“Mate the amount of kelp Tesco put on their sandwiches a asked for a clam sandwich no the botanical gardens”
“when you push a pull door and the person behind says “you need to pull” aye cheers lad sure next plan was to start lifting from the bottom”
“a feel like the biggest shock ae ma life was discovering that some tuna are
actually fucking massive, like bigger than andre the giant, this shoulda been
taught in school then a wouldny be so
terrified at the thought ae big thick
shoals ae andre the giants”
“Do u no look at your pals and wonder how they’ve made it this far and how stupidity hasny killed them yet” (after hearing about Kwazii or Paani doing something stupid again)