#Sharp Humor

[the-most-humble-blog]

The Most Humble Blog Goes Multi-Platform: Bluesky Edition.

Let’s See How Long Before They Regret It.

Alright, family, I just rolled up into Bluesky!

No hashtags. No algorithm hand-holding. Just raw engagement, lost Twitter orphans, and a whole lot of people pretending this place is the second coming of Christ.

I’m still talking my shit over here on Tumblr, but now there’s a second battlefield.

If you want the same razor-sharp humor, unapologetic chaos, and well-placed verbal violence, follow me on Bluesky:

@themosthumbleblog.bsky.social

💀New platform. Same energy. Same disrespect. Let’s see how long before I make someone cry. Thanks Fam!

[ryllen]

Menace , Funny

Menace , Funny

[red-panda-fangirl]

Drat. Foiled again.

[rahuratna]

Suited up

More fatherly goodness from the gentleman sorcerer, Nanami Kento. This time, featuring Ino!

Ino was excited. Not in the usual sense, when he had a mission with Nanami lined up. Today was different. Today would be the day he nailed that sweet, sweet grade one sorcerer recommendation from his mentor, the sorcerer he admired the most.

Ino had been watching, you see. He couldn't do without his own signature ski mask, as that was completely necessary for the functioning of his unique cursed technique. There were other things he had taken note of, however, that might be worth a change.

For starters, the suit. No matter where the mission, whether in the sparkling heart of Tokyo or in the depths of the most squalid sewer, Nanami would always appear in his impeccable and tasteful suit. Tailored to perfection, sitting perfectly at the wrist and ankles, comfort and flexibility reserved at no expense to the clean, fitted outline on the powerful frame they enclosed, Nanami's suits were a thing of beauty.

Then, the handkerchief. Nanami never went without. There was always a clean square of linen, folded in a perfect square, in one of his pockets. Nanami had used his handkerchief to help Ino mop blood off his face once, and, although the cloth had been ruined, Ino knew that the threadcount on that little square made it more valuable than the entirety of his baggy shirt and trousers.

Of course, there were the shoes. Nanami's sturdy leather brogues, hand sewn and always polished to high shine, saw a lot of wear. Of course they would, considering the speed and power of the sorcerer who wore them. But no matter how soiled and worn they were by the end of the mission, the care invested in their restoration was evident. Nanami would show up the next day with his shoes back in such good condition you could see your reflection in them.

Then, there was the way he wore his tie, the way he combed his hair, the coveted wristwatch. But there would be time enough to speculate on those things later. For now, Ino would be satisfied to see Nanami's reaction to his own get up.

The mission was straightforward. They had been assigned to clear out an old warehouse on the docks near the harbour. A curse infestation had been reported in the area, probably triggered by the recent wage protests the dock workers had engaged in due to cutbacks. Of course, Ino's affinity for crowd control would come in handy, and so, he had been dispatched with Nanami as a two-man team.

As he stood on the sidewalk not far from his apartment, Ino shifted from one foot to the other, still growing accustomed to the outfit he had on. As a grade two sorcerer, he earned a fair salary. He'd saved up for a month or two to splurge out on these clothes.

He had invested in a good tailor and had a dark grey suit made to fit. He wore a black polo shirt beneath and the best leather belt he could find. His socks were polyester, but comfortable enough and wouldn't slip or bunch inside his new black leather shoes. Ino had neatly combed and parted his hair, using a high hold pomade that gave a shine he wasn't sure he liked. It would prevent his hair from going haywire when he had to use his ski mask, though. And he had a handkerchief, of course. Bought cheaply in a pack of five because he'd been in a rush, but who would be looking that closely, anyway?

A dark sedan pulled up to the kerb where he waited and Ino felt a clench of nervous anticipation in his stomach. Would Nanami approve of his new look? Had he gone overboard? Did he look like some kind of copycat freakshow now? Steeling himself, Ino opened the rear door and slid inside, sending a tense greeting to the experienced sorcerer who sat beside him.

Nanami greeted him back and then stopped short. Sweating slightly, Ino kept his gaze straight ahead as Nanami's eyes travelled from his perfectly combed hair down to his new shoes. Ino coughed slightly and fidgeted with his belt.

"So ... any ideas on how we should tackle the warehouse?"

Nanami regarded him in silence for a moment, before pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose and tapping his fingers on his knee, as he sometimes did when he was thinking deeply about something.

"We'll approach as we usually do. I'll go in and guage the strength of the spirits before making a tactical retreat. We perform a second sweep, with you flanking me. Then we use your targeted attacks to hone in on any remaining curses that may be concealing themselves."

"Got it."

There was a short spell of silence.

"That's a fine suit you have on."

"You think so?"

Ino released a breath he had been holding, elation swelling in his chest.

"It is." Nanami paused. "Having said that, there are a few pointers I'd like to give you, as you've chosen to dress in this manner today."

"You will?"

Ino could barely contain his excitement now. Nanami nodded and folded his arms.

"Yes. For starters, have you worn those shoes before today?"

"Uh, no. Didn't want them to ... you know. Get all dusty and stuff before the mission."

"Place your feet against the seat in front of you right now and bend your toes."

"Huh?"

"Like this."

Nanami demonstrated, and Ino followed suit, slower due to his confusion.

"Leather always needs to be broken in. I've been wearing these shoes for close to a year now. And I alternate between pairs, so that I minimize wear and tear and allow the leather to rest, especially if I've been out in wet weather. If you go in as you are, the new leather will not have had time to take on the shape of your feet. You'll be in some discomfort a few hours in."

"For real?"

Balancing in his seat, the younger sorcerer hurriedly began to rock his feet back and forth against the seat in front of him, wondering how he couldn't have noticed how stiff the leather was. He could thank his lucky stars that Nanami had forewarned him.

"There's more, Ino."

"There is?"

"That pomade you have on your hair ... it's going to form stiff peaks as you perspire inside the ski mask. Next time, opt for a softer styling wax."

"Ohhh, damn. I didn't know that."

Nanami now reached across and ran his fingers along the hem of Ino's jacket, then grabbed one of his sleeves and tugged.

"Oh dang, what is it?"

"I'd also advise you to lose the jacket when you go into combat. I ask my tailor to perform a specific type of stitching that allows for more freedom of movement. You're going to need to remove the jacket if you want to move freely and effectively."

Ino's bubble of excitement was rapidly deflating. He'd wanted so badly to impress Nanami today, but all he'd succeeded in doing was showing off his inexperience and making himself look like some kind of desperate wannabe. He cleared his throat and straightened his posture, giving Nanami his signature bright smile and thumbs up. He hoped that he had somehow concealed how embarrassed he was feeling.

"Thanks Nanami. I promise I won't let you down today!"

By the end of the day, Ino was feeling a lot less chipper. Scratch that, he was feeling downright miserable.

The mission had started off promisingly. They'd found the warehouse infested with cursed spirits, some of them rather powerful. After drawing the bulk of the spirits out into the open, Nanami had retreated as planned, so that Ino could use his Reiki to shield himself from attacks and move swiftly between the raging curses.

This was where Ino's problems had started.

Due to the huge amount of cursed energy he burned through, and the highly physical nature of his technique, Ino perspired a lot in combat. His baggy clothing normally allowed ample air circulation around his body, letting him cool down faster, but the polo shirt and the thicker material of his new trousers did no such thing. 

As sweat poured down to sting his eyes, Ino was hyper aware of how the soaking material clung uncomfortably to his chest and back, how his legs felt like they were encased in a damp, restricting vice.

The leather shoes had started out comfortable enough thanks to the stretching Nanami had had him perform, but even they lost elasticity over time. Sore red ridges had been rubbed into his ankles and the area around his toes felt as if it had been chafed raw.

To add insult to injury, a vat of putrid fluid, that had been lying stagnant for God knew how long, had been upended all over Ino by one of the cursed spirits, ruining any chance he'd had of salvaging some dignity and completely ruining his outfit. Somehow, Nanami had dodged the spray of fluid and darted towards the offending spirit, ending it with a deadly, but elegant stroke of his blade. 

Ino had given it his all, of course. He'd fought with every ounce of determination he possessed, and they'd eventually decimated the spirits that infested the warehouse. At great cost to his body and dignity, of course. His muscles were screaming because of the unnatural strain he'd put them through, and his shoulder throbbed where a spirit had grabbed him and damn near dislocated it.

By the time they left the warehouse, Nanami was striding along at his usual pace, suit spotless, collar open, cufflinks gleaming, hair stylishly dishevelled, while something that looked like a veritable swamp monster hobbled along at his side, emitting feeble groans now and then.

"Ino."

"Y - Yeah?"

"Take off those shoes now."

"But - "

"Do as I say."

The shoes came off with a very distinct and soggy noise. Undaunted, Nanami reached for them and scooped them up so that they hung from the fingers of one hand. He then went down on one knee, facing away from Ino.

"Get on."

" ... what?"

"Climb on. Your can't make it all the way to the car in this condition."

"But - but I'm filthy, Nanami! I'll get this smelly shit all over your clothes!"

"Don't worry about that. The dry cleaners I frequent are excellent and ... accustomed to my requests by now."

With a great deal of reluctance, the young sorcerer climbed onto his senior's back, head flopping forward in sudden exhaustion when Nanami lifted him in piggy-back fashion. They made their way back to where the car awaited them.

"Nanami?"

"Yes?"

"How do you do it?"

"Do what?"

"How do you manage to look like ... you know. Like you can do anything you put your mind to. And why in a suit, of all things?"

The strong shoulders beneath Ino's chin jerked in a small huff of amusement.

"I'm not sure what you mean, but I suppose experience is the best teacher. I've been on my fair share of missions. I know what to expect and plan accordingly. As to why I wear a suit, well ... "

His voice trailed off, but Ino remained silent, aware that if he stayed like this he might probably hear something that would give him greater insight into the man he admired above all others.

"Hmm. I suppose, it was something I learned when I worked as a salaryman. In society, the clothes you wear define who you are. They speak to others of your personality, your preferences, the way you want to be perceived and your standing in a certain social setting. I chose my clothes so that I would blend in. I wanted ... an ordinary life. A life that would let me pursue ordinary goals and let me retire in comfort."

"But you came back. Back to being a sorcerer, I mean."

"It wasn't that I missed this life. It wasn't that I wanted to be a sorcerer either. But my talent for working efficiently, and working hard, was best put to good use in a manner where I could help others."

"But you still kept the suit?"

"Indeed. The suit reminds me of who I am, at heart. I've never wanted more than a regular life. I never will want more. If I have to exorcise spirits looking like I used to as a salaryman, then so be it. Let the spirits experience my effort, my work ethic, my real and very ordinary self."

There was a long silence, broken only by the sound of Nanami's footsteps on the damp paving stones that led to the car park. Ino gave a weak chuckle.

"Ordinary? You know, I think I can get behind that."

"You can?"

"Yeah. I'm pretty much a regular guy too. But you know, Nanami ... "

The younger man's voice trailed off, and for a moment, Nanami thought he had drifted off into an exhausted sleep. Then Ino spoke again.

"I don't think you give yourself enough credit. There's a reason I wanna be like you, more than other sorcerers. If being a run-of-the-mill guy means always choosing to put other people first, if it means choosing to do what you feel is right, and if it means ... that when you're gone, someday in the future, people will always remember the things you taught them and miss you like hell, then you wouldn't call yourself that ordinary, would you?"

Nanami was quiet for a long time after that.

Ino had never felt greater relief than when he was able to shower at Jujutsu Tech later that night, sling on a clean tracksuit and receive some treatment from Ieiri for his bruised and twisted shoulder. Feeling far more human, he made his way down to the foyer, wondering what he could have for a late-night snack.

To his surprise, Nanami was waiting for him.

"You're still here? I thought you'd have left already."

Namami held up a small bag.

"You left your jacket behind in the car."

"Ah." Ino scratched the back of his head. "Thanks. But I don't think I'll be wearing that again."

"Understandable. But, if you like, I can take you to my tailor to make some ... additions to your regular work clothes. You can still look your best, even while comfortable, you know."

Ino brightened considerably at this.

"Oh? I never thought of that."

"And I suppose you're hungry after the mission. We can go and get fried chicken and beer."

Whooping slightly, the younger sorcerer loped happily out the front doors, before stopping and glancing back at Nanami sheepishly.

"Uh, I'm kinda broke right now after splashing out on that suit ... "

"I'm paying."

"Now we're talking!"

[zetadraconis11]

HL Incorrect Quote #53

*after Potions class*

*group surrounding a broken jar of dragon scales*

Prof. Sharp: So... who broke it? I'm not mad. I just want to know.

MC: I did. I broke-

Sharp: No, no you didn't. Mr. Gaunt?

Ominis: Don't look at me. Look at Garreth.

Garreth: What? I didn't break it.

Ominis: Huh. That's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?

Garreth: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.

Ominis, squinting: Suspicious.

Garreth: No, it's not!

Sebastian: If it matters, probably not, but Poppy was the last one to use it.

Poppy: Liar! I don't even brew that crap!

Sebastian: Oh, really? Then what were you doing by the inventory earlier?

Poppy: I use the weighing scales to measure out beast feed; everyone knows that, Sebastian!

MC: Ok, ok! Let’s not fight! I broke it, let me pay for it, Professor!

Sharp: No! Who broke it?

Garreth, leaning in:��...Professor... Natty's been awfully quiet.

Natty: REALLY?

Garreth: Yeah! Really.

Natty: For Merlin's sake!

*group starts arguing*

Sharp, to the faculty: I broke it. My leg bumped into the shelf, and it fell. I predict ten minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with war paint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. 

*looks back at the group that continues to argue*

Sharp: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[lorainelegacy]

My favorite squad✨

TikTok - YouTube

[wildsaltair]

the amount of appeal this man has for me cannot be fully expressed in human words

[dafpork]

is there something you'd like to share with the class

honorable mention

[fangirl-erdariel]

One thing that's jumped at me on my most recent reread (well, i'm listenibg to an audiobook, but either way) of LOTR, is that Aragorn has this... honestly quite specific way he responds to feeling like he has made a mistake (whether or not the audience or even the narrative would blame him for that, which is neither here nor there for my current point), that I feel like a lot of the fandom (myself included) and a lot of fanfics don't really get, and that doesn't really carry over to the movie adaptation either

Like, on one hand, verbally he's going to beat himself up about it, he's going to go "oh i have messed this up!" very much out loud

But then at the same time, he doesn't really let that halt him, like, he's still gonna get back to going and act to salvage the situation as best he can very quickly, possibly even while he is still beating himself up about it

And like we do see him do this a bunch. Most noticeably of course over the stretch from Rauros to Fangorn, Breaking of the Fellowship and Boromir's death to meeting Gandalf the White, but before that too

At Weathertop, we get him going argh i've been too careless and impatient. But there's no way to turn back time, the enemy has now spotted them and some of the signs there might have been about recent goings-on were messed up before he could investigate them, so all that can be done is prepare and stand their ground as best they can, and deal with the consequences when they come

After the Fellowship escapes Moria, as they're making toward Lothlórien, you get the, oh shit i forgot you were injured i'm really sorry about that i was concentrating on getting distance between us and the orcs you should've said something (tbh out of everything, this instance is in my opinion the least amount his fault). But all that can be done is carry Frodo and Sam until they reach a place where they can stop for a bit, and then tend to their injuries, which is what he does without further delay

Those are the main ones I can think of off the top of my head (there's maybe a couple others but those are too vague and dependent on reader's interpretation of tone to feel worth including), but I feel like it is enough to start making a pattern

Interestingly, he doesn't do it when the attempt to cross Caradhras (which in the book was because of Aragorn's insistence to avoid Moria if at all possible; in the movie it's played a bit differently) ends in them all nearly freezing to death. Whether it's because at first he's busy not freezing to death and getting back down from the mountain and not being killed by wargs, and then he's busy acting like he's not fucking terrified of going into Moria because of some past traumatic experience we never get any more information on, or because however much he hates the idea, the back-up plan of going through Moria is already in place, or because he trusts Gandalf to be able to keep things in control, or what, i'm not sure, but it's the one major exception i can think of.

And it's not really uncertainty or indecisiveness or self-doubt, even though I can see how it would easily read that way, especially if the only example that's ever caught your eye is the bit after Rauros (like, at that point, he does genuinely doubt himself a bit, and it does mix together with his beating himself up over his mistakes, but the source of the self-doubt still is not in his general way of reacting to his mistakes, but rather because he's been forced two choose between two roads that both felt to him like his duty, and he's still not certain he chose the right one).

Really, it seems like it's just... well, just his way of reacting. Maybe it's venting his frustrations, maybe it's reminding himself how careful he must be, how little he can afford mistakes, that he can't allow himself to make this mistake in the future. Maybe just generally being harsh on himself. But whatever it is, it's not, I think, doubt or uncertainty, it's a separate thing.

Anyway yeah idk what my conclusion here actually is but. Just an observation I've made recently aboyt the ways Aragorn tends to act

[luck-of-the-drawings]

EPISODE 2 AND 3 HAVE BEEN SOOOO FUN im already so emotionally attached to each of these characters.. if anything bad ever happens to any of them im killing everyone and then everyone.

[bijoumikhawal]

Do we think Julian is drawn to both Jadzia and Garak because they have (some, semi-superficial) similarities... corollary; how offended would each of them be if they were told so

[fisherrprince]

oh so alisaie’s exaggerated bully behavior is 80% fanon. saying this she casually picks up a large rock

[ac-fandom]

it's a compilation of some humor about my Kisaku family AU

Chiara Sharp (My OC): oh come on Preston, I know you have a crush on him!

Preston: How many times do I have to tell you, I don't have a crush on Dracon!

Chiara: but I didn't say who~

Preston: ...

Lucian: I knew it!!

------------------------------------------------------

Joe: you have just tell to him, "you have beautiful eyes" okay?

David: yes, it's a great idea!! *he goes to Jude*

David: i have beautiful eyes! *in the midest of a gay panic attack*

Jude: okay?

Joe: oh good lord, Dave why...

-------------------------------------------------------

Chiara: *twist some bandages on Miyabino's hands* you need to be more careful when you train...you know I care about you

Preston: i know Chiara and I appreciate it, but can you put me down, please, it's embarrassing...

Chiara: what do you mean?

Preston: *is sitting on her lap like a little child* you know what I mean but then can you wait until the team and assistants leave before you take me and treat me like a child?!

Chiara: No *smiles lovingly at him*

--------------------------------------------------

David: good morning! *looks at Jude* Your hair is a mess

Jude: YOUR LIFE IS A MESS! *after stopping a fight between Caleb and Chiara over who decided the Resistance Japan training sessions*

David: but you're my life...

Jude: i'm both insulted and very in love with you...

----------------------------------------------------------

David: Don't talk or text like that to my son ever again!

Dracon: you mean our son

Dracon: he call me daddy too~

Chiara: i gonna kill you....

---------------------------------------------------

Chiara: Uncle Caleb Uncle Joe guess what!!

Caleb/Joe: what?

Chiara: I was making something that start with P and ends with orn!!

Joe:WHAT!?!

Caleb: okay kid, good job and good luck to tell to your parents

Chiara: no Uncle Caleb it's popcorn! :)

Caleb to Joe: please remind me why Jude and David chose her at the orphanage...

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[flameleads]

Having photoshop means I can also do absolutely silly things like change my avatar. Because if you can't have fun with it, what's the point? Look, I recently figured out I'm pan, so I'm enjoying it, okay.

[glorbs-dominion]

Cheesy Joke

Surprisingly, sometimes even very cheesy jokes, such as this one, end up in the Fame Channel. Those of you who like these kinds of jokes may enjoy knowing this.