#Simon Talks About Dragon Age

[simonjadis]

corinne busche, john epler, and matt rhodes did a Q&A on discord for Dragon Age: The Veilguard

I'm working but I did a thread on some highlights that I heard. I'm simonjadis on bluesky too ofc

[tuxedo-rabbit]

UM?

Simon is not romancing Anders???

[pb-dot]

Film Friday: Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves

After my last FF being of a slow burn indie movie of excellent pedigree, I figure it's time to talk about something big and (joyfully) stupid to even things out. I joke, but Dungeons and Dragons have been on my mind these last few days, so why not talk about the movie adaptation. No, not that one, the good one. Trust me, I will get to the Jeremy Irons Chewing The Scenery movie eventually, but today we're talking about Honor Among Thieves.

One of the greatest joy of the current era is that with the mainstream-approximate popularity of Actual Play shows like Critical Role, Dimension 20 and Naddpod, there's a wider understanding of the kind of storytelling that goes on in tabletop roleplaying games. The particular way these stories blend character-focused storytelling with a main plot that usually functions as a lens for said character focus isn't unique to roleplaying necessarily, but it is a central component that this kind of storytelling needs.

As such, Honor isn't a quest for a magical artifact to slay an evil wizard undertaken by brave adventurers, it's more the ongoing catastrophes of a bunch of walking disasters that also happen to feature some looking for magical artifacts and slaying some evil wizards more as a matter of consequence.

To wit, our story follows bard Edgin, Barbarian Holga, Sorcerer Simon (I SEE what you did there), and outcast druid Doric as they attempt to reunite Edgin with his daughter Kira, now the ward of former friend of Edgin, Forge. Complicating matters is that Forge turns out to be a lying, thieving, betraying backstabber who has teamed up with an evil red wizard to rule the town of Neverwinter, and he's not much keen on relinquishing his ward, so it's-a-thieving our adventurers must go.

When I say the storytelling follow the beats of a D&D campaign, that isn't only on the character focus stuff, it's down to the structure of the thing. The band of adventurers plans to preform a heist, but needs a magical artifact to do so, so they enlist a legendary warrior whose hyper-competence and cryptic advice makes him the most obvious GM PC I've ever seen, for the uninitiated is a GM PC is a NPC made to follow the rules of a player character, usually for the GM to get some vicarious playing thrills and/or wrench the plot back on track directly. Together with this hot piece of HP, our heroes fumble some puzzles, circumvent some puzzles and gets into moderate to severe peril, as is tradition.

There's a real sense of fun to the proceedings, and the movie is filled with the kind of gags that might arise from a table full of giddy nerds. Of course the bird-man Jarnathan becomes the most important character in the room for like ten minutes, that's the kind of character players latch on to. Of course, our players have a close call with a pack of Intellect Devourers, who it turns out have no interest in the group. For one nobody plays a class who benefits from high Intelligence, they're also idiots, not that they let that stop them of course.

All of this comes together to create this infectiously enthusiastic film. The action scenes are made somewhat more kinetic than the miniature and/or imagination-based fair it's based on, yes, but there seems to be some attention paid to structuring most of them like D&D fights. The final confrontation with the aforementioned evil wizard in particular has the distinct flow of a climactic campaign-concluding encounter. There's stuff to nitpick, of course, but show me a single D&D group who plays strictly "Rules As Written," and I will tell you that you've shown me some miserable gits that'd be happier playing a video game.

There's obviously a lot of love behind Dungeon and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves, from the writing and directing choices above to using practical effects to show off some more fantastical humanoid races that they didn't really need to show off, although I would be derelict in my duties if I didn't remark that while Tieflings can indeed have human skin colors, it is highly unusual for a player to chose to be anything but blue, red or purple. I'm not saying Sophia Lillis should've been in body paint this entire time, but it could easily be justified.

[mikichko]

141 x white reader recs? 👉🏻👈🏻

Hi nonnie 😊

I'm not going to lie, this ask bewildered me a bit! I wasn't sure if you were being serious or not since this fandom is basically 90% white. Going by those numbers I'd assume there's a plethora of white content for you to enjoy, love.

I can't imagine that an ask for recommendations of an demographic that isn't typically featured in reader inserts would stir you up so much. Right?

Regardless, I do truly love to talk about my favorite writers so here is a list of writers (in addition to the previously mentioned) whose work I absolutely adore.

In no particular order:

🍂 Early

Starting off strong with the individual that sucked me into this black hole of a fandom. I absolutely love Early's writing style and their focus on fat readers. I reread a ton of their works constantly! Currently The Space in Between is what I read at the gym when I'm doing my hot girl walk 🥰🥰 Ensnared me with this Current Fave: The Space In Between

🍂 PFHWrites

Following it up with the second cod blog I ever followed, give it up for P! I absolutely adore P's works and the thought that he puts into the creechurs 🐈 (P patented term) in his works. Writes incredible pieces for transmasc!readers that I absolutely adore Ensnared me with: No clue actually! I just think of P as this entity that one day appeared on my tumblr dash and whose work I've been in love with for ages (tbh it was probably porn but...) Current Fave: Binders and Boyfriends

🍂 glossysoap

Glossy, my beloved Soap worshiper in arms 💕 Glossy has an incredible knack for writing that's amplified by her vibrant personality and how much she uplifts other writers in the community. I adore her to death and am so glad we have such a great writer like her in the fandom Ensnared me with: Bloody Shame (kyle fuckers rejoice) Current fave: Pushing Boundaries

🍂 kyletogaz

Our wonderful beautiful Jess 🥰💕 Resident Kyle and F1 enthusiast I have suuuch a fun time reading Jess' works (even when she is emotionally destroying me ;-;) I have her post notifications on so I don't miss a single work :') Ensnared me with: Simon fixing your attitude Current fave: Sharing is Caring

🍂 swordsandholly

Holly's Cherry Bomb 🍒 series has me by the goddamn neck right now! I am actively choking as I type this out because of how fucking good it is. Her depictions of Simon in 'Double Date - Double Down' solidified me as a fan from the beginning Ensnared me with: Double Date - Double Down Current fave: Cherry Bomb

🍂 stellewriites

Stelle's wonderful personality shines through so brightly that when I followed her I didn't even realize she wrote. When the cognizant part of my brain finally kicked in and I finally realized she was a writer I berated myself for not reading her work earlier. So happy that I stumbled upon her and her work 💞💖 Ensnared me with: Amazing personality <3 Current fave: Choices Made in Anger

🍂 syoddeye

Sy is another writer who I just cannot remember how I came across them! Honestly, someone else probably reblogged one of their works and I fell in love with their writing style. Whoever it was I am immensely thankful. Sy makes works that are so marvelous my brain gets more wrinkly every time I read something of theirs ❣ Ensnared me with: It's a black box I'm so sorry Current fave: The Lift (this is lowkey my motivator before the gym)

🍂 dragonnarrative-writes

Dragon's works have got me foaming at the mouth. Another creator who I have no clue how their works came onto my timeline but all I know is that I am so thankful. Every one of their works is a treat akin to indulging in something ridiculously delicious. 💘 Ensnared me with: Autumn Embers Current fave: Autumn Embers (particularly Part 3A ;))

🍂 indigosunsetao3

Indigo was actually recommended to me under a post lamenting the lack of Alex Keller works! And boy am I glad she was because the way she writes about Alex Keller makes me rattle at the bars of my enclosure for this white man. Absolutely amazing content that I am so happy to have been told about her! 💓 Ensnared me with: Older CIA Alex Keller Current fave: Move In Day (Alex Keller fuckers rejoice)

I am missing so so so many incredibly writers who I adore as well but because of time constraints I didn't have time to include them. Honestly, I'll probably just keep adding this list and using it as a rec list!

This fandom has been blessed with so many folks who create marvelous pieces for readers across the spectrum. We're fortunate that writers have cultivated such an accepting space 💕

[kazutora-kurokawa]

About Me + Request Rules + TAGLIST

Masterlist

Headcanons

Toman

Tenjiku

Bonten

Black Dragons

Multiple Characters

Full Fics/Mini Fics

Multiple Characters

Me U & Hennessy (NSFW)

It Wasn't Me! (SFW)

TokRev x Reader: Risky Sex (NSFW)

Beat Me To It: Mitsuya Finds Out Hakkai Lost His V-card (SFW+suggestive)

Good Cop, Bad Cop: Mikey x Sensitive!Reader x Takemichi (NSFW)

HanKisa x Reader: On Camera (NSFW)

Corrupt!TakeMikey x Wife!Reader (SFW)

HanKisa x Reader: Ferris Wheel Fuck (SFW->NSFW)

Needy!TokRev x Coworker!Reader (NSFW)

Vampire!Baji x Vampire!Reader pt.2: Turning Chifuyu (SFW+angst+comfort)(part 1 is in headcanons section)

HanKisa x Shy!Reader w/ Spanking Kink (NSFW)

Kazutora

Post Prison!Kazutora (NSFW)

Kazutora x Reader: Thought We Was Tied (SFW+angst)

Sex w/ Clingy!Kazutora (NSFW)

Mikey

Cheater!Bonten Mikey (NSFW)

Masturfesting w/ Mikey (NSFW)

Yandere!Bonten!Mikey x Chubby!Insecure!Bimbo!Reader (NSFW)

Draken

Mechanic!Draken x Cheater!Reader (NSFW)

Sanzu

Savior!Bonten!Sanzu (SFW)

Bonten!Sanzu x Reader: Waking Up To You (SFW+suggestive)

Kisaki

Soft!Kisaki x Motormouth!Reader (SFW)

Takemichi

Dom!Takemichi x Brat!Reader (NSFW)

Taiju

Submissive!Taiju (NSFW)

Protective!Taiju x Naive!Bratty!Reader (SFW->NSFW->SFW)

Izana

Izana x Gang Member's Sister!Reader (SFW)

Baji

Simon Says, Fuck Me (NSFW)

Rockstar!Baji Kissing Fan!Reader (SFW+suggestive)

Cheater!Baji x Reader (SFW+angst)

Hanma

Valhalla!Hanma x Rival Gang Member!Reader (NSFW)

Sub!Hanma x Reader: Cumming From Degradation (NSFW)

Soft Sex w/ Hanma (NSFW)

Shion

Exhausted!Office Worker!Shion x Horny!Needy!Reader (NSFW)

Rindou

Vampire!Rindou x Vampire Slayer!Reader (NSFW)

Hakkai

Boyfriend!Hakkai + Birthday Head

Random Stuff

*things that aren't necessarily full headcanons or full fics*

Take me Out (SFW/meme)

Boobs or Butt? (SFW/hcs)

Mommy Kink Draken? (NSFW)

Hanma x Chubby!Reader (SFW/hcs)

Hanma grabbing your waist (SFW)

Hanma Thirst (NSFW)

Ran Thirst (NSFW)

Kazutora Thirst (NSFW)

Kazutora Thirst 2 (NSFW)

Hanma is an ass man (NSFW)

TokRev x Hispanic!Reader (SFW+NSFW)

Baji Thirst (NSFW/short)

Rindou x Reader x Shion Thirst (NSFW)

Model!Hakkai x Designer!Reader (SFW)

Vampire!Hakkai Thirst (SFW+suggestive)

Small Lovesick!Kazutora Ramble (SFW)

Headcanons

Armin

Armin Relationship Headcanons (SFW+NSFW)

Eren

Toxic!Dom!Eren Headcanons (SFW+NSFW)

Multiple Characters

When their partner apologizes for talking too much (SFW)

Headcanons

Choso

Virgin!Choso Headcanons (NSFW)

Pussy Drunk!Choso Headcanons (NSFW)

Choso w/ A Breeding Kink (SFW->NSFW)

Choso w/ A Mommy Kink (NSFW)

Toji

Things Toji Has Said During Sex

Multiple Characters

JJK Men When They Catch You Masturbating (NSFW)

JJK x Clingy!Bimbo!Reader (SFW+slight NSFW)

Full Fics/Short Fics

Nanami

Nanami Going Down On You (NSFW)

Headcanons

Kafka

Kafka Headcanons (NSFW)

Multiple Characters

Movie Night Headcanons w/ Kafka and Reno (SFW)

Full Fics/Short Fics

Kafka

Giving Kafka Head (NSFW)

Kafka x Bimbo!Reader Thirst (NSFW)

Kafka Kissing Your Pussy Goodbye (NSFW)

Full Fics/Short Fics

Togame

Togame Giving You Head (NSFW)

Kaji

Kaji Sharing His Candy (SFW+suggestive)

*Random Drabbles are usually multi-fandom/have multiple characters named

Random Thoughts 1 (NSFW)

Random Thoughts 2 (NSFW)

Random Thoughts 3 (NSFW)

Random Thoughts 4 (NSFW)

Touchstarved Men (SFW->NSFW)

Big Men Headcanons (NSFW)

Some Short Clingy!Men Headcanons (SFW->NSFW)

🐯🎴 All characters I write about are aged 18+ or have their timeskip! versions used | ask before translating my work (I'll only allow translations on tumblr and wattpad) | If you see my work translated or reposted somewhere else, shoot me a message to let me know!

[dracobrooklyn]

Call of Duty Recommending Writing.

These are my recommendations on these amazing COD x Reader or Oc x Cannon Writing. These are the best of the best :D Light on by @peachesofteal

Simon has a new neighbor. His new neighbor has a baby.

|| MDNI|| 18+

This anthology is just so damn beautiful, when I jumped into the COD x reader train this one was the first one, and I LOVE IT! the writing is so in character of Mister Simon Riley and by god, he still his grumpy self but still minds his manners towards the single mom reader with her baby <3. The relationship between Simon and the neighbor is a slow burn romance and by god it's so good, the way he is soft towards her. Fighting his feelings but letting them go. How he treats the little baby, as if he was father the whole time, god damn it, it's so sweet. There is very much Smut in this, the kinks are just fabulous. I will not spoil much but please read read!! Worth the love and the time spent onto this!!

FATUM NOS IUNGEBIT by @kneelingshadowsalome || MDNI || 18+

{Historical AU. Roman Auxilia soldier!König with his spoils of war gf. Slow burn, romance, violence, fluff, eventual smut, 18+}

König x F!Reader | The soldiers behind him shift with lust – their gear clinks as they devour you with unbridled hunger. The Titan is the only one who looks at you like you’re simply a cute little squirrel who happened to fall from a tree right there at his feet. Then his eyes drop to your breasts, and the familiar hunger that lives in men gives the ocean of his eyes a clouded look. When his stare finds yours again, he's a different man: the treacherous beast of your dreams.

Man on Man... where do I start with this. This is a four Part Story so there is more slow burn romance to eat. Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner, and Dessert. The writing in this is so good! It's the right amount of character development, the way they use the language barrier in this is so creative and fun! Konig in this is just a treat, brash but loving, he's a man, course he's not gonna be a total prince charming. His interactions with the reader is very spicy and also sweet. The detail into the interactions *chef kiss*. Give me more! The Kinks are real good in this, reading this while curled up in my burrito blanket oof. Please do give this a chance, well worth it!

mafia!John Price x fem!wife!Reader by @cordeliawhohung || MDNI || 18+

All you wanted was to be able to see your husband after a long week at work, but when he stands you up at dinner, that's the last straw. You hunt him down and find him at a club that he owns, where you very quickly learn why he told you to stay very far away from the place. - Or, mafia!Price defends his wife's honor then fucks her in the VIP room <3

you want a fun horny but sweet/steamy Price x Reader one shot. Here have this wonderful snack, it's a big one :3. Just the way the reader was concerned for good ol Mr. Price with being a mafia boss. But then then smut goes in, yis :3. It's dirty but a good dirty! you want a man like John to treat you like a gentleman, this is it! <3

Price x Young Reader by @luvit || MDNI || 18+

This is short but sweet! Just a fun headcannon that the reader who is in their mid/late 20's so this is an age gap headcannon. It's not off portions with the age gap. The description talking about the reader having more energy than him onto their second or third round and he is milked dry oof, and then the reader becomes bratty and he takes the reigns despite his low energy <3 it's good :D.

Fae!Price x Witch!reader by @ghouljams || MDNI || 18+

Hear me out hear me out... fae!price... cool? Cool! The writing in this is so good! Price teasing the reader when the fae try to give you a gift and you know better to. Not giving out their name, or even your name. The Fae know how to be tricksters. And the smut in this, oh it's so spicy! I love it! I'm a slut for magic based writing. especially AU's like these!! Please give them a shot! I know I LOVED.

WICKER PYRE | Dragon!Price x Reader by @yeyinde || MDNI || 18+

All things considered, you should have expected it. You know better than to make deals with dragons.

Ah Ha, you see if you know me (or don't) I LOVE dragons!! Dragons are my favorite creature! I love them, and what's better when you can romance a dragon! I mean come on! Good shit my guy! And I love and accept the headcannon that Price would be a dragon 100% not because of the smoking of a cigar that's the 5%, it's the personality, the vibe, and the voice fits so perfectly. The writing in this is so damn spicy!! How rough and hot it is (no pun intended). The way he teases the reader, ah. Very nice~ please give his a read!

woe to the deer who is courted by the wolf . . . by @toshidou Vampire!Konig x reader || MDNI || 18+

You want Vampire!Konig in your pallet, say no more. Here have this damn meal! The beginning is very silly in a good way! But when you finally come across the man himself, it get's good. I love it when Writers use his German language in the writing, it's adds the mystery where I have to look it up and I go "OH!?". It's so good! I love it! It got that size difference and the a little blood play cause of the vampire thing but please read this! indulge thyself!!

Faint Jingling Brass by @cowyolks || MDNI || 18+

Prompt: There was something about you, something that urged the beast to enter your cottage. It was intrigued, sniffing the anguish of your very soul- and it wanted you.

Krampus!Konig... yeah uh give me the eggnog with the cookies please, this was a joy to read. Totally wouldn't bang Krampus, I don't know what you are talking about. The fact that the reader was totally willing to get punished, you know it's good. Spanking? Predator/Prey dynamic? Yes Yes!! Please read this!!

Your Grace by @cowyolks Prompt: As a loyal soldier to your King, you follow orders without question. So when the King asks you to kneel— you do as told. || MDNI || 18+

Fun fact, if I am correct Konig means king in German. Why not have an AU where Knoig is the king and you are def his favorite. The writing is so damn hot oof! It is in two parts though! And the reading is so worth it. Made me blush and curl up in my blanket as well! Please please read!!

[blingblong55]

All too well- Simon 'Ghost' Riley

A/N: this is some of me in writing and why I believe romance is not for me, not now at least...so enjoy :) --- F!Reader, angst? fluff?, toxic!Ghost, age gap, older boyfriend!Ghost ----

A/N: I know Ghost wouldn't be this kind of man if he was real but I have to break my heart with him...sorry

He is older than you, years ahead of you and has more experience than you do so when you broke up with him, it was hard to let go. You at the time were 20, he was 37. People always judged and of course, you thought it was because they were jealous not because they were seriously concerned. Still, in Uni, he wanted you to make him your priority. You always said no and for some reason, he would get mad about this. At first, he was the nice guy, he was perfect and it all made you more sure that maybe there was a future with him. Your free time was spent with him because somehow, he convinced you to give all your time to him. 

This all gets noticed by all your friends. Your phone, passwords and even social accounts get monitored and checked by him. It wasn't all romance anymore. It became a reward system, you gave him your free time? Maybe he would be romantic. You let him control your friendships? Maybe he would tell you more about his weekends. Soon enough, you noticed it. Simon became the villain and for good reasons. He played the perfect part all too well, but only to those questioning stares and in those moments, it was perfection. 

When the stares looked away, he was the same Simon that had your heart trapped at the top of the castle. His anger and manipulative tactics become the dragon. Everywhere you went, his shadows lurked for you. When he said he wanted you to think of him every second of your waking life, he meant it. Will he approve of me talking to them? Your mind always asked that, even if the guy was just a friend, a literal friend and nothing more, Simon crept into your head. 

His childhood memories, being told to you, maybe it was for sympathy or maybe it was to make you think he wasn't the cold-hearted man who made you cry on Valentine's Day. "Simon! Do you not understand how rude and mean that was?!" Your heart was stabbed by his actions on that day. "R/N, you are being dramatic!" A gift that you went out of your way for in the hands of a woman who is supposed to be a best friend of yours. Two people were lied to this day, you and the naive of your best friend. "I did it, it was for you! when I made it, my mind went to you! Gosh Simon, why can't you see how rude this was!" He walks to you, hands gripping your body. "You are acting like a goddamn child R/N!" He shook you, thinking it would make you understand better. "I'm not the one dating someone young now am I?" The anger that left your mouth, oh that sent him over the edge. "Don't you fucking dare!" he said through gritted teeth. "I'm still growing, you are a grown man who doesn't even think for a moment that your fucking girlfriend did something for you! I did that and that fucking girl thinks you did it for her!" You push him and he gives you that stare. The same one your father gave you when he was made and was ready to yell and punch walls. 

Three weeks later, that is how long it took you to do it. "I'm being serious Simon, it's over." Your voice is cold and he scoffs with a low chuckle. "Aren't you too young to make the decisions here, doll?" That voice, how he gave you a condescending tone and how he approached you. "I think I'm more mature than you to know this is wrong. Me loving you is wrong and it's dead...this is over." He shakes his head and walks away furious. For weeks he called you, maybe to haunt you but every time you answered, it was the same old thing. Random numbers during class, lunch or at night called you. When they stopped, you sighed and for the first time, you smiled, a genuine one. 

The day you broke up with him was still fresh on your mind. He was a strong man, that is no doubt, so if he wanted to, he could harm you so easily. Your friend theorised that he could make you disappear, all to keep the pretty little young lover near. It is true what they say, there will always be a reason men like him stay alone for long. There's a reason why they date younger ones and not women who know best. Sometime later, that best friend approaches you, unaware of what happened between you and Simon. 

"He told me what happened." But he told her lies, told her that it was you that was the problem. After she gave you his truth, you gave her the real truth. "So...the...gift, it wasn't really from him-" "No, and I'm not asking for anything back, not at all. Just, be careful, he...he isn't the man he says he is and please...please for your own sake stay away." That same day, you found out he asked me to meet up. I thought he meant as friends, since well I thought I was his friend." She wouldn't do it, you thought. "And at first I was okay with it until he kept asking over and over. I felt weird about it because it didn't seem like it would be a friendly meet-up, I said no, out of respect for you." You hugged her. "I know he was asking to hook up but I can't do that, not to my best friend." she hugged back and you two soon talked more. 

Simon, oh that man was a mess. He soon engaged when your young heart was still grieving him behind doors. His fiance tagged people you knew, those people, some, told you he moved on. This was a game plan. Tell the young lover what was lost and maybe, they'll come running to you. It hurt but it didn't work. You noticed how happy he was. How much more he changed and in your head, you asked why he couldn't change for you. You look at the lovers that pass by, how the guy treats his girl and for a moment, you wish that was you. 

Memories come every night. 

Winter. No one knew how your heart felt for him but he did. His body is close to yours as he wraps you with the blanket, he kisses your shoulder and smiles. The art of making love was something he was an expert in. 

Summer. He takes you on midnight rides. Holds your hand and sings along with you. Your hair is in the wind as his lips meet your hand. Simon, the man who taught you so much now making you cry on the way home. 

Autumn. Your dad heard your cries as Simon explained to you why he wouldn't go to you. A woman moans on his side of the phone, "it was the movie," he explains so easily. 

Spring. Filled with arguments, tears and sex. Manipulation works its way to your body. "Fuck you!" You cry as he yet again reminds you that you are young and stupid. He degrades you this way. Reminds you that he has the upper hand for being older than you. 

You later learn he had another girl while being with you. His free time is shared between you and some other girl. Your bed is drenched in tears of regret and sorrow. The headphones blasted the words your heart cried for. 

For moments, he was liberty, fun, happiness and love. Now, when you look back at it, Simon Riley was the man who lived as the dragon of the castle, the one you had to fight off to regain your heart. You hated him for what he was. Your heart, body and soul kept him like a sword oath. The same one that had you overthinking. Did you ask for too much? Were you even a good girlfriend? 

Get out of my head, you cry. "If we had been closer in age, maybe you would understand what I wanted." He texts you some random day. That night, your friends held you as you cried in some bar. The last time you saw him was on your twenty-first birthday. Your mum asked for something from the store, so as you walk down the busy streets, your eyes catch a glimpse of him. His gaze catches yours. It was then you learned that this would be the last time you cry over him. He is dead to you, something to be proud of. 

It was then he learned you were the only good thing he had. His ex-fiance out of his life, just like you but unlike her, you were good. 

"Simon!" Your laughter fills the lounge room. "I told you, doll, this is what you get for that tickle," Simon's deep laugh belonged to yours. It's a melody. The fireplace, the laughs, the kiss after and how you both panted from an intense tickle fight. It was rare but beautiful. You cup his face, "I love you," you whisper and he grins. "oooh I knew it!" he picks you up again and you laugh. 

This is the end of the warm time

As you walk past the park, you think of the old times. It is bittersweet. The way things ended, the way he loved you, kissed you, it was good until it wasn't. Simon Riley is a man on many faces, one you know all too well. 

Love, what a miserable thing to be a part of when you had him. 

A/N: so....there's that...

Tags: @liyanahelena @dilfgestivo @bobthe-turmpetman29 @kylie-7 @sharkyyyyyyyyyyyy @idkbbyx3 @goldenmclaren @ghostslillady @moonsua1 @rvivienner @krinoid24 @istillcantfindausername @iruzias @frazie99 @spicypicklesoh @viomast @saoirse06 @vampsquerade @undercover-smutlover @juneonhoth @tiredmetalenthusiast @jinxxangel13

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[ghostofvalorie]

That Essay

@forsaire tagged me and now I MUST provide! You opened Pandora's box on this one.

To adhere to the rules I will first provide FOUR and ONLY FOUR of my fictional crushes! And to make it easier on us all I've narrowed it down to games only, so here we go!

I'm starting off from the very beginning of my journey into crushing on non-existent people, and people who have read my tags before might know this one already!

Malik Al Sayf from Assassins Creed 1 - 2007

A man whom you've wrong by being arrogant and then spends the next few hours of the game being yelled at by him, and rightfully so. Not only do you cost him his arm and place as an assassin in the brotherhood, but his younger brother as well.

Eventually Altaïr stops begin a prick and apologizes and Malik, bless his heart forgives him.

Still... not me rolling into Jerusalem hoping, wishing, to get yelled at because Malik's Voice Actor goes HARD <3 I love him and his 7 whole polygons! NEXT!!

Keeping it somewhat chronological:

The Arishok from Dragon Age 2 - 2011

He beeg. He got horns. He is technically an antagonist in the game but he has a moral code that makes sense to him that he is willing to kill and die for. Qunari famously live their lives incredibly black and white so to him he is in the right, even if we disagree.

But he just got a wholeass vibe, and he'll say nice things such as

"I have a growing lack of disgust for you" and I mean, with that voice... say no more sir. *takes shirt off*

NR 3: Adam Jensen from Deus Ex - 2011-2016

My cyborg husband <3

Ex-swat turned security guy, then interpool agent (depends on which game you are playing)

He's just an incredibly good guy, the sweetest person on the block. Ofc it depends on how you play and what choices you make, but MY Adam is a sweeheart that will go out of his way to help people.

And my boi got sass, he'll be snarky to literally anyone, his boss, the cops, criminals you name it.

He's also secretly a little funny. <3

Nr 4: Arthur Morgan from Red Dead Redemption 2 - 2018

I mean first off, he do a little *mlem* when he drinks coffee... Do i even need to say more?

Arthur is just such a perfect sad boy. Raised to believe his only worth lies in killing people when in reality he is incredibly competent, sharp and caring. Again depends on how you play the game, but my Arthur is the goodest boi in the west.

Now that was four, oh but look, somehow completely unrelated to all this, some other honorable mentions seems to have ended up after the cut, how silly of me!

And @xintothewoodswegox, show us what you got!

Beast from Beauty and the Beast - 2017

No further comment, your honor, if you've seen the movie you should know.

Kaidan Alenko from Mass Effect - 2012

How can we not love the powerful nerdass space magician! He's caring, he is cute, he is Canadian and schrodinger's person of color!

He also glow blue, what else can you possible want? I for sure do NOT kick my feet and twirl my hair anytime he wants to talk to me.

Eris Goddess of Chaos from Sinbad - 2003

I MEAN LOOK AT HER?!?!?!? Again an antagonist, but she is sexy about it.

Helga Sinclair from Atlantis - 2001

I'm-I i mean, I don't even have words. Every time I SEE Helga my brain flat-lines I can't help it.

THAT GIF THO???

Majima Goro from the Like a Dragon series of games

No comment, because if i start i will NEVER stop, he's story is too good.

Simon 'Ghost' Riley from Call of Duty MWII - 2022

I could literally put ALL the characters from that game in this list. ALL OF THEM, but to keep this somewhat short I've chosen ONE and i've chosen Ghost, the most tragic man alive.

Kar'niss from Baldur's Gate 3 - 2023

Another TRAGIC boi, missunderstood and abused </3 I could take care of him. LET ME TAKE CARE OF HIM LARIAN

Jonathan Reid from Vampyr - 2018

You didn't think I'd squeeze in a vampire this late, did you?

I wasn't overly impressed by Jonathan from the start, BUT, he is FASCINATING if you play him as a bloodthirsty villain willing to murder everyone for power! I'm here for bad-boy Reid!

Lastly, for now:

Corvo Attano from Dishonored - 2012

Also an incredibly tragic man, who's fate you hold in your hands with your actions!

He's just hot, he's a dilf, he can succumb to grief and violence or rise above it to save not only his daughter but an entire empire from destruction.

I'm not sure i've y'all have noticed the pattern yet but let me spell it out for you:

PEOPLE THAT CAN ABSOLUTELY DESTROY ME! Look at them all! So STRONG! So POWERFUL! Fuck, mess me up fam!

And the beauty lies in that they never would. Or I mean Eris might... but I'm in a firm belief that the others would never harm someone they care about and ain't that just the purest thing you've ever heard.

Now this was only the highlights of my fictional crushes, I've kept most of the absolute freaks out for now. Maybe I'll do an updated list later where werewolves and Cthulhu makes the cut, we'll see. Now I know HP Lovecraft wasn't a very cool dude to say the least, but you expect me to be normal about the big tentacle monster? REALLY?

Lower your expectations.

[gazs-blue-hat]

Gaz’s Blue Hat  Masterlists and introduction! (Please Read Me!)

Hello! I’m Val, or “the hat”. I love the CoD universe and have watched play throughs of most of the games. At the moment, I’m only writing for 141 and possibly other main characters throughout the story.

If you do not have your age in your bio, you’re getting blocked. I’m sorry but this is an 18+ blog. I don’t feel comfortable with minors interacting with my things.

Another thing. I will write rough topics. I’ve struggled with Suicide, Self Harm, Sexual Abuse, Addiction and many other vices. I feel like there (rightfully) is a lot of hesitation to write these topics. However, I find comfort in stories. Of course I’ll put trigger warnings on every piece I do, but I want to let you know that you’re seen and you’re heard. Final thing and I'll stop my rambling, I promise. I won't tolerate hate here. I do my best to stay educated on things and thus, this is a safe place for people to ask questions and learn about things they might not know about. Be kind folks.

Key: 

💖-Fluff

🪄 -Silly

🩸-Whump

☠️-Angst

❤️‍🔥-Smut

Series

-Fair Winds and Following Seas- Simon Riley x Reader (Tempest) 

Read on Ao3: Here!

Chapter 1: Pilot

Chapter 2: The Winding Road of Introductions

Chapter 3: The Calm Before the Storm

Chapter 4: Speed of Sound (Wip)

Glacial Tides- King!Johnny MacTavish X Siren!Reader

Masterlist Found Here!

--------------------------------------- Small Town UA- Hiatus

-Sunflowers and Shotguns (Small Town UA)- Soap x Reader (Lamb) 💖🩸

Welcome

Southern Hospitality

Around the Fences

Air Pressure

Tornado Sirens (Wip)

Toxemia (wip)

-Injections and Ivermectin (Small Town UA)- Ghost X Reader (Tens)💖

Moos Malady 

Like Little Railroads

Riley and Riley (Wip)

Concussion (Wip)

CPR (Wip)

Fireplace (Wip)

-Books and Bombshells (Small Town UA)- Gaz x Reader (Keys)

Books Bring Us Together

WPM (Wip)

Dewy Decimal System (Wip)

Movie night (Wip)

Kickstarter (Wip)

Dog-earing (Wip)

-Waves and Warfare (Small Town UA)- Price X Reader (Skip)

Captain to Captain

Come a little closer (Wip)

Kate Kate Kate (Wip)

High Seas (Wip)

Depth Charge (Wip)

Songs of the Deep (Wip)

-TF141 and the WSM- (Small town UA blurbs)

Wear the hat, ride the cowboy 🪄

Beware the Wave Soaked Maidens (Wip)

---------------------------------------

Dungeons and Dragons AU (All characters have three parts)

Seeing isn’t everything (Kyle “Gaz” Garrick X F!Reader) (Medusa)

Pt. 1

Pt. 2

Pt. 3

Songs across Seafoam (Johnny “Soap” MacTavish X F!Reader) (Siren) (Wip) 💖🩸❤️‍🔥

Pt. 1

Pt. 2

Pt. 3

Shapes in the Mists (Simon “Ghost” Riley X F!Reader) (Changeling) (Wip) 💖☠️❤️‍🔥

Pt.1

Pt.2

Pt.3

Curls of Smoke and Embers (Captain John Price X F!Reader) (Dragon) (Wip) 💖☠️🩸❤️‍🔥

Pt.1

Pt.2

Pt.3

--------------------------------------- One Shots

Captain John Price 

Left Behind ( Wip) 💖🩸

Yours to command ❤️‍🔥

Wedding ring (blurb)❤️‍🔥

Cherry stem (blurb) mild❤️‍🔥

Bad day (blurb) 💖

Simon “Ghost” Riley

Potent Poisons and Precious Passions (Fem!Reader) 💖❤️‍🔥

Loving Something So Broken (Gn!Reader)☠️💖

Forged in Blood, Bonded by Steel (wip) 💖❤️‍🔥

Hearts Do Mend ☠️💖 (Slight❤️‍🔥)

Cherry Stem (blurb) mild❤️‍🔥

Tags (Blurb) ❤️‍🔥

Bad day (Blurb) 💖

Johnny “Soap” MacTavish 

Whispers in the Night (Wip) 💖❤️‍🔥

Domestic Bliss (wip) ❤️‍🔥💖

Cherry Stem (blurb) mild❤️‍🔥

Desperate (Blurb) ❤️‍🔥

Bad Day (Blurb) 💖

Talking you Through it (Blurb) (Capt. MacTavish) ❤️‍🔥

Headboard (Blurb) (Capt. MacTavish) ❤️‍🔥

Kyle “Gaz” Garrick

Passing Notes 💖

Cherry Stem (blurb) mild❤️‍🔥

Natural Remedy (Blurb) ❤️‍🔥

Bad Day (Blurb)

Paperwork Shmaperwork 💖

Alex Keller

K.I.A to C.I.A (Wip)💖❤️‍🔥

Konig

Love on the Battlefield (WIP)💖❤️‍🔥

Keegan P. Russ

Rupert’s Drop (WIP) 💀🩸

No Nut November (Blurb) ❤️‍🔥

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Blurbs

No Pairings, just brainrot

What really happened at the end of MWIII

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

🩸Whumptober🩸

Intro (Please Read)

Character taking care of Reader Whumptober list

Reader taking care of Character Whumptober list

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Reblogged Masterlists

These will be complete lists of everything I have ever reblogged about these characters. I don't like the Tumblr Tagging system to look through my stuff so I made my own list like this. I'll be going backwards from present day to the very start of this blog (June)

(11/5/2023 update): I'm working hard on linking and sorting everything I have reblogged. I have organized up to October. Everything that has yet to be linked will have the tag 'To Be Linked' on it. Feel free to rummage through the bins while I get my books on a shelf. Thank you for your support!

Simon "Ghost" Riley

Johnny "Soap" MacTavish

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick

John Price

All Others /Multiple

[writingbylee]

hi hello i think it’s time that i actually introduce all of my OCs? because i truly have so many and i never actually talk about half of them. so below you will find all my OCs! along with short bullet point explanations of their characters. if they have an OC sheet, that’ll be linked— as well as any fic i have posted about them. i’ve also included links to my vibes page (@vibesforlee) where i’ve got tags for each of my OCs.

Fandoms Below Include: Star Wars, A Song of Ice and Fire, Percy Jackson, Marvel, Chronicles of Narnia, Critical Role, Avatar The Last Airbender, and Top Gun: Maverick

so uhhhh yeah i hope this is helpful for at least my own brain but also anyone else who is interested!

dividers by: @saradika-graphics

banners by: me

Lyra Amidala Naberrie

General Knowledge

Younger sister of Padme Amidala

Jedi Healer during the Clone Wars

Served as Medic General of the 104th Legion, Chief Medical Officer of the 104th Company known as the “Wolfpack”, and as Medic General of the 501st Legion

Fic: @abandoned-by-destiny

Vibes

House of the Dragon

Aemma Velaryon Targaryen

General Knowledge

Firstborn child to Rhaenyra Targaryen and Laenor Velaryon, before Laenor’s premature death three years after the marriage

Older sister to Jacaerys Targaryen Strong, Lucerys Targaryen Strong, Joffrey Targaryen Strong, Viserys Targaryen Strong, and Visenya Targaryen Strong

Bonded to the dragon Vermithor

Vibes

Game of Thrones

Lyanna Stark

General Knowledge

Eldest child of Catelyn and Ned Stark (by approximately seven minutes)

Twin sister to Robb Stark; believed half-sister of Jon Snow; older sister to Sansa Stark, Arya Stark, Bran Stark, and Rickon Stark

bonded to a red and brown direwolf called Scarlet Shadow

Fic: screaming from a crypt

oc blog: @princess-lyanna-stark

Vibes

Ceara Murphy

General Knowledge

daughter of Neptune and Emma Murphy, a legacy of Fortuna and daughter of Irish immigrants living in Portland, Oregon

inherited the power from her father to start earthquakes, and eventually manipulate seismic waves into concentrated blasts

brought down Mount Othrys after helping Jason Grace kill the Titan Krios

one of the demigods of the prophecy of Nine

Vibes

Emmalee Miller

General Knowledge

inherits the spirit and powers of the mythical Scarlet Witch when Wanda Maximoff is killed during her torture and experimentation at The Raft prison

is brought in by SHIELD after her powers emerge, and is initially assumed to be an Inhuman— and is therefore recruited by Daisy Johnson to join her Secret Warriors

Vibes

Edme Pevensie (female!Edmund Pevensie)

General Knowledge

Younger sister to Peter and Simon Pevensie, older sister to Lucy Pevensie

gains the power to manipulate ice and water after being stabbed with the shattered wand of The White Witch during The First Battle of Beruna

is crowned as High Queen Edme the Just, alongside her siblings; High King Peter the Magnificent, King Simon the Gentle, and Queen Lucy the Valiant

returns to Narnia twice after The Golden Age, both times to assist Prince, later King, Caspian the Tenth

Fic: A Reminder

Vibes

Campaign 1: Vox Machina

Alythea Vance

General Knowledge

Level 1 Druid/Level 11 Cleric (Death Domain) when hired by Vox Machina

is hired by Vox Machina to be their temporary healer/cleric during their mission to Whitestone, after Pike Trickfoot leaves on her vision quest

helps liberate the town of people of Whitestone, and returns to Vox Machina after the arrival of the Chroma Conclave in Emon

Vibes

Campaign 2: Mighty Nein

Kara Dean

General Knowledge

Level 7 Bard (College of Valor) when she meets the Mighty Nein

is Captain Avantika’s first mate/navigator when the Mighty Nein meet up with Avantika after stealing The Mist in Nicodranus

betrays Avantika and helps the Mighty Nein steal her journal

leaves The Revelry and Darktow with the Mighty Nein after The Plank King kills Avantika

Vibes

Xia Beifong

General Knowledge

Older sister to Toph Beifong, and heir apparent to the Beifong fortune

a nonbender who has trained extensively in swordplay

assists her younger sister in escaping, both to the fighting ring and to leave with the Avatar

in retaliation, is essentially sold by her father into marriage to the much older Earth King in Ba Sing Se

Vibes

Major Taylor Gardner

General Knowledge

28 year old Marine pilot

first Marine to ever be allowed to attend Top Gun, and the youngest female aviator to ever win Top Gun

callsign “Wasp”; due to the fifth generation fighter, colloquially called a Stinger, that she stole while escaping the uranium enrichment plant after being undercover there for several weeks obtaining vital intel

fic: Hangman and The Wasp

Vibes

[frogish-person]

hello from tiddygame’s main lmao

i’m partial to "in somnis veritas" but i think you should talk about the dragon soap au. like a lot. like as much as you are willing to/have the energy to divulge :D

-Simon Riley’s Ass Guy

[also the most recent sentence i wrote is like 40 fucking words long 0д0]

Ah, hello Main.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OKAY

So the first chapter is mostly an introduction to the story and world itself more than the characters, although it does establish some Price and Soap backstory (Featuring Price before The Bucket Hat and The Beard as well as suds before he got his callsign <3).

Chapter 2 will bring the team to light and to life, although a certain someone is missing.

Honestly, I'm not sure how to wrap it into the story yet so here's a fun dragon detail for this world!

When a dragon hatches, it is sexless. It remains that way until the ages of 5-6, and the sex it develops is relative to the population of the other three sexes to maintain a balance of the three. If a significant amount of one sex dies, then some from the other two will shift their sex to balance it out again.

There are three sexes in dragons:

the ones with external sex organs would be related to male

the ones with internal sex organs would be related to female

the ones without sex organs are non reproductive(There are plenty more details regarding these ones)(you should definitely ask me about that)

And thank you for the vote for the title!

[simonjadis]

Deepstalkers in Dragon Age: The Missing #1

[tuxedo-rabbit]

Playing Legacy when both siblings are dead is so lonely.

Hawke doesn't even seem 100% sure it's Malcolm's voice till the end. If you're a mage it's especially painful bc Malcolm says he hopes you wont turn out to have magic.

Just. Man. Hawke really has no one to talk to about it all in this version of events.

At least Varric asks if you're ok.

[servantofclio]

Dragon Age fic: The Tyranny of Morning Meetings (Dorian/Inquisitor)

Yet another fic getting cleaned up and posted to AO3, and I thought I'd post it again here as well. Had to come up with a title for something that was originally just a prompt-fic.

Dorian was not only awake for this blasted morning strategy meeting, he was actually early. This was a mark of something, though he hadn’t made up his mind what. Newfound responsibility? Dedication to the cause? Simply the fact that he’d fallen asleep over his books early the night before, rather than reading by magelight into the still hours of the night?

Whatever the cause, the entire experience felt profoundly novel, as if Dorian had gone and become a new man, one who embraced the chill of the morning air, so long as it also brought sunshine and singing birds and all that rot.

… ah, perhaps he hadn’t entirely become a new man after all.

He was, however, early enough to catch the Inquisitor heading toward the council room, alone. Dorian’s heart quickened along with his steps as he made to intercept him. It was a rare opportunity for a private word or two, at this early hour, with people only starting to stir and most of those awake still at breakfast.

A week ago, even, Dorian might have held back, mindful of watchful eyes and chattering tongues. That was before the Inquisitor had made clear what he thought of such talk, thoroughly discomfiting the disapproving Revered Mother. Before they’d taken their game of flirtation a step further and lent truth to those scurrilous rumors. Before Dorian had made so bold as to kiss the man, at last. The Inquisitor. Trevelyan. Simon, since Dorian had utterly failed at keeping his distance, no matter how good his intentions had been.

“Good morning,” Dorian sang out now, once he was drawing close enough for conversation.

Simon stopped short and turned toward Dorian, a smile already breaking over his face. “Good morning, yourself. I’m surprised to see you about so early.”

“I’m perfectly capable of rising early,” Dorian said haughtily.

“Far be it from me to suggest otherwise. You’re generally a quarter-hour late to morning meetings, that’s all.”

Dorian couldn’t deny the truth of that. “I’m merely signaling my disapproval. Morning meetings are detestable. Can’t you use your Inquisitorial authority to move all strategy sessions to a civilized time like afternoon?” He waved his hand around at thegreat hall vaguely, encompassing the idea of authority.

Simon snorted. “And ruin Josephine’s detailed daily schedule? I wouldn’t dream of it. Besides, Cullen and Cassandra would have conniptions.” He started off toward the council room, Dorian falling into step beside him.

“I knew that habit of early rising you’d developed was a bad one,” Dorian said.

They passed through the door into the corridor, and Simon paused. “Why, Dorian, you’re not attempting to use that undue influence over me, are you?”

“And what if I were?” Dorian countered. That playful tone of voice had a deeper undercurrent, one that he’d quite happily allow to carry him away.

“You might have to give me a better reason,” Simon said, his voice low.

For once Dorian found himself without an immediate rejoinder. They stood, side by side, Simon’s eyes warm and serious in spite of his smile, and Dorian’s imagination was quite carried away, indeed, fueled by the memory of that kiss. He was no blushing youth, to let one kiss make him weak in the knees, and yet it had, unleashing the storm of fantasizing he’d barely been keeping in check over the last few months. “I’m certain I can come up with a better way to spend amorning,” he retorted, a beat too late.

“Mmm.” Simon smiled, sly and full of promise. “I’m sure you can.”

He looked altogether too pleased with himself, as they started down the hall again. He’d hardly even done anything, and yet Dorian was entirely off-balance, not at all the way he preferred things. Striking out in search of advantage, he said, “I had a dream about you, last night.”

Simon’s steps faltered as he shot Dorian a quick, startled glance. “Did you now?”

“A good one,” Dorian added, satisfied with the response. Let him not be the only one whose imagination was running out of control.

“Do tell,” Simon breathed, turning again to face Dorian.

“I would,” Dorian said — in fact he only half-remembered the dream, but what he did remember was promisingly filthy. “—but there’s this morning meeting, I hear.”

The dawning, wide-eyed outrage on Simon’s face gave Dorian all the satisfaction hecould have wished for. This was nearly worth waking early for. He smirked back, counting himself victorious.

“You’re an appalling person,” Simon informed him.

“I’m well aware,” Dorian said. “And yet you associate with me anyway —”

“So I do,” Simon said, and stepped in to kiss Dorian before Dorian could say another word.

The kiss was swift and soft, rather on the chaste side, and yet Dorian’s first flash of thought was alarm, as Cassandra or Cullen or Josephine or anyone might come trooping into the corridor at any moment. As if he’d sensed the thought, Simon broke it off quickly, leaving Dorian with only the barest taste.

No, that wouldn’t do at all. Dorian leaned in before Simon had retreated more than half a step, for a proper kiss. His heart pounded, listening with half an ear for any sign of footsteps approaching the door, but he made it a kiss worth having anyway: deeper, lingering, a little thrill running down the back of his neck.

He pulled back as soon as he perceived voices growing louder. He took an entire step back, in fact, and they both stood still, eyes fixed on each other, for the space of a heartbeat or two. Dorian felt entirely out of clever words, and more than a little out of breath.

Then the door swung open, admitting an entire cohort of Inquisitorial advisers, half of them already debating what they were intended to be discussing for the next hour. “There you are, Inquisitor,” Cullen called out, and Dorian took another step back. He fell in with the tide of people as it caught up with them, and pretended not to notice Leliana’s inquisitive gaze.

[cosmic--dandelion]

So how did we get from this

To this?

Let's talk about the history of Beelzebub!

Beelzebub is strongly associated and indeed often conflated with Baal, a Hellenistic era pagan god worshipped everywhere from the Canaanite city of Ekron to Greece (where he was known as Belus) to Egypt as far back as 1400 BCE. He is first mentioned in the Books of Kings (2 Kings 1:2–3, 6, 16) as Ba'al-zəbûb, meaning "Lord of the Flies" in Hebrew, a possible corruption of "Lord of the High Place" meant to denigrate the deity after he was appropriated and repurposed as a false god, then a demon. Baal worship was extremely difficult for the early Christians to stamp out, so they basically stole other people's mythology and used it as a free idea bucket to fill out the Bible's rogues gallery.

While it's true that in some Ugaritic texts, Baal is depicted as expelling flies and causing sickness, he was still held in high esteem in ancient Canaan and Phoenicia as a powerful deity who controlled the sun, storms, and fertility and who defeated Mot, the god of death and the underworld. The ancient world could get pretty scatological at times! After all, one of Beelzebub's contemporaries, the Egyptian sun god Ra, was often depicted as a dung beetle, then a prominent symbol of rebirth.

Some scholars think he might have even been the same god! Beelzebub seems to have been the ancient world's go-to demon because the name has been used interchangeably with everyone from Lucifer, Satan, and even Hades in some gnostic texts.

Unfortunately, we don't have much information about Beelzebub's pre-Christian origins other than some iron age ruins in what is now modern day Israel that suggest his temples were decorated with little golden flies, which is pretty neat.

Interestingly, Jesus himself was accused of being a worshipper of Beelzebub multiple times in the New Testament. Maybe the Pharisees were projecting?

Throughout the Middle Ages, Beelzebub reappeared again in the Lantern of the Light (where he was associated with the sin of envy), De Occulta Philosophia, Princes of Hell, and other demonology texts. 16th-17th Century French Inquisitor Sébastien Michaelis elevated him to the rank of fallen angel in his book The Admirable History of Possession and Conversion of a Penitent Woman: Seduced by a Magician that Made Her to Become a Witch, translated to English in 1613. It was around this time Beelzebub started to become strongly associated with witchcraft. Michaelis should know; he burnt over 14 women accused of being witches!

Unsurprisingly, his name came up repeatedly during the Salem witch trials.

Beelzebub and fellow demons new and old bounced all over different classifications of demons during the 1500s and 1600s. In John Milton's epic poem Paradise Lost, first published in 1667, Beelzebub was part of an unholy trinity consisting of him, Lucifer, and Astaroth. Occultist Johan Weyer decreed that Beelzebub was the Emperor of Hell, having led a successful revolt against the devil. German theologian Peter Binsfield described him as the Prince of Gluttony in his 1589 Treatise on Confessions by Evildoers and Witches. Before that, he was associated with Envy, then Pride.

We even have his personal signature! (At least according to the Grand Grimoir, an anonymous text on black magic of unknown origin)

Beelzebub's physical appearance is even more diverse. He's been depicted as everything from a leopard, a feminine man as tall as a tower, a snake, a calf with a fly's face to...whatever the literal hell this is:

"'dressed like a bee and with two dreadful ears and his hair painted in all colors with a dragon's tail"

Jacques Albin Simon Collin de Plancy (1793 – 1881)'s Dictionnaire infernal was among the first to depict Beelzebub literally as a fly. No duck feet, no lion's mane. Just a fly.

Still better than this.

As Plancy was a skeptic influenced by Voltaire, the book was first intended as a folklore compilation but was later modified to fit with Roman Catholic theology after he converted, much to the consternation of his admirers. Many of his lurid illustrations later appeared in S. L. MacGregor Mathers's edition of The Lesser Key of Solomon...for better or for worse.

Put Adrammelech in Helluva Boss you cowards.

So basically, Beelzebub has been a public domain character since before King Tut was laid in his golden sarcophagus, and people have been just making shit up about him for millennia. What's your favorite depictation of Beelzebub? This is mine:

Nothing beats 2nd Edition Dungeons & Dragons artwork.

[kerubimcrepin]

Episode 9: The Legendary Unikron

The post where I finally make the naming format of this blog more sane

This is the same place as the one, where in the episode "Heads for no Tails" it will be revealed that Kerubim obtained the legendary, life-draining Heads for no Tails restraint while pissdrunk. Y'know. The one meant for an Ondine created by Djaul to trick the dragon Aguabrial into creating a Dofus.

Yeah, I will not think too much about the fact that it is flipped. To me, they're The Same Place. I guess he's been drinking here for decades. Kind of cute.

And yeah I guess it means the Ondine named Ondine, from the episode Like a Snapper in the Water is literally just named "Siren the Siren". I guess her mermaid parents weren't very creative. I'll mention this when I liveblog that episode too, but I would feel bad, if I didn't mention this here too.

We will talk about my feelings on Kerubim leaving the legendary demon-killing life-draining shackles somewhere Joris, in his shelf-climbing corridor-running wisdom, could reach, later.

We'll get there when we get there.

Glad to know there's a reason Kerubim and Joris live in a bad neighborhood. And that reason is that Kerubim wouldn't be tolerated anywhere else.

Love his scary and off-putting behaviours.

Okay, rant incoming:

Firstly, this is a customary french drink bowl, to stop any wondering from the non-french aware readers. It's normal for French people to drink coffee, milk, and tea from a bowl, soup-style, in the morning and in the evening. So this part is normal.

Now onto more sillywhacky part of this: What the fuck is Joris doing here, exactly?

As we can see, his Bowl of Liquid is steaming even before he starts pouring the chocolate milk into it. Is he adding chocolate milk to hot milk? Is he adding chocolate milk to cocoa or hot chocolate? (I will fight people who don't differentiate between them, they're two different things, you heathens.)

Is he, mayhaps, adding it... to tea?

We will never know, yet the question is haunting.

Interestingly, it seems that one of Simone's jobs around the house is polishing swords. Also, her being here so late means that, quite predictably, she is a live-in maid.

(You can see that like, 50% of this blog is me paying to random details that could only be useful in like, extremely faithful fanfiction, and 50% getting whacky with this show's storytelling.)

I love Simone so, so much. Truly, she is Joris's cooler aunt.

No comment besides this image.

Joking. I do have a comment, actually. Imagine me putting on a tinfoil hat here, btw.

I think it's kinda telling that Joris's main fear, the one that re-occurs a multiple times during the show, and always, without fail, makes him break down in tears, is Kerubim dying.

The facts that are important to keep in mind are: They've been living together alone for Joris's entire life, Joris knows he's adopted, and Kerubim himself is an orphan, which he doesn't really hide.

Which leads to multiple conclusions, which all coexist:

1. Joris is a kid who's very aware of the mortality of parents/guardians, and that, above everything else, that he is lucky to have a home and a semblance of family. That if Kerubim wasn't there, he may not have had that.

Which is uh... a pretty stressful thing for a kid his age to know, I suppose!

Especially considering the fact that Kerubim is an old man riddled with back pains, and for 7 years had such a level of post-lou-divorce post-battle-with-julith depression that he could not figure out how to get them into a clean, non-shitty non-hazardous home.

And now that their home IS clean, still can't make it non-hazardous.

2. Joris and Kerubim are much closer than most parents and children, because they literally have no other relatives, and Kerubim has pushed away most people who would consider him a friend in the past. Only relying on one another isn't the best or healthiest idea, but what choice do they have?

You can't just show up at home, be like "i would be dead, if it wasn't for you giving me water, my jojo <3" and not expect to inflict some eldritch horror levels of psychic damage onto your son.

Especially considering the fact, that he KNOWS, from your own shitty stories, that when you're gone, and it IS a when, because you're an old man who's constantly complaining about his health, he's going to be fending for himself all alone.

It's pretty obvious, then, why Joris would put Kerubim on a very high pedestal and, as will be shown later, prioritize the man's feelings over his own. Kerubim is his best friend, his role model, provider, guardian, AND the only one family member he has.

Besides depending on him, Joris knows papycha is a very, very lonely and sad person, — and who is he, not to try and make the life of the one person, who's most important to him, better?

If Kerubim isn't always happy, both in general and with Joris, then that's the worst thing ever, and if Kerubim isn't amazing, all-capable, and Not Going To Die Within The Next Couple Of Years Due To Being Old As Fuck, then their life is Over.

So Joris has to put in a lot of work.

This analysis isn't even picking apart the nitty-gritty of Kerubim being an orphan and having abandonment issues, or the way those things make him latch onto Joris the same way Joris latches onto him — as if this child is his Only Hope and Savior, Who Won't Leave Him Like All The Others.

And how that might lead to him REALLY liking Joris idealizing and putting him on a pedestal, despite the guilt he might feel knowing that that's kind of a... not-good parenting tactic.

...Man this post isn't even a rewatch liveblog anymore, it's just an analysis post, innit? 💀