#Slices is bitchless

[restinslices]

I have an embarrassing amount of lore for my Twilight oc Minnie. I need some bitches

[hor3nee]

• Union •

Gojo and his arranged marriage with Reader.

CW/TW: Fem! Reader, Arranged marriage, BREIF Suggestive stuff, Corny Gojo, Reader & Gojo ages implied to be very young (18-23), Gojo typical flirting, SFW (Lmk if I should add anything else!)

Characters: Gojo x Reader

AN: Gojo is bitchless in this fic bc I say so. Pt 2 here.

Weddings aren't supposed to be this boring. In fairness, boring is better than a bad wedding. Could have a roadhouse-type fight between in-laws, an ex breaking through the doors proclaiming their undying love or a runaway bride. Or a runaway groom. Maybe he should've been a runaway groom? Internally, Gojo's sure it'd be more exciting than sitting in a room full of family and 'friends' who are discussing his marriage more than he's even caring to think of it.

"Congratulations to The Strongest and his bride." Another blanked-out random voice says giving polite blessings to him and the lady dressed in bridal wear beside him, you.

Satoru Gojo, the strongest, they call him, well he calls himself, and yes, he is, he without a doubt is the strongest. Born with the Six Eyes technique after ages of the Gojo clan, while relevant in the Jujutsu world, unable to have a child with such technique for so long, Gojo was instantly hailed heir, no questions asked.

And with all of that, comes responsibilities, that, as immature as the man acts, he does take care of. Responsibilities include many things other than killing curses though, responsibilities include managing the clan, doing his part in Jujutsu society, mentoring the students and keeping peace with the other clans. Just to list the few, less action-based responsibilities. Marriage is an obvious one as well.

And you're the bride.

He knew it was coming. It wasn't specifically because he was the strongest he was gonna be strung into a marriage as quickly as possible, though that played a role in it. He saw it with his parents, relatives, and the other clans, Zenin especially who practiced it most rigidly perhaps, marriage was a necessary part of holding a certain status, it's simply expected. Arranged are ideal.

It's not that he was forced into it either, everyone knows this is Satoru Gojo, he does whatever he wants. He gets whatever he wants, he's spoiled, both by the hands of Jujutsu society that almost worships him for his abilities and his own self, the ego he holds very proudly and very loudly that he shamelessly keeps up. If he wants something, he takes it, if he doesn't, he'll leave. He holds that sort of irrefutable power.

So he's okay with this, with marriage. With an arranged marriage, to you, whatever his reasons are that much is clear.

"You gonna eat that?" He's not asking really, he's already got his freakishly long arm drawled out on the table grabbing the plate out of yours. Fingers wriggling comically and he doesn't even make eye contact, looking at the slice of cake with a deeper passion than he bothered to look at you with. Not that you're expecting it, but.. you are the bride, he is on board.

"..Uh guess not." Is all you can reply, slightly awkwardly as he snatches the slice and gobbles it, humming like an overgrown toddler. Was he feeling as awkward too? He didn't look it, he looked fine, bored out of his over-active mind but not mad or anything. Much less mad at you, nor nervous. You're sat close, right by his side, being the main events the two of you of course, Gojo more so because he's the main event in everything in his life.

"This shit's good." He's moaning now, at cake. Almost makes you cringe but with that huge grin of overabundant confidence he has, he somehow makes it seem less cringe.

"Wedding cake's always good-" He gulps down another piece as he speaks. "Best part of any wedding."

Was that?.. Was that an insult? Felt like it, you're sat there all prettied up prim and proper to marry him, and you know he accepted this marriage and he's calling the cake the best part of the wedding? No, you can't even blame him. If anything you probably agree, save for the overly expensive gifts of cold hard cash the other clans and guests were leaving those were also good parts. Because this is, arranged.

You two, are, for the most part, strangers to each other. Together yes, married actually since you and him signed the legal documents no less than 10 minutes earlier into the wedding.

Still, it's awkward.

Soon the cake is gone, mostly by Gojo's abyss of a stomach, and the guests leave. Caterers clean up and family members give some last tidings before leaving. As well as you, and Gojo.

"So, do you think I'm hot?" He perks, sprawled on the couch with his formal wear lazily pulled off scattering around the floor from when he took it off the instant he was inside the residence. His residence, of course. A grin showing no signs of the tense awkwardness one would expect a young man freshly married to a wife he's only married to through arrangements would be. But no, he's Satoru Gojo, if there's one thing he has, it's an overwhelming amount of self-assurance.

"Do I- Do I think you're hot?" You reply, standing a bit awkwardly in front of him, still trying to process the fact you're sleeping here tonight, no for the rest of your life you'll be sleeping in this house. Home, you should call it, it is your home now. Might take time to properly digest that but it is.

"Yeah, am I hot?" The question is, by his expression, obviously self-explained. He IS attractive, with pretty big blue eyes, tall and decently built, and gorgeous lips too, he knows it, he knows he's hot. Gojo just likes to tease, he's a little shit. 

"I mean, am I attractive to YOU?" He asks again, putting more emphasis. For all the slightly passive-aggressive things he's said the evening and immature behaviour, the question is poised genuinely. He's smirking, humming almost as he asks but the way he looks at you it's also clear that he is asking you, seriously.

His gaze never breaks with yours, and though you only take a second to respond, it feels like an hour with the heavy weight of the situation in your brain and the almost stinging feeling of his wide baby blue bright eyes piercing through yours waiting for your response.

"You... Yes, you are attractive." He is, he knows that already though and that wasn't what he was asking. But you know that wasn't what he asking. His expression doesn't falter though, but there's an obvious disappointment, boredom more specifically in it at your lack of response. You're talking but the words are white paper plain, even you can taste it on your tongue, how chaste you sound. 

"I think you're attractive, too." His reply is more genuine than yours as well, maybe not genuine but a lot more emotion in it. Maybe he's just more confident, which he is no doubt. 

"Thanks-"

"Like, seriously." He whistles, christ that's jarring. "seriously hot." 

He's up off the couch before you can give another disingenuous 'thanks' and standing right in front of you, eyeing you down with little to no attempt to act ceremoniously, which he was showing at least the faintest ounce of at the wedding earlier. That gawky tension of whatever the hell the two of you have going on is back, but not for Gojo. He doesn't even have a semblance of humility in him to feel that tension that's burning inside of you right now.

"We're supposed to like each other, you know." He adds, keeping his eyes trained on your body shamelessly.

It feels like his hands are folded around you but they aren't, they're hanging loosely by his side all dangly as his limbs are, the man is a giant. It's more a feeling, suffocating, as though you've been cornered when you aren't. It's the middle of a decently spaced living room and the front door is unlocked. And Gojo, as devious as his smirk is, would never hold you by the binds of a pressured marriage. If anything, you were almost under the assumption he didn't care for you, or this marriage.

"I guess, yeah." You start. "You like me then?" You finish, a bit bolder now, he's seamlessly talking and you are married now, till death do you part as they say. Might as well match his energy.

"You bet I do, sweetheart." Petnames? Okay maybe too much, he might need to dial it down. But Gojo is Gojo, the strongest, an eccentric man. He doesn't 'dial it down' for anything, or anyone. You're his wife, and he likes what he sees. Smiling as he speaks, genuine and concise in his words, he means what he says. As confusing as this situation is, he is young, he's accepted it, and not begrudgingly at all. "I got me a pretty wife- you, you're my wife, so I like you." 

"Thanks Gojo." Ah, there it is, not disingenuous. Though minimal he picks up on it, you also mean it. Maybe not in the way he means it, maybe more than he means it, who knows, not him. Confident as he says he is with the ladies, he's never actually been with one before, this whole relationship shtick, marriage shtick, is new.

Marriage is built off of love, his elders told him, he saw in shitty rom-coms and pop songs blasting the radio. He'd like that, love, as much immaturity and disregard he’s shown at the wedding, the engagement, the arrangements when he first heard they'd picked a partner for him, it has appeal. And he wants it, and this woman, you, you're going to be the one to give it to him, love. Not today, not tonight. Maybe not in a month or a year, but it'll grow, and fester over time. He's sure, as he is in everything, this marriage will last.

"I'm tired as hell from all that wedding crap," Gojo says, his feet ever so minimally backing off so he isn't smothering you with his presence and wide sapphire-like eyes boring into your understandably unsure eyes. "There's a guest room, I'll sleep there and you can take the main bedroom-"

"I can sleep with you." You cut him off.

"In the guest bedroom??" He questions with a blink, okay so he's a bit stupid. That's okay though.

"No, with you, in our bedroom." You correct him, feeling more assured now, eased by Gojo's, thankfully.

"Right." The cheeky grin is back. Actually, it isn't very annoying anymore, it's kinda attractive. He is attractive that much is sure, but he's starting to be attractive to you. "Let's go sleep in OUR bed then, how's that sound?" 

"Sounds good."

It's oddly domestic, the walk to the bedroom he previously had all to himself, showing you the way, and showing you the bed you're gonna be sleeping in for the rest of your days. The way his slender fingers, which you were almost sure would poke out your eyes, gracefully helped you dissemble the layers of jewelry and fabrics you were dolled up in. His touch was feather-light, in stark contrast to his smug demeanour, making it clear, the boy has never undressed a lady.

Nothing goes further than that though, he doesn't push for anything more, and considering how new and confusing everything still is, you don't either. Instead choosing to lay back, and shut your eyes beside Gojo, letting exhaustion overtake you both and just sleep for the night.

Sleep beside your husband.

[bee-the-loser-recs]

☼ My Dino/Chan One-shot Fic Recs ☼

𖤓 Promise ring By @lovelyhan 21k, fantasy royalty au, love triangle, childhood best friends, Prince Joshua, fluff, mutual pining, lots of drama, angst, smut, pressure from the Kingdom, menace Jeonghan, elemental powers

𖤓 Love guard By @tqmies 9.2k, lifeguard au, pining, reader is oblivious, misunderstandings, fluff, dates, one-sided enemies to lovers, whipped Chan, pretend drowning, attempting to catch attention

𖤓 Run to you By @wheeboo 2.7k, motorcyclist Chan, reader has home issues, best friends to lovers, worried about each other's safety, fluff, lil angst, twisted ankle, calling them in the middle of the night

𖤓 Do it already By @bitchlessdino 6.5k, best friend's brother trope, childhood friends to lovers, actor Chan, college graduate reader, fluff, smut, reconnecting, possessiveness, slice of life, yearning

𖤓 Cry baby & Cry for me By @toruro 7.9k & 5.1k, college au, tattoo artist Dino, cry-baby reader, smut, realisation of feelings, fluff, dinner dates

𖤓 The secret language of flowers By @leejungchans 6.5k, florist Chan, tattoo artist reader, fluff, slight angst, reader is originally dating Jeonghan, kind of asshole Jeonghan, break ups, pining Chan

𖤓 Of sticky notes and strangers By @leejungchans 3.8k, college au, leaving sticky notes for your crush, reader calls Chan cute boy, hidden identity, fun plans, fluff, humour, strangers to friends/implied lovers

𖤓 Scored By @leejungchans 12.4k, college au, sports column journalist reader, football star Chan, sort of rivals to lovers, fluff, teasing, humour

𖤓 Distraction, a fatal attraction By @sohnric 7k, college au, strangers to lovers, kind of situationship, drinking buddies & habits, kissing without any expectations, hidden feelings, confessions, fluff

𖤓 Worth a shot By @milfgyuu 1k, unknown au, discussion of bad hair and yearbook photos, teasing, fluff, cute relationships, white lies, humour, drunk conversations

𖤓 Bitchless By @milfgyuu 7.2k, roommates au, Chan is in a bowling league, teasing, sexual tension, fluff, quarantining together, smut

𖤓 Something in the midnight hours By @sluttywoozi 4k, fake dating for an event, best friends to lovers, work party, fluff, actually having feelings, cute moments, fake relationship, romcom, Chan mentions you're his girlfriend to his colleagues

𖤓 Does he know? By @hannieehaee 9.8k, college au, Chan is in love with reader, everyone thinks they should be together, reader has a boyfriend though, break-ups, pining, fluff, smut, falling for him, kind of emotional cheating, flirty Chan

𖤓 In case you didn't know By @shuadotcom 28.8k, 90s au, roommates au, brother's best friend, older reader, past flight attendant reader, fluff, smut, pining, Chan has been in love with reader for years, Vernon is reader's brother

𖤓 Size matters By @onlyseokmins 8.3k, college au, best friends to lovers, just straight up smut, mentions of hook-ups, friend and past hook-up Seungcheol, losers and idiots in love, slight fluff

𖤓 You give good love By @nachojaehyun Idol au, brother's best friend au, Hoshi is reader's brother, summer trip, fluff, smut, long time since they last saw each other, sudden attraction, family dynamics in Svt

[hannie-dul-set]

HOME FOR THE BITCHLESS [5].

SYNOPSIS. wherein your friend offers a room for you to crash in while your dorm is being renovated, but fails to mention that your new housemates don’t know how to talk to women (oh, and they also have an ongoing bet about you, too).

PAIRINGS. choi soobin, choi beomgyu, lee heeseung, park jongseong, sim jaeyun, park sunghoon x female! reader. GENRE. housemates! au, rom-com, sitcom, reverse harem time baby. WARNINGS. swearing, someone cries again, mentions of bullying, mentions of sex. WORD COUNT. 3.9k

TAGLIST. @cerealdreamwriter @tyongff-ff @dinonuguaegi @certifiedmoa @blueberrgyuu0 @primantha @blu3bell4 @nunugget @hoshi-is-ult-bbg @captivq @tocupid @seosalad @ddazed-lhs @gyuszie @mifuyuyo @error-cant-function @twocupsofsuga @flowerbe0m @dangerousconnoisseurbanana @laviesm @keikeu @elavin @chaemmie @rikisly @satsuri3su @gyugyubin @junhuicosmo @skzenhalove @luvkpopp @yansbolobao @emer-syn @eggomi @drunkinjake @soobiverse @deobitifull @haechanspudu @yawnzzn27 @7myoi

NOTE. this is the soobin chapter. before anyone says anything, i also used to be a loser in high school so i am very qualified to write about this. anyway, please let me kmow what you think so far! ty for reading!

MASTERLIST | NEXT >

CHAPTER 5 — staring contest of death.

SOOBIN HAS ENCOUNTERED A PROBLEM. It’s quite a big problem— one that completely ruined his summer morning routine that usually starts at one in the afternoon. But it’s already 2 p.m. right now and he’s still laying on his bed, half of his head peeking out of the blanket as his eyes run over the text he received this morning over and over again from a group chat that’s been dead for a good three years. 

[Shin Jaeyul: hey class of 20XX! met up with jindo and the rest the other day and we thought it would be great if we can all get together again! hope you’ll all be available for the reunion. i’ll send the details after this message but it’s gonna be held at seonghee’s family’s hotel so feel free to bring a plus one lol.]

[Shin Jaeyul: What? ANSAN HS BATCH 20XX REUNION. When? This Saturday, 6:00pm. Where? Chatoyer Hotel, Sapphire Ballroom Function Hall

“Just don’t go, man. It’s not like your attendance is graded.”

When Soobin finally gets the energy to come downstairs to eat, he shows the text to Beomgyu for a second opinion. They’re eating yesterday’s leftovers on the patio outside the dining room. It doesn’t take long for the rest of the boys to congregate on the lounge chairs.

“But a reunion sounds fun!” Jake throws in his opinion. “I met up with my high school buddies at Crown Towers when I went to Melbourne the other day.”

“They weren’t your buddies. They invited you so you can pay for all their drinks and ditch you,” Heeseung tells him.

“Hey, Matthew was there and he was glad to see me.”

“Matthew borrowed eight hundred dollars from you last month and never paid back.”

Jake simply shrugs and snatches a cold slice of pizza from the table. Soobin gives him a look of remorse. “Anyway,” Jay jumps in. “Hyung, you should go if you want to and don’t go if you don’t want to. What do you want to do?”

Honestly, if Soobin can help it, he’d never want to see anyone from his old school ever again. And he’d rather stay at home and watch the latest episode of JJK on Saturday night (and every other night, for that matter). “But...it’s kinda rude if I don’t reply, right?” is what’s holding him back. The group chat has been buzzing every minute, messages of ‘see you there’s’ and ‘I’m so excited’s’ popping up one after the other. Only a few others including him haven’t replied yet. “What excuse should I make?”

“Tell them you have a family reunion to attend,” Sunghoon suggests.

“That’s lame. They’re gonna make fun of him,” Beomgyu scrunches his nose. Sunghoon defends with “what’s so wrong with a family reunion?!” but Soobin is inclined to believe that Beomgyu would be right. He didn’t exactly have a pleasant high school experience.

It’s not that he was actively bullied, or anything. He just didn’t have a lot of friends. And not a lot wanted to be his friend save for the members of the manga club he was in— but that didn’t really contribute to his position in the adolescent food chain. It’s not like he was sociable, either. He still isn’t. He was just lucky enough to get adopted by Beomgyu and managed to get along with the rest of the guys after a good two years of living here.

“Oh, then dude, you have to go!” Beomgyu exclaims. “If you don’t go they’re just gonna talk shit about you still being a loser.”

“I am a loser, though?” he says. 

“Yeah, but you’re tall and good looking and hot and that’s enough to get them to shut the fuck up if you show up and dip after thirty minutes. You know what, give me your phone. I’ll handle this.”

“No, wait—”

Beomgyu snatches the phone from his hands and plops down on the chair right across from him, the other four quickly running over and looking over his shoulders. Soobin’s heart races. This doesn’t seem like a good idea. He is right. It only takes a second before things spiral into disaster.

“Don’t say that. You gotta sound cooler.”

“Dude, that’s gonna get him bullied. Let me do it—”

“Give it to me!”

“You’re all useless, let me take over!”

“Wait, let me make one last revision—”

“No! What are you all doing?!”

When Soobin finally manages to steal his phone back, he nearly passes out when he reads the message he— his friends— just sent to the group chat.

[Count me in. Do I have to wire double the money if I bring my girlfriend? Nevermind, I’ll just send thrice the amount. Thanks :)]

Horror washes over his face. “I added the smiley face,” Jake proudly announces. Holy fuck, he wants to crawl back into his bed and never wake up. 

“Who sent that I’ll be bringing my girlfriend? I don’t have a girlfriend! Why did you say I’ll be bringing my girlfriend?!”

His phone vibrates mid-fit and he’s greeted by a reply saying that they’re so happy he’s coming and they can’t wait to see him again. Soobin is not happy nor is he excited. “We can just get you one,” Beomgyu says, as a matter-of-fact, as if you can just purchase a significant other from a gas station vending machine. His face wrinkles in distress. “When’s the reunion again? Saturday? Jakey, do you have any rich heiresses that can pretend to be Soobin hyung’s fake girlfriend for a night?”

“I’ll call Mirae noona, but hyung, are you alright alright with someone fifteen years old—”

Soobin winces. “Please don’t call her.”

“I can try asking Hina,” says Jay. “I don’t know if she has me unblocked yet, though.”

Heeseung narrows his eyes at him. “Isn’t she your ex?”

“Jay dated someone?” Sunghoon gives Jay a mildly offended grimace. “The fuck? Why don’t I know this?”

“He’s always dating someone. But he also gets dumped after three days so I’m not sure if they even count.”

Before they could further into Jay’s questionable dating history, the conversation gets cut short by a groan from Beomgyu. “Wait. We literally have a girl living with us right now.” His words send a signal into all their ears. It takes a moment for it to settle, and when it does, it’s like a thinly stretched rope snaps in half in the air.

Oh.

Right.

You.

“Are—are you sure about that?” Sunghoon is the first to crack the tension-filled silence. “Don’t we have other options?”

Soobin hears furtive whispering and nodding from Jake that somehow involves your name and the phrase “that’s right, she’s a girl, yes,” but chooses to ignore it and instead starts dreading the near and impending future. “It’d be better if it’s someone Soobin hyung already knows,” Beomgyu replies. “Hyung, what do you think?”

He thinks this is insane and bonkers and absolutely fucking impossible to pull off because he can’t even look you in the eye without sweating his skin off. How in the fuck he supposed to fake date you? To stand next to you? To call you with so much affection in front of numerous people he finds extremely uncomfortable to be with? To look at you? To h—

Oh god. He doesn’t have to hold your hand, does he?

“Hey, I don’t think this is fair. That’d mean Soobin hyung will technically—”

“This won’t count towards the bet,” Beomgyu says, then looks at a now red-faced Soobin. “You don’t mind right?”

Shit, he’d have to, right? But he can’t even look at you without his palms leaking like a faucet and stuttering like a broken machine. This is insane. He can’t do this. He can’t and won’t do this or else he’d actually have a heart attack and die.

“Hyung?”

“Is— is this all really necessary?” he finally sputters out.

They all look at him. “But we already sent the message.”

Right. They did. Soobin’s face falls defeated and he sinks back into the chair. “I’ll go grab her,” Beomgyu announces, and the gazes shift from him to their friend who has now risen from his seat and is walking back into the house because since when was he close enough with you to do that? You two usually bicker and argue and Soobin has seen the murderous intent in your eyes whenever Beomgyu tries to provoke you. Sure, the amount of daily arguments has definitely died down as of late and it’s mostly one-sided now, but if there’s anyone close enough to disturb your weekend for something stupid, it’d be Jake.

But they say nothing about it and watch as Beomgyu disappears inside and comes back out a minute later with you in tow, pulling you into the patio by the arm you as you grumble and groan, begrudgingly forcing your legs to follow him. “Seriously, what do you want? I was having a nice nap, you bastard. Where are you taking me? Hey, answer me. Are you still mad about the—” 

When you finally notice the rest of their presence, you stop complaining.

“What’s this? Are you having a cult meeting?”

Jake greets you with a smile. “Take a seat! We’ll explain everything.”

It’s almost impossible to glean anything coherent when there are five-ish boys talking at the same time, but you seem fine, nodding along to whatever Beomgyu and Jay are currently rambling into both of your years. Soobin grows increasingly worried by the second. “I’m so sorry. You really don’t have to do this.”

He hopes you don’t want to do this. Knowing how you practically terrorized him a few weeks ago for accidentally taking a bite out of your ice cream, you probably didn’t want to deal with him either. Yes. This is good. Soobin can just ignore the group chat and ghost his old classmates on the day of the event, so this is—

“I’m down,” you finally say. 

—what?

“You’re— you’re down?” he stutters out. He must have heard wrong, obviously. Haha, there’s no way you would—

“Yup. It’s this Saturday, right? I’m pretty sure I’ll be free, so it’s cool.”

Well, shit.

He’s fucked.

“Why do I feel like you’ve done something like this before?” Beomgyu shoots you a glare of suspicion. You grin. “Of fucking course you have.”

“Sunoo paid me a pretty convincing fee for me to sit pretty at his sister’s wedding,” you explain before shifting your gaze to Soobin, a smile playing on your lips. His fingernails dig into his palms. “Obviously for Soobin, I’ll do it for free. But we have a problem.”

His eyes flit away not even a second after, chest tightening on the spot.

“Yeah. I think we need to work on that.”

Thus begins the series of daily staring contests between the both of you for the next four days until Saturday. It scares the shit out of him when you bang on his door at random times of the day just to torment him with your very existence. Soobin knows you’re doing this to help him. He knows, he really does, but he’s not very good at maintaining eye contact without his heart racing at an unhealthy rate and without sweating profusely. His longest record has been ten and a half seconds before his face explodes like a volcano.

“I’m sorry. I don’t think this is gonna work.”

Soobin’s muffled voice is weak, red face buried into his palms as you both sit cross-legged on his mattress after another failed staring contest. The rows and rows of anime figurines he has displayed next to his bed are all staring at him in disgusting judgment. It’s now Friday. The reunion is tomorrow, and he can’t even look at you— much less pretend like you’ve been dating for the past six fucking months.

“No! You can do it, Soobin! I believe in you! Let’s try one more time, okay?”

You grab his hands, pulling them away from his face and they settle on his soft blankets, yours over his, and he starts silently freaking out because shit— holy shit, you’re squeezing his knuckles. It’s barely any pressure, but he feels it shooting into his throat like a silver snake choking him with ten pints of venom and that’s not even the worst part because you’ve decided to start looking him in the eye again. 

He rasps out a little noise and tilts his head down to the right. You do the same. He shifts his gaze to the left. You do the fucking same, chasing after his eyes relentlessly like a god damned predator on the hunt and he can feel his palms sweating pathetically into his blanket while you’re still locking them in place.

“Okay,” you breathe out, leaning back and he finally feels the blood circulating into his fingers. “What if we follow Jay’s suggestion instead and have you wear sunglasses the entire time?”

Honestly, it’s about time you gave up on him. 

Your eyebrows are scrunched, deep in thought. Soobin can look at you right now because you’re spacing out and not attacking him with the depth of your stare. He’s not used to attention in general, so something about your pretty eyes with pretty eyelashes and prettily focused expression looking directly at him just renders him completely useless. It’s fine when you’re absentmindedly looking at the posters on his wall, still in the midst of weighing your options. It’s fine because you aren’t focused on him.

“But the event is indoors and in the evening, so that won’t make a lot of sense.” And his composure immediately topples down when you flit your gaze back at him. His breath hitches in his throat. “Soobin, do you have any other ideas?”

He grabs the nearest pillow and squeezes it to his chest. “Do— do we have to do this? Can’t we just show up and leave after ten minutes?” Better yet, he just doesn’t show up at all. But you’ve been putting in so much effort these past few days, so he doesn’t want to cancel out of nowhere.

You frown. “Eye contact is the first step to selling that we’re a real couple! Even if we stay for only ten minutes, they’ll get suspicious if you can’t even look at me,” you tell him. “Soobin, let’s keep trying. C’mon.” 

Soobin is trying. He really is trying his best but one more round and he feels he might actually rupture a brain vessel. “Alright,” you exhale. “Nevermind. We’ll handle it somehow. I’ll head back to my room now so you can rest up. See you tomorrow.”

It takes no time for you to get off his bed and start walking to his door. His stomach sinks, watching your back as you reach out for the doorknob and Soobin feels like he had just disappointed you. 

He moves before his mind can think. Before he knows it, he’s out of the bed and is holding your wrist and pulling your hand away from the door. 

You look at him. He looks at you, drenched in the color of panic and confusion and at the same time a shade of earnest emotion. It stays like this for a good couple of seconds, until your lips curl into a smile and your free arm reaches up to his head, fingers dipping into his hair for a light pat.

“Thirty seconds. Good job. See you tomorrow.”

Now you completely understand why Soobin didn’t want to attend this dumpfest.

The hotel function room is fancy. Truly fancy. But the elegant crystal interiors and decor can’t hide the scent of pretentious obnoxiousness in the air, and the music siphoning through the speakers can’t drown out the sound of shit and crap and trash being exchanged between alleged old friends and classmates. It’s gross. The only saving grace of the night is the wine you’re swirling in your hand, regulating your slowly thinning patience at the scene before you.

“Soobin, buddy! Oh man, I didn’t think you’d make it!”

Here we go again. This is the what— fourth, fifth person? Soobin greets number five with less enthusiasm than the newcomer. He’s already worn out, poor boy. You prepare to intervene when you get an opening.

“Jaeyul,” Soobin says. “Hi.”

“It’s been a while, aye? You look great, man! What’s your glow up secret? You gotta tell men dude.”

Another patronizing comment from a mediocre looking male at best. They’re really lucky Soobin is an angel. You can see the discomfort in his smile when the Jae-something bastard hooks him by the neck, tugging your beanpole down because he’s at least four inches taller than his snotty ex-classmate. He looks even more uncomfortable than the time he got an unsolicited view of your red underwear. If it were you, you would’ve already kneed him in the balls to shut up his endlessly chattering mouth.

The guy’s gaze finally lands on you, tucked quietly behind Soobin’s shoulder. Took him long enough, honestly. You’ve been giving him the nastiest stare you can muster for the past five minutes, it’s honestly amazing that he only noticed now. “Who’s this?” he asks. Now, he’s just blatantly checking out someone else’s (fake) girlfriend. You hold back a scoff, but a sneer manages to slip out.

Soobin straightens, ready to repeat the script he’s been cycling through since the beginning of the night. “O-oh, this— this is—” But he seems to be a lot more nervous now. You decide to take the reins and give him a break.

“I’m his girlfriend,” you give Jae-whatever a smile, stepping forward to hold onto Soobin’s arm, who in return flinches at your touch. “Hi. I hope you don’t mind me intruding on your whole reunion. It’s just that I can’t bear to be apart from my Soobin for too long, you know?”

You’re hoping that your sickeningly sweet tone disgusts the living hell out of him and drives him away, but for some reason he lacks the social awareness to do that. “No, not at all. In fact, completely understand. I’m a taken man myself, you know?” That makes this situation a million times worse. He momentarily shifts away from you and directs his next words to Soobin. “Do you remember Bitna? We started seeing each other a few months ago.”

You can feel him stiffen next to you. “Congrats. I’m happy for both of you.”

“Didn’t you used to have a crush on her? I remember you’d give her chocolates every valentine’s—”

The twitch in his grin doesn’t go unnoticed by you. Alright, enough of this bullshit. You’re done humoring this bastard.

“Oh, sorry!” he turns to you again. “That was tactless of me, oh no. I apologize.”

You press your lips together, still smiling. “It’s fine. I wasn’t really paying attention to the bullshit you’ve been tirelessly spouting. I was wondering when you’d shut your trap and finally fuck off.”

Soobin snaps his head towards you, eyes wide in alarm. His dear old friend looks equally shocked. You hum and maintain your expression, pressing yourself closer to Soobin. “Is Bitna the one looking at us right now? Oh dear.” Shot in the dark, but you hit the mark anyway. “Anyway, if you’ll excuse us. My boyfriend and I will be heading back to our suite now to have absolutely brain-shattering, mind-numbing sex for the rest of the night that you—from the looks of your girlfriend over there— won’t be having for the rest of the week if you’re lucky enough to salvage your relationship. It was nice meeting you!”

You can see Bitna stomping her way over to her boyfriend, carrying a palpable dark force in her wake, so you quickly tug Soobin away by the hand and make your quick exit out the function room and into the elevator. You’re aware of how Soobin is currently looking at you like you’re insane as you press on the lowermost button on the panel. His eyes are practically drilling into the side of your face.

“This— this isn’t the way to our room.”

“I know,” you reply, watching as the doors close in front of you. Jay booked a room to sell your whole schtick a little further, but looks like you won’t be able to use it. “We’re not going to our room. That is unless you actually want to follow through with what I said earlier?”

When you turn to look at him, he’s already drenched in pink. You hold back a laugh. They make it so easy for you to mess with them. “I’m joking. I doubt you’d want to spend a minute longer here, so let’s just dip. These clothes are getting stuffy.”

Somehow you found yourselves at the 7-Eleven outside your subdivision, overdressed and sharing a pint of ice cream and two beers under the empty store’s fluorescent lights. You stuff a spoonful into your mouth and let your gaze linger on him for a while. Soobin has his head down, quietly staring at the top of his beer can. With a face like that, you think he’d be more confident and outspoken, but it’s almost funny how he’s trying to scrunch up his large frame in the tiny seat in front of you.

Look, you’re simply tapping an index finger on the back of his hand and he immediately flinches and draws it back. He’s so shy, so timid that you can’t help but grow soft on him.

“I’m sorry,” is the first thing he says since you left the hotel.

You rest your cheek against your palm. “For what?”

“I mean, it’s just that— you spent the past four days making sure I didn’t mess up our whole act, but I messed it up anyway and we ended up leaving early. I’m sorry for wasting all your time and effort like that. I’m—I’m really sorry for being so hopeless and pathetic and—”

“Hey, don’t say that,” you cut him off. “If there’s anyone that’s pathetic, it’s that Jaeyun? No, Jaeyun is Jake. It’s that Jae-something bastard who’s pathetic. I mean, was he not loved enough as a child? Does he have a disease that makes everything that comes out of his mouth unrecyclable trash? Anyway, if anything, it should be me and the rest of the boys apologizing for forcing you into this. I’ll help you guilt trip them later when we get—”

You stop. You stop because you notice how his eyes are getting a little red, and how they’re getting a little glassy, and how he’s nipping at his bottom lip that you’re afraid it might start bleeding.

“Oh. Oh no. Soobin, please don’t cry.”

And he starts crying. Well, fuck.

You hastily get out of your seat and plop down right next to him, letting his head drop down to your shoulder. He continues sniffling as you switch between rubbing his back and giving him pats on the head, staring blankly at the empty aisles because the last thing you expected to do today is comfort a grown man in a dingy convenience store while you’re in high heels and a strappy dress.

“Let’s have a movie marathon with the boys when we get back, okay?”

At least you’ve gotten better at consoling people. It seems like a useful skill to have for the rest of your stay.

HOME FOR THE BITCHLESS. © hannie-dul-set, 2023.

[mobbu-min]

☆ bragging rights ☆

(ft the first years)

a/n I couldn't find the request where they wanted the first years, but here it is! Ortho is strictly platonic!

tw cursing

want more? eat up bestie! ☆,☆

Ace + Grim <3

⋆ Grim’s like, ‘No. Please, Great Sevens, no…’ He wants anyone but him. Grim wouldn’t mind if it was one of the Leech Brothers, or hell even, that weird ass bowl cut kid that tried to light everything on fire. Just anyone but Ace! He can’t! Just imagining Ace’s cocky ass grin sends Grim into a fit of rage. Really considers all his life decisions.

⋆ Ehm, can you please speak a little louder? Ace didn’t hear that. Ace squeals like a high school girl who just got asked to prom. Considers this his greatest accomplishment tbh. You’re the hottest thing since sliced bread and Ace is the super cool, incredibly good looking super mage. Like it’s a no brainer. A match made in heaven. Of course you’re going to be bragging about him. Who wouldn’t? (please, never stop. Ace literally cried tears of joy)

Deuce + Grim <3

⋆ Honestly, Grim’s okay with this one. Sure Deuce is a little airheaded, but Grim likes him a lot more than Ace! (that’s a lie, he loves both of them equally, just too stubborn to admit it) And he knows that Deuce will treat you right. Though, Grim doesn't know much more arguing he can take from the flustered idiot one and jealous idiot two. 

⋆ So so happy. He calls his mom immediately after, (i mean, he’s been calling his mom about you since the day you met) Deuce has really tried to be better, to be the type of guy that you wouldn’t hesitate to call yours and knowing that he made it makes him want to explode (in a good way ofc) He wants to cry, jump up and down, take you by your waist and give you a big ol’ smooch. There’s so many things he wants to do, so many things he wants to make you feel, because Deuce is so in love it’s embarrassing really. (Ace gags while also mourning the fact that it’s not him, jealous bastard)

Jack + Grim <3

⋆ Grim is a little on the fence about this one. Jacks a great guy, don’t get him wrong, but Grim doesn’t want to spend his mornings, afternoons and nights working out. Well, on second thought, the image of Grim sporting a rocking six pack kinda gets him to rethink….No, no…he does not want to give up his tuna! Jack will have to pry his box of tuna from his cold dead paws before he lets that happen. 

⋆ His tail does a little waggy once he hears you bragging. Like how can he not? He already talks about you a whole bunch. I mean if you count him always going ‘C’mon, even the prefect could do better!’ or ‘you might be even more airheaded then the Prefect…” then yeah, Jack’s doing a lot of bragging. He’s loyal by heart, but also emotionally constipated, so you’re going to have to look for the hidden meanings behind his brash words. Because it’s there! You just have to look hard and be patient!

⋆ Or you can just look behind your wolfy friend and stare at that ass- I mean, that tail! Yeah, tail! Because it’s betraying how he feels. So thank you tail! (and thank that ass, because it’s thiccc!)

Epel + Grim <3

⋆ Grim is honestly okay with this one. Epel and him are on good terms. So it doesn’t bother him all that much. Really there's nothing else to say other than, Grim is just happy that you’re happy.

⋆ YEEHAW BITCHES!!!!!HE WINS!!!!! Epel is alive and dying at the same time. He’s calling his meemaw, peepaw and all that jazz, because guess what? He’s not bitchless anymore! Yes! Take that Vil, you pompous jerk! And you too Rook, you frenchie! And most importantly, fuck you Ace! He beat you and now you look like a fool! HAHDHHAHA

⋆ Okay, but after Epel gets over his high, he’s face down on his apple plushies practically crying because he’s so happy. 

Ortho + Grim <3

⋆ Second son? SECOND SON? NAH! GRIM’S IS YOUR ONLY SON! He literally gets so offended that you're talking about Ortho more than him. Every little ounce of affection or praise directed towards you little robotic buddy is greeted with an irritated huff and eye roll from Grim. Like did you forget that Grim’s been with you since forever? Grim truly see’s Ortho as a rival/threat, because unlike the other boys who you continuously thrist over, you’re so sweet and kind to Ortho and treat him like he was your kid/brother. It really gets Grim’s gears going. He just wants you to know that he is not above fighting a child, robotic or not, he’s going down.

⋆ Oh, Ortho’s over the moon. The person he sees as a second sibling loves him so much! It makes him so happy. Literally, he thinks he’s dreaming (can he dream?). And omg, this just fuels Ortho to get Idia to confess to you, so you’re all like an actual family. You and Idia can be the parents and Ortho and Grim can be your kids! Ortho has already taken to treating Grim like a little brother, constantly patting his head and giving him treats (which does soothes Grim’s dislike to him by a lot, at this point you think Grim likes Ortho more than you) Ortho does ask if you four could all take a christmas photo together (or whatever the equivalent to christmas is in their world) and he sends it to every one of his friends with really fancy blue and pink glitter gel pen font that says ‘From the Shrouds!’. Sure he knows you aren’t actually a family yet, but he’s sure he can do a little convincing and bam! The wedding is bound to happen! 

Please just do as he says! Let this boy be happy T0T

Sebek + Grim <3

⋆ There’s dead silence from Grim. Like you do realize that you have no insurance right? How the heck are you supposed to pay for hearing aids for the both of you? He doesn’t get it. What’s the appeal? Did you hit your head that hard? Grim’s judging and he’s judging hard. But overall, Grim surprisingly feels bad. All he can think of is that one lyric you scream out every now then by that Rana le Del, um… What was it again? The Other Woman~ and that’s you. He just shakes his head because he knows you can do better. 

⋆ Sebek is a blushing mess. He’s on two ends of the spectrum, one being incredibly smug and two, wanting to scream the ears off anyone in the ten mile radius of him. There is no inbetween because he’s not a chill guy. When Sebek wants something he puts 110 percent into it. And that's what he does for you. You know what name becomes a frequent occurrence in his vocabulary? Yeah, it’s your name. There’s not a sentence that he says that does include you and Malleus in it. Yeah, he is making and joining every club that there is about you and yes, that is a shrine dedicated to you right next to his Malleus shrine. And no, you cannot stop him. 

[sparkly-sediment]

Tf2 Mediscout headcanons pt 1

This was requested! If you have any little tf2 desires, my asks are open, as are fanfic commissions! Feel free to dm

Personally this ship awakens a beast within if you catch my drift

It started off just like the others. No jarring attraction, no electricity, no 😩🫦💦. Just two dudes who are now very weird coworkers

Medic def has a type and Scouts fit the bill. Skinny lanky boy toy! During various experiments and totally inconspicuous injections (he told Scout it was penicillin) he notes the slender frame and the lean muscles but he is a professional after all

Scout, however, is not

He’s initially unnerved by Medic and attributes it to the threatening, could-vivisect-you aura, but the tightness in his chest when Medic comes too close or Scout catches a hint of his french cologne isn’tfear

They work fairly separately for a while. Yes, they live together, but they also live in a chaotic team of nine with very different jobs. Their conversations aren’t close like Medic and Heavy or Scout and Sniper

Different peers groups yk? And with the age gap, Scout isn’t exactly knowledgeable in whatever the fuck old people talk about

Scout isn’t a little bitch. He got his ass beat as a kid, so he could handle a bloody nose or split lip, and going to the med bay means close contact with a man who makes him feel funny (like, more than any chick ever had), so Scout keeps out

Medic doesn’t like that. Medic usually corrals someone onto the operating table, and Scout becomes his main target. The others don’t mind since they aren’t being sliced up but there are a few comments between Engineer and Heavy about it

They aren’t uncomfortable, but they notice. No one had made it weird so Engie wasn’t about to do so and neither was Heavy. They just notice an uptick of scout/medic conversations, the two bumping into each other a bit more, and the brutality of experiments on Scout decreasing

They’re highkey jealous LMAO who knew the doctor wouldn’t hurt you if he thought you were hot

Medic starts insisting Scout come in the med bay more. That doesn’t last long, because Scout quickly starts going on his own will

“I uh, need a bandaid” absolutely bitchless and unsure of himself it is pitiful! Medic finds it endearing

By this point Scout is aware he finds Medic attractive but is repressing the shit out of it. Internalized homophobia, tragically.

The way Medic towers over him, with his broad stature completely enveloping Scout haunts the runner and Scout starts having some silly little thoughts he just can’t control

During fights with BLU, he watches Medic haul the medigun and really starts spamming E ifykyk

What if Medic was rough with him? What if Medic held him down, or pinned him against the wall? Scout can’t help the images that pop into his head despite his best efforts, and he really can’t help the flush his skin takes when Medic touched him or speaks in a low tone

Scout is folded like a five dollar lawn chair and foolishly thinks he’s hiding it well

Medic knows and is toying with Scout like a cat. Bats at the mouse, holds his leg a little too long after looking at Scout’s ankle. He backs off and acts like there’s nothing tense about leaning over Scout for something on the counter

Medic is surprisingly chill if he’s in his element. Find him in the med bay, cleaning or tinkering with something fleshy, and he is really just vibing. If you’re Scout sitting on the counter watching, then Medics dropping knowledge of the human body

Medic exercising his intelligence sends Scout into heat highkey. Boy has no idea what the fuck he’s talking about but damn those hands that accent the big words!! He is desperate!!

Apologies for the set up rather than active relationship head canons. I’ll post some getting together, fluffy, and maybe nsfw headcanons for this pair!! Didn’t want a too long post and am tbh exhausted 😜

[ivryne]

⌗ THE AFTERMATH ( NEW VERSION )

genshin smau | scara x f!reader

# SYNOPSIS ; You had it coming, really. It was your fault that you accepted that reckless dare, and it was your responsibility to deal with the aftermath. The question was how? How were you going to face all your pride and dignity after you slept with HIM? Your arch nemesis, the bane of your existence, and your number one rival since highschool, Scaramouche Kunikuzushi.

pairings. scaramouche (kunikuzushi) x f!reader

genre. romance, crack, slice of life, rivals to lovers, modern au, college/uni setting, age 20-21

warnings. misunderstandings, slow burn, mommy issues, family issues, jealousy, mental breakdowns, fluff, 16+ nothing too steamy. timestamps don’t matter just ignore them

status. comming soon

(🩹) means there r gonna be written parts!

NOW PLAYING . . .

featuring . . . mentally un(st)able | need help ASAP

AND ACTION ! . .

act one — too late to back out

1. exes and whatnots

2. provocation of an enemy 🩹

3. false hopes

4. last five shots

5. a night to remember. or not

6. what’s done is done

7. forgotten promises

8. new semester, new me

9. bitchless behavior

…

act two — never settle for less

…

act three — above average

…

CUT ! SHOW’S OVER 🎥

taglist — CLOSED! ( please inform me if you changed your user or wanna ber removed ! ) @raideneiari @kino-alternative @xirthia @meigalaxy @ghostsaysno @sakiimeo @lxry-chxn @mcryv @ar1sc0rn3r @thomawifey @thenightsflower @scaraapologist @plinkuro @kairxse @baelloraa @scaravibe @samyayaya @darkcheesecakemusic @lazy-sanns @blurr3db3rry @lfgceo @kaekazuha04 @certaindreampost @kissingkzuha @jinxnotpowder @exhaustedcommunist @katsumikumo @phoenix-eclipses @tatiratty @anotherdayanotherobsession @celestair @lunaavity @bajifairyy @azu-rei @starryeyedkoko @kar0ki @cindywasneverhere @strangeauthorrascalfreak @lilactaro @kxr0mi @aludicpoet @albedonwanderer @d4y-dr3am3r @karma-gisa @elakari @scarletttcroww @vatuuxa @nxsh30

NOTE. Hello!! welcome back to the new version of the aftermath! I am so excited for this and I hope it goes well!! I hope you r gonna enjoy this onee aaa.

do not repost, share, or copy ! Reblogs and likes very much appreciated! Ty for taking ur time to read this. I hope i rlly get through w this bc i’m so inconsistent hehe.

©️ sher | shrslair

[hyunverse]

midnight existential crisis ꔫ seungmin

best friend!seungmin && reader.

genre — fluff, drabble.

warnings — vomit.

about — you and your best friend have a talk about the future.

note — hi!!! first request for skz, kinda nervous. hope u enjoy this bubba ^_^

part two here.

"oh my god i feel disgusting," you cry out, placing down half a slice of pizza.

several boxes of pizza are stacked on the table, some empty and some not. you managed to finish most of them, leaving only two boxes full.

seungmin merely watches — partially amused. out of boredom and greed, you decided to buy every topping of pizza available in domino's. he had told you that it's impossible to finish them all, but you insisted — said that it's possible if it's personal-sized. after three hours, he's currently basking in the glory of being able to say "i told you so."

the couch dips at your weight as you sink down, whining, "it's not fair. you barely ate any."

he shrugs, "i ate like three boxes."

"you have no ambition!"

"are you seriously insulting me for knowing the capacity of my own stomach?"

you loathe how seungmin always seems to have a rebuttal. he always has witty comebacks, yet so composed — it's his role in your shared apartment. amidst the calamity among you, hyunjin, and felix — he's always been the smartest one despite his own chaotic shenanigans. it's the very reason why you get along with him best.

"my god, minnie," you whimper, hand gently rubbing your bloated stomach, "one push on my stomach and my insides will immediately burst out."

a complete mistake on your part. it's not seungmin if he isn't constantly searching for ways to annoy you. before you know it, his hands are attempting to push your stomach. as you try to avoid his attacks, the two of you laugh, and laugh — until it slowly turns to silence. a homely type of silence.

“feet,” seungmin breaks the silence.

you’re laying on the armrest of the sofa, him as well but on the opposite. legs stretching out — his feet are now on top of yours. menacingly, he pinches your foot with his toes. you yelp out, kicking him in the shin in process.

“annoying ass!”

“at least i have an ass,” his response has you fuming in the inside.

“fuck you, i can’t wait ’til hyunnie and lix comes back.”

seungmin glances at the clock, eyebrows furrowed, “it’s midnight and they’re not here yet. . . they’ve literally been out since morning.”

a heavy sigh slips past your lips, and you sink yourself even more into the sofa. you wish the whole earth could swallow you alive. you, and the pathetic feeling harboring in your chest.

“it’s valentine’s day, hyunjin and felix both have dates,” you say, “why are we staying in?”

“‘cause we’re bitchless.”

“why are we bitchless? like, i don’t get it,” you add — seungmin could tell it’s the beginning of a long midnight talk, “felix has so many friends that he could go out with a different friend every other night. hyunjin gets both dudes and chicks, he gets asked out every week. why am i alone? like, what’s wrong with me, minnie?”

your best friend props up his body with his elbows to get a better look at you. he doesn’t answer your question — knows you well enough to know that you don’t actually want an answer — you just want to ramble. and he’s there to listen.

“i feel so lonely, seungmo, so lonely. i feel like i’m going to die alone. i can’t pinpoint what’s unlikeable about me, really. you, however. . . so many people like you, y’know that? have you ever considered, i don’t know. . . freeing your schedule to date? not be too stressed over college?”

the question causes seungmin to plop back down onto the leather sofa. he buzzes his lips together. it isn’t the first time he’s heard the statement, truly. the people he has casually dated has told him that he’s too driven by college, that he’s too determined.

“i don’t want to change that part of myself just so someone would date me, y/n,” he exhales the breath he didn’t even realize he had been holding, “i want to be loved without feeling like i’m begging for it. and we’re almost done with our degree, too. so, what’s the point anyway?”

you shoot up in your seat. a nauseous sensation starts to creep up your system — your legs move before you could think — suddenly you’re bent over the toilet, vomitting out all the food you’ve eaten. seungmin isn’t too far behind you. by the time you’re hunched over the toilet, you could feel his larger hands massaging your shoulders and rubbing your back.

“let it out,” he says, voice hushed.

once you’re done, the raven head helps you. he turns on the sink for you, even grabbed a couple tissues for you.

“we’re almost done with college,” you cry out, sitting on the bathroom floor with teary, red eyes and a snotty nose.

seriously, the dominos workers must’ve drugged the pizzas with something to make you so emotional.

“it’s our last semester, seungmo,” you add, sniffling.

obediently, seungmin sits beside you. he gently pushes your head down onto his shoulder, letting you cry out all your emotions.

“it’s so scary, seungmo, too scary.”

“of course it is scary, it’ll only get scarier as days pass by.”

“i feel like i’m the only one with no life plan. i know felix wants to work at a bakery once we graduate, and hyunjin’s going for interior design. i know you have plans too, no way you don’t,” you ramble in one breath, “i genuinely don’t know where i’m going after college. it’s so pathetic.”

seungmin shrugs, “i don’t know what i’m going to do either.”

“what?”

“i’m having second thoughts about my major.”

your lips purse into an ‘o’. a part of you feels bad for seungmin, considering you know how hard he studies, but a part of you feels relieved that you’re not the only one.

“that’s a huge yikes.”

“it is,” seungmin huffs as he rests his head against the blue tiled walls, “but i guess that’s that. sometimes the plan you initially plotted just doesn’t suit you.”

you nod at his words, “wow. we’re bitchless and jobless.”

it’s all pathetic — crying and vomitting at the thought of the future but someway, somehow, having seungmin by your side makes it less lonely. less scary, even by just a little.

“you ever thought about how your burdens are truly only yours and cannot truly be shared?” seungmin asks in a matter-of-factly tone.

your stomach churns at the statement.

“yeah. . . all the time. i feel like you could share your feelings but it’s only to get it out of your system. at the end of the day, all the burden is only yours.”

seungmin shuffles in his spot, hugging both his legs to his chin.

you sigh, “i’m always here for you though.”

a soft smile paints seungmin’s visage. his hand reaches out to pat your head.

“me too. you’re stuck with me until we’re both wrinkly on our death beds,” he jokes, “i don’t think i’m moving out once we graduate. i think i’m staying, i’ll find something to do in this area.”

you nod again, looking up at him. your eyes meet his — he sends you a reassuring smile. as if to say — “i’m with you, we don’t have to rush.”

for the first time in months, you genuinely feel reassured.

“me too, then. i’m staying.”

the night goes on — the clock constantly moving but neither of you does. you talk about nothing but everything, about how you used to be passionate about many things, how seungmin actually wanted to get serious with his last date but was ghosted, how hyunjin’s probably getting laid while the two of you wail and complain. it’s fun, and sad at the same time.

when the clock strikes four, two bodies are entangled on the bathroom floor, slightly snoring. the sight leaves hyunjin utterly confused when he walks in.

“what in the world. . .” the long-haired boy mumbles, tilting his head as he watches, “yongbok! you need to see this!”

the pitter-patter of footsteps could be heard as felix approaches, arms still busy taking off his jacket.

“what? oh wow— bestie goals.”

hyunjin chokes back his laughter, not wanting to wake any of you up, “i’ll carry seungmin to bed, you carry y/n?”

“okay.”

[astrae4]

YKWIM? — SMAU MASTERLIST

pairing: idol!sunoo x idol!reader

synopsis: Kim Sunoo is irrevocably in love with Park Y/N. From the moment he laid eyes on her, he knew she was the one. However, things seem to be against him! Firstly, he’s an idol. Secondly, she’s also an idol! And finally, she’s Park Jongseong’s sister. However, Sunoo thinks his prayers have been heard! He just can’t believe that it had to take a scandal to be closer with his loml.

genre: smau, fluff, slice of life, and kinda angst if you squint into it i suppose?

featuring — enhypen, le sserafim, and more!

warning — tw! Dispatch 🤢 and also like,, hate comments

status — ongoing

taglist (open) — @ja4hyvn @flwoie @sulkygyu @xiaoderrrr @pagesofmiracles @ineedaherosavemeenow @sstarrysshit @hoes4hoseok @woonierkiz @roseyrays @etchangel @haechansbbg @lonewolfjinji @wonsc4tz @yanqiiuver @foxkimsunoo2024

navigation | main masterlist

✁…………………………………………………………………………

PROFILES. fearful | for sale | extras + jungwon

CHAPTERS.

001. the cafe incident

002. i’m just a feminist

003. the bitchless stays quiet

004. wifey before bros

005. the truth untold

006. pretty boy

✁…………………………………………………………………………

© astrae4 2023 — please don’t copy, translate, or plagiarize my works on all platforms!

[hannyoontify]

intro. // teaser

love is all - chwe vernon

member | chwe vernon x reader

genre | childhood best friends to ????, angst, fluff, my def of humor, slice of life, coming of age (let’s see if i can pull this off), timeskips (is that a genre idk)

teaser word count | 1.1k with some change

synopsis | when your mom perpetually calls you stingy with love, you recount the different times you’ve fallen in love to your best friend

warnings | alcohol consumption, cursing, historical inaccuracies in terms of school punishment???, reader questions their relationship every 2 weeks and is very emotionally closed off when it comes to romantic relationships [will be continued to be updated as i write!]

notes | inspired by my all time fav song rn, love is all by the black skirts !!

“You’re quite stingy when it comes to love, my dear. Have you ever noticed that?”

Your mom’s gentle voice echoed in your head as you drove back home in silence. You gripped the steering wheel tightly until your knuckles turned pale. You scoffed to yourself as you stopped at a red light. Stingy? There was no way you were stingy with love. The number of crushes you had in middle school and high school was almost embarrassing-

Your thoughts were interrupted when the car behind you honked, snapping you out of your daze as the light had already turned green. You felt your cheeks burning as you stepped down on the gas pedal and cruised down the almost empty street, slick from the rain earlier.

The sun had already set, and the streetlights dimly lit the roads ahead of you. For some reason, you were suddenly reminded of the times back in high school when you and your best friend would speed down the empty streets, blasting music as you threw your head out the window.

But back to what your mother said… stingy? That almost felt insulting and it was even more insulting when Vernon simply laughed at your face when you repeated what your mom told you earlier that night.

“That’s basically mom code for calling you bitchless,” Vernon wheezed out before erupting into another fit of giggles. You threw a chicken bone at him and he dodged it with a grossed out look.

“You’re one to talk, Mr. I’m-Waiting-For-The-Right-Person,” You picked out another piece of fried chicken from the plate in front of you. “Please, you haven’t dated in the past decade. Like how is that possible? You’re attractive, you have a steady job, you’re funny and smart, you’re a good person, you have a good credit score,” Vernon snorted but didn’t bother questioning how you knew his credit score, “and unless your cologne is secretly a women repellent, I don’t know why you wouldn’t date.”

Vernon leaned forward with a coy smile. “Aww, you think I’m attractive? And funny and smart?” You snorted and pressed your index finger against his forehead to push him back.

“Don’t flatter yourself, that’s not the point. Are you drunk? We haven’t even opened the beer yet,” You paused for a moment. “Shall we?””

And with that, the two of you dropped the topic and busied yourself with opening the various cans and bottles of alcoholic beverages, although it was mostly cheap beer you bought from a local convenience store on the way to Vernon’s apartment.

In all honesty, a part of you was slightly concerned for the current state and health of both your livers. The amount of alcohol the two of you drank together was ungodly, but what can you say? You were the only person Vernon knew that could actually keep up with his drinking game, and no one knew your drinking habits better than Vernon. He was your best friend and drinking buddy, and you wouldn’t change it for anything in the world.

Your best friend smiled with glee at the sight of alcohol and you snorted.

“You’re an alcoholic.”

“And you’re bitchless.”

“CAN YOU NOT?!” Despite yelling, you couldn’t help but laugh along with Vernon. It was a stupid argument and the two of you seemed to silently agree to move on, although something in your gut told you that you would be talking about it with Vernon again soon enough.

“Have you ever been in love?” Your question hung in the air, its claws digging into the thick and heavy silence as you awaited for Vernon’s response. At some point in the night, the two of you had transitioned from the kitchen table to Vernon’s living room floor. The coffee table was haphazardly pushed aside to make room for both of your bodies to lie down.

The longer Vernon remained quiet, the more you wanted to kick yourself in the balls.

Why would you ask such a stupid question? Why would he tell you? It was none of your business (even though you were his best friend and it was your God-given right to know about every single detail of Vernon Hansol Chwe’s life). You and your stupid, stupid drunk habits. Maybe if you pretended to sleep, he would think you were sleep talking and you can act like nothing ever happe-

“Yeah. Once.”

If you were sober, you would’ve jackknifed right up and pounced on Vernon for more details, but because you were currently drunk and on the floor, and it felt like your four limbs were made of lead, you couldn’t. It was a good thing you didn't too, or else you probably would’ve thrown up.

“Who?” Vernon slowly sat up, using the couch for support and you mirrored him. Sitting across from him now, you crossed your legs and inched closer until your knees were touching. You then leaned forward until your nose was almost touching his. “Who?”

With his pointer finger and thumb, Vernon dragged the two fingers across his lips, making a locking motion at the end with a sly smile. “Can’t tell you.”

Before you could ask him more questions, he threw the question back at you, almost feeling like a slap in the face, “What about you?”

You were suddenly wide awake. It felt like all the alcohol was suddenly drained out of your system. The question felt like a bucket of ice cold water being thrown at your face.

You were also suddenly very aware of how close you were to Vernon. You could feel his faint breath on your cheek and one wrong move and your lips would probably be touching his. Using your hands to lift yourself up off the ground, you scooted backwards. Vernon snickered at the sight and called you a crab, to which you responded with a middle finger.

Now that you had more space, you placed a pointer finger on your chin animatedly, pondering out loud like a character on a children’s show. Vernon watched you quietly, patiently waiting for you to re-account your countless crushes from the past 25 years.

At the end of a very long silence, you nodded.

“Yeah,” you held up three fingers with one hand with a drunken smile. “Three times. I’ve been in love three times.

“With you.”

a/n: IM BACK BITCHESSSSSS anyway i’ve been OBSESSED with this song recently like it’s so good and then i got a fic idea for this yesterday(?) during econ so i decided to write the intro/teaser instead of doing my homework (everything happens in econ btw like idek) anyway i’m rlly looking forward to publishing this fic so !!

[malachiexists13]

STATUS: Started October 4th, 2023 - Ongoing

SUMMARY:

Life at college was meant to be quiet and remotely uneventful. But it seemed fate has different intentions. With the introduction of a new student that causes a stir within Y/n's friend group, and a project with an "unapproachable" partner... Will Y/n falter under the stress? Or... will something unexpected happen?

GENRE/S: Modern - Interactive - Romance - Slice of Life - Angst

DISCLAIMER:

Angst; Miscommunication; College Depiction Written by Someone Who Has Not Attended College; Characters Potentially Out of Character; Suggestive Language; Lame Humor;

*more to be added as story is written

Relationship Tracker coming soon

Explanation Video coming soon

NOTE: This is an interactive fic, meaning your choices WILL affect the story! You can both gain and lose relationships, and it is entirely possible to get an ending with a character who is not one of the three established love interests. It all depends on your actions. So please, choose wisely.

KEY (will be updated):

🤍 - Y/n POV

🔞 - NSFW Content

🖋️ - Written Portion

FIRST YEAR

0. "A fresh beginning" [🖋️]

1. "Oh wait-- He's cute?" [🖋️]

2. "Bitchless Era" [🖋️]

3. To Be Determined

TAGLIST: (open!)

@veekoko @kodzusmiles @our-raven-strife-universe @lixenen @featuredtofu

----------------------------------------------------------------

Please do not copy or repost this fic. It is entirely exclusive to Tumblr, and Tumblr only. If you happen to see it posted anywhere else, report it or let me know.

[bengiyo]

Laws of Attraction Eps 1 and 2 Stray Thoughts

For @lurkingteapot, @negrowhat, and @troubled-mind, here are some highlights from the voice recordings Bestie and I sent to the chat while we were watching the first two episodes.

Episode 1

Ben: They were death-flagging on this child, so David and I decided to take the over-under on how long it would take this child to die. We gave it five minutes. So, two minutes later.... David: They ran over that child like Wile E. Coyote!

David: I can't go to Thailand. Ben: I'm scared! I'm really scared!

Ben: I'm so excited. This is giving everything. We got a kid run over by a car after death flagging six different ways, and David's like that list better not be in that bag! Cuts to the bag. The list is covered in blood. David: This is a Mexican telenovela!!

Episode 2

Ben: Let's talk about this sandwich. This man put all this presentation into a single sandwich, which he cut in half! Then split between the two of them, garnished with a piece of lettuce, a slice of tomato, and a ton of onion....along with some orange juice from concentrate?? With bread that looks like it was burnt to within in inch of its life on a George Foreman Grill..... This man is insane.... Like we already knew that. This man is as insane as Bill in Kill Bill 2 using a whole chef's knife to spread mayonnaise on a sandwich.

Ben: Okay, David, you were correct. I'll give you a Clowned Correctly award. David said that that man is not touching him because he's insane and he absolutely wants that man to want him when he finally fucks him. I love it though! He's like, "You were drunk, and you puked on yourself. So I removed your clothes to clean you up, and lusted. I sure did! But I didn't touch you! Because that would get me 4-20 year in prison. And they're not gonna have my ruffles and bubble baths in prison." David: "I'm a not-so-secret luxurious bitch. I don't DO cells." Ben: This high sadity mofo's like, "Uh-uh. But! Since you're sober now!" David: "Let's talk!!" Ben: I love this man. David: "Good! What's really good?"

Ben: Not this man getting out of this car... David: With the gayest shirt! Ben: What the fuck is going on with this collar and these overlong goddamn sleeves? This man is a menace. David: This is giving, "Give me shirt but also a Faustian nightmare." Ben: He looks like someone just popped a can of cinnamon rolls. David: I can't want more for you than you want for yourself. Ben: I...am overdone...with this show... David: And not champagne colored! You're a gay man! You know better! Ben: Look how it's sitting on his shoulders! This is a travesty!

Ben: I know we comment on how unhinged this man is in every scene, but why is he taking the One Ring to Mordor as well?

Ben: This is the least insane he's looked in this show, and that's saying something. We've been here for nine hours.

Ben: I see why @ginnymoonbeam said this show might be for the KinnPorsche enjoyers because this is now the next show where we've watched a father slap his son in the most bitchless way possible. David: Slaps always come in threes! The first is your first salvo. The second, this time, is aiming to fuck up some real estate. The third is the disrespect.

David: They clearly defined her relationship with her employees. They are not afraid of her. If these are hoes, they feel taken care of. Ben: I don't know what the relationship is between Organ and Silvy's characters, but I hope we get to see them fuck on screen. David: If we don't, why am I here? I require women doing filthy shit to each other. I can get BL anywhere. I came to see women doing shameful things with each other. I came here for Jennifer Tilly and Gina Gershon in Bound. I did not come here for the Bridges of Madison County. Ben: Girl you ain't never lie!

David: I'm here for this. The unapologetic sissiness is what I live for. He had me when he pulled out that little gun. "Now, I can date you, but I can also put you down like a dog." You know there's nothing I love more than Gays With Guns. Look at God. Won't he do it. Ben: God had nothing to do with iQIYI.

[possiblylando]

Chainsaw Man 128 'Early' Analysis

LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HE'S FINALLY BACK THE GREATEST CHARACTER NEVER SHOWN YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG I gotta back up Chapter starts with a pretty fucking funny scene. Continuing off the cliff hanger from the previous chapter Asa and Denji are talking about sex.

Going mostly off facial expression it seems like Asa starts to understand Denji's headspace more when it comes to Sex. It also confirms one of my more obvious observations from last chapter. Denji is using sex as a replacement for intimate feelings when talking about his dream. He wants someone to be close to him. Obviously he still wants to have sex. But he doesn't really have a way to put it into works so this is about as good as we're gonna get for now. Then Asa drops the nuclear fucking warhead.

In one page Denji turned from bitchless to a true incel. It's over millions of devils must die. I really hope that Denji gets a moment later along the lines of "You're wrong, Women love a man with a chainsaw for a head". I haven't forgotten about the chainsaw man fangirls from that chainsaw man thoughts interview. Obviously Denji and Asa get sent to hell because Denji in unable to cope with the through of being an incel.

I do not like these kinds of dishes where it's basically one thing and then it's just all garnish. Also there's a lack of eyes and ears. So what where those for? Denji Flees and we get to see how much he's grown since part 1.

We saw this same technique in use when he first fought falling. His body stays active for at least a few seconds when his head is chopped off so he's able to actually reattach his head or use it as a weapon. It's a really neat evolution of his abilities that totally in line with what he can already do. Cause this isn't something part 1 Denji would be able to so casually pull off. I doubt this has any important but his rip cord appears on the outside of his shirt without it ripping. It isn't like he brought a shirt that had a hole for the cord either because in previous panels it's just blank white. Again probably unimportant.

Denji come on man you're better than this. This is clearly just a joke at least because he's revving up to fight Falling again. Also I'm just now noticing this but Hell looks REALLY difference from the last time we saw it. Remember how it was previously the green field. Now it's just darkness. Is this a subspace within Hell? Did the Hell devil's death at the end of Part 1 result in this? Does the Hell devil control how Hell is? It could just be an unimportant detail but I want some information on it now.

HE'S HERE- actually- How many times has falling been fucking pwnd since her introduction? Twice in 125 1. Gunfire

2. Denji

Once in 126 3. Denji Again

Once in 128 4. Chainfraud Man

HE'S BACK AND HE'S REALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL YARRRRRGGGGGGGGGG FUCKING INSANE CLUTCH THIS HAS TO BE THE SAME GUY RIGHT? Let me back up. You're more than aware of the Chainfraud Man theory by now but I'll summarize quickly. In chapter 111 we see a shadow of someone who looks like Chainsaw Man kill Yuko.

However 2 pages before this we see that Denji is asleep at the time this took place. Meaning this couldn't have been denji.

And that's all we got for actual appearances. Of course theories ran wild of things like: "Yoshida Octopus Shapeshifting?" "Chainsaw Man Devil?" ect

So backing up to chapter 126. I had previously theorized this to be Yoshida. However it appears that this guy was in fact Chainfraud Man the entire time.

It also means Denji knows who this is. Well if he's smart enough to put two and two together. Which I doubt. Now depending on what happens at the beginning of 127 Chainfraud Man could potentially have one of the best feats so far. More than likely Falling will just regenerate and slam this dude. But if she doesn't then-

Cause he sliced her head in half. If this will actually do anything is yet to be seen. God this panel is so fucking COOL

HE'S SO FUCKING COOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE CHARACTER RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHH Ahem Chainfraud Man is more than likely a new character who we haven't seen before. It could potentially be Yoshida but the odds of that are diminishing rapidly. So whoever this guy is really is the greatest. I do wonder if "Evade them until sunrise" is literal or metaphorical. Like will falling's attack cease once the sun literally rises? Or is it a metaphorical one piece sun rise where they have to beat falling for the sun to rise? If it's literal it'll probably be because Falling couldn't get the main dish in time for the "meal". Aka she couldn't meet her deadline. Great Chapter. 10/10

[hannie-dul-set]

— arranged by: member (eldest to youngest) | date (latest to oldest) | type (full-length to drabbles to blurbs). i don’t recommend reading my older works because they’re terrible. still putting them on here for the sake of bookkeeping | last updated: 23.12.18.

HOME FOR THE BITCHLESS. wherein your friend offers a room for you to crash in while your dorm is being renovated, but fails to mention that your new housemates don’t know how to talk to women (oh, and they also have an ongoing bet about you, too).

PAIRINGS. choi soobin, choi beomgyu, lee heeseung, park jongseong, sim jaeyun, park sunghoon x female! reader. GENRE. housemates! au, rom-com, sitcom, reverse harem time baby. GENERAL WARNINGS. too much swearing, references to/jokes about sex but i will not write smut, an awful amount of secondhand embarrassment, all of the boys are pathetic (check each chapter for specific warnings). WORD COUNT. (currently) 22k.

[monsters don’t hide under the bed] 

LOVE VOMIT.  [n.] — the term when you become too full with your feelings too quickly and too frequently that you end up spitting everything out before even getting the chance to digest. this happens to you more often than you’d like to admit— every quarter, actually, ever since starting college. but what can you do when the prospect of falling in love is just too good to say no to? what can you do when maybe the next desert might actually stay inside your system this time?

or, wherein you fall in love with a different guy every season but fail to notice the one that’s been looking at you the whole year.

PAIRING. choi soobin x  reader (ft. the rest of txt x reader). GENRE. college! au, orgmate! soobin, strangers to friends to lovers, slice of life, romance, humor, mild angst, comfort (no hurt), SLOWBURN, featuring some members of seventeen, enhypen, and le sserafim. WARNINGS. reader is shorter than soobin, swearing, drinking, kissing, unrequited feelings, annoying org jargon. WORD COUNT. 36k.

THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER DRINK BEYOND YOUR LIMITS (OR MAYBE YOU SHOULD?) soobin blacked out one evening and forgot something he shouldn’t have.

PAIRING. choi soobin x reader. GENRE. fluff, humor, lovestruck! soobin, based on the manhwa “daybreaking romance.” WARNINGS. drinking, swearing. WORD COUNT. 1.2k.

모기 / MOGI. in which all of your life, you and beomgyu have been stuck together like glue whether you liked it or not. and as much as you want to change that, life seems to have different plans. 

PAIRING. choi beomgyu x reader. GENRE. childhood friends to not quite friends (derogatory) to not quite friends (endearment), romance, humor, very light-barely there angst, pining idiots, college! au with flashes to high school, featuring an ensemble of 01z idols. WARNINGS. swearing, many many (fake) death threats, so much secondhand embarrassment, mentions of sex, mentions of blood and gore, the worldly problems of a teenager, mc has anger issues, gossip. WORD COUNT. 14k.

THE BOY WHO CRIED WOLF. you don’t buy it when beomgyu keeps trying to make a move on you.

PAIRING. choi beomgyu x reader. GENRE. fluff, humor. WARNINGS. swearing, beomgyu is embarrassing. WORD COUNT. 1.6k.

BFF PRO MAX. best friends doing not so best friend things.

PAIRING. choi beomgyu x reader. GENRE. fluff, suggestive. WARNINGS. making out. WORD COUNT. 582.

[rockstar! au]

TOMORROW X TOGETHER MASTERLIST. © hannie-dul-set.

[softasawhisper]

Alright so this requires a backstory: My friend Reghan and I are both women interested in women and we went to a fair together. We both write fics for Steddie and were feeling bitter at all the couples around us so we were talking about titles for fics while people made out all around us. All of this to say: we came up with this title in September of last year and I'm interested to see what you come up with.

✨Bitchless at the fair✨

This is probably not what you would want, and its vaguely a drabble vaguely a summary. Sorry!

Steve and Eddie walk around the fair being judgey lil dweebs. Both are single pringles spouting things like "We don't need DATES to have fun! Who needs a girl, this is GUYS NIGHT!" Eddie loudly exclaims that "STEEEVEEE Everyone with a stink face probably has diarrhea from the food carts. Didn't you see the dude passing out pept0 bism0l at the entrance?" Much to the disgust of those around them. They laugh, grab cotton candy. Then kinda heckle the try hards at the game booths, to each other at least, neither want to end their evening with bleeding noses. "Eddie mockingly is like "Oh Steveee~ Wont you win me one of those shitty stuffed animals? I'll simply DIE if a big strong man don't win me a shoddily made lime green bootleg Garfield. It's worth liek five cents but you can get it for the the low low price of the entire contents of your wallet and heaping slice of pride!" Steve laughs and is like "oooH~ loookkk~ I'm gonna WINNN ITTT~~~~" And he does, on the first try. They look at each other startled and laugh a bit, Eddie whoops loudly and jumps onto his back in delight. Steve throws his head back to laugh and Eddie is thrown off. The booth operator gives them a glance and hands the plush to Steve who gives it to Eddie, who promptly names him Barfield.

They ride the bumper cars, boo at the guys who don't let their girlfriend in the driving seat, and before they actually make it out the gate to leave. Eddie is all. "Ooh~ a ferris wheel! A trip to the fair isn't complete without a ride on that beaut!" So they get enough tickets to ride it. And they stop at the top. Laughing and lightly swinging their feet. Steve turns to Eddie "Tonight's been really fun man." "Yeah it's been really great." A couple is kissing in the next seat down, Eddie spots them and nudges Steve with his elbow, then points. "Oohh, isn't the ferris wheel SOOO romantic?" And Steve gulps, and replies "Yeah, it really is." with such sincerity Eddie's eyes widen and then he smiles shyly. They gaze into each other's eyes, and share a sweet kiss. Then press their foreheads together and then their noses, as they smile.

"Barfield wants a kiss too, Stevie."

[torchwoodpropaganda]

You're denial of the question makes it sound like your bitchless

1 small onion, diced

500g good-quality beef mince

1 egg

1 tbsp vegetable oil

4 burger buns

All or any of the following to serve: sliced tomato, beetroot, horseradish sauce, mayonnaise, ketchup, handful iceberg lettuce, rocket, watercress

What?