#Steve mentioned her briefly when she joined the Avengers (''the team needs a heart'')

[azurecanary]

I genuinely think any version of Daisy would've absolutely killed it in CA:TWS

She would've fit right in (especially since MCU!Hill is just 616!Daisy but with no powers)

[cjsinkythoughts]

Right From Left

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Word Count: 3085

Warnings: !FATWS SPOILERS!, Cursing, Zemo being a punk, Bucky getting a little scary, some feelings, Sam being his fantastic, amazing, caring for everyone self

A/N: Here it is! At long last! I’ve been waiting for this episode and it was…holy fuck. I barely have words. And I can’t start or else I’ll be ranting for pages. Anyways, I know this Part is a little on the shorter side - not by much, but it still is - and it doesn’t even cover half the episode, but I’ve had a long day and I’m tired, so I’m going to sleep. I wanted to stop before Walker entered the picture too, because then I’m just gonna get more riled up and I’m working later. I’ll probably have another part out today, and then I’ll finish it tomorrow. Unless I can finish it today. I’ll try, but no promises.

Feel free to rant to me about the episode or the show, too, guys! My friends and I have been going back and forth about it for the past few hours. I’d love to hear your thoughts! I think that’s all for now.

As always, this isn’t beta’d so please excuse any mistakes! Thank you for reading, be kind to yourself and others, enjoy this part and stay tuned!

FATWS Masterlist

cjsinkythoughts Masterlist

!SPOILERS BELOW CUT!

You were avoiding him.

When you first got to Latvia, he had pulled you aside, eyes wide and pleading. “Doll, listen-”

“I really don’t think right now is the time to have the discussion we’re about to have.” Shaking your head, you avoided his gaze, your stomach twisting into knots. It was too much for you to handle; you couldn’t focus on the mission at hand and try to unravel the emotions that were making your gut flip like a gymnast. There were too many thoughts in your head, and you needed a clear mind.

“But-”

“Once this is all done, and our lives aren’t in danger. Once we’re back home, then we can talk, okay? Just…please. Not here. Not now.”

And he dropped it. 

It wasn’t that you didn’t want to talk about it. You just couldn’t. You had always been a ‘leave your baggage at the door’ type of person. Don’t mix work with personal. Not like you had much “personal” anyways when you first decided that was how it should be. And then your coworkers became family and your motto got a lot harder to follow. But you still followed it. And you would continue to follow it.

But that made you start avoiding him. Whether you meant to or not, everyone noticed, but no one said anything. Sam shot you a look when you didn’t offer to go with Bucky when he had to check something out. Zemo raised an eyebrow when he came back and, instead of immediately questioning him, you sat still on the couch, eyes glancing up briefly, before going back to playing with the strings of your hoodie.

You were paying attention to their conversation, especially when Karli Morgenthau was brought up, you just didn’t join in. Not even when Zemo mentioned the Avengers, eyeing you to see your reaction.

Honestly, you were tired, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Your shoulder hurt, your brain couldn’t process what the guys were talking about, and your heart couldn’t take any more hits.

It was something you’d been thinking about…you just thought it’d come after this mission.

“She will not stop. She will escalate until you kill her…or she kills you.”

“Maybe you’re wrong Zemo. The Serum never corrupted Steve.”

For the first time since he first walked in, your eyes met Bucky’s. “Touche.” Zemo pointed at Bucky with a pastry around his finger. “But there has never been another Steve Rogers, has there?”

But you couldn’t wait until after this mission. Not when he was so connected to it. “I think I’m gonna go home.” You blurted out before Zemo and Bucky could argue further, Bucky slumping down onto the opposite side of the couch.

The moment the words left your lips, Sam and Bucky shot up, staring at you in disbelief.

“Wait, hold up. What? Now? We’re so close-”

“Why? Is it your arm? Is it hurting? You should’ve told us-”

“I’m just tired.” You cut in, shaking your head. “That’s all. I didn’t expect this to be drawn out this long when you called, Sammy.”

Bucky’s hand twitched as he hesitatingly scooted closer to you. “Doll, if this is because what happened on the jet-”

“It’s not, Buck.” You tried to give him a convincing smile, but you knew by the look in his eyes that he didn’t buy it for one second. You reached over to squeeze his hand, and when you pulled back, he held on tighter, a sigh escaping his lips as he stared down at your linked hands.

“Okay…if you wanna go home, we can get you home. Just…” His head turned back to you, a pleading pout on his features. “Just…stay. Another day. Please. You can keep avoiding me, I won’t even say another word to you if you don’t want. But stay. Just for one more day.”

Chewing on your cheek, you finally nodded slightly. “Okay. One more day.”

His eyes lit up, before his face fell again when you took your hand back and curled into the corner of the couch. “Let’s talk shop, boys.”

“Okay. So, from my understanding, Donya is like a pillar of the community, right?” Sam easily changed the topic back to the situation at hand, giving you a reassuring wink when you smiled at him gratefully. “So when I was a kid, my Tee Tee passed away.”

Bucky screwed his face up in confusion, straightening his head from where he had it leaned back. “Your - your Tee Tee?”

Sam gave him a look. “Yeah. My-my Tee Tee, yeah.”

Bucky looked at him weirdly. “Who is your Tee Tee?”

The exchange made you giggle a little bit, shaking your head. “Bucky’s a city boy from the 40’s, remember, Sammy?”

“Fine.” Sam rolled his eyes. “When I was a kid my aunt passed away.”

Bucky gave a slight huff, making you chuckle again. You stopped when he smiled over at you, but your grin didn’t leave your face. Even when they were the ones to give you a headache, your fellas were damn entertaining, that’s for sure.

With a sort-of plan in place - the gathering for Donya being no more than a theory, but the only idea you really had - you stretched out from your spot on the couch, twisting to crack your back. “Zemo.” The man stopped his rummaging through the cabinets and looked over his shoulder at you, an eyebrow raised. “Go put some clothes on. We’ve got work to do.”

He gave you an unimpressed look, opening his mouth, but Sam beat him to the punch. “Do as the lady says, man. You’re already walking on a tightrope after you shot Nagel!” Zemo waved dismissively at Sam’s exclamation, heading into a separate room to change out of his robe. “That guy is gonna drive me up the wall.”

“Don’t let him get to that pretty head of yours, Sammy.” You hummed, standing up, wincing slightly as you stretched your sore shoulder over your head.

You could tell Bucky wanted to say something, the way he snapped forwards, hands moving down his thigh like he was leaning over to reach for you, his eyes locked on your injured joint, but, just as he said earlier, he didn’t say a word. But the part that made you upset was…you didn’t stop him. You didn’t tell him it was okay for him to talk to you. You didn’t reassure him that you weren’t purposely trying to avoid him. You simply moved over to the kitchen to get something to drink.

It hurt worse than your shoulder, but you couldn’t handle it. Not then. Not with such an important part of the mission coming up. So you didn’t say anything. You just sipped your water, switching into tactic mode as your mind ran through the scenarios of what could possibly go down in the next 24 hours before you went home.

*************************

Walking under the arch, you couldn’t help but feel saddened as Zemo told you about what the courtyard used to look like. Thanos messed the world up so much more than you realized and, as much as you hated to admit it, the Avengers did have a part in it. Not that they - you - were in the wrong, necessarily. You truly believed you did what anyone in that situation, with the skills and abilities and knowledge the team had, would do what you did. Or tried to do.

“I’m gonna take a look around upstairs.” Sam stated, looking up at the upper stories of the building, before glancing at Bucky. “See what you can find out here. And keep an eye on him.”

“I’ll come with you.” You said, turning on your heel to follow Sam. The back of Bucky’s gloved hand brushed against yours, and instinctually you turned your palm to link your fingers and squeezing. You let go quickly once you realized what you were doing, nearly tripping up the stairs to get to Sam, not daring to wait for Bucky’s reaction.

“You’re an idiot.” He stated simply as soon as you met him at the top of the stairs.

“Can we focus on finding Donya right now, please?” You grumbled, moving forwards cautiously, peeking around the corner. You frowned when you saw two guys at the end of the hallway, looking back at you and Sam warily.

“You need to hear what he has to say, cher.”

You sighed, rubbing your forehead. “I know I do. I know. But I can’t. Not right now. I’m just trying to get this over with first. I don’t want too many things on my plate. I might choke.” It already felt like you were drowning most nights.

He paused at your words, giving you a once over, before nodding. “Okay. I can respect that.”

“Thank you.” You told him earnestly. “Now let’s try to get something from these people.”

He nodded in agreement and you two continued forwards with your search. Room after room, people walked out before you could get anything from them, locking doors behind them. The Flag Smashers logo was everywhere, but you expected nothing less from a refugee camp that practically worshipped what they were doing.

Even when you did get a guy to talk to you, he immediately shut you down, leaving you and Sam dejected. The fact that the world had gotten so bad that these people couldn’t trust you and Sam - Avengers; people who used to be heroes and bring hope to others - it made your heart sink.

“C’mon, Y/N.”

“Are we wrong?”

He froze at your question, his lips pressing together. “About what, exactly?”

You shrugged. “I don’t know. I just…I guess I can’t tell right from left anymore. I always assumed that the Avengers were the good guys. That the actions we’ve taken in the past were us making the world a better place, but…Sokovia and Ultron. Germany and the whole civil war thing we had going on. The entire world and Thanos. We don’t truly ever win. Do we?”

“I can’t answer that for you.” Sam shook his head. “I can’t tell you what to believe or who to believe in. But I can tell you that we’ve made a difference. Steve, Nat, Tony…they made a difference.”

“But was it a good difference? Was it a change? There’s a difference between changing the world and just making it different, Sam.”

He blinked at you, nodding slowly. “Yeah. I guess you’re right. And I don’t have that answer for you either. But they tried. They did what they thought was right. No matter if it was or not. And isn’t that all we can do? Try?”

His words made you think back to the conversation you had with Bucky once he learned about John Walker, which seemed so long ago. When you told him it wasn’t Sam’s fault. That he was just trying. That he did what he thought was right. 

And maybe he was wrong. But he made a decision. It was his decision. To do the right thing. And right then, not for the first time, you could see exactly what Steve saw in the man in front of you.

“You’re a good man, Sam.”

Sam grinned, slinging an arm around your shoulders and squeezing. “And you’re an incredible person, Y/N. Let’s go see if Bucky and the Baron got anything.”

You snickered at his mocking tone towards Zemo and nodded. “Yeah. Okay.”

*****************************

You didn’t like it. You didn’t like it one bit. So far, Zemo kept proving you wrong. Even when it seemed like he was about to jump ship, he came back. No matter how many opportunities he had to escape, he never did. And it was making you even more suspicious.

You stayed out of Bucky and Sam’s conversation, although you had to agree with Sam’s point, especially with the conversation you just had.

Your thoughts were running a thousand miles a minute, only to be interrupted by Zemo information about the funeral this afternoon. Guess a snake will always be a snake.

“And you, uh, didn’t think this was important information?” You questioned, eyes narrowed and brow pinched.

He shrugged. “You have it now, don’t you, princess?”

Bucky growled at the nickname, leaning back on the couch, threatening Zemo with the Dora Milaje.

You can’t remember a time you’ve ever been scared of Bucky. Maybe a little threatened and intimidated by the Winter Soldier, but never scared of Bucky. And when he stood up after Zemo mentioned leverage, you didn’t expect anything from it; maybe another choke hold or something. So the glass hitting the wall, the clench in his jaw as he spoke gruffly to the Baron, for a mere second, he kind of frightened you. Maybe it was all the emotions you’d been through the past few weeks or maybe it was the adrenaline that seemed to be pulsing through your veins 24/7 nowadays. Whatever it was, it made you flinch, bolting up as Sam did.

You left the room quickly, hearing Sam say something about making a call, hoping to calm your racing heart.

“Doll?” You sat up from the bed you were laying on, legs hanging off the edge. Bucky stood in the doorway, nervously shifting his feet. “I know I said I’d leave you alone, but…”

You gave the bed a pat next to you and he gladly accepted the invitation, padding over to sit besides you. “I don’t want you to leave me alone, Buck. You’re my best friend. I-I just need to take it one thing at a time right now.”

He nodded. “I get it. I wasn’t…I wasn’t coming in to talk to you about that. You said we’ll talk about it later, so we’ll talk about it later.”

“I appreciate that, Bucky.” You smiled at him, before frowning. “What did you wanna talk about then? Are you okay?”

“Did I…did I scare you?”

You blinked at his question, tilting your head. “What?”

Jerking his head to the doorway he explained, “just then. With Zemo. Your heart spiked.”

“No.” You answered immediately. You would never ever admit that he kind of did scare you. It was just for a second and you knew how his brain worked; he’d beat himself up over it, go over his actions for hours instead of getting the rest he so desperately needs and deserves. He didn’t need that on his conscience right now. “I wasn’t - I just…you startled me. I wasn’t expecting that reaction-”

“I didn’t like the way he talked to you.” He spat out, glaring at his hands in his lap. “And then the smug bastard thought he was gonna get away with holding back information like that and I just…I dunno.”

His hand came off his thigh, but he hesitated. Before he could put it down again, you slipped your hand under his, linking your fingers, running your thumb in circles against his palm. “Don’t let him get to you, Buck. Don’t give him the satisfaction.”

A sigh left his lips and he nodded. “I know, I know. It’s just…hard. After everything he put me through - put us through - I…I just hate that he’s really our only option.”

You frowned, shifting on the bed to face him, one leg bending beneath you while the other still hung over. “Why are you so obsessed with catching these guys?”

“I wanna do something right.” He murmured, playing with your fingers. “I’ve done so much wrong…I just wanna do something right. And I feel...responsible for it, I guess. In a way. It’s Super Soldier Serum. I thought I was the only one after Steve…” He froze at the blonde’s mention, giving you a side-eyed glance. You nudged him, silently telling him to continue, that it was okay to talk about him. “And Sam’s right, you know. She’s just a kid. So…I dunno. I wanna help. I wanna do something right. And catching them would help. It’s right. Right?”

You nodded firmly. “I understand where they’re coming from. Karli’s just trying to help the world. But she’s doing it wrong. And that I know for absolute certainty. Which is good, I guess. I was talking to Sam early and I mentioned not knowing my right from my left recently. It’s good I know something, huh? And for you it should be easy telling your right from your left.” You joked, tracing the gold lines on his metal arm. “I guess you’re just gonna have to stay besides me to help me remember.”

Looking up, you found Bucky staring at you with something you recognized in his eyes, but didn’t want to name. “Three hours, forty two minutes and thirty one seconds.”

“What?”

“That’s how long I didn’t talk to you. It was too long.”

You sighed, ducking your head. “Bucky, I’m sorry-”

“I’m sorry. For anything and everything I’ve ever done wrong. I won’t mention the plane or anything we’ve talked about until you bring it up first. I promise. Just…just don’t ignore me anymore? I'm not sure I can handle it for much longer.”

You nodded, watching your fingertips dance along his scruffy jaw. “I won’t.” He caught your wrist, opening his mouth, before shaking his head and closing it. “What?”

He shook his head again. “Not until you bring it up.”

“We will talk, James. I promise.”

“You don’t have to explain. I get it. I really do. It’s okay. As long as we’re okay for right now, I can hold it in a bit longer.”

You nearly asked him what he was holding in, but you quickly shoved the question out of your mind, knowing it would take you down a conversation you couldn’t possibly have right then. “How long do you think we have?”

He shrugged. “I dunno. Zemo just said that it’s this afternoon. Why?”

“I started reading The Great Gatsby on the plane. I’ve got it on my phone. It kinda reminds me of you. Do you-do you think we have time to read some? Only if you want, I mean. Like we used to do in Wakanda?”

He grinned and nodded, scooting up on the bed and flopping down into the pillows. You smiled back, following his lead. Once you were comfortable, your phone out with the chapter you were on, Bucky scooted closer, laying his head on your stomach, hugging your waist. 

“Is this okay?”

Your fingers found home in his hair and you nodded when he looked up at you for an answer. “Yeah. It’s perfect, Buckaroo.”

[just-dreaming-marvel]

Safe

MAIN MASTERLIST

Tony Stark x Fem!Reader 

Word Count: 3,870ish

Request: Hi so this is my first time actually talking about this but I have PTSD from when I went to a party and 2 guys sexually assaulted me. I think about it a lot epically when I'm in crowds and such thinking they may be near me. I know Tony deals with PTSD but from a different situations and I was wondering how he would help his girlfriend with it? & I just really wanna feel safe when it's so hard for me to right now 

Warnings: sexual assault (not explicit), mention of rape and rape kit, PTSD

Notes: I hope that did this request justice. Please read carefully. The first “section” (divided by the ~~~) tells about the sexual assault incident. It doesn’t go too in depth. But if you don’t feel comfortable reading it, please skip that part and read the rest. (If you chose to skip that part, begin reading after the first ~~~.)

You couldn’t stop the tears from cascading down your cheeks. Even though you knew how it looked, especially as you sat in the corner of the subway car. Trying to get yourself to disappear from the world. Mascara had joined your tears cause you hadn’t thought to wear a waterproof type. Why would you? You never thought that it would happen to you. Yes, you’ve heard the stories, you’d been warned, and you even knew people who had it happen to you. But maybe you didn’t think it could ever since you became an Avenger. Ever since you’d meet Tony and he promised to protect you forever.

You went to the party knowing that you couldn’t drink, at least not very much. There was an important mission tomorrow, everyone on the team was needed. That was also the reason why you didn’t want to go to the party at first. But Tony had convinced you, saying that you needed to hang out with your old friends.

The old friends had met you in front of where the party was. Greeting you with large smiles and hugs. The first few hours were fine. But the people got drunker and the music got louder. And before you knew it you had been separated from your friends. Two guys were next to you, basically on top of you because of how crowded the space was.

They both tried to get you to go someplace else with them. You kept refusing. They kept pushing. Eventually, they didn’t care to get you into a more secluded setting. They shoved a drink down your throat, almost immediately putting you in a dazed state. One of them went behind you while the other stayed in front. They sexually assaulted you right then and there. With no one caring. One was always holding you up with a hand around your mouth, so that the other could be inside you. Then they would switch or join the other.

Slowly, they were moving you to the side of the room. You didn’t know what to do, how to react. You were in such a state of shock that all your training went out the window. Whatever they gave you wasn’t helping as well. They enjoyed you for far too long before literally tossing you in the alley outside of where you were.

There you laid, trying to get yourself to move. Eventually you did. As you got up, you noted your lack of undergarments. All you had on was your dress. Your purse was missing as well. Your whole body was shaking as you headed out of the alley to the nearest subway station.

You hadn’t even noticed the tears until you were sitting in the subway car. Getting weird looks. You didn’t care though. All you wanted to do was go home and wash this night away.

~~~

“Sir, it appears Miss L/N is back,” JARVIS informed Tony. He was up late in his lab, not being able to sleep without you safely in the Tower.

“Thanks, J,” Tony responded. “Tell her—“

“There’s something wrong.” Tony’s head snapped up. JARVIS had never spoken like that. Spoken with just concern. “I’m bringing her to you.”

Tony rushed to the elevator, already knowing not to question JARVIS. He waited anxiously for the elevator to open. And when it did, his heart completely shattered. You were hugging yourself, pushed up against the corner of the elevator. You were on the ground, your face a mess.

“Y/N!” Tony exclaimed. 

You flinched. You looked up at him, but you weren’t seeing him. Your eyes were red and glassed over, and not just because of the tears you were shedding. Tony crouched down in front of you, careful not to get into your space.

“Honey… wanna tell me what’s going on?” You shook your head, still not looking at him. “Alright, that’s okay. Can I help you up? I think you need to be checked out.”

“No!” You squeaked, pushing yourself further into the corner.

“Y/N, I’m not going to hurt you. Have I ever?”

You breathed raggedly, trying to get your brain to form coherent thoughts. “N-noo…”

“Then can I carry you out of the elevator?”

It took you a moment, but eventually you nodded. Tony let out a breath of relief before quickly getting his arms situated to pick you up. As he did, your dress moved up, revealing that you had no underwear on. Tony’s heart clenched and he had to repress a growl building in his throat. You didn’t need to tell him what happened anymore, he could easily guess. And after he was done helping you, he was going to make sure whoever did this to you paid.

You were trembling in his arms as he carried you out of the elevator and into his lab. Tony set you down on a clean work bench and watched you curl in on yourself. He turned to his monitors, taking a deep breath before he freaked out. He typed quickly on his keyboard, notifying Wanda and Natasha of the situation and to hurry on up to the lab. He then contacted the Tower’s female doctor, requesting her to the lab immediately. 

Wanda and Natasha were in the lab faster than Tony had expected. He had moved to your side, trying to figure out what to do. You were still crying and partially dazed. 

“Y/N,” Wanda called sweetly, appearing next to your head. “You’re in shock. May I help you?”

“I… I don’t know…” you mumbled.

“I won’t do anything without your permission. I just want you to feel some peace, get some rest.”

“….okay….”

“Before Wanda does anything,” Natasha cut in. She paused, briefly glancing at the other two. “We need your verbal consent to do a rape kit.”

You clenched your eyes shut as a sob tore through your whole being. Your heart was racing dangerously as you began to struggle to breath.

“Sir, it seems that Y/N is panicking,” JARVIS said.

“No, shit, J!” Tony responded. “Hey, honey, hey.” He bent down to be closer to your face. “I need you to breath or to allow Wanda to help you. It’s your choice. Nothing will be done without your consent.”

Tony gripped your hands close and ever so lovingly. You allowed yourself to look into Tony’s pleading brown eyes. You knew that he would never hurt you, he never had. Shakily, you nodded.

“Yes,” you rasped. “Help me.”

Tony pulled your hands to his lips, kissing them. “Of course, sweetheart.”

“Y/N, we need your verbal consent for the rape kit,” Natasha reminded, gently.

“Okay,” you breathed out. “You can do the rape kit.”

Wanda’s red streams of power floated around your head, putting you into a peaceful, dreamless sleep. And that’s when Tony let loose. He turned around and threw the items off his desk with a shout. 

“Tony! Tony!” Natasha exclaimed, moving to stop the billionaire. She grabbed him from behind, turning him around and pulling him in for a hug.

“I failed her,” Tony cried softly. “I failed to protect her.”

“You didn’t do anything. No one could have seen this coming.”

“Excuse me,” the doctor exited the elevator. “I was called up here.”

“Yes, yes,” Tony nodded, putting his sunglasses over his eyes. “The patient, Y/N, is on the table. She’s given verbal consent for a rape kit and I would like her blood to be drawn. I want to see if she was drugged.”

“Cause there should have been more bruises and fight marks,” Natasha whispered, putting the pieces together.

She knew you. She trained with you. You were capable of taking down Steve and Bucky on your best day. How did you not fight this? Natasha and Tony both knew you would have, so there had to be something that prevented you from doing so.

“Alright, I’ll get right to work.”

~~~

When you began coming to, you noticed how badly your head was pounding. You were confused initially, at your surroundings. The white and gray walls. The twin bed and the monitors beeping. But then it all came flooding back to you. You gasped, sitting up dramatically and frantically looking around the room. The monitor beside you began beeping faster and louder.

“Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,” Tony said, rushing into the room. He sat on the edge of your bed and set his hands on your upper arms. “Breathe, honey, breathe. You’re in the med-bay, you’re safe.”

“I… they…” You stuttered as you tried to catch your breath and your racing thoughts. “I should have… I could have…”

“Whatever you’re thinking, sweetheart, I need you to stop. It was not your fault. You were drugged.”

“I-I know… they stuffed it down my throat… I… I kept saying no… But there was two of them…”

“You don’t have to talk about it right now,” Tony cupped your cheeks, brushing his calloused thumbs across your cheeks to catch the tears. “I don’t want you to get worked up when you’ve just gone through a trauma.”

“I… I… they…” You were getting worked up, which was definitely something you did not need right now.

“Sssshhhh,” Tony coed. “You’re okay, you’re safe now.”

“Good morning,” the doctor greeted, walking into the room. “How are we feeling this morning?”

“I… I don’t know how to answer that,” you responded quietly.

The doctor gave a sympathetic smile. “That’s to be expected. Are you hurting anywhere?”

You sucked in your lip and thought about it. You did hurt. Your heart, your head. Every area they touched burned, like a phantom pain. But do you tell them that? Do you freak them out and worry them more? Or do you lie?

“I… uh…” You stuttered. “It…” The doctor and Tony eyed each other, worriedly. “Um… y-yes…”

Both the doctor and Tony were surprised at how you were actually honest with them. But they weren’t going to question it.

“Okay,” the doctor jot something down on the tablet she was holding. “Do you mind sharing where exactly you’re feeling the pain?”

“I… um… no…” you said.

“That’s okay. I’ll just order you a general painkiller, hopefully that will help.”

“Is it okay if I take her to our room?” Tony wondered.

“Yes, I can check in on her there and she would be more comfortable, I’m guessing.”

“Please,” you pleaded quietly. 

You needed some place more private and where you felt safe. Tony and yours shared room had always been your safe place. Tony had even shared with you that he felt the same after you had moved in. In that room you two had shared very intimate moments. Physically, emotionally, mentally. It was a place where both of you could let your guard down and completely be yourselves.

Tony leaned down and placed a kiss to the top of your head. “I’ll go get a wheelchair, sweetheart.”

Tony quickly grabbed a wheelchair and gently placed you in the chair. He took the blanket that he had laid on you when you were on the table, and placed it on you. You curled onto the chair, pulling the blanket around you. He thanked the doctor before pushing you to the bedroom. 

Once you were there, Tony placed you onto the bed. He helped you under the covers before sitting beside you.

“What can I help you with, dear?” Tony asked softly. He took your hand, rubbing his thumb along the top of it. “Do you need anything? Food? Water?” 

“Actually… a shower…” you responded. “I need to wash all this off me.”

“Okay, okay. Let me go get it all set up and started and then I’ll help you.” 

He rushed off before you could get the courage to tell him that you didn’t want his help. Not that you didn’t appreciate it. But you couldn’t stand the thought of him, or any other man for that matter, touching your skin or see you naked. Tony was back faster than you thought he would be. He didn’t take any notice of your glossy eyes as he picked you up, took you into the bathroom, and set you on the edge of the tub.

“I’m going to help you out of your clothes, okay?” Tony was careful, making sure that he had your permission before he did anything.

“N-noo,” you squeaked. “I… sorry…”

Every time Tony thought his heart couldn’t shatter anymore, you’d do something to prove him wrong. “Okay, honey. That’s okay. I’ll just leave the door ajar and be outside if you need anything.” He placed a quick kiss on your forehead. “Right outside.”

Then he left you. You slowly removed your clothes, hating seeing the dress you used to love. And the skin you used to be so confident in and let Tony worship didn’t physical look different, but it sure felt different. 

When you stepped under the streaming, hot water, you let it pound against your back. You were unable to move for longer than you cared to admit, so stuck inside your mind. Reliving those horrific memories that were last night.

“Honey,” Tony’s voice filled the shower, with help from JARVIS, “your heart rate is escalating. Are you okay?”

“Y-yeah-h,” you replied.

“Are you sure?”

No, you thought. But you weren’t about to tell him that. “I’ll be out in a minute!”

You washed your hair before you began to scrub your body. And scrub and scrub. Until your skin was red. You turned off the water before stepping out and drying yourself. Thankfully, Tony had left clothes for you. A pair of his boxers and your favorite shirt of his.

While you had been in the shower, Tony was leaning his back against the wall next to the door. Trying to keep his tears at bay. He couldn’t let you know how this was effecting him, because he couldn’t imagine how bad this was all effecting you.

When you finally came out of the bathroom, the emptiness in your eyes scared Tony the most. He wordlessly helped you into bed before getting into the bed himself. He moved over to you and tried to bring you into him, only for you to immediately tense up.

“I’m sorry,” you rasped. You clenched your eyes shut as you tried not to release any tears. “I’m so sorry.”

Tony’s arms immediately retracted. “Please don’t apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s going to take time and I’ll be here every step of the way.”

~~~

The nightmares that occurred made you feel so bad. You woke up Tony every night. But all he would say is that you did the same for him, so he’s just returning the favor. It was the truth. Tony’s PTSD used to keep him up at night, but with you and therapy he had been gaining positive strides. So he was determined to help you do the same. He found you a therapist, which took some time for you to open up to, but you did. He didn’t touch you without your permission, and made sure everyone else did the same. 

It took you almost six months for you to get physical with Tony again. But there was no funny business about it, you two were still taking it slow. You were slowly healing, slowly feeling safe again. Though sometimes for every step forward you took, you felt like you would then take four steps back. There was one thing you hadn’t made progress with at all yet. Crowds.

Crowds had you terrified. Always checking your surroundings for the men that had harmed you. Or for any person that might think of doing the same. That had gotten you taken off missions, for the foreseeable future. You had barely left the tower since that night. Only getting fresh air from the balconies and rooftop. Tony, because of you, had even stopped hosting parties. Team movie nights even took a while to start back up. Not wanting to rush you. But you had finally began to warm up to the team as a whole again.

You had successfully avoided crowds, parties, and galas of any sorts for months. Well, until the government had decided to honor the Avengers and it became a requirement for you to show up to the celebration gala.

“I’m going to be by your side all night,” Tony promised. 

He had a hand above your knee as you two sat close together in one of the limos taking the Avengers to the gala. You two were decked out in some of your best attire, which could usually lift your mood because of how extremely handsome Tony looked. But it was failing to tonight. Your palms were sweaty, you kept having to wipe them against your dress. Your heart was trying to not race and you were trying to keep your mind from spiraling out of control.

“Hey, look at me,” Tony gently directed. You let out a shaky breath as you did. He could see the fear in your eyes, while you could see the overwhelming love in his. “Natasha and Clint have done a sweep of the building. JARVIS, Maria, and I have checked over the guest list. Everything’s going to me alright.”

“I… I don’t know—“

“We don’t have to stay long. After they hand us that bloody paperweight, we’re out, okay? I have Happy on stand-by with the limo to take us wherever you want. Plus, I won’t leave your side.”

You swallowed. “Let’s get out of this car before I change my mind.”

Tony pecked your lips. “You got it.” 

Tony exited out the door on his side, the flashing lights of the paparazzi beginning. You took another shaky, deep breath as Tony ran around to your side to open the door. He held his hand out to you, firmly taking yours once it was placed. He pulled you from the car and guided you through the crowd of people. Yes, they were all behind barriers. But they were shouting your name, shouting questions. It wasn’t a secret that you hadn’t appeared on a mission, let alone outside the Tower, in months.

Tony paused you two a few times for pictures. Always keeping you tightly to his side. He’d press a kiss somewhere on your open skin and whisper about how good you were doing and how proud he was of you. You kept taking deep breaths and tried to focus solely on Tony. He noticed each breath, responded with a gentle squeeze or a kiss.

Finally, you arrived inside. It was a large area, very grand with a stage and set tables on the other end of it. With a dance floor in the middle and a bar on the side. You would have appreciated it all more if there weren’t so many people. The further you entered, the harder time you had not checking your surroundings. The itch to do so was driving you mad. The moment you turned your head to check over your shoulder, Tony turned it to face him.

“Your breathings picking up, sweetheart,” he whispered. “I need you to match mine.”

“I—I—I can’t… we need to go home,” you stammered, letting your fears get the best of you.

“Yes, you can. We’ve been working on this, we’ll be gone within the hour.”

“I…” Your head snapped towards the sound of a booming voice, causing you to almost jump out of your skin.

“Woah there.” Tony held onto you. “It’s just Thor telling the congress people a story. You’re okay.”

“I really don’t think I can do this, Tony.”

“What do you always say when I begin to panic?”

“That’s different. You—“

“No arguing. What do you tell me?”

“I tell you that you can get through it. That I will go through it will you.”

“And?”

“I tell you how proud I am of you and how much I love you.”

“And what do I tell you?”

“That I can do it. That you’re proud of how far I’ve come and how you’re going through it with me.”

“Exactly. The fact that you got out of the limo was a huge accomplishment. And that you’re standing in this building with people all around you is an even bigger one. Honey, you have made so much progress even just tonight. That makes me so very proud of you.”

“But I still don’t know how much longer I can do this for.”

“That’s fine. Completely fine. How about we see if a dance will help? We’ll be able to see the whole room together, keep an eye out. If that doesn’t work, then we’ll leave. Who cares about this dumb award anyway?”

“One dance… I’ll try one dance.”

Tony smiled as he pulled you onto the dance floor. He held you close as he twirled you around. The both of you checked your surroundings. You knew that nothing would happen with Tony with you, your brain just didn’t want to believe it. No matter what.

“Tony,” you rasped once the next song started. Your head was spiraling and your heart was still on the verge of racing. “I… I really think I need to go.”

“Okay, okay. We’ll send a message to the team in the car,” Tony responded. “Let’s go.”

He led you out, calling Happy on the way. You let out a breath of relief at the fact he was taking you the back way so that no one would make a fuss over it. Thankfully, Happy was already ready and waiting. He opened the door for the two of you. You sent him a grateful smile, which he reciprocated. The moment Happy shut the door, you leaned heavily into Tony. You hadn’t realized how much of your energy was being used to try and keep yourself calm.

“Just relax, baby,” Tony whispered, holding you close. “Nothing’s going to happen to you in here. I’ve got you.”

“Where to Boss?” Happy asked. 

Tony looked down at you. He smirked when he realized that you had passed out. “Home, Hap. Let’s go home.”

~~~

Tony carried you into the bedroom. Before the incident, he would have been able to change you out of your clothes without permission. But now he needed to ask you, he didn’t want to push you over the edge.

“Sweetheart,” he whispered, gently shaking you. You groaned. “I need you to wake up, baby. You need to get changed so that we can go to bed.”

“M’kay,” you mumbled, eyes fluttering, failing to open.

“Just wait here, I’ll grab everything.”

All you could do was nod in response. Tony rushed around, changing himself before grabbing the things he needed for you. He told you every move he was going to make before he made it, not wanting to freak you out. Once you were all ready, he pulled you into bed with him. He pressed a kiss to your head and held you close, thinking that you were already asleep.

“Thank you, Tones,” you murmured, practically moving to lay yourself on top of him, “for always keeping me safe.”

“Of course, honey, of course.”

TAGLIST INFORMATION

[lenissa]

Motion Sickness (Wanda Maximoff x Reader)

Masterlist

Warnings: angst

Summary: After years on the run Wanda finally returns to the compound. But what you realize then is not to your favor…

Word Count: 1.3K

A/N: This fic is inspired by the song „Motion Sickness“ by Phoebe Bridgers. It takes place at the beginning of Infinity War after Vision gets attacked in Scotland. Feedback is as always welcome!

Good reading!

————

Wanda Maximoff.

She was your everything. She was your love, your happiness, your anchor, the only normality in your unusual life as an avenger. She was yours.

„They‘re coming“ Rhodey announces while watching the security cameras of the compound. You sigh and close the files you were reading before. „Let‘s welcome them, shall we?“ You pat your thighs, a forced smile on your lips, and stand up from your place. Rhodey tells you how Steve and Natasha came just in time to save Wanda and Vision from „the children of Thanos“. At the mention of the redhead you squint. You haven‘t seen Wanda for a year now.

„Wait what? Wanda and Vision? How-“ Your teammate, who became a good friend in the last months, looks at you apologetically. You both have often been alone with each other at the compound, and he became some sort of big brother to you.

The door opens mid-sentence and interrupts your questions. Natasha and Steve walk up to you and the Russian hugs you briefly. „Already missed me?�� You chuckle and roll your eyes playfully. „Sure, I was counting seconds until your return.“ Nat smiles silly at you and you mirror the gesture, but then your eyes wander around the room as the door opens again. This time Vision stumbles into the room, a hand on his belly wound, with Wanda and Sam on each side to support him. Wanda has her hand around his waist and her eyebrows stay in a worried expression. You gasp at the scene that unfolds before your eyes.

You have lost contact over a year ago. Now you know why.

————

When Wanda joined the team, she was a broken girl, pursued from loss and pain. Therefore the team didn’t know how to deal with her, empathy not known as a strength of the Avengers. But you sympathized with her, and you wanted to show her that she didn‘t have to go through all her pain on her own. So you showed her affection.

You trained with her, so she was not alone, you cooked with her her favourite meals, you offered her to watch her TV shows and movies together. On her worst days you were the shoulder she could cry on, and in her worst nights you let her sleep beside you to help her endure her nightmares.

And with a lot of your patience she opened. She healed slowly, with you on her side. And the more she opened, the more you liked her. And at some point, you started liking her not only in a friendly way. And so did she feel for you, too. Casual film nights became dates and dates developed into a relationship. And you were both happy, because you found what you needed in the other one.

And then the Sokovian Accords were presented.

It broke your heart that you had to join the opposite team of Wanda. But you couldn‘t help it, it fit your morals better at that time. At the airport you managed to shun a direct fight, though Wanda almost took your and Tony‘s team down all by herself. And after she and her teammates got caught, you, Nat and Steve did everything to liberate them. When you got her out of the raft, the terrible strait jacket and collar, you realized that you were fugitives now.

You wanted to be on the run together with Wanda, but she insisted on going alone. In the first months you kept in touch. She reported every time she changed her stop and told you about her status.

And then she stopped calling.

Now you know that your relationship stopped at this point, too.

————

When Sam greets you, you startle and tear you gaze away from Wanda. You nod at him, take a deep breath and clear your throat. „Wanda. Vision“ Wanda takes a step closer to you and when you meet her eyes, you can see tears forming in them. „(Y/n), I think-“ „Vision! We should check you, don‘t you think?“ You ignore Wanda‘s attempt to talk to you and walk in front of the synthezoid. Nat catches up with you and grips your hand. She squeezes your hand encouragingly and you look at her, biting the inner of your cheek. She mouths a „I‘m sorry“ and tries to comfort you somehow. But in your state that‘s hardly possible.

You thankfully give her a faint smile, but internally you feel nothing. No sadness, nor anger, no hurt, nothing. All the walls around your heart that Wanda and her love broke down so tediously were up once again.

————

„Are we done here?“ You raise your gaze around the team that is standing around Vision. Your voice is probably dry and fragile, but you don‘t care. You just need to get out of here. „I guess that‘s all we know for now.“ Steve pats Vision on the back. „Thank you. Captain Rogers.“

You roll your eyes at the gentle antics of the robot and move to leave the room. „I need some fresh air. Don‘t wait for me with dinner.“ You excuse yourself and jog through the compound to the next exit. Breathing becomes an issue with every step you make, and when you reach the exit door, you throw your weight harshly against the push door. You step out of the building and immediately fiddle with the closure of your vest. „I can‘t breathe-“ you lean against the railing of the roof and try to catch your breath. With long gasps you try to breathe in as much air as possible.

When you hear the door lock click, you turn around. „No.“ You shake your head firmly. „(Y/n), please.“ Wanda practically begs you to let her talk and she almost get what she wants when her lips start to shiver, but you turn around again and keep insistent. „I get it. He‘s nice, strong and makes you feel safe. Now go.“ You watch the twilight in the city to distract yourself from her eyes. Eyes that were meant to throw loving glances at you forever, not some red vibranium microwave.

„I don‘t understand I-“ Wanda sighs, „scream at me, (Y/n). Blame me, just do anything! I deserve it-“ „I can‘t.“ You mumble and the redhead takes a step closer to you. „Wha-“ „I can‘t!“ Wanda jumps at your sudden raise of your voice. „I hate you. I hate you for what you did, and that I missed you like a little kid all this time we were apart. But the worst thing? I hate that despite all I still love you.“

Tears run down Wanda‘s cheeks and she sobs while speaking. „Talk to me or someone about it-“ You chuckle humorlessly „what? i go to some kind of hypnotherapist and all I feel since Germany is healed? Wanda-“ you finally turn around again, „I- I feel like i have a motion sickness and i‘m not able to breathe or to move or feel anything. But forget it. There are no words in the English language I can scream to drown you out.“ You pause, but only because your sobs make it hard to breathe and you are not far away from hyperventilating.

After a short moment of silence you gather yourself one last time. „Did you even notice you lost your Sokovian accent?“ You look at Wanda expectantly, but she closes her eyes as more and more tears roll down her cheeks. „You speak with an English one now. It‘s too late Wanda, I lost you a long time ago.“ You wipe your tears off that began to flow and take a shaky breath in a desperate attempt to calm yourself.

„I wish you a happy life with him, I really do. I guess I should just surrender to the sound of your laughter at his jokes and not mine anymore.“

„(Y/n), dinner‘s ready!“ You hear Natasha calling your name from somewhere distant in the kitchen. „You heard it, I gotta go. Take care, Wanda.“ And with that, you leave.

Every motion you dare to make making you feel even more sick.

————

Taglist: @mrs-avenger3000

[saltybaltic]

hello! if you’re taking requests as of right now, could I request a fic involving an extremely shy avenger!reader having an enormous crush on Nat and it being a running joke among the team because she doesn’t have a clue when it’s so painfully obvious to everyone else? I don’t care how it ends, go wild.... (take that as you will)

Natasha Romanoff X Reader - CONFIDENCE

Natasha Romanoff / Black Widow X FemReader Fanfic

Synopsis: You have a huge crush on one of your team mates but you’re too shy to ever do anything about it. Fortunately, people have noticed and you might be about to get some help.

Warnings: None

Words: 989

“You know she likes you right?”

Natasha’s hands stilled on the keyboard for a second, looking up at her friend with a frown, “Who?”

Scoffing at her answer, Clint took a swig of his coffee before responding, “Who? Like you don’t know.”

“Forgive me, I thought everyone on this team liked me.” shot back Natasha, giving him a sarcastic smile and going back to her work on the laptop.

Clint rolled his eyes and placed his mug on the coffee table, flopping down onto the sofa beside the red head and nudging her computer playfully with his foot to get her attention again, “You’re being deliberately obtuse.”

“And you’re being deliberately annoying.” muttered Natasha, shifting over slightly on the sofa so she was nestled in the corner out of his reach.

“Fine, you win.” conceded Clint, raising his hands in surrender before reaching for his coffee again, “But you should do something about it and stop letting that poor girl work herself into a fluster around you.”

Of course Natasha knew exactly who he was talking about. Everyone on the team seemed to know. In fact the only person who didn’t seem to realise you had a huge crush on The Black Widow was, well, you.

You had always been shy, and although joining The Avengers had succeeded in bringing you out of your shell a little, there was still certain social situations that you just couldn’t handle very well. So it was no surprise that when a beautiful woman flirted with you on occasion, you tended to find yourself reduced to a blushing, bumbling mess.

Natasha wasn’t cruel. She wasn’t deliberately toying with you or taking any pleasure in your squirming. Okay maybe that wasn’t entirely true. Did she find it cute when you would duck your head and fumble over your words whenever she sent a flirtatious comment your way? A little. But she wasn’t doing it to mess with you. She wanted to challenge you, encourage you, dare you to make a move. Because despite what you might be willing to believe, she liked you too. Ever since you had joined the team she had become quite fond of you, finding your quick wit, humour and kindness to others rather endearing. She saw the way you interacted with the others; laughing and making jokes, teasing one another playfully, and generally looking after each other. You had become something of a weakness of hers, finding her eyes drawn to you around the compound and just watching from a distance. All Natasha wanted was for you to finally gather the courage to interact with her in the same way, and she definitely wasn’t the only one on the team that was desperate for you to realise you had a crush.

At much the same time as Clint was questioning Natasha upstairs, you found yourself being given the workout of your life in the gym with Steve. Now they weren’t exactly giving out slots on the team to anyone off the street so you knew you possessed some desirable abilities, but going toe to toe with Captain America was a challenge for anyone on their best day.

Gesturing with your hands for a time out, you sucked in a breath and gripped your waist where you could feel a stitch forming, “Jesus Steve, let’s take five, you’re kicking my ass.”

“You’re doing great though.” encouraged Steve with a small chuckle, tossing you a water bottle from the corner of the gym mat, “I can tell you’ve been practicing.”

You shrugged, “Well as the newest team member, I feel I had some catching up to do.”

“Don’t talk like that, you’re already where you need to be.” reassured Steve, walking closer as he seemed to hesitate for a moment before deciding to speak, “You know, it wouldn’t hurt to have a little more self confidence.”

“I have enough confidence.”

Steve nodded slowly, obviously not wanting to cross a line but still wanting to say something, “Around me? Sure. But you should be more confident around others.”

“Like who?” you asked, watching Steve carefully over your water bottle as you took a few gulps.

“Like Natasha.”

You almost choked on your water, “W-Why ... errr ... why do you say that?”

“You like her, right?”

Scratching at the back of your neck uncomfortably, you tossed the drink to one side, “That’s enough of a break, let’s go again.”

“Hey.” Steve grabbed your arm to stop you from heading back into the centre of the mat and offered a reassuring smile, “Look, I’m just saying. Try not to be so shy around her, she’s not as scary as she’d have you believe. Plus, between you and me? I’m pretty sure she likes you too.”

“I don’t ...” you trailed off in thought for a second. Did you like Natasha? You definitely admired her. You envied her confidence and sass. She was an impressive woman, not to mention absolutely gorgeous. And you couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed and flattered whenever she would flirt with you. It drove you crazy with frustration how shy you could be around her and that you were never able to say or do anything in response. It wasn’t lack of desire that was stopping you, of course you wanted to flirt back with her. Who wouldn’t?

A frown started to develop on your face the longer you thought about it, realisation suddenly dawning on you. It was so obvious now. You didn’t just admire Natasha, Steve was right - you did like her.

He seemed to see the lightbulb moment as it unfolded, patting you on the shoulder reassuringly with a small laugh as he motioned you back towards where you had been sparring, “Don’t worry about it, just something to think about. Now come on, show me what you’re made of.”

You let yourself process the discussion with Steve for a few days, keeping mostly to yourself as you thought about it in depth. You almost felt stupid for taking so long to realise, so much of the past few weeks making sense now. There had been more than a few occasions where a team mate had made a teasing comment, all in good fun of course, about your blushes and stuttering around Natasha. You had assumed it was just banter amongst friends about your chronic shyness but now it was painfully obvious that you were the last person in the building to realise you had a crush on Natasha.

Although you had given yourself adequate time to consider your revelation, you hadn’t exactly formulated a plan to deal with it. Unfortunately it seemed that you weren’t going to be given any more time to come up with something, when your quiet evening alone on the sofa was interrupted by the very woman who had been consuming your thoughts.

“Mind if I join you?” asked Natasha, plonking herself down on the sofa beside you without waiting for a response.

Shifting your attention from the movie on the television, you looked across at the other woman and swallowed, already feeling your mouth becoming dry as you silently shook your head.

“What you watching?”

You blinked, taking a moment to inhale a calming breath and internally encouraging yourself before engaging your brain to speak, “I-I don’t know really, it was just on and I kind of got sucked in.”

Natasha nodded, glancing at the television briefly as she leaned back against the sofa. Her arm lay across the cushions, bent at the elbow as she raised her hand and rested her chin on it. Her eyes drifted back to meet yours, watching you carefully, “The boys say I make you nervous. Is that true?”

Panic.

Your first instinct was to run, heart hammering against your rib cage as for the first time, Natasha put you on the spot. You could already feel the heat rising in your cheeks and there was a distinct possibility your palms were sweating.

“I errr ...” you took another breath to compose yourself, closing your eyes for a moment as you tried to remain calm, “I suppose it is, yeah.”

Natasha’s lips turned up slightly at that, her chin still balanced on her hand as she studied you, “You shouldn’t be nervous.”

“I shouldn’t?”

Shaking her head, Natasha broke out into a proper smile, “I mean don’t get me wrong, you look cute when you’re nervous.”

At her comment you had to look away, biting down on your lip and pressing the back of your hand to your cheek to confirm the fact that yes, you were definitely getting flushed now.

Natasha chuckled quietly, “Yeah, there it is.”

Hoping to take Steve’s advice and scrambling for all the courage you could muster, you looked back at the other woman and cocked your head curiously, “Do you just enjoy toying with me or ...?”

“Or what?” asked Natasha, the subtle smirk on her face suggesting she knew exactly what you were asking. After a few seconds of silence, she took the initiative and filled in the blanks for you, not wanting to put you on the spot too much given that this was already the longest the two of you had ever spoken, “I’m not toying with you ... I was just trying to gauge whether the rumours were true and if I should ask you out on a date.”

You had to fight not to gasp in surprise, sure that it would probably be the most embarrassing response you could have, “A ... a date? With me?”

“Well I don’t see anyone else around.” joked Natasha, gesturing around the empty room, “Unless you don’t want to.”

Shaking your head perhaps a little too eagerly, you turned your body to face her properly, “No that. Um. That would be nice.”

“Great.” answered Natasha, shooting you a reassuring smile as she went to get up from the sofa, “How does tomorrow night sound?”

“I ... that would. Err. Sure. Tomorrow. Good. Yes.” you could barely speak now, sure this must be some kind of fever dream and it couldn’t actually be happening.

Natasha simply laughed, standing up and leaning over to squeeze your shoulder gently before turning to make her way out of the room, “Yeah you’re still cute. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Unable to do or say anything else, you silently watched her walk away, unable to quite believe what had just unfolded. Natasha Romanoff had asked you out on a date.

As if finally realising what had just happened, you couldn’t help but break out into a smile. If it meant Natasha had finally asked you out, maybe all that teasing from the rest of the team had been good for something after all.

[maximons]

Without You

Summary: Everything seems to be going alright for Wanda Maximoff, but a mission gone horribly awry makes everything crash and burn.

Word Count: 3,101

Genre: Angst

Requested?: Yes

Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, mentions of blood, burns, scarring

A/N: Alright kids, you ready for angst time? My first full out angst fic, oh boy. This ones got no happy ending guys, so do with that what you will. This takes place during Civil War, so spoilers...? I guess? I’d say Happy Reading, but I don’t think you guys will be that happy by the end of this sooo good luck!

Lagos.

That’s the place where everything in Wanda’s life fell apart. Or at least fell apart even further than it had before.

Some of the team were out on a mission. You guys finally managed to track down Rumlow and his gang after about a year of searching. Everything was going fairly well, yes there was some collateral damage, and things didn’t exactly go according to plan, but overall, it looked like you guys would come out of this with a win.

And then, it happened.

Wanda and you had begun to jog up to Steve’s location, where you saw him stare Rumlow down. Something in you just told you that this wasn’t going to go well. You looked at the scene in front of you, and then your gaze fell onto the building behind it. It was too close for comfort.

“Babe, I’m gonna go check that building.” You turned to your girlfriend. “Looks like there could be a lot of people in there, I’m gonna try to get them out.” She looked at you, and then to the building briefly. Part of her wanted to question why when the fight was happening out here, but she knew in your line of work things can be unpredictable.

She nodded. “Okay, be safe.” You nodded back with a small smile, and pecked her on the cheek.

“Always am.” With that, you ran off.

It was only about two or three minutes after you ran in when things went to hell.

Rumlow pulled a pin on his vest, and Wanda reacted as quickly as she could, capturing him mid explosion in her magic. She lifted him up, trying to get him as far away from the people below as possible, but she couldn’t hold it anymore. The explosion went off.

Blowing a huge hole into that building.

Wanda stood there, shocked for a moment over what just happened. Her hand came and slowly covered her mouth, mind going over all the damage she just caused. She vaguely heard Steve calling for fire and rescue, and then it hit her.

You were in there.

“Y/n...” She whispered, still in a state of shock, but she quickly snapped out of it and sprang into action. “Y/n!” She heard Steve yell for her to wait, but she didn’t care. She took off, flying up and landed in one of the building’s destroyed floors.

She did her best to ignore the carnage around her, carnage she caused. She pushed down the bile that was rising in her throat, and continued her search for you. 

And then she found you.

You were a super soldier, so luckily you didn’t die from the blast, she could still feel your pulse. But you didn’t look good.

You were lying on the charred floor, unconscious. Half of your suit was burned off, leaving nasty burns all on your arm and torso, some even creeping up your neck and face. Blood also dripped down from an open wound on your temple.

Wanda couldn’t bring herself to care about your appearance, though. You were still alive, and that’s the main thing she cared about right now.

“Don’t worry.” She sobbed out, hand gently caressing your unburned cheek. “You’re okay...you’re gonna be okay...” She tore her gaze away from you for a minute, and looked around. Tears falling at the sight of multiple bodies, people who weren’t as lucky as you.

People who were dead because of her.

“...I’m so sorry...”

The next week was chaos.

You were brought to the compound’s medical facility immediately, doctors working fast to try and save your life. They managed to stabilize you, now it was just a waiting game as to when you would wake up. Wanda would visit you everyday, barely being able to leave your side. Steve managed to convince her that she needed to rest, saying that you wouldn’t want to see her neglecting her needs. She hesitantly complied, and finally went to her room to sleep for the night.

The next morning, the news started reporting the incident.

And of course they blamed her.

Logically, Wanda knew this wasn’t entirely her fault. Rumlow was the one who turned himself into a bomb. She was just trying to save the lives below. That thought brought her little comfort though.

She was still responsible for the lives lost in that building. She was still responsible for you, the love of her life, being severely injured and in a coma.

Maybe they were right.

Steve didn’t let her wallow in that thought for too long though, because he shut the TV off. He sat down and gave her one of his hope speeches, and she appreciated the effort, but she didn’t want to hear it.

“It’s my fault.” She whispered. “All of those people, dead because of me...and Y/n...” She trailed off, tears forming in her eyes. Steve placed a hand on her leg, trying to comfort her.

“You know...she doesn’t blame you, I know she doesn’t.”

“Maybe she should...they all should.”

Steve couldn’t get anything else out, as Vision phased in the room and told them of the arrival of Secretary Ross.

As if things couldn’t get any worse, he had told them about the Sokovia Accords. Wanda hated the idea, forcing heroes to register with the government, essentially making them puppets for them. She knew you would hate it too, you never were one to trust the government.

“Look, we understand where you’re coming from, but if it weren’t for us, there’d be a lot more blood spilled.” Sam argued.

“Tell that to the innocent civilians in that Lagos hospital building.” Ross argued back. “Oh wait, you can’t.”

“If it weren’t for Wanda, hundreds of people in the streets below would have been killed.” Steve cut in. “If it weren’t for Y/n, hundreds of more people would have been in that building.”

“And look where that landed her.”

Wanda had enough. She shot up from her chair, and stormed out of the room.

She went straight to your hospital room, your still unconscious body covered in bandages. She pulled up a chair beside your bed, hand going to grip yours. She tried to speak, but couldn’t bring herself to form the words. So she just rested her head on your joined hands and cried.

The next few weeks saw the Avengers falling apart, divided over the accords. Wanda was especially disappointed in Natasha’s decision, given that you two were best friends. 

Wanda hasn’t left the compound. Most of her time was spent visiting you and sleeping as best she could. Your burns had begun healing, but barely. They still left pretty nasty scars. Your breathing had improved, which satisfied the doctors. They had said you could wake up any moment now, Wanda just hoped it was soon.

The next day, Wanda walked into the kitchen to find Vision cooking. She found that odd, since she knew he didn’t eat, but he explained that he was making it for her. You used to cook for her a lot, and after a few disasters, you finally got the recipe down. Vision’s was no where near as good as yours, but she appreciates the effort.

After a conversation about their powers and their fear of them, Wanda volunteered to go to the store to pick up some paprika that would greatly help the dish. Vision stopped her.

“Vision...are you not letting me leave?”

“It’s a matter of safety.”

“I can handle myself.”

Vision stopped her again. “Not yours. Mr. Stark would like to avoid the possibility of another public incident.”

Wanda looked at the synthezoid in disbelief. “I’m not an out of control time bomb. It was an accident.”

“I know. I do, but...you powers are very unpredictable. You are also...vulnerable. My scanners have indicated you are, how you say, ‘on edge’. You have been ever since Miss L/n was admitted in the medical wing.”

Wanda’s gaze turned into a harsh glare. “I know that human emotion is a foreign concept to you Vision, but trust me, if your girlfriend was ever put in a coma because of you...being ‘on edge’ is the least you would be.”

Without waiting for a response, Wanda turned around and stormed off. She headed to the one place that her feet often dragged her to the last weeks. Your bedside. 

She sat and took a hold of your hand. She stared at you for a moment before she spoke. “Hey, baby. Things have been...hard without you to say the least. Not that this wouldn’t be hard anyway, but everything is falling apart. These stupid accords are ruining everything. Tony has become a government pet, Nat joining him, Steve is off doing who knows what, and now...I’m locked in.” She paused. “You know, as much as I wish more than anything that you were awake and by my side right now...part of me is glad that you wouldn’t have to see your family fall apart like this. It’d break your heart...” She stayed for a few more moments, staring at your face and taking in your features once again. She then leaned down to kiss your hand. “I love you.” With that, she left.

Later that night, Wanda was back in the main room of the compound. You still haven’t woken up, she just learned she was essentially on house arrest, so she was trying to find ways to find ways to distract herself. She was reading a book, when she heard a loud explosion go off outside. She walked over to the window to take a look, Vision joining her a few moments later.

“What is it?”

“Stay here please.”

Wanda was left alone for a moment, before she felt a presence behind her. She quickly grabbed hold of the knife on the table, and flinging it towards the new presence. She halted it when she saw who it was.

Clint.

The next few minutes passed by like a blur. Clint was convincing her to come help Steve, Vision came back in but was trapped, Wanda hesitated and Clint gave her one of those hope speeches. She was about to decline, before he said one last thing.

“You know, if Y/n was awake...I know she’d side with Steve, and she’d only hope you’d do the same.”

Was it manipulative? Possibly, but he was also right. You would have sided with Steve, no question. Doing what you could to help. She thought on it for a few more moments, before she nodded. They were about to leave before Vision broke free. The two men fought, and before she knew it, she was sending the synthezoid several floors down and into the ground. 

She went to her room, quickly packing her suit and anything else she thought she would need. She went back out to meet Clint, about to leave, but she stopped.

“Wait! I gotta see Y/n first.” 

Clint sighed, but knew he couldn’t deny her of this. “Alright, make it quick.”

She booked it to your hospital room. You were lying there, same as you have been for a while. She quickly surged forward grabbed your hand, not bothering to sit. She knew they didn’t have time.

“Alright, baby. I’m gonna go out for a bit, okay? I’m not sure when I’ll be back, but...I’m going to do what’s right. I’m going to fight. I finally ‘got off my ass’ as you would say.” She chuckled, but it held no real joy behind it. “I just hope you’d be proud of me...and I just hope that I can come back to see you-”

Wanda cut herself off when she felt you begin to move. All of a sudden your face shifted, and you began to turn your head. 

“Y/n?...”

You began to open your eyes slowly, head slowly lifting off your pillow. Your eyes looked around, trying to adjust to the brightness of the room. Before you could even look at Wanda though, you began coughing. 

Wanda rushed to poor you a glass of water, knowing your mouth would be dry from not using it for a while. She handed it to you, quickly, and you slowly raised your hand to take it. As you began to drink, Wanda couldn’t help but smile. You were finally awake. She was beyond relieved. She was put in a rough spot now, she knew she had to meet Clint so they could go, but...you were finally awake. She couldn’t leave you.

“Wanda, we gotta go!” She heard Clint yell, and without tearing her eyes away from you, she yelled back.

“In a minute! Y/n just woke up!”

She didn’t hear a response from the man, but she heard footsteps quickly making its way towards your room. 

You finished drinking your water and placed the cup on the bedside table. You began to try to sit up, but Wanda rushed to your side to help.

“Here you go, easy.”

When you fully sat up, you took in the appearance of the woman next to you. You smiled. “Thank you.”

“Of course.” She breathed out. You looked her in the eyes, smile still on both your faces. But, Wanda’s smile dropped instantly at the next words that came out of your mouth.

“Sorry, hi, I’m Y/n. You probably already knew that though.” You chuckled nervously. “Are you one of the nurses?”

Wanda froze. No. This couldn’t be happening. The doctors told her that Amnesia was a possibility since you hit your head on impact from the blast, but it never seemed like a real threat. She stared at you, jaw slacked for a few more moments.

“Um, hello?...Oh! Are you my doctor? Sorry, I didn’t mean to assume.”

Wanda snapped out of it when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned her head to see it was Clint. You spoke up again before she could say anything though.

“Oh, hey, are you a nurse? Or doctor?”

Realization filled Clint’s face, but he held it together. He simply shook his head.

“Oh...so, is someone supposed to help me or...?” You trailed off. 

Clint looked to Wanda, who was still in shock, tears beginning to form in her eyes. He knew he had to take over, get them out as soon as possible. “Sorry, Y/n. We’ll get your nurse to come and check on you. Glad to see you’re awake.” Before you could respond, he quickly rushed out of the room, pulling Wanda with him.

Wanda finally let herself break down, and cried in the van. She barely had time to process everything before they picked up a man name Scott and flew to the airport to meet Steve.

Steve broke down the plan and the team went separate ways to suit up and get in position. Except Wanda. Steve was about to go get himself ready, but paused when he saw the witch frozen in place.

“Wanda? You okay?” Wanda simply shook her head and looked up at him, he could see the tears in her eyes. “What happened?”

“Y/n woke up.”

Steve raised his eyebrows in shock. “She did? That’s great-” He was cut off when Wanda let out a sob. He then put two and two together, something was wrong. “...What was it?”

“She...doesn’t remember anything...doesn’t remember me...”

Steve sighed. He was saddened by the news as well, you and him were very close, both being super soldiers and all. He couldn’t even imagine what Wanda was going through in this moment though, so he put on a brave face. He went over to the witch and wrapped an arm around her. “Y/n is strong...when this is over, we’ll go see her and start-” Steve was cut off again when Wanda shook her head.

“Steve...you and I both know this isn’t gonna end with us just being able to go back...” She looked up at him. He was about to speak up again, when he heard Sam in his ear.

“Cap, Tony and Rhodey are flying in now. You good to go?” 

Steve looked to Wanda, knowing she heard him too since they all had coms. She nodded. “On my way.” He turned to leave, before giving Wanda one last look. “Whatever happens, it’ll be okay.”

It wasn’t.

The fight at the airport was beyond tiresome, and they lost. Steve and Bucky got away to handle the other Winter Soldiers, but the rest of the team was captured.

So now here she was, sitting in a cell in a high security prison in the middle of the ocean...with a straight jacket and shock collar on. Wanda couldn’t even be upset about it. She was numb. She’s already lost everything she possibly could. Her parents, her brother, her country, and now...you. She couldn’t bring herself to care whether or not she wasted away in this cell. Maybe she deserved to.

But of course, she couldn’t even have that for long, as Steve broke them out a few days later.

Up on the quinjet with Steve and the rest of the team, she sat alone, staring out the window watching the dark clouds pass by. After a few moments, she felt a presence next to her. She looked over to see who it was. Natasha.

“What are you doing here?” Wanda asked, looking back out the window. 

“It’s a long story.” She answered. “Steve told me what happened, I...I’m not even sure what to say. I am so sorry Wanda.” Wanda merely nodded, not trusting her voice right now. Natasha took a deep breath and continued. “Y’know...I can pull some strings, the ones I have left anyway. Get Y/n relocated to be with us. I know she doesn’t remember anything right now, but-”

“No.” Wanda cut her off, surprising the redhead.

“Wha...what do you mean ‘no’?”

Wanda had thought about it, she’s thought about it the entire time she was in the Raft. She would love nothing more than to see you again, to hold you and help you on your recovery, but...she couldn’t. She was a wanted fugitive now, and you were only in this predicament because of her...she had to be selfless here. She couldn’t bring you into this life, not when you were missing chunks of your own.

“I mean no.” She said, looking up into Natasha’s eyes, tears pooling in her own. “She’s better off.”

And with that, Wanda got up, walking towards the back of the jet to be alone. She took a deep breath, and prepared herself. Preparing herself for a new life as a fugitive on the run. And most importantly...

Preparing for a life without you.

[stardust-and-snickerdoodles]

I’m Sure They’ll Understand pt. 2

part 1

fandom: MCU

pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

summary: It’s been a couple months since the party and you’re officially free of HYDRA’s hold on you. The memories still remain, along with the guilt, but at least there’s no chance of reverting back to a murderous super soldier. Steve wants you to try to meet the Avengers once more, and despite your fear, you agree.

warnings: angst

word count: 2017

a/n: i got a little carried away... oops.

“You want to bring her on a mission? Did those seventy years in the ice freeze your braincells, too?” Tony glares at Steve across the conference room. The whole team is assembled to discuss an upcoming mission and Steve has just announced his decision to bring you along. “The party was one thing, but this is serious business.”

Steve meets his glare steadily. “Shuri said she’s clear for action. She managed to override all the programming that HYDRA implemented. Plus, Y/N’s not going to be doing any fighting. I just want her to have a chance to bond with you guys.”

Natasha clears her throat and sits up a little straighter. “Look, Steve, I want you to know that I support you and Y/N. But frankly, it’s not the best idea for her to be exposed to HYDRA so soon after deprogramming.”

“Even I couldn’t go on missions for a few months after I came out of cryo again,” Bucky cuts in, tapping his fingers on the table. “It’s nothing against Y/N, it’s just…”

“It’s just you don’t trust her,” Steve says accusingly, sweeping his across the whole room. His team members can’t meet his eyes. He continues, “Y/N deserves your trust. She’s been working so hard for the last year to get better. All the things that she did with HYDRA weren’t her fault.” Steve turns to look at Bucky again. “Buck, I expected some understanding from you at least. None of us hold you responsible for anything you did in the past.” Bucky looks down at his hands guiltily. “So why is it so different for Y/N?”

“Steve,” Natasha says gently. “We’re not trying to attack you or Y/N here. We’re trying to do what’s best for the team. And teaming up with someone who willingly joined HYDRA, not to mention injured you, doesn’t seem smart.” Natasha holds her hand up when Steve begins to interrupt. “I know she had no other choice. But she’s still a liability.”

The fight has died from Steve’s voice. “Just give her a chance. I’ll even stay in the quinjet with her during the mission. I’ll make sure she’s safe.”

“Not a chance, capsicle,” Tony interjects. “Fury wants you taking point on this one. If anyone’s going to stay with her, it’s the Manchurian Candidate over there.” He nods his head toward Bucky.

Bucky’s face is a mixture of disappointment and anger. “Why me?”

“Because you’re the only one who’s been through the same sort of thing Y/N has,” Natasha explains. “You can empathize with her situation.”

Bucky crosses his arms but doesn’t say anything else. The logic is sound, but that doesn’t mean he’s happy about it.

“So, she can come?” Steve asks, trying to keep from sounding like a giddy child.

There’s silence as the rest of the team exchange glances. Steve can hear his heart pounding in his ears. All he wants is for the team to accept you. No matter your past or the horrible things you were forced to do. He wants them to see you like he sees you – beautiful, intelligent, and worthy of love and compassion.

Tony sighs and drags a hand across his face, sighing. “As long as she stays in the jet.”

…

“I didn’t think we’d be going on a whole-ass mission, Stevie,” you murmur as you pull on one of your boots. The rest of the Avengers have been giving you a wide berth while you all get ready. You eye them all nervously, watching them prepare. The only one who has even spoken to you is, of course, Steve. “You said you just wanted me to hang out with them.”

He offers you a small, reassuring smile. “It’ll be okay, Y/N. It’s a small base; nothing out of the ordinary anyway.”

You tug your other boot on and stand. Even though you’re not going to be doing any fighting, you’re still suited up in a black and forest green bodysuit, along with your signature black hood. You’re not allowed any guns, but your preferred weapon is a bow so you don’t need them anyway. You do, however, have one small knife sheathed at each hip; it’s the most the team would let you have. Your quiver feels empty without any arrows in it, but you understand that the team’s safety is priority. And although there’s no chance of you reverting back to your brainwashed ways, you can tell the Avengers still don’t trust you.

You pat Steve on the shoulder and move closer to the doors of the prep room, hopping from one foot to another as nerves surge through you. You have your back to the rest of the team so you don’t have to deal with their worried glances any longer.

Bucky moves to stand next to Steve, who is adjusting one of the straps on his suit. Bucky sighs as he looks at you. “I still don’t think this is a good idea, Steve,” he says.

“And frankly, I don’t care,” Steve shoots back before walking toward you without another word. Bucky shakes his head and continues to get ready.

Steve places a gentle hand on your arm and you stop your anxious movement. “Ready?” he asks.

You nod and look at the waiting quinjet outside. “I just wish we’d get a move on. I don’t know how much longer I can stand here without throwing something.”

Steve looks at you with worry in his eyes as the rest of the team glances around nervously.

You roll your eyes. “I’m kidding,” you say a little louder, trying to set everyone at ease.

A few moments later, Tony claps his hands together and announces that it’s time to leave. You mumble a quick “thank God” and head out the doors to the jet.

You sit close to the back, leaving a seat for Steve to join you if he wants to. Everyone else takes seats toward the front and you try not to be offended by the amount of space they leave between you and them. Steve sits down next to you though and you flash him a grateful smile.

The ride to the HYDRA base is nearly silent, the tension thick in the air. The team’s thoughts are preoccupied with both the mission and your possible actions. Meanwhile, you attempt to lighten your own mood by playing Sticks with Steve. He’s much better at it than you are but it’s a good distraction. Your soft giggles and words float up to the front of the jet where everyone else is sitting.

“Ten bucks says they’re making out by the end of the mission,” Sam whispers, his own attempt at an icebreaker.

Nat snorts. “I say by the time we get to the base.”

“Deal.” Sam smirks and they shake hands. A bit of the tension lifts and a conversation starts up between the rest of the team members.

You’re half-paying attention to their voices when you hear your name. It’s Nat, trying to get your attention. “Y/N! Clint wants to know what kind of arrows you prefer.”

You blink slowly, trying to register the words. Someone wants to know about you? Your Sticks game forgotten, you fidget nervously with the hilt of one of your knives. “Um,” you start, clearing your throat, “I use smoke bomb arrows a lot. Good for cover when you’re trying to get through a place that’s heavily crowded with hostiles. Sonic arrows are good for distractions.”

Clint nods and takes a few arrows from his quiver. He hands them to Nat, who passes them down the line of chairs to you. You take them hesitantly, noticing that they’re a mix of the two types of arrows you mentioned.

Tony frowns and says to Clint, “I thought we said no weapons.”

Clint rolls his eyes. “They’re barely weapons. They don’t do any damage besides stunning, at the most. Besides, I’m considering it a welcome gift.”

“A welcome gift? For what?” Tony asks, incredulous.

“The Avengers, obviously. It doesn’t look like she’s going anywhere anytime soon.”

The two guys look over at you and Steve. The two of you are now holding hands lightly. As they watch, Steve brushes a strand of hair out of your face and you blush.

Tony hums lightly but doesn’t say anything else.

You can’t help but notice that the rest of the team seems a little more at ease since Clint’s peace offering. A few times, some of the other members ask simple questions but it doesn’t often branch into a longer conversation. Still, you’re happy that they seem to be learning to accept you.

Once you arrive at the base, Steve stands and briefly explains the mission, reiterating once again that you will remain in the jet with Bucky. Things move quickly from there, with Steve handing you an earpiece and instructing you on how to use it before leading the rest of the team out of the jet. You watch them leave, sending up a quick prayer that everyone returns safely.

Once it’s just you and Bucky, you glance around the jet. Bucky hasn’t moved except to take a knife from its sheath and begin to flip it absentmindedly. The tension from before is back, even stronger now.

You can hear the team talking through the earpiece but you barely pay any attention. It’s mostly Tony making jokes and Steve instructing the others on where to go. Eventually, the silence inside the jet gets to you and you have to say something. You clear your throat and Bucky turns to look at you, his face unreadable. “So… is your specialty knives?” You immediately feel dumb for asking such a ridiculous question but can’t do anything about it now.

Bucky shrugs and flips his knife again. “Don’t really have much of a specialty. Used to be a sniper. HYDRA trained me in everything though.”

You nod and silence settles in the air again. Bucky seems to be closed off, which is why it surprises you when he speaks once more, “I remember you from… then. When we were with HYDRA.”

The way he says “when we” makes it sound like some sort of pact. Like some shared trauma that ties you together. You force your mouth to not smile and meet his eyes. “I remember you, too.”

“They called you Ranger, right?”

A tingle goes down your spine at the old name. “Yeah. I don’t use that anymore, though. Too many bad associations.”

Bucky nods, and you think you see a little empathy on his face. “It’s the same with me and the Winter Soldier.” He pauses and there’s hesitation in his voice when he says, “I don’t… I don’t hate you, you know.”

Your eyes widen a bit. “God, Bucky, I never thought that. I know how hard it must be to trust me, though.” You run the edge of your fingernail along your thumb unconsciously, one of those little tics that you do when you’re nervous. You laugh quickly, “Hell, sometimes I don’t even trust myself. So I get it. I don’t expect you to-”

Suddenly, you hear a flurry of gunshots through your earpiece. There are shouts and bangs, all assaulting you at once. You try to focus on one sound, one voice, but everyone is talking over each other. Bucky sits up a little straighter and presses a finger against his earpiece. “What’s going on?” he demands.

“Barnes!” Tony’s voice comes through finally, louder than the rest of the commotion. “We need backup in here; the base is larger than we thought.”

Bucky immediately stands and you start to follow suit, preparing to fight. But Bucky stops you with one hand held out. “What about Y/N?”

There’s no response for a little bit. Finally, Tony again, “Bring her in.”

As you gear up, Bucky shows you where Clint’s extra arrows are and you begin to load them into your quiver. The earpiece is once again only filled with the sounds of gunfire. That is, until Sam’s voice breaks through with three words that shatter your heart.

“Rogers is down!”

>>>

part 3

tags: @aspie-allie​ @ashwarren32​

[sserpente]

A/N: Requests from two anons and @eislyn-vis. I changed the scenario a bit but now there’s a different kind of Red Riding Hood concept.

Words: 1954 Warnings: angst, fluff, attempted rape, mentions of smut

“Come on, brother, it’ll be fun. How will you ever redeem yourself if you don’t spend time with us and prove to them you’re more than just the God of Mischief?” Thor bellowed, patting Loki’s shoulder so hard he stumbled forward. The Trickster rolled his eyes.

“I have no need to be redeemed, Thor. You are fully well aware it were not solely my actions that brought chaos to New York.”

Thor’s smile faltered a little. “I know. Maybe tonight, you can convince the others of that too.”

“I will not costume myself and drink myself into stupor, brother.” Thor had painted his face entirely white and added dark blue circles under his eyes. Fake blood was dripping down the corners of his mouth and whenever he spoke, Loki caught a glimpse of those way too big plastic fangs. He looked absurd.

“You don’t have to. Just come along, have a drink with me and celebrate Halloween with us.”

He stared at him, considering his invitation briefly. He could always cause some mischief among the crowd. Surely, a real living snake in the punch would elicit some kind of reaction.

“Fine,” he finally replied. “One drink.”

Thor’s grin was triumphant when he grabbed his brother by the neck and dragged him with him into the living room. Loki was already regretting he had said yes when he shoved a green drink in his hand and then joined Tony, Natasha and Steve. Dirty looks were shot in his direction as soon as they lay their judgemental eyes upon him.

He rolled his eyes once more, carefully sipping on his drink. It was not too bad, for a Midgardian brew. Annoyed, he let his eyes roam over the costumed crowd—he was not interested in a conversation with the Avengers anyway—right until he caught sight of a petite woman next to one of the doctors. Alas, you were petite to him, your red dress barely covering your delicious backside. You were wearing a red jacket that came with a hood, too, presumably made of leather. What were you supposed to illustrate? Red traffic lights Loki had discreetly ignored the first time Thor had sat him behind the wheel of a Midgardian vehicle?

“Who is that?” He found himself asking. Fascination was boiling in his veins, an interest he could not quite name as of yet.

Thor frowned. “Who?”

“That woman over there… the one wearing the red dress.” You had combined your outfit with black heels and equally black tights. Quite frankly… you looked ravishing. When was the last time he had felt immediate sexual interest in a woman?

“Oh, that… that is (Y/N), she’s a young scientist. Works with Banner. Why?”

Loki pursed his lips. “Never mind. What is she dressed up as?”

“Red Riding Hood.” Natasha said, folding her arms suspiciously. The God of Mischief rolled his eyes once more. He had no idea who or what Red Riding Hood was. All he knew was that he needed to hear your voice. He doubted you would be willing to speak to him though—after all, you worked with the Avengers. You knew what he had done.

Loki downed his drink quickly, choosing to spend the rest of the night watching you. For a moment, he even considered casting an illusion, transforming himself into someone else but then decided against it. If he were to get to know you… then he should have a chance for you to like him just the way he was, no tricks involved.

He almost snorted at the thought. Whoever would? According to Midgardian myths, he was the incarnation of evil. According to his life, he was an outsider, a villain, a monster.

Pressings his lips together to a thin line, he stood to pour himself another drink. Perhaps he should drink himself into stupor after all.

-

How come he had never seen you around before? Granted, Loki usually spent most of his time in his cell, pardon, room in the compound and he had not been here long enough to be acquainted with the entire team as of yet. Still… a young beauty such as you… he should have noticed you.

He was met with a hungover Tony Stark and Natasha Romanoff in the kitchen. Cleaning maids—apparently, so Loki had been told by Thor, they were getting paid for their services—were taking care of the disgusting mess the party guests had left. Loki really did not understand all the fuss about Halloween.

Repulsed, he stepped over an empty glass bottle on the floor and poured himself a cup of coffee. Unlike the two mortals in the kitchen, he had remained entirely unaffected from last night’s alcoholic adventure.

At three am, when there was still no end of the party in sight, he retreated, stopping by Stark’s library before returning to his cell—bedroom. He quickly found what he was looking for and ended up falling asleep to the fairy tale of little Red Riding Hood wandering through a dark forest to bring her sick grandmother cake and wine.

“You left early last night, brother. You didn’t disappear with the lovely (Y/N), did you?” Thor entered the kitchen with a sneaky grin on his lips. Tony’s face fell, his eyes locking with Loki’s.

“Did you touch her?” Hmm… interesting. Of course they would not want him anywhere near an innocent young woman—but he sure loved getting on the billionaire’s nerves. If only he could say yes. He would have loved to have felt you underneath him last night.

“And if I did, then what?” He replied instead, scorn swinging in his voice.

“He’s bluffing.” Natasha stated unfazed. Tony ignored her. “(Y/N) left the compound to go for a run in the forest nearby ten minutes ago.”

“Stay away from her. If I even see you near her, I’ll see to it SHIELD locks you up again.”

“Because that worked out so well the first time you attempted to do so, yes?” Proudly, Loki lifted his chin, staring him down until he had to blink.

“(Y/N) is an honourable, decent woman. She’d never waste her breath on you.” The God of Mischief swallowed. There was a chance Stark was not lying. Still, he had all the information he needed.

“Worry not, Stark. In case you are concerned for her honour, however, I would strongly advise you stay away from the girl yourself.” He teleported himself out of the room before Tony could respond, finding himself on an idyllic forest path. Romanoff’s information had been vague but it was enough for Loki to locate you.

Casting an illusion on himself, his heart almost leaped out of his chest when you ran past him, dressed in a tight sports outfit complimenting each and every one of your curves. Ironically, it was red.

By the Norns, was this not pathetic? Making himself invisible and watching you sweat like a mad predator? What other choice did he have? Stark’s harsh words rang in his ears, making him wonder if they were true after all.

Oh, nonsense. If you were truly honourable, perhaps you would give him a chance despite his past. He would simply… where had you gone? You had been there only a second ago!

Loki flinched when you screamed. Alarmed, he rushed to your side, abandoning his invisibility charm. A strange man had sneaked up on you, holding a small knife to your throat from behind and dragging you off the safe path into the undergrowth.

He could only imagine what it was he wanted from you. He gnashed his teeth. How dare he even think about touching you against your will. Possessiveness crawled through his body, along with a strong urge to protect you. Loki had never even heard your voice and still… He was not cruel. Surely, he would have helped any woman from getting raped before his eyes, yet with you he felt that if he failed saving you, something inside him would break. His heart? No, his heart had long been broken. But there was a connection. A connection he could not quite describe. He wondered… would Frigga know? His mother… the woman who had raised him had always known advice for any predicament he had found himself in, up until he had found out what he really was.

Without any hesitation, he grabbed the stranger by the throat and hurled him against a tree, the knife falling to the ground and landing mutely in the green moss.

“What the…”

He looked up, realising who had attacked him and swallowing thickly.

“You have three seconds before I rip your head off.” He growled, making him stumble to his feet and run faster than you had ever seen a man run before. Relief washed over you.

“L-Loki?” Your eyes widened when you recognised him, hovering above you, his dark glare downright murderous. You frowned.

“And there I was thinking that I would be the big bad wolf in this scenario.” He replied with an amused grin, remembering the fairy tale he had read last night.

“What are you talking about?” Still frowning, you let him help you up, electricity rippling through you when your hands touched.

By the Norns, standing this close to you only made him realise now how tiny you were compared to him. He could just lift you up with both his hands, bring your delicious quim to his face and bury his tongue between your folds all the while you hung in his arms completely helpless, forced to accept the pleasure he was offering you…

“I am afraid you caught my attention at the party last night.” Now that was an understatement but at least, it was not a lie.

You raised an eyebrow. Oh… your costume, of course… “That does not explain why you followed me into the woods.” Ah. Yes.

“I shall be glad I did. Stark was very vehement about me staying away from you.”

“Tony tends to get a little overprotective from time to time.”

“I do not like being told what not to do.”

You blinked. You had never actually spoken to Loki before. You were aware of his presence in the compound, of course—yet the stories the Avengers had told you had made you hesitate. You had not exactly avoided him, still you had to admit you had not been overly keen on joining Bruce in the lab when he was present.

Loki had shattered your opinion of him like a piece of glass. If he truly was as evil as the heroes made him out to be, then why had he just saved you from a rapist? Your heart was still beating like a steam hammer, adrenaline cursing through your body. You didn’t even realise you were bleeding until Loki reached for your neck and gently pulled you towards him.

“He injured you. I should have killed him after all.” He muttered tenderly.

“I-I’m okay.” Loki looked up, your eyes locking. He had not imagined it then. There was a connection. But you were suspicious of him, he could tell. The hesitation radiated off of you like liquid heat. At least, he felt no hatred and disgust.

Making you flinch, he brushed his thumb against the bleeding wound the man’s knife had caused. One second passed before it disappeared, leaving behind unblemished skin Loki was itching to taste with his mouth.

“Thank you…” You murmured, unsure of how to react to his gentleness. What was it he had said? That you had caught his attention last night? “I, um… I’m heading back now, will you… will you join me?”

Loki nodded slowly, suppressing a triumphant grin. “With pleasure.” It was a start, at least.

-

A/N: Check out my blog to find more Imagines and take a glimpse at my first (to be) published novel! Also, if you enjoyed this story, I would appreciate so much if you supported me on Kofi! ko-fi.com/sserpente ♥

[itskateak]

Oceans and Stars - Chapter 1

(Art by itskateak...do not repost without permission)

Story Summary: A story of how Bucky Barnes falls in love with oceans, stars, and the woman who gave him the reasons to.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Velika Dante King (Fem!OC)

Chapter Summary: Velika Dante King is new to the Avengers team. It takes her time to find her place among them and to learn to trust them. Through many moments, she’s given many reasons to trust the team.

Warnings: Canon typical violence, mentions of PTSD and Anxiety, mentions of nightmares, mentions of past trauma (brainwashing, death, assassinations, physical and psychological torture)

A/N: This is post-Endgame but Tony didn’t die and Steve didn’t yeet himself to the past and Nat was brought back and everything is fine. Not beta read. We die like men in this household.

                       ⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅ 

𝓕𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓭, 𝔀𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓼𝓮𝓮 𝓸𝓷 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓵𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓳𝓸𝓾𝓻𝓷𝓮𝔂?

Velika Dante King stepped out of the car, hiking her bag up on her shoulder. She stared at the Avengers’ compound with intrigue. The building was large and very much influenced by Tony Stark’s technology. A group of agents was running on a track to the side of the building, a higher-up barking at them to move faster. She smiled and shut the car door.

“We’ll have your stuff taken to your room, ma’am. Captain Rogers will be waiting for you in the foyer.” Happy startled her out of her thoughts and she nodded in approval. Her first impression of Happy Hogan was that his name was ironic. He looked grumpy pretty much the whole car ride from the airport. Maybe he was stressed about something or had a bad morning. He had a good heart, though, and that allowed her to brush off his sour countenance. 

“There’s no need to call me ma’am. Miss King or Velika works just fine.” Velika said, giving him what she hoped was a friendly smile. Change was never easy for her, nor were unfamiliar environments. She wouldn’t have accepted this job, anyway, if it hadn’t been for Nick Fury’s incessant nagging. Every couple of months, he would contact her with the same proposition. After many, many years, she finally caved.

 “Alright, Miss King. If you would follow me, I’ll take you into the building to meet Captain Rogers.” Happy returned her smile, living up to his name for the first time since they’d met. It was brief, but it proved her theory that he had his heart in the right place.

“Thank you,” Velika said, walking behind him toward the compound. She chewed on the inside of her lip, anxiety fluttering in her chest. The building was nowhere near the compound she’d lived in for so long, but there were enough visual similarities that her jet-lagged brain was beginning to panic. She took a deep breath to steady herself and pulled her bag further up. “What should I call you? Mister Hogan? Mister Happy?”

“Just Happy, Miss King.” Happy responded as he opened the doors for her. She smiled briefly in thanks and entered the building. The air conditioning hit her immediately and she hadn’t realized how warm it had been outside. She felt a little bad for the agents running outside, but then remembered that the weather wouldn’t ever be perfect for a mission. And the fact that she had run in worse weather.

“Ah, Lieutenant King! I’m Steve Rogers.” Steve extended his hand to her once they were close enough, a friendly smile lighting up his expression. He’d grown a beard since the last time she’d seen pictures of him, and it actually really suited him. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

“I don’t know what Nick Fury told you, but I’m not a Lieutenant anymore. Just Velika or Miss King works. A pleasure to meet you, too.” Velika took his hand and shook it. His hand was calloused, much like hers, and his grip was strong.

“Thanks, Happy. I’m sure you have other things going on.” Steve said. Happy nodded and left them to attend to his duties as head of security. “So, how was the flight?” He gestured with his head to follow him.

“Smooth, luckily, but very long. I had the chance to stretch after landing.” Velika kept up with him easily, taking in her surroundings. 

“I’m glad it went well. We’ve had issues lately with airspace.” Steve shook his head and sighed. “That’s politics for you.”

“Gross.” Velika wrinkled her nose up and Steve barked a short laugh. “I’ve always hated politics.”

“Other people take care of that for us, now, so you don’t have to worry about it.” They started up a staircase to the right of the atrium. “That was the main foyer. It splits the building into two parts. This is our residential wing where only people granted access can visit. The team’s in the common room.”

“How many people are on the team?” Velika asked, glancing out the huge windows. The scenery wasn’t too bad. The compound seemed to be in a wooded area. 

“Our unit here is made up of eight people. Including you, that would be nine. We have a few other people who we consider apart of the team that are in other places.” Steve typed in a passcode at a pair of glass doors and opened it for her.

“And how many am I meeting today?” Velika nodded in thanks and entered the common room. She didn’t know if she could do many people today. Not until she was rested and not jet-lagged to Hell and back.

“Five, counting me. Vis and Wanda are running a mission and Bruce is taking a much-needed stress-relieving vacation.” Steve smiled before sighing in frustration. “They were here. Friday, can you call the team down to the common room again?”

“Yes, Captain Rogers. Right away.” A disembodied voice spoke and she jumped slightly.

“Friday is the artificial intelligence program that keeps things functioning around here. She’s probably the only thing keeping Tony alive when he’s working.” Steve shook his head fondly.

“You were taking ages, Rogers!” A red-headed woman said as she entered the room. “It doesn’t take that long to get downstairs and back up. Are you getting old or something?”

“That would be Natasha Romanoff,” Steve said and Natasha smiled in greeting and waved. “And yes, Nat. I am getting old.”

“Nice to meet you. Bikinis or one piece?” Nat asked with a perfectly arched brow of curiosity.

“Uh, bikinis?” Velika replied in a confused tone, head cocked slightly in thought.

“She can stay.” Nat crossed her arms with a grin and Steve rolled his eyes.

“Come on, old man! Move it, Frosty!” Shouts from down the hall caught their attention. “My grandma could move faster than you and she’s been dead for twenty years.”

“Then go around me, Wilson! And stop yelling. You’ll wake your grandma from the grave.” Another voice followed, sounding very annoyed and gruff. 

“Have dumb and dumber arrived to give us all headaches or have I miraculously made it ahead of them?” Tony Stark asked as he walked in, holding a foam cup probably containing coffee. 

“They’re down the hall, announcing their arrival through their bickering.” Natasha boosted herself up onto the back of a leather couch and crossed her legs. She had a nice figure, which her tank top and jeans accented. “They’re always that way.” She stage whispered behind her hand.

“Oh, great. I thought I could avoid it.” Tony grimaced and held his hand out to Velika. “Tony Stark. Brains behind the idiots and the tech mastermind.”

“Velika Dante King. Nice to meet you.” Velika smiled. His sense of humor was already incredible and she could already feel herself relaxing around him. Her ability to trust strangers was slim to none and she hadn’t realized how tense she was.

Two men entered the room, one nearly bouncing as he walked. The other ambled in, shaking his head at the other, an expression of pure annoyance on his face.

“Hey, new blood!” The first yelled with a bright smile. She flinched not at his volume but the term. Back in her military days, the recruits being trained were called new blood. It brought up bad memories. 

The man behind him muttered something that sounded like ‘no need to shout.’

“Sam Wilson. The team’s best-looking member.”

Velika introduced herself again, shaking his hand. She usually would’ve had some kind of witty comment to shoot back, but the jet-lag (and being rattled from a term she didn’t expect to hear) had her just smiling and nodding.

"I’m James Buchanan Barnes, but everyone calls me Bucky.” Bucky, who had his arms folded across his chest, spoke quietly in comparison Sam. “Welcome.”

“Thanks, Bucky.” Velika nodded at him and tightened her hold on her bag. “It’s really been nice to meet all of you, but I’m exhausted and really need some time to adjust. New surroundings and people and all...a lot to take in.”

“Hey, no problem. I’ll show you to your room. You guys are free to go.” Steve touched her shoulder and she started. He pulled his hand away with a quiet apology. The others in the room dispersed as Steve led her down one of the side halls. 

She pretended not to notice Bucky Barnes’ gaze boring into her back.

                      ⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅ 

“Okay, it’s your turn,” Sam said, turning his attention to Velika. “Truth or dare?”

“I’m just here getting a drink. I’m not playing.” Velika grabbed a glass and dug around in the fridge for the bag of limes she’d asked for. 

“Aww, come on! You haven’t joined us for our game nights yet. Just one, please?” Sam begged as she pulled a lime out and cut it into slices.

“No, because I’ve heard how you can be. I’m not choosing between a ridiculously personal question and a stupid dare.” Velika dropped the slice of lime in her glass and returned the bag to the fridge.

“If we’re gonna be on a team, we need to get to know each other and all our dirty secrets! How else are you gonna trust us?” Sam’s words made her tense up. Trust was a hard thing for her. She’d already been there for two months and had yet to really forge any connections with anyone. Sure, she’d trained with Natasha on occasion and spent time in Tony’s lab to get gear fitted. Other than that, she kept to herself and stayed very quiet.

“Easy. I don’t and I won’t.” Velika said as she swept out of the common and back to her room.

                      ⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅ 

“Three on your six, Velika.” Natasha’s voice in her ear made her press against the wall and wait silently, gun drawn. “Make that twelve, wait...fifteen.”

“I don’t see them, yet.” She muttered, drawing another handgun.

“Barnes, help her out,” Tony ordered.

“On it.”

“I can handle this on my own.” Velika hissed, poking around the corner and firing off a shot. She earned three back as she swung back around into cover. “I’ve dealt with worse.”

“We’re a team, Velika. When are you gonna stop thinking we’re your enemies?” Nat asked, a hint of frustration in her voice.

“When you give me a reason.” She fired down the hall again. Thirteen enemies still standing. This was her first mission with the full team. She and Bucky were part of the ground team. Steve and Natasha were across the building.

“How many left?” Bucky called from across the hall.

“I said I can handle this on my own.” She said, stepping out of cover and shooting three times. Velika ducked back behind the corner, holstering her now empty weapon.

“Quit being stubborn.” Bucky shot her a frustrated look and fired twice down the hall. “How many left?”

“Twelve. Happy?” Velika cocked her weapon.

Bucky didn’t respond, shaking his head slightly. “I can get two on the right from here. Can you get the three on the left?”

“Yeah.” Velika shifted and aimed. She fired five times, taking out the assigned targets. “Six left.”

Together, they took out the remaining members in short time. 

“You okay?” Bucky asked, looking her over.

“I’m fine.” She snapped crossing the hall to get closer to him. “And I would’ve been fine without your help.”

“We’re on your side, here, Velika,” Bucky argued, brows furrowed gently. 

“If you were really on my side, you would’ve let me handle it on my own. Teammates are supposed to-” Velika was cut off as he suddenly grabbed her arms and threw her to the side. She slammed into the wall with a grunt, about to tear him a new one when she looked up.

Bucky was fighting to disarm the agent they’d forgotten to count. The knife in the man’s hand had almost been driven into her back. He twisted the man’s arm and smashed his head into the wall, rendering him unconscious. He panted, tossing the knife away.

“Teammates are supposed to have your back when you need it and help you to make sure you don’t,” Bucky said, extending his hand to her. She took it and let him pull her upright. “Are you hurt?”

“No, I’m okay. Thanks.” Velika gave him a small smile. “Seriously, thanks. And...you’re right. You guys are on my side. I’m just...I can’t-”

“Trust doesn’t come easy for you.” Bucky interrupted her. “I get it, I do. When I first joined the team, I didn’t trust anyone but Steve. Now I trust them all with my life.”

“Even Wilson?”

“Even Wilson.” Though his tone was sincere, his expression showed his distaste. She laughed and shook her head. Maybe Bucky wasn’t so bad.

                      ⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅ 

“I’m going to smother you with a pillow, Velika!” Tony yelled, nearly throwing the table in his rage. She cackled wildly as he added twelve cards to his hand. “Sleep with one eye open.”

“You did that to yourself, Stark.” She giggled, fanning her cards back out. “Not my fault you didn’t count on the rest of us having draw twos.”

“All of you. Sleep with one eye open. I’m killing all of you and it starts with her.” Tony points an accusing finger at Velika with a deadly look in his eye.

Natasha laid down her next card, calling uno. Steve played a reverse, announcing that she certainly didn’t have another green. Nat tossed her green three onto the pile with a broad grin while Tony nearly started another war with Steve. Sam threw his cards onto the table, flipping the ex-assassin off.

Velika caught Bucky staring at her with a small smile as he set his cards down. She cocked her head to say ‘what?’ and he shook his head.

Eight months after she’d joined the team and she was finally sliding into place. Eight months later and she was finally beginning to trust them.

Yeah, they’re not so bad.

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Velika watched the stars quietly, breathing in the night air. She’d woken from another nightmare and needed to get away from her room to calm down. They weren’t frequent anymore, but they were still vivid and always got her heart racing. Some nights, she even woke in her room thinking that she was back on her silver chain.

The peace of the night sky always calmed her down and reminded her that she wasn’t there anymore. The stars were always a friendly sight for her sore eyes, twinkling against the black background. She took a deep breath and felt her heart rate finally start to go down.

“Oh, I didn’t...Sorry, I’ll go.” Bucky’s voice startled her and she whipped around to see him standing awkwardly by the rood access door. He wasn’t wearing shoes (well, she wasn’t either) and his sweatpants were loose and his sweatshirt looked like he’d just picked it up off the floor. His hair was a wreck, though she assumed hers looked that way, too. 

“No, it’s okay. I wouldn’t mind some company.” She said, turning back to look at the sky. “Other than the stars, of course.”

Bucky was quiet as he joined her, keeping a safe distance between them. He’d even walked to her other side to stand on her left. She assumed it was because of his arm. 

“Nightmare?” Velika asked, leaning against the railing. 

“Yeah. You?”

“Yep.” They fell silent again, both just watching the world around them. Crickets chirped to fill the space and an owl called in the distance. The trees rustled with the soft breeze drifting by.

“Wanna talk about it?” He offered, turning to face her.

“Do you?” She countered, glancing at him. His eyes were puffy. Her heart hurt for him. 

“I...don't know if it would help,” Bucky admitted, sounding defeated. “Steve lets me talk about them sometimes but I can tell it bothers him. He blames himself for what happened, still, and I don’t want to add to his burden. I don’t want to be a burden.”

“James Buchanan Barnes, you’re not a burden,” Velika said, fixing him with a softly stern look. “Come on. Lay it on me. Dream for a dream. Then I’ll tell you a story.”

Bucky rubbed his right hand over his face, then ran it through his hair. “What kind of story?”

“A story about the stars.” Velika smiled. “Any constellation. Whatever you want. I know them all.”

“I...don’t know the constellations anymore.” He sheepishly ducked his head. “One of the things I lost when Hydra brainwashed me.”

“Luckily, when they brainwashed me, I didn’t forget them.” Velika sighed and shot a disdainful look upwards. “So, what happened in your dream?”

“It started normally. Didn’t think it was a nightmare at first. Just sitting in the common room, watching something stupid with the team. Next thing I know, I’ve got my hands restrained and someone...someone was talking to me.” Bucky drew in a shuddering breath, gripping the railing with his right hand. “Saying things that I can’t remember now, but...then I was being shoved back in that chair having my memory wiped. I blinked and I was approaching Steve with a knife. He greeted me kindly and I just slit his throat. One by one, I killed every single one of you and then just walked out.”

“Sounds like Hell.” Velika wrinkled her nose up. He’d been through a lot as the Winter Soldier and being under Hydra’s control, and it sucked that he couldn’t even get a break during the night when he was sleeping. “Have you seen a therapist for everything that happened?”

Bucky looked at her like she’d grown a second head. “What?”

“You went through a lot and without proper measures to cope and process, it’s only going to sit there and fester. It won’t get rid of your nightmares entirely, but it would maybe help decrease them.” Velika explained. “I got into therapy shortly after I got out. Saved my life, honestly. Got me back to a functioning person.”

“I...hadn’t considered that. I might have to look into that.” Bucky’s shoulders sank like the tension had been released. “Your turn.”

“That is the deal I made.” Velika sighed. “The dream started out of nowhere. I was dreamless until it suddenly popped up. I’ll spare you the gory details, but...it was back when I was under the control of my birth city. I think, at least. I couldn’t control my movements but I could see everything. They...they made me kill someone.”

“Who?”

“My brother,” Velika whispered, eyes falling closed as she swallowed thickly. “He was pleading for his life and I just couldn’t stop as I drove the knife into his chest over and over and over. Then as he was dying, I was back to myself and held him as he died.”

“Jesus.” Bucky’s eyes were wide. “Sounds like we’re both a mess.”

Velika laughed sadly and nodded in agreement. “Yeah, yeah...we kinda are. But we can at least be messes together.”

“You trust me enough for that?” Bucky asked with an arched brow.

“I do.” She admitted with a smile. “I trust you, Bucky. I trust the others, too.”

“Even Wilson?”

“Even Wilson.” Velika giggled and grabbed his arm. “Come on. Lay down. I promised to tell you about a constellation.”

She dragged him to a wider space of the roof and moved to his left side. She laid down with her arm behind her head. He cautiously laid next to her, giving her some space between them. 

“Okay, so we can see a few constellations from this position. There’s one there, there, and there.” Velika pointed them out. “Which would you like?”

“How about...the third one?” Bucky suggested.

“Hercules was the son of Zeus and Alcmene...” Velika launched into the story, staring up at the sky as the stars twinkled back at them. Nine months with the team and she’d finally settled in.

𝓦𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓼𝓮𝓮?

                      ⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅ 

Taglist-

[hotoffthepressfics]

Teach Me How to Dance with You

MASTERLIST

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Word Count: 4,832

Summary: After a botched mission the Reader tries to get closer to Bucky, but can she get passed his trauma and get close to the man underneath?

Warnings: Injury and violence, angst, fluff

Chapter Soundtrack:

“How ‘Bout a Dance?” - Laura Osnes

“Teach Me How to Dance With You” - Causes

“Try a Little Tenderness” - Frank Sinatra

A/N: Hands down, my favorite fic I’ve ever written. I hope you all enjoy this super fluffy piece. 💕

Distant rumbling shakes the destroyed building. Small clumps of concrete drop like hail. The heavy slab of wall shifts lower, putting more pressure on your pinned leg. You groan in pain; your brain scrambling to figure a way out. You had tried to contact the others, but your comm had been damaged in the explosion.

The mission was supposed to be straightforward. Clear out the Hydra cell, take back any intel gathered. Except that someone had been ready for you.

The ground shakes again as more aftershocks roll through the vicinity. The wall moves another inch lower. You scream this time, the pain becoming unbearable. You wonder briefly if this is where you’ll die when you hear someone shouting. You crane your neck to see who’s coming. A dark figure cautiously creeps through the dust and smoke, body in a battle ready stance.

“I’m – here! Please, help me!” Your voice grates against your throat, coughing as you inhale to speak.

The figure zeroes in on you, quickly approaching. It dawns on you that perhaps this wouldn’t be an ally, but an enemy. If it was an enemy then at least this pain would be over soon.

Relief floods your veins as soon as a certain super soldier’s features come into view. His eyes widen in recognition and he drops to your side.

“Y/N! Can you move?” Bucky asks, assessing your predicament.

You shake your head.

“No, my leg’s pinned. The wall fell as soon as the chaos started and I wasn’t fast enough to move out of the way.” You answer a bit ruefully.

You’re suddenly aware that the pain in your leg has subsided. In fact, all sensation of feeling is muted as you attempt to wiggle your toes. You fight the rising panic.

“I’m gonna lift this up and you need to move out from under it. You got that?” Bucky instructs.

You nod and brace your hands against the floor. Bucky positions his hands underneath the rubble and lifts, his metal arm whirring with the force needed to move the heavy object. As soon as it’s high enough you pull and kick with your good leg until you’ve slid clear of the debris. Bucky drops the slab to the floor.

It was like someone had dropped hundreds of fire ants down your leg, the sudden rush of blood tripling the dulled pain. You hold your breath, trying not to scream. Small black dot swim in your vision. You’re dimly aware of someone speaking, the agony making it hard to focus on anything else.

Without warning you feel yourself become weightless as two arms lock beneath your back and knees. The jostling movements as Bucky carries you quickly from the scene renew the pain in waves. You whimper pathetically and beg him to stop.

“I’m sorry Y/N. I know it hurts, but we have to get you out of here. I promise, when this mess is over I’ll do whatever you ask, doll.”

You whimper again but nod and press your face into his shoulder, the coolness of the Vibranium soothing on your fevered cheek. You hear Bucky speak again.

“I’ve got Agent Y/L/N. She’s injured pretty bad. We’ll rendezvous at the quinjet.”

Steve responds though you don’t catch it. Bucky moves quickly, taking care not to jostle you too much. You attempt to keep your whimpers and groans to a minimum, though the trek to the jet feels like an eternity. As you two come up to it Steve careens around a corner and ushers you in.

Bucky sets you onto a seat and begins strapping you in as Nat, Sam, and the rest of the team barrel into the jet. Steve walks over to you. He kneels to inspect your wound, gingerly lifting the torn cloth and prodding the flesh beneath.

“What happened?” He asks you, his piercing blues staring up at you.

“Explosion… concrete wall…boom.” You weakly mimic the slab falling down with your arm. Your head lulls to the side. “Couldn’t move.”

Steve hums in understanding and resumes his examination. He nods once.

“The good thing is the skin isn’t broken, but you could be bleeding internally. Not to mention that the bone might be broken. Fractured at the least.” He says, a little relieved though still a bit grim.

Now that eminent danger was diverted the adrenaline was wearing off. Your eyes feel heavy and you struggle to keep them open. They drift close and Steve digs his thumb into your wounded leg. You yelp and yank away from his grasp, eyes snapping open to glare at him. He grins repentantly.

“Sorry Y/N, but we need to you stay awake until we can get you properly checked.”

“Well then, stop probing my poor leg and get this thing in the air already!” You whine, a little too petulant. You were hurt; you were allowed to be a little childish.

He leaves you be and begins giving commands to head back to the tower. Bucky takes the seat to your left and straps himself in. You incline your head towards him, trying to focus on his movements to stay awake. When he’s finished he rests his hand against his thigh, waiting for lift off.

You study his hand for a moment. On instinct you reach for it. Bucky pulls back the second your fingers make contact with his skin, but then he turns his hand over and laces his fingers with yours.

Silence passes between you two for a beat, then you mumble, “Dancing.”

Bucky cocks his head towards you, one eyebrow quirked. “What?”

“You said… you would do.. anything I asked. I want… you to.. dance with me.” You pant, the effort to remain conscious taking its toll.

He smirks and narrows his eyes at you, “Any particular reason for that request?”

You clumsily shake your head, eyes dropping closed. A sharp pain spreads over your cheek. You crack open your left eye and scowl. Bucky’s smirk widens and releases his hold on your pinched cheek.

“Alright, it’s a deal.”

•••

Recovering from you injury was a bitch. The silver lining had been that, thanks to Tony’s fancy, high – tech machines, you’d be able to walk again. The dark cloud had been the endless, and oh did you mean endless, weeks of healing and physical therapy.

A super soldier with incredible healing abilities you were not. Damn them.

No matter the struggle, you’d been determined to make a fast recovery. Tony Stark’s annual Avengers Gala has been two months away. Normally that wouldn’t interest you much, but this time was different. This time you had the procured promise from one Winter Soldier for a dance.

You recall the night you’d found a somber Rogers nursing a glass of whiskey, though it didn’t do much for him. You’d sat and listened to him reminisce about the good ol’ days. He told you how Bucky would try to set him up on dates and force him to go dancing. Steve bragged about how light on his feet Bucky used to be. He could sweep any dame he wanted off onto the dance floor and she’d be his. However, once he’d come back he never indulged in such things anymore. He figured Bucky felt he didn’t have a right to, after all the damage he’d caused.

It made your heart ache. After all he’d been through Bucky deserved more than the self – hatred he’d been made to feel. You wanted to give him back a piece of himself, even if for a moment. The problem was you’d just never had the nerve to broach the subject with him.

Until the accident. Perhaps it’d been the thought of never seeing him again without telling him how you feel, the delirium from your injury, or a bit of both. Whatever the case, you couldn’t stop picturing a scene with just the two of you dancing, Bucky smiling ear to ear. The image was so perfect you could believe you had died. So, without overthinking it, you’d asked him.

You’d been elated when he agreed. You worked hard and it had paid off, and he’d been there to help you initially. However, as the weeks went by Bucky became more reclusive. A dark shadow seemed to hang off of him, and it made you nervous. The Gala couldn’t come at a better time.

Now you sit in your wheelchair impatiently waiting for the elevator to take you down to the party. You smooth your hands over your curls and down to your white dress skirt, fiddling with the twin splits up to the tops of your thighs where intricate lace peaked through. You could walk now, in short bursts, but you couldn’t pass up the little show you could put on once you joined in the partying.

The elevator doors ding and slide open to reveal a very sophisticated Natasha. She wore a form – fitting, slate gray dress. Her fiery red hair is piled high on her head, little ringlets falling to frame her face. She looks stunning, as always. Nat whistles when you come into view. You roll your eyes but you grin widely. As you both settle into the descending compartment you shiver. Your veins buzz with the nervous anticipation.

“Are you ready?” Nat asks as she grips the handles for your wheelchair.

“Umm, excited, yes. Ready?... I’m not so sure yet.” You respond.

Nat pushes you out of the elevator and towards the double doors at the end of the hall. She steadies the seat as you stand.

“It’s going to be great, now get in there!” She encourages.

You take one last deep breath, roll back your shoulders, and waltz in. Your first steps are little wobbly, and you question for a moment if wearing the heels had been a good idea. You find your balance though and walk a little more confidently.

The event is in full swing. Civilians and agents mill about, chatting, laughing, and schmoozing the other Avengers. So many beautiful people but you are only interested in finding one in particular. As your eyes scan the crowd Steve steps in front of you, arms spread wide to take you all in. A beaming smile splits his face.

“Look at you! It’s good to see you are up on your feet again.” He exclaims, wrapping you up in a giant bear hug.

You laugh softly and return the embrace.

“Thanks, it’s good to be able to move around on my own. Have you seen…” you let the sentence trail off, slightly embarrassed to be so intent on the task at hand.

Steve pulls away and chuckles softly. He stands to the side and points to the bar in the far right corner.

“He’s over there. It took a lot to get him dressed and down here, so he’s brooding over a glass of bourbon. Seeing you might cheer him up though.” Steve pats your back good naturedly and steps behind you to greet Natasha.

Your heart flips inside your chest at the sight of him. Bucky looks stunning in the black, tailored suit. His dark, shaggy hair slicked back from his face. He turns his head at that moment to gaze out at the crowd. A small strand of hair falls rebelliously over his forehead, making him look a little more vulnerable than usual. As if attracted to your gaze his dazzling blue eyes lock onto yours. Your spirits dampen a little at the dark circles under them, his look a little hollow.

You begin to make your way over to Bucky, but every few feet someone stops you to congratulate you on your recovery and make small talk. Your gaze drifts back to Bucky every now and then. He had turned back around, hunched over the bar.

After what felt like an eternity you finally made it over. You lean against the counter and shift your body towards Bucky, beaming up at him. He continues to bore holes into the countertop. The circles under his eyes appear much worse this close up. Your smile falters a bit. You reach up for his hand.

"Hey, are you okay?" You squeeze your fingers around his metal palm.

His eyes flick up to your face, breaking himself out of his daze. He inhales deeply and adjusts his stance, drawing his hand out of yours in the process. You try not to let your disappointment show.

"Yeah, I'm great. Couldn't be better." He states flatly, a small lopsided grin forming but it doesn't reach his eyes.

He looks a little wild, like an animal caged and in desperate need to flee. You study him silently for a moment before you attempt to reach out to him again. Placing a gentle touch against his shoulder you try once more to get him to confide in you.

"I just... I'm worried about you." You hope your eyes convey the feeling and sincerity in your words.

Bucky holds your gaze for a beat before he scoffs.

"No need to worry about me, doll. I'm as fine as a warm, summer day in July." He takes a swig of his bourbon, grimacing as it burns down.

He returns to sullenly staring at the counter. You watch him sadly, letting your hand drift slowly down his metal arm. You feel each ridge through his suit. The band changes songs and your mind registers the slower tempo. Your smile regains its strength and you renew your efforts to draw Bucky away from the bar.

"Come on, I think I know a way to cheer you up" Your voice eager as you turn to pull him to the dance floor.

The farther you walk away, however, you feel Bucky's hand disappear from your hold. You slowly spin back and watch as Bucky pushes off the bar counter and heads to the exit, dragging his glass along the top. When he reaches the edge, he throws back his head and downs the rest of his alcohol. The glass clinks against the surface as he sets it back down and leaves through the doors you had entered.

You stand there at a loss, your high spirits quickly deflating. You knew it was silly to think so, but it felt like all eyes were on you and had witnessed your spectacular failure. A hand brushes against your shoulder and you jump. You look up at Steve's sympathetic face. At least one person had seen. He holds out his hand to you.

"I may not be as good a partner as him, but could I have this dance?” Steve asks.

You force a small smile and place your hand in his, your vision becoming blurry with unshed tears. He leads you to the dance floor and pulls you into position. You allow him to lead you through the song, eyes downcast at your feet.

"Hey."

You glance up to Steve's face. He smiles gently. "Give him some time, he's going through a bad spell."

You cast your eyes to the floor once more, saying nothing. The band closes the song and Steve tucks your arm through his, leading you around the room to mingle. You put on a brave face, being polite and friendly. A little while later Sam asks you to dance and you nod, pulling away from Steve. It's enjoyable and you appreciate their kindness in trying to cheer you, but you just want to wallow in self – pity. After an hour passes you decide enough time has passed to make excuses and retreat to your bedroom.

Everyone urges you to stay and revel a little more but you blame your departure on your healing leg and bow out. It wasn't a complete lie; a slow ache had begun in your muscle. Only when the elevator doors slide close do you allow yourself to shed the tears you'd been holding at bay. Some enchanted evening this turned out to be.

•••

Bucky shoots up off of his bed as his nightmare jolts him awake. He pants heavily, blinking to let his eyes adjust to the darkness. He looks down at his chest; the white dress shirt he'd passed out in clinging to his form from the sweat pouring off of his body. Bucky flops back down on the mattress breathing slowly to calm his rapidly beating heart.

It was just a nightmare. It wasn't real. Y/N is safe.

Probably. He hoped you were safe. He'd retreated from Stark's asinine party to ensure you'd be safe. From him.

The nightmares weren't an unusual thing. They'd plagued him since he'd come out of being the Winter Soldier. His past misdeeds coming back in pieces to haunt him. Now, though, they had begun to morph. Making Bucky believe he might be responsible for everything that failed in missions against Hydra. He had been their assassin after all. Couldn't they still find a way to control him?

They now begun to convince him he had caused the explosion that hurt Y/N. His relief had been so instantaneous when he'd found her that he'd wanted to do nothing more than hold her and keep her safe. He had determined to get closer to her when they got back. Then the nightmares made him realize how wrong he'd be for Y/N. Bucky had nothing good to offer her; just heartache and pain.

Since then he'd started distancing himself from her. He had intended never to set foot downstairs tonight, but Steve had been so adamant he attend Bucky couldn't really say no. The moment Y/N walked into the room he'd wanted to pull her close and never let go. She looked so radiant, and when she'd seen him? That smile would keep him warm for days. Bucky loathed how much he'd enjoyed her touch. She was too good for him. She didn't understand the things he'd done, not really. Which is why he'd needed to leave.

Here in his quiet room Bucky could strengthen his resolve to let her go. He swallows, the saliva sticking to his parched throat. He needed another drink, though it did nothing really. Just quenched a thirst. Figuring the party had long ended he makes his way back downstairs to the bar.

He's surprised to find Steve sitting alone at the bar when he arrives. Steve pours and downs a series of shots attempting to get enough alcohol in his system to generate a buzz. Bucky slides into the seat next to him and pours himself a shot. Steve glances over and snorts. He shakes his head in disapproval.

"You're a real jackass, you know that?" Steve says, a tinge of anger to his voice.

Bucky raises an eyebrow. "Not that I'm disagreeing, but what is it for this time?" He challenges.

Steve inclines his head to stare at Bucky for a moment. He shakes his head again and throws back another shot.

"If you really aren't aware then maybe don't make promises you don't intend to keep. My god, you didn't have to see her face. It was like you'd kicked a puppy.”

Bucky furrows his brows. Now he was really confused. He downs his own shot and slams it onto the counter.

"Kicked a puppy? What the hell are you talking about?" He demands.

"Y/N! She'd been working so hard to be able to dance with you tonight but your head is so far up your ass that you can't appreciate all that effort. A beautiful woman wanted to make you happy, but you're too busy focusing on sulking. I'm certain she's given up now." Steve brings the glass to his lips but thinks better of it. He sets the glass back down.

Bucky sits stunned. The alcohol he'd just consumed churning uncomfortably in his stomach. He had made Y/N that promise, hadn't he? That's where she'd been trying to lead him tonight but he'd been too stubborn to notice. He had wanted to keep her safe, not hurt her with his perceived callousness. Bucky rests his head against the counter, exhaling loudly.

"I'm an idiot." He admits to Steve.

Steve hums in agreement. Bucky needed to make this right, at least for Y/N's sake. He lifts his head and gazes at his lifelong friend.

"Help me fix this?" He asks.

"How?" Steve stares at him one eyebrow cocked in question.

Bucky mulls it over for a minute, an idea formulating. He smirks and says, "Do you think you have a way of getting onto Stark's landing platform?"

•••

You had gone to bed hours ago but sleep was far from you tonight. You'd wept heavily and though the tears had stopped flowing your depressed mood kept replaying the disaster of tonight over and over, trying to discover what you'd done wrong. To top it all off, you really had overdone the walking. The dull throbbing of over exertion radiating up your thigh, adding to your misery.

It'd all been for nothing.

You thought sadly. You could get up and take some pain killers, but you decide to use the pain to indulge in your pity party.

A soft knocking sounds at your door. You ignore it hoping whoever it is will assume you'd fallen asleep and leave you alone. A minute passes before the action is repeated. Again, and again. The fourth time you sigh in frustration. You'd think they'd get the hint! You sit up in bed pulling the covers up to your hips before you lean over and switch on your beside lamp.

"Come in." You grumble trying to infuse as much annoyance into your voice as possible.

You weren't really sure who you'd been expecting, but it certainly hadn't been Bucky. You glance down at his feet as he stands in the doorway, unable to meet his gaze. Neither of you says anything for a moment. Beginning to feel awkward you clear your throat.

"Is there something you want, James?" You rarely used his given name, but your feelings were still raw from his snub. Endearing nicknames were not what you wanted to use right now.

When he still doesn't respond you huff and shift away from him, flinging the covers over yourself. You really didn't want to play games. You hear his footsteps approach and travel across to the other side of the bed. You shut your eyes as soon as you feel the covers slide down your head and body. Another moment of silence passes. Finally, Bucky sighs and murmurs,

"Y/N, please look at me."

You want to refuse him, but curiosity won out. You slowly open your eyes and peer up at him, hoping the puffiness from your bout of crying isn't noticable. Bucky kneels, carefully picking up your hands and gingerly holding them against his firm chest. You feel the steady rhythm of his heart underneath. You glance at your joined hands than back up to his face, eyebrows quirked in confusion.

"I want a do over." He says finally, "I'm a complete idiot, I know. I need you to understand that I never wanted to hurt you. I made you a promise, and I never break my promises. Just ask Steve." He winks and grins widely, trying to alleviate the tension.

His mood swings were starting to make you feel like you were on a roller coaster. One moment he was sweet as honey towards you, the next he was acting like he wouldn't touch you with a ten-foot pole. It was getting tiresome.

"James..." You pull at your hands but they remain firm in his grasp. You inhale a shaky breath, tears pricking your eyes anew.

You drop your gaze to your body lying on the bed. You had wanted to give him one perfect night. The gift of one good memory out of so many bad ones. Now instead of the gorgeous gown you’d been wearing you were dressed in a plain chemise. Your curled hair brushed out, not to mention your face. It was scrubbed clean of makeup, a combination of you washing or crying it off. No, this was not how you had pictured yourself appearing when you made this memory. You offered a more practical excuse than this however.

"James, it's too late. I wanted tonight to be special for you, but I can't even stand right now. I – I overdid it tonight. My leg is killing me and I'd be useless as a dance partner." You laugh bitterly.

Bucky is quiet for a few seconds, his thumbs grazing the backs of your hands lazily. You can physically see the lightbulb go off in his head when he gives you a sly grin.

"I can work around that."

•••

After a little more convincing on his part, you agree to Bucky's do – over. He cautiously scoops you up and carries you bridal – style out into the hallway. Just as he had the day you'd been injured, although this time was much more pleasant.

Inside the elevator you rest your head on his shoulder, content to be close to Bucky like this. You let your eyelids shut for a moment, soothed by his even breathing. The elevator dips as it stops. You’re aware of the gentle sway as he resumes walking but you keep your eyes closed, trusting him.

“Open your eyes, doll.” Bucky whispers softly.

You comply, looking up at his face before shifting your gaze outwards. Your breath is taken by the sight.

Amid the stars and city lights below Tony’s landing pad twinkles with flashing lights. A soft wind blows a few strands of hair across your face as Bucky moves you out onto the center of it. The blinking lights illuminate you both. It was like you’d stepped out into the middle of the sky, surrounded by the tiny celestial bodies.

Lost in your wonderment you’re caught by surprise as Bucky gently drops your legs. He easily catches you by your waist before your feet even touch the ground, careful not to put weight on your healing leg.

He draws you closer, placing your feet atop his as the sound of an old forties song begins to play around you. You hold Bucky’s gaze with wide eyes, speechless.

“I know it’s a little late, but may I have this dance?” He asks in earnest.

You can only nod shyly. He smirks and wraps his metal arm around your middle, supporting your weight as he moves his feet to sway to the music.

As the music continues you laugh quietly, a little giddy from the whirlwind of emotions you’d felt that night. You press your cheek against his shoulder. Trying to memorize the feel of his arm pressed to your back. The soft material of his dress shirt wrinkled beneath your hands. The words of the music playing. You feel Bucky’s breath whisper against your ear.

“I’m sorry it took me so long to realize my mistake. I just… didn’t want you hurt because… of what I am. What I’ve been.” He admits.

You lift your head to stare into his clear blue eyes, the low light deepening them. Suddenly you’re aware of the hidden emotion in them, afraid of what they’ll find in your returning gaze. He was opening himself up to you, part of him expecting you to reject him. You notice his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows, uncomfortable with your scrutiny.

You smile sweetly, placing a gentle hand to his cheek, brushing your thumb along his cheekbone. His eyes flutter closed as he presses his face into your palm, so touch starved.

“Everyone was some darkness in their past, Bucky. You, Nat, Steve, Sam… even me. You can’t dwell in it forever, but if you must then let me stay in that darkness with you.” You intone quietly.

Bucky doesn’t respond, letting your words work themselves into his mind. The song slows and he dips you. You let your knees bend with the motion, holding his gaze. Without much thought you lean up and press your lips to his.

You would have thought you’d prodded him with a taser the way he jumped back. So caught off guard he drops you flat on your back, breaking the magic of the moment. You burst into laughter as Bucky swears and drops to his knees, apologizing. He scoops you into his lap, running his hands along your body, inspecting if he’d hurt you.

“I’m fine, Bucky. I’m a little sturdier than that. A little fall isn’t going to kill me.” You grasp his face between your hands, forcing him to meet your eyes.

“You’re a good man, James Buchanan Barnes. I believe in you, even if you don’t.” You say gently.

He glances down a moment, his hands trailing along your waist as he draws you closer.

“I’m beginning to understand that.” He says just before he captures you lips once more in a burning kiss.

EVERYTHING TAGLIST:

@booktvmoviefangirl @lowkeybuckyb @mrsdaamneron @xxashy999xx @c-ly-g @coal000 @rroguebones @ghostlyrose2 @part-time-patronus @emelielwh @peaceinourtime82 @buckysforeverprincess @geeksareunique @amnahs9695 @v-2bucky @scarlet-skywalkers @lokilvrr @thisismysecrethappyplace @sacre-bluhm @tatertot1097 @until-theend-oftheline @amoonagedaydreamer @marvelouspottering @thatfanficstuff @chuuulip @averyrogers83 @ellaprime68 @shield-agent78 @jewels2876

BUCKY BARNES TAGLIST:

@bloodiedskirtts @igotkatiepowers @misplacedorphan @superwholockwannabe @moonstruckhargrove @ladysergeantbarnes

[writingforloki]

Sparks fly - Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Take a pizza ma heart. 

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader.

Summary:  Y/N settles in to her new place at the Avengers tower, friends are made, pizza is ate.

A/N: Chapter 2 is here! it took a bit longer than I expected bc v unexpectedly I had a social life this week! So still not loads of Buck in this chapter, but I feel like we are still setting the scene. Also I love slow burn. Pls let me know what you think!! (ps my writing is a bit naff, I know this, I'm just getting back in to the flow after not writing fiction for about 6 years.)

here is chapter 1

~

After Sams comment broke the tension in the room, the rest of the introductions went pretty smoothly with everyone welcoming you as a new member warmly, although you knew that you had a long way to go and a group like this wouldn't trust you completely straight away, you'd seen what some of the members of the Avengers had been through and you weren't about to overstep your boundaries with them.

“So where's Y/Ns room then? I bet she's dying to take a load off and settle herself in.” The voice came from Bruce, who had smiled comfortingly at you and shook your hand warmly when you were introduced to him, it was almost as though he could feel the sense of anxiousness itching its way in to your brain, you didn't much like being the new kid.

“Oh yeah, its down here let me show you, I've already had your stuff moved up here and you can do whatever you want to the room.” Tony said walking ahead of you, turning to gesture animatedly while he spoke.

You followed him out of the meeting room and down a corridor, the chrome walls were all so uniform and every corner looked the same, you hoped you wouldn't get lost. Tony started to explain about the bedroom situation, telling you that he’d had to install more bedrooms when the newer avengers started to live at the tower, he explained briefly that not all of the team actually lived there full time but you all had a room, just for as and when you needed it.

“So your wing is part B of the permanent residents, so you have Bucky, Wanda, Vision, Sam, then you have Peters honorary room, you know really I didn't wanna give him a room because technically he isn't an avenger and he's too young to be hanging out with a group of freaky adults with a lot of personal issues, but he got all sad and thought we didn't want him around so he has a room in the permanent wing to visit but I usually kick him out back to his aunt's house when he becomes a pain in the a-”

“Hey Mr Stark!” A cheerful looking face popped around one of the doors, it was a face you didn't recognise but it was youthful and by the look on Stark's face, this must be Peter.

“Damn it kid what're you doing here? It's one pm shouldn't you be at school?” Tony sounded exasperated.

“Erm uh no Mr Stark it's the Summer holidays so I thought I'd come hang here for a bit, Aunt May wanted to clean and I just wanted to get out of her way you know!”

Tony pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head “Right okay but remember you should come through the front door rather than sneaking in through the window, one because it’s freaky as shit when you just pop up and two because if there was an emergency, you could just be nappin away and nobody would know because you're supposed to be at school!”

“But .. it’s the holidays Mr Stark..” The kid trailed off looking confused.

Stark shook his head and shot him a look “So not the point but okay. So if we knew you were here, you could've been at the meeting and we could have introduced you to our new trainee member, Peter, Y/N, Y/N Peter.”

You waved at the kid, “Hi nice to meet you Peter, I get why you’d wanna come chill here, it's pretty cool.” You smiled and he smiled back at you opening his mouth before Tony glared at him and and told him to go home, pulling him down the corridor and leaving you at what you assumed was your door.

You pressed your thumb against the fingerprint activation lock and the door swung open to reveal your new home, the room was big, with a large bed on the back wall, a desk, a TV, chair and a small sofa, this was the nicest room you’d ever been in, it was devoid of personality and a little cold looking at the minute but you still had your personal items to set up and make it your own.

You turned and opened the wardrobe, it was already full of your clothes, that confused you, but you assumed tony had many people at his whim to do things like this for the team. Nearly everything was unpacked save a one box, so you brought it onto the desk and opened it, this was the box of your most personal things, photo frames, movie stubs, your jewellery box, you set them up around your room and put some bits on to the pin board on your wall, your head spun when you heard a gentle knocking on the door, it was Wanda, she was stood in the doorway, a soft smile on her face.

“Hey, how’re you settling in?” She asked kindly, her eyes scanning the room.

“Good so far, the rooms amazing, I'm just trying to put a few things around the room to make it feel more like home you know?” You cast your eyes down and perched on the bed. Wanda looked at you with sympathy in her eyes and came to join you.

“I know how you feel, it’s weird coming here, everyone's great and all but we all know what it's like to be the new kid, to have nowhere else to go, and anyone of us will have time to listen to you if it all becomes too much or if you just need a chat.” She spoke softly.

“Thanks Wanda, I really appreciate it.” You smiled at her lifting your eyes to hers before standing up and wiping your hands on your jeans, “So what am I actually supposed to do around here Tony mentioned something about having training to do but he got distracted with that Peter kid, what's his deal by the way, is he just like a relative of Tonys or?”

Wanda's laugh caught you off guard, “Peter? Did Tony not tell you? Of course he didn't, Peter is Spiderman, yeah Tony doesn't like him being around that much, he says its because hes annoying but really I know he just wants him to have a relatively normal life, I think he makes him feel all paternal.” she said her smile now stretched to a grin.

“Wait hold up, that was Spiderman?!” Your face must've looked quite a picture because Wanda started laughing. “But he's just a goofy little kid! He said he was still at school!!” You exclaimed, shock radiating off you, as the two of you broke into giggles at your reaction.

You didn’t know if it was the sound that brought him over or if he was just on his way for a visit like Wanda, but another knock on the door got your attention, when you looked up Steve was in your doorway, smiling fondly at the two of you.

“Hey we’ve just got pizza if you guys wanna join us?” he tilted his head slightly, making him resemble a puppy, even if you wanted to say no, you definitely wouldn't be able to.

“Pizza? Yeah I love pizza, pizzas great.” you shuffled over to Steve and Wanda followed you as you made your way down the hallway to a room you hadn’t been in before.

“So this is the kitchen / living area, we usually eat in here but we have another living room with more sofas that doesn't get used as much, one of us will show you that later.” He said as you rounded the corner in to the kitchen where there was about ten pizzas spread across the table.

Sam, Nat, Clint, Bucky and Bruce were the only ones left from the meeting, with Steve explaining to you that everyone else had other responsibilities to attend to away from New York.

“So I’m guessing Tonys not explained what you’ll be doing here training wise for the next few months?” Steve asked, he was usually the one who ended up designing the training and workout regimens for the newcomers anyway.

“Um no, I must tell you though, I'm a real beginner, I don't really have much experience with training and working out a lot, I mean I walk all the time, gotta get those 10,000 steps in a day, plus I don't like public transport that much and I don't own a car..” you trailed off as you felt yourself babbling under the pressure of all the people in the room looking at you.

Steve smiled kindly at you as you blushed at your own awkwardness.

“Don't worry about it, we’ll start you off slowly tomorrow, usually it would be me starting you out with boxing and a bit of light training but I have a mission for the next two days so it’ll actually be Bucky you're training with tomorrow.” He said picking up a slice of pizza and put it on his plate.

“Oh okay, cool.” You said turning to lock eyes with Bucky who was across the table from you, you smiled and he gave you a small one in return which you appreciated it even though it looked awkward and didn't really meet his eyes. Maybe he’s just shy, you thought to yourself.

“Don't worry, he’s not as scary as he looks.” Sam said elbowing him in the ribs making Bucky glare at him.

Suddenly you were aware that it was probably the apprehensive look on your face that made Sam say that. “Uhm no he’s not, I mean you're not scary, sorry did I look scared you're- you don't look scary, you look nice!” You gabbled on, afraid you’d offended the man. God you really did have to stop talking shit when you were nervous.

Sam let out a loud laugh and the rest of the team save Bucky joined in, who was now looking embarrassed but you couldn't help but see how the corner of his mouth twitched up in amusement.

As if you weren't already afraid enough for training, now with your lack of experience combined with embarrassment you were really dreading tomorrow.

~~~

If anyone wants to be tagged drop me an ask!

This fic is also on Ao3

[littlemaatta]

Beyond - Peter Parker x Reader

First of all this is a sequel to “To Infinity” linked here 

As you probably already know... ENDGAME SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT!!!!!!!!!!!

warnings: endgame spoilers, fighting/violence, and did I mention endgame spoilers??? 

tagging: @capsmuscles

After the snap that erased half of all life in the universe, you and your Avenger family didn’t know what to do. 

Your other friends and family were mostly all gone, but you clung to the ones that were left just as they clung to you. 

You had met a woman named Carol Danvers almost directly after the snap had happened. You and the other Avengers regrouped at the base and as you all stared at the mysterious blinking pager that Nick Fury had pressed the button on right before he dusted away, a woman suddenly appeared behind you. 

She told you who she was and why she was there. And after she rescued Tony and Nebula, they made a plan.

You were told to stay on Earth, they didn’t want you to be there if things went badly, but they played it off as needing you to man the comms and alert them of any changes. 

Not that you had much left in you to argue with them about it, feeling the loss of half of the people that you had met in your life was taking its toll on you. 

It didn’t take long for you to feel Thanos’ death. Then you feel Thor’s rage and Nebula’s shame. 

Soon, the Avengers returned to the compound and you went home to be with the friends and family you had left.

FIVE YEARS LATER

Five years have gone by since the snap. Natasha is running operations from the compound, Tony has moved away with Pepper and their daughter, Steve is still helping people. 

And you are still helping too. Without much else to do that doesn’t make you sad, you resort to helping people like Peter would had he been there. 

You answer a call from Natasha one day, expecting her to just tell you she has another mission for you, but instead she asks you to come to the compound as fast as you can. 

You rush to get there and when you arrive, everyone gives you a warm welcome.

“What’s going on?” you ask, concern lacing your voice and brows furrowed as you feel the hope and anxiety radiating off of all of them.

“We have a plan.” 

Time travel. 

The teams are made, the times are set, and when Bruce pushes the button, you are all sent on a ride. 

You are with Thor and Rocket, your main job being to serve as a distraction for anyone you may run into trouble with by manipulating their emotions. Your other job though is to keep Thor from doing anything stupid. 

Out of all of the Avengers, he has changed the most. Even you can tell how screwed up he is just from the short time that you knew him. You had met on the Wakandan battlefield, only briefly but it was enough for you to know he was a good person. You can feel that his heart is still the same, but it is severely damaged, shrouded by guilt and shame. 

You and Rocket end up being the ones to retrieve the Aether, and then get chased by the guards. You find Thor, whose heart feels much lighter now, and you return to the future with the reality stone. 

Everyone else returns with theirs too. Except for Nat. Because you had been in different times, you hadn’t felt her death until you returned to the future, where her passing had taken hold. Everyone’s immediate anger and misery deepens your own. 

You contemplate using your powers to alleviate some of their pain, which would mean you would feel more of it, but you know they all need to feel it and grieve in their own ways. 

The gauntlet is made, and the wielder is chosen. Bruce. 

He snaps. 

You fall to the ground, on your hands and knees, eyes squeezed shut.

“Y/N!” various voices shout around you.

Steve kneels in front of you, looking for some way that he can help.

A phone buzzes in the background, adding to the noise inside of your head.

You look up at Steve after a moment with panic in your eyes, when your mind clears of all of the souls returning and you feel different souls entering Earth’s atmosphere, “They’re he-”

You are cut off when the building around you collapses.

Steve grabs you and puts his body between yours and the debris falling around you. You are both knocked out as the shots continue to rain down on you.

When you come to, he helps you to your feet and you both exit the rubble with Thor and Tony. 

“Y/N, I need you to stay here,” Steve says as you all look down at Thanos, sitting amongst the destruction, waiting for them.

You simply nod in response and watch as they all walk down to meet him.

The fighting ensues, and it is brutal, every hit that the three of them take, you cringe. 

When it’s down to just Steve, wounded and wielding Mjölnir, Thanos amasses his army behind him. The space dogs you had fought in Wakanda, his children, and giant monstrous creatures you couldn’t even fathom before, but they were standing right there. The Chitauri creatures from the Battle of New York are in the sky along with many small ships, just underneath the giant one that rained fire down on you all not long ago. 

It seems like it’s the end. But then someone’s voice comes over the comms. 

You hadn’t gotten the chance to tell Steve and the others that it had worked, that you had felt every missing soul reappear.

You smile at the sound of Sam’s voice, and you walk down the mountain of debris to join Steve as you feel all of your friends in different locations preparing. Their anger and power radiate through you and as you take your place beside Steve, the portals begin to open. 

T’Challa, Shuri, and Okoye. Sam, Bucky, the strange tree creature you had briefly glimpsed on the battlefield. Wanda. 

Wakandan ships and troops. 

A woman riding a pegasus. 

Wizards. Aliens. 

All of them there to fight Thanos.

And you can feel his confidence drop as Steve yells, “Avengers. Assemble!” 

With a blaster in each hand you run at the army. 

You take down enemy after enemy, your skills having improved even more since your last big battle.

It’s in the middle of the battlefield that you finally see him, you’ve felt his presence for the entire time but laying eyes on him is a different feeling entirely.

You watch him swing in, kicking someone in the face as he does, and land beside you. 

“Peter.” you breathe, a smile coming to your face as you look into his eyes. His arms wrap around your middle and he squeezes you tightly. Your arms find a place around his neck and you close your eyes as you take in the moment. In the middle of a battle, you reunite with the boy you care for so deeply.

Your moment is short lived, and you both pull away and give each other a nod before continuing on. 

When the battle ends, you hold Peter as you watch Tony fade away. And you hold his hand in yours at the funeral. 

When it’s over, finally over, you know you won’t ever be able to go back to the way that things were before. The ones you have lost still linger in your heart. But the ones you have help you to move on.

[kenzieam]

The Call of the Void - Chapter Four

Rating: M (language, violence, mentions of torture and abuse, eventual smut, angst)

Genre: Drama/Angst

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Word Count 3.1 k +

Some fluff and sweetness, tempered by more darkness; enjoy my lovelies.....

**Potential Triggers, please read with caution**

Steve instantly zeroed in on the awkwardness between Buck and Nika when he returned in the quinjet a few days later. He shot a ‘what did you do?’ glare in Bucky’s direction before wrapping Nika in a tight hug, laughing at something she said to him and Bucky felt a sharp pang straight through his heart. He wanted that; hell, he could even say he was jealous of Steve for the relationship he seemed to have forged with Nika; he wanted that easy intimacy, the freedom to sling an arm over her shoulders and feel her lean against him, tell a joke and hear her musical laughter.

He would never willingly deny his oldest friend a chance at happiness, if Nika had chosen Steve over him, but it absolutely broke the shredded remains of Bucky’s heart to watch them. After his bumbling affection a few days ago, would Nika pull completely away? She had so far, avoiding Bucky at every turn, he’d not even been able to catch fleeting glances of her outside. He’d felt it, the same crazy rush race through Nika as it had through him, the lightning bolt of pure energy as their lips connected. He hadn’t meant to kiss her, hadn’t even realized he was going to, but to hear her defeated words, to see the sorrow and shame on her delicate face had broken something deep inside him, and his lips had crushed to hers before he could think clearly, could tell himself to stop, that he had no right and, even if he did, it was too soon.

Nika’s request for a truce was both a blessing and a curse; in one way, she’d felt the same pull as him, the crazed draw and absolute necessity to connect, but she also was willing to pull away, put necessary distance between them. Nika was still far to tangled in her horrible past to even consider such things right now and, even if by some miracle she was, Bucky was mired down too. He still woke almost every night screaming from nightmares, pulse-pounding memories of HYDRA drawing yet another anguished howl from him, the brutal agony as his mind was wiped again and again, the stubborn ache of his arm, the infuriating itch of his scars.

But lately, in the last few days, his night terrors had taken on a different flavour; whether true memories or just more tangled misery his brain had decided to torment him with, Nika had now entered his nightly horrors. Images, or perhaps memories, of her made to stand in front of him, fresh blood reddening her pale, delicate skin, while he towered silently; the Winter Soldier, awakened and ready to comply. Had they been made to fight each other, as his nightmares suggested? Had Pierce wanted to ensure she was his equal or better in battle, and they’d been ordered to fight each other to investigate this? Time and again struggling to near death, until either hers or his handlers called them off, pulled them away from each other to observe with clinical detachment the wounds they’d inflicted on each other? It was definitely a strong possibility, at least in the first few years of Nika’s training, before the accident; she was meant to be his destroyer, of course HYDRA would want to ensure she could not only hold her own against the Asset, but defeat him as well.

Equally as horrifying as these was the possibility that Bucky had completely wrecked any chance he’d ever had with Nika. By giving in, by losing control of himself so early, had he broken the fragile thread between them? He would have no one but himself to blame, Steve had warned him to stay away and beyond simply accepting his hand, Nika had not given him any further encouragement that warranted his actions. She needed a friend, a confidante, not a tie to her past panting after her like a dog.

Slinging an arm over Nika’s shoulders just as Bucky feared, Steve wandered towards Bucky, feigning nonchalance but watching the former Winter Soldier carefully. He halted a few feet away.

“Everything go alright?” He asked, eyes boring into Bucky’s.

Bucky swallowed, about to give it all away; he could never lie to Steve, when Nika replied instead, pressing a hand to Steve’s broad chest in a surprising display of trust.

“Fine, Steve. Pretty chill actually.”

Steve glanced down at Nika before looking back at Bucky, who schooled his features carefully and nodded. Suspicion flashed briefly through his eyes but Steve nodded back, returning his gaze to Nika. She dazzled him with a wide, genuine smile that sent a fresh spike of pain through Bucky.

“How was the mission?”

“Boring, wish I could’ve stayed here.” Steve replied. Reaching up he rubbed the back of his head, hand rasping through the short strands. “I’ve actually got to head back to DC soon, as much as I want to stay, what-”

“I’ll come back too.” Nika replied, dancing out from under Steve’s arm and falling into a playful boxer’s stance.

Glancing back at Bucky in surprise Steve turned to face Nika, blocking her gentle jabs with a chuckle.

“Bored?” He drawled.

“It’s beautiful here,” Nika conceded. “But it’s too quiet, I have way too much time to over-think and fixate on things I can’t change, I’d rather be doing something,” she paused then, dropping her fists. “I have to talk to Nat, we.... we need to talk.” The playful gleam in her eye stuttered out, replaced by a bleak sombreness that tore at Bucky’s heart. Nika was too young to carry this weight and Bucky ached to relieve her of the burden.

“You sure?” Steve asked. “You haven’t been here very long-”

Nika lifted her head and while her eyes were red-rimmed with unshed tears, they were calm and confident. “Yes.”

***************************************************************************************************************************************************** Bucky had considered staying in Wakanda after Steve and Nika left; she’d attached herself to the Captain like a barnacle, Bucky thought sourly; and all but ignored him. Whether this was punishment or self-preservation he didn’t know, but it hurt all the same. The night he returned, after Nika had dragged him out to ooh and aww over the sunset, Steve had tracked Bucky down and cornered him, demanding to know what had happened. Chronically unable to lie to his best friend, Buck had stuttered the truth and, while he hadn’t liked it, Steve hadn’t quite lost his shit like Bucky expected him too.

“She’s just got on the right track, Buck.” Steve sighed, running his hand through his spiky hair. “Shuri and Wakanda helped her with this amazing breakthrough, I mean look at her, she’s glowing; but she’s still fragile.”

“I know, I-”

“I know you love her.” Steve replied bluntly, crossing his arms over his chest and Bucky stumbled to a halt; had he been that transparent?

At Bucky’s expression Steve scoffed gently. “You didn’t really think you could hide that from me Buck, did you? We’re brothers, I know you, I’ve never seen such a heartsick look on your face before, but hold it back, okay? Give her time to decide what she wants. Even though Tony’s chomping at the bit to have her join the team, she’s free to do whatever she wants, and if that doesn’t include you, you have to accept that.”

Bucky heard the simple wisdom of Steve’s words, but they clawed at his heart nonetheless; he’d chosen to join the Avengers, to try to amend for his past sins by fighting for good, but what would Nika do? She’d been brought into the KGB as a child with her older sister, then stolen into HYDRA without her consent; she was well within her rights to wash her hands of the entire business, do what Bruce did a few years ago and go completely off the grid, start raising chickens or spinning wool or something.

Just because Bucky’s entire being now depended on her didn’t mean she belonged to him.

Steve tutted sympathetically, slapping Bucky once on the shoulder before turning away.

***************************************************************************************************************************************************** In the end, Bucky had decided to return to DC too, and spent the majority of the flight slumped in the rear of the quinjet, watching Nika and Steve in the cockpit. At one point Steve had even let Nika take the controls, and Bucky had been unable to resist a wide smile at her happy squeal, a pure, carefree laugh of joy and excitement. She’d even forgotten their imposed separation and looked back over her shoulder to yell eagerly at Bucky, tease him and laugh at his cheerful reply.

Nat was waiting nervously beside Clint in the common area, waiting to see her sister again. The air was thick with tension; although Nat had not been involved at all, Nika had always been told that her beloved sister had betrayed her, and all of their previous interactions had been traumatic and stressful. But Nika was different now, having shed a heavy weight in Wakanda, woken up from cryofreeze with a new hunger for life. She was by no means cured, but was definitely in a much better place than when she’d left, would her new benevolence extend to her sister as well?

Surprise flashed through Nat’s eyes when Nika arrived; Steve had just told her a joke and her laughter rang through the hall, sounding like the most honey-sweet melody to Bucky’s biased ears. The rest of the team stood off to the side, informed of Nika’s progress through Steve, but wary to see it or, in some accidental way, wreck it.

Nika came to a halt suddenly upon seeing Nat in front of her, losing her balance enough that she needed to lean against Steve for a heartbeat to regain it, then taken a single, slow step forward. Mirroring her, Nat took a single step as well, pulling out of Clint’s protective embrace. For a long beat, they just gazed at each other, eyes conveying untold number of words and thoughts, then Nika smiled.

“Sister.” She greeted, her Russian lilt musical.

Nat sagged with relief, instant tears streaking down her cheeks. Letting out a choked sob she bridged the space between them and wrapped her arms around Nika, both sisters starting to cry in earnest, pulling apart only enough to wipe tears from the other’s cheeks and giggle wetly before embracing tightly again. After a long moment they stepped apart and, after wiping at her eyes again, Nika turned to the rest of the team.

“Hi,” she started nervously, sounding nothing like a highly trained Russian assassin, “I apologize for my... behaviour before, I hope you will all give me another chance.” She startled slightly at the team’s instant clamouring, their immediate reassurances and welcomes, glancing over her shoulder at Steve, who stood looking like a proud father a few feet behind her, then moving closer to the mob, tentatively shaking the various extended hands before being pulled bodily into a bear hug by an over-eager Thor. After a moment, the Captain took over, sensing Nika’s slight faltering and waded into the pack, elbowing team members aside before pulling Nika to his side comfortingly, a pang shooting through Bucky’s chest as he saw Nika lean gratefully into him.

“C’mon guys, let her breathe.” He scolded gently before looking down, asking with a raised brow if Nika was alright.

Sensing they’d perhaps pushed too far, the team fell quiet, eyeing Nika and her blond protector uncertainly and it was Tony, the sarcastic but caring uncle who spoke next.

“Who’s up for pizza? “ He chirped, glancing around. “Y’all get your party clothes on, we’re going to eat ‘till we puke and watch ridiculous sci fi from the ‘60’s.”

“No way,” Sam cut in. “We watched that Plan 9 shit last time, it’s cheesy ‘80’s action movies tonight.”

“Uh uh,” Clint laughed. “It’s ‘90’s Rom-Com night.”

Sam blew a raspberry. “You just wanna make out with Nat-”

“Perhaps,” Thor boomed, not even needed to raise his voice, “our treasured guest should choose our amusement.”

Bucky’s fists clenched with suppressed rage when Thor winked Nika’s way and Steve elbowed him subtly, indicating that he had in fact growled out loud and not just in his head like he’d thought.

“Whatever,” Tony quipped, “we’ve got like four thousand to choose from, by the time the pizzas get here we should have something hammered out. FRIDAY!”

“Yes, Mr. Stark?”

“Pizza night, order the usual. Hey, wait!” He turned then to Nika, raising a brow. “What kind do you want, little Widow?”

Nika shrugged, glancing uncertainly at first Steve and then Nat. “I’ve haven’t had pizza for a long time.”

Tony turned with a flourish and continued to holler at the AI. “One of everything they got FRIDAY and tell them to not to frickin’ dawdle; there’s an extra Benjamin in it for the delivery boy if he gets here before I park my ass on the couch!”

“Yes sir.” The AI sounded almost dry.

Tony whirled again, absolutely in his element. “Thunder Thighs, you and Chickenhawk are on drink duty, and bring more than just Asgardian Mead and Mountain Dew this time.” Thor and Sam traded a glance before turning and disappearing, grumbling, into the kitchen. The rest of the team began to wander away, arguing about how many bags of chips to bring, leaving Nika, Nat, Bucky and Steve standing in a small circle.

“Make yourself at home, Devushka. Nat’ll show you your room then it’s time for a refresher course in Western indulgence.” Tony sauntered away, reminding Bucky of a bantam rooster.

Smirking wryly Steve turned back to Nika, offering a soft smile. “Doing okay? Tony can be a bit.... much.”

“He’s like a little rooster,” Nika mumbled, so quietly only Bucky caught it and he snorted a laugh, clasping a hand over his mouth and choking back a howl.

Frowning briefly at Bucky Steve grinned, “yeah, he’s a hoot, give you the shirt off his back however, once you’re in his circle.” Clearing his throat he looked over at Nat. “You want to get Nika settled? Despite whatever Tony says that pizza’s going to be at least half an hour.”

“C’mon sister,” Nat smiled, arm looped in Nika’s. Gently she tugged her in the direction of the team’s rooms, Bucky and Steve staying put, watching them. Steve smiled warmly as he saw the girls tip their heads together to touch, talking quietly as they walked away.

“She’s so strong.” Steve murmured, almost to himself. Inhaling sharply he turned to look at Bucky, frowned good-naturedly at the brunette’s scowl. “Down boy,” he quipped.

***************************************************************************************************************************************************** After a spirited debate and many threats of mayhem the stalemate was finally broken by Nat rolling her eyes dramatically and grabbing all the DVDs being waved around, dropping them into a bag, shaking it briefly and holding it towards Nika to reach in and choose. Howls of mock-outrage rose as Nika pulled one free.

“‘Wall-E’? Who the hell wants to see that?” Sam was absolutely scandalized, side-eyeing the whole group. Bucky looked down, cheeks reddening.

Nika glanced at him, then stared at the cover. “It looks cute.”

Sam rolled his eyes.

Wall-E was just staring in awe at his new spork and Rubik’s cube when the pizza arrived. Nika stared in awe at the array of food that was brought up, while Tony played a rather highly strung host, prying open boxes to sniff at them suspiciously before announcing the flavour, brushing off Steve’s attempt to point out the name of each pizza scrawled on the lid.

“I can read, Captain Underpants,” he replied dryly before flipping open another box with a flourish. “Hawaiian!” He declared.

Even with Tony being no help whatsoever, everyone was soon situated back on the couches, armchairs and floor, plates piled high with pizza slices, cups overflowing with the rainbow of drinks Thor and Sam supplied, and the movie was resumed.

Nika was absolutely entranced by the movie, absurdly touched by the lonely little robot and his gentle journeys, his clumsy attempts to gain E.V.E.’s attention. The rest of the team were paying similar attention, even Sam; and it amused Nika to see the fearless and heroic Avengers staring almost awestruck at the screen. Squished between Thor on one side and Steve on the other, Nika was occasionally distracted by Thor’s booming commentary, ducking a pillow thrown by Clint at their self-appointed Master of Ceremonies with a giggle, laughing outright when it cut Thor off mid-word, making him sputter in surprised indignation and consequently missing Bucky’s longing gaze at her.

As Wall-E ended Sam leapt to his feet, declaring they needed some real culture and grabbing the original Star Wars, shushing token protests with a flapping hand before informing Nika she was finally in for ‘real entertainment’.

Thor’s rolling commentary never wavered, although it hovered between certainty and confusion at certain parts, ‘Odin’s Beard! What is that appendage?’ but by the time the end credits were rolling and the team was drifting out of the room Thor had exhausted himself and lay sprawled beside a crowded Nika, head dropped back against the couch, mouth hanging open and snoring. Shrugging off the massive arm the God of Thunder had flung over the both of them earlier Steve stood, offering Nika a hand to stand as well and she couldn’t hold back a giggle as Thor grumbled in sleepy protest, mumbling something indecipherable before falling silent again. After a quick whispered conversation, Nat hugged Nika goodnight then left, holding Clint’s hand tightly.

“Hope we weren’t too overwhelming,” Steve grinned.

Nika shook her head as she yawned. “No, it was nice; back in the program we watched western movies only to learn and assimilate into the culture, never for fun, it was good to just sit back and enjoy for once.”

Bucky, who’d been hovering in the periphery, felt a surge of surprised sympathy. It was easy to forget that Nika had been a prisoner even before HYDRA, kept captive and trained to be a master assassin like Nat had and, if she’d been allowed to partake in anything fun like she had tonight, it had been under the shadow of education and research, moulding her into a killer chameleon rather than just letting her be a kid.

“Heading to bed?” Steve continued.

Nika shrugged. “Yeah. It’s been a long day.”

“Alright, goodnight Nika.”

“Goodnight Steve. Goodnight Bucky.”

Bucky startled slightly, feeling an almost childish shame at being discovered, then swallowed and replied. “Goodnight Nika, see you in the morning.”

Nika drifted away, the epitome of grace and, as Steve turned around to smirk in amusement at Bucky, he stuck his tongue out and flipped his blond friend the bird.

[upsmymindwanderedagain]

Story of The Ice Wolf

PART 4.1

OTHER PARTS:

PART 1      PART 2    PART 3    PART 4.2

WARNINGS: mentions of blood, major character death (reader), mentions of suicide (kind of).

By the way this chapter is +5K words.

Hey fellas! now I know that by the warnings I spoiled a little what is to come in the story, but I hope you enjoy the chapter.

Now regarding the chapter this is NOT THE LAST CHAPTER, we have a couple of twists ahead, so buckle up, grab onto something and twist your undies this is getting wild.

Almost everyone in the room nods their head in approval. The only ones that don't are Wanda, Pietro, Bucky and I. Fury turns his head towards us waiting for an answer "Wolf, I rather have you choosing before I have to command you to go". (assholes). I lock gazes with Bucky, he sets his jaw and faintly nods, stiffly I answer "We are going".  I give Tony some lasts words, my voice a low hiss of rage "Stark” he locks gazes with me, we stay like that for brief moment before I sneer at him “Don't cry like a bitch if this turns out to be a trap". I stroll past Fury. Wanda, Pietro and Bucky following behind, the latter lingers in the back briefly, without turning around he adds "Suit up with extra ammo. We won't waste bullets saving your stupid asses". ----  [Two days later S.H.I.E.L.D base in Russia] I lift the lid of a 30-inch-long metal suitcase. Inside is all the gear we used during our days as Hydra's top assassins. "You don't have to wear that. You are an avenger, not Hydra". Wanda says while collecting her weapons, consisting in twin daggers and twin pistols. He taught us well. Every weapon of mine has a white howling wolf head, I start putting on my gear. Everything is matt black, bullet proof vest, cargo pants, gear belt, gloves, the left shoulder pauldron has a wolf head but I choose not to wear it. I strap on my chest harness with my matt black twin katanas on my back, twin baretta pistols are holstered to my thighs. Lastly a matt black uzi is clicked on over the katanas. "I know, but this will be our clue is someone tries to shift into me and gets in the building. You are the only one who knows where I keep it. If something feels off, never doubt in using our conditioning". I give her one of the gas masks. The same model as Bucky's except Wanda's is deep red. Mine is a wolf muzzle. Lastly our leather hooded long trench coats. "Something is indeed off" Wanda states, her voice and eyes showing her worry. "Be careful little one, you and Pietro are targets just as Bucky and me, watch each other backs". She locks gazes with me "Don't do anything stupid Y/N/N". "I can't promise you I won't, I miss playing with this toys". I say while point to my back. "I'm serious Y/N" she says while crossing her arms. I stand in front of her, my hands run up her arms before taking her face in my still bare hands "I know my love, I will be careful". I caress her face with my thumbs I lean in kissing her slowly, her hands travel behind my neck pulling me closer, we keep kissing until I feel our need of air intake, I slowly untangle our lips putting a last kiss on her forehead lastly I engulf her in my arms. I choose our mother language to tell her a last "I love you Wanda". "I love you too Y/N". ---- “Y/N!” I rush of air pass me by to reveal Pietro, “why didn’t you tell me you are going all Ice Wolf mode?” he says groaning a little “We could have gone full Hydra mode to kick their asses”.“So, you didn’t see that coming?” I state raising my eyebrow in mockery.“I expect my copyright money by tomorrow sistra” he says with a smirk.“Don’t whine silver devil, I got this for you” I hand him his grey long trench coat and gas mask, Wanda hands him his weapons twin handguns and a set of daggers.“Have I ever told you how much I love you sistra?” he says full smirk in his face, he rushes to put the items on.“The deadly four back together? Hydra won’t see that coming” Bucky says walking towards us.“Copyright dude!” Pietro exclaims groaning. We only laugh at his exasperation.---Everyone is already on the hangar, all suit up and ready. Thor Is leaning against the aisle wall to the hangar. "Thor! Is good to see you my friend, are you coming with us?". "Wolf! Lady Wanda, sir Pietro is good to see you my friends" he says while he engulfs Wanda on a bear hug we lock our forearms as greeting. "Bucky is good to see you too". "Where's Loki?" I ask looking around for the god of mischief. "One of us had to stay in Asgard, he sends his regards and this" He gives me a small liquor flask. "Thank you Thor" The five of us walk to the main platform, 3 quinjets are ready. Tony wastes no time to be full sass ass mode "looking like that I'd think you are truly going back to mother Hydra". We only give him a mighty eyeroll. "Don't you dare to start tin can" I glare at him. Clapping her hands agent Hill calls for our attention. "We have three quinjets. Two for attacking and one more for backup. The first one will be led by agent May, and her striking team Morse, Daisy, Mack, Fitz and Hunter, Y/N you are joining them. You are alfa team” the five of you nod in understanding.The Second quinjet is for the avengers, Beta team. And lastly the backup team is Simmons and Dr. Banner leading the medical team, a squad and myself. Let's go". --- --- [Alfa team quinjet] The ride has been comfortably in silence, since hunter is not in the plane there’s no one throwing nonsense around, however you can feel the gaze youngest one of the group set on you, which is amusingly fun to you “Daisy you either have a question or you are stalking me”  Her eyes widen comically in realization of her mistake, but she can’t hold back her questions "What's that gear?" curiosity written all over her face. "This was the gear I used back when I was Hydra". Bobbi twist het body towards us "You are pretty lucky Daisy, they are a few that can say that they have seen the "Ice Wolf' face and gear and live to tell the tale" she winks at Mack. Mack’s eyes widen in realization "You are the 'Ice Wolf’?". "Yes" my voice has a hint of arrogance. "Bobbi, May you knew?!" his eyes bounces between the two woman piloting the quinjet, he is having a hard time believing the mockingbird, "You have to be kidding me, I worked undercover to kill you".Poor Fitz and Daisy only look at us a little lost about the exchange. "I have the scar to prove it" I say winking at him. He looks a little sheepish "You let me live". My only answer is a nod and a lopsided smile. ---- We land a few miles away from the meeting point. We grab our weaponry and get down. "Alfa team ready to move on”. May says through the comm. "Fitz stay back, we need someone watching for interferences". If you detect any hacking running, blow off the channel". His eyes widen in surprise "Wolf tha-that was not the plan, May?" his gaze shifts between both of us. "She is right Fitz, do as she say" May orders before putting up her balaclava and eye gear. ---  --- The cold is indeed a bitch, and having almost half of my body made of steel doesn't help my cause. We see a tag laser flicking three times. I return the signal "I'm taking the lead". We creep towards the source point me in the front, behind me is May and Bobbi lastly Daisy and Mack are guarding the back. We get to the place, Hunter is crunching hands behind his neck. "what the fuck are you doing Hunter?" I enquire with annoyance. "Well you hesitated, besides you are dressed up like Hydra. I didn't want to get shot". "Pick up your gun. Everything is set up". I give him one of the coms, “put this on”. I nod towards May. *All clear, Alfa team moving towards the target*. *Beta team moving on* Steve says. --- --- The more we move into the base, the more I fell something is wrong. Hunter is never this serious. We reach an intersection. Hunter starts moving to the right hallway. That is the wrong path to the cages. I can hear some banging and thuds on the far end of the left hallway. It doesn't take me long to realize that is a morse code. -Trap, get out-. (I look towards Bobbi and May, silently telling them to play along) "Hunter there was a change of plans". We alfa team are collecting intel instead. I stroll to the left, Hunter catches up to my right. But I see that he starts to get nervous. The banging starts increasing, I can hear two guards hidden at the end of the corridor. When we are closing in there's a scream "GET OUT IS A TRAP!". Without hesitation and before the impostor can react, I slam my elbow on his left side crashing him against the right wall, having no time to lose, I smash my steel fist on his ribcage breaking the sternum, stopping his heart. I take off the com from his ear. The guards show up and start shooting at us, I use the shifter body as shield and then throw the dead body towards them, knocking them off, Bobbi moves over and makes the final two shots. "Bobbi, Mack go for Hunter". Y/N, Daisy stay sharp" May orders. Daisy raises up her assault rifle. I take my twin guns; the corridor is too narrow to weld my twin katanas. *Agent Hill. Hunter was a shifter, enhanced and two guards down*. *Avengers currently fighting off a group of enhanced. Natasha, Clint and Bucky are deeper in, on the archive, bombs in place* Steve calls through the coms. *Alpha team there's a unit marching up to you*. Fitz says while searching for an exit route. *Hill speaking. Widow take what you can and hurry back to regroup*. *All the teams securing the base is priority* Fury sternly orders. *Roger that, Alpha out*. *Roger that, Beta out*. *Roger that, Widow out*. Shuffling can be hear in the back. We turn around as them get close. "Seems like you are no longer the pretty face Hunter". "Fuck you Wolf" his voice is raspy and tired, but his usual smirk is in place. "With that face? Ha you wish, Morse he is all yours" Bobbi only rolls her eyes. Hunter indeed took a beat down, he has several gashes on his face and has a mild limp. "Anything to be worried about?" I sternly ask.  "You aren't the only one that can take a private dance with Hydra Bitches Ice Wolf, I said nothing". I took off the uzi from my back "A treat for your silence" I hand him the machine gun and three extra mags. His eyes light up like a kid in a candy store, he lets out a low whistle. "Can I keep it?" "Is all yours If I die, which is not happening" I say spinning the hand guns a little. *Are you done playing? Move* Hill says through the com. May takes the lead, Daisy at her left, myself on her right. We engage a couple of guards, nothing big. When we reach the main hall, we are met with a rush of bullets. We dodge them diving back to the corridor. "Everyone ok?" May asks. "Yeah". I try to peak behind the wall, but more bullets are fired. "Damn it! Daisy how many?" "20 and two enhanced" She says looking towards May for instructions. I chose to holster my twin guns. Pressing a bottom in the jawline the muzzle transforms into a full wolf head. Slowly I draw out my twin swords. Daisy is staring at me part speechless and confused. "Eyes on the enemy kid, don't blink. Bobbi, May with me. Mack, Hunter watch our backs, Daisy rip off as many guns as you can". May and Bobbi roll two sets of smoke bombs towards the enemies, as soon as the cover sets the hunt begins. Agony screams, and clash of metal fill the space, like a switch you let yourself dive in the thrill of the fight, instincts taking over. The six of you work like a team taking down every single one of the agents, a couple of minutes later when the smoke vanishes, the only ones standing are the enhanced soldiers. One has inhuman strength, the other one shifted into a weredog. That damn dog is fast, it takes me a little more time to figure out her attack pattern, this time when she leaps towards my face let her bite my left forearm as I bury my right katana through her heart. Mack is holding on place the strong one but not for longer, Hunter puts a bullet on his head. Daisy gets close to me gun down. "Are you ok?". "Yeah, I didn't give her chance to bite deep", with a swift move I remove the blood from the steel of the sword, leaving a streak blood line. “Let's move on, the fight has just started". --- --- *deep breath in* *breath out* The thundering of my heartbeat is almost deafening. This was indeed a well-planned trap. We fell like moths into buzzers. Someway Hydra now has iron man like suits, luckily not as strong as Tony's, but still too many, to make it funnier they have more enhanced on their ranks. My ribs are hurting like hell, my spine feels like it's on fire. No doubt I saved Tony's stupid ass shoving him off the way of falling debris, but I end up in the path of a blast from the suits, it hit me in the lower back, the force pushed me forward to an awaiting suit it's round kick took a toll. Tony blew it up, but there's no wonder why I'm currently trying to catch my breath. The teams have merged and even Maria joined us with twelve more agents as backup, we are fighting side by side. *Wolf?* *Wolf?! Where the hell are you?!* A very angry Captain America was shouting through the coms. More bullets ricochet in the debris close to my location. *Wolf?!* *No need to shout Cap, not deaf. Had to dive behind the debris south to your location. I have ten Hydra goons shooting non-stop*. A body slides beside me. "Wolf, do you have more ammo?" Bucky says leaning on my left ear, between the thundering of my heart, instructions through the coms and the sounds of the battle is actually a surprise we can hear each other. "I just said I'm hiding, does it looks I have ammo?". "No hurt in asking" Bucky says, with a hint of humor. *Hill we need a plan to get the hell out of here* Tony says clearly out of breath. *Says the one who is bullet proof* I grumble. *Don't be Smartass (Y/N) besides you are half bullet proof robowolf*. *Key word ‘half’ Asshole, my ribs are killing me* *That's enough!* Fury shouts through the coms. Maria takes over to order around *Vision, Scarlett, Daisy go ahead and keep the quinjets doors free from enemies they are getting close**Silver take Daisy first, then come back for Hunter, start retrieving whoever is hurt* Hill orders. *We need a distraction team* May says. I Turn off my com, and press the bottom of the muzzle to retract it "Hey Bucky what if we make Hydra remember why they should miss us? Pass a mag". "What makes you think I have a mag?". “If you didn't you wouldn't be smirking”. You look up searching for the Asgardian “Thor! Can you clear the middle of the battle field?!". *Bucky! What is Y/N up to? her com is off, but I can hear her* Steve screams. *Wolf! don't make anything stupid* Hill chastises you. "Sure Wolf, on your mark!" Thor shouts back a big smile on his face no doubt he is enjoying the thrill of the battle. I take out the liquor flask from my trench coat to take a good gulp, I pass it to Bucky, he briefly takes off his mask to end the other half as I take off the bulletproof vest, it’s weight make it harder for me to breath with the broken ribs, after roll around and crawl in snow the damn thing is heavy. I turn on the com again *Guys three count. I'll give you a distraction* I set on the muzzle again *Three, (Y/N!), two, (Don't), one*. *Fuck!* Hill and Steve shout through the com.*Language cap* Tony calls out. Thor lands shocking at least thirty of the soldiers. Bucky and I jump out of our shelter to start clearing a path towards him. As we get close to the middle I see a soldier aiming at Wanda’s back, I didn’t think twice to leap in the bullet path, making it clash against the right side of my chest while throw a knife burying it in the middle of his forehead “Scarlett go I’ll cover your back”.Vision flies close to lift Wanda, the briefly lock gazes (“Be careful puppy”). ("Stay sharp little one"). Hunter and Mack cover Pietro while he takes Daisy. "Everyone back off!" I yell. Steve features are set on a deep scowl even his helmet can’t hide it "Wolf! Bucky! Don't make anything stupid!” he glares at both of us.When I ran out bullets I unsheathe my katanas, Bucky rises his uzi and hand gun, we start a lethal dance his bullets barely missing my body as we take down the agents around us. "For fucks sake Wolf!" Steve shouts again through the coms, exasperation clear in his voice, the rest of us only laugh at him.*Language capsicle* Tony sass through the coms. *Don’t sweat it cap. Thor raise a storm as cover* I say. Pietro rushes back and retrieves Hunter, Maria and her unit cover him. In the distance I see Nat getting hit by a round of bullets, she takes down the soldiers that aimed at her before diving for shelter. "Wolf! Widow is down!” Bucky is now full panic mode, his voice can’t hide his worry. *Everyone listen up run to the quinjets, Bucky I’ll back you up. Pietro meet me halfway to retrieve Widow she is down*. I slash down three more goons, using the last one’s body as shield when a rush of bullets comes at me before Bucky shot them down *Nat we are going for you!*. We reach her just in time to shield her with our bodies from an explosion". Clint and May shoot down the ones close to us and run up to us to cover our backs "Guys you alright?" We lift off from Nat.  "Guys you are bleeding" May points out, blood is slipping from our ears, my head is pounding with a buzz. "I'm fine” I try to shake off the dizziness “Nat hang on". Bucky lifts her off the ground, the red head refrains from showing any pain, barely grunting, we start running to meet Pietro, May, Clint and me covering them. Clint lists Natasha’s injuries through the coms *Banner Widow has three bullets on the right leg and burns*. We see a blue blur, Pietro skids a little bit before coming to full halt.  "Today is your lucky day Piet, you get to have Nat in your arms" I say as Bucky carefully puts her on his arms. "See ya at home honey, Wanda and I will start the party by ourselves" Nat says seductively at him, Bucky briefly takes off his muzzle to kiss her in the forehead. "Battered and bloodied and still an asshole Nat” I say while shoot down the agents around us. I squeeze Pietro’s shoulder "Go Piet".  "Hurry up Y/N your wife is a wrecking mess" Pietro says before running off. "May, Clint go ahead we will cover your back". A deafening sound races over our heads we follow them with our heads *Stark, thirty suits are getting close to the quinjets. Take them down*. May and Clint are unaware. But more suits are coming. Before I can warn them, we start move on to the quinjets, a blast knocks them.  May took the worst and I ran up to her, as we run another blast lands near us too. Leaving us even more dizzy and buzzed. We try to shake off the dizziness and keep going, but we end up falling like a new born fawn, Thor comes to our help. We push through the wounds, Bucky, Thor and I fight around May and Clint to keep them safe while the silver devil returns "Guys!" Pietro's face appears before my eyes, Thor lands close "Come on, we have to go". "Piet, take May. Thor take Clint go ahead. Go don't look back. Buck and I will hold them off". "Damn it sistra! Hurry your fucking ass" reluctantly both men head back to the planes.We go back to intercept and incoming group.--- Pietro and Thor enter de Med Quinjet, laying down May and Clint on stretchers.  *Thor! I could use some help, I have quite the number of suits smashing me up*. Tony says. *Y/N, Barnes get your asses back to the quinjet. More suits and soldiers are heading towards the jets* Fury says. Pietro is back in the Avengers quinjet trying to catch his breath, when he realizes something. -Don't look back Piet- "Fury! Block the bombs, Y/N will..." too late several bombs go off, the force of the waves shut close the doors. Tony and Thor are slammed against the planes.--- [before the explosion] Barked orders in Russian can be heard alongside screams of pain. The Ice Wolf and the Winter Soldier are making a carnage out of the Hydra soldiers. *Angel retrieve them on my mark. Snipers set the guns* ---  [Before the bombs go off. Quinjets] *Avengers, is everyone in the quinjet? Hill asks* *Pietro where is Y/N?! Wanda ask with a trace of worry in her voice* she is still outside keeping the quinjets guarded. *She is not with me, I lost her in the middle of the battle field after she handed me agent May*. *Alpha team we have agent May with us, is Wolf and Buck with you?* Banner inquires as he tends stabilizes the Russian wounds. *Negative* Bobbi answers as shoots down some soldiers. *Damn it!! I should have known better than leave them behind!* Tony starts panicking, He and Thor are fighting suits outside above the jets. Tony starts shouting *Wolf?! Buck?! Are you there?*. *Y/N! James! You have to get your asses back here now!* Hill orders. *heavy breathing, clashes and gun shots* ---- [before the explosion battle field]. The clashing of metal is the only thing that can be heard, blood stain and becomes one with the snow. Something hits me in the head, metal against metal, sparks fly. "Fuckers!" That blow broke my com, damn it. (Too much for an abandoned shelter. These fuckers keep coming at us, seems like everyone is in the quinjets now). I feel the sting but no pain, several bullets have grazed my body, I know where I need to head to. I start running again slicing everything that feels close, I ran out of ammo, long ago, I’ve taken and used some Hydra guns but I still have my two 27-inch katanas. I see a shadow running towards me, "Bucky! Why are you still here?!".  "Fury is calling us back, everyone is back in the quinjets". "There's a wave of suits racing to pass through here to the quinjets. Stark suit is damaged, Thor can't strike them with the quinjets that close". We stand in the middle of the battle field, there’s smoke and blood around us, my swords are pointing downwards. "Turn off your com Buck". *Barnes don't...*. I sheath my swords. "I hacked the bombs". I show him my phone screen. "Let's try to outrun them". He laughs drily “Too much for not saving their asses” a bittersweet smile takes over his features. I flash him a lopsided smile “At least we go down as heroes Buck”. I take the lead sprinting ahead, I didn't see Bucky turning on the com again before he sprint off with me. We run as fast as we can to put as much distance as we can before I set the bombs off. --- "Sir, we have them in sight".  "Shoot them down. Angel go for the bodies".  --- We were too focused on ignoring the pain and running, our already damaged eardrums barely register faint whistle. Little spider drones get attached to our steel limbs, we try to shake them off, but an awful electrical shock takes us down, the snow crunches under our weight, we scream in agony, like panicked animals set to scape we try to stand up to run again, another whistle, this time the little spiders pierce the skin. Before the charge hits us. I press the button. Our lasts screams are deafened by the bombs going off. --- [Fury's quinjet above the battle field] "The quinjet is stabilized sir, no damage" the co-pilot calls. *Agent Hill, what the fuck was that? I ordered you to hold off the bombs* Fury angrily says through the coms. Maria’s voice can’t hide her shock *Y/N hacked the bombs sir and set them off. The bombs took down the suits and soldiers heading here*. "Sir, there's no more activity in the area" the co-pilot calls again. --- [Avengers quinjet] The energy wave rattles the boarded quinjets that are still on ground. Wanda shackily gets off the metal floor her voice trembles under the wave of emotions trying to overcome her “No… no… this has to be a sick joke”. *Steve please tell me that Bucky and Y/N are with you* Nat says through the com. *They are not here Nat* Steve sternly says in his attempt to keep his emotions in check. The quinjet gate opens, Thor and Tony walk in, the billionaire his suit starts to crumble. Wanda tries to run off to the explosion site, but Pietro stops her hugging her. "Sis... is not safe to go". "They could be alive..." Her voice starts to tremble "the-they have to be alive" she tries to look into Steve's eyes, but his gaze in downcast. "Steven, we have to go back". *Negative Scarlett we scanned the area, there's...nothing there* Hill stern voice gone, sounding more sad that commanding. *Everyone get ready to take off* Fury orders. "F.R.I.D.A.Y, run a scan". *Already done Mr. Stark, negative*. Wanda breaks into heart wrenching sobs and starts fighting against Pietro’s hold. Steve gets up and hurries to hold her in place, he tries to stay strong but silent tears run down his face too "I'm so sorry Wanda".  The billionaire tries to stay calm his mind racing in possibilities "Thor seems like you forgot Mjolnir there". Tony motions Vision to go too. The Asgardian his shocked but he gets the hint, he Vision hurry back. *Captain, Stark. We need to…*  *Not now Fury* both of them angrily say. [Med Quinjet] Clint limps to Nat’s stretcher to engulf her in his arms "I'm sorry Nat". She starts to silently cry on his shoulder.Jemma and Bruce keep tending them and setting the equipment but their silence is their attempt to not crumble down.

As the title says this chapter is divided in two, the second part will be up right after this.

I hope you all enjoyed the chapter.

PART 4.2

[generallynerdy]

9 Angry Teammates (Avengers X Reader/Loki X Reader Part 4/Finale (12 Days of Fandoms: Day 4))

Day 1, Day 2, Day 3

THIS IS THE FOURTH AND FINAL PART TO DAYS 1, 2, AND 3. IT IS RECOMMENDED YOU READ THEM FIRST OR YOU WILL NOT UNDERSTAND.

There is complete chaos as everyone immediately begins to investigate just who gave them their gift. Well, almost everyone. Some people, like Bruce, are very aware of who was their Secret Santa and don’t really care for the prize at the end. See, you didn’t exactly tell anyone what the prize is. It’s special and you’ll announce it the day guesses are confirmed or debunked, meaning Christmas Eve..

The day comes to announce who guessed correctly and who didn’t, also revealing just who was the Secret Santa for who. It’s excited and nerve wracking to see how everyone will react, especially those who were gifted things by those they consider...not so much their friend. Still, you’re excited.

“Okay, everybody!” You end the conversations and start to pull out your list of who gave who what. “We’ll go through who had who and then we’ll check guesses to see who was right!”

Everyone shifts in their seats, nervous and excited as to who gave them their special gift. Everyone received something that was near and dear to them; something special that they won’t easily forget. As such, they all desperately want to know which genius they need to thank.

“First up-” You start with a devious smirk on your face. You decide to go in your own order rather than top to bottom of the list, since this could be so much more fun. “Vision was Sam’s Secret Santa, Sam was Scott’s Secret Santa, and Scott was Clint’s Secret Santa.”

You smile to yourself as they thank each other quietly and say a few other things, thankfully waiting til the end to completely talk over their gifts.

“Wanda was Bruce’s Secret Santa, Bruce was Thor’s secret Santa, Thor was Rhodey’s Secret Santa, and Rhodey was Vision’s Secret Santa.”

More surprised looks, knowing looks, and smiles follow. It’s nice to see everyone getting along even with all that’s happened. Furthermore, nothing has gone completely wrong this year! That’s a huge difference!

“Clint was T’Challa’s Secret Santa and T’Challa was…” You trail off, taking a deep breath and smiling at the recipient of T’Challa’s gift. “Bucky’s.”

Bucky’s eyes widen as he turns to the Wakandan king, who glances away momentarily. Bucky subconsciously touches the leather jacket that he’s wearing, the very one he received from T’Challa, and mumbles. “Thank you, your Highness.”

“Please, T’Challa is fine.”

You smile brighter at the exchange, pleased that your plan has worked. At least there’s some form of communication there and the wall has clearly been demolished between them.

“Bucky was Tony’s Secret Santa.”

More shocked faces and small conversation. Something along the lines of thank yous from Tony happens as well, but it’s difficult to catch. Though tensions are still somewhat high, this has definitely started the path to reconciliation between the team.

“Tony was Peter’s-”

Peter’s eyes widen and he turns to Tony with his jaw dropped, taken aback by the touch of sentimentality that he’s shown. “Mr. Stark?”

With everyone’s eyes on him approvingly, Tony glances down awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck before clearing his throat. “Uh, yup. Tony’s just fine, kid.”

Peter smiles brightly and launches himself across the little circle formed by the team, straight into Tony’s arms for a hug. He wraps his arms tightly around the billionaire, who freezes at the contact, his arms in the air with uncertainty. “Thanks, Tony.”

Aws go around the circle and you nod encouragingly at Tony for him to hug Peter back. Slowly but surely, Tony lowers his arms around Peter and tightens his hold, smiling to himself. “Sure, ki- Peter.”

Your heart melts at the exchange, but there’s still a few more names to go as Tony and Peter separate themselves, Peter taking a new place next to Tony with a smile and a sparkle in his eyes.

“Peter was Steve’s Secret Santa, Natasha was Wanda’s, and finally-” You’re cut off suddenly by Nat sending Steve an incredulous look.

“Steve?”

The super soldier turns a new shade of red and glances at the ground nervously. Next to you, you can hear Bucky snort with amusement, to which you elbow him roughly and shush him. Tony is wearing his own smirk and is about to comment something, but you chuck one of your slippers at him, which shuts him up just long enough for the exchange to continue.

“The drawings are yours?”

“Y-Yes.”

Natasha, instead of another reaction, smiles to herself. Briefly, you can see Clint writhing in pain on the side, having been elbowed himself. “They’re great, Steve. You should be proud. Thanks.”

To everyone’s shock, she leans over and pecks Steve on the cheek. Even more surprising, Steve takes charge and turns his head, his lips meeting her own.

Immediate uproar follows; cheers and squeals, not to mention shouts of pure shock and astonishment. As they pull away, Steve’s flushing face returns to its normal color and Nat’s smirk turns to a genuine smile. “Not bad. Second time’s the charm.”

Obviously, the group takes some time to process through what just happened, each in their own way. Peter takes pictures of everyone’s faces as well as the happy pair, Tony starts rolling on the floor in confusion, and Bucky can’t wipe that smug look off his face. You have your own reaction of a squeal and hopping up and down excitedly.

However, you can’t help but notice Thor and Loki whispering harshly in the corner, Loki still wearing the scarf he received. Once everything calms down, Thor clears his throat.

“Lady (Y/N)?”

“Yes, Thor?” You answer him with a smile, amused by his politeness, even in the presence of close friends.

“Who was Loki’s?”

There’s silence.

“Well, erm…” Your face turns a darker shade of red than Steve’s and uproar occurs again. Tony is practically screaming before Peter drags him back to the ground and threatens to web his mouth shut. Natasha is laughing her ass off, joined by a few others who knew very well just what happened.

Loki, on the other hand, is smirking.

“What are you smirking for, brother?”

“I was right, then. I believe I need to claim my reward.”

“(Y/N)?! Was he right?!”

“Are you serious?!”

“He was the only one who got it right?!”

“Um, I do not approve of this!”

“No way! Not him for that prize!”

“What the fu-”

“Dude! I’m pretty sure I guessed right, too!”

“Nope, nope, nope, nope-”

“Loki you better not touch (Y/N) or I’ll kick your ass!”

You sigh to yourself and motion for silence, which everyone responds to dutifully. “Yes, Loki was the only one who got it right, which means-” Uproar again, but Thor quickly shuts everyone up with a strike of lightning outside. “Thank you, Thor. Loki, um…”

Loki steps closer to you with a smirk, a mere few inches away from your face. You can’t help but stare into those emerald eyes and blush brighter, if that’s even possible. “And what is my reward?”

You take a deep breath and close your eyes, thrusting your face towards his and locking your lips together, immediate gasps and screams from the team. You thoroughly enjoy the kiss, strangely enough, and spend as much time as you can with your lips against his. They’re unnaturally cold, but in a comforting way. It seems as though Loki himself even enjoys the kiss, as he doesn’t attempt to pull away and his arms are tightly wrapped around you. It’s only when you pull away that you finally see the chaos of the now destroyed living room.

“You guys, what the hell?!”

[kittenwritesstuff]

Till the end of the line

Fandom: Marvel Pairings: Steve x (sister)reader, slight Bucky x reader Genres: so. much. angst, tiny bit of fluff Words: 2.810 Summary: Not wanting to leave her brother’s side, reader insists on getting the serum as well. She lives through it all, fights by his side and eventually comes face to face with Bucky, the man she fell in love with, who’s now HYDRA’s weapon - requested by @hopelessgarbage

Your eyes grow wide as you stare at your brother, trying to fully understand what he’s just said. A sickening feeling takes residence in your guts, filling you with nauseous dread.

“Stevie, please, tell me it’s just a joke.”

“No, Y/N, I’ve got enlisted. Legally.”

“B-but… how?”

“A doctor, who was examining me, told me that they have a special program and that I can participate, if I want to. I do want to. I’ll join the army, help the country-“

“No, Steve, no!” you whine, cupping your face as you lower your head, squeezing your eyes shut. It can’t be real, it can’t be happening. What kind of insane doctor looked at Steve and deemed him healthy to any kind of activities? Your brother is too small, suffers from asthma and heart problems, how could anyone agree on him joining the army?

“It’s too much, I can’t…”

“Y/N, I’m gonna be fine. Maybe they’ll fix me,” he shrugs, smiling weakly as if it’s not a possibly experimental treatment he’s signed up for. Steve looks too calm, too certain of this whole thing and you start to regret not cuffing him to a radiator as you said when he first mentioned enlisting.

“You don’t need fixing, Steve. You’re not flawed. I’ve already lost Bucky to the war, I can’t willingly let you go. Who knows if you ever come back to me?”

“Silly, of course I’ll be back. As will Bucky.”

“Both of you treat it like an ordinary camp. It’s war, Steve, kill or get killed.”

“You think I don’t know that?” he asks rhetorically, his tone turning serious and you lift your gaze to meet his big blue eyes. He’s made up his mind, you know you can’t reason with him. Nothing you can say will change his decision, and it breaks your heart.

“And Y/N, if you said a word, Bucky wouldn’t go. If you only told him…”

“No, don’t start with it again. I didn’t because it wouldn’t change a damn thing. He’d go and you’re well aware of it. I don’t need what-ifs and you-should-haves. Bucky’s gone and I… I need to deal with it somehow.”

Steve rises from his seat and comes to your side, putting his skinny arms around you and hugging you tightly. You never actually spoke about what you feel for Bucky but Steve is way too observant to not notice it. He didn’t prod, didn’t bug you to tell James, and you’re grateful for that.

It’s always been the three of you, since your childhood. You, Steve and Bucky. Together or not at all. As you grew up, however, your feelings for Bucky changed, became deeper but since Bucky didn’t show any sign of feeling something more, you remained silent about your affection. Steve was positive Bucky reciprocates your feelings but you were too scared of losing him to utter a word.

And now, when the war came, you lost him anyway. How cruel and ironic.

You bite on your lower lip to will away a sob as you realize that soon, you’ll be on your own. Alone, in a flat shared with Steve, waiting for your boys to come home, hoping that they’ll return in one piece. Foolishly, during last evening with Bucky, you promised yourself that you’ll confess once the war is over and he’s back but now, it all seems impossible.

Inevitably, the fate will gift you with a broken heart, regardless the outcome. Because you are sure that miracles don’t happen and either one of them, or – worse – both will get hurt and won’t return to you.

Unless…

“I’m your big sister, Steve, you’re gonna draw me in.”

“W-what?!”

“I’m coming with you. Or you’re not coming at all. End of the discussion. I promised mom to keep an eye on you and I intend to hold on to that promise no matter what. I’m coming with you.”

______

Steve knew better than to argue with you. You’d win, as per usual. You had more common sense than him, but equally lot of courage and so when Steve took you to doctor Abraham Erskine, the medic only smiled and gave you papers. You quirked an eyebrow but assumed that Steve was already kind enough to tell the doctor about his ‘overprotective’ sister, and you signed the papers.

The doctor then examined you and explained what kind of program you’d just signed in. Project Rebirth, as it was called, was a secret experiment to create America’s Perfect Soldier, someone who would lead and inspire the troops to keep fighting for freedom. He wasn’t convinced that bringing a woman to this program was a good idea but when you jested that nothing fuels men more than a pretty lady, he admitted that you might be right.

The training was harder than you anticipated. You realized they’d push you to your limits, just as they did with Steve, but neither of you gave up or even complied. It was a necessary step, despite all of the catcalling and teasing you received. More than once, you proved yourself worthy more than the men, prompting a smile to appear on Peggy Carter’s face and an expression of approval and slight surprise on Colonel Phillips’s.

You were happy when the day of injecting the serum came. It meant that, only in few days, you’d be fighting for freedom, for your country. You’d lie if you said that those ideals didn’t flood your head when you were training, backed up by Steve’s proud words.

Yet, concern for your brother stayed glued to your heart, no matter how many times he succeeded, no matter how many time he bested those bigger and stronger than him. He was still your little brother, your Stevie and you would protect him with all your might, small or big.

‘Taller’ wasn’t the word you’d use to describe how you felt after stepping out of the reactor. Steve went first and you prayed to whatever deity was listening that he’d walked out really ‘fixed’. Peggy held your hand reassuringly as the procedure was performed on your brother, surely doing the same for him when your turn came.

Admittedly, you didn’t grow taller. Of course, you gained muscles but what changed the most was the feeling of undefeatable, unstoppable strength, a sort of energy pumping through your veins. It came with a modesty, too, a respect of what was given to you and the sense that it should be only used for good, never for bad.

And so, you were utterly crestfallen that, after doctor Erskine’s violent death, you were proposed, almost ordered, to perform for people, turning Steve into Captain America and you into Miss America, the country’s role model sibling. You were to be symbols of hope and strength, to promote and encourage participation in war.

It wasn’t what you were supposed to do and soon, Steve and you decided to run away and serve in the army, as you were meant to be. Fortunately, Peggy was on your side and supported you through your breakdowns. You didn’t know what you would do without her.

Scared to death after finding out about HYDRA, an organization of power-abusing and ill-driven monsters, you fought with all your might with it. Knowing that it must be destroyed by all means necessary, to save Americans and whole world, you did what you had to and never hesitated.

You jumped onto the plate alongside your brother, not questioning this decision. It had to be done.

You reached for his hand when he piloted the jet, holding it firmly as you directed into the water.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” Steve muttered after connection with Peggy was lost and tears pricked at your eyes but you smiled regardless.

“Don’t be. I knew what I was signing for.”

Bucky’s grey-blue eyes was the last thing you saw before you hit the water.

_______

It gave you hope, to become a part of a team. Amongst the Avengers you found new friends, people who helped you with adjust to modern times and who gave you a sense of belonging, so much needed after you and Steve were awoken from the ice.

What you did not expect, what never even crossed your mind during dark times was that HYDRA was still growing, still alive, despite your efforts to take it down. It had its claws everywhere, even in something so safe and transparent as SHIELD.

Once again, Steve and you were fighting with it. Once again, you were trying to rid the world of its ideals, its drive to control every aspect of people’s lives and ignite fear. It had to be stopped so, with Steve, Natasha and newly met Sam, you are now running away from a chase, not even slightly prepared for what comes next.

A figure lands on the top of the car with a loud thud and before you can act, Sitwell is grabbed roughly and pulled out of the vehicle, a metal arm the only thing you managed to catch with your eyes. The steering wheel is ripped as well, giving you no choice but to abandon the car whatsoever. You grab your shield, Steve takes his and by some miracle, you jump off relatively unharmed, although scattered about the highway.

You land on lower level, on a car’s top and you groan when you roll underneath it, shouting at people to get as far away as they can run. A dull ache in your back briefly makes you unable to move but as Natasha darts in the distance, you jump on your feet, fishing out your gun. At least, you’re armed.

She manages to hit the metal armed assassin and then runs for her life, a hopeful look in her away as she passes you by.

“Get help, I’ll cover you!” you shout after her and dare a look over your shoulder to check on Steve. He’s unwounded, it seems, and so you position yourself, shooting at the men clad in black as they slide down on their lines, taking them down one by one. Steve stands next to you, using his shield to strike off their bullets as he slowly closes the distance between them.

And that’s when the Soldier makes an appearance.

Your brother hides behind a car and you do what you always do – you join him.

“Y/N, he’s too strong.”

“Bullshit. Okay, maybe. You go, Sam will cover you. I’ll be right behind you.”

Steve nods and doesn’t waste any second as he runs off. True to your prediction, Sam keeps the Soldier occupied for a moment and you use it to take off as well, creating as much distance as you can and crouch behind a car, immediately noticing Natasha’s phone.

“Clever,” you mumble as you realize it’s a recording and the Widow herself is stationed behind a car across the street.

The Soldier comes into the view again, preparing his gun. You watch him walking exactly when Nat wanted and when he rolls a bomb you know he caught the bait. Before you can even move, Natasha jumps and wraps her thighs around his neck, putting a line on his throat.

She’s not as successful as she wishes to be, however, because the Soldier sends her crashing against a car, giving her no time to recover. You do what comes up first in your head – you send your shield at his legs, making him lose his balance and Natasha uses that chance to flee, ushering remaining people to run for their lives, still she doesn’t run fast enough – a bullet reaches her, knocking her down.

With anger boiling in your blood, you decide to go against the Soldier. Hand in hand combat is a rather stupid idea but his gun isn’t prepared and when you reach him, you kick in it, disarming him. Then, you aim for his crotch but he backs away just in time, punching you in your stomach. You collapse onto the ground but, luckily, Steve is there on time – next punch collides with his shield and the sound resonates straight into your core.

Once you recover, you stand up and, working with Steve, you try to stop the Soldier. He seems to be undefeatable, even for the two of you fighting in sync, but somehow Steve manages to send the Soldier flipping over, losing his mask in the result.

Holding on your middle, where you believe you have a broken rib, you stumble to stand next to Steve as the assassin straightens up and turns around to face you.

Your mouth falls agape as a breath gets caught in your throat, your heart sinking and a cold shiver runs down your spine. You know him. You’d recognize him everywhere, even with long hair and that terrifying metal limb.

“Bucky?” Steve says out loud what your mind already knows, his voice thick and breathless.

“Who the hell is Bucky?” the Soldier says and his words are enough to completely beat you up, better than any gun can. It pains, more than all those hits he directed at you, more than anything ever, even seeing him fall from that bloody train.

You can’t quite make up anything after that moment. Somewhere from behind you Natasha shots at the Soldier – at Bucky – after Sam knocks him down. The assassin flees and then you’re taken by the Strike Unit, by HYDRA and you don’t know how but you’re driving in the van, most likely to a place you’ll be killed off.

You hear what Sam and Steve are talking about but you can’t really understand it. How is it possible? How did this happen? Why did they turn Bucky into the Winter Soldier?

“Y/N?”

“Y/N, please, say something.”

“He doesn’t know me.”

“He doesn’t know me either, Y/N,” Steve mutters, his voice filled with sadness and you bit harshly to not sob out loud.

“It’s okay, you can cry,” Sam sooths although you’re sure he doesn’t really get why Steve and you are so shaken. He didn’t know Bucky before the war. He didn’t know the caring, selfless man who often spent sleepless night with you when Steve was sick and you were afraid that it was it, that he would not wake up. He didn’t know the witty, funny guy who often said jokes just to make you laugh.

He saw only the HYDRA’s weapon, not the man you loved underneath it.

Steve answer the unasked question before you can open your mouth to stop him.

“Y/N and Bucky-“

“There was no me and Bucky, Steve.”

“I know, but you-“

“I still do.”

“Y/N-“

“No, Steve. Just don’t say it.”

_____

“I knew them. The two on the bridge.”

“You’ve met them earlier this week on another assignment.”

“But I knew her. I knew him. She’s…”

“Prep him.”

_____

After Maria rescued you and brought to Nick, you couldn’t do much. You were indifferent, deep in your thoughts. You only told you’d do anything Steve would agree on and so they gave you a part in taking down the Hellicarriers as a backup on the ground, in case Sam or Steve were unable to reach the panels.

You were glad that you didn’t have to face Bucky once again. The first encounter with him already did a damage and you’re not sure if you’ll ever recover from it. It’s way too much for you handle at the moment.    

It was even more heartbreaking when you got to Steve and he mumbled that it was Bucky who pulled him from the river. That he cracked the code, that Bucky remembered. You couldn’t believe it and you’re still not convinced if you should.

Despite your doubts, you are now standing by your brother’s side, looking at the file Natasha gave him. Everything’s there, all the answers and your heart starts racing at the mere thought that you’ll find out what happened to your Bucky.

“I said your name and he hesitated.”

“Steve, don’t torture me. I don’t wanna know about this.”

“Y/N, stop. I don’t want to hurt you but I think… I think you’re the one who can bring him back.”

“You’re going after him, aren’t you?” Sam asks as he approaches the two of you and you nod at him. He smiles, obviously already knowing the answer.

“You don’t have to do this,” Steve adds gently, giving Sam an opportunity to give up the case but the latter only smiles wider.

“I know. When do we start?”

“Y/N? You’re in?”

“Are you serious? Of course I am.”

“Thought so.”

“How can you ask? You know the line, Steve,” you squeeze a smirk, your eyes however remain sad and desperate.

Steve wraps an arm around your shoulders and pulls you into a hug, kissing your temple.

“I know, Y/N. Together or not at all.”