unfortunately i Do feel better when i clean my living space and eat enough fruits and veggies and go outside and generally remember i am a mammal :| real pity that knowing this does not make it easier to do those things
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Doing this bc I’m scared to and won’t on my own
if this gets 5k notes by October 20th, I will tell my dad about my eating disorder and get help to recover + therapist
Rules:
No spamming
5 notes per person including likes
if either one of those is broken, I’m reducing the time limit, basically making it less likely to hit the goal on time
FOR CRYING OUT LOUD PLEASE STOP SPAMMING
tagging is okay
Might delete later(sorry!) because I’m scarrredddd, I don’t wanna tell my dad >:l
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90% of art advice videos on youtube are unhelpful dogshit btw no matter how good someone is at drawing knowing how to draw is different from knowing how to teach people art skills
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Kind of funny. SPN was supposed to end in s5, with Sam in Hell, Cas in Heaven, and Dean on Earth, living with a wife and a son. But it ends after ten more season later with Cas in superhell, Dean in Heaven, and Sam on Earth, living with a wife and a son. Like some fucked up game of musical chairs. Except the chairs are never taken, the song remains the same, and they’re just going in circles. Anyways, Happy November 19th.
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I was looking into head trauma caused by bullet wounds to get a more realistic outlook on how the courier six would be off and they’d probably be at higher risk of having epileptic seizures, some kind of cognitive function impairment, ptsd, frequent headaches, and probably more that I missed. So yeah, shoot that son of bitch Benny as a little treat
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i feel peace and warmth in the knowledge that some ppl watch hockey games as if they were gay pornography
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liushennnn in my attendant sy au (read right to left)
notes on this au:
sy transmigrates into a new body when sqq fights the system trying to force him out of his body. sqq is livid and decides to take sy as his retainer/secretary/assistant, forcing him to do most of the accounting & administrative work on qing jing peak and work for sqq for free while also helping sqq avoid his tragic fate by telling him spoilers and secrets about the world that sy remembers. sy has no golden core and no cultivation, and cant wield a spiritual sword or fight. sy has no documents, no money, and no prospects. sqq basically provides everything for him & can also take it away. sy moves into the other room in the bamboo house and cleans and organizes as well, although his own room is a mess. sqq never makes it clear what sy's position on the peak is, so all of the disciples follow his orders in fear of disobeying sqq. sy is basically 2nd to sqq, although he doesnt see it that way; he sees himself as sqq's overworked servant. he resents sqq for his control over sy's life, but he's terrified of being kicked out.
sqq takes sy to the peak lord meetings as well, using sy to carry documents, serve tea, and to give him information about anything that might be useful to sqq if it comes up during the meeting. sy also often acts as a messenger for sqq between peaks. he doesnt get much interaction outside of senior disciples and the other peak lords.
since sy's hands are usually full with documents, accounting books, talisman paper, & anything else sqq wants him to carry, sy can't use his fan to hide his face as much. instead he uses his hair & his glasses. his skin is sallow & he often misses meals from running around doing sqq's errands, so he always seems tired. clothes he wears are simple & loose, either slip on or buttoned up. he dislikes loud & bright patterns bc he doesn't want to stand out, but sometimes has no choice bc sqq buys his clothes. sqq will often make him wear more extravagant patterns, even when it makes sy nervous about attracting attention.
since sy seemed to appear out of nowhere to the other sect members, sy is very worried about acting too suspicious and getting kicked out. he copies sqq as much as possible to acclimate to the world and seem unphased & elegant.
sy is very interested in the other peak lords since he interacts with them often, especially liu qingge. liu qingge often catches him staring, but sy tries not to interact with anyone more than he has to. liu qingge usually sees him hiding behind sqq as a buffer. if sy does speak, he does it low & quiet, & if behind his fan if possible.
sy looks like his old body & has long black hair, similarly styled to sqq by his insistence. sy dislikes this.
sqq calls sy "a-yuan" bc sy doesnt like it. sy doesnt like telling people his name though bc it makes ppl think theyre related, which he also doesnt like, so he doesnt stop sqq from indroducing sy as "a-yuan". this makes it very difficult for other ppl to know what to call sy in fear of being too familiar
sy does meet sqh earlier in this au, and he helps him as much as he can get away with behind sqq's back. since sy is less bound by the system than sqh is, sqh sometimes "sponsors" sy to do things he himself cant do.
sy calls sqq the equivalent of "sir".
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