#TELL ME WHAT YOU'RE HAUNTED BY ; ( meta )

[carpeomnes]

tag drop

[minty364]

DPXDC Prompt #108 Part 2

The thought sounded ridiculous and yet Damian found himself unable to completely scoff at the idea. He himself had seen some strange things in his lifetime and it wouldn’t be fair to completely dismiss the idea outright. 

“I’m unsure what your point is but I guess I suppose they exist.” Damian eventually said.

Danny chuckled at this, “I guess you're not from Amity Park huh?” he joked.

Damian scoffed, “I’ve never even heard of that place but I gather that’s where I am at the moment?” He mentally filed the name to search later. 

“Yeah, born and raised. Anyways, we’re the most haunted city in America. Ghost’s are real, you’ll probably meet one at some point. They’re uh… kind of attracted to me? Kind of like… “ He trailed off for a moment, likely lost in thought trying to come up with an example. Damian was going to call him out for spacing, they were probably running out of time before one of his siblings or Pennyworth came to check on him. Luckily Danny continued, “Hey, what city am I in right now, maybe there’s a comparison I can use?” Danny asked.

“Tt, did you not even think to use GPS to find your location before calling me?” Damian scoffed, his supposed ‘soulmate’ was incompetent, “You're in Gotham.”

“Gotham? Well I guess you could compare them to Batman’s rogues then, however they tend to play a little rough. It’s kind of how ghost’s bond.” Danny’s explanation made it sound like he was the one roughhousing with these ghosts. He wasn’t quite sure where this was going but he let him continue, “so well… this next part’s kind of hard to explain especially without proof but well… I’m what the other ghost’s call a halfa. I’m half ghost half human.”

Damian opened his mouth to retort, the notion that you could be half dead was ridiculous really. But as soon as he opened his mouth a cold blue wisp wafted out of his mouth shocking him. An unfamiliar feeling washes over him and he looked down in terror as he started sinking into the bed.

“Explain your power’s now, I appear to be sinking into your bed.” Damian demanded. The feeling was odd, it was almost as if the bed didn’t exist. 

“Uh, right, Okay… so, it’s kind of emotion based? Take a few deep breaths and you’ll be able to ease yourself back out.” 

Damian did just as Danny instructed and took a few deep breaths. Soon he was able to solidify and sit back up on the bed. Suddenly, a knocking sound was heard through the phone. 

Shit, just like he thought, they took too long and one of his siblings came to check on him. He thought it was sweet that they cared, but he’d never voice this thought out loud to anyone. 

“Danny, I need you to listen very carefully. I need you to open the door and hand the phone over to them. Don’t say anything, understand?” 

“Uh Okay?” Damian could tell Danny was raising an eyebrow at this but he did as Damian told him anyway.

“Uh, Hello?” The voice on the phone said, Damian recognized it as Tim Drake-Waynes. 

“Drake, Please step into the room and listen to my instructions,” Damian waited a moment as he heard the door shut. “Alright, meet my soulmate Danny, apparently his parents study soulmates and they did something and now we’re in each other’s bodies.”

He heard Danny sigh, “It was only supposed to strengthen the soulmate pull. It’s not my fault they don’t know about my weird biology.” 

“Weird Biology?” Drake parroted, “do they not know you're a meta?”

There was a pause before Danny spoke, “No, I’m not a meta… but for the simplicity of things, and this conversation, sure, you can call me a meta.” There was a tiredness to his voice, as if he had this conversation with someone else before.

“The name’s Tim,” he told Danny, then Drake suddenly said in an excited voice, “hey, let’s let him in on the family secret and prank Bruce. Let’s tell everyone else about it and see how long it takes him to figure out it isn’t you… we’ll have to train Danny of course. If he really is your soulmate he’s going to find out eventually and it might be good to prepare him ahead of time” The idea sounded ridiculous to Damian but at the same time, he was recently having some doubts about his Father’s attention on him. Drake had a point, if Danny really was his soulmate, he’d find out eventually. 

__________________________

Danny wasn’t sure what was going on, after he handed the phone off to Tim, they talked about some family secret. Soon Tim hung up the phone and turned to Danny, “Damian say’s Sam and Tucker are there and they’ll call back when he’s back up to speed which means that we need to get up to speed ourselves,” he glared at Danny. Danny, who was still wearing Pajamas stood there as Tim approached him. Once they were a yard apart Tim spoke again, “Listen, the secret I’m about to tell you must not be told to anyone outside of this house, got it?” He fixed a hard glare at Danny.

Danny shrunk back for a moment before a thought occurred to him, “why don’t I tell you my secret as well? Damian is already learning by now and since you're his brother you’ll probably be able to help out.” Secrets for secrets, that way they would both be afforded some leverage in the situation. 

Tim seemed to think for a moment with a hand on his chin, he nodded for a moment before looking up at Danny, “Alright, but tell me yours first.” 

[chaotic-neutral-knitter]

I've seen metas about Stede being a coward and I think that, when you're analyzing a show about how there's not just one way to be a man, that misses the point a bit?

like. Stede definitely thinks he's a coward and other people call him a coward. in the same way that Ed thinks he's a monster and other people call him a monster. these are labels that they both grapple with because they don't want them to be true but when people keep telling you over and over that you are [X], then you'll believe it eventually.

and the thing that gets me about Stede is that his cowardice isn't in the areas that his bullies tell him it is. his plan to steal a hostage back from Izzy is dumb, but it's also brave. the man keeps putting himself in physical danger, ALL OF THE TIME. he's naive, but he's also brave.

his decision to go be a pirate is brave, and Ed sees that. I'd even say it's one of the first things he recognizes and likes about Stede. because Ed also wants to change his whole life (but is struggling with actually doing it) and here comes this guy who just went and DID it. what the hell. better talk to that guy, see what he knows. (maybe fall in love with him)

Stede's only a coward when it comes to emotional stuff. there was probably a middle ground between "suffer in this marriage forever" and "run off to be a pirate" but leaving in the middle of the night was a way to escape hard conversations. there was also DEFINITELY a middle ground between "go to China with Ed and be eaten alive by guilt over abandoning his family" and "leave Ed without saying goodbye" but that would have meant talking to Ed about it and my man Stede does not talk about his feelings, wants, or needs. because emotional honesty is scary. (and when you're Stede, emotional honesty has always ended up with getting yelled at, shut down, or worse).

but it's frustrating, because people will say "oh Stede's a coward" and point to all the people saying he is one and Stede himself believing it, and ignore all the times he is shown to be very brave. or they'll say (and this one haunts me) "Stede wasn't bullied as a kid for being obviously queer, he was bullied for being a coward."

and idk dude but I think the point is that sometimes the things we believe about ourselves because we've been told them over and over are just... not true?

your childhood bully wasn't right about you, they were a fucking bully. your shit dad wasn't right about you, he was just shit. these people don't know you and they don't want to know you. their opinions are worse than useless. and Stede's season one arc is about him grappling with that and deciding he isn't a coward, he isn't inadequate, he isn't a waste of space. he is in fact worthy of love. that's the whole point!

[powderblueblood]

THE BOY IS MINE (POWDER'S VERSION)

delighted to be involved in @carolmunson's eddie challenge because when do i not want to write about the boy! looping in @vvitchwords and @howdidyouallgetinmyroom for no pressure funsies, and you if you're reading this and want to do it. tag me! cw: here you'll find eddie x fem!reader in almost an implied situationship... a little bit angsty, a little bit cosmic, a little bit meta. ambiguous ending! mentions of dick and horniness but no outright smut. wc: 2k

“Ding dong.”

Hey, it’s you! Eddie grins under the flickering porchlight, crossing his arms as he leans against the door frame, paint chips falling. 

“Howdy, little hobo.”

“Tch– what a deeply unflattering and libelous nickname. Can I come in?”

“I don't know, it’s been a while…” he says, smacking his tongue against his teeth, “How do I know you haven’t caught something?”

“Look, can we dispense with the cleverness and give me a ‘y’ or an ‘n’ here? I've had a day.” You prop up the brown grocery bag like an infant against the dip of your hip. “and I brought libations.” 

“Booze?!” Eddie's mouth bounces around the ‘b’ and he ushers you inside with a flourish. “Well, why didn’t ya say so? M’lady, right this way…”

And he’s right, by the way. It'd been a while, just the two of you. He'd been here doing god knows what with god knows who and you’d been up the walls doing a whole lot of nothing. But coming back together, it always felt like putting on an old shoe. Comfortable, reliable, broken in. Eddie watches you breathe in a lungful of the Munson trailer’s fragrant air, top notes of stale cigarette smoke and Beefaroni sparkling alongside Eddie's dark eyes as he hops up on the counter. Barefoot, beatific, lovely as all hell. 

You wag your finger in warning.

“Don’t get comfortable, chicken. I have a very romantic meal planned.”

“Oh, you do, do you?”

“Yeah!” you chirp, digging a bottle of horrible merlot out of the brown paper bag. Thunk. “I brought dessert…” followed by a tub of vanilla frosting. Thunk. “...followed by dessert.” 

Eddie, from where he perches, tries to peer further into the bag. “Where's the rest of it?”

“There’s– what? that’s it.”

“Wine and frosting?”

“I cut to the chase,” you tell him, popping open the can and stepping into the living room, “Whose favourite part of the cupcake is the cake part? Get real.”

“You’re nothin’ if not pragmatic,” Eddie sighs wistfully, slipping back off the counter and casting a glance to the pile of dirty dishes in the sink. He swallows and tacks on, “and that is why I like you so bad.”

Eddie shuffles around the kitchen, looking around for appropriate receptacles with absolutely none in sight. Shouldn’t matter, right? But even after all this time, he’s still trying to impress you. even with how… low maintenance this thing between you is. 

“I ran out of, like, nice cups. Is this okay?”

You stare at the novelty mug he’s holding out to you. Like, really stare at it. 

“I'll bring you my ten dollar-est bottle of wine and you’re gonna make me drink out of the haunted bear chalice?”

That thing is really fucking awful. It’s shaped in a convincing enough impression of a teddy bear, but pockmarked like a peanut shell and staring at you with the milky, demonic eyes of an ancient evil. Where does Wayne find this shit?

“Well, I never know when you’re gonna show up so I never know when I oughta, like, polish the crystal!”

“You’re too busy polishing something else in my absence, I'm guessing.”

Eddie's eyelids lower, his brows quirk, his lips curl over all Don Juan-like. “What happens between me and my buffering rag is none of your business.”

“How come you get the Garfield one?” you poke, gesturing to the bright orange cat shaped thing in his opposite hand. 

“Because it’s my trailer and it’s my party and I'll Garf if I want to.”

“What if I wanna Garf?”

“Tough break, sweetheart.”

“I'm the guest, I should be allowed to Garf.”

“Nope.”

“Please?”

“Nuh-uh!”

“Garf me!”

“If you don’t stop, we’re gonna have a problem,” Eddie says, all-mock glowery and stern. “Take your fugly little bear and pass the frosting.”

You brought red wine because you know how docile and touchy it makes him, and he knows that you know. Eddie relishes in it, that faint berry buzz staining his lips and the outer edges of his brain. He digs another fingerful of frosting out of the container and sucks it right down his gullet, so noisily that it makes you clear your throat. You look up from your end of the couch, from that notebook you’re always scribbling in. He wonders how you can even see, since the only real light source in the living room is from the television blaring Headbangers Ball.

“Oh shit. Am I distracting you?” he says, all mock-coquette, and sucks his finger right down to the hog’s head ring with an exaggerated slurp. “From your investigative journalism or whatever?”

You note something down, pointedly, and shove him in the thigh with your socked foot. 

“Stop trying to seduce me. It’s not gonna work.”

“I'm sorry, Mrs. Robinson.” Eddie's voice is a smooth sing-song with some grumble under the surface, his bared, smiling teeth catching the light of the TV. Jeez. 

“I'm writing the biography of some graceless idiot,” you prod a little further, scribbling on the page just to scribble.

Eddie hikes up in his seat, wine almost sloshing over Garfield's open cranium. 

“I fucking knew it!” he cackles, jabbing a triumphant finger into your calf, “I'm your muse. I'm the reason for which your artistic heart beats. I’m your bottomless well of inspiration–”

“You have frosting on your nose.”

Eddie leans toward you, hand still on your leg. His tongue pokes out and swipes nowhere near his nose. “Did I get it?”

“No.”

Another attempt. “How ‘bout now?”

“Mm-mm.”

His dark eyes round out, pout very much pouting. He's a great pouter. That could be what you miss most about him, when you’re away.

“I think I need help,” Eddie whines.

You scoff, setting down the bear mug and the notebook on the ground. 

“You’re fuckin’ relentless, you know that?”

With a couple of shuffles, you plant your thighs on either side of Eddie's lap and cup the back of his head. He's got a smug little look splashed across his face now, one that you know just how to wipe off. Your tongue licks a smidge of frosting from the tip of his characterful, unforgettable, rideable nose and Eddie's breath hitches. His hands, his fingers cuffed up in silver, dig into your thighs. Your faces, inches apart and his lashes falling as his hips ever-so-gently kick into yours.

“Shit,” he breathes, teeth pressing into his lower lip as his face tilts you-ward. “I’m at your mercy, you know that?”

You wind a couple of his curls around your fingers and Eddie presses his forehead to yours with a hum. He’s so sweet. so eager, even at the first touch. teasing his way into it but immediately losing the fight, already begging for more. 

“You’re missing your show,” you inform him uselessly as his hands move up your thighs. 

“Doesn’t matter,” Eddie tells you, with a hairline crack running through his voice, “It’s only fucking Mötley Crüe. I wanna run Vince Neil over with a ride on lawnmower. This is quelling my rage.”

You pull your head back a little and shake it. “You wait all week for The Ball, Eddie.”

“I wait—…” he nearly chases you as you move from him, neck going stiff. A grin masks the earnestness teeming out of him, but the wine has made it a little more obvious. He doesn’t want to come on too strong, but strong is all Eddie knows. “I wait all week for you.”

Your tongue clucks against your teeth and he kind of can’t stand that pitying way you’re looking at him, and it’s kind of all he ever wants to see again ever forever in his whole life ever. 

“Baby,” you mumble, like it’s stupid, and he knows it.

Eddie’s slowly losing the last fuck he has to give. He chuckles, lightly, desperately. 

“But I do!” he tells you, hands sure on your hips, “I do. I wrote you into a campaign this week, y’know—even though I knew you’d hate it.”

“Mm. Even though I told you not to.”

“Yeah, even though,” he shrugs, defiant. “She's great, though—she’s a creature of the fae that’ll bewitch you on sight. And she bends around the light, appearing and disappearing at will, but you can always kinda feel her there.”

“Like psoriasis.”

“Tchyeah. her flare ups are a bitch to handle.”

“Scabby and painful, just how you like your women.” You sit back a little. He registers.

“Aw. Don’t be like that. That’s not even—...” he runs a thumb along your cheek, more for him than for you. “She just needs some soothing and she’ll be okay.“

“Eddie,” you say, and your tone’s not dark, but it could be, “do me a favour. Don’t immortalise me.”

“Huh?” his brows knit.

“It's not good for you. It’s gonna make you think I'm something that I'm not.”

“But…” 

“But but.”

“But what if that’s the only way I can get close to you?” Again, that facetious look on his face, that sardonic smile that’s masking everything except the spellbound look in his eyes. Dark stars dancing in his irises from the twilight of the TV. “And I really wanna be close to you?”

“Making up stories about me? Living in your own head?” It’s something he’s heard his whole life, but you phrase it soft. But he knows what you mean. “And you like that?” 

“Fuck yeah,” Eddie insists. because it’s something worth protecting, actually. “Have you been outside lately? It sucks.”

You give a little. “Salient point.”

“Besides. You write about me, how is it any different?”

“Well, I write the facts. So I can remember you. You write fantasies, so you can enjoy me.”

Eddie shakes his shaggy haired head. you’re not winning this one. 

“Sorry, smartass, but there’s no way you’re writing objective facts in there. It’’s all gonna be tainted from your point of view,” his clutch on you moves to your waist and he sits up a little straighter, “which, I don’t mind. I like your point of view.” A beat. “I like that you’re seeing me at all.”

“Oh. Eddie.” It’s not as if people don’t, it’s not as if… you know, he has nobody, but the way you dig him is special. The way you dice him up.

“God,” he groans, his forehead sinking into your chest, “How can someone make me so emotional and horny. Not right. Feels like a spy tactic. You workin’ for the opposition, trying to take me down?”

“Yeah, because you’re such hot patriotic property,” your hand pets at the crown of his head, “Who died and made you America's sweetheart?”

“This boner is a betrayal of my countrymen.”

“Try a couple of bars of the national anthem and maybe you’ll calm down.”

Eddie's head pulls back so he can look at you, trying to pull focus from the way his dick is straining in his flannel pants. But, tough shit, crapshoot. He wants to press you into this sofa and rut into you slow, feel the suction of you surrounding him. 

“Why aren’t we doing this again?” he asks, bleary-kinda.

“Because you get too sad when I have to leave,” you say into his curls, “and sometimes I have to leave.”

“So why do you still come here?” and when he asks you this, he doesn’t feel sad. doesn’t feel a cold shock, an empty feeling like you’ve described before. Eddie just wants to know, now, while he’s in the warmth of you. 

“Because… well… no one else is worth writing about right now.”

That's okay. It’ll do. He'll take what he can get from you, even if it isn’t everything. Because what he can get is great. you smile at each other, wineskinned and a little lopsided, and you ease yourself off to cuddle into his side while The Ball plays on. 

“God, those pants really leave nothing to the imagination, do they?”

“What’s that?” Eddie or Vince Neil?

“I can see the full outline of your penis head.”

“And what a glorious sight, you ungrateful degenerate.”

“Never said it wasn’t. It’s a nice shape. But.”

You push a throw pillow into Eddie's lap and he hisses a little. “If you don’t stop…”

“You’re gonna hump that pillow and think of me?”

Eddie's brain staggers alongside the beat of Ride My Rocket by Pantera as it blares from the set, looking at you with a cocked open mouth. “Yes! Obviously!”

[acerathia]

Fics For Gaza

hello!! I finally got some time to participate in the initiative made by @ficsforgaza ! Down below are some WIP's which I have planned in some capacity to write during the summer/until the end of the year. I will also be accepting some requests for a limited amount of time, and for this one, please shoot me a message first beforehand.

How it works: The rate is set at 1$ per 100 words. The donation should go directly to a verified fundraiser and just send me the confirmation (personal information should be removed/censored) as proof with the link to the fundraiser and the fic sponsored as an ask. The wordcount (donated and writing status) will be updated regularly under the WIP's. As for the requests, send me an ask/dm first to discuss the content of it! For both I will try to be consistent and on time, but as there will be times where day to day life will get the best of me, but I will update accordingly also. Of course, consider looking at the list of other writers working on this initiative!!

current WIP's:

~your sweet return: gojo satoru synopsis: You love the forest, it was the place where you escape from everything haunting you. So, what could even happen if you discover a fairy circle, one oh so daunting, and you begin to hold a conversation with your invisible companion?

estimated wordcount: 8k written: 0.7k donated: 0.5k/3k progress: 0.5k/0.5k

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~eclipse: xiao synopsis: The souls filled with karma find relief under the touch of your skin. Yet, you've never tried to cleanse anyone, not since you've gained your freedom. Until the one you're indebted to asks you to help a certain Adeptus. And who are you to refuse?

estimated wordcount: 3k written: 0.5k donated: 0/1.5k progress: 0/0

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~Surviving the Tyrant: todoroki touya synopsis: Waking up in your favourite novel would be such a fantastic experience. That's what you thought until you actually woke up in one and found yourself engaged to the tyrannical prince Todoroki Touya. Your death was to be by his hands, and you are going to do anything to avoid such a fate.

estimated wordcount: 10k written: 0 donated: 0/4k progress: 0/0

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~The Lament of Erebus: Midoriya-centric synopsis: They appeared in the dead of night, ripping people out of their homes and lives, only leaving scattered clothes fluttering in the wind. There was nothing else left of the missing people. OR Midoriya Izuku is quirkless, despite his protests, despite the feeling churning in his insides. It seems like fate has a cruel way to show its affection, as this lead to a social death sentence. And he has lived like that all his life. That is until society began to shift, creatures of the night swallowing people residing in the dark. The question is, what is the connection between them and Izuku?

estimated wordcount: ? written: 6.2k donated: 0/2k progress: 0/0

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~Back against the Wall: Meta-Analysis for ORV using the reader-insert synopsis: What kind of effect might you (you and you and you) have on the way the plot unfolds? Can your voice (overlapping, echoing, not truly yours, but it is) be heard in the scheme of grander things?

estimated wordcount: ? written: 4.3k donated: 0/2k progess: 0/0

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requests:

Once again, before anything, contact me to make sure that I'm able to write the possible request. The rate is the same, and I'm going to tell you how long the request might be based on my own estimations. Please be aware that these requests are limited, both time-wise and quantity-wise, and that I might refuse any request based on my own abilities and comfort.

what fandoms: MHA, HSR, Genshin, Naruto, Touchstarved, Obscura, JJK, Love and Deepspace, ORV, AoT, and some others, feel free to ask! I am also okay with certain continuations of some of my work to be requested

[celaenaeiln]

ive been enjoying so many metas that youve written for the past few days about bruce & dick’s dynamic (thank you anons for sending them to cl and thank you for answering them cl 🙏) but i think we need yo balance the tip: lets talk about how important bruce is to dick, and how bruce is a ‘specter’ a ghost a shadow that is ever present in every other dick’s relationships (newest case in point: wftt #5 issue; went as far as dick’s shadow being drawn as batman)

Thank you and thank you anons 💞

Let's!

At first I was like, I got this! But then I was so used to Bruce showing how much he needs Dick, that I completely blanked on remembering Dick showing how much he needs Bruce!

World's Finest: Teen Titans Issue #5

Bruce quite literally haunts Dick. His presence is felt in everything Dick does and the Titans in particular get pissed off by it because they want Dick's undivided attention and loyalty to them. I love how it's Roy again in this comic that brings about Bruce because it's always Roy's biggest contention with Dick. It's like a staple in their relationship for them to fight about how much of an influence Bruce has over Dick.

One of the clearest examples and why the Titans hate Bruce so much is because Dick would do anything for Bruce.

Batman (1940) Issue #500

He says it again too

Batman and Robin (2011) Issue #34

Dick hates being Batman, but for Bruce? Anything. Anything for him.

What I value most about Dick and Bruce is their unconditional loyalty to each other. Whatever crisis Bruce is going through, Dick right there by his side with a hand on his shoulder.

Batman (2016) Issue #54

Nothing makes me cry except their love for each other.

"Bruce, man. It's cool. I know you're fine. Just know I'm here if you don't want to be fine."

Dick will get down on his hands and knees and throw everything he hates away if it makes Bruce feel happy. Between the two of them, it's a kind of religious devotion the way they feel.

The way Dick feels about Bruce carries over into all his relationships. The Titans are obvious because their dislike of Bruce and Dick's relationship is in every Titans comic, but it affects Dick's relationship with the Justice League and the batfamily too.

When the Justice League and Batman fight and they separate, the JL (John and Ollie) go to Dick to ask him to be on their side but Dick chooses neutrality. However Dick drops by the Batcave later to let Bruce know because that's how much bruce means to him.

When Bruce is deemed a killer but it turns out he's not, there's tension between the family and Bruce. Dick tells Tim that Bruce's had a stressful time to which Tim replies, "We've all been through a lot, Big Brother."

Gotham Knights Issue #33

But the conflict doesn't end there because Tim is still pissed off about Bruce lying to all of them.

Gotham Knights Issue #33

To which Bruce clarifies Tim's anger and gently reprimands him.

His relationship with Bruce is the reason why Dick is the mediator between the JL and Batman, the Titans and Batman, the Outsiders and Batman, and the Batfamily and Batman. Because what he has towards Bruce, what he feels, it isn't blind loyalty - it's unconditional loyalty.

Over and over again, Dick tells Bruce how he saved him that night his parents fell. What he sees in bruce is a pure, blinding goodness of character that he loves and Bruce in turn feels blessed and shook by Dick's utter faith in him.

Dick once told Roy that Bruce is probably the most important person in the world to him. And he means it.

[inksandpensblog]

The Box

I'm finally watching the episode! These are my stream-of-consciousness thoughts through my initial viewing. This isn't thought-out refined analysis, these are just the thoughts as I have them the moment they appear in my head.

They're getting better at the 3d running/walking animation.

Green being the one to notice details, like in The Village.

Civilization!

Green only drew one but then he just has three more? Cartoon magic or stickfigure magic? Or just saving time on a meta level.

This looks like a nice little toh that's a white-filled head, they're ALL white-filled heads (all look like freehanded circles though)

For a given value of "white," I guess, but they're all very light colors. And they all have head accessories. Interesting...

Okay it's kinda funny that nobody would talk to them and the truck is right there. Did they think the color quartet were giving handouts or something? None of them stopped to listen long enough XD

Ooh, so these are some kind of simulation chambers? Looks like they've simulated a desktop art program.

Hmm, so Orange's ability to just have whatever he wants manifest into existence with the stroke of a pencil is unique to him; these guys try the same motions and all they get are regular lines. (Also if Orange can do all that outside then why are they doing these experiments in the simulation chamber? Is it just for safety or can they not do it outside? Shady could use his toolbar outside just fine...)

Orange's drawings were alive, almost from the first line it seems. Before they even took their shape. These ones aren't.

I don't like how coldly they're treating my boy :(

you.

and then they don't even interact?? okay, so...Victim is pretty single-mindedly focused on whatever is about to happen with Chosen, and whatever it is doesn't involve Orange so Orange is irrelevant to him rn. Why bind him then? Where's he going? :(

he went in. by himself. I'm...not sure how to feel about that. surprised? it's not like the thing had a door. though looking at that control-display, it does look like there's something within the chamber itself that's also containing Chosen. Or is that just the bounding box? I think it's a bounding box actually. So this is also a simulation chamber. (this is giving me all sorts of questions about how the artboard recognizes the toolbar icons as graphics while the tools still retain their functions as tools and I'm gonna stop before I spiral)

oh, it did have a door

WAITAMINUTE why is Victim's bounding box 2d and Chosen's 3d???

...oh. so...Chosen's fire registers as a separate graphic from him, then. good to know??

wait what the- just altering the visual is enough to affect his ability in producing that power??

why did we just cut to the hunter sharpening their spear? don't like that. not while you're stealing all my boy's natural defenses.

that one lingering second after Chosen's lasers die out but before he turns around to face Victim is haunting. Bro's been trapped and depowered again.

Okay nitpick but Victim's head isn't changing shape every frame and it's driving me up the wall. Did he have some work done between the last installment and this one?

I can't tell if I'm supposed to laugh or not at Chosen just standing there and tanking all of Victim's hits, and honestly I like that I can't tell, the dissonance is fun. But putting that aside...Chosen just let the dude have at him like it was no big deal. He didn't actually fight back until he decided he'd had enough. I suppose he could've just been confused about why this guy was attacking him...but he doesn't even block or dodge. He doesn't defend himself, his hands aren't even up, he's not even really in a fighting stance, and it takes him a bit to even retaliate. Even after the first one, his body language is just "bruh why." Which. Is an interesting attitude to have when he's trapped and depowered and being punched by a stranger.

Chosen finally counters, and it cuts to the control panel outside, looks like they're about to raise some setting. I've gotta take a break for a meeting, here's my thought: Victim never left the art program, in AvA1. In a very literal sense, he spent his whole life in it. It's where he found all the things that enabled him to fight back. In a weird way, it makes sense that this is where he's powerful, that this is where he's comfortable fighting. (and I know my personal headcanons are about to get blown outta the water but I'm really glad that I was on the right track in regard to this idea. though something I hadn't ever imagined was that he'd rely on other people to supply those advantages instead of obtaining them himself)

Meeting over, back to the episode! (I wonder if the title of this episode refers to the white chamber Chosen is in or the actual bounding box. Given that the mere appearance of a bounding box in Wanted was enough for many of us to clue in to Victim's involvement, even before he appeared in-person at the end of the episode, I'm leaning that direction. Amazing that it only happened once in the series before Wanted and it was already enough of a legacy to make him recognizable. I'm now realizing that in AvA2 the first thing Chosen did even before attacking the cursor was destroy the bounding box. Also realizing that the bounding boxes in this chamber aren't visible, unlike in the test-chambers in the previous scenes.)

interesting...each of Vicitm's limbs are separate graphics with their own bounding boxes, which is how they looked in the Bloop animation course that Alan made, but it isn't how he was in AvA1. Though he was recognized as a single graphic just a few scenes ago, so that might not mean anything.

why, stop, dude we get it you're strong now you've proved your point stop beating him up-

oh good Chosen's still got his own strength, he's fighting ba- what- okay what, can't take what you dish out??

Ooh, I don't think we've seen Chosen actually throw fire like that (instead of just blasting and halting blasts) since the early episodes.

okay, nice to know that Victim actually can dodge on his own

...don't like how little time it took Chosen to start feeling exhaustion...

...don't like how much trepidation the lasso is giving me. that feels like one of the crueler things to use against Chosen; not because we've seen it used against him before (only Victim and Orange have used it themselves, and only Victim has had it used against him, and good grief Orange and Chosen still don't know how Victim is connected to Alan-) but just because...I really don't want him bound and leashed again, he's been through enough of that. still, I had predicted that we'd see him using the lasso at some point in AvA6. I'm not happy I was right. (man, back before we knew Victim would make a proper return to the series I used to love the idea of him using it again. it's like the clearest example of him outwitting the animator and taking his tools for his own use.)

NOT THE NECK- they've never gone there, I don't like this-

oh what they actually- I was not expecting that. whips haven't appeared in the series before. oh I really don't like this.

God he's crawling back- why-

I had to pause. either the group outside just did something with the controls that Victim wasn't anticipating, or...Chosen felt threatened enough to turn his powers on himself and encase himself in ice as a defense. fuck. someone get him out of there. no flight, can't fight, man was pushed far enough he literally resorted to freeze. The Chosen One. I don't think that's ever happened before.

Fuck, that's just too much, I can't even bring myself to feel excited about seeing the duplicates again. though it is good to know that my headcanon about him needing to be in an art program in order to duplicate himself ended up being accurate. we'll see if my headcanon about it being one Victim with five bodies (as opposed to being five Victims) holds up. if they even have a way to show any difference.

[sighs, pulls AvA1 up in another tab] yep, they're all there. lasso, hammer, extended thumbtack (though it doesn't look like a thumbtack here, which is interesting), whatever that chain-accordion thing is, and the ninja star. why are you doing this? man literally froze himself immobile to get you to stop torturing him, just leave him be.

...haHAHAHA! Oh that felt good, that made me smile. Hopefully this means Chosen has recuperated a bit.

the animation of Victim on fire was so nice I completely missed Chosen breaking the ice XD going back to catch that made me realize that the other Victim duplicates literally just...stood and watched the one burning...

don't let yourself get backed into a corner-

OH he escaped the hold, nice-

I didn't realize until the lasso came back that he'd gotten rid of it when he broke the ice :( but before that he actually uses his fire-breath again, which is always nice to see. interesting to see it concentrated in a thin stream instead of just roaring out like usual.

oh yikes why- him on fire-

...don't do it, man...

OH HE OWNED THAT, LET'S GO!!! Great thinking, Chosen! (heh, nothing about this situation remotely resembles that time Chosen grabbed the cursor and forced it to click him free, but I was reminded of it nonetheless. something about the tool being turned against the user, but in such a different way than Victim does it.)

OH HE- ...oh...I was gonna say oh he learned, he adapted enough that he predicted them flipping his fire and he used that- but then they just nullified it immediately...

Victim don't snap the rope like that, we don't need any more implications we already know you're planning to put him in a world of hurt, why can't you just leave him alone now, what are you trying to prove

hh, back to Orange I guess...

MATH SPOTTED, MATH SPOTTED-

oh! they're bringing him to the- okay that makes sense, if it only works when he does it then obviously the next step to figuring it out is gonna involve him.

wait was he- could he not move when the bounding box was picked up?? (also neat that he immediately got worried once he realized he's in a bounding box, dunno if that's because of what happened in the last episode or if it's just because...he spends a lot of time in an art program so he'd naturally be familiar with what they can do and what it means to be inside one)

...well, nice that they at least get his attention before picking him up

oh now you're being friendly, sure. yeah Orange ain't having it.

okay, [picks up pencil] [instant notetaking] was funny XD

aaw, it's swimming around him

oh it knows what the eraser means

...wait it wasn't an electric eel in the last episode-

hexagons- and the power flickered

okay Orange stumbling around trying to stay out of its way makes it clear that he isn't controlling this thing once he's finished drawing it, it's acting on its own. it...it really feels distressed.

hah, they're all cowering. losers.

oh, back to this.

...did you have to make it so personal, Victim?

a chair

...okay not sure why that happened, could Chosen not just...lean forward? I rewound to watch it again and realized he's exhausted again after the slow-mo ends (is that from the slow-mo itself or just his exertion from the fight before the slow-mo?) and he...doesn't even struggle when Victim lifts him by hand with a lasso to the neck. is...is he just ragdolling now? is he at the point where that's his best option for minimizing conflict?

...he is. he's ragdolling. fuck. (damn you cc!Alan for introducing ragdolling in a comedic short-)

...no? no what?? no, he doesn't know anything about the animator? (which we know isn't true, but why would he deny that?) or no, he isn't going to answer?

don't tie him up, please...

oh now he starts struggling?

...back to ragdolling. good grief, the way they animate his legs just swinging even though they can still touch the floor...

...heh, I appreciate his spirit, especially at this point, but...Chosen you kinda just put yourself in a worse position.

...oh, what is that? I don't think we've seen anything like that before. It's got the floppy disk that's used as the "save" icon in many applications, but it looks kinda like a headset.

...a VR headset specifically, I guess.

OH WHAT- okay rad animation, but WHAT

...oh fuck, I've always wondered if there was a way to see the data that would be a stick's memory. FUCK what are they gonna use this for

wait they're bring Orange here?! Or are they just passing on their way back to the cell? but why are they going back to the cell, was the eel too much for them??

...wait, what? signal lost, I assume because Chosen dislodged it enough to disconnect, and then...instead of picking up where it left off it jumps all the way back to Showdown?? was...was Showdown just on Chosen's mind? or is this the memory of him recalling it right before flying to alanspc to entreat Orange's aid? ...or...are memories from beyond the sky-barrier not compatible? that doesn't make sense...

what's with everyone's reactions to Second's powers?

...I forgot Orange's cell is in here. whoops.

oh this is how he finds out??

hands first ("I did that??") and then his eyes ("Chosen was right??")

...and of course. I expected they'd lock him down with extra security as soon as they realized, but. poor guy.

(dammit I purposefully refrained from making a "dark mode" joke, you didn't have to go and put it on the damn control screen)

...and even after that (which, judging by Victim's reaction, even he hadn't known about Second's powers), the animator is still Victim's priority.

oh, this isn't just any clip of the cursor's involvement in Showdown, this is specifically while Yellow was rendering the cursor in.

and then they immediately pan to Yellow which means that observation is actually gonna be relevant, FUCK-

OH FUCK THE WANTED POSTERS

("earnings growth," so they actually do have a business element to them)

aaand the security cameras caught them peeking out of the truck, they literally just started printing the posters and they've already located Yellow-

that fight is mesmerizing. we haven't seen one like this before, as far as direction and setting. plus it's really interesting to see how the four respond. I might look deeper into that later. also that was a cool transition.

and Yellow is dragged off. The story has never had one of the quartet singled out in-universe by the plot like this before. they aren't even apprehending the others.

...of all the sticks to have a lighter, I never thought it would be Victim.

to be continued. good grief.

I have to eat before work so I'll think on all this and say more later.

[starseneyes]

Spock / Nurse Christine Chapel - Star Trek: Strange New Worlds S2 Eps 8 & 9

So, I was gonna wait until the Finale to do another Meta, but then I saw all the Chapel hate coming out after 9, and I felt the need to insert my (uneducated) opinion.

SPOILER ALERT: Spoilers are like garlic for me. If the recipe calls for a clove, I'm adding a head. So, if you dare eat this Spanish/Ukrainian princesa's babaganoush, then this spoiler-filled Meta is for you!

Everyone clear on how this thing works? Brilliant. Let's dive in with kleenex in hand.

"Under the Cloak of War" AKA "You Had To Be There"

"The ally ambassador must have many interesting insights on delicate matters of diplomacy." ... "Christine." "What? Oh, you're doing the word game. Um, I'm sorry. I don't really have one right now."

The staging of this is so haunting and beautiful. Spock has his back to the situation, because he was never really apart of it. Spock didn't see the ravages of the Klingon War up close.

Christine faces it head-on, refusing to look away when it might be healthier for her. She shouldn't even be here. But the Veterans are forcing themselves to put on a good face for the sake of Starfleet.

And, ugh, that kills me inside. M'Benga writes it off, saying he's survived worse than polite conversation. True. But that doesn't make any of this right.

Spock is worried about his not-girlfriend, but he has no idea how to help her. He can't understand what she's been through, but she won't/can't help him understand.

And, please don't misread this as a criticism of Christine. She is under no obligation to help Spock understand. But he cannot understand it, and from his perspective, he's trying to. He never will.

"You are under duress."

Spock shifts from standing in front of her to standing alongside her. I love that choice. I don't know if it was writing, acting, directing, or something else. But it shows the shift in him turning that blind eye (intentionally or not) to standing with her.

Also, gosh, he knows her. He's observant of her. He's paying attention.

He wordlessly looks down to the glass in her hand.

"Quite understandable. I do not know much about your service in the war, but... I am available if you ever feel the need to share." "Yeah, I don't, so let's just change the subject, yeah?"

Her duress increased. The exact opposite of what Spock hoped to achieve in telling her that he was there for her.

"I just wish he would shut up for one second about all this amazing peace he's achieved." "I can help with that."

There's vulnerability in her eyes as she looks over to him, because she really doesn't want to close herself off to him.

She doesn't want to deal with all that she lost during the War. And, in a small part, what she's going to lose shortly based on Boimler's words.

Spock strides over to the Ambassador, inspired by Christine's previous words, "let's just change the subject" and he puts it into practice. As conversation shifts, he looks to her.

"Did I do right?" his eyes ask. Because all he wants is to help her. She offers him a small nod and smile in return. Yes, in a small way, this is actually helping.

"Okay, I'm gonna go see if she needs anything."

It sucks that their first time sitting alongside one another at a dinner now that they're dating is one... like this.

There's nothing to report here on them besides the fact that Christine takes the out to leave and check on Erica while Spock sits in his chair stewing over what he could have done differently to help.

Spock earnestly wants to help. He doesn't know how. And Christine doesn't know how to tell him what will help because nothing will help.

"I want to apologize for my part in last night's dinner." "You don't need to apologize. None of this is about you. You just see me going through something and our closeness makes you feel responsible."

Spock is still looking for some way to help her. But Christine is still living in moments long since passed. And he can't get there because he's never been there.

But, she's right. Their "closeness" factors into him wanting to help. We know from the future that Spock cares deeply about the people he holds closest and would do anything for them.

"You're not." "I understand." *Spock looks around to see no one there* "That is not true."

Spock steps into the corner and Christine leans against the wall. They both relax into their positions almost effortlessly, but they aren't alongside one another anymore. They aren't facing anymore. They're separated with feet planted almost perpendicular.

This is where their paths diverge. No longer towards one another. No longer alongside. This subtle blocking choice shows us we're at the beginning of the end.

"I am having difficulty watching you experience such obvious distress. I want to help."

I love the clear communication on his end. Truly! Spock is laying it all out for Christine.

"But it would appear all that I am doing is making it worse." "War, it doesn't leave you. It can, it can bury itself, but it's-it's always there."

And she's trying to give him insight. But how can she truly explain? She can't.

"I researched J'Gal. It was a forward operating base. The data suggests the loss of life was disproportionate-" "J'Gal is not a statistic, Spock. J'Gal is what it is. War, it makes sense if you've been there, but it will never make sense."

That last line. Wow. I have nothing to add.

"Like I've been trying to tell you, I just need some personal time."

Like you've been trying to... huh? She's not even looking him in the eye while she says this. Because she's taking this opportunity to take that "closeness" that makes him feel responsible for her and push it away.

Maybe she's been trying to say this, but not saying this. We know Christine's not the best at communicating what she wants in a relationship.

And we know that right now he is making it tougher on her. Even he realizes it. But what he doesn't know is that in giving her this space, now, he'll never regain back what he thought they had.

"I understand. You require personal time away from me."

And he'll give it to her. He'd do anything for her. For goodness sake, he almost started a war for her when he was still in a fully-committed engagement. Of course he'll give her space if that's what she needs.

He only hopes she'll close the gap when she's ready. But poor, sweet, Vulcan/Human boy... you aren't ready.

"Subspace Rhapsody" AKA "Don't Go Breakin' My Heart"

"Oh, I have to talk to Spock."

But. She. Doesn't. Christine doesn't like truth-filled conversations with the people she's dating. We know that this is a core flaw in her attempts at relationship—she has no idea how to effectively communicate with a romantic partner.

She's not going to talk to him... and instead he's going to stew (and eventually make his own stupid decision) because they're not communicating at all.

I feel like Christine was one of the best at communicating with Spock pre-romance. They built this really beautiful friendship. And even as they were in the early stages of their dating relationship, that connection still seemed strong.

But J'Gal tested them in a way neither predicted. And that would have happened whether or not Boimler dropped the future truth bomb.

Christine has a lot of PTSD that is unprocessed. And Spock lacks that understanding because he has never shared those experiences. I've seen relationships implode more than once when one partner had PTSD. It's brutal.

And enter this huge opportunity for Christine. She once told Spock that relationships are about mutual sacrifice, that one puts the relationship above work. But that's not how either Christine or Spock operate.

In a parallel universe, they could discuss this openly and honestly with one another. But this Spock and Christine have communication issues that they'll sadly never resolve (at least so far as we know canon).

"Unfortunately, we have had another communication failure."

Dana Horgan & Bill Wolkoff (the screenwriters of this episode), I love you. To have that line as the verbal cue to switch scenes was so bloody perfect, especially considering the state of the Spapel relationship. These two are definitely experiencing a communication failure.

"Is that transmission regarding Nurse Chapel's recent fellowship application? Was the news... favorable?"

Oh, dear, how long has he been giving her "personal time" that he's asking Uhura for updates?

"I don't look at personal correspondence." "Of course, that would be unethical."

And, look, he's not trying to spy. But he does want to know. And he wishes Christine would be the one to tell him. Our poor boy has been doing everything he can to help her—including giving her space.

But while he's been wishing to be close to her, again, she's been widening the gap.

"You and Nurse Chapel have become close, haven't you?"

Okay, so the whole crew isn't aware that these two are shacking up. But, we've seen Uhura be hyper-vigilante about the connection between Spock and Christine since Season 1. She was the first person to call it out.

And Spock really isn't sure what to say. In his mind, they are still an item, even if they aren't a "couple", right?

"I suppose it would be accurate to say that we are more than colleagues." "There's that classic Vulcan romance I've heard about."

She means it in a ribbing way, but it hurts. Uhura notices, and makes the adjustment, like any good communications officer would.

"Why don't you ask her about it?" "Of late, our communication has faced challenges."

Gosh, he needs this. In the absence of Christine, he needs someone he can talk to. Someone who can see the whole of him and truly listen. To make Uhura that foil considering the TOS-era friendship they seem to have makes total sense.

Spock Presses the Issue

It feels like Uhura and Spock both thought he'd be the one to sing when this was pressed. Was it a stupid move? Gosh, yes. But if characters didn't make mistakes, we'd scream and wail about their plasticity and lack of organic truth. They have to be flawed to be well-rounded.

But, Spock's mistake leads to one of the most energetic songs of the episode, and a lot of unspoken truths.

"Christine. Logic would dictate you are toasting good news regarding your fellowship. So, allow me to offer congratulations." "Thank you, Spock." "I am curious why you chose not to inform me. Was it an oversight? Or was it intentional?" "Can we, um, can we talk about this later?" "I am just curious."

Again, Spock pressing this in front of everyone was asinine. I'm not glossing over that. But her hiding it from him was stupid, too. They are both in the wrong in how they handled this situation.

But I truly believe Uhura though Spock would be the one to sing. They were trying to incite a song, and she could already tell he was o the verge of emotional when it came to Christine and this fellowship.

But, Christine busts out with absolute glee. And she deserves to be gleeful. A partner should never be her whole life.

And I truly believe she never would have told Spock in front of the entire bar under any other circumstances. We already set it up with La'an warning Pike and then Pike and Batel exposing themselves in front of everyone.

To borrow the phrase from Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist, these are "heart songs". These are things that dwell in the deepest part of selves that would never come out under normal circumstances.

Pike would still be lying to Batel. La'an wouldn't have run off to hide in her quarters because she was belting truths. And Christine would have dealt with Spock in her own time... even if that was still a bad choice.

The song forced Christine to share this truth.

And, gosh, there are so many lyrics in here that show Christine's state of mind. The validation. The freedom. The future that she already knows she doesn't share with Spock.

Christine has applied to something that only a handful of people get into every year, and this isn't a 2-month trip that she'd return from. This could be the start of an entirely new path for her. She may never come back to Enterprise.

And, from his perspective, I see how cold-hearted it seemed. But I do not begrudge her going after her dreams. I simply abhor that she cut Spock out entirely prior to this big musical number.

But... our characters have to make mistakes. Otherwise, we'd be watching "the perfect people" do nothing every week.

"If I need to leave you, I won't fight it. I'm ready."

She speaks the line the last time... "I'm ready." It's spoken outside of the song. She means it. And it crushes him.

He turns over that left shoulder... but away from her, this time. He's spent the entire song standing still while the world around him moved, while she moved the world with her words. And now he feels out of place in a realm where she thrives.

Her spark is ignited, while his flame painfully claws at the last threads of wick before dying.

Uhura and Chapel are the only ones who watch Spock go—who understand what really happened there. We don't see Christine's reaction, but we see Erica smiling up at her.

Christine meant it. She's ready to move on. But it does kill me that she doesn't try to go after him, to seek him out, to make sure he's okay.

Again, our characters have to make mistakes. They have to screw it up. And in how she handles breakups, Christine consistently screws up. It would be out-of-character for her to handle this one well.

Again, I don't blame her for breaking up with him via song. He pushed her to sing by pushing the issue. But her actions before and after are entirely her own just as much as his to push was his. They're both idiots.

"I didn't expect Christine to be so definitive about ending our arrangement."

He doesn't even refer to it as a relationship. But, since he's opened up to Uhura at the start of the episode about them being "more than colleagues", he feels freer to speak.

He also feels exposed.

"Relationships can be difficult, Spock, and you're Vulcan" "But I am also human."

Oh, my sweet boy. You finally got there. You finally learned to embrace both sides of yourself only to experience your first true heartbreak.

And now you'll endeavor to do what so many other humans have done before you—shut out the pain.

"I feel things differently. Bigger. I see her logic and, yet, I am hurt."

Gosh, the pain. Listen to his emphasis on "hurt". This is where Ethan Peck's vocal inflection and range really sing (pardon the pun).

Uhura has never seen this level of emotion from Spock. But they are becoming friends, which is welcome and needed for both their stories. And he's opening up in a way he won't, again, for a very long time, I suspect.

"I am left behind."

I hate to say it, but I imagine this is how T'Pring felt when he took off on their engagement night. There was always something Spock seemed to be choosing over her.

The difference is that Spock thought he and T'Pring's relationship could weather all his other duties. With Christine, that isn't even a possibility she's willing to entertain.

She's done. It's over. And he's hurt.

The Music Swells

Spock and Uhura lock eyes. They both know a song is coming on, but I love how he doesn't run away, and she stays there with him.

If anyone knows what it is to be alone, it's Uhura. She's the one who pressed him to press Christine, so she's not leaving his side, now.

And it's Christine's Song. It's their song. Oh, gosh, this hurts. I didn't call it right on them sharing a song in terms of a duet, but in this melody, they share the two sides of the same song—one elated, one defeated.

Though, Spock's in the minor key where Christine was in the major. So, even though the melody and rhythm are matching, the songs aren't quite the same, even in construction. Damn, this is masterful.

My husband, who started playing piano at age 5 and studied for 21 years, said they gave Spock and Chapel the "Les Mis" treatment, and I about died laughing. He's not wrong.

"This news really changes everything-"

Starting the same way, too, whew. This is already super painful. Christine's version was a boisterous, celebratory tune with raucous dancing, cheerful backup vocals, and lots of pageantry.

Spock is in the echo chamber of Engineering. Without Uhura, he would be utterly alone. But there's no one to sing with him. His voice rings out alone.

"I can't believe how wrong I've been. Convinced myself we shared the same feelings. I won't make that mistake, again."

And Uhura can't interject to tell him about interdimentional space and everything that Christine said there. It's not her place. But, damnit, communication would have changed this whole story.

"For her I set aside my need to analyze. Now I'm wrecked and searching for Why. I'm the Ex."

Beautiful play on words. Though, I'll admit a small part of me was mentally breaking into the Calculus song from 2gether (yes, I'm that old).

While the other song was more hilarious, this one's eloquently and agonizingly crafted. It makes so much sense that our favorite Science officer is merging math and music, as only the best STEAM students can.

"I've got no one but myself to blame. I betrayed my core philosophy. Unending reason must be my true north, lest I drown in this sea of pain."

Imagine you've grown up in a constricted world and when you finally decide to break out of that and test the waters, your boat is capsized by the person you trusted to help you steer.

Spock took a great risk with this relationship, and he knew it. But he never predicted it would end like this. Yes, Christine was upfront with not wanting to label it and not wanting to tell Starfleet. She didn't pretend in any way.

But Spock still hoped. And now that hope's been dashed.

I think a lot of us have been there—having our hearts broken by someone we really trusted. Gosh, I remember my first boyfriend.

He broke up with me over the phone on my birthday, which happened to be the week of Prom. Oh, and he was cheating on me because two months in on my first relationship I wouldn't sleep with him. We still went to Prom together because I thought I could win him back.

Seventeen-year-old Rachel wasn't that bright. But she was hurt. And she had hope that she was wrong to be guarded, that it was okay to let those walls down a bit and let someone in.

"I'm so dysfunctional, weak and emotional, feelings I just can't contain. Escaping this misery, you're breaking free, not a possibility.

Uhura's brow furrows as she listens to him talking about himself so harshly.

"Weak and emotional" is a gut-punch to me considering how a season ago in episode 9 Spock was lamenting his weakness while Christine cupped his face and told him it was his emotions... and that they didn't make him weak... they made him human.

"I solved for Y in my computation but missed vital information, the variable so devastating... I'm the X."

Watch how he looks to Uhura mid-phrase. He nearly forgot she was there listening to him bare his soul. But he can't stop it as it's flowing out. He has to finish the song, no matter how painful.

"I'm the ex."

He speaks the line the same way Christine spoke her last line. Because, it's real. It's true. And it hurts like hell.

"I am sorry."

He's near tears, again, and it's all wrong. So far this season Christine, M'Benga, the transporter chief, and now Uhura have seen the Vulcan near-tears or crying. He can't have that, now. Before, he allowed himself the vulnerability. He tested the bounds of his humanity.

Never again. He refuses to let himself be hurt like that, again.

"So far, we've only witnessed people being torn apart by this event." *pointed camera on Spock*

Look, we all knew this was coming, right? This story is set in canon, and canon dictates and Spock and Christine are not together in TOS-era.

And Spock has already started to bottle up those emotions that plague him. We saw that he can pull it together quickly enough, as demonstrated in the season opener.

Yes, this will take work, but he's willing to do whatever it takes to never feel this pain, again.

The Missed Moment

At the end of the big musical number, everyone's feeling connected and elated. There's hugging and congratulations. But when Christine turns to Spock, there's a wall there.

She didn't expect that. You can tell she didn't expect him to wall her off so swiftly, though it's not entirely unexpected. And she's not going to chase after him.

But it still hurts. I mean, we all saw how broken-hearted she was at Boimler's news that she wasn't even a footnote in Spock's written story.

And I posit that's part of why this isn't harder for her—she's been letting go for weeks. Pulling away. Making space. But Spock's had mere moments to wrestle with the consequences of giving into weakness.

A few weeks ago, he would have been laughing and hugging with all of them. He was reveling in testing the waters of his humanity while basking in the love of this beautiful, human woman. So much changes in the course of a few weeks.

Look, I'm thrilled for Christine. I am definitely not a woman who thinks any woman should change her plans for a man. But celebrating with her friends over champagne before telling Spock was tacky.

And I'm not excusing him pressing her in front of their friends for an answer. While he did it under the guise of duty (and we all know how married Spock is to duty), it was a bad call.

But they're both in the wrong. Spock was right at the beginning of the episode—their communication is a problem.

And, now, their paths are potentially, permanently diverged. I say potentially because there are dozens of possibilities.

Maybe they try, again, but something external pulls them apart. Maybe they get together in another timeline. Maybe years after TOS they reunite. We can dream, right?

In the season finale, there'll be awkwardness between them, I'm sure. This looks like the Gorn issue is coming to a head, and we know from early promos that there's footage of the pair of them together in space suits.

Will it be a final coda on their relationship? I suppose we'll find out together.

There were so many little things that made me squee during this episode. Paul Wesley's voice reminding me so very much of 1960's-era Disney princes, the Gilbert & Sullivan reference, the Buffy-coded Bunny reference, Uhura's amazing earrings that were giving me major Nichelle Nichols vibes, the raucous joy of Chapel's number, the crispness and clearness of Chistina Chong's vocals, M'Benga's surprising range, the varying styles and eras... so much. I could go on and on and on.

And, I'd be so remiss if I didn't call out two things in this episode that took my breath away beyond the obvious Spapel:

"You see the connections between us when all we see are the empty spaces."

This line skewered me so beautifully. I'm a communications person. I have two degrees in it. I held together a group of friends who met at college orientation through our four years of school, and we've been together over 20 years, now.

This line is so beautiful and so meaningful. I will think of it often. Because we need people like that in the world. They're the connective tissue.

And this line captures why so beautifully with so few words. That's masterful. In a season that's all about connectivity and communication, this line stands out.

Celia Rose Gooding

No quotes needed. She's simply sensational. I like to think Nichelle Nichols is looking down on her with a proud smile on her face. Her entire solo I had chills.

Yes, there was another episode this season that focused on Uhura, but I really feel like this was her show.

We saw how she flawlessly handled all of the communications issues early, how she worked beautifully with Spock, how she cut loose with her friends with a musical number while working, and how she ultimately saved the day.

She is a marvel to watch, and I'm so grateful she had an opportunity to shine as she did in this episode. I've loved her performance up until now, but this episode is the one where I was completely wowed. What talent!

Truly, everyone was amazing this week. Yes, she was a stand-out, but everyone poured their hearts and souls and songs into this. It shows. And it's magical as a result.

My predictions for this episode weren't quite right, but the spirit sadly was. Now we get awkwardness next week in space suits. We all know how that ended for B'Elanna Torress and Tom Paris, but I doubt Christine and Spock will have such a positive experience.

Maybe some sort of resolution, but Spock's declared he won't make the same mistake, again. He's walled off that part of himself already. Christine won't be able to access it, again.

Unless, of course, I'm completely wrong and Season 3 opens with them in a parallel universe where these crazy kids get it right. But, what fun would that be?

Look, we all make mistakes. Characters make mistakes. They can't magically be completely different versions of themselves because it suits a happy ending. We all knew this wasn't a happily ever after story.

We knew it'd be messy and painful. We knew it'd end in tears. But, the writers, directors, and performers (not to mention the rest of the incredible crew) have given us something really beautiful, here. It's achingly beautiful. What a privilege to witness it.

Thanks for reading, my friends. Be kind to one another. Build one another up. And never forget that you have intrinsic value and worth that nobody can take away.

Look for the connections in the empty spaces. They're there. We're here. And you are not alone.

[xoxoemynn]

hey marianne tell us about the wip you're most excited about in as much detail as you want

HOO BOY WOULD I LOVE TO. And I have yet to consolidate this into an elevator pitch so it'll definitely be long. It started off as an Old Hollywood/Broadway AU and now has spiraled into what I'd say most simply is a dimension travel AU that's also a bit of a meta commentary on OFMD's cancellation.

I'll put it under a cut because this DID actually get annoyingly long.

OKAY SO. We have 1990s Ed. He's a legendary Broadway performer known mostly as a dancer but he's been getting a bit sick of it, but also doesn't know what he'd want to do next since he's still relatively young. He keeps putting it off until he injures his knee in a show and can no longer dance, and now he's forced to actually figure out what he's going to do next.

While he's depressed and recovering, he passes the time watching old black and white musicals. He discovers the dance team of Stede Bonnet and Mary Allamby (loosely inspired by Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers, who were baby's first hyperfixation as a pre-teen, making this a VERY exciting project for me personally) and is immediately in awe of Stede, although surprised he's never heard of him before.

Through some hand-waving, Ed eventually realizes he's able to talk to Stede through the TV, and then later that he's actually able to enter the TV itself and exist in Stede's world. Except it's not just the 1930s. Stede's literally been living in a kind of grayscale purgatory that looks like his film sets. He has no concept of the passage of time, or even exactly what happened that caused him to be stuck there, and he's the only real person existing there, until Ed shows up.

Naturally they quickly fall in love, but they have a bit of a star-crossed lovers thing going on because they can't FULLY be together, and they also have different wants in life. For Ed, he LOVES being in this black and white world. He's in love with Stede, his knee doesn't bother him there, he gets to explore these really cool art deco film sets, he doesn't have to think about what he's going to do with his life. He gets to just be happy. For him, being in a black and white world cut off from everyone else but Stede is a small and worthy sacrifice for all that.

But Stede's been trapped there for 60 years with no sign of escape, and he misses being in the real world. He loves having Ed there and loves Ed, but he also wonders what else is out there. He misses being out in the real world and seeing everything in color and experiencing life off a Hollywood film set that was specifically designed to be entirely escapist for filmgoers looking to get away from their problems during the Great Depression.

So the bulk of the story is about Ed and Stede navigating their relationship and how they can really be together, as well as uncovering what happened to Stede in the first place that caused him to be trapped. It's got big themes of authenticity, acceptance, the temptation of avoidance, and being comfortable in the unknown. Influences that have wormed their way in include The Giver, Pleasantville, The Red Shoes, Barbie (lol), The Haunting of Hill House, Zaslav being a fuckhead, and an experimental art film called The Afterlight. It's taken me a LONG time to plan it because the world-building was really complex and there were a ton of little nuances to sort out, but I'm finally in a good place to really start writing it. I'm very excited because there are at least two REALLY sad scenes in it that I am 😈 about. But DEFINITELY a happy ending with a huge thread of hope running throughout, and is ultimately about creating a life for yourself where you can be your most authentic self, as terrifying as that may be.

THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME AN EXCUSE TO RAMBLE I LOVE YOU. 💕

[veliseraptor]

November Reading Recap

Banewreaker and Godslayer by Jacqueline Carey. Absolutely fascinating series, I want to dig into it with a shovel. Can't recommend it.

For one thing it contains one of the possibly most differently, weirdly racist depictions of brown people that I've read in a fantasy book recently (somewhat reminiscent of Aboriginal Australian stereotypes who exist because their ancestors were "burnt" that color as collateral damage in a battle of gods); it's decent in terms of writing quality but nothing terribly exceptional, and it's riffing as nakedly on Lord of the Rings and The Silmarillion as Escape From the Bloodkeep was. Which is what makes it so fascinating to me - the way that it's looking at the same story (more or less) from the perspective of the god designated evil and his minions, and what it's doing with that - but again, while I want to excavate it and pick it apart, I wouldn't tell anybody to read it unless they were morbidly curious about it.

Silver Nitrate by Silvia Moreno-Garcia. I saw a lot of raving about this book and was really excited about it, but ended up feeling kind of...not let down, it was a solid three star book, but I didn't like it as much as I hoped. Part of that is probably because I was in it for horror and it ended up feeling pretty light on the horror - heavier on the film history, which is fine, but Siren Queen did that part better. It was fine, I wouldn't not recommend it to someone who expressed interest in it, but I wouldn't particularly include it in my stand outs of the year either.

Remnants of Filth vol. 2 by Rou Bao Bu Chi Rou. Meatbun knows how to do (a) suffering and (b) fucked up relationships, and while this book's relationship isn't fucked up in quite the same "tailored perfectly to my interests" ways that 2ha was, it's pretty damn good. Very excited to see where this one goes.

Evidence of Things Seen: True Crime in an Era of Reckoning edited by Sarah Weinman. I was hoping for a little more from this than I got. It's pretty much just a collection of essays previously published online that come at true crime sometimes from a little more cautious/critical lens, but not in the way that I was hoping they would. I guess I was hoping for something that would be a more meta-examination of the genre and the issues it has, a little more introspective, but ultimately most of the essays were relatively straightforward true crime essays, just a little more thoughtful and with an eye toward a broader spectrum of stories than the "traditional" true crime stories. Not a bad collection, just not what I was hoping for/looking to read.

Was extremely funny to run into a surprise Michael Hobbes article that was very familiar from an episode of You're Wrong About, though.

The Haunting of Ashburn House by Darcy Coates. I enjoyed this one a bit less than the other Darcy Coates books I've read, but that's less its fault as a whole as it is "made use of loaded psychiatric language that I've grown increasingly uncomfortable with in reference to its villain" and I was just not totally on board with that. So I think as far as Darcy Coates books go it's probably my third favorite of three, but I still wouldn't not recommend it as a whole. It was certainly scary, and kept me reading the way that all her books have so far because I needed to know what was going to happen.

Our Share of Night by Mariana Enriquez. Sometimes I read a book and I'm like "I'm not sure I can say 'I liked this' but it sure did something to my brain and I think the something was positive, I want someone else to read this so I can talk to them about it" and that's why I'm giving this book to one of my sisters, because hopefully she will read it and then we can talk about it.

It was definitely a good book! It was a very good book. But saying "I liked it" feels sort of anodyne and quaint as a way of describing how I feel about it. It sort of reminds me of House of Leaves that way, which I guess is a recommendation in and of itself.

If anybody else reads this book please tell me what you think, I would like to discuss it with someone.

---

I'm currently reading Children of Memory by Adrian Tchaikovsky (so far a winner, as everything of his I've read has been), but I'm looking forward to trying to dip my toes back into some nonfiction with The Underworld by Susan Casey and Robert E. Lee and Me: A Southerner's Reckoning with the Myth of the Lost Cause. Also need to read He, She, and It by Marge Piercy for my sci-fi book club. Other than that, I have a pretty open mind for what December's going to look like; since I'm going to my parents' house at the end of it I'll probably pick up something long-gone-unread from my old shelves there, which is always fun.

But I'm also considering making this the month I do my The Last Unicorn reread. We'll see how things play out.

[chainofclovers]

I think it's interesting that a lot of the critiques about Ted Lasso s3 are very repetitive (so very repetitive) statements about the show being overstuffed with "unrelated" narratives. I agree that it's an absolutely stuffed season, but I'm cool with it because all the arcs feel deeply related to me and I'm honestly having so much fun with it.

S1 was basically perfect. (I mean, nothing is perfect, but s1 gets close.) Each episode was a tightly-edited morsel that felt like something new and wondrous. It had to be an amazing first impression, otherwise it wouldn't have gone anywhere. Then s2 was about isolation and bad choices and the hauntings of past pain rising up, crossing the distance of an ocean or the distance of thirty years to hurt you again, and it was good but deeply imperfect. At times, some of the pain even felt rushed, while some of the episodes dragged, and I say that as a person who enjoyed s2 more than many!

S3 feels like my senior year of college (which, holy fuck, was 15 years ago).

My senior year was very fun and very sad. I ate so much pizza! I went to so many dance parties! I sometimes drank too much and I sometimes thought about adulthood and health and who I wanted to be in the world and stayed sober(er) to care for people having a harder time than I was. I took too many classes and worked really hard. I started a relationship that would overstay its welcome in my life because I didn't know how to be true to myself yet. In other ways, I was true to myself. I wrote the story of what was happening over and over and over.

TL s3 has this meta-awareness of coming to an end, of questioning WHERE Ted should be at the end of the story, and not only Ted, but everyone. All those people who got stranded in their own stories in s2 are finding their way again, and maybe it is messy and self-indulgent and taking a little too long, but tbh if I got the opportunity to tell a story this way I'm pretty sure I'd end up doing the same thing. There's a reason the exact halfway point of the season saw the majority of the cast reconnecting on a bus after spending wildly variant nights.

S1 was perfection and s2 was often great and often YIKES and s3 is like a long, magical night in which you're aware (self-indulgently aware, yes, but there are worse things to be) of the journey ahead but perfectly suspended in the moment.

Ted Lasso, U R 2 Good 2 B 4Gotten!

[benoitblanc]

hey arwen, long time no see!! hope you're doing well! 💜

i know nothing about txf besides what i've gleaned from this hellsite which is a) mulder is a lovable idiot, b) scully both loves him (almost against her will??), and c) they literally invented shipping BUT tell me about your top 5 txf episodes!!!

hi mitali i have been EXTREMELY patchy on here lately haven't i lol. local woman appears on tumblr to write ten meta posts about the x files and then disappears again! i'm doing okay; my real life has been kind of chaotic (had to last-minute cancel a trip i have been desperate to go on for years so :/ but! on the bright side it means i get to see my flatmates sooner than i thought and i miss them even though i've been gone from my flat for like a week and a half lol). how have you been???

those are very accurate txf vibes but i will say that scully is a very active and willing participant in being in love with mulder even though he can be very very stupid at times lol. i hope you watch it someday- i think it would be right up your alley! kind of similar doctor who ecological niche of being weird, heartfelt, politically relevant sci-fi with no consistent quality or tone.

ANYWAY. top 5 txf episodes, bearing in mind that i've technically only watched up until the end of the fourth season so far; i'm just a ho for spoilers:

pusher (3.17)... what can i say about pusher that i haven't said already. a lot, probably, because every single day i log on here and i see someone's written new meta about pusher that makes the entire show make more sense. it's just... it's txf distilled to its barest elements. it's about trust and codependency and a supernatural force that is made all the more unsettling by the fact that at its core it is just some guy. it's funny and terrifying and heartfelt all at once. the russian roulette scene changed television

clyde bruckman's final repose (3.04) is also just so txf. darin morgan (the writer) tended to write episodes that were so absurdist they wrapped back around to satirical, but this is far and away my favorite of his because it's not too bonkers. i love coprophages and from outer space especially, but clyde bruckman is a little more grounded, and it manages to be sarcastic and sincere in equal measure. and i love when scully gets to solve the mystery

irresistible (2.13), which is famous for being pretty much the only txf episode where there isn't actually an x-file. and it's SO fucked up. it is hands-down the most fucked up episode of the entire sh- well. besides the episode that they banned from reruns for like a decade for being so fucked up, it's hands-down the most fucked up episode of the entire show

beyond the sea (1.13) and paper hearts (4.10) are thematic sisters so i'm keeping them together. they're both about choosing to move past grief instead of wallowing in it and choosing the future over the past. so what if a criminal says they can give you the answers you've spent your whole life chasing? what matters is that you're at your partner's hospital bedside when he wakes up from an injury, or that you save a little girl's life

right now? probably ice (1.08), because i just rewatched it with my flatmate (who is going through s1 for the first time and is almost as obsessed as i am). it's like if midnight doctor who and the thing had a baby. normally i think this slot would go to duane barry/ascension/one breath (2.05/2.06/2.08) or nisei/731 (3.09/3.10), which are the tightest, tensest episodes relating to the show's overarching mythology

honorable mention goes to elegy (4.22) because the a-plot is a very 90s depiction of neurodivergence and it's not the best-handled thing i've ever seen, but the character showcase of scully in the b-plot gave me fucking brain worms. i cannot stop thinking about it. it's haunting.

also, memento mori (4.14). vince gilligan and gillian anderson you're splitting my therapy bill

ask my top 5/10 anything!!!

[azurestar]

With the Eras Tour movie coming out this weekend, I thought I'd post some of my Batman/Taylor Swift thoughts.

My Tears Ricochet reminds me so strongly of Bruce and Dick's relationship I'm not 100% convinced it wasn't actually written about them. I could probably do a full lyrical analysis to this song, but for now I'll point to a few selected quotes.

Even on my worst day, did I deserve, babe All the hell you gave me? 'Cause I loved you, I swear I loved you 'Til my dying day

You know I didn’t want to have to haunt you But what a ghostly scene You wear the same jewels that I gave you As you bury me

In Swift's discography, the "jewels" represent the albums she lost the rights to, which her former label continues to profit off of. In this context, the jewel is Robin's identity— which Bruce gives Jason weeks after firing Dick.

I didn't have it in myself to go with grace 'Cause when I'd fight, you used to tell me I was brave. And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake? Cursing my name, wishing I stayed ... And you're tossing out blame, drunk on this pain Crossing out the good years

When Bruce fires Dick, he tells him he wants Robin to stay dead. When Dick confronts him about taking on a new Robin, he at first refuses to acknowledge “the years we spent together as Batman and Robin”— before breaking down and angrily admitting that he missed him.

Mastermind reminds me of Barbara —specifically, her conversation with Helena in Birds of Prey #84, when she apologizes for psychologically manipulating her. Read the bridge of Mastermind…

No one wanted to play with me as a little kid So I've been scheming like a criminal ever since To make them love me and make it seem effortless This is the first time I've felt the need to confess And I swear I'm only cryptic and Machiavellian 'cause I care.

…and then the following panels.

Right Where You Left Me is more meta than the others on this list, but it reminds me of Tim— still Robin, still seventeen after all these years.

Everybody moved on I stayed there Dust collected on my pinned-up hair They expected me to find somewhere Some perspective, but I sat and stared Right where you left me … Did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen? Time went on for everybody else, she won't know it She's still 23 inside her fantasy How it was supposed to be…

In a hypothetical edit, I’d change the self-deprecating next line to “Did you hear about the girl who lives in delusion? / Heroes die every day / You don’t have to lose it." You know:

You’re Losing Me reminds me of Stephanie’s time as Robin + War Games.

I gave you all my best me's, my endless empathy And all I did was bleed as I tried to be the bravest soldier Fighting in only your army Frontlines, don't you ignore me I'm the best thing at this party (You're losin' me)

Despite Batman's discouragement, Stephanie gave being Robin everything she had, throwing herself in the line of fire to protect him. Instead of rewarding her efforts, Batman pushes her away, limits her information access, and eventually fires her.

And I wouldn't marry me either A pathological people pleaser Who only wanted you to see her

As War Games progresses, Stephanie's overwhelmed with guilt. All she ever wanted was Batman's support.

Finally, the heart failure theme. Swift incorporates a heartbeat into the track, and “you’re losing me” references a coding hospital patient. The final lyrics:

Stop, you're losin' me Stop, you're losin' me Stop, you're losin' me I can't find a pulse My heart won't start anymore

[chaddicus]

sorry lol I just agreed with that post so much and it got me thinking tbh. I think a lot of us have gotten into a habit of looking at a story so critically, trying to sniff out plot holes and 'bad writing' in a way that misses the fact that the point of a story is to tell a story. I feel like people forget about suspension of disbelief in their mission to analyze a work sometimes. I do think there is a place for in-depth meta analysis of a work, I think it's just as much a worthy fandom experience as any, and maybe that post wasn't even meant to criticize people doing that sort of thing at all, but I just. I think a lot these days about how much more enjoyment I get out of a thing when I decide to watch or read or play it with the intention of just letting it be what it is and not trying to fucking grade its quality or something. you don't have to rate and review everything you do. sometimes you can go 'oh they could have written this differently. but this isn't that version of the story' and then just carry on and not let that other version of how things could have gone haunt your experience. sometimes you have to go 'wow that was kind of dumb' and then just integrate the understanding that the thing you're watching/playing/reading is gonna be kind of dumb sometimes and keep going anyway. and it won't always work out this way, but sometimes you're gonna get a lot more entertainment and joy out of a thing by doing that than by keeping score in your head of the things it's doing 'wrong' or whatever, and I think enjoying a thing for what it is can be a much better use of your time than criticizing it for what it isn't, you know? we're not all film critics. we're not all book reviewers. we don't always need to give a measurement of the quality of everything we experience. you can just experience it. you know?

[clouds-of-wings]

Is it just me or is this show getting kinda repetitive? Butcher is out, then MM lets him back in, because he always does. Frenchie is haunted by his past. A-Train tries to make up for episode 1 and struggles with his background and family. Homelander kills people because of his childhood trauma. I really like when his fucked-up mind is on display, but those torture orgies are getting boring. I actually skipped much of the scenes in his childhood lab because it was so obvious he was just going to dismember everyone. Deep is a dumb insecure fuckboy who's getting manipulated by every woman around. They all just run into the same problems again and again.

And Sage's great advice to Homelander is to... keep doing what he was already doing? He needs the smartest person in the world to tell him that? Stormfront had more interesting and unhinged plans than Sage tbh. I thought Sage would come up with something really counter-intuitive that would change the directions things are going.

I liked the conspiracy convention! The show is at its best when it has its finger on the pulse of the times. I just hope that anti-supe-bill gets passed because that might actually shake up the show. It would be so much more interesting if everyone had to adapt to changed circumstances because right now they're all just running in circles doing the same shit over and over again. Maybe that's a super meta extension of the show's "MCU parody" angle, but tbh I don't think it's that deep.

It would be so cool if the characters actually changed something! Deep being attracted to octopi but it not being real bestiality (in the derogatory/exploitative sense - really he's more of a monsterfucker) because they have human-level intelligence and he can communicate with them is so wonderfully weird and I wish they'd really lean into this. What if A-Train finally did flip and join the Boys instead of straddling the fence season after season? What if Annie turning "dark" was something that actually earned her respect as public shows of strength often do? What if Homelander, for example, lost his powers and couldn't laser people to bits any time he gets triggered anymore? There are so many awesome ideas on the show but it's like the writers are somehow afraid to actually mix things up. It's like that feeling when you're about to sneeze but can't.

[pantherlover]

A Local Habitation Re-Read: Part 5

Hello again! Here's part 5!

Chapter Seventeen:

"Quentin, get something nutritious to go with your soda. A Snickers bar or something." Oh they were both SO lucky May showed up after this.

Oh, poor Luidaeg. She's finally met the person who will eventually be able to remove the geas on her, and she's a person who decides that summoning the night-haunts is an acceptable plan.

Of all the people at ALH, I might like Elliot the most (other than April). I respect a character that can just roll with with an unexpected situation.

Toby mentions that Raven-maids and Raven-men are skin shifters like the Selkies. Given how/why the Selkies were created, this makes me curious about whether the Raven-maids/men were created for similar reasons. In the story published with Be the Serpent, Luidaeg says that she cursed the Siren who murdered her love to join the Sky Kingdoms. Maybe that has something to do with how they came about?

I really do feel sorry for Elliot about Yui. I'm glad they got their wedding after everyone was brought back.

Chapter Eighteen:

Connor is noooooot equipped to help out with quests. You were going to take Toby's car back? *Really*?? You had ONE job, man.

Was Sylvester still the Mad Duke when Quentin started his fostering? I'm pretty sure it was mentioned somewhere, but I can't remember off the top of my head. If he was, that might be why Quentin thinks that 'breaking out into hysterical laughter' is a normal reaction in Shadowed Hills.

Connor's relationship with the Luidaeg is definitely something that I want to try to pay more attention to on this re-read. It would be interesting to see what I can pick up from it now that we know about the Selkies.

Okay, Connor, I understand that your marriage is unhappy, but you're still married. Gently resting your joined hands on Toby's cheek is not cool!

Toby was probably lucky that Alex showed up and distracted Connor; he probably would've gotten a lot angrier than that otherwise.

Chapter Nineteen:

Connor may not be equipped for quests, but he does know his role as coffee-provider.

"We need to talk to [the night-haunts], and this is the only way. Believe me, I don't want to. I'm scared stiff." Toby is the ultimate proof that repeat exposure works.

I think I'm appreciating the wistful 'what-could-have-been' of Toby and Connor's relationship more this time around. I don't think they would've worked out in the long run, but they might've been able to be better friends to each other. It's a little sad that they never got to learn how to be that for each other.

Fuuuuuuuuuck Aaaaallleeeeex. Just - SO many things wrong. First, I feel like he contradicts himself while he's explaining? Does it come naturally or does he not do it to every woman he meets? Second, is it supposed to be a *compliment* that he doesn't enchant every woman he interacts with? Like it means something that he liked her enough to give her no choice in how she felt about him??

I wonder why Gordan didn't sabotage the summoning; she and Elliot got all of the flowers together, she would've had plenty of opportunity. Was she that confident that the night-haunts wouldn't be able to tell Toby anything? Was she hoping that they'd come and eat her? Was she curious enough about the night-haunts that she wanted to see it play out?

The summoning ritual is SO creepy/cool. We don't see Toby doing any concrete 'spells' with her magic; she just forces her way through a situation until she gets a desired outcome. I wonder if having kids is going to make her try to find a more consistent way to do things so she can teach them?

Chapter Twenty:

As much as we learn about them in this chapter, I think the night-haunts are the longest running mystery in the series. I saw a meta a while back theorizing that, after the Roane returned, the night-haunts lost their most stable food source and were in danger of fading unless they found another way to sustain themselves. I'm not sure if this is the direction the series would take them, but it would be a good reason to call in Toby's debt to them.

This might be the first time Toby's ever been described than 'wiser than most who deal with [the night-haunts]'.

The mandrake doppelganger make me sad, and I'm trying very hard not to think that the 'created just to die' part is foreshadowing of any kind.

Forget all the blood magic; Toby's superpower is being able to connect with people so strongly that it affects them *after death*.

Chapter Twenty One

'Backups. They had backups for the backups in this place. It was amazing anything had been able to go wrong: they should've had backups for the people, too.' Funny you should say that, Toby!

'"Look, I'd hug you, but I'd get blood al over you." "I don't care," [Quentin] said, and threw his arms around my neck.' Oh, I'm so glad that Quentin and Toby found each other.

Whatever else you can say about Luidaeg, her bedside manner is still better than Gordan's.

Jan, at least, gets (minor) props for actually planning on telling Toby everything before she died. It is honestly a miracle *anyone* made it out of this alive given how willing everyone was to take their project to the grave.

That's it for this part! As always, please feel free to come talk to me about stuff!