Wyatt couldn’t sleep. He’d tried his best to play it cool with Brynn and failed spectacularly, the past week having been a rare highlight in his otherwise deplorable life.
But happiness was a foreign and elusive concept, one that caused uneasiness instead of contentment. It didn’t feel right, like he hadn’t earned it, like he didn’t deserve it. How could such a wonderful feeling create such a twisted knot in the pit of your stomach?
Usually, when Wyatt slept with a woman, he didn’t feel much of anything; he’d make himself scarce the next morning, or drive them away on purpose for his own entertainment-.. and yet, with his nose nestled in her hair as she slept, he realised he didn’t want Brynn to go home.
He actually enjoyed spending time with her. She wasn’t annoying or high-maintenance, boring or stupid, and she didn’t expect anything from him, nor he her. It was terrifyingly easy.
Wyatt had never been in love before; hadn’t even come close. Not once could he remember having loved anyone or anything, familial, platonic, nor romantic-.. not properly, anyway. Not without condition, doubt, or backlash; but for some inexplicable reason, Brynn had captivated him completely.
She was soft and compassionate yet rugged and unruly, so tenacious – albeit somewhat assumedly – that he couldn’t help but admire her. She was beautiful too, and Wyatt didn’t throw that word around lightly. Hot? Sure. Gorgeous, pretty, sexy? Sure. But never beautiful. That was reserved for more; someone unique, someone he didn’t want to let go, someone he didn’t want anyone else to touch…
No, he definitely didn’t want Brynn to leave at all.
But leaving she was, and Wyatt had no choice in the matter. If she wanted to stay, she would. If not, he could only hope that she’d return one day… He’d thought about asking her not to go, but he didn’t want to beg. His father had always instilled in him not to beg for anything in life, it was demeaning and pathetic.
He’d also said you ought to take what you want by force, but Wyatt was choosing to ignore that part. It wouldn’t feel the same unless she chose for herself.
Whether he wanted to admit it or not, Wyatt was a little worried. He’d tried to ask Brynn about her life back in San Myshuno more than a few times, but she clearly didn’t want to talk about it, expertly shrugging him off every time he broached the subject. He couldn’t tell if she was nervous, ashamed, or if she truly believed it wasn’t worth talking about.
She was so good at hiding certain things that it was damned near driving him insane, and despite their rapidly growing intimacy, he wasn’t much closer to figuring out what was going on.
He couldn’t exactly keep an eye on her either, not from here-.. besides, he’d told himself that following people probably wasn’t the best idea, even if he didn’t necessarily think it was a big deal.
Wyatt sighed deeply; his head pounding. Why had he let her get under his skin? Why didn’t she want to stay? What the hell did she have in San My that she wouldn’t have here? Who the fuck did Gael even think he was? The pathetic fuckwad. She clearly didn’t like the guy all that much, why would she rather leave with him?
Unless-.. what if Brynn meant more to Wyatt than he to her? He doubted she was that good an actor, but he’d found it rather difficult to think straight recently.
Sweating at the thought, Wyatt realised he might have to be a little more honest if he wanted some answers…
Shit.
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Total $hit$how: Hand Me My Shovel
in which Joy has some strong opinions
cw: referenced violence, death mentions
previous // masterlist // next
×~×~×
Joy’s meeting with Sahota had felt a lot like treading water; expending a shit ton of energy and still going nowhere. The others hadn't fared much better. Kaius seemed more sour than usual on his return, and Benji came back from his hour half an hour early. Harbor hadn't come back at all. She'd almost been afraid the morale would slip completely after the bout of failures, but she should've known she could count on Jer to save the day.
“How'd you do it?” It was the number one question on her mind as soon as she’d caught the look of quiet triumph on his face. He might as well have lassoed the sun.
Jericho took a seat across from her. Training had dissolved into lunchtime not long after he’d left, and Joy’d gotten lost in her own thoughts and lingered in the kitchen even after the other two had gone back to the mats.
Hi mouth tightened at her question. “I guess… I convinced him we could help.”
A fair strategy, but it felt like there was more to it. “What did you say?”
“I'll tell you later.” His voice dropped. “Joy, I think we should talk about something.”
Oh she did not like that tone. One syllable in and she knew something was wrong. “What is it?” she asked carefully, casting a habitual glance over her shoulder. No one in the kitchen, no one in the hall.
“It’s Harbor,” Jer replied, glancing down at the table, eyes on his clasped hands. “He… he hurt Sahota. Pretty bad.”
“What?” She felt her brows knit together at his words. “How bad is pretty bad?”
“He started…” Jericho exhaled, paused as if considering something. “I don't know the extent. He was pretty beat up when I got there. Seemed like he was in a lot of pain.”
“Fuck.” Was that why Harbor hadn't come back once his time was up? She'd thought nothing of it until now; he didn't like hanging out with the group, and was all scowls and bitey comments when he was forced to. Nothing new there, but beating up Sahota? That was lower than she'd thought he'd stoop. Did he resent losing the fight on day one? Was he trying to prove something?
“Are you going to tell anyone else?” she said at last.
Jer shook his head. “No, not… not yet. We're supposed to work together. We don't need any more of a rift between us and Harbor.”
“We also don't need a bully on the team,” Joy said. One bad apple would spoil the mission. She didn't want to have to worry about looking over her shoulder whenever Harbor was around.
“I don't know the full story,” Jericho said. “I think we should talk to him about it before jumping to any conclusions—”
“I trust everyone had a productive training day?” Vic’s voice seemed to come out of nowhere, and Joy nearly jumped out of her skin.
Shit, how much did he hear? The thought was instinctive, another habit from making quiet deals and trying to keep out of trouble. She felt she should laugh at her paranoia, especially regarding this, but didn’t it make sense?
Vic was good at acting friendly, but in the last three days alone he’d encouraged them to kill a stranger and watched his partner’s torture as casually as he would a popcorn flick. She had the feeling he’d be quicker to encourage Harbor’s violence than put a stop to it, and that was the last thing they needed.
“I heard Sahota let you all dabble in interrogation,” Vic said, striding into the kitchen. “Did you have fun?”
“I wouldn't call it that,” Joy said, shifting in her chair.
“That's life for you. Never as interesting as the movies.” He took a seat at the end of the table, steepling his fingers. “I understand you made a wager on behalf of Rebecca Finley.”
Sahota’s deal. She’d gotten so wrapped up in the Harbor bullshit she’d forgotten what they’d won.
“Unfortunately, said wager was made without my knowledge,” Vic continued, “and can't be honored in either direction.”
Her mouth was open before she could stop herself. “What? You can't—”
“Cavan.” His tone was a warning, like a rattlesnake shaking its tail, and Joy snapped her mouth shut, clenching her teeth together to keep the words in. The evening meeting where he'd shown them the video was still sharp in her head. Vic could be real fucking mean when provoked. He was a little too similar to some of the army sergeants she'd known in that way, and that wasn't a fact to be proud of.
“As I was saying,” Vic said, “I'm vetoing the deal you made. However, in an effort to reach a compromise, we will be going with a third option instead of either extreme. Finley's off the menu. No more energy will be wasted on deciding what to do about her; we'll just bypass the matter entirely.”
But we earned it.
With the effort of pushing back the sea, Joy managed to bite her tongue. Jericho had earned it, and he hadn’t said a word. Better not to provoke another shouting match with Vic. She knew she wouldn’t come out on top.
“Is that all you have to tell us?” she muttered, unable to keep the irritation out of her voice.
“What are we doing instead?” Jericho asked at the same time, his tone considerably more reasonable than hers.
Vic inclined his head towards Jer. “In the last hour, I've been scouting new assignments,” he replied. “I'm pleased to say I came out the other end with a task for each of you.”
Joy crossed her arms, pressing clenched fists into her sides. Okay, this was good. As long as she was beholden to Vic’s will, she’d better be getting shit done.
“I’ve already spoken to Mr. Manak and Mr. Ruebin. They'll be leaving tomorrow morning to search Finley's drop site for relevant intelligence.”
Her knuckles pressed in deeper, and she had to fight to keep a neutral tone. “Didn't you just say she was off the menu?”
Vic chuckled, and she couldn’t help but think he was entertained by her frustration. Why? Because she couldn’t protest without being threatened with jail time?
“Finley is,” he said. “Finley’s stuff is another matter. Mr. Davis, you and Mr. Harbor will be using my computer to access anything you can on Rotorworx. With your combined skills, you should be able to find weaknesses in their website. Get us some usable information if you can. And Miss Cavan.” His eyes landed on her. “You'll be accompanying Sahota on an expedition of sorts. I've located one of Rotorworx's old project sites. There may be residue there that can clue us in on the Reality Cage.”
Finley could’ve clued them in on the Reality Cage, if Vic wasn’t so hell-bent on doing things his way.
“Okay,” she said, still rigid in her seat. “Cool. Where is he?”
“He’s resting,” Vic said.
She and Jericho shared a glance. Bet he was. The one bright spot here was that the assignments had been divvied up in such a way that Harbor and Jer were paired together. If there was any sense, any fucking decency left in the guy, Jericho could bring it out. If not… Maybe he and Vic were just cut from the same cloth. And in that case, she wanted nothing to do with him.
“I expect you both to tackle your taskings first thing in the morning,” Vic said, getting to his feet. “Rest while you can. It’s imperative we don’t waste another day.”
With that, he left.
Joy slouched back in her chair as soon as his footsteps had faded, looking up at the ceiling. “Guess I shouldn’t be surprised.”
“He has a plan in mind,” Jericho said. “If he thinks Finley is a waste of time—”
“So what if she is? He can’t just snatch that away.”
“He’s in charge.”
“So is Sahota. Doesn’t he get a say?” She huffed, letting her arms drop to her sides. “What if this keeps happening? The whole ‘my way or the highway’ thing?” She shot a sharp look in Jericho’s direction. “What if it gets one of us killed?” She’d dealt with bad leadership before. Experience didn’t mean shit if you weren’t willing to choke down your ego and listen to your troops.
“I don’t think it’ll go that far,” Jericho said quietly. She wondered if he was trying to convince himself.
“He was fine abandoning Sahota. What if next time it’s one of us on the screen?”
Jericho winced. “I don’t think there’s anything we can do about it.” He let out a sigh, tapping the back of his hand. “It’s just this one mission, then we’re done. We won’t have to deal with it anymore.”
She knew he was right, but it still felt like the wrong call. “Is it worth it? What if we end up with another Finley, but he makes us go through with the murder part? Is it worth it?”
He was looking at his hands again. “What about the Cage? This mission isn’t just for us. People are in danger.”
“I know, just…” She clenched her jaw. “Maybe we can do it without them?”
“Joy…”
“We could.” Just her and Jer could do it. Sneak out of here and break the dangergate before things went south. Benji would probably get in on it too, maybe even Manak. Then they could do things her way. They had a location. All they really needed was a crate of C-4 and a description of the Reality Cage.
But Jericho was shaking his head. “I can’t,” he said. “I can’t take that risk based on a maybe. If we leave, we’re still on the wanted posters. I can’t run forever.”
Her burst of rebellion deflated as quickly as it had risen. He was right. She couldn’t ask him to put his kid on the line like that, and even if she was acting alone, she still wanted to see her family again someday.
“Okay,” she said, nodding. “Okay.” The kitchen fell silent. No distant footsteps, no brilliant new ideas. They were stuck following Vic’s orders. She just had to hope he’d keep them in the realm of sanity.
“So,” she said, once again slouching in her chair. “Harbor.”
“Harbor,” Jericho echoed.
“Should we talk to him now? Before tomorrow?”
“I don’t know,” Jer answered. “I don’t think so.”
“No?”
“I think he might see it as an attack. I think… I should just try to bring it up naturally.”
“It should feel like an attack,” Joy protested. “He did something wrong, and he needs to know it.”
“I don’t know,” Jer said again. “I think he… I don’t know, there’s something not adding up with him. It doesn’t fit.”
“Maybe he just hates Sahota,” she offered. “He was the only one who voted against the rescue.”
Jericho shook his head. “I don't think he meant to take it as far as he did. Maybe something set him off.”
And that was just what they needed on the team, someone with an unpredictable temper. Harbor was already hard enough to work with.
“That's no excuse,” she said.
“Let me try tomorrow, okay?” Jer replied, giving her a sincere look. “If it goes bad, we’ll confront him together.”
If it went bad, she wanted him gone. Sure, the guy had psychic powers or whatever, but that didn’t excuse any of his bullshit. If he wound up going overboard and hurting anyone else, she’d take care of him herself.
“Okay,” she said.
“And speaking of…” He gave her a curious look. “You'll be with Sahota tomorrow.”
“Yeah?”
“Can you…” Jer grimaced. “Can you try to check on him? See how he's doing?”
She raised an eyebrow. “Because that went so well last time.”
“This is different.”
“Different how?”
“He…” There was that hesitation again, like Jericho was about to drop some big reveal but thought better of it at the last second. “He seemed upset,” he said.
“Sahota was upset?” She frowned. “Like… he was mad?” Hell, she would be too.
“More like… sad,” Jericho said. “Overwhelmed. I don't know.”
Sahota and sad just didn't compute. Overwhelmed, she could understand, but sad about what? Harbor? The failures of his trainees? Based on everything she'd seen from him so far, it didn't make sense.
“Can you do it?” Jericho said, giving her what could only be described as puppydog eyes. "See if he's okay? Tomorrow?”
Joy sighed. Taserbot mazes she could handle. Lab expeditions, she could handle. Feelings? That's where things got dicey. But despite her own reservations, she nodded. “Tomorrow.”
×~×~×
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