#THE AUDIO IM FUCKING BARKING

[iutdwae]

oh damn :(( lemme try again then

here’s the link — https://www.tumblr.com/sugawhaaa/726296426604265472/jeongin-smut-audio

thinking about how innies breeding kink comes from his want to prove to his hyungs that he’s not a baby :(( so after he fills you till the brim he finds any way he can to plug you up so he can go get chan and binnie,, but by the time they come back everything is all but gone, running down your legs onto the sheets. they’re a disappointed in, but they’ll just have to teach their baby bread how to properly breed a hole :)

also thinking about jisung trusting you 1010% with his and your own pleasure. i mean ofc he would! you love him and he loves you after all :(( he’s a little confused on why you insist that he doms tonight, and if he’s being honest he’s a little scared, but if that’s what you want then he’ll try his best! but the poor baby just doesn’t know how :(( he’s so worried that he’s not making you feel good that he ends up a sobbing, cumming mess asking you for help,, he just wants to be a good boy :(( he’ll have to be coddled for a bit to calm him down

🐈‍⬛

that’s exactly who jeongin gets his sex drive from!! he’s been picking up habits left and right from his hyungs and he likes trying them out on you, yet he’s still very dependable on them for help when it comes to pleasing you because he always feels like he needs to be more “manly” </3. his camera roll is full of pictures of you completely fucked out, laid out on the bed with his cum pooling between your legs to show the other members. he’s even asked them on occasion to watch you two fuck, and if you’re up to it too, he might even let one of them fill you up instead so he can take notes—in reality, he kind of just likes watching you get manhandled and pounded by his friends.

teaching hannie how to be the dominant because he’s so humiliated by how flustered and worked up you get him TT. again, he’s begging you to let him bend you over, to let him fuck your mouth so he can hear the way you gag with his cock down your throat. he’s very quick to get the feel of things, though, because it catches you off guard how hard his hips are slamming against your ass, and his low growls are as attractive as their opposite counterpart. he can’t help but let out a gentle whine when he comes, though, in the midst of his roughness; brings you right back to home, almost like a reminder that his whole goal is to please you.

[just-some-random-blogger]

Come Get 'Im!

Pedro Pascal x Actress!Reader

Summary: "It's day 130, and this man with a mustache still can't get a fucking hint and keeps inviting himself to have lunch with me."

Word Count: 2k+

Warnings: Fem!reader, crude language, crack fic, low key social media au format, annoying rat!pedro, mentions/depictions of online hate, use of y/n T_T, fluff, typos, etc.

A/N: HOY @sloanexx ito na. I hope this makes you spiral HAHAHAHAH Also tagging: @pinksirensong @aralezinspace

Shaky cam and out of breath has entered the chat.

It's a tiktok video of you recording yourself while in the middle of a jog.

"I swear," you pant, as the audio captures wind, "to fucking Obama, Trump, and Biden, America-- AMERICA!" you bark, "if one of you thirsty ass idiots come crying to me again for even breathing, BREATHING--" you scream and huff as you catch your breath. You jog a few paces forward. You look over your shoulder, back to your camera, "--around that idiot you like so bad, I'm going to explode."

The camera pans to your nostrils and double chin, "if you want your pathetic, middle aged man so bad, come and fucking get him!"

You harshly pull your phone back and show the man on a hoverboard trailing behind you. His brown hair is blowing with the wind. He raises a hand and waves. He grins at the camera, beaming as he says, "HI TIKTOK!"

"COLLECT," you point the camera back to you, "THIS RAGGEDY BAG OF BONES RIGHT NOW!"

"But I love you!"

"LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Welcome to: A day in the life of someone who is contractually obligated to be close to Pedro Pascal. Featuring you! The actress, who Pedro has been smitten with the entire time since filming and promoting your movie, and has thus since elicited the wrath of (some of) the Pascal girlies! Yay!

So, tell us, what is it like to be with the one and only Pedro Pascal! It is everything, all the fangirls dream of? Well, let's take a look at some footage!

It's a behind the scenes video. There is no audio available.

You and Pedro are standing far off from the perspective of the camera on an elevated set, in front of a blue screen. Pedro jokingly leans in, pushing his hands to you but not making contact. He's been teasing that he'd push you. He repeats this multiple times before eventually, you get tired and tell him off. He laughs with an open mouth and his tongue out. You turn over you shoulder, motioning something vaguely to someone off cam.

When you turn back to Pedro, he pretends to push you again, but this time, it backfires. He yelps and slips, crashing into a foam of cushions beneath you. Instantly, you turn and point to him, laughing out loud exaggeratedly, pointing at him from above. You then jump down to his side and then tackle him, pretending as though you were on WWE. You end with coiling his arm behind him, sticking your tongue out to the camera.

Wow! How educational!

Here's you and him doing an interview!

"I really enjoy that the film is not scared to dive into that-" you start, gesturing your hands as you passionately pour your thoughts on the theme of the film.

Pedro, who had been listening to you intently, turns to you and randomly pokes your cheek.

You ignore this, used to his behavior, as you continue, "I think it's really important that we, as a society, openly talk about this dilemma and critically reassess it."

Pedro pokes your cheek again, only this time, you turn to him, and he faces front and acts as if he did not just do that.

You turn back to the interviewer. He makes another attempt at poking you face, only this time, you turn and bite at his finger. You very nearly manage to get him.

He pulls his finger back and gasps, clutching both his hands to his chest, "ay, dios mio."

You snarl at him before going back as you were. You break into a chuckle when you hear him slipping into laughter. He says "that was actually scary."

"You deserve it."

Here's you and Pedro talking to a child that is a fan of both your separate work! (His being The Mandalorian, yours being A Mermaid Tale)

You coo as the little girl runs up to you and hugs your legs. You lower yourself, so to embrace the child in your arms. You coo as the small child wraps her arms around you. Pedro, from behind you, grins as he takes a photo of your interaction.

When she pulls away from you, you gasp at her pigtails, complementing them.

She smiles, "it's like- like your hair in the movie!"

You grin, "such a smart girl! It totally is, but honestly, yours is so much better!"

The girl smiles at you and you smile back at her. She then looks up to the man that was standing behind you, pointing at him before turning back to you, "he's - ss friends with baby yoda!" she breaks her words the way small children do.

Pedro, adoring the attention and the recognition from the child, jumps from behind you to dramatically exclaim and clutch his chest, "I'M FRIENDS WITH YODA!"

The girl looks up at the man, stepping back, then turning to her mom for guidance. Her mom, by the way, was recording the whole interaction. She breaks into a laugh at her daughter's nervousness, "it's ok baby."

You and Pedro follow suit in laughter, though you turn and swat at him, "you scared the poor child."

"I'm so sorry, my love," Pedro says, placing a hand on his chest, "I was just so excited about baby yoda!" he explains, ending with a goofy face.

The girl turns back to him, finally breaking into a smile.

"YES! I'm cool again!" Pedro says just as you stand and he bends down to raise his knuckles to the child for a fist bump.

She apprehensively bumps knuckles with him. Pedro gasps and coos, "right on!" He then raises his hands, "what about a hug?"

The girl bends her knees, gaining momentum, then she jumps into Pedro's arms, sealing him into a tight hug.

Everyone AWWS.

Everyone, that is, except... the haters.

Pull up the receipts.(For various reasons, some text has been censored or removed.)

@w0nderw0madn: omF******g if i have to see that b**** ass [redacted] [y/n] f****** grope my pedro again im going to kill her and [redacted multiple texts...]

@ilovechesed: i have no idea who [y/n] thinks she is but it's so f****** pathetic of her to throw herself onto pedro pascal when he's clearly not even interested in him

[redacted]'s video: Hot take. You guys are only thirsting after [Y/N] because she's hot by association of Pedro Pascal

[Y/N] Receives Faces Wave Of Internet Trolls After Her New Film's Recent Debut

But internet trolls are promptly handled by people with actual brain cells.

@w0nderw0madn: omF******g if i have to see that b**** ass [redacted] [y/n] f****** grope my pedro again im going to kill her and [redacted multiple texts...]

@pedropascstiddies replied to w0nderw0man: LMAO I REPORTED YOU WITH MY 10 ACCOUNTS HOPE YOU ENJOY GETTING YOUR ACCOUNT DELETED

@ilovechesed: i have no idea who [y/n] thinks she is but it's so f****** pathetic of her to throw herself onto pedro pascal when he's clearly not even interested in him

@loverofdilfsd replied to ilovechesed: ? you mean this pedro pascal [image attached] [image description: A picture of Pedro Pascal looking at [Y/N] with a soft smile as while she answers a question during a red carpet premiere]

@ynbabymyluv replied to ilovechesed: you mean this pedro pascal? [image attached] [image description: A picture of Pedro Pascal grinning widely as he embraces [Y/N] mid pout]

@100ass replied to ynbabymyluv: nah here's the video of that and im salty too [video attached] [video description: Pedro Pascal asks for a bit of [Y/N]'s food but she releases it before he grabs on to the plate.]

[redacted]'s video: Hot take. You guys are only thirsting after [Y/N] because she's hot by association of Pedro Pascal

user842048525972 commented: ass take

i-think-imprettycool commented: 💀YALL MF DO ANYTHING FOR CLOUT

swiftandshore commented: Or you dont have taste

[Y/N] Receives Faces Wave Of Internet Trolls After Her New Film's Recent Debut

And fans are coming to her aid. 💅 As they should.

Of course we can't end this without showing some of the love people have extended for their new internet fixation.

In coming receipts.

[y/n] and pedro being NSFW for 10 minutes straight

>>Most played [6:43]: [video description: [Y/N] and Pedro Pascal's make out scene]

"If you go out without me - " he growls, grabbing her by the wrist, ripping her back into his chest. He then grabs her by her hair, forcing her face him. "You'll what? Huh?!" she hisses, craning her neck up as she grabs his shirt, pulling him down to her. She grunts, "what? You'll leave me in the fucking desert like what you did last time!" "WHAT'S IT GOING TO TAKE FOR YOU TO BELIEVE THAT WASN'T MY CHOICE!" "SHOW ME YOUR STATUS REPORT FILE!" He scoffs, "you and your fucking reports." "Show me your status report file," she words sternly. "You want a status report?!" he fumes. "YES! SHOW ME-" Her words are cut off when her mouth is covered with his. He releases her hair to clutch her cheeks and pushes her against the wall. She releases his shirt to dig her fingers into his sides. He moans. She laughs, "wimp."

89igotaletter commented: I LOVE IT WHEN [Y/N] AND PEDRO.

Andre Potato commented: MOMMY SORRY DADDY SORRY MOMMY SORRY DADDY SORRY

broalhasd commented: everyday i wake up and thank God that for this holy collab.

@830marbel: if it ever gets tiring being so hot @yn_real_ig, pls allow me to cool you with my tears

@yn_real_ig replied to 830marbel: i appreciate it but i still have 2 trays of pedro's tears. i put them in my juice 🧊🧊

@evrything284: i dont know if i want to be @yn_realig or pedro pascal in this [image attached] [image description: A picture of [Y/N] and Pedro Pascal together on the red carpet premiere for their film]

@yn_real_ig replied to evrything284: be true to you. be yourself. be our 3rd

@pedfroizaac: btw @yn_real_ig our boyfriend [image attached] [image description: Bugs Bunny communist meme]

@yn_real_ig replied to pedfroizaac: this is america [image attached] [image description: A bald eagle in front of the American flag]

Final thoughts from both players.

Here is fan favorite interview of you both.

You pull a piece of paper from a jar and read its contents, "what's your favorite thing about the other-- murder," you say, throwing the paper off to the side.

Pedro, who was sitting by your right makes a nervous sound, jaw dropping. He then promptly smirks and nods, "exactly."

You turn to the camera and nod, "murder."

"I'm into that."

"Murder."

"I am murder," Pedro agrees, raising his hands as he shrugs.

"Murder," you repeat one last time before turning to Pedro, "and his mustache."

"Oh," Pedro smiles, rubbing his 'stache as he leans back, "thank you. I grew it myself."

"I don't appreciate beard burn though," you wave your hands to your face.

"That's not what she said last night," Pedro takes his turn to look at the camera as he gives a stupid look.

You snap at him, "what did I say last night?"

Pedro ignores you and crosses his arms, "my favorite thing about you would be-"

"No wait, what did I say last night?"

Pedro looks at you.

"Tell them what I said last night."

Pedro purses his lips into a tight smile, "what?"

You challenge, "tell them what I told you last night."

His ears begin to burn. He shifts on his chair as his jaw slacks, "ha?"

"You want me to say what I told you last night?"

He begins to break a sweat, "I-I-" he laughs, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

You raise your brows at him.

Pedro clears his throat and rubs his lap, "I love how compassionate and kind she is."

You snort, leaning back in your chair, "okay."

To this day, people who stumble on that interview still comment: WHAT THE FUCK DID SHE TELL HIM LAST NIGHT?????

[prettyboy-basement]

. . . downloading . . . finished ! (chuuya x ftm!reader (feat. creepy!dazai))

dazai lazily stepped into his room, stripping off his trenchcoat. he unbuckled his belt and unbuttoned his pants before sitting at his desk. he opened his computer and smirked at the stream that was starting. his new favorite one.

the video was just the streamer's usual bed, where he played all of his video games. however, there was a certain audio accompanying it. it sounded slick and was sounding rapidly.

"damn, i didn't know you had so many fans, darling."

that voice sounded familiar...

"ah- n-no, they'll kick me- oh god - kick me off! pleeeaaasee stooop..."

"don't worry, doll. i'll keep them from kicking you off."

suddenly, someone came into frame, and dazai realized why the voice was familiar.

chuuya.

chuuya, with dazai's favorite streamer on his lap. his fingers deep inside of him.

"you're really popular.. what, do you all want your fingers inside of him? or... would you lot rather have something else?" chuuya chuckled "man you all are desperate as hell."

dazai rolled his eyes and typed out 'you're the loser for thinking you need to be so possessive' and sent it out

he didn't think chuuya saw until he heard him bark out a laugh.

"oh yeah? i bet you're just some incel sittin' at his desk with your hand down your pants"

dazai hummed. "well you're technically not wrong." though, he didn't identify himself as an incel, he was quite the shut in when he wasn't at work.

"ah- fuck-..." dazai spilled into his hand. "dammit... i wish i was chuuya..." he muttered and gently set his head on the desk.

"well... im sure i could convince him to leave chuuya and to be with me... i know i can."

[lover-girl-for-life]

HELP????

THE WAY THE NEW MILO AUDIO HAS ME IN A CHOKEHOLD IS FUCKING INSANE, IT HASNT BEEN OUT FOR 48 HOURS AND IM ALREADY FOAMING AT THE MOUTH WHILE LISTENING??

(Praying that once Erik gets monetized YouTube doesn't take them down..)

OH YEAH AND LASKOS BARK BARK BARK. 'the whole time?!-we- the whole time??' he's so babygirl. (Getting the strap rn) EW NO WAY I JS TYPED THAT. (Im keeping it in cause I dot like deleting stuff.

anyways super excited to see who's next !! (praying that it's David or Guy..)

[mangoposts]

My fav edits/videos 😋

Both!!

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8CCvH2G/

WOOOOOOOO!!! IM SUCH AN ARM GIRL ITS RIDICULOUS

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8CXjK3S/

YES

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8CXFw2Y/

GOTTA HAVE BOAF!!!

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8CXR7kk/

AHHSHDJFK EXACTLY WHAT THE SONG SAID

Matt!!

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8CCteN7/

Trust me when I say, I am barking

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8CCtVP8/

AGHHDHDJF TOUR MATT>>>

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8CCqT8o/

BARKING PT2

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8CC7j3G/

MEN IN PLAID PJ PANTS JUST DO SOMETHING TO ME… FUCK

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8CC4xka/

THIS AUDIO W MATT, BRB GRABBING MY MAGIC WAND

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8CC36uw/

Matt is just so adorable UGH

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8CCKVA8/

Gotta have him

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8CCw7oH/

Exactly what the song said

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8CCqTXx/

There’s gotta be crack in this audio bc wth

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8CC4T9Y/

MY ABSOLUTE FAVE PLS

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8CXkLXb/

Need him so bad it’s concerning

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8CXaDpD/

Dw I’m choosing you

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8CXHBno/

Whip it out and put it in me

Chris!!

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8CCw2xG/

Giggling rn

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8CXRPtQ/

The first clip has me in a chokehold fr

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8CCtDPs/

I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8CCq1sQ/

and

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8CXyLKL/

HIS SIDE PROFILE 🫠 I wanna ride his nose so bad

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8CCVmG8/

He def knows

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8CX5rYb/

WOWOHDJDJ

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8CXhXr8/

Shiiii I love it too

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8CXfg4E/

More side profile 🤭

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8CXYtwA/

CLIP 4 AND 6!/!:&;

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8CXD6PX/

The intro 😍

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8CXkHPH/

Dumb dick fr 😋

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8CXFVHj/

MORE ARMS 😵‍💫

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8CX6hr8/

YES TF IT CAN!!

Bonus bc I think it’s funny hehe 🤭

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8CXHYy6/

— 🧸

ALL LF THESE AREE MMMMMMMMMMMMM The very first Chris link is literally my favourite Chris edit to ever exist

Both

🔗

🔗

🔗

🔗

Matt

🔗

🔗

🔗

🔗

🔗

🔗

🔗

🔗

🔗

🔗

🔗

🔗

🔗

Chris

🔗

🔗

🔗

🔗

🔗

🔗

🔗

🔗

🔗

🔗

🔗

🔗

🔗

🔗

🔗

[toons-and-doom]

somehow got a shitty headcanon that pebbles became a twisted by pure accident just dandy accidentally throwing pebbles into the ichor and then pebbles became a twisted 😭

Im imagining this in a more funnier context than it should be

Pebbles and dandy are walking by a pit of ichor when pebbles accidentally walks infront of dandy and gets fucking kicked by accident

He goes FLYING and ricochets into a vat of ichor. Dandy is freaking out because he might have just lost his dog

But no

Pebbles is built different and pops out on the surface. Fucked up, but relatively fine

Imagine if he still recognizes dandy because pebbles is dandy’s dog so he’s barking and acting as if this was only a mild inconvenience.

It reminds me of that audio that’s like ‘ this dog is- what- what’s going on I’m scared - who the fuck-?! ‘

[yaknowlikenyah]

hi 21 y/o trans fag here i think im in love with you a little bit and I Would bark like a dog at your feet just to taste you for a moment and if how hard I just came to your audios is anything to go by i would squirt all over the bed just from fucking you with the strap if you wanted me to

Thanks babe Holy fuck just hit every kink I have at once why don’t you.

[kerink]

243 react

nyt puzzle hurting cecil... just like sarah

nvcr has been there for a billion years and only just got a lost and found

still no station management........... we need to hear how city counsel is coping

laser focused and on topic. sure baby.

im so excited to see if this whole lost and found thing is gonna lead to like... kevin having lost a part of himself and thats what boy!kevin is

nice accent cecil so cute. taking lessons from carlos?

did laugh over england starting a war

things rarely work out for the best huh baby? hows that depression going?

we are dirt. dirt is us. etc

lost dog.... aubergine

the sunlight has never been that sunlight

i love that this ep is giving me guidelines vibes

fuck the audio during this part about the mountain is so cool

the boat is overflowing with blood....

the boy knows the truth.... he hungers for the terrible and violent future before him hes a terrible and violent person....

nils is really going thru it huh?

i want orb cecil 🙋‍♀️

baby are u getting hang overs now?

its so hard to not read hella deep into this ep like i do with the guidelines episodes lmfao

the sarah bit hit wayyy too hard

barks ennui is ok!🙌

[pearlzier]

OKAY UH KINDA UNRELATED BUT ALSO RELATED I WAS GOING THROUGH MY SAVED AUDIOS ON TIKTOK AND I FOUND THE "YOU BETTER BARK LIKE YOU WANT IT" EXCEPT ITS A MARKIPLIER, MIGUEL OHARA, AND NIGHTWING ONE

im frothing at the FUCKING mouth miguel ohara nightwing MARKIPLIER oh my GODDDD

[leiawritesstories]

a snippet

LOOK WHO'S WRITING AGAIN????? it feels so good to be back, thank you thank you thank you to everyone who puts up with me :))

enjoy this very small piece from Until Proven Guilty, which will (hopefully) be going into the editing phase soon! 👀

“Hey.” Elide poked her head into Aelin’s office. 

Aelin barely glanced up from her computer. “Yeah?” 

The petite woman dropped a slip of paper on Aelin’s desk. “Thought you might want to see this.” 

“Mhmm.” Distractedly, Aelin took the paper and set it by her keyboard, not really looking away from whatever she was busily typing. “Thanks, Ells.” 

“Aelin.” Elide’s voice was not the kind to be brushed off. “I need you to look at that. Now.” 

The steel in her second’s voice jerked Aelin out of her focus mode. She blinked, shook her head, and properly came to attention. “Okay.” She picked up the small paper and scanned the short message, and her eyes widened slightly, the only outward sign of her shock. “What.” 

“Go check on it.” Elide grasped Aelin’s hand and practically hauled her to her feet. “I’ll handle anything that comes to your office for however long it takes you. Go. Now.” 

Barely remembering to close her computer, Aelin hurried upstairs to her other office, rushing through the security protocols, and dropped into her boss chair. She snatched the small headset that rested in the second drawer of her desk and turned it on. The earpiece was barely in her ear before she was barking commands into the device. 

“Boss?” Nox answered within seconds of her ringing him. 

“I need to hear the chatter.” Aelin gave no explanation–she knew Nox would know exactly what she was talking about. 

“Right.” There was a series of clicks and taps on the other end of the line as Nox found the audio he needed her to hear. “Timestamp: 1147 this morning, Orynth PD Channel 074.” He pressed another button, and radio static crackled in Aelin’s ear for a few seconds before resolving into a few male voices. 

He’s supposed to arrive today.

Who?

The special forces officer, you jackass! Didn’t you listen to the captain’s briefing?

The hell would I? He hasn’t said anything useful for weeks. 

There was the unmistakable sound of someone swatting someone else upside the head. Whatever. Special forces comes today. 

Hope he’s able to get some kind of info on this godsdamn case. A snort. If he can’t, I hope to the bloody gods they toss the whole thing, cuz I’m just about done waiting around for some criminal who doesn’t exist to leave evidence of their supposed crimes.

The hell d’you mean, ‘doesn’t exist?’ We wouldn’t be on this fucking case if the criminal didn’t exist! Stakeouts take time, officer.

Not this much time. That was a new voice, Aelin observed, and she could hear the muffled curses and rustles of surprise that followed this new voice’s entry into the conversation. 

Just who the hell are you? 

Special forces. Interesting. Aelin filed that little fact away for later. 

Fine. Welcome to the investigation. Ain’t shit worth investigating, though.

The special forces officer chuckled sarcastically. That’s what all you morons think, isn’t it?

Who the fuck are you calling a moron?

All of you. I wouldn’t be here if you were competent. Where’s the case file? I need it. Aelin knew it was bad of her, but gods, she liked this special forces officer. He wasn’t afraid to call Orynth PD out on their incompetence.

~~~

@live-the-fangirl-life

@superspiritfestival

@thegreyj

@wordsafterhours

@elentiyawhitethorn

@morganofthewildfire

@backtobl4ck

@rowanaelinn

@house-of-galathynius

@tomtenadia

@julemmaes

@swankii-art-teacher

@charlizeed

@booknerdproblems

@chronicchthonic14

@earthtolinds

@goddess-aelin

@sweet-but-stormy

@clea-nightingale

@autumnbabylon

@darling-im-the-queen-of-hell

@llyncooljones

@silentquartz

@sunshinebingo

@hiimheresworld

[caelumsnuff]

Okay just watched the solstice audio which was so SO underwhelming in every possible way

And among my numerous disappointments was this: I understand that a limit of the medium is that the listener characters literally have no voice... but why does it feel like Darlin is the only one who also has no agency? We hear about things they've done off screen but every possible moment of action they've had in a video has been so bland and one sided before another character swoops in to speak for them and deflect the situation. I honestly can't think of a plot point or intercation they have affected by being there because they're literally never given the room or opportunity to do anything

So i have not listened to the solstice audio yet, but honestly you’re so right! In the early days they had agency, their impulsive actions were the catalyst. But i swear, like i keep saying, the further along their story goes, the less and less they have. The Sam safety talk, the David power of friendship talk. Sam and David and literally everyone in their life is just leading them along like a puppy on a leash, that’s seriously what it feels like sometimes. Even the bullshit beating a powerless man tied to a chair shit wasn’t even their idea if i remembered correctly. Fuck, Erik even wrote Sam in the room with Quinn to have that talk and it really does feel like it was such horrible writing to have our mate go in there instead of us. Ik ik “but quinn requested for sam, it wasnt Darlin’s decision!” Exactly!!! And Erik wrote that!!!!

Ugh its SO grrrrrrrrrr bark bark

Edit: i keep thinking about it and i think the first two or three videos are the only ones in which they have agency. Wasnt david the one to tell sam about their past and not themself???? Thats so fucking stupid im crying. The most Doe type character writing for Darlin

[saltysaccharin]

Bbg

— [ELYSIUM AU-ISH] {NONCANON}

• characters :: shigaraki tomura, ryouga atsumu, himegami kuroi, extras

• genre :: crack

• warnings :: written while high. not literally high bc drugs are bad kids but like high in spirit /ij none

prompt / synopsis :: "call him baby girl"

word count :: ~900

a/n :: i had SUCH a day today. very eventful /pos. i should be sleepimg bc i'm tired from said day but bro. smth took over. and i churned out like 900 somwthing words of utter stupidity.

dw, not canon to elysium at all bc. frankly it's TOO stupid to be 🫶

Himegami ordering Shigaraki Tomura to get an updated-daily social media account was supposed to be serious. He was supposed to upload short 'reports' on his life rooming with Apollo every day, not.. whatever this was.

"'Call him baby girl for me'? What the fuck?" Shigaraki barked out a laugh, muttering the comment aloud as he read it and clearly finding it entertaining rather than taking offense to it (as he definitely would have a year or two ago). "Fine. I need to find the fucker first, though."

The audio translated the shuffling off of a couch very well; he had been blessed with a really good phone model by the very person he was planning to make fun of. Oops. Hey, he had to give his audience something, didn't he?

Nice place.

holy shit its actually happening someone clip this quick

🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑

rly went 'bet' lol

Idk what y'all expected ofc he'd do it XD

Shocker, the symbol of fear has no fear?!?!?

Shigaraki casually walked through the spacious penthouse, still using the front camera as the Live continued. His watchers' expressions of disbelief and amusement flooded the chat as he continued his search for a certain doctor.

talk about upper-class

*whistles*

Do u guys need an extra roomie maybe?? 🥺

Address drop or no balls

where is that

Finally peeking his head and his camera around the master bedroom's doorway, the lens focused on his prey. There, sitting at his work desk, was Ryouga Atsumu — otherwise known as Doc Apollo — tinkering with a foldable bow. The brunet grunted ever so often every time he ran into a particularly frustrating component to calibrate.

it's a wild apollo!

Sexy Heroes in your area right now! Click the link: <https://www.insertcreativedomain.com/japan-no-2>

help mods theres a fucking bot

@/ERĀ Mod get the bot pls

Im jealous ngl how come u get to live w/ him :(

@/ERĀ sic it

THE SPAMBOT LOLOLOLOL

An especially impatient fan sent a Gift into the Live in an attempt to encourage Shigaraki. The loud notification from it managed to catch Ryouga's notice, dragging his attention from his weapon directly to Shigaraki.

"Oh, hey. Need anything?" Ryouga smiled softly as he spun his chair to face the correct direction. With a hum, he tilted his head before pointing at the phone in Shigaraki's hand, "Is it rolling? Daily check-in?" He asked curiously.

"It's live," Shigaraki replied, stepping out of the concealment of the doorway since he'd been discovered. He straightened his camera as well. "People are watching in real time."

Ryouga made an O with his mouth in understanding and nodded. "Right, yeah. Well, you know I don't involve myself much with social media, Shigaraki; I have a whole group of people running my account for me."

WHAT

omg he's a boomer in disguise. i knew no guy could be perfect </3

Was this not common knowledge?

knowing Apollo having a team just for managing his Tweetr made my fucking week

Send help

Shigaraki waved his free hand in dismissal, "Yeah, yeah, I know all that—" He paused, suddenly narrowing his eyes as he stared directly at the former, "—baby girl." Delivered with absolutely no shame, accompanied by a singular finger gun and a tongue click.

Ryouga only stared in response, seemingly frozen in time. Mouth slightly agape, he blinked twice, then a bunch more times in quick succession before leaning forward in his chair and shaking his head. He knitted his eyebrows as he squinted at Shigaraki for answers.

"Baby what?"

Shigaraki snickered as his focus transferred to the live chat, his thousand-or-so viewers currently blowing up the inbox at the speed of a bullet train. The number signifying how many people were watching went up a slight amount as more people joined the stream.

"Nonono, you listen here," Ryouga pushed himself up from his seat before marching toward Shigaraki, who watched him approach through the camera rather than directly with his own eyes. The red-eyed man only grinned as the doctor gave him an incredulous look.

Quite the switch in expressions compared to their less amicable times with one another.

"Ryouga, it's fine, it's a fucking meme—" Shigaraki managed to explain between every other chuckle as he raised both hands in surrender, the camera angle disregarded as the screen now barely showed either of them fully, much to the dismay of the people watching. It captured a diagonally-warped perspective of Shigaraki's face as he looked at the off-screen Ryouga.

I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING :ANGR:

this is honestly hilarious i cant do this im gonna die today

PLEAS E

Nooo the videooooo

🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑

he looks like he's getting an earful

All the viewers could experience from that point on was hearing Ryouga chuckle and go: "Oh no, I know. I don't keep up with online trends but I'm not that blissfully unaware of my surroundings!" He huffed, albeit overdramatically just to prove his point.

"You.. know? Then why the hell did you give me that look? I thought I upset you!"

"Well, I'm not 'baby girl,'"

A brief shot of Shigaraki's lips being pecked followed that statement, the culprit disappearing from sight as quick as they had committed the crime.

"You are."

"...I'm not sure you know what 'baby girl' entails." Shigaraki coughed into his shoulder, attempting to hide the blush creeping onto his face.

Oh my GOD

WIFE HIM UP APOLLO LMFAOOOOOO

nvm not an earful. mouthful maybe LOL

This was disgusting & I don't mean that in a good way smh

IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME!!!!!

I feel like i've intruded on a moment here

🫣🫣🫣

THEYRE TOGWTHER??_?_(?? AND NOBODY TOLD ME?_(_!()")?

Aww what a cute couple (is sleeping on the highway)

gay gay homosexual gay

@/ERĀ you and me when

Dudeee wtfff (do it again)

When is it my turn to be happy

wait WHAT is happening i literally thought apollo and hawks were still a thing help me

GET IT

Himegami slowly breathed out into her intertwined fingers as she deadpanned at her laptop screen.

What in the nine circles did she just watch?

[theskyexists]

they establish the male lead as brave, de-escalating explosive situations, calling out his new BOSS, and thanking the female lead for standing up to that same boss. noice

oh no this is really embarrassing i hate it lol. absolute nightmare

thank god its over. ‘you have....really good eyesight huh’ hah

oh no not the false assumption!!! AH nice. she made her decision instantly. LOL HER MUM

ok i laughed. that is so stupid hahahaaha

oh god. oh no.  he’s actually an idiot. a big himbo. man.

wow dude - just get a gf and ask her if she might do a little bdsm! lol. why what why would you start shouting about i guess...platonic bdsm ?? haahaha

OH NOOOO. SHES TALKING ABOUT THE BOSS MAN DUDE. COME ON. USE YOUR BRAIN. YOU SEEMED TO HAVE ONE AT THE START

Oh noooooooooooooooooooooo his ex-gf dumped him oh nooooo.

he’s uh....he’s certainly going for it. instead of being like: hey if you’re not put off by this - do you like me maybe also? can we go out? i guess its a fundamentally different relationship hes proposing. ah he was drunk af

WHY ARE THEY DOING THIS AT WORK WTF LOL. ok that wasnt so bad.

oh this is not my thing at all it irks me. like, i need slightly more firewall between real life and whatever stuff they’re trying to do.

this film just said that most d/s relationships are not romantic. IS THAT TRUE???????????????????????????????????? this would explain that stepjan comic....i guess.

they are doing this AT WORK. like, 24/7 play. i just. what. this seems like an extreme form of BDSM to me.ok i like that she put him to work on supporthing her power in the office.amazing

OK! that’s pretty well done!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHA THAT BARK!!!! haahahahahaa. WHY IS THE HOTEL NOT SOUNDPROOFED OH MY GOD

they made him look very handsome while eating some treats. really emphasising that jawline

tHE FUCKING BARKING !!!!   HAHAHAAHA thats amazing. what improvisation! ahahahaahahahahaa

i dont understand the japanese/korean tradition of going to a hotel. why not go HOME. is it because young professionals dont have a home of their own? (like here nowadays -_-)

a very self-interested birthday gift lol.

a lot of kinks passing  by. im mostly itnerested in how they’re gonna beat the big boss: sexist manager man

is he jealous of her bossing around the new employee? lol. they upgraded to way better and more expensive places. awww she’s so tough on the new employee, awwww i feel for him. ok he’s alright, but he definitely IS a possible threat, not an actual one, but definitely possible

HAHAHAHAHAAHAHA BRILLIANT. he wants to roleplay being the new employee. oh my gOD

ohhhh the glasses are...a safeprop. that’s clever!

AT WORK. at least she always locks the doors. if the manager tries to get them both fired for walking in on them ill be pissed

YOU NEED TO SEPERATE YOUR PRIVATE LIFE FROM WORK. proceeds to whip him at work in his work clothes

ah she’s hitting the table.

lots of crossed wires imo. AHAHAHA sorry the delivery is great! but i never understood the whole demanding/annoying sub thing - ah o h no i cannot. no. i am having to shut off the audio.

DID SHE JUST WALK OUT OF THE LOCKED ROOM. INTO THE OFFICE ANYONE CAN ENTER.ah the ultimate scene! she gets to release her frustrations with shit co-workers, and he gets to fail in the environment he works in everyday! the peppy soundtrack to this is amazing

i NEED to not think about whether anyone is gonna walk in because it makes me unable to watch any of this

I KNEW it. at least it wasnt at the climax.

Do NOT hetbait me out of this kiss. or was it purely imaginary

GREAT SOUNDTRACK

i know this is the whole emotional heart of the show, how he falls so hard for her because she treats him nicely(like, normally)) and his ex was a total utter bitch about it. but like - what she’s saying is so normal it SHOULDn’t be something special

oh so ex was ABUSIVE, or is trying to be now. trying to take advantage of him

faldfjslfjasdl the other couple hahahahaah ( ‘she’s feeding him!!!’)

holy shit how did we get here. this is a rom com so everything will be ok right

are you fucking kidding me? this isnt a confession breaking moment! this isn’t a time for fucking slapstick and people finding out they’re freaks or whatever. her friend is in serious danger!

wow she’s pretty fucking stupid for blowing her friend’s cover immediately jezus.

what even. they’re running and driving. it might be my sensitivities but why did they put in a RAPE threat into a rom com.

i guess they treat it pretty well actually. thank GOD she had a taser.

poor woman got rejected. ah a glimmer of hope? oh no that was just her calender

HES GOT A WHOLE FUCKING HOUSE AND THEY ALWAYS GO TO HOTELS WTF

OH NO, the insecurities!

really what she should do is apologise REALLY. she already KNEW it was an abuse of power. not the reason he said no ofc

he’s finally inviting her home???

its fucking hana isn’t it. jezus. wow they really made her awful. they made her AWFUL!!!!!!

PLEASE SLAP THIS GIRL SO HARD SHE NEVER RETURNS JIWOO! oh she didn’t

what is it with people talking metaphors instead of being like: sorry im afraid to date you but im deeply in love with you. OK i guess this is just a very romantic confession

WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY WOULD SHE RESPOND THAT WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY!!!!!!!!!!!! STOP THIS FUCKING NONSENSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

are you fucking kidding me. why would she do that. what a complete idiot. HOLY SHIT. she just couldnt deal with her emotions or what?? im sorry but after liking her for the whole film i find this kind of sheer stupidity absolutely UNFORGIVABLE. and now she’s going to moan about how her life is so hard. YOU made it difficult. oh now shes gonna get wise words from her mum but actually SHE’s the asshole here so i have zero sympathy.

completely ambiguous advice

hold up. did he just try to send the file to just her, but then sent it to everybody? oh my god....

this is. the worst. this is the worst that could possibly happen.worse than anyone walking in on them.

ok so - NOW hes at a real big impact on her life. but it was still her choice to run the risk. not sure how intern man had audio of them though. and why he thought it was a good idea to email her about it on the work email. what a complete incompetent.sometimes incompetence supersedes intention.

i thought they were gonna beat boss man and now this. what a fucking downer.

id just say: ok bye im outtie lol. but i guess you’ll get blacklisted. so instead you gotta sit through it, for a small chance of not getting blacklisted

Why did intern man splice the audio together and everything????????

really. they had them sit through being grilled by sexist old men just to get him to confess? he already confessed. so why was this fucking necessary. do hate the dramatisation going into two things i despise: rape and the violation of something that should be entirely private.

why couldnt this film have been about slapping the sexist old men in the face and kicking them in the balls instead of Jung heroically confessing his already confessed feelings to protect her. ok i liked that moment of catharsis. YES! screaming at the inappropriate sexist power tripping pigs!

sorry but why did he have to confess THREE TIMES for the narrative and her to accept it.

the great thing about it that he’s always using his voice amplify hers.

and now this talking after is entirely too sappy lol

jihoo got a paid suspension but jiwoo got a pay cut. what the absolute fuck. i guess it allowed her to take over the whole department

whoever played hyemi is a really good actress

WHY IS HAN REPLYING ON A BDSM FORUM AT WORK JDLFJDSFJSD he has learned NOTHING

anyway that was a cute end scene.

[roakkaliha]

me, a person who generally does not enjoy making anything animation adjacent: what if i made a minute long animatic for two visual gags in total?

[adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy]

Vampy would pull this thinking he’s so funny hahahahha

IM YELLING

I saw one where the girl had posted a picture and her boyfriend swiped up and was like “I’m literally barking” and she jokingly replied with “bark for me baby” and he sent back a voice memo of him growling and yelling 😭 if that isn’t the most vampy thing I’ve ever seen then I don’t know what is.

Except that he’s a moron, so he’d be halfway through recording and would accidentally choke on his spit, start coughing and hacking violently, and ends up blindly hitting send amidst the chaos. And when she listens to it, she absolutely loses it because not only is the entire thing hilarious, but the audio literally cuts off with him gasping for breath and exasperatingly grumbling, “Fucking hell, I forgot how to deepthroat.”

[wrestlezon]

liveblog containment zone for aew dynamite 8/24/22

ITS TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PUNK VS MOXLEY LETS GO

cant believe i have to wait 2 hours for punk vs moxley the camera held on an audience member with a burberry scarf and my friends lost their mind. expectations for mjf appearance are high if he makes an appearance theyre gonna break my goddamn eardrums. 999 decibels for sure oh jericho is here. are we going to see 2point0 betray their cherished wrestleson??? oh my god the crowd starting off with a "youre a wrestler" chant??? SO GOOD A++++ CROWD YOURE DOING A GREAT JOB FOLKS danny garcia lookin real cute rn ngl. is it because he just looks like a regular dude in his regular guy outfit you RUINED my BEAUTIFUL MOMENT MR JERICHO lmfaooo ADMIT IT. SAY IT. YOURE A SPORT ENTERTAINER. ACCEPT IT DANIEL GARCIA bryan danielson to the rescue CUSTODY OF DANIEL GARCIA LADDER MATCH.jpg lmfao bryan just being like "daniel it looks like youre being bullied here" "you can be whatever you want to be :)" "NO!!! YOURE A SPORTS ENTERTAINER!!!! SAY IT" this is so fucking funny garcia pushed jericho DANIELSON IS LAUGHING HIS ASS OFF HOMEWRECKER FOR MENTOR-MENTEES to be fair that IS the BCC way is it going to be an all out match announcement threats... :o oh lmao there is he (hager appearance)

dax vs lethal is up now big chops sorry my pregame drink has taken effect im just appreciating the men slapping each other sonjay dutt interference!!! these near falls are... NO... NOT THE PIN... huh OH?>???? THE MOTOR CITY MACHINE GUNS????????????? but with LETHAL... monkey paw...

thunder rosa! oh no... shes injured... :( injured enough to have to interim the title. dang...

colten gunn vs billy gunn :O YAY THE ACCLAIMED HIDE YOUR DAD ITS THE ACCLAIMED lmfaoooo Oh my GOD man billy gunn out here scissoring just about EVERYONE toni vs britt vs hayter vs hikaru 4 way womens interim decider match? :OO violence from daddy gunn VIOLENCE ON THE ACCLAIMED FROM STOKELY!!!!!!!!!! NO!! SON LOW BLOWS... stokely's power grows... but to what end

oh! swerve in our glory with the backup... but for why... making friends! oh my. interesting. its good to be on good terms with the other wrestlers.

backstage with death triangle and will ospreay and aussie open... the throwdown! for their match happening tonight

britt baker vs kilynn king i dont like kilynn king's outfit. there i said it. its my least favorite type of orange and many textures BAKER SUCKS chants omg wh what???? the punk vs moxley match is NEXT? it ISNT the main event??????? THEYRE DOING DEATH TRIANGLE AND WILLSPRAY MAIN EVENT??????? WHAT DOES THIS MEAN... DOES THIS MEAN SHENANIGANS... does it mean mjf (lmao) (my friends are getting mad at me for teasing them) oh-- kilynn king got lockjawed

hikaru shida :) appearing to save toni storm 4 way battle... alliances..

backstage with the acclaimed and swerve in our glory! swerve and keith lee talkin bout how theyre fans of the acclaimed and... :OOO A MATCH? AT ALL OUT? FOR THE TAG TEAM TITLES??? THE ACCLAIMED!!!!!!!!! TAG TEAM CHAMPS THE ACCLAIMED!!!!!!!???? OUHGHHHH

OH GOD ITS MOXLEY VS PUNK NOW ouihaofOUGHUISGSGUGHGH man theyve been having feedback mic issues all night. rough stuff for the aew audio crew PUNK IN HIS NEW SHIRT AND HE GOT THE SLEEVES CUT OUT UAUUAAGUHGHHH PLEASE BE EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!! COME ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MANIFESTTTTT (BARK BARK BARK AUGHGHGHUGHHGH) ok they gave me some time to cool off with their staredown we watching a current day punk vs moxley match. very cool LMAO FUCK OFF WITH YOUR BABY LITTLE FOOT!!!!!!! GOD oh my god? what

what

punk squashed... what will this lead to... ;_; god lmfao FRICK though... not even a semblance of a real deal match though! now we have to wait...

backstage with christian cage... sorry mr cage im still reeling from the moxley punk match

ricky starks in the ring ricky......... your shirt is so bright ricky :)c

instant replay on moxley vs punk? ok. explain your angle, aew explain yourselves i mean i can wait. i can. i dont want to, but i can. at least theyre going to maybe address it with this moxley thing after the commercial break. i need something to chew on

moxley backstage! hes aggro. youre right. youre a cool guy moxley... but... the reign of moxley has begun thats cool... i guess...

match announcements! huh? dark order has a mystery slot...? what happened to 10? wasnt he their third? huhhhh...

im fucking inconsolable. im so deflated... like ok i guess... im being worked... into the ground... o|-<

death triangle vs willspray aussie open death triangle has the coolest intro of all time OH THE BEST FRIENDS ARE JUST HANGING OUT IN THE CROWD WATCHING THE MATCH DRINKIN A BEER LMAO MY SPIRITS ARE LIFTED INSTANTLY BY THE PRESENCE OF MY OTHER FAVORITES is this a tornado tag (rhetorical) because lmao @ everyone in the ring all at once william ospreay getting fucking CHOPPED to BITS in here getting PRETZELED to BITS in here oh jesus what a spinny flip off the corner onto the floor by ospreay. scary the best friends :) oh! thats where they are located (back left) ughhhhhH are we doing mask shit with death triangle AGAIN STOPPPPPPPPpppp pac :)c is william ospreay objectively lame or am i just biased against him. i'm watching him sell his moves here and it just makes me wish i was watching orange cassidy instead symmetrical poisonranas!!! :O sorry im marveling at these moves here last five minutes going wild OFF THE RINGPOST???? SCARY STAREDOWN WITH KIP SABIAN... IS IT TIME HUH DECOY MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh this is too bad will ospreay is def gonna win this one then huh

KENNY OMEGA HAS APPEARED...