#THE LITTLE STRAY HAIRS ARE that is my off topic but still included in the warrior cats drawing speech for the night

[marblerose-rue]

click for better quality!!

clawface/nightpelt / request

I NEED TO READ SOME OF THESE SHADOWCLAN CENTERED BOOKS SO BAD

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Unexpected 54

Warnings: non/dubcon, child endangerment, pregnancy, pegging, Lloyd being the worst, post partum, csection, suicidial ideation, Andy is nasty in this, and other dark elements. Not all kinks or triggers are tagged. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

Days pass. Weeks, maybe. There is no dawn or dusk to track the time. You are trapped in this basement, just you and Luna against the monster who took you.

Your only defense is to placate. You keep Andy happy so you can take care of your daughter. You don’t argue with his demands, you don’t push him away as he touches you, you don’t even cry when he fucks you any more. You just close your eyes and let him do what he wants. When you think about it, it’s not too much different than before.

There is no light at the end of this tunnel. If you were to get out of here, your haven is just another prison. Lloyd is only a warden with a different set of rules. For you it doesn’t matter but for Luna, she deserves better than this basement.

Andy snores next to you. It’s time like these you have the urge to hurt him. Your head is filled with violent thoughts. Not just towards your current keeper but to all the men who’ve wronged you. It’s the only strength you can find beneath the crushing weight of futility. Being angry means you still have something left.

A subtle buzz thrums through the mattress. You lean back on your shoulder and peek back at him. His phone vibrates him awake from under his pillow. You remember him tucking it under before he dozed off, likely noticing your straying eyes.

If you could just get it, you could call someone, anyone. But just like everything else, it's unreachable. The door's always locked and the conversation is already decided. He makes the rules and you follow them. It's the only way to keep Luna safe. If it was just you...

You roll onto your back as he grumbles, sliding his hand under the pillow to fumble away the notification. You glimpse the small letters before they swipe away, 'motion detected'. The screen lights up as he rubs his eyes and sits up. He bends over his lap, shrugging as he tries to loosen up his shoulders. 'Doorbell activated', the message pops up as the phone continues to jitter.

"Mmm," he searches around the floor as you sit up, your heart in your throat. Someone's here... "Better see who that is."

He grabs his grey tee shirt and swipes it over his head. You try not to show your eagerness, staying in bed as you watch him on alert. He pulls on his pants and puts the phone in his back pocket before zipping them up. Luna fusses and begins to babble. You move towards the crib and he raises a palm to wave you back.

"I got her," he goes to her as you stand, tense as he reaches in to pick her up, "shh, sweetie, daddy's got you--"

"Andy, please, answer the door," you approach him and he turns his back to you, keeping your daughter out of your reach.

"They can wait," he says as he bounces her, only for her to erupt into sobs. "Sweetie, shhh, shhh," he hushes as he rocks her, "be good for daddy, okay?"

He continues his efforts as you watch helplessly, bouncing on the balls of your feet as you try to get around him but he continues to block you out. You ball your hands, about to tear your hair out as she wails louder and louder.

"Please, let me take her--"

"Why won't she stop?" He growls, "little brat."

"Andy," you whimper as you grab for her and he elbows you away.

"I'll deal with her," he says, "can't have her making all this racket."

He stomps away from you. You're right behind him as he goes over the kitchenette and opens the lower cupboard with his free hand. He pulls out a chest under there, numbers on dials below the clasp. A lock box. He flips it open and cradles her over it.

"Andy, don't! You can't--"

"She's too loud," he bats you away, "the sooner I get up there, the sooner she can come out."

"Please don't lock my baby up," you beg shrilly, "please, let me take her. I'll get her quiet."

Your skin razes with fire and your lungs fill with acid. You try again to take her and he shoves you away so you stagger and hit the table. It jars your bad hip but you barely notice the pain as Luna's cries drive you to desperation.

"Andy!"

"Shut up!" He snarls as he forces her squirming form into the chest, "she's got about ten minutes of air..."

"Please--"

"I don't need either of you drawing attention. Got it," he braces the lid, "anything happens to me, you won't get her out in time."

Tears swell over and spill hotly as he shuts the lid and spins the dials with his thumbs. You race forward and fall to your knees, clutching at the box.

"Andy, please, I can make her quiet. We'll both be quiet!"

"Shhhhh," he pulls out his phone again, "I know you'll be quiet, honey. If you want to see our daughter again."

You nearly collapse as he spins away. You can only watch him go to the stairs and leave you to your panic. You put your ear to the top of the chest and try to hear her. It's too thick. She's going to suffocate in there. You try to pry the edge open with your nails then stagger to your feet, searching the drawers for anything to get the lid up.

Nothing, there's nothing. Your baby, your baby. You can only think of Luna and the terror of that box. You freeze only as a familiar timber rumbles from above. The walls are padded enough to dampen their words but you know that voice. Harlan...

You wait and listen. Is he looking for you? Down here, I'm down here! You want to run up and bang on the door. Even if they know you're there, they won't know the code and they won't have the time to get her out. So you have to be quiet. You have to wait.

There footsteps pass overhead like a clock counting down. You cling to the chest. Please go. Please, please, please....

You collapse over the chest and hug it. You shake as you listen to the voices above drone through the walls. Your heart beats faster and faster as the second pass. Then, it's silent.

You tremble as you stare up at the ceiling. The door opens and the footsteps come down the stairs. Andy appears, nonchalant and unbothered.

"See, that didn't take very long, did it?"

"Open it," you hiss, "please, my baby, open it!"

"Our baby," he nears and puts his hands on his hips, "don't be so dramatic."

"Please, please," you get up on your knees and grab the front of his shirt, "I'll do whatever you want, honey, please, just take her out."

He huffs and shakes his head. He rolls his eyes as he bends over the box and slowly rolls the dials.

"That jackass and his father," he scoffs as the clasp pops. He stands straight, unconcerned. "Sent them off. He... he never appreciated you. Not like I do."

You flip the lid up and scoop Luna out. She's babbling quieter than before, dazed as you touch her all over, checking her pulse and her temperature. You coo at her and rock her, quaking as your adrenaline recedes. A new wave washes for you, something hotter, something more vibrant. Anger. Hatred. Deep and pure.

You look up at Andy as you embrace your daughter. You will kill this man.

[joshua-flipping-washington]

I'm going to share some head canons that I'll be using in my fanfiction I plan to write, or roleplay- Probably both, depending on what comes first. Heavy topics ahead, be warned.

○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○

Eddie has a crop top that has ' Plant Daddy ' written on it in big, bold letters. Robin and Steve bought it for him as a joke, because of the weed. But he loves it so much, he actually wears it quite a bit. ( Shh, it exists in the 80s because I said so. )

Eddie loves cats, he's always been more of a cat person. So when he first moved in with his Uncle Wayne, he'd take care of the strays that lived in the trailer park. When one of the female cats had kittens, he took them in and helped make sure they were all safe, mama included. He even found homes for them, Wayne was so proud he even let Eddie keep his favorite from the litter. A little black cat which he names Santana.

Eddie absolutely loves herptiles, and any type of creepy crawly that others would find themselves running away from. He had a Ball Python when he was a young child, rescued her from a man who wasn't taking care of her properly. Her name was Moonstone, he loved her to pieces. She helped him a lot by giving him someone to talk to when he was struggling. One day when he was out of the house his father had killed her, because she escaped her enclosure and he hated that snake. He always was saying that girls shouldn't play with snakes anyway. Eddie was heartbroken, Moonstone had been his only friend.

Eddie always knew that he was different, that he wasn't who his father wanted him to be. He wanted his little girl, one who would listen and do as she was told. Though he refused to acknowledge that Eddie was trans, he had that " If you want to pretend to be a boy, I'll treat you like one " mentality. And he starts taking Eddie with him to steal cars and valuables they could pawn from rich folks. Telling him it builds character, and that they need the money more than the people they'd stolen from need their stuff. When Eddie didn't listen or he'd freeze up, his father would grab him by the hair and threaten to beat him. This was one of the first times the thought of just buzzing off all his hair came to Eddie, then his father wouldn't have anything to snatch up in his vice like grip.

Eddie finally buzzes all of his hair off in a fit of anger when his dysphoria won't stop screaming at him and poisoning his mind with dark thoughts. He'd done at 3 AM in their tiny bathroom, with shaky hands and the only light on in the small room was a shitty nightlight that barely worked. Tears threatening to fall with how angry he felt. When Eddie cut the clippers off, and tossed them onto the counter. He noticed that the job was very choppy, with some chunks still being longer than all the rest. Causing it to stick up and out. But as Eddie stares into the mirror at his own reflection, he brings a hand up and brushes it over his shitty attempt at buzzing his hair off. For the first time he's able to smile at the reflection looking back at him from in the mirror, and a tear slips down his cheek.

This was the last straw for Eddie's father, he yanked him out of bed in the morning by his forearm when he found the evidence of him chopping all his hair off. He shoved a duffle bag into his arms, and yelled at him to start packing. He'd be going away, because he wasn't about to take care of some broken child who wasn't right in the head.

Eddie's chest ached as he threw what little belongings he had into the small duffle bag, making sure he had the bracelet his mother had given him.

That night after his father had dragged him along on a few more jobs, then at the end of the day he made him pick up his stuff and then he drove him to a lonely looking trailer park in a town Eddie had never heard of. Eddie's eyes were wide as he watched the trailers roll by. His father's pick-up comes to an abrupt stop in front of a trailer in the back of the park, and he turns to look at him. " Get out, this is where we part ways. Your mother might have been able to do it, but I can't. Knock on the door, Wayne'll take ya in. "

Eddie didn't know what to do, he was frozen for a moment after his father said all that he had. When he could sense his father getting pissed, he hurriedly opened the door and clambered out with his bag. Then his father drove off, and that was the last time he ever saw him.

Eddie stepped up to the door, duffle bag slung over his shoulder, he raised his hand and knocked on the door. Unsure of who or what was going to answer the door, his father's friends had never been kind. They'd always been disgusting, and made lewd comments about him.

So, when the door opens, Eddie is standing stock still as he stares wide-eyed up at the man who'd opened the door. Was this man going to hurt him, like his father had? Eddie had bruises on his arms, legs and face as proof.

Wayne had been an old friend of Eddie's mom, when she had Eddie, her husband had kept them both away from him. Because he'd been concerned for the wellbeing of both her, and her child. He could see the type of man he really was, but she wasn't able to see it for herself.

Wayne shook his head. " Come on in, kid. It's about to rain, and I know you're bound to be tired. " His voice was kind and gentle, as he guided Eddie inside, he then let his duffle bag fall to the ground. His lower lip trembled, and tears unwillingly filled his eyes. " I don't know what I did wrong, I always did everything he asked... What's... What's wrong with me?! "

Wayne had never really dealt with a kid before in his whole life, but the second Eddie began to speak, he reached out and pulled him into a tight hug, gently cupping the back of his head. " Now you listen here, and you listen good. There isn't anything wrong with you, not a damn thing. And I want you to know, that as long as you're here with me, you'll always be loved, protected, and seen as who you truly are. Welcome to the family, Eddie. "

Eddie was embarrassed by the fact that he ended up sobbing into Wayne's chest, but from that moment forward, he felt like he truly belonged somewhere. Wayne bought him the best clothes that he could afford, and he even helped him get his run-down van.

[myname-isnia]

Soft Kuviren headcanons (a.k.a after they figured most of their shit out) because I finished an English test early and now I'm bored:

Suiren is 100% the little spoon. She would rather slice her other leg open than admit it but she very much needs to be held

On that topic, when she is being held, she clings to Kuvira like a lifeline. Buries her face in the crook of Kuvira's neck, leaves as little space between them as possible, etc etc. She finds that she gets a lot less nightmares when Kuvira is there

Suiren is perpetually exhausted, so when there is nothing for her to worry about, unless it's a full moon she will fall asleep as soon as her head hits the pillow. Kuvira likes admiring how peaceful Renny looks in her sleep, and often gently traces her features, just light enough not to wake her. Suiren still wakes up sometimes, given how jumpy she is, but pretends she hasn't and enjoys the soft touch

Communication is still a hard thing for them, with their traumas and issues and hard-headedness. Touch is their love language and support system. If one of them is agitated, all it takes is a quiet "C'mere" and a silent offer of an embrace from the other to calm the first down

Building off the previous point, Suiren calms down quickest when she's leaning back against Kuvira, wrapped in her arms with Kuvira placing small kisses along the back of her neck and shoulders. For Kuvira, she needs to lie down with her head on Suiren's chest with Suiren running fingers through her hair

On the other hand, people touching her hair can be a major trigger for Suiren, thanks for nothing Haya. Kuvira learned it the hard way (flying ice is a great teaching tool) and now takes care to respect that boundary, including not pulling on it in a more... private setting, if you know what I mean. Sometimes Suiren allows Kuvira to tuck stray strands behind her ears, but it depends on how her sensory issues behave that day

Now you couldn't waterboard this out of her, but the first time the two of them got intimate (driven by anger and frustration), Suiren was actually worried that, given how 80% of their interactions is throwing insults at each other, Kuvira would say something about her body. She's in pretty good shape, sure, but a childhood of malnutrition left its mark, along with the much more noticeable scars from her years as an assassin. But unlike certain other people, Kuvira has some tact so even if she thought something along those lines, she stayed quiet. Since then, Kuvira has kissed and touched every inch of Suiren and pretty much worships her, especially after they both accept their feelings for each other and let real emotion show through

Kuvira can pretty easily lift Suiren up, and Suiren gets very flustered when she does so

Similarly, colour rushes to Suiren's face whenever Kuvira calls her beautiful, or any variation of that (including "pretty little face" when teasing). She knows full well she's attractive, but it's that Kuvira sees what's underneath and still finds her beautiful is what gets her

At first, all of Kuvira's nicknames for Suiren were mean spirited (ice dagger and waterbending menace being among them). After they get together, Kuvira finds out about the name Suiren's parents called her – 'my little water lily', and how Suiren doesn't like it much because she's not that child they left behind anymore. Kuvira mentions that it's ill fitting, she's not a water lily, she's a red lotus, through and through. The nickname sticks. Suiren tries to say it's way too cheesy, but hearing Kuvira call her "my red lotus" warms her heart

Suiren absolutely sucks at making up nicknames (she calls Mako 'fire boy', and while it does sound intimidating coming from her it's still extremely dumb) so she just calls her 'Vira

Kuvira isn't one for afternoon naps, while Suiren is the personification of a cat, so Kuvira is completely content with just reading or getting lost in thought while Suiren rests with her head in Kuvira's lap

Hand kisses. Nose kisses. Forehead and neck and cheek kisses. All the kisses. All the subtle (and in some cases not so subtle) acts of affection that they both so desperately crave

[sariel626]

Prologue: Straying from Society—Part One

———————————————————————

This will take place from our perspective.

We had been on our way to a warehouse. The evidence pointed to the suspects hiding out there. I had been speaking with ??? about our plan the entire drive, occasionally changing the topic to talk about what we’d be doing after we got off. Suddenly, an explosion was heard, our car went flying and as I slowly faded into unconsciousness, I saw four men in business attire approach us, but then, I blacked out.

I opened the door to find another room filled with people who seemed to be close to my age, all but four staring me down. I counted 16 heads in total, not including myself. “Did you enjoy your rest?” A blonde man asked me as he pushed up his glasses. I could sense that he was annoyed with me already, so I simply nodded and asked if I were the last one. I must have been because all of the doors around me had digital pictures of the rest of the people around me. “I TOLD YOU DUMBASS! I’M STILL GROWING!” “Right~ And how long have you been saying that?” “What’s your problem man?!” “You’re my problem.” We all turned to face the areas the two arguments were coming from. A redhead sporting a fedora held a brunette man by the collar of his shirt with a death glare that could kill while the other seemed laidback and unfazed. The other two were also both men, one with black hair and white bang tips dressed in a black and white Victorian outfit, seeming to have activated his ability. The other, an albino with a black streak also having activated an ability to turn into a Weretiger? Strange, but not the strangest I’ve seen. The brunette from the other fight broke out of the redhead’s grip and touched both boys heads which seemed to deactivate their abilities, “That’s enough commotion out of you two for now”. How ironic coming from the provoker of the other fight. Suddenly, a medium sized flat screen TV hanging on the wall lit up. The screen was half white and half black “report to the gymnasium immediately for the welcome ceremony.” Said a robotic monotone voice. Most of us seemed skeptical at first, but eventually unanimously agreed to attend in hopes of attaining knowledge of our current situation.

We walked the halls, the four still shooting glares here and there. It was clear from the air surrounding us that the distrust was strong enough to kill. Looking around, I took note of landmarks that could be useful for the future such as what appear to be bathroom doors and a staircase. “Hey uh, you’ve been pretty quiet.” The albino from earlier snapped me out of my thoughts, “Sorry about the fight. That Akutagawa guy just makes me so angry! Oh, My name’s Atsushi Nakajima. I’m the Ultimate Babysitter. It’s nice to meet you…” “likewise, I’m (Y/N) (L/N), the Ultimate Scientist.” Then it went silent for a few awkward seconds until Atsushi said, “You’re not much of a talker, are you, (Y/N)?” While sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. “I talk, but only if I deem it necessary.” Silence fell upon us again…until the messy haired brunette approached us with a cheeky grin. “Ah, it seems I’ve found yet another belladonna! Though you seem to be the most beautiful of them all! Would you be so kind and grant me the honor of assisting me in a double suicide?” Is this guy serious? Did he honestly just ask me to commit suicide with him? Suicide! We don’t even know the situation yet he already wants to die? Although…this could make for a fun little experiment to entertain myself. I put on a fake smile and closed my eyes and said in reply, “What method did you have in mind?” He seemed to falter slightly at my response. Atsushi was in pure shock. The other male recovered quickly, however, and said, “any painless way your heart so desires!” Oh, how fun it is to experiment with human emotions! I was so lost in thought, I hadn’t even realized that we arrived in front of two doors with a newer-looking sign that said “gymnasium” hung above. Everyone seemed nervous or skeptical to open the doors except for one, a shorter boy with a farmer’s hat covering the nape of his neck hanging by a thread looped around his neck. He pushed the doors open, all of us unaware that what lay ahead would change our lives as we knew it.

[dsdatingdramas]

The boy my ex’s sister told me I was too good for…

After yet another successful move from dating apps to the socials, I finally built up the courage to go on another date. So it was a fairly safe bet when the man I’d been talking to for a wee while asked me to dinner. When I asked a few of our mutual friends about him the reviews were mixed but oddly enough my ex’s sister’s response of “you can do better” was etched in my brain.

A beautiful summers day lead me to have a cold shower before heading out. The makeup less, hair not done vibe felt the perfect beachy look. Until self doubt settled in and I was convinced he’d hate the lack of effort I put into my appearance on first meeting. This made the 20min car ride feel like hours.

Initially his choice of location caused much anxiety, it was full of Jaffa’s and tourist also pining for a car park. However, after I found a place to park (very marginally) it was up hill from there. Black cat text me to let me know he had arrived and was indeed awkwardly waiting outside - a task I strategically avoided.

I meet him outside the place he suggested for a drink, during my what felt like 2 hour car ride, I decided a hug was appropriate and he followed suit. Although I’m sure it was clear to passers by that we were not well acquainted.

He lead the way to the restaurant and interacted with all wait staff on our behalf besides asking where I’d like to sit. As an anxious gal this was ideal.

After some polite small talk about his gardening (actual gardening) and his Christmas plans, the waiter had still not arrived with the offer of a bevragino. Black cat kindly offered to take himself to the bar and purchased both of our drinks giving me a moment to text my mates to say he probably wasn’t a murderer. When he arrived back with my drink a level of relief was evident in both of us, finally something to do with my hands or a sip to give me a moment to find a topic of conversation.

After conversation began to follow more readily we relocated to walk along the beach where we shared noticings and wonderings from the hustle and bustle that surrounded us. From the strange actions of the people around us to his strange joy for birds the free flowing conversation put me at ease. His slight disdain for most of what we were seeing in front of us made me giggle, although I appreciated his willingness to put up with the environment to spend time with me. It was at this point where he was affectionately nicknamed black cat.

Whilst topic of conversation ranged from how to take a good Insta pic to the helicopter parenting of my two fur babies. We found a spot to sit and watched as the sun began to set and the cold began to seep into my bones. After passing judgements on an array of other daters on the beach whilst blissfully ignoring our own first date awkwardness, I slowly moved closer and closer to black cat attempting to gain warmth from his body. Whilst he joked that I should brought a jacket in this brisk 25 degree heat he suggested we relocate to his flat. Although in hindsight this may have been a little forward I assumed the best and agreed.

Like any sane human I called a friend on my way there, I was quickly meet with a

~ Ooohh going back to his house ~ which was the moment I realised that my naivety about going back to his house may have been a bold. Additionally I stopped for a stray dog on the side of the road which turned a 8 min drive into a 15 min trip.

I had to apologise on arrival, I knew he was a smart man when he replied with “he will be microchipped don’t worry” which is alarming familiar to the “he has a home” comments often repeated by my close friends and family.

His room testimony to his black cat vibes. Very clean and methodical everything had a home; including the beautiful plants he had mentioned earlier in the evening. Not to mention the beautiful hung posters with matching frames in alignment next to his bed. While I attempted to gain the well wishes of his flat cat he set off to get a drink.

When he arrived back he sat closer to me than he had before, limiting the space between our legs and shoulders to mere millimetres. Flirty. As the conversation grew more intimate as did we, I found myself snuggled into his side before divulging the strange lineage that lead to my chaotic Christmas plans.

After some light kissing grew deeper I blurted out something dumb like “I’m not going to sleep with you!” To which he smirked and replied “never?” In a questioning tone. After sharing the conversation I shared with my friend on the way he quickly reassured me he did in fact enjoy my company and although he wouldn’t say no, that wasn’t the reason I was invited back to his house. (Believe what you may… dm me maybe we can start a poll)

After a bit more chat it was time to go home. My thoughts and feels on this experience are mixed. Although id love to live in my naive bubble I can’t help but wonder if maybe the ex’s sister was right on this one.

[megadifferentcupcakewriter]

I'm about to go on a little rant here (there may be some minor anime spoilers ahead), so bear with me but it's another thing that's been bothering me, and I figured I'd post it here cause why not *shrugs* XD

Here lately one of my brother's have been ranting and raving about how anime especially is extremely kid-like, stupid to be into, ridiculous, and how much he hates it and so on; and that's perfectly fine he's entitled to his viewpoint, but at the same time I wanna show him all the evidence that he's wrong about anime being "kid-like" and I point you to the example shown above.

Ya'll know Full Metal don't ya? XD and if you don't here's a little brief explanation as to what the anime is about, (minor spoilers ahead so be warned, it's nothing to big) in a world where Alchemy exists and is used to extremes brother's Ed (yellow-haired character) and his brother Al attempt to bring back the mother they lost some amount of years prior to the series, and that is a big NO NO for the world, the end result? wellllll not to spoil it to much, but things get pretty graphic for the brothers, and in turn it changes their lives forever, so right off the bat-- we've kind of treated to an extremely graphical attempt at the brother's trying to bring back their dead mom, Full Metal also includes "child soldiers" "abuse" "genocide of thousands" "murderers" and that's some of the minor plot points to the anime, my word does it get so much more insane (those of you who are into anime I'd certainly recommend it)

Now allow me to show a little more of what would be considered a "sillier" anime

Here we have bungou stray dogs, again it's a pretty basic premise-- in a world where people have certain abilities, a group of individuals form their own agency to try to stop evil around the world, and many of the character's are pretty goofy, and eccentric in their own ways (some of them like moaning and groaning about the most childish things) and or playing off stuff as comedic effect, but I ask you turn your attention to the character of the far left in the brown coat "Dazai" as he's known. (MILD SPOLIER ALERT, but this happens within like the first five minutes of the anime, so take it as you want XD)

Right off the bat, we meet Dazai in the anime when he's trying to drown himself, and we learn just as quickly he is a suicidal character, seeing no point and or reason to continue to live in a world to the point that many of the man character's just kind of brush it off as this point, he is a MAIN CHARACTER in the anime and thus is thrown in the audience's faces time and time again, the show itself has an overall more "cheerful" tone at times, but delves into topics such as the underground city, mob hits, kills, abuse, and so on-- AGAIN I SAY anime is meant for kids? I think not!~ (again I'd recommend this anime to other anime lovers btw!)

Need I say anything about this anime? XD

EVEN this one!

Looks all happy cheery joy joy right? haha, WRONG!

YES, it's a little more "kid-friendly" then others, but at the same time it still holds elements meant for OLDER AUDIENCES, the basic premise being Iruma (the blue-haired character in the center) is SOLD I repeat (not kidnapped er...not really at least?) SOLD by his parents to a DEMON LORD and forced away from his human life into a world filled with demons, now thankfully, said Demon Lord is very sweet with him, loves and or adores him; BUUUT

If any of the demons discovered that he is a human they will DEVOUR him alive, so he has to live out his new life in basically HELL under the guise of being a demon all because mom and dad were like "ehh fuck it let's sell him to a demon" not only that, but Iruma struggles with trying to fit into the new school he is forced to attend, and yes he makes friends along the way and does better himself with some classmates, but at the same time he finds himself on the business end of some nasty character's.

And take a look at this anime.

(SPOILERS AHEAD)

Teenager loner kid is transported to the world of his dreams in a fantastical wonderful world filled with hot elf girls, maids, dragon people, basically think gamer teen finds himself in a game-- overall he's pretty excited, given that his previous life, he was a shut-in loner, who didn't have any sort of friends and felt like a disappointment, his joy only increases when he meets the lovely elf girl on his right, all happy and cheerful, bright sunshine and rainbows! how is this an anime not suited for kids you may ask?

MAJOR SPOILER TERRITORY AHEAD *but you could always also read this info if you read the premise of the show*

well... cute elf girl is looking for something, and she asks the teen for help to find it; together they go on a search, and long story short; both find themselves brutally murdered by an unforeseen force, and just as the boy is dying, he holds the elf girl's hands, and

poof

he's back, he's standing at the marketplace he had found himself earlier, with everyone not having any sort of memory of what had happened, although he remembers it, he remembers the shear agonizing pain of getting his stomach slashed open, and the assailant playing with his innards as he slowly bled to death, he REMEMBERS each time he dies, and time and time again it begins to happen to him as he tries to make the lives of others around him better. SOME OF THEM IN EXTREMELY GRAPHICAL WAYS (again though one of my fave animes XD)

so I'll say it again

ANIME IS FOR KIDS? um...no.

Thanks for coming to my ted talk XD

[tareyoabrumado]

ive been a lot happier making art since i stopped doing character art.

i was focused on making interesting ocs and their stories and drawing them to keep up with what everyone else was doing. i had one oc i focused on most strongly, and everyone else within the story was an afterthought to fill out the backstory. i still really love the character, dont get it wrong, but i realized over the development process that my favorite parts werent designing and drawing the character; it was the worldbuilding behind it:

speculative biology for nonhuman sentient organisms

language with no basis in existing languages (i developed my first conlang solely for this one character!)

environmental influences on a society's culture

linguistic and cultural barriers upon migration to a new world

practicality and structure of clothing and tools (i feel it reasonable to believe that all the clothes i designed would be easily sewn in real life) (also hair!! many of the hairstyles i designed could theoretically be done irl, provided the wearer had horns)

music and instruments and the arts culture within a society

it got to the point where i would look at the character and there would be so much going on, and yet very little in terms of a present-day storyline. ive since realised this character was just a vessel for all my other interests: linguistics, anthropology, biology, music, and physical crafts.

and i didnt even realize those were things i was that interested in! i knew i liked music, and i was on my way to a second language, but the technical linguistics really came out of nowhere (the biology was a huge surprise, given my apathy when learning it in school).

i havent touched the character in a long time. but im happy leaving their story where its at. they live out their life until they get bored, and then move on to something else, and so on. life goes on.

i got a little bit off-topic with this post. anyway. when i joined the art side of the internet, much of it was dedicated to character design and story. everyone was making intricate universes with overarching stories and detailed characters and relationships and developments; and rather than write books, they shared concept art in the form of comics, scene drawings, and character reference pages. i very rarely saw more traditional art: paintings of just. people and things. nothing exists past the piece. its nobody specific. because of this environment, somewhere in my head it was established that this is what art is these days, and to be an artist online youre expected to do character-based pieces.

so i forced myself into it. its what all my friends were doing, after all. social psychology says that you are your friends. they were all making fanart and of course, character-based pieces with extensive stories behind them. and i just couldnt figure it out. i thought there was some kind of social disconnect--wouldnt be the first time, as i seem to be the only one in my group who really doesnt enjoy playing any videogames aside from minecraft. i tried my best, and really enjoyed the process of building up my character and their backstory and homeland and culture and anatomy and dear god ive strayed away from the character themself. it never was about the character. it was about the messages i was trying to convey. everything that overshadowed the character was everything that was more important. i dont care if the design is too busy--look at all the ways a person could wear chains as jewelry!

i see the details in everything, and especially people. human bodies. nonhuman bodies. clothes and jewelry and hair and everything else. this made drawing very difficult. i wanted to detail every part of it. it became a too-realistic cartoon. i drew the seams in the clothes and the twists in the locs. i had to stop myself from drawing lines in the face. there are lines everywhere and once you notice them its impossible to ignore them. the one time i included lines and creases in the face (not nearly as many as i wanted to, but the minimum required to convey the expression and emotion), my friends said it looked weird. unfortunately cartoons and anime and character illustration have simplified designs, and every character is either young and smooth and beautiful or theyre old and wizened and wrinkled and never beautiful and often played for laughs or when the protagonist needs a mentor figure. for a person grappling with their own identity and physical existence, seeing these sentiments expressed so prominently is. difficult. people have a lot to them and its busy and not traditionally beautiful and complex and thats what makes them interesting beings.

character art is almost always digital in its final form. so that was my medium. i got by with the lineart-colorblock-shading-background setup that much of that kind of art shares. i began using a crayon-style brush for my lineart. i was always searching for a way to do a realistic oil paint style with my coloring and shading. i never found the perfect brush, so my art never turned out exactly how i was dreaming.

i thought i hated art classes. i thought i hated art classes. i thought i hated art classes. i was so trapped in the character-art funnel that nothing was to my standards and every project was shit.

i took two art classes this year to fill credits, one focusing on 2d art and the other on ceramics. neither was digital. neither was about characters.

in my pieces, i want to explore abstract ideas. i could just make a candle lantern with a cool design carved into it; or i could explore themes of what it means to be human. there is not a single character aside from vague representations of human beings. im in love.

for my 2d class, we're expected to keep a sketchbook. any art, so long as it's art. too many times ive filled a page with a drawing of a person. nothing exists past the piece. its nobody specific. and their faces are covered in lines. everywhere. eye bags, crow's feet, lines around the mouth and nose and chin, forehead wrinkles. necks.

they are people aging and they are beautiful. they are young people with decades under their belts and they are beautiful. they are people of every age and every life and they have existed physically enough for their bodies to recognize their physical habits. a testament to their living.

they are not smiling. but they have the crow's feet and the lines around the mouth and nose and chin and you know they have laughed many times before. they have lines between their brows and you know theyve felt worried about maybe one too many things. they have wrinkles on their foreheads and you know theyve felt surprise. everything is surprising. and interesting. and awe-inspiring. and beautiful.

we age and we change. this is a story everyone knows. people are often afraid, but then years later, theyre happier than theyve ever been. and they know it will only get better with time.

november 15, 2022

[thatredheadwriter]

Steven/Marc Distraction Event- Stargazing

Join the Event

I tried to make it extra sweet and fluffy for both my guys, so I hope you enjoy.

These are SFW blurbs for (unspecified) reader with Steven Grant and Marc Spector of the show Moon Knight. This work does not contain smut, however it may contain mature language or themes, and as a rule my blog is only for those over the age of 18 (or the age of majority in your locale). As a writer, I will attempt to make accurate warnings for each of my fics, however I cannot guarantee that I will identify each and every sensitive topic. My works regularly contain swearing, allusions to/mentions of sex, and canon level violence.

Warnings Include (but are not limited to):

teeth rotting fluff

alcohol

allusions to sexy stuff

Please read at your own discretion and consume your fanfiction responsibly.

Steven

It was 1:34 am when Steven received your first text.

are you still up?

His heart did a little flutter, and he responded with something he meant to come off as funny and nonchalant, but he’s fairly certain he sounded like a knob.

come over. i want to show you something.

Steven had never gotten dressed so fast, pulling on a pair of jeans and trainers before running out of his flat. Of course, he had to come back for his wallet and keys and phone. He was outside your door in less that fifteen minutes, only slightly breathless and wishing he’d looked over his hair in the mirror before he’d come. He knocked and waited, but you never answered.

meet me on the roof

He’d missed that message before, but he went to the stairwell and jogged to the top where he found the door propped open with a stray brick.

“Don’t let the door shut,” you called, startling him. “It locks automatically, and I don’t intend to spend the whole night up here.”

He peered around the corner and saw you lying on an old quilt he’d recognized from your flat. You patted the empty space next to you and propped yourself up on your elbows.

“What’s this, then?” he grinned nervously, hands in his pockets as he approached.

“Come lay with me. I’m stargazing,” you drew out the last word, holding up a bottle of red wine you’d brought from the kitchen.

Steven couldn’t help but laugh at you as you flopped back down, grinning like crazy. He grunted as he sat down, the gravel under the quilt crunching as his weight shifted. You passed him the wine bottle and he looked at it for a second before taking a swig. He could still taste your cherry chapstick around the rim.

He laid back on the blanket, his shoulder brushing yours.

“Wow,” he breathed.

“I know,” you looked at him, studying his profile as he stared in awe at the uncharacteristically clear night sky above you. “I’ve never seen it so clear here. It’s almost like we’re out in the country.”

“Yeah, except for the smell of rubbish and all the noise.”

“Yeah, ‘cept for that,” you agreed.

Steven looked over at you, and you tried to look away, but it was too late. He’d caught you staring.

“I thought-I thought we were looking at the stars,” Steven said rather cheekily.

“Oh, well, I don’t know,” you sighed, sitting up just enough so you could change positions, boldly draping yourself on Steven’s shoulder, laying your head down on his chest. “I think I found something else I’d rather look at.”

Steven didn’t know what to say, so he just chuckled awkwardly, his gaze returning to the stars above. You felt his breathing and heart-rate slow against your ear as he relaxed.

“Stay here with me? Forever?” you asked, half asleep and more than a little buzzed.

“Forever.”

Marc

“I’m going to kill you,” you fixed your mercenary boyfriend with your most serious gaze. A feat made easier by the fact that he’d just had the audacity to wake you up at one in the morning.

“Will you just trust me?”

“It has nothing to do with trust,” you grumbled, pulling on a pair of leggings and thick socks, “It has everything to do with sleep.”

“You can sleep on the drive,” he chuckled at your grouchiness. Usually it was you putting up with his sour moods, but he thought you were absolutely adorable when you got grumpy. “Here, let me.”

Marc took your boots from your hands and slid them on your feet, lacing them up for you. He was careful not to pull them too tight, and as he finished each one he placed a kiss to your clothed knee.

“Ready?”

You were not ready. Marc’s latest travels had you in New Mexico, which was a nice change, but you still wished he wasn’t doing the stupid vigilante thing. For the last week you’d stayed in some dumpy motel just outside of Albuquerque, watching shitty daytime TV and waiting on Marc to come back.

You dozed on the drive, and when he finally shut the engine off, the little clock in the dash read 3:24.

“Come on,” Marc opened your door and helped you out.

All the anger and irritation drained out of you at the sight of more than a billion stars blanketing the dark New Mexico skies. Not a cloud in sight to mar the beauty.

“Worth it?” Marc whispered into your ear, but you could only nod.

He pulled a couple blankets and pillows from the floorboard of the cab and walked around to the back of the truck, you were still frozen in place by the open passenger side door, taking it all in.

“Come on,” Marc scooped you up in his arms, making you squeal, before sitting you up on the open tailgate. He’d spread out the blankets in the back and made almost a little nest to lie in.

“You are so getting some when we get back,” you giggled as he hopped up onto the truck bed and laid back on the blankets, opening his arms for you to come join him.

“Who says we have to wait ‘til we get back?” he murmured into your scalp.

“And I thought you wanted to stargaze,” you slapped his chest playfully, eyes turning to the sky above you.

“I’d do anything if it means I get to hold you like this,” he sighed, lying his head back against a pillow.

“You’re going soft, Spector,” your hand rubbed absentmindedly along his chest as you enjoyed a small piece of heaven, just for the two of you. Not that he’d ever admit it, but that was the night he decided he never wanted to be without you.

[baekhvuns]

the duke and his general.

synopsis : in which seonghwa is the duke you’re arranged to, while you’re the general of the royal army.

pairing : seonghwa x reader

themes : angst, comedy & smut. ( tw : blood / war )

word count : 22k ( part two )

you expected everything to go like this, ever since the two of you shared that night together, you’ve never wanted to see him after. the sheer embarrassment and hurt appalled over you, and you were in a complicated state of mind. 

and that’s when you started to avoid him like a plague, no, literally. 

you’ve been waking up before he can, getting ready and successfully leaving before he could wake up. coming back to your room before he comes, showering and sleeping before you could see him. 

you’ve pretended he doesn’t exist for the past four weeks; never once did you look at him in the eye. head down and a small bow or greeting, you walked right pass him whenever you saw him.

simply because, you can’t do it. 

you busied yourself with the duties and the separate military ones, despite the tension between you and seonghwa, none of your comrades questioned anything if they even noticed. 

it’s not like there hasn’t been more than one instance where you walk in the rooming thinking you were early, only to see seonghwa sitting on his bed, a book in his hands and legs crossed.

you would quickly walk away from his sight and you’re sure a deep sigh rings the room, it’s not as if you would keep avoiding him. it’s just that, what you did was awkward and embarrassing for you. you two have no feelings for each other and thus there is no point in making the marriage work.

plus, as written, it is only a contract that lasts for a few months before ultimately you two break off and he marries someone who actually suits him. 

so, when you walk out the bathroom, you’re immediately pushed to the wall and trapped by none other than seonghwa himself. 

his body emits heat and your jaw ticks, he doesn’t say anything for the first few minutes, and you choose to look away. “will you keep avoiding me?” he finally cracks.

there’s a deafening silence between you two, a warm lump that you swallowed quickly almost makes you cough. when you don’t speak or glance at him, he lifts his hand to your chin and forces you to face him. 

his grip isn’t tight or bruising, just enough to guide your face up so he can look the other in the eye.

“will you not even look at me now?” he whispers, “look at me in the eye when i’m speaking to you.” 

“your highness, it’s almost midnight,” you pause, “we should sleep.” 

“we are not falling asleep till i finish my talk,” he grits out and you finally look him in the eye and sigh. 

he grabs your hand and pulls you to sit on his bed, you bite your lower lip at the memories you had on this bed just a few weeks prior.

your eyes are stuck on the pretty carpet on the floor, the only noise being his steady breathing and your heartbeat beating in your ears. 

he hesitates for a moment, leaving a few beats of silence that makes you swallow multiple times. his own self nervous to speak, seeing how quiet it is.

“do you,” he starts, “like someone else— or are you involved with someone outside our marriage.” he plays with his fingers until you answer, mind whirling up the most ridiculous answers you could potentially reply with.

“no, your highness.” you respond quickly, shaking your head.

“stop calling me that.”

“yes, your highness.”

he exhales loudly and then turns into a more serious stance, “have you ever thought about working this marriage out?”

you bite the insides of your cheek; this was exactly the question you were trying to stray away from.

“i-“ you start, turning your head away from him, to glance outside the window. “we are binded together through a piece of contract, your highness. i don’t think i’ve had a single thought on trying to figure out the marriage to potentially make it work.”

“not even once?” he asks, voice now on a lower pitch.

“. . not even once.” 

you avoid looking his way, eyes tiredly focusing outside the window where rays of sun poured through.  

“but i have,” he cracks, “i’ve thought about making our marriage work, i don’t think we both could survive in a loveless marriage, it’ll only hurt us emotionally.”

“but all you did was start fights, bother me just because you wanted a reaction out of me.” you mutter, and he chuckles a little.

“you were the one who started this thing, i told you, you should marry someone not me!” you tell him, voice not raising from your regular calmer tone. 

“yes, i was the one who created this entire contract thing.” he pauses, “i’ll rip it apart.” 

you swallow thickly at his words and the atmosphere made around you, the way he talks so smoothly has you curling your toes. you’ve always been the authoritative one but hearing his lowered voice has shut your mouth up.

“yes, we’ve had our immature arguments on baseless topics.” he lists, “had differences in tastes, opinions, and the way we think.”

“mostly just you,” you add, “you made me almost loose my mind.” 

he bites his lip to stop him from breaking out in a laugh, the expression on your face not helping him. “okay yes i did, but i want to forget that ever happened, instead we should try and sit down to talk.”

you stare at him with narrowed eyes, pressing your lips together.

“i know this is probably a little shocking to you, but i want to make this marriage work.” he eyes you, “it won’t be easy, but i’d like to take the step further.”

you furrows your eyebrows at him, “what do you mean?”

he abruptly stands up, “let’s start from the beginning, forget the contract.” and extends his hand out to you. “it’ll seize to exist.”

“i’m park seonghwa.” you blink repeatedly at him, who stared at you, waiting.

“-duke of eden, firs-“

“park seonghwa, only.” he corrects you with a smile. 

you stare at his hand and then back to his face, he watches you with a smile and slightly tilts his head. with a small smile, you lift your hand to meet his.

“i.. i’m y/n.” he smiles at that and holds onto your hand.

“then miss y/n, let’s start as friends.” 

“ew.”

“ew?” 

seonghwa stares at you wide eyed, your gaze stuck on the red wine placed on the table. ever since the two of you started being ‘friends’, which you were fairly very awkward at, you’ve actually had a decent chat with him.

he officially showed you around the palace, from his library nooks to the secret passageways connecting to different rooms to his personal office. taking you two the hidden rooms, the ones that showcase the stunning beauty of the sea through the windows.

it had only been two days and you’re actually kind of enjoying this, it is still awkward but nonetheless it’s a step further to making this marriage work.

“you don’t drink?”

“you do?” you ask him, lifting your eyes to glance at the apricot hued horizon. 

the two of you were sitting in the balcony that connected to your room, it was almost nightfall, and the entire kingdom was lit up. you could see everything from the secluded space you two had, the small markets, houses, and parliamentary buildings all had their lights turned on.

“should we play a game?” he suggests, resting his arms on the armrest.

“let’s get to know each other through questions,” you hum once again and this time you feel his eyes on you. 

“go on, your highness.” 

he chuckles, “okay then general, how long have you been in the army?” 

you press your lips in a firm line, remembering. “hm, for as long as i can remember, maybe when i was twelve? dad used to teach me a lot, unofficially at twelve and then officially at eighteen.” 

he nods, impressed and sips on is wine. “that’s quite interesting, you’ve spent almost your entire childhood serving here huh?”

you smile, “i have,”

“do you regret it?”

“not one bit.” 

he smiles, “i remember seeing you as a teen,” he pauses to remember. “with a hard stare and a small badge you had on your chest.”

you tick your eyebrow up in surprise, “i do too, just occasional glances at you, wherever you were, i was too.”

“how about you, your highness.” you ask this time, and he turns to look at you. “how many proposals have you rejected before accepting this one?”

he raises an eyebrow at your question, no in malice but in amusement. “if you count every kingdom including empire, and a few from outside then around, uh, seventeen?”

your eyes grow wide at his answer, “seventeen? that’s quite a lot.” 

he nods, “how about you, i’ve heard that your mother tried to set you up with a few nobles.”

you snort, grabbing the wine from the table to your surprise and seonghwa’s. “I didn’t want to get married, and all the ones she choose were just not my type.” you cringe, “all i remember is their mothers wanting me to quit working here.”

he smirks, eyes falling from your eyes to the nose bridge and then to your lightly tinted lips. “can’t imagine you with one of those flimsy guys,” he lets out and you squint your eyes at him.

“what? you almost punched me!” he retorts, “and made me kneel to you!” you shake your head at his whining.

“you asked for both of them.” 

he shakes his head and then continues, “how many wars or even battles have you fought?”

you bring your knees to your chest as your eyes peer out the horizon, “i think three wars? one for ecuador and the other two with elias-“

“ah, that useless one.” he lets out a quiet gasp as he drinks the wine.

“yeah,” you continue, “and then the battles eden has had, some smaller stuff.” you pause.

“i’ve honestly forgotten how many i have fought,” you say as the wind sifts through your hair and seonghwa finds purchase in staring at you.

“do you have any scars?” he asks, feeling a smile curl up on his lips. 

“plenty,” you laugh, remembering the one on your thigh, back, neck and right under your lip. you’re proud of them, because you’ve earned every bit of them by fighting for your kingdom’s protection. 

“what do you even do?” you break in and ask, “aside from cornering girls that is.” 

he laughs at your question and your heart rate quickens, “well, i handle all my father’s work, he’s going to step down soon so i have to follow his footsteps.” 

“accompanying him at travels, visit the town once in a while, make sure everything’s been done correctly with no errors.”  

“and then sign a bunch of documents for eden, then repeat.”

you nod, reaching forward to grab the wine glass he had just lifted and bring it your lips to gulp it down. 

his wide eyes watch you, “why did you want to make this marriage work, you know, considering how adamant you were about that contract?”

he seems to glance of at the scenery, thinking about the question. “i don’t think i’d wanted get married again,” he looks at you. “after the months that are over, that is.”

“i didn’t want marriage because i was, let’s say, scared.” he pauses, “which made me reject everyone.” 

you nod slowly, “i’ve seen how some weddings have ended and, the ones i’ve heard growing up. it was scary but to think about it, y’know?”

he lets out a loud exhale, “i didn’t want to take the risk for it.” 

you nod slowly, “did you eventually wanted to get married? seeing, you’ll be taking the crown in a matter of months.”

he hums, “at one point i did, i wanted a marriage, just not a bad one.” you snort. 

“yet you were trying to make it a bad one,” you say, and he laughs, nodding.

“did you want this?” he asks, and you pause. 

“not like this,” you sip the wine, remembering how this all started. “i wanted simple love, where the two of us live by the seashore and grow old together.”

“have kids at some point and live a simple life, but this, is totally opposite that.” 

he smiles, “i mean to let you know, i have a palace near the seashor-“

“no thanks.” you interrupt him, closing your eyes.

“ah there’s a question i want to ask,” you hum, asking him to continue. “what impresses you?”

“a lot of things actually,��� you pique, licking your lips. 

he grins, stretching his arms forward before slyly putting it behind the frame of the couch, behind you. “i’m not the one who usually shows off but i own the country if that impresses you?”

you stare at him blankly, “i’m good.” he nods, bringing his arms back to him. 

you two then stare off into the horizon, enjoying the comfortable silence. the wind blowing onto your faces, warm yet cool. a series of relaxed sighs would leave you too from time to time and you spared him some glances.  

you could see the way his face had no flaws, perfect skin and face. your eyes then stare at his plumpy lips, quickly looking away before he could catch you.

“do you want kids?” he suddenly asks, and you chuckle, he grinned, it felt good hearing you laugh. 

“at some point, of course.” you cradle your face on your palm, “do you?”

you see his face break out in a bright smile, “of course! i’ve always loved kids, they’re so cute and little and just happy all the time!”

you hum, “you know they cry loudly, poo everywhere and won’t let you sleep at night?”

he turns to face you, “still cute.”

you shake your head and then tie your hair up, then you stand up after a few beats of silence. with a small wave at seonghwa you walked inside, leaving the man alone. 

“i’ll see you tomorrow, seonghwa.”

he nods and then stops dramatically. “did you just call me by my name!?”

“it’s your first visit home after our marriage, isn’t it?” you nod, a smile gracing your lips while your eyes glance around your town.

“uh huh,” you say as one of the doors to your house opens, revealing all your aunts and uncles with arms wide open.

you laugh nervously and lean over to seonghwa who’s already waving his hand at them beautifully, “okay, just behave and act like my nice husband for ten seconds and they’ll be gone.” 

he smiles as you walk past him, and he follows with his hands folded behind his back. 

once you two enter your house, all your relatives seemed to be lined up with big smiles on their faces. “how lovely.” you tightly smiled, and he snorts beside you.

and then your eyes meet your aunts who stare between you and the man standing beside you, clearing your throat you introduce him.

“everyone,” you phase to give seonghwa a look, “this is seonghwa, my husband.”

seonghwa feels his heart swell, a never-ending cheeky smile on his face and the though of you calling him ‘my husband’ for the first time thrills him.

he goes forward to greet them while his eyes meet yours from time to time, and that’s when you notice he’s mouthing the seconds to you.

“ten,” he greets your uncles, “nine.” aunts.

“eight and seven,” when near your cousins.

“six, five and four-“ when he stops beside your father and gives him a salute, to which your dad chuckles at, very surprisingly.

you find yourself snorting at seonghwa, however your eyes follow every movement of his. the smile that reveals his pearly whites, he turns his head to whisper “three and two.” and you nod.

the shiny eyes of his when he talks to your brother and laugh at something he said, which makes you think it was your brother exposing you.

once he’s done greeting everyone, they all start to slowly leave and seonghwa finds his arms around your waist, shooting butterflies in your stomach as he jerks you closer to him. 

“you can let go now,” you say, eyes on that one aunt who isn’t leaving. “they’re all gone.”

the next few hours were perhaps the most weirdest ones, seonghwa had seemed to befriend your mother in a jiffy while your brother wiggles his eyebrows at you for anything seonghwa does that impresses you family even more. 

“stop it, sehun.” you stick your tongue out at him while walking to help your mother with the dinner.

“ahh, did you see all your relatives gush over him?” the minute you enter, your mother corners you.

you scoff, “i did,” and pause, your relatives sure did seem too interested in him more than you.   

“they’re probably going to ask him to divorce me for their dau-“ you didn’t even get the chance to finish your sentence because your very own mother hit you with a green onion.

“why would seonghwa ever do that?” she glares, and you almost laugh out loud, spilling the beans of the contract you two had. 

“both of you look great together,” you turn to your mom, leaning your back on the counter so that the kitchen entrance is in your viewpoint. “the way he looks at you, it’s all visible!”

you’re about to retort back that you see seonghwa standing at the door, you urge him to come in, but he places a finger on his lips, as if to not talk. you squint your eyes at him but agree anyways.

your mother who seems absolutely oblivious to the situation opens her big mouth, “just give me the baby news already! i want to be a grandma before i die.” 

your wide eyes immediately land on seonghwa’s, his eyebrows shoot up to his forehead while your mother rants about wanting to see more grandkids.

“your oldest child has two, mom, twins at that.” you refer to your older sister, and her two devil of kids.

you see how his lips form a smirk, his head nodding to everything your mom talks about. he then uses his two fingers to poke his cheeks, eyes shiny and wide as he bobs his head.

“i don’t think you’ll hear that news soon,” you say, eyes still on him. 

he tilts his head and mouths a, “why not?”

“why not?” your mother asks, “you both would be lovely parents.” and seonghwa nods.

“seonghwa wouldn’t want them.” you narrow your eyes at him, “we haven’t discussed anything yet.”

he leans on the door frame and lifts his hands up, “how many do you think you want?” your mother asks, and you just want to leave the room already.

seonghwa jumps in his spot to get your attention, hands waving at you frantically, your eyes travel from your mother to his. 

he lifts one, two, three, four and five of his fingers, your eyes widen in shock.

“five?!” you yell out loud, making your mother flinch. 

“you want five kids?” your mother questions you with shock and seonghwa nods with a teasing smile before leaving the room, leaving you to deal with her.

“i- no!” with that you glared out the door, sparing your mother a glance before walking out to find him.

the rest of the night was everyone having fun, seonghwa making everyone laugh while your brother and mother spade you amused glances whenever they’d him talk. 

when the visit was over, you wave to your family with big smiles, your hands carried random gifts your mother prepared for you and seonghwa. 

the two of you walk back to the car prepared for you, arms and shoulders brushing each other’s, all on purpose, as you walk back in silence.  

“today was fun,” he says, cheeks heating up at the memory of few moments prior. “i like your family.”

you find yourself smiling too, “it was, they loved you.”

he snorts, “who wouldn’t.” 

you roll your eyes and walk faster, leaving a whining seonghwa behind. he runs after you as you keep walking with a smile, and a totally different reason to why your heart was beating so rapidly.

once the two of you sat down in the cars, you lean back in the seat and close your eyes. a sigh escapes your lips, and you get comfortable in your seat, the ride back to the palace was a long one and getting a nap was what you wanted.

seonghwa does the same, but before he shuts his eyes, he leans down to press his lips against your cheeks, your eyes shoot open at that and he smiles against your skin. 

he then brushes his lips against your ear, “one and zero.”

your eyes blinked at the flash, so bright and blinding. eyes focusing on the room containing a man standing behind the big camera, a big smile on his face as he jumped around. 

“just tilt your head to the side,” he instructs, and you feel seonghwa tilt his head towards you, his gaze roaming your side profile.

“was this necessary,” you ask, pressing your lips in a tight smile as you lifted your hand to neatly place on his chest. 

head facing the front with a smile that could only be called fake, “traditions, y/n, traditions.” he hums bringing you closer by your waist.

family portraits were one of the things every family had to do, to ensure that the future generations knew who the heirs, couples, kids and kings and queens were.

this is what you two were doing, dressed in matching clothes as the man in front of you snapped pictures with his vintage camera.

you find yourself fully paying attention to the camera man that, you almost don’t feel a hand creeping up your back. “what?” you whisper-yelled, looking over your shoulder.

“nothing,” he responds with a grin, “focus on the camera.” fingers drawing circles on your back, going up with each one.

you’re now sat beside him, shoulders touching intentionally and the heat of his body radiating to you. instinctively you lean towards him, both your heads tilt and a smile forms over your lips. 

and then you feel his fingers start to dwindle with your zipper, you stiffen. side eyeing his face that’s bright and happily smiling, one hand neatly placed on your thigh while the other is flat in your back.

“seonghwa,” you warn the man, who only responds with a hum in a singing tone that made your heartbeat fasten.

“yes, sweetheart.” he lowers his chin to place on your shoulder, and you swallow staring at the man ahead who only showed a thumbs up with both of his hands.

“this isn’t the right place to-“ you bite on your tongue when you feel him unzip your dress from the back, slowly, while he nuzzles his cheeks into yours and you break out into a smile.

“everything is a right place if you make it,” he hushes you. slowly unzipping your dress and you shiver when the cold air hits your back, his long and slim fingers caress your skin softly.

his fingertips are hot against your skin and you fight the urge to not stare at him, because you feel that stare, he does. the one where his eyes grow darker, and a glint of playfulness covers him. 

you feel his breathe hit your neck and you turn your head to him, “we can’t, the man’s right the-“

he interrupts you by placing his feverish lips on your cheek, your eyes wide in surprise while the camera man squeals something about the right pose. 

seonghwa’s lips form into a boyish grin, his dark hair cover his eyes and it makes him more enticing. you swallow once again, looking ahead as your cheeks start to get warmer.

one thing he loved to do was, to see your reaction to his touch. he loved the way you twitch out of embarrassment when he touches you or avoid his holds when you’re surrounded by people and he’s sure that it effects you as much as it does to him.

he then wraps a hand around your shoulder, a hand reaching out to gently run through your hair. he hears you inhale shakily and turns his gaze to the front.

eyeing the man in front of him, he cocks up an eyebrow at the man who timidly, yet hastily bows and leaves the room. not before tripping over a few wires on his way out. 

the second the doors shut; it doesn’t take seonghwa a second to pin you on the red couch. you let out a small noise of surprise when he brings your arms above your head.

you can’t control the breathy exhale your lips leave, he dips his face closer to yours and his eyes, filled with every emotion that could possibly decipher lust, desire and playfulness. 

“seonghwa,” you mutter, shakily. eyes frantically searching the room because anyone could walk in, at any given time.

“y/n...” he whispers, lips quirking up into a smirk and he lowers his head down to just inches away from your lips. 

“that’s the thrill baby,” he doesn’t let you speak more as he smashes his lips against yours, a moan leaves your lips seconds later and he presses his lips against yours even more.

his hands run down your curves, up and down as one of them makes its way to your back. 

both your eyes are shut close, lips moulding into each other’s such such finesse that it has him letting out a groan. lips parting for air, tongues crashing as you two moan breathily in unison.

you rake a hand to cup his cheek and his hand that rests on your back, brings the straps of your dress down your shoulders. leaving it up just enough so he can see your cleavage and the goosebumps that come with.

he grabs onto your waist firmly, arching your back to him and he slows down the kiss, turning it more sensual and rhythmic before parting away completely all sloppy and wet and soft.

his lips then hover over the shell of your ear, “won’t you make those pretty noises for me?” he mumbles between kisses he places down your neck, nuzzling his nose into your hair while doing so.

“hm?” he quirks, “i want to hear every single one of those noises, i want everyone to hear them.” 

his tongue flees out his mouth and he licks a circle over the small skin, you let out a tiny mewl and grip his white shirt.

“be louder, baby,” you moan louder when he bites down on your skin. “i want everyone to know how good i make you feel.”

you squirm under him when you feel him suck harshly, mouth hung open in silent cry. his other hand trails down to bunch up your dress over your waist, fingers gingerly lingering over your inner thighs. 

“h-hwa,” you let out a broken whine and he stops all together and then looks into your eyes and it has you gushing with arousal, you’re sure he can feel the heat as his hand rests closer to your underwear.

“what did you say?” he whispers, and you can only stare back in response before he pecks your lips again. “say that again, baby.”

you part your lips when he grinds on you, “hwa,” when he hears you repeat it, he swears he’s never liked that name so much in life.

and you assume he likes it when you call him that, of course he does, it makes him swallow and he feels his cock harden in his pants.

when he looks into your eyes, hooded and full of lust it as him forgetting just who you are and what you could do to him.

his eyes go down to your lips that you’re biting while staring at him with curiosity, his fingers toy with the band on your underwear as he stares at you poking your tongue out.

you see how his swollen lips form into a smile, his eyes this time not only showing desire but something... else you can quite comprehend.

you mirror his smile, but it falters into a loud moan when he slips his fingers under your band and brushes against your pussy, your mouth falls open and he closes it with his lips.

you feel them feverishly trail down your neck and then to your collarbones, while his fingers slip in and out of you. “god, you’re so wet.” he groans against your lips.

your legs spread wide open when he lazily drops your underwear lower, he watches you shiver but only responds by sucking on your skin, marking you with his creation.

you let out moans that can only be described as high pitched, and almost borderline pornographic. he hums and groans against you, letting out moans of his own. 

you exhale his name out loudly and he brings his lips to connect with yours once again, you grind yourself to his fingers while he bites down on your lower lip.

“are you close?” he asks, speeding his fingers down your clit, curling around your g-spot so perfectly that it has you rolling your eyes and head back. 

you can only moan in response, wailing your head to the side as he fastens his speed. bunching up your dress higher and you feel the cold hit your skin, he nuzzles into your neck while shamelessly numbing “good girl” “that’s my baby” “hm, who’s are you?” to which you’d respond with his. 

once you let out a loud cry of his name it hushes you with his lips, mumbling for you to “come on my fingers,” and you do as he says, wrapping your arm around his shoulder.

he then tilts his head, bringing the same fingers that he had in you seconds ago to his mouth. he swirls his tongue around them, and you moan just at the look of that, he then brings those fingers to your lips.

and you wrap your mouth around them, sucking on them as your spit mixes with his. he holds back a growl when he sees how your eyes meet when you swirl your tongue around his fingers, he feels his cock twitch when your eyes roll back.

he ignores the faint noise of the door clicking and lowers his lips to your clothed chest. he feels your boobs all hard and perky and lulls his head back to hold himself in. 

he moves his lips to the strap of your dress; his teeth graze the fabric of the top and bites onto it lightly. your hand takes through his hair and he hums in delight.

his intense eyes stare into yours while he brings down the top of your dress, slowly unraveling your naked chest and he growls looking into your eyes. 

the corner of his lips rises, and he licks his lower lip, pointing his tongue out at your nipple. he’s just about to touch it but a loud cracking nose interrupts you two, your wide eyes stare into his, in panic.

completely forgetting your surroundings, seonghwa lifts his eyes to see where the crash came from and cocks his eyebrow up.

“god damnit, san, that was ancestral.” 

your fingers tighten against his shirt when you hear the familiar name, hiding your face into his neck in sheer embarrassment as your cheeks heat up.

“sorry,” you hear his response, almost strained.

“what’re you doing here?” seonghwa asks, he feels you tighten your grasp against his shirt, and he softly caresses your skin.

“i-,” the said man chokes up, eyes wandering everywhere except the two. 

but he’s already seen it, him on top of you, your moans being pathetically loud and pretty. 

he’s also equally shocked and turned on at the same time, he watches you just seconds prior arching your body up to the duke as your lips parted in ecstasy. 

you feel seonghwa hum against you and he turns to look at you, “trust me,” he places his lips onto your again and you smile slightly.

“how much did you watch?” seonghwa asks the man once again, this time sitting up and you cover yourself, but he stops you. 

his fingers graze your hardened nipples, and you hiss lowly, swallowing as your gaze is stuck on his side. 

“just a little,” san lets out, suddenly finding the floor extremely interesting. 

seonghwa caresses your waist and you lift yourself on your elbows, finally sparing san a glance. 

he stands in a corner, hands folded in front of him making the tent he’s hiding very obvious. 

you eye seonghwa and he smirks, “well then, what’re you waiting for? join us.” 

“w-what,” you and san blink at the man, making swallow and look at san, who had two toned hair.

san’s eyes meet yours briefly before they flicker back to seonghwa who shrugs his shoulders, “i’m sure you had a reason to stay and watch,” he mutters, standing up.

san’s eyes finally fall over yours for a few minutes longer, he sees your red dress bunched up to your waist, your hair tousling over one another and how your boobs peeked out the dress. 

he’d never think he’d see his general like this, and he thinks he quite likes it. 

he swallows when seonghwa lifts two of his fingers for him to come further, and he hesitantly takes step forward not before giving you a glance.

you nod and slowly perch yourself up, legs spread open to a distance, revealing everything to the man’s vision.

you weren’t oblivious to the stares the man would give you, sometimes those that linger longer than before. 

you have confronted him about it on a drunk nigh when he revealed his crush on you, you laughed it off and told him “there will be a much better person for you to be with.”

but it seems as if his fantasies had caved him in, when he heard you and seonghwa going at it just as he walked the hallways. he thinks it really was god’s wish when he decided to peek in.

seonghwa gives you a glance, as if asking you if that was okay. you nod slowly, and he goes to lean on the wall opposite you.

“san,” you call out and he lifts his head up, eyes wide like a deer. “come here.” 

he does what you say and stops when he’s standing between your legs, seonghwa clears his throat from the back.

“no kiss on the lips.”

you tilt your head to the side, meeting your hair fall over your shoulders prettily and it makes san bite his lips.

“only once san,” you say, “i know you want it, so here i am.”

“go on,” you and seonghwa say together.

he watches you with wide eyes, “are you sure?” you nod, tucking your leg to the side and it’s the way something in him awakens and he places his knee in-between your legs. 

he cups your jaw and lowers his lips to chastely kiss your cheek, “then i will follow every order my general gives me.” 

you don’t miss the way his eyes darken at that, and the way seonghwa taps his feet.

you smile when he hides his face in your hair, lips grazing your neck and you shiver when his lips touch the sweet spot right under your ear.

he places his lips softly over your skin, humming as he inhaled your scent. he already knows the marks done on your neck are by seonghwa, but it doesn’t stop him from sucking on your skin, to create his own mark on you.

you breath shakily when his knee moves closer to your center, his hand cupping your jaw while the other travels down to hold onto your boobs. 

he stifles back a moan of his down when your lips touch his cheek, his hands knead and squish the soft skin of your breasts. 

your lips let out broken whines that has him riling, he harshly sucks on your neck and you don’t stop the airy “san,” that leaves your lips, and he stops all together, when he feels your leg wrapping around his knee.

his eyes glance at your lips and you raise your eyebrow at him, lulling your head back, puckering your lips as if taunting him to touch him with his own.

he smirks but only dips his head lower to your breast and you whine when he moulds his mouth over your bud, circling his tongue all over and coating it with his saliva.

he sucks and hums against your sensitive nipple while you let out strangled moans that has his cock hardening in his pants. 

it’s only then when he finally looks up, the distance between you two barely any. he stares at your lips and his lips let out a mewl, he wants to taste you but the man standing behind with daggers in his eyes make him think otherwise.

“san,” your voice fills his ears, and he looks up, “kiss me.” 

you jut your chin to his, eyes challenging him to kiss you. his hand tightens around your jaw, “y/n...” 

as much as he wants to fulfil your wish, and his. he knows seonghwa would get mad, but the way you’re looking at him, puckering your lips to his.

he thinks, it’s a once in life chance.

san looks over his shoulders and sees seonghwa leaning against the wall, arms crossed.

san then looks over at you, and then back at seonghwa and mutters a. “sorry, seonghwa.” although not really sorry.

before crashing his lips onto yours, you gasp when he does so but it turns into a muffled moan. his tongue barely touches yours that he’s yanked off from you, your chest heaves up and down while seonghwa straightens the man.

asking him to leave, and so he does.

you feel seonghwa stare at you fixing your dress up, when you do stand up he grabs the back of your neck and slams his lips to yours.

“i told him not too,” he says between the kisses, using his tongue to swipe across your lips softly and you smile.  “mine, you understand that?” 

he pulls away and looks at you, “i’ll be right back.” 

“where?” you ask.

“i’ve to deal with san.” 

“when did that happen?” 

“i don’t know, all i know is we have to hurry because everyone is already there!” you stand there looking at seonghwa run around the room, flinging his tuxedo and tie on the bed while running gel through his hair.

when he dramatically pauses to look at you, “what, go get ready.” he walks to you, dressed in his silk pyjamas that fit him loosely.

“unless you want me to dress you?” he quirks up an eyebrow, bringing you to him by the use of his arm. “hm?” 

you smack his arm away, walking to where your clothes were as he panics in the background while you take your sweet time to pick out your stuff.

when you find yourself all dressed, seonghwa leans on the canopy bed frame watching you struggle to put a piece of earring in your ear.

he watches you lean over the vanity, curves on display in the black and white dress, your red lips mumbling some cursing which he finds unusually hot. 

a small frown on your face as you struggle with the earrings he brought, he pushes himself off and comes to stand right behind you. your back flush against his towering self, he holds onto your wrist, gently refraining you.

he grabs onto the earring and places it on the vanity, you watch him do so through the mirror. the strangely intimate atmosphere quickened the speed of your heart, his fingers fondle with your hair, eventually covering the ear without the accessory.

he then holds onto your forearms and squishes his cheek into yours, “you’re hot.” shifting his hands to your waist, which he squeezes slightly. 

your lips break out into a smile and grab his hands, turning around you wrap your arms around his neck. 

with a giggle you don’t know what comes over you, that you place a peck on his lips. “thank you mr. park, you’re not bad yourself.”

“thank you mrs. park, now, shall we?” he suddenly lowers his voice to a british accent and you pretend to fake a gasp, “of course.”

you two leave in laughter and return back tired, or more so you leaning on seonghwa’s shoulder while he supports you. giggling at some joke he said that has the two of you laughing loudly in the otherwise quiet palace. 

he asks if you’re tired and you nod against his shoulder, he smiles because in the end of the day, he knows you have a tiring job. how you’re so uptight and working with your entire body and brain, he loves that you’re like this with him.

comfortable, he likes the sound of that, a lot. 

it’s the only time he’s dared to run a hand through your hair, poke your cheek, make you laugh, tickle you, and then pick you up.

he knows you’re too tired to protest, and you give in. head laid on his chest and arms wrapped around his neck, he mumbles a few jokes softly in a attempt for you to keep awake.

every giggle or chuckle you let out has his heart beating and cheeks warming up, he looks down at you, nuzzling into his chest with a smile on your face. 

“stay awake for me y/n,” he hums, and you somehow nod through a sleepy phase.

when he enters the room, he walks straight to the bathroom. placing you onto the toilet seat while he goes to grab your pyjamas, when he returns, he sees you perching your head on the counter.

hair covering half your face and your eyes shut, he works quickly and comes to kneel by you. 

timidly he reaches out to brush your hair to the side, smiling at your cheek squishing against the counter he holds onto your face and taps your cheeks.

“wake up y/n,” he mutters, “baby?” 

you let out a whine when stands up, one hand interlinked with yours while the other uses a cotton swab with a remover on it to bring it to your face.

“close your eyes for me,” he settles himself between your legs, holding your chin as he wipes off all the makeup in one go. 

he then asks you to stand up and wash your face, you do as he says with closed eyes and he watches you with a worried glance when you stumble to the sink, washing your face successfully.

with a gasp from your lips, he plops you on the counter. smiling widely when you wrap your arms around his waist and it has butterflies erupting in his stomach, he likes this a lot. 

he likes the feeling of this solace, just you two alone in a warm atmosphere on a dark night, where it’s quiet, and the lightings comforting. when he slips out some puns and you whine in response, when he’s about to grab a little lotion, you ask him to wash his face too.

confused he does it nonetheless and you grab two out some lotion on your hands, “thank you for doing this hwa,” you mumble lazily, tapping the lotion in dots over his face before rubbing them across.

“it’s nothing,” he responds, puckering his lips when your fingers brush his lips. 

he repeats the same thing as you and then shoves you your set of pyjamas he bought recently, but instead of grabbing them you raise your arms, eyes closed and a smile on your face.

“what?” you say, “didn’t think i’d be like this?” 

he shakes his head with a smile before coming in closer to tie your hair up, he smirks at the proximity and it’s as if you can feel him smirking you slap his chest, and he feigns a pained groan.

he presses his lips gently on the apples of your cheek before backing away, “do you want me to change you?” you nod.

“what’s there to hide anyways,” you mumble lowly, “you’ve seen it all.” 

he hums in acknowledgment, grabbing the top and then draping it over you but not buttoning it fully. then, he reaches underneath the shirt to lift down your straps, making sure it’s comfortable enough when it’s all the way down.

you button the rest of your shirt up and wear your pants, not realizing the matching pyjamas you walk out the room and head for the couch.

“where are you going?” he interrupts, fixing the blanket right as he walks out.

“bed,” you point to the couch, making your way towards it but you’re pulled by the back of your collar to meet with seonghwa’s towering front. 

he dips his head to your ear, “but that’s your bed.” he nods towards the one he sleeps at and you swallow. 

“come,” he ushers you onto the soft bed and he walks to the other side. 

“will you be sleeping on the couch then?” you ask he and stops, “no? why would i, this is our bed.”

he stops, “we sleep here, together.” 

“-flip it like that— yeah, that’s it!” you yell, holding onto jongho’s arm with force. 

the man whines beside you and you stifle out a laugh, “why do you always pick on me,” he says, pouting.

“i’m not picking on you ho, you learn things quicker than others.” you explain, moving his arm to the right, “so you can help others understand better, when i’m not there.”

“so what you’re saying is, i take your position after you retire and whatever?” you smack the back of his head lightly and he once again whines.

“oh, where’s san?” you ask, motioning jongho to copy what you were doing.

“he’s-“ he pauses to take a breathe, “he’s gone back to eros, something came up about some people missing into thin air.”

you frown, “that’s weird,” telling jongho to take a break.

“you know what’s weirder? seeing your husband stand there looking at me as if he’ll kill me.” jongho points his finger at the man leaning on the column.

when you turn your head to him, he immediately straightens himself and you realize he’s in his pyjamas, hair all fluffy, eyes shinning and his cheeks puffy.

“he really woke up early to watch you practice?” hongjoong teases from the side and you smirk, shrugging your shoulders.

“mayhaps,” tossing your weapons to the side you bid them all a bye and an good morning before running to seonghwa.

a smile graces your lips when his eyes brighten, his arms are widespread, and you link yours with his. “let’s get you back to bed,” you mutter, dragging his sleepy yet clingy self back to your chambers.

you realize that this wasn’t the first time he’s woken up early to come and watch you practice, and whenever you’d ask him why his response only made your insides flip.

“why do you come to watch us practice every day?”

he’d grin and wrap his arms around you like a bear, “because the bed isn’t warm without you,” you’d laugh at his attempts to keep you by him whenever you had to leave.

sometimes during the dark hours of night, when the field is only illuminated by torches. seonghwa waits for you to finish the last off, two drinks in his hands, fresh and cold. 

when you’re done, the two of you walk to the roof of the castle. a balcony only the two of you use that showcases the entirety of the kingdom, with drinks in your hands, sitting on the wall with your feet hanging off in air.

chatting away about really anything, sharing glances that were not so awkward anymore. the breeze up high would be so fast, that the two of you have almost fell. 

poking each other where you’re ticklish the most, seonghwa sitting with his back faced in between your legs while you played with his hair. or when he’d grab those same hands and bring them to his lips, mumbling something that’d make you laugh.

in the matter of months, the relationship between you two had completely flipped. 

it’s as if you two know almost anything about each other, what makes you smack him, what makes you laugh, the jokes, the massages, and the spontaneous trips you two take in the middle of the night on your horses.

this one time when he had marched into your office, hands full of chips and other food. 

you lift your head up from the amount of paper works scattered on your desk, “oh? seonghwa, do you need anything?” you ask the man standing at your doorstep, a pout formed on his lips.

he’s standing there wearing his pyjamas that only he looks good in, you throw your pen away and lean back on your chair, crossing your arms.

he walks in with his hands placed by his waist, cheeks puffed. “why do you not pay attention to me?” he asks, and you have to stop yourself from cooing at him.

“i told you, there’s a few problems at the borders,” you pause to look at his face. “i need to finish a few paper works.”

“but you’ve been busy all week,” he lifts his hand up, “one, you’re always on the fields outside.” he brings down a finger.

“and then you loudly yell the marching chants that make me flinch!” he whines, and you laugh at his words.

“really? am i that loud?” you ask him, and he nods.

he suddenly stands up and does a aggressive salut, “soldiers!” he imitates your tone, “in line now, if you don’t get in the line, thirteen laps around the palace!” 

you laugh at the way he’s marching back and forth, imitating the scared looks of your soldiers whenever they have to run or when you yell at them.

or when you would walk in during evening to see him sitting on his bed, deep in thought. you pause, “are you alright?” you question, and he finally lifts his head up.

“no,” he responds.

you frown, “no?” 

he hums with a pout, and you walk near him and kneel down to his level, wondering what exactly had happened for him to be sitting all alone. 

“no,” he pauses, “but a kiss can help.”

you smack his knee and get up but he grabs your wrist and turns you to him, your body falls on him and he holds onto your waist as you two fall back slowly.

“please,” he pouts, puckering his lips and you laugh. shaking your head and then placing a small peck but he takes the chance to deepen it.

and considering how close you two have gotten, and the level of comfort thats between you two. 

seeing that, you and him have done it almost everywhere in the palace.

it usually ends up with you two being borderline caught by some older advisors who roam the halls often.

the ball party was where it all first started. 

“where- seonghwa the guests, they’re waiting!” 

“baby, i couldn’t care less about those guests,” he backs you up against the door, “i want to hear you, right now.” 

he’d growl and bunches up your dress, asking you to hold it while he traces his fingers over the lacy panties you had worn. 

you’d shiver when he would part the fabric to the side, feel his hot breath over your pussy before he’d dive his tongue in you. 

lapping, swirling and circling all over your clit, gathering all the juices you’d spill out, and using his tongue at different speeds. he’d hold onto your thighs, one leg over his shoulder and his mouth doing wonders. 

while your head was thrown back and your mouth was letting out breathy and airy moans of his names that you’re sure someone would hear. 

but that won’t stop him from using his slim and long fingers to curl up inside you, his face hidden in your neck while he fingered your already sensitive clit.

he’d place soft kisses over your neck while moaning your name out, you’d shut your eyes tightly when he would start to nibble on your earlobe and quickening his pace on your pussy. 

“that’s my good girl,” he groans against you, slowing down the speed of his fingers that’d only have you crying his name out in pleasure.

the hallways.

“i hate you so much,” you say between your laughs and he cages you between his arms, grabbing your hands to put them above your head.

“do you now?” he closes the distance between you two, “that’s not what you say when you’re screaming my name, hm?” 

your lips break out into a smile when he placed his softer ones on yours, he himself enjoying the bond you two had.

“you know if we keep doing this,” you gasp, “you’ll be a father in no time.”

he smirks, nuzzling into your neck. “you finally understood my intentions?”

his free hand moves down to grip your waist, and you whine when he does so, nibbling on your lower lip, swiping his tongue over your lips. 

the sound of lips smacking against one another rings the empty hallway, teeth clashing and muffled moans the two of you cry out in unison.

you move your hands to wrap around his neck, and his places his hands on the curve of your ass. pushing you to the wall while he weighs onto you, you would be daring enough to bite his lip which would have him tighten the grip on your ass.

your fingers play with with his hair, tugging on them which would have him humming against your lips. you two would only part away when the sound of footsteps start to come closer.

hurriedly pushing each other away and fixing your clothes and making a run for it to the other side of the palace, laughing and giggling over the thrill of being caught.

then there was the time when you would push him against the mirror, cupping his cheek and smashing your lips onto his. or when he would fiddle with your dress straps only to start placing feathery kisses up your neck, grabbing your chest and squeezing them through the fabric.

or when you’d take off his shirt and climb over him, hands grazing his stunning built yet large and lean body. straddling his waist while sucking on his skin, leaving your own mark on him.

where he would throw his head back, hands gripping your ass as you slowly grind over him. his lips would part, and low and deep moans would leave his mouth, you would bite your lips and start to move faster.

his eyebrows would touch, and he would bite his lips, you’d him against his skin, using your tongue and curling, twirling and swirling over his neck.

it would lead him to trail his hands under your shirt, glancing at you and then letting out a mewl when you hadn’t worn your bra, his larger hands coming to cup them. 

his fingers graze your hardened nipples, tweaking and rolling it while squeezing and kneading your perky doubles. and then trailing his hands down your stomach and under your pants, then he would flip you over and overtake you.

“you’re so wet,” he would coo in your ear and you’d nod, wrapping your arms around his broad shoulders. your own moan would follow when he’d curl his fingers around a particular bundle of nerves. 

your head would fall back on the bed, “all for me, hm? y/n, all for me?”

“f-for you,” you’d let out when the heat in you became unbearable and you came.

and that’s when you heard something you’ve never thought you would, “god, i love you so much y/n.” 

your head would fall back, chest heaving up and down heavily and your heart beating for an entirely different reason.

the next time you two are together was when he had to go away for a few days, you were extensively busy coming up with problems to fix the conflict that’s been looming over you. 

it was during nighttime when you had finally walked to your room, plopping onto your bed like a star fish. just as you try to close your eyes, a particular voice made a smile creep up your lips.

“hey,” seonghwa jumps onto the bed, making your body jump slightly. you lift open your eyes and see his face right above yours, a cheeky smile on his pink lips. 

“you’re back,” you mutter lowly, lifting your hands to cup his face. “how was the trip?”

he puckers his lips in a pout, “you’re not going to ask how i am?” he grabs your hand and brings it to his hair, and you start to play with them, he hums happily.

“okay, seonghwa,” you chuckle, “how are you?”

“i missed you,” he mumbles, “a lot.” 

he lowers his face, puckering his lips like a fish. “your smile, your lips, your laugh and you, i missed you baby.”

“i did too,” you shut your eyes, remembering how he would call you whenever he would get the time.  

how he would whine in your ear about wanting to see you already, and you’d ask him to focus on his work saying, “i’m right here hwa, go now, focus on your work.”

he snorts when you get up, ready to change out of your clothes and he spins on his back, leaning on his elbows. 

“you’re.. i get why you don’t express your undying love for me,” he starts, and you hum out a why.

“because you’re tsundere,” he pauses when he watches you unbutton your shirt through the reflection of the mirror, “or at least that’s what the teens there said.”

he watches you chuckle, “you talked about me to the kids there?” nodding he positions himself with his head on the bed frame. 

“they said you were like that, you don’t show your love for me.” you take off your shirt, leaving you in a tank top that makes him lick his lips. 

“oh yeah?” you ask him, quietly turning around. 

“...do you love me?” he asks, and you told your head to the side, a small smile on your face.

his wide eyes bore into yours as you come to sit on the bed, or more so on him, straddling his waist which he welcomed happily. already having his arms around your hips. 

you hold onto his hands, fiddling with his fingers, the one where his band sat. you lift your head to meet his eyes, “i’m not hesitant to show my affection to you, i-i just haven’t felt that way for someone, so this is new to me.”

you caress his hands quietly and he watches you in anticipation, lifting his hand to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. 

you let out a sigh, and hesitatingly ask. “do you...love me?” 

he smiles slightly, “i do,” he breathes in. 

“a lot,” he continues in his deep voice, “you make me happy.”

he wants to say so much more, that you make him feel giddy, have butterflies erupt in his stomach whenever he’s by you. the stares you give him, the ones full of tease and playfulness that makes him laugh in the most inappropriate places.

how you tap your thighs and spread them, and he’d press his lips into a thin line, trying not to break out into a smirk. or when you back him up to a wall, teach him how to fight by holding his hands or how to work a sword.

but by seeing the look on your face, he knows you know everything he’s thinking. you’ve always been observant, so he knows for a fact that you’re probably reading his mind right now. 

“then you should know my answer,” you say, giving him a smile that makes his heart swell. 

both of you can’t believe that this is where you two ended up, from a loveless marriage to one that’s full of love and affection to the point no one has to stay it verbally. 

“let me hear it then,” he mutters, moving his hands from your hips to intertwine with yours. “say it once in for all.” 

you look down quietly, finding it hard to form the words together. you know you want to say something, but you can’t seem to form them together, instead all you do is stare into his eyes.

he smiles, and in seconds he has you flipped onto the bed. both of you rolling on it with a grunt, you stare into each other’s eyes contently. 

ignoring the surrounding and communicating through your expressions, you look down at his lips and make the move to peck them, moving away slowly and placing your leg over his torso.

he grins at your actions and brings you closer so that your heads resting on his chest, “i didn’t know you were shy too,” he mumbles, and you bite the insides of your cheek. 

hiding your face in his chest, you fist his shirt with your hands. you maybe be all dominant with your personality, but you’re yourself with him. 

he wraps his arm around your shoulders and sighs, tucking your head under his chin. he then remembers something, leaving your hold for a second and searching something in his drawer.

“what’re you looking for?” you ask out of curiosity and all he responds with is a “surprise.”

“actually, meet me tomorrow night at the gazebo you cornered me at.” he says and you nod. 

“if you try to kill m-“

“y/n, no, baby, sleep.” 

you stare at yourself in the mirror, dressed in a white ensemble that was requested by seonghwa for whatever he’s going to do tonight, and you hope it isn’t him killing you. 

you know he’s standing by the gazebo waiting patiently for you, but you can’t help but try and look a bit presentable before walking out towards the gardens. 

hands sweaty, and heart pounding as each and every step you take roots nervousness in your gut.

when you see him standing there with his back faces to you, in an all-black fit, you can’t help but look at him in amuse. the way his larger and built body is shown off by the clothes sticking to him.

shaking your thoughts away, you call out for him. “seonghwa,”

he turns around with a smile, you swallow before walking to him, hands neatly folded behind your back. 

“you came,” he says, snaking an arm around your waist. 

“of course,” you mumble back, letting him hold you. he then points at the corner; your eyes follow his and they immediately widen.

“seonghwa, t-that’s stunning.” your lips part in surprise and he smiles, ushering you forward by the small of your back.

your eyes fall upon the fluffy blanket he has laid on the ground, a small basket near the corner, pillows scattered around the blanket and two bottles of wine. 

“you’re insane,” you mumble quietly, tightening your hold onto his shirt. you hear him chuckle, pulling you to sit by him on the blanket.

your eyes shine when they fall over the water, the atmosphere was weirdly intimate. you two sat by the running water under the moonlight, sitting right by one another in silence.

the air sifted through your hair, playing with it slightly. “do you like it?” he asks, nervousness washing over him.

you nod twice, “i do, oh my god,” you pause. “i do, i love it.” he breaks out into a smile, rubbing a hand over your back.

he grabs you by the waist and settles you in between his legs, your insides flip when your back hits his broad front.  

you lean back and he wraps his arms around you, placing a peck on your temple. you smile and place your hands over his, intertwining them together.

“do you know why i brought you here?” he asks, rocking you side to side.

you shake your head and feel your heart swell at his low voice humming, “there’s something i’ve been wanting to give you,” 

his fingers fiddle yours when you feel him slide the black ring out, you watch him quietly slide it over to your right hand. 

he then reaches behind his back and pulls a velvet box, your smile falters and he uses both his hands to open it in front of you. 

“remember when i went out to ecuador?” he says, “i bought this for you.”

he opens the box fully and your eyes widen, “seonghwa, why?”

your eyes fall upon the stunning ring he shows off to you, it’s a light emerald diamond sitting nearly on a thin silver band. 

he takes your fingers in his and slides it on your ring finger, “i know when we first got married, we didn’t care about one another.”

“in fact, we both didn’t even want the wedding.” he pauses to recollect, “it looked like a fairytale but there were no sincere emotions from us.”

“i wanted to restart it,” he says, squishing his cheek against yours. “so i brought a new one, the one i chose.” 

your eyes fall upon the ring in your hands, “will you marry me, again, this time with all the happiness?” 

you hear his voice falter, and you smile, turning your body around fully. “do i have any choice?” you ask with a sheepish smile when his eyes meet yours.

he chuckles, “well not really because you’re already mine,” and you grin. “but for formality sakes, will you, the y/n, marry me, solidifying our marriage once again?”

you shake your head at his silliness, “of course, you idiot.” you say between giggles.

he then pulls you to his chest and you both fall back unexpectedly, letting out a yelp when falling but he grabs you before you could hit the ground. 

you lay on top of him, his hands firmly resting on your hips. he looks down at you and smirks, brushing your hair back from your face.  

“did you have a good flight?” he teases, and you sit up right on his waist, hands resting on his stomach. 

he raises his eyebrows, poking his tongue against the wall of his cheek. tapping his hands on your hips before bringing them behind his head. 

you then lean front and place a peck on his lips, surprising him. “thank you,” he smiles at that but that smile quickly turns into a groan when you shift on him.

he grips your hips at that, making you swallow when the colour of his eyes darken. “what’re you doing?” he asks, voice airy and strained. 

you look at him in confusion, “nothing?” and he bites his lower lip, sitting up right so now he’s directly in front of you. 

“oh yeah?” he quips, a smirk growing on his lips as he inches closer.

you shift once again and it lets out a low growl, and that’s when you realize what he means because you feel something poke at you.

you suck in a breath and try to get up, but he’s got his hands over you, holding your thighs. you feel his stare searching your face and then landing on your lips, and then a little lower.

he finds himself staring at the strap of your dress that’s fallen down, he swallows he sees that you aren’t wearing a bra and that he can see the trace of your boob and the hardened nipples poking through the material.  

“i-it’s cold,” you whisper, feeling his stare. he lifts his hand up to play with the strap, fiddling with it before he tugs it down.

he does the same to the other strap, fiddling with it and the tugging it down. enough so that he can see the top your breasts and he looks at you, your eyes already onto his.

his fingers graze them through the dress, and he lowers his mouth to place a soft kiss, you hiss at the way he licks at the skin right after.

his large hands come to grab your breasts, softly squeezing them and your thighs twitch. making the man grit his jaw, when you move your dress rides up and it leaves him to little to no imagination.

he brushes his lips over your neck, and you shiver, he bunches your hair to the side and attaches his lips right under your ear.

you whine when he pokes his tongue out, the mood changing from all nice and fluffy one to a one that’s full of desire.

“seonghwa,” you let out shakily, he hums.

“let me take care of you too,” you wrap and arm around his shoulder, lowering him to the ground and bringing your hand to his crotch.

he says something incoherent and then proceeds to unbuckle his pants, you help him lower them before quirking an eyebrow at him.

“now who’s in a hurry?” you say, tracing his waistband that makes him twitch.

you chuckle and bring his briefs down, running a hand down his cock. he twitches when you do so, eyes shutting and eyebrows meeting.

you then take your own panties off and take a hold of his wet cock in your hands; he groans and grunts at the pressure and rolls his eyes back when he feels you sink down him slowly. 

you hang open your mouth at the silent cry of pleasure, hands landing beside his face to support your body and his hands landed in your ass, moving slowly around him. 

your lips brushed against his neck and you sat straight, hands on his toned stomach as you moved up and down, your breasts bouncing with the impact and seonghwa gets a hold on your breasts, tweaking and rolling them. 

you moan breathily as your legs shuddered at the immense amount of pleasure coming over you in a short time. hearing his cry for you name has you going faster, “y/n- fuck.” 

you hum before leaning over to place your lips over his, muffling his own moans. his hands bring down your dress to your waist as you kept on getting him to a new high.

“i-i’m close,” he responds, voice strained, and you moaned at the sensation and it only makes you go faster, and he eventually comes inside you. 

you pull yourself out of him and plop your sweat lined body next to his, chests heaving up and down as the two of you breathed out loudly. 

“let me help you now baby,” he turns to hover over you, bunching your dress to your waist and you let out a whine of his name.

he brings his cock and lines it down your wet folds, he enters in slowly and you hear the wetness at the friction.

he holds your arms beside your head and rolls his hips into yours, “h-hwa, what if someone c-comes!”

he smirks, “let them baby, let ‘em see us.” he groans, thrusting into you as you moaned out his name as quietly as you could.

“louder y/n,” he demands, “let them hear.”

and as if on time, he does a particular thrust that made you cry his name out loud. his hair falls over his eyes, ticking over your forehead slightly. 

he watches your face contorting to the pleasure, and it riles him to go faster, grunting and grinding to you. loving the way, you say his name and the way it rolls of your tongue with a hint of airiness at the end.

you eyes roll back and your back arches to his, grinding at his own pace before falling back and letting him take control. 

“who’s are you?” he growls, and you wail your head to the side, responding with yours to which he says, “that’s my good girl.” 

before he stops, breathing heavily and pulling it out of you. slumping on you and then braking you to his chest, “i love you.” he says and you nod against his chest.

“me too,” he snorts and then smacks your ass at the answer you gave.

“general, what’s the deal at the border?” you hear yunho ask, mingi standing by him.

“i, i think someone’s scheming something against us.” you look up from the number of files, “check at the soldiers who patrol the border, see anything suspicious and immediately report that to me.”

“why?” jongho buts in, and you rub your temples.

“because,” you pause, and they all stare at you in anticipation.

“we might be going at war.” 

“shit.” wooyoung speaks from the back, “san isn’t back eros yet, the situation there is worse but if we had him, and even if there’s a war, if san was here, we would win no matter what.”

“well yeah, he is a literal demon reincarnated.” hongjoong snorts and you laugh, “but, me and yunho will go look over at the border.” 

“i’ll look over at the hidden entrances of eden,” mingi exclaims, “might find something there.”

“wooyoung, help me by finding out just who the enemy could be with you connections.” your remark and he offers a salute from the couch.  

“and please,” you stop wooyoung, “don’t go seducing someone.”

jongho snorts at you, “says that one who does it everywhere.”

you throw a paper weight at the man, picking your tongue out. “ew please, i hear it sometimes too.”

“go away!” you yell, cheeks warming up. “you’re dismissed!” 

“sheesh,” mingi says and you glare at him, watching all of them hurry out. 

just as they leave, you hear them whistle in the hallways and then the door opens. revealing a smiling seonghwa, eyed wide and cheeks puffed.

you clear your throat and stand up, “h-hey,” 

he walks to you with a smile and wraps his arm around you, “hey baby, look!” his wide eyes bore into yours, showing the bouquet of red flowers. “for you milady.”

you laugh at him, squishing his cheeks before walking behind your desk. 

“ah,” he starts, “i might have to leave for a trip soon, something with a few kingdoms needing help.”

you nod, “alone?”

he nods, pressing his lips into a thin line. “dad might want me to take the guys, jongho would be staying if that what you’re asking.”

he comes to lean on your desk, “when will you be leaving?”

“tomorrow morning,”

“for how long?”

he sighs, “i don’t know.” 

you pause, watching his face turn into a frown. you reach forward to take his hands into yours, rubbing your thumbs over his skin.

“i’ll wait, go do your duties.” you say, “our future king.” 

he snorts and you smile, “i’ll be back super quick, i promise.” he extends his pinky at you, shaking your head you joined them anyways.

he grins and his eyes turn into crescents, he decides to spend the entire day with you. eating your favourite dishes, then playing nonsensical jokes, him helping you with half your work also the only time you two were serious.

he’d constantly keep having his hands somewhere on you, to which you at first would shove it away, but now you’re more lenient. 

and so when the day ended, you were left with the sentence he kept repeating over and over again. 

“i’ll be back soon, wait for me.” 

when seonghwa left for a trip, you expected it to be short and sweet. it was supposed to be short, but then it quickly escalated to one week, to two weeks and now to five extra weeks. 

you hadn’t seen the man in almost one and a half month, except only hearing his voice through the telephone in your office and the bedroom. 

it’s as if he went back to the navy again, but in reality, he was off to visit the kingdom’s outside empire. 

the ones who had fallen because of the low economic growth and high unemployment rates, to take care of that, the heirs of each kingdom had been sent off for aid.

leaving only, you and jongho in the palace, teaching the new trainees the basic skills. which was mostly resulting in jongho bossing them over until you came in and told jongho to stop bossing them around.

you had taken over the responsibility to fill in for seonghwa’s position as an heir in eden as well. doing his work while conversing with him over the phone as he instructs you on what to do and what not too.

along with that, you were barely leaving your office. sometimes even spending the nights in there, sleeping on the couch because your room felt too lonely. 

the warm interior of your office gave you the warmth that was similar to seonghwa’s, the work had been piling up for you to sign and read every time you would wake up. 

and it had been like this for an entire month, you working, waking up early for your training sessions, eating, getting into the palace work, reading documents sent in by the king, switching to go watch over the soldiers outside, then eat, look over a few files before eventually passing out on your chair.

resulting in you waking up with a neck cramp, but hey, at least you got majority of the work done.  

when you finally sit down on the couch for the first time today, it doesn’t last long as jongho enters the room with a tray of tea and food. 

“for you,” he says, placing the test on the table beside you before walking out to his own room.

“thanks, ho.” you tell him, a hand reaching to grab the tea to which you gasped quietly after tasting. 

you lean back on your chair, eyeing the room until your eyes land on the telephone and immediately a smile creeps up your lips and you reach out for it. 

your fingers trace the phone softly until punching in the numbers, the number that he calls you from. 

you bring it your ear and wait for the bell to go, to hear seonghwa’s deep voice that made you curl your toes. hear him greet you happily even though you know he’s dead tired, but when you got no response from the other side you placed the phone down and got up. 

grabbing a few papers before leaning you front on the table, reading them through while munching on the treats jongho brought.

but that doesn’t last long, because only five minutes later you hear the door crack open and a pair of arms snaking your waist. 

you fall back because you immediately who it is, the expensive scent all too familiar to your nose. 

“hey baby,” 

you hear his low voice rumble in your ear, “hi, seonghwa.” 

he wraps around your waist tightens and he buries his face in your neck, sending a tingly feeling all over your body that you’ve missed. 

“how are you? tired?” he nods against your neck and you reach back to ruffle his hair a little. 

“never tired for you,” he places a peck on your neck and spins you around by your waist. 

when your eyes meet his, the speed of your heart doubles. he’s standing there with a shit eating grin on his face that you’ve come to love, black hair carefully pushed back and a smile that has your insides flipping.

he takes the papers from your hand and chucks them away, your wide eyes flickering to them as you try and grab them, but he beats you to it.

instead, he grabs your arms and places then around his neck, jerking you closer. “you must be tired, let’s go to bed.” you whisper out, but he shakes his head, eyes falling down in your lips.

he towers over you completely, he looks down at you with softness and yet playfulness that shoots you warm ness to your face, feeling a thick tension building in the air as you stare at each other.

“i missed you,” you nod shakily, inhaling sharply when he brings his hand to tuck your hair behind.

“i-i did too,” you stutter out when he pushes his weight on you, and you let out the smallest of whines that as him clenching his jaw. 

his minty breath tickles over your lips, “hm?” he asks, tilting his head tauntingly. 

you don’t hold back the breathy exhale when he swiped his thumb over your lower lip, you stare at him while his eyes are over your lips.

“did you know how much i missed you?” his other hand lowering the band of your pants, “can i show you how much i missed you, hm? what i would think about doing when you weren’t by me? when i couldn’t fall asleep and missed you?”

your breathing wavers and you unbuttons your pants, “did you know how many times i had to get off at the thought of my pretty little baby?” 

“seonghwa,” you say, voice coming out airy and strained when he brings his other hand down to push down your pants slowly, revealing you to the cold. 

he hums, dipping his head to your neck and you suck in a breath. “you know much i wanted to touch you but i couldn’t?” 

the atmosphere darkens with every bit of list and desire, his eyes are dark and intense as he stares at you biting your lip.

he places a soft peck under your ear, and you hold onto his forearm, “how much i wanted to hear your pretty voices crying my name?” 

you could only let out a moan at his words, desperate and whiney that has him smirking. “tell me you thought of me,” he grips on your waist, slowly running a hand down your leg.

“i did,” you inhale sharply when he wraps your leg around his torso. “i missed you so much, you had no idea.” 

there’s a strong feeling of arousal pooling in between your kegs and you can’t help but stare at him. 

he holds back a groan of his own and it takes him a second to push your arms back and slam his lips over yours. a moan escapes you when you finally feel his lips after days of nothing.

the way your lips mould together like puzzles, so desperate and so whiny. it’s the way your lips smash against one another, battling not for dominance but for the feeling you two have missed.

the sound of teeth clashing, lips smacking and small mewls and moans echo the room. seonghwa grips onto your hips firmly, planting you on your desk. you let out a noise of surprise and he grins against your lips.

softly yet rhythmically moving together, never letting the other part away even a moment. your arms reaching up behind his neck and deepening the kiss, lips moving in sync with each other, groaning softly when he bites on your lip and you tug on his dark locks. 

you have to push him away to breathe out loud, chest heaving up and down and he rests his forehead on yours.

“god, i missed you so much,” he whines, pressing his lips on your neck. trailing down to your collarbone while placing open mouthed kisses all long.

he grabs onto your shirt, and slowly starts to unbutton it, while you find yourself staring at his lips. pecking them every now and then until you hear him moan when his eyes land on your breasts.

you bite your lips, probably hard enough to draw blood when he licks his lips and cups your breasts. growling at the softness and the fact that you were braless, his large hands squish your skin and you through your head back.

he swallows and kneads and pinches with both his hands and you let out his name like a mantra, “you’re stunning,” he whispers before lowering his lips to mould on your breast.

while he sucks and circles his tongue relentlessly on your boob, his other hand tweaks and rolls your hardened and sensitive nipples. 

eliciting cries for his name, “h-hwa-“ you moan out when he delivers a harsh suck on your skin, pulling away with a pop. 

a wave of heat forms in your panties that has you grinding on table, his lips are onto your boobs, placing soft feathery yet ticklish kisses all over. he growls out how much of a pretty baby you’ve been as he continues his sweet torture.

when he feels you grind against him, he throws his head back. watching your face through his hooded eyes, how your mouth hung open and how quickly you bit down on your lip.

your eyebrows crossing as your eyes shut tight, his hands then trail down to your stomach, massaging it softly before caressing his fingers over your clothed clit.

“seonghwa,” you whine, feeling wetness starting to firm in your pants. 

you shake when he growls, hands reaching for his shirt and throwing it away, your fingers grazing down his toned body while he plays with the band of your black panties.

he lets out a noise from the back of his throat when you lick a stripe down his neck, slowly and feverishly. 

“i need you,” he grits, “right now baby, right now.” 

it takes him a second to push you back on the desk, bribing your pants down leaving you only in your panties as you leaned up on your elbows.

he traces his fingers slowly over your panties and when he feels the wetness, he lets out a groan of your name. “y/n...” 

and you nod at that, letting him slowly drag your underwear down to your ankles.

“fuck, baby.” he lets out a whine when he wyes your wetness, “i wanna fuck you so bad,” you fail to not let out a pathetic whine.

he trails a finger down your folds, and you shake, “i want to feel you, make you cry and moan my name out again and again and then fill you up with me, all of me.”

you let out a broken whimper when he kneels down, his hot breath fanning your inner thighs before it reaches you wet folds.  

he places soft kisses and long licks where he twirls his tongue on your inner thighs before he slips in his finger and presses his mouth onto your clit.

his hot mouth breathing against already wet and aching cunt, “seonghwa...” you whimpered pathetically, clutching the table as he licked a strip down your folds making you shudder underneath him. 

you let out a loud cry of his name when he does so, feeling him pump his finger in and out so slowly at your legs start to weaken.

it feels like it’s been forever since you’ve felt him, and he feels the same because he eats you out like he’s been starving. his long tongue circles and sucks on the bundle of nerves while you let out strangled moans that has his cock hardening in his pants. 

“so pretty,” he says before diving his tongue in making you let out a moan for his name as he moved in and out of you skillfully. alternating from long slow licks to small circles with his fingers to his tongue lapping sinfully against your clit until he's had his fingers easily sliding in and out of you.

you arch your back to his fingers and you feel the immense coil of heat starting to become unbearable, you lips moan out a “seonghwa,” which he hums in response against your pussy, and you feel the vibrations.

“i-“ 

“come, come on me.” he says and almost immediately you find yourself coming off the high, he’s quick with his tongue and licks out every juice that comes out you.

you fall back on the desk, breathing out heavily and shutting your eyes. seonghwa stands up and you hear the unbuckling of his pants and you can’t help but let out a chuckle.

“you’re so needy,” you mock him, rising up to grab the back of his neck and bringing your lips to his.

he gets rid of his pants and briefs; you wrap your legs around his waist and he groans at his own sensitivity. you smile against his soft and now swollen lips, tasting yourself faintly on his tongue. 

he holds onto your waist, squeezing it slightly. “desk or couch,” he asks in-between the kiss, and you whisper out a couch.

and he immediately picks you up, your naked bodies grazing again one another, emitting warmth that contrasted with the otherwise chilly room.

you giggle once he lays you on the couch and finds himself chuckling, “why are you like this,” asking about how you’re laughing at him being serious.

“because,” you reach to cup his cheeks, “it’s you.” 

he smiles, the one with dimples. and moves his lips to your neck, you close your eyes and let him roam around. 

his lips brush against the shell of your ear and you shiver when his deep and gruff voice fills them. “let me fill you up y/n,” he pleads, and your heart rate accelerates.

“fill you up,” he brushes his lips against your cheeks, “fill you up so good, all of me, hm?”

he lowers his voice, “let me fuck you so bad, so you’re crying my name out. i want everyone to know how good i make you feel,” 

you nod and reach for his cock, that’s not already dripping with pearls of pre cum over his pink tip. you whine at the vision and pushes you back, pumping a hand down his length he settles between your thighs.

“fuck me seonghwa,” you say and his eyes darken, “fill me up, with you, only y-“

your next sentences are muffled into cries when he lines his cock against your clit, teasing the tip up and down before entering you inch by inch. 

feeling yourself stretch out at his thick length, he pounds into you at a fast speed as if he’s never done before, your body moving against the bed as he grunts and groans and grinds himself into you.

your head falls back, mouth hung open as he starts to roll his hips into yours and you let out a cry that could only be described as borderline pornographic. 

“seonghwa- you feel so- so good.” you let out as he continues to go at different speeds, the room filling with his own loud moans.

“f-fuck,” your eyes roll back when he hits that certain spot in you, again and again, you let out a cry, throwing your head back on the pillow while releasing moans and whimpers of his name in pleasure. 

he drops his head down to your shoulder, burying his face into your neck. “i’m so close baby, hold on for me hm?” you wrap and arm around his shoulder, throwing your own head back at the pleasure.

he whines and groans into you when he feels you clench around him and he pounds into you again, fast and hard and deep and you let a tiny, pleasurable moan as the heat in you becomes unbearable and you came once again. 

“i-i’m close,” he responds only seconds later, voice strained, and you moaned at the sensation and it only makes him go faster and he eventually comes inside you.

he pulls out you carefully, watching you wince at the sensitivity. sweat lines both your bodies and he slumps down on you, wrapping his arms around you. 

he pecks your forehead, nose and then he’s about to place on your lips that the two of you roll off the couch and right onto the floor. 

you both fall into fits of laughter and he pulls you close to him, sighing happily when he turns to you. pointer finger poking your cheek and you open your eyes, staring at him with a playful glint.

you two pause and then burst out laughing, the room echoing with your happiness. he bites at your ear and you squeal, slapping his chest.

when he rolls off of you and slides to your side, both of you lay in the middle of the room, naked. hair spread on the carpet below, sighing and humming happily.

“are we planning to-“

“i love you.”

you bite the insides of your cheek, looking the opposite way when you feel his stare on you. he leans up hurriedly and hovers his face over yours, you shyly avoid his face until he holds into your jaw softly.

“w-what did you say?” he asks, eyes wide and sparkly, “say it again.” 

when you stare at him intently and don’t say anything, he taps your cheek. “say it again y/n, you have no idea how much i’ve been dying to hear those words.”

you smile playful, bringing your hands to his cheeks. “i said i love you, silly.”

he tries to smile, “say it again,” 

“i love you,” you tilt your head, and the glint in his eyes switch.

“again,” he lowers himself.

“i love you.”

“one more time,” 

“i love you.”

“jus-“

“i take it ba-“ 

he doesn’t let you finish your sentence, his lips slam onto yours. “don’t, don’t ever take it back.” 

“understand?” he asks, and you nod.

“understood sir.” you grin, and he laughs.

“i’ll make you happy, i swear.” he mumbles as he hides his face in your hair, you smile and shut your eyes. 

“and i’ll protect you, i swear.”

you run down to your room, leaving the meeting about the war. the war that at this point was confirmed, yunho and hongjoong had found a loophole when they visited the border. 

only confirming every suspicion, you had, the enemy wasn’t in any of the eight kingdoms. but instead, outside from those kingdoms who seonghwa had gone to help at his last trip a few months ago. 

from wooyoung’s special sources, he’s found out exactly when they will attack. exactly two days from now.

it felt like a betrayal, but you knew something else was up but that’s not what you were thinking about right now. 

instead, a bigger thing was on your mind. 

you walk out the bathroom, one hand on your stomach and the other running through your hair. 

“yeosang,” you squeak, “are you a hundred percent sure?” 

both you and yeosang decided to talk in private, him joining you as you ran out the meeting. which only confirmed his suspicions over your habits these days, he’s leaning on the wall opposite of yours. 

hands crossed over his chest while a small smile plays on his lips, he nods slowly, and you shut your eyes.

“you’re feeling it aren’t you?” he muses, he runs a hand through his blond locks and a smile creeps up his lips. 

your mouth drops and you could feel you heart hammering against your rib cage, swallowing you look up to him walking towards you.

“yeosang, we’re at a war,” you realize, “t-this can’t be happening right now, i have to go fight in the war in two days and i can’t do it like this!” 

your outburst is understandable, yeosang not only sympathizes with you but also is excited about how a new change will affect both you and seonghwa.

“y/n, i know-“ he pauses, “you should tell seonghwa.” 

you sit down on your bed and yeosang exits the room, a sigh slips down your lips and you fall back onto the bed. your hair falling prettily around you, slowly you trail your hand over your stomach and bite your lip.

you smile but it fades away quickly, the threat of enemies attacking the kingdom any time in the coming two days scares you. but this time it scares you for a different reason and you’re angry, frustrated and irritated even because the timing of everything wasn’t right. 

you shot up from your bed and started to march down the hallway, ignoring the guards who immediately shoot a salute as you ran down the hall.

once you reached seonghwa’s office, you burst open the door and the man inside flinches, dropping his files. 

his wide eyes soften when they land on you. “oh, bab-“

“you!” your finger points at him and he raises his eyebrows as you walk towards him, backing him up to the wall behind, his hands coming up by his head. 

you grab his collars, “you, you! you finally got what you’ve been trying to do.” 

he tilts his head, eyes confused. “and that is?”

“i’m pregnant and y-“

“you what,”

you pause, your shoulders dropping. his face drops and you swallow, “are yo-“

“i knew it!” he interrupts, yelling and then he cups your face, he’s got the biggest smile, his pearly whites show, and he smiles so big it almost eyes are hidden.

he presses his lips against yours, again and again. wrapping his arms around you he lifts you and twirls you around, “p-put me down!” 

“oh my god, oh my god, we’ll be parents oh god.” he whispers, placing his forehead on yours. “i love you so much, you have no idea.” 

he keeps pressing his lips onto yours repeatedly, you can feel him smile against them as he whispers i love you’s in between. 

you cup his face and force him to look at you, the pad of your thumb rubs near his eyes, wiping away the tears pooling around his eyes. 

“how long?” he asks.

“one and a half months.” 

he’s got a pout on his face and his eyebrows are almost touching, something you’ve noticed he does whenever he’s about to cry.

“why are you crying?” you ask, and he cups your hands with his, pecking your hands. 

“you just gave me the biggest gift of my entire life, how can i not cry?” he mumbles against your hands, eyes pouring out fat tears and he sniffles. you laugh at his words and pull him into a hug.

he immediately wraps his around your waist, burying his face in your neck deeper, he places soft kisses over your shoulder. you giggle and wrap your hands around him tighter, you could feel his rapid heartbeat syncing with yours.

he kneels down and taps your stomach with wide eyes, once you pull back though, your face falls and he notices right away. “seonghwa, what about the war?” 

he visibly stiffens and grips on your waist, “no, no, no!” he whispers, “you’re not going out there to fight.” 

“seonghwa,” you grasp his hands, “i have to fulfil my duty, i-i’ll put extra shields around myself so no-“

“your duty is our kid growing in your stomach,” he interrupts, moving his hand to your stomach.

you sigh, “i have to follow through my orders with the soldiers! after all, we’re fighting for your land.”

“my title or my status or land doesn’t mean a god damn thing if the only thing i’ve ever wanted would be taken away from me.” this time he holds onto your shoulders and shakes you slightly.

you shake your head, “seonghwa, i know, but my job is to protect you and everyone who lives under eden.”

he leans closer, “i’ve vowed to protect you y/n, twice, and now with our kids,” he spared a glance at your stomach. “we’ll go to war, i’ll run it.”

“seonghwa you can’t, you have no experience in what i’m in.” you pause, “granted you were in the navy, but this, this is different hwa.” 

his eyes soften at the use of his name that you only ever called in more intimate moments, “i don’t care baby, if it means you two would be safe, i’ll go.” his intertwines his fingers with yours. 

“besides,” he dramatically flips his hair, “at least i can win sword fights.” 

“hwa,”

“trust me.” 

you stare at him in worry, considering what you had found out just last night. but when he pouts, you chuckle at him and he pulls you into his embrace, “fine,” you sigh, “you can go, but only on one condition.” 

he smiles and caresses your hair, “and that is?”

“i need the father of our baby to be alive,” you bury further in his chest, “if you die, i will go find you and then kill you myself.”

he laughs and you feel his chest vibrate, “only the father of our child? what about your husband?” he teases, and you lightly smack his back. 

“i want both of them back.” 

seonghwa had been going around, yelling and screaming loudly to everyone in the palace that you were pregnant. you had to hide your face behind him as he told away with a big smile on his face, his parents were all ecstatic and immediately showered you with presents and blessings.

“you’re really excited, huh?” you grin, fixing the blanket of your bed. glancing swiftly at seonghwa sitting on the couch in his night wear, supporting a book in his hand.

“you have no idea,” you stop and lean on the bed frame, your eyes go over his face and smile. 

he sees you staring and puts his book to the table beside him, he spreads his thighs wide, tilts his head and then pats his thighs at you. 

wiggling his eyebrows at you, “your throne, my queen.” and then pats his thighs again, you snort out loud and walk to your side of the bed.

he joins with a pout quickly and sits beside you, a hand around your shoulder, he presses his lips against your temple. 

you sigh and lean onto him more, eyes closing slowly. his hand caresses your shoulder while his lips maintain near your face. 

“do you think we would have a boy or a girl,” you mumble against him, and he brings his hand over to your hair. 

“it doesn’t matter,” he says, and you nod with a smile, “but, i do hope whoever is in there is a boy.” 

you open your eyes at that and tilt your chin up, “and what if it’s a girl?”

he smiles, “if it’s a girl, i don’t think i would have the heart to marry her away.” your heart swells at his words, he pulls you into a hug and stays like that until your eyes start to fall heavy.

“i love you,” 

he whispers and when you don’t respond, he assumes you’ve fallen asleep. smiling he gets himself comfortable around you and closes his eyes. 

“i know.” 

the next two days were intense, even the word intense was an understatement. everyone in the palace had been moving around every day, from the workers in the palace and those in the kingdom. all and every soldier available and those who had retired were in the field practicing.

you could hear the swords clashing against one another, grunts and groans of soldiers as they battled each other. every field was packed with men, the archery field, the open grounds and even the main property of the palace. 

you’re walking around and guarding the rest, helping them here and there while teaching them how to do the right thing. 

seonghwa and you had been monitoring everything, last two nights and days were spent in your office. planning out everything that would lead to eden winning, rearranging soldiers at different points around the battlefield, cannons, bombs and even artillery were numbered.

both of you wanted the least damage and had even sent a letter to the rivalry group for a better understanding to mend things out, but once they denied and initiated war by killing a few of your men. 

both of you had no choice but to run the war, everything had to be perfect, for the kingdom and for you three. 

and now, all of you stand together in lines. seonghwa stands left of you while yunho stands to the right, both his parents are standing at the balcony a level above.

“i know this is hard everyone,” seonghwa starts, “your general won’t be able to join you in this, so i’ll be taking the position.” 

you step forward, collectively gathering their attention. “i want every single one of you back,” you say, eye glancing to every corner. 

“if one of you is missing,” you pause, “i’ll come to the field myself and find you, and then i’ll kill you.” 

a roar of laugh echoes the grounds, and it lessens the weight on you, as the rest get busy you turn to your battalion. 

“you all better come back, be careful and use your mind.” you tell them, and they respond with a smile, “and you,” you turn to seonghwa who raises his eyebrows.

“don’t go overboard! don’t do useless things-“

“i won’t!” he whines.

“i know you will,” you sigh and he chuckled before coming to place his hands around your neck, “remember how at south there will be people there, list-“

“i know, mom.” he says and leans down to press his lips onto yours, you hear the low ‘ooh’s’ of the crowd and pull back. 

“i’ll be right back, wait for me okay?” he says with a grin and you manage to smile back, he then nods at everyone else who start to make their way out the palace grounds. 

you watch them leave the grounds and you swallow thickly, instinctively placing a hand on your stomach. a sickening feeling starting to loom over you, and you turn around to yeosang standing there.

he nods at you and the two of you walk to his quarters, “are you sure?” he asks, handing you your armour that you wear on top of your clothes. “i don’t want you to go there and potentially hurt yourself knowing you’re pregnant.” 

“we have no choice yeo, you know what your patient said yesterday.”

last night, yeosang burst through your office doors, yanking your arm and dragging you to his office without even getting the chance to say hi.

“yeosang, w-what’s going on?” you ask the man holding your wrist, stepping in his room only to see a patient bandaged over his legs, arms and head.

you glance at yeosang in confusion, asking him to explain why exactly he brought you here especially when there’s someone he’s tending to.

before yeosang gets the chance respond, the man in front immediately stands up, hissing and then bowing. 

“gener- your highness,” his low and gritty voice goes onto introduce himself, “i can’t reveal my name, but i have to tell you something.”

you exchange glances with yeosang who nods, ushering you to a chair, and he comes to stand behind you. 

“what happened to you?” you ask out of worry, eyeing the white bandages over him.

“dorado,” the man says, “dorado is after you.”

you place the chained veil around your waist, securing it by placing your armour on top. “i am sure, and as for that, it’ll be alright.”

“he’ll be mad,” he mutters while tightening the chain around your forearms. “very mad.”

you pause to look at him, “i know how to protect myself yeo... and as for seonghwa, it’ll be okay, he won’t even know i’m there.” 

he gives you a look that you respond with a grin, he breaks into a chuckle and pats your shoulders. 

“then i’m coming with,” he says, grabbing his own artillery from under his desk. surprising you, you would’ve never thought the doctor would have weapons with him too.

“i knew you were a sadist.” you laugh before the two of you walk out, hiding away from the guards and your parents.

“mingi i swear to god! stop screaming every two seconds!” san yells through the thick air, slashing his sword the through the wind. 

“i can’t help it, he fucking stabbed me! twice!” mingi yells back, riding his horse as he cuts through the enemies with ease.

the rest are fighting with their own group of people who seem to be attacking the face, “god, why do you all go after the faces!” wooyoung yells, kicking the other in the stomach before twisting his arm. 

“where’s seonghwa?” hongjoong cries out, clutching his bleeding arm while fighting. 

“ayo, park seongh- oh my god he’s got a whole army on him, no wonder, they all hate him!” 

seonghwa stands between the men crowding him in a circle, he grips on his sword tightly and smirks. raising his hand to motion them to come forward, as if taunting them with his fingers. 

the men groan out loudly and launch themselves at him, seonghwa successfully dodges all the punches thrown at him except the one that landed on his chest, making him stumble back. 

the barbaric man grabs seonghwa’s collars and yanks him to the floor, seonghwa grabs his sword and shoves it down the man’s chest all the way through. the man freezes and sees the duke smirk at him before throwing his now dead body off him.

men throw himself at seonghwa one by one and he fights his best, getting a few splotches of blood on his face while his arms bleed through his running wounds. 

a man from behind comes over to attack seonghwa, his breathing so loud and raspy yet still faded into the chaos of the war. he grips his sword and raises it above his head ready to cut through seonghwa’s body.

“hey,” a voice yells and the man freezes, seonghwa keeps on putting his attention on those who attack him. 

“that’s my husband you’re trying to kill.” before the man can even turn around, a sword slides through his entire neck and his blood splatters through air to the ground.

“general!” 

san’s voice cries at you, you’re surprised he’s back. you hadn’t seen him ever since he went back, but you notice he looks much better and throw him a smirk.

he notices you sitting on your horse dressed in your armour and a sword in hand, looking all majestic and a smirk forms over his lips and suddenly the rage to fight increases. you shake your head at him, mouthing to not mention you, and as if you were his fuel to his fire, he lunges at the attackers. 

with a snort, you pull on the two ropes coming from the horses’ head and rode through the battlefield with your sword in hand.

the wind streamed by you, whipping your hair back to show the eyes, dark and brooding and raging. those you sped past widen their eyes in fear as they start to run, your sword plays with the air, as the cloth decorating your horse flies. 

it’s almost a haunting image, you on the white horse while blood drips down the sword you’re holding. your eyes are turned into slits, jaw clenched, and your rank insignia shines intimidatingly under the gloomy day. 

you spot yunho and hongjoong from a far and wave at him. they stop to look at you for a quick second before making their way towards you, their jaws clenched and face bloodied. the three of you were known as a trio that worked together on the battlefield and made sure the kingdom won, you nod at them and they immediately know what to do.

“general, be safe.” you nod and begin to ride down the grounds. 

yunho goes out in the south, calling for the cannons to be released. hongjoong goes to the frontline with his men as they handle the ones there, you stay in the middle, eliminating any enemy who dare attack you. 

at some point in the battle, you go off your horse. dangerous for the condition you were in, but you managed to wipe off any men who attacked you, swinging your leg in their faces. 

those who attacked you from behind, you grabbed their forearms and and yank them forward with the strength you had. 

the wind blew in your face, a thin layer of sweat coating your face and your body under all the armour. your hair stuck to your forehead as you walked the grounds, dragging your sword behind you. 

the noise it created, tickled the ears of those passing by who immediately ran off. every step you took on the now bloody sand, dripped with the blood of those you fought with. 

your armour dripped blood; your sword poured the red liquid as you dragged it across the field. your face on the other hand, had a big splashes of blood, maybe even yours along with your rival enemies. 

it feels like it’s been hours since the battle started, hongjoong had managed to bring down the front lines while yunho had successfully attacked with cannons. the rest had been taking care of the ones in the middle, including you. 

now all you had to do was escape, so that seonghwa wouldn’t see you. 

which would be impossible considering he’s standing just meters away from you, if you had to escape, you had to do it quick. 

luckily, yeosang sees you and the two of you make your way back hurriedly. both of you laugh as you run away from them successfully before finally reaching the palace grounds. 

“i’ll meet you at your quarters, clean up good.” yeosang says and you immediately speed off to your room, hurriedly grabbing your towel, incense and fresh clothes to change into.

picking up anything suspicious, the two of you take showers in a record time. which was impossibly fast considering the blood on you two, and the time it took for you to drain it all out to finally being able to walk out all dressed like before. 

once you’re done, yeosang walks in and both your eyes widen. “fuck! the floor!” you two yell and instantly look for something to get the blood off the floor. 

yeosang brings in a bucket of water which spills halfway through and so he has to go for a round two, and you grabbed a random shirt to wipe the floor. the two of you used water and literally anything to get it off as you two panicked. 

not only were you two shaking but laughing at the misery you were in, but once the panic slowly calmed down. you both sighed in relief, sitting on the ground as you piled up the cloths for laundry. 

“take rest,” he exhaled, “i’m sure you’re devastatingly tired.” 

“thank you yeosang, really.” you reach over to pat his shoulders.

“now just, get ready for our very own duke.” he laughs, and you join him, shaking your head at the consequences you’re about to experience.

you heard the horns go off in distance not a few hours later, “they’re here, we’ve won.” you grin widely and walk out the room, yeosang following suit.

the second you walk out, it’s quite literally a mess. more than a few of your soldiers are injured, some getting carried to hospital beds. yeosang spares you a quick look and you nod, he runs down the hall, no longer was he yeosang but a doctor on duty.

you step down to help a few of the men yourself, you applaud and thank them for staying alive. when you’re helping a particular one though, he stops you and looks at you in confusion.

“general, aren’t you going to go to his highness?” you furrow your eyebrows, “he’s injured.” 

your eyes immediately widen, “h-he’s what?” you whip your head to the entrance as a group of men stride in on horses. 

you run, eyes searching for the one man you’re looking for. “mingi, where’s seonghwa?” you ask, your voice desperate, scared and panicky.

“he’s coming,” he smiles through the blood on his face, “don’t worry y/n, he put up a great fight.”

the worry on your face shows, your heartbeat hammering against your rib cage as your eyes wandered everywhere to meet seonghwa’s. 

and when they do, you slump down in relief. eyebrows almost meeting each other while your eyes water slightly, his face is cleaned off, but you could still see the smears of blood. 

his black hair is a mess, sticking to his forehead. he was head to toe sprinkled with blood as he rode on his horse, when his eyes meet yours, he immediately smiles. 

“i told you i’d come back.” 

you walk towards him slowly and he jumps down to take your hands in his, “where are you injured?” your eyes go over all his body, turning him around back and forth and he laughs.

you smack his shoulder, and he immediately hisses, his hands clench his shoulders, and you mumble out a sorry. he groans dramatically and you this time, slap his chest. 

“stop scaring me,” you hold his hand tighter, “let’s go, i’ll clean you up.” 

“hmm,” he grins, “you’ll clean me up?” and wiggles his eyebrows, your eyes roll to the back of your head. 

you’re so used to his nature and yet it still brings butterflies to your stomach, wrapping your arm around his waist you guide him towards yeosang’s private office. 

while you’re walking there, seonghwa talks about what he did on the field, and as if you weren’t there to see it all, you nod and praise him at what he tells you. 

“now don’t move,” you sit him down, “and let me clean your wounds, grab my hand if it hurts, okay?” you tell him gently and he nods.

you reach down to take strip his upper half down, which wasn’t easy considering he would mutter sexual innuendos and how he’d hiss in pain.

you grab a big cotton swab and drench it the antiseptic, bringing it up to his shoulder. you frowned at the large cut on his skin, his eyes staring at you intently as you catered his wound. 

ignoring him making kissing faces, weird faces and him blowing air to your face. or how is fingers play with your shirt, how his hand wraps around you, how he hides his pain by burying his face in your stomach. sometimes mumbling something to the baby inside. 

you chant sweet nothings to him while he bites down on his lips, once you’re done stitching his wound you wrap a white bandage around his shoulder. 

he finds playing with your hair as you patch him up, “y/n.” he mumbles. 

you hum in response, hands still fixing the bandage. “why’s there blood on your neck,” 

you freeze visibly, “o-oh it must be yours, must’ve been from when we walked here.” 

he stays quiet and raises his fingers to bring over your neck, you feel them hover a bit before he lowers them down to your neck. you shut your eyes and breath shakily when the blood coming from an unknown wound touches his fingers. 

“what is this,” he whispers, “why are you bleeding, y/n.” 

when you don’t respond, you feel his eyes on your face. “look at me.” your shiver at his tone, so low and deep that it cut through the tension. 

when you do look at him, you’re sure your eyes look guilty, sad and even worse. “where were you?” 

you shake your head, “nowhere hwa, i’m telling you it’s your bl-“

he suddenly raises your hair up in a bunch and yanks down your shirt, eyes stuck on the cut right behind your neck. “this isn’t mine,” he clenches his jaw and you feel his breathing fan your skin.

he turns his head to look into your eyes, eyebrow raising as his face turns bitter. “where were you y/n,” when you try and interrupt him, “answer me right now, and don’t you dare lie.” 

“me and yeosang were practicing,” oh, only if you didn’t stutter, he would’ve believed you, his eyes bore into your side and your eyes drop to the floor. 

when the room goes silent, you could hear the ringing noises in your ear. the faded groans of others getting their wounds tended at, seonghwa’s hand around your waist tightens and he forces you to look at him. 

“you went to the war,” he breathes. 

“without telling me,” he pauses, “with our child.” 

dread pools over you so quick that you almost forget to breathe, your eyes are glued shut and you hear his breathing get harsh. 

“answer me y/n, did you, or did you not go to the war.” 

you stay quiet for a few moments, knowing you’re in the wrong. there’s no need to hide it from him as it could possibly become a bigger deal.

“y/n.” 

“i did,” you nod and almost immediately he softly pushes you away from him, “hwa, i know i’m wrong i sh-“

“don’t ‘hwa’ me right now,” he warns, eyes fueling with anger. “how- who in the right mind would go to a war, pregnant!” 

he then steps towards you and you look at him in the eye, “y/n, are you fucking stupid? how, how- i don’t even have the fucking words!” he yells, and you shut your eyes.

“do you know how dangerous that is?” 

“hwa, i’m okay.” you interrupt him, “i’m alive.”

“and what if you weren’t?” he yells, “huh? what if you died? what if someone shot you or stabbed you? what if our child... died, y/n?” 

you suck in a deep breathe, “nothing happened seonghwa, i’m here! i’m standing in front of you, with our child!” 

“you willingly went to the war,” he points a finger at you, “you put yourself and the kid in such danger, y/n are you out of your god damn mind?!”

“just listen to me pl-“

“what if something happened to our child? you’re already injured, god forbid something might’ve happened!” he cries out loud and you notice him choking up. “did you even think of that or did you just think it’ll be okay?!” 

the room is so quiet, so quiet that you hear no footsteps from outside. because you know they’re hearing everything, the silence pains you and you know you’re wrong. you know that, but you did it anyway. 

“seonghwa, please i’m sorry, i know i’m wrong but please listen to m-“

“why should i listen to you?” he angrily asks, “so that you can preach about you saving the kingdom?” he grabs the nearest object and throws it on the floor, yeosang’s favourite glass now sits shattered into hundreds of pieces. 

“that’s not the point, seonghwa!” you yell this time, “just please let me explain to you why i did it!”

his face screams pain, his eyes are dropping tears while he breathes harshly, hands curled up into fists and eyes glaring daggers at you. 

“i just wanted to protect you hwa,” your voice cuts through the silence, “i’m experienced en-“

he suddenly grabs your shoulders, and your wide eyes look at his, “i’d rather get killed than see you die with our child.” 

“what you did was dumb, reckless and horrible.” he spits, “you’re horrible, i can’t believe that you would do this.” 

you don’t even realize that you’re shaking, that your eyes are pooling with tears and yet they don’t drop. the heat in your throat is getting unbearable and your eyes are staring into his. 

but the only difference is, yours are filled with love and his are with hate. 

“you’re so selfish y/n,” he glares, “so damn selfish.” he whispers, and you swear you heard your heart crack. 

“please, please hear me out hwa, i’m sorry, i’m so sorry- i, know i’m wrong for doing this but at least look at me.” 

he reaches beside you and grabs his shirt, you stand still, not knowing what to do. he won’t even spare you a glance, his hands wipe the tears that keep falling of his face while yours are shaking by your side.

when he’s about to walk past you, you hastily hold onto his arm. “hwa-” 

he turns around with such anger that you let go of his arm, “it’s your highness for you.” and without looking back, he walks out.

next part 

taglist : @idiomaticpunk : @ofcjongho : @ateezappreciation : @sparklychangbin : @annasbananas : @happycandynoelle : @seonghwas-shinystar-x : @treasure-hwa : @etherealbyeol : @rawrrainn : @sktbzc0re : @utopiakys​ : @deobichoice : @hanflix​ : @skmoonchild​ : @uzumakioden​ : @thiccseokmin​​

unable to tag : @multi–trash

[fullfiresiren]

beauty of the dawn

jujutsu kaisen

fushiguro toji x reader

The notion of a loving family was something foreign to Fushiguro Toji. Family, to him, was a bitter word -- full of hate and abhorrence. Abandonment and fear were a commonality in his own childhood. But in you, he finds a warmth he didn’t think he deserved – a home he craved, a love that makes him feel safe; full of gentle touches and soft kisses. But he’s scared. He's broken, and angry, and he knows the threat of his family is always lurking close, snapping at his heels, ready to devour. You bring the notion of family to his doorstep, and he spooks. He panics. He can’t let them find you, he can’t and he has to give up the only feeling of warmth he has ever known to do so.

It haunts him forever – leaving behind the only woman he ever loved, and a child he will never know.

word count: 3.8k.

notes: *inhales* ANGST— lmao but really, I live for it. Toji may be a bad person, but I suck dick, not morals, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ bro I fr don’t even know what came over me. This has been like the smallest headcannon for me and somehow it turned into this horribly sad piece, and although Toji is a dick, I also think he is an incredibly complex character that, at the end of it all, was just a desperate father trying to look out for his child. I think he deserves much more than he got, and he kinda gets shat on in this fic lmao I'm so fuCKING SORRY FOR THAT--

warnings: nsfw/18+, angst, hurt no comfort, abandonment, unplanned pregnancy, pregnant reader

“Take me,” he prays, panting secrets that fall from his lips onto your soft skin; promises of pleasure as he breeds you deep. “Take all of me.”

And you do – over, and over, and over again.

Hilting him to the deepest part of yourself, and holding him close, so close, his breath a hot ghost across your face as he leans his forehead against yours. You keep him there until he is finished, taking his seed like it was sacrament. He gives you everything he has to offer, and only when you have slipped into a light slumber does he pull away.

He never strays far, though, and he cannot stay away for long. You are like sweet honey and warm sunsets; the breathing embodiment of a life he was never before privy to – the promise of something better; a miracle. Far from the cold depravity and sharp pain of his own family, in you, he found only warm touches, and words of tender affection. Toji feels so overwhelmed by the amount of love he has for you, that sometimes it’s unbearable. He feels so happy he could die.

He is not an honest man, by any means. He kills for a vocation -- and enjoys it, too. It’s something he’s good at. It’s an easy way to make money, and it helps him pay for his half of the rent on the meagre apartment you share. It also lets him keep the fridge full, make sure you’re always warm, and that you’re never without. He doesn’t really care about himself or what he has to do – so long as you’re happy.

The weight of his body is always heavy between your thighs, his chest solid, thrusts slow and deep, stretching you, making a perfect fit for himself inside you. He likes drawing it out – each time he takes you. He enjoys seeing you beg for release, relishes the way your tears slide down your flushed cheeks, because he likes being the one to kiss them away, knowing he is the only one who ever makes you feel this good. His name sounds so perfect when it falls from your lips at your height of ecstasy, and the way you take him in has him swearing he can see heaven.

You see a side of him that no one else does, but he’s dark, he’s toxic. The amount of sadness in his soul is challenged only by the sheer force of his anger. He's sure that he wasn’t always like this, but... he can’t really remember a time when he wasn’t. Everyone and everything was his enemy. He’s never really told you much about his family, or his past. His childhood had been dark, you assumed, based on the way he flinched around children, and steered clear of any conversational topics that included them or parental figures.

Toji Fushiguro was untouchable to everyone, and only just tangible to you.

He wants to be able to give you everything. He wants to lay his head on your chest in the depths of the night when he’s feeling lost, listening to the steady rhythm of your heartbeat to guide him home. He wants to come home every night, no matter what happens to him throughout the day, and be able to feel the brush of your soft lips; to taste your tongue with his – god – he wants to. But he’s afraid. He’s scared. If he gives you everything... if he shows you who he really is... what happens if you see something you don’t like? Will you pull away from him? Will you cast him out and abandon him – just like his family did? Toji isn’t feeble by any sense of the word, but he thinks that would be the one thing that would break him.

That’s why he’s only let you see glimpses... and only every now and then.

He’s just so miserable when he’s alone. He’s angry at the world, and you’re the only thing that soothes him. The only thing he has ever loved.

You’re staring at yourself in the mirror when he comes home, locked away in the too-small bathroom. You hear the keys turning in the lock; a signal of his arrival, and the door to your apartment opens, bringing with it sounds of paper bags crinkling, keys being tossed into their bowl, and huffing exhales as he struggles to kick his heavy boots off.

“Toji?”

“I’m home!” he calls, his voice a deep timbre in his chest, smooth like rich oak.

You follow it, leaving the safe space of your bathroom to find him, and when you pass the threshold into your small kitchen, he’s lifting bags of fresh groceries onto what little counter space you have. The movement carries with it droplets from an October rain that had caught him by surprise on his walk home, ones that hang from the edges of his black hair and drip down onto his damp black shirt.

“Toji,” you repeat, beaming as you bound into your small kitchen. “I have wonderful news!”

He spares you a glance between unpacking vegetables, dark eyes tracing the curve of your face, hands grasping at packets of food that need to be tossed in the fridge, and cans to be stacked in the shelves.

“Hmm?”

He offers you his face, leaning in close, pausing in his task to receive a small blessing of affection from you — a soft kiss against the scar on his lip that has his eyelashes fluttering closed, and then one more fully against yours – always greedy for any love you bestow, always chasing just one more, just once more, just another, my love, just one more...

He continues with his chore, but only when you giggle at the fluttering of kisses he peppers across your face, your jaw, suckling at your neck, your hands against his chest pushing him gently, urging him to finish his task – but not before you give him another deep kiss, all giddiness and mirth swimming in your gaze. He can’t help the deep chuckle that spills from his lips at seeing you so happy.

“Toji,” you begin, and he’s rummaging in the paper bags, brows furrowed because he could have sworn that he bought three carrots, and not two -- “I’m pregnant!”

He stills.

He can sense your beaming smile, almost feels the warmth of it on his cold skin, and it only makes him shiver.

The seconds tick by without any form of reaction, and the atmosphere grows horribly tense. Toji doesn’t look at you, but he can see from his peripheral vision that your smile slips at the same time that your shoulders round and you make yourself smaller, unconsciously closing off. You’re twisting something in your hands, suddenly nervous, and he has a nauseating feeling that settles in his gut, because he knows exactly what it is that you’re holding.

It’s proof.

“Are you... happy?” you ask, and you hate that you have to. It’s like a punch in the gut, and you’re afraid. This was not the reaction you were expecting at all.

“Are you sure?” he doesn’t know why he asks that.

He isn’t looking at you, and he isn’t moving – he’s not even blinking. You feel your hands becoming sweaty as you clutch the positive pregnancy test, mouth dry. A quickly increasing panic creeps over your skin, gripping you by the throat, and you honestly have no idea how to traverse this kind of response to your news. In the bathroom you only practiced scenarios in relation to a beaming, positive reaction.

Which room should we make into the baby’s room? Our baby can always sleep with us, though, and I know they’re definitely going to prefer you – I'm hopeless with kids... but I hope they look like you, Toji – a perfect combination of everything I love about you!

Do you want to pick names out? I hope it’s a girl... but a boy would be wonderful, too! I know the baby will adore you, no matter what! Do you have any names you like? We can name them after someone you love? If it’s a boy, I want to make his middle name yours...

Why didn’t you think he was going to show apprehension or reluctance? Why were you so idiotic to assume this is something he desired when he’s never given you any signs of wanting to start a family? He’s probably feeling entirely overwhelmed – and no wonder – you have no tact about this. Fuck, you’re stupid. You fucking idiot. Pathetic, dumb, worthless--

“Y-yes,” you reply, and your voice is a shadow of its former self. “I took three tests. I have one here--”

“How.”

You flinch a little under the curtness of his words.

“W-what—?”

“How did this happen?”

“Uhm...” your voice sounds so frail when you speak, and you can't help it. He’s making you feel like you’ve committed a horrendous sin. You’ve managed to combine the epitome of affection between the two of you into the creation of what will become a child – a perfect mix of the two of you, and yet, you’re beginning to hate yourself for doing so. You didn’t mean to... it was an accident... “We don’t... you know... use protection... and we... have sex... a lot...”

“I thought you were taking the pill.”

You feel like you want to throw up.

His entire body is unnaturally still, and he’s not looked at you once since you’ve told him. You are pretty sure that the can in his right hand is warping under the violent pressure of his grasp, and you wring your hands around the test nervously, the weight of it somehow heavy against your palms.

“I... don’t take the pill...” you remind, and then as an afterthought, you add, “I’m sorry.”

Words you never thought you would say in relation to this. You never though you would have to apologize in this kind of situation. You exhale a shaky breath, and it seems to bring him back to reality. He sets the can down on the countertop with more force than needed, and you try your best to blink back tears as you ask, “You’re... not happy... are you...?”

It’s more of a statement than a question, and it hurts to say – god, it hurts. The words sting when they leave your mouth, like a hard slap against your face, but the ache is not nearly as bad as the way his silence is wounding you. You feel like you’re about to collapse from the amount of pain you have in your heart.

“I need to go somewhere,” is the most he offers you, before he’s turning on his heels and striding past you, leaving the apartment you share.

The noise of the front door slamming shut echoes in your mind long after the sound itself has gone.

He never did come back.

  — — — 5 years later — — —

 In the end, you were blessed with a baby girl, all chubby with round, rosy cheeks. Dark hair and eyes like her father, but soft and gentle like her mother. She was an almost perfect child. She never cried, and she never fussed, content in just being close to her mother. She listened when you spoke, and learned fast, growing just as quick, and you would die for her. She was your blessing; Akemi – the beauty of a new dawn.

You’re sure that he would have loved her more than life itself, but you try not to spare any thoughts his way anymore.

Toji gambles his life away, blowing through anything he earns as quickly as he makes it, drowning himself night after night in heavy alcohol to dampen his senses until they are nothing more than a faint hum in the back of his brain.

With any luck, those things will kill him long before the guilt does.

He fucks faceless women, drunk beyond sense, and when he finishes, he leaves before they sleep.

“Hate me, (y/n),” he sneers, turning sharply to vomit up onto the wet asphalt, breath a shaky exhale as he stumbles into the cold night, thoughts only on you – only ever on you – unaware that he’s crying. “Hate me. I fucking deserve it.”

His face is smeared with bile and tears, and he is so fucking angry -- so desperately sad, and he cries, and cries. He wants to go home. He just wants to go home. He wants to meet her – his darling daughter – he wants to hold her, and kiss her forehead, and tuck her into bed. Fuck everything that he thought – he would have been a great father, he knows it – and you knew it, too. He’s so lost without you, and he wants to lay his head on your chest in the safety of your bedroom, listening to the steady rhythm of your heartbeat to guide him home. He wants to feel the brush of your soft lips again; to taste your tongue with his, moan your name into your parted sigh, make you feel him again.

He screams, but it catches in his throat before he can, and he splits his knuckles open when he sends a furious punch against a brick wall.

He can protect you from a lot of things – but not the power of his family. Not that. He’s just one man, and they’re so many. He has a heavenly restriction, and they are all blessed with both innate and inherited techniques, passed down through eons. He knows what they’ll do if they ever found out about you – about the child, and Toji swears on everything he has, that he won’t let them touch you – or her. Even if he won’t be able to. Even if he’ll never be able to hold his daughter, to thank her for being born, to cradle her against his chest and feel her wrap her small fingers against his – he won’t let the Zen’in have her. He won’t.

But that doesn’t mean that he deprives himself from watching over her – or you. Eyes follow the two of you home from her pre-school, singing nursery rhymes to your hearts content, watching as she orders “up, up, mommy!”, squealing happily when you lift her onto your shoulders. He imagines himself in your place; lifting her to higher heights, hearing her giggle a chorus of happy songs as your hand finds his, lips on his scar as you tell him how much you love him.

But he always keeps his distance, dark baseball cap shielding his features, and leaves before you feel someone following you.

It becomes increasingly hard to keep it at that. He starts pushing the boundaries, testing how close he can get. He knows he shouldn’t -- he has no right to – but when she dropped her stuffed toy one time in the supermarket, and you were oblivious to it, he finds himself bending down to grasp the too-soft toy in his calloused hands, dropping it in your basket when your back is turned, and your brows are furrowed as you regard the price difference between her favorite flavor of juice compared to the off-brand ones.

The thrill of being so close, of doing something, anything fatherly, was like a fix – a short relief from the aching despair and loneliness constantly plaguing him, and he finds himself doing it more and more – always pushing, always testing the waters. He even smiled at her once when she caught him staring, and she sent her own toothy grin back at him. His heart soared.

His daughter’s name was Akemi, and he first heard it when it fell from your lips one warm afternoon. He wants to write her name on his heart – right beside yours.

He wants to give her something – a pretty gift, but he doesn’t know what. He was never good at buying presents, and would only ever bring you flowers, since it seemed like something that could never go wrong, and would always bring a bright smile to your face. Flowers would be strange for a child, though. He twists the dainty silver bracelet between his large fingers, thinking bitterly that this was the same way you held the pregnancy test all those years ago. He didn’t really care how much it cost him. He’s sure that the salesman added unnecessary tax and extras to the price just to give himself more commission, but Toji doesn’t care – he just wanted something pretty to give to his daughter.

When he finally sees her enter the park, small hand tugging yours happily, his mind goes empty, and he can’t stop staring. You are as beautiful as ever, and it’s no wonder his daughter is so ethereal when she has you for a mother.

She is perfect, he thinks -- too good for this life -- and even though it’s the worst thing he has ever done, he is reminded that pulling away from you was the only way to save her from his family. It looks like she escaped the curse of inheriting any of his bloodline's techniques, and what’s more so – it seems like she, too, is oblivious to curses; skipping past them as she chases leaves that skit about the dirt path of the park, her teddy in her arms. Toji dips his head down when she draws near the bench he’s sitting on, the brim of his baseball cap keeps his face hidden, and his sadness known only to himself.

“Excuse me?”

He bristles when her voice floats past his ears, so gentle and sweet.

“Hey, mister,” she pokes his knee with her slim finger, so tiny compared to the size of his body, and he jerks at the contact. “Is this yours?”

She’s holding the bracelet in her small hand, the silver glinting in the morning sun, offering it up to him with large eyes, so close to him. At this distance, he can see the true color of her eyes – exactly like his own – and the small freckles that dot her skin. The longer he stares, the more his chest constricts painfully, tightly – he’s finding it hard to breathe, and he exhales suddenly, sharply snatching it away from her.

The force of the movement causes her to stumble a little, tripping over her feet, and before she knows it, the man who was once sitting before her has entirely caught her in his large arms, scooping her up before the ground has a chance to harm her.

She blinks once... twice... swaddled in his arms, sitting against his broad chest, and Toji frantically looks for you, finding you caught up in talking to another mother, too busy to notice. He knows he would scold you for it if he was still in your life, but when his daughter laughs, he snaps his head back to look at her, forgetting what thoughts he had in his mind at the glinting sound of her happiness.

“Whoa!” she exclaims, “You’re fast! Thanks for catching me!”

He doesn’t know what to say – if he should say anything at all. His plan was to give her the bracelet, telling her that it was a late birthday gift from someone that loves her very much, and walking off before she (or you) has the chance to catch on or respond. But now that he’s inches away from her, holding her close as she peers up at him, he’s lost again. He’s lost, and he can’t breathe. He needs you to steady him, but you aren’t here, and he doesn’t know what to do, what should he do, what should he--?

“Where did you get that scar from?” she asks innocently, her large eyes suddenly trained on the mark beside his lips.

“F-from an accident,” he mumbles, “a long time ago.”

“Oh,” she hums, hands splayed against his broad chest, looking around her, swaying her legs absentmindedly. “Wow, you’re really tall! I can see everything from up here!” she exclaims happily, “My mommy’s not as tall as this, so when I sit on her shoulders, I can’t see nearly as much as I can now!”

“Oh,” he mutters, not really knowing what to say, “is that so?”

“Mhm,” she nods, “Mommy’s not as big as you are either.”

At this, he gives a genuine laugh – a sound he hasn’t heard fall from his lips in a long, long time, looking at her with quiet adoration.

“She’s not as fast as you either,” she continues, “you were super-fast!”

“She’s strong in her own ways, though,” he mutters, offering her a soft smile.

“Do you know my mommy?”

He bristles, actively avoiding her gaze. His heart is racing from this much interaction with his daughter, and he’s sure she can feel it under her small palm. It beats for her – if only she knew, and Toji contemplates, for the briefest of seconds, just telling her. The thought leaves his mind as soon as it enters. He doesn’t have that choice, and he doesn’t deserve it.

“Not really,” he mutters, dipping down slowly to set her footing on solid ground once more.

“She’s really pretty,” the little girl continues, playing with the soft fabric of his t-shirt in a small moment of fondness and familiarity, “and nice – and she makes great food!”

Toji realises only after the fact that his hand had settled on top of her head, and he’s stroking her hair softly, thumb caressing her cheek when he moves to cup her face. She doesn’t seem to mind at all, and Toji is overwhelmed with a plethora of emotions. Pride in you for doing all this by yourself and raising such a wonderful child, shame for abandoning you and his daughter, mirth, anger, warmth, sadness, love--

“Akemi!” you call, seeing her lift her head at the sound of your voice. “This way, honey!”

“Oh, I have to go now! My mommy is calling me!” she perks up, gripping her teddy a little tighter and offering the man a smile. “Bye-bye!”

“W-wait!” he calls, thrusting the gift into her small hands. “This is for you, uh... f-from me...”

She looks down at it, before her whole face lights up, and Toji is suddenly breathless – she looks so much like you when she’s surprised, happiness blossoming over her face the same way it would on yours.

Toji feels a deep-rooted emptiness inside his body when he watches his daughter retreat away from him; a living embodiment of all his failures to you, and yet, as he sees her long, black hair whip out behind her, he realizes something else — she was your promise delivered; a combination of everything good between the two of you, in itself a miracle. He might not be in her life, but he was also partly responsible for creating something so beautiful, so ethereal.

He knows he doesn’t deserve it, but if he was ever fortunate enough to be granted a second, it would be a miracle; a holy gift.

A blessing that would accompany the beauty of dawn.

[honeytae]

I can’t wait to create more memories with you.

hi my loves! so this is a super fluffy little piece about jungkook and his s/o moving in together - it starts out on moving day and there’s a little flashback to when the topic of moving in together was first brought up :) it’s overall just really cute idk i hope you guys like it <3

tags: @ahgasearmyfan, @hoseokayy

genre: fluff

word count: 2.8k

Slowly turning the handle to enter your apartment, you tried your best to mentally prepare yourself for what you would inevitably see. That didn’t seem to work, though, since it felt like an absolute sucker-punch to the gut. 

The space looked brand new; a completely blank canvas for its next tenants.

Walking into the empty apartment you used to call your own now felt heavy instead of homey. The path to your bedroom felt routine, but slightly shaken with the absence of all your things. Photos of your family no longer occupied the walls, that little throw rug you’d picked out for the summer had been cleaned off the floor, and the various vases of flowers your boyfriend surprised you with were no longer kept front and center on the table against the wall. 

And even though those items were still in existence, even though everything was still intact and far from gone, it still made your heart clench a bit in your chest that they would no longer be here.

Rounding the corner to enter your bedroom, you leaned your shoulder against the door frame for a moment, admiring the pristine openness of your room in its empty state. You couldn’t recall it ever feeling so big.

Heaving a deep sigh, you let your legs carry your body over to the bay window, taking a seat on the ledge to peer out at the view one last time.

At the sound of Jungkook calling your name, you glanced back to the doorway of your bedroom, staring at your boyfriend as he tipped his head at your unreadable expression.

Although he’d been lifting boxes all throughout the morning and afternoon, somehow he barely looked strained. In fact, he was still annoyingly attractive. He had his grown out hair tossed back into a bun (with one of your hair ties), and he was wearing plain black shorts hidden beneath one of his many oversized t-shirts.

How he could make it all look so good, you had no idea.

“Hi.” You said, the man wordlessly approaching you with a run of his palms down his thighs, crossing the room in only a few long strides to get to your swinging legs.

“I didn’t expect to find you in here. You okay?” He asked, his brows pulled together as he took a seat beside you.

Taking a stray strand of your hair between his fingers, he pushed it back from your face, subtly analyzing the emotions written into your features with dancing pupils.

Immediately wanting to ease him, you leaned forward, pursing your lips underneath his jawline before letting your chin rest on his shoulder. 

Wrinkling your nose at the odor rising from his t-shirt, you tilted your head slightly to escape the smell, unbeknownst to Jungkook.

“You’re sweaty.” You observed, the man craning his neck to look down at you, comically raising his brows at your bluntness.

“I’ve been working!” He defended himself, making you chuckle a bit before picking your head up to smile at him.

“I know you have.” You said appreciatively, leaning forward to press your lips to his when he subtly puckered them out to you.

“Saying your goodbyes?” He offered in explanation to your presence in the apartment, having already successfully gathered every last box there was to take.

You laughed at that, nodding a bit in response.

“In a way.” You shrugged, letting your temple fall on his bicep with a sigh. Shifting your eyes down to your leg as Jungkook grabbed ahold of your thigh, you smiled as he lifted and draped it over his own thigh, drumming his pointer fingers on your muscle.

Feeling his lips purse against the top of your head, you let your eyes fall shut, the distant sound of birds outside the screened window behind you letting you zone out into a much more peaceful space than your mind had been in previously.

It was the only serene moment you’d had today. From movers bustling in and out of your apartment, your mom coming to help you label and sort all your boxes, your neighbors poking their heads in to the chaos to finally nose their way into seeing the layout of your place in comparison to theirs; it had been a lot.

“Are you gonna miss it here?” 

Peeling your eyes open at Jungkook’s sudden question, you lifted your head to properly look at him, curiosity evident in the slight widening of his eyes.

“Hm. The memories it holds, more than anything.” You answered, watching as he nodded in understanding. “I never liked the kitchen layout.” You added as an afterthought, causing the man to burst into giggles before shaking his head at you.

“I don’t think the kitchen was too bad. Although I love our kitchen.” He grinned at the emphasis he could officially put on the word, you sharing the same reaction at the phrase. Our kitchen. Our new apartment.

“I’m so excited.” You all but squealed, the man chuckling as you squeezed him tighter to you in your excitement.

“Me too.” He said, smile slightly closing his eyes as his face creased with the strength of his happiness.

“Remember how nervous you were when you first brought up moving in together?” You wondered, peeking over at the closet across the room that had started it all.

“I do.” He chuckled, making you smile as your brain took you back to the event that had taken place only a few months prior, in this very room.

“Hey.”

Looking up from the heap of clean clothes at the sound of your boyfriend’s voice, you had eyed a pouty Jungkook, raising your eyebrows at his expression as his eyes briefly fixed on the clothes before focusing back on your face as he shuffled into your bedroom. 

The tone and facial expression that Jungkook greeted you with had your eyes widened slightly, examining his approaching stature, his eyes squinted at you accusingly.

“Hi.” You responded, laying Jungkook’s clean boxers on your thigh to straighten the fabric before you creased it.

“Are you hiding something from me?” He asked, causing you to tip your head in confusion as you stared back at him, bottom lip jutted out slightly. 

“Not that I know of, no.” 

Jungkook’s eyebrows raised at that, walking further into the bedroom to approach where you sat on the mattress folding a fresh load of clean clothes. 

You watched as his eyes searched the pile, sighing dejectedly before turning back toward the closet to rummage through it some more. 

“What are you up to?” You asked, Jungkook’s actions stalling only a bit when he picked up on the annoyed tone you used at his messing up of the rack of clothes in there. 

“I’m looking for my hoodie.” He explained his actions, causing you to roll your eyes behind his back. 

Jungkook seemed to have an emotional attachment to each and every one of his hoodies, even though he had hundreds to speak of. Every time you borrowed one, he tracked you down and made you give it back. 

It was never in a mean way; he only wanted his stuff returned, and you understood that. But at a certain point, it was just annoying. 

“Which one are you looking for?” 

“It’s the black one with the blue flames on the hood.” He recalled, scanning the row of clothes for the design before grunting in disapproval upon coming up empty-handed. 

Shaking your head, you sighed as you diverted your eyes back to the clothes awaiting folding. You could still hear the man rummaging through the plethora of hung items over your music, pressing your lips together in slight annoyance at the stubborn man. 

The closet in your bedroom was now a fifty-fifty split of your clothes and Jungkook’s. You couldn’t recall when he had started keeping clothes there; you suppose it just happened naturally as he spent more and more time with you. 

In fact, you were going on two years. You had picked up his habits and him some of yours, you knew all his little quirks and vice versa. Including his necessity for keeping all his precious hoodies in check. 

“Why must you fret about each and every one of your hoodies' temporary absences?” You sighed, the man mumbling an “ouch” as something fell out onto his foot. 

“Because I know someone,” he looked back to you for emphasis, “likes to steal them and then I never get them back. I swear you’re renting a storage locker for my hoodies just so I can’t find them here.” 

At his dramatics, you merely sighed again, going back to folding your t-shirt before you paused, looking up to stare at the back of his head. 

Thinking back, you could picture the black hoodie in a heap on his bedroom floor the other day, tossed aside after some activities between you two and obviously forgotten about by your boyfriend. 

“Did you check your place?” You asked, Jungkook’s actions pausing at your words before he slowly spun around to you. 

His face was plagued with guilt, cheeks full in a different kind of pout than the bratty one he’d greeted with as his sweet doe eyes came out to play. 

“Ugh, sorry.” He said, cheeks heated before he made his way over to you, landing on the mattress with his head resting on your thigh. 

You chuckled at the embarrassed pout on his face as he nestled his head into your leg, staring up at you with a ‘hmph.’

“I just can’t seem to keep track of what’s at mine or yours.” He explained, you nodding with a fond smile as you brushed hair back from his face. 

“I know. You just get so damn protective over those hoodies.” You teased, the man scrunching his nose at your cooing tone. 

“It is really difficult to keep track of what is where.” He sighed, looking up at you with a gleam in his eye that told you he was thinking something he wasn’t saying. 

“It is. What’s going on in here, baby?” You tapped your pointer finger against the crown of his head, the man smiling shyly as he grabbed your hand in his. 

“Why don’t we,” he trailed off, hoping you’d get his hint so he didn’t have to come out and actually say it. When you only stared at him in response, he sighed, shaking his head to negate what he’d been saying causing you to grab his wrist with a pout.

“Why don’t we what?” You asked, jutting your bottom lip out at the disappointed look on your boyfriends face, smoothing your thumb over the corner of his mouth to ease his frown. 

“Well, you know,” he shrugged, “since it’s so hard going back and forth between each other’s places,” he trailed off, groaning when you only smiled back at him, eyebrows raised in amusement as you waited for him to continue. 

The look on your face told him you knew. The gleam in your eye told him you knew exactly what he was trying to articulate. 

“Baby,” He groaned, realizing you were messing with him as you pulled begging eyes down at him. He removed his hand from yours, pulling it away with a pout as you chuckled at his reaction.

“What, Kook? What’s on your mind?” You continued playing dumb, wanting to drag the words you’ve been waiting so long to hear out from the man. 

“C’mon, why are you making me say it if you already know?” He whined, you giggling as you pressed a kiss to his cheek. 

“Because I want to hear it from you. And I like seeing you squirm.” You smirked, the man scoffing underneath you as he recaptured your hand in his own. 

“Baby, my sweet angel, the brightest star in the entire universe-“ 

“Jungkook!” You laughed, lightly squeezing his hand as you grinned down at him, his teeth shining up at you as he shyly blushed at the words in his brain. 

“Can we move in together?”

“Hm,” you hummed, the man’s eyes bulging as he slightly panicked beneath you, “give me some good reasons to.” You smirked again, your boyfriend gasping at your words before he took control, flipping you over to hover above your frame as you squealed at the sudden action. 

“You brat.” He leaned his forehead down to yours, effectively silencing you with a kiss to your lips, your fingers tickling at the hair at the nape of his neck. 

“For one,” he started, “you wouldn’t have to hear me complaining about my missing hoodies anymore. I can make a mean cup of tea, I’m really good at laundry, I-”

You cut the man off with a press of your lips to his, silencing him with a muffled noise as his hand squeezed at your hip. 

“You don’t have to give me any reasons.” You mumbled against his lips, feeling them curl into a small smile as he made a noise of delighted surprise. He knew you were only teasing, but he couldn’t believe you hadn’t dragged it out longer. 

“Really?” He grinned, causing you to giggle beneath him out of sheer fondness.

“Yeah, I’ll move in with you.” 

“Really, really?” He grinned, his doe eyes sparkling at you as you nodded to confirm, laughing at the man’s goofy repetition of the question you’d already answered. 

“So, we’re actually doing this? We’re moving in together?” He raised his eyebrows, face melting into a grin as you brushed his hair back from his forehead. 

“I think we’re ready, don’t you?” You smiled, the look of absolute happiness on your boyfriends face almost making you tear up as he all but hugged you to his frame. 

“I know we’re ready, baby.” He nodded, kissing you again as you both continued smiling like idiots. 

“Wait, how do we do this?” You asked, Jungkook furrowing his brows as he pondered your question.

“Huh. I don’t know.” He chuckled, you giggling along with him before sighing in thought. 

“Do we want to look for a new apartment altogether?” You wondered aloud, Jungkook bouncing his head back and forth in thought, hair moving with his head. 

“We could. Do you really want to leave here, though?” He raised his eyebrows in surprise when you shrugged in response, raising your hand to cup his cheek lovingly.

“I don’t care where I live as long as you’re with me. What about your place?” You offered, Jungkook mirroring your earlier response with a quirk of his shoulders up to his face. 

“You’re my home.” He put simply, laughing when your bottom lip jutted into a pout, pressing kisses over your face as your eyes filled with water out of pure adoration for the man. 

At the memory, you felt your eyes water again, looking up at Jungkook with a pout. Your boyfriend, wrinkling his nose at your expression, poked at your bottom lip, tutting his tongue at you.

“What happened to not caring where you lived as long as I’m with you?” He teased, squeezing your shoulder with a smile.

“I still feel that way, Kookie.” You assured him with a grin, taking his hand as he wiggled his fingers out to you.

“Good. We’re going to create so many more memories in our new home, I promise.” He said, baring his teeth to you again as he felt you squeeze your fingers around his hand.

“I know. I can’t wait to create more memories with you.” You sighed dreamily, leaning in for another chaste kiss on the man’s tempting pout. 

“So,” he leaned his forehead against yours, “are you feeling ready to leave now?” 

His words were soft, but they weren’t spoken with tentativeness. There was obvious excitement in his tone, an emotion that had you wanting to spring off your bay window and never look back. 

“Let’s go.” You smiled, coming to a stand as Jungkook remained seated, grinning at you in amusement at your sudden change in attitude about leaving this place. 

“Alright, boss.” 

With a grunt, he came to his feet, never letting go of your hand as you made your final stroll through the apartment together. 

Passing through the years’ worth of memories within the walls, you both took a silent few steps before pausing in the entryway, giving the place one last glance before meeting each others eyes with small, matching smiles.

Turning the handle to your front door for the last time, you let the latch slide closed like you had so many times before, tick-tick tacking as it came to a secure shut.

Shutting the door behind you, simultaneously opening a new one. 

[saturnsummer]

worthy.

When Sol gets a GPA of 2.02, the study group (and Joon Hwi) comes together to cheer her up. 

notes: another prompt by @thenerdywriter ! i wasn't sure if you meant it like this, but i hope you are satisfied! thank you for your prompt and your trust! i do apologise for the wait!

not much fluff or cliche romantic scenes, but just simple things that i hope when you read, remember your worth and never be defeated. you are worthy, loved and deserving to be appreciated. :) inbox always open!

for anyone who have sent prompts and asks, i thank you for your ideas! i have read through all your asks and am so excited to begin writing, but please understand if i can’t reply you as fast as i hoped! so sorry for this, i’ll try to address my inbox faster!! any mistakes or incorrect information will be taken responsible by me. enjoy!

edit: everyone, please don’t cry on this omg I’ve made 5 people comment their tears now and im terribly sorry for the tears.. I meant for this to be a light hearted story but looks like everyone is crying,, I’ll try not to make people cry now..

original prompt: where joon hwi and the rest of the gang shake some sense into her (sol a) about her self-esteem. 

words: 2787 words

Sol is downstairs at the lounge, holding a clear bottle of soju. She takes another swig from the plastic bottle, hoping that the alcohol can numb her heart like it does to her head. It burns, and she’s turning woozy, but she grumbles and takes another swig. 

2.02. She’s passed, at least. But she can’t help but feel upset. She wasn’t upset that she couldn’t score as well as Yeseul or BokGi, but upset that she’s satisfied with these low results. No one is going to hire her, even less offer an internship while looking at her track records. 

Sol worked her ass off for this exam. She nearly died, if it wasn’t for Yeseul’s reminders to eat. Even her cold stoned face roommate bothered to place bottles of water on her desk. Yet, after all this... 

“Why are you still up?” She hears Joon Hwi ask as he takes a seat next to her. She stays silent with a grim expression and turns away. Joon Hwi was the last person she wanted to see, especially when she’s in such a bad mod. 

“What’s wrong?” He asks as he catches her arm just as she’s about to chug her soju. 

“Everything.” She slurs. “You know I’m not even upset with my GPA? I’m upset of being happy with my shitty grades.” Joon Hwi sighs, attempting to grab her bottle away.

“I should have never came to study. I should have never tried to prove myself to be Dan!” She scolds louder. Sol knows she’s drunk in front of her best friend, but she can’t control herself. She doesn’t care. 

“Kang Sol...” Joon Hwi stands up, grabbing her bottle away from her. “You’re drunk. Go back.” 

“I don’t belong here, anyway.” Her slurs catch Joon Hwi in his steps. 

“I never once belonged with any of you. Being with all of you just drags you all further. I should just stop burdening you all with my questions and rot in a corner. Besides, no one would care.” She softly says, her voice filled with regret and guilt. 

Sol has always felt this way. Ever since she was young, Dan was always the star child. She got top grades while Sol got through in the middle rankings. Dan was always more popular, prettier, smarter. Sol learnt at a young age that no matter what, she would always be overshadowed by Dan. 

Thus, she learnt to be quiet. Only ask questions when she really needs to. Stick to familiar people. Only be loud when told to, and blend in in every situation. She learnt to depreciate herself, because no one appreciated her in the first place. 

Joon Hwi wants to shake her. He wants to write an entire dissertation on why Sol belongs to Hankuk. He wants to show her what he sees: a smart, caring, passionate lawyer-to-be. He wants to show her what he sees when she testified for Professor Yang in court. A confident, woman knowing her morals and rights.

“Kang Sol.” Joon Hwi says, pulling her up by her wrist. Sol pushes him away, but her touches are sloppy and weak. Sighing, Joon Hwi knows that it is useless to argue about her grades and her worth when she’s not even half conscious of what she’s doing. 

He grabs her coat lying on the couch, finding her phone and plans on calling Yeseul. But it’s past 1am, but he doesn’t want to trouble Yeseul. Sighing, he contemplates calling her roomie but reality smacks when he realises she’s home. Noticing how Sol is slowly nodding off, giving in to the fatigue, it leaves Joon Hwi not much of an option to carry her back.

Fishing the room key out from her coat, he takes special care in carrying her, sweeping his arm under her knee and lifting her slowly as to not disrupt her from falling asleep. The key card is in between his fingers as he slowly and quietly makes his way up to her dorm. He thanks the deities above that no one caught him or interrupted him. 

Tapping the key card, a standard ‘beep’, he pushes the door with his back, and takes care to get him and her into the dark room. He can barely see anything, especially since he has no hands to on the lights, but he makes out his way in the small room using the moonlight and what he can tell. 

Joon Hwi knows which side Sol sleeps, knowing from her stories that include her rolling from the bed up to the desk. By now, Sol was sleeping soundly, a slight snore escaping her. Gently, he sets her down on her bed and reaches to take her shoes off for her. Hanging up her coat that he placed on top of her whilst he was carrying her, he finally pulled the thick blanket over her.

But he didn’t leave just yet.

“I never once belonged with any of you.”

Sol’s words echoed in his head more than he thought it would. He stopped and bent down silently by her bed side, taking a few moments to wonder to himself just how and why does she feel so unworthy.

He grabs her bottle of water from her bag, before putting it next to her phone, which is on the table. Knelt on the floor, he observes the slow rise of her chest and the way her eyes flutter and nose twitch when Sol sleeps. Just how can someone like Sol think she’s any less than what he sees?

“You belong here in Hankuk. I’ll show you just why.” His whisper barely audible, as he brushes away a stray hair on her face. With that, he takes his leave and sneaks back to his dorm. (Without getting caught)

-----

The next day, after two painkillers and a big bowl of hangover soup (left mysteriously by someone at their pantry), Sol is headed to study group. She is running a few minutes early than their scheduled timing, but she’s surprised to find the group huddled in hushed whispers. 

“What are you all looking at?” Sol asks, as she sets her book at her usual corner opposite Joon Hwi. BokGi lets out a startled yelp and Yebeom clamps his mouth shut. Sol isn’t surprised to see Jiho crowded there, but is even more shocked to see Sol B crowded with them too. If it was anything, Sol B wouldn’t crowd around and discuss things, unless it concerned herself, or benefitted her grades.

“What...” Sol leans over and raises her eyebrows. Yeseul’s eyes dart nervously and she breaks into a smile. The rest of the group just shuffles back to their seats murmuring under their breath.

“Nothing, unnie! They were just discussing on what to order for lunch.” Yeseul says as she walks over to Sol and takes her bag and books from her, before setting it on the table. “Unnie, shall we get coffees?” Yeseul escorts her out of the room before Sol could react. Sol assumes that it’s due to her hangover that Yeseul is suggesting coffee, thus just following and getting a cold brew and assorted drinks for the others. 

When she returns, they distribute the drinks and start discussing on what to study. 

“Noona, do you have anything?” BokGi asks, a little too enthusiastically. Sol is taken aback and lost for words. She usually just follows whatever the rest want, since answering her questions will take hours. Joon Hwi gives a sympathetic smile. 

“How about you share with us about a recent case? Remember the one that Professor Kim liked in particular?” Joon Hwi suggests. Sol grows quiet. Her? The worst student? Sol let’s out an uncertain laugh.

“Ah, me? I rather my roomie shares. She did better than me.” Sol says, then prepares a fresh document for note taking on her laptop.

“I didn’t do well.” Sol B says quietly, her eyes emotionless as usual, leaning back into the chair. “You did the best. Go on.” Sol is stunned and just nods uncertainly. Taking out her case notes and her reports that she submitted, she nervously discusses the topic on hand. She sneaks Joon Hwi a couple of questioning stares but he only pretends to not catch her eyes.

Everyone is enthusiastic, asking questions and when Sol is stumped, they jump in to help her. They suggest ideas and Sol has never felt so energised by their energy before. She find it fishy how Joon Hwi just sits back and she can feel him smiling whenever she makes a point right or figures out a missing link.

An hour later, when they are done expanding on Sol’s case and discussing, they break for a late lunch together.  Yebeom enters the room with bags of food, as usual over ordering. As they pass out containers of jjampong and jjajamyeon, Sol’s eyes light up when she saw the only thing that mattered in the whole order: her beloved pickles, in doubled servings. 

What Sol doesn’t expect is for JiHo to dump his packet of pickles on her container of noodles. 

“JiHo-ah, why...” Sol is dumbfounded for a moment as JiHo opens his pack of noodles to stir. JiHo only pushes up his glasses. 

“You can have them, noona.” Sol is even more dumbfounded. This was the first time JiHo has called her noona. She didn’t care for the honourifics, and JiHo could call her by her full name for all she cared. But hearing those words from Seo JiHo’s mouth, just made her think everyone was utterly suspicious today.

“Okay, everyone is being weird. What is this?” Sol announces, hoping her tone came out fun, with no hints of anger. 

“Nothing! We just know you’ve been feeling stressed, so JiHo decided to give you his share of pickles, right?” BokGi quips up, as he dives into taking the sauce to pour over the tangsuyuk, before Yebeom and him argue over pouring or dipping. 

Sol, still feeling suspicious, breaks her chopsticks just as Joon Hwi picks up a pickle from her plastic saucer to put on her noodles. Her eyes dart from his chopstick to his face, but he just nods at her pickles, expressions hard to read.

Sol crunches on her pickles, but it does nothing to soothe the feeling that everyone was aware of something, but her. 

-----

The rest of the week was a puzzle piece that Sol could not fix together.

She woke up everyday to a new message by Joon Hwi, sometimes sending her funny videos, or a simple “let’s get through this together”. She woke up once to her roomie handing her breakfast and coffee. It just didn’t click in Sol’s head to see the cold Sol B hand her a sandwich and coffee.

Their group chat was undoubtedly noisy, but even more so now. Something in common was how the more chatty ones would ask Sol for advice or chat and strike noisy conversations. She was used to the chaos, but she definitely didn’t feel used to having the attention on her.

As the group had earned different internships from small and large firms, Sol was going to be left in school alone, still applying and hoping for one to come her way. Her study group knew about it, and instead continued to encourage her about it. They avoided talk on their internships, and actively tried to help Sol. While Sol was grateful, she couldn’t help but wish that they would just act normal and not worry about her.

She chose to meet them for breakfast on the day of their internships. The meal was noisy as usual as they ate their sandwiches and gimbaps. They were dressed smartly in their suits with their briefcases. Sol made a fuss over everyone looking smart on their first day.

“Hurry up and eat, you’re going to be late for your internship!” Sol scolded BokGi as he and Yebeom threw comments back and forth. Everyone was off for theirs and ready with their jackets and bags. Walking with them to the door, she couldn’t help but feel like a mom to her kids, sending them to school.

“Noona! Check your table later in the libra-” Yebeom gleefully mused before BokGi clamped his mouth shut and JiHo (with much irritation) smacked his head silently.

“What?” Sol asks, turning to Joon Hwi, who was turning redder by the second. Joon Hwi closes his eyes, the same way he does when he’s embarrassed and looks away from her.

“Listen to Yebeom and check the table.” He says, finally looking at her. “We’ll see you for dinner then.” Waving a quick goodbye, the group walked away from her towards the carpark where they separated to the bus stops or in the direction of the train station.

“O-Okay…” she mutters, still confused as she carries her books and bag to her usual table at the library. She would have went to sulk at Professor Kim’s office for a while, but she instead chose to head straight to study. Professor Kim had enough on her plate and she wasn’t ready just yet to face Professor Kim with her mood.

There, at her table, lies her stack of books.

Normal, nothing out of the ordinary. Huffing out, she slumps her bag on her table, gathering the post its on the bar above the table. Most of them were just plain comments, like how she had to stop slamming her pen into her hand (it distracted students) or move out of the library cause there aren't enough seats. Opening her book on civil code, she was ready to start drilling her head before meeting Professor Kim. 

Then she spots an envelope, hidden between the pages of the book.

Carefully, she picks it out and looks on the cream white paper, the only ink on it her name, written in neat handwriting. She could recognise Joon Hwi’s handwriting anywhere. A slight scoff escapes her lips and several students turn in annoyance. Realising that this was probably not the best place to be in, she grabs her books and bags (and the post its) and leaves the library. She heads to the empty study room, where she knows she’s be comfortable at.

Opening the flap, she slips out numerous slips of paper, varying degrees of length and sizes. Some words were neat, some were a little messy.

-----

To: Unnie <3

Sol-unnie, you know you’re smart, right? Your grades may not show that you are the best, but I know you are! Whenever I hear you discuss a case with the study group, I know you’re trying your best to memorise and improve. Don’t give up, unnie! I will support you till the end!

- Yeseul 

To: Sol-A noona

Yah, noona! You have to stop injuring yourself, okay? You gave us a really big scare the last time when you started nose bleeding in the midst of study group. Noona, don’t look at your grades anymore! If a man like me can get through law school so far pretty well, you can too! Fighting, noona! 

Noona~ you’re really talented. The fact that you scored so well during the criminal law test and managed to spot the comma just shows for amazing you are! Noona, don’t be discouraged... seeing you discouraged makes us sad too. Your favourite dongsaeng is here to help you! 

- BokGi and Yebeom 

To: Kang Sol-A

You can do it. Review your cases before classes. Get your internship.

-JiHo

To: Sol-A

Live up to your name, will you? And sleep on a regular schedule. 

- Roommate

To: Sol

Sunbae, remember me? Stop doubting yourself and trust yourself. You’re smarter than you know and fit for court. I will support you from wherever you are. I’m grateful for you, for supporting me all this time. I think Dan would be proud of you, and so will the cookie Byeol. 

Sol, you are worthy in my eyes. So stop undermining yourself. You belong in Hankuk next to me. You can’t give up now.

-Joon Hwi

-----

Sol lets a smile creep on her face as she lets a small blush rise to her face. Holding her letters to her heart, she closes her eyes, reminding herself of the past week and her friend’s efforts to cheer her on. She knew no doubt it had to be Joon Hwi who convinced everyone there to write for her despite their busy schedule. For even Sol B to help out and bother about her, it warmed her heart to have her support.

Picking her book, she pinned her hair up as she started drill into her book with a new found confidence, fuelled by her friends supporting her. But most importantly, she felt worthy. She felt loved. She felt confident. She was hopeful.

(Everyone thinks she’s worthy in their eyes, but one just thinks she’s perfect.)

[sparklingchan]

Ruby Eyes|| Seo Changbin (Stray Kids)

Pairing : Reader(fem.) X Changbin

Word count : 7.3k+ 

Warnings : Mention of an accident, cuss words, divorce, a single kiss.

Genre : Romance, Soulmate AU, fluff, angst, best friends to lovers.

Description: Seo Changbin has done everything in his capacity to remove and replace you, yet fate seems to have different plans for the both of you.

A/N : Hello everyone ahhh I know it’s been so long y’all. So many things have been going on including exams and internships and I just didn’t have the patience to write :(( This one shot was written as a part of a collab event by wonderful, dear Ro! 

I hope y’all like it!

"So, how's it being back, y/n?"

Your dad looks older now than he did the last time you saw him - probably two years ago, when you were leaving the country.

You missed him, really. You missed his warmth and his wisdom and how he was a sharp contrast to your mother, more calm and composed. Sometimes you wonder how your mother had even managed to get your custody after their divorce.

"Okay, I guess." You lie.

You didn't want your father to know how your feelings are all over the place, ranging from sadness to anger and longingness.

It's a weird thing to be experiencing such a cocktail of emotions when you'd convinced yourself these feelings had disappeared the day you left the old neighborhood, seven years ago. You had not felt any attachment towards the new neighborhood that you and your mother then went on to live for the next two years before you moved abroad for your studies. Yet you feel nostalgic now, as your father drives you through your old old neighborhood.

"How's mom?" He asks, taking a left to a road all too familiar to you, "Is she still going to therapy?"

You nod, "She's getting better, I think. The new country seems to have changed her. The therapy is helping too. She has many friends there now. "

At first when you were offered a job at one of the biggest publishing companies in the world, you were ecstatic. But everything soon died down when you found out you were posted at a branch in the country you'd left behind. It was your mother who'd convinced you to take it.

"I know you don't like being back, y/n." Your dad smiles sadly when he pulls over infront of your old house.The house that contains years of secrets, tears, lies and whispered confessions in front of the mirror stands in front of you, as grand and pretty as ever. It looks different but similar enough to make you tear up a tad bit.

"But I'm glad you're here. I really am." He says, "I renovated the house a little when you told me you were moving back. I hope it's okay."

You smile at the old man, wrapping your arms around him, "Thanks, dad. I missed you. I'm glad you're here, too."

He pecks your forehead, "I missed you, too, love."

Moving in doesn't take a lot of time since your dad had already set up everything. You just had to get some of your stuff and you were ready to kick start your stay.

That evening, your father leaves after making you promise to call him if anything happens at all and when the front door closes, you find yourself in the company of your old room.

You lie on your bed, eyes fixed on the ceiling as you hum an old tune to yourself. And without meaning to, you find yourself thinking about him; The man you hadn't seen or talked to for a whole seven years. The man who'd tried his best to stay in touch with you yet gave up when you didn't reciprocate the same.

A horrific realization then dawns on you,

He'd obviously replaced you now.

The familiar clouds of grief loom over you, threatening to engulf you any moment now.

No. Not now, please.

Getting up from your bed immediately, you shake your head as you make your way to the mirror- the mirror that had encountered more honest tears and smiles and words than any human ever had. You stare at your reflection as tears escapes your eyes, the bright red iris of your right eye staring back at you when you rub your tears off.

You shiver.

"Shit, I forgot to wear the contacts."

Quickly grabbing your lenses from your bag, you put them on, concealing the scary blood red color of your right eye. You take two long strides across the room and pulling your favorite black hoodie over your head, you walk out of the door.

By the time you manage to leave the house, it's already 10:30 in the evening. A quiet calmness has fallen over the town, as the shops and restaurants near the market square slowly start closing up. Your feet are as if on autopilot, taking you to that one place you know would still be open; Yang's Café.

And rightly so, the smell of freshly brewed coffee reaches your nostrils when you walk through their main door, past the group of chatty teenagers waiting outside. This place hasn't changed much, you realize, the brown and golden hues of the place and the vintage coffee cups collection in the far corner of the Cafe are still the same. The only difference is that you're no longer here with your best friend right after school, you are here all alone on an evening too quiet for your liking.

"Y/n? Is that you?"

When you turn around to face the owner of the voice, you are stunned.

"Jeongin?"

Jeongin's family has owned this Cafe for three generations now, from his great-grandparents, his grandparents, his parents and soon enough it'll pass down to him. As a kid, you remember often playing with Jeongin at the park and teaming up with him during quiz competition. He was always sweet and always smiley.

But the handsome young man that stands in front of you doesn't resemble the Jeongin you once used to know, not even a little bit.

"What..what happened to you!" You exclaim, taking his face in your hands, "Where are the braces! And the specs and wow, would you look at the blue hair!"

Jeongin can only let out a few giggles as you continue squishing his face and complaining how big he's grown in only over seven years.

The customers give you weird stares but only the heavens above know how genuinely happy you are to see Jeongin, albeit the fact you almost couldn't recognize him there for a second.

"What have you done to my child?" You mutter when you've finally calmed down and Jeongin takes you to your seat.

"I have a mother, y/n, thank you very much," he laughs, taking a seat opposite to yours, loosening the Barista apron around his torso, "And I missed you too."

You attempt to pinch his cheeks but he is quick to dodge.

"So how have you been?" He asks through giggly breaths.

You sigh, "I'm good... I feel weird being back here, honestly but I think I'll get used to it soon. What about you?"

"I've been good. Graduated a few months back, now I'm working here full time." He ushers over a waiter, "What would you like, y/n?"

You don't even think for a second while responding, "An iced Americano, please."

The waiter notes your order and walks away before Jeongin pinches your arm teasingly.

"Ouch. What?"

"Old habits die hard, huh? You always used to drink an iced coffee whenever we hung out here. I am glad to see nothing much has changed," Jeongin laughs, "You and Changbin, too!"

That one name sends your entire mind into a frenzy. Changbin. Seo Changbin. The love of your life. The man who you wouldn't even go to school without, the man who had saved you from a terrible accident, also the man who probably no longer even remembers you.

And you realise, despite everything, your heart yearns for him, still- for you wouldn't be in so much pain at the mention of his name otherwise.

Jeongin seems to have noticed your discomfort because he immediately changes the topic, "Anyway, you have to try our new chocolate cake. It's heavenly, I'm telling you."

Your reason to leave the neighborhood wasn't a secret, really. It was public knowledge that your mother had blamed Changbin for the fatal accident you almost had.

You're grateful for what Jeongin does, and try your best to engage in conversations about the neighborhood and old gossip you'd missed out on. Yet all you want to do is drive out of the damn Cafe and find changbin.

"Y/n?"

Or maybe, Changbin will find you.

Behind Jeongin, you see the blurry image of a man that had once caused you great misery yet you had never felt as happy as when you were with him.

"Hi..hi, Changbin." You stammer as you see the said man walk towards your table.

The seven years have as if done some magic on him, because the Changbin that walks towards you in no way resembles your high school best friend.

With thick buff arms, new ear piercings and silver jewelry gracing his wrists and fingers, you have a hard time actually accepting the fact that Seo Changbin is really there, in front of you.

"Been long, huh?" He grins, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes and somewhere in the depths of your conscience, you realize it might have been your fault. You'd done everything in your capacity to break apart from this friendship, ignoring his calls, changing your number, even going as far as blocking him on all social media.

So, did you really expect him to welcome you back with open arms when you had caused him so much pain?

Jeongin brings an extra chair for Changbin to sit on and soon, the three of you are talking, maybe not like the old, happy days but it's still better than nothing. Changbin looks at you everytime you throw your head back and laugh, your eyes squeezing shut as his heart clenches in his chest.

You are really back home.

"So what have you been doing? I told you guys about me." Jeongin says, stealing a bite off of Changbin's cheesecake.

"Oh..you know," Changbin giggles, the tip of his ears turning a light pink shade.

You raise your eye brows in confusion.

"Been busy with the wedding and all."

Your heart drops. "Wedding? W-whose wedding?" You try to laugh it off but it's very evident from the way you're gripping your glass of iced Americano that it has affected you. A lot more than you actually thought.

"I'm getting married, y/n," Changbin smiles, "I'm so glad you could be around for the wedding."

*

Your grief stricken self has not gotten up from the bed since last night and you're thankful to Jeongin for finally checking up on you or else you would have gone deeper into the spiral hole of despair.

"Are you really going to be like this, y/n?"

You hate being miserable on the very second day of your stay. You hate depending on Jeongin. But you can barely move without bursting out into tears,so it seems as though there's no better idea than have someone take care of you at the moment.

"I'm sorry, Jeongin. " You manage to speak when he places a bag full of snacks and drinks on the dining table, "And thanks."

Jeongin chuckles, "Don't thank me, just yet. Guess who wants to meet up with you?"

Your eyes widen for a split second as you sit up on the couch, "Who?!"

No, he wouldn't, would he?

"It's not the person you think, y/n. Calm down." He laughs, "It's Bang Chan. Your senior, you remember?"

Oh, yes, the infamous Bang Chan. Shy smiles, dimples, curly hair, angelic eyes. Yeah, you remember the school's heartthrob. Very clearly.

"I was talking to him this morning and he said he'd be very glad to catch up with you again." Jeongin settles beside you, "It's not a date, y/n. He's an old friend. It wouldn't hurt, would it? You can't possibly sit here all day long crying about him."

You open your mouth to argue, but only air slips out and you realise you don't have anything to defend your miserable state with. You knew this was coming; when you cut off all ties with Seo Changbin, you knew this was coming.

Jeongin is right; you need to go out and meet new people.

You roll your eyes before pinching Jeongin's cheeks, "Fine. Give him my number."

He responds by pulling your cheeks as well.

*

The first day of work is weirdly gut wrenching.

You hadn't expected yourself to be this nervous but here you are, muttering under your breath as you make way towards the office.

"You'll be okay, y/n," you breathe in, "You've worked hard for this." And breathe out.

A few more minutes of self pep talking and you see all your hard work and expectations go down the drain as you feel a few droplets of rain fall onto your head. You look up and the dark, heavy clouds greet you.

Bloody brilliant.

You see the office goers around you jog quickly to the nearest shelter but you're short on luck today as your gaze falls on your watch and you realize you don't have enough time to wait for the rain to pass.

So you grab your office bag, cover your head with that and make a run for it.

The sole of your high heel shoes dig into your feet and a throbbing pain shoots through your body, as you wince. Note to yourself - never wear heels to office again.

You also secretly pray to the gods that your contact lens don't get washed off. Turning up at your new office on the first day with a blood red iris doesn't feel too fun, really.

"Do you need a lift?"

You had been so busy running to your office that you don't notice when a black car drives toward you and the driver rolls down the window, offering you a smile.

Seo Changbin.

Your heart skips a few beats.

"Y/n, do you need a lift?"

You blink back to reality when he clicks his fingers in front of you, "I-I mean if that's okay with you."

Changbin smiles, pointing to the passenger's seat, "Come on in."

When you're comfortably seated in his car, using his spare towel to wipe off the water from your face and hair, his questions start-

"So.." He steps on the break when the traffic light turns red, "How have you been?"

You look at the digital clock displayed on the cars' LED, and sigh. You're late to work and you're stuck in traffic with the one man you'd rather not be stuck in traffic with. Brilliant.

"Good." Your eyes are focused on the cars outside the window, "You?"

There's a moment of silence before he speaks again, "Fine."

Fine? Just Fine? Shouldn't he be over the clouds, now that the wedding is finally around the corner?

"Okay.."

"Actually, I meant to ask you earlier, y/n." He turns to you, a gentle smile playing at his lips, "I am throwing a party this weekend. I'd love it if you could come by. And I could introduce you to her."

You sink back into your seat, biting your lip, wondering if you want to ever know who her is. Your peace of mind is more important than meeting your ex crush's fiance, right? And if you do end up going to the party, whom would you hang out with? It's not like you know any of his rich friends and cousins and there's no way you'd hang out with Changbin and the said fiance.

You are about to respectfully reject the invitation when a sudden, seemingly good idea pops into your head.

Bang Chan.

You nod, shrugging, "Okay. I'll be there."

You clasp your hands together as he continues driving and you look out the window, unable to suppress the bubbling excitement.

"Great, then." He replies, suspiciously.

*

The evening of the party finally arrives, much to your dismay, you find yourself seated next to Chan. He's just the same as the guy in your memory; a gentleman.

"You look pretty, y/n." He had greeted you as he held the car door open for you, "I'm glad we could meet up."

His words turn your cheeks into a darker shade of red but your heart doesn't beat quite as furiously as you'd expect it to.

Muttering a small thank you, you seat comfortably in the car while Chan drives towards Changbin's family's old Farmhouse on the outskirts of the city. You've been there before - during summer holidays, he would take you there with his family. That place was only filled with happy memories of sunshine, swimming pools, watermelon juice and bonfires.

You swallow the grief that comes along with these memories.

"Are we here already?" Chan pulls over in a familiar driveway not even ten minutes later, jogging up to your door and clicking it open, like the gentleman he is.

"Yeah, we're here." Chan smiles, "Very less traffic tonight."

You guys walk through the huge metallic gate, making your way through the main door of the house.

"Uh..." People are crowded mostly around the front door and in the front yard, so you and Chan have to push and squeeze your way into the Farmhouse. You hate the feeling of sweaty bodies pressing against you (or holding Chan's hand for stability) but desperate situations call for desperate measures.

"I hate it here." You mutter when you later find yourself by the pool side, swirling the drink that you don't even plan on drinking and looking at all the flushed faces having the time of their lives.

Thankfully, Chan happens to be on the same boat as you.

"I'm sorry I dragged you here, Chan. We could have just gone for a movie."

Chan giggles, "Hey, it's alright. I don't mind, I'm glad I could spend some time with you after so many years."

His eyes shine and dimples deepen.

You whisper, "Yeah, me too."

Chan is a handsome man, good at all kinds of sport, good at arts, very smart and intelligent yet there's a part of you that knows you'd never be able to reciprocate his flirtatious words. It's sad, really, but that's just how life is.

"Wow, those two seem to be having the time of their lives." Chan chuckles, pointing at someone behind you.

It's quite dark outside, the only source of light being a few decorative fairylights hung at random places haphazardly.

Hiding behind a huge, tall bush, you see a couple, kissing each other like it were the last day on the planet.

The guy's hands roam all over the woman's body and the woman is so loud that even you could hear her sighs and moans. When she pulls away to catch her breath for a second, Chan asks you, "You know her?"

"Nope. I don't know either of them."

You look away; what kind of creep looks at a happy couple like that? (Not a creep, just a lonely and touch starved person)

"Should we check out the dinner table?" Chan suggests and you agree with a nod, "I hope there's no crowd there."

As expected, there actually isn't a crowd there - there's only Changbin, sitting and nibbling on a pizza slice while scrolling through the phone.

The moment your eyes land on him, your feet as if stop on their own and your heart bangs furiously against your chest.

He's breathtakingly gorgeous.

By the time you debate in your head whether or not you want to sit there and fill your stomach, Chan has already made his way to Changbin.

"Hey, Bin!" He greets him with a smile.

Changbin looks at Chan with an unamused smile, the same one from your high school days, when these two were named the biggest rivals on campus. You wonder if somewhere deep in his heart, Changbin had still not let go of that rivalry.

"Hey, Changbin." You manage to whisper before sitting beside Chan.

He looks almost angry.

"You should have the pizza. It's good." He mutters, turning to pass you a slice of pizza on a plate, "Help yourself, Chan."

Yup, there it is. The Seo Changbin that would kill to be on top. You feel worse about dragging Chan here now when neither of you were having a good time.

"Thanks, mate. " Chan replies.

Your ears ring with the sound of approaching footsteps, and when a pretty girl comes walking in and takes Changbin in her arms, your heart stings. Like a fresh wound.

"Y/n.." Chan whispers to you as you watch the two collide in a loving embrace, Changbin smiling at her and running his fingers through her hair.

Your heart hurts at how happy and content he looks.

You could have had that, a part of you thinks, if you weren't such a coward, it would have been you instead of her.

"Y/n," Chan calls you again.

"What?" Your tone is harsher than you intended, "What happened?"

You think Chan is about to give you the whole it-is-time-to-move-on talk but he doesn't, instead he points at the girl and whispers,

"It's her. The girl we saw earlier."

The rest of the night is blurry to you, all conversations, all gazes, all thoughts just feel ....like an awkward dream.

"We have to tell Changbin."

You're sitting at Yang's Cafe at 1 am the same night, watching Jeongin's brother guide his staff to clean the place up.

"I agree." Chan says, biting the inside of his cheeks.

While you, on the other hand, are completely zoned out, staring at the glass of water placed in front of you and watching the droplets on its surface race each other.

"Y/n, what do you think?" Jeongin asks when you don't take part in their discussions.

You sigh, "I don't know. I really don't. As much as it troubles me that Changbin is being cheated on, I don't want to get involved in their personal relationship. "

"Let's not tell anyone for now, then. But someday in the future, before that goddamn wedding, we have to tell him. He deserves to know." Chan agrees.

You purse your lips and close your eyes.

Chan is right.

Changbin deserves to know the truth.

*

"So, how's it being back in town, y/n?"

"It feels good. Weird, but good." You smile at your old teacher, "How have you been, Miss Oh?"

Your teacher adds sugar to the cup of tea in her hands and then looks at you, smiling - the same old smile, except with more wrinkles now, "I've been good. I'm retiring next year so I'm glad I could see you before that, huh?"

You nod your head, "I'm glad too. The school hasn't changed much, unlike what I had expected."

Other than the addition of some new labs and libraries, and the change in color of the walls, everything was still the same. No place in this old school building feels foreign to you.

"Ugh, these administration people I tell you, y/n, they're cheap idiots. They won't spend a single penny on infrastructure unless it's absolutely necessary." She complains as you giggle in response,

"They've always been like that."

Miss Oh gulps some tea from her cup, "Anyway, y/n, I have a class now. I would have loved to stay and chat, really, but I'm afraid that might get me in to trouble."

"No issues, Miss Oh. Go ahead. I'll just roam around the school a little more though, if that's okay."

After Miss Oh leaves, you step out of her cabin and walk the familiar corridors, reminiscent of the memories you have here. Studying a few minutes before tests, bunking classes, running to class when you're late, hanging out with your friends- these corridors have seen you grow in love, in friendship, in life. There's absolutely nothing that could ever replace these memories.

Mindlessly, you wander around the third floor, walking toward the end of the corridor before stopping in front of an old door, way too familiar to not try and push open.

While a part of you tells you it might not be a good idea to go into that room again, there's also a part of you that thinks it's a bloody brilliant idea.

Pushing the door open, you walk into the old dusty room, sighing in relief when you see a particular set of letters still carved on the wall.

CB and YN were here.

You finally let your tears run free, as you crouch down to touch the letters.

Your heart aches at how much you miss Changbin being an important part of your life and how much you miss being his top priority. And your heart aches for Changbin, who is so in love with his fiancé and has no idea he's being cheated on.

You almost want to leave this town and go back to your mother, away from this terrible mess. Yet you don't find it in yourself to act on those thoughts.

Maybe, it is your fear of abandoning him once again that stops you. Or, maybe it is simply the unconditional love you harbor for him.

* Surprisingly, Yang's Cafe is near empty that afternoon.

"Did something happen, y/n? You look really worried." Changbin has his arms crossed over his chest, looking at you with a tense frown.

"Um..it's kind of complicated." You sigh. For a second, you see the genuine concern and innocence on his face, and you wonder if it is worth telling him the truth at all because it would kill you to see him lose his smile but then, his engagement band shines on his ring finger and your stomach turns unpleasantly.

He has to know. From you. In person.

"Changbin, that day at your party...I saw something. " You whisper, "Something I shouldn't have. I should have turned a blind eye really but I can't. My conscience won't allow it. I'm sorry, Bin."

"Y/n, it's okay, just tell me," he reaches over and wraps his fingers around yours, soft and gentle, "You're scaring me."

"Changbin, your fiance is cheating on you. I-I saw her kissing another man that night. Chan saw it too." You feel sick even having to say this to him, "I think you should confront her."

He sucks in a deep breathe, his face completely void of any emotions as he extracts his hands from yours.

"I know." Is all he says.

His eyes drill into yours, as if accusing you of a crime. He looks angry. Just how he looked the day you brought Chan to his party.

"Why are you still marrying her then?" You question.

He sits up straight, "Y/n, I wish I could explain. But I can't. I'm sorry. And please, stay out of this, okay?"

"Why? Why should I stay out of it?" Your voice threatens to break, "I cannot watch my best friend marry a woman who's not loyal. You deserve better than this, Bin."

A sarcastic chuckle leaves Changbin's lips as he taps his foot against the floor, "Let me correct you, y/n. You were my best friend. Seven years ago. You're not anymore."

Your heart shatters.

A part of you knows you deserve this after ghosting him for seven long years. You were the center of each other's world at one point of time.How could you have been so selfish to ever think that your absence and lack of communication wouldn't hurt him?

"Changbin, I'm sorry for everything I did okay. B-but I never stopped thinking or worrying about you. Even for one second. And I still do."

Changbin pushes his chair back and stands up while you stay frozen in your seat.

"It doesn't seem like that though. "

"What do you even mean!"

"Chan. I mean Chan, y/n." He grabs his phone and purse, "Goodbye, y/n. I hope Chan turns out to be a better friend than I ever did." With that, the love of your life walks out of Yang's Cafe.

And for once, he doesn't even look back.

* "Y/n, don't let go of my hand!"

Changbin is panting heavily, his voice shaking with fear as he desperately tries to hold onto you.

He should have known it would be a bad idea to play badminton near the infamous cliff in your town yet when you had showed him your innocent smile and pleading eyes that day, he just couldn't say no.

Your sweaty hands clutch his, legs dangling over the edge of the cliff. Your free hand grabs the rough surface of the rocky cliff to keep yourself from falling.

You want to cry; but you're too traumatized to even let out more than a few terrified grunts. "Y/n," he yells, "I'm going to try and pull you up one more time, okay?."

You don't even remember how you had ended up in this situation; one second you were happily giggling, playing badminton with Changbin and in the next second, you found yourself hanging by the cliff, praying for your dear life.

With all the energy he has left, he tries to pull you up onto the surface.

"Y/n, you have to free the other hand. Let go of that rock." He pants.

You shake your head vigorously, you know you would not survive if you let go of the rock, you'd fall thousands of feet below into absolute nothingness.

"Y/n, please listen to me." Changbin pleads, now crying, "Please. I'll catch you, I promise. I'll not let you die. Just..please."

Changbin sounds like he's about to give up and in all honesty, you couldn't blame him really. Everytime your eyes fall on what's beneath you, a part of you loses hope.

"Please, come on, y/n," he's still pulling at your free hand, while his right hand awaits desperately to grab the other hand. A mixture or sweat and tears grace his face, making him shine under the bright afternoon sun. Your heart aches at the mere thought of never seeing him again- your friend, your childhood crush, your partner in everything.

Well, here goes nothing then.

You suck in a deep breath and let go the Rock, immediately reaching for Changbin. He is quick to grab both of your arms and in one swift movement, he pulls you up onto the surface.

You fall onto his chest, "Y-you saved me."

Changbin let's out a sob mixed with a relieved giggle, pulling you into his arms.

Your eyes feel heavy, as darkness slowly begins to engulf your vision.

"Oh God, I am so sorry this happened, y/n. It's all my fault." He cries, rubbing your back softly, "I'm so sorry. I thought I was going to lose you, oh God. Fuck!"

You want to tell him that it was never his fault, and that you wouldn't even be alive if not for him but your body betrays you and your body goes limp against his.

*

"I'm not leaving this neighborhood."

Your hands rest angrily on your waist as your mom frantically walks from your closet to where the suitcase is spread open on your bed, shifting all your clothes. She dumps them inside the suitcase, not bothering to fold them even.

"You will do as I say! That Seo Changbin tried to push you off of a cliff and heaven knows what he might do next!" Your mom yells back.

You sit at the edge of your bed, trying to keep yourself calm, "Mom, I told you it was an accident. I fell because I was going after the shuttlecock and didn't notice the cliff. Moreover, why would my best friend want try to kill me!"

Your mom let's out a sarcastic laugh, closing the suitcase roughly. She looks at you with eyes full of contempt and a part of you knows that there's no point in trying to convince her. Her mind is already made. Yet you refuse to go down without a fight.

"You're just sixteen, sweetie. You don't know anything about the cruel world, " your mother sighs, "Rich people are not friends with anyone. Changbin may be nice to you but he only sees you as a pathetic poor girl."

"Mom, we're not even poor!"

"Yes, I know. But those filthy rich businessmen consider everyone below their economic status poor. His family probably doesn't like him being friends with you which is why they asked him to get rid of you."

You think of Mrs. Seo's face in your head, always smiling and always welcoming. You remember Changbin's sister and how she'd promised to let you borrow her dress for this year's winter prom. And you think about Changbin- his face, his smile, his passion for music and his protectiveness towards you. Why would these people ever want to hurt you?

"Mom, you're being ridiculous right now! Do you even hear yourself!" You stand up from the bed, now beyond frustrated.

She walks upto you and grabs your arm tightly, nails digging into your skin as you whimper slightly. "You will listen to me. I am your mother and you will listen to me. " she growls, "Pack the rest of your stuff. We're leaving tomorrow."

When she finally walks out your bedroom, your first instinct is to dress yourself in your black hoodie and track pants, and quietly slip out of the back window of your room.

The cold air nips at your skin, goosebumps slowly appearing on your arms and legs but you're too preoccupied to pay too much heed to it.

You reach Changbin's house and like always, walk up to the backyard and climb upto his room through the emergency staircase.

When Changbin hears knocks on his window, he quickly removes his headphones, "y/n?"

He walks upto the window and let's you in, his heart more at peace now than it's ever been the entire day. The guilt from the accident you had earlier was clawing at his conscience.

His room is mostly dark except for his table lamp. You notice the lyrics notebook lying on the table, open with some scribbles and random phrases on the pages.

"How are you feeling?"

You sit at the edge of his bed, cross legged while he kneels on the floor to get to your level. His hands find yours naturally.

"Fine," you swallow the tears that have been accumulating since you left the house, "Changbin, I- we're leaving tomorrow."

Changbin is taken aback; his heart shattering into billions of pieces at your words.

"Leaving? What do you mean Leaving?" his voice trembles.

You lick your dry lips and tell him everything your mom had told you earlier. When his face twists bitterly, a part of you wishes you'd held your tongue yet a bigger part of you wants Changbin to know the truth now; you didn't want him sending you off with lies in his mind and the fear of him finding out some years later just killed you inside.

"I'm so sorry, Changbin. Mom's just not been okay after the divorce." Your voice breaks when Changbin refuses to look at you, "I know she's speaking bullshit. But there's absolutely nothing I can do to change her mind, I've tried I swear. I'm sorry, Changbin."

When Changbin finally does look at you, even in the dim lit room, you see the tears glistening on his face, mirroring the ones that roll down your cheeks. "Why are you sorry, y/n? I don't blame your mom." He mutters, "It was partly my fault. I should have taken more care, I-"

You cup his cheek, "Shh. Bin, are we really going to spend my last night here crying and blaming ourselves? We might never see each other again."

The words sink deep into his soul, and he nods. He wills his tears back in as he grabs your hand tighter.

"Okay. What do you wanna do?"

You smile a little, "You're not gonna like it though. "

"Stargazing it is then." He giggles a little as the both of you make your way to balcony attached to his room.

It is quiet outside, unlike the noise in your head and you feel the calmness spreading to you when you look up at the stars.

Changbin brings a picnic mat from inside and spreads it out on the floor, along with two pillows and a blanket.

"We'll stay in touch, yeah? If you ever need anything, I'll be right here." He reassures you, lying beside you, hands behind his head.

You smile yet you cannot bring yourself to promise him the same because you know your mother would do everything in her power to push the two of you apart, even to the point of physically hurting Changbin. You would never want that so you'd rather distance yourself and let Changbin forget about you. And maybe, just maybe fate would be a little nicer to you and decide to bring you into his life again. Many years later.

He presses a soft kiss to your head, "You'll always be my best friend, y/n. I don't care how far we are."

It takes everything in your being to not repeat the words.

*

"Changbin, come on we're getting you to the hospital this instant, okay?" Mrs. Seo is furious next morning, running from room to room, looking through the list of doctors she'd saved just in case of emergency.

When she looks at her son, sitting on the sofa with one of his eye irises turning a glowing red, she is reassured that this is an emergency.

"How did this even happen, mom? I swear I didn't try to do anything funny with my eye." He murmurs, scared, "It feels so itchy, gosh!"

Mrs.Seo looks at him with concern just when the doctor picks the call, "Oh, hello Dr.Lee! Thank god you picked up!"

After his mom walks out of his room, Changbin quickly types you a text,

Binnie: Hey. Did you leave already?

Y/nnie: No not yet. We've stopped at the doctor's.

Changbin's eyes widen in alarm.

Binnie: What why?

You look at your face in the decorative mirror at the doctor's waiting room, one of your irises burning into a bright shade of ruby.

Y/nnie: Mom's running a cold.

You close the messenger app before he even replies, deciding to change your number and deleting all your old contacts as soon as you move into your new house. And as much as it hurt you, this one text turned out to be the last time Changbin and you ever talked.

*

It has been raining all day, which means you were stuck in your goddamn house with nothing to do but cry about Changbin and your lost friendship and your broken heart.

After you manage to get some food into your body during dinner time, you crawl back to your room and look into the mirror as you comb your hair and moisturize your skin.

(Self care is important, y'all)

Your red iris stares back at you, taunting your mistakes and calling you a coward.

If only you had still tried to keep in touch with him, if only that stupid accident wouldn't have happened in the first place, if only.

Suddenly, a knock on your balcony door makes you jump in your place.

Shit. Is it a burglar?

You grab the closest thing that could be classified as a weapon - which happens to be an umbrella.

The knocking continues.

"Y/n, it's Changbin." He yells, "Can I please talk to you?"

You freeze in your spot.

Why in the world is he here? Does he have anything worse to say? Is he here to invite you to his wedding? But why would he sneak in through the balcony when he can easily ring the main door bell.

"Y/n, are you in there?"

You quickly walk upto the door and slide it open, revealing Changbin, completely drenched in the rain. His wet hair stuck to his face and "Shit. What the- God, come inside!"

He obeys and tiptoes inside your room, a guilty expression plastered on his face.

You guide him directly to the bathroom and offer him a towel.

"What are you even doing here, Bin?" You lean against the door frame, hands crossed over your chest.

He is drying his hair with the towel when he looks up at you as if to answer your question but he stops. His mouth hangs open as his eyes remain glued to your face.

And that's when you realize why he looks so surprised.

"Shit- fuck." You turn around immediately, "my lenses," you mutter to yourself.

But before you can even walk upto your dressing table, Changbin has caught your wrist and spun you around, pulling you closer to his body.

"Your eye." He let's out a shaky breath.

"Yes, I know. Please don't freak out. It's always been like this after -"

"After the accident." He finishes your sentence, "I know."

Your mouth runs dry as his face draws in closer, "What do you mean you know? What do you know?"

He let's go of your wrist and takes a step back, turning around so that his back faces you.

And when he turns to look at you again, you swear you could have passed out there and then.

"Y-you have it too." You whisper, weak in the knees, "You have a red iris too."

Changbin gives you a small smile, "Yes, y/n."

"But why? What does this mean?" You say, "Is it a symptom of some chronic illness?"

"It's a soul mark."

"What's a soul mark?"

"It's a mark that exists on the bodies of soulmates."

You feel a pang in your chest; like someone was squeezing your heart out of your chest.

"Right," You fall back onto the bed, dazed with the sudden piece of information, "And how do you know all this?"

Changbin kneels down in front of you, hands finding yours. He looks more relaxed than he did since the first day you come back to town.

It almost feels like you had been given back your old friend.

"I've been doing my research, y/n. After you left, this is all I've been doing." He says, "This is also the reason why I had gotten engaged. By that time, I had given up on finding a soulmate. So I just settled for whatever I got. I didn't even feel bad when I found out my fiance was not in love with me. For the world, we might look like a happy couple, but truly, it was just a marriage of convenience for our parents' business."

You bite your lips wondering how to respond to these words. He'd laid bare his heart in front of you, something you never thought he'd do ever again.

"What now?" You say, tired.

He intertwines your fingers, "Also, I'm sorry for yesterday. I shouldn't have said all that."

You nod, "It's alright. I know you didn't mean it. And for the record, I and Chan have nothing going on."

"And for the record, I also broke off my engagement."

Your eyes widen as a gasp leaves your lips, "What? Why?"

"Because when I told my parents that I do not love my fiancé, and that I have only ever loved you, they said my happiness was more important than their business."

When you don't reply to his words, he looks worried, "Hey, you don't have to feel burdened to like me back and all okay? Literally, if you want me to leave you alone, I will. I understand-"

You pull him by the nape and place the softest, gentlest, most sincere kiss on his lips.

"I feel the same way, dumbass." You sigh as you pull him into your arms.

He muzzles his face in the crook of your neck, playing with your hair from behind, "So what now?"

"Let's start with a date." You say, "Let's take it slow."

Changbin wraps his arms tighter around you, kissing your cheek, "As you wish, my love. "

[1plus1kiyoomi]

Chapter 8: Actions Speak Louder Than Words

[prev] [next]

[masterlist]

“Are you sure your grandma won’t mind taking care of Rice today?” You ask Kita as you two go back to your car. He humms, starting the engine of the car. “She’s really nice and down to earth. No wonder why you’re such a good boy.”

“You call me good boy as if I’m Rice,” Kita sighs, and follows the map on the monitor.

“Well, like father like son,” you chuckle and you hear him click his tongue in annoyance.

“Where are we going anyways?” Kita changes the topic, eyes on the road.

“You’ll see when we get there,” you say excitedly.

Kita continues to drive for about 10 more minutes until the navigation devive announces that you two have arrived at your destination. You hop out of the car and Kita follows behind you. You skip going to the elevator of the building, thrilled about the date you planned.

You two arrived in front of the entrance of the store and Kita reads one of the posters posted outside in confusion. “Learn how to bake treats for you and your furry friend...”

“If you wanted to bake, we could have just done it at home,” he tells you as you enter the store.

You sushed him and proceeded to the counter. “I don’t want to do the dishes.”

“Lazy ass,” he mumbles, but you hear, making you kick his calf weakly. You continue to speak with the lady behind the counter to confirm and pay for your reservation.

You have rented the whole place for a time period for the two of you. Since you’ve posted that video with him, fans have been speculated on who he is and are making theories. Being seen in public and risking his privacy are two of the things you least want on your date right now.

“You’ve reserved the whole place this morning, Miss (L/N). And you wanted to make dog treats, and cookies?” The staff confirms with you and you just nod and hand her your card. Kita sighs in disbelief. He didn’t want you to spend so much on your date. “Please come this way.”

She leads you to the kitchen where all baking needs are arranged. It was like the Sugar Rush kitchen but in brighter colors. “You requested for the recipe only tutorial so here is the tablet where you can find all the recipes you’ve requested. Your aprons are here. If you need anything, just press this button and we will assist you.” The staff instructs before leaving you and Kita alone in the kitchen.

Once she’s out of sigh, Kita turns to you. “Isn’t someone supposed to teach us or something?”

You look away, your lips pressed into a pout. “I wanted to spend this time alone with you so I kind of reserved a different type of class,” you explain to him.

He chuckles and messes your hair. “Let’s start baking then. Since you wanted to make a lot today.” He goes at the counter where your aprons are located.

“Can I set up my camera here? Just for documentation. I won’t post it,” you tell him and he nods. You set up the camera and go to the counter as well.

The pink aprons had your names embroidered on it as it’s included in your package. He puts it on without hesitance and hands you yours. While you are trying to tie the back of your apron, Kita approaches you and ties it from in front of you. Basically, he’s hugging you.

He notices your red face and asks you about it. “What’s wrong with you?” You don’t answer him and hold up the tablet to your face. You aggressively look for the first recipe, not able to look at him in embarrassment.

“First, we’re gonna make the sweet potato biscuits. Baby, can you get these ingredients for me? 1/2 cup peanut butter, then sweet potato puree in the same measurement. 4 eggs. 6 cups of whole wheat flour,” you narrate and Kita goes to the shelves to get them for you. You start preparing the ingredients while Kita preheats the oven and cleans the baking trays.

“These are a lot. I don’t think Rice can finish all of these,” Kita states, scrolling through the tablet to check the next recipes you will be following.

“It’s not all for Rice. It’s for the dogs I’m going to adopt.” You start and Kita has his eyebrows raised already from the word dogs. “I’m actually planning to start a foundation on stray and unwanted dogs. I plan to adopt all the dogs in the city compound and provide them a safer and friendlier shelter before they find a home. I found this abandoned land near our place and bought it last week. I’m still looking for someone who can feed and look after the dogs full-time since I’m busy with school.”

You mix the puree, peanut butter, and eggs first. Then, add the flour last. Kita just watches you, admiring you from the side. You sounded so proud and passionate about your plan. His heart beats faster just from the thought of it. He knows how busy you are with school and your work, but you still manage to spare some time in helping these dogs.

“Don’t just look at me, babe. Help me shape these treats,” you complain and he stands next to you. The new pet name causing him to smile for a bit. He starts rolling the dough in silence and you wait for him to finish, the cutter shaped in a dog bone in your hand.

You put the treats in the oven to bake for 13 minutes. While you two wait, you start making the frozen. Your eyes are stuck on the screen, looking for the perfect flavor for Rice. “I think he’ll like the peanut butter and banana more.”

“Nope. Strawberry and mangoes.” Kita disagrees with you.

“I know our son better than you. We’re making the banana and peanut butter,” you argue but he doesn’t give any reactions. “Fine. Let’s make both and see which he likes more later.”

You both start making the dog-friendly frozen yogurt. Your recipe only needed a cup of yogurt, 1/4 cup peanut butter and one mashed banana. ‘It seems edible,’ you think before taking a spoonful and eating it. ‘Weird but not bad.’ Kita catches you on act and he grimaces at what you just did. “It’s human food!”

“We’re making this for a dog,” he rebuts. You take a look at his yogurt mixture, and stretch your arm to his mixing bowl. He moves it away from you but you go after it. He stretches his arm up, holding his bowl in the air. “No. This is for Rice.”

“It’s just yogurt with mangoes and strawberries!” You fold your arms together, glaring at him.

“Are you Rice?” He deadpans so you turn and go back to your area. Kita puts the bowl back on the counter top, looking at you from time to time to make sure you won’t eat from it. He looks at the mixture he made and pokes his spoon in it. He licks the back of the spoon and you see it.

“See! You’re doing it!” You point and try to take a spoon from his bowl again, but he quickly hides it from you. “You’re a meanie!” You stick your tongue out at home and he mirrors your action, annoying you. “It doesn’t matter. Rice will like my frozen yogurt better.”

You hear the oven’s alarm go off so you forget about your little banter and run to the oven. You open it and quickly touch the steel tray, forgetting that it’s hot. You wince in pain and Kita clicks his tongue before going over with oven mitts. He takes the trays out and puts it on the counter to cool.

“Let me see your hand,” he orders you, removing the mitts from his hand and placing it beside the trays.

“It’s fine. It was a quick touch anyways,” you put your hand behind your back but Kita gently grabs your wrist to expose your burnt fingers. He slowly pushes your head back with his finger on your forehead, causing you to giggle because you know what’s about to come. Before he can start to scold you, you beat him to it. “I’m so clumsy and excited. I should be more careful next time.”

He narrows his eyes at you before giving the treats his full attention. Yours is also back on the treats, not minding the uncomfortable burn on your fingers. You don’t want to ruin your date just because you got hurt from your very own actions.

“Try it.” Kita takes one piece and hands it to you. Shaking your head, you for an x using your arms. “Why not? We made this with human food.” He tries to convince you using your own words. Hesitantly, you take the treat from his hand and take a small bite. You spit it out immediately and he starts laughing.

“It tastes awful! It’s like dirt!” You complain, running to the water dispenser at the corner of the room. “I hate you!” You stay away from him, upset.

“Come back here,” he tells you but you shake your head. “I’ll take a bite, too. Just come back here.” You slowly take small steps towards him, a cup of water ready for him. He takes a small bite from the treat and then another one. You gasp in disgust, moving away from him again. “You’re over reacting. It does not taste that bad. It’s actually pretty good.”

You gag from his words and he pulls you back by your wrist. You offer him the cup of water and takes it. “No wonder why Rice likes eating dirt.”

“How do you know what dirt tastes like?” Kita asks you, turning the tables. You chuckle sarcastically before looking at him.

“Oh, you’re changing the topic now, baby?” You give him a sly look and he just shrugs. You leave the treats alone to cool and you two proceed to making the cookies.

The Chocolate Chip Cookie Recipe

Ingredients

227 g unsalted butter, room temperature

1 cup brown sugar

3/4 cup caster sugar (or white sugar)

1 large egg

2 Tbsp water

1 and 1/2 tsp vanilla extract

2 cups flour, sifted

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp kosher salt

chocolate chips

“Okay so first you cut the butter into smaller pieces and cream it with both of the sugar,” you read the instructions on the tablet. Kita takes a whisk and starts creaming it manually. “You’re not going to use the electric mixer babe?” You look at his arm and his sleeve is tightening on his bicep from whisking. “You know what, stick to what you’re doing. You’ve already started it.” You lean your elbows on the counter, and goggle on his arm muscles. ‘To be held by those arms and chok-.’

“Done. What’s next?” His voice snaps you out of your thoughts. You hurriedly look for the tablet, obviously distracted. ‘She really was just staring at my arms the whole time.’

“Next is to add an egg, water, and the vanilla extract,” you instruct and he follows. You on the other hand, prepare the dry ingredients. You sift the flour, salt and baking soda, creating a fog made of the powders.

“(Y/N),” Kita calls you sternly so you carefully do it this time. Scared, you clean up the dusts of flour on the counter. You give the dry ingredients to Kita and he mixes it together. It’s time to choose to the chocolate chips.

“Milk chocolate.”

“Dark chocolate.”

You competitively stare at each other before Kita grabs both. He puts 1/4 cup of each, but you’re unsatisfied. “More.”

“If I add more this will just become a chocolate chip with cookie,” Kita tells you. You take the jars of chocolate chips and pour more. Kita takes a deep breath in, extending his patience. He mixes the chips with the dough then puts it in the fridge so you’ll stop adding more chocolate to it.

The dog treats have dried so you look for a packaging. You find a cute little paper pouch and decide to use it. You grab a random tape and pen from the stationary station. You sit on one of the stools and put your phone on the counter.

“Baby help me name the dogs.” You request to Kita and he obliges. He sits beside you, very much interested in naming the dogs with you. “So luckily, there are only 20 dogs at the pound. So we need to put three pieces of treats per bag. You put the treats in and I’ll write their names on the bag.”

“Okay,” Kita complies and you scroll through your phone to find the photo album of the dogs. This is one of the times he finds you serious and loves the look on you. He likes you being playful and childish, but he digs this relaxed and composed personality as well.

You show him a picture of a dog, a smile growing on your face. Your smile is infecting him, he can’t hold his in. “She’s cute right? Should we name her Carrot? She has a brother who we should name Pumpkin.”

“You’re naming the dogs after crops?” Kita raises an eyebrow and you nod eagerly. “It’s because of Rice’s name, isn’t it?”

“They’re Rice’s siblings, babe. It’s normal to name them after crops.” You explain, writing the name Carrot on the paper bag. He scoffs, his smile growing even wider. He leans his elbow on the counter, the side of his head on his palm. A strand of hair drapes on your face, so his free hand tucks it on the back of your hair. You eye from the side, his stare and action causing you to turn red.

“We should name the dog Tomato,” he suggests, obviously making fun of your blushing face. “To give tribute to your face right now.”

After baking the cookies and putting them in packages, the two of you head to Osamu’s store for takeout and give him your baked goodies. You then head to his grandmother’s house to pick Rice up.

“Oh, it really is not Ayako,” his grandmother, says and Kita stiffens. “I was wondering why she was acting like a stranger this morning. What’s your name dear?”

“(Y/N),” you say politely, suspicious of Kita’s sudden change in behavior.

“Are you my Shinsuke’s girlfriend?” She asks you and you look at Kita. This will determine your relationship.

“She’s a friend,” Kita answers, breaking your heart. And you thought you were something after that kiss and your date today. “We’re heading out now. I’ll visit you soon. Don’t forget about your checkups, okay?”

Your can’t even think of anything. Kita’s words are repeating in your head like a broken record.

‘She’s a friend.’

‘She’s only a friend.’

‘She’s only my friend.’

‘I’m a friend.’

‘I’m only friend.’

‘I’m only his friend.’

“(Y/N), let’s go,” Kita calls you, Rice already in his arms. You politely bow to his grandmother before following after him. You go back to your car, more quiet than usual. Rice is sleeping on your lap, probably tired from playing with Kita’s grandmother the whole morning. “You’re quiet. What’s wrong?”

“Do you really see me just a friend?” You finally ask, looking out of the window. He puts the gear on parking mode, and his hand goes reaches out to squeeze your cheeks before he makes you face him.

“I only said that because my grandmother watches your videos. If I say yes, she’ll most likely share it to her friends, the nurses and doctors at the hospital, and pretty much anyone she knows,” Kita explains, letting go of your cheeks.

‘You didn’t even answer my question.’ You give up from fighting any further, already tired from baking. You close your eyes and force yourself to sleep so you won’t think about his words. Sleeping the whole ride, you are shock too see that you’re already back to your house.

The three of you enter the house, and head straight to the dining room to eat. After eating, Kita hands you the frozen yogurt he made at the baking studio. “I made another one for you. It’s with your favorite fruits.”

You are still sulking from his words, but you are weak for his actions. You take a clean spoon and start munching on the frozen yogurt. He takes your burnt hand, so you stop eating. He puts your fingers near his lips and he kisses them. You choke on the yogurt, surprised by his move.

“I wanted to do that since a while ago but we were in public,” he tells you, then shifts his body closer to yours. He cups your cheeks and pulls your face close to his. “This, too.” He plants a short kiss on your lips then moves away from. “Get some sleep. You look tired.”

‘Actions speak louder than words, (Y/N). Actions speak louder than words.’

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Facts:

It's important to mix your dry ingredients in the right order, because all of your ingredients are fighting for water.

The absence of sugar in a confection allows flour proteins to create gluten, which is why gluten-free foods contain high amounts of sugar.

Egg yolks contain something called lipids, a special kind of fat that adds color and flavor to cookies.

Cheesecakes date back to Roman times, when mild, milky cheeses got a jolt of sweetness from honey.

[prev] [next]

Note: I was supposed to post this chapter 3 hours ago, but I fell asleep watching this ASMR baking video HAHAHAHAHA

Taglist: @vicassa  @ptv-hades @steggy4ever  @booklover240  @toripersonalacc @mkazuyuh  @smoltiddygf  @adrasteiaxandromedaa @leinnah  @a-applepi @kellesvt @xxlightsaberxx  @youpieceofwasabi @bandolls @wheelzzzies @apollochjld @sakusa-simp @neomuxuxi @aquzairus @ynjimenez @sempiternal-amour  @tnu-ree @mindofess @alittlebitofrain @agaashesmilktea​  @ynjimenez @sempiternal-amour @diyosku @dinablossom @atomicpie1115 @lililiynx @onlyshinji @melodiamore @bunnybitesthedust @angrylittleriri @rogueofbullshit @8zmingi @aam1na @yuueisteria @4kaashl  @ohhoneyvee @amberisnotcrazy @kouffee-ink

[migilini]

What The Heart Wants - Charlie Gillespie

Request: The reader is madly in love with Charlie who is her best friend but he’s dating and in love with her sister yk? Make it angst and sadcharlie

a/n: Sorry it took me so long! I’m so stressed with school atm so i bearly had time to write at all. I still hope you like it and that I went into the right direction. Don’t know how angsty it is.

Words: 2.3k

Warnings: a little angst

MASTERLIST

-------------

As a teenager you spent a lot of your free time watching pretty much every rom-com that was out there, the thought of true love ignited a spark of hope in your heart. You loved the way that the characters on screen always were meant to be together, the way their love just seemed to be or else life isn't worth living.

Maybe your image of love was flawed and unrealistic. Maybe you always fell in love with the idea of a person rather than the person itself. Maybe your standards were too high and maybe that's why all your previous relationships didn't seem to work out.

And then you met him. Kinda ironic really, love, at first sight, was always your least favourite trope. But there he was, sitting alone at the table in the otherwise crowded cafeteria. His brown hair fell into his eyes while he played with the mashed potatoes on his plate, he was bopping his head to something. You took a big breath, collected all your courage that you didn't use growing up and sat down across from him.

The stranger looked up with furrowed eyebrows "S-sorry there isn't another free table." you stuttered and sent him a small, flustered smile. The boy took out an earbud "Sorry?" you started to blush, your eyes wide "Oh I- sorry I- was uhm... is it okay if I sit here?"

"Yeah yeah sure." the stranger answered and shot you a smile and gosh was that smile beautiful. If this was your way to die then so be it. "I'm Asher by the way."

"Y/N. Nice to meet you." you waved with three fingers.

After that Asher took you under his wings, introduced you to all his friends, took you to parties and most importantly helped to grow your self-confidence. You always knew who you were but with him, it was the first time where you could actually show off the real you, there wasn't a part of you that you had to hide to fit in.

Nevertheless, he wasn't your best friend. You two spent a lot of time together yes, but you didn't share a lot of secrets, your topics always being superficial. Yet, the crush on him only grew. The two of you were picture book perfect. Asher threw you into the water at the beach, screamed to lyrics in the car with you or even went shopping with you.

"Just this one party I promise," he whined one day, shoving more dresses in your chest. You huffed "Is this why you agreed to come thrifting with me? To get on my good side?" Asher smiled cheekily "Guilty. I know you don't know the people there but I really want you to go." he tried to persuade.

You looked up at him through your eyelashes, trying to hide the smirk on your lips. You liked to see him throw a little tantrum. "Fine. But you'll pay for my dress."

The host of the party seemed nice enough and you hoped to god that the guests were the same. LED Lights illuminated the living room in a dark purple. The music blaring so loud, that you could feel the beat in your heart. "Y/N this is my good buddy Charlie. Charlie this is Y/N one of the baddest people I know." Asher screamed over the music, one of his arms draped over your figure. The party just getting started as more people walked through the front door.

You gave Charlie a hug and smiled up at him. "Hi!"

"Hello." he smiled back and your breath got stuck in your throat for a good second. Suddenly Asher had competition for the prettiest smile in the world. The boy with the mischievous spark in his eye really challenged your rankings.

You didn't intend to spend the night practically glued to Charlies hip. Asher was nowhere to be found, probably smoking somewhere with his buddies and the two of you were just naturally drawn to each other. He goes to get a new drink and a minute later, without discussing it beforehand, you do the exact same thing. Or you go on the small balcony to get some fresh air and Charlie joins you a couple of minutes later, casually leaning against the railing next to you.

"I figured that I would find you out here." he nearly whispered into the night. "Yeah it seems like you've been stalking me the whole night." you teased with raised eyebrows, a slight smirk playing on your lips. Charlie's hand immediately covered his heart. "I would never! And there I was, thinking I had the honour of you stalking me."

"Alright, Teds. If it makes you happy yes of course I was chasing after your pretty ass." you winked and he let out a heartful laugh.

"Teds?" he asked.

You shrugged your shoulders and slid down the railing, your front, facing the glass doors. The party inside was raging, with people dancing, kissing, talking and laughing. Only the faint noise of the newest pop song carried its way out to you.

"You're wearing a shirt with many teddy bears on it. It only made sense."

You and Charlie spent the rest of the night outside, the conversation flowing naturally and if there was a quick silence it wasn't awkward at all. Lucky for you, the party was in the middle of the summer so you didn't mind that much that you forgot to bring a jacket outside.

After the party you and Charlie spent a lot of time together, going to museums, road trips, camping or even just hanging out in one of your apartments. Inert weeks he was your best friend and over the years of friendship, you started to develop feelings for the Canadian.

He had helped you calm down right before your first date with Asher, who finally had the guts to ask you out and picked up the pieces after you got broken up with. Asher's last words before he left, never leaving your mind: "Truthfully I think you're in love with someone else Y/N. You just haven't figured it out yet but I know. I look at you the way you look at them."

Several months later, on a trip with your family and Charlie, you realised that Asher was indeed telling you the truth and you had been slowly falling for someone else.

It was late evening, the stars started to creep up on the sky, while the sun sank lower and lower behind the trees, illuminating the world in a pretty blend of oranges and pinks. The group sat around a small fire that cracked every now and then, filling the air with warmth. Everybody was exhausted from the big hike. Trees rustled somewhere in the background. A soft melody caught you off guard, completely ripping you out of your own thoughts.

Charlie sat a couple of feet away from you, across from your sister and mother. He was playing his guitar with no special song in mind. He settled on a melody that you didn't seem to recognize but you didn't care. Charlie looked beautiful.

Over the last year, he grew out his hair, which was now in a loose bun in the crook of his neck, some stray hairs falling in his face. The warm light from the fire highlighted his features in the exact right way. His eyes sparkled with joy. Before he started to sing the song, he looked over at you and smiled. It was the same smile that haunted you since then. The one that made your heart beat faster, the one that still took your breath away, the thing you couldn't shake off and also the one thing you couldn't live without.

While you stared at Charlie during the duration of the song, your heart swelling at the sight of him. He did the same to your sister. His eyes memorising every crook of her face from her arched eyebrows down to the roundness of her lips.

It didn't surprise you at all. Growing up everybody either wanted to be her or be with her. She was naturally gorgeous with long, luscious hair and an amazing body. She had decent grades and was always nice to everybody. The embodiment of the girl next door. It was hard to build a reputation that wasn't ‘Sam’s little sister’.

Looking back, that was probably why you liked Asher's attention so much. It was the first time someone saw you for yourself.

But what did shock you was that eventually, the two became a couple. Looks-wise they fit perfectly together that much was true but you couldn't wrap your head around them when it came to personality. From your romcoms, you knew that opposites attract yet Sam and Charlie are more than opposites. Not to say that you didn't love your sister, you really did, that was the main reason why the news shocked you so much. He liked to travel the world, not to be tied to one place for a long time. He was spontaneous and carefree, always down for a new adventure or a new adrenaline kick. Sam on the other hand wanted to take over dad's business in her hometown where she already went to school and college. Ever since she was little, she dreamed of a big family that was gonna grow up in the house she grew up in. Sam didn't like leaving her little bubble, her days always planned down to the second.

Neither of them noticed your heart breaking a little more every time they kissed right in front of you or the longing looks you gave Charlie. Both tried to include you in their adventures, taking you to the cinema with them, to IKEA and Disneyland. Still, you couldn't shake the feeling that they weren't quite meant for each other. However, you kept your mouth shut just, always smiling their way, not mentioning that Charlie never went on Road Trips anymore or that Sam seemed to smile less.

“I think I want to marry her.”

You nearly spat out your drink, the fist in front of your mouth only holding back a little. The water dripped down your arm and onto the couch.

“What now?” you coughed and turned to the other person chilling at your apartment.

“You heard me right. My acting career is taking off and all the travelling made me realise that she is the one.” he smiled with a lopsided grin.

You furrowed your eyebrows, desperately trying to hide the hurt that flashed in your eyes. After trying, again and again, to get over Charlie you lost all hope. No other man even slightly compared to him, you tried to forget about him you really did. However, your heart believes that he was the man for you.

“Don’t the two of you want completely different things?” you switched into the best-friend mode, locking the jealous side away.

Now it was Charlie's turn to be confused, “What do you mean? We’ve been together for nearly two years now.”

“I just mean that she never expressed the desire to travel the world. She wants to have a big family and be a mom. Is she gonna travel to your jobs with you? Are you giving up your career to be at home with her? I just think there are so many things the two of you need to discuss before you take this step.” you expressed your concern while playing with the hem of the blanket covering you.

He stared at you for moments. Neither of you was speaking, the gears in his brain working in overload.

“Look I’m not saying that you shouldn't ask her to marry you. If that's what makes you happy, be happy. It's what I care about. I’m just saying you have a completely different view of the world.” you rambled, your eyes not meeting his anymore.

Was he mad? He normally spoke his thoughts out loud.

He lets out a sigh as he rubbed his hands over his face “Yes I know that you're right...but my gut is telling me that she's the one...” your heart cracked “and I couldn't forgive myself if I didn't ask, even if it ends up not working and you were right with your concerns. But knowing us, we will make it work. Compromise a lot, build a worldview together as a married couple.”

He smiled at you and your heartbeat quickened “I also kinda need your blessing.” he sheepishly said, slightly biting his lip.

You tried to keep your thoughts clear. “My blessing?”

Charlie nodded excitedly “Yes! I figured since you’re my best friend and she's also your sister I would ask you if you would be okay with that… I know we never asked if you're comfortable with us dating in the first place.”

“Oh, Teds," you whined, using the old nickname you had for him. "No need to ask me! As I said your happiness is my priority.” you smiled so wide that it hurt your cheeks, blinking rapidly to dissolve the tears that formed in your eyes.

He tackled you in a bone-crushing hug, placing wet and sloppy kisses all over your forehead. “Thank you. thank you. thank you! You don't know how much this means to me!”

Growing up, watching the Notebook, About Time, 10 things to hate about you, PS: I love you and many others, love always seemed inevitable, somehow it would work out. You would've never thought that you would be jealous of your sister's engagement. Who would have predicted that both sisters were gonna fall for the same guy, that one sister was happy while the other hated herself for yearning for him as well?

The 25-year-old version of you despised the 15-year-old version for loving these goddamn rooms, for believing in a soulmate, one true love, love for everyone but mostly for believing in an own happy ending.

------------------------

Taglist: @alluringworld