#The Straight Way Lost | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bylertruther · 2 years

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not to be too real but since we're talking about it... we always talk about will feeling lonely which is fair, but... it is such an Ugly, isolating, and genuinely heart-wrenching feeling to be the odd one out in your family, and to watch them treat others who aren't related to you the way you wish they would treat you, to watch them perform their familial roles with them and not you.

nancy's the only person in his family that mike could talk to, the only person that has the same trauma and would understand, and yet... he can't. they don't ever talk unless it's to be snippy and bite. nancy spends more time caring about max and will than she does mike, her own little brother.

holly is too young for him to bond with like that. she's just barely a kid, one that still needs to be cared for.

his mom tries her best, but he doesn't feel comfortable being vulnerable with her. considering the fact that she did everything "right" according to society's standards and married their dad of all people, i doubt he feels comfortable showing her who he really is. he lets her hug him when he's at his lowest, but we don't see them actually connecting.

his dad is just some ghost that haunts his house. he doesn't care about mike or think highly of him at all. the only times we've seen him pay mike any attention are when he belittles his interests, mocks him, punishes him, or shuts him down by telling him to listen to his mother. the only support he gets from him is financial in nature.

meanwhile, everyone else has a family they can turn to. dustin, despite lying to his mother to keep her out of his shenanigans, seems to have a decent relationship with her. even if he doesn't, he still has steve and robin. lucas is shown to have a healthy relationship with his parents and erica. will and el have their family.

max's situation is different, but she has the backing of the party; people that love her and actively try to help her and pull her back into the world of the living. she isn't thrust into a leadership role that doesn't allow for vulnerability. she has nancy who is willing to fight monsters for her, el who literally performed a miracle for her, and lucas who has stood by her since the beginning.

and mike... well. he has will back now, sure, but... things have been different between them for a long time now, even if they're both trying their best to be how they were before. and before then, will obviously was in california, not returning his calls or reaching out, making mike feel like he'd lost him for good.

so... all that being said, it's not that surprising that mike is the way he is: riddled with abandonment issues, wanting to be needed, immediately apologizing whenever he dares to open up, inclined to give others the protection and comfort no one's ever given him, prone to jealousy and possessiveness, unable to be completely and wholly honest about what troubles him, not exactly the most open to new people, and someone with appallingly low self-esteem.

you know how they say people that are drowning don't always look like they're drowning? that's mike.

#mike #mine #wheeler #mike analysis #byler #i can't think abt him for longer than two seconds bc then i make myself sad lol <3 #will's story is fucked up but at least he has people that love him and help him and SEE him and that he feels comfortable being his #true self with. but mike? :/ sigh.#mike just bottles it up and overcompensates / gets his mind off of it by caring for someone else.#like in the van scene when he's opening up to will and then immediately tries to deflect bc he thinks it's not important.#like... mike... you ARE important. you're feelings aren't stupid. you aren't some worthless loser with nothing to offer people.#the way that he talks about himself and the lack of support he has in his life is like ... actually so fucking sad lmao!#bc he spent all that time with el and sent her all those letters and yet they never actually got to know each other. it wasn't anything of #value. it was just company. and he had will but things started changing and mike felt like will was pulling away from him. then they both #moved across the country and he tried to call will all those times but couldn't reach him. and then will never reached out first so he just #straight up felt like he'd lost will. and the remaining party members are great but like mike says they aren't will. so he was just alone.#bites my own hand bites my own hand bites my own hand bites—

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vasito-de-leche · 8 months

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;NSR DJSS - General Headcanons

Compilation of headcanons and analysis about DJ Subatomic Supernova and other related things.

I got an ask asking for DJSS' love languages (don't worry! working on it!) but then it hit me that I don't think enough about DJSS to talk about love languages right away, so I'm getting this out of my system to try and fleshen out the way I write him!

this might be, a BIT TOO LONG BC I GOT CARRIED AWAY RIGHT FROM THE START BC EVE WAS INVOLVED AND I LOVE HER

The most healthy and solid friendship DJSS has is with Eve.

Eve's post is still fresh on my mind, so it got me thinking about how DJSS and Eve are very similar - like, two sides of the same coin, or two opposites in the same spectrum. But before I get carried away, let's talk about DJSS.

Out of all megastars within NSR, DJSS is very clearly the one with the least amount of connections to other characters, at least in the way he's presented in-game. Like, all of them are connected to NSR and Tatiana because they work for her, that's obvious - but the Sayu Gang have each other, Yinu has her parents, Neon J has 1010, Eve and DK West both have Zuke and Tatiana/NSR respectively. Tatiana has Kliff, the Goolings and Mayday.

DJSS is just. There?

Maybe it's because he's the tutorial boss, but very similarly to Eve, themes of loneliness and not being appreciated enough or understood are prominent in his background. The casettes literally show him spiraling from an underappreciated but very passionate teacher to a very influential but egocentric megastar.

There's just something about how DJSS and Eve share loneliness as a theme. And how both of them also fully embody their work, becoming a personification of their craft and passions so that their self-worth and identity is DIRECTLY tied to how said passions are received and perceived. To others, music and art are simply an extension of themselves, an important part of their lives, not the whole of it. But DJSS and Eve? You can't separate them from their work. Again, the Sayu Gang are a bunch of teens bonding over a shared interest. Yinu is a megastar BECAUSE of her family, not by CHOICE, she plays the piano FOR her deceased father. Neon J is, first and foremost, a war veteran and protector of Vinyl City before he is a musician, even if dancing and music are his passions.

There is also something to be said about how their respective journeys are opposites of each other yet end the same way. They've gotten what they've wanted, but they're stagnant and unfulfilled.

We see DJSS starting as a starry-eyed teacher, thanking the THREE students AND A JANITOR who came to his lessons because he's grateful for anyone who will listen to him. He's using his passion and work to teach others and expand their minds and whatever other cool one-liners he says in his videos and cutscenes. This directly mirrors Eve, who starts as a self-loathing, deeply insecure artist who uses art as a way to cope and vent. (If you read my Eve post, throwback to the duality theme - outside and inside. DJSS is channeling his work to the world, to the outside. He's looking for people who understand him. Nadia is channeling her work to herself, to the inside. She's looking to understand herself.)

The middle part of their whole journey shows a moment of introspection and healing for both of them.

DJSS reconnects with his love for music and the reason he even became a teacher in the first place - not out of love for teaching (which is another point I wanna talk about later in this post) but for a genuine love and intrigue for the universe. After years of trying to get anyone to listen, he finally remembers how it feels to look up at the sky. He finds a way to merge both music and space as a means to further his goal.

Eve heals because she believes she's found someone who can complete her, someone who isn't herself but who can understand and see her just as good. She doesn't hide her pink side, she doesn't hide her face with her hair, she is shown to be very, very lively, excited and intense. This is the moment she realizes she can be understood and loved, all the things she saw as impossible before meeting Zuke. Her art reflects this, she can now focus on something other than hating herself.

(It's very important to me that we remember her heart piece with Zuke is made out of recycled bottles. Both DJSS and Eve were shown to have this thing for helping others - DJSS through teaching and Eve through art.)

And then, their last collectible shows them at their worst.

DJSS has finally managed to be influential enough to have thousands of people actually pay attention to what he's saying. And he explicitly says that, even though he's gotten this far, he feels empty. And he feels empty because all of his work will disappear, because he will be forgotten in a few generations. And we see how music has replaced his love for the universe, it's a subtle shift in which DJSS goes from wanting to learn and teach others about something he's deeply passionate about from wanting his music and hard work to live on forever through space.

There's a metaphor somewhere in there about DJSS' legacy being not his work as a teacher, astrophycisist or even a pillar of the EDM movement - but a few of his songs. Attached to an NSR satellite. Going through the empty void of space.

And then there's Nadia, all alone again. Because she's gotten so comfortable with the idea of being understood, that she expected Zuke to see everything the same way she did, and therefore setting his hair on fire wouldn't be that big of an issue. And this is her worst fear, but it doesn't hurt as much as she thought it would - because she's expected this to happen at some point, even when she was at her happiest with Zuke.

I want to draw a line between this moment and the way their loneliness permeates in their words and actions - DJSS who has tried for years to reach out to like-minded people, finally has an audience that respects him, he still feels unfulfilled and empty. And he further distances himself from everything by setting his sights and his legacy on THE COLD VACUUM OF SPACE. Eve, who has always believed she would end up alone, IS NOW ALONE AND ABANDONED (from her perspective anyways, since it would be unfair to say Zuke was a horrible monster for leaving a relationship this complex) and yet she doubles down on finding someone like her.

DJSS states that no one is able to think like him, no one within NSR shares his ambition nor vision - he's resigned. Eve states that she will bring everyone to her level one way or another - she's desperate. Two sides of the same coin. Two extreme opposites in the same spectrum.

It all boils down to believing that somewhere out there, whether in Vinyl City or the universe, there's someone who can really appreciate them.

The two conceal a sense of inferiority, the difference being that Eve's comes from a place of pure, genuine hatred for herself (if her work can't be understood, she can't be understood. if her work can't be appreciated, she can't be appreciated) and DJSS' comes from a place of blind confidence in his own potential and ideas (if his work cannot be understood, it's because no one has the ability to understand it. if his work cannot be appreciated, it's because no one is sensible enough to appreciate it).

There is also something about how, at their worst and/or when they feel threatened, they seem to switch?

This is most notable in Eve's boss fight, in which she acts condescending and dismissive to both Mayday and Zuke - saying all the things she knows will hurt just for the sake of hurting Zuke. She establishes her superiority over those who can't understand her, similar to how DJSS treats B2J initially. And in DJSS' case, hints of this reversal can be heard in his casettes, already explained above. He somewhat resembles Eve during her final section, a resigned and numb acceptance to being alone.

I think these two would be friends because they would be able to recognize their similarities - not openly address them, mind you, that's too much for either of them to handle - but enough to just chill with each other. There is an underlying feeling of understanding between them, even if all they do is hang out to do superficial things, gossip or rant about work.

And I like to think they're both fine with this arrangement, because sometimes people need relationships that aren't mentally or emotionally exhausting or intense! Sometimes you just need a buddy who shares a similar trauma that neither of you will address and who wants to go bitch about Stacy from HR! It's an unlikely friendship that surprises everyone, but once they stop to think about it, it just makes sense for them to click - at least with the façades they present to the world.

No matter how hard he tries to rebrand, DJSS knows that he'll always be a teacher at heart. Not necessarily a good one, but a teacher anyway.

TOOK ME FUCKING YEARS TO GET TO THIS POINT BUT ANYWAY.

I really like that one post I saw through the NSR tag about how DJSS makes sense as the tutorial boss because he used to be a teacher, we can assume that there was a time in his life where he loved to teach and shape the minds of the future generations. It's a little meta connection that makes sense to me!

And I like to think that this is something that DJSS can't ever get rid of - the need to just teach. It can come across as DJSS not being able to shut his mouth when it comes to telling people why they're wrong and why he's right, but at the end of the day, he's still trying to clarify misconceptions and teach others new things. It just happens through layers and layers of his condescending attitude.

Of course, this also doesn't apply to just teaching, it applies to learning as well.

DJSS strikes me as someone curious and very driven, instead of asking others why, he sets out to find out answers himself - either because it's easier and faster, because he has something to prove, because of he's so full of autism and hyperfixates easily or whatever other reasoning you like the most.

I like the idea of a DJSS who knows his worth and knows he shouldn't bother trying to argue with people who clearly don't care about facts, logic and research, let alone putting the effort to learn or have an open mind - those simpletons who aren't worth his time - but still struggles with keeping his mouth shut.

During his boss fight, he immediately dismisses B2J because they're small fry, they're not even here for him, they're here for inconsequential reasons that he doesn't have time for. Why should he even entertain them? AND THEN HE DOES. HE GETS RILED UP AND JUST GOES ON TO TALK ABOUT HIS ENDEAVORS AND GOALS ANYWAY.

He REALLY reads as a guy who makes the funniest of jokes and can't help but explain them anyway - and he gets away with it most of the time.

Very organized, detail-oriented person, loves routine and to plan things beforehand. DJSS cannot stand spontaneous decisions and has a hard time adapting to sudden changes.

Sometimes it might be easy to forget that DJSS is most likely the smartest member of NSR as a whole, specifically because of the way he acts and presents himself typically - even if he makes a point of constantly reminding others of his intellect and academic achievements. But! Nothing escapes DJSS' keen vision.

Out of other members of NSR, Tatiana trusts DJSS the most to keep up with his responsibilities as charter and many other projects benefitial for the company, like the rocket launch! He's proven time and time again that he's more than competent to be left to his own devices. Even if he doesn't care much for the other megastars, he still shows up on time for meetings and speaks his mind on things that need addressing (that he considers worth addressing, at least), never pulling his punches when offering his opinion.

Literally that kind of annoying coworker that loves to nitpick and someone you don't get along with but who makes the best points and arguments ever.

I like to think this is reflected in his position in Vinyl City - he's the furthest away from the NSR Tower, because he requires little to no supersion at all. He's also closest to the heart of Vinyl City: Festival Plaza and the Grand Qwasa, maybe because he can absolutely take care of any problems that might arise with it.

Even if he's extremely dismissive, DJSS does remember the people he works with - mostly based on their skills and how useful they are, just so he can know who to send away and who to keep around. He doesn't remember your name, but he remembers that you're competent enough to do a quick check on his turntables or other equipment. That sort of thing.

DJSS likes when things go his way, the way he expects things to be, the way he planned them out to be. He thinks of every possible outcome and prepares for it, without going overboard as to hinder his progress. So he can live with someone on his team messing up the rocket launch procedure - because that was already something he expected that would happen, even if he throws a little fit about it. But he can't deal with suddenly being told that someone else will handle the rocket launch entirely - because that's just not a possibility in his mind.

I can see DJSS being a fan of to-do lists or spreadsheets to stay on top of his game. He doesn't need them, he remembers everything he needs to, but hey, it's a fun flex!

I also just remembered one of the interactable things in Cast Tech - a drone that Zuke comments on, saying:

"It must have crashed from all the conflicting signals. DJ Subatomic Supernova really likes the idea of blasting his signal into space..."

Which makes me think that yes, DJSS is great at solving things, he's careful and meticulous, doing anything to ensure his success in whatever he sets out to do - but his tunnel vision makes him careless enough to overlook some of the most obvious things in the world. Like how blasting his own signal might disrupt every other drone in the city or mess with other machines.

And this whole point is totally not me subtly trying to write DJSS in a way that compliments the way I perceive Neon J because I think the ship is fun and their dynamic is even funnier, absoluTELY NOT LETS MOVE ON

Cast Tech is the most academic district in Vinyl City. Basically paradise for nerds.

The same way Eve supports the arts in Dream Fever by having a lot of galleries and art studios, it makes sense that DJSS would support academic endeavors by having schools and other academic institutions, funding people's research and etc. It's another little thing that ties in with his background as a teacher.

In-game, Cast Tech is basically a short main road with two or three paths that lead to small areas. It's very lackluster compared to the rest of districts and I blame that on the way the game is structured, showing the boss first and then the district - plus the fact that DJSS is the tutorial boss so by proxy, he gets less content. But it's serviceable enough for the main plot in the game, which is to show us that NSR can be superficial, shallow and careless company.

And I'd like to argue that, maybe, the area Mayday and Zuke go through within Cast Tech, is not meant to be representative of the entire district. It feels more like an area meant for tourists or general NSR propaganda that ended up flopping massively because people weren't that interested?

DJSS is a megastar, sure, but he's not shown being that much of a public figure outside of advertisement. Compare him to any other member - Sayu and 1010's popularity rely on their fanbase, because they're public figures. Eve is an artist, we also see her dabble in all types of art, not just music, even fashion! Yinu is a literal child, but she's still in advertisements for healthy food and drinks.

Did you notice how Cast Tech and Club Planetarium are the only places that lack NPCs? Unique NPCs to be more exact, like Celine in Dream Fever, Mia in Festival Plaza, Yiruk in Metro Division, etc. People who most likely live there?

Once again, DJSS is an outlier. It makes sense to me that, even though this area has a statue of him and a store selling products based on him, literally just revolving around him, playing his advertisements and etc it's not... That important overall within his district. Even the Planetarium where he hosts concerts has a bunch of small stores outside, nothing grand. Even though it's HIS district, he's NOT the focus, ironically.

I would love to get into details about how the actual district works and what goes around, but I dropped out of my bachelor's degree and I don't know enough about science to get super in-depth about it! So anyone who DOES know or wants to develop this more, feel free!

#nsr #no straight roads #nsr djss #nsr headcanons #dj subatomic supernova #is this post anything guys #its like FOUR bullet points #i was also thinking. DJSS feels like a guy who would. in fact. dissociate #a lot #not in that “haha oops. got lost there” way but. actually dissociate. guy doesnt feel here nor real. struggles to stay in the moment #but masks it well enough

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