#The giant scarf is fantastic

[iniziare]

Tag drop: Dorian Pavus

[candiedspit]

GRB 080319B 

For a month, I was a smudge. 

A mute monk in the bathtub, lukewarm water running as dull colors rolled around my head like fractured, aged marbles. Thoughts lost strength before fruition. I called out of work once a week, faked a cough, a car accident, another funeral. When I did make the drive out to the office, I spent most of the time typing a word, deleting the word, and typing the word again. I stopped taking calls. Mary left me beautiful voice messages. I listened to them while I laid on the couch, sprawled out like an active disease, furious tears streaming down my face. I knew it was stupid. A feeling cannot kill you. But then, I was being diminished. I was receding. 

I know you don’t feel well right now. But listen, I have these neighbors who still have their Christmas lights hanging up. It’s April. I sorta hope they leave them up all year round. 

I stayed frozen for a few weeks. 

Vitamin D and herbal teas, coffee and long novels. But then, I can’t explain it. It was Friday afternoon. Just a Friday afternoon. 

It began when I left the office. A slow bloom rose throughout my entire body. 

I noticed how all the buildings stood scraping against the most gorgeous, thin blue of the dying afternoon, rising evening. The wind felt kind. I didn’t go home. I went to the supermarket and held an orange in my hand, feeling the small indents with my thumbs, smelling the bright zest. It was as though everything was real again. That night, I bought a pack of cigarettes. I hadn’t smoked since I was nineteen. But I inhaled and let out a giant laugh at how lightheaded I felt, I walked through the streets like that, laughing and laughing, the laughter like the magician’s scarf being pulled out and out. It was a fantastic feeling. I felt fearless. As though I could scoop the fear and pain and shit out of myself like a pudding. I had capabilities. 

When I got home, I rushed in and had a shot of blueberry vodka and opened the windows and called Mary; she answered within a couple of rings. That gorgeous rodeo clown. I loved her as much as I loved anything. 

I never thought I’d hear your voice again, she said. But this worries me, y’know. How blue was the sky today?

I’m coming to see you, I said. Not tonight. But soon. I’ll stumble on your porch like a speedball. The sky was fantastic. I’m smoking.

Hm, she said. Listen, stay out of trouble. A feeling cannot kill you. I’ll save some tea for you. Come anytime. Come anytime. 

I couldn’t sleep. I played the same image in my mind, again and again. And words fizzed in and out too quickly for me to catch them. A church of nukes. Do you understand what you are signing? Perfume made of whale semen. Dominoes. 

In the morning, I could feel the angels looking over me. I imagined them like teenagers, shooting the shit, smoking and coughing and pointing. I spent the weekend in bars, meeting everyone on earth. A woman with a strong russian accent who told me the world was going down the toilet and we were all there for the ride. A man who asked me for three cigarettes and then told me he had coke if I wanted some. I spread a little on my gums. But it was a fifteen minute headache, it had nothing on the feeling within me, the glow which propelled and drove me around. I fucked the russian woman. 

I called out of work for the week, claimed I’d contracted HIV and needed time to grieve. I felt awful about the lie. It was ridiculous. But anything could happen. And I wasn’t wasting my time at a computer when I could see patterns in the streets. I wore a long, leather coat and wrapped it around my waist. And beneath, a black thong strung across my hips. I felt like a machine, I felt electric as I walked through the advertisement pus of Times Square, a cigarette beneath my teeth. I rode the trains for hours, befriending the other passengers. And for a moment, I forgot my address. It was nine in the morning. It was the middle of the night. I got nervous anytime I saw a police officer; there was a criminal in my heart. What was I doing? 

I went down to the village to visit Mary as promised. I felt breathless, sensitive to light. I was tired. It’d been years since sleep. I felt as though I was dying. A star exploding in reverse. Mary would know what to do. 

I knocked on her door and she answered as quick as she answered the phone. I smelled her vanilla scent. It made me nauseous. But I was so glad to see her; so glad she was there. I dated Mary for eight years. There was nobody on earth who knew me better than she did. 

You don’t look great, she said. Are you eating?

Not really, I told her as i walked into her apartment. I feel like I need a touch up. My engine is black. I’m running out of oil. I think I lost my job. I don’t know what day it is. 

It’s Saturday, she said. Three in the afternoon. It’s May and spring is here. Have a seat. 

I sat on her couch. 

I think I’ve been hexed, I said. A spell has been put on me. A poison. 

You’ve been here before, she said. Remember? That arrest in Ohio? Disturbing the peace? And the outburst in the museum. Banned from the gas station. A wild iris in your eyes. A desire for mountains. The call is coming from inside the house, Adam.

Mary gave me a cherry tart. I ate half of it and began to weep. Mary gave me a sleeping tablet. And when I woke up, I was horrified. 

When I got home, Mary had left me a voicemail. I laid down naked on the floor and listened. 

You’re a wife with cold feet. Shivering in the dressing room. You’re an astronaut grazing the face of the moon, blind to the wars on earth. You’re brave. You’re pathetic. You go to the amusement park to weep. You walk out onto the avenue to dance. You sneak into a club. And you feel nothing when the band plays, the gilded brass and vulgar scatting. 

And maybe you deserve it. 

[the-girl-who-walks-with-mutants]

Uncanny Icon Chapter 3: Second Genesis

Kurt Wagner x Original Female Character (Adrian Grey)

Rating: M

Chapter Summary:

The Professor has collected the team and now, it's time to meet everyone!

This is our first proper Giant Size X-Men 1 chapter, part two will be out next week! Not much else to say this week, so dive right in and enjoy Adrian finally meeting all her new teammates, including a very adorable, fuzzy blue elf.

[this is chapter is extra special thanks to MORE fantastic art by @lazywrites of our Indelible Icon!]

Adrian stares at herself in the mirror, rubbing her temples to try and tune out the growing hustle and bustle of the mansion below. When she was little, she picked out one of the two attic rooms for a reason, to give herself enough distance from the main areas of the house and let herself rest without constant emotional outpour entering her mind from her fellow students. But so many new sounds and minds, so much excitement, nerve, and anticipation… it was impossible to block out.

The new team has been arriving the past few hours, greeted one-by-one by the Professor, shown to temporary rooms and given their uniforms. Unstable molecule suits, that’s what the Professor called them. Apparently, they were a gift from Reed Richards, the same material used in the Fantastic Four suits. They were certainly an upgrade from the little uniforms that Adrian grew up in. Those still hang in her closet, unused. The black and yellow training uniform was a classic, a bit of nostalgia to look at and remember how small she used to be, how young. The other is a thing of nightmares. When each of the X-Men had to pick their own designs, Adrian was the last to get a colour scheme. As a result, she was stuck in an ugly yellow and pink number, perhaps to show everyone that she was still a girl despite the pants and the short hair she wore, compared to her sister’s green mini-dress. No matter what, Adrian despises it, happy to let it rot in the dark corners of her closet.

Looking back at the mirror, the sounds of her teammates’ emotions slowly beginning to dull as they were called one-by-one to the living room for the mission debrief, Adrian knows that she’s going to choose a costume that is simply and unequivocally her. Adrian Grey, the Icon.

She thinks of what she wants, watching the molecules begin to react to her desires, shaping themselves to her specifications. A sleeveless bodysuit, starting with yellow to match her powers. A bit boring, she thinks, and a red section is added to the chest, from the neckline and descending down into a point by her navel. Turning, she adds the same shape to end at the small of her back. Then red, thigh-high boots, the tops ending in a point as well. Looking down at the shoes, she keeps the heel low and comfortable, but adds a little curve to the tip of the toes.

Almost there…

Two red belts across her hips, angled to form an X, red fingerless gloves attached to gold bangles around her wrists. Finally, she adjusts the knot of a long red scarf around her neck, letting it hang behind her down her back. Doing a little spin, she shakes out her hair. It was far too long for her tastes, now reaching past her collarbones, but that isn’t something that can be adjusted by unstable molecules. Maybe after all this, she’ll cut it again. Maybe to her chin, maybe ear, maybe shorter.

‘Icon, to the living room please,’ the Professor’s telepathic voice calls to her mind. She gives an affirmative thought back. Despite years of not enjoying leadership, avoiding the boring, administrative parts of heroism, all of it is now thrown in her lap. Icon, co-leader of the X-Men.

With that, she walks out of the room.

XXX

‘You will tell us why you have dragged us here, Professor!’ a voice snaps from the living room as Adrian approaches. ‘I, for one, am swiftly losing my patience!’

Stepping just beyond the doorway, she can hear the Professor answer calmly, never one to raise his voice in the face of conflict, ‘Sunfire, I assure you, it is not my intention to waste your time. I merely wanted to wait until all our members were present before beginning.’

Adrian feels the push in her mind, giving her the cue to enter the room as the Professor continues, ‘My friends, allow me to introduce Adrian Grey, the psychic Icon. She will be co-commander on this mission.’

Before she can answer, wanting to give some sort of quip to show herself as both experienced but still humble or something of that nature, there’s a sudden BAMF! sound, the smell of smoke and brimstone filling the room. In a blink, she feels her hand grabbed and a soft kiss placed on the back of it. Her eyes snap down to see the blue, demon-looking mutant – Kurt Wagner, a.k.a. Nightcrawler. From the photo in his file, she recognises the black curls, golden eyes, the hand which has only three digits instead of five.

He's giving her a little bow, saying in a soft, lilted tone, perhaps a bit lower in pitch than she expected, ‘It is a pleasure to have such a beautiful Fräulein as a commander, Meine Dame.’

Adrian is flustered, a small blush forming on her cheeks. She clears her throat, trying to look away from those eyes, ‘Oh, well, aren’t you the sweetest little thing...’

‘Hey, furball, leave the lady alone,’ a gruff voice barks out from further in the room. Wolverine. It makes Adrian suddenly all too aware that there are seven pairs of eyes watching this scene. Nightcrawler smiles at her once more with his elongated canines, pressing a second kiss to her hand before teleporting away back to his original spot across the room. Adrian clears her throat once more, saying with a much more serious tone, ‘I’m only second-in-command on this mission, I’m not the one who will be giving orders, that would be –’

‘That would be me.’

Heads turn to see Scott enter, his ruby quartz glasses traded for a visor made of the same material which gives him total control over his powers.  The Professor gestures to Scott, saying ‘And may I present Scott Summers, known as Cyclops. Now that we are all here, he will fill you in on the details of your mission.’

This is the point where Adrian stops listening. She knows the score, she knows the plan. Before the arrival of the new team, Scott asked Adrian to watch the mutants during his speech, to give him feedback on any members that may be cause for concern or any particularly suited for heroism. She leans back against the wall next to him, her eyes scanning over the seven faces, a unique cast of characters to be sure. All so different and yet all so open. The original team began to learn how to close off their minds, to leave some of their deeper emotions hidden from Adrian’s subconscious readings. But these minds and hearts were open to her.

Her eyes are first drawn back to Nightcrawler, crouched up on the coffee table, tail swaying gently. She can feel his dedication, and a genuine kindness in him, though there is a fading sadness, something that happened before he arrived, something terrible…

But then her mind is drawn sharply away, overpowered by an extreme passion from the big Russian, Colossus. Despite how intimidating his physical form is, his face is sweet, his heart good, and his motives pure.

The rest are a bit more difficult to get a particular read on. While she can hear everything, empathic telepathy is not quite as straightforward as its thought-based cousin. Humans are complicated creatures, mutants more so. And that’s maybe why Adrian prefers to be around mutants, as that complexity makes it easier to tune out the emotions as white noise. Her powers aren’t based on precision. She can’t hear exact words or ideas, but the themes, the pressures, the heat and chill and neutrality that is unique to each emotional trigger and output.

Of the others, they each have a trend to them that she can key in on relatively easily. Storm presents herself as a mightier-than-thou being, truly believing herself the goddess she is known as. Banshee is tired, blasé about the idea of heroism but having enough loyalty to the Professor to come back for one last ride. Both Sunfire and Thunderbird seem displeased, but for very different reasons. Sunfire is angry at the idea of being forced to help those he doesn’t know and thinks a mission like this is the commodification of his abilities.

The anger that bristles around Thunderbird catches her attention for a moment and she initially thinks that maybe he is like Sunfire. And yet… she can feel pain. Its hidden, buried deep in him, beneath the anger, beneath the displeasure, beneath everything. She would be tempted to think that he didn’t even know that it was there if not for the steady beat of it like a drum, timed to his own heart, panging with each move, each breath. Adrian knows what trauma feels like, she knows the knots that are formed trying to piece yourself back together, the ties that continue to unwind each time you think you’re fixing things, letting more and more slip through the cracks. She has to look away as the pain begins to gnaw at her too, joining the two together for a moment so brief that he doesn’t even notice… but Adrian, now more than ever, regrets her initial dissatisfaction at his inclusion.

And Wolverine?

Adrian has never encountered a mind like his before. It feels… hollow, in some way, like a book bored through with holes by bookworms. The pieces are all there but the words, the meanings, the plot… were missing. Even with focus, digging deeper, she can’t fit the pieces together, can’t fill the gaps. She has no idea how intensely she’s been staring, the worry marked by a wrinkle between her brows, until her gaze is confronted by a pair of eyes hidden behind a spiked mask. The emotion was clear. Get the fuck out of my head, Red.

He then turns to Scott, who has finished up his story of the missing X-Men. ‘Buncha kids missing, now what?’

‘Simple,’ Cyclops answers, ‘we go back to Krakoa to find the original X-Men and the mutant that defeated us in the first place.’

Adrian feels the fire of anger even before Sunfire pipes up, surging into her mind like throwing gasoline on a blaze. ‘You may return to Krakoa as you wish, Cyclops, but not I. I will take no part in this fool’s errand.’

That makes her engage in the conversation, resting her forearm on Scott’s shoulder to lean forward, her eyes narrowing. ‘That sounds like you’ve come thousands of miles for jack-shit then, Shiro Yoshida. Not interested in an opportunity to finally help your fellow mutants?’

Sunfire’s starfish-like red mask glowers down at her, the heat continuing to rise as he crosses his arms across his chest. ‘I have no allegiance to my fellow mutants, little Icon. And I will not risk my life to help them merely because you, Cyclops, or the Professor ask me to.’ With that, he storms off, though there is no particular destination in his mind.

She turns back to the new team, shifting her weight onto one leg, her hip jutting out. ‘Anyone else wanna leave? No?’ Her eyes scan each mutant, daring them to move. When none do, she smiles broadly, dimples on her cheeks. ‘Well, then on that note, we’ve got a job to do. Welcome to the X-Men, you lot. I hope you survive the experience.’

XXX

The Blackbird is a model of modern technology, a marvel that most governments could not yet dream of… it’s just a shame that Adrian could not give a damn about planes. She sits in the co-pilot’s seat, her feet up on the dash, glancing over at Scott once in a while to see if he needs help with take-off. Of course he doesn’t. He’s done this a thousand times before. His nerves are placed on the mission ahead, not the act of piloting a plane. Adrian doesn’t have that same level of emotional foresight.

‘If Sunfire’s outburst is anything to go on, I do not believe I like what one would call mutant camaraderie.’ The voice is deep and rich, ageless and warm, like honey to soothe the throat. Adrian turns her head, realizing that it is Ororo Monroe. Of course her voice is just as powerful as her mutation.

‘I promise,’ Adrian responds, trying to quell the internal murmurings of disquiet, ‘it’s not always like this.’

But even she isn’t convinced by her statement.

John Proudstar leans forward, his arm on the headrest of Adrian’s seat, ‘Well, it ain’t like we’re here to be a mutant appreciation society. We’ve all got our stupid reasons for being involved in this fiasco… an’ patting each other on the back ain’t gonna be one of them, Ginge.’

Adrian frowns until John moves once more, pointing out the window for Scott. ‘Hey, One-Eye, we got somethin’ followin’ us!’

‘Icon, open the hatch!’ Scott orders and Adrian leaps into action, dropping the hatch with a push of a button, getting out of her seat to greet… Sunfire!

‘Well, I’ll be damned, look who decided to join us!’ She says with a clap of her hands as Shiro lands in the plane, the hatch closing once more. ‘You decided you want to help your kind after all?’

He looks unimpressed, answering only ‘My reasons shall remain my business and mine alone, little Icon. Best to remember that.’

But they both know better.

No matter what Shiro says, he has a deep sense of duty. He’d never have actually let them go off without him, but perhaps his own ego needed to make a show of it. Either way, she lets him sit and returns to her own place at the front of the plane.

‘We have two hours ‘til arrival,’ Scott tells the team.

‘That’s team leader speak for talk amongst yourselves,’ Adrian adds with a smile, ‘Mingle and make friends.’

‘Icon, don’t disrespect my leadership.’

She glances at Scott, hearing his thoughts. The ability to psychically communicate isn’t something Adrian is naturally good at, but comes with a certain level of familiarity with the mind. She huffs. ‘What part about that was disrespectful, exactly?’

‘You’re making jokes. Now isn’t the time.’

‘I’m trying to make sure people don’t turn into dour little pessimists. You want them to work together, they actually have to like each other at least a little bit.’

She sees his shoulders tense out of the corner of her eye.

‘Any intel from the meeting?’

Adrian is almost tempted to share her insights about Wolverine or John, but it feels too personal to tell Scott. So she shrugs. ‘Everyone checks out. Good little boys and girls ready to be thrown into war, just like Xavier expected.’

‘Good.’

The two look at each other for a moment, almost daring one another to say something else. But they are quickly interrupted by the sounds of the team beginning to mingle. Adrian grins, knowing she won the unspoken argument.

‘Icon, I would like to speak to you.’

Adrian turns to see Ororo standing over her. She gives a smile. ‘Of course, what’d you need?’

The taller woman sits in one of the closer seats as Adrian spins hers around. She holds herself with such a grace, a precision, it makes Adrian feel like a tomboy rolling in mud by comparison. But Ororo doesn’t look down on her, at least not any more than she does the others. ‘You said that it is not always like this, I would like you to elaborate for me.’

Adrian blinks, thrown off-guard a bit by the directness, but appreciating it at the same time. ‘Oh, well, I’ve been doing this sort of thing since I was thirteen with the other team, so its… different.’ She realizes that she’s probably sounding like an idiot, so decides to approach the question the way she knows best, with emotion. She leans forward in her seat towards the other woman. ‘Finding out you’re a mutant is one thing, but finding out how many of us there are is another. The X-Men seem disjointed right now, but we’re a family. That’s the beauty of this whole thing, we’re not just here to fight and work together, its… its special.’

‘What a load of bull.’

Adrian’s head whips around towards Wolverine. ‘I wasn’t aware you were listening.’

‘Yeah, seems to be a lot of people listening when they shouldn’t.’ He counters, clearly knowing that she had been in his head earlier.

Adrian goes to respond, but Ororo puts a hand on her own, drawing her attention back. ‘I appreciate your honestly, Icon, and I hope that you are right. It is a dream I would enjoy seeing to fruition.’

[see the rest and to stay on top of new updates, as well as fun facts about references and comic book lore here at my AO3! AO3 gets early access, so make sure to follow the story there as well!]

[rubykgrant]

OK, here's my pitch for a live-action "grown-up" PPG series (which should still not exist, but let's pretend for a minute~). It begins opening to a slow sunrise of- The City Of Townsville! We even hear the classic Narrator (still Tom Kenny, come on). We never fully see this narrator, but we do see the lower half of his face as he talks and describes what's happening in the city (think of the DJ, Lynne Thigpen, from Warriors or Mister Señor Love Daddy from Do The Right Thing). As the light brightens, people drive and walk around, going to work, and dropping off their at Pokey Oaks Kindergarten.

The screen shows a split of two different things happening simultaneously; one side is little kids putting their backpacks in their cubbies, taking off their shoes, and sitting down at the circular desks as they wait for their teachers to take roll. The OTHER side is a group of people preparing for a bank heist, all old-school style with stripped shirts and scarfs to cover their mouths like wild west robbers. As the kids call out "Here!" when the voices of unseen teachers say their names, the bank robbers go through a check-list of their gear. When the teachers begin describing that their going to begin today by coloring pictures, then play a word game, then go outside for recess- the robber go through their plan for what their going to do in the bank. The robbers burst into the bank, fire a few warning shots, and begin barking orders for money. One robber tells a bank employee "No phone calls!". Immediately, the screen goes back to the kindergarten, where the HOTLINE is buzzing!

As the children look at it expectantly, one of the teachers answers. The voice we hear on the other end is a woman (Miss Bellum), explaining that bank robbers have been spotted at such-and-such address! The teacher who answered says "We're on it, Miss Mayor!". Now the camera pulls back, revealing the three teachers are in fact a red-head wearing pink, a blonde wearing blue, and a dark brunette wearing green. The teacher in pink, who answered the phone, explains the situation to the others, and they prepare to leave. The ask the TA to take care of things, which they promise to do while they're gone. The ladies go to the large double doors that open to the playground. Before leaving, each one mentions something like- "Remember, Calla has her meds to take after snack time!" and "Terry, share the crayons!" and "Ken, no more telling the other kids about what happens in the horror movies your dad let you watch!". The three women the FLY, surging forward with trailing rainbow of blue/pink/green as the kids cheer!

They arrive at the bank, where the robber lament getting caught (they had hoped doing this early in the day would result in the ladies being preoccupied at the kindergarten, giving the robbers time to get away). A fantastic fight scene ensues, with many POWs and BAMs (some of the shots mimicking the opening scenes from the cartoon). The robbers are dealt with and captured. The people in the bank applaud, and thank the ladies for the rescue. When the ladies fly off to leave, they notice another problem... then another... and ANOTHER! Each issue gets more and more extreme, eventually turning into a giant monster attacking the city! The ladies go through it in a montage, that begins with a slow pace, but as the danger increases, the fight scenes become more rapid.

Finally, the screen goes back to the kindergarten, where the kids are going outside for recess. Their three teachers land on the playground, a little battle-warn (teacher in pink fixes her hair because ONE strand was out of place. teacher in blue lightly dabs a little blood from her nose with a tissue, after she had been smashed in the face by a robot with wrecking balls for arms. the teacher in green simply dusts off her shoulders a bit). The kids happily welcome them back, and the teachers proceed to play tag and kickball with them. The teacher in pink gives the TA a coffee she picked up between the fights, as thanks for watching the kids while they were gone~

The rest of the series would proceed with that tone, the exact same spirit of silly whimsy AND dynamic action as the cartoon. Why are the grown-up PPG kindergarten teachers, you ask? Well, I find the fake-out of them answering the Hotline, not as students but adults, very amusing. Also, it just seems like a job they would enjoy doing, simply for the fun of it. Like, Blossom could be a doctor, or a lawyer. Bubbles could be an artist, Buttercup could run a demolition derby (where SHE'S the one who wrecks the cars). They could all be actresses, or perform in a band, or just about ANYTHING, because they're very talented. They probably do some of that in their spare time, anyway... but they don't "need" jobs or careers. They're super heroes! However, they have indeed grown up in this scenario, and they remember how nice it was to be able to go to school with other kids, having a place where they belonged simply because they were little girls. They really appreciate Ms Keane for being so nurturing, and want to be part of that now. Blossom loves teaching and sharing knowledge, Bubbles loves encouraging creativity, and Buttercup is actually very good when it comes to helping kids with anger issues and other problems.

Some of the villains are semi-retired and no longer threats, but still get up to shenanigans from time to time. Him looks like Frank-N-Furter but with lobster claws. Miss Bellum is the mayor now, and the Professor has his own research facility now. Princess tries to be popular as a "influencer", but nobody likes her (and occasionally, she hires people to be her "back up" so she has an evil trio to match the PPG, but it never works). The Gangreen Gang are chill (and there's a few jokes about Ace still getting paychecks from when he worked with a famous band). Some episodes would be the girls dealing with a normal grown-up problem that is ironically more difficult than super hero nonsense. Some episodes would be fun little nods to previous things from the cartoon. Some episodes would introduce new characters, good and bad. There would be a very deliberate lack of Mojo Jojo through the first season, until somebody finally goes "Uh... where IS he???", and they're genuinely worried about what happened to him, the the three-part episode finale is the PPG trying to find Mojo Jojo

[marithlizard]

Notes while watching RWBY v9e3 because I can’t help it:

- I am not paying Rooster Teeth to watch this, they suck. (Crunchyroll also sucks but is hard to avoid if you want to watch animation).   I am not invested in this story anymore. I have pulled back.  Totally just casual watching.  Yes.

- Those opening credits... wait, is Alyx going to turn out to be NEO? That would be a fantastic twist.    

- I’m surprised Yang and Blake are able to be so cheerful after everything that went down last volume.  But they have each other, and they know they did their best,   Weiss is clearly damaged but coping.  Ruby...

- Ruby has been heading for an emotional breakdown since volume 1, when  she explained to Jaune that leaders are not allowed to fail, ever.  She  internalized what Ozpin told her on the first day of class right down to  her spinal cord and has lived by it ever since.  (I wish those two  could talk to each other as overwhelmed traumatized failed leaders  sharing comfort.)  

- Ruby I know your whole thing is using your pure heart and smart mind to make unexpected brilliant tactical decisions. Which maybe since volume 7 have not all been so brilliant in hindsight. But uh no hindsight needed right now. This is bad and WBY know it but they’re following you out of habit.

- This short homicidal royal bitchboy?  You should be running away.  Now. Now? Too late now.

- That sequence zooming down the tower with the butterfly is WOW.

- Ruby he just killed two people for giving him the wrong color birthday present.  What makes you think this “game” will not involve more death.  It’s easy to think the chess pieces are not people but -

- oh WELL then.

- You didn’t even ask about “what if you win and we lose”, I notice.  

- So it’s nonfatal for the normal pawns?  That seems good but I don’t trust it. You know the feeling you get when watching happy children sing a fun song to their teacher in Helluva Boss?   That is what I’m feeling right now about this chess game.

- But it’s only episode 3, way too early in the season for horrible doom.  Right? Right.

- I don’t think you should tell him about Alyx, Ruby, given the rather broad hints that Alyx is the reason his father is not around. 

- Oops. Should’ve said you were aliens or something.

- Game’s obviously off, Ruby, can’t you just pick them up off the board and - oh so that’s why they’re riding in her scarf in the teaser.

- Whoa, angel glyph Weiss! Can’t deny that looks gorgeously anime.

- WHOA Yang wielding Weiss’s summoned giant sword? On the one hand, there’s been no in-show time since v8 for them to have trained and powered up in such a major way. On the other hand, it’s so cool I don’t care.

- Cheshire cat with a subtly vicious tongue.  “Unable to do the one thing you were put on this acre to do”... which was what, I wonder?

-”Promises are like birds, they taste great but always escape”.  I like this cat.

- The Jabberwock really isn’t hostile at all, is it.  (Is it the king?) And now I’m worried for it. 

I was overthinking, phew.  It is only episode 3.  Doom tomorrow, doom yesterday, but not doom today.   Except for the Jabberwock.

[worldweaverofmediocrity]

Progress Report 7/28/24

948 words. transcript finally complete. time for bed

“It’s such a wonderful world!”

Aqua was shown in a field of glowing lights and spread her arms like she was going to catch someone falling. Then Kazuma slashed his short sword down in a small valley.

“Look! A Dazzling Fanfare of light.”

The camera turned and revealed a giant golem that Kazuma completely missed. At both the golem’s and humans’ feet were rocks with very derpy eyes. To Kazuma’s left was Darkness clutching her sword in a (useless) defensive position. To Kazuma’s right was Aqua casting Blessing upon her teammates. To Aqua’s right was Megumin holding her staff diagonally across her body, probably mimicking Darkness’ defensive position. 

On “Dazzling” the giant golem threw a punch which Darkness blocked with her sword. Even Darkness couldn’t miss her sword swings at this close of a range. On “Fanfare” Kazuma runs up to a goofy eyed rock and smacked it with his sword. Aqua was in the back ground cheering him on as the rock swelled, shedding light.

“It’s always there waiting for us.”

Kazuma gritted his teeth and swung his sword rapidly against the stones until the rock exploded. There was a split second of a single frame where Kazuma realized his mistake and tried to hide behind his sword. Alas, he was uneducated in the ways of violating reality with a sword, thus Kazuma was propelled upwards by the explosion. 

Darkness glanced back away from her enemy and saw the falling Kazuma amidst slabs of rock. Darkness proved that she was the Heiress to the Dustiness Dynasty by jumping up to a rock slab then over to Kazuma and grabbed the back of his belt.

“Theres no need to hesitate anymore.”

Megumin was standing over the quarry form a nearby hill. The camera swirled around her, growing closer until Megumin’s gleaming face took up the whole screen. Megumin twirled her staff and blue ribbons of energy swirled around her staff. 

Camera changed to show Megumin was standing on a cliff’s edge. The energy stablized for a split second into a massive four pointed star inside of a crescent moon. Which was overshadowed by Aqua’s own massive ass. Aqua strangely was staring in shock at the amount of energy Megumin was producing.

On “Anymore” the rock quarry was shown, there were three of the golems and several more of the explosive rocks. Fourteen massive red magical circles appeared above the quarry in an hour glass formation. 

“Time and time again, let’s get greedy”

The magical circles swelled and a orange-red explosion seared its way into existence at the bottom of the hour glass, instantly killing the golems and explosive rocks. The [Explosion] filled the entire screen and kicked up rock.

This instance of [Explosion] ran on Lina Inverse logic, leaving our protagonists exhausted but intact. Kazuma was the furthest from the camera and the first one to stir. Darkness was on the left, Aqua was in the middle, and Megumin was on the right, all of them were laying down with their heads pointed towards Kazuma. Kazuma looked back at his gang of idiots.

“And take it all for ourselves!”

Darkness used her now cracked sword to push herself up, Aqua used her arms to push herself upright after a little hop. 

“Let’s go! We’re Fantastic Dreamers!”

Megumin mrely turned her head so that her face was visble beneneth her hat and smiled, Aqua gave a thumbs up. Kazuma sighed, smiled, and returned the thumbs up. 

Kazuma’s sword gleamed in the sunlight. 

Wiz’s shop was shown with her behind the counter and the front door glass slightly blurred. A small wooden oval with two half circles carved out of the ends with the metal hanging bit being a witch on her broom served as Wiz’s entry sign.

Inside of her shop, Wiz clapped her hands together and produced a jiggle in her boobs.

The barbarian was shown in front of the full tavern and raised a mug to the camera. 

Chris was shown on a rooftop as her scarf billowed in the wind, presumably spawned by her Goddess Half.

Then Beldia’s cape served as the transition into showing him in a castle corridor with a large blue window looking into a presumed unseen courtyard.

Then Kyoua Mitsurugi was shown with his Cursed Sword Garm resting on his shoulder. The red-haired Fio and the green-haired Cremea were running up to their party member.

The four barmaids were shown in a small corner of the tavern, presumably by the desk. The light brown haired one had a tray of tea, creamer, burger, and a four layer sandwich. The blonde haired one and the brown haired one were holding more of the drinks, and the black haired one at the back was holding the order board.

Yunyun had her only season 1 appearance, we saw the back of her head and she turned around, her boobs bounced crevealing the complete lack of support in this clan of hers. Though she would eventually gain a personality in season 2.

Luna and the rest of the randomly appearing support staff were in a break room as Luna smiled at the camera.

The final shot of the opening was the four protagonistw standing on a cliff face overlooking Axel. Darkness was on the left, then Kazuma, Aqua, and Megumin clutched her staff at the right.

[keter-class-anomaly]

Once there was a pen... penguin assassin named LeDrick.

LeDrick was at your dad’s bakery on hunt day. Unfortunately, LeDrick had a mission to spread lice.

Thus, LeDrick started to shake a jar of worms onto the cash register.

The worms, which contained lice, started to crawl all over your dad’s money then onto the freshly baked donuts.

The donuts screamed in agony, calling to your dad for salvation.

Your dad rushed over to try and save the donuts, but before he could do anything LeDrick took out another jar of worms and aimed it at your dad.

Suddenly, a dark presence appeared, the shadow of Leo loomed over the scene.

In one hard swing Leo decked LeDrick across the bakery floor and was ready to fight to the death, but unbeknownst to her LeDrick had some other dirty tricks up their sleeve.

LeDrick stared into Leo's eyes, looking into her soul, and started taking the worms from the counter one by one and stuffing them in their mouth.

Struck still with confusion, Leo didn’t move as she looked on to LeDrick eating the worms, not noticing LeDrick moving closer and closer to her whist they ate.

While consuming the worms and holding Leo's attention, LeDrick knitted a whole sweater and was ready for the attack.

Leo got impatient waiting and launched a punch at LeDrick, only for her fist to get pierced with one of the knitting needles LeDrick previously was using to knit the cute sweater.

Thankfully for Leo, this was LeDrick's first week as an assassin and they felt so remorseful that they start to apply first aid to Leo's shattered hand.

Hand now somewhat patched up, Leo proceeded to beat and kick the shit out of LeDrick, who scrambled to attack back.

But Leo was not prepared for LeDrick's next move, they threw up the lice filled worms all over Leo and her dad!!!

LeDrick maniacally chortled as Leo’s dad screamed how they could possibly be this evil to do this, to which LeDrick responded “How bad can I be…I’m just doing what comes naturally!”

At this point, LeDrick burst from their skin to become truffula tree, which they had secretly been this entire time.

Gobsmacked by the whole ordeal, Leo ignored her dad’s cries of confusion and thoughtlessly started feasting on the fleshy fruits of Le- no of the truffula tree it was just a truffula tree not a penguin just a truffula tree with fruit…fruit…

But the fruit was poisonous!

The fruit’s intoxicatingly sweet juices danced across Leo’s taste buds, her vision starting to blur and balance teeter but nonetheless, she continued to scarf down the fruit as if automated.

Then Leo herself turned into a fruit, her dad screaming in the background, his only daughter, his favorite child, the girl of his heart, consumed gruesomly and righteously, into an unrecognizable figure.

Leo’s dad wasn’t sure if he was hallucinating or going delirious at this point, but he could have sworn he started to hear a chorus of people fainting singing “let her die, let her die, let her shrivel up and die.”

But Leo did the opposite of this, she grew and filled the entire store, very James and the Giant Peach of her, very slay.

"very james and the giant peach of her, very slay"

fantastic addition.

[lasnevadaslaborunion]

Duck hybrid headcanons are fantastic, but setting his name aside and speaking symbolically, c!Quackity reminds me a lot of a vulture, too

Vultures have weaker talons than other raptors, so they wait for larger predators to make a kill and then feed on the carrion. Sometimes, they will also prey on animals that are injured, sickly, or otherwise close to death. In very rare cases, a desperate vulture may attack healthy prey; this often goes poorly for them.

They are among the most social birds of prey; they gather in flocks, many species mate for life, and they tend to be caring parents to their young

Vultures are also playful, highly intelligent (some have even been observed using tools), and have very long memories by bird standards

They pee on their own legs to kill bacteria and prevent infection (yeah sorry, I couldn't not include this fun fact)

Greek mythology is full of vulture symbolism. These birds were linked to Apollo and his gifts of foresight, as well as to Ares, the god of war. Although the bird sent to punish Prometheus by eating his liver every day is generally considered to be an eagle (Zeus's sacred bird), confusion with the similar fate of the giant Tityus leads some artists and writers to depict it as a vulture instead. And the Erinyes, the spirits of vengeance who chased after traitors, murderers, and oathbreakers, were often portrayed as women with the wings of vultures

In modern western culture, vultures are a bad omen, being associated with death, cowardice, moral decay, and opportunistic greed (think of the dark shadows circling overhead in every desert scene in every animated movie ever, or the concept of "vulture capitalism" - buying out struggling enterprises and reviving them via agressive, often unethical means)

However, the ancient Egyptians viewed vultures as a symbol of nobility, protection, and motherly compassion, especially in Upper Egypt which featured the head of the vulture goddess Nekhbet on the pharaoh's crown

Vultures are also an important part of funerary rites in some Buddhist traditions, where they are regarded as gentle and sacred animals that keep the land pure and help souls be reborn (check out Tibetan sky burial)

Fuck everyone who says otherwise, vultures are not ugly, they're beautiful.

Oh, can I repeat the whole bit about consuming dead and dying things, both because they're not strong enough to pursue living prey and because somebody with a strong stomach needs to clean up the festering mess that other creatures leave behind?

Or the whole concept of rebirth and new life coming from things that are considered gruesome, tragic, or cruel?

How about the cool-as-hell seasoned wanderer, giver and taker of opportunity, or ominous but bitterly-welcomed reaper in the desert aesthetic?

c!Quackity has literally eaten a human heart before. He once served rotten flesh on a dinner date. He scarfed down a dead fish straight off the floor of his restaurant. This man is a little scavenger FREAK-

[taeyongdoyoung]

summary: as you begin dating both hyunjin and minho behind their backs, instead of happiness, guilt is the main emotion you’re experiencing. and just as you’re intending to come clean about your wrongdoings, karma has a funny way of biting you in the ass...

pairing: minho x reader x hyunjin

genre: high school!au, ANGST, romance, enemies to lovers, friends to lovers

warnings: swearing, two-timing, lying, secrets, a lot of guilt, confessions, shakespeare (cuz it’s me), pet names (e.g. babe, darling, sunshine), crying, yelling, car accident, hospital room, mentions of bullying, hyunho dark past revealed, the beginning of something new...

author’s note: the title is inspired by stray kids’s sorry, i love you; also have a felix cameo and remember that despite my current hyunho hyperfixation, he’s still my bias ☀️ oh, and some loona names thrown around just because

word count: 5.1k

part one: even a fool knows

part three: i wanna STAY with you

taglist: @changbinscypher ✨ @hyunjinslovelys ✨ @a-hyunjinshairband✨ @chaelinhhwang ✨ @qtieskz ✨ @lcvryu​ ✨

"Shall we go on three dates?" Hyunjin asked once he was done kissing you. Which, to your merit, lasted quite some time... "If things don't work out romantically, we'll just stay friends. If they do, we'll start being in a proper relationship. How does that sound?"

"Hyun, a million dates with you wouldn't be enough for me. I like you that much," you confessed openly, burying your head into his chest. "But whatever you wish, I'm all for it."

"Great! I'm so excited to take you out and-"

"However, I do have one condition," you said.

"Anything for you, sunshine," Hyunjin promised, trusting you blindly. God, you felt like such an asshole sometimes.

"Can we keep it on the low-low at school?"

"Are you embarrassed of me?" he feigned offense dramatically.

"Of course not! I'm just afraid a certain someone will get annoyed upon seeing our happiness and might start bullying you again," you lied. 

Actually, you just didn't want Minho to know you were seeing Hyunjin. And vice versa. Maybe that made you a terrible person but you didn't want to end things with Minho. Even though you were fairly certain he had actually changed and wouldn't bully Hyunjin again. You had grown quite fond of Minho and couldn't possibly imagine calling it quits. Deep down, you knew it was wrong. But you liked them both quite a bit. And life without either of them seemed devoid of meaning.

"That's valid," Hyunjin agreed easily. "Besides, it's just a few months till graduation. Once we go to college, I'll be able to kiss you in front of the whole world."

Your heart melted at the fact he was already thinking long-term about you two. Could Minho say the same? And when the day of graduation arrived, would you have to end things with him? No, you shouldn't trouble yourself with such thoughts. There was still time to figure everything out.

"Where are we going on our first date?"

"Hm, how about the ice skating rink?"

"Sounds fun," you immediatel agreed. "But you should have in mind I'll fall a lot. For you."

Hyunjin rolled his eyes and giggled. Then, he pretended to call an invisible phone as a joke:

"911, we have an emergency. My girlfriend is super lame."

You nudged his arm playfully and couldn't stop your laughter from coming out. He made you genuinely happy. You didn't deserve him. But you couldn't imagine leaving Minho, either. Just when he was showing you a more sensitive, kind-hearted side...It would devastate him. And you instinctively knew he needed affection just as much as anyone else.

Your first date with Hyunjin was as fantastic as you'd expected it to be. Luckily, you didn't run into anyone from school. So, your secret was safe for now. You enjoyed playing on the ice with your boyfriend (fuck, you'd never grow tired of saying that word), holding his hand and wrapping a giant scarf around his beautiful neck. Every little moment with Hyunjin sparked so much joy that you were greedy for more. More little moments, more hand-holding and kissing. But there was a tiny voice at the back of your head telling you that you didn't deserve any of this. Maybe it was right. But you were too far gone to stop.

"Hey, babe, I haven't seen you in forever," Minho told you one night when he surprised you with one of his favourite drives to your place.

"Sorry, Min, I've been working on many assignments and college applications, you know how it is," you responded, only a half-lie. It was true you had been looking into colleges and having assignments, but your free time, you had been spending going on dates with Hyunjin. Needless to say, their number exceeded three. And you were planning on having many more in the future. "Did you miss me?" you teased.

"You know I did," he smiled sadly. "I thought you were avoiding me."

"Nooo, darling. I'm sorry it seemed that way. I'm going to spend more time with you from now on."

Homework and your future college be damned. Minho was one of your priorities right now and you needed to prove that you would be there for him.

"Promise?" he pouted and you couldn't believe this was the same guy who had once bullied your best- Scratch that, your boyfriend. Because Hyunjin was just that. What were you doing? If Minho found out, he'd be heart-broken. If Hyunjin found out, you were afraid this would be the end of, not only your relationship, but your entire friendship.

"Promise," you couldn't resist saying and wrapped your arms around Minho, trying not to think about Hyunjin while you were with Minho.

"I really like you, Y/N," he whispered, taking you aback. "I know I'm terrible at expressing my feelings but I thought you should know that."

"That's really sweet of you," you replied.

"You're not going to say it back?" Minho groaned.

"Nah, I still hate your guts," you joked. "Of course, I like you, too, Min. Would I be here if I didn't?"

"Sometimes I think you're still afraid I'd go back to my old ways and torment your best friend. I hope I'm not right."

God, why did he have to bring Hyunjin up right now? Just as you were trying to momentarily forget your overwhelming sense of guilt. You sighed and withdrew slightly so that you could look into his eyes.

"I'm not scared of you, Lee Minho," you insisted. "I'm here because I think you don't deserve to be alone."

"So...you pity me?" he frowned.

"I didn't say that."

"That's what I heard, though."

"Fuck, you can be really frustrating sometimes," you sighed. "I'm here because I want to be with you. Now, will you stop overthinking it so we can enjoy this beautiful night together?"

"Right, sorry," Minho nodded and pulled you into his arms once again. "This is the first time I've felt so happy and I just...can't help but worry I'll somehow mess it up. I didn't mean to make you upset."

"I'm not upset," you lied. That was becoming a habit. "I like making you happy. Please, don't ever doubt that." Ha! If anything, Minho had every right to doubt you. As you had done nothing but be dishonest.

"If I ever do something to upset you, please talk to me about it. I don't want this to end."

Lee Minho...wanting to communicate through potential issues. You would have teased him about it if your heart wasn't overflowing with pride.

"Noted. And the same goes for you. I would hate to hurt you, Min."

He smiled sweetly and caressed your hair.

"You could never."

Oh, how wrong he was.

As things were becoming more serious between you and Hyunjin, you were simultaneously becoming happier and feeling guiltier for having a thing with Minho behind Hyunjin's back. At the sime time, every second you were spending with Minho, your mind was troubled by how you were not only betraying Hyunjin's trust but also potentially doing something that could hurt Minho in a way you weren't sure it was possible to come back from. Just when he'd begun to trust you and open up more, you had gotten into a relationship with Hyunjin. Despite the increasing sense of guilt clouding your mind, you couldn't picture your life without either of these boys. Ending things with just one of them was bound to devastate you. The only thing that was giving you hope was that graduation was just around the corner. And once you went to college, chances were you'd continue seeing your best friend Hyunjin but it would be easier to ignore Minho. And as painful as that idea sounded, maybe it was for the best.

"Did you hear the threatre club's female lead got really sick?" Hyunjin told you one day. "They're looking for someone to step in. The play is in less than a month. Thought you'd be interested."

"Doesn't the theatre club have other girls?" you asked.

"Nah, Haseul, Jinsoul and Yves graduated last year so currently the theatre club only has boys. And Yeji, who got sick."

"I'm sorry for Yeji and the club having difficulties but my schedule is really packed, I'm afraid I don't have much time on my hands."

That was only partially true. You were usually quick at finishing your homework and you already had a sort of plan what you were going to do in college. You needed the rest of your free time to continue seeing Hyunjin and Minho without either of them finding out about the other...

"Please, just give it a try," Hyunjin insisted. "My friend Felix could really use some help."

You sighed. It was impossible to say no to your doting, precious boyfriend.

"What is the role in question?"

"Desdemona. Lix said they're doing Othello."

You almost laughed at the irony of it. Of course, poor Desdemona was perfectly innocent and wrongfully accused of cheating on Othello. Unlike you. It would be such a cruel twist of fate if the theatre club actually accepted you to act as Desdemona. Yet again, you had to remind yourself no one knew. It could be fun. Maybe you'd even learn a lesson or two in the preparation for the role.

"When are they having rehearsals?"

"Everyday after classes," Hyunjin informed you. "I'll understand if you have less time to go out with me, by the way. Just take this chance. Not only will you help my friend but the experience could also be useful for your college application essay, right?"

"Sure, it sounds like a great idea."

"Awesome! I'll text Felix to tell him you're in."

You gave Hyunjin a half-hearted smile.

After classes, you showed up at rehearsals and were surprised to find out how easy it was for you to memorize lines. After all, you were quite bookish and you'd read Othello before. It was also tragically ironic how easy you found it to get into character. Despite Desdemona's blameless nature, you were doing a great job as an actress, according to Felix. Maybe because you had been doing nothing but lie to those dearest to you in the recent past. And were only planning to continue doing so.

As the official performance of the play was approaching, you were growing more confident in your abilities and less confident in whether you deserved so much happiness and attention. Soon enough, you got your answer. 

You were sitting in Minho's car one night, his late drives to your place were becoming a regular thing. It was strange...in the dark, you felt perfectly safe and comfortable.

"My friend Felix told me you landed female lead in the school's play," Minho said casually.

"You know Felix from theatre club?" you were surprised to find out Hyunjin and Minho had a common friend. Other than you. Well...you weren't strictly their friend.

"Of course, I know him," Minho shrugged. "We go to dance club together."

That was beyond strange. You'd heard Hyunjin telling you he also knew Felix from dance club. Did that mean...No fucking way. Did Minho and Hyunjin attend the same dance club? Could it be connected with why Minho used to bully Hyunjin? Was there some drama between them you had no clue about? Apparently, you were not the only one keeping secrets...

"Is this...the same club Hyunjin goes to?" you were too curious and couldn't resist the temptation of asking.

"I'm surprised he hasn't told you," Minho scoffed, but quickly changed the subject. You decided not to press him further for fear of making him angry or suspicious.

"Anyways, I was wondering if...you wanted me to come watch you at the play thing. I won't approach you in front of your friends, you don't need to worry about me embarrassing you."

"Min..." you mumbled, feeling touched by his consideration. And simultaneously, guiltier than ever. "You're not embarrassing me, I just don't want to make anyone upset. And of course, I'd love it if you came. But only if you want to, don't feel pressured."

"I'm not. It would make me so happy to watch my talented girl on the stage," Minho insisted. God, it was breaking your heart how much you were on the verge of breaking his, without him realizing.

You squeezed him into a tight hug and kissed his cheek.

"What would I do without you?" you exclaimed.

"Aren't I the most supportive boyfriend in the universe?"

You immediately froze into place. This was the first time Minho had referred to himself as you boyfriend. It was devastating he didn't know you already had another boyfriend. It was devastating you were lying to them both. After the play, you would finally come clean. You could no longer live with such guilt. Hyunjin and Minho deserved better than that. After the play, you would tell them the truth. If they chose to leave you, you would completely understand. It would be better for you to be alone than continue to play with their feelings and do something so unfair towards them behind their back.

"You are," you couldn't help yourself from agreeing. "I'm the luckiest girl."

And you meant every word.

The day of the play finally arrived and it went well. You didn't mess up anything and the audience was clapping a lot. Hyunjin's friend Felix was playing Othello and near the end of the performance, he had to "smother" you with a pillow. Honestly, if you weren't constantly preoccupied with the promise you'd made to yourself to tell Hyunjin and Minho everything after the play, you would have had so much fun. But you were anxiously preparing yourself for the conversation, so in your head, the whole play went by in the blink of an eye. As you were leaving the stage, you spotted Hyunjin nearby. He hurried towards you excitedly, giving you a wonderful bouquet of flowers and enveloping you in a hug. 

"You were amazing out there!" he praised you.

You hugged him back, naturally, there was nothing suspicious about two friends embracing. But then, Hyunjin seemed so caught up in the moment, that he seemed to forget his promise he would keep things between you on the low-low at school. That he did the one thing he shouldn't have done. He kissed you. And you did the one thing you couldn't come back from. Kissed him back.

Once you opened your eyes, you noticed Minho a couple of metres away. But it was too late. He had already seen everything. You blinked in surpise and slowly withdrew from Hyunjin. Minho was speeding towards you two like a feral cat. Before you could open your mouth to explain, Minho had grabbed your hand and Hyunjin's, pulling you out of the theatre hall and into the corridor.

"We need to talk. Now."

"What's going on?" Hyunjin looked immensely worried as his former bully dragged him after him. 

You knew that trying to reassure him would be pointless. Your secret was already halfway out and it was only a matter of time before the whole of it came out to the surface. Once in the corridor, Minho yelled:

"What the fuck did I just see?"

"I can't even date in peace without you interferring?" Hyunjin was in disbelief.

"And you had to pick her?" Minho groaned in frustration. 

"What's that to you?" Hyunjin scoffed, still having no idea.

You were sobbing uncontrollably, overwhelmed by everything that was happening. Minho turned his anger towards you instead of Hyunjin.

"Tell him. Tell him or I will."

You shook your head, unable to utter a word.

"Your sweet little girlfriend has been fucking me," Minho hissed at Hyunjin. "Did you honestly think I stopped bullying you out of the sheer kindness of my heart? We had an agreement."

Hyunjin took a hesitant step backwards.

"Tell me it isn't true. Tell me he's just lying to mess with me."

You couldn't possibly deny it. So, you just kept crying.

"No," Hyunjin found it impossible. "What the fuck, Y/N?"

"I was going to tell you,"

"When? When we graduated? When we got married?" Hyunjin and it broke you that he had been thinking that far into the future.

"After the play," you murmured dumbly. "I swear, I was going to come clean. But then, you kissed me and Minho saw and-"

"What difference does it make whether you were going to tell us or not?" Hyunjin cried out. 

You tried to reach out for him and hold his hand in a desperate attempt to explain how you felt for both of them and why you did what you did, but Hyunjin pushed you away, running down the corridor and out of the building. You collapsed on the ground as your sobs only became more inconsolable. You were surprised when you felt a pair of arms holding you tightly, as Minho caressed your hair and tried to comfort you.

"I understand why you lied to me. You liked us both too much to end things with either one of us, didn't you?"

You nodded and kept crying.

"Minho..."

"Shh, I'm right here, babe," he kissed the top of your head gently. "But if you ever lie to me again, we're over. Am I clear?"

"You...you don't want to break up with me?" you asked in shock.

"Not when I still believe what we have is worth fighting for. I'll try to talk to Hyunjin, okay? Maybe he'll come around."

"I'm not sure he'll want to talk to you but I would appreciate it. He probably would rather see you than me right now," you sighed.

"Everything will be fine," Minho reassured you, confident in his ability to magically fix things.

"Be careful, alright?"

He promised you he would be and went down to the corridor to catch up with Hyunjin.

Minho's POV

I really wanted to help her make everything work. Even though she lied to me and began dating Hyunjin behind my back. I was surprised at myself. After the initial anger subsided, all that I could think about was how devastating it was so watch her cry. Yes, maybe, she was a little greedy for wanting to have the two of us at the same time. Maybe, it was unfair of her to keep it a secret. But I could get behind her reasoning. Was it so wrong that she liked me so much she even lied to her best friend? And if she believed I could change and do better, be a nicer person, then, the least I could do for her was try and talk to Hyunjin. After all, he was in a similar position. He, too, had been cheated on. I thought we would find common ground. And maybe, if he tried to view things from her perspective, as well...To try and understand she just cared for us both. A lot. And she hadn't hurt us on purpose. Maybe it was worth trying to save this.

As I was walking home, I spotted Hyunjin crossing the street. But he must have been too upset to find out I had a thing with Y/N to see the approaching car. He was too slow. And the vehicle was too fast. Fucking dumbass. Without thinking of the consequences, I jumped into the street, pushing Hyunjin out of the way. But before I could find the time to get out of here myself, I realized my legs were frozen. It was too late. The last thing I saw were the car's lights...

Hyunjin's POV

I was alive. I had been seconds away from getting hit by a car and then, someone pushed me out of the way. And I was alive. Wait. Where was that someone? Fuck...No, no, no, no.

It hadn't been just someone. It was Minho. As I held his lifeless body in my arms, my brain refused to work for a couple of seconds. I couldn't believe he had done this. For me. No, that wasn't important right now. I had to do something. I hurriedly pulled my phone from the pocket of my jeans and called an ambulance. Soon enough, the medics arrived and without thinking, I went into the vehicle with him. Despite our complicated history, I couldn't just leave him there alone right after he'd saved my miserable life.

As the ambulance was parking in front of the hospital and the medics were carrying Minho to the operation room, I realized I had to tell her. Regardless of our recent fight. I couldn't believe it was less than an hour ago. It didn't matter anymore.

"Y/N...you have to come to the hospital on 9 Street," I told her directly.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?" she asked.

"I'm fine but...Minho...he...just come, please," I said and hung up. I didn't have the energy to explain this over the phone and didn't have the heart to tell her it was my fault he got hurt. If I hadn't been so reckless, if I had watched where I was going, he wouldn't have jumped out to save me. I just had to pray he would survive this. If he didn't, I would never be able to forgive myself.

Reader's POV

"Felix, could you drive me to the hospital on 9 Street?" you were panicking. You had no car and no idea how to get there and the first thing that came to your mind was the fact Felix was nearby and had probably come to the theatre with his own vehicle.

"Sure, let's go right now," your friend and co-star immediately said he would help. "Is it a family thing?"

You shook your head.

"Is Hyunjin alright?"

"I think so."

"Did someone get hurt?"

"Minho...he...I'm not sure what's wrong myself," you sighed. "Hyunjin told me to get there and he implied something happened to Minho."

Felix nodded in a strange way that led you to believe perhaps he knew about something (other than you) that connected Hyunjin and Minho. Something you didn't know. Some sort of falling out, perhaps? You were once again reminded of the fact the three of them were in same dance club together. You desperately wanted to get to bottom of this mystery. But first, you had to make sure Minho was okay.

"Listen..." Felix started. "When I was changing out of my costume, I overheard the three of you in the corridor."

"Oh, great, now everyone knows I'm a lying, cheating bitch," you replied sarcastically.

"Hey, no judgment here. Hyunjin seemed pretty pissed off out there but I’m sure he'll come around eventually."

"Minho said something similar, actually," you smiled sadly. "He followed him because he wanted to talk to him."

"Typical Minho," Felix chuckled thoughtfully.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

You had no idea that someone other than you viewed Minho in such a positive light. It made you happy, in a sense. But also, it made you confused as to how Felix knew Minho so well.

"It's not my story to tell," Felix grinned mysteriously and parked the car abruptly. "We're here. Do you want me to come with or...?"

"I think I'll be fine. Thanks for the ride. You should get home and have some rest. By the way, I never got to tell you that you were outstanding today, Othello."

Felix waved you off humbly.

"Go get your men, Desdemona," he joked. "And give me a call if you need anything."

"Thank you, Felix. It really means the world to me," you spoke sincerely and hurried into the hospital.

Once you got inside and asked the nurses what room Minho was in, they told you he was currently being operated and you had to wait for a while. You were on the verge of a mental breakdown but you told yourself you had to be strong for him. Luckily, you found Hyunjin in the corridor, also eager for a time when the doctors would have more information on Minho's well-being.

"What happened?" you asked Hyunjin and upon seeing his pitiful expression, just went ahead and hugged him. You were surprised he didn't reject your affection and let you embrace him. Stroking his long hair, you couldn't do much but wait for him to speak.

"I didn't see the car. Minho...he came out of nowhere and pushed me out of the way. It...hit him instead. It's all my fault."

"Don't say that," you cried out. "If anything, it's my fault for lying to you both. You must have been so upset you didn't even realize you were crossing the street. All because of me."

"It's no good if we blame ourselves, though," Hyunjin pointed out. "When Minho is the one suffering the most."

"You're right," you sighed. "All we can do now is wait and be there for him when he wakes up."

You couldn't fathom the thought of it being an if. It had to be a when. He had to wake up.

Time went by and eventually, you were sitting in a hospital room next to an unconscious Minho lying in his bed. Hyunjin and you cried quite a bit upon seeing Minho but at one point, your tears dried up and you started talking to Minho. You weren't sure if he could hear but you had to try.

"Please, Min, wake up. There are so many things I haven't told you yet. Please, I need you," you kept saying.

"I can't believe you would risk your life to save mine. Fucking dickhead," Hyunjin teased but his words contained no venom. "You know how much I hate feeling indebted to someone. You gotta wake up and tell me what I can do to repay you."

"If you really want to thank me for saving your sorry ass, you should give her a second chance," Minho whispered weakly.

"Minho!" you exclaimed happily, gripping his hand tightly, but not too tight to hurt him, as you were trying to be considerate of the fact he had recently been in a car accident.

Hyunjin, on the other hand, was not capable of self-restraint and straight-up hugged Minho.

"I'll even give you a second chance if you want me to!"

"Ouch, that hurts," Minho complained a tad bit too dramatically.

"Sorry, sorry," Hyunjin immediately let go of him.

"Y/N, tell Hyunjin what we talked about before I ran after him," Minho suggested.

"It doesn't matter, I already said I'd give her a second chance, didn't I?" Hyunjin repeated.

"It does matter. Just hear her out, okay?"

"I just...You both mean too much to me and I didn't tell you the truth earlier because I didn't want lose either of you. I like...no, I'm sorry but I love you. You two are too pretty to be just friends. And you’re also kind and talented and supportive. And I know that by lying to you, I risked losing both of you. But now that you know how I feel, I can only hope, no, pray that you would still want to be in my life."

"I get that now," Hyunjin admitted and gave your hand a heartfelt squeeze. "And like I said, I'm willing to put this behind us."

"Same here," Minho reasserted his intention, cutely smiling at you and Hyunjin.

"What I still don't get," Hyunjin continued speaking, turning to Minho, "is why you used to bully me in the first place. We were such good friends, what happened?"

They were? Was this connected to your suspicions about the dance club drama? Was that the thing Felix had labelled as "it's not my story to tell"?

"You don't remember?" Minho blinked in surprise.

"Honestly, I have no idea."

"We're here anyways and by the looks of it, I'm not getting out soon, so I might as well enlighten you," Minho conceded.

Finally! You had been dying to know what went down between these two.

"The year I came to our high school, one of the first extracurricular activities I signed up for was the dance club. Hyunjin and I hit it off immediately, we had a lot in common. One afternoon, we came up with this really cool choreo together and the teacher loved it. He gave me the center position and I was so overjoyed and excited for our first competition that I practised every moment I wasn't in class. Day and night, rehearsal after rehearsal. Until one evening I hurt my leg pretty badly. The competition was the following day. So, who could possibly replace me in such short notice but the other guy who'd come up with this amazing choreo? Hyunjin. And I was fine with that, I really was. After all, Hyunjin reassured me it was just a temporary thing. And I'd be back on my feet before I know it. And indeed, soon after the competition, I was completely healthy. So imagine my surprise when one day I overheard the teacher asking Hyunjin if he wanted to be the center for all the upcoming performances, as well. Even though my leg was alright, the teacher said Hyunjin fit the center position and the whole concept of the dance team better than I ever could. And Hyunjin agreed to do it. Fuck, I felt so betrayed back then. I used to think it was so selfish to discard me like that. But my passion for dancing was too strong and I put up with seeing Hyunjin's face every goddamn day. But outside of the dancing hall, I had to do something to let out my frustrations. And...well, you know the rest."

"My God, Minho, I didn't know you heard that. To be honest, I only agreed with the teacher because at the time you didn't seem that interested in the center position. If I had any idea how important it was to you, I would have stepped out. I would have talked to the teacher or something. I'm really sorry, Minho...For what it's worth, I think you're the most talented dancer out there."

Minho smiled gratefully and gave Hyunjin an understanding nod.

"Well, what's past is past. I'm glad we can open a new page."

"For Y/N's sake?" Hyunjin asked.

"And for each other's," Minho replied meaningfully and even winked at Hyunjin!

"Hello, I'm still here, Romeo and Julio," you teased them.

"Oh, get over it, Desdemona," Hyunjin chuckled.

"Hey! Did you even get the meaning of the play? Desdemona was innocence personified. Unlike me."

"Truly, you're the villain of our story," Minho joked.

"Not the point but whatever," you rolled your eyes. "If Othello hadn't been a jealous prick, poor Desdy would have still been alive! Ah, the tragedy of it all."

"I gotta admit, Felix made Othello seem kinda...fluffy," Hyunjin observed.

"I know, right?" Minho exclaimed. "Even when he was smothering our girl with that pillow, I was like...wait, are they cuddling?"

"Totally," Hyunjin shared his view.

And despite you being the object of ridicule, there was nothing that brought you more joy than your loved ones finally agreeing on something.

To be continued...

[justalittletomato]

Of Dragons and Fantasies  (Eddie x Fem!reader) SMUT 18+

A GIANT SHOUT OUT TO @literatureandqueen who really helped with the start of my decent into Eddie Munson and shout outs to @eyecandyeoz who continues to support and encourage said descent! 

@spookiifi​ @apocalypticwafflekitten​ @stardustbee​ Some fellow Eddie fans...first time writing smut for this fella..im a tad rusty  Warnings: SMUT 18+ ONLY,  MINORS DNI, sex, P in V, unprotected sex ( wrap it up y’all), roleplay  let me know if there is any I missed. 

“You have reread that book like what 5 times?” 

The copy of the Fellowship had been scoured from a bookshop in town, already secondhand with its spine cracked and pages yellowed but nonetheless it was a treasure on its own. 

“What can I say I am consumer of fine literature.” 

You laugh at that, “Munson, I know you love to mark the pages with Arwen in it,” 

“No! I just appreciate the elves!” You quickly snatch the book from him and begin to read about the: most beautiful high elf of her generation” a smile on your lips as you flip through the many instances where the Lady of Rivendell was mentioned. Eddie did enjoy himself with a pretty girl. 

“I’d say you had a crush on her!” 

He turns bright red at that and tries to snatch the book back, 

—

You knew exactly what this was doing to him, good. It was the effect you wanted as you once again went around him, the long gown dragging behind you. 

Soft blue velvet texture hugged just right, the chiffon sleeves giving a dainty and mystical appearance, and the low neckline gave a lovely view of the tops of your breasts. Eddie was frozen to the spot, eyeing you wide-eyed as you pushed a lock of hair behind your ear. 

Undeniable points glued to the tips of your ears. Tonight you would be one of Eddie’s fantasies…

His room had been slightly cleared for your visit, not the best but it was an effort. Hell, he even tried to make it romantic with some candles that you will discreetly turn off, don't want a fire hazard while the two of you enjoy another’s company. 

“How did you? This dress?! You?!” he sputters unable to praise coherently. 

“Early Halloween costume, do you like it?” you know he loves it, that look in his eyes is telling. You let your gaze lowers, a smile playing at your lips. Hell, he loves it…

“Yeah…” he is trying to get another glance at your side, you make it better and give a slow twirl, the long dress spinning below while all your form moves. 

An ever quiet ‘fuck’ heard escaping Eddie’s lips.  He was not going to let you out of sight tonight. 

—

You give a loud moan as you have pressed again the wall, Eddie’s lips at your throat savoring the soft perfume he loved and leaving marks all over. Your sported more scarfs and turtle necks now due to Eddie Munson. 

Hands traveled down and up, he couldn't help but savor the fantast you brought to him. 

A soft whimper as he moves up from your neck to the shell of your ear. 

“A pretty elven princess all mine for the taking.” a hitch of breath as he bites down on your earlobe. Pressed against you, his hard-on pressed to your thigh you reach to tug your dress down. Eddie grabs your hand quickly. 

“Oh no Princess, you are keeping that dress on all night.” 

Your face burns, oh he really wanted to live out his fantast didn't he? 

—

Most of your dress stays intact minus the bit of undoing of the straps at the front, you moan as Eddie undoes it enough so your tits are on display. 

You shiver at the cold touch of his rings pressing hard as he gropes at your chest, your own hands moving to undo his jeans. Fingers brush over his hard cock as you tug down the offensive clothes. 

You wanted all of him. Fingernails scraping up his hips and under the signature Hellfire teeshirt, if you got to stay in the dress it was only fair that you got Eddie out of every piece of clothes.

The dress is given the utmost care as it's pushed upwards to give Eddie access between your legs, your poor cunt already soaked from the heat of it all. 

“Aw Princess you even got matching lace panties…these are mine now, you know.” 

You can't help but laugh, many a panty had gone missing from your trysts with Eddie, these white panties would be the latest. 

“You better pay me back for them,” 

“Wallet is dry, Princess but I can work off my dues,” 

—

The mattress springs protest but there will be no stopping. Your legs hitched on Eddie’s hips as he pounds away into you. 

Quick and fast thrusts that echo, the telltale sound of sex. You claw at Eddie’s back, harder and faster. 

He grips under your thighs harder, his nails will leave bruises and crescent marks and you loved it. 

“Gonna get you a crown, Princess, get you absolutely ruined…” 

Your cunt seems to enjoy that idea, Eddie moaning, “You like this huh? Being my Princess? Should fuck you all dressed up all the time,” 

You mewl and try to meet his fast thrusts, “Please….” you beg. 

The kisses are not sweet whatsoever, harsh, almost biting, your pretty dress disheveled, and the pretty braids you had worked so hard on disarrayed from Eddie’s touches. You must be an absolute sight. 

A sight Eddie was worshipping, moving harsher and faster and having you gasping. 

“Almost there…” he bites at your lip,

Your begs of don't stop obeyed and frantic movements have the bed loud and threatening to break. 

Your scream is devoured in another biting kiss as Eddie comes with you. Panting and shivering pleasantly you hold tight to him. You will never tire of this…

Nor will Eddie, pulling back with a big grin on his face and already hard once more. 

“EDDIE?!” you manage before he is moving you onto your belly and rubbing himself on your exposed ass. 

“Can’t expect me to just have you once, Princess…can’t pass up the chance.” 

—

[crabussy]

Can you recommend any good horror podcasts that arent just TMA and the purple eye town one?

OH ABSOLUTELY. I only have a few because I only recently (few months ago???) got into horror podcasts but boy are they good.

Hello from the hallowoods is definitely my top recommendation. It has every flavour of queer you could imagine, I can think of literally one cishet character and he's ace WHICH IS AWESOME. There's trans ghosts seeking revenge, repressed gay men who turn people into instruments, stitched-together monstrosities who are 7 feet tall and super polite (AND THEY'RE NONBINARY), goths who use neopronouns, intersex girls with FANTASTIC luscious moustaches, and so so much more. It's wonderfully done and each character explores their queerness in different ways. Some have accepted it for a long time and its just part of their lives, some are only just finding themselves, some are actively fighting to be seen and accepted.

every character is fantastic and fleshed out with lovely arcs and character growth. The stories are haunting and thrilling and heartbreaking and distressing. There are elderly lesbians with crossbows and aromantic creepy girls with pet spiders and werewolves with gold threaded through their fur and gay old fishermen who gradually turn into all powerful eldritch beings.... SO much more.

The basic plot without spoilers is that the world has to some extent ended, due to black rain that fell from the sky around 20 years ago, twisting everything and causing horrors to form. The deer in HFTH have 3 eyes and two sets of jaws and shrieks that sound like they're dying. A kid who fell into a lake full of black water when he was 8 warped into a being towering over 10 feet tall who still has the brain of a little kid. its fantastic and beautiful and horrifying, nestled somewhere between sci fi and horror. A huge corporation called the Botulus corporation has created Dreaming Boxes, colossal metal cubes capable of holding over a million people, where you can escape the end of the world and dream for your entire life.

surprise surprise BotCo is terribly fucked up and corrupt, and revolution starts happening from the inside. Lady Ethel Mallory is like if lady dimitrescu was trans and wore heart shaped sunglasses and fur scarfs and had giant pet flies. I love her.

Your narrator is an ancient god who is secretly an overdramatic theatre kid. Their name is Nigiknik and they are SO indignant and SO poetic and overdramatic (on purpose, its his character). Pretty much every character is loveable and horrifying and so, so haunted

It's about 90 episodes at this point and new episodes come out every wednesday, it's one of the best horror podcasts I have ever listened to. please please check it out!!!

_______

Other significantly less long-winded recommendations:

Camp here and there, transmasc host, fast paced, set at a camp for kids in a TOTALLY NORMAL PART OF THE WOODS. yeah the sky is blood red yeah the trees eat people yeah there's a guy in a pink plastic elephant mask who stands at the treeline but its FINE.

The penumbra podcast is more sci-fi then horror but its absolutely horrifying. Juno, the protagonist, is such a good character. all the characters are fucking fantastic. Very very good story!!! Juno is a private eye who has to go around solving other peoples problems while trying to resist kissing people. its great and scary

I haven't listened to it yet but I've heard that Old gods of Appalachia is VERY GOOD.

thats all for now!!!!!

[yb-cringe]

s1 fwhip!!

of course! the og skrungly!

First impression: SCARY. idk why but first impression fwhip seemed so intimidating to me. a bit disconnected and sort of an admin vibes that ppl usually put on xisuma.

Impression now: schkrungly man loves his twin sister and his friends so much hes a lil overprotective and a mad scientist and he cries if he accidentally steps on his dogs tail

favorite moment: the rosebling swords forging! with the giant fire plume into the air? ohh fantastic its so cool. he rly said we’re gonna have twin swords btw. absolute icon.

idea for a story: ok im gonna b real idk what this one means does it mean like. a backstory concept? or fic concept? anyway for either of them i actually made a whole. uh. backstory for roseblings. that involved them not being actually twins but more of born on the same day and end up making a blood pact that makes them more. i guess genetically siblings. its a whole thing

Unpopular opinion: ……….. fwhimmy gang im so sorry but i do not understand the appeal of this ship whatsoever like usually im down for an enemies to lovers deal but i. i dont get this one personally. most fwhip ships i just dont like ^^;;

Favorite relationship: (counting any relationship btw not romantic centric) roseblings- obviously. gunpowder bros is pretty close after that. i feel like they had such a cool dynamic that had a lot of potential.

Favorite headcanon: idk if this is technically canon or not but sausage said fwhip knit bubbles a little dog sweater once so i had a hc that fwhip knits constantly, he made sausage’s scarf and gem mittens. however gem made fwhips iconic red scarf in an attempt to keep up with her brother’s hobbies and he never took it off.

[gorematchala]

So I wish I had the full body artwork to go off of but I've been staring at what they showed for like 6 hours total by now and I need to ramble about Fire Emblem designs.

Let me start by establishing my position on this series. I played Awakening and I dont care about any of the gameplay or plots of any of the games at all. My opinions are about the character designs and nothing else. Other than I think the child soldier void and the incest shit in Fates is kinda really fucked up. But anyway.

I'm okay with protags all looking like Marth. It really doesnt bother me. The Breath of Fire series has a blue haired dragony hero man and a blonde angel girl as the protagonists of every game and thats fine. I think its neat to have reoccuring character concepts like that sometimes. And I think that Marth, Sigurd, Ike, ect. are cool individual designs. Blue haired Lord class protagonist. Love it, totally fine.

Other weirder designs are also welcome. Robin being a weird dragon cult wizard clone thing was awesome. Corrin being a metal deer dragon, fantastic. Beyond the protagonists I dont even hate the non functional boob armor and such like Camilla in fates. Its a video game it doesnt have to be practical. But whats important about any design is about its functionality in terms of action. That the costume is cool to look at and consistent with what the character does or how theyre themed. You wouldnt give a thief character Black Knight armor, and the Black Knight would look weird fighting with a rapier. But Lucina wants sweater armor? Fine, shes supposed to be agile and she fights with a straight sword. Shes cute, let her be. HOWEVER.

While Robin is really great, and Corrin is extremely interesting, and Alm/Celica are absolutely perfect in their redesigns, FE3H introduced some of the worst character designs maybe in video games as a whole. I'm not just talking about Byleth but I could write a book about how bad Byleth's costumes are. I wont cuz I'm gonna do that for the new one. But the long and short is you've got monotone grey costumes that are half batman armor half cutist robes, with weird desaturated pink trim which doesnt match anything else on the design, with grey blue hair, and a neon purple dagger. The color theory alone is infuriating. Then the models in game make it worse by looking horrific in their own right. My complaints about their amor are too specific to explain without me pointing at them and gesturing wildly so suffice it to say there is a way that armor should be shaped to create a nice visual flow and theirs does not do that.

Now with Alear... I'll start this one by establishing that on a base level theyre better than Byleth. I think in terms of hair the female Alear looks less like a yugioh zexel character which is good. The split color isnt the biggest problem for me but it is *too* saturated and kinda obnoxious to look at, and the heterochromia throws it over the top into being fully annoying. Female Alear has the giant eyeball problem that female Byleth had. I dont get why her tiara is grey when every other accent on both of them is gold. The guys hair would be fine if it wasnt glued together in the front creating this bizarre forehead window. They both have confusing bowtie/ scarf/ neck tie things going on. His disappears under his vest but of course her is suctioned between her balloon tits because of course. I like her skort thing but I dont get why they created visual lines that travel down to become the skirt pleats, bu then they have a belt creating a hard horizontal break in that flow, and why they decided to make the skirt blue because it wouldve looked better white? It wouldve been the same blue to white ratio as the male version because of her thigh strap things. And speaking of straps!! This guy has a strap attached from the end of his jacket to the knee guard on his greaves, and then his belt has a weird cross shaped offshoot that is like sewn to the back of the boot jacket strap??? The gold trim on their arms is kinda meandering and formless, it looks like they should have some kind of gauntlet covering the stuff on the forearm.

Like it isnt as awful as Byleth in terms of it being nothing, but now its too much, and whats there is kind of stupid. Additionally once again whoever is doing the modelling and animations is not doing the game any favors because they all look like mid quality porn models. Something about the placement of the eyes and mouth on all the female characters screams 3d hentai to me. It's also weird how much higher detail their heads are from the rest of their bodies.

I dont really have a point or a conclusion here but I'm just baffled as to why this series has had such a drop off with their character designs since 3H and its been eating my brain for a day now so here is your peak into my psychosis.

[shurisneakers]

shut in [9]

Summary: When your high profile mission goes terribly wrong, you’re forced to hide in a safehouse with a man you’ve never met before. With seemingly nowhere else to go, you’re forced to work together to figure out who is trying to have you assassinated before it’s too late. (Sam Wilson x Reader, Hitman AU)

Warnings: cursing, anxiety, ptsd, shooting

Word count: 2.8k

A/N: ok ok ok ok sam deserves the world and im mad that he’s not getting it

i also appreciate feedback so if you would like to, please consider dropping me an ask or comment ly guys!!

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

Previous Part || Shut In Masterlist

He was gone.

10:00am

Time had begun to slip past you. Days where you were forced to wake up at 4am were just a dreary memory you didn’t want to revisit. The rough shoves in the morning to have you awake enough to be in training by 4:30am only fell into the category of things you had forgotten over the time you had stayed here.

Maybe sleep wasn’t a luxury you weren’t allowed to afford.

10:30am

By the time you step into the kitchen, the loose structure of the day you had ahead of you was forming. Maybe if you revisited the small makeshift shooting range you had set up for Sam and you to practice. A couple of old soup cans, a flat boulder for them to sit on and you were good to go. He had allowed you to use his giant board for knife throwing too, laughed when you asked for permission before saying it was for the both of you. 

You made a sandwich for yourself, forcing it down your throat with water. Bread was starting to feel like cardboard and the jam just tasted like nothing. Peanut butter was even worse.

Losing appetite wasn’t an option, even though it had eroded a while ago. The best option was to just scarf it down with water. 

11:00am

Sam isn’t in the house, you had deduced. A morning run or maybe just some fresh air.

You checked for the notes he sometimes left for you when he went out. Something along the lines of when he’d be back, or why he’d left, or where you could find him. 

You looked on top of the fridge where he generally left them; someplace he knew you’d see. You didn’t find one.

You shrugged it off. 

Something felt wrong about the arrangement of the kitchen but you couldn’t place a finger on what it was. All the chairs were in its place, trash appropriately in the bin, no bowls were left from soup day in the sink to wash. 

The origami swan you had made still rested next to his paper airplane. Nothing seemed wrong or out of place. 

You pushed yourself to shake off the nerves, to get dressed instead. The shooting range was waiting for you.

12:45pm

When you shoot for thirty and get all thirty, it tends to get a little boring. Not that you were complaining; if even one was off you’d spend the whole day trying to make up for it.

Violent hobbies weren’t ideal. They weren’t even hobbies per se. Just skills you needed to keep sharp if you wanted to survive.

You even shot at the targets that you had hung up on the trees. Dangerous and completely Sam’s idea. Said the wind made them act like moving targets. Nevermind the possibility of a ricochet.

The target board was empty too. Admittedly, knife throwing was a little harder  to get used than shooting to but it still only took a few tries before you were hitting bullseye over and over again.

There just wasn’t anything to do. And you realised it had been this way for a while but you never noticed due to his lively chatter or how competitive it got with stupid games you were making up as you went. 

1:00pm

You learned against the counter as you ate, eyeing the room, trying to figure out what you had misplaced. The air was cold, even more so after the shower, so you threw on an extra t-shirt to aid you.

You made a noise of disapproval when you couldn’t find what was wrong. A quick wash of your hands before you made your way to the TV, fully intending to doze off while watching Megamind for the fourth time. 

You passed by the mini fridge on the way, noting how you needed to restock the ice cubes when you suddenly stopped in your path.

Your eyes peeled back to the small paper bowl Sam had crafted expertly that was still somehow managing to stick together. But that was what was wrong.

The keys were missing.

The fucking car keys and the pocket change you had taken from Pierce’s house were no longer there. 

Your body moved on autopilot, dragging you towards the front door. You yanked it open, door creaking under the pressure you applied on it.

Your heart sank. 

The car was gone.

1:20pm

You had all the possibilities listed out in front of you with the rest scratched out after you had rationalised it.

Someone had come in and taken the car, which wasn’t likely. 

Sam had stepped out but hadn’t mentioned it to you. If he did, why would he need the car?

Someone had abducted Sam, which was absurd on paper but still left a twinge of uncertainty because you couldn’t definitively rule it out. 

He had just left. Decided he was done and left. 

You stared at the last option. 

“Fuck,” you cursed.

You could feel his muscle shift as he looked at you. 

“What’s wrong?” 

You opened your mouth but shut it again. How do you explain it to him without sounding utterly ridiculous?

You wondered if it was that conversation. 

He wouldn’t leave after you told him, would he?

You hesitated before shaking your head.

He’d come back. He would.

1:45pm 

You had added a few more possibilities to the list but discarded it almost immediately.

You now found a place in front of the TV, watching but not registering what was said. Your fingers kept itself busy by playing with the hem of your shirt. You had thrown another one on since his jacket was missing with the rest of him. It had gotten colder.

The woman droned on about how much her husband loved the recipe she was making. It was Sam’s favourite segment, not because it was particularly fantastic or anything, but because it gave him forty five minutes of free content to trash talk.

Your eyes kept glancing up at the clock. Was it broken or was time much slower than you initially thought?

You almost felt like you were in a cognitive dysfunction; you couldn’t do anything other than while away time till you figured out what had gone wrong. 

2:00pm

If you weren’t paying attention, you wouldn’t have heard the soft crunch of twigs. The whirring of the wheels as it turned gently only made you sit up straight, hands on the gun that rested on the couch beside you.

It came to a stop. The gun was fully in your grip now, TV turned off to determine what the noises were.

It was the most agonisingly slow minute you spent listening as the car opened and shut, muffled by the distance. You were near the door, using the adjoining wall as a hideaway. 

The doorknob shook as someone tried to push their way in. 

“Sam?” you called out cautiously against your better judgement, mentally cringing. 

It took a second for his reply to return. 

“Hey, sweetheart. Let me in, will you? Stupid door’s not opening.”

Of course it wouldn’t. It was fingerprint activated.

Relief flooded your system, letting yourself hold the gun with only one hand as you hastily made your way to open the door.

However, you paused. As much as you wanted to fling the door open blindly, you waited, hand on the knob.

“Is someone out there with you?”

“What?” he sounded confused. “No, it’s just me.”

You opened the door slightly, peeking out through the sliver of open space. 

Sure enough, it was only him. The car was returned to the same spot that it was.

“Where were you?” You yanked the door open. You sounded way more aggressive than you planned to, you were sure. It didn’t matter though.

“Went to the store,” he said nonchalantly, stepping inside, and dropping the keys back where they were.

“What?” 

He was so relaxed about it, like it was nothing. It only irked you further than you already were.

“Drove the car till the highway, walked into town and went to the store.” He set the bag down. “What’d you do all day?”

“You went to the town,” you emphasised. “To the fucking store.”

“Yeah, I figured you would be up by the time I came back.”

“You were gone for hours.” You crossed your arms over your chest, fighting the urge to yell. You could talk it out calmly. You didn’t have to snap

You hoped he had a good reason. You sincerely hoped, for his well being and security, that he risked his life to go to public space.

“We’re way further out than you think. Nearest dollar store’s almost the next fuckin’ state if you’re walking. Had to ditch the car because it’s a little too flashy, even for me.” He lifted up the bag next to him. “Got us some ramen. And juice. That’s all we had cash for anyway.”

You stare at him, mouth slightly agape. 

“You could have been seen, Sam,” your tone was corrosive, the next best you could do instead of yelling. “For all we know, you could have been followed.”

“No one followed me. I made sure.”

That did nothing to alleviate the anxiety that was crawling into your head. 

“You’re ridiculous,” you muttered. “Fucking ridiculous.”

“Where are you going?” You ignored him, turning on your heel and walking to the bedroom. You didn’t care if it was his day that day. He could rot in the kitchen with his stupid ramen for all you cared.

You cursed as you slammed the door behind you, launching yourself onto the bed. 

There was no denying you were relieved that he was still alive and here. But fuck him. Fucking dickhead. 

Fucking juice.

You spent the next couple of hours feeling absolutely embarrassed for yourself. Why did you spend hours worrying if he was safe when he was out there, gallivanting in public for some stupid noodles?

Both of you could have been absolutely fucked if he wasn’t careful. He may have just jeopardised your entire set up.

But deep down, no matter how much it was annoying to acknowledge, you knew he wouldn’t have. He was smart, strategic. 

Why would he do something like this?

How much you were worried scared you. There was no time where it had occurred that maybe you were in danger too. Every possibility you came up with only pushed the thought of him possibly in trouble further into your head. 

But the more you spend time overthinking, the more you realised that him being in danger wasn’t the entire cause of your worry. 

What if he didn’t come back? Why’d he come back? 

He had the means to leave, the will to and clearly was able to go undetected for a while. He didn’t need to return, but he did. 

And for what; to give you some food he bought from the dollar store. 

He seemed excited about it too, before you had closed the door on his face and decided to spend the next few hours self-destructing.

Fucking ramen.

Maybe if you could just lie there until you decomposed, then you wouldn’t have to have a conversation with him about this. That’s what you would have done a couple of months ago. 

But now the idea of communicating had been implanted and implemented several times before. It didn’t feel right to push it away, not when you’d come so far. A chance to heal.

You groaned, shoving a pillow onto your face before getting up grumpily. 

Fuck this man and his stupid, healthy methods of coping. 

___

You opened the door slowly, creeping into the hallway to assess what he was doing. It had been a few hours of silence in the house. He had given you space, not come knocking on the door to explain himself. 

You took note of the kitchen. The table had been laid with two bowls of noodles covered with a plate along with a glass each of juice. It was domestic. Cute.

He was watching Die Hard but the volume was turned down low. If he was anything like you, he wouldn’t have been paying too much attention.

You cleared your throat awkwardly to grab his attention.

His neck craned to look at you, surprise flashing across his face for a second before he leapt up, turning off the TV in an instant.

“Y/N,” he stated as normally as he could.

“Samuel,” your tone was steady. 

He scratched the back of his neck nervously. “Wasn’t sure if you were gonna show up.” 

“Neither was I.” You looked at the table, gesturing towards it with your shoulder. “Watchu got there, Gordon Ramsey?”

Because screw him, but the longer you stood there staring at the bowl, you were starting to understand the lengths he went to to get something other than bread, peanut butter and soup. As much as the prospect of being petty thrilled you, you had survived on nothing but them for the past few weeks.

“Got a few packs of ramen and a gallon of juice from the store. Thought you- we deserve somethin’ nice.” You noticed his quick coverup but didn’t acknowledge it. “It’s not Michelin star worthy, but it’ll do.”

You nodded, avoiding looking at him.

“I-”

“Hey-”

Both of you started at the same time, only to be cut off by the other. You mentioned for him to continue.

“Listen, I’m sorry. I should have told you before I left,” You didn’t expect the sincerity that exuded from every word he let out and you found yourself unable to look away. “I’m not used to people worrying about where I go... but things are different now. I won’t do it again.”

You weren’t used to the feeling of lightness that accompanied an apology. Relief. 

“Thank you,” you said breathily. His face noticeably brightened. “But why’d you come back?”

His small smile left as soon as it came, as his face fell into a frown. “What?”

“You could have just left. You had the car, the-” you stopped yourself from listing out reasons why he should have. “Why’d you come back?”

He looked completely confused. 

“Because I wanted to,” he voiced. “Leaving you behind was never an option. I wouldn’t-”

He trailed off, eyes never leaving yours. 

“You’re stuck with me,” he urged softly. “We’re a team.”

You lingered on him longer than you wanted to admit. He wasn’t lying, you had realised. 

“Care to join me for dinner?” he asked, extending a hand to you.

You rolled your eyes but took it, feeling the heat creep up your neck. He smirked at you and fuck, he was frustratingly cute. 

You understood. You totally understood when you nearly died at the first bite you took, vowing to never take food like this for granted again. It may have been the absolute bare minimum; just the seasoning and noodles he had cooked in the microwave, but it was the best goddamn meal you ever had.

“Good, right?” He looked about as content as he could be. 

“Best fuckin’ day of my life.”

He kidded around some more. You choked out a laugh at some, wholly ignored the others to which he took complete offence. You saw it as a way to humble him.

This was the normalcy you had crushed your craving for so long ago, accepting that it wouldn’t ever happen. A normal dinner with someone who made you smile, no impending doom lurking around the corner and maybe a shot at a glimmer of something happy. 

It was strange that you found it with another hitman in a safe house, hiding from authorities and who knows what else, with food worth a couple of cents. You wouldn’t want it any other way.

Yet there were things that had to be discussed. Conversations that needed to happen.

“Sam, we need to talk about it.” You didn’t have to explain, he knew what you were talking about.

“What’s wrong?” 

“I need to tell you something and I need you to hear me out before saying anything,” you pulled away from him, shuddering at the sudden cold that enveloped you. 

“I’m listening.”

“We do,” he agreed, and you could feel the atmosphere in the room begin to shift. “But we don’t have to do it now.”

He reached across from where he was sitting, hesitantly interlacing your fingers. The sense of fluster you experienced wasn’t healthy, you decided.

You just ducked your head, fighting against the damn smile that was trying to make its way onto your face. You didn’t pull away.

“Okay.”

Next part

[crystalkleure]

ruwei, if ur still awake? ^^

I did indeed fall asleep lol but I HAVE AWOKEN ONCE MORE to DEPOSIT SPINTOPS UPON THINE DASHBOARD

I actually don't remember that much about poor Ruway because I watched God back when it wasn't subbed at all, and haven't properly REwatched God because it's STILL not fully subbed, hhgh...so I never knew a damn thing about anything he was saying Ever, BUT

1. This man is running around in his pyjamas. I respect him for that.

2. I think he should have hit more people with that giant stick he had. You can't just HAVE a giant stick and not brain somebody with that thing.

3. This is still hilarious. My guy why were you doing this. How did you even GET there. What was the point of this maneuver. I PROMISE there are better ways to exercise your leg meat and stretch out your tendons or whatever and those better ways do not look nearly this silly.

4. This is ALSO still hilarious. Xhaka caught that thing. Ruway's fingertips are only barely touching it. He's too much shorter than Xhaka is to be contributing any support here at all. HELPING™

5. This is normal. This is the most normal thing I've ever seen. How many scars do you think he has on his shoulders.

Also how buff is that bird. And how is that bird still able to fly while carrying all of that weight. Either that is some kind of ultra hi-tech robot disguised as an animal or Ruway weighs less than 10lbs.

6. He dumped water on himself just because he thought it looked cool. He got the floor all wet. Mr. Coolguy McSlippingHazard. Very badass. Much inconvenience to everybody around him.

Every time a character dumps water on their head like this I keep expecting them to get up and then immediately slip and bust their ass in the giant puddle they just made on the floor right in front of them. How does that never happen. That would be funny as shit.

7. One of the biggest things I remember about this poor bastard is how many times he just utterly ate shit onscreen. Him just constantly losing all the time was practically a meme by the end of the season. Even HE clearly wasn't even surprised anymore when it happened by that point. He made the fakest Surprised Pikachu Face I've ever seen while watching his bey go pathetically sailing out of the dish right past him one time.

"Oh dear, it seems I have lost. Again."

8. I still think Ruway should wear his hair around his neck like a scarf. At least occasionally. My hair's longer than his and that's what I do with it sometimes. Gets it out of the way real well and looks funny as a bonus.

This guy is just nuts, I love it. He's the kind of crazy that is completely calm while it is crazying because it thinks it looks extremely cool and not at all entirely deranged. I think this is fantastic. I wanted to see him and Xhaka tear the entire Snake Pit inside-out actually onscreen, I'm forever going to be mad that we didn't actually get to see the carnage happen. Bighuge Brick Of Solid Muscle Xhaka just crushing shit with his bare hands and tiny little insane chihuahua bitch Ruway biting everyone's ankles clean in half. Come on. Please.

[borisbubbles]

My favourite Dorian Quotes

Just as an addendum, since my previous didn’t exactly put across the hilarity of Dorian, here are my favourite quotes/conversations/reactions by Dorian Pavus in Dragon Age 3.  Edit 22/01: added a few more because Dorian just keeps giving.  60.  Dorian: Come on Varric, just answer the question. 😣 Varric: My mother didn’t raise any morons, Sparkler. 🙄 Dorian: But you must have an opinion! And you’re a Dwarf! Completely unbiased. Varric: There is no way I’ll answer “Which Inquisition Mage is the best dressed?”, not for all the gold in Orzammar. Vivienne: Also, the answer is obvious. 🙂 59. Dorian: So what's your estimation, Varric? Think we could win? Varric: 😱 You aren't asking me to give odds on our beloved Inquisitor's success?! 😛 Dorian: What would that look like? Three to one? 🤣 Varric: In his favor?  Dorian: After Corypheus pulled an archdemon out of his arse, are you joking? Inquisitor: You would actually bet against me?  Dorian: Now now, if I weren't here, it would be five to one at least. 😘 Inquisitor: I’ll take those odds, actually. 😏 Dorian: This is why I adore him so.  😍 58.  Cassandra: So Bull, about Dorian... Iron Bull: Yep, it’s true. 😁 Dorian: By all means, let’s discuss this all together. 🙄 Cassandra: If you’re both pleased Dorian: He’s happy, I’m happy, everybody’s happy!  Iron Bull: Awww, you’re happy. 😍 Dorian: 😣 Cassandra: 😄 57. You joke! they’ll be writing books about you, boring ones that will get it all wrong. Just you wait!   56.  Iron Bull: Yesss, we’re going to fight the dragon, boss? Oh THIS is gonna be GOOD.  Dorian: You are way too excited about this. 😑

55.  Blackwall: How do you get your hair to do that, Dorian? With magic? Dorian: With proper hygiene and grooming. Maybe the three of you should get acquainted. 🙄 54.  Cole: You’re happier now, Dorian Dorian: Oh is that what this light tingly feeling is? I suppose you’re right. 😏  Cole: Wishing but wondering, wounded and whistful Cole: What if he doesn’t want me after? Dorian: But he did. 😁 Cole: Now you’re smiling. It’s good.  😃 53. Varric: Does this shit make any sense to you? Dorian: Are you referring to the giant gaping hole in the sky, or the creature from a Chantry cautionary tale pretending to be a god? Varric: Either. I’m feeling generous. Dorian: What’s the matter? Some pretender comes along, tears the place down, declares himself king. That’s half of history. Varric: Corypheus is like that drunk uncle who refuses to leave the party? Dorian: Even after he puts a hole in the ceiling. Terribly common.  52.  Sera: You gonna warn me the next time you’re throwing your magic around? Dorian: As long as you’re careful where you shoot all those arrows Sera: You magic me, I’ll put three in your eye! Dorian: 😅 Now we can live together in peace and harmony!  51. Vivienne: Dorian, what did you think of little Sera’s last Red Jenny mission? Dorian: Hmm... I’d call it ‘medium’. 🤔 Vivienne: ‘Medium’, my dear? Dorian: It wasn’t rare, and it certainly wasn’t well done. 😏 50. Cole: Dorian, what is 'a slave'?  Dorian: FESTISBEIUMOCANAVERUM! 😨 Cole: You said I could ask questions! Dorian: I know I did, just... go ask the Inquisitor that one. 49. An optimist! 🤣  such a rare breed, I have stumbled upon a unicorn. 48. Dorian: What I wouldn't give for some proper wine.😫 Vivienne: Skyhold's steward is a sadistic little man who is trying to kill us. 🤢 Dorian: Perhaps he found a bargain he couldn't pass up, on vats of vinegar? 47. Cassandra: Why are you looking at me like that, Dorian? Dorian: I am trying to imagine what you would look like... in a dress.😈 Cassandra: Keep wondering. If my uncle couldn't put me in one, neither shall you. 46. Dorian: How do you want to be remembered, Cassandra? Valiant yet sexy rebel against the status quo? Cassandra: I don't have any control over how I'll be remembered. 🙄 Dorian: Sword raised high, blue scarf dramatically fluttering in the wind, sun rising behind you? Cassandra: Blue scarf?😒 Why would I be wearing such a thing? Dorian: It's a painting, of course! Work with me( It'll be fantastic! 🤗 45. Dorian: Why is it so cold? How do you southerners stand it? Iron Bull: What's the matter? Not enough slaves around to rub your footsies? Dorian: My ‘footsies’ are freezing, thank you! 😒 44.  Blackwall: Dorian, I’d appreciate it if you stopped refering to me as ‘that hairy lummox”.  😠 Dorian: When did I do that? Blackwall: At the tavern, the blacksmith’s, the stable. You said it to the gateguards when we left Skyhold! Dorian: hmm... 🤔 yes, that does sound like me.   🤗 43. Dorian: Watch out where you point that thing! 😡 Iron Bull: Dirty! 😏 Dorian: Vishante kaffas, I meant your weapon! 😡 42. Dorian: What would you say Blackwall's best feature is, Vivienne? Vivienne: His absence, of course. 🙄 Blackwall: I can hear both of you. 😒 41. Dorian: Did you know we are actually related Inquisitor? Inquisitor: We, what? Dorian: Not first cousins or anything. Can you imagine?  Dorian: I however did a bit of digging in my family tree, and somewhere down the netheregions of my line there was also a Trevelyan. Dorian: Perhaps the one who went to Ostwick to establish the branch? I knew we looked so alike for a reason. 😏 Inquisitor: Um, yay?  Dorian: Indeed! 😁 Yay! 40. I’m always nice. 😏 39. Dorian: I don't know if you've heard, but the rumours are that you and I are... intimate. Inquisitor: That's not such a bad thing, isn't it? Dorian: I don't know, is it? Inquisitor: Do you always answer a question with a question? Dorian: Perhaps you would like me to answer in a different fashion? 🤔 Inquisitor:  If you're capable. 😅 Dorian: 😘🥰😚 Dorian: 'If you're capable.' The nonsense you speak. 🤭 38. Dorian: You caught the eye of a young woman in that last village, Blackwall. Blackwall: I'm sure you're mistaken. 😒 Dorian: You're right. She was undoubtedly looking at me.🤭 37. Dorian: Vivienne, I have only the one question - why the Orlesian fixation with masks? Vivienne: It is The Game, darling. You never show the players your true visage. Dorian: A strange custom in a culture where people assassinate each other for putting too much salt in the soup Vivienne: An extra hurdle to be overcome. Fail at The Game, and you die. Dorian: And you people call Tevinter barbaric. 🙄 36. Dorian: You are smiling a great deal these days, Cassandra. 😉 Cassandra: I am not... smiling. 😒 Dorian: Now you're not, but only because I pointed it out to you. Cassandra: I am not a giddy schoolgirl! 😡 Dorian: That would have been easier to believe if you hadn't just blushed. 🤗 35. You’ll be surprised at the credit my tongue gets me, your Reverence.  34. Dorian: Sera, I see you are having fun with your illustruous paramour- Sera: WHAT? 😨 Is it showin'? Dorian: What? NO, oh heavens NO. 🤢 Dorian: I meant to ask if you're enjoying your new relationship. Sera: Then why not just say that? 🙄 Dorian: I did... in words you apparently don't understand. 😑 Sera: What's the point of words you know and others don't? Who'd you say them to? 🙄 Dorian: Letmejustdobothofusafavorandretractthequestion. 😡 Sera: Pity, because we're doing great. That's why I'm following her around with weirdies 🤗 33. It was fun to goad you, Cassandra. You get that knot between your eyes when you're flustered - Ah, look, there it is! Delightful!  🤗 32. Dorian: I half expect my mother to materialize from the crowd to criticise my manners. Inquisitor: Where would we be if you mother we really here? Dorian: Short one mage, after he's been dragged out by his earlobe. Inquisitor: I have a hard deal imagining that. 😅 Dorian: Picture me a young boy of five years then. She certainly always has. 🙄 31. Dorian: 'Official Mage to the Orlesian Court'. Well that sounds exciting. 🙄 Vivienne: It's an esteemed position, darling. One many mages should envy. Dorian: Yes, I suppose being paraded around like an exotic peacock is better than frantically running from templars. 🙃 Vivienne: Better an exotic peacock than one Tevinter rat amongst many. Dorian: Oh? A dig at my homeland? This should be fun. 😏 30. Sera: Dorian? Those words you say. What do they mean? Dorian: What, you mean like mendicant or ultimatum? 🤨 Sera: No, arse, when you're mad. 'Pish-anty cough-ass'. You're swearing, I know it. Dorian: Ah, 'vishante kaffas'. It's Tevene, relics of the old tongue. We still use the colorful phrases. Sera: And it means what? Dorian: Literally? 😏  'You shit on my tongue.' Sera: 😂 Why not just say that?  Dorian: A mystery for the ages.  29. Sera: Demons! Flappy robes! Dorian: Thieves! Dog Stink! Sera: Culty shits! Dorian: Treacherous teyrns! Sera: Wha- It’s not a proper game of ‘Your people are shit” if you just make up words. 🙄 Dorian: A ‘teyrn’ is a Fereldan title, just below that of a king. I thought you of all people would know that. Sera: Well that’s just... I... smartasses 🤬 Dorian: Too late! I believe that’s my round. 🤗 Sera: Piss! 😠 28.  Vivienne: You’re rather amusing, Dorian. Dorian: Your outfit’s entertaining, I’ll give it that.🙄 Vivienne: Pretending to be a shark from a land of sharks. But you’re not a shark and you’ll never be one, darling. They knew this as much as we do.   Dorian: I could have of course pretended, wore fancy clothes, convinced everyone I’m something I’m not.  Dorian: Then I could take a position at court, whore myself out, and desperately hope no one realizes what a fraud I am.  Vivienne: Such snapping for a fish without teeth! 😂 Inquisitor: I cannot believe the way you two speak to each other. 😨 Vivienne: Inquisitor whatever is the matter? We’re having a perfectly civil conversation. Dorian: It’s true. I’ve heard worse from the gardener back home.  27.   Dorian: Varric, you owe me five royals. I’d like them paid in candied dates. 😉 Varric: I haven’t lost that bet yet, Sparkler. Dorian: You said we would be arse-deep in trouble. This is more like knee-high. Varric: I didn’t specify whose ass, did I? 😏 Dorian: Leave it to a dwarf always lowering the bar. 🙄 26. I hope you tried the ham they were serving, by the way. Tasted of despair. Fascinating. 25. Dorian: Vivienne, we can continue this dance forever if you like. Vivienne: Certainly. Provided both of us are capable. Dorian: I mock Orlesian frippery and nonsense, you slam Tevinter decadence and tyrrany. Dorian: There's however something more important we must remember. Vivienne: And what might that just be? 🤨 Dorian: At least we're not Antivan. Vivienne: 🤢 Quite right. Thank the Maker. 🙏 24. Cassandra: You're not as handsome as you think, Dorian. Dorian: Ah, but I must be! Or you wouldn't have been thinking about it all this time.  😏 Cassandra: Anyone who claims it as often as you must be dreadfully concerned they're not. Dorian: Look at this profile - Isn't it incredible? Dorian: I picture it in marble. 😏 Cassandra: 😒 23. Flying cows over Minrathous? Preposterous! Okay that one is actually true, but the cows didn't have wings. 22. Dorian: I have only one question, Sera: did you cut your own hair?  Sera: Yeah. Why wouldn't I? 🙄 Dorian: You could try using something other than a rusty butter knife. Sera: Oh, excuse me while I dig up my diamond-studded hair-cutting whatevers. 🙄 Dorian: Scissors. 😏 The word you're looking for is "scissors." 😏 21. Iron Bull: Quite the stink-eye you've got going, Dorian. Dorian: You stand there, flexing your muscles, huffing like some beast of burden with no thought save conquest. 😡 Iron Bull: That's right. These big muscled hands could tear those robes off while you struggled, helpless in my grip. Iron Bull: I'd pin you down, and as you gripped my horns. Iron Bull: I. Would. Conquer. You. 😏 Dorian: Uh. What? 😨 Iron Bull: Oh. Is that not where we're going? 🤐 Dorian: No. It was very much not.😳 20. You can't call me pampered, Varric. 🙄 Nobody has peeled a grape for me in weeks. 19. Sera: Dorian are you going to warn me the next time you bust out in demons or sumthin? Dorian: 😂 How exactly do you picture me 'busting out’? Dorian: I am just walking along and *OOPS* - demon? Dorian: I mean it could happen, after years of training. You could also trip and impale your eye on an arrow. 😏 Sera: So are you going to warn me or not? 🙄 Dorian: Certainly. But only because you're so dear to me. 😘 18. Dorian: For being so unnerved by magic, you aren't shy about benefiting from its effects.🤔 Sera: I don't. I use normal things, not magic. 🙄 Dorian: You consider swathing yourself in flame or ice 'normal' and 'not magic'? 🤨 Sera: For one: it comes out a bottle. Sera: For two: I mess up, I get burned. You mess up, your head chucks up a demon. Sera: For three: Bottle, little burned, no demons. So there. 🤗 Dorian: That was only... you know, if it lets you sleep at night, never mind. 😒 17. Festis bei umo canaverum! I swear, if you don't come through this, I will kill you. 😖 16. Dorian: The first time I entered the Fade it looked like a lovely castle full of silks and gold. 😍 Dorian: I met a marvellous desire demon as I recall. We chatted and ate grapes before he tried to possess me. 😇   Vivienne: 🙄😒😠😡🤬 Dorian: Yes? I hear your southern Harrowings are slightly more strenuous. 😏 15. What do they call this place? A "bog"? Lovely word for it.  🙄 14. Dorian: Solas, what is this whole look of yours about? Solas: I am sorry? 🙄 Dorian: No, that outfit is sorry.😷 What are you supposed to be, some sort of woodsman? Dorian: Isn't that a Dalish thing? Don't you dislike the Dalish? Or is it some sort of statement? Solas: No. 😠 Dorian: Well, it says "Apostate hobo" to me. 😏 Vivienne: Unwashed apostate hobo, more specifically. 🙂 13. I AM TOO PRETTY TO DIE 😭 12. Dorian: Amatus, it's been so long. Did you miss me? Inquisitor: A little bit. Dorian:  😂 'a little bit' he says. I'll show you a little bit! Just you wait. 😏 11. Dorian: Sera, where do you get your arrows from? You have so many. 🤔 Sera: From your arse. That's where. 🙄  Dorian: My arse should open up a shop. It's apparently quite prolific. 😁 10. Ah, this reminds me of the time Mother took me boating in summer. Or rather, she had the servants take me on the boat while she sat inside with a cool drink.🙄  09. Inquisitor: Things are going well with the Bull, I take it? Dorian: He's glad I've returned, if that's what you mean. Nearly crushed three of my ribs with that ridiculous hug. 🙄 Inquisitor: You say that as if you don't like it. 🤨 Dorian: For such a great beast, he can be such a terrible sap 🙄 Dorian: [bullvoice] "I want to talk about my feelings, Dorian". Dorian: Ugh. 🙄 Inquisitor: 😂 you do like it Dorian: Quiet you! He'll overhear, and then where I'll be?🤫 08. Dorian: Sera, I cannot believe you, of all people, are scared of magic. Surely you can see nothing wrong with a properly used tool? Sera: What about all the mages waving their proper tools in people's faces? Dorian: There's an image. 😁 Sera: "What about Corfyface? How many proper tools does he have under him? Dorian: That's not... I don't think I can continue. 😬 Sera: I don't care how gifted you are, don't cram it where it's not wanted. 😡 Vivienne: Maker, how does she not know? 🙄 07. Just once we should enter a cave and see normal sized spiders. 🙄 06. Cassandra: After all the places we have been, I hardly expected us to find ourselves in another cave. Cassandra: Still, as mad as our lives had been, I would take any chance to be together.  😘 Dorian: Why seeker, after all these years, I never realized you felt this way!! Cassandra: ... Dorian: ... Cassandra: 😒 Dorian: Oh, you meant him. 😶 05. Mountains! 😠 Cold! 😠 "Let's bring Dorian!". 😒 04. Dorian: I heard a little rumour that somebody has been doing some training. As an assassin no less. Inquisitor: I thought the skills might come in handy. Dorian: Yes, I suppose a little flair is welcome, with all the killing you do. Inquisitor: I don't kill that many people. 🙄  Dorian: Are you joking? I'm only surprised you didn't kill someone walking over here. 🤨 03. Cole: Breath painful, stabbing, and then real stabbing, lungs full, frothing, scent of apples as it all goes black. Dorian: 'Death By Applepie' - A lovely poem by our dear friend Cole.  02. Blackwall: Corypheus, one of yours isn't he? Dorian: One of my mine? 🙄  Like a pet? 🙄 Like a giant darkspawn hamster with aspirations of godhood? 🙄 Dorian: "Dorian, why can't you look after your little friends. Corypheus peed on the carpet again". Dorian: In this analogy, 'the carpet' is Haven. 😏 Blackwall: Is he or isn't he a Tevinter magister? 😒 Dorian: Meaning 'the source of everything bad in the world'? They are the same, yes? 😑 Blackwall: Sigh. Feels that way at times. 🙄 01. Inquisitor: No matter what happens, I wouldn't trade the years I spent with you for anything. Inquisitor: I love you. Dorian: I knew you'd break my heart, you bloody bastard. 😭