#The way Miles looks at Peter when he gives him his present is more desire filled than any way MJ has ever looked at Peter or vise versa

[phvnthom]

There was literally no reason for Miles to look at this man that way.....

[theturningsucks]

Miles Fairchild, was he groomed?

short answer, yes.

TW// this is an in depth analysis discussing grooming tactics, the psychological effects of grooming, and how they apply to Miles Fairchild and Peter Quint. With light discussion of SA.

What is grooming?: ‘Grooming is an intentional process that many offenders engage in to gain the trust of their victim and to desensitize them to physically or emotionally harmful actions. “ -Alcoholdrugcouncil.org

I mashed together CSAsurviors and rainn.org's "patterns of grooming" lists to create one that is more easily applicable to Miles and Quint situation. 

Victim selection: Abusers often observe possible victims and select them based on ease of access to them or their perceived vulnerability.

MIles is both easy to access, Quint lives with him, vulnerable from his parents death and isolated, from the house he lives in to the private schools he attends. the perfect victim for a man like Quint (disgusting and vile).

"Grooming can be done by any kind of person but the abuser having some level of pre-existing social or other kinds of power over the victim or a preexisting emotional connection like in the case of a family makes grooming easier". - CSAsurvivors 

Gaining Trust and Access: Abusers will track the behaviors of their victims and put themselves into the child’s pattern and befriend them. Often offering a child special forms of attention. They often fill holes in emotional support the child has or exploits other vulnerabilities. Grooming can also include things like giving presents, playing games, giving food or giving rides

My personal theory is while Miles' parents were alive, Quint was still at the "friendly" stage of grooming, gaining trust, getting on the child's good side.

It makes sense for MIles to get his emotional needs met by his parents, them passing and Miles looking towards Quint, who was the next best thing his "best friend''

He used Quints attention to fill the hole his parents death left him with 

Playing a Role in The Child’s Life: The abuser will ingratiate themselves fully into the lives of the victim. This often includes forming an emotional connection where the victims feel the abuser needs them and that they are the only people who understand each other. Showing up continuously and being there physically all the time

“Imagine a teen who is feeling isolated, who is struggling to name their gender or sexual identity and feels rejected by their family or peers. That teen will likely have a deep desire for connection, to feel “normal” or to be heard. Offenders will exploit this situation by being willing to listen patiently to “help them understand their sexuality” or by being the first person in their life to validate that “it’s okay to feel this way.” Offenders may increase the teens isolation by suggesting that they understand and care more than other people in the teen’s life.” -Alcoholdrugcouncil.org

Miles is bullied, We see this in the scene where he's describing to Kate how someone burned all the photos of his father,  and I think autstic. (although when you're autistic and heavily traumatized the symptoms often mold together and it's hard to see what’s from autism and what's from the trauma)

Miles feeling ostracized for his autsitic traits and taking comfort in Quint who would fulfill his desire to feel normal. Accompanied by the fact that Quint is physically there all the time, it creates the perfect environment for Quint to successfully fully integrate into Miles life. 

(Miles could also very well be gay, Quint could of used this insecuirty to his advatage)

Isolation: Abusers often isolate their victims, getting them alone like giving private rides, taking the victim for private time out, holding the victim after class, “mentoring” the victim, inviting them over, or otherwise separating the child emotionally and physically for abuse. Now depending on the relationship to the victim, this may happen on a spectrum. In some cases, abuse can happen out in the open if those around them won’t intervene.

One of the most solid pieces of canon, right there in the movie, evidence for Miles being Groomed is from Miss Jessel's journal. From that scene we find out Quint disappeared with Miles for hours and brought him to bars. This is a textbook grooming tactic.

The isolation from others (miss jessel, mrs grose, flora), made him able to further his manipulation and control. 

Although at some point this must of fallen through after the murder of miss jessel, maybe Quint overlooked Mrs Grose, didnt think she'd do anything. started bringing the behavior more obviously into the house. The power got to Quints head leading to his ultimate demise as Mrs Grose watched him die and didn't do anything because she found him "disgusting" ,

(the deleted scene "Mrs Grose's confession" also implies she new the grooming/SA was happening but didn't do anything)

Secrecy and Control of Relationships: This often combines things like trauma bonding and reinforcing how special the victim is and the victim/abuser relationship. Phrases like “no one understands” or “this is our special relationship”. Threats of suicide and self-harm are often common, so are threats of violence against the child and family. This is often where levels of trauma bonding really start to come into play. You start to get a pattern of behavior that causes extreme levels of positive emotions and extreme levels of fear, confusion and pain.

What is a trauma bond?: "Trauma bond is the connection formed between a victim and their abuser(s), often built during long-term abuse. Victims can develop a deep sense of loyalty towards their abuser, which can feel like genuine love and affection." - nfa.co.uk

Quint lived for control, after Miles parents death he immediately moved himself into the master bedroom. He secured his position of power and control over everyone. And kickstarting his process into trauma bonding, and the desensitization of touch and sexualization (more on that later).

Having a trauma bond would explain the emotions MIles displays towards Quint, The insistence that they were friends contrasted with the panic whenever Quints brought up.

“It's important to remember that children and young people may not understand they've been groomed. They may have complicated feelings, like loyalty, admiration, love, as well as fear, distress and confusion.” -nspcc.org.uk

(Speculation: threats of harm to miss Jessel and Flora, this could be a reason Miles is so protective of Flora. He puts himself, physically and emotionally, in front of Flora to protect her Whenever kate is around flora or upsets her.)

Desensitization to touch and discussion of sexual topics: Abusers will often start to touch a victim in ways that appear harmless, such as hugging, wrestling and tickling, and later escalate to increasingly more sexual contact, such as massages or showering together. Abusers may also show the victim pornography or discuss sexual topics with them, to introduce the idea of sexual contact.

While all of these things could of happened, I believe Quints main tactic was Desensitization through the sexualization of miss jessel. 

If Quint normalized sexual things, this could lead to things such as attempting to kiss Kate to apologize, inapropriate compliments. Lack of boundaries such as not closing doors when using the bathroom, walking into others rooms without knocking, etc. 

note that the lack of boundaries are DIRECTLY mirrored by Quint via Miss Jessels journal, she says "I have to sleep with my door locked, Quint tried to come in in the middle of the night" - video

(speculation:  Quint showed miles the polaroids of Miss Jessel)

Other behaviors Miles exhibits:

Being upset, withdrawn, or distressed

Sexualized behavior

Missing for periods of time

Having a best friends who are older

Having a disproportionate view of someone as amazing 

Unwillingness to accept help and support from potential rescuers (denying Kate's offer on talking about Quint,  not wanting to leave the estate at the end because of Quint)

Sudden changes in personality (Mrs grose's insistence that Miles was "such a sweet boy")

dissociation

(- nspcc.org.uk)

[stars-a-n-d-scars]

10 Days of Summer - Chapter 1

Hi so no one was really seeing this over on ao3 and I worked really hard on it, so I decided to give it a shot over here. The next 9 chapters will be coming soon, so follow me or the tag to see them!

- Mia x

*

It was the hottest summer Buckinghamshire had ever seen. The rolling fields were dusted with the final remnants of spring, as the less-resilient plants wilted and those suited to the sweltering conditions flourished. The sun sat high in the sky for so long that one began to wonder if the night would ever come. Of course, it always did, but was rarely accompanied by any sort of liberation from the fervor.

The only relief to be gleaned from the unnerving sensation of being cooked in your own skin could be found in the cool waters of a large, clear lake that sat beside a homely manor, nestled in the hills of the county. Hidden beneath the outstretched branches of various trees, the lake had been subject to many a morning swim or late-night gathering over the years. It was here, in fact, that the four marauders could be found, on the hottest day of August, 1975.

With Euphemia and Fleamont gone to France for the summer, the boys had taken the opportunity to spend their last 2 weeks at the Potter estate. Of course, James’ parents had been reluctant to let the boys stay there without a set of rules, and so they created a long list of guidelines, all of which the marauders had plans to break before their return to Hogwarts on the 1st of September. It had already been four blissful days of this, and they still had 10 to go when we join the group.

Sprawled in their various positions around the lake, James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew were all basking the shade of the trees, simply taking in this pocket of bliss they had found in a world that was becoming increasingly more war-like with each passing second. The sun was shining overhead and they were with each other. And in that moment, that was all they needed.

The silence was broken with a loud splash, followed by an indignant “OI!” Remus clambered out of the water and up the bank, his eyes fixed on is assailant, vengeance in his expression.

“You fucking moron! I was reading! You could have thrown any one of them into the lake! Merlin knows a good dip would’ve done Peter some good, but no! You had to choose me!” His outburst was cut short when he got close enough to take in Sirius’ expression. His face, far from showing any signs of regret, instead bore his signature Sirius Black smirk. One corner of his mouth was upturned, his nose scrunched in a way that suggested both innocence and the opposite. It was an expression that, on anyone else, would have looked out-of-place and frankly stupid, but that befitted Sirius’ features perfectly. Remus had often marveled at how it drew out his devilishly handsome side.

Having lost his train of thought completely, his wand limp in his hand, Remus decided the best thing to do was to go and find a nice warm patch of sun in which to dry off. Sirius, however, had other plans. Remus had barely taken two steps toward his towel before he was grabbed around the waist and thrown, for the second time that day, headfirst into the water.

Sinking was an enjoyable feeling. Down there, in the water, nothing could hurt you. It was all up to you. Sound became nothing but a detached concept, and time joined it in its alienation. You could sink forever, simply being engulfed by the soft waves of the water, and emerge not a second later. Remus did just that. As his head broke the surface, spluttering, he lashed out wildly and managed to grab hold of an ankle. Pulling hard, the owner of said ankle tumbled into the lake next to him, and Remus soon found himself floating, face to face, with Sirius, once again bearing that ridiculous grin.

As both of the boys tried to catch their breath, time stopped. And it was just them. Remus and Sirius, Sirius and Remus. Floating in that never-ending pool of possibilities. Breaths became heavy as an invisible force seemed to draw them closer, closer.

Their noses were nearly touching now Remus could see every detail of Sirius’ eyes from here. He could almost pinpoint the exact place where blue leaked into grey, which leaked into black. It was strange, really, how anyone’s eyes could be so captivating. Almost a point of curiosity. Eyes had a purpose. They captured light, which was then translated into information, which was then processed by the brain to take in the person’s surroundings. So why did all logic defy Sirius’ eyes to be so beautiful? They had no reason to be. It wasn’t to make it easier to see. It wasn’t to draw in a mate (because merlin, he needed no help with that), so why? Their breath mingled in the moist summer air, their lips inches apart. It was taking every ounce of restraint that Remus had in his not to close the gap and snog his best mate senseless, but then again, that was the norm when you were secretly in love with your best friend.

The tensions was shattered by the snap of a book closing.

“Alright, boys, I’m bored”, James announced, stowing Quidditch Through the Ages in the small bag he had brought down from the house. The boys sprung apart, all nervous coughing and straightening of hair. Remus hurriedly turned his back on his – what, crush? It was more than that. But he knew one thing for certain; now was not the time to figure it out. This was what he told himself as he climbed up the bank and rolled out onto the grass.

In an attempt to restore himself to his former state of nonchalance, Remus rolled his eyes sarcastically (quite successfully, given the situation he was actually thinking about).

“You’re reading that book again? You’ve barely taken your hands off of it all summer!”, he said, pulling Sirius up the bank after him (and definitely not thinking about the sensation of his friend’s warm, wet hand in his).

Sirius grinned. “Aw, lay off him Rem. This is the first year Lily had gotten him a birthday present. Honestly, I would be concerned if he read it any less than a thousand times.”

This comment was met with a playful shove from James, but the lovesick boy couldn’t hide his grin at the recollection of Lily’s favor. James shook the memory from his mind (with difficulty, it seemed).

“I’m bored. Let’s go to town, grab a milkshake or something.”

Sirius, always keen for an outing to the muggle town that was located less than a kilometer from the Potters’ house, agreed almost immediately. Peter followed suit at the mention of food, and began rummaging in his pocket for the stash of muggle money his parents had granted him for the holiday. Remus was somewhat more reluctant.

“I don’t know guys. It’ll be dark soon, and I don’t really want to go walking around a strange village in the middle of the night.”

“It’s not a strange village, Rem! Jamie grew up here!” (The use of the less-than-favorable nickname earned Sirius yet another shove). “Plus… there’s an antiques store. And last time I was there the owner said they’d be getting a new stock of books in this summer.”

“You know me too well”, Remus caved, and packed up his stuff. They went and dropped off their things at the main house, got changed into some town-going clothes and headed for the road that led down into the charming muggle settlement of Padbury.

**

It really was a lovely little town. Old cottages with thatched roofs skirted the border, with carefully-trimmed gardens of heather and honeysuckle. A beautiful old church sat in the town center, with a clock tower and a bell that frankly, shouldn’t still be operational, given it’s age. But, as many things in the town of Padbury, it seemed to be denied the effects of the passage of time, and instead chimed beautiful notes out over the countryside every hour.

The main road took the boys right into the middle of the town, where a collection of stores seemed to be waiting for them. The town square had everything, ranging from mechanics to diners, from supermarkets to florists. And, nestled in between a non-descript restaurant and a lavender-adorned wall, was a beautiful little antique store. Remus made a beeline for it, but was stopped in his tracks by James’ hand on his wrist.

“Come on Remus. Let’s go check out that comic-book store first! I love muggle comics, they’re so corny…”

Remus sighed, knowing that very few people could ever change his friend’s mind, and began to follow him across the street. But fortunately, Sirius was one of the people capable of performing that miraculous feat, and, in that moment, happened to be on Remus’ side.

“C’mon James. Remy doesn’t want to spend hours with you oggling at randos in spandex and getting inspiration for your next move at Evans. You take Pete over to the comic-book store, and Remus and I will go to the antiques shop.” Sirius shot a smile Remus’ way, which managed to both make his heart beat a million miles a second and stop it altogether.

James scoffed. “What do you want with an antique shop?”

“I have to get something for Reggie’s birthday, and he loves old dusty books and things. Plus, I have no desire to spend any amount of time dicussing whether or not Lily would think it was funny if you dressed up as Superman for halloween.”

Without giving James a chance to retort, Sirius dragged Remus back across the street and into the antique store before he even had a chance to register what was going on.

The second they entered the store, the rest of the world fell away. Somehow, the noise of the bustling street outside was silenced, and the only sound that could be heard was the ticking of an ancient grandfather clock that stood in the corner. Remus revolved on the spot, taking in every inch of the sequestered nook that they had just stumbled upon. Ornate carvings of all sorts sat in the windows, varying from animals to sprawling, intricate landscapes. Tapestries and paintings hung on the walls, each a moment of time, perfectly captured and eternalised on canvas. Furniture, bits and pieces and other oddments that had washed up in this place over the years were scattered haphazardly around the room, making for a display of authenticity that, although was now mostly gone from the world, seemed to have survived in this tiny corner of the English countryside. And the books. Oh, the books. They lined ever wall, and were stacked 10 high on shelves. Strewn and slid into every nook and cranny where they would fit. Not in any way categorized, but instead exactly where they were always meant to be. Delicate printings of Jules Verne, Ernest Hemmingway and even Shakespeare were mixed in with books as common as The Very Hungry Caterpillar. Remus closed his eyes and breathed. He breathed in the smell of dust and time. He breathed in the taste of the years these books had seen, the years he might catch a glimpse of between their pages. Be breathed because here, he could.

A soft hand rested on his shoulder and an even softer voice pulled him, somewhat reluctantly, from his reverie.

“Rem?”

Remus opened his eyes. It was Sirius. God, it was always Sirius.

“I’m going to look over here for something for Reggie”, he gestured to the carvings in the windows. “You take your time, okay? We have all day. Hell, we have all summer.”

Remus could do no more than nod as the comfortable weight on his shoulder lifted and he found himself alone again.

**

An hour and a half later, the boys exited the store with more books than anyone could possibly read, and two small, hollow carved flowers that Sirius had plans to enchant so that he could send his brother messages by placing a note inside his, and having it be transported to Regulus’.

They met up with James and Peter in the diner, and ordered four caramel milkshakes. When they came, Sirius whipped out his flask and added a little ‘extra flavour’, as he liked to call it. When the boys had finished their concoctions, they started to head home. However, it was quickly discovered that with the combined weight of Remus’ books, Sirius’ wooden flowers and James’ numerous gifts that he had gotten for Lily (“Maybe we should have gone with him, you know, for impulse control…”), it was going to be all but impossible to walk back to the manor. And so was hatched what was simultaneously the best and worst idea any of the marauders ever had. To rent a motorbike.

All they had to do was walk down to the mechanic down the street and rent one of the bikes they had going. They would only need it for a day, and would bring it back tomorrow. And so, the combined riches of James and Sirius making cost something of a trivial topic, the plan was enacted. The books were placed in a basket on the front, which was lowered so that Sirius could see. James’ takings from the trip were strapped (with slightly excessive security methods) to the back, and the flowers were placed in the side bags. After a few failed attempts at getting the bike started and close calls for the wooden ornaments, Sirius managed to be riding along next to the other boys at a steady pace. It took them no more than 20 minutes to get back home, at which point it occurred to them all that they were wizards, and could have easily bewitched all of the objects to float along beside them as they walked.

The boys ended the night collapsed around the living room fire. James charmed it so that it kept them cool, rather than warm, and Sirius entertained himself by making multi-coloured rainbows blossom from his wand. In the firelight, he looked over at Remus and smiled. Not a smirk, not a grin, a smile. And that smile what all it took for Remus to realise that he was totally and completely done-for. He was in love.

As Sirius went back to blowing bubbles, Remus began to drift off to sleep. The last coherent thought that entered his mind that night was this:

Merlin, it’s going to be a long 10 days.

*

I hope you liked it!!!

[the-mad-starker]

StarkerFestivals Holiday Exchange: Good Omegas

For @kingnorth​, So this fill is mostly cock stupid cumslut omega Peter but I also took something from the other prompts to come up with this 😅 I hope you like it 💗

Summary: 

Good omegas obey their alphas. Even tied up with a gag and blindfold, good omegas obey. Peter wants to prove he's a good omega.

WC: 2661

(AO3 Link)

Notes: Bondage, a/b/o dynamics, omega Peter, alpha Tony, heat cycles, facial, some dirty talk (also the bondage in here is realllly superficially researched so please don't come after me 😱) also, position is loosely based on this reference pic Here for how Peter's tied up

❄️❄️❄️

Caught up in numbers and equations, it was easy for Tony's brain to push aside any distractions. It was only when the soft whimpers grew louder that the alpha finally turned away from the monitor and looked to the side where his favorite spiderling was bound and waiting.

Peter made such a pretty sight, smooth, lovely skin flushed pink. The omega had been stripped completely, naked except for the red bands that kept him tied up, pretty as a picture. Bold and beautiful, they tied his arms behind his back and connected with similar bands that bound his ankles to his thighs, leaving his immobile and hogtied on the floor. Red was such a vibrant and attention-grabbing color. It suited Tony but seeing his color on the sweet omega was a far better picture. 

Around his head, Tony's tie was secured over his eyes. From where he sat, Tony could even see where the tears soaked into the fabric and turned it into a darker red. The color matched the boy's pretty lips even while they were stretched around a ball gag.

The alpha wasn't too worried even though the boy was increasingly begging for his attention the longer he was kept there. The position wasn't the most comfortable but Tony's nanotech would adjust to Peter's needy little squirming to a certain point. For someone like Spider-Man who had such a bendy little body, it wasn't too much of a hardship.

No, the reason his pretty little omega was crying for him was because he wanted to get fucked. Tony was several feet away from the boy but even that short distance was too much. It was enough to have Peter try to entice him closer Once the alpha came closer, it'd be easier for him to seduce Tony and get what he really wanted. 

The alpha's cock.

Tony remained where he sat although once he was reminded of the visual his mentee made, his cock started hardening in his pants. The boy couldn't see him anyway so Tony felt completely at ease about bringing a hand to his cock.

"What's wrong, kid?" Tony asked, voice low and intimate, as he started to touch himself over his clothing. It felt good to acknowledge the building pressure in his body. "It hasn't even been ten minutes and you're already hopeless."

The omega's restless wiggling stopped as he listened to Tony speak. His entire body trembled from the heat and his scent was enough to intoxicate alphas from miles away. It was good that Tony's labs were scentproof, as well as soundproof.

When Tony didn't continue, the omega grew restless once more. A soft noise escaped the bound boy but Tony wasn't taking the bait just yet.

Instead, the alpha started unzipping his pants. Peter jerked as though he'd been slapped. Without the boy's loud whimpering, the sound of the zipper being pulled down made it clear just what Tony was doing. Peter recognized that sound and trembled from the implication.

"You know," Tony sighed as he looked at the omega with hungry eyes. "I didn't expect it of you, kid. Didn't think you'd have the balls to come here… Stinking of heat and fuck me pheromones… Oh, fuck… Already so fucking hard and it's your damn fault..."

Tony had been caught off guard when the boy showed up, literally presenting himself as a sweet little morsel for the alpha to devour. 

It was too easy to believe that he was an innocent victim to biology just like Tony.

But Peter was an omega and omegas like him were dangerous with their sweet scents capable of scrambling an alpha's mind. Wide-eyed with color creeping up his neck, the beginnings of a heat just setting in… Peter had grabbed onto the older man and clung to him with pleading eyes as though he wasn't dripping wet between his thighs and begging to be fucked.

Tony had resisted all the others in the past but Peter… He couldn't resist Peter. He didn't want to. But that didn't mean he had to give in right then and there. No, he was going to give the sweet boy what he wanted but on his terms.

If Peter wanted Tony Stark as his mate, he was going to have to earn it. He'd have to take the full brunt of Tony's desire that had built up over years and years of restraint, of knowing that touching Peter, sweet, innocent Peter, would've been the worst thing to happen to either of them.

Because Tony would never let him go once he did.

The alpha's cock was dripping for the boy. Big, fat, cloudy beads formed at the tip and dribbled down the thick hot length. He squeezed the tip and more slid down, leaving trails of glistening wetness to cover his cock.

Tony was producing so much precum, his body getting ready to fuck. To breed. He had never felt like this until Peter came into his life, into his territory, that brilliant spark of sharp intelligence glazing over with the savage hunger of heat.

"Mmph–" Peter made a soft protest, muffled around the gag. He could hear the distinctive sound of flesh on flesh, Tony jerking off as he watched the omega writhe against the bonds.

That sound, amongst all others, made something inside the alpha snap.

Tony got up and his cock was heavy enough that it didn't stand straight up. Instead, it swayed between his thighs, thick and undeniable, as he walked over to the bound boy.

Peter's fuck me pheromones assaulted him the closer he got and a lesser alpha would've just mounted the boy right then and there. Pressed the boy's face to the cool tiles of Tony's lab with the alpha himself rutting into him, hard and fast.

Tony didn't doubt for a minute that that wasn't what Peter wanted. The boy would be drooling around the gag, mindless and straight up drunk off getting his first alpha cock.

With a grunt, Tony grabbed those precious curls and urged the boy to his knees. Peter whimpered but he was so pliant, so willing to obey to get what he wanted.

Then, as though to make up for his rough behavior, Tony gently removed the tie.

There was a glassy sheen to Peter's eyes as he blinked in the dim light. Then those eyes of his focused, the black expanding hungrily as he was met with the alpha's cock right in front of his face. He strained forward, against Tony's grip, as though he wasn't currently gagged and could take the alpha's cock into his mouth.

"Ahh… mmm…" He still couldn't talk but he didn't need to. Tony knew what he wanted to say.

Alpha.

"Look at you…" Tony murmured, completely transfixed on his heat addled protege. "Smartest omega in the world… Could probably break these bonds like matchsticks and here you are… Drooling for my cock. Letting yourself be bound and tied up like this… Just so you can taste my cum, huh?"

Peter whimpered but he didn't deny it. Didn't shake his head. He slowly leaned forward and this time, Tony loosened his grip and let the boy nuzzle against his dripping cock.

The way Peter's eyes drooped to half-mast and the soft, desperate little moan… He was getting a good dose of Tony's scent, getting wetter and wetter just by breathing him in.

"Slutty little omega," Tony cooed, petting the boy's hair back to get a better look at his face. "Slutty little cumdump. You'd let me fuck you… Let me knot this pretty mouth of yours… You'd let me do all that without a mating bite, won't you?"

A sharp inhale was his answer, the boy's eyes widening with the proposition. They both wanted more than that but with Peter as he was, he wouldn't turn down Tony's offer. 

The answer was clear. 

Yesyesyes. 

He'd let Tony do it. Let the older man defile his body, his hole, his mouth…

Tony's mouth curled up into a pleased smile, his own gaze lowering to the boy's lips.

Peter didn't have those big pouty lips that were often featured on magazines whenever people praised soft omega features. They were thin and often chapped, something Tony noticed early on. It still didn't stop the alpha from wanting to see them bruised from his teeth or wrapped sweetly around his cock.

He caressed the boy's cheek, thumb brushing over the strap that held the gag in place. Peter turned towards his hand and nuzzled against his palm, beseeching for more.

"Oh, sweetheart… What a mess you've found yourself in," Tony sighed, his subconsciously swaying towards the boy. "But you're gonna have to be a good omega for me. Are you a good omega, baby?"

Peter nodded eagerly, doe eyes pleading for Tony's praise but the alpha just continued talking.

"We'll see, won't we? First, I'm gonna wreck this pretty mouth of yours," Tony told him softly, "and you're gonna let me. You're just gonna be a nice wet hole for my cock, okay, baby? Maybe once I clear my head, I'll fuck that needy hole of yours. Maybe even give you that knot you're crying about."

Tony knew Peter wanted to protest. He could see it in the way the boy trembled, that desperate need to get fucked overriding logical sense. Instead, he heeded Tony's words and melted into his touch, lashes drifting closed as he accepted his fate.

That was all Tony needed to start.

He didn't even need to activate his armor to haul the boy into the air. His muscles strained to do it but Peter was on the lighter build for omegas. He fit perfectly in Tony's arms.

It only took a moment for Tony to reach his destination. The setup had been created while Tony worked and Peter was made to wait.

He set Peter down in the middle of the lab and commanded his nanotech to work. It was often hard for people to grasp the concept of his nanotechnology but what was known only scratched the surface of their capabilities. Whenever they thought about it, they imagined the hard, unforgiving metal that made up his suits. They didn't think about how it was flexible or how it could change and bend to Tony's will.

Tony didn't need rope to haul the boy up into the air. The nanotech simply melded with the supple bands binding the boy and designed like this… It was everything he needed. It attached to a secure ring hanging from the ceiling, slowly shortening in length until Peter hung suspended in the air at just the right height. And because Tony didn't want to break his new omega, he added even more support to lessen the strain on the boy's body, more bands crossing over pale, flushed skin and joining to the ring.

He would need that support for what Tony was planning to do.

"Comfy?" Tony murmured as he petted Peter's hair.

The expression on Peter's face was one of awe and unrestrained eagerness. He knew what was coming.

Slowly but gently, Tony undid the gag and let it fall to the floor with a thunk. Like a good boy, Peter kept his mouth open, his pink little tongue just waiting for Tony's cock. His eyes fluttered closed as he gave himself to his alpha.

A pleased purr rumbled in Tony's chest as he moved closer, angling his aching cockhead to the boy's lips.

"That's it…" Tony hissed as he finally got to press his cock inside a nice warm hole. The thick mushroom shaped tip of his cock was already enough to stuff Peter's mouth full. "That's it, baby… Suck on alpha's cock…"

The boy couldn't help moaning as he tried. His lips stretched over Tony's tip and he sucked, sloppy and unrefined, just desperate to please his alpha. Regardless of technique or finesse, it still felt like heaven to the older man.

Tony's hips stuttered forward, intent on burying his cock down to the root. He wanted every inch in Peter's mouth, wanted the boy to take everything in until that cute little nose of his was buried in the short curls of Tony's groin.

"You can do better, kid…" Tony panted as he curled his fingers into Peter's hair, pulling him closer. "Gotta show me what a good omega you are… Gotta show alpha you can take all of it…"

Peter tried so hard, Tony could see how hard the boy tried. His brows were pinched together in concentration and his tears were gleaming in the corner of his eyes. His tongue writhed beneath the heavy weight of Tony's erection even as his cheeks hollowed in an attempt to suck him in.

He took the steady push of cock as best as he could and Tony did his best not to choke him with it. They'd play with that another time. Slow and steady, Tony fucked the boy's mouth, edging more and more of his length inside that lovely warmth.

With Peter suspended in the air, Tony was able to use it to rock the boy back and forth on his cock. Tony established a rhythm, fucking Peter's mouth and moaning over how fucking good it felt.

"That's it, Pete…" Tony groaned when the omega dutifully swallowed him down. The boy peered at him through his lashes, so beautiful with Tony's cock in his mouth. "So good, baby… Took every inch like a good omega…"

Tony licked his lips and felt that undeniable hunger to do more. To really fuck the boy's mouth.

"Now… Now, alpha's show you the next step…" Tony grunted as he started to really push and pull the boy into his cock. "Alpha's gonna need to fuck this mouth every day. Gotta make sure you can take it whenever I want it. Ugh, that's it, baby… Relax that throat… Let alpha fuck it just like this…"

Peter whimpered around his mouthful. His eyes were squeezed shut as Tony made good use of his mouth. In between the gasps of air and dirty moans, Tony heard that oh so distinctive sound of someone struggling to take it, grunts mixed with soft choking sounds.

The omega looked up at him, cock stupid and still begging for a taste of Tony's cum.

He gave it to him.

The alpha held the boy's face tight as he bottomed out. He grunted, his cock thickening and growing even more, encased as it was in the boy's throat. Peter's lips brushed against the knot and he whined, wanting that, too.

"Good omega…" Tony groaned. Peter didn't struggle, didn't fight against his alpha. He let Tony do whatever he wanted to him and even now, mouth full of cock, he only wanted to please the older man.

With a snarl, Tony pulled out and let loose on the boy's astonished face. Load after load, he spilled all that creamy essence across Peter's face, marking the omega as his.

Peter moaned in rapture, tongue hanging out and spit dripping down his chin and the corner of his lips. He was a mess, a beautiful mess, and Tony only made it worse.

The alpha's cum spilled all over his face. There was a shot of cum across the bridge of his nose. More dripped from his eyebrow and spilled down on his cheek. And of course, there was a good helping in his mouth.

Like a good boy, Peter held his alpha's cum, waiting with a fervent gaze as Tony took in his handwork. His omega was still hard, his cocklet leaking between his legs. Good.

Tony swiped his cum along the boy's mouth with his cum wet tip, adding more glaze to that pretty mouth.

"Lick every drop," Tony said, shivering when the boy's tongue slid out and swiped at the tip with hungry kittenish licks. "Good… Swallow it all down, baby. Get every single drop."

And like a good omega, Peter did. 

[gaitwae]

Mistletoe •||• Loki x Female Reader

Tag List: @winterfrostsarmy @twhiddlestonsstuff @lucywrites02

+-+--

“Y/N, babe?” you hear your boyfriend, Jerry Allen, say. He had a sort of superpower that let him go to other realities. In his original reality, he was the quickest man alive. “Could you help me put up the Christmas lights?”

You smile and nod. “Of course! Just let me finish spiking some eggnog for Thor. Uncle Tony and Aunt Pepper will be here soon . . . I can’t believe all of the Avengers are coming.”

Jerry grins. “Well, the Avengers are practically family. After Tony basically adopted you, they totally count.” He zooms through the living room, putting up the rest of the other decorations.

“Jerry, I was fifteen when I met Tony. That was ten years ago, I don’t think that counts as adoption,” you laugh softly. You helped him string up the Christmas lights, secretly hoping that your favorite uncle’s friend, Thor, would bring someone else to the party. You mean, he was practically your best friend. He had to show up and play just a few holiday pranks.

Your quickster boyfriend shrugs. “Whatever. And, uh, put up some mistletoe. That will be interesting.”

Mistletoe? Pffft, no one was going to fall for that. You sigh, putting it up, anyway. The only person you could think of who was unfortunate enough to even accidentally stand under it would be Bruce. You giggle gently. You would bail him out if that happened.

But what if he came? Oh, goodness. You didn’t think he knew about mistletoe. Would you still kiss him, despite having a boyfriend? Despite your promise never to fulfill your secret desires?

There’s a knock at the door. Jerry speeds to open it as you finish tying up the plant to the ceiling. You hear a voice at the door, and your heart flutters against your will.

“(Y/N),” they sing. You groan, but quickly smile anyway. You loved him, and that was that.

“Tony!” you laugh, running into his arms and helping him with presents. You move to hug Pepper. She hugs back. You hug Nat and Steve and Bruce, even seeing that Clint and Bucky showed up. They did with simple handshakes — they never were ones for major affection.

When you let go, huge arms pull you into a hug. How could you have missed him? You smile widely. Thor.

“Sister Y/N! Thank you for inviting us!” Thor’s voice booms. You return the embrace, though you’re finding it hard to breath. Sister? Usually he called you ‘Lady’ or just Small One. Never ‘Sister.’ What was going on?

It seemed like Tony and Steve and Pepper noticed it, too. “Why the sudden name change?”

Thor was about to say something, but quickly shook his head. “Nothing,” he says, like you all couldn’t already tell it was a lie. The four of you glare. “I’m under oath,” he tells you, walking away into the living room.

You roll your eyes. You were seriously starting to wish Loki were here. You blush as some simple fantasies flew into your head at the mere mention of the God of Lies. Such things you’d never let Jerry find out about, much less experience with him. Things that made you melt like butter on a thousand degree knife.

You sat down, a light haze making your head spin and cracking a smile on your face. Man. When you described the trickster as a god, there really wasn’t much exaggeration. His long black hair and his bright green-blue eyes made him look so regal. His smile was dazzling. You completely agreed with his sense of humor. You rested your head on your fist.

His lips looked so soft. You almost wanted to taste them. His hair was begging to be braided. And, norns forbid, those arms of his would cuddle amazingly. You were practically dying to find out. You hummed softly and let out a lovesick sigh. I wish you were coming.

“Y/N. You okay? You’re zoning out, kiddo,” Tony chuckled. Your heart skipped and sat up, heart pounding in your chest. What if Tony found out about your more-than-a-crush crush on Loki?

“Yeah! Yeah, I’m fine.” You cleared your throat. As smart as your “uncle” was, he would probably figure out soon. You didn’t think that would really end well. He arched an eyebrow at your statement, but didn’t press much about it. “You need something?”

“Thor spilled the beans — if you wanna hear it.” He smirks and rests his hand on his knee, getting ready to stand up. “But apparently he can’t say all of it without you.”

“Tony?”

“Yeah?”

“He didn’t say anything. You just wanted to find out what I was thinking about. Didn’t you?” Tony looked somewhat shocked, to say the least. You give him an exasperated glare. He smiled and shrugged.

“Caught me, kiddo. Is Pete coming?” He looked around. You could tell he was worried. You pointed to the door, which burst open with a Spider-Man in a Christmas hat.

“MERRY CHRISTMAS, AND HAVE A WEBBY NEW YEAR!” He set his hands at his hips and dropped the bag of presents he had. You laugh and run to hug your younger friend.

“Peter! You made it,” you smile. He takes off the mask, grinning. His eyes sparkle with his eagerness and excitement.

“Of course, I did. Had to do some last minute shopping for Mr. Stark, but all’s good.” He chuckled and rubbed his hands together. “This Christmas is gonna be so sweet!”

You roll your eyes. “Go sit down,” you laugh. You look out the door and see snow gently falling, but no Loki. You didn’t know how much you really wished he would be here until you figured he wasn’t coming. I miss you.

You looked toward where Jerry was. Thor and Tony glared at him. Nat was giving her fake smile. Bruce was fiddling with something in his hands. You felt bad for Jerry. You knew that you were a distraction from his real love, Tulip, but she was dating one of his co-workers.

“Darling, why stay with that quickster? I know who you really want, and it isn’t him. It never was.” You knew that voice. Oh no. Within a fifty mile radius, you could hear people’s thoughts without physical contact, as long as they were directed toward you. You gulped as his thoughts and mind reading powers mixed with yours.

You weren’t invited, Loki, you think back. You could tell he was amused by that statement. He knew the truth. He was in his mind, just as you were now in his. You wanted him to come, and he knew it.

“Based off of your current train of thought, love, I would say I was. Tell me that book you wanted, again?” You light up immediately.

You can’t be serious! Really? You’re coming?

“Of course I am. Are you going to tell me the title or not?” You quickly tell him the correct name of the book, getting giddy just thinking about seeing him. Your face is hot and your hands are shaking. You can almost hear his snickering and your smile falters some. There was a knock on the window.  You look. “Oh, good. Now. Open the door?” he calls, his voice muffled by the glass.

You were sure that you died. He played you. He waved through the window, and here you were, thinking that he was just on his way. You growl at him and stomp out to the door and open it. The air is cold and crisp and bites at your ears and makes your skin erupt with goosebumps. “Loki!” You shout so loud that he winces. So much for godly ears.

He turns around and grins at you. He opens his arms out for a hug, and to also take credit for such a cruel prank. You roll your eyes, punching his stomach lightly. He makes a face, but before he can truly say anything, you hug him tightly. “You’re so mean,” you whine into his shoulder, feeling him hug you back with just as much force.

He chuckled and sighs. “Am I?” he playfully mocks back. You groan, shutting your eyes. You breathe in his sweet scent. What was it? Peppermint? Ice? You didn’t care. It was Loki. “I knew you would start wondering where I was.” You play with the soft, silly strands of his raven hair. You longed to tangle your fingers in the locks.

He pulls back some. “Shall we go in? I assume you don’t quite like the cold.”

“Of course, you big silly!” You sigh and hop away. “Let’s go!” You gently take his hand and pull him. Then you stop and think: What if I get caught?

He interlaced your fingers. “Darling, I can tell you that only two people in that house know what’s really going on, and that’s Thor and Tony Stark.” He smiled. “Please. You know me better than anyone. Everybody will just think I’m playing another prank.”

You gulp and nod. Sure. Why not? You smile and gesture for him to take the lead. He starts running, not even giving you time to find footing. Before you know it, you’re sliding through the door, laughing and trying to get your hand back. “Loki! Oh, norns! Stop!” you scream with joy.

“What’s the magic word?” he dares, now picking you up. You let out a shout. He holds you like a knight would a princess, but you hope that the cold air from outside was enough of an excuse for your blush.

“Please?” That was your guess, but knowing him, it wasn’t it. He shakes his head. He thinks a sentence to you: In the end you’ll always . . . what?  “Just let me go!” you beg, kicking your legs some. You’re holding on for dear life because oh my goodness he was tall!

“If you want me to just drop you—” he tries, loosening his grip as he says it. You yelp.

“Kneel! I’ll kneel!” you say, finally giving in. He gently sets you down. You try to punch his shoulder but he catches your fist. He smirks. You roll your eyes and get on your knees. He shakes his head and makes a dramatic sigh.

“Dearest brother, has our friend Jerry Allen been informed about, ah, the current situation?” He looks over to Thor, who’s smirking. You were so confused. You gulp.

“Shall I inform our most loveliest of hosts that she’s under mistle-tong?” You blush insanely. Loki . . . ! The dumb trickster! He takes your hands and swooshed you into his arms, moving under the mistletoe, too. He’s cupping your face and bringing you closer and closer to his. You’re resisting the urge to melt, and he hasn’t even kissed you, yet.

He looks lovingly at you. For a moment, you wonder if it’s really just a dream. “Admit that you love me,” he whispers, almost begging you to confirm this.

You pull back and rest your hands on his shoulders. His other hand is on your hip. “What am I supposed to say? I wanted everyone I love here with me tonight, if possible.”

“So you are in love with me?” He smirked widely and you leant in more than you meant to. He grins. “Finally.” You blush and try to push him away some. He looked almost overjoyed. He was right: You were in love with him. Deeply. But there were so many people you didn’t want to hurt.

“I-I don’t know what you mean!” you sputter, but your arms snake around his neck. “I love Jerry.” Dumb excuse, yes, but you were trapped. Loki had caught you, quite literally. Not to mention he was digging around in your mind.

“About as much as you love my brother. Could we stop this ridiculous cat and mouse?” Loki asked. You sigh.

“Jerry knows, right?” You bite your lip, feeling Loki hold you even closer. Your noses touched. He smirks, and you resist the urge to look behind you when you hear Jerry’s soft laugh.

“Well, if he didn’t, he does now. And he seems fine with it.” You sigh. You look up at Loki, cupping his face toward yours.

“Good. Now kiss me, before I go nuts.” He happily pressed his lips to yours, holding you close. You kissed back with relief and excitement and as much love as you knew how to.

[starring-movies]

The Haunting of Bly Manor: Episode Analysis

*SPOILERS*

Episode 4 - The Way It Came

Episode 4 of The Haunting of Bly Manor has two timelines, like the majority of the prior episodes, with the present one continuing the current story and the past one focusing around Dani’s backstory and mainly how she ended up working at the manor.

We immediately find out, at Dani and Eddie’s engagement party, that they have gone “from childhood sweethearts to happily ever after”. From this it’s made clear that Dani has known Eddie from childhood, and has most likely been in a romantic relationship with him for a very long time. As a result of this, we can see how she got swept up with what everyone else wanted for her life and how it became “just what we [Eddie and Dani] were doing”, as she “didn’t want to hurt you [Eddie], or your mom, or your family”.

It’s also notable that Eddie, Eddie’s mother and Dani’s mother all call Dani, “Danielle”, rather than Dani. Knowing that these people in Dani’s past all used to call her Danielle, shows us another way in which Dani was trying separate herself from her past and escape what happened, by choosing herself to go by the name Dani rather than the name that she was called throughout her childhood.

Between Dani and Danielle, Danielle is also the more feminine version of the name. It’s apparent from all the flashback scenes of Dani, that she also used to dress much more femininely when she was with Eddie - in lots of dresses and feminine colours. Whereas in the present, she dresses mostly in jeans and t-shirts, and in more darker colours. Although she still dresses quite femininely, she doesn’t dress in nearly as much of a stereotypically ‘girly’ way as she used to. And so in a similar vein, it makes sense that she would choose to be known by the less feminine version of her name, as she becomes more of the person that she wants to be and caring less of how she thinks that she ought to appear.

During the dancing at the engagement party, ‘Higher Love’ by Steve Winwood is playing, and we hear the lyrics “bring me a higher love” repeated. Through the song lyrics we can see Dani’s own internal thoughts and wishes reflected. She does love Eddie, as she tells him later on in the episode that “I love you, so much, even still”. In spite of this, we can see from her expression throughout the party that she still feels like there is something missing between them, which is stopping her from feeling a “higher love” and is something that she wants to have.

We also get a very subtle hint that there was more than likely some homophobia amongst those that Dani knew in her adolescence. At the party Eddie’s mother brings out an old dress of hers to give to Dani and tells her that she doesn’t “think this would suit any of them. Well, maybe Carson”. Although this comment isn’t necessarily directly malicious, there is still the underlying tone that Eddie’s mother has the opinion that her son Carson would be the only one to suit her dress because he is a bit effeminate - despite it being a passing comment of Eddie’s mother’s, there is still a negative and unaccepting air to what she says. In some ways, these sorts of little comments would have been even more impactful towards Dani feeding her desire to repress herself, as although it isn’t being said aggressively, there is still a constant disapproval below the surface.

Back in the present, Jamie returns from Owen’s mother’s funeral. Dani catches herself staring at Jamie as she is taking off her earrings, and so she quickly looks down and turns away to the kitchen sink. Here we see Eddie’s spectre actually make physical contact with Dani as his hand touches her waist. Just as in Episode 3, the increasingly frightening and aggressive visions of Eddie’s spectre shows us that Dani’s feelings for Jamie are becoming much stronger.

After Owen returns from the funeral himself, they all have dinner and Flora says to him that when her parents died “I thought I was going to die too. I was sure of it, but then I thought what if I was already dead but nobody else knew, and I was walking around dead. But everybody could see and hear me, that was dreadful”. Just as Flora starts to say this, we get a shot of Hannah as she listens. This is another detail that is easily missed on a first viewing but was actually another clue that Hannah is dead, as Flora being concerned that she “was already dead but nobody else knew” is what is currently happening to Hannah.

After Miles causes a scene at dinner by asking for some wine, Dani sends the children up to bed. Dani looks into Flora’s dollhouse and we can see that Rebecca is in the room with her and Flora, as Rebecca’s doll is in the equivalent spot in the dollhouse. But we can also see that Peter’s doll is right next to Miles’ in the dollhouse, which is another clue that Peter had just been in possession of Miles’ body and so this is why he acted up at dinner.

Back in the past we see the evening that Dani broke off her engagement to Eddie. They’re having a meal at a restaurant, to separate themselves from the stress of wedding planning, and Eddie tells Dani to stop biting her fingernails because he says “you’re gonna hurt yourself”. Similarly, earlier in the episode, Eddie’s mother tells Dani “you always spot the kids that need you the most. You’d better take care of yourself as well, you know. Save them all if you can, but put your own oxygen mask on first”, and Dani tells her that “Edmund says the same thing, all the time”.

Although Eddie is trying to be caring towards Dani, by telling her to stop biting her nails and to look after herself before her students, he’s not really taking into consideration what Dani wants to do, and in a way he’s smothering her instead. Dani told Henry in Episode 1 that she wants to try to “make real difference” by helping her students, and so we know that her job is very fulfilling for her. However, Eddie trying to protect Dani by telling her to concentrate more on herself before the children, which tells us that although he might have good intentions, he isn’t really understanding or considerate of the importance that she believes that her work does for others.

In the present, while Jamie, Dani, Hannah and Owen are all sitting by the fire, Jamie says that in the “really old days” people used to use bonfires to “toss in offerings to drive away evil spirits, old bones mostly”. Jamie continues to say that you have to “build a pile of old bones and burn away the shadows. Because from here on in, the shadows get deeper, the nights get longer. We’re heading into the dark and we have to hang onto each other, so we can only carry so much”.

Jamie saying this, is where Dani gets the idea to burn Eddie’s glasses at the end of the episode. Dani has been keeping Eddie’s old glasses, which are like his “old bones”; but after hearing Jamie say this, she knows that she has to rid herself of the guilt because she can’t keep “heading into the dark”. So when Dani’s finally had enough of his spectre preventing her from advancing her relationship with Jamie, she decides to burn the glasses to “drive away [his] evil spirits”.

It’s also noticeable that Jamie says you have to burn the “old bones” to “burn away the shadows”, as most of the times when Eddie’s spectre appears to Dani, he looks like her shadow. Except for the end of Episode 3 and the end of this episode, Eddie’s spectre always appears to Dani shrouded in darkness and looming behind her, just like an inescapable shadow.

Another significant thing is Dani’s covering of the mirrors to stop herself from seeing Eddie. Eddie’s spectre appearing in the mirror is not just showing us a reflection of Dani’s own guilt, as when she looks at her reflection she doesn’t just see herself but she also sees the guilt of what she’s done as well. The connection between mirrors and death actually dates at least as far back as ancient Roman and Greek times. It’s believed in many cultures that souls of the dead can linger in mirrors, that the dead can harm the living through mirrors and just general ideas that mirrors or reflective surfaces were sorts of portals between the realms of the living and the dead.

Some old Irish beliefs even say that if you look in a mirror for long enough, you will see the devil behind your shoulder - which is exactly the type of thing that is happening to Dani, when she looks in a mirror she sees Eddie behind her shoulder. This link between mirrors and the dead means that it’s traditionally customary that mirrors are covered after a death, to prevent any souls entering or other bad things relate to death occurring. So Dani covering the mirror, either when Eddie appears or as a preventative measure, doesn’t just stop her from seeing him but it might also be a way of her trying to stop him crossing over or getting closer to her (which he does start to do when he stands in front of her in Episode 3).

During the bonfire, Dani and Jamie separate themselves from Hannah and Owen, and they go to sit in the greenhouse. Dani tells Jamie about seeing Eddie’s spectre and afterwards she says that “I’ve never told anybody that”. Dani choosing to confide in Jamie like this shows us how much she trusts Jamie, to make herself vulnerable and tell her something so deeply personal that she’s “never told anybody”.

However, more importantly, we see how Jamie has earnt and is deserving of the trust that Dani puts in her. Dani asks Jamie, “think I’m crazy?” - something that she might think she is herself sometimes - and through this question she gives Jamie the perfect opportunity to judge her, and make her feel ashamed or embarrassed for what she’s just said. But just like the way in which Jamie dealt with Dani’s panic attack in Episode 2, she doesn’t pass any judgment at all and instead even downplays what Dani says by telling her “I think you’re surprisingly sane, considering”.

It’s this complete acceptance that Dani gets from Jamie, after Dani reveals her one vulnerability that she thinks would make Jamie think she’s crazy and push her away, which prompts Dani to finally act on her feelings and kiss her - Dani has finally found someone, probably the first person ever, who knows her completely (both the good and the bad) but still accepts her and cares for her for who she is.

Finally at the end of the episode, Dani takes Eddie’s glasses out to the bonfire and burns them. Eddie’s spectre appears before her, just like at the end of Episode 3 and she screamed in terror at seeing him. However, unlike in the last episode, this time Dani isn’t afraid, but instead she stares at Eddie face to face as she confronts him. Rather than being constantly pursued the guilt, and the spectre that follows along with that guilt, she stops running and instead comes to a sort of acceptance of what happened to Eddie. Since she is ready to let go, accept what happened in her past, and move on, Dani is never haunted by Eddie’s spectre after this night.

You can read my previous The Haunting of Bly Manor posts here:-

Episode 1 - The Great Good Place

Episode 2 - The Pupil

Episode 3 - The Two Faces, Part One

Episode 5 - The Altar of the Dead

Episode 6 - The Jolly Corner

——————————————————————————

[ohwereusingourmadeupnames]

Rubber Ducky

Pairing: Peter Parker/Tony Stark Rating: Explicit (E) Word Count: ~6.3k Notes: I was totally inspired by RDJ’s latest insta post! Between the motorcycle, gray hair, big ole’ combat boots, and the rubber ducky - it was hard not to write about it. Add on S’s insatiable need for that silver fox goodness and here we are! Warnings: There’s some smut in here, but that’s about it. Summary:

Born to old money, Tony is in the limelight simply because he exists. After a misunderstanding caught on video, he's personified as a spoil socialite & no matter what he does, he can't escape the title. Instead of letting it get him down, Tony uses it to his advantage - if anyone were to find out what he really did with his life, his reputation would be ruined. No one needed to know that he threw clay for a living or that one of the most successful ceramic business belongs to him.

When things become to much to handle on his own, Tony reluctantly takes on a personal assistant by the name of Peter Parker.

Preconceptions are a funny thing - Peter finds out just how nefarious they can be when he gets to see the real person behind the Tony Stark public persona.

Or: the one where RDJ and a rubber ducky serve as the best muse.

Read it on AO3 here.

In hindsight, Tony should’ve known his reputation would come from a spectacular misunderstanding.

In the early years, Tony was not nearly as schooled in maintaining his composure – especially when he deemed himself correct. One misunderstanding caught on camera later and he was officially known as “Manhattan’s Spoiled Brat” to every major gossip rag and tabloid that could get their hands on information to print about him; true or otherwise.

From that point on, no matter what he actually did, Tony’s movements in the media were always framed with the perception of spoiled, outlandish, and in some circles, downright rude. It didn’t matter that before the paparazzi ambushed him outside of his apartment, he spent the morning setting up some private dog walking for the local shelter dogs. He couldn’t ever pull the trigger on actually adopting one – but he digressed. Those out for a story and a story only took their photos, heckled him, and reported half-truths and words taken out of context.

Despite the initial turmoil over it, Tony found himself with a lot more free time in the sanctity of the space he called his own. Other socialites didn’t want anything to do with him – the mere thought of being out papped drove them all mad. To avoid too much attention, Tony took his peer[s dismissal and ran with it – if a bad reputation got him the privacy that he sought, why wouldn’t he take advantage of it.

It all seemed to work out in his favor, because if his fellow socialite peers ever found themselves privy to his actual occupation, Tony knew he could count himself on the list of social outcasts that no one talked about – in fact, the few people he knew like that weren’t even spoken about in the circles he was forced to affiliate himself with. Being old money had so many advantages, but in the long term, Tony could have easily done without it.

Never one to care about the money, unless it was supposed to be caught on camera in some way shape or form, Tony enjoyed his solitude and the time he had to chase after his one true passion – pottery.

The addiction started halfway through his time at MIT. Desperate to escape the confines of his dorm and the information that didn’t interest him in the least, Tony found himself wandering the streets of Cambridge, his eyes wide and peeled for the bright shine of cameras being clicked. In his slow meanderings, Tony caught the sight of an interesting looking woman, the dreads in her hair and the big pot in her hands dragging him in. And when she felt his presence, instead of getting upset, she shot him a smile and slowed her step – the woman obviously not afraid of Tony’s attention.

He ended up walking half a mile a couple of steps behind the unnamed woman, the pot in her hands becoming more and more interesting the longer he got to look at it. The workmanship of it was obvious, the lines were neat and the dip of the pot perfectly symmetrical around the rim. Not for the first time, Tony marveled at the intense beauty of handmade work – he longed to work with his hands in the creation process. His father wanted him to put that energy into machines and technology that would further their wealth. Tony, on the other hand, he just wanted to create – no pressure, no expectation… just creation.

The building they stopped in front was all open space with big windows. Locking eyes with the woman, Tony rushed ahead of her and opened the door, holding it and his breath as she walked through the door. Upon entering, Tony noticed the multiple rows of what he knew to be pottery wheels, each one of them gleaming in the wash of sunlight that flowed in from the streets. Sucking in a breath, Tony had to stop himself from gravitating towards one.

A soft voice turned him around, his heart beating wildly – in the moments since walking in, Tony completely forgot the woman was there. “The dedication you showed in following me here is more than enough for me. Do you want to learn?” the still unnamed woman asked, her cheeks crinkling in the corner as a smile overtook his face.

It didn’t take but an extra second for the excited ‘yes’ to slip out of his mouth. He understood an opportunity when it was presented to him and didn’t want to squander it.

Without saying anything else, the woman walked by him, sat down at one of the wheels and looked expectantly at the one next to her.

From there, Tony found in himself natural talent and a burning desire to learn all he could about the craft. Despite having the means to buy his own wheel and supplies, Tony returned to Nona’s, the old woman insisting he call her nothing but. Over the course of the last two years of his undergraduate degree, Tony split his time between uninteresting studies and the maddening obsession of wet clay and the never-ending possibilities the potters wheel could bring.

The art brought him joy and when he graduated and Nona gifted him his very own wheel and her blessing of finally being ready, Tony took to it with a passion he never experienced before. No one in his circle would understand the desire to get his hands dirty or create something that could easily be bought at some auction, or fancy gallery opening. So, he kept it a secret – the thing he treasured most in the world was his and his alone.

That trend continued for many years after that. In order to keep up his expected persona, Tony put himself in the public’s eye a few times a year to cause a ruckus, whether it was with scandalous photos he manipulated himself, or a random appearance in a place he was supposedly blacklisted from. And between those times, Tony threw clay and created a whole line of masterpieces that culminated into a pretty popular business.

As his talent and the demand for his work grew, Tony let the smallest bit of pride settle deep within him. Despite not being satisfied with the way the world saw him, his most favorite piece of himself was flourishing – and on his own merit, nonetheless. Making something out of himself away from his father’s money meant so much and each step he took towards that brought him a peace he wasn’t sure would ever exist for him.

After almost 10 years of being in business, Dirty’s Pottery was finally unmanageable by himself – especially if Tony wanted to keep the anonymity of the business. No matter how much he didn’t want to bring in another person into the folds of his life, Tony knew he needed the help.

Which is why, when Peter Parker walked into his life, Tony was thrown so off guard. For most of the morning leading up to the interview, he felt a sliver of dread start to worm its way into the confines of his chest. Just seeing someone for a position like this took an amount of trust that Tony had not ever given to anyone – ever – in his entire life. The need for it was the only reason he forced himself to get his shit together and actually give the guy a chance at actually getting the job.

His entire attitude changed when he caught the glance of milk chocolate eyes that shone, well-kept facial hair, and a smile that so obviously hid a beautiful personality behind the lengths of it. In that moment, Tony wondered about so many things – where did this guy come from, how did he walk around in those pants without getting hit on with every step, and his favorite – what could he do to get this person to stick around. All of that without a single word being exchanged between them.

When Peter finally did start to speak, Tony couldn’t help but get lost in the interesting human sitting in the chair next to him. Instead of making it a formal affair, Tony poured them coffee and nestled into the remaining chair in the small office Tony kept slightly clear in his workshop. He went so far as to start the conversation with a question totally off the wall, which Peter answered with ease and kickstarted what turned out to be a couple hours’ worth of back and forth between the two of them.

It was obvious, in the way it took Peter a little while to open up to him, that his reputation proceeded him. Before Peter even walked in the door, he was looking at him a certain way – and Tony couldn’t wait to do everything in his power to prove that perception wrong. In true Tony Stark nature, Tony started by finishing their conversation out in the main room of the studio, his hands covered in red clay, the length of his hair pushed back with a bandana he’d taken to wearing over the last few months. The interested eyes that watched his hands with fascination brought a smile to his face and the job offer to the tip of his tongue.

“The job – it’s yours if you want. You’re smart, capable – the experience you came in with is amazing. I’d be pretty stupid to not snatch you up while I have the chance. But hear this now,” Tony said, his voice dipping. “If you fuck with me, I’ll ruin you. Understood?”

An awkward chuckle was his answer, Peter’s eyes flashing with some sort of feeling as he nodded his head. “Understood, Mr. Stark. This is a big opportunity for me – I wouldn’t screw that up for 5 minutes of media attention.”

And just like that, Tony was sold. He extended a clay covered hand out, a challenging quirk to his brow as he looked up, his own cognac colored eyes meeting Peter’s after a moment. “Cut the Mr. Stark shit, it’s just Tony.”

Grinning, Peter returned the handshake, his soft hand wrapping around Tony’s like it fit there, like if he let himself think about it, Tony could’ve sworn it’d been there his whole life. The contrast of wet clay and pale skin did something to him – something that, after 45 years of life, Tony couldn’t remember experiencing ever before.

----

It took a while, coaxing Peter from whatever picture he painted in his head about Tony and what he knew about him. The first few months together were tense – when they attempted their first staged photo for the public eye, Peter looked at him skeptically, as if the entire situation was crazy. Then, Tony stepped in front of the camera and pulled his mask on, his expression and demeanor changing to suit the air and attitude needed to portray the spoiled persona he’d been keeping up for years now.

The click of the camera was rapid, like the change in Tony was just as eerie for Peter as it was for the man himself. He turned and smiled and smoldered enough to make sure he had a few pictures to play with over the next few weeks, then dropped the whole act the second he could – Tony more than glad to be done with this part of his act until the next need for it came to be. Shrugging his shoulders and letting the conceded air rush from him, Tony shot Peter a smile – his assistant’s facial expression telling him much more than he needed to know.

“It is just an act, isn’t it? I’ve never seen someone put on another skin like that before,” Peter mumbled, his ears a little red from the blush that slowly spread down his cheeks with every word. His long fingers fiddled with the dial of the camera, brown eyes down casted in what Tony could only assume was apprehension or embarrassment.

“Everyone does it, Pete. Sometimes, it’s just more necessary than others. I had one little mishap and all of the sudden, I was painted as something that I’m not – something that I never will be. No matter what I did after that, things didn’t change. So, I use it to my advantage. Put a little chum in the water for the sharks every now and again and live my life the way I want it in between.” Tony shrugged then, his hands already working to take off the stupid jacket that pinched between his shoulders.

Peter was quiet for a few minutes, the two of them moving around each other in the slightly uncomfortable silence. “I’m just a kid from Queens. I couldn’t even imagine what that’s like. I probably would’ve taken the opportunity you did, too. It sucks you have to be someone different, but I get it.” A soft smile could be seen on his face, the look one of Peter’s that Tony quickly became enamored with – the shine of it hitting him in the gut, supplying him with his next bit of energy from all the goodness hidden within it.

Though it wasn’t monumental, things between them changed. While Peter used to come and go without much fanfare, Tony was surprised when he started to stick around a little longer after their work was done for today. Where the conversation could easily be described as stilted before, words started to flow between them easily – now that the damn was broken, it was like there was no stopping the conversations that could so easily exist.

And they did, flow easily. Peter graduated from Columbia with an Economics degree – a career field he quickly understood was not for him after two years in a job that he absolutely hated. The shared hatred for what they studied in college opened up the door for actual passions, ones in which Tony quickly came to find that Peter had many of. Including pottery, though he never did anything aside from buying it until coming to work for Tony.

“Your coffee cups are actually why I wanted this job,” Peter admitted out of the blue, the two of them settled on the soft couch in Tony’s living room after a long day of boxing and shipping orders. “When I first started college, I was dirt pour – living the dream, you know. I got the short end of the stick in housing and ended up having to find my own apartment. It was a shit hole, but I had a Dirty coffee mug to drink out of every day – so things couldn’t have been as glum as they really were. For some reason, I thought of that when I saw the ad – felt compelled to apply.”

Shifting a little, Tony let their shoulders brush – the physical contact between them also flourishing now that Peter didn’t think he was such a piece of shit. He leaned in, applying the slightest bit of pressure to the firm deltoid he felt through Peter’s shirt. “And now you get to drink out of them whenever you want,” Tony remarked, the joking tone of his voice pulling a smile from them both. “Never thought you’d run into me when you signed up for this gig, did you?”

“I didn’t. Honestly, when I saw it was you, I almost turned around and walked right out the door. If it wasn’t for the way you look sitting behind the potters wheel, I might’ve done exactly that.”

A chuckle fell from Tony’s lips, the tightness in his chest that’d been building up from that first day finally loosening, whatever happened in the minutes between stepping in front of the camera and that moment obviously winning him a bit of favor.

“I do look good behind the wheel, don’t I?” Tony answered, a shit eating grin on his face.

Peter reached over, swatting his thigh in joking exasperation. “Shut up.”

That exchange stayed with him after that, a subtle reminder of the distance between them narrowing. Tony didn’t even know if Peter liked anything about him other than the way he looked, or the way his mugs held coffee – but a small bit of hope sat in his chest, regardless. Things were so different now, all smiles and laughing, inside jokes between the two of them that didn’t cease to be funny, no matter how many times they stopped dead in their tracks to deal with the chuckling fits that spontaneously occurred at the thought of any of them. It had to mean something, even if it wasn’t the sort of intensity that Tony wanted.

Like most things in his life, Tony got his answer in the form of a shout, or at least, the closest a kiss could come to the form. About a year and a half into their working relationship, Peter was finally comfortable, so comfortable in fact, he allowed himself to fall asleep in the many different spaces he’d been invited into in Tony’s home and workshop. That particular day, Tony walked into his office to find Peter passed the fuck out, a cute string of drool lulling from the side of his mouth. His eyes were moving behind his eyelids, hands clenching by his sides.

For a second, Tony thought to wake him up, what he thought was distress making him want to take care of Peter in the only way he knew how. Resisting, Tony walked around his office quietly, grabbing his smock and the most recent designs before trying his best to sneak past Peter without waking the sleeping beauty up. He was about to step away from the edge of the couch when a hand shot out, grabbing his wrist.

“Pete, what – “ Tony started to exclaim, his body falling towards Peter stopping the rest of the words from coming out of his mouth. Without being able to suck in another pull of breath, Tony’s lips were covered, all of Peter pressing fully against him, lips and obviously interested cock, included. Waiting for the other shoe to drop, Tony kept himself still, the need to flatten Peter out and press into the contact so close to winning out, despite knowing it probably wasn’t his best course of action.

A gasp of breath against his lips alerted Tony to Peter’s conscious state, the man pulling back from him in the next second.

“Tony?” Peter gasped; the words still tinged with sleep. “Is this real? I was just dreaming – “ He stopped then, realization of what he just said grinding everything else to a halt. “Oh god.”

Putting a finger across Peter’s lips to stop any other words from spilling out, Tony leaned back into his space, their faces mere inches away from each other. “I dream about it, too.” Tony mumbled as he closed the distance and pressed their lips together – this kiss one they were both conscious and aware of.

The fingers slipping into his hair were the only sign that he needed. In a desperate attempt to get more skin right in that very moment, Tony climbed onto the couch, his knees pressing into the cushions bracketing Peter’s hips. His own hands moved to grasp whatever skin he could reach, Peter’s nap on the couch affording him stomach and back from a ridden-up shirt.

Plush lips were such a distraction, the thickness of Peter’s bottom lip ridding him of any thought other than right that second and skin and more kisses that felt like straight heat touching him. Peter’s fingers dug into his scalp, blunt nails cutting into the skin in the most tantalizing way possible.

An annoying need for oxygen pulled them apart, Tony panting into the skin of Peter’s neck as he continued to explore the long planes of skin there. If this dream haze was the only way he got what he’d been wanting since he first laid eyes on Peter, Tony would take it – simply because he never let himself and he really, really, really wanted this; wanted Peter.

Hands on the side of his face stopped his assault, Tony pulling  away with so much reluctance – his entire being shouting against the disparity of the action. Peter brushed their noses together, his fingers caressing Tony’s face, cupping behind his ears – each digit moving restlessly.

“I want you,” Peter said plainly, the seconds of silent stares and heavily panted breaths already forgotten – the words already enough to change the way the world tipped on its axis. “I want you. Have wanted you for so long. Please, Tony – “

Whatever was going to come next, Tony cut him off – their lips sealing back together now that they were both on the same page, both ready for the next step – both wanting each other.

Not in any frame of mind to do anything other than kiss, be kissed, and pull at clothes in hopes that they came off, Tony did just that – his fingers slipped under the soft t-shirt covering Peter’s chest, the pads of them tracing the smooth skin of rippling abs, and the slightest bit of chest hair just starting to coat over trim pecs. He pushed the shirt up until it rested under Peter’s arms, his brain unwilling to allow him to pull away from their kiss to actually take it off.

Peter, like he did so well over the past few months, took the matter into his own hands. He pulled away from Tony to yank his shirt up and over his head, eager fingers doing the same to Tony’s once he got the memo and shifted so Peter was able. Soft hands found the thick patch of hair covering his upper chest and the straight path down his abdominals that trailed down into the confines of his now too-tight boxer briefs. The touch was like electricity, each inch of perusal like a shock rolling across the surface of his skin.

Moaning, Tony let his hips drop, the bulge in his pants pressingly deliciously against Peter’s erection, the slide of his jeans against his passion both tantalizing and harsh – the perfect combination. In an attempt to gain more friction and a better position, Tony climbed off of Peter’s thighs, slotting himself between muscled legs, instead. Instantly, Peter wrapped his thighs around Tony’s hips, using his strength and leverage to pull him close, closer than either ever thought they would ever get.

The next few minutes were a flurry of kisses against bare skin and hands wandering all the inches they could – Tony focusing on the softest little swell of Peter’s stomach, the roundness of it only enhancing the strength the rest of him portrayed. They fumbled and thrust, erections grinding through several layers of jean and fine clothed underwear. It was glorious and not enough all in one breath. Tony forced himself to create space between them in hopes of furthering things along, his shaky hands making quick work of Peter’s pants and then his own.

Completely naked in front of him, Tony was surprised to not feel a single shred of self-consciousness. In all of his imaginings, he thought he might curl in on himself – there weren’t many people that knew the real him; baring himself this way to Peter, Tony no longer had the pleasure of anonymity, the barrier of protective shell he tried to keep with him at all times. A grinning Peter brought him away from those thoughts, his own lips turning up in a smoldering smirk.

“Reach behind you – I think there’s something in the side table we can use for lube.”

The words came out panted, like Tony needed every shred of oxygen in his body to deliver them, yet, he couldn’t bring himself to be embarrassed – Peter fumbled over himself to get to the drawer, his upper body twisting to reach, despite Tony pinning his legs down into the cushions of the couch below them. A sound of triumph left them both when Peter righted himself, a small bottle of lube in his grasp.

“Any reason why you have lube in your workshop office?” Peter asked through a chuckle, his hands already moving to grip Tony’s bare skin, the lube sitting on his stomach in offering.

Ignoring the question for the moment, Tony reached up to grab the bottle, his lips busy tracing the lines of Peter’s abs until he found himself face to face with a delectable erection, the tip of it glistening with the tangible exertions of their efforts. He brought his eyes up to glance at Peter, the usual honey-hazel completely overtaken by black pupil and want – so much want.

His tongue peaked out to sop up the leaky moisture, Tony letting a moan slip from his lips before redoubling his efforts, his lips wrapping around Peter tightly. It was erotic, bobbing up and down on the most beautiful erection while maintaining such intense eye contact. The state of Peter’s eyes matched his own, the glassy nature of them making his own cock throb – the smear of precum he felt himself thrusting into a tell-tale sign of what this did to him; what Peter could so easily drag from him.

“Jerking off, of course,” Tony finally answered, his lips pulling away from Peter’s cock with a loud pop that echoed around the small office. “I practically lived here before you came to my rescue. I’m not a saint.”

To emphasize the point, Tony snapped open the cap of the lube, his eyes flashing as that sound too seemed to bounce off the walls. A weak moan left his lips when he turned the tube over to dump a good amount of lube over his fingers, the implication of what came next and the frigid cold of the lube doing something to him. Peter grinned up at him, his hips rolling up in the most obvious form of permission.

Taking Peter’s cock back into his mouth, Tony let two of his fingers slip between the crease of firm butt cheeks, the tip of one tracing a tight rim. With the thought of distraction, Tony sucked hard and pressed his finger in, breaching the muscle with a kind of ease that had him moaning around the thick cock in his mouth. The boil of heat and arousal felt like it was consuming him – he’d feel lucky if he actually got to the point of slipping inside Peter without completely embarrassing himself.

Long fingers dug into thick, salt and pepper locks, Peter’s grip tight and flexing rhythmically with the bob and pull of his mouth around the most luscious erection. Slowly, Tony opened Peter up, his fingers working in tandem with his cleverly talented mouth. Little by little, he felt the muscle around his fingers relax, Peter easily able to take three fingers after his careful ministrations.

The grip in his hair tightened, forcing Tony to look up to gauge the situation. The sight he was met with caused his cock to throb again, the tip now completely covered with pre-cum and weepy, each second passing filling out the appendage more and more, Tony feeling so fucking close to burning already.

Peter’s pupils were completely blown, the glassy nature of them from before overtaken by a sort of heat that Tony didn’t know existed. His hair was in disarray, the obvious toss of it back and forth showing in the tangled strands. Sweat covered him, the tiny drops on Peter’s forehead the only indication that he too was physically straining himself, desperately trying to hold himself off.

“Fuck me, Tony. I need it – need you,” Peter gasped out, his fingers tightening in Tony’s hair even more. “Please.”

Not one to deny himself or those he cared about, Tony pulled himself up and away, Peter’s pulsing erection slapping against his chin for the effort.  A laugh left his lips as he sat up completely, nervous hands moving to grab the lube. The snick of the cap opening made them both jump, each man completely wound up and ready to go off at any moment. Dumping a generous amount of lube onto his cock, Tony reached down to spread it, smearing the last little bit of it around Peter’s entrance – the thought of the sticky-slick slide pushing him into position faster than he thought imaginable.

Nudging Peter’s thighs, Tony settled further between them, the muscles there clenching with the subtle pressure of a cock head against the relaxed rim; the feeling jolting them both. He sucked in a quick breath, his chest expanding with the long pull of air. Breathing back out, Tony pressed forward, thrusting his hips without hesitation until they were pressed soundly together, Tony’s pelvis to the warm flesh of Peter’s ass.

“Oh, fuck –“ Tony babbled, his head hanging between his shoulders as he held himself above Peter, giving them both a moment to adjust to the heat and tightness – the overall feeling of their connection blazing up between them.

Peter’s answer came in the form of a swift clench of muscle around Tony’s cock, the heat of it all burning any ounce of self-control Tony might’ve had. His hips snapped forward, the sound of skin slapping against skin pulling a groan from the depth of his chest. If this was what just being wrapped up in Peter felt like, Tony couldn’t even begin to fathom what the end result of their joining would be like.

A little bit desperate, Tony dropped down until their chests were pressed together, hands moving to urge Peter to wrap his thighs a little higher up his chest to better the angle. With that done, he nestled his face into the side of Peter’s neck and let go.

Every thrust was accompanied by the sweetest sounds, both men contributing to the groundbreaking symphony of passion and connection. The slap of skin on skin and breathy moans were the only thing that could be heard around the room, each crescendo of sound driving Tony that much closer to the edge he never wanted to reach – staying there, in that moment, it would’ve been the best thing in the world.

Yet, he found himself chasing the feeling of jumping over the peak, anyway. Peter was clamping down around him hard, the constant press of Tony’s dick against his prostate creeping him towards the edge – the man’s cock was slick between them, each thrust pulling yet another pulse of pre-cum from the tip to guide the way. Their stomachs provided the friction to Peter’s cock that Tony couldn’t, his attention completely consumed by thrusts and sweat and the heat surrounding him.

With his orgasm impending, Tony picked up his pace, the rhythmic strokes from before completely gone, replaced with an animalistic push and pull that was quickly driving him towards completion. He didn’t want to reach it until Peter did, however; the clench of muscles around his touch sensitive cock a good indicator of how close Peter was, too.

After another few hard thrusts, Peter wailed, his hand slipping into Tony’s hair to pull at the locks.

“I’m gonna cum – oh god, Tony!”

Holding on just long enough to see the look of pure ecstasy on Peter’s face, Tony thrusted once, twice, three times before letting himself go – his orgasm washing over him deliciously, the feel of it like passing out and coming to all in one shot.

Tony felt his arms give way, his body crashing heavily into Peter’s. They were covered in sweat and semen, both physically exerting their bodies to the point of exhaustion, but completely sated, nonetheless. Pressing a kiss to Peter’s neck, Tony let himself relax, not giving two shits about the sweaty stickiness between them.

“We should have been doing that for ages now,” Peter whispered, his voice deep and wrecked sounding, a sort of pleasure radiating from him as the words left his lips.

Chuckling softly, Tony wrapped Peter up, his arms squeezing him tightly to his chest, the two of them settling into the gentle comfort surrounding them in that moment.

“Well, you’re definitely not getting rid of me, now.”

----

Loosening the reins on the idea of his public image got a little easier the longer Tony spent in Peter’s arms. Without much to rely on in the personal life Tony cultivated throughout his existence, his image was really the only thing he had. Even if that image was one that wasn’t the best – at least the world knew something of him. Yet, the closer he got to Peter and the effortlessness of their relationship, the less he cared about what people thought of him – of his sassy, diva, socialite attitude that he’d been cultivating for so long.

Instead, Tony felt the need to let little pieces of himself shine through as the months past. It became clear that being his genuine self was important to Peter – the man seemed to like all the pieces of him and wanted the world to see him in all of his glory.

It’d been too long for him to completely pour his public persona completely down the drain – there were too many people that came to expect a certain sort of thing from him. And he wasn’t anywhere close to being comfortable with a public reveal of his face in conjunction with his pottery business, but – they were slowly making progress.

Several months after finally coming together as a couple, Tony and Peter were back where things started to change for them – Peter behind the camera, watching as Tony put on his mask to face the public. This time, they were camped in front of a sleek, all black motorcycle – the bike one of Tony’s most recent glutinous purchases (he happened upon it a week or two after Peter mentioned how sexy he thought it would be, Tony on the back of a bike like that). Tony let Peter pick out the outfit he was sporting, the straight black pants and stiff collared jacket one of his absolute favorites.

After several of these over their time together, Tony understood Peter’s feelings on the smolder he let free when posing for these types of photos – there was a love-hate relationship with the particular faces he made throughout the process. On one hand, Peter hated the reason for the false look – pleasing people was never something he became accustomed to, even after spending so much time with Tony. On the other hand, Tony knew that Peter found it irresistible – the fact that he could kiss it off of him now only adding to that feeling.

Peter let it go on for a while – they shot several different poses in, on, and around the bike. Directing him from behind the camera, Peter made comments here and there, most of the time allowing Tony to do what he wanted. When his limit was reached, Tony found himself slapped across the face with a rubber duck, the toy hitting him before he could even see it coming.

“I can’t take that look anymore. I want to pull you off that bike and ravage you. But I can’t – because we’re in public.”

Peter’s eye caught his, the truth of his words existing in the small space between them. Grinning, Tony let the rubber duck rest against his thigh, a smirk slipping across his lips. He heard a series of clicks before Peter was staring him down again, a mix between lust and hilarity playing across his face.

Later, when he downloaded the pictures, Tony couldn’t stop the big bust of laughter that fell from his lips, a huge smile slipping across his cheeks. He quickly opened up the one he would post and did the customary touch ups in Photoshop before sending it to himself, anticipation and excitement sitting in his chest at his most recent idea. Tony didn’t hesitate, bringing up Instagram and posting the photo without a second thought.

The thunk of a phone hitting the ground in the other room, followed by fast footsteps coming his way was the clear sign that Peter saw the picture – his boyfriend appearing in the doorway of their room a moment later with the most affectionate look on his face making Tony feel like he was about to burst open at the seams.

“All of those pictures and that’s the one you post?” Peter questioned, his long legs carrying him over until he was inches from Tony. “That rubber duck can’t be all that good for your image.”

Reaching out, Tony pulled Peter until they were chest to chest, his boyfriend’s arms wrapping around his shoulders to narrow the space down even further. “Someone told me it needed a change,” Tony mumbled, his words somewhat muffled by the press of his lips against Peter’s as he spoke. “Thought it might be a step in the right direction.”

Peter’s answer came in the form of a desperate kiss, their tongues and teeth clashing in the best of ways. “I love you, you fucking dork.”

Pressing back in for another kiss, Tony let himself revel in the feeling taking him over in that moment. After so long, it felt good to take the tiniest step out of the closet – there were many more to take, but at least he knew the effort was appreciated. He let himself stay lost in the kiss for a while, the desperate caress of soft lips and eager hands the only thing that really mattered.

[dirt-cup-draco]

Peter Maximoff x Reader- The First of Many

@starofthedawn​ Quicksilver x Mutant!Reader valentines request! 

I’ll be releasing the asks I have one at a time, leading up to the fourteenth! <3 Thank you for submitting asks! Remember that asks for valentines are open until the 5th, so there is still time :)

“Any plans this weekend m’lady?” Peter said, skidding to a stop in front of you, adjusting his goggles so they rested atop his head. You had to abruptly stop yourself to keep from running into him.

“What have I said about doing your speedy shit in front of me?” You laughed.

“Oh something about not wanting to trip and die but you didn’t answer my question,” He said, a playful grin on his lips. 

You rolled your eyes but shrugged, sidestepping him but he simply followed you as you walked down the hall. You were done with classes for the day and just wanted to go to your room and listen to some music but your friend seemed to have other plans as he continued to engage you in conversation. 

“No, I don’t think I’m doing anything, why would I be?” 

Peter froze again but followed once he realized you weren’t going to stop. “Um because youre a babe and it’s valentines day?” He said and you couldn’t fight the blush that crawled up your neck and stained your cheeks. He’d always been a bit of a flirt. You knew it was innocent. 

“Well, guess you’re the only one who thinks so. Besides, valentines day isn’t really my thing. I’ve never done anything for it, never received anything either. It’s just another day,” You said nonchalantly but you had to admit that it stung that no one had ever had the desire to sweep you off your feet. 

“Let’s do something then, make it a better day,” Peter said. He was trying to be cool about it but he really did want to make it special for you. He wanted you to realize how he felt about you. He wasn’t great with his feelings and he found it easier to run away from his problems, obviously. But he didn’t want to run from you. The day you’d come to Xavier’s school he knew there was something special about you. 

Maybe that was just because you had a pink floyd t-shirt on but still, you were something special. At first you had kept to yourself. It seemed that everyone did. Being a mutant wasn’t always butterflies and rainbows and from what he’d heard when you had come, and what you had later confided in him as a friend, you’d had it rough at home. Dad thought you were a freak, knocked around you and your mom. You had finally left at your mothers pleading. 

You had a home now, and your mom had even left your dad so you’d brightened up considerably. You were a god damn ray of sunshine with the kindest heart and he had no choice but to fall for you. He knew he could be all over the pace, going a million miles a minute, yet you were patient and happy to listen and talk with him and joke with him. You were special. 

“Why?” You asked, “It’s just another day,” 

“Let me prove otherwise,” He said, wishing you weren’t so damn stubborn about a stupid day. 

You finally sighed but a smile had graced your features and he was glad to see that you had lightened up. “Fine, I’ll tag along for whatever crazy plans you have,”

He grinned and fixed his goggles back over his eyes, pressing a sloppy kiss to your cheek with a thank you before speeding off somewhere. 

What had you gotten yourself into?  

The fourteenth had arrived and at noon sharp there was a quick knock on your day, waking you from your slumber. You peered blearily at the alarm clock on your night stand and jumped up. “Oh shit!” You cussed, hopping to your feet and opening the door, wide eyed with messy hair and pajamas rumpled. 

“I’m so sorry, I must’ve turned my alarm off! Give me like ten minutes,” You said to the boy in front of you, arms behind his back as he stood patiently, an amused look on his face. 

“Alright but hurry, we have many plans today,” He winked and you giggled, shocked at the girlish noise. Your friend was a flirt that was it. 

Soon you were ready to go and he was finally presenting you with a cheesy bouquet of roses as well as a heart shaped box of chocolates that was definitely overpriced. You grinned and rolled your eyes, setting the sweet gifts on your bed as you shut the door behind you. 

“You didn’t have to do all this,” You said but Peter was shaking his head and linking your arms together. 

“My babe of a bestie must have the best valentines day ever, and I happen to plan wonderfully for such occasions,” He said teasingly but you were blushing madly. That was the second time in as many days he had called you a babe. Was it purely innocent? He’d always been a tad flirtatious but what was his motivation behind being extra flirty? Was it simply because he thought thats what valentines day should be? 

Your thoughts were quieted however for a time as Peter dragged you all around downtown, going in every store you peaked at, insisting on buying you dorky items you found along the way. You had collected a bear with a lopsided eye, a bracelet from the clearance bin, some socks with pompoms on the back of all things, and then he had bought you two matching t-shirts. 

You had to admit that you were having a good time. 

The sun eventually started to dip in the sky and you two walked around the park, various couples doing the same. Your cheeks burned. You two weren’t a couple. But today had you hoping differently. You’d got to see Peter differently. It wasn’t the things he had bought you, it was how much time he’d seemed to have spent planning this day just so that you would have a good time. 

Your arms were linked like they had been all day and you both fell into a comfortable silence, licking at the ice cream he had bought to wrap up your day. You had been the one to suggest a walk, not wanting this day to end. It was the first time you had ever wanted the fourteenth to last forever. 

“Hey Peter-” You started.

“I’ve got to tell you something-” He interjected. “Sorry, you go first,” He chuckled, a nervous edge to it as he tossed the rest of his soggy cone, hand going to rub at his neck as his eyes darted to the trees. 

“Are you sure?” You asked and he nodded, your heart thumping as you paused. What had you been going to say? Ah, right. That I was wondering if maybe this could be more than a one time thing. You were embarrassed. Because you had time to think on what was about to come spilling past your lips you had time to get insecure and nervous. This was not your strong point. 

“Um- I just wanted to say thank you,” He smiled a little but his eyes wouldn’t meet yours. He nearly looked disappointed so you stopped in your tracks and took a deep breath. “And that I really had a great time, today was perfect. Really, best day I’d ever had, thanks to you.” 

“It was no big deal-” 

“No, it is... No one else would put this much effort into me. You spent the day making me feel special and loved. Peter, you make me feel loved.” You admitted, getting a little choked up. Your stomach was doing flips and you were going to be sick. 

The smile on your best friends face though was bright and genuine and he wrapped his arms around you. 

“I would hope so, I do love you Y/N,” 

“I know you do, I never doubted it,” 

“No, Y/N I love you, so much. M-more than just... More than friends, okay?” He finally found the courage to say aloud. 

“You do?” You squeaked, your face going pink. 

He nodded, hand returning back to the nape of his neck to rub anxiously. You grabbed his wrists and pulled him towards you, pressing your lips to his to show you felt the same because you weren’t sure you had the words to let him know how you felt. You were stunned but pleased. 

He kissed back, hot and excited. He kissed you like a starved man and as if this would be the last kiss you ever shared even though you hoped it was the first of many. 

While you melted in his arms, Peter was thinking of how he could top this next year. After all, this was the first of many valentines dates. 

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

Spider-Man v3 2099 #23-25 Thoughts

Some mixed feelings.

 There was a lot of stuff I liked, and a fair amount I was disappointed by.

There was some art and dialogue production issues, which I think might’ve occurred because the series was wrapping up and whoever was in charge didn’t catch as they were prepping for whatever the next project was.

But more significantly, I honestly felt that there were several unanswered questions:

·         What was the big bad thing Miguel and Liz did that was talked about back in volume 2 #1?

·         What actually caused the Maestro’s version of 2099 to happen?

·         What caused that future to alter into the Sinister Six’s future?

·         What was up with those purple Mohawk mutant people from volume 3 #1 who obviously had something to do with Tempest but it’s never explained

·         How was Tempest’s mother involved with the Fist

·         Shit there wasn’t any resolution for Tempest’s mother at all was there!

·         What exactly did Tyler Stone plan to use Tempest for? Was he really just tempting her to take his treatment so she’d stab Miguel on sight?

·         Why should Sonny Frisco be left in the present day? He’s from the future and has some future tech leftover from his Iron Man armour

·         What happened to the Sinister Six 2099? Electro is presumably shut down for good but what happened to Venom, Vulture, Doc Ock and Sandwoman? Yeah presumably they’re all going to team up in 2019, but Sandwoman was nowhere to be found and IIRC she wasn’t dead. Moreover they were still around in 2019 under the employ of the Fist.

·         How did Tyler Stone travel to the past?

·         How did Tyler Stone join up with the Fist?

·         How did Tyler Stone rise to what seemed like the leadership of the Fist

·         What happened to Venture and Glorianna?

·         What happened with Miguel’s fellow time traveller who created the new version of X-Factor? Was that really just very loose and light set up for Secret Wars 2099?

·         The payoff for the Alchemax prison facility which was then turned into a terrorist internment facility was...just the place for the final showdown to occur? Really?

Why DID the cure for Tempest’s cancer turn her into an insect monster back in Vol. 2?

Also, not really an unanswered question but the emotional investment into Miguel and Tempest’s relationship is still rather hollow as I talked about back in issue #20. It just kind of feels significant because Tempest has been around since waaaaay back in the backup story from ASM volume 3 #1. Not to mention Miguel’s survival is definitely a dues ex machina.

The harsh truth is the more I think about the resolution of this the more I come to the sad realizing it at best left an awful lot to be desired.

Objectively it’s very problem riddled.

Now that being said...on a pure enjoyment level I did LIKE it.

I don’t think I ever expressed this before, but the reason I started calling posts like this ‘Thoughts’ rather than ‘Review(s)’ like I used to is because, whilst I firmly believe a story can be objectively evaluated, I found it stressful and well...not fun doing it.

Plus I do this blog for me and realized posts like this one are more for me, so I have a record of my thoughts and feelings for these stories.

I’m not saying me liking something or disliking it makes it good or bad objectively. But what I am saying is...well I enjoyed this.

I was disheartened by the lack of pay off to a lot of stuff, but I did enjoy the ride while I was on it.

Let me talk about a few minor things that annoyed me before I end more positively.

So a Pokemon Go parody is intrinsic to the battle to save the future. I dunno, that just feels both on the nose and unearned since Pokemon Go! wasn’t even a thing when this series began. Also Tyler Stone’s motivations were rather underwhelming and Miguel didn’t get enough of a showdown with him. Granted, I guess you could argue said showdown already happened in Secret Wars 2099. He same applies to the Sinister Six 2099, especially Venom given that he is Miguel’s brother from another mother. Furthermore the explanation for who Aisa is, was a tad underwhelming but not illogical as I’ll address later.

Now for positives.

For starters it’s funny that whilst this issue came out in like September 2017, it’s depiction of 2019 wasn’t that far off. The only things it a little wrong was that people aren’t as much into Pokemon Go! as they were in 2017 and Silk to my knowledge doesn’t operate in New York city anymore. But all of those are easily No. Prized so in theory this comic’s depiction of 2019 is actually canon. I think it basically HAS to be or else the Fist’s plan could still happen and Miguel would’ve prevented nothing. Although the Marvel.wiki says otherwise. But they aren’t always right.

My biggest point of praise is in regarding Gabri.

Maybe I was being dense, but I honestly didn’t figure out who he was until he stabbed Tyler Stone with a stinger like Tempest’s.

See, when these issues were coming out I obviously saw the covers of Miguel in his new suit alongside another Spider-Man 2099, one wearing the original red and blue 2099 costume. But I wasn’t paying enough attention to notice the red and blue costume was similar, yet clearly different to the original. I was thinking that it was simply Miguel from another universe, another timeline or another point in time, possibly playing off of the Edge of Spider-Verse issue with the alternate Miguels back in volume 2 issue #5.

But no...this is the son of Miguel O’Hara, the Spider-Man of...well we don’t actually know what year he is from. He’s a time traveller and whilst he’s partnered up with his mother in 2019, he looks to be about Miguel’s age. Giving him a suit similar yet unique to his father’s, with his ‘cape’ evoking his mother’s wings and such was a nice touch. I think PAD in making him a time traveller adds just enough credibility to his powers too as some kind of future technology. I doubt we’ll see much more of this character, but damn I’d like to, even out of his outfit he seems pretty cool.

And if nothing else, I just like that Miguel has a legacy and got to KNOW that.

Another thing I really liked about the structure of the story essentially allowed for there to be two climaxes, one in the future of 2019 where Aisa was the final boss and one in the present of 2017 where Miguel got to settle his business.

Let’s talk briefly about Aisa. So she’s literally one of the Greek Fates. I found this underwhelming, but I can’t say it wasn’t a logical reveal. In fact it justifies the Medea story arc with Elektra as that in hindsight was putting Greek myth on the chessboard for PAD to use later.

In fact these last three issues can be looked at as PAD essentially treating elements across his 2010s Spidey 2099 run (or at least the issues that weren’t mandated events) as chess pieces that came into play here.

·         Back in volume 3 issue #1, Miguel referenced Peter, Silk and Miles being around to pick up his slack. Those 3 saved the civilians under mind control.

·         The Sinister Six and Tyler Stone obviously all showed up in the Sinister Six arc beginning in issue #10, and in particular Tyler was popping up sporadically since the Secret Wars mini

·         Strange 2099 with the help of Cap 2099 ultimately save Miguel’s life and they were showing up before and during Secret Wars

·         Tempest’s insect form was introduced back in v2 #11-12 and was critical to the climax of this story. In fact I love the poetry of Miguel and his father Tyler both dying via stingers, stingers passed down from mother to son no less

·         Sonny obviously was showing up on and off since Secret Wars

·         The Alchemax Prison is something that’s been lingering (and unfortunately was often ignored) since way back in v2 #5

·         I already explained the Greek myth angle

·         Man Mountain Marko has been building a grudge with Spidey since before issue v3 #10

In a sense it was rewarding seeing all this stuff come back into play for the climax, but it definitely could’ve been done better, in a more satisfying way. Frankly, if the Medea story had been cut to 2 issues tops we might’ve had an extra issue to fix some of this stuff.

The final thing I want to talk about is issue #25 specifically. I don’t know if this was intentional, but to me issue #25 read as PAD delivering a microcosm of Miguel.

In various scenes, organically strung together, we see different facets of his personality. The dives are not necessarily deep, but this one issue, for any faults you might find in it’s plot, speaks a lot to who Miguel O’Hara is as a person.

It’s light, it’s subtle but it tells you the cliffnotes.

He’s sarcastic.

He’s sardonic.

He’s not a murderer, but is willing to be violent, willing to kill.

He is on the side of the angels, but is absolutely not one of them.

He values family but they frustrate him.

He’s far from wholesome.

He’s willing to make the sacrifice play for what’s right, for what has to be done.

He faces his own destruction head on.

He has a cynical streak in him.

He’s got anger in him and acknowledges it can compromise him.

He’s smart, both in terms of scientific brilliance and tactical thinking.

Hell even the use of his powers and gadgets (we could include Lyla in that) get one last ride in this issue.

And it’s all capped off with him saving everyone at the cost of his lover, his child and his own life. Only for him to come back to the world he’s saved, his home and ring in the new yea, the new century in factr. 2099 is OVER at last!

But he doesn’t celebrate. But he also isn’t Peter Parker, so he doesn’t somberely mope. He just gets on with it acknowledging what he’s lost, what it was for and rolling his eyes at the fact that the good times aren’t going to last.

And yet...it’s not depressing.

THAT’S Miguel O’Hara to me.

Over all, this arc 100% could’ve been better. But as a fond farewell to the character, possibly even being the last time his creator will ever write him, it was a Hell of a ride.

And for that ride, I thank Peter David and Will Sliney.

[monkey-network]

Good Stuff: Into the Spiderverse

WARNING: Excelsior, my playas and players. Thank you, take care out there, and enjoy. [Spoiler-Free]

Spider-Man: Soarin’ Miles High into Web-slinging Greatness

It’s a good movie. Stylish, footloose, well-animated, a little tear jerking, fun as heck. You’ve seen the scores. Any one who utterly hates this is either Armond White (whom is a cool contrarian with a solid review of this flic, don’t hate on him) or a snooty ass bitch. It’s a see to believe movie, and I won’t say my review will be any different.

And this has been Spidey’s year, hasn’t it?

I’ll get the negatives out the way. For one is with the Kingpin’s motive. While the hulk ass looking mob boss was certainly an entertaining villain, his conviction for fucking up space time didn’t make much sense and for someone who has seen why the Kingpin does what he does for some time, this was a bizarrely out of place change to his character. Another thing was that, and few may agree, the movie can be hard on the eyes sometimes, especially the climax with the colors and somewhat blurry animation. Honestly, this movie felt blurry by design in some scenes, and I wasn’t watching the 3D take. I won’t take points away for giving me a great finale, cuz it did, but I was admittedly zoned out when it was over. And in hindsight, while we have so many Spider-men, while the quipping was on point and I love them all, half the team only got small doses of excellence and it’s mostly in the 3rd act; guessing the sequel will make up for it but can’t help but say the film was a little overstuffed. Now, if I may fangasm for a bit.... *inhale*

Animation’s so fucking tight! Love the colors, it was a goddamn rainbow! While no J. Jonah Jameson, we got Stan Lee keepin’ it real as always! Ms. Frizzle as Aunt May! Doc Ock was great and Prowler was everything I DREAMED of! The cinematography makes this the most dynamic animation I’ll ever see since Redline. The text boxes and onomatopoeia words honestly made this movie work so well. Got the most diverse looking New York City, it’s too smooth. Spiderman 2099′s cameo was the maraschino cherry on top. This was like fucking Kung Fu Panda and The Lego Movie combined! We finally got an Afro-Latino Spider-Man, a Spider-Woman, a Batman Nick Cage Spider-Man, an Anime Spider-Girl with a Spider-Mech, and Peter Porker.

Spider Pig, my NINJAS! HALLELUJAH, HOLY SHIT!

*breathes* But. If. There’s one thing that excels this as not only a great Spidey film, but a great hero film is how it handles the concept of Spider-Man, the hero. Better than Homecoming. BOOM, send tweet! While I say it’s overstuffed, this does take its time to give Miles the steps to become not only a Spider-Man, but a hero on his own accords. Spider-Man was never about a chosen hero or an already successful suit using their powers for good, it was about an average teen that suddenly receives amazing power and acts to use them responsibly because he felt it was the right thing to do. Miles didn’t have to become Spider-Man, even with his newfound powers, but he wanted to be and this desire is prominent throughout the film. His school life at the beginning presented this theme subtly well too. With Gwen and 🅱️eter by his side, Miles got to rise from being a regular teen to a hero both New York, and the audience in a meta sense, have come to root for and admire, especially after a long wait.

Miles Morales got and earned the respect he deserves

So yeah, the movie was quite the spectacular. Such a great stand alone film that made way for possibly plenty more to come. Honestly became one of my favorite animated films not only of this year, but of all time (tho it can never beat Lego Movie or Redline) and I mean this earnestly. Surprised that this came from the same people behind the Amazing Spider-Man films and the Emoji Movie, I say Sony redeemed themselves with this and potentially more in the future. As for this.....

4.9 out of 5. A Spidah Strong Masterpiece

[lakinda5654]

~~~~A Girl and A God~~~~ Chapter 23- Words

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A Girl and A God is a RATED M Loki Fanfic with an original character, Alexa, who is taken in by Tony Stark after the revelation of abilities of her own. There’s sex, romance, heartbreak, action, fluff, angst, all that good stuff. Full description in blog, and a jump-to-chapter list if you just want the smut or the cuteness bits. Enjoy <3

Chapter Summary: Alexa and Loki spend their last day at the tower before she leaves for the full moon, Alexa tells Loki a sultry secret, and the two have an eventful evening on the couch...

Contains: Jealousy, Smut, Fluff, Coming out, dirty talk, dom/sub

Word Count: 1,776

~Previous Chapter~~Next Chapter~

~~Beginning of Story~~

—————————————————

Another day passed. It was typical, with nothing super special, but for Alexa it was difficult. The full moon was the day after tomorrow, and she couldn’t get it out of her head.

During lab that day, Tony had spoken to her about his plan. He had a special holding cell, out in the middle of the countryside in Canada. Nothing for miles around but woods. He would take her there and be able to safely monitor her and keep her calm and at ease, hopefully without any issues. Alexa agreed but was sad that she wouldn’t be able to be with Loki during the whole process, though it wasn’t like she was expecting it.

Loki had been sensing her tension and fear through the whole day, so he’d tried to make it as lighthearted as possible. They watched the comedies that she somehow found funny, and he tolerated them with her.

Inside though, Loki had been struggling with his own desires. He hadn’t been with a woman in such a long time, their acts in the days prior had been stuck in his mind like a virus. But he knew that Alexa had much to deal with at the moment, and he didn’t want to seem desperate or needy, even though at this point, he was.

Alexa went to group lunch and chatted with Peter and Thor most of the time. She had found that those two made good companions for her. Thor was so very kind and always seemed understanding. He told her some of his stories of adventures and how he first came to Earth. She loved hearing them. She also told Thor of her power discoveries, and though they hadn’t gotten to play with lightning together, she still wanted to on her next cycle. She also showed Thor pictures on her phone and little videos of Pikachu, which he didn’t quite seem to find as cute as she did, but he at least tried to understand.

Peter had visited after lunch that day to play with Thunder and talk with her. She’d hidden Loki under the bed for his visit. They had a good time together, the two of them had a lot in common, mostly with their humor. 

Once Peter had left, Loki groaned and rolled out from under the bed. “Could we try to make his visits as minimal as possible?”

“Yes, I know it’s uncomfortable down there... I’m sorry,” she said, helping him to his feet and giving him a kiss on the cheek. 

Loki stretched his cramped muscles now that they were free. As he went into the kitchen to get a snack, he commented to Alexa from across the room. “You two do seem to get along well.” His tone was ever so slightly sarcastic. 

Is he jealous? she thought. “What do you mean?”

“Well, he seems quite fond of you.” His tone was growing more sarcastic and snarky as they spoke. 

“Loki oh my word he is 16. Not only is he under-age but he is 4 years younger than me. He’s just a kid. A kid who wants a friend.”

 “You do realize I am over a thousand years old, Petal. If 4 years is too much for you I am certainly off-limits.”

Alexa sighed loudly. “That’s different. You’re immortal basically. Exceptions apply.” She ended it at that and turned on the TV to watch an episode of The Office before going to dinner.

When she returned from dinner, it was their last evening together before she would leave for Canada tomorrow afternoon with Stark. Loki knew he’d miss her, but he kept trying to keep things lighthearted. “What is your favorite show, Petal?” He said as they picked something to watch, spooning on the couch.

“House. But I haven’t shown you that one yet, so I guess out of the ones you’ve seen, my favorite is The Office.” She replied, but her tone was heavy, and the happiness normally present in her voice was drained.

“Hm,” he said and kept looking to the tv while stroking his hand through her hair.

“Loki…” she clearly had something to say, and he felt it would surely be about the full moon, but she surprised him. “Was I good? At sex?”

This was unexpected. “My petal we haven’t even had sex. If you think we have then I have a lot more to teach you than I thought.” He chuckled a bit as he spoke into the back of her head. 

“I mean i know we haven’t actually done it, but in general.” she rolled onto her back so she could see him. “Like the other night, when you…” she looked at him and made a motion with her head, begging to not have to say it. 

He raised his eyebrows at her expectantly. 

“I mean when we kissed and I tried to…” she paused, clearly uncomfortable. 

He pounced in this opportunity. “To what, love?”

“To do other things? Like, grab your hair and kind of, move my body with yours, or… whatever. Was I good at that stuff?”

She had no idea how good she’d been. He was utterly intoxicated and wanted to command her to strip at this instant. To throw her on his bed and take what was his, to hear her scream his name…

But that was the sole physical drive in him. He’d done that with the many Asgardians in the past that were paid for such things, but this was different. He cared for this girl’s feelings. He wanted to make sure she was comfortable and wanted to know what she liked. He wanted to please her. Not to mention, that he was her first. He wanted to be a good experience for her, but truly he wanted to be her only experience. He knew that was wrong, he shouldn’t want to own this girl, but he wanted to in the purest way; he wanted to be owned by her too.

“You were… utterly perfect Petal.” He said, his tone was deep. Thinking back to what she’d done made him even more filled with lust.

That made her smile. “And what of me?” Loki said, raising his eyebrows at her. “Was I satisfactory to you, pet?” He already knew the answer.

“Oh… yes, Loki it was… amazing.” She stuttered a bit.

“And what more would you like of me? Is there anything that you have a fondness for? Any particular… desires?” He was struggling to hold himself back now and began running his fingertips up and down her neck.

“Actually, yes. There is something I’ve been meaning to tell you, um…” he noticed immediately that her tone had changed, she seemed nervous again.

“What is it, love?”

“On Asgard… is anyone ever, like what’s the stance on… well…same-sex relationships?”

Oh. Loki could see where this was possibly going, and it utterly drove him mad with want. The thought of her with another girl…

“Ah yes. Humans still find it controversial don’t they?”

“Well, some do.”

“On Asgard, it does not matter who you love, so long as you love them kindly and with loyalty.”

“Oh okay…” Alexa paused. “Well, do you know what Bi is?”

“I certainly do.” His voice was smooth and understanding.

She didn’t speak, it seemed like she couldn’t get the words out herself.

“Is that what you are, love?

Alexa nodded nervously.

Loki laughed. “Petal you don’t need to be afraid. You think I have the ability to shape-shift into whoever I please at my whim and I have not explored the many realms of sex in my one thousand years of life?”

Oh. She wasn’t expecting that, but it made everything that much better. She smiled, relieved, and pushed her lips onto his. The more she learned of this god, the more deeply she fell in love with him.

“There are other kinks I have too…” Alexa said. She’d gained more confidence, and her tone had turned from anxious to teasing. 

Loki noticed. “Oh? Do tell.”

“Well…” she said, playing with the collar of her shirt. “I love being controlled. Like, someone just using me. At least I fantasize about that a lot when…” she jolted back into uncomfortable. Loki was now bursting with lust at her confession of being submissive, and he pushed himself closer to her. “When what, pet?”

With his lips inches from her face, his breathing heavy, Alexa realized very quickly where this was going.

“When you play with yourself?”

She gave a short nod. Her eyes once again trapped in his and wouldn’t let go. He kept leaning towards her and moved to the side until he had pushed her down onto her back on the couch, and he held himself over her.

“Oh my dear, I would love to see that, but I do believe would be punishable if you were to touch what is mine without permission.”

His words caught her by surprise, causing her mouth to hang slightly open for a moment. At the same time, she could feel how effective his words were between her legs. 

Suddenly, he was literally ripping the t-shirt off of her body,  and he pulled her shorts down. She kicked them off her feet. He then forcefully grabbed her wrists and held her hands down behind her head. He looked over his mortal girl in only her underwear and blush-colored bra and admired how her skin tensed up from the sudden cold of the room.

“I know you’re not experienced pet, but don’t worry, I will teach you.” He said as he looked over her blushing face. “Kiss me. Give me your pretty tongue to suck on. Seduction begins with the lips, little girl.” (*)

His words were rendering her speechless, but she did as she was told. They fell into a kiss, that Loki almost immediately took over, his lips crashing into hers over and over, and his tongue fighting with hers.

Loki began to remove his own clothes, opting for the non-magical route given how she always seemed to watch him so intensely when he manually pulled off his own shirt over his head.

Alexa looked at him in total admiration, his body was so damn perfect.

He leaned down to start kissing her again, holding her down by her wrists against the arm of the couch with one hand, and pulling her head back by her hair with the other. He kissed and bit at her neck, causing her to whimper. 

Then, the door opened. 

“Hey Alexa I went to the pet store and found this super cute thing for…”

Peter’s eyes widened. For once, he didn’t have words.

—————————————————

*I remember that line was from a Loki dirty talk submission blog, but I can not for the life of me find it. Please tell if anyone knows where it came from!

[whimsicallyenchantedrose]

Taking Back Neverland--Chapter 8 of 10

Pairing:  Captain Swan

Rating:  G or a soft T

Summary: AU. After actress Emma Swan’s lead role in a popular TV show is at an end, she is offered the leading role in the Regina Mills film, Taking Back Neverland, a fresh retelling of the Peter Pan story.  It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity.  Only problem?  She’ll be starring opposite Killian Jones, who she positively can’t stand.  (Originally part of my Fluffy Fridays collection.)

Previous chapters: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7)

Notes:  So this is an old story, originally written about 3 years ago as part of my Fluffy Fridays collection, but @kmomof4 made the amazing above pic-set for it as a birthday gift, (Thanks Krystal!  It’s perfect!), and I decided it was time for a reissue.   Enjoy!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Emma took a long sip from her bottle of water, pausing to push a damp, sweaty lock of hair behind her ear before sipping again. It had been a demanding day on set.  They’d spent long hours filming action scenes—the heroes finally discovering Pan’s ultimate goal and then rushing to Skull Rock to stop him from taking Henry’s heart.

It wasn’t merely the physical demands that left her exhausted and thoroughly drained; there were the emotions as well. She figured only an actor could truly appreciate how exhausting it was to work yourself into a state of high emotion—and stay there for hours on end.

But if Emma was being thoroughly honest with herself, it wasn’t merely the exhaustion of portraying strong emotions that was tiring her, it was…how very close to home those emotions hit. In the movie, she was reacting to losing her son, to watching as he gave his heart to Pan, naively believing he was saving magic, to watching him crumple to the ground unconscious.

Emma knew what it was like to lose her son. Granted, her boy hadn’t died—that she knew of, at least—but she’d lost him all the same.  She’d lost him before she’d ever been able to see him.  She doubted she’d ever forget the sound of those strong little cries as the nurses cleaned him up after his birth.  She’d turned her head aside, determined not to even look at him, because if she did, she knew she’d break.  Her arms that ached to hold him would take him and she’d never, never be able to let him go.

She blinked the tears back, sniffing lightly. She’d been emotional enough today—even if it was just acting—she wasn’t going to break down again.  She wasn’t!  That time, no matter how painful, was over.  She’d moved on with her life, and if she occasionally thought about her son, her little boy, wondered where he was and what he was doing, if he was happy….well, she tried to keep those times to a minimum.  She’d done what she had to to give him his best chance, and she just had to trust it had worked out for him.

“Alright there, Swan?”

Her heart stuttered and then began to race at the warm, concerned sound in Killian’s accented voice. It was a good voice; a soothing voice.  Something like…smooth hot chocolate with a hint of spice…cinnamon, maybe.

She took a deep breath, surprised (and maybe a little dismayed) at her reaction. They hadn’t filmed together today and it was the first time she’d so much as seen him since their last scene together two days ago. 

“Yeah,” she said, pasting on a smile. “Just one of those days where it’s all emotional scenes all the time.”

He nodded sympathetically. “Ah yes,” he said.  “Hard to turn off the emotion after hours of ginning it up, aye?”

“Something like that,” she answered, having the sudden desire to talk to him, to let him know how very close to home the scene had truly come, to bare to him all her heartache over that worst day of her life.

But things were weird between them now, had been ever since the kiss scene a week and a half ago. The friendship, easy camaraderie they’d had when they first started filming together was just…gone.

It was her fault; she knew it was. The first day on set after her conversation with Mary Margaret, Killian had come up to her after they wrapped for the day.

“Swan,” he said, fidgeting slightly, his thumb and fingers tapping against each other. “If you’ve a moment, I have something I’d like to speak to you about.”

He was nervous; that much was plain, and his nerves naturally put her a little on edge. Whatever he wanted to say to her was big, important, and…she just wasn’t sure she was ready for it yet; didn’t know if she’d ever be.

“I’ve got dinner plans with Ruby,” she said shortly, “so make it quick.”

He sighed, glanced at the ground for a moment, and reached up to scratch behind his ear. After a moment, he seemed to get ahold of himself, straightening, looking her firmly in the eye, and swaying toward her slightly.

“Swan,” he began again, in a voice firm with resolve, “it’s perhaps time we discuss the elephant in the room.”

Oh this wasn’t starting well. This wasn’t starting well at all.  Emma didn’t talk about elephants in the room.  She ignored them, avoided them at all costs, going so far as to run away from the room if necessary, and let the gigantic creatures trumpet their unnaturally long trunks to their hearts’ content.

But something about the way Killian was looking at her, with gentleness as well as resolve, with care for her as well as nervousness for himself, left her rooted to place.

“Emma…” he began again, “you cannot be unaware that that kiss we shot…it was not merely acting for me. You know I’ve developed feelings for you.”

Her heart started racing. “Killian…it was just a kiss!  It wasn’t…”

He stopped her with a raised hand. “I know love; please let me finish.”

She sighed, but nodded.

“I know you’re not ready, you’re still tentative because you had your heart broken, but you know what? I’m glad for it.”

She crossed her arms, narrowing her eyes at him. “You’re glad I got my heart broken?”

“Aye,” he said, stepping closer to her, “because if it’s broken, it means it still works.”

“Killian…”

He stopped her again. “I need you to know, Emma, that I’m in this for the long haul, I’d follow you to the end of the world or time, but I have no desire, none at all, to pressure you or make you uneasy.  To that end, I’m going to back off.  Just know if you ever need anything, anything at all, you’ve but to let me know.”

And then he was gone, leaving so abruptly she didn’t even have time to respond. Not that she could have formed coherent sentences after a speech like that delivered with Killian’s particular brand of intensity.

And over the last week and a little more, he’d carefully kept his promise. They barely spoke, save for what their characters said to each other on screen.  Whereas before, they’d often head to the break room together during on-set breaks, content to sit in companionable silence, now…well, she went to the break room, but he nodded politely to her and headed in the opposite direction.

She wouldn’t admit it, least of all to him, but she missed him.

“Yeah,” she said, bringing her mind back to the conversation at present. “There’s nothing about watching your onscreen son give his heart to a psychopath and then collapse over and over and over again that isn’t rough emotionally speaking.”

His eyes became even more concerned, and he reached his hand out as though to grasp her arm but pulled it back at the last moment. “Well at least that should be one of the last scenes of such negative emotion.  Tomorrow we film you and your sister retrieving the lad’s heart and then restoring him to life.”

“Yeah,” she said smiling. “Can you believe we only have a few more scenes to shoot?  Seems like these few months have flown by.”

“Indeed they have.”

“So,” she said casually, “you got plans for tonight? I thought I’d see if David and Mary Margaret and some of the rest wanted to go out for drinks later.  Well, I suppose Mary Margaret wouldn’t be up for drinks—at least not the fun kind—in her current condition, but it’s always good to have a designated driver, right?”

She was starting to babble, and her face reddened more with every ridiculous word she said. What was the big deal?  She was just asking a co-worker to hang out with her—and several others—after work.  Not like she was asking for a date or anything. 

She knew what he was going to say before he opened his mouth. The slightly pained look in his eyes gave it away.  “I’d love to join you, Swan, but I’m afraid I already have plans.”

At that moment, his lively, blonde agent walked in and walked their way. “You have plans with Tink?  Wait…are you two…?”

“No!” the lady in question said quickly.

“Perhaps,” Killian said, hand going to his belt buckle, leaning back with a ridiculous amount of swagger, tongue doing positively indecent things to the corner of his mouth. “Jealous, Swan?”

She scoffed. “You wish!”

She turned, ready to stalk off, when he stopped her with a hand to her arm. “Wait, love.  The lady is right.  There’s nothing of a personal nature going on here.  We’ve merely scheduled a business dinner to suggest potential projects once this film wraps.”

Emma felt a swift and immediate rush of relief…which, of course, annoyed the crap out of her. What the hell did she care if he was dating Tink or not?  He could date all the women within a twenty mile radius for all she cared!

“Well, have fun,” she said, turning away. “See you…whenever we film again.”

He looked like he wished to speak again, but contented himself with a mere nod before heading off with his bubbly agent.

“You know, he really likes you,” Emma heard from behind her. She turned around to find herself face to face with her “son” Henry.

“I don’t know, Henry,” she said, skeptically.

“Well I do,” Henry said earnestly.

“Sometimes things are…more complicated…than they look,” Emma hedged. “I know it’s probably hard to understand, but things can be kind of…messy…with adults.”

Henry rolled his eyes and sighed. “You know, Emma, grown-ups never think kids know things.  They always say we can’t understand!  I understand things.”

Emma smiled, in spite of herself. There was something so earnest and open about this kid.  She couldn’t help but be drawn to him.  “Guess you’re right.  Maybe we aren’t fair all the time.”

He grinned up at her, and for a moment her breath caught. That grin was so familiar.  Reminded her a bit of Neal…back before he’d revealed himself to be a total crap person.  He had that same kind of…joyful carefree spirit.

Emma had gotten to know Henry quite a bit over the last week or two. With things being so…weird between her and Killian, Emma spent more time in between takes hanging out around set, watching other scenes being filmed.  The kid was really a pretty good little actor.  She bought what he was selling.

Then they’d filmed a few scenes that Anna and Henry had together, and Emma got to know the kid even more. He was smart and idealistic.  Always saw the best in everyone.  Had more faith in…everything…than Emma had ever seen.

Regina couldn’t have possibly cast a better person for the “truest believer”.

Emma felt a quick pang as she thought about how very close they were coming to the end of filming. The thought of wrapping for good…and maybe never seeing Henry again, never getting to work this closely with him, well it didn’t set well.  They’d really become close, and she’d miss the little guy.

“I know you’ve been kind of sad lately,” Henry said, looking up at her with serious brown eyes. “And I know you and Killian haven’t been such good friends.  I just…I think he misses you as much as you miss him.”

“I don’t…” she began.

He stopped her with another groan. “Yes you do, Emma!” he said.  “I can see the way you look at him…and the way he looks at you.  All gross and mushy and stuff.  Maybe you should talk to him.  Tell him you like him…”

Emma felt the nerves kick in. She didn’t want to like him.  She didn’t want these feelings she could no longer deny to herself she felt.  Falling for someone—it was making yourself vulnerable, and she didn’t do vulnerable.

But what good was protecting your heart if you ended up miserable anyway? Yeah, maybe he’d break her heart, but, well, maybe not.  Maybe this fire between them would settle into something really, really good.  Something that had forever written all over it.  And if things went south later, at least she’d have the good memories they made together.

Maybe…and Emma couldn’t believe she was even thinking this…maybe it was time to take a leap of faith.

“Maybe you’re right, kid,” she said, ruffling his hair.

“Of course I am,” he said with that same sunny grin. “And, Emma…I think you’re really cool.  I think you should be happy, and I think Killian would make you happy.”

“Alright, Henry, you convinced me,” she finally said, the butterflies going crazy in her stomach at the decision she was making. “I’ll ask him out next time I see him.”

[bernadineisreborn]

Handling the Truth

Prologue

Summary: You are moving to NYC to go to college after a lifetime of living in a suburb of Chicago. Hopeful that the future is kind to you, you plan to put your best foot forward, even when things go wrong. Besides, handling the truth has always been something you’re good at. 

Warnings: none (yet!)

Pairings: Peter Parker x female, enhanced reader

Word Count: a teeny little 1.4k

A/N: Hello, lovely people! This is a new idea I have been working on for a while. I plan to update it about twice a week??? Not sure though. Empire State University is a real place in the Marvel Comics, and it is attended by Peter, Harry, Flash, Gwen Stacy and others like Johnny Storm and Squirrel Girl. Read about it here! PS. Everyone in this story is at least 18 years old!!! PPS. I am either ignoring Infinity War or letting this story happen after Peter is (hopefully) brought back to life, you can choose which.

Other Parts: Chapter One

—

You glance behind you while walking towards the gate you need to board. Over your shoulder, you see your parents waving at you, happy that you are following your dreams, but sad that you are leaving home. You wave back, fighting tears in your eyes, and you can’t help but wonder if you are making the right decision. 

You have always wanted to live in New York City, but leaving everything you know and love behind made it hard to take the leap. Still, you know that relocating is what’s best for you. The move offers you a brand new start, and the ability to leave the horrors of high school in the past. So, you take a deep breath and give your parents a final salute, turning towards the gate and leaving your past miles and miles behind you.

Making your way to your seat and adjusting your bags, you observe the plane and the people boarding it. The plane is nice, you have just enough room to be comfortable and just enough time to mentally prepare yourself for your new life. You glance out the window, thinking about what you are leaving here. 

You grew up in a comfortable suburb a couple of hours outside of Chicago, giving you the ability to travel into the city when you desired. From a young age, you loved the wonders in the heart of Chicago. There were so much diversity, and so many stories to be told. You felt like you belonged, even though you weren’t from the city, you felt like you could find a new home there. 

When you started looking for places to go to college, you knew you wanted to go to school in a big city like the one you had grown up around. Of course, you applied to a bunch of places in Chicago, it would have been best to live close to your parents in a city that you were already familiar with. But, you also applied to schools in other big cities; London, L.A., Miami, and of course, New York. 

You hadn’t really expected to be able to attend any of these schools, they were out of your price range and it was unlikely that you would compare well to the other students applying, being that your intellect was far from the best. So, you were more than surprised when you received a certain letter from the ivy-league  Empire State University in New York City.

You stepped into your house, glad to feel the rush of air conditioning cover your sweaty body. You kicked off your shoes and dropped your backpack by the door, more than ready to lay down for a few hours after a strenuous day of senior year. 

“Mom! I’m home!” you called, already racing up the stairs to your bedroom, you had been thinking about your cozy bed all day.

“Y/N, honey, wait a second!” she called back, “Some letters came for you in the mail. They look like they are from some schools you applied to.”

Excitement jolting your nerves at the thought of your future, you headed back downstairs, towards your mother’s voice in the kitchen. There were three letters addressed to you, one from Northwestern University, and two from Empire State University. Eager, you opened the one from Northwestern first.

“Dear Miss Y/N L/N,” you read aloud with confidence, “we regret to inform you that…” you trailed off, emotions shifting negatively at the contents of the letter.

You didn’t get in. You looked to your mother, who wrapped you in a sympathetic hug, assured you that you would find a school, and that you would go to college somewhere great.

“Why don’t you open the other ones, sweetie?” your mother gently encouraged.

Might as well get it over with, you thought, opening the smaller, more formal looking envelope first.

“Dear Miss Y/N L/N, we are ecstatic to offer you a place in our next class of students. Your qualities are those we admire greatly in incoming students, and…” you read the entire letter aloud, soaking up the praise for your many extracurriculars, SAT scores, and GPA, pausing before the last sentence, “Be sure to keep an eye out for our scholarship package. It comes in a large, green envelope. We look forward to hearing from you soon.”

You looked down to the last piece of mail. The remaining envelope from Empire State was bigger, and it was colored a bright, grassy green. You tore it open as fast as you could, eyes scanning the words on the page.

“Oh my god,” you exclaimed, “Mom, I got a full ride!”

You accepted the offer from ESU the same day you received it.

You had not grown up poor, but your parents were not at a secure enough place to help you pay thousands of dollars towards a college education, so a full ride was a huge deal. Not to mention, ESU was a dream school. They were located in the one of the best parts of New York City and they had a great reputation.

Because of your scholarship, you were placed in a program called “The Past Meets The Future.” Cliche, you had thought, but whatever, they are paying for me to go to school. The program not only paid all college fees you were assigned, it also volunteered a person of importance in New York to mentor you and take you in as an intern of sorts. You didn’t know who you were interning for yet, but you hoped it was someone good, someone who could teach you about the ways of the world in ways that your parents could not.

You were drawn back to the present when a man squeezed into the seat next to you. He was dressed in an expensive looking blazer and he was talking into the newest iPhone. It didn’t have a case. Bold. His hair was cropped in a buzzcut, close to his head, and his eyes looked unbothered and bored. He also seemed irritated, he paid no mind to you as he sat down, uncaring that his briefcase was invading too much of your personal space to be polite.

“I know, honey, I am getting on the flight now. I will be home soon,” he spoke in an annoyed tone, “No. I haven’t spoken to her in years, you know that.”

At his words, you felt a cold sensation in the back of your neck, an indication that his words were not true. He was lying, and not even lying well. 

The flight attendant passed hurriedly down the aisle, stopping to talk to the man next to you with a pretty smile on her face, “Sir, could you please end your phone call? The plane is taking off soon.”

He glances up at her, grunting under his breath, “I will be done in a second.”

Another cold tingle. Another lie.

But, the flight attendant accepted the man’s words and walked further down the aisle, stopping to help people as she went.

The man continued to speak, “Honey, I promise that I didn’t see her. I would never cheat on you, you know that.”

More cold. More lies. 

“Okay. Yes, No… I gotta go, honey,” he says as the flight attendant shoots him a passive aggressive look from across the aisle, “Yup, see you soon. Love you too. Bye.”

The stranger’s claim that he loved the woman he was talking to gave you an intense cold chill, meaning that it was a big lie. He was probably cheating on this woman and acting like he was still in love with her.

He finally ends the call and glances at you, “Never get married, kid,” he says with a laugh.

Disgusted, you frown a little and scoot away from him. This was going to feel like a long flight.

Ever since you could remember, you have been able to tell when people are lying. It’s not that you’re exceptionally good at reading people or anything like that, it’s just a sixth sense you have. You were born with it. You used to think everyone had the same sense, but you figured out that wasn’t the case when you told your own first lie. Your parents had believed it, without a single doubt, and you figured out you an ability that other people didn’t.

A little less than an hour into the flight, you realized how tired you were from packing, saying your goodbyes, and overthinking your future. You gave in to the allure of sleep, hoping things would be easy and exciting once you arrived in New York.

If only you had known the truth then.

—

A/N: Hi everyone! Please forgive the fact that this part was basically just a shit ton of backstory! Actual interactions with characters from the MCU coming up! Love you all and please GIVE ME FEEDBACK and let me know if you want to be tagged! :)

[mdwatchestv]

Westworld 2x04- Death: What Is It Even?

Hiiiii sorry this is so late, I have been clobbered at work to the point where I considered skipping this week all together. But NO I rose early, looked at all the Royal Wedding fashion, and am now sitting down to bring you full Westworld coverage. “Why exert such an effort?” you may justifiably ponder to yourself. Well, because Westworld actually turned out a pretty succinct, thematically coherent episode of television last week.  I have had many conversations about whether or not Westworld is actually a “good” show. Sure, it’s entertaining to watch the result of millions of dollars plastered on screen, every frame looks incredible, and it boasts blockbuster level production value and some of the best working actors. And maybe that’s enough to qualify as “good”, because do we not keep coming back week after week? Are we not entertained? However I have always felt that Westworld could, and probably should, be more than the sum of its expensive parts. Emotional connectivity to characters is low, and while complicated themes are introduced, we barely scratch their surface. What is Westworld really about? Often it seems to merely be about trying to trick the audience with buzz-worthy tricks and twists, about who can deliver the most enigmatic monologue, or put together the flashiest scene of Old West violence. I bring all this up because this episode felt more in tune with what I always wanted this show to be: a solid sci-fi story that had more to offer than just expensive window-dressing. This episode had a strong thematic through-line, and told a compelling vignette story that would have been worthy of its own Black Mirror episode. Instead of a series of seemingly unrelated events for us to try and make sense of, this episode had a natural inter-connectivity that will make it much easier to write about. So thanks for that at least!

We begin with seeing Peter Mullan (what a great episode for him, I bet this is how they pitched him the role) in a futuristic studio space, where he goes about his. Eventually visited by Jimmi Simpson, and they have an affable conversation. It’s unclear at first if Mullan is a prisoner, a patient, or something else entirely, however we soon find out that Peter Mullan is not Peter Mullan at all. Now we understand that Jimmi Simpson’s grand plan, and perhaps Delos’ endgame, is to create a way to let human beings live forever - as hosts. Mullan’s failing health was foreshadowed in previous episodes, and it’s revealed his contingency plan was to abandon his dying body for a new and improved host life. As Jimmi and Mullan converse, everything seems fine, until Mullan begins ‘glitching’ out. The hybrid human/host mind failing to adapt to reality, and turning in on itself.

At the end of the conversation, we see Jimmi exit the room, which is really a glass observation tank in the middle of a lab, and order a redo of the experiment. This is an experiment that has been run many times before, with many different Mullan hosts, but always ending in failure. Apparently a redo involves burning everything down, including host Peter Mullan AND HIS PET FISH! I just don’t understand why the fish had to be burned to death every time. It seems needlessly cruel. Anyway we return to this scene, this conversation between Mullan and his son-in-law again, and again through the episode. As time passes, Jimmi delivers bleaker and bleaker reports from the outside world. First that Mullan’s wife had died, and then later his children as well (RIP Ben Barnes). Although the technology to keep Mullan’s consciousness in tact continues to develop, his connections to the outside world, to his “real” life, continue to fall away.

In the final series of scenes, Mullan is visited by the Man in Black, the man Jimmi Simpson has eventually become. The Man in Black has become introspective about Mullan’s quest for immortality. It seems to him to now to be pointless, why go on living just to live? Mullan’s family is gone, his company forever out his control, what is left for him in the waking world? The Man in Black also tells Mullan that people prefer the memory of the man, to the man himself, and maybe it’s better that way. The Man in Black has lost faith that this project, the melding of humans with hosts, is a good idea. That perhaps human life is better left finite, living forever only brings pain and loss, which the Man in Black knows personally from his wife’s suicide.  The Man in Black abandons the host Mullan to his cell, and instead of terminating the project he simply leaves the Mullan host to its own devices. Allowing it to occupy a purgatory space between man and machine. 

The Man in Black’s storyline in the present day complements his past interactions with Mullan in an interesting way. The Man in Black and Clifton Collins, Jr find themselves in CC Jr’s character’s hometown, where his storyline is complete with a wife and young child. However the homecoming is cut short when MiB and CCJ are ambushed by Jonathan Tucker and his surviving Confederados. Tucker’s crew is after the guns and nitro hidden in the town, which MiB mercilessly gives up in exchange for showing Tucker’s men the way to the mythical ‘Glory’. Thankfully Tucker gets to grandstand a little bit in these scenes, but still feel like this whole enterprise was a waste of Jonathan Tucker. Interestingly CCJ mentions MiB’s deceased daughter to him, a conversation the two of them had had in a storyline that should have been wiped from CCJ’s memory. Curious.

MiB is at first apathetic to Tucker’s torture and killing of the town’s residents. He has seen worse things happen to the denizens of Westworld, and these are just hosts after all. However as Tucker goes after CCJ, having his own wife bring him a shot of nitro, MiB has a change of heart, seemingly related to a flashback about his own life. MiB slaughters Tucker and his men, and saves CCJ’s life, at great personal risk to himself. This is a surprising about face from MiB, who ever since his youthful experience with Dolores, has regarded the hosts as little more than objects. Could he be feeling affection for his companion, or for the host population at large? Perhaps feeling regrets about a past life he failed to save. MiB’s relationship with CCJ has been one of the most consistent of his life, journeying miles and undertaking countless adventures with his host sidekick. After saving the day, MiB is confronted by CCJ’s daughter who speaks to him with Ford’s words. She tells him that one good deed doesn’t erase his past, to which MiB retorts “who said anything about a good deed?” His wry rejoinder suggests he only saved the town because he believed it’s what Ford would have wanted him to do as part of the game.  However I am not so sure this is the truth. The little girl replies that he shouldn’t look toward the future, suggesting the key to this game lies somewhere in MiB’s past. There could be a number of answers to that riddle including Dolores, and a family he all but abandoned in the real world. Although what stock Ford has in that remains to be seen.  

Elsewhere in the park, we follow up with Katja Herbers who has been taken prisoner by the Ghost Nation tribe. One of her fellow prisoners is Luke Hemsworth, answering the question of what happened to him when he was ambushed by the same warriors at the end of season one. Katja is surprisingly resourceful, she speaks the language of the Ghost Nation, and she tells Luke she has no desire to leave the park. They are brought before the Ghost Nation leader, Zahn McClarnon who we previously saw wining and dining Ben Barnes in flashback. Zahn whispers to Luke that “You live only as long as the last person who remembers you,” before he and his fellows mysteriously disappear. This behavior, coupled with the fact the tribe was killing captured hosts while sparing guests, suggests that something is definitely up with this faction. Zahn’s words though also tie into the larger themes of the episode. What is true immortality? Is it the imitation of life, or what we pass down to those after us. How will  MiB be remembered? How does he want to be remembered? What is he passing down?  The answer to at least some of that shortly.

Finally in the episode’s last major storyline Bernard is dragged by Clementine to the outside of a cave. Within the cave he finds Shannon Woodward, who he didn’t kill at the end of last season but rather imprisoned, as well as the entrance to a mysterious lab. I was at first happy to have Shannon Woodward back, but she soon began acting like the worst video game sidekick in the world. “What is that? What’s wrong with you? Where does that go? What’s happening?” Shannon, you KNOW what’s wrong with him! Jeez o pete. Anyway the lab is a place that Bernard seems to remember, and within it they find another scene of slaughter and bloodshed - both of scary blank hosts and human engineers alike. 

Eventually the two of them uncover the purpose of the lab, which is, you guessed it, to fuse humans and hosts and is consequently the home of host Peter Mullan. Mullan is now a horrific figure, vaulting between personalities as well as the terms of his own reality. After a tense fight, Shannon and Bernard decide to put him out his misery, terminating the project once and for all in a fiery burst which makes the dying Mullan appear to be the devil in Hell itself. And was he in Hell? Tormented in a state of consciousness that wasn’t quite life? Is there something worse than being dead? Was he even alive to begin with?

During this sequence Bernard has flashbacks to his previous experiences in the lab. We also come to learn that Bernard is seeing memories out of order. Even the discovery of the lab with Shannon is a memory he is having from a future, present date, meaning everything we are seeing has already happened in the Westworld timeline. More importantly he remembers coming to the lab to create a red ball that holds the human “code” to create another host/human hybrid (ala the doomed Peter Mullan). After taking the red ball he then orders the blank hosts to kill the human engineers, before topping themselves, putting an end to the lab’s operations. Presumably he was acting under Ford’s orders, which raises a very important question - WHO is the human/host the red ball was made to create? Who would Ford (if it is Ford) choose to bring back? I have thoughts.

In the episode’s final scene we see MiB’s party meet up with Katja Herbers who turns out to be...HIS DAUGHTER. Like her father, she too is well-versed in the parks, and approaches them with his same domineering attitude. However she is also currently my best candidate for the secret human/host, here is why. During MiB’s crisis of conscious that ends in his coming to CCJ’s rescue, we see flashbacks to a scene of suicide. We know that MiB’s wife (Peter Mullan’s daughter) killed herself, but were always told that she overdosed (with contention over whether or not it was accidental). However the flashbacks we saw were of blood in an overflowing bathtub, suggesting a much more violent death. Now it’s possible that his wife’s suicide was much different than reported, but I think this is not the death of his wife, but rather that of his daughter. If Ford is pulling the strings of this game, and it was he that ordered Bernard to create the human/host, it would make sense to bring back the daughter MiB failed as part of looking to the past. But again, what’s it to Ford to get such extravagant vengeance on MiB?  

All these storylines wove together to ask and play with the same thematic questions, what is death? What is a life worth living? And finally the question asked by the title of the episode “The Riddle of the Sphinx”: what is man? Westworld this week was coherent, engaging, and thoughtful. And it still got to have all the expensive violence it so dearly loves. Even though Jonathan Tucker didn’t stick around long, at least he got to explode. And that’s the kind of shit actors love. 

Lastly I would like to point out the dialogue exchange of “I’m not in California anymore am I?” “No, you’re not.” Just another little exchange referencing the general location of the park, which I still believe will be a major reveal of the season! This is the hill I am ready to die on. 

Peter Mullan forever,

Martha

[captainsimagines]

Kill ‘Em With Kindness - PART SEVENTEEN

Bucky Barnes x Reader 

You had been detected. You were now on their radar. You are recruited for one mission only. You are trained and put to the test. With your background, everyone realizes it was a mistake recruiting a college student who would soon be faced with the thing that drove her to kill in the first place. 

Warnings: swearing; angst

Word Count: 3,040

A/N: Counting chapters 18, 19, and 20 then NOW there are three parts left. Lol, I’m horrible at math. ENJOY!

PART SEVENTEEN

You really tried. 

You had tried your hardest to go and visit the team at the compound. The first few days were spent in solitude but once a week passed, you had dragged your body out of bed and finally faced the music. The first person you saw was Natasha, who scooped you up in her arms and locked you in her room to chat. For an entire hour, she let you tell her anything you wanted to mention. She never pushed, she never forced you, and she didn’t ask you about Bucky. You internally thanked her. 

Your relationship with Bucky was not over- it wasn’t. You weren’t even on a break. It was almost as if you were in a long-distance relationship and you exchanged minimal text messages and snap chats. That same day, Bucky was the second person you ran into. He had known you were visiting and he’d be lying if his heart wasn’t pounding the whole time you two chatted. You fixed up some coffees even though it was one in the afternoon and all you did was sit in the kitchen and catch up. He let you speak just like Natasha had, drinking in every sweet noise and word that you uttered. Even after the coffee ran out and the sun started to set, the conversation between you two flowed naturally. 

It wasn’t until finals came around and graduation was a week away that you limited your time at the compound. Bucky tried his best visit you, but the fact that you spent most of your time in the library, Bucky was cautious. It was always a public place with you and he had to force himself to attend, dodging the glances from scared college students and whispers that floated in the air. But still, he would sit beside you and watch as you highlighted your textbooks and notes.

When graduation rolled around and your future was laid in front of you, you couldn’t contain your excitement. The whole team promised to attend as long as you scored a private area for them to settle in. It took a lot to convince your chancellor and dean, but once you mentioned your history and the fact that you fought beside the Avengers from time to time, they quickly agreed and urged you to show your team off at the event. You hesitantly agreed, in fear that your past and profession would be made public. 

And as the day came, your team piled in one by one and wished you good luck, Sam whispering in your ear that he hoped you ‘ate shit’ so he could get it on video. The humor was nice and flattering, but the moment Steve stepped into the room without the other super soldier by his side, your smile faltered ever so slightly. Steve’s face was filled with pity as he explained that Bucky, Wanda, and Tony were forced on a last minute mission. 

“Yeah, I completely understand.”

“Y/N, he begged to stay. He really wanted to be here.”

“I understand.”

When your name was called, short flashbacks clouded your vision. Cameras flashed wildly, the press eating up your appearance and name. You blinked away the visions of blood and screams and sculpted that famous smile you were determined to prove was authentic. 

You managed to walk across that stage with pride and courage, blushing momentarily when the remainder of your team made such a ruckus that the whole auditorium suffered second-hand embarrassment. Your new family was present and caring, but you still thought about Lucy while accepting your degree and diploma. 

“You’re going to be the best biological anthropologist in the world, Y/N!”

“Lucy, it’s only my first week of freshman year.”

“That doesn’t matter! My sister is going to be the best anthropologist in the world!” 

You smiled for your picture and gave a small wave, stepping down the stairs and hiding your face behind your hair as the cheers continued. For a moment, your heart swelled at the thought of Bucky picking you up and twirling you around as a congratulatory response. You quickly reminded yourself of his absence but stored the disappointment, making your way back to your seat and waiting for graduation to be over. 

A week after graduation, Bucky arrived home and searched for you. Steve sat his best friend down and explained how you were offered a job in Washington D.C. Before Steve could stop him, Bucky bought the first plane ticket out of New York. 

Running into the lobby of the hotel Mark had bought a room in for you, Bucky searched every face rapidly. After the whole Lucy situation, Mark offered to supply you with everything you needed or desired. Once you had seen the sincerity and hurt in his eyes, you accepted his money but not his family status. He was no longer your family. Money didn’t matter to you so much as it was for a good cause.

Bucky continued to search. It hurt that you didn’t say goodbye or send him a quick text message. It hurt that you didn’t mention moving away from New York. Of course, it confused him that you were offered a job so quickly in a profession that wasn’t looking far and wide but he was certain it had to do with Mark and the history lesson he most likely revealed. Your brief adventures as an Avenger would follow you around for your whole life and allow for many opportunities, but it would still haunt you. 

Bucky wanted to know why you left so quickly. He wanted to know why you didn’t leave your new phone number for him but you left it for Natasha and Steve. He wanted to know why you hadn’t visited Peter like you said you would. He wanted to see you so badly that when you walked through the glass doors after a long day at work, Bucky was on cloud-nine. 

“Bucky...”

“I love you and I am so sorry I couldn’t see you walk up that stage and claim your future.”

“I love you more. It wasn’t your fault you couldn’t make it.”

“Why did you leave without saying goodbye?”

“I wasn’t allowed to message you while you were on the mission. I wanted to tell you.”

“Why are you moving so far away?”

“Bucky-”

“Why are you moving so far away from me?”

And so, you told him why. The reason was simple: it was an amazing opportunity that you wouldn’t dare pass up. You were able to live in Washington D.C, one of the quietest and cleanest places in the U.S while also traveling to New York every other week to work at the Natural History Museum. Bucky tried to understand, trust him, he really tried. 

He tried to understand while you poured him some milk and took out a packet of Oreos. While you were undressing and stepping into your pajamas, he tried to understand. He tried to understand everything while his hands and lips trailed kisses across your entire body for the rest of the night. 

“All I needed was the love you gave.”

“I’m still giving it, Bucky.”

“Miles away, though.”

“You could always come with me.”

“When the time is right, I will.”

When morning rose, a tender kiss and many, many tears illustrated your goodbye. Bucky waited until he left your room and exited the elevator to break down in the middle of the lobby.

______

1 year later. 

Every other week began to turn into every two weeks, and so on. Soon, you were making trips to New York every two months. The rarer your trips became, the rarer it was to see Bucky. Still, you were in love with him the same way you were when you had first laid eyes on him. He could definitely say the same. 

“What do you mean you’re moving me?”

“Y/N, you’re the only one qualified to identify what species of Homo they just found in New York.”

“I don’t even have my master’s degree yet!”

“Are you turning this opportunity down?”

“No, it’s just-”

“We’re moving you to New York. Pack your bags.”

So here you were, sitting in an exact replica of Central Perk like in the show Friends, sipping on coffee and looking at pictures of the million-year old fossil remains you were recruited to identify. Your chest constricted every once in a while because he was so close. You had only been in town for two days, placed in a shitty apartment until further notice, and your new co-workers pissed you off. Washington was a lot nicer, you had to admit. But sitting in the cringe-worthy coffee shop drinking overpriced coffee still brought butterflies to your stomach no matter the occasion.

You were about to order another coffee when the bell at the door dinged and a familiar face strolled in. You smiled and felt your cheeks strain as you saw a familiar red-head, now sporting blonde locks, walk in and order a coffee herself. You quickly packed up the images and your pencils, throwing your backpack over your shoulder before you slowly inched up behind her. You knew she had great hearing, but a year off from killing didn’t stop you from practicing the techniques she had taught you. Tip-toeing behind her, you perfected a flirty and sultry tone, placing your hands on her shoulders and leaning into her ear. 

“They weren’t lying when they said gentlemen prefer blondes.”

Natasha quickly turned her head, her eyes scanning your face for a millisecond before she broke out in giggles. The sound made your heart swell. You two hugged until you heard Natasha’s name being called, signaling her coffee was ready. 

“What are you doing here and why didn’t you tell me?” Natasha demanded, a playful tone still hidden behind her questions. 

“Apparently I’m back for a long time,” you shrugged, sipping your coffee and taking a seat on the large couch in the middle of the shop.

Sitting beside you, Natasha cocked an eyebrow and leaned in. “How long?”

“Until I identify some remains. Could take months, years, who knows?”

You couldn’t help but laugh. You were happy with your response because once again, you weren’t lying. Once you identified whatever you had to identify, it would take years before you had to move back to Washington. Paperwork, textbook releases, press, research, etc. 

“Is that code for ‘you’re back for good’?” 

You bit your lip and smiled largely, nodding rapidly. Natasha squealed and set her coffee down before she tugged you into her chest, squeezing until you couldn’t breathe. 

“Don’t tell anyone I’m back yet, okay? I was planning on surprising you guys,” you admitted. 

“When did you plan on doing that?”

“Once I was settled,” you told her, watching as she rolled her eyes. 

“Are you settled now?”

You laughed, “Not quite.”

Natasha rolled her eyes again, “I’m very good at keeping secrets but I refuse to keep this one. So, do something about it!”

You smiled at her, studying her face while you did. God, you missed everyone.

“Tonight?” you drawled out, smirking. 

“Perfect! I’ll have someone come pick you up from your apartment at 6?”

“Nat, I’m no stranger to the subway system,” you explained, but she quickly shut you up. 

“I know you can protect yourself, but I’m not risking even the slightest bruise. You are to show up in one piece,” she joked, hissing at the big gulp of coffee she took. 

“I have to endure traffic?” you groaned, throwing your head back. 

Natasha slapped your shoulder, “The guy I’m sending knows how to weave through traffic like a pro. C’mon, I want you in one piece. The subway is disgusting.”

You burst out laughing and the surge of excitement you suddenly felt was enough to make you take her offer. The two of you chatted for another hour until she had to run some errands. She expressed her surprise and happiness about seeing you again before she walked away, promising she would chew your ear off once you arrived at the compound tonight. 

You’d be lying if you didn’t jump up and down in your bedroom like a teenage girl once you got home. You even fist bumped, squealed, and clutched at your chest and sang loudly as you thought about tonight. You were going to see Bucky. You were going to see Bucky. 

You fixed your hair and brushed your teeth. Grabbing a coat and your purse, you exited the apartment building and waited out front for your ride. Every limo or taxi that passed didn’t give you any attention and you were worried that Natasha had forgotten all about it. 

You checked your phone every few minutes. 

5:56.

5:59.

6:05.

6:10.

You sighed heavily. Looking down the street for the last time, you shut your eyes and felt your heart fall. They could've been late or they wouldn’t be coming at all. You turned to enter your apartment building when a faint smacking sound caught your attention. 

Thwip. Thwip. Thwip. 

You smiled and your eyes crinkled. Your legs began shaking in anticipation. Your excitement grew once the famous red and blue suit shot around the building. The sound of everyone’s fascination became distant once Spider-Man swooped in and scooped you up, securing you on his left as he swung around the city. 

_____

You promised Peter you would speak with him later and hugged him tightly. You took in his appearance one last time before you entered the compound. Shorter hair, brighter smile, but sad eyes.

Bursting through the doors, you waved at the security guard once before you entered the elevator. Your nerves knocked you back and forth, your throat dry but ready to scream and cheer. 

Stepping off, you glanced both ways of the hallway when your eyes landed on another familiar face. 

“Catch me, Captain!”

Steve almost didn’t. The moment you jumped into his arms and wrapped your legs around his waist, his knees buckled and his eyes widened. Steve chucked and sighed happily, setting you down and smiling as he took in your appearance. 

“I didn’t know you were in the city!” Steve exclaimed, pulling you in for another hug. 

“I’m back for good, Steve. I’m back for good,” you stated, your words slightly mumbled because of his chest. 

“That’s amazing. I know a certain someone who’s dying to see you,” Steve smiled. 

Your eyes watered for a moment but you swallowed them. You were so damn excited to see Bucky. 

“I’d love to stay and chat but I have to run into someone else’s arms right now,” you chuckled, wiping your eyes. 

“He’s in his room. I’d knock before you enter,” Steve laughed, pushing at your shoulder. 

“Nothing I haven’t seen before.”

Steve groaned and his face shriveled up. The sight caused you to laugh louder, attracting the attention Tony and Sam. You said goodbye to Steve and walked towards the other men, extending your arms out and twirling for effect. 

Tony pulled you in for a tight hug. He let you go and began patting you down. 

“You good? Parker didn’t drop you on the way here, did he?”

“No, he didn’t.” You hugged Sam and also promised you would catch up soon. They understood, obviously, that you had someone to see. 

“Y/N?” 

You whipped your head around and greeted Bruce. The amount of people that were suddenly appearing drawled out, but you weren’t complaining. Pretty soon you had greeted Wanda, Vision, Thor, and Clint, each of them asking about D.C. and what exactly you were doing back. 

You hurried down the hallways and punched in the code for your old room, praying that it remained the same. The door clicked and opened and you quickly fist bumped before you entered. You were going to make this as cute and hopeless romantic-y as possible. 

Pressing your forehead against the wall and taking a deep breath, you tapped out your well-prepared, two word message. 

“-- .. ... ... / -- . ..--..“ Miss me?

All you could hear was his heavy body stumble out of bed and land on the tile floor, a small grunt and shriek accompanying the fall. Bucky quickly pulled on some sweat pants and rubbed his tired eyes, throwing open his bedroom door and rushing into your room. You stood there, leaning on the wall you had previously tapped on with your arms crossed and an eyebrow raised. 

Bucky choked on a sob and that made you lose your ‘cool’ demeanor. You finally allowed yourself to cry as well, rushing up to Bucky and pulling him into your trembling body. You both clutched at whatever you could- your leather jacket, his hips, your hair, his cheeks, anything.

“You’re back,” Bucky sobbed, kissing every inch of your face. “You’re back.”

“I’m back for good,” you choked out. The two of you glanced at each other, silently asking the other if it was okay to close the space in between. Grasping his face, you glanced at his lips once before you stood on your tippy-toes and gave him a tiny kiss. Pulling back, the look in his eyes was all you needed before you placed a long and overdue kiss on his perfectly chapped lips. “I promise.“

Bucky held onto you tighter, if that was even possible, and savored the familiar taste of your plump lips. 

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” Bucky said, eyes flickering over yours. He wasn’t saying it to ruin the moment or to start a fight. It was a plea, one that you were going to oblige.

“I swear to you- I’m not going anywhere,” you said, pecking him on the lips a few times before pulling away again. “I promise.“

“You’re staying?“

You chuckled and nodded, “If my assumption of Homo Neanderthal is wrong, then I’m going to be here for a while.“

Pausing and scrunching your eyebrows in confusion, you looked up at Bucky. “Did you just smoke?“

Bucky’s mouth fell open but no words came out, prompting him to shut it. You shook your head but laughed.

“It was a bad habit I had in the 40′s,” Bucky admitted. “Guess I still got it.“

“It’s gross,” you chuckled. “Attractive, but gross.”

Bucky smiled brightly and kissed you a thousand more times. You were home, and his soul was replenished with the joy he had grown to love ever since you walked into his life and pieced it back together. The both of you remained broken, but the invisible tape and stitches that held every piece together allowed for the two of you to dwell in every joyful feeling. 

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[emhoardsbooks]

behind the curtains

Remus and Sirius don’t know what’s developing between them. It takes sharing a bed to set them down the path of understanding what their feelings really are.

A/N: for @saladtsar, you’re amazing and i’m sorry this took forever to write

i.

They were sixteen the first night Sirius crawled into his bed. Remus had slept with him before, but James and Peter had been there too. The way their limbs would tangle on the floor beside the fire at the Potter house as they try to stay up late scheming and eventually fall asleep was one of Remus’ favorite things. But this already felt different than that and Remus tried really hard to convince himself that it was fine.

Sirius rested his head on his chest. “Did I wake you?”

“Nah, s’fine,” he murmured in return. He remained perfectly still, fighting the urge to raise a hand and gently run his fingers through his friend’s hair.

“Remus?”

“Yes?”

“I don’t want to leave.”

Remus didn’t have to ask what he meant. Their fifth year was finally over. Tomorrow they would all get back on the trains and go home for the summer. Remus’ chest had been aching all week at the thought of being separated from his friends. At the thought of having to spend the summer moons in the basement of his home instead of with them. James had promised they would make it work so that at least one of them could spend every moon with him. Guilt gripped him as he realized he had spent so much time worried that his friends wouldn’t really be able to help him that he had forgotten about what they might need too.

“It’ll be okay.” This time he pulled Sirius closer to him. He could feel the other boy’s heart pounding and told himself it was nerves over the return home. It couldn’t be for the same reason his own was beating a mile a minute.

ii.

“It wasn’t okay,” Sirius said after crawling into Remus’ bed on the first night they returned to Hogwarts the following year. Part of him was angry with Remus and he didn’t quite understand why. After all, his friend had only been trying to comfort him that night. He couldn’t make any promises. Even Sirius could never guarantee how life would be when he went home.

“But it is now. It’s okay because you have the Potters now,” Remus rolled onto his side so that they faced each other.

Sirius wondered if he believed him. Was it all really going to be okay now? He thought back to the platform when Euphemia tried to hug him goodbye and he had flinched away from her touch. She smiled but he had seen the hurt in her eyes when he did that and he had been frightened the whole day that perhaps they would write him off after the incident. Maybe they would decide that he was too ungrateful. Too damaged for them.

“Hey,” Remus said quietly. “You’re safe. You’re home now.”

Sirius looked at him, his eyes finally adjusted to the dark. He noticed that Remus had stubble coming in now but behind it there was a new scar along the left side of his jaw. Sirius suddenly felt guilty that he had taken up so much of James’ time with his mess this summer that only Peter had been able to help Remus during the full moons. Before he could really understand why he was doing it and what it might mean, Sirius reached out and traced the scar with his thumb.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured. He couldn’t quite tell in the dark but it felt a lot like Remus rolled his eyes at him.

“Go to sleep Sirius.”

When he woke up, Remus was already awake and looking at him, a tired smile on his face. It took a minute for Sirius to realize that his hand had drifted during the night from Remus’ face to his waist. He hurriedly snatched it away. As he made his way back to his own bed before James and Peter could wake up and see where he had spent the night, Sirius tried not to think about the hurt look that flashed across Remus’ face when he had left. He couldn’t think about it. He told himself he had imagined it. There was no way Remus could have wanted him to stay like that. It was far closer than two friends should be, no matter how badly Sirius longed for more.

iii.

Remus was convinced Sirius would never come back to his bed after the morning he woke up in his arms. He spent three weeks lying in bed each night and listening for Sirius’ distinctive snoring to start, signaling that he’d be sleeping alone that night. He tried to tell himself that it was unhealthy, longing for a friend the way he was, but he couldn’t help it. The tightening in his chest was inescapable whenever he thought of Sirius. His feelings for his friend were becoming a problem that he couldn’t ignore.

But then the Snape disaster happened and Remus was glad that Sirius hadn’t been visiting him at night. He had a hunch it would have made the betrayal feel even worse. So he pushed his feelings into a dark corner and ignored Sirius as much as he could. It wasn’t easy. The desire was still there and the autumn nights just kept getting colder, which he was especially aware of now that he spent them alone.

Almost five weeks after the incident, Remus heard his bed curtains rustle. He almost couldn’t believe his eyes as Sirius slipped in and sat tentatively by his side. Neither of them said a thing so he figured he might as well be the first. “Get the fuck off my bed.”

“Remus, please,” Sirius started. Remus made to shove him, but he was still lying down and Sirius was above him so the angle made the gesture weak. Almost as weak as his will to actually make Sirius leave.

“Say what you came to say then.” He shifted into a seated position. If Sirius was going to defend himself, Remus was going to be eye level with him.

“I’m sorry for being a prat. What I did was wrong and I’m sorry. Please give me another chance.” Sirius hesitated and stared at his hands for a long moment before reaching out and gripping Remus’ hands with his and tugging him a little closer. Slowly, Sirius touched his forehead to his. Remus briefly wondered if he was going to kiss him. He tried to remain angry, but the thought of kissing Sirius suddenly melted away all the resistance that was left.

“I miss you,” Sirius said before letting him go just as suddenly and slipping out. Through the small crack left in the curtains Remus saw Sirius take a deep breath and wipe his nose on his sleeve before climbing back into his own bed.

iv.

The first time Remus crawled into his bed, Sirius had just turned seventeen.

“Happy birthday,” Remus said as he wrapped his arms around him and nuzzled his face into the crook of Sirius’ neck. Early morning light filtered through the bed curtains and Sirius wondered what he had done to deserve this. Only two days ago he had been begging Remus for forgiveness and here the man was, climbing into bed with him.

“Does this mean I’m-“

“Not exactly.” Remus pulled away from him and Sirius saw red start to creep up his friend’s neck. He imagined he looked about the same though. “But I miss you too.”

Sirius smiled and pulled him closer. He decided then that this was the best birthday present he could ask for. He had his friend back. His Remus. As they dozed in and out of sleep, enjoying the warm Saturday morning light, Sirius swore to himself that he’d never do anything to fuck this up.

He didn’t know what this was yet, only that it felt right when it was with Remus and he couldn’t lose it again.

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