#Their best trait is their trusting nature but it's also their biggest weakness

[ghostlyghosti]

“All the world will be your enemy, Prince with a Thousand Enemies, and whenever they catch you, they will kill you. But first they must catch you, digger, listener, runner, prince with the swift warning. Be cunning and full of tricks and your people shall never be destroyed.”

― Richard Adams, Watership Down Wanted to play with style a bit, continuing that line of thought with Oswald in such a world as Amaranthine. Kept thinking of this quote while I was designing them.

[angstydisaster02]

Analysis of Bakugo and Izuku’s relationship - a thread written by a depressed bkdk with a brainriot

The analysis of bakugo and izuku’s relationship and  how their complexity made them unique 

CW : English isn’t my first language, I'm sorry for the mistakes and enjoy !

It’s crazy how katsuki and Izuku are caring about each other in their way. They don’t need to say things explicitly, their relationship is only based on trust and gets stronger every time with simple things such as actions…because actions mean more the words.

Their biggest fear is to lose each other and they already faced it, twice

They know how it feels to lose someone we care and that explains why katsuki never left izuku’s side since he went back to UA. The only moment where he has his eyes off Izuku is gone again

Katsuki indescribably completes Izuku. He’s not the main character we used to see everywhere, he’s insecure, he’s blaming himself for something he couldn’t predict and he’s secretly caring about his childhood friend. More than that, in the light novel (number 6: cherry blossoms ) I quote: “Deku was trying to show strength or weakness, he just reached out to him since he was simply worried. Like in the past and the present. Deku has a presence that Bakugou doesn't understand, which frustrates him.”

This also completes the fact that Izuku and katsuki are the wonder duo. I’m not talking here about the hero aspect (with the agency and stuff like that) I’m talking about feelings here. Romantic or Platonic we can all say that they both need each other to survive, they grew up together, know everything about each other, saw each other’s weaknesses without being judged and when the other is gone....they become ready to face everything just to find the other.

You don’t believe me ?

Remember this time when katsuki get kidnapped by LOV and Izuku tried everything to have katsuki’s back, when he asked to Kirishima because he knew and was scared that katsuki will reject him. (A/N : this is so angsty Horikoshi why do you hate us, let them be happy please) 

Remember this time when Izuku left everyone suddenly in chapter 306 when he write a letter to everyone and katsuki was the one to say “quote”. He was also the first one to find him when Izuku was about to give up, the first one to give him this year lumineux that vigilant deku didn’t have since many chapters

Remenber this time (recently) when katsuki and Izuku are ready to fight against villains for the war, when Katsuki said “deku” and Izuku answered “I know”, when the only moment the blond look away Izuku was taken from him again.

The importance and this is why Horikoshi is original is because it’s not like the stuff we used to see.

 The thing that made these moments more significant was that they couldn’t be saved each other, even if they tried their best it was too late. If they could stop that they’ll do it immediately, not thinking about the consequences and only thinking about saving the other first.

Think about that, another thing that makes their relationship stronger is the idea that they have this strange feeling, they couldn’t name it but it’s so strong and almost natural for them as if it was always here. 

Once again think about the light novel :

“Deku has a presence that Bakugou doesn't understand”

“Deku knew well that he and Kacchan are polar opposites. But even so, Deku couldn't imagine a world in which Kacchan doesn't exist. ”— Midoriya Izuku, Chapter 4 of MHA Light Novel "Celebrations"

Another aspect is how they care about each other in their ways.

 Katuski is someone that keeps everything inside him until this explodes and Izuku doesn’t even hesitate to share his thoughts. It’s the opposite and yet this work fits perfectly well, the manga showed us these moments :

- "He’s dead meat if he thinks he can die on me."

- "and without thinking, my body moved on its own"

- "you look like you needed saving"

- “I could admire all might from a distance, but you were right there. This amazing person in my life !”

- "To the same extent of all your unpleasant traits, your sheer amazingness was so brilliant to me... it was blinding!"

-"Give him back!"

""Give him back"? What an odd thing to say. Bakugou doesn't *belong* to anyone."

"Give him back!!"

- "The battle might have been pointless. Win or lose... maybe it didn't really matter. But at that moment. I knew I had to fight. Because the only one who understood what Kacchan was feeling... was me."

- "Don't come, Deku!"

- “I never imagined I’d have All Might watching out for me. Or that the day would come when Kacchan and I could have a normal-ish conversation. I… I’m so blessed.”— Chapter 257

“As much as I hate to admit it, I have my complete trust in deku.. “ -  chapter 284

It can be surprising but they never left the other and never thought of that once. Even when he was separated, this special link was still here, in the shadows when the other is not looking the other never left his eyes on him, never

- light novel cherry blossoms : "It might come off as a surprise, but Kacchan never received a love confession"

- -light novel cherry blossoms : after finishing their prayers, deku looked at kacchan, "what did you wish for?"

"shut up." even with kacchan's sulking expression seen from the side, deku felt that they had wished for the same thing.

- “Keep your eyes on me,”

-“I’m worried about him. And you are too.”

Bakudeku is also a point of forgiveness. 

Yes their past and relationship wasn’t the best and wasn’t healthy, especially in middle school but Izuku never hated him, he knows that katsuki was just lost with himself (katsuki said in chapter 284 that he bullied Izuku because he was scared of his weaknesses, he owned Izuku was stronger than him since the beginning). Times heals things, their relationship improved from the time where Izuku decided to confess the OFA secret to him, something he never shared and all of that because he was scared to loose him/ was angry for a misunderstanding. Izuku didn’t’ want to lose their mutual trust and katsuki learned how to love accept himself and the important meaning of chapter 322 is here to prove it.

Izuku was the one to forgive and katsuki was the one to apologize. 

Even if their classmates were around them it was their moment, nothing mattered except both of them and the powerful meaning of those words, it’s not something that Horikoshi wrote because he wanted to please fans not. He wrote it because this showed the improvement of this character, their relationship and how can they help each other to be a better version of themselves.

But the last point : this is also a fight of internalize thought

It’s obvious that communication isn’t their thing and yet this is why, once again their actions are stronger than words, why fights are always the best way to let everything out from both of them, positive as negative. It’s a long and slow fight to internalize strong thoughts, it takes time to get off of them and that’s why the importance to have someone by his side is highlighted. Take a minute to think: what could’ve become katsuki if izuku left him if he was alone and trying to deal with his old demons? 

Yes you’re right, he would probably be trying to slowly destroy himself little by little, this constant need to be reassured, to keep everything for themself even if All might be the one to say it for him but yes, katsuki cares for him and always cared. He just realized it recently (or years ago, we don’t know yet and we’re still waiting for deku vs kacchan 3/ their reunion and listen to everything katsuki has to say to him because they’re a lot-) it’s new for him and yes, maybe he can be helped by his squad and his friends but it’s not the same thing, you can’t tell that the squad has the same relationship and link to him as izuku and he shared their whole life. 

Katsuki is just scared, scared of the truth and himself. Scared to hurt izuku again. 

Realizing his mistakes and how farthing could’ve been if izuku would have listened to him (extra: Bakugo’s voice actor said once that if izuku would have jumped katsuki will do anything to stop him). I’m not gonna make a whole psychologist analysis about this character (because it’s for another post and it’s interesting to see how deep his chapter is). They all keep everything for themself until deku vs Kacchan 2, I'm not telling you anything new if I tell you that this fight changed their relationship because as bkdks or simple fans we immediately got it with the way they’ve turned. 

- "From kindergarten to elementary school, to middle school and high school. The two of us have been together as long as I can remember, and yet... we've never exposed our true feelings and talked things out... not even once"=  not even once here means that their relationship was blocked and couldn’t improve until one of them explodes, there was so much thing to deal and yet the only thing that could help them was their fight. Knowing everything they’ve been through and how each of them feels things in a different way (the opposite I want to say-) is something I've never seen in any manga I've read or anime I've seen, I have to admit it Horikoshi you’ve made a great job with this trope. 

- " I've tried to act all superior by rejecting you, but I kept losing that fight "= This means everything.

Katsuki tried to reject his fear, the possibilities to face the reality but in the end it was too staring that he couldn’t deny it and finally accepted it. It’s something he can’t win, getting separate or trying to be someone you’re not is useless when the link and everything you’ve created with this person is stringer through the years 

- “I chased after you my entire life” = Izuku simply admitted his real goal.

Being started from katsuki was never an option and the way he always admired him, how he was so glad when both of them could speak normally, how he trust katsuki with his life and he was ready to give One for all to him because it was the only way to save everyone. At this moment in Heroes Rising, it was something natural for him, for them, and holding hands is so symbolic in this manga that this adds something and the complex that katsuki always wanted to reach izuku’s hands but never did because he was scared of himself and regretted it. 

And please don’t talk about the “de-Izuku”  thing / when katsuki called “izuku”  or I'm gonna cry and write a whole post about why they’re soulmates 

----

Thanks for reading and take care of yourself <3

This was inspired by this tweet and the replies :) 

https://twitter.com/katsuuzu/status/1508035169894031364?s=21

[raz-b-rose]

Tmnt 2k3 character study: Leo

Leo is not a stick in the mud.

Leo is simply acting as an older sibling that has taken on a self-placed responsibility. I should know, I'm the oldest of 7. So this will be a little self reflective as well, because I’ve always seen so much of myself in Leo I cringe lol. 

As the oldest (self-imposed or not), Leo feels this pressure to help Splinter with the boys. He wants to make things easier for Splinter by taking some of the responsibility off his shoulders. If his brothers are behaving through his involvement, then Splinter can relax. Or at least thats the hopeful mindset. 

As he grows older, he gets more bossy and mildly aggressive (ie annoyed) because his brothers actions start to affect what he wants to do, how he thinks things should go, and basically mess up all these unspoken plans he has. 

Raph being one more likely to act on what he’s feeling in the moment and Leo one to more carefully consider and be as responsible as possible can cause some strife between them. However, Leo has a really good read on his brothers and their ticks. He knows what he needs to say and do to reassure and motivate them.

Since he took on this responsibility so young, his brothers follow his lead, trusting in his level head and quick thinking, having grown up with it as well, it makes all of their roles second nature. Raph takes on almost a-second-in-command type role but he functions more as a shield than additional leadership, while Donnie is actually that second voice of reason and Mikey is the flexible rear.

During their final battle with the Shredder, we see Leo take it far more personally than the others, even Splinter. That self imposed standard of perfection and the weight of his families wellbeing placed on his shoulders by no one but himself takes a a heavy toll after their almost self sacrifice to rid the world of the Shredder. 

He ends up places all the blame on himself, this affecting his mood, mental and physical rest and relationships. He gets tunnel vison on a  good thing turning it toxic. He starts to push what was once his internal expectations onto his brothers. His intensity mixed with his self hatred and frustration causes him to lash out constantly, then during training with Splinter. 

When Usagi comes to visit, someone who has always understood him where his brothers didn’t always, we see the true extent of his inner battle. He blinds himself to his unhealthy habits until the Ancient ones unconventional approach helps him to calm down and learn true humility.

Up to this point, you could feel his naivety (City at War) with fights and their enemies (Kari, Zixx, Hun, but the biggest surprise is Bishop) always hoping for the best and trying to honorably win each fight and give some dignity to their enemies, and even their own, defeats. As we all know and love he lives his life by the Bushido code. (Justice, courage, compassion, respect, integrity, honor, loyalty and self- control.)

He strives to give each person these actions and live by these attributes. However you can see where he loses his grip on his values during his growing period. It is after his return that you can see him find a serenity, and reaffirm his core values in the Bushido Code. He has learned valuable lessons and grown into himself. (One of my more favorite coming of age plots)

His dedication to ninjutsu comes off as ridged and boring, however that level of dedication for so long speaks volumes to his drive and and strength of will. The ability to work hard for so long has become enjoyable for him. Sharing his knowledge and values brings him great joy. Being kind and giving people the opportunity to prove his initial perceptions wrong (his dark clone) is one of his best traits and certainty not the weakness Raph and Don can see it as. Mikey almost shares the sentiment but he also doesn't enjoy getting thrown around too often, so hes more cautious to being “bitten twice”. 

Also remember he’s still a teenager (albeit a very serious and ninja nerd teenager) so he does enjoy video games and sports with his brothers (Like “training” exercises being tag, hide and seek, water balloons). He especially enjoys his time with Splinter, that can turn into meditation but still time with his dad. Time that becomes even more special after his lack of efficient mediation during his “angst” period. (Y’all really like the angsty boys lol) 

We get to see Leo grow through all 7 season, taking hold of what was once a self-placed responsibility but soon turned into an agreed upon role with his family. He learns that growth never stops, mistakes are simply learning moments, and he learns to trust in his brothers skills, ability to defend themselves and each other, know that it takes more than just his efforts to keep them whole. (the power of family!) 

He’s cheesy (his one liners feeling so out of place with his normal serious demeanor), he’s a respectful young man and truly talented in his ninjutsu. A true leader. 

[smhalltheurlsaretaken]

Sorry but what exactly is up with the bad batch arc? I've heard people talk about the issues with echo's white skin but I haven't heard that many bad things about the arc itself? (ik you said you don't want to be negative on your blog so I would absolutely understand if you didn't answer this ask)

Oooooooooooh boy. Well I just had a long, long, LONG rant about it with someone, but I guess I’ve got an excuse to put all of my points onto a post and talk about it publicly now that I got an ask x) I’ll keep it under the cut so I don’t throw my salt in people’s face. I really don’t want to upset people who love that arc - it has redeeming qualities, but overall it pisses me off so much for so many reasons. So here:

The first issue is obviously two members of the Bad Batch (minus Echo) being being just about the furthest thing from maori no matter how much you're willing to stretch it. 

Like... yeah, nah. I wouldn’t even accept Crosshair and Tech (grey haired guy and goggles guy) as Jango’s natural biological sons, nevermind as his clones. 

The problem is that their different appearances are justified by them being described simply as clones with desirable mutations (i.e superpowers). But why the hell did the creators have to change their appearances for that to be a thing? How does that correlate? Sure, the concept of clones with different faces is interesting, except... no, no it’s not, and I’m gonna rant about it in a few secs. But basically it's like they thought giving them different faces would be a good substitute for having different personalities (another thing I’ll come back to). If they really wanted to have buff clones with super eyesight or whatnot they could have just done that, without making them lose what little melanin the lighting of the show had allowed the other Clones to keep. 

But the gigantic problem is... showing that the "regular" clones have VERY distinct identities despite their identical faces has been one of the themes of the show from episode 1. Literally, the first episode of TCW has Yoda taking time out of a mission with galactic stakes to tell the three clones he’s with (who tell him they’re all the same because they have the same faces) that they’re wrong, and that they’re very different in the Force, that their appearance doesn’t matter, that they’re all equally unique and important, and he lists all of their individual skills, strengths and weaknesses. 

And it’s not just me being bothered by that, here’s a post by @cacodaemonia​ saying the same thing. 

Introducing the Bad Batch as "unique" clones who are "different" and "not like their brothers" because they have different faces and skills completely breaks that theme of the show!! Because the entire point of the Clones in TCW is that their faces don't matter, they ARE unique! 

(Plus the Bad Batch’s character designs are so cliche and uninspired it’s just laughable to try and justify bleaching their freaking skin for the sake of visual diversity. 

This took like 10 seconds. I found the first guy by literally googling “soldier movies,” and the other two are Team Fortress characters that look a LOT like Wrecker and Crosshair. One is “Heavy” and one is “Sniper” lmao.

And behold:

The above picture is a Team Fortress reference that I found just by looking up “bad batch clone wars,” so I’m not the only person who sees it.) 

And the batchers don't even have personalities to justify calling them unique! They have no character traits beyond the most cliché american soldier tropes ever. We have a token loner sniper, a token "smart tech guy" who knows everything from xenoanthropology to biology to Separatist computers to sound waves to encryption, a token Badass Brooding Leader and a token “dumb muscle guy.”

I dare anyone to find more about their personalities than this: - Crosshair is the perpetually grumpy sniper who looks down on "regs,” - Wrecker likes to blow up stuff and doesn't like heights, - Hunter is the leader and is friends with Cody, - Tech is smart doesn't trust Echo. 

That’s it, that’s literally it. Four episodes about them and that's all we get. These character tropes are literally the least inventive ever. FFS, Hunter even has a freaking KNIFE! Not a vibroblade, mind you, like in kriffing Star Wars. A knife. Against metal droids. Why. They couldn’t make this more of an american-war-movies cliché fest if they tried. (And sure, he can feel electromagnetic waves so maybe it does make sense for him not to carry a vibroblade and maybe this is nitpicking, but he looks like a ripoff of a Predator character and it pisses me off).

Another thing is that when you introduce characters you have to make them likable - and them despising the normal Clones is a terrible way to do that! And they don't even grow from that because at the end of the 4 episodes arc they just see Rex as not bad "for a reg" and they see Echo as no longer a reg, and both of these things are infuriating! 

The worst thing imo is that Echo then becomes part of them (and irreparably loses his melanin in the process, uuuuuuuuugh) when there is nothing to justify this. 

The dialogue goes like this: 

ECHO: You coming? TECH: Not really our thing. CROSSHAIR: Accolades. WRECKER: Yeah, we're just in it for the thrill. Yo! HUNTER: You sure it's your thing? ECHO: What do you mean? HUNTER: Your path is different. Like ours. If you ever feel like you don't fit in with them, well, find us. (they leave) REX: Those are some of the finest troopers I've ever fought alongside. Echo. You and I go way back. If that's where you feel your place is, then that's where you belong.

Echo doesn't feel like he belongs anymore, okay, but why would he feel like he belongs with the assholes who up to the last five minutes of the mission thought he was probably a traitor, and also verbally expressed that he was not worth saving?? In all of the arc, Echo himself never voices that he feels he’s not ‘like the other Clones’ anymore and that he feels it’s a problem. His relationship with Rex immediately picks up where they left things off - the first thing he does upon being lucid again for the first in over a year is cracking a joke for Rex’s benefit. 

Why would Echo feel like he doesn’t belong in the 501st anymore, when we don't even see him interacting with anyone from his past life except for Rex and Anakin (who are both extremely very supportive of him)?? If there had been one scene of a “regular” Clone (ugh) looking at him with horror and disgust or something, or just Kix and Jesse cracking jokes with Echo awkwardly standing by the side not getting it, I could forgive the show trying to make it feel like he has an identity crisis, but this was so shallow!

The only thing that makes Echo and the Bad Batch’s experiences similar is that they *look* different. It’s so against the themes of the Clones I’m seething just from thinking about it. And what the hell? Echo ALREADY didn’t fit in. That was the WHOLE POINT of Domino Squad. They didn’t fit in because they thought they were better than anyone else because they had trouble getting along with their brothers, so obviously it had to be their brothers’ fault (ahem, Bad Batch?). And you know what happened? Domino Squad OVERCAME that. And Echo and Fives still didn’t “fit in” because their personalities were unique and creative, and they became ARC Troopers because Cody, Rex and the Jedi VALUED THEM FOR PRECISELY THAT. Echo having new and unique skills and a modified appearance is the most bs justification for him feeling like he doesn’t belong!! 

And that brings me to my biggest issue: Rex telling Echo the bad batch are some of the best troopers he's ever met. I'm sorry, based on WHAT? What Rex values above everything is loyalty and brotherhood, and the Bad Batch DOESN'T DISPLAY ANY OF THAT. We never see them even expressing concern for each other! Wrecker treats saving Cody’s life like a trivial issue, because it’s just ‘sO eAsY’ for him, and beyond that we never see them supporting each other or genuinely expressing affection for each other beyond boasting about each other’s skills... 

Sure they can destroy a lot of droids, but they're dismissive of Rex's brothers, and the entire Umbara arc and this arc showed what he thought of that. They keep saying things like "not bad for a reg,” don't show any trust in Rex's skills or experience (even though they can't have been fighting in the war for more than a year and a half when he’s been there from the beginning, and he outranks all of them), they are essentially guerilla fighters which has only minimal value in a galactic war, and they never grow beyond their views of what regs are, and can and can’t do. 

None of that should make them good troopers in Rex's book. Going back to Echo not fitting in, remember who taught the Domino Squad the importance of seeing all of your brothers as important and equally valuable? Shaak Ti, true, but more importantly? 99! The guy the Bad Batch are named after. He did have value and was important and was no less of a trooper than his brothers, even though his mutations made him LESS powerful, not more. (And btw, just from a writing standpoint, the batchers don’t have any weaknesses, which is shit.) Cody and Rex mourned 99 as a true soldier even though it wasn’t his sacrifice that brought them victory (which would have implied that he had value as a soldier and a brother because he saved them, as opposed to him having that value intrinsically), because that’s what a fine trooper is to them. A BROTHER first a foremost, someone altruistic, brave and loyal. The Bad Batch distort the meaning of 99's character with their behavior. They’re not altruistic, their bravery is mitigated by the fact that they’re freaking invincible, so of course they take risks (again, see Wrecker saving Cody without a care because it’s easy to him, as opposed to Rex being ready to run into a burning ship about to explode because his brother is in there, and having to be physically dragged away). The Bad Batch denigrate their brothers for being less skilled, thinking their own abilities make them unique somehow, when 99 could barely fight and was still the one who taught Hevy about being a good soldier. 

And again the batchers don't grow from that. Which is all the more frustrating because the original ending didn’t have Echo joining them, from what I remember of the unfinished episodes, and the arc actually ended with them receiving their medals in front of regular troopers who cheer for them, as opposed to them smugly ostracizing themselves and dismissing the ceremony as trivial and meaningless. (original ending vs s7 ending: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ab1eCfzKamw) 

It’s so annoying. Do you know what characters never had an entire arc dedicated to them and still have far more personality and more interesting designs and more symbolic weight?? 

Jesse, for starters. Kix. Dogma. Cut. Slick. Keeli. Ponds. Rys, Jek and Thire. Commander Doom. Commander Fox. Wolffe. Hevy. Hardcase. 

Cody was a more interesting character just in his RotS appearances. 

Waxer and Boil had one episode about them and then only two cameos plus Waxer’s death, and they’re still some of the most memorable, beloved Clones of the whole show. And Boil was grouchy and prejudiced like Crosshair, but he has so much growth that we could make a whole thread about it. 

I'd say the last problem with the Bad Batch is that it has cash grabbing money hungry vibes. Different faces are more marketable, cliché personalities are more toy-friendly, and it's basically a big ad for the Bad Batch series. And they throw Echo in the Batch at the end for bs reasons (again, it wasn’t in the original ep from what I remember) and they tease Cody in the show to make sure fans will still watch even if they notice the lack of soul. And less melanin sells more at Disney apparently. 

So that’s my whole pissed rant. 

[draceempressa]

I wanna tackle about Leona now. While I do like how he starts showing some hints of care towards others (mainly Ruggie) while still maintaining his usual lion nature, for me, Leona is still on that road of recovery cause all those years he'd gone through (healing for a 20 year old is hard but not impossible) but at least he's starting to take a few steps.

Leona is the only Overblot boy so far who has not much lore in him like, even if I know he's a depressed lion with inferiority/superiority complex, I still don't know how he'd become like this nor we yet to know what's his relationship with his family. He seems distant to them but I can tell he still cares.

IDK his backstory didn't seem to give any clarity of how he end up the way he was in Pre OB. The servants say he's hard to please and his magic is terrifying, but that's not enough cause it's their opinion, but what's Leona's own logical reason for him to be given that reputation cause we never know what he's like when he's a little more younger like in Cheka's age.

From what can understand, Leona's pride is his biggest flaw, he always comes out in that usual lion behavior he has but that's his way to hide his pain for he sees emotions and vulnerability as a weakness we waits for the time to be fully alone to wallow up to his depression again and again. (IDK if there will come the time Leona will show his vulnerable side like he did when he Overblots) 

This is just me trying to understand Leona's character more. I'm giving myself a What if scenario cause he's the biggest "Would he" character on my list. 

Like, would he go far for someone he cares about, especially his own family? 

Would he able to fulfill his place in the Circle of Life? 

Would he be ready to face his own past and learn something from it? 

(Leona is also similar to Simba in a way how these 2 are avoiding their past and responsibilities.) 

I hope you're not gonna find this a bit too much. 

------------------------------------------------------------------

The thing about Leona is that fr whatever reason, while he is not all that fleshed in main story, key to fleshing him was, of all things. his bday personal story.

There it was explained, that a big part of his superority inferiority complex was because people (idk including his parents or not, he hardly mentioned his parents) constantly comparing him with farena. And farena is like, 10 years older than him. So imagine comparing a 26 yo with the 16 yo. Clearly not a fair comparison, regardless how talented the other one is. They are already in different generation, it's far from fair.

While his fear (not respect I remind you, fear) about women is indeed based on irl lion behavior, his superiority inferiority complex is a very human thing. Trust me, I know. I lived with people with those traits, i know where they come from and how human it is to have superiority inferiority complex.

The same personal story also say, as part of the inferiority part of him, he wished to stay away from Farena's family thinking they're already happy , that they're better off without him, that he is unworthy of their love.

I would not say what Leona have as pride, because as I say before, self love is part of pride, to love and appreciate yourself for who you are, to be proud for being yourself. While Vil and Malleus clearly have pride, Leona doesn't. What he have is that superiority inferiority complex. The inferiority part is because he feels unworthy because he is not the best, the superiority complex is that how he keep telling himself he is still worthy for he is still better than some people out there. Pride isn't about comparison about yourself with others, that's arrogance. He is arrogant, he loves to step on others but not prideful as he doesn't love himself either, quite the opposite in fact , as he really have low self esteem. it's not pride, it's not leona who thinks vulnerabiity and emotions is weakness, it's vil. Leona is so openly depressed, most of time he's honest with his feelings and thoughts, I doubt he thinks that.

[thehollowprince]

What would you say are Scott's main character traits (including flaws)?

His compassion, his empathy, his resilience, his refusal to give up or back down. Scott was essentially the heart and soul of this show. Without him, none of the events that took place over the six (eight!) seasons would have been possible.

I. Compassion - as a positive trait

To me, this is Scott's biggest character trait. This defined him more than anything else throughout the series. It also set him apart from any other werewolf that we saw throughout the show's run. Where Peter or Derek or Deucalion were angry and power-hungry, Scott wasn't. Scott just wanted to be a teenage boy, be on first line for his lacrosse team, and date his girlfriend. Scott's compassion, his care for the lives of those around him, was what allowed him to overcome the manipulations and machinations of his various foes. Him wanting the best for others was what usually allowed him to turn his enemy's allies against them, by showing them a better way.

One of my favorite lines in the show summed up Scott...

"Scott doesn't care about power-- he cares about people."

Understand, when I praise that sentence, I'm not hating on people like Derek, who craved power, which was understandable given how powerless I'm sure he felt after everything he went through. No, my issue with Derek was never his quest for power, but always with how he went about doing it.

And that was his (Scott's) philosophy from day one. It's how he managed to get Allison out of her aunt's clutches and get Derek to fight against his uncle. It's what allowed him to sway Isaac (and Boyd before he and Isaac switched roles) to his side and away from Derek's pack.

I will always remember the way Isaac looked at Scott during Raving when Scott clarified that he didn't want him (Isaac) to get hurt.

It's what allowed him to calm Boyd and Isaac down in season three, as well as have the twins try so hard to join his pack. On and on that cycle went, with former enemies becoming allies, the biggest example of which being Theo.

Theo was Scott's biggest rival. He managed to do what no other villain on this show ever did. He brought Scott to his lowest point, drove his pack apart, killed him, and after everything, Theo wanted to be a better person, because of Scott.

Sidenote: I think that's why I loved Theo as much as I did. Theo was a perfect example of what Scott could have become if he'd followed the path that Peter laid out for him.

II. Compassion - as a character flaw

Like any great characterization, a character's greatest asset can also be one of their biggest flaws. And while I do think that Scott's compassion was his greatest strength, I also believe it was his greatest weakness. Scott's compassion, his desire to see the best in others, was something that others took advantage of.

Once again I bring up Theo, because whereas others, like Peter or Gerard or Deucalion, simply looked at this from their jaded world view, thinking Scott was naive, Theo was the only one to take actual advantage of Scott's trusting nature, using it to worm his way into the pack and sabotage it from within, as opposed to hammering on it from the outside.

Now, I feel the need to say that it wasn't as bad as some parts of the fandom make it out to be. There are those who "watched" Teen Wolf that will swear that Scott invited in every serial killer and homicidal maniac that came across the show, even after they attempted to kill him, and that's simply not the case. While he was a very trusting person, once you broke that trust, it had to he earned back.

Scott never fully trusted Peter again after his many attempts to take out Scott. Derek spent the latter half of his arc gaining back Scott's trust after repeatedly breaking it in the first two seasons. When Theo came back, Scott didn't give him a bro-hug and say "It's all good". Theo had to earn back every inch of Scott's respect that he so casually threw away.

It was Scott's compassion that also led him to make some pretty risky mistakes, such as invading Corey's mind or attempting the trap with Hayden as bait that ultimately got her and Liam captured by the Dread Doctors. Scott's compassion was what made him bad under pressure, as we saw whenever one of his plans fell apart, he grew frazzled and anxious, because he wanted to protect everyone.

To once again sidebar here for a second, part of me also wonders if Scott was so trusting in response to Stiles' paranoia.

Scott: "Why can't you trust anyone?"

Stiles: "Because you trust everyone!"

Its like a chicken-or-egg situation.

III. Intelligence

Scott's intelligence is often overlooked because it's not as flashy as Lydia's, but he is a highly intelligent character. And no, I'm not just talking about "emotional intelligence", which is often tossed out as some sort of consolation prize, but actual, book-smart intelligence.

People will often cite the first season, when Scott got back a bad grade as proof that he was a poor student, while completely ignoring the fact that said grade had the phrase "this isn't like you" on it, telling the audience that before all these werewolf shenanigans started happening, he had better grades. Something he turned around as the show progressed, enough to get into AP classes. It was Scott who deduced that the Dread Doctors were creating chimeras. It was Scott that figured out what was taken from the Ghost Rider by Douglas. It was Scott that outsmarted Gerard and Deucalion, who managed to trick the trickster (Nogitsune) and to devise a plan that took out the Beast and Theo, as well as denying Gerard his prize.

Scott was incredibly intelligent and people need to recognize and appreciate that.

IV. Empathy - Emotional Intelligence

Scott's empathy was another huge asset of his throughout the show. His ability to empathize with others, particularly those who opposed him, completely threw those around him off guard. Where someone like Peter or Derek (season two) or Theo (season five) would look at someone's circumstances and see that as a way to manipulate them into getting what they want, Scott looked at those same people and empathized with them, accepted their pain for what it was and not as a tool.

In my opinion, that's why Scott and Lydia worked so well together. They were both used and abused by Peter, and tossed aside when they were no longer useful.

It was Scott's empathy that allowed him to connect with Kira and Liam when they were coming into this world. He'd gone through that, scared and confused and he did everything in his power to ease that transition for them. Same with Malia. He recognized that she spent a large chunk of her life as a rabid animal and that it wasn't her fault, giving her the room to grow and come back to herself on her terms. It was him recognizing that Allison had been manipulated by her grief and her grandfather, his refusal to hold that against her because he understood, that inspired Allison to come up with her own code.

Scott understood those around him, and by just being a good person who believed in others, he inspired those around him to be better.

V. Resilience

No character got knocked down as many times as Scott did, and he got back up - every single time.

***

To close off, I want to talk about another "flaw". I don't necessarily view it as a flaw, but I know that some parts of the fandom did, so it needs to he discussed.

The most common flaw that Scott had was the same flaw that his entire pack had - they were teenagers!

Scott was a sixteen year old boy who was bitten by a werewolf and had his entire life thrown upside-down. People often seem to forget that and demand that he be a perfect person (despite not demanding that of other characters) and its aggravating. He got jealous, and angry, and insecure, and he was allowed to. He was allowed to enjoy the little moments of happiness, like getting a good grade or dancing with his girlfriend, because he was a child forced into a world of warring adults who sought to take advantage of him (and others) at every opportunity.

[mc-critical]

hey, welcome back! hope your exams and stuff went well, and that you're doing fine now.

i wanted to hear your opinion on nigar hatun. i remember seeing one post of yours in which you said that she wasn't a favourite of yours like you favoured other characters and honestly, same. i didn't really much understand the fascination with her. she was an interesting character, but i can't imagine having her as a favourite when there are so many more characters who are far more interesting. i wish they gave her an alternate arc. idk what it could be, i'd like to hear your opinion on it. one alternative ending i came up for her is that she was extremely angry at ibrahim for toying with her and hatice for keeping her sweet little esmanur from her so she joins hurrem to defeat them? which hurrem did try but it didn't really go anywhere and nigar was against hurrem for killing ibrahim which just was kinda frustrating. they literally give hurrem no ally in the harem [except mihrimah later on but mihri is overall varying in terms of power] so it would be good for her to have some support in the harem from people who actually hated her enemies like her. she had actual political support from iskender celebi, rustem, and ayaz pasha and all, sure, but she didn't have much support in the harem, like all powerful women of the harem were against her. nigar obviously wasn't powerful like a sultan but she was an old member of the harem, was respected and even though she kinda lost her dignity with the scandal, she could've regained it with hurrem's help. sumbul was there later on but he was just a very faithful servant and didn't really have any real motive to harm any of hurrem's enemies except for out of his loyalty whilst nigar could've cultivated a hatred for hatice and ibrahim. this is a basic plot but i would've kinda liked seeing it. there can be many more ways her character could've ended but it would be good seeing a woman who didn't bow to her feelings all the time. the sultanas couldn't really control their feelings when it came to love because they were princesses who were used to getting what they wanted most of the time but nigar was a servant who also suffered the hardships of slavery and it obviously would've made her tougher as a person so she could control her feelings better; idk, i feel like this is an aspect of women they could've explored [or if they did explore it, i don't remember it lol my memory lapses a lot so i don't remember the show 100%] anyway, would like to hear your thoughts on nigar. thank you. welcome back again <3

Thank you! <33 Yup, I'm fine and the exams went well. Happy Pride month to you, too! 🏳️‍🌈

Hehe, I wrote that post years ago and while Nigar still isn't one of my absolute favourite characters, I've warmed up to her quite a bit. And honestly, now with the wider experience in the fandom, I can say that she isn't all that loved as it looks like. I then was under the limited wrong impression that the BG Mamma forum was a metric of all the popular opinions and yes, they loved Nigar a lot and I was sometimes confused as to why, but really, that and the Russian fanbase are the only places I have encountered that appreciate her all that much. There are characters I find more interesting than her, that's for sure, but she has her charm and I'm firmly against people reducing her to "evil" or "manipulative" or "weak after she fell in love with Ibrahim", so forth.

The thing she sets her first impression with is her intelligence caused by her relatively high experience in the harem. The advice she gave to Hürrem opened the path to her whole goal (as she herself acknowledged in E41) and that makes for quite an impact for a more recurring character. Despite of this, I never viewed early Nigar as someone taking an open side, hence I didn't find her supposed betrayal to Hürrem surprising in the slightest: she is also trying to survive in this environment in any way she knows how and she can't really find a fully comfortable position, because she is well aware that everyone is thinking for their own gain in the end. Including her. So the only choice she has left is to direct herself to where the wind is blowing and get advantages for herself once she gets the chance. Because all the experience has taught her to repress her feelings (E10 to Hürrem: "In this castle you can't show weakness."), opt to be the more level-headed person and seek for the more pragmatic solutions.

And yet she is very sensitive and perceptive to people that are different than the others or that are in need and is willing to lend them her hand. She adviced and helped Hürrem because she found potential in her, because she wanted to see her succeed, but not through endangering her own self or other people in the process (she told Hürrem that her game had gone too far again in E41), but through negotiation, compromise and adaption, to know when to start and when to stop and be respectful to those above her, no matter how hard or limiting that may look in Hürrem's eyes. Hürrem had the tendency in viewing every sign of support that came to her as granted, she still had that naive part of innocence in her in S01 and early on was in a desparate need of someone to lean on and unconditionally follow her path, that's why when Nigar diverted from that path, it hurt and took her a while to start trusting her again. But I didn't see Nigar as all that attached to Hürrem as Hürrem herself thought she was, especially with how Nigar became stuck between two sultanas later in S01 and that rendered her lost and more insecure than usual.

That's also why I don't view her as a two-faced or hypocritical double-crosser. Because for the longest time, Nigar was the one character in the series before Rüstem appeared that was clearly thinking about her own benefit and survival first and foremost from the beginning when darting between the powerful people in the harem and was the one well aware that she simply can't cling to a single side in her own position. Positions aren't permanent and can always change in such circumstances, so why can't she take advantage of this? Because who cares as much about the feelings for a Kalfa they can still order around after all? She has faced disregard from Mahidevran, Hürrem, Ibrahim and even Hatice. It is pretty understandable that she's going to seek the best opportunity for herself.

That whole facade breaks when she falls in love with Ibrahim. During rewatch, I found myself to have a soft spot for this character deconstruction, especially in S02. I know that it came to pass because of her falling in love with a man that doesn't share the same feelings and there were moments where it looked like she overdid it, even in S02, but for me, the whole thing nicely added a new layer of depth, while still feeling true to Nigar's character. Her future relationship with Ibrahim had been building up back in S01, when Ibrahim (both inadvertently and not I fully believe) played a part in helping her solve the first internal conflict she had (that is the struggle between the two sultanas). Maybe this didn't mean that much to Ibrahim, maybe he was simply trying to be helpful, but it meant a lot to Nigar - that was probably the first time someone seemed to take her feelings into account and actually listen when she couldn't help, but crack under the pressure. So it is only natural that she would search for this source of comfort once again, being ready to face every risk in the process. When she is appointed to Hatice and Ibrahim's castle, when she's practically left alone with Ibrahim, she decides to take that chance, to taste the forbidden fruit. He gave her something she never received and due to her not allowing herself to show weakness and having to cave to everyone else's demands before that, every ounce of affection Ibrahim shows her, it means the world to her. Thus she begins to idealize what she has with him, to the point of denial and delusion, and centers her loyalty completely on him. But that loyalty never seems to falter.  She began to resent and/or hate everyone who could possibly stand in Ibrahim's way, something she wouldn't have ever done before. She keeps her level-headed self and intelligence (I don't think that this plot line reduced it in any way, not even when she was at her worst.) and she's ready to take any opportunity for herself (case in point: her marriage with Rüstem.), but now her softer sides and her wish for affection are showing all the more.

The problem I have with Nigar's character, writing-wise, and now that I think about it, the main subject of why I didn't get the deal with her back then (along with considering her S01 self bland.. somehow?), is her S03B characterization. While her falling in love with Ibrahim plot-line became an important part of S02 Nigar's storyline, I don't think it overshadowed or dominated over her other characteristics, making for a neat balance of traits and an interesting, nuanced character. In an attempt to keep her for longest time possible in the story, S03B flanderized her in every possible way and overexaggerated her biggest strengths and flaws until they became stale and unbelievable. Her love for Ibrahim read as а near obsession narratively and her opportunism coupled with her will for revenge, which put her into many repetitive intrigues. At one point I even felt she was reduced to a plot-device (the moment Şah Sultan appointed her as a spy) and she felt a little too purposeless and to have totally outstayed her welcome until her last moment in the series.

The root of this problem is again, that they just didn't know when to stop with Nigar. To be brutally honest, she had no long-term role left to play after Ibrahim's death and it was time for the writers to let her go and maintain her generally strong characterization. The ending I would've chosen for her is to simply have Matrakcı give her Esmanur's location and for her to live with her daughter in piece. I know that because of the tonal shift, the show seemed to be already inclined that everyone had to have a tragic ending of sorts, to underline the growing ruthlessness and cruelty of the themes, but I fully believe that Nigar was one of the only characters that were terribly forced through their tragic endings. She didn't need, nor deserve a tragic ending and I doubt it would've been such a problem for the half-season if she didn't get one. I find a happier ending to be perfectly fine for Nigar and I would've loved to see it, if only for a freshness in ideas for character endings. I loved her Esmanur storyline and to witness her finding happiness with her, the only solace she had left, would have been a great wrap up of her S03 plots and an amazing send-off to Nigar's character.

I appreciate the thought you have put into your ending for her and to be fair, your proposal would be much better than anything S03B gave us. It would nearly correspond with the revenge plot of hers they were going for and it would be something more original at the same time. Hürrem's principal lack of allies doesn't bother me as a fact alone, because all her enemies have understandable reasons to be against her, but what bothers me however, is when the writers try using it to dumb her enemies down and make them doom themselves through their own failings or outright use it to put forced (often soapy) conflicts to make the audience sympathize with Hürrem. Or to make everyone "mistitle" her (is that a word? probably not.) or disrespect her on purpose again for sympathy points (that go beyond the part of her motivation that wants to feel respected and does stuff out of fear not to fall under a less favorable position once again.), without changing the status-quo until say, S04.

It is so deliberate it becomes annoying and seeing something else for a change... honestly, gimme! While I personally prefer a happy ending for Nigar, I would live for Nigar and Hürrem to work together again, while keeping what's become her central motivation intact. It may seem a little OOC for Nigar to work for Hürrem by that point, because she's channeled her loss of the most precious people into rage on those that have taken them away, but it would be a decent shifting of gears and a reverence to her opportunism to work to eradicate those she hates for good, even if it means doing so with one of your bigger enemies. After all, after the mission is fulfilled, she could still work against Hürrem in some way, right?

[Tell me if I got what you meant wrongly, but there is an example of a dynasty sultana putting her love feelings behind and by that I mean Şah Sultan. Her love is in the past by the point she arrived in the castle and her love for Ibrahim is only used as a conflict between her and Hatice, which they get over relatively quick. Sisterly love and ambition are a much bigger priority of Şah's: she cared about Hatice past any resentment she may have harbored over the years and agreed to share her life with Lütfi for the advantage this may bring, even though she didn't love him at all. She divorced him only when he offended the pride of a woman and her own personal pride. Other than that, we indeed didn't have a female character in MC that puts her feelings behind in design as far as I recall, only ones that end up clinging to them completely like Nigar here or ones that let go of them eventually like Mahidevran. Characters that have this design by default are more present in MCK like Safiye, or Turhan, or especially Gülbahar, but as I've said many times, MCK is more ruthless, while MC is more about the personal feelings of the characters, hence every motivation they have is somehow tied to them.]

[amwritingmeta]

15x14: Striking A Balance

This is late. I fell behind. Life happens. I still haven’t watched 15x15. Gah! But now to some thoughts on 15x14...

I thought this was a great episode the first time I watched it. Then I thought it was a bloody fantastic episode the second time I watched it, and the third time… well, it just gets better and better. I’m thoroughly looking forward to the final six. I hope you are too. 

I hope you’re as well as you can be and that you’re not living in a stress bubble. They’re the worst. I’d hand you a big old needle if I could. Maybe this meta can be some sort of needle (for popping), because at least I don’t feel the ending of this show is anything we need to stress about. I do believe it’s going to be utterly spectacular. *all the faith*

So I spent a chunk of lockdown watching this show of ours. I started at 12x19 (that episode still makes me tremble with its sheer brilliance) through to 15x13, and felt an overwhelming satisfaction at the evenness of the storytelling for these last three-ish seasons. 

A brief breakdown of three years of meta writing would be: Dean has been pushed to face, recognise and dismantle his internalised toxic masculinity traits aka his Shadow (which has been the root of unhealthy coping mechanisms and an inability to put down boundaries, communicate openly and handle his emotions), he’s been pushed to see the strength and power of his feminine traits (his nurturing side, his compassion, his protective nature) through being put in situations where he’s had no choice but to open up to being honest with himself, in turn bringing him on a course to him handling his emotions better, as well as the narrative giving us moments where he’s gotten the chance to acknowledge and embrace his neglected inner child. 

Yes, Jungian doctrine runs like a river through it, what can I say? I’m a fan.

With Dean as our protagonist, Sam and Cas are both on mirroring journeys, though Sam is Dean’s mirror opposite and Cas is Dean’s mirror likeness. It doesn’t take away from the individual journeys of Sam and Cas: it’s just that their choices and their progression are not determining the course of the narrative. Rather, their choices and progression work to underline and highlight Dean’s growth. Sam and Cas are main characters, but they’re not driving the core of the plot. 

Make sense? Cool!

Especially as this also means that Dean’s progression is pivotal for all three of them to actually reach… well, since it’s a word used twice this season why shouldn’t we just go with it? — completion. 

Which is why my eyes are happily peeled for Dean having moments that display a deepened sense of self-understanding (like his prayer to Cas, where Dean put words on the anger he’s always feeling and how he doesn’t know why or where it’s coming from) (an enormous step toward actually dealing with that emotion) (as self-deception through denial caused by fear of weakness tied to fear of rejection and fear of failure — that’s a mouthful — has always formed Dean’s biggest internal obstacle) because neither Sam nor Cas should, when we look at the narrative as a whole, be able or allowed to reach full completion (or individuation, to use Jungian terms) without Dean getting there first, or at least being shown to be well on his way to getting there.

This episode then is more of an epicsode, because, man, do we get to explore balanced!Dean, and it’s all through Jack: the narrative representation of Dean’s inner child.

Oh, yeah. Way I see it, Jeremy Adams brought us right back to the threads he was pulling on in Scoobynatural. *bless his brain* Only this time he’s pushed it a step further and rather than Dean simply facing his inner child—as (14x16 whoops I mean) 13x16 opened up that can of worms—now, in 15x14, Dean is forced to properly acknowledge and embrace that inner child. I mean. The mind crackles. The feels are cascading like a waterfall over a great cliff. The excitement, people, is real.

Let’s dig in!

Sam and Dean

They were glorious this episode!!

So Sam ended up tortured a little, but that was because he was shooting first, asking questions second, and sure, Mrs. Butters had gone a bit crazy, but as he learned: it wasn’t her fault. It wasn’t her nature, the crazy had been torture-nurtured into her.

And Dean was faced with yet one more reminder of how kindness, compassion and protectiveness can go haywire when there’s influence from toxic masculinity (aka Cuthbert Sinclair) pushing someone into a position of mistrust, insecurity and need for control. 

Let me reiterate the fact that when I’m talking masculine/feminine I’m not tying these concepts to gender, though of course these concepts have been tied to gender traits to the point of brainwashing people into thinking they should dictate what is male and what is female. (mental) Rather I mean all of our internal masculine/feminine traits that need to find balance if we are each to feel happy and content as human beings. 

It’s Tao, and it’s Jung, and it’s beautiful. Is all I’m saying. 

Digression.

My point is that in spite of sorting stuff out in their individual arcs, the brotherly relationship was depicted awesomely this episode, with Dean being 1000% supportive of Sam going to get itches scratched with Eileen, to the point of feeling he would rather just handle the sudden turn of events and this new threat by himself, than disrupt Sam and Eileen’s fun times (and by “fun times” I mean sex), and Sam going along for the joyride of holiday celebrations, home cooked meals and the supportive, warm and caring mother figure that they’re both, again, missing in their lives.

Sam was submissive this episode, following Dean’s opinions on how to best handle Jack (even with Dean being disastrous in the past when stating what Jack needs) which is somewhat frustrating, because Sam has so much more in him, but he also got to show that humongous heart of his, where he understood the root cause of Mrs. Butters’ behaviour and showed compassion, rather than judgement. His compassion has always been one of his most formidable strengths. 

And, of course, Sam had to ride sidesaddle this episode because if he was putting up any sort of protest—regarding accepting Mrs. Butters as part of the bunker or how best to deal with Jack— Dean wouldn’t have gone through the push for progression, delivered through the representation of his inner femininity that is Mrs. Butters, but primarily through the representation of (and here we go into the deeper digging) his inner child—Jack.

Dean and Jack

You know, end of the episode Dean states what is evident throughout: he’s trying. 

In the opening scene he asks Sam if Jack’s come out of his room, and then he’s the one who goes and knocks on Jack’s door to warn him about Mrs. Butters, placing trust in Jack that he can handle it and will call them if anything gets weird, and he cajoles Jack to come out with the promise of snickerdoodles. All of this subtly shows us that Dean knows what Jack is suffering, and we can be sure of that because we know he’s been there enough times.

The guilt, the self-blame, as well as the self-doubt underpinning it all, making it difficult to forgive. 

Because, thing is, Jack is struggling to forgive himself. To accept that it was an accident. He’s waiting for Dean’s forgiveness to give him a marker for whether it’s okay for him to even begin to forgive himself, which is understandable on all the levels of his character progression, but especially when looking at him as a representative of Dean’s inner child.

So then, why is Dean acknowledging, embracing and nurturing his inner child important?

Because, when looking at the narrative from the angle where it’s filled with symbolisism to do with Dean’s internal journey (and by extension the internal journeys of all the characters), then Dean’s progression, and especially lack there of, has been closely tied to the fact that he never got to be a kid. 

He had to grow up fast, got responsibility put on him that was way out of proportion for a four year old child, had to be a father and a mother to his younger brother, and learned to repress and suppress his childish urges, wants and needs through unhealthy coping mechanisms in order to dress himself in the image of the strongerst person that he’s ever known: his father.

(which is a misnomer because there was plenty of weakness to John Winchester) (especially how he was a highly emotional man who spent the years after his wife’s death driven by grief, but hammered it into his eldest son that emotions are weaknesses that will get you killed and you should control them to the point of barely being able to recognise them anymore) 

It’s imperitive for Dean to deal with the neglect he suffered in his childhood, rather than ignore it, if he’s ever going to be able to let those wounds heal over. And letting them heal over is important because pushing down trauma leaves it room to influence our choices and to keep us in old patterns of behaviour. Because self-denial and self-neglect is where our Shadow lives and thrives—our unconscious gaining power over us and dictating our behaviour even as we’re unaware of it.

Remember how Jack swallowed Michael? Remember how Michael was Dean’s Shadow representative? It’s not by accident that what Dean has left to confront, fully, is self-trust, self-forgiveness and finding his way to real self-love, symbolically given to us in this narrative through his treatment of Jack.

Because Jack is the final piece of Dean’s internal puzzle: his inner child in need of some real TLC.

So then, what does Dean need in order to be able to show Jack aka himself some real TLC?

Mrs. Butters

Ah, yes, of course what Dean needs most is to engage with his internal femininity. 

Mrs. Butters represents Dean’s suppressed and repressed longing for more in life, for a home, for love, and the only reason there’s been a need to suppress and repress this longing is to due with what he was taught as a child and throughout his formative years, actively by his father, and unconsciously by the way he was never taught or shown how to deal in any type of healthy way with the loss of his mother. 

Mrs. Butters as our representative of positive femininity then shows us as the audience how Dean, in his heart of heart, wants to believe that he can have good things in his life. That he deserves them. 

Mrs. Butters shows us that what Dean needs is to allow himself to feel joy, without expecting it to flip at a moment’s notice into feeling loss. 

And yes, I realise where the episode ends, but perhaps the feeling of joy wouldn’t flip if the lesson was learned in full and Dean knew how to trust and simply let go of the undercurrent of fear that the flip is lurking somewhere just around the next bend. 

What this episode shows us is that he’s just not quite there yet, but omg the threshholding is intense.

Because Mrs. Butters underlines that what Dean needs, more than anything, is to practice trust. Dean needs to practice opening up. Dean needs to practice letting go of his need for control. 

He can still be in charge of a situation, without thinking it’s all on him always.

Now, the episode highlights this in a rather glorious way, by trapping him in a room, under threat, knowing Sam is about to walk into the situation, and deciding not only is he not going to call Sam for help, he’s not even going to text him a heads up.

Look. This might be a plothole here. Jeremy Adams might have been so focused on the joke of Dean not wanting to interrupt Sam’s sexy times that he didn’t realise the implactions of Dean not even sending a text to warn Sam that he was essentially heading home to a dangerous situation, yeah? 

But the rather lax attitude of the brothers this episode: letting Mrs. Butters stay, and both of them neglecting the need for them to look into her backstory further, because they both got so distracted by holiday celebrations and her amazing cooking, combined with the hopscotch way they approach getting rid of her, all this is intentional enough for me to lean into the reading of Dean’s need to practice trust being explored in awesome ways.

Because Dean needs someone to take the load off, and Mrs. Butters does this in spades. 

What with how she brokers zero arguments, immediately getting him to clean up his language, and I mean, Dean then defying this is a moment of awesomeness and of course we all want him to continue being midly CW foulmouthed, but for all intents and purposes, he succumbs to her chastising quickly, and she gets him to open up to the joy of the moment via holiday celebrations, and, to top it all off, she gets him to eat healthier.

The fact that she’s introduced folding his underwear, and then goes on to tell him that she wouldn’t have had to if he’d just done it right to begin with, is fairly epic. (verrryy epic) As is her giving Dean the nightshirt from Scoobynatural. Obviously! He’s wrapped in hugs! Purple hugs! And having Dean dressed in purple and eating vegetables in the same episode is enough to make one’s head explode.

*head* *ex* *ploded*

Balance. Is why my head is exploding. The purple and the vegetables are indications of growing internal balance. *yes please and thank you!*

I loved them celebrating Sam’s birthday and Dean having specific requests for his, Mrs. Butters dismissing him with how she thought he’s too old to want to celebrate. It was such a moment of reminding Dean that he’s not supposed to regress, he’s not to forget that he is, in fact, an adult, and nurturing his inner child is about letting go of the need for the childhood he never had—which is keeping him from properly having the adult life he deep down yearns for. 

(and then this reminder was followed by a moment of kindness) (as there already were rice crispie treats waiting for him) (and his eager little face!) *heart eyes*

There was so much to love about Mrs. Butters, though!

Like the big bowl of crispy bacon on the breakfast table and her encouraging Sam to enjoy the world he’s fighting for, the waxing of Baby (!!), the introduction of the monster radar, finally getting the telescope—pardon me, the interdimensional geoscope—given some attention, Dean blowing a door down by using the grenade launcher (symbolically tied to self-liberation), the fixing of the TV in the Deancave (with thanks to Jeremy! he who breaketh he too shalt fixeth), the fact that Mrs. Butters is a straight-up anti-Nazi killing machine and that her violence stems directly from her need to protect her home and the people she cares about.

Yeah, there’s so much good in her that her not ending up shot, even though she tortured Sam, is not very surprising and I really enjoyed the fact that her story ended on a compassionate note of understanding, and that, if she hadn’t longed to go back to the woods, the boys would have wanted her to stick around. 

Forgiveness—looking for it, or needing it— is a clear thread through this episode.

As For the Deeper Symbolism

Dean starts out cooking, wearing his new favourite garment—an apron. Now, I could tie that to Dean embracing his inner femininity and the rest of the episode working to underline this fact to us, but that’s just my reading of it, so who knows what the deal with the apron actually is. I do love it though, and it’s put in dialogue twice so we were definitely meant to make note of it.

The cooking ties him directly to Mrs. Butters, of course (or her to him, if you will) and creates a bookend for the episode, where Dean starts and ends the episode wearing the apron: first presenting Sam with a burger (meat man!) and then presenting Jack with a birthday cake. 

This bookend is also tied very strongly to Jack. 

Dean asks about him in the opening scene and we learn Jack is holed up in his room, the episode going from having Jack hiding himself away, ashamed and self-hating in his room, to him sitting opposite Sam, expressing concern that they’re putting all their bets on him and he’s not sure he’ll be able to kill God, Sam offering assurance and Dean, through his cake-baking and happy birthday wishes, offering forgiveness and support.

It’s awesome! Beyond awesome! It’s bloody brilliant, is what it is!

Especially when looking at the implications it holds for Dean’s inner work: his inner child starts out locked away, fearful and despairing, being brought out of that room through the kind and supportive side to his internal femininity representative, only for that representative to turn around and step into the shoes of the toxic masculinity traits that have always been the source of Dean’s self-hatred, distrust and lack of faith in himself, and once being granted honesty from the ego (Dean’s consciousness admitting that he’s trying, he’s angry, maybe always will be, but he’s trying) his inner child ends up with the ego showing that inner child how much it matters, that it’s trusted, cared for and loved. 

*brains on ceiling*

Now, as mentioned briefly, the narrative gives us Dean’s inner femininity (Mrs. Butters) influenced by what is a clear toxic masculinity/Shadow character (Sinclair) and shows us why Dean is still wary of his inner child, still not entirely trusting, and it makes all the sense, especially now that the inner child has swallowed up the Shadow and incorporated it into himself. 

Mrs. Butters’ mistrust of Jack becomes emblematic of Dean’s own mistrust in himself, but his inner child knows better and Jack’s continous denial of Mrs. Butters’ accusations underscores this fact. There is self-trust within Dean. Stronger than the lingering mistrust.

All of this inner work for Dean and Sam’s the one who gets tortured?

Well, I can see good reason why Sam is Mrs. Butters’ favourite and it’s to do with how he’s so closely tied to Dean’s purpose in life. Mrs. Butters is a reflection of Dean, and as she moves into Protector of the Bunker she’s also a reflection of any lingering toxic masculinity within Dean, and how it’s always been trying to find a way to sink its claws in Sam, but Sam has never bought into the toxic masculinty spiel, and because of that he’s needed in this instance, to see through the behaviour, to push for compassion, to break through the brainwashing that Mrs. Butters is under, to point out how she was used, taken out of her true nature to do someone else’s bidding.

The most thrilling part is that it’s Dean who delivers the biggest missing piece to Mrs. Butters’ puzzle: the true nature of Jack. 

Because, looked at symbolically, Jack’s ability to save the world represents Dean’s inner child’s ability to save Dean.

Because if any side to Dean were to destroy/thoroughly repress his inner child, he’d be lost. He would never be able to heal. 

The fact that Dean gets to be the one to do this, to talk a representative of his own inner imbalance down, makes me giddy. 

He would not have been able to do this a season ago. He was barely able to do this at the beginning of this season, because he was so full of anger.

That anger, after voicing it to Cas, doesn’t hold the same sway anymore.

He freely admitted to Jack that he’s still angry, and perhaps he always will be a little angry, but he is trying, and this, to me, is enormous. He expressed his emotion and he’s in zero ways allowing that emotion to control his actions anymore.

And, hey, we got Dean, wearing purple, assuring Mrs. Butters that Jack is a good kid.

It’s just… happy happy joy joy!

And a standing ovation to Meagen Fay. She really helped make the episode compelling to watch, balancing Mrs. Butters’ homely and darling characteristics with the darker and MoL compelled Protector of the Bunker that slowly, but surely, reared its not-as-darling head. Kudos!

Right. I could write about this episode some more, because layers, but it’s time to leave off. One thing before I go, though: I loved that we finally had them talk about that big-ass telescope. And I love that it’s not a telescope, because it makes sense. They’re underground—how would they see the stars? I figured there was some sort of skylight somehow that would open or something but meh, dull. This is so much better! And I loved that the green colour of warning was actually to do with the fact that they’re now not being able to see anything through it, rather than the colour having to do exclusively with Mrs. Butters. Utterly brilliant! And… oh dear, what horrors lie ahead??

Now to go watch 15x15. 

I’m not biting my nails. 

At all.

[romeulusroy]

Hi!

Can I ask for a male Criminal Mind ship?

Im 5’8”, have curly,darkbrown hair and fair complexion and hourglass type of body. Hair is my biggest insecurity, it's real love-hate relationship, but mostly it's definitely hate kind of a relationship. I have difficult nature- I have strong personality, I don’t like when someone tells me what to do and yet Im introverted. Some people say Im acting cold, but still love cuddles and small forms of affection. Around those I know I am usually cheerful and even quite crazy tho. I love to give my friends or close family small gifts, often handmade and without an occasion. I’m stubborn and if I have to I will stand up for my rights. I love drawing and painting and art in general. I’m interested in astronomy and I like to spend night at observing stars. I tend to travel a lot, sometimes with my dog – I have tattooed her paw print on my ribs. My goal is to visit all continents, I visited already 3 of them. I love meeting new cultures and learning languages. I am collecting postcards. I have big box of them already, some of them are from times I wasn't born yet. I also like writing letters! I get excited about all animals, especially dogs, cows and whales, however I am afraid of ladybugs and spiders. I am addicted to coffee with roasted hazelnut syrup. I listen to a music A LOT, almost 24/7. Usually it's rock and metal, but I like also classical, soundtracks, sometimes even pop and indie. I try to get to know music from all over the world (so if you have anything good I would be grateful for recommendation!).

You asked about HP houses- Slytherin/Thunderbird. For MTBI-INFP.

Thank you a lot and have wonderful day!💕

What trope are you? Together Forever 💕

You and Derek have been together, it seems, forever. Every time there's been a new hire, they swear up and down it seems like you've always been married. Derek doesn't wear his ring when he works. He doesn't want anyone knowing his biggest weakness: you. He talks about you though, all the time, nut only with people he really trusts. He knows how taxing the job can be. If someone doesn't seem like they're going to last, you become his best kept secret. You mean more than he could ever put into words. If someone threatened you, or the life you built, because of his big mouth, he'd never forgive himself. Most are surprised he's even married given how flirty he is with Garcia, but you're old friends, too. You know he'd never look at another person like the way he looks at you. You're the only one for him.

You and Derek have been together for a long time. Maybe not forever, but you've been through thick and thin together. You know the best and worst traits about one another. He knows how you feel about your hair, how you take your coffee. He knows that wherever his job takes him he absolutely must get a postcard from there, no matter how many you have. He often writes on the back of them while he's on the plane, reflecting about their last case. He always ends it with how much he loves you. Often, it's the only thing that keeps him grounded: is knowing when he comes home you'll be there. You'll always be there. Whatever bad stuff he had to see, what others have done, he knows that's all left behind the second he walks through the door, greeted by you and your adorable dog. You know the look he gives when somethings bothering him but won't bring it up first. You know his fake laugh from his genuine, and how to get him to smile.

Everyone jokes you're so perfect for each other it's gross. When neither of you are working you make a point to see somewhere new at least once a year. He's not much of a planner, but he never minds when you've got all these grand ideas. The three of you, including your pup, take hundreds of pictures while you're away. His favorite times, no matter where you are, is when you can sir under the stars. You're so fascinated with the sky you don't even notice the way he's looking at you, as if he's falling in love with you all over again. You point out different constellations and how beautiful they are, but they're nothing in comparison to you. He's always there to save you from spiders, though of course he'll tease you the rest of the day and gives all your music a try, even if it's not for him. Most of all, Derek knows, there is no him without you. As far as he's concerned, you are and will always be his person.

~ I hope you like it my love!!! Xoxoxo💜💖💜💖💜💖💜

[jjoutermaybanks]

With You In My Head || Rafe Cameron x Reader

part one part two part three part four part five part six part seven part eight

summary: it’s going to be a long summer. living in the Outer Banks with your trailer park mom and fancy mansion dad, you know it’s going to be a tough three months. things only get harder when your best friend’s brother, the notorious Rafe Cameron, begins to complicate your life even more. but will the island’s biggest wildcard successfully steal your heart, or leave you more broken than before?

word count: 5k

warnings: some casual smut for the TL, enjoy ;))

*not my gif, credit to owner*

PART THREE

You didn’t sleep at all that night.  Hours were spent tossing and turning, staring at the ceiling above you and trying not to close your eyes.  Whenever you did, Rafe’s face flashed into your mind.  More specifically, the chilling expression of intensity that he’d worn while beating the absolute crap out of JJ.  It haunted your thoughts, and you were sure that if you fell asleep you’d see it in your nightmares.

Rafe had scared you more than anyone ever had before.  Violence had always made you sick, which was one of the reasons why you avoided the many skirmishes the Pogues found themselves in.  Bruises and blood didn’t sit well with you, and the smell of JJ’s blood was burned into your nose.  The cracks of Rafe’s fist against his body also echoed in your ears, and it was as if the fight had overwhelmed all of your senses and was slowly drowning you.

So when the morning light began filtering into your room, you were grateful.  You could get up and make breakfast and do everything in your power not to think about what had happened.  

Trudging into the small kitchen of the trailer, you peered over and saw your mother snoring away on the pull-out couch.  Her body looked contorted on the thin mattress, twisted in such a way to try and sleep comfortably.  She looked stiff and there was a frown on her lips, making you sigh.  It pained you that your mother had to live in this stupid trailer, and you angrily recalled the giant house you’d visited your father in yesterday.

It was so unfair.  Their divorce had stolen every last drop of energy and life from your mother, leaving her defeated and passive.  Your father ended up more egotistical and self-centered than ever, at the expense of your poor mom.  You wished more than anything the roles had been reversed, and it was him suffering in this dump rather than her.

But this was real life, and you’d learned a long time ago to accept things the way they were.  This mindset made it hard for you to be optimistic, and you rarely ever hoped for anything.  Frowning, you realized you’d had a sliver of hope on the beach yesterday with Rafe.  You’d secretly hoped you could learn to trust him, and that the two of you could be friends.  But that dream had been destroyed almost as quickly as it was created, which seemed to be a trend in your life.

You felt claustrophobic in the small trailer, and after rifling through the fridge decided to take a trip to the local market.  You barely had any food, and you thought it’d be nice to get some fresh fruit and vegetables for your mother.  

The market was buzzing with early morning activity, and you smiled at the familiar faces of the merchants.  You drifted through the various stands, admiring the ripe selection at your fingertips.  Lifting an orange to your nose, you inhaled the citrusy scent and sighed contentedly.

All of a sudden, a shadow fell over your shoulder after someone came up behind you.  Flinching in surprise, you whirled around and dropped the orange.  It rolled across the ground and landed at none other than Rafe Cameron’s feet.  With a smirk, he knelt down to pick it up, extending it to you with gleaming eyes.

“Morning, Y/N,” he greeted, and you snatched the orange out of his hand.  Fuming with embarrassment and irritation, you dropped the orange into your woven produce bag and glared over at him.

“What are you doing here, Rafe?” you demanded, crossing your arms.  You hated how he had taken you by surprise, and you also hated the flush that rose to your cheeks when he looked at you.

Rafe looked taken aback at your harsh tone, but recovered with a charming laugh.  “It’s a public farmer’s market, Y/N.”  He had his own bag of produce hanging off his shoulder, sure enough.

Scowling, you retorted, “What do you want?”  You didn’t feel like wasting time.  The sooner you could get away from Rafe the better.

“What’s wrong?  I thought you and I were becoming friends.”  He actually sounded a little hurt, but you tried not to let this affect you.  Rafe couldn’t be that stupid to think you wanted to be his friend after what he did to JJ.

He walked beside you as you continued strolling through the market, preferring to look at the fruit rather than his eyes.  “I thought we were too,” you told him.  “Until you almost killed my friend last night.”

Rafe stopped in his tracks, and reached out to grab your arm to stop you too.  Immediately wrenching your arm out of his grip, you glared at him as he threw his hands up in surrender.  “What are you talking about?  The fight was fair, and don’t you remember that my side lost?” 

You met Rafe’s eyes with a pointed look.  “Topper and Kelce may have lost, but you didn’t.  One more minute and JJ would’ve been in the hospital for a year.”  As you said this, memories of the fight burned across your mind and made you shudder.

Rafe frowned, and you couldn’t tell if he looked regretful.  You also remembered the way he looked at you before leaving, with slight guilt in his eyes, but you couldn’t detect any of that now.

“It’s not like JJ didn’t get any punches in,” he defended, pointing to his face.  It was then that you noticed the cut on his forehead, and a purple bruise on one of his cheeks.  You hadn’t seen these injuries before, and you took a second to take them in.  So I was wrong, you thought, biting your lip.  Maybe I was too harsh on him.

Shaking your head, you were determined to keep your resolve and not let Rafe break you.  “Still,” you murmured.  “You were brutal, Rafe.”

He pressed his lips into a thin line, eyes distant.  “He would’ve done the same to me if he could have, trust me.”

Again, he was right.  You knew JJ, and he’d left his enemies looking just as bad as he did after fighting Rafe.  Realizing Rafe was steadily disproving all of your arguments for being mad at him, you huffed.  How was he so good at that?  He was nearly impossible to hate.

Sensing your apprehension, Rafe sighed.  “Look, I’m not proud of what happened.  I didn’t even want to fight anyway, but I couldn’t just abandon Topper.”  When you still didn’t budge, he swallowed roughly, lowering his voice to just above a whisper.  “I’ve never been able to back down from a fight.  Ward, he...”  Rafe struggled to find the right words.  “He taught me that a fight is never over until you either win or die trying.  There’s no such thing as losing to him.”

This sent chills down your spine, and also a wave of sadness for the younger Rafe who had to grow up that way.  You couldn’t imagine the extreme difficulty of being Ward’s son, of not being allowed to be vulnerable or show weakness.  Rafe must have had a lot more issues because of this, and he’d alluded to them on the beach.  

Naturally, your sympathy for Rafe overtook your anger, and you let go of the frustration you’d harbored over him.  Giving him a stern look, you said, “Fine.  But next time, don’t kick a guy when he’s already down.”  JJ had lost the fight long before Rafe actually stopped hitting him, and he could’ve spared the blonde boy a few bruises and pains.

Rafe smiled in relief, and you liked the way he looked when he wasn’t so serious.  He was much more handsome this way.  With an enthusiastic voice, he declared, “Let me make it up to you.  Sarah and I are throwing a party tonight, and I want you to come.”

Raising your eyebrows disbelievingly, you asked, “You two are throwing a party?”  You couldn’t imagine Sarah doing anything with her brother that wasn’t arguing.

Chuckling, Rafe rubbed the back of his neck shyly.  “Alright, we’re not exactly throwing it.  It just happens to be taking place at our house, since Ward is going out of town for a few days.  Other than that, I have zero hosting duties.”  

Pursing your lips, you tried to think of an excuse not to go.  “I don’t know, Rafe.  What would I even talk to people about?  I’m not exactly a Kook.”

“Come on, Y/N.  Your dad plays golf with my dad every Sunday.  Your boat is docked three spots down from ours.  You have more in common than you think.”

Rolling your eyes, you said, “It’s not my boat, it’s my father’s.”  

Rafe was refusing to let this go, however.  No excuse was good enough for him.  “Please?  I think you’ll have fun.  Besides, Sarah will be there so you can complain about how much you hate it with her.”  He looked so desperate for you to agree that you couldn’t help but smile.  Something about Rafe broke down all of your walls and banished every inhibition you had.  You couldn’t decide if you liked this trait of his or not.

“Fine, I’ll come.”  He pumped his fist, and you laughed, continuing your shopping.  Rafe accompanied you for the rest of your trip, even offering to walk you home.  But you firmly rejected this offer, threatening not to go to the party if he tried to walk you home.  You left him with a smile on your face and nervous energy in your heart.

Whenever you were dreading something, time tended to fly by.  Today was no different, and the hours flew past until it was time to get ready to leave for the party.  Even though things with Rafe had improved, you still did not feel like being around a bunch of Kooks for the night.  But you’d promised him, and if this friendship thing was serious you had to honor that promise.

You went through your entire closet before you settled on an outfit.  You settled on a pair of flowy shorts in a rusted pink color with a white crop top.  Sarah had bought this outfit with you, and she’d told you it accentuated all of your best features.  You threw it on over a stringy white bikini, and after over-analyzing your appearance in the mirror you gave up and just decided to leave.

From a block away you could hear the voices at the party.  Music was blaring through the balmy night air, and as you approached the Cameron’s house you could see hundreds of people milling around the property.  Your jaw dropping in disbelief, you felt a pang of anxiety at the sheer number of Kooks.  They were all expensively dressed and wearing judgmental expressions to match.  A group of girls whipped their heads over to gawk at you, and if looks could kill you’d be six feet under.

Walking through the yard, you wove through the crowd and avoided eye contact with the people around you.  Your sole mission was to find Sarah, because only she could make this nightmare tolerable.  But when you’d crossed the entire yard, even checking the inside of the house, there was no sign of her.  The lights in her room were off, and she was nowhere to be seen.

You were officially stranded here alone.

A thousand emotions swirled through your mind.  Humiliation, regret, slight irritation.  You were humiliated to be at a party completely alone, regretted even coming at all, and also felt massively irritated that Sarah had bailed.  But then your irritation shifted to Rafe, and a thought occurred to you.  Was Sarah even planning to come at all?  Or was that just a ploy by Rafe to convince you to come?

Seething with anger, you stormed back out, now changing your sights to try and find Rafe.  Luckily he was easy to spot, his tall frame towering over the other party-goers.  He caught your eye across the lawn, and broke into a wide smile.  He said something to the group he was with and then started towards you.

“Hey!  Look who showed up!”  His happiness was infectious, but you were so pissed it had no effect on you.  He picked up on your sour mood, smile faltering.  “What’s wrong?”

“Sarah isn’t here,” you snapped.  “I’m leaving.”  All you wanted was your warm bed and to sleep off the embarrassment you felt right now.  

Rafe sighed, pushing a hand through his gelled hair and messing it up slightly.  “Don’t go, please.  I’m sure Sarah will be here later, she’d never miss a party like this.”  His eyes were fixed on yours, holding your gaze with an electricity you couldn’t ignore.  “Besides, how am I supposed to make up for last night if you leave now?”

You narrowed your eyes.  “Sarah is coming later?” you reiterated, making sure he wasn’t bluffing again.  

Rafe nodded.  “Like I said, she loves parties.”

Once again, you couldn’t find any good argument against him.  He was annoyingly triumphant in most of these situations, and you rolled your eyes at him.  Rafe took this as a victory, and placed a hand on your back before leading you through the crowd of people.

“Let’s get you a drink, yeah?  Being drunk makes these things ten times better.”  He stopped at a makeshift bar setup, and grabbed a solo cup before filling it with mysterious liquid.  When he handed it to you, you saw an odd red colored mixture and sniffed it hesitantly.  It smelled strongly of alcohol, but also had a fruity tang.

“What the hell is this?” you asked, unsure of what the concoction could be.

Rafe smiled proudly.  “It’s my signature.  Half vodka and half whatever fruity seltzer we have in the fridge.  Tastes amazing, and also gets you drunk without the awful taste of regular vodka.”  

Shrugging, you took a long sip, and Rafe whistled approvingly.  “Damn, you’re really trying to get drunk, huh?”

You shook your head.  “I’m the opposite of a lightweight.  It takes a lot to actually get me hammered.”

“Oh, well then drink up.”  Rafe poured himself a cup, and you toasted the solo cups with a laugh.  Now that you weren’t wandering around alone, you were actually sort of enjoying yourself.  But after a minute, you noticed people staring at you, and the group Rafe had abandoned to talk to you looked annoyed at his absence.

You bit your lip.  “Um, Rafe,” you started, causing him to look over at you.  His blue eyes shocked you as always, and you blushed.  “You don’t have to stay and talk to me.  I’m sure you’d rather be with your friends, I’m just a drag.”

He looked shocked that you’d even say that.  “What are you talking about?  I’m not hanging out with you out of obligation.”  At your doubtful shrug, he sighed.  “You know what?  You’re gonna come meet my friends.”  He grabbed your hand, leading you once again through the throng of people.

Panic striking you, you stuttered out, “Rafe, I don’t think that’s a good--”  But it was too late; you’d reached his group of friends.  You recognized Topper and Kelce, and forced a pinched smile.  They both sported black eyes and multiple bruises, not to mention glares pointed directly at you.

“Guys, this is Y/N,” Rafe introduced, and a few of them nodded or muttered greetings.  He went around and said half a dozen names you knew you wouldn’t remember, but you smiled at them anyway.  Rafe was right next to you, and you found yourself almost leaning into him as a shield.  The proximity was closer than you’d ever been, and you got a whiff of his expensive cologne.

The group started chattering about something you only sort of paid attention to.  Instead, you focused mainly on observing Topper and Kelce.  You figured it was a good idea to get to know Rafe’s best friends if you wanted to be friends with him.  Over the course of the conversation, your view of both of them changed.  You realized Topper was more pathetic than anything; he actually cared about Sarah, and missed her like crazy.  This made him easier to understand in your head, and the dislike you held for him before was replaced by pity.  Kelce didn’t change much for you, just confirmed that he was a meathead with little else going for him.  He didn’t have any original thoughts, always trailing behind Rafe or Topper and doing whatever they wanted.

You attempted to listen to the conversation for a little while longer, until you were so bored you couldn’t stand it anymore.  Leaning over to whisper into Rafe’s ear, you said, “I’m gonna go see if Sarah is here yet.”  You smiled warmly at him, hoping he could see you actually appreciated his effort to incorporate you into the group.

Wandering around again wasn’t any more enjoyable this time.  You still felt ostracized from the other Kooks, like you didn’t belong here with them.  An hour must have passed of just aimlessly searching for Sarah, and by the time you gave up it was so late at night you realized Sarah probably wasn’t going to come at all.

Which meant Rafe had lied to you.

Once you made this realization, the anger you’d overcome earlier resurfaced.  Why the hell would he lie about this?  Did he just want to lure you here for his friends to mock and make fun of?  What was the point of making you feel like an outsider, other than to hurt you?  Friends didn’t pull stunts like this.

You stormed towards the pool, heading straight for Rafe who stood beside it talking to his friends.  When he saw you approach he grinned, but this expression quickly changed when he read the anger in your eyes

“Y/N--”

“Why did you lie about Sarah coming?” you interrupted furiously.  “Why would you drag me to this stupid party if you knew I would be alone and miserable?  I mean, did you want me to feel like shit?”

Rafe looked completely stupefied.  He opened his mouth, but no words came out he was so speechless.  You glowered at him, cheeks heating up as you felt the stares of everyone else on your face.

“Well?” you insisted.  Rafe looked more confused than ever, and you rolled your eyes.  At this moment, Topper stepped out next to Rafe.

“Relax, Y/N, you don’t have to make a scene.”  He reached out to touch your shoulder, and you flinched away from his touch.  But this sudden movement caused you to lose balance, and you felt yourself tripping backwards.  

Before you knew what was happening, your body hit the pool.  Ice cold water cascaded over your head, and your arms floundered desperately under the surface.  You reemerged a second later, but you were soaked to the bone and came up to the sounds of hysterical laughter.  Rubbing the water out of your eyes, you saw Topper and the others snickering at your clumsiness, with Rafe staring down at you just as clueless as before.

He recovered quickly though, and extended a hand to help you out.  You grabbed it angrily, and he hauled you out of the pool.

“Y/N, I am so sorry--”

You didn’t wait around to hear his apology,  Instead, you stormed out of the crowd and headed away from the house, trying to ignore the mocking laughter behind you.

The beach seemed to be the place you always went to at times like this.  The waves were calm again tonight, and despite the freezing pool water drenching your clothes the air was warm with summer heat.  You stopped beside a long wooden beach chair with padded cushions, discarding your wet shorts and shirt.  You folded the soggy fabric and left them by the chair along with your shoes, leaving you in just the bikini you’d put on before coming.

In order to work off your anger and dry off your body, you started on a walk down the shore.  It was peaceful at this hour, and you eventually walked far enough from the party to be in total silence.  Normally you’d let your thoughts run rampant right now, but tonight you didn’t want to think about anything.  You especially didn’t want to think about Rafe.  He’d genuinely hurt you, and for the second time in a matter of days.  No matter how sincere he seemed in the aftermath, this humiliation was overpowering.

You must have walked for miles, because the stretch of beach became unfamiliar and prompted you to turn around.  By the time you neared where you left your clothes, you were exhausted and drained from feeling upset.  You were so tired in fact that you didn’t notice someone sitting in the beach chair until they spoke.

“I thought you left.”  Rafe’s voice was soft and timid, worried you’d yell at him again.  You just paused beside him, folding your arms across your exposed chest.

“Why would I leave when my clothes are still here?” you said pointedly, and Rafe nodded in defeat.  He was quiet, clearly picking up on your mood.  You almost appreciated this gesture, if he wasn’t the person who’d ruined your mood to begin with.

Glancing at his house in the distance, you saw the lights were off and the sound of voices had ceased.  The party had finished by the time you returned from your walk, which meant it was just Rafe around.

He was laying across the big chair clad only in board shorts, his exposed torso gleaming in the moonlight.  His gaze was directed towards the sky, face peaceful.

Wanting to fill the silence, you asked, “Why are you out here?  Aren’t you tired from the party?”

Rafe shook his head.  “Nah, I’ll be up for hours.  I just came out here to look at the stars.”

You snorted.  “How cute,” you commented, but when you realized he was serious you regretted your jab.  Rafe shifted aside on the chair and patted a space by his knees for you to sit.  Tentatively, you settled there and gazed up at the stars as well.

“I’ve always loved astronomy,” he admitted.  “I think it’s so cool that there’s so much else out there.  Kind of makes everything down here seem insignificant.”

You furrowed your brow.  “That’s morbid.”

He shrugged.  “I don’t know, it’s sort of comforting.  Like, however shitty things are here, that’s not how it is everywhere.”  This made you turn your gaze to him, frowning.  You wondered if he was referring to Ward, and you sensed you were right when he couldn’t meet your eyes.

A minute passed, and then Rafe said, “I really am sorry.”  His words were genuine, and tried to let them sink in.  It didn’t make up entirely for tonight, but it helped.

Sliding your eyes along his face, you saw something flit across his eyes.  The air suddenly filled with tension, and you found it hard to breathe with his gaze so fixated on you.  Your body almost felt a magnetic pull towards his, and when he rested his arms on the edge of the chair you hitched your breath.

Without even thinking, you swung your legs over and shifted your body until you were settled between his legs.  Your head leaned back against his chest, his chin resting just by your ear.  Having his warm skin under yours felt beyond good, and his arms encircled you to rest by your waist. 

You laid together like this for a while, neither of you saying anything.  Your hands drifted up his arms, absently feeling him as he breathed against the back of your neck.  Occasionally he’d lift his hand to point out a star pattern, and when you tilted your head to see it you rested against his shoulder.

While you looked at the sky, Rafe looked at you.  Turning your head to the side, you realized how close your faces were and parted your lips.  Even in the dark his blue eyes were striking.  You held your breath, anticipating his next move.

And when it came, you rejoiced inside.  Rafe leaned forward to connect your lips, his mouth warm and gentle.  You accepted the kiss gratefully, molding against him and twisting slightly so you could bring a hand to his cheek.  His tongue swiped out across your bottom lip, and you opened your mouth to grant him entrance.  Your tongues pushed against one another, deepening the kiss and making your head grow fuzzy.

Tearing his lips from yours, Rafe moved down your jaw and to your neck.  You faced forward again, watching as his hands slid up your abdomen.  His fingers found the ties to your bathing suit top, and in one swift movement he undid them.  The white bikini fell out of place, your breasts exposed to the warm night air.  

Breathing hard, you felt Rafe’s hands skim across your breasts, making your nipples harden into peaks.  His fingers were rough against your skin, and when his thumbs grazed your nipples you exhaled softly.  His lips worked the side of your neck, sponging kisses there while his hands were at your chest.

Waves of pleasure drifted through your body, and your lips hung open in a wordless gasp.  Rafe pinched your nipples lightly, causing you to arch your back against him.  As you did this, you felt something hard pressing into your back, and realized it was his firm length through his shorts.  You continued to grind your hips slowly against his, and his breathing increased by your ear.

“Y/N,” he breathed, making your eyes roll back.  He gave your breasts a firm squeeze, and you raised one hand to touch his cheek.  You were breathing erratically now, and this only increased when he removed his hands from your chest and moved them downwards, towards the pool of moisture already collecting in your bathing suit bottoms.

His fingers dipped below the band, his fingers shockingly cool against your hot skin.  You tensed up when you felt him right where you needed him, and when his lips kissed your ear you exhaled.

And then his middle finger pressed into your clit, causing a moan to tumble from your mouth.  He’d barely touched you and you were already putty in his hands.  Rafe started circling his finger, and you couldn’t control the sounds leaving your throat.

“Yes,” you released, crying out when he dragged across your slick entrance.  “Rafe.” you moaned his name, and a gentle growl rumbled in his throat behind you.

Rafe’s fingers worked expertly against you.  He focused entirely on your clit, knowing exactly what to do to drive your senses wild.  The bundle of nerves was going haywire under his hand, and your hips ground into his palm to try and increase friction.

“That’s it,” he murmured into your ear, causing goosebumps to raise across your skin.  “Do I make you feel good, baby?”  The nickname made you moan again, you brought a hand to roughly squeeze your breast.

Rafe quickened his movements, and your legs were shaking from the sheer pleasure.  When he pinched your clit, you knew you were done for.  An orgasm exploded in your abdomen, and you cried out in ecstasy, tensing against his hand and whining his name.

“Rafe,” you panted, resting your cheek against his chest.  His lips pressed into the top of your head, and you watched him bring his hand out of your bikini bottoms to his lips.  He licked off your moisture, and the sight drove you absolutely crazy.

Slowly flipping over so your chest was against his, you dove in to give him another kiss.  Rafe eagerly reciprocated, spreading his fingers across your back and pulling you close.  But you broke away from the kiss after a second, holding his gaze as you moved down his body.  His mouth hung open while he watched, and when you reached his waist he swallowed.

Slowly, you brought your hand up over his clothed cock.  Rafe jerked at the subtle movement, and you smiled.  You palmed his mound again, licking your lips in preparation.  You wanted to make him feel as good as he just made you feel.

When you were about to pull down his shorts, a voice broke through the silence.

“Rafe?  Are you out there?”

It was Sarah.  Panic flared in your chest, and you pressed yourself as far into Rafe as you could to stay out of view.  He was panting by now, distracted by your body on his and the erection in his pants.

“I’m coming in a second,” he called out.  The distant sound of departing footsteps told you she was gone, and you then scrambled down off the chair and into the sand.  It sounded like Sarah had left, but you didn’t want to take any chances.  

Rafe sat up quickly, blowing out a sigh and running a hand through his tousled hair.  He looked worked up, and still very much hard.  But you ignored him as you pulled your shorts on, retying your bikini top and putting on your shirt.  

“Y/N,” he began, but once you slid into your shoes you wasted no time in running off of the beach, not even bothering to say goodbye.

~ ~ ~

taglist

@prejudic3 @afterglowsb-tch13 @beeeee06 @dysaneworld @we-are-all-lovely​ @poguequeen @freebiscuitdragonbear​ @solko @luckypurpleunicorn 

[fillingthescrapbook]

Shadow and Bone: The Crows Have It

I would like to preface this by saying I have not read the books that Netflix's latest fantasy series is adapted from. Though, I do have a general knowledge of what happens and which characters aren't supposed to be in the show because of research I did for this interview. With that disclaimer out of the way, I now give you spoiler warning for the rest of this post.

Shadow and Bone is a good series with a well-plotted out story. The world-building, for the most part, is exemplary, and the magical powers that exist in the world are impressively explained and shown. Everyone acted their socks off, the fight choreography and the hand gestures looked and felt natural, the costumes were beautifully-crafted, and the visual effects were amazing. Unfortunately, the show also suffers two glaring weaknesses that kind of sours viewers from the whole package: Alina and Mal.

Don't get me wrong. Actors Jessie Mei Li and Archie Renaux were great. Jessie, especially, was transcendent as Alina. And it's a testament to her acting skills that I felt anything at all for Alina. It was only after each episode aired that I started questioning Alina's decisions. And it was only after the show ended that I realized Alina wasn't a very good character at all.

Alina's only character traits were that she was in love with Mal, and that she had powers to summon light. That was it. Her character didn't really develop because both those character traits existed prior to the show starting, and her realization that General Kirigan wasn't to be trusted didn't come from within; it was propelled by a revelation of a tertiary character that she questioned once and then took as truth after the reveal of a painting. It was... disappointing to say the least. Especially because the show added an element to Alina and Mal's characters that didn't exist in the books: they were made half-Shu.

In the first episode, Alina experiences racism against her because of her Shu Han features. But the only thing we really know about the Shu Han at this point is that they're looked down upon. And that they guard their mountains to the south of Ravka well. One character calls them the enemy, but we don't know why. So my only takeaway from this is that the Ravkans are racist as fuck. Which wouldn't have been a problem if we saw this amount to anything.

After Alina reveals her powers at the end of the first episode, the next time her Shu Han heritage gets brought up is in the third episode: when a maid comments that a Tailor should take away Alina's Shu features, to which Alina pleads against. And then we get another microaggression from the character of Zoya, but I feel like it was more fueled by her being deposed as General Kirigan's favorite Grisha rather than it being because of Alina's racial heritage.

The rest of the time it gets brought up is when Jesper realizes the Sum Summoner they're after is half-Shu, when Alina "escapes" and gets harassed by a Ravkan soldier (which deserves a lot of side-eye), and when General Kirigan is looking for her. That's pretty much the extent of the character trait they added to Alina's character. I mean, sure, it allowed for the actress to ground Alina's backstory and why she was ostracized so much in the past--but it didn't really make an impact on the actual story being told.

What impact did the Sun Summoner being half-Shu have on the other characters? Especially the Grishas and the royal family? I hope this gets explored if the show gets renewed for a second season, because it didn't feel like it was a huge part of the show at all.

Then again, at least Alina had those little microaggressions? Mal's half-Shu heritage is only touched upon in the flashbacks when the other kids in the orphanage would pick on him. Which is, to be honest, the only thing remotely interesting about the character. Again, no offense to Archie Renaux who infuses Mal with so much charm and swagger--but Mal as a character is a non-entity. He exists to pine after Alina, to track a stag, and then to save Alina. He does nothing else. Not even the death of his two closest friends makes an impact on his character.

It is mind-boggling to see how a show this detailed would drop the ball on its two main characters. Especially since the rest of the characters are so rich:

General Kirigan, the bad guy, might have questionable goals but you understand who he is as a character because of the backstory he is given. You see his pain, his anguish, and you see his hope for the future. He is completely evil as well, but there is a clear progression of how he goes from wanting what's best for Grishas like him to who he becomes in the current timeline.

Nina Zenik only has a handful of scenes but we manage to learn more about who she is as a character in one scene than we do Alina for the whole series. Although I think it helps that actress Danielle Galligan has great chemistry with Calahan Skogman, the actor portraying her captor Matthias.

And then there are the scene-stealers: the Crows. They're introduced as pseudo villains but quickly become the actual stars of the show they're not even supposed to be in. Kaz Brekker is a deplorable degenerate who keeps his word, Inej Ghafa is a spy with an honor code and a complicated history, and Jesper Fahey is a narcissistic dandy who is quick on the draw and just as quick to love. And the best part about them? They are actual characters. Their backstories dictate how they act around each other, around other people, and how they are received. And they have character progression:

Kaz starts the series with one goal: to earn a million kruge so he could pay off one important debt. This goal propels him forward, but the events that he gets involved him changes him as a person, giving him leeway to choose a different path. Jesper doesn't have this season-long arc, but he does grow as a character as well--although in a more minimal way. And then there's Inej who, arguably, undergoes the biggest growth in the show.

It's funny how the characters who aren't even supposed to be in the show are the ones who have the best characterization and arc. No wonder people are raving more about them than the actual main characters of the story. Alina and Mal are cardboard cutouts compared to the complex Crows.

Which brings me to these questions: is this problem caused by the show being faithful to the source material? Whose idea was it to make Alina half-Shu, and why wasn't it integrated better into the story? Is there a chance that Alina and Mal will become better characters if a second season is produced? Or will the Crows become the actual leads of a follow-up season?

All of this said; I am curious to see how Shadow and Bone proceeds from this so I hope that Netflix renews it for a second season.

[trshmouth]

@upshuring​  said:  What's  one  habit  or  trait  of  each  of  the  Loser's  club  (past  or  present,  your  pick)  that  really  annoys  him,  and/or  one  he  admires  or  envies?  Maybe  it's  even  one  and  the  same?

oh  this  is  so  fun...  ok  letss...  hold  on.  this  will  just  be  from  a  like...  neutral  lens  without  taking  into  account  other  people  on  here  who  write  dynamics  w/  me  from  different  losers.  i’m  bad  with  habit  related  things,  but  we’ll  touch  on  some  general  traits.

          bill:       i  think  that...  richie,  like  much  of  the  losers  club,  has  a  lot  of  respect  and  admiration  for  bill.  especially  when  they’re  just  kids.  this  is  pretty  apparent  in  all  medias,  where  richie  will  say  something  a  bit  too  off-beat  and  then  bill  will  give  him  one  look  and  richie  says  something  like  ‘sorry  bill.  she’s  missing’  which  is  a  way  he  backs  down  to  almost  no  one  else.  anyway.......i  think  that  there  is  also  truth  in  the  fact  that  he  hates  it  when  bill  drags  them  around  on  what  richie  perceives  to  be  like...  some  big  crusade  that  a)  won’t  bring  back  georgie  and  b)  might  get  one  of  their  friends  killed.  i  often  think  of  richie  in  the  lancer  trope,  especially  next  to  bill,  and  therefore  i  think  they  provide  each  other  with  good  character  foils.  so  anyway,  richie  hates  when  he  perceives  bill  being  blind  to  a  situation’s  ramifications.  at  the  same  time,  he  still  really  admires  how  much  of  a  natural  leader  bill  is  and  how  brave  he  is  without...  really  having  to  “try”,  which  is  what  richie  is  always  doing  a  lot  of.  and  anyway,  richie  has  and  will  follow  bill  to  the  end  of  the  stupid  earth.

          bev:       richie  thinks  bev  is  simply  the  coolest.  he  admires  her  for  being  tough  and  funny,  and  probably  envies  both  those  things,  as  these  are  qualities  that  glow  off  her  pretty  genuinely.  bev  could  have  a  big  bruise  up  the  side  of  her  face  and  she  might  explain  it  off  as  no  big  thing.  bev  is  always  like,  brave  enough  to  do  the  right  thing.  and  anyway,  she  tolerates  a  lot  of  his  nonsense  and  has  the  sense  of  humour  to  play  along  with  him  sometimes,  and  he  trusts  her  in  a  unique  kind  of  way...  like  a  lil  nod  of  understanding  between  them.  like  she  knows  what  he’s  really  saying  under  a  joke.  like  if  she  knew  a  secret  of  his  it  was  safe  with  her.  in  terms  of  what  annoys  him,  i  don’t  think  there  is  a  substantial  thing  he’d  point  to.  when  he’s  a  kid  he  gets  mildly  snotty  about  her  natural  aptitude  at  like,  all  the  cool  stuff  (me  crying  thinking  abt  when  she  showed  him  all  the  yo-yo  tricks).  but  that  quickly  just  turns  into  admiration  as  well,  like  if  he  thinks  someone  is  cool  without  strings  attached  it’s  bev.

          eddie:       okay  well  these  two  met  and  became  elderly  florida  marrieds  almost  instantly,  because  they  can  both  be  so  particular.  richie  is  never  not  rolling  his  eyes  at  eddie’s  neurotic  ass,  but  also  feels  genuinely  strongly  over  how  eddie  lets  his  mom  convince  him  that  all  this  shit  is  wrong  with  him.  the  eddie  from  the  book  and  miniseries  i  feel  is  a  lot  more  soft  spoken  as  well,  so  in  general  i  think  richie’s  biggest  point  of  contention  is  that  eddie  perceives  himself  as  fragile  and  sometimes  weak,  because  that’s  what  people  around  him  have  said  all  his  life.  but  richie  knows  he’s  not,  knows  he  can  be  brave  and  strong  and  keep  up  with  everyone  else,  and  that’s  also  what  he  admires  about  him.  i  also  think  that  eddie  is  his  favourite  person  to  banter  at.  both  general  iterations  of  eddie  can  effectively  clown  on  richie  and  he  simply  loves  when  someone  is  capable  of  shutting  him  down.  eddie  gets  40000  affectionatemean  nicknames  for  a  reason.  richie  vc:  asshole    (dreamy,  in  love)

          mike:       okay  so  mike  and  richie  don’t  get  enough  interactions  in  my  opinion  but  also  in  my  opinion,  richie  respects  mike  in  a  similar  way  he  respects  bill.  hasn’t  known  him  as  long,  but  mike  is  genuinely...  good  in  a  way  that  richie  simply  cannot  clown  on.  and  cannot  relate  to,  because  richie  considers  himself  very  selfish.  probably,  he  thinks  that  it  was  kinda  weird  for  mike  to  stay  in  stupid  derry  and  become  like,  history  expert  of  stupid  derry.  he  genuinely  hates  that  mike  thinks  he  and  any  of  them  have  any  responsibility  toward  stupid  derry,  and  anyone  living  in  it.  but  similarly  with  bill,  it  translates  into  why  he  admires  mike...  mike  just  has  this  hardworking  sense  of  responsibility  about  him,  people  like  mike  because  he’s  kind  and  well  spoken,  and  he  doesn’t  have  to  pretend  about  any  of  it.  i  think  he  has  complicated  feelings  toward  mike  for  a  little  bit  after  stan  and  eddie.  for  a  while  he  struggles  with  the  fact  that  mike  would  call  them  at  all,  and  put  everyone  in  danger  like  that.  but  he  comes  to  understand  why,  and  in  the  end  he  loves  mike  too,  and  can’t  hold  it  against  him.

          ben:       so  we  lightly  bully  ben  because  ben  will  let  you  do  it,  and  richie  is  a  bit  of  a  goon  sometimes  as  we  know.  however!  richie  i  think  really  likes  the  way  ben’s  mind  works,  in  terms  of  how  ben  sees  information  and  creates  from  his  mind  (specifically  how  impressed  he  is  with  ben  building  the  dam  in  the  stream  at  the  barrens.)  he  bitches  about  the  clubhouse  because  he  is  ,  a  bitch,  but  i  think  he’s  genuinely  very  impressed  and  maybe  a  little  jealous  that  ben  can...  think  in  such  an  organized  way?  richie  is  smart,  but  not  in  the  same  way  ben  is,  so  it  interests  him  that  ben  can  pull  a  blueprint  out  of  his  head  like  that.  i  think  he  mainly  hassles  ben  for  being  too  nice  to  people,  letting  them  walk  all  over  him.  richie  is  like.  no!  at  least  pretend  ur  confident!  stop  letting  people  talk  shit  to  u.  stop  letting  me  talk  shit  to  u.  you  know?  and  it’s  because  he  thinks  ben  genuinely  has  such  a  good  heart  and  he  doesn’t  deserve  to  be  walked  on.  

          stan:       stan  the  man  the  myth  the  legend.  richie  is  also  such  a  goon  to  stan  sometimes,  as  a  long  time  best  friend  and  someone  who  is  such  a  complete  foil  to  his  own  persona.  he  hassles  stan  constantly  for  being  so  prim  and  neat  and  booooorrrinnnnnggg!!!  but  in  truth,  he  has  so  much  love  for  stan,  who  will  always  take  responsibility,  who  sticks  with  them  even  when  he’s  the  only  sane  one  in  the  room,  and  even  when  he’s  scared.  there’s  a  time  as  adults,  when  stan  obviously  doesn’t  show  up  with  them,  where  he’s  really  mad  at  him.  richie  perceives  that  stan  dipped  out  on  them,  or  took  the  easy  way  out  of  their  fight.  and  it’s  really  hard  for  him  to  deal  with,  until  he  finally  can  accept  that  stan  did  what  he  did,  and  in  doing  it  thought  he  was  doing  right  by  the  rest  of  the  losers.  and  in  the  end  that’s  what  stan  was  always  trying  to  do.  he  admires  the  way  stan  thinks,  perceives  in  a  way  that  always  seemed  a  lot  older  and  wiser  than  any  of  them  as  kids.  stan  was  someone  who  could  be  super  pragmatic  in  any  given  situation.  also  one  of  the  only  people  that  can  shut  richie  down  effectively.  he  bullies  stan  because  stan  just  tolerates  him  and  isn’t  even  affected,  but  hey  look.  he  loves  stanley.  

[gayathreya]

leftist suriya characters appreciation post

since soorarai pottru, been thinking more about all the explicit leftist characters suriya has played in his career. and i actually mean explicit - characters that are supported by the narrative framing and structure and not just my own headcanons and stuff or a throwaway generic goody-shoe typical hero line. i have been itching to talk about this cos it’s obviously in my field of interests

suriya has played 4 openly various brands of leftist now, and that’s pretty cool! i love that none of them are cookie cutter personalities of each other, they all have their own select trait. this post is a toast to them;

michael vasanth (ayutha ezhuthu, 2004)

vimalan (maattraan, 2012)

iniyan (thaanaa serndha koottam, 2018)

maara (soorarai pottru, 2020)

[small write up on each character with pics behind the cut]

*****

1. michael vasanth (ayutha ezhuthu, 2004)

so michael was his first, said to be inspired by an actual university popular marxist student leader, george reddy. michael is very obviously somewhere along these lines - he himself is within the film known as the leftist student leader on campus with a huge following, much to the chagrin of his professors who want to stamp that out of him. he’s openly engaged in campus politics as well as politics outside, and he’s most definitely no weak willed liberal because he has no problems with violence or direct action, which he organises. he organises villagers to stand against others on their own feet, never once preaches about lying down and taking it easy or playing polite. which was nice to see lol i hate liberals who have morals about property damage but in ayutha ezhuthu, michael clearly doesn’t give a fuck. he and his group break things and smash cars and lorries on their way and threaten physical violence on their opponents too which is the way it should be because to him human lives are worth more than any property or vehicular damage. he never shies away from that. hell yes to violence and structural damage!

probably the most definite trait of michael compared to other suriya leftist characters is that michael still believes in the establishment and electoral politics, which u don’t particularly see his other leftist ones talk about. but here, michael works within the system, and trusts it to bring change if u put in the effort into that. though, it’s not as frustrating as it sounds cos michael’s work is not geared towards other liberals, but in villages and rural districts where he goes to spread word, and makes them choose their own leadership to represent. it’s way more marxist aligned and ~rise of the proletariat~ here instead cos he bypasses liberal bougie nonsense and never once is his voice used for that, but used towards and for the working class directly to both take up arms and resist violently themselves + hold ranks for themselves and choose their own leaders to influence their local politics/protect their environment.  

michael is fundamentally very marxist, with a dose of direct action plus violent resistance if need be, and supports organised proletariat uprising within an established political system playing towards electoral politics

(of course, a point to note in why this isn’t as frustrating as it sounds as mentioned above is cos this film was released in 2004. would michael still believe in the establishment and electoral politics now? things in 2020 are very different with all of us more aware of things around us and globally, it’s definitely a debate to be held. i doubt he will, since he’s not a pacifist or liberal. he’d say fuck electoral politics, all my homies hate electoral politics)

2. vimalan (maattraan, 2012)

second very openly communist character he played. prob gone a bit forgotten for others since he does die halfway through the film (which itself isn’t a favourite of anyone either, fans or neutrals) rip but can’t go by without mentioning cos i remember liking this character a lot and i teared up in the cinema first watch when he died. i was mad they killed the suriya i loved instead of the other one whom i found annoying lmao

vimal supports workers’ strikes and unions against bosses, even when that boss is their own shitty father. this automatically makes him stand out instantly considering he is sympathetic to the working class despite at the cost of his father’s annoyance with him. he’s also the first character suriya plays who’s explicitly anti-capitalist with line(s) about it, since michael had no canon lines regarding capitalism from what i recall. vimal outright does.

the leftist imagery tied to vimal the most is che, which is a nice touch. his room has at least one poster of him, and his phone’s wallpaper is also him. u can also see bhagat singh and ho chi minh books on his shelf. so.. safe to claim where vimal’s political ideologies are. it’s both tied in pictures and him siding with workers for their rights against corporations, since he obviously likes revolutionaries. vimalan was a class traitor and a supporter of the working class poor bb tragically gone too soon. ilu u didn’t deserve your terrible fate, sweet commie good boi :(

3. iniyan (thaanaa serndha koottam, 2018)

iniyannnnnn i love him and i think it’s a suriya char with one of the best character arcs in his whole career. mostly cos he had a very distinct ‘’yes i want to work for the government and change things from within’’ phase which gets squashed over the course of the film. we see him start off obviously in a very blatantly communist neighbourhood in a song that is also very specifically anti-establishment/politicians with a lot of hard resistance vibes. the entirety of sodakku is a very good introduction to him and what he stands for - in general the film promises upon wealth disparity, useless bougie politicians, and the rest of us being crushed under them.

what happens to him at the end of the movie is FANTASTIC because he no longer gels with what he wanted at the start of the movie. iniyan’s key leftist trait to me is that he’s the most anarchist of suriya characters, varying from other leftist suriya characters. he refuses to work with government powers and authorities, he looks down on their entire establishment and institutions (he does not at the start of the film, which is vital cos again, he wanted to work alongside them at first), and depends more on the good will of individual people over job titles, while clearly engaging in mutual aid and distributing wealth. these are very distinct anarchist ideals. i’d still peg him as anarcho-communist but would say he leans more towards anarchy and progressing on mutual aid over official state resources or state people for any kind of positive change since his faith in them has pretty much diminished by the climax. he does not give a shit about politicians, cops, or any kind of authorities at all, leaving them in the dust to raise his black flag and do his own anarchist hot shit.

iniyan is a good example of an anarchist arc for me in tamil cinema in simple commercial terms without heading too deep into actual words and phrases in a big hero movie, cos it’s also very easy to explain to anyone the shift in his ideas and his eroding faith in institutions with power. good for him!

4. maara (soorarai pottru, 2020)

this should be fresh in everyone’s memory, but yes, a character who is obviously in your face about it since he has an actual line - ‘’you’re a socialite, i’m a socialist’’ which caused all of us with good taste to whoop and cheer. plus he was very sexy in this whole scene, so what a bonus. it’s the most explicit thing said by him in the film, but there are also other little things peppered into his speech and background imagery showing u the kind of person maara is.

he gets married to bommi in a self-respect wedding ceremony. no priests or any kind of traditional hindu iyers/chants involved. u see it clearly with a periyar pic hanging behind him explaining who he is. he wears black a lot in the film, which fits him being a periyarist so i’d label him as such and consider it his standout trait from other leftist characters suriya has played previously because this is the only character with explicit periyar symbolism (i kid u not i saw multiple sanghis being very angry suriya dressed in black in this movie and were harassing him on twitter constantly since sp released. die mad, uglies). obviously, this also fuses well with the little things we see of him implying he’s ~lower caste~ like his in-laws being embarrassed about him on behalf of their own caste, and paresh sanitising his hands after shaking hands with maara on the plane, which is not subtle at all and trademark casteist behaviour about touching someone ‘’lesser’’ than you and u view them as ‘’dirty’’ or beneath you. as well as maara’s remark about breaking the class and caste barrier during his radio interview. being a periyarist fits seamlessly.

there’s also a bts vid of suriya on his bike where you can see an ambedkar pic pasted onto the side. i can’t remember any scene in the film where u can see his bike from this angle but it doesn’t matter, cos u can definitely tell the kind of person maara is and how he was envisioned as a character - an explicit socialist and periyarist, with a natural fondness for ambedkar too since ofc they overlap as many do irl as well. it is very in tune with his background in the film and i liked seeing the tiny aspects of these things seeded within the movie throughout from beginning to end. it’s explicit in a way that isn’t jarring or artificial, and a nice layer to him and feel endeared to since maara is a great character. u support him all the way with him being unquestionable in his stance and ideology. the sexiest leftist suriya character, if i say so myself, ahem.

/////

5. ngk (ngk, 2019)

bonus: THIS IS IT. THE BIGGEST SIKE. THE BIGGEST WHIPLASH. THE BIGGEST BASTARD.

it’s here cos damn, when they released that first look, i completely lost my shit cos that poster was sooo heavily che inspired and very, very obviously marxist. cue me thinking that holy shit suriya is openly playing some kind of marxist guerilla revolutionary in ngk and he’s gonna be some brand of violent radical leftist i’m gonna fall in love with. the beret, the raised fists, the red.. i was ready to be head over heels for this guy.

except of course, none of this was true, cos once the film released, u know that poster was only meant to signify how his village looked up to him before he sold them all out. it’s literally just a mural on the wall where a kid stares up at him in a larger extended poster. he COULD have been that character, but ngk’s character arc was a negative character arc and his moral downfall from the start to the end of the film, sacrificing all he stood for to arrive at his end point which was just dragging his village and all the youngsters who believed in him to the pits before jumping party to the winning group and abandoning all of them after manipulating them to act in his favour to gain sympathy. not to mention, also selling out to corporate tools to harness their power and influence in order to rise to the top himself, something he very openly states at the beginning of the film to his mum and wife that working like that is no way to live. he has a full reverse by this point, compared to how ngk was introduced to us as an audience with that first look of him.

the marxist poster was a complete 180 to how ngk falls on the spectrum at the end, but it was a great ride nevertheless and at least one thing was still true - i still fell in love with him cos he was such an asshole bastard but still so hot i had to give in. biiiicchh. i love u, non-leftist regressive jerk. u may have pulled the biggest sike on me, but.. my heart is yours, slut <3

*****

ok that’s really it and all i wanted to say so hopefully at least a few people read this lmafooo. i do think these characters and time have sort of seeped into suriya over the years as evident by his shifting left in the last couple of years, and openly also saying he has had a lot of perspective changes on things around him. he has been noted in recent interviews saying stuff like how he’s in favour of a cashless society, talking about a whole new level of poverty class being created during this pandemic. his written articles/statements/agaram related speeches takes jibes at india’s education system being brahministic/casteist in nature and how it creates barriers for the lowest strata of society while also being very sensitive about student suicides, showing understanding of it as a systematic failure and not an individual one, courts not functioning for justice, not demonising protests as it’s the only act left for the voiceless, etc. it’s nice. i wouldn’t go as far as to call him a leftist until he proves that to me (suriya is still very much in that liberal zone of appreciating the police and military institutions so i will never consider him one of us until he sheds these allegiances and rethinks his stance on them in society), but i’d say he’s definitely the furthest left of all prominent actors in tamil cinema as no one else really has said or written the things that he has, for which i’m very proud of him.

so keep up the good work and hot shit comments and ballsy articles, suriya, i look forward to u shifting further left and pissing off everyone from right wing patriotic assholes, to centrist bootlickers, and even cowardly liberal pacifists. i believe in u and i hope he crosses that steep liberal curve soon since we were all there at some point as well.

that’s all goodbye i love suriya thanks for reading 

[toyhenoctus]

Character Sheet: Boaz

Also featuring human!Boaz, whose name is Belle

Character Chart 

Character’s full name: Boaz

Reason or meaning of name: The prince of men / Another fantasy name

Character’s nickname: Bo and The Brawler

Reason for nickname: Bo is used frequently by friends and The Brawler was given by the party

Birth date: 7/13

Rest under the cut

Physical appearance

Age: 23

How old does he/she appear: 25

Weight: 210 lbs.

Height: 6’ 4”

Body build: Mesomorph - Athletic

Shape of face: Square/Heart

Eye color: Amber

Glasses or contacts: N/A

Skin tone: Forest green

Distinguishing marks: Freckles, pierced horn and long braid

Predominant features: Easy smile

Hair color: Brown

Type of hair: Fine

Hairstyle: Fringe styled up and back, rest is gathered back tightly into a long plait

Voice: Deep and smoky

Overall attractiveness: 6/10

Physical disabilities: N/A

Usual fashion of dress: Sleeveless vest and undershirt, belt, loose trousers, knee high, steel tipped boots and wrappings

Favorite outfit: The pirate outfit

Jewelry or accessories: Two gold rings adorning her right horn

Personality

Good personality traits: Brave, loyal, charismatic

Bad personality traits: Impulsive, naive, emotional

Mood character is most often in: Happy

Sense of humor: Childish; highly amused by body humor

Character’s greatest joy in life: Realizing that she’s fallen in love

Character’s greatest fear: Being seperated from her family and friends

Why? She loves the party like her brother and sister

What single event would most throw this character’s life into complete turmoil? Losing Nia, which it did

Character is most at ease when: She’s cracking jokes with her friends

Most ill at ease when: She feels hopeless

Enraged when: Something threatens Nia

Depressed or sad when: Seeing her sister struggle with communication

Priorities: Saving Nia and Kade

Life philosophy: GO BIG OR GO HOME!

If granted one wish, it would be: To have met her parents

Why? She’s always wanted to know what they were like

Character’s soft spot: Nia

Is this soft spot obvious to others? Yes

Greatest strength: Charisma

Greatest vulnerability or weakness: Naivete and true combat inexperience

Biggest regret: Trusting Aerin

Minor regret: Being so mean to Mal in the beginning

Biggest accomplishment: Learning and mastering new spells

Minor accomplishment: Learning sign language for her sister

Past failures he/she would be embarrassed to have people know about: Oh, there are many

Why? She was a gangly, clumsy and destructive kid

Character’s darkest secret: Nothing heinous

Does anyone else know? N/A

Goals

Drives and motivations: To become a world famous adventurer and hero

Immediate goals: Destroying the Shadow Court

Long term goals: Mastering more magic and learning more about orcs

How the character plans to accomplish these goals: By grabbing the Dread Lord by the balls

How other characters will be affected: Everyone will be better for it if the Shadow Court is destroyed

Past

Hometown: Riverbend

Type of childhood: Messy but loving

Pets: N/A

First memory: Getting taken in by humans with Kade

Most important childhood memory: Breaking the family dinner table in half

Why: It was the first time and really realised that she was different from humans

Childhood hero: Mostly likely some human adventurer

Dream job: Adventurer/Hero

Education: Average literature and arithmetic as well as nature studies

Religion: N/A

Finances: N/A

Present 

Current location: Riverbend

Currently living with: Urzhug and Kade

Pets: N/A

Religion: N/A

Occupation: Fledgling adventurer

Finances: She would help Urzhug dress her kills

Family

Mother: Hestia

Relationship with her: Never knew her

Father: Killian Corsair

Relationship with him: Never met

Siblings: Probably a half sibling or two out there by Killian and Urzhug and Kade

Relationship with them: Very close with Urzhug and Kade

Spouse: Not yet :D

Relationship with him/her: N/A

Children: N/A

Relationship with them: N/A

Other important family members: N/A

Favorites 

Color: Yellow

Least favorite color: Purple

Music: Human music

Food: Stew

Literature: She likes heroic fiction

Form of entertainment: Pranks and music

Expressions: “Oh, I’ve got this!”

Mode of transportation: On foot

Most prized possession: The Gauntlet of Pain

Habits

Hobbies: Pulling pranks, flirting and mixing poultices

Plays a musical instrument? Yes, the lute

Plays a sport? Probably

How he/she would spend a rainy day: Playing her lute

Spending habits: She’s mostly frugal with Urzhug’s help

Smokes: No

Drinks: Yes, though not much

Other drugs: No

What does he/she do too much of? Think ahead

What does he/she do too little of? Clean up after herself

Extremely skilled at: Grappling, foraging and healing

Extremely unskilled at: Swordsmanship, archery and equestrianism

Nervous tics: Shuffling of her feet

Usual body posture: Shoulders back but typically relaxed

Mannerisms: Wide and graceless

Peculiarities: She takes her hair down and rebraids it before bed and when she wakes up

Traits 

Optimist or pessimist? Optimist

Introvert or extrovert? Extrovert

Daredevil or cautious? Daredevil 

Logical or emotional? Emotional

Disorderly and messy or methodical and neat? Very messy

Prefers working or relaxing? A balance of both

Confident or unsure of himself/herself? Confident

Animal lover? Yes

Self-perception 

How he/she feels about himself/herself: She’s quite self assured

One word the character would use to describe self: Spectacular

What does the character consider his/her best personality trait? Bravery

What does the character consider his/her worst personality trait? Impulsiveness

What does the character consider his/her best physical characteristic? Her eyes

What does the character consider his/her worst physical characteristic? Her teeth

How does the character think others perceive him/her: Unusual

What would the character most like to change about himself/herself: She wishes her tusks were smaller like humans

Relationships with others

Opinion of other people in general: Naively positive

Does the character hide his/her true opinions and emotions from others? No

Person character most hates: Aerin

Best friend(s): Particularly Urzhug, Kade, and Mal

Love interest(s): Nia

Person character goes to for advice: Imtura and Tyril

Person character feels responsible for or takes care of: Kade 

Person character feels shy or awkward around: She isn’t shy with anyone

Person character openly admires: Skullcrusher

Person character secretly admires: Imtura

Most important person in character’s life before story starts: Urzhug and Kade 

After story starts: Nia

[lgvalenzuela]

45,34,30,15 and 2 for morgana and 13,8, and 29 for mercy pls ( I really love ur kids and ur art I swear I'll draw them one day) -scarlettroubles

This means a lot to me, I hope I can draw your kids too, they're fantastic 🥺🖤🖤🖤

Morgana

2. What house are they in and why do they belong there?

Morgana is a Ravenclaw/Hufflepuff hatstall actually, in her family on her mother's side most of them are hatstalls. It sure surprise people that she isn't a Hufflepuff, she is hard working, patient, fair, loyal and modest. But for her it was more about who she wanted to be instead of who she was, she is wise, creative, accepting and has a passion for learning, but also she thinks her intelligence and wisdom come from, funnily enough, her Hufflepuff traits, from her empathy and kindness.

15. Worst school subjects?

Catch Morgana crying because her parents are a professional Quidditch player and an Auror and the two things she can for the life of me do is fly and duel.

Listen, listen, you can drop out flying in year 2, but Morgana was so disastrous Hooch gave her a permit to drop out three months in so she wouldn't die.

Her other worst subject is DADA, she has a plan for everything so she has that going for her, but she is weak and she doesn't have time to plan for anything, also she gets particularly anxious in class surrounded by people, and that doesn't help.

30. What has been their biggest challenge at Hogwarts yet?

(Keeping Mercy and Damien alive)

The first time was in year 5, Morgana isn't strong like her friends (mood sis) but she cares a lot, and she is very smart so what she does to protect her friends is make a plan a, b, c and all the letters that are needed. But in year 5 Rakepik made all the plans, and expent the entire year gaslighting her making her seem useless, and unneeded. That carried on from the betrayal to the next year, where Damien was the angriest he'd ever been and not dealing with it well, Mercy transformed into a werewolf, and Rowan almost died (they're alive in my AU)

Rowan always helped her with the research, and Mercy and Damien always supported her, it started to feel like she was completely alone, and all this plus her already dealing with mental illness, she just had a complete breakdown, she passed out, out of seer exhaustion, she didn't want to let anyone in, her powers were out of control.

Barnaby had a very serious talk with her, where he made her deal with the fact that if she didn't take care of herself she couldn't take care of others, and she was as deserving of love and help as she believed everyone else to be.

34. What's their theme song?

Here!

(Also here in the romance department cause as a shamless shipper I can’t help myslef)

45. What quote best defines them?

“I shall pass through this world but once. Any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer it or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again”

Stephen Grellet

Mercy

8. Is there anyone in Hogwarts they can't stand?

Oh dear, evryone thinks she’s a cinnamon roll because she surround herself with people she likes and the bitchy side doesn’t come out as much. Oh no, Mercy is distrustful, and if she doesn’t like you she’s not going to beat around the bush, she doesn’t have time for people she doesn’t like?

she actually had a pretty bad relationship with Rowan for a long time, until year 6, they’re very different and she kinda felt like they were forcing themleves into her life, trying to hard to be her best friend. Of course she hates Emily Tyler, but that’s an obvious. She does’t like Alanza much. Hope the guys that make gross comments about Morgana because she’s a pretty girl are ready for a fight cause she uses her fists more than her words.

And she doesn’t like some teachers, she doesn’t know why Binns is a teacher, she’d fight Trelawney for making her friends anxious, she doesn’t respect Dumbledore, and of course, the crown of the person she hates the most in the world goes to Snape, he treats his students like crap, he’s a bad person in general, and on top of that he knew her moter in Hogwarts and was directly responsible for her expulsion, so as his student, she decided to be the worst student possible for him (and set his cloak on fire whenever she can)

13. What are their talents? Mundane or magical

Cooking, specially sweets, her cookies are so good they make people cry

Animal rearing, although shes better with normal animals

Surviving in the wild, she knows a lot about herbology and nature

Dueling and fighting

Quidditch

29. What's their wand type? What does it symbolize about them?

Rowan wood

Abraxam feather

30 cm

Slightly yielding

Rowan wands generally produce powerful, hard to break Defensive charms. Rowan wands were also noted for its believed disassociation with the Dark arts. Perhaps for these reasons, Rowan has become associated with pure-hearted wizards, though Ollivander noted that Rowan wands can also match or even outperform others in duels.

Wands with an Abraxam feather core are more well suited for defensive magic, but for that, first you have to win it’s loyalty and tame it, which is not an easy task, maybe it’s because of that that they favor forceful and stubborn owners

Slightly yielding wands will initially resist new owners, but if the owner is persistent, it will warm up eventually. It is particularly good for animal-taming and defensive magic, although it may have a bit of difficulty with nonverbal magic. Wand owners with slightly yielding wands are often very kind and compassionate, but they may have some reluctance trusting others since they possess a strong sense of skepticism. It usually takes a lot of strong arguing before the owner of this wand will believe claims that don’t make any sense to them.

Mercy is a protector, sometimes annoyingly so, very overprotective when she’s at her worse. She’s a force to be wreckoned with, she solves most problems by punching them in the face, or if she hasn’t forgotten her wand, dueling them. She’s stubborn and dsitrustful of others, but extremly loyal and loving when she actually comes to like you.

[shibalen]

💥hewwo can I pwease get a romantic male matchup for bnha (darkbox bc I live for angst) (music box) when you have the time uwu

Levi he/him gay entp supposedly (also if it's not too much to ask please no characters under the age of 18 please)

I've been described as having a strong and loud personality, I'm extroverted and outspoken. I'm pretty eccentric too.

I value friendship, kindness and standing up for others.

Goal wise I'm pretty aimless. I dont have any goals, if I die well I guess that's it babey. In the meantime I'm just here to help animals and people who need it.

Positive traits: I always stick up for people in need, I'm good at reading people, I'm good with animals, I love to make people smile and laugh, cheerful, good at talking my way out of bad situations, uhm. Friendly!

Negative traits would be: hot headed, loud, stubborn, arrogant, comes across as intimidating:( good at getting into bad situations, gets into fights very often. Can be spiteful, I've been described as a pyromaniac so theres that. Can be sadistic

What pisses me off: my father. I can and will cause trouble for that man for as long as I live. And people who pick on the weak.

My hobbies and interests areeee: true crime babey! Crying over video games, baking, the occult, taking naps, dream interpretations and tarot readings

Likes: animals, cats specifically, stars, fire, sunsets, supposedly haunted places, storms, being dramatic for the hell of it, tormenting people in a good hearted way

Dislikes: uhhhh hot weather I guess.

Quirks: uh I have 5 cats! Ones my fathers but he never takes care of his cat so i pretty much count him as my own (plus he likes me more than my dad and it pisses my dad off hehe) I have weirdly accurate intuition, it makes reading people easy, knowing what they want to hear and what they dont.

Uhhh dates and relationship wise I'm honestly happy doing whatever my s/o wants to do. All I want is to see their face light up.

My love language is physical touch, I dont like touching people but if it's someone I feel strongly about youd have to pry me away from them.

I once got kicked out of a library for starting a fight in it, trashy I know but I wasnt going to stand there and do nothing while my friends were being bullied and pressured into getting involved with a really dodgy man. I scared the bullies off for good at least B) they never bothered my friend again babey

Oh I'm also known around the area I live in as someone who's good at finding homes of lost pets. Often times I come across a lost animal and befriend it in no time and use my connections to find its family.

Sorry if this was rly long and thank you for your time!! I hope you have a fantastic day uwu if anything's too difficult to come up with ideas for I'm more than happy for you to change anything to make it easier for you too!

♡︎ matchup for anon

heya! here i am with another late matchup but i hope you still see this. i'm sorry about the delay (╯_╰)

bnha: i match you with . . .

natsuo todoroki !!

• this was one of those "heureka!" moments for me. you both hate your dads and hot weather? it's a match made in heaven! okay jk, these are just nice add-ons.

• what really made me consider Natsuo were your values and personality. kindness and friendships are important to both of you. Natsuo's a medical student so i am convinced helping others is high on his priority list too. he loves your driven and passionate nature because he doesn't go sugarcoating bs either.

• you're definitely the more energetic one while Natsuo only gets hot-headed about the things that are the most important to him. i think it's a good compromise, you can help each other out :)

• he was a little taken aback and cautious of your explosiveness at first but warmed up to it quickly after learning what a kind person you really were. now he thinks your dramatic attitude is funny during your sillier moments ٩(◕‿◕｡)۶

• speaking of, you lads met at an animal shelter. there had been a dog that was astray in the neighbourhood of his home, so Natsuo, being a responsible boyo, took it to the local shelter.

• then there you were, standing by the help desk with five kittens wrapped in your jacket in your arms. apparently someone had been trying to drown them so you'd taken care of the situation accordingly.

• Natsuo understood jumping into a lake to rescue the poor animals because he would have done the same, but you could have had just called the police?? it was extremely ridiculous but admirable at the same time to beat all those guys up.

• your chat turned into a pleasant conversation afterwards as you were waiting for the animals to finish their check-ups. Natsuo was a bit shy but you didn't mind and kept the chat going which he appreciated.

• later he volunteered to help you look for good homes for the animals you'd both found. during this project the two of you got to know each other quite well and ended up hanging out together afterwards!

• and from that point on, everything fell into place naturally. the growing spark between you was undeniable and you both knew it. Natsuo definitely liked you longer, he was just a lil dense about it . . .

• you're nothing short of a hero in his eyes but dear lord he worries for you. when he's attending lectures he sometimes can't help but wonder if you're all right and not getting involved in anything violent.

• attends to your possible injuries while nagging you not to be so quick to start a fight next time. in return, you playfully bully him for being such a mom.

• you join forces with Fuyumi to pick on him about your relationship. even though you're already together, soft Natsuo still blushes when his affection for you is brought up, it's entertaining for both you and Fuyumi.

• idk if you've heard but Natsuo's 181cm tall!! hugging someone has never been easier even if you happen to be taller than him. the only thing is his skin's naturally kind of chilly so he's lowkey worried if you dislike it but you always assure him he's perfect!

• one time he was stressed over exams so you baked him some blueberry muffins. he gave you the biggest hug and kiss because it's exactly all these little things you do that set his heart racing for you ♡︎

• "last night i saw a dream about being a frog and eating giant flies, it was gross."

• "oh, that just means your love life is about to become fun."

• "i'm not sure how those two are related."

• "just trust me. i'm a pro at this."

• he also likes giving you headpats as much as he likes receiving them! his hands are quite big so he often runs his fingers through your hair when you're cuddling or hugging. it's especially relaxing after a long period of studying. also him carring you on his broad back ԅ(￣ε￣ԅ)

• you enjoy the little things in life and complain about your fathers together. you've agreed to wait a while before even mentioning your relationship to them because, honestly, Natsuo doesn't want any more horrible influences in your life.

• you get him sucked into the world of video games. it's always fun to watch him struggle but he never gets salty about losing maybe a lil he adores your smile as you laugh at him for being so bad at them.

• your dates include: helping out at animal shelters and retirement homes, video game and movie nights (especially about true crime), arcades and astronomy tower explorstions. i feel like Natsuo's more into traditional, romantic and chill dates and that's your usual thing. though i see sometimes you going to get coffee and ending up solving a 50-year-old murder case instead (✧ω✧)

❦︎ ink box

— despite Natsuo's best efforts to distance himself from Endeavor, it wasn't quite as easy and everyone was very much aware of the Todoroki family. and now the son of the number 1 hero had a lover.

— it wasn't actually that troublesome at first. some newpaper paparazzi occasionally annoyed you but you didn't care for them. most of the time Natsuo and you had your peace during dates aside from a few casual fans.

— but of course there are all sorts of people out there, some out for revenge, some for money, and being desperate means using even the lowest of methods to get what you want.

— so one time it happened, and it was all that took. several bitter villains thought they'd get their revenge through you, silly as it may sound. they made a big show of kidnapping you and demanding Endeavor to 'make up' for his wrongdoing. but all got resolved thanks to heroes, the only casualty being Natsuo's heart from almost exploding from worry and his deepening hatred for his father.

— later on, it wasn't that Natsuo was worried about you not being able to handle yourself, he feared what might happen if more of powerful villains came after you.

— so, after some debate, you agreed not to meet up for a short while to let the fuse of the incident settle down. it would be safer once the media forgot about it. you still texted and chatter over phone though!

— but then a week turned into two weeks, then into a month. you were wondering what was taking Natsuo to say the coast was clear and did a straight-up inquiry through a video chat.

— you could see he was restless the entire time. he said you should wait longer just to be sure everything was calm before meeting up. you became irritated because he was obviously lying and not being his normal, brutally honest self.

— why was he giving you this crap straight to your face?

— truthfully, Natsuo hadn't been sleeping all right recently. ever since that day he had reoccurring nightmares about something awful happening to you. they were just dreams, he knew. yet considering his ruffled up past and the frequency of those horrible visions, it would have been lie to say he was unaffected.

— paranoia just wouldn't leave him alone, and no matter how much he wanted to hold you in his arms again and hated making up stupid excuses, the voice at the back of his mind whispered this was for the best.

— after a month and a half had passed you've had just about enough, however. whatever reason he was keeping you in the dark for did no longer stop you from crashing into his house and demanding the truth.

— Natsuo knew you and expected this to eventually happen. after you made such a powerful entrance though he also knew there was no getting around it this time. really, it was comforting knowing you cared so deeply.

— he told you exactly what had been happening and you resisted the urge to punch him in the arm for having such a mindset. but the look in his beautiful grey eyes was so heartbreaking you threw yourself to embrace him instead. your touch was everything Natsuo had craved for for all this time.

— you skillfully assured him for the next couple of hours while keeping the talk light-hearted (he had obviously been overthinking way too much already). soon enough the issue was resolved and you had a sleepover right there to make uo for the lost time (Shoto and Fuyumi kept eavesdropping on you because y'all were being way too loud in a cute way).

— "i love you, Natsu, but if you ever keep something like this a secret from me again, i can't guarantee the safety of your arm or your front door."

♫︎ music box

— If I Had An Airplane by SayWeCanFly

— This December by Rick Montgomery

— Round & Laundry from Carole and Tuesday

— Haven't Had Enough by Marianas Trench

— Bowie On The Radio by Ryan McMullan

♡︎ runner up: Dabi / Touya Todoroki

thank you for requesting, hopefully you enjoyed this! i'm really pleased about matching you with Natsuo, it's just so perfect. have a lovely day and remember to take care of yourself ♡︎