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#There goes his peace and quiet
arsenicflame · 13 days
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Bootblacking is my favourite kink to give Izzy, because of course this guy would get his rocks off doing precise, repetitive, manual labour. OF COURSE he gets off on what is essentially just another chore on his list.
#this is genuine btw#i think it fits his character so wonderfully#taking this time to relax & forget about everything else. to kneel at his lovers feet and fall into a sort of trance doing the same motion#over and over. the satisfaction of a task well done.#i also think he often struggles to calm his brain down- too busy thinking about what still needs doing and what could go wrong-#so he finds it hard to allow himself the time to truly relax. something like bootblacking lets him feel like hes doing something while also#getting to have that moment of peace he so desperately needs#nyxtalks#ofmd#our flag means death#izzy hands#israel hands#nsft#a little. mostly to be safeeeeee#thinking about ed tricking him into it when they were younger- after they got their own ship they stopped having time to be kids#and izzy got so anxious about the whole deal. its not that he pulled away from ed; hes still just as present as ever when ed wants him#but he never sits in the captains cabin in the evening. he never stops. the second theres a moment of pause hes onto the next task#and eds boots do need dealing with. so ed frames it as something he needs izzy to do for him. sit there while ed works out their next move#the cabins only small so izzy takes the floor while ed works at the desk- better to keep the mess away from the maps anyway#and ed chatters as he thinks about where theyre going; just mindless noise that izzy doesnt need to really listen to.#and the brush is moving in his hands and its calm and. his brain goes quiet for the first time in months#(ed notices this obviously)#(hes gonna start making izzy do this every couple months)#(this is the real reason he wears so much leather- gotta get a rota going!)
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darlingsart · 3 months
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Haven’t posted anything on this blog in a while so have a little wip I’ve been working on! Achilles and the kids barging into Patroclus’ study while he’s (trying) to work lol
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intertexts · 4 months
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gm!!!!!
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auphelia · 2 months
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What do you spend your days thinking about when you've all but forgotten yourself and how to interact with the world around you?
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imaginaryberries · 1 year
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Things they don’t teach you in prenatal classes:
- how to wean your child off the dummy when they’ve suddenly massively increased their need for it due to starting nursery and being ill but they’re getting a bit older now and you’re worried about their teeth but sometimes it is the only thing that will calm them down when they are upset, other than screen time which you are also worried about
- how to reduce screen time when they’ve got used to having a lot because they’ve been unwell for two weeks and so have you but if you turn it off they scream and cry for it and also they will not eat without it
- how to re-expand food choices after they would only eat yoghurt and croissants because of - you guessed it - illness, and they wouldn’t eat anything at all for a while so you were initially thrilled they would even eat these things but now they won’t eat anything else
- all of the above not even being as simple as following generally accepted guidelines because you’re pretty sure your child is neurodivergent
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uranium · 1 year
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running into a brick wall at full speed and giving myself permanent brain damage because me and my crush feels exactly like beastars legoshi and haru and i need to blow myself up badly
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onismdaydream · 4 months
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thinking about perv yuji (like i always do) who sneaks into your room when you're sleeping because the panties he stole no longer smell like you or your laundry detergent. they feel nice around his cock, sure, but he wants to smell you, wants to pretend he can taste you. so he goes to get new ones. he even sees a pair that doesn't look familiar from when he looks up your skirts (he swears he doesn't mean to, it's just that your skirts are so short and well, he's right there...)
he takes them in his hand, feels the smooth and silky fabric and thumbs at the little bow. they're cute. he hopes you don't mind if he borrows them for a bit.
but then you stir. a quiet rustle of sheets and a soft groan as you get comfortable, but yuji's perks up at the sound. his gaze actually settles on you, now that his eyes are adjusted, and he feels his cock twitch at the sight. you just look so peaceful and pretty.
and of course he can't help it if his eyes drift down to see your body. the tank top is loose on you, enough that yuji can get a good look at your cleavage. that's one thing he wishes you would show off more — he'd love to get a more accurate representation of you in his mind when he jacks off.
another quiet noise and his gaze moves back to your lips, slightly parted and so damn kissable. if only yuji could feel your soft lips against his...
against his better judgement, yuji takes his cock out, promising himself he can only look. he strokes himself as he watches you sleep, getting himself to full hardness. he knows he has to be quick and quiet — there's no way he could talk himself out of the situation if you woke up. but the sight of his leaking tip so close to your pretty mouth makes him dizzy.
it takes a pathetically short amount of time before he cums in his hand, a few drops falling to the floor of your bedroom. you're still blissfully unaware of what your friend is doing, still in a deep sleep as he carefully swipes his thumb along your bottom lip. a small smear of his cum for you to taste when you wake up.
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springtyme · 3 months
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𝐎𝐮𝐭 𝐎𝐟 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 ♡ 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟏
𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖! 𝟏𝟖+ 𝐌𝐃𝐍𝐈
Simon catching baby fever, but you’re only roommates...
141 masterlist (there'll be a part two of this)
Before you, the only time Simon really left his flat when he was home on leave was to go to the gym or to go get groceries. 
He was content with this routine, he found comfort in the familiarity of it, and enjoyed the peace and quiet of his own space. Or at least that is what he told himself. This way of life had been sufficient for him for a long time, but as time went on he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was missing. 
That is when Simon found himself considering the idea of getting a flatmate. He thought about it for a while, weighing the pros and cons in his mind. On one hand, he enjoyed his independence and privacy. On the other hand, having someone else around the flat could be a good thing, and he does have an extra bedroom in the flat that’s just collecting dust. Maybe it would be a good idea… Maybe.
After much contemplation, Simon finally decided to take the plunge and start looking. He posted an ad online, and waited for responses to come in. To his surprise, he received a good handful, he had actually not anticipated that that many, if any, would be interested in sharing his space. It is a little overwhelming, and as he goes through the applications he starts to doubt whether he had made the right decision. 
What if he didn’t get along with any of them? What if they were messy or loud or just generally annoying? It was a dumb idea to begin with, he thought to himself, but then as he looked through the last application, something caught his eye.You. 
You seemed responsible, tidy, and overall like someone he could get along with. But there was something more about you that intrigued him. Maybe it was the way you wrote about your love for cooking and how you were looking for a quiet and peaceful place to call home. Or maybe it was the photo you attached to your application, a warm smile on your face that made Simon feel at ease. 
Maybe this could work out after all. 
And work out it did, maybe a little too well. It has now been a little over a year since you moved in, and despite Simon being gone on deployment more often than not the two of you have become very close. You cook meals together. You watch movies on lazy nights, where you will sometimes fall asleep on the couch, your lashes kissing your cheek as the soft glow of the tv illuminates your face, and Simon can’t help but feel a warmth in his heart as he tucks the fluffy blanket, that you had brought with you when you moved in, over your sleeping form.
After you moved in, his flat feels more like a home than it ever had before. It’s like you were always meant to be there, filling up the empty space in his life that he didn’t even realise was there. 
There is something so oddly domestic about all the small things you do together – sharing a cup of tea in the evenings as you talk about your day, or even playfully arguing over who gets to do the dishes that night, even though he secretly never actually minds doing them. 
Pushing the trolley down the aisles of the supermarket as the two of you do the big shop together on Sundays are one of his favourites, though. Because he knows what it looks like from the outside – just a couple doing their weekly grocery shopping. The only thing that would make the scene even more picturesque would be with a little baby in the trolley, a perfect blend of the two of you, giggling and reaching out to try and grab for the items on the shelves as you both laugh and try to keep them entertained.
These thoughts will sometimes sneak into Simon’s mind, and he will quickly shake them away, reminding himself that it is just his imagination running wild. He can’t think like that, it isn’t fair to you or to himself. But still, the idea lingers in the back of his mind, growing stronger with each passing day.
It has started to get harder and harder to ignore these thoughts, these feelings. He tries to push them away, to bury them deep down, but they keep resurfacing. He never really expected to feel this way about you, about anyone, really. But now that he has you in his life, so close yet so far from what he actually wants to be he can’t help but dream about a different life, to have a family, a future, a life outside of the military and his flat.
Suddenly, Simon starts to notice more and more babies around him. Whether it’s at the park when he is on his runs, in Tesco, or even on TV, they seem to be everywhere. And each time he sees a baby, his heart aches with longing. It doesn’t help that your neighbours just had a baby, and he has to watch you coo over the little boy every chance you get. It is like a knife twisting in his chest, knowing that he will never have that with you.
It has always been a secret desire of his, a wish he knew he would never be worthy of having fulfilled. And yet, it linger in the depths of his heart, elusive and shimmering like a mirage in the desert. The dream of someday having a family of his own, of doing things right, of breaking the cycle he had grown up in. After meeting you, his dreams became more vivid, more concrete. 
He has fallen in love with you, and that scares the living daylights out of him. He never thought he would be in this situation, especially after all the sick shit he has been through. But here you are, filling up the empty space in his heart, making him yearn for a life he never thought he could have.
But Simon is good at keeping his emotions in check, so he continues to play his part, to act like everything is okay, like he doesn’t feel this overwhelming love for you that threatens to consume him. 
But late at night, Simon lies awake in bed, when he is sure you’re sleeping and he is staring at the ceiling, his heart feels heavy with the weight of his unspoken feelings. 
And when he tries to decompress, by fisting his aching cock in his hand, guilty thoughts of you will flood his mind, making him ache with longing. 
He knows it’s wrong, he knows he shouldn’t be thinking of you in that way. But the images of you, of your smile, of your laughter, of your kindness, they linger in his mind, fueling his desires. The way you smile and laugh and light up his life in ways he never thought possible, it fuels a fire within him so all consuming, so intense, that he can’t help but give in to it, even if just in the confines of his own mind.
And as he strokes himself, he can’t help but imagine what it would be like to have you in his bed, to feel your touch, to hear your moans of pleasure. He imagines what it would be like to hold you close, to feel your warmth against his skin, to hear you whisper words of love and affection in his ear. To have you beg for him to fill your womb and mark himself as yours. He would love it – to pump you so full with his cum, for it to take root, to see your body change with his child, to create a life with you, to have a family of his own. 
He will have to bite down on his own hand to stifle his groans and to stop himself from moaning your name out loud. It’s a dangerous game he plays in the silence of the night, as he knows that these feelings, these desires, can never be acted upon. But still, he can’t help but indulge in these fantasies, in these dreams of a life that he may never have.
And as he lies in his bed after, spent and worn, a sense of guilt wash over him. He knows that it’s wrong to have these thoughts about you. But he can’t help it, he can’t control it, and as he lies in the darkness of his bedroom, he can’t help but feel the sting of longing in his chest, knowing that you lie in your own bed just down the hall, so close yet so far away.
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cloudbattrolls · 1 year
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Jamie is the worst person in this plot on an ethical level but Process is more untrustworthy because while they cannot technically lie they will mislead people, just as they did to Chimer when she assumed they hadn’t talked to Jamie, and just as they do with Jamie while they pretend to be fully honest with him.
Jamie is a bastard, but his goals are straightforward; catch a guy, study a guy for science and profit, get his company back.
He also genuinely tried to communicate with Chimer, and would have if Process had not blocked him from doing so.
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yawnderu · 7 months
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Simon lets out a deep chuckle as he sees your daughter pick flowers from the light, clean grass, her tiny hands barely even managing to gather enough strength to get the stems out of the ground.
“C'mon, that's enough.” His voice is patient, calloused hands picking his daughter up as he brings her up to his chest, a small smile when he sees her holding onto the flowers for dear life, giggles leaving her lips as he starts bouncing her while they walk.
It became a routine, in a way, for Simon to bring his daughter whenever he visits his family. She's too young to understand, so pure, so untainted from the dangers of the world, always kept safe by Simon and you, yet he can't fight off the urge to make his family see her.
He walks for a few minutes, enjoying the chilly air while his daughter cuddles up to him, one of her tiny hands gripping his jacket, while the other one is still holding onto the flowers. He stops in front of a set of four graves, the familiar pit of dread setting deep within him starts to come out, shaky hands managing to gently put the little girl down on the cold ceramic.
Mrs. Riley.
If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever.
Simon was hiding his hurt quite well, managing to sit down next to his little girl, one hand on her back as she started crawling around, finally setting the flowers down.
“Mum?” His voice is quiet, almost cracking, as if he was the scared little boy his mother defended with her life. His daughter looks up at him with curious brown eyes, sitting down and entertaining herself with her own onesie.
“I remember telling you I'd never settle down because I could never get as lucky as Tommy and Beth...” He dragged out, gaze going down to the ring on his finger, the physical representation of your union.
“You've met my wife before, and now I want you to see my kid too.” He's barely managing to speak, words coming out rough and choked up as his hand caresses his daughter's thin hair, making him pause just to examine her features. She's a tiny carbon copy of him, a lovely nose and a set of brown eyes that will never see the horrors he lived.
“She's a proper daddy's girl, but you would've loved each other.” He's sure of it. His mum was always so lovely, so nurturing. A true angel on earth with way too much forgiveness and patience for her own good.
He picks his daughter up, planting a soft kiss on her forehead. Simon thought he cried all his tears when he was a little boy, yet his nose is starting to sting, vision getting blurry for a few seconds until a choked sob manages to escape his lips. He's quick to wipe any tears away, simply trying to focus on the peace and quiet the cemetery offers, his hand running up and down his daughter's back, patting it softly just to hear that little giggle that seems to always repair his broken soul.
“All of you would've loved her, shy little thing she is.” He sniffles again before a quiet laugh leaves his lips, smiling despite the way his eyes are still filled with tears threatening to spill at any moment.
“I'm quittin' the SAS soon, don't want her to grow up without a father. The wife's happy about it, too.” Simon lets out a small sigh, looking down at the graves of his family, all buried next to each other. He shakes his head softly, his free hand quickly wiping off his tears before he goes back to holding his daughter, rocking her with care.
“I'll come back with her next time, jus' wanted to talk to you today. Let you meet this lovely girl.” Big brown eyes meet his gaze, instantly cheering him up despite everything. He pinches his cheek softly only for the little girl to smack his hand away with a giggle, only making his smile grow wider at how hot-heated she is. Just like her mother.
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chmydarling · 1 year
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aight, but hear me out tho-
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dragon-ascent · 8 months
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Imagine shooting your shot at dragon-form Rex Lapis.
𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔
Rex Lapis is enjoying a tranquil afternoon in his lofty dragon form, out in the fields of Tianqiu Valley. His nation is currently at peace, so he can afford himself a day of relaxation out in the open. His fluffy tail goes swish-swish as his ever-twinkling eyes languidly take in the serenity that sweeps over Liyue's emerald fields.
He senses someone approaching, and casually rears his head to find you heading towards him. Ah, sweet-looking mortal. Rex Lapis purrs softly as a gesture of welcome. He is at rest, but should you have anything troubling you, he would be more than willing to assist. Or perhaps you would like to relax with him as well? He imagines you napping against his smooth scales and delights at the thought.
"Lord Morax Rex Lapis Yanwang Dijun Prime of Adepti, I have something to tell you!" you burst out awkwardly once you've reached him, hands on your hips.
He lets out a quiet, amused huff at the usage of the titles. He utters kindly, "I am all ears, little one."
You're wearing a cheeky but hopeful grin. "I can take you!"
Rex Lapis blinks slowly. Then, he tilts his head, intrigued. “Take me where? We shall head out at once.”
𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔
Bonus:
"Why not, my lord? Why couldn't you be my dragon husband?"
"My dear, my copulatory appendage is the size of your entire body."
"...Yes, and?"
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hugsandchaos · 3 months
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Guys, I need “people working at the planetarium having a good bond with Phantom because he goes there so often”! It’s mostly the people on night watch who get to see him. He goes to the planetarium for some peace and quiet, he usually just lays on the floor as if it’s the first break he’s had all day. Sometimes he talks with the staff, but it’s mostly him just casually haunting the place.
They eventually figure out that space is his obsession, and since he’s very polite and they don’t know just how important it is for a ghost’s health to indulge in their obsession, they have no problems with him being there. No one says a thing to any ghost hunters. Once, the Fentons came suspecting Phantom was there. They were right, but the workers teamed up to convince them it was a malfunction in their inventions.
Once they were gone, Phantom turned to the nearest one like they just saved him from death and hugged them. They were not released for a solid ten minutes.
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mrsbarnesblog · 24 days
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I always get what I want
masterlist
requests are open
summary: when you're not in the mood to go out of the house, you find a way to change Rafe's mind
words count: 1.8k
warnings: smut, established relationship, unprotected p in v, one use of a word 'slut', spanking, hair pulling, slightly mean Rafe
a/n: for anyone wondering how the said dress looks like
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“I’m not in the mood to go out today, Ray. Why can’t we just stay home, hm?” You yawned, stretching your body on the king-sized bed and then turning around to look at your boyfriend. 
“It’s just a dinner and everyone is going to be there. I already promised that we’re attending, baby.” He crossed his arms over his chest, immediately drawing your attention to his tanned biceps and the way his fitted shirt stretched around them. “C’mon, get up.”
“But you didn’t even ask me about—No-o-o!” You whined when Rafe’s hands wrapped around your legs, dragging you out of bed. As he playfully patted your ass and manhandled you into standing, you gave him a furious glare. “Fine, asshole. I will get dressed.” You pushed past your boyfriend, already knowing one trick that will send him over the edge and that will guarantee you a quiet and peaceful evening. 
“Mhm, find something cute, but don’t take too long, ‘kay?” You rolled your eyes, going into the wardrobe attached to your bedroom.
You had never dressed quicker, and when after a few minutes Rafe heard you going back into the room with your heels clicking on the wooden floor, he was ready to joke about it, until he looked up from his phone and saw what exactly you were wearing. 
It was probably the shortest black lace dress in existence, which barely even covered your ass cheeks and had a slid from both sides of your legs as if there were something more to show. Rafe’s eyes slowly went up, only a few seconds later noticing that besides the “dress” itself, you wore only thongs, which meant that your tits were basically on full display.  
You bought it just for fun, for a few dollars during one of your shopping sprees, hoping to surprise Rafe with it, but it turned out even better than you imagined. He was speechless, to say the least. 
“You are not fucking wearing it.” He jumped up from the bed, looking down at you with wide eyes. You tried to hold back a smile. Rafe was so predictable and you loved every second of it. 
“Why not? It’s cute and goes perfectly with my heels. Give me like fifteen minutes to do my makeup and we can go.” You turned around but Rafe quickly caught you by the wrist and pulled you back to face him.
"You know I like your short skirts and sexy dresses, but I will not let you go out looking like that. Your whole ass is out and I can literally see your tits.” Rafe looked you up and down again; his eyes were full of hunger mixed with his usual grumpiness whenever you didn’t listen to him. 
“Stop saying what I can and cannot wear, Rafey. I always get what I want. And I hate when you think that you can boss me around. I am wearing it, whether you like it or not. You asked me to go somewhere at the last minute, and this is the only outfit I have not worn yet, so don’t complain." Giving his cheek a soft pat, you headed to your vanity, but was again dragged back, but this time it was different.
Your back hit Rafe’s chest. One of his arms found its place on your stomach and the other one took a gentle yet firm hold of your throat. Your breath hitched when you felt a growing bulge pressing against your ass, and Rafe began pushing you toward the bed. 
“Always have to be so fucking stubborn.” He mumbled as he bent you over, shamelessly pushing your face into the soft blanket, making you stay in a not-so-comfortable position with your ass up and still in your heels. 
“My heels. Take it off.” You whined, not even trying to fight your boyfriend back. 
“If you decided to play on my nerves today, then you’ll be good just like that, babe.” Rafe suddenly slapped your ass, making you hiss and twitch forward. Because of your position, the hem of your dress slipped even higher, leaving nothing for the imagination. 
Rafe licked his lips, soothing the irritated skin of your ass and enjoying the beautiful view in front of him. With the dinner long forgotten, he was completely focused on you and painfully hard in his jeans. While his left hand still stayed on your lower back to keep you in place, he pushed your legs wider away from each other and took off a skimpy piece of fabric that you called underwear. 
You moaned as the chill air of the room touched your bare skin, subconsciously moving your hips back to feel Rafe’s touch. He chuckled as he quickly undid his pants and shoved them down his thighs, revealing his already hard cock. 
“Why can’t you just listen to me, hm? You are insane to even try to go out in that pathetic excuse of a dress." Rafe mumbled, more as if he were talking to himself, too focused on looking at the way his tip was sliding up and down your pussy, already glistering with your juices. “Don’t get me wrong, you definitely can wear it around the house; I won’t mind. But just for my eyes only.” 
As much as you tried to concentrate on Rafe’s words, it was hard to do so when he slowly sank into you, making you whine and grip the fabric under your hands. He rarely did it without giving you a proper preparation with his fingers or mouth, but it was his way of showing you that he wasn’t happy with your behaviour. Rafe gave your ass another slap, before reaching his hand to gently grab your hair and yank your head back. 
“Pay attention to what I'm saying, baby.” You were stretched to the limit, still sensitive to the size of him every time you two had sex. Rafe set a steady pace, fucking you like he did whenever he was pissed off—fast, deep and rough. “You’re mine to look at. So, you better save that little thing for when I get home from work, do you understand?"  
Your eyes rolled back in your head as whimpers slipped past your lips with every push of Rafe’s cock in your tight cunt. He gripped the hair in his hand a little tighter, still waiting for an answer from you and you had no choice but to try to nod and mumble something incoherent. 
When two fingers of Rafe’s free hand suddenly pressed on your clit and started moving in a circular motion, your hips jerked forward, squeezing him inside of you even harder. If Rafe knew one thing for sure, it was how your body worked and all the little tricks that made you see stars. He held you firmly in place, feeding his cock to your hungry pussy and not caring about you trying to get away from the overstimulation. 
“Don’t fuckin’ move or I’ll edge you till you cry. Don’t want to do that again, do you?” Rafe mumbled, effortlessly sliding his cock deeper into you, noticing the way your ass was jiggling with every deep thrust. He felt your wetness spreading on his fingers and sliding down your thighs, probably making a mess on his clothes too. 
“That’s too much— Rafe, Rafe, Ra-afe!” You cried out loud as he pushed your head backwards more to have a look at your face. That famous smirk appeared at the sight of your fucked out face with tears in your eyes and swollen lips. 
“If you want to dress like a slut, you’re gonna be treated like one.” He spat, then finally released your hair, instead pushing your head into the bed. 
It felt like Rafe’s cock was now even deeper, and the pace that he was using was too hard to handle. You whined his name, fisting the blanket and crying in ecstasy at his magical work with your pussy. 
“That’s right.” His praise came with a hard slap on your ass. “Same my name when you cum on my dick.” 
“Rafe! Oh god, Rafe! D-don’t stop!” He didn’t stop abusing your hole even when you reached your orgasm. Neither when your body literally started shaking from overstimulation and you were begging to let you go. 
It didn’t take him long to get to an end, suddenly pulling out of you and spilling his hot cum all over your ass and lower back. “Fuck, yeah! Lookin’ so pretty covered in me.” Rafe chuckled, gripping your ass cheeks and shamelessly looking as his release was sliding down to your flattering pussy. “Sorry, sweetheart. I guess I stained your dress and panties too.” He made a fake pout, moving away from you to admire his work from afar. 
“Asshole.” You grumbled, fully falling on your bed and hissing at the pain in your legs. Your eyes were closed, enjoying the tingles that still went through your body when you felt Rafe wiping a mess from your skin and then kneeling on the floor to take off your shoes. 
You looked at him when you felt bed moving under his weight. Rafe drew you closer with a smirk, resting your head on his naked chest. You smirked at him, and he raised an eyebrow at the strange sparkle in your eyes. 
“Whatcha smiling for, hm?” His hand sneaked down your back, reaching the irritated skin that he slapped multiple times, and gently rubbed to soothe the redness. 
“I always do and get what I want, Ray.” You giggled, tracing lines on his abs. 
“Well, not today, apparently.”
"Oh, baby, you are so naive to believe I was planning to attend the dinner in the first place." You bit your lip, holding back a smile at the confused look on your boyfriend’s face. “All I had to do was make you think with your dick and now we’re staying at home. Just like I wanted to.”
He shook his head in disbelief, with a smirk and tongue poking his cheek. “You’re such a brat.” A squeak escaped from you when your body suddenly changed positions and was pushed back on the bed as Rafe hovered over you. “Get ready for round two since you wanted to be so goddamn smart.” 
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phantomrose96 · 8 months
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YA Soulmate Romance novel where everyone, by the time they turn 16, becomes aware of their soulmate. A person tied to them by the soul, whose thoughts and actions are relayed vaguely over the binding and unbreakable connection they share.
Except, as best science can figure it, the connection is completely random and the other person is, with no greater significance, really just Some Guy.
Some people do marry their someguymate out of conviction that the connection must mean something, but those marriages statistically fare much worse than non someguymate marriages. As it turns out, marrying someone with no existing chemistry, who unfortunately is aware of all your emotions and actions, isn't a stable foundation for a marriage.
A highly profitable sector of technology blooming in the "someguymate-blocking" market, both for personal privacy and MORE than that, to silence all the annoying fucking updates you receive constantly from your someguymate. Endless pseudoscience and homeopathic remedies to dampen signals. White noise machines that advertise themselves as "sleep restorative" and "someguymate notification blocking"
Unfortunate person whose someguymate is in an opposite timezone, trying to sleep at 3am while being bombarded with "your someguymate is driving to work" "your someguymate is getting a coffee" "your someguymate is mad at this traffic" "your someguymate goes car horn honk honk honk honk". Statistically, you're actually lucky if your someguymate shares a timezone even close to yours
High profile terrorist with a tight and well-armed protective unit. Authorities don't try to go after him, and instead try to find his someguymate, who's a middle school teacher in Iowa who constantly hears car bombs.
Befuddled mother walking into a police department, unsure who to report this to, but her someguymate just killed someone. maybe. probably. It was unclear. There was gun fire and some driving into the woods. And maybe that was unrelated to the gun fire but the big heavy thing her someguymate pulled out of the truckbed was almost definitely related.
A lucrative, and highly expensive black market of private investigators and hitmen, paid in secret to set their mark to a rich and powerful man's someguymate, because their client just wants some peace and quiet. Just some peace and quiet. For once.
The someguymate of this rich and powerful man, receiving an inkling she doesn't fully understand, but knowing with icy certainty she is suddenly in danger.
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ishizizzle · 1 year
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Made a lil palet in the homie's basement cave bc I'm overstimulated 🙃
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