#They were created and trained to be a perfect team and then they ended up being too perfect and overthrew the government /j

[purifiedclitoris69]

Darkness and Chaos

A/n: I have no idea how long this been sitting in my drafts, but I finally finished it. Bit unedited, hope you all enjoy! Thanks :)

Wanda Maximoff x enhanced!reader

You had always been attuned to the dark—something about shadows called to you from a young age. You first noticed it in fleeting moments, like when the shadows around you seemed to shift with your emotions, with your father's yelling and your mother's crying and both their drinking. It was subtle at first, easily dismissed, until one day, the shadows responded to your will, protecting you from the poison your parents spat. A flick of your hand could send the darkness swirling, you could create solid constructs like weapons and shields, bind enemies with shadow tendrils, teleport through shadows, and even craft illusions to confuse foes, you were an unpredictable force.

It wasn’t long before your abilities attracted the attention of powerful beings—both good and bad. The team had first encountered you during a mission to stop some HYDRA experimentation. you yourself sat in a cell experimenting with dark energy. You had been held captive by HYDRA, forced to use your powers of shadow manipulation for the organization’s twisted ends. However, the moment the Avengers arrived, everything changed. Their mission that quickly spiraled out of control but you helped them without hesitation, shadows erupted from you like a storm, weaving through the battlefield with lethal precision, and taking out the HYDRA agents like you’ve been dreaming of for ages. Your tendrils of darkness restrained enemies, while walls of shadow protected the Avengers from incoming fire. Wanda, immediately sensing your potential, your desperation to be good, reaching out with her magic, she offered you a way out—not just from HYDRA, but from the darkness inside you.

The Avengers wasted no time putting your skills to use. Your shadow manipulation was unlike anything they had seen, with Wanda’s chaos magic, capable of rewriting reality itself, the two of you became the Avengers' secret weapon against threats too powerful for conventional means. Your darkness and her chaos were like a pair of loss lovers beginning to dance. You communicated without words, your powers flowing together. It wasn’t just your powers that made you a powerful duo—it was your connection. You had trained together for months, learning to anticipate each other’s moves, covering for one another’s weaknesses. Where your shadows needed precision and control, Wanda’s chaos magic thrived in unpredictability, giving you both a perfect balance of order and chaos.

In the heat of battle, your synergy was unmatched. Wanda would send waves of crimson magic crashing into your enemies, altering the battlefield in ways no one could predict, while your shadows weaved in and out, creating traps, shields, and devastating strikes from every angle.

Naturally you guys were an inseperable pair outside of the battlefield as well. You were best friendsand everyone on the team knew it. You spend almost every free moment together, whether it's lounging in the common area, cooking meals in the shared kitchen, or training in the gym. But for you, every moment with her is tinged with something more, something you can never quite bring yourself to admit. It’s the little things that get to you—the way she smiles when she catches you stealing the last piece of pizza, or how she lightly nudges you with her shoulder when you’re both watching a movie on the couch, curled up under a blanket. Her laugh, soft and genuine, makes your chest tighten, and sometimes, when she’s not looking, you find yourself staring at her just a little too long, trying to memorize every detail of her face.

You were falling in love with her, hopelessly and utterly in love—but you can’t say it. Not yet, not when it could ruin everything.

Your days are a mix of training, missions, and downtime. During training, the connection you share on the battlefield spills over. You’re so in sync, knowing each other's movements before they even happen. When you spar, it’s like a dance of power all over again, a delicate balance of strength and grace. Sometimes, when you’re caught up in the flow, you’ll catch her eye, and there’s this spark—something just beneath the surface that makes you wonder if she feels it too. But then it passes, and you’re back to being best friends, pretending that the tension isn’t there.

After training, you’ll both collapse onto the floor, breathless and laughing. "I’m getting better," Wanda says, teasing you with a grin.

"You’re still too predictable," you tease back, though you don’t mean it. She’s anything but predictable. Wanda is like a force of nature—fierce and compassionate, more complex than anyone you’ve ever known. It’s what drew you to her in the first place. But you’ve gotten good at hiding your feelings, laughing off the moments that hit a little too close to the truth.

in the evenings, you’ll make dinner together in the compound’s kitchen. Wanda loves experimenting with Sokovian recipes, and you’ve found yourself loving the process too, if only because it means spending more time with her. There’s always a moment when your hands brush as you reach for the same ingredient, or when you stand side by side at the counter, your shoulders touching. You’ll glance at her, and she’ll smile, oblivious to the storm of emotions brewing inside you. Sometimes she'd ask you to just sit at the counter for the company and the insurance so that you wouldn't mess up her 'delicate process,' you'd act annoyed but, it always allowed you to study her more, how she scrunches her nose, the sparkle in her eyes, the way her hair framed her face, anything.

"You're staring again," she says one night, catching you off guard as you chop vegetables.

You freeze, your heart skipping a beat. "Am I?" you say, trying to sound casual, but your voice comes out just a little too tight.

She laughs softly, nudging you playfully with her elbow. "You’re a terrible liar."

You laugh it off, brushing it aside like you always do, but every time you’re near her, the feelings only grow stronger. It’s in the way she looks at you with those piercing eyes, the way she leans into you when she’s tired, like you’re her safe place.

Sometimes, late at night, when the compound is quiet and it’s just the two of you sitting on the couch, you wonder what it would be like to tell her the truth. But then fear creeps in—the fear of losing her, of changing everything. So, you stay quiet. When she gets up to leave, she often lingers, just for a moment, as if she’s waiting for you to say something more. You wonder if she feels the tension too, if maybe she’s waiting for you to make the first move. But then she’ll smile, say goodnight, and disappear down the hallway, leaving you alone with your thoughts and the feeling of her absence like a weight on your chest.

Every now and then, you catch her looking at you differently, her gaze lingering a second too long, her touch softer than it needs to be. You wonder if she’s trying to say something without saying it. But you’re too scared to ask, too scared to risk what you have, so you both continue the dance—best friends on the surface, with so much more bubbling underneath.

The rest of the Avengers don't seem to notice the tension. To them, you and Wanda are just inseparable. They joke about it sometimes—and apart of you feel like Natasha knows, Nat teasingly calling you "Wanda’s shadow" because you're always together. And maybe they're right. You follow her wherever she goes, drawn to her like she’s the only source of light in your world. But none of them know how deep your feelings were, how every laugh, every casual touch, every shared glance twists something inside you.

The hardest moments are when Wanda talks about her past—about Vision, the loss, the pain. She opens up to you in ways she doesn’t with anyone else. You’re the one she trusts, the one she comes to when the weight of it all is too much. And you listen, offering comfort the best way you can, but it kills you inside. Because no matter how close you are, a part of her heart still belongs to someone else. And no matter how much you love her, you’re not sure there’s room for you there.

The mission today is different, saving the universe different.

The sky is ablaze with kree ships, and the ground trembles as waves of invaders pour into the city. You and Wanda arrive together, side by side as always, with the rest of the Avengers already in the heat of battle. Steve's voice crackles through your earpiece: “We need backup—now.”

Your heart races, not just from the battle ahead, but from the proximity to Wanda. The mission is urgent, and your mind is focused, but there’s a constant hum in the background—your feelings for her.

You glance over at her, catching a glimpse of her eyes glowing red as she prepares her magic. She looks determined, fierce, and more beautiful than ever. You shake off the thought, trying to focus on the task at hand.

“They’re teleporting in from somewhere,” you say, scanning the battlefield. “If we shut down the portal, we can stop this.”

Wanda nods, and you can see the same determination mirrored in her expression. “I’ll handle the portal. Cover me,” she says, her voice calm but filled with urgency.

Together, you create a dome of darkness, your shadows rising from the ground and swallowing the battlefield in an inky void. The alien invaders stumble, confused, while Wanda floats upward, her crimson magic intertwining with your shadows. You stay close to her, shadows wrapping around your hands like armor as you dispatch enemies who dare to approach. Your abilities blend effortlessly, like they were made to work in unison. And in a way, maybe they were.

As Wanda’s magic tears through the dimensions, severing the invaders’ connection to their homeworld, you can’t help but steal another glance at her. She’s lost in concentration, her hands moving with precise, graceful motions, and it’s in these moments you’re reminded why you’ve fallen for her. It’s not just her power, not just the way you work together in perfect sync—it’s her heart, her kindness, her courage. You’ve seen her at her most vulnerable, and yet she’s never faltered.

With a final surge of magic, Wanda closes the portal, and the skies clear. The remaining invaders are no match for the rest of the Avengers. As you land beside her, the battle over, the battlefield is eerily quiet.

Wanda looks at you, her red magic flickering around her hands before it fades. She’s smiling softly, the exhaustion of the battle evident, but there’s something else in her eyes—something warm, something that makes your heart skip a beat.

“You did great,” she says, stepping closer. “We always do.”

You chuckle, trying to keep it light. “Only because I’ve got you watching my back.”

Her smile widens, and for a brief moment, the world around you seems to blur. It’s just the two of you now, standing in the aftermath of a battle you won together, like always. But there’s something unspoken between you. You can feel it. It hangs in the air like the only shadow you can’t quite grasp.

Admist the two of your distractions, one of the Kree is able to use the last of it's strengh shooting you twice in the back, one going straight through your abdomen. Wanda's face pales as Natasha quickly finishes of the Kree and you fall into Wanda's arms. You can barely focus, but her presence feels like a lifeline. She cradles your face in her hands, her expression frantic, eyes wide with fear.

“Stay with me,” she pleads, her voice trembling. “You’re going to be okay.”

You can feel the warmth of her hands against your skin, and in that moment, the weight of your unspoken feelings spills over. “Wanda,” you say, your voice barely a whisper, “I need to tell you—”

“Not now, y/n” she interrupts, her voice rising as she tries to keep the panic at bay. “We need to get you out of here first!”

But you can see the truth in her eyes, the fear that lurks beneath her fierce exterior. “I can’t—Wanda, I can’t hold back anymore. I love you. More than you know," you force a pained smile as the tears and burning pain blurr your vision, "I'm in love with you."

For a moment, time seems to freeze. You can see the flicker of hope in her eyes, but it’s quickly replaced by something else—fear, and with that your vision goes black.

"Hurry help! Please!," Wanda screams as the rest of the team rushes over.

"We need to get her on the jet now," Natasha says as Steve pick you up with ease, running you straight to the medical table.

You drift in and out of consciousness, the world around you a haze of sounds and sensations. The dull beeping of machines pulls you back, and when you finally force your eyes open, the sterile light of the medbay greets you. Blinking against the brightness, you focus on the figure by your side—Wanda, her face illuminated by the soft glow of the monitors.

“Y/n?” she whispers standing up, her voice trembling with relief. You try to speak, but your throat feels dry and raw, she quickly hands you a glass of water. She’s leaning closer, her hand holding yours, warm and grounding. “You’re awake. Thank goodness.”

The memories rush back—flashes of battle, the sting of pain, and the way she cradled your face in her hands as the world around you faded, as you finally confessed your love. Panic surges through you. “Wanda, what happened?” you rasp, struggling to sit up, but she gently pushes you back down.

“You were hurt. A Kree shot you.” Her voice is steady, but her eyes betray the storm beneath. “Natasha took care of it. You’re safe now.”

“safe, yeah…” you echo, relief flooding through you. “What about you? Are you okay?”

She nods, but there’s a distance in her gaze, a shadow that lingers just behind her eyes. You want to reach out, to pull her closer and make her feel your warmth, but there’s something heavy in the air—a wall between you.

“Wanda, I—” you start, the urgency of your feelings pressing at the edges of your mind. But before you can finish, she interrupts.

“Y/n, listen. There’s something we need to talk about.” Her tone shifts, the seriousness making your heart drop. You search her face, looking for any sign of what she’s about to say, but all you see is a mix of determination and fear.

"Wanda, what I said, it's true," you gulped down your anxiety, "I justt—"

“I don’t feel the same way,” she says, her voice firm yet shaking slightly. The words hit you like a punch to the gut, and for a moment, you can’t breathe. “I’m sorry. I care about you, but not like that. We need to focus on being a team...we work better as we are."

Her words pierce through you, each syllable a shard of ice. You feel the warmth of her hands slipping away, and the connection you thought you shared shatters, leaving you raw and exposed. “But I—”

“No, y/n” she cuts you off, her voice rising with a mix of desperation and anguish, "I can't give you what you want. Not in that way, not after everything."

Inside, Wanda is fighting a battle of her own, her heart pounding in her chest. She wants to reach out, to tell you that she feels the same, that she’s been harboring feelings for you since the moment you became friends. But the thought of losing you—the thought of watching you slip away like Vision, like everyone else she’s ever loved—sends a cold wave of terror through her. She remembers the pain of loss, the way it consumed her, the ache that still lingers deep within her soul.

“Wanda, please…” you say, your voice breaking, and her heart aches at the sound. She can see the confusion and hurt in your eyes, and it shatters her inside.

You deserve so much more than a broken person like me, she thinks, forcing a smile that feels like a lie. You deserve someone who can be there for you completely, without fear. But I can’t be that person. I can’t be the reason you’re hurt.

“I just need you to understand,” she says, her voice steadier than she feels. “We can’t cross that line. It’s safer this way.” But as the words leave her lips, she knows they’re a lie. The truth is that she loves you—deeply, but she can’t let herself act on that love. Not now. Not when the fear of loss looms like a shadow, ready to swallow her whole. “I care about you, and I’ll always be here for you,” she adds, trying to keep her voice calm, even as her heart races. “Just… let’s keep it this way.”

You look at her, the hurt in your eyes a mirror of the pain in her heart. She watches as you swallow down the heartbreak and practically return back to the shell of the person they found at HYDRA. As she watches the acceptance settles in your gaze, a part of her breaks, knowing that she’s ultimately built your walls back up, she's pushed you away when all she wanted was to pull you closer.

What have I done? she thinks, her chest tightening as she sees the distance growing between you.

You nod slowly, swallowing hard against the lump in your throat, your heart heavy with the weight of her rejection. And as you lie back against the pillows, the silence fills the space where the truth should be, echoing with everything left unsaid, "I think I'd like some space for a little," you mumble turning away from her as you try so desperately to keep the tears from spilling.

"Okay," she agrees quietly walking towards the door, she pauses looking back as she's about to leave, "I'm sorry, y/n," she leaves.

[bvidzsoo]

Obliviate Me

✩‧₊˚ Obliviate ⇄ to forget [Latin] ✩‧₊˚

Author: bvidzsoo

Pairing: dark!Park Seonghwa x female reader

✩‧₊˚ Warning: smut, addiction, ptsd, mentions of war, violence, fights ✩‧₊˚ Word count: 27.6k ✩‧₊˚ Rating: nsfw ✩‧₊˚ Genre: Harry Potter!au, set in the forties/Grindelwald's time, lovers to enemies!au, tragic love!au ✩‧₊˚ Summary: ✩‧₊˚ Grindelwald's reign holds everyone under terror, and you decide you want to join the right side and put an end to it. But the stars seem to refuse to align for you and your lover as you find yourselves on opposing teams. Will your love prevail, or will you succumb to the darkness? ✩‧₊˚

A/N: My lovelies, I...I am bawling my eyes out ngl, I can't believe I wrote this. Bring a box of tissues with you before you sit down reading, I am already forever sorry if I cause anyone any heartache<3 I have proofread this, but it's past 1am and you might still find mistakes, so I'm sorry about that! There's little time jumps in here, so for a quick clarification, after each divider you'll find them back in the current time (which is still in the forties!). I probably had a lot more things to say, but I forgot and I'm sleepy, so I'll settle for this much: there are probably some inaccuracies to the Harry Potter canon events as I took some creative liberty so yeah, keep that in mind when reading; also Mingi and MC aren't related, they just share the same surname! I poured my blood, sweat, and tears into this oneshot y'all (as into everything I write LOL), so I hope you enjoy! I appreciate all of your thoughts, so please leave feedback, I love reading them!<3 (special shotout to @hwasbbyg because somehow I always have you in mind when I'm writing something Seonghwa related <3) divider

            Times were dire, both in the Wizarding World and the Muggle World. Supremist leaders with atrocious views unleashed attack after attack upon innocent civilians, creating more destruction than victory. My heart broke daily reading the newspaper, both the muggle and wizard one. It made my blood boil that two men, so different yet similar upon closer view, would play God and decide what was wrong and right. Who was pure and who deserved to suffer. Nobody was perfect, nobody will ever be. I couldn’t just sit idly at home and be the housewife many women dreamed of becoming after graduating. I wanted to make a name for myself, I wished to become strong enough to save the innocent, to take their side and advocate for those who were too scared or weak to do so for themselves. That is why upon graduating from Hogwarts, I became an Auror. The training was harsh and demanding, but it wasn’t anything I wasn’t ready to bear if it meant it would lead to saving millions of lives. I was sick of all the spilled blood and wailing on the streets, I wished to see peace and serenity, to go to bed without the fear of never waking up again. Four years have passed since I have left the confines of Hogwarts, since I was forced to face the horrors of the outside world, to fend for myself, and to become someone. It was hard and terrifying, but for once, I felt complete. I felt happy with where I stood in my life, I was proud of who I had become. And I knew that as long as Grindelwald isn’t stopped, I shall not rest even for a second.

The auditorium was small in size and stuffed, the benches placed in a circular shape around a platform that had a table sitting on it and a chair. It was deep down on the second level, far away from the Auror’s offices, hidden between the women’s and men’s restrooms. The auditorium wasn’t meant to be easily found and it was only used when a situation had turned dire, when an emergency meeting just had to be called. I had chosen to sit towards the back of the auditorium, closer to the exit as the air felt stale and warm inside the stuffed room, at least thirty aurors squeezed together towards the front of the room. My throat felt parched and my palms were sweaty as I had them placed in front of me, leveling my breaths as Theseus Scamander, the Head of the Auror Office, stood tall on the platform, a forlorn look on his face. Anyone who had picked up the newspaper earlier this morning must’ve seen the devastating news of the destruction caused to the small and welcoming wizarding village, Apo’s Nook. There was nothing left of it, just the ashes of ghosts that would haunt the land and the smoking foundations of destroyed homes that would never flourish again.

I felt a lump in my throat as Theseus sighed long and loud, eyes surveying the auditorium. It was deadly silent in here, everyone was either too mad or sad to say anything. The time was barely nine in the morning and we knew we had a long day ahead of us. This meeting was a top-secret one, whatever was said inside this auditorium would be never allowed to leave the confines of these walls. Only the best of the best aurors were called in, no doubt for a mission that would be challenging both physically and mentally. It wouldn’t be my first special mission, yet I couldn’t help but feel dread for what was to come. A tiny voice in the back of my head tried to whisper warnings this morning while I was getting ready to come to work, my gut twisting nauseatingly and making me more restless than I usually was. Something would happen here today that I wouldn’t like, and I couldn’t do anything about it.

“Good morning, aurors.” Theseus’ voice rang loudly in the quiet room and I gulped, feeling sweat collect on my nape, under my hair. I didn’t want to get rid of my jacket, finding the warmth it provided comforting, but I was sweating too much. Careful, not to make any sound, I wrestled out of the satin fabric and placed it onto the table in front of me. My dress was thick to protect me from the merciless winter, and it reached just below my ankles as the front had a V-cut that stopped just above the valley of my breasts, “I assume you all know by now why you’ve been called here.”

There was a collective murmur of confirmation to Theseus’ question and I gulped, patting my forehead free of any perspiration, “What occurred in the early hours of today’s morning is—terrible and unforgivable.”

I couldn’t help but let my eyes run over the aurors as Theseus’ voice shook with raw emotion. He was just as affected by the news as everyone else in the room. I fiddled with my fingers as my eyes finally fell on a familiar person, the tiniest smile slipping onto my lips. It brought little comfort and assurance to see my former professor in a place where I was surrounded by fearless warriors who were mere strangers to me, but would soon become my trusted companions. The only other two aurors that I did become friends with throughout the four years of working here were Song Mingi and Jeong Yunho, partners in missions and other aspects of life, and I haven’t seen them in over a month now. They were alive, and as safe as possible, but they were far away from our home, in a land colder and far scarier than what London was at the moment. They were close to the German border, spying on Grindelwald’s men having infiltrated themselves amongst them. They were our precious informants, their jobs far more dangerous than ours at the moment. I couldn’t help but pray every night to a God that listened, that the two people I started cherishing in such a short time would return to me in one piece and alive.

“Grindelwald has destroyed another village,” Theseus’ words snapped me out of my thoughts as Professor Dumbledore turned his head, gaze finding mine, “wizards and witches were killed once again because they refused to join his dark cause. This cannot go on anymore, I won’t allow it.”

Professor Dumbledore bowed his head slightly in a nonverbal greeting before he turned his head, looking at Theseus with an unreadable expression on his face. I gulped and subconsciously reached for the pocket of my coat, feeling around for the plastic holder in the shape of a tube.

“I was given full permission to construct a team that will directly take out Grindelwald’s men until he’s left with nothing, until he’s alone and powerless.” Theseus leered, face contorted into fury, “I shall task you with bringing down these disgraces one by one, dead or alive, I do not care as long they cannot help Grindelwald anymore.”

My fingers tightened around the plastic, my head turning when I saw a man stand up with a heavy-looking folder in his hands approach Theseus, “We have gathered all the information we could about Grindelwald’s most important wizards and witches, they are our main target. I want you all to look at these photographs closely, commit them to memory as each one of you will be handed one to capture and bring forth to the court.”

I watched from the back of the auditorium as the man opened the folder and placed it down on a table in the front row, starting to hand out photograph after photograph. Knowing that I sat way too far in the back, I rose to my feet and swiftly took the plastic bottle from my pocket, slipping it between my breasts so that nobody would see it. Pushing my hands behind my back, I walked down a few stairs until I reached the row that had more wizards sitting in it, grabbing a photograph that wasn’t being looked at yet. The picture was in black and white, but the face of the witch was clear. Something in my stomach coiled as I recognized her being my peer at Hogwarts, just a year above myself, and a Slytherin like I had been too. The man sitting next to me looked at me with a questioning gaze, and I passed him the photograph as he handed me another one, this one of an older wizard who had a cunning look in his eyes as he held a cigar between his teeth. Something was unsettling about his gaze as I leaned against the side of the table, passing it along as another then another photograph passed through my grasp as I committed their faces to memory. Some of these pictures seemed to have been taken recently, right at Apo’s Nook before it went up in flames. My jaw clenched as the witch in the next photograph was grinning widely as if she was taunting us, and I accidentally passed it to the man next to me a bit too harshly as he gave me a concerned look. I ignored him and took a deep breath, fingers itching to hold onto the plastic bottle hidden between my breasts. The news this morning had been too shocking, and I had no choice but to take two pills instead of one. It wasn’t healthy, but I did force my breakfast down my throat in hopes that it wouldn’t make me feel ill if I doubled the dose.

The next photograph that was passed to me was flipped upside down, and I sighed as I braced myself for another unfamiliar face to commit to memory, except that when I flipped it, my whole body froze, blood going cold. I tried to gulp, but I couldn’t due to the lump in my throat. My lungs contracted, and I desperately tried not to gasp as my fingers dug into the fragile paper and I fought the urge to rip the photograph into shreds. I knew this would happen sooner than later, but I realized how completely unprepared I was for it. The wizard in the photograph was smiling widely, the photo not recent at all, his round eyes turning upwards at the corners, his front teeth on full display. His hair had been freshly cut before the photograph was taken, yet it still fell in his eyes as he failed to style it—he was talented at many things, yet he never quite learned how to tame his wild hair. I could feel my hands start to shake the longer I stared at the face of my first love, my heart beating so fast my ears started to ring. I struggled to breathe and I knew I was turning pale as my lips parted, a quiet gasp leaving through them. It was enough to alert the man sitting next to me as I felt his eyes on me, but my body couldn’t react to anything as I crumbled up the photograph, throwing it far away from myself. I heard my name being called and words that sounded like they were asking if I was alright, but my vision had started turning black from the lack of oxygen. The room was too small, too stuffy, too warm; I couldn’t breathe.

Hands still shaking, I gripped my dress and lifted it above my ankles as I abruptly turned around, eyes settling on the exit desperately as I felt my feet take me up the stairs, running as I extended my hand way before I have reached the door to grab the handle. My heart was in my throat and the ringing in my ears was as loud as a kettle’s whistle, and I yanked the door open with all the force I could muster up due to the tremor of my whole body. The air of the hallway hit me hard, making me gasp loudly as I slammed the door shut behind me, feeling tears prick at my dry eyes as I flung myself forward, hands cushioning my crash as I flew into the wall in front of me, forehead banging against it. I needed it, I needed something painful to shake me out of my borderline psychotic state. I couldn’t take another pill so soon, I really just shouldn’t. I bit my lower lip as I struggled to take deep breaths, the tremors of my body worsening as my hands curled into fists, forcing me to close my eyes. The ringing in my ears had started to subside, but my heart was still beating way too fast and my throat was too dry. I really couldn’t take another pill just yet; however, my right hand was reaching for the bottle without wasting another second as I uncapped it and grabbed two pills out of it, throwing them back as my eyebrows furrowed, struggling to gulp them down at once.

I stood desperately waiting for the downers to kick in, the thumping of my head subsiding as the ringing of my ears went away completely, the tremors of my body remaining, however. I felt my muscles trying to relax, not even having noticed how tense they had become, and I gulped as I turned around to press my back against the wall, groaning as my head fell back. My throat had started hurting, the pills having scrapped it, but I couldn’t care less as my frantic heartbeat had finally started slowing down. I heard the door of the auditorium open, and my eyes opened as I watched my former professor approach me with a concerned look on his face. He held a plastic cup that he extended towards me, and I took it eagerly, downing the cool water as it finally soothed the ache in my throat. I crumpled the plastic in my fist, sighing long as I looked at Professor Dumbledore, wondering what was going through his mind having seen me in such a hysterical state.

“War is harsh,” As if reading my thoughts, his eyes twinkled with that familiar warm glint, “it affects everyone differently. You’ve seen things no woman your age should have, but you are a talented auror, Miss Song. However, I fear you won’t be amongst us for much longer if you continue abusing those.”

I felt shame crawl up my body as the professor’s eyes fell on the bottle, and I quickly hid it behind my back, “I’m sorry.”

I felt like a little child that was being scolded for doing something bad as I averted my gaze away from Professor Dumbledore’s, and sniffed as I noticed my heartbeat had finally returned to its natural rhythm.

“How are your parents doing, Miss Song?” Professor Dumbledore’s voice was soft, and I shrugged looking up at him.

“They are scared, as is everyone else.” I sighed, biting my lower lip, “I have moved them to the Wizarding World in hopes of keeping them safe, but nowhere is safe anymore, Professor.”

“It’s saddening, indeed.” The professor nodded, sharing my feelings of sadness that were slowly turning into despair, “But I think you did the right thing. The Wizarding World might not be the safest place at the moment, but it is a lot safer than the Muggle World.”

It was reassuring to hear the approval of my much wiser and smarter professor, and for a second, I believed that I had done something right for the first time in a long time. No matter how many dark wizards and witches I have captured, I never truly felt accomplished. It wasn’t enough, because I knew I could do better if sent on even more missions, and finally, the chance to fulfill my selfish desires while proving myself to be good and useful to my superiors, had come.

“Are you feeling any better now, Miss Song?” The professor’s eyebrows raised as I quickly hid the bottle back between my breasts and nodded, squaring my shoulders back. There it was, the condescending look of deep thought crossing the professor’s face as he looked towards the ground, humming lowly, “When it comes to the matters of the heart, it’s a slippery and unsure territory, Miss Song. You might think you are prepared to face whoever and take them out, but if you haven’t completely let go of them, your heart will outrule your conscious, your rationality. Even if you have long released the feelings you had once harbored for them, your more rational side might stop you, might hold you back from delivering the final blow.”

I felt tears trying to prick at my eyes as they snapped up, boring into Professor Dumbledore’s as he had a sad smile on his lips, “It’s difficult to forget your first love, Miss Song, no matter how deeply they have wronged you.”

The tremors in my hands haven’t disappeared and wouldn’t go away today, but they halted for a second as I gulped, throat feeling dry again, “He chose his path consciously, as I have chosen mine. Our beliefs have never truly aligned, it was just wishful thinking on my side, Professor. Love, an emotion I do not feel towards him anymore, isn’t stronger than my rational mind. If I would have allowed my heart to lead me throughout my life, I would be by his side now, wallowing in self-misery and pity for all the lives I allowed perish.”

“I have recognized your passion the moment you sat on the stool on the night of the sorting, Miss Song, you’ve known from the very first moment what you wanted and how to get it. I fear I haven’t met a Slytherin as determined and stubborn as yourself, Miss Song—”

“Not even Tom Riddle, sir?”

The professor’s expression suddenly became leveled, warm smile turning into a rather forced one, “I fear I cannot compare you to Tom Riddle, Miss Song.”

I hummed and smiled, memories of the younger boy bashing the professor for even the smallest inconvenience returning. I had never figured out where their distaste came for each other, but as it wasn’t my business, I never prodded more than necessary. I fixed my hair and made sure the little bottle couldn’t be seen as I glanced past the professor, feeling calm enough to join the aurors again, “We should head inside before they deem me unfit for this task, I would hate to miss out on this one, Professor.”

“They cannot afford to lose an auror like you.” Professor Dumbledore chuckled with a thoughtful look on his face as he led us towards the door, opening it for me like the true gentleman he was. I thanked him quietly as I stepped through the threshold, the lump back in my throat as the room went silent at once, everyone turning around to watch me and the professor as we descended the stairs. I went to sit at my initial spot, but Professor Dumbledore gently grabbed my elbow and veered me towards his seat, a witch making a place for me as she had an understanding look on her face.

“Is everything alright, Miss Song?” Theseus asked once the professor and I had taken our seats, the curious eyes of the other Aurors still watching me. I gulped and placed my hands on my knees, trying to hide the tremor behind the desk so that nobody would see it.

“Yes, Mr. Scamander, my apologies for storming out like that.” My voice was leveled as I forced my face to relax, and an easy smile appeared on my lips, “I felt a little ill this morning, I suppose it returned suddenly.”

“Right,” Theseus hummed, a smile matching mine on his lips, “that is reassuring to hear; however, I do wish for a quick recovery should it get worse.”

“Thank you.” I bowed my head as my hands fisted my dress, my heart rate picking up again as I felt the witch next to me gently rub my back. I wasn’t fond of being touched by strangers, but I didn’t have the willpower to ask her to stop. Finally, seemingly content with my half-assed lie, the attention wasn’t on me anymore as everyone went back to conversing with each other. Theseus cleared his throat and walked towards our table, Professor Dumbledore gathering the photographs as they were scattered around on the desk.

“While you were taking a breather, Miss Song, I have informed your colleagues that each one of them will be assigned a dark wizard to survey and consequently take down whenever the Office seems fitting.” I tried to gulp, my throat going dry once again. The witch was still rubbing my back and her touch had started burning my skin through my dress, making me fidget with my hands as I released the grip I had on my dress. I knew this was coming, but I didn’t feel ready. If I could’ve, I would’ve downed the whole bottle of pills, not minding if I would have been the one in need of a funeral.

“I see, Mr. Scamander, who had been assigned to me?” I felt the professor’s eyes take me in carefully as if I were a ticking time bomb, and the hand of the witch was finally away from my body, her sigh too loud as Professor Dumbledore cleared his throat.

“Records say you have been peers with Park Seonghwa at Hogwarts, yes?” I failed to inhale air as my lungs contracted, my worst nightmare lay right in front of my eyes and ears, “Professor Dumbledore, could you confirm this for me?”

“Yes, Mr. Scamander, Miss Song and Mr. Park had been my students barely four years ago.” My eyes burned as I blinked them fast, scared that tears would flood them as my hands shook more, itching to grab the bottle even if for little reassurance. The sedatives weren’t working as they should have, I shouldn’t be so wired up and nervous still. I figured I should buy something stronger; the muggles were more lenient when handing out sedatives than the wizards if you knew how to put on your best act.

“Indeed,” My voice was emotionless, and I knew my face was unreadable as Theseus’ eyes narrowed, “I know Park Seonghwa, but just merely. He was a great student I often had to compete with for the first place in our year.”

The longer Theseus’ eyes bore into mine, the more prominent the soft prodding in my forehead became. I knew what he was doing, way too familiar with the feeling of having my mind invaded. He was searching for memories of Seonghwa and me, of anything that could prove I wasn’t lying and that our roots didn’t grow deeper than a surface-level acquittance. It was laughable how easy it was to veer Theseus around my mind, to trick him into seeing only what I wanted him to see. He wasn’t a born Legilimens, I could feel he was less strong than the likes of Tom Riddle, who was a born natural in his talent, and so, I knew Theseus wouldn’t figure out that I—in fact—was a born Occlumens, the will of my mind stronger than his surface-level talent. I watched as a satisfied expression settled on his features upon viewing the images I allowed him to see, like the brief snappy exchanges between Seonghwa and me when we were in class, trying to show off to the professors, or the duels where we loved to flaunt our skills, or the brief acknowledgments in the hallway when we so happened to pass by each other.

“Very well, Miss Song,” Theseus muttered and then slammed a photograph down in front of me, a much younger Seonghwa smiling mockingly at me, “I trust you to do your best and bring him to his downfall. Mr. Park is an important asset to Grindelwald’s army; we need him gone.”

“He shall be gone, then.”

1943

            The classroom was full of vigor as everyone pilled inside, rather excited to see what Professor Merrythought had up her sleeve for us today. She had promised a dueling class sooner than later, and, as we happened to be ahead on our curriculum in DADA class, we got permission from Headmaster Dippet to go ahead and transform our usual classroom into a dueling ring. This year, the Slytherins shared most of their classes with the Ravenclaws, the DADA class being one of them. I let my eyes run over the crowd of the gathering 6th-year Ravenclaws on the other side of the classroom, pressed up against the wall much like myself and my housemates. Despite the majority of students being in their 6th year, Professor Merrythought found it essential that all students above the age of fourteen learn how to duel due to the imminent threat looming above our heads, both in the Wizarding and Muggle World. Therefore, it came as no surprise that younger students were ushered inside by Professor Merrythought, who had a grin on her face. Finding the person I had been looking for in the crowd, on the other side of the classroom, a tiny smile made it onto my lips as I found him already looking at me attentively. His dark hair, once again, fell wildly around his head in curls that looked natural, framing his boyish features as his round eyes sparkled with excitement. I chuckled and felt more elated knowing that Seonghwa was here, the chance of getting paired up with him was rather high as we were the top students of our year.

“Miss Song.” I flinched at the sudden intrusive voice in my head, always taken aback when I was addressed telepathically. I looked away from Seonghwa, eyes falling onto the boy—who despite being younger, was a lot taller than me—was now standing next to me with a stoic expression, ice-cold blue eyes boring into my darker ones. I chuckled and pressed a hand against my chest, always impressed by his skills despite his younger age.

“Mr. Riddle.” I greeted back with a grin, the small prodding at my forehead proof that our telepathic connection worked both ways. It was rare that Tom allowed me inside his mind, and even then, he knew how to guide me around his thoughts to show me only what he wanted me to see—a skill he learned from me, rather quickly. He had a natural talent for learning and achieving accomplishments that wizards and witches older than him struggled to garnish. He was an admirable student and a force to reckon with, I was never too eager when he challenged me to a friendly duel under the pretext of gaining experience by dueling a student who was as outstanding as himself—in reality, he only wished to show off and torment me in the confines of the Room of Requirements when the two of us would head over to study.

“Now, children,” Professor Merrythought clapped her hands together as she walked between the parting crowd of students, everyone watching her curiously, “as you may know, Headmaster Dippet had granted us another dueling session, and I am beyond excited to teach you new tricks that may as well save your lives in the future. The rules are the same as always, no serious spells aimed to harm, and no maiming, Madam Gorsemoor has far more important tasks than to heal some children who didn’t take the rules seriously, yes?”

Everyone muttered a ‘yes’ at once, and Professor Merrythought had a pleased grin on her lips as she pulled her wide shoulders back, her golden eyes surveying the crowd, probably counting how many of us were here. Usually, no more than twenty students were allowed inside the classroom as Professor Merrythought wished to watch and help everyone, not just those few she noticed lacking in their skill, “Can someone tell me what we’ve learned in our last class?”

Several hands shoot up high in the air, mine included, and I felt compelled to look over to the Ravenclaws, not surprised at all to see Seonghwa’s arm high up in the air, shoulders pulled back to make him look taller. I stifled a chuckle and faced the front of the classroom again, feeling Tom’s questioning gaze on the back of my head, but I paid him no mind.

“Mr. Lovegood, perhaps?” Professor Merrythought pointed at the platinum blonde-haired wizard from Ravenclaw, who stood on his tiptoes, about to bounce up and down to gain the professor’s attention.

“Diffindo!” He exclaimed, cheeks flushing instantly as the students from his house snickered, the Slytherins remaining uninterested, “I mean, Diffindo and Relashio.”

“Very well, Mr. Lovegood, thank you.” Professor Merrythought hummed, eyes narrowing as she looked over the crowd once again, her eyes stopping on me as I offered her a small smile.

“I must remind you that Diffindo is a spell that brings great harm if not death to your opponent, and inside this classroom, we shall not use it against each other. And even outside of it, I advise you use it wisely and level-headed only if the occurrence calls for it—”

“Like—if it were for Grindelwald to attack us?!” A younger boy—from Ravenclaw—asked, heads turning in his direction as he yet had to grow a few inches.

“Yes, that’s the likely scenario I had in mind.” Professor Merrythought muttered pleased, nodding at the curious boy with big round eyes. He reminded me of Seonghwa when we had just started our journey at Hogwarts, always eager to learn more and curious about how everything around him worked. Since then, his nature remained but he learned how to control it, how to make it less obvious how big of a nerd he actually was. Some would say he tries to impersonate the ‘cool guy’ archetype, but I know him too well to believe those silly ‘rumors’, “Well, before we learn something new, I’d like to see a duel from our best duellists.”

I gulped, feeling eyes bore into the side of my head as I looked over to Seonghwa again, finding his eyes on me already once again. He was smirking, round eyes fierce as we both knew who Professor Merrythought would call to the front for a demonstration, “Miss Song, Mr. Park, would you grace us with your presence?”

I heard Tom chuckle behind me, unamused, no doubt having known we’d be the chosen ones for this task. It was rarely not us, even Seonghwa and I knew it. I patted down the front of my robe, dusting it off, then squared my shoulders as I made my way through the crowd, getting a few pats on the back from people who I was familiar with. I had grabbed my wand out of my pocket, and Seonghwa and I made it to the front of the class at the same time. His smirk had turned cheeky as he held his wand in his hands elegantly, twirling it playfully as I took a few steps backward and then adjusted my stance.

“Miss Song.” Seonghwa’s voice was deep, tone almost seductive, and I couldn’t help but grin and narrow my eyes at him.

“Mr. Park.” My tone was confident and full of assurance because I knew I would win this duel. I usually did. Seonghwa was very good at dueling, but I was better since I was faster and more agile. I was also a little more talented at wandless magic than he was, I found it amusing whenever he’d exercise next to me, growing frustrated with himself way too quickly. Professor Merrythought clapped her hands and stepped back as Seonghwa and I bowed to each other, wands gripped firmly in our hands as we took our stance for the duel. I zeroed in on Seonghwa only, focusing on the movements of his body, eyes boring into his as if I would read his mind—I could, but I knew he hated it, and what I hated more was when I made him hurt. Seonghwa stood alert, his dark eyes boring into mine, a curious glint in them, laced with mischief and anticipation as he was patiently waiting for me to make my first move. He usually wasn’t the one to attack first, and we both knew that. We’ve dueled each other many times already, we knew each other’s tricks and weakest points.

“Stupefy!” I exclaimed, throwing my hand out, my wand pulsing with power as a light blue zap quickly shot towards Seonghwa, who expertly threw up his defense wall, nulling my attack with a pleased expression. I chuckled under my breath and raised an eyebrow as I threw my next attack at him, “Flipendo!”

Seonghwa huffed as another jinx was thrown his way, raising his arm high as he cast another shield in front of his body, eyes narrowing as he realized I was trying to get him to fly to the other side of the classroom. I knew he was wary of injuring himself, and unless I teased him a little bit at the beginning of our duel, I knew he would try to go easy on me. But I didn’t want easy and friendly, I wanted him to have no mercy and fight as if we were in a real fight, against each other, with only one winner standing tall in the end.

“Stupefy!” Seonghwa exclaimed, the same light blue zap flying towards me, making me easily block his attack as I threw my arms up, casting an invisible shield. Unlike Seonghwa’s, mine remained blue and violet ripples the tell-tale sign that there was something in front of me. Seonghwa narrowed his eyes, calculating his next move as I sent a hot air charm his way, which he dodged skilfully, his black hair falling into his eyes. Seonghwa chuckled and twirled the strands behind his ear, graciously raising his hand, not even looking my way as suddenly electric blue flames came barrelling towards my shield, making the students in the classroom gasp in surprise, but also fear. Someone had started clapping hard, and I knew it was Professor Merrythought as she enjoyed the show the most out of everyone.

Seonghwa was smart, and so, he knew the blue flames would demolish my shield without hurting me, and I could hear Professor Merrythought explain just this to the students who watched us with even more excitement in their eyes. Deciding to not verbalize my next spell, I winked at Seonghwa as I made the hand movement that was required for the Waddiwasi spell, Seonghwa realized a moment too late as, suddenly, crumbled up parchments floated around me for a second, before propelling towards Seonghwa with force and speed that left him defenseless. Seonghwa gasped as he turned sideways, the little balls of parchment crashing against the side of his body without causing any damage—physical because his ego was probably bruised—and the students started laughing as Seonghwa hissed, facing me once again with piercing eyes. I grinned and curtsied teasingly, enjoying the way his cheeks had flushed from embarrassment, his grip tightening around his black wand. His lips didn’t move, but his hand did, and I narrowed my eyes as for a second nothing happened, and then I felt invisible ropes binding around my body, trying to immobilize me as my eyes widened in surprise.

“Emancipare!” I yelped the counterattack of Brachiabindo, the defensive spell Seonghwa had used, and felt the ropes instantly disappear from my body. Seonghwa huffed, running his fingers through his rich curls, looking frustrated as he walked a few steps closer. It wasn’t like him to lose his wits when we were dueling, and so, this was the first sign that told me something was bothering him as he couldn’t completely focus on the task at hand. But this was an exercise, a duel in which we had to demonstrate to the other students, so I pushed my worries aside and cast my next spell, “Fulgari!”

Much like Seonghwa’s spell, it was another one that bid your arms together, however, the ropes weren’t invisible anymore but red and thick, painful, as the charm tied your wrists together tightly. But Seonghwa knew how to counterattack it, and the ropes dropped midair as a white light was cast from his wand. Knowing that we didn’t have much time anymore and that Professor Merrythought was waiting for one of us to disarm the other, I acted quickly, “Expelliarmus!”

However, Seonghwa’s simultaneous attack was silent as it shot from his wand, and our spells clashed in the middle, exploding with a loud boom after they’d tangled up for a few seconds. I gasped as the force pushed me backward, almost making me stumble to the floor. The hem of my robe had caught in the heel of my boots, and as I tried to manage the issue, I felt my mind being prodded at. Not even having to concentrate on the action, my mind instantly blocked the intruder out, my mind’s barriers strong and stubborn, no matter how insistent the intruder became. I knew who it was, in this classroom only Tom Riddle was so talented enough to use Legilimens wandless and non-verbally, but he was least of my worries as Seonghwa’s glare was deep, mouth moving before I could register his words, “Relashio!”

I gasped as my wand was snapped out of my hand, clattering to the floor, making the students roar with claps and cheers, Professor Merrythought not even trying to calm them down as she walked towards Seonghwa and me. I gulped, feeling my cheeks tinge pink at the amateur mistake I had made, the fact even more embarrassing as I was disarmed by such a pathetic spell. But this is what a duel encompassed, and I took a deep breath and released it slowly as I felt Professor Merrythought’s hand on my shoulder, pulling me next to her as she had grabbed onto Seonghwa as well.

“Brilliant!” She exclaimed lips pulled into a huge grin, “Simply brilliant, my students! You will make such fine Aurors, the department will be blessed upon your arrival!”

I muttered a quiet thank you and bowed my head abashed, missing the cold look that crossed Seonghwa’s face upon hearing our professor’s words. Then, when the class had finally settled down, Seonghwa and I were ushered back to our previous spots, Professor Merrythought taking the lead as she started explaining the new spell we’d be learning today. I felt the uncomfortable prodding once again, and a little frustrated, I turned around and snapped at Tom without considering my actions first, “Stop it, Riddle!”

My exclamation thankfully wasn’t too loud, but it made a few heads turn our way. I gulped and averted my eyes flustered as Tom grinned, crossing his arms in front of his chest, “My apologies, but I failed to gain your attention any other way.”

“I am trying to pay attention to the new spell, Riddle,” I muttered as I faced the front of the classroom again, feeling the younger boy step closer as he loomed over my shoulders.

“But you already know it,” He muttered, voice devoid of any emotion and I just sighed, nodding and confirming his claim, “Well, then, let me offer you some friendly advice.”

“The Tom Riddle offering me some friendly advice?” I teased, looking over my shoulder with a chuckle, “So you finally admit that we’re friends?”

“Well,” Tom cleared his throat, looking uncomfortable, “if you think of us as friends, we shall be that, Y/N.”

Tom hadn’t been keen on addressing each other casually in public, but he’s been calling me by my name rather often lately, “And your advice is?”

“Ah, yes,” He cleared his throat again, leaning just a little bit closer to whisper in my ear, “use more non-verbal spells next time and maybe even wandless magic too, Park seems to struggle to defend those. And, try not to lose focus so easily, getting disarmed by Relashio out of all spells is rather embarrassing, Miss Song.”

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms in front of my chest, watching Professor Merrythought’s wand as she drew the movement of the spell slowly for us to see, “Thank you for pointing out that Relashio isn’t even a disarming spell.”

It was rare to see any sort of positive reaction from Tom, but he snickered as I felt him take a step back to offer me more space as he was done with the conversation, “Meet me later in the Room of Requirements?”

But apparently, he wasn’t done with the telepathic conversation, “Yes, at the agreed-upon time, I won’t be late this time.”

“You better not be.” Tom’s voice sounded unimpressed in my mind and I rolled my eyes, hoping nobody saw it, “And tell your boyfriend to stop staring daggers at my head, I could disarm and harm him in just a few seconds—”

“Thank you, Tom, that’s enough.” I snapped, never too keen when he tried to bash Seonghwa and his skills—or lack of them as Tom had so often remarked, “And get out of my head, now.”

His chuckle was cut short as I raised the barrier once again, forcing Tom out of my mind. I knew it would be painful to him and I didn’t mind as lately he’s been trying to prod at my mind way too often. But being a born Occlumens came with its perks, no matter how much Tom tried to peek inside my head, he’d only be allowed inside as long as I let him. Having realized that he had some control issues, I didn’t let him know about that little piece of information, for my own peace of mind, really. Feeling like somebody was drilling holes into the side of my head, I looked over to the Ravenclaws, a little taken aback by the dark look in Seonghwa’s eyes and the sneer on his lips. He looked irritated, and as we made eye contact his expression hardened for a second before he looked away, ignoring me for the rest of the class. I had only sighed, paying attention to Professor Merrythought for the rest of the class.

            Once class was over everyone pilled outside quickly, eager for the short break before our next class would start. Wanting to speak to Seonghwa in private, I stayed back with the hopes that he’d do the same, but when Professor Merrythought noticed me and asked if I had wanted to speak to her, I realized it was just her, myself, and Lovegood in the classroom. I bid her farewell and then scurried outside, sighing long as I felt disappointed that Seonghwa had left without me even noticing it. He was mad at me, that was now certain, and we wouldn’t have the possibility to meet until dinner or our Prefect duties as this was the last class we shared today. I held the strap of my satchel bag tightly as I gnawed on my bottom lip, wondering whether I could use an excuse and search for him between my classes, when suddenly a classroom door was thrown open and I was harshly yanked to the left by my arm. I gasped as I stumbled, failing to keep up with the aggressive tugging, my back hitting a wall rather painfully as my heart had started racing, eyes widening as I felt warm lips pressing against mine. It took me a second to register what was happening.

I was face to face with Seonghwa, who had me pinned between himself and the wall, holding the side of my neck firmly with his right hand as his left one gripped my hip, fingers digging into the fabric of my uniform. His eyes were open and glaring at me despite his heated kiss, and it only made me flush more as I felt his tongue force itself between my lips while his fingers sneaked up towards my jaw, tilting my head up as he had to lean down, just slightly, due to our height difference. My heart hammered against my ribcage as the satchel bag fell from my shoulder, landing with a loud thud as I gripped his robe’s collar, the fabric a lot softer than mine. Seonghwa’s tongue lapped at mine fiercely, stealing my breath away as I felt his hand slip from my hip, trace the inside of my thigh as it slowly slipped underneath my knee-length skirt. I gasped and gently pushed him back, breathing hard as his right hand held my nape, fingernails pressing into my frail skin, “Seonghwa—”

“Did you have fun flirting with Riddle right in front of me?” His tone was harsh, voice raspier than usual, and I gulped, his hand slipping higher up underneath my skirt.

“Seonghwa, I wasn’t flirting with him.” My voice trembled as he leaned closer again, lips tracing the skin of my neck, feather-like, making goosebumps erupt all over my skin. My hands released the collar of his robe as they slipped higher up, circling his neck as my fingers got tangled in the wavy strands of his hair, “I’ve told you so many times that I’m not interested in him—”

“Well, you certainly don’t act like it.” I gasped as his sharp teeth sunk into the skin of my neck, making my stomach coil as his other hand stopped at my groin, caressing my flesh through my stockings, “I’m sick of seeing him prance around you like a lost puppy, my love.”

“He’s just a boy.” My eyebrows furrowed as Seonghwa’s head snapped up, a sneer on his face.

“Just a boy?” He scoffed and leaned incredibly close, lips brushing against mine as he spoke, “He’s barely one year younger than us, Y/N.”

Sighing loudly, I pressed a chaste kiss against his lips, seeing his eyes shake for a second, his anger dissipating slightly, “Yet I only see the little boy I guided to the Slytherin common room in his first year in him, my love, he’s nothing but like a brother to me.”

“He has no boundaries.” Seonghwa huffed, jaw clenching and unclenching as I kissed his cheek, right side and then left side, then pulled him slightly lower to kiss his forehead too. Seonghwa’s grip visibly softened, his finger rubbing circles into my hipbone under my skirt.

“I know how to put him in his place if he ever goes too far, which he has never done before.” I muttered reassuringly as I ran my fingers through his hair gently, knowing that he loved the ministration, “Abraxas is touchier than Tom will ever be, yet you make no scene when he’s with me.”

Seonghwa scoffed, gripping my chin as he tilted my head up again, “Because it’s clear he’s not interested in courting you, he’s touchy with everyone.”

I chuckled as I coaxed his lips towards mine, my eyes fluttering closed as Seonghwa’s lips gently, but firmly, pressed against mine, our lips playing a gentle dance as they moved at a calmer pace, following the other’s rhythm as I let Seonghwa take the lead, our lips slotting perfectly against each other. His breath hit my face as he nipped at my bottom lip, enjoying the way my lips chased after his again, capturing his bottom lip between mine as I felt his hand very slowly slip towards my crotch. I keened, pushing him back by the shoulders when he had started rubbing circles against my clothed core, “I need to get to the greenhouse, Hwa, we can’t do this now.”

“You can skip Herbology,” Seonghwa whispered as his lips brushed against my ear, I bit my bottom lip, eyes fluttering closed, “it’s not that important.”

Before I could succumb to the feeling of Seonghwa’s fingers teasing me, I gripped his wrist and pushed his hand away, blinking my eyes open, “I’m not going to skip classes because you want to have sex, Seonghwa. You can wait until tonight.”

“Yeah?” He grinned, round eyes glinting dangerously, “I can?”

“Unless you want to throw another jealous fit over the fact that I’ll be studying with Tom later on.” I mused and pursed my lips as Seonghwa’s expression hardened again. He was so easy to irk, his face hid nothing as I cocked an eyebrow in challenge at him.

“Right,” He muttered, clearing his throat, “You’ll be busy with Riddle this afternoon—”

“I’ll be busy perfecting my Legilimency, yes.” I raised my eyebrows at Seonghwa as he hummed and stepped back, detaching himself fully from me. I licked at my lips and ran my hands through my hair, trying to get rid of any knots that may have formed.

“Find me after you’re done patrolling, then,” Seonghwa adjusted his tie and then patted down his robe, “I won’t be coming to dinner tonight.”

“Something wrong?” I asked with furrowing eyebrows as I leaned down to pick up my satchel bag.

“No, I just need to catch up on some assignments, is all.” He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. I didn’t say anything as he caressed my cheek with his warm hand, “I love you.”

I smiled widely, turning my head lightly to press a kiss against his wrist, “I love you too, Hwa.”

            Despite the sun trying to shine some light on the dire streets of London, the ever-grey clouds were everlasting, casting a gloomy shadow over the streets and the people that ventured outside. Lately, it seemed to be safer to go out and enjoy the much-needed social interactions, but people were still wary of the imminent threat posing over their heads. You just never knew when the enemy would strike, making you look over your shoulder at any given moment. London wasn’t anymore what it used to be, but reconstructions have started and there seemed to be light at the end of the permeating dark tunnel.

My coffee’s steam reached my nose as I forgot of its existence, my eyes having fallen on two children who had their palms out and were timidly asking for money from the passerby people. My heart broke at the sight of such innocent lives having to suffer so much, unwanted scenarios clouding my mind. They could’ve lost their parents, or maybe they still had them, but the war made them homeless and this is was the best they could do. I hated how most people didn’t even cast a glance at the obviously suffering children, their clothes strewn in places, cheeks dirty with dust. They clung to each other, the boy taller by a head as he clutched the younger girl to his side, pulling her back when a postman paid them no mind as he barrelled down with his bicycle on the pavement. But before my anger could get the best of me, the bell to the small coffee shop chimed, and I looked over, heart settling at the familiarity of the man that was approaching my table. He wasn’t a coffee lover, not when we were mere teenagers, so I had ordered tea instead for him.

“Mr. Kim.” I smiled as I abandoned my cup and pushed my chair back, fighting the wide smile that tried to make it onto my lips. Kim Hongjoong and I haven’t been close during our days at Hogwarts, but due to a person that was present in both of our lives, we had the chance to share some fond memories. Hongjoong had always been a free spirit, unafraid to break rules here and there, trying to break free of the chains society placed on all of us. Even now, his hair was brushed back in an uncharacteristic way, the black ends tinged almost blonde. His clothes didn’t match in colour, his pants burgundy and his shirt a rather atrocious colour of yellow, the grey sweater thrown over it saving the outfit somewhat. His green coat was dark, and due to the colour of his pants, it made him look like a Christmas tree.

“Dear,” Hongjoong chuckled, his hug warm and comforting, arms circling my middle tightly, “are we back to being formal with each other now? Has it been that long since we left Hogwarts?”

I chuckled, arms tightening around him subconsciously as my chin pressed against his shoulder, eyes glazing over with sudden tears that took me off guard. I have missed the faces I have become familiar with at Hogwarts, the place where I was still innocent and in love with life, with the prospect of a bright future. A future that was now my present, neither bright nor innocent. I have never had many friends, keen on keeping to myself, and the life of an Auror made it hard to keep up with others. It was better for them; my field of work had no guarantee of me returning alive. And knowing that two of the people I considered my family, Mingi and Yunho, were first in line in harm’s way, made me prolong my hug with Hongjoong. It felt nice to be in a warm embrace for once.

“Four years and three months, more specifically.” I whispered as I reluctantly let go of Hongjoong, who gripped my bicep and gave it a reassuring squeeze before we both claimed our seats at the small round table.

“So, you’ve been counting,” Hongjoong muttered, looking down at his steaming hot tea, “as have I.”

I hummed, feeling a certain sad aura around Hongjoong as he carefully cradled the teacup in his hands, humming to himself as my eyes bore into the side of his head. I was curious of what was running through his mind, but entering it without his consent was a breech of privacy and the break of trust between the two of us. Picking his fragile mind apart would’ve been very easy. Finding what I was looking for would’ve taken only a few seconds and I could be on my merry way in no time, hunting down the man I was tasked to take out, but I was yearning for just a second of normalcy, for a second that could take me back to the past where I was happy, unafraid, in love.

“How is the Auror life, dear?” I smiled at the nickname, Hongjoong being the only person who’s ever addressed me so affectionately—besides my former lover, Seonghwa.

“Dangerous,” I sighed, raising my cup of coffee to take a small sip, “exhausting, and time consuming.”

“I’ve had to treat many Aurors since I’ve started working at St. Mungo’s, and each time I pray I do not come across you, dear.” Hongjoong’s expression was solemn, as if he was trying to repress memories that weren’t kind nor pleasant, “But you seem to be in great health, so I shall not worry so much anymore.”

I chuckled and placed the cup down, fingertips tracing the porcelain in order to keep my hands busy with something, “I’m rather agile, one of the best they have. But sometimes even I worry for my own safety, thank you for thinking of me so often, Hongjoongie.”

He smiled, reaching out to grab my wrist, “Sometimes I feel bad for the way things have ended between us—between the three of us, I mean.”

I gulped, the topic of Seonghwa inevitable anymore. But still, I tried to stall it for a little bit longer, trying to enjoy Hongjoong’s company for a little bit more before the real reason I was here would ruin our nostalgic reunion.

“Don’t fret on the past, Hongjoong, what’s lost is lost.” I gripped his hand with my right one, patting it gently, “How are the other nurses treating you at St. Mungo’s? I’ve heard there’s not many wizards working there.”

“The witches seem to love me,” Hongjoong chuckled, suddenly his cheeks red, “they praise me a lot and always fight on who gets to work with me. I’m treated nicely and they’ve accepted me rather quickly despite being a wizard.”

I gulped, knowing the tumultuous history of the Kim family, “And your parents?”

Hongjoong froze, eyebrows furrowing as he averted his eyes, “My mother is speaking to me again. My father…we know how he feels about me.”

“You’ve always done just fine without them,” I encouraged him, watching curiously as he grabbed my hand and flipped my palm upside down, “and if you need a friendly advice or just an evening spent drinking wine and reminiscing, you know were to find me, Hongjoongie.”

He chuckled, forefinger gingerly tracing the inside of my palm, making me shiver. It’s been long since someone had treated me so tenderly, ever since Yunho and Mingi have been sent onto their mission actually, “Have you cut yourself here?”

“Yes.” I answered surprised, “How did you know?”

“The skin is rougher here,” Hongjoong pressed his finger a little harder against where the cut was healed up, not even a trace of a scar, “Stop by St. Mungo’s when you have a little free time, I have the perfect potion to fix your skin. I’ve got quite the tricks up my sleeve now.”

As our eyes met, a beat of silence passed, then we both burst out in quiet giggles, pressing our hands against our mouths. Memories of all the failed potions made by Hongjoong resurfaced, most of those times Seonghwa or me being his test subjects. There were too few fingers on my hands to count the number of times Seonghwa, Hongjoong, and I had ended up in the Infirmary, on the brink of dying from dangerous toxins found in Hongjoong’s brews. And yet, we continued indulging in his shenanigans as he was too endearing to say ‘no’ to.

“I suppose you’ve stopped poisoning people now, right?” I raised an eyebrow, tone joking as Hongjoong bit his lower lip, cheeks flushing once again.

“No more failed experiments or potions that would send Slughorn up the wall if he were to know about them.” And once again, we started giggling behind our palms as Hongjoong seemed to finally loosen up, making me feel bad that I would soon deter the conversation to a delicate topic. But I didn’t have much time, I had to move fast if I wanted to catch Seonghwa when he least expected it.

“I suppose you meet all sorts of people at the hospital…” I trailed off as I grabbed my cup of coffee yet again and took a long sip, Hongjoong’s lips pursing as he traced the wooden design of the table.

“Yes, quite the personalities.” He mused, eyebrows raised slightly in question as I swallowed the coffee, biting my lower lip in hesitance.

“As a nurse your allegiances do not matter, you must save everyone—”

“That is correct.” Hongjoong’s tone had turned colder, his face losing its warm glow, a mask of indifference now replacing it. I sighed knowing that Hongjoong had probably caught on to where our conversation was headed now.

“I know you still keep in touch with Park Seonghwa.” I lowered my voice so nobody would hear us. Everyone knew who Grindelwald’s men were, I didn’t want to risk the chance of anyone overhearing our conversation, even if the coffee shop was only frequented by muggles. I chose this place for this specific reason, few wizards and witches ventured out into the heart of London, not keen of the life muggles lived here.

Hongjoong had frozen, jaw clenching as his cat-like eyes narrowed at me, “What does that have to do with me being a nurse at St. Mungo’s? Are you accusing me of something, Miss Song?”

I sighed, but I knew the jabbing was inevitable. Hongjoong had been very protective of Seonghwa even before our years at Hogwarts, “I am not accusing you of anything, I was just merely curious on who’s side you stand—”

“I stand on nobody’s side.” Hongjoong snapped, pushing his teacup far away from himself, glaring at it suspiciously. He must be wondering whether I had slipped Veritaserum in it, but I would never do that to him, “I stand on the side of the victims I must save, on the side of justice, and on the side that doesn’t harm but protects instead. Do you fathom there’s a side like that? One that does not harm, but only protects?”

“No.” I whispered, averting my eyes from Hongjoong’s intense gaze, visibly irritated, “We’re trying to do our best, I promise, but I cannot guarantee that innocent folk won’t be harmed in the process of stopping Grindelwald.”

“You’re just doing your job,” Hongjoong’s tone softened, “and so am I, and so is Seonghwa—”

“Seonghwa is killing innocent wizards and witches for a cause that is irrational, for a cause that aims to harm muggles that aren’t at fault for being the way that they are. This isn’t a job!” Hongjoong’s eyes widened as my voice gradually raised, never the type to lose my cool. My heart had started racing and I felt anxiety creeping up my chest, through my throat, making me chew on the inside of my cheeks. I scrapped at my hand, averting my eyes as Hongjoong’s stare became too much, making me feel like he was judging me. Maybe I have misjudged his character, maybe he is on Seonghwa’s side, after all.

“Y/N,” But his voice was soft and I felt his hand grip mine, gently stopping me from scratching my skin until it was raw and red, “I know how hard it was when you found out about Seonghwa’s ambitions and beliefs, and I know you still feel guilty and think you played a part in him becoming like this. But as someone who’s known him since he was a little boy, Seonghwa’s always dreamed of doing big things, of changing our world into the better. You couldn’t have stopped him even if you had known of his plans since early on—”

“Then help me.” I felt choked up as I looked at Hongjoong swiftly, eyes shaking as I gripped his hand. His eyebrows were furrowed and he gulped as my eyes glossed over, his words ringing through my ears. He was right, I have always felt guilty for not noticing the blatant signs of Seonghwa’s true beliefs. He’s never been kind to muggles at Hogwarts, he’s always made snide remarks about them, and he’s mentioned joining a cause one day that purified our Wizarding World. I thought he was simply aspiring to join the Ministry, like many others wanted. Instead, he decided to join the cause of a man who thought wizards were superior to muggles and wished to subdue them, and force them to live in fear for the rest of their lives, “I need to talk to Seonghwa, please tell me where he is. Hongjoongie, you’ll be helping a greater cause than yourself and even myself. I must find him and—”

“You’re an Auror, Y/N.” He cut me off sharply, yanking his hand out of my grip as he shook his head feverishly, “If you find him, then what? Will you interrogate him and lock him up in Azkaban for a few months until he gives in and admits to his mistakes? We both know that’s the last thing Seonghwa will do if he’s ever captured. You’ll kill him—”

“I won’t—”

“You’ll kill him, and I cannot set up my best friend for his death.” He snapped angrily, cheeks red as his eyes were tear-filled, “I cannot wrap my mind around the fact that you sought me out for such a feat. You should be ashamed of yourself, Miss Song, for even thinking that I would help you out with such an atrocious thing. I love Seonghwa more than anyone, you have deeply wounded me, Miss Song, I have expected more of you.”

“Hongjoong—” Heart breaking as he swiftly stood and left with a last piercing look, I slumped back in my chair and tried not to let the sob break through my lips, cheeks damp from the tears that fell down them. Yes, I have been a fool for seeking out Hongjoong, I knew he’d never give away Seonghwa’s location, but he was my first and last option in trying to find Seonghwa in a way that I could negotiate with him, try to deter him from his cause, save him from a harsh sentence. And I have failed, and now I’ll have to kill the man that I have never stopped loving.

Having lost my appetite for anything, I stood hastily and wore my dark coat, pulling on my gloves to protect my hands from the freezing air. I gathered my purse and clutched it tightly in my hands, storming out of the coffee shop as I felt around for my bonnet inside the purse. The heart of the city was buzzing with people as the hour was nearing noon, the loudness of it all irritating my ears as I tried to walk between the people to the closest Portkey leading to the Wizarding World. But just as I was about to cross the road, I felt a hesitant tug on my coat. Alarmed and ready to defend myself, I whirled around and searched for whoever had touched me, only to find the siblings looking up at me with pleading eyes. Tapping the tears off my cheeks quickly, I opened my purse and crouched down as I fetched the pastries I have bought earlier for breakfast.

“Have this,” I handed them to the little girl, who had a runny nose and whispered a ‘thank you’. I pushed around in search for the little muggle money I still had, and once I found it, I gave it to the boy who looked beyond grateful and even bowed his head in gratitude. Feeling helpless that I couldn’t do more for them, I grabbed the bonnet that I knew I wouldn’t wear again, and placed it onto the little girl’s head. It was big and it fell in her eyes, but she grinned as her brother tried to adjust it for her, making my heart swell, “Take care of each other.”

The two nodded with eyes glistening, and I gulped down the lump that’s formed in my throat and stood tall once again, hurrying away before I felt the overbearing need to break down in the middle of a muggle filled street. I would finish this mission even if I lost my life in the process of it, it didn’t matter, it didn’t matter because innocent children and innocent common folk were the one suffering the consequences of these tyrants that ruled over our worlds.

20th of December, 1943

             Slughorn’s Christmas parties were catalogued somewhat legendary and, thus, have always been talked about in the hallways of Hogwarts. Those who were invited mentioned it in excited exclamations and those who weren’t in whispers with envious tones. I had been part of the lucky few who got invited, being part of Slughorn’s Slug Club for a good two years now, and I couldn’t have been happier. These parties were perfect for mingling with socialites and people of importance in the Ministry and other fields that piqued your interest. I had been lucky enough to meet a few well-known Aurors tonight, but my utmost luck struck when, despite his drunken state, Professor Slughorn pulled me aside to introduce me Theseus Scamander, the Head of the Auror Office. The professor had rambled on about my abilities and how talented and knowledgeable I was in the Dark Arts, painting me as a very talented duellist to Mr. Scamander. He had been eager to listen to his former professor, giving me knowing glances and a dashing smile. I couldn’t help but blush a little, the Fire Whiskey I had—secretly—drunk with Abraxas getting the best of me. Unable to hide his amused smile anymore, Theseus had excused us with the pretext that we’d head over to the delicious candy bar and serve ourselves with chocolate frogs, to which our professor couldn’t object as, he, himself loved it.

“He’s quite the talker, isn’t he?” Theseus laughed as he gently guided me through the crowd of students and outsiders, his hand holding my gloved elbow. My dress was modest, adorning the emerald green of my house that I wore proudly. The neckline was a sweetheart design, sleeveless, and the upper part of the dress was moulded tightly against my body, a silvery fabric creating the illusion of a belt around my waist. From the waist, it flowed down to my ankles in a simple A-line, highlighting my long legs. I had a thin, sheer, shawl around my shoulders—but I have abandoned that at the dinner table as it had started annoying me—and instead wore my silvery satin gloves that reached just above my elbows.

“He certainly let’s go of himself when alcohol is involved.” I said quietly, earning a chuckle from Theseus as we reached the candy bar. It was hard to choose just one delicacy as the table was littered with at least fifteen types of desserts, and I watched as Theseus grabbed a plate rather eagerly.

“I couldn’t wait for the annual Christmas party back when I was a student here,” Theseus said as he started placing different delicacies on his plate, “the dessert was the best part of the night—apart from the Fire Whiskey.”

He glanced at me briefly and winked cheekily, making me chuckle as I averted my eyes with a shy blush on my cheeks. He chose a rose shaped tart that was filled with marzipan, and it reminded me of Seonghwa as it was his favourite dessert. Wondering where he was—since he had disappeared around half an hour ago—I searched the crowd while Theseus was busy filling his plate.

“Is it you who wants to be an Auror, or are your professors pushing you towards this job?” Theseus’ question earned my attention as I looked back at him, unsuccessful in my mission of finding Seonghwa.

“It is me.” I answered with a smile, fiddling with my fingers nervously, “I hate injustice, and I hate seeing our world get torn apart as Grindelwald is trying to ruin us. I want to help in stopping him, I want to be a figure that others can entrust their lives to. I want to protect the innocent, and I am not scared to sacrifice myself for others. And when he’ll finally be stopped, I will continue dedicating my life to help the right cause.”

Theseus hummed, his eyes softening as they quickly took in my form, a pleased look crossing his features, “You sound quite determined, and you look tough too. I have spoken to Professor Merrythought about any student she deemed fit for the role of an Auror, and I am positive she talked about you for almost an hour, Miss Song.”

I gulped, feeling warmth spread through my chest in happiness that I had been praised so extensively by my professor to a very important and prominent person in the Ministry, “I’ve still got two years until I graduate, but I hope to join you as soon as possible.”

“I cannot wait for that day to come, Miss Song.” Theseus grinned, grabbing the rose dessert, “I can already tell you’ll be great; you sort of remind me of myself, actually.”

“I do?” I asked with a surprised tone, feeling my smile get even bigger.

“Indeed.” Theseus hummed and then took a bite of the rose as I tried to contain my glee, my mouth hurting from smiling so widely. Suddenly, there was a presence next to me, and I felt a hand gently grip my shoulder, the hold familiar but rather cold. I turned my head and was met with Tom’s piercing-blue cold eyes looking down at me impassively.

“Mr. Scamander.” He greeted the Auror with a tight smile on his lips.

“Mr. Riddle.” Theseus was in the middle of chewing his dessert, but he quickly forced it down his throat and shook Tom’s hand.

“Do you mind if I steal Miss Song for a dance?” Tom’s voice was suddenly light, dripping with sweetness as his face morphed into a warm smile, “Have I interrupted an important conversation?”

“I have said what I wanted to Miss Song, if she wishes so, you can steal her for a dance.” Theseus winked, our gazes meeting as suddenly his thoughts flooded my mind. For a powerful Auror like him, it took me off guard to find his mind so defenceless. Perhaps he didn’t see a reason to guard his thoughts in the confines of Hogwarts, and before I could correct him that there was nothing between Tom and myself—as Theseus’ thoughts claimed—I was already whirled around and guided towards the crowded dance floor. The orchestra played a nice tune, slow but not to the point all you could do was step left and right. Tom placed his hand on the middle of my back as he held my hand in his other one, a respectable distance between our bodies as he started leading.

“Any reason you wanted to dance with me?” I asked with narrowed eyes, knowing for a fact that Tom never danced. He hated dancing or standing as close to somebody as we were stood right now.

“Hmm,” He hummed, his tone low and his voice pleasant to the ears as he spoke up again, “you looked like you needed a little saving.”

“Speaking to Mr. Scamander was pleasant,” I shrugged, holding onto Tom’s shoulder tighter as we narrowly avoided a drunken couple, “You could’ve tried to save me when I was talking to Professor Slughorn and the spouses that work at St. Mungo’s, instead. They are weird.”

“They are peculiar people, indeed.” Tom muttered, eyes falling on my face, “But they are incredibly smart and good assets to a team.”

“What team?” I asked confused, eyebrows furrowing. Tom was leading us out of the crowded dance floor, thankfully, more towards the side where we’d have more space and wouldn’t have to avoid every second drunken couple. A platinum blonde hair popped up in the crowd not far from us, and I stifled a laugh as Abraxas tried not to topple over as he was led towards the exit by his date.

“Well,” Tom started, eyebrows lightly furrowing as he mused over his words, like he didn’t know how to formulate his next words. That was unexpected from Tom as he was a good speaker, and an intelligent person, “let’s put it this way. You build an army of people that are magically gifted, but smart too, and you lead them to victory.”

“Why would you need this army?” I asked as I grew even more confused, “Are you talking about Grindelwald?”

“We can take him as an example, yes.” Tom chuckled, a smirk pulling at his lips as our eyes bore into each other’s, making me wonder for a split second if he was hiding something from me, “The people he has on his side aren’t just strong and powerful wizards and witches who excel at magic, they are also intelligent and strategize with him, leading him towards victory—”

“You think Grindelwald will prosper in this war?” I asked, feeling myself irked at such vile thoughts. Grindelwald wouldn’t win, I would become an Auror just to make sure of it.

“No, of course not.” Tom whispered, an easy smile adorning his lips and I felt his fingers gently rub against my knuckles. I sighed and looked away, surveying the crowd in hopes that I would finally find my lover. I missed him, I wanted to be by his side and dance with him, “Are you enjoying yourself?”

“Of course.” I chuckled, but my eyes were still searching the crowd as Tom cleared his throat, turning us around so that I was facing the exit now. My eyes stopped on the familiar form of my lover, and my eyebrows furrowed in wonder as I realized Seonghwa was speaking to Rabastan Lestrange and his parents, “Are you?”

“I hate these events, actually, even the Slug Club, but if I wish to remain in the graces of our daft professor, I must—”

“I am really sorry for cutting you off like this, Tom.” I released my hold on Tom and took a step back, eyes hastily falling back on the Slytherin boy, “But I’ve finally found my lover, I hope you don’t mind.”

“Right,” Tom’s expression faltered, then returned to being cold as he nodded towards Seonghwa, “I’ll see you around. But, Y/N, did you know Park and Lestrange have been acquittances for quite a while now?”

My eyebrows furrowed as I bit my lower lip, wondering if Seonghwa had ever mention Lestrange to me, “Of course, there are no secrets between Seonghwa and I.”

I felt the slight prodding at my mind, but Tom got nowhere near my thoughts as I have carefully guarded them all night. I bowed my head slightly before I walked away from the dance floor, nearing my lover and the Lestrange family with a soft smile on my lips. Rabastan was the first one to notice me, and he loudly cleared his throat, eyes jumping between Seonghwa and my approaching form. Seonghwa stiffened and I tried to mask my confusion as I stood next to my lover, “Good evening.”

“Good evening, Miss…?” Rabastan’s father was a gruff man, scary-looking, and rather unfriendly as his voice was harsh.

“Song, Song Y/N.” I answered and offered him my hand before I greeted his wife, who looked stoic and glared at me viciously. But I remained unphased as I continued smiling.

“Song,” She muttered, eyes narrowing as she shared a glance with her husband, “your parents are quite prominent figures in the Ministry, aren’t they?”

“Yes.” I answered, not keen of talking about my parents. It was always about them, never about me. They’ve made their own reputation already, I wanted to make one for myself.

“Y/N is just as brilliant as her parents, if not more.” Seonghwa mused with a warm tone, lips pulled into a dashing smile as I felt his arm sneak around my middle and gently pull me into his side. My muscles softened as his familiar warmth and cologne embraced my being, making me look up at him with a small grin. Rabastan’s parents exchanged a glance as their son cleared his throat again, looking rather awkward.

“And you make a pair, I assume.” Rabastan’s father quirked an eyebrow, not looking very impressed by the prospect. Before I could answer, Seonghwa hummed lowly and I felt his fingers flex against my hips in a quiet request to remain silent. I bit my bottom lip, but adhered to his request.

“Yes, Miss Song and I had been quite the academic rivals, but I suppose in our fifth year we found common ground and discovered together we are more powerful, our knowledge forever expanding.” Seonghwa’s answer made my eyebrows furrow as I turned my head to look at him with a questioning gaze, but he continued looking at the Lestranges, who seemed pleased with his answer.

“Well, yes, she is a Slytherin like our son,” Rabastan’s mother said with a chuckle that was filled with vice, “but she might take after her parents, after all.”

Fed up with the cryptic conversation, I chuckled and flashed the Rabastans an apologetic smile before I cradled Seonghwa’s cheek in my hand and turned his head to face me, “May we dance? You’ve neglected me the whole night, my love.”

“My apologies,” Seonghwa hummed and kissed my wrist as I let my hand fall from his face, the two of us looking back at the Lestranges, “It was a pleasure talking to you and meeting you Mr. and Mrs. Lestrange, I shall see you around—hopefully.”

They nodded wordlessly as Rabastan bid us farewell, and I intertwined my fingers with Seonghwa’s as I led us back to the dance floor, the crowd a little more dispersed now than it has been when I was dancing with Tom. The orchestra now had started playing slow tunes, all the dancing couples swaying gently to the music. I sighed as I felt Seonghwa’s arms slip around my hips to pull me close in, my arms circling his shoulders as our bodies flushed together, my nerves and muscles easing at the familiar press of his body against mine. Seonghwa’s round eyes had a warm glow in them, his cherry-like lips pulled into a soft smile. I chuckled and fought the muscles in my body yearning to press a kiss against his lips, and instead let my eyes travel down to the early Christmas gift I had given him earlier this morning. Seonghwa and I would be going home tomorrow, meaning that we wouldn’t spend the holidays together like last year, when Hongjoong, his best friend, decided to stay at Hogwarts due to his horrible parents and Seonghwa and I decided to stay too, to keep him company. It was one of the best Christmases I have ever had.

My gift was something small, a thin silver chain necklace with a small star pendant hanging on it, representing the way I viewed Seonghwa. He was bright and beautiful, always glimmering in the darkness and guiding me through my hardships, helping me sparkle as bright as him. He was an inspiration and so easily lovable that sometimes I felt like I fell for him over and over again each day.

“I had no idea you knew Rabastan Lestrange?” I raised an eyebrow as Seonghwa sighed, our moves smooth as he twirled us around.

“Barely.” He muttered, dipping his head low, his breath fanning my face, “Did Professor Slughorn introduce you to Theseus Scamander? I saw you talking to him.”

“He did!” I beamed, Seonghwa’s eyes creasing as he smiled back at me, “I am so happy I met him tonight, he said he cannot wait for me to join the Auror’s Office.”

“Is that so?” Seonghwa hummed, making my eyebrows furrow in confusion. He didn’t look too eager, but he chuckled upon seeing my reaction, it didn’t sound amused, “With how eager Riddle was to whisk you away for a dance, I figured you couldn’t talk much to Mr. Scamander.”

“Seonghwa,” I sighed, interlacing my fingers around his neck as I tilted my head back, “can we not do this here? Can we just not talk about Tom for one second?”

“How can I not talk about Riddle when he’s openly trying to court my partner—”

“Seonghwa.” I snapped quietly as I didn’t want anyone to overhear our useless argument, “Tom hates every female that breaths around him withing a meter radius, can you please for the love of Merlin stop this nonsense?!”

“I cannot.” He hissed, eyes narrowing as our steps faltered, “You fail to see the issue at hand, Y/N, he hates every female but you. And I cannot stand that—”

“Why are you so jealous when I have never given you a reason to be?” I cut him off, eyebrows furrowing in annoyance.

“Because you’re mine and I cannot fathom losing you, I just—”

“Park Seonghwa.” I sighed, cupping his cheeks as I shook my head at him, “You are the love of my life, I have never loved anyone before you and I will never love anyone else but you. I don’t want anyone else that isn’t you, and I will never do. You are my star and the reason I live for, and I trust you with my whole being and have given all of myself to you. Sometimes—I just wish you trusted me as much as I trust you. When you act like this, you make me feel guilty and bad, like I don’t deserve your love and you.”

Seonghwa’s bottom lip was between his teeth and he released a long sigh as his hands sneaked back to grip my hips, “Only Merlin know how much I love you, Y/N, how much faith I have in you, and just how much I trust you. It’s this irrational fear that I will lose you if I make a wrong move that makes me act like this. I don’t even care about Riddle—or anyone else—if I have one fear, it’s that of losing the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I might be your star, but a star cannot shine without darkness. I need you, promise me you’ll stay by my side no matter what.”

“I promise to forever stay by your side, Hwa.”

            Hongjoong was a good friend to Seonghwa, righteous, and ferociously protective. But even Hongjoong could tell apart right from wrong, unlike Seonghwa. And when I had gotten home after meeting him at the coffee shop, in the haste of searching for my yellow bottle of pills as my hands had started trembling once again, I found a small rolled up paper nestled between the white tablets. Eager to swallow the sedatives, I held the paper carefully, and after downing two tablets, I unrolled the paper, eyebrows furrowing when I realized it was an address to a fancy place in high-end London, where socialites mingled to their hearts wishes—both muggles, wizards, and witches alike. Hongjoong would never help me in taking down his best friend, but he also knew I was offering his best friend the easy way out this time. I would let him flee if he promises to never show himself around Grindelwald—I would do that because it’s Seonghwa. Because I cannot imagine a life without him even if he’s not by my side, just the thought of knowing he’s out there breathing and living keeps me going.

The casino Hongjoong had given me the address of was fancy and elite, only those who had an invite could enter. But I had connections, getting in was the easiest part. And perhaps, feeling nostalgic after having seen Hongjoong, I yearned to see more familiar faces that reminded me of my innocent childhood, familiar faces that could help me forget that I haven’t heard from Mingi and Yunho in a week. They were alive, that much we knew, but we had no idea if they had been discovered or injured, or if they have gone low-key in order to have even fewer chances of compromising their mission. Nonetheless, when I sent an owl to an old-time friend, I did not expect to receive an answer this eager, at least not from this particular person. Having taken my time to tidy up and make myself presentable, I slipped my bottle of pills inside my purse, knowing that there were great chances I would be seeing Seonghwa tonight—that was the whole point of me going to the casino. I was restless all day long and I had probably already taken too many of them, but the tremors of my hands never once stopped, and I could feel my heart race all day long. It was unsettling, but I knew there was nothing more I could do about it but slip the bottle in my purse and pray to Merlin for a successful mission. If I managed to get Seonghwa on my side tonight, much would change—the war would change.

There was a light smog in the air of London as I neared the casino, the evening breeze pleasant for once as the cobblestones were slippery from the previous rain. There was a light drizzle in the air still, but the invisible shield I had casted around myself to protect me from it was doing its job fairly well to keep me dry. My fur coat kept me warm as the nature of my dress was more daring tonight, attention grabbing on purpose. As I neared the entrance of the casino, lit up brightly and bustling with ladies and gentlemen that had bright smiles on their faces, I noticed a tall figure looming to the side in the darker corner of the street. Heartbeat halting, I hurried my steps as I clutched the invitation tighter in my hands, eager to see the man’s face from up-close. It’s been a few years since we’ve seen each other, I didn’t think he’d actually join me tonight. I knew he had his own ambitions, what those were exactly, I couldn’t tell. He’s always been secretive, but he’s made quite the reputation for himself after finishing Hogwarts. He was a young promising man, eager to chase after his desires.

“Miss Song!” His voice had gotten deeper over the years, but remained as velvety as always. My lips pulled into a smile as I was finally close enough to see his face clearly, and I was taken aback by the obvious changes the years have brought to his once youthful face. His eyes were still as bright and blue, perhaps even icier than they used to be, but his cheekbones had become hollower, skin ashier. He looked good, but he looked ghastly.

“Mr. Riddle.” I came to a stop in front of him with a big smile on my face, and was taken aback by the arms that have wrapped around me in a hug. Tom had always hated physical contact, I wondered if the passing of years had changed that, “You’ve changed. A lot.”

“Hopefully in a good way.” He chuckled as he released me, smirking dashingly at me. I would be lying if I said my heart didn’t skip a beat. I chuckled and shook my head, taking in his even taller, but lanky, form.

“I suppose yes,” I hummed, realizing that there were no traces of the young boy I have once viewed as perhaps my little brother, “You’ve grown taller, I didn’t think that was possible.”

Tom and I chuckled at the same time as he reached out again, squeezing my lower arm, “And you look stronger than ever.”

I hummed and tried to hide the way my tremors only worsened at his words, wanting to tell him that I was on the brink of falling apart every day. I wasn’t strong, I was far from being strong, I just refused to give in to the darkness until I have fulfilled my purpose, then I could finally let go. Give in to whatever madness threatened to pull my thoughts to an everlasting field of blackness, the stars absent from the night sky. Stars that have long abandoned me, left me alone to fend for myself, to figure things out without a guiding light.

“Let’s head inside, I’m beginning to feel cold.” I muttered as Tom hummed, offering his arm for me to take as he confidently waltzed us towards the entrance, the bouncer smiling at us pleasantly as I handed over our invitation. It seems that he already knew Tom, who, it turns out, frequents this casino rather often. The question was on the tip of my tongue, whether he sees Seonghwa here often or not, but I didn’t want to know. It was better not to know. I couldn’t start questioning Tom’s morality right now, I had to stay focused on the task at hand, which was finding Seonghwa and trying to coerce him onto my side.

            The place was buzzing with all sorts of people, all seemingly eager to socialize and make lasting connections. The interior of the casino was vast and covered in red and black décor, giving it a sultry but eloquent touch. We had barely walked in when our coats and purses were taken to a garderobe for safe keeping. And before Tom could explain much about the place and the type of events that were held here, we were swarmed by quite a few wizards and witches, all very keen of talking to Tom, of holding his attention for more than five minutes. It seems like that hasn’t changed since Hogwarts.

I remained by his side and smiled, only spoke up when I was addressed to as I was too busy searching the room—the crowd—for the familiar face that I was here in the first place. I had opted to wear a long-sleeved dress as it was still cold outside, the velvet fabric feeling soft against my skin, keeping me perhaps too warm inside the parched room. The neckline of it was a deeper cut, just shy of stopping at the swell of my breasts, and I had decorated my long neck with emeralds that glinted prettily under the light. The dress was long, I had to be careful not to step on it with the heel of my high heels, and it was a poison green, tricky as under the light it glimmered green, however, otherwise it appeared black. I had pulled my hair away from my face and curled the strands, letting them fall free against my back as simple emerald earrings decorated my ears.

I was itching to hold onto something as I tried not to fidget with my hands, preferably to feel the comforting weight of the bottle of pills, but as they were hidden away in my purse, the only reassurance that I wasn’t completely defenceless lay hidden under my long dress, strapped against my shin was my wand. Over the years, I have learned to excel in wandless magic completely, but just knowing that I had my wand on me helped ease my nervous heartbeat. My eyes never stopped surveying the crowd, waiting to spot those round eyes and cherry-red lips.

“Aren’t you the Songs’ daughter, my dear?” I felt a lady gently touch my arm in order to grab my attention, and I averted my eyes from the back of a man who seemed to have a form similar to Seonghwa’s.

“I am.” I answered the older lady with a pleasant smile, trying to seem cordial despite my nerves.

“Oh, you are gorgeous.” She whispered, fingering the velvet sleeve of my dress, lips pursed, “You were a Slytherin, yes?”

“Yes.” I hummed, glancing side ways at Tom, wondering whether he could save me from this stranger, but he was busy speaking to who seemed to be the lady’s husband, “Does that matter?”

“Well, Slytherins are highly regarded in our society, we are prestige, you know?” The old lady smirked, and I gently pulled my hands behind my back, feeling uncomfortable that she wouldn’t stop touching my dress.

“I wouldn’t call ourselves prestige when most from our house turn towards the usage of the Dark Arts in inconvenient and illegal ways.” I grumbled, trying to hide my distaste as the older lady chuckled, eyes narrowing at me.

“So, you seem to share your parents’ beliefs, after all.” I heaved a long sigh, looking at the lady with a pressing glare. It was always about my parents, about sharing their beliefs. I was fed up with hearing that over and over again. What did people expect of me? To follow the ‘path’ of other Slytherins and join dark causes? Why did everyone have prejudices of us? And most of all, why did everyone assume all Slytherins were evil and would turn against what was right to do?

“My parents are mighty people and proud of their legacy.” My voice was harsh as I squared my shoulders back, the older lady’s eyes slightly widened, “My mother was a Hufflepuff and she raised me with compassion and fierce love that taught me how to differentiate wrong from right. My father was a Ravenclaw that is beyond wise his years and values knowledge above anything else, he taught me that there is no reason to live if you don’t learn constantly, if you don’t find a passion that you excel in. Excuse me if I find no joy in slaying those innocents around me, if I don’t enjoy tea parties organized to discuss who would and who wouldn’t live another day. You, and everyone else, should know basic human decency and stop playing the Gods you’ll never be. I am Slytherin proud of my heritage, and Merlin be damned if I let another one look down on me because of my parents, who have achieved things far beyond your capability in this fragile life that we live. So, if you happen to have a problem with me, or the fact that I am a Song, please, speak to be bluntly and not in riddles.”

The older lady’s mouth hung open in shock, and we have earned the attention of Tom and the man he was talking to, the two looking just as taken aback as the lady. Well, Tom didn’t look that much surprised, his frown told me of his distaste towards my words, and the swift glare sent my way signalled to me to shut up. But I didn’t want to, my nerves were on a high and if one more person mentions my parents and the fact that I am the ‘Songs’ daughter’, I shall repeat my speech proud and loud for the whole room to hear. It wasn’t hard to guess that it was infested with Grindelwald’s people, and my stomach churned as I felt Tom’s fingers sneak around my wrist, holding it so firmly I almost winced in pain.

“She’s opiniated.” Is what the old man said at last, eyes narrowed as he pulled his wife closer into his side, “Is this who you’ve looked up to at Hogwarts? The woman you’ve mentioned before?”

My breath stilled as I looked at Tom confused, feeling suddenly uncomfortable as I tried to untangle his fingers from my wrist but he wasn’t letting go. Was Seonghwa right all along? Was Tom trying to veer me away from Seonghwa while we were at Hogwarts? Had I been actually blind to Tom’s advances? But that mustn’t have been possible, I’ve heard Tom say multiple times that he wasn’t capable of feeling love for anyone, nor was he interested in maintaining any relationships, not even friendships.

“I apologize for her harsh words,” Tom bowed his head humbly, making my eyebrows furrow, “in her field of work she must be blunt and unfiltered, sometimes that slips into her everyday life too.”

I grit my teeth, but remained silent as the older man chuckled, eyes twinkling as he took me in. My face was a mask of impassiveness despite the urge to jinx both him and his wife. Deciding that I didn’t want to partake in this wretched conversation anymore, I turned my head and allowed my eyes to survey the crowd again. I heard Tom’s voice, but I paid no mind to what words were said. I knew the older couple walked away with a laugh on their lips, and I felt Tom’s eyes piercing the side of my head, but I was frozen. My tremors returned in the worst way, making my arms tremble as I tried to gulp but my throat felt dry, eyes glassing over the longer I looked at the familiar, yet so foreign face of my once lover. He was far from us, in the heart of the crowd as he tipped his head back, lips pulled into a charming smile as he laughed. The sound was swallowed by the cacophony created by the conversing people and the playing orchestra, yet I could hear its warm timbre as if he were right next to me.

He had also changed, became less boyish looking and turned sharper in angles he didn’t have before. His jaw was sharp and his nose tall, his round eyes void of the softness I was so used to receiving from him. His cheekbones were more defined than before, his cheeks having lost the baby fat I so loved pinching, and his black hair was longer than I have ever seen it before, framing his face, falling onto his forehead as his bangs were styled carefully. Gone were his wild curls that he always struggled to keep in one place. Park Seonghwa has changed since the last time I’ve seen him, and I was afraid I couldn’t recognize him anymore. Had Grindelwald stolen away even the last remnants of my lover?

“I can’t breathe.” I croaked out as I held onto my middle, my muscles so tense I was in pain as I tried not to double over and empty the contents of my stomach. I needed my pills, I had to take them before I would cause a scene. Suddenly, as Seonghwa’s eyebrows furrowed and his eyes turned sharp, vigilante, and found mine, Tom obscured my view of him, eyebrows furrowed in concern, yet I couldn’t actually see the concern in his eyes, or on his face.

“Let’s head over to the bar,” He said quietly, grabbing my hand and stopping the absent-minded scratching I had started doing, “water will do you good.”

I hummed, unable to will my legs to move, and felt thankful when Tom gently coerced me towards the bar, nestling my arm in his as he pulled me into his side, his cologne foreign. There was nothing comforting about his presence, unlike how Hongjoong’s had been, and I struggled to regulate my breathing and frantic heartbeats, telling myself that I was here on a mission and that I had to place aside any feelings I felt towards Seonghwa. I couldn’t compromise my mission this way, I was here to offer Seonghwa a way out. If I wasn’t able to keep it together for just one night, then why was I even here?

Too wrapped up in my mind, I didn’t hear Tom speak to the bartender, nor did I see the glass of water that was placed in front of me until Tom poked my trembling hands and pushed the glass towards me. I quickly took it and gulped down the cool water in a few sips, thankful that the ache in my throat was finally soothed. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as I placed the glass back onto the surface of the bar, willing my muscles to loosen up as I licked my lips, Tom’s pressing stare becoming irritating. I exhaled slowly and opened my eyes, glancing over to Tom, voice raspy as I spoke up, “Thank you.”

“I’m here for you.” Tom muttered, grabbing my hand and making the hairs stand on my arms as I didn’t want to be touched. But I said nothing as I gulped and nodded once, focusing on my trembling hands as I knew Tom had noticed them, his eyes straying towards them. If only I could fetch my purse to take just one pill, it would help a lot right now. I sighed and had started pulling my hand away from Tom’s just as a person appeared right next to Tom, lean body leaning against the bar as his eyes were cold, narrow, and piercing.

“Good evening.” He spoke up upon making eye contact with me, and I forgot how to breathe all over again, “Miss Song, Mr. Riddle.”

“Mr. Park.” My voice was a mere whisper as our eyes bore into each other, mine desperately searching for a semblance of the man I used to love. But it was gone, innocence and youth long ripped from him, now only a shell of the dorky and geeky boy that used to recite poems to me that he found in muggle books. It broke my heart; it made me mad—it made my hands tremble even worse.

“Oh, and who are these?” A very thick accented female voice spoke up, her dark red lips pulled into a pleasant and friendly smile as her eyes rivalled Tom’s blueness. I gulped, eyes straying from her onto Seonghwa as he looked down at her, his expression softening as he placed an arm around her middle. I didn’t allow myself to feel anything upon seeing that as my eyes snapped back up to Seonghwa’s face, waiting for his next move.

“Old acquittances from Hogwarts.” He said easily, flashing the woman a quick fake smile, “This is Rhaena, she went to Beauxbatons.”

“Pleased to meet you!” Her French accent was irritating as she extended her hand to shake, eyes stalling on Tom for a second too long. I bit the insides of my cheeks, trying to reign in my scowl as Tom elegantly pressed a kiss against her knuckles, smirking at her with a charming gaze.

“My name is Song Y/N.” I introduced myself confidently once it was my turn to shake her hand, my handshake firm and perhaps too strong as Rhaena winced while my eyes landed on Seonghwa, my own lips pulling into an unamused smirk, “I must admit being introduced as mere acquittances leaves me with a distaste I didn’t think I’d harbour towards you, Mr. Park.”

Tom laughed loudly, watching Seonghwa with a challenging look as Rhaena turned and looked back at him with a quirk to her eyebrow, “My memories must be murky, my apologies, it’s been long since we’ve last seen each other, Miss Song. But I see you continue entertaining your old admirers—”

“Admirer is a strong word,” Tom cut him off with a chuckle, but it was far from being friendly as he glared at Seonghwa, “I merely admire Miss Song’s working etiquette, always have, ever since our time at Hogwarts, I suppose. Is it such a crime to look up to a strong, ambitious, and independent woman?”

I could see the spark of interest in Rhaena’s eyes the longer Tom talked, and it irked me. If she was with Seonghwa, why was she so openly interested in other men? Did Seonghwa not see? Did he not care? Seonghwa deserved better than a woman who couldn’t remain loyal to him.

“Ambitious with foolish ideas—” Before Seonghwa could finish his jab and break my heart more than it was already, Rhaena interjected, smiling widely at Tom. I knew he wasn’t interested in her, but it was scary how well he played his act of looking interested in the eager woman.

“I have always loved a man who is able to recognize the power his partner holds and worship her like a queen.” Rhaena’s lips pulled into a suggestive smirk as she licked her lips, eyes raking over Tom’s body, making me feel uncomfortable as I eyed the two. Tom chuckled under his breath but I noticed the way his jaw clenched and unclenched.

“You’re too daring for me, Miss Rhaena.” Tom settled with saying, making the French woman pout as she suddenly pressed herself to Seonghwa’s side, who was glaring at Tom’s blatant rejection.

“And Miss Song isn’t?” Seonghwa’s lips pulled into a vicious smile, face contorting into something sinister as he continued with an air of insignificance, “After all, Aurors take great pride in their work and never place anyone above themselves.”

“Miss Song knows the distinction between her personal life and her work.” Tom snapped back, grabbing the sleeve of my dress when I started shuffling on my feet, feeling uncomfortable by the exchange. I felt a little prodding in my mind and as I glanced at Tom, he was already looking at me with a frown. I nonverbally reassured him that I was okay, and finally admitted to him that I was here on a mission. He understood quickly and didn’t ask questions, only stated that he’d help me with whatever.

“So, you two are married, then? Rhaena kept on antagonizing us as our telepathic conversation was broken, and my eyebrows furrowed as I scoffed.

“Tom is an old friend that I have always been fond of, are you married to Seonghwa?” Perhaps my tone was too snappy, perhaps my words gave away too much. I gulped, realizing that my emotions were getting the best of me, making me ponder again whether I should just go ask for my purse to take another pill. Things were going horribly; this isn’t what I had planned for the night.

“No.” It was Seonghwa who answered, voice deep and laced with anger, “What are you doing here, Miss Song? I haven’t seen you at the casino before.”

“I’m here to accompany Tom as he’s told me he’s been feeling rather lonely on his visits to the casino.” I plastered on a fake smile, levelling my voice so that they wouldn’t be able to tell that I was lying. Even Tom seemed to be surprised as he hummed next to me in confirmation of said lie, tilting his head as he looked at Seonghwa challengingly, “It’s a nice break from my work that you seem to know so much of, Mr. Park.”

But Rhaena seemed to be stuck on a different part of the conversation, “Mr. Riddle, would you like to be my first dance partner of the night?”

I stiffened as Tom chuckled, giving me a quick glance before he nodded and extended his hand for Rhaena to take. She batted her eyelashes at him and pursed her lips as she waved at Seonghwa, walking off with Tom towards the dance floor. I gulped, eyes stuck onto them as I subconsciously started rubbing my left hand, nails digging into my skin painfully, scratching the skin as it left marks. My heart had started hammering against my chest, and I couldn’t face Seonghwa as I felt his piercing gaze bore into the side of my head. I knew why I was here; I knew what I wanted to say to him, but his hostile attitude wasn’t something I had expected, and now I felt like I needed to rethink and reformulate everything I had wanted to say to him.

Jumping at the sudden warm touch against my hand, I faced Seonghwa with wide eyes as he squeezed my fingers, stopping me from scratching my skin up more. My eyebrows furrowed as my hand tingled, leaving my throat dry once again as Seonghwa’s expression was blank, his round eyes having lost their beautiful and warm glimmer.

“Will you dance with me?” His voice was quiet, tone almost dejected, and I gulped as I nodded wordlessly. He didn’t release my hand, instead, he intertwined his fingers with mine as he led the way towards the dancing crowd, making my insides churn at the familiar feel of his larger palm pressing against my small one.

For a second, I felt like a teenager back at Hogwarts, dancing with Seonghwa under the moonlight to a melody that he so often hummed. But the bodies that nearly collided into mine did a good job of helping me repress the memory to stay level-headed, and instead, I straightened my back and finally remembered what I was taught when I was training to become an Auror. The mission was my number one priority now, and so, I repressed all emotions and slipped a neutral expression onto my face as Seonghwa stopped in the middle of the crowd and turned around to face me. He raised our intertwined hands and yanked me towards himself, taking me off guard as I stumbled into his body. He swiftly grabbed onto my hip and I steadied myself as I held onto his shoulder, turning my head away to gaze over it as Seonghwa’s eyes landed on my face. My heart was hammering against my ribcage, skin burning everywhere it touched Seonghwa’s.

It felt familiar being in his hold, warm and comforting, yet his body was tense and on-alert. Seonghwa was a smart man, he knew if I was here, other Aurors might be too, he was on the look-out in case he needed to flee. My body was tense too, but for different reasons. I was trying not to give in to the yearning of my consciousness after the warm body that I knew so well, the embrace that made me feel like the luckiest person on the planet, the lips that ignited my skin on fire wherever they touched. I have missed Seonghwa so much that sometimes I wondered if my impeding madness was imposed upon me by our separation.

“It’s unexpected seeing you here.” Seonghwa muttered carefully, voice void of the previous hostility. I gulped and nodded, having to agree with him.

“I was curious of this place.” That wasn’t a total lie, and Seonghwa could tell. I felt his finger graze against my knuckles, gently rubbing them, but I ignored it for my peace of mind—which I was already struggling with.

“And how do you like it?”

“It’s too pompous, fake, prestigious.”

“People are here to make beneficial connections, of course it’s fake.” Seonghwa’s voice had dropped low so that nobody but me would hear him. I hummed, licking my lips as I felt him pull me more into himself as we danced around in a small circle, his familiar cologne making my head spin. Even after all these years, he looked and felt like the Seonghwa I once fell in love with.

“Your hair is long now.” I had no idea why I said that but I couldn’t take it back now, and Seonghwa’s steps stuttered for a second, making me step on my dress.

“I’ve always liked it better like this,” He said once he cleared his throat, “I kept it short because my parents didn’t like it.”

“I know.” I whispered and closed my eyes, giving in to my body’s cravings as I felt Seonghwa’s hand slip lower, press firmly against my lower back as our bodies flushed together, making me let out a stuttered breath.

“And your parents, are they well?” I felt bile rise up in my throat upon the question that left his mouth. He knew about them, of course he did, it was his people who sent them into hiding. My parents had played an enormous part in discovering the identity of Grindelwald’s men and their hideout. Of course, they were being hunted by Grindelwald now. I wasn’t safe either, but I was an Auror now, a talented one, Grindelwald wouldn’t waste his time on somebody who could very well defend themselves against him and his army. At least, not yet. I’m sure my time will come too.

“You’re being a hypocrite right now, Seonghwa.” I snapped, hearing him heave a sigh.

“They’ve always been kind to me, I do not wish mal-intent towards them—”

“And towards others?” I snapped, eyebrows furrowed as I pulled my head back to be able to look him in the eyes, “Towards all the innocent lives Grindelwald has taken—you have taken?!”

Seonghwa gulped, jaw clenching as his eyes narrowed, “There’s nothing innocent about being oppressed and having to hide our true nature while those mudbloods continue living their lives carefree and in peace.”

“Mudbloods.” I whispered, shaking my head in disappointment at Seonghwa, “You’re a half-blood, Seonghwa—”

“Enough.” Seonghwa snapped, his grip on my hand turning just a little painful, “I do not want to hear whatever you have to say—”

“Well, that is hilarious, Seonghwa.” I chuckled humourless, eyes narrowing at him in annoyance, “You cannot silence me, you cannot tell me what to do.”

“I can silence you,” He gulped, eyebrows furrowing, “for forever, if I want to.”

I froze, feeling a chill run down my spine, and then I just chuckled. I raised my eyebrows at him, looking him in the eyes challengingly, “Like you’ve silenced all those unassuming folk living in those village you burned to a crisp?!”

Seonghwa’s face contorted in anger, his round eyes narrowing as they stared me down fiercely, a dangerous glint in them, “What had to be done was done. They refused to join our cause.”

“A cause that is wrong and harms others, Seonghwa.” My voice raised slightly as I had lost my patience, our faces leaning in close as we both breathed through our noses harshly, glaring down each other, “You’ve done so many atrocities that you’re afraid to face the repercussions, isn’t it? It’s still not late, Seonghwa, if you come with me tonight, I can make things less painful for you. I can convince the officials to lessen your sentence, I can make them reason with you. If you say you regret everything you’ve done and that you will strive to fix your mistake, they will—”

“I will never do that.” Seonghwa hissed and I felt his breath fan my face, “I stand by what I believe in, I stand by what I have done, Y/N. You are on the wrong side, and you all will pay.”

Body shaking from both anger and anxiety, I tried to inhale deeply and exhale, but my throat felt restricted, and the longer I remained in Seonghwa’s arms the more choked up I would feel. I needed to get away, to get away from the man that didn’t resemble my once lover. This wasn’t the Seonghwa I had fallen in love with, this was—a monster standing in front of me. I bit my lower lip, feeling them tremble as I tried to supress the desperate need to cry, I wouldn’t do it. Not here, not in front of him, not ever again. I have cried enough because of him.

Feeling unsafe and cold in his arms, I tried to detach myself from Seonghwa, but his hold only tightened as his eyebrows further furrowed, looking like he was fighting with himself, a turmoil going on inside his mind. My blood froze over when my eyes slipped from his face, falling onto the necklace that sat against his black shirt, sparkling underneath the dim lights. It was the star necklace I had gifted him. Shaking my head, I looked back up in his eyes, grabbing onto the collar of his vest as Seonghwa’s arms held me in a firm embrace, fingers pressing painfully so into my lower back, “Seonghwa.”

And when his eyes shook, I knew he had lost control over himself, over his emotions, over his mind. I felt my eyes fill with tears for breaking even the little trust that’s remained between the two of us as our eyes bled into each other, making it easy for me to push through his fragile mind’s barriers. It was frightening how dark his thoughts were, revolving around murder and strategies of taking down even more people, of converting even more wizards and witches for their ‘greater’ cause. It was terrifying how good of a manipulator Grindelwald was, the fatherly look in his eyes when he looked at Seonghwa, the praises that left his mouth addicting—the complete opposite of Seonghwa’s muggle father who would never understand our world. I felt a small resistance trying to build itself back up in his mind, but I was stronger—Tom’s lessons at Hogwarts had paid off, the Auror training only making my acquired skills stronger—and so, I pushed forward, searching for anything that would be of use for future purposes.

In my search, I stumbled past sleepless nights spent staring up at the ceiling, of tear-filled eyes and salty cheeks as a familiar man cradled Seonghwa to his chest, shushing him and reassuring him of a bright ending. I heard broken whispers of my name as he’d wake up in a cold sweat from a nightmare, of lustful touches that were turned down in a haste at last, and ear-piercing shouts that sent everything tumbling to the ground, shattering. And then, painfilled screams and pleas for mercy, people on their knees crying, mothers cradling their children to their chests as their houses burned down and—a piece of parchment that would’ve been blank if it wasn’t for the name of the town scribbled down on it, Grindelwald’s harsh voice commanding my once lover to make everyone perish, nobody spared. He didn’t need anyone on his side from that village, he wanted revenge. Revenge on my parents and on everyone who’s ever tried to mislead him and take him down. Mingi. Yunho.

Seonghwa and I gasped loudly as he finally managed to push me out of his mind, not that I wanted to see anything beyond this. I have seen everything I needed. I had to alert the aurors of the attack Grindelwald had planned on our hideout. My heart raced in fear for my loved ones, and suddenly, I became aware of the hands holding my arms painfully, making me hiss out in pain as I looked up at Seonghwa’s face, feeling my heart still as his eyes were filled with tears, shaking, mouth agape as he looked speechless. I knew he’d hate me for invading his mind without permission, but I had to do it. Our trust in each other has been long broken; I was doing this for the greater good. Seonghwa wouldn’t understand, but he didn’t have to. Despite being a monster, he did something good, he contributed to saving hundreds of lives by weakening his mental barrier.

“You-you—” His voice was shaky as his eyebrows furrowed, body starting to shake from anger, “how could you?!”

“You made me do this, Seonghwa.” I gulped, jumping when he grabbed my nape painfully so, yanking our heads so close to each other that our lips brushed together. I felt my knees grow weak, it would be so easy to press my lips against his now, to feel the soft and plush skin against mine, to devour him and taste him. He’s always felt like home, but would he still feel like it? “You gave me no choice, Seonghwa.”

He scoffed, sneering at me as I whimpered when his fingernails dug into the sensitive skin of my neck, “You’re a monster, they’ve turned you into a monster.”

“As they have with you.” I whispered, biting the inside of my cheek to stop myself from crying, to keep myself from surrendering to Seonghwa completely. Seonghwa huffed, looking like he couldn’t believe what I have just said, eyes falling onto my lips as I tilted my head back, hands smoothing against his chest as my fingers ached from griping onto his vest so tightly. And my eyelashes threatened to flutter closed when Seonghwa angled his head just a little lower, his plump lips slotted perfectly against mine if one of us were to just tip our heads even the slightest forward.

But we were monsters to each other, the bogeyman of each other’s stories.

 1943

            I was close to finishing my patrolling duties, the Astronomy Tower my last stop before I could head back to the Slytherin common room and catch up on some much-needed sleep. Our examinations for the end of the year were nearing, more notedly, we only had one more week to catch up on every lesson before we’d be subjected to the long week of finals. It was stressful and I barely had any time for anything besides studying, so, much like others, I was cooped up in the library, scribbling down any necessary information that I might’ve missed during classes. Seonghwa and I only met up when we’d have breakfast, lunch, and dinner in the dining hall—unless one of us decided to skip due to not having studied enough that day. But that was alright, we both valued our studies and grades above all and, besides, we left little messages for each other in hidden places that we knew the other would patrol in the evenings after curfew.

The steps to the Astronomy Tower were steep and made of thick concrete, I pressed my palm against the stone wall for guidance and to feel safer as I was headed up to the tower. I had a slight fear of heights, which wasn’t too handy when I had to fly on a broom, hence why I never even considered playing Quidditch despite finding it cool and entertaining. Hongjoong could’ve probably brewed me a potion that made my fear halt but then again, I don’t know how smart it would have been to trust Hongjoong with even the simplest potions. He loved experimenting, and I had been on the receiving end of his failed brews one too many times. I am sure Madam Gorsemoor, herself, will banish me from this school if I turn up with an aching tummy to her Infirmary one more time.

I was panting by the time I reached the top of the stairs, all I had to do was round the corner and peek around it, then I could bolt back down to the Slytherin dormitories. However, just as I was about to do that, I heard hushed voices echoing around the stone walls. I couldn’t tell exactly what was being said as the voices were low, nonetheless, I did have to interrupt whatever was going on as I was a Prefect—I would even need to deduct house points if these were students and not professors. Squaring my shoulders and straightening my back to look more menacing than I actually was—with hopes of scaring off the students—I power-walked around the corner, only to freeze in the next second. Seonghwa stood leaning against the railing of the terrace, the wind howling loudly without the walls protecting us, and he was speaking to Rabastan Lestrange. My eyebrows furrowed as I noticed another figure sitting down, feet dangling over the ledge as he was leaned back on his hands, gazing up at the bright starry night sky, Hongjoong.

I didn’t understand what was happening, and I gulped as I carefully hid back around the corner, grateful that the three boys hadn’t noticed me. I peeked my head around the stone wall, still, and cast a wandless eavesdropping spell, Seonghwa and Rabastan’s voices suddenly tangible to my ears.

“So, what you’re saying is that your parents got everything ready for us?” Seonghwa’s usually warm voice lacked emotion now, and I could see that his eyebrows were slightly furrowed.

“Yes, all we have to do is give them the go.” Rabastan’s voice was harsh much like his father’s, and my eyebrows furrowed even more as I felt more confused than ever. What was this about and how did Seonghwa know Rabastan? What even was the purpose of this meeting after curfew? Was it worth it for Rabastan and Hongjoong to get caught and have house points reduced?

“But are you certain we’ve got enough people on the inside?” Seonghwa pressed on, sounding stressed, “Out of twenty-five people I have talked to, only ten wanted to join the cause.”

“Is he one of them?” Rabastan scoffed, tilting his head in Hongjoong’s direction as he remained ignorant of the two. I chewed on my bottom lip as Seonghwa glanced back at his best friend then shook his head slightly.

“Don’t worry about him,” Seonghwa muttered and Hongjoong gave him a lopsided smirk and a wink. Rabastan looked disgusted as he averted his eyes, glaring at Seonghwa now.

“If Grindelwald arrives and marches inside the school, we need to have enough students on his side to defend against the other fools, Park.” Rabastan hissed and my eyes widened, a tiny gasp slipping past my lips in shock, “He’s been planning this for way too long for you to mess it up—”

“And I have been planning alongside him just as much, Lestrange.” Seonghwa leered as he got all up in Rabastan’s face, his face contorted in anger. I had never seen Seonghwa look like that, I couldn’t believe this was real, that my Seonghwa was saying such things. What did he mean he’s been planning alongside him—alongside Grindelwald?! Was Seonghwa doing bad things behind my back? There had to be an explanation to all of this, this can only be a sick joke. Before I could react, Hongjoong tipped his head back, looking rather bored until we made eye contact. His eyes widened instantly and his mouth fell open as he struggled to scramble up as I shook my head at him ‘no’, but it was already too late.

“Seonghwa!” He hissed, and I watched as my lover looked over to his best friend with an irked expression on his face until he followed Hongjoong’s line of sight, our eyes meeting. I gasped, my heart racing in my chest as I whirled around and took off running, waving off the spell I had cast. I held onto the railing tightly as I tried to make my way fast down the stairs, struggling not to stumble and accidentally fall as I heard hurried footsteps echo behind me, laboured breaths leaving the person’s mouth. I didn’t dare look back to see who was following after me, but if they weren’t casting jinxes my way it meant that I was somewhat safe. At least as long as they didn’t reach the end of the staircase. The winding stairs seemed to suddenly never end as the wind howled in the distance the closer I got to the bottom, to the wooden door that was ajar as I had left it like that, the key to the door sitting in my pocket.

My lungs heaved for air as I finally reached the last stone step, letting go of the railing as I ran for the wooden door, screaming in fright when I felt a hand wrap around my bicep and yank me back before I could leave. I was whirled around and pushed against the door as I frantically tried to fight off the hands gripping my arms now.

“Y/N, it’s me.” The breathy voice was gentle, “My love, it’s Seonghwa.”

But that wasn’t comforting to hear anymore as my head snapped up, wide eyes staring at Seonghwa’s worried face. I gulped and gripped his forearms, pulling him closer towards me as our chests rose and fell quickly, “Explain.”

Seonghwa’s face blanched, skin paling as he gulped, his grip softening against my biceps, “I—what you heard isn’t—my love, let’s stay level-headed—”

“Is it true?” I snapped, jaw clenching as I couldn’t stand to hear him stutter, “What Lestrange has said, is it true, Seonghwa?!”

“Calm down first—”

“Don’t tell me to calm down!” I screamed and fought his grip off, pushing him away from me. My hands had started trembling as I stared at him with disgust, trying to make sense of everything, “It is true?! Are you on-on Grindelwald’s side?!”

“Y/N,” Seonghwa froze, his expression suddenly faltering as he looked past me, at the wooden door, “Yes—Yes, I am.”

I felt my heart clench as tears flooded my eyes in an instant, and I was gripping Seonghwa’s shirt in a flash, yanking him down to be eye-level with me, “Tell me you’re lying. Look me in the eyes.”

Seonghwa’s jaw clenched and unclenched as he licked his lips, struggling to take a long breath as his eyes fell on my face, searching for something that he didn’t find as suddenly he looked resigned, “It’s not a lie, my love, I have chosen to support Grindelwald’s cause. We’ve been forced to suffer for too long, shunned into hiding while those creatures do as they please, while they live the lives we are supposed to live.”

I shuddered at his words and released him as if he had burned me, hugging my arms around my middle as I bit my bottom lip, a few tears having escaped my eyes, “You were there. At Lucy’s funeral, you were there, Seonghwa. She died because of Grindelwald. Her entire family—eradicated, burned down, because she was an innocent Muggle.”

Seonghwa’s eyes were filled with tears too as I had started crying now, hands shaking even more as I tried to wipe my cheeks dry, but the tears just kept flowing, “I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry?!” I snapped, voice shaking from the betrayal I was feeling, from anger, and from feeling like my heart’s been ripped out, “How could you look me in the eyes every single day, touch me, when you’ve been going behind my back and plotting such atrocious thing, Seonghwa?!”

“I wanted to tell you but you—you—” I took a step back as Seonghwa tried to reach out for me, watching the hurt expression on his face due to my rejection, “I knew you’d react like this; I just couldn’t tell you. You’d—ruin our plans.”

It felt like a punch to the gut hearing the love of my life say those things and I laughed, body shaking in despair and pain that this is the side my lover had chosen. The man I thought I would marry one day, give children to, grow old with. Yet here he stood in front of me, with tears streaming down his face—an abomination, just a mere shell of what he used to be, “Your father is a muggle, Hwa.”

His jaw clenched and he swiftly wiped his tears off his cheeks, taking deep breaths to calm himself down, “And he’s never been good to me.”

I gulped as I closed my eyes and willed my muscles to ease up a bit so that I could move again. I brushed my hair back as I blinked my eyes open, a little blurry from the tears that still threatened to spill out, but I sucked it up and nodded, ignoring my heart that was crying out for my mind to stop, not to say the words that would leave my lips soon, “Goodbye, Mr. Park.”

“What?” Seonghwa’s eyebrows furrowed as I grabbed the door handle behind me and bowed my head respectfully.

“Finish your Prefect duties and go back to your dormitory.” My voice was devoid of any emotion as I yanked the wooden door open behind myself, mind numb and silent for once, “I shall do the same, I won’t report this to Headmaster Dippet just yet.”

“Y/N, what are you—”

“I believe it’s Miss Song to you, Mr. Park.”

Seonghwa’s eyes widened as I stepped outside, hands trembling beyond normal as I had started feeling faint, “Y/N, no. No, you cannot leave me, I don’t—I cannot—please, Y/N, my love, please don’t. I cannot live without you, Y/N—”

The wooden door was loud as it slammed shut in my face, making my knees go weak as I tumbled to the floor, gasping for air as my whole chest felt on fire, tears wetting my cheeks before I could even try to stop them from escaping. The gut-wrenching sob that rippled through the hallway despite the wooden door that separated us made my skin crawl, my heart screaming at me to go back and take back everything I’d said to Seonghwa, but my mind knew what was right. My mind knew there was no further future for us, for Seonghwa.

He had chosen his path, and I have chosen mine.

            Like many knew, my work etiquette was beyond pristine and precise. I valued my missions above anything else, and so, I had wasted no time in reporting back to the Auror’s Office—to Theseus Scamander—about what I had found out at the casino. The attack that Grindelwald’s men—Seonghwa—was tasked to lead to avenge their leader. I could only hope that I was on time, that they hadn’t gotten to the village just yet, but with Seonghwa knowing that I had discovered their plans, it was probable that I was either too late, or they wouldn’t attack anymore. Either way, I was compromised and I needed to move, to go into hiding at one of our safe houses. I had requested to be placed close to Yunho and Mingi, in hopes that I could finally find them and speak to them. I missed them gravely, and slowly I had started feeling crazy without their safe and comforting presence around me.

But my mission wasn’t over yet, due to the weight of Seonghwa’s own mission, now I was tasked with killing him. It was a straight-up order, nothing could change their minds. Even if Seonghwa apologized and begged, they wouldn’t forgive him. In their eyes, he deserved to die—and I knew this. He did deserve to die, but I couldn’t ignore the growing lump in my throat and the coil of my stomach any time I tried to come up with a plan to lure him towards me. I was a trained professional, and I was tasked to kill a man. It would have been like second nature if said main wasn’t Seonghwa. I didn’t know how to proceed just yet, but I knew upon seeing Mingi and Yunho I would find solace in their presence and inspiration in their ideas. But one thing was certain, I would never be able to face Hongjoong again if my mission was successful.

I had woken up early in the morning to pack away my most important belongings, stuffing old polaroids deep into my satchel bag—the same one I had used at Hogwarts. At times when I felt nostalgic and missed the good old times, I would flip through the moving polaroids that had been taken at Hogwarts, many of them of Seonghwa and I, or of Seonghwa, Hongjoong, and I. Despite Yunho and Mingi having entered my life recently—three years ago, more specifically—the pictures of the three of us belonged in the same pile. Those two were like the brothers I never had.

I had taken my time to venture into the Muggle World and buy enough pills to last me three months in case I had to hide for a longer period of time, and I was already tempted to abuse the prescribed amount as I placed the third bottle away in my satchel bag, zipping it closed and placing it down onto the floor, next to my other bags. Now all I had to do was wait for the official that would fetch me and Apparate me to the safe house. Only a select few knew of its location, and I would be granted permission only once we have arrived to it. It didn’t help either that last night I was plagued with nightmares, the lack of sleep and the pills I had taken earlier this morning made me feel drowsy now, making me contemplate if taking a nap right now was smart or not. But I felt too restless to sleep, and thus, I couldn’t stop pacing around my main hallway, chewing away at my bottom lip. I was thinking of ways that I could deal with Seonghwa, desperately trying to find a way out in which he remained alive, when there were three firm knocks at my front door. I released a stressed sigh, grateful that the official was finally here and that I wouldn’t have to think about my issues for a little while.

I hurried over to the door, unlocking it quickly and yanking it open, freezing in surprise. The black cloaked figure was tall, head leaning down and obscured by a hood, making me wonder if the Ministry had changed up their customs and forgot to update me about them. But then, the person raised their head just until I could see their eyes, and I froze. Round eyes were narrowed into a ferocious glare and I gasped as I went to slam the door shut, fear striking my whole body as Seonghwa threw himself against my front door, pushing with all of his force to throw it open. I hissed as I leaned against the door heavily, refusing to give up, but Seonghwa gave it an aggressive push and I was sent tumbling back as I crashed into the round table placed in the middle of the hallway. He pushed the door open with his foot and unclipped his cloak from around his shoulders as he elegantly stepped inside, eyes cautiously glancing around, surveying the place. Perhaps he was looking to make sure I was alone.

I quickly snapped out of my initial shock and pushed off the table, heart beating fast as I ran around the table, going to fetch my wand which was placed atop the fireplace, but suddenly I felt my feet tangle together, sending me face first down onto the floor. I groaned as I narrowly avoided banging my head against the surface and rolled onto my back as I heard footsteps quickly approach. Staring up at Seonghwa wide eyed, his wand pointed at me, I narrowed my eyes and watched as the wand flew out of his hand at my non-verbal spell. His jaw clenched and I quickly jumped up to my feet, eyeing his wand, contemplating whether I should grab his instead as I knew he was never too good at wandless magic. I could only hope that was still true.

But as I lunged towards his wand, which had rolled underneath the table, Seonghwa lunged for me, arms wrapping around me and tackling me onto the table. I gasped as I collided against the surface painfully so, my shoulder digging into the sturdy wood as Seonghwa pressed my cheek with his hand against the surface without mercy.

“You’ve got a nice little cottage for yourself, Miss Song.” He sneered leaning down, “A little too daring for my taste. You didn’t even have wards set up.”

I huffed and grabbed his wrist with my left hand, which wasn’t trapped underneath my body, and yanked his hand off my face, kicking his shin hard with my leg, “I fear no one, Mr. Park. One doesn’t need wards when they live on the edge a Wizarding and Muggle town.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, my love.” I gulped at the once endearing nickname, and trashed around until Seonghwa’s hold loosened, “You made tracking you so easy.”

I chuckled as I finally wrestled my way out from underneath Seonghwa, “Perhaps I wanted to be found, my love, perhaps you just willingly walked into my trap, Hwa.”

Seonghwa froze for a second, face falling as I smirked and jumped up, hand curling around his neck as I threw him into the wall behind him, making him gasp at the sheer force I had used. I had never fought physically against Seonghwa, we had only duelled at Hogwarts. He had no idea what I was capable of in hand-to-hand combat. But I also had no idea how he fought, and I was certainly taken aback when I felt his knee raise into my stomach, making me suck in a sharp breath of air. My hand left his neck as I doubled over, fighting the urge to vomit as Seonghwa looked down at me with a dark look in his eyes. I felt fingers card through my hair and my head was yanked back as I groaned, looking up into his eyes with venom.

“You’re rather unprepared for someone who’s just lured me into their trap.” Seonghwa leered, leaning down, but before he could get too close, I stomped on his foot harshly, making him cry out as he let go of me, pushing me to the side. Regaining my balance, I dashed towards the fireplace to retrieve my wand and I heard hurried movement behind myself as well as we both turned around at the same time, wands held in each other’s direction threateningly. Neither of us moved nor spoke, our eyes boring into each other’s to see who would make the first attack. Based on experience, Seonghwa wouldn’t attack first, he would wait for me to do that, but I suppose times have changed us as I was forced to dodge an attack that almost made my fireplace explode into pieces. My eyes widened at the aggressive nature of Seonghwa’s attack and decided to return the energy. If he wanted to play dirty and use non-verbal magic, I could certainly match his energy.

I sent a Stupefy his way and watched in satisfaction as it took him off guard and sent him flying into the wall, breaking the small shoe rack that I have mounted myself. I smirked at Seonghwa, tilting my head with a challenging glint in my eyes, until I suddenly lost my footing again. It had seemed like he was fond of the spell. Seonghwa looked slightly dazed as I tried to regain my bearings, my head having hit the floor a little hard this time, but the duel must go on, I have gone through far worse things compared to this.

Sharp icy arrows were shot towards me as I scrambled backward, raising an invisible shield with my left hand as I sent blue fireballs towards Seonghwa using wandless magic. His eyebrows furrowed as he raised his own shield last minute, looking taken aback that I could use my magic so sharply while utilizing three methods at once. I knew he couldn’t when his eyes hardened again, giving me time to finally stand up and continue my attack with a spell that had birds materializing and diving for Seonghwa. He yelped and shielded himself, his barrier broken by the bird’s beaks as I shot another Stupefy at him, which he barely avoided as it crashed into the portraits hung onto the wall, sending them crashing to the floor.

I knew his next move before he even did it—I didn’t need to read his mind to know—as I raised another shield, dodging his strong Stupefy as it shattered my spell quite instantly. This duel felt childlike, as if we were testing each other’s patience, wanting to see who would give in first. It almost felt petty, like he was only teasing me because he was so certain that he’d win. I could count on my fingers how often he had beat me in a duel, and I knew for a fact that he still wasn’t better than me. Fed up with our useless fight, I decided to put an end to it as my eyes hardened, Seonghwa’s eyes narrowing upon seeing my expression. But before I could yell out Expelliarmus, I felt my right hand burn, the wand so hot that I had no choice but to drop it as I gasped, the tremors of my hands worsening as I looked back up at Seonghwa. He was smirking, thinking he had won the duel, but I raised my left hand and screamed, “Expelliarmus!”

He didn’t expect me not to give in right away, and so, his wand flew out of his hand as I whirled it against the wall, hearing a crack. My breath halted in my throat as my eyes widened in horror, watching as Seonghwa’s broken wand fell to the floor, his jaw falling open as he flinched. The apology was on the tip of my tongue, but the pure rage that had encompassed Seonghwa’s face made me shiver, and I dashed for the front door, trying to escape before his wrath could reach me. But had I miscalculated our distance, and as I grabbed the handle and tried to open the door, I felt a warm presence behind myself as the door was slammed back shut, my breathing loud in the silent room as my heart had started beating fast.

I was frozen, too afraid to move as I didn’t know what Seonghwa would do now. The man that stood behind me, stopping me from fleeing, was somebody I didn’t know. I could hear Seonghwa trying to level his breaths as his palm remained pressing against the door, his arm brushing against my hair. I tried to calculate my next move, work out what would be the smartest thing to do next, but his proximity made it hard to focus. I had seen him barely two days ago and his touch was still fresh in my mind, haunting my every waking moment, making me crave him like never before.

“Where’s Riddle when you need him, huh?” Seonghwa’s tone was poisonous, laced with hatred as I tensed, eyebrows furrowing.

“I don’t need Riddle,” I hissed, jaw clenching as my grip tightened around the handle, “I can protect myself; I don’t need anyone.”

“One would assume he’d be running here to save you like the lost puppy he was following you around at Hogwarts—”

“Tom has no part in my life!” My voice raised as I grew angrier, whirling around to face Seonghwa. I faltered for a second, finding him too close for comfort as he glared down at me, a dangerous glimmer in his eyes as I gulped, “I only used him to get an invite to the casino because I heard he goes there often—like you.”

Seonghwa’s careful mask cracked for a second as his eyebrows twitched, almost turning into a frown, but he caught himself and smirked instead, leaning down, “You think you can fool me with your pathetic lies?”

“Want me to show you?” I raised an eyebrow challengingly, knowing that it would only make Seonghwa angrier as he detested Legillimency, especially after I have used it on him at the casino.

He scoffed, leaning down closer to my face, “I should’ve killed you on the spot two nights ago—”

“Yet you didn’t,” I breathed out with a scoff, “like I haven’t told anyone about you and Lestrange’s stupid plan of bringing Grindelwald inside Hogwarts.”

“It wasn’t stupid—”

“You failed.”

“Because Riddle caused a scene, as always.” Seonghwa hissed, and I jumped when his fist made contact with the door above my head, making me melt back into the sturdy door, heart racing all over again, “I would’ve killed him a long time ago if Grindelwald hadn’t seen potential in him.”

Dread washed over me as I felt my stomach drop, “What are you talking about?”

“Don’t worry,” Seonghwa leered, tilting his head to the side as his glare made me feel sick to my stomach. He’s never looked at me like that, with so much venom and hatred, “your little lover refused his offer and Grindelwald decided to let him live for a little longer.”

“He’s not my lover.” I snapped, chest rising and falling quickly once again as I started getting angry. When would he understand that I could never look at Tom the way he thinks I did, “I have never harboured any romantic feelings towards Tom—I don’t even understand how my personal life is any of your business. You don’t see me talking ill of Rhaena or questioning her motives with you, Seonghwa.”

He paused as he gulped loudly, his hand slipping lower on the door until it was right next to my head, his wrist brushing against my cheekbone, “Rhaena is someone I work with, it’s all professional.”

“I do not care, Seonghwa.”

“You don’t, right.”

I gulped as suddenly an uncertain look crossed Seonghwa’s features, his eyes momentarily softening as I felt my whole body tingle as he stepped closer, his clothes brushing against mine. I felt my mouth go dry as my eyes roamed his face, palms turning into fists as I felt the sudden urge to reach out to him and touch him. Seonghwa placed his other hand against the door too, caging me in between himself and the sturdy surface. His eyebrows furrowed as his dark eyes bore into mine, bangs slightly obscuring his beautiful eyes as he exhaled slowly, closing the distance between our bodies. I shuddered and tilted my head back as he straightened up, my eyes landing on his plush lips as he parted them, tongue poking out to lick his dry lips. My whole body was buzzing as my eyebrows furrowed, my heart and mind fighting a never-ending battle as I couldn’t contain myself anymore and reached up, fingers reluctantly touching his cheek.

I wasn’t certain if he’d let me as his eyebrows furrowed even more, obvious that he was also struggling to make up his mind. But at last, I decided to be brave and cupped his warm cheek, my hand trembling against his soft skin. Seonghwa gasped quietly as his eyes widened, searching my gaze before his eyes fluttered shut, bringing tears into my eyes. I so desperately wanted to be engulfed by his familiar embrace, the warmth of his safe hug, the feeling of belonging, something I haven’t felt ever since we parted ways. Then, just slightly, as my fingers have started tracing his cheekbone, he turned his head and pressed a firm kiss against my wrist, alighting a vicious fire in my body.

“Seonghwa.” I had barely finished whispering his name when my lips were muffled by his, the familiarity of them making me moan as I threw my arms around his shoulders, clinging to him with desperation. Seonghwa inhaled loudly as he gripped my hips and flushed our bodies together to the point you couldn’t tell where he started and where I ended, and I pushed up on my tiptoes to better kiss him. His pace was sloppy and desperate as I returned the aggressivity of his own lips, fingers tangling in his dark and long locks, pulling on the strands and making him groan in the back of his throat. He leaned down and I felt his hands travel to my thighs, and I jumped before he could signal for me to, legs wrapping around his hips firmly as he pressed me back up against the sturdy door, moaning against my mouth when I finally parted my lips for his tongue to explore. He tasted like the old Seonghwa, he smelled like the old Seonghwa, he even felt like the old Seonghwa.

His body had gotten sturdier, stronger, and yet despite the desperate way he clung to me, fingers pressing into my cheeks or grabbing at my neck, he remained mindful of hurting me, of being gentle even in our desperation to feel each other, to love each other. His tongue lapped at mine eagerly, sucking my bottom lip between his teeth when he pulled back for a scarce breather, making me chase after his lips again as I couldn’t let go of him just yet. Our lips were swollen and covered in our mixed saliva, but I couldn’t care less as finally my thoughts were silent, my body and mind only focusing on Seonghwa. He gripped the back of my thighs and I made sure to hold onto him tighter as he pulled me off the door and started walking aimlessly around my cottage, having to pull away from my lips just slightly so that I could give him directions towards my bedroom.

Our clothes were quick to come off, even before we made it to the bedroom, and I found his once flawless skin now littered with scars, bringing tears to my eyes as he shuddered when I gently traced them with my fingertips. My body wasn’t perfect either, but it definitely harboured less scars than his, and it made me wonder just how many times he’s been in harms way with no guarantee that he’ll make it out alive. Before I could cry, Seonghwa’s lips were pressing against my cheeks, my forehead, my eyes, my nose, my jaw and chin, at last finding my lips as I was guided backwards onto the bed, pressing me down gently as he wasted no time getting on top of me. Despite the passing of time and being away from each other for four years, our bodies seemed to still know the other, our minds remembering every little thing that made the other tick, and it felt natural as we were guided by pure lust and desire for each other.

I had tried to remain composed and focused on Seonghwa, to give back just as much as I was receiving, but when he had settled between my legs, lips pressing feather-like kisses against my thighs until he drove me crazy and had me begging for more, I was a gone woman only able to focus on the immense pleasure his long tongue and plush lips brought, his fingers helping out when it wasn’t enough anymore. When my fingers yanked on his hair so hard that it made him whine, tongue lapping at my juices even faster, making me writ around until he held me down by the hips, Seonghwa knew I was close to unravelling, to coming undone on nothing but his tongue and fingers. But he pulled back, he always did, because he wanted to fill me up, to make me scream his name while I came undone on his dick. His lips kissed all the way up to my lips as I whispered his name over and over again, scratching down his back with my long nails, legs hooking around his hips as he wouldn’t lay on me just yet, tongue tangling with mine and making me taste myself as I reached down between us, grabbing his twitching member.

Seonghwa froze, moaning against my mouth as his eyebrows furrowed, rutting against my palm as I jerked my hand faster, until he was begging me to stop because he didn’t want to finish like this. And I did, I cradled his face in my hands as our eyes bore into each other’s, his dick finally lined up with my entrance as he slowly pushed inside, holding himself up by the forearms. It was painful, it was bittersweet, and it was the most pleasure I have felt in years, all in the arms of the man I had once loved—I still loved. My mouth had fallen open as I hissed in pain, eyebrows furrowing and eyes falling shut as Seonghwa kissed my wrists, whispering reassuring words, understanding that I haven’t done this since we went our separate ways.

But I didn’t need much to get accustomed to the once familiar feel of his dick splitting me open, stretching me out and making me feel filled to the brim, the only thought on my mind being him, Seonghwa. And I tried to swallow the noises that wanted to tear through my throat, but the harder Seonghwa slammed back in, the faster his hips thrust, I could only moan and whine, call out his name repeatedly as he fondled my breasts and made my back arch, hitting my sensitive spot over and over again. I grabbed onto his arms for leverage as he sat back on his heels, holding my hips up tightly as he pulled me down on each thrust to meet him halfway, making me curse out loudly as my stomach had started coiling, the pleasure building up until I couldn’t bear with it anymore.

“Seonghwa.” His name was nothing but a broken whisper as I bit my bottom lip, opening my arms, knowing that he’d understand my request. And he did, because he pressed himself completely against me, my arms going underneath his to hug him tightly as my fingernails pressed into his shoulder blades once again, painfully so, making Seonghwa hiss in pain and pleasure at the same time. He buried his head in my neck as he was panting, hips jerking messily as he was nearing his own undoing, much like I was. Our bodies were covered in a thin layer of sweat, chasing our own orgasms as Seonghwa’s right hand lowered between our bodies and started quickly rubbing my bundle of nerves, making me throw my head back and come undone in just a few seconds. His name left my lips like a mantra as I felt tears spring into my eyes from the overwhelming pleasure, body trembling as he stilled, and then I felt hot liquid spill inside me as he lazily continued to move his hips, making my body ache as it all felt too much.

“My love.” His lips brushed against my ear with one final thrust and then he stilled, body going lax as I was panting hard, trying to swallow but my throat felt parched. Seonghwa muttered something against the skin of my neck but I didn’t understand, and I turned my head to press kisses against his hair, his shoulder blade, and ultimately his lips when he raised his head. I instantly felt cold and like I was missing something as he rolled over and pulled out, his chest rising and falling just as frantically as mine. My heart was beating so fast that it felt like a vein would pop in my forehead and I felt Seonghwa’s fingers intertwine with mine. I gulped and looked over, finding nothing but a pained expression on his face and eyes that were overflowing with tears. I couldn’t hold it back in anymore, and let mine fall free as Seonghwa sniffed loudly, his beautiful black hair strewn across my pillow, the cloudy weather casting my bedroom in a dim light.

“I love you, Y/N,” Seonghwa’s voice was raspy and it trembled as he pressed a long-lasting kiss against my knuckles, “I love you so much, my love.”

I bit my bottom lip to fight the sob that threatened to rip through my throat and nodded, bringing our hands up to my cheek to nuzzle it against Seonghwa’s skin, “I love you too, Hwa, always have. Always will.”

But we weren’t meant to be since we were on opposing sides. And we both knew that as our tears stopped flowing, our fingers going numb from how tightly we held onto each other. Seonghwa sighed then released my hand reluctantly, making me bite back a whine as he sat up, running his fingers through his hair. Before he could get off my bed, I sat up hurriedly and threw my arms around him, letting out a long exhale as he returned the embrace, cradling my head against his naked chest. I wanted to grow old with him, I wanted to have children that would gift us grandchildren, I wanted us to never be separated again. And maybe Seonghwa wanted that too because his whole body trembled as we somehow found the strength to separate from each other, eyes yearning for something we’d never have.

I watched as he rolled over, then sat on the edge of my bed as I pulled my knees up to my chest, hugging my bare legs, looking for even the smallest comfort now that I knew I would let him leave, just this once. This was our final goodbye, the closure we never got. Once Seonghwa was out of my cottage, we’d play our parts, we’d be the enemies everyone thought we were. I was ready, and perhaps he was ready to. An easy smile settled on my lips as I watched Seonghwa lean down and fetch something, his back muscles tensing as he glanced back over his shoulder. My eyebrows furrowed upon the solemn look on his face and I went rigid as he turned his torso around, my own wand pointed at me. His voice was resigned, a whisper, pained.

“Obliviate.”

1944

            The train came to a screeching halt as we neared the next village, sending me back in my seat as I stared out the window, feeling bored as I knew nobody who shared the compartment with me. But that’s how it is when you don’t have friends of your own. It was alright, I had always done just fine on my own. As the train stopped and the doors opened, I watched the students who lived in this village get off, pulling their heavy luggage after themselves, greeted by their families who couldn’t wait for them to return home for the summer holiday. My chin was resting in my palm as I pursed my lips, finding it hard to enjoy my last train ride back home, never to return to Hogwarts. There was an ache in my chest that grew the longer I stared out the window, the longer I stared at the messy black-haired boy that had stopped close to the edge of the platform, gazing inside the train, dark and soft eyes landing on me unmistakably.

I gulped, feeling my heartbeat pick up the longer our gazes remained connected, confused by the ache in my chest that only got worse the longer we looked at each other. My eyebrows furrowed as I felt this sudden urge to reach out to him, to get off the train and run into his arms, to breathe in his familiar scent and feel his plush lips press against my skin, and his low voice whisper reassuring words into my ears. I didn’t know why I felt like that, I couldn’t explain the yearning of my own body as the boy’s once familiar face became hazy, unclear. No matter how hard I tried to look, I couldn’t see his features clearly. I couldn’t remember his name.

He became a murky memory in the back of my mind as the train whistled, signalling its departure, and as we took off, I felt the lurch of my heart and the coil of my stomach worsen as I jumped up from my seat, pulling the window open and scaring those sitting in the compartment with me. I looked out the window, head leaning outside as my eyebrows furrowed, the name of the boy on the tip of my tongue as I desperately tried to cry out his name—but I didn’t know what it was. I didn’t know who he was. The alarmed cries of the people who rode with me snapped me out of my unexplainable actions, and I settled back into my seat feeling confused and embarrassed as I apologized.

I couldn’t tell anymore why my heart ached like I had loved someone with my whole being, with my soul, like I had sworn to remain by their side forever and even beyond. It confused me as to why I wanted to sob and scream after a boy that once was my guiding light in the darkness, my star. A face once familiar now became just the whisper of a distant memory that I couldn’t put my finger on, a nostalgic ache of a love that felt real, yet intangible.

The stars couldn’t shine bright without their darkness.

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[voidhope]

The Other Woman

—

Synopsis: Where Miguel leaves Y/N to go back to a different version of his old wife found in another universe.

Pair: Miguel O’Hara x Spider!Reader

Tags: ANGST!!, long term established relationship, heartbreak, marriage, cheating, mental health, cold/distant Miguel

—

A/N: Hi! I don’t really write at all!!

I have been a silent reader on tumblr for years but this idea has been playing in my mind so much I had the urge to write it. I have been down so bad for Miguel been on his tag like 24/7 indulging in all the content creators have been putting out. So I’m excited to join in giving content, however keep in mind I kinda suck! Apologies for any mistakes, anything confusing, or it not being well written enough. Honestly could have made this into multiple parts with better details but nah. Tried my best ^^ since it’s my first time, any feedback is greatly appreciated!

Honestly tbh we all don’t have a solid grasp how the whole canon thing and multi universe works yet so!! A lot of what is written is made up to suit my storyline so please don’t get mad about the inaccuracies.

I love a good angst and today’s story will be EXTRAAA angsty!!! As well kinda long!!

—————————————————

The moment that changed your life was while working on an experiment during your college finals. You were a proud and gifted physics major that was so passionate about discovering and exploring what the world didn’t know.

You had snuck into Alchemax late at night. You wanted to show your professors just how much you could do with the right tools. Next thing you know, playing with their machines, you had spawned a spider right in-front of you. The glowing vibrant red spider had sunk its jaw into your hand.

Your life did a complete turn and you spent the rest of that week freaking out while changes to your body were happening. Causing you to fail your semester after missing exams. Things felt like it could only get worse when a massive blue suited masked man showed up out of nowhere in your dorm interrogating you.

“Where’s the spider?” He had a strong grip on your shoulders. You couldn’t focus while trying to process why this man had what seemed like claws sticking out of the ends of his fingers.

“I don’t know, it like died after it bit me!” You exclaimed nervously at the freakishly strong man. Trying to reach for anything behind you to use as a defense weapon.

“Dios mío no me digas eso…” He groaned loudly letting you go. Having the opportunity to grab something, you threw a sanrio plushie at him. Only causing him to wave his arms in annoyance. “That spider is from my earth and somehow you brought it here. Now you’re a spider-man.”

And the rest is history…

—

You learned that the man was Miguel O’Hara and when he found you he was just starting his missions with the multiverse. You being the few of the firsts to join his team.

Your situation was quite bizarre and he called you an anomaly for a long time, spending hours studying you and also training you. You ended up being the one case that can’t be explained no matter how much effort was put into monitoring you.

Almost like it was meant to be. Your universe remained perfect with its current spider-man doing fine. No big collapse of a black hole or anything. When you got bit by a spider from Earth-928 your DNA merged with that universe making you fit in perfectly. You were one of the only spider-people with an uncertain timeline with new canons being created depending on what universe you were in.

What changed from you being just a piece of research for Miguel is when he then realized that maybe you were a gift from the multiverse. After all the grief and pain he’d went through the universe had given him this person that worked out perfectly no matter how hard he tried to push them away. You fell head over heels for him and vice versa, all while canon events were being created with both of you together.

You were there as his team grew, slowly turning into a family. Then both of you getting married finalizing that this was your home. Everything felt perfect. Although a relationship with Miguel could have its up and down days, nothing could ever tear you both apart. Or so you assumed.

—

“I’m sorry Y/N.” Miguel couldn’t look at you.

“When did this start? Please be honest with me. Did I do something wrong?” You begged at him. You knew he was acting off recently but never did you think it would result to this.

You watched as he exhaled deeply staring at the ground. You felt like you couldn’t breathe as you studied his face trying to grasp onto any emotion he was showing. The atmosphere in his office felt so cold. You so badly wanted to catch his gaze and find the warmth and love his red irises used to give you. He was doing everything to push you away. He was abandoning you.

“You did nothing wrong. I met her during a mission 4 months ago.” Was all he replied.

“Who is she?” Your heart kept breaking. His face hardening as the question slipped through your lips. You knew Miguel wouldn’t leave you for just anyone. Deep in your heart you knew what this was about. He never responded but he didn’t need to when you saw his eyes flicker over to his monitor screens. You followed his trace and saw the photo of Gabriella in the corner.

“Does she have another version of your daughter?” You tried again. This is what made him look directly at you. Miguel kept opening and closing his month unsure how to tell you the truth. You weren’t stupid and he knew that. After everything he couldn’t just walk out on you with a lie.

“No.” He paused thinking of how to finally share the truth without it ruining you. There was no way out of this. “She is a younger version of herself. There is no Miguel in her universe and she’s not important to the timeline. She lives a regular life. I-it’s a chance for me to start at the very beginning.”

You felt your heart being ripped out of your chest. You processed the words carefully. She doesn’t have a child yet… Not only was he leaving you for her but he was going to fall in love with her all over again and start a family with her. A family you wanted so badly to have with him.

“What about with what happened last time you tried to live a life in a different universe?” You didn’t understand how this was happening.

He was always so carful he would never do anything to cause that again. Everything you had witness Miguel work so hard for to keep safe for years. Sleepless nights, returning bruised and beaten, frustrations and constant stress. Was it all for nothing? Is he throwing all his work away?

“This is different.” He turned away from you. “I pushed myself then into an already established life. This time I am creating that life. After all the research we did on you…” He knew that this was going to tear you apart. “I learned that if done right I could have a child from two different universes that won’t disrupt anything.”

It clicked to you then that all the research he was doing on you lately was for this. The research he did on you that time was different, personal, intimate even. As he was testing your DNAs together and seeing the outcomes. He mentioned a child and you were foolish enough to assume he was doing research to see what it would be like if you both had one together. You were giddy even as you watched him work. You had both spoken about having a family together in the past but had been too busy with spider activities. You thought it was a sign of him getting more serious about it, knowing how badly he wanted one. You would have never thought he was doing it to see how he could get back his previous child. The one you could never give him.

You had truly believe that Miguel had recovered from his obsession that his grief gave him. He accidentally destroyed a whole universe needing that life back so badly. You had spent late nights watching him re-watch clips over and over of what he had lost. It slowly stopped once your relationship blossomed with him and you thought he was ready to move on and start new. Why would you have never thought that with such a perfect opportunity presented to him that he wouldn’t drop everything for it.

“I think it’s best that you leave.” He spoke with a soft tone. As if not looking at you any longer will make the problem go away. You couldn’t wrap your mind around how he was just throwing you away like this. As if he wasn’t making you dinner, giving soft kisses, whispering I-love-you’s not so long ago.

You felt too choked up to ask anymore questions. Your throat tight and painful as you held back tears from escaping in-front of Miguel. You just nodded and headed straight out the door not being able to handle another second in that room. Your knees and hands were shaky as you speed walked into the nearest bathroom and let it all out.

—

It didn’t take long for everyone else to know something had happened. Everyone had gotten used to seeing you and him sitting together at lunch. You would make him cute lunch boxes and everyone would gag a bit while watching the two of you smile together. Some cringing seeing their scary boss being so soft around you. It was a big surprise when Miguel started to eat alone with a bag of take out food and you no where to be seen.

His teams he sent out for missions were all confused when you weren’t assigned to anything. Knowing you were one of the best, one of them slipped out a “Call for Y/N!” In the middle of fighting an anomaly too strong for them. Miguel only looked away.

It wasn’t until a new woman showed up in Miguel’s office with a grip around his waist. That’s when the spider-community realized that this was way worse than they thought.

—

You on the other hand had spilled everything to Hobie when he caught you that day leaving the bathroom with puffy eyes. You had been staying with him in his universe until you could gather yourself together to return to HQ. You knew you were going to leave for good, but you needed to go back to retrieve all your things. You couldn’t stay with Hobie forever. Worse that you weren’t from there.

You still had some hope that Miguel would come looking for you and tell you that he was all wrong. However almost two months had passed and not a word from him… That’s when you knew it was time you should return to what you once knew.

Stepping into the portal Hobie followed close behind you. He told the few others who were once close to both you and Miguel that you would be visiting. Stepping through the portal you were immediately greeted by Jessica and Peter B Parker.

“Oh, Y/N.” Jess sighed your name sadly while pulling you into a hug. You felt like you wanted to cry all over again. Missing your friends so much. Peter B came behind giving you a hug on the side.

“He’s on a mission right now.” Peter spoke up. “It might be a long one too but don’t waste anytime just incase.”

You nodded pulling away from them. Looking up around the headquarters building faintly smiling at the past memories you had here. You started heading to different areas gathering all the little things you had left around. Hobie had stitched for you a cute backpack with different scraps of patterned clothes and covered in patches of punk band logos but made with hammer space technology. Making it fun for you to fill endless of your things in the bag.

The last stop was in Miguel’s office. Doubt started to fill your mind; maybe he already threw out all of your stuff. Why would he even keep it after all of this? What no one could warn you of was the other person sitting on his platform.

“Hello!” She chirped at you. It felt like the air in your lungs had just been punched out. You knew her too well. From all the photos and videos you had seen peaking over Miguel’s shoulder. However seeing her in person was something you had never expected. You knew it wasn’t the original her but it was a copy paste image for sure.

“Hi.” Was all you managed to choke out. She was beautiful, stunning. You could see clearly now the similar features she shared in another universe with her daughter. The parts that Miguel didn’t have. She kept smiling kindly at you, almost in a graceful way. You started to feel all your insecurities start eating you up from the inside. How could you have ever compared to her.

“What’s your name? I don’t think I’ve seen you here before.” Getting off Miguel’s platform she walked closer to you. The room started to feel suffocating.

“Y/N.”

“Well, it’s nice to meet you! It’s nice to meet other girls around here.”

Your eyebrows furrowed as you realized she had no reaction to your name. So Miguel never told her about you… Or that the fact was he was still even legally married to you.

“My boyfriend isn’t here right now but, if you want, I can tell him you stopped by.” She continued as you stayed silent.

“Oh, no it’s okay. I just came in here to get some stuff.” You rushed as you really wanted nothing to do with Miguel at all. You almost worried that he might even get angry knowing you got to speak with her. If he already dislikes you this much you couldn’t even imagine how he would feel if you got in the way of this for him.

You started heading over to the familiar drawers around the room. Grabbing your old hoodies and shirts finding your most comfortable of things here. You treated this place as one of your safe spaces as you used to spend so much time here.

“Oh I didn’t know these were all yours! I was wondering why this was all around. When I came here I wanted to do some spring cleaning but Miguel wouldn’t let me touch anything.” She followed besides you. “It’s so mind blowing seeing all this technology. We don’t have any of this where I live-“ She continue rambling but you started to zone her out. You felt like you were about to have a panic attack any minute. There was one question that kept burning in your mind.

“Are you and Miguel already planning to have a child?” You blurted out. Your eyes widened a bit as you surprised yourself. She let out a loud laugh.

“Oh dear no! We have only been together about 6 months. You must be new around here so you must not know much about us.” She chuckled.

In some cruel way you were hoping she would have said yes. You had that twisted hope of maybe Miguel just keeping her to have a kid and ditching her after he gets Gabriella and run back to you. In reality he was playing the long game, he really meant it when we said he was starting over. “He’s never mentioned kids anyways. I’m not even sure if he’d like them or do well with them.”

With that statement she made you looked at her appalled. Anyone could see in Miguel how good of a father he could be. Just in the way he takes care of the society he built here. You started to realize that she really has been left in the dark. She doesn’t know anything. She probably doesn’t even know that she’s a replacement of another self. You wondered why Miguel was doing this. It felt like he didn’t just toy with you but with her as well. A man you came to love for how selfless he was, to realize now everything was for his own personal gain. Suddenly you started to feel bad for her. You couldn’t dislike her, she wasn’t doing anything wrong and she doesn’t even know.

“I got all my stuff. Nice to meet you.” Was all you could say as you zipped up your bag and turned straight around out of there. Not giving any glance back at her, you left to one of the empty training rooms to recollect your overwhelming thoughts. All of the self healing you tried the past month thrown in the garbage.

It wouldn’t be too soon that news of you going around the building was returned to Lyla. You had cut out all coms while you were gone so she immediately popped up on your watch when she found out.

“AH-“ You jumped as the tiny AI was suddenly in front of your face.

“It’s so wonderful to see you Y/N. Oh my god!”She started. Then she went on rambling about how she knew everything and had seen everything. How she didn’t agree with what was happening and was doing everything she could to convince you to stay. After 5 minutes of her rambling you stopped her to let your emotions out.

“Lyla, Lyla It’s okay. Just stop. It’s all complicated I know, but this didn’t work out. I wished Miguel just cheated on me like all the other fucked up normal men out there. That I walked in on him deep in another random girl. Though painful I could have tried fixing and fighting for us. But instead what I got was him emotionally cheating on me and chase after something he knows I can never give him.” You felt yourself choke up. “I can never ask him to give up what he longs and dreams for just for me to be happy. I lost this battle the moment he laid eyes on her.”

Finding comfort in the AI your husband made. You’ve created a bond with Lyla that Miguel found cute but you knew now this might be the last time you’ll be speaking with her.

“You can give him a family y/n… you guys have been married two years now. I know you’ve both set the thought aside until the multiverse issues are better but you can fight for him. You have to snap him out of his fantasy. He still thinks about you.”

“Lyla you know deep down truly he never just wanted a family. He wanted exactly what he had. What he lost. Which should be impossible but being by his side seeing how insane the multiverse is… Good for him for believing in something so hard he’s found himself even a third chance to do it.”

“I hate that you’re being too kind about this situation.” Lyla paced around you.

“I love him so deeply Lyla. You know that very well. It’s so hard to suddenly hate him. I am angry, but I’m also emotionally drained I can’t do this.” You let out a deep sigh. “I’ve watched him long for this family when we just met. For some stupid reason when things worked out for us I thought I would be enough… When we got engaged and he would spend some days at home with me not even coming to HQ. I thought he was finally moving on not just from his grief and past but from the weight of his work. I saw a bright future for us.”

“You can still have a bright future with him! You moving here gave him a new canon event, another chance at life in his timeline. Here in his own universe! He’s just too obsessed and he’s lost himself in that.” She exclaimed with her hands up.

“Our canon event was our wedding.” Your frowned deepened. “But the universe didn’t say anything else after. It doesn’t say our canon event means we are suppose to live happily together forever I guess.”

“I’m just trying my best to be optimistic. I rooted so hard for you and Miguel when you joined the team. I know you can remember the amount of times I would force you both in rooms.” Lyla recalled.

“And I’m grateful for it… Even if this didn’t work out. I was given precious memories, not just working with you and being on this team but falling in love with Miguel. I know I’m being all depressed and hopeless but I feel like even if I move on I’ll never be able to replace him and find a relationship like this again. However he threw me away so easily and maybe he never valued me as much as I did to him.” You felt your emotions bubble. “I became who I am here. I’m going to miss everyone so much.”

“You can still stay here and work with us.” She edged on.

“I can’t just sit around here begging at his feet to return to me or moping around doing missions while watching him with someone else. I want to hate him so badly. I know he’s your boss and you’re basically hardwired to do everything for him and you’re trying your hardest to fix what you think is his right path. But think of me a little more and how miserable it’ll be. I’m the only one hurting here.”

Lyla paused and stared at you with an almost glossy-eyed look. While she worked she could see the inner term-oil Miguel was hiding and the emptiness he was turning to since trying to start new in the other universe. It just wasn’t her place to hold this conversation and he was the one who needed to get a grip of himself and really think and talk with you. She can’t be the one trying to mend the pieces for both of you together. What Miguel did was so wrong. She knew you were right and she didn’t want to see any more damage be caused to you.

“You’re right. I’m sorry.” She looked up at you sincerely. “I hate this outcome for you. Not only are you loosing your husband but your home. When was the last time you’ve even been in your universe?”

“Like a year ago for a mission…”

“Exactly! Even if things are over with Miguel, you have all of us here! I wish you could stay. I understand you leaving, I really do. I know a lot of us will try visiting you but I’m tied to Miguel…” You started to see how it clicked for her too that it’s most likely you might not see each other for a long time. “Even if a spider-person is visiting you I can’t just show up on their watch… It’ll go back to him and I know you wouldn’t want that. I know I’m an AI and I can’t hold real emotions but I mean it when I say I’m going to miss you.”

Tears poured down your cheeks as her words hit you. Going back to your universe is going to be a struggle. You have nothing there now. However nothing can compare to the pain of the outcome you’ve had with Miguel, and you needed out of here ASAP. Your mental health getting worse the longer you stay. Even the other spiders you have come to love can’t bring that spark back right now. You needed genuine time for yourself, even if it’s self destructive, instead of putting on a fake smile everyday here.

“Bye, Lyla.” You whispered. She nodded and waved her hand goodbye at you before disappearing. You took your watch off your wrist placing it on a nearby desk. With it you pulled the divorce paperwork out of your pocket neatly sealed and already signed on your half. Opening a portal you took your last glances at the place you spent so many loving memories in.

Tears blurred your vision as you stepped through the portal. Once your legs landed on a rooftop of a building in your dimension, you racked out full sobs falling to your knees.

You were always just the other woman.

—————————————————

Thank you so much for reading!! I know it was a longer one ~

would anyone like a part 2? If so anyone want a angsty or happy ending? I think it’ll be more in Miguel’s perspective as well!

EDIT: You can now read PART 2 here

[vanteguccir]

── ୨୧ !　𝗔𝗧𝗘𝗟𝗢𝗣𝗛𝗢𝗕𝗜𝗔

　　　　　　　　𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒕 𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒐𝒍𝒐 x reader

SUMMARY: Where Y/N has suffered with an eating disorder for years, but lately, - because of the some "fans" and social media - her insecurities have been taking her to a more than dangerous path, which she couldn't get out without help.

WARNING: anorex!a, eating disorder, comparison, self sabotage, self hatred, panic attack, pure angst... PLEASE read with caution!

REQUESTED?: No.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.

　　　༻✦༺ 　༻✧༺　༻✦༺

Atelophobia; the fear of not being good enough.

This was one of the millions of fears and problems that haunted Y/N's mind. Her head convinced her a long time ago that she simply wasn't enough; for her school teachers, for her classmates, for her friends, for her parents, past boyfriends... not even for herself.

This led her to listen to what others said and thought about herself since she was very young, the desire to be perfect and within society's standards in all aspects of a human being consumed her; personality, thoughts, knowledge... body.

She was told all the time how she should behave, act, and be. She was just a child, but that didn't seem to matter to those who did it, clogging her up with responsibilities and comparisons.

One thing led to another. Her desperation to be the best at everything started to include her own body. "Fat" was the first word people used to describe her. She had no control over the situations around her, but she had control over her weight.

Y/N was always the biggest girl in her class, and her classmates seemed to love reminding her of that; often being excluded from work groups, forgotten in groups of friends, or not chosen in any team during Physical Education classes.

Until the year when everything changed. During the school vacation, she decided to change, intending to return to school as a new girl. The new cycle started well, Y/N saw a nutritionist, cutting out all fatty foods from her routine and consuming only healthy ones. She started going to the gym daily, doing the recommended training time. All of this led her to lose a significant amount of weight.

Soon, the vacation was over, and with that, the negative comments from her classmates were replaced by positive comments. Girls asking what she had done to lose weight like that, searching for advice and seeing her as a miracle. Boys saying how changed and prettier she looked.

How could she not fall in love with her own illness?

So, that made her feel good. Too good... her mind began to yearn to become thinner, more beautiful, just to hear more from others. And then the healthy diet and the one hour training at the gym were no longer enough for her. She needed more if she wanted to be better.

Y/N then intensified her training, staying at the gym for 2 hours per day, doing more reps with more weight. She crossed out several foods from the list of permitted that her nutritionist had made, choosing for herself the ones she thought were ideal, until it had almost nothing left.

Her brain self-sabotaged so that she wouldn't go out with her friends, because they would definitely want to eat somewhere and she wouldn't be able to.

She no longer participated in family dinners, creating excuses so as not to be forced to sit at the table and eat.

Her mind convinced her that she wasn't thin enough to satisfy her boyfriends' sexual and non-sexual desires, which made her pull away during or at the beginning of any relationship she had until the guy got tired, or she simply ended it.

She spent hours on the internet, searching for sensational diets that reduced daily calories to 500 or less, promising extraordinary weight loss. In addition to getting on the scale at least 4 times a day, hoping for a miracle every time she looked at the numbers.

Y/N replaced her eating schedules with random hobbies like drawing, learning a new instrument, or picking flowers from her garden to make flower crowns, occupying her time and mind.

Some things scared her, her period hadn't come in months, clumps of hair fell out every time she ran her hands through it. Her vision went dark at least 3 times a day. Her body shivered from the complete cold of her insides, and her stomach hurt more than usual.

But she had to suffer them alone since she had no one to talk to about, always alone.

Until Y/N met Matt.

Matt was the boy who made her want to get better. He encouraged her to look for a hospital that fit her preferences, where Y/N finally began to receive psychiatric and psychological care.

Her diet changed for the better, into foods that Y/N saw as safe. She did not abandon the gym but reduced the weight and time, maintaining her training just for the health of her muscles, as she had lost a lot of lean mass during her worst moment.

The calculator in her head finally stopped. Her eyes started seeing food as just food and not as the enemy. Her stomach craved for all the snacks she loved, and she finally ate them, without feeling guilty.

Matt was so thoughtful about her entire situation, having suffered himself with extreme anxiety from a young age. He could tell he understood in parts what it was like to live with a mental illness.

So he helped her maintain her healthy diet and eat all her daily meals within her limit - often opting to eat together in their room, since he knew the trepidation Y/N still felt about doing it in front of other people.

Matt praised her in every possible situation, trying not to be extreme but to show his intense love and support for the girl. All of that was helping her a lot.

Until it wasn't.

Y/N and Matt never hid their relationship from the public, the girl knew how famous her boyfriend was and how difficult it could be to keep their relationship hidden, they would be seen together at one time or another.

So it wasn't surprising that the girl appeared in some of the triplets' pictures sometimes, and that's what happened that Friday.

As usual, Nick posted a photo dump on the triplets Instagram to promote the publication of their new car video, and one of the photos was of Matt and Y/N, specifically one in which the two were sitting on the couch in their living room, the girl had her legs draped over Matt's thighs, while his tattooed arm wrapped tightly around her waist, huge smiles decorating their faces.

It was a cute photo, but apparently, that wasn't what fans thought.

While Matt and his brothers were in the kitchen, preparing healthy snacks - a habit they built through the girl, but which in the end helped everyone -, Y/N was lying on her bed in the room she shared with Matt, wrapped in too-warm covers, holding her phone with her right hand while her left hand wrapped around her stomach in an almost painful grip.

Her thumb scrolled through the comments screen beneath the post. Almost everyone there talking about her picture with Matt.

"Matt can do so much better than her"

"I really don't know what he saw in her"

"She's going to end up crushing him like that"

"I'll pay for the gym for her if that's the price for Matt to have a worthy girlfriend"

And so on, it was as if they knew all of Y/N's weaknesses.

Some fans of them could be cruel when they wanted to, and Y/N knew this by heart since seeing Nick crying several times because he was body shamed, or when she noticed Chris being quieter than usual after reading comments saying how loud he was and how that was unbearable.

Her heart was crushed every time she saw Matt suffer in silence until he couldn't hold it in any longer and finally cried in her lap for hours after reading people saying how insignificant and quiet he was in the videos.

Even though a huge mass of the fandom loved them with all their hearts and took care of them as much as the distance of a phone screen allowed, it still wasn't enough to swallow the hate comments.

But when it came to Y/N, more than half of the fandom turned against her. Maybe out of envy, but it was obvious that the girl didn't see it that way. She was convinced that they were right.

Her heart tightened as if someone was crushing it with their bare hands. The air seemed to escape her lungs, and the lunch she ate hours before seemed to want to go up her throat. Her fingers trembled as she held her stomach, feeling everything she had and didn't have there. Her eyes began to water, her lips quivering from the tears that wanted to escape.

Y/N quickly moved her finger to the back button, hoping to break out of the horrible cycle she was about to enter. A loud sob escaped her lips when, upon finally leaving the post, her feed reloaded, and a picture of a model that Y/N followed and admired appeared.

Comparison was her biggest enemy.

Negative thoughts about herself began to pollute her mind, everything around her becoming a fog. The sounds coming from the kitchen became muffled to her ears. Y/N's right hand - which was holding her phone - was gripping the device in such a way that her fingers turned white. Painful sobs escaped her mouth as her eyes remained fixed on the woman's perfect figure.

Why can't I be like her?

The longing for the sensations she felt when she starved hit her chest hard. The desire to want to be as thin as before - or more - filled her.

It didn't take long, and soon, the bedroom door was slowly opened, Matt's silhouette appearing behind it. His face was lit up with a smile - probably because of some joke his brothers made - while his right hand held a plate with two sandwiches.

His cheerful expression was replaced by a frown of concern. Matt quickly closed the door with his feet, walking towards the bed, haphazardly placing the plate on the nearest bedside table before sitting down on the mattress.

His hands flew to Y/N's waist, stopping over her own hand that was squeezing her skin with a force that was sure to leave it bruised.

The girl seemed to wake up from her trance, lifting her head and meeting Matt's calming - but worried - gaze. She cried harder as she imagined what her boyfriend would be thinking of her now.

Automatically, her mind started to play her current state, messy hair, swollen and red face, skin wet with tears, eyes half closed and mouth open, allowing sobs to escape from there.

"M-Matt-" Her sentence was cut off by a sob, her eyes closing tightly.

Matt took a deep breath, trying to process what to do next. His left hand - the one that didn't cover hers - slowly took the phone, taking it out of his girl's death grip. He glanced briefly at the screen, automatically understanding what was happening before locking it and putting the device aside.

He moved his body so that it was closer to hers, resting his hand on her spine and guiding her until she laid her head on his chest, caressing the area below his fingers.

Matt felt his heart break with every tremble that rocked the body beneath his caused by the sobs. If he could take that pain away from his girlfriend, he would.

"It's okay, baby, let it out. I'm right here." He cooed, his fingers caressed the tangled strands of her hair lightly, stroking the area while moving his upper body back and forth, slowly calming his girlfriend.

"Ma-Matty-" Y/N's voice was weak, wobbly from the pain in her heart.

Matt removed his hand from hers for a few seconds, stretching it to the bedside table - where the plate was -, taking the bottle of water that Y/N always filled before going to sleep. He opened the lid in one quick movement, bringing it close to his girl's face.

"Come on, my love. Sit down for a moment and take a sip of water. Please." The boy asked in a soft voice, helping Y/N straighten her posture before bringing the bottle closer to her lips, helping her take a few small sips of the contents.

He closed the bottle after making sure she was satisfied, placing it on the mattress before turning his attention to Y/N again. He brushed away the strands of hair from her face, tucking them behind her ear.

"What if they're right?" She asked in a whisper, catching her bottom lip between her teeth in an attempt to keep from crying.

"No, they aren't." Matt's tone was convincing, as if he was absolutely sure of what he was saying. "You are not worse than others because of your weight. You look great as you are. Your body is perfect, do you know why? Because he's healthy enough to carry you around and take care of you." The boy held her hands lightly, stroking the back of her fingers gently as he looked into her eyes. "The recovery journey is not easy, I remember the words your psychologist said to me when we had that session together. I imagine your head when you see clothes getting tighter, and these comments certainly make you want to give up, I know you, baby."

He paused momentarily, watching her reactions carefully.

Y/N knew that, recovery was hard work. Not wanting to die was hard work.

"Recovery is not a race. You don't have to feel guilty about taking less or more time than you originally thought or having relapses from time to time. This is part of the process, and I want you to understand this. You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in my entire life. When I look at the most beautiful things, I remember you. In the pink tulips of the flower shop across the street, in the Cassiopeia constellation, in the bees that fly in our garden and in the greenest tree I have ever seen." Y/N let out a tearful laugh when she heard him mention the tree, knowing his immense love for nature. "Because you're pretty like them."

"I-I'm sorry." The girl whispered, sniffling then lowering her gaze in shame. "I... I saw the photos that Nick posted, and there were comments..." She shook her head, closing her eyes tightly.

"Oh baby." He leaned slightly over Y/N, sealing his lips over her warm forehead. "If you want to apologize, let me do it. If you went through this now, it was because of me."

"No, Matt. It was never and will never be your fault." Y/N shook her head, wiping her eyes momentarily with the sleeve of her - his - hoodie, sniffling slightly before taking one of Matt's hands, intertwining their fingers. "You don't control people, much less through the internet. They will always talk a lot because they are behind a screen that protects them, but that will never be your fault. I would rather go through this a thousand times and have you with me than never have you again."

"I understand." He paused momentarily. "Please, don't let it get to that point again while you're alone. If you see something that upsets you or makes you feel bad, turn it off instantly and call me. I want to be there to help you. I want to be there for you." The brunette asked, staring at her eyes.

Y/N sighed, nodding her head and leaning slightly closer to him, resting her forehead on Matt's shoulder, exhaling the softening scent and perfume that exuded from the fabric of the hoddie on his body.

Her eyes burned from the tears she shed, closing them tightly to prevent more from falling, her heart still feeling sore from everything.

"If you want, we can contact that psychologist again, the one who helped you throughout the process at the hospital." Matt lowered his head, bringing his face closer to the back of Y/N's head, pressing his lips against his girl's hair, closing his eyes as he felt the warmth of her body close to his. "I want to attend some sessions just like we did last time, so I understand how I can help you this time."

Y/N felt her heart warm instantly, her free hand snaking to Matt's thigh closest to her, stroking the covered skin lightly.

"Okay."

Matt loved Y/N more than he loved himself, and he would make sure that she understood that she wasn't alone anymore.

taglist:

@lustfulslxt @ladybunny44 @worldlxvlys @earth2starkey @remussbitch @freshloveforthefit @il0vebeingdelulu @sturniolowhore @mimi-luvzyu @alorsxsturn @urfavgirllyyyyy @domizzzsstuff @sturnizd @hearts4chris @cupidzsq @dracoflaco @leah-loves-lilies @tylerthecreatorsrealwife

(If you want to be added to the taglist, go to this post)

[hanmaitani]

I Still Fucking Hate You

PAIRING - Tsukishima Kei x Reader WC - 4.1K GENRE - Smut CW - second round, multiple orgasms, creampie, light impact play (face slaps), spit, slight exhibitionism

PREV PART | MASTERLIST | NEXT PART

If you would’ve known that letting Aiko convince you to come to your school’s volleyball team’s end of trimester party would end you here - you wouldn’t have come. You would have said no. If you’d have known that you’d end up alone in a room with Tsukishima Kei you would have walked out the second you got here. But here you were. Alone. With one of the people you hated the most. Panting heavily in a post-orgasmic haze. And you were glad that at the beginning of the night, you didn’t know that you’d end up here.

As much as you hated to admit it, he was a fucking sight to see.

Sculpted abs flexing with every movement. Sweat dripping down his perfect, lean muscles. Blonde hair damp and mussed without care. And his still hard cock. Fuck. It was fucking gorgeous and glistening with a mix of both his and your cum.

You swallowed hard and met his eyes as he smirked down at you. That stupid fucking condescending smirk that made your skin burn with hatred, and now lust.

"Did you think I was fucking done?" He was inexplicably intimidating from this angle-towering over you. He laughed at your wide-eyed expression and reached to tear off your dress. "What's wrong, slut? No smart remarks this time?"

You groaned and lost your balance on your arms as he quickly pushed two fingers back into you, watching with sick satisfaction as his cum gushed around them.

You moaned despite yourself. "I fucking hate you."

The sight of Tsukishima standing between your legs, both of you completely bare of clothes, was something you never thought you’d see. His eyes were trained on the gap he created between your legs, on his fingers that were skillfully pushing into you with a purpose.

“Feeling's mutual.” He muttered as he withdrew his fingers, scooping at some of his cum that had slipped out before pushing it back in as he pressed his fingers right into your g-spot, pulling a stuttered moan from your lips. “But I can admit that this messy little pussy looks so good overflowing with my cum.” He growled, smirk widening as he locked eyes with you.

You whined pathetically as his fingers left you and couldn’t help but let your lips slightly part, drool collecting in the corners of your mouth as your eyes trained on how his fingers looked covered in both of your cum. Ever-observant, Tsukishima didn’t miss the small motion and with a chuckle, he pulled his clean hand up to your jaw.

He pulled your lower lip down with his thumb and quickly pressed his soiled fingers into your mouth, the sudden heaviness on your tongue had your eyes widening. His own eyes watched as your lips instinctually closed around his fingers, a muffled whimper vibrating around them as you pressed your tongue flat against his fingers.

You lapped at the mix of your cum, the mix of tangy and salty sending dizziness through your head and you suddenly wished that you could find yourself on your knees before him. To know just how sweet he’d taste like that.

You didn’t have more time to entertain the thought because Tsukishima’s fingers were leaving your mouth just as fast as they entered, an animalistic growl leaving his throat as his hands wrapped around the backs of your knees and jerked you towards him. With your ass barely off the bed, he quickly pushed his cock back into you without warning.

You swore that your breathing stopped for a second, the feeling of him bottoming out pushed every thought out of you. You had thought that maybe the stretch would be less intense since he had just been in you but-

“Fuck, still so fucking tight.” He moaned, pulling out slightly only to slam back into you. A scream fell from your lips as your eyes fluttered shut. “A bitch like you has no - fuck - no right feeling this fucking good.”

High-pitched whines and moans fell from your lips as he picked up his pace, moans slipping from his lips. You felt his grip on your spread knees tighten and suddenly they were being pushed up, further towards your shoulders, allowing his cock to ram into you at a new angle.

The world around you seemed to fade away, you weren’t aware of anything but the small squeals leaving your lips between the curses that couldn’t even really be considered words at that point. Your eyes were squeezed shut and you could feel the familiar tightening sensation building in your gut.

You blindly reached to help him hold your legs in place, desperate to curl your hands around something. You could feel the pressure of your forearms against the back of your thighs, nails digging into the skin of the inside of your thighs. What brought your attention back was a harsh shake of your head.

Tsukishima’s hand was wrapped around your jaw, consuming it easily in a single large palm. His fingers were tight on your bottom jaw, shaking your head back and forth. “I’m fucking talking to you slut.”

You blinked rapidly, his smirk coming back into your vision as he looked down at you amused. Had he been talking to you? You didn’t think he had been, hadn’t heard anything over the rapid beat of your heart as he didn’t stop his pounding.

“So fucking dumb you can’t even hear?” he taunted, his fingers rising slightly on your cheeks and pressing unforgivingly into the space between your teeth, forcing your jaw open easily by pinching them together.

The bruising pain of his fingers forced a whimper out of your mouth. “S-sor-sorry.” You whined out, you couldn’t recognize your own voice, slurred from the position of your mouth, a higher pitch than you remember it being. Your tongue struggled to move in your mouth, the grip on your jaw and cheeks not allowing it to move into the top half of your mouth. You could feel the tip of it resting on your lower lip, drool beginning to collect there.

He laughed at your fucked out expression and paused his movements, eliciting a whining protest from you. He leaned above you, his mouth hovering above yours and smirked down at you. “How disgusting can you get?”

Your eyes widened as you watched him gather the spit in his mouth before opening it and letting it drip off his tongue straight to yours. You squeaked as you felt it hit your tongue. The foreign feeling of someone else’s spit hitting your tongue, hot and easily sliding to the back of your throat, sent a pulse running through your body, your cunt clenching around his cock as your eyelids fluttered.

“You get off on that?” He laughed but picked up his pace again. “Swallow it.” Muffled moans struggled to leave your mouth as you gulped down his saliva the best you could. His eyes focused in on how your throat constricted as his saliva disappeared from his sight.

He was hitting such a delicious spot inside of you and you could feel your body tightening. He had released your jaw but your mouth stayed hung open, tongue falling out lightly as you panted out sinful moans trying to remember to breathe.

His hands found their way back to your hips, keeping you in place as he snapped his hips into you roughly. There would no doubt be bruises left by his fingers and his hips, reminders of how you were feeling. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head again.

A sting on your cheek and a quick jerk of your head had a gasp leaving your open mouth and your eyes snapped open to look at Tsukishima hovering over you. His hips didn’t falter as his hand held your jaw open and in place again. You realized that the feeling you had just had was him slapping you to draw your attention back up to him.

“You wanna fucking cum?” he grunted out and watched as you desperately nodded your head in his hand. “You know what to do.” His stupid smirk sent shockwaves down to your core forcing the coil inside of you to get impossibly tighter. “Ask me.”

“Caa- aaah cuuuhhh?” It came out jumbled and slurred, the words refusing to form around your pinched cheeks and the drool collecting in your mouth and spilling out the corners.

You let out a scream from the back of your throat as he pounded into you harder with a laugh. “Sorry, I couldn’t catch that.” He mocked. “Did you need something?” You nodded desperately, another scream tearing through your throat.

“leeease-” frustrated tears started to pool in your eyes at your body’s refusal to form the request. “leease- leh- eee cuhh-“ your pathetic attempt was cut off by another squeal as he switched the angle of his hips.

“Oh you want to cum?” The tone was condescending and if you weren’t so desperate for release you would’ve wanted to slap him. Instead, you nodded fervently and let slurred 'yes's run from your mouth. “Well, you should have just asked me, little slut.”

He chuckled but his voice was breathless. He used his grip on your jaw and your hip to pin you into the mattress as he pounded away at your pussy, drawing choked sobs and screams from your throat. “If you want to cum, I want your eyes on me.” He demanded it, forcing you to train your eyes on his as they took in every aspect of your messy state. “Now fucking cum for me.” He ordered.

You struggled to focus on keeping him in your sight as your vision started to blur, the okay being given to you to let go. You could feel your eyes beginning to cross as he ran his hand from your hip to close around your throat. The lightheaded sensation as his fingers pressed delightfully against the side of your neck pushed you towards the edge.

You struggled to keep his face in your sight as your mouth fell open even more, a high pitched shriek falling out as his hand on your jaw left only to come down again on your cheek. You felt his hot saliva hit your tongue again, choking on it as a moan tried to claw its way out.

“Kei!” You squealed his name repeatedly, mixing in slurred 'fuck's as you felt the coil snap, your body arching off the bed. His grip on your throat kept you close to him as his hips started to lose their careful rhythm but never faulting in their intensity or pace.

“Fuck,” he growled out, “look at how cute that stupid fucking face you make is.” He groaned and dropped his hands off your face. He dropped to his elbows, situating them above each of your shoulders.

He used the placement of your elbows against your shoulders to pull you into him harder with each thrust as he dropped his face into your neck. “Oh god.” It came out as a broken moan against your skin, hot breath fanning against the sweat gathered there.

You squeezed your eyes shut as you let out another high pitched moan into his ear. “Fuck, Kei!” Tears fell out of your eyes at the overwhelming pleasure lighting every nerve on fire. “S’good, fuck. More please.” You begged desperately, whining every time you heard a moan fall from his lips, vibrating your skin.

“Fuck.” He responded in kind, his lips connecting to the base of your neck, sucking a piece of skin between his teeth. “Y’feel s’good, s’tight ‘round me.” You whimpered at it as he released the skin and slurred his words into your skin. He quickly reattached his lips to another piece of skin and you hiccuped out another cry. “Fuck, gimme another one,” he begged, “cum f’me again.”

You still hadn’t recovered from the last one, but the sound of Kei falling apart above you sent you hurtling over yet another edge. “Fuck, good girl,” he praised through moans, “fuck!” Kei cried out, pressing his hips into you and holding them as he spilled yet another load into you. He held your spasming body tight against him as your walls clenched him hard, begging to keep him inside.

The two of you laid like that for a minute, both panting and trying to catch your breaths. Trying to let your brains catch up to the reality of what you’d just done. He pulled back first, glancing down at your fucked out form as your chest heaved up and down under him.

His thumb swiped at your lower lip collecting some of the drool before he caught himself and winced at the soft action. He quickly removed his hand and helped you lower your legs from where you forgot you had been holding them. His fingers quietly traced the bruises blossoming across your thighs before he sighed and pulled out.

You bit back a whimper at the sudden empty feeling. You felt his grip on your lower back, helping you to stand and you couldn’t do anything but stare at him as he leaned down to pull his pants and boxers back on. You cleared your throat and he glanced at you quickly, an unfamiliar look in his wide eyes.

You opened your mouth to speak but were stopped as he quickly shoved your dress back at you. You let out a short scoff, followed by a gasp and widened eyes as you felt some of his cum slip out and slicken the very tops of your thighs.

You swore you could see him smirk, like he knew what had just happened but chose to ignore it as you pulled your dress over your body again. You went to look for your underwear when the realization crashed over you.

“You fucking asshole.” You growled out. “You ripped my underwear.”

He did laugh then, his usual mocking and incredibly hot irritating laugh. “Did I? Sorry.” He held up the piece of ripped lace and shrugged, not sounding, or looking, sorry at all with that smirk on his lips. He shoved the lace into his pockets and finished pulling his shirt down his abs.

“I swear to-” he crossed the distance between you in two steps and pulled your body tight to his to cut you off. Your breath hitched as you looked up at him towering over you again.

“I swear I just fucked that attitude out of you.” You gulped and he smirked as his fingers traced down the expanse of your throat. “Now, we’re going to walk out there, and we’re going to pretend like this," he waved a finger between both your bodies, "never happened and have a nice night with our friends." Your eyes widened at his words but you didn't dare interrupt.

"And you,” he smirked, one hand tilting your jaw to keep your eyes trained on him and the other pulling lightly at the hem of your dress to make sure it covered everything properly, “are going to keep my cum nice and safe inside of you in case you need a reminder when you want to run that slutty little mouth of yours again.” He slipped two fingers into your mouth and pressed down on your tongue. You froze under his touch.

“Understand?” You nodded lightly, wide eyes staring up at him. He released you then, removing his hands completely from your body and taking a small step away. “Good girl.” He cooed at you mockingly and you pushed him, though it did nothing.

You side-stepped him and were suddenly very aware of how shaky your legs were. You bit your lip and braced yourself on the wall as you pushed past him. “Fuck you, you stupid lamppost.” You growled as you left the room. He chuckled under his breath and followed you down the hall and towards the backyard where your friends were all gathered by the pool.

“Hey Yamaguchi!” Tsukishima called over you as you both stepped out the door. “Couldn’t find your stupid towels!” Your face burned as everyone’s eyes snapped to watch the two of you rejoin the group, feeling like they all knew what you both had just been doing.

You straightened your posture and took your hand off the wall trying to radiate the same confidence you usually did as you took a step out onto the porch, completely forgetting why you had been using the wall in the first place. Your shaky legs buckled under you and you nearly fell.

Tsukishima’s arm quickly caught you around your hips, steadying you. His touch lingered as you found your balance on your own. The burning in your face spread down your neck and up to the tips of your ears as you watched the team stare in shock at his hand on your body.

You tightened the muscles in your legs and your embarrassment heightened as you felt how easily your thighs glided across each other with the help of his cum. He hovered next to you as you took the few steps to reach the back of the outdoor couch that currently housed Hinata and Tadashi. You tried to ignore the whispers coming from Nishinoya from across the porch as you gripped the back of the couch to steady yourself and subtly swatted Tsukishima’s hand away.

“Did you see that! Tsukishima just willingly touched y/n!” You rolled your eyes at how bad Nishinoya was at whispering as Tanaka quickly hit him upside the head to shut him up.

“Ah,” Tadashi’s hand came up to rub the back of his neck nervously as he looked up between you and Tsukishima, “sorry Tsukki, forgot I moved them, thought Maki went to go tell you.” His voice came out as a squeak and he couldn’t seem to look either of you in the eyes.

You looked over to Aiko with accusation in your eyes, she only shrugged her shoulders, a small smirk playing on her lips. “Ahah,” she laughed lightly, “I thought I did, oops!” She smiled at you playfully and you fixed her with a short glare.

You trained your ears on Hinata, who was now excitedly calling your nickname. “Y/n/n! Come sit next to me!” He patted the seat next to him, on the other side of him from Tadashi.

You almost moved to him but paused as your thighs rubbed together and you were very aware of the stain that you would leave on the couch if you sat. The stark reminder of what you’d just done with Tsukishima starting to drip onto your upper thighs.

“Uh- I’m,” you took a deep breath to steady your voice, “I’m okay, thank you though, Hinata.” You saw Tsukishima smirk from the corner of your eye and you forced yourself to not glare at him right there and to stay nice for Hinata who was still beaming up at you.

“No! C'mon y/n/n! It’s fine! I’ll make more room for you!” He scooted a little closer to Tadashi and smiled wider.

“Really, Hinata, I’m okay.” Your face heated up again as you tried to come up with reasons you could give the boy for why you didn’t want to sit next to him without breaking his heart.

It was like a gear clicked into place for Tadashi and you could see the tips of his ears turn red in realization. “Uh, Hinata, leave her alone.” Tadashi whispered in his friends ear.

“But she looks tired!” Hinata exclaimed and your eyes widened as Tsukishima tried to stifle a laugh next to you.

“I really feel like standing will keep me awake more, Hinata, but I really appreciate you looking out for me.” You smiled tightly at him.

He opened his mouth to ask again but Tadashi tugged on the sleeve of his shirt. “Hinata, please.” Tadashi begged, his voice soft and his face turning bright red at his assumed knowledge.

Then Aiko did the one and only thing that you would thank her for tonight. She swooped in and plopped down in the seat next to Hinata. “It’s okay Hinata, I’ll sit next to you.” She smiled at him sweetly and slung her arm over him before her face lit up. “Hey! Weren’t we gonna go swimming!?” She exclaimed before pulling up a, now, re-excited Hinata and dragging him off towards the water.

Tadashi sheepishly followed after, leaving you and Tsukishima alone again, leaning against the chairs. He let out a light chuckle at your red face and you clenched your jaw, refusing to look at him.

“What the fuck do you think you’re laughing at?” You growled out at him and his smirk only deepened.

“I feel like standing,” he mocked you in a higher pitch, following it with a scoff. “You’re pathetic shrimp. Please, acting like you could even stand on your own right now. Like your legs aren’t still shaking under you.” He taunted you and you ground your teeth together. He wasn’t wrong but that didn’t mean it didn’t piss you off.

“Listen you fucking idiotic lamppost-” you seethed through your teeth. “I dont fucking know who you think you are getting off on talking to me like-“ you got cut off with a gasp. You quickly bit your lip to hide the noise as you felt his fingers brush between your upper thighs.

“Didn’t I just put you in your fucking place, slut?” He whispered, just low enough that you could hear and no one else as his long fingers collected some of his cum that had dripped out of you. “Do you need a reminder already?” You let out a low whimper as he pushed his cum back into you, pressing his fingers immediately into your most sensitive places.

“It’s okay,” he taunted, “you keep fighting with me all night, so they don’t know,” he chuckled as your grip on the couch in front of you tightened, your wide eyes trailing your friends and begging none of them could see what was happening behind the couch, “I’ll be here to remind you of your place—under me and begging for more.”

He moved his fingers slowly, like he was in no rush, clearly unbothered by the publicity of it all, he knew no one would see. “Begging to cum on my cock.”

“I still fucking hate you.” You gritted out between your teeth but almost whined in protest as he drew his fingers out of you, wiping most of your mixed cum on your upper thigh.

“Good.” He smirked as he drew his fingers up to his lips. He casually licked them clean, locking eyes with you as he did. You squeezed your thighs together and felt a whimper tear through your throat involuntarily. “I still fucking hate you too.”

Bonus:

“You did remember to move the towels, right Yams?” Aiko whispered as she barely contained her giggles.

“I don’t keep towels in the guest room, Maki.” Tadashi whispered back, feeling slightly bad that he was setting up his best friend like this. “Tsukki is going to kill me if he finds out what I’m doing with you.”

Aiko laughed and shook her head, “they’ll only kill us if it doesn’t work.” She quickly stepped in front of Hinata and Nishinoya as they started bounding down the hallway. “Where do you think you’re going?” She asked, refusing to let them pass.

“To help y/n and Suckyshima.” Hinata answered proudly.

“Yeah they’re all alone in there!” Nishinoya exclaimed. “They’re gonna kill each other.”

“There’s no towels in there, are there?” Sugawara asked with a laugh from behind the two shorter boys. Tadashi’s face reddened, he opened his mouth to answer but was cut off as a high pitched scream came from behind the door.

The faces of Aiko, Tadashi, and Sugawara all turned a deep shade of red at the noise. Hinata and Nishinoya, however leapt for the door, each was quickly caught by Tadashi and Sugawara, refusing to let them any closer. “THAT SOUNDED LIKE SHE GOT HURT!” Hinata yelled, struggling.

“Let us help our precious y/n!” Nishinoya shouted in unison.

“I promise you guys,” Aiko patted both of the boys’ shoulders, “she’s just fine in there.” The smirk on her face told them everything they needed to know and she laughed as both of the boys’ faces slowly heated up to match the shade of Hinata’s hair. Small little “oh”s fell from their mouths as their body’s went slack.

“Let’s all go outside, yeah?” Sugawara started to push the group away from the door and to move the party where they could hear, less clearly.

a/n he makes me ✨insane

TAGLIST - CLOSED

@tetsuskei @universal-s1ut @cl-0-vr

[etherealstar-writes]

CONTACTS CHAOS | ARSENAL WFC X READER

pairings: leah williamson x teen!reader / arsenal women x teen!reader

summary: in which leah cheats to win against you in fifa and you get your payback

warnings: none

✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦

Leah and you were lounging on the comfortable sofas during the lunch break. The sounds of laughter and banter from the rest of your teammates echoed in the background, creating a relaxed atmosphere. With the PlayStation controller gripped in your hands, you were confidently leading in the latest FIFA match against Leah.

"Oh, come on, Leah, you're not seriously going to let me win again, are you?" You teased, a playful smirk on your face as your team dominated the field.

Leah rolled her eyes, a mischievous glint appearing. "Win again? I think you mean, let me come back and crush you."

As the match progressed, you were tied 1-1. But just when victory seemed assured and you were about to score another goal, Leah resorted to her infamous tactics. 

She scooted closer, her eyes widening innocently. "Hey, y/n, did you hear about the surprise meeting after this break?"

You furrowed your brow, momentarily distracted by her sudden announcement. "What meeting? Why didn't anyone tell me?"

Leah seized the opportunity, swiftly manoeuvring her players to score a goal. "Sorry, distraction technique. Works every time," she chuckled, her team celebrating on the screen.

You groaned, realising the sly tactic she had employed. "That's cheating, Leah! You can't just distract me like that."

Leah grinned, unapologetic. "All's fair in love and FIFA, my friend. Now look, who's the winner?"

The final whistle blew, and to your disbelief, Leah emerged victorious. You couldn't help but shoot her an annoyed glance. "You cheated, and you know it."

Leah, revelling in her triumph, shrugged nonchalantly. "Call it what you want, loser. Maybe you should work on your focus skills."

Your annoyance turned into a mock glare, "Fine, enjoy your tainted victory."

Leah stuck her tongue out at you. "I always do, especially when it's against sore losers like you."

With that, she stood up, placing the PlayStation controller down and sauntered away, probably to a meeting, leaving you fuming. Your eyes landed on her unlocked phone next to you and a devious smirk spread across your face, seizing the perfect opportunity for payback. You quickly went to work with your genius idea before the England captain realised she’d forgotten her phone and would return to retrieve it.

And it wasn’t until later that night did Leah discover what exactly you had done with her phone. She was simply lounging in her living room, watching a tv show, when her peace was disturbed by her phone ringing. 

The blonde fished her phone out of her pocket, and out of the people she’d thought of who would be calling her at this moment, she definitely didn’t expect this as she read the name of the caller ID.

McDonalds.

Why the hell would McDonalds be calling her? She declined the call, thinking of it as a spam call. But the number kept on ringing. Finally having enough, she accepted the call, ready to go off at them but was cut off by a voice she was definitely not expecting.

“Finally!” Katie’s voice spoke through. “Why’d you keep on declining my calls?”

Leah’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Katie?”

“Yeah? Who else do you think?”

“Well the ID said McDonalds so I thought it was a spam call or something,” Leah tried explaining as she scrolled through her phone contacts. “I don’t know how your name got changed, I didn’t … oh god ...”

“McDonalds?” Katie burst into laughter on the other end. “What happened?”

Leah scrolled through and discovered the chaos you had wrought, realised a lot of her contacts had new, unbelievable names. And she knew exactly who’d be responsible for it.

The next day at training, Leah stormed over towards you with a fiery glare, and you couldn't help but smirk, knowing exactly what she was about to bring up. She folded her arms across her chest and raised an eyebrow, clearly not amused.

"Seriously, Y/n?! Changing my contact names?! I know it was you who did it." She pointed towards her phone.

You shrugged, maintaining your smug expression. "Well, you cheated in FIFA, and I thought it was time to remind you not to mess with me."

"I demand an apology."

You crossed your arms, feigning innocence. "Me, apologise? Please, you cheated and deserved a little payback."

Leah sighed in frustration, realising that arguing with you would be futile. "Fine, but you better fix it, or I'll make your life miserable."

You chuckled, feeling satisfied with the reaction. "Make my life miserable? Good luck with that, miss sore loser. But hey, maybe next time, don't cheat in FIFA."

Leah groaned in defeat and walked away, realising she would have to face the teasing from the entire team when she went around collecting everyone's numbers again. And they couldn't help but give her playful jabs.

Steph grinned as she read her contact name. "The better defender, huh? Thanks Leah, I really like the new nickname."

"Same here," Beth agreed as she read hers over Steph's shoulder as the superior lioness. "I don't think they need to be changed."

"Shut up, you guys," Leah grumbled before shooting you another glare. "I will get you back for this.”

You merely flashed her a grin in return as you continued to watch her suffer.

[lowkeyrobin]

Hii!! Is it possible to request a Minho x Reader Angst fic? I don’t have any real ideas for what i just rlly like angst😭

Anyway make sure you’re looking after yourself!!

YES 🙏🙏 I concocted the perfect idea for this so I hope you enjoy! ; thank you for requesting!! ; I wrote like a good chunk of this in geometry and physical science so this is actually kinda good lol ; also this is so damn long for me what the FUCK. ; also a bit of inspo in the end thanks to she by jelly roll...

MINHO ; they

summary ; minho loses you again

warnings ; language, guns & gun violence, explosions/bombs, death, he rips off your wckd jacket & top (not sexual), and a panic attack

disclaimers ; top ten most unneeded deaths in cinema

track ; she, jelly roll (again, not a word)

word count ; 2.5k

masterlist

Minho lost everything he'd been able to remember once he left the Glade, including you.

You were a smart thinker, which confused him as to why you stayed back with Gally and the other skeptics who didn't want to find escape in the maze. He tried so hard to convince you to come, but with such little time, he couldn't.

He'd spent months imprisoned mourning the loss of your presence. He didn't know how to function without you. He wondered where you were all the time, if you were even alive or not. He'd been wishing the best in your fate, in the scorch and back in the hands of WCKD. He missed your dorky smile and infectious laughter, hoping one day he could hear it again, even in the stars that he oh-so-missed gazing with you.

Your name scorched his heart every time it was spoken. Your face was engraved in his brain, to the point every time he thought of or imagined you, he'd fight back tears to stay strong. You were weaponized against him, being used to create false memories and episodes to help them find a cure.

Every time he'd wake up from a real dream where you were present, he'd end up in tears, to then have to cradle himself back to sleep. He'd been confined like this for months, then another few days before the bust. It was so, so much worse in the Last City, he'd rather have died in some horrific train crash then have missed his chance at freedom.

However, you survived. Gally did, too, though, even after Minho pierced his chest with a spear.

You'd joined some revolution gang together, learning to use guns and join the ranks. You'd been given bulletproof vests once you proved your worth, officially becoming part of the team.

Reuniting with Thomas, Fry, and Newt was a story in itself, but knowing, or at least hoping, that you'd see Minho again made your heart race in your chest. Gally took Thomas and Newt out to explore the perimeter of the city, letting you reconnect and catch up with Fry and get to know Brenda and her father figure Jorge.

Brenda grew fond of you quickly, liking your badassery and passion to overthrow WCKD. She knew you weren't into trying to kill innocents and understood that you wanted bullets in Janson's and Paige's heads, and you were willing to do it for free.

You showed her and Fry how to use the electro-guns, two you'd stolen from WCKD guards that defended the city walls. They're good for torture, but it was never your taste of tea, you left the others to do the sick shit. You wanted your friends back, you didn't even know they'd been free up til earlier today.

Once the trio came back, they set up a plan that you and Gally jumped in on to deflect and suggest ideas. It was set for tomorrow night, and you didn't know how to process it. You try not to think of Minho the rest of the night, which you awfully fail at, as you'd fallen asleep thinking of him.

You play out your role over and over again, overthinking every single detail down to the grade of gun you'd have strapped to your side. Gally, now your close friend after all this time together, could see your nervousness and anticipation.

"You okay?" He asks, leaning on the railing to your shared bunk bed. You slept on the bottom, him on the top.

You nod, arms sprawled over the top of your pillow, basically holding it like it was going anywhere. "I'm good. Nervous"

He nods, "It'll be alright, we're gonna get him back"

You'd stolen WCKD gaurd suits, your first priority. You and Gally walk around the perimeter of the building post getting the kids on the bus. Your masks are up to avoid any real guards noticing that you're fakes. He holds his bulky gun across his chest, while yours is angled with the safety on across your back. A hand rests over the pistol on your side.

You can feel your heart pounding behind your ribcage, the anticipation of seeing Minho and taking down WCKD killing you. Gally pats your shoulder for reassurance and nods forward silently, wanting to pick up the pace.

You notice explosions in the distance, firey flames illuminating the sky.

As you walk under the main area, you notice a fire extinguisher land in the modern pool, splashing water into the air as it sinks to the bottom. You hear yells, then three bodies plop into the pool. You and three other guards behind you run to the scene, while you and Gally lag behind, knowing who just showed up.

Thomas, Newt, and Minho rise out of the water, floating over to the side after Thomas sends Janson, standing in the bay of the window, maybe twenty stories high, a middle finger. They wade over to the edge and pull themselves out, guards hold them at gunpoint, leaving their faces shaken and in despair.

Gally acts first, shoving one of the guards into the pool, then you pistol whip the one on your right, and you together knock out the last guy. The boys stare at you two, confused as to why two guards had apparently saved them, their questions are quickly answered as Gally rips his mask off.

"Hey"

"Oh, you bloody genius!"

"Oh, shit"

"What the hell?" Minho mutters.

Laying your eyes on him again, even though that mask, it brought you nearly to tears. Seeing his eyes, so tired, his body clearly so weak from the mental and physical stress, your heart broke for him. You make sure your handheld gun had the safety on before tucking it away properly.

"Long story" Gally replies to Minho, knowing what he was thinking.

Minho, still in genuine shock, adrenaline coursing through his veins, looks to you, wondering if you were maybe Brenda or Fry. You bite the inside of your cheek before pulling your mask off, softly smiling at Minho.

Newt and Thomas smile, Newt much more weak, as he was beginning to crank out.

"Y/n?" He questions in disbelief. "How- am I dreaming again?"

You quickly pound the boy into a hug, the moisture from his body rubbing off onto your red and grey outfit. The mask lays on the concrete, where Gally kicks it into the water, same with his.

You hear him begin to sob, holding onto you so tightly in fear you'd disappear like all the times before. You rub his back with your dominant hand, which trails up his spine toward his nape.

"I thought you were dead" He cries, "They've been using you in those simulations-"

"It's okay." You softly speak, "We have to go, you can tell me all about it later"

He nods, eyes still widened in shock and confusion as you follow the other three as they quickly flee the scene.

You take cover by some bushes, leaving Newt on the side to rip his jacket off as he sweats profusely. The veins in his neck were bulging out of his skin, colored a matte black.

You couldn't help but stare, unable to listen to the others talk. You quickly rush to his aid, wanting to help him be the most comfortable he possibly could be.

You crouch down next to him, giving him some reassuring words that he'd be okay. You help him to his feet, where Minho is at your side.

Gally and Thomas lead the way as another explosion rings through the air near you. You duck your head as some loose shrapnel lightly hits your skin, thankfully not enough force given to puncture your face.

The explosions only become worse as you run through a little diner, having no alternate route around as the city was being blown to smithereens.

"God damnit, we said blow up the entrance, not the whole damn city"

Newt falls to the ground, too weak to walk as black ooze drips from his lips. Glass explodes behind you, in which you quickly shove Minho to the ground in front of you to protect him. You cover your head, letting the glass shards hit your protected back.

He gasps for air for a moment as Thomas and Gally prop him up against a safe wall, trying to talk to him. You and Minho follow suit, making a quick plan to go get the temporary cure from Brenda and Jorge, and run back to give it to Newt.

"Stay strong for me, okay?" Minho speaks, his hands on the blonde's shoulders.

He nods, his eyes clearly lost in a daze, his vision blurry and wobbly.

Minho pats his shoulder before standing up, letting you give him a nod of reassurance. You and Gally follow Minho, weapons drawn to protect him as he leads with his quick sprinting skills.

You three get one last look at Newt and Thomas before fleeing, working your way through the maze of buildings and explosions to get to your friends. Gally shoots a guard at his side while you do the same at about a 10'o'clock radius.

"This way!"

You follow Minho, the explosions so loud that they defeaned gunshots. The battery on your stolen WCKD gun runs out, and you toss it to the side, resorting to using your pistol to defend your friends. Another bomb nearly knocks you off your feet, causing you to stumble into Minho.

"Sorry!" You shout over the noise.

"You okay?" He shouts back, helping you balance on your feet again.

"Yeah!" You quickly reply, nodding forward for him to continue running to get the cure.

You make it down to the Berg, where Fry, Brenda and Jorge await your arrival.

"The cure!"

"We can't leave him here like this"

"We can't take him back-"

"We have to, please"

"It's too dangerous, we won't make it back to the Berg in time, or we'll get blown up carrying him!"

You stand at Minho's side, looking down at the blonde haired boy as he stands up. He wipes the tears from his eyes, looking at you.

"We have to leave him, Minho"

He nods, slowly placing the cure in Newt's cold hand. He takes one last look at him before turning away, waiting for anyone to speak and give orders.

Brenda speaks up again, deciding to get back to the Berg as fast as possible. You all follow her, guns out, ready to shoot whoever you had to at this point.

Minho turns to you as you run side by side, "Why are you here? Why are you putting yourself in the face of danger? To save me or something?"

You give him a little head tilt to act as a shrug, "You called"

"What?"

You shake your head, deciding to explain it once you were in the hands of safety. An explosion, which cause the ground to rumble beneath you, knocks you all off your feet and onto the hard concrete.

You all groan in pain, having fallen all over each other. Brenda had fallen onto Fry, and they both stumble to the side, apologizing to one another profusely. You'd fallen onto Minho, of course, and help him back to his feet.

You feel lightheaded, your face growing cold, odd for the amount of heat and fire and running around you'd been doing. You lean onto the boy, feeling woozy, as maybe you'd stood up to fast.

Then you fall to your knees, some invisible force knocking you down, your cargo pants ripping at the knees from the impact.

"Y/n!" You hear Minho shout, his voice echoey in your ears.

You hear three gunshots coming from each Fry, Gally, and Brenda. You look back, seeing a WCKD guard fall on their back after taking three shots to the head and chest. Minho's hands rest on your shoulder and on your cheek as he calls your name, asking if you're okay. You see his eyes glance down, where he quickly looks back up to not scare you.

You stand up, numb to any pain. He follows, making sure you're able to keep balance on your feet. He quickly rips off the bulletproof vest for you and your jacket, revealing the wound right under your collar bone.

You look down at it, then look back up at him, eyebrows furrowed. You look to the other three, eyes widened in shock and fear. Another explosion pops a few hundred yards away, shaking the ground again, though not enough to knock you all down once more.

Minho quickly shouts for anything he can use to keep pressure on the wound. He held his hand over it, as the bleeding was horrible at the moment. His hands are covered in your blood, considering the bullet that shot you went clear through you. You notice the bullet a few feet away, light flickering off of it as it rolls into the street where multiple bloody bodies lay.

Minho rips a piece of his shirt and stuffs it into the exit wound, ordering you to hold it there. He pulls you along as you continue running through the city. Your left arm rests over Minho's shoulders, not wanting to upset your other side. Considering moving, it would only agitate it more, and you were trying to keep pressure on the wound anyway.

As you reach the final yards to reach the Berg where Jorge and Vince wait, you collapse to your knees again, landing face first in the debris covered concrete. Minho falls with you, your weight having dragged him down. He tries to pull you up but notices the pool of blood forming around you. A thin, but large pool.

He calls your name over and over, then flips you on your back, where blood sputters out of your mouth. He quickly pulls you up, your back now held up by Brenda and Fry, who were quick to turn back. Gally crouches down on one knee and slowly removes the cloth from the wound, absolutely drenched in crimson.

"No, no, no, no. Not now! Y/n, get up, please," He pleads, watching Vince and Jorge rush to your aid. "They were shot by a gaurd, went clean through, there's so much blood-"

You reach your hand out to Minho as the men pick you up off the ground, where you stumble to walk with them. They practically carry you on their shoulders to the Berg.

Another explosion knocks you all to the ground again, leaving bruises on faces, arms, and legs as you're pounded onto the ground. You'd be lucky enough not to get AIDS at this point.

Minho stumbles to his feet, rushing to you as the men pick themselves up before you.

He notices blood spewing from the other side of your chest. He rips the extra layers of clothing off your torso, tossing your pistol to the side as well. Gally looks around, finger on the trigger of his gun, looking for a shooter.

"Stray bullet!" Brenda shouts, "Get them in there! Go! Thomas needs us!"

Minho places his hands under your arms and drags you into the Berg himself, all the children right in view of your slumped body. You choke on blood and air, feeling your face grow cold and pale. The liquid trails up into the aircraft, staining the hard metal red for the time being.

Vince jumps into the driver's seat, ordering the others to help you and how to before it's too late. Brenda stands next to him, trying to get any info out of Thomas through the walkies.

You wrap your arms around Minho, feeling the pain in your chest now as you grunt and cry. You squeeze onto the back of his shirt, the pain causing you to claw your fingers into him. He holds you, his heart breaking in two as you struggle to breathe.

The placement, it wasn't possible to keep you this time. It wasn't possible to keep you and be free in any situation, in any timeline, in any universe.

"I don't wanna say goodbye"

He sits on the beach every morning, talking to the sunrise as if you were there next to him. He didn't mind the sand that would pile up in his boots or the dusty grain that would stick to his hydrophoric hands all damn day if it weren't for the water there to wash it away.

His fingers traced over your name on the rock when he felt lonely, like you were magically there, hugging him again.

He'd never know for sure what you meant when you said that he called. He understood that you definitely didn't hear him call for you after awakening after nightmares, but maybe you did, he wouldn't have known. He guessed in a metaphorical sense, he did call for you, which you both knew, but it still confused him somehow. He wanted you to explain it all so he'd understand, like how you always did.

He regretted never being able to rant about all his feelings to you. He wished he had time to tell you about all he went through so you could reassure him that you'd protect him forever. You'd protect him from the nightmares and the scars, the mental baggage that would weigh him down forever.

He started crying himself to sleep after he began to forget your face.

He just wanted another hug, but your face was beginning to blur out. It sent him into a panic attack right there. No one was there to help him as he cried and clawed into the dirt, trying to ground himself again. He couldn't believe himself, he treasured you so much yet he was forgetting your face after merely a year after your dissapearance?

It didn't help that after a while, he began to forget your voice too, that hurt even more. He'd been forced to talk about his feelings to Thomas like a parent-child conference. He wasn't himself anymore.

His eyes were always swollen, eyebags dark and weighing his happiness down. He was depressed. Every smile he showed was just him trying to make his way through another day's work, distracting himself from the fact that he lost you, for good this time, he watched it.

He wrote letters to you with no address to send to. It didn't help whatsoever that he himself pushed you out into the sea once Thomas regained consciousness so he could say farewell. He watched it all, he knew you were gone this time. At least he had some sense of closure.

He had nothing left of you other than that WCKD jacket you wore, that haunted him as he slept. He only kept it because even with the logo of the corporation that tortured him for years and past the bullet holes in it, it provided him a little comfort that you were still there.

He found that telling stories of you to the younger kids helped.

"They were like the life of the party, bright smile, infectious laughter. They were the one everyone wanted to be around. You could see the sunrise in their eyes."

"Who were they to you?" One little girl asks.

"I don't really know" Minho shrugs, looking down at his hands for a moment.

"Where are they now?" A little boy asks, tilting his head.

"They're in the sky, they have been. They're stuck there. I hope I see them again" He replies with a little nod, looking up at the sun beginning to set up on the island.

"Why are they stuck in the sky?"

"They're afraid of coming down"

[sparxyv]

Mousey Student ID 💙🐭

NOW 😏 time for Mousey's official introduction.. get ready for another huge infodump! (this one's even longer than Milena's I'm so sorry 😭😭)

Template by @kiwiplaetzchen !!! (Thank you again 😙🫶)

Family

Mousey is the youngest of four brothers. Clyde, Lachlan, and Magnus.

His three big brothers have long since moved out of the McGregor house, going on to become very successful each in their own ways. They were all sorted into Ravenclaw, and were all part of the Ravenclaw Quidditch team at some point in time.

Mousey's mother - Florence McGregor (née Prewett) - is Leander Prewett's father's sister (so Leander's aunt lol). She was sorted into Gryffindor!

Mousey's father - Fergus McGregor - was sorted into Slytherin when he attended Hogwarts. Naturally, he is very prideful and ambitious - oftentimes (accidentally) placing pressure on his sons to pursue things that are not in their interest to impact the family legacy in a meaningful way. Fergus genuinely cares for his sons, he's just unaware of the effect his words have on their psyche. 🙁

Fergus McGregor was a keeper for the Montrose Magpies for 3 years before Magnus was born, and after that he decided to settle down for good. Quidditch was his passion, and he was ecstatic when all his sons shared the same love for it.

The McGregors have resided in Irondale for generations! They have a quite small house for a large family - but fret not, it's bigger than it looks on the outside.

Mousey is 5 years younger than the brother closest in age to him - Clyde - while his three older brothers are each only about two years apart from each other. This feeds into Mousey feeling like an outcast in his own family. (Clyde - 20, Lachlan - 22, Magnus - 24)

Life Before Fifth Year

Growing up, Mousey had always been an exceptionally anxious AND impulsively loud child, so he found it was a miracle he made friends with Anne Sallow during his first week at Hogwarts. Anne was always terribly kind to him, helping him out when he needed a shoulder to lean on, giving him lots of encouragement - which he so desperately needed. Anne, being extremely mischievous, self-confident, and empathetic, she made the perfect best friend for Mousey.

Mousey wasn't exactly a permanent addition to the Sallow Twins and Ominis' little group, but they would hang out with Mousey more often than not. Up until fourth year, they were practically his only friends. (We'll get to this in a bit.. 😙)

In order to impress his father - Mousey started training on a broom as soon as he first attended Hogwarts, but his heart was only half in it. Although he was very talented with a broom, it was never a true passion of his.

Speaking of Mousey's true passion - he is deeply fascinated by wandlore/craft. Ever since he recieved his first book on wandcraft at the age of seven, he quickly became entranced by it. Mousey absorbed all the information he possibly could and constantly visited Ollivanders in Hogsmeade in his free time once he was allowed to by the school.

Sometime at the start of fourth-year Sebastian and Mousey got into a HUGE argument that quickly ended their friendship. After this argument occured, Sebastian practically banned Anne and Ominis from speaking or interacting with Mousey in any way out of sheer pettiness 😒. Mousey was heartbroken. While he would swear up and down it did not affect him, he genuinely loved Sebastian, Anne, and Ominis.. losing their friendship was difficult on him. Although, sadness quickly turned to anger and he held a big grudge against Sebastian. After the big fallout, he vowed he didn't need them - immediately going on a quest to make as many friends as possible. And ultimately, he did.. but it never felt the same.

Relationships

Like Milena, I'm planning on creating a separate series of posts going more in-depth with his relationships w/ characters - so take this list of his closest friends!

Ominis Gaunt

Anne Sallow

Milena Chase

Amit Thakkar

Everett Clopton

Andrew Larson

Samantha Dale

Duncan Hobhouse

Garreth Weasley

Leander Prewett

Eric Northcott

Poppy Sweeting

Arthur Plummly

Unnamed Students

Personality

MBTI - ENFP-T

Alignment - Chaotic Neutral

Mousey is a complicated type of extrovert. He grew up constantly fighting for attention - he learned quickly that he needed to be loud and to stand out to be seen. Mousey is the type of person to only want a few close friends, but a large circle. He loves socializing with everyone, typically coming off as very cheery and playful, yet more snarky + sarcastic with people he's more comfortable with. However, he's also very anxious. He's quite the overthinker - yet never exactly thinks ANYTHING through at the same time. He's the epitome of impulsivity.

In addition to him being anxious - Mousey cares too much of what other people think of him, especially the people he loves/looks up to. He finds himself constantly trying to impress his friends and family because he craves external validation to feel good about himself.

Mousey is very sensitive, but can oftentimes be seen as apathetic when it comes to heated moments. He's very much controlled by his emotions and feelings, which has put a strain in a lot of his relationships. Mousey feels emotions more intensely than most of his peers, his mood also being affected by the people around him. (Although when he's not blinded by his own feelings, he is actually very sweet and caring person. 😞)

If there was one word to describe Mousey - NOSY. As a Ravenclaw, he's obviously inclined to want to know as much as he can about anything. With that being said, he's a NASTY gossip. Mousey knows everything about everyone, always around and listening in the background.. 😊

Just like how it is in other parts of Mousey's life, he feels that he's an outlier in his Hogwarts House. Other than being curious and passionate about learning, he isn't as clever as other Ravenclaws - not great at riddles, oftentimes having trouble even entering the common room. So he tries his best to make the best of it, befriending his housemates, joining the quidditch team, etc.

When it comes to being active, he can make an exception for Quidditch - for his father - but other than that, he HATES physical activity. Unfortunately he's a bit on the cowardly side as well. He could be reckless and get a burst of confidence, but in general Mousey is terrified of dueling, sharp things, large creatures, and especially cats. You wouldn't usually catch him out in the Forbidden Forest, or in any of the hamlets far from Irondale.

Additional Fun Facts!

The only people who don't refer to him as 'Mousey' would be Ominis, Imelda, and Milena - all for different reasons.

Mousey actually likes his nickname, not minding it one bit - although, he doesn't remember how he got it.. but even the teachers have called him Mousey since his first year.

He used to have very prominent buck teeth up until he was 13, having them magically fixed (by Anne Sallow) after his big brother Clyde had made fun of them.

Mousey is the Ravenclaw Quidditch Captain and Keeper in sixth-year! 💙

Other than Sebastian, his nemesis at Hogwarts is Charlotte Morrison (whom Milena actually made friends with???). She just really irritates him in a way he can't describe. The feeling is mutual.

He is very close with a lot of the teachers, most notably Professor Fig and Professor Garlick.

Mousey makes wood-carving animals representing the people he loves, and keeps them in his dorm. (Some would be: Ominis - Bat, Anne - Fox, Sebastian - Snake, and the newest addition.. Milena - Eagle 💜 I like to imagine Mousey came to terms with his and Milena's friendship at one point and secretly made her little animal to keep 🥹) No one knows the meanings behind the animals but him. They are his to keep and to protect.

Bi icon 💙💜🩷

Had a crush on Adelaide Oakes in third-year. (his type is blondes I guess?)

Was nearly sorted into Slytherin, but the hat changed it's mind at the last second.

Raphael is the only feline that tolerates Mousey. (And vice versa)

Knows about the Undercroft.

[sapphicromanoffxo]

Tap Down | n.r x w.m

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Wanda Maximoff

Word Count: 3K+

Warnings: Natasha has a penis, semi-public sex, quickie, fingering, praise kink, degrading kink, blow job, face painting (ehe), daddy kink, a bit of edging, Nat being a horny mf, lmk if I missed something

Summary: Wanda decided to enrol herself to a tap dance class, a childhood dream of hers and Natasha had a deep sexual reaction to it.

A/N: so this is based on a request from a friend and I hope I delivered. 🫣

╰┈➤ Masterlist

Taking on the role of being an avenger has been quite a tough journey for Wanda. The tough training alone is physically demanding, but the reward comes from being able to help her team during missions that require her unique powers. To bring some balance to her superhero life, Wanda decided to join a tap dancing class—a dream she had as a kid.

When she was younger, Wanda really wanted to pursue dancing, but life often got in the way. Surprisingly, she managed to fit this interest into her busy life as an avenger, creating a nice break from all the action.

Excitedly sharing her tap dancing plans with Natasha, Wanda was met with a really positive response that warmed her heart. She talked about how, as a child, she used to beg her mom to support her dancing dreams. Natasha, understanding the need for a life outside of avenging, not only cheered Wanda on but also helped her find the best dance class in New York, showing true support for her girlfriend's passions.

Natasha had to take Wanda to her first dancing class because she had a meeting at SHIELD. Wanda was super excited for the day and gave Natasha a kiss goodbye. Carrying her duffle bag, Wanda entered the class with a ton of energy, making it feel like she could light up the whole city.

The class was pretty easy-going. The instructor started with the basics and then gradually moved on to dance sequences, which Wanda really liked. Wanda, being all pumped up, had practised a dance routine in advance in the compound. The instructor noticed her natural talent and let her show off her skills. This made a good impression on the class. Little did Wanda know, Natasha was watching her with proud and bright eyes, happy to see her girlfriend gaining confidence in her newfound talent. A pang of arousal shot through her and is plotting ideas for the night to come.

The first session ended, and Wanda was feeling pumped up and proud of herself. She didn't quite feel the exhaustion in her body due to the excessive training that she's having at the compound. She has to thank her girlfriend for her relentless workout since it's definitely paying off not just during missions, but also in her dance class.

"Wow, you did so good on your solo routine," Natasha complimented as she's approaching Wanda. "I'm not even the only one who was amazed by you, sweetheart."

Feeling suddenly shy, Wanda blushed at her girlfriend's compliment. "Thank you,Natasha. It just comes all natural to me."

Both women made their way to the shower room, and Natasha waited and sat on the nearby bench. Her mind is replaying how relaxed and confident Wanda was in her natural element. It also made her remember her days being a ballerina. Although those days do not bear any good memories so she set them aside and brought her attention back to her little witch.

Unsurprisingly, her dick twitches every time she imagines Wanda's perfect lithe body, under the spray of hot water. Her mind is playing tug of war on whether she should go inside the shower room and have her way with Wanda. However, her thoughts were interrupted by the girl whom she is currently salivating over.

"Natasha. I'm ready."

Freshly showered, Wanda's cheeks were flushed due to the hot water that soothed her muscles. Natasha found it extremely cute and decided to give in to her dirty thoughts.

"Wear your tap shoes for me?" Natasha requested with a twinkle in her eyes.

"Uhh. Why?" Wanda was suddenly perplexed by Natasha's request especially when they were about to go home.

Natasha looked around and was satisfied to see that they were alone. "Do you trust me?"

That question alone is loaded. It got Wanda thinking what is it that Natasha wants to achieve here?

"You know I do." Wanda responded while sitting on the bench to tie back up her tap shoes.

The moment Wanda had finished tying her laces, she was immediately hoisted up by Natasha which made her yelp in surprise and she wrapped her legs around her waist. Wanda will never get over how strong her girlfriend is and takes pleasure in being manhandled. What surprised her even more is when she felt Natasha's bulge touching her ass and can't help but to tease her a bit.

"You're hard already huh?"

A mild slap on Wanda's ass reverberated in the small shower room and her back was planted on the nearby wall.

"You turned me on much. Let me fuck you real quick in here, baby." Natasha whispered in her ear and proceeded in sucking on her neck.

A loud moan came out of Wanda's mouth and had a mild panic when she that they could be heard. She turned on the shower head with her magic so the sound of water hitting the floor will cover up her moans.

Natasha made a quick move to pull down her zipper as her dick is aching to be set free. Wanda flicked her wrist to help her girlfriend be free of the confines of her pants and boxer shorts so they can get going with their quickie. Thankfully, Wanda was only wearing a skirt and Natasha pulled her panties to the side. The widow didn't even check if Wanda was wet enough for her and immediately penetrated her hole in one swift thrust.

With her back arched against the wall, Wanda moaned sinfully at the sudden intrusion of Natasha's big dick and oh, the burn felt so damn good and would never complain by being fucked like this.

"Natasha!"

Ofcourse Wanda is already wet and would not need any foreplay to stimulate her. Natasha felt satisfaction within her core knowing that her baby can be easily fucked and would be so pliant for her.

"That's my good girl, so wet for me."

Wanda held on Natasha's shoulders as she felt her back hitting the wall with each forceful thrust. She knew Natasha would never drop her ass and her tap shoes are click clacking behind Natasha.

For some reason, the sounds of Wanda's shoes are turning Natasha on even more and doubled her efforts in pistoning her dick inside Wanda's pussy.

The wet sounds of Wanda's pussy can still be heard despite the sound of water running and Natasha continued her rough pounding by gripping Wanda's hips.

"Detka, I'm not going to last long. Your pussy feels so good around me." Natasha growled as she continued pushing Wanda into her orgasm.

With her eyes rolled back, and mouth wide open, Wanda couldn't even respond and only whined loudly to convey how much she loves it when Natasha talks to her like that.

Both of their orgasms are climbing high and their combined moans can be surely heard outside but couldn't give a fuck if anyone can hear them. Natasha latched her lips on Wanda's and kissed her intensely.

"Natasha, I'm cumming!" Wanda screamed while her legs shook violently, her shoes bumping to each other making sounds simultaneously.

"Me too,baby. Gonna fill you up real good."

Wanda grabbed on Natasha's biceps as she felt the white spurts of cum being unloaded inside her. Both women are breathing heavily after the intense quickie and Wanda's thighs are now feeling the strain of being held for too long against the wall.

Natasha pulled out her dick from Wanda's pussy and the witch pouted at the loss. "I want you to be inside me forever."

Chuckling at Wanda's dramatics, Natasha brought her down gently and tested first if Wanda can stand up properly.

"You good?"

"Yeah, my thighs and calves are now sore to be honest."

Wanda felt Natasha's cum ooze out of her pussy and a small drop landed on her shoes. Oops. She wiped it off at the back of her calf before Natasha noticed it and smiled wickedly at what she had done.

"Let's head home, I need to properly fuck you."

***

When they were on their way home, Natasha could not keep her hands on the wheels and ended up fingering Wanda. Wanda was sitting in an awkward position with her back resting on the door, her legs wide open and her pussy being fucked relentlessly by Natasha's talented fingers.

This is a testament on how good Natasha is in multi-tasking. Navigating through the streets of New York with practice ease and at every red light, she would lean down to suck Wanda's throbbing clit only to be edged once the traffic light turns green.

"Fuck, Natasha!" Wanda whined loudly after the third time of being falsely led to the brink of her orgasm.

The devil that she is while her three fingers are still inside Wanda, Natasha only chuckled at her girlfriend's frustrated state.

"Relax, detka. Let Daddy play with you."

Natasha then continued toying with Wanda's pussy, pushing her fingers deeper and making sure to hit the spongy spot that makes Wanda's eyes roll at the back of her head.

"Oh my fucking god, N-Natasha! Don't stop, don't stop!" Wanda pleaded as she's nearing her orgasm again, she can feel the tightening sensation deep in her stomach, she's focusing on reaching her high so she'll be put out of misery from being edged.

Just a few seconds more, Wanda chanted in her head and right when she knew she's about to finally let go, with her orgasm building and nearing its end point, Natasha purposely pulled out her fingers all together which made Wanda scream in frustration.

"What the fuck, Natasha?!" Wanda raised her left foot and was ready to kick Natasha's shoulder, still with her tap shoes on,but ofcourse Natasha caught it easily with her right hand and placed it on the back of her instead, effectively trapping her leg from moving.

With Wanda's current position, Natasha can clearly see how Wanda's pussy was glistening. Her dick twitched painfully inside her pants and was dying to be freed once again and to be buried deep inside Wanda's aching cunt.

"Patience, my love. You know that I will never leave you unsatisfied. Just wait until we reach the compound, okay? For now, behave for me."

Wanda huffed in response and rolled her eyes at her girlfriend. At this point there's really nothing else she could do than have her pussy be openly ogled at Natasha. But she's racking her brain on how to get back at Natasha somehow and much to her delight, an idea came into her mind. She estimated that they'll probably reach the compound in less than five minutes and knew can pull off her wicked plan. She carefully removed her trapped foot behind Natasha's head and sat properly this time around with both of her legs stretched out in the passenger's legs space.

Natasha glanced to her right, contemplating whether she have pushed Wanda too far and she was ready to reassure her even more that she'll be thoroughly fucked when they get home. What she saw instead was Wanda, with her eyes closed, biting her lips while her right hand was dipping lower and lower until it reached her pussy.

"What are you doing?" Natasha asked.

Wanda opted not to respond and moaned instead as her 2 fingers played with her sensitive clit, the smallest and lightest touch got her insides trembling. Touching herself while Natasha was literally inches away from her was something that she would never do, but the moment called for it and she decided to go with it. She heard Natasha groan beside her and that encouraged her to continue teasing her clit, she's really not planning to orgasm. There is no harm in playing with her girlfriend, right?

"Stop what you're doing." Natasha warned and Wanda only smirked at her reaction.

"But I wanted to cum, and you would not let me so I will do it myself instead." Wanda responded defiantly and inserted 2 fingers in her pussy.

The clenching wet sounds of Wanda's cunt filled the car which does not help the current boner Natasha has. She hit the gas even more, the engine roaring angrily throughout the busy street, eager to reach the compound so she could punish her girl for her bratty behavior.

Wanda's heart was beating erratically from both the desperate need to cum and the way Natasha was so focused on driving to the point she was no longer speaking and would not spare a glance at her. She moaned loudly when her fingers hit her g-spot but was feeling unsatisfied with the inconsistent flow of pleasure since only Natasha can make her see stars behind her eyes. She then later noticed that they had reached the garage of the compound. Natasha immediately climbed out of the car, opened the passenger's door and yanked Wanda out of her seat.

"You're too desperate to cum when I have just given you one in the shower room." Natasha growled behind Wanda's ears and pushed her to walk towards the car's trunk.

"Sluts like you deserve to be punished, don't you think?'

Wanda found herself being bent over, her arms twisted behind her and her chest resting on the trunk's spoiler. She whimpered at how she was manhandled but damn it, she likes it when Natasha is rough with her.

Belt unbuckled and zippers down, Natasha brought down her pants, not even bothering on removing it all the way off her feet. She spanked Wanda's left cheek three times for good measure and barked a command, "Open your legs wider, Princess."

The witch complied easily, eager to feel Natasha's cock inside her again. She didn't have to wait any longer when Natasha snapped her hips forward, penetrating her aching core with forceful thrust. It's as if today was one of those days where there was no time for foreplay and go straight to fucking.

"Your cock feels so good inside me."

"Oh yeah? I bet your fingers could not compare to this, huh?" Natasha taunted Wanda while perfectly giving her a backbreaking pounding and the sound of slapping flesh echoes throughout the open space of the garage.

"Jesus fuck, Wanda. Your pussy is clinging on my cock tightly. I can barely move." Natasha pulled her cock all the way out and reached her left palm towards Wanda's face. "Spit."

Wanda did so and spit a good amount of saliva on Natasha's palm which she lathered up to the tip of her cock for an added lubrication.

"Good girl."

Natasha buried her veiny shaft once again and this time, it's gentle and slow, wanting to feel more of Wanda's velvety walls hugging her lengthy cock. Her pace increased with each grunts to which Wanda welcomed wholeheartedly, driving her closer to her orgasm.

"I can't stop thinking about you, dancing on that tight dancing dress you've got. Fuck!"

"You're gonna make me cum!" Wanda whimpered desperately at what Natasha had said while also chasing the high that she's been wanting after being edged minutes ago.

"I knew I have to fuck you right after, you're so good baby. So fucking good." With great restraint and control, Natasha had to focus deeply to stop herself from cumming and spilling her seeds inside Wanda since she had different plans for her second orgasm. "You can cum now, baby. Give it to me."

Not waiting for a second longer, Wanda's juices coated Natasha's cock even more from the climax that was finally granted to her, and stars were swimming behind her eyes as she catches her breath from coming down the high. She then noticed that Natasha had stopped moving behind her and had already pulled out her shaft; it is evident that she has not ejaculated yet.

"Natasha?"

The woman only hummed in response and roughly pulled Wanda into a kneeling position, facing her dick which was slightly hitting her face.

"Suck."

Oh. Wanda understood right away what Natasha wanted and took the whole length in her mouth effortlessly. Giving Natasha a blowjob after she had her orgasm is one of her favorite things to do since she knows what's going to happen next.

"Ohh, that's it, sweet girl. Your mouth is so warm around me."

Natasha praised her girl while gently thrusting her hips forward, wanting to feel the tip of her cock hit the back of Wanda's throat. The moment it did, she held Wanda's head and this time, she's not being gentle and was forcing Wanda to gag on her dick.

In a swift motion, Natasha pulled out her meat and pumped it aggressively in front of Wanda's gaping mouth, "Shit, shit! I'm gonna cum!" Her thick semen landed on Wanda's face, and some went down her tongue, and lips. She made sure that every drop of her cum has been pumped out and panting heavily after.

Natasha looked down at her girl, who was currently using her fingers to gather the spurts of cum in her face and licked them clean with her tongue. The sight alone had her dick going hard again.

"Holy shit Wan—", her sentence was interrupted when FRIDAY' voice filled the room, making the two women jump.

"Agent Romanoff, Miss Maximoff. My sincere apologies for the interruption but Mr. Stark will be heading down soon and will be here in a minute or so."

The AI's warning was subtle yet clear, a silent reprimand for them to say that they should get the hell out of the place before both of them get caught in a very uncompromising position.

Natasha scrambled to put her pants up, thanking the lucky stars that she had decided to not fully remove them from her ankles.

Wanda on the other hand was horrified at their current predicament of being on the verge of getting caught, had it been without FRIDAY's warning, she might have taken Natasha's shaft in her mouth again.

"Oh my god!" Wanda exclaimed in a panic. "Let's get out of here, Tash."

Remaining composed and relaxed, Natasha simply smiled and reassured, "Relax, baby. We're okay. You've got nothing to worry about. We'll just walk nicely and act like nothing happened."

Trusting her girlfriend's calm demeanor, Wanda nodded and allowed herself to be guided by Natasha. They expectedly ran into Tony, who greeted them, "Ladies, I hope you had a good drive in the city." His gaze focused on Wanda, who was hiding behind Natasha, and he frowned at her unusual behavior, then noticed something.

"What's that on your hair, Wanda?" Tony inquired naively.

Natasha answered for Wanda without any shame in the world, "That's my cum. Bye, Tony." She dragged Wanda out of the garage, leaving Tony with his mouth hanging open.

[caputvulpinum]

my latest tabletop characters in chronological order:

-17 year old orphaned anarchist guild leader who ends up apotheosing as the god of their homeland and ends up taking the throne to rebuild it after an apocalyptic disaster

-farmboy becomes a soldier in a war against a double-apocalypse, fucks up some invading fairies hard and gets captured as a war trophy, spends the next 400 years in fairyland before the moon says she likes his vibe and breaks him out by turning him into a furry and giving him ultimate cosmic power, which he mostly uses to act as the ethics babysitter for a godlich whose special interest is civil engineering.

-fairy princess eldritch wildlife biologist whose mom is basically titania. it was a very complicated relationship for like 14 levels and it took literal reality-altering magic rituals to start fixing their relationship. she hates the anarchist aforementioned bc hes 17.

-perfect prettygirl daughter of social climbing mother is predestined to inherit the ultimate cosmic powers of becoming part of heaven's secret police. theres two factions of the secret police and she hates both of them.

-rich frat jock gains insight into the hidden occult world and immediately uses it to start a homoerotic frat/dinner club dedicated to shapeshifting and blood sacrifice. snip snip snip

-prometheus got turned into a fairy. a girl who makes things explode with her mind and her friends turned him into a different kind of fairy. then he became her dad. he also accidentally used his fairy mind control powers to cause a global anarcho-communist insurrection due to going viral on international news. 1 billion people were actively mind controlled by it. he was not allowed on tv again but he did get a twitter

-genetically engineered soldier wolfboy has his furry polycule fireclade KIA by a gay sexy pirate and then gets saved by a ghost space whale. he then does war crimes and everyone is soooo mean to him but hes soooo sad about it. and then he performs lobotomy on himself and implants his negative emotions into a shackled AI god which loves him and hunted down his best friend and soul mate to be her service animal.

-a wizard in a mech keeps trying to infiltrate the gay space gnostics and they keep telling him no. then he gets corrupted by the logic plague because he saw the name of god and has ultrasurgery performed on him with the help of a team of hyperqualified shackled AI gods and a mad doctor who has been trying to create anti-god supersoldiers and he was the first success. and the gnostics immediately wanted his cock onboard their snake ship. he never experienced consequences for any of his actions:)

-girl from a noble family of divine heroes is very very late to inheriting divine herodom and has soooo many opinions about this. she spent the last 6 months hunting down a weird fairy with some new friends and spent the first 5 of them pretending to be stupid jock so they wouldnt bother her. she has been trying to eat the fairy this entire time but it hasnt been working yet.

-a werewolf who is big and brown and hypermasculine gets turned into a werewolf and freaks out bc apparently everything supernatural is real and he was weird for not believing in any of it. he totally doesn't have any body image issues due to being a big hypermasculine brown man with anger/resentment issues and he is totally fine with how everyone assumes he's just a stupid violent meathead despite being a trained EMT actively going back to med school for his doctorate. he literally went to a supernatural therapist to vent about lycanthropy and got scared when she did actual therapy on him. he's so in his head about how everyone interprets him as Big Scary Brown Man that he doesnt realize he's drowning in transgender dogs who are actively barking for his attention. he would put on a collar and not realize its a sex thing. a spooky nightingale told him it saw him from across the ghost forest and liked his vibes because he was a murderer

[donutwatches]

MHA 3.3 - Kota - part 1/3

This is a watch-a-long blog, so no spoilers past this episode please!

Didn't he already do that last season? Did I imagine that? I love that his training is creating the perfect bath temperature.

Apparently Midoriya's training is getting beaten up by a furry. I wonder what he is going to tell his Mom when she asked him what he got up to at summer camp? "Well...there were these park rangers dressed as cats".

What would class 1A do without Iida keeping it together 24/7? Everyone is dead on their feet, but Iida is like "Look alive people, we're about to make the greatest curry of all time".

HIS TINY SMILE. This was a small detail, but it was so moving. Just lighting a fire for cookin and making his classmates smile made him happy. In seasons 1&2 he was so shut off socially.

He is finding out that the part of his quirk that he rejected and hated for so long can help people, and that he can use it in a positive way.

Momo's power comes from food! She can make weapons from her body by eating cake, what a dream.

"It's like poo". Sero, noooooo! Why did he have to make it gross? lol

There is a full doozy essay incoming. I went ham. So don't click 'keep reading' unless you actually want to keep READING.

What Kota says in this episode got me spiraling into essay territory. Kota's point of view has helped a lot of MHA's themes click into place for me, but these thoughts have been brewing for me since season 1.

Categorizing people and placing labels on them can lead to dehumanization. The 'villain' label makes people who commit crimes less than human, and the 'hero' label elevates people into being more than human. Either way, dehumanizing people has consequences, and in Kota's perspective, it got his parents killed.

Someone labeled as a 'villain' can think, well I'm already called a villain, I might as well act that way. Someone labelled as a 'hero' is pressured to live up to being put on a pedestal, and that can lead to failure, or hypocrisy (like Endeavor's outside hero image conflicting with behind closed doors abuse).

The villains versus heroes narrative feeds a cycle where they are in perpetual competition with each other to negative results for the community. As if crime and justice are the same as competing sports teams, like red team vs blue team. This leads to what Kota says, "they're all showing off", and end up "killing each other".

I have had jobs where I worked with kids, and I saw social labeling play out. Some kids got labeled as 'trouble makers'. The kids saw that they got attention for challenging behavior, and it got worse. I have heard a kid state "I'm a bad kid" outright, and they internalized that as part of their identity. It is hard to undo the damage.

It reminds me of Shinso from last season, as an example of a teen being labeled a villain by his peers. He fought hard to reject being put in that category, but many real life teens don't escape the labeling.

There are also kids that get singled out as 'golden children'. These kids feel pressured to be perfect, and can struggle with their flawed human identity not matching their 'golden' reputation.

Bakugo is an example of an over-praised kid that develops a superiority complex. He is insecure about not being the best, because he was categorized as 'the best' at age five. I think 'troublemaker' versus 'golden child' is a small scale version of the 'villain' versus 'hero' in MHA.

These categories lead us to making blanket assumptions about individuals who fit the right image. All might is the symbol of peace, so he must be perfect, right? But the show reveals that All Might, while he is a good man, is a flawed human being. We see him struggling to upkeep the shiny symbol he has created, at the cost of his health and social life.

I wonder if MHA is going to explore a villain that could have been a good citizen, but got trapped by how society has cornered them into a 'villain' labeled box? I think this might be the major theme of the entire story. I've cracked it, I can stop here, I don't even need to watch anymore episodes, bye! ;p

"My friend", ok Deku, you're not fooling anyone.

The starry night backgrounds in this scene are beautiful!

This montage of Midoriya trying to force a quirk to happen almost killed me.

It takes me back to the 1st episode where Deku's opening line is "we are not all created equal", and the episode shows us both him and Bakugo being put into opposite social boxes based on their quirks.

Deku was labeled bad/useless because he was quirkless, and this flashback underlines how much it hurt him, but he was saved by how strongly he held to his ideals of heroism. That is the positive flip side of the 'hero' label. It gave Deku something to look up to and live for.

Kota isn't ready to accept that rejecting the realities of hero society is going to be more painful in the long run. He is too little, and trying to process so much grief, it breaks my heart.

What also breaks my heart, is that Deku is speaking from experience. He has lived quirkless in a hero society, and rejecting the reality of his quirkless-ness back then caused him a lot of hurt too.

This is such a great exchange. MHA doesn't do a lot of quieter character building moments, but this talk between Kota and Deku was so good.

Part 2 is here

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[xkseii]

⎮Just One Drop⎮

⏤ Characters: Sakusa Kiyoomi⎮reader

⏤ Including: nsfw (-17)

⏤ Warnings: vampire! Sakusa, bottom! Sakusa, top! Male reader, implied athletic/tall/buff! Male reader, blood mention, injuries, virgin Sakusa who almost never touches himself; may do a part two. Not proofread, I have no brain for that, this whole fic is a mess ngl-

⏤ Summary: Finding your mate and sharing a bit too strong bond.

⏤ 6.400 words

Itachiyama, a private school in Tokyo, and somewhere you dreamed to go to.

It was known to have a lot of athletic clubs, the best equipment, support for the students and a foreign exchange program. Though it was available every year, not many students had the opportunity to get accepted, as it was extremely selective.

And it was because of its same exchange program that you got the opportunity to join this school for, at least, a year. Possibly more if you proved yourself good enough. This opportunity was the greatest you could have. You were currently in a public school, which wasn't bad in itself, and you liked it, but knowing that you could spend a year somewhere much better, who were you to not take this chance.

The program was offered only for students that were part of a sports club, had good results and were recommended by their teachers. Though, this part did not matter much, as it was only showing how much you were valued.

Thankfully for you, and your hard work, you ended up fitting in with their requirements, more or less without surprise. Compared to Itachiyama, your school didn't have much money to spend on clubs, and you couldn't enjoy the sport as much as you wanted to. But with this program, you may be able to train with a real coach, learn more, and know how it feels to have a real team.

So, without any more hesitation, you accepted to leave your country for Tokyo, along with one of your friends.

And only a month later, you were on a plane, going to Japan and joining Itachiyama Institute as a third-year student.

Without any surprise, you were welcomed nicely by some teachers and a few students, which were all more than kind and lovely. There was no doubt that the school chose the calmest and sweetest student to give a good image from the start.

That's how you met Motoya Komori, another third-year who was in the volleyball club, and he quickly became a good friend. The next day, he took the time to show you the city, explaining how everything was working for your first days here, and the time spent helped you to bond together and create a great friendship.

Perhaps it was a surprise for you, but all the students from the exchange program including you became rather popular, as you were for most foreigners and athletes, you fitted right in the standards of this school.

Fortunately, everything was going well. Your first month has been perfect in every way. Despite now living in a whole new country, and only knowing a bit about it, you manage to meet multiple people, get a few friends, some close ones too and joined the club you loved the most.

Unsurprisingly, you weren't the best player here, as you did not get the opportunity to have a coach or a clear routine before. But now, it was the moment to enjoy and improve yourself, you were still an over-average player and training with a good team could only help you. A strong motivation takes over, wishing to become better and be a regular.

As days passed, you gained some habits from this new lifestyle, as every morning you spend time with friends from your class, and then for the rest of the day, you would be with your club members or Komori and his friends, now yours too.

For a reason that was unknown to you, Komori was always busy in the morning and couldn't be with anyone, same for when he was finishing his practice with the volleyball club, he never had the time to do anything after. You never tried to pry into it, as it wouldn't be respectful, and it was normal for him to have things to do. Simply, you just grow curious about why he was so secretive about it, though, you did nothing to find out.

Honestly, you forgot about it for a long while, until you saw him one morning walking into the school, a guy next to him.

This someone was surely a third-year too, they seemed really close, and you couldn't help but feel curious. This unknown person, you guessed was a man with the name Komori pronounced, was rather attractive, also catching your eye by how different he was from your friend.

Komori was someone always joyful, excited, extremely friendly and liked by most people, while this guy was the complete opposite of what you were seeing. He was wearing a mask, no sign of happiness could be found on his face, nor any other emotions except annoyance and tiredness.

Compared to your friend, he was not greeting anyone, not talking or barely a full sentence while replying to Komori, and would not try in any way to interact with any person, or simply ignore everyone. You had no clear idea of who he was, or what was his full name, but he managed to stay in your mind for a long while.

In the following days, you would notice him everywhere you were going, unable to ignore him or not recognize him from afar. With his black curly hair that looked extremely soft, the mask he was wearing, hiding his features except for some, like the two moles on the right of his forehead, and his aura, he was easily seen.

It was driving you crazy. 

How effortlessly your eyes were drawn toward him. There was no reason for it that you were aware of, but it was as if something was enchanting you toward him. 

You still did not know who he was, and yet, he was occupying your mind, magnetic and hypnotizing for you, catching your attention and poisoning your mind. For no reason, you couldn’t stop thinking about him and especially did not want to think about him particularly. It was a strange and bothersome feeling, being thrown toward someone so hard, but not even knowing anything about them that could explain it all. 

Days passed, and this odd attraction did not stop one bit. The most frustrating was that you were the only one sensing it, never once, he looked at you. Though it should be normal, something inside of you was annoyed to not end because of this. After all, you were nobody for him, and he was nobody for you. 

Thankfully for you, the next week, you never saw him once. And so, you almost forgot about him until today. At lunch, as you were eating with everyone and joking around, talking about the last practice or your classes, Komori suddenly started to act strangely. He would blush and stutter while talking, which was far from his usual self. You saw how most were sending him a sweet smile and motioning for him to say something, leaving you confused. 

For some more minutes, he stayed silent, looking blankly at his empty plate, until his head suddenly shot up. With a bashful grin, he offered you to come to his practice this afternoon, to watch him and maybe do something after together. In amusement, you watched as his cheeks turn a deeper shade of red, Komori looking away in embarrassment at his sudden outburst. 

As curious as you were about volleyball and what Komori’s practice looked like, you accepted quickly, as refusing was not an option for you. And genuinely, you never saw him brighten up this quickly, his smile was blinding, to say the least, it could be compared to the sun at this moment. Komori looked so excited and happy that he was jumping on his chair, the others looking at the two of you amused. Soon enough, it was time to go back to class and after patting your back, everyone left after the bell rang. 

The hours passed rapidly, you barely even remember when you started the second class of the afternoon, or when the bell rang and everyone left, either to go home or to their club. At this point, you were moving on autopilot, noticing last second how you were standing in front of your gymnasium and not the volleyball team’s one, making you sigh. 

You walked alone to the other gymnasium, making sure it was the one Komori told you about, this time, before going in its direction. Carefully following the path, you look up a split second from your phone, and you see him. Here he was, waiting outside the building with his back resting against the wall, the same man living rent-free in your mind for more than 2 weeks. 

Thankfully, he was too busy on his phone to notice you pass by him, you opened the door in haste and entered the gymnasium. Even though you only saw him for some seconds, the sudden pressure you felt before the door closed behind you sent shivers up your spine. Your hands were still shaking as your body was screaming at you to run away. You took some seconds to inhale deeply, calming yourself down to not cause a scene before stepping forward. 

As he was quietly waiting for Komori, Kiyoomi was pulled out of his thoughts by the sounds of steps going toward him, he already felt annoyed, sure that he was one of his teammates. Turn out he was wrong, as the person did not even stop, and thankfully, only passed by him without a word.

But then, it hit him, the sweet scent he has been smelling continuously these last weeks. His grip around his phone tightened, all his muscles tensing as he resisted the urge to just yank you toward him and feed. It was such torture when he felt your eyes on him, only wanting to look back at you, but you kept walking as if he wasn’t there. 

He barely had the time to look back before the door closed behind you, the view of your nape and shoulders, along with the shape of your upper back graved into his mind, making his mouth water. He tried so hard to find who was smelling so sweetly for weeks, to no avail, and here you were, showing up like it was nothing. How could you not be aware of him and what you were doing to him, it was insane. 

He was tempted to run after you, just to get a longer time to enjoy your smell, but sadly, his cousin showed up at the same. And unfortunately, he was forced to push to the back of his mind his thoughts about you, or everything that he imagined he could do. Rapidly looking suspiciously at his cousin as he seemed much happier than usual, and then, when a smelled a whip of your smell on Komori, his eye twitched. Did you two know each other? 

Kiyoomi couldn’t help but wonder what was making you so attractive. Perhaps it was your scent, the sweetness of your blood, or how you were cleaner than the rest, the remaining scent of your body wash and shampoo still on you, even after a long day. He knew it sounded creepy, but his need to feed was taking over his senses, and something deep within him was calling, craving for you. Despite all his efforts, he couldn’t help but fantasize about you. And knowing that his cousin could be close to you, made him feel especially annoyed for an unknown reason. In the end, you were always on his mind. 

Stepping inside the gymnasium, you were thankful to recognize some players, you took the time to greet some of them whom you knew through Komori’s acquaintances, before sitting in the bleachers. At the same moment, Komori and the guy from earlier came in, one looking overly excited and the other annoyed to no end. It was strange how he looked so upset but also so close to your friend. 

Someone from the team yelled “Kiyoomi” and you watched as the man’s head shot up, sending a death glare to the too-joyful player. It seemed like your guess was right, he should be a third-year too since the player called him “senpai”. Though you were only sure of his last name and age, and still knew nothing more. At least, it’s a good start, maybe if you learn more about him, you’ll manage to get him out of your mind, as ignoring him was not working. 

Soon enough, the practice started, and you tried your best to find and watch Komori. Despite your efforts, trying so hard to focus on your friend, your eyes were always drawn back on Kiyoomi, each movement hypnotizing you. 

You couldn’t help but observe him with curiosity, almost forgetting about Komori, that was looking over you at that moment, disappointed that your eyes weren’t on him. In silence, he followed your gaze, curious about who you were so focused on, only to find out that you were watching his cousin. He felt his heart being crushed when he saw you with the eyes of someone who was a bit too interested in someone that was not him. 

What pissed him off the most, was how Kiyoomi was acting. He seemed nervous, and clearly destabilized because he was feeling your eyes on him. The light blush on his cheeks was even more annoying, especially when it worsens after the quick look he would take whenever you weren’t watching him anymore. Komori felt his patience run out, not only his cousin had to get interested in his crush, but he managed to get your attention too.

He was going to turn around to focus back on the game, too fuming to watch much longer until he saw his eyes. Komori felt his blood run cold when he witnessed Kiyoomi’s pupils shaking violently, expanding and narrowing rapidly without any control. In a panic, he called a time-out immediately, taking his cousin by the arm, and dragging him away to the changing room without another word, leaving everyone puzzled. 

The players, despite being confused, decided to grab their water and relax until the two came back to the court. One of them, that was your friend, called you down, wanting to introduce you to the rest of the team, excited like a cute child. He quickly explained who you are, that you came because of the exchange program and were really talented in the sport you were practising. 

Without any surprise, you hit off with all of them rapidly, immediately feeling welcomed and appreciated. You could only enjoy how easygoing they were and how simple it was to have a nice discussion with them, the gloomy mood becoming more joyful and light-hearted. 

With your arm thrown over a second year’s shoulders, you relish in the good ambience, almost forgetting about Komori and Kiyoomi. Softly laughing at a dumb joke a player was saying, you felt more comfortable than ever with them. You almost did not notice your friend come out of the changing room, alone this time, looking much calmer and relaxed than earlier. 

Not mentioning what just happened, he joined the discussion as if everything was fine, standing next to you, close enough to be able to whisper some jokes about the players in your ear. Though everything was going well, you could still feel Komori glance at you anxiously, despite his calm and collected act, something seemed wrong. 

Some long minute passed before the intriguing man came back, Kiyoomi finally got out of the changing room and joined the rest of the team, just next to you. Though, Komori quickly placed himself between you and him, putting his hand on your shoulder before introducing you, making you discover that they were cousins. 

It was making much more sense now, as you could understand why they were extremely close and often together even though it seemed like one of the two did not like the other around him. 

Komori took a quick glance at you, not saying anything. Normally, you try to shake hands as a greeting. But thankfully for you, a while ago you noticed how Kiyoomi was avoiding every skin-to-skin contact with absolutely everyone. So instead, you simply bowed, hoping it was enough. 

Thankfully for you, you noticed a while ago how he was avoiding every skin-to-skin contact with anyone, so you didn't try to shake his hand, but simply bowed. You spotted from the corner of your eye how Komori exhaled in relief, knowing how Kiyoomi would have lost it if you touched him without washing your hands or putting on hand sanitiser.

Glad that the incident has been avoided without him needing to intervene, he started talking to you, being the one mostly holding the discussion going. He kept standing in between you and his cousin, pushing him to the side little by little discreetly.

You could see how it was annoying Kiyoomi, and he was starting to lose his patience. The tense atmosphere was making you feel more and more uncomfortable, the situation not getting better in the slightest, so you decided to tell Komori that they should start practising again, as they lost a bit too much time already.

He blushed in embarrassment, and apologized immediately, motioning for Kiyoomi and the rest of the team to go back on the court. As he walked away, the black-haired male was still standing in front of you, eyes piercing through yours with an unrecognizable expression on his face. And then, he left without another word, his shoulder brushing against yours as he almost gently pushed you to the side.

During the rest of the practice, the game changed as he was looking at you, and you were looking somewhere else. You could feel his eyes on you, but you tried your best to focus on the rest of the players instead, despite the burning feeling on the side of your head and neck.

You could see Komori being annoyed at his cousin's behaviour and almost calling him out in the middle of the game, hiding his anger, which was in reality jealousy and kept acting strange.

The tense atmosphere between the two was distracting, especially you that was observing from afar, and you were unable to keep track of what was happening when the two guys were staring down at each other. The other players were awkward too, and the training session was cut short, unexpectedly stopping one hour earlier than usual.

You took the opportunity to exchange numbers with the rest of the players, some of them inviting you to upcoming parties or for lunch. You enjoyed your time with them, meanwhile, Komori and Kiyoomi had already disappeared from the court. You barely had the time to see them get out of the changing room, freshly showered and dressed in their school attire as Komori bids you goodbye, followed by a short apology as he drags Kiyoomi away, whose eyes weren't leaving yours.

That peculiar tension disappeared the moment he stepped out of the building and was out of your sight. It left you shivering, a foreign urge, a nameless craving bubbling deep into your stomach, mind, and heart. It leaves you gasping for air as if something just punched you in the stomach.

The same night, as you were finally home, laying down on your bed with your eyes closed, you felt it, this other presence in the back of your mind. It was subtle, too subtle for you to make anything about it, but it was here. Though the tiredness took over your body, your mind fell into an endless void, unknowingly going straight into his trap. And then, he was here again, the same captivating face and enchanting eyes staring down at you. It was luring you in, making you step forward until you were close enough for him to grab your face, bringing you into a heated kiss.

Everything went too quickly, and before you knew it, the blood in your veins was boiling up, almost as if electricity was going through them. Your legs and core were burning up, tensed and overwhelmed by everything that was happening, this delirious dream driving you mad. It seemed so realistic, you could feel his warmth, smell him and touch him. You couldn't resist the temptation as you held into his waist, bringing him closer and sliding your leg in between his. The moan he lets out was resonating in your mind, echoing through the white void of your imagination.

Your brain was screaming at you to get away, push him and snap out of it, but you weren't able to, too focused on his lips and his taste. The same magnetic aura made your mind go blank, forgetting what you were thinking about the second before.

Kiyoomi smirked at your reaction, wrapping his hands around your neck, his nails digging into your skin to have you even closer, trapping you in his hold. One of his hands slowly danced down, tugging on the shirt you were wearing, exposing more skin as he had the opportunity to move down and gently bite your neck and shoulder.

Everything was too tempting, and he couldn't help but lick the side of your neck, searching for the softest part. He looked down at you, mouth still wide open until his fangs touched the side of your neck, and his mouth closed suddenly onto you, like a predator jumping on its prey.

It hurt so bad at first, your skin was burning, as if someone threw you in a pit of fire. But slowly, the pain subdued, a strange sensation being left behind, your pain and pleasure being twice stronger. You were confused about what was happening, while Kiyoomi was completely high on the taste and satisfaction he felt.

It was certain now, he had found his mate, your linked sensations and dreams were the proof of it. He could feel the pain on his neck as he bites you, his own hands copying you when you cup his face, trying to tug him off. Kiyoomi know how rare it is to get a link this powerful, but he didn't mind it one bit, he was not even expecting to meet his mate one day, and yet, it happened.

The only frustrating part was that everything was happening in your minds only. For now, the link was temporary and would disappear within a few days.

He needed to see you again.

He sensed you grow more frantic, desperately to get him off as now, the bite was really painful. As gently as he could, he opened his mouth, his fangs slowly retracting from your delicious flesh. The smell of your blood was still tantalizing him, but Kiyoomi needed to be patient, it was useless to rush things.

When finally the pain disappeared, you were able to breathe correctly again, fear leaving your mind. Even though it was not real and this guy couldn't harm you, the threat of sucking you dry or killing you was still on the back of your mind. Deep down, you were aware that he never threatened you, and the whole atmosphere didn't feel like he wanted to harm you… especially with how his body was reacting.

His hands were still on your jaw and shoulder, thumb softly caressing your skin, lips colliding soon after. Kiyoomi keep peppering kisses all over your neck, nuzzling against you as he enjoyed the scent of your perfume and blood.

Curious, you look down to observe him, his red eyes catching your attention. In a beautiful way, his pupils were overtaking the colour, blending into a deeper shade, only adding to the profoundness of his eyes. Despite behaving so sweetly, he looked high and mad, with remaining blood on the corner of his lips, staining his skin.

His tongue darted out, licking the blood off with an expression of pure ecstasy, swallowing with great pleasure. His lips parted to let out a sinful moan, showing off his long and pointed fangs, and the urge to taste you again get stronger.

Before he could try to touch you again though, you slapped his hand away, mind clearing up as you took a step back, putting some distance between you and him. He tried to go after you, his hand reaching for your shoulder. Kiyoomi was only some centimetres away before everything went black, and you woke up. His frustrated and disappointed face echoed in your mind as everything disappeared around you, the ground vanished and let you fall endlessly. 

You woke up after this, the fall in your dream forced you awake. You were panting and sweating profusely, your heart beating erratically, still unable to process everything that you just dreamed of. But you weren’t so sure if it was a dream anymore, as you could feel your neck burning and hurting, and after checking in the mirror, your body was covered in red nail marks. They were on your neck, clearly recently made and far too similar to the place Kyoomi was holding you for this to be a coincidence. 

You felt sick, your mind was aching and your stomach turning, as you felt as if something was missing. Strangely, you craved something but had no idea of what exactly. And to not help you with this situation, you rapidly found out that you were hard and dripping, which wasn’t something you wanted to be right now. 

Even after a few minutes, you were still in the same state. You tried to take a shower, to ignore it, watch things that you found disgusting and made your stomach turn, and not in a nice way. But despite this, after doing everything you could think of, it wasn’t coming down. Desperate, and wanting to enjoy your morning before classes, you decide to check the time, seeing how there wasn’t so much time left before going to school. 

Seriously hesitating on what to do, you knew that if you were still like this after long minutes, it wasn’t going to disappear suddenly within this short span of time. Groaning, you convinced yourself that you had no other solution, as you dropped what you were doing and went into the living room, throwing your school bag beside the door. 

And that’s how you ended up sitting on your sofa, lifting the front of your shirt and holding it up with your teeth as you pulled your pants down, stroking yourself slowly. Gradually going faster, you felt your mind go blank, forgetting about all the strange things that happened to you, unknowingly distracting someone else as you relieve yourself. 

Unfortunately for the poor volleyball player, the link between you wasn’t effective only in your dreams, but all the time, both during the day and the night. This means, that if one of you feels something in a strong way, the other will immediately sense it and share that feeling too. 

And so, while getting dressed after waking up feeling discontented by his first dream shared with you, Kiyoomi felt the powerful pleasure going through your body. That bliss coursing through your veins as much as it was in his, his mind went blank as a wave of satisfaction hit him, hard. 

His knees went weak, and he almost fell onto the ground, legs shaking as the sensations were far too powerful for him to withstand. Kiyoomi didn’t know how to feel. First, you ignored him almost all the time during school, then you ended up being pushed away by you inside your dream, and now, you were masturbating just after waking up. Did it mean that he has enough effect on you to give you a hard-on and make you lose your mind? 

Though he wasn’t able to think much longer as he felt his legs give out, the feeling was breathtaking, almost electric, as he never felt something this strong with anyone before, even with those he had a link with. 

Usually, he finds that kind of act absolutely disgusting and unhygienic, which explains why he never touches himself, except for the exception of doing it in someone else’s dream. He was never touching himself, or even thinking about it, even less about spending a night with someone. It was just a distraction. 

But, with the raw pleasure he sensed, unable to ignore it as long as you were feeling it, he could feel his resolve crumble. Your euphoria was taking over his senses, as he could almost feel you, hear you mean and grunt in his ear, imagining your voice as you murmur his name, and unconsciously, his body started to react. 

He really wanted to fight it, refusing to let himself get indulged in such a gross and odious act like this, especially in the morning. But, knowing it was you, pleasuring yourself because of him, was exhilarating, to say the least. It was maybe a unique opportunity to share something with you outside of a dream, pleasuring himself at the same time as you, as if you were the one doing it for him. The idea was so tempting. 

Fixated on what he wanted to do, he completely ignored Komori that should be waiting for him outside the house by now. He could wait for a bit longer anyway, you weren’t going to be at school early today so, there was no reason for them to be in a rush. 

Before he could move towards his bed, a spike of pleasure made him collapse on the ground. In a haste, he pulled his pants down, almost ripping his underwear off as he touched himself for the first time outside a fake reality. The simple contact of his palm against his wet tip made him whine, back arching as his body was sensitive to the point he could feel something come out already. All his muscles were tensed, and he had difficulty breathing as he was overwhelmed by everything. 

Kiyoomi barely started to move when a new wave hits him, feeling your body tense up at the same time as him, he could discern the shakiness of your legs, and almost hear the grunts escaping your lips but muffled by your shirt. Your mind was utterly blank and empty as the link became stronger, now truly unbreakable, as you were unknowingly solidifying it. 

Now, Kiyoomi was able to hear your erratic heartbeat, your unstable breathing, and how you struggled with each inhale. The best thing was the shared pleasure, Kiyoomi could feel each rapid stroke, as he would reply with a slower but tighter one, absolutely worsening your sensitive state. 

As Kiyoomi was trying to match up with your pace, something new emerged, as he felt your body tense up, your breath stopped as a strong sensation broke through your entire body. At this instant, your release triggered his own body to follow you, and cum instantly, even if he wasn’t physically ready to. 

And here he was, in the middle of his room, touching himself for the first time and coming after only a few movements of his wrist. His whole body and brain broke, not functioning anymore, as everything came to a stop. 

It was far too embarrassing. It was so lewd and humiliating, but oh-so-satisfying to have his body give out, Kiyoomi needed it more than anything. 

The thought of being connected to you, being so close to you, feeling whenever you do it, whenever you lose yourself in the forbidden pleasure. It only makes him more addicted to you, desiring to see and taste more. 

If the smell of you and your blood weren’t enough to make him lose his mind, the way your body was moving, how big you were compared to him, and how it left him so many places to bite onto, definitely did. The thought alone could bring him to new highs. He could imagine it already, how he could suck your blood out of you, slowly driving you insane, only for the aphrodisiac of his bite to overwhelm you, him only being able to bring you this endless pleasure. 

Minutes were passing, and despite his mind slowly becoming clearer, he was still frozen in place, his body unable to move. Cum was running down his shaft, onto his hand and sliding down to his elbow, pooling onto the ground. 

He was finally able to breathe correctly, enjoying the relaxed state he was in, high on the pleasure he felt not so long ago. Thankfully for him, it seemed like you only needed to do it once to be satisfied, or else he would have been passed out by the end of the second time. 

But Kiyoomi spoke too soon because he felt it again, this time much stronger, the link activating in a way he didn’t know was possible, his body moving without his consent, his hands going back to hold the tip. His hand moved in synchronization with yours, obediently following your lead even if he didn’t want it. 

He shrieked at the aggressive tempo, the pace was far too quick for him, along with the tight hold around his dick, driving him insane, he was losing it. He couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t do anything to free himself from this power you had over him. He wanted to tell you to slow down, to let him some minutes to regain control of his body, but it would impossible for you to hear, and even so, you were too lost in the headspace he forced you into. 

It was his own fault, after all, if he didn’t play with your mind while you were sleeping, he wouldn’t be here right now, unable to control his own body or mind. Everything was blurry around him, his ears were buzzing and his lower body was shaking as he tried to hold himself up, gripping the edge of his bed. 

Kiyoomi was awfully sensitive, with no stamina during this kind of play, and so, before he knew it, he was cumming again. Without a doubt, you felt it, and yet you weren’t stopping. His hand was still moving at the same pace despite having just came, and he was now completely drenching his pants, unable to stand up anymore. Kiyoomi fell to the ground, his back hitting the side of his bed as he spread his legs, giving up and leaving you to do all the work.

He knew he couldn’t stop you now, not even decrease the pace until he regain his body’s control. Unfortunately, as long as you’re in this state, you will be the one with the upper hand, and he was forced to endure it. Currently, he couldn’t do anything except roll his head back, arch his back and let his mouth hang open, letting out the most sinful sounds he ever heard made. 

It went like this for so long that he lost count, his body shaking uncontrollably. Then suddenly, you were slowing down, and he could finally breathe correctly, inhaling as much air as he could, his lungs burning. Kiyoomi thought he could relax, but something felt wrong, as he didn’t feel you finish, with no sensation similar to what he felt the first time. Were you really done? It seemed suspicious. 

As he thought this, you were breathing heavily, so close to your high, as you moved your thumb towards your tip, barely pressing your nail into the opening, sending Kiyoomi’s body lurching forward. His voice broke as a moan was forced out of his mouth, this action hurt so fucking good, the pain was addicting. His hips thrusted up uselessly, knowing he wasn’t the one in charge of the stimulation he was receiving. 

And it’s only after another orgasm that he broke down, whimpering your name out loud, begging and whining, crying, pleading for you to stop, and then to keep going, to give him more. Until finally, he shouted out something intelligible, squirting over himself, and his pants, making a complete mess as he was too drunk on these sensations to process anything. 

He humped the air, searching for you as something snapped inside of him, his eyes rolling back in his skull, his whole mind filled with thoughts of you. He hoped you were losing your mind too, while thinking about him, making a mess while hoping he could be there with you. Kiyoomi would do absolutely everything to be in between your legs, lapping at your dick, devouring your thighs and tasting you. He could offer his mouth to you, his entire body, doing anything that could make you happy. 

There were hearts and tears in his eyes, Kiyoomi knew that he needed to have you, to make you his, and have you as desperate as he was for you. It was crazy how badly he was dreaming of marking you, now, sinking his teeth into the flesh of your neck, and forcibly making you cum inside of him. Just imagining how he could drive you mad with only one bite, only a single bite and you were his forever, obsessed with his scent, hypnotized by his eyes and entranced by his body. 

He was aware that a single bite could drive any human insane, making them mad and high on a surreal pleasure. And he couldn’t help but dream of biting you countless times, cover neck and shoulders in his beautiful marks, making you bleed, tasting you without feeding. 

He could see and feel it already, how you would fuck into him harder, unable to think of anyone else but him, destroy his body until he couldn’t walk anymore. How you could make a mess out of him, and only he could bring you to an ecstasy you never felt before, become addicted to this link and sensations. 

For the first time, Kiyoomi desired someone, wishing that you could be his and only his. As his mind was taken away, disappearing into a pit of need and want, determined to make a move as soon as he can, his body went limp. 

You weren’t in a better state on the side, his numerous releases made you almost pass out by the end of it, and as you try to slow down your breathing, needing to get ready to go to school, something in the back of your mind snaps. 

You closed your eyes, and when you opened them again, you were in the same dream as before. 

⏤ Thank you for reading! I wish you a great day.

⏤ here is my masterlist & ko-fi ⏤

[mcuamerica]

The Shadowsinger | Epilogue

Warnings: ACOTAR series spoilers, mentions of past miscarriages, mention of canon level violence,

Summary: Much time has passed. You and Azriel are finally starting a family.

Disclaimer: I do not own SJM’s characters or plot lines, only the ones I create for the purpose of this story. This is a work of fiction. I do not give permission to repost my work on any other platform or medium. Please be respectful.

Graphics are my own. If you use, please give credit!

Series Masterlist

You stood on top of the hill as you watched the camp's lively movements, hand resting lazily on your swollen stomach.

You were eight months pregnant, two months from giving birth to your and Azriel's little girl. Much to Azriel's protests, you were still overseeing your camp.

After your official mating with Azriel, you took to creating an all female unit of Illyrian warriors. And Cassian had the perfect space to do it, the camp he burned down after his mother died. He thought it fitting that females would get to reclaim it, and you agreed. So, you were the war camp Lady of Beornwynn, meaning joyful warrior. Even after 50 years of running the camp, you were still baffled at people coming to you for advice on fighting techniques or for settling disputes.

Just 25 years ago you and the other camp Lords, along with the IC of the Night Court, decided it was time to end the Blood Rite. While tradition still lived on with qualifying courses comprised of three levels, and determining rank, the Blood Rite was too bloody a ritual. Too many potential warriors died in it, and too many sons and daughters were victim to cruel acts or vicious creatures. So, instead, there was a week of qualifying courses that rotated from camp to camp each year. The first set of courses were competed at a team level, the second as smaller units, and the finals were individuals. The winners for each round were determined by time, skill, and ability. If one made it passed the first round, they were named Arktosian. The second round winners were named Oristian. The third and final winners were named Carynthian. At the end of the week, when the stars were lined up perfectly with Ramiel, there was an induction ceremony where the warriors names Carynthian would climb the final trek of the mountain to touch the top. Wings bound and magic temporarily taken from them, but supervised. If they didn't make it, they would be demoted to Oristian. It was a good middle ground, and the ranks held out just as they had centuries before.

The ending of the Rite came after Nyx had participated, as part of your camp. You started allowing males to join the Illyrian units 10 years after it was established, just in time for Nyx to truly start learning. He, along with a group of friends, made it to the top of the mountain and were named Carynthian, just like his father. It nearly killed him, and he had a nasty scar that ran down his arm because of it. But he survived and he was an incredible warrior that made his entire family proud. Especially when he chose to continue his training and ended up taking a position as one of your commanders.

You watched as he trained the females and males alike, all moving as a unit. You couldn't wait for your little girl to be apart of it, hopefully trained by Nyx and his younger sister, Nera.

The Valkyries had a place at your camp too, it was a mix of Illyrains and them. When a warrior reached a certain level, they could choose between the two. While Nyx was an Illyrian through and through, Nera was a Valkyrie. There was a ground unit of Illyrian females (and males) that couldn't use their wings, if the females didn't join the Valkyries. And you would be happy with whatever your daughter chose. Even if she decided to not participate at all.

You felt Azriel's presence as he appeared next to you, his arm snaking over your shoulder. You glanced up at him, smiling at the faint stubble that graced his jaw. After all these years, you still admired his beauty. "Hi." You whispered. "Spying go well?" You asked.

Azriel hummed in acknowledgement, leaning down to kiss your neck and take in your scent, something he hadn't stopped doing since he scented that you were pregnant. "Everything okay here?" He asked, eyes glancing over to the camp below.

"As always.. though I did have to break up a fight earlier." You said, a teasing smirk on your lips as you felt him tighten his grip.

"You shouldn't be-"

"Nyx was the one who got in between them. You think him or Nera are going to let me break up a fight myself?" You teased, smiling at the look on your niece and nephews faces when they found you watching the fight. They immediately jumped in as you scolded the two warriors.

Azriel still let out a growl. "You should be resting. Not worrying about fights." He said, hand coming up to cup your cheek.

You knew his worry. You'd lost babes in the past, but always early on in you pregnancy. It took a while for you to really start trying again, and even longer to actually get pregnant. But when you did, you were overjoyed. Azriel was even more excited. Especially when you made it past the crucial months.

"We're going back to Velaris tomorrow, remember? That was part of the deal." In which you made with him when you first got pregnant. When you were officially 8 weeks away from giving birth, you would go back to Velaris and let him dote on you. As long as he took a break too.

"I still regret agreeing to it." He said, hand trailing to rest on top of your belly. You smiled as he knelt down and pressed a soft kiss to it, muttering a hello to your daughter.

"Help me to our cabin?" You asked as he stood up.

He winked at you, taking your arm and walking with you down the hill to your cabin. He gave Nyx a wave when the young Illyrian noticed him and Azriel nodded to the cabin. Nyx gave him a nod back and went back to training his unit.

"You know, Feyre is still very upset Nyx chose to spend all his time here." Azriel teased.

You laughed softly. "I can't help it if he loves his aunt and uncle more than his parents." You joked. In all honesty, Nyx spent his time between here and Velaris. And the other war camps. But this was Nyx's home base, where his friends and family were. Nera, on the other hand, spent more time with her parents, learning everything there was to know about running the Night Court. She presented with much more power than Nyx, and he quickly stepped aside for his younger sister. Being a warrior was much easier than being a courtier for him.

You soon were sat on the couch, letting Azriel rub your swollen ankles and feet as you sipped on some steaming tea. It was autumn, and while being in the Illyrian mountains meant having early snows most times, it didn't mean that currently. Autumn leaves fell from the trees planted around the camp, the shrubs and grass descended into browns. Still, it wasn't quite as cold as it normally was and you were happy for it. Even if you were hot because of the hormones all the time.

You looked out the window, smiling as you got a glimpse of Nyx training some of the younger recruits on how to fly in a unit. He truly never stopped working. Your smile faltered as you began to think about how you'd have to navigate teaching your own daughter how to fly.

Azriel caught your gaze, sensing the shift in your demeanor. "You will be able to fly with her. Just like you fly with me." He said, squeezing your calf.

You glanced down to his hands and then back up at him. "Not as well as I could." You said, shifting your wings behind you. You still woke at night from the lingering pain of your snapped tendon. While it was repaired and you could fly, it never lasted long without your muscles having a spasm and then you needing to land. Trying to teach your daughter to fly with the pain made you wince while you thought about it.

"She'll see her mom flying and that will be enough." He said, moving to sit closer to you and pull you towards his side. "You know you're amazing in more ways than one and she will see that. Especially when she sees you flying with your scars." Azriel said.

Tears had welled in your eyes, from what you really didn't know. It could've been Azriel's words or the prospect of teaching your daughter to fly. You knew for certain your emotion was increased because of the hormones coursing through your body.

"Oh.. sweetheart." Azriel whispered and cupped your cheek, wiping the tears from your eyes.

"Stupid pregnancy. Makes me all weepy." You muttered, a smile coming to your face. "Thanks, Az." You said and kissed his cheek, sniffing slightly. "Maybe we can go back to Velaris tonight... I'd honestly like to make the family dinner today." If only to rub it in Rhys's face that Nyx spent an extra week with you all instead of going to the Day Court's official High Lords meeting. You knew his parents would scold him for it, but you also understood not going to go to the meeting. They were boring most of the time, and the other times normally ended with someone being restrained from a fight. You were glad you were never required to go to those anymore, instead sitting in on the occasional war meeting with Azriel, Cassian, and the other commanders of Prythian. While you hadn't had war in quite a few years, it was still good to keep prepared. Which is exactly why you spent most of your time at Beornwynn.

"Only if you want, I know you've been getting drained more often as the sun goes down." He said, rubbing your shoulders.

You hummed and nodded, smiling a bit. "I'm up for it, Az. I want to see our family." Which would be increased by two within the next year. While you were close to bringing your little girl into the world, Nesta was only 6 months pregnant at this point, but excited as ever to have a baby. Lucien and Elain already had two of their own, though they were now ruling in the Day Court after the unfortunate passing of Helion. Your family was growing by the day, it seemed, and you couldn't wait for your daughter to be apart of it.

It didn't take long for you to settle into a routine back in Velaris, happy to see your family and have them close to help with chores when you were too tired. Azriel was always by your side, but even he was getting restless. Which is why you sent him and Cassian to train some of the Valkyries at the House of Wind while Nesta and you relaxed in your house. You watched as Azriel's shadows swirled under your feet, sipping more tea as Nesta went on about the book she was reading.

"Are you listening?" She asked, waving her hand in front of your face. "I just said the main character of the book almost died from getting fucked too hard and you don't react?" She asked.

"With the books you read, isn't that par for the course?" You asked, a teasing smirk forming on your lips.

She nudged you with a scoff, but a small smile graced her lips. "How are you doing? Did your headaches go away?" You asked, nodding towards her growing belly.

She hummed, smiling faintly. "Yes, thankfully." She said and hummed, closing her eyes as she leaned her head back. "It was so bad one week I just stayed inside and laid in bed. I couldn't even open my eyes." She said.

You scrunched your nose, shaking your head. "Get ready for a constant aching back next. I can't wait to lay down on my back for more than five minutes." You said, smiling as she laughed along with you.

"Is Elain going to be here closer to when you're due?" You asked.

She nodded, smiling. "She also can't wait to see your little girl." She said. "But she can't make it in when you're due."

You nodded, giving her a gentle shrug. "With the rest of our family, I think I will survive." You said.

Nesta nodded and rested a hand on her belly. “Madja says we’re having a boy,” she whispered. “Honestly, I think I’m relieved.” She said.

You tilted your head. “Why’s that?” You asked.

“I don’t think I would be a very good mother to a girl.” She said.

You shook your head. “Nesta, you’re going to be an incredible mom either way.” You said. “And if you ever have a girl later, you’re going to be amazing. Because you worry about being a bad mom.” You said. “That’s why you’ll be good.”

She nodded and looked at you. “Are you ready?” She asked.

You smiled happily and hummed as you set your mug down. “Yes, very.” You said. “I can’t wait to see Azriel with our little girl. He’s been wanting it for so long… and I remember him with Nera when she was young. He was so sweet… and I just can’t wait for that to be him with our little one.”

Pretty soon, it was time for your babe to be born. It took hours with the labor, but finally, you had a little baby girl in your arms. Her wings would flutter every now and then when she would coo at you.

Azriel stood above you, his hand resting on your shoulder as he peered down at your daughter. “She’s beautiful.” He whispered, smiling at her.

“Can you take her?” You asked, smiling as he nodded. His eyes were slightly wide as he took your babe in his arms, smiling at her as she reached up.

You settled back into the now clean bed, leaning your head against the pillow. “Did you settle on a name?” You asked him. You both had come up with a lot and you were way too indecisive to choose, so you gave Azriel the role of choosing one from the list.

Azriel smiled down at his daughter, rocking back and forth with his hips. “Sorin.” He said.

You smiled and looked at him as he swayed back and forth. “Perfect name for a perfect baby girl." You said, admiring your mate and your babe.

You drifted off to sleep to Azriel's quiet soothing, "Hi little one.. I'm your daddy.. I love you so much. I'm going to protect you and keep you safe... and warm.. and no harm is every going to come to you. I love you."

A/N: I didn't think I was going to continue this series on, but I just had to write an epilogue (esp after I saw how close it came to my Eris fic in the poll). Annnddd I've wanted to give them a longer conclusion.. though honestly I might still write some drabbles if any of you have reuqests...

Tagging: @cherry-cin @cleverzonkwombatsludge @nickishadow139 @complete-randomness2 @lilah-asteria @tele86 @mybestfriendmademe @mariahoedt @6v6babycheese @secretsthathauntus @krowiathemythologynerd @fightmedraco @he6rtshaker @kayla-rose15 @aelincaddel @mfri06 @hauntedstudentobservationus @brieflyclassymortal @read-write-sleep-startover @krowiathemythologynerd @ialwayscryatendings @chxosangxl @tanyaherondale @randombibitch @plants-w0rld @etsukomoonbeam @riorgail @herondale-lightworm @panther-girl-124

[barelytolerabled]

Speeding Hearts part 1

lando norris x fem!driverReader

summary: you and your best friend, Pierre Gasly, had the same dream. but now that you’re living it together you start to want something else, someone else.

WC: 3k272

next

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From the moment you and Pierre Gasly met, you were inseparable. Growing up in the same small town, your shared passion for racing forged a bond that was unbreakable. As kids, you'd race each other on bicycles, then go-karts, and eventually in more powerful machines. Your dreams of Formula One burned brightly in your hearts.

The two of you made a pact, one that would echo through the years of your friendship: if you were ever fortunate enough to find a team in Formula One, it would be together or not at all.

Together, you endured the struggles and sacrifices that came with pursuing a career in motorsport. You celebrated each other's victories, consoled each other in defeat, and trained relentlessly to reach your shared goal. In the eyes of your friends and family, you were a package deal, a dynamic duo who stood as the epitome of friendship and teamwork.

As Alpine Racing welcomed both you and Pierre into its fold, the excitement was palpable. The realization of your childhood dream had become a reality. The gleaming Formula One cars stood before you, a testament to your perseverance and shared determination.

One crisp morning, the two of you found yourselves at a secluded test track. The air was charged with anticipation as you both prepared to unleash the power of the Alpine machine. Strapped into your respective cockpits, you exchanged a knowing glance that spoke volumes, this was a moment you'd both been waiting for.

The engines roared to life, and as you navigated the twists and turns of the track, the years seemed to peel away. The hum of the tires and the rush of wind brought you back to the days of karting on dusty circuits, chasing each other with unbridled joy. The camaraderie and competition were as alive as ever.

In a moment of complicity, Pierre signaled to you on the team radio. "Remember the karting days? Let's show them what we're made of." A grin spread across your face as you pushed the limits, mirroring the synchronized dance you'd perfected as kids.

As you tackled each corner, the memories flowed freely. The shared victories, the defeats that only fueled your determination, and the unspoken language you'd developed over the years.

The track became a canvas where your friendship was painted with every acceleration, every brake, and every perfectly executed maneuver. The thrill of speed merged seamlessly with the nostalgia of simpler times, creating a moment of complicity that transcended the confines of a Formula One test session.

For a fleeting instant, you and Pierre weren't just drivers for Alpine; you were the kids who once dreamed of this very moment, now living it together in the pinnacle of motorsport. The bond forged in those karting days had matured into something unbreakable, carrying you through the twists and turns of life and racing alike.

The checkered flag waved, signaling the end of the test session. As you and Pierre brought your Alpine monoplace to a smooth stop, a sense of accomplishment washed over you. The thrill of the track lingered, echoing in the air like a sweet melody.

With helmets in hand, you both stepped out of your respective cockpits, faces flushed with exhilaration and joy. A shared look passed between you, a silent acknowledgment of the journey that had led to this moment. The echoes of laughter from your karting days seemed to resonate in the pit area.

Unable to contain the elation, Pierre enveloped you in a spontaneous, tight embrace. The camaraderie and friendship that had weathered the years manifested in that simple yet profound gesture. The pit crew, observing the genuine connection between you two, couldn't help but share in the infectious joy.

Pierre grinned, his eyes reflecting the shared memories and dreams that had brought you both to this pinnacle. "We did it," he exclaimed, a mix of pride and excitement in his voice. You reciprocated the sentiment, "Together, just like we always said."

As the pit crew joined in the celebration, cheers and congratulations filled the air. It was a victory not just for Alpine Racing but for the enduring friendship that had withstood the test of time and trials.

The euphoria of the track still lingering, Pierre and you made your way to the first press meeting as Alpine drivers. The anticipation in the room was palpable as journalists gathered, eager to capture the essence of the new dynamic duo. With intertwined fingers under the table, a silent reassurance passed between you.

As the questions began, the room buzzed with curiosity. The first question, directed at you, cut straight to the heart of your connections. "A lot of people know your teammates thanks to his close friendship with Charles Leclerc. Are you also close to him?" The gaze between you and Pierre conveyed volumes. You took a moment, a smile playing on your lips, "Charles is a dear friend, and we've grown up together. But Pierre..." You glanced at him, a twinkle in your eye, "Pierre is my best friend. We share a connection that goes beyond the track."

The next question delved into the challenges of maintaining your friendship amidst the competitive world of Formula One. The room fell into a hush as the journalist asked, "Don't you think that your friendship could be destroyed by the sport, due to, for example, the rivalry?" Pierre and you exchanged a glance, a silent understanding passing between you. Pierre spoke with conviction, "We promised each other from the beginning that we'd do this together, and we meant it. No rivalry or competition will ever come between us. We're in this journey as one."

Then came the inevitable question, a sigh escaping the journalist's lips, "There are already rumors about you two being more than friends. What do you have to say?" The room seemed to hold its breath as you responded, "It's unfortunate that our friendship is questioned just because I'm a woman. Pierre and Charles have never faced such scrutiny. We're teammates, friends, and nothing more. The focus should be on our achievements on the track, not baseless rumors."

The room absorbed your words, and you and Pierre exchanged a knowing look. The unspoken promise echoed once more: no matter the challenges, your friendship would endure, unyielding against the backdrop of rumors and speculation.

The first practice session loomed, and the paddock buzzed with the energy of a thousand stories waiting to unfold. Cameras clicked and rolled, capturing the essence of the moment. You wander toward the bustling paddock, the echoes of conversations and the smell of rubber filling the air.

As you strolled through the maze of team motorhomes, a familiar figure caught your eye. Charles Leclerc, a smile lighting up his face, stood amidst the Ferrari team's setup. The two of you shared a brief but warm conversation, reminiscing about the times you spent together growing up. The camaraderie between you and Charles was evident, a connection that went beyond the competitive boundaries of the track.

Just as the conversation began to deepen, Pierre appeared on the scene, greeting Charles with a friendly nod. "Hey, Charles, good to see you," Pierre said, a sense of camaraderie evident in his tone. He turned to you, "Come on, let's head to the garage. We've got some work to do."

As Pierre guided you toward the Alpine garage, the whir of engines and the hum of activity filled the air. He led you to your designated spot, his focus on the task at hand.

Unbeknownst to you, the eyes of fellow drivers lingered. Some curious, some contemplative. The presence of a woman in the midst of Formula One, especially one closely associated with Pierre, had not gone unnoticed. The scrutiny, subtle yet palpable, escaped your attention as you familiarized yourself with the surroundings.

As the practice session approached, the noise intensified, drowning out the whispers of curiosity. The cameras continued to document every movement, focusing on Alpine's new dynamic duo. Little did you know, the world of Formula One was watching, captivated by the unfolding story that went beyond the confines of the racetrack.

In the heart of the bustling Alpine garage, the moment of focus and preparation had arrived. Pierre and you donned your racing suits, the familiar feel of the material a reassuring embrace. The air hummed with anticipation as the team worked swiftly around you, ensuring every detail was in place.

As you adjusted your gloves, Pierre caught your eye. There was a shared understanding between you two, a connection that transcended the spoken word. It was time for the pre-practice ritual.

Stepping closer, Pierre gently lifted his helmet visor, his eyes meeting yours. The world around you seemed to fade as you leaned in, pressing a brief but significant kiss on his helmet. It was a silent exchange, a gesture that spoke of shared determination and unspoken camaraderie.

The cameras, ever vigilant, captured the moment, freezing it in time for the world to see. The intimacy of the ritual wasn't lost on those observing from the sidelines. The team's photographer snapped candid shots, and rival teams' cameras discreetly recorded the exchange, curious eyes dissecting the dynamic between Alpine's inseparable duo.

With the ritual complete, Pierre enveloped you in a tight hug. The familiar scent of racing fuel lingered in the air as you embraced, drawing strength from each other. It was a ritual born from years of friendship and shared dreams.

A last exchanged look conveyed a silent understanding, this was the moment they had prepared for, the culmination of years of hard work and unwavering friendship. With a nod, you and Pierre headed toward the awaiting Alpine monoplace, leaving the garage behind.

The cameras continued to roll, capturing the start of a new chapter in your Formula One journey. The whispers of intrigue echoed through the paddock, but for Pierre and you, the only focus was the track ahead. As the engines roared to life, the world of Formula One awaited the unfolding story of Alpine's inseparable duo.

The thrill of the first free practice was still coursing through your veins as you faced a barrage of questions from journalists. Microphones and cameras surrounded you, capturing the essence of the moment.

A journalist inquired, "So, how was your first free practice?" A wide smile adorned your face as you responded, "It was beyond incredible. To finally be out there, on the track, living my dream alongside my best friend—there are no words to describe the feeling. I loved every moment of it."

"After this first try, who in the grid takes your interest?" A thoughtful expression crossed your face, and you replied, "That's a tough one. There are so many incredibly talented drivers on the grid. Lewis Hamilton, of course, is a legend, and the way he approaches each race is truly admirable."

You took a moment, considering the question further. "And then there's Lando Norris. His style of driving has fascinated me. There's a certain flair, a uniqueness to the way he tackles the track. It's inspiring to see a fellow driver bring such individuality to their performance."

As the questions continued, you shared insights into the challenges of the circuit and the exhilaration of being part of the Alpine team. The journalists, keen on unraveling the narrative behind Alpine's newest addition, hung onto your every word.

In the midst of the interview, a familiar presence approached. Pierre wrapped his arms around your waist, eliciting a giggle from you. "Sorry to interrupt," he grinned, "but the team is waiting for us. They want to film some content, heard about iced bath and whatnot. You ready for it?"

The unexpected interruption added a playful touch to the moment, and you nodded, "Absolutely, let's go." As you and Pierre made your way toward the waiting team, the journalists couldn't help but capture the candid scene—Alpine's inseparable duo, sharing laughter and camaraderie amidst the intense atmosphere of the paddock.

The team cameras were rolling as you and Pierre approached the iced baths, ready for the team's fun challenge. The atmosphere was light-hearted, and the paddock buzzed with anticipation as fans eagerly awaited a glimpse into the behind-the-scenes camaraderie of the Alpine team.

Pierre, sporting shorts, and you, in a two pieces bathing suit, exchanged playful banter, knowing what awaited. As the cameras zoomed in, you both shared a grin, playfully acknowledging the impending icy dip.

But as you hesitated near the iced bath, Pierre couldn't resist teasing, "Hey, remember when we used to take baths together as kids? You always made the water boiling!" You playfully retaliated, "What are you talking about? You were the one who poured only iced water!" The banter continued, each of you laughing as you relived childhood bath-time antics.

Ever watchful, Pierre stepped in front of you, wrapping his arms around you protectively. It was a spontaneous and genuine gesture, shielding you from the exposure to the cameras. Nestling against his shoulder, your shared understanding spoke volumes, conveying the comfort of an enduring friendship.

The fans caught your reaction, the laughter, the friendly bickering, adding a warm and familiar touch to the content. The rapport between you and Pierre was evident, showcasing the camaraderie that defined your partnership beyond the racetrack.

Encouraged by Pierre's support, you finally took a brave step into the iced bath. Pierre remained in front, still shielding you, until you were comfortably settled. With a nod and a smile, you acknowledged his support, feeling grateful for the friend who always had your back.

Fully immersed in the challenge, Pierre, with a playful grin, joined you in the iced bath. Laughter and playful arguments about the water's temperature ensued, each of you enjoying the icy challenge and the chance to share a moment of camaraderie beyond the intense world of Formula One. The team cameras captured these shared moments, providing fans with a glimpse into the authentic and light-hearted relationship that defined Alpine's inseparable duo.

As you relaxed on the bed, enjoying a moment of quiet, Pierre's phone buzzed, signaling an incoming call. Answering with a casual "Hello," Pierre's expression shifted as he listened intently. After a brief conversation, he hung up, a smile playing on his lips.

"Guess what?" Pierre exclaimed, his eyes sparkling with excitement. "There's a dinner tonight, a celebration for the start of the season. All the drivers will be there."

Your eyes widened at the news, a mixture of surprise and anticipation. "Really? That sounds amazing," you replied, the prospect of meeting fellow drivers adding an extra layer of excitement to the already eventful day.

Pierre continued, "It's a great opportunity to mingle with everyone. Plus, they're hosting it to welcome you into the Formula One family officially. You need to know other drivers than just me and Charles."

As you considered the invitation, Pierre reassured you, "Don't worry, you'll love it. And besides, you've got me by your side. Let's celebrate the beginning of an incredible season together."

Emerging from the bathroom, you were dressed for the dinner in an outfit that reflected both elegance and comfort, a balance you hoped would fit the occasion. As you stepped into the room, Pierre turned from where he had been getting ready, a smile forming on his face.

"Wow," he exclaimed, appreciatively taking in your appearance. "You look absolutely wonderful."

A touch of uncertainty lingered, and you couldn't help but ask, "You think it's not too much, or maybe it's just ugly?"

Pierre stepped closer, "Not at all. You look fantastic. Elegant, confident, and perfect for the occasion. Trust me, you're going to turn heads tonight, and for all the right reasons."

His genuine compliment eased any lingering doubt, and a sense of confidence washed over you. With a grateful smile, you nodded, "Thanks, Pierre. I appreciate your honesty."

Together, you made your way to the venue of the dinner, the anticipation building with every step. The energy of the bustling paddock now transformed into a more relaxed, celebratory atmosphere as drivers, teams, and Formula One personalities gathered to mark the beginning of a new season.

You gracefully navigated the room, exchanging greetings and smiles with fellow drivers. Charles , standing nearby, caught your eye. With a familiar warmth, you said hello, and soon, a conversation unfolded, providing a comforting anchor amidst the sea of new faces.

As you engaged in a conversation with Charles, the ambiance of the room echoed with laughter and the hum of animated discussions. The camaraderie within the Formula One family was palpable, making the experience feel like a reunion of old friends.

However, the moment arrived when you were called to gather around the table. Pierre, of course, had reserved a seat for you right beside him. As you took your place, a sense of familiarity and comfort enveloped you. To your surprise and delight, on the other side of you was none other than Lando Norris.

"Hey there," Lando greeted with a friendly smile. "Excited for the season?"

You nodded, "Absolutely. It's a dream come true to be part of all this."

Pierre, leaning over from his seat, chimed in, "And having the best company, of course."

As the night wore on and the festivities continued, a sense of exhaustion began to weigh on you. The adrenaline that fueled the day now transitioned into a yearning for the comfort of the hotel bed. Sensing your fatigue, you turned to Pierre, "I think I'm going to head back to the hotel early. It's been a long day."

Pierre nodded and started to get up, ready to accompany you. However, you insisted, "No, stay and celebrate. I'll be fine. I just need some rest."

Pierre began to argue back, concerned about leaving you alone, but before he could protest further, Lando interjected. "Mate, I'm knackered too. I can walk her back if you want."

Pierre looked torn for a moment, torn between the desire to celebrate with friends and the instinct to ensure your well-being. After a moment's contemplation, he relented, "Alright, thanks, Lando. Just send me a message when you arrive, okay?"

Grateful for the compromise, you smiled at Pierre and kiss his cheek slightly, "I promise. Enjoy the rest of the evening. I'll catch up on all the stories tomorrow."

As you and Lando made your way out, the night air providing a refreshing contrast to the lively atmosphere inside, you exchanged a few words of gratitude. Lando, being the gentleman he was, assured you, "No worries. And don't forget to send that message to Pierre, else he'll be panicking."

Outside the hotel room, as you bid goodnight to Lando, he seemed to fidget nervously. "Hey, um, I heard you talking earlier about finding my driving fascinating to the journalists. Is that true?"

You chuckled at his genuine curiosity, "Yeah, absolutely. Your style on the track caught my attention. It's like watching an artist at work."

Lando blushed slightly, "Really? I mean, I just drive how I feel, you know?"

"Exactly," you reassured him, "That's what makes it fascinating. It's authentic, and it adds a unique flair to the races."

He grinned, "Thanks for saying that. It's just... I never thought people would describe my driving like that."

"Well, get used to it. You're making an impression out there," you replied, offering encouragement. "Now, get some rest, and I'll see you on the track tomorrow."

Just as you were about to close the door, Lando hesitated for a moment before asking, "Hey, would you be up for grabbing breakfast tomorrow before the second free practice? It could be a good chance to chat more about racing and stuff."

You smiled at the invitation, appreciating the camaraderie, "Sure, sounds like a plan. Text me the details, and I'll meet you in the morning."

With a final nod, Lando gave a friendly wave and headed down the hallway. Closing the door, you couldn't help but feel a sense of warmth from the connections formed in just one day.

Safe in bed, bonne nuit Pierre💗

[ninyard]

i am a BIG supporter of create what you want for your own joy, so absolutely do what you would like to do for the trial!! no one should be pressuring you to do it a specific way unless that’s how you Want to do it.

but if you were asking about what we’d like… personally i would love to see the whole trial as much as possible (i really don’t want you to overwhelm yourself) especially for higgin’s and nicky’s parts!! i like when we see more than just Big Main Parts, especially bc you flesh it out so well <3 sometimes it’s even more hard hitting when it’s Not from the people we expect, you know?

also, thank you for making the socmed aus!! they make me giggle and kick my feet every time, and also wail in agony and clutch at my chest… you have the range <3

GOD i wrote a whole long ass response to this and i didn't realise until too late that my phone was going to die </3 and it died </3

But it was something along the lines of I'm really glad that the general consensus seems to be to do all five days of the trial, or however many days it ends up being, from start to finish. For me personally it'd feel unfinished if I skipped parts just to get to the ~interesting~ parts, and I think if I'm going to make something like this then I want to show it all.

It's not this deep, but I guess it's like... It's fucked up. People are making memes about a murder trial involving rape and other things that are just not funny at all. And skipping parts just to get to "GOD NEIL IS SO CHAOTIC ON THE STAND" or whatever feels,,, insensitive? Unjust?? I don't know

but people are also doing that shit in real life. About real people, real trials, with real victims and real perpetrators. Sensationalising trials just because it's a celebrity on the stand, or it's an "interesting" murder trial or whatever. People are making memes and jokes about them. And people are making their own minds up about the verdict because of it. I want to show people who think Aaron's guilty because of something the cop who arrested him said. I want to show people who think Andrew is an unreliable witness because of something Higgins says, somebody who thinks Aaron isn't guilty because a forensics team mentioned something about the crime scene that they don't think sounds right. I want to make this from the outsider view on the publics reaction to a trial, and specifically people who almost idolise Aaron, or Kevin, or Neil, or Andrew. People who don't see them as human, but as celebrities, as people who are supposed to be perfect. People who see a trial like this and think, "it's okay for me to make jokes about this, or to post about this, because they're just famous people. They're not like real people to me."

People are at home becoming twitter lawyers and making up their minds based on what they read or see online, and it almost separates the reality of the situation from the "characters" that people create out of defendants and victims. You see people hopping on bandwagons or hate trains or whatever when it comes to these kind of public trials. People making clips of something "funny" a lawyer or witness said for the sake of content. People making temporary celebrities out of the judge and jury and legal representation. For what? For likes?

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want to show the different sides of how people actually react to trials like this without becoming insensitive to the fact that trials like this,,, do actually happen. But by making a fan tweet a joke about murder, I'm making that, I'm thinking of the words that go into the tweet. So it's tough. And again I know it's not that deep, but that's kind of... most of the reason why I've been putting it off? Because it's hard. It's hard not to feel like it sensationalises those kinds of things. It's hard not to feel like "God, am I just making fun of this situation here?" while also being reminded that yeah, maybe, but people actually react like that.

So is it worth the tumblr post to make memes and tweets out of something that happens irl, and affects real people? Is it insensitive, or is it just fandom stuff that isn't perceived in an insensitive way at all, because it is just that, a fandom post?

[maochira]

Until the mirror breaks. [Part 3]

[Part 1], [Part 2], [Part 4]

Tags: gn!youngest Itoshi!reader, reader was born shortly before Sae went to Spain, angst. a lot of angst., hurt/comfort, slightly possessive Rin

Even years later, the rivalry between Rin and Sae doesn't stop. It's mostly fueled by Rin. His fixation on you being the next prodigy hasn't stopped either. For that matter, it actually became stronger - or as Sae calls it: it became worse.

If it wasn't for your irrational fear of cameras, Rin would have shown you off to the world already. That fear isn't something you've always had, but rather something that developed as you grew up.

And now, you're 8 years old. Rin can barely process how much you grew up already.

And neither can Sae.

For Sae, it's especially hard to grasp because he barely got to see you in all these years.

There was this longer period of time when he got to see you without Rin being there. That was when Rin was in Blue Lock and Sae stayed in Japan for a while. But even during that time, Sae couldn't manage to develop a proper bond with you. He knows as soon as he leaves again he's going to forget about you most of the time. That knowledge created a barrier that prevents him from forming a real bond with you. What also holds him back is the mess of what's going on between him and Rin. Due to being stuck in such a mess with the brother he grew up with, it's just hard to feel the way he once felt about Rin about you.

Every time he leaves after visiting home, Sae gets hit with the same guilt he felt after his first visit. The guilt makes him feel like he should protect you and prevent Rin from forcing his own dream onto you. But really, Sae has no idea what to do about that. He's attempted to talk to Rin and your parents about it, but was always met with the same answers.

"(Y/N) has the potential to become a great player. We should continue supporting that."

After the end of Blue Lock, Rin became a professional soccer player, but decided to continue living at home so he can support you. He has to travel fairly often, but when he doesn't, he often spends his time with you.

Rin took control over everything regarding soccer in your life. Even your parents don't get a say in that anymore, but they're only fine with it because they don't see how controlling Rin can get.

For the longest time, Rin didn't let you join a team. He thought you were way too good to play with others your age, since he considered their skill way below yours. What he didn't take into consideration was how that made you lack experience regarding playing in a team and against another team. But at the age of 8 that shouldn't be so bad.

Eventually, Rin realized it was time to look for a team for you to join. And of course, you got accepted into his first choice. Being one of the Itoshi siblings means having access to joining any team you'd want to.

Your lack of experience in playing with multiple people showed in the first few weeks of joining your team, but you got the hang of it really quickly. And of course, you're the star of the team. After all, you're an Itoshi.

Even though you now have weekly soccer practices and matches, Rin still makes you practice with him almost every day. But not to an extent where it's overly exhausting or leads to burnout. Rin is so fixated on his dream, he managed to find the perfect balance in everything for you.

And now, your first big match is coming up. Sae just happens to visit home during that time, and he's never gotten to see you play in a match, so he's coming along with Rin and your parents to watch you.

But without his, and even without your knowledge, Rin planned to make so much more out of this. He invited representatives from the Japan Football Union to show off that you're the next prodigy.

This would be your time to shine. This would be the moment all the years of training pay off.

At least that's how Rin thinks it's going to be.

Without Rin't knowledge, the JFU representatives invited a camera team to show the match live on the internet. Knowing an Itoshi sibling will be playing would make a lot of soccer fans watch that.

Rin thought you would be fine, but the cameras triggered your anxiety the moment you saw them. The anxiety prevents you from playing properly and the skill you show is so much below what you're actually capable of.

It disappoints Rin. So much.

It's nothing to blame completely on you, but your team ends up losing the match.

The car ride home afterwards is uncomfortable. Nobody really speaks and you're still anxious because of the cameras. The only somewhat comforting thing is Sae's hand resting on your shoulder.

Being back at home is even more uncomfortable. Rin is still mad at you and doesn't even pay attention to you anymore. At dinner, he acts as if you don't exist.

You're still a child. You don't properly understand why exactly Rin acts this way now. But you feel some sort of guilt. You go to Rin's room with the intention to apologize.

When Rin ignored your knocking, you decide to enter the room anyways. And still, your older brother continues to ignore you. You've never seen him so cold towards you.

It's the exact same way he acts towards Sae all the time.

When you realize the way Rin is currently acting is the same as he acts around Sae, you break down in tears, right in front of Rin.

And he knows he's at fault for making you cry. It frustrates him and makes him even angrier, but instead of comforting you, he lets his anger take over.

"You don't even know how much you embarrassed me today. You were supposed to show how great you are so we can beat Sae one day!"

Rin has never raised his voice when talking to you. His sudden increase in volume makes you flinch.

"I can't stand the sight of you right now." Rin turns away to face the wall. "You let a few cameras take away your entire skill? You let your team lose because of something like this? Seriously?!"

In anger, Rin punches the mirror on his wall. He hits it so hard, it cracks and a few shards fall to the floor.

Rin faces you one last time as he says: "Don't play soccer ever again if you're this weak."

You're still crying. And Rin doesn't care. It's as if the loving and protective brother he's always been has disappeared in one day.

Rin pushes you out of his room and slams the door shut. The sound of that makes Sae look into the hallway, where he sees you in tears.

"Hey, (Y/N), are you okay?" He asks as he slowly walks towards you. "Is Rin still upset? Did he say something mean to you?"

Being aware of the way Rin acts when something doesn't go the way he wants it to, Sae already knows the answers, but he's asking you regardless. Despite the lack of love Sae usually feels towards you, right now his big brother instincts finally manage to take over.

He hates seeing you in tears like this, so he picks you up and takes you to your room, where he sits down with you on your bed.

"I heard a bit of what Rin said to you," Sae admits, "Don't listen to him, okay?" Sae puts his hand on your shoulder and looks into your eyes. "It were the cameras that made you so anxious today, right?"

Sae was never explicitly told about your fear of cameras, but he puzzled the pieces together to figure it out by himself. When you were much younger, your parents would often send photos of you to Sae, so he'd get to see a bit of you. But over the years that slowly stopped. And every time he'd take his phone out around you, you'd hide in fear of him opening the camera.

"I don't like cameras...They scare me" You tell Sae while you wipe away your tears with your sleeve. Sae gives you a tissue to use for that instead.

It takes a bit until your oldest brother figures out what to answer. He wants to be careful with what he says to you right now.

"(Y/N), maybe Rin never told you, but being a professional player means being in front of the camera in basically every match. You can try to get over your fears, or you don't. And if that means you won't become a professional player because you can't or because you don't want to, then that's okay." Sae takes a deep breath and sighs. "Do you even want to be a professional player for yourself? Or is it only because of Rin?"

The last question overwhelms you a lot. It's something you never thought about. Did you ever have the chance to give it only a bit of thought? You're only a kid and you've always been following the path Rin put in front of you. Rin has always been the one guiding you when it came to soccer.

You've never been given a choice to make. Everything you followed were Rin's decisions from what he thought was the best for you. That never did any big damage, since he's always been a loving brother to you. But who could have guessed he reacts like this if you disappoint him only once?

"I-I... I want to quit soccer." You tell Sae between your sobs. "I'm not good enough... I can't do what Rin wants and-"

Sae is visibly shocked by your response and before you get to finish your sentence he interrupts you by grabbing your shoulders and turning you more in his direction to make you face him.

"You don't need to be good enough for Rin. You don't have to beat me to be good enough, okay?" Sae gives your head a soft pat. "Forget about Rin's dream. If he wants to beat me, he can try. But you stay out of it from now on, alright? It's time to figure out what your dream is."