#This focuses more on the parallels yeah

[booksandpaperss]

HOLY SHIT I JUST NOTICED SOMETHING

So we all know this

absolutely gorgeous shot right?

Well…

Doesn’t the lighting in this (absolutely fucking heartbreaking 🥲) shot look almost exactly like that gorgeous lighting in the byler cabin scene??

Hell they’re both even coming from a partially boarded up window of an abandoned home and positioned at exact same angle relative to the shot 👀

So it’s immensely concerning that the byler cabin scene lighting where they’re talking about vecna wanting to kill everyone PARALLELS the lighting in Lumax death shot? Where Max is dying in Lucas’s arms?? Wtf.

So anyways Mike is gonna die in Will’s arms send tweet 🥲🖐🏻

[neurotonic]

Ouh. I really like how out of all the antagonists in the series, Prism's motivations (and her turning to Zoraxis) are directly influenced by Phoenix's track record. She has the most personal beef with the agent, though it's a little ironic that her TK implant helped the agent's success. If it weren't for Prism, Phoenix wouldn't be the legend that they are known for.

...Except...That's minimizing Phoenix's own ingenuity and skill with the implant, isn't it? It's a useful tool, yes! But in the end, it's just a tool. Phoenix was able to use it in unique ways, and that's not counting whatever else Phoenix has to do in the moment without TK. If it weren't for Phoenix's own efforts (and their strange ability to not Die), Prism wouldn't be forced to take revenge.

They're their own self-made people, but inevitably they left such a huge impact on each other before the third game...and if Prism wasn't the one who personally added the implant in Phoenix's head, then they haven't even interacted in person!

It could be seen as a little tragic, and it sorta is--Prism's desire for revenge is a little misplaced (and, yes, it is bolstered by Zor when she switches to their side). For all we know, Phoenix never intended to be the villain in Prism's story. But Prism's frustrated and angry and devastated about being reduced to the One Project she made. She just wanted to make something bigger than herself.

And it's really nice to see Phoenix help her once she recognizes that Zor's been using her all this time...even if it takes some time for Prism to really let them help her.

It takes the combination of their unique skills, brainpower, and their eventual trust in one another to destroy Zor's volcano kinesium base. Prism gets saved by the person she thought made her dreams impossible, and in return, Phoenix gets saved in the one IEYTD ending where they're not declared legally dead. I feel like that's something interesting? Because this is also the one finale where Phoenix has an active ally working with them close to their side (...as close as Prism and Phoenix could get, anyway).

Well. Anyway. What was I talking about? Enemies who are closely intertwined with one another's journeys end up becoming each other's most important allies? Okay, yeah. Let's go with that.

[es-quest]

"ES!" Kotoko yells at you, and you jump in surprise as-

Something rams itself into the wall in front of you but instead of a loud crack as presumed bones hit hard strone. It's body compresses, making a wet squelching sound as it does as the flesh expands. You can't bring yourself to move as it dislodges itself, it raises it head and too long neck and turns to look at you.

[mokeonn]

I need to bombard yall with my new bg3 characters bc I recently got back into the game and started a new tactician and honor mode save

[lesbiansanemi]

You know, I genuinely think Isshin is a really interesting character, especially as far as “shounen dads” go. He’s set up just the same as all of them, dead wife, secret involvement with all the supernatural shit his kids eventually get dragged into, but the big difference with him is he genuinely… tried?

Like don’t get me wrong, he was a horrible parent and absolutely kind of sucked with the way he did parent his kids, especially Ichigo. But you can’t deny that he genuinely loved Ichigo, Karin, and Yuzu. Keeping them in the dark and telling them nothing was kind of the best he could do, not just for giving them a normal life, but trying to keep them safe regarding their Quincy heritage (again, especially Ichigo considering Aizen wanted to use him for experiments)

Like I dunno! Should he have told his kids everything? Yeah probably, he definitely should have once Ichigo met Rukia and shouldn’t have let him run around and not really ever check up on him, but for the most part, he tried to do right by them, and didn’t just fuck off into oblivion once his wife died which is such a common trope

[navree]

i tonya is always a movie i'm gonna be annoyed exists, not cuz i dislike it (it's fine, its' not great but it's adequate and it has its moments) but because i have a vision in my head of a movie about that whole mess that is never gonna come to fruition because there's already been a major motion picture about it

[coredrill]

feliz jueves, we made it y’all!! 😭

[ask-the-rag-dolly]

okay unhinged essay about ragatha probably #1 idk i don't think this is all of my thoughts but here's what i could actually put down

i think the most surprising thing for me Personally is getting a lot of my interpretations of ragatha correct ? like . the thing that almost destroyed my motivation for this blog is the fear that my unhinged overanalyzation of her mannerisms in the pilot were Wrong - i actually thought about canceling everything when i was off from canon - but now ... yeah i'm not doing that

i guess it's just that we had so little of her in the first episode that i thought i was Manifesting her issues but Nope she really is this much of a Loser

first of all ! i suspected that she has low self-esteem but Goodness Gracious !! i didn't expect it to be Actually almost non-existent ?? like i thought i was Exaggerating for this blog but no , no person with a normal amount of self-esteem would Warp an incident so much in their head that they somehow believe something going wrong is Their Fault .

like she's so focused on pomni the entire episode because she Genuinely believes that the fiasco in the first day was her fault ( even though IT WASN'T , but she's really that used to quickly blaming herself ) and wants to make it up to her . but of course pomni is still adjusting and is Overwhelmed by everything ( which is understandable ) so she's not really in the mood for ragatha's bullshit

but with how ragatha reacts and what she subsequently tells kinger - she read those more as ' i do not like you ' than ' i am too fatigued to care about anything right now ' which is such a Large leap , but considering she was the one who Apologized to pomni for giving her a stressful first day ( which was COMPLETELY out of her control , ) it makes sense that she assumes that pomni has something against her - which was not helped by how none of ragatha's attempts of starting a friendship were reciprocated

i do understand why she would Think it's her fault - as pomni's a newcomer and More Stress is the last thing she needs , especially in her first day - but ' oh she doesn't like me ' is still Such a hasty conclusion that someone who already ... Doesn't Like Themself would jump to .

of course i can't not talk about the potential history between her and kinger . through their dialogue you can tell that ragatha's one of those people that took a batshit long time to truly adjust to the circus - which has a lot of interesting implications . with how she seems to understand the process of finding an exit in episode 1 , it explains a lot . my girl was so Not well when she entered the circus .

honestly it's just nice seeing that ragatha at least has Some support despite her being the one who holds everything together - it makes the ending impactful in my opinion ; they do really care for each other and will be saddened if one of them is gone .

also of course she asked if everyone's alright despite having a cleaver to the head ...

something that also has been nagging me for a long time is how much she always gets the short end of the stick . like , literally every time she's on screen , she Has To Get Harmed in some way . i would brush this off as slapstick when her official pin doesn't have her HAVING A KNIFE TO THE CHEST ???

Maybe it's just slapstick . maybe with her having parallels to kaufmo considering how he's said to be a goofy toxic positivity type guy like ragatha and is the one that has abstracted thus far is just a coincidence and doesn't speak levels to what might become inevitable as the series goes on ,

[0rb1s]

Y'all wanted the Pokemon Au y'all getting the Pokemon au, explanations for the Pokemon and more Au info under the cut. Feel free to put questions about the Au in my Ask box

The Au is focused on Pirate captains being Pokemon trainers and their crew their Pokemon, with exceptions like non pirate characters who have Pokemon based on their personalitys.

The world is a mix out of the op world and Pokemon universe, so instead of canon Pokemon regions the regions are based of the op islands, as an example, Luffy is from the Goa Region and travels to other Regions like the Alabasta region or Wano region, in order to beat the strongest trainers in each place he visits in order to become world champion.

Luffys team

Zoro as Chine-Pao: Zoro is often associated with tigers (big cats) and obviously his swords. Luffy also meets him for the first time while he is tied up, wich can parallel how you optain a Chien-Pao wich is locked away

Nami as Liepard: Luffy would meet Nami as a Purloin, wich are known for tricking and stealing from people, her title is also “Cat burgler”

Usopp as Inteleon: Luffy would meet Usopp as a Wobble, since he's such a coward at the start of the series. He would evolve into Drizzile during Water 7 and latter into Inteleon. Inteleon was kind of a no brainer since it's the only sniper Pokemon.

Sanji as Cinderac: Cinderace's Signature move is a Flame kick of sorts. Luffy would meet him as a Raboot, and evolves intomCinderace during Enies Lobby. (British opla sanji…)

Chopper as Sawsbuck: Reindeer, Cheery blossoms.

Robin as Runerigus: Robin is an archaeologists who specifies in finding all of the poneglyphs so her Pokemon being made out off rune tablets makes a lot of sense. Plus the ghost typing can be a hint to her title of “Devil child”

Franky as Blastoise: Franky is basically a weapon himself so making him the literal Tank turtle makes sense to me, also remember the Squirtle with the sunglasses? yeah.

Brook as Houndstone: There aren't a lot of skeleton Pokemon so there was little choice. Houndstones is part of the Ghost gym leaders team, who is a Musician.

Jinbei as Empoleon: Jinbei used to be one of the seven warlords of the sea and is a very honorable person wich works with the personality of Empoleons. He's also shown using a Trident as a weapon.

Kobys team

Milotic: Both of them start of as ugly little loser boys but have one hell of a glow up /affectionate + Milotic would be a great swimming buddy.

Lycanroc: (dog boy koby is so real to me) Dog Pokemon, though more commonly Arcanine, are used as police Pokemon, most likely given to him by Garp.

Gallade: The Fighting type fits Kobys swinging hand approach well and the Psychic type his Observation haki plus being quite the noble Pokemon.

Togekiss: A flying type to reference his Moonwalk ability and generally seeming like a Pokemon would put the effort into raising.

Lucario: dog.. Again, Another Pokemon I feel like Koby would put the effort into raising, fighting type, and the Aura gimmick just matches the vibe as well yk.

Blissey: A healer Pokemon that would assist both hurt trainers and Pokemon, god knows it's good to have one on you when you travel with Luffy.

[bozowrites]

starved man

tom blyth x f!reader : tom feels a way he shouldn't and lets those feelings get in the way of work. (angsty)

wc : 1.2k

a/n : couldn't help myself. i love this man. might write a parallel imagine of the scene in this as a billy x reader fic.

navigaton

maybe tom was wrong for feeling this way. well, he was—he knew that, but you can’t help the way you feel; that’s what tom keeps telling himself. he taps at his leg with his finger, anticipating the scene he was about to do with yn. he couldn’t wait any longer, he was ready to get going. it felt like this exciting and nerve-wracking whirlwind. like when you’re about to ask out your crush and can’t wait for their answer, but too scared to hear the answer at the same time. tom bites his lower lip, bouncing his leg. “dude,” daniel deadpans beside him. “you’re gonna burn a hole through her if you keep staring.” 

tom laughs awkwardly, shaking himself out of it. “i was out of it, didn’t realize.”

“right,” daniel leans in closer to tom, keeping his tone low, “so you aren’t dying to kiss her in this scene?” tom gulps, raising a brow and eyes daniel. “who said i was?”

“no one, but its pretty obvious.” tom scoffs, rubbing his forehead, already annoyed, not with daniel but with himself. this wasn’t how these last few weeks of filming were supposed to go. yn was in for a few episodes of billy the kid, playing a character that billy would fall for, though, of course, wouldn’t get in the end. and, within just the few weeks he’d been getting to know yn, he wanted so much more from her. and, yeah, he was excited because, yeah, he was going to kiss her. this was an excuse to touch her body and feel her lips against his, no questions asked ‘cause this was for work. 

“it is?” tom asks, looking over to meet daniel’s stare. “to me. i don’t know ‘bout anyone else.” he shrugs. “looks like they’re ready for you. try not to have too much fun!” 

tom’s heart stutters. he shouldn’t be this excited. he can’t be. he takes his place, getting himself into it, into character, ready for the cameras. yn smiles wide at him from her spot across the set. he smiles back, he couldn’t not even if he tried. this scene wasn’t going to be the same for her as it was for him and selfishly, he hoped they’d have to redo the scene over and over again. 

on cue, tom is his character. the scene is smooth sailing, he’s practiced his lines well enough with everyone to know what he is doing, but the closer he gets to the kiss; the faster he is with his words, desperate to get to where he wants to be. his heart feels loud and hammers against his chest. he really felt like a schoolboy waiting to confess his feelings. tom’s close to yn, staring directly down at her, her lips. he can’t seem to look away to save his life. she’s stopped talking, he looks up. what was his line again? he looks down at her lips again, he just needs to kiss her. “goddammit.” tom mutters. he dives for her lips. he groans the moment he feels her lips. his hands cup her face, holding her impossibly close. he needs to be as close as he can and touch her as much as he can this way. he's hungry for her, the touch of her. she’s soft and perfectly fitted against him. her hands hold his arms, steading herself as he pushes himself closer and closer. this is by far the best kiss he’s ever shared with anyone, and all be damned if he didn’t get to do it again. 

“billy…” she moans against him. he stutters back, moving himself a step away, letting her go. they’re acting. she isn’t kissing tom, she’s kissing billy. “cut!”

the director makes a move over to them. “missed a few lines, tom, but that was great!” she goes on. tom’s only focused on yn. she’s not looking at him, she’s fidgeting with her skirt, glancing around the room and nodding along with the director. she’s nervous and undoubtedly startled. “alright, you two?” 

“sorry?” tom shakes himself out of it, looking to meet the director’s stare. 

“tom.” the director deadpans. “we’re going to do a quick take of you walking away after that kiss and we’ll move the conversation you two were supposed to have after the kiss to the next scene just before billy leaves.” 

“oh, okay.” 

“i know its a bit of a last minute change but so was that sudden kiss.” tom laughs with her, rubbing the back of his head. “right, sorry about that. i…forgot my lines and just went for it.” he excuses. 

“don’t be sorry. i think that really added to the passion of the scene. more meaning.” tom nods, smiling. “okay, lets do it people!” 

yn doesn’t look at him, avoiding his eyes. what has he done? 

...

“billy—”

“don’t. i know.” tom sighs. he glances around, gulping. “don’t matter, i’m leaving anyways. best i do.” yn nods. “i’m sorry, billy.” 

tom goes to mount his horse, the end scene of him riding off, but yn pulls him back. she kisses him. tom’s heart stops for a moment. her hands held his face this time, and he’d be dumb to not reach for her hips and kiss her back. she lets go all too soon, sighing, keeping her forehead pressed against his. “don’t forget me, billy.” 

“i couldn’t if i tried.” he sneaks a quick peck, satisfied as all can be, and mounts his horse. the stare he gives her before riding off, he’s sure she can see the desire he has for her. maybe he really had gone crazy, but he could swear something was saying the same thing in hers.

...

the scenes with yn had finally ended, they were at the end of their filming for the day. tom was watching as yn indulged in conversation with the director. he sighs. though he felt satisfied by the kisses they’d shared, he needed more and that only fueled him further. the idea of never kissing yn again was weighing on his shoulders like a boulder. it's just a pair of lips, tom thinks. that happens to belong to the most perfect person ever. he groans, leaning his head back to stare at the ceiling. “i’m going crazy.” 

“crazy in love, maybe.” tom sits up, shooting his eyes over to daniel. “what? no.” 

“it’s okay to admit you like someone, tom.” 

“not when they’re taken.” tom sighs, rubbing his temple, annoyed. none of this would be so bad, but yn just had to be in a relationship, a happy one at that. tom just had to fall for her and deal with it, pretending to love hearing her talk about him so lovingly and so sweetly. that scene, kissing her, was his little chance into what a world with her was like, and by golly, did he want more. there wasn’t quite anything like the feeling of her lips on his and her moaning into him as her hands squeezed his arms to steady herself.

“tom—”

‘it doesn’t matter, i’ll get over it. plus, she’s done with this show, so i won’t be seeing her.” not like she wanted to see him. she’d been avoiding him after finishing up. she didn’t join them for drinks and she didn’t look at tom once. 

he really had fucked things up.

[batbabydamian]

The Boy Wonder #1 by Juni Ba rambling about why every time i open this book, i stare in wonder...HAHA and ofc!! how cute Damian is!!

Juni Ba’s style is so absurdly effective in telling a fairy tale for the ages. It’s a stunning blend of simplicity and complexity I'M GRIPPING THE PAGES AGAINST MY EYES…

Before getting into the interiors, THE COVER!! It associates autumn leaves to Damian's Robin title through the iconic cape shape/color; and on top of that, for a Robin going through a big transition in his life...a season of change one might say...Juni Ba your brain...

Damian and the leaves being the only colored parts of this cover is nice in focusing on those elements, but i also like to think by not coloring the background it prepares you to expect impressive inkwork in this book.

On that note, the interiors!! Starting off with Ba's backgrounds of Gotham as it establishes the strange new world that our young hero has been thrust into:

We get a neat tracking shot following a champagne glass that gives us a glimpse of Gotham from the upper echelons to the downtrodden in "Underwell"

This opening sequence quickly lays out the environment Damian will be traveling through in this series! It also sets the tone for some silliness with the cute zoom on the champagne glass before it BOKs the robber lol. Along with Ba's inks, O'Halloran's colors makes every part of Gotham pop - especially love the golds of the higher society shifting into the blues of the underbelly!!

Besides Damian’s personal conflict, Gotham feels like its own entity that he has to contend with. The dialogue speaks for itself, but within the art as well!!

"This city of ours swallows and crushes everything it can" -> a gargoyle's beak over Damian, crowds of people, and walls of advertising

"You've seen it too...the way it coils around one's mind from below." -> bridges and a passing train on a rail viaduct towering over a civilian

"A dark voice calling as if to say..." -> literally, "FEED ME"

LOVELY SHOT OF MOVEMENT... and i love how Damian's venture into Gotham opens with him passing a tree - its branches and leaves are the most organic element on the page before getting into the gritty details of the city! Some yammering because the inks are. so cool: the delicate lines of the leaves in the tree to the thicker/bigger lined ones closer to the camera on the right; the background inks allowing space around Damian's form + the fine line of his grapple!! More O'Halloran praise - PRETTY, and love his coloring over Ba's bg lines, particularly here, keeping the leaves darker on the right.

It's not only a pretty page it's just a really clean layout!! Ba exhibits this throughout the book but i really enjoy it here - from Damian nyooming, we head into these last 3 panels. his cute lil "Robin" shape easily draws the eye to the tops of the panels as we take in Gotham's liveliness alongside the lettering/narration

and the "Robin" shape?? SO CUTE. it's instantly familiar to us as Robin!! bold outline and filled with yellow...it's a Robin in movement!!...AN AUTUMN LEAF IN THE WIND... yeah, still not over that 😭

Damian's inciting incident is introduced in the former panel with a gorgeous backdrop of Gotham in the distance (plus itty bitty Trinity cameo haha). The shot parallels!! beautifully!! in the final page!! Damian is now in the depths of Gotham, his objective out of reach. The colors are of note too, where the familiar yellows of Gotham are suddenly a startling green after the demon makes its appearance. The Gotham land looks even more unfamiliar, which prompts Damian to seek help.

Some speculation, but the green could also be associated with the more mythical side of demons and such (like the ghost?? of the thief), but it could even imply there's a connection to the Al Ghuls themselves as it's the only other time green is so prominently used.

Now that the land of Gotham is established, popping in other fav bgs!

More lovely mix of Ba's inks and O'Halloran's colors!! especially allowing some of the brush/marker strokes to show faintly as part of the twinkling sky...STUNNING!! 😭 i love this whole page but this panel gets me weepy, SMALL DAMIAN IN THE VAST UNIVERSE COMBINED WITH THIS LINE "He knew he could be great. How unfair of the world to make him feel so small." KICKS MY ASS... i need to lie down

YAPPING AT MORE WONDERFUL INKING: the suggestion of windows offscreen from the frames casting these thick lines over the walls and stairwell; the minute shadow details over the railing; the hatching on the suits in the portrait; the framed portrait being its own panel!! cute hooded Damian in the gutter space looking in on the portrait/panel!! CUTE HOODED DAMIANS!!

SPEAKING OF PANELS, along with general effectiveness and efficiency, there's more whimsy in others!! like this kickass page of Nightwing whipping his escrima from first panel -> afterimage lines going POWPOWPOW hitting demons from a distance to ones closer to the camera -> and back into his hand!! IT'S SO GOOD AND SO FUN!!

Ba's action employs more diagonal panels, and characters are less restrained within boxes - there's more energy and freedom across the page!

not necessarily focusing on the action for this one, but THE WHIMSY!! the border itself is goop!! Also gotta point out that looming hammer shape!!

Nightwing's critical hit spans the entire page!! from silhouettes of a flip -> flashy stomping pose/Clayface -> to a distant shot of Dick landing

and a smooth finisher page!! love the motion lines on Dick's arms and waist + his head and arc effects popping outside of the borders; then the smaller panels for quick activity, and the final WOOB WOOB WOOB LOL i can hear this sound effect just as much as i can see it

Along with O'Halloran on colors, Aditya Bidikar on lettering works seamlessly with Ba's vision!! The text boxes for the fairy tale narration are like strips of yellowing pages from an old storybook!! Had to look up the term for this lol, but also reminiscent of those storybooks, there's even a use of "drop caps" - the big fancy capital letter!

Smaller things of note, but the bit of "Weakness" text from Ra's has a kind of. grandiose feel to it. Then the cute B< Damian behind the window!! Love how the bubble and text are faded behind the glass too! The end of the bubble tail is a nice touch as it matches well with Ba's bg inking :0

Otherwise, it seems Ba has done a majority of the lettering - dropping a couple of my favs below!!

also just this whole page: the very loud AAAH! text draws both Damian's and the reader's attention to the panel below!! it's a cool transition to a new shot where you can see Damian's silhouette on the building! The final panel is cartoony violence off-page through the bold POW BOOM SLAM haha + DAMIAN'S LIL FIST!!🥺 and the guy's tooth RIP

Pure speculation - Juni Ba's concept art included Carrie Kelley, so i'm wondering if the hostage in the beginning could be her and we'll be returning to this moment in time by the end. The worn Robin colors are similar to the design + their head is conveniently covered.

In terms of story, I'm obviously heavily biased, but the initial read got me rolling in emotions with how it has you caring for Damian. Damian as a character is so fantastical in essence - it’s part of his individual charm in the batfam cast! an heir of two kingdoms, born and raised with great expectations suddenly thrust into an unfamiliar land. he has a sword. he has a dragon bat for a companion. he is haunted by the sins he has committed. he is two apples tall. he's truly fairytale material!!

LIKE...past the panels of only his silhouettes, this is our introductory appearances of Damian. It's laid out clearly in the narration, but this parallel is SO GOOD: from the powerful and ornate visuals of Damian and the Al Ghuls -> to a simple panel of Batman's shadow behind a boy littered in scars, stripped of his home and status

Damian is out of his element and proves himself in the way he knows how!!

just kick me down a flight of stairs why don't you. i don't know which messes me up more, the top 3 or bottom 3 panels. His facial expressions!! his expectations for approval dashed!! Damian's hand reaching for his father!! only to be left alone with the body. The page after this is the final nail in the coffin in feeling just how lost he is in the world before he acts on it. And you root for him the entire way!!😭

Despite Damian's fanciful background there's so much heart to be shown in his struggles and discoveries - and this classic form of a fairy tale lays it out so brilliantly!! It's shaping up to be an amazing balance of heavier elements and whimsy based on this first issue, and it leaves you wanting more!!

Besides being a thoroughly enjoyable read, it's inspiring work!! i've ordered Juni Ba's other books to consume more of his storytelling, and here's the ones i've found so far if you're interested in checking them out as well!!

Mobilis: My Life with Captain Nemo

Monkey Meat

Djeliya: A West African Fantasy Epic

The Unlikely Story of Felix and Macabber

okay shockingly, i didn't blab about how cute Damian is as much as i thought i would, but i think the collage at the top speaks for itself lol

this is all you need to know how cute Damian is in this!! his cheeks are so pinchable, it was done on page!! 🥺 these panels obliterate me

[freak-accident419]

depollute me, gentle angel

Billy (Burn 2019) x GN!Reader

Part 1 | Part 2

Summary: It’s been days ever since the incident at Paradise Pumps. Days ever since Melinda. Days ever since Billy ran into your arms immediately after coming back home. They say time heals all wounds. But they’re never really truly gone.

Requested by: @roarsaurus

Word Count: 2.7k

Content: TW: implication of past SA, Billy gets triggered, fluff, angst, cuddling, affirmations, “passenger princess” used in a gender-neutral way, kissing, attempted/interrupted sex

(A/n: I tried my absolute best to approach this topic delicately with respect and sensitivity. My intention is not to romanticize or glamorize this topic, or offend or disrespect anybody, but to tell a story.)

“(Suck the rot right out of my bloodstream)

Depollute me, gentle angel

And I’ll feel the sickness less and less”

-

The soft, amber glow of the morning sun had leaked through the blinds warmly, the parallel arrangement of light gently soaking into the blanket that was covering you and Billy. Your eyes gradually fluttered open as you awoke in the early morning, your vision finally focusing to see the love of your life in front of you.

He looked so beautiful. Gorgeously peaceful as he slept. He deserved it, after all. You heard his soft, quiet breaths and just laid there, admiring him. But then he started to stir into his sleep, beginning to wake up alongside you.

As his eyes opened, a smile was immediately formed through the precious curl of his lips. He was so, so beautiful. His gentle brown eyes bored into yours so very lovingly, and that smile only proved his deep, smitten love for you further.

He inhales softly, eyes closing once more as he was still seemingly tired, yet he let one of his hands grasp onto yours, holding it tenderly. “Good morning,” Billy mumbles sleepily as he rubbed across your fingers with his thumb in a soothing back and forth motion.

“Morning,” you reply in a soft, silent tone that mirrored his. You felt warm just from his touch and the calming, delicate atmosphere that embraced you.

His eyes slowly opened once again, finally becoming completely aware in your presence, as another wide smile appeared on his lips from the mere second he laid his eyes upon your face. A soft, low chuckle escaped his mouth, under his breath. “Sleep well?” He asked sweetly, examining your expression.

“Mm-hm,” you hum soothingly, ultimately comforting him with your lulling voice.

“That’s good,” he replies quietly with contentment. You could still tell that he was fairly drowsy through his tired voice, trying to wake up, but it only made you admire this moment even more.

“What about you?” You question, raising an eyebrow. As Billy thought of his answer, he brought your hand to his lips and planted gentle, soft kisses on it, kissing the back of your hand, each finger, your palm, and your wrist.

“Good,” he answers, holding your hand close to himself.

“You awake yet?” You chuckle softly, which emitted a snicker from him as well.

Billy closes his eyes to yawn, and they continued to stay closed as a giddy smile was plastered on his face. “Yeah, I’m getting there,” he mutters, gripping onto your hand tighter, then pressing another kiss onto the back of it.

“You sure?” You ask gently, looking down at his closed eyelids and dreamy grin. “Doesn’t look like it. You could always go back to sleep.”

“Mmm,” he hums lowly, eyes still shut as he rubbed the skin of your hand with his thumb. “Nah, don’t worry. I’m getting up.”

His eyes fluttered open for the second time and the two of you just gazed at each other. Billy was so fascinatingly beautiful. Seeing him up close, seeing the whirlpool of burnt umber in his eyes, seeing his pupils patiently dilate, seeing the very faint stubble on his face, and seeing the subdued freckles across his nose… it amazed you. He was so achingly gorgeous.

You moved your head towards him and kissed the soft smile on his lips, delicately bringing your hand to the back of his neck, making it’s way up to the healed burns on the side of his face, and cupped his jaw. Once your lips pulled away from his, you giggled sweetly, looking at him closely.

“Hey,” you whisper quietly, your hand still cupping his face while his hand lightly held onto your wrist. “I love you, Billy.”

He looks at you with utter infatuation. He could never get over hearing you say that to him. “I love you too.”

You pecked his lips after, before shifting your position on the mattress, sitting up against the bed frame, and looked down at him. Billy yawns again, until he finally got up to sit beside you.

“You finally awake?” You ask, smirking lightly at him.

“Yeah,” he answered, nodding.

The faint sun rays through the window, peeking through the blinds, were now burning against the two of you with its parallel lines. The light on Billy’s eyes revealed the warm, lighter shade of hazel, which you adored intensely.

“So, what’s the plan for today?” You inquire, lightly biting your pinky nail in thought. “We can go get breakfast at this diner… I saw it when we were driving here, we could stop there before we hit the road again.”

Ever since the incident, you two had made it your goal to drive from upstate New York to Wyoming. It brought several restless nights, motel stays, and even shoplifting to your daily routine.

In the first week he came back to you from his attempted gas station robbery, Billy was slightly distant. He didn’t tell you much about what had happened. But by the second week, he finally opened up to you. Your heart nearly shattered as you found out what happened to him. A part of you wished that he took you with him, but he insisted at the time, saying how dangerous it would be—especially if he encountered the biker gang. Yet a part of you also believed that you should’ve came with him anyway, that you failed him because of it, that you couldn’t keep him safe in that moment. But right now, all you could think of was how grateful you were for Billy being safe and alive, coming back to you, his home.

He pursed his lips, briefly thinking of your proposal. “Yeah. Yeah, we can do that,” he smiles softly at you. In the first week he came back, he also barely ever smiled or laughed. So seeing him genuinely smile meant a lot to you.

“Yeah?” You chuckle, a grin creeping on the corner of your lips.

“Yeah.”

Billy stares at you for a while, essentially gazing at your face. He was mesmerized by your eyes, getting lost into them until he noticed every detail, every eyelash. He watched you blink softly, as your eyelashes fluttered and brushed against your skin. The longer he looked at you, the warmer he felt inside. Like he was safe. You noticed his prolonged staring, and laughed softly to yourself. “What? What is it? Do I—Do I have something on my face?”

Billy only grins warmly at your words, chuckling softly under his breath. “No, uh… You’re just…” He shakes his head. “You are so beautiful, Y/n.”

And in this moment, you could barely form your appreciation in words, so instead, your lips pressed onto his, kissing him deeply and expressing your love for him. “You’re adorable,” you snicker lowly after a scoff.

The kiss progresses, and Billy’s hand cupped the back of your neck, bringing his lips to your throat, kissing the skin all around it. You giggle from the ticklish sensations and moved your head up to give him more access as he kissed and sucked at your neck. You bit your lip and let out a small hum as he nibbled, sucking longer on some areas.

“Oh, you’re definitely awake now,” you chuckle, letting a hand reach the back of his head to rub his hair.

“Thought I already told you,” he mumbled before crashing his lips onto yours once again, letting his tongue run against your bottom lip before parting them. He tasted sweet against your tongue, making you feel giddy inside.

“Yeah, but you always say that and then fall back asleep,” you retort playfully in between soft kisses. He pulls his lips away from yours and lets his hands rub your waist under your shirt before pulling it off of you. You realized that this was the first time he initiated anything in this sense ever since the gas station. He was making progress, you noted, and ultimately, you were so proud of him.

“Yeah, well,” he snickers, pressing his lips to yours once more, “you try driving from New York to Wyoming.”

Your kisses against his lips came to a halt as you slapped his shoulder playfully. “Hey, I drive too!”

“Only sometimes,” he remarks, pulling his own shirt off then chasing your lips for another kiss. “You’re literally a passenger princess, baby.”

“So what if I am?” You retort with a wide, amused grin.

The two of you make out on the bed, feeling his hands run up and down the bare skin of your waist, fingers teasing the waistband of your pants. Kissing him softly, your hand reaches down to his waist, then further down, tugging on his pants and—

“Wait,” he whimpers.

Billy was very stiff, and his hand was instantly grasped onto your wrist, stopping you from pulling his pants down. Your face backs up away from his to look at him and observe his actions. His head was looking down shamefully, and you immediately pulled your hand away from his pants. Terrible flashbacks invaded his mind for a split, horrifying second: darkness, restraint, and fear. His feelings of being used, being exposed, his devastating helplessness.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, shaking his head slowly. “I can’t, I’m sorry, I—”

“Hey, hey, hey,” you stutter out, cupping his face gently. “Hey… It’s okay.”

“No… No, it’s not, I—I really thought I was ready, but… but then I felt you tug on my pants, and all I could think about was….” He trailed off lamentably, and you saw the sheer pain in his glassy eyes and through his frown.

“Hey, no, if anyone’s sorry, it should be me, Billy, okay?” Your brought his face closer up to yours with your hands.

“I really wanted to try. For you…. a-and for me. I really thought I was ready this time, b-but—”

“Hey,” you say softly, yet loudly, instantly grounding him. “You at least tried, and you’ve made so much progress, and I am so proud of you, Billy.” You find his shirt that was on the mattress and put it back on him, doing the same with your own clothes afterwards. “It’s okay. We can just lay here, alright?” He nods quietly. “Is it okay if I touch you here?” You gestured to his arms and shoulders. He nodded, humming a yes. But that wasn’t enough for you. “Words, please, honey.”

“Yes,” he replies in a murmur, which granted you to pull him against you in a hug, cradling his head. Billy sniffles and hearing that broke your heart. “I actually thought I was ready.”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, okay? You don’t have to be ready immediately, you can take your time. It’s alright, it’s okay,” you console swiftly, rubbing his hair gently. “We don’t have to do anything.”

The room was completely silent, except for Billy’s faint sniffles, contrasting from the moments of before. “I… I just… I don’t know.”

You frown, beginning to caress his hair with your fingers. “It wasn’t your fault,” you whisper urgently. It was important for him to know that, to believe it. “Nothing was and it never will be. You didn’t do anything wrong. You shouldn’t be sorry for anything.”

He stays quiet for a while. He felt so small in your arms.

“You’re safe now, okay? You’re here with me. I would never do anything you didn’t want, okay? Whenever you’re ready, I’ll wait for you,” you reassure him, letting his soft, brown strands tickle your fingertips.

“I feel like I’m always gonna be like this, react like this,” he mutters painfully. “I feel like I’m broken.”

“No, Billy, you’re not—”

“I am,” his voice cracks, and you only cradle his head closer in your neck. He felt like there was something wrong with him ever since. He couldn’t do this for you and he felt horrible. “Things are just never going to be like they were before, back to normal, and-and we-we can’t—”

“You’re still you,” you cooed softly, stroking his hair gently as his head rested on your chest. “Anyone who would have experienced what you experienced would feel the same way. Scared… hurt… Hey. I love you, okay? You’re safe, you’re safe now. Nobody’s gonna hurt you anymore.”

“I… I can’t be what you need. I don’t deserve you.”

“Hey, no… no…” You continued to caress his hairline, watching his eyes stare into oblivion. “You deserve me as much as I deserve you, okay? Only you are what I need. Nothing else from you, just you. I’ll love you for anything you are. I’ll always be patient with you. Sex barely defines our love. I’ll wait for you, I’ll be here. Whatever you need, tell me. I’m here for you, I’m always here for you.”

Billy sighs softly. “Please, just… just don’t leave me,” he whimpers desperately.

“Never,” you immediately reply. “I’ll be beside you the whole time, okay? We’ll get through this together, my love.”

He nods silently in response.

“It wasn’t your fault,” you repeated in a whisper.

He pauses for a while. “I know.”

But did he?

You continued stroking his head, whispering affirmations and words of reassurance. His eyes were closed and he indulged in your sweet touch. He had felt so polluted, but your soft caress and affectionate mutters made him feel clean. He felt so sick the more he thought of the incident at Paradise Pumps, but your presence calmed him down like a remedy. You were there to support him. And of course your goal wasn’t to “fix” him—after all, he wasn’t ever broken to begin with. As you said, he was still him. And what happened to him, shouldn’t have happened to him.

You thought you should distract him from any more memories he’s had, so you kiss his forehead lightly and spoke to him serenely. “You know, the diner I mentioned? I saw, like, a pretty big sign advertising, like, blueberry pancakes.”

“Oh yeah?” He mumbles softly.

“Yeah. Your favorite,” you hum. “How about… I drive us there as soon as we’re fully up… and you can get those ‘deluxe’ pancakes. I know we have to save money and we said before that we shouldn’t spend too much on leisure, but… it’s my treat for you, alright? We can always, like, pickpocket shitty rich guys. Sound good, love?”

The way you talked to him had warmed his heart. He felt so comfortable, so safe. He knew you’d never hurt him, never terrify him. And not only that, but he felt loved. So loved, like never before. Your efforts to distract him from his pain with tranquility had subsequently calmed him down.

“That’d be amazing, angel,” he says with a clearer voice this time, head proceeding to lay on your chest. “Thank you.”

“Of course, baby. I love you so much, okay? And maybe you can be the passenger princess for today, yeah?” You offer, moving your hand to rub his cheek softly with your thumb, feeling his warm skin against it.

“Oh, god, you’re gonna kill us both if you drive on the freeway,” he jokes with a tired chuckle, making you smile to yourself. You were glad to hear him joke after this, glad to hear him laugh.

“Hey, that’s why I don’t drive us often, so don’t complain about me being the passenger princess all the time,” you retort playfully, yet kissing the top of his head twice.

“Whatever,” he mumbles sweetly. His head was laid onto your chest and he could hear the steady, constant heartbeats that belonged to you. It comforted him. Your existence, your aliveness, your presence. The fact that you were there with him, that he was with you, reminded him that he was going to be okay, as long as you were there with him.

He loved listening to the sound of your heartbeat; trying to sync his own breaths and pulse with yours as he laid on you gently. The sun was brighter through the blinds, a soft yellow-orange now occupying the warm motel room.

“I love you so much,” he finally says, realizing that he forgot to say it back from all the previous banter. You affectionately kiss the top of his head again in response.

Billy didn’t want to think about anything more. He just wanted to be held, to feel loved, and you granted him that. He wanted to feel everything, to hear everything in this moment. Your delicate fingertips against his head and face, caressing him gently as he hears your soft breaths and whispers of affection. And so, all of this confirmed one thing: it was going to be okay.

He was going to be okay.

-

April is S.A. Awareness and Prevention month: please don’t be afraid to ask for help.

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673

Resources

If anybody needs to hear this: It wasn’t your fault.

[deliciousangelfestival]

Past Connections || B.Barnes

Summary: Just a simple story where CEO Bucky meets his ex-girlfriend.

Character: CEO Bucky x ex-girlfriend!Reader

Main Masterlist

A/N: I'm sorry if it's not good. I have writer's block again. Or perhaps it's because I'm too tired after coming back from my hometown.

Please leave a comment or reblog to motivate me again. 🥺🙏🏻

As Bucky sat inside the office room, his attention was laser-focused on the document in front of him. No one dared to disturb Bucky's concentration until the intrusive ringing of his phone shattered the silence of the room.

Bucky's phone rang, and he glanced at the caller ID, recognizing it as Steve's number. "Hey, Steve," he answered, his tone already conveying his readiness to help.

"Hey, Bucky, sorry to bother you, but I need a huge favor," Steve's voice sounded strained over the line.

"No problem, what's up?" Bucky replied, concern creeping into his voice.

"It's Peggy. She went into labor earlier than expected, and I'm stuck at the hospital with her. Can you pick up Mark from school for me?" Steve explained quickly, his words punctuated by background hospital noises.

Bucky's instinct to help his friend kicked in immediately. "Of course, Steve, don't worry about it. I'll head over to the school right now," he reassured him, already mentally rearranging his schedule.

But just as he was about to end the call, Steve's voice hurriedly added, "Oh, and one more thing, Bucky. Mark got into a bit of trouble at school. His homeroom teacher wants to meet with his guardian or parents."

Bucky's eyebrows shot up in surprise at the additional information. "Trouble? What happened?" he inquired, concern lacing his tone.

Steve sighed heavily on the other end of the line. "It's nothing serious, just a small incident in class. But the teacher insists on speaking with someone responsible," he explained, his words slightly muffled by the background hospital noises.

Bucky nodded, already mentally preparing himself for the unexpected turn of events. "Got it. I'll take care of Mark and meet with his teacher," he assured Steve, determination firm in his voice.

He ended the call and gathered his things to head out, Bucky couldn't help but wonder what kind of trouble his nephew had gotten himself into this time.

As Bucky found himself navigating the chaotic world of elementary school pickups, he couldn't help but chuckle at the absurdity of the situation.

Elementary school was the last place he ever thought he'd find himself, especially after pulling consecutive all-nighters at the office. With dark circles under his eyes and a caffeine-induced jitteriness that threatened to rival a squirrel on espresso, Bucky wondered if he'd accidentally stumbled into a parallel universe.

##########

As Bucky stepped into Mark's classroom, he heard a gentle female voice emanating from the front of the room. The sound was oddly familiar, tugging at his memories.

His heart skipped a beat when he realized the source of the voice – it was you, Mark's teacher, and his former girlfriend.

You looked up from your desk, your eyes widening in surprise as you recognized Bucky standing in the doorway. "Bucky?" you exclaimed, momentarily taken aback by his unexpected appearance.

Bucky's expression softened as he met your gaze. "Hey," he greeted, a mixture of emotions flickering across his face. "It's been a while."

You nodded, a small smile playing at the corners of your lips. "Yeah, it has," you agreed, motioning for him to come closer. "Come on in. Take a seat."

As Bucky made his way to an empty desk, you couldn't help but feel a rush of nostalgia at the sight of him. "So, um, what brings you here?" you asked, trying to break the awkward tension that hung in the air.

Bucky shifted in his seat, a faint blush creeping up his cheeks. "Steve asked me to pick up Mark," he explained, glancing over at the young boy who was engrossed in his coloring book.

You nodded understandingly. "Ah, I see. Well, it's good to see you," you said sincerely, reaching out to shake his hand. "I'm glad you stopped by."

Bucky returned the handshake, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Yeah, me too," he admitted, feeling a sense of warmth wash over him in your presence.

Bucky cleared his throat, breaking the silence. "So, uh, Mark is in trouble?" he asked. Not forgettingthe reason why he came here.

"You know," you began, correcting Bucky gently, "there was an incident, but it wasn't caused by Mark. It was the other kid." Your gaze shifted to Mark, who seemed to shrink under your scrutiny, a tinge of guilt evident in his expression. "Mark helped his classmates, but in a unique way."

Bucky felt a flutter in his chest as he caught sight of your smile, a familiar warmth washing over him at the sight of you. "What happened, Mark?" he prompted, turning his attention to the young boy.

Mark let out a huff, his cheeks flushing with embarrassment. "These kids who are taller than my classmate Candy, they were bullying her. Making fun of her missing tooth. It wasn't nice," he explained, his voice tinged with indignation. "So, I..." he trailed off, a hint of hesitation in his tone.

"Go on," Bucky encouraged gently, sensing the weight of the situation.

Mark squared his shoulders, his gaze meeting Bucky's. "I pushed down the bookshelf to the ground," he admitted, his words hanging in the air like a heavy cloud. "It made everyone shocked. I didn't want to fight them because it would make things worse. If I fought them, they might lose their front teeth like Candy too." Mark's voice wavered slightly as he recounted the events.

Bucky nodded, a sense of pride swelling within him. "Good job, Mark," he praised, offering the boy a reassuring smile.

You watched the exchange between Bucky and Mark, a mixture of curiosity and admiration flickering in your eyes.

Bucky gently ruffled Mark's hair, a fond smile gracing his lips. "You're not wrong, kiddo," he replied warmly. "I'll make sure to tell your dad the whole story."

Mark's expression softened with relief. "Thank you, Uncle Bucky," he said gratefully, his eyes shining with genuine appreciation.

Bucky nodded, giving Mark's shoulder a reassuring squeeze before turning to you. "Wait in my car, Mark. I want to have a private chat with your teacher," he instructed, his tone firm yet gentle.

As Mark obediently made his way out of the classroom, Bucky turned back to you, a serious expression replacing his previous warmth. "I need to talk to you about Mark," he began, his voice low and earnest. "It seems like he's been through some changes since I last saw him, and I want to make sure he's on the right path."

You nodded, your own concern mirrored in your eyes. "Of course, Bucky. Let's talk," you agreed, gesturing for him to take a seat at one of the desks.

Bucky leaned forward slightly, his brow furrowed with concern. "Mark's father admitted to me that he hasn't been giving enough attention to Mark since his mother got pregnant with their second child," he confessed, his voice tinged with regret. "I'm worried about how it's been affecting him."

You shook your head sympathetically, a frown creasing your forehead. "That's tough," you sighed, your heart going out to the young boy. "But from what I've seen, Mark is a good kid. In fact, he's been telling everyone how excited he is to meet his baby sister."

A sense of relief washed over Bucky at your words, a weight lifting off his shoulders. "Really?" he asked, a hint of surprise coloring his voice.

You nodded, a small smile playing at the corners of your lips. "Yeah, he's been talking about her non-stop. It's clear that he cares about his family," you assured him, your tone softening with empathy.

Bucky's expression softened as he absorbed your reassurance, a sense of gratitude filling him. "Thanks for letting me know," he said sincerely, feeling a renewed sense of hope for Mark's well-being.

###########

Bucky leaned back in his seat, his gaze lingering on you with a mixture of concern and curiosity. "By the way, how have you been doing?" he asked, his voice softening as he searched your eyes for a glimpse of the life you'd been leading since their breakup.

You met his gaze, a hint of nostalgia flickering in your eyes. "I've been keeping busy," you replied, a wistful smile touching your lips. "After we went our separate ways, I decided to travel the world and teach wherever I could."

Bucky nodded, a sense of admiration mingling with the lingering affection he felt for you. "That sounds amazing," he remarked, genuine interest coloring his tone. "Meanwhile, I've been knee-deep in the world of IT, trying to keep up with the latest tech trends."

You nodded sympathetically, understanding the demands of his career. "Sounds like a handful," you commented, a note of empathy in your tone. "But knowing you, I'm sure you're killing it."

Your gaze couldn't help but linger on the pronounced bags under his eyes, a stark reminder of his relentless dedication to work. You remembered all too well how his workaholic tendencies had driven a wedge between the two of you, one of the reasons for your breakup.

Unable to ignore the concern gnawing at your heart, you gently reached out to Bucky, your voice soft with worry. "Bucky, you really need to get some sleep," you urged, your eyes reflecting genuine concern for his well-being.

Bucky let out a tired chuckle, his exhaustion evident in the lines etched on his face. "You're one of the closest people who could give me an order," he admitted with a weary smile, acknowledging the bond that still lingered between them despite the passage of time.

You watched him with a mixture of fondness and concern, you couldn't help but feel a surge of affection for the man sitting before you.

As Bucky lingered in the classroom, enjoying the easy banter with you, he couldn't shake the nagging feeling that he should probably head back to the car where Mark was waiting.

With a reluctant sigh, he finally stood up from his seat, a small smile lingering on his lips. "Well, it's been great catching up with you," he said, his tone tinged with regret as he prepared to say goodbye.

You returned his smile, a hint of mischief glinting in your eyes. "Likewise. Don't be a stranger," you replied, a playful glimmer in your voice.

As Bucky made his way out of the classroom and back to the car, he found Mark waiting with his arms crossed, a knowing look on his face. "You like my teacher?" the young boy quipped, a smirk playing at the corners of his lips.

Mark shrugged, his expression innocent. "Dad said whenever a woman gets near you, you'll walk away. But you stayed a while with my teacher," he pointed out, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.

Bucky couldn't help but chuckle at Mark's observation, ruffling the boy's hair affectionately. "Just call me whenever you get into trouble, okay?" he said, trying to steer the conversation away from his own embarrassment.

Mark narrowed his eyes, a playful smirk spreading across his face. "Uncle Bucky, you're using me to meet my teacher," he teased, enjoying the upper hand in the situation.

Bucky chuckled, unable to deny Mark's astute observation. "Hmm, maybe just a little," he conceded, shooting Mark a knowing look.

"I won't be a troublemaker anymore. I'm a good kid. I want to be the best big brother to my sister," Mark declared proudly, his determination shining through.

Bucky nodded, a sense of pride swelling within him at Mark's sincerity. "I know you are, kiddo," he replied, feeling a surge of affection for the young boy.

Since that day, Bucky offered himself to pick up Mark after school as an excuse to meet you again.

[autisticlancemcclain]

The first bout of whispering, Shiro can ignore. He’s a teacher by trade, after all. Astronaut, sure. Paladin, even. But he always expected to be a teacher, trained for it, and he knows when you put a group of teenagers in a room and expect them to start learning by lecture, there’s going to be some whispering. He’d be concerned if there wasn’t, frankly.

But as it keeps happening, again and again, to the point where it’s almost constant, Shiro begins to lose his patience.

“Lance, Hunk,” he says, catching himself long before then. He tries to smile, gentle but firm. “Everything okay?”

The two boys clam up immediately. Lance even begins to lean slightly away from Hunk, although Shiro’s not sure he notices.

Shiro frowns, puzzled at the reaction. That’s — uncommon. He’s seen embarrassed, seen sheepish, seen unbothered, even seen downright rude, but Lance looks almost… afraid. And Hunk looks at him with a lot more anxiety than the situation calls for, but Shiro is beginning to notice that that’s just Hunk.

The both mutter some semblance of apology, and Shiro moves on quickly, unwilling to dwell on the incident too long.

For the rest of the briefing, he keeps an eye on them. He’s still focused, of course, as their break-in and recon on a nearby Empire warship is not only hugely dangerous, but will also be hugely beneficial, but he lets his notes do a lot of the talking for him. He flits his eyes to the pair every so often, and while Hunk meets his eyes on occasion, smiling slightly, Lance keeps his head down, hunched over his tablet.

Shiro notices that the tablet is powered off. He doesn’t write a single note.

His shoulders are hunched up to his ears.

———

“Alright, kiddo, good job.”

Keith grins, stepping backwards and bowing to finish the fight. Shiro bows back, matching his smile.

“You did great.”

“I know,” Keith says cheekily. “You’re getting easier and easier to beat. Probably because you’re elderly.”

Shiro raises an eyebrow. “Am I.”

His annoying little brother hums, completely unconcerned. He steps off to the side and starts swinging around his training stick, very clearly showing off. “Mhm. It was super easy to fight you. I just went whoosh, smack, bam! —” he punctuates every sound with a swing and slash of the stick — “and every hit just landed. Honestly, I think a punching bag would have been more of a challenge. Adam is a way better spar partner than you. I wish I was shot into space with him.”

Shiro’s eye twitches. It’s a clear goad, he knows it is. Keith isn’t even trying to hide it. He’s a twerp with too much energy and too much experience pressing all of Shiro’s buttons — a favourite button of his, of course, being the bit of…healthy competition Shiro has always had with his boyfriend.

(He’s well aware of the irony. He hears Adam pointing and laughing in his head every time he endures Keith’s complaining about Lance pulling his mullet, so to speak. In fact keeping his mouth shut about the parallels is the only thing keeping him from throwing Keith down the laundry chute. He’s waiting for a moment when the reveal can be well and truly devastating.)

Shiro manages, with herculean strength, to step away from his turd of a brother, putting his training stick away.

“I am leaving,” he says loudly, pointedly turning away. “I said I’d train one hour with you and not a second more.”

He feels Keith’s pout more than sees it. “Coward.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Shiro snorts, waving his hand dismissively. He hears swishing sounds, and the clicks of buttons — Keith is starting up his own training. Again. “Don’t be late for dinner or I’ll send Lance after you.”

“Can’t promise I won’t maim him,” Keith mutters. “Sometimes I just want to wring his neck.”

Shiro is very familiar with that feeling. Or at least the raving about it. He used to feel great pleasure in driving Adam to that point, just because he was hot when he was mad. But Shiro values his limbs — or at least what’s left of them — where they are, so he keeps the comments to himself as he makes his way out of the training room, meandering back to his own quarters.

He takes his time showering and redressing, knowing he’s got some time before dinner. He thinks Hunk even managed to wrestle Coran out of the kitchen, which means no food goo. It also means that he’s banned from even breathing near the kitchen until the food is fully cooked and completed — which is a bullshit ban and one based in false accusations — but he’s sure he can help set the table, or something. Stir a pot. He’s good at that.

He towels off his hair, not bothering to style it, and takes his time walking over to the kitchens. The castle floors are cold under his bare feet, he finds himself wishing he had the lion slippers Lance made him. They’re very warm. He never wears them because he’s terrified of ruining them, but it’s so icy in here that he might start having to, or else he’ll freeze.

As he approaches the kitchen, he hears voices. He freezes, quieting his steps and pausing behind the wall to listen. Hopefully no one else walks by, or that will be humiliating.

“— all you have to do is ask, Lance, just casually, it’s not even —”

“— it is even, Hunk, it’s the worst and I’m not doing it, why would I inconvenience —”

“— it isn’t! Not even a little! It’s the smallest tiniest thing!”

“Hunk —”

Hunk throws his hands up in exasperation, spoon going flying and splattering some kind of blue sauce all over the cabinets. Neither of them even blinks at it.

“I am tired of watching you struggle, Leandro! Heaven forbid you ask for help!”

Shiro frowns. That’s not good. That sounds serious.

“I asked for help,” Lance huffs, arms crossed over his chest. “I asked you, didn’t I?”

“I don’t count and you know it,” Hunk says sharply, mirroring him. “I already knew.”

Lance looks away, clenching his jaw. His fingers are tangled in his jacket’s sleeve, tense.

“You don’t have to help anymore if it’s too hard,” he mumbles. “I can handle it myself.”

Hunk softens. “It’s not that, Lance.” He wipes his hands in his apron and pulls Lance to his chest. Lance goes, although he doesn’t move his arms, burying his face in Hunk’s shoulder. “You know it’s not that. If that’s all we have then I’ll keep doing it, damn the consequences.” He pulls back slightly, nudging Lance back so he can look him in the face. “You can just do better, dude. All you gotta do is tell Shiro about your —”

A hand claps over Hunk’s mouth, cutting him off, and Lance squeaks, “Hey, Shiro, hello, hi!”

Shiro startles. He scrambles upright before Hunk turns all the way, so at least he’s only seen crouching by the door like a weirdo by one person.

He clears his throat. “Uh, hi.”

“You’re banned from the kitchen,” Hunk says, muffled. How he looks so mighty and dignified with Lance’s hands still very much pressed to his face is well and truly beyond him. Shiro is frankly awed.

“I just came to help set the table,” he assures, hands held up in surrender. “Promise I’ll stay away from the actual food.”

Hunk narrows his eyes, but must decide he could use the help, because he nods, stepping backwards so Lance’s hands fall back down.

“Alright,” he sighs. “I’m making stew. You can set out utensils if you must but know I’ll judge you heavily for it. Lance, come help me finish up.”

Lance scrambles after him, avoiding Shiro’s gaze like he’s sure he’s going to get yelled at. Shiro watches him go, perplexed.

———

The next few days are, for the most part, manageable. Their mission goes well, Keith is surprisingly mellow — Shiro suspects the little nerd has discovered a library of some kind — and distress calls are minimal. All in all, Shiro should be taking the time as the blessing it is and catching up on some much needed R&R.

Instead, he’s worrying about the Blue Paladin.

Shiro can’t say he knows him well. They’ve hardly been in space a couple of months, after all, and while Shiro must have taught him a couple times — he was in the piloting program so it’s almost impossible that they didn’t cross paths — the Garrison is huge, and Shiro largely teachers younger students. Shiro can’t recall teaching a Lance, anyway.

But he can tell something’s off.

Besides the fact that Hunk keeps looking at Lance with concern, the Cuban seems…withdrawn, almost. He still works hard in training and smokes them in any kind of long distance, but there doesn’t seem to be any joy in it. Even his arguments with Keith seem halfhearted, which Keith will never admit leave him agitated as much as it has Shiro’s eyebrows raising. Shiro is sure, basically, that something is the matter, and surer still that he has to be the one to fix it.

How exactly he should go about it…well, that’s the part he’s struggling with. He knows Lance is kind of star-eyed around him, even though they’re on the same playing field, so Shiro’s not sure just regular talking to him about it is going to do something. And he seemed pretty resistant when Hunk pressed, in the conversation Shiro overheard. He’s just not sure what to do.

Luckily, the situation starts to resolve itself.

“Hey, Shiro, can I talk to you?” Lance mumbles into his breakfast, as everyone else is distracted by Pidge and Keith’s loud argument about cryptids (Shiro has heard it too many times at this point. He’s tuned it out).

Shiro blinks. “Sure,” he says, trying to keep the shock out of his voice. “Now?”

“Uh, after we eat, maybe.”

Shiro tries very hard not to seem over enthusiastic. He sucks at that, so it doesn’t work, and it seems to make Lance more stressed, which only stresses Shiro out more. By the time everyone has finished up and people are starting to file out to various tasks, the tension between them is so thick Shiro feels as if he might suffocate.

Suddenly, as if he propelled himself, Lance springs to his feet, snatching his bowl and Shiro’s and powerwalking towards the kitchen sink. Shiro, startled, follows him.

“You okay?” Shiro asks softly, noticing the whiteness of Lance’s knuckles, clenched around a sponge, and the robotic way he scrubs it across a dirty spoon.

Lance says nothing. He keeps his eyes trained resolutely on the soapy water, spine ramrod straight, nerves bleeding from him in waves.

Hesitantly, Shiro rolls up his sleeves, standing beside him and beginning to dry what he rinses. As Shiro gets close he gets tenser, shoulders hiked up to his ears, but as the minutes drag on, empty kitchen echoing the sound of swishing water and clanking cutlery, he begins to calm down. Shiro watches his face relax, easing its worries twist, and terror fade from his brown eyes.

He hands Shiro the last clean dish to dry, then pulls the plug on the sink, darting over to grab a hand towel and starting to dry.

“Can you write mission plans in pink?”

The words rush out of him, like he’d been holding them between his teeth for God knows how long and they’d finally spilled out. He looks almost nauseous after he says them.

Shiro blinks. That was…not what he’d expected.

“…Why?”

“It’s perfectly okay if you can’t,” Lance continues, as if Shiro had not spoken. “I mean, whatever. I’ll figure it out. I’ve gone without this long, after all, and it’s totally doable. Of course there’s the migraines and the agony but that’s all light work. It’s war, after all. Ha.” He chuckles nervously.

He’s shrunk in on himself, looking almost small. Shiro stares at him with a dropped jaw and wide eyes. Lance doesn’t even notice, eyes focused intensely on the hand towel, breathing worryingly erratic.

“I just swore to Hunk that I’d ask, you know. He said it wouldn’t hurt. And of course it wouldn’t but I don’t need it. It’s just. You know.”

Shiro cannot stress enough how much he doesn’t know. He hasn’t felt this lost in a while.

“Pink makes the letters stick to the page. And I know that sounds stupid as shit and that’s because it is stupid as shit, unfortunately. Dyslexia is the dumbest thing in the world, actually. And who named it that? You know how hard that word is to spell? It’s hard. They should have called it — I dunno, I just mean, it’s whatever. It’s fine. I’ve handled it this long. Uh.” He looks up, finally, and maybe he doesn’t know how to make sense of Shiro’s expression, because he winces, shame overtaking his face. He sets down the towel and gestures vaguely behind him, stepping towards the door. “I’m just gonna — go. Sorry. See you later. Sorry.”

He all but flees out of the room. Shiro barely manages to snag the back of his hoodie, holding him in place.

“Lance. Chill a second. Give me time to respond.”

Lance looks deploringly at the door, then back at Shiro. He looks like he’s accepting his death. Shiro can’t help but feel the teensiest bit offended.

“I’m not going to bite you,” he says, aghast. “Jesus, kid. You’re going to give me a complex.”

To Shiro’s great relief, the remark makes Lance grin. Some of the tension eases from his face.

“You sound like my mother.”

“From what I’ve heard, that’s a compliment,” Shiro says lightly. He pulls out two chairs, orienting them so they’re facing each other. He deliberately takes the one farthest from the door, so Lance doesn’t feel trapped. He gestures to the other one. “Sit.”

Lance does.

“Now. From the beginning and with a little less fear, hopefully. Tell me what’s up, kiddo.”

Lance looks down at his hands, where he’s picking at a scar on his wrist.

“Um. So. I have dyslexia. I can’t read too well.”

Lance cringes as he says it. Shiro wonders who he has to kill for putting the idea that this is something to be ashamed about in his head.

“Cool,” Shiro says, as encouragingly as he can manage. “The main character of my favourite book series as a kid had dyslexia. I was jealous of everyone who had it. I used to pray for it.”

The revelation startles a laugh out of Lance, like Shiro hoped it would. The tension melts right off of him.

“You prayed?”

“Every night,” Shiro affirms, grinning. “I even crossed my eyes and pretended when it didn’t work. My mother didn’t believe me for a second.”

“You’re a dweeb,” Lance says, sounding kind of awed. Like he’s shocked that Shiro, too, is a nerd loser on this castle full of other nerd losers. “Dyslexia sucks.”

Letting his face settle into something more serious, Shiro nods. “I imagine it does.” He reaches over and squeezes Lance’s hand, subtly stopping him from picking at the skin. Keith has the same bad habit. “Writing in pink helps?”

Lance shrugs. “Sorta. Dunno why. But things are less squiggly when they’re written in pink or red. Not perfect, but it’s something. I can hardly read at all when they’re in black; it’s like my eyes are spinning out of my head trying to focus on ‘em. Gives me migraines like you would not imagine.”

“And thus Hunk whispering the plans to you so you don’t have to read them,” Shiro surmises, the whispering during briefings suddenly making sense. Guilt twinges in his belly.

“Yeah. Sorry about that, by the way. Didn’t mean to be rude.”

“Of course not,” Shiro says gently. “I get it now. Sorry for not understanding.” He frowns, remembering something. “I should’ve asked beforehand. Or suspected something, or known better, really. I had a kid a few years back in one of my astronomy courses. Li-something. I marked all his stuff in red for the same reasons.”

Lance makes a very particular face. Warning bells go off in Shiro’s head.

“I appreciated that very much,” Lance says politely.

It takes a moment for it to click.

Shiro considers banging his head against the table.

“Please tell me no,” he begs, ears reddening.

“It was a great honour to be renamed by the Takashi Shirogane,” Lance insists.

“I had you in my class for three years!” Shiro says, aghast. “I — I called you Li all the time! In front of people!”

“I didn’t want to correct you! That’s — embarrassing!”

Shiro cradles his head in his hands. Dear God. He knows he’s not great with names, but — Jesus. To rename a kid. Blatantly. Other teachers must have thought he was some cruel jackass.

“I think there was a Li McKinney ahead of me in roll call,” Lance offers, patting Shiro’s back delicately. “So. Pretty easy to mess up.”

“Did you write your name as Li on tests? And assignments?”

“After the first couple times, yeah. Hunk laughed at me. At a certain point I’d just dug myself too deep, I think.”

Shiro sighs, dragging his hand down his face. It’s still quite hot. He looks up at Lance, who’s mouth is twitching.

“You were short as shit back then,” he observes, trying to picture the kid in his class. “Like, shorter than Pidge.”

Lance scowls. “I was — saving up on growth spurts. Yeah. So. Purge that from your memory.” He smirks. “Like my name.”

Shiro groans. “I’m never hearing the end of that, am I.”

Lance smiles. “Probably not. I didn’t know you were uncool. It’s interesting. I’m seeing you in a whole new light.”

Shiro rolls his eyes, but reaches over to mess with Lance’s hair, like he would Keith. Unlike Keith, Lance freaks out way harder, screeching something about hard work and artistic expression.

He smiles. “Glad you came to talk to me, kid.”

Lance sticks out his tongue, but he looks pleased, too. “Yeah, yeah.”

[pencileraser1]

things i noticed/thoughts about most recent rewatches of dps (plus laserdisk deleted scenes):

whenever theres a group scene i've started watching the characters that the story isn't focusing on to see what they do and i've been having a fun time with that. pitts and cameron specifically seem to almost always be doing something interesting in the background.

hopkins!!!! my favorite minor character who somehow got character development despite having like 2 lines!!!! the last guy to stand on the desk but he did it!!!

sometimes i do like to think about what the rest of the students thought about the dead poets society, esp in alternate timeline neil lives dps keeps meeting universe. like yeah theres this guy in their class whose one of the most credited students in the school and we think he maybe started a cult. idk though. but that group runs out into the woods every few days to do god knows what and one of them keeps talking about "dead poets honor" whatever that means and holy shit welton star student neil perry started a cult.

i watched the movie with headphones. and maybe it's because ive seen this movie Far too many times and mabe i'm listening too hard but it was Really obvious sometimes when audio was added in post production. llke in the sweaty toothed madman scene when you can hear laughing and to be fair the camera is behind their heads. but it does Not look like anyone's laughing. my favorite is at the end of the phone call to chris scene where knox is like i'm gonna seize the day!! and runs up the stairs and the poets are cheering him on and neil is sort of yelling "carpe!!!!" and i could be wrong but i'm like 75% certain that the person singing is Also rsl so now neil is just speaking two times at once somehow. anyways it didn't ruin the experience for me or anything it was maybe just a little bit funny to notice but very sorry if this did ruin anyone's viewing.

people talk a lot about how rsl and ethan hawke really made their characters what they are but i have to add dylan kussman to that list. I get the impression that older versions of the movie didn't really give as much depth to cameron and watching dylan kussmans performance is like. he Knew who his character was so fucking well and it shows!! like the deleted scene of them getting clubs assigned. like i could tell So Much about cameron from that scene

for how little she actually appeared, there is an emphasis put on the fact that neil's mom smokes pretty frequently. and i think that's interesting considering neil is one of two poets shown actively smoking. neil's mom doesn't appear for very long in the movie but during that time it definitely seems like the movie is intentionally making parallels between the two, particularly in the last argument with neil's father. neil and his mother are both sitting for almost the whole time, which contrasts with his father who is standing. they are both almost powerless in this scene. they stand up at almost the same time. anyways there's a couple different possibilities for what this could mean? that i've though of? 1. to show that neil's mother is in a similar situation to the one neil is in in regards to neil's father and 2. maybe a stretch here but the theory that neil inherited his mental illness at least partially from his mother. i'm pretty sure 1 was fully intentional on the directors part, not entirely sure about 2 though

unmanned flying desket scene: it's probably cause he and ethan wrote the scene themselves but the way rsl talks in this scene feels more like the way he talks in general than the rest of the script. like briefly neil perry is talking in rsl's voice. one of my absolute favorite scenes though the sarcastic dialogue is so good.

the light of knowledge at the first shot of the film vs. todd standing on his desk at the last shot of the film paralel

[malikselfindulgence]

TRAFFIC LIGHT TRIO X READER STUDY DATE HEADCANONS [seperate + all together!]

Content: reader is gender neutral, could be interpreted as either romantic or platonic

Headcanons under the cut!

RED SON:

☆ tries his best to keep you actually focused on the task at hand- doesn't let you goof off, but will allow consistent breaks

☆ but alas, once you've asked him a single question he'll derail the conversation twenty times over until he's completely off-topic and explaining something not even in your curriculum

☆ not that you mind- it's nice seeing him get passionate over topics he's into

☆ he tends to get absorbed into whatever he's working on, so study dates are a good way to get him to eat and drink water regularly alongside you

☆ I headcanon him as autistic, so parallel play is one of his favorite things! Enjoys being in your company while you each do your own seperate thing

☆ gets very easily frustrated if you're studying something not in his field of expertise [think molecular biology, literature, world geography] and you ask for his help only for him to not understand the question

☆ now it's your turn to try and keep him focused instead of going on a long-winded rant about how he's very smart and knowledgeable and this book is actually stupid and also he's-

MEI:

☆ you get a surprising amount of work done when you're with her!

☆ Mei's pretty good at balancing work and fun- she knows when to leave you be so you can focus on your studies, and when to strike up a conversation so you don't get too bored or stressed out

☆ she has a study date playlist specifically for the both of you that she updates frequently- she tries to keep her rock/metal songs out of it so it doesn't startle you and break your attention

☆ she's very horrible at explaining things- you ask her to help you with a question and although she understands the concept, she uses such convoluted metaphors and analogies that leave you more confused than before

☆ she likes holding your hand or sitting in your lap while you both work- just touching you in some way

☆ comes up with funny abbreviations for things you have to memorise

☆ gives you little pecks/kisses every once in a while, and near the end of your date when you're both burnt out, she'll give you a sleepy cuddle session while flipping through your flash cards

MK:

☆ oh boy

☆ where do I even start

☆ half of it is spent trying to wrangle MK into his desk, and the other half is spent trying to get him to open his books

☆ has a surprising amount of niche hyper-specific knowledge about various subjects, but if you ask him about the basics his mind'll blank

☆ tries his best to make the environment as comfortable for you as possible- utensils all set, cushions for your back, snacks and drinks on the table, reminders to stretch so your back doesn't hurt

☆ playing loud music tends to help him settle down and get some work done- you have to be holding his hand so he doesn't fidget around, though

☆ doodles on your notebooks/sticky-notes, usually small sketches of you or of himself giving you a thumbs up, flowers, hearts, little messages about how you're doing super well and you're super smart. It's really endearing and helps keep your morale up

☆ his attention span is very very low [I headcanon him as having ADHD], so he has to take multiple breaks in between. If you're still working while his mind is un-focused he'll braid your hair to keep his hands busy

RED SON + MEI + MK:

☆ yeah, you're not getting anything done today

☆ Mei and Mk together are a force to be reckoned with- and Red Son only adds fuel to the fire

☆ Mei and Mk'll make stupid jokes, Red Son'll tell them to shut up so he can focus, they'll make fun of him, he'll reply with a defensive and louder insult, and the cycle repeats

☆ if you ask a question, everyone'll be fighting to try and take a look at your book and help

☆ cue ensuing argument that lasts well into 20 minutes because all of them have a different answer

☆ upon googling it, you tell them that they're all wrong, actually

☆ even though you end up not doing anything, it's still a lot of fun- they're moreso just normal hangouts with the false advertisement of being productive

☆ the only time you get any work done with them is if it's the night before finals and you have to cram- the stress radiating off of you keeps their mouths shut

[Reminder that requests are open!]