#This is a good first project though ^^ I might mess around with animations more in the future

[somegrumpynerd]

A little animation I made of Dream and Nightmare for fun, it's pretty short and simple but not bad for my second go at animation I think ^^

The music is from here, I highly recommend listening to the full thing cause it's so beautiful!

Quick explanation for the song and a gif version under the cut

So when I was first dipping my toes into utmv stuff like a year ago, I made a slideshow for my sister with a bunch of au Sanses, let her guess what kinda vibe she thought they had and then gave her a list of names/ aus to see if she could figure out who was who (she did surprisingly well and I'm proud of her).

Well, when I first showed her pictures of Dream her immediate reaction was "this guy looks like he's from zelda" and it's just always stuck with me. Somewhere along the way I started headcanoning Dream playing some kind of instrument when they were kids and when I heard the pan flute version of zelda's lullaby everything kind of fell into place.

So here they are, having a little moment of peace finally, brothers together again c:

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

A/N: based on an episode of Gilmore Girls

Eddie was sprawled out on his bed, strumming on his acoustic guitar, debating on whether he could get away with writing a ballad about Steve’s hair. He was in the middle of writing a chorus when his phone rang. Eddie grinned and picked up the receiver of his brand new Garfield phone.

"Heeelllo, this is Eddie Meowson speaking," Eddie said.

"Oh my god," Steve’s voice sounded from the other side. "You got the phone, didn't you?"

"Oh, yeah, baby," Eddie said and the other end went silent for a moment. "Hello?"

"Uh, I'd be laughing at that totally adorkable greeting, but I'm freaking out!" Steve exclaimed. "I have, uh, a situation."

"Now, Steve, don't be afraid of it. It's probably more scared of you than you are of it. It's supposed to get big like that, especially when you get excited. Now, I don't know what your mom and dad told you - ," Eddie grinned.

"Eddie! I know all about the birds and the bees! My nanny was the one who gave me the talk!" Steve yelled in frustration.

"Well, now, that's just sad," Eddie said.

"Why did I call you?!" Steve screamed.

"I don't know, big boy, why did you call me?" Eddie asked.

"You're good with animals, right?" He asked.

"Well, I'm able to approach the feral cat in the neighborhood without getting killed," he replied.

"Look, Dustin entrusted me with looking after his baby chicken. It's for a science project, and he really needs to ace it. He was supposed to do it this weekend, but his Aunt Kathy got into a car accident, so he's going with his mother to help her out. Anyway, he kind of dropped this in my lap, and it's not like I could say no to him, anyway. Jesus, I'm starting to sound like Robin. The bird got out, Eddie! I don't know how she did, but she did! I can't find her, and I don't want to look into our kid's cute but manipulative eyes and tell him that I lost his goddamn bird! Can you come help me or not?!" Steve shrieked.

"I'll do anything for you, sweetheart," he said and he meant it.

"Thanks, Eddie," he said softly. "I'll see you in a few."

Eddie gently set his guitar aside before leaping out of the bed with an excited holler. It was finally happening! Steve finally made the first move. . .after so many months of flirting, Eddie was starting to think that it was never going to happen. Really, though? A bird? He figured it would be a better excuse than that. Eddie's heart was pounding. He called Dustin their kid. Their kid. He has spent so many times over the last few months dreaming of bearing Steve Harrington his six little nuggets, despite the fact that Eddie had been born without the ability to give him that. . .unfortunately. He had chalked it up to the fact that Steve had saved his life, but Wayne had pointed out that thinking up baby names for future children probably meant that Eddie was in love with the man. Once again, Wayne was right. Eddie put on his best crop top and stuffed supplies in his jacket before rushing to the front door.

"Where are you going in such a hurry?" Wayne asked.

"I'm going to get my man," Eddie grinned.

"About goddamn time, you go any slower you'd be a snail," he replied.

"Ugh! Wayne! You're not as funny as you think you are!" Eddie shrieked.

He pulled up to Steve’s house and fixed his vest. He checked his breath before walking up to the front door. Eddie froze. Oh god, he didn't get any flowers. Just as he was about to turn around, the door opened, and he was yanked quickly inside. Steve slammed the door closed behind him.

"Oh, thank God, that you're here," Steve said.

"You're going to be saying a lot - wait, what was that sound?" Eddie asked. "I think your fire alarm might need some batteries."

"That's the baby chick! I can hear her somewhere, but she keeps escaping me!" Steve exclaimed.

Eddie looked at the mess around them and then at Steve.

"There's really a baby chick!" Eddie yelped.

"Yeah, of course there is!" Steve yelled.

Eddie flashed his dimples before slipping out of his vest and jacket.

"Let's find this chick. . . STELLLA!" Eddie yelled.

"Stella?" He asked.

"It's a good name for a chick," Eddie said. "At least, I think so."

"That name sounds familiar. Oh! It's one of the names on a list that you left here! Character name ideas?" Steve asked.

". . .yeah, something like that. . ."

Looking for a small yellow baby chicken was a lot more difficult than it should be. It shouldn't be faster than them and yet. . . Stella did not want to go back in her cage.

"Okay, look, I get it," Eddie said. "I wouldn't want to be caged either, but this situation right now means that you should definitely be locked up."

"Yeah, I don't think she understands any of that," Steve said.

"Do you want my help or not?" Eddie asked. "STEEELLLLA!"

Eddie felt Steve watching him as he began to make chirping noises.

"Really?"

"Shut up, Steve," Eddie said.

Stella was a tricky little girl. As soon as she had been spotted, she took off. Steve and Eddie both dove for her, but all they ended up doing was breaking things or running into each other.

"Come on, sweetheart," Eddie cooed as he moved towards the noise. "Come to Mummy and Daddy."

"We're not her parents, Eddie," Steve said.

"Well, she doesn't know that. Maybe that's what she's looking for. . .a family," Eddie said. "I'm starting to get a little attached to the shit. She's such a menace."

"Eddie! There she is!" Steve yelled.

"Shh! Don't scare her off! Oh, look at her. . .she's going to run again. You can see it in her beady little eyes," he whispered. "Hey, Stella, you don't have to worry about us. . .we're not going to eat you. . .not yet, anyway."

"Eddie!"

"I said we're NOT going to eat her!"

"Shit, Eddie, she's running again! Damn it!"

A little while later. . .

"GODDAMN IT! IT'S BEEN TWO FUCKING HOURS!" Eddie yelled.

"It's been 30 minutes, Eddie," Steve replied.

"Oh my god, time has lost all meaning!" Eddie groaning.

"Yeah, I don't think she's getting tired yet," Steve said.

"Okay, I take it back, Steve, I'm going to eat this fucking bird," Eddie growled.

CHIRP, CHIRP, CHIRP!

"I think she heard you," Steve muttered.

"No, baby, Mummy didn't mean it!" Eddie exclaimed. "I love you again! We can chill, hang out, talk about boys or girls if you prefer, or maybe you don't have a preference at all! Mummy doesn't judge!"

"Hm, okay, so you're the mother in situation," Steve said. "Hm, I thought it was going to be me."

"Of course, I'm the mother, Steve. Don't be ridiculous," Eddie said.

"Yeah, I'm the ridiculous one," Steve sighed. "Why do I even like - ?"

"GOT HER!" Eddie yelled.

They got her back into her cage without any effort. They made sure she got food and water before collapsing at the kitchen table. Steve looked at Eddie, studying him.

"Hey, why did you seem so surprised that there was a baby chick in here? Did you think that I was making it up?" Steve asked.

"Well, I mean, kind of. . . ," Eddie said, scratching the back of his head.

"Why?" Steve asked.

"I thought you were asking me over to finally. . .," he said, trailing off again.

"What, Eddie?" He asked.

"I thought you asked me to finally get together!" Eddie shrieked. "Clearly, it's all in my head!"

Steve looked at him, and then he laughed. He got up, grabbed Eddie's hand, and pulled him up into his arms. He pressed their bodies together, his arm around Eddie's waist.

"It is not all in your head," Steve said. "You know, I wouldn't come up with such a lame story. I would just tell you that I wanted to see you. No tricks. No games."

Steve crashed his lips to Eddie's, and he gasped into Steve’s mouth. Eddie wrapped his arms around his neck, pulling him closer. They both kissed each other eagerly, chasing each other's lips with the same energy that they had earlier. Eddie pulled away with another gasp.

"Uh, I should be honest with you, before this goes anywhere else. . .that list with the names. . .baby names. It's kind of embarrassing how much I want to have kids with you," Eddie said.

Steve kissed him again, even harder this time. He moved Eddie back, pressing him up against the wall and pressing himself further into Eddie. This was even more intense than the first one. It made Eddie whimper, and he felt his legs practically turn to jello. He gripped the back of Steve’s shirt as Steve rolled his hips into Eddie's and trailed kisses down to his neck.

"God, you're so sexy," Steve said, breathing heavily against his neck before pausing, "Hold on, no, we're not naming any children of ours Metallica. I remember that being one of the names on the list."

Steve pulled back to look at him.

"I'll get you to come around, you'll see," Eddie grinned.

"The hell you will," Steve said.

He grabbed Eddie's hand and pulled him upstairs. Eddie grinned. God, best moment of his life. . .

"Come back to bed," Steve groaned sleepily.

"Got to get a drink of water," Eddie said as he slipped on Steve’s polo.

"You're going to Winnie the Pooh it?" Steve asked.

"Hell yeah," Eddie said, laughing when Steve’s face plopped back down into the pillow.

Eddie walked downstairs. It was still pretty messy in here, he noted. They'd clean it up later. He walked into the kitchen. He moved past Stella's open and empty cage to get him a glass of water. Eddie paused and turned around. Stella's cage was empty. Oh fuck. Eddie collapsed to his knees.

"STEELLLLA!"

[misasimagines]

this isn't well written or anything I'm just. I'm Desperate to get Ren out of my head he's been living here rent free and I NEED to switch into Taiga mode to write that request so. Please enjoy structureless Ren rambles. He doesn't come off as character with Much Nuance (like some others, Rui!! Jin, Subaru, Haku, etc) but like. When he's been sitting in your head for the past 14 business days....things unravel.

I'm not like citing sources here. This is pure vibes. Please don't crucify me if I got smth wrong 🙏

So he has a Thing about the ocean. He watches horrors movies related to it, he seems especially grossed out by it, but he doesn't seem like he's never had experience with it. Which is why I just can't not think he came from a small, coastal town (like from Aquamarine lmao). The kind that has a Barrage of tourists in the summer and over holidays and he Hated it because now he can't just go anywhere without risking being in the background of someone's vacation pictures. And I also can't help but feel like he probably had a parent/parents who parentified him, probably not maliciously, but they still did it. Like two immature parents or one immature parent and one completely absent one, so when it came to actually being responsible about things, he had no choice but to step in. Which is why he's so annoyed by and against hard work- he's done enough of it and he doesn't want to keep getting involved when he now doesn't feel the responsibility to. He probably feels a lot of resentment towards them for what he had to take on. Whether he feels bad about that resentment or not, I can't say.

He doesn't like messes or the animals in Jabberwock. He doesn't want to have to care for anything besides himself. Haru might remind him of his family which is why he's so hostile towards him. Because like Notably, Ren isn't BAD at hard work. He does go to classes, does missions, has a job at the diner, and still has to help around Jabberwock no matter how much he tries to avoid it. He's even dedicated to his mobile games, which seems silly, but those require a lot of routine daily to keep up and it seems like he has a few he keeps up with! And if we consider the Jabberwock chapter, even though he was against Calamari and resented taking care of it, he still did and he still felt guilty when he didn't do a good job at it, so much so that he ran off to the beach to try to revive the poor thing. Not the actions of someone who truly is selfish and doesn't care. Him carrying Haru to safety too- yes, leaving him to die would have been really. Kind of reprehensible but he carried the guy and rejected any kind of thanks and appreciation for it. He could have used that as guilt-leverage to try to get out of things later but...did he? Not as far as I know.

Like he does all of that no matter how much he complains. Also, who ELSE has a campus job? I'll wait. 🥱. Sho doesn't count, the food truck is a passion project. Even BROKE ASS Kaito doesn't have a campus job. Why is Ren working? Does he NEED the money or does he feel some kind of compulsion to make it for some reason? Because he's responsible? Because he sends it back home? Because he wants to have money for post Darkwick life? Who knows!!!!! He got that job like INSTANTLY bro enrolled and got that work study like the first damn week.

And this is way less in the realm of Theory Crafting and conspiracy and more just a pure hc but I just feel like maybe his hostility towards other people, the MC included, is because he might be dealing with the aftermath of a damaged or lost relationship. Not exclusively romantic but like possibly? Like if he grew up in a small town, he probably knew the people around him from childhood to adulthood. And it's not unlikely that he had a childhood friend that stuck through all the years with him. And it's not unlikely that, if they were friends that long, that people would start making jokes and suggestions about them ending up together long term. And! It's not unlikely that! He felt some kind of pressure to at least pretend to reciprocate feelings towards them. So maybe a close friendship became a relationship and maybe he did have feelings for them and maybe he didn't or just wasn't ready for them. Either way, now he's in Darkwick and given how unhappy he is, it doesn't seem like it was his first choice to be there. Is he running away? Does he not have a home to go back to (either self imposed or true exile)? I just. I have questions.

Please someone ramble with me I'm going crazy here. I'm like God I'd kill this guy [thinking about making out with him sloppy style]. Hate him truly he's so annoying I'd argue with him every day. What if this were us

[blueishspace]

Hero, Villain God 29

(Prev) (Next) (First)

*Pearl's pov*

Mumbo is pretty nice to talk to, you aren't an expert in machines but you do know a lot about a lot of subjects and he is really passionate about his work and interests. Him being secretly a villain hardly bothers you considering you are too and so are Scott and Cleo but it is something you keep in mind when he talks about his projects, he describes them as very simple useless machines but you know they aren't.

The thing that interests you the most though is how close he is to Grian, you don't think either of them know how attached they are... You doubt Grian understands humanity enough and to be honest no offense but Mumbo seems pretty oblivious when it comes to more emotional stuff... You can't exactly blame either of them for being dense but it makes for a very fun dynamic.

Mumbo does eventually leaves and you and Grian are back to looking at eachother in silence...well, until Grian speaks. He definitely did not get his title if god of chaos by being quiet.

"Soooo, you said we needed to find a place with no one listening in."

Right, he still owes you an explanation for what happened. He promised it. You are also prepared for him to not tell you everything like last time. And what can you do about that? Look into his mind? No way, even if he wasn't one of the most powerful gods in existance you still wouldn't touch that mess with a ten meter pole.

"I did, want to tell me everything this time aroun?"

"Your place again?"

You think about that, summoning him to the plane of wisdom could make it easier to coax details from him...on the other hand you can't miss the opportunity to learn more about his plane. A plane nobody except him has been in in millions of years.

"Hmmm... It might be better to go to yours instead"

"Are you ...sure?"

"Yes, I wouldn't have suggested it if I didn't mate"

He is silent for a few seconds.

"... Alright! Follow me!"

You do, the moment you are out of sight from anyone he grabs you and the two of you are gone.

You expected something like this, as you open your eyes you are standing on a cube floating in space. Around you are floating steps and pillars and cubes and objects from various eras. You see Grian sitting sideways on a five legged chair as a blue flamingo with an elphant trunk pours him a glowing liquid you are pretty sure is lava. You parkour through the floating steps to reach him... He's being extra on purpose.

*Grian's pov*

You thought Pearl would be horrified but she just seems annoyed at the clutter...or at you... probably both.

"What are you thinking of? Want some lava? I even got some spiders in the back?"

"You know, you could really use a cleaning lady...also, no. I'm good."

"Nah, I have no clue what you are talking about, the most organized I have ever seen it."

You say that as you shoo away a storm of blood drinking dog-sized butterflies from going after the flamingophant. You of course use your time vortex frisbee to do so, you aren't an animal after all.

". . .Are you sure mate?"

"Yep"

"If you say so, you have enough random stuff here to create a black hole"

"That actually did happen once, real big mess, I'll tell you about that one day."

"Right, talking about telling me things... Getting that explanation would be appreciated mate"

"Oh yeah, didn't want to sit and do a speech."

"And you decided this was the best plan?"

"Yep"

"... Ok then, second question. Grumbot? I have seen him in Mumbo's memory but he doesn't know everything, does he? Of how he's involved."

"Oh yeah. Grumbot was powered by my energy so he's my child...and a god."

"And you didn't tell me last time, why?"

"I forgot."

". . . Ok then... Well do you have anything else to say?"

You do have something else actually!

"Yeah, what happened to you earlier?"

"Do you mean when I was reading Mumbo's mind?"

"Yes, that"

She just sighs.

"... That was Scarlet Pearl creeping in, it happens sometimes."

Ohh yeah, the corruption. That would have been bad with Mumbo there...You notice that her eye has started glowing red again.

"We have to go back now Grian"

"Already?""

Do you have anything else to say you haven't told me?"

...

"No?"

"Then It's best, I have something I have to do."

And like that you are put, how rude.

As Pearl leaves to do whatever she is going to do you check off this meeting from your mental checklist. Looking at it...well, imagining it, next thing on the list is... Dealing with the fallout of the whole situation... Especially with Scar's feelings.

Yikes, you really wanted to avoid that for just a bit longer... Hopefully he won't be too upset with what happened.

You know he's probably going to be.

[vgperson]

What Did I Do In 2023?

Whatever I wanted, mostly.

----

As I mentioned last year, my site now has an RSS feed with basically everything I've done back to 2020, so this will mainly be going over the same stuff from that, just with added context.

In January, I finally sat down and properly realized an idea for a short story I'd had sitting around for a while: From the Sidelines, about a fantasy RPG expedition going sideways. I remain very proud of it in both concept and execution, and hope people read it.

In February, Your Turn To Die was released on Steam Early Access, receiving character profiles and some bonus mini-episodes, adding two more later in the year.

After finishing From the Sidelines, I carried that momentum to revisit my Ut0p1a story series about funny computer animals. I'd always meant to continue it - and conclude it - but hadn't been satisfied with the ideas I had for it until totally rethinking them this year. In March, I posted the remaining stories one after another: Right to Code and Left to Code. I'm very proud of these as well. Also in March, Kenshi Yonezu released LADY. (Video, interview)

In April, Uri released the Data Book of the Strange Men Series, a big collection of the writing she's done on the games in the series, with a lot of new parts as well, all translated by me.

Then in May... uh, well, let's see. In April, Capcom released the Mega Man Battle Network Legacy Collection. I always adored the Battle Network games, and was initially excited that they finally did the thing... but by the time it came out, I was pretty disappointed by how, while you certainly couldn't call them low-effort ports, the effort didn't extend everywhere I thought it should, with the biggest offenders being the total absence of any "convenience features" except Buster Max Mode, the bad font, and the almost entirely untouched translations.

So, I ended up deciding I might as well just replay the originals, and that was a fun time (aside from the parts that were bad). Doing this, I couldn't help but notice how... turbulent the translations were, even if I'd always known they were less than ideal. I mean, the first two games just used periods for ellipses despite the tight character limits, then in BN3 they had an ellipsis character... but it's center-aligned, Japanese-style? Aside from the intro, which has normal ones? Gosh, somebody should fix that - it's simple enough to find and edit in YY-CHR. "JapanMan" is silly, too - I wonder if anybody made a patch for that? Wait, what do you mean there's just a tool to extract and insert text in all the Battle Network games including the Legacy Collection???

Thus began a journey that sort of occupied the rest of my year. First I did the BN3 Translation Revision, trying not to worry too much about cross-referencing the Japanese text unless something seemed wrong, so that I didn't spend too long on the project. Then I began to consider BN2, with its unfortunate "foreigner" text that would need some more significant reworking. I established more convenient tools for comparing with the Japanese script, and thus did a much more thorough job with it, releasing the BN2 Translation Revision in June (AKA Princess Pride Month).

Finally, after giving myself time to recover and actually finish replaying the series, I knew what I had to do to close things out. With the BN4 Translation Revision, you can finally play Battle Network 4 with a translation that isn't such a mess. Whether you'd want to is for you to decide, though if you can get over the structure, I don't think it's the worst game in the series by any means. (Oh, and in December I also updated the BN3 Revision to 1.1, doing a thorough pass with the methods I'd honed. But I think I'm pretty much good on MMBN translations now.)

Anyway, backtracking to other things that happened during my Battle Network haze... June had Kenshi Yonezu's Moongazing (video, interview), and July had Globe (video, interview, interview).

Last but not least, released in November, I translated Refind Self: The Personality Test Game, a short game from Lizardry (creator of 7 Days to End with You) with a fun concept.

----

Obviously I was right to have said "no promises" last year. But really, Your Turn To Die should get its final part on Steam sometime next year, maybe even early-ish in it. That's certainly the goal.

I'm also hoping to buckle down and finish one of my own games, but as usual, who knows how that'll pan out. Letting my whims carry me this year let me finally finish From the Sidelines and Ut0p1a, which was great, and it also led me down a Battle Network rabbit hole, which was... fine, but definitely for a narrower audience. I'd always like to get back to more free game translations and the like, too, but it takes effort to find things I'd want to translate. For now, I think my increasing desire to be able to let loose some of these original games I've been planning, and the stories in them, might come out on top.

[seldomstardom]

question - new to this rentry graphic/edit stuff (lmao i dont even use rentry i'm planning to use it for other stuff - ) but how do ya'll get the graphics to have animation in them? like they're gifs obviously but - idk might be a stupid question just see it a lot and my brain buffers tryna figure it out - k thanks

almost all questions aren’t stupid !!! it is a bit of a process lawlz — don’t know if you mean the little moving ones or that like fading so i’ll explain both !!

changing the photos in a graphic is way simpler so i’ll talk about that first ^__^ all you have to do is take your graphic with each different image , put it into ezgif , and use the ‘crossfade images’ setting !! you can mess with it however , but i usually do a fader delay of 4 and make each frame around 2 seconds ( or 200 miliseconds , which is what the site measures stuff in ) !

now , for adding each moving part means going into photopea . hopefully yours is more competent than mine and doesn’t crash seven times during the process … if you’re worried about that though i like to save the project as a psd every now and then , so the layers save in my files !!

i’ll take my recent atsushi graphic’s file as an example for visuals :3 so , you have your project in photopea ! yay !! open your gif(s) as new projects — if you use ‘open and place’ , it’ll just place as a still image and not a gif .

make sure you have the second icon on the left sidebar selected , and you’ll see a dropdown that likely currently says ‘layer’ ; click on that , and change it to folder ! this way , you can select the folder of frames , and be able to move the whole gif instead of just one part of it . ( buttons highlighted below !! )

okay good job you’re doing great . nowwww . go to the files where your gifs are ( in the photo above , it’s the IMG_1890 / 1797 ) , and make sure you have the folder selected in your layers tab ! then , click the layer button — the one above the dropdown this time — and then ‘duplicate into…’ , then select your main project ! if it worked , it’ll be in the corner of that project , and you can move / resize it to your liking ^__^

if you have multiple gifs , you’ll then click the same layer button , and scroll down ‘til you see animation >> then merge . that way , they all play at the same time !!! yay !!!! applause !!!!!! you did it !

yeah y as always sorry i’m really bad at explaining errer if you need anything else let me know !!!

[quibbs126]

You can wrap them in gold, but you’re still bound in chains

So I was stressing over a project today (I’m going to be dealing with it with my professor tomorrow, I may have ended up writing a very long email about the whole mess), and in the midst of me trying to calm down, I had this idea, specifically with my AU Sentinel Prime

The line was one of the first things I thought of, and unfortunately I don’t remember the line exactly, but I think this is the cool enough equivalent of it

Admittedly maybe I should have done more with the lighting and background (I’m still not good at them, sorry), like trying to make the colors more vivid and really emphasize the gold more. But it’s serviceable as is

The focal point was supposed to just be the neck, but I went a bit ham with the other gold accents, so maybe it loses its intent a bit

But yeah anyways, I made a new design for Sentinel in my AU some days ago, on paper at work, and one of the things I gave him was that large neck thing he has in Animated, with this sort of idea that it would also look like a brace or chain around his neck. And then that spiraled into the chain line that led to this drawing

I’m still a bit unsure if this will be the design I’m sticking with, but I do prefer it over the original, at least in the head area. It might just need some tweaks here and there

I’ve also tweaked Sentinel’s story a bit, mostly because of my new Alpha Trion backstory. Sentinel here was still created to essentially be the better Prime to Optimus, and while maybe some of his origins lie in pettiness, there’s also more political involvement in his creation and role

Alpha Trion is a very respected individual on Cybertron, but he’s never been particularly fond of authority and can’t really be pushed around by the politicians. And then he created Optimus Prime, who was given the Matrix of Leadership, something he had been keeping out of government hands. And while Optimus is more willing to work with the government, as seen in his position in the Autobots, he’s associated with several wild cards in the higher-ups’ eyes, notably his own family, and his own actions on occasion have shown that he is still something out of their control

Sentinel is meant to be the “better Prime” because he was made for their political schemes, they can control him. He’s more favored by higher ups than Optimus (and gets to be shinier), and ultimately they want it to be proven that Sentinel should be entrusted the Matrix over Optimus, being his superior. Unfortunately, Sentinel doesn’t do that great a job of this, usually ending up 2nd place to the original, but he is determined to best Optimus, and hopefully with time, he will eventually succeed and the Matrix will be in the government’s hands

I’m not sure how aware of this role Sentinel is. Like I’m not sure he’s 100% aware of his status as just a poltical pawn, though he probably knows at least on some level, something he may try to avoid thinking about and shield with his bravado. But his goal to be better than Optimus is more personal than for the ultimate purpose of it, he just wants to be better than him. He wants the Matrix, but only because he thinks he wants it, because it’s a marker he’s better. He has no idea what he’d actually do with the thing and really it’s just a trinket to him

It isn’t really Sentinel’s fault for being in this position, he was created to be this. I think that might be something Alpha Trion is aware of (like AT probably knows this guy exists, due to being basically a ripoff version of his basically son), which might color his interactions with Sentinel. Like he’s an asshole and Optimus is clearly the better choice for the Matrix, both in the role and in their characters, and he may find it a bit satisfying to see Sentinel get put in his place, but he also knows Sentinel never asked for this, and feels a bit sorry for him

His role might also have to do with his undefined angst, though I’m not sure. Like for example, his lost partner could have instead of a lover, been his twin (made to sort of be the answer to Elita-1), but something happened, possibly internal malfunctioning, and they died horribly. And Sentinel cried out about this, wanting to get them fixed and just genuinely being torn up about the situation, but those same higher ups that once praised the pair and treated him like something special completely discarded his partner as little more than a failure, gave him replacements and wanted him to be over this. And this would have been the moment Sentinel got more of an understanding of his real place in everything, even if he later chooses to just push it down and ignore it

Sentinel here isn’t supposed to be a truly bad person, but he is an antagonist in the sense that he’s an ass, and what he wants (to get the Matrix as a sign of being “the better Prime”) would ultimately be a bad thing overall. What he’s probably going to get is instead some form of redemption, in which he realizes he can be something outside of the shadow of Optimus, and that the people who say care for him truly don’t, and that he needs to carve out his own path in life. Though granted, that’s probably going to come with some more pain for him, because he must suffer

And yeah, I think that about covers things for now. I had another idea this afternoon regarding this AU, specifically a scene after Megatron, and also Optimus and their Autobot team, learn the truth about him and the origin of the Decepticon virus. But it's supposed to be pretty dramatic (and probably a bit dark in subject matter, Megatron does not take this information well), so I think I should save it for like a comic or something rather than just text

[lostinthewiind]

Brink of Extinction: Chapter THREE

Attack on Titan

Rating: Mature

Warnings: sexual themes, death, gore, mature themes, extreme violence, body horror, blood, weapons, major character death

As the first full day of being a scout drew to a close, Siv tried her hardest to adapt to her new life. That being said, even for those who welcome change, it isn't always easy to fit into a new routine in the blink of an eye.

Usually, after the work day was done, Siv would spend another few hours alone in her office working on her passion projects. Then, she would go back to her modest quarters, figure out something quick and easy to eat, and go to bed. Six hours later she would get up and do it all over again.

The Scouts, however, operated very differently. Hange was quick to impart the importance of camaraderie to Siv, meaning that the scouts ate, trained, and spent most of their free time together. The younger members even shared sleeping quarters, but the scouts with more prestige and experience under their belt were awarded separate rooms in the headquarters. Thankfully, despite having neither prestige nor experience, Siv was spared the discomfort of bunking with a bunch of strangers.

What she wasn't spared from, on the other hand, was everything else.

"It's quite loud in here." Siv had to raise her voice to be heard over the numerous conversations taking place in the mess hall. "How do you even hear yourself think?"

"Nothing shuts this baby up." Hange tapped on their head a few times with their fork. "You'll get used to it."

Siv sighed as she stared down at her meal tray. "It seems I'm finding something I need to get used to around every corner."

"You really didn't spend time with your colleagues at your old position?" Siv nodded and Hange took a moment to ponder that reality. "Seems very lonely."

Siv didn't see her old life as lonely. If anything, she would have described it as 'quiet' or 'peaceful'. Loneliness was never something that crossed her mind. "I like being alone," she said. "It's soothing."

Hange snorted. "You sound like someone else I know."

"And who would that be?"

Hange scooped a pile of vegetables into their mouth before scanning the bustling dining hall. When they didn't find who they were looking for, they shrugged. "I shouldn't be surprised he's not here," they commented. "He might like being alone more than you do."

"So eating alone is an option?" Siv inquired.

"Not for you." Hange pushed Siv's tray closer to her. "Now eat up. You're going to need your energy."

Siv didn't like the sound of that, but instead of diving into a million questions, she tucked into the meal of vegetables and potatoes as Hange instructed. 

After finishing her meal, which was about as hardy and bland as she had expected, Siv rested her head in her hand. "You know, I never thought much about the differing lifestyles of the regiments before now. Though, I suppose that's my privilege talking." 

Hange, who had been lost in thought, perked up at that. "Do elaborate."

"I can't help but notice the distinct lack of meat in this meal."

Hange smirked. "Or the distinct lack of taste?"

"I wasn't going to kick a meal when it's down, but yeah."

"For us, meat and good alcohol is saved for special occasions. On regular days, we're just happy to have something that'll stick to our bones and carry us to the next meal."

Siv nodded as she glanced around at the other long tables full of patrons in the dining hall, taking note of the animated conversations and cleared plates. Clearly, the lack of quality was doing little to keep the scouts down. "And what constitutes a special occasion?"

"Usually Erwin tries to scrounge together something nice on the night before a mission," Hange answered. "He wants his troops to have a good meal before risking their lives; especially since for some, it will be their last meal."

Siv felt her blood run cold at the way Hange stated something so sinister in such a neutral way. "I knew the Scouts had a higher death rate than the other regiments, but is the danger really that great?"

"Every mission we return with fewer scouts than we left with."

Siv swallowed the lump of fear in her throat. Thankfully, as far as she knew, her position had nothing to do with going beyond the walls. "Guess I'll have to get used to that too, huh?" She forced a lighthearted smile.

Hange's features darkened a little. "It's hard to get used to losing friends. I'm still trying to figure that one out myself. If you find a way, let me know."

Siv was silent for a moment as she tried to decipher what the best thing to say next would be. "Perhaps it's better not to get used to that aspect then," she suggested. "If I were risking my life so selflessly, it would hurt to know my friends would be fine if I died."

Hange ruminated on Siv's words for a minute. "You know, I think you're gonna fit in just fine here." Their expression suddenly lifted and they raised their arm to wave at someone who had just walked in. "Oh, Levi! Over here!"

Siv looked over her shoulder to follow Hange's line of sight, and when she did, she caught sight of a short man with pin-straight black hair and a look of disinterest that could kill a man. "You know him?" Siv gauged the distinct difference in expressions between Hange and this Levi person. 

"He likes to pretend I don't, but yes, I do." Hange huffed and pouted when the man continued on his way, thoroughly ignoring the display altogether. "That's Captain Levi, the man who might give you a run for your money when it comes to being alone."

"He does seem thoroughly disgusted by the mere existence of other human beings." Siv watched as the man effortlessly wove his way through the crowded mess hall before disappearing out the back door. "He might have me beat."

Hange sighed and waved their hand dismissively. "His bark is worse than his bite. Unless you're a Titan."

"Good at killing then, I take it?"

"They call him 'Humanity's Strongest Soldier.'" Hange cringed at the title alone. "I call him 'The Man with Humanity's Largest Stick Up His Butt.'"

Siv chuckled. "I'm sure he loves that title."

"I'm sure he would too, if I ever called him it to his face."

Just then, a boisterous group of four individuals entered the mess hall. Instead of ignoring Hange as the former arrival did, they made a beeline for the research duo and quickly joined them. 

"Did you see the Captain?" a man with tired eyes, prominent smile lines, and an undercut asked. 

Hange jabbed their thumb over their shoulder. "Sulked off somewhere that way."

The man began to inspect the back half of the mess hall, eyes peeled for the raven-haired captain. "If he wasn't so small I'd have a hell of an easier time picking him out in a crowd."

The three other people the man had entered with laughed under their breath, obviously finding the jab funny but wary in case the captain was lurking over their shoulders. 

"He went out the back door," Siv provided more detailed instructions. 

"Of course he did." The man groaned. "Probably cut through here to throw us off."

With that, the man marched off in the direction of the back door. Siv watched him push his way through the crowds before turning back to the table and noticing that she had three new sets of eyes trained on her.

"Care to introduce your friend?" A man with blonde hair and a slight goatee settled in next to Hange. 

"Levi Squad, Siv Grier. Siv Grier, Levi squad." Hange made the introductions quick and painless. "Minus Oluo who just stormed off."

"We actually prefer the title Special Operations Squad." The man next to Hange stuck his hand out toward Siv. "Eld. Nice to meet you."

The other two quickly introduced themselves as Petra, a woman with kind eyes and straight red hair, and Gunther, a serious man with his dark hair slicked back to a point on the back of his head.

"Nice to meet you all." Siv gave a friendly nod. "So you all work with Captain Levi?"

"More like for Captain Levi," Eld corrected. "But yes, the five of us are a well-oiled machine."

After getting to know Eld, Gunther, and Petra a little—and, eventually, Oluo when he returned from his fruitless search of Captain Levi—Siv finally felt the call of sleep reach out to her. Worn down from her first day and everything it had to offer, she politely excused herself and took the path back to her room.

Or, at least, she had thought she was taking the path to her room. When she came upon a dead-end without a clue where she had made a wrong turn, she felt foolish for not asking Hange or one of the others to escort her.

Siv tried to retrace her steps and make it back to the mess hall where she could admit defeat, but even that task proved much too difficult. Another five minutes later, she was in a completely different part of Headquarters and everything she passed was unfamiliar territory. 

When Siv briefly thought she might have found her way, she was quickly thrown back to square one when the door she tried to open ended up being locked. 

"Oh, for crying out loud." Siv tried another door. Also locked. 

Finally, after some trial and error—which was the most scientific method Siv could come up with at that point—she finally stumbled across an unlocked door. When she pushed it open and realized it led to a room and not another hallway that could possibly take her back to her room, she let out a deflated exhale. 

Before turning around and closing the door again, however, the sight of a crackling fireplace and shelves of books caught her eye. Taking a moment to admire the beautiful little library she had stumbled upon, and trying to recall how to get back to it should she wish to return, Siv didn't even notice the figure sitting in the dimly lit corner of the room until they were speaking to her.

"Can I help you?"

Siv nearly jumped out of her skin. "Shit!" she hissed, hand flying up to grasp at her chest. "I thought the room was empty."

Standing up from the red upholstered armchair he had been half-asleep in, Captain Levi emerged from the shadows. "Well, it's not." He pointed out the obvious. "Find somewhere else to contemplate the great misery of being forced into the Scouts."

"I-" Siv wasn't quite sure how to respond to that. Clearly, Captain Levi knew a lot more about her than she did about him. "I can't."

Levi scowled. "What do you mean, you can't?"

"I don't know where I am," she confessed. "I don't know how to get back to my room. I'm lost."

Levi let out a frustrated groan as he ran his hand down his tired face. "Go back down the hall you came from, make a right, go up the stairs, make a left."

It took a second for Siv to register that he was giving her directions. "Oh, you mean-" She peered back over her shoulder down the dark hallway. "Right, stairs, left. Got it."

"Think you can handle it?" 

Siv's polite demeanour shifted when she realized that Captain Levi wasn't just a prickly person; he was deliberately choosing to be condescending. "You know, I didn't walk in here because I had some master plan to personally ruin your night."

Levi furrowed his brows. "What?"

"You're acting like me being lost is a direct attack against you." Siv pushed the door open wider and let go of the doorknob; a subtle but effective way to imply she wasn't planning on leaving as soon as he would like.

Levi folded his arms across his chest. "And?"

"And ..." Siv took a couple of steps into the library and began to casually browse the books, "I've done nothing to warrant such cold-shouldered treatment."

Levi didn't respond. Instead, he kept his eyes glued to Siv as she slowly paced down the length of the shelves, occasionally picking up a book to flip through a couple of pages before putting it back. Finally, she spotted a title she recognized and plucked the book from the shelf. 

"Word of Prey," she read the title out loud before holding up the book. "Have you read it?"

"No."

"Shame. It's good."

"I bet." Levi deadpanned. "Are you done now?"

Siv smiled to herself. "You don't want to hear what it's about?"

"No."

"Another shame. I think you'd like it."

"You don't know nearly enough about me to know what I would and wouldn't like."

Deciding that it was time for a re-read, Siv tucked the book under her arm. "I don't know. I'm pretty good at predicting things. And my theories prove to be true more often than not."

"Well, I guess only time will tell." He glared at her, a wordless challenge for her to prove her worth—not only as a valuable member of the Scouts but as a person worthy of his time and energy. 

"I guess it will." Siv accepted the challenge, not quite sure what she was getting herself into. 

With that, she bid Levi a good night and deliberately went in the opposite direction he had told her to go in. After she heard him huff and slam the door shut—the door she had purposefully left open—she quickly jogged back in the correct direction and hoped he had been telling the truth earlier. 

As she turned right and spotted the staircase she was supposed to take, Siv couldn't help but think one thing: Captain Levi really did have humanity's biggest stick up his butt. 

[idgo-incarnate]

My Answers (ig): 1. Corel Paint (my parents downloaded it for some reason) and recently uninstalled it. They insist its a good program but don't pay for an extension.

2. Forward is fine, 3/4 and left facing side ok, right side is hard unless I can copy-paste flip. Not surprising as a left handed person.

3. Loved reading DIY arts and crafts or how to draw books, copied drawings of things I liked. Also enjoyed miniature making videos for dolls.

4. All humans because faces are hard c':

5. I post a fair amount online, but this is just the tip of the iceberg since most of those accounts are personal.

6. Anything that might inspire you subconsciously (i.e. this horse wasn't supposed to look like the Last Unicorn but I see it) -A.I. art (sorry), even though I avoid watching ai gen videos or block/report ai art.

7. A.I. art again, I really hate the exploitation and defenders saying mean things to artists, but the knowledge of coding and the processing not to mention the years of technological advancement to get here.

8. Learning guitar (friend borrowed and broke it.)

9. "mmmmm ye" "name 1" "name png 1" "ya boi" "oof" "thing ig" "idk" "(insert acronym)" "lil bb" "for (project)"

10. Suits, pants, leather, and hoodies.

11. My playlist (mp3 downloader, screw spotify.)

12. Torso (gimme those abs and moobies!)

13. Alan Becker (animating stick figures is difficult apparently), Ari Aster (Scaredy cat but I admire the small, hidden, details), Bong Joon-Ho (Please make something that isn't a class critique), got more but that's all I can remember.

14. Slow Burn Horror, horror elements that don't feel scary at first, but if you think of it real hard it has terrible implications (ex. soap kills 99% of bacteria, and the 1% will eventually mutate to a point no sterilizing agent can't kill it.)

15. At home or school.

16. Overthinking (thanks anxiety.)

17. Nothing, other than what is in the fridge.

18. Not break but exhausted or lost, in that case MANY.

19. Computers, food, and architecture (I could be an engineer.)

20. Architecture, I took drafting classes and a lot of my classmates had a hard time with perspective drawing, this skill does not translate to other entities.

21. Abstract art and classical paintings.

22. None, just go and mess around.

23. I try to use it and have some grasp, but most drawings don't require it.

24. Yes, especially the funnier ones.

25. A.I. art, cringy kid drawings, and other people.

26. Every human I've ever tried to draw.

27. The closest thing to a warm up is to draw whatever is on my mind (usually a smiley or uwu type face), then sketch the actual work.

28. Hypnovember, kept it a secret because it's nsfw.

29. Cat Soup (animated movie), Studio Ghibli, Some songs, that's all I can recall ig.

30. (I will edit the answer at the account anniversary)

Weirdly Specific Artist Ask Game

Didn't see a lot of artist ask games, wanted to make a silly one.

(I wrote this while sick out of my mind last year and it's been collecting dust in my drafts, I might as well let it run free) 1. Art programs you have but don't use

2. Is it easier to draw someone facing left or right (or forward even)

3. What ideas come from when you were little

4. Fav character/subject that's a bitch to draw

5. Estimate of how much of your art you post online vs. the art you keep for yourself

6. Anything that might inspire you subconsciously (i.e. this horse wasn't supposed to look like the Last Unicorn but I see it)

7. A medium of art you don't work in but appreciate

8. What's an old project idea that you've lost interest in

9. What are your file name conventions

10. Favorite piece of clothing to draw

11. Do you listen to anything while drawing? If so, what

12. Easiest part of body to draw

13. A creator who you admire but whose work isn't your thing

14. Any favorite motifs

15. *Where* do you draw (don't drop your ip address this just means do you doodle at a park or smth)

16. Something you are good at but don't really have fun doing

17. Do you eat/drink when drawing? if so, what

18. An estimate of how much art supplies you've broken

19. Favorite inanimate objects to draw (food, nature, etc.)

20. Something everyone else finds hard to draw but you enjoy

21. Art styles nothing like your own but you like anyways

22. What physical exercises do you do before drawing, if any

23. Do you use different layer modes

24. Do your references include stock images

25. Something your art has been compared to that you were NOT inspired by

26. What's a piece that got a wildly different interpretation from what you intended

27. Do you warm up before getting to the good stuff? If so, what is it you draw to warm up with

28. Any art events you have participated in the past (like zines)

29. Media you love, but doesn't inspire you artistically

30. What piece of yours do you think is underrated

[theomnicode]

Your posts on Saitama and food made me really sad. But it makes more sense that he is drawn like this now. I thought it was just a shift in style. Because even Genos looked babyish in the first chapters. But buff characters were always buff and were drawn buff. Saitama though... He looked like a baby but really slender. Lean but thin. Imagine what can eating good food do to you in two months. No wonder he started looking so bodacious

Ofc I am not discounting art style change from the picture, which is honestly more likely that Murata-sensei has just gotten better at drawing Saitama and the style in drawing Sai has shifted and that's all there is to. He might've just gotten a new reference body style to draw from. We've seen Saitama drawn really buff and detailed before, when they took the hero test, so it's nothing new. It's more apparent in the anime when he's drawn with even more bulging muscles.

Whether there is anything to this is up for speculation, but I would not discount proper nutrition from the equation. Nutrition is important and will always be important. But it might not be in the exact way we think it is. Something that I also thought about after making that one particular post.

Whether or not this post invalidates my previous post about Saitama not getting his fill when eating because his body physioque demands is up to you. I'm going to go fairly off-tangent (or not) here if you'll allow me haha. This gonna be a long post.

About Saitama and his self-image and how it's possibly portrayed in the manga and anime.

Imo, the real change between this Saitama and the Saitama we saw on the moon of I.O seems to be in how Saitama appears to see HIMSELF, when he actually gets serious. Or, how OTHER people are able to perceive him.

It is a shift in the mindset of his self-image.

Residual self-image is the concept that individuals tend to think of themselves as projecting a certain physical appearance or certain position of social entitlement, or lack thereof. The term was used at least as early as 1968, but was popularized in fiction by the Matrix series, where persons who existed in a digitally created world would subconsciously maintain the physical appearance that they had become accustomed to projecting.

"Show me no mercy."

That is, when he does not hold himself back. He's drawn the same when he's just there, being goofy, not very serious and holding himself back from going all-out. You can almost overlap the images with below manga panel.

There is a subtle difference though. His hero suit is more form-fitting. Because suits in this universe answer to the bearer's feelings. So he seems to be more heroic, instead of comedic.

Art style change or not? You decide.

Yes, he was messing with you Garou. Because you too, were just playing around being a monster.

However when Garou became a true monster, Saitama stopped playing around and holding himself back. And upon doing that, became morally dubious when he tried to punch Garou and destroyed moon and jupiter.

Even Garou wonders what the hell is this monster at the end. Speculation can be made whether Saitama is simply letting his innate monster side show because he legitimately wanted to kill Garou. The egoism and superiority complex would be that monster side, when he assumes that mindset of superiority. Something that he seems to be hiding well. More on this later.

The point I am trying to make here though is that it is quite possibly that the beefiest Saitama's physical appearance is not even a product of his physical conditioning. He appears just the same as ever...except when he is exerting his power. Then he gets the bodacious body.

One could say he's just exerting his muscles and that is also true, but tbh it doesn't seem to be all that. That's just appearances.

And technically, does he even need to exert his physical muscles if he's going to punch with divine power? I mean, it would explain why he doesn't get physically tired. His mental stamina is just sky high.

But not actually endless, because when he was running around all day, visualizing and looking for any bad guys in the anime episode, at the end of the day he had to take an actual breather. Which lines up with what we know about current Saitama and his exponentially growing power.

(a close look at the fist of god in that last panel, his divine power, I love small anime details like this)

I think Genos says it he best.

"You are so...full of shit!" "That's just standard strenght training! And it's not even that intense! Anyone could do it!" "I have to get stronger. I didn't ask to study under you so I could listen to your jokes!"

"Saitama-sensei, your power...is clearly beyond what you can achieve by just training your body!

And he's right, anybody could do it. Saitama's standard strenght training. Other people do far more. Garou has been training for years upon years of intense martial arts like Bang to get that body of his. What Saitama thinks is strenght training is an actual joke, the punchline if you will.

We arrive to the heart of the issue. Saitama's strenght was never anything that could be achieved by training his body.

Ergo, it means that by further strenght training, he could still not achieve a better body via just doing his strenght training, even with better nutrition. He already hit his peak body via that strenght training alone.

Ain't nobody gonna get biceps, pecs and sixpack like that with Saitama's strenght training lmao. Even if he ate well and nutritious food. Who are we even kidding? xd

But he hasn't trained differently either, just added punching monsters to his list and doing his training instantaneously. At least, I don't think he could achieve it like that with normal power.

Instead, I believe it's all just his cognitive power at play. Chances are, by altering his self-image, he has unconsciously also altered his body to match. If it's just appearance or actual physicality, not entirely sure. Which is a positive outcome but...

The depiction of Saitama in Jupiter is basically how Saitama saw himself and how he is able to be perceived. It's the power of his cognitive levels rising exponentially, the whirlpool of heaven stripped bare with the catalyst of emotional surge (as Murata-sensei tweeted) and let loose. (The depiction of Jupiter's red spot swirling around Saitama's head is a really nice artistic touch tbh.)

But it also wasn't a very nice Saitama was it? That superiority complex.

As the fight progresses, so does Saitama become more and more buff, but he's dissociating hard at the same time too and then back to his dopey self and not feeling or caring about a thing.

People with low self-esteem have a tendency to fixate on their body image. And Saitama is self-conscious, we know that from all the times when he gets self-conscious about his bald head. But since Saitama has...interesting powers, he fixates and alters his body quite literally in accordance to his self-image.

Aside from having low self-esteem, sufferers typically fixate on altering their physical appearances. Such behavior creates body dissatisfaction and higher risks of eating disorders, isolation, and mental illnesses in the long term.[2] In Eating Disorders, a negative body image may also lead to body image disturbance, an altered perception of the whole one's body. Body dissatisfaction also characterizes body dysmorphic disorder, an obsessive-compulsive disorder defined by concerns about some specific aspect of one's body (usually face, skin or hair), which is severely flawed and warrants exceptional measures to hide or fix. Often, people who have a low body image will try to alter their bodies in some way, such as by dieting or by undergoing cosmetic surgery. On the other hand, positive body image consists of perceiving one's figure clearly and correctly, celebrating and appreciating one's body, and understanding that one's appearance does not reflect one's character or worth.

Speculation can be made whether Saitama also subconsciously hides his true face behind that goofy face of his, because his lack of hair has become a complex. And why there seems to be such few witnesses to how he really looks and other people attempting to perceive his true self, will find themselves stumped and confused (or what appears to be his true self or Wounded Healer archetype).

(I've never heard Genos sound as confused as this lol, his brain is doing that apple loading screen)

(Can we get more of this Saitama look because the King panel is one of my fav Saitama faces by far, he looks sooooo goood)

Within Shinto it is believed that the nature of life is sacred because the kami began human life. Yet people cannot perceive this divine nature, which the kami created, on their own; therefore, magokoro (真心), or purification, is necessary in order to see the divine nature. This purification can only be granted by the kami. In order to please the kami and earn magokoro, Shinto followers are taught to uphold the four affirmations of Shinto.

By purification, it means with tears, since in Japan, salt water acts as purifier. Then they can perceive the true nature of Saitama.

Saitama's view on self-image is also probably the reason he doesn't scar, when other people did during their training. The only other reason would be that he can actually regenerate like monsters can, but it can definitely contribute to his poor self-image if he thinks it as monster-like quality he just happens to possess and associates it with being evil and monster-like. It might just be metabolism. But we can also speculate upon that. Other people perceive him with "eyes of a dead fish"-look and mostly negatively.

Saitama is the only character in the series who seems to flip-flop between actual looks when it's not for a comedic reason. Even between same page. Nobody else's facial features or musculature change so drastically, besides like Tatsumaki for caricatyre reasons.

Comedy is one thing, but Saitama changes in inverse to that, when he gets serious. So it's probably a serious reason.

You may notice how buff his arm seems to be on upper panel, but then we're back to slim arm. Then the panel with Genos where he looks at Saitama's profile and next Saitama panel we're back to dopey.

I've honestly gone very off tangent and idk if it's interesting or not... but here is where the proper nutrition and new lifestyle changes comes into play.

Evolution wise, our brain size started to increase once humans managed to acquire calorie-rich and difficult to acquire food and behavioural and social changes.

The temporal lobes, which contain centers for language processing, have increased disproportionately, as has the prefrontal cortex, which has been related to complex decision-making and moderating social behavior. Encephalization has been tied to increased starches and meat in the diet, however a 2022 meta study called into question the role of meat. Other factors are the development of cooking, and it has been proposed that intelligence increased as a response to an increased necessity for solving social problems as human society became more complex. Changes in skull morphology, such as smaller mandibles and mandible muscle attachments, allowed more room for the brain to grow. The increase in volume of the neocortex also included a rapid increase in size of the cerebellum. Its function has traditionally been associated with balance and fine motor control, but more recently with speech and cognition. The great apes, including hominids, had a more pronounced cerebellum relative to the neocortex than other primates. It has been suggested that because of its function of sensory-motor control and learning complex muscular actions, the cerebellum may have underpinned human technological adaptations, including the preconditions of speech.

It has been suggested that the changes were mainly social and behavioural, including increased empathic abilities, increases in size of social groups, and increased behavioral plasticity. Humans are unique in the ability to acquire information through social transmission and adapt that information. The emerging field of cultural evolution studies human sociocultural change from an evolutionary perspective.

Once he got proper nutrition of meat, starch and vegetables to actually supplement his overall training, it is not just his physioque that grew, it was the cognitive levels too. Possibly the sensory-motor control that is developed in infancy that is referenced to as the Inner child in omake, his ability to understand causality, time and space. Big brain time basically. Mind expansion.

Intelligence is present; motor activity but no symbols; knowledge is developing yet limited; knowledge is based on experiences/ interactions; mobility allows the child to learn new things; some language skills are developed at the end of this stage. The goal is to develop object permanence, achieving a basic understanding of causality, time, and space.

But chances are, other concepts that cognition develops as it matures apply.

Concrete operational stage Elementary and Early Adolescence (7–12 years) Logical and systematic form of intelligence; manipulation of symbols related to concrete objects; thinking is now characterized by reversibility and the ability to take the role of another; grasps concepts of the conservation of mass, length, weight, and volume; predominantly operational thinking; nonreversible and egocentric thinking

But it wasn't just that. It was the increase in pleasurable social stimulation that allowed him to reach the height of his cognitive levels and actually gain the self-image to match. Or able to showcase the self-image that actually physically matches his real body physioque.

However, when it comes to nutrition and Saitama's powers, it was even more vitally important that he get the proper nutrition and social requirements to sustain himself. He was training hard not just physically, but mentally. It was so taxing he went bald. That kind of stress on the brain can't have been healthy.

This guy looks like death warmed over him. Pig God also has ability that turns his body fat into source of fuel for his powers and what might be his life-energy. Giving that up to Tank-top master made his entire physioque shrink.

Body needs some kind of fuel as energy to continue metabolizing and working normally. When Saitama was just eating banana in the morning and something like idek rice on eggs for supper? It's not enough. Maybe he could be able to persevere on such a diet if he was normal human and just not have any gains on physioque, but he's nowhere near being normal. He just plain forced himself to change.

He has divine power that was also constantly stressing his brain, his cognition and when he was doing hero work, if he was to expend all that emotional energy in cathexis and blow up stuff, it would also require him to produce same amount of energy to match. Equivalent exchange, Full Metal Alchemist style.

My hypothesis is that his body had started to cannibalize itself because it simply did not have enough resources to use as fuel. Not from food nor from socialization.

By draining his emotions and possibly other cognitive skills as fuel for his divine power instead and causing his apathy. Yikes.

Because he always expells his serious punches in anger and he always feels less stressed or even no emotions at all after serious punch. By forcing himself to change and using his divine power, he rapidly sped up his metabolism and cognitive thought processing and suffered because he was poor financially and poor socially to give himself enough water and sunlight to grow like the Cactus metaphor.

It was worse when he had no energy for the Garou fight, after walking all day in dark caves with zero food and he was irritable and exploded immediately and uncontrollably when he saw his entire social circle had been killed.

Chances are, Saitama might just wither away eventually if he actually lost that social circle...that's how one can defeat Saitama, by striking a dead blow to his heart. If they can get past Saitama's powers, that is.

If the beefy Saitama is his current true image? Body image wise, that's great. It means that he has stopped cannibalizing himself from the inside out and he's now getting enough nutrients and meeting his energy requirements sufficiently enough that his self-image is now relatively normal. And has stopped having a "mostly" negative view of himself.

But there's still a reason why he tries to hide it so much and why it only seemingly comes out when he becomes serious. And even then, in only few rare scenarios.

He deems his abnormal strenght, his full power and divine powers, as something monstrous. Because of the scenarios where he has to use it.

The times when he realises that he cannot show mercy to an individual and is forced to possibly kill them.

"Bla bla bla. Are you done? With this fight?"

Saitama is not trying to taunt Boros, at least not in the way we think. He's trying to dissuade him from continuing the fight, so he would not have to kill him. Because he empathised heavily.

But Saitama does not kill people, it's against his morals. He only kills things he deems as monsters. Evil things who have turned their beings against humanity. But he may not truly feel like monsters deserve killing either and he feels he's forced to do it if he's to continue to be a hero and protect humanity and he's become desentized to killing monsters, though this is speculation.

It is the look of a person who is world-weary. A thousand yard stare. When heroism didn't turn out to be like he thought it would be.

Possibly the reason he never seems to feel fully like a Hero and why he's envious of people like King and even Garou to extent. And why he feels weird for trying to pretend to be a Hero. The loneliness he feels because he seems alone in his dilemmas. Being and feeling monstrous while doing something you're passionate about.

There is nobody he can relate with. When he finds someone he can relate with, he really wants nothing more than to spare them.

There is a quote from Deadpool that seems fitting, which I found from youtube comments when watching Totally not Mark's video how Saitama redefines heroism. I recommend watching btw, its a great video.

"Four or five moments, that’s all it takes. To be a hero. Everyone thinks it’s a full-time job. Wake up a hero. Brush your teeth a hero. Go to work a hero. Not true.

Over a lifetime, there are only 4 or 5 moments that really matter. Moments when you’re offered a choice. To make a sacrifice, conquer a flaw, save a friend… spare an enemy. In these moments, everything else falls away."

Which feels very poignant, considering how Deadpool also looks under the mask. Appearing as Hero on the outside, but a monster on the inside.

Another point of view is that the reason for Saitama's apathy and losing his humanity is because of how Saitama started to view himself as; a person with less humanity because he felt monstrous doing his hero work and less emotions when he was constantly locking up his emotions behind a facade of apathy just to deal with his conflicting feelings. So it started to became part of his self-image and the person he views himself as. If you believe in it hard enough, it must be true right? Which is honestly just as bad as your own body eating itself out on the inside. Both can be true interpretations.

We've not even arrived to the debate about what makes monsters evil and deserving of the death blow. Who's to decide whether or not Manako for instance, deserves to die? Saitama or Amai-mask? Is Manako evil enough monster that she would have to die or good enough to live? We will probably discuss this come Amai-mask arc.

Saitama sees the world as black and white more often than not. People, monsters and himself. At least when he is losing his touch with humanity.

Psychoanalytic theory posits that an individual unable to integrate difficult feelings mobilizes specific defenses to overcome these feelings, which the individual perceives to be unbearable. The defense that effects (brings about) this process is called splitting. Splitting is the tendency to view events or people as either all bad or all good.[1] When viewing people as all good, the individual is said to be using the defense mechanism idealization: a mental mechanism in which the person attributes exaggeratedly positive qualities to the self or others. When viewing people as all bad, the individual employs devaluation: attributing exaggeratedly negative qualities to the self or others

He gave that same thousand yard stare look at Garou that he gave to Boros, multiple times even. Feeling like a monster because all he wanted to do is kill Garou to revenge Genos and dissociating from his feelings entire so he wouldn't be able to feel the pain. So he clung to the last vestige of humanity on his palm.

When he lets out a less than ideal side of himself loose on the opponent to do what he feels passionate about, acting out in justice, but struggles with feelings of shame and guilt over his actions because he also feels like a monster while doing so against a person who he can't box neatly into what he depicts as morally evil. And feelings of guilt and shame for in this instance, trying to carry out justice by serious punching Garou to smithereens despite Tareo asking him not to and the end result almost destroying earth. And lastly, feelings of guilt and shame over enjoying his hero work to alleviate his boredom.

If Garou wanted to become absolute evil by transforming from human to a monster, Saitama parallels that by wanting to become to the opposite; absolute good by transforming from monster into a human. Something essential in humanity he feels like he has lost. He never felt like he fit into society anyway and he feels let down like Hammerhead and one foot away from becoming like one.

And it has become a self-perpetuating cycle; alleviating his emotional pain by engaging in impulsive behaviour to relieve it and then feeling shame and guilt. Then it becomes automatic response.

Because being passionate about Hero work also saved him and gave him means to vent out his negative feelings like anger, emptyness and depression so he did not succumb entirely and he could connect with his passions again. It gave him a sense of purpose and means to change himself.

In all honesty, Saitama seems to suffer from Borderline Personality-disorder, and more than likely ADHD and all of this undiagnosed but that's another topic entirely. Speculation can be made again whether it's related to when he first gained his powers as infant, related to his powers in general which causes similar symptoms to arise or if he always had these qualities, but we'll need more information about his past to be sure.

(that impatient foot tapping can point to symptoms of adhd yeap, same as his inability to focus on long speeches)

Combat service...

Question: Has Saitama ever enlisted in the military? Which is extremely common if one is poor plus male. And military exists in OPM.

Men raised in poverty had greater odds of draft and all-volunteer military service. Early-life experiences, independent of military service, appear associated with greater odds of MD. Assessing childhood poverty in service members may identify risk for depression in later life.

Because in all honesty, the metaphor here when Manako, one eye'd monster, is sitting on the toilet and hiding her face from Saitama seems kind of...fitting. In OPM game, Toilet-dwelling monster is metaphor for God, the source of monsters and evil. And Saitama locks himself in the toilet, like he locks his emotions away.

If Saitama has some kind of trauma from his time in the military that causes him to dissociate, it would explain the stare he gets when he feels like he has to take a life to do his hero work, to preserve the needs of the many. Like he did when he killed Boros and when he felt like he failed everyone he knew and wanted to kill Garou.

(Reincarnation anybody? I heard first era in OPM was about war and stuff)

When recounting his arrival in Vietnam in 1965, then-Corporal Joe Houle (director of the Marine Corps Museum of the Carolinas in 2002) said he saw no emotion in the eyes of his new squad: "The look in their eyes was like the life was sucked out of them," later learning that the term for their condition was "the 1,000-yard stare". "After I lost my first friend, I felt it was best to be detached," he explained.

The parallels in these two panels are pretty astounding. But in the bottom one, Saitama has also suffered a psychological wound and it depicts the wounded healer archetype very well.

Wounded healer is a term created by psychologist Carl Jung. The idea states that an analyst is compelled to treat patients because the analyst himself is "wounded." The idea may have Greek mythology origins. Victor et al. (2021), a pre-print study, found that 82% of applied psychology graduate students and faculty members in the United States and Canada experienced mental health conditions at some point in their lives.

As an example, of the "wounded healer phenomenon" between an analyst and their analyzed:

The analyst is consciously aware of his own personal wounds. These wounds may be activated in certain situations especially if the analyzed wounds are similar to his own. The analyzed wounds affect the wounds of the analyst. The analyst either consciously or unconsciously passes this awareness back to his analyzed, causing an unconscious relationship to take place between analyst and analyzed.

Humanity has made contact with a threat of this scale and has known true Fear, but as long as Saitama's combat service remains a secret, nobody will know.

I wonder if this'll relate to time travel in some way.

Side note, Saitama also taunted both Boros and Garou just to draw their attention intentionally as means of protecting other people with self-sacrifice and classic thinking process of a wounded healer archetype, but also that BPD self-harm shining through. Intentionally using himself being impervious to draw fire.

It's not a healthy outlook, no matter even if he's impervious to harm. He's just found he can do it and it works when he does hero work. He did not care much about being careful about getting harmed before he got impervious either.

Anyways, less about nutrition, more about how Saitama is drawn and how it relates to the plot, his self-image and his mental state.

But regardless of how you see it, I believe current Saitama IS a depiction that he is slowly getting better. And getting the nourishment and help he needs to actually grow and heal. Which is the general takeaway.

[hazelcephalopod]

I’m going to go off a little bit for a minute. Firstly I agree with all this. GOT is a very specific dark low fantasy genre -BTW I just don’t think we need all fantasy to be that, some is all fine but it doesn’t need to be all of the genre. And I want to be clear that I know op is talking about the show and it’s a fine show -the first couple seasons are pretty good, I don’t need to go into the rest bc we all know how it went.

However. I am so annoyed sometimes by the show too because the books do not shy away from being in the fantasy genre. Yes. They do go very dark and the magic is loose and low to start but it is very present and only gets more so. Sure it’s not wheel of time where most of the characters are flinging spells and magic items around and magical abilities abound in nearly everyone. But A Song of Ice and Fire is very magical! And also it’s colorful! And flavorful! Where are the epic feasts?

For magic there’s so much. Magic is pivotal, dealing with weird magical threats is imho where the book series is heading (in part) -maybe we get the rest some day I can only hope. From the beginning are the wargs, and from there we get to the greenseers and the weirwoods and however this is connected to the Others. Bran keeps having the trippiest visions, we don’t really get any of that in the show. No I don’t mean his weirdwood connections or warging -though we get much more of that too. I mean the dreams he has which are weird as fuck -and also probably something like astral projection.

There’s also the black gate, which seems to be a weirwood related organism, in the shape of a huge face that opens its mouth into this weird tunnel… under the Wall -and that’s barely getting into whatever is up with the Wall.

Melisandre obviously makes it onto the show, but she’s not the only Red Priest! Which only leads to the disappointment the Ironborn are in the later seasons, especially Euron. Euron has all sorts of magic shit, he’s some scary pirate warlock and he seems to be messing with cosmic horror and black magic in an attempt to become a god -or at least real fucking powerful the man has evil world domination ambition. He’s trying to take Oldtown, the home of the Hightowers and the Maesters Citadel, because Oldtown is one of the most aptly named cities on the planet. It’s old as shit, and the Hightowers have probably been up to some magic shit at least in recent years and almost certainly long before the Targaryens even got to Westeros! They might live in one of the oldest buildings on Westeros -or at least in and in what they’ve built on top of it.

truly. This series has got some of the weirdest fucking magic going on. Did you know that there’s a Archmaester of magic?! He’s trying to get a glass candle to Dany, which is some sort of scrying and/or communication and who knows what magical weird magic obsidian “candle”? There’s a whole city of mages on Essos and if the maesters and rumors are to be believed it and the land around it are so extremely strange and dangerous magic effects happening around there. Children and most animals canon live there according the the maesters -and tbc they are very local to Westeros so I will admit we should consider their claims with some skepticism but certainly Asshai, that city is weird. Did GOT make you think this series was low fantasy? Well I am hear you say It lied! Maybe medium to start but that higher fantasy is cooking it’s just a soft magic system!

Even to the point about the color. The earlier seasons had such better more colorful well done costuming! As a pseudo-medieval inspired fantasy author Martin know that people have always loved color! He even does some interesting worldbuilding on it.

In Westeros the more money you have the more color, the more ostentatious your clothing. Meanwhile the peasants dress plainer but try to add color and decoration according to their means. The religious orders of clergy and lay people who’ve taken vows may have more uniform and/or plainer uniform, but again higher ranking members often have more decorated and ornate uniforms. Later in the series it is notable when a ascetic zealous group takes on even plainer clothing, rejecting the more ornate costume as effectively their version of sinful. The citadel has its own unique uniforms too, even more insular and specific.

Then of course there’s the Nights Watch which fills a very unique place, historically they have been a more noble part of Westeros but now it’s mainly used as a means of punishment, exile, or getting rid of unwanted men, they dress entirely in black. This is part of their austere militaristic microculture, focused on dedicating their lives to protecting Westeros to the exclusion of all else. But it’s also associated with criminals and other undesirables, and no one really believes in the cause -outside the North- anymore so they are constantly in need of money. So black is associated with a poorer and both once prestigious and currently looked down upon group in Westeros -though different regions may vary on this of course.

However it gets really interesting when we compare with the rest of the world. In a lot of Essos it’s similar to Westeros, the rich and powerful often dressed far more ostentatiously than the poorer or disadvantaged. Then we get to Braavos. Which is where things are turned on their head. The wealthier in Braavos dress in dark colors, usually some color but very dark nearly black shades. Now the poorest might not dress in the brightest and boldest outfits but certainly those of lower than the wealthiest class do so as they can afford. This comes up in an interesting way in the book -the show maybe touches a little on this? Tbh it’s been a while I don’t remember exactly- but it poses a problem when some stranded Nights Watch men need to beg for money and stuff and are totally rebuffed because they wear all black, like the wealthy. So no one gets how they don’t have money. It’s just a fun detail I really like.

It really can’t be underestimated what damage Game of Thrones did to fantasy TV and even id argue movies

I’ve seen Reviews for Wheel of Time saying it’s “too colorful” or “too much focus on female characters”

Or The of rings of power being called “Overtly whimsical” and “being Way too slow, having too much set up”

Not saying these shows don’t have there own issues but as someone who has read some but not all of both I think most fans of the source material would say those things are not only in the original books but they are some of the things those books are well known for

Game of thrones was never a fantasy series, it never wanted to be a fantasy series, it’s a political intrigue show that happens to take place in a fantasy world with dragons

(And the only reason people never complained about the exposition being boring in GOT is it was always accompanied by gratuitous sexual fan service sone of which was not even in the books or was off page, not to mention how they treated the actress’s during them- discussion for another post)

D&D openly admitted to thinking fantasy is inherently “campy” and not wanting to make a fantasy show

So many of these reviewers think that because GOT was a great political intrigue drama that means it must be a great fantasy show and all fantasy shows (no matter how much they may differ from the tone or themes of GOT) must strive to be like it

Not to mention that it killed off any chance of there being fantasy TV or Movies that don’t need to be prestige epics that are often very adult oriented and are more lighthearted, adventurous and a bit whimsical ( and lower budget) like the sword and sorcery stuff I grew up on from the 80s and 90s

Between the last season of Merlin (2013) and DnD Honor among thieves there was barely anything like this and whenever any of them did happen they quickly disappeared and were forgotten like the Willow reboot

( if anyone has any suggestions for this niche feel free to leave them)

[obeiii-mee]

Hello! Can I request an hc about a shady MC who's not phase by anything in Devildom with the brothers (and Diavolo?? he deserves love!!!)? Like, when Luci's like "i CaN KiLL yOu hUmAN", MC's reaction was like "Oh... congratulations then." i need more shady mc who may or may not be planning to ruin your life😂😂 Thanks and take care!!❤❤

The Brothers + Diavolo with an MC that is not phased by DevilDom

__________________________________

Pls I need more shady MC, they would not take any shit from the brothers. Put any Gen Z-er with these guys and you’ve got yourself a suicidal and reckless human exchange student.

They wouldn’t know what to do with one of those ahaksbakanhaka you’re right, Diavolo deserves all the love >:(((((((

You better take care too >:( thanks for sending me this big brain request. I’ve been preoccupied with other projects so I took a while to get to this ask. Hope you’re doing OK💙

____________________________________

Lucifer:

-He thought having a human exchange student was going to be bad enough as it is but this…..this was so much worse than he could have ever imagined

-The moment you arrived, he already knew you were going to be a problem child and a persistent one at that

-Literally the first thing you asked him was : “Why do you look like an off-brand Levi Ackerman?”

-And he was left there, astounded, confused and offended because he had no idea who you were talking about (cuz at that point you hadn’t met the third eldest) and the tone you had was, frankly, pissing him off

-You kept wondering off on your own????? Without looking like you gave a shit even though you almost walked into a butcher’s shop that specialises in human meat???? Tf MC?

-Also really irritated that you couldn’t be intimidated and that DevilDom was like a playground to you, for some reason? Like, MC get out of the fiery pits of eternally tormented souls- this is Hell, not the McDonald’s ball pit ffs

-Things did not improve for him lmao, by the end of the first week he had already ripped out a good chunk of his hair because of you

-“MC, you should know by now provoking demons like this for no good reason is only going to make life harder for you. Keep this up and you’ll get killed in no time because of your behaviour.”

-“Great, can we have a hip-hip and a hurray?”

-In the span of one day, he’s had to come to your rescue six times (approximately) because you’re too nonchalant about your surroundings around literal creatures of hell

-He doesn’t have enough coffee or will to live for this bs

-“Lucifer, I found this dead plant and brought it here because it reminded me of you.”

-“…..sigh. Why? Why does it remind you of me?”

-“Because it’s cold and unresponsive.”

-He made the consecutive decision to ignore you

-(low-key kept the plant tho)

-Honestly, you get on his nerves a lot and he has definitely contemplated killing you in the past but at the end of the day he really can’t bring himself to do it

-We both know he tried a few times lmfao

-“I will tear you limb from limb, human-“

-“Can I finish my tea first.”

-“You…wait, what?”

-“You’re crazy if you think I’m letting this tea get cold. Try to kill time before I’m done and I’ll smash this cup against your head.”

-If you try hard enough, you might even elicit a laugh out of him, especially if your shadiness is directed at any of his brother which results in him patting your head affectionately

-Nowadays he’s just concerned because you seemed to have made an alliance of sorts with Belphagour and Satan and that’s not a good sign

-For his sake, if not yours, at least try to survive the year without getting chomped on by a random demon please

-He’s too stubborn to let you die just because you’re unbothered by everything so cut him some slack and help out damn it

Mammon:

-“Oi Lucifer, how come I’m stuck babysittin’ this stupid human?”

-“And how come I’m stuck with this asshole for a tour guide, with his fake ass designer shoes and no brand sunglasses. That’s a lot of smack talk from someone with crow shit stains covering the back of his jacket. Also, did you stick your hair in a bucket of mayonnaise?”

-……..

-He was so offended lol

-Normally, humans like you cower in fear whenever demons are as much as mentioned because of the whole “I can eat you whole” thing

-And here you are; insulting the Avatar of Greed and one of the princes of Hell himself just because you didn’t like his attitude

-Don’t worry tho, he warms up to you in less than a fucking month simply because you still come to his rescue whenever his brothers start insulting him and wow, look at that, his heart is now combusting on the floor

-“Y’all have no right to criticise Mammon when he has the most self control out of all of you.”

-“Since when does Mammon have any self control? He can’t keep himself from nicking anything that looks shiny.”

-“Motherfucker, I don’t see him trying to choke me to death, respectfully pls shut the fuck up. I don’t want to say I have favourites but if I do, it’s definitely him.”

-While Mammon’s in the background, with hearts instead of pupils in his eyes like ❤️👄❤️

-He doesn’t even mind running around after you anymore (will still complain about it though because your ass is in constant danger and he’s had enough)

-Honestly, you keep starting shit with random demons, some of which are quite powerful mind you, and you don’t back down even when he’s there to step in

-Would low key love to watch you fight one of your classmates at RAD and organise a ticket selling booth for the event but Lucifer will hang him a new one if he does

-So for now, he sticks to baring his teeth at the aggravator in question and you’re there, giving the same demon the middle finger

-The way you sometimes match his energy gets him so hyped up lmao

-“Mammon, did you steal Levi’s money again?”

-“T’s none of her business human. Now go away, shoo!”

-“Bitch, don’t ‘shoo’ me, I ain’t a bird. Now tell me, did you?”

-“…..Why do you ask?”

-“Because a new flavour of instant noodles just got announced, called ‘Super Hell-Sauce Flavour’ and I thought you might be more interested in that than wasting the money on gambling.”

-“….ok but only if you come with me to buy some.”

-This…this is true love right here

Levi:

-Oh no, now there’s two of you

-Why do I feel like his energy would match MC’s almost immediately? Maybe it’s because he spends too much time in his room on the internet like the rest of us do

-“What do you want, you stupid normie?”

-“300…..”

-“….300 what?”

-“300 mangas collected, thousands of episodes of anime watched, over 60 character figurines, plushies, body pillows, merchandise and several posters only to be called a fucking normie by a demon weeb that’s only known me for 10 minutes.”

-Boom, instant friendship

-He becomes attached to you almost immediately and now that he knows how unphased you are by DevilDom, he is seriously worried

-Hell, you’re making him consider going outside his room just to make sure you’re alive and not dead in a ditch somewhere because you decided to get on someone’s nerves that particular day

-Even during the quiz thing, when he almost kills you, you’re just sitting on the floor and awkwardly watching him as he throws a sissy fit

-Levi feels sort of conflicted with you because one one hand you’re good company and he loves having you around, you’re his Henry after all

-But on the other hand, you put yourself in so much danger it makes him paranoid so often to the point where he wants to keep you locked in his room and wrapped in bubble wrap

-Nearly had a heart attack when you almost walked right into a pit of lava like MC???? This isn’t one of his video games???? You’re not gonna respawn if you die????

-Besides all that, he gets a bit jealous of you confidence and your ability to just do whatever without fearing death or consequence

-“MC, how do you do it?”

-“Do what?”

-“How do you go about your life without a care in the world?”

-“I guess I’ll tell you my secret Levi. I’m not like other humans that’s why, I’m just so unique I do things differently.”

-“You sound like a pick me-“

-As long as you’re OK and not injured because of your carelessness, he’s indifferent about your behaviour and will even applaud you for your bravery when it comes to this sort of thing

-“lmao the human exchange student just dumped Solomon’s cooking in the trash while looking him dead in the eye 💀💀💀”

Satan:

-Your attitude towards DevilDom and demons in general kept him entertained, if nothing else

-You rarely seemed to consider how much of a threat that place really is and usually you were just running around, completely ignoring Lucifer’s rules and doing your own thing

-Which, you know, he’s all about

-I can’t say there were no incidents between the two of you

-With his short temper and your tendency to say things without caring about the consequences, there were definitely moments when he might’ve snapped on you

-“MC for goodness sake, what happened to my room?”

-“What do you mean?”

-“It’s an absolute mess! I just told you to bring me my spells and curses book, not mow through everything!”

-“It’s not my fault this place is built like a fucking labyrinth. You should be grateful I went to get it for you at all, I almost tripped and died several times on my way back. Also, you should get a new ladder for your shelves. It did the broken.”

-“MC….”

-“Yes?”

-“You are so lucky I love you.”

-Other than the fact his anger takes over him when things like these happen, he not so subtly encourages you to keep going because seeing Lucifer scowl at your antics gets him wheezing his lungs out

-I like to think Satan would be very impressed, even in the beginning, at the amount of nonchalance you can radiate at times

-I mean, you sure as hell don’t see it often and he loves how unpredictable you are more often than not

-If anything, he should probably thank you-idk how, but his patience has increased significantly every since you got here and he appreciates having some more control of his emotions

-“I’m gonna go put oil in Lucifer’s shoes.”

-“Do you have a death wish?”

-“Satan, I am old enough to make my own decisions and I concluded that this action is necessary.”

-“Necessary for what?”

-“Raising everyone’s morale! All of you seemed to feel down lately so I thought this would be fun for everybody!”

-“Except Lucifer, right?”

-“Except Lucifer. He grounded me from my D.D.D like I’m a fucking teenager who needs to be supervised-pssshht, I’m the most responsible one here.”

-“Yes clearly.”

-“Goodbye dear Satan, I may die today. But it’s for the greater good! (Dramatic exit with sound effects)”

-“WAIT MC!”

-“(pops head back in) yes?”

-“May I offer you my assistance?”

-You’re basically taking turns pranking his brothers and it’s hilarious

-Satan is not too worried about your well being simply because he knows his siblings and him are always going to be nearby to save you if you pull something stupid again

-Even so, he checks up on you throughout the day; just to make sure

-“Where were you?”

-“Running from a bunch of demons. Who wanted to go munchy crunchy on me, I assume.”

-“……”

-“Either that or people here are a lot friendlier than originally expected.”

-You can be such a handful and it really tests him, especially when he’s angry enough to begin with

-But despite your amazing talent at either getting completely lost around Hell, purposely walking into a prohibited place just because you felt like it or riling up others with how blunt you are, he still cares about you deeply

-You may be a pain the ass, but you’re his pain in the ass <3

Asmo:

-He should’ve known something was up with this particular human when you stood there, completely calm and collected, while Beel salivated at the thought of eating you on your first day

-Asmo just brushed it off for a while but it kept happening???

-The first time Lucifer ever told you off, you really went and said “Or what? Are you going to eat me? If so, you can go ahead and start with-“

-He came to your rescue and covered your mouth before you got to finish and before Lucifer unleashed his wrath on to everyone in that house

-“OOPSIE! I think MC has been spending too much time with me. Sorry Lucifer, we gotta run now! We have a party to attend, don’t we MC darling?”

-“You mean the one hosted by the guy that tried to kill me because I shoved into him on the hallway at school and then proceeded to tell him to go fuck himself right back into whatever hell hole he was born in before you came and charmed our way out of it?”

-“Yes.”

-“Ah OK. “

-You’re tiring for sure but you’re not exactly unlikeable

-You have a certain charm hanging about you that Asmo loves

-“I almost died like…30 minutes ago.”

-“WAIT WHAT?? WHY?? WHAT HAPPENED-MC ARE YOU OK???”

-“Yeah, I almost drank some poison today because someone told me it was water. It smelt off though so I didn’t.”

-“….”

-“Anyway, I got you this bracelet on my way home.”

-He really does wish you would take things a bit more seriously

-This is your life on the line, you know? What would he do if you died?

-“MC, you’re not immortal, you can die so much more easily than I can, you know that right???”

-“I don’t care.”

-“Well I do! And you should too….”

-A lot of people don’t see past his vanity tbh, because he can be such a caring person towards the people he loves

-The amount of videos he has of you appearing to be completely calm while pure chaos is descending in the background is pretty impressive

-Every time he uses his charm on you to try and get you to commit his sin, it just doesn’t work???? For some reason???? And even if it’s just with simple, innocent affection for now, he is determined to tempt you into it

-“MC~gimme a hug!”

-“But that’s social interaction and I don’t support it- do you have a charger for my D.D.D by any chance?

-Or at least die trying to ig

-Asmo loves having you around but you’re giving him wrinkles and that’s not okay >:(

Beel:

-The moment he realised how carefree you actually were, he sort of started checking up with you quite frequently throughout the day

-It’s his way of protecting you but if he could, he would follow you around all the time

-Becomes your body guard because you may not care enough about your safety but he certainly does so get ready to be carried everywhere

-You will not get hurt nor will anyone mess with you if he has a say in it and let me tell you, he does

-Thing is, his brothers mostly know him for being slightly dense in some aspects of day to day life

-He’s not perceptive of things that don’t involve food or his loved ones

-And because you most definitely are a loved one of his, he does notice how careless you are really often

-And it scares, rather worries, him because DevilDom is an incredibly dangerous place-even with all the precautions they had taken when you came

-“MC get down, you could fall.”

-“But Beel, look-I’m finally taller than everyone else! Taller than you even! Hey, should I do a backflip?”

-He has no idea why you thought jumping from 60 meter high cliff into a small river of squashed demon blood was a good idea but he wasn’t going to risk anything just because you felt like showing off your diving skills

-Proceeds to carry you away, completely unfazed

-In this case, I feel like Beel is not someone who gets bothered by the horrible things happening around there either

-As long as he has food and his family is safe and happy then he’s also happy, as mentioned above

-But he knows he’s alright with DevilDom because he’s been living here for centuries now

-A bit curious as to why you’re so unbothered

-And even more curious as to why you weren’t terrified of him transforming in his demon form after he lost control when he found out you ate his pudding

-Or more like Mammon did and pushed the blame on you

-“YOU. ATE. MY. PUDDING!”

-“Beel I love you but if you did not just see Mammon shoving the damn container in my mouth two seconds prior to this, then you might need glasses.”

-He apologised to you later for it but even so, you didn’t seem to mind like at all and he didn’t really understand why

-Unless you end up explaining why exactly you feel so indifferent about your life being in potential danger, he won’t really pry

-But now he has even more reason to follow you around like a lost puppy

-Since it’s clear you don’t really care about protecting yourself

-So now it’s his job to do it

-MC protection squad? Mostly Beel and Mammon

-ahhh he cute

Belphie:

-Oh

-You piss him off so much

-He’s trying to have his moment, you know?

-Finally getting that glimmer of satisfaction after killing a human as a way to avenge his sister’s death

-Trying his hardest to make it as miserable as possible because he has so much rage in him, he needs you to suffer

-“Harder Daddy-“

-“Oh fuck off.”

-Nah but for real, what the fuck MC

-Why does he even bother, he feels like he should be sleeping instead of dealing with your bullshit

-Even afterwards, when your future self shows up and he tries to kill you again, you look more thoughtful than irritated???

-Lucifer and Beel are literally holding him back from doing another Chocky on you and you’re standing there, looking at him with your eyebrows raised

-“Hey Belphie, I have a quick question. I know you’re trying to kill me and everything but do you like the colour blue?”

-“HUH??!?!”

-“It’s a simple yes or no question Belphie. Do. You. Like. Blue?”

-“WHAT DOES IT MATTER???!!!”

-“BELPHAGOUR, AVATAR OF SLOTH-YES OR NO, JUST FUCKING ANSWER!”

-“YES! FUCK YOU!”

-“Ah ok thanks. I like blue too :)”

-????????????

-Pls he felt like sticking his foot down your throat

-As of late, he’s kind of glad he didn’t manage to scare you away that day and that he didn’t traumatise you or something

-At the time, he was mad because he didn’t understand why you weren’t scared but now he just wants to make it up to you

-“You didn’t deserve any of that. I’m sorry MC, I won’t blame you if you decide to stay away from me now.”

-“Stfu dipshit, what’s gotten you so depressed? Did you have another fight with Beel? I told you not to eat the last slice of cake.”

-“Rude ass, I was trying to apologise for my past mistakes-let me repent will you?”

-“Said no demon ever. Now let’s go hang out you emo bitch.”

-Y’all vibe together on a spiritual level once that shit gets sorted out

-But he’s kinda scared you might pull out a knife on him ngl

-Obviously, you’re still annoying as fuck with that indifferent attitude of yours but he can live with it

-He appreciates the fact that you’re not scared of him, even after what he’s done

Diavolo:

-Ah yes, the future King of DevilDom himself

-He’s very enthusiastic about the idea of you having fun this year…..and to keep you alive….

-He, of course, expected a range of reactions from you when he first summoned you here

-None of which were “Ok but could you not have given me a heads up? Before the whole teleportation thing? I face-planted your onto marvellously polished the floor and now I think I lost even more brain cells than before.”

-He felt so bad gagajajahahwgehhsb

-He apologised for bringing you out here without any warning like that and then proceeded to introduce you to everyone

-Diavolo is actually kind of relieved to see you’re handling everything pretty well

-He thought that maybe DevilDom was too much for a human to deal with

-Meeting Barbatos also went incredibly smooth

-“Barbatos? The one that cleans the floors right? Big fan of your work, I could eat off the floor of the main hall.”

-He’s so glad to see you getting along with everyone and not getting intimidated by the brothers

-It gets him excited thinking about how the exchange program is gonna work and all three realms will be united

-But he’s not stupid so don’t think he’ll allow you to stumble around, getting up to all sorts of mischief

-He always has someone watching you because he would hate to see you die, despite being pretty fond of your carefree attitude

-“MC, please be careful. Most demons here aren’t all that nice.”

-“Aye aye Captain.”

-He fears that many demons would take your indifference as a challenge and try to assert dominance or something by kidnapping you

-As far as creatures of hell go, they love installing fear in people

-So he always keeps an extra eye open for you

-And he’ll be there to help you if something goes wrong

-But other than that, he’s pretty chill as well and he finds you so hilarious, it’s been a while since he’s seen someone as eccentric and dramatic as Mammon and Asmo

-Idk what else to add here, Diavolo is very accepting and as long as you don’t get hurt, he’s glad you can get used to your new surroundings so easily

———————————-

Al~

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

okay, I want to hear about your thoughts on Renesmee wanting to eat Edward?? What's up with that. Also would love to hear about your opinion on this child in general. All the people in her life are hardcore projecting on her, what's the alien child's perspective on all this shit. Thanks for all the twilight meta its wild.

Thank you, glad you enjoy my rambling, strange, thoughts.

What’s Up With Renesmee Devouring Her Enemies?

So, this one’s actually a bit of headcanon on my end, not really supported by anything directly. We’re going way into left field with this.

But I do have this. Renesmee is a highly efficient predator, perhaps in a way more so than the vampire (although she is weaker and slower than vampires) and Renesmee is... not human, for whatever that means.

Everything we see of Renesmee’s early biological development, and what we see happening in Nahuel and his sisters, makes a lot of sense from a biological standpoint.

The mother is turned essentially into a hybrid incubator, such that even if she wanted to abort she likely would not be able to or would not survive it. The child grows at a rapid rate in the room and has to eat itself out, at which point it has a starter meal of the human mother. The child then grows absurdly rapidly to the point where, mentally and physically, it can survive on its own. Growth then slows and then stops when sexual maturity is reached, presumably for reproductive purposes.

Vampires cannot do a few things. They are a half-sterile race, only able to reproduce through humans and the previously male half of the human species. They also need external help to kill a fellow vampire. In other words, they have to light a fire.

Until you burn the pieces, the enemy vampire isn’t dead. Now, using fire as a tool is to date something only the human species has figured out. It is not intuitive and an odd coincidence that vampires had this prerequisite knowledge (I have thoughts on what vampirism even is and where it comes from). 

I imagine, just as Renesmee presumably has reproductive capabilities that vampires lack, she also a has a toolset that vampires lack: the ability to kill a vampire without the need for fire. 

Given that Renesmee’s able to eat human food, this implies she has a digestive that is able to break down nutrients. The reason vampires can’t eat other vampires is they lack this. Edward swallows pizza, he’s vomiting that shit back up three hours later and it’s going to be very solid and very gross. Whatever venom did to his innards, most of his vital human organs aren’t working anymore.

Given that Renesmee’s this mix of venom and who knows what kinds of fluids I believe her stomach is capable of breaking down and digesting vampire flesh. This seems to me the most obvious way to eliminate an enemy vampire when no tools are otherwise available.

Hence, instinctively, if Renesmee wants to murder Edward she will eat him.

(Also, as you can tell, the image is just horrifyingly delightful to me, and so it’s my go to response.)

As for why she would want to eat him, see here and here.

The Family and Renesmee

As you note, everyone in Renesmee’s life projects someone else onto her.

Not so much Carlisle, he just seems very bewildered and overwhelmed by everything at first, and one of the few who openly notes how not human Renesmee is and the implications of this (given the chromosome experiment, I’m sure Carlisle was expecting a squid).

Even in the early stages though we see Edward, Bella, Alice, and Rosalie as primary offenders. (I’d list Esme except Esme is... being Esme about it, so, she’s just floating through Renesmee’s life like her Cullen ghost self and not even at the point where she can project anything onto her. Besides, that’s what Edward’s for.)

Edward sees the best of both himself and Bella in Renesmee, a little intellectual who reads War and Peace at a few weeks old when she has no understanding of the concepts of War, Napoleon, Russia, or Peace. As Edward always does, he so obliviously projects onto her, that I imagine it doesn’t matter what Renesmee says or does around him and she quickly figures that out.

Bella’s left the planet. Renesmee’s this beautiful thing, that looks like Edward, that is her daughter. Bella has no idea what parenting is. She’s floating through life preparing herself to become Esme 2.0. It’s not so much that she projects onto Renesmee but that she... completely fails to connect her to reality. Renesmee is a concept to Bella. Renesmee might figure this out, but given her feelings for her mother, I imagine she’s far more conflicted about it. She probably wishes things could be different between them, and often tries to find ways to make it so, it just never works.

Alice treats Renesmee much as she treated Bella, as her little doll that she can dress in cute clothing. Beyond that, Renesmee is a nuisance who messes with Alice’s gift. Oh, Alice likes her well enough, but I don’t see them having an actual meaningful conversation or connection.

Rosalie’s probably the wort offender in the projection domain. She is absolutely projecting the ideal human child she never had onto Renesmee. When Renesmee inevitibly fails to live up to these perfect standards, which even a human child wouldn’t, I imagine Rosalie will get increasingly upset. Acknowledging Renesmee isn’t what she wanted either would probably break Rosalie, so she’s not going to do that, and instead try to get Renesmee to behave correctly. For however much she cares about Renesmee, I imagine Renesmee sours on her growing up, as she knows she will never be what Rosalie wishes she was. Grateful that Rosalie helped keep her alive, of course, but... she would also probably wonder, as fandom does, just how much Rosalie was hoping Bella would die in birth (for the record, I think this might have been an idle fantasy of Rosalie’s, but I don’t think she’d go this far.)

Then of course, there’s Jake. Woof, Jake. As I linked above, I think Renesmee will slowly become more and more disenchanted with Jake. She’ll either learn about or suspect her own gift, have no interest in having a romantic relationship with him, or learn about his checkered past with her mother. More Jake is...

Imprinting, at a very large distance, sounds nice but imagine what that means. You have this person who is utterly dependent on you, who will do whatever you want and be whatever you wish them to be. In other words, you have this codependent person you can never get rid of who is never authentic. They will never say no to you, will always do what you wish, and if you dare to tell them you want a little time to yourself they will probably combust into flames.

That’s not a good relationship for anyone: imprinter or imprintee.

Jake, in a sense, ceases to be a real person when it comes to Renesmee. Renesmee will figure that out and then... why should she live her life just to make this miserable man who once tried to murder her happy?

What Does This Do to Renesmee?

I imagine Renesmee grows up feeling very isolated.

She doesn’t really belong in the Cullens, for all that they’re the best fit she has. She certainly doesn’t belong with other imprintees in the tribe (and whatever occasional function she goes to with the Quileutes is probably a complete disaster), and she’s not human either.

I imagine her strongest relationships are Charlie Swan (who beyond the surrealness of his life I imagine takes Renesmee at very face value), Carlisle Cullen (who also seems to not project onto Renesmee and takes her at face value), and Bella (who she desperately wants a stronger relationship with but Bella’s not listening).

Well, Charlie at some point will die. He will not choose immortality. I imagine Renesmee never quite understands why he was allowed to choose death or what the purpose of the human species even is. To her, they are caterpillars who never went into the chrysalis. Given to Renesmee the Cullen diet is the norm, to her it would seem obvious that, yes, everyone in the world can turn into a vampire and if they ration animal resources correctly there’s no problem. Or, if not everyone, then certainly her grandfather need not die.

I’m sure Charlie tries to talk to Renesmee about this but given that he’s one of her few strong relationships in this world the talk of “I’m going to die some day, sorry kiddo” doesn’t go well.

So, I’m sure it takes Renesmee a very long time to recover from that blow, if, in fact, she ever really does. I’m sure a part of her will always grieve Charlie.

In time, I think she’ll leave the coven to go on a journey of self discovery. The coven will just be too damn suffocating and she needs to find out who she truly is. Now, if that’s before or after the inevitable collapse of the Volturi and destruction of human society is hard to say.

I will say that whatever the future holds for Renesmee, just like everyone else’s, it is unbearably bleak.

[helloalycia]

teenage dirtbag [three] // wanda maximoff

summary: Wanda's boyfriend continues to be an aggravation in your life, causing some distance between you and Wanda

warning/s: none

author's note: i really appreciate the feedback you guys gave in the last part – it’s always motivating to read your reactions/comments 🥰

part one | part two | part four | part five | masterlist | wattpad

Sorting things out with Wanda made everything return to normal in no time. So much in fact that she decided I was worth inviting to her and her brother's birthday party.

Never in a million years did I expect the most popular girl in our grade to know who I was, let alone invite me to her birthday party, so to say I was surprised was an understatement.

"It's not a big deal if you can't make it," she said when she handed me the invitation in class. "I mean, I'd love it if you could, but yeah, no pressure."

I was in awe, accepting the invite and reading it quickly. It must have been a pretty expensive party if she was giving out special invites, that's for sure.

"You want me to come?" I asked, still unsure whether this was a joke or not.

"Only if you want to," she said quickly, eyes darting around the room and anywhere but at me. "Like I said, you don't have to. It's not a big deal and– I– yeah." She pressed her lips together and stopped rambling, offering me a small smile.

"Thanks," I said quietly, slotting the invite in my notebook. "I'll, er, I'll think about it."

She pushed a strand of hair behind her ear and faced forward, nodding. "Yeah, sure, no rush."

After that awkward conversation, I discovered she'd also invited Y/BF/N, the two of them developing a little friendship the more she'd hung out with me. He didn't mind going, but only wanted to do so if I went.

"I feel like I kinda don't wanna go," I admitted to him after school as we were studying in the library.

"Oh?" He rose an eyebrow. "And why's that?"

I played with the pencil in my hand. "I don't know, it's just– it's gonna be full of all of her other friends. And they don't really like me. Plus, her dick of a boyfriend is gonna be there. I just think she might have invited me to be nice. Like she might have felt like she had to because we sit together, y'know?"

"I think you know that isn't true," he said knowingly. "Maybe, just maybe, she actually wants us there, wants you there, to celebrate her birthday."

I chewed the inside of my mouth, giving it some thought. But the idea of going to Wanda's house party and seeing a bunch of people I didn't care about getting pissed wasn't comforting. Besides, even if I went, I'd probably see Wanda once before she'd get scooped away by Nate. What was the point?

"Nah, I don't think I'm going," I decided. "She won't notice. I'll just get her a present instead."

Y/BF/N sighed, clearly not impressed with my answer. Nonetheless, he said, "Okay, suit yourself."

"You can go if you want," I added, knowing his presence wasn't linked with mine.

"No Y/N, no party," he said with a dismissive shrug, and I couldn't help but smile.

"Such a good friend," I said teasingly, but there was truth to my words. And I knew he knew that. 

When I saw photos and videos of Wanda and Pietro's party all over my social media the day after, I knew I'd made the right choice in not going. It was the same visuals of everyone getting drunk, doing stupid shit and making a mess. Call me a loser, but that wasn't really my scene. Pietro and Wanda both seemed to enjoy it though, judging from the pictures.

Instead, I bought her a birthday present, knowing I didn't have to but I kind of wanted to, and planned to give it to her when she turned up to class. It was her birthday today, despite throwing the party over the weekend, so I hoped it would make up for my absence (thought I doubted she noticed).

She showed up and settled beside me as I was writing the date in my notebook, making me look up to see she'd made an extra effort to dress up for her birthday, looking fancier than usual. I couldn't help but smile at the giant '18' birthday badge pinned to her jacket.

"Happy birthday, Wanda," was the first thing I said when I saw her. "You look amazing."

A bashful smile appeared on her lips. "Thank you, Y/N."

"I hope your party went well," I said, giving her my full attention whilst trying not to drool over how beautiful she looked.

Surprisingly, her smile faded and her eyebrows knitted together. "Yeah, it did... could you not make it? I tried looking for you and– yeah..."

I opened my mouth to speak, admittedly a little embarrassed that she'd caught me out. I was sure she wouldn't notice – the pictures made it seem like there were loads of guests, I'd definitely have blended in if I were there – but clearly I was mistaken.

"I just thought–" she began, before shaking her head. "Never mind."

"Sorry, I thought–" I started, but like her, didn't know what to say. "Parties aren't my thing," I admitted truthfully. "But it looked fun. You enjoyed it, right?"

She nodded, a small forced smile on her lips. "Yeah, right. It's cool. No biggie."

I swallowed awkwardly. It seemed like a biggie and now I felt bad.

"I, er, got you a gift," I blurted, hoping to change the subject. Reaching into my backpack, I pulled out the terribly wrapped present and held it out nervously. "I hope you, er, like it."

Her eyebrows raised as her eyes flickered between the present and I. "Oh? You didn't have to. I wasn't expecting anything."

Was it hot in here or was it just me?

I pulled my collar away from my neck, hoping to circulate some air. "I wanted to. It's not a big deal."

She accepted the gift, fingers brushing mine and making me even more nervous, before opening it up. Her eyes sparkled with delight as she revealed a brand new leather paintbrush carry case.

"The one you always carry around is tattered and falling apart, so I thought I'd get you a new one," I explained, feeling like I had to. "I mean, unless the other one has some sort of sentimental value, then in that case, I can just return this."

"Are you kidding? I love it!" she exclaimed, looking to me with a grin. "It's beautiful, Y/N. I don't even know what else to say."

My shoulders relaxed, a relieved smile tugging at my lips. "Good. Th-that's good. I'm glad you like it."

Without warning, she moved forward off her stool and wrapped her arms around my shoulders, pulling me in for a hug. I was startled, unable to think straight with her body pressed so close to mine and her floral perfume wafting into my nose. Why did she have to smell so good?

"Thank you," she muttered, pulling away but not quite letting go. Her eyes were glowing as they watched me carefully, accompanying her weak-in-the-knees smile. I was sure I'd melt. "It means a lot."

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak for fear I'd say something stupid. I resisted the urge to look down at her lips, which were pulled into a small, appreciative smile. She let go of me, looking to the case again and unravelling it. I caught my breath meanwhile, my senses still on override as her perfume lingered.

She was just so damn beautiful.

—

"Okay, how about this – robotic or organic aliens. Which would you rather invade our planet?" Y/BF/N asked.

I chuckled at his question. "Definitely haven't thought about that one, but let's see..."

We were hanging in the bleachers out near the football field as we waited for football practice to end. Y/BF/N had a Film project to do and needed to film the field, so I offered to help like the good friend I was.

"Probably organic," I answered as I balanced on the bleachers, standing up and tiptoeing down them like steps. "At least we could reason with them if they tried to kill us because they'd have a conscience. Robotic aliens would just be programmed to take over and that's it."

Y/BF/N seemed against the idea as he played with his camera. "Yeah, but if they were robotic, all we'd have to do is launch a missile at them and they'd explode. You can break metal. It's harder to break organic matter."

I stifled a laugh. "You've given this much thought, I see."

He gave me a knowing look. "You telling me you don't think aliens exist?"

I stopped tiptoeing and stood still as I looked down at him with humoured eyes. "You know I know aliens exist."

He waved his hand like that was enough reasoning. "There you go then!"

I laughed, wondering how he thought of this stuff, then continued to balance as I walked down the bleachers. Probably the wrong choice as when I heard a voice call me, I looked up, saw it was Wanda, then proceeded to miss a step and fall onto my arse.

"Oh God, Y/N, are you okay?" she asked, moving forward to help me.

My face heated up as Y/BF/N laughed his arse off beside me. I accepted Wanda's hand and let her pull me up, before letting go immediately when I could handle it myself. Her presence always made me nervous, but this was just terrible.

"Yeah, I'm good," I said, glancing at her and freezing at her piercing gaze and suppressed smile.

"You sure?" she asked, glancing at Y/BF/N, before trying to hide her own laughter.

Fuck me, why was I such a mess whenever she was around?

"Very sure," I said, though my back began to ache from where I hit it. "What's up, anyway?"

Y/BF/N finally shut up, to my relief, and Wanda minimised her laughter before scratching her head.

"I'm waiting for practice to end so I can take Pietro home," she said, nodding to the field. "I saw you both sat here and thought I'd say hi. Are you guys watching practice?"

"Not really," I answered, before tilting my head to Y/BF/N. "We're just waiting for it to end so Y/BF/N can film for his project."

"Ooh, that sounds interesting," she said, intrigued and looking to him now. "What's that about?"

As he caught her up on it, I found myself checking Wanda out without realising. She was animated as she listened to Y/BF/N talk about his assignment, eyes giving him all of her attention, and a permanent smile was fixed on her lips as she listened to him. Though it wasn't directed at me, I felt butterflies swirling a storm in my stomach and clutched it, hoping they'd go away. I loved and hated the feeling all at once.

Breaking me from my reverie, a football flew past all three of us and hit the bleachers, startling us all. We looked in the direction it came from and saw the football team looking back at us, some laughing and some disgruntled. Two players ran towards us and when they got close enough, I made them out as Pietro and Nate.

Nate was laughing as he looked between us all, before his gaze fell on me. "It's Y/N, right? I feel like I'm always throwing that thing at you. Sorry about that."

But his constant laughing and lack of guilt refuted his words. I merely clenched my jaw and narrowed my eyes his way, not that he seemed to care nor notice. I was a mere fly in a world that revolved around him. He'd never notice.

"Babe, I'm sorry, I didn't even know you were over here," he added, looking to Wanda. "You okay?"

Wanda crossed her arms and seemed frustrated. "I'm fine, Nate. Just get your ball."

He shrugged and grabbed his ball. Before leaving, he pressed a kiss to Wanda's cheek which made me wince, but she made no attempt in enjoying it. He didn't seem to care as he took off running back to his team. Pietro smiled apologetically at the three of us.

"I'm sorry," he said genuinely. "He can be such a dick sometimes."

That was the understatement of the century.

With that, he turned and ran back to his team to finish up. Wanda sighed, running a hand through her hair, as Y/BF/N and I exchanged glances.

"I should get the car running," she said awkwardly, pointing a thumb over her shoulder and towards the car park. "Good luck with your assignment, Y/BF/N. And I'll see you tomorrow, Y/N."

Waving goodbye with an awkward smile, I watched her leave and wondered the same thing I always did whenever Nate decided to make an appearance in my life.

How could she be dating such a dick?

—

Apart from the birthday party I didn't go to, I'd never been invited (or had a reason to go) to Wanda's house. I'd seen it, rode my bike past it, but never actually been in it. So, when she invited me to her place to work on a project we'd been assigned in class, I was unsure how to feel. She was adamant though and I had no reason to say no, so the only thing left to do was say yes. Even when she offered to drive me there after school.

"This is your car?" I asked with disbelief.

I knew absolutely nothing about cars, but I wasn't blind. Hers was a gorgeous deep red colour with a convertible roof that was currently lowered so anyone in it would feel the sun on their back and wind in their hair.

"Yeah, you like it?" she asked as she got into the driver's seat.

I gulped and sat in the passenger's seat, throwing my backpack at my feet. "It's so nice. You sure you don't mind me drinking in this?"

I had a Pepsi bottle in my hand and was deathly afraid of opening it now in case I spilt it and the cleaning bill would be more than I made in a year at the pizza parlour.

She laughed, already pulling out of the car park. "Of course. Don't be silly."

I glanced in her direction, trying not to get distracted by how good she looked in the driver's seat. She was wearing a red leather jacket, funnily enough, matching the exterior of her car, and she had dark eyeliner around her eyes, accentuating the shape and colour of them and leaving me speechless whenever she looked my way.

"There's CDs in the glove compartment," she was saying as she focused on the road. "Or you can mess around with the radio. It's up to you."

"CDs?" I asked, it piquing my interest. I reached into the glove compartment, adding, "What is this, the 2000s?"

She rolled her eyes playfully, accepting my teasing, as I flicked through the small stack of albums.

"I don't know, I guess I just like having the physical version," she said with a shrug. "It's kind of like a collection."

I chuckled at her need to explain herself, watching the way she rubbed her neck nervously, smiling with embarrassment. Looking back to the albums, a particular one grabbed my attention and I plucked it out with raised brows.

"Oh my God, you like Paramore?" I asked, looking to her with surprise. "Now it's definitely the 2000s."

Her cheeks flushed as she grew flustered. I nudged her in the side gently, getting her attention briefly.

"I'm kidding," I reassured, tilting my head her way playfully. "I actually love Paramore. They're my favourite band."

"Really?" she asked with surprise as I put the CD in her car. I hummed in response, to which she continued, "Have you ever seen them live?"

As For a Pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic played quietly in the background, I nodded my head. "Yeah, once. It was a few years ago, but the tickets were shitty and I could just about make them out on stage in the distance."

Wanda laughed, the sound making my heart skip a beat. "No, that's so sad!"

I chuckled in agreement. "Yeah. It was, but oh well. They have a tour coming up this summer, right? Maybe I can get better tickets this time 'round... what about you? Have you ever seen them live?"

She hummed, making a turn at some traffic lights and chewing her lower lip as she focused on doing so. It was definitely the wrong time, but I found myself admiring how attractive it was, especially when her jaw tensed and her defined jawline was on display.

"Yeah, I saw them a few times," she finally responded, pulling me from my stupor. "Some really good seats, some really shitty ones." She giggled at the end, making me smile. "Maybe we could go to that concert in the summer. If you're up for it?"

This seemed like one of those times where you made plans with a friend that you knew would never happen, so to not cause an awkwardness in the conversation, I nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, maybe."

She glanced at me and I mirrored her smile, the flash of excitement in her eyes knocking me breathless.

When we reached her house, I was awestruck at how big it was from the inside. I mean, it looked huge from the outside, but the inside was even better. Her family were rich, I knew that, but this was some other level of rich.

"Here, c'mon, I'll get you a drink, then we can go into the dining room to start," Wanda said, failing to recognise my amazement and instead leading me to the kitchen. "We have tropical juice, apple juice, water, Sprite, Cola... which d'you want?"

I settled at the island, taking a seat and subtly admiring her kitchen. "Er, apple juice is fine with me."

She smiled brightly before pouring me a glass, whilst pouring herself some Sprite. Standing opposite me, we both took a moment to have a drink, but didn't get chance to exchange words as her mum entered the room and noticed me instantly.

"Y/N, it's so lovely to see you again!" she said kindly, patting me on the shoulder before heading to the fridge. "You girls hanging out? Studying?"

"We have a project," Wanda filled in as I nodded in agreement. "We alright to claim the dining room?"

After grabbing some water from the fridge, Wanda's mum pressed a kiss to her daughter's cheek. "Sure thing, sweetie. If you need anything, just let me know." Smiling once more at me, she said, "It's good to see you, Y/N."

"You too," I said with a friendly smile before she left.

"Come on," Wanda said, motioning for me to follow. "We have tons to do."

The next hour and a half was spent with Wanda and I planning out our project, our work sprawled along the dining table messily. We were making progress, until she got a call suddenly. It seemed serious as she gave me an apologetic glance and excused herself. I let her go and leaned back in my seat, wondering what I could do as I waited for her to return. That thought was resolved quite quickly when Pietro popped his head in the doorway and spotted me.

"Y/N! What an honour to welcome you to our humble abode," he exclaimed, entering the room fully. "What brings you here?"

Pietro's presence always brought an amused smile to my lips. "Wanda and I are working on a Chemistry project. She's just nipped out for a phone call."

He tutted dramatically, crossing his arms. "Well, well, well. We can't have that! Wanda needs to learn to entertain her guests. C'mon. I was about to head to the gaming room and could use the company."

I was visibly surprised. "You have a gaming room? Dude, that's awesome!"

He laughed. "C'mon."

Joining Pietro, the two of us headed to this so-called gaming room and I was not disappointed. There was a huge TV with a PlayStation and Nintendo Switch connected to it, a snooker table, a foosball table, a dart board, some old arcade games – it was amazing, any gamer's biggest dream.

"What you feeling, princess?" he said with that flirtatious smile of his.

I rolled my eyes playfully. He was being overtly flirty, more so than his sister was – was it a Maximoff personality trait or something? – and I wasn't sure whether he meant it or was just being his usual self.

"Are you flirting?" I deadpanned, tilting my head curiously. "I can't tell."

He pocketed his hands, swinging back on the heels of his feet. "That depends. Is it working?"

Despite my lack of interest in him like that, I felt my face heat up at the attention. "Pietro, I must tell you that any moves you attempt to make kind of won't work."

"And why's that?" he asked, sitting on the edge of the snooker table with a cheeky smile on his lips. "Am I not your type?"

"Unless you change into a girl, then no," I played along, making him flush with embarrassment. "Hate to break it to you, but I'm gay."

"Okay, I guess that makes sense," he mumbled to himself, before sighing and meeting my eyes. "We can still be friends, right? Or is that forbidden since you're already friends with my sister?"

I laughed and approached him. "Friends works. I don't think Wanda will care. I certainly don't."

He grinned. "Awesome! Well, d'you wanna play a round of foosball?"

"Sure," I said with an amused expression. "Bet I can kick your arse."

He pushed himself off the table and feigned surprise. "Oh? Game on, Y/L/N."

I didn't realise how long Wanda had been on the phone until I managed to get through three rounds of foosball and was in the middle of a snooker game with Pietro.

"You may have beat me at foosball, but you're terrible at this," he pointed out with stifled laughter.

I'd missed my third shot and it was more funny than it was embarrassing.

"Your talking distracts me," I said dismissively, before lining up the next shot with my cue.

He watched as I tried to take my shot before sighing loudly. I glanced at him with a quirked brow.

"You have a thought you'd like to share?" I asked playfully.

He hesitated, moving forward to correct my posture. "Look, if you just aim it like this–"

"Don't even think about it, Romeo," I said jokingly, standing up straight and pushing him away gently. "I know what you're thinking."

He laughed. "What? I was just going to help you aim!"

I gave him a knowing look. "So holding me close is just a bonus?"

"Fine, take your shot without my help and see what happens," he said dismissively, waving his hand.

"I'll do just that," I said with confidence, before bending down and taking my shot. The ball hit the other and neither were pocketed, which was an achievement as I'd got the cue ball in several times before, but still pretty shit as I didn't score any points.

Pietro smiled with satisfaction, leaning on his cue. "You happy with that?"

I held in a laugh as I looked to him. "Shut up."

He chuckled before bumping me out the way. "Now for the professional."

Bending down to take his shot, he pulled back his cue before hitting the balls. They rolled around on the table and one ball was about to go in, but I quickly grabbed it before he could get the point.

"Y/N!" he shouted between laughter. "That's cheating!"

"Technically we didn't establish rules," I pointed out, before moving backwards as he tried to grab it from my hand. "What do you say to calling it a draw and playing something else?"

"I say that's a childish way to admit you've lost," he responded, before moving forward quickly. I dodged his attempt and he pursed his lips. "Y/N."

"Pietro."

He smirked. "Seriously?"

I grinned.

He tried to grab it again and ended up chasing me around the room as I avoided giving in. Taking the piss out of Y/BF/N enough times had prepared me for moments like this, so I was able to avoid Pietro long enough to run into whoever walked through the door.

"Shit, Wanda, I'm sorry," I said between laughter, steadying both me and her.

She smiled with confusion, about to speak, but Pietro caught up to me and lifted me up, throwing me onto the couch before I could protest.

"No more cheating," he said sternly, as I lifted my head from the pile of cushions on the couch to look up at him.

"You're an arse," I said, pushing myself up off the couch.

"And you're a sore loser!"

We had a mini staring competition before the two of erupted into laughter.

"You're not half bad, Pietro," I complimented as he helped me up.

"Thank you, princess," he said, the flirtatious smile on his lips again.

I shoved him in the shoulder playfully before looking to Wanda, who was chewing on her lip as she looked between Pietro and I with an unreadable expression.

"So, what prompted you to leave Y/N alone for an hour?" Pietro asked, wrapping an arm around my shoulder, making me shove him away. He grinned at me before looking to Wanda.

"Nate called," Wanda responded carefully, arms crossed as she continued to look between us. God, I hoped she didn't think Pietro and I liked each other. That would be embarrassing.

Pietro scoffed from beside me, making Wanda sigh with annoyance.

"Don't start, Piet," she said and gave him a look which he seemed to understand.

By the sounds of it, Pietro didn't seem to like Wanda's dick of a boyfriend either. That was strange since wasn't impressing the brother the first part of being in a relationship with someone? And they were on the same football team, so I figured he'd at least tolerate him.

"Are we alright to get back to studying?" Wanda asked, directing her stare to me. The annoyance she held for Pietro was still present in her eyes and I suddenly felt nervous when she looked my way.

"Yeah, of course," I said, before giving Pietro a half-smile. "Rematch at snooker next time. Sound good?"

"Try to keep the balls on the table and we'll see," he teased, before nodding to Wanda. "You should get back to your project before Wanda kills us both with her deadly glare."

I smiled awkwardly, looking back to Wanda as she was indeed glaring at her brother. Clearly there was some sibling rivalry going on here, and I definitely didn't want to get in the middle of it, so I headed to Wanda, signalling I was ready to leave.

The two of us headed back to the dining room in an uncomfortable silence. I felt like I'd done something wrong and she was giving me the silent treatment which was strange. Then I figured it was probably something with Nate that made her annoyed, so didn't question it too much.

We sat back down and I looked at what we'd done so far to try and pick up where we left off, but then she spoke out of the blue, taking me by surprise.

"Do you like my brother?"

It was so abrupt that I took a moment to acknowledge it, blinking. "What?"

"Pietro," she clarified, saying it with such dismissiveness like it wasn't a big deal. Her attention was on the books before us as she continued, "Do you like him?"

I tried not to laugh as I shook my head. "No, Wanda. I mean, don't get me wrong, he's a great guy. But yeah, no, I don't like him like that."

She chewed her lip, nodding, but I swear I saw a hint of a smile on her lips. I hoped it wasn't the thought of Pietro and I that made her annoyed. I wasn't that bad, was I? I know she cared about her brother and was probably overprotective, but me being his girlfriend couldn't have been that bad, right?

We got back to work in no time, getting a lot done. I didn't realise how late it was getting until Wanda's mum poked her head in, asking if I wanted to stay for dinner.

"Dinner?" I asked, eyebrows raising with surprise. I checked my watch and realised how long I'd been here. "Damn, maybe I should head back."

"Nonsense, you must stay," her mum insisted. "Y/M/N won't mind. A daughter of hers is a daughter of mine."

"You can even sleepover if you want," Wanda offered, and I almost choked on my own spit. "It's getting pretty late."

I shook my head, forcing a small smile so they wouldn't get offended. "Honestly, it's fine. I can head back."

"Please?" Wanda asked with a hopeful expression. "It's the least I can do. I kinda wasted your time for an hour earlier..."

"I should ask my mum," I said, chewing on the inside of my mouth.

"Oh, I'll ring and let her know," Wanda's mum said breezily, before looking to Wanda. "D'you think you can clear your things up? Your brother is gonna set the table."

"Sure, mum." Wanda smiled her way as she left, before looking to me. "I've got clothes and a spare toothbrush you can use tonight."

I smiled awkwardly, nodding. Sleeping over at my crush's house wasn't how I thought I'd be spending my Wednesday evening, yet here we were.

[hoboblaidd]

Rook rose from this dream within a dream bloody. Solas ignored their trembling, their heaving. He focused instead on the shape half-materializing around them. It was obscured to him, and the brilliance it might have was muted by the prison and impassable distance. But he saw it - saw them. Solas nodded a greeting, as calculated as it is observant. This was old, familiar magic. There were a few immediate options that spring to mind in the absence of any concrete information. Either Rook bound a spirit to protect them, or the spirit had bound itself to them. Given the malice in its ethereal gaze, Solas suspected the latter.

This would not interfere with his plans, but it was an interesting wrinkle in the story of one he’d dismissed as little more than a buffoon. One he would need to tease out when the spirit less agitated and the host less…dramatic.

“Marginally.” Yes, he did feel better. At least now they might dispense of the lectures and pity.

Since this mess had began, every conversation folded in on itself back to him. He was told there was good in him, that he was misguided, that he just needed to see their version of reason. It grated on his last nerve, to be talked to and about as if he were some puzzle to piece together, a wounded animal coaxed to rescue, or a lost lamb in the mountains.

Like he was a project.

For the first time since the ritual, anger at Varric flared in his chest. He’d spun Solas into a character in an impossible play. A wayward friend, a desperate dog, a card played incorrectly. The only difference between Varric’s stories and Dalish legends were that at least the Dalish identified him as something powerful. Varric had cast him as a sad, if cantankerous, thing. It did not matter that they came from love, where the Dalish’s came from lies. Solas was forced to answer Varric’s half-truths as if they were Chantry gospel.

Elgar’nan did not suffer interrogations or answer to his legends. Ghilan’nain did not bear appeals to her better nature. Solas had no desire to be feared, but he had even less a desire to be pitied.

“They were your memories,” he said. “I did not create them.” His mouth twitched into a grin, matching the malice the spirit had a levied on him. “Would you like me to try again?”

As always, Rook answered with performative humor, and the joke fell even flatter on the other side of the abyss. “So I am a man now, and not a god? I suppose that is some sort of progress.”

He shook his head. “You consider a bad dream me hurting you? That was a sliver of what Elgar’nan is capable of. I can suggest a dream. He can dominate your mind.” He already expected the inevitable joke to come from that wording, but there was no point in serving the punchline himself. “Though it may be an impossibility for you, set aside your…colorful epithets and ideas of dazzling him with whimsy, and appreciate him for the very real and very powerful threat he is.”

In truth, it was not so different than Felassan referring to the All-Father as ‘the big asshole,’ or the refugees writing ribald songs that would be blasphemy in court. But Solas had suffered too much of Elgar’nan’s vengeance over thousands of years to make light of it. Solas had watched him move the heavens, erase emotions from the people’s minds, and stab Mythal in the gut. He still bore the scars of the All-Father’s searing rage. If Solas’ display, petty and petulant as it might have been, failed to impress the gravity of Rook’s situation on them, he didn’t know what could.

It is so, so hard not to roll their eyes at him. You knock over one giant statue and stop a world ending ritual and suddenly you are the bad guy. "If I remember correctly the ritual wasn't meant to 'not disturb' the fade, since you were aiming to tear down the dam and let it drown everyone." That's a bit mean, especially after they just mentally tried to reel themself in, but still. The unsaid opinions are clearly spoken on an unimpressed arch of their right brow as they level back Solas' gaze. Unfortunately, if perhaps they hadn't wanted to fidget and pick at their wound, or generally just been more careful, they may have been able to steel themself for what was coming. A wolf's grin is not one that anyone can trust, much less a fox who has strayed too close.

The first shift from the abyss to the new place, wherever it is, makes them flinch. Their sleeping form twitches, so far away from the horrors circling around them. They're stunned by the suddenness, the lack of anything to ground onto as they stumble. They limp a step back and step into decaying flesh and quickly lose their footing as the flesh becomes whole again. The smell of rot and blood overwhelms them as they glance around, their bad eye overwhelmed with colors and-- and-- The Inquisitor shrieks in silence, her life running from her eyes. Hair wraps around her face, one moment curling tight and the next wavy from braids. They see a flicker of vallaslin, of bare skin, of heraldry, and a familiar Kirkwall pin at her nape. Then they only see agony, reaching out to the ghost of a hand, broken apart like the shard of an eluvian.

The next shift makes their body twitch again, curling tight against the back cushions of the couch. Val Royoux they know without a doubt, but this too was wrong. They want to summon their baton, hide their face and throw up a barrier from the-- guard? Demon? Possession? They don't know. The gold seems to bleed around them, the shriek reverberating in their ears in an unearthly silence they can't parse. The flaming weapon sings, but now it sings of a horrible resonance that makes their physical body gasp. Their body sweats as the the blighted beauty sings its terrible song, making them fight against the embrace of love, too young to turn deaf and stay asleep. They step back again, but now they're against a wall. They can smell blight and rot again, the song pounding against their ribs, and they taste the fear. Their fear? The fear of the elves who found them? The fear of a daughter, shoved into a dank, dark place; tasked to hush a crying infant not of her own blood? They don't know.

They're shoved, crumpling into the dark, too small to catch their footing. Their physical body twitches and rolls, thudding down against flagstone without rousing. The fire surrounds them, they watch one family be spared as another must suffer. The dragon speaks, but they can't hear. The silence is a song and they were as deaf as they were blind. The colors kaleidoscope behind their bad eye as old wounds rip open and knit anew, the agony of childhood forced upon them once again. Like a nightmare, it doesn't seem to end. Tumbling through blight, rot, hatred, fire, the first game, the chains, the freedom-- the cage.

They're on their knees when the abyss returns to their senses, the mere lack triggering what confusion had somehow held back. Their physical body sweats and retches, still stubbornly asleep, as their self here-- wherever here may be-- retches in turn. Their eye bleeds anew, throbbing just as bad as it had when the artifact had exploded on them, and they're trying not to cry. Trying not to sob as the pain and confusion clings and clashes; sword against sword, wisdom against pride. They heave, again and again, and their physical body sputters. They were too flat on their back, they were gasping, they were going to choke--

Familiar hands touch them, rounding over their shoulders. The grip pushes them, forcing their body to twist onto its side properly, and let the vomit escape. The hands stay there, dark and formless for just a moment, before they reach deeper. The hands touch the blood bond that tethers the opposing forces between the abyss and should Solas look, should his prison let him see, it's not just a self soothing farce Asha has summoned. The connection is overtaken, just for a moment, and filled with malice. Anger that can only exist in the eternal lashes out, drenched in the blood of countless lives. The formless hands may be like shadows, blurred, but shining with the veins of a spirit. Perhaps instead a demon, with eyes that glower red behind the twisting vines of secretive chains. The anger festers, rotten and twisted, the long forgotten sense of disruption twisted into chaos. Perhaps Solas could recognize that, maybe even the wretched malice of Dirthamen's Needle-- and the paternal anger that floods the connection.

As soon as it comes though, it ends. The formless hand is covered with a flesh hand, shaking and clammy, but nonetheless-- real. "Stop." Asha's voice is weak, watery, but firm. The hijack of the connection abates, the malice fading away into waves of concern, the tidal wave of blood that had been ready to drown the wolf receding back towards Asha. The formless consolidates, taking a blurry shape of an elf. "It's okay." Or better yet-- of a spirit never freed of its bondage. Asha stands slowly, knees knocking together like a halla fawn, and the spirit supports them to their feet. The red eyes shine like rubies now, anger still undoubtedly there, but no longer uncontrolled. Asha shares the same vallaslin as the spirit.

They move slowly, stepping away from the vomit, as they rub at their eye. They blink bloody tears down their face, wheezing softly as their physical body begins to shiver. Still, when they look up, their eyes do not hold hate; hate would be too easy. "Do you feel better now?" They rub their bloody cheek on their sleeve and dust the dirt and bile from their knees. They're still a bit shaky, but they're squaring up their stance, lips peeling into a lopsided grin. "You know, you're lucky-- I usually make men pay me a lot of gold to hurt me." The joke falls a bit flat, their voice wet and warbly, but it is still a joke. It's not like a Tethras to just give up, after all.

"We need to teach you some better dream ideas though; those were shite."

[therenlover]

Therenlover’s Official Fanfic Glossary!

Hey hey hey! This is the place where you can find all my up-to-date fanfics linked nicely, read about what projects I have upcoming, and learn what requests I’m taking at the moment! Cheers!

This post is massive so, for the sake of your dash, everything is under the cut

A NOTE ABOUT REQUESTS!

I will do my best to fulfill any requests I get while my ask box/requests are open! That being said, I cannot promise every request will get done, and that if they do, they’ll be done in a timely manner. I’m currently working on a long-form project that needs a lot of time and energy to come out consistently, so unless I’m doing a writing event most of my writing juice will be focused on that. That being said, if you want something ask! The worst I can possibly do is direct you towards someone else who might be able to write what you want if I cant.

If I choose not to do your request based on personal preference (it makes me uncomfy/I don’t write for the character at that time/I don’t feel I can write what you want/etc.) I will do my best to contact you and let you know! That being said, if you think your ask got buried/forgotten, feel free to message me again and let me know, but please tell me when you message me if I should be looking for a prior request.

Characters/Fandoms I will write for currently

 💙 = I’m Currently Super Inspired To Write For This Character

Marvel/X-Men

Bucky Barnes

Loki

Peter Maximoff 💙

Pietro Maximoff

Helmut Zemo 💙

Hank McCoy

Ralph Bohner 💙

Vision

American Horror Story

Tate Langdon

Kit Walker 💙

Kyle Spencer (Pre- and Post- Death)

Jimmy Darling 💙

James Patrick March 💙

Kai Anderson

Fallout 4

Nick Valentine

Hancock

Star Wars

Poe Dameron

Armitage Hux 💙

Kylo Ren/Ben Solo

Finn

Han Solo

Assorted/Random

Diarmuid Ua Duibhne - FGO

Cu Chulainn/Cu Alter - FGO

Warren Lipka - American Animals 💙

Enjolras - Les Miserables

Grantaire - Les Miserables

Gabriel - Supernatural

Imagines - REQUESTS CLOSED

Songs From Musicals Y/N Would Sing To The Evans

Characters: Tate Langdon, Kit Walker, Kyle Spencer, Jimmy Darling, James Patrick March, Kai Anderson, Peter Maximoff

Rating: T

How The Evans (+ Quicksilver) Would React To Yoplait’s New Gushers Yogurt

Characters: Tate Langdon, Kit Walker, Kyle Spencer, Jimmy Darling, James Patrick March, Rory Monahan, Kai Anderson, Peter Maximoff

Rating: T

Would The Danny Bunch Survive A Holiday With My Family?

Characters: Laszlo Kreizler, Alex Kerner, Niki Lauda, Andrea Marowski, Ernst Schmidt, Helmut Zemo

Rating: T

Headcanons - REQUESTS CLOSED

Modern! AU Armitage Hux Boyfriend Headcanons

Zemo With A Well Dress S/O Headcanons

Zemo Getting Jealous Headcanons

Oneshots - REQUESTS CLOSED

Marvel/X-Men

Helmut Zemo

One Last Night In Madripoor

Synopsis: Baron Helmut Zemo is a lonely, wanted man looking for some fun, you’re a piss-poor bounty hunter in search of a connection before leaving your life of crime behind, and fate has brought you together at a party the likes of which has never been seen before. You only have one night left in Madripoor, so why not take a chance?

Rating: 18+

Word Count: 4200~

Still Some Catching Up To Do

Synopsis: As a member of the criminal underworld, people walk out of your life all the time. Some are killed, others kill themselves, most get caught and only a couple get out of the life unscathed, disappearing into the world never to be seen again. Very few walk back in. So when your supposedly incarcerated ex-lover, the Winter Soldier, and the Falcon waltzed through your door and made you murder your boss, needless to say, you were surprised and more than a little bit pissed.

Rating: 16+

Word Count: 6800~

Nine Years Starved

Synopsis: It had been a little over nine years since Helmut Zemo lost his family, his country, and his sanity. Nine years since his last kiss. Nine years since he felt like a human man. Finally, he was ready to start over again, but first, he had to pay his penance back where it all began; Novi Grad. That’s when, by the grace of the fates, he met you.

Rating: G

Word Count: 7000~

Daddy Dearest

Synopsis: Not everyone gets lucky enough to go from being a broke college student in New York to being the sugar baby to literal royalty, but not everyone is you. Most people would be worried about messing things up or losing him to someone else, but you knew he would never find another baby just like you. Besides, you knew exactly what to do to keep him wrapped around your little finger. He may have been the daddy, but you pulled the reins.

Rating: 18+

Word Count: 8000~

In Fleeting Touches & Airy Sighs

Part One   Part Two   Part Three   Part Four

Synopsis: As a wanted man, Helmut Zemo spends most of his time jumping from place to place in the hopes of avoiding a trip back to prison. Unfortunately, that means he can’t always be home in your arms. When he is, though, in the rare moments of calm, you’re reminded of just how worth it it’s been to wait, even if that wait was only shortened by the arrival of your enemies.

Rating: 18+

Word Count: 35,700~

Two Bodies In The Rain

Synopsis: It was raining the day you finally had to admit your feelings to Helmut. You hated to tell him the way you did, under the grey skies as your blood pooled below you, but at least you knew, in the end, he had seen the real you, even just once. That was enough.

Rating: T

Word Count: 5600~

Rest

Synopsis: Living life on the lam with your escaped super-villain lover means things rarely slow down enough for a real rest. When the exhaustion starts to take its toll on you, though, he knows exactly what to do to ease the pain. He may not be a good man, but he’s a good husband when it counts.

Rating: T

Word Count: 3200~

American Horror Story

Jimmy Darling

Red Nights In Jupiter

Synopsis: At the end of another long day, you fall into bed with Jimmy Darling. The men you served throughout the day don’t matter then, nor do the coins in the mason jar by the door, or the women scheduled to attend Jimmy’s next Tupperware party. No, in that quiet darkness it’s just you and the man you love, bone-tired and happy to be home. Who could ask for more?

Rating: 16+

Word Count: 3000~

James Patrick March

Heartsick

Synopsis: When you fall ill, James is given a forceful awakening about how he’s been neglecting your needs and what he must do to prevent harm from befalling you again.

Rating: 16+

Word Count: 3700~

In Sickness And In Health

Synopsis: Normally people don’t have their wedding and funeral on the same day, but you and James don’t quite have a normal relationship, do you? Besides, you wouldn’t wanna go any other way.

Rating: 18+

Word Count: 5500~

Fallout 4

Currently Empty

Star Wars

Currently Empty

Assorted/Random

Currently Empty

Long Form Works/Series

Young Artist!Zemo AU

Chapter One: The Boy With The Easel

Synopsis: About a month into your first semester at Novi Grad’s top university, you finally meet the strange young man that you’ve taken to calling “easel boy” in the back of a bookshop. From a distance, he always seemed cold and aloof. As you get to know him, though, you realize things aren’t always what they seem.

Rating: T

Word Count: 7000~

Till Forever Falls Apart (A Peter Maximoff/Reader Series)

Chapter One: Welcome Home

Synopsis: As if getting thrown through the multiverse, trapped in an attic (albeit a cool one), mind-controlled to manipulate his grieving sister, and subsequently dragged out of Westview “for his own safety” by the FBI wasn’t enough, Peter Maximoff has now been shipped off to New York to live with a glorified baby sitter like some tragic orphan in a comic book until they find a way to get him back home. Things are not always as they seem, though, and this change might just be for the better.

Rating: T

Word Count: 2400~

Chapter Two: The Doctor Is In

Synopsis: Peter’s first few days in his new home are mostly uneventful, so he decides it’s the perfect time to dust off his running goggles and steal some shit. The building with the massive circular stained glass window seems like a great place to start! People with buildings that lavish are usually rich and weak, so what could possibly go wrong?

Rating: T

Word Count: 2800~

Chapter Three: It’s Always Been You

Synopsis: After a month of adapting to his new universe, Peter Maximoff can confidently say that he likes his new life more than his old one. Sure, he misses home sometimes, but he’s been far too busy flirting with his new roommate to spend time crying over the things he’s lost. Everything is smooth sailing until a strange journal in his roommate’s study leaves him with more questions than he knows what to do with. Now he’s on a mission to discover who he’s really living with before she has the chance to turn against him.

Rating: T

Word Count: 8600~

Chapter Four: Before You Go

Synopsis: Peter, after days of contemplation, has realized that part of him loves Y/N no matter what she is or what she’s been through. Unfortunately, he can’t find her anywhere. When she finally returns home with the intention of leaving again, Peter realizes it’s his last chance to tell her how he really feels. Will he succeed, or will he fail to be fast enough once again?

Rating: T

Word Count: 4000~

Chapter Four And A Half: Gimme Swayze

Synopsis: Now that the issue of Y/N leaving is out of the way, and Peter has finally kissed her, he falls into the motions of learning how to love someone for the first time. It’s easier than he thought it would be.

Rating: T

Word Count; 2600~

Cakes For The Evans: A Blogging And Baking Adventure!

Kai Anderson’s Disaster Cake

Hey you! If you’ve made it this far down the list, thanks for supporting me as an author! I’ll be linking my AO3 here. I post everything there shortly before I post it here, and there are some older fics there you might enjoy along the way! It’s also easier to drop comments over there and I keep them open for non-members, so give me a shout if you liked what I wrote!

I love you all, you make me so happy, and without you support I would never be motivated to write! Cheers!