Jeffrey Combs characters datability tier list
With explanations; A to D, left to right
-Anton Mordrid
Pros: Literally the perfect man. Intelligent, honest, respects you, owns a bird. Communicative.
Cons: A landlord
-The guy from Cyclone (I don't care)
Pros: Very smart, respects your intelligence, will participate in your hobbies even if they don't align with his interests. Charismatic and flirty
Cons: Might die and leave you with the task of protecting a super weapon from the shadow government
-Crawford Tillingast
Pros: Earnest, hardworking, very sweet, intelligent. Will probably remember your birthday. Wears oversized sweaters you can steal
Cons: A pushover, really bad luck, probably not fully emotionally ready for a relationship
-Chaz
Pros: A dork and seemingly a wimp, but will actually surprisingly brave when necessary. Well dressed. Objectively very cute
Cons: Is named Chaz. Complains a good bit, kinda snippy. Infectious anxiety
-Andrew Paris
Pros: Fine as fuck yet highkey a dork, will tell you interesting facts about things. Does his best to be a gentleman
Cons: Kind of incompetent, impulsive. Won't set up boundaries with people trying to hit on him. Seems experienced, but I don't think he's ever touched a boob.
-Dr. Haggis
Pros: Strong morals and will do what he can to uphold them, able to keep a level head in difficult situations. Takes care of those around him. Respects you and takes what you say into serious consideration.
Cons: Lack of confidence, won't say what he means. Alcoholic and smoker with no sign of wanting to change, used as coping mechanism. Pessimistic
-John Riley
Pros: Puts on a brave face, optimistic, hard worker. Loves his family very deeply. Genuinely trying to fix his issues. Will make the right decision when push comes to shove.
Cons: Alcoholic in a way that endangers those around him. Wants conflict to resolve on its own, uncommunicative, will lie to you. When he slips, he slips hard. Has potential to be unfaithful
-Dinosaur Bob
Pros: Fun and carefree, will take you on the ride of your life. Cool mustache. Sees you as an equal
Cons: A bit TOO carefree, irresponsible and impulsive. Does a LOT of drugs and will probably try to get you to do them. Sociopathic and violent tendencies. No morals.
-Francisco
Pros: Confident. Will accept when he is genuinely wrong. Impartial party, focused on facts.
Cons: Literally no opinions of his own, will let awful things happen because an authority says it's fine. That haircut and those glasses. Extremely desensitized to violence. "Facts over feelings" motherfucker
-Shepard Lambrick
Pros: Sugar daddy, will buy you a lot of nice things and you'll definitely get in the will. Cool mustache. Doesn't let people disrespect you.
Cons: Sociopathic and violent tendencies, enjoys other's suffering. Manipulative. One percenter and proud of it. Pushes boundaries.
-Herbert West
Pros: Intelligent, passionate. Will give you gifts. Includes you in his hobbies. Does the 🥺 face
Cons: Will not listen to you nor respect your boundaries. Grand gestures instead of communication, love-bombing. Extremely jealous. Manipulative. Sociopathic and violent tendencies. Condescending, thinks he's better than everyone else, no respect for anything or anyone. Impulsive. Does the 🥺 face
-Milton Dammers
Pros: Passionate and hard working. Speaks his mind.
Cons: Will not listen to you, no ability to compromise. Probably smells bad, greasy hair. Aware of his faults and has no want to change. Obsessive. Probably into some weird shit
-John
Pros: Ridiculously hot, will rock your world. Will break rules with you, in a hot way. Makes you feel appreciated
Cons: Will suicide bait you, ridiculously manipulative. Will ghost you. Kisses a rat on the mouth. Your boundaries? Never heard of them. Will love bomb you and hold that above your head.
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My dad is simultaneously a craft beer guy, a fancy coffee guy, and a wine connoisseur guy. Partially because of this I don’t drink coffee or alcohol, but I still grew up hearing about them constantly to the point of having lots of information about them permanently lodged in my brain despite not being at all useful to me. This is a long winded way of providing context for the following: I just saw a post that mentioned the waiter giving you the wine cork at a restaurant to smell, something that is customary for them to prove to you that the wine was properly sealed and didn’t go bad before they pour you a glass. But what immediately came to mind was how my dad told me that the real sophisticated high level wine connoisseur move is to roll the cork on the table and look for cracks in order to “spare your nose from smelling wine that has gone bad.” Having this thought pop into my head gives me secondhand embarrassment at the mere thought of the kind of asshole you would have to be to correct someone on their cork smelling technique.
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today on the train home the guy next to me was on his phone and at one point i saw him go on tumblr and he just had like. a normie dash. like it was all photography. of nature and architecture. he was using tumblr the way a heterosexual landscaper for rich people might use instagram. i actually had to watch his screen for a few seconds to be sure it really was tumblr because i was so taken aback by the content he was viewing. this is why algorithmless websites are so beautiful btw because i genuinely didn't know that this side of tumblr even existed. he didn't even so much as scroll past any text posts.
EDIT: look i'm not going to turn off reblogs but i cannot stress enough that THIS WASN'T A HIPSTER BLOG DASH IT WASN'T AN AESTHETIC BLOG DASH IT WAS THE MOST WILDLY GENERIC COLLECTION OF IMAGES YOU HAVE EVER SEEN IN YOUR LIFE. I AM NOT EXAGGERATING OR BEING A QUIRKY FANDOM TUMBLRINA WHEN I SAY "NORMIE" I GENUINELY MEAN "SO NORMAL THAT IT CIRCLES AROUND TO WEIRD". CAN ANYBODY HEAR ME? HELLO?
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