#Total War: Three Kingdoms

[trisshawkeye]

I got Total War: Three Kingdoms from @liobi for Christmas, so I've started playing as Gongsun Zan, just to be contrary, and so I can start off with Zhao Yun from the get-go lol

I'm gonna kick EVERYBODY'S ass

[dawnbatkmt]

[andykilgore]

finished all the moodboards i had planned, considered, or even dreamed of yesterday . so. back to zero ..

anyway. you should TOTALLY TOTALLY TOTALLY leave requests on my moodboard account, @workin-bots .. . . . .

I do a TON of fandoms: Starkid, Tincanbros, Cookie Run, DBH, The Wizard of Oz, and way more!!! plus moots can do any fandom or oc! and you can leave AS MANY ASKS as you want !!! [as long as its only three per ask, leave as many asks as you please ! i actually love getting multiple requests it makes me giggle .. ./pos]

[taemasuchrzan]

Biased opinion - Nanzhong Champions

Welcome again to the place where bias incompetence and gaming merge into shitposts! Its your host taemasu and getting that out of the way lets start with this bastards:

So i heard you like frontline units, so i decided to put some frontline into your frontline unit. Yes finaly something i can aprove as nanman frontline! Not my first choise but still! I played alot with this beautifull bastards and they manage as your sturdy frontline, highest armor you will find on nanman unit and high morale alone make champions worth considering but they also have total mele dodge at 53 (counting shields) which while not the highest among nanmans is still good enough for them to do their job their Direct competition would be valley tribesmen and they have two things that will speak in their favor and make me pick them rather than tribesman who on paper have better stats. One is shieldbreaker, on something you meet enemy frontline its invaluable especialy since if you pick mele frontline you should pick flanking spears to go toghether, you want to have something to kill cavalery with after all. They also have hevy infantry special! Turtle! No more feearing crosbows and archers you can stand proudly and make enemy waste their ammo! So yea i like champions and would suggest paring them with Javelin spearmen or Wolf packs both units i will talk about when going over spear units.

So that would be all from me stay safe and stand proud for you have achived frontline!

[ray-elgatodormido]

I was just randomly listening to Bring Me to Life by Evanescence and made this in like 2 minutes.

[grand-theft-carbohydrates]

OK I HAVEN'T SEEN ANYONE TALK ABOUT THIS YET SO IM GOING TO ASSUME YALL HAVEN'T SEEN IT this is from total war: 3 kingdoms and I am fucking obsessed with all their game trailers because it is 100% made by people who Get It. Favourite things:

1/ the SONG. the FUCKING SONG. ok. this is based on the poem "Hard Roads to Shu" by Tang Dynasty poet Li Bai. The road to Shu was a treacherous mountain path that once led to sichuan and it's also a HOMOPHONE for the Kingdom of Shu Han, which Liu Bei creates with blood, sweat and tears. The first verse, as Liu Bei's army prepares to face Cao Cao: "The road to Shu is hard. As hard as climbing the great blue sky." the verse that plays when Liu Bei falls: "The ground splits, mountains fall, and stout heroes die."

2/ All the citizens are running while Liu Bei and his sworn brothers are walking towards the danger. 3/ Liu Bei helps a fallen man onto his feet. later on, it is the people who do not lose faith in him as his sworn brothers + zhao yun lift him back onto his feet (zhuge liang is also there!). the man lui bei helped before is the one who gives him back his sword.

4/ SMASH CUT TO THE BATTLE OF CHIBI, WITH LUI BEI LEADING THE LAND ATTACK.

5/ ok. yknow. when Cao Cao's calvary is seconds from bearing down on Lui Bei, the dust of their hooves blotting out the sun, and the last thing lui bei does is glance behind him to look at the fleeing refugees???????????? im frothing at the fucking mouth.

5/ im so inordinately pleased with Cao Cao's single, wordless gesture commanding his men to charge. he gets like 3 seconds of screentime and it's used SO well.

6/ I just really, really, really like the overhead shots showing the battle formations ok??? im a slut for a good battle formation. (small nitpick, lui bei actually outnumbered cao cao 2-1. not that it mattered, they were still totally outmatched bc they were basically all footsoldiers. i get this is visual shorthand to show they're the underdog, but still.)

7/ *gasp!* guan yu if you're here at dangyang then who is at jiangling escorting the refugees? you know what, i'll get it slide just this once because it's just that badass.

8/ im such a slut for historically accurate battle tactics you have NO idea, like that little detail of the archers retreating behind the pikemen and see how the pikemen are all STANDING STILL, bracing their ji INTO THE GROUND and NOT CHARGING? pay attention john woo that's how you're suppose to use a polearm against calvary!!!!

9/ OMG these are crossbolt archers!!!! hell yeah!!! also has the implication that lui bei has a less skilled, run-down peasant militia

10/ zhang fei's little wink before the battle. god how do these people sum up their personalities in .5 seconds so well????? 11/ I SEE THEM. I SEE THE BOYS. THEY INCLUDED HIS BIG STUPID DUMBO EARS!!!!!!!!!!!!! 100000/10 NO FUCKING NOTES.

[hardcoregamer]

10 Games To Play If You Love Manor Lords

But while waiting for the next Manor Lords update, you can try out any of these games to enjoy some intense tactical combat and get the satisfaction of watching your tiny village grow into a bustling town.

Take a look!

[dad-nixilis]

God I'm really getting back into Total War Three Kingdoms. Such a fun game. The intersection of total war and my love of Romance of the Three Kingdoms games.

Look at my boy! Go, He Yi, go! Dismantle the Han with your pointy stick!

Also Im up way too late I have to work in the morning. Fuck.

[dawnbatkmt]

[doyoulikethissong-poll]

Gnarls Barkley - Crazy 2006

"Crazy" is the debut single of American soul duo Gnarls Barkley, taken from their 2006 debut album, St. Elsewhere. It became the first single to top the UK Singles Chart on download sales alone. The song remained at the top of the British charts for nine weeks, the longest number-one spell for more than ten years. The band and their record company then decided to remove the single from music stores in the country (while keeping the download available) so people would "remember the song fondly and not get sick of it". "Crazy" dropped to number five, before disappearing completely from the chart, as under chart rules a physically deleted single could not remain on the chart longer than two weeks after deletion date. Thus, "Crazy" made history at both ends of its chart run. It marked the most rapid exit from the British chart ever for a former number one, and number five was the highest position at which a single has ever spent its final week on the chart at that point.

In spite of this deletion, the song was the best-selling single of 2006 in the UK. In December 2006, it was nominated for the United Kingdom's Record of the Year but lost to "Patience" by Take That. "Crazy" won a Grammy Award for Best Urban/Alternative Performance in 2007 and was also nominated for Record of the Year, and it won a 2006 MTV Europe Music Award for Best Song. The music video was nominated for three 2006 MTV Video Music Awards: Best Group Video, Best Direction, and Best Editing, and won the latter two. It was also nominated for a 2006 MTV Europe Music Award for Best Video. "Crazy" was named the best song of 2006 by Rolling Stone and by The Village Voice's annual Pazz & Jop critics poll. "Crazy" was performed at the 2006 MTV Movie Awards, with Danger Mouse and Green dressed as various Star Wars characters.

The single entered multiple other single charts throughout Europe, including the German, the Swedish, the Austrian and the Irish Singles Charts, and the Dutch Top 40, resulting in a number one position on the European Hot 100 Singles. "Crazy" also performed strongly outside Europe, with top-five positions on the New Zealand and Australian Single Charts, and was also certified gold in both countries. In the US, the song "Crazy" spent seven consecutive weeks in the number-two spot on the Billboard Hot 100.

Musically, "Crazy" was inspired by film scores of Spaghetti Westerns, in particular by the works of Ennio Morricone, and the song "Last Men Standing" by Gian Piero Reverberi and Gian Franco Reverberi from the 1968 Spaghetti Western Django, Prepare a Coffin, an unofficial prequel to Django. "Crazy" samples the song, and also utilizes parts of the main melody and chord structure. Because of this, the Reverberis are credited as songwriters along with CeeLo Green and Danger Mouse. "Crazy" was used in several films and TV shows including Kick-Ass, I Think I Love My Wife, Religulous, The Big Short, Cold Case, How to Rock, Grey's Anatomy, Medium, Boyhood, and It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

"Crazy" received a total of 86,8% yes votes!

[kingdoms-and-empires]

"How exactly will the politics route differ based on gender?"

That was a question asked by someone recently on the forums, and specifically, the question is about after the Prologue is released.

The Upbringing Arc will deal with three main routes.

Princess goes south with Adelina, Prince goes west with Remiel, Squire goes north with Uriel.

This will provide three different routes with three different casts of characters with three sets of overarching problems we need to resolve.

Basically, our 14th year on Nareth is a big one where lots of shit is happening at once.

But you can only be at one place while the other two fires resolve themselves.

If we decide to go through the Prince Route

We accompany Remiel to the west and see what the issue is over in Silverhill and the mining production. Why has it stalled? That’s a crisis in the making and requires the Old King coming down from the north against the V’era to remedy. He brings along the Page retinue of our father, while he takes the Squires with him up north.

We meet Veriel and Lucina here, though we wont see them much. Also, this is the route many of you will be familiar with in previous versions, combining both the original and 300k versions together while tweaking many things. (Visit and travel to Silverhill+Malenos town and the unrest)

If we decide to go through the Princess Route

We accompany Mama Adelina to the south with the rest of the ladies-in-waiting since the tensions in the south have risen to the point the Queen has to visit to calm the region with hands-on governance.

As such, we visit the courts of the southern duchies and try to help mom mediate the growing unrest between the Duchies of Caerlion, Blackrun, and Ulfram. These southern duchies are known for being more “civilized” and courtly than the others, and the reason our mother has to personally come is because Blackrun and Ulfram produce the majority of the food in the kingdom, and Caerlion and Blackrun ships it.

A disruption in the supply chain/kingdom logistics would be devastating for the progress our parents have made, thus requiring her physical presence to control the situation and ducal houses.

If we decide to go through the Squire Route

War, war never changes…

Our father arrives with the Squires in tow and his retinue, to forcibly pacify the region once total war breaks out. Only thing ill spoil from what ive said previously, is that the inspiration here will be Caesar in Gaul.

Here, we’ll see the Awakened and Blessings at work/in-conflict, and realize why our father has tried so hard to keep the peace through the years.

It’s supposed to be a huge tone shift from the Prince/Princess routes, and reveal more about our father as he takes center stage, and shows why exactly Imperial Prince Gareth is cautious about unnecessarily provoking him.

We fight alongside our father, and get a glimpse of the man that swiftly brought an end to the Lymarkian War. I actually can’t wait to show what a peace-loving man forced to war means in pragmatic reality.

While we fight, and inevitably win, the main issue at play here is that we directly influence just how similar the War in the North mirrors Caesar in Gaul.

[taemasuchrzan]

Biased opinion - Wolf Pack

Hello and welcone back today with me are Disney rejects with anger managment problem and to much sharpened wood at hand. That out of the way lets start with this bastards:

Wolfs are big canaine predators prone to hunting in packs. In close proximity they mutualy trigger usefull buffs on eachother. Look there is lone unit near tree line, prime target for this predators. Wolfs aroach prey with two units moving within coverage of forest they will first strike it with devastating ranged attack before running their terrified prey down. One will cach target and other encircle it for flanking attack harsh terrain will only help Pack bring down its pray. Ye preety fast, decent attack, decent defence but no shields and javelin, run down enemy flanks in grups of two and watch as they waver.

Okey that was something diffrent i think and now we are over another stabba. Stay strong and may the pack be with you

[archpaladin]

I mean, she didn't need to COMPETE with the naked men with swords, Meng Huo was her husband, they were as much HER naked men with swords as his!

[skzdarlings]

the kingsguard ; jisung x reader ; part i

part one | part two | part three | part four | part five | part six | tba | ao3 link

pairing: han jisung/reader summary: You are a queen. He is a kingsguard - a member of a holy order that vows to defend the king in the name of the gods. They forsake all earthly goods and swear a vow of chastity to avoid all worldly temptation. When he stands in as proxy for the royal wedding, all those vows are tested.

content info: later chapters get smutty. reader has some physical description: mentions of her having very curly hair and a more curvy body.

content warnings: a royal affair between queen reader and guard jisung. the king is a violently abusive man. this chapter contains a scene of physical violence and attempted sexual assault against the reader who later has a panicked reaction. reader also believes sex is not pleasurable (but learns different to say the least).

please proceed at your own discretion.

chapter word count: 5100 words.

-

There is no groom at your wedding.  Your betrothed is too hungover to attend the ceremony.

You are disappointed but not surprised.  Last night, your father hosted a welcome banquet but your husband-to-be ignored the lavish festivities in favour of drinking himself into a stupor.  It did not matter that banners were hung in the great hall, that a feast was prepared, that the palace glittered in anticipation of his arrival.  It did not matter that you were made a vision, resplendent in ivory and pearl, prepared and perfected just for him. 

The house, the money, the bride.  It did not matter at all.     

Such insult would not have been tolerated in a man, but he is a king.  Only the heavens can issue him orders, just as he commands common blood like yours. 

Your family is wealthy but your father’s land sits at the border.  Many at court consider you foreigners in all but paperwork.  Regardless of that status, your family owns the most prosperous land in the kingdom – a kingdom with coffers long since drained from an overseas war that reaped nothing but blood. 

This arrangement will save the kingdom and your betrothed knows that, but he is not happy to marry for money when his bloodline is better.  The king holds nothing but disdain for your union and last night it moved like a poisonous mist through your home. 

There was nothing you could do.  You sat and watched your royal betrothed make a crude mockery of your arranged marriage.  He travelled to your lands with a contingency of courtiers and they filled your house with his contempt.  He spent the night belittling your family name, sneering at you, and pawing at the servant girls between drinks.   

The king drank.  The courtiers laughed. 

Only one group extended any civility towards you at all. 

“His Majesty sends his regards,” the leader speaks to you now. 

He is in black robes, a sword at his hip.  Bang Chan is captain of the holy kingsguard, an ancient order sworn to defend heaven’s earthly sovereign.  There is nothing holy about the degenerate king but his kingsguard is an ordained ministry nonetheless.  They surrender all earthly goods and fortunes, devoting themselves to service and soldiership.  That includes a vow of total chastity so they are the only men permitted to perceive the future queen prior to the ceremony. 

What little remains of the ceremony.   

The soldier informs you the ceremony will now be conducted by proxy.  The king is bedridden today, but the wedding cannot be delayed as he is needed back at court and the return journey is long. 

Chan is polite and respectful.  He does not mention that the marriage cannot be delayed because the king wants money now.  You are certain your betrothed’s condemnation of his otherwise worthless bride was rather more unkind.   

You remember the cold eyes of his courtiers, his even crueler sneer, and you blink back tears.    

“I understand,” you say.  You are practiced at maintaining grace in the greatest adversity.  “Thank you, soldier.” 

Chan wears a pitying expression.  It looks like he wants to say more but he knows his place.  The kingsguard is the strictest order in the kingdom.  Only the most devout are granted the black cloth and silver sword. 

“Your Majesty,” he says with a bow. 

You are not a majesty yet.  You have weddings vows to swear to a stranger first.

Until then, you are just another woman.

-

You made the wedding dress yourself.  You have always enjoyed the craft of needlework, even where certain jobs could be passed along to a seamstress.  Growing up, you spent more hours alongside the working women than at your mother’s table, a behaviour that was indulged until the war. 

You run your fingers along every familiar stitch, tracing the embroidered floral patterns down your forearm.  You always wanted a spring wedding but it was not meant to be.  You enter the hall with the hot summer sun pouring over the crystal and marble. 

It is an ostentatious ceremony.  The king could not afford such a spectacle.  It makes you think he absconded on purpose.  What better way to wrestle back his dignity than to disregard the expensive ceremony?  He kept decorum and travelled to collect his bride only to snub the household in the end.   

The king’s absence is felt more than your presence.  It turns the grandeur of the hall into a theatrical farce.  Courtiers giggle behind their hands, the traditionalists casting you looks of disapproval. 

Your own family smiles and you smile weakly back. 

For all their faults, you love your family.  They thought they were doing something good by arranging this marriage.  A small, childish part of you even hoped they were right, but that hope is gone now.  You have resigned yourself to the sad reality of the world.  Life is a dreary grey save what small bits of colour one dares sew into its seams. 

There are flashes of black cloth around the hall.  Chan is not among the present kingsguards as the leader stays close to the king, but a handful of the regiment has been spared to witness the proxy vows.

You recognize a soldier named Hyunjin, standing apart for his beauty as much as position.  Several of the ladies tittered about him last night, lamenting that such a handsome form was sworn to a chaste life. 

You do not recognize the other two.  One is shorter and stocky.  The other has silver hair and a freckled face, smiling at you from the far corner.  You stare back at him, taking the proffered comfort of that open sweetness. 

You finally reach the front of the hall.  You step onto the dais.  The minister rises and a hush cascades down the congregation. 

You worry your pounding heart can be heard in the highest arches of the hall. 

The first words of the ceremony are a name. 

“Han Jisung,” the minister says.  It echoes with a swinging reverberation. “As an ordained soldier of the kingsguard, you have been called upon by His Holy Majesty to stand in proxy for the swearing of the vows.”

Footsteps break the silence, beat by beat.  Someone ascends the dais. 

You do not look at him.  You cast your eyes up to the arches of the great hall, tracing the grandiose architecture.  It carries cultural traces of the borderlands.  The art of this place is home to you, though it draws ire from the courtiers behind you. 

You think that you may never feel so at home again, that you will never gaze upon such beauty, then you turn and catch the warmth of deep brown eyes.  You see the man who will receive your vows on behalf of the king. 

Your racing heart stumbles over itself. 

Han Jisung.  You did not know his name until now.  You recognize this soldier from the banquet last night.  

The stranger stands beside you.  His nails are painted black, stark where he rests his hand on the silver hilt of his sword.  His hair is as black as his midnight robes, his brown eyes darkly lined, but his intimidating shadows are softened by the gentler, roundish shape of his face.  There is a raw and open tenderness, even where he tries to stifle it with appropriate solemnity. 

Your eyes are drawn to his lips and you remember his smile last night.  Jisung strode into the banquet with a sword at his hip and a guitar on his back.  It is not unusual for the kingsguard to have a bard, someone who can conjure a flattering song at a whim, who can perform as if the gods speak through his guitar strings.  That is Han Jisung.    

Last night, while people danced and drank, you sank further and further into yourself.  You smiled prettily but all the spring blossoms in your heart rotted as the summer sunset turned to a miserable black gloaming.  Torches were lit and the cackling faces on spinning bodies looked like demons in the lamplight.  The king ignored you so everyone else did the same. 

Jisung, armed with a guitar, was enchanting a crowd of courtiers and some local palace residents.  You watched from a distant seat.  You could not help but stare, captivated by this stranger, this combination of soldier and musician and holy man.  His glowing face in the torchlight was a solitary beacon, his smile more intoxicating than the ever-flowing wine.  His laughter rang out like a symphonic chord, travelling the air to touch your ears where you sat alone. 

The man was no one to you, just another stranger in your home, but there was such a simple, honest delight to him. 

He just seemed so alive.   

You were not prepared for the moment he met your gaze.  His black robes swished as he jumped, his dark hair bouncing. His eyes seemed to flash gold in the firelight.  He stood on a chair above the crowd and said, “A song for the future queen!” 

He sang about the springtime, not even knowing you cherished it so much.  Perhaps the gods truly spoke through his guitar strings.  He sang of new beginnings and hopeful seasons and cherry blossoms. 

You smiled.

It was your first real smile all day. 

He looks at you now, a flicker of something kind in his dark eyes.  You see that twinkle only briefly because he dips into a respectful bow.

You unravel at the sight. 

You imagine truly marrying this man, swearing oaths to him and not some wretched figment he serves.  You imagine the promise of laughter.  You imagine those warm eyes seeking you across the room.  You imagine a song every spring. 

You know it is a fantasy.  This man is a stranger and that version of him is a fabrication.  Your heart breaks because that version of you – the girl who is happy for the rest of her life – is just as much an impossible fantasy. 

Jisung looks up while bowing.  He meets your gaze as a tear trickles down your cheek.  No one else notices, just like one else noticed you last night.

As he straightens, his polite smile falters, his brow furrowing with thought. 

You jump when he flicks his wrist as if batting a fly.  The discreet sweep of his thumb across your cheek is so fast that you only know it happened because the tear track dries. 

“In the name of the gods,” the minister speaks, “the ancient and the almighty, we gather here today to unite in matrimony the holiest of subjects.  This couple has been brought together through heaven’s all-knowing divine intervention.”   

You bow your head.  There is nothing else you can do.  You listen to the recitations and make your oaths when prompted.  You swear before gods and men to serve your husband, to obey him, to always be pure and faithful to him. 

“The gods grant you to speak on behalf of the divine blood,” the minister says to Jisung. 

You look at Jisung.  He is already looking at you.  His gaze darts down your dress, across the floral embroidery, and lands at your feet. 

Your breath catches when he slowly gets down on one knee, keeping his head bowed and eyes down.  A gentle murmur disturbs the congregation but there is no outrage.  The king would not have bowed before the queen but the genuflection of a proxy is arguably appropriate.   

“I swear,” Jisung says, his theatrical voice replaced with a gentler rasp that tingles up your spine, “I will honour you as a wife and a queen.  I will revere you as the gods’ chosen consort.”   He looks up, his lashes long and dark, his brown eyes so big and warm.  You think he is so beautiful and it makes your heart pang.  That ache deepens when he smiles and says,  “I will be your protector.  Until the day I die, no harm will ever come to you.”   

He stands.  Blessings are made.  The minister pronounces the union has been sanctified by the gods.  The congregation kneels in genuflection, respectful of the rituals even if they do not like you.   You stand on the dais above them all, maintaining a stoic expression.

You are a wife and a queen, though your husband is nowhere in sight.  Your eyes stray to a head of dark hair, bowed with the rest of them. 

Jisung looks up, a bit of that hair falling over his eyes.  He flashes a smile. 

Your heart picks itself up and starts running again. 

You cannot do this. 

You thought you could try for the sake of your family.  You thought you could try for the sake of the gods.  You thought you could try for the sake of the kingdom and all the innocent people within it. 

Then the king came to your chamber.  He did not attend the wedding feast, just as he did not attend the ceremony.  It was a fair excuse to make an early departure so you returned to your room while the music played and wine flowed.  You were exhausted, emotionally weary, and your face was sore from so many false smiles. 

You discarded your elaborate gown.  You were in a shift, sitting at your vanity and removing jewelry, when the king arrived.  He did not announce himself or knock.  He threw open the door and marched inside like a conquering force.  He looked over your room with a scrunched face of displeasure, grimacing as if he was standing in a barnyard.  He looked at you with the same hateful distaste.     

Your throat closed up as if you inhaled poison.

You stood on shaking legs.  You had practiced a speech for this moment.  You thought perhaps you could convince the king to regard you as a decent friend if not a cherished wife.  You were willing to compromise on happiness. 

He backhanded you without hesitation.  No one had ever hit you so hard.  It felt as though he struck you with hot iron, your cheek a stinging welt.  Bells seemed to drown out the music downstairs.  

“Sire,” you said, your voice shaking worse than your legs.   

You found you could not look at him directly.  Your eyes burned just turning towards him. 

“Get on the bed,” he said.  “Wife.”  He might as well have said whore as the word was spat.   

You never expected to enjoy your wedding night.  Women know there is no pleasure in acts of copulation.  This was something worse.  You approached the bed like a deer skirts the edge of the woods.  One wrong step and you knew you this hunter would attack. 

He grabbed you from behind before you could sit.  You slammed your eyes shut, curled your fists tighter.

In the darkness, you heard music, a distant voice belting some sweeter tune.  You recognized Jisung, his crystalline voice soaring above the bells. Your heart chased the sound, a desperate stampede up your body.  It seized control. 

Before the king could do more harm, you blurted, “I’ve started my monthly bleeding.”

He stopped, the hem of your shift in his fists.

“Just – just so you know,” you said. 

It was a lie.  You braced yourself for the worst.  If he chose to disregard it, if he chose to take you anyway, he would quickly see there was no blood and you were trying to deceive him.  He had rights as a husband and it was sinful to deny him. 

He made a sound like gagging.  He shoved you forward. 

You collapsed in a heap on the bed.  You are not sure if he looked at you again because you hid your face in the blankets.  Hiding like a child hides, as if the world could disappear by not seeing it. 

“I will not have you on the road,” he said.  “You’re filthy enough as is.  When we reach civilized society, you will be made as appropriate as you can be.  You will be cleaned, you will lose weight, you will be made to look halfway respectable, not like some borderland animal laying in its own filth. I will have you then without exception.  Wife.” 

You shuddered when the door slammed shut. 

The sun was still setting when he left.  It has long since vanished from the sky but you have not moved.  You fear if you lift your head, he will be there, waiting to strike. 

After a long, long time, you surface.  Your room is empty.  The lavender light of sunset is gone, leaving behind a puddle of moonlight.  It trickles between the curtains, pours down your back.  You shiver.  You touch your cheek and find it is still tender. 

You try to pray but there is no answer.  Even the music has ended. 

In the ringing silence, you stand.  Your body is sore from curling up for so long.  It takes some pacing to straighten fully.  Back and forth, across your room.  Back and forth, in the silence. 

I cannot do this.  Back and forth, the same thought, again and again. 

Disobeying the king is unlawful.  Abandoning him when you have sworn an oath is treasonous.  Even the kingsguards are bound to their vows for life.   If a soldier breaks his oath, he is put to death, swift and sure.  The punishment for a disobedient wife is the same. 

The silence is agonizing. 

You know what you have to do.   It will not be easy.  The risks are great but you would rather die a swift death than suffer the slow poisoning of contempt. 

You have to try for sake of yourself. 

-

Your adrenaline pounds.  You pack all your jewelry in a sack to sell.  You bring some clean clothes.

There are servant clothes in a stack by the unlit fireplace because you mend their worn garments during the busy seasons.  They are always appreciative and you like helping people. 

You don a pageboy’s garb and tuck your hair into a hat.  The king commented on your build and you grant it gives you away, built with your mother’s curves with a cascade of your father’s curly black hair.  You hide all your prominent features as best you can. You will be more inconspicuous as a roaming servant boy. 

You tip-toe into the corridor, uncertain if the hallway is guarded.  The palace is usually safe but you are a queen now, so maybe the king sent guards.  Protecting you was in his oath, after all.  The king is beholden to oaths sworn to the gods.

At least, he should be held to his oaths.  

The hallway is empty but you are hardly aggrieved.  You seize the opportunity and let your racing heart carry you away. 

Down the hall, down the winding stairs, through the kitchen, past the door.  You slow to a nonchalant canter when passing other servants, making sure to turn your face down and keep to the shadows.  Everyone is either busy, drunk, or tired, so you manage to slip past without notice. 

Once you are alone outside, you break into a run.  You do not leave yourself a moment to think.  If you begin to doubt, you will falter, and this will all be over. 

You are panting and sweating by the time you reach the stables.  You are not exactly in the habit of great exertion.  You take a moment to catch your breath while scanning for guards because there must be some.  The courtiers have their animals in camps around the palace but the king’s horses are stabled.  The kingsguards have alternated shifts to keep an eye on the king’s property.  

There are no guards to be found.  You approach the stable with cautious steps and slip inside when no one appears.  A lit lamp is swinging near the door as though it was recently bumped, but no one is there.  The horses shuffle and sweep their tails but it is otherwise silent.     

You step to the first stall.  Your heartbeat is erratic and it pounds harder when you find a horse already bridled.  Did they forget to remove the saddle?  This is one of your father’s horses and that is unusual, but you do not question it. 

You lead the horse out of the stall and into the middle of the stable.  You speak gentle nothings to him.  You have not often ridden this horse as he is one of the faster animals, but you will need that speed tonight.   

Perhaps the gods are on your side after all. 

You take hold of the saddle.  You are about to hoist yourself onto the mount when a zing of metal slashes through the silent night.   The tip of a sword touches your shoulder.   

“What do you think you’re doing?” 

You recognize that voice. 

Of all the kingsguards to find you, of course it would be Han Jisung. 

You are so startled  that your adrenaline turns from fire to ice.  You freeze solid. 

“Hey! Little boy!” He lightly jabs you with the sword, just enough to scratch the material of your stolen shirt.  “A kingsguard asked you something.  Answer me!  Now!”

Your hands are still raised when you turn around.  It is a slow, begrudging reveal.  Your eyes are on the hay-spattered stable floor.  You look at his black boots, the silver sheath hanging at his hip.  Up, up, up, your eyes slowly lift. 

You meet his gaze.  His brow is furrowed with frustration but it smooths when he recognizes you.  Shock replaces irritation.  The sword wobbles and he takes a startled step back. 

“You—” he says.  He looks at you, slack-jawed, then rubs his eyes as if he cannot believe what he is seeing. 

Finally, the sword lowers to his side. His long black robes swish with the movement.  His shock gives way to panic.   

“What are you doing?” he demands, his voice breaking on a harsh whisper.  He swiftly sheaths the sword and takes several determined steps closer to you.  “Are you crazy?  Where are you going?  And what are you wearing?”

“I’m leaving,” you snap back.  The burgeoning panic in your chest begins to putter, making you indignant in your desperation.  “And I’m obviously in disguise.”

“Oh.  A disguise,” he says dryly.  His face is theatrical by nature, brows jumping and eyes widening.  “Yeah, no one could recognize you like this.  Except for, oh, I don’t know—”

Audaciously, Jisung snatches the hat off your head.  You yelp, throwing your hands up to grab it, but he pulls it away faster than a blink. 

Your hair tumbles free, curls even messier than before.  You slap your hands over your head, frantically smoothing them down.  Your arms start to shake, all that panic and adrenaline bubbling, needing somewhere to go.  You feel as though you are going to burst, a screaming firework shooting through the roof of this stable. 

“I would have been fine with the hat,” you snap.  “I made it this far.” 

“Only because half this house is drunk,” he replies with equal verve.  “Look at you, your hair, your face, your – your body.”  He stumbles over that one, eyes flicking down your form and up again.  He clears his throat and shakes his head.  “You would have been caught immediately.  You were caught immediately.” 

“I’ll be fine,” you say.  “I know my way.”

“There’s no way a girl like you has ever ridden anywhere past your family’s land,” he says.

You are flushed with heat and aggravation.  You want to argue but he is not wrong.  You know the general direction to town but you have never ridden there alone. 

“I know my way,” you say again. 

“Do you?”  He takes a step closer.  “You go north – I assume you know which trails are occupied by bandits?  And the east –  you know which path to take to avoid the mountain lions?  Or the west – if you go over the border and the men who live in those woods discover you alone—”

“Stop it!”  You throw your hands up over your ears.  All that panicked heat simmers and spills.  It turns to tears. 

You sob.     

He’s right.  You know he’s right.  You let your desperation and your adrenaline carry you this far, but you are not prepared for an arduous journey.  You have a sack of jewels that are a greater liability than asset on dangerous roads.  What would you have done if they were stolen?  What would you have done if someone hurt you?  You have nothing.  No map, no direction, and no hope.

Jisung’s shoulders drop.  His own passion tempers itself, his frustration cooling in the face of your tears.  He was also carried away but you don’t blame him.  He is a kingsguard.  He is duty-bound to protect the king and the king’s property, which you are. 

He found you committing treason.  You are lucky he did not hold a sword to your throat and drag you to the king. 

His sword stays sheathed.  He looks at you, expression morose.   

“I’m sorry,” he says in a soft voice.  “You know I can’t let you go.” 

“I know,” you whisper, gasping through your tears. 

If you were not so miserable, you might have laughed at the look on his face.  You are certain this man has encountered many adversaries, but never a sobbing woman.  He would have been happier dealing with a real thief. 

His hand lifts and falls as he wars with himself, evidently debating whether he should touch you or not.  You stand there, sobbing into your hands while he watches helplessly. 

When he does touch you, it is careful.  His fingertips are light on your shoulder, then the slow curving touch of his palm as he gently squeezes.   It is the first kind touch in days and it sends a shiver down your spine.  You look at him, eyes wet with tears, imploring with no words. 

His mouth opens but he doesn’t speak.  A breath stutters past his lips.  Slowly, he takes back his hand and curls his fingers into his palm.   He swallows. 

You stare at each other in the dim lamplight.  You are not sure how long you would have stood there but you are interrupted before you can find out. 

There is a soft knock at the stable door and Jisung jumps as if it was thunder.  His head whips around, looking between you and the door. 

“Fuck,” he says.  His brows leap and he covers his mouth.  “You didn’t hear that.  Quick.” 

You have no opportunity to ask questions.  He swiftly ushers you into the empty stall, closing the door behind you.  He races to the stable entrance to greet whoever is there. 

You hold your breath, hiding in the shadows as someone enters the stable.  Jisung and the intruder speak in hushed tones that you cannot decipher.  You inch closer to the door, peeking through the slats of wood.    

It is another kingsguard.  He was not at the festivities but you recognize him from the ceremony.  He is the silver-haired one with the face full of freckles, the one who smiled at you so kindly.  You would recognize such a unique face anywhere.  For some reason, he is dressed in civilian garb even though the kingsguard is not allowed to wear anything but their black robes. 

You can hear better as they step further inside.   

“Thank you again,” the silver-haired man says. 

“Don’t thank me yet, Felix,” Jisung replies.  “I still think you’re crazy, man.”   

“Still,” the man, Felix, replies.  “Not everyone would have helped.  You didn’t have any problems?”

Jisung is adjusting the saddle on the horse.  His eyes lift and meet yours through the slats.  You duck further into shadow. 

Jisung sighs and shakes his head.  He tightens the reigns then hands them to Felix.

“Nothing I can’t handle,” Jisung says.

Another figure steps into view, one who has been silent this whole time.  You watch as the person draws back their hood, revealing a woman around your age.  By the style of her gown, you can tell she is a courtier from the capital.  She smiles at Jisung. 

“Thank you, Han Jisung,” she says.  “The gods will reward your courageous heart.”

“Ah-ha-ha.”  He giggles nervously, scratching the back of his neck.  “I already have everything I need.  Some of us—”  He casts a withering look at Felix, though his tone is light and teasing, “—can keep our chastity vows.  I don’t need anything more than service.” 

Felix chuckles.  He holds out his hand to the woman and she hurries into his arms. 

“If that’s your path, I hope it will make you happy,” Felix says. 

You watch as they help the woman onto the horse.  Felix swings up behind her.  They both pull hoods over their heads. 

Jisung reaches up, offering Felix his hand.  Felix clasps it.

“Brother,” Felix says. 

“Crazy man,” Jisung replies. 

Felix smiles.  They drop hands and Felix takes the reigns.  With an expert click, he marches the horse into a swift canter and rides out the open stable door.  Jisung strides forward to watch them leave, craning his neck to see further. 

Now you know why there were no guards and a horse was prepared.  Felix and Jisung must have been posted as guards and took the opportunity to sneak Felix away.  Felix, who has evidently committed treason, breaking his vow as a kingsguard to ride off with a woman. 

You doubt this was a whim.  You wonder how long the trio has been planning this.  If there was ever a time for a guard to steal a horse and sneak away, it would be in the busy chaos of a wedding week.  Like Jisung said, most of the household is drunk.  Others are tired and resting.  A long journey back to the capital begins tomorrow and it cannot be diverted. 

It is a journey you will have to make. 

You nudge the door open.  Jisung’s shoulders jump as if he forgot you were there.  He regards you warily as you step forward. 

“So,” you say.  “It’s okay for some people to commit treason.”

“It’s not the same thing,” Jisung answers quickly.  “Felix can handle himself out there.” 

You have both witnessed the other commit a treasonous act.  You could rat him out to the king, just as he could drag you back and do the same.   Instead, you stare at each other, your gazes measuring.  You meet in the middle. 

“Do you think we understand each other?” he asks. 

He holds out his hand in offering.  You remember his quick but substantial touch at the ceremony, the moment he wiped the tear from your cheek.  For all that darkness circles the periphery of him, there is something warm at the centre of his character.  It compels you to trust him. 

You take his hand. 

“I do,” you say. 

[writingforatwistedworld]

Self-aware au

Written before the English release!

I do not take any responsibility for you reading this no matter which age group you are from!

WARNINGS: Yandere themes, Jp-version spoiler(!!!), death, description of war, unhealthy mindset, religion, obsessive themes, unhealthy family dynamics

General! Lilia Vanrouge/(Platonic) Maleanor Draconia/(Platonic) Knight of Dawn-Yandere headcanons

Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce? Lilia Vanrouge 1.0. The more cold, hard and ready to behead the next human version of the usual Lilia (also known as the Lilia Vanrouge 2.0 model)

Lilia back then was “rough” and I am being nice calling him that

Back then, Lilia was surrounded by loss and a lot of Faes getting everything they ever owned ripped away from them

Of course this impacts him (I mean he is strolling through battlefield after battlefield so of course it does)

Lilia wasn't always such a devoted follower

Yes, he did believe in the Overseer, aka you, but only after witnessing the brutality that came with him being a general did he turn into a follower with such drastic views

After all, if there was no higher meaning to all this violence, to all this loss and despair, what was even the point of it all?

You became his moral, mental and also a bit of a physical crutch for him

Whenever he felt like he was this close to just giving up, he thought about you and that this was part of your greater plan (totally not part of some valley church propaganda)

After witnessing that human hiding behind the Knight of Dawn in all his haughtiness and cruelty, he finally set out on his quest not only to make the humans leave his beloved home but also to make them into loyal believers of the Overseer

But sadly, everything was for nought and Lilia had to go into hiding

The only thing keeping him going was his believe in you having a greater plan

A few hundred years later and Lilia finally found out what that supposed plan of yours was

Laying in that cold, lonely crib was the child of his old, now deceased enemy

Taking the child, now called Silver, in he learned the joy of a family, the boy giving him more joy than anything ever before in his life

Finally, he had found peace. Of course he did. This was your plan all along, right? You must have ordered those three fairies to make his beloved son survive until now, right?

You were, after all, a kind deity. There was no way this was all just a war happening because of greed. Because if this truly was just events happening after events then...

Lilia never finished that thought

The great ruler of the night fae, mighty and powerful sorceress who could fell an entire nation in one swoop if she wanted to was despite her cruel and aloof outside appearance a pretty devoted follower since the beginning

Despite being a Fae, she was feared just like her unborn son due to her powers (and being more or less being on the same level as a nuclear bomb but hey, I doubt that anyone of us would stand next to one of those, right?)

So it is no surprise that she turned to something, someone, to feel less alone

Especially after her husband disappeared did she wish for some sort of sign that she was not alone

And oh boy, did religious propaganda from the high church take that loneliness away

When her beloved son, although in an egg, was born, she visited your altar daily, thanking you for her child being healthy

(This could also be the reason why Malleus is the way he is but I am just a writer and not some all-knowing God so idk, just a theory)

She definitely has "taken care" *cough*totallynotproblematicforarulertobeinfluencedbyreligion*cough* of Fae that were non-believers

How dare their sinful ways dirty your holy image?

See? Totally not problematic

At first she only tried to protect her subjects after the humans attacked and took over parts of her kingdom

But after a while she started to have another goal

What if she shared your splendor with those little useless invaders?

Humans were most definitely vile but you were able to unite so many different kinds of Fae in your name under the Draconia name

So why not also unite those humans in your name in a peace treaty?

Such a kind God you were! Allowing for peace in your name!

And, well, if violence and destruction was needed to make those beings understand and surrender, then that shall be what they get

Besides, she was only honoring her husbands wish to get closer to the humans so who was she to selfishly aim for another goal?

The Knight of Dawn (long name, I know) did not always believe in you

Heck, the poor guy probably never heard of you until he fought the Fae

But if the humans from back then didn't really know about you, then how did he find out about and why did he start to see you as his God?

On this part, I would say, he and Lilia were eerily similair

Both were pushed into a war neither liked, so of course he was also in a very unstable situation which made him, like Lilia, search for something to hold on to

The three Fairies had mentioned before when he was still training to become as strong as he was now, mentioning a kind deity who accepted all, who loved unconditionally

Back then he only thought of you as one of the many deities that were prayed to back then

But once the war started and he saw your churches and cathedrals for the first time, his opinion slowly started to shift until he saw you as the highest being possible

I mean, all of us would if we lost all stability over night, having only destroyed buildings and a half-standing church in front of us

He hated the plundering of your sacred placed even before he became a believer, having the opinion that it was just a cultural difference between the two kinds

This led to him kneeling at the cracked altars of many of your churches, asking for forgiveness, hoping that you would understand that he didn't have another choice

What he would do to witness one of your sermons…

And when he was lonely enough, he imagined you watching down on him from up above

Just like a... a parent

You see where I am going with this?

So when he was facing the Queen he only hoped for your forgiveness, hoping that his loving family member would forgive his gravest sin, him killing a mother

And he found salvation, in letting that child and the retainer escape

Perhaps you could forgive him now

[dalliancekay]

Aziraphale and Religion and his Bibles

It has come to my attention that some people call Aziraphale Christian and/or religious, and I have seen posts alluding to him collecting bibles out of some sort of ... piety.

He is however, none of these things. He doesn't need to believe in God and especially not in a book or what's written in it.

Now, I get that not everyone read the Good Omens book, so here are two of my favourite passages (emphasis mine):

Aziraphale collected books. If he were totally honest with himself he would have to have admitted that his bookshop was simply somewhere to store them. He was not unusual in this. In order to maintain his cover as a typical second-hand book seller, he used every means short of actual physical violence to prevent customers from making a purchase. Unpleasant damp smells, glowering looks, erratic opening hours - he was incredibly good at it. He had been collecting for a long time, and, like all collectors, he specialized. He had more than sixty books of predictions concerning developments in the last handful of centuries of the second millennium. He had a penchant for Wilde first editions. And he had a complete set of the Infamous Bibles, individually named from error's in typesetting. These Bibles included the Unrzghteous Bible, so called from a printer's error which caused it to proclaim, in I Corinthians, "Know ye not that the unrighteous shall inherit the Kingdom of God?"; and the Wicked Bible, printed by Barker and Lucas in 1632, in which the word not was omitted from the seventh commandment:, making it "Thou shaft commit Adultery." There were the Discharge bible, the Treacle Bible, the Standing Fishes Bible, the Charing Cross Bible and the rest. Aziraphale had them all. Even the very rarest, a Bible published in 1651 by the London publishing firm of Bilton and Scaggs. It had been the first of their three great publishing disasters. The book was commonly known as the Buggre Alle This Bible.

This to me - sounds like Aziraphale collected these bibles because it was a funny and interesting and a specialised thing to do.

Not because he thought it was some holy sort of book he had to guard.

"When the Rapture comes, brothers and sisters, all the True Believers will be swept up in the air-it don't mind what you're doin', you could be in the bath, you could be at work, you could be drivin' your car, or just sittin' at home readin' your Bible. Suddenly you'll be up there in the air, in perfect and incorruptible bodies. And you'll be up in the air, lookin' down at the world as the years of destruction arrive. Only the faithful will be saved, only those of you who have been born again will avoid the pain and the death and the horror and the burnin'. Then will come the great war between Heaven and Hell, and Heaven will destroy the forces of Hell, and God shall wipe away the tears of the sufferin', and there shall be no more death, or sorrow, or cryin', or pain, and he shall rayon in glory for ever and ever-" He stopped, suddenly. "Well, nice try," he said, in a completely different voice, "only it won't be like that at all. Not really. I mean, you're right about the fire and war, all that. But that Rapture stuff well, if you could see them all in Heaven-serried ranks of them as far as the mind can follow and beyond, league after league of us, flaming swords, all that, well, what I'm trying to say is who has time to go round picking people out and popping them up in the air to sneer at the people dying of radiation sickness on the parched and burning earth below them? If that's your idea of a morally acceptable time, I might add. And as for that stuff about Heaven inevitably winning . . . Well, to be honest, if it were that cut and dried, there wouldn't be a Celestial War in the first place, would there? It's propaganda. Pure and simple. We've got no more than a fifty percent chance of coming out on top. You might just as well send money to a Satanist hotline to cover your bets, although to be frank when the fire falls and the seas of blood rise you lot are all going to be civilian casualties either way. Between our war and your war, they're going to kill everyone and let God sort it out-right? Anyway, sorry to stand here wittering, I've just a quick question where am I?" Marvin O. Bagman was gradually going purple. "It's the devil! Lord protect me! The devil is speakin' through me!" he erupted, and interrupted himself, "Oh no, quite the opposite in fact. I'm an angel. Ah. This has to be America, doesn't it? So sorry, can't stay . . . " There was a pause. Marvin tried to open his mouth, but nothing happened. Whatever was in his head looked around. He looked at the studio crew, those who weren't phoning the police, or sobbing in corners. He looked at the grey-faced cameramen. "Gosh, " he said, "am I on television?"

Please note - Aziraphale is a bit of bastard. He's definitely not catholic or Christian or any kind of religious. He's an angel, and he's not an angel because of his belief or something. That's what he was made as. By GOD. This God made the Universe and told them all She has a Plan for it, ineffable as it maybe be; they were told Earth was to be around for 6000 years. Give or take.

Aziraphale doesn't believe in God. He knows She exists. And clearly (as per above) he doesn't think the way Christianity understood things are exactly - uh, correct.