#Transmisogny

[getjinxzed]

if you're scared of "men pretending to be trans women to get in the female bathrooms" or whatever the fuck you are NOT scared of trans women YOU ARE SCARED OF CIS MEN. stop taking your fear out on innocent transgender women when trans women are not the issue, cisgender men are.

[bonbonburgerpants]

Bonus points if the slurs and rude comments about you get switched up from going after the assigned gender to the one you identify with (e.g. from "You're acting like a man!" to "You're way too feminine to be a man")

[esthermika]

even IF dude was gender neutral, you could make that trans girl so much happier by calling her 'girl', or 'lady', or anything else really.

[hesperocyon-lesbian]

I’m so fucking tired of this stupid fucking resurgence of people arguing that misandry is real or a coherent form of oppression at all so I wanna address this more directly. Most of the arguments I’ve seen rely on the fact that men are harmed and constrained by the patriarchy, and you know what, that’s true!

But cis people are harmed and constrained by the existence of the gender binary. That doesn’t mean that cisphobia is real. Straight people are harmed and constrained by heteronormativity, but that doesn’t make heterophobia real.

I really thought this stuff was obvious but I guess it isn’t. I need all of you who are complaining about “misandry” to understand that you sound like the down with cis bus post

[poison-doll]

okay yes we are all affected by transmisogyny under patriarchy but do u think that maybe there is a particular gender demographic that is distinctly affected in ways that other demographics are not. do u think that it would be useful to have language to discuss that difference

[kalamity-jayne]

My dude, please read that last sentence back to me.

You are so close to getting it.

[spiky-observer-asylum]

Who the hell say you can't talk about transmisogny??? Also shut the fuck up youre the ones that say we can't talk about transandrophobia. Waaahhhh dont silence me *proceeds to turn around and silence others*.

[verygoodestboy]

the way white queers ascribe sainthood to Black trans women and completely ignore Black trans men and Black nonbinary people has convinced me more than anything else that they really truly don’t care about any Black trans people beyond wearing us as a little badge they can show off to prove they’re The Good Ones

[saltyfoxes-artist]

Someone's existence is not a commentary on your own

This applies to all queer identities

This applies to all contradictory labels

This applies to all plurals

Someone existing in a different way than you isn't saying anything about how you live you're life. I have chronic pain, that doesn't mean you can't run marathons for fun. And that applies to everything. The reason for certain identities being "bad" is because they're based on bigotry, usually misinformation and often fetishising a group of people.

For example, rcta (race change to another) is not a good faith identity because it relies on a misunderstanding of race, ethnicity, nationality, racism and culture.

An endogenic system is a good faith identity because it is not built on misinformation or harmful to traumagenic systems.

"Transitioning to intersex" is a harmful thing to say and believe one can do because it relies on misinformation about intersexuality and fetishising intersex people.

A transfem who was afab does not have a harmful identity because it is not built on transmisognyistic ideas, and doesn't harm other transfem people.

Another person's existence is not a commentary on your own. If you think it is, you need to reevaluate.

[mlmshark]

Idk why people are constantly trying to put transmascs and transfems at odds because sometimes I just scroll through both of our tags and genuinely tear up at how beautiful it is to be part of this community and the hope we have. Seriously fuck people who keep trying to take that away from us

[sirbun]

one day misogyny will die out and, in turn, radfeminism and terfism will die out too and men and women will be best friends forever and never have to fight again

[ventbloglite]

I think we need to sit down and talk about malgendering.

Not misgendering, malgendering.

We all know what misgendering means. Misgendering is when a trans person (or to be honest, even a cis person) has their gender denied to them in some fashion by implying, suggesting or outright stating that their gender is actually Something Else and not the one they identify as.

e.g. A trans woman being told she cannot attend a certain class because it's 'just for women'.

Malgendering is when the trans persons gender is not questioned or denied and may even be affirmed - but only in a context in which it can be used against them in some fashion (to make judgements on them as a person, to exclude them from something, to incite bigotry towards them etc).

e.g. That same trans woman taking her shirt off on a hot day and being arrested for indecent exposure.

This is misgendering;- "You're not a woman, you're a man." This is malgendering;- "Trans women are women, so obviously they exist to serve men."* *obvs it is also transmisogyny and all malgendering is transphobia.

But what you don't want to hear is that malgendering is a form of transphobia mainly used against trans masculine people and nonbinary people.

Most people recognise malgendering when it's;

Using the term 'theyfab' to ridicule an agender person or making jokes about how an agender they/them user looks (to you) to be a completely cis woman.

But you need to look out for how;

Malgendering is treating trans men like their transition has turned them into women-hating predators because of your own predjudices towards men/trans man were always inherently women-hating predators because maleness is what makes you those things not your actual thoughts, words and actions.

Malgendering is not listening to how trans masc people are marginalised 'because men aren't oppressed though' as if that's not ignoring a huge part of their identity (the being trans part) and how that works.

Malgendering is telling trans men 'this is just what it's like to be a man, people treat you like shit and you have to take it or not transition'.

Malgendering is insisting that any trans man who calls any attention to the fact that he is indeed, trans, and has/had female anatomy and faces misogyny due to being raised and still perceived (by transphobes) as a woman is misgendering himself, all other trans men and 'weaponising his AFABness'

All of this is transphobia. All of this is bigotry. This kind of predjudice and bullying doesn't magically become 'OK' once you find the 'right' group to do it to. You either want to end bigotry and transphobia and identity-specific targetted hate or you want to perpetuate it. But you can't call yourself a trans ally, or escape the bigotry allegations whilst malgendering people. And no you're not being sneaky by slipping in your hateful predjudice comments and actions whilst validating their gender.

Malgendering is transphobia.

[mecha-slut]

it's like, weird to me to see a post going around trans-feminist tumblr that is like, lamenting how hard it is to be a fat trans women specifically? 'cause like, that has not been my experience at all. Like, I'm a large woman (5'9 and 350ish pounds) and I get more comments in public about my weight than my transness (mostly kids calling me a "big fat lady" which, you know fair you got me). passing is not something that you can choose to do. and it is very difficult when that feels impossible. but I need all the other fat trans women to know, that being fat does not make passing impossible, being fat does not mean it's the end of the world. you are a woman, you are feminine, and this is a thing worth doing, no matter your weight but especially if you're fat. if you aren't a fat trans woman, then you need to be there for those who are in your life. Love fat women, trans women, and *especially* fat trans women while we are here. That is truly the most important thing anyone can do for us.

[soggycereal]

its so frustrating that people can say the most stereotypical misogynistic shit about trans women but people dont call it out as such

90% of negative comments about individual trans women i see is like "she talks so much" "she's so moody" "she's too sexual" "she's not sexual enough"

and its so frustrating that in situations i know that if the woman was cis someone would stand up for her there is silence

[girls-knight]

if you are TME and dont have the desire to learn anything about trans women thats like, totally okaysies and we are always down to repeatedly educate you over and over as you speak over us but if you're TMA and dont care about the American 80s/90s queer community and its terminology you're obviously an evil fucking baeddal bitch who doesnt known his their her history

[crescentalice]

If you're afab and find yourself thinking stuff like "I wish I had a body like a trans woman," I'm gonna need you to stop and ask yourself what you mean by that. Like reeeeally deeply, introspectively ask yourself. Because your answer probably reveals a lot about your hidden biases towards trans women. Do you want a penis? Great, but not all trans women have those, and it's really weird to try and define a whole group of people by their genitals. Do you want to look more masculine? Because, and I really hope I don't need to say this, viewing/defining trans women as "more masculine women" is super transphobic and fucked up and you need to stop viewing us like that immediately. There are no meaningful universal differences between cis and trans bodies you can define that do not in some way reduce us to our anatomy and/or stereotypes about us. So, instead of comparing yourself to whatever imaginary idea of trans women you have in your head, just be yourself. Explore your body and gender on your own terms, but please, leave us out of it.