#WE WERE BOTH AST SO I KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT

[automatayaoi]

Absolutely shaking please for the love of god don’t do end game content if you don’t understand your class

[justporo]

A Night of Song and Laughter (Part 11)

In this Astarion gets scolded by a dwarf (naturally he hates it) and Tav and Astarion have to run from the police, because ACAB, amirite? (All Cityguards Are Beautiful) Also they really can't seem to catch a break...

There can only be one song for this: Bad Reputation - Joan Jett

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Astarion/Fem!Tav (You)

(Gif from here!)

“Are we being kicked out?”, you asked the dwarf flabbergasted. “How rude and after we played circus monkeys for you”, Astarion immediately added and clicked his tongue.

“Nay, lass, it is nah that”, the dwarf answered and doubling over again trying to get some air in his lungs. Astarion looked quizzically at him and raised a pale eyebrow. “It’s the cityguard, they’ve been asking ‘bout ye. They’re already swarming in downstairs. Don sent me to find ye, he’s tryna hold their captain off by the entrance.” You turned to Astarion with shock in your eyes – would this night never end with all its damn surprises? The vampire looked just as shocked as you.

“Now, stop starin’ at each other, get outta here, come on”, the dwarf hurried you and waved for you to follow. “Maybe we can sneak ye out while Don is talking to ‘em. Gods, I always knew it’d be a bad idea to have no back entrance.” You swallowed but quickly went to follow him. So did Astarion.

You let the dwarf go a few steps ahead so you could lean back to the vampire while walking along the corridor. “Do you think this is about you showing Miyena and Eodin… you know?”, you whispered to him. “I don’t know but I don’t intend to find out”, he answered dryly.

“Did they say why exactly they were looking for us?”, you raised your voice to ask Kirin while rushing behind him. The dwarf threw you a look over his shoulder that asked if you were an imbecile and he actually even stopped walking. “Yeah, lass, of course. I brewed ‘em a nice cuppa and then we braided each other’s beards while talking ‘bout it. NAY! Of course, they did not!” Kirin was outraged and helplessly threw his hands in the air: “I don’t know and I don’t know what ye might’ve done to deserve it and I don’t want to know. All I do know, is, that there’s gonna be trouble. If they find ye, there’s gonna be trouble and if they don’t find ye there will probably be even more. We aren’t exactly popular with the city officials so they gonna take up any excuse they can get to annoy us.” Your brows furrowed at that and Astarion asked: “Thankful as I am for it, but why exactly are you trying to sneak us out then if you could just hand us over?”

The dwarf had already reached for the handle of the door that would lead back to the gallery. He sighed defeatedly and turned around once more, putting his hands on his hips: “Come here, elf, if ye please.” Astarion surely didn’t look inclined to do anything of the sort. “I said come ‘ere, boy!”, Kirin said through gritted teeth and curled a finger at Astarion. That made the vampire cautiously step closer, on his face a mix of distrust and disgust. Kirin angrily waved him to bow down to which Astarion reacted only begrudgingly. When they were almost nose to nose, the dwarf spoke, spittle flying from his mouth and hitting Astarion who’s eye twitched murderously: “Let’s get one thing very clear, little elven lordling, or whatever ye might be. I am nah doing this for ye!“ He stuck one stubby finger towards Astarion’s face. “I’m only doing this for ye lassie here. Because. I. Don’t. Like. Ye. Pretty Boy!” H  He  

Astarion’s whole being screamed murder. You remembered a certain threat he had offered regarding the dwarf’s nicknames for him and quickly dragged him back towards you by a handful of his shirt. “Let’s just go, please”, you begged the both of them. The men stared at each other a moment longer then Kirin broke it off and waved you to go. The elf wiped his face off by rubbing his upper arm against his face, still wearing a disgusted facial expression. Then he looked at you as if asking for pity. “Knock it off, Astarion”, you simply told him and went after Kirin.

There still were plenty of people on the gallery and in the tavern as a whole. But you could quickly make out several men and women in silver armour prancing about the place. Most prominently at the entrance was the supposed captain of the group of guards in argument with Don. It wasn’t hard to make out that they were arguing quite intensely – you could hear their voices but not what they said. As the three of you were walking downstairs while trying to look inconspicuous you saw the captain wave an order to two of his men who immediately propped up their halberds towards Don’s face. The bouncer lifted his arms in defence.

You had arrived at the bottom of the stairs and Kirin motioned you to follow him, walking mostly along the walls of the big room. You tried to bypass the guests and tables and especially the guards that had spread out downstairs. While slowly but steadily passing through the crowd you noticed how Astarion swiftly picked up a cloak from behind someone’s seat and in one smooth movement threw it around his shoulders. He lifted the hood over his telltale white curls and then softly nudged you to walk between him and the wall so he could try and also hide you with the cloak.

As you came closer to the entrance you could finally make out the discussion going on between Don and the captain of the city guard. “Drop the act! Tell me where they are or watch me and my guards tear through every crevice of this shithole”, the captain just screamed at the bouncer. You were almost at the entrance through which people walked in and out of the establishment. Trying to not raise any suspicion you lowered your gaze and moved closer to Astarion – just a pair of lovers passing by.

“What damned act, I’ve been trying to tell...”, Don was just about to say as the guard crossed his arms over his armoured chest, obviously done with his opponents excuses. His eyes wandered while zoning out from the bouncer’s words… and that’s when he spotted you when you tried to sneak a cautious look. The captain’s head perked up as he saw you and he immediately raised a hand: “Hold, you there! With the red hair! I can see you you know.” You cursed under your breath and gritted your teeth. “Shit”, you heard Astarion say beside you. He stopped and immediately also dropped the hood trying to seem as honest and innocent as possible. Kirin disappeared into the crowd once more having failed his escort quest.

You opted to act surprised, looking at the guard in confused fashion and pointing a finger at yourself in a “Who? Me?” sort of way. “Yeah yeah, you, don’t look so surprised, you little dipshit. Are you Tav?” Astarion immediately hissed at him for calling you names and taking a step in front of you. But you grabbed him by his elbow and took a step forth yourself. “I don’t know, depends on who’s asking. For example, for someone calling me ‘little dipshit’ the name’s ‘kiss my goddamn arse’”, you said and smiled sickly-sweet at him. You knew that it was a terrible idea for you to piss of the city guard but you’ve just about had it for the night.

Astarion snickered softly beside you, earning him a more than displeased and with the wave of two fingers two halberds pointing at his face. The vampire rolled his eyes and mumbled something about the state of humour in this city.

The captain sauntered closer to you, you nervously already thought about how you could possibly get out of this situation. When the guard stood directly in front of you so that the silver of his breastplate shone in your face, he spoke down to you. You could see that he was human – and quite a lot taller than you, at least one head and broad-shouldered too. You also saw that only his chest was covered by plating.

“For the formalities’ sake: I am Captain Gerrit of the Third Division of the Lower City Guard. Now you know, now tell me who you are!”, he ordered. You raised your chin at him defiantly and crossing your arms not letting yourself be impressed by his display of rank. “What’s it to you, Captain Gerrit of the so and so?”, you pressed him further. Gerrit’s eyes narrowed at you, you could see that his patience with you was fading. You heard Astarion chuckle again behind you, then wince: “Ouw, keep those away from me, as far as I know, laughing still hasn’t been outlawed, yet.” “Watch it, elf”, Gerrit spat toward him then he focused on you again, angling his head. “Oh nothing really, only that I’d be taking you into custody if you happened to be that Tav”, he answered. “Because if you were that Tav, I know you’d belong to a band of thieves I’ve been looking to capture for the better part of a year.” “And who told you that?”, Astarion chimed in and stepped closer to you despite the weapons pointed at him. He curved around them and stood directly behind you and stared up at the captain who was also at least half a head taller than the rogue. “A tiefling woman with a, dare I say, severe case of resting bitch face and a whimpering man that looked like a beaten puppy? Because may I tell you they have been pestering us the whole evening and of course they’d tell y…”, Astarion went on but was interrupted by Gerrit now being very annoyed at the both of you and lifting a hand in harsh motion that even prompted the vampire to shut up. You felt your time to act was running out…

“You are indeed correct”, the captain offered from behind gritted teeth “and I also happen to know that they were also part of your little band of thieves and they are already in custody. And so are you two go…”

Time was up. With all the force you could muster you lifted your knee to kick the bastard in the balls. Gerrit simply hmpfed and was sent to his knees.

Astarion didn’t lose a moment, whirled the stolen cloak around the two other guards who were still pointing their weapons at him but could only react with shock. He had them wrapped up as if they were wearing an oversized scarf and then tugged on the ends to make their heads in their shiny helmets clank against each other. They went down as well and you both turned to fucking run.

You stumbled through the crowd, pushing people out your way, without a word agreeing to try and make it to the balcony again. You raced directly to the stairs while Astarion had to take detour to dodge the swipe of another halberd and then was blocked by another guard. But instead of trying to fight him, Astarion leapt for the table next to the guard, placed his hands flat on it and swung his legs over it in a swift athletic motion. At the staircase to the gallery another guard was just about to block your way, screaming “Stop!” at you. But he was kicked in the knee pits and also received a mug of beer over his head once it was in reach for his assailant – Kirin. “Don’t touch the lass!“, the dwarf screamed viciously as the guard fell on his face.

“Thanks”, you shouted to him passing by and racing up the steps. Even Astarion mustered a wink for the dwarf and then ran after you. You made it to the balcony without further interruption. By the noise you had heard behind you, you had precious moments until your assailants would even reach the gallery.

“The dwarf grows on me”, Astarion said breathlessly. You simply waved in agreement, trying to catch your breath. “And also”, Astarion continued, gasping for air “Tav Hammerknee strikes again, it seems.”

You didn’t even have it in you anymore to react to his audacity, so you just went to the railing to look down. “It’s a bit of a drop, but after everything… I think we can make it. Although I almost broke my neck one time trying to get down there…” Astarion walked up next to you and looked down as well: “From this height? Darling, I guess you can be happy your career as a thief is over you must’ve been terrible at it.” And with these loving parting words he climbed over the railing and let himself hang from the bottom edge of the balcony before letting go and landing elegantly in a deep crouch before standing up again.

He dusted some invisible lint off his shirt then looked up at you: “Easy.” Asshole. “I’ll have you know that the last time I was blackout drunk”, you spat back. “So barely worse than tonight.” You snorted at that and started to climb over the railing, copying his moves.

“I’ll catch you, love, don’t worry. I won’t let this be the end after everyth…” You had already let yourself drop into his open arms. The sudden impact drew all the air from his lungs, but he did safely catch you.

“Gotcha”, he whispered and slowly put you down. Then he tried to sort out the mess your hair had become. “Well, running from the city guard certainly was a first time for me.” “Aww, I love when I can be there for your first times, Astarion“, you cooed at him and pressed a kiss to his lips. He looked positively done with you.

“Let’s just go home?”, he asked you with a smile. “Let’s!”

[nivasichakano]

The final (for now) chapter of What Friends Are For

Astarion is decorating — or attempting to decorate — the downstairs rooms of the tower in the remaining hours before the guests arrive. He’d wanted them to feel like they were wandering a series of Feywild woodland grottos, but the foliage he’d purchased from the market looks a bit small and drab now. 

He’s standing, frowning, one hand on a jutted hip, when Gale walks in. “Oh, it looks beautiful, Ast...”

“No, it doesn’t.” Astarion snaps. “You don’t have to be so damned chirpy all the time, you know.” He doesn’t know why he’s being so petulant but that’s never stopped him before.

Gale’s strong arms are around his waist in an instant, holding him from behind. “Uh oh…”

“Gale-” Astarion’s voice is acute with warning.

“He’s back…”

“Stop it-”

“He rises!”

“I’m not joking!”

“The very vexatious vitriolic vampire!” The wizard grasps Astarion’s sides, picking him up, tickling him, making him let out an ungodly shriek. 

“Unhand me immediately! You’re disgusting! I want a divorce!”

Gale chuckles, wrapping him in a hug again, kissing the side of his neck. “Hmm, difficult to achieve when we’re not married.” His beard tickles too. “Talk to me, what’s on your mind?”

Astarion sighs. “I don’t know… I’ve never thrown a party before. I want it to look the way you described in your stories… I want it to look… perfect.”

He wants it to look like Evereska. But it had been hard enough to talk about that the first time round. Luckily, Gale seems to have learned to read Astarion like he’s just another of the wizard’s myriad books. 

“How about this…” Gale whispers into his ear, sending a hint of desire rippling through his stomach. Over Astarion’s shoulder, the wizard waves a hand, gently turning them both in a circle on the spot. 

As his gesture sweeps over the room, the space is transformed. The walls become silvery tree trunks bathed in moonlight, the ceiling a whispering canopy. Mist wreathes at their feet and curls through the woodland around them, punctuated only by a few floating paper lanterns. Astarion’s mouth falls open as water wells up from the floor next to him, turning into a gently babbling brook that rivers out of the doorway and into the next room, jewel-colored dragonflies skimming its surface.

“Better?” Astarion can hear the grin in Gale’s voice. For once though, the wizard’s hubris is justified.

“Perfect…” the elf breathes, spinning in Gale’s arms, wrapping his arms around his neck and rewarding him with a soft kiss. “Thank you.”

“It’s no more than you deserve.”

Astarion swats away the compliment with a lump in his throat. “We need to get into costume. Want to help me out of my clothes?”

He feels Gale stir against his thigh as the wizard hums appreciatively. “Lead the way, love…”

Read the rest on AO3

[goldenhypen]

⋅— part 1 || PART 2 || part 3 —⋅

「 just for reference, the notes in small font, are just little additional thoughts from me. the text in pink and italics marks the start of a new question. 」

— ⋅⬖⋅ —

preferred pairing(s)?

in short, the “other” answers were as follows...

non!idol x reader — 2 votes

idol x oc — 1 vote

idol x idol!reader — 1 vote

— ⋅⬖⋅ —

preferred fic length(s) in terms of words?

heh and then there’s me who’s only been able to come out with blurbs recently due to lack of inspiration ahaha 💀

— ⋅⬖⋅ —

do you prefer when a long fic is split into multiple chapters (a series)?

the “other” answers were as follows...

i belive each writer should write as much as they want, you guys have an amazing creativity so i don't have any preference.

either, i’m honestly fine with all. as long as the chapters are cut off and separated well then it doesn't matter.

writing wise, chaptered fics!! reading... if it's within 4k i’d read long fics but even longer... i’d prefer series!

unless it’s like over 30k i prefer it to be in one, i forget what happens or that i was reading it if it’s released separately.

— ⋅⬖⋅ —

and do you prefer reading a series over fics in general?

— ⋅⬖⋅ —

do you prefer reading smaus over written fics?

the “other” answers were as follows…

both — 3 votes

i think smaus + some written fics are just right ☺❤❗

usually it's smaus but some parts can be written. i feel wholly written fics are kind of draining dkkdomsad idk

please don’t at all let this stop you from writing smaus! so many people love reading smaus, and they’re super popular. if you have fun creating them, by all means do!

— ⋅⬖⋅ —

do you feel lazy to finish reading smaus if there are a lot of written parts?

the “other” answers were as follows…

i don’t like/read smaus — 2 votes

well, long smaus can really be exhausting to read especially if the plot is not progressing. so i'd say this depends for me. also i tend to skip a couple chapters in between if i know the direction the plot is progressing in. so in short, i won't say i feel lazy but i don’t feel excited either unless we're talking about something that has my attention from the very first chapter.

honestly, not really? i only lose interest if we have very serious back to back writing parts. but if there's some fun content in between, it's great!

it’s not laziness, it’s more i struggle to pay attention when it’s written.

sometimes i do feel lazy but i’ll always continue to read it when i’m in the mood.

i hardly read smaus even if there are written parts.

depends on if there's no note or warning that there's a written part cuz I would accidentally skip over them cuz I didn't know there was a written part.

— ⋅⬖⋅ —

what time(s) of the day do you most often read?

i thought this was helpful to include in the survey, because i always struggle to figure out when i should have my works posted in order to get the most exposure possible. but when considering this, remember to pay attention to time zones, too, which you can find after the next question.

— ⋅⬖⋅ —

what day(s) of the week do you most often read?

to go along with the previous question, i think this is helpful to know when to post to get the most exposure on your work.

— ⋅⬖⋅ —

what time zone are you located in?

i’m not going to bother including a picture because there were just so many time zones i didn’t include. so here’s a summary (results are listed from most to least popular)…

gmt/utc — 32 votes

est (gmt-5)/edt (gmt-4) — 29 votes

pht/myt/hkt/wita/sgt (gmt+8) — 22 votes

cet (gmt+1)/cest (gmt+2) — 18 votes

pst (gmt-8)/pdt (gmt-7) — 17 votes

cst (gmt-6)/cdt (gmt-5) — 16 votes

ist (gmt+5:30) — 12 votes

kst (gmt+9) — 5 votes

aest (gmt+10)/aedt (gmt+11) — 5 votes

mst (gmt-7)/mdt (gmt-6) — 3 votes

wib/ict (gmt+7) — 3 votes

ast (gmt+3) — 2 vote

brt (gmt-3) — 1 vote

wat (gmt+1) — 1 vote

sast (gmt+2) — 1 vote

gmt+3/+4 — 1 vote

get (gmt+4) — 1 vote

pakistan time (gmt+5) — 1 vote

idn (gmt+9) — 1 vote

nzst/nzdt (gmt+13) — 1 vote

⋅— PART 1 || PART 3 —⋅

a/n. it would be great if you could help spread the word to other engene writers by reblogging so that they could gain access to this information, too! thank you ^_^

[stohn-chronicles]

𝗛𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗰𝘂𝘁𝘀

Warnings: None

Pairing/s: Nine x reader (gender neutral)

Type: oneshot, fluff

Prompt: You're cutting my hair and I'm trying not to focus on your hands in my hair and your breath on my neck. I fail miserably and we kiss.

At first Nine was fully against the idea of having his hair cut. He said it was the only thing that kept him tied to his past. But after some nagging from you, he gave in. Let you do what you wished with the overgrown soft brown hair.

A single hand ran through the roots of Nine's hair, tugging at them playfully. You gently ran the comb over the freshly washed shoulder length hair. It was so much softer now. Before it felt as if you were trying to untangle hundreds of mini-ropes.

Nine sighed and leaned back into your touch, unconciously. He had never been touched so affectionately. Even Sandor had only given him the occasional past on the back.

The bed dipped as you settled on your knees, your front facing the Loric's back. "You have nice hair," you compliment.

"Thank you. I grew it myself." said Nine, making you roll your eyes. "If only you ever took care of it, instead of keeping it messy. I swear to the Elders, Moana has less tangled hair than you."

"If you are going to use the phrase 'tangled hair' ast least consider Rapunzel as an example." You chuckled at his knowledge of Disney princesses. It took you, Nine and Marina about three days to finish the exhausting number of Disney movies with Ella. Eight, on the other hand, had been more than ecstatic since he did not have a television in the Himalayas.

It seemed like you and Nine were thinking the same thing since you let out small chuckles at the memory.

You dropped the comb and brought your hand to straighten the first lock of hair, pulling on it till the length you had decided to cut it. You swiftly picked up the scissors.

Nine spared a glance, "Don't cut it too short."

There was no mirror in front of him to supervise what you were doing. He had completely offered his trust to you. And you had taken that trust and thrown it into the garbage can.

"I won't, chill~" you sang. Nine sighed once again, having no other choice but to sit on the mattress and not complain.

You repeated the action on the second lock and Nine shivered. This time your movements were slow and careful instead of plainly grabbing his hair and chopping it off in random directions. That had been his nightmare.

The elongated sound of the scissors separating the hair caused goosebumps to arise on Nine's skin. Your hand ran down the nape of his neck and rubbed at the skin there. You then entangled your fingers in between the lower strands and measured. Nine could feel your breath on his neck as you leaned down to assess.

He tried to calm his beating heart. He took deep breaths. You ran your hands from his scalp to the roots of his hair to the ends. And *snip* went the scissors. Nine didn't know how many times you had done this, but he knew he didn't want you to stop.

Unfortunately for him, you moved your hands away and looked at the final result. Nine glanced at the clock, how long had it been? He hadn't even felt the thirty minutes go by.

You moved in front of him and knelt down to his face. Your lips were parted slightly, a result of your focus. Nine stared at the concentrated look on your face and a small smile formed.

You reached your hand out and ran it through his short hair. You didn't cut them too short like Nine had insisted. In fact, in your opinion, you had cut them just right.

Nine stilled, stunned by your actions. Both of your hand found the sides of his head and tugged at the ends of brown strands. Your eyes moved in between the two.

Nine swallowed, "What are you doing?"

"Measuring if the sides are equal," you chuckled and met his eyes. "All good," you hummed but your hands stayed there for a while. Your faces were inches close and Nine could barely breath. He looked at your lips and you returned the favor.

He leaned forward, not sure that you wanted to do this. You reassured his unvoiced insecurities and placing your lips on his. Pink and bow-like, Nine's lips fit with your perfectly— completing them like an unsolved puzzle.

When you parted from him, it took him a while to open his eyes again. He felt flustered and his face began to feel hot.

You smiled and rested your head against his. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you down onto the bed. Thankfully, the sheets were clean due to you throwing the 'excess' hair in the nearby bin.

You both stayed like that for a while, limbs entangled and faces so close to each that your talking was coming out as mumbling into each other's mouths.

[wagner-fell]

Spiders Are Ugly And Other Lies Capitalism Has Told Us (part one)

“Dad,” Astrid called out, shutting the coral coloured front door behind her. “Are you home?”

She dumped her cream tote bag spray painted with the words ‘Washing Machine Heart’ in big, rainbow letters onto one of the stools facing the granite countertop. The rest of the Merry Hoes followed suit. It was weird seeing a person as chaotic as Astrid in such a calm environment.

They were all spending the summer in LA with Astrid and her Dad. It had taken a while for Kevin to convince his family it was a good idea. Especially because he and Blessica had finally put years of pinning behind them. Making out on Kit’s bed at Mina’s third birthday party certainly wasn’t the way they had envisioned it but as the longing was over with, they were happy.

The Chu’s didn’t love the idea of their son living in a different country for three months with his girlfriend but we’re on board once Kevin assured them there was no possible way Blessica could get pregnant.

Kit wasn’t officially sleeping at the Yang’s but at the Institute with his boyfriend. Julian wasn’t so thrilled about the situation but Emma was. She was positively ecstatic about having a training partner as skilled as Kit was, courtesy of Jem and Tessa. Though staying a thirty minute drive away (on the wrong side of the road, Mari noted) wouldn’t keep Kit away for long. Even now he was with them instead of having his own reunion make out session.

Speaking of making out…

Mari rested their chin on the top of Astrid’s head and wrapped their arms around her middle. “Why don’t you show us your room while we wait for your dad to get home.”

It was kinda perfect, Mari often remarked, that she realized her feelings for their best friend weren’t so platonic as she previously led herself to believe at the same time they and Kit realized they were better off as just platonic.

Astrid hit her hand playfully. “That’s not fair!” she whined! ”How dare you take advantage of my constant hornyness when my God-fearing Presbyterian father could be in the next room? Shame! Shame on you, shame on your family, shame on your cow.”

“I’m pretty sure it’s ‘dishonor’”, said Kit, who didn’t even look up from his phone when he addressed her, “but go off I guess.”

Astrid looked like she was questioning all her life choices up to this point. “A white boy knows Mulan better than me.” She shook her head in disgust. Mari could feel the loose hairs of her girlfriend’s ponytail ticking her exposed collar bone. “Mulan.”

Mari laughed before softly brushing their lips against Astrid mop of bleached strands of pastel yellow, pink and blue mixed magnificently with her natural inky black.

“Is hornyness even a word?” Kevin wondered aloud as he observed the knickknacks placed at even intervals utop the kitchen cabinets. Blessica was with him. She was gazing at one of a crab steering a ship when she spotted a slim piece of paper taped below it.

“Ast,” she called. The both looked in her direction, despite Blessica needing the attention of one. “Your dad says he won’t be home till seven. Emergency at work.”

“Which leaves us more than enough time to pack and head over to meet Ty, Dru and Thaìs at the arcade,” said Kit. He finally turned his phone off and shoved it into the back pocket of his ripped jeans. “Marstrid can do the ol’ devil’s tango then catch up to us.”

‘Marstrid’ wrinkled their noses. “I thought we agreed on Astari, Christopher.”

“Astari sounds gayer,” confirmed Kevin, his eyes never leaving the miniature decorations.

“Not to be rude but why does Astari sound gayer?” asked a visibly confused Blessica.

“Because,” answered Mari, unraveling herself from Astrid to slide onto one of the bar stools and reaching into the Jolly Rancher jar, blindly searching for a green, “Astari has ‘star’ in it. Star equals astrology. An obsession with astrology is the price you pay for the gay agenda. Besides, Marstrid sounds like an old southern lady.” Then she furrowed her eyebrows and swiveled to face Astrid. “Southern is Texas, right?” Astrid nooded, a smile so big the Cheshire Cat would be jealous.

Without looking, she stuck her hand in the jar and pulled out a green apple flavoured hard candy on her first try. She held it out to Mari, who snatched it out of her hand with an angry huff.

“Hey, Ast, where do you guys keep the crisps?” asked Kevin when he finished inspecting all the knickknacks.

“Uh, under the barbecue sauce, I think.”

Kit’s eyes lit up. “So I’m sitting there”- Astrid understood what was happening in just enough time to quote- “barbecue sauce on my titties” in unison.

Mari put her head into their open palms, still sucking on the pity candy. “Why is this my type?”

“Are you sure this is the right place?” asked Blessica as Kit attempted to parallel park outside the location Ty had texted him to meet at. Key word, attempt. When Tessa had taught him to drive, he’d been such a disaster at parallel parking she had instructed him to ‘take the underground when tight spaces might be a possibility.’ Which he prided himself in doing. But this was America and the underground was called the subway, so, technically, no rules were being broken.

“Yes, Blessie, I’m certain.”

“Okay. Just checking cause a few turns back the GPS said-”

“Blessie!” He nearly crashed into the car in front of him.

“Right. Shutting up.”

When Kit managed to park with minimal damage and the three were about to exit, the voice of Nicki Minaj boomed from his pocket. Ty was calling him. He accepted the call, putting it on speaker.

“Hello Tiberius.” There was giggling from the other end of the line. A groan soon followed it.

“It’s been a year,” came the annoyed voice of Dru. “Get over your British kink already.” Kevin’s laughter echoed from the backseat.

“Hey Ty!

“Hi Kevin.”

”Hey Dru!”

“Fuck off.”

“Ouch. Why do you feel the need to hurt me so?” Blessica laughed.

“Hey…Thaìs?”

“Here,” replied Thaìs cheerfully.

“Are you here yet,” asked Ty.

“Uh, yeah! We were just getting out of the rental car when you called. You didn’t tell me it was going to be crowded. I had to parallel park!”

“What are you talking about?” interrupted Dru. ”There are only four cars in the parking lot.”

“But,” Ty countered, “there are lots of Billy’s Fun Zones’ around here. You guys must have got mixed up and taken a wrong turn. I could have sworn I sent you the correct location on GPS.” Maybe Ty said more on the subject but Kit could hear anything or see anything except the superior smirk Blessica was giving him.

He covered the speaker. “Not. A. Word.” And no word came out of her mouth the entire ride to the correct Billy’s Fun Zone but the ‘I told you so’ look on her face spoke loud enough.

Kit slid back into the booth next to Ty, handing him his pretzel. Ty kissed him on the check in gratitude.

Dru and Ty were right. About this one being empty. He told him he had heard about it from Alyssa. Her pack frequented it often. They were left alone because, well, there was no one else there to bother them.

“Where are Astrid and Mari?” he asked.

“Fucking. I think. Or maybe just making out. I’ll know which one when they finish.” When Ty gave him a puzzled look he continued, “Astrid describes it all to me in full detail. I honestly don’t know whether she doesn’t have a filter or she just needs someone to scream to about how amazing Mari is.”

“Why can’t it be both?”

“True, true.”

They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes before Ty picked up the conversation again. “When Thaìs first met Astrid, she had a huge crush on her. They got along great. I always thought they would end up together. Or hook up at the very least.”

“Huh, that’s funny,” observed Kit.

“What is?”

“When me and Mari split, I was planning on trying to set them up with Thaìs. But then I caught her ans Astrid making out in a storage closet at school. Which, in hindsight, was pretty stupid cause they were in there so I wouldn’t be sad Mari moved on when I opened the door in the first place avoiding her to call you.”

“Hmmmm.”

The gears in Ty’s head were visibly turning. Kit loved watching this process. An idea was forming in his boyfriend’s genius mind, he could sense it.

“What is their stance on monogamy?” he asked finally.

“Um, fuck, hold on. Mari sent me this whole speech about it.” Kit scrolled through his phone at a rapid rate before he saw what he was looking for. He cleared his throat and began reading aloud.

Mari_da_bisexual_whore, sent 1:52 AM: monogamy is just another lie capitalism has fed us

Mari_da_bisexual_whore, sent 1:55 AM: like, for example, the notion that house spiders are ugly and to be feared

Mari_da_bisexual_whore, sent 1:56 AM: it’s just to sell bug spray

Mari_da_bisexual_whore, sent 1:56 AM: same with monogamy

Mari_da_bisexual_whore, sent 1:56 AM: pointless!!!

Mari_da_bisexual_whore, sent 1:58 AM: in conclusion, if I want to join a polyam cult, who tf is the government to stop me?

Kev-Kev, sent 2:01 AM: mari please go to sleep

Bless-ing_to_the_world, sent 2:04 AM: ^^^^^^^^^^^

Mitski_my_love, sent 2:05 AM: preach!

Mitski_my_love, sent 2:05 AM: go off queen

By the time Kit was finished with his dramatic reading, Ty’s plan was fully formed.

“That settles it! We are going to play matchmakers!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alyssa, Ty’s friend mentioned is @thechangeling OC, not mine.

@the-blackdale @the-wckd-powers @adoravel-fenomeno @thomas-gaypanic-lightwood @illusions-give-reasons-to-live @ithurielkeepsgettingkidnapped @im-not-ruined-im-ruination @sofiatheskeleton @cncnbr @its-taff @noah-herondale-lightwood @maxboythedog @arangiajoan @shelvesofgold @book-dragon-not-worm sorry if I missed anyone LMK if you want to be added or removed from The tag List!!

[lonelyreputation]

Trick or Treat (Dad!Shawn) MASTERLIST | LET’S CHAT 🔮

A/N: Happy Halloween! Thought it would be nice be have a little festive fic to celebrate 🎃👻🦇🌖🧟‍♂️

Summary: It’s the first time you and Shawn take your son trick-or-treating 🧛🏻‍♂️🕸👨🏼‍🚒

Warnings: None!

WC: 2.4K // Fluff

It was the first time your kid was really old enough to understand the concept of Halloween.  After his preschool teacher held a Halloween party for the class where they all dressed up, traded candy, and played musical chairs to the Monster Mash…Your son became a Halloween enthusiast.

Your son, Aiden, bugged you and Shawn to go Trick-or-Treating––but Daddy! Charlie’s going!––He threw a tantrum in his carseat when Shawn picked him up from school.  And when they got home, after a tiny time out, Shawn and your son talked about Trick-or-Treating.  

It wasn’t that Shawn didn’t want to take his son out…It was more that he enjoyed a night in with his family more.  So far, every Halloween was spent sitting in the driveway, with a fire pit, with his little family as kids from the neighborhood came up for candy.  He also liked when Aiden would sit on his lap and cuddle in close to him as they felt the warmth of the fire.

And Shawn knew that when his kid started Trick-or-Treating, it would speed up the process of him growing up even more.

But once everything was settled to go Trick-or-Treating, then came the dilemma of both of you wanting to go with your son since it would be his first time.  Your parents were out of town, and it was Shawn’s parents anniversary, so you couldn’t ask them.  

So, it only left Aaliyah.

You knew she probably had better plans than to sit at her brother’s house and give out candy, but she was your last hope.  Shawn begged and pleaded with his younger sister to give out candy, bribing her with whatever she wanted.  And while it took a lot of convincing on Shawn’s end, Aaliyah just wanted to see her brother grovel.

Even though they were both not teenagers anymore, they still acted like it.

You were buttoning up Aiden’s yellow fireman jacket when you heard your husband whine from the doorway.

“Where’s your costume?”

Still buttoning his little jacket, you looked up to see Shawn in his costume.  You couldn’t help but let out a small laugh.  Standing with a pout in the doorway, Shawn was dressed in black pants, a white dress shirt under a black vest, a black cape––with a red underside––tied around his neck, as he gelled back his hair.

Shawn took out his fake fangs, “I thought we were both dressing up?”

You rolled your eyes at your husband, patting your sons shoulders when you were done buttoning up his shirt, placing the red firefighter hat on him, “I’m going as an exhausted mother to a three-year-old.”

Shawn slumped his shoulders, “You are an exhausted mother to a three-year-old,” he sighed, “That’s not a costume.”

You raised both of your eyebrows at him and Shawn held his hands up in defense of his smart talk.

“Mommy,” Aiden tugged on your sweatshirt, “What is ex-asted?”

You glared at Shawn again before kneeling down to be face-face-with your son, “It means that I love you very much.”

Aiden’s eyes lit up and you melted at his smile, “So you always love me?”

You nodded your head and kissed his cheek before standing up, “I’ll always always love you.”

When you looked to your side, you saw Shawn with a soft smile on his face, with adoration written all over his eyes as he stared at his little family.  You could tell he was lost in his thoughts, but then Aiden spoke up, bringing him back into the moment.

“Is Daddy ex-asted?”

Shawn’s smile dropped and you let out a loud laugh.  You smirked at Shawn, who now glared at you, before looking down at your son who had his eyebrows scrunched together in confusion, “He’s always exhausted.”

And like before, your son’s eyes lit up and he clapped his hands together, thinking that it meant that his dad would always love him, “I’m ex-asted too!”

Both you and Shawn let out a laugh at your son’s misunderstanding of the word.  And while you both did your best to educate your kid when he asked what something meant…He was only three, and his reactions were too cute to let him know what the actual word meant.

“Are you really not dressing up?” Shawn asked with a hint of sadness in his tone.

You looked over at him and saw that he really wanted you to dress up.  The eyes you fell in love with were wide and pleading with you to uphold your end of the promise.  And with a reluctant sigh, you nodded your head, and Shawn’s eyes lit up.

You walked past him and quickly pecked his lips, with your son yelling out a loud––yuck!––as you smiled, “Give me a minute.”

Shawn proudly smiled as you walked out of your son’s room and into your own.  Inside your closet, you thought about what last minute costume you could put together.  Your eyes landed on balck leggings, and a very simple idea popped into your head.

Changing out of your jeans to black leggings, you also swapped the sweatshirt of Shawn’s you were wearing for a long-sleeved black t-shirt and threw on a black sweatshirt on top.  Once you slipped on a pair of black sneakers, you walked into your bathroom to draw a black circle on your nose, with whiskers on your cheek.

Satisfied with your lazily put together costume, you walked out of your room and down the stairs, where you saw Shawn explaining the rules of the night to your son.  

“You always hold either Mommy or Daddy’s hand,” Shawn said as Aiden nodded, “Always say please and thank you after you get candy from a house,” Aiden nodded his head, “And you don’t run off.” Aiden nodded his head again.

Once Shawn was done explaining the rules of the night, he turned around and stopped when he saw your costume.  He blinked a few times, “That’s your costume?”

“Mommy, you’re a kitty!” Aiden giggled as he climbed down from the barstool and raced over to hug your legs.

You playfully glared up at Shawn before you bent down to give your son a real hug.  He wrapped his tiny arms around your neck––so tight––that you had to pull away after a few seconds of not being able to breathe.

You smiled down at Aiden who looked about ready to burst.  So you grabbed the plastic pumpkin off the counter and handed it to your son, “Ready for Trick-or-Treating?”

Aiden shouted a very loud, “yes!” As he took the pumpkin from your grasp and ran toward the front door.

“Aiden, what were the rules?!” Shawn raised his voice just a little, not out of anger, but so that his son could hear him from the other room.

You and Shawn walked to the foyer, where AIden had his hand on the door knob, and he looked up at his dad with wide eyes, “Sorry, Daddy.”  And he reached out to hold Shawn’s hand.

Shawn smiled down at his son and happily took his hand, “It’s no problem, we just don’t want you getting hurt.”

And with that, you opened the door and felt the soft breeze of the Canadian air hit your face.  The wind picked up some of the fallen leaves and they crunched under your feet when you walked outside to shut the door behind your family.  

When you looked down, you saw the jack-o-lanterns you carved with Shawn, your son was only interested in digging out the slimy pumpkin seeds. And when you picked your head up, you noticed that some families had already gotten a head start on Halloween.  The sun was still up, slowly setting behind the trees, and it was the time where all the younger kids went out with their parents before bedtime.

You walked out to the driveway where Aaliyah was sitting on a chair from the patio Shawn brought out front for her to sit on.  Kids were just leaving from getting candy from your house when she turned her head to see you all coming out.

“Oh my God,” her mouth dropped as she looked between the three of you, “Aiden your costume is so cool!”

Aiden smiled, showing all his teeth, “Thanks LiLi,” you could see Aaliyah melt at the nickname your son gave her when he was younger because he couldn’t properly say Aaliyah.

“I need a picture,” she whipped out her phone, “Mom will absolutely cry at this.”

Shawn rolled his eyes, “Is that really a good idea?” But as he said it, he wrapped an arm around your shoulder, pulling you in close to his side.  And he brought Aiden around in front of you both, still holding his hand.

“On three say Trick or Treat!”  Aaliyah happily said as Aiden eagerly nodded his head, “One, two, three––”

“Trick-or-Treat!” All three of you said, with Aiden’s voice drowning out yours and Shawn’s voice, as everyone smiled.

Aaliyah smiled down at her phone saying she would send it to both of you.  Thanking her was cut off short when you saw Shawn get dragged up the driveway by your son.

“Let’s go!” Aiden laughed as he tried his hardest to run, while still holding onto Shawn’s hand.  

You saw Aaliyah pull out her phone again and snap another picture.

Following your excited son up the driveway, you walked the short way to your neighbors house.  Aiden excitedly knocked on the door and rang the doorbell.  When the family next door opened the door Aiden brightly smiled and shouted, “Trick or Treat!”

Your neighbor gushed at his costume and even complimented Shawn’s costume, who proudly smiled because you knew he put a lot of effort into making your son's first Halloween memorable.

Once you left your neighbors house, Aiden excitedly looked up at Shawn and shook his bucket, “Candy!”

Shawn let out an over dramatic gasp, “Already so much!”  You let out a soft laugh because there were only three mini pieces of candy.

Aiden proudly smiled and continued to drag Shawn along to the next house.  When he got candy from there, he looked up at Shawn again, and showed him the inside of his bucket.  

As the three of you were walking to your your third house of the night, Aiden started singing, “Trick or Treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat––”

“Aiden!” You chastised your son who sang the opening to a crude Halloween jingle.

He looked up at you with wide eyes, quickly apologizing before placing the blame on your husband, “Daddy was singing it!”

You glared at Shawn who just shrugged his shoulders as the three of you walked down another drive way, “Old habits die hard.”

That continued on for nearly another hour and a half.  Aiden would ring the doorbell, or walk up to a family sitting in their driveway, and excitedly shout Trick or Treat.

It was getting later, the sky turning a light shade of purple mixed with some dark blue swirls.  And you could tell by how your son no longer dragged Shawn’s hand to another house that he was worn out.  Aiden was leaning against Shawn and you saw his eyes droop down.

“Is it bedtime?” You briefly looked up at Shawn, who stopped walking. He nodded his head at you, before looking back down at Aiden.

Aiden shook his head against Shawn’s leg, “More candy.”

You let out a laugh and took his plastic pumpkin from him, “It looks like you have a lot of candy already.”

Aiden shook his head again, voice sounding groggy, “More.”

“I’m sure LiLi saved some candy for you,” Shawn said as he placed both hands under Aiden’s armpits and lifted him up.  Immediately, Aiden wrapped his arms and legs around Shawn’s waist, and rested his head on his shoulder.

You took off his plastic red firefighter hat, so it wouldn’t fall off, and Aiden snuggled his head further into Shawn’s neck.  You smiled at the sight and looked up to see Shawn already smiling at you.

“Well,” you said as you continued to walk around your neighborhood, “Looks like he’s already asleep.”

Shawn nodded, holding in a laugh, since he didn’t want to wake up his son, “First Halloween in the books.”

“Pretty soon he’ll be in high school asking to go to a party instead of Trick-or-Treating with his parents.” You let out a laugh because it was the general way Halloween went when you grew up.  But when you looked to your side, Shawn was not laughing.

“He won’t be going to any parties,” Shawn grumbled, “He’ll be giving out candy with me.”

You rolled your eyes and walked closer to him, taking Shawn’s free hand in yours, “That’s a long way off, he’s only three.”

“I want him to stay this age forever,” Shawn whispered as you turned onto your street.

You squeezed his hand, “So do I.”

The walk back to your house was done in silence, as the both of you appreciated the night you had with your son.  Aaliyah was still outside when you returned and she smiled as she saw her nephew fast asleep on her brother’s shoulder.

“Mom called me up crying after I sent her the picture,” Aaliyah laughed.

Shawn rolled his eyes and sat down in the extra chair he made sure to bring out before they left.  He knew it would be an early night, and part of why Halloween was his favorite holiday was that he was able to sit by the fire with his son.  

Aaliyah stood up, draping the blanket she was curled up in, over Shawn so Aiden wouldn’t be cold.

You moved the other empty chair right up to Shawn and ran your fingers up and down Aiden’s back.  He squirmed a bit and you saw him pick his head up from Shawn’s shoulder, “Daddy?”

“Shh,” Shawn hushed him and pressed a kiss to the top of his head, “You can go back to sleep.”

Aiden sniffled a bit, curling his hand in a fist and rubbing his left eye, as he turned to face Aaliyah, “LiLi, do you have candy for me?”

All three of you laughed and Aaliyah nodded your head, “I’ve got loads of candy for you,” she then leaned in, keeping her voice low, even though she knew both of you could hear, “But don’t tell your parents.”

Aiden nodded before placing his head back onto Shawn’s shoulder.  It wasn’t until Shawn felt his son’s even breathing that he knew he was asleep.  And even though Shawn didn’t want his son to grow up anymore than you did, he couldn’t wait to take his son Trick-or-Treating next year.

Taglist: @adelaidestreets, @alilovesshawn, @alina--jpeg, @fallinallincurls, @lights-on-mendes, @mendesficsxbombay, @particularnarry, @shawnmendez, @shawnsreputation, @turtoix, @vinylmendes, @5-seconds-of-mendes, @pupsandducks @musicalkeys, @madatmendes @im-salt-but-not-salty @sunkisseddreamer, @crossedties @fortheloveoftheaussies, @illuminatepotter , @par_r, @perfectlywrongsm​ @lovelysunset1​

[apenapaperandadoofus]

Tis the long await fic....

First time (Jumin x MC, NSFW, FLUFF)

Summary: What happens when you put two horny virgins in a room, the two of them not even knowing how to put a condom on? Chaos. Absolute chaos.

.......

"Mm Jumin I think I'm ready." You said between kisses, looking at your boyfriend straight in the eyes. He stopped and looked at you, caressing your cheek.

"You're sure?" He asked, and you nodded, smiling up at him shyly. Jumin smiled lovingly back and cupped your cheek, kissing you passionately, his hands unbottoning your shirt. You helped by taking his shirt off (today he didn't have to work, so thankfully it was just one layer of clothes.) And you ran your hands through his bare chest. Jumin sighed happily and started taking your bra off, while you slipped down your panties.

After a few tries Jumin pulled away and gave you a confused look. "Love, could you please help me out? I can't seem to work out how to remove your brassiere...."

You giggled as you looked at your boyfriend's adorable confused face and he blushed.

"It's just harder than I thought it would be....." He mumbled, and you chuckled, quickly pecking him on the lips.

"It's fine Jumin, I got it!" In a few seconds you had taken your bra off. Jumin looked in awe. Mostly because of your beautiful body, but also because he couldn't believe how you managed to take that thing off in a matter of seconds and just with one hand.

You blushed and started to cover your body a bit, but Jumin gently grabbed your hands and began kissing all over your neck and made his way down your chest. You shivered at the feeling of his cool lips against your skin. Jumin smiled and gently pushed you down for you to lay on your back, taking his pants off.

You pulled him down to kiss him while he took his undergarments off and was now laying bare on top of you. You were both blushing and panting. But Jumin had this look of love and adoration that you found adorable. He kept kissing your neck and then glanced up at you.

"Are you ready?" He asked, and you nodded, closing your eyes. You waited to feel him finally be inside of you, for the two of you to become one for the first time.

You heard him let out a shaky breath and you braced yourself again. Maybe he was nervous, he could take his time.

So you kept waiting.

And waiting.

You opened your eyes and decided to speak up when you heard him mumbling to himself.

"Jumin...?" You asked, and he looked at you, surprised.

"Yes love?"

"Is everything alright?"

Jumin stared at you and then sighed, a slight trace of red on his cheeks.

"I'm afraid I do not know what to do now. I expected something to happen, but it's been a few minutes and nothing has. I thought the process of penetration began automatically, but it seems we have to do something to get it started. I just don't know what."

You felt your eyes widen and slowly sat up, Jumin quickly moving to sit beside you.

You found it adorable as heck that he was nervous and didn't really know what to do., You tried to answer him and give him instructions but then.....you couldn't reply.

And that's when you realized that you had never really paid attention to the video they showed you in the sex education class and had never really talked about it with anyone else.

You were stuck.

"Jumin.... I'd love to answer your question but uh....I don't think I....I don't think I know...."

Jumin raised an eyebrow and, after thinking nodded. He quickly grabbed his phone and started typing something.

"Jumin, what are you doing?" You asked, looking at his phone.

He kept his eyes on the screen, scrolling through, but still answered.

"Normally I prefer to use books instead of the internet, but it's the closest thing we have right now. I'm trying to figure out how to have sex."

Your eyes widened and you let out a laugh, and then covered your mouth. As funny as it sounded, Jumin was actually right. The internet was the only solution right now.

"Oh, hey read this one! It has steps!" You pointed to an article and Jumin clicked it.

"Step number one." He read. "Maintain physical connection. Engaging in cuddling and kissing is essential for maintaining an emotional and physical bond."

"We've been doing that right? Check!" You said, and Jumin nodded.

"Use lubrication. Often the vaginal dryness that-"

"Jumin next one!" You didn't exactly want to hear while trying to have sex, about how your vagina worked. Besides it was definetly killing the mood. You decided to change the subject and look at the next step. "Practice touching."

"Love, it says here that I should ask you where and how you like to be touched. I apologize I did not do so sooner." Jumin said sincerely, and you smiled, resting your head on his shoulder.

"It's alright. I'm sorry I didn't ask you either...could you tell me what you want?"

Jumin ran a hand through his hair and looked at the ground. "I'm afraid I've never really thought about it, so I can't give you an answer. What about you?"

You chuckled. "Me neither I have no idea. Does this article even explain how to have sex? How are we supposed to- oh wait!" You gently took Jumin's phone from his hands and typed something. Then you clicked on a link and gave him a triumphant smile.

"Porn!!" You said. Jumin looked at you, taken aback for a minute and then nodded understanding what you meant.

"That's right....if we watch pornographic content then we should be able to understand how it works. That was a really good idea love." He smiled porudly at you and kissed your forehead, and then got closer to you to look at the screen, making your bare shoulders touch.

You two spent the next twenty minutes binge watching some....questionable porn videos. You had to admit that some of them were....well....you were not prepared. Not only that, but you two couldn't help but comment at a few of them.

"Is that really how it works?" You asked at one point.

"This actress is not giving enough emotion. Someone should have really given her acting classes." Jumin commented on the second video.

"Yeah that's true. I just don't feel like she's feeling it you know? It looks way too fake."

After a long time, Jumin decided to give up and put on his pants and quickly walk over to look for a certain thing on his bookshelf.

You decided to watch a bit more porn but found out it wasn't as fun with Jumin by your side judging the actor's performance, so you scrolled through social media and saved some cat videos to show to Jumin later.

Meanwhile, Jumin was stacking up all his Playboy magazines and started studying. He read through every single magazine, studying the pictures, absorbing every drop of knowledge.

And then finally....he was ready.

He walked into the room and you looked at him excitedly.

"Did you figure it out?!" You asked, and Jumin smiled, nodding.

"Yes. I believe I've read enough in the matter to understand what to do. Would you want to continue?" He looked up at you and you excitedly nodded. He took his pants off and walked over to the bed, kneeling on top of you and moving a strand of hair away from your face.

You blushed and kissed him. The room becaming hotter and hotter in a matter of seconds, the kisses were now rough and passionate. As Jumin nipped and sucked on your chest (something he found out you really enjoyed) you felt a warm feeling begin to spread across your legs. You whimpered and Jumin stopped sucking, looking at you.

"Would you like me to put it in now?" He whispered, and you nodded. He placed a hand in between your legs and then kissed you, smirking. "It seems we won't need the lubricant. You're wet enough for me to put it in. Let me just get the condom." He started moving but you grabbed his hand and shook your head.

"I-its fine, I'm o-on the pill. P-please just do s-something....my body it's...it's so hot...please do something Jumin....I need to you..." You pleaded, and then, before you could say anything else, you gasped as you felt Jumin quickly thrust his hips against you, inserting himself inside you. You felt tears form in your eyes and Jumin kissed them and wiped them again with his hand.

"Sorry love...I just...you were being so adorable and I couldn't help myself...does it hurt?"

You whimpered, but then shook your head.

Jumin began gently thrusting, the two of you gasping and moaning everytime he moved his hips. You wrapped your arms around his neck and then let out a yelp as you felt him hit a spot that felt amazing. Jumin stopped, alarmed, and glanced over at you, asking if he should continue.

You nodded, unable to speak, and then kissed him.

"Y-you can keep going... j-just...please be gentle..." You managed to whisper.

You saw Jumin's expression change and gasped as you felt him harden inside of you. Jumin's eyes were filled with lust, and he kissed you deeply before saying, "I'm sorry love, I can't hold back anymore. Bear with me for a bit now..."

You moaned as you felt him thrust insanely hard inside you, his movements now quick and rough.

"J-Ju-Jumin! A-aah!!! I- ah, it's...I...mngh I...ANGHHH, toooo...too faaaa-ast! Mmmph agh, it's so-o-o.. good! It's so good, ah! Ah!"

Jumin kissed you, cupping your cheeks.

"L-love...mgh...you're...you...you feel amazing.....ahhh, I think I'm going to....mmph, I'm going to come soon...." He said between kisses and you nodded.

"M-me too! MNNNGH, Jumin!"

"I love you..." He whispered as he nuzzled your nose.

"L-love you...t-too..."

The two of you quickly reached your climax, letting out a pleasure filled scream, and when you were done you were both left panting. Jumin didn't move yet from his spot, not wanting to hurt you. When you looked up at him you smiled, and he smiled back. The two of you kissed each other softly, humming happily.

"That was fun." You said, and Jumin chuckled.

"It was. I'm glad you enjoyed it."

"Those playboy magazines did end up being useful huh?" You joked, and Jumin chuckled.

"It seems like it. Although the videos did help too."

"I'm glad at least now we know how it works. For next time y'know?" You said, and Jumin kissed your forehead, smiling.

"I know. Although I am a bit more curious about the other things you could do when having sex. It's actually a very interesting topic, it's really diverse. And there are a few things I'd like to try out, especially about positions. Then there's also this other part of the subject that I found fascinating, people usually call it something like bd- "

You quickly kissed him and pet his head, giggling. "Alrigh, alright buddy, let's take it slow. Why don't we go take a shower and then we can talk about this later? As much as I enjoyed it, right now I feel really dirty....and sticky..."

Jumin laughed. "Of course love, as you wish." He started carrying you bridal style towards the bathroom.

Although in the end you did a bit more than take a shower, so you lasted there a bit longer than usual.

Even if the two of you were new at this, it was great!

And you had to admit that for beginners? The two of you didn't do bad.

[kaminobiwan]

stargazing

pairing: obi-wan kenobi x jedi!reader

summary: Existential musings under the stars. Real Disney Princess moment here, folks. (Obi is the princess obviously)

a/n: The prompt demanded it be given to Padawan!Obi. I simply complied. Also, I sprinkled some of my astronomy knowledge in there, bc uni. Thank you AST 104.

This was part of my 175 follower celebration (still open), requested by the ever lovely @highcouncil! Please, for the love of all that is holy, do your Obi-Wan Kenobi-loving hearts a favor and read her amazing work. You’ll thank yourselves for it.

“That one’s the Burning Snake.”

Obi-Wan points to an ambiguous spot in the sky, his too-big robes flapping across his face. He shakes his arm, readjusting the folds, and gestures again.

“Sorry — that one.”

He hears you toss a snort over your shoulder, your back to his as you lean on each other to stay upright. Both of your necks are craned towards the constellations that dapple the ink-black backdrop blanketing Coruscant, and the night is soundless with the exception of your voices.

“Are you sure you’re remembering these right? I’m pretty sure you were reading that starmap upside-down earlier.”

“Was not,” he exclaims, though there is some truth to each of your statements. He’d quickly corrected the map before too long, and he was sure of his memorization after spending so much time in the archives. Positive.

You shift against him, seemingly placated, and he relaxes too, careful not to tug on the Padawan braid behind your ear. It’s predictably still sore after Quinlan had tangled your braids together in a practical joke only three hours ago, the two of you too engrossed in your readings to notice that the Force was being manipulated against you. It had taken fourteen minutes and half a jar of flounut butter to unravel the knots that had formed in the fray.

You gesture towards a star in the distance, and Obi-Wan follows your lead. “What’s that one, then?”

His answer comes immediately. “The Eye of the Pirate. At least make it a challenge for me.”

Your noise of lofty glee jolts him from his position, and he nearly falls flat on his back as you maneuver your body above him so that you’re face to face. Though from his point of view, you’re upside-down. “It was a trick question. The Eye of the Pirate is only visible from Corellia.”

He frowns, his hands moving to cushion his head. “No, it’s not. We can see it from here, too.”

You make an unpleasant face at him, but he thinks it’s rather cute from this angle. As soon as the thought passes through his brain, though, it’s gone. He shuffles away to hide his face from you, but you’re too close to escape.

“You’re wrong. Not every red star is the Eye of the Pirate, Obi!”

Truthfully — and it’s not just because he doesn’t want to admit he might be incorrect — he’s not sure if the star is in fact the one he claims it to be, or whether he’d mixed up Coruscant with Corellia in his studying. But he’s desperate to get out of your line of sight — even though it’s late into the evening, the moonlight pouring into the Temple garden illuminates the entirety of the landscape, and no doubt his embarrassment along with it.

Ever since you’d started to call him Obi, it was hard to handle being in close proximity to you. The physical reaction his blushing upper body always displayed was definitely not something Qui-Gon would be pleased by.

“Okay, maybe it’s not!” He retorts, and you tumble down next to him with a laugh. He blinks some of your hair out of his eyes, but doesn’t ask you to move away from the spot you’ve placed your head, snug into the juncture between his shoulder and neck. Much better.

“Enough with the quizzing, anyway.” Your murmur brings him back to the stars, and he has to remind himself not to turn his head to look at you. “Let’s just take it all in.”

“But you love quizzes.”

“Yes, when the real thing isn’t right there in front of us,” you tease, and Obi-Wan clamps his mouth shut once more. “It’s called stargazing. Not star-analyzing.”

“There is such a thing as — ”

“Shh!”

He fidgets in the grass, unsure of what to do in the silence next to you. As he connects the dots between the clusters of stars across the dark expanse, his memory supplies endless cascades of information and astronomic facts, filling his mental capacity to the point that —

“Obi-Wan.”

Your voice is hushed, as if you’ve just woken up from slumber, but he hears the slight command in your words. “Yes?”

“I can hear your thoughts from here.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

You lean up on your outside elbow, tilting towards him and tucking your hair behind your neck before it can prick the skin of his forehead. “Aren’t you the prodigy of meditation among your crèchemates? What’s wrong?”

Instead of meeting your eyes, Obi-Wan shrugs, and feigns a stretch. “Just having trouble, I guess.”

“You guess.” You echo, unconvinced, but lay back down regardless. “You’re worried about something.”

“I’m not worried, I’m restless. It doesn’t seem right to be stargazing if we’re not going to at least study them. We both have upcoming assignments, might I remind you.”

As if you could have forgotten. Your mission to Halcyon was all you’d been talking about the past week. Still, you’d gushed more over your excitement at hearing his stories than chronicling your own. Obi-Wan had promised to tell you all about the planet of Naboo upon his return to the Temple.

“You’re fretting over the trade dispute? I’m sure you’ll be able to handle the Federation representatives. Though I’ve read that Neimoidian workers regularly compete amongst themselves, and the winning team gets to eat the other — !” You catch the look he sends you out of the corner of your eye, and he allows himself a half-smile as you bashfully fall silent. “Sorry. Probably not what you want to hear right now.”

The apology wasn’t necessary. You both know it. But sometimes, he appreciates that you’d rather it still be said.

“I’m just…feeling unprepared. Luminara and Shaak Ti both faced the trials at my age, and I thought I’d be ready. But I can’t even tell if Qui-Gon thinks I am or not.” You’ve stilled beside him, but he feels you latching on to every word. “I don’t know.”

“You are ready,” you say simply.

“Yes, and if I am, then what?” He asks, to no one in particular. He knows the stars have as much a probability of knowing the future as you do. Maybe more, judging by how often Qui-Gon called to them in exasperation. “Everything changes. I can’t help but feel as though nothing will be the same, soon.”

You’re quiet for a moment, but then he hears what sounds like a chuckle from you. He raises a confused eyebrow, but doesn’t shift his body.

“Obi, of course everything will change. Nothing can stop that,” you say, reaching your fingers out and upwards. “Even the stars can’t prevent themselves from growing and dissipating. Eventually, they’ll all turn into nebulas, or supernovas, or black holes in violent implosions.” You trace an imaginary line across the air, drawing your own constellation, joining together specks that Obi-Wan imagines must be hundreds of parsecs apart. His eyes follow the pattern as you go. “You’re not a star.”

He blinks. “I’m not?”

Immediately, he wants to palm his face, because obviously he’s not a star, no matter how luminous Master Yoda professes him to be, but he just hadn’t known what you meant and now he’s gone and made himself sound like an idiot. But you continue, unfazed, as if you’d predicted he’d respond in kind.

“You’re not,” you repeat, and lower your hand down to your stomach. “You can choose what you become. You’re not born with a predestined fate. You have control.” Obi-Wan feels his body sink further into the ground, and some voice in the back of his head has the agency to surmise that you sound much wiser beyond your years right now. “What matters most is whether you take that control, or give it back to the universe.”

And now, he’s silent, because how in the name of the Force is he supposed to respond to that?

But you bound up again, high-spirited and bubbly and not nearly as prophetic as you had been a second earlier, and conclude, “At least, that’s what Master Koon says.”

He groans as you release a peal of laughter, and slumps further into the dirt. “Did you seriously just recite one of his lessons to me?”

“No! I made it much more interesting,” you clutch a hand to your chest in mock displeasure, and Obi-Wan crosses his arms. “I mean, I ad-libbed along the way, but I still meant what I said. I don’t think it’ll do you any good to worry.” As you speak, he lets his eyes unfocus towards the stars, white and yellow and blue diamonds alike blurring together in a disjointed mosaic. The tip of your nose rims the edge of his vision, and he exhales slowly with what feels like relief, though he isn’t completely sure. But you seem to be more at peace, too, and your voice even drops to a solemn resonance. “What you ask for tends to come and find you. Serenity, wisdom, trouble…”

“I’ve definitely heard him say that,” Obi-Wan muses, and he knows you’re hiding a grin next to him.

“It’s true,” you reply.

You both lay in the garden for several long moments more, until the voices of your masters can be heard calling your names.

Neither of you get up, despite it. A smile of his own creeps up his cheeks, and Obi-Wan knows you’re thinking exactly the same thing he is.

“Pretend we’re asleep so they’ll have to carry us back to the dorms?”

“Master Koon might break another arm, but yep. Worth it.”

“Worth it,” he agrees, and closes his eyes.

[alpacaparkaseok]

30 Questions Tag Game

Tagged by @moon-write whom I love

name/nickname: B, Bren, Bdawg, Mi Reina (or at least that’s what my phone calls me lol)

star sign: virgo

height: 5′6 (also @moon-write I snorted at your “on a good day” comment here lol)

birthday: september

favorite band: bts (I mean, I would hope so if I’m running this blog lol), Sleeping at Last (been in love with them for so long, pls go listen to them they’re so underrated), Little Mix, TXT, AJR, Lady A, Stray Kids, Shinee, Blackpink, Itzy, MAMAMOO STAN QUEENS YA’LL, Monsta X, Lany, and lots more

time: 8:01 pm

favorite solo artist: HAHA ok, IU, Taylor Swift, CAMILO I LOVE THAT MAN, NF, Quinn XCII, Jon McLaughlin, RM, Agust D, Baekyun, Ben Platt, Ed Sheeran, Leslie Odom Jr., MAX, Neil Diamond, Nat King Cole, j-hope, Evaluna, Beyoncé, Jeremy Zucker, Chelsea Cutler, Kelsea Ballerini, and so many others that I can’t even think straight

song stuck in your head: mad at me by Quinn XCII

last movie you watched: Dan in Real Life

free space!: I’M SO EXCITED FOR THIS NEXT CHAPTER OF HTSS I CAN’T CONTAIN IT AND I LOVE YOU GUYS AND LITERALLY CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH HOW MUCH I LOVE HEARING FROM YOU SO THANK YOU FOR REACHING OUT EVEN IF IT’S JUST TO SCREAM

last show: the bachelorette (I’M DEVASTATED OVER ANDREW S. DON’T TALK TO ME)

when i created this blog: October 2020! I still mentally visit that first month in my head all the time, I loved getting on here and not knowing literally anything lol. can’t believe how much has happened since then!!

what i post: bts fanfics for daysssss and lot���s of things shoving my love for you down your throat and begging for attention lol

last thing i googled: "flowering cactus plants”

other blogs: @seokjinsbookclub is my fic rec blog! 

do i get asks?: ohh I do and I love them haha. you guys are so sweet and hilarious and never fail to make me smile! also I appreciate when you’re vulnerable with me!

why i chose my url?: simple. have you ever heard Kim Seokjin try to pronounce “alpaca parka”?? adorable and hilarious. also added the “seok” at the end as homage to both Seokjin and Hoseok, who is my bias wrecker! (and Namjoon just pouts in the corner and ignores me when I tell him that I literally wrote my first fanfic about him lolll)

following: 70+ I think. I need to follow more but I always forget

followers: ok idk how this keeps happening but ya’ll have starting following me so fast and it’s wild, and I’m about to hit 1000 and I didn’t think that’d happen so quickly, so the thought of hitting 1k before my year mark is baffling and humbling and I just wanna say thank you guys. I love you. 

average hours of sleep: usually 6-8 but last week was about 4 woooo

lucky number: 22!! 

what am i wearing?: workout joggers and a pale pink top! so comfy haha

dream job: writing!! I’m so happy that I get to do it as much as I do, it’s the best thing ever and I wouldn’t change it for the world.  

favorite food: ok there’s this Pacific Islander restaurant where I live and they have a sweet pork rice bowl with steamed veggies and a jalapeño ranch dressing and IT’S STRAIGHT FROM THE HEAVENS I KID YOU NOT AND NOW I HAVE CRAVINGS. also tuna casserole. I love tuna so much. oh and peaches. I love peaches. and avocado toast. 

tea or coffee: neither! 

nationality: American  

favorite song: *nervous chuckling* this is horrible to have to pick just one. how about top 3?? I’d say “Inner Child” by our lovely Tae, “Eight″ by Sleeping at Last (very near and dear to me since that’s my enneagram number, and for some reason this song is so special to me because it immediately takes me to a peaceful spot, but “The Lake” by Galantis and Wrabel. also outro: tear, Let Go, Awake, Follow You by Jon Mclaughlin, and dis-ease and so many more

last book i read: “The Silent Patient” by Alex Michaelides (strongly recommend!!) and currently finishing up “We Were the Lucky Ones” by Georgia Hunter  

top three fictional universes i would like to live in: HP BBY, Throne of Glass!! and Goblin (the k-drama) as long as I get to either date the reaper or the goblin lol

this was fun! tagging @dreamcatcherjiah @ahundredtimesover @delacyrose224 @sierra-fics and @minsyubradio and whoever else wants to do this!

[the-ace-with-spades]

(4/6) the best is yet to come

five times someone realized Ronan and Adam were basically married and one time they actually were

Part 1 │Part 2 │Part 3 │Part 5 │Part 6

Read on ao3

Matty liked Adam. It was not the simple liking he gave everyone he met but something much deeper and more familial — it had a lot to do with how Adam could make Ronan smile the way their whole family used to could.

But also with the way he could explain math.

Declan offered to get him a tutor when they moved to DC but he never liked the idea of a stranger in their house or a stranger seeing how stupid he was exactly. There were probably other dangers with engaging the Lynch family into the normal business, like prep school — which Matty hated the very idea of — so Declan often preferred to tutor Matty himself. It usually ended up with thrown textbooks, screams and another promise of getting Matty a tutor but Matty didn't mind. His grades weren't as critical and he could still get into college, even if it wasn't an Ivy League like Declan would prefer.

In the worst-case scenario, Matty could help Ronan with the farm. Being a farmer was something that sounded like a nice way to make a living. Although that would probably give Declan a hernia.

Matty would usually come to the Barns for the weekend, unless he had other plans with his friends, and help Ronan around until Sunday Mass, after which they would eat dinner together and then Ronan would drive him to catch the bus to Washington or Declan would pick him up, if he was going to the Mass that week.

Most of the time, Adam was also there for at least some of his stay. Matty was pretty sure he moved in with Ronan a few months before and was just pretending he didn't have his own shelves in Ronan's wardrobe, or his own laptop in their dad's study, or the shoes on the porch, or the weird, super-caffeinated green tea, all for the sake of appearances.

When Matty arrived on Friday evening the day before and Ronan went to the bus station to pick him up, the first thing Matty saw at the Barns, was Adam, lying shirtless under a tractor.

It was the one in obnoxious yellow color that their dad used to say was his favorite and it hadn't worked since before their dad died. It was easy to forget Adam was a simple mechanic, as of right now, when he could talk in this weird, Declan-sque way when he sounded both like a teenage boy and a lawyer of twenty years. It was even weirder to remember that Adam was the one that finally coerced Ronan to set up a legitimate firm and pay all the necessary taxes on the property and invest in the modern stuff while Declan tried to do that since he heard Ronan was dropping out to become a farmer.

Matty didn't say anything to this because he was still feeling the wariness Ronan had when it came to the whole being gay thing. Declan said they should leave him alone with it until he was completely ready so Matty never said anything about anything Adam, or Ronan, or Adam and Ronan had done.

He wasn't complaining when Adam offered him to help with algebra while Ronan prepared dinner.

This was also what made Adam feel so familial very quickly — the obvious naturalness of the whole motion.

Matty didn't remember much of their father as he never had that much of contact with him. He supposed that if he did, his parents would probably be in the same position as Ronan and Adam — mom would be preparing dinner and dad would be helping one of his sons with homework. And as strange as the concept of Ronan taking their mom's place on the farm was, it was actually true. Their dad was away so often that throughout most of the year, their mom was the head of the farm and did most of the chores that living with animals and acres of land involved.

Adam didn't look much out of place either. Even though he was at the house more than their dad had — or so Matty assumed, since they were still lying about the moving in thing — despite constant school and work, he belonged there in a way that felt like he was born to live there.

Adam explained his homework, Ronan cooked spinach cream pasta. They ate dinner.

"I'll do the dishes," Adam offered.

"Shut up and sit down, Parrish," Ronan replied, with a tone that was more suited for love confessions or romantic songs.

"Ronan."

"You're not doing the dishes, you worked the whole day so sit on your ass for five minutes and do this thing we normal people love called rest."

Matty wouldn't exactly call any of them normal.

Adam sat down and sighed. He and Ronan had the exact same conversation every time Matty came for the weekend.

"But I'm doing the dishes next time."

Matty had never seen him do the dishes despite him saying it every time.

"Are you staying for the night?" Matty asked because he liked to indulge people — if Adam moving in was something they wanted to hide, then he would pretend it was still a secret.

There was banging on the back door, which was also in the kitchen. Ronan opened the door grumbling and Opal came through.

"Go wash up, munchkin," Ronan said, sounding very much like their mom.

Matty decided to focus on Adam, who admitted, "Yeah, I'll be staying for a couple of days."

By a couple, he probably meant forever but Matty didn't plan to call him out unless it'd be in the speech he was going to give at their wedding.

Opal came back from the bathroom with wet hair and even a wetter t-shirt.

He had never thought someone could sigh with a tone of a tired parent without actually being a tired parent but Adam did.

"Let's get you in your PJs, sugarplum."

Ronan stared after Adam with his hands still in the sink. Matty stared at him.

"What?" he asked when he finally turned his gaze away from Adam and Opal.

"Nothing."

They watched Fast and Furious until Opal fell asleep on the floor and Ronan took her to bed. Matty said goodnight and went to his room, clean of dust and dirty clothes like every weekend he was staying at the Barns and that was it.

Matty woke up in the early morning hours and went down to the kitchen. Adam was there, making coffee, with a book in one hand.

"Ronan is out?" he asked, instead of a greeting.

"Nah," Adam said. "I let him sleep in today and fed the chickens earlier. He doesn't sleep that well still, you know. Coffee?"

There was a lot to unpack in those words so instead of doing that, Matty said, "Yeah."

Lynches were very good at not addressing the obvious, really.

And so were Adam.

They drank their coffee, Adam left their empty mugs in the sink when the stairs creaked.

Adam put the kettle on again.

Ronan came through the door, with a well-rested face but sleepy eyes, looking just the same way he used to look on Christmas morning. He smiled in an easy manner that had become uncommon for him over time and went straight for Adam, halting an inch or two before his face. Adam's lips quirked when he leaned in his direction.

"Had a good sleep?"

Ronan's arms wound around his waist and said, "The bed was cold."

And then he closed the gap and kissed him, with Adam's palm curling around his nape in one smooth move.

One of the things Matty remembered clearly about their parents, as a single entity and not two separate people, was how affectionate they were. Their mom had a soft touch that worked on almost anyone but especially on their father — he had melted under her hands, melted into long hugs, longs stares, long kisses.

So Matty tried to look at his coffee instead of at Ronan and Adam because this kiss did feel like watching your parents, with the second-hand embarrassment and the general confusion, and he hadn't been quite ready for that.

"Morning breath, babe," Adam said, between breaths.

Ronan's lips were just in the corner of his mouth.

"Don't care."

And then Ronan's hand was moving lower and lower on Adam's waist, lifting his t-shirt, until his fingertips were dipping into the elastic band of Adam's pajamas and—

Matty cleared his throat. This was way more than kissing and way more than he wanted to ever see.

Adam stepped away from Ronan, seemingly as awkward as Matty felt on the inside.

"Sorry, Matty," he said.

And then, in a manner that was very much alike their dad's, Ronan said. "I'm not sorry."

[angelkurenai]

Imagine Steve wanting to introduce you, his fiance, to his friends for a long time  but hesitating because he hasn’t told them something about your past and how you met. You were once his student.

“And then I tell him that if he wants 'em, he can come and have 'em since he knows my place. Simple as that. In what way, shape or form is that considered insulting? Pepper didn't let me hear the end of it!” Tony was sitting in the white couch, as expected, waved his hands animatedly; effectively earning everyone's attention in the room. More than one carefully eyeing the cup of coffee in his one hand, one of whom being the owner of the office and therefore said white couch.

“Tony” was however the only warning he got this time because, luckily for him, said owner was busy between his files and a chaos going on through his mind and heart. Mind due to work, mostly, and heart due to more personal issues both for good and less good reasons.

“And you think she's without reason?” Natasha raised an eyebrow at her friend.

“I think she's without reason to be so overdramatic. She's fussing over everything these days and I don't even want to think about the way she'll react when I tell her about the party. With all the guests and the preparations, and f course drinks I'll be the one to choose because Stark Industries owes this much to friends and colleagues, but I'm-” he paused, as if being striked by an idea – how not surprising – in the middle of his rambling. This time it was to look, or more specifically, glare at his friend wo didn't notice something was up until silence had set into the room.

“Rogers!” he nearly exclaimed, not a second after they'd made eye-contact, not tat it lasted long because Steve couldn't help but glance at his phone – you hadn't texted him all day and he wasn't clingy but that wasn't how it was between you two – much as he wanted to not look away from Tony because who knows what would be said his way or thrown.

“You're Rogers? Why, Tony, you are the fiance after all?” Clint joked, toying with a pencil as if it were a drumstick “And you got married without telling us too? Oh wow.”

“Oh I'd be a handful for him, trust me. We already argue too much for that but-” he jumped up from his seat as he stalked his friend's desk, eyes narrowed at him “That was exactly what I had in mind: Steve's wonderful fiance who has oh-so-accidentally missed every single party I've housed for the past year and a half. Now, I don't know how suspicious that makes you, because it certainly makes me very suspicious for good-boy Rogers here and I think that before any explanations, which you'll definitely have to give, is an answer to this-” he drew in a long breath “Will we be meeting future Mrs Rogers this time, Captain, or have you come up with another excuse to avoid this?”

“Alright-” Steve cleared his throat, subtly but certainly very uncomfortably shifting in his place “First of all, I haven't been coming up with any excuses. Those were real reasons and I have by no means been trying to avoid it. Timing wasn't right and it's not like you always warn me in advance for me to plan ahead of time, as if anyone could keep up with you. Not that he is anywhere near less busy herself, Tony.” he shrugged, not making eye-contact, as he placed back all of the folders in their respective drawers “Maybe next time you should plan ahead of time, maybe next time you should just make a phone call since you know I'm not that good with messages or emails or anything else. Maybe, just maybe, you should even reconsider altogether, this and every other time, since we've all got work to do and it would be better if we didn't have that too. I'm just-”

“Incredible.” Tony breathed out, loud enough to cut his friend off “Simply incredible. Does-” he turned to Natasha, pointing at Steve “Does Fury do that? Do new teachers, like, train on how to be spies? History teacher by morning, secret Agent by night. And hey, Captain America can be far from just your nickname now, Steve!” Tony exclaimed, throwing his arms in the air “No, I mean it-” tony continued when he noticed the look he got from his friend “That was simply so masterful, so skillful. Changing the subject so easily and not giving an answer to mine either, yet again, is incredible on a whole new level.”

“I didn't- I'm-” Steve blinked, losing any and every ability to form a proper sentence because truth be told he had expected to get away with that much once more and it seemed like every worry he'd had for the ast couple days – ever since Tony casually brought up that he needed to do another gathering after all this time – seemed to resurface and slowly make his worst nightmares seem all the more likely to happen in real life.

“There are no excuses, guys, I'm being honest. It simply has not come up yet, that's all. I assure you, she'd very much love to meet you too.” he said but for one reason or another he still couldn't meet anyone's eyes. Those weren't lies, he knew, but hiding the truth – the entire truth that he couldn't bear to be out with yet – wasn't by any means easier in any way.

“And that's why we're not blaming you for anything, nobody is. Right Tony? Right?” Bruce asked with a pointed look at the man who rolled his eyes and dramatically flopped back in his previous seat “We'd just like to, to put it in simple words, meet the newest member of the family. Or the member-to-be. You clearly love that woman and, based on what you say, she does too. We'd just... like to know her, welcome her properly no matter what.”

Steve couldn't say it out loud, not yet, but he would admit it to himself that those last three words gave him more hope than anything else. No matter what. He wished so bad they'd think the same, all of them, both now and especially after meeting you. It wasn't that he wasn't proud of you. He was the happiest man on Earth to be by your side, to have you say yes to a marriage with him was something out of his wildest dreams and yet it was happening, and he was certainly the most proud fiance already for everything you'd achieved. And nobody could even dare to question if he was in love with you because it was written all over his face, in the way he smiled and he brightened up when he spoke about you, that showed how much in love with you he was.

But none of it was enough to shake his worries away. Not the support he already had from is family, not the acceptance he always found in them and not even, sadly, how much of a catch you already were. All that paled in comparison to-

“Ah speak for yourself, Bruce. I'm gonna be showing up at your doorstep to drag the both of you out if I have to. So you-” Tony spoke up, and breaking Steve's trail of thoughts he pointed a finger at him “Prepare for everything. I'm going to find out more about her soon and yes, that means I expect to see you both at the party although you gave me no answer yet. You tell her or I'll send a personal invitation.”

“Well-” he cleared his throat, turning to face his friends “To be quiet honest, I have more pressing matters in my mind right now than your party Tony, I'm sorry for that.” only half a lie, because all of his problems lately had to do with said parties and meetings – which in reality stemmed from one issue: the way he'd introduce you to his friends and only family “And- Weren't we talking about a different topic here? I liked that one better than what my day and night activities are.”

“Oh I certainly am not interested to know about the nightly ones. Keeping your fiance satisfied is your business alone, Steve.” Natasha chuckled, speaking up at last “The beard speaks enough for itself.” that earned more than a few chuckles and a look from Steve “But even I have to side with Tony here on the fact that it's been really too long. When are we going to meet her at last?”

“I'm sorry, did you just agree with me? I'm having a hard time wrapping my mind around that. What is the date? Barton, not that down, quick!”

“Tony” Bruce chastised his friend who raised his hands in surrender once more.

“I never said that I didn't want you to meet her.” Steve said with a sigh “Nor that you are not going to meet her. You will, at some point, and no Tony I don't mean the wedding. You'll meet her sooner.”

“I bet you could avoid that too by not inviting me to it.” Tony snorted and despite everything, it earned a chuckle from everyone.

“Don't give me any ideas. Well-” he sighed again softly, relaxing more “It's only... it's more complicated than it and though I wish I could explain it all, I feel like I don't even know where to start sometimes. It's hard. It's not bad or sad or anything like that, I'm just-” he paused, eyebrows furrowed deeply “It's a mess, in my head. All of it. Then again, I think it has always been, I won't lie. But I will sort it out, sooner than later, I promise that. And you'll get to meet her. Right now is just- it's not the time.”

His words earned him warm smiles and nods, just like a soft hum. A moment of silence, content and understanding amongst longtime friends, even though he had mostly avoided giving a direct answer or dealing with the issue at hand, followed until-

“But what if... she's in prison?” Tony's eyes were trained on the floor but his words effectively earned a few groans and ended the peace that had settled “Was in prison? No, no, think about it. Maybe she's a serial killer and Steve here doesn't want us to know? Maybe, he helped her escape? Maybe he helped in the crime too!”

“Oh gosh, Tony.” Steve rolled his eyes, but couldn't help but laugh.

“Hey, you're not directly denying it. And you're avoiding eye-contact. Did I hit a nerve? I hit a nerve!” Tony pointed at him but Steve only shook his head “Now I really wanna meet her.”

“Says the man who called the actual president of the United States “sweetheart” because that's why Pepper didn't let you hear the end of it. You said “If you want 'em, you can come and have 'em since you know my place, sweetheart.” loud and clear.” Steve pointed out.

“Hey, they're my inventions, ok, I'm not about to hand them over. So you know what? I had every right to! What would you do capsicle?”

“Don't know what Steve would do, but I know what I will do now. And that's stop waiting.” Clint got up from his own seat, stretching “I have three kids and little time as you all know. When will Sam be done?”

“I think he only had five minutes left. I still don't know why they keep gym for the last class of the day.” Steve admitted with a sigh “But I do think that if he started heading for the door now, we'd find him there. Save him the trip to my office and then call Rhodey to tell the guys to get ready.”

“Sounds like a plan to me! Let's get started, this place is huge as it is, we'll probably meet him halfway.” Tony was the first one to copy his movement before they were all soon out of the office, no less in silence though at least for long “Speaking of which, you thought about that offer yet? It's no small thing being wanted by such a big university, can't compare to a high school. No matter how big or state-of-the-art it may be. Besides, hey, you could finally feel at home with all those 90-year-olds there.”

“While that would sound lovely, seeing as none of them would tease me about my lack of knowledge on technology like someone I know-” he gave his friend a side look, despite the smile on his lips “But still, no, I think there is something about SHIELD that I won't be able to find there. I have the Phds, I should be fine, but this school was helped build by your father, by my aunt for something great and that means a lot more. So for now, I think I'll stay.”

“Your choice. Can't say I blame you either.” Tony shrugged, hands in his pockets “I know we'd all miss you if you had to move to somewhere else, me included. Oh just thinking about it- Lots of manful tears.”

Steve's lips parted, ready to reply, only for his words to get caught in his lips. And it wasn't just the big lump in his throat that prevented him from breathing, it wasn't just his lungs burning with lack of oxygen or his dry mouth that made him feel sick. Sick with worry, he had gotten used over time. Sick with realization that this was it, having been caught unprepared at that, he didn't know if he could accept. If his body could ever comprehend it to begin with, because right now all it felt like was as if every organ was failing one by one and every cell in his body had frozen up; as he took the image of you at the other end of the hallway.

“(Y/n)?” he breathed out in horror, like he never had done before in his life. Possibly in his dreams, worst nightmares actually – hard as it would be to believe it when it came to you being in them. It wasn't you, nor because of you, but the rest of the situation. It was those exact gasps he heard that were responsible.

“That's (Y/n)?” it sounded as shocked as he had expected.

“You gotta be kidding me. Rogers' got that? I need to know what his secret is now!” another whisper.

“Ah, there he is!” Sam, who only now Steve realized you had been talking to, exclaimed.

For the second time in only a matter of second, Steve felt his body freeze in its place only for this time, only half a second later, to spring into action. When you turned to fully face him and he spotted the bandaged hand, the scratches on your forehead and the small drops of blood on your shirt, all of his worries turned into actual fear but for entirely different reasons. He actually exclaimed this time, eyes wide “(Y/n)!”

“I know, I know.” you sighed, approaching him with an apologetic smile “I didn't call and didn't give you a single warning about this. I'm really so sorry about this. If it was up to me I- I wouldn't be here but-”

“Wha- No, honey, no!” he breathed out hastily cupping your face in both his hands, trying to take in every little detail that was there and that was not ever since he last saw you in the morning “I'm not- I would never- This is blood, (Y/n), what happened?!”

“Oh oh! No, don't worry.” you placed your hands on his “It's- it's nothing major, just a scratch here and there, probably because I wasn't driving. Paul is fine too, though they took him to a hospital just to be sure. Honestly, the car's in a far worse condition than any of us, the accident wasn't that bad in itself but-”

“Accident?” he gasped “You were in a car crash? Sweetheart-” he paused for a moment, doing another check over with his eyes, lips parted as if he was ready to bombard you with questions about your state, advice on your well-being and so many things that he should do but you knew he was holding himself back only because you weren't alone. He could be as over protective as he wanted but truth was there didn't seem to be a real reason the more he looked at you. He took in a shaky breath and nodded his head slowly Are you sure? Maybe you should have gone with him too, get a couple of check ups just in case-”

“Steve, no, I swear I'm fine, darling. Believe me please.” you whispered, emphasizing on the words, as you fixed your fiance with a look that made him let out a small sigh before he nodded his head and kissed your forehead, moving to your cheek and then briefly your lips.

“Are you sure there is not something I can do though?” he dared whisper “Maybe you should have-”

“No. Steve, no.” you shook your head, giving him one final look as if to warn him that you weren't going to take any of it now “Now-” you let a soft breath, smiling up at him “I hope we established that I don't need any pampering, not at the moment at least. See, I wouldn't have come here if I hadn't forgotten my keys, though. My phone is definitely in pieces so I couldn't really let you know and I thought I'd stop by to get your keys before, well-” you stopped, looking over his shoulder before giving him a tight-lipped and certainly very apologetic smile “You know. But- yeah. Seems like my timing's just too shitty today.”

Your words did earn a laugh from your fiance, and he could see it in your eyes just how much you appreciated the sight of him relaxing, not that he had the chance to tell you so before Tony spoke up.

“Uh pretty sure doesn't like that kinda language!” he came closer, nowhere nearly subtly pushing his friend away to extend his hand towards you “I mean, he's all but an old man so it shouldn't be surprising. One would beg to wonder: Is dirty talking involved in it, or not? Tony Stark, by the way, and since you're here I think we'd finally get the question answered after all! So you are the fiance wow! (Y/n) (Y/l/n), what a pleasure to finally meet you! I've been coming up with all sorts of pictures of you in my head but let me tell you reality far exceeds every expectations! No wonder Rogers has been hiding you all along.”

“I-” you couldn't help but laugh a bit out of breath at his words, blinking in surprise at his rambling all in one breath “Well, let me tell you, you certainly live up to the image I had of you in my head, Mr Stark, and definitely all of Steve's descriptions.” you laughed, taking his hand “It's such a pleasure to finally meet you!”

“Please, Tony. Weird-” he glanced at Steve “I don't think I shared my performance in bed with Rogers.”

“Tony” Steve warned although you couldn't hold back your own laughter once more.

“What?” he asked in return “I'm just letting the woman know what's out there on the market in case she decides she needs to dump the capsicle and be a little more adventurous in life.” he added winking at you.

“Thank you, Tony, but-” you chuckled, noticed the way your fiance rolled his eyes, though there was too much playfulness in both of their demeanor to make it real or serious “I think after all these years, despite his quirks and habits that can drive me crazy, there's something called love. So I'll stick with him.”

“Oh he sure is a handful. But who am I to judge, some like them old.” he shrugged casually.

“But you're older than me!” Steve couldn't help but protest, almost sounding like a little child about to throw a tantrum. While it would have sounded funny, you couldn't help but notice the small crease in his brows that was always there when the topic came up. He was uncomfortable and even more self-consious about it, despite how much you'd always tried to reassure him that the age gap was never an issue for you.

“Alright, are you two quiet done or are we gonna have to witness you get at measuring it too?” Natasha spoke up there was a hint of exasperation in her voice that you couldn't help but understand if not completely relate to “Hi, name's Natasha and it's good to finally meet the woman that's got this guy with all those pounds of muscle wrapped around her little finger. It's quiet a show to watch, let me tell you. One way or another.” she grinned and you chuckled “Oh and here we have Bruce and Clint. Sam you've met.”

“Kind of a tough feat but I'm confident I'm doing well.” you smiled, nodding your head “It's great to meet you too Natasha, Bruce and Clint. You guys- I've heard so many stories with you, you have no idea how happy I am to finally be able to talk to you in person and get to know you. Though I hoped it was under different circumstances, I apologize for this.”

“Oh no, you don't have to apologize in the least bit. So long as you are alright, well, we're just glad to finally meet you too.” Bruce said with a gentle smile “We've been looking forward to knowing the woman that makes Steve so happy, even if it took some time. Which we can't understand because you're lovely.”

“Yeah, I uh- I know and I feel bad about that because-” you glanced at Steve who had put an arm around your waist, his breathing labor if not somewhat withheld, and you almost noticed his body had stiffened up as if he prepared himself for the worst “Well, I'm partially responsible. Work is taking up so much of my time and the few free hours I have, I try to spend with Steve and plan ahead of time. I've been told you've wanted us to both come to your parties-” you looked at Tony “And while the thought of beating Steve's ass at pool and sharing every detail, pardon, embarrassing detail of our first dates with you guys had been very tempting, I sadly had not been able to make it yet. Much as I'd love to get to know... the family.”

“Trust me, once you really get to know this family, you wish you hadn't. But you're just too sweet and innocent yet, so I won't ruin it for you.” Natasha chuckled “For now Steve's lucky. On every aspect.”

“I mean, hey, at least it is a better explanation than ex-serial-killer on the loose that Tony suggested. Not busy with prison either, I assume?” Clint shrugged as Tony exclaimed “Hey, it was a solid explanation.”

All you did was laugh “I'm not a serial killer, Tony, unless we consider my attempt at lasagna a murder. Come to think of it, the kitchen always ends up looking like a crime scene so who knows? But I haven't been in prison, either, not that I remember of at least. Right now being head of the museum is enough.”

“Smart, funny, sweet and incredibly beautiful- Rogers what is she even doing with you?” Tony teased.

His words earned a laugh from you and everyone else, managing to ease the tension. Or at least the tension that had set on Steve, because everybody else had been incredibly relaxed from the beginning including you, as much as it surprised him. Just some. He was not all that surprised to realize that they already adored you from the first five minutes of knowing you. He had had no doubt about it from the beginning. He was sure that charming them with a smile andmesmerizing them with your sweetness would be a piece of cake for you like everybody else you met, they loved you. Besides, he couldn't lie, that whatever the situation (car crash or not – even though he hated to think like that) were always radiant and as beautiful as ever and he'd always thank his luck for gracing him with a woman as stunning as you inside and outside. But taking pride in your wits and beauty that easily made his family adore you he couldn't really allow himself to fully accept it and relax. The small voice in the back of his head, even now as it saw that things were going so well – only one joke about the age difference, if any at all so far – he felt worry and fear. For what?

“And here I thought that the real kids would have left by now. Am I going to have to ask you all to enroll at some point or what? I can't seem to shake you guys off no matter wha-”

The voice was familiar somehow but your brain was slow at processing it, given everything that had and was happening, but the second your eyes fell on the man, well, there was no mistaking the face or the memories the came with it. Realization dawned on the man as well, obvious on his face as he trailed off.

“Mr Fury!” you breathed out with a smile and a laugh of disbelief at how little he had changed.

That.

“Well, I will be damned.” he grinned, as much as he ever would at least “Miss (Y/l/n), if this isn't a surprise!” you happily reached for his hand and shook it with a firm grip, a trait which he always appreciated in you “Came back to see if the building's still standing? As you can tell, much as our students have tried and would wish, both the walls and I are well standing. Again much to everyone's dismay. The arts class is right where you left it if you want to go check it, by the way.”

“Oh Mr Fury don't be like that. You're the best headmaster this place could get and, let's be honest, the only one who could handle the kind of kids in here without going insane.” you shrugged and he hummed in agreement nodding his head “Besides, you always had faith in everyone, whether you admitted it or not.”

He scoffed a laugh “Glad that at least in some cases I wasn't proven wrong.”

“Wait- you-” Tony blinked, raising a hand as to stop the conversation “I'm getting it all mixed up here. Fury, you know (Y/n)?”

You wouldn't even have realised if the sharp intake was real or not, much less coming from your fiance, if you weren't standing so close to him. You had naturally found your way back to his side and his hand had fallen on your waist, and when you felt a squeeze so fast and quiet intense, you understood that it was all him. And more than that, you saw the way he had stiffened up next to you, how he was holding his breath and his chest was puffed out. His eyes weren't nearly as wide but you could see an unspoken kind of fear in them that made your heart ache. This wasn't how you wanted it to go by any means, not on your first meeting of his family. Everything was going so well, you had gotten so exited and carried away that you had almost not realized it what it could mean to have Fury in front of you. Not until now. You didn't want it to be ruined for Steve but what could you do anymore? Stand and watch just like him, feeling more helpless was the only possible thing aside from hoping.

“Do I know her? I don't know Stark, there are some people I'd rather see once a month or even year because one can only take so much and forgetting them wouldn't sound so bad- If you know what I mean.” he gave him a look and for a moment you held your own breath. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad, maybe- “But, forgetting the brightest student to walk these halls ain't possible. And speaking of that, what brings you back after all this time (Y/n)?”

“Student?” it sounded like Natasha but you couldn't be sure over the sound of your own heart drumming.

“I uhm-” you cleared your throat, deciding to look as confident as possible for the sake of your fiance who as standing frozen in his place if not terrified “Yes, yes I was-” a soft laugh which you could proudly say sounded genuine “I was a student here almost six or seven years ago. Small world.” the came out as a whisper “And uh I was here because I had to see Mr Rog- Steve. I needed an uhm favor, of sorts. I'm sorry to disappoint but I won't be staying long, it's already been a long day for me and I need to head home.”

“Of coure.” he said but sadly for you that wasn't that, and feeling the tension in the room not only from Fury who studied the way you were so close but from the rest of Steve's friends who stood frozen in their place, faces blank but tha probably the worst kind of expression they could have on “But uh I didn't know you two kept in touch. What- what is Mr Rogers exactly to you?”

There is no mistaking the look the headmaster is giving you, the way his eyes narrow a bit, just like there is no mistaking the bit of knowing look in his eyes. Steve however, still very tense, chokes out in a lightly small and hoarse voice “Fiance.” he cleared his throat “(Y/n)'s my fiance.”

Fury's eyebrows rose but not with as much surprise as you'd have expected, not even that of having his current thought being verified. Maybe they weren't any current thought at all? Maybe the suspicion had not sparked this very moment to begin with.

“Well, then, what else can I say but congratulations!” he gave you a smile which you tried to return. Key word: tried. Steve was even more stiff next to you, unable to even try himself.

Before you get the chance to speak, it's another female voice this time that you also recognise “Fury, I have some stats I need you to see now befo- Oh, (Y/n)!” Maria smiled at you and you couldn't help but return it, until it almost froze in your lips because of her next words “What a pleasant surprise to see you here, you haven't changed at all! Not were it counts at least. Look at you, from high school girl to badass business woman. That's a glow up.”

She had always been friendly with you, the playfulness was to be expected, and her words were always what could make your day but at this very moment it felt like the exact opposite. You forced a smile nonetheless “Thank you Maria, it's great to see you too!”

“Right.” Fury cleared his throat, smirk evident on his lips “Well, as you can tell, work never ends for this old man. It's great to see you again (Y/n) and of course, congratulations once more.”

You were sure you murmured a soft “Thank you” but maybe it was only your lips moving as a reflex. You saw Maria give him a questioning look but what caught even more the attention was the grin he could barely hide as he turned to her and started speaking in a hushed tone.

Not that much registered anyway. The silence that followed, even for a couple seconds, felt deafening. Your heart seemed to be stuck in your throat as you simply waiting for something, anything.

“Honey.” it was Steve that spoke up, drawing your attention as he placed the keys in your palm “You're tired and you've been through enough for today. Go home and I promise I'll be there shortly afterwards. I'll say a quick hello and then I'll be with you, no more than an hour.”

“Steve” you protested in a low voice, looking up to meet his eyes. You weren't protesting at him cutting his day out with his friends short, although you definitely wanted to fight him about that because you were perfectly capable of taking care of yourself. You were protesting at him taking it all upon himself, doing the explanation and what not. You felt like you had to be there to, that you needed to stand by his side and defend your relationship, even in front of his friends.

“No” he shook his head, clearly reading the meaning behind your words “Go. I'll be fine.” he whispered in your ear before kissing your temple “Go”

You tried to fight him a bit longer, silently at least, but his pursed lips and firm eyes told you that he's not having it. With a heavy sigh you nodded your head and he let go of your face. You put on a smile and turned to his friends “It was... great meeting you guys. I hope I'll see you again soon in... better circumstances. That we could get to talk more.”

“Anytime.” Natasha says with a warm smile that's almost friendly and accepting and you wish to believe it.

Sharing goodbyes with the rest of the group, you reluctantly walk away despite the urge to linger close if only to at least hear what they're going to say. Not... that you'd have to.

“Steve, you absolute little sneaky shit!” Tony exclaims, not even trying to keep quiet as he laughs “Alright, alright, now you seriously have to teach me how you do that! Your secret- Tell us your secret, there has to be one! My, I never thought I'd say this to freaking Cap of all people but I need your tips now!”

His words were followed by more laughter, easy and calm as Natasha spoke up again “Really, Steve, that's the reason whyyou didn't want us to meet her?” she raised an eyebrow and Steve tried to stutter out words but nothing coherent was said, not as he stared dumbfounded at his friends “You realize that there is nothing you should feel ashamed about, right? She was your student, alright, but as long as you both leg- Wait, you both were, right?”

Steve's eyes widened “No, Nat- It's not-” he blinked before shaking his head “When any of it happened she was very much legally an adult. Nothing could have ever happened if she was not. I would never-”

“Lies!” Tony gave him a look “That's absolute bullshit, Rogers. Nobody believes it. Come on, teacher- student relationship is already out there, start admitting the rest of it!”

“That's the truth, Tony.”Steve rolled his eyes “I'm not hiding anything else besides-”

“Not the one I chose to believe, no. Doesn't have as much spice as I'd like and we've already established that you have dirty secrets, I'm set on discovering it all if I have to. In fact-” he got his phone out “How much do you think a lie detector takes to build up from scratch? I could always order but-”

“Maybe... you were right to want to hide it after all.”

“Not all of us could have a mature reaction when some of us are not even close to... mental adolescence.”

[henryspearl]

7. exhausted parents kiss prompt?

Hey!! Sorry this has taken so long. I finally found motivation for the perfect piece to match this prompt!

At last. Callum let out a relieved sigh as he rested his hands against the side of the wooden cot as he peered down at his baby boy who was sleeping soundly. Although both Callum and Ben had spent hours trying to settle their nine month old son as he was going through the teething stage and was trying everything to get him to go to sleep, Callum could not stop the soft smile that pulled at his lips. His precious baby Freddie looked so peaceful as he curled up in his cot with a fluffy cosy pale blue blanket, laying on his side and sucking his thumb continuously. Callum hated to hear Freddie cry. He could only wish that he could take the pain away. But now he is fast asleep, letting his imagination run wild in whatever dreams babies have, it was like Freddie was never in pain or unhappy at all. 

Callum reached out towards the toy monkey that was sat in the corner of the cot and laid it nearer to Freddie to make sure that he could reach out and grab it without making a fuss, hopefully. God forbid if Freddie had to sleep without his monkey. One time when Phil babysat while Ben and Callum were on date night, Ben had forgotten to pack the toy monkey in Freddie’s bag and Freddie practically screamed the Mitchell house down. This resulted in them having to quickly grab the bill at the Chinese restaurant they were dining at and rush back to fetch their son. The perfect date.

Callum ran the back of his index finger down Freddie’s smooth cheek, instantly feeling warm inside at the touch of his baby’s skin against his finger. “Sleep tight mate,” he whispers gently, careful not to wake him before silently padding across the nursery making sure that the night light is switched on before turning off the main light. Callum could see through the curtains how the dark blue of night was slowly toning down to a lighter shade. 

Callum rubbed his eye feeling mentally and physically drained as he entered the main bedroom to find Ben in their bed with no top and one of his legs that was dressed in navy shorts, poking out of the duvet. He was sleeping lightly because as soon as Callum closed the bedroom door, his eyes jolted open.

“He’s finally asleep,” Callum says groggily, as he makes his way across to the bed and practically falls into the covers. 

“Ah well done babe,” Ben commends, tucking his body back into the duvet. He rubbed his hands over his face and let out an exasperated sigh, “Tell you what, I’m so glad that we don’t have Lex tonight, last thing I would want is to drive her to school because she hardly got any sleep and didn't get up on time.”

“Yeah,” Callum smiled thoughtfully as he nestled the back of his head in his pillow, still not quite believing that the little girl who danced to Little Mix with her dad was now in her last year of primary school. “Although with Lex, it’s any excuse really so she doesn’t have to walk these days.” He let out a soft chuckle. 

Ben scoffed humorously, “Yeah.” 

Ben looked over to find Callum looking ahead sadly, like he was in a daze. “You alright?” 

Callum shrugged, “Yeah I’m fine, I just hate to see him in pain you know, and I can’t do anything about it.” He admits, looking down and playing with his fingers aimlessly.

Ben quickly reached out and grabbed hold of the hands that Callum held together, “Hey, you’re an amazing dad. Freddie’s lucky to have ya. Lexi’s lucky to have ya.  I’m lucky to have ya,” he swallowed.

“Oh so you finally agree on how lucky you are,” Callum’s eyes glint with playfulness. Callum’s expression turns warm and soft and loving, he is looking at Ben like he could not be more in love with this man even if he tried. Ben was truly the love of his life. “You’re an amazing dad too, Ben. The best.” 

“I wouldn’t say the best,” Ben chuckled, his cheeks tingeing a slight shade of pink. “You seem to forget that I didn’t bring Lexi up from birth, not even when I came out of prison, I left it all to Lola until Lexi was 5.” 

“Yeah but you have been there for her since,” Callum reminded him softly. “Lexi adores you, she’s a right daddy’s little girl.”

Ben smiled sadly, “That will always be one of my biggest regrets you know,” he confides in Callum, the only person who he can lay his flaws out on the table to and knew he would never judge him. “Not being there when Lexi was a baby. I thought she would be better off without me. After my friend Abi died, it changed me and I wanted to be there and be a part of Lexi’s life. I wanted her to have a dad. The day I got shot and thought I was going to die…”

“Don’t talk about that,” Callum cut in hastily, the experience still cutting through him painfully at the thought of all the potential missed chances he could have had with Ben if he had died. 

“Sorry,” Ben smiled timidly. “Anyway, I thought even if I died or say one day if I got hit by a bus, at least Lexi would know that she had a dad who loved her with all his being and was there for her until the end.” 

“And Lexi does know that, and so does Freddie,” Callum tells him, running his fingers through Ben’s short brown hair. “Even though he’s a baby and has only just managed to say the word dadda.” 

“I bet Freddie loves you more though,” Ben adds playfully, “with all the creative snacks you make him shaped as animals and the Teletubbies.” 

Callum smiles. It’s a tired smile but he cannot help but smile brilliantly, his dimples evidently on display. “I don’t think that’s true, don’t think I don’t hear you sing to him when you don’t think I hear when I’m in the shower or upstairs or in the kitchen.” 

Ben blushes furiously bright pink and coughs distractedly, “I think it’s time we got some sleep now,” he says quickly and shuffles under the covers to get comfortable. “Baby sleeps, we sleep remember.” He turns to look over at the digital clock that is sat at the bedside table. “And I have to be up in 2 and a half hours,” he winces painfully. 

“I’ll make you coffee in a big thermal mug to go,” Callum confirms. “And I’ll run you a bubble batch and book in an early night for when you get home.” 

A lovingly wide smile falls on Ben’s lips, still not quite believing that this man laying beside him was his, forever. He leans forward and despite the tiredness looming heavily over his eyelids, plants a kiss on Callum’s lips, drowning in them and he kisses with nothing but pure devotion. It was the perfect kiss between exhausted parents where Ben had to force his lips to part. 

“You certainly know the way to my heart, Highway,” Ben smiles happily, looking up into Callum’s stunning blue eyes. 

Callum smiles, lifting his left hand up and wriggling his fingers. A silver wedding band was shining proudly on his ring finger, “Highway-Mitchell.” He emphasises.

Ben felt his heart skip leaping, welcoming that warm fuzzy feeling inside that feels like home, which you only feel when you are madly and utterly besotted with your husband. He lifts his left hand up and slots it in Callum’s hand, fitting perfectly like a missing piece of a jigsaw, like it was always meant to be there. Ben’s wedding band was shimmering alongside Callum’s, connecting like a magnet, a significant bond fizzing like fireworks that can only be exchanged between two soulmates.

“Always darlin’.”

[crazy4dragons]

Satisfied

Astrid is feeling too unsexy to have sex for the first time since having her baby, but she’s more than happy to satisfy Hiccup. Smut. Rating: M. Like Heaven AU.

Hiccup pulled Astrid on top of him as he hooked his thumbs into the hem of her bottoms. “Damn, I’ve missed this,” he murmured, leaning in for a sloppy kiss while sliding down both her leggings and panties at once.

“Same,” mumbled Astrid, tongue tangling with Hiccup’s. She reached for his boxers.

“I got it.” Flipping them over so that he was on top, he pulled off the garment, then tugged Astrid’s bottoms off the rest of the way. He moved down to kiss her cleavage as he reached behind her back and toyed with her bra clasp.

Astrid sat up. “Babe,” she panted, breathless from kissing him.

“What?” Hiccup pulled away.

“I want to leave my bra on.” Upon seeing the disappointment on Hiccup’s face, which he quickly tried to hide, she added, “If that’s okay.”

“Yeah, uh…of course.” Hiccup shrugged.

She ran her hands over his abs as she struggled not to look at her own stomach, which hadn’t yet gone back to the way it was before pregnancy. Then she thought of how big her thighs had gotten, and realized that she couldn’t remember the last time she’d cleaned up down there. Definitely before the baby arrived, that was for sure.

“You okay?” Hiccup asked, taking her hands in his.

“Can I…can I just finish you off? I’m not…I’m not really craving this.” She bit her lip.  

He frowned. “Are you sure you’re okay?” He climbed off of Astrid and, settling down beside her, pulled the sheets over them.

Astrid silently toyed with the corner of the sheets.

“Hey, I’m not mad. You have the right to say no if you don’t want sex. I guess I’m just…well, surprised. You know, since you’ve been talking about it for a few weeks now.”

She sighed. “It’s not that I don’t want it. It’s that I don’t feel sexy.” She took a deep breath. “I’m lying here almost naked, and all I can think about is how fucked up my body is.”

“We can turn the lights out if you want. I mean, I’m always happy to see you naked, but I understand —”

“I don’t care about you seeing me naked,” interrupted Astrid. “That’s not what bothers me. What bothers me is feeling so…unsexy.” Shifting, she rested her hand on Hiccup’s bare chest and leaned against his arm.

He kissed the top of her head and hugged her middle. “And what can I do to help you feel more sexy?”

“Nothing, really.” She sighed. “It’s just hard to feel sexy after pushing a baby out of my body. I have extra flab on my stomach, stretch marks everywhere, and my boobs are still big and heavy.”

“I don’t mind big boobs on you,” grinned Hiccup.

“But I do. Do you realize how huge they’ve gotten? I wore a B-cup back before the baby, and now I’m a D. And not a cute, perky D, either. On top of that, my nipples are the size of saucers. I hate it.”

“Listen, Ast. I know I’ve lovingly teased you about your boobs getting big, and I’m sorry if I made you think I was laughing at you. I promise I was laughing with you.”

“No, you didn’t make me think that. You’re my best friend, and we were both laughing about how damn huge they are. We wouldn’t be best friends if we couldn’t laugh about stuff like this together.”

Rolling onto his side, Hiccup eyed her cleavage. “I get that, but I’m also your husband, and if you need me to be more of a loving husband than a fun best friend…” He trailed off and leaned in for a kiss.

“I want you to be both,” she said as they pulled apart.

“Alright,” he grinned. “But right now, what do you want? We could put our clothes back on and watch a movie.”

Astrid reached for her panties and Hiccup’s t-shirt. “I’m gonna sleep in this tonight. But you can stay naked if you want. I wouldn’t complain.” She slipped on the clothes. “I just wish I could be comfortable at night without this bra, but I’m still making milk like a damn yak and the last thing I need is to have my boobs leaking all over.” She groaned. “I don’t even know if you’ll ever want to suck my nipples again after this.”

“I’ll gladly suck your nipples anytime,” smirked Hiccup as he pulled on his boxers. “Hell, I’d do it right now if you wanted.”

The blonde wrinkled her nose and frowned. “You’d get an unwelcome surprise if you did it now.”

“Hey, it wouldn’t bother me.” He hugged her waist. “I’m down for whatever you’re in the mood for.”

“Right now I’m in the mood for a good cuddle and a couple hours of sleep before Finn wakes up for his midnight snack and diaper change.” Astrid pecked his lips. “Unless you need me to…” Smirking, she nodded towards his crotch.

“I’m not gonna make you if you don’t want to.”

“I want to, babe. Just because I’m not in the mood for an orgasm doesn’t mean I don’t want to give you one.” She ran her palm down his bare chest and slowly traced the trail of hair below his navel.

“Well, since you insist,” he grinned, kissing her nose.

Astrid dipped her fingers into the hem of his boxers and stroked the dark hairs.

Hiccup closed his eyes and let out a happy sigh.

“You like that?” she asked, still teasing his pubic hair.

“Mmm-hmm.”

Climbing on top of him, she slowly slid down the boxers to his knees and cupped his balls.

Hiccup bit back a moan.

“You know, babe, you’re allowed to be noisy.”

“I prefer to lay low,” breathed Hiccup, reaching over to tug on Astrid’s braid. “I’m not a screamer like you.”

“Babe,” she scolded, massaging his balls with one hand while taking his erection into her fist with the other.

“Come on, Astrid. You know you’re loud. Back when we were roommates, I always knew when you were masturbating because I’d hear you grunting and moaning. Then there was that time you screamed in the shower.”

“And you didn’t let me live it down for weeks.” She flicked the tip of his penis with her tongue. “But in my defense, I didn’t know you were home.”

“I’ll admit, I got myself off to the image of you dripping wet and naked, rubbing yourself.” He groaned as she stroked his length and drew the sensitive tip between her teeth. “I mean, I knew what you looked like naked by then, so it was easy to picture.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t have seen me naked,” shrugged Astrid. “Not like it mattered.” She gently nibbled on him, causing a gasp to fall from his lips. “In the end we fucked each other anyway.”

“Mmm-hmm.”

She swirled her tongue around his tip before sliding it into her mouth and sucking.

He guided one of her hands back to his balls.

Astrid squeezed gently while sucking harder on his erection.

“Mmm, Astrid…I’m gonna…I’m gonna finish in just a…” He broke off with a gasp as his seed spilled inside her mouth.

Swallowing, Astrid grabbed a tissue from the bedside table and began wiping the sticky combination of saliva and semen from his softening penis. “There you go, babe. Feel better now?” She asked as she pulled his boxers back up and snuggled in beside him.

“Very much, thank you,” panted Hiccup. He pressed a sloppy kiss against her cheek and touched his nose to hers.

“Anytime, hun.” Turning off the lamp, she nestled against his chest and smiled as he hugged his waist. “Damn, I love you, babe,” she mumbled.

“Right back at you,” Hiccup said, squeezing her tighter.

[annisnothere]

BINJIN’s Synastry

Posting it here on tumblr for a more comprehensive take on their synastry, because 280 characters on twitter and twenty tweets isn’t enough <3 these are only aspects since we have no idea what their birth time is!

Hyun Bin’s Sun (Libra) trines Son Ye Jin’s Venus (Aquarius), Son Ye Jin’s Sun (Capricorn) trines Hyun Bin’s Venus (Virgo)

This aspect is basically having mutual support in each other. They share the same, if not similar, perception and common ground that helps them get along. Both of them may have felt an instant connection. His identity, which thrives on social settings, compliments her friendly and eccentric outlook on love, while her capable and persevering identity attracted his analytical take on romance.

Hyun Bin’s Sun (Libra) trines Son Ye Jin’s Mercury (Aquarius), Son Ye Jin’s Sun (Capricorn) squares Hyun Bin’s Mercury (Libra)

The both of them mentally stimulate each other. He admires how rational and objective she can be, yet she might find him superficial because his thoughts and opinions are too diplomatic for her. She might want to challenge him with being much more assertive.

Hyun Bin’s Sun (Libra) conjuncts Son Ye Jin’s Mars (Libra), Son Ye Jin’s Sun (Capricorn) semi squares Hyun Bin’s Mars (Sagittarius)

Both of them are highly sexually attracted to each other. Her sexual expression that mainly revolves through negotiation and foreplay fits his identity, and she may see him as an ideal partner. She might deem him a bit adventurous for her taste but the sex will be intense nonetheless (*ast and *steam i hope you don’t know tumblr).

Hyun Bin’s Sun (Libra) sextiles Son Ye Jin’s Uranus (Sagittarius)

Here they do not have the pressure of being reduced to the shadow of the other, and can stand alone just fine. He finds her very exciting and stimulating as a person, and she’ll do things that will spice up their relationship. There’s going to be constant changes happening.

Hyun Bin’s Sun (Libra) squares Son Ye Jin’s Neptune (Sagittarius)

She might promise more than what she could give to him. This is an aspect where both of them had felt like they have found the one, especially on his part, but his thoughts are very hazy. He might feel a bit of mistrust because she can be a bit evasive because she doesn’t want to hurt him. His savior complex might come in when she has a problem.  

Hyun Bin’s Moon (Capricorn) squares Son Ye Jin’s Mars (Libra), Son Ye Jin’s Moon (Leo) trines Hyun Bin’s Mars (Sagittarius)

Let me get this out of my chest. This is a baby making aspect because this aspect increases fertility and that they might talk about having babies together. At first she might have been feisty towards him as a way of teasing because of his rigidness, which made him go back a few steps, but as soon as he becomes comfortable towards her he banters back. Then, the sparks fly (Lots of sex too pls calm down). He’s very protective of her kind of like in a Twilight-esque way, and she gives him the emotional connection that she wants.

Hyun Bin’s Moon (Capricorn) conjuncts Son Ye Jin’s Neptune (Sagittarius)

Wow they might have that psychic connection with each other or something because this aspect basically says that both of them are in tune with each other’s emotions. Because of this, it gives off a feeling of attachment to each other even if they are apart. 

Hyun Bin’s Moon (Capricorn) sextiles Son Ye Jin’s Pluto (Libra)

This makes them confide in each other and have these intense feelings that are greatly welcomed by the two of them. Its a really passionate relationship. As he tends to keep emotions to himself, he confides in her, and she soothes his inner emotional problems. Man she hates it when he’s sad. He understands her inner turmoil. (Aspect goals honestly)

Hyun Bin’s Mercury (Libra) trines Son Ye Jin’s Venus (Aquarius)

She probably loves his voice so much lol I mean, Mercury Libras are very flirty with words. I think because of this aspect, both of them might become a bit more understanding on their difference when it comes to expressing love.

Hyun Bin’s Venus (Virgo) squares Son Ye Jin’s Neptune (Sagittarius)

This is a good aspect for them, but to the eyes of others, it can be unstable. Both of them may have delusional thoughts (especially him). I guess knowing how and where to draw the line between them needs to happen because they might sabotage each other in the end.

Hyun Bin’s Venus (Virgo) sextiles Son Ye Jin’s North Node (Cancer)

Instant attraction. They might have been fated to meet. Everything seemed to fall into place perfectly and they really get along. This relationship has them learning a lot of lessons. 

Hyun Bin’s Venus (Virgo) trines Son Ye Jin’s Chiron (Taurus)

TBH, the 3-degree orb (difference in degrees between planets) of this might have lessened the effects of this aspect, but I’m still putting this out of hope. Healing within each other will be the major theme that revolves around this aspect, and can be a common aspect in marriage. 

Hyun Bin’s Mars (Sagittarius) sextiles Son Ye Jin’s Venus (Aquarius)

There’s that playful banter we see and both of them satisfy each other well romantically and sexually. She is very attracted towards him, and he makes her feel like a woman. They might be compelled to touch each other frequently.

Hyun Bin’s Mars (Sagittarius) conjunct Son Ye Jin’s Uranus (Sagittarius)

LOL I’m convinced they were probably interested in each other early on because this is fairly intense in a way that its out of the norm. They’re experimental when it comes to sex, and she finds him very hot.

Hyun Bin’s Jupiter (Scorpio) square Son Ye Jin’s Moon (Leo)

Honestly this aspect is nice because they both hype each other up but then they might not see the relationship if it ever goes down to a negative state. They feel their feelings in a much more heightened state. Its like when one offends the other, the offended can feel hurt more that what they have expected.

Hyun Bin’s Jupiter (Scorpio) Square Son Ye Jin’s Venus (Aquarius)

He might spoil her, and the feelings they share is a bit too on the nose for people (look at how the media already guessed in their movie tours). They laugh together a lot and would probably laugh during sex. I think it’s nice if they don’t over indulge but they’re rich so i guess its fine.

Hyun Bin’s Saturn (Libra) squares Son Ye Jin’s Sun (Capricorn)

If I’ll be honest, this is a very difficult aspect, as he might nag and be critical of her and she might feel discouraged about it. It’s that feeling when you have someone you impress, but the other person isn’t. There’s this teacher student relationship being reflected. On a positive note, this aspect is common in married couples. Squares are meant to be friction and challenge that a couple must go through and with maturity and all the other good aspects they have, then they’ll last long.

Hyun Bin’s Saturn (Libra) square Son Ye Jin’s North Node (Cancer)

This is like, a tie between them, because north node is ultimately your purpose, yet it squares the planet that serves as glue in the relationship. Its like they will still cross each other’s paths even if they break up. This is a long term relationship aspect, and usually from what I’ve read people with this aspect go through on-off situations but they ultimately go back together.

Hyun Bin’s Uranus (Sagittarius) trines Son Ye Jin’s Moon (Leo)

This is the best friends and lovers aspect, because they get each other well. There’s this feeling of comfort coming from her towards him and it makes him easier to open up with her because of how “fun” the leo moon is.

Hyun Bin’s Pluto squares Son Ye Jin’s Sun (Capricorn)

It’s intense and attractive, but it may cause power trips from the both of them if they don’t know how to yield for each other. Then again, they have certain lighter aspects which makes it better for them to slow down and compromise.

Hyun Bin’s North Node (Cancer) square Son Ye Jin’s Mars (Libra)

In this one his purpose had squared with her ability to take action, which can lead to conflict. However, they are compelled to work on this action and he will guide her to harness that action to her own purpose as well as what both wanted.

In general Binjin is that couple who clearly couldn’t get enough of each other, and it can either be their asset or their downfall. Keeping a realistic outlook on the dynamics of their relationship will gladly help the longevity of their relationship. He is the forgiving one, she’s the understanding one. When their birth times fall into an easy place then it can be easier to solve problems like these. 💖

[popculturebuffet]

Green Eggs and Ham: “Train” Review or A Little Better Now (Patreon Review for Emma Fici)

Hello you happy people and all aboard! We’re back on the Green Eggs and Ham Train for a Train themed episode. Train. As you can tell I like trains... admitely I don’t see enough episodes et on them and I don’t buy books or obess on them but I like the idea of a train, the comfort, the use of a mode of travel that was once common but is now simply used on occasion with the dawn of air travel, and it confining our heroes to a smaller space with limited room to move. it’s good stuff. I even tolerae the band train... I mean yes their music is okay at best, but the lyrics.. are wonderfully delightfully insane. Who else would use a garbage bag as a genuine romantic metaphor?

When last we left off things ere a bit ehhhhhhhhhhh: Sam went from delightfully quirky with some issues ot adress to annoying, and Michelle went from kin dof a bitch ot ENTIRELY THAT BITCH. Outside of Guy’s mental breakdown/heatstroke episode involving hallucinations of green eggs and ham, yes that did in fact happen, it wasn’t much to write home about and I worried the series simply had a good PILOT but the series itself wasn’t going to be fun sit through. 

If I was right or I was rilla.. will have to wait till after the cut. But first as always i’d like to thank the person who payed for this episode Emma Fici. Emma is one of my closest friends and one of two patreon patreons. If you’d like a reivew of your choice eveyr month guarnateed, then please hop over to patreon.com/popculturebuffet and back me at the 5 dollar level. You also get access to my exclusive discord where I ocasoinally post about work in progress stuff and tlak to my falns, to pick a short any time I do one and EXCLUSIVE review, as well as helping me hit my stretch goals. So line up, sign up then join me under the cut. 

So we pick up where we left off with Guy hurtling into a lake. Eh I dunno i’ve heard being naked ina  lake is pretty neat. 

All you’d have to do is take off the hat and your there. But Sam saves him wiht the weird train of hats he put at the end of the car for some reason, and our heroes are saved.. but down a vehicle. Oh and Sam’s vehiclular neglgence costs a bunch of fish their home.

And our heroes are without a car and Guys at the end of his rope with Sam.. I mean granted he’s been there since he met the guy but it’s down to like the tiniest thred, not helped by Sam casually stealing his wallet to pay for train tickets depsite Guy , UNDERSTANDABLY, not wanting to hang out with the guy who has stolen with him, gotten him implicate din animal trafficing and dosen’t really respect personal space. Also it’s taken me embarassingly long to remember Micheal Douglas played my boy Hank Pym in the Ant Man and the Wasp films. Seroiusly I don’t know HOW I forgot that, him being aged up and thus unable to do ANY of the things he is constnatly denied credit for in canon (Founding the avengers, being the first ant man.. and the first goliath and the first yellow jacket and the first giant man.. and the only doctor pym...).. but instead the film kept his troubled nature and ego, but removed the domestic abuse (which is something I will not go into but needless to say the comics version went above and beyond to try and make up for that and redeem himself soley because it was the right hting to do) and by making im older still gav ehim a roll as Scott’s mentor. What i’m getting at is I freaking love Hank Pym and I could’ve been making hank pym jokes for several episdoes now. That’s a mistake I itned to recitfy.. right away as Guy looses his suitcase as a result of it and whie he lcaims not to be bothered his voice says otherwise. Eh i’m sure the world can wait for ultron Guy. 

So anyway, Guy reluctantly agrees to the train travel idea and being parked across from Sam on the grounds he has no real other options. Meanwhile the BAD GUYZ.. and i’ve also decided to drop spoilers as the series is two years old, most people reading this have probably seen the series, and it makes analysis rough when I have to dance around spoilers. So yeah the BAD GUYZ aren’t villians.. kind of a dickhead on the blue guys part, but not EVIL. They figure out their going by train it’s a whole thing.

ON the train we run into michelle again...

Yeahhh for the first half she’s as inusfferable as she was the last two episodes and it lead me to believie the rest of the series was going to be constant suffering as she’d be in every episode, likely because they DID get Diane Keaton for this and you don’t waste Diane Keaton. You just don’t. But while they got their money’s worth in having her on screne wise they just..w asted her for the first 2 and a half episodes: Michelle is a judgemental, unpleasnt suffocating bitch and it’s going to take a lot , even if this episode helped, to make me truly like her as a person. 

Case in point her first two scenes this episode are just.. dragging her daughter past a play place uncarring about her feelings because while I DO get she cares about her child’s saftey and is terrified afte rloosing her husband.. it dosen’t EXCUSE her actions. It dosen’t forgive her locking her daughter up constanlty, not talking to her like a human being and oh yeah PUTTING A FUCKING LOCK ON HER SHE CAN CONTROL.  I mean my god I don’t think they INTENDED for her to come off as abusive as she does, and i’ve seen far worse inteitonally and untietionally, but it’s still not remotely plesant. There is a larger issue baked into that the episode brings about, but we’ll get to that. 

And naturally at breakfast.. she procedes to top herself. ONCE AGAIN she treats guy like trash as guy UNDERSTANDABLY didn’t want to talk to her after her previous layers of bullshit which, just as a refresher, involved insulting his invention constnatly (even if it turned out ot be dangerous she did not know that till the last second) then refusing to help a man BAKING in the desert and mocking him to his face. 

So yeah unsuprisingly instead of you know, APOLOGIZING for that episode or anything else she mocks him again and calls him sad. I just.. I get they were trying to have her come off as a jerk and then slowly develop.. but you can’t overdue the jerk part. It has to be juts the right amount and if it is this much there has to be a commpuance. There is none as far as I can tell because god is a spiteful two faced prick. 

So naturally Sam forces the two parties together, and orders green eggs and ham for everyone, except guy who refuses. We do get a really great bit though as EB turns down the idea and we get a tremendous rant from Micheal Douglas as he talks about how a girl in his clash, veyr likely just him, got a rash from tring new things and you shouldn’t and to watch out for the scarlet beetle he’ll steel your ants and try to conquer your planet and is not a guy in a costume but in fact an actual beetle. EB naturally tries it. 

We get a brief interlude with Snerz that’s funny enough: he outright calls his visotrs flunkies, they enter to the song money, and his minon throws dollar bills at their feet. I imagine this is what visitng Mar a Largo is like. They turn up his noses until he mentions getting a chickarffe for his animal crutelty wall. And i’m torn about Snerz. On one hand he can be generally entertaining in his dickery.. but ont he other I do question why he’s in EVERY episode. We don’t NEED him in eveyr one and I feel he’s only in them because Eddie Izzard was expensive so they had to get him as a regular to justify the cost. We really DONT’ need this scene funny as it is and it adds nothing so far. Maybe i’m wrong and these guys end up being important. I don’t know. 

So yeah so far this episode was miserable getting through and I expected it to be another long sit... I was wrong. The second half.. is really damn good and reminded me why I liked this series so much. No really. We get two stories,both really good following one half of each pair teaming up. As for why their split Guy is annoyed with Sam, as well as dosen’t want him letting the chickaraffe out because you know lots of people dosen’t want ot go to jail and leaves to find a quiet place to work on watching paint dry while Michelle tucks a sleeping EB in, her first really truly humanizing moment, which should NOT have taken three episodes but hey, i’ll take it, and goes to find the same.

So starting with Sam and EB, naturally Sam takes all of a minute to let his buddy out and it gets loose on top of the train. EB hears the familiar sound and gives chase and the two meet properly. After Sam covers for his buddy and realizes the creature is asleep in his car safe now, he properly talks to EB and we get a truly magical sequnece: The two talk with Sam whoelheartdly supporting her free spirit and finally giving the girl what she badly needed: someone who treated her not as something to be tied down but you know.. a child who just wants some expression and as she literally lets her hair down, It’s truly adorable and it just has a magical quanitity as they enjoy the beautiful view from the train top. 

Granted this takes at urn later when EB brings up her mom, and Sam.. supports her mom, pointing out she’s just looking out for her.. which she is but in a deeply unehalthy way and I don’t like the show just.. brushing over Michelle’s terrible actions because “she’s her mom”. But it’s also hard to tell if they are: Sam’s mom left him as we’ll find out, so he likely colors his memories of her rosey and simply envys EB still HAVING hers. It’s not BAD stuff but I don’t like a work saying “You should love your family just beacause your related”. Instead of because they lovea nd support you and if they dont’ love you or treat you remotely well or don’t give an ass about you fuck them. Thankfully I DO love my family and have no issues with them, my immediate family at least, but i’ve had friens with downright abusive or neglectful parents. It’s not that black and white. Ducktales also hammered in the family theme but was transparent in how it can me messy, harm each other and that it took true love and consideratoin for it to work at it’s core. 

It’s still not a terrible scene and what comes next is neat as earlier it was shown the train has loops, because Seussworld, and now that’s a problem because their on top of it. Michelle’s jail braclet thing ends up coming in handy the first loop, as while she can’t unstick it means she and sam can suririvie it. They do get it loose, turns out the password was indeed password, because of course, and they end up narrowly suriving a roller coaster bit of track, with the help of MR. Jenkins who I can finally name because EB names her in the next scene. Understanding her need for a pet, Sam deputizes her, and gets her back in bed in time for the next plot. 

Speaking of which winding back a bit as these two go back and forth, Guy goes through two rather hilarious cars: First a bath car that has a bubsby berkely style water number and then a model train car.. with the train on the track showing guy watching guy watchin gthe train etc. 

It’s great. Guy ends up finding the quiet car.. and Michelle. And in her first scene of acting like a human being and not if julie powers was a soccer mom, Michelle, while standosfish as usual, not only unites with guy to shush a loud guy in the car, but is genuinely apricative when Guy helps her get her place back, she was doing some literal bean counting. 

The two genuinely hit it off, first with some adorable silent bits and then by talking, with Michelle appreciating his now safer job and warming up to him. Keaton and Douglas have GENUINE chemestry and it annoys me itt took the series this long to use that instead of wasting Diane Keaton on being 

It’s really great stuff and i’m actually rooting for the two.. once she gets her shit together obviously. Guy does make the mistake of lying abotu knowing about the chikcaraffe.

This ends up being bad as he finds out EB knows the next day and after she leaves the car RIGHTFULLY tears the fuck into same for getting him accused of crime, stealing from him and now puttin ghim in a precarious situation. While Guy DID lie, he idd so well meaningly and trying to impress someone whose ineherntly judgmeental. Douglas also does REALY well in the scene, calling sam out but it dosen’t feel cruel.. it’s justified. While guy is miserable and does need to work on himself.. Sam also needs to work on himself and is putting guy in serious danger just by forcing him into his animal smuggling scheme. 

So Guy leaves.. and naturally given the unvierse hate shim runs into the BAD GUYZ, who aren’t much better. No really they refuse to belieive guy might be innocent, use excessive force on everyone. They have better GOALS than sam but I woudln’t really call them good people. Smash to black and we’re out. 

Final Thoughts:  This one was better. As I said the first half or rather third drags slightly but once we get to the two seperate plotlines it’s REALLY damn good stuff and reminded me what the series was capable of in character in creativity. Hopefully it keeps this up

Next Time on the Blog: We return to mewni for the penultimate chapter of season 3 as Moon and Eclipsa have some fundemtnal disgareemnts on how to handle Meteora that wind up costing both dearly. 

See you at the next rainbow