#What to do if Napoleon Won’t Stop Pointing

[thatsbelievable]

[onegianthotmess]

It’s Teatime!

Summary: Faust’s reject experimental elixir somehow made its way into Amelia’s sleepytime tea one night and she woke up as a little girl! And, being the only resident with any free time to watch the maid-turned-child, Isaac got roped into shenanigans by an Amelia that is ten times more chaotic than normal!

You guys can thank @natimiles for this! This is mostly for them and for my little wormy brain, but I hope you enjoy regardless!!!

“Why do I have to look after her?” Isaac asked Comte, uncomfortable with the small pair of eyes on him. Amelia, who was now about the age of five or six, hadn’t stopped staring at Isaac since he walked into the room and it really made the scientist rather uncomfortable and tense. “Couldn’t Napoleon just take her when he goes to teach the children in town? Or maybe Sebastian could watch over her?”

“Well, Napoleon already left, Sebastian has some pretty big chores and shopping for dinner to handle, and everyone else is too busy. And even if some of the others were free, I don’t trust some of them with looking after a child, especially a small girl who’s practically an evil genius as an adult,” Comte sighed apologetically. “And I have a few things to sort out today, so you’re really the only one who can look after her, Isaac. And, if this predicament doesn’t disappear tomorrow, I’ll have Leonardo look after her so you won’t have to. So, could you please do this just for today?”

Even though a small part of him wanted to, Isaac knew he couldn’t really argue with Comte. The only real plans he’d had for his day were to catch up on some reading and possibly start reading the new encyclopedia Comte had bought last month since Leonardo finished it last week. So, with a small nod of understanding and agreement, Isaac led Amelia out of the nobleman’s room and into the hallway.

Once out in the hall, Isaac couldn’t help but stare back at Amelia, who hadn’t looked away from him for even a second, out of nervousness. Had Amelia blinked even once since she’d begun to stare? The scientist couldn’t be sure.

“Uh-Uhm…Wh-Wha-What would you like t-to do?” Isaac stuttered out awkwardly, hoping that the question would divert Amelia’s complete attention from him, if just a little.

To Isaac’s relief and surprise, Amelia looked of to the side in thought. The thought of giving Amelia too many options and too much power in this situation briefly crossed Isaac’s mind, but it was far too late now. And it was especially too late when Amelia perked up and grabbed Isaac’s hand and began to pull him down the hall towards her room.

And, despite being five years old now, Amelia pulled Isaac along quite easily. He may not have been a very big man, being the shortest in the mansion and not the most physically powerful out of the residents, but he still naturally had quite a lot of strength as a vampire. And yet, here he was, being pulled down the hall by a five year old Amelia as if she still had the same amount of strength she did as an adult.

Before Isaac could internally question Amelia’s peculiar strength any further, he felt a tug on his sleeve. Cherry blossom colored eyes looked down to see Amelia gripping onto his sleeve and pointing at the door. Isaac then looked to the door to see the problem; Amelia was just a bit too short to reach the knob. The doors in the mansion were definitely custom designed and the knobs were a bit higher than a standard door design, so it made sense that Amelia couldn’t quite reach well enough to get a good enough grip to actually turn the knob and open the door to her room.

Isaac waited for the child to nod her head before he opened the door to her room only for her to pull him inside and pull him to one of the plush chairs. Taking the hint, Isaac sat down and looked down at the brunette girl who looked at him a moment to make sure he’d stay put before she smiled…and ran off.

Isaac’s first instinct was to go after her, but he wouldn’t even know where to look. It was hard enough to understand Amelia as an adult, but he couldn’t even begin to understand the woman as a child! So, the physicist stayed put so he wouldn’t be wandering around aimlessly and possibly worry the brunette girl if she came back and he wasn’t there.

Isaac didn’t have to wait long, however, as Amelia quickly returned with a basket in tow. And it was definitely quite heavy for her, seeing as her body was almost pulled down by it when she set it down. But, after a few moments catching her breath, Amelia perked up once more and pushed the basket over by Isaac’s feet before she opened it.

And the physicist watched with shock, and the question of where the brunette girl got her supplies so quickly in his mind, as Amelia quickly spread what looked to be a small spare tablecloth on the coffee table in front of Isaac and began to set things on the now covered table, including a tea set with three cups, three plates and three forks, serving utensils, and an entire apple pie. Where and how Amelia got those things and put them in that basket without breaking anything or making a mess, Isaac would never know the answer to that particular question no matter how much he’d ask or how long he’d stay up at night pondering it.

When Amelia finished setting up the table, she quickly moved to tug on Isaac’s hand, signaling for him to stand. The physicist did as he was silently told and let Amelia pull him to her closet before she stopped and turned to look up at the cherry blossom eyed man with a smile.

Seeing the confusion on the man’s face, Amelia explained her intentions. “You have to be dressed right to have tea,” she said, making the physicist tense up.

“D-Dressed right?” Isaac asked, now getting nervous.

He knew that he was small enough to fit Amelia’s adult clothes, with them being a bit long and loose on him due to Amelia being taller than him and quite a curvy woman as an adult. But, the idea of wearing those clothes, made Isaac shy and internally panic.

What if someone came home and walked in, seeing him in women’s clothes? What if he messed up one of Amelia’s favorite pieces that Comte had bought her? What if it was something expensive?

The physicist was pulled out of his panicked thoughts when he felt a tug on his pant leg. Isaac looked down to see the small brunette girl giving him puppy eyes.

“Please, Isaac?” Amelia asked. “I’ll make sure you’re very pretty and you can have a big piece of pie, too.”

Amelia always had a knack for convincing Isaac to do something. She never asked for anything big, but it was still impressive how easy it was for her to convince Isaac to do something for her. Maybe it was how patient she’s always been, or how she babied Isaac in a sort of motherly way.

Either way, Amelia’s convincing skills were ten times more affective when she was a child with some of the biggest and cutest eyes Isaac had ever seen.

Isaac sighed, “O-Okay. You can d-dress me up.”

Amelia beamed up at him and immediately began to look for something to put Isaac in, pulling aside dresses by their bottoms to get as good of a look as she could get of them. When she found one, the brunette’s peach colored eyes lit up and she looked to Isaac with a silent request, which the physicist understood and immediately took out a cream colored sundress, clearly from the 21st century from the style of it, with a print of peach-pink lily of the valley flowers printed at the bottom. It was simple and it would most definitely fit Isaac, even if it would be a bit loose and long on him, especially in the chest.

Amelia clapped her hands in pure joy as she fully saw the dress. It was perfect, especially with the peach-pink colored flowers at the bottom, and all she had to do was get things to put in Isaac’s hair and he’d be ready to have tea. The brunette girl quickly pulled Isaac to the changing screen in the room and left him there to rush to the vanity to try and find any hair accessories that would match the dress Isaac would wear.

Meanwhile, Isaac’s cheeks went as pink as his hair and eyes as he stripped out of his usual clothes, save for his underwear, and placing them on the stool that was also behind the screen. Once his regular clothes were off, Isaac looked to the dress that he’d hung up on a hook on the screen and his cheeks went a slightly darker shade of pink as what he was about to do was really hitting him. It wasn’t that he loathed the idea, as he’d rather see Amelia happy than feel guilty for making her cry, it was just the embarrassing idea of being caught dressed in women’s clothing that made him apprehensive about putting on the dress.

After a moment, Isaac was able to not think about those embarrassing thoughts for a little bit and he began to focus on how to put the dress on. Stepping into it and pulling it up would probably pop a few stitches and ruin it a bit, so the only other option was to pull it over his head. It took the physicist a moment, but when he figured out which way was the front, he managed to slip it onto his body.

The dress was loose on Isaac, as he expected, but it gave him anxiety as he felt it would slip off at any given moment. Then he noticed the pink ribbon that looked like it could tie around the front of the dress. Isaac quickly put two and two together and tied the ribbon comfortably around his front into a secure bow, making sure it looked nice so Amelia would be pleased and so that he wouldn’t have a crying girl on his hands.

Once he was sure he was done, Isaac quietly stepped out from behind the screen and walked over to Amelia, who was digging through a drawer full of what looked to be hair accessories. After a moment, the brunette perked up when she found something that pleased her and took it out of the drawer before turning to be met with Isaac in the dress she’d picked out for him. Amelia’s mouth stretched as wide as it could as she beamed in awe at Isaac, clearly very happy with the dress she’d chosen.

Amelia took another short moment to admire Isaac in the dress before making a motion signaling the physicist to crouch down to eye level with her. Once Isaac had followed the silent instruction, the brunette girl gently placed a white headband on his head. It was soft and didn’t hurt the sides of his head, thankfully, most likely being something that Amelia had with her when she’d first arrived through the door from the twenty first century.

Her peach colored eyes sparkled up at the man before she pulled him behind her so he could look at himself in the mirror. And Isaac didn’t want to admit it, but he couldn’t really be mad at what he saw reflected back at him.

The dress fit nicely with the bow secured around the front, the pink accents brought out his eyes and hair, it suited his complexion as well, and the headband was sort of like the cherry on top of it all. Isaac really didn’t mind how he looked in the mirror, not that he’d wear these clothes outside or around the mansion for everyone to see, even if it would be very embarrassing to be caught dressed like this.

“You’re so pretty!” Amelia beamed. “And now we can have tea and pie!”

The brunette hopped down from the bench she was standing on and led Isaac back over to the coffee table by the hand. She pulled him to where she wanted him to sit before she rushed away to the closet as Isaac sat down on the floor to pull out what looked to be a stuffed animal. But, it could really be called an animal, due to the fact that it had the word “MILK” embroidered on the front and had strawberries on the front as well, thus implying it was most likely strawberry milk. But why did it have two black eyes and a smile then? Why did the eyes stare into his soul as well?

“Amelia,” Isaac asked, “what is that, exactly?”

“Hm?” Amelia hummed with a smile as she gently set the plush across the table from where the physicist sat cross legged on the carpeted floor. The brunette then looked to the tag attached to the plush and smiled. “It’s a Squishmallow, silly! Her name is Amelie and she’s a carton of strawberry milk! Isn’t she cute?”

“Where did you even get it?” Isaac asked, still a bit uneasy from the big eyes of the plush sitting in front of him. “And ‘squishmallow’ isn’t even a real word.”

“Well, if I remember right, I’m pretty sure the nice Comte man went through the big door at the end of the hall to get some of my things for me a month or two after I started living here,” Amelia replied, squinting as the thought hard. “At least I’m pretty sure that’s what he told me. He went over everything when he went back to get me and told me where everything was, too. But he did say this is my room, so I should know where things are to make it a bit easier to live here.”

“I see,” Isaac murmured, figuring it best to just be satisfied with the answer he was given rather than press for more. Amelia was forgetful of important things enough as an adult, even worse as a child.

Amelia moved to the tea pot on the table and picked it up, holding the lid down as she tipped it and a white liquid poured out from the spout and into the cup in front of the “Squishmallow” that sat across from Isaac. It took the physicist a moment to put two and two together, but he eventually realized that it was just milk in the tea pot. It made sense after all, considering Amelia wasn’t a big fan of tea and found the tea at the mansion was particularly too bitter for her tastes, even with plenty of sugar in it.

Amelia poured milk into two of the three cups on the table, switching out the full cup of milk on front of her plush for the empty one, before she set the tea pot down and sat down, looking to Isaac.

“Would you cut the pie, please?” Amelia asked, thankfully knowing she was too small to handle cutting a pie by herself. She’d probably end up cutting off a finger or something if Isaac didn’t do it.

Isaac simply nodded and cut two pieces of pie, handing one to Amelia. The rest of the little “tea party” was spent in comfortable silence as the physicist and the maid-turned-child ate their pieces of pie and enjoyed each other’s company. The two even managed to finish off the pie, which wasn’t too bad as it was only a couple inches and more of a small desert that even one person could easily finish by themselves. The two continued to enjoy each other’s company as they played simple card games and Isaac continued to play dress-up with a very happy Amelia.

Eventually, both of them fell asleep on Amelia’s bed, the brunette girl curled in the arms of the physicist as they both slept peacefully through the night.

However, the next morning, Isaac was met with panic as Amelia was gone. He looked in every corner of the bedroom, only to find that he was alone and the brunette was missing. But, before Isaac could panic, the door to the room opened and the physicist was met with the sight of Amelia leading Leonardo into her room, the Renaissance man still looking quite drowsy. That drowsiness quickly melted away, however, when Leonardo locked eyes with Isaac dressed in one of Amelia’s sundresses and a headband.

“Cara mia, did you dress him up?” Leonardo asked, looking down at a very proud looking Amelia.

The brunette nodded with a smile, “I made him even prettier!”

“I see,” Leonardo replied before looking to the mortified physicist. “She didn’t force you into it or threaten you to do it, did she?”

“I didn’t want to make her cry and that possibility was the only threat I needed,” Isaac replied quickly.

Leonardo nodded, “I can see that. Well, I can take things from here, Isaac. You can change and I’ll watch the bambina for now.”

Isaac nodded and quickly went behind the changing screen where he left his clothes. He shortly came back into view of the Italian man and the brunette girl with the dress he was wearing folded neatly and the headband placed on top. He placed them down on the coffee table away from the dirty dishes that still needed to be taken care of before he went to the door to leave, only to stop and look back.

“I- uhm…Have fun?” Isaac offered with a shy wave before he left the room and disappeared down the hall.

“Wasn’t he so pretty?” Amelia asked with a smile.

Leonardo chuckled, ruffling the brunette’s hair before smiling, “Si, cara mia, he was so very pretty.”

Well, there you have it! I’m very sorry it took so long, but at least it’s done! Now I can work on Jane and Theo! PREPARE TO HAVE YOUR HEARTS BROKEN AND MENDED!!! MUAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

[midwinterrmemento]

How the Ikemen Vampire Cast Responds to “Would You Still Love Me if I was a Worm?”

Jean absolutely takes you seriously, even though he’s visibly confused. Because of the serious look on your face, he might think for a moment that this is actually a possibility he needs to be worried about. You watch as a familiar dark veil falls over his eyes—the look of a man prepared for battle. His most immediate concern is how defenseless you would be, and you better believe he’s willing to fight and die by the sword to protect that worm. If it’s for you, all bets are off. When you remind him that it’s just a question, that you’re just curious, he blinks and snaps out of it. Then, once his distress clears, you might catch a flicker of an amused smile on his face, which disappears as soon as it arrives. “I see. That’s… an odd thing to ask.” He doesn’t feel the need to answer any further than that, but his instinctual reaction speaks for itself; he would watch out for you no matter what form you take.

Isaac is also confused. “Gods, what kind of question is that?” When you don’t answer, staring at him with a completely serious look on your face, it doesn’t take long for his confusion to morph into anxiety. He wants to give you the right answer, but he can’t tell if this is actually important to you or if Arthur and Dazai put you up to it. His brows furrow as he runs through the possibilities in his brain. “Erm… that is…” What if you really are testing him, though? Is he already failing by stammering like this? He wouldn’t want you to think that he could ever stop loving you, even in such a ridiculous scenario. “I-I mean to say… Biologically, that would be… implausible, so not to worry, but…” His face is burning before he even finishes the thought, as he realizes he’s about to say something vulnerable and also totally nonsensical, but he pushes through, for your sake. “I-I would just be glad you’re still with me, that’s all…”

Dazai is not fazed at all, and he plays along without questioning what you’re getting at. “Oh, isn’t that a coincidence? I was just thinking of a story like that. A foolish prince neglects to tell his beloved how much he cares about her, so fate punishes him by taking her away and returning her to him as a worm—hm, why are you looking at me like that, Toshiko-san?” He avoids giving you a direct answer, but he humors you with his dramatics. Deep down, he feels that he wouldn’t be deserving of you even in worm form, since he certainly doesn’t deserve you as a human. But because you’ve chosen to stay with him for whatever reason, he’ll treasure you forever; he won’t let himself become anything like the prince in the story. If you can read between the lines of his bizarre, impromptu story, that will tell you everything you need to know. “Say, it would be fun to ask Ai-kun this question, don’t you think?”

Arthur will never pass up an opportunity to seduce flatter you. “I don’t see why not. Although, I must say…” A mischievous grin on his face, he slowly walks up behind you and wraps his arms securely around your waist. “I very much prefer your human form. I get to kiss you that way.” As if to emphasize his point, he bends down to leave a trail of teasing kisses down your neck, purposefully just light enough to tickle you. Once he gets a reaction out of you, you’ll feel him smile against your shoulder, pleased that he was able to make you squirm. “Ah... it would be too cruel if I never got to be with you like this again. What do you say I show you just how much I would miss your beautiful body, hm?” Ahem. As I was saying.

Napoleon stares at you for a second, and then you see his shoulders start to shake with suppressed laughter. When you scold him and tell him to answer the question seriously, he can’t help that his laughter spills over and as usual, once he starts, he can’t stop. “Pfft, a worm? If... if you were... hahaha!” He does his best to contain himself, but it takes a moment for his laughing fit to pass. When it does, he’s quick to reassure you. “Ha… Only you would ask me something like that, nunuche.” As you begin to protest, he quells all your fears with a fond smile, wrapping an arm around your shoulders affectionately. “You don’t even need to worry about it. Nothing like that will happen on my watch.”

Sebastian flicks your forehead. “Get back to work.” You stare at him in disbelief as he simply turns around and continues washing the dishes, unsure whether you’re more stung by the red mark on your forehead or the way he totally dismissed your question. Feeling your eyes on him, he sighs. “I’m only going to say this once.” Without even looking back at you, he calmly sets aside the dish he was drying, as though he wasn’t about to utter the words that would forever alter your relationship, the grandest declaration of love he could possibly give you. “It’s impractical for a human and a worm to be together. But as it is, I would choose you over Napoleon.”

Leonardo wonders if he heard you correctly, rubbing his bleary eyes because you woke him up for this and for what. There’s a brief moment of silence as you stare at him expectantly, his foggy brain trying to process what you just asked him. “Well, we’d need to keep Lumière away from you,” is all he says at first. When you tell him that that wasn’t the question, that you want to know if he would still love you, he lets out a sleepy chuckle and sits up properly so he can look you in the eyes. “I don’t know what put this idea in your head, cara mia, but I think we’ve come far enough to say that I wouldn’t give you up so easily. If you turned into a worm somehow, I’d look after you until I could find a way to turn you back into a human.” Actually, if he’s being totally honest, he might step on you or lose you somewhere in his room, so he hopes this is never put to the test.

Le Comte hums thoughtfully, his expression so calm that you almost wonder if he was expecting the question. You might not get the satisfaction of seeing him surprised, but you won’t even have time to be disappointed before he’s looking up at you with a gentle smile, so distractingly charming that it drives every other thought out of your head. “Well, it would certainly be harder to spoil you that way.” Behind that smile, he honestly might experience a brief moment of pureblood angst, considering how short a worm’s lifespan is compared even to a human’s, but he quickly reminds himself that it’s crazy to even imagine it. You’re here with him right now, alive and well and fully human—and deserving of some new jewelry, he’s decided.

Mozart looks up from his piano in disbelief, his hands stopping abruptly on the keys. Don’t take it the wrong way if he actually looks a little disgusted by the idea. It has nothing to do with how much he cares about you, it’s just that you’ve asked your germaphobic partner to think of you as a creature that lives in the dirt. He has trouble imagining that, anyway, considering how highly he thinks of you, even if he doesn’t always tell you that directly. “Well, you’re not a worm.” If you continue to insist but what if... well, he’s not actually going to admit that he would still love you lmao, but he’ll make up for it by reminding you how much he does love you, exactly as you are. "Stay here for a moment and listen to this piece.”

Vincent doesn’t seem to think there’s anything odd about that question once he considers it, and he answers sincerely and without missing a beat. “If you were a worm? Well, I’d miss being able to talk to you—your voice is so lovely, you know?—but I could still keep you company, at least. If you’d like, there should be enough room on my easel for you to sit there while I paint. Hm? What’s wrong? Was that not a good answer?” Please tell him that was the best answer. He’s worried that he might not have convinced you, so don’t be surprised if you see a little worm somewhere in his next painting; it’s the best way he can think to show you that you’d still be his favorite art subject even then.

Theo raises an eyebrow at you. “I still love you even though you’re a hondje, isn’t that good enough?” When you pout back at him, he sighs, reaching out to ruffle your hair. “If you need me to say it, then fine. But you should know by now that I love you no matter what.” Part of him is relieved when you seem content with his answer. He’s glad to know that that ridiculous sentiment was enough to reassure you of his affections, because he really does mean it. Another part of him, though—well, if you hear him muttering to himself “gelukkig ben je geen worm” as you’re walking away, just pretend you didn’t.

Shakespeare’s first instinct is to picture what this would be like as a play, and he isn’t exactly blown away by the idea. “’Tis a… style of tragedy yet unexplored.” He’ll only snap out of it when he sees you frowning at him and realizes that he hasn’t actually responded, then he quickly hides his bewilderment behind a smirk, advancing across the room towards you. “You have chosen a curious way to test my love. If you want my attention, you need only ask.” Perhaps he’s been neglecting you lately, too busy working on his latest play... but he would hate to make you feel uncertain about his feelings for you. Expect him to spend the rest of the evening waxing poetic to you, reassuring you as best as he knows how. Although you’ll notice, if you can avoid getting swept away by his lovely words, that he technically still didn’t answer the question.

Charles, like Vincent, won’t let something so small deter him from loving you. You’d still be you, after all, and you’re someone he never wants to lose, whether you’re a human or a worm. “Of course I would!” he smiles brightly, taking your hand. “I’m sure Lord Vlad’s garden would be a nice place for a worm to live, he takes such good care of it. I’ll make sure you have the best soil and everything, and I’ll come talk to you all the time, so don’t worry! Um... I’ll have to find out what else I should do to take care of a worm, but I’ll learn in no time.” Needless to say, Charles passes the test with flying colors. Just make sure he remembers this is a hypothetical situation before he actually starts making plans, and try to ignore the feeling of Faust’s judgmental stare boring into your back.

Faust, honestly, might make you regret that you asked. If you muster up the courage to come to him with this question, he might dismiss it right away, saying it’s a waste of time—or he might decide to toy with you a little bit. Depends what kind of mood he’s in that day. “Hmm. That’s hard to say.” Your blood chills as the corners of his mouth curve up into a smirk. “If you want a definite answer to your silly little question… I’m sure I could concoct something special to test it out.” Yeah… you might want to go back to the mansion before Faust actually tries to turn you into a worm.

Vlad has been around a long time, but this is the first time he’s heard this question, so kudos for catching him off guard. He stops tending his garden for a moment to look up at you with curious crimson eyes. “May I ask where this is coming from?” When you tell him it’s nothing, that you just want to know how he would feel, he blinks at you before huffing a gentle laugh. Honestly, this whole thing will be worth it just to see that warm glimmer in his eyes. “You never cease to surprise me, draga mea. Yes, of course I would still love you.” Satisfied, you turn away with a smile, missing the way his expression darkens. You might’ve accidentally unlocked a new fear for him, honestly. He may have to think of a solution to this problem, just in case. This man has literally waited centuries for you, so he’s certainly not going to let you go now. After all, if he can prevent the end of the world, he can prevent you from turning into a worm... right?

[intheshadowofwar]

20 June 2023

A Royal Fellowship of Death

London 20 June 2023

Sometimes a memorial becomes so ubiquitous in the landscape that you forget its a memorial. Take the Arc de Triomphe. It’s as ‘top down’ as a memorial ever was, but it is technically a war memorial, commemorating Napoleon’s battles and marshals. Arguably the Washington Monument is the same. And so, of course, is the Wellington Arch. In fact, the Wellington Arch doesn’t just commemorate Old Nosey’s victories in Flanders, Portugal and Spain, it serves as the epicentre of a small cluster of war memorials, just down the road from Buckingham Palace.

We started today at Victoria Station, visiting the memorial to the war dead of both the London, Brighton and South Coast Railway during the First World War and the Southern Railway of the Second. (For the uninitiated, the LBSCR was amalgamated with several other south coast railway companies to form the Southern in 1923, as a direct result of the war.) We then proceeded one stop up the Victoria Line to Green Park, and walked from there to the Bomber Command Memorial, the newest member of this little community of memorials.

The Bomber Command Memorial was always going to controversial, even divorced from it’s commention to Tory political operator Lord Ashcroft. For seventy years after the war, RAF Bomber Command existed in between the moral necessity to commemorate its more than 55,000 dead, and the politicial impossibility of raising a monument to the men who destroyed Hamburg and Dresden. Proportionally, both for Australia and the Empire generally, serving in Bomber Command was the most dangerous and deadly occupation of either world war, with a staggering 44% death rate. (Not casualties. Deaths.) To fly a Lancaster (or a Halifax, a Wellington, a Stirling or any of the other less fashionable bombers) took immense courage. Yet this courage was used to pursue what Arthur ‘Bomber’ Harris called ‘dehousing’ - the deliberate targeting of civilian areas. This was controversial at the time, to the point where the Americans took it as a point of moral pride that they didn’t bomb in the British fashion (until towards the end of the war, where the gloves came off, particularly against Japan.) Today, it’s a huge issue that a lot of people are very sensitive towards.

I think the Bomber Command Memorial does it’s job as tastefully as is possible to do so - bearing in mind that it is not possible to do this in a way that would be tasteful for everyone. Yes, the men on the pedestal are elevated, and we look up at them, but we look up at figures with a distinct sense of weary resignation to doing an awful job. It is the statues that turn what could be seen as - and what Ashcroft probably intended to be - a blandly nationalistic piece. They give it a human quality. It’s also worth noting that once a memorial, like any other piece of art, is finished, the interpretation of the beholder becomes just as valid and important as that of the artist.

I won’t get into whether or not I think strategic bombing was tactically or strategically justified, although I will say that for a long time there weren’t many other ways to prosecute the war, and I’m hestitant to judge Harris or Churchill too harshly.

We crossed the road to the Wellington Arch, and here split up so that each group could examine a chosen war memorial. I’m not in a group, so I got to wander around and look at whatever took my fancy, so instead of the insightful commentary of my cohorts about WWI memorials, you get to hear me moan about a Napoleonic statue. Specifically, there’s a statue of Wellington that faces Aspley House, and a handsome statue it is, but there is something about it that bothers me intensely. On the base, standing guard at each corner, are soldiers from various regiments of Wellington’s Army - probably intentionally, they represent England, Scotland, Wales and Ireland. This is good - what bothers me is their choice of representatives. The Scots soldier is an infantryman of the 42nd (Black Watch) Foot, as is good and proper. The Welshman is of the 23rd Royal Welch Fusiliers, the Englishman is of the 1st Foot Guards, and the Irishman is of the 6th (Inniskilling) Dragoons. And therein lies the problem - they’re all from elite regiments. (Additionally, the Fusilier is a sergeant.) Were it up to me, I’d swap the Foot Guard for, say, one of the light infantry regiments - let’s say the 52nd Foot, just for an example - and the dragoon for the 28th (Inniskilling) Foot. Both of these regiments deserve recognition, and neither of them are part of the social elite of the army.

Some might say this leaves out the cavalry. Well, bugger the cavalry. It’s the infantry and the artillery that win wars, and the cavalry that take the credit.

As for the other memorials, most of them were handsome enough. The Australian Memorial is a clever design; a wall in which, from a distance, one sees the name of battles, and when one comes closer they can see the small names of towns across Australia. The Machine Gun Corps Memorial is classical to the point that nobody would ever know what it was a memorial to unless they took a close look - it just looks like a naked Achilles making a jaunty pose. The New Zealand Memorial looks like somebody left their giant tent pins sitting in the side of a small rise, while the memorial to the Indian, African and Caribbean troops of the world wars is handsome but a little generic. It’s the Royal Artillery Memorial that really stands out, with it’s stone 9.2in howitzer and the weary figures of artillerymen standing sentinel around it. At the back is the stark image of a dead gunner, his body covered by his cloak and helmet. Below this anonymous casualty is an inscription - ‘here was a royal fellowship of death.’ It’s an outstanding memorial, and one of the standouts of the tour so far.

After presentations, we caught the Piccadilly Line from Hyde Park Corner to Piccadilly Circus, and from there took the Bakerloo down to Lambeth North. Here was the Imperial War Museum; it almost needs no introduction. Before the Australian War Memorial, before the hundreds of local memorials across the Empire, before the war had even ended, there was the everpresent IWM. Perhaps appropriately, the premises of the IWM used to be the infamous Bedlam asylum. We lunched here, and then looked around.

The IWM is undoubtedly a world class institution, and there was much to like about its famed First World War exhibit - it’s clearly global in scope, pays attention to the civilian as well as the military dimension, and has a number of artefacts one would never find elsewhere. Yet I could not help but see serious problems. A museum needs to keep things simple and accessible to the public, but some of the placards were so simplified that they actually made it more difficult to work out what things were. Take the Ottoman shoe one of our groups examined - it’s fascinating, but would it not be more fascinating to know where it came from? Was it recovered after the disaster at Salakamish, and does it thus have a connection to the ensuing extermination campaign against the Armenians? Or perhaps it came from Gallipoli, Mesopotamia or Palestine? Was the wearer a soldier, or a labourer behind the lines? Was he Turkish? Armenian? Arabian? Knowing where it came from could help us answer these questions and increase our understanding of history, all without making the placard unacceptably complicated.

There was also a giant naval gun standing in front of and obscuring the international uniforms (Italy, the Ottoman Empire and so on), and I just have to wonder what genius came up with that placement.

The Second World War wing had a lot of the same problems, but I can’t help but feel it was just a little better - less cluttered, slightly more context and information. It also had a lot of profiles of ordinary people involved in the wars - very quick blurbs about people to give the objects a more human touch. There’s also a bit on the Australians in New Guinea, complete with Owen Gun, so naturally that’s a big point in it’s favour. Upstairs there’s a temporary exhibit on the Troubles - I saw someone on Twitter who was absolutely infuriated that a British museum was talking about this, and I think they ought to look at it for themselves because I thought it was brilliant. At the top is the Lord Ashcroft Gallery of VCs, and all I’ll say about that is that I find the fact that Lord Ashcroft personally has the world’s largest collection of Victoria Crosses to be very disconcerting. As a great archeologist once said, ‘it belongs in a museum!’

(Yes, I know technically already in a museum, but the museum should own them.)

We finished around 4.30. I had dinner with mum at the Victoria Wetherspoons (review - it’s a Wetherspoons, you know what to expect) and then headed back in to write this. Tomorrow we get most of the day to ourselves, so I plan to duck down for a cheeky visit to the National Army Museum. But first an early rise, because there might - and I cannot absolutely confirm this - be something special in at Paddington…

[fang-and-feather]

by  @xxsycamore and @queengiuliettafirstlady

Day 1 - Bodyguard AU

Angsty - Warnings for blood and injury

Worth Protecting

Ikemen Vampire - Napoleon x OC (Amy)

How do you actually make a short AU? I'm not sure, my plans for most of these were too big to finish even one in time, so what I am posting are only scenes from the middle or end of bigger plans.

Why do I always finish everything so late? (nearly midnight where I live, and until I finished editing the post it was already past that) it is always a bad time to post things...

AO3 Link / IkeVamp Masterlist / General Masterlist

Napoleon never felt much like a vampire. Of course he had already died once and lived over a century after that, but only for not needing blood to survive he already felt more human.

That illusion of humanity was shattered when he got deeply wounded during a bodyguard job. The loss of blood and the scent it left in the air were making him thirsty. The taste of his own blood did nothing to quench his desire. Instead, it burned his throat, making it worse. And it got worse when Amy ran up to him with a first-aid kit.

“That’s why I told you I didn’t need a bodyguard.” Her angry tone didn’t match the worry in her eyes.

But Napoleon’s attention strayed from them to her neck. The urge to bite her was almost unbearable. Before he could control it, Napoleon found himself grabbing her by the arms and pulling her into the hotel bed with him.

He would wonder, later, how they had gotten inside without anyone realizing he was bleeding.

“Napoleon?” She asked, with surprise and hesitation.

He had to resort to every shred of self control to stop himself. His hold on her tightened, but Amy didn’t even flinch, looking him in the eyes instead.

“What are you saying, nunuche?” Napoleon forced himself to laugh, but his voice came out weak. “I saved your life... like I was supposed to.”

“I know. I probably wouldn’t be alive if you weren’t here. But I don’t like the idea of people getting hurt because of me. Just look at you!”

“This is nothing.” Napoleon coughed up blood, his mind becoming dizzy. His hold on Amy relaxing enough for her to pull away and return to trying to stop the bleeding.

“Just because you’re alive doesn’t mean it’s nothing. I’m sure even a vampire can die from blood loss, and you aren’t even fully one.”

Her hands and voice trembled, but, Napoleon would remember later, Amy seemed to know what she was doing, with surprising calm and precision.

But Napoleon was losing the remains of control he had recovered earlier. He could barely think straight.

Nails scratched at the sheets and fangs bit on his own lip in a last attempt at keeping hold of his sanity. Of his humanity. Napoleon was afraid of the monster he could become if he gave in to his instinct.

And it was Amy, the person he was bound to protect. It was his duty, but not only that. At some point, she had become someone he wanted to protect for who she was and what she meant for him. Because at some point she had come to mean more to him than a simple charge.

“Amy… leave…” he managed to whisper.

Amy shook her head, and even with his vision getting unfocused, Napoleon could see the glint of tears in her eyes.

“I’m not leaving you here to die. You’re telling me that because you’re afraid you’ll bite me. But if it is because of your job, you don’t need to hold back. If that’s what it will take to save you, think of this as an exchange. I will save you and you keep guarding me.”

Amy adjusted her body on the bed, fully leaning over him, and Napoleon reached out to her. She caught his hand in hers, pressing both to his chest.

“What if… I kill you?”

“You won’t. You’re my bodyguard. You would never let something bad happen to me, even if you have to protect me from yourself.” She crossed the distance between them to kiss his forehead. “I trust you, and I always will.”

Napoleon gave up. Silently apologizing to her, he kissed her neck before sinking his fangs into the soft flesh, getting his first taste of blood. It was warm, sweet, and intoxicating, unlike anything he expected. Intoxicating enough for him to lose himself in it.

When Napoleon came back to his sense, Amy had gone limp into his arms. She was weak, but alive. They both were.

Hugging her to his chest, Napoleon closed his eyes, sighing. He didn’t need any proof to know he had fully become a vampire after that, something he had always feared.

But if it was his way of continuing to protect Amy, he wouldn’t regret it. And he would make sure she was never put through a similar situation ever again. That he would swear to her when she woke up.

Because Napoleon couldn’t deny he loved her anymore, and he felt like this was a love worth guarding.

IkeVamp Masterlist / General Masterlist

[the-psudo]

First Draft: Russia, Ukraine, and Rumors of War

What's happening with Russia and Crimea?

Short answer: Putin wants everyone scared enough to do whatever he asks.

The long answer comes in 5 parts:

Russia

Crimea

Ukraine

Germany & the United States

Putin

RUSSIA

A few cultural traits or principles have remained true in Russia for centuries, regardless of changes to its form of government:

They believe they are the rightful heirs of Ancient Rome. Rome conquered the Mediterranean by finding paranoid reasons to believe that neighboring countries were about to attack, and then preemptively but defensively attacked them first, thereby conquering the world defensively.

Russia believes it is their moral obligation to protect ethnically Russian populations anywhere in the world, and especailly in neighboring countries. (This is often their reason for their preemptive defensive wars.)

They don't trust a united Europe, like the EU and NATO represent today. They genuinely think a united Europe will inevitably invade them and fight deep into Russian territory before eventually being destroyed by Russian winters. Like how Napoleon did after the French Revolution, and like the Austro-German Alliance did in World War 1, and like Hitler did in World War 2. The USA even invaded Russia during its Bolshevik Revolution. Nuclear weapons and the doctrine of Mutually Assured Destruction are probably why that pattern stopped since then, but Russia hasn't forgiven or forgotten.

In addition to that, there are some current, modern factors that affect how its national character expresses itself.

Russia still has about 45% of the world's supply of nuclear weapons (4,000 or so), and they're old and in bad repair. It would be almost convenient to use some of them, but it might expose that most of them don't work anymore and in their view that'd be tantamount to suicide to expose that weakness. They almost certainly won't use their nukes, but 99% certainty isn't comforting.

Russia's economy is heavily dependent on the export of fuels and energy products these days (63% of total exports, with crude oil and natural gas accounting for 43 of those percentage points).

Putin's political agenda has two points: 1) to restore Russian power, and 2) to convince the Russian people that all democracies are pretty authoritarian and corrupt, so they shouldn't bother to complain about Russia's corrupt authoritarianism.

That's Russia today.

CRIMEA

Crimea is a peninsula sticking south out of Ukraine into the Black Sea the way Florida sticks south into the Caribbean.

Russia (under the Tsar) first conquered the Crimean Khanate in 1783, ran it as a Russian province for centuries, then (as the Soviet Union) added it to the Ukrainian Soviet Socialist Republic in 1921. Ukraine declared independence in 1991, taking advantage of Soviet weakness during an attempted coup d'etat in Moscow. When Ukraine elected corrupt oligarch billionaire and pro-NATO President Petro Poroshenko, replacing corrupt pro-Russian President Viktor Yanukovych in 2014, Putin took decisive action to keep Ukraine out of NATO and the EU. He declared Poroshenko's government to be a modern Nazi party, a theory based on delusions and string, and sent Russian troops disguised as pro-Russian locals to hold a popular referendum on whether Crimeans wanted to join Russia or get shot where they stood. 96.77% of respondents voted to join Russia (local community activists put the real number at about 20%), and the international community labeled the entire Crimea adventure "the Russian annexation of Crimea." Russia disputes this characterization the way Trump denies the 2020 US election results.

Torture and other human rights abuses of hundreds have characterized the Russian occupation of Crimea, but most Crimeans keep their head down and Russia treats that compliant set like citizens with rights. Selective application of human rights is one of the hallmarks of tyranny.

Russia also invaded eastern Ukraine, justifying themselves with the argument that the far east was mostly Russian, mostly pro-Moscow, and the imaginary Nazis just elected would otherwise have killed them off. Poroshenko, bloated plutocrat that he was, still managed to arrange an impressively effective resistance to Russian aggression in the east, but that took all his forces. All he could do about Crimea was dam up the North Crimean Canal that supplies Crimea most of their drinking water. Crimea's agriculture was destroyed, and the population is chronically short of drinking water. Russia spent a ton of money trying to build wells and things, but it's not really working.

Putin has to get Ukraine to open up that canal.

UKRAINE

Ukraine is the breadbasket of Europe, similar to how the Great Plains states feed America. Ukraine and Russia have been parts of the same country a lot in recent centuries, and citizens of both countries tend to have a lot of family in the other and a lot of mutual loyalty. War between them is a war between brothers.

In the mid-1600s, a war against Poland was going poorly, so Ukraine called in Russian help. They ended up split between Poland and Russia, with the exact border bouncing around for a few centuries but favoring Russia. They also oscillated between relative independence and heavy-handed rule by Russia. Ukrainians fought on both sides of World War 1, but about 14 times as many on the Russian side. Ukraine was one of the founding members of the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics (USSR) in 1921, and the centralized management of agriculture quickly led to widespread crop failures in Ukraine and tens of millions of people starving to death across the Soviet Union. In 2010, the Ukrainian Parliament declared this mass starvation to be a genocide, but scholars are divided on whether that's technically true.

When World War 2 came around, Russia's alliance with the Nazis included uniting the Polish part of Ukraine with the Russian part for the first time. But when the Nazis (predictably) betrayed their alliance with the Russians, much of the fighting took place in Ukraine, including the famous resistance of the Battle of Kyiv (or Kiev). Caught between two dictatorships, about 6 million Ukrainians died, about 40% of the USSR's total causalities. After the war, the Soviet Union invested heavily into Ukraine, and it quickly developed into a major European industrial center, and many leading Soviet citizens came from Ukraine.

Ukraine developed a major energy and energy transportation sector, made infamous by the 1986 Chernobyl nuclear disaster, killing 56 people directly and an estimated 4,000 due to increased cancer rates. Mostly safe today, the site has become somewhat of a tourist attraction.

A unity and independence movement arose in 1990, and when an attempted coup distracted Moscow in 1991, Ukraine declared its independence. Ukraine voluntarily gave up their nuclear arsenal, the 3rd largest in the world, and ceased to be a nuclear power in exchange for security assurances. The collapse of the Soviet Union hit all of the component republics with a severe economic disaster as the economy adjusted from centralization to something more like crony capitalism, with Ukraine hit with a deeper economic depression than most. After a particularly corrupt election in 2004, the people arose in the peaceful Orange Revolution seeking freer elections and spreading the economic benefits of the energy industry away from the oligarchs and toward social safety nets and infrastructure projects. When President Viktor Yanukovych reversed national policy, pushing away from Europe and toward Russia, another wave of anti-corruption and anti-Yanukovych protests known as Euromaidan broke out. Yanukovych reacted by banning protests, and the protesters reacted to that by getting violent; 86 died, 100 went missing, and an estimated 15,000 were injured. Yanukovych signed a compromise that included freer elections, and the elections chose pro-NATO President Petro Poroshenko.

Putin accused this populist movement of being as bad as Nazis, and used the imaginary danger to ethnic Russians as an excuse to invade eastern Ukraine and annex Crimea. (Protests gone violent seeking democracy and justice portrayed as rising tyranny... why does that rhetoric sound familiar? Oh, because that's exactly the same rhetoric in the USA about 2020 Black Lives Matter protests. It's almost as if the same sources are telling the same lies in Ukraine and the USA, almost as if Russia is using the same lies in both countries to deepen national disunion.)

Before and after Putin's 2014-6 campaign of hostility in Ukraine, pipelines through Ukraine continued to deliver Russian natural gas to German customers for a transport fee. This was a huge economic benefit to Ukraine, and Russia hoped to evade those charges. To that end, they built the Nord Stream 1 pipeline through the Baltic Sea to Germany (now open) and the Nord Stream 2 to Germany's border (Germany refuses to allow the construction to continue onto their soil, because it gives Russia too much money and power). Natural gas transport through Ukraine has dropped to about a quarter of what it once was, dousing the Ukrainian economy. This pressures Germany to buy Russian natural gas through the Nord Stream pipelines, where more of the money goes to Russia, rather than through Ukraine, where Ukraine gets transportation fees.

In the Ukrainian election of 2019, Poroshenko was beaten by Volodymyr Zelenskyy and his populist, pro-NATO, anti-corruption platform with over 73% of the vote. Zelenskyy represents a move from oligarch-headed crony capitalism towards genuine representative democracy. Though he is praised for his handling of Russian and American meddling in his country (remember Trump's phone call to him?) and for his handling of the COVID pandmeic, his critics generally complain about his not doing enough to shed Ukraine's authoritarian past.

Russia wants to avoid having to pay Ukraine's transport fees when it sells natural gas to Germany, so that Ukraine's economy and international sanctions against Russia will be weakened.

GERMANY AND THE UNITED STATES

Germany's entire political system and governing philosophy is based on never again resembling Nazi Germany to even the least degree.

Germany wants to move to 100% renewable sources of electricity, but about a third of their energy comes from natural gas and about 16% from nuclear. They're trying to cut their dependence on these thermal energy sources, while investing tremendously in solar and wind energy. In the meantime, though, they're importing a lot of natural gas from all over. About 10% of their total energy consumption is Russian natural gas specifically. There's far more capacity for Russian natural gas to be imported through Ukraine, but with war and rumor of war blocking the use of Ukraine's pipelines, Germany is actually getting more Russian natural gas through Nord Stream 1 now than through Ukraine.

Then-Prime Minister Angela Merkel encouraged the importation of more Russian natural gas through Nord Stream 1 and 2 as recently as summer of 2021. But her center-right coalition was voted out of office and replaced her with Olaf Scholz of the most left-wing party in the left-wing coalition that formed Germany's new government. He opposes Nord Stream 2, fossil fuels generally, Russia's escalation of tensions in particular, and anything that smacks of war most of all.

Since the fall of the Nazi Party, Germany never wavers on its anti-war stance. To that end, they've refused any hint of willingness to defend Ukraine if Russia attacks and even refuses to let other nations use German-made military equipment to defend Ukraine. The have dragged their feet about Ukraine's aspirations to join NATO and the EU, in hopes of preventing tensions from escalating by preventing Ukraine form joining. But tensions have escalated anyway. Germany is disgusted with Russia's tactics of disinformation and provocation, and has declared intention to stop importing Russian natural gas entirely if they invade Ukraine. This would mean paying a LOT more money to keep Germans warm this winter, but most Germans across the ideological spectrum consider that a small price to pay to prevent war.

Then there's the United States. The United States led NATO in laying the sanctions smackdown on Russia in the aftermath of the 2014 annexation of Crimea and invasion of eastern Ukraine. Neoconservative Republicans wanted Obama to take a stronger stand against Russia, perhaps with some bombings or military assistance to Ukraine, but paleoconservatives wanted to stay out of any foreign conflict. When Obama did take a strong stance against Russia, the paleoconservative position became the party's dominant position. Donald Trump took special glee in his 2016 campaign calling Obama a warmonger and making excuses for Putin's Russia.

After the Trump Campaign's cooperation with Russians who hacked the 2020 election fell technically short of the US criminal law definition of conspiracy, Trump was adaptable -- some would say erratic -- about US foreign policy towards Russia. He would strengthen and weaken sanctions without obvious pattern, met with Putin at times openly and other times in secret, and when Congress passed a new sanctions bill against Russia (and other countries) Trump simply refused to enforce the Russian sanctions.

The Trump Administration also dragged their feet in defending the interest of any countries that sought American help against Russia, including Ukraine. The most famous example of this is Trump's call to the Ukrainian President Zelenskyy in which he ostensibly demanded a political assassination of Joe Biden in exchange for actually giving Ukraine the military aid that Congress had already voted to give them. This was bribery (specifically, soliciation of a bribe) under US criminal law and the US Constitutional description of what crimes justify conviction on impeachment of a President. But, in a rejection of rule of law, most Senate Republicans ignored the evidence and worked directly with Trump's defense lawyers in order to thwart the impeachment trial. Trump was impeached by the House, but escaped conviction in the Senate, for his role in undermining Ukraine's defense against Russian meddling for his own personal benefit.

Trump and German PM Angela Merkel found a rare point of common ground in their mutual support for Nord Stream 2. But when they both lost elections in 2020, the dream of Russia circumventing Ukraine to sell natural gas directly to Germany died. In April 2020, in response to the economic impacts of the COVID pandemic, Trump brokered an international agreement with 20 countries including OPEC, Russia, and Mexico to cut global oil production by 9.7 million barrels/day (3.1 million B/D of it in the USA) and slowly reintroduce oil production back into the economy; half by 2022, and the other half to be negotiated based on circumstances in 2022. This deal or one substancially like it was absolutely necessary to prevent adding an global oil crisis to the already tumultous first pandemic year, but as a side effect ensured US and global oil and gasoline prices would stay high for years after lockdowns ended and oil demand returned. Russia heavily favored cutting oil production, since the oil company profits enabled Russia to improve their economy without despite the economic sanctions they operated under, and Trump did nothing to oppose Moscow's call for as large a cut as possible.

PUTIN

Summarizing all this, Putin has at least 4 good motives, solidly based on Russia's national interest, to heighten tensions with Ukraine. And history demonstrates that he will lie, cheat, steal, and commit acts of war in order to achieve his ends.

The very existence of tensions between Ukraine and Russia has increased profit margins on Russian oil and natural gas exports, helping Russia's economy and helping them circumvent international economic sanctions.

Putin can pressure Ukraine to release fresh water into Crimea, implying that they accept the validity of the annexation and making it easier for Russia to manage Crimea.

He can pressure Germany to accept natural gas through Nord Stream 2, either by physically destroying the Ukrainian alternative pipeline or as a German concession in negotiations to prevent war. This would hurt Ukraine's economy, benefit Russia's, and would make Russia even more impervious to international sanctions.

He can test the resolve of the USA, NATO, and the EU (collectively, "The West"), and take for Russia whatever they will allow Russia to take. This fulfills his political promise to restore traditional Russian power on the global stage by traditional Russian means.

More speculatively, he might be able to annex more of Ukraine. Traditionally, Russia doesn't feel complete as a nation without Kiyv and Moscow residing within the same national borders. Think of it as Russia's equivalent to the Manifest Destiny cultural myth.

Interestingly, he can accomplish all of these goals (except annexing Ukraine) without war. All he has to do is bring the West to the negotiating table and get them to concede these points. But, if negotiations fail, he can go to war to try to take these concessions by force. This puts him in a strong negotiating position. Russian people generally think that Putin would never be crazy enough to fight their family in Ukraine, but is just trying to bluff the West into greater concessions. They're probably right about that. That doesn't imply that it will fail.

[[ TODO: integrate bibliography from external file ]]

[josefavomjaaga]

Eugène’s job limitations

On Saint Helena, Napoleon remarked (almost in the same sentence in which he called Eugène "une tête carrée") that "he governed Italy perfectly, I had nothing to do there."

Coming from Napoleon, this is not necessarily praise. It may actually be the opposite, judging from a letter Hortense wrote to her brother in February 1806:

[...] Mama was with the Emperor yesterday when he received a letter from you and one from Junot. You told him what you had done and Junot asked his advice on everything he wanted to do. He noticed the difference very well and you must have received a rather harsh letter from him. [...]

But the harshest letters Napoleon did not really write himself but had somebody else do it. Preferably Duroc, whose gentle tone mellowed the harsh message so beautifully. In Eugène's case, Duroc really went out of his way in order to soften the blow:

Monseigneur, today His Majesty has done me the honour of calling me to his chambers to talk to me about you. I am going to grieve you, but I must do it, and it will be easy for you to stop being grieved. [...]

Duroc then lists a couple of occasions when Eugène overstepped his boundaries before continuing:

Thus, for example, speaking of the smallest thing, if you ask His Majesty for his orders or his advice to change the ceiling of your room, you must wait for them; and if, Milan being on fire, you request him to put it out, you should let Milan burn and wait for orders.

At this point, editor DuCasse assumes that the part about letting Milan burn is Duroc's opinion rather than Napoleon's. Which I doubt, because in the passage right above this one Duroc already says something very similar, apparently on Napoleon's direction. But I'm pretty sure that the next part is indeed Duroc's own advice:

Or, when it is up to you, do not ask; you are a good soldier, you will understand me perfectly.

Just don't tell him everything, stupid! What your superior doesn't know won't hurt him.

[yanderepuck]

Ikevamp heat cycle

Wow you’re all horny

So @lulu-the-smol-floof and I believe that purebloods have a heat cycle like animals.  It happens every 4-5 years and can last from 2 weeks to a month and goddamn these bitches get horny.

But for all you horny bitches sake @shenevertricks1831 I will also write some head canons for the lessers as well.

@judgemental-seal @delicateikemenmemes @lulu-the-smol-floof @nafeary @bierunderdbeeren

First off.  Let me tell you that you do NOT want to be in the Castle when Vlad is in heat.  He mainly fucks Charles senseless, but sometimes you have to give that boy a break.  He might be kinky as fuck but he only has so much stamina. Faust locks himself in his lab.  He doesn’t want to deal with Vlad’s horny bullshit, but ends up having to anyway

BUT.  The mansion is a different story.  Luckily Leonardo’s and Comte’s have synced up after being with each other for so long, but for a while they weren’t.  But even if they both are in head at the same time, sometimes they want something different.

Leonardo will often go to Theo since he found out he likes him back.  He wondered why Leonardo was all over him all of a sudden.  Comte will sometimes go to Sebastian.  He doesn’t like to admit it, but he has gone to Arthur once or twice.

Getting like this also makes purebloods very territorial.  Meaning Leonardo gets even more over protective of Comte.  Vlad doesn’t have a chance getting around Comte when they’re like this.

Now lets act as if Lesser can also get this way.  It doesn’t last nearly as long two and a half weeks on average.  But poor MC

It didn’t kick in for anyone until after being a vampire for a year, even then they still weren’t at the same time.  Napoleon can barely handle himself around you as it is.  You’ve been wondering why he’s been a little rougher lately, trying to pull you into his bed even though you say you have things to do, because its the middle of the day.

Mozart hates feeling this way, but he knows there’s only one way to make it go away.  Luckily he doesn’t have that high of a sex drive as it is, so just a little bit here and there can get him through those few weeks.  But when he can’t handle it any longer you better be willing to go all night, because there’s no way he’s letting you go once he gives in.

Would Arthur really be any different?  Yes actually.  Instead of simply flirting he comes up behind you and starts kissing your neck, giving you little nibbles no matter where you are.  The two of you could be out and he’s asking for a quickie.  Which yes that’ll work for now, but don’t you think for a moment that it’s over.  He’ll pull you into his bedroom and just begin stripping you.

Poor Isaac.  He’s just trying to figure out a way to prevent this from happening.  It sorta makes him feel ashamed.  He has such a big bloodlust as it is, and now he just wants lust.  He’d try to distance himself from you because he knows that once he’s close to you he won’t be able to control it.  But you don’t know what’s going on, so when you go to check up on him he already has you pressed up against the wall, his lips on your neck and pressing himself against your body.  There’s no way he’s going to be gentle with you, he’s already been in heat for five days and hasn’t been able to touch you.

Vincent doesn’t understand what he’s feeling at first until he spots you.  That’s when he makes the connection.  He thinks he’s going to hurt you, and since all he has is a couch, it’s not too easy.  He probably ended up coming into your room and before you could say anything he shut the door behind him while kissing you. His hands were already under your clothes, he could barely control himself, and that’s exactly how you like to see him.

Theo thinks there’s something wrong with him when he starts feeling incredibly horny, and it will not go away.  He tries to just ignore it, but half way through the second day he can’t.  And when he sees you.  Well.  He’s ready to put you on a leash and tie you up so you can’t go anywhere.  He doesn’t want to stop touching you.  He gets very territorial over you, even towards Vincent.  He doesn’t want you near another guy.

Jean is just screaming.  He didn’t want to be a vampire and now he has to deal with this.  Well it may not be all bad.  Wither this is the first time or not, you’ll be able to show Jean some things. With how he’s acting you can tell and decide to help him out.  You start out topping him, but that doesn’t last long.  Once Jean figures out how good it feels and relieves some of the tension he’s taking over and taking you to pound town.

 Will tries to be a gentleman the best he can.  But on a normal day he has a hard time taking his eyes off you.  But during these few weeks?  He’s a little nervous for you to be in his presence.  He is rough with you has it is, and even though he knows you like it that way, he’s worried about going too far.  But you do come over and almost immediately you end up stripped and on his couch, kissing him with your hands bound.

Now with Dazai he tries to hide this feeling.  He feels like it isn’t right to feel this horny.  But it doesn’t take him long to realize what is going on.  This is a normal type of horny.  He goes in the thermae to relax but little did he know you were coming in too.  It had been a long day and you wanted to unwind, and you saw your man in there as well.  Perfect time to catch up with him.  Dazai attempted to keep a bit of a distance, but you assumed he was just playing hard to get and accidentally ended up corning him.  He couldn’t take it anymore and switched spots with you, putting you in the corner and kissing you, his hands went around to grab your ass, lifting you up a bit, pressing himself against your body.  Not what you were expecting, but you don’t object.

Even being a man of science Faust wasn’t sure what was going on the first time.  Yes he gets horny from time to time, but not like how he is now.  He tried to tell you he was doing something important and to leave him alone in his lab for a while, but did you listen?  No.  You wanted to bring him something to eat.  He’s been working hard.  You didn’t plan on staying since you didn’t want to bother him, but he said he was at a breaking point.  He ignored the food and lifted you up onto his table, pressing himself against you.  You hadn’t known what got into him, and before you could even say anything his lips were on yours and his hand was on your heat.

Charles can be horny as it is.  He’s very needy and that comes with it.  But he’s felt excessively horny for the past day.  He didn’t think much of it but the more he was around you the stronger it got.  At one point he even bared his fangs at Vlad for getting too close to you.  He hadn’t even realized he had done it.  But after that interaction he wanted to make sure Vlad’s touch on you didn’t linger.  His hands and lips were all over your body.  You try asking what has gotten into him all of a sudden, but he take your hand and puts it to his crotch and he starts leaving marks all over your neck.

~~

Leonardo won’t let you leave.  You might as well get comfy.  He can go all night as it is, but now he’s like this everyday for a month.  He ends up telling you about it a few days in and you just look at him and think about how sore you’re going to be and how much you’re going to love it. Of course Leonardo would never make you if you didn’t want to.  The aftercare is just as great. He’ll leave and come back with some of your favorite snacks.  For the most part you stick with being in your room or his room, but that doesn’t mean nothing has happened int he library.

Comte just wants to lock you in his room and not let you near any of the others.  He can’t stand to see you with someone else at this time.  The great thing with Comte is that he’s also one hell of a bottom, so you get to switch it up quite frequently.  For your sake you better not go around anyone else, especially Arthur.  The moment Comte hears another guy talking to you, he will sweep you off your feet and take you back to his room.

Vlad might actually lock you in his room.  You would have everything you need, but he might actually lock you in.  The thought of Charles being near you makes his blood boil, more than it does on a normal day.  He doesn’t even want Marshmallow to be getting any attention from you.   He is to have you all to himself.

Masterlist

[bellasweetwriting]

RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN COWORKERS

spencer reid x f.reader

(not my gif)

masterlist

plot: After months in the BAU, Spencer and you still don’t seem to get along.

prompt: “if I was in a room with Hitler, Napoleon and you, and I had a gun with two bullets, I’ll shoot you twice”

warnings: enemies to lovers, hate, angst, everything you can think of

note: it’s the fact that I went into a mental breakdown for almost a year and I hadn’t wrote anything... hehehehe

It was no secret Spencer and you never got along.

It all started when you first got in. You guys seemed to bond about music and movies, yet when the work started, you guys had complete different versions of what was right.

You were spontaneous, Spencer was calculated. You weren’t much of a talker, Spencer couldn’t shut up. You followed your instincts, Spencer followed data. Both of you had good ideas, but you never agreed with each other.

The whole BAU could see it, so you guys weren’t hiding it. This whole messed up organization in work killed any chance of you and Spencer ever becoming friends outside of it. The team was your family, and you love family... doesn’t mean you have to like them.

Spencer and you didn’t like each other, but both of you still cared for the other.

Sometimes, as you yell «I hate you», you don’t mean it, but when you say «I love you», you are completely joking. You don’t mean any insult, but you definitely lie in every compliment. You care for each other, but you are not friends.

You are like an old married couple that has to put up with each other, and for some reason, Hotch loves to team them you guys up in every case, maybe because the team gets entertained every time you guys have to do something together.

It’s not common to see Spencer Reid getting angry, and he always gets angry with you.

"Okay, Y/N, Reid, I need you to stay here. You got victimology. I need you guys to find a connection between this three girls."

You looked at them. They had nothing in common. Not even their eye color. Why would a serial killer have such a messed up victimology? It wasn’t a type.

You and Spencer were left alone in the police station, in the conference room where the team had set up. While Spencer was reading every bit of information about the victims, you were bouncing around, thinking about the three girls.

"Would you stop?" Spencer asked you and you paused your bouncing. "I’m trying to read... and actually work."

"I’m working, Doc," you argued before placing your index finger against the side of your forehead. "I’m using this to figure out the connection between these three girls. What are you doing?"

"Reading about the three girls and not waiting for a divine signal from the sky!" He snapped before looking down. "You are so difficult."

"You are so boring!"

Spencer has never hated someone as much as he hated you.

"Look, my mom told me to never be rude to people, but I just have to say this: If I was in a room with Hitler, Napoleon and you, and I had a gun with only two bullets, I’d shoot you twice."

You scoffed. "No, you wouldn’t. I actually save people by stopping serial killers. You’d be letting two of the worse dictators in history alive so they can kill..." But you stopped yourself before sitting next to Spencer. "Hand over the files..."

Spencer followed your request and you opened them in a hurry, taking out the class schedules for each girl.

"They all are into this tutoring program," you started reading. "They get personal classes. Brittany, the first victim, was written up from History Lessons, and the other two got English classes from the same tutoring program. These girls didn’t know each other, but they—"

"Could have the same teacher," whispered Spencer. "It’s the same tutoring couch, this guy..."

"We need to call Hotch," you mumbled. "We may have our unsub. Call Garcia, check if he fits the profile."

Hotch not always pairs you up so he can get free entertainment, but because he knows you guys do a great team. By annoying each other, you get out your best qualities into the light. You push each other to be better profilers. And you don’t realize it as you guys keep bickering each other, but if it wasn’t for the other, you wouldn’t be as good profilers as you are now.

After the case, more likely after Spencer and you cracked it up in almost fifteen minutes, you were sitting in the jet ride back home, reading a book as you were trying to stay awake.

The fact that you were reading something caught Spencer’s attention. The way you kept pushing your hair away from your face so you can read better, or how you would yawn, but refuse to sleep. He imagined you were arriving to an interesting part.

Spencer stood up, walking towards you. "I love that book. Did you arrive—"

"Shut up, Reid," you cut him off before yawning a bit. "Don’t ruin it for me like you did with The Phantom of the Opera."

"That ending was obvious. You’re a profiler!"

"How to Kill a Mockingbird?"

"Okay, that one was on purpose," he admitted as he sat down, you toes almost touching his leg from under your blanket. "I won’t ruin it for you this time."

You smirked before closing the book. "We did well today, catching that unsub."

"If we hadn’t bickered at each other like we did, we would have taken longer," pointed out Spencer. "Maybe, someone else would be dead."

You couldn’t help but to smile. "Are you calling us «superheroes», Doc?" He rolled his eyes. "I’m definitely a superhero, like Batman. You’re the other guy."

"I’m definitely not Robin."

"I know that! You’re my butler, Albert."

"Alfred," he corrected and you smiled.

"So you agree... I’m Batman and you’re Alfred."

He let out a sigh. "I’m out of this conversation."

You liked to make fun of Spencer, it was actually one of the things you liked about the job. You cared about him, even if you didn’t like him.

And that’s why sometimes you doubted. If you hate someone... why care about their well being? Is it like caring for someone of your family when you don’t actually like them? Was it like that with Spencer?

The next day, as you arrived to the office, you noticed how in your desk there’s a box with chocolates and a bouquet of flowers, and for a second you wished it was from Spencer’s.

That thought went away as fast as it came.

"Someone got their Valentine hooked already," mocked Derek as he noticed the present on your desk. "Who’s Cupid’s victim?"

"No one," you replied before reading the note. "Their from Alex, that guy I dated."

"Why is your ex boyfriend sending you flowers?" Asked Spencer as you tossed them in the bin before opening the box of chocolates.

"Because I’m unforgettable," you answered quickly before letting yourself fall on your chair.

Derek scoffed. "Yeah, right."

"It’s true!" You argued. "I date them for two weeks, give them the best sex they’ve ever had, get them hooked and then, before I catch feelings, I remember I have the busiest and most tiring job that exists and can’t date them. So... they stay in love with me knowing... I’ll never have time for them."

"Everything you just said makes me think that you have commitment issues," snapped back Spencer and you rolled your eyes before sticking out your tongue. "How matured," he mouthed, mocking you.

You turned to look at Derek. "I need to date a guy I can see every day without it affecting my work."

"So... date someone from work," offered Derek before walking away.

You thought about it for a sec before scoffing. "That’s a terrible idea."

"Actually, most successful couples—"

But you stopped him. "Don’t «actually» me, Reid, I’m not interested in your facts."

"I was just going to say... dating people that you work with or that have the same career as you increases your chances of a successful relationship. You share with someone that understands what you do. Simple logic."

You glanced over him. "So, you’re suggesting I should date someone from work?"

Spencer stood up from his desk with files in hand. "I’m saying... the statistics would be in your favor if you decide to do so."

And with that, the young genius left, leaving you with a lot of doubts.

• • •

The team and you were staying at a hotel that night for the new case they were involved in. You were quick to get in your room and toss your suitcase on the side of the bed before jumping on it, closing your eyes.

You were tired, you wanted to sleep, you wanted to rest so you could scream at Spencer the next day with the biggest amount of energy possible.

But your mission was interrupted by a knock on three door.

"Coming!" You yelled before opening the door of your room, looking at Reid standing there. "You got the wrong room. This isn’t the entrance to Dorkland."

"Very funny," he said sarcastically. "I just... About the whole... two bullets, Hitler, Napoleon... I... I didn’t mean it."

"What?" You asked in confusion. Was he apologizing for a joke?

"I wanted to make sure you knew that I didn’t mean it, that’s it, don’t read much into it."

"Yeah but why are you making sure I know you didn’t mean it? You’ve never done that before."

He exhaled. "I feel like... back at the office, we had a conversation when we didn’t insult each other hurtfully. It’s the first time we’ve had one and I kinda enjoyed it... don’t make fun of that."

You smiled. "Spencer... just because we don’t agree in work method doesn’t mean we have to hate each other till death, you know? I think... discussing our points of view could actually makes us better profilers if we stop degrading the other. Don’t you think?"

"Yeah, you may be right," he whispered. "Can I come in?"

"Why?" You asked in confusion.

"I studied more about relationships between coworkers and I want to talk to you about the upsides and downsides about dating between—"

But you interrupted him. "Spencer, is there any other reason besides apologizing that you came to my room?" But he shook his head. "Okay... let’s pretend I believe you."

But you didn’t believe him. You didn’t believe him at all.

Spencer was hiding something.

• • •

After a week of you and Spencer hanging out a bit more, you started realizing he wasn’t so bad after all. That all of that hating turned out to be more about your work rather than each other.

You realized you worked better together rather than apart, and stopped complaining every time Hotch assigned you with each other. That stopped entertaining the team.

But it was at Rossi’s game night when it changed for the first time.

When you say Reid as more than a colleague, or even a friend.

As something else.

By the way he would make Emily blow on his hands when he had the dices in between them before tossing them on the board with excitement, or when he knew the answer to each and every question, because he had memorized the entire game. By the way he would get excited every time he had something right, and angry every time the other team got something correct.

You liked Spencer Reid.

It took you long to figure out.

The next day, you approached his desk in a hurry, holding that study about relationships between coworkers between your arm and waist.

You were ready to date Reid.

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Hi! I love everything that you write and heh I am a fan! 😄 tbh this is my first time requesting something on Tumblr! If you don't mind and if I am not being a bother...can you write about how the guys would react If MC suddenly starts making meme references? I don't know how I got the idea but I am REALLY curious. And love you! :D

Hiya! Tyvm for the kind words, and apologies that this took a while! I hope you have the chance to enjoy it regardless ❤️❤️❤️ Love you too, sweet pea! I promise to get to the next request you’ve sent ASAP~

Aight but this would be hilarious because the range of the reactions is just ungodly. I will be putting this under a cut after Napoleon so I don’t clog up everyone’s dash, but all the suitors are included below otherwise! 

Comte is the one that recognizes a few, but didn’t really stay in modern times long enough to be as well-versed as a Gen Z kid might. Regardless he finds the wittiness and absolute chaotic fuckery to be delightful, and will 100% support the harmless nonsense. It never fails to get a laugh out of him

Mozart that first day be like: “Buzz off MC I hate you” MC, because she likes swinging bats at wasps’ nests: “Well that’s not very cash money of you” Mozart: ?????????? Comte, giggling in the bg like the secret fae he is This one’s just because I’m petty, but after the events of Comte rt I just imagine them encountering Vlad again and MC’s just “I lived bitch.” while Comte is flipping him off behind her lkjahgkjhdsg

Comte @ Leo when he finds the latter under his desk: Had it not been for the laws of this land, I would have slaughtered you.  MC: wheezing from the hallway as she’s about to give him his letters

MC: So how was your day, honey? Comte: Good, good--briefly had to go beastmode upon the punk that pilfered my lint roller MC, biting her lip to keep from laughing: So does Leo still have his kneecaps? Comte: for now.

Comte, @ literally anyone upsetting the MC: I won’t hesitate, bitch

Comte: Be careful with my emotional baggage, it’s designer

MC: What if I was evil and ran towards you at very fast speeds Comte: My arms are strong, I would catch and hug you

Leo and Dazai are the ones that don’t have a single reference point but are filled with so much dumbass chaos energy that they just. Understand immediately???? Nobody knows how or why, but they just catch on so fast--adapt the language in a matter of weeks. Never underestimate the power of combined boredom, depression, and humor

I swear to god I just see MC taking them their Blanc/Rouge and being like “here you go sir, one enslaved moisture” and they just go fucking hog wild from day one. MC starts impersonating Theo when he leaves the room around Dazai, like fake deep voice “you all only hate me because you do not like me and I am mean to you. grow up.” Or like the MC meets a baby on her travels with Leo around town and she holds them and says v seriously and sagely “So you are Baby? I have heard tales of your exploits.” and Leo about loses his shit right there. They both think MC is the funniest person alive--they’ve never been more eager to throw a ring at someone in their entire life.

Also a bonus for my beloved Dazai:  MC, facing even the slightest inconvenience (like dropping her fork) in the most dramtic voice possible: Life is not daijoubu. Dazai: wheezing

MC, after watching Theo turn down a woman at the bar in the meanest way possible: bro quit letting the darkness consume you u r scaring the hoes Dazai, literally rolling around on the ground, half-drunk and dying:

MC, walking alongside Dazai and stopping to stare at her reflection in the River Seine. Dazai’s expecting some sad or twisted shit, since people often feel comfortable talking about those things around him, but instead she just: “Oh, it’s you. The source of all my problems.” And he about falls into the river from shock HAHAHA

At this point don’t be surprised if his next book is about an absolute madlad woman similar to MC

Napoleon finds it to be a delightful quirk more than anything? He doesn’t really understand it, but he finds it funny when they change their voice for effect or speak in exaggerated tones. If it’s just comprehensible enough for an outsider to understand--or Sebas gives him context--chances are it’ll send him into a laughing fit

For this one I just imagine MC singing that Ratatouille meme song obnoxiously bad while cooking, and Napoleon and Comte are just so wildly amused by it bc it makes zero sense and it’s only vaguely French at this point

MC @ Napoleon while they’re cooking brunch: Can I offer you a nice egg in these trying times?

MC, conflicted because she’s tired and wanted to sleep in but also got to see Napo’s cute sleeping face for a few hours: For my next stunt, I’ll wake up at 5AM on the day I can sleep in. Sebas: Early to bed and early to rise makes a person healthy, wealthy, and wise MC: early to bed and early to rise makes me a massive bitch Napoleon: laughing in agreement

Isaac is the type to be bewildered and concerned at first (especially when he hears the more nihilistic ones hoOOOoooOO BOY) but eventually begins to understand it’s some bizarre attempt at humor (that hurts Zack baby). While some part of him laments that it reminds him of Dazai and he’s secretly jealous of how she and Dazai bond over it, he will sometimes join in the chaos when the mood strikes him and he’s feeling mischievous

Isaac: How are you feeling? MC: Oh, I’m not Isaac: seconds from dialing 911 Isaac: Are you okay? MC: Oh yeah dw I just suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes you look like you’re an angry serial killer Isaac: say sike rn

Isaac, tutoring MC and correcting something:  MC, muttering while redoing it: The risk I took was calculated, but man am I bad at math. Isaac: unable to help a laugh

One time MC was avoiding Isaac for fear of hurting his feelings and he just confronts her like: Isaac: back by unpopular demand, me! What’s wrong, MC pls MC was so hecking proud of him

Isaac, telling MC about a recent discovery he learned at uni from another professor: bones typically heal stronger after they’ve been broken--so long as they’re set properly, of course MC, looking him dead in the eyes: So what you’re saying is that I should break every bone in my body until I become superhumanly powerful? Isaac: please do not, no

Mozart and Jeanne are just. Totally lost. Why are you talking like that??? Why are you making “crab hands”???? They don’t understand. Maybe never will. They reach a point where they just kind of laugh and shake their heads, endeared by the oddity after they’re used to it and have determined it isn’t a threat/insult. 

MC: It’s a cold and it’s a brooooken, Waluigi. Waaaaluigiiiii...waaaahluigi..... Mozart: surprised, then starts snickering and playing along on the piano

Arthur, asking MC very personal questions out loud because he is an idiot sometimes: Soooo MC, are you a top or a bottom? MC: I’m a threat. (If he asks a second time, the response will be “Wouldn’t you like to know, weatherboy.”) Jeanne, fighting a smile:

MC, about to punch an asshole: Your free trial of being alive has ended Jeanne, seconds from laughing for the first time in 100 years:

Also, because I genuinely can’t help myself. You know that knight meme like “Parry this you fucking casual.” I cannot stress enough that it is literally the personification of Jeanne’s entire character. I’m not even joking.

Arthur and Shakespeare are utterly fascinated by the rapid evolution of wordplay and the sheer hilarity. They will ask all about these so-called “memes” and ask for examples of them if MC can show them (either somehow accessing her phone or drawing them). MC draws Arthur the knife cat meme and he about a s c e n d s at the hilarity of it all, points and yells THEO IS HOLDING THE KNIFE. He is correct. They will be delighted and follow along eagerly, and--god forbid--will make their own based on late 19th century struggles.

Is this where Shakespeare got the idea for “What, you egg? stabs him” and “You are a saucy boy.”? I’m too scared to ask. Don’t even get me started on “The Fool jingled miserably across the floor.” That one is just too on the nose...

I can’t even imagine what would happen to Shakespeare if MC like translated vines and memes into Ye Olde English around him. Imagine she’s at one of those noble balls and hears rumors of these two guys living together and they’re so obviously gay and he says “And those gents w’re roommates.” And in the most false surprised tone ever MC just replies “oh mine own god, those gents w’re roommates.” Imagine having a wife that’s just as hilarious as you are and hits you with all the force of a bag of wet mice every time you speak in retaliation, he’s going into palpitations.

Every time Arthur does smth stupid MC just: “I Pretend I Do Not See It.”

Vincent is tickled pink by MC’s penchant for finding joy and/or amusement in nearly everything they do, and he smiles gently when he sees them muttering and laughing to themselves. He wants to be able to join them in what they love, but he has a harder time following along and understanding the darker humor sometimes. Mostly gets confused??? Please give him the easier ones to mimic and laugh when he tries--or just include him in your jokes MC. He’s babie your honor...

But he also. Will not. Stand any kind of self-deprecation or borderline verbal self-harm. He’s usually very easygoing and calm, but for whatever reason that stuff makes him go deathly quiet and upset.

MC, after something goes horribly wrong, hugging Vincent: Oh Vince, we really in it now Vincent: giggling a little despite his worries, relaxing

MC: Theo stop simping for Vincent that’s my job

MC, when Theo leaves the room and she gets Vincent all to herself: The evil is defeated.

MC: And this is where I would put my will to live...if I h a d one! Vincent: ;-; MC: oh shit, oh fuck, I was only kidding Vincent wait (MC was subsequently lectured and loved on for many hours)

Theo is conflicted because on the one hand, he loves to see you smiling and having fun. On the other, you’re clowning as hard as Dazai and Arthur and he can only handle so many monkeys in his circus. Most of the time he will roll his eyes and be the straight man of this comedy, but you might find him cracking a smile--or accidentally letting a chuckle slip past his lips now and again.

MC, after meeting Theo: I’m a nice person, but I’m about to start throwing rocks at people.

Theo, those first days: Oh? You’re approaching me? Instead of running away, you’re coming right to me? MC: I can’t beat the shit out of you without getting closer.

Theo: Every time I ask MC to explain “vibe check” to me she hits me with some kind of improvised weapon

MC, after the “incident” (you know the one): This year, I lost my dear lover Theo Theo, in the distance: QUIT TELLING EVERYONE I’M DEAD! MC: ;-; sometimes I can still hear his voice...

Sebastian is last because oh boy. OH BOYYYYY I LOVE HIM. Okay so the way I see this happening with Sebastian is just. So wild. Because at first he’s t r y i n g so hard to be the proper butler man. He does not meme. But then he starts to drift closer to what Niles from The Nanny was, where he’ll quip and joke in private or when the situation is just beyond the amount of absurdity he can handle without making a snarky comment. Everyone in the house can’t fathom how Sebas and MC got so close so fast, but there are points where they’re just “Are they even speaking English anymore???” It’s 11 times funnier than normal because Sebas almost never smiles or laughs when memeing, the deadpan quality of his playing along sends MC every time

Has ABSOLUTELY said “HEY. PANINI HEAD. ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME???” jokingly when MC made a mistake in the kitchen. They laugh about it for y e a r s

MC: I can’t date someone who keeps a lamb as a pet, that’s so weird Sebas, brushing Lotte in front of MC: MC: MC: Okay, I will make an exception because she looks very polite

MC and Sebas, fully aware of the fame some of the men will reach in modern times: We will watch your career with great interest.  (I s2g that’s like half of Sebas’ rt right there I’m crying)

Sebas rt with Lotte be like that 500 dollar Mareep meme: “sometimes a family can be just a boy, his gf, and their 500 dollar two foot tall Lotte”

[moving-to-sweet2tangy]

Could I get a hc of either the ikevamp or ikesen boys and their ideal first date? OR what they would describe as their perfect kiss? Thanks!

Sorry for taking a little while but oooh what an interesting ask! I like both of the prompts, but for some reason I felt like doing the kiss one, because smooches are fun! Also since my blog mainly consists of IkeSen imagines I decided to make these IkeVamp. I hope you like them! ❤️💖

[⚜️IkeVamp⚜️ Scenario/Headcanon] How They Kiss 💋

🦅 Napoleon 😴

He’s usually a slow and passionate kisser with a hint of spice.

Like he’ll wrap an arm around your waist or run his hand through your hair as his lips meet yours.

I mean he kisses people in his sleep so he’d naturally be a great kisser while awake, right?

If you manage to turn him on though, expect kisses to be in other places than just your lips if you catch my drift 😉

And they’ll be rough too. Like I’m talking full on hickeys.

He’ll kiss up your arm to your shoulder and to your neck.

Spicy kisses also usually lead to something else. I’ll let you imagine what that is 👀

🎶 Mozart 🎹

His kisses are the shy and tsundere type.

Especially for the first few months of your relationship.

But with more time, they become more affectionate and sweet.

He’s still not too comfortable with PDA but once you’re alone, he won’t hesitate to shower your face with sweet, feathery kisses.

Cuddle kisses galore~!!

You honestly love the feeling of his lips on your skin because they’re so soft and he is fully aware of it.

😘 Leonardo 💤

Leo’s probably one of the best kissers out there.

He knows exactly how to kiss you depending on the situation.

If you’re sad, he’ll give you the most sentimental and reassuring kiss you’ve ever gotten.

When you’re feeling frisky, he will tease you with a rough and passionate kiss that’s short enough to leave you wanting more.

Oh and he will also run his fingers through your hair, maybe giving it a light tug every once in a while.

Overall, you have yourself great kisser!

🎨 Vincent 🌻

This angel gives the sweetest kisses ever!

It’s a package deal: There will be no kiss from him without a warm and tender hug.

To him, hugging while kissing you is a must!

And hugs also last forever! 💖

If he’s in a rush he will stop and give you a quick peck on the cheek while holding your shoulders before running off.

He also loves giving you a soft kiss on the nose. It’s one of his favorite methods for cheering you up when you’re sad (It always works! 💕)

🧳 Theo 🖼

Ok FORREALTHO—

Grumbly kisses are his forte—

When you ask for a kiss he will grumpily mutter something before kissing you.

Tease him more and you will end up with swollen lips 15 minutes later cuz hE WON’T HOLD BACK—

You know that he really loves you too much to resist your charms!

But he will definitely pay you back later by kabedonning you against the wall and making out with you, not caring if anyone sees.

After all, everyone is aware that you’re his Hondje.

💋 Arthur 📖

His kisses are the equivalent of pure carnal lust.

Of course your relationship is more than just lustiness and hunger but sWEET MAMA BAJEEZUS GET A ROOM ALREADY! >////<

He will pin you down on the floor and ravish your lips to the point where it’s hard to even breathe.

If you’re too startled to even react, he will smirk and whisper something in your ear that will for sure make you redder than a strawberry.

If you’re just as naughty as he is and kiss back, you’re definitely in for the night of your life! 😉

🍎 Isaac 🍏

Blushy boi is blushy.

Usually it’s you who has to initiate the kisses.

But then it’s him who makes up for it by hungrily kissing you back.

I mean you could literally just give him a casual peck on the cheek and he’d turn it into make out contest.

But I mean, who can blame him? You’re so stunning that it’s hard for him to control himself.

Sometimes he will think of biting your neck but will never do so (unless you want him to of course,,, 👀)

🖋 Dazai 🎏

When it comes to his favorite kiss, he likes to climb up to your window and kiss you from there.

That’s how he usually kisses you if he’s outside.

It’s super romantic and he sometimes daydreams about the next time he’ll get to do it.

Otherwise he swoops you up in his arms and kisses you passionately.

Your legs usually become jello after that because he’s sUCH A LOVELY SWEET KISSER AND OOPS THERE GOES YOUR HEART— 🥺❤️

⚔️ Jean 😢

Ok so at first he was like ‘Where do I put my mouth,’ but then when you demonstrated he got it.

Of course, that didn’t make him any less shy. It took him some time to come out of his shell and be the one to initiate kisses.

Not that you really minded tho. Whenever you’d kiss him, he would kiss back as if his life depended on it.

Later on tho when he gets used to it, he’s a beast.

Sometimes he gets so into it that you kind of have to remind him that you need to breathe.

He then guiltily apologizes and you’re like nOOO IT’S OK I LIKED IT!! 🥺

Though, when he’s especially in the mood for being gentle, his kisses are soft and feel so sweet. You can’t get enough!

⏳ Comte 💛

Comte is a gentleman, I’m sure that’s already been established.

His kisses are the perfect balance of romantic and sexy.

He won’t overstep his boundaries and will always leave you satisfied.

He can always tell when you want more and he won’t hesitate to give it to you.

He loves holding your waist while doing it.

Oh, and kiss him while you dance in the ballroom. His heart will melt.

💁‍♂️ Sebastian 📔

He’s the kind of guy who would sneak in kisses when nobody’s watching.

Kissing on the job is a guilty pleasure for him.

If you get him riled up enough he will lift you onto the counter and make out with you.

sEBASTIAN OTHER PEOPLE LIVE HERE TOO—

He gets a bit embarrassed if someone catches you guys but to him, it’s still worth it. Hopefully you feel the same! 😉✨

🎭 William 🔪

Kissing him is like being in a play.

It’s super dramatic; the way he cups your face and presses against you while sweeping you up slightly by your waist, stealing your breath away.

bUT it’s not all innocent

He will definitely leave some hickeys here and there in some pretty risky spots, so watch out!

You can’t help but feel yourself melt in his embrace.

He’s the impetuous fire to your ice and desire ✨ (i’m sorry—)

[thetamehistorian]

Extract from the next chapter of The Swiftness of Flight

In which Illya flails at the unexpected intimacy of tying a tie.

“No, no, no that just won’t do.”

With a frown, Illya glanced down at his suit, trying to work out what was wrong with it. Nothing appeared obviously out of place, no mismatched buttons or loose threads. Before he could ask, Napoleon turned sharply on his heel and started rummaging in his own case, withdrawing several ties as Illya and Sacha watched.

There was nothing wrong with his tie. It was stylish and perfectly knotted. None of this stopped Napoleon from approaching, different shades of silk in hand, with a single-minded look of determination on his face.

“Here, one of these should work.”

Napoleon held one of them up against his suit, which Illya tolerated. Then he moved as though to undo his jacket, stepping right into his space and Illya batted his hand away, glaring. The audacity of this man.

“Cowboy,” he said in warning, “I will put you on the floor.”

“Yes, I know,” Napoleon replied, completely ignoring him, swapping out the tie in his hand for one of the others and scrutinising it against the grey of his suit jacket. “You’ve proven that plenty of times in the gym. When I took up your offer of improving my hand-to-hand, I wasn’t expecting quite so many bruises, you know?”

“Cowboy -”

“Be quiet Peril,” Napoleon replied, apparently happy with his choice. “If Rome taught me anything it’s that you have a reasonable grasp on women’s fashion but a terrible taste in men’s.”

The critique caught him so off-guard, his thoughts a mix of baffled and offended, that he didn’t even think to stop his partner as he popped Illya’s collar, removed the tie he had been wearing with a series of quick, economical movements and looped a fresh one around his neck. If he noticed that Illya had gone completely still in the face of having his throat bared and vulnerable, he gave no indication.

As Napoleon tightened the knot, Illya swallowed around a growing lump. The pressure of the ring of fabric around his neck was unnerving. It would be easy, if he were so inclined, for Napoleon to finish the job, to tighten to the point of suffocation. Would he do something to stop him if he tried?

He didn’t need to.

Napoleon’s hands moved away and he stepped back, head tilted ever so slightly, a quirk he must have picked up from Élodie, as he examined the change he had made.

“Much better,” he said.

[ikevampharem]

Ikevamp boys reacting to

👅Lady Dimitrescu 🤤

Very mild spoiler about Theo

*Takes place in modern world*

Comte buys this new game called Resident Evil village for his residents (lmao) Children.....

Just kidding MC asked him to buy it. (Man would probably buy a kidney from black market for her)

Everyone gathers in the game room where Sebastian is setting up the game. Everyone is playing it bit by bit mostly Napoleon, Arthur, Leo, Dazai, Isaac. The rest are just watching cuz they just like to watch others playing it. Except Theo who is snuggling between MC & Vincent cuz he no like gunshots 👀

But that doesn't stop Theo from admiring the ✨Art✨ and the fact how realistic it looks

They continue playing and ended up in Castle Dimitrescu.

They finally got to the point where they encountered Lady Dimitrescu and everyone just has a short circuit in their brain even when they were being hooked up by the hands.

Napoleon

My guy just went 👁👄👁

This is going to haunt him for a long time.

He probably thought it was stupid that ppl fall for fictional characters.

Now he doesn't.

Loves how tall she is.

Secretly has a picture of her in his phone. (Sebastian knows about it)

Isaac

Turns so red that even apples turn green with envy

Can feel it rising

And No that's not his blush

He has Mommy issues

Can't study or research cuz Mommy milkers

She haunts his dreams, so can't sleep.

Mozart

👁👄👁 pt. 2

He just stares and doesn't say anything.

Pretends to be not impressed

Meanwhile Internally :

Jean

He just stutters and watches with ashamed puppy dog eyes.

He likes those juggs

He feels like he is having bloodlust

No ur just horny

He feels horrible and vulgar for liking a monster.

Someone cuddle this baby😭

Dazai

Grins like an idiot

"My, my, she is so tall and gorgeous"

Teases isaac

"She can trample me"

If I was that long, I wouldn't have to climb windows to spy on Ai-chan & isaac-kun

Everyone just stares at him

Arthur

He is the one playing this.

He freezes.

The controller is slipping from his hands before he gripped it tightly.

When he wasn't moving forward everyone looked at him to see what he was doing.

This is what they saw :

Theo : Snap out of it u perv. *Slaps him behind his head*

Arthur : S-S-She got a whole bakery

Theo

Another one that plays it cool

Loves how tall she is.

But is more focused on the graphics.

Kinda uncomfortable with the violence.

Vincent

Gets all blushy.

She is soo pretty Theo!

Has the largest doe eyes atm.

Really likes the scenery.

Leonardo

Literally goes Michael Jackson hehe

"Damn"

"I would love to sleep on those corridors *

Loves how badass she is.

Sketches her

Shakespeare

Literally gasps

oh ma gawd

" stab me with ur nails and hook me" Theo : Tf is wrong with you?!?

"She can step on me" Everyone : ?¿?!¿!!?

So shook he breaks out of his character and talks normal

May spark an interest in horror

Comte

Loves how strong she is.

Also wants be stepped on

"magnifique"

is horny on the inside

Wants to be sat on but won't admit it

Sebastian

Really missed this old games

Doesn't really faze him honestly cuz well it's normal for him.

she's kinda hot tho. 👀

[usergreenpixel]

You know what’s concerning, Citizens and Neighbors? Or rather sad AND concerning. Every time I look up movies related to Frev for reviews, numerous adaptations of Scarlet Pimpernel and A Tale of Two Cities just have to pop up!

Naturally I get why. They fit the topic and their original versions are pretty popular but scrolling past those adaptations and digging up the obscure gems is definitely a pain in the ass in this situation!

(By the way, no, I won’t tackle adaptations of the books I talked about because I don’t feel like rehashing the same points about propaganda all over again and I don’t see the point of doing almost the same thing. I’m also pretty sure nobody in my audience needs to get very similar reviews about every single Scarlet Pimpernel adaptation over and over again!)

Napoleonic era is a bit better in the sense that there’s more original stuff that doesn’t need to be dug up (if you scroll past all the biopics about Naps and War and Peace adaptations) so I usually have an easier time researching Napoleonic topics.

I won’t stop reviews in either of my current categories anytime soon (fuck no), but the process of looking for something original is a nightmare sometimes! At least it’s worth it though.

Oh, and speaking of adaptations. Right now the only time I want to include separate reviews for the original media piece and the adaptations has to do with Rose of Versailles, but that’s mostly due to the differences between the three versions that exist in total.

I already tackled the anime, so only the manga and that movie called Lady Oscar are on my bucket list. I might do more adaptations in the future, but I don’t want to repeat myself so it’s not confirmed.

Anyway, the reviews are coming as I promised, I just needed to vent for a bit. Hit me up if you have any suggestions for fiction I can review, be it Frev or Napoleonic era, or the area in between.

P.S. I have a surprise coming your way tomorrow so stay tuned!

[leonardhoee]

Ikevamp Guys as Villains

Warnings: Mass Murder, Gore...

Tagging: @aurora-morning @delicateikemenmemes @writer-akihiko @nafeary

Napoleon

Napoleon would be a royal dictator. He is the leader of a corrupt, authoritarian regime, hellbent on conquering the world. Think Hela (Thor: Ragnarok or The Darkling (Shadow and Bone). He controls people with his massive armies, and believes he is the only rightful ruler in this world. He believes that the world should be remade in his image so it can be restored to its former glory. He craves power and he will stop at nothing to get it. His armies are tools that swore their lives and souls to his cause. He feels no remorse in sacrificing them for his greater good. The only thing that would satisfy him now, is seeing the world crushed under the heel of his boot.

Leonardo

Leo as a villain would be like Iron Man gone bad. He does what he does simply out of curiosity he wants to see if it would even work. Cyberterrorism is just a tool for him. He would make modifications to his own body so that his eyes can see x-Ray, night vision, and other people’s biological information, and his brain is directly connected to the internet. He would create an entire army of robots like Ultron (Marvel) or Terminators. He hacks into government servers and international television broadcasts. He takes over entire governments simply by sitting in his lab controlling his army from a tablet. He can destroy anything connected to the internet with a flick of his finger. He wouldn’t even have to get up out of his chair. His plans would be so well thought out that no one would realize what happened until they’ve already lost.

Dazai

Dazai would be unhinged and reckless. He’d completely detach himself from human emotions and commit as many insane heinous crimes as possible till he does something bad enough that he would get killed for it. He creates an alternate persona for himself like the Joker or Hisoka (HxH), and at that point he has buried his emotions so well that he fails to differentiate between his persona and his true self. He may not actively acknowledge it but his true goal is to just go out in a blaze. It doesn’t matter how many lives it costs to do so.

Jean

Jean would be walking a fine line between villain and antihero. His main motivation is wiping out the people he considers evil, to make the world a “better place”. However, he would take it to a point of mass murder. There would be major battles breaking out between the people that support him and the people that believe what he is doing is evil. He believes he is bringing divine justice upon those who deserve it and thinks this is the way to atone for his past sins. Sound familiar? Jean would be Kira (Death Note). He is also similar to The Hood (Arrow). He has no mercy and he will not hesitate to kill.

Comte

Comte is rich enough to buy world leaders. He is the puppet master behind every single nation of the world. No one suspects him, however he slowly takes over countries one by one. He would also run some kind of underground mafia operation that’s involved in pretty much every kind of trade there is. He gets his money from so many sources that even if one is cut off, he is still rich enough to maintain his control over politicians and famous businessmen. Comte is the leader of the secret societies that the world’s richest people are involved in. The world answers to him and you would never even know. (Similar to Kingpin (Marvel) and the Court of Owls (DC)

Sebastian

Sebastian was adopted by Comte after ran away from his family. When he was young, hs saw firsthand how cruel the world can really be. He wholeheartedly believes the world is better off being run by Comte, and has pledged complete loyalty to him. He is Comte’s right hand man and he runs most of their underground mafia operations. He is incredibly versatile and does whatever Comte needs from him. Acting as a proxy? Assasinating a world leader? Leading a heist? Sebastian can do it all. His ideals have been so skewed growing up with Comte, that he sees himself as an extension of Comte’s power. Nothing more. He is a loyal weapon to be used by his boss.

Vincent

Vincent would release his emotions and would be unable to handle it mentally. He would be a serial killer who escaped from an asylum after losing his mind. He would kidnap his victims and slowly bleed them out as he paints with their blood. His specialty is carving designs into his victims after they have bled out and died. He leaves a sunflower at every crime scene and each new murder is just his latest artistic masterpiece left for the world to see. One way or another his art will be remembered, and it will cause the whole world to feel as much as he does.

Theo

Theo is driven by rage. Rage towards the world, towards the way he and Vincent were treated. His strength and anger would translate into him having an incredibly powerful monstrous form. His only goal is destruction. He wants to tear apart the society that allows people to get hurt like he did. He would be similar to Venom (Marvel), Abomination (Marvel), or Eren (Attack on Titan). Blinded by rage, he looses sight of his original goal and devoted himself to destroying everything he sees. It doesn’t matter who gets killed, they’re just collateral damage.

Isaac

Isaac can be two different types of villains all in one. On one hand, he’s a mad scientist who happened to discover a chemical combination that can be weaponized. However his insatiable bloodlust drives him to weaponize his discovery for himself. He wants people to know fear like he does (think Scarecrow (Batman). I can see him laying with Leonardo and helping upgrade his robot army with that chemical. On the other hand, when he lets himself give in to that bloodlust, he won’t stop unless he is stopped by someone else (like ripper Stefan from Vampire Diaries). He rips apart his victims like a wild animal. His crime scenes are covered in blood with dismembered body parts.

Mozart

Mozart would be an assassin for hire. He’s like a ghost. There have been stories about him but no one truly knows who he is. He works in the shadows and kills efficiently and without hesitation. One of his specialties is creating various sound waves that can kill his target. For those type of kills he doesn’t even need to leave his base, he can simply hack their device and cause it to play that frequency. Comte has hired him before to carry out certain kills he couldn’t do himself because of his position. Mozart is extremely devoted to his job will kill anyone who gets in the way of him and his target.

Arthur

Arthur would be a mix between Moriarty and Kilgrave (Jessica Jones). He would have some kind of mind controlling ability that allows him to create loyal puppets for his elaborate schemes. He loves playing games with the people suspecting him and he leads them in circles with their investigations. Sometimes he will even offer to personally help investigate cases he is responsible for, just to lead them into dead ends and plant fake clues. Every crime of his is a masterpiece with countless layers going into it. He does not see the people involved as humans. They’re just his pawns in his game of chess. Arthur just wants to see how far he can go before he finds a worthy opponent that can solve his cases.

Shakespeare

Shakespeare would be a theatrical serial killer who later escalates to mass murder. He would start out by abducting people he believes to “fit the role” he has planned for them. He would then kill them, replicating famous death scenes from plays and movies he admired (or his own plays). Each crime scene would be perfectly set up with lighting, makeup, and costuming. This would escalate later on to him and his troupe taking massive groups of people hostage, forcing them to read lines and act out various gruesome plays. When someone dies in the play, the actors have to murder each other. If they refuse, Shakespeare murders them both out of rage and brings in new people to replace them. He will not stop until he creates his perfect play.

[otomehoes]

S/O who can fence — Leonardo, Comte, Napoleon, Arthur and Jean

pairings: reader x comte, leonardo x reader, napoleon x reader, arthur x reader and jean x reader

warnings: use of weapons, mentions of nsfw [napoleon’s part], mentions of violence [jean],

A/N: rn I feel ✨blessed✨ with this request ahdhdh, also I had to study a little bit about fence things and movements

❥ Leonardo Da Vinci

actually he didn’t know that you fences until he saw you one day sneaking out to the practice room where napoleon and jean used to fence

his curiosity is bout to kill him so he follows you to see what you are up to

but when he sees you with napoleon fencing so fiercely but at the same time so elegantly

oh god he can’t stop staring at you

when you notice him you can’t help but feel shy

HES BOMBARDING YOU WITH QUESTIONS

also proud really really proud

you always liked april because of its fresh days. also because you could go to fence without getting worried about the weather. it was a secret that you wanted to keep for yourself. not because you felt embarrassed or anything, but fencing was something that always made you feel confident, it was only you and your fast movements towards your opponent .

however that day it was different. you didn’t know that your beautiful and curious boyfriend leonardo was following you. it was normal for you to disappear a few hours once a week. he was walking when he saw you running towards the practice room where sometimes napoleon or jean went to practice fencing. with light steps Leonardo followed you like a shadow.

his eyes went wide when he saw you. napoleon was fencing with someone, he couldn’t see who it was, until he saw through the fencing mask a long and silky (h/c) hair. and then he knew who was napoleon opponent. but what took his breathing was how fast and how elegant was your movements, the way you moved and how you thrusted your attacks toward the former french emperor threatening and pushing him towards the edge, made him so proud that he couldn’t keep hiding anymore and revealing himself to the both of you.

you saw a shadow moving behind you, you took a glance to see who it was, surprised you saw how leonardo was standing at the door looking at you with sparking eyes. you regretted your actions when you saw the tip of his foil pointing at you. with a sigh you dropped your fencing weapon, showing your defeat.

you heard a few steps coming from behind, turning you saw leonardo smiling at you “cara mia, you should have told me you knew fencing, next time I’ll be more careful to not make you mad” he said while you punched slightly at his arm trying to cover the hard blush you had. leonardo only knew that his beautiful girlfriend was a really interesting woman who always managed to surprise him even more.

❥ Comte de Saint-Germain

he knew it

but he respected your privacy

he didn’t told you, but the reason that he made the fencing room more big and with new equipmentit was because of you

sometimes he went to see you, but secretly

when you told him he did as he never knew

pikachu meme face

his respect for you will only grew to a 5000%

“mademoiselle you’re really amazing, it the first time that I find someone who can keep up with me” jean’s eyes were full of admiration while he praised you. with a blush you thanked him, at first it was hard to convince jean to practice some fencing with you, he thought that he would end up hurting you, but you assured him that you would be alright.

what the both of you didn’t know was how a pair of caramel eyes observed all your movements. with a smile comte turned back to his office knowing that in a few minutes you’ll be there with him. his heart was beating so fast that he couldn’t even think properly, your elegants moves, the way you dodged all the attacks that jean sent to you was something breathtaking. his love for you only grew more and more. he knew he did right falling in love with you, not only your heart was strong but your body too, and the fierce way you attacked jean proved how much he admired his beautiful girlfriend.

running towards comte’s room you arrived at the entrance of the door. you didn’t see how much time passed since you started to practice with jean. your fencing skills was a secret that you wanted to keep to yourself, and the only person who knew about that was jean and napoleon, the first one whom you often staying long hours practicing.

carefully you knocked his door to proceed with opening it , you saw comte looking at some papers with a frown, probably more letter from leonardo’s family. sometimes you felt bad for the renaissance man and for comte too, who had to write or burn another pile of letters.

“Abel, you should take a break, come here with me” you said while walking towards the sofa. his eyes meet yours and with a smile he went towards you sitting next to you with an elegance that could steal anyone’s breathe.

“also... sorry for being so late” you said looking at him, his eyes inspected yours, looking for an explanation. “well, I’ve been wanting to tell you this from a long time ago, but I never found the right moment” taking a deep breath you prepared yourself “once or twice a week I go with jean or napoleon to practice some fencing, nothing too dangerous”

“and did you had fun today?” he asked you, you looked at him surprised, you didn’t expect him to be this calm, and then you saw it, it was just a second, but that tiny and momentary spark in his eyes told you everything “you knew it don’t you?” you asked him, a smile appeared on his lips “yes, but you know what chérie? knowing that you can defend yourself so fiercely only makes me fall more and more in love with you”

“s-shut up d-don’t be dumb” you told him while trying to evade his intense gaze, your ears burning like fire. it didn’t matter how but he always made you feel so amazing, and that was one between of the uncountable reasons that you loved him.

❥ Napoleon Bonaparte

he’s proud of his nunuche

it’s something normal to see the two of you fencing til death

won’t admit it but he sometimes goes easy on you

that’s until you start teasing him

so yeah most of your sparring seasons ends up with the both of you lying on the floor trying to breathe properly

it was common to meet up with napoleon wednesdays and fridays at the sparring room. “if you want to evade more faster the attacks flex your knees a little bit more, it’ll be more easy to move too” while his face had a serious facade, his eyes were soft. napoleon loved this. spending time with the person he loved only made his heart to beat so fast that he sometimes wondered if he would die right there.

following your boyfriend’s advice you flexed a little more your legs, a felling of comfort appearing on your body. he really knows even when it’s not his own body. A mischievous grin appeared on your face, the odds for your idea to success were low, but it was worth trying it.

“let’s make a bet” your voice echoed the room, napoleon looked at you curious before adding “tell me”.

“if I lose this round, I’ll be at your mercy the whole night, any wish will be fulfilled by me” you smiled and winked at him before continuing “but if win, you will be at my mercy, I can request anything, what do you think? deal or not deal”

and now there you were, both of you lying on the ground, trying to catch your breathing and laughing at the same time, you looked at napoleon, he seemed to relaxed, so free, sometimes you cursed at yourself for not having a camera to take a photo. the view was worthy, really worthy. his eyes met yours, a smile appearing on his beautiful lips “let’s say that we’re both the winners” he said while getting up while offering his hand to you to do the same thing.

moments like this were really worthy.

❥ Arthur Conan Doyle

he discovered in the worst situation ever

it was past midnight when the Arthur decided to pay a visit to you

nah he was just horny

entering at you room without making any sound who could startle you he tried to went towards your bed when the tip which seemed from a sword was pointing in the middle of his face

he was ✨shocked✨

and screamed

actually his soul almost left his body

when you saw it was him you started to apologize like a crazy

he totally forgot why he went to your room

he made a mental note to not storm like that at your bedroom anymore

you were supposed to be sleeping, but for any reason your body didn’t want to. but something told you that probably it was because of dazai’s yōkai story. with a sigh you closed the windows and started to prepare yourself to go to bed. that was until you heard a tiny but almost inaudible footsteps at the corridor. each step seemed to be more and more closer to your door.

the probably that someone could be up at this hour was almost impossible, you thought about arthur, but he told you that he probably would go to bed earlier because he had some business to attend at the town tomorrow.

in times like that you felt grateful for the infernal fencing classes that your parents told you to attend when you were younger. with careful steps, you stood behind the door, with your foile in hand. and then the door opened, with fast reflexes you pointed at the ghost- wait, at the person, you heard a scream which made you scream too, turning the lights on you saw arthur with a surprise face almost terrified.

“OH– ARTHUR IM SO SORRY” you screamed throwing the foile and taking with both of your hands you boyfriends handsome face “oh god oh god, I really thought you were a ghost or something, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry!”

taking a big breath arthur looked at you, now more composed and calm “tell me, did you want something” you talked taking his hand with yours, he looked at you, and then at the door “I- I don’t remember”

❥ Jean D’Arc

he didn’t expect it at all

he didn’t have words

just like Arthur he found out in the worst situation

it was one of your late night walkings when a group of three men approached to the both of you

feeling the danger jean wrapped an arm around you his jaw tensed and his hand on the tip of his sword

he saw that the other man had one too

he told you to hide

after the incident sometimes asks you to fence with him sometimes

it’s just an excuse to spend time with you

“jean I think that they’re following us” you told your boyfriend, his grip on your shoulder tensed up, his beautiful purple eyes were darker, jaw clenched “mademoiselle when I give you the sign you run, okay?”

you looked at jean and then the three man, something caught your eye. the man on the left had a sword, a big one. you knew that that classes that fencing classes would be worthy in the future. you looked at jean who was prepared to defend you from that group of men. but who would protect him, without thinking further and with a fast movement you took the man’s sword elegantly pointing at him death in the eye.

there weren’t three surprised faces but four, jean’s face got totally decomposed, surprise written on his face. he never, not in a million of years would ever imagine you being able to handle a sword with that determination “jean I appreciate your concern about my well-being but if you protect me, who will protect you?”

and with that words the soldier was preparing a whole wedding inside his head. you made him see all the good thing in the world, and he swore for his life that he would protect that perception of the world for you. but for the first time, in many years he let his pride and stubbornness apart, he promised to himself that he would never let you go. not you, not his warrior angel.

— yōkai or 妖怪 are a class of supernatural monsters and spirits in Japanese folklore. The word 'yōkai' is made up of the kanji for "bewitching; attractive; calamity" and "spectre; apparition; mystery; suspicious."