#When will i ever stop making so many tags?

[gotham-daydreams]

Not Now (PT. 1)

[Platonic! Yandere! Neglectful Batfam × Gender Neutral! Sibling Reader]

[Warnings: Mentions of Neglect, Mild General Yandere(ish) Behavior, Mild Arguing, Awkward Tension(?)]

(Sorry, forgive and forget isn't an option anymore. Sort of proofread and lightly edited. If you thought the 2nd chapter was long, you're in for a little treat. A little more focus on Dick this time with some sprinkles of the others, and a bit of Tim in the beginning. Meeting some of the reader's friends now. The 2nd part is longer... and sort of where the 'real' stuff happens, but this part of the chapter is still important imo. Take your time reading this, and remember to take breaks!)

Tags: @bigcandlesmolbrain, @d4mi3nn , @mindscape123, @143637-hrrm, @lilyalone, @ceramic-raven , @bruhfan-3 , @i-thirsty-boi , @yandere-enthusiast , @1mawh0re , @vanessa-boo , @agent-nobody-knows , @myeagleexpert , @waitingforanarchicaddiction , @mottysith , @simpingfor-wakasa , @imjustheretogetalif , @toast-on-dandelioms , @instantmiraclekryptonite , @luvr0cksadie , @littlefeather345 , @generosityheart , @emmbny , @sereinitysmind , @love-zami , @angstylittleb1tch , @kiiyoooo , @andrasia , @aenishas , @gyarukitti , @ash1 , @samohxt2-0 , @books-are-everything , @kurai-hono-blog , @veryrascalbiscuitbagel , @lavender-moony

@vikkus-main, @ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhha, @iloveanimeandkpop7, @spacecerealbowl,

If you aren't tagged then I'm sorry! I may have missed you, or tumblr was being weird and it wouldn't work :']

Chapter 3 of this post. Chapter 2. Part 2. [Series Masterlist]

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The night was young when everything went to chaos.

The streets were empty for a change, with no one daring to step outside. With those who once roamed them making an effort to quickly step inside, and wait out the rest of the night. Deciding to be more careful, and not tempt fate one too many times for once.

There was something different about tonight, that much everyone knew, but what exactly was going on was anyone's guess. Something was in the air that made it thicker, and harder to breathe. The atmosphere felt different, and weighed down on the city's residents. No civilian or thug was safe from the sudden change and the effects it had on Gotham. Not to mention that the vigilantes — the people who dared to protect Gotham during its darkest hours — seemed more focused than usual. 

Not in the way where they were more focused on targeting crime in Gotham, and getting rid of her more corrupted and infectious roots, but in some… other way. Like they were focusing on one particular thing, and ignoring everything else in the process. 

What that thing is, no one knew, but most were wary and cautious enough to not get in the way. Unwilling to find out what would happen if they got caught in the crossfire of whatever was happening.

However, this is still Gotham. Where some saw danger, others saw opportunity. So they tried to start something, thinking they could sneak right past the heroes of the city, and fly under their radar more easily compared to previous nights because of how focused they seemed to be on something else. 

Yet, just as the fire began to lit, it was snuffed out.

A heavy stomp stopped the flames from even daring to light, killing it before it could even think to rise. The stomp itself coming down much more swiftly and heavier than before, digging the thugs it hit into the ground. They, the vigilantes who dared to protect Gotham and their citizens night after night, were harsher that way. More brutal than the city had ever seen them before, and that was quick to kill off some sparks that were trying to light. They were quicker, faster, and hit a whole lot harder. As if just wanting to get things over with, and quickly move on. 

It was almost like they were rushing, and whoever thought that wouldn't be entirely wrong.

They just wanted to put all of their time and energy into finding you, but still had half a mind to take care of the crime in Gotham. Since, they'd have to deal with it anyway if they wanted things to go as smoothly as possible. Not to mention the off chance that some thugs could be messing with you, and so they'd get to swoop in and save you if they ever ran into such an altercation. Though, they didn't want to run around and just hope for that chance, so they also chose certain places and people to interrogate and search for. Taking out any and all thugs as well as minor criminals along the way.

As if anyone in their way was doomed from the day they were born, and dared to step foot in Gotham. As if they were cursed the very moment they dared to live in this damned city at all.

Nevertheless, some went after your teachers while others went to search through places you had been to for one reason or another. Whether it was for a performance or otherwise, it didn't matter. The fact that you had been there before was the only detail they cared about.

Finding you, and any information about you came first. Everything else was secondary.

That's why Tim was more focused on trying to find more… personal information about you. From your email, to where you lived, and who your friends are — he wanted to know everything. Even if he already had your phone number, you weren't responding or picking up whatsoever. Which wasn't exactly helping him calm down. 

If only he could track your phone somehow-

["You have any new information yet?"]

Jason suddenly spoke up, making Tim scoff and narrow his eyes at the computer screen he was looking at, as if it was Jason's face. 

How annoying.

"You've asked that question several times in the last fifteen minutes."

["And? Do you have any new information, or what?”]

Tim could only roll his eyes, having been scrolling through so many social media posts and pages, that he had lost count of exactly how many he had gone through or looked at. All he knew was that the total amount was quickly approaching triple digits.

Anything mentioning you caught his interest, and eventually he had found your public account — which, as expected, just held dates for your performances and when a new album or song of yours would be coming out. There were also a few previews of songs you would be playing at the time, had written, or both, and as much as Tim would like to listen to them all, he couldn't. Not right now anyway. He had to focus, for you.

… Though he'd keep it in mind for later.

"Besides more places where Y/n has performed, and when? No. Who could've guessed."

Jason scoffs, which almost made Tim smile a little but he quickly wiped it off his face, focusing again.

["Guys, let's not fight, alright? Just focus on finding Y/n."]

Dick suddenly spoke as well, the sounds of a fight slowly dying down could faintly be heard in the background.

["I'm not trying to start a fight, but y'know what would help with finding Y/n? Some fucking new information."]

["Language!" Dick sighs before continuing, "Look, just calm down-"]

["I am calm."]

["-and focus. We'll find them."]

Jason clicks his tongue, clearly getting upset. 

Tim couldn't say much, seeing as he's already a bit upset himself, but that wasn't really saying much either. All of them were getting progressively frustrated and annoyed, but it was the source of those feelings that were different for each and every one of them. You were a big part of it, of course, but their anger wasn't directed towards you — not for Tim, anyway. Never.

Rather, it's the factors that surrounded you, and maybe their hate and guilt towards themselves, and what they've missed in your life — is what really drove them to try as hard as they are now. They all want to see you, but they have their own separate reasons despite how similar they may seem.

["How the hell can you be so sure? They could be getting killed, or being tortured right now. We need to find them as soon as possible- and you'll never guess what we need for that to happen."]

Tim could practically hear the eye roll in Jason's voice.

["We're all trying to find Y/n as fast as we can! Have a little faith, they can fight-"]

["You don't actually believe that, right?"]

["..."]

Dick's silence spoke volumes, but some of them understood it better than others, because they feel the same way. Fighting in tournaments and in controlled environments is different than fighting out in the streets, and in Gotham no less. No amount of trophies or medals could change their minds on that. Nothing could.

["See? Even you don't believe it."]

[Dick sighs, "Look, let's just keep looking while Babs and Tim grab more information, alright? We have to be patient."]

["That's reeeal rich coming from the guy who rushed out of the fucking Manor, the very second he heard Alfred didn't know where Y/n was. Weren't you the first one to start looking for them in the city?"]

["Y/n isn't going to be dead in the next few minutes, Jason-"]

["You don't fucking know that."]

Again, a brief silence passes as Dick just sighs again.

["Grayson does have a point, Todd."]

Damian spoke up, causing Tim to roll his eyes almost instinctively. Just remembering that he was technically working with the youngest Wayne, made his mood worsen. Though he just pushed his annoyance to the side, and continued his search. 

If it were up to him, he wouldn't be working with half of the family, but that's the thing — he didn't have a choice. None of them really did. Finding you was just that important to them. You, in general, had become that important to them, and in just a few mere hours no less. Even if it left a few of them biting their tongues, and hiding their clear distaste for having to work with certain people. Still, they tried to work together to the best of their ability.

Tim just took a breath, still listening in on the conversation as he scrolls through even more websites and pages. A collection of photos and announcements leading him down a rabbit hole of posts, and finding some accounts that Tim was beginning to think belonged to your friends with how often they commented, the things they'd say, and how you'd respond. Even if the majority of those comments were on older posts, it was still something. So, he dug deeper.

Eventually, he came to the conclusion that your personal account was private. Since, he found one of the accounts he thought belonged to one of your friend's, and they mentioned an account Tim couldn't access. Of course, he hacked it and got in, but there still wasn't anything of use from what he could see. The occasional pictures were nice, even if they didn't show your face too often, but they didn't give him any information he could use to locate you. Hell, even the account itself didn't have a set location listed, and nor did your email. With the only thing he could gather from posts you privated being that you were still in Gotham, at the very least.

However it did seem like you not only didn't post too often, but were careful about what you posted even on your private account. Not to mention who you posted about as well, and how you worded things. As if you knew someone would be looking through your posts someday, and try to find you. As if you knew Tim would be looking through your page, and try to find you by the little bits of information he thought you'd accidentally leave behind. However, all he found was mostly inconclusive with his current objective. The most he could gather was that you either lived in an apartment, were staying with a friend, or settling at various hotels and such just to have a roof over your head. Though not much else.

Sighing, he kept looking.

Just where are you?

["Oh yeah? How so, demon spawn?"]

["Jason-!"]

["L/n knows how to fight, they can surely take care of themself for a few minutes." Damian states. Cutting off Dick, and ignoring the name Jason used to refer to him.]

["Oh, so you believe that?" Jason scoffs.]

["I haven't been given a reason to think otherwise."]

["Right. Okay. So let's say that Y/n isn't dead for a second here. Do you know how many enemies they could potentially have? Or just how many people want them dead? They're known as a Wayne kid, and a musician too, apparently. Anyone could be after their head, or want to squeeze some money out of them for all we know. How are they supposed to fight against threats like that?"]

["And you think they aren't prepared for that? With how much time has passed, I doubt they'd still remain ignorant to such risks. Especially with the career they've chosen as well." Damian scoffs, as if frustrated and offended on your behalf, "No wonder L/n left."]

["Damian!" Dick exclaims, the youngest Robin's words clearly uncalled for.]

["What? You don't truly believe they just ‘ran away’. Do you, Grayson? Even Father doesn't believe such nonsense."]

Tim could only remain silent, but he had suspected as much as well. He didn't particularly enjoy agreeing with Damian, but for a change, it seemed that they were on the same page. 

After all, the more Tim looked, and the deeper his research went, the possibility of you having left, instead of ran away, was turning into a clear certainty. Not to mention that various details he noticed in different posts, seemed to indicate that you had no intentions of coming back home, further proving that thought to be true.

It wasn't really even through posts you made either, but instead posts your friends had made. Various pictures and videos shared on their accounts showing the pieces of your life that the family had missed out on. Showing Tim what he had missed out on. 

From parties and celebrations that were held for your accomplishments and your friend's, to events you attended with them instead of someone from your family. To smaller things such as various study sessions that were held, sleepovers and all the fun activities you did with your friends, to sneaky photos taken of you practicing, and how nervous you used to be behind stage — only to later show how confident and comfortable you had grown in more recent pictures.

He saw your life and nearly every part of it he had missed through someone else's eyes. Through the camera lens that captured how much fun you had, or just how happy you were during the time the photo was taken, or how calm you looked as you set up your instrument and prepared to play it, and how focused you became when you did. Videos that showed you getting into the zone, and displaying your amazing skill and talent that Tim never saw up until now. That the rest of the family never knew about until recently, just because they couldn't put a few seconds to the side to even try and give your music a listen. Just because they never made time for you, and now they were finally paying the price for it. Finally realizing what they had truly lost, and why the occasional, soft melodies that would play at night had stopped entirely.

They had pushed you away, and you left. That was the true reality of the situation.

Yet the others didn't seem to believe it, or maybe refused to. Seeing as no one dared to say anything else for a few moments.

["... Bruce?" Dick hesitantly spoke up, he clearly didn't want to think about it. Let alone consider it.]

A heavy sigh could be heard before Bruce said anything. 

["It's a possibility." His cold, calculated voice pierced through the air. It was less clear, but he didn't seem too fond of the idea either.]

["'Possibility'? Father, you can't be serious-" Damian tries to speak up, only to get cut off.]

["Exactly! Yeah! It's only a possibility, and we won't know for sure unless we find them." Stephanie pitches in, clearly trying to stay a little positive despite the situation.]

["Right…" Dick took a breath, "Well, what do you think, Tim?"]

"..."

Tim's silence said everything, and besides, he was much too focused on a particular thing he managed to find to really be paying attention anyway.

["... Tim?"]

["To think that Drake would be the only other sensible person here. Unbelievable."]

["Look- we don't know for sure, okay? But anyway, how did the interrogation go? Find out anything?"]

The rest of the conversation fell into the background. Tim would roll his eyes, but again, something else had caught his attention, seeing as he found a rather peculiar post.

On one of your friends' accounts, there was a post that showed you and two other people. All of you were wearing formal clothes, and stepping out of a theater that Tim recognized. The person taking the selfie had an arm wrapped around your shoulders, and he noted that they were the owner of the account. The other person was hugging your arm, and did bunny ears behind your head. All of you were smiling, and you looked so… happy..

Tim shook his head, and just focused on the individual hugging your arm. He didn't recognize them, not completely anyway, but noticed how their account was tagged in the post, and how it was an account he hadn't looked into yet. So, he went to their page and scrolled through their various posts. A particular detail already catching his interest as he scrolled down.

This person seemed to spend a lot of time with you…

Not that your other friends didn't, but this person seemed to have more posts with you in them, compared to the other accounts Tim has looked through thus far. There were many photos of you both hanging out, with some other personal posts sprinkled in here and there — but Tim isn't here for that. He's looking for you, so of course he ignored posts that didn't involve you.

Most of the photos showed you both hanging out and doing various activities together. With Tim's heart squeezing the more he saw, and further began to realize just how much of your life he had missed. Though he pushed it all to the side, just as he has been doing this entire time.

He could feel terrible about all the nights you spent away from home, and how no one noticed, later. He could feel guilty about all the time he's wasted not being with you when given the chance after he found you. 

Only then, once you were safe again, once you were home, would he allow himself to feel the full weight of all he hadn't done. Though only when you were home, would he let himself fully see and realize just how little of an impact he had on your life. How he may as well have just been nothing but a figment of your imagination with how often he was present, along with everyone else.

Though, for that, he had to find you first, and he will, so he kept looking.

Eventually, he did stumble across a curious post. One that not only confirmed his suspicions, but also gave the most important piece of information Tim could've found right now.

It was another photo taken without your knowledge, seeing as your back was facing the camera, and a bit of your friend's face could be shown. You were moving some boxes into a building, and your friend seemed to be covering their mouth with their other hand — as if they had been laughing and were trying to cover it up. The caption of the post said how you lost a bet, and now had to move in most of the boxes yourself, but how they'd help you if they saw you genuinely struggling. Only to put in parentheses how viewers of the post shouldn't tell you that. 

However, what caught his interest was the text on the image itself, and what parts of the building were shown.

['First day of moving in!!! Already making my bestie hate me by having them do all of the work♡ They're the best! Look at them go ♡♡'] The text in the photo read, with the building itself having a number, among various other details to suggest that it was an apartment building. 

Tim felt his heart leap to his throat. No way, had he really…? No. No, he couldn't get his hopes up, but he searched for the building by using the other photos your friend had taken that eventually got him a street name and number. It didn't even take him a minute to find the exact building that perfectly mirrored the one in your friend's photo. 

He tried to not work himself up too much, as he didn't waste any time finding the building's security system, and hacking into it. He didn't want to get his hopes up, only to end up disappointed. He didn't want to think about certain things or make up assumptions, only for them to turn up untrue. Yet, his heart rate increased as his hands began to shake despite his efforts.

No way, he thought. No way.

Getting into the system was a breeze, but Tim could hardly focus on that as he immediately looked through the building's security footage. He matched the dates of both the post and footage, and found you bringing in boxes, just as the photo had shown.

He watched you go into the elevator and took note of what floor you went up to, and eventually what apartment you walked into as well once you got there. Tim even observed as you took a second to yourself, sighing before going back down, and doing the process all over again — and even how you had to use the stairs at one point. Seeing as your friend had the bright idea to 'race' you, and see who could get most of the remaining boxes to the apartment in the least amount of time. It was a close tie, and your friend had won, but that's besides the point.

Tim went through other footage just to make sure he had the right information, and knew for certain that you lived in this particular apartment with your friend. For all he knew, you could've just offered to help them move in that day, so he had to be sure. He had to be certain. He couldn't afford to be wrong this time around.

Yet with all the footage he was able to review, and all the dates getting closer and closer to the current day, he was able to confirm it. He saw you walk in and out of that exact apartment on that exact floor, and leave and enter that exact building multiple times. With the amount of time that's passed, it made sense — even if Tim couldn't figure out where you had stayed between the few weeks you had presumably left the Manor and when you moved in with your friend, but that hardly mattered now. What did matter is that he found out where you live, and now had your address.

He almost couldn't believe it, staring at the document where he has been listing all of the information he's gathered from this search. 

Having just finished writing down your address, it all felt so unreal.

He's done it. He's finally done it.

"Holy shit." Tim cursed under his breath, disbelief clear in his voice.

["Language, Tim."]

Bruce's voice suddenly sounded, causing Tim to jump before he quickly tried to settle down. 

"Right, sorry." He apologized, placing a hand over his racing heart. God, that scared him more than it should've.

["Did you find anything?"]

Someone tsked at the question – while Tim just looked at his screen, still processing all that's happened, and suddenly feeling unsure. 

Should he just keep this to himself, so that he could go after you? The others didn't know where you live… they didn't have to know yet. This was a golden opportunity — should he really be giving this up?

["With how long it's been? And all he's been able to find out? We'll be lucky if he even knows if Y/n is dating or not."]

["Jason, c'mon.." Dick tried to pitch in, dragging on.]

["What? I'm just saying-"] 

"I know where Y/n lives." He found himself blurting out, Jason's words irritating him more than they would've. More than they should've.

["... Really? Where are they, Tim?" Dick didn't waste a moment to ask.]

["Yeah, just spill already so we can go get them."]

["Send me their location."]

["Send me the info too!"]

Tim could only sigh, rubbing his temple as he tried to collect his thoughts. Of course he just had to run his mouth before thinking things over. Of course he had to let that little comment get to him. Of course he just had to allow it to get to him so much that it made him give up the most important piece of information he had found out tonight. 

Of course. Just great.

["Guys, I don't think it's a good idea for all of you to just go and see Y/n."]

Barbara finally spoke up, voice calm and collected. 

["Why? I mean, I get that seeing the whole family all at once might be a little overwhelming… but I don't see why a few of us can't go." Dick questioned.]

["Because it's been months since they've last seen any of us? There's a reason why they haven't gone back to the Manor, and still haven't picked up your or Tim's calls."]

["... You're not saying-"]

["I'm just suggesting that maybe only one of you should go to kind of… test out the waters. We can't be sure of anything, and the best way to see how we should go about things is to know how Y/n feels about us first."]

["But we need to bring them home, they're not safe out here." Jason pointed out, already not liking the idea.]

["I know, but we can't just show up and expect them to comply because we're family. For all we know, they might-"]

["Okay! Um, I think we get it now." Stephanie interrupted, the idea already bothering her.]

["Fine, then I'll go." Jason proposed, sounding like he was just finishing up taking out a few thugs, if the faint noises in the background were anything to go by.]

"And why's that? I already have the location, so I'll go." Tim pointed out, already gathering his stuff, preparing to leave as quickly as he could.

["Because if they try anything, I'll be able to stop them. What're you going to do with your scrawny, lanky arms?"]

"They won't fight me, Jason." Tim sighed, as if that was obvious, "and besides, I thought you didn't think they could fight anyway?"

["I don't, but anyone could take you down without even trying."]

["Jay! Ugh," Dick groans, "Look, I'll go, okay?"]

["Oh yeah? And why should you go instead of me?"]

["Because at least I won't scare them off, and if anything happens then I can handle it too."]

["I'm going." Bruce stepped in, speaking as if the decision was already made.]

["If Father is going, then so am I." Damian chipped in.]

["The last person Y/n needs to see right now is definitely you, demon spawn." Jason scoffed.]

["You'll just scare them before you even get a word in, Bruce!" Dick tried to reason.]

["Hey, um, what if I go instead? At least I won't intimidate them or push them to come with us too hard." Stephanie suggested.]

Tim sighed, "Look, I can go and reason with them. Again, I already have the location so it makes sense-"

["No." Bruce said flatly.]

"But why!?"

["Father already said that he and I are going to see L/n," Damian stated, as if it was obvious, with a small scoff. Adding on, "Todd may also have a point."]

"So?! I already have the information, and I already said that Y/n won't fight me!"

["We can't say for sure what they will and won't do," Dick said, trying to deescalate the situation, "like Babs said, it's been a while. We don't know how they'll react or how they feel about us."]

["Is this you just trying to seem reasonable, so you can go see them first?" Jason asked, unconvinced.]

["What?! Of course not-!"]

["You're not really convincing anyone here, Dick…" Stephanie pointed out.]

The back and forth went on for a while. None of them could come to an agreement, as they all want to see you. They all want to be the first to actually meet you, and to experience what they all have found out about you first hand. Even if certain individuals were more guilty of that than others, the point still remained. 

They just want to see you so much, could you really blame any of them?

Barbara sighed at the chaos, the arguments and defenses just getting more and more ridiculous. Eventually, just boiling down to certain people trying to prove that they want to see you more compared to others, and therefore should be the first to see you.

They all miss you, or desperately want to see the idea of you that they had created in their heads, but that wasn't a valid reason for why they should go and see you either. Especially considering how important this meeting would be. Since it would change and determine a lot of things, depending on how well or awful it went.

"Guys, look, just- whoever's the closest to the location should go." Barbara suggested with another sigh, which thankfully caused the constant arguing to stop for now. 

["Fine, alright then." Tim agreed, albeit reluctantly.]

Barbara could only be a little thankful for the cooperation, but slowly grew confused at the silence that followed.

"Tim?" She asked, only to get another sigh as a response.

["It's Dick."]

["What? Really?!" Dick exclaimed, clearly happy at this turn of events.]

["Yes." Tim confirmed with a small groan, the frown evident in his voice.]

"Well, that settles it. Dick, you're going. Tim, send him the address. The right address, okay? We don't need more arguments or complications on this." Barbara says, "Don't push them too hard. The last thing we need is for their opinion of us to get worse, Dick."

["I know, I know. It'll be fine! I've got this!" Dick still sounded a little too happy, before suddenly going quiet.]

Barbara could only hope for the best at this rate.

["Did he seriously just turn off his comm link, and leave?" Jason asked as his voice rose, clearly upset.]

["Seems like it. Can't say I'm surprised since he sounded reallly happy to be able to see Y/n." Stephanie confirmed, sighing softly.]

["This is going to go poorly." Damian grimaced with another scoff.]

["Yeah, well, we can only hope he doesn't mess up too badly."]

["Let's try to think a little realistically, Tim." Jason said.]

Barbara just let out a huff as she looked at the screens in front of her. A little hope never killed anyone, but really, she didn't have a good feeling about this.

Maybe Dick really wasn't the best choice.

—

You were still calmly sitting in your apartment, messing around with the instrument in your hands. Since you've been switching between the ones you have every now and again, trying to find a particular melody you were looking for, but hadn't found just yet. You didn't have easy access to as many instruments as you did a few months ago, but you learned to work with what you had. Having taken home the very first instrument you bought yourself, and a few more of your favorites that could fit in the apartment that you managed to get your hands on for a decent price.

Sure, you did have other places you could go to that allowed you to play the other instruments you didn't have, but you liked to play at home if you could help it. There was just something about being in a comfortable space while composing a song or melody, that just felt nice. You truly felt at home, a feeling you didn't realize you missed until you left the manor and finally had a space that you could truly call your own. A feeling you didn't want to let go of, if you could help it.

Your life was still busy but it was beginning to slow down. You dedicated more time to things you actually enjoyed, but also made an effort to take care of yourself and hold onto good habits you had developed over the years. Though you were still trying to let go of some bad ones, you were making progress. 

You felt… happy here. At peace, even.

You were surrounded by people that saw you and even recognized you, and were beginning to see that you had a family of your very own all along. 

Unlike the family you were adopted into, your friends showed their care and support — and if anything, made sure you wouldn't forget it. With you showing the same care and support back, and your efforts being recognized instead of pushed to the side. Being reciprocated instead of leaving you with nothing, and making you feel more alone and unwanted than words could describe.

Sure, it wasn't perfect, and you've had your fair share of arguments and times where you needed space, but that was okay. You didn't need perfection, and you didn't need constant happiness. You just needed love and care, and that's what you found. Among other things you didn't ask for or necessarily need, but appreciated deeply regardless.

You felt like you had finally found what you've been searching for, and nothing could make you happier.

Yet, somewhere in your heart, you knew it couldn't last forever, and as if hearing your worries, an abrupt knock echoed throughout the apartment.

You paused what you were doing, humming curiously to yourself as you turned to look at the front door from your position on the couch. Who could that be at this hour? It certainly wasn't your roommate, seeing as they were sound asleep in their room, and you could still hear their snores despite being in the living room. So who else could it be?

Maybe it was Ms. Harry again, seeing as she had a bit of an odd tendency to knock on the wrong door sometimes. After all, she was old, and her memory was slowly getting worse, but she was always quick to fix her mistakes. So you just shrugged and turned away, convinced that it was another one of those nights where she just so happened to mistakenly knock on your door. So you let it be, knowing that she'd correct herself on her own and move along.

However, another set of knocks sounded. 

They were a little louder this time, as if the person on the other side of the door really did want to be noticed. Which made you pause and look back at the door, taking a brief glance at the clock.

It was getting late, and not many people were out and about during this time of night. Not the people on your floor, anyway. Though, you still tried to think of anyone who could be at the door right now.

Besides your roommate, not many of your friends lived particularly close. With the amount of them that would not only be up at this time of night, but would also personally come to bother you without sending a text or anything, being even smaller. The more you think about it, the shorter the list of potential people got, and you don't know if that should make you more confused or worried. Maybe a bit of both, but you weren't sure.

More knocks sounded. Again, they were louder compared to the last set, if only by a little.

Well, whoever was at your door was being rather persistent, so you decided to at least check it out. 

Reluctantly, you set the instrument you had been fiddling with for the past hour to the side. Sighing softly as you got up from your spot on the couch, and quietly approached the door. 

Moving about as silently as you could was an odd habit you couldn't shake, and while your friends have joked and commented about it, you suppose it was just another remnant of your life in the manor. A life you were still trying to gradually leave behind.

Regardless, you made your way to the door, and yet here — right at the foot of it, an odd feeling began to blossom in your chest. You couldn't make sense of it, but as you reached for the knob, you found yourself stopping. It didn't feel like a good idea to open the door, and though you couldn't figure out why, you just took a small breath and pushed the feeling to the side. 

Clearly, you were having a weird night, but just to humor yourself, you decided to 'comply' with whatever this feeling was, and check who was at the door by looking through the peephole instead.

It was only then did you understand.

You took a few silent steps back, putting your hand over your mouth as you kept your eyes on the door. Tingles of unease slowly crawling down your spine, and your heart began to beat against your chest harshly. You don't know if what you saw was real, but you didn't want to check again. Once felt like enough, especially since your legs felt like they were sinking into the floor.

How… how did they know where you live?

You took a breath, trying to calm your nerves as you took a few more steps away from the door. You have no idea what's going on, but all you know was that you don't want Dick knowing where you live. He might know the floor and building, but you refuse to give him the exact room if you could help it. So, you quickly moved to your room and got ready, a quick plan forming in your head.

Changing was easy, and so was gathering the stuff you thought you'd need for this. Not exactly too worried about the shoes you put on or anything like that, as your heart leapt from your chest to your throat when more knocks came, basically pounding against the door.

Fuck. He was getting impatient.

Picking up the pace, you made any last minute adjustments you could to your appearance, before quickly deciding that you looked good enough to be outside. Rushing to a window, you didn't waste any time opening it, grabbing onto a pipe that was exposed on the side of the building, closing the window, and sliding down the pipe until you reached the ground. Thanking your past self for having done that enough times to be used to it.

Knowing for a fact that you heard more knocks on your way down, you hurriedly rushed back into the apartment building and basically ran to the elevator. Thanking the gods that it had opened when you first called it, you rushed inside and hit the button for your floor. Hurriedly tapping on the button that closed the elevator doors as they slowly shut, as if that would make them move faster somehow.

As the elevator rose, you prayed that it wouldn't stop and that it'd go straight up to your floor, not knowing if you could afford to risk losing time like that. Especially when the thought of a certain vigilante breaking down your door because you didn't answer it, popped into your head.

Your hands were sweaty, your heart was racing, and you could hardly stand still as you waited for the elevator to reach your floor. Staring at the counter above the elevator buttons as if that'd make the numbers go up faster, and occasionally glancing at the doors as if they'd open at any moment. Questions and possibilities rushed through your head, but you hardly had any time to think about any of them as a small ding sounded, and the doors finally opened. Ignoring how the small sound made you jump a bit, you tried not to look too nervous as you stared at the hallway in front of you.

Oh god, you were really doing this.

Not wanting to waste any more time, you stepped out of the elevator and took a breath. Trying to calm down your heart a bit as you gathered your composure, and acted as normally as you could manage. Walking forward, you rounded the corner, and there he was in all of his tainted glory. 

"Di- I- I mean, Nightwing?" You call out, trying to grab the vigilante's attention before he did anything rash — and you seem to have caught him at just the right moment. As he seemed just about ready to bust open the lock to your door, and break into your apartment. Which, he thankfully pulls away as he whips around to look at you, clearly surprised.

You were almost too grateful to have caught him just in time.

"What are you doing here?" You took a few steps forward, but nothing more. Not wanting your efforts to go to waste right away, even if you knew it was only a matter of time when it came to these guys.

"Oh! Y/n- hi! I didn't, um, I didn't see you there." Dick greets with a smile, acting oddly nervous, which makes you raise a brow. "How long have you been, uh, standing there?" He asks, probably trying to see if you saw how he was about to break into your apartment. You both know you did, but you could play dumb for now.

"Um, I just got back so… not long, I guess? Why?" You tilt your head to the side, taking note of how Dick seemed to visibly relax. 

Was he always so… tense?

"No reason! I was just wondering, but, uh," He glances to the side before looking back at you, and taking in your appearance. He took in every little detail he could, and wow… you really were different from what he was expecting, but in the best way possible. 

Your voice was different than he remembered, and everything about you was just so… fitting, even if he's never seen it before. Even if he didn't remember having seen the style of clothes you wore on you before, or seeing the accessories you had on your person either. You really look like you've grown up now and have become an adult, with your own sense of style and fashion. Having all these little ways to show how you've grown, and become more comfortable with yourself. 

Dick couldn't help but love it as much as it hurt him.

"It's good to see you." He couldn't help but blurt out, smiling softly. Though it didn't quite reach his eyes. 

You only fiddled with your sleeves, averting your eyes for a moment as you purse your lips into a thin line. The way he looks at you made you feel uncomfortable to say the least, and his whole demeanor was nothing you have seen from him before. Not directed towards you, anyway, and you couldn’t help but struggle trying to remember the last time he smiled at you in person. All you could remember was seeing his back turned towards you as he walked away, a flash of a pathetic smile showing on his face briefly before he continued walking forward. Never looking back...

Maybe you've just grown too familiar seeing his smile in photographs and painted pictures, instead of in person.

Yet, how he looks you over now — and seems to take in every detail he manages to find — isn't exactly making this the most comfortable situation to be in. You feel exposed, and rub your arm before stopping yourself. You couldn't afford to show signs of weakness or vulnerability. Not with him. Not while he was in the suit.

Taking in a short breath, you gave a small nod. Managing to look back at Dick, and push down your nerves. The last thing you want was for him to notice how you truly feel, and point it out, or feel some kind of obligation to do something about it. The last thing you need was for him to stick around for longer than he has to.

"Yeah, um, anyway- that didn't really answer my question…?" You hesitantly point out, unsure if you should've mentioned anything at all, but feeling the need to do so. Even if you rather not be in this position, you prefer this over him breaking down your door. 

"Did something happen? I- I don't know how much help I can give since… y'know- I'm not a crime-fighting vigilante in latex, but I can see what I can do?" You try to joke a little, mostly for yourself and to further ease your nerves as a few small chuckles escape you. Yet it doesn't help as much as you would've liked.

Did they always scare you this much?

"Oh, no! No, no, no- nothing happened! I just wanted to, um, come see you, is all!" Dick admits, and even if that may have been enough reasoning for him, it wasn't for you. It just doesn't make sense, and maybe that was the years of being put off to the side — or almost outright ignored — talking, but you couldn't imagine him just randomly popping out of nowhere, just because he wants to see you. There has to be a reason, even if you don't know what that reason would be.

"By going to my friend's apartment…? That doesn't really make a lot of sense.. um, Nightwing." 

"Oh. Uh, you don't live here?" It was so weird seeing someone like Dick be so openly nervous. Was he always like this? You couldn't really tell, but if there was something going on he wasn't hiding it very well. It was almost like he was trying to not mess up or something, but you don't know why.

"No… but I do visit often? I mean, that is why I'm here and everything-" A few nervous chuckles escape you as you scratch the back of your neck, once again averting your gaze. "If you want, we could talk over a cup of coffee? I know a good place nearby, and even if I'm sure you can't exactly dine-in or anything, I could just take it to-go or something." You hesitantly offer, getting the feeling that Dick wouldn't leave easily, and still thinking that if there really is something going on — you could give him a chance to talk about it, at the very least.

"Sure! Yeah! But, uh. Is that really a good idea? It could be dangerous, and I think it's for the best if we stay inside or go to your place instead." Dick suggests, causing you to furrow your brows in confusion.

"My place?" 

"Yeah, I mean I would offer mine but Bludhaven isn't exactly close, y'know?" He snickers. Yet it only made you pause. The smallest bits of a bad feeling beginning to form in your stomach.

"I- I don't think that's a good idea…"

"But it's better than hanging around outside or something, right? This is Gotham, after all." You didn't like how Dick says that. Saying it like you didn't already know. Like you were ignorant of how bad the city you live in was, despite having experienced it first hand on multiple occasions.

"I know, but there has to be some other place we can talk, then just my place." 

"Well, there is the-"

"No." You immediately shot it down, already feeling like you knew what he was going to say, "Not there. Let's- let me just grab the coffee first, and we can figure it out from there, alright?" You didn't want to deal with more than you have to, and you weren't going to go back. Not now. Not ever, if you could help it.

"Oh, sure! I'll just tag along," Dick said simply, almost as if it was obvious, as he smiles, approaching you casually.

"I-" You pause before just sucking in a breath and giving a small nod, a weak smile displaying itself on your face, "-yeah, sure. That- that works." Even if you don't want Dick to follow you, it is better than having him just stand at your door, anyway. Though you still aren't exactly comfortable with the idea, you didn't have many options.

"Great! I'll meet you outside!" Dick grins before leaving through the window at the end of the hall.

Now by yourself for a while, you exhaled deeply, not even realizing how long you've been holding your breath. 

You aren't sure if you could do this, but you don't feel like you have much of a choice anymore as you just try to steady and calm down your racing heart. 

Making your way back to the elevator, you try to not think too much about what's going on as you step back inside, and push the correct button, waiting for it to descend.

Your heart felt heavy in your chest, and despite how you try to ignore it – you could feel that something was wrong. Though you just chalked it up to how you aren't used to Dick talking with you,  or smiling towards you – or really anything at all when it came to him. You tried to, anyway, but you were slowly beginning to doubt it.

There was something in his smile, and the way that he spoke that just felt strange to you. Even if you haven't had many conversations or interactions with him, you could still catch how different he seemed tonight. Though you weren't entirely sure. After all, you didn't know much about his personality or usual antics, just as he didn't know much about you as a whole.

On any other occasion you'd try to let it go, but doing so didn't feel right this time. It feels stupid, and almost as if you'd put yourself in more danger by trying to, so for now you'd just keep it in mind. Even if nothing came of it, at least you were being cautious, right?

You aren't sure, not entirely anyway. Since it was always hard to tell what is and isn't a good decision with Dick and the others, but you don't have much time to dwell on it as the elevator doors open once again.

All you could do was just hope that this would end as quickly as it started. For both your and Dick's sake, but mostly for your own.

Nevertheless, you step out of the elevator and make your way out of the building. There, you saw Dick leaning against a lamppost, before looking at you. The smile he gave only made the pit in your stomach grow bigger, but you tried to return the gesture the best you could.

Neither smile reached either of your eyes.

"So, you know where it is?"

"Yeah- it isn't too far from here. Just a few blocks away, it's not that far of a walk." 

"Great! You don't mind leading, then?"

"No, um. I can lead."

"Perfect, let's get going then." Dick says, his smile growing a little bigger as he makes his way over, and stops beside you, waiting for you to lead the way.

You just gave a nod, taking a nervous step forward as you both began to walk. You knew the directions by heart at this point, and so you just let your own feet guide you along the streets of Gotham. With Dick following right along, humming under his breath.

An awkward silence fell over both of you.

You try to not think about it too much, knowing that the detail would only further bother you, and make you feel more nervous than you already are. So you drew your attention elsewhere, and focused on the city itself instead.

Not many people were walking about, which immediately struck you as odd since Gotham was always so lively despite how dangerous it is. Even if more people were out during the day, there were still lots of people who were out at night for one reason or another. Granted, most of them are dangerous, everyone knows that, but some just simply went about their business. The city was dangerous, but that didn't stop people from going about their lives. Even if it did make it easier for thugs and the like to hide within the crowds.

Still, the change was noticeable. Gotham wasn't exactly known to be quiet, let alone this inactive. It felt strange, and when you glance over to Dick, you couldn't help but feel a little surprised that he didn't seem all that bothered by the change. If anything, you were almost getting the impression that he hadn't noticed it at all.

So, you just keep looking ahead, and focusing on other things. Deciding to not comment on anything if Dick wasn't.

Yet you still couldn’t shake it.

The absence of sirens in the air and occasional gunshots didn't sit right with you, and even the amount of people driving by wasn't as much as it'd usually be. The city didn't feel busy, let alone as alive as it would've been on any other night, and it's bothering you. It's like some sort of silent evacuation is going on, or a lock down of some kind that not everyone was informed of. There were more whispers than there were shouts, and a kind of awkward peace, instead of striking violence and chaos.

You couldn't believe it, was this Gotham's first real quiet night?

CRACK.

Perhaps you spoke too soon.

A sickening crack sounded from somewhere within the city, the noise so loud and sudden that it immediately caught your attention, as you looked in the direction of where you heard it come from. You could've sworn you heard a scream that followed right after, only for it to swiftly get cut off. 

It was only then did you really take a look around, and notice how the people you passed by looked equally tense and nervous. An unsaid, but shared feeling of tension and anxiety hung in the air, and now that you noticed it — you couldn't ignore it.

What didn't help was when you saw someone in an alleyway cocking their gun, only for them to swiftly get roped into the darkness, causing them to drop their weapon in the process. A sickening pop sounded, and then deafening silence followed. The only evidence that anyone had ever stood in that particular spot, was the gun the thug had dropped. 

Through the shadows of the alleyway, and faint light from the moon, you could almost make out a figure in the darkness. Yet just as they turned to look at you, your eyes darted away. 

You swallowed the lump in your throat.

"Are… are you sure there isn't anything going on? It seems oddly… quiet, tonight." You point out hesitantly, small tingles dancing down your spine, and they were far from pleasant.

"Hm? Oh, well, I guess you could say something is happening, but the others are taking care of it." Dick reassures as he waves his hand dismissively. "Though that's why I think it'd be better if we talked inside. The last thing I want is for someone to eavesdrop on our conversation, and for you to get caught in the crossfire of everything." Yet you couldn't help but feel like it was a little too late for that.

Being associated with Dick, and the others — let alone being someone that they'd actually turn to for assistance or anything — already made someone prone to being caught in any crossfire that dealt with their vigilante work. Even if the person didn't get caught in between things by some miracle, it would be hard to ignore the newly painted target on their back. Being known for having a connection to Batman, and anyone he had taken under his wing one way or another, had its problems, and you already had to deal with your own fair share of trouble just for being known as another kid who got adopted by Bruce Wayne. 

You wouldn't be surprised if you suddenly had to deal with more trouble just from this conversation alone, since word traveled around fast in Gotham, but you didn't want to think about that right now. You'd just deal with that when the time came, if it ever did.

Still, you didn't fully believe Dick. Your feelings of the situation becoming more messy, and unclear as you try to piece things together. You couldn't tell if what was going on was something to worry about, or stress over. Since Dick was acting so dismissively about it, and yet the effect it's having on Gotham was unmistakable. Is it big enough to cause the city to go quiet, but not dangerous enough to worry about? Or is it something else entirely?

You took a breath. Maybe it's best if you just think about it later. You already have enough on your plate as it is, and the biggest thing you have to worry about right now is Dick. All you have to do is find out what he wants, and handle things from there. That's it. That's all you have to do.

So, you nod hesitantly. Still not looking at Dick as you said, "Right. Okay. That… that makes sense, I guess," but your voice betrays you despite your best efforts as it wavered slightly. Still, you make sure to add, "but I still don't think it's the best to talk at my place."

Dick only gave a nod, saying, "Alright," and nothing else.

Your body refused to relax after that.

You still couldn’t shake the odd feeling you were getting from Dick, even if you couldn't exactly pinpoint what's wrong or where this feeling is coming from. The distant sounds of snaps, cracks, pops, and cut off shouts and screams in the distance didn't help much with that either. Especially when they weren't far, and sounded like they were only a few blocks away from you, with the distance slowly growing shorter each and every time a new sound echoed across Gotham. Especially when you realized that the snaps and cracks were the sounds of bones breaking, and the pops were joints getting dislocated. Which caused various memories to pop into your head that you tried to shove away.

Small beads of sweat began to roll down your neck. Your hands feel clammy, and you try to steady your breathing once you realize it was wavering again. You try to fix any outward reaction you notice you were displaying before Dick could catch on, fiddling with your sleeves as you try to reassure yourself.

You're going to be okay.

CRACK!

You're going to be fine.

SNAP!

You're going to make it through this.

POP!

You could tough it out.

"AAAHHH-!" CRUNCH.

This would all be over soon.

So, you try to ignore how the pit in your stomach continues to grow with each second that passes. How each sound causes you to tense, and sometimes jump the smallest bit, but you try to ignore that too. 

You glance over to Dick once again, only to catch him immediately turning to face forward. The detail made you pause and furrow your brows, had he been looking at you?

You shove the thought to the side and face forward again as well. A weight of some kind begins to form in your chest, yet you still try to push on and keep walking.

Seconds turn into minutes, and it's only now that you fully realized how long this short walk felt. The sidewalks stretched on, and the streets never seemed to end. The traffic lights felt like distant glimpses of life and civilization that one would catch in fog, with the small amount of cars on the road not helping with that feeling. Dark clouds begin to form overhead, and cover the inky black sky. With the full moon looking down at you. Its sight pinned on you, staring in silence.

Maybe that's why you were so relieved when the diner finally came into view, and you found yourself holding back a sigh of relief. You had to stop yourself from running over, and rushing inside so that you didn't have to walk beside Dick anymore. Further reminding yourself of how awkward this whole experience has been for you thus far. Which didn't help with how you are feeling at all.

"How do you like your coffee?" You decide to ask, seeing as the diner was only a few steps away at this point.

"What?" Dick asks, seemingly snapping out of whatever trance he was in. With your question bringing him back to reality.

"Um, how do you like your coffee? Since, y'know. That's what we're here for?" You repeat, giving Dick a confused glance.

A look of realization flashed across Dick's face as a small 'ohh' left him. "Right, yeah. Uh," he stumbles at first before saying his preference, with you just nodding along.

"Okay, I'll just go inside and order so… you can just wait out here?" You said, unsure as you glance at the diner, only to look back at Dick.

"Yeah, I can do that." He agrees with a simple nod and small thumbs up. Making you nod as well as you took a breath.

"Right, okay. I'll just, um, head inside then." You exhale sharply, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, "It shouldn't take too long." You stop once you're in front of the door to the diner. Folding your hands into fists, squeezing your fingers and digging your nails into your palms, before releasing, letting your fingers relax, before repeating the process a few more times.

"Got it." Dick nods again, and you return the gesture as you open the door and step inside. Once again holding yourself back from letting out a sigh of relief, as you made your way over to the counter. A weight of some kind being lifted from your shoulders the moment the smell of food, and freshly brewed coffee hits you.

It's only when you reach the counter and see your friend did you finally sigh deeply, and heavily. You rest your arms against the counter and let your head hang low, a feeling of exhaust and fatigue slowly eating away at you. Not being in the immediate vicinity of Dick definitely made you feel exceptionally better, especially now that there’s a wall between you and him.

"Y'know, lots of people have been comin' in and sighing just like that, tonight." The waitress points out as she makes her way over to you. Her comment causing you to lift your head, and look at her. She gave you a little smile, amused by your antics, but you could see the little worry that hid behind her eyes. 

"Really?" You ask, allowing yourself to relax a little, now that you were in the presence of a friend. You didn't see Jessica outside of the diner much, but that was never a problem since you've been a regular for a while now. You had met when you first began coming to the diner late at night for coffee since you couldn't sleep, coming around just when the place was about to close. It was only after a few more nights passed that you both began to talk, and really connect. You like to consider her one of your closest friends because of all she's done for you, and not just because she knows how to make your coffee just the way you like it.

"Yeah, it's kinda weird but there's seems to be somethin' going on tonight. So I guess it makes sense." Jessica says with a shrug, "Anyway, you want the usual, I'm assuming?"

You perk up at that, "Wait, you think something's going on too?" You couldn't help but ask, though made sure to also say, "Oh, and that'd be great. But I'll… um, take it to go this time, and I'll have another coffee for my…" you glance over your shoulder and look at Dick. He had his back turned to the window, and looked to be talking to someone with what you assumed to be his comm link. 

You turn back to Jessica, a crooked smile on your face, "My acquaintance…?"

"I can't think of anyone who doesn't. Everyone can tell that something ain't right about tonight. Hell, even Jim looked bothered when he came in. I swore he was shakin' like a leaf, and looked like something was out to get him too." Jessica replies, writing down your order on her notepad mindlessly, already knowing it by heart. 

"Jim? Like the commissioner?"

"Nope, I'm talkin' about the guy who came in from Metropolis."

"Oh." You said, before slowly nodding as you thought about it, "I guess that makes sense. Though, I didn't think that guy had a single nervous bone in his body, to be honest."

"Well, y'know what they say; Gotham changes people. It can even make people like him, who're barely present with the rest of us, get a little shaken up every now and again." Jessica hums, looking at what she has written down for a moment.

"Right… yeah."

Jessica sighs softly, looking at you with unsaid care and concern before speaking up again, "Anyway, does your…" she drags out the 'r' as she glances behind you, before looking back at you. Waving her pen in the air as she gestures towards the window, "'acquaintance' want anything else?" 

"No, um. Just the coffee will do." You rub the back of your neck, making sure to mention how Dick said he likes his coffee. Jessica only gave a nod as she wrote it down.

"Alright, but I gotta ask. Is that guy bothering you?" Jessica asks as she starts to brew the coffee, shooting you a certain look, "I can get William to have a chat with 'im if he's causing you trouble. He won't like it, but he'll do it, y'know." 

The question catches you off guard, but you quickly shake your head, and try to adjust the smile on your face to look less obvious. As much as you don't want to be in this situation, you at least want to hear Dick out. If there's even the smallest chance that he really does need something from you — you want to help. You don't want to be the reason why whatever is going on is prolonged any further, or if a solution they have is delayed. 

Despite everything they've done to you, and the little they've given you throughout all of your life, you want to do this one last thing for them. That's all. 

You could afford to do this one last time, you thought as much anyway.

"I'm fine, he- he isn't bothering me… I promise." You try to reassure your friend, mustering the most convincing smile you could as you watch her work. She clearly knew what she was doing, since it looked as if it came so naturally to her, and you wouldn't be surprised if it did, with all she's told you in the past.

"Well, alright. But if he does anything you can always shoot me a text or give me a call. I can't do much myself, but I know people." 

You huff at her words, an easy smile making its way up your face as your shoulders relaxed, "I know. Thanks, Jess."

"Don't mention it. After all, I've gotta look out for the person who gives the best tips." She snickers, a smile of her own beginning to show itself. You can't help but laugh lightly as you just shake your head, and look away.

The soft tune of old melodies plays in the background, filling the space of the diner and washing away any awkwardness that may have been present otherwise. Some jazz begins to play, and you couldn’t help but tap your foot along with the rhythm, the voice of the singer taking all of your worries, and whisking them away. 

The other customers are quiet for the most part, but seem at ease for the time being. The outside world almost seemed so far away despite being just past the windows, but there was some peace to be had with that. The street lights gave off a homey feeling with their soft orange hues spilling into the diner, the quiet from the outside only making this place feel more safe, in a strange way.

"So it's just for the money, huh? And here I thought you genuinely cared about me." You chuckle, fiddling with your fingers mindlessly.

"Of course I do. But I'd like to see you work in customer service and living off of tips," Jessica chuckles as well, "Maybe then you'd see how that's just me appreciating you more, hon'."

You just shake your head, "Right, whatever you say."

"I'm being serious, Y/n. Even the boss appreciates you, and your wonderful donations." Jessica snickers, beginning to pour the coffee into two cups.

"You make it sound like he runs a charity, and I'm a big donor."

"Of course he does! Except, y'know. It isn't your typical charity, and we gotta work our asses off to ‘give back to the people’. With your money making up about… hm, seventy-five percent of my paycheck?" 

"Jess!"

"No, no. You're right, it's more like eighty-three. Maybe even eighty-five at a push." She laughs, giggling at the expression you make as you huff, before laughing a bit yourself.

You both continue to joke lightly, laughs and giggles being shared as Jessica makes your order, and you patiently wait. A light, soft sort of smile resting on your face, and you almost forget what had made you so tense in the first place. Which was one of the reasons you love this diner so much — it felt like a home away from home, even if it was only a few blocks away from your apartment. Jessica just added onto that comfortable vibe you got from this place, and your mind always felt so quiet when you're here.

It almost made everything feel like it'd be okay, and that as long as you remain inside, nothing bad could happen to you.

Unfortunately, it was only that. A feeling, and nothing more. Your current situation only made that detail all the more apparent.

"Welp, here you go. They're both hot and ready, so be careful, okay?" She smiles down at you before snickering, "Though you don't gotta tell the guy that if you don't want to." 

You're confused for a moment, not entirely sure who Jessica was talking about until it suddenly hit you. Right, Dick.

You laugh along, but it wasn't as genuine as it was before, and died down much quicker. As if scared that he'd hear both of you from past the window now. The thought alone made you suddenly hyper-aware of his presence outside. "Right, yeah.."

Grabbing the two cups, you slide them towards yourself and stare down at them for a moment, finding yourself hesitating again. You don't know why you were taking so many pauses, but this whole thing just didn't feel right to you. Though you couldn't exactly pinpoint why, you knew the reason was different than why you were so awkward around Dick, and reluctant to talk to him.

"... Are you sure that guy isn't bothering you?" Jessica asks again, leaning against the counter as she places a hand over one of yours. You couldn't meet her eyes, knowing that if you did it'd just make things harder for yourself. So you look off to the side, unsure.

"Yeah!… He's just.. yeah." Was all you could really say. You don't want to say anything that would make Jessica worry more, but most importantly, you don't want to make it harder for yourself to leave. You got this far, would it really be alright if you leave now? If you took back the words you said, and just went back home? Probably not.

You hear Jessica sigh, causing your heart to feel heavier in your chest. "Look, I get it if you don't want me to get someone to handle him, but if you don't want to stick around, and don't want him to see- I can let you out the back." She offers, giving your hand a small squeeze. Trying to reassure you, and give you something to work with.

You perk up at her offer, looking back up at her in slight surprise, "Really?" You ask. The sense of hope and relief that washed over you didn't make you feel any better, and only furthered the conflict going on in your mind.

"Yeah. Especially if it'll get you away from that weirdo." She chuckles with a slight smirk, trying to lighten the mood a little.

You think about it for a moment, just looking at Jessica as countless thoughts rush through your head. Why did this have to be so complicated? Why are you making this so hard for yourself? The choice is so simple, so easy, and yet you just couldn't take it, but why?

You look back at Dick, and make eye contact.

You both stand there, staring at each other for a while, and the music playing in the diner suddenly didn't feel so comforting anymore. Your shoulders lost their weightlessness, and gravity seemed eager to try and pull you down to the floor.

Dick is the first to look away, presumably resuming his conversation with whoever he's been talking to this entire time, but you didn't. You don't.

Turmoil and conflict is clear in your eyes. You could see it through your faint reflection in the glass of the window that separates you and Dick. Which, from that alone, you begin to feel worse.

Even if you did leave, would that change anything? Would you be able to actually leave Dick? Or would he catch on? They already know where you live, and even if you managed to fool Dick momentarily, you doubt that he believes your little lie now if he is talking to the others. Yet if you went back to him, what would happen? Where would you both end up going?

You look back down at the two coffees, and sigh. Either way, you’re faced with uncertainty. If you left now, there's no telling if you'd actually be able to get away. Yet if you went back to Dick, you couldn't even imagine what would happen next. It felt like you were stuck in a lose-lose situation; having to pick between two different types of poison, and deal with whatever consequences that came with the kind you chose.

Holding the cups a little tighter, you think it over for another moment before shaking your head. Taking in a breath, and letting yourself calm down a bit.

"I think I'll be okay, but thanks for the offer, Jess." You gave her a little, appreciative smile, "I'll just message or call you if anything happens, like you said." Jessica didn't seem entirely sure of your decision, but nods anyway.

"Well, if you're sure, then alright. But the moment shit goes south, you know who to call."

You nod, and give her a small ‘thank you’ as you paid and left. Taking the drinks with you as you did so, the warmth of the diner slowly leaving you, and now being replaced with the cold breeze of the night.

"Sorry that took so long, I would've told you otherwise if I had known." You apologize as you turn to Dick, flinching at his close proximity. Since, you didn't realize just how close he had been standing to the door until now.

"It's no big deal! Besides, it didn't take that long." Dick said, dismissing your apology as he kept up that smile of his. You only nod, handing him his coffee, which he gladly took.

"If you say so.." You glance off to the side again, remaining quiet for a moment before looking back at Dick, "You were talking to the others, I assume?" You decide to ask, not exactly sure if you should've said anything, but you didn't see the harm in doing so at the moment.

"Hm? Oh, yeah! I uh, I was." Dick confirms with a small, awkward nod.

"Is… everything okay?" 

"Yep! Things are going well. Great, even!"

"Oh. Alright then."

Another beat of silence passed over both of you.

You clutch the cup in your hands, its heat pinching and nibbling at your skin through the sleeve. You took a glance inside the diner, and noticed that while Jessica is doing her job, she's still shooting looks and glances your way past the window. She furrows her brows as you both made eye contact, and you could tell what she was going to do just from that alone.

You shake your head, and play it off as if you were just pushing a thought away once you look back at Dick, shoulders rising and almost locking into place as you try to stop your smile from dropping. Holding it at just the right height, and making sure it didn't look too crooked.

"So, um. How about we walk and talk? Just so that we're doing something instead of just standing around- y'know?" You suggest, a wry chuckle escaping you as your eyes wander off again.

"Sure, yeah! We can do that," Dick nods along, and you give a curt nod in return.

"Great!" You begin to walk off, only to be stopped by Dick as he grabs your sleeve, causing you to flinch a little bit. Whipping your head around to look back at him, your heart stopping for a moment as something flashed in your eyes, before it quickly disappeared.

For a split second, you look at Dick as if he was about to kill you, or something similar to that. Like he was going to hurt you in some unimaginable way by just trying to grab your attention.

Though Dick just pushed that little detail to the side, he couldn't help but keep it in mind. He didn't want to think about what it could mean, but couldn't forget it either. Since no matter how quick it was, or how short it lasted, just seeing that expression on your face and directed towards him — it hurt worse than any injury he could possibly receive in any shape or form.

He didn't want to believe what seemed to be the undeniable truth.

So, instead, he tucked it away in the back of his mind. Still managing some kind of smile as he looks at you, hiding behind a face of confusion.

"Isn't your place back that way?" Dick asks, gesturing behind him with a tilt of his head. He notices how you swallowed — taking note of how nervous and on edge you seem to be. He's known since he first saw you, but he didn't think anything of it. He doesn't want to. He doesn't want it to mean anything.

So he ignores it. Pushing it away until he can't see it anymore, despite it being so clear and right in front of his face. 

He prays to every god he knows, and hopes to every heaven he's aware of — blind and ignorant to the fact that they have long since shut him out. The light and grace they'd give, forever out of his reach.

His little wishes couldn't help him now. Not when they never helped you.

"I-" You couldn't help but sigh, shaking your head and gathering your thoughts, before speaking again, "I already said that I don't think that it's a good idea to talk there, Dick. And I don't think it's smart to have this conversation here either- so let's just walk as we try to figure this out. Please?" Your weak smile begins to strain as you take a step back, grabbing Dick's hand and tugging him toward you. You hope he'll listen, if only this one time.

Dick looks to the side, unsure as he weighs his options before looking back at you, and suddenly he's hit with all the convincing he needed.

You look at him pleadingly, almost silently begging for him to comply and just come along with you. The moon, albeit partially covered thanks to the dark clouds passing overhead, lit up your eyes in such a way that further emphasized the emotions you were feeling, but left unsaid. How the internal conflict and struggle you were experiencing, made the color in your irises shine that much brighter, and how such a little thing took Dick's breath away. 

Suddenly, for a moment, he realizes how soft your hand was in his, despite the fabric of his glove in between them. Even if it is just for that split second, he can't help but… love it. Love you. So how can he say no? How could he say no when he's slowly beginning to see all of these little things about you in a different way? When his guilt was slowly shifting to something else? Something worth trying for?

How can he deny such a little request from his little sibling? Especially when you look at him like that? He can't. So he didn't. Unable to stop the soft but partially happy smile that grew on his face.

You found it uncanny and misplaced, but he found it fitting and refreshing in a way. A way he hadn't felt before — not in a while, anyway.

"Sure, alright. Let's get going then!" Dick replies after a second of silence had passed, holding onto your hand and walking beside you when you began to move again. 

You didn't say anything this time, just nodding as you focused on walking away from the diner.

Yet, Dick couldn't help but look back at the establishment. Curious as to why you wanted to move on from it so quickly, and wanted to see if he could catch anything in particular that might've caused it. Not that Dick was complaining by any means, but he couldn't help his own curiosity.

It was then that Dick and the waitress from inside the diner made eye contact. Causing Dick to narrow his eyes, and the waitress doing the same back with a certain look in her eyes.

He didn't like it, and even if the impression he's getting was far off the mark, he didn't care enough to change it.

Yet, when you and Dick pass the diner, your phone suddenly vibrates. 

Oblivious to how Dick's gaze lingered on the diner for a little while longer — or how he was even looking back at all — you fish your phone out of your pocket once you shake Dick’s hand off mindlessly, not thinking too much about the action as you check your notifications.

There, you saw that Jessica had left you a message.

['Be careful with that one. I'd watch your back if I were you, hon.']

You were confused to say the least, but before you could think to respond, Dick turned back to you and suddenly spoke. Smile ever present, eyes trained on you.

"So, where are we going?" 

"Oh- um, I'm not entirely sure." You admit, pocketing your phone quickly without much thought. Hoping Dick didn't see what the text said, but you didn't count on it. Not much slipped past him or the others in any given situation, not unless it was something dealing with you. Though, with his attention on you now? You couldn't be too sure of what he would and wouldn't notice. Not anymore.

After all, just knowing that he could see you now, and is actually talking with you, along with the fact that you've been in his space for over a minute was… a new experience. You didn't think you'd get this far — you never have before, and so this was all new territory for you. All you knew, and could gather from how things were going thus far, was that slipping away wouldn't be as easy as it was before. Not with his eyes trained on you like they were now.

"Well, that's fine but we still shouldn't stay out for long. It isn't safe." Dick pointed out again, causing you to sigh and nod your head.

"I know, but I still-" you cut yourself off, and took a quick breath before continuing, "it doesn't feel right going back to my place. Besides, not many people are out tonight… and as weird as that is- at least not many people will be around to eavesdrop on our conversation, if we did talk out here." You said, shrugging your shoulders, and taking a slow but small sip of your coffee. It burned your tongue, but at least it gave you something else to think about.

"That doesn't exactly make Gotham any less dangerous, and besides- those who are walking around, and are still out and about, could be from a worse crowd. You should know that, Y/n." Again, you didn't appreciate how he spoke to you like that. Talking as if you were ignorant to that possibility, or just generally unaware that Gotham was a bad place filled with even worse people. 

"I do, I'm just saying-" you try to defend yourself, looking at Dick before immediately looking away. You don't like how he looked at you, and how much taller it made him appear, "Gotham isn't just filled with criminals, and besides… most people look like they're rushing to get home anyway." You comment, noticing how a group of people — presumably friends or roommates, maybe even 'coworkers' to a certain degree — rushed inside what appeared to be an apartment building. Along with how a family quickly got inside of their house, ushering their kids inside before hurriedly closing the door behind them. 

"It's like some kind of apocalypse is going on…" You mutter, narrowing your eyes at the sight, before just focusing your attention back on the sidewalk ahead of you. You didn't recall getting a memo of any kind, or an alert if something like that was really going on. Though, your best bet to figuring anything out was unfortunately through Dick, by the looks of things.

Dick rubs the back of his neck, a strange feeling of nervousness, and something close to embarrassment, radiating off of him as he chuckled. The strange detail caught your attention, causing you to look at him and notice that his smile had become uneven, before he fixed it when he noticed you were looking. 

You couldn't help but raise a brow, silently questioning Dick with your eyes, a small hint of suspicion growing behind your gaze.

Dick just shrugs, fixing himself the very next moment, which only causes you to narrow your eyes. Were they actually causing some kind of apocalypse? Surely not… right?

"Then that's just all the more reason why we should head inside too." Dick said, giving your hand a soft squeeze. Forcing you to acknowledge that you were holding hands once again – but when did he grab it? You don’t remember feeling him hold it again until now… but that wasn’t important, not now anyway, "I don't want anything bad to happen to you, Y/n. I'm just worried." 

You grew quiet at that, a mix of emotions beginning to swirl around in your chest before you just shove it to the side. You couldn't tell if he was joking or trying to be genuine….

Though, your heart and mind seemed to agree that he wasn't being serious, and maybe that's why you didn't like how he looked at you.

Taking your hand back once again, you shook your head dismissively, "You're a vigilante, right? One of Gotham's finest, and looking over Bludhaven at that- if anything happens I'm sure you can handle it." Huffing, you add, "Even then, I can handle myself."

Dick's eyes linger on you for a little longer. The hand that had been holding yours twitched, and he kept it there for a second before letting it drop to his side, his smile beginning to die down before he sighed. "Still, I think it'd be better if we tried to avoid something like that all together."

"I think it'd also be better if we could avoid something like that happening at my place."

"It won't, not with me around."

"So now you're confident that nothing will happen?" You laugh lightly, more air escaping you above all else, and disbelief clear in your eyes and tone. "You can't be sure. Someone could follow us there and find out where I live."

You snicker again, not fully believing that you were actually having to tell Dick all of this, "I mean, it might not matter much to you but-"

"It does matter to me. I don't want you to get hurt, or anyone else to come after you." He took another breath, and you bite your tongue. Reframing from mentioning how it was a little too late to be saying that now. "Look, I understand if you don't want to go back to where you're staying, but if that's the case then we can just got to the-"

"No." You speak up before he could even finish. Already knowing what he was going to say, and the mere thought of going back to that place made you feel uneasy. Causing you to clutch your cup with both of your hands, barely registering its heat.

"I didn't even get to say where…" Dick sighs again, just pushing the detail to the side for the moment, "Can you at least tell me why? I don't see why we shouldn't."

"It just-" You didn't want to say it outloud. Not out here. Not with him around, and listening to every word that fell out of your mouth. "I just don't think that's smart either. Again, someone could follow us back there and find out about… you know."

"Well, then someone else could just take you back-"

"Wouldn't that seem suspicious if someone saw, though?" 

"Now you're worried about being seen?"

"Like you weren't before-"

"Y/n, please. We can't just stand around here and talk about stuff all night. Either way, we have to go somewhere." Dick tries to reason, adding on, "Look, if you don't want to go to your place or the 'other' place, how about we just-"

"No."

"I didn't even get to finish!"

"I know what you were about to say, and just-" You took a breath of your own, sweat rolling down the back of your neck as your hands began to shake a little bit. Your nerves were getting to you. You could feel it with how your chest became heavier, and how it was getting progressively harder to continue walking — as if your feet were slowly sinking into the cement below you.

"I don't think it'd be the best to go there either." You mutter, looking off to the side.

"Why? I can sort of understand the 'other' place-" he didn't, but in his attempt to get through to you, he said otherwise, "but why not there? Again, we can't just wander around all night and talk out in the open like this, Y/n. You should know better than that." Dick states, furrowing his brows as his gaze remains pinned on you, never once looking away.

You wish he would. By the Gods did you wish he would look away just once. Yet such a blessing had yet to be given, if it would ever come.

With every second that passed, your doubt only grew.

"I just don't see why we can't go to any other places? Somewhere that isn't personal, or technically considered to be personal since it could reveal your identity and such- and I don't think I have to give reasons why someone knowing where I live, or used to live, would be bad too- but… yeah. Just-" You gather your thoughts, looking down at your cup of coffee for a brief moment, "Just somewhere that isn't necessarily connected to either of us, or could reveal potentially personal or sensitive information on one or both of us? Like the park, or some random rooftop…? You guys still have talks up there, right?" You manage to slide in a little joke, but the laugh you gave is more awkward and nervous than anything, so you just clear your throat and continue.

"Or- or just an abandoned building or something? If you still really want us to be inside? Since Gotham has some of those… maybe too many of them- but that's besides the point." You try to suggest, hesitant to even say anything but managing somehow regardless.

You still couldn’t bring yourself to look at Dick – so you missed how his brows creased, and his smile was just barely holding up. His hand twitches again, but he tries to stay mindful of the coffee he's still holding.

"Are you serious?" His tone made you press your lips into a thin line. Your nails begin to dig into the sleeve of your cup. "I get that you're paranoid, but are you serious right now? Y/n, c'mon." An odd warmth began to bloom in your chest at Dick's words. It was far from pleasant, and lit like a match, with the flame itself bursting to life. It started much larger than you were used to, and controlling it was more difficult than you expected.

"I'm just saying…" 

"Saying… what? That we either stay out in the open where anything can happen, or a clearly dangerous place where we're most likely going to get jumped? 'Cause if that's what you're saying, then I don't even know what to say, Y/n." Dick really can't believe you right now. Just how long have you been living in Gotham, exactly? Who were you even living with? He couldn't understand what you were thinking suggesting such a thing.

He had a feeling you may have been unaware of the true dangers of Gotham, since he and the others had kept you away from such things – from what he could tell. Not to mention that you didn't have any intention of becoming a vigilante yourself, from what he remembered, but for you to turn out like this? He had no idea you were so oblivious, and if he had before, he never would've let you out of that apartment building. He never should've to begin with, clearly.

"No! Of course that's not what I'm saying!" You couldn't help but yelp in surprise, finally looking at Dick as you held your coffee closer to your chest. You felt offended that he honestly thought you'd think something so stupid, but you didn't know what was worse. How he didn't seem convinced, or how he looked as if he believed himself more than you.

"Then…?" Dick drags on, gesturing for you to give an explanation. Almost daring you to say something that proved him wrong, or went against his point. 

You huff harshly, the warmth in your chest beginning to turn hot as you went on to say, "I'm just saying why can't we go anywhere else, that isn't technically connected to you or me in some way?"

"... And your solution to that is to go to a public area, stay out in the open but on the rooftops, or go to one of the abandoned places around Gotham where something bad will definitely happen?" Dick rose a brow, with you restraining yourself from rolling your eyes. Instead, you manage a sigh – smile long gone from your face.

"Those were just examples, Nightwing." You hold back a scoff, clutching your cup a little tighter, "We don't actually have to go to any of those places, or do those things. I was just trying to suggest ideas, not say; 'Hey, we should go to that one place by the bay that's been abandoned for around five years and have our talk there. Since surely nothing will happen, and a gang totally doesn't hang around that area.' Or something like that." 

"That's oddly specific," Dick gave you a questionable look before shaking his head, "but still. Those places and areas aren't safe. At least the places I suggested are, and if something happens, then there's security measures in place for that."

"How do you know if my place is secure or not?"

"Are you trying to say that it isn't?"

"No- but it's not like I have a super complicated system or hypersensitive security like- y'know. The other places. So what would make my place so safe?"

Dick sighs, "Fine. Alright, maybe your place isn't our safest bet right now. Even if I feel like I can definitely handle protecting a single apartment." You didn't even bother to say anything, just rolling your eyes and shaking your head instead.

"I don't want anything to happen to my place, Nightwing." 

"You really don't think I can't defend one room?"

"I don't live alone, D- Nightwing. I don't just have myself or my things to worry about." You couldn't help but say, scoffing under your breath. However, Dick could only blink, a little confused.

"You… have a roommate?" 

"Yeah? Who do you think I was referring to when I said I was visiting a friend?"

"Oh! I thought that was a complete lie. I guess that makes sense, but why would you need a roommate anyway? Does your job not make enough money or-"

"Does that really matter right now?" You gave Dick a pointed look, hoping that he would take the hint and drop the subject, "We're trying to find out what the fuck to do, not delve into my personal life." 

"Alright, fine- no need to get all worked up." Dick put his free hand up to show that he wasn't trying to start anything, and was trying to keep this peaceful and civil, "But why don't we just go to one of the other two areas? They're secure, and I'm sure your friend won't get hurt if something ends up happening while we're there."

You open your mouth to say something, only to shut it and look away. You clutch your cup a little tighter.

How could you tell Dick that you just don't want to be in the manor again, and that you didn't want to go back — without actually having to tell him? How do you tell Dick that you don't feel comfortable being in a space where you knew the rest of them would be, and that you'd rather have to just deal with him than anyone else? That you had a bad feeling about going to any of those places with him, and you don't trust him or the others at all?

You'd rather avoid going to the manor if you could help it, and you had more than enough reasons for feeling that way. Though, would Dick understand? Would he accept your reasons, and see why you wanted to go somewhere else? Maybe not, and even if he did understand, there was no guarantee that he would value your personal comfort over your 'safety'. There was no guarantee that he still wouldn't try and get you to agree with him. 

You also wanted to avoid going to the clock tower. Seeing as just dealing with Dick was… difficult, to say the least, and if you could barely handle one — you couldn't imagine what it'd be like to handle another. Since there was bound to at least be someone else at the tower, just waiting for you to arrive. 

The thought alone made you feel uneasy.

-------------------

[Chapter 3, part 2]

[simplybakugou]

omg I saw you post about wanting dad!Bakugo ideas and tbh I have so many but I don't wanna be greedy or overwhelming so here's one <3 Dad!Bakugo when you get caught sneaking out. He assumes the worst- thinking you were out drinking, partying, something like that (y/n would be like.. 14-16 or somethin, yknow?) But in reality you were just sneaking out to go to the 24/7 ramen place down the street with your secret partner who you haven't told your dad about bc they're the same gender as you <3 It's a lot, I completely understand if ya aren't interested in writing it <33 I just think it would be a really cute and emotional but also amusing and heartfelt idea that I would love to read but can't find the motivation to write </3 Love your work!!!!

⋆ PAIRING: dad!bakugou x fem!reader ⋆ WARNINGS/TAGS: swearing; teeniest tiniest bit of angst; fluff; talks of being closeted ⋆ WORD COUNT: 3492

A/N: not me writing two works in 2024 back to back?! crazy omg. also i decided to make y/n bakugou’s s/o and not his child as that’s what i’m most comfortable writing about. hope that’s okay! also please feel free to send as many dad!bakugou ideas you want cause i’ve been wanting to write as many as i can. sorry if the ending is awkward i had some trouble finishing it :( tysm for requesting and i hope you enjoy :)

© simplybakugou — all rights reserved. DO NOT REPOST/REUPLOAD, TRANSLATE, OR EDIT ANY OF MY CONTENT ON HERE OR ANY PLATFORM

“Fuck,” Bakugou cursed to himself, setting the knife down and grabbing a paper towel to tend to the small cut he had just accidentally put onto his index finger. Your home was filled with a savory aroma as Bakugou’s cooked dinner as he did every night.

“Are you alright, Katsuki?” You asked from the dining room, averting your eyes from your laptop and peering into the kitchen to check on your husband. 

“I’m fine. It’s just a small cut,” Bakugou called out, grabbing and applying a band-aid from the cabinet and onto his finger. Afterwards he went back to the task at hand. “Where’s Suki?” 

“She’s upstairs, I think she’s showering. Apparently they were working on training their quirks in U.A. and she said she felt disgusting,” you responded, reverting your attention back to the work you had left on your laptop. 

“So they’re already training their quirks? I need to train with her more then.” Bakugou turned the stove off as he moved tonight’s dinner to a singular dish. He went over to the dining table where you were seated to set the table.

You furrowed your brows at him. “Katsuki, she trains enough at U.A., not to mention you train with her after she comes back from school too. You’ll overwork her if you do even more than that.”

“She needs the training. She has to get stronger if she wants to get better.” Bakugou spoke to you while walking back and forth from the kitchen to the dining table as he placed all of his dishes down for his family to share. “She’s gonna get her provisional license soon and I don’t want her to fail like I fucking did.”

“I understand, but you’re being too hard on yourself and on her,” you said, shaking your head at your husband who has a tendency to overwork himself. 

“If she’s gonna be the best, she has to be better than me. And I’m gonna make sure she’s a hundred times better than I ever was in U.A.,” Bakugou stated adamantly as he sat himself across from you.

You sighed, closing your laptop and setting it aside so you could eat. “You’re impossible, you know that?” 

Bakugou smirked as he was about to let out a snarky comment until Suki walked downstairs, a towel in hand as she was still drying her ash blonde. 

You smiled at the sight of your daughter. “Suki! You’re just in time for dinner.”

Suki stopped as she took in her parents at the dining table and the giant spread of food Bakugou had prepared. “Oh, I thought I told you guys I wasn’t that hungry today…”

Bakugou whipped his head around to look at his daughter. “No you fucking didn’t.”

“Whoops,” Suki said, laughing cautiously as she rubbed the nape of her neck with her hand. “I’m kinda tired from all the training today so I think I’m just going to head to bed.”

You frowned. “Are you sure? Maybe eat just a little, sweetie.”

Suki shook her head. “It’s okay, Mom. I’ll be fine.” She turned to her father. “And I’m sorry, Dad. I know you worked hard to make all of this.”

Bakugou sighed. “It’s fine. Pay me back with training right after you get back from school tomorrow.”

Suki winced but nodded reluctantly for her father’s sake. “Alright.” She turned around and made her way upstairs as she called out, “I’m going to bed. Good night!”

“Good night, sweetie!” You called back out to her. You averted your attention to the delicious spread in front of you, once again thankful for having a husband who could cook so well and alleviate you from the burden of having to do so. 

“That shitty kid needs to eat more,” Bakugou grumbled, shoving his homemade meal into his mouth in the process. “She’s not gonna get stronger if she doesn’t eat well.”

“I agree with you there. At least with the eating more part.” You took a sip of water. “I hope she’s doing okay. You don’t think she’s overwhelmed at school and she’s just not telling us, right?”

“She’s fine, you’re worrying too fucking much, Y/N.” He glanced back at the stairs before eating again despite his statement. He didn’t want to say it aloud as he knew you would start freaking out but he was also concerned. Bakugou always wanted what’s best for his daughter who was inspired by her pro hero father to become a pro hero herself. When Suki expressed her interest in becoming a pro, Bakugou had to physically hold himself back in a way to not overwhelm her with how excited he was with the news. And you could see it yourself. You saw the way Bakugou perked up and seemed more enthusiastic, in his own way of course, every time Suki asked for training advice or told Bakugou about her day at school. You loved and admired their bond and how much closer they were getting the more she developed her quirk and skills. 

You leaned back, patting your full stomach. “That was delicious, Katsu.” You stood up with your empty plate in one hand and patted his head with your other. Bakugou glared at you as he stood and cleared the table. 

You went over to the sink to wash the dishes, intent on putting your share of the housework as Bakugou cooked only to be lightly pushed out of the way as Bakugou began to wash the dishes. 

“Katsuki!” You exclaimed. “You always do this. I’m supposed to be the one who cleans up when you cook.”

You attempted to push him back but unsurprisingly he didn’t budge as he ignored you and continued to clean. “Oh, shut it. Just go finish your paperwork over there.”

“Fine,” you huffed as you sat back down at the dining table. Instead of finishing your paperwork you sat begrudgingly in your seat with your laptop in your lap as you waited for Bakugou so the two of you could go to bed together. 

Thankfully with Bakugou being Bakugou, he was finished in no time and the two of you went upstairs to get some sleep. 

As you were situating yourself in bed, Bakugou stood in front of Suki’s room. He knocked on her door and the absence of a response prompted Bakugou to open the door slowly. He poked his head in and saw Suki fast asleep with her lights still on. He smiled softly at the sight of his sleeping daughter and even though he knew he was tough on her, he knew she was working hard to prove to him how she will become an incredible hero.

“Katsuki, are you coming?” You called from your room.

“Yeah, yeah,” Bakugou responded as he turned Suki’s light off and closed her door. 

The alarm blaring from her phone jolted Suki awake. She quickly turned it off, hoping it didn’t wake her parents in the same manner as it did her. The time on her phone read 3:30 AM as Suki slipped out of bed. She quickly changed out of her pajamas and into sweatpants and a sweater and tiptoed out of her room. 

Suki glanced over at yours and Bakugou’s bedroom door, thankful as it was closed shut. Sometimes Bakugou would sleep with the door cracked open slightly as he was convinced he would be able to hear anybody sneaking in if anyone attempted to rob your home or attack his family. You would call him crazy and usually waited for him to fall asleep before closing the door all the way in which Suki was ecstatic that you did so that day as well. 

Suki made her way down to the front door and took her keys and her jacket and left her home. She grabbed her bicycle that was propped on the side of the house and began making her way down the road. She shivered as the cold winter air hit her face as she rode her bike, her eyes watering as they searched for one particular person.

Suki smiled once she spotted who she was meeting at 3:30 AM on a school night.

“Took you long enough!” Yui, Suki’s girlfriend, called out from her respective bike. 

Suki grinned at her girlfriend and stopped her bike beside her. “Are you sure this place is open 24/7?”

Yui nodded. “They just opened up. Did your old man catch you?”

Suki shook her head. “I even skipped dinner and I’m starving now.”

Suki knew she wasn’t supposed to be out so late but she couldn’t help it; she missed her girlfriend. In addition, during the day she was busy at U.A. and afterwards she would train with her father. In the evening she’d have to keep up with her studies and her homework, making it almost impossible to spend time with her partner. Not to mention, Suki still hadn’t come out to you or Bakugou.

It wasn’t that she didn’t trust either of you but there was a small, miniscule feeling Suki had in the back of her mind that made her fear your reactions to having a girlfriend. Thankfully, unlike Yui’s parents, you and Bakugou never mentioned or questioned if Suki had a boyfriend, but she knew Bakugou especially would disapprove of anything that would divert her attention from her training and studies.

“Come on, let’s go!” Yui exclaimed and the two girls continued down the road to the ramen shop.

Bakugou woke up feeling immobilized. In an attempt to go to the bathroom, Bakugou tried to get up but couldn’t do so as you were literally holding him down in your sleep. Your arm was wrapped around his torso, your leg over his thighs, and your cheek was pressed against his chest. In moments like these he blamed you for making him feel sore in the morning. 

“Y/N,” Bakugou said softly as he quite literally peeled you off of his body. He was successful and he laughed once he heard you groaning in your sleep as you turned the other way.

Bakugou went to the bathroom and just as he was on his way back to his room to fall back asleep right beside you, he noticed Suki’s door was ever so slightly left open. He knew she always criticized him for leaving his door open so he knew something was up immediately.

Bakugou went over to Suki’s door, knocking once again just as he did before going to sleep earlier and again there was no response. He pushed the door open, furrowing his brows at the sight of what was supposed to be Suki’s body under her covers but Bakugou was too clever to fall for something so simple. He walked closer to her bed and pulled back the covers, not surprised to see two pillows that were formed to imitate her body.

“She fucking snuck out,” Bakugou muttered angrily to himself. He threw the blanket back onto the bed and went back to his bedroom where you were sleeping. He shook you awake. “Y/N, wake up.”

You woke up frighteningly, sitting upright. “What? What’s wrong?” You asked confused and tired. 

“Suki’s not here.”

“What?!” You exclaimed, immediately jumping out of bed and running to Suki’s room to check. You turned back to Bakugou. “Do you think she was abducted? Or kidnapped? Oh no, do you think one of those villains you fought came back for revenge?! Our poor baby–”

“Y/N, calm down,” Bakugou said, placing his hands on your shoulders. “She’s not kidnapped. That little shit snuck out.”

“What? There’s no way Suki would sneak out, Katsuki.”

“She put her pillows under the covers to make it look like she was sleeping.”

“But… why would she do that?” You questioned. This was completely unlike Suki, which made you ponder even more about her motive. Usually if she wanted to go anywhere or do anything, she would ask you or Bakugou for permission in which, most of the time, you both would say yes. 

“Who fucking knows. She’s probably out drinking or partying. She’s fifteen for fucks sake.”

“I don’t know, Katsu, I don’t think she’s the type to do something like that. The only possibility that makes sense is…” You thought about it some more until it finally hit you. “Maybe she’s seeing a boy!”

“A what?” 

“Come on, it’s the only thing that makes sense. I don’t think she’s the type to go out drinking.”

“I’d rather her go to a party than be alone with a boy this fucking late.” Bakugou clenched his fists at the thought. “I’m gonna go find her.”

“Wait!” Bakugou ignored you as he continued downstairs, grabbing his coat and throwing his shoes on. “Don’t go out and use your quirk.”

“Why the fuck not? It’s the fastest way to get to her.”

You sighed hopelessly at your husband. “It’s 4 AM, Katsu, your explosions will wake up the whole neighborhood. Just take the car.”

“I hate that fucking piece of shit,” Bakugou grumbled. “Fine.”

“And take this, too.” You tossed his phone that you had quickly grabbed, which he caught with ease. “Call me when you find her.”

Bakugou felt himself getting more and more impatient as he drove in circles around his neighborhood. He knew Suki couldn’t have gone far as he noticed her bike was missing. He checked her friends’ houses that he was aware of for any signs of partying and checked every convenience store nearby as he knew Suki loved them. Bakugou cursed at his daughter internally as she had also turned off her location on her phone. The last place left to check was the new ramen shop that had just opened and you had begged Bakugou to try out with you once he had some time off from work.

Bakugou recognized Suki’s bike parked right in front along with another bike right next to hers. To his knowledge you were right; Suki was here to meet a boy.

Bakugou felt himself getting angrier. How could Suki sneak out for a stupid boy? Doesn’t she know training has to be her top priority? Boys are a distraction and wouldn’t do her any good. He felt justified in these thoughts as he didn’t start dating until after he graduated which was when he met you.

Nevertheless, Bakugou parked and exited the car. He was planning on busting the door down to the restaurant, scold Suki, and murder whatever stupid boy had stolen his only daughter’s heart.

And Bakugou fully planned to do so until he stopped in his tracks at the sight he caught through the window. Suki was laughing, leaning on the person next to her. It was a girl. Initially Bakugou assumed it was a new friend that Suki had made until this new “friend” kissed his daughter on the cheek.

At that moment Bakugou understood fully what was going on. He was still upset that Suki felt like she had to sneak around to spend time with her girlfriend and he still thought having a partner could be a distraction but Bakugou knew he shouldn’t be physically upset as he initially intended to. 

So Bakugou waited, his arms across his chest as he leaned against his car and waited for Suki to come out from the restaurant.

When she was getting up to leave with her girlfriend by her side, Suki couldn’t remember the last time she enjoyed herself as much as she did in that ramen shop. She felt so comfortable in her skin and wished she could spend time with Yui more so that she didn’t have to sneak out like she did that night.

“I had a lot of fun today,” Yui said as the girls thanked the shop owners and made their way to the exit.

“Me too. Maybe next time we can go on a date during the day and not 5 AM,” Suki joked and Yui agreed.

“Mhm. But do you feel comfortable telling your parents?”

Suki sighed. “I want to tell them soon. It’s just so scary.”

“I get it, believe me.” Yui pushed the door open and they both walked towards their bikes. “Text me whenever you’re free again.”

Suki nodded and gave her girlfriend a small peck. “Come on, I’ll drop you off.”

“Suki, I live literally right next door. If anything I should be dropping you off,” Yui said with a laugh. “Are you okay getting home?”

Suki nodded confidently. “Absolutely. I’m in U.A. for a reason, you know.”

The girls continued and finished their goodbyes and Suki watched Yui take her bike on a very short ride to her house. She waved to Yui once more before turning around to head back home in the opposite direction. And that was when she finally saw him.

There Bakugou was, still leaned against his car down the road with stern crimson eyes watching his daughter. Suki’s eyes widened at the sight and immediately wanted the ground to swallow her whole. “Dad?!”

“About damn time you noticed me,” Bakugou grumbled, loud enough for Suki to hear as she cautiously walked towards Bakugou.

“What’re you doing here? How’d you find me?” Suki’s bike fell on its side as she loosened her grip out of shock.

“I just wanted to check on you when I woke up and saw you weren’t in bed. Do you know how fucking terrifying that is?” Bakugou asked angrily. Suki winced at her father’s tone, looking down and away from the intensity of his gaze. 

Bakugou sighed, calming himself down. After seeing how happy Suki and her girlfriend were together, he felt his initial anger diminish. “Why didn’t you just tell Mom and me you wanted to hang out with your girlfriend?” 

Suki felt overwhelmed with mixed emotions. She felt exposed but also guilty for not being open with her parents. “I-I don’t know. It was hard keeping this from you.”

Bakugou watched Suki closely and briefly. He could see her body shaking in what he assumed to be fear. He had caught her in an intimate moment with her significant other, someone that she felt that she had to hide from her parents. And it broke Bakugou’s heart thinking about how difficult it must have been carrying a secret so big and integral to who she was as a person.

Bakugou took a few steps forward, closing the gap between him and his daughter and he embraced her. Suki, whose eyes were still fixated on the ground, was taken aback at this sudden act. Her father, one who rarely showed any physical affection, was hugging her so tightly. “I can’t imagine what it must’ve been like having to keep this secret.”

Suki’s vision blurred as tears began to well in her eyes. She buried her face in Bakugou’s chest and she returned the embrace. “I’m so sorry. I should’ve told you guys,” Suki blurted out in between her sobs.

Bakugou patted her ash blonde hair down with his hand, still holding her as tight as he possibly could. “You have nothing to be sorry for. I’m sorry for making you feel like you can’t be open with me. I know I can be shitty and tough on you but I’ve always wanted what’s best for you.”

Suki sniffled as she pulled away, rubbing her eyes and ridding her cheeks from the tears that had stained them. “It’s not that I felt like I couldn’t open up to you or Mom. I knew deep down that you guys would accept me regardless if I were gay or straight but I kept psyching myself out.”

Bakugou smiled softly, patting her back. “Suki, there’s nothing on this fucking Earth you could ever do to make me or your mother disappointed in you. Even if you decided to not be a hero anymore, I wouldn’t give a shit. All I want is for you to put your all into whatever it is you do and not to half ass anything.”

Suki smiled sheepishly. “Thanks, Dad.” Bakugou knelt down and grabbed Suki’s bike, wheeling it over to his car as he put it in the trunk. 

“So am I off the hook for sneaking out?” Suki asked, hoping to hear the answer she wanted to hear as she walked over to the passenger side of the vehicle.

“Fuck no. You’re still in trouble,” Bakugou stated simply in which Suki sighed, not surprised at the answer. “Now you don’t have to sneak out to see your girlfriend, at least.” The two entered the car and Bakugou turned the vehicle on as he turned it around to head back home. 

“Can I invite Yui over for dinner sometime?” Suki asked, looking at her father expectantly.

“Yeah. You gotta explain to your Mom what happened. She’s at home thinking you got kidnapped.” The two laughed as they made their way back home to you.

If you'd like to join my taglist, please join here!

Taglist (those who can’t be tagged here will be tagged in the comments):

@ahrinine @yahuwin @heroacademiafan @kirisclementine @happygalaxymilkshake @hookedinto-fictionalworlds @yaoyoroxu @cat181818meow @mirakeul @thatpeachybandgirl @shycoffeeparadise @iambashfulperson @sugacookiies @softiehawks @averitatsuyabnha @captaincyberqueen @corvid007 @icy-hot @urmomsshousee @lmaobroccoli @anastar-legion @lowermoons @spectral-girl @mykuronekome @yourlocalsunfloweobsessedweeb @susu-chan @selfship-mishaps @nk-echi @ilovepizzaandimhot @life-is-not-daijobu @yoongiiyooo @runrabbitrun3 @dangerousluv1 @melodysakura @thooo0t @bibly @koiibin @anon-weeb-030 @magicshopowner @uglyratlmao @thathoneybee3 @yappychan @iheartfictionalboys @wisteria-and-nightshade @faeviii @soturoayami @moonlightaangel @creepyproxies @mhasimp666 @aomi04 @katonshoko @emerald-souldesert @chaotic-mushroomz @that-one-fangirl69 @yappydoo @gina239 @icedemon1314 @qardasngan

[glwmcres]

— Paige Bueckers gf headcanons

ummm

clingy gf?? like i can just see her all up on you some days especially after a long practice or losing a game

she has the worst photos of you… youre sleeping on her bed, hair all messy, mouth wide open?? shes got it and posted it on instagram stories

i can see her flexing on everyone about you. maybe yall went on a date or something and she wont stop yapping to her teammates about you

being late to practice because she doesnt wanna get out of bed with you :(

rests all her weight on top of you when cuddling, just needs to be close to your after a long exhausting day

“babe, i can’t breath”

“oh well”

stares at you with so much love in her eyes. could barely hide yalls relationship online, ESPECIALLY DURING A LIVE… she stares at you when you talk and its so obvious that she was deep in it for you

doing her hair PLEASE. i know she has that one hairstyle she wears all the time BUT, what about making her try out different ones just to play with her hair?

probably steals your clothes too. couldn’t find a hoodie for a month and then you joined kk’s live one day and paige was wearing it

username: paige is that my hoodie

“i don’t have your hoodie, what?”

dragging you out of bed so she can go buy trufru bc she ran out…

if you dont play basketball she is so forcing you to learn. bringing you to the court just so she can show you how to dribble and shoot a three pointer. she claims youre the best basketball player

if you wear make up i feel like she would help you get ready. like that one live with kate wanting to do jadas makeup ugh. would so help you and make sure to tell people she had done it

waking up in the middle of the night to her all up on you. cannot sleep in the same position at all. literal star fish position half the time. she’ll have her legs all up on you, an arm slung over your chest and all

if you ever wake up and have to pee, youre screwed!! paige is not moving off of you, she wants you in bed until it’s time for her to get up

her always wanting to help make dinner with you, especially if you love cooking/baking. she probably has a folder of recipes to use

back to the second bullet point, she has so many photos of you. has a folder named “my girl” or something cute and its photos and videos of you

makes you do tiktoks with her and kk… she’ll even kick kk out some of them so its just her and you

the fans go CRAZY over you. the amount of edits both of you get tagged in oh lord

she definitely has a folder full of edit of you because she thinks youre so pretty in them

would love getting into your interests as well. for example, you like reading?? she wants to buy every single book she sees just for you. she’ll sit there and let you go on and on about the book

i can imagine her wanting to do your nails too. but if you get them professionally done then she’ll send so many ideas for you to pick from

this is all i can think of at the moment!! thank you so much for reading, please reblog for me<3

[thefallennightmare]

Just Pretend-Twenty Five

*gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit*

Parings: Noah Sebastian x Musician! Reader

Warnings/Tropes: language, angst, fluff, smut, star-crossed lovers, right person/wrong time, cheating, talks of mental abuse.

Summary: “I can wait for years, heaven knows I’m not getting over you.” A story about two star-crossed lovers, that always find their way back because their souls are entwined. The universe desperately attempts to bring them together, no matter what the cost.

Authors Note: I AM SO FUCKING SORRY IT TOOK ME ALMOST TWO MONTHS TO UPDATE. I love you all for sticking with us through this terrible lull. But I promise(well hope to) not go so long in between updates again. Hopefully, it was well worth the wait.

Also, please let me know if the tags didn't work. Tumblr has been a pain in my ass with them lately and with how many of you wanted to be tagged, I want to make sure I didn't miss any!

FUCK YOU. EAT SHIT. KILL GOD. DETHRONE.

We are Fallenvvitch. Goodnight.

🪽🔮

Collaborating With: @thescarlettvvitch(better give her all the love as well)

Tags: @thescarlettvvitch @mitchhbitch @missduffsblog @hayleylatour @sleepyomens @loeytuan98 @artificialbreezy @marvelousmal @bngurngheart @lma1986 @dsireland86 @wild-child-7747 @calleyx13 @illmakeyousaywow @jaded-and-hollow-souls @exitwoundsx @shayzillaaaa @lookwhatitcost @badomensls @princesspeach-00 @burning-outx @shadowseve @collective-heartbreak @klutzy-kay24 @sorrowsofsilence @sweetlittlekitsune @shilohrosechicken @itsafullmoon @toospooktocute @niicoleleigh @thatchickwiththecamera @hoe-for-daddywise @whenthesummerdies @cookiesupplier @concreteemo @thisbicc @sammyjoeee @joe9cool @ozwriterchick @teenblues @bngurngheart @malice-ov-mercy @krisslee18 @xxkittenkissesxx @happi-goth @embracethereaper42 @softvgold @cncohshit @heyyoplayer @rain-down-on-me @bloody-delusion-expert @respectfulrebel @reader13000 @koskeepsake @malerieee @cheyyyyr @myownthoughts12 @noahsbong @laurpartyprogram @cloudykoookie @jessiskyee @a1ex-ba1ex @sideeyenoah @emzandthevoid @badomensls @bellaboo967 @waake-mee-up @rxdlstgn @anthemheatwave

READER

I hummed along to the tune that played on the speakers, swaying my hips, as I moved around the room helping Matt set up the equipment. 

“You don’t have to help, Y/N. You should sit and relax,” Matt said while I handed him a specific cord he was looking for to hook up to one of the speakers. 

I shrugged. “I don’t mind. I’ve always been a workhorse so the idea of sitting on my ass while you all are working doesn’t feel right.” 

He smiled. “Have I mentioned that you and Noah are perfect for each other?” 

“Once or twice,” I shrugged with a hint of a smirk. 

There was a faraway look in Matt’s eyes, one I’ve recognized all too well; loneliness. 

“Hey,” I nudged him with an elbow. “Everything alright?”

He let out a long breath before adjusting his hat, keeping his eyes cast down at his laptop, the program he uses for mixing the songs up on the screen.

“Promise not to tell the guys? I don’t need them giving me shit for it,” he said. 

Immediately I nodded and crossed my heart so he continued. “I see what all of you guys  have and sometimes, a part of me wonders if I’ll ever get anything even close to it.” 

I frowned. “Matt, you will! I don’t want to sound cliche, but that person for you is out there. They’ll show up when you stop looking. Neither Noah nor I were looking for a relationship, and look where we are now. It wasn’t an easy or short road by any means but we got here.” 

“It might be too late for me,” he grumbled under his breath before clicking away at his computer. Just as my lips moved to say something, Noah’s voice came through the speakers in the room. 

“Angel, I love you.” 

My cheeks burned as I glanced over at him with a wide smile to which he shrugged. 

“I had to test if the microphones worked,” he said. 

“Right,” I giggled while walking over to the area of the room that was set up for band rehearsals. 

Bad Omens were going on tour in two weeks, the first one since they rebranded themselves with this new era. Everyone was nervous because they wanted to make sure everything went perfectly. Part of me felt sad and guilty that I wasn’t able to go on the first set of shows because Hollow Souls had media planned. 

That may be why I kept trying to help out any way I could with the rehearsals; to show Noah and everyone else that I supported them. 

However, I did plan on meeting Noah for the last three shows, which seemed to ease the sadness on his face. We’d only ever gone a few days without seeing each other since we got together, so now that we were about to go without seeing each other for nearly two weeks, my heart hurt. 

Cheesy, but it was true. 

Noah’s hands immediately found my hips and brought me close to him, my hands resting on his chest.

“What’s wrong with Matt?” He nodded behind me. 

I played with the strings of his Hereditary sweatshirt. We just watched the movie with Jolly and Astrid last night, and my brain was still swirling with the ending. 

“I think he’s starting to feel a little alone. He sees us, Jolly and Astrid, Jesse and Maxine, and starts to feel like he missed his time,” I said under my breath so others wouldn’t hear. 

The corner of Noah’s mouth pulled down on a line as he kept his eyes on Matt. 

“Maybe the tour will help clear his mind,” he said with a sad sigh. 

“Oh, about that,” I pulled the string of his hoodie again to pull his attention to me. “Are you still upset that I'm stealing Lana from you guys?” 

He chuckled before squeezing my hips. “No, angel. Hollow Souls need her more than Bad Omens do. Plus, she found a replacement for her so Bryan doesn’t have to do most of the photography. I think it’s Lana’s cousin.” 

“Good because Malcolm felt like shit. But we don’t have a full-time photographer and want to get these promo shots out as soon as possible. Lana accepted before she knew about your tour-.” 

Noah hushed my ramblings with a gentle kiss to my lips, one that we both smiled into. 

“Y/N, it’s alright,” he muttered against my lips.

Staring up into those almond eyes I loved so much, I eventually nodded and patted his chest. 

“Okay.” 

Linking our fingers together, Noah led me to the other end of the room where Davis was working on filling up the boxes of merch. 

“I want to show you the new look we have planned for our stage outfits,” Noah said. 

My eyes widened, almost forgetting that the guys talked about changing a lot with this new era. He showed me the pants, tank top, button-up shirt, and jacket; all black. But what kept my attention was at the top of the table, Bad Omens symbols calling to me. 

“Ski mask?” I questioned. 

Noah smirked while putting it on, those eyes darkening when I sucked in a breath. 

“What does the mask represent?” I now asked. 

“My vision,” he said while adjusting it. 

“Ah, yes the vision,” I emphasized while rolling my eyes playfully. 

Noah pointed to his head. “It’s all in my brain.” 

“You have a lot going on in there,” I chuckled but kept a careful eye on the mask, assessing it while feeling the burn ignite within. 

“When you don’t occupy over 95% of it,” Noah shrugged but then narrowed his eyes. “Is the mask doing it for you, angel?” 

Davis tossed down one of the shirts he was folding and began walking away, muttering something under his breath. 

“Can’t they wait until I’m out of the room?” 

I licked my lips, doing my best to appear not turned on by the image of Noah in the mask. 

“Maybe. But I still think you’re missing one thing,” I said with a low voice.

Somehow I could tell he raised a brow. “Yeah?” 

Slinking up closer to him, I raked my nails down the exposed skin of his neck while whispering over his lips. 

“Those grillz I found hiding in your bathroom drawer,” I nibbled on his bottom lip before walking past him, purposely putting a little sway in my hips knowing he was watching. 

For the next few hours, I watched them rehearse the new setlist they created for the tour. I stood next to Matt in his makeshift sound desk, every so often watching what he was doing, and when they started to rehearse The Death of Peace of Mind, I couldn’t help but smirk when I thought back to the memory of hearing the song for the first time. 

Noah must have been as well because as he moved in place with the microphone held tight in his grasp, his eyes met mine before winking. 

“I miss the way you say my name. The way you bend, the way you break. Your makeup running down your face. The way you fuck, the way you taste,” his angelic voice sang. 

“Woo!” I yelled while holding up a finger. 

Suddenly a warm hue crept over my face when I realized I had said that out loud and slunk farther down in the chair next to Matt. 

“Woo?” He asked with a teasing grin. 

“I don’t know,” I shrugged while playing with a piece of lint on my sweatpants. “It just works. Every time I listen to the song, I always add the woo.” 

Noah, whose own smirk was wide and prideful, leaned against the mic stand; they had stopped playing with my embarrassing outburst. 

“I like it, it’s cute,” he admitted. 

“Maybe you should do it on tour,” Folio suggested to Noah with a wiggle of his brows. 

Groaning, I gathered up my things before walking up to Noah and kissing him. 

“I have to go. I have my appointment with Dr. Poulos. I’ll call you after.” 

“Don’t forget about this weekend, angel,” Noah pointed a finger. 

I nodded with a pout. “Right, our super secret date that I don’t get any hints for.” 

When Noah bid me goodbye with a gentle pat on my ass, Jolly’s voice stopped me before I could leave. 

“Hey, Y/N?” 

“Hm?” I adjusted the strap of my bag. 

He scratched at the large bun of hair on top of his head. “Is your therapist seeing new patients?” 

“Are you interested in therapy?” I asked with a raised brow.

“No,” Jolly shook his head with a sigh. “For Astrid. The last couple of weeks, she’s not been herself. I think with the upcoming anniversary of her father's death, she’s taking it hard but won’t talk to me about it.”

My heart sank for one of my best friends. We just hung out last night and I hadn’t noticed anything was wrong with her. 

“Shit, I had no idea.” 

Jolly set down his guitar. “She hides it very well. I only know bits and pieces about what happened to her father but I think she had someone else to talk about it with, it would help her.” 

“Definitely,” I nodded. “I’ll grab a card from Dr. Poulos and put in a good word.” 

Jolly placed a kiss on the side of my head. “Thank you.”

NOAH

The songs of birds danced around us as I held tightly on Y/N’s hands, the waves crashing at the pier below us and she clutched something tightly in her chest. 

“You didn’t have to buy this for me, you know?”

Even though she tried to chastise me for spending my money on her, I knew from the smile on her face that she was happy to have a new wolf stuffed animal; one that mirrored the one I gave her back on our tour together. 

The one Trey threw out of the window of their tour bus. 

We spent our entire afternoon at the California Wolf Center, seeing different packs of wolves up close and learning about them. The smile that Y/N had on her face as she bent low in front of the fence to say hello to one of the wolves a few feet away from her made my heart flutter wildly in my chest. 

If I didn’t already know that I loved her, I’d probably tell her for the first time at that moment. 

After a long drive back into the city, we decided to walk onto the pier for some ice cream. 

“I want to take care of you, angel,” I squeezed her hand as I led her towards a bench on the white sand. 

We both sat and watched the waves for a few minutes while Y/N read her book. I had my arm wrapped around her, smelling the hint of vanilla in her hair and the floral scent of her perfume as it clung to her skin, and glanced over to the bench across from us. It was an older couple, the man reading a book to his wife, and I cocked my head to the left, something about them oddly familiar. 

“Angel,” I rubbed her shoulder. 

She hummed, not taking her eyes off the book she was reading. I glanced at the title when she pulled it out of her bag. 

The Dare by Harley Laroux. 

When I asked what it was about, Y/N’s face turned crimson before waving me off and muttered something about how I wouldn’t like it. But when I read a few sentences over her shoulder, I could see why she blushed. 

Something about the girl being bent over the guy’s lap in a movie room and getting spanked repeatedly. 

“Y/N,” I said her name this time, pulling her attention away from the book and up to me. “Haven’t we seen them before?” 

She followed my gaze over to the older couple and pursed her lips, trying to think if we had. 

“We have! In South Carolina. You joined me at that cafe when I went to order all of us coffee that day on tour. They were walking ahead of us.”

Suddenly the light clicked on and I nodded when that day crept into my mind. I’d been so nervous to be alone with Y/N at the time but being so close to her in line and having her scent engulf me for the first time told me that she would sink herself deep inside of me. 

“What are the odds,” I muttered with a smile. 

“He’s reading a book to her,” Y/N mused. 

I dragged my fingers up and down her arm while gazing down at her. “Do you think he’s reading her a dirty book like the one you’re reading?” 

She smacked my chest causing an uproar of laughter from me.

“Are you going to get me some ice cream or what?” She raised a brow with a playful smile. 

I brushed a kiss along her forehead. “What kind?” 

Y/N tapped her chin in mock thought. “I’ll take a fudgsicle, please.”                                                                                                         

With a sweet kiss on her lips, I let her by herself with the wolf stuffed animal and book and walked over to the concession stand, noticing a long line already. 

It was a cool autumn day and everyone wanted to spend the last few hours of daylight outside. I, however, needed to waste another hour until we were able to head back to my house. As the line moved up slowly, I glanced down at my phone to read the last text conversation in the group chat with my roommates. 

Michael: Where are we supposed to stay tonight? 

Jesse: I’m staying at Maxine’s and Jolly’s staying with Astrid. 

Michael: Oh way to rub it in. I guess I’ll bunk with Malcolm and Chase. 

Me: Salem misses you 😂

Michael: I swear, if that cat bites my feet again in the middle of the night, I’m going to drop him off with you guys. 

Jolly: Everything is set up, Noah. We’ll be out of the house in an hour. 

Jesse: I don’t want to know what you have planned tonight but all I ask is please don’t touch my strawberries. They’re from Matt’s garden. 

I laughed while stuffing my phone back into the pocket of my gray sweatshirt and moved forward in line. My hood was up and pulled low over the brim of my hat, making it hard for anyone to recognize me. We’d been fortunate enough all day not to be bothered by fans but now seeing how busy the pier was, I wanted to be extra careful. Y/N and I had yet to make our relationship public and we were hoping to keep it as quiet as long as we could since we were becoming very private people. 

As the line shifted again, I noticed the older gentleman was now standing in front of me. With a quick glance back over to the seating on the beach, I saw Y/N still reading her book then realized the older woman was by herself, only to realize that her husband was standing in front of me, muttering something about the prices under his breath. 

 “That will be $5.95,” the younger woman smiled. 

“My lord, how times have changed. What do we expect in this economy?” He said.

I stifled a laugh behind my hand as I rubbed at my jaw. “You’re not kidding.” 

The older man patted the pockets of his tan jacket and then his pants. “I seem to have forgotten my wallet. Here, let this young man go ahead, I think my wife has my wallet.”

While reaching into my back pocket, I pulled out my wallet and waved to the worker behind the booth. 

“I’ll get it. Can you add a fudgesicle and vanilla cone, please?” I asked with a smile. 

As the worker went to work about getting my ice cream, the older man turned to look up at me; literally. 

“Oh, my. You’re a tall fella, you must have eaten your vegetables when you were a kid,” the man adjusted his glasses. 

“I’m a fan of tomatoes,” I shrugged with a laugh. 

“You didn’t have to do that,” he nodded towards the concessions where the worker handed him his two vanilla cones. 

“It’s not a problem,” I smiled at the worker after dropping a twenty on the counter, telling her to keep the change.

“You’ve got a name, son?” The older man asked as we both began walking back towards the beach. 

“Noah,” I answered after a lick of my ice cream. 

The burst of vanilla bean pleasured my taste buds and exploded in my mouth. It reminded me of something I’d like to try later.

“Well, I’ll be,” he chuckled. “That’s my name although I had it a lot longer than you, but-.” 

He waved me off but then pointed to the exposed tattoos on my fingers. “So what do you do, Noah? You have those tattoos all over and a cool haircut. Let me guess. The arts?”

I nodded with a grin. “Yes, sir. You hit the nail right on the head! How about you?”

“Ah, what can I say? I know a thing or two about predicting things. And I’ve worked quite a few different jobs in my lifetime. Restored an old house and made an art studio for my sweetheart, even got myself in the paper. But now, the two of us are here on vacation.”

We came to a stop right where the sand and concrete met and Noah smiled while pointing over to the bench I first noticed them. 

“That’s my Allie over there. Do you have a sweetheart, young Noah?” 

“I do,” I grinned. “She’s sitting right over there, the one with the book and wolf stuffed animal.” 

Old Noah’s tired eyes drifted over to where Y/N was sitting, the wind blowing through her hair, and the sight of her looking so at peace made my heart swell. 

“You know,” I shifted on my feet. “We’ve actually seen you and your wife before. It was a few years ago at a coffee shop in South Carolina. It’s a little place called Palmieri.” 

Old Noah’s eyes widened. “Well, I’ll be. What a small world. There’s no way I’d remember a name like that.” 

I licked at the chocolate ice cream that ran down my hand from Y/N’s fudgesicle and shrugged. “It’s a place that means a lot to me.” 

“How funny is that?” Old Noah’s chuckle shook his whole small frame before giving me a wink. “If I learned anything over my lifetime, Noah. It’s that fate will always prevail.”

I couldn’t help but make a face at that, only because I was becoming such a private person so it shocked me that this older man could understand parts of my life without giving much away. All of the odds and chances were starting to feel very Twilight Zone. It made me feel vulnerable and shocked that things from the universe were real. Everyone had been saying it ever since I walked off the bus on the first day of the tour and shook her hand for the first time. 

Y/N was my soulmate and I was hers.

Old Noah must have caught the look on my face and patted my shoulder. “Don’t go too far in your head, son. It could be hard to get out of.”

“Yeah,” I muttered under my breath. 

“Well, all I’ll say is hold your sweetheart close, Noah. A woman like that is hard to come by. I promise, if the two of you treat each other right, you will live the best life together.” 

I nodded with a smile. “Thank you, sir.” 

Old Noah took a few slow steps before glancing back toward me. “Thank you for being so kind, Noah. You don’t see that much anymore. Have a great rest of your day.” 

“You too.” 

I made sure to watch as he made it back to his wife, slowly sitting down next to her and handing her the ice cream cone. There was something in the way she smiled at him; almost as if she was trying to remember something. 

Then, I glanced over to Y/N, who still had her face buried in her book with a deep crimson hue covering her cheeks to the tips of her ears. Whatever she was reading in that book had her flustered in ways that made her pull at the collar of her shirt and shift in her spot on the bench. My eyes cast downward to her wrist, the metal chain catching the setting sun and I peeked down at my own. A sudden flash of a hospital bed appeared in my mind but was gone just as quickly. 

Shaking it off, I reached Y/N and handed her the fudgesicle. 

“Thank you, mochi,” she beamed at me after setting her book down. 

We ate in silence for a few moments until I noticed a strand of hair falling into her face, nearly into the ice cream, so I brushed it away and tucked it behind her ear. 

“Your hair. It was going to get sticky.” 

She left a kiss on my cheek, the butterflies in my stomach having a whirlwind of a time. 

“You’re always taking care of me, Noah. Are you going to get ice cream out of my hair even when we’re old and gray?” Y/N asked. 

I pressed a cold kiss to her forehead. “That’s the plan.” 

Old and gray. 

“How do you think I’d look old and gray?” I wondered after finishing off my ice cream cone. 

“Oh, handsome as ever and wearing a black cardigan. I bet you’ll still have the Levi cut,” she mockingly teased, resting her head on my shoulder. 

The sounds of the waves crashing ashore and laughter from the families and variety of couples brought a weird sense of calm to my ever-racing mind and heart. I did my best to heed Old Noah’s advice to not get so far in my own mind and right now, with Y/N by my side, it made it easier. The last couple of years hadn’t been easy for either of us, especially the times we almost lost each other due to our own fucked up style of communicating. But because of therapy, we were learning and growing. 

When I watched a couple, no younger than us, splash each other in the water, I was reminded of a time, long ago, when Y/N and I did the same. 

"If you were a bird, what bird would you be?" She asked when she came to a stop in front of me. 

"Well," I ran a hand over my chin to show I was thinking deeply about this question. "According to the fanbase, they see me as a duck so I guess that."

"I love that! Oh, you know what would be funny?" She grinned. 

I shrugged. "No, but I have a feeling you'll tell me." 

"When you scream to Dethrone, you should be funny by saying this is dethrone you quacks, instead of fucks. It'd be a way of showing the fans you read everything online," she deadpanned before falling into a fit of giggles and looking up to the darkening skies above her. 

Seeing how much that small joke made her laugh made me make a mental note to say that next tour. 

"What about you? What bird would you be?" 

"A crow," she answered so fast, almost as if she thought about this question in depth before. "They’re mysterious, they’re misunderstood and always take care of the ones they love.”

I hummed with her answer. "I can see that. You'd make a lovely crow." 

She bumped her shoulder with me as the waves crashed harder around us. "You'd make a pretty cool duck. And we'd be bird friends." 

"Well," I glided my hands through the water. "If you're a bird, then I'm a bird."

“Angel,” I asked, pulling her attention away from her book. 

“Hm?” 

“If we were birds, would we be bird lovers? Because last time, we were bird friends,” I said. 

The corners of Y/N's lips curled up in a smile as if the memory was replaying in her mind like a movie. 

“We’d be the best bird lovers,” she breathed with a kiss on my lips. 

Wrapping my arm around her, we let the silence fall between us again, truly enjoying this moment together. Ever since we both released new albums, our work schedule had been packed with constant media or preparing for the upcoming tour. This was a rare weekend where we all had off so neither of us was in a rush to leave. 

Well, until I got a text from Jolly letting me know that the house was empty. 

“I think there’s a fireworks show tonight at the pier,” Y/N said while looking at her phone. 

Fireworks at the pier. 

“Noah! Stop!” Y/N giggled while wrapping her arms around my neck.

“What?” I stopped spinning. “Let you go?”

She shrieked as I nearly dropped her. “No, you idiot! Don’t let me go!”

As if I had just been slapped in the face, I sat up straighter when everything clicked into the constantly moving puzzle pieces inside my mind. 

“It’ll all connect, everything!” I muttered while chewing on my bottom lip. 

“Conjuring magic there?” 

Y/N’s giggles snapped my head towards hers as I did myself to calm my thoughts so she could understand. 

“Remember at breakfast when Jolly and I were telling you our future plans for Bad Omens?” 

She nodded, a pretty confused look on her face. “Yes?” 

“The comics, the music videos, all of it. It’ll connect,” I rambled on my idea when she still looked at me confused. 

“So, the covers would be what ifs?” Y/N asked after a moment.

I snapped my finger with an eager nod. “Yes, exactly!” 

There was still hesitation on her face as she turned to face me head-on, fingers meddling with the chain around her wrist. 

“Just Pretend? Don’t you think it kind of gives away the elusiveness of everything? Of us?” Y/N wondered. 

“Not at all, angel. Let me explain,” I linked our fingers together and then went about spending the next couple of minutes explaining my grand idea. 

READER

Oh. My. Gods. 

I came to a halt in the middle of Noah’s living room, all of my breath stolen by the bright and colorful sight in front of me. On every living room and kitchen surface were bouquets; of different sizes, colors, and kinds. On the mantle of the fireplace was a large purple bouquet of Violets. On the end table next to the couch was one of blue orchids. Spread out along the kitchen island were three large vases of pale pink peonies. Besides the flowers, candles were lit and spread out throughout the open space. 

Words felt foreign on my lips as I looked at all the other array of flowers, feeling the tears well up in the corners of my eyes and my throat burned when I tried not to let out a sob. 

“Noah,” I choked while turning to look at him. “What is all of this?” 

He was leaning against the front door with an apprehensive look on his face. Immediately, I could tell he was nervous with how tense his shoulders were. 

“We never spent Valentine’s Day together,” Noah stood up straighter and cleared his throat when it cracked. 

“But it’s March,” you giggled. 

He rubbed the back of his neck. “I know. But I wanted to give this to you. I’m trying to make up for our lost time together.” 

I walked over to the bouquets of Violets on the mantel and breathed in the sweet scent. “Do each of these have a significance?” 

This seemed to break Noah out of his nervous stupor because he took off his hood, shaking his hair before coming over to me. 

“I’m glad you asked, angel,” he smiled. “The orchids and peonies represent love and admiration in Asia. The violets, also known as the Sumire, represent life and sincerity. Its small size and delicate nature represent deep affection for someone. These flowers are very important in Japan.” 

You hummed while plucking one out of the face and twirling it between your fingers. 

“Can you guess which ones are my favorite?” 

When Noah shook his head, I plucked another one from the vase this time tucking it behind his ear. 

“The violets because my affection for you runs deep. But I think you already knew that,” you pecked his lips. 

Noah gave me a bashful smile while casting his eyes down at our feet, a crimson hue coloring his face. So I cupped his cheek, forcing him to look at me, and I could feel the nervousness almost burn my palm. 

“Mochi,” you breathed. “You’re more nervous now than when you showed me my art studio.”

He rubbed at his cheek before motioning to the flowers around us. “I’ve never done this before. Dates and being romantic. I guess I want everything to be perfect. You deserve it.” 

I brought the flower that was held between my fingers up to his nose, brushing it over the freckles there which in turn, made Noah scrunch up his nose with a quiet chuckle.

The sight of him like this, bashful and giggling, made me weak in the knees so I kept myself up by grasping at the pocket of his sweatshirt. 

“Noah, it’s just me. You don’t have to do all of this or be nervous. You know I’d be perfectly fine with a simple rose stem.” 

“It’s not just you, angel. It’s all of you, everything I do now is for you. I want to make you happy,” he said while locking his hands behind my neck. 

“You do make me happy, mochi,” you professed while playing with the flower behind his ear. 

“I know,” he nodded assuringly. “But I-I didn’t have a chance to express how much I love you and want to take care of you. You mean so much to me and whatever I can do to prove that to you, I will.” 

His smile was slanted slightly and his cheeks were still flushed as he twirled a piece of hair around his lock fingers before locking them behind my neck again; keeping me in place. 

Not that I minded. I had no reason to leave. 

“I know. I love you for it,” I kissed those lips that always tasted light and sweet, like honey. All I could taste now was how unbitter it all was. 

There was no goodbye. 

All him, all sweet. 

“You’re adorable like this, mochi. Bashful every time we kiss.” 

He playfully rolled his eyes before capturing my lips again. “Laugh it up you little brat. I need your lips like I need oxygen.” 

Little brat. 

Those two words made an inferno burn deep within my core and I let out a soft moan. Titling up my chin with slight defiance at him, I gave him a teasing wink. 

“Why don’t I show you how much of a little brat I can be?” 

My breath fanned over his lips, a tease to his words, then when something dark flashed across his eyes I knew that I had less than three seconds to create some distance between us. My laughter echoed through the space of Noah’s house as his loud footsteps chased after me. I ran from his living room, through the kitchen, and into his bedroom with his tall presence hot on my ass. 

I wanted him on me in more ways than one. 

Once inside his bedroom, I stayed on one side of the bed while Noah stood on the other, both of our chests rising and falling trying to catch our breath. His hair had become disheveled in our chase and it was falling into his face, him not making a move to brush it back. Those dark eyes stared me down through the even darker tendrils and my stomach flipped when Noah cocked his head to the side. 

“I’m waiting,” he held out his hands to the side. 

I raised a brow. “For what?” 

“For you to show me how bratty you can be,” the speed at which his tongue snapped out to wet his lips was astonishing. 

A devious smirk pulled at the corner of my mouth before I made quick work of stripping out of my clothes, letting them pool at my feet. I stood in front of Noah in nothing but a pair of crimson panties. 

“Angel,” Noah’s voice rumbled deep in his chest. 

“What?” I shrugged, innocently. 

These were his favorite pair of panties. He always raved at how they stood out against my skin tone. 

“I can smell you from here,” his nostrils flared. 

“You cannot,” I scoffed while placing my hands on my hips, purposely cocking my left hip out. 

Noah didn’t say anything, instead, he hooked a finger and beckoned me over to him. I shook my head with a wicked gleam in my eyes. 

“I’m actually kind of tired,” I stretched my arms wide, faking a yawn. “I’m going to take a shower.” 

As I stepped around the bed, Noah’s quick reflexes met me halfway causing me to scream and I jumped up on the bed to get away from him. I made it two steps on top of his bed until his strong arms wrapped around me from behind, tackling me to the bed. 

“Angel,” Noah grunted while thrusting his hips into mine. “You’re such a tease.” 

I bit back a moan. “I’m not doing anything.” 

“Really?” His long finger grazed over the lacey material of my panties, teasing my clit. 

This time I was unable to hold back the moan especially when his finger slipped underneath my panties to now gather my arousal to my clit. Noah’s teeth grazed over my collarbone, tasting me and humming in approval. 

Until some noise from his computer went off and made him groan before climbing off the bed. 

“What is that?” I asked while resting up on my elbows. 

Noah clicked on his mouse a few times. “Orie wants me to get in a game with him.” 

Suddenly, a thought came to mind and I tip-toed over to Noah, wrapping my arms around his chest from behind. 

“Play a game with him,” I breathed against the shell of his ear. 

He turned his head to glance at me over his shoulder, holding my hands against his chest. “Y/N, I can tell him no. It’s fine.” 

I shook my head with a wink. “Play a game with him, Noah. Make sure the camera is off and strip down.”

His cheeks turned a deep shade of red, almost mirroring the color of my panties before I urged him to follow my orders with a swift pat on his ass. While he accepted the game invite from Orie, Noah stripped out of his clothes and sat in his computer chair. 

“Don’t forget the headset and these,” I said while rummaging around the box underneath his bed before tossing one of the objects over at him. 

I had a box of almost the same things underneath my own bed back at home.

Noah caught what I threw him mid-air, the golden lenses catching the light from the LED lights in the room.

“I haven’t worn glasses in months, Y/N. Why would I need them now?” He questioned with a slight slant on his lips while twirling the gold round glasses between his fingers. 

Rolling my eyes, I stuffed the box back underneath his bed. 

“Wait,” he pointed a finger. “How long has that been under there? And why were my old glasses in there?” 

“Noah, please,” I semi-wined while running a hand through my hair. “Can you just-?” 

With a wave of a hand to the glasses, he eventually understood why I wanted him to put them on. 

“A little role play?” He teased while putting them on. 

I sucked in a breath at the vision of him in front of me. I’d seen streams and pictures of him wearing these glasses with his long hair and I thought he was breathtaking in them. 

Now with his short Levi haircut and all of his tattoos on full display for me, Noah somehow managed to be even more gorgeous. 

With the headset on, he fell onto the computer chair and spoke into the microphone. “Hey, Orie. Yeah, I got a little bit to play a round.” 

Once I slipped out of my panties and tossed them on Noah’s pillow, I held the black rose sex toy in one hand and when I reached the corner of the bedroom where Noah had his computer set up, I froze in place. His cock was thick, almost standing straight up with how he was sitting and I bit my lip when I watched precum ooze out of the slit. 

I noticed he was already in some game with Orie, his fingers working fast on the keys and mouse, so I pressed a finger to my lips. 

“Be quiet now, Noah. We don’t need to let Orie know what we’re doing,” I whispered while straddling him on his chair so he was able to see the computer monitor. 

“Y/N,” Noah warned. 

Ignoring him, I ripped open the condom and slowly rolled it over his cock which made him let out a low noise from his chest. 

“Shh,” I hushed while clamping a hand over his mouth. “Not so loud.” 

My stomach burned with arousal, igniting a part of me I never knew existed. My sex life had improved with Noah and I was able to find out new kinks. What we were about to do, sex with someone possibly hearing was new. I knew that Noah wouldn’t let Orie hear anything but even the thought of him hearing something turned me on. 

“Is that Y/N?” Orie’s voice sounded from Noah’s headset. 

I winked as Noah’s eyes darted from the computer monitor to me. “She’s yelling at Salem. We have him here tonight and I guess he’s being too loud or something.” 

“Wow,” I mouthed, proud of how well he came up with that lie. 

With his hands preoccupied, I adjusted myself over his cock and locked eyes with him as I sunk deep on to him. My groan caught in my throat at the fullness of Noah’s cock in my pussy. It felt fresh and new every time. 

I cringed a little from the pain due to my endometriosis but as soon as I started moving up and down, the pain began to subside. Noah’s bottom lip was caught between his teeth as he tried his best to keep his attention on his computer while I rode him, slow at first. 

“Angel,” he let out quietly through gritted teeth. 

Ignoring him, I flipped on the black rose, the vibrations sounding loud in the quiet room and when I touched my clit with it I wasn’t able to keep that moan quiet. 

“Fuck,” I dragged out while leaning my head back. 

“What’s that?” Orie’s voice asked through Noah’s headset again. 

“It's so good,” my body writhed against Noah’s. 

He quickly said goodbye to Orie before exiting the game and ripping off the headset. My squeals bounced off the walls when one of Noah’s hands snaked around my throat, using his thumb to hold my chin straight. 

“Such a fucking brat,” he hissed when I rolled my hips over his cock. “What if he heard you? No one is allowed to hear those pretty little moans. Just me.” 

I whined when he pulled the rose away from my clit, immediately missing the friction. 

“I didn’t-,” I was unable to finish my words because Noah wrapped his other arm around my back to pull me closer to his chest, the head of his cock hitting that spot. 

He bit down on my breast, right above my nipple, and I cried out in pleasure. 

“I should punish you,” he rasped, voice gone with lust, and began pulling his cock out. 

“No, no. I’m sorry,” I shook my head and desperately tried to stop him. 

Noah raised a brow while tightening his grip around my throat and pushed his cock in deeper. “You’re sorry?”

I did my best to nod in his grasp. “Y-yes. Please, I need you to move again.” 

He hummed and buried his face in the crook of my neck, breathing me in. His pace didn’t increase, instead, it was even slower than before. It was as if he wasn’t even moving and I let out a groan of frustration. 

“Do you know how long I wanted to fuck you in this chair, Y/N?” 

Noah flicked his tongue over my nipple. “I’ve sat in this chair and thought of you so many times. My hand wrapped around my cock and pictures of you up on my screen.” 

My stomach flipped at his words, the image he painted beautifully on the canvas of my mind. 

“Were you wearing these glasses?” I motioned to them with a raise of my brows. 

“This doing it for you, angel? My glasses?” He chuckled before moving over to the other nipple, mimicking the same actions as before with his tongue. 

Every one of my senses was burned alive. It was like this every time Noah and I were connected; our souls becoming one. 

My nails scraped along his scalp as I pulled on his hair, yanking his head back so he could gaze up at me, our pace always in sync. 

“You could wear a mask and it would still do it for me,” I moaned while rolling my hips against him. 

“I can make that happen,” he promised before crashing his lips to mine in a hungry kiss. 

It was one of pure adrenaline, his tongue fighting mine for dominance and his teeth sunk deep into my bottom lip. I shook in his embrace when I felt the vibrations of the black rose against my clit again. 

“No-Noah,” I cried in ecstasy when the familiar heat spread to my core. 

“Good girl,” he praised in between devouring my mouth. “Say my name again.” 

“Noah,” I sang when my orgasm was on the crest, begging me to let go. 

His cock was fucking into me with absolutley no remorse. The chair beneath us was creaking and I was sure we’d break it at any given moment. My breasts were pressed tightly against his chest and the sharp metal of his chain digging into my skin added more blissful pain. My body was pulled tight with tension, knowing any moment I would snap. 

“You know what to do, angel,” Noah spoke huskily as his cock twitched inside of me when he smacked my ass. “Don’t make me fucking ask.” 

Locking eyes with him, I cried out my orgasm as my body writhed in his tight grasp, and Noah created some space between us to glance down where our bodies connected. It was wet, more than usual, and his eyes snapped away from the soaked condom and lap. 

“Angel,” his voice was deep, dropping an octave. “Did you just squirt?” 

I couldn’t speak; my orgasm took every single ounce of energy out of me. Instead, I nodded while resting my forehead against his chest and smacked away the vibrator that was still held against my clit. The aftershocks were too much and I was afraid of crumbling in his embrace. 

“So,” Noah grunted with a thrust. 

“Fucking.” 

Thrust. 

“Hot.” He growled out his release, spilling into the condom, and held me tighter against him. 

Gentle fingers grazed up and down my spine, as we both came down from our highs and I hummed in delight when Noah’s lips pressed a kiss to my forehead. 

“I don’t think I could ever sit in this chair again without thinking of you,” he mused with a light chuckle. 

Sitting up straighter, I tapped his cheek. He was still wearing those glasses and it made my pussy clench over his slightly limp cock. 

“I wonder what else we can fuck on in your house to make you think of me,” I joked before climbing off of him. 

Noah’s fingers gripped tighter into the flesh of my hips to keep me in place and he winked. “Let’s find out.” 

The next morning, I woke to gentle kisses down my spine and I smiled in my sleep haze. 

“Mm, good morning,” I grumbled into the pillow as I tucked it deep under my chin. 

“How’d you sleep?”

Noah’s gruff and sleep-filled voice made my stomach twinge but then I internally groaned when the pain from last night started to creep back into my bones. 

“I’m still sore after last night,” I sighed while turning over in bed to face him. He was freshly showered, with water droplets clinging to his hair, and wore clean clothes. 

“I wasn’t too rough, was I?” He asked while brushing away the mess of hair from my face. 

I shook my head with a lazy smile. “Not at all. I wanted all of that.” 

To reassure Noah, I kissed his lips tenderly; my essence still lingered. 

“Hungry?” He asked after pulling away. 

“Starved! Someone kept me up all night,” I exaggerated while sitting up in bed, clutching the sheet to my naked body. “I’m going to shower quickly.” 

 Ten minutes later, I stepped into the kitchen just in time to see Noah. I could see the blood rushing to his soft and full cheeks, as he continued talking with the guys who had gotten home. The mortification of knowledge was evident.

Jolly, Michael, and Jesse. 

“What’s going on?” I asked while stuffing my hands in my hoodie pocket. 

Taking a closer look at Jolly, a bright red material that was hanging loosely on his shoulder caught my attention and I stifled my gasp behind my hand. 

“Why was your swimsuit top hanging from the ceiling fan?” He questioned. 

My eyes darted to Noah. “I thought you said you cleaned up!” 

“I might have missed a few things,” he held up his hands in defense. 

I ran inside, giggles bouncing off the walls, as Noah chased me and nearly slipped on the kitchen floor due to his wet feet. 

“We can’t fuck in the Jacuzzi, Noah! The guys use it too,” I stood on the other side of the large kitchen island with my hands on my hips. 

Noah wore a wicked smirk. “They won’t know, angel.” 

I untied my swimsuit top and threw it up in the air, catching it on the ceiling fan in the kitchen. 

“If you catch me, you can fuck me where ever you want.” 

Michael came down the stairs with a troubled look in his eyes. “Why is there a folder on the computer in the studio labeled Y/N private?” 

“Oi vey,” I pinched my eyes shut while Noah rubbed my back. 

“You didn’t open it did you?” He asked. 

“No,” Michael shook his head but then his shoulders dropped. “Do I even want to know?”

“Louder! Say it louder, angel!” 

Noah grunted as he thrusted his cock into my pussy with such force, I screamed into the microphone. 

“Noah! Don’t stop. Please!” 

“Who do you belong to?” He demanded to know, sinking his teeth deep into my shoulder. 

“YOU!” I cried out with my orgasm. 

Jolly sighed while falling onto the couch and rubbed a hand over his tired eyes. 

“Everything alright?” I questioned while sitting next to him. 

He gave a half shrug. “Last night was rough for Astrid. She kept waking up with nightmares.” 

My heart dropped, knowing that her father's death was bothering her more than she would admit to anyone; even Jolly. 

“Has she talked with Dr. Poulos?” 

“No,” he ran his hands over his long thighs. “She told me she’ll reach out when she’s ready.” 

I patted his shoulder. “I’ll stop by Fika today and chat with her. I’m sure she’d like that.” 

Jolly smiled. “Thanks, Y/N.” 

The sound of rummaging around the fridge and a loud gasp made me turn my attention towards Jesse, who was holding up an empty crate. 

“My strawberries!” He exasperated while running a hand through his curls. “These were from Matt’s garden. Did you guys have to eat all of them?” 

Noah and I shared a look. “Sorry, man. They were delicious.” 

“Noah,” I breathed while pulling on my bindings. 

The cool granite beneath my warm skin brought shills to my body. I was laid spread out wide for him on the kitchen counter, blindfolded, and hands tied up above my head. 

I couldn’t see him but felt when he bit into the fruit, its juices spilling over my clit, then his warm tongue was there to clean it up. 

“Fucking divine,” Noah groaned. 

Jesse tossed the empty container in the trash before grumbling something under his breath while sitting on the couch opposite Jolly and I. Noah was finishing breakfast. When Jolly shifted in his spot next to me, my heart leaped in my throat when I saw what he had in his hand. 

“The mask, huh?” He smirked. “Didn’t think you’d be into the yellow one.” 

“NOAH SEBASTIAN!” I bellowed. “Did you just stuff the mask in the cushion hoping no one would find it?” 

He didn’t respond, simply humming along to the tune in his head. 

Michael began cleaning up the scattered mess on the coffee table when something fell out of the small black bag in his hand. 

A set of shiny grillz. 

“So good,” I murmured while running my hands through Noah’s hair as I lay on the coffee table. 

His dark almond eyes looked up at me as he continued the onslaught on my pussy with his tongue. The richness of his eyes stood out against the stark contrast of the yellow mask he wore. When he grazed his teeth over my clit, I hissed in slight pain. 

“Shit, mochi!” 

“Sorry, angel,” he whipped at his mouth, the shiny grillz on his teeth catching the light overhead. 

The slight pain turned to arousal at the sight of him and I pushed his head back towards my clit. “Don’t fucking stop.”

“Are those,” Jolly leaned closer to Michael. “Are those your show grillz?” 

“Fuck, they still look wet!” Michael dropped them to the table. 

I groaned while sinking further into the couch, hiding my face behind my hands. 

“Alright,” Noah sighed while setting down the spatula and I noticed his ears were beet red. “You guys are embarrassing Y/N! So I missed a few things, sue me.” 

“I’d like to,” Jesse grumbled while crossing his arms. “Ate all my strawberries.” 

“It’s alright,” I reassured them with a smile. “I’m sorry about the mess.” 

Micahel stomped up the stairs. “I need to take a shower to scrub out the images of you and Y/N fucking all over the house.” 

Standing up from the couch, I walked over to Noah and laid a soft kiss on his warm cheeks. “I think after breakfast we should head to the farmers market. Buy Jesse some replacement strawberries.” 

“Might as well invite Matt,” Noah suggested. 

I shook my phone in my hand. “Already on it.” 

As I helped Noah set up the table with the breakfast spread he cooked, neither of us heard the conversation between Jolly and Jesse; who were watching us with a smile. 

“You do know that when she moves in, it’s going to be like this all the time right?” Jesse chuckled. 

“Yeah, but look how happy Noah is. He deserves this,” Jolly said. 

NOAH

I bounced on the soles of my feet with excitement as I waited in the lobby, hoping to find that familiar face in the crowd of people. Y/N was joining me on the road for the last week of the tour and after being away from her for two weeks, my soul was yearning to feel complete again. This was the longest we’d gone without seeing each other and all of our Facetime calls paled in comparison to actually seeing her beautiful face. 

Throughout the crowd, a spot of aquamarine hair rushed past, only to stop when she recognized it was me. 

“Hey, Bryan said you were handing out the key cards?” The woman adjusted the camera bag over her shoulder while gripping her suitcase with her free hand. 

Our photographer fill-in for Lana. 

She tried to give me a small smile but knowing what she’d gone through the last two weeks, outside of work, I couldn’t help but feel a small pang of guilt for what I was about to do. It’d been a plan of mine and the guy's since the other day, hoping it would fix the issue that had been plaguing her. 

“Yeah,” I pulled out a familiar keycard, one I had just handed to Matt moments ago, and gave it to her. “We’re thinking of dinner and karaoke tonight if you’re interested.” 

She tucked a strand of blue hair behind her ear. “Y/N’s coming, right?” 

I couldn’t stop the goofy smile that spread to my lips. “Yeah, she should be here any minute.” 

“Cool, count me in. No offense but I’m sick of all the testosterone,” she giggled before giving me a wave and heading over to the elevators. 

“If this plan doesn’t work, I’m going to lock them up in a closet to resolve whatever they have going on,” I muttered under my breath. 

“Talking to yourself, mochi?” 

Swirling on my heels, I gazed down at Y/N who was smiling and wearing the communal gray Chief sweater. 

“Hi, angel,” I quickly wrapped my arms around her and breathed in her familiar scent. 

Y/N buried her face in my chest and her hands dug at the back of my shirt. “I’ve missed you.” 

Tilting her chin up, I left a deep kiss on her lips, not caring if anyone around us saw. 

“I missed you too,” I brushed my nose along hers, and with my arm wrapped around her, I began leading her toward the elevators. 

“You dyed your hair?” I asked as we stopped in front of the closed doors. 

She wrapped her arms around my midsection and squeezed. “My roots were coming in and I needed it to look fresh for the photos. But speaking of hair colors. The girl you were talking to, was that-?” 

I nodded with a sigh. “Yep. They’re still not talking though.” 

As we stepped onto the elevator and the doors closed behind us, I held onto Y/N’s suitcase as she looked up at me, still wrapped in my free arm. 

“Did you do what I suggested?” Y/N asked. 

“Yep, they’re sharing a room right now. So if we hear yelling they’re most likely working things out,” I said while stepping off the elevator and heading towards the hotel room. 

“YOU’RE INSUFFERABLE!” 

“REALLY? LAST TIME I CHECKED, YOU LOVED IT WHEN MY LIPS WERE ON YOURS!” 

Y/N came to a stop in front of our door and pointed to the room next to ours. “I’m guessing that’s Matt’s room?” 

“Yep,” I popped the ‘P’ as the door clicked open. 

Once we were inside, I let Y/N get settled with unpacking her things as I lounged on the bed to watch with a loving gaze. Sometimes I couldn’t believe that after everything we’d gone through to get to this point, Y/N still wanted me. 

I fucked up; a lot.

I made mistakes but those mistakes didn’t make me. 

I fought with myself, with her, with others, to finally get here. To finally have Y/N as mine and secretly in that moment, I vowed to continue to prove to her how much I loved her and how much she meant to me. 

A buzzing on the bed pulled my gaze away from Y/N’s beauty and saw her phone lit up with a message. 

“Can you check it for me?” She asked before stepping into the bathroom. 

Mom: Y/N, I’ve been trying to get in touch with you for the last week. Call me. I have something important to talk to you about. You can’t be busy with this job of yours so call me back. 

“It’s your mom,” I informed with furrowed brows. “She’s been trying to get in touch with you?”

Y/N sighed while plopping down on the bed next to me. “Yeah. It’s probably she got a new job or met some new guy that she's going to get bored with after a week. It’s nothing important.” 

I’d known Y/N for years now and I also knew when she was keeping something from me. 

I brushed away the hair that fell loose from her bun. “Is there something else going on? You know you can talk to me, angel.” 

Her eyes shone as she gazed up at me, laying a soft kiss on my palm. “I know, mochi. I know. I just don’t feel like getting lectured right now. I’m finally here with you, I don’t want her to ruin it.” 

“Alright,” I eventually nodded, and for the time being ignored the way her face fell when she deleted the text message from her mom. 

Y/N motioned to the wall opposite of us, where Matt’s room was. 

“Do you think they’ll hook up?” 

I snorted a laugh. “What’s with you setting up our friends?” 

She shrugged. “I just want him to be happy. I want our friends to have what we have.” 

“So you’re saying you’re happy?” I rested my forehead against hers, breathing in the familiar scent of her peach body wash. 

“I am very happy,” she breathed before kissing my lips. “What about you?” 

“Very,” a kiss to her lips. 

“Very.” 

Another kiss. 

“Happy.” 

Another kiss. 

When her giggles filled the room, my heart stuttered in my chest. “I love you, Y/N.” 

She twirled a strand of my hair around her finger. “I love you too, Noah.” 

I laid there with her in my arms for a long time, the never-ending silence becoming a bit of comfort to us. We could lay next to each other for hours, not saying a word to each other, but we both knew how much we loved each other. 

“Oh before I forget,” Y/N removed herself from my tight grasp, and her voice carried from the bathroom. “I brought some facemasks. I thought we could stay in and relax. I know you have a long day of rehearsals and the show tomorrow.” 

Facemasks. 

Hotel room. 

Suddenly there was a vice grip around my throat, caging in the oxygen I was desperate to take back. Its large claws dug into my jugular, making the room tilt on its axis. I couldn’t center on my breathing, I couldn’t focus on anything in front of me. 

“I didn’t bring any nail polish this time,” Y/N’s giggle barely broke through the haze. “And I can’t braid your hair.”

Nearly stumbling over the suitcases on the ground, I rushed past Y/N just as she stepped out of the bathroom and let the door to the hotel room slam behind me. The air in the hallway of the hotel was thicker, nearly making it impossible to catch my breath. The tight grip around my lungs and heart would not let up. 

"I know what I feel. It’s not you, it’s me, Noah."

I shook my head furiously when the past began to creep in.

"No. Fuck, angel! Stop! The future hasn't even happened yet. Please, don't-what do you need to happen?"

Y/N’s bottom lip trembled as a broken sob clawed its way through her throat. "I-I think we need to remain friends right now. I can't-I can't get lost in you, Noah. It's so fucking easy to. I think we need space."

How she looked that night, moments before leaving me, continued to haunt me. 

"I-I don't fucking want that, Y/N. I just want you!” My voice bellowed.

"Noah, please understand where I'm coming from," she begged.

"Angel-I. Please, just-," I eventually sighed in defeat.

Her broken eyes shined with her tears. "I'm going to head out."

I dug my palms into my eyes as I stood in the middle of the hallway, trying to stop letting my mind fall back into the past. All it took was two fucking words and I was back to that shell of a man I used to be. 

Face masks.

I immediately flooded to where I was before all this. I felt like a scolded child with aging wounds.

Embarrassing. 

Why did I just do that? Why did I leave the room for air? When the air I needed was back in the room? The emotional hurricane was in full force today. On the surface, it’s joking and light, but then it wants to pull me into the vortex. With each jibe, I feel the winds clipping wings of my own. I can’t allow it. 

I refused. 

I won’t circle the fucking drain. I began to feel my body relax and my voice flowed out calmly, instead of me being pulled in. 

I decided I needed to inhale the air I could never survive without.

“Keaton,” I cried softly while rubbing at the ache in my chest. “I need you, man. Please tell me everything will be alright.” 

With the feeling of someone holding me upright, a soft breeze blew through my hair in the middle of the hotel hallway. A door down the hall opened, catching my attention immediately was a man wearing an all too familiar band t-shirt. 

Too Close To Touch.

Along with the soft touch encasing me, I let out a quiet hum as a haunting flow of lyrics poured out of me. 

“If you still want to sing, fill in the blanks we need. You can do it through me while you're gone.”

Then as quickly as those arms wrapped around me, they were gone and I felt alone in the hallway. But not before a soft voice whispered in my ear. 

It’s okay.

Knocking on the hotel room door, realizing I didn’t have my key, I saw Y/N’s dark eyes staring daggers into me. All that inner rage inside those beautiful eyes made the guilt for walking away from her eat away at me even further; I deserved it. 

When the frustration builds and I think I might explode, I have to remember to take a deep breath. So many times I’ve wanted to say things, or say anything. It was a long process with learning how to deal with it. 

Her nostrils flared as I gently walked past her into the hotel room. Y/N needed to hear my explanation. I was ready to move forward. Reaching for a life I so badly yearned for with her. Here she was, in front of me. She was mine and she loved me. 

Say something, you idiot!

“Angel-.” I began. 

“What the fuck was that?” She whipped her head back at the door.

Oh shit, she’s mad.

The voice in my head didn’t sound like mine. Instead, it sounded like an old friend. 

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have walked out on you like that. It’s just when you mentioned face masks and braids, my mind went back to a place, a darker place,” my hands shook as I stuffed them in my sweater pocket. 

The anger in Y/N’s eyes vanished when it clicked for her what moment I was talking about. 

“Mochi,” her voice wavered. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for you to go back to that night. I know how hard it was for you, for both of us. I just thought we could recreate that night, the positives, and make up for the negatives.” 

I linked our hands together to pull her into my chest, laying a chaste kiss on her lips. 

“I’m ready to create many positive memories with you, angel.” 

“Good,” she gave a small nod. “But next time something like this bothers you, please talk to me. Because you can't just run from sadness when it gets too hard to stay.” 

“Really?” I snorted. “You’re using my lyrics on me?” 

“Did it work?”

I wanted to kiss that hopeful smile off her face. 

Instead, I winked and then pressed my hips into her, my cock brushing along her pussy. “You tell me.”

“You know,” her fingers danced through my hair. “I do miss a few things about that night.”

I cocked a brow. “Yeah?” 

Y/N stood on her tiptoes to brush her lips across mine. “I missed how I rode your cock while pulling on your braids.”

I shook my hair in her face. “You can still pull, angel.” 

With one quick scoop, I had her in the air for a few moments before her body fluttered to the bed like the angel she was; her giggles bouncing off the walls. I was on her in a flash, attacking her lips with mine. Ravishing them like a man starved, wanting to lick up every last drop of the meal put out in front of him. Her tongue always molded perfectly with mine and Y/N hummed in delight when she tasted me. 

“Shit, mochi,” she moaned while arching her neck back as I attacked the sweet spot between her shoulder and neck. 

My cock twitched underneath my sweats and I rutted into her thigh. “Angel, I missed you.” 

She reciprocated the feelings by kissing me again and slipping her hands underneath my sweater to drag her nails down the tattoos on my stomach. I shivered under the touch, loving the feeling of the burn her nails left behind, and I stripped her of her clothes, me following suit—all the while our lips never left each other. 

Her skin on mine felt like the wings of an angel; soft and almost incandescent. 

Her lips were like honey, sweet and sticky with gloss. 

The arousal that I gathered with my fingers and sucked clean had a lingering tangy taste, something I found myself wanting more of. 

A scent and taste that was distinctively Y/N. 

“I love you,” I vowed in between kisses while I pumped my fingers in and out of her, using my other hand to lock her hands above her head.

“I love you,” she keened when my knuckle brushed over that spot. 

The last time we shared a hotel bed, it ended with two broken souls, desperate to be molded back together. They spent months yearning to find each other again and now that they were connected again, we both refused to let something so minuscule as face masks ruin it. 

READER

“Noah, stop!” I giggled when his lips brushed along the shell of my ear.

“Please, angel,” his gruff voice begged as his arms wrapped around me from behind. 

I turned in his embrace, linking my fingers behind his neck, and marveled at those almond eyes I adored so much. 

“No, Folio and Michelle are going to be here any minute,” I reminded him. 

Noah adjusted the glasses on his nose with a pout. He woke up this morning with irritated eyes and not wanting to make it worse with contacts, he opted to wear his glasses. 

Not that I minded, it reminded me of the time in his computer chair. 

The tour ended a few days ago and now that all of us were back home, we decided to meet up at the local aquarium so Folio could finally introduce us to his girlfriend. But Noah, however, had other plans; ones that involved us sneaking into the backseat of his SUV so he could fuck my throat. 

Tempting. 

“He’s been talking about introducing us to Michelle for two months now, are we sure today is the day?” Noah asked. 

I shrugged while pressing a kiss to his cheek. “I think so. Look how nervous he looks!” 

Both of us gazed over to the other end of the lobby of the aquarium where Folio stood alone, hands shaking at his sides. We could practically see his heart jumping out of his chest due to his nerves. 

“He’s never been this nervous before,” Noah murmured. 

“Can you blame him? Look what she’s about to walk into,” I waved a hand at our large group. 

Chase and Malcolm were looking at the large tank in the lobby that housed a variety of fish. Chase had his hand on Malcolm's lower back as he whispered something in his ear. 

Jolly and Astrid stood a few feet away from us, a small smile pulling at her lips when he braided her long white hair for her. 

Jesse and Maxxine stood with Davis, Michael, and Matt, conversing about something we couldn’t hear. But I watched with careful eyes as Matt’s gaze kept darting back to one certain area in the lobby; where a blue-haired girl was currently talking with Bryan. 

Most likely about cameras.

When Matt’s eyes locked with mine, I motioned with a finger over to the girl but he rolled his eyes playfully before going back to talking with Michael.

Nicholas had sauntered up to Folio, giving his shoulder a reassuring squeeze. 

There were a lot of us in our group but we were family. All of us. 

“Folio! How did you and Michelle meet?” Davis questioned when all of us met in the middle of the lobby. 

“At the Harley shop,” he chuckled, his earring shaking with the rumble of his body. “She wore her Motley Crue shirt and these cheetah flare suede pants. Her lips were red as fuck, I’ll remember those lips anywhere.”

All of us could hear the dreamy tone in his voice when he spoke about her and how the first thing that caught his attention was how she stood up to the man behind the counter who almost refused her service because he thought she didn’t know anything about bikes. 

“I thought she was going to kick this guy's ass until I stepped in. We hit it off right away and she asked if I wanted to visit this Mexican ice cream shop around the block,” Folio smiled. 

Just then someone walked up behind him, wrapping his arms around him, and I could see all the nerves slip out of his fingers. 

“Hi, sweetheart,” he grabbed her hand and brought it to his lips with a kiss. 

Michelle smiled, showcasing off those red lips. “Hi, cinnamon.”

“Cinnamon? Really?” Matt teased when Folio’s cheeks turned a deep crimson. 

“Everyone, this is Michelle. My girlfriend,” he said with a proud smile. 

While all the introductions happened, I gave her a big welcoming hug, I left Noah with a quick kiss on his lips. 

“Where are you going?” He pouted while reaching for my hips again. 

I giggled and playfully smacked his hands away. “I’m going to talk to Matt quickly.” 

Immediately Noah understood and dismissed me with a gentle pat on my ass. I found Matt standing a few feet away from the group of girls, his own dreamy smile on his face as he watched her carefully. 

“Hey,” I tipped the rim of his hat. “It’s rude to stare.” 

“Like you’re the one to talk,” he playfully shoved me. “With all the staring you and Noah did before you got together.” 

I narrowed my eyes at him. “Very funny, Dierkes. I just came over to see how things are going with a certain fairy?” 

Suddenly as if she heard me speak of her, that familiar airy laughter reached Matt, who clutched at his heart. 

“I’m so fucked,” he admitted with a slight lift of his lips. 

[amcoffey]

Feel Better

Trafalgar Law x chronically ill Reader

(It's a little bit of a "squint your eyes to see the romance" deal)

Summary:

You’ve never missed a dose. No matter what medicine you were on, you took it at the exact dosage and the exact time needed. This truly is no small feat. You have been on a lot of different medicines in the many years since your diagnosis. Pills, injections, IV infusions. It didn’t matter what it was: you never missed a dose. Well… Never until now. To think the only time you’ve ever missed a dose of your meds is because you got isekaied into One Piece. It sounds like a bad joke. Who is going to ever believe you? Note: One Piece belongs to Echiro Oda. Not I, a lowly fanfiction writer, who is just using his characters to cope.

Word Count: 3,249

CW: Chronic illness, medical jargon, descriptions of pain

Other tags: hurt/comfort, angst, second person perspective, probably out of character Law (ya girl hasn't caught up yet. I'm in Wano)

You’ve never missed a dose. No matter what medicine you were on, you took it at the exact dosage and the exact time needed. This truly is no small feat. You have been on a lot of different medicines in the many years since your diagnosis. Pills, injections, IV infusions.

It didn’t matter what it was: you never missed a dose. 

Well… Never until now. 

To think the only time you’ve ever missed a dose of your meds is because you got isekaied into One Piece.

It sounds like a bad joke. Who is going to ever believe you? 

You wouldn’t if you weren’t in that exact situation. You'd laugh if it wasn't for the anxiety raging within you. Sat in your uncomfortable seat, your leg bounced uncontrollably. You ignore the calculated gaze of the man in front of you.

“Can you please explain what happened?” He was quick to the point. There was no nonsense with him. He wanted to talk about what happened. 

And, to put it simply…

“I can’t.” You didn’t. 

A large part of you was hoping desperately that maybe if you prove you’re more trouble than you’re worth he’ll drop it. Law’s eyes narrowed. 

“Can’t? Or won’t?” To your disappointment, he wasn’t giving up that easily. 

“Both actually.” You answered, defiance in your voice as you glared at him. “Can I go now?”

“Nope.” His steely eyes don’t leave yours as he sits forward in his chair. “Not until you tell me what happened.”

“There’s nothing to say.” You lied. He let out a tight sigh in response. 

“You cannot think I’d believe that given what happened.” 

“Nothing happened.” You insist as you stand from your chair. Pain immediately shoots through your stomach that you do your best to ignore. It didn’t matter though because Law definitely noticed the wince. “Anyways thanks for the talk captain! I’ll be seeing you!” You move to push past him but you're stopped when he sticks his arm in your way. 

“Sit down.” Law didn’t even move from his seat but effortlessly pushed you back in yours. “Where are you hurting?” 

“Umm… Nowhere.” You were pushing his buttons, you knew you were. But you'd rather make the Surgeon of Death mad at you than discuss what he wanted to. Law sighed as he shook his head. 

“You’re being stubborn,” You lowered your gaze to the ground. You can’t look at him. “Why can’t you just talk about it?” 

Why? Why can't you talk about it? Because you were not in this situation. You couldn’t be! You were not about to talk about your chronic illness with Trafagalar Law of all people. 

Because why would you tell him about it? You were in remission, you were fine. Whatever happened that got him so worked up was just… A fluke. 

It had to be. 

“Has this been an ongoing problem?" He speaks up again as he shifts forward. "Why haven’t you said anything about it?” 

“In my defense,” You sat back in your chair and sighed. Your arms circle around your torso. You were looking everywhere but to him. “I didn’t think I’d be here for this long.”

“Defense noted,” He states. "But you are here. You have been." Given how uncooperative you’ve been, you expected him to start getting angry by now. And yet, when you braved a look at him, you saw his gaze was much softer than you were expecting. “I suggest you explain. You happen to be with the best doctor around. I can help.” 

You scoff. Gaze darted back to the floor. That wasn’t the first time you’ve heard that. 

In fact, you heard those words the day you got teleported here. You had switched health insurance and had to change gastroenterologist. That day you had your first appointment with him. 

“I’m the best around.” He had reassured you. But when you started giving your medical history he cut you off. Just to tell you a bunch of basic information you already knew.

"Your condition is an autoimmune chronic disease. There is no cure."

As if you hadn't spent the last 10 years grappling with that fact.

And then when you got home you passed out and ended up in the Grand Line. 

At first you thought the scariest part of showing up here was the fact you had no idea where ‘here’ was story wise. Back at home, you were reading One Piece. You had just read about the Strawhats getting an SOS call that told them about a place called Punk Hazard. But you couldn’t get farther in the manga. You were waiting for the next volume to arrive to your apartment. The ironic thing is it probably arrived by now.

But you were wrong to fear the characters and story. The actual scariest thing about being here was what you were dealing with right now.

“Hey,” Law’s soft calling brought you back to reality. A reality you wanted nothing to do with. 

“I don’t want to talk about it, ok?” Your voice was smaller than you wanted it to be. He sighs and there’s some note of understanding in it. 

“Have you ever thought that maybe talking about it will make you feel better?” 

“It won’t.” You say with certainty. Then knowing he was going to have more questions you didn't want to answer you add “Talking about it reminds me it’s there.” 

“Oh really?” His voice is still soft but there’s some exasperation behind it. “And the debilitating abdominal pain you were in not 30 minutes ago doesn’t?” Well… Shit. He had a point. 

"I didn't say it was abdominal pain." You countered. It was the wrong thing to focus on. But it was something

"You didn't have to. I could tell." His lips quirk up in a victorious smirk. "Doctor. Remember?" You roll your eyes and return your attention to the floor.

"I'm not saying a word." The smirk he had on must have been wiped off by now but you didn't check. You saw in your peripheral as he dragged his hand down his face.

"Come on! You were practically paralyzed." You winced, this time not in pain. But because of the truth his words held. "You wouldn’t move, wouldn’t talk. Your face got deathly pale and patchy. You keep pretending that’s nothing but that… That was not nothing.” 

Why do you even care? You bite back the question as your leg continues to bounce. It didn't matter why he cared. What mattered was he was right.

That's when the it hit you...  

Paralyzing pain… Mouth sores that’ll make eating impossible. Fatigue that makes me wish I wasn’t awake. Your arms started to tremble, your leg bouncing more and more without your knowing. Vomiting up my meals, the malnutrition. the depression... I can’t escape it.. More and more thoughts flood your head, capturing all your attention.  You don't notice Law look at you in concern, opening his mouth to say your name.

You shoot out of your seat, knocking it to the floor.

“I need to go.” You rush to the door. I need to leave this room, this world, I need to go, I need to go back!

Home....

 You don't think as your legs move on their own. They're rushing you out of the room. But before you can even get to the door, Law is there. He has a hand on it, preventing you from leaving. 

“Hey-” He tried to reason with you but you weren’t having it. 

“No, please just stop.” You were shaking at this point. Pain was creeping back into your guts, expanding them, filling you with dread. You can feel your face grow paler, accompanied by patches of hot skin. “I-I need to leave.” 

“No.” Law’s gaze hardened as did his voice. His eyes scan your appearance, studying you. You hate it.

"Stop looking at me!"

“You need to tell me what’s wrong with you!”

“What’s wrong is that fact that it took me 3 years to finally get a handle on my last flare up!" Panicked words were bubbling up faster than you could suppress them. "And now all that work was for nothing because I’m relapsing!” Tears were streaming down your face. The pain was unbearable and you squeeze your eyes shut. Your shaky legs were barely holding you up even though you wanted nothing more than to collapse.

You were so happy and so healthy for the first time in so long. This couldn’t end. This couldn’t be the end!

“Let me help you.” Law insisted. His hands brush against your elbows and you snap backwards. Your knuckles were white from how hard you onto your arms. You looked like you were holding yourself up.

“You can’t-” 

“How do you know that?” He demanded. He had been doing a remarkable job holding back his emotions but they were starting to spill out too. “You won’t even let me try?!”

“You think you're the first person who wanted to try and fix me?!” The tears in your eyes made if hard to see him. “I got worse with my last doctor! And talking about all of this just reminds me of all the hell that is awaiting me because I've skipped too many doses!” Your body wracks hysterically. You lean again the wall to help you stand as pain ravages your guts. You don’t notice how Law is in front of you again until he gently grabs your hands. He lets them tremble in his.

You can't find it in yourself to stop. “For 3 years nothing worked and now I have something that works and it is about to be ruined because I’m missing too many doses because I’m in One Piece. The best thing I can do for myself is go home! I hav- I have to…” Finally, after holding all it in for so long, you break down into incoherent sobs. Law lowers your head onto his shoulder as you sob uncontrollably. He doesn't say anything. He just holds you against him, supporting you with everything he's got.

You hunch inwards, crying even harder as your insides twist in agony.

You know from much too much experience that once it starts, you can't do anything to make them better. You just had to wait the pain out.

Pathetic cries come from you as you think I can't believe I'm relapsing.

….

It takes so long for you to calm down. The pain subsided after a while but you were still crying when it did. 

It didn’t matter to Law. He was patient. Neither of you move from your spots. It's only when you let out an almost relieved sigh that he moves to lift your head up. A gentle grasp on your chin has you tilting your head up for him. And a careful look told you he was studying your features again, looking for signs you were in pain. When he didn’t find any he exhaled a sigh. 

You half expect him to spit some sort of sarcastic remark about how dramatic you’re being. But instead he asks: “Can we sit back down?”

You nod weakly and let him guide you back to the chairs. When you sit down you don’t look at him. 

But you know he’s looking at you. But he doesn't say anything. Maybe he didn't know what to say. You wouldn't blame him.

It was quiet for a long time. Just the sound of your hiccups and sniffles. 

Until finally… 

“I had a terminal illness when I was a kid.” He broke the silence. He caught your attention with that. Your eyes slid over to him, eyebrows knitted together in worry. “It didn’t really get bad until I was a teenager. But by the time I was 10 I knew I was going to die. And when the symptoms finally showed I just knew that my life was over.” His gaze was heavy and his usually sardonic smile held so much sadness in it. “I can still remember the pain. I felt like my body would give out at any moment. Everything hurt.” As he spoke his hand drifted to his chest.

He continued. “I had come to terms with my death. But... There was someone who didn’t. And that someone saved my life.” When he looks back at you his eyes brighten a little. He brings his hand to the back of your neck and pulls you forward until your forehead rests on his. “I’m not giving up on you. I know you’ve felt it too, that your life is over before it could begin. It’s not. I promise you.” 

You didn’t know what to say. 

“How.. How are you alive?” You couldn't help but ask. If his disease is terminal... He gives you a smirk. 

“I’m not lying when I tell you I’m a really good doctor.” You’re taken aback. “Is your illness terminal?” He asks and you feel his thumb draw circles on your neck. It's so calming you almost forget to answer his question.

“No, I don’t think so. I’ve never heard of anyone dying because of it.” You speak truthfully. “But it could ruin my intestines and cause them to stop working…And...” The tears start to return. Oh god… 

“It’s alright,” He whispers. “That’s not going to happen.” 

“How do you know?” 

“Because I’m going to help you. I thought that was obvious.” He laughs lightly. 

"Oh... Right." For the first time since he first sat you down, you smile.

“Do we…” You sniffed as another question popped up in your head. “Do we even have the same medical knowledge? O-or vocabulary?” Law tilted his head against yours. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Well... Do you remember when I said I was from a whole 'nother dimension?”

A scoff escapes from his lips. “How can I forget?” 

“Yea so… Doesn’t that mean we have different knowledge?” You leaned back out of his reach, raising your arms. “Our worlds have such different histories. That means we have different medical history right? What if I tell you and you don’t even understand?” 

“We’ll never know if you don’t tell me anything.” He gave a small smirk that was borderline infuriating. But you couldn't find it in yourself to be mad. You let out an exhausted sigh but nod. 

“...Ok. I’ll talk.” Law gives a genuine smile and gets up to grab his notepad. When he sits down again you have his full attention. 

Here we go.

It takes some time to explain your situation. You explain the name, the symptoms. You watch helplessly as Law writes down what you’re saying. 

“Are these episodes you’ve been having today normal?”

“Only when I’m flaring up. That’s the abdominal pain. It feels like something is expanding in my guts, past their limits.” 

“How do you treat your condition?” 

“With medicine.” Medicine that I am more than certain doesn’t exist here. “Every 14 days I take 80 mg over 0.8 ml of Humira or Adalimumab. It’s an injection that goes either into your thighs or your stomach.” As you recite the information you're painfully aware of how it had been since your last Humira shot. Law picks up on this but doesn’t state the obvious that you’ve been on his ship for over 4 weeks. Your leg starts bouncing again.

Law doesn't look up from his writing but says calmly "You have nothing to fear."

Your leg bounces less after hearing that. And a smile grows on his face.

When Law finishes writing you have to ask: “Did you understand anything that I said?”

“Pretty much. I mean your disease is called something else over here. But there is documentation about these symptoms in our world.” He smirked as he glances to you. “And you thought I wouldn't be able to be help.” You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face. 

“Wait.." You pause, taking in his words. "You think you can actually help?” Law scoffs.

“I’m pretty offended you thought I couldn’t. Do you really think so little of me?” You shrugged. 

“I’ve gone through many doctors, captain. You aren’t the first person to act like you could be my savior.” He rolled his eyes and studied his notes again. 

“You mentioned not having control over your illness for 3 years. Was that when you were diagnosed?” 

For some reason that question startles you. “No, that was just when it last flared up. I've been diganosed since I was a teenager.” Law looked like his heart dropped as he looked back at you. 

“How old were you?

“13.” You try to answer as if this wasn’t the most tragic part of your story. You were just barely a teenager and your whole life got turned upside down in the span of a day. 

You could remember lying in that hospital bed. Your doctor spoke to your parents, using terms he didn’t bother to define for you. 

"Their condition is an autoimmune chronic disease. There is no cure."

It took you a few years to truly understood what that meant.

“... I was 13 when I got rid of my illness.” Law softly spoke up. Your eyes found his.

“Really?”

“Yea.” He sighed heavily. “It’s insane to think that while I was curing myself of my condition, you were just getting yours.” There’s a distant look in his eyes. “But also… How you talk about this speaks to years of experience. I’ve never had a patient tell me their treatment plan in as much detail as you can.” You give a humorless laugh. 

“What a useless skill I have.” 

“Clearly not useless.” Law scoffs lightly. "And this disease. It's a problem with your immune system?"

"Yea. It gets confused and attacks healthy cells, mistaking them for unhealthy ones. I don't know the exact science of it."

“That's fine." He reassures you. "It sounds like you just need an immune system rewrite.” You lift your head up and look at him in confusion. 

“What? To treat it I just need to block some of its functions so it doesn’t go out of control and attack everything.” You ignore the obvious that you don't know how that would work as you look at Law.

“I’m not talking about treatment.” He stands up and pats your head. “I’m talking about curing you.” The words pass through your ears and make you dizzy. 

Cure… Me? I can be cured? 

Law starts to walk away, going to a desk and rummaging through it as you process those words.

"...Why?" You speak up as you gaze in his direction. He turns to look at you.

"Why what?"

"Why are you helping me? Is there a catch or something?" He looks a little perplexed, like he didn't know the answer himself. But in the end he just shrugs.

"It's nice having you on my crew. You can offer insight that no one else can, being from another universe and all."

It felt like there was more to it than that. But you don't push it.

“And you can do it? Just completely rewrite my immune system?” Law just smirked and lifted his eyebrows in a cocky manner. 

“You say our world is what… A series of comic books in your world?” 

“I mean that’s putting it mildly but yea.”

“How far did you get in those comics?” 

“Uh… Punk Hazard?” 

Law laughs lightly and looks at you. “You definitely don’t understand what I can do.” 

Author's Note:

My partner is convinced Law could fix me. So I wrote a roughly 3,249 word one shot about that fantasy. What a nice fantasy that is. Originally wrote this for ao3 but thought it might do well here. Hope you enjoyed this wildly out of character fic. It's my copium :]

[mrsjellymunson]

🎩 Top & Tail 🎩

Written for the @steddiemicrofic May prompt ‘top’. WC: 510. Rating: M. CW: Mentions of arousal, swearing, passing allusions to BDSM. Tags: Rock god!Eddie Munson; Steve Harrington realises he has a crush on Eddie Munson; Steve Harrington’s bisexual awakening.

On a day trip to Indie, Robin persuades the gang to visit her favourite curiosity shop.

Browsing, Eddie spies a vintage silk top hat, immediately gravitating towards it.

It costs way more than what Eddie’s got in his pockets, but when is he ever able to resist a cool and quirky trinket?

Sensible Steve says it’s stupid, expensive, when will he ever wear it, blahblahblah. Points out the threadbare fabric, absent ribbon, like what’s even the point, dude?

To everyone else’s delight, Eddie’s prancing around the store, kicking his feet and waggling the hat, singing Willkommen from Cabaret.

Stopping by an ornate mirror, he plonks it on his head, checking the fit.

As he plays with angles and positions, Steve freezes mid-sentence. Observes how it fits perfectly. How the worn, black, silky finish compliments Eddie’s pale skin and accentuates the new ink on his collarbones that’s already framed beautifully by his ripped neckline. How it pushes his bangs a little further over his eyes, and how that somehow makes his stare even more intense, domineering.

Steve swallows hard. Feels his dick stir. Decides against any further words of discouragement.

Robins gushes, “Ohmygoddd, you look sooooo cooooool!”

Jonathan and Argyle agree. Even Nancy says she likes it.

Eddie grins wider than Steve’s ever seen, emptying his pockets and mumbling something about foregoing lunch for a month. The others chip in change, ones and fives, and the storekeeper even knocks off a few bucks for Eddie’s enthusiasm.

Steve proffers a crumpled twenty, ignoring the others’ reactions as he ticks up a half smile and nods at Eddie’s quiet, “Dude, are you sure?”

He mumbles assent, adding, “Man, even if I think it’s a waste o’money, sometimes there’s things you’ve just gotta have. Right?”

Two weeks later, the gang are at The Hideout to watch Corroded Coffin perform.

Eddie’s in his element, at his manic best as he strides onto the stage, and Steve freezes again. Eddie’s wearing his usual skintight jeans, studded jewellery, many-buckled platform boots. But tonight he’s added a black tailcoat adorned with pins and chains. No shirt. And that damned hat. There’s studded leather where the ribbon should be, and the embellishments and silk fabric shimmer under the spotlights. The ensemble has a mildly unsettling vintage charm, and the effect is stunning, garnering whoops and hollers from the crowd.

Eddie struts around like it was made for him. And when he gets too hot on stage, does he take it off? No. The bastard goes and removes his damned jacket instead…

The rest of the group are swaying, bopping their heads. Jonathan and Argyle are even having an air guitar contest.

But Steve can’t move. He’s transfixed by the movements of Eddie’s half-naked body, his ink dancing, sweat glistening on his ivory skin, his commanding presence. And the way that damned hat makes him look like a fucking ringmaster.

Another image crosses Steve’s mind.

He just needs the whip…

And Steve realises, in one earth-shattering moment, that Eddie’s already the master of him.

Things you’ve just gotta have, indeed…

Thanks so much for reading!

If you liked this you can check out more Steddie ficlets on my masterlist

Tagging the usual suspects: @joejoequinnquinn @jamdoughnutmagician @curlyjoequinn @madaboutmunson @airen256 @sunshinepeachx @the-unforgivenn

[raina-at]

Laugh

Please don’t ever become a stranger whose laugh I would recognise anywhere

The city lights reflect on the Danube river on this mild summer evening. The whole city is outside, at least it feels like it. Restaurants and bars and cafes have all put their chairs and tables outside. Schanigarten, the Viennese call it. A delightfully chaotic yet orderly habit of using public land for the enjoyment of everyone. 

Sherlock should sleep. But the city is so lovely, and the night is so mild. For once, he’s not being chased, or shot at, or hunted. He’s waiting, for new papers, for a new identity, and Vienna in June is a good place to wait. 

The wind smells like hope and a river in a city. It reminds Sherlock of London. The Danube is a different beast altogether, of course, the great stream meandering through most of middle and eastern Europe before making its way into the Black Sea. It’s been a recurring companion, in Romania, in Germany, in Hungary. Here, in Vienna, he feels like it’s greeting him like an old friend. 

He’s walking through the inner city, just enjoying the anonymity of the masses, tourists, mainly, but many locals as well, having a beer or a glass of wine outside after a long work day. It smells vaguely of frying fat and horse manure. It reminds him of London again, of walking down Whitehall past the horse guards.

Soon. He can go home soon. One last job. Mycroft promised. 

Suddenly, out of nowhere, he feels like some invisible hand has reached into his chest and is piercing his heart.

That laugh…

It can’t be.

He steps into a doorway and looks around, tries to isolate the sound.

He’s not here. You’re kidding yourself. You were thinking of him. Of home. 

There. In the Schanigarten across the street. A group of British tourists. A man laughs. He looks nothing like John. But his laugh…

For just a second, Sherlock thought… 

Hoped…

What he wouldn’t give for once glance. Just a tiny glance. Just a second, to know John is all right. 

He closes his eyes and imagines. What it would be like, if this man over there, who looks nothing like John but has his laugh, was actually John. And he knows, he knows, it’s actually better that it’s not John, because Sherlock wouldn’t be satisfied with one glance. 

What if this was truly John? Would he wait in the shadows, watching? Would he follow John home through the dark alleys and cobbled streets of this lovely city? Would he finally step out of the shadows, just as John is ready to go into his hotel? 

Would he grab John’s wrist, pull him into a shadowy courtyard? Would John try to yell, just to recognise Sherlock as Sherlock puts his hand over his mouth to stifle the scream? Would John look at him in shock, wide-eyed with wonder? 

Would Sherlock then replace the hand with his mouth, press their lips together, taste John’s fiery anger, his sweet relief, his voice, whispering, “Sherlock…”?

Would John take Sherlock back to his room? Would they not talk all night, just for the dawn to come and for Sherlock to leave with one last, lingering kiss to remind them both that this wasn’t a fever dream, but real, and precious? Would he promise to come back, would John promise to wait?

Sherlock pounds his fist against the wall to remind himself where he is. Who he is. Why he can’t lose himself in a stupid, childish fantasy. 

He has a job to do. A job he needs to finish before he can indulge in even thinking about what a possible after would look like. A job that needs to be done so John can be safe. 

He doesn’t want you that way anyway… 

But maybe… maybe when I come back… 

Stop it. You have a job to do. You can’t afford the distraction.

Tomorrow, he will travel to Belgrade, where the Danube will greet him on the last leg of his journey. He’ll finish his job, and then, he can go home.

Then, maybe…

Tomorrow, he moves on.

Tonight, he listens to a stranger’s laugh that sounds so much like home, and he allows himself to dream. 

-----

Tags under the cut as always, please let me know if you want to be tagged or untagged.

@calaisreno @totallysilvergirl @jrow @peanitbear @jolieblack @meetinginsamarra @helloliriels @keirgreeneyes @lisbeth-kk @friday411 @givemesherbet-blog-blog @salmonsown @weeesi @thalialunacy @thegildedbee @dapetty

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

rain and mint tea and rambles

Hi maggots. It's me, thinking thoughts, again. I do that far too often.

Monsoon has begun, I do believe. The stupefying heat wave broke to let water crash onto the soil, out of which puffs the scent of petrichor. Ever so often the heat builds in the day, but yields to a thunderstorm come nightfall. Perhaps it'll only last a few weeks, but I'm so glad anyway.

I made a mug of mint tea. By which I mean I dropped a teabag into hot water, in one of the five mugs Lina bought me. I was so delighted last night when the heat slowly revealed the images of a whale emoji, a photo of me edited with Crowley's eyes, and fanart of me that said happy birthday, maggot prince with the Spotify code of a playlist you all added songs to. It's been days since my birthday, but I still keep finding bits of love that you sent my way.

I love the playlist. It's as chaotic as we are. There's Cavetown and ABBA and Queen, Bollywood dance music and sad songs and rap, Taylor Swift and a Rickroll and silly songs and Disney soundtracks.

Everything looks different in the rain. The leaves lose their dusty shroud, glittering emerald and lime and quivering in the damp breeze. The light is quieter, softer, grey. It smells of life. The sky swirls with clouds like Van Gogh tried to make art but ran out of paint, with only the greyish paintwater left.

I'm sorry about all the DMs and asks I haven't replied to yet. I swear it's not because I care. It's because I care too much, I care so much that sometimes it overwhelms me. Please don't stop sending me asks because of that, though. I promise I do read them, even if it takes a while for me to reply. You aren't bothering me. You could never. I love you too much. Be as crazy as you like. It's me.

Weirdly enough, as I wrote that paragraph, Nothing New by Phoebe Bridgers and Taylor Swift played. "Are we only biding time 'til I lose your attention? And someone else lights up the room? People love an ingenue." "How do I go from growing up to breaking down? And I wake up in the middle of the night, it's like I can feel time moving. How can a person know everything at 18, and nothing at 22? Will you still want me, when I'm nothing new?"

It's difficult to believe I'm 20 now. That shouldn't be allowed. It's such a weird age, isn't it, 20? It's so, so young, it's so new, it's so terrifyingly timid.

I swear I knew more at 14 than I do now. I swear so many of you know so much more than I do. I don't know anything at all, most days. I don't know who I am. But you do. Thank you for bringing out not the best of me, not the worst of me, but the realest of me.

I love you. I got into art school, by the way. Life is not going the way I expected it to. And the horrors persist, trapping me in my dreams, suffocating me the way a pillow never could. But then I wake up and I think about you, and that keeps me going.

Look at you, saving a guy, every single day. How insanely wonderful.

The rain has stilled. My brother will be pleased, he bought a ticket to go to a cricket match. I think I'll go for a drive with my mum and Roxie. She loves drives. She knows them as 'car byebyes'. She sits on my lap in the front seat and looks out the window, nose sniffing and getting excited whenever I say look, a bow-wow and a dog passes.

I'll scoot now. If this long letter landed up on your dash and messed it up, I really do apologise, I try not to tag these. If you read it this far, then wow, hi. I love you. If you skipped to the end, I love you. If you don't read this, I love you. I love you all, so much.

I hope you have the loveliest of days.

I'll see you soon, maggots of mine.

[orion-tyche]

Crash

Summary: Omega’s just finished up a mission for the Rebellion. But her ship’s been hit hard, and all systems are failing. As she falls out of Hyperspace, she finds a small bit of comfort in Tech’s goggles, as if he’s there with her.

Word Count: 1203

Notes: Another request from @mantellmix ! I love writing sad stuff. Short one-shot, enjoy!

Tag List: @mantellmix @a-cryptid-called-magetha

Things weren’t going well. They had been, for a while, but not anymore. Omega had just finished another mission for the Rebellion. She was supposed to take out an Imperial factory and get all the workers out. She did that. And may have accidentally taken down a nearby Star Destroyer. But it was fine. Or it was supposed to be. The workers were heading back to their families on the planet, the Empire was down a factory and a Star Destroyer, and Omega’s hyperdrive was in critical failure.

She watched as the blue streaks around her turned orange and pink, as she was thrown out of Hyperspace. Her console was beeping and flashing and sparking, only making the job more stressful. Gonky was in the back of the ship, shut down and being unhelpful. Even some reassurance would be nice. But she was alone.

Omega tried to take control of the ship’s trajectory, flipping on the emergency stabilizers and trying to steer. But it was no use. The ship was crashing down towards a nearby moon, out of control and buying Omega a one-way ticket to a very gruesome death. No, she couldn’t think like that. Yet.

Omega gave up on trying to control the steering and began running around the ship, fixing whatever she saw was sparking. But every time she fixed something, five more systems broke. She looked out the window and saw the ship was entering the atmosphere. She ran to the console and hit her distress signal. She looked up to the window again, seeing the orange and red flames begin appearing around her ship from such a sharp entry. She saw Tech’s goggles on the dashboard. She picked them up and held them tightly in her hands. Did he ever have to deal with a crash like this? He would at least have help. Omega was on her own. With only the reminders of her brothers sitting around.

Would they be proud? How would they even find out? Who would find her? If it was an Imperial, they’d never know. Another rebel? Maybe. She hadn’t told anyone where she was from yet, or who her family was. She hadn’t gotten to know anyone that well yet. Would they know who she was? Would they find her family and tell them?

Omega held Tech’s goggles closer as the ship kept falling. She could nearly see the planet’s surface now. Omega took Tech’s goggles and moved them over her ponytail and onto her neck. She sat down in the pilot’s chair and looked out at the scene before her. The noise of the warning sensors and sparks of the consoles were nothing now. Omega just stared aimlessly. She felt tears welling up as she placed a hand on the goggles. She felt the broken glass between her fingertips as she sighed. She laughed a bit in disbelief and felt the first tear roll down her face.

“I think this is it, Tech.” She spoke to the air. “See you soon.”

Omega closed her eyes and braced for impact. She’d been here before, hadn’t she? On Bora Vio, and her daring escape from Cad Bane. In that tiny flight pod, hands cuffed together. She’d just pushed that tiny droid off her. What was his name? Toto? Todo? It was so many years ago, but it wasn’t an experience easily forgotten. Omega remembered how loyal he was to Bane. But it clearly didn’t go both ways. She felt a little sorry for him. I guess you feel sorry about everything at the end.

She had felt so scared in that pod. She was just a kid. She was scared now. She was no longer a kid. She kept waiting and waiting for everything to stop. She’d thought about death a lot, to be honest. Back when she’d first left Kamino, it was a constant thing. It stopped for a while when Hemlock died, and they got to live on Pabu, but since joining the Rebellion it was back. That excitement. That risk. She’d underestimated it, and now she was paying the price. But she had Tech with her. She had her brother.

Omega kept waiting. But everything was the same. She was still sitting in the pilot seat, still holding Tech’s goggles around her neck, still alive. She finally opened her eyes to see she was being pulled out of the planet’s atmosphere. She looked around in confusion. A button on her console was blinking, one that signaled someone was trying to comm her. She pressed it, hoped it wouldn’t break, and waited. A few moments of silence passed as Omega saw the fiery horizon turn back to the darkness of space, and then a familiar voice came through the comm.

“Got yourself into some trouble, kid?”

Hunter’s voice was the last thing Omega expected to hear, but it was welcome. It was so welcome.

“Hunter?!” Omega exclaimed, her worry gone in a flash. They had come for her. She was safe.

The boarding hatch opened on Omega’s ship as she ran into her brother’s arms. Hunter smiled softly, holding her close. Omega heard a familiar, gravelly laugh coming from the bench on Phee’s ship (which they had arrived on).

“How touching.” Crosshair said, flicking a toothpick onto the floor. Omega ran over and hugged him as well, overjoyed to see her family again. “Only a month into the Rebellion, and we’re already coming to get you.” He snickered, hugging her back. Omega scoffed and pulled away, crossing her arms with a smirk on her face.

“Hardly needed it. Besides, you’re getting too old for this anyways.”

“We’re never too old!” Boomed Wrecker’s voice. Omega went over and hugged him as well. He laughed and held her close. Crosshair smirked, she really hadn’t changed.

“And you’re still a terrible liar.” He said, folding his arms. Hunter was going to make a snarky remark about the state of her ship, but then noticed something else. Something around her neck.

“Are those…Tech’s goggles?” He asked, something in his voice breaking. He hadn’t seen the old, shattered goggles in so long. And Omega was wearing them. Omega stepped away from Wrecker and took the goggles off, examining them in her hands.

“They…are. And you’re right. I did need your help. I got into a…bad situation. In over my head a bit. Ship was failing. Spirit was failing. I…I thought I was going to die. It brought me some comfort, at the very least.” Omega said, smiling fondly at the goggles. “It’s like he’s there with me.” The ship was silent. A silence of remembrance. They never properly talked about losing Tech when it happened. Not like they got the chance. There were conversations over the years, but Omega couldn’t remember a time where they all sat down and actually talked about him, purposefully.

“…he’s always with us. Just like how we’re always with you.” Hunter finally said, smiling warmly at Omega. “We’ll always be there. Burning ship or not. We’re a call away.” He put a hand on her shoulder as she wiped away a tear. “You’re our kid, Omega, like I’ve told you a thousand times. Now come on, let’s fix up your ship.”

[a-mess-of-a-crow]

Half way done!

Now Dee's part

Edit: i just realized that i drew frisk without teeth.

But it doesn't nessesarily look too wrong so I'm keeping it

[raphaerolo]

Art Wip Game

@artisticallyill you asked about the Battle Cody & Obi so here it is

This one is definitely a bad name. While technically accurate, it's not the defining thing about this. Battle Cody & Obi is the name of my drawing that is my Codywan FMAB AU. Truly the title says nothing, and idk what i was thinking when i named the drawing but it's my fmab au

Here's it is so far:

In this au, the jedi are the state alchemists, Obi-Wan is a general and a state alchemist and a highly revered one but I don't know what his alchemy specialization is yet. Cody is his right hand who watches his back and has several big guns and people are scared of him.

I imagine this drawing to be them fighting Maul, who would absolutely just set a bunch of things on fire, not even with alchemy but with straight up matches cuz he's petty like that and Cody and Obi-Wan are trapped by the fire and waiting to see where he strikes next.

When I was ideating this, I realized that their dynamic is already pretty similar to Mustang and Hawkeye, especially with the "we can't date cuz you're my superior officer/subordinate" and the "i will flirt with others as a tactical move but it's fake and the real adoration only comes out with you"

Find wip game post here

[random-human-being2311]

there is just something so beautiful about songs about the joy you get from such mundane things.

like singing about how the weather's sunny or the weather's rainy but in a way so heartfelt and uplifting the song stays with you, close to your heart for years to come even if you don't know its name

like singing about how much you love your best friends. not because they recently did something that particularly amazes you but just appreciating them being there for you and just generally genuinely making you happy

the most mundane everyday things can become the most meaningful and heartfelt and it's probably just because I'm aroace but I feel that they're so much more genuine than songs about how happy you are because you and your romantic partner got back together or something

i remember seeing a youtube comment a short while back that was along the lines of "I know that usually it's only love songs that are meaningful but this song is the exception" and just thinking dear god how sad must this person's life be if they can't find beauty in anything other than something to do with love. Have you never just stared at a bird perched in a tree singing? Never seen a painting so full of colours that compliment each other in such a way that they each make the others look brighter but it never becomes a clashing over-the-top mess but a harmony of rainbows? Never just eaten a really good meal?

I would trade a thousand shallow, boring, generic songs about romance or heartbreak in exchange for one song about the beauty in the mundane things we take for granted.

[theflyingfeeling]

💖 it's here, it's pink, it's sparkly, and full of fluff 💖

Hiiiiii and welcome to witness my attempt at an Olli/Allu Advent Calendar, in which I'll give you ~a cute little something~ about these two idiots in love almost every day until December 24! My plan is to use prompts from this list to either write a fic based on the prompt or just some good ol' delulu thoughts if all else fails. I cannot guarantee there'll be a post literally every day, but I'm really excited to try this out and I thank you for your support along the way in advance 💝

The biggest thanks and a million hugs go to one of my favourite human beings @kraeuterhexchen for making the adorable banner!! I mean helloooooo?? 😭 Go show them some love ❣️

For December 1, the prompt list is titled One True Pairing Moments, and the prompt I chose was 'calling just to hear their voice' 🥺 You can read the fic below, I hope you like it <3

.

PS. Even though this is an advent calendar of sorts, I'm not planning on making this particularly Christmassy. I hope no one minds terribly!

~

Falling for Aleksi had, in a way, sneaked up on Olli, at least if he fooled himself a little. He could pretend he didn’t feel any different about the man than he did about, say, Joonas or Tommi, but that strategy only worked for so long – that is to say, approximately until Aleksi as much as smiled softly at him from across a room or bumped his shoulder into his jovially when walking down the street and Olli would feel his breath getting caught in his throat or stumble in his words, his tongue tangled like shoelaces, which was so unlike him as well and frustrated him to no end. It really took a special kind of fool to not only develop some level of feelings for a friend, a colleague, a bandmate for Christ’s sake, but also become so hopelessly enamored with him that you rolled awake in bed in the dead of night, grabbing your phone and tossing it back on the nightstand again and again because you couldn’t decide whether or not you should, on some erratic 2 o’clock impulse, call him to let him know he was the very reason for your insomnia. 

Turning on his back, Olli groaned (only a little desperately) as he remembered losing himself in the lingering hug they had shared just before the arrivals lobby at the airport, inhaling Aleksi’s scent and wishing they wouldn’t have to go home just yet, even if Olli was more than ready to finally sleep in his own bed again. Ironically, ever since they had returned home from tour, Olli had spent night after sleepless night missing Aleksi terribly: his stupid jokes and playful banter that bordered on being flirtatious if Olli allowed himself the benefit of delusion; his quick, subtle smiles that probably meant nothing; his little touches Olli hoped meant something; his smell and his touch and the softness of his hair at the back of his neck, compared to which the blanket Olli was grasping in his fist was like sandpaper. (How he had come to know of the qualities of Aleksi’s hair in such detail, he preferred not to dwell on too much to save himself from the heartache, so let’s just leave it at ‘stressful, emotional week far away from home’ and ‘a little too much to drink’).

Above all, Olli missed Aleksi’s voice. He hadn’t even thought that was possible, until the other morning when Olli had woken up to a voice message Aleksi had left just hours earlier, rambling about a song idea he had gotten in the middle of the night – something he did from time to time – and Olli had spent the next several minutes replaying it over and over again as he had lied in bed procrastinating getting up and and instead closing his eyes to better imagine Aleksi lying there beside him, turned on his side to face Olli, talking to him sleepily like they often did when they shared a room on tour and were just too lazy to join others at breakfast. Much like the hug at the airport, Olli wished those moments would have lasted way longer than they did, often ending abruptly when either of their phones would go off with Santeri’s name on the screen, a passive-aggressive interruption to the soft, low tone of Aleksi’s early-morning thoughts. (Sometimes, when Olli was lucky enough, he had been blessed with the bliss of feeling the light touch of a fingertip tracing along his collarbone, cut short just as frustratingly by their well-meaning tour manager politely enquiring whether the two of them had plans of dragging themselves downstairs for some toast and coffee, or if they’d rather starve until lunchtime, for which he wasn’t at all sure they’d even have time that day.)

The lovesick idiot that he was, his thumb hovered over the ‘play’ button of Aleksi’s voice message, probably for the millionth time that week. The chest-carving hesitation turned into a heart flip when he noticed Aleksi was online.

Then Aleksi began to type, and Olli held his breath the entire time until a new message appeared in the thread, anticipation holding him by his throat.

You awake?

Olli exhaled and typed his affirmative reply, leaving out the reason why.

He blinked at the screen, waiting for Aleksi to ask him a random question that clearly couldn’t wait until morning, or perhaps talk about something related to another late-night Twitch stream (from what Olli had gathered, Aleksi had been doing a lot of those recently, and with his last remaining braincell Olli had managed to resist the temptation to watch every single one of them, because he knew that if he did, it would only dig his grave of pining and longing deeper, seeing Aleksi smile and giggle about but not being able to do that with him or snuggle up next to him when he was wearing that flannel Olli often used as a blanket in the tour bus). But instead of another text appearing on the screen, Olli’s phone began to vibrate in his hand, and it took him an embarrassingly long while to understand it was because Aleksi was calling him. 

“Hi,” he sighed when he finally collected himself enough to speak. He prayed he’d be able to hear what Aleksi was going to say from the thumping heartbeat echoing in his ears.

“Hi,” a soft voice said. “Sorry, I know it’s late…”

“No, not at all,” Olli hurried to say, “I mean, I wasn’t sleeping. Not even close, actually.” Part of him hoped Aleksi wouldn’t ask about it, but in some foolhardy way the possibility intrigued him. 

Nothing much, he would have likely said anyway, but what would happen if he told Aleksi how it really was? That he squeezed his pillow imagining it was him instead, or wailed into it because something had reminded him of a moment-that-was-probably-not-a-Moment™ they had shared? What would Aleksi say if he knew Olli sometimes touched himself the way Aleksi had touched him That One Night they never talked about? The only obstacle between Olli and that knowledge was a bottomless ocean of cold sweat and cowardice, and Olli had never been a great swimmer.

“So, ummm…,” Olli said when Aleksi’s end stayed silent. “What’s up?”

A short breath of laughter sounded through the phone line.

“Honestly? I don’t know, I… It’s just been a… weird week, I guess.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, like… my head’s just been so full of… everything and… I’ve been so busy and kinda tense and… fuck, this is going to sound crazy,” Aleksi laughed that brief laugh again, although to Olli it didn’t sound particularly cheerful. Tired, more like. Strained, somehow. Not sad, but definitely a little troubled, and Olli intended to find out why.

“I’m all for crazy, you know.” Olli hoped his sorry attempt to lighten Aleksi’s mood would work, and so he smiled in relief when he heard Aleksi chuckle at his comment.

“I know,” Aleksi said softly, in that tone of voice that had Olli melt against his bedsheets. “So yeah, it’s been a rough week, but… in between all that stupid shit, I’ve been thinking a lot about… umm… well, the tour and– and… about you, for some reason,” (the troubled laugh made its return) “and… yeah. That’s sort of helped me a lot recently.”

Olli listened to the words carefully, not fully believing what he was hearing, yet clinging on to them until they were all but swirling around in his otherwise empty head like dry leaves in October wind.

“And tonight I just couldn’t fucking sleep for some reason and nothing I did seemed to help and so I thought I’d call you. And I’m–” If it hadn’t been dead silent otherwise, Olli wouldn’t have heard the shaky breath Aleksi paused to take, “I’m sorry I’m calling you at this hour and bothering you with this all but I guess I just… wanted to hear your voice. To see if that would help.”

“Does it?” Olli asked. Aleksi’s confession had made him clasp his blanket close to his chest, as if that would do anything about his rapidly beating heart.

“Yeah. It does. So maybe just… keep talking?”

Despite his mind living a life of its own, completely unfit to form a single coherent thought, for Aleksi’s sake Olli tried his best to think of something to say, but everything he came up with was something he was not ready to tell him quite yet. 

“Uuummmm…” he said to buy himself some time, but while he waited for his useless brain and mouth to form any actual words, Aleksi spoke again.

“Fuck, I’m– I’m sorry, this is too weird, I shouldn’t have– I’ll let you go back to–”

“I miss you,” Olli blurted before Aleksi would hang up on him. He squeezed his eyes shut when Aleksi went silent, too silent for too long for it to mean any good.

The line stayed open, however, which Olli took as a positive sign, even if the seconds during which all Olli could hear was Aleksi's quiet breathing seemed endless.

“And I you,” Aleksi finally replied. “A little too much, probably, or at least that’s what it feels like,” he chuckled. Olli almost missed the quiet sniff that followed.

He had to steel himself for his next question.

“What do you mean?”

“Just… forget it.” Aleksi said quietly. Contrary to Aleksi’s request, Olli knew he was going to all but ‘forget it’ for the next 3-5 business days; mentally he booked all his evenings as well as most of his mornings and noons for pondering what exactly had been in Aleksi’s mind in that moment or why he had sounded so sombre, almost disappointed. He’d probably never come to any satisfactory conclusion about it though, at least not without a little help from Aleksi himself. 

A ridiculous idea popped into his head, and before he could stop himself, the words flooded out of his mouth.

“Do you wanna come over some time? To hang out? When your schedule’s a little less tight, I mean.” He sucked on his lips and closed his eyes as he waited for Aleksi’s answer, ready to hang up the moment he’d decline the offer on some obvious and logical reason for why Aleksi couldn’t possibly make nor want to take a trip to the north to see him, such as ‘didn’t we just spend over two months on the road together?’ or ‘damn, buddy, I miss you alright but not quite that much, I’ve done enough sitting in public transportation for one year, thank you very much lol’ or ‘what about Rilla?’

“You could take Rilla with you, you know.” Olli hurried to say, just in case, the deranged part of his brain thinking there might be a chance Aleksi might be at least considering it.

“Oh! Well, umm… I actually might have time next week? If– if you’re actually being serious about this.”

Funny you should ask, Aleksi; I’ve actually never been more serious about anything in my entire life than I am about having you here with me so that I can hold you and be held by you and see your face when I wake up in the morning and say goodnight to your annoyingly cute face instead of via text message and maybe, if the stars are in position and the northern wind won’t discourage me too much, I might actually be brave enough to torment you with the knowledge of just how miserable I’ve been since we last saw each other.

“I think it would be cool,” he said, because he had a feeling what he wanted to say would’ve been a tad too much and sudden. “I mean, if you’re up for it, of course. I understand if you can’t make it though, I know you have all those side projects.”

“No, I think it might actually do me some good to get out of the capital area for change.” Then there was a muffled ‘ouch’, followed by a laugh that sounded much brighter than any of the other ones Olli had heard from Aleksi that night. “Sorry, correction, it might do us some good. Rilla just told me she’s most definitely coming too. Rilla, stop nibbling on my toes!”

Olli smiled tiredly at the mental image that was painted in his mind of Aleksi and Rilla cuddling in bed, both minding their own business from what it seemed while still minding each other as well, very much indeed.

“I’ll be sure to set up a bed for her in the guest room.”

“The guest room? Do you not know her at all? If she’s not getting the master bedroom, she’ll ruin all your rugs and most of your shoes. Probably also gossip about you to all the neighbourhood dogs. And she’s brutal.”

Olli held his stomach as he laughed, tears almost forming in the corners of his eyes. In his defence, it was late and he was finally becoming tired, thus too far gone to help himself, let alone feel embarrassed about being in stitches about something Aleksi had said that was only mildly amusing. (It wasn’t the first time that had happened either, and likely not the last time.)

“So yeah, ummm, I can take a look at some flight options for next week and let you know, alright? I’m gonna let you sleep now and… I should get some myself too.”

Olli wanted to tell Aleksi he’d love to stay up chatting until dawn, but the yawn he let out when he opened his mouth to speak implied Aleksi had a point.

“Yeah, let me know. And… thanks for calling, I… you have no idea how much I needed this tonight.”

That was as close to a confession as Olli was able to get as of now.

“Probably not half as much as I did.”

Olli chuckled at Aleksi’s response, mostly to hide his own agony.

If only you knew. If only I knew how to tell you.

It didn’t take long for Olli to doze off after they hung up, and when he woke up to the kids from next door having a snowball fight under his window in the morning, he noticed new messages from Aleksi, sent half an hour after their phone call had ended, complete with screen captions of airplane schedules.

Would these days work for you? I might be free all week actually 😇

Olli cuddled into his pillow while typing his reply, hoping it wouldn’t wake up Aleksi.

yeah I’m free as well. I’ll pick you two up from the airport 🖤

From then on, Olli started counting the days until he’d see Aleksi again.

[cookinguptales]

if you want to know where I am on my "dealing with wwdits s5" journey, I've got like six long meta posts in my notes on my laptop that I just haven't posted. lmao

I'm. workin through it.

[screamingfrenchfries]

theres a special place in hell for all the people who've made decisions to cancel shows prematurely.......... fuck yall

[acesammy]

Honestly growing up is realizing that normal people don’t have to set timers to remember they’re cooking ramen… which notoriously only takes 3 minutes to cook… and maybe I do have adhd