#YES i have a one track mind LISTEN. it is my Favorite and it deserves Better

[merry-the-cookie]

also i can finally look at tumblr lol i didnt wanna get spoiled on the show and setlist and ykno what im super glad i wasnt

excited and also ScaredTM to see soundcheck this weekend

[81folklore]

older - CL16

pairings: charles leclerc x male!singer!reader (fc: luke hemmings)

summary: singer yn ln releases a love song with his boyfriend, and the public are not prepared for who it is about

authors note: this has been on my mind for SO LONG. i honestly dont like how many fics ive been doing on the same people (charles, lando etc) but whenever i go to start a new one on my list for someone else i think of something that i have to do😭 also in this reader is not a part of 5sos but close friends with the 3, wfttwtaf is readers album and older is exclusivly the readers song

authors note 2: i wanted to quickly clarify i am NOT speculating that charles or luke are gay/queer and this is not my intentions. luke obviously sings older and i find it easier to visualise it this way, while the reader in this is male, this could also be read as gn!reader. this is FICTION please do not tkae this as me speculating anything

authors note 3: i didnt really know what i was doing with this so its kind of all over the place and very rushed :/ but then again when arent my smau all over the place?? also can you tell i hate writing comments by the way i just dont😭

masterlist

yourusername

liked by pierregasly, ashtonirwin and 818,937 others

we started this song together back in 2020 and picked it back up at the end of 2022

'Older' was originally a voice memo of a 50’s-style love song that we wrote together, then forgot about. when thinking of concepts for my debut album i stumbled across the memo and fell in love with it all over again, but i put it aside yet again as to me, it deserved more than the album

the song has changed a lot from the original voice memo, but the meaning has stayed the same throughout. despite all the beauty, the ups and downs of a long-term relationship over many years, there’s inevitably going to be the worst moment of your love because one of you is going to lose each other

capturing those feelings in a song was tricky but ultimately we wrote from the heart and i think it shows in the song itself

this has always been a song between us, so having him play on this song was very importnt to me and im glad he said yes

older is now yours

comments on this post have been limited

yourusername

liked by landonorris, calumhood and 1,727,338 others

im very pleased to announce a very special one off show at the Royal Albert Hall in London this November 18th. I will be playing a bunch of tracks from my debut album and may be joined to play some others aswell! Tickets on sale this monday at 10 am BST. Lots of love always, yn x

comments on this post have been limited

yourusername

liked by 5sos, charles_leclerc and 2,719,936 others

thank you for an incredible night at the royal albert hall

looking back at the best night of my life, i need to thank each and every one of you who allowed this dream to come true, i will never be able to thank you guys enough

performing in my dream venue, with my favorite people in the world was something i never thought was possible and yet here i am, writing this still on my high from last night

thank you to my friends; michael, ashton and calum who took the time to come to london and perform their songs with me, thank you for always loving me and agreeing to my crazy ideas

to my team and everyone who worked to make this night as special as it could be, thank you. thank you for making my htoughts a reality and making this night as wonderful as possible

thank you to the staff who worked throughout the show to make sure everyone was safe, well and looked after. you truly do not get as much credit as you deserve and i apreciate the hard work you put in to keep everyone happy

thank you to those who joined me, i wish each and every one of you who wanted to could have been there. thank you for singing along and listening to me pour my heart and soul into my music

thank you for letting me do this x

view comments

user55: not the pcd hitting already☹️

user1: and im supposed to pretend i didnt see yn and 5sos perform os/co??

user89: CHARLES?? YN IS DATING CHARLES??

user91: AND HE CAME ON STAGE?? AND THEY PERFORMED OLDER??

user50: i cant believe i saw this all happen live

user47: THANK YOU TO WHOEVER WAS RUNING THE GRAINY LIVESTREAM I OWE YOU MY LIFE🧎🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️

ashtonirwin: thank you for everything yn. youre a real life angel

user16: NO CHARLES MENTION??

user9: BESTIE HE HAS A WHOLE POST

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly, michaelclifford and 3,619,273 others

after having time to process this show, I feel so overcome with gratefulness. my music means so much to me and seeing so many people resonate with it in a live space was so special for me.

charlie, my life would literally fall apart without you and this would have never happened without you giving me the confidence to do so, i hold so much love and admiration for you

thank you for joining me on such a special night and performing our song with me, thank you for sticking with me through it all and thank you for allowing me to share this part of my life with you

i sometimes wonder where i would be if i didnt find you, if i wasnt blessed with your love. i try to think about the times before you, before us, but both feel impossible to do after feeling your love

life with you is so special and i promise to always cherish and love you

merci de m'avoir laissé vieillir avec toi, merci de m'avoir laissé t'adorer, merci de m'avoir choisi (thank you for letting me get old with you, thank you for letting me adore you, thank you for choosing me)

yn x

tagged: charles_leclerc

comments on this post have been limited

charles_leclerc: mon ange, je t'aimerai toujours (my angel, I will always love you)

charles_leclerc: je suis tellement privilégiée d'être celle que tu aimes🤍🤍 (I'm so privileged to be the one you love)

yourusername: vieillir avec toi ne semble pas si effrayant🖤🖤 (growing old with you doesn't seem so scary)

[gx-gameon]

As I get back into Yugioh while also watching one piece an idea won’t leave my mind.

What if after Bond Beyond Time, Yusei goes to take Jaden back to his time. They leave Yugi and head to drop Jaden off. But the Crimson Dragon doesn’t stop at Jaden’s time. Instead taking both of them to Yusei’s time.

Yusei feels awful. He was suppose to bring Jaden back to his time, but he messed up. He has no idea how the Crimson Dragon brought him back and forward in time other than it did. It called to him and he listened. He can’t do it on command. It’s not his fault but he feels like it is.

Jaden is a little freaked out. But weirder things have happened to him. So he reassures Yusei that it’s alright. Maybe he was brought here for a reason. Maybe once that reason is done he will be able to go home. He’ll figure it out.

And Yusei stops his over thinking dead in its tracks because, “what do you mean you’ll figure it out? We’re in this together. You’re not alone.” And Jaden, who is so deeply traumatized by the dark world and is still pushing everyone away, is a little overwhelmed.

His friends always leave it up to him to solve the problems. Jesse always helped, as did Jim and Axel, but for the most part Jaden is left to solve everything. Yusei barely knows him and is already offering so much. A place to stay, help getting home, it’s more than Jaden feels he deserves.

Especially when they meet up with the other Signers. Once Yusei introduces them all and explains what happened, they are all instantly on board with helping Jaden find away home. And it’s been a while since Jaden’s been surrounded with this much support.

So he stays with them for a while. After all he is there for a reason….

But he bonds with the Signers.

He helps Akiza with her powers. She already has a strong grasp on how to use them but being around Jaden makes her more comfortable using them. She’s always felt like a monster and being around the other Signers has helped a lot, but being around Jaden, who has such a good grasp on his powers that he can actually teach her things while also making her feel normal is awesome. The two become very close with Jaden taking on an older brother role for her. (At first he was ready for this to be like Cyrus and Hassleberry, but there isn’t the same level of hero worship. Yes Akiza looks up to him but she treats him as an equal. She really values her friends and being seen as normal so she doesn’t treat him like a savior and it’s really nice for Jaden. For both of them)

Luna and Jaden also have a close relationship as he is the first person she’s met who can see spirits as well. Wing Kuriboh and Kuribon are constantly playing. He’s able to teach her how to reach the spirit world safely and be more comfortable with her powers. She not only Aliza’s level of mastery but she has raw power and she’s very lucky Jaden came along when he did to help her master them.

Leo is much the same but also so different. Jaden is really confused when everyone is telling him about being Signers. He understand the idea, he can see the power. But he’s confused why everyone is acting like Leo doesn’t have powers, he can see the kids aura and it’s got the same crimson tint that every other signer has. But Leo is also bursting at the seems with power, he just can’t access it. And he tells them that. Leo is pumped. He’s a Signer to! Are you sure? This is awesome! Jaden is very clear that Leo’s powers are blocked but unblocking them at all at once could hurt the kid so they will have to do it carefully and slowly, with Jaden helping him master his new powers before they unseal anymore. It’s a slow process and exhausting for both. But Leo is pumped. Jaden is his third favorite person ever!! (1st being Luna, and 2nd going to Yusei)

Needless to say the twins adore him and look up to him as an older brother just like they do with the rest of the signers.

Crow and Jack respect him as a duelist and are glad he can help the others with their powers. Crow brings out Jaden’s goofier side as the two joke around. Jack reminds him so much of Zane and Chazz and yet at the same time he’s so different.

Jaden really admires Yusei, Jack, and Crow’s strong bond and brotherhood.

Jaden and Jack to but heads because of Carly. Jaden meets Carly and instantly recognizes her power and talent and tries to help her. At first she hesitates because she doesn’t like her powers. Plus this is Jack’s friend and Jack has been avoiding her and she just doesn’t know why. But slowly she starts coming around. Her and Jaden get along well and she starts helping out team 5D’s with the WRPG.

Jack though thinks that if Carly is around him she might remember her time as a Dark Signer and he doesn’t want that. He doesn’t want her to hurt. He also doesn’t want her in danger and the WRPG has become dangerous. He snaps at Jaden over it, as it’s easier to blame Jaden than talk to Carly about all this. Jaden doesn’t know about Carly being a Dark Signer and the two argue. He thinks Carly is a great addition to their team, and she deserves to learn how to control her powers, Jack just wants her safe.

Eventually Jack and Carly talk and he gets his head out of his butt. He and Jaden talk it out later.

Yusei and Jaden become best friends (you could see it as Starshipping if you want but I’ll probably keep it platonic) Yusei is a calm stable presence that Jaden has needed for a while. He’s a pillar of strength when everything seems to be going crazy. On the reverse Jaden is a sources of strength of Yusei. He’s so out of his depths with all the magic stuff that comes easy to Jaden. It’s nice to have an expert with them. All Yusei wants is to keep his friends safe, but he never has to worry about Jaden, he does anyway, but Jaden always comes through, he’s become a pillar for Yusei as well. Someone to lean on.

I’d probably change the villains of WRPG or maybe this takes place before the WRPG. Because I want Sayer/Divine and the Arcadia Movement to be the main problem. (I read that they were suppose to be the main villains of Yugioh 5D season 2 but because of Carly’s voice actors involvement with a real life cult the story line was scrapped and Carly’s role was reduced. I want to work with the cult so I’m working with the cult)

But anyway. Jaden is starting to feel at home here. He still needs to go back, rainbow dragon is burning in his deck box. He needs to return to his time, needs to return Jesse’s family to him (my spiritshipping heart) but he also loves his new friends.

And this is where one piece comes in because it’s time for Water 7/Enies Lobby.

Jaden is taking the twins out one day. Maybe they got out of school and they are waiting for the rest of the crew to show up. But the twins run an head and as Jaden goes to catch up, someone bumps into him and whispers in his ear. “Welcome Supreme King.”

Jaden freezes.

How could anyone here in this world, in this time, know that name. He turns on his heel and sees the stranger waiting for him. They have a cloak hood pulled over their head so he can’t see who this is. But they beckon him to follow, he’s not going to until they make a threatening gesture towards the twins, who’s excited voices are getting farther and farther from Jaden.

So Jaden follows. If they are going to have it out he doesn’t want the twins in the cross fire. But they’re not fighting. In fact Jaden is ambushed by Sayer/Divine who tells Jaden they know exactly who he is. That he’s going to help them with creating an army of Physic Duelist and help them attach the City. Jaden laughs and is ready to fight, until they threat his new friends. After all “you already murdered one friend group. Do you really want to be responsible for the death of another?”

The reminder of his friend’s deaths in the Dark World rattles Jaden. Enough that he’s willing to make a deal. He’ll help Sayer/Divine. As long as Team 5Ds is untouchable. Sayer/Divine can’t go after them.

It’s a deal.

So Jaden ‘Betrays’ Team 5Ds there are hurt feelings all around. “How could this happen? Why would Jaden betray them? It doesn’t make any sense.

So they start digging, and find out that Sayer/Divine is going to use Jaden’s power as a batter for his Physic duelist when they attack the city. But that still doesn’t explain why Jaden betrayed them.

Maybe Misty shows up and reveals Sayer/Divines plot

Maybe Carly figures it out. Maybe Sayer attacks her because ‘she’s not technically a member of 5Ds and Jaden protected her. She is present for their little back in forth argument. Because Jaden says she’s untouchable because of their deal and Sayer/Divine want to kill Carly because she knows to much now. But he has to fold because he want to keep Jaden under his thumb, so the solution was kidnap her but Jaden resist that to long enough for Jack to show up and get Carly out. (At this point he thinks Jaden is a traitor who is trying to hurt Carly so he attacks Jaden and Sayer/Divine.

Or maybe Jesse shows up in this time period. He went to the Spirit world looking for Jaden and Rainbow dragon and got dragged forward in time. He hears everything and explains Jaden’s history in the Dark world. While he wasn’t there to see it he got all the details from talking to the Gx crew and Jaden/Jaden’s spirits.

I think a combination of idea two and three are best. (I want Jesse to show up.)

Now that they know that Jaden has sacrificed himself to keep them safe, they won’t stop till he’s back safe with them. It’s a race to Jaden now. Can they get to him before Sayer/Divine’s plan is complete and he drains Jaden’s power/life.

Jaden deserves friends who would fight from him. Plus him get his own “I want to live.” Moment like Robin in Enies Lobby is very important to me.

Sorry if this sounds insane. It’s been bouncing around in my head for a week and needed out.

[prinnamon]

alright fuck it, top 5 freeman's mind quotes/bits since i accidentally started keeping track of my favorite moments by virtue of the fact that i was basically live texting a friend exact quotes while i watched

5

"Is that..? Oh my God, it's a rocket launcher. The perfect gift for the man who has everything. Ohh. You and I are gonna go places. My mind is spinning with new possibilities. You are the first good news I've had all day." (picking up rockets) "Yes, I'll bring your friends…." (helicopter whirring) "Hark! Dost thou hear with thine ears what I hear with mine?" (equipping rocket launcher) "Interloper!…Have at thee!"

4

"So, worst case scenario, we're only talking brain cancer. I can live with that."

3

"You know, everyone's always told me that I'm paranoid and I need to calm down. But guess what? I'm alive. And everyone who said that is dead. That's the ultimate proof that someone doesn't know what they're talking about. 'Follow my advice and you'll die just like me! Huh-heh!' I have the US military spray-painting my name on a wall, setting laser traps, and firing a fucking rocket launcher at me, and people have the gall to call me paranoid. Fuck them! Fuck everybody! Anyone who doesn't listen to me deserves the fate they get! I should kill everyone just on principle!…See, this is what I'm talking about. 'Aliens aren't invading, Freeman. You're just being paranoid.' 'The mailman's not spying on you, Freeman. You're just being paranoid.' What else!? 'There's no society of anthropomorphic frog people living in the sewer, Freeman. You're just being paranoid.' 'Owls can't read your thoughts, Freeman. You're just being paranoid.' Bet you wouldn't call me paranoid now if you were still alive."

2

"You know, when they invented the atomic bomb, they were afraid it was going to catch the atmosphere on fire and burn up the whole earth, but they did it anyway. That took balls. Not us, though. The only people taking the risks were the ones that didn't understand them in the first place. We're not brave. We're just stupid."

and finally:

1

I can fire at a target and hit it at least half the time Or graph out an electron path while using only numbers prime! I calculate the fall rate of a bullet shot a thousand yards And perforate the thick heads of a hundred military guards! I can make a simulation of an atom bomb and build one, too, Or flank a dozen men and ambush ten of them out of the blue! From SMGs to RPGs, I carry quite an arsenal… And skip around a warzone like a subatomic particle! Still no chorus! Okay, come on, sing and I won't kill you! ...Those of you that are left, I mean. Ah. Okay, there we go. Ahem. Every solider out here wants to kill me for my curiosity! I wage war on the whole damn world because of my tenacity! In matters combat tactical and physics theoretical, I am the very model of a modern Major-General! Alright, no one else is even trying to sing along. I quit.

my fuckin jaw dropped when he started singing and im pretty sure i clapped my hand over my mouth like a victorian woman when the new verses started. out of all pieces of media, i think freeman's mind was the one i least expected to have a musical episode. just for that it's the best one by far

[bohnsky]

I am not happy at all. No I am but also I'm not. I did not wake up at 6:30 in the morning on a sunday just to watch my favorites dnf and listen to Ralf Schumacher rant about my love Checo (at least he knows that Checo fans dislike him). Only the McLaren double podium makes this race okay (not really but I'm happy for them) and Ferrari didn't fuck up which is good.

So anyway here are my favorite drivers 4,5 months into liking f1:

Because he was in the paddock this weekend, I have to include Seb again. My one and only. I love him, he deserves the world, protect him at all cost. When he said it hurts to watch instead of driving himself because Suzuka is his favorite track. Emotional damage.

But he seemed so happy to be back in the paddock and to teach the grid about bees. He's so passionate, it's beautiful. And we got Sewis content.

1. Alex Albon

This (hopefully) won't change as long as I put Seb in a different category (the Seb category).

Just today I saw a comment saying that you simply can't hate Alex and that he is the least disliked driver and I love that. He deserves all the love.

My heart broke when he retired. I am not okay with how things turned out here. Everyone said they love Suzuka, why is it so mean to me?

2. Sergio Perez

I hate to admit that I almost put him on third this week because I wasn't as obsessed with him as I was during the last few weeks, but omg did I get mad when Ralf Schumacher started ranting about him, which made me rethink that decision. I love Checo my precious. This whole race was a disaster for him (and me) and yes some of it was his fault, I realize that, but I refuse to think about it. Just as I refuse to think about his seat. And I refuse to talk about it with anyone who doesn't agree with me. (I don't mind people who don't agree with me, I just don't want to hear it, not when it comes to Checo my love)

I just hope he is okay mentally and can enjoy the celebrations with the team.

Also I usually drink a red bull for every race but I didn't want one at 7 in the morning, so that race must have been the punishment for me not drinking my racely red bull.

3. Charles Leclerc

My man, again on 4th must suck. So close to the podium. But honestly I'm just happy that Ferrari didn't actively try to fuck up his race again.

4. Lewis Hamilton

Sewis content yay :D

Lewis always seems so happy when he's with Seb and that makes me happy. These two are my f1 comfort ship, they never fail to make me smile.

But also unecessary Merc bitch fight, I hope they are civil about it off track.

5. Lance Stroll

This time I had to put Lance here. I just adore him and it literally breaks my heart that he has such a bad season. To me he seems like he always stays true to himself even with all the bullshit he constantly gets and I love that for him. And even if I want more Lance content I love that he stays away from media as much as he does.

He was doing really well this race and I thought this could be a good one for once, for my little Lancy shaped heart, but no. Everything went wrong today just kill me already.

Honerable mentions:

Lando. I'm so happy about the McLaren double podium and that Lando has so many podiums lately. Also I've been watching a lot of Quadrant lately and I'm totally digging it.

Oscar. Obviously, I'm so happy for him. He is an amazing driver and a precious little baby. Go McLaren!

Valtteri. He's really gone through it today. I like him a lot, he might even be in the top 10 and I just want him to be happy. This race was not it. Also it took me ages to learn how to spell Valtteri. I always wrote Vallteri or Valterri. But now I know.

Max. Congrats my guy. I was thinking, I'm a little sad that I joined f1 during his peak. I wish I could've watched him grow and become the driver he is now. Also his fucking hair. Please I just want to touch it.

Hulknussen. I just want to talk about them because it seems like no one else does. To me they are peak enemies to friends (to lovers). But I don't like Haas the team. The drivers are great.

The Alpha Tauris. Listen, I am not okay with the whole seat situation in Alpha Tauri or even all of Red Bull. I love that Yuki and Danny get to drive next season, but what about Liam? He is literally outperforming Yuki. He should get a permanent seat. Why aren't they giving it to Liam? What are they planning? Please don't scare me and my Checo heart. Why can't everyone get a seat? Why did I get into a sport where there are only 20 fucking seats? Why does everyone have to be so lovable?

George. I was thinking about George getting Alex this his seat and I am thankful. That's why George is here on this list today.

The 2nd William seat. Is not a driver but it stresses me out. I don't think that Logan will get it again. I want Mick to get it. Please give me your opinions. Who will get the 2nd Williams seat next season?

[crystal-methionine]

It’s time for my annual post about Eurovision and then disappearing from here for another year. So behold my rankings for the 2023 edition:

1. Finland 🇫🇮 - Cha Cha Cha by Käärijä

Oh Finland. So close to winning but a deserved 🥈. I wholly think that this song was a bit more original and stands out compared to Tattoo, but we all knew once Loreen was chosen by Sweden the the queen of Eurovision would take the crown.

2. Spain 🇪🇸 - EAEA by Blanca Paloma

5 pts. BITCH SERIOUSLY???!!! This was a masterclass of vocal performance with a touch of tradition, modernity, and ethnic music. Blanca killed it and the performance was so encapturing. I did not look away once. And then Europe have her only 5 pts (last place). I’m usually anti-jury but they at least put her 9th (could have been higher but better than fuckin last)

3. Sweden 🇸🇪 - Tattoo by Loreen

Way deserved 🥇. I listen to this and belt in the car. It was my #1 a good bit constantly switching between it and Finland. I remember thinking in the semi, what the point of even having the contest was bc she already won after performing. I do hate pulling the it’s Loreen card, but honestly when has she ever done wrong?? Perfectly fine with her winning it all.

4. Armenia 🇦🇲 - Future Lover by Brunette

Underrated imo. Also the dance break. I had to pick my jaw up off the floor in the semi. Vocally flawless both times. Amazing staging to boot. I understand this wasn’t everybody’s cup of tea. However, I think merit should have been awarded more.

5. Iceland 🇮🇸 - Power by Diljá

As already shown with Spain, we can’t have all the nice things can we, Europe? Vocal perfection. Rich gritty vocals and delicate. Is the song the best song lyrically, no. But the amount of performance prowess Diljá performed and stayed on point vocally was literally mind blowing. I knew she wasn’t going to qualify, but I so wanted her to. She deserved it more over some other countries *cough Poland*. The good news was she didn’t seem to care much and had a good time from what I was seeing.

6. Serbia 🇷🇸 - Samo Mi Se Spava by Luke Black

Like Armenia, I fully understand this isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. This is one of my personal favorites that I may repeat once or twice if it comes on my playlist. The last minute of the song is my hype jam. The performance was good. I’ll agree to that there were better performers, but I have to rank the song this high given my replay count.

7. Israel 🇮🇱 - Unicorn by Noa Kirel

Is it my favorite, no. Do I hate the lyrics at times? Yes. It makes me think it’s supposed to be a track for a My Little Pony movie or something. Did the performance slap? Yes. She killed it, and I have to give props when they are due. Definitely ok with it in top 5.

8. Italy 🇮🇹 - Due Vite by Marco Mengoni

Is it a regular ye ole classic male ballad from Italy? Yes. Do I care? No. Did I love the performance? Yes? Would I break up with my partner and move to Italy and be with him? Absolutely (sorry babe, he’s so hot and if you had watched, you’d understand). Marco like in 2013 was vocally amazing and we had emotion. Idk what the trampoline people in the back were for, but tbh I didn’t pay them attention bc I was watching Marco.

9. Australia 🇦🇺 - Promise by Voyager

This song when it came out was my #1 until Cha Cha Cha and Tattoo came out. So happy they got a good result. They deserved it. Could have done better televote, but this year I agreed more with juries for the majority of the songs.

10. Slovenia 🇸🇮 - Carpe Diem by Joker Out

Oh you silly boys. You are the Miss Congeniality for sure. And on top of that, you should have been top 10. The performance was so fun and genuinely enjoyable. Vocally, they did well. I just fear that Slovenia always gets overlooked by everyone and that was why they stayed right side of the board this year.

11. Lithuania 🇱🇹 - Stay by Monika Linkyte

Lyrically felt and amazing voice. Glad she got her solo moment and just out of top 10. Loved the performance and she was so silly behind Finland all evening. Made me like her more.

12. Norway 🇳🇴 - Queen of Kings by Alessandra

Juries wtf? Why was this so low? She always did fairly well (maybe some whistle tones iffy). Glad she got a lot of televote points. Deserved top 10. I think for me it’s just I have heard it so many times that it’s not as impactful anymore.

13. Czechia 🇨🇿 - My Sister’s Crown by Vesna

I wasn’t sure vocally about this watching before the show concerts. However, they pulled it together though and the semi performance had me going. Deserved top 10. Well done ladies.

14. France 🇫🇷 - Évidemment by La Zarra

Vocally good. Performance was captivating. Idk why it was so low. It was quintessentially French, and I enjoyed it thoroughly.

15. Austria 🇦🇹 - Who the Hell is Edgar? by Salena and Teya

I thought this was too weird off the bat, but it grew on me. Hearing the crowd do the Poes was fun and glad they seemed to enjoy themselves. I get what the song is about, but idk if others missed it. Maybe that’s why it was low on televote??

16. Portugal 🇵🇹 - Ai Coraçao by Mimicat

Yes yes yes. Portugal did everything they should have always, which is authenticity. Mimicat was a joy to watch sashay around the stage in her feather skirt. Stole my heart for sure.

17. Latvia 🇱🇻 - Aīja by Sudden Lights

Oh Latvia. I’m so sorry you were in the semi of death. I think you’d have qualified otherwise. Very nice song and good performance. Definitely was brought to life more live than studio cut. Keep going this direction please.

18. UK 🇬🇧 - I Wrote a Song by Mae Muller

Song is good but I think vocals let it down slightly. Glad UK is in a good direction given the last 2 years. Keep it up.

19. Estonia 🇪🇪 - Bridges by Alika

I can’t dock this song for anything besides just personal opinion. It’s not that I was bored with it but I just liked others more. But live, she nailed everything and so I understand top 10 for her. Good job Estonia.

20. Germany 🇩🇪 - Blood and Glitter by Lord of the Lost

Look at me putting Germany in a non-last 5 overall position. What is this universe? Tbh it wasn’t high on my list until tonight. They killed it on the stage and rocked it out. Idk why it was last but at least it wasn’t 0 points again so hey improvements???

21. Albania 🇦🇱 - Duje by Albina and Fam

Just like Portugal, authentic. I’m a sucker for ethnic songs and while it wasn’t on my radar until the live shows, I’m glad it did after. Happy they qualified.

22. Georgia 🇬🇪 - Echo by Iru

NQ? Really?? This was so impactful vocally, visually. I don’t get it but truth be told, I still have no idea what the lyrics are. Idk if it was accent or what. But I don’t really care. So beautiful and passionate. Georgia, keep this up even if it was a NQ this time.

23. Belgium 🇧🇪 - Because of You by Gustaph

So this song is ok. I like the beat and the vogueing. I like the nod to ballroom. I think the lyrics are cliche and it sets something off in my brain where I can’t enjoy it like other people do. Idk what it is but glad they’re happy with the result.

24. Cyprus 🇨🇾 - Break a Broken Heart by Andrew Lambrou

Basic. Good but basic. Vocal iffy sometimes but a qualifier for sure.

25. Ukraine 🇺🇦 - Heart of Steel by Tvorchi

Glad they made it but the song is just ok. Elevated slightly by adding Ukrainian verse, but I would have liked more tbh. For a year celebrating Ukraine, I felt that the show did more than song in doing that imo. Czechia even did more tbh.

26. Moldova 🇲🇩 - Soarele si Luna by Pasha Parfeni

I prefer his 2012 song to this. Idk what is with the tribal influence, but I was so confused at the performance and the vocal was ok. At least it was enjoyable.

27. Netherlands 🇳🇱 - Burning Daylight by Mia and Dion

The studio was my #2 forever. It was so promising. Until I heard it live first. It was so bad. They fixed it, but I think they were kinda dead in the water already given how little their own people cared or wanted to promote them or the song, which is sad bc lyrically it was so relatable and felt by me.

28. Switzerland 🇨🇭- Waterguns by Reno Forrer

There’s nothing wrong with this song or him or his voice or the performance. I just was bored of it from the get go. I will merit his voice. It’s outstanding, but the song does nothing much for me. Would rather have had Latvia.

29. Denmark 🇩🇰 - Breaking My Heart by Reiley

I rather like this song. But only studio. The love was a struggle. Couldn’t seem to find the key for very long before losing it. May have simply been too high for his register. Either way, I enjoy it when on the playlist. Reminds me of the tracks for Heartstopper on Netflix.

30. Malta 🇲🇹 - Dance by The Busker

Is it bad? No. Is it good? No. Kinda middle ground. Would I dance to it? Yeah. Wasn’t too upset with the song. Just there.

31. Greece 🇬🇷 - What They Say by Victor Vernicos

Greece. We need to talk. I get wanting to fish for diaspora votes, but you have to qualify first. I don’t have anything against the song or the artist, but this was not putting the best foot forward. It gave Shawn Mendes wannabe and not Greek productions like we’ve seen in the recent years. It wasn’t broke. Put it back.

32. Ireland 🇮🇪 - We Are One by Wild Youth

You remember how U2 forced an album on us? This sounded like it was from that. I have nothing against the song bc I like Coldplay and U2, but come on Ireland. Surely you can do better than play it safe. Give us JR Eurovision level of taste. Give us Irish language and make a girl belt like a syren banshee.

33. Croatia 🇭🇷 - Mama ŠČ by Let 3

I am only putting this this high. I don’t get the hype or the reasoning. It’s weird in a not pleasant way. Parts are catchy so this is what I can give it.

34. Azerbaijan 🇦🇿 - Tell Me More by TuralTuranX

See Greece but Beatles instead of Shawn. Put it back. NOW.

35. San Marino 🇸🇲 - Like an Animal by Piqued Jacks

Take the lyrics away and the screaming at the end and it’s not bad music. Kinda reminds me of 1970-80s rock like Queen for a bit but bring back Achille.

36. Poland 🇵🇱 - Solo by Blanka

Just no. There I was minding my business and then all of a sudden, I hear this grating, irritating Bejba. I really didn’t like the song or her. Liking posts hating on fellow contestants in your national final. Immediate bottom even if you have a good song (see Armenia 2014).

37. Romania 🇷🇴 - DGT by Theodor Andrei

There weren’t many options for Romania this year tbh. Just unfortunately picked one where the song was just bad. Theodor can sing tho so give him a new song and act and would be higher on this list.

[azurelyy]

I Choose You [NaruSaku ☁️]

A/N: Hi, lovely people! This was written for @half-baked-biscuit’s canon kiss collab. Of course, the moment I saw it, I just knew I HAD to write for my favorite ship in Naruto, NaruSaku 💗🧡

P.S. I realize I am posting this later than I said I would and I am very sorry!

Warnings: None really, this is v. fluffy. Does have some elements of hurt/comfort.

Alternative Ao3 link.

The air was frigid as her heart, her best friend’s golden hair blowing in the wind as she followed behind him like a shadow. Every nerve in her body was burning up as the small group approached their destination and an endless hole carved its way into her stomach. Naruto was the best person she’d ever known - why it had taken her so damn long to acknowledge that was beyond what her teenage mind could fathom - but the fact was that he deserved better than her. Sakura knew he deserved better than her, but the thought of never trying would haunt her forever.

Don’t be a baby like always, she thought. Just pull him aside and tell him. It’s easy. The cynic in her was shouting at her inner-voice about how this was, in fact, not easy, and could result in Naruto laughing her out of the room - or worse - his life, for good. But Sakura didn’t have time to listen to the cynic. Or, rather, she didn’t want to listen to it. If she did, she might just back out. Again.

How many times had she tried to confess to him? Twice? Three times? It was hard to remember. There was the time after Tenchi Bridge, when she pulled him aside to help with his wounds while Kakashi and Yamato Sensei were sleeping. When her heart kept stuttering as his hands grazed against the burns on her arm and his electric blue eyes glassed over, resembling the most beautiful parts of the sea. 

Then there was the time after one of his training sessions, when he finally allowed himself a break. She took him out to ramen at Ichiraku’s, her treat, and found herself smiling as he gobbled down the ramen like he was starved, ignoring the pang of irritation at how hungry he seemed despite the delicious energy balls she kept making for him.

There had been a couple of other times, too, when Sakura felt as though she had finally gained the courage to tell Naruto but stumbled, as she always did. Like after they lost track of Sasuke, or after the Pain fight. They were all a blur to her now, just wishes and whims that never came to fruition. Upon reflection, she felt like an idiot. At the end of the day, this was still, well, Naruto. Even if he didn’t feel the same way as he used to, he would never push her away. Sakura knew that.

But that wasn’t what she was afraid of.

What she was afraid of was the way he hadn’t even asked if her taking him to Ichiraku’s was a date, or the way he’d started to touch her less, or that when he smiled at her lately it was less electric and more cryptic. Almost somber, like looking at her made him feel… morose, or pitiful. Every touch that caused fireworks to explode within her seemed to pain him, and that was what she feared the most - the affirmation that Naruto had moved on. That she had waited too long.

“Sakura!” Naruto shouted, causing her to misstep and stumble forward, falling face first into his chest. “Whoa, I’ve got you.”

His strong arms wrapped around her and Sakura nearly blacked out as she blinked in rapid succession, trying to calm herself down by breathing in through her nose. “S-Sorry, Naruto,” she grumbled, tempted to hug him back. Instead, she patted his arm and cursed herself mentally for doing that. “What happened?”

“We’re here,” Kakashi said. “But there’s a problem.”

“A problem?” Sakura questioned, glancing at her Sensei. She observed her surroundings and saw they were outside of a small inn, the rooftop covered with soft snow. Jeez, was I that lost in thought?

Kakashi’s face turned light pink. “Yes, well, they only have two rooms left.”

“Oh,” Sakura muttered. “Oh.”

“Yes, and one is the…” Kakashi trailed off, turning away to look at nothing. 

Yamato sighed and stepped forward, patting Kakashi on the shoulder. “There’s two beds and four of us. Naruto, you need the most rest and we think you should get the bigger room. However-”

“I can’t sleep in the same room as my elder’s,” Sakura finished, gulping down the tight ball of dread that had formed in the back of her throat. “And we don’t have any sleep scrolls.”

“I don’t care.” Naruto grumbled, dropping his hands from Sakura’s arms. Sakura felt heat rush to her cheeks when she realized Naruto had been holding her the whole time. How had she missed that? Naruto pointed his chin towards the jonin. “I’ll sleep on the floor in your room.”

The two Sensei’s glanced at each other quickly before focusing back to the teens. “That’s alright, Naruto,” Kakashi said. “I’m happy to sleep on the floor.”

“Nonsense!” Yamato shouted. “I’ll sleep on the floor. It stretches out my back, anyway.”

The men all continued bickering loudly, drawing the attention of the inn-keeper, who was now watching through a crack in the doorway. Sakura felt her head start pounding as Naruto walked over and started yelling about not needing rest. She hadn’t heard this much squabbling since Sasuke was on the team.

“Shut up!” Sakura yelled, silencing them. She felt her hands tremble, either from the cold or her nerves, as she grumbled, “I don’t mind sleeping with Naruto.”

“Wait!” Naruto exclaimed, pointing at Yamato. “Just make us a cabin like last time.”

“No jutsu!” An ancient voice called from the inn, sounding like it was on death’s door. Sakura turned to face one of the oldest men she had ever seen, watching them all with beady eyes. She glanced at Yamato through stands of pink hair as he visibly shivered and rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

“Yup! We got it. No jutsu.” He waved awkwardly as the old man grumbled and faded back to the shadows. “Man, he’s creepy.” Yamato whispered.

“What?” Naruto asked, flabbergasted. “You won’t make us a cabin because of some old man?”

“Naruto,” Kakashi chided, placing a slender hand to his shoulder. “We have to respect his wishes. It’s rude to-”

Naruto shrugged out from under his hand and grumbled, “Yeah, yeah. Shinobi honor and whatever. I got it.”

“So,” Sakura dragged out the vowel as she watched the men slowly succumb to the inevitable fate. “I call the side furthest from the door, though. If someone breaks in, they can deal with you first.” 

She gave Naruto a soft smile and watched as his face broke into a grin as he gave a sharp laugh. “It’s a deal.”

“THE HONEYMOON SUITE?” Sakura screamed, the water in the fish tank in the wall rippling from the shrill trill of her voice. 

Kakashi winced as he handed the cash to the innkeeper. “I tried telling you…”

Sakura huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. “Whatever.” 

“Don’t worry, Sakura,” Naruto assured as they walked to their rooms. “I’m sure the bed is really big! And we can put pillows between us.”

Sakura grabbed the key from Kakashi as she muttered to herself angrily, twisting it to the keyhole and opening the door. Naruto was right, the bed was massive, with bright red and pink sheets and pillows. And… rose petals. Everywhere. Sakura felt the breath escape from her lungs as Kakashi and Yamato sprinted away, shouting something about seeing them in the morning. 

She walked over to sit on the edge of the bed and looked out the window as the snow continued its slow descent to the white landscape below. She sighed and collapsed to her back just as the bed dipped next to her and her head landed on Naruto's chest. They both fumbled away, muttering apologies. Blood rushed to her cheeks as Naruto’s nose brushed against her own and he tried to angle away from her, awkwardly knocking his chin against her forehead.

“Ow,” Sakura grumbled, rubbing her head. Naruto laughed.

“I’m sorry!” He exclaimed, moving her hand away and pressing his thumb to the sore spot. She winced and he pulled away with a sad smile. “I’ll just lay down on the floor.”

“No!” Sakura’s voice was irritatingly high-pitched as she crawled away from him. “It’s fine. I’ll stay over here this time, I promise.”

He laid back down against the pillow with a low, “Thanks.” Awkward silence filled the air as Sakura sighed again and shifted her legs up to cradle her knees to her chest. Each fall of snow was like sand in a timer, slowly counting down the seconds she had left to tell Naruto how she felt. As she examined the situation, fully taking in the trail of rose petals that lead to the bathroom, the small ominous black box that was surely filled with condoms, and the delectable chocolates that sat on the edge of the hot tub in the corner of the bedroom, Sakura felt every ounce of courage drain from her.

“Naruto?”

“Sakura?”

They spoke simultaneously as they locked gazes, deep blue and spring green piercing through the uncomfortable silence like a kunai aimed for the heart. Hushed laughter filled the bedroom as heat rose to Sakura’s cheeks and she relaxed. 

“You go first.” He said heartily, twisting around and putting his weight to his elbow, resting his head in his hand. 

Sakura froze as all the moisture drained from her lips and she muttered, “N-No, you.”

He quirked an eyebrow at her before shrugging her weirdness off. “I was gonna ask… Nevermind.” He shook his head, beautiful blonde hairs falling around his face. “It’s nothing.”

“Ask what?” She encouraged, resting her cheek on the top of her knees.

“Why do you think Sasuke won’t come home, now that Itachi’s gone?” His voice was softer than the snow outside. Sakura pondered for a minute. The Sasuke they’d encountered recently wasn’t the same Sasuke that left the Village all those years ago - he was dark and cold, hateful. He was a stranger to her.

“I think he’s lost,” she answered truthfully. Naruto’s face was unreadable as he averted his eyes to the window. “His eyes when we saw him at Orochimaru’s hideout,” she continued, “They were darker. Sinister. I’m…” She faltered as tears welled in her eyes. “I’m scared of him, Naruto.”

The air around her shifted as Naruto got closer. “Hey,” he whispered, wrapping his arms around her body. “Don’t cry, Sakura. Please don’t cry.”

She fought back her tears with the force of the seven seas, trying her best to breathe normally, but Naruto’s warm arms pulled out every emotion she had been holding back and she succumbed to the waves, letting her shoulders shake as she cried into her knees. He rested his chin in her hair as he chanted reassurances - but Sakura noted that he didn’t once claim he would bring Sasuke back. Instead, he said things like “It will be alright” and “I’m gonna fix this.”

“I’m sorry, Naruto,” she sniffed, picking herself back up. “I’m such a baby.”

He chucked and shook his head. “It’s okay.”

They stayed that way for a long time before Naruto sliced through the silence. “What were you gonna say, Sakura? I kind of bummed us both out there, huh?”

He pulled away and Sakura was immediately freezing in his absence. She realized how much she yearned to be that close to him again and the dread of his rejection loomed overhead like a brewing thunderstorm. She bit the inside of her cheek and grabbed hold of his hand for support, surprising him. 

“Sakura?” He asked, confused. His eyes were dark navy, glinting with a strange curiosity Sakura had never seen before. 

“I have to tell you something, Naruto.” She tried to sound strong but her voice faltered and Naruto’s fingers twitched against her palm. His breathing was shallow and her nerves lit on fire. Was she really about to do this? Could she do this?

“Okay,” he held the ‘y’ for a long time before he said, “Tell me.”

“I don’t really know… where to start.” His face was completely blank as he blinked. “Okay, Naruto, just… Don’t freak out.”

“You’re being really weird, Sakura-chan,” Naruto stated, pulling his hand back. Shit. “Are you sure you’re alright sleeping in here with me? Maybe I should-”

“Naruto!” She yelled, a bit louder than she meant to and she watched as Naruto’s shoulders tensed up. Guilt laced its way to her heart. Poor guy probably thought she was about to punch him. “Sorry, just… This is hard. Just sit over there.”

He did as she said and sat cross-legged in front of her, a weary look on his face. His jaw was completely taut, his fine mouth formed into the thinnest line possible. Sakura took a deep breath.

“I’m just gonna… Say it,” his expression hadn’t changed, and she twisted her body around to face him fully, gripping to the red bed sheets with white knuckles. “I think I… No. I do. I like you, Naruto.”

Silence. Loud, unbearable silence. His blue eyes were striking her down with ferocity when she looked back up to him and her heart stopped beating. “Like me?” He finally asked.

“Yes.” She confirmed. Neither moved.

“I… like you too. We’re friends. I already knew that.”

Sakura had to bite her tongue to suppress the urge to shake him. “Naruto,” she tried to sound calm but the aggravation in her tone was obvious. “I like you.” She paused, and then added, hoping the juvenile confession would help his understanding. “I like-like you.”

“Oh,” was his only response. There was a deafening silence in his pause as his eyes moved to her knees, before he finally whispered, “Oh.”

Sakura watched his hands clench into hard fists as the air in her lungs thinned out. Her fingernails had cut into the thin fabric of the sheets and she pulled away, placing her hands into her lap awkwardly instead. Her body was itchy, hot. Uncomfortable. Naruto continued staring at her knee like it was growing flowers or something equally as interesting, his eyes growing wider with each agonizingly slow passing second.

She tried to laugh but it came out wheezy as she scratched the back of her head and abruptly stood up. Blood rushed to her head too slowly, making her dizzy. She wobbled gently, steadying herself on the edge of the bed. Naruto moved forward and gripped onto her hips to try and catch her.

“A-Are you okay?” He asked. Sakura’s heart dropped to her stomach and she wiggled her hips, allowing his hands to fall to the bed.

“Y-Yeah, I’m fine.” Her voice was almost nonexistent. “Anyway. I’m going to… get some ice.”

“Ice?” 

“It’s hot in here.”

“Feels fine to me.”

She groaned and paced along the length of the room. Once. Twice. Finally, she walked to the door and just as she was about to twist the knob, Naruto called, “Did you mean it?”

She peeked at him from over her shoulder, pink hair curtaining over her face. His entire body was stiff, his mako blue eyes locked onto hers with an intensity she had only seen him have in battle. It made her feel pathetic. 

She was right to be scared of telling him. He didn’t believe her at all. And could she blame him? She hadn’t exactly been honest with herself in the months leading up to this, trying to suppress her feelings deep within her soul, letting herself be torn apart as she watched Hinata be so open and honest with him. She had scarred herself by constantly pulling her feelings for him open again before stitching them back in, and had fully pushed herself out his heart because of it.

“Yes, Naruto,” her hand fell from the doorknob, hot tears welling in her eyes. “I’ve liked you for a long time. Not forever,” she laughed humorlessly, “I can admit that. But since you came back; since Tenchi Bridge… My feelings have only gotten stronger. Kind of like you.”

Naruto remained seated. Sakura awkwardly shuffled closer to him. He let out a shaky breath and averted his gaze to her mouth, then back to her eyes again. Beads of sweat dripped down his forehead as he awkwardly scratched the back of his head and tried to flash her his toothy grin, but he could only manage a smirk.

“Sakura,” his voice was even raspier than usual, “This isn’t funny, ya know? I mean, you like Sasuke-”

“No!” Naruto winced and she sat next to him on the bed, reaching for his hands. He pulled them back and she let hers fall to her lap as she sighed. “I don’t like Sasuke.”

It was the first time she’d said it out loud; the first time she let the words sting her throat. Her voice was reedy at the confession as a weight lifted from her shoulders. She didn’t like Sasuke. When she thought of him now, it was nothing like how she felt when she thought about Naruto. With Naruto, her heart sang, her hands clammed up, her lips tingled, her stomach filled with warmth that coursed into her soul. With Sasuke, she felt cold, her hands shook with dread, her heart fell to her stomach. She didn’t like Sasuke. Not anymore.

“That’s crazy, Sakura-chan,” Naruto said. He shook his head, blonde hair swaying all around his face. Sakura yearned to run her hands through it, painting them gold. “You’ve always liked Sasuke.”

“I did,” she admitted through tears that streaked down her cheeks. “But that was a long time ago, Naruto. You’re… I’m closer with you now than I ever was with Sasuke.”

He shifted next to her, letting his body inch towards hers. His fingers grazed against her own, sparks flying into the air around them. “I guess I see what you’re saying.”

“But I don’t like people who lie to themselves,” his voice was gentle, “I’m just Naruto, ya know? The same kid you’ve always been annoyed by.”

“You were annoying,” Sakura agreed, lacing her pinky finger around his index finger as time stood still around her. The air was filled with a magnetic force, drawing her closer to Naruto as his breath fanned over her face, cool against the heat of her skin. She glanced at him through her peripheral vision to find his eyes pinned on her, unblinking and focused. He was ready to listen. She turned to face him fully and she was certain her cheeks matched the hue of her rosy hair perfectly.

“As a child, I didn’t understand your pranks or cries for attention. Now that I’m older, I get it. I’m sorry for the way I acted back then.”

Naruto remained still, but his face warmed gently as a breeze, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards. “I have watched you grow and change, Naruto. I’m glad I get to say I’m your friend, and that you and I got to be on Team Seven together. That won’t change, no matter what - you’ll always be my teammate.”

She wiggled her toes and averted her eyes from him, feeling overwhelmed. “I know it’s hard to understand, but I just needed to let you know. I-” The skin of her cheeks and neck were seething. She took in a shaky breath and locked her eyes with his once more, allowing the depths of his ocean eyes to drown her entirely as she swam out into their current. “I really like you, Naruto. A lot.” She smiled at him bashfully.

 “If you don’t believe me, that’s fine,” she grabbed his hands, her peach green eyes singing into his soul, “But I want you to look at my eyes, really look at them. And tell me that you think I’m lying.”

Naruto’s eyes stayed locked to hers for a moment. Slowly, he trailed them down her body to her hands on his. He ran his thumb over the back of her knuckles before he intertwined his fingers with hers, chills running up the length of her spine and sinking into her shoulder muscles. She had to keep reminding herself to breathe, and was counting each heartbeat, trying to get an estimate on how madly her pulse was racing. She knew it wasn’t healthy; it felt as though she had just run several miles through thick mud. When he finally looked back at her, his eyes were filled with stars.

“Sakura…” His voice crackled like rain on pavement; so sweet, the sound. “I don’t know what to say.”

Her paper heart ripped in half. He didn’t say it back. He didn’t like her. Of course he doesn’t, she thought. You saw this coming, Haruno. Chin up.

She wanted the bed to come to life and eat her up, every last bit of her, until she was nothing more than a memory. Every fiber of her being was screaming at her to run away, to forget this ever happened. She couldn’t let him see her break. Her face was already mascara-stained and dirty. She realized she probably looked like a raccoon as she scoffed, twitching her fingers in his hand as a way to signal she wanted to move. He didn’t let go; his hand only tightened around hers. Sakura realized she was staring at the ceiling when Naruto’s other hand gripped onto her chin to guide her head back down to face him.

His thumb ran under her eyes, wiping away her mascara-tears that painted her cheeks as he smiled at her. A pity smile, great. Her lower lip twitched and she bit the inside of her cheek, trying to suppress the wail that was building within her chest. Her arms started shaking and she hung her head in defeat as Naruto shifted to hold her to his chest.

“Hey,” he said, “What’s wrong now? Did I mess up already?”

“N-No,” she wailed, sinking into him, “Sorry. I’m such an idiot. I should really go get that ice.”

“You’re freezing cold, Sakura,” he whispered, rubbing a hand over her shoulder. He planted a soft kiss to the top of her head and the entire world stopped spinning. Everything was slanted. She was upside down. Nothing made sense.

She gripped onto the front of his shirt as her tears seeped into the soft fabric, wishing she could turn her emotions on and off with the flick of a switch, or by pulling a lever. How convenient would that be? It would be so easy to handle rejection. Humans should all come equipped with their own personal-

“Can’t believe I messed up already,” Naruto’s voice cut through her internal screaming. “I wasn’t trying to make you cry. I’m the worst boyfriend ever.”

Boyfriend? 

“B-Boyfriend?” Sakura pulled back, hands still gripping to his shirt for dear life, sniffling. “What do you mean?”

“Isn’t that…” Naruto’s Adam’s apple bobbled in his throat. “Isn’t that what happens now?”

Sakura’s eyes widened and she could hear fluttering in her ears like tiny wings. “Are you saying that you like me too?”

Naruto grinned down at her as he rested his forehead against hers. “Well, yeah. Didn’t you know that already, though?”

“No!” This was a rollercoaster of emotions. She didn’t know how to feel anymore. “Naruto, you have to say it back.”

“Oh,” he laughed and rubbed his nose over hers as her bones turned to goo. “Sorry. I thought I said that already… You know, when I said you had a charming forehead and all.”

“What?” Sakura’s mind was racing in a million directions. Sasuke, on the bench, right after teams were assigned. Except…

“Th-That was you?”

Naruto pulled back abruptly and Sakura watched his eyes flicker with a glint of an unreadable emotion as he sputtered out a slew of garbled sentences. It was nearly impossible to understand him, but she made out bits and pieces, including something about how he was really sorry and that her forehead really is charming and he really does want to kiss it.

He was lucky Sakura was in such a good mood or she would yell at him about impersonating Sasuke, or about how it really isn’t nice to mess with a woman’s emotions like that, or about how that was years ago now and she needed to know if he still liked her. But when his lips touched her forehead as if he were trying to prove a point that words just couldn’t convey, everything she wanted to scream at him evaporated from her mind, and all she could do was smell his sandalwood cologne and feel his warm mouth on her cool skin.

“Naruto?” She whispered, trailing her fingers down his shirt. He hummed and pulled away, his face almost entirely red. Sakura smiled at him gently. “Will you just kiss me already?”

Naruto licked his lips as he leaned forward slowly, almost painfully so. She gripped the front of his shirt tightly, like it was her anchor, as a thick and lush vine sprouted from within her stomach and reached all the way to her heart, twining round her fears and covering them in a new growth until they were as invisible as a stranger passing by a crowded room, nothing but cellophane. 

Heavily and hypnotically, with her soul sparking like a faded fire that had been reignited with logs, Sakura leaned in and drank Naruto’s full, moist mouth, and his hungry lips were against hers, drinking her in return. Their eyes closed; fingers clutched at collars and hair, at the red sheets below, at the supernova of their souls colliding. And as they sank down, curtaining themselves with rose petals and the feel of their bodies pressing against each other, the horizon tipped on its side as, slowly and thickly, the hours melted away. It was Sakura’s first kiss, and it was with Naruto, and it was glorious. 

The hotel room door whipped open suddenly as the teens quickly jerked back, Naruto almost toppling off the bed as he awkwardly untangled his legs from hers. Dizzyingly, Sakura blinked her eyes, trying to focus onto the room through blurred vision as her body went frigid and Naruto sputtered dramatically, his voice miles and miles away.

“Good news! Yamato and I realized that he could - just - make a… bed…” Kakashi’s speech slowed to an abrupt stop, punctuated by a giggle as his eyes locked onto Sakura’s shocked expression. She was covering herself up instinctively, despite no clothes being removed; she was ashamed and alarmed, her body completely taut. Her brain was screaming at her with ferocity to defend herself, to defend Naruto, but all she could do was make a garbled sound of consonants. 

Yamato quickly appeared behind Kakashi with a blank expression. Sakura thought she saw the side of his mouth twitch upwards as he said, “What did I miss?”

“Yamato, I believe the rooms will need to be reassigned.” Kakashi stated smugly, his voice dripping with mischief. Sakura groaned and flipped over, curling herself up into a ball and hoping this nightmare would end.

“N-No,” Naruto protested. “You’ve got the wrong idea! Sakura-chan…We were… Training! Yeah, she needed help with-”

“Naruto,” Yamato chided playfully, “I think you should come sleep in our room. I’ll make you a bed, no one will have to know. Sakura can keep this room to herself.”

“But-”

“Naruto, please, just do what they say!” Sakura pleaded, burying her face into the sheets. She felt a calloused hand lazily rub her shoulder before Naruto placed a kiss - a fast, gentle kiss - to the side of her head, with a weak, “Okay.”

Sakura listened as the three of them all shuffled about the room, gathering Naruto’s things. They were agonizingly quiet and she could only imagine the speech Kakashi and Yamato had planned for Naruto when he got back into their room. She did her best to slow her beating heart by focusing on her breathing as they walked to the door. Kakashi made a quip about it being hot in this room and Sakura was thankful people couldn’t die of embarrassment or she would surely be deceased by now.

“I’ll be there in a sec,” Naruto called down the hallway, “I forgot…Something.”

Sakura rolled over and peeked through her eyelashes as Naruto leaned down to be at eye-level with her. He gave her a shy smile and tucked a few stray strands of pink hair behind her ear. 

“Are you okay?” He asked gently. His hand on her arm felt like a tiny sunbeam, warm and happy.

“That was the worst moment of my life.” Sakura groaned, leaning closer to him.

Naruto averted his eyes to her lips as he softly said, “That was the happiest moment of mine.”

“Naruto, I didn’t mean-”

Much like her fist, her second kiss was so much more than a concept. It was a feeling, it was a promise, it was a song. It was a river current, a lit match, a sealed love letter. As their lips danced together, they conveyed more than words ever could. As he gripped her heart in his hand, she tattooed the words onto his palm with pink ink and he in turn branded her soul with an eternal inscription: I choose you.

Thanks for reading! <3

[lesbianhoran]

mist my love !! hi I hope you're doing well <3

I was listening to heartbreak whether today and i thought of u so I wanted to ask if u may provide a ranking of the album (with your thoughts) 🥰

anyways love u !!

hello myle beloved!!! <3 i hope you’ve been doing well too :)

thank you sm for this ask i am so honored to know that u thought of me 🥺

heartbreak weather!!! incredible work of art!!! & easily my fav solo 1d album. i am forever mourning the fact niall didn’t get to tour this album, the hbw era deserved so much more :( holding onto hope that i get to hear all these songs live one day!

ok i tried like 3 separate times to rank these songs so here is what i settled on :’) if i spent time at work trying to figure out my hbw ranking for u don’t tell my boss! including bonus tracks too btw !

16. put a little love on me im so sorry for putting u at the bottom miss pallom! i usually love a piano ballad n i do think this is a nice song but it just doesn’t hit for me the way the rest of the album does </3 i do love the lyrics though you can tell how much of his heart niall put into this one!

15. nice to meet ya i promise all the singles aren’t at the bottom... ntmy bangs it does & i loved it a lot as our first look into the album! the mv is fun too i loved the lil hints it dropped for hbw. for me it simply does not go as hard as the others </3

14. san francisco love the imagery of a soaking wet niall showing up at your doorstep. also i think this song works so well as a second-to-last song, especially following the storyline of the album. n it has nice vibes!!! just not the fave

13. dress a song i dont listen to often enough! it’s a lovely one tho and i love it as a little epilogue bit to hbw. did not realize how much i rly do enjoy it till this relisten

12. bend the rules the tension this song captures? delicious. also this song reminds me of traitor by olivia rodrigo but i can’t figure out any other songs to put in a playlist with these two

11. dear patience just me and the stars can get lonely 🥺..... i just love this being an open conversation to Patience itself... trying to figure out a new relationship... i love it

10. small talk niall horndog rights!!!!!!!!!!! that’s all

9. new angel my favorite of the hey angel/only angel/new angel 1d angel trinity!! a banger!!! a touch of someone else to save me from myself......

8. black and white this song hello???? so soft....... when will that be me........ honestly such a lovely song. <3<3 also i still think abt u saying this is a samcedes song bc you’re so right about that!!!

7. still okay i think we have entered top tier hbw territory! first of all “if honesty means telling you the truth” is an amazing lyric bc yes that is in fact the defintion bestie <3 but this song ???? this song is soo. im big on album closers and this one is so top tier imo. i very much love a whole “it was always you/im still in love with you” type vibe....... that always gets to me.... anyway i know this seems low on the list but trust me, absolute chef’s kiss to this song

6. nothing BANGER!!!!!!! SLAPS!!!!!!!!! so upset this is only on the deluxe edition bc i wish i listened to it more often </3 goes so hard i love it. incredible song to blast in the car with the windows down. NOTHING babey!!!

5. cross your mind ends my golden trio on hbw, tracks 9-11! this song slaps.... being all in for someone even when it hurts you.... give me all the pain! give me everything! don’t hold back! anyway i am listening to it again and it simply slaps so hard

4. heartbreak weather hi title track my beloved <33 this song makes me so happy :’) like.... it feels! different! when you’re! with me! just a bunch of snapshots of moments in love... it bops hard and i love it as a lil summertime song :) a fav of mine to just vibe to happily! also, niall storm my beloved

3. everywhere this post? precisely. i try and try to forget you but your mother thinks i’m the best for you??? insane. the franticness... the desperation.... not to mention it is a complete banger i rest my case

2. arms of a stranger much like everywhere, the desperation in this song is so chef’s kiss... it just smacks so hard i’m sorry i can’t be any more eloquent i just love this song!! so hurt that it’s less than 3 minutes long! it’s always the best songs! anyway a banger

1. no judgement there she is.... no judgement 4ever and always... genuinely one of my fav love songs ever it is So. like the love here is so..... the “we don’t have to prove nothin’” of it all????? i won’t be over it!!!! i don’t know she is just The Song i really could melt into it i love you no judgement <3

anyway!!! a bit of this could change but in essence, i love you heartbreak weather by niall horan <3 thank you so much again for this question myle :) 💗 and i am very curious to hear your thoughts too if you’d like to share!!!!

love u too!!! 💞

[zenruption]

Treefort Roaming 2024 - Wednesday and Thursday

It’s back, that time of year when the music permeates all of amazing downtown Boise for five days. Yes, it is my favorite time of year and so far it hasn’t disappointed.

This year is a bit of a different approach. Instead of just roaming, I am much more disciplined as my time is far more limited. Being a dog dad means tons of dog love but also a lot of responsibility, so the 12 hour days at Treefort are no more. It’s a worthy trade-off.

Still, there have been a few surprises that one can’t help but come across while enjoying one of the best festivals in the U.S.

Let’s start with Wednesday.

Wednesday

With my dog, Brahms, in mind, I didn’t head out quite late and only stayed a few hours, but those hours were filled with several great acts.

While heading to the Treefort Music Hall, I found myself diverted to something that just sounded fun. And it was. The Boise Brewing stage is a super cool stage that has had some excellent acts. Buddy Crime is undoubtedly such an act.

A single musician, Louisville, Kentucky based Buddy Crime is backed by prerecorded hard thumping electro-pop to which he adds his lyrical and guitar skills. He’s high energy, puts out some incredible sarcastic vocals, and keeps the audience moving. The crowd was absolutely engaged and I look forward to seeing him again someday.

While I truly desired to stay late and see excellent Boise musicians, Magic Sword, it’d be an early night with only one more act on tap, Neko Case, at the main stage.

Neko Case has been labeled as “alt-country” or indie-rock,” but she defies the labels, becoming almost otherworldly and emitting a chilling vibe in songs such as “Hold on, Hold on.” With haunting sound and lyrics, she grabs you, and you can’t walk away mid-song. Her long career in music has yielded a large amount of work, and she deserves your listen. Check her out on your music service.

Thursday

An annual tradition is watching the first Gonzaga NCAA Tournament game at the excellent Owyhee Tavern while eating a steak. Afterward, it was past eight, and it was time to get out there.

While I only caught the last three songs of Australia’s Blusher at the Treefort Music Hall, it was a blast, making me wish I’d been there for the whole thing. An electro-pop infused experience from three female amazing singers made it part girl band and part high energy indie. Let’s just call it what it is, a ton of fun.

Look for Blusher to be touring the U.S. this next year, as they told me they just got their visas and will be living in L.A.

Things mellowed quite a bit with French Cassettes, but they are a phenomenal band putting out their own harmony-driven pop, with a sound best (but very loosely) compared to Vampire Weekend. Check out their pre-release song, “Benzene.” It’s fabulous.

Then there is Karina Rykeman, who recently dropped her debut album, Joyride. There’s nothing like Karina. She is an incredible bassist, her guitarist is phenomenal, and her lyrics are silky smooth. In many ways, I felt like I did when at a Khruangbin concert but without all the reverb.

Karina is high-energy and keeps everyone dancing, and the crowd loves her. Listen to her track “Joyride” right now!

And that’s it. It was another early evening with absolutely amazing bands. This is why Treefort is incredible; you’re constantly discovering new music to fall in love with.

[briamichellewrites]

62

briamichelle: Day 4 – Moscow, Russia

Rob was secretly jealous and insecure. He was even more insecure about Bria. She was beautiful with an outgoing personality and qualities that any guy would want in a girlfriend. But, she chose him to fall in love with. Why? Mike and Brad listened to him. They knew that as the youngest, he felt he had to be as good as them. He was self-conscious about his drumming skills and whether or not he even deserved to be in the band. They assured him every time that he was more than good enough.

Why did she pick him out of every other guy? Because she saw a guy who was sensitive and who treated her with respect. She saw his personality and sense of humor. He made her genuinely happy and every time she mentioned him, her eyes lit up. She loved him because of who he was.

Robert Gregory Bourdon from Calabasas, California. She loved him because he was there for her. He loved her because of how she treated others. She was outgoing, personable, beautiful, funny, and intelligent. There were not enough words in any language that could describe her. He also loved being with her in bed and making love to her.

But he didn’t mention that because it would be too much information. That was one of his favorite moments with her. She was fast asleep when he got back to their room. He took off his jeans and laid them on the chair before getting into bed next to her. It was around midnight but he couldn’t sleep. His mind was keeping him awake. Depression. He had struggled with it his entire life. It went along with his insecurities. He couldn’t see how great of a person he was.

That’s why he identified with Chester and his struggles with depression. They had moments where they talked together. Chester was the oldest, so he took to him like an older brother. He knew what it was like to have his mind trying to kill him. The concert. He replayed it in his head. Did he keep his rhythm? Did he play well enough? Was anyone watching him or were they too focused on Chester and Mike? Was he even good enough to be on that stage?

He thought about the hug she gave him after the show. Oh, my god! That was awesome! He wrapped his arms around her. Adrenaline was still pumping through his veins and he was on Cloud Nine. You have to do better next time, Rob. He had to ask how he could be better. Did he need to practice more? Did he need to learn a new technique? Did he lose track of his timing or speed?

The next morning, Phoenix approached him. Before he could speak, he put his hand out to stop him.

“I know what you’re going to ask. No, there’s nothing you could have done differently or better. The only person who is thinking about your performance is you.”

Thank you. He needed to hear that. You’re welcome. They went over to where they were serving breakfast. There was a variety of vegan and no vegan options. He grabbed some mixed cut-up fruit and a bowl of oatmeal with a glass of orange juice. She was talking with Joe, Chester, and Mike. They were in various stages of waking up.

She had grabbed some scrambled eggs, sausage links, a fruit cup, and a glass of orange juice. Her hair was combed and in a ponytail. How many pictures did she take? A million. They laughed. She had to sort through them to find the good ones, so she could post them. They had a couple of days before flying to Wrocław, Poland. Since they were allowed to sleep in, they were in a good mood. After eating, she was high on energy.

She came out dressed in a skirt that went down to her ankles, a white crop top, and matching tennis shoes. Tied around her waist was a zip-up hoodie that matched her skirt. Phoenix joked she had more fashion sense than him. She replied he was the straightest gay guy she had ever met. Yes, he was. He was not a stereotype.

The only difference between him and other guys was that he preferred men sexually and romantically. He discovered his sexuality in high school, but he didn’t get to explore being with other men until college. When he was one hundred percent sure, he came out to his closest friends. The scariest moment was coming out to his family. They didn’t expect him to be gay because he had girlfriends in high school. Still, they decided it didn’t matter.

The band was the last to know. He told them when they were all hanging out. They were going to be playing together and traveling together when they finally made their first album, so he wanted to be honest with them. It was never a problem for them. He was not interested in women. There was nothing wrong with that. They met his various boyfriends.

In college, he developed depression and he self-medicated with alcohol. He was so scared about coming out. His drinking got worse and worse and it affected his grades. He was a student who made As and Bs. Suddenly, he was making Cs. Brad pushed him to get help after finding him passed out with empty beer bottles in their dorm room. He made sure he was okay and still alive before getting rid of the alcohol. When he woke up, he went through the worst hangover ever.

He quietly went to rehab, where he finally admitted to his parents that he was gay. Was that why he was drinking? Yes, it was. They accepted him right away, as did his brothers. After completing rehab, he went back to school. Brad made sure he stayed sober. He did and he was able to graduate on time. His grades improved significantly.

Almost twenty years later, he was comfortable with who he was. He was still sober and he thanked Brad for helping him. If he didn’t, he would probably be dead. He was welcome. When his mother died from cancer in 2008, he almost relapsed but his brothers and father prevented that from happening. The band also kept their eyes on him. She fought courageously for two years against breast cancer. But, the disease had won out.

He did have moments where it was easier to drink than to deal with whatever stress he was feeling. But, he couldn’t do that. Instead, he focused on being a father. His girls were more important than getting drunk until he passed out. He couldn’t do that to them. Not after watching their mother struggle with a drug addiction.

My name is David Farrell and I’m an alcoholic. Admitting that was hard. But, he couldn’t deny having a problem because then it quickly got out of control. His thoughts were interrupted by Joe. Phoenix! He laughed in embarrassment.

“Sorry, I got distracted. What did you say?”

“Chester is going down to work out.”

Oh! He got up and went to get his workout clothes. Chester and their bodyguards were waiting for him, so he grabbed everything quickly. Chester asked him where he went. They had been trying to get a hold of him for five minutes. He had no idea. Chester laughed. When he was ready, they walked out with one bodyguard in front and the other in the back.

@zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @alina-dixon @fiickle-nia

[incidentalblr]

WOE! TOP 10 JOHN MAYER SONGS BE UPON YE!!!!!

Intro

i am well aware that this post might as well be a diary entry. almost none of the people who follow this blog particularly give a shit about john mayer, but that’s okay. because that’s what this post is for me: a diary entry. john mayer’s discography is my favorite in the whole world. he’s the first artist i ever remember listening to. i remember being in first grade and listening to his music on the way home from school. i remember driving to panera bread at 5 and being excited when i heard No Such Thing. i remember sitting with my rock candy outside of Kilwins’ and being reminded of Clarity. these songs are beyond close to my heart; they’re the only constant in my life. if you’re my mutual and you’re reading this, thank you for letting me give you a piece of my heart

The List:

10. Gravity

She’s an icon, she’s a legend, and she is the moment. I will admit it was slightly perfunctorily that i put her on here, but my original list was 22 songs and i had to narrow it down somehow, so starting off the list with a well known and loved track feels right. gravity is a very peaceful song to me, it feels like a warm hug or hot cocoa. plus the Where the Light Is version absolutely brings down the house and is one of my favorite tracks on that album

9. Taking On Water

Okayyyyy… how Perfectly Lonely and All We Ever Do Is Say Goodbye made it onto Battle Studies and not THIS?$?@?&????? is beyond me. A criminally underrated track, I’ve actually heard that it may be an early draft of I Will Be Found???? not sure whether that’s verifiable or not but interesting nonetheless. absolutely brutal track, and i love it dearly.

8. Clarity

Our first (but not last) heavier things containment breech, this song is imo the perfect encapsulation of anxiety and disassociation. a great album opener for John Mayer’s best, this song really puts you in the mood for the album and i always feel like singing along

7. I Will Be Found

i’m personally a little shocked that this made the list over all the others, maybe it’s the novelty factor of not having listened in a while, maybe it’s the fact that this song singlehandedly got me through 8th grade? i don’t know. you tell me. i originally had this way higher then i checked myself and was like OVER WHEEL????? OVER WHEEL? never in a million years. she’s still a baddie though

6. St Patrick’s Day

The organ… the chord structure, the lyricism??? certainly a bold and memorable closer for a debut album. it represents Room For Squares well. this song speaks for itself, so i’ll let it do the talking

5. Wheel

Heavier Things again. what even to say? where do i even begin? my favorite album closer of all time, wheel is really something special. the muted production, the inherent cynicism contrasted with the hopeful ending lyric, the guitar tone, the way it fades to only vocals at the end. what isn’t there to say about this song?

4. Something’s Missing

this is the first song i can ever remember listening to in my entire life. i used to think the lyrics to the chorus were “So thanks, Miss Ann.” there’s nothing i don’t like about this song, and it is very near and dear.

The Top 3

there was never any doubt in my mind which songs would be the top three. there was never any doubt in my mind which songs would be the top 2 actually, merely what order they would be in. these songs are a cut above the others for me, in a league of their own not only in john mayer’s music but just in music in general. without further adieu, here are the top three:

3. Stop This Train

possibly the only song nearer and dearer than Something’s Missing, this song is beyond personal to me. when i was younger, i thought this song was pretty, but it never stood out to me. it wasn’t until my grandparents moved away and my mom started listening to this song on repeat that i started to give it some of the recognition it deserved. still, this song was for her, not for me. then i listened to Where the Light Is for the first time. this song had me speechless. absolutely stunned beyond words. i thought it was good, i thought it was really good in the sense that i thought it was brilliant and poignant, but i have a very high emotional tolerance for sad media (my favorite thing in the history of ever is Les miserables; i get joyful listening to that, something literally called The Wretched) and it never really affected me. then 2019 rolls around. and my parents get divorced. my dad and i are both nerds, and he was driving me to school that week. he puts on where the light is in the car. when stop this train came on i cried harder to that song than i have ever cried to any song, ever. along with the heavier things album cover, i want the lyrics to this song tattooed on me.

2. Edge of Desire

the production, the contemplative guitar riff, the yearing vocals, the solo? there’s nothing i would change about this song. i cannot begin to stress to you just how much of a close call it was between this and #1. This song is probably my #2 most listened song of all time right behind Fire and Rain by James Taylor. whether it be the acoustic version or the studio recording, this song is beyond words. it is truly undescribed. it is very possible that the minute i post this i will edit the list so that this song is number one, it’s that close between it and…

Our winner…

1. In Your Atmosphere

For a song that never even got a studio recording, In Your Atmosphere is truly something special. there’s something different about it from anything else in john mayer’s catalogue. when i first heard it, i didn’t even like it. i thought it was two separate songs jammed onto one track. i wasn’t even sure that it wasn’t a cover. needless to say, my opinions have changed. there’s something about this song that seeps under your skin, inscribes itself onto parts of yourself without your permission. it’s all at once wistful and regretful, celebratory and bitter, sweeping and intimate. wishing for a time that you wish to forget. hoping for a repeat of blissful misery. the incandescent weight of a memory. it’s just john and his guitar: the best kind of john mayer song

[bastardsofravenkroft-blog]

speak now tv for me on first listen:

in general:

i love the heavier and more unfiltered (?) guitar work, it suits speak now soooo well. hate whoever the backup singer dude is. their voice is not good with hers imo, its really throwing me off. i dont like how quiet her secondary/backup vocals/‘improvs’ are either. its hard to tell if i like the mix or not yet bc its just different yk

in specific:

i like all the vault tracks. theyre good. anyone who thought castles crumbling would be scream-y i have full rights to call you silly. i can see you was way more of a banger than i thought it would be.

fucking hate mine. i will not be listening to it i dont think. which is the first rerecord i absolutely cannot stand. remember when big wigs came up on you belong with me tv and said its a totally different song and thats me with mine. its awful

sparks fly - pretty good overall, doesnt quite match the heart of the og but i think thatll be a running theme unfortunately.

back to december - perfect. theres a sorta loud like horn or something after the first chorus but its fine. very good taysquared fans are FED.

speak now - perfect. solid. nothing to say bc its a pretty nothing song really but its great.

dear john - honestly was just okay until the middle really. then she really gets into i feel, and it fucking hits. the girl in the dress wrote you a song. and you shouldve known.

mean - i love it! sounds like how it did when they played it live. its fun

the story of us - meh. its not bad at all but its not like. magical either. i like the og better but this is still perfectly listenable

never grow up - three times as good as the original. listening to this was like hearing it for the first time at 14 when someone had one of the most prevalent thoughts in my head into one song.

enchanted - the model rerecord (kinda). this is what they should be. not all of them are going to be exact remakes, but this one is pretty damn close but still has its own personality. WIN.

better than revenge - BANGER. THE FUCKING BACKING VOCALS. i dont mind the lyric change, its hers to change, and i dont think thats much of anybody’s business. shes come to terms with the way she treated another woman when she was 18 and i personally wont shit on her for that. and she couldve intentionally made it shit so a lyric that still works well and illustrates the picture? yes please

innocent - better than the original. better. esp the bridge. no more words cause i will be crying. (also i didnt know for years this shit was about kanye and ngl that did sour it a bit but its MINE so I WILL NOT BE CARING. ty)

haunted - ehhhhh. this is one of my favorite ts songs literally ever bc i was born and raised to be an emo piece of shit, i love the second half, but im not sold on the first half. i hope this is one that mega grows on me, and im still so fucking disappointed not to have an acoustic rerecord :( hopefully itll be added later bc its so fucking good

last kiss - the two seconds of waiting for this to play were like every first day of school all over again. but like enchanted its stellar, she got into it from the beginning and i always forget what an amazing song this is until i listen to it again. i wrote this song out in full at least five times in the journal i had at the time. i really love this version just as much.

long live - so fucking faithful??? WHERE WAS THIS ENERGY FOR MINE??? UGGHHHHHHH anyways shes cute! i like. not super attached to this song anymore but i like this way more than the og even i think. a spruce up was what it needed for me i think

ours - its really really different, and i have no feelings really bc ive never really liked it lol. it flows better i think now, but its still a boring weee im in love song so eh

superman - i really didnt listen to this lmao, it didnt deserve to be on any version of speak now imo, esp now hearing the vault tracks, i wouldve liked foolish one more (timeless is more red to me, she was a bit too immature for when emma falls in love and castles crumbling to sound right, and the other songs were too pop for speak now really)

no matter what though, red and speak now will never be replaceable for me. i love these versions but listening to the originals as a young teenage girl and feel heard and seen in ways i never had been before and working through so many complicated things with the help of those songs is something the rerecords will never have.

also whoever said she could remove one of her best songs from arguably one of her best albums.

[lastchancevillagegreen]

Saturday, 5 November 2022 (Champaign/ Exile On Main Street): 

REM Succumbs REM (A&M Video) (released in 1987)

This has been sitting on the shelf at Exile in Champaign for I’m not sure how long.  I almost bought it the last time I was there and didn’t and I have thought about it considerably since my last visit to the record shop.  The price tag on the front of the cover was marked at a whopping $4.00.  It was coming home with me and PJ (see the 6 November entry for PJ Harvey) this time around.

As you can see from the photos above, this box isn’t in the best of conditions.  The cover has some of the color flaked off and the left side spine is bent and coming unglued.  But I didn’t really care.  I never encounter things like this in record shops near me and at the present moment I have REM invading my strange dream cycle/ landscape these days.  Not actually the band but their original vinyl on Warner Bros seems to endlessly be parading in all the record shops in the town my dream self has been trapped in for at least the last four consecutive weeks.  My dreams usually take place in concrete buildings with empty walls and floors and all I have in them is a computer that doesn’t properly work correctly.  This strange continuing dream looks like Cinemascope and it is all in the same town that is tremendously overpopulated with people in bright garish colors save for myself who is dressed in only pastels of pink and blue.  The details of this strange town are off the charts, so REM is heavily on my mind.

In real life I do have a weird portable television (as they were quaintly called back in days gone by) that contains a built in VHS player that works quite well believe it or not.  So I played it later that same evening after buying it in the afternoon.  Listening to early REM can bring pangs of nostalgia for my young life when I was just married, finding my career track, building a great professional resume and buying my first house.  All this came while REM was on IRS. 

I remember parties at my house where people only wanted to hear my 45 collection (I had at least 1000 singles if not more) and I’d pepper the playing of 45s with recent music that I felt deserved to be known.  Balloon Man by Robyn Hitchcock drove most people to take a bathroom break or to run downstairs to get a beer out of the fridge.  I remember arguing with one guy who claimed Flipper deserved radio airplay while I claimed REM’s Don’t Go Back To Rockville was perfect radio fodder.  He was the only person I knew who liked similar music as myself.  He tried to discourage my love for REM by claiming I looked like somebody who would like REM.  None of my friends had ever heard of REM and weren’t impressed when I’d play something claiming they deserved to be huge!  Of course cut to the Warner Bros years and the whole world loved REM. 

But it is those IRS years that make me ache with a desire to return to the time when my life was just beginning to hit the adult highlights.  I was not yet a drunk or drug addict, I was blissfully in love and I could still hear Mike Mills’ harmonies and I believed I was great at my job.  Of course, like a great Chekhov story everything comes unraveled and lost and I’m a parody of what even the worst writer wouldn’t assign his least loved character.   But listening to REM’s music on the IRS years when they were my all time favorite band and I could sit and listen to them endlessly over and over and over sure brings back those years of the 1980s when everything was technicolor happiness.  Those feelings came flooding back as I watched this VHS tape.  Yes, the videos were all helmed by Shakey The Cameraman (a name my first wife coined for the videos that zipped and zoomed and rarely focused) but I didn’t mind, that’s how things worked for the coolest band (in my mind) of that era. 

The photos above show you the cover of the VHS tape.  The next two photos are of the spines, left side first, right side second.  That last photo is of the back of the cover.  This cover is different from most I see that are generally slipcovers.  You have to open this one and slide the tape out.  Most VHS covers I have seen are merely slipcovers.

If you look at the track list on the back the one item that one might raise questions is that titled “Left of Reckoning.”  It contains footage of the band building windmills.  As they build them five tracks from their second album Reckoning play: Harborcoat, 7 Chinese Brothers, So. Central Rain, Pretty Persuasion and Time After Time (Annelise).  These are the LP versions of each song.

For preservation purposes, this photo shows you what the tape itself looks like.

[a-moth-to-the-light]

NMA 2022 Votes: Group of the Year

[masterpost]

My Vote: IVE

"Love Dive" was pretty neat! I liked the prechorus, and I liked even more how excited k-tube got about it--the enthusiasm was contagious even when, just like with "Eleven", the song didn't really appeal to me. IVE could have won this year for me on leftover exuberance from "Love Dive" alone, the joy of watching the community explode with "NARCISSISTIC, MY GOD I LOVE IT", but then "After Like" came around. On first listen, the crunchy-sounding vocal processing annoyed me, though I thought the melodies were delightful, but soon the unique textures won me over, allowing me to enjoy the song on repeat for days at a time while I savored its rougher edges. I love glamour, and my first few months in college, full of medical issues that left my body tired and my mind foggy, were the perfect time for a song that indulged my escapist fantasies and allowed me to feel fully awake, fully alive, even if just for a few minutes at a time. So yes, I've admired this group for a while, and I'm proud to say that their elegant but catchy brand of music finally won me over with "After Like". They deserve all the wins they get this year!

My Nomination: Twice

In 2021, I noticed people starting to get bored of Twice. I, for one, didn't--in fact, three of their songs showed up on my personal Top 100 of 2021 list--but two toned-down Korean title tracks in a row seemed to disappoint those who had fallen for their image as glitzy pop princesses, especially if they weren't committed to checking out the bsides on their 2021 albums. This year, though, Twice gave us two full-sounding, high-energy dance tracks as titles with Nayeon's "Pop!" (with bonus points for "No Problem", which everyone seemed to fall in love with) and the group release "Talk that Talk". Twice is my second-favorite k-pop group, so you know I'll enjoy sitting down with every release of theirs, but the excitement I felt when I first heard the chorus of "Talk that Talk" explode with bass and layers of glitter reminded me of everything that drew the public's eye to them in the first place. Twice's 2022 was breathtaking, and I couldn't be happier to experience it as a die-hard enjoyer of their music!

[yostresswritinggirl]

Hi there. Can I request a poly relationship with Albedo, Xiao and Scaramouche ? A mix of fluff n a pinch of smut is this possible ?

First of all, what the fuck gave you this wacky idea? I thought at first, wow, this is so random, how did they think this. But then upon making the banner- IT'S ALL MY HUSBANDS IN ONE FICNWOFHLSNDLKSBSOANA

I'll do my best but oh gawd, I'm just so baffled right now HAHAHHA- brain juice GONE

Three Shorties Convention

Poly Relationship with Scaramouche, Albedo and Xiao... (event masterlist)

HOW?!

Three individuals from three different nations somehow collated to love a single human, that of which is you. With how wide your range is for such individuals, we can greatly assume that you are an adventurer travelling the world.

You first met Scaramouche who was undercover, on the way to Mondstadt/Liyue through boat. As he was in the down low, he made sure to act friendly to avoid suspicion. When he heard you were on the same path, he thought of using you as an alibi.

The next person you came across was Xiao when you were passing by the Inn. You heard of the Adepti residing in the area and wanted to ask for blessings as your journey would be much more confusing and dangerous. You lit up incense and a small prayer before leaving.

The last person you met was Albedo. Mond was your last destination before you laid low again until your next long expedition, and you were looking for Alice who you met long ago during your expeditions. You last heard about Mond from her and wanted to talk to her about your adventures but ended up empty.

What made them stay/intrigued? For Scaramouche, he saw you messing with the meteors and your theories, your disarrayed thoughts and ideas somehow made sense when he looks past the lines. And you ended up being the reason he found the large piece of meteor in that... island thingy.

For Xiao, it was the incense I mentioned earlier. It was something you got as a souvenir from a commission in Inazuma, and the scent it gave off brought him to Teyvat Nirvana, the voices silent and his body soothed. His curiousity got the best of him as he tracked your path.

And finally, you first piqued Albedo's interest when you mentioned your affiliation with Alice, and when he listened to your stories (you forced him to listen since Alice was not there) it remindee him greatly of his master.

All of them were attached so badly that on your way to the wilderness one day, the three of them ended up confronting you in some kind of JJBA way with you in the middle. Their Visions and weapons were raised in worry until you identified how you knew them all.

And when they found out of each other's interests towards you, they grew more wary but turned to you: who was busy picking up a mint flower to truly understand what's going on.

"I like all of you!" Somehow all three of them were smart enough to realize that you hold at least a drop of endearment for each of them.

It was supposed to be a silent competition, that then ended up to an ambiguous relationship through coexistence. The problem here is: all four of you barely understood the grounds of a proper relationship, and delved deeper into this polyamory without a second thought.

Equal Thirds

Oh geezus, this is the most confusing setup you've been through. Having to juggle between three continents, three men, three different occasions. They were so petty to the point that your schedule must be split EQUALLY or else the other two would ambush the place you would be in.

Albedo is the busiest and lax when it comes to your "relationship schedule." As a person of Alchemy, he takes days buried deep into his research and he is more than thankful for the existence of a schedule, as he struggles with the maintenance of human relations a concrete time and day for when he is needed balances this. Albedo requests your presence during the period after his major experiments where he wishes to unwind and empty his brain of the equations and machinations. His type of love deals with comfort and distraction.

Xiao has the most free time in your relationship in terms of work, but he is also the one tied down strictly to his code of conduct. His time with you comes from your visits to Liyue and he will always be by your side whether you're in the outskirts or within the mortal realm. His type of love, ironically, is filled with longing touches and whispers of adoration for your strength and light that silences the voices in his head.

Scaramouche is the neediest boy in this bunch, the most mortal of them and the farthest from your reach. Your relationship is a secret to everyone especially the Fatui, but he makes sure that every agent in Liyue and Mond does not lay a hand on you or else he's breaking that same limb. Your time with him comes when HE comes over no matter where you are or what you do. His 'love' is filled with materialism and feisty aura, revelling in strenght and power dynamics.

When you're in charge of the schedule is the rare times that all three of you are together, because you plan your expeditions well in par with their seemingly conflicting schedules. Soon enough you four would be a whole team of travellers going around Teyvat to indulge whatever curiousities you lay upon.

"Circus Festival in Fontaine? Sign me and my three boys the fuck up. No complains, I know you're free."

Camping and travelling with them is sooo convenient too because they're all incredibly strong in constitution and battle. You only need to hang back and watch as they bring you a fireworks of elements, which are thankfully not very harmful against each other.

You're NEVER hurt or even TOUCHED when they're with you, they always have keen eyes for danger and always stick close to you to make sure you are safe. But on a RARE occasion that you DO get hurt, they have a formation: Albedo is tasked in retrieving you, Scaramouche is the backup in clearing a safe area for possible first aid, and Xiao lets all hell break loose once you three are gone.

They help out as much as they can whenever you all go out to camp but ultimately it ends up being some kind of adventuring class for the three of them since you're the master in this field.

Cute stuff: You never keep watch because they always want to cuddle, so one would be up and the other two would be cuddling you on both sides, and the rounds would switch between them while you have your beauty nap.

Albedo is pretty chill with the other two, but Scaramouche and Xiao seem to have a tension between them due to his Harbinger status. Xiao is wary and protective of Albedo because of the knowledge of his background coming from Morax. And all three of you deal with Scara's chattiness.

Your Pet Names for them! Scaramouche: Darling; Xiao: Sweetie; Albedo: Beloved. If you go beyond that, they start to see favoritism so you picked them carefully.

Their Pet Names for you! Scaramouche: My Dear; Xiao: Beloved; Albedo: Sunshine.

Soon enough, their soft rivalries turned into friendly coexistence and they would start to at least see each other in a better light besides acquaintances. While nothing physical or lovey-dovey would happen between them as they only ever see you in that way, they develop respect and slight trust. Competition long gone as it dissolves into compassion in protecting you and giving you the loving you deserve.

@albaedhoe @struggljng @heisenwurst @moaa @dandelion-dreams @witchsungie @lehra @kookieyachi @struggljng @zelos-simp @legionqueensav @snackgod @rxsalinee @cala-ran @wind-wheel @lilydewi22

Softcore under the cut! No looking, my children

In this relationship, individual and multiple participating intercourse is normal, and they happen when all parties involved are ever comfortable. With the fact that you'll change continents in mind soon after, the boys have their little rituals with you.

The most prominent of all would be Scaramouche's signature hickey on your neck. He sucks it hard enough to make it stay for WEEKS, so that when the other boys move to kiss you on your neck, they see the apparent mark and groan to themselves in defeat. It was your sensitive and ticklish spot, and he makes sure he owns it.

For Albedo, he almost always (probably in a kink way) do it with you on a surface that's NOT the bed. Table, chair, sofa, his lap, it seems that the bed is a sacred place for rest. And he usually ends up doing it when he is about to finish his work, hence the convenience of such furnitures. You were conditioned to the point that if you even just innocently lean on a furniture, your mind and body immediately snaps back to those moments, making you back off with a flushed face.

Xiao is the most innocent and yeet friskiest of them all. He loves to litter you with kisses all over your body, no bites and no scratches, just innocent flutters of his lips that makes you tingle. But such moments of lovemaking... seem to always happen on the Inn's balcony. Most of the time it's when the door leading there is closed for the night, but you were sure there were occasions that someone at least knew or saw what was happening, but you two were too drowned in pleasure to notice.

Whenever all four of you were to participate, safe words are always emphasized. Because you're suffocating right after between their bodies with all holes filled to the brim with them. Usually the formation goes as: Albedo behind you, Xiao in front and Scaramouche in your mouth. They may switch up when you still have the stamina but that's their default order, and yes, you orgasm multiple times and are overstimulated a lot. To the point that you're getting used to it.

It's a golden rule to always shower before and after your session, and they would be very caring and gentle during aftercare. With this arrangement, you always have a large bed rented or in your arsenal for a huge cuddle session at night.

[xenia-cenia]

Hii actually i already request this somewhere but i really want to read a different version of everyone about this idea but if it's uncomfortable with u than it's okay☺ soo may i request a fic about a reader who got isekaied into BSD? and the reader loves Dazai so much and wants to be there for him through everything, the reader knows that they can't change Dazai but still wants to be there with him as moral support and eventhough dazai push the reader away, they still smile kindly at Dazai and still be there with him until the end (with kinda romantic feeling blossom😳), actually i'm still hurting with what happened to Dazai in BSD beast and wants nothing but to hug him😭 i don't mind if u want to write about ADA Dazai or Beast Dazai🤧 if it's possible i hope u can make it😭 Thank you so muchh im sorry it's too long😭

A/N-i may of had too much fun with this

Breaking this up into 2 parts because I have a lot of ideas for this! Sorry that this part isn’t exactly what you wanted, but I promise it’ll end happily.

Trigger/Content Warnings: Derealization (I think?), spoilers, suicide mentions/jokes (its dazai), swearing

Part two

Word Count: 1,230

You flipped through the near-memorized pages of your favorite manga, sighing at a familiar face. Dazai Osamu - you weren't quite sure why you liked him so much. Maybe it was sympathy. Maybe it was his pretty face.

Once again, he was idly talking about the 'ideal suicide' while Atsushi listened uncomfortably.

"I wish I could help you..." you mumbled absent-mindedly, "like how you helped me." As you spoke, you laid your finger on his picture and shut your eyes.

When you opened your eyes, you noticed instantly something was wrong. Wind was blowing on your face, and you could hear cars roaring nearby. You sat up - had your head been pounding earlier? - and tried to figure out what just happened.

"Am I dead?" You wondered out loud.

"A beauty like you, dying alone? No, I could never let it happen!" A voice cried out from nearby. Your head snapped in the direction of the voice, and your eyes widened.

"Da... zai?"

"Oh my," he took his hands out of his pockets and shook his head, and walking up to you, "Have we met before?"

"No! I mean..." you choked on your spit. "Yes?"

He stopped walking and eyed you. "Are you lost?"

'Lost' was an understatement. You weren't quite certain you weren't hallucinating.

After an awkward silence, you smiled thoughtfully at Dazai, "Yes, actually. Do you happen to know where a nearby private investigator's office might be?"

Atsushi popped up from behind Dazai, "Oh! We work at one - we can take you there if you'd like!"

"Perfect." You looked at Atsushi and felt a pang of sadness. He didn't deserve the hurt he went through, either. You wished you could help all of them overcome their trauma and become happier. But you knew that would be far too hard for just one person, so you decided to set your sights on Dazai instead.

I'll help you, you thought to yourself, I'll show you there are things to hold on to. Just like you did for me.

Atsushi helped you up and the three of you walked down the streets of Yokohama. It was strange to walk down the streets you'd seen so often in Bungo Stray Dogs. It was even stranger to meet the characters.

Kunikida was the first person you saw in the office. He was furiously typing, undoubtedly making precise and intricately detailed reports.

"Ku~ ni~ ki~ da~" Dazai sang as he danced into the office, "Look what we found!"

"A clue we need to solve our current job?" Kunikida didn't even look up, you could barely see his fingers moving.

"No, but-"

"Then I don't care."

"Agh! You're so cruel. Atsushi, tell him what we found!"

Atsushi jumped, "A-Ah, me? Oh, okay! Dazai and I were searching and we didn't find anything... b-but we found a person!"

"A person who has a vital clue?"

"P-Probably not..."

"An escaped hostage from the people we're tracking?"

"I... ah... I don't think so."

"ANYTHING related to this case?"

"I'm not." You finally spoke up. "But, if you tell me what case you're working on, I can tell you everything you need to know."

Kunikida slowly relaxed into his chair and spun towards you, "And how can we trust you?"

Oh shit. I did not think this far ahead.

"Well- I- ah... I have an ability! I can solve any case and tell you everything you need to know about it!"

"Everything? Anything?" Dazai piped up.

You turned to face him and smiled, "Everything." You repeated kindly.

"E-Even Dazais previous job!?" Atsushi pushed past Dazai and grabbed your shoulders.

You laughed softly, "You really want that reward, huh?"

"How do you know about that?" Kunikida stood up and grabbed his notebook.

"W-Wait!" You raised your hands in the air, "I-It's just my ability! Remember?"

"And what's your ability called?" Kunikida scrutinized.

You looked between Dazai and Atsushi and responded with the first thing that popped into your head, "Stray Dogs."

Dazai stiffened before looking at you with amusement in his eyes. "What a peculiar name." 

With a soft smile, you turned back to Kunikida and cleared your throat, “Is... Is Ranpo here?’

“Hm?” Kunikida turned away from you and checked an itinerary on his desk, “Ranpo will be back in... five minutes.”

You sighed in relief. “Oh, thank goodness. I need to talk to him about... something...”

“My, my.” Dazai laughed in a friendly tone, “I’m almost jealous. Has our boy detective finally landed a partner?” When you turned to him, however, you noticed sinister intent in his eyes. 

He knows. 

"It’s nothing like that, Mr. Detective.” You tried to put on your most convincing smile, “It’s just a silly issue, really.” 

“Ah, please. Call me Dazai. Or,” he lightly grabbed your hand and kneeled in front of you, “join the call of death with me.” His innocent voice juxtaposed his morbid words. 

You squeezed his hand and looked into his eyes, “If you had asked me that not so long ago, I would’ve said yes.”

“Oh!” He exclaimed, dramatically falling to the ground as if he were wounded, “Another lovely potential double-suicide partner taken from me!”

“Get off the ground, idiot.” Kunikida muttered while typing away at his computer. 

“The Great Detective has returned!” An all too comforting voice filled the room. You turned on your heels and saw exactly the person you were waiting for. 

“Detective.” You stepped over Dazai and crossed the room so you were face-to-face with him, “Would you mind assisting me on a case?”

“Assisting?” He scoffed. “I don’t ‘assist’.”

“Then help me. Please.” 

He cracked open his eyes and looked you up and down. “Huh.” Without any warning, he grabbed you by the arm and dragged you towards the elevator while yelling excuses to the confused members of the Agency.

The two of you walked for a few minutes before he sat down on a park bench and patted the spot next to him. You nervously sat down, hoping his intellect would save you the explanation. 

“You can’t do it.” His voice was soft.

“What?”

“We’ve all tried to save him. It’s impossible. Save your time.”

“But- I- I came from a different dimension! If that’s possible, surely so is-”

Ranpo sighed and leaned into the bench, his head resting over the back. “You can’t rewrite The Book.”

“The- how do you know about that?” You looked at him in shock. 

He lazily turned his head and looked at you, “Super Genius Detective, duh.” Ranpo tapped his temple to punctuate his point. 

“Ah... I guess that’s fair. But still. Why can’t I save Dazai? Who wrote that into The Book?”

Ranpo laughed dryly, “Don’t be stupid. Who could have written it in The Book? Who hates Dazai enough to ensure he’ll suffer forever?”

“Chuuya, maybe?” You spoke, deep in thought. “Maybe one of the Hunting Dogs! You... haven’t met them, I don’t think. What case are you working on?”

“The ADA is solving the mystery behind the Azure Bomber.” Ranpo blew a piece of hair out of his face, “But that doesn’t matter to you. C’mon, (Y/N), think about it. Is there anybody in the world who thinks Dazai needs to suffer forever, other than Dazai himself?”

Your blood ran cold. How did he even- no, that doesn’t matter. “It’s useless.” You spoke in a breathy whisper. “It’s all useless.”