#Yeah sorry of course I had to draw the gay men first. I had to. sorry

[anothermonikan]

Fantastic news: Local cute anime girl artist gained an interest which requires her to draw semi-realistic semi-cartoony old men

[prettynice8]

My Bodyguard Pt. 2

Jungkook x male reader

this beautiful king

Stuff: fluff, smut, youre both a bit dumb with feelings, like supes fluffy, bottom reader, top Jungkook, missionary, cuddle fucking, kissing, one bed trope? kind of?

Tw: threat used to propel the romance.

Word count: 3,261

Notes: I'm sooooooooo sorry I haven't written in such a long time, i was swamped with stuff and then had no motivation, but then I got a request, and they asked if I was actually going to write it and that reminded me that I had to get off my ass and feed the public what they want, gay shit about real men I have and never will meet, and of course men who are just drawings.

Jungkook couldn't remember a time where he was more carried away in the beauty of another. He couldn't remember the last time he's felt such things for another, he can't remember because it's never happened before.

He was completely and utterly enamored by you, the way you talked, dressed, laughed, cried, yelled, even the way you ate had his full attention, and you felt no less.

You can't get your mind off of that night when he was staring at you, you knew there was something behind his dark gaze other than just a platonic view. He could have been looking at one of the most beautiful sunsets to ever exist, yet he was looking right at you, almost totally ignoring the sun set... why?

These thoughts have been plaguing your mind ever since, it was like you couldn't think of anything else but him. His dark eyes, his tattoos littered on his left hand, the way his jet-black hair looks all sweaty after a workout, his lip piercing that just looks so kissable, his bright and adorable smile, and most importantly the way he looked at you. You weren't so oblivious that you didn't realize the way he looked at you, the way his eyes were always filled with... something whenever he would gaze upon you. You noticed it every time but didn't say anything about it, not knowing yourself what exactly was, and asking your bodyguard why he looked in such ways at you sounds terribly awkward, something you don't think you have the ability to deal with.

"Hey y/n, are you ok?" Jungkook asked, pulling you out of your daze.

"Oh yeah, I'm totally fine." you replied, it wasn't exactly a lie, it was hard to feel anything negative when around Jungkook, which is so funny. When you first met him, you hated the bastard, but now you can hardly stand to be without him, which makes it convenient since he is your bodyguard after all.

Though saying that you are totally fine is a bit of a lie, since you haven't been able to get him out of your head. It's like he plagued your every thought, but you can't do anything about it. Telling your bodyguard, basically the man that works for you, that you think about him and only him in ways that aren't necessarily platonic may be quite the odd conversation to have, and one that you'd rather just not have.

But little to your knowledge, Jungkook felt the exact same way. Ever since that night he can't get you out of his thoughts, nor his dreams. He was almost dying, having to constantly be around the person that he's done many a sinful thing while he's asleep, and every time he's with you all he thinks about are these dreams, and since he's always with you it makes it quite the conundrum.

"Are you ok? you seem rather flushed." You pointed out, causing Jungkook to snap back into reality, such as you did.

"Ye-" before he can even finish what he was about to say, you see your father bash into the room in distress.

"What's wrong dad?" You asked, understandably worried about his random outburst.

"I have some terrible news. We've been sent a disgusting letter, a threat, placed on this house." He panted out, fear evident on his face.

"Can I read it?" You let out, your father's fear rubbing off on you.

"Absolutely not, it's too vial, downright evil. Though guard, you probably should." He exasperates.

Jungkook takes the note and reads its contents, his face scrunches up in disgust at the letter. It's filled with threats on the family's life, the same family whose heir is the boy he's infatuated with.

"We need to harden security, and I'll have to be around y/n at all times, be in the same room and have him in my sight constantly, even if this is fake, we have to take it with absolute certainty." Jungkook says to your father, taking swift action while also shocking you, as he's never taken his job so seriously in all the time he's been here so far.

You begin to shake in utter terror, never realizing what your title nor what your family meant until now. Jungkook notices your erratic shaking and attempts to calm you down, holding you tightly against his chest.

Though the terror of the situation still lingers in the air, it is quickly dimmed by Jungkook's touch. He holds you so tightly to his chest that you can hear and feel his heartbeat, which is beating like crazy, understandably.

This is the first time he's touched you in such a manner and it feels great. The threat is so quickly a thing of the past, after all you have gotten them before, nothing as bad as that but being so rich that you're in the public eye definitely has its drawbacks, but all of that seems so silly when you're in Jungkook's arms.

Though you've gotten the worst threat ever, you've never felt more secure in his arms. He continues to hold you tight, even after the shaking has stopped. Jungkook realizes that he's still holding you and he doesn't stop, also enjoying having you in his arms.

He lets go, leaving you disappointed, but that emotion is quickly covered up when he cups you face in his hands, forcing you to look into his eyes. Eyes that are already usually filled with adoration for you, are now filled with genuine care and worry.

"It's okay, I'm here, and I'd sooner die than let anything hurt you." He stated, leaving any worry or fear left in you to be completely squandered.

You continue to look into his eyes which can only be described as way longer than platonic. You match his determined and caring gaze with your longing one, practically getting lost into the infinity of his orbs. The view was far better than any sunset, better than anything up until this very moment. For the first time in the short time you two have known each other you finally know what's going on behind those orbs.

You finally know how he feels about you. With the way he was holding you, and now how his hands gently hold your face, it's clear that he cares about you more than any mere platonic affection, but should you confront him about your findings, or leave it be.

Jungkook, much to your dismay, pulls away from you, his touch leaving you as well, which feels like a devastating loss. You feel so much for him that a possible threat on your life is diminished just from his touch.

Jungkook noticed your gaze and had to pull away, for your father was still right there and he doesn't know what he might do if you looked at him like that any longer.

"Are you ok now?" He asked, genuinely worried about you.

"Yeah, I'm fine, thanks to you." You responded, not missing the fact that Jungkook's face erupted in blush after you said that. Jungkook is gracious yet surprised that you seem okay, though he assumed that you must have faced multiple of these. This assumption causes him to feel even more guilty about his first impression of you.

"Th-that's good." He said, before realizing that your father has left the room, Jungkook was too caught up in the wonder of you that your father's absence went completely unnoticed. Which brings him to remember all the times he forgot that people were around other than just the two of you. It's a mansion full of servants and helpers, yet he's never noticed them. He's always only noticed your over encompassing presence.

Later that night when you get ready for bed with Jungkook, he insists on getting ready with you so that no one may attack you. You realize that he chooses to sleep shirtless, opting to wear nothing but red plaid pajama pants. You try to look away, you really do, but his muscled biceps, rippling abs, and glorious pecs are just too damn attention catching, it's his fault really.

"Well, night." You said quickly, trying to just go to sleep so you don't have to ogle at him any longer. You almost make your way out of the bathroom until you're stopped by your one and only, Jungkook.

"And where do you think you're going mister?" He asked you playfully.

"Uhm... to bed." You answered, confused as to why he asked that question.

"Not without me you're not." He stated matter of factly, acting as though you should have already known this, and your face erupting in blush does not go unnoticed by him, causing him to chuckle and smirk at you with that damn charming grin.

"Wh-what?" You stuttered.

"You heard me. I can't take any chances with you so I'm going to be sleeping with you." He answered plainly, though his confident facade did shake a little after he realized his poor word choice.

"But..." You tried to deflect but the words got caught in your throat. You can't believe that the same man whom you've had many wet dreams about is actually going to be sleeping in the same room as you. This is absolutely fucking insane.

"No buts, I care far too much about you to take any risks." Jungkook said casually, done talking about it and leading you into your own room, and he of course follows closely after. 

You stop any kind of arguing, partly because you know it's useless but also because of what he said, he actually said he cared about you. Obviously, you knew this already, but to actually hear him say that is something else entirely. You were in awe at the statement, but the reality of the situation came flooding back in as you lay in your bed, and Jungkook didn't just mean sleeping in the same room, HE MEANT THE SAME BED!

The reality of the situation being that the man you're completely obsessed with is laying right next to you, half naked, this is literally the plot to one of your many wet dreams you've had of this man. It's like a dream come true, but also a nightmare.

Your nerves are off the charts, shaking erratically at the prospect of him actually sleeping next to you. You intentionally face your body away from his, since if you could see his face so close you'd probably faint. Jungkook notices your erratic shaking, since he's in the same fucking bed as you. He quickly springs into action, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling your back to his chest.

"Still scared about the note." He said, not even asking thinks that must be the answer, why else would you be shaking so much, it's not like the man of your dreams is in the same bed as you, shirtless.

"Y-yeah, the note, that's what it is." You lied, since the truth would be far too difficult to come out and speak. Now could you just tell him how you feel, probably, He almost definitely feels the same way, and you do really want to be with him, but it would all be too hard. You're a rich heiress to one of the biggest fortunes in the country, and he's your bodyguard, basically your employee, it wouldn't work between you too... right?

"It's okay, I promise not to let anything bad happen to you, I don't know what I'd do if something were to happen to you." He said, trying to calm you down, going as far as to rub his hand on your side, even pulling your shirt up and touching skin. He's just trying to calm you down, why else would he be running his hand along your bare side.

Okay, you have to tell him how you feel. Just by the way he says that is enough to make your heart melt, and you're already getting hard at his touch, you breath catching as he runs his hand along your side. Your breath shakes at the skin-on-skin contact. You know you can't keep it in any longer, you can't, you have to say how you feel now. Declare your lo-

"I love you y/n." He declared, not quite out of nowhere, but certainly not from somewhere either. He said it so casually, it practically rolled off his tongue like it was the most normal thing to say to someone, like saying hello, you still notice the tenderness in how he said it. Even though he said it so casually, it's still obvious that he meant what he said. You can feel it in your soul that he really does, well, love you.

You turn around so you can see him face to face, resting your hand on his cheek and looking into his stunning eyes, "Thank god you said it first." You said, grateful that at least one of you finally declared what was so obvious.

He chuckles at your statement and continues to rub your bare side, his other coming up to hold your chin. "Does that mean..."

"It means that of course I feel the same way as Jungkook. Fuck I've loved you for so long now, it was torture to keep it in." You finally declared your own love for him.

"Then why did you?" He asked.

"I didn't hear confessions from you either." You stated, pointing out the irony of his statement.

"Fuck, that's fair." That's all he says before finally laying his lips on yours.

The kiss is delicate, practically just being a long-lasting peck, but it finally becomes a kiss when he brings in the presence of tongue. Even after he lets his tongue in your mouth, it stays delicate, until it doesn't.

The kiss becomes passionate, his tongue swirling with your own as his hands go to grip your ass tightly, pulling you closer to him as he rubs his ever-present erection with your own. You moan into the kiss which only makes him dive his tongue deeper down your mouth, exploring every millimeter of it with said tongue.

You still can't believe that this is actually happening, but if this is a dream then it better not stop. Though he's gripping your ass so tightly that if it was a dream you would have woken up already.

The kiss is fucking great but dear god do you need more than just his tongue. He senses your restlessness and acts accordingly by dividing his finger in your ass.

His finger intrudes you so quickly you can't help but moan. In fact, you moan so much that you end up breaking the kiss. Jungkook takes no mind as he just tries to pleasure you more, pumping his finger in quickly so he can get you ready for the thing that really matters.

You moan from pleasure and take it upon yourself to return the favor, taking his big cock out of his pants and into your hand. Jungkook groans at the sudden touch and happily accepts it. You quickly match the pace of your hand pumping his cock with the pace of his finger.

Jungkook then fits another one inside you, causing you to grip his dick harder for some kind of leverage, making Jungkook let out another grunt from his lips.

Jungkook pumps his two fingers in and of you more, now being knuckles deep inside and intruding easily, which lets Jungkook know that you're probably ready for the real thing.

he takes his fingers out of your hole and quickly takes his clothes off, that bodyguard training being very useful since he did it all very speedily.

He fully takes off his own pants, opens your legs for better entrance, and then rubs his cock against your rim, letting out many a moan from your lips, but that's pussy shit to what's about to come.

"You ready?" He asked, voice lustful, but he also genuinely wants you to enjoy this just as much as he will.

"Born ready." You cheekily answered, ready to make love with the man you love.

"If I ever go to fast or-"

"Fuck Love please fuck me!" You accidently yell out, Jungkook only responds with a chuckle and kisses your forehead.

"You asked for it." He said, putting his lips on yours again before finally plunging his cock into you.

He starts off by just putting in bit by bit, not wanting to hurt you or go too fast, since he was so big. You're not exactly complaining, though you want to get plowed by him you're also aware that it would hurt in ways that's not even worth it if he started going so fast now, so you settle with passionately making out with him while he slowly but surely fills your hole.

After what feels like forever, he finally bottoms out, he stays still for a bit, kissing you in hopes of distracting you from the gut splitting cock currently inside of you, before eventually moving.

His thrusts start off slow and waiting, as to now break you so soon into the relationship. He's a master at taking his time, which you kind of love, with every thrust you know he cares about you enough to at least let you walk a little next morning, but these thoughts are quickly beaten out of you with the beating his dick soon does on your ass.

Though you can still feel love in every thrust, you can tell he really loves you since he starts thrusting into you like crazy, totally filling your ass again and again with his cock.

Your moans fill the room and his grunts echo through the walls, the entire mansion is probably awake and listening to the two of you making sweet love, but neither of you care. You're both used to zoning others out and just focusing on each other, especially in Jungkook's case.

He lays his forehead against yours and looks into your eyes the entire time, though his cock is splitting you open, he still wants you to know that this is an act of love, which is why his arms are completely wrapped around your waist, holding you impossibly close.

The closeness of your bodies can't hold a candle to the closeness you feel emotionally with him, but it does help. You've never felt so connected with another person and probably will never feel so close. The way he deeply kisses you mixed with the way he's holding you, and of course the fact that he's literally physically inside of you is a big part of why the moment feels so special.

After a few more thrusts you moan ear splittingly loud as you cum all over his chest, finally feeling release.

"Can I?" He asked like the sweetheart he is, in which you immediately, to fuc- I mean loved out to speak. He smiles and grunts loudly as well, not at all as loud as you but who's counting, as he too reaches climax, filling your asshole with his hot cum.

He stays inside of you, not having to move much since you both are practically already cuddling.

And that's how you both stay, Jungkook buried inside of you while holding you tightly close to him, your head resting on his muscular chest.

"I love you y/n." He declared, holding you even closer.

"I love you too, Jungkook." You declared right back, "I'm beyond ecstatic that my soulmate is also my bodyguard."

THE END

final thoughts: tell me if you got the kiss is when there's tongue reference.

[menlove]

last year i took a college course about the history of american ballet, and in one of our assigned readings, half of a chapter was dedicated to speculating about whether or not leonard berstein and jerome robbins ever banged while collaborating on fancy free (basically the ballet that was adapted into the musical on the town, it was their first collaboration). and the evidence was like 1) the ballet opens with a jazz number whose original lyrics are Unequivocally Gay (which isn't that notable in and of itself because A LOT of jazz/blues songs are very gay, but the speculation was that it was a coded torch song from lenny to jerry), 2) a cryptic diary entry in which robbins refers to incompatible sex with a mysterious "B," and 3) another diary entry in which jerry recounts that he stayed the night at lenny's place, working late and talking about the deep stuff until 5 AM. ...and that's it. and i remember thinking, wow, this is really weaksauce evidence in comparison to whatever the hell mclennon had going on. Mind you, it's widely accepted that both berstein and robbins were queer men who had multiple affairs with other men, so that kind of opens the door and grants more credibility to this type of discussion in the first place.

But that was like a big game changer for me in terms of rpf-trutherism because people often say that it's rude/invasive/disrespectful to speculate about real people's sexualities, and i was just sitting there like... okay then explain to me why it was okay for someone to publish all that in a biography that I was assigned to read in an academic context at an ivy league school, explain to me how that is somehow an unworthy topic of academic consideration. or is this speculation only a problem when the presence of queer artists disrupts myths of hegemonic masculinity in presumed hyper-hetero artistic spaces? Is it only a problem because it dispels the idea that queerness is somehow peculiar and peripheral?

I took a different class about gender and jazz music, and in that case, the answer is a resounding yes. For example, there was reactionary backlash to Duke Ellington's son Mercer suggesting that his father may have been involved with Billy Strayhorn, his openly gay collaborator of thirty years. In jazz music, the myth of the "macho"-hetero jazzman with an insatiable appetite for women has been utilized to deflect any inklings of homosexuality, and i would argue the same can be said of rock music. Again, not saying any of these things Definitively Happened, but people's unwillingness to consider the possibility or the notion that this kind of speculation is beneath serious consideration or irrelevant to discussion of creative collaborations is just so narrow-minded to me. sorry for the gay jazz lore infodump, but i just had to get that off my chest.

YES ALL OF THIS JESUS FUCK.....

"or is this speculation only a problem when the presence of queer artists disrupts myths of hegemonic masculinity in presumed hyper-hetero artistic spaces? Is it only a problem because it dispels the idea that queerness is somehow peculiar and peripheral?" this part especially!!!

and like. I get it okay I understand that in fandom spaces at first glance it seems very silly like. yeah okay we're talking about the fucking beatles here. the guys that did a song about a serial killer who killed people with hammers and an octopus with a garden. it seems fucking silly. and ofc people are going to think it's just like. wistful thinking bc many of us are out here writing fanfiction and drawing fanart

but the thing is, when you step into queer, historical academic settings you talk about this shit AAAAAALL THE TIIIIIIME. like I go back to my class w the section on reading the silences! it's literally exactly what queer historians do! because with how homophobic society has been for so fucking long, you're not Going to find it super easy to definitively say "yes xyz historical figure was queer and here's exactly how and here's a quote of them saying they fuck people of the same gender" like that's just not realistic. so instead you DO have to read between the lines. you have to gather up all these sources and put them together and look at the shadow they cast on the wall and go "okay, given what we know about this person, queer people, society at the time, and psychology, what do you think the person casting this shadow Looks Like?"

and yeah, it's not 100%. I can't DEFINITIVELY claim that paul mccartney fucked john lennon lmao. but it's just like. honestly insulting that it's treated as something silly and beneath serious consideration. and there's of Course a fucking aspect of misogyny to it, bc any time the theory is brought up in larger beatles fan spaces, ofc they go on and on about how it's "fangirls" suggesting it. and yet when popular male authors suggest it, they do Not get as much flack. it's ridiculous. and I get that it's different, I do, and again the fandom aspect is Not helping us out, but it's just...... idk

I've like honest to god seen more well researched posts on mclennon than I've seen on some queer historical academic topics that WERE taken seriously. and that's not universal, obviously, I have plenty of beef w how little this fandom likes to source & how we just pass around completely made up quotes/facts w out question but like. there's an overwhelming amount of fans who could quite literally and genuinely write biographies with insanely researched backgrounds on this. but it's not taken seriously bc it's a fan space, bc it's an overwhelmingly female space, and bc suggesting that two of the most famous rock musicians of all time were queer is just too much of a disruption to the status quo

bc even queer people themselves fall into this without realizing it. like yeah, okay, you hate the beatles. that's fine. you're edgy, you got your cool points, whatever. but WHY is it so bizarre and silly to you to think that they may have been queer? queer people can suck too. why isn't it that silly to call them straight? it just goes back to this idea of cisheterosexuality being the default and anything outside of that is so Abnormal and Rare that no one could possibly be queer and complex. no one could be queer if they haven't gone out to a parade with a gay flag and a shirt that says "I suck dick" and even then people would argue about it (hello "sword swallower" pin lol).

loooong way to say I agree and ur so fucking correct and as an academic who's also a fucking beatles rpf truther I'm Tired

[oh-look-another]

hi guys do y’all wanna see my rant to my friend bc she posted smth on her status that talked abt hyperfixations and i couldn’t fight the urge to reply? no? welp too bad

(under the cut bc it’s damn long wish i cld write that much for my monday exam)

like wdym you don’t know that in the very very old myths about sirens they were described as having the lower half of a bird and the wings of said bird and they weren’t even found in water at all they could be found literally anywhere in the world and they sang about your deepest desires not just sex so asexuals (me) wouldn’t be exempted from their seduction but over time they got merged with mermaids and now all the depictions of sirens are just hot girls with tails ad singing about sex like they were seducing sailors do you think anyone who‘s stuck on a boat wouldn’t have sex and gay themselves also the odyssey was where the sirens were first mentioned and ody asked what was left of his crew to tie him up to the mast (also the reason one of the artists who draw ody/jesus (this isn’t a ship okay it’s just that wolfy draws them like not together separately of course) didn’t want to draw that one specific part in the odyssey was because we would ‘get horny in the tags’ so yeah) and the rest of the crew has earplugs in and ody wanted to know what the sirens were saying (if you think this is the plot of som it is bc each of the books in the pjo is based on a greek myth which is so cool but i kinda wish that there could be like a pjo x orpheus and eurydice book like the plot of the book based on that myth bc it’s so tragic he looked back too early he missed her she’s a hungry young girl no stranger to the world and he’s working on a song and when it’s done spring will come again) so that’s the reason of that and the sirens were actually singing about him reuniting with his wife and son back in ithica and the only reason why ody was in this mess in the first place was because he fucking revealed his name to polyphemus like buddy you had a good cover i get polites died i get that you’re grieving but this is no time to anger the cyclops reminder that it wouldn’t have happened if you just killed him like athena said so poseidon wouldn’t have left you with forty-six men from your six hundred men not including the twelve that the cyclops killed and i would say that ody deserves it but the butterfly effect is getting a little too big don’t you think like at least epic!ody doesn’t get seduced by circe but calypso is still there at least he tries to be loyal and you know when ody was killing the suitors it’s very dramatic but also he’s naked which is kinda weird like are you trying to turn the suitors gay before you kill them but okay and also circe i love her so much yes she’s done a lot of wrong things but she’s so hot like epic!circe’s voice is so good also hermes is amazing his voice is so good and all the ruthlessness animatics right yeah all of them show poseidon bullying ody which is sad but like that isn’t even the half of it ody i’m sorry also they named the moon rover yk after ody like why are y’all condemning the man to even more places that is very clearly not ithica like come on it’s been more than centuries let the poor man rest with his wife and son in peace also if you edit like i know you don’t but [name redacted for privacy] does i’ll recommend this to her later maybe but i know she was complaining about tiktok audios getting muted but maybe uh try scrounging in the depth of musicals because so many of them have so much potential to be edit audios like i know one from heathers which isn’t really an edit audio or anything but it’s just a bunch of teenagers going ‘holy shit’ like twenty times in the background you should check it out

hey guys look it starts with sirens and ends with heathers the musical!! they’re kinda similar tho bc both have themes of murder

[sirens-grotto]

TW

Alcohol, nudity, swearing

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This one is light hearted and I'm gonna draw it soon. My sof gay bois.

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Scene

Late night in the Cloudbank Inn. A few patrons still linger. Minnie cleans tables. Lyza and Cian sit close together in a corner, remnants of a late dinner and drinks in front of them. They're laughing together.

Cian (taking a swig from his mug): No! I swear it's true! He had me, dead to rights, on the ground with a sword to my chest making all the usual threats 'give us the gold blah blah blah'-

Lyza (interjecting with a sarcastic chuckle): Because every Druid of Elen is filthy loaded with Her secret treasure.

Cian (equally sarcastic): Right. Anyway. (He drinks again) So. I'm pinned. He's demanding. And out of absolutely nowhere! A flock of geese pass overhead and they collectively shat! All. Over. Him. And only him! 

Lyza (giggling): That's disgusting! And impossible! You didn't get any on you at all?

Cian (Incredulous and throwing his arms open wide): Not a drip! And everyone froze and stared at him for what felt like ages before I just couldn't help it. It was disgusting and also absurd to such a point, I forgot my life was in danger! 

Lyza (gasping): You laughed at the man about to run you through?!

Cian: I did! And I didn't just laugh, I sounded like a donkey choking on a sponge! Just side splitting, roaring, hard to breathe laughter. And after a minute, all his men were laughing with me!

Lyza (taking a drink): Oh I bet he didn't like that.

Cian: Not at all. Turned beetroot red and ran off without a word. I took the opportunity to slink off in the other direction back to warn the shrine. They never did come though. 

Lyza (putting a hand on Cian's shoulder): I'm glad it turned out that way though. Could have been much worse. 

Cian (finishing off his mug and setting is down): Mm. I'm glad it turned out that way too. Come the spring, I saw him working in the O'Regan's orchards. Ran right up to me and said- and I'll never forget this til the day I die- he says (Cian giggles) "Thank you for telling those birds to shit on me."

Both Cian and Lyza laugh hard.

Cian (steadying his breathing and taking a slightly sad tone): Turns out, he's a widower with two small children and thought that was his only option to feed them. The O'Regans found him scavenging rotten fruit- still covered in bird shit!- and offered to put him and his family up in exchange for the extra help in the spring. Of course (Cian smiles wide and giggles again) I didn't have the heart to tell him I had absolutely nothing to do with that. So yeah I'm now feared by bandits as the one that makes birds shit on people.

Minnie (Approching with a dishpan): I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't heard it for myself. (She clears the dishes) Hate to chase you boys out, but some of us actually want to get to bed before dawn. 

Cian (helping stack them in the tray): Do you want me to–

Minnie (jerking is away from him and walking off): Nope. You just take care of your guest. 

Cian chuckles awkwardly, still standing. Lyza gathers his cloak and staff.

Lyza (standing): We, uh, could keep talking upstairs? Zurgri insisted we spend extra for separate rooms for… for some reason… so… (he gestures to the staircase)

Cian (flushed, stutters): Y-yeah sure. I mean. If you're uh, not too tired or something…. 

Lyza smiles nervously, leading Cian up the stairs. Cian watches Lyza's tail twitch, resisting the urge to touch it. They stop at a door not far from the stairs. 

Lyza (fumbling with the key): S-sorry… must have drank a-a bit much…. 

Lyza opens the door, gesturing for Cian to enter first. Cian steps half into the room, pausing to gently touch Lyza's face, almost to pull him in. Lyza's breath catches. He walks after Cian, quickly shutting the door. Cian brushes Lyza's cheek with his thumb, other hand resting on his shoulder. He takes a moment to look into Lyza's green eyes for permission, then leans in to kiss him. Lyza drops his things and puts his hands on Cian's biceps to pull him closer and reciprocates, allowing himself to be led away from the door. As Cian removes his leather vest, Lyza runs his hands down the back of the cotton shirt underneath it. Cian reaches for the hem of Lyza's shirt.

Lyza (grabbing Cian's arm, panicked): No! (He's shaking, looking up at Cian) I'm not… I can't…

Cian (smiling gently and pulling his hand away): Okay. (He kisses Lyza's forehead, picks up his leather, and steps to leave)

Lyza (voice breaking): Wait! (He takes a shaky breath) wait, please….

Cian turns back around with a soft expression. Lyza strips off his shirt with his eyes closed, crossing his arms in front of him, then turns slightly to reveal a scar across the side of his ribs and around to his back. Cian puts one hand on a still-shaking Lyza's waist, examining what he knows from experience to have been a very painful wound. He traces the trajectory, recognizing how close to deadly the injury almost was. Cian recalls Lyza telling him years prior when they first met about being the only survivor of a massacre, but refusing to speak about any details of the event.

Cian (other hand gently stroking the scar): ….you aren't hesitant about the way it looks, are you? 

Lyza (strained): No.

Cian: Do you want to tell me about it?

Lyza: No.

Cian (pulling Lyza into an embrace): Then I won't ask. But (he kisses Lyza's neck) if you ever do want to tell me, I want to listen. 

Lyza embraces back, letting out a few quiet sobs into Cian's shoulder. 

Cian (whispering): Do you want me to stay with you?

Lyza (squeezing Cian): Yes, please.

[mrs-johansson]

With fire and blood - Chapter 1: Iron Man II - Dreaming of you

Part 10:

*Y/N’s POV*

“Good morning!” I walked into the building, greeting Samantha at the front desk. “Good morning, Ms. Stark!” A genuine smile across her face as I passed by, right to the elevator.

My new assistant arrives today and I’m very relieved, to say the least. He went to Harvard and his resume seems quite impressive.

Walking down the long hallway, my heels clicked on the marble floor. So while going through my phone I accidentally bumped into someone. “Oh, I’m sorry.” I looked up to see a man in army uniform. I glanced down to his shoulder to search for his rank, Sergeant.

“That’s alright. You would think a beautiful lady like you would be less addicted to her phone, now would you? Or maybe in a rush?” He asked with a smile. His face was probably the perfect shape if there’s a perfect shape. His sharp jaw, sparkly brown eyes, just the right amount of beard, and the award-winning smile. I’m sure he’s a ladies’ man. “Not yet. May I ask what you are doing at the office department?” I asked in my most polite voice. A witty smirk spread across his face, nodding slightly. “Ah, yeah. Well, I’m here for a meeting. The army is planning on purchasing a big amount of weapons from Stark.” Ah so he’s with them. “The meeting rooms are not on this floor.” I stated, hoping he would leave in a couple seconds. “Oh I know, just wanted to look around. Big building, a lot to see.” He looked around then back at me. I straightened my posture, clearing my throat. “Can I help you with something Sergeant…” “Brook.” He completed my sentence. “Sergeant Brook, of course. Unless you need help with anything, I have to ask you to leave the office department. It’s employees only,” I gave him a fake smile. The moment he stepped closer, my eyebrows raised. “You know, to an assistant, you’re pretty confident.” An assistant? Bitch what? No offense, but I don’t look like one.

A dry chuckle left my throat, glancing away. “Leave the department or I’ll remove you myself,” I smiled up at him. His smirk just widened and I wanted to punch him right there. “Fierce I see… Alright, I’ll leave. It was nice to see you Miss,” he bowed with his hat and walked past me, his shoulder slightly brushing against mine.

“Goddamn men…” I let out a sigh, continuing my journey to my office.

Through the glass windows I could see my new assistant already waiting for me there. Quickly entering the room, drawing his attention to me. “Good Morning! Excuse me for being late, I bumped into an unfortunate… person.” I smiled at the young man in front of me, who was on his feet by then. He had his hair flipped back perfectly, the suit he was wearing was very fashionable, it might’ve been Burberry or Dolce & Gabbana. He was nothing like an assistant. “That’s totally fine.” He held his hand out for a handshake. “Nice to finally meet you Ms. Stark.” His hold was confident and light at the same time. “The pleasure is all mine, Mr. Fox. Y/N is fine, usually my dad is the one who uses the name Stark.” I smiled, letting his hand go. “Please take a seat,” I motioned towards the chair he was previously sitting on.

“I hope you know how lucky you are to be picked out. Ms. Potts has a very specific taste in assistants. But I’m very happy to welcome you to the company at first.” “Yes, thank you. It’s an honor, not gonna lie. Stark Industries has been a very great example for the nation and I’m happy to be here.” He said enthusiastically. “I’m glad. Have you gotten the office tour? Was there anyone who showed you around?” I asked, looking at the new files at my desk that I hadn't seen yesterday. “Yes, I have. Ms. Potts personally showed me around. Very lovely woman,” he said with a smile.

His legs were crossed, his back straight and he looked confident. My gay radar says he is somewhat not straight, and if I’m right I’ll be the happiest person. I don’t need more men around me who can’t keep their things in their pants. “Can I call you Liam?” I lifted my head, pushing the papers aside. “Of course, Mr sounds way too serious.” He said with a half smile. “Fantastic. Tell me about why you applied for this job? I know the company can be very controversial.” I leaned on my arms which were on the table.

“As I said the company is way more helpful to society than unobliging. I think this kind of technology is the future of our world. Also, you’re a smart woman, I want to learn. Whether from you or others at the company. I’m looking for improvement.” He explained and I nodded. “You have a great thinking, Liam. What are your hobbies? What do you like to do in your free time?” I smiled. “I love broadway. My friends and I always go and see something. But I like to go to the gym or shopping. Stuff like that,” of he’s definitely gay. “Amazing. I think we’re gonna work well together. Don’t be afraid to ask, I’m here to help with new things. As we go further, you’ll meet the important people around here and you’ll be familiar with everything.” I stood up, grabbing my bag. “If I’m right, you’ve got today’s schedule so why don’t we start our day?”

“Yes, I have it.” He popped up, grabbing his briefcase and picked up the tablet from the chair next to him. “We have a meeting with a couple Military representatives in,” he looked down at his watch. “20 minutes.” He looked at me. “Perfect, just in time.”

Making our way down to the meeting room, I told him a couple things about myself, like my coffee order or how often do I work from the office, things like that. Liam seems like a genuinely interested person, and he’s willing to work. Sadly it’s hard to find someone like that.

“While meetings, you only speak when I ask, not because you’re stupid or your word is not worthy, it’s because the costumers can be very harsh and unreliable, so it’s better not to. You have to take notes, keep up with the conversation. I need you to listen closely. You’re my right hand, I need you to be at your best during these important meetings.” I explained, reaching the meeting room. I could already see the representatives sitting in the room with a couple of ours’.

“You’re the only woman,” Liam said with surprise in his voice. “Get used to it Fox,” I gave him a smirk, letting him enter the office first.

“Good morning, gentlemen!” I spoke and all the heads turned my way. “Y/N? I thought Pepper’s going to be the presenter?” Rhodey stood up, bringing me in a hug. “We split the meetings. And I got today’s so,” I smiled at him and we both took our seats.

“Who do you have with you today Rhodes?” I looked at him. “Right,” he started to name the men beside him and when he got to Brook, I leaned back with a satisfied smirk. “And Sergeant Brook, it’s his first meeting.” He said and I nodded. “Fantastic, I’m Y/N Stark, Co-owner of Stark Industries, in case you didn’t know,” I dedicated the speech to Sergeant Brook, just in case he was still in the dark. “Shall we start?” I put my hands together, turning back to Rhodey, who nodded.

*2 hours later*

We’ve been in this goddamn room for hours and this motherfucker Brook kept interrupting me. He cannot shut up and he’s stupid. “I advise us to take a break. Have lunch and come back to the subject.” I closed my laptop. “Shouldn’t we continue? I think we could work something out-“ “Lunch it is!” I said, standing up. “See you at 2 pm.” And with that Liam and I walked out of the office.

“You should grab lunch. I’ll be good alone today,” I smiled at him as we reached my office. “Are you sure? I can order something for you,” he offered. With a hand on his shoulder, I smiled. “Take a break,” a couple seconds later he left and I opened my office door.

“Fucking hell…” I let out a sigh as I leaned against the wooden door with my eyes closed. “Hard day?” The raspy voice spoke, making me jump. “Oh my goodness!” I opened my eyes to see Natasha leaning against my desk, with her arms crossed. “Nat you can’t scare me like that…” I pouted, walking closer to her. “Didn’t mean to,” she said with that sweet smile of hers. “What are you doing here anyways? Not that I mind…” I grabbed her hand and intertwined our fingers. “I brought you lunch. You don’t eat if someone doesn’t put food in front of you.” She said and my heart melted. “Why are you the sweetest?” I gave a lingering kiss to her cheek, before she pulled me back for a real one.

Once I smiled she pulled away and a small smile was noticeable on her face. “You staying for lunch, right?” I asked, walking behind my desk and making some space for the food. “I could.”

“So, how’s your day so far?” Natasha asked as we were eating. “Ugh, so boring. Delegates are here from the army for a big order and they are just so difficult to deal with. Rhodey is here too, which makes it a bit easier. But still… They’re just so big on themselves you know,” I said. “I’m sure you can deal with them. You’re a businesswoman, and a Stark you can handle these situation very well.” She said, making me look up at her. “You just came here to make my day better, haven’t you Romanoff?” I smiled and she chuckled lightly. “I’m trying my best.”

“And you? What have you been up to?” “Just some paperwork, nothing interesting.” She said. “When you have company, paperwork is fun.” “Well I was alone, so I hope you can imagine how much I suffered.” She said with a slight smirk. “Oh you poor thing,” I pouted sarcastically.

2 hours just flew by way too quickly to my bad luck. I was so happy Nat stopped by, she really just gave me a break from the shit show downstairs. I grabbed a few files for the meeting and we made our way to the room. Natasha was kind enough to walk me there.

“Thank you for lunch again. It was nice,” I said, brushing my fingers against her as our hands touched while walking. “You’re very much welcome.” Just as she said that, I saw Brook coming our way.

I quickly looked back at Natasha, standing in front of her. She frowned and stopped. “What’s wrong?” Her concerned voice was kinda cute. “Kiss me,” I said, hoping she would do it. “Here? Aren’t you-“ “He’s been on my ass since this morning. So, would you kindly kiss me before he gets here?” I asked in a bit harsher tone, not even as a question to be honest.

“Ms. Stark?” Heard his voice but before I could react, the redhead’s hands grabbed me by the waist and pulled me close. Heat rose from my stomach to my chest. Nat’s lips were getting closer and my heart decided to skip a beat, the smell of her hypnotic beyond reason. I parted my lips and felt her washing over like a wave of warmth, unfurling all my senses as the taste of her nearly silenced all my thoughts.

My whole body tingled, the feel of her holding me as her arms wrapped around me felt nearly forbidden. Natasha pulled me back in, claiming my mouth again, hungry and intense, until my knees gave in. By the time I became aware of my fingers, they had already slipped under her shirt, her skin smooth and radiating heat.

As if time had stopped right there, as we stood in front of the meeting room, glued to one another. As if no one else existed and there was no risk of someone we knew seeing us.

“I’ll see you tonight,” Natasha said, bringing me back from that quick dream. “I’ll pick you up at 7:30.” I said just above a whisper like I could barely talk.

She brushed a piece of hair behind my ear and with one last kiss she walked off.

I let out a satisfied sigh and turned back around, to see Brook standing there like he saw a ghost. “Shall we continue?” I asked with a smirk and walked past him, slightly brushing my shoulder with his.

*******************************************************

It’s been a while, sorry. This is more like a filling part, but I think it ads to the story also. Always happy for feedback🤍

[1dmonthlyficroundup]

1D Monthly Fic Roundup

Hi, and welcome to the 1D Monthly Fic Roundup for August 2021! Below you’ll find 23 One Direction fics that were all published this month in the order they were submitted to the blog. We hope you’ll check out these new fics! If you would like to submit your own fic, please check this post on how to submit or visit our blog @1dmonthlyficroundup​.

Happy reading!

He Carries The Key by @lululawrence

[Niall/Louis, OT5, 8k, Not Rated, tumblr post]

Niall was mostly home, ready for a shower and a chat with Louis, when suddenly Niall was flooded with emotions from the pack bond.Shock. Surprise. Confusion.But mostly fear.Something was wrong with Louis.

Plus One by mynameispiaivy / @missrefridgefreetorator

[Louis/Luke Malak, 3k, Mature, tumblr post]

Louis is invited to an event and he has to bring a "plus one".

Better Mistakes by lovelarry10 / @chloehl10

[Harry/Louis, 117k, Explicit, tumblr post]

“Look, this doesn’t have to be the end of the world-”

“Oh but it fucking is,” Louis said, shaking his head. “How the fuck am I going to tell Matt I’m pregnant with a baby when we’ve not had sex in months? He might be a bit thick sometimes, but he is gonna know there’s no chance this baby is his.”

“You don’t have to, uh, tell him it’s mine, right?”

Louis scoffed. “Why, are you scared he’s gonna come and kick the shit out of you?”

“He wishes,” Harry laughed, looking back down at the test. “Shit, I … I can’t believe this. Louis, I didn’t mean for this. Honestly. It was just sex for me. We have great sex, and I didn’t see why I should have to turn that down, not when you clearly wanted it as much as I did. I didn’t want this to end in a baby.”

Louis knows he shouldn’t be sleeping with his boyfriend’s enemy. He knows that. But there’s something that draws him back to Harry over and over again. Falling in love wasn’t part of the plan...

Thou, Sun, Art Half As Happy by @lululawrence

[Louis/Harry/Nick Grimshaw, 7k, Not Rated, tumblr post]

Hello, I’m sorry if this isn’t a post that is allowed on this channel, but I was hoping for the best since it is regarding a photography project I’m working on at the moment. I’m working on a set of sunrise kiss photos and therefore am needing a willing kissing partner. I’d hoped to be able to provide one for myself, but it hasn’t panned out, so here I am! I was hoping to find someone here, since I know most of you (at least peripherally) and can generally vouch for you not being creeps. Plus this way I know you will understand needing to continue to tweak the camera settings and reshoots etc that others might not.

Anyway, I’m looking for someone who identifies as male or male-ish (sorry, ladies) who is between the ages of 18 and 40. I’m a 29 year old male-ish myself, for those who would like to know before replying.

If you’re interested and are free the early morning of August 7th and would like to kiss in the sunrise with me for the sake of some (hopefully) interesting and fun photos, let me know via DM and I’ll give you the location.

OR the one where Louis needs a kissing partner, two show up, and it all might turn out for the best that way.

call my name and save me from the dark by @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed / we_are_the_same

[Louis/Harry, 4k, Teen & Up, tumblr post]

“I don’t know if it was a nightmare,” he confesses to the ceiling, the darkness making it easier to speak up even when he still has to close his eyes to stop himself from tearing up. “It feels more like a memory. But it can’t be.”

Harry shifts, and Louis can feel his chin perched on his chest, doesn’t need to look at him to know that Harry’s studying him. “Why?” He prompts, when Louis doesn’t immediately continue, and Louis swallows, tries to shrug off the apprehension, the fear that Harry will think that he’s gone mad.

“Because I heard them pronounce me dead.”

Feels like home by @neondiamond

[Louis/Harry, 2k, Explicit, tumblr post]

Louis comes home from work with an exciting surprise. Daydreaming and celebrations ensue.

this is my jam by @disgruntledkittenface

[Harry/Louis, 4k, Mature, tumblr post]

The guy’s eyes are so blue that Harry can’t tear his gaze away, even as he moves to the beat. The searing light shade is magnetic; he finds himself leaning in and yelling, “This is my jam!” only to earn a laugh from thin pink lips that Harry’s definitely going to be dreaming about tonight.

“Your jam?”

When the guy yells back over the music, his blue eyes sparkling and his lips twisted in a smirk, Harry’s chest literally puffs out with pride at earning his attention. His obvious approval. Tongue-tied, Harry nods and closes his eyes as he lets go, the music reverberating around them. All of the usual inhibitions that keep him in the corner at parties fall away and he bounces around the center of the dance floor, waving his arms above his head. Somehow his towel stays on, even as he starts to think he wouldn’t mind if it fell off. Fuck it. He finally made it here, he’s damn well going to enjoy it.

Harry goes to a gay bathhouse for the first time. 90s AU.

I Know My Arithmedick (2 + 2 = 4sum) by yeah_alright / @uhoh-but-yeah-alright

[Harry/Louis + Louis/multiple partners, 3k, Explicit, tumblr post]

Harry wants to watch Louis fuck someone else. Louis loves giving Harry what he wants. It’s simple math, really.

doG…and his friend by @uhoh-but-yeah-alright / yeah_alright

[Louis/Harry, 3k, Teen & Up, tumblr post]

When Joan has to move out of her small, nice home and in with a random roommate, she obviously brings her dog/boyfriend, Doug, with her.

Doug makes a friend. And maybe more.

I Heard You Talking by @lululawrence

[Louis/Harry, 10k, Not Rated, tumblr post]

It had been an hour of their noise that Louis had been dealing with, and for some reason the fact that these grown men were being this rowdy in the quiet carriage over a game of Uno was the breaking point for him. He stood up and turned around, making his way down to where the group of five were somehow gathered around a table.

Louis stopped at the table and cleared his throat, mouth open and ready to politely request they keep it down when the man who was sitting with his back to Louis turned.

He was stunningly gorgeous.

Blinking a ridiculous number of times in an attempt to pull himself together, Louis coughed and spit out, “This is the quiet carriage.”

God, he was nearly forty and that was the best he could do in front of a set of pretty, green eyes?

Or the one where Harry is famous and Louis doesn't have a clue. Good thing his son is able to help him out.

All That You Need by @haztobegood

[Louis/Harry, 2k, Explicit, tumblr post]

Pre-heat was always one of Harry’s favorite times to spend with Louis. It was a time to rest up and indulge in extra cuddles, like basking in a ray of sunshine before having to dive off the deep end. Louis lavishes him with tender touches and soft kisses. Harry wants to savor this time as long as possible. The unquenchable need will come later, but for now, his desires are simple. He just needed to be closer to his alpha. As close as possible.

sickly sweet fonding by amomentoflove / @daggerandrose

[Louis/Harry, 1k, General, tumblr post]

A few members of their crew start piling up the dirty dishes and taking them over to the sink. Harry walks around the cameras, and smiles brightly at Louis.

“What do you think, Lou? Do I have it in the bag?”

Louis eyes a bowl of bright pink lumpy batter being cleaned from Harry’s side. “Of course you do.” He wraps an arm around Harry’s waist and steers him away, all while ignoring the dramatic gagging Niall is doing. He doesn’t think it’s just the batter making Niall gag.

or the one where Louis fonds over Harry's horrible baking skills

Fractured Moonlight by amomentoflove / @daggerandrose

[Louis/Harry, 1k, Mature, tumblr post]

Louis huffs because he doesn’t want to deal with this. “Listen, I appreciate your concern.” He doesn’t. “But it’s not your duty to look after the sad man at the bar. Okay?”

'Ere comes the milk by stretchmybones / @onlyfor-thegays

[Harry/Louis, 1k, Explicit]

Louis is obsessed with Harry's mommy milkers.

everything comes back to you by stretchmybones / @onlyfor-thegays

[Louis/Harry, 8k, Explicit]

Harry and Louis are childhood best friends. What happens when Harry has to move towns just as they are starting their secondary gender presentations? What happens when fate brings them back together years later in the most unexpected of ways?

He Still Takes My Breath Away by @parmahamlarrie

[Harry/Louis, 32k, Teen & Up, tumblr post]

Camp Infinity is the perfect place for a lot of things; hiking, swimming, sports, eating, and falling in love. Harry Styles is a bit too familiar with the last one from his years of being a camper. This year things will be different. He’s 21, a grown man now, and ready to see Camp Infinity from a different point of view; working as a lifeguard. However, his whole summer turns upside down when a familiar British lad makes his return into Harry's life.Or the one where Harry is a lifeguard and Louis is the head of recreation. And, sometimes, you just need a little push to realize what was right in front of you the whole time.

Also known as – The Summer Camp Fic

tread lightly on my ground by fairytalelights / @lookslikefairytale

[Louis/Harry, 20k, Explicit, tumblr post]

No, that's the tragic part of this, the part that makes Harry feel like the universe is playing a cruel joke on him. The father of his baby is exactly right, exactly who he always imagined himself having kids with. He just imagined them married, bonded. Happy. He didn't imagine them barely talking, tip-toeing around each other because neither of them is brave enough to talk about what happened between them. He didn't imagine the father of his child not loving him back.

or, the one where Harry is having Louis' baby, but Louis doesn't know it's his.

Getting a Head for Heights by @ladyaj-13 / LadyAJ_13

[Louis/Greg James, 3k, Teen & Up, tumblr post]

The problem is, Louis thinks Greg would be quite good to date, so it would really help if everyone would stop reminding him of that fact so he could unthink it. He’d be a gentleman, at least until Louis talked him out of it, and he’s funny and nice and hot and they’re both into music and football and drama. He’s also a freakish giant of a human, and the problem with dating is that sooner or later you have to stand next to each other.

We Go Together (series) by @beelou / cherrylarry

[Louis/Harry, 3k, General, tumblr post]

A grease au

Hot Boy Summer (series) by @louisandtheaquarian / zita17

[Harry/Louis, 35k, Teen & Up, tumblr post]

Louis is an overworked bartender hoping to save up enough extra tips to buy a new air conditioner before he literally melts during a scorching NYC heat wave. Harry is the new neighbor that wakes him up by moving in his sole day off at 6am. An NYC enemies to neighbors to lovers AU featuring a rickety fire escape, the 2021 Euros, Lirry bickering like a divorced couple, and enough OT5 clichés to rot your teeth. (If Harry's pastries don't get them first.)

across the river is where my heart is by 4ureyesonly28 / @evilovesyou

[Louis/Harry, 8k, General, tumblr post]

The first time they see each other is when they are toddlers, playing out in the yard. Louis remembers sitting on the perfectly trimmed lawn and getting yelled at for picking at the soft blades of grass; she remembers looking over, across the narrow but deep and wild river, and watching another little girl, out in a different garden, picking flowers for her mother.

She remembers carefully raising her hand and waving—her little heart beating hard in her chest, as if she had done something dangerous, something forbidden, even though back then she could not understand the true divide the River made amongst them.

bright eyes, blue denim by 4ureyesonly28 / @evilovesyou

[Louis/Harry, 2k, General, tumblr post]

Louis' favourite jeans have suddenly disappeared from where he always got them. Harry is a store manager with an affinity for customer care, particularly when the customer has bright blue eyes and happens to be very flirty.

whatever you feel like doing in this moment by 4ureyesonly28 / @evilovesyou

[Harry/Louis, 2k, General, tumblr post]

Louis gets all that he's ever wanted during his favourite game at their group's weekly improv show.

[talsiaa]

Coming Out

Pairing: Young!Remus Lupin x Reader (It’s more fem, but I try not to use many pronouns)

Warnings: None, it’s fluffy (i hope) :)

Word Count: 1,184

Summary: You’re finally ready to come out as bi to your wonderful boyfriend Remus Lupin but you’re scared of what he and everyone else will think of you.

A/N: this is purely because im bi so I hope it brings someone somewhere comfort? It’s not too long, I’m not used to writing for the marauders yet but I hope you enjoy it!

The Black Lake on a summer’s evening was one of your favourite sites, it really never got old. The soft amber and red glows of sunset reflecting from the calm waters made you feel cosy and safe, hence why you were sat there now, your back against a tree and a book in your hand. Although, you couldn’t quite focus on the words - your mind was instead racing with the possible outcomes of the conversation you were about to have with your adorable boyfriend, Mr Remus Lupin.

Yourself and Remus had been together since fourth year and now, in sixth year, you still feeel all giddy while you talk to him. You had always been nervous around him, even when you started dating, but it was a good nervous - the type where your stomach feels like its doing somersaults and your heart just won’t slow down because you’re so in love. This time however, you felt nervous like you were about to sit an exam you hadn’t revised for, your tummy was sinking with your heart drumming too loudly and it was just all overwhelming. Despite your body trying to tell you otherwise though, you knew you were ready to tell someone and that someone had to be Remus.

“Hey, dove,” Remus’ voice caught you off guard as you spiralled, making you jump a little but still force an uneasy smile at him as he sat down next to you. You couldn’t help but admire how beautiful he looked, especially with the golden sun rays dancing across his scarred nose, with his tie loosened and his uniform slightly askew. Usually he was, of course, very smartly dressed as an example to the younger years (he was a prefect, after all) so you enjoyed this, looking at him with his sleeves rolled up and his hair ruffled. Remus was another one of your favourite sites.

“Hey.” you tried to say, but it came out as a soft whisper as you pressed your lips together, hard. 

“Are you going to tell me why you’ve asked me on a top secret trip to the black lake?” he nudged you, both teasingly and apprehensively, not knowing why you were suddenly all quiet and jumpy. You took a deep breath.

“I need to talk to you, Rem.” you looked back at the Black Lake, trying to anchor yourself to this moment and prepare for the worst, setting your book down next to you.

“Oh Merlin,” he mumbled, causing you to look back at him. His face was full of fear now. “Are you breaking up with me?”

“What!?” You cupped both of his cheeks in your hands, moving onto your knees next to him. “No, no of course not. I love you, I’m definitely not breaking up with you.” his hand came up to hold your wrist and draw soothing circles on it while you lent forwards to lightly kiss his nose (it always brought out a beautiful smile from the lycanthrope). “It’s something I-I need to tell you,” 

You settled back down with your back to the tree but now Remus placed his arm around your shoulders, pulling you towards his so you could rest your head on his shoulders. His other hand still held yours, drawing different shapes onto your palm. 

“You can tell me anything, sweetheart. Promise,” Remus gave a quick kiss to the top of your head.

“You won’t be mad? O-or break up with me, or tell everybody or call me some awful name?” you stammered, knowing full well that Remus would never do anything your head was telling you he might. This only concerned Remus more, pulling you closer and stroking your hair as some tears started to fall down your face.

“I love you more than anything. I promise you I won’t be mad or break up with you or any of that. I don’t want to pressure you into telling me, though. If You want we could just go on a walk while the suns still setting?” how Remus found the words to make you feel so safe and loved every time was a complete mystery to you. He was simply perfect.

“Thank you.” you whispered, building up your courage to just tell him already. “I’ve been confused and frustrated with myself for a long while now. I didn’t fully understand certain thoughts and feelings and it made me miserable but since I figured it out - figured myself out - it’s something that feels so right and I just know this is what I’ve been lacking for ages now. I-It’s like a jigsaw puzzle and I’ve finally found the last piece and I want to be proud of it and I want the people I love and care about to know.” you filled your lungs with another deep breath. Remus just silently listening to you so intently, still caressing your hair and giving the occasional kiss to your head was just so comforting. Now that you were doing it, you were so glad. It felt very right. You lifted off of his shoulder, facing him and taking both his hands in yours, very confident in what you were saying. “Remus, I love you so much and I want you to know that this doesn’t change the way I feel about you one bit. I’m bisexual and I think that you deserve to be the first person I tell.”

Remus’ brows pushed together a little, his lips parting then pressing together again while he gave your hands a squeeze. “Darling, please tell me if I say something wrong, okay? I really, really don’t mean to, I just don’t know a lot about all of this.” he brought one of your hands up to press a soft kiss to your knuckles. “Firstly, is bisexual where you like men and women? Sorry for not knowing properly, I just-”

“Don’t worry, Rem.” you cut him off with a smile. It was the 70s after all, there was a massive stigma around LGBTQ+ and it wasn’t exactly taught about in schools (although 50 years later you would’ve thought it might have at least it’s own official section in PSHE). “I didn’t expect you to be an expert in all things gay and yeah pretty much.”

“Right, good. I understand. So secondly, I’m so glad that this is something that makes you feel whole and I’m so proud of you for telling me. I know that must not have been easy for you and I’m honoured I’m the first person to know. I love you so much and I just want you to be happy, above all else.” at this point you were overcome by so much joy that this had turned out so perfectly and pulled him closer to you for a kiss. It was quite possibly the best kiss you had ever had and you both poured so much love into it. 

“Thanks, Rem,” you said softly, pulling away from him.

“You’ve got nothing to thank me for, darling. You’re happy and that’s what matters.”

Godric, he’s literally the sweetest, most perfect person on the planet.

[devilrising]

For me the top of the list of things that feel gay and homophobic at the same time is Darco MyFatherWillHearAboutThis Malfoy

I really enjoyed this prompt! Thank you Raye for the beta <3

Warnings: drunken shenanigans, spin the bottle, and first kisses

***

The Room of Requirement is packed with students, speakers, and tables covered with cheap food and alcohol. Harry isn’t entirely sure who thought asking for Muggle speakers was a good idea, but the Room had supplied massive ones that take up a good amount of space. Occasionally a Pureblood bumps into them, and Harry takes great delight in watching them flinch and rush away.

When Hermione had suggested a party to help build interhouse relationships for the Eighth Years, Harry had been skeptical at best. When Ron had readily agreed to it, and even made sure the Slytherins were included, Harry was suspicious. There’s no way Ron was willing to hang out with Slytherins without an ulterior motive.

Part of Harry thinks he just wants to get into Hermione’s pants.

Face twisting in disgust at the thought, Harry forces himself back to the current situation. Most of the Eighth Years are gathered in a semi-circle, sitting in front of a roaring fire. There’s a bottle in the middle of the group, presently ignored in favour of the couple snogging. Harry didn’t see the point in playing Spin the Bottle. He had protested and claimed that they were too old to be making people kiss their classmates, but no one had wanted to listen to him.

Now though, after a few shots of Firewhiskey burning through his veins, he doesn’t think it’s such a bad idea anymore. If nothing else, it has finally made Dean and Seamus realise how stupid they are for each other.

“Alright alright! Keep it family friendly!” Hermione calls out, voice slightly slurred. The boys finally break apart, Dean squeezing Seamus’ butt once before moving back to his spot in the circle. Seamus flushes bright red, and after a moment, crawls after him.

“Spin the bottle!” Blaise shouts, grinning as it's set in motion again.

With all eyes turned to watch who it lands on, Harry takes a moment to scan the room again. There’s the circle of gay girls also playing spin the bottle, another group of people playing a drinking game of some sort, and not much else happening. The flash of blond hair he’s looking for is nowhere to be found, and he sighs under his breath. Bloody Malfoy must be invisible. Or not interested in getting drunk.

Harry forces his eyes back to his own circle, the group of boys staring in horror at the bottle. Theodore Nott and Terry Boot. Harry bites back a shocked laugh. It had surprised absolutely no one when both these boys came out, but surprised everyone when they started dating. Then it had all promptly fallen apart. And now they have to kiss because of a drunk party game. Harry feels slightly sorry for them, even if it’s also hilarious.

He watches as Terry wrinkles his nose in disgust, but shuffles forward on his knees to sit in the centre of the circle. Theo follows a moment later, scowling at Terry.

“It can’t be too bad Theo! You used to be constantly snogging him!”

“Not the time, Blaise,” Ron murmurs from where he’s standing with Hermione next to the fireplace. Ron may be bisexual, and therefore meets the criteria to join the game, but there’s no way he’d look at anyone else now he’s with Hermione. The two are nausea inducing, and Harry loves them.

Harry watches as Terry scoffs, fists his hands in Theodore’s shirt, and tugs him close. The kiss is a harsh peck, over in a second. Theo looks stunned, and then he’s hauling Terry back in. This time, it’s closer to snogging, and earns a few wolf whistles.

“I told you it wouldn’t be so bad,” Blaise mutters. “Bloody boys.”

“Blaise, you’re a boy,” Harry whispers pointedly.

Blaise just shrugs.

“Move it on lads,” Dean calls out.

Terry pulls away first, putting some distance between himself and Theo. And then he’s lifting a hand and slapping Theo across the cheek.

Theodore swears loudly, standing up and storming back to his spot next to Blaise. I guess they aren’t getting back together.

Cheers erupt from the circle of girls, and Harry turns to find Pansy and Lavender snogging. He watches as Pansy gets her hands in Lavender’s hair and tugs, making her moan. Hermione is quick to break it up, and the girls settle back down together, Pansy practically sitting in Lavender’s lap.

“Spin the bottle!” Anthony Goldstein calls, and Blaise takes great delight in grabbing it and giving a hard spin.

Harry zones out again, letting the game play around him. He briefly sees Blaise crawling into the circle, but he doesn’t know who the other player is. He glances around the room again. Where the fuck is Malfoy?

***

“You know what’s both gay and homophobic?” Theodore is asking a little while later, between rounds. Harry thinks having to kiss Dean Thomas is pretty high on his list. Dean a) has a boyfriend (as of 15 minutes ago) and b) is as far away from Harry’s type as possible. He won’t say that though; he would hate to offend one of his roommates of eight years.

“Guitars!”

The circle cheers.

“How?” Harry asks. He’s definitely missing something.

“You know. All those homophobic men who play them, but the gays love guitars.” Theo shakes his head like it should be obvious.

“Here I was thinking you’d say being forced to snog your ex!” Justin Finch-Fletchley called from across the room.

Theo huffs, looking down at the floor as his ears become pink.

An awkward cough draws Harry’s attention to someone outside the circle. Malfoy. Harry freezes, unable to tear his eyes away from Malfoy. His hair is for once not slicked back, but purposely tousled, hanging down over his forehead. His Hogwarts robes have been swapped out for a mesh black shirt and sinfully tight jeans. Harry can see his nipples through the shirt, and the sight makes his mouth water.

“You know what I think is gay and homophobic at the same time?” Ron, drunk off his arse, asks the group.

Everyone pauses, waiting.

“Draco MyFatherWillHearAboutThis Malfoy!”

The circle explodes with laughter and catcalls. All eyes turn to Malfoy, and Harry watches as the boys rake their eyes over his outfit. Something heavy settles and twists in Harry’s gut.

Malfoy flushes a lovely colour of pink, stuttering. No words actually manage to form, and after a few attempts at talking, he just rolls his eyes.

“Join the circle Draco!” Blaise says, his words nearly slurred beyond recognition. Theo nods enthusiastically, and soon everyone else is practically begging Malfoy to join. With an exaggerated sigh, Malfoy makes his way to the circle, sitting down between Theo and Blaise.

Great. Time to leave.

Harry shuffles back slowly, hoping not to draw any attention to himself. The universe has other plans though, as all eyes immediately fix on him.

Harry clears his throat. “I’m uh- I’m gonna go find Hermione. It’s getting late.” He feels his cheeks heating up, and hopes that the flush will be hidden under his dark skin. This wasn’t supposed to happen.

“Nope. Absolutely not. It’s just gotten interesting!” Seamus declares, his accent made all the more worse with excess alcohol. Dean, who Seamus is using as a chair, nods along.

“Yeah Potter, play one more round with us!” Anthony pipes up, a smirk playing on his lips.

A hand grabs Harry’s wrist and tugs him back to the floor. Harry resumes his position in the circle with a scowl. He can’t believe this is happening. Except, it’s not at all surprising.

“What do you say, Draco spins this time?” Blaise asks the group, and everyone nods. Everyone except Harry, who can’t think of a worse idea, but no one seems to care.

Malfoy turns to look at Blaise, his expression hidden from Harry; after a slight hesitation, he reaches forward. Draco’s pale, delicate hands look beautiful next to the bottle. Harry shakes his head. I must be really drunk.

The bottle spins and spins and spins. Harry nearly goes dizzy from watching it move, trying to predict where it will end up. Eventually it begins to slow down. Harry tracks its movements, his eyes flitting from Terry to Anthony to Dean to Seamus to…

“No. Nuh uh, no way.” All faces once again turn to Harry, and he glares at all of them.

“You have to Harry! It’s the rules!” Theo says.

“I am not kissing Malfoy.”

“Why not, Potter?” Blaise asks, eyes innocently--worryingly--large.

“Because it’s Malfoy.”

Harry turns to find Malfoy’s eyes, who is staring right at him. His gaze burns into Harry, setting him alight. I can’t do this.

“What’s wrong Potter?” Malfoy asks, popping the ‘p’ in an imitation of the way he used to say it. Now though, after the antagonism of their rivalry has faded to banter and bickering, Malfoy says it more gently. It always makes something in Harry’s brain melt. “Afraid I’ll be too good?” He lifts a single eyebrow, thin lips curving into a smirk.

“As if Malfoy. You’ve probably never kissed anyone before!” Harry knows it’s weak, but his brain is mostly offline thanks to the Firewhiskey and the idea of what’s about to happen. Because of course he’s going to kiss Malfoy.

“Trust me Potter, he has.”

Harry isn’t sure who said it, but he glares in the general direction. The image of Draco kissing someone other than him turns his mood sour. The weight in his gut reappears.

Draco is grinning when Harry looks at him again. He moves onto his knees and shuffles into the centre of the circle. “Scared, Potter?”

Harry scowls, pushing aside all rational thought, and joins him. “You wish, Malfoy.”

Harry doesn’t have another second to think, because Draco is grabbing the collar of Harry’s shirt and pulling him in. Fire floods Harry’s veins as his lips meet Draco’s. His fingers twitch, and he threads them into Draco’s breath-taking hair. The kiss turns heated very quickly, and Harry struggles to keep up as Draco slides his tongue against Harry’s. He’s going dizzy with it, burning from the inside out. His stomach flips as Draco slides his hands from his collar to the back of his neck, pulling him even closer.

Harry gasps for breath as they break apart, his lungs burning at the lack of oxygen. He can hear his pulse in his ears, blocking out everything except himself and Draco. After a second of harsh breathing, he feels lips on his jaw. A moan is wrenched from him as Draco nips gently, and then the mouth moves down to his neck. Draco sucks a mark into his skin, high up on his neck where Harry won’t be able to cover it. Harry can’t help the groan he releases, and tugs Draco back up to meet his lips again. Right where he wants him.

“Time to break it up!” someone is shouting, and Harry whines when Draco pulls away slightly.

As their foreheads rest against each other, Harry becomes aware of everyone in the Room cheering. Everyone. Not just the guys he was playing with, but the girls and other guys as well. Harry sighs, but he can’t help the smile on his lips.

“About bloody time mate,” Ron is saying when Harry finally gathers the courage to look at something other than the floor.

“Is now an appropriate time to say that I charmed the bottle?” Blaise asks, and Harry and Draco both whip around to look at him.

“You what?!” Draco shouts, glaring daggers into his friend.

“You two have been eye-fucking all term! I’m helping you get laid, Draco.” Blaise grins, the smug smile making Harry shake his head.

Draco rolls his eyes and stands up properly. Before Harry can begin doubting anything, Draco grabs his hand and hauls him up. Harry stands in front of Draco, a shy smile on his lips. God, he’s pretty.

“Come on, Harry,” Draco murmurs into his ear. “Let’s get out of here.”

Harry is helpless to do anything but nod and follow him out of the Room, ignoring the catcalls that trail after them.

***

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Masterlist

[wy-van-sunshine]

modern Wesper high school

Wylan

The red-haired boy opened his locker pretty annoyed, slamming the door against the metal: it was the end of the school year and, just as usual, it was time to prepare for the school prom, probably the most important event to students.

Wylan hated it from the deepest of his heart: he had never been popular and no one had ever asked him to go together. What he hated even more was to see all the happy couples around him and some guys who found the courage to ask their love interest out.

Why had none of that ever happened to him in four years? Yes, he was openly gay and he was a little bit shy, but he wasn’t that bad after all, was he? He knew in his school there were other guys interested in men like he was, so why was he never considered a choice?

With his cheeks red with anger, he threw some books in his locker to put an end to that day and go home already; before closing the door, though, he saw a paper falling down from it: before he could catch it, a girl (whom he hated from the deepest of his heart) next to him took it and opened it: “Hey sunshine, want to go to the prom with me?” She looked at him raising her brows, a stupid smile curving her mouth “Oooh, Van Eck has a date! I wonder who could make such a poor choice”

Wylan rolled his eyes and took the note from that hideous bitch who never gave him a break. When she finally walked away, he focused on those words he couldn’t really read and his eyes suddenly widened: wait, had he just been asked out? Him?

Wylan was incredulous: that couldn’t be true, there had to be some kind of mistake. Wrong locker, maybe? He’d never been called “sunshine” before, so that message was definitely not for him.

He raised his gaze and scanned the hallway, looking for someone staring at him, maybe waiting for his reaction: but the only eyes he met were those of the captain of the football team, and he definitely couldn’t be his secret admirer.

Jesper

What he did was crazy and rushed, but that was just Jesper: everything he did was instinct. He carried the football team on his shoulders and all a good captain could do was to always trust his heart, no matter what.

He had spotted a beautiful mess of red curls during his first science class at the beginning of the year, and he’d been obsessed with that smart guy ever since: he didn’t talk much, but when he answered to the professor everything about the way he talked was hypnothic to Jesper - his soft, shaky tone, all those difficult scientific words, everything.

Even though Jesper was very friendly with everyone, he had never found the right moment to approach that curious boy: he was always alone, but every time he looked so focused on his drawings, lost in his thoughts, and Jesper just didn’t feel allowed to enter his world.

But he had to put an end to it: after talking to his dearest friend Inej about his matters of heart, the girl had suggested that he ask the red-haired guy out at the prom. He’d liked the idea.

He didn’t know his name - damn his lack of any focus during the science lessons, no wonder he had terrible grades - so he decided to call him by the spontaneous nickname he’d found after the first week: sunshine, because that guy with his curls and his smile shone like no one else.

He was now looking at him from the distance, curious to see his reaction to his note: when their eyes met, Jesper noticed the guy’s cheeks were much pinker and he chuckled, in complete awe for such softness.

Inej next to him smiled and punched him on the shoulder: “Looking flirty already?”

Jesper did nothning but laugh, keeping his focus on the handsome boy across the hall.

Wylan

All his surprise for the note disappeared when he saw the captain and his friend laugh while looking at him: suddenly, Wylan felt so stupid.

Of course no one wanted to go out with him, had he really believed any of that were true?

He lowered his gaze and only then did he remember he was wearing a green jumper: oh God, not only did he feel stupid, he was actually looking stupid. He remembered his father’s words every time he wore that colour: “Green with your red hair? You’re going to look like a Christmas elf. What’s next, a bell bracelet?”

No wonder the captain and his friend were laughing at him, now: they’d tricked him with a fake love note and they’d found him with that ridiculous outfit. He wouldn’t be surprised if they even knew he couldn’t actually read.

The joke turned out even better than expected.

Wylan felt tears filling his eyes and, before he could do anything about it, they were falling down on his cheeks. He had only a few seconds to see the captain’s expression change before he turned and ran away, far from all that shit he couldn’t take anymore.

Jesper

What had happened?

Jesper was standing petrified, all his excitement gone. He was confused and also a little bit crushed because he’d never seen tears wet that beautiful face before.

“I don’t understand” he whispered, turning to Inej to look for some answers.

“I don’t know what happened” said the girl, perplexed just the same “But I do feel like this is a good moment for you to be there for him. You say he’s always alone, and I don’t know who wants to be alone while crying”

Jesper nodded and gave Inej a rapid kiss on the cheek before leaving her in order to follow the red curls running away from him. It wasn’t hard, after all he was an athlete, so he could easily keep the guy’s pace. He followed him until he entered the music room: Jesper took a few moments to be surprised about it, but then he approached the door to join him and hopefully talk to him.

He found him seated at the piano, playing a furious yet wonderful melody on the keys.

Narrator

Wylan could express his feelings mostly through music, so that was the first thing he looked for after the pain he’d felt that day: he was liberating his frustration, telling his secrets to the only one who would listen.

He felt observed, but he didn’t care: whoever was annoyed by how loud he was playing could make peace with it already, he wasn’t going to stop.

“Hey, sorry to interrupt”

Wylan froze: he knew that voice. He’d watched some games at his school and the captain’s voice was always the loudest, the clearest.

Why had he followed him? Wasn’t he happy enough with how he had made fun of him?

“Leave me alone” whispered Wylan, his voice still rough “Please”

Jesper cleared his throat and stepped forward: “I’d like to sit next to you, actually. May I?”

“You may not”

The captain chuckled: “Um... okay, I’ll stand here then. I’m Jesper Fahey, nice to meet you”

The red-haired guy sighed: “What do you want? You’ve already humiliated me beyond imagination, what else do you need?”

Jesper opened his mouth, schocked and speechless: he had humiliated him? How was it possible? He hadn’t done literally anything apart from writing him a note that was everything but humiliating. What was the redhead talking about?

“I... what?”

Wylan laughed, tears filling his eyes again:  “Oh please, please don’t play fool with me. Asking the poor loser out fot the prom? Very funny, yes, I’m sure you had a heartfelt laugh with your friends”

Jesper tried to reply, but Wylan went on, his cheeks newly red and wet: “You know, I knew I was stupid, but not as much as to believe someone like you could actually be interested in me. Stupid Wylan, you idiot. Father’s so right about you, you’re such a delusion”

“Hey-”

“And you also found me wearing this stupid green jumper and- you know what, I’m taking this off. I’m already a loser to you, so what changes?”

Jesper put a hand on Wylan’s arm and stopped him, trying to look at him in the eyes.

“Wylan - did I understand right? - Wylan, stop for a second. What the hell are you talking about? And why shouldn’t you wear that jumper? I...” the captain laughed nervously “I am honestly so confused, but please listen to me”

The redhead froze at the sudden warmth of the captain’s hand on his arm: he dried his cheeks with his sleeve and sighed: “Just be fast, I really can’t do this today”

The captain cleared his throat: “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I think there’s been a huge misunderstanding” he smiled at Wylan “I really want to go to the prom with you”

Wylan’s eyes widened, his breath catched: was he serious?

“Is that so?”

Jesper laughed: “I’ve already asked you twice in less than an hour, what do you want, a formal request?”

“I...” the redhead was speechless, his mind was starting to ache trying to understand how any of that were possible. He was probably dreaming.

The captain pointed his hand to the free space next to Wylan: “While you take this life-changing decision, may I sit?”

Wylan gave him the faintest smile: “Yeah”

The captain sat and the redhead held his breath for some seconds: Jesper’s arm was muscled and strong against his thin one, his profile looked like a sculpture, his lips were the most perfect shape he’d ever seen, his skin was a beautiful light brown similar to that cappuccino he loved so much. When Wylan found the ability to breath again, the captain’s fresh scent made him drunk.

He was going to lose his mind, so he made his eyes look away before he did anything stupid.

Jesper felt Wylan’s tension through his arm against his, so he placed a hand on the piano and played a random key: “I’ve always been astonished by the power of this instrument, but I don’t think I’ll ever understand how to play it” he turned his head to Wylan “You were playing beautifully, I would’ve listened to you for hours”

Wylan shrugged: “It wasn’t a great performance, I was just letting some bad feelings out. I can do better. Besides, that’s not even my main instrument”

“Oh?” now Jesper was surprised: just how great could this guy’s talents be?

The redhead smiled and scrolled his head: “No, I play the flute. But here at school I can only use the piano, hygienic stuff, you know. I... I really needed to play some music just to feel better”

Jesper nodded: “Did you feel bad because of the note I left in your locker?”

“Well...” Wylan sighed “Kind of. It’s not your fault, though: at first I was surprised, then I saw you and you friend laugh and I panicked. I thought it was all just a mockery”

“Why would you think that?” asked the captain raising a brow.

Wylan laughed: “Are you kidding? You’re, like, the most popular person in the entire school, how could I believe you were actually asking me out?”

He wasn’t going to mention his dyslexia too. He didn’t want to ruin the moment. Besides, he was starting to think Jesper didn’t actually know about it.

“Well, for starters I should inform you that you’re very cute and that you shouldn’t blush for me saying that” Jesper restrained a smile looking at those pale cheeks get the darkest shade of red “And you should also know that Inej and I were laughing because we were so excited to see your reaction. I’ve had you stuck in my head for a while now, you know”

“You... you have?” Wylan could simply not believe it. There wasn’t any logic in any of that. 

Yet, it was happening.

“Yeah”

“So... so is everything true? You really want to go out with me, of all guys?”

“Oh Christ, you’re a tough one, aren’t you?” asked Jesper rolling his eyes. He stood up, just to get down on one knee and take Wylan’s hands in his “Please, Wylan, for the last time, will you go to this godforsaken prom with me?”

The redhead laughed, incredulous, but at the same time trusting towards that handsome guy kneeling if front of him: “I think I will”

“Oh my- can’t you just say yes, for my heart’s sake?”

“Okay, yes! Yes I will!” conceded Wylan, now laughing so hard he couldn’t even remember he’d been crying just a few minutes before.

“Thank God. This was the toughest task of my life so far”

Jesper sat back next to Wylan, smiling and feeling wonderfully. The redhead looked at him for a while, then cleared his throat: “Would you mind if I...” he hesitated, unsure if he could already go that far.

“If you what?”

Wylan lowered his eyes and whispered: “... if I hugged you?”

Jesper smiled as he whispered back a faint “come here”, circling Wylan’s shoulders with his arm, pulling him towards his body and placing his other hand between his incredibly soft curls. They both closed their eyes, feeling well, in the right place.

“By the way” whispered Jesper, not moving the tiniest inch from their hug “I have no idea why you talked about your jumper, but for the record I think green looks wonderful on you”

Wylan smiled against the captain’s chest: “You do?”

“Yes. It makes your eyes and your hair look even more beautiful. As a matter of fact, you should wear green more often”

In response, Wylan held tighter to Jesper’s body: “I will, then”

[pointnumbersixteen]

How do you see The Captain's coming out, and growth in confidence and self acceptance thereafter taking place?

I like this question! …and I’m probably going to elaborate on it a bit more than many people will want to read (I noticed back when I was regularly writing essay length posts that they did not get a lot of love) and it’s probably going to get even more ramble-y than usual (brain has not been braining as cooperatively as it should recently and the decision to drink half a bottle of wine right before answering this- sorry- probably does not help), but here we are.  

 About coming out scenarios, none of mine are particularly elaborate. While I do think he needs to come out for his story line to progress, I can’t imagine him making a big thing out of it (long or elaborate announcements, heart-to-hearts, emotional displays of bearing his authentic self or any of the like), either with the group, or person-by-person, for several reasons:

First off, that sort of a coming-out to-do is a more modern notion, and I doubt he was a particularly modern person even when he was alive, seventy-five years ago. His notions of privacy and propriety are probably much more conservative than ours, and I feel like that makes it unlikely that he’d go into any sort of detail, at least at early in this process, about his feelings/emotions or the specificities of his attractions. We’re talking about a man who doesn’t even use his own name. It’s difficult to picture him going into depth about his desires and love life.

Secondly, he’s a bit of a social coward. (He’s not a physical coward, of course, he jumped on that bomb in the garden without hesitation, and acknowledged after the fact that he gotten caught up in the moment, and therefore hadn’t really thought about how a bomb couldn’t hurt him.) And I get it, I’m a bit of a social coward, too, so no judgement. He probably faced a lot of ridicule in his life. Being a social coward is totally fair. But he doesn’t put himself into situations that might involve awkward interpersonal interactions if he can help it, and legs it whenever interactions he’s already in become to awkward for him. I feel like he’s probably quite desperate (although he’d never admit to it) to save face and protect what bits of his ego remain unscathed.

Think about it: he could have spoken to Fanny on his own about her nightly screaming disturbing him in s1e1, they have a clear association established at the outset of the show, they leave Heather’s room together at the end of the very first scene, but he doesn’t do so until he has the weight of the whole group to back him up about the screaming at their meeting. He had to buck up his courage and give himself his little ‘over the top we go’ pep talk before going to speak to Alison in Gorilla War. Also, if there was actually something wrong with his soldiers’ horseplay after hours in Reddy Weddy- if it was breaking regulations or even his own orders for quiet hours- and he heard it, he could have gone down directly when he heard it, confronted whoever was involved and order them to stop or put them on report. But no, instead he addressed the entire group of soldiers in a sixteen point morning brief. He even dispatched Pat to confront Alison about the party in s2e2, instead doing it himself… and spit out his apology/reconciliation with Pat at the end as fast as possible. And as for legging it when things get awkward, see his retreats following the group confronting him in Getting Out and after Alison telling him he wasn’t needed in the Grey Lady- and on a more figurative than literal level, but most relevantly, his quick turn from ‘I’ll miss you’ to ‘we’ll miss you’ with Havers in Reddy Weddy.

This is not a man who wants to be in awkward or embarrassing situations. And I think that coming out, at least at first, will probably be a bit embarrassing for him- it was scandalous in his time, and I think it will take him longer to get over that feeling and come to terms with himself than it will to finally acknowledge that he’s gay. So I doubt he’d make more of it than he utterly feels he has to, at least at first. And of course, he’d have to be a bit afraid that people would judge him or stop associating with him over it, as sadly, in his own time many people would have done, and most of the ghosts are from even earlier times than he was. So that might add more hesitation…

And thirdly, he doesn’t like and/or respect many of his house mates. The other twentieth century ghosts are the only ones he spends much time with. I doubt he’d go out of his way to communicate much of anything to the rest if it wasn’t “mission related” much less discuss his sexuality with them. He mostly disregards Humphrey. See his, “Oh, it’s you.” Mary obviously doesn’t like him and he only associates with her when it might be useful for his ‘missions.’ He clearly doesn’t think much of Thomas and doesn’t really even bother including him in his plans. These aren’t people he’s going to have heart-to-hearts with.

With those constraints in place, here’s a non-exhaustive list of possibilities by which I might see his coming out finally happening. They’re really just scenarios I made for myself on how I might see him coming out and I like to keep my options open (the first three are strategies he might go for, the last is an alternate scenario, presented in decreasing levels of directness on his part):

1) The ‘pull the bandage off quickly and hope it doesn’t sting too much’ strategy.

The Captain waits for the end of one of their various group activities or meetings, where all announcements seem to be made, gets up, clears his throat, stammers a bit, announces it tersely, using the most proper popular word for homosexuality that existed in his time (think: “Heh-hem. Er. Um. Well. It has recently come to my attention that I am- er- well- as it happens- gay. I, uh, thought it should be noted. That is all.”), and then beats a hasty retreat, so he doesn’t have to try to cope with the potentially negative aftermath. Of course, there isn’t a negative aftermath, because many of the ghosts already have guessed and the rest don’t really care. Someone, probably Pat, because he does the bulk of the emotional labor in the group, and more importantly, he’s Cap’s closest friend, would have to go after him. He would of course be initially defensive, and Pat would have to sooth his feathers a bit- or maybe just spit it out over his defensiveness- that he guessed a long time ago and so had plenty of other people, and they were just waiting for him to be ready, and really, it’s fine, and no one’s going to disown him for it.  

2) The ‘well maybe I should tell my friends with the hope they support me’ strategy.

He gets together with a small group, the people whose company he actually values, definitely Fanny and Pat, maybe Julian, probably Alison either at the same time or after he finishes with his ghosts pals, and says it in much the same way as the previous scenario, but waiting for their reactions rather than retreating straight away. Pat and Alison, I expect, would answer with something like ‘yeah, we figured that one out a long time ago, actually, and it’s completely fine’ and Julian’s reaction would probably be something like, ‘well, obviously.’ Fanny’s had a lot of character growth since season one, when I expect her reaction would have been very shrill and judgmental, probably still would be a touch less warm and/or nonchalant, but I picture it as something like a sigh, followed by a pat on the arm and something like, ‘well, I still like you better than everyone else here, anyway.’ Word would eventually trickle to everyone else by way of social osmosis. Or not. No one seems to care if Humphrey or the plague ghosts are well informed.  

3) The ‘I’m not brave enough to actually go through the process of actually telling anyone anything about me so let’s just drop hints and hope everyone figures it out without making a big deal about it’ strategy.  

The indirect approach (I’m rather fond of this one, but mostly because it was my own primary coming out approach)… he first sends out feelers to certain people on the topic of homosexuality, probably Alison, since she’s modern, hosted a lesbian wedding, and very much implied that she’d be ready to keep scandalous secrets for him in Reddy Weddy, and  possibly maybe also Julian, as he’s the most sexually experienced/knowledgeable, and after Alison spent a while inundating him with ‘it’s okay to be gay’ messages (along with a sudden and entirely unexplained influx of LGBT media) as she’s socially clever enough to see that’s what he’s looking for and after Julian spent a while telling him probably far more than he ever actually wanted to know about the potentialities of gay sex, that might boost the Captain’s confidence enough to let him start dropping hints to people, instead of telling them outright (consciously commenting on the attractiveness of men they see rather than occasionally accidentally blurting it out- see ‘the handsome one’- occasionally putting forth an opinion or stance on the LGBT world ‘it would have been nice if gay marriage was acceptable when I was alive,’ maybe occasionally mentioning how certain men would make cute couple), expecting them to meet him in the middle and figure out the point on their own… of course, many of them have already realized, so this isn’t a problem. It’s entirely possible, though, that Mary (world view not terribly grounded in reality) and Kitty (lack of life experience and/or instruction about life, see the how are babies made subplot) never pick up the hints on their own and someone else eventually has to tell them.

4) The ‘someone puts him out of his misery’ scenario.

Cap acknowledges to himself that he’s gay first and then, wishing to avoid embarrassment or lack of acceptance, obviously, awkwardly, painfully tries to disguise it and in doing so draws attention to it, until a third party decides to put him out of his misery and tell him that many of them figured it out ages ago and that everyone is fine with it. Maybe Pat. Maybe Alison. I kind of like the idea of it being Fanny (with her lovely character growth and her couple of suspicious glances his way in the Perfect Day), actually, by way of something like ‘You know, I was entirely prepared to continue on living with my husband, George, keeping his secrets, about the, uh, sort of person he was, and you’re at least one better than him, given that you at least never murdered me- or, for that matter, never married some poor woman you had no interest in to shield yourself from scrutiny… and so, what I’m saying is, I wouldn’t turn my back on you for being the, uh, sort of person you are, either, and maybe things have progressed enough that you don’t actually have to keep secrets at all.’ Cap would take all of this in with a mixture of mortification and relief. I’m rather fond of this scenario, too.  

 As for the second bit of the question, once his sexuality is out there, though, and no one judges him or hates him for it- and some are quite supportive- I do see him becoming more self-accepting. If no one’s judging him, does he need to judge himself so harshly? And also more confident. Because some of those things that he’s always felt different about and in the past has probably been ridiculed about in the past (even if he’s in denial about being gay, he and quite a few other people had to at the very least note that he’s not particularly interested in women), are, apparently just fine now. So he’s a bit more just fine now himself. And that weight of always trying to be someone else, someone who’s just right, can lift and he can relax a bit more. And that would probably help him a lot, too. I see it as a slow sort of thawing process. No matter what way he comes out, I still see Alison as very helpfully providing a variety of LGBT media to help this process along. And maybe he’d eventually get to the point where he processed enough and warmed up enough to be able to talk more in depth, at least with his friends, about what it was like being him in repressed pre-war Britain, and what sort of men he’s attracted to (I enjoy the idea of him and Fanny- gradually overcoming her own repression- scoping out hot men together). Maybe he’ll even luck out one of his male housemates will decide (or has already decided) that bisexuality is a valid option and he’ll get a date (insert whichever ghost y’all ship him with here). I bet Alison would totally help him set up a nice date, too, with her convenient still-functional-in-the-mortal-realm hands. And it would be nice to maybe see him get a taste of actual happiness.    

[fourangers]

Hi Fourangers,

First of all, I love your blog so much. It's like going through a history back when Naruto Manga chapters were released weekly and your reviews were so Golden, Hilarious and spot-on. Am a new fan though (especially an SNS fan), I just got into this fandom only this year. I don't know if you'll answer my ask, but I just wanted to try and ask you few questions and I pray that you might answer me....

1. Since you've written in a post that you were active in the eastern part of the fandom, How was chapter 698 received in Japan? Because this is the chapter I inherently realized they both love each other. Yeah, I was too late but somehow whenever they interact with each other in previous chapters I always find them to be 'Weird' for just to be friends. Chapter 698 is just blatantly obvious that they love each other. Considering Homophobia and Shounen genre, I have no idea how it was perceived over there back then in 2014.

2. Which scene made you to ship SNS?

3. As an SNS'er how do you feel about the ending, where everyone was married off when they were just 19 just to make some shitty sequel??? As a new fan, I felt betrayed and It would've been perfect if they had stopped at chapter 699, leaving an open ending.

4. How do you face with the accusation about Naruto and Sasuke as brothers and we, SNS'ers are Incest shippers??? I don't care about that Indra and Ashura thing. But Naruto himself told he considers Sasuke as his Brother couple of times. And in Chapter 699, Sasuke acknowledged, 'He finally understood what it meant'.... It's the only thing that confuses me and I don't even have an answer!!! Plus, Kishi himself gave an interview that he based Sasuke on his Brother... I really wonder how he gave such an interview when he literally made them wear necklaces with each other's faces.

5. How was Naruto and Sasuke's sexuality perceived in the fandom back then??? Man!! Kishimoto just made lot of comic reliefs on their sexuality by making Sasuke on Sai jutsu, Naruto not interested in Icha Icha but making Reverse Harem no Jutsu, Naruto was angry when Konohamaru made Boy on Boy jutsu whereas he had no problem with him doing it. LOL. And all those homoerotic posters. What do you think about their sexuality, personally??

6. Why did Kishi had to develop their bond as Soulmates with some unintentional or intentional romantic undertones, if he was eventually going to pair them up with girls??? He easily could've gave many such romantic tropes to other girls and keep the bond between N and S as purely friendship or brothers. It still would've made sense.

7. Final one, Was Naruto really Nosebleeding when Kurama made a joke about Sasuke's kiss in Chapter 572???? We had a lot of heated discussion with other shippers where they claim that it was just a splotch of snot.

Sorry for the lengthy ask....... I am so eager to know your answers and I don't want to spam your ask box by sending multiple asks.

Thanks 😊😊😊

Hey yo! Welcome new SNS fan! I'm so glad that you joined us and I'll try to answer as best as I can. I'm not very active here on tumblr (except browsing lol) but your ask was such a delight to read.

1. I honestly don't remember. I think I didn't follow the japanese boards until the eventual 699-700 disaster. People were craving for reactions and I was curious about it too lol. And well...it's been years, I doubt I'll be able to find the reactions from that time. Imo, most readers don't care much about pairings, they just wanted to read about power-ups and abilities and the basic Naruto Vs Sasuke. Though there are some backhanded jokes about how gay Naruto is for Sasuke.

2. Hah. It's going to be very anti-climatic but it was when Naruto and Sakura were eating in Ichiraku Ramen. Naruto just used Rasenshuriken against Kakuzu and he busted his arm. Sakura was healing his arm and her attention was focused on Naruto. I used to be a NaruSaku shipper so I thought "Oh hey! This is the moment that Naruto would have a candid romantic moment!" But nope. He talked about Sasuke. And I was already getting suspicious about Sasuke's feelings towards Naruto ya know? And the whole "SASUKE IS MIINEEEEEE" in Orochimaru's lair. It was that moment I thought "you only have Sasuke in your head don't you, Naruto?" and started shipping SNS.

3. Hooo boy was I surprised when it was suddenly revealed that they had the basic heteronormative, boring marriage with bunch of clones of themselves. Everyone thought that it was almost like a bad fanfiction come true and some thought that it was fake. It was a pandemonium lolololol. I also thought that it was too lame to be true and lo and behold, when it came true I was floored. And then whenever Kishimoto threw new material, I got insanely pissed off because S*arada and B*ruto becoming pairing material is ok because they are a girl and a boy, and then they paralleled with Naruto and Sasuke which are only FRIENDS because they are both men. ARGH. Open ending was what Kishimoto planned from the very beginning but wrote a sequel to earn more money.

In that aspect, I made peace with it because of the whole anime/manga industry. I learned that, as a mangaka, you don't earn a lot of money with selling books, but rather with merchandise and profiting with sales right. And that guy have a family to raise, have two kids (which is hilarious about how B*ruto movie is his self-insert story), he needs a steady income. Also, I read reports about how anime studios are so poor and animators don't receive a decent income not to mention they are overstaffed and tired, and B*ruto is a good money cow for them to earn money so they can invest later on other anime they have more passion about it. So even though I hate this story with a strength of thousands suns, they are putting meal on people's tables and making them pay rents. I'm ok.

4. Lemme roll my eyes because in the Last movie they said that Hinata is related to Kaguya and so is the Uzumaki and Uchiha clan so they are all related woo hoo. But in the aspect of brothers because reincarnations bla bla bla, didn't Naruto himself said that he's no longer that brother, he's himself? Hmm...I gotta re-read it. One day. Maybe. lol. But I'm sure that he said "Sasuke is not my brother but I'm sure we'll understand well as friends" so there. Honestly, there are a lot of interviews out there and a lot of them are fake, so I'd always take the interviews with a grain of salt lololol. I do know from artbooks that Kishimoto wanted to create Sasuke as a rival-esque character and that was it. As he was developing Sasuke and Naruto's relationship, since he liked the whole yin-yang concept, whenever he wrote Naruto's story, Sasuke's was developed at the same time as his shadow.

5. I can tell from Naruto Forums (I used to participate back in that day) MOST of the non-shippers thought it was gay as hell, but you know...it was a relic of that time. While they thought it was gay, they didn't put too much thought about you know? Because it was shounen, and we knew that it was a joke that it couldn't be taken seriously. Of course, in the SNS fandom, we did make more analysis and there were a lot of instance when Naruto and Sasuke's sexuality was questioned. Some other non-shippers also thought that Naruto was totes gay for Sasuke (including a IRL friend).

Imo, Naruto is definitely bisexual in my view. Sasuke I think he's asexual or gay. He's attracted to Naruto, but mostly because of his connection to him, not because of his physical attributes, so yeah...asexual. Or Pansexual. Sasuke is more complicated lmao. Imo, Naruto could be pansexual too, come to think about it. Yeah, I guess both being pansexual can be valid.

6. He developed Naruto and Sasuke being soulmates from the very beginning, that was proven in his comments in artbooks and in the manga. He probably created with the intention of making it purely platonic, going beyond physical ties. Then he shot himself on the foot by drawing Naruto thinking about Sasuke on bed, talking about how Sasuke is cool, meanwhile Sasuke waxing poetic about how Naruto saved him. What gives? Lol. Yeah, I think he got too enamored writing their relationship that he didn't have time to write romantic ones. What I noticed that Sakura's popularity never was really high, so I could see some editors putting their fingers all over it and making her less relevant. Also, Kishimoto didn't know how to handle her, so when she got her time to shine was the whole fake confession disaster. Coupled with Kishimoto sexism and, in his words (Kurenai's flashback), women are useful to spout more babies, women was never really relevant in his story, unfortunately. Even Kaguya who was technically the big bad boss, was never really fleshed out in comparison to Madara. So the null het romantic moments it's not because he wanted to elevate SNS moments, it's more about how he's incompetent about it. It's either Hinata slowly elevating to a relevant status because forced interaction (Pain's sacrifice and Neji's death) or Sakura being obligated to be pining over Sasuke because she's a girl. It's even more painful to see that, if we ignore B*ruto, both girls are shown to be just talking with their kids and dusting shelves, basically being housewives, even though thorough the story (especially Sakura) it was implied that both of them have much more potential than being their husband accessories.

7. It was a splotch of snot. I can confirm myself lol. Whenever the chapter is out and fans would scan it to scanlate it, the editor usually would amp up contrast to max. So usually the lines get much more thicker than usual, when you read the official release which gets straight from the source, you can notice how the lines are more delicate.

Oh lol...but then we also have a lot of controversy about translating style. THAT one is a whole new can of worms to open.

Man I had fun answering your questions! Please send more :P

[wisherbysharlight]

I Wanna Get It, I Didn't Get It, Til Now

Word Count: 4084

Pairing: Analogical

The second in a series of different pairings being capital O Oblivious because that’s a trope I will never ever get tired of.

Virgil sits at the same library table every single day, alone, until one day, Logan needs a seat.

They are both kind of idiots.

Warnings: none that I can think of

AO3 Link

Virgil loved his library table. He would get there after his work study shift in the registrar’s office, around 7pm on weekdays and 1pm on weekends, and the section on the second floor would be mostly clear. Second floor was quiet but not silent, so it didn’t feel oppressive, and he didn’t feel insecure about whether his headphones were too loud or not. His favorite table was just to the left of the water fountain, had an outlet built into it, and the chairs were adjustable enough that he could lean back and press his knees against the side of the table while he typed. He loved his table so much that he’d come even if he didn’t have homework to do, just to scroll through endless Tumblr pages or work on his personal writing. He’d had his table for 3 months with no problem at all, which was why he was baffled when someone came up to him while he was reading and stood expectantly next to the table, overly full backpack hanging off his shoulder.

 He recognized the other man immediately, he was another library regular who usually sat two tables away, always messing with his hair and adjusting his tie pushing his glasses up his nose and drawing Virgil’s eye with movement. He took his headphones down and put them around his neck, though he could still faintly hear his music, “Hi? Can I help you?”

 “The outlet is broken on my table, and I was wondering if I could join you and utilize the other half of yours?” mystery-man asked, gesturing to where Virgil was only using two of the four outlets.

 “Oh sure, of course, go ahead. Sorry about your table,” Virgil offered, brandishing his hand vaguely at the chair across from him.

 “You have nothing to apologize for, of course. I appreciate your amenity. I submitted a work order request, hopefully it will be repaired soon,” the other man took the seat and set his things down before extending a hand across the table, “Logan Perry. I believe I’ve seen you here frequently so this is at least a good opportunity to get acquainted.”

 Virgil blinked a bit, trying to process, then hurriedly pulled his hand out of the makeshift paw he’d made out of his sweatshirt sleeve and shook Logan’s hand so he wouldn’t think that Virgil didn’t want to, “Um. Yeah. I’ve seen you around too, I think. Virgil Storme. Nice to meet you.”

 Logan tipped his head to the side curiously when Virgil leaned over, as though he was listening hard, then adjusted his glasses, “Hmm. Interesting melody. I appreciate the solid bass rhythm. Who is the artist, if you don’t mind my asking?”

 “The... Artist? Oh, you mean the band I’m listening to?” he picked his headphones up but only put one ear on, “It’s Arctic Monkeys. They’re like, known, for solid bass lines, which is probably what you could hear.”

 Logan hummed like he was intrigued, then began pulling books out of his bag and… wow. That was a lot of books, each one thicker than the last. Chemistry I, Physics II, Theory of Numbers, Discrete Mathematics… Virgil had a headache just looking at the titles, “Uh… Wow. That’s some collection you’ve got there. What year are you?”

 “I am a first semester sophomore. I struggled choosing a major, so I opted to dual major in Math and Physics and minor in Philosophy and Conservation Studies. Also a minor in Astronomy, but that came with no extra courseload, just strategic choices in electives. I enjoy learning quite a bit, so I opt to stay during break semesters, and I am on track to graduate on schedule with no more than 18 credits a semester,” Logan rattled off, like he’d gone through the spiel before and was expecting certain questions and wanted to head them off, “And yes, before you ask, I do take breaks, I am not a hermit with no friends, and as far as I know I am not a robot.”

 Virgil blinked dazedly again, trying to absorb the bucketful of information being thrown at him, “Cool. Sounds like you’ve got it under control then. I’m dual-major too, but creative writing and interactive media design have a bunch of overlap.”

 Logan nodded, pulling out what must have been the notebook he was looking for with a triumphant noise, “You want to be a game designer then? Very lucrative career to choose, especially with the current market for such employs.”

“I wanna write books, actually, but like you said, markets good for game writers and I wanna have a fall back in case everything sucks, ya know?” Virgil admitted. He’d been told his stories were good, sure, but there was always a chance it would all go to shit, and the only way to account for that was to put 110% in and have a backup plan for his backup plan’s backup plan.

 Logan gave him an indecipherable look that passed in a moment before he went back to his neutral expression, “Understandable, I suppose. If you would ever like a second opinion on a piece, please allow me to offer my aid. I may not be as fluent in creative ventures, but I am a fan of such works, and my roommate often uses me as a sounding board for his own ideas.”

 Virgil tried not to let his surprise show, he didn’t want to offend his new… desk-mate? Acquaintance? Study partner? Whatever Logan was to him now. “Sure, uh, that’d be great. I don’t know if I can offer the same, since, ya know, science is really not my strong suit, but I can try?”

 Logan pushed his hand through his hair and pulled a hairtie off his wrist to pull it up into a slightly messy bun that kept his hair out of his eyes. Virgil noticed it actually looked more red than brown as the light hit it, and was so distracted he almost didn’t notice Logan offer a genuine smile, green eyes sparkling and catching Virgil off guard yet again with just how attractive he actually was, and flipped his laptop open, “That would be much appreciated Virgil. Thank you.”

 They worked together in silence for the next hour and a half, then both headed back to their dorms. Virgil felt even more productive with just Logan’s presence and aura of concentration, and he found himself hoping the work order took a while to be completed.

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The next day, Virgil arrived at his table to find Logan already there, two coffee cups in front of him, studying a tome of a textbook raptly. Still, he looked up when Virgil took his seat across from him and pushed one of the coffee cups his way, “I made myself a tea downstairs and figured I’d make a second in case you wanted one. It’s a vanilla flavored English black tea, not the garbage they serve in the dining halls.”

 Virgil grabbed the cup greedily, “Oh shit this is perfect, I had an 8am and desperately needed caffeine.” He took an experimental sip and groaned a bit as it hit his tongue, closing his eyes as the warmth passed through him like a calming fire, “Thank you, Logan, it’s delicious.” He thought he heard a choking sound, but when he looked up, Logan was looking back down at his notebook. He thought he saw a slight flush to his face, “Hey, you alright?”

 “Oh yes, I’m fine. I just needed to clear my throat,” Logan insisted, though he did not look up from his book and his cheeks got even brighter. Virgil supposed he was probably a little embarrassed since he was normally so poised and put together.

 “Ok, if you’re sure!” He opened his laptop and checked his to-do list, and was thrilled to realize he didn’t have anything urgent in terms of schoolwork. He opened his novel document instead, and immediately remembered why he’d left off where he did as the frustration resurfaced. Well, he thought, now was as good a time as ever to see if Logan meant it when he said he was willing to help. “Hey, Lo, could you help me find a word for what I’m trying to say here?”

 Logan finally looked up from his book, sticking a bookmark in and closing it before adjusting his glasses and giving Virgil his full attention, “Absolutely, I could do with a break from formulae. Go ahead.”

 Virgil felt a little off balance with the full weight of Logan’s stare, and his brain suddenly chose this moment to remind him that he was very, very gay. He cleared his throat and looked back down at his laptop so he wouldn’t be distracted, “Oh. Um. Thanks. So this guy is looking at his friend who he hadn’t really noticed in a romantic sense before, but i need a word for ‘‘momentary gay panic at how pretty he is’ without saying it like that. Like more poetic? Or just less casual.”

 Logan cleared his throat, face flushing again, and Virgil had a moment of alarm when he realized he didn’t even know if Logan was ok with LGBT stuff, and oh god, what if he was a homophobe and yelled at him or he just made him super uncomfortable or - “While romantic language is typically much more my roommate’s forte, I can certainly, er, relate, to the situation you are describing, and attempt to describe it as Roman would.”

 Virgil let out a breath he hadn’t even realized he was holding, relaxing once he realized the source of Logan’s hesitation was not derived from intolerance but instead from hitting a little too close to home. Then, in a moment of emotional whiplash, his breath caught again as he realized it hit a little too close to home and that meant Logan was likely attracted to men and that was nerve-wracking in an entirely different way. He forced himself to relax, knowing that Logan was likely waiting for an answer, and stammered out, “Y-Yeah, that would be good. Anything would help.”

 “I believe a good way to phrase it would be ‘Suddenly caught unaware by the realization that he may be attracted to this man’. You could also describe side effects of the feeling itself, such as flushed skin or quickened heartbeat or what I believe my friend Patton calls butterflies?, rather than spelling it out explicitly.”

 Virgil couldn’t hold back a grin as the inspiration hit him, “Oh! Duh! Show don’t tell would work perfect here, thank you Logan you rock!”

 He didn’t miss the way Logan looked momentarily shell-shocked and made a mental note to be sure to give him more compliments in the future, if he was that maladjusted to them.

 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Virgil hissed as his pencil broke again, clicking the end to get more lead a bit more aggressively than he probably needed to. Calculus was the devil, he’d decided. He was in hell and series and sequences were his instrument of torture.

 Logan cleared his throat and Virgil’s head shot up in surprise. When had Logan gotten there? Oh good, tea, that was always welcome. He grabbed the cup Logan extended towards him and started chugging before Logan could even give him the usual background on what kind it was like he had every day for the past month. The other table was definitely fixed by now, but the two of them had gotten so used to the company that they’d just kept sitting together. “Virgil, are you… alright?” Logan asked tentatively, and Virgil looked up again, guilty and a bit crazy eyed.

 “Fuck that was so rude. Yes. Yes, I’m fine, sorry, thanks for the tea Lo, I’m just stressed about this godforsaken calc II exam I have Monday. I don’t understand any of this stuff,” he gestured to the packets and notebook and textbook spread out on the table.

 “That’s quite alright, I’m familiar with the stress of midterms. Though I may be able to help alleviate some of yours? I am a junior TA for Calc II, I could potentially provide assistance,” Logan offered.

 Virgil let out a breath of relief, twisting one of his rings in an attempt to quell some of his nervous energy, “Oh that would be incredible. My Grad TA’s office hours are during when I have work, and he’s kinda a dick anyway.”

 Logan exhaled heavily like he was trying not to laugh. “Chad, I assume?” he asked and Virgil nodded, “Well I can definitely be more helpful than that glorified orangutan.” It was Virgil’s turn to be startled into laughing, “Here, let me see what you’re working on....”

 An hour and a half later, Logan was watching him work carefully and when he tentatively circled his final answer he gave him an encouraging nod and a smile, “You’ve got it now. See, it’s all about the rules and the patterns.”

 “Oh Logan I could kiss you,” Virgil enthused, still looking in amazement at his own work, “You just saved my entire life, thank you.”

 Logan cleared his throat and turned away, though when Virgil looked up he could see that the tips of his ears were red. Ugh, you’d think after a month he’d be used to being complimented by now. “Well, if that was all, I, er, I need to work on some of my own assignments.”

 “Yeah, yeah, of course, I can do more practice myself,” Virgil told him, waving him away with a smile, “You’ve absolutely helped enough,  I’ll get you that jam you like so much or something. I owe you so much.” 

 Logan mumbled something in return but when Virgil asked him to repeat it he stammered, “I’ll be right back!” and ran off to the bathroom. Virgil shrugged and went back to puzzling through the rest of his study guide.

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“-so, theoretically, there could in fact be another planet in this solar system, but it would need to be far enough away or small enough to not affect the gravitational pull of Pluto’s moons in a significant way or just in a way which is balanced by another gravitational pull which forced our equations to not identify any irregularity.”

 “Well shit,” Virgil breathed, “So, theoretically, how possible are aliens?”

 “Damn close to guaranteed,” Logan told him with a grin, “Intelligent life, that’s another story, but I still believe they are highly likely-”

 Virgil set his head in his hands, pushing his work to the side so he could simply listen.

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“I’m going to head down to the cafeteria to make another cup of tea, would you like to join me?”

 “Sure thing, Lo, I desperately need to not look at this anymore.” Virgil felt a teeny bit of pride when Logan choked on nothing in what Virgil assumed was shock as he stood up to stretch and revealed his outfit, his heels giving him the extra three inches he needed to be what Remy called scary tall, which was actually enough to effectively tower over Logan, and the confidence to leave his sweatshirt unzipped over a mesh crop top and ripped jeans that he knew looked good, as he had been assured so around 100 times before he agreed to go to the library in it in the first place, “Sorry, forgot you got here after me, my friend’s playing a show tonight after this and I told him I’d hang with his boyfriend and make sure no one gets obnoxious. So I got a little dressed up, cuz I didn’t wanna have to go back to my apartment in between. Besides, when I’m this tall no one fucks with me in general, not just in the mosh pit.”

 “That is… certainly an outfit,” Logan wheezed, then took a sip of his water in an attempt to wash it down.

 “You ok L? You’re all red, I don’t need you dying on me,” Virgil asked, concerned his friend was actually drowning on his own water bottle.

 Logan waved him off, gulping water down like he’d been stuck in the desert for days. “Yes, yes, just a little, erm, parched. Got a bit too focused and forgot to drink and you startled me.”

 “Whatever you say, Professor,” Virgil teased, stretching his arms up to try to roll his shoulders, “Just don’t get too enthusiastic there. Last thing we need is you to choke to death cuz you were thirsty.”

 Logan seemed to make a concentrated effort not to choke again, adjusting his tie and turning on his heel quickly to head down to the cafe, and Virgil considered it a win.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There was someone else at their table. The new man was broad shouldered, with dirty blonde hair that had just a bit of a beachy wave to it, skin tanned perfectly like he’d never spent a day out of the sun. How was that even possible? They went to school in Massachusetts and it was January. He was gesturing wildly while he spoke and Logan was doing that half-laugh he did when he thought something was funny but didn’t want to admit it and Virgil felt… something… pang deep in his stomach. Of course, Logan was ridiculously hot, Virgil had no chance at all, even if he’d been starting to feel like there was something between them. He definitely didn’t have a chance if Logan wanted someone that looked like that. He couldn’t help but be a little vindictive though as he plastered a smile onto his face and headed over, setting his bag down with a resounding thump, “Wow, this quiet corner just keeps getting more crowded, huh?”

 Logan startled a bit, and Virgil could have been imagining it but he thought he saw a flash of hurt at Virgil’s tone, “I-I suppose. This is Roman, he needed some assistance with his screenplay and I suggested he come here, but we can go back to our apartment if it will be too much of a nuisance for you.”

 Virgil would have eaten his own shoe to take back his original words, but he couldn’t, so he covered up as best he could, “R-Roman. Your roommate. Of course. Hi, I’m Virgil, you can definitely stay. Sorry, just had a long day at work, I’m a little - er- cranky, or whatever.”

 Roman gave him a smirk that was just a tad too knowing for Virgil’s taste, “Don’t worry, Mr. Prince of Darkness. I’ll be out of your hair soon and you two can get back to doing whatever the hell it is you do every day. Just need the human thesaurus here to help me out a bit, and it’s not like he’s ever home anymore with how often he hangs around here for your little study-”

 “Roman,” Logan hissed quickly, and Virgil saw Roman shoot him an unimpressed look.

 “Study sessions.” Roman finished, “Now come on Pocket Protector, what’s another word for pining. I’ve already used it twice, and longing and yearning are both not quite a right fit.” Virgil had a momentary thought that Roman should be very glad looks couldn’t kill, with how Logan was glaring him down. “Nothing? How about some flowery language for black hair or blue eyes, hmm? Think you can help me there?”

“Roman Michaels.” Logan bit out, and Roman gave him a bright, shit-eating grin.

 “No? How about helping me with a sweatshirt sharing scene, how about that? I mean, it’s a cliche, sure, but I’m sure we can put a spin on it, like make it clearly well used and important...”

 “I will dye your hair fluorescent orange in your sleep Roman, I swear,” Logan seethed, and Virgil was stock still, eyes wide as they darted between the two roommates.

 ”Maybe some music recommendations then? Those are slightly less cliche…”

 “Destroy your conditioner and hide your blow dryer, add cheap hair gel to all your shampoo,” Logan continued, attempting to speak over him.

 “I know you’ll suggest a height difference, I believe I can fit that in,” Roman’s voice was rising too, and the new occupants of Logan’s old table were firing dirty looks at them.

 “Guys?” Virgil asked quietly and both of the roommates stopped immediately, turning to him with fire in their eyes, “Um. I guess this is like... a touchy subject? But people are staring cuz you guys are sorta… loud.”

 Roman and Logan both flushed brightly, turning to give awkward waves to the other table while Virgil tried to comprehend what had just happened, “So like… Logan you’re pretty passionate about Roman’s screenplay, huh?”

 Roman groaned dramatically and shoved his laptop in his bag, standing abruptly. “I can’t believe there’s two people as oblivious as you,” he muttered like a curse, then almost literally flounced off with a clearly meaningful look shot at Logan that Virgil couldn’t quite figure out but made Logan flush brighter.

 It was silent for a couple minutes, just the taptaptap of Virgil’s pen against his notebook sounding out through the space between them, before Virgil couldn’t take it and spoke up, “You wanna talk about why that was a thing for you or nah?”

 “Y-You don’t know? Seriously?” Logan looked incredulous, then laughed a little to himself, “Virgil. He was teasing me.”

 “Teasing you? About what?” Virgil asked, trying to think through what it could possibly be, “You that against, like, cheesy romcom cliches?”

 Logan shook his head, still looking like Virgil had amazed him in some way, “Virgil. Please. Think about it. Black hair, blue eyes, height difference, well-worn sweatshirts and music recommendations. You don’t have any idea what he could possibly be mocking me for?”

 Virgil’s brow creased in thought, and suddenly it hit him and he audibly gasped, making Logan swallow nervously, and the word pining soared to the front of his mind, “Y-You. You mean?”

 “I am… Interested in you Virgil. Romantically. I have been since far before I ever sat at your table, the broken outlet just provided a good excuse for me to finally attempt to talk to you. Roman was… blunt but he had informed me that he was, and I quote, ‘Coming to see what the fuss was about’ after I got, I admit, a bit too in depth in lamenting my inability to ask you out on a date. I had no idea he would be so infuriatingly obtuse about it, I hope he did not make you uncomfortable. Obviously, you do not share the sentiment-”

 “Whoa whoa. Hold on there. Who said I didn’t?” Virgil cut in quickly before Logan could keep babbling, recognizing social anxiety when he saw it, “Cuz I sure didn’t.”

 “...I’m sorry?”

 “You should be. Can’t go assuming stuff about people, L. Now why don’t you ask me, straightforward, if I am interested. Because I can guarantee you will like the answer.”

 Logan cleared his throat, then swallowed thickly, his cheeks lightly pink, “Well then, Virgil, I like you very much and would like to know if you would like to accompany me to dinner this Friday night? As a date?”

 “I’ll do you one better, since I also very much like you back, and I don’t think my anxiety could take waiting that long. Let’s go get some food right now. I’m starving and I would very much like to kiss you and I want to get at least one date in before I totally ruin your opinion of me and do that right here in this library, and Friday can be our second date, deal?” Virgil offered, extending his hand across the table to Logan.

 Logan grasped his hand and brought it up to his lips, pressing a kiss to his knuckles with a heady glance up through his glasses, “V, I think you will find that there is not much that you could do which I would not fully endorse at this moment. But I absolutely accept this proposal. Let’s go.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 5 years later, almost exactly to the day, Roman is insufferable during his best man speech about the fact that he is the reason they even got together in the first place, and insists that if left to their own devices they would still be meeting at 7pm on weeknights and 1pm on weekends at a table in the corner of the library with the good chairs and never, ever confessing their love. Logan and Virgil are too busy clinging to each others’ hands and staring into each others’ eyes to dispute it at all.

[sunsetcurveofficial]

So with the prompt thing, can you do the bedhead one with Ruke? Would much appreciate it lol

oh my god. i am SO sorry, love. i swear i did not mean to ignore you. tumblr must have eaten your message, because i genuinely did not see it until today. here it is, though, and it’s extra long to make up for it. hope you like it. xx

also available on ao3

“Your bed head is really cute.”

--------------

Luke has always had messy hair. No matter how often he tries to fix it throughout the day, somehow a few minutes later it always looks dishevelled again. But here’s the thing. Reggie loves Luke’s messy hair. He would never admit it, of course, but the messier Luke’s hair is, the more he enjoys watching him. So, naturally, he’s also taken it upon himself to ruffle it whenever he gets a chance. Luke always swats his hands away, shoves him, and glares as he tries to fix it again, but Reggie merely laughs and definitely does not think about how cute Luke looks. Luke is his friend and Reggie loves messing with him. That’s all, honestly. It’s all fun and games until Reggie wakes up next to him for the first time, anyway. 

His parents were fighting again, so Reggie snuck out in the middle of the night and showed up at the first place that came to mind. Luke’s. And Luke hugged him, didn’t make him talk, and they listened to music together until they fell asleep. Together. In Luke’s bed. 

So, Reggie is a little disoriented when he wakes up with his head somehow nestled under Luke’s arm, one of his own slung around his friend’s waist. He feels something flutter in his chest when he realises, and it gets even worse when he notices how warm and comfortable he is. He never thought about sharing a bed with Luke before, and much less waking up next to him, but he finds that he actually made it through without any nightmares for once, instead feeling like he is exactly where he should be, which hasn’t happened in a very long time. It’s nice. 

Luke blinks his eyes open shortly after, grinning the moment he spots Reggie, who still has his face squished against a pillow under Luke’s arm. He hasn’t removed his own arm from Luke’s body either. 

“Morning, bro,” Luke says around a yawn, reaching out to flick Reggie’s nose. He scrunches it up, wiping a hand over it when Luke draws his hand back and laughs. He sits up to look at the time, and Reggie follows suit, his arm dropping from Luke’s waist, albeit a little regrettably. His eyes wander over his friend as Luke turns back to him to inform him that it’s just past 10am, and he can’t help it. He giggles delightedly as he takes in the way Luke’s hair looks even wilder than he has ever seen it before. Not even after a gig. It’s standing up in every direction, the strands falling into his eyes and looking twice as voluminous as usual. He looks adorable. Reggie does realise that’s an odd thought to have about your bro, but he can’t help it. 

Luke frowns, self-consciously scratching at the back of head as Reggie keeps eyeing him, giggles erupting from his chest. 

“What?” Luke asks, running a hand over his mouth. “Did I drool in my sleep or something?” 

Reggie shakes his head. 

“No. Sorry. It’s just… your bed head is really cute.” 

He blushes the moment the words leave his mouth and he can’t believe he actually said that. Surely Luke will never let him live that one down. Luke’s blush is almost more adorable than his bed hair, and Reggie figures he should probably have a good think about what exactly it is he’s feeling for Luke. It’s not normal to find your best bro quite so cute, is it? 

“Cute?” Luke asks, voice so high pitched it almost sounds like a shriek. “I’m not cute.” He pouts. 

Reggie can’t help it. How is he supposed to just shrug it off when Luke is sitting right there next to him looking like a kicked puppy that is most certainly cute, even if he tries to be all cool and intimidating most of the time. 

“Duh huh. Yeah, you are,” Reggie says, because now that it’s out he might as well just roll with it. 

“Am not,” Luke insists, and Reggie kind of really wants to kiss the pout off his face. Okay, right. He definitely needs to talk to Alex. 

In hindsight, Reggie really doesn’t know why he does it. He’s not even that impulsive of a person. If anything, Luke is the impulsive one of the two. And he’s a little horrified at himself when he leans in and kisses the tip of Luke’s nose. He blushes when he draws back, and kind of wants the ground to swallow him whole, but Luke looks so startled, his beautiful eyes so wide and his cheeks so red that Reggie feels a little comforted and manages to shrug it off with a grin. He’s done it, he can’t take it back, so he might as well pretend to be confident about it. 

Luke keeps sitting there mumbling something like “What the hell, bro?” under his breath and stares at him even as Reggie gets dressed. He really needs to talk to Alex. 

“You can close your mouth now, Luke. Otherwise you might accidentally swallow a fly or something,” Reggie says with a grin, running a hand through his hair in front of the mirror to fix his own bed head. Luke does close his mouth, but keeps sitting there looking flustered. Reggie has never seen him like that before, and it does all sorts of funny things to his chest. The mighty Luke Patterson, finally brought to his knees by Reggie Peter’s strange new impulsiveness. Huh. 

“I’m gonna go meet Alex. See you later, babe,” Reggie tells him, and he swears Luke’s jaw drops right open again. Babe? Honestly, Reggie is on fire today. 

+++

“Reg? What are you doing here? It’s 11am!” Alex says when he opens the door. Reggie half walked, half ran to get to his house, so he feels slightly out of breath. He thinks he probably looks a little disheveled as well, if Alex’s worried look is anything to go by. 

“Are you okay? Did something happen?” 

“Not sure,” Reggie manages to say, panting a little. “Maybe?” 

Alex narrows his eyes at him.

“Okay? Well, come in. We can talk in my room.” 

He leads Reggie inside and up to his room. Reggie feels the questions bubbling under his skin, itching to get out, so he jumps right into it as soon as Alex’s door is closed behind them. 

“Do you think Luke’s messy hair is cute?” he asks. Alex looks a little taken aback, a faint blush growing on his cheeks. 

“I mean… yeah? It’s cute enough. Why?” 

“Because I think it’s cute. But that’s not normal, is it? I mean, I think about it constantly. And this morning I woke up next to him because my parents fought last night, and— have you seen his bed head?” 

Alex tilts his head, something like recognition reaching his eyes as he watches Reggie pace as he keeps rambling about Luke’s hair. Reggie pauses for a moment to frown at him, but jumps right back in when the itching gets too bad. “So, I told him it’s cute. And I don’t know why I did that, because it’s weird, right? And Luke pouted, you know, that adorable puppy pout of his? Well, and then I found myself thinking that I would very much like to kiss it off, and that’s— I mean, that can’t be— What does it mean, Alex? I’m kinda freaking out a little bit.” 

Alex snorts, and his frown is replaced by an amused look and a knowing smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. Reggie finds it a little irritating. Alex should just tell him what it all means instead of smiling like he knows something Reggie doesn’t. 

“I can see that,” Alex says dryly. Reggie wants to kick him. “Well, Reg. It sounds like you got a crush on Luke, dude.” 

Reggie doesn’t have a crush on Luke. Luke is not a girl. Therefore Reggie can’t have a crush on him. Can he? No, wait. That’s a stupid thought to have. Alex is a boy who exclusively has crushes on other boys. Reggie thinks it over for a moment. He remembers Luke’s hair. He remembers sleeping in his arms. He remembers his pout, and his big hazel eyes. He also remembers his voice, and the way he gets all excited when he writes music. Or worse, when he plays his guitar on stage. Okay. So he does have a crush on Luke. That’s new. And interesting.

“Oh,” he says. “I have a crush on Luke? Oh my god! I have a crush on Luke! I’m gay, too?” 

Alex chuckles fondly. Reggie is a little offended about his amusement while he’s having a sexuality crisis, thank you very much. 

“I don’t think you are, bro. You still like girls, don’t you?” 

Reggie thinks that over for a moment as well and comes to the conclusion that yes, he definitely does. 

“Yes. But how can that…?” 

Alex shrugs. 

“You can like whoever you want, Reg. Like Bowie. He says he’s bisexual, because he likes both men and women.” 

Reggie’s eyes light up. Like Bowie? He’s like David Bowie? Well, that’s pretty neat, he thinks. 

“I didn’t even know that was a thing!” he says, smiling delightedly. “I’d love to be more like Bowie. Ha! Bowie, man!” 

Alex smiles happily, getting up from his bed to pull Reggie into a hug. 

“I’m glad you told me, bro. Finally someone to talk about boys with!” 

Reggie laughs. He likes that prospect. 

“Oh my god! Yes. Thank you for helping me figure it out, Alex. I’m a little terrified, I think, but it’s cool. I’ve got you.” 

Alex shoves him playfully, his eyes searching Reggie’s as he puts his knowing grin back on. 

“So what are you gonna do about Luke?” he asks. In his excitement, Reggie has almost forgotten about him. Even though Luke is the sole reason why he’s at Alex’s in the first place, and Luke generally doesn’t have a tendency to leave Reggie’s mind for extended periods of time.

“Luke! That’s right. Oh. Well… you think he might like me back?” 

Reggie isn’t so sure. They couldn’t all like boys, could they? He isn’t sure why he thinks that, though. And Luke blushed rather adorably earlier, after all. 

“I think your chances are better than you think,” Alex says, and Reggie swears he knows something he doesn’t again, “You gotta tell him, dude!” 

Reggie hums. 

“I mean… he did get really flustered when I accidentally kissed him on the nose this morning,” he muses. Alex raises his eyebrows at him. 

“You accidentally…” He snorts. “Only you, Reg.” 

+++

Luke is already at the studio when Reggie arrives for practice that afternoon. Alex and Bobby aren’t there yet, and Luke blushes the moment he sees Reggie. Grinning, Reggie walks right over to him and presses a smooch to his cheek. 

“Hi, babe,” he says casually. Luke visibly splutters, looking even more flustered than he did in the morning, and Reggie absolutely revels in it. 

“Why do you keep calling me that?” Luke squeaks, nearly dropping his guitar as he tries to place it on its stand. Reggie shrugs. 

“Because I like it. And you are. A babe, I mean.” 

Luke looks like his head is about to explode, he’s blushing that hard. It’s the funniest thing Reggie has ever seen, because Luke Patterson is nothing if not confident. His nonchalance, however, is nowhere to be found now. 

“Wh— what?” 

Reggie grins and steps closer, right into Luke’s space. Their noses are almost touching, and Luke’s eyes are impossibly wide when Reggie meets them. He can feel his breath on his lips. 

“Would you mind if I kissed you?” he asks. He doesn’t know when he became the confident one between the two, but he’s enjoying it way more than he should, probably. 

“What?” Luke squeaks again, and Reggie really has to force himself to hold back until Luke gives his consent. Reggie doesn’t want to make him uncomfortable. “Why?” 

Reggie chuckles and nudges his nose against Luke’s. The other boy doesn’t back off, and he takes that as a good sign. 

“Because I like you, man. Very much so. And it’s not just because I think your bed head is cute, although that is a bonus.” 

Luke kisses him. Well, that was easier than he expected. Reggie’s hands come up to Luke’s hair as he kisses him back, starting out softly but quickly becoming a little more frantic as they’re both pushing and pulling at each other. It seems that Luke is regaining his confidence, and Reggie likes that just as much as he likes him all flustered. 

“You haven’t seen your bed head, babe,” Luke breathes as he pulls away after what feels like a blissful eternity. Luke emphasises the pet name, and Reggie chuckles, feeling himself blush a little for change today. 

“So, are we in love, then?” Reggie asks bluntly. He figures there is no point in beating around the bush. The more he looks at Luke looking all kissed and dishevelled, especially his hair that Reggie managed to mess up just perfectly, the more he knows that he is so in love with his best friend, and he doesn’t understand why he didn’t realise it before. 

Luke laughs out loud, looking fond as he reaches out to pat Reggie’s cheek. 

“Yes, you dork. We are so in love.” 

And then he kisses him again, and it’s the best thing in the world. They only part when Alex and Bobby appear in the studio, one of them hooting while the other makes gagging noises. Reggie doesn’t care all that much. He keeps his eyes locked on Luke for the entirety of their rehearsal, his chest fluttering when he remembers why Luke’s hair looks especially messy today, and that he’s directly responsible for it. 

It’s even better when Luke meets his eyes and smiles back at him, though.

-   End.   - 

[mermaidsirennikita]

Can I say if they’re only having one lgbt Bridgerton sibling I hope it’s Eloise. I feel like I’ve occasionally seen mlm in period dramas or historical pieces but writers are always so reluctant to write honest, intimate, interesting wlw stories. I’d love to see a nice lesbian romance story front and center. Also Phillip is boring af

HAHAHA, I literally cackled at the last bit.  Sorry to say, I don’t have any kind of active dislike for Philip x Eloise, but I did find him very dull when I read the book.  (And yes....  to those reading, I’ve read every one of those books, and I found Eloise’s boring.  It could use some spice.  I’m not just going off of a show-only perspective here.). 

But yeah, I agree.  And the thing is that I promise you the people who are being ugly about the idea of a lesbian Eloise, a genderbent Phillip, are going to come out and list every single wlw period piece known to man.... as if there are many.  Ever since the Merchant Ivory legacy of Maurice, however, I tend to feel like men have gotten the focus?  And that’s also reflective of the fact that mlm stories are often focused upon more in media, in part recently due to the trend of straight women fetishizing mlm relationships....  But that’s another issue entirely.

Sapphic women are not often given their dues in fiction, and certainly not in historical fiction--even in a very LGBT+ friendly show like Black Sails, the canonical lesbian (Max) was.... gang-raped and had relationships with two women who both valued men above her.  I mean, other shit happened to her too, but I’ve noticed that people ignore those issues because the mlm ship got its day.

There’s also a really interesting history of RL queer women to draw from.  For example, there’s the “Gentleman Jack” story.  Anne Lister and Ann Walker were essentially one of the first lesbian married couples in England, and though of course there is the series Gentleman Jack focusing on them, it’s more of a romantic drama than a true romance.  This is based on real women, after all, and their story was fraught and complicated.  But they did end up together until Anne Lister died!  Not all queer women had to end their stories parted and married to men as they thought back to......... that summer......... 

In fact, there’s a not-uncommon thread of ladies that lived together as “companions” and really didn’t get a lot of shit because of their social standings and the fact that spinsters living together was not THAT weird.  Honestly?  Considering the cloaked nature of female sexuality in the Bridgertonverse, it makes a fuck ton of sense for Eloise to be able to fall in love with a lady and keep it an open secret, especially with the help of the brother she was always connected with, Benedict.

It doesn’t have to be an either-or, of course; I think we cynically assume so because TV.  And my instinct is honestly that if ONE of them is going to gay or bi, it’ll be Eloise.  

[dearest-bucky]

Put a little love on me (1/2)

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Bucky Barnes has come a long way in life, but when it comes to sleep, there will always be struggle.

Words: 3.4K

Warnings: None really?

A/n: The second and final part of this will be posted tonight, so stay tuned!

Originally posted: January 26, 2020

Bucky Barnes is a strong man. Perhaps one of the strongest men who ever walked the Earth. I mean, he fought a war, then lived almost a century tortured by Hydra, only to be free from them but live another torturing version of his life, having to fight all kinds of monsters and aliens on daily basis. But if anyone told Bucky he was a strong person, he would just laugh in their faces, disbelief written on his own.

Sure, he is proud of how far he’s come. Being thrown into a whole new era and relearning how to do everything, is not something everyone does. And for the most part he succeeds in it. He has learned almost all about the life in this new century, from the new food, technology, new behaviors, new customs, new ways of dating, all of it.

All of it, except sleeping. While he has picked up on some kind of normalcy in all those things, sleep is the one thing he can’t learn how to do anymore. Maybe it has to do with the fact that he spent a whole lot of time in the cryo machine, and that is sleeping too, maybe it has to do with the fact that whenever he closes his eyes and tries to sleep, all the terrors come back to him in full force, refusing to leave him alone. So even after years of living his new life, he still couldn’t find a solution for his sleeping problem.

And he had tried anything, therapy, medications, chamomile tea, yoga, even those podcasts Sam suggested would help; you name it. But nothing had worked so far. He could only get 2 or 3 hours of sleep per week, and that was only when he passed out from exhaustion.

He thought he was losing his mind. He was desperate for a couple hours of peaceful sleep, but he was so out of options he didn’t know what else to do.

It was one afternoon in the lab with Tony, where he was working in his arm, updating it after some little malfunctions, where the Iron Man gave him the idea that would literally save his life.

“You look like shit, Tin man.” Tony commented nonchalantly noticing the dark circles under Bucky’s eyes.

Bucky scoffed in surprise, but he knew that there was no malice  in Tony’s words, so he took no offense.

“Have you slept at all?”

“Yeah, I think I had a solid 4 hours of sleep.” Bucky’s reply was short, tired.

“For the night?”

“For the week.”

Tony’s eyes widened, he felt sorry for the Soldier, his exhaustion was apparent in his face, eyes lifeless, with dark circles, displaying  all of his sorrows for everyone who would just spare him a look.

“You know what helps me when I have problems sleeping?” Tony continued working on his arm while talking, and Bucky met his eyes for a second, silently urging him to go on.

“Holding Pep.” He said dreamily. “Just being in her arms, or having her in my arms, holding each other close for the rest of the night, that helps me every time. I sleep like a baby whenever she’s with me.”

He was wearing a smile on his face and Bucky couldn’t help but let a small smile slip from his lips. He always loved how Tony and Pepper were with each other, Pepper always grounding him, keeping him with his feet on the ground, taking care of him, and Tony doing the same for her. But when he thought of himself, his smile dropped instantly.

He wished he could have someone love him like Tony had Pepper, but that was just something not bound to happen for him anymore. Maybe before the war,  that would be possible, but now… Now he couldn’t think of anyone who would want to be with him. A monster like him, he thought.

He was lost in his head when Tony patted his shoulder gently to let him know his work was done. “Thanks Tony.” He said in a small voice and got up from the chair he was sitting to leave the lab.

“Anytime.” Tony called after him. “Think of what I said though.”

Bucky just shook his head and left the room.

If only it was that easy….

***

He hates soft beds, but ever since that conversation with Tony in his lab, he has been thinking maybe the idea wasn’t so crazy. So what he didn’t have someone to hold close? So what no one could ever love him or want to sleep in the same bed with him and help him with his nightmares?

He would simply have to improvise. And improvise he did.

That night he placed two pillows with him in his bed, one to put his head on, and another fluffy one to hug close to his chest, imagining it was another person’s comforting presence. He sighed in the pillow and closed his eyes, waiting for the terrors to come, but only when he woke up in the morning rested, he was so surprised to see that it had worked. If only it was a real person there with him, but either way, it had still worked.

When he joined the others in the kitchen for breakfast, everyone could see his relaxed expression, something no one was used to see in him. He even joked with Sam at one point and it left everyone on the team shocked to see this new side of Bucky.

This thing went on for three weeks and with his improved sleeping habits, everything was improving too. He was very efficient in training, Steve even gave him the job to train some new Sh.I.E.L.D agents in hand to hand combat.

It was another rather quiet day in the compound and most of the team were just hanging out in the common room, chatting with each other about anything and everything, when Tony and Steve entered the room, quite serious, standing out from the other people there almost immediately with their stiff postures.

“What’s going on?” Natasha was the first to notice them.

Everyone else’s attention turned to the two men and waited for them to speak.

“We just got some intel, Hydra base needs infiltration. There is this base in Kiev where they seem to be producing some kind of dangerous weapons. We need to stop them as soon as possible.” Steve was the one to explain everything to the team.

“Okay, so when do we leave?” This time was Sam who chimed in with the question.

“We don’t.” Tony interjected. “Due to its dangerous nature of this mission, it should be very secret. So we’re going to send only a duo there to do the work. Of course the rest of the team will be ready to come to help at any time, but it is very important to not draw attention on us by everyone going.”

“Okay, so who will go?”

Steve shifted on his feet, seemingly a little uncomfortable, before he spoke again.

“Y/n is a spy, she is fast and they won’t see her coming. Her abilities are essential to the mission and its success.”

Only when she heard her name, y/n actually picked up her head to finally look at the rest of the team.

“Okay, I can do that.” She said simply, a peace in her voice, almost unfit for the situation. “Who’s going with me?”

“Yeah, I’m glad you asked that.” Steve spoke again. “We gave this a good thought and we decided that Bucky is the best option to go with you. I mean, you compliment each other’s abilities and every time you’ve been paired together it’s been a success, so yeah..”

Y/n shifted her eyes from Steve to Bucky, and then to Steve again. “Okay.” She said softly with a nod of her head. “Yeah, that will do.”

Bucky hadn’t said a word yet, he was just looking each and every member of the team one after one. No emotion in his eyes, just observing them.

“I’m glad you’ve been resting a lot more lately Manchurian Candidate.” Tony’s voice was heard. “You won’t be getting any for the next two days.”

“When do we leave?” It was Bucky’s only question.

“Tomorrow at dawn. The mission is supposed to be a simple in and out. Get everything you can on those weapons and burn the shithole to the ground. Tony booked a hotel for you in Kiev where you can spend the night and rest before you head back home.”

After all the other details were discussed and everything was set out, y/n decided she was going to head to bed soon that night, considering she had to wake up early for the mission. Not long after that, Bucky did the same, bidding their good night’s to the rest of the team.

***

5 am and they were both in the jet, flying to Kiev. The flight would be at least a few hours, so they had time to kill in the meanwhile. Bucky was silently cleaning some of his knifes and y/n was watching him discreetly from the other side of the jet, while pretending to play away in her phone.

Bucky and y/n’s relationship was a simple one. They were teammates, and on Bucky’s good days they could even be considered friends, they would talk and watch movies and hang out, but it was always with other people around. Their chemistry was only fully displayed on the field, where they’d both fight side by side the bad guys and become the most efficient pair of the team. But that was the end of it.

Bucky was a closed of person, he saw himself as a total mess, unworthy to be with anyone because of his past and that didn’t help with socialization that much.

Y/n on the other hand wasn’t any better. She was a delight to be with, but after having her heart broken by her first and only love, it was like she had swore off men, so she never gave anyone a chance to get to know her, to spend time with her as more than just friends. With the other men of the team she had set a solid relationship, Tony and Bruce were her father figures, Steve and Clint were her brothers, and Sam was “the gay best friend” and he wasn’t even gay. With Bucky it was different. The fact that he didn’t hang out with the others that much helped in her situation. She didn’t want to complicate things with anyone, but most importantly didn’t want to get close to any man again. One heart break was enough in a life time.

It was hours later when they arrived in their destination and prepared themselves for what was about to come. They knew it was dangerous, but it was their job. It should be done.

After killing their way through the entire base of enemies, taking what they needed and blowing the place to hell they could finally go to the hotel Steve told them about and get a good rest for the night.

Y/n opened the door and entered their room and Bucky followed behind, head hanging low. Only when he collided with her smaller figure, he finally picked his head up.

She had stopped walking and was staring at the room. “What’s wrong?”

“Um..” she cleared her throat. “There’s only one bed in here. I.. um, I think there’s been a mistake.”

He finally looked up to see what she meant and he saw in front on him only a king sized bed in the center of the room, two little nightstands in the sides, and a small table at the end of the room, no chairs or anything else. He opened another door that was inside the room, only to be met with the small toilet.

“It has a bath tub.” He commented dryly.

Y/n just sighed in frustration and shook her head. “I’m going back to the reception to ask if there’s a mistake, or see if they have another empty room.” With that she was out of there.

Bucky let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. She was clearly repulsed by the idea of having to share a bed with him and the worst part is he couldn’t even blame her for that. Who would want to be close to a disgusting person like him anyway?

If only he knew…

After talking to the guy at the reception desk again and asking if they had another room, she came out empty handed. She made her way back to the room she had to share with Bucky. How could she even survive a night sleeping in the same bed with him? She was sure he didn’t even want her there? Who would want her anyway? Not even the guy who promised to marry her did. He left her at the altar for another woman. She simply wasn’t a lovable person. So how could she expect Bucky to be okay with sharing a bed with her? If only she didn’t have a tinyyyyy little crush on the man, maybe it would hurt less.

When she entered the room again she didn’t find Bucky there, but her mind got the answer as soon as she heard the water running in the bathroom.

She waited patiently for him to finish so she could have a shower too. When he came out of the bath, the breath was almost knocked out of her lungs. He was almost naked, except for a white towel hanging dangerously low from his hips, his hair was still wet, droplets of water falling on the floor, and his broad shoulders and large chest…

“Shit, I’m so sorry.” Bucky was the first one to apologize as soon as he saw her standing there. “I thought you found another room and wasn’t coming back, otherwise I’d let you use the shower first.”

“They, um…”  It was getting hard for y/n to form any coherent sentences while Bucky was right there in front of her, in his half naked post shower glistening glory. “There were no other rooms available.” She finished quickly. “Can I…?” She trailed and motioned to the bathroom.

“Yeah, yeah. Sure.” Bucky was quick to get out of her way and she made it to the bathroom in three short steps, not before grabbing her duffle bag from the floor and closing the door behind her. She took a quick shower and got dressed in a hurry, only toweling her hair from the excess water and leaving it to dry naturally.

When she went back to the room, to her surprise she found Bucky laying on the floor on the side of the bed, a pillow under his head and a small blanket covering him.

“What are you doing there?” She asked him narrowing her eyes.

“Sleeping.” His answer was barely a whisper, she could have almost missed it if she wasn’t so focused on him. Her heart broke at the sight. Of course he would be sleeping on the floor. Any place was better than sleeping next to her. It shouldn’t have hurt that much, but it did.  She blinked away the tears that were starting to form on her eyes, and steadied her voice to speak again.

“You cannot sleep on the floor Bucky. I can’t let you do that. Your shoulder will hurt and you’ll be in pain in the morning and I..”  she was beginning to ramble at this point, but she couldn’t control her words anymore.

Bucky lifted his head from the pillow and looked back at her with soft eyes.

“It’s okay, I am used to sleeping on hard surfaces. Besides, I couldn’t take the bed for myself and let you sleep on the floor.”

There he goes. Of course one of them has to sleep on the floor. There is no other option.

“I mean..” she averted her eyes for a second from him to the bed and then to him again. “It’s a very large bed, we could both sleep there.” She could feel her face flushing with embarrassment. The words had left her mouth without really thinking and she regretted them already.

Bucky’s eyes widened for a second and then he smiled at her sweetly. “You don’t want to sleep in the same bed with me doll.” He said almost whispering and her head snapped to face him when she heard the pet name roll of his lips.

If she was blushing before, she was certain to be crimson red after hearing him call her ‘doll’. But his words also gave her a boost of confidence she so needed at the moment.

She walked in the direction of the bed and when he thought she was hopping on it, she knelt on the floor before Bucky.

“Get up from the floor and let’s go to sleep on the bed. It’s big enough for the both of us.” She said in a low voice, but left no room for arguing. As if she just cast a spell on him to follow her every order. At that moment he would have done anything she’d ask him to. Without questions. Without any second thoughts.

They got in the bed and laid  down on their respective sides. The bed was large enough to allow a respectable space between them, but despite it, they could both feel the warmth coming from the other’s body. Bucky turned off the light and they laid on their sides, facing each other, only the moonlight allowing them to make out each other’s features on the otherwise dark room.

“You did great out there today.” Bucky was the first to break the silence and he could have sworn he heard her smile.

“Thanks. You too.” She replied and he chuckled deeply.

He wanted to say more to her, but couldn’t. He was scared he would ruin the peaceful moment they were having and he definitely didn’t want to make the situation weird.

“Good night.” he spoke a moment later and turned on his back, facing the ceiling this time.

“Good night Bucky.” She whispered back and closed her eyes, falling asleep almost immediately.

Bucky could hear her even breathing and he thought it was insane how fast a person could fall asleep. Maybe she wasn’t plagued by the horrifying nightmares like he was. Maybe her conscience was clear and she was at peace with herself so that’s why it was so easy for sleep to come that quickly to her.

Bucky was almost envious of how peaceful she looked while she slept. Her lips partly open, he could listen to her breathing coming easy and calm out of her lungs. But it did nothing to soothe his mind.

He didn’t have his pillows. He took the one from his under head to hug it but now his neck was uncomfortable in that position. He let out a small breath and put the pillow under his head again. It must have passed at least a good hour of him tossing and turning around in the bed, when he felt y/n stirring in her sleep and moving closer to him.

He was laying on his back, with his hands behind his head and that just created the perfect opportunity for y/n to reach out her hand and place it on his stomach and inch her head closer to finally rest it on his shoulder. When she finally found herself a comfortable position, totally curled up to his side, she let out an actual sigh, but she never woke up.

Bucky had frozen in the spot, not daring to move even an inch for fear of waking her up. Only when he was sure she was soundly asleep again, he willed his flesh hand to move to her face and place a strand of hair behind her ear. His action only made her inch closer to him, if that was even possible anymore and he let his hand rest on her neck.

He was almost sure this had to be a dream. She couldn’t be sleeping so peacefully while being so close to him, but she was and now he was scared to death to fall asleep because he could have a nightmare and hurt her. He’d never forgive himself if her hurt her.

Despite being tired he willed himself to stay awake, but that didn’t last for too long, because sleep finally got to him and his eyes didn’t obey him anymore, they just closed in their own accord.