#a certain darkness

[londonhalcyon]

Living Girl/Dead Girl: Part 2

Featuring art my friend did of Angel:

Part 1, Part 3.

* * * *

9.

Joy playfully brushed through the ghost girl as she started for the stairwell. "Come on," she drawled. She lowered her voice as they passed the first few apartments. "Ice-psychic-le. Seriously. You're terrible, you know that?"

Angel's grin widened. "I know. But you know what's worse?"

"Do I want to?"

"That every time you commit a crime, that makes you a short medium at large."

Joy chased Angel up the remaining flights of stairs.

10.

Angel, not on a whim, decided to say something she knew was previously forbidden but more than well deserved. 

"Don't say it."

"What?" Angel asked, surprised.

Joy wasn't looking at her. "You were going to say thank you. Don't say it."

"Why not?"

A breath and a beat. Then slowly, "Because I haven't said it back."

When the surprise passed, Angel smiled. "Alright." She could wait. Ghosts could wait forever.

11.

Angel stood, unable to remain sitting as she buzzed with excitement. "I finished my story. The rough draft at least."

Joy grinned, a rare occurrence so early in the morning. "That's great, Ange!"

Ange. For the past week or so, Joy had begun to use the pet name with increasing frequency. Angel suspected the girl initially didn't know what she was doing, and the exact moment when she finally did was still unclear. But Angel never protested, and Joy didn't stop. Angel was secretly pleased for reasons that would be too awkward to admit aloud.

12.

A strangled sob rose in Joy's throat. Angel bit her lip. "That's not it, is it? What happened to your face?"

"Alison's lost her mind," Joy sniffed, wiping at her nose with the back of her hand. "She thought she'd put on a little show for Jacob."

"Did he do anything?"

"No! The son of a bitch flirted with her!"

"Well," Angel said again, "that's really disappointing." Joy furiously tried to swipe away the tears. Her cheek stung. "Here," Angel offered. The ghost girl held her hand to Joy's throbbing cheek, creating the feeling of chilly breeze on her skin. The pain slowly faded, as did Joy's anger. 

Joy took steady breaths, allowing her muscles to relax. She knew she was being ridiculous. She had never cared about any of this stuff before. There was no reason for it to affect her now. “That helps,” she murmured. “Thanks, cat.”

"At your service." Angel gave her one of her usual smiles. "Hey, look on the bright side. You still have me. I told you if all went wrong, I would be your valentine. I'm still available."

Joy laughed softly. "Yeah, you did. I might just take you up on that. God, I hate Valentine's Day."

With a chuckle of her own, Angel hauled herself to her feet. "C'mon, pick yourself up. I wanna head back. I've had enough school for today." Still sniffing every time she breathed, Joy followed her lead. "You good?"

Joy nodded. "I'm good."

13.

"You were in the apartment?"

"Yeah. Hidden but yeah."

"That sounds like a nightmare," Angel said.

Joy chuckled without humor. "You have no idea." She didn't elaborate. 

Angel let her keep her piece. Like with their research, she hadn't even expected this much. "Are you expecting me to set it up?" she asked wryly. "'Cause you'll be waiting a while."

"Ooh, so impatient," Joy retorted with a smile. "Got a hot date, ghost girl?"

"Right in front of me," Angel responded without missing a beat. They both laughed at that. 

14.

"What if I don't want to accept this?" Angel asked spitefully. 

Cassandra didn't rise to the bait, and she didn't tell her what she already knew—that then Angel would be trapped in Dusk forever. "Take it one step at a time. I know it hurts, but you're not going to give in. You're too strong for that."

"What if I don't want to be strong anymore?" Angel barely moved her lips as she spoke. Cassandra cocked her head, clearly not having heard her. Angel bit her lip, refusing to repeat herself. 

"That's what we're here for," Joy said unexpectedly. It was the first she had contributed to the conversation. "I thought that's what we'd agreed on?" Angel slowly brought her gaze to the living girl, who was looking at her from the side, her expression half-hidden. 

"Right," Angel said. "Sorry, I did it again, didn't I?"

"Yeah, you did. And right in the middle of the best part of the episode. Which, by the way, can we get back to?"

"Yeah." 

Cassandra gestured with the planchette. "I'll hold off on the charm, but I'll hang onto this. It'll give you something to fidget with besides that hoodie of yours. If I can find my board. Thank God you're not actually a cat or you'd have put holes in all the furniture by now."

"Wait, Mom, can I see that?" Joy asked. Cassandra handed her the planchette. Joy held it up to the light to examine. Then she promptly bopped Angel on the head. 

"Ow!" Angel cried indignantly. "Not cool!"

Grinning, Joy passed the heart back to Cassandra. "This thing is awesome."

With a shake of her head, Cassandra walked away.

15.

“Who's gonna kill Angel?” a voice asked abruptly, nearly sending Joy flying off the stool. She hadn't noticed Jacob approach. 

She scowled as he took the stool next to her. “No one’s gonna kill anyone. Everything's fine.”

Jacob sighed. “‘Oh, hi, Jacob. No need to worry, everything's fine. How’s it going with you?’ Why is it that never happens? It's always a death stare and a slap on the wrist. Verbal slap.”

She rolled her eyes, but couldn't effectively hide a smile. “Then why do you keep expecting anything different?”

“That is a very good question.” He turned to Angel with a wink. “Sup, Casper.”

Angel stuck her tongue out at him. “Prince Charming.”

Joy watched as he made an expression of mock distaste. Angel and Jacob called each other names now? When had that happened? It was weird to think that they hung out when she wasn't around. What did they talk about when she couldn't hear?

“So where did you two go?” Jacob asked. “I thought you were supposed to be with Ms. Amber. She's been down here the whole time.”

Joy pushed her thoughts away. She was not getting jealous.

16.

Bile rose in her throat. With one hand clamped over her mouth, Joy bolted out the front door—shutting it swiftly on the horrors behind her—and fell to her knees on the path. She doubled over on the cold, wet ground, chest curled to her knees, body shaking all over, and fought back the horrible sickness that so desperately wanted out. 

Two ghostly trail runners appeared, followed by a pair of translucent legs that kneeled beside her. “Were you trying to lock me in there?” Angel joked, as if she didn’t sound completely rattled. Naturally, Joy didn't answer. Angel took a shaky breath, but managed to calm her voice to say softly, “Breathe. Just breathe. You know, in through your nose, out…well, just breathe through your nose.”

Joy glared at the trail runners, but then closed her eyes as another wave of nausea swept over her. She began to count her breaths. In, out, one. In, out, two… When it became safe enough to remove her hand from her mouth, she crawled to the edge of the stone path to lean against the wall of the house. Thank God the street was empty. 

Angel crawled over to her. “Are you sick?” she asked. Still not willing to open her mouth, Joy shook her head. “What set it off?” A shrug. “Does this happen a lot?” A pause. Then a reluctant nod. “Okay. Hold your hands out like this.” Angel held her hands out in front of her with fingers straight and palms down. Joy copied the gesture, only to pull her hands to her chest with a scowl when she saw how much they trembled. Angel smirked at the glare she received. “Oh, yeah, you're fine.” She leaned against the wall as if she were going to put her head on Joy's shoulder. “I thought you did well. I couldn't even think straight. But I was being repeatedly blasted with burning waves of energy, so…”

Joy hadn't even considered how Angel would’ve been affected. All the ghosts had run away from the demon and the screams. Except her. “Thank you,” Joy murmured, shifting her weight as if she were going to lean against Angel. “For what you did.”

Angel shrugged. “That was nothing.” Which was a lie. “What I could never do is yell at an adult like that. I’m so glad you did though. She's…moody. Not your moody. In a negative way.” Translation: She's a bitch. Joy might’ve smiled had she not still been so close to the fucking nightmare house. Angel fell silent, but her presence remained solid. Joy closed her eyes and tried not to feel anything else but it. 

17.

Her dreamcatcher fluttered in a nonexistent breeze. Joy looked wildly around for the source. Nothing revealed itself to her but the blazing red numbers on her clock: half past midnight. There was only darkness and a hair-raising chill that pushed down on the back of her neck. Something was out there. Something hid where there was no light. 

A faint blue glow flickered in the doorway, sending panic crawling up her throat. She dove for the edge of her bed and snatched the flashlight off the floor. She flicked the bright beam at the darkness beyond the doorway. More nothing. 

The sight of dust particles drifting in the light was not comforting. There was a living energy beyond the beam—she was sure of it. Her heart slammed against her ribs. Something was affecting her. Something was coming for her, and it wasn’t a demon. 

“Angel?” she called as quietly as she could, hearing the panic wrap itself around the name. 

One rapid heartbeat. Another. A third. A tenth. A thirtieth. Finally a translucent figure walked into the reach of the flashlight. Angel held her hand in front of her face with a wince. The beam pierced through her form as if she were a windowpane. “Ah, yeah, I’m here. Ow, my eyes.”

Joy fumbled to switch the flashlight off. When she did, the darkness became constricting. “You scared me,” she whined. “You said you wouldn’t be back until later.”

Angel sat on the edge of Joy's bed. The mattress refused to compress in acknowledgement of her presence. “I never said that,” she whispered. “I said I would be back before you woke up.”

“Mm,” was all Joy could manage as a response. Her heart was pounding. Her stomach rocked. She felt simultaneously cold and over-heated. Something was really, really wrong with her. What if she was actually going to die? The flashlight trembled in her hands. 

“Joy.” Angel shifted closer, a calm concern on her face. “Take deep breaths. Just like you did earlier.”

Joy struggled to achieve more than a small, shaky one. Another wave of dread swept over her. “What's wrong with me?”

“Nothing's wrong with you,” Angel assured her. “You just…might be having a panic attack.”

That was hardly reassuring. “I feel sick.”

“I know,” the ghost soothed. “Just breathe. You're fine.” She glowed softly in the windowless room, but remained without warmth, like a light made of ice—or a distant star.

[the-final-sentence]

‘To Ireland.’

Anna Lee Huber, from A Certain Darkness

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Stargazing, at the edge of the unknown.

[periwinkla]

falling for you, again and again

[constantinnen]

all eyes on you

[mooneggtarts]

Say hello to Jumping Spider AU! Where Orange DIDN'T get to talk it out with Alan and was dropped to the Outernet. Where TDL got into another massive fights with TCO much more early that got them seperated before Orange was created and the whole Virabots thing (TCO kept the house. But only cause TDL refuse to live in the same house as he is)

TDL is convinced that he doesn't care about TCO, or that now he's alone, he doesn't need anyone! Until some Orange kid with the same head as him crashes onto him. Literally. Fate seems to hate him (or pity him?)

[cupiidzbow]

i talked abt this on Twitter but I have to take a realllyyyyy take a good hard look at people’s sonic humanizations sometimes bc people really just have such an uncknowledged colorism issue 😭😭😭 like why are people so comfortable making knuckles and shadow the darkest bc they “aggressive” or “stupid” but so against making sonic darker skinned bc he’s a “good guy and cool” LIKE QUICKLY TELL ME WHY 🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤

[gingerswagfreckles]

Sometimes remembering what the world used to be like 10 years ago feels like remembering life before the zombie apocalypse. I do wonder if there will come a point that I totally forget what life was like, and the absolute certainty I had in the delusion that people are mostly good and that the progress in the world was basically inevitable. I didn't even realize how much I believed in the future until I didn't believe in it anymore.

[arcanegifs]

Here are some Season 2 Arcane GIF comparisons before and after I color and sharpen them! | Season 1 Comparison GIFs

[kodasea]

King of Games

[thefloatingstone]

The older I get and the more terrible takes I see the more in favour I become of gatekeeping

[londonhalcyon]

Living Girl/Dead Girl: Part 1

Before The Mad Witch, I spent about three or four years working on a Murdered: Soul Suspect post-canon longfic called A Certain Darkness. I wrote about 200k words before irreparable issues with the plot forced me to abandon the whole thing. Not without a fight—I attempted a rewrite in 2019 (the same year I started TMW), but there was no resurrecting this ghost. I'll probably recycle parts of the story later for other projects.

While the plot was offensively bad (teenage me was incapable of nuance), the fic's main redeeming quality was its two protagonists: canon medium Joy Foster and OC ghost Angel Hillyer. Their relationship developed in ways I (who was convinced I was straight) never expected, leading me to abandon the comphet subplot in favor of...whatever these two are. Whether I recycle this fic or not, these girls will always hold a very special place in my heart.

So here's some salvaged, chronologically-ordered snippets of these fifteen-year-old disasters that my "straight" teenage self wrote. For context, Joy is a medium with an unfortunate case of paranormal magnetism. Angel is a new ghost recently accused of murder.

Part 1 of 3 because I love them. (Part 2, Part 3).

* * * *

1.

"It's about time you woke up. I was beginning to think you were—" Joy broke off with a blush. "Heh, never mind. Stupid thought."

The events of the day before crashed to the forefront of Angel's mind. Her non-functioning heart skipped a beat. "Oh, Joy, I'm so sorry. I owe you big time. I can't believe I asked you to break into my house."

"Hey, I went along with it, didn't I? What's done is done. Don't worry, I expect full payment."

"I'm starting to doubt what I got myself into."

"You're just starting now?

Angel grinned. "No, definitely not."

Joy looked taken aback.

"What?"

She rubbed the back of her neck. "I, uh…well, that's the first time you've smiled like that. I mean, your teeth…" She shifted awkwardly, but her eyes narrowed in suspicion. "You look different."

2.

Angel wrapped her arms around her legs and rested her head on them. "I had a rough night," she said tiredly. 

"And whose fault is that?" Joy said with an edge to her tone. "What you did was stupid. It's a miracle you weren't eaten."

"I know," Angel sighed. 

Joy seemed uncertain what to say next, so she simply ended with, "Well, then..."

Angel gave a small laugh. "Joy Foster, were you actually worried about me?"

Joy stared straight ahead, her scowl returning. "No. You irritate me too much for that to happen."

"How so?" Angel asked curiously. 

"What?"

"How do I irritate you? If it's something I'm doing unintentionally, then I—"

"No, it's not that. You...I just...I mean..." Joy faltered. "It's nothing you can change. Don't take it personally."

"Okay...?"

"And you're not that irritating."

"Alright then." 

Joy turned her head away, but not before Angel caught a glimpse of a blush.

3.

Joy grinned. "It was so much easier when I could just ignore you."

"So you admit I do exist?" Angel teased. When Joy's smile faltered, Angel realized she had said the wrong thing. "No, I didn't mean...it was supposed to be...I was—"

"Relax," Joy said, rolling her eyes. "I'm not fragile."

"I know that. I was afraid you didn't realize that I might be," Angel joked. It was a poor attempt at amendment, but she didn't know what else to say. She really didn't want to start another argument. 

It was apparently good enough. Joy rolled her eyes again, but a hint of a smirk touched her lips. 

4.

The next day, Joy came home from school complaining about having been harassed by ghosts. After going on a rant of decent length about how one ghost had followed her around all day no matter what she did to ditch him, which had thus attracted the attention of a whole pack of them, she then accused Angel of not doing her job as a bodyguard. Angel tactfully replied that she had been awaiting orders and then politely pointed out that her presence would probably draw the attention of more ghosts and that she had no clue how to make them go away. Joy responded with, Screw it. Just come with me tomorrow. Angel figured this was her way of saying there were no hard feelings between them.

5.

"I have a question," Jacob said. "Are mood swings common in..." He paused, his eyes flicking to the people in the crowded hallway. "Cats?"

"Cats," Joy repeated flatly. 

"Yeah, cats. Let's go with cats."

She didn't know if this was funny or ridiculous. "It depends on the...cat. But some have more control. Problem?"  

"No problem." He stayed focused on the signup sheet, though the pen was still. "I was just curious about your cat."

She narrowed her eyes. "What did you do?"

"Nothing," he said quickly. "I...nothing."

She maintained her suspicious glare. "Angel's special."

"In a good or bad way?" he asked. Joy simply shrugged.

6.

"I'm sorry, Joy. I messed up. I was supposed to keep the ghosts away, but all I've managed to do is attract more. You said I make your life hell, and you were right. I...I'm so sorry." Angel struggled to swallow.

Joy's righteous anger quickly deflated to her usual aura of irritation. "Don't. Don't you..." Her growl transitioned into a sigh. "You don't make my life hell. You shake it up, maybe turn it upside down every other day, but you don't make it hell. It was hell way before you came crashing in." She gave a wry smile. Her tone was joking, but Angel didn't believe it. 

"Are you really that miserable?"

For a few seconds, Joy looked caught off guard. She shrugged. "Maybe."

Angel sniffed, feeling only despair. 

Joy glared at her. "Don't cry. Don't you dare cry." 

Lifting her glasses, Angel attempted to brush the tears away. "I'm sorry."

"And don't apologize." Joy rolled her eyes. "God, Ange."

Angel steadied a fraction. "What?"

"I said don't apologize. It's getting old."

"No, what did you call me?"

"Angel. I said Angel, right?"

"Never mind."

The living girl leaned against the wall beside her. Joy tilted her head so that it was half resting on the wall, her quiet breathing the only sound to fill the room. Angel didn't know how long it was before she spoke again.

"Please," she murmured to Angel's shoulder, sounding strangely young.

7.

Jacob straightened. "Okay. What's wrong?"

Joy glanced around, but she couldn't see or feel any sign of the ghost. Hopefully that meant she was out of earshot. Hopefully, hopefully, hopefully. "It's Angel. Something happened."

"Is she alright?"

"Yes. Well, no. I mean, she's fine, uh, physically. It's complicated." 

"Tell me."

She did her best to explain the ghost's mood swings. "She's had lows before, but never like this. Not for this long. She's miserable, she's driving me insane, and I don't know if she's going to turn into a demon—" Joy realized she was gesturing with increasing intensity and shoved her hands in her pockets. 

Jacob scrambled off the table. "What? That can happen?"

She spread her palms, instantly failing to keep her hands still. "I don't know," she said, perhaps a little more sharply than was necessary. "I've never dealt with this before!"

8.

The conversation faded to a lulling rumble. The sun felt so good. It made Joy feel like she could fall asleep. She was so tired. 

Laughter wove into her fuzzy state. Angel's laughter. The laughter of a ghost who hated the dark. 

I'm not scared of you. 

What makes me so different from the things out there?

I don't know. You just are. 

You just are. You just are.

[idkaguyorsomething]

a support group for people with “unconventional” daemons. jeff with his flounder he has to carry everywhere in a huge tank. lois with her poison dart frog everyone is afraid to touch. sam with their elephant that’s the reason they can never go higher than two stories in most buildings.

[gattaxa]

"I'm afraid he's gonna die alone. You won't be able to save him. Just like you weren't able to save your whole family."

WHAT IF...? (2021 - 2024) | 3x06: What If...1872?

[bayetea]

truly one of the biggest letdowns in piper's writing in hoo specifically is how it doesn't dig deeper into charmspeak and what a disturbing thing it is to have the power to control someone's mind. like I swear this is interesting stuff and more people would get into piper as a character if this were explored a bit more in the text. you definitely see piper disturbed by her own power and hesitant to use it (and note that like many other characters, i.e. leo and hazel, her powers have always been a source of trouble in her life - like how she got in trouble for stealing a car even though all she did was ask for it), but in my opinion the books spend way too much time in piper's perspectives on other stuff when charmspeak is such an unusual and fascinating and terrifying power that offers so many interesting avenues of character exploration

and I really wish the books would have talked more about the canonical fact that charmspeak is more effective against people who are (or could be) physically/sexually attracted to the user. this is a power that children of aphrodite have - a power that is implicitly tied to sexuality as a defense or offense. like this inherently necessitates that piper weaponizes her sexuality against monsters and deities and giants and any other antagonist that want to harm her. which is crazy. especially because she's a teenager and especially because piper is initially characterized as an underconfident girl who goes out of her way to downplay her appearance (do you guys remember how much harassment piper goes through in the books and what little gravity is afforded to those moments... like she has dangerous characters aggressively flirting with or expressing attraction to her A Lot, and she has to play into that attraction to save herself or her friends no matter how uncomfortable it makes her)

I think there's such a dark undertone to all of this that's worth investigating. we know that piper doesn't like herself, doesn't like her powers, and doesn't like demigod life. hoo has her on a journey to become more confident in herself as a person and as a daughter of aphrodite but it's always going to be fucked up that part of her role in the prophecy seven is becoming confident enough in herself that she gets better at weaponizing her ability to violate the free will of others - and her ability to use her sexuality as an armament of war

[the-last-butter]

HC they first met a year or two after Yelan got her vision; post fighting the in abyss but when Kaeya was still navigating his identity from Kaeya, Brother and Right hand of Diluc Ragnvindr to Kaeya Alberich, Cavalry Captain and Quarter master of the Knights of Favonius.