#a diff school has already started

[nameification]

whadoyoumean only two more weeks of Doing Nothing

[sebbyisland]

akanematic.mp4 (youtube link)

[loveharlow]

SYNOPSIS‧₊˚ [8.5k] A newfound diary, an emotional blast from the past, and a chaotic bonfire.

WARNING(S)‧₊˚ swearing, fist fight/mild violence, jarah drama, sexual innuendoes,

NOW PLAYING‧₊

for the house scene^

for the bonfire scene^

A/N‧₊˚ i'm sooo hyped, ik this song strays from the theme a bit but i really wanted a sexy lil tune for the bonfire scene AND this chapter has TWO SONGS because it's two diff vibes at once

˗ˏˋ series masterlist ˎˊ˗

“JJ, GET UP.” You groaned for the last time, shoving your sock-clad feet into your shoes, slinging your backpack over your shoulder. 

“Mmmm…I am up.” He whined into the pillow, very much still sleep. You scoffed, walking over and snatching the blanket off of the blonde — a wave of cool air hitting his shirtless body. He whined, flipping over onto his back as his eyes blinked open. “Why would you do that?”

“Because, for one, it’s eight fifty-five. School starts at nine and we have a fifteen minute drive to get there. And, two, John B and Pope already left without us because they didn’t want to wait for you which means I am now responsible for driving you, which makes us both late.” You explained, tossing the boy one of his shirts and a pair of socks. 

“Mmph…fine.” He grumbled, sitting up and slipping the item over his head as he yawned. You kicked his shoes towards him as he slipped on his socks, walking out of the bedroom to find Marley on the couch. The dog perked up as her two favorite people exited the guest room. 

“Hi, girl.” You cooed, crouching down as the animal threw herself off the couch and into your arms. “How you feelin’?” You asked, scratching behind her ears before looking up to find Kie in the kitchen, lingering silently. She paced, fiddling with her fingers while struggling to hesitantly meet your eyes.

“Hey.” She said simply, eyes on you and JJ. You both sent the girl half-smiles, lips pulled into thin, tight lines. “I thought everyone had left, I didn't know you two were...I, um, I fed her so, you shouldn’t have to worry about that.” She told you, shoving her hands in her back pockets nervously. “How are you? Or is that a…bad question to ask?”

You just shrugged one shoulder, swallowing awkwardly. “A lot better. Thanks for asking…” You replied genuinely. The room was filled with such a strong tension. By this point, everyone knew about the kiss between JJ and Kie. And everyone knew that everyone knew. The three of you stood around avoiding each other’s gazes, the only sound being the birds outside and Marley’s heavy panting. It didn’t feel right to be so hostile with Kie after everything that happened yesterday. And plus, you guessed you never got her side of everything. But even if the tension was no longer volatile, it was still awkward and suffocating. 

“Well, we should get goin’...” JJ piped up.

“Yeah, yeah, totally.” Kiara waved off, tucking her hair behind her ear and grabbing her tote bag from the dining chair. “I’ll...see you guys later.”

“You aren’t going to school?” You asked, Kiara stopping with her hand on the door. 

“No, I have some stuff to do. But I’ll catch up later.” She said, holding her hand up as a goodbye. “See ya.”

You both watched as she left — hearing her sneakers crunch oddly fast through the gravel before the sound faded out. You looked to JJ as his voice rang out. “Is it my place to say that you two need to talk it out?”

You grimaced before walking forward, out of the front door and towards your parked car as JJ followed. “I don’t know…” You dragged on, opening the driver’s side door as JJ got into the passenger seat. “It’s weird now. We’re together and she likes you…”

“Eh, I don’t think so.” JJ shrugged as you started the car, shooting him a confused look as you pulled out. 

“What do you mean?” You asked. “She kissed you.”

“I mean, yeah, but it was like she didn’t mean to. I didn’t want to say anything last night because it didn’t feel right to bring it up.” He said, looking at you as you drove, admiring the way the morning sun illuminated your eyelashes. “She came to me last night in the Surf Shack and apologized, said she had her feelings mixed up. I guess she meant between me and Pope, maybe? I don’t know. But she made it clear that she doesn’t like me like that, at the very least. But apparently, she also broke things off with Pope so, I’m confused on what she meant. Either way, maybe you’re the person she needs to talk to.” He suggested cooly. “Just sayin’.”

“Hm.” You hummed in thought, eyes trained on the road as your eyebrows pinched. Maybe JJ had a point. But when Kie was ready to talk, she would.

YOU AND JJ ENTERED THE CLASSROOM JUST AS THE LATE BELL RANG, the teacher shooting you both a look of warning and motioning for you to take your seats. JJ sat in front of John B and you sat behind Pope — the four of you forming a perfect square. JJ shot the two boys looks of annoyance, the both of them holding up their hands in surrender.

You watched as Mrs.Ortiz, the geometry teacher, began passing out papers. Kids around you sighed and groaned, causing you and JJ to share a confused look. It wasn’t long before the teacher made her way to you all, setting a paper on John B’s desk. “Nice of you to join us.” She smiled sweetly at him. 

“Good to be back.” He smiled back at her, the expression quickly fading when he read the paper in front of him. His eyes went wide just as the woman placed a paper on your own desk — two pieces of paper stapled together, the first page of equations already giving you a migraine.

“A test?” John B asked Pope, appalled. The boy turned in his seat, pointing an accusatory finger at John B.

“I told you we had a test.” He reprimanded under his breath.

“No, you didn’t.”

“The first thing I said to you-”

“Was to wake up.”

“Because we had a test.”

“A test was never mentioned-”

“Psst. John B.” A random girl interrupted. John B turned to her curiously, quirking a brow as she passed him a piece of paper, the three of you looking weirdly at one another as he unfolded the note.

Bonfire C U There?

John B eyed the note with an unreadable expression, the three of you turning away from him slowly once Mrs.Ortiz began talking. “You all will have until the end of this period to turn in the quiz. No phones, no notes, and no calculators. Once you are done, you may-” She was cut off when the landline on her desk rang. “Excuse me a moment.” She dismissed herself, picking up the phone before exchanging a few words and hanging up, peering over the classroom full of students before her eyes landed on you. “Ms.Carter.” She called, your eyebrows raising in question.

“Yes?”

“They need you in the main office.” She said, looking sad and pitiful. She looked sorry for you. You didn’t know why. 

Your face twisted in confusion as you looked at your three friends and got up, not even taking a full step forward before she spoke again. “You may want to take your things with you.” She grimaced, clasping her hands together. “And no need to worry about the quiz. I’ll exempt you for today.”

Her mercy had you questioning what exactly they needed you in the main office for…

Scooping up your backpack, you shot JJ a look before walking out of the classroom.

WALKING INTO THE MAIN OFFICE, you spotted a familiar face. 

“Shoupe?” You asked, face twisting as the man turned to you — a nervous look plastered on his face as his hands clutched his utility belt. There was no one else in the office aside from the secretary and a teacher or two printing papers — the sounds of typing and phones ringing filling the atmosphere.

“What’s going on?” You asked the officer, eyes darting around the room as you hiked your bag up higher on your shoulder, subconsciously holding it tighter against you. The older man took in his surroundings, taking note of the peering eyes of the secretary. He motioned towards the door you had just walked through before speaking.

“Let’s talk outside…”

You unknowingly clenched your jaw, nodding and following the man out the door. He waited for it to close, looking up and down the empty school halls before speaking. “I don’t mean to pop up on you like this. I’m just…tryna make this whole thing a little easier on ya.” He claimed, licking his lips before continuing. “I don’t know if you or your friends watch the news but…we have your mom in custody.”

You nodded, drawing your lips into a thin line but allowing the man to continue talking. “She had her bail hearin’ this mornin’. Since she attempted to flee from police upon arrest, the judge didn't grant her bail so, she won’t be out any time soon. Just wanted to let you know that.” He explained, his eyes full of pity and regret. "...She's been askin' to see you."

You couldn't control your facial contorting out of disgust. Or anger, you didn't know. "No." You said bluntly and firmly. "I don't want to see her."

Shoupe just nodded, raising his eyebrows briefly. "Yeah...I figured as much." He informed. "No one's forcin' you, kid. Just relayin' the message." He said. “...Also, the department will be closing off your house as a crime scene early tomorrow mornin’. I’m not supposed to be doing this but…if ya have anythin’ that you’d like to take with you — clothes, jewelry — I’d suggest you gon’ and get it today before it ends up in an evidence locker.”

“...Thank you, Shoupe.” You expressed your gratitude, surprised at his change of heart. Maybe he felt bad for everything — knowing now just how much could've been avoided had he just listened to you and your friends to begin with.

“...’s the least I could do.” He mumbled, looking down at his shoes for a brief moment. “But there is one more thing, kid.”

“What is it?” You asked, a moment of silence passing as a janitor walked by whistling with his earbuds in — the pair of you allowing him to pass anyway before continuing the conversation.

“...Since you are still a minor and have no current legal guardian that's not...imprisoned or deceased, you are now considered a Ward of the State. And unless you find someone to claim legal guardianship over you, there’s nothin’ I can do to stop DCS from payin’ you a visit.”

“Oh.” You said simply, lips stuck in a pursed position. You didn't think about that part...

“Yeah…” The man sighed.

“...Should I warn John B, too? Since Ward was his legal guardian?”

“No, no, that’s not necessary.” Shoupe dismissed, waving you off. “With Ward’s…passing, guardianship had been transferred to Rose as she was Ward’s spouse. But we both know that Routledge has been on his own for a long time.”

“So…what should I do?” You asked.

“That’s up to you, kid.” Shoupe shrugged helplessly. “Just find someone to take ya in. And soon.”

“HEY! WAIT UP!” YOU CALLED OUT AS YOU SPOTTED YOUR THREE MALE FRIENDS OUTSIDE IN THE COURTYARD. First period had ended by the time you’d gotten done talking with Shoupe, kids gathered outside before the bell rang for second.

You caught up to your friends in seconds, Pope and JJ separating to make space for you to walk with them.

“Glad to see you’re back.” John B threw out. “What’d you do? Steal test answers?”

“You’re hilarious but I don’t cheat.” You sassed, squinting at him. “I can do a simple math problem, I know that’s a foreign thing to you-”

“I was just askin’ because us three who didn’t receive a ‘get out of geometry free pass’ were kind of dying in there.”

“Speak for yourself.” Pope threw out, smiling smugly. “Finished that quiz in ten minutes. That’s gotta be a world record.”

“Yeah,” JJ added sarcastically. “For geeks, maybe.”

Popee flipped off the blonde as you and John B laughed, walking up the concrete steps. “But seriously, what’d they need you for?” JJ asked, looking down at you and throwing an arm over your shoulder.

You didn't miss the way John B and Pope shot each other smirks and low high-fived.

You sighed but smiled smally at the contact and slight PDA. “Long story short — my mom was denied bail so she's in jail for good, they’re taping my house off as a crime scene tomorrow and I have until tonight to get my stuff, and I am now a state-certified orphan and will be snatched up by DCS soon unless someone comes to claim me.”

“Sounds like someone needs a Routledge-level crash course in ‘Dodging DCS 101’.” John B smiled, holding the straps of his backpack.

“Or I just need someone to sign some papers and say they’re willing to take care of me.” Suddenly, all eyes glued themselves to Pope, the boy immediately shaking his head.

“Nuh-uh.” He declined. “You know I would if I could and my parents would love to help you. But that’s a lot of paperwork and they need other things, like proof of income showing that they can support another child. And Heyward’s has been a little slow since the whole boat thing with Topper…”

You all hummed in agreement, understanding his point. “Don’t sweat it, Pope.” You assured, nudging his shoulder. “I’ll figure it out. Hey," You switched your attention to JJ, voice lowering as the other two guys now held their own conversation. "I'm probably gonna leave school a bit early to go my house. Just so I have enough time."

"You want me to come with?" The blonde asked.

"If you don't mind..." You said, nervously — not wanting to be a burden. "You don't have to. I just don't think going alone-"

"I want to." He reassured, pecking your cheek.

“Ahh....” A chipper voice chimed in, the four of you facing forward to find Mr.Sunn standing against the school exit door that was wide open. “Mr.Routledge, Mr.Maybank, Mr.Heyward, and Ms.Carter — just the students I wanted to see.” He smiled, guiding you each one by one into the school building.

“Wish I could say the same.” JJ replied as Mr.Sunn walked in behind you four — guiding you to his classroom and ignoring your boyfriend’s sassiness.

“I have a question of historical nature for you…” The teacher explained, walking into a storage closet within his classroom. “I digitize documents for the Maritime Museum, and in return, I have been given access to the archives.” He went on, searching up and down the shelves before pulling out a box. “And I found…this.”

“A box.” Pope deadpanned.

“More than a box.” Mr.Sunn smiled, placing the container down on his desk, the four of you crowding around as he opened it, revealing what looked like a worn, brown journal wrapped in plastic. “Go ahead, Mr. Heyward.” The instructor encouraged as Pope picked up the item. “Careful with that.”

You all watched as Pope unwrapped the item from its packaging, fiddling with the fabric knot that held the book closed.

“It’s a diary.” Mr. Sunn explained. “The author’s unknown.” You all watched as Pope undid the knot, pages and pages of writing revealing themselves. It was written in cursive, some pages partially or completely torn out. But you felt the tension in the room rise when Pope let the pages fall to the very first one — a wheat symbol sketched onto it.

The four of you shot each other looks as Mr.Sunn placed a paper on the desk. “This…is a sample of the Denmark Tanny letter.” He smirked, looking up at the group of you. “Compare the handwriting.” John B was quick to pick up the paper, holding it up next to Pope’s hand that held the diary open.

Peering over the two boys shoulders, you could see the two artifacts side by side — the handwriting was distinct. But the similarity was undeniable. It was obvious that the two documents were written by the same person, down to the curves and flicks of the pen.

“No way…”

“It’s nearly identical.”

“...This is Denmark Tanny’s diary.” Pope said in a hushed tone, eyes never leaving the papers. His fingers trailed the worn pages of the journal, flipping the page to find a drawing — a captain standing by as the figures in the background pushed ships into the water, a larger ship looming in the back. “Guys, this is Captain Limbrey.” Pope pointed out, tip of his index finger on the man with the hat atop his head, standing proudly. “...August sixth, eighteen twenty-nine.” He read aloud, sitting down on the nearest desk top.

“That’s the year the Royal Merchant went down.” John B informed, eyebrows downturned in pity.

“I thought you all might find it interesting.” The teacher spoke up.

“Thank you so much for this.” Pope whispered, still looking through the journal.

Mr.Sunn sat on the desk beside your friend, leaning in to speak. “It’s important to know your own history.” He told him, you all looking at him with wide eyes before he got up and walked to the back of the classroom once more, leaving the four of you to your thoughts.

“...Oh my God.” Pope sighed, his eyebrows pinching together. “This is the Cross of Santo Domingo.” He said, the three of  you sharing a look and walking over, crowding around behind him. It was a picture of some of the crew members carrying a large cross. “It was on The Royal Merchant.”

THE ENGINE OF YOUR FORD BRONCO DIED AS YOU TURNED THE VEHICLE OFF, looking up at the house you hadn't seen in over a month. To anyone else, it probably looked like a nice, normal home.

To you it looked haunted, forever shrouded in a cloud of darkness and gloom that would never go away.

"You want me to come in?" JJ asked, you only just now noticing him looking at you. You lowered your gaze to him, nodding as a response. He gave you a small smile before exiting the passenger seat and rounding the vehicle as you unbuckled your seatbelt to open your door and offer you a hand out of the car.

He shut your door after you climbed out, giving your hand a reassuring squeeze as you walked the path up to the front door. To your surprise, it was already cracked ajar, only having to give the wood a push for it to creak open.

The lights were off, the only light coming from the open windows. The wood screeched beneath you and JJ's feet as you walked further inside, the blonde allowing your hand to slip slowly from his own as your eyes scanned everything.

You spotted a suitcase at the bottom of the steps — laid out in the floor, flipped open. Clothes, shoes, and stray dollar bills scattered around the abandoned trunk.

Was that what Shoupe meant when he said she attempted to run?

It looked like the caught her before she even made it out of the front door...

It was as if the place had been raided. The coffee table in the living room was lopsided and off center, the couch cushions looked like they'd been thrown back into place.

The patio door was open, and the kitchen told a different story —alcohol bottles scattered on the counter like centerpieces. The smell of liquor even lingered mildly in the air.

You didn't say a word as you edged towards the staircase, stepping over the fallen luggage and making your way up the stairs. Photo frames decorating the companionway upon the walls swung, hanging from a single screw.

You'd seen how many officers came the day Ward died. Just how many ran through your house? Or what remained of it...

Reaching the top of the stairs, even more clothes littered the floor. There was even a sizeable hole in the wall...

You took a deep breath, shaking off your nerves before walking further down the hall and pushing open the door to your room.

Surprisingly, it looked untouched —almost exactly how you remember leaving it.

Your bed was unmade, the blinds were open, even your midsummer's dress was still hung on the back of your closet door. Remembering that night put a smile on your face.

Everything was messed up...but not this messed up. John B didn't know that his girlfriend's dad had killed his and yours. Pope didn't have any personal connection to the gold that made him a target. Kiara was still living with her parents and you were still friends. You and JJ had just gotten out of jail and seen each other for the first time all day.

Looking back, maybe your friends were right. How could you not see it all this time? Remembering the way he froze seeing you in your dress, you paid no mind to it then. But now, it was like reliving the moment in your mind. He looked in awe. He looked in love. He looked like he had never seen you a day in his life. And when he smiled at you...

You would never forget that night.

Walking over to the item, your fingers brushed against the smooth material — a small, sad smile spreading across your cheeks.

"You should take it." JJ startled you, turning around to see him in the doorframe. You hadn't heard him come up the stairs.

"I don't have any use for it, now." You said mournfully. "It's not like I'll be going to another one..." You reflected, opening your closet all the way and grabbing the biggest duffel bag you owned, pulling tops and jackets off the hangers and throwing them in.

In your peripheral, you could see your boyfriend remove the dress from it's hanger — folding it and placing it in the duffel bag. "That may be true but you'll need a dress for all the five-star restaurants we visit when we go full Kook." He joked lightly, winking at you, the action putting a loving smile on your face. "Here, let me help." He offered, stepping next to you and grabbing your bottoms and shoes, putting them in the duffel bag as well.

To your surprise, the bag fit almost everything you planned on taking. You'd probably need another backpack but the closet was almost entirely empty when you spotted a box in the corner. You scrunched your eyebrows, crouching and reaching for the cardboard box in the corner, dragging it out.

There was something written in sharpie on the side — Dad's Stuff.

Your hand hovered over the box, forgetting you had it back there all this time. You didn't even remember what was inside. Looking up at JJ who was already staring down at you, the blonde gave you a silent supportive nod, encouraging you to open it.

Turning back, you carefully opened the top flaps — your eyes immediately spotting your dad's tattered and worn 'OBX' hoodie that you'd taken from his closet after he died. You wore it for weeks after his death — so much so that your perfume still lingered on it, mixed in with fading smell of his cologne that you somehow still remembered the distinct smell of.

You carefully lifted the item of clothing, brushing your thumbs against the rough fabric. The letters were fading and there were small lint-beads around the sleeves but that didn't diminish it's value. You handed the object to JJ, silently asking him to put it in the bag. The boy understood quickly, taking the hoodie from your hands as you fished around deeper in the box.

There wasn't much. What took up the most space was the hoodie considering it's thickness. All that remained was a scrapbook and an old family camera.

You picked up the book first — it was a father's day gift that you'd made him some years ago. 'To The BEST Dad in The World' scribbled in your third grade handwriting on the front. The book was thin, made from construction paper and glitter.

Flipping it open, it was filled with pictures of you and your dad — on several of your birthday's, pictures of you both blowing out the candles because you refused to do it without him. One of his guitar picks was glued to a page, surrounded by a heart of glitter with a small sentence at the bottom — 'I stole this from you because it's my favorite and I don't want to lose it.'

You let the pads of your fingers trace the pages, eyes scanning over the small art project once more before closing it and setting it to the side with one hand, using the other to pick up the camera.

You fiddled with the object in your palms, eyes widening when, to your surprise, it came on as you held the power button. You vividly remembering your dad taking the camera almost everywhere you went — on family picnics, small road trips, birthday parties. He didn't use it as much when you got older.

You pressed the playback button, the last video he ever recorded popping up with the play button. You didn't hesitate, pressing play on the video as the terrible audio quality filled the silence of your room.

"Well, it's doomsday, people. Y/N has her very first pimple." His voice made your heart skip a beat. You hadn't realized until now that you hadn't heard it almost year.

"Dad, stop!" A fourteen-year old you whined, palming the lens of the camera. "It's ugly and huge..."

"You should let your old man pop it-"

"Ew, gross! No way..." You chuckled. Your voice was so much higher, you didn't even recognize it. "And please, stop recording. This is not funny."

"Okay, okay…" he said, turning the camera around to face himself. "Well, bossy pants says no more recording, so we're cutting it short today." He faked a frown before smiling mischievously and turning the camera back around to you for a quick second. You were hunched over the sink looking in the mirror when you saw the camera and ducked out of the way.

"Dad!" You whined. "Seriously!"

"Okay! Okay..." He laughed, the video ending abruptly. You immediately pressed the back arrow, skimming through photo after photo before coming across another video — a much older one.

"Alright, I think it's on. So, to whoever is watching this, my baby girl just learned her first guitar chord and beat her own record, all in one day. Tell them how deep you dove today, sweetheart." He prompted, spinning the camera to what looked like a ten-year old you sitting on your front porch — hair still slightly damp and wild.

"Thirty feet!" You cheered, voice even higher in this recording. You had his guitar in your lap.

"That's right!" Your father applauded from behind the camera, walking around to stand in front of you and get a good view. "She's a little natural. But now we're on to our lessons before she leaves me for her friends. Tell the people what chords you learned."

Your small frame was perched on the front steps, sun beaming on you. "E-minor, A-minor, and...uh...E."

"Good job!" He smiled, voice dropping to a whisper only the camera could hear. "She picked out the chords herself, I had no say." The statement made you laugh a bit, wiping away a stray tear as you continued to watch the video. "Whenever you're ready, sweetheart."

You watched as little you positioned the instrument under your arms and your fingers in between the frets before strumming. It was gappy and you hesitated in between switching chords but the video made you smile nonetheless.

Once you were done, you looked up at the camera with a smile. "How was that?"

"That was beautiful, angel." Your dad said softly behind the device, walking closer to you and turning it around so it now recorded the both of you. "This is me and my little pufferfish-slash-popstar and we're signing off. Wave goodbye, Y/N."

"Byeee!" You cheesed and waved wildly, your dad doing this same as the video cut — stuck on the last frame showcasing both of your bright smiles.

You stared at it, silently crying. You let your tears fall, sniffing periodically when you felt a hand ease it's way onto your back. Turning swiftly and dropping the camera into your duffel bag, you turned and pushed your face into JJ's chest, wrapping your arms around his torso tightly.

You could feel his body tense and his hands freeze — he didn't know what to say or how to properly comfort you. Or if was he meant to comfort you as a friend or a lover.

He pondered for a moment before returning the tight embrace, kissing the top of your head before laying his on top of your own. He swayed lightly with you in his arms, allowing you to cry quietly into his shirt.

"Why did all of this have to happen?" You mumbled into his shirt. "Why are our lives the ones that had to fall apart?"

The blonde didn't have an answer for you, so he just chose to hold you instead — comforting you until you were ready and didn't need the need the comfort anymore.

He wasn't sure if he was meant to comfort you as a friend or as a lover — so he settled on comforting you as a person.

And he held you as long as you needed until you were all cried out, the two of you taking your bags of clothes, the scrapbook, the camera, the hoodie, and most importantly — your dad's guitar out of the house you hoped to never see again.

“GUYS,  THIS IS FROM DENMARK’S DIARY.” Pope said. You were back at The Chateau, feeling a lot better now, and he hadn’t put the book down since he got it. You were surprised he hadn’t finished it by now. You’d seen the boy finish larger books in a matter of hours. “...‘August fifteenth, set sail from Port-au-Prince on calm seas.’” He read aloud, the sun beaming behind him. “...’Came up on the Spanish ship San Jose on fire. The entire deck was aflame. We could hear the screams of men trapped below.’” You cringed at the words, not being able to imagine the agony.

“‘The Spanish Captain cared about only one thing, his valuable cargo — The Cross of Santo Domingo and countless bars of gold. Once the cargo was on board, went to help the crew, but Captain Limbrey ordered us to pull bayonets and not to let any of the Spanish crew on board.” He paused, eyes softening before continuing to read. “...’He robbed them and left them to die.’”

Pope concluded, closing the journal and letting it fall on the table before taking a seat in the empty chair next to John B.

“So, it didn’t go down off Bermuda.” JJ offered, fiddling with a lighter as he laid outstretched between your legs, his head against your thighs as you laid against the arm of the patio sofa.

“And it was a Limbrey stealing shit again.” Kiara added.

“This diary proves that both the gold and the cross of Santo Domingo were on the Royal Merchant.” Pope put together, leaning his arms on his thighs. 

“Why didn’t we find the cross in the well, then?” JJ asked, his blonde hair getting blown into his face by the wind, you brushing it gently out of his vision as he continued explaining his thought process. “I mean, if Denmark was able to get this, like, bedazzled cross off of the Merchant to the shore, why didn’t he just hide it with the gold?”

“...Because it was too big.” John B realized. 

“You’re right.” Pope nodded, eyeing his two friends and nodding as his brained pieced the puzzle together. “He had to hide it someplace else…”

“But where?” You thought aloud.

“...Right before he was hung, Denmark said he buried the treasure at the foot of the angel.” Pope said.

“Wait,” JJ paused. “I thought this was about the key?” He pondered. “What’s the connection here?”

Pope sighed, pulling the aforementioned key from his pocket — the one he found in his grandma’s parlor. “The path to the tomb begins in the island room…” He said, reading the secret message revealed by the key, trying to mentally search for clues.

“But what is the island room?” Kiara groaned, throwing her head back.

“Y’know what helps me figure shit out?” JJ threw out, tossing the lighter onto the outdoor table, eyes focused on Pope. “Smokin’ beers and drinkin’ weed.” He said proudly, your face twisting in confusion. “The ideas just start to pour out of me. If we just sit here and try to figure this out, we’re gonna get nowhere.” He said seriously, sitting up to look at his friends more directly. “But if we get creative and go to this bonfire tonight? Maybe we get somewhere.”

“I think you just want an excuse to go to a bonfire.” You added, a smug look on your face as he turned to look at you, his hair messed up from laying in your lap.

“Shh…” He quieted with a finger to your lips, your eyes fleeting between the digit and his eyes. “You just haven’t mastered the technique to greatness yet. This is a plan of master intelligence. Drunk minds lead to sober finds, baby.”

You scoffed, lightly brushing his fingers from your lips as Kie spoke.

“Well, I just got disowned by my parents…and I’m an official member of the I-have-nothing-to-lose club.” She smiled, throwing her hands out.

“Pope?” JJ turned to the boy, a question on his lips. You all could see the denial brewing in his eyes, JJ catching it before any words left Pope’s lips. “Look — think about how much you could think if you just gave your brain a rest.”

He seemed to sit on the thought, looking at each of you individually before caving in. “...Okay, fine.”

“That’s a yes, folks. We’re headed out!” JJ exclaimed, jumping up from his place as the other three did the same, heading towards the van. You were getting up on your own before the blonde’s hand went under your arms, lifting you into his embrace. Your arms wound around his neck as he carried you happily. “First couple bonfire, baby!” He smiled, looking into your eyes. “You gotta do keg stand with me.”

THE BONFIRE — AN OUTER BANKS TRADITION. It’s the same weekend every year. Everyone goes. Literally everyone. After finding a fortune, and losing it, a little fun around a fire couldn’t hurt, right?

The party was in full swing by the time you’d all arrived, the entire party recognizing your small group by the sight of The Twinkie. JJ helped you out of the van, your ears immediately attacked by the loud cheering, endless chatter, and raging music. 

The only real light was the huge bonfire in the center of the party — the flames lit in a small pit of the abandoned skatepark that happened to be this years secret location. Kiara and Pope went off on their own almost as soon as they left the van — the two getting into a small dispute on the way over. Pope believed that if Kie listened to her parents instead of arguing, she could go back home. Kiara disagreed and told Pope that he sounded like her dad.

You, JJ, and John B were already grabbing beers from a cooler — the two boys swallowing theirs down within seconds. John B did his own complaining on the way over — not a single sentence spoken without the mention of Sarah Cameron.

“And she was like ‘that’s it’. She done with me.” He whined, even after downing a beer.

“I know, but dude? Her father blew up in front of her.” JJ reminded, clapping a hand on the boys shoulder. 

“J’s right, John B.” You said, sipping your own beer as you looked around at the party goers. “ Just give her a minute-” You were cut off when a beer can clattered at all three of your feet, looking up to find the girl who’d passed John B that note in class with a lazy smile on her face.

“Hey, derelicts!” She shouted, giggling drunkenly.

“Hey!” JJ exclaimed, kicking the beer droplets from his shoes. “There she is…” He mumbled, side-eyeing JB. “That’s all you, my friend.” He said, throwing an arm over your shoulder and walking away from John B. “I’m outta here.” He said, throwing a peace sign over his shoulder.

The two of you walked away with bright smiles on your faces, laughing.

“Was I good wingman back there? One through ten...” JJ asked, a light smile on his face. 

“Eh. I’ll give you an eight.” You shrugged lightheartedly.

“An eight?” He asked, his arm slipping from your shoulder to hold your hand as he turned to talk to you, face to face. “Where’d my other two points go?”

“You lost them because for one, that’s the same girl he made out with last year and never texted back because he said she was trashy and desperate. But neither of you remember that.” You reprimanded jokingly. “And two, I do feel kind of bad. Sarah’s probably somewhere crying and John B’s out here flirting with some girl…” 

JJ groaned, stepping closer to you. “Trust me — Sarah is not moping around. I’ll bet you a million dollars that she’s with her knight in shining armor right now.”

“JJ, that’s not fair-”

“But it’s the truth. I know you two are sort of friends again but you can’t seriously tell me that you don’t think she ran to Topper.” You chewed the inside of you cheek, squinting your eyes.

“...I say have some faith in her.” You challenged, shifting your weight and crossing your arms, a mischievous smile on your face.

JJ chuckled, downing the remaining portion of his beer before taking your face in his hand gently, rubbing a thumb over your cheek as he looked down at you — the fire illuminating the side of your face beautifully. “You’re cute.” He cooed. “Twenty bucks says Sarah ran back to Topper and they’ll show up tonight.”

“And if I’m right?” You contested, cocking an eyebrow. “If they don't?” You asked, eyes on the blonde’s lips.

“Well, that’s up to you.” He said, fighting a smile as his eyes bored into yours. “What do you want?...” He asked, voice just above a whisper.

Your tongue traced the inside of your mouth as your eyes scanned his face. The two of you had been dating for less than twenty-four hours and the tension was already suffocating. And you were in public, for that matter. But for some reason, that fact didn’t affect you all that much.

“Yo, Maybank!” A deep, brassy voice rang out — JJ turning around as you peered over his shoulder to find one of the football players with his hands up. “Beer pong?” He offered, holding a ping pong ball between his fingers. 

JJ turned back to you, a raised eyebrow. You just shrugged as the boy took your hand, walking you over. “Yeah, me and my girl are playin’!”

“AND THAT’S THREE TO ZEROOO!” JJ TAUNTED AS HIS PING PONG BALL LANDED IN THE OTHER TEAMS LAST CUP, beer sloshing as the round object hit the liquid. The people surrounding you cheered as the other team, the football player and his girlfriend, groaned and downed the cup of beer.

You’d been playing for at least half an hour, you and JJ consuming more beer than a dad of three on a football Sunday. JJ was no lightweight. You, on the other hand, have never been too good at controlling yourself after your third or fourth drink. There were different types of drunks — the loud one, the whiny one, the vomiter...

You were the touchy drunk. The flirtatious drunk. And the countless cups of beer were just starting to kick in — your body feeling warm and tingly as the night went on.

A chill traveled up the length of your spine when JJ pulled you into a celebratory hug, lifting you off your feet and planting a quick kiss on your lips. It was such an odd thing — all these feelings you had for him just seemed to amplify.

You did mean it when you said you saw him as a friend. Most of the time. Before you were together or expressed feeling for each other, you had moments here and there where you saw JJ from a not-so friendly perspective. You may have a had a little crush on him but who didn’t? He was hot.

So, yeah, maybe you’d stare a little longer than appropriate when he’d take his shirt off at the beach and maybe, just maybe, him calling you princess would make your heart beat a little faster and maybe that’s why you would tell him stop.

But now, you were his girlfriend. And he was your boyfriend. And even a day into dating, he had no problem showing it. His hands never hesitated when he wanted them on you and if your lips were there, trust and believe he’d kiss them. He’d take the time to help you out of and into the van and he seemed to love throwing his arm around your shoulder.

The little touches and looks ignited a new fire in you and with the liquor running through you, the small flame inside was more like a wildfire. Ever since everything that happened with Rafe, you hadn’t really felt comfortable when it came to intimacy. But something about JJ made it feel like you weren’t treading in such deep water without knowing how to swim. You felt safe.

“Alright, we’re done. Go find someone else to kick your ass.” JJ joked as he set you down, taking a few steps to give his friend a bro-hug, clapping each other on the shoulder. JJ held out his hand when he turned back to you. You eagerly put your hand in his, the two of you walking away and towards the center of the pit where people were sitting and dancing around the fire.

The blonde sat down and motioned for you to do the same, his hand never unlinking from yours until you were completely sat and comfortable. “...You done already?” You asked, watching as JJ perked up at the sound of your voice.

“What do you mean?” He asked, eyebrows cinching curiously.

“This is your, like, natural habitat.” You laughed, motioning to the party around you. “Normally, you go from shotgunning beers to the keg stand within fifteen minutes.”

He laughed lightly at your observation, his head dipping down for a moment. “Yeah, I guess…”

“Soooo?...” You questioned, a tipsy smile on your face. 

“...I don’t know.” He sighed, looking at you. The bonfire illuminated his hair, making it look borderline golden. “I don’t wanna tire you out. I know you’re still recovering from...you know-”

“Pfft-” You cut him off. “Don’t worry about meee…” You groaned, shaking the boys shoulders. “I’m fine. I don’t even know what Barry gave me-”

“Yeah, I know.” JJ said seriously. “That’s the problem. I probably shouldn’t have even let you down that many beers…”

“JJ.” You deadpanned, a semi-drunken pout on your lips. “I’m fine.”

“...No one is really fine after something like that.” He said sadly, looking you in the eyes.

In truth, he was right. The events of yesterday had been playing in your mind since you woke up. Little flashes, here and there. It made it so hard to sleep — and you prayed you wouldn’t have a repeat of last summer all over again. You may not remember every single event but you couldn’t seem to forget how the entire ordeal made you feel. Helpless, disgusting…alone. But you figured, you got through it all once, right? What was one more time?

You didn’t want to bring down the mood and it was clear that’s where this was headed. So when your ears cued in on the song playing over the speakers, a bright smile planted itself on your face as you stood up, holding a hand out for JJ that he took without hesitation. But not without question.

“What’re you doin’?” He asked, a small chuckle leaving his lips.

“Dance with me.”

“Ah, I don’t think this is really a slow dancing song, princess.” He protested, a sheepish smile on his face. “And I don’t know how to do that, anyway.”

“Who said anything about slow dancing?” You asked as if he asked a ridiculous question. “We’re at a bonfire, not a debutante ball.” You joked.

“A what?”

“Oh my God.” You sighed with a smile. “Just dance with me, you loser.” You urged, spinning in his arms so that you were facing away from him and pressing yourself against him, putting both of his hands on your waist as you swayed against him.

“Oh-” JJ said, your quick movements catching him off guard before he seemed to find himself. “This kind of dancing.” He said — his fingers pressing into the exposed skin of your waist as he matched your movements. Your own hands trailed up his arms — one steady feeling up his bicep as the other traveled up to the nape of his neck.

Normally, you’d be a little nervous in a situation like this. But with the alcohol, the fact that most of the people around were too drunk to notice, and the consideration of the other ten couples that were nearly tongue-fucking one another scattered around the skate park — a little grinding was the least of anyone’s concerns.

You were surprised when you felt the skin of JJ’s lips brush against the skin of your neck, the hairs standing up at the contact. You could faintly hear him humming the lyrics of the song — the combination of his featherlight touch and the sound of his voice making one dangerous duo.

You didn’t realize you were subconsciously pushing yourself further into him until you felt the familiar feeling of something pressing into your backside, the same feeling you felt in Charleston. You were starting to take it as a compliment. And he didn't seem as apologetic this time around.

At the feeling of him pressed against you, you craned your neck to look at him when the boy wasted no time in encapsulating your lips with his — a sloppy, passionate kiss as you both swayed against each other. You swore you heard a wolf-whistle somewhere but you paid no mind, turning in JJ’s hold to wrap both arms around his neck as he pulled you even closer into him.

One of his hands started to trace your spine all the way down to your ass when shouting distracted you both.

“Relax!” You both broke your exchange, turning around to see Sarah, John B, Topper, and the girl you’d left John B with all in each other’s faces.

“Why don’t you just leave, Sarah?” The girl sassed, the entire party quieting down aside from the people egging on the altercation, flashlights coming on as people started to record. “You aren’t even together anymore-”

“Why are you still talking?!” Sarah exclaimed, hands in the girls face.

“Have a little respect. Her dad just died!” Topper jumped in, reprimanding the girl.

“Shut up, Kook!” She spat, chin up. “Back off!” She warned, pushing Topper back with one arm.

“What’s going on?” Pope asked from beside you and JJ — him and Kiara seeming to have made their way through the crowd.

“The confrontation of the century.” JJ laughed, throwing an arm over your shoulder. “You owe me twenty dollars, princess.” He whispered, planting a quick kiss on your cheek. You didn’t miss the way Pope’s eyes squinted, you turning to look at him. The curly-haired boy pointed back and forth between you and JJ, raising an eyebrow and crossing his fingers — a silent question.

You nodded, a sheepish smile on your face. Pope smiled and held out his fist, waiting for you to bump yours with his. You scoffed, giving him a fist bump. You couldn’t turn back to face the argument without meeting Kie’s eyes that no doubt saw the interaction between you and Pope. She looked sad. Disappointed, almost.

“She’s a real gem.” Sarah said sarcastically to John B.

“What am I to you, huh?” He challenged, stepping closer to Sarah as Topper and the girl argued in the background. “Am I just another one? Like him?” He questioned, motioning towards Topper.

“She just another groupie to add to your collection?” Sarah retorted, standing toe to toe with the boy.

“Sarah, it doesn’t matter-” Topper tried but he went ignored.

“Did I mean anything to you?!” Sarah’s voice rose, her fists balling at her sides as Topper tugged on her arms.

“You’re questioning me when you’re here with your ex?!” John B shouted back.

“Did you tell her?!”

“Are you serious?!”

“Hey, back off!” Topper stepped in eventually, eye to eye with John B. “You wanna start some shit right now?!”

“Do I wanna start some shit?...” John B asked menacingly, head held high.

“Come on, John B! Kick his ass!” Some random bystander yelled, phone in hand. The four of you looked at one another nervously.

“Should we…?” Kiara dragged out.

“Yeah.” Pope answered the half-asked question, the four of you wrestling your way through the mob of people to reach your friends. Too preoccupied with pushing your way through, you couldn’t see what was happening. But you could hear.

“They all know what happened last time!” That was Topper.

“Just get out! Go!” Sarah. Who was she talking to?

“I’ll beat your ass!” Topper. Again.

“Get out of here, Topper!” John B said.

“Hey!” A new voice. “She don’t want you anymore, bro!” Was that Kelce? 

“Shut the hell up...” John B warned, pushing the boy out of his face. You were able to see this happen just as the four of you made it to the center where they stood.

“What’re you gonna do, John B?” He pressed. “Kill me like you killed Sheriff Peterkin? Huh?” Wrong move, Kelce. Wrong. Move. “Do something!-” And something was indeed done as John B doubled back to punch the boy in his jaw, sending him stumbling back into the crowd.

Topper took the opportunity to charge at JB, grabbing him up by his shirt and tossing him to the ground. This urged you and your friends to jump in, the crowd closing in.

“Hey!” The four of you yelled angrily, pushing people out of the way.

“Move!” You shouted, forcefully shoving bodies out of you way. “Get the f- move!” You broke through just in time to see the girl John B was chatting up push Sarah to the concrete, JB calling the blonde’s name. You shoved the girl away, seeing her tumble on her ass. “Move, bitch!”

“What’s your problem?!” Kiara shouted at the girl as well, emerging next to you after witnessing the assault herself. “You all right?” Kie asked Sarah as the girl pushed herself up.

“What the hell?!” The girl that pushed her screamed. “Whose side are you on?!”

“She’s our friend!” You retorted. “Guys!” You shouted, looking around for your three male friends — spotting them to your right. John B was being pinned down by Topper, Pope had bum rushed half a dozen people to get to him, and JJ had leaped over one of the short walls to help his friend.

Pope went straight for Kelce who was helping Topper jump JB — taking a few nasty hits to his torso before managing to subdue the boy.

JJ had his sights on Topper — snatching the boy off of his best friend and into a chokehold.

“JJ!” You shouted, you and Kie rushing over. “We have to leave!” You warned, not getting too close.

“It’s not worth it, guys, come on!” Kiara bellowed.

Pope was the first one to ground himself, pushing Kelce off of him and to the concrete before gathering JJ and John B. “C’mon, we’re done!” He rushed, pushing the two boys ahead of him.

“We good?” JJ asked John B, full of adrenaline. He was on a streak, huh? 

“We’re good.” John B exasperated, adjusting his shirt.

The five of you walked away from the party, JJ grabbing your hand so he didn’t lose you in the crowd. Piling into the van, the five of you sped off watching the chaos continue through the vehicle windows.

“WELL, THAT WAS A LITTLE UNEXPECTED.” JJ pointed out the obvious, crushing an empty beer can in his hand and leaning against the van. You’d stopped at a convenience store, The Twinkie parked outside. You and JJ had gone inside to get drinks as John B sat inside, legs outstretched in front of him with a cold beer pressed to his head, Kiara and Pope sitting up front with Kie in the driver’s seat. 

“Was it?” She protested, pulling her face together.

“Couldn’t just have one night without some shit going on.” Pope sighed angrily, throwing his head back.

“Hey, maybe she’ll come around.” JJ tried the optimistic approach, eyes on John B who looked like he couldn’t be more over it if he tried.

“...It’s like everything that happened to us didn’t matter.” John B said sadly, looking at his shoes. “And maybe it doesn’t.”

“I’VE HAD MORE BLACK EYES IN THE LAST MONTH THAN I’VE EVER HAD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.” Pope said jokingly, trying to lighten the mood. It wasn’t as gloomy as it was in the van on the way back, but the gray cloud was still there.

You were all back at The Chateau now, crowded around your own bonfire. You and JJ sat on one bench, Marley curled up at your feet while John B and Kie sat on another, Pope having a lawn chair all to himself as him, you, and JB roasted marshmallows.

“That was building up for years.” JJ said, taking a bite out of his fresh hot pocket as you laid your head on his shoulder, roasting your marshmallow. “Rumble in the jungle.” He joked through a mouth full of food.

“Hey,” John B spoke up, eyes running between you and Kie. “Did you guys really stick up for Sarah?”

You simply shrugged. “Yeah, look like she needed it.” You said bluntly, not in a mean way. Just matter of factly. “Pogues and Kooks fight different. Sarah isn’t the fighting type, not the pogue fighting type anyway.”

“Of course I did.” Kie replied after. “She’s not a real Kook.”

“Yeah, tell that to Topper.” Pope threw out. It went silent for a few moments, the only sounds being the crickets and the crackling of the fire. And the chickens in the coop. They were oddly active tonight.

At the sound of their incessant clucking, John B’s eyes furrowed — turning around and staring off into the distance. You paid no mind to it as JJ plucked your freshly roasted marshmallow of the stick and ate it just as you’d brought it to your lips.

“Ah- hey!” You removed your head from his shoulder, pushing him playfully.

“Sorry, got a little hungry.”

“You have an entire hot pocket in your hand.”

“Yeah, but-” He was cut off when you dipped your head down taking a huge bite out of his hot pocket — the steaming food causing you to breathe wildly while chewing. “That’s what your ass gets.” He laughed, his amusement dying when Marley took the opportunity to snatch the remaining portion of the item from his hand, gulping in down in few bites. “What the hell?!”

Your own laughter erupted, almost causing you to choke on the bite of food – JJ patting your back to help out when John B shushed you. The four of you looked at him.

“What?” Pope asked.

“...Someone’s here.” He said, standing up from his seat and taking slow steps towards the chicken coop.

“You don’t think Topper would…?” Kiara threw out the possibility. 

“I wouldn’t put it past him.” JJ said, trying to find whatever it was John B was looking at. The four of you stood up, trailing behind John B.

“Hey, who’s out there?!” John B called, the five of you creeping around the bushes and trees.

“You Kooks better not try anything!” Kie warned aloud.

Suddenly, a figure emerged. “How y’all doing?” You couldn’t help but loudly smack your teeth and roll your eyes — it was no one other than the creepy guy that ran with Limbrey. 

“Not this motherfucker…” You sighed. "Don't you have a job?"

“You gotta be kidding me.” JJ complained beside you.

“Lovely evenin’ we’re havin’.” He smiled, walking towards you all and out of the woods with his hands up in surrender.

“Lovely evening we were having.” You corrected, a grimace on your face. “Go away.” You dead panned. “Creeping in the woods and peeping on minors is odd. And a felony-”

“You know, out of all of you, I think I like you the least.” He said.

“Is this where I’m supposed to fall to my knees in tears?” You sassed. “For someone dressed like a low budget G.I. Joe, I don’t think you should be too worried about me.”

“Look, I didn't come here to fuss ‘n fight.” He said. “I don’t hold a grudge with any of y’all, all right?” He reassured, slapping his hands against his thighs. “But this can go hard,” He said, patting himself down and holding his jacket open as he spun around to show that he was unarmed. “Or this can go easy.” He said plainly, throwing his arms out.

He was in front of you all now, surveying you each one by one. “You know what I’m here for.” He smiled. “Lemme give you a little demonstration, you see that swing?” He asked, pointing to the tire swing in hanging from the large tree in the backyard. “I got the best bow hunters in the Army Rangers with me.”

“Yeah?” JJ challenged.

“Mhm.” The man hummed, whistling two times before an arrow went whizzing through the air, embedding itself into the oak of the Magnolia Tree. The object startled some of your friends, you and JJ’s eyes glued to the man as he walked circles around you five. “They’ll stick you just as soon as I say so.” He threatened, stepping into Pope’s space.

JJ walked up behind him when an arrow flew right beside your ear, landing right at the blonde’s feet. You’d forgotten all about Marley until you heard her growl from beside you, looking down to see her eyes glued to the man as she bared her teeth.

You’d never heard her growl so lowly before. And maybe it was time to start teaching her some new tricks if she was going to be by your side through all this. Maybe you were both changing...

“Nuh-uh.” He warned, eyeing JJ before turning his smug grin back to Pope. “Now, I’m not gonna give you a countdown or any bullshit like that. I’m just gonna whistle.” He said bluntly, eyes boring into Pope’s who was breathing heavily, nostrils flared.

It was a tense few moments — It was Pope’s choice. But was it really? Were there really any choices at all? The air grew stiff and suffocating as you watched your friend dig into his pocket, his hand emerging with the real key this time.

He was about to hand it over when he clutched it, holding it to his chest. “No.” He muttered, shaking his head as he pressed his lips together. “This key belongs to my family.” He hissed.

The man laughed, pacing shortly on his feet. “I am losin’ my patience with you, Pope.” He informed, eyes void yet full of evil all at once. He turned back to Pope, putting two fingers to his lips, preparing himself to give the signal to his men in the woods when Pope handed over the key.

He smiled, taking the item with no urgency. “You did the right thing, kid.” He commended. “Knowing when you don’t have a choice is an underappreciated talent. You be safe, now.” He waved off, turning and walking through the remaining four of you. “Y’all have a good night.” He bid farewell as he disappeared into the trees again, multiple footsteps shuffling in the greenery to follow him out.

Pope stood there, panting like an angry bull. You’d never seen him so furious. Pope was the voice of reason. He was the level-headed one. The rational one.

Not whatever this was.

“...I am so sick, of this shit.” He rasped, his anger not allowing him to move his voice above an infuriated whisper. He shook his head, fists balled tightly as he walked off.

And you stood wondering just how much more personal was this going to get.

next chapter>

[cas-backwards-tie]

Under The Moonlight

Vladimir Makarov x Reader

Summary: You think the Commander hates your taste in music. Why is he so judgmental about what you listen to in your free time? Turns out... maybe you were caught up on the wrong thing.

Words: 2.3k

Warnings: (Vlad should probably be a warning in of itself), Passive-Aggressiveness? , Spying, Grabbing,

A/N: Ugh... I love (and hate) this song bc it gets stuck in my head so easily and it gives me such fantasy vibes. I can't help but imagine wedding vibes and him with this song every listen. btw put two diff versions in links bc those are 2/3 that I have and listen to.

"You know Arabic?" He'd asked. The first time he'd stumbled upon you listening to the song, more than curious when you'd also been singing along. With a shake of your head and a slight smile of embarrassment simultaneously dusting your cheeks with blush, this only makes his eyebrows furrow. "Then how do you know the words?"

The laugh that tumbles past your lips does nothing but further turn up the heat on the already boiling frustration and inconsequential meltdown that will no doubt later take place. "By listening to it," you answer, an inkling of a smile returning in spite of his fury, "over, and over... and over again."

With an annoyed puff of breath you know he's done with you, about to make his leave. "Why?" You ask. For once, you've swapped places as your curious eyes seek out his form.

"Because it would be useful information to know." Ever the cryptic, of course that's all he leaves you with before turning his back to you, arms crossed over his chest as he exits the room.

The second time he hears the song, he's in between meetings. It's one of those rare days where he has a little free time, not that he knows how to spend that sort of thing anymore. Having entered the library, he can hear the radio playing the Arabic song once more. Your voice joins it, again, and Vladimir finds himself subtly eyeing his surroundings as the corners of his lips twitch, tugging at a smile.

He schools himself, able to keep himself in line. While the bookshelves keep him out of view and no one's in the vicinity, he quietly strolls through the stacks, hand grazing the many novels. It seems that now you've been here longer, you're starting to get more comfortable. Even if your voice isn't the loudest, the quiet nature of a library certainly doesn't help as it carries your voice, he's sure, outdoors to the nearby stationed guards.

Once he's around the nearest bookshelf, he peeks far enough just to see your visage. From this, alone, can he paint a picture. Hand still on the page, he imagines you'd been reading, the radio on quietly as background noise, no doubt something you've continued to use since you've yet to get used to the quietness his climate provides. Thus, the radios around the Compound offer solace. He's noticed you around them often. In your focus amidst the book, you'd been distracted by the song, a familiar tune on the radio beckoning your attention. Of course, not being one to resist temptation, you couldn't resist turning it up and singing along.

He can't deny you're awful. Otherwise, he'd probably have to shoot you. It'd grow to be a nuisance, really... and dangerous, a warning signal no doubt. Yet, there's an innocence about you when you sing. Mocha-colored eyes roam your features as he watches, mesmerized, your eyes closed, as your upper body moves to the music from your chair. The smile that graces your lips is one to remember, and it's one that has him equally awed, and yet... in amusement.

"You really don't understand?" With a swift turn, Vladimir reveals himself from the bookshelves, his hands clasped behind his back casually. The gasp and jump that he'd elicited from you does nothing more than garner a chuckle from him.

"Why do you care?" You ask, hand still resting on your heart as you attempt to catch your breath. Staring at him with wild eyes, it boggles you, the way you feel like he's asked you this before. It takes a moment, as it's been at least a month or so, but you remember that he has. He's asking again. "It's not like you know," you tease, poking him back. If there's anything you'd learned early on, and he'd learned about you... it's that you love to play with Vladimir by matching fire with fire. And, equally, he too, loves to do so.

"Actually, I do, любимая," he quips. With slow and calculated steps he begins approaching the table, eyes raking over you once and then twice. "and I don't! I can assure you. I only find it amusing how you seem more than content to sing something which could mean anything... according to you."

While he stops to close the book atop your hand, inspecting the spine and choice of leisure, you suspect. You place your hand atop his, afraid he's going to take the book. It's only when he meets your gaze briefly, long enough to narrow eyes at you before immediately departing for the door a few feet behind you. "Wait!" You call after him. Turning in your seat, a hand comes up to rest against the bulbous ear of the chair; thudding boots abruptly come to a halt as the Commander stops, albeit he doesn't turn around. "What does it mean, then?" You ask, words getting quieter as you start to lose confidence the further the moment continues.

"I'm sure you'd love to know." That's all he leaves you with. Dissatisfied and annoyed with the pettiness and childlike behavior the Commander can sometimes exhibit, you ignore him whenever you can. After all, while he may have originally intrigued you, whatever curiosity you had is not worth whatever outcome you receive in the aftermath of one of his moods.

When you finally find out what the song means, it's at a moment you were completely unexpecting it. After a successful mission, you'd all celebrated by building a big bonfire at camp, sitting around after dinner, sharing stories, and drink. It's not every day you get to let loose, and while normally there's a fairly tight schedule to work around, you know better to take advantage of a free day when you can. With this in mind, you drink to your heart's content. After all, it's on the Commander, right? Listening to the stories, your head leans back against the wooden makeshift benches as your eyes find the bright stars above.

It may be an effortless attempt to map them out, or mentally draw out the constellations you know, but as you listen to the jokes, the stories, songs, and laugh along, it isn't until there's a momentary silence that you finally raise your head again. Scanning around the fire, you notice that everyone's gone to bed, it seems. And sure, while it's been a long day and it'd been getting late, you didn't think everyone would've left so soon. Yet, your eyes are drawn to the only other pair you see, staring at you from a few feet to your right. The last person left at the fire.

"You're not tired?" He asks, and it's weird. It's like there's no mask up this time. You're not sure if it's the alcohol playing tricks on you right now, or if you're really hearing him correctly, but he almost sounds... genuine.

Head leant back against the wood once again, you let it loll to the right, finally able to meet his gaze. The flames make his eyes shine brightly, his features illuminated in a fiery glow. His hair is slightly amess, some strands not falling in the same direction as the wind has blown them around. Nose and jaw sharply outlined by the shadows of the night, you can't help but feel warmth, and not because you're both sitting right in front of the fire. Eyes having roamed his features, they finally meet his again as he turns his gaze from the fire once more to you, clearly anticipating an answer.

With a shake of your head, you do nothing to stop the way your lashes slowly flutter, the mere thought and mention of sleep threatening. As you lift the bottle in your hands to your lips again, wanting to finish the last little fifth or sixth of drink left in it, you're met with a disgruntled hum. "I think you've had enough."

The words should be a warning to you. A loud and clear signal as to what was about to happen, and yet you hadn't put two and two together in your intoxicated state of mind. "Mm-mm. 'Slmost finished," you manage to slur out. Lifting the bottle again, Vladimir is quick to stand, closing the space between you as he snatches it out of your hand and tosses it into the fire. The glass breaks, flames fanning higher momentarily as he reaches under your armpits and lifts you up. There isn't much of a struggle considering you can't put up much of a fight in your state.

"It's time you get some sleep," he states, wrapping an arm around your back as he attempts to guide you to a tent. He guides you outside of the fire circle until you don't move. And while he's a strong man, perhaps it's the drink, or he doesn't know what, but you're being as stubborn as a rock.

"What's it mean?" You ask. This takes him aback; the Commander knows you're not ignorant, and while you may be drunk, there's certainly no way that vodka, or any sort of liquor no matter the quantity is capable of erasing such a simple fact as the meaning of sleep. While he takes a step back, eyes beginning to search for signs of injury, it isn't until he follows your gaze that he understands.

Albeit the distant snoring, the wind, the roaring fire, and crunching of both your boots, he hadn't realized. It was quiet, the radio on the other side of the firepit. The device had been left on, and while the two of you had stayed awake he hadn't paid too much mind to it, yet now he can't help but smile. Of course, of course of all moments this song would play. Right now.

"You really want to know?" Vladimir asks, not backing away as he towers over you, eyes meeting your face in the darkness as he waits for your attention to find him again. After all, perhaps with the way he's been the one to hear you all these little times, maybe... just maybe it could be a sign.

Ridiculous, of course. That's what he told himself for months now, too good to be true. He knows what he's done... what he's had to do. What he will do and must, not just for himself but for his people, for the planet, in order to not only survive, but bring the world to a state that will be beneficial for all. Nevertheless, they always say there's a price one must pay for such deeds. He knows this true... and while he might have dreamt at times of other lives and wanted for other things, those boy's dreams were crushed long ago.

That was... until the radio started playing that song only moments ago. As he scans your face, eager and almost impatient for you to turn your eyes on him, when you do, it's not what he expects. The scoff that meets him leaves him taken aback. Met with an eye roll, and an attempt to walk past him. He knows. He knows he can be rough, and while it might be harsh he grabs your arm and keeps you from walking any further away. Whatever prize he thinks he's found, whatever omen, sign, or soul tie... he's not letting this go. He's not letting you go.

"I know you're just gonna trick me again, okay?" While other times he might be delighted to hear that you think he'd play games with you, nothing but stoicism sits on his features.

Bringing you in close, he searches your eyes as he whispers. "The love words of his eyes are sweeter than songs." Vladimir cautiously places a hand on your waist, the one holding your arm releasing its grip as it slides up to rest on your shoulder. "From a couple of words, from a greeting, I become someone else. When he sways, my heart sways with him. I may sacrifice my eyes and whole life for him, and it's too little." He repeats the words, the two of you gently swaying in the moonlit camp as the music quietly accompanies him in the background through the aged radio.

"My night, oh, night, my night." It feels as if with each passing moment his voice somehow gets quieter and quieter if that was even possible, yet you're already so impossibly close. "Oh night, my night, his love makes the night longer. The love of years between him and I. Just one more step, my heart, it's not a fantasy." Your noses just barely brush against each other, breath mingling in the space between you.

"My soul just go with him and get lost in his beauty. His covets the magic of life, his charm extraordinary. The one whose eyes the moon envied. The smile is the shining sun." There's no denying the heat between you, the tension thick in the minimal space between you, both of your eyes closed as you revel in this moment. Yet, he knows he shouldn't. You wish he would. As the song comes to an end on the radio, he's the first to open his eyes, eager to watch your open yours. As you do, it's the same happiness and adoration that he's seen you with on your expression even when you had no idea what the song had meant.

You might not have known what it meant... but something about the vocals and the expression of the song had just given you the sense that it had been about exactly everything Vladimir had just described to you. "Thank you," you whisper, not quite ready to leave this moment. Not ready to leave his arms.

Zziiippp!!!

The sound of a tent opening nearby causes both of you to distance yourselves, something within each of you sobering up instantly. While, sure, he's the Commander and can have anything he wants... you both know things are better this way.

____________

translations:

любимая = loved one / darling / lovely

forever taglist: @safarigirlsp , @jynzandtonic , @moonlightsolo ,@ohdamnadam

[xuchiya]

"My super-natural love" || yunho x female reader : san x female reader

genre: supernatural words: 2312 note: i'm planning it to be my mini-series hehe but i'm still thinking about it. THIS IS ORGINALLY FROM MY DREAM :>

 Choi San and the rest of his 99’s friends were here in the school, which shocked me since this is the first time I saw all of them complete and interested in this event ever since the school interacted with the venue-coordinator of the event. Even if Choi San is more than just a crush, my heart could not comprehend the thought of him approaching a girl, yet I woke myself up that if he knows or not, that I like him then there’s nothing i can do.

It is what it is then. So I accepted that he’ll approach pretty and more elegant girls and not me.

I sigh, thumping the pencil on my paper as I reviewed for my final exams until I felt Yeosang’s presence and so is Yunho. I looked up and smiled at them. I may not be friends with San but I’m good friends with these two.

“You know, you should approach him. He likes it when girls do the first move, it’s a point for him.” Yunho said and I scoffed, “Just tell me straight in the face he doesn’t like me or I’m not his type.”

Yeosang shakes his head, “Oh no no, you are indeed his type so shut up and listen as we say. He likes you.” I shake my head, looking towards the door to see Madam Shaine signalling to climb up first since the first batch are now taking the exams. 

I took my bag, “Well I'd rather keep this than tell it to him.” 

They both shrug towards each other as they watch me walk away at the same time, San came over to our spot, his eyes were lingering before he engaged himself in a conversation with the others.

“You can’t swim?” I nodded, twirling the pen in my hand. As weird as it sounds and different ability as all the others I met, mine has to do with levitation. Mind control too. I barely used my mind control as it felt too dark and too deep of a magic.

“When I was kid, I almost drowned and at the same time, I discovered I could levitate. So it’s like a trauma and the best day combines.” Yunho chuckles, sprinkle me from his water bottle which I kick him in the leg playfully. They started opening up their past and how they discovered their powers. We would laugh and pull a shocked face whenever they told us about a traumatizing or scary experience.

Unbeknownst to my knowledge, San and Mingi exchange places. Yunho saw the whole thing happening, kept his patience trying his best to keep the conversation between us alive until San cut in.

“Are you coming to the event?” A deep voice spoke beside me, I looked to my side to see San leaning close to my side. I cleared my throat, nodding, “Yeah some of my friends are coming and this could be our last event for super-natural.”

He sat even closer, his cologne nudging my nostrils and his heat was not helping the thumping of my heart. I look over to see Yeosang smirking at me. I shake my head as San and I converse in a simple conversation.

 “San, is Joana coming? She must be excited for the up-coming event… She looks forward to your confession.” Mingi teased which led to everyone teasing him excluding you and Yunho– who was observing me on the side. My throat tightens into thought of him being actually in a relationship or whatever their status is. I moved more to my left, where Yunho is. 

Yunho sensed my presence and made more space to lean on him, I thanked him quietly as I (did my best) listening to their conversation. I am being careful and placing a distance between me and San, knowing he had someone already in his arms and I do not want to be the cause of their fight or worse— their break-up. I rather be hurt than seeing people hurt.

I really should stop being delusional with all the bare minimum.

I was pulled to sit in their area when we were about to take our finals before going to the event. I shook my head and sat a few chairs away from them.

  When I get to the super-natural event for gifted children, lines of different brands of cars align outside and thousands of murmurs of voices overlap one another and the deep bass of the music inside the venue can be heard.

I was lost since I wasn’t able to listen to the professor's instruction a while ago inside the school perimeters and now I have to suffer the consequences until I see one of my old friends— Jongho. His eyes lit up and grabbed and interloop our arms together, “Where have you been?!” 

“I was lost but what happened?” He gave me a letter, a dried flower taped to the back with my name neatly cursive in a gold lettering, an envelope sealed in a crest for Jeong’s. My eyebrow furrowed,“Yunho? Wait we were supposed to give letters?” 

“Apparently yes but in this tradition. If you really want to pursue someone, you really go to make an effort on the letter given to that person.” He looks at the envelope and then smiles, “Looks like Yunho-hyung likes you.”

My heart thump to my chest and at the same time, my hopes fell to my feet that the mere chances of San is already down to zero. Maybe it is time to let go and move on to this crush I had in San; maybe have a way with Yunho, besides the whole time I was going nuts in every interaction with San— he was a witness. Yunho has been patient with all of my tantrums and sadness over his friend whilst keeping his feelings to the side. 

   “I’ll give him a chance.” The envelope has a location where you could meet the person who gave you the letter. If you do not show up on the said location it means you have rejected it. But Jongho is persistent since his sister will be receiving her first confession— mind you she is 3 years older to Jongho and a year ahead of all of us.

  The place seems like an old ancient temple of the Myth Gods. Uneven and short stairs then unexpected cobblestone pillars reaching the ceiling as a support and then a few people scattered talking much quieter than the ones we passed by a while ago. When we reached the said location, Jongho walked towards the mini bridge and to both sides of the bridge there are stairs. I looked over it and saw a few people down in the pool. The Aphrodite pool. It is said to be deep and no person can come up unless love has been confessed and to the other side of the mini bridge made my heart soar when I made eye contact with Yunho, who was leaning against his harley davidson vrsc in his all black outfit. His slint eyes were staring already in mine, compared to his puppy eyes back at school.

“Oh~” Jongho snapped his fingers, I furrowed my eyebrows only to notice that he placed me in a spaghetti strap ruffle faint pink dress and a white princess shoes, I smiled at him.

“Goodluck noona!”

It was a completely different Yunho that I am seeing right now. My throat tightens when Jongho hands me the envelope and leads me downstairs, towards Yunho. He smiles gently, reaching for my hand. With a small hesitation, I placed my hand on top of his, with his inhuman strength, he placed me on top of his motorbike.

He leans against me while nudging me to open the letter, “Go on tulip.” My cheeks flaring from the unexpected nickname but oblige to his request. 

    "Amor difficilis esse potest, sicut facile esse potest, tamen hic sum a principio te amans, et amare te difficile erit nisi oculis meis occurras."

  I look at him with confusion, “Since when Yunho? I– It must be hard for you to know that I gush over you friend—” He shakes his head, taking my hand to his large ones, his full finger ring cold against my sweaty palms, “Summer break. I just realize it over that time, can’t get you out of my head, how adorable you look whenever you want to spend time in Discord and then you’ll rant about the most random thing in these world, or how you would “flex” about your collection and the way you would cry whenever you remember you remember that you gave away this stuff bunny to your cousin because they also fell in love with it how you fell in love with it too.”

My heart was beyond the moon. His observation on the little things triggers my heart, his sweetness and consideration. My head is fighting me for being blind when Yunho could be the person I am with from the beginning instead of being a hopeless romantic or hoping to be with San.

“Yunho—”

“YOU!” A voice roared out of nowhere, interrupting my conversation with Yunho. We both look for the voice, we were both greeted with a panicking Jongho which is unusual, I took Jongho’s shaking hands in mine, squeezing it, “Hey hey~ What’s happening?”

“I– I told her that you like Yunho now but she—” A scream left my lips when a force gripped my entire body and pulled me up in the air and faced the raging woman. Her hair was literally floating like snakes and her eyes were in the shade of red like the aura she was giving.

Anger.

“You dare set foot on this territory after claiming my Sannie?! You thick faced bitch!” SHe roared in my face, I wiggle out not liking each second it tightness, “I never claimed him nor ever been with him. He is just a friend—”

“I do not care! Lies! Lies! For your punishment, face your worst fears~!” My eyes widened in fear when she took me to the pool. Few people were there but they all pushed themselves out when they saw us approaching, “Noona ! This is unacceptable! Punishment for a mere misunderstanding is not gonna solve anything!”

“Shut up!” Joana swing Jongho away when he tried to approach her. My eyes widened when his body crashed onto one of the pillars, “Jongho!”

“Joana stop! She did not do anything!” Yunho yells, Jongho pleading with his sister to let me go even with his weak state. Mingi and Yeosang helping the youngest but Joana’s anger was blinding her. With a few spells chanted by her, the pool suddenly changed into a different color and I could feel the energy within the water change, I squirm out of the force but it only tightens.

“Use it” I shake my head, looking at Yeosang. He had the look of ‘Do it’ but I was stubborn. I have promised myself I would never use my second ability to someone, whether in this situation or different– never, “She’s going to drown you in the pool of agony vengeance!” 

I saw Yeosang walk towards San, gripping his collar, “Control your girlfriend! She’s gonna kill someone innocent!” San remove Yeosang’s grip, eyes glued to you and Joana the whole time. He walks towards them, “Joana, let her go please. She’s my friend's girlfriend, nothing more.”

Joana’s head snapped to him, “Friend?! I can smell her scent on you! Are those friends?!” He shakes his head, “We have to use the utility bus from our school and it is clamped up, no space or seats available okay?”

“Excuses!” I cried out this time, tears streaming down my cheeks. My lungs were crushing inside me making it hard to breathe each passing minute. My head was losing oxygen, eyes blurry from the lack of air. Joana glances at the state you were in and smirks, leaning you close to her, “San is only mine.”

She said those words before I felt my whole body free from her tight grip and my body fell into the water. It made a huge splash causing everyone to panic. Yunho removed his coat and leather sash, his shoes and socks before jumping in the water.

Diving in and swimming as fast as he could but to his dismay, the water became too dense for to swim. His heart was beating loudly in his chest as your lifeless body slowly sunk down deeper and deeper in the depths of Aprhodite’s agony, his heart was full and ready to pursue you and he could see the changes in your body language when you were considering moving on and giving him a chance but it all took away from him from a small understanding.

A figure swam past him in great speed, he halted when he saw the black haired male grabbing you in his arms before swimming back to the surface, Yunho knowing who he was and swam up after.

San places you down on the ground, pale and barely breathing. San was breathing heavily, hands shaking before yelling out, “Call an ambulance! She’s barely breathing.”

Yunho pushes himself out of the water taking San’s place, he leans down to grab your hand which was cold, “Hey tulip~ hold on okay? Help is coming!” He knew he had to do CPR while waiting but with his inhuman strength he might hurt you so he called on Seonghwa to do it.

Yunho watches to the side as his hyung saves you before it is too late. He glances at San who was watching Seonghwa too, his eyes swirling in different emotions, yet Yunho kept his cool and picking a fight with his friend won’t solve anything. Certainly, it won't remove the anger he has towards his friend for hurting you; Yunho is great friends with San for a very long time and he rather would want to maintain an understanding relationship with San than destroying it.

So, both boys were left with small hope in their hands.

[our-trans-youth-experience]

So, thing that I find slightly funny and maybe a bit ironic

About a year and a half ago a friend of mine (who is a trans) wanted to start like a club that was a bit like a safe space for queer kids that you didn't have to sign up for and could just go to during like breaks and stuff (cause otherwise u have to get parent permission esp cause most clubs are after school and ur parents get notifications and that's bad for some ppl) and so he talked to a teacher we had and got it going.

At first practically no one went - partially bc of bad advertising and also maybe cause it was a bit scary to go - and he reiterated that allies could come too, my friend group wanted to support him and maybe seeing ppl there would encourage more kids to come members so we all went + it was a space were we wouldn't have half eaten apples thrown at us by eshays so it was a win-win all around.

Anyway, one of my friends made a (good natured) joke about how it was funny that there actually weren't that many queer kids in the club and that it was actually mostly cishet allies.

I find this funny because since then; 1) my friendgroup has grown and we now have A LOT more queer ppl, 2) quite a few of my friends have had realisations like 'oh i'm a lesbian/bi/trans/queer' and 3) that the very same person who made the joke in the first place figured out they're trans, changed their name to smth more masc and use diff pronouns.

idk i just found that kinda funny + a great example of the whole 'birds of a feather flock together' and 'queer ppl usually hang out in groups' thing

A similar-ish thing happened to me, I was adopted by a queer friendship group and was already questioning my gender, but I thought I couldn't possibly be trans because I wasn't sure what gender I wanted to be (I turned out agender lol), but they helped me realise that yes, being queer is totally normal, and you don't have to be a certain way to be queer.

Also that sounds like a great idea, I'd love a club like that :]

-Kay

[ongreenergrasses]

kinda a dark question but who do you think is the last surviving victor? To be the last person in panem to have lived through horrors of the games must be a very jarring realization, but also a relief in a way because they are the last. Even being the last 2 victors remaining must be a, "wow this is it, only down to 2 left" moment - which is a realization they must've had in the context of the games but now in a diff context. I personally feel as though its Annie and Enobaria who outlive the others (sorry Haymitch, Beetee, Katniss, Johanna, and Peeta), and I particularly think that Annie takes on an advocacy/remeberance role in the new panem once she's a bit older despite what everyone expects her to do (live a normal, quiet life with her son, but how could she really?). Esp with everyone underestimating her as quiet/timid, when in reality she isn't (when she speaks up during the voting) I think she finds power in reclaiming her voice and use it for good. I really don't see Katniss trying to mirror that bc she was so young with so much unwanted responsibility and trauma that she doesn't want to revisit- she already fought the good fight - nothing more to say. Not that that has anything to do with why I think Annie would outlive her lol but I just see her making an effort to support and be a voice to this weird group of traumatized kids turned adults. oops this went on way longer than I wanted but feel free to add on and plz don't let me bias you...

I definitely agree, I think Enobaria and Annie outlive the others. I think Annie has a really complex situation at first and lives in a pretty bad and isolated state for years before her son goes to school due to grief and fear and (my hc) being forcibly medicated due to being an “unstable” single mom and miserable, but once he does and she goes back to work and gets off the meds if she so chooses, things start to get much better and she reintegrates and has a place in the community (and finds love again). I think that’s more than any of the other victors really get and that sense of connection and belonging is going to increase her sense of purpose and make her just. healthier.

I think Enobaria’s the second best at that because of both her incredible resilience (they’re all resilient but she’s the most poised and together at the end of mj during the victors’ meeting with Coin, with Annie close on her heels) and the attitudes in Two, and so I think she’d also live longer than the other victors. I definitely think as the years pass they both take on a more active role in advocacy, however that manifests, and Enobaria might get to that before Annie does just because of the variety of factors at play in Annie’s life that are going to make her have to focus inward for a while.

(also two of the other victors are struggling with substance abuse and two more are exceptionally mentally ill by the end of mj. so that’s not going to help with their longevity overall.)

[girlboypersonthingy]

hi!! i love ur writing sm :D

do u think u could do a pidge x reader where reader is english/history smart and pidge is math/science smart, so they became academic rivals (but they always secretly respected and even admired eachother), never saw eachother after pidge left for the garrison and THEN somehow find themselves together again on the castle ship. (maybe reader helped keith save shiro or sumthing like that?)

kinda a classic academic rivals to lovers thing

i daydream diff scenarios with her too often lol

sorry if i didn’t leave a lot of room for imagination :( but i’d love to see ur take on it if possible!!

THIS IS SO ADORABLE YOUVE GOT TO B KIDDIN ME RN 🥹💚💚💚 I love my little Pigeon girl, they are my fav Paladin by far. Also sorry, I bounce between she/her and they/them for Pidge. Idk it’s a habit…also LEE PLZ FORGIVE ME FOR TAKING NEARLY A YEAR TO GET TO THIS 🥹

Academic Rivals to Lovers w/ Pidge

So it all started when Pidge and you were both new to the garrison. You both kept hearing about this super smart person that was new to school and, in typically cocky fashion, you both assumed everyone was talking about you, as in yourself. But then…Lance started teasing Pidge about how there’s another new crazy intelligent kid and telling her she has competition now.

Immediately upon hearing this, Pidge takes it upon herself to figure out who you are, what your deal is and if she should consider you friend…or foe

The first time you two meet, it’s a bit awkward. It’s sort of like…both your friend groups helped yall finally meet and get to talking. They figured you guys could keep up with each other in convo, both being so smart and well spoken. As your friends all stood around, obviously clueless as to what yall were talking about, your friendly banter quickly escalated to you and Pidge very loudly debating which is more interesting and essential to the evolution of human life and knowledge, English and history OR math and science.

Pidge is probably now yelling something like “HOW ELSE IS HUMANITY GONNA EVOLVE?! SCIENCE AND MATH ARE ESSENTIAL FOR NEW DISCOVERIES AND FUTURE GROWTH AND FINDING OUT WHATS BEYOND EARTH AND-“

And you’re now trying to yell over her “YEAH OKAY OKAY AND HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF !!! HOW WILL HUMANITY EVOLVE UNLESS WE KNOW ABOUT ALL THE HISTORY OF HUMANS AND MISTAKES WEVE MADE AND-“

Everyone else around yall: 🤔😥🫠

From that point on, it became a competition, it was all about who could finish their test first, who could finish their book first, who got the higher grade on their essay or quiz.

Then, Pidge started trying to one up you by learning even more about YOUR fav subjects just to rub it in your face that she’s smarter and better than you in EVERYTHING AND EVERYWAY. (Not really, she’s actually just trying to impress you but also playfully tease you about it)

And guess what…you do the same. Y’all are basically like Keith and Lance with that love hate, frenemies type relationship.

And secretly…yall are pining so hard for each other, not so much annoyed at how smart the other is…but more infatuated with learning more about what the other is really into. You complimented each other well. You had a lot in common while also being total opposites in some aspects.

Pidge finds herself in bed at 2am one night with a book she saw you reading once. It looked fairly interesting and she wanted to see what the hype was about. As she read more and more, she began daydreaming about you as her eyes scanned over page after page, her mind focused solely on you as the words she read seemed blurry, not sticking in her brain…you were taking up too much space in there atm.

You found yourself trying to read about and learn how to code and work on tech. You found yourself totally lost and out of your element. It kinda made you smile…thinking about how she was already a science and tech wiz and now she was really getting into history and English thanks to you. Maybe…she was smarter and…maybe it’s all very important.

Before you could gather the nerve and swallow your pride and go apologize to her for treating her less than kind and being an annoying snob…

Shit hit the fan…

You helped Keith save Shiro, ended up in space in what felt like the blink of an eye and suddenly, you and pidge were attached at the hip.

It was like the severity of the situation and Pidge’s fierce determination completely erased your guys’ past together. Now, it was time to band together for the sake of everyone and everything. For the sake of her family.

You and Pidge began spending A TON of time together, often helping each other with tasks, codes, anything the others needed help with. Y’all were the puzzle solvers, the hackers, the ones Lance and Keith came to when they didn’t understand something, the cutie little nerd duo 🥹

With each time you two hung out, you found yourselves both relaxing more, joking and laughing more around each other, bonding more.

Pidge began coming to you all the time to show you new inventions or test out weird stuff on you. You were kinda flattered she always came to you first.

You began often running to Pidge after every book you’d read from the library in the castle. You’d be all excited about something new you just learned about Altean history, zooming through the halls with a huge smile as you look for your girl.

You bust into the room like “HEEYYYYY! OH MY GODDDD GUESS WHAT!!! Soooo, I just found out-“

Cue you rambling for at least 20 minutes while Pidge just smiles and nods along (occasionally she watches your lips move as you talk, only for a couple seconds before she looks back into your eyes)

As time went on, you found yourself becoming increasingly protective over Pidge, especially when out in battle. You…just like her and don’t wanna see your friend hurt or scared.

The first time she ever got hurt, or even got close to getting caught by the galra, she came back to the castle to see you waiting for them in the lion’s hangar, tears streaming down your face. You thought she would be in worse shape and even tho she looked perfectly fine, you were still distraught.

Y’all never really touched besides playful nudges and when you’d ruffle her messy hair but that day…yeah, you hugged her hard that day….

She was a little confused. No one else was this concerned for her so…why were you so freaked out? She was fine, actually more calm than you were atm.

You were so comforted and lowkey entranced by her soft embrace that you didn’t even notice Pidge was now on their knees, bringing you gently down into the same position, as you squeeze each other tighter down on the floor.

“Geez, (Y/N)…you alright?” she mumbles as she pulls back to look at you, worry present on her face.

“I’m sorry, I just…you’re like my best friend. I don’t know if I can do this without you. You…you need to be more careful!”

She was…frozen…watching your lip quiver.

You called her your best friend. The ‘best’ part really made her stomach drop. She was glad you two were closer now and not in a constant academic battle…and it’s not that she doesn’t consider you her best friend, she just…didn’t know you thought so highly of her.

Your friendship and relationship are a slow burn.

For months upon months, y’all just hang out, stay friends, bond over space tech and space history, occasionally cuddle, once in a while you’ll hold hands. Oh shoot, are yall falling asleep in the same bed? Whoa, wait…she’s started hugging you every single day. OMG SHES SO CLOSE TO YOUR FACE AS SHE LOOKS OVER INTO THE BOOK YOU’RE READING AND D A M N YOU REALLY WANNS KISS HER FRECKLED CHEEK RN, WOULD THAT BE WEIRD???

It’s a slow burn…until it isn’t anymore.

You’re the one to confess to her and Pidge is looking at you like 🫤 “oh uhm…I thought we…already kind of established that we…like each other more than friends…?”

You feel kind of dumb but excited nonetheless!!! SHE LIKES YOU BACK!!!!

The rest of the team is even like “Wait, yall hold hands and sleep in the same bed most nights. You’re not dating yet??? Hello?”

And from then on, you guys are absolutely love sick besties together. Not so much love sick in a physical touchy sense but just very emotionally supportive and kind and sweet to each other.

🥹🥹🥹

[magewritesstories]

[ ᴛᴏɢᴇ ɪɴᴜᴍᴀᴋɪ ] ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ ᴛʜᴀɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏᴠɪᴇꜱ

summary: 1 000 yellow daisies? Hah, Toge can do way better than that. Based on the s1 gilmore girls finale tw: none, literal fluff note: i wanted to write something for him too. might make this a series with diff. characters and different famous movie scenes. words: 1051 (yay 1k!) jujutsu kaisen masterlist

IT WASN'T EVEN CLOSE TO FALL YET AND YOU WERE ALREADY ON A GILMORE GIRLS KICK. You'd been rewatching the TV show along with some other iconic 00s movies and had almost reached the end of season one.

What brought on the sudden interest in the show, even though you usually saved it for your annual start-of-fall-ritual? You had no clue.

(Lies—it had been that one Jess Mariano edit on your fyp.)

Either way, it's not like it mattered, all that mattered was that you were happily bundled up in your little blanket burrito with popcorn and chocolate.

Just as you laughed at Lorelai annoying Michel, a small knock sounded from the door of your dorm.

"Come in!" You shouted, not bothering to get up. It would ruin the burrito form you'd turned yourself into.

"Kelp," Your boyfriend greets, walking over to you with a grin. You immediately open your arms for a hug, "Hey, how was the mission?"

The white-haired boy just sighed and shook his head. "Fish flakes," He replied, falling down on the couch next to you.

You two huddle together under the blanket as you weave your hands through his hair.

Toge sends a confused glance at the TV screen, "Mustard leaves?"

"Huh? Oh, that's the TV show I told you about," You reply, "You're actually perfectly on time for—dare I say—one of the most romantic scenes in cinema history."

Your boyfriend just gives you another confused glance before turning back to the TV. Your eyes are glued to the screen in anticipation.

"Oh, a little background—" A bit unable to contain your excitement you explain—"Basically, they're dating and she tells him that a real proposal should have 1,000 yellow daisies and a horse and yada yada."

You're practically sat at the edge of your seat as the look of realisation dawns on Lorelai's face, and Toge watches you with eyes filled with adoration. Wow, you're adorable.

You swoon as the camera pans around the brunette on screen, letting yourself fall into your boyfriend's arms with a giggle, "Isn't that so cute?"

"A little over the top but so cute." You look up at your boyfriend through your eyelashes and teasingly add, "Now that's how you say I love you."

It's an offhand comment, just meant to be a small joke but it sparks an idea in his head nonetheless. The gears in his brain shifting a mile a minute.

A way to say I love you, huh?

It takes almost two weeks for him to get everything in order.

Placing an order of a thousand flowers is apparently excessive and the maximum of the local flower shop was three hundred.

And getting you distracted long enough to not notice a giant shipment of your favourite flowers being shifted into your room was no easy feat.

Toge had to beg and bribe Maki to go shopping with you and Nobara for an entire day.

Yuji and Gojo, ever the movie lovers and romantics were all for the idea of recreating the scene and even helped fill your dorm room.

Panda tried helped too but eventually gave up when his claws cut through three flower stems.

Megumi just rolled his eyes and reminded his senior that you'd probably give him hell for letting Gojo in your dorm room. (Toge tried not to focus on that upcoming lecture too much.)

Eventually, after an entire day of work and a few cuts on his hands, your boyfriend has managed to ready your surprise and patiently waits for you at the entrance of Jujutsu Tech.

"Ah, I feel like my legs are going to fall off," You complain as the three of you walk up the steps to your school.

Maki nods in agreement, "Now I understand why you guys make Yuji carry all the bags."

Like the amazing boyfriend he is, Toge holds out his hands and offers to carry your bags. And any other day you'd have told him it was fine—but damn Nobara took the words 'shop 'til you drop' a little too seriously.

The white-haired boy holds your bags in one hand and uses the other to intertwine his fingers in yours, leading you away from the now complaining redhead, who's whining about also wanting a boyfriend.

His excitement (and nerves) catch up to him and Toge quickens his pace until he's practically dragging you to your dorm room.

"Toge, calm down, you're gonna burn a hole in the floor at this rate," You laugh, matching his pace.

Eventually, the two of you reach the entrance to your dorm room and Toge stops you from opening the door.

He drops the bags on the floor and makes you stand in front of the door as he stands behind you, placing one hand over your eyes and the other on the door knob.

"Ooh, a surprise for me?" You ask with a quiet giggle, closing your eyes intinctivly.

You let Toge lead you inside, it was only a few steps but you had a general idea of the inside of your dorm and knew that you were standing in the middle.

Your boyfriend removes his hand from your eyes, and they immediately go as wide as saucers.

The two of you were standing in the middle of your dorm room—except it didn't look like your dorm room at all.

The usually plain dorm was now decorated to the brim with your favourite flowers, from small vases on your desk to the garland draped over the headboard of your bed.

You stand completely awestruck at the sight, not moving an inch as you try to process everything around you.

Toge waves his hand in front of your face, snapping you out of your trance. "Salmon?"

"You—you did this?" You ask in disbelief, before nodding frevently and wrapping your arms around his neck, "I love it!"

You pull down the zipper of his hoodie and give him a long, loving kiss, "I love it, I love it, I love it!"

The two of you stare at each other with heart eyes.

"I love you," You finally add in a soft tone.

And he doesn't have to say it out loud. Because 296 flowers filling your rooms are relaying the message loud and clear.

Now that's how you say I love you.

[mortish-writes]

Hello! Hope you are having a beautiful day! Adding to the ever-growing pile of opinions: I, as a bi woman of pagan faith — which is partly a result of, ahem, my escape from being raised in a *zealous* (pun only semi-intended) strict religious family — strict to the point where a boy walking me home from school was grounds enough to call me a harlot and earn me corporal punishment, — am glad that I can say F you to the organised religion as the Heretic (she's my go-to route, though I certainly played both). So thank you for allowing people to have different roleplay experiences despite the lil' sun witch having a somewhat set personality. But, correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel like Zealot\Heretic are not exactly the epithets that pertain to the faith or sex vs feelings dichotomy (because I feel like it's just diff types of romance; if anything, during a sneak peak for latest Zealot night I got a feel that for her it's easier to open her heart than her body, while for Heretic the heart is the more guarded part, and that's why she's quicker to have sex. Tho they are not at the same plotpoint yet, so what do I know... ) like some people have pointed out? I played as a very Weaver-aligned Zealot, and it kind of surprised me that she was sort of quick to show the Weaver a lot of courtesy, so I got a feeling like she needs to have a guiding star of sort, see a straight path, and that's why she's a Zealot? Kind of like a shooting arrow, which is well and good if the trajectory is right, but if it isn't... While Heretic would rather question whether the star will lead her in a right direction and would rather follow her own curiosity off track even if it is to her detriment sometimes. Sorry, I got rambly lol Also, I've a question: I noticed in the credits that the graphics are made by Mr. Mortish. Does that mean that he drew the portraits, too? That's so cool and sweet that you have such a supportive husband ❤ + a lore questerino: Does magic-magic exist in the BoS world? Like, are there wizards and sorcerers around, or does magic go no further than some innate racial abilities + the favour\curses from the gods?

Thank you, that's so kind! To answer your Zealot question, I'll start by saying that broadly speaking, a lot of us who are raised in strict religious environments tend to seek that same structure even when we leave the faith. Without that structure, we often become self-destructive because we don't know how to operate without the boundaries imposed by our faith, even if they were too restrictive. I think the biggest difference between the Zealot and the Heretic is that the Zealot is comfortable latching onto and devoting herself to The Weaver rather than falling into a crisis of faith. She already concedes that the gods are real and here is a goddess who, while not the one she was raised to believe in, clearly has powers and a vested interest in her. She's at once more confident and self-assured than the Heretic, but also recognizes she doesn't understand how to operate in the world she's been thrust into and chooses to rely on a higher power to do so.

Each has a story line that will respect her choice, rather than trying to force her into a one-size-fits-all identity. I didn't set out to write a story that was so tied up in faith, sexuality, and coming of age, but I think that's just what happens when you get a cool idea for a hot vampire menage romance and then end up spending five years drafting it.

As for your final question, there is magic, but it almost always takes the form of racial abilities or favor from gods. We'll definitely be exploring that aspect of the lore once we start venturing out into different villages.

[affluent-havoc]

Naegami Fluff and/or Shenanigans 7

Even before Byakuya realizes his low-key crush, anytime Makoto calls him by his first name, he gets a weird feeling that he can't pinpoint. Not that he'd ever want to refer it as a crush cus "childish" and he's the Togami heir. Togami heir's can't have foolish crushes! Either way though, Byakuya wants to feel angry or annoyed about the feeling, and he does his best to appear that way outwardly. It's a tad bit off though. Like, his insults don't land like they used to. His glares don't have that punch to them. Like this. Byakuya be like this.

Another thing is that, subconsciously, both boys feel the same way. Like, yeah. They're interactions feel a bit different somehow. Neither of them know the EXACT thing they're feeling but it's there. The two do handle the unknown feeling differently though. Makoto's state is mostly confusion. Think 79% confusion, 21% embarrassment cus this is weird. He feels very weird about this. It's not like Makoto's oblivious with romance though. This feeling is just a bit new to him. Maybe, another factor in Makoto's confusion might also be him not having many crushes in general. Or, maybe this crush is so different that Makoto just doesn't know what to make of it. Not everyday you're into a heir and it isn't some fantasy. Like, he's right there! Byakuya's right there! And he's talking to him! Makoto! He is! And like, of course Makoto doesn't objectify Byakuya for being a wealthy heir. It's just well, when you think about it, this is a crazy situation to be in. Makoto already felt lost and out of place in Hopes Peak. Of course he's gonna feel out of his element figuring out he has a thing for BYAKUYA of all people. Also, for some side bit of Naegiri cus why not, Makoto feels the same way with his thing with Kyoko. Like, after he thinks about it a bit like, wowie. Kyoko likes him? Whaaaat?! How is he her type? He's just some guy. There's nothing special about him! And Makoto's just like:

Also, regarding Byakuya's side of this, he's lost. This is entirely foreign to him which again leads Byakuya just responded his go to way. Being incredibly pissy. As he continues to try and make failed attempts to push Makoto away, it works less and less. It also starts to startle him a bit. Like, he's NEVER had an interest in anyone like this before. Or in general since Byakuya just hates people. Yet, Makoto intrigues him though that also confuses him. Sure, Byakuya views everyone in Hopes Peak as a commoner despite them being Ultimates/Super High School Level talented people. Makoto is like THE commoner of commoners though. The basic of the basic. But, at the same time, Byakuya also doesn't wanna see Makoto as "just some guy" after a while. This then leads to Byakuya's SECOND go to strategy. Treat this like some elaborate game, experiment or hypothesis he's trying to solve. This also bleeds into his go to strat numbero tres! That's right! He just starts stringing Makoto along, pretending he's trying to educate him or something when, in reality, he's basically just taking Makoto to a nice restaurant and going on a date with him. Byakuya probably doesn't immediately realize that this is basically what he's doing though. He is massively trying to cope his way outta the realization that he's been taking Makoto along to concert halls and museums, not for some science-y goal but because he just likes being around Makoto. Like, Byakuya didn't HAVE to offer Makoto a job in which Makoto legit just sits there and does nothing besides being cute. Like, he legit did this! And then was like "'Twas just a test" as a shitty cover. Like, you don't just offer that to ANYONE Byakuya and you know that!

This is just my Naegami brain being a Naegami brain though. Which is cool and all since like, diff interpretations cool. Cool beans Also, regardless on how both of them respond though, the two are both utter goobs. Utter fools. And, Makoto. I feel ya for regretting turning down that offer. Makoto would be so good at sitting, doing nothing, while looking cute.

[tom-is-online]

firstly hi, im the toya side story person. i do hate the fact that akito punched toya. i dont think anything really justifies violence. but enas is implied to be much more frequent! And sibling fights are whatever.

but u cant ignore the fact that some people may just not like ena because of this repeated pattern. i understand that the person in the tags was trying to explain enas behavior, not justify it. but unless its been retconned in a way i forgot, pale color says shinei only really started telling ena that she couldnt be an artist w/o talent when ena was looking at highschools, so its not like ena was fresh into middle school when her father rejected her dreams. akito when faced with insecurity didnt physically lash out at ena as far as im aware of. saying that she lashed out at him just bc he was nearby and improving in his own field doesnt really change a lot imo. just because siblings use each other as an outlet for stress doesnt mean everyone has to be comfy with it. plus, when akito describes the scratching, he mentions dodging the thrown objects and the scratches being hard to avoid if shes near, which leads me to believe that akito was trying to avoid a fight instead of a sibling brawl

im not calling this abuse, by any means, nor am i suggesting that ena shld have magically spawned healthy coping mechanisms. Im just trying to suggest a possibility that ena scratching akito may not have made her likable with some people, given the repetition and akitos lack of involvement in enas insecurity. everyone has different boundaries on what they think is okay. anyways i am happy to continue discussing this tho, i really liked hearing a diff perspective :) and if i missed anything from the stories, i really am sorry

original post

I understand what you're getting at, but I wanna just clear up some stuff with it

Akito and Toya became friends about two years before the main story (both 14), which means Ena was in the last year of Middle School when they met. Ena would have been looking at High Schools at the time, so the timelines with that add up with her emotional state due to her father. And since then, Ena has clearly stopped doing this to Akito

I understand the "it was a repetitive occurrence" argument but she was clearly not in the right headspace to be rational and considerate whilst having breakdowns, she was 15 and mentally unwell, and she's not gonna act in a rational way

Even if it was hypothetically before her last year of middle school.

SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN NO OLDER THAN 15 have you met a pair of siblings 14 and younger? esp with personalities like the Shinonomes

Akito likely wouldn't have fought back against Ena in the same way because he's clearly always been very athletic meaning to me if he tried to fight her back. He would probably just win and he doesn't want to just kick her when she's already down.

Anon (and other people who make this argument) I am just so curious if you're an only child and if not what your siblings are like. I don't have a sister but I have a brother one year younger than me and we fought all of the time until we were like 15-16, me and my brother are both very hot-headed people esp at that age. Siblings just do that, so being so uncomfortable with the concept of siblings fighting that you hate Ena just feels so much like you don't understand typical sibling behaviour

If you're uncomfortable with the fact a 15-year-old had fights with her brother whilst she was likely mentally unwell or below the age of 15 and continue to hold this to them until they are 17-18 when they no longer do this

whilst also excusing Akito for what he did in the main story because it was a "one-off"

idk, man.

the argument is about liking Akito and not Ena. If you can hate Ena for being ~15 and mentally unwell whilst scratching Akito but not hate Akito for punching Toya at 16 and that being a MAJOR PLOT POINT whilst Ena's isn't.

it just feels like you can't understand the nuance behind someone doing something negative when they have bad mental health or you don't have siblings and don't understand how siblings like the Shinonomes would act in a situation such as theirs.

Or someone just gives the male characters way more leniency than the female characters

anyway. i do understand people have diff boundaries. but giving Akito leniency on violent behaviour and not ena for actions she did years ago. you can understand how this is a red flag

idk if i have anything else to say about the matter without going in circles

anyway. theyre great i love them

[mattielavender]

HAI mattie do you have any gl recommendations (sfw) i am wanting to read more ^_^

sure!!! tbh I havent read many myself, i have a never ending to-read list that i never seem to make progress in, but i can list a few that i liked and/or feel confident recommending!!

- bloom into you. its a classic and like the most popular yuri out there, but even if theres a slight chance u havent read it yet, PLEASE DOOOOO ITS MY FAVOURITE YURI EVER ITS SO SO SO SO GOOD!!!!!! its a manga w an anime adaptation, the anime adaptation is pretty straightforward and good but unfortunately cuts the story off right at the middle, right before finishing off a very important arc, all the while the manga's finished, so i recommend reading the manga first and then watching the anime if ur interested. it also has a spin-off light novel series by a diff author, and i recommend it a lotlot it gives a lot of valuable insight ab sayaka. oh and if you already have read it/when you read it please let me know god I love talking about this series so much i am ill about it I read it whole at least 3 times and that doesnt account for me rereading fragments and watching the anime too

- LOVE BULLET!!!!! i feel like you in particular would like it a lot, based on my sixth yuri sense. its a yuri action series about a world where the people who die without ever having fallen in love get a second chance and get reborn as cupids. its so so so so good

- whisper me a love song!! its a slice of life drama about girl bands. lots of yuri rivalry and doomed childhood friends and stuff. super fun to read!!

- crescent moon and donuts!! its a sweet, short, slow-paced love story between two office workers, flawed and lonely in one way or the other. its very tender and cute. also!!!! ace representation!!!! who cheered!!!!!!

- goodbye, my rose garden - this ones set in victorian(?) england and is a romance between a japanese maid and an english noblewoman. beautiful art, good and at times tragic story, i really recommend

- she loves to cook, she loves to eat - this ones still a read in progress for me but its a really sweet story of an office lady whose hobby is cooking connecting wirh her female neighbor who is a lover of food. it also acknowledges patriarchy and stuff like that more than other yuris tend to, its body positive too, its pretty grounded in reality while still being chill and wholesome. i rlly like it

- this monster wants to eat me - if you want something darker and more fantasy. i admit i havent read many non-slice of life or realistic drama yuri but theres so so many out there, i recommend looming for them if ur interested. but anyways. this ones ab a suicidal girl eho encounters a monster girl who declares she wants to eat her eventually, shenanigans ensue. it has really pretty art and an engaging story its so good

- my girlfriend is devilishly sweet - this one is about a pastry chef girl who encounters a succubus girl and they start dating. i havent caught up on it (i need to) but so far its really cute and has a GORGEOUS artstyle.

- i love amy - this ones a manhwa. also, its set in the usa, which i rarely see from eastern comics, which is so interesting. its a high school drama with a yandere character, but what i like about it is that the yandere is written thru a very empathetic lens. also I like the characters a lot, both main and side, and their dynamics. and oh the artstyle's so unique and gorgeous

- yuri is my job is a bit of a hesitant recommendation cause i know its not for everyone. but also I binged it in one sitting even tho it has like 13 volumes for now. only read it if ur not afraid of a shit ton of miscommunication and of all the characters having sth annoying about them, one in particular being irreformable and stubborn as fuck but what saved her for me and made me excuse her every action was the fact that she lowkey reminded me of kohane. its really fun to read, a dumpster fire at times, which i defo didnt expect from it upon starting to read it haha.

oh also letting u know that what made me start it in the first place was oomf saying that it has aromantic allosexual lesbian rep. and judging from the state that the story is in rn (its on hiatus), i agree w oomf i can see it even tho im almost sure its not intentional on the authors part.

can u tell i have many opinions on this one hahaha

anyways let me know if u decide to read it cause ive been icking and dying to talk ab it w someone but, contrary to bloom into you, people either just dont read it or dont have many thoughts on it NSNSNSN

(oh also ik it breaks the sfw rule but please read how do you relationship after u turn 18. preferably after u start college cause it pertains heavily to the troubles of young adulthood and college life. its such a good fucking manga my second favourite after bloom into you defo. its so fucking GOOD)

[wawamouse]

Oh! Thing I forgot to mention despite breaking the ao3 comment limit with my yipyap! Regarding how I mentioned the Carmy interlude being a nice, lighter break to breathe in: it still also has the effect of making the angst surrounding it and in the fic overall hit so much harder.

Seeing alt!Miguel's life, how much brighter and not beaten down he is, his hopes and future possibilities, makes it even more painful to see Oz Miguel. The exploration of the life Miguel could have had, in contrast to his reality in Oz, is a real knife in the gut. (I mean it as a compliment!)

!! 🤩 More interlude thoughts! After your comments were already so great to wake up to!

Alt!Miguel's life definitely much brighter, but yeaaah, Oz!Miguel is also one of the most miserable versions of him I've written, yeah.

(My Miguel misery ranking:

So You Say You Want A Deathbed Scene

Maybe Now He'll Leave You Alone

In the Course of Destiny

For Nothing Nothing Tender About It

Riptide 🤔 or Life Gets Tedious Enough/Holding Up the Sky ch.1

...Unless I've completely forgotten a different fic that actually deserves 5th LOL... )

Having finished writing the chapter, as tough as it was, I definitely still want to dip more into some of the unexplored areas, so maybe this isn't the last we see of alt!Miguel! Like you mentioned in your comments (and again, thank you ;u; So sweet), Carmy and alt!Miguel ended up building their own thing. That was definitely my goal, too, to make sure Carmy had chemistry with alt!Miguel himself, and not have him just copy/paste feelings from Oz!Miguel, although that may have been his starting point. Also, you're totally spot on about alt!Miguel having broader horizons and a more open mind due to attending school (art school in particular 👀💅🏼) (yeah ok design is usually in advertising school I think but same diff... He takes a lot of art electives probably). He's quite well-adjusted, thank you very much! Actually, even more well-adjusted than Carmy 😂 ...who yeah, like everyone else in that verse, avoided the ultimate Oz sentence, but in a way, only barely. Carmy isn't looking for a leader, but if he was, I wanted to make Miguel someone he'd have no problem following.

There was initially a little bit of angst planned—as you know, I actually lopped off a fair bit of extra plot for the interlude. I also ended up tweaking the trajectory of things when I actually wrote it, so in terms of that potential sequel oneshot, I'll also have to change some plot if I write it according to the original plan. Mostly, I'd be removing some angst lol (yay!).

[citrusbuds]

lem, i needa hear all about your sipersona.

give me all the details, i am sat at the table waiting to hear everything!!

oh dear anon put a bib on i am about to SERVE UP!!!!

ok but fr i have sooo much info about my sipersona idk where to start...

i guess fun clem facts first? hit all the spiderman notes. Clem's defining thing as a spiderman is his ocean-beach theme. bro yearns for the sea (me too and i can walk to it) this all would start in id say... senior year highschool? so they'd all be 17 going 18, before college.

Moving to NY he becomes close friends with his science teacher Dr. Robert Octavius (more on him later) Clem is very smart, thats why he got picked as an exchange student, but he's very shy. while Peter more of a dorky loner who takes photos, Clem tries his best to not talk to people (which is very difficult when Gwen Stacy befriends him and drags him everywhere)

tbh i might change his spider bite origin to maybe an after school meeting with Dr. Robert in a lab. Showcasing some projects his team is working on, including some spider related research. maybe on the web production, an insect focused research to strengthen our modern day materials BUT IM GETTING NERDY ahem

i thought itd be fun to have his spider bite also affect his physical body, mainly his hair going white. like... all of it. he was already bleaching it beforehand so it wasnt the biggest deal, he just has to dye it blond instead. He also has his eyesight improved, but he chooses to keep wearing glasses to "not be suspicious" or smtn

weird note, but clem would produce his own web. it freaks him out and shuts himself in his room for a good few days trying to understand it. fun stuff

becoming spiderman, he starts doing all the masked vigilante stuff out of

Clem becomes very close to Dr. Robert and his wife, almost becoming like.... their son (???) yk middle aged married couple w no kids are VERY fond of smart and charming teenagers. He gets invited to dinners, science conventions, all the stuff.

a big thing with spiderman, especially since the spiderverse films, is the concept of the "canon event". specific points in a spiderperson's life that are inevitable. a person close to them dying and learning a valuable life lesson, the chief of police sacrificing himself, etc etc.

that being said!!!! what is clem's canon event? weeeellllll i really wanna make tide weaver's whole story into a comic, maybe start with small comics first. but cause its fun i'll tell it here.

Dr. Robert, as well as his wife, Dr. Olivia gets invited to a big science exhibition. many great minds hoping and working hard to make the world's future a better place, even OSCORP's founder is there (wow!) and with this invite, they were given the chance to invite 1 person. so of course, who are else are they gonna give it to if not Clem!!

the evening of the event rolls around and is on his way. he tends to take an hour or 2 at night to sweep through the city, see if theres any crime and all that. but he couldn't be bothered that night. even when he saw some shady people, even when he could sense something wrong nearby, even when police cars whizz past him to chase some escaping vehicle, he couldn't be late, Dr. Robert was waiting outside the building for him!

i didn't think itd make sense for clem's first canon event to be unlce ben. he wasn't his uncle, he was peter's. didn't wanna kill peter either or their entire relationship wouldve ended right there. so i decided who else fits the role than his very own teacher!!! yk the guy that treated him as a son in such a new environment.

this'd be the part of the comic where the first villain is introduced. so of course i picked doc ock cause i love doc ock and especially doc ock WOMAN amazing revolutionary 10/10 she'll mourn her dead husband so much.

will probably make another post all about the other characters (aunt may, uncle ben, peter's relationship w clem, peter's relationship with tide weaver which are 2 very diff things, gwen and MJ and harry) yell at me in my inbox anytime <3

[xxxg0ryygurlll13xxx]

i really don’t feel like a teenager ever

like i feel more like a 50 year old woman than a 16 year old girl. i don’t really talk w my friends abt anything but schoolwork mostly cause that’s the only thing my one school friend talks abt besides her bf and one hobby. i don’t talk abt current shows i gossip some but i find myself not really talking to ppl at all, i don’t go to the movies, i usually only go to the mall alone, when i go over to my bfs house sure we do teen stuff like kiss and cuddle but we don’t talk much mostly just touch, idk i just feel like i wasted all my youth and i feel like an old woman now like my life has been so much longer than it has been. i worry abt all kinds of adult things and i’ve never even really felt like a kid when i was a kid. idk i just see ppl my age having so much fun w their friends and such going places doing things and i just do most things by myself and my life mostly revolves around school rather than the few friends i have. i just feel kinda lonely but not really in a way that more friends would fix it i don’t want a huge friend group. what i miss was the feeling of friendship i had w my middle/elementary school friends it was mostly just the 4 of us and i’ve never had a connection like that since it’s just got me feeling weird abt myself. idk idek if this makes any sense to y’all. i made this acc and started blogging in it the summer before high school cause i felt lonely i lost 3 of my bestest friends and didn’t know what to do and here i am feeling such a similar way and i have been for awhile idk i feeel like isolating myself but i still crave that feeling of not being lonely. idk i’m hoping i can find that in college but i fear i’ll be too old to do all the fun high school things. everyone’s always busy and no one really texts or calls me anymore just my bf and we mostly text and then i ask if he can call. i just feel a bit casted to the side in ppls lives. y’all are really my new best friends cause i just tell y’all everything since i have no one else to tell no one else cares to know. i used to be so happy and idk what happened. i feel like i’m too young to be this sad and depressed these r supposed to be the best years of my life but i’m just angry sad and depressed 90% of the time. snapping at ppl and wanting to run away and go missing or smthn. just to see who comes out of the woodwork (if anyone) to help. i don’t feel like myself anymore i can’t even draw well anymore. like someone took my brain out and replaced it w a diff one. a worse one. i miss that excitement i had the fun other ppl seem to have all the time going out on weekends, going to games w friends, hanging out gossiping and chatting reading magazines. i feel stuck in this limbo of angst and sadness. there must be something wrong w me (more than there already is). i know i had to grow up fast cause of my parents who cause they were always working and my ma in chronic pain couldn’t take care of the house so i’d always spend all of my time cleaning and doing their work for them. i went away for 2 days once when i was like 10 and i came home and rhe house looked like a tornado went thru a frat house. i walking the door there were pizza boxes on the table cans a bottles on the floor garbage everywhere. idk i just feel like i’m too young to already be so tired w life.