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#a few of my friends found out id never read it
oifaaa · 11 months
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how i differentiate bot and follower is "do they have a human lady in a bikini? if yes then its a bot" lol thats the only bots i get recently lol
have a lovely rest of the day/week! :D
I dont think that's gonna work for my bots friend considering this is what my followers list currently looks like
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loutrem · 1 year
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#its dumb of me but a few days ago i went with his deadname on google to see if i could see more stuff about his dead#since his friends who were alqo supposed to be my friends did a 'ceremony' together without telling me#even tho i rly wanted to go to be able to grief and to cry it out properly#so since i havent been able to grieve well i did that. search for his deadname. i just wanted to know#and i found out that a page for him was made on the tdor website. there were a ton of details on what was happening#before and after his death#many things i didnt know about. because i was a shit friend and never kept contact. and also because he was secretivz#i feel awful since then. who was i to him. why couldnt i help him. why am i even sorry for myself. he was the one suffering#i keep crying and i cant sleep at night without reading comics until i feel too tired to open my eyes#because otherwise im thinking too much about him. its just too awful. too unjust#i have. weird cravings for alcohol. ive never even drinked much before. im scared of starting to get addicted#but sometimes i wanna get somethibg anything and just drink until i pass out since people say its good to forget#i wish he were still alive. i wish i could hug him and help him. i wish id visited him in the hospital after his 1st mental breakdown#he had sent me a text to tell me he was there but i had work and i was tired and honestly too lazy to go. and now i regret it so bad#its all so unfair. death is so unfair. grief is so unfair. i was afraid i had no heart before because people who died around me didnt#phase me much. i didnt cry. but now that ive experienced the deaths of 2 actually very close people counting one i couldnt grieve forproper#i just wish i had no emotions. that i wouldnt cry when i think of them. but especially him.#and i cant stop thinking about how awful ill be when my parents die. ill be a wreck.#im just crying in my bed and its 4am. everythibg sucks. im so sorry to everyone whos ever met me. im awful#negative /#death m /#suicide m /
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arieslost · 2 months
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sky full of stars | ln4
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summary: dj!lando always plays your song when you’re at the club.
word count: 3,615
warnings: drinking
masterlist — join my tag list here!
© arieslost 2024. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.
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2021
You did not want to be in this club. You would need another pair of hands and feet to count off all the places you’d rather be, the very first one being asleep in your bed.
But here you were, not only in the club, but within a throng of people at varying levels of fucked up, jumping around and dancing to the song pounding through the speakers. Your comforts were twofold: the first was knowing that you could handle the two shots in your system, and the second was that your best friend was the designated driver tonight, so there was no way in hell she was going to leave without you.
Frankly, you’d been ready to leave an hour ago. In fact, you’d started saying the words, “I want to go home” when you caught a glimpse of the DJ in charge of tonight’s music. Granted, it was hard to really look at him considering the fact that the lights were low and you were on the other end of the club, but you’d seen just enough to know that he was attractive and any thought of leaving had gone right out the window. Not to mention the fact that he hadn’t said anything when he started his set, so you didn’t even know what his voice sounded like.
You needed a closer look.
So here you were, surprisingly enjoying yourself on the dance floor while you tried to check him out without being overly conspicuous. You were only able to make out a head of curly hair and the large hand that lifted a shot glass to his lips when your phone started ringing, the buzz in your pocket the only indication thanks to the blaring music. You squinted at the screen, thinking it might be your friend trying to find you, but the caller ID read “Potential Spam,” so your phone went right back into your pocket. You were on a mission.
When you looked up, you made direct eye contact with the man of the hour– the DJ you found nothing short of infatuating. You were rather close to his setup, maybe ten people away, but you could feel his gaze on you as he picked up a microphone.
“This next song is dedicated to the gorgeous woman I’m looking at right now,” he announced to the whole room, sending a wink in your direction before getting to work on fading the current song into the new one– “A Sky Full of Stars” by Coldplay.
You felt goosebumps rising on your arms as the first few notes filled the room, suddenly glad that you were here and not at home, asleep. The lights moved in tandem to the beat of the song, and you finally got a proper look at his face. It’s then that you knew you were screwed, because if he wasn’t the most attractive man you’d ever seen in your life, you’d be lying.
You barely had any time to pull yourself together before he was motioning for one of his friends to take over for him and stepping down from the booth into the crowd, making a beeline right for where you stood in the middle of it all.
“You’re awfully bold,” you said when he was close enough to hear you, a bit taken aback by how quickly he’d closed the distance between the two of you. “What makes you think I like this song?”
He didn’t answer at first, instead choosing to slowly run his hand down your arm until his fingers tangled with yours. “You have goosebumps, and I’d be shocked if you didn’t like it. When I played it last time, you came up to me and tried to take the mic so you could sing it to everyone.”
That’s another reason why you never made a habit out of going to the club. Somehow, it always got to the point where you lost your mind a little bit and somehow managed to find new ways to make an idiot out of yourself. But tonight was different– you were managing your alcohol intake, and the hot DJ was calling you out on something you’d been too drunk to remember the next morning.
Your friends hadn’t though; in fact, they’d been gracious enough to provide video proof of them dragging you away from the DJ booth. You’d never felt such shame as you did watching that back.
“Don’t be embarrassed,” he said, his free hand tilting your chin up so he could look right at you as he spoke. “It’s how I noticed you in the first place. I haven’t been able to take my eyes off of you since.”
At least one good thing came out of my foolishness, you thought to yourself as he took your other hand and put both of your arms around his neck. It made sense, anyway– you definitely would’ve remembered seeing him before had you been sober.
“I’m not a very good dancer,” you warned him as he began to sway to the music, taking you along with him as his hands went down to your hips.
“Neither am I,” he confided, lips close to your ear.
The chorus began, the song’s beat drop making the lights change from red to blue, and you decided that you would let this happen, even if it turned into another embarrassing memory. At least you would remember this time, and you’d never forget swaying back and forth with the handsome DJ as the rest of the crowd danced around you both.
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2022
You were in the club again, and you couldn’t imagine being anywhere else. Spending so much time with your favorite DJ, Lando Norris, will do that to you. After that first dance, he bought you a couple drinks and didn’t go back to the DJ booth for the rest of the night due to you dragging him right back out into the crowd and dancing with him until your feet hurt too much to stand. Eventually, your best friend had found you and told you it was time to go, and in your tipsy state you’d kept your arms firmly around Lando, said something about “holding him hostage,” and vehemently refused to go anywhere. It wasn’t until he gave you his number that you allowed your best friend to take you home.
He texted you right away when he woke up that morning, and the day after the two of you went on your first date. He surprised you by taking you to a rather high-end restaurant; you’d pegged him for a more low-key guy when it came to dates, despite the fact that he’d dedicated a song to you in front of a club full of people, and you were proved correct when you were on the phone with him later that night.
“I don’t even like going out that much,” he confessed, rubbing a hand over his tired eyes. “I just thought you deserved something special for a first date so I didn’t look like a loser.”
“You could have just told me that,” you giggled. “The dress code for our next date can be sweats.”
You still remembered the way his eyes lit up when you said “our next date.” That next date, a movie marathon at your apartment, had turned into countless dates, and you never went back to that restaurant.
Now, you were in the club where the two of you first met to celebrate your one year anniversary. Lando was wearing a white button up, and had just unbuttoned the top two buttons to reveal more of his tan skin and the gold chain around his neck. You’d given him a look, and he’d complained that “it’s just so hot in here,” but the both of you knew he was just doing it to rile you up.
It was working.
Your hands gravitated to the newly exposed skin, palms running up along his shoulders and fingers dipping beneath his collar to gently scratch at his back. You could spend all night running your hands over his skin, and he’d be happy to let you do it. He leaned closer to you, nearly stepping on your toes as his arms looped around your waist.
“You really weren’t lying last year when you said you were a bad dancer.” You laughed at the affronted look on his face.
“I think I’ve gotten better, thank you very much.” He said, and promptly stepped directly on your foot. “Shit, baby, I’m sorry!”
You only laughed harder, pulling him into a kiss. You could feel the vibrations of his own laughter against your lips.
“Wait right here,” he instructed, breaking the kiss. “I’ve got something for you.”
He kissed your cheek and disappeared into the crowd.
The song playing began fading out, which caught your attention because it was in the middle of the chorus. You didn’t need Lando’s DJ knowledge to know that it was a strange decision to fade a song out long before it was over.
“Attention, everyone. We had a special request tonight from a familiar face,” the DJ announced before passing the microphone to none other than your boyfriend.
“This next song goes out to my beautiful girlfriend,” Lando said, pointing directly at you and causing your face to get hot when half the room looked in the direction of his finger. “Happy one year, baby. I love you.”
Your jaw dropped as the familiar opening notes of “A Sky Full of Stars” started playing. Not just because of the song, but because of those three special words. I love you. You’d only said it to each other a handful of times, and Lando had just said it to you in front of hundreds of people.
You met him in the middle of the floor, too impatient to wait until he got back to you.
“I love you, I love you so much!” You yelled over the music, kissing him again.
“One year is just the beginning, yeah?” He asked, and you nodded enthusiastically, cheeks hurting from smiling so wide.
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2023
You were wrapped up in Lando’s arms as you stood before his setup. In the past year, he had been promoted to be the main talent for the club and had three sets every weekend. He had insisted that the only gift he wanted from you for your two year anniversary was that you help him DJ his next set, and you’d obviously agreed. You got him a necklace anyway, but kept your promise so long as he promised to help you gain at least some skills beforehand so the audience wouldn’t kick you out for being shit. After a week or so, you felt confident enough with the buffer of the knowledge you’d picked up over the past two years to be where you were now– fading one song into another almost seamlessly.
Lando would take his hands off of you for only seconds at a time to adjust something here or there and make the music flow as smoothly as possible. Otherwise, he was all over you for the whole club to see, and you were kind of obsessed with it. He was hardly paying attention to anything else; only moving on autopilot to fiddle with the knobs or whatever it was he was doing to make you look like an adequate DJ.
“Did I do okay?” You asked towards the end of the set, looking over your shoulder at your boyfriend who hadn’t stopped smiling at you since you left the apartment and arrived at the club early to set up.
“Are you kidding? I think I might be out of a job after tonight,” he said, threading his fingers into your hair to pull you into a long kiss. “At least I would be, if I didn’t have this party trick under my sleeve.”
Slightly dazed from the passion of his kiss, you let him lean around you and queue up a song that wasn’t originally in the mix for that evening’s set.
At this point, you should have expected it, and maybe you did a little bit, but that didn’t stop the tears from pricking your eyes and the goosebumps rising on your arms when “A Sky Full of Stars” began, sending the crowd into a chorus of cheers.
“It works every time,” he said cheekily, reaching up to wipe away the tears that had escaped.
“You are unbelievable.” It was meant to be said in jest, but you were just so filled with love and adoration for him that it sounded like a compliment.
“Dance to our song with me,” he said, spinning you and tugging you forward so you bumped right into his chest.
“Here?” You looked behind you, at the set up, at the hundreds of people, and he took your chin in his hand and turned your face back to him.
“Here. Now. I want them all to see how much I love you.” He said it so sweetly that, in that moment, you were willing to give him just about whatever he wanted.
He started singing the song to you, “‘Cause in a sky, ‘cause in a sky full of stars, I think I saw you,” and it felt like you were the only two people in the room when the beat dropped and you kissed him with everything you had, letting him sway you back and forth and spin you around one too many times just to see his smile and hear his giddy laugh.
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2024
You’re surprised when Lando tells you that he’s made different plans for your three year anniversary. The club has become a second home of some sorts; you’re there more often than not to watch his sets, and you’ve always gone there for your anniversaries. Not just the years, but the six month, year and a half, and two and a half year anniversaries as well. Thus, the sudden deviation from tradition raises a few alarm bells in your head. If anything, you’d expect a change for your four years next year since 4 is your boyfriend’s lucky number.
You don’t have time to dwell on it that much. You have to be out the door in ten minutes, and you still have to finish applying your lipstick, not to mention strap yourself into the sparkling silver heels Lando had gotten you for Christmas.
“Almost ready, baby?” He asks, peeking into the bathroom and watching as you add one last swipe of lipstick.
“Yup! Just need my—” you’re cut off when he holds up the heels. “—shoes. Thanks, Lan.”
“Here, sit. I’ll put them on for you.” He gestures to the edge of the tub.
You take him up on his offer happily, and your heart jumps up into your throat when he stares right into your eyes and slowly gets down on one knee before you.
You’d overheard him talking about possibly proposing to you with your parents over the holiday break, and you hadn’t been stealthy about it at all, so he knows that you heard. Since then, he’s made a game out of getting on one knee in front of you every now and then. He already did it once this morning when he woke you up only to tell you that he made you breakfast. You know he’s joking, but now that you’re celebrating a significant milestone in your relationship you can’t help but have a slight inkling that his joking around is less of a joke and more of a hint.
So when he holds your gaze long enough to make you start thinking that it might actually happen before going about putting your shoes on, you’re not at all fazed and ruffle his hair.
“Hey! Easy, I spent a lot of time making my hair look good for you.” He yelps, jumping up to look in the mirror and patting it down meticulously.
“I like it when it’s messy,” you reply, giving him a look that you know drives him crazy.
“You can’t say that and look at me that way when we’re trying to leave the house, babe.” He whines.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You make sure the straps on your heels are tight enough before you stand up, pleased that your retaliation to his down-on-one-knee joke worked better than you thought it would. “Come on, I don’t want to be late!”
He wastes no time in getting his payback for your antics when you arrive at the restaurant he took you to for your very first date. He opens the car door for you, and takes your hand to help you step out. The moment you’re on the sidewalk and the door is closed behind you, he gets down on one knee again, making a point to look at you the entire time. Your heart jumps again. Certainly he wouldn’t do it on the sidewalk? Or maybe he would, to add to the element of surprise?
He doesn’t. He simply ties his shoelace, the picture of innocence all the while.
“Shall we?” He says as he straightens up, offering his arm with a smile.
You retain your own picture of innocence, wrapping your hand around his bicep. “We shall.”
Seeing that he had booked the private dining room has more alarm bells going off in your head, not to mention the fact that you thought you’d never see the inside of this restaurant again. Regardless, you were actually kind of happy to be somewhere quieter to celebrate your anniversary, as much as you’ve fallen in love with being at the club.
Lando clears his throat loudly towards the end of your meal as the waiter pours two glasses of champagne. “Three years,” he begins, sounding somewhat awestruck.
You nod in agreement. “Three years. Sick of me yet?”
“I don’t think that’s possible.” He passes you a glass, and you clink them together before you each take a sip. “Actually, I’d really love to just spend my entire life with you.”
Now he’s not even trying to hide it, so you laugh a little bit. “That’s sweet, Lan.”
“I’m serious,” he pouts, and you try to contain yourself, painting a serious expression on your face and nodding as you press your lips together. “Fine, I admit it. I went a little too far with the joke.”
“Which time? Are we talking about just today or the past few weeks?” You ask pointedly, taking another sip of your champagne.
“Okay, a lot too far.” He huffs, getting out of his chair and pushing it in before walking to your side of the table. “I want to make up for it right now though, if that’s alright with you.”
“Oh my God. You’re actually serious?” You ask, feeling your insides beginning to shake a little with giddiness as he gets down on one knee before you for the fourth time today.
“I have never been more serious about anything in my life.” He reaches into his suit jacket and pulls out a small box.
It looks a bit different than ring boxes normally look, and the moment he opens it you understand why. The notes of “A Sky Full of Stars” emit from within the box where the ring sits, the dazzling diamond sparkling when it catches the light.
“Fuck’s sake, Lando, I wouldn’t have spent so much time on my makeup if I knew you were gonna do this,” you sniffle, putting a hand over your mouth.
“I’ll keep it short because I don’t want to cry too much and ruin it,” he promises, taking your free hand in his own, the other holding the box out to you. “I’ve never been happier to be borderline assaulted by a drunk girl in the middle of a set, because if that never happened I don’t know if we would’ve met.”
You start laughing hysterically, tears most definitely ruining your makeup, and he laughs through his own tears.
“I just love you so much, every little thing about you. It would take me eternity to tell you how much I love you, and that wouldn’t even be enough time with you. So, that’s why I want to ask you to be with me beyond eternity and do me the honor of being my wife.” He says your name like he’s saying it for the first time, taking his time to savor the way it rolls off his tongue. “Will you marry me?”
“Yes,” you nod. “Yes, yes, yes.”
Hand shaking, he slips the ring onto your finger. The moment it’s in place, he puts his other knee down and pulls you into the tightest hug as the song continues playing from the box.
“I love you,” you whisper in his ear, feeling his shoulders shake slightly as he cries. “But did you have to give me a heart attack so many times today?”
He laughs, pulling away and grabbing a napkin to gently wipe your eyes. “Four’s my lucky number, I had to do it three other times today to make sure I got it right.”
The song comes to an end, and you pick up the box, observing the intricate design and the engraving on the outside– You get lighter the more it gets dark. I’m going to give you my heart. Forever.
“You know this has to be the song we dance to for the first time as Mr. and Mrs. Norris, right?” You say to him, leaning in and kissing the tears off of his cheeks.
“Way ahead of you, baby. I already started making our playlist; it’s the first song on there.”
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note: the fact that i’m posting this after lando confirmed he “retired” from dj-ing… call this my long-winded eulogy. special thanks to coldplay for making a song that inspired a whole story!
requests are OPEN, and my inbox is always open for comments, criticism, and conversation! feel free to pop in!
reblogs are always appreciated <33
beautiful dividers by @/saradika !
tags (i’m sorry if i couldn’t tag you!): @venusacrossthestars @67-angelofthelordme-67 @emails-i-can-send @nelly187 @cixrosie @fangirl-dot-com @sainzluvrr @imheretoread @mellowarcadefun @yourbane @monsieurbacteria6 @thef1diary @clara760-blog @baby-moxley @positiveaspirations @xfuckoffx @hannahbrown2002 @cataalinababeyy @inejghafawifesblog @formulasportworld @meandjoemama @maddie-bell @mrsmaybank13 @hadids-world @havaneselover08 @aacherrylips @itsmoonia @universallyhoundbonkfestival @rery30 @paigeworlds @wassgood @itscrzy @ctrlyomomma @inlovewithdeadboys @multifandomfan1 @bwormie @megsmclaren @barackostea @enchantemirrorball @tiredallthetimex @cosmoscoffeee @mlilyb16 @ophcelia @idktbhhsworld @l-inas @kath8278 @formulaangel55 @y-nusername @sla123455ffh @dinodumbass @diaa-20 @alexmarie29 @lisoba13 @ftdtlovecore @clowngirlsstuff @jurelij @romanxffs @sadisticfries @loyalpuffofthehuffle @cherrue @itsprashimusic @danielmarie @dampcelery0294 @shasasthings @bringbacktim @lou-larcher5 @yunakynn @hanbinnneee
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quin-ns · 1 year
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Neighborhood Dilf (Joel Miller x Reader)
Word count: 2.7K
Summary: joel finds out he has a nickname and he asks you what it means
Tags: pre-outbreak this is a happy fic guys!! I didn’t specify a year but let’s put it at 2000 for funsies so sarah is like 11 and joel is like 30ish. also fluff, humor, flirting, age gap, goofy plot (I don’t know what this is honestly), joel being the definition of a dilf and not knowing it, crushes, overall cuteness. also suburbia
A/N: I saw a tiktok where someone said they just knew joel was the neighborhood dilf and they were so real for that I had to write it. and no I don’t care that the word was popularized online we’re using it here. I’m here to provide a cute fluffy fanfic not a historically accurate one lol. also sorry if your name is bee, I tried to come up with a name for the friend that was a nickname so if it was someone’s actual name they could just imagine their full name (I overthink)
cross-posted to ao3 • tlou masterlist • main masterlist
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The loud music coming from outside woke you up from your afternoon nap. After spending a semester at college struggling to find even an hour of sleep, you were taking as many of those as possible. You were a little grouchy at first as you threw your covers off and stormed to your window, but quickly calmed down when you realized it was the annual block party your neighborhood hosted during the summer.
You’d gotten an in-person invite from Bee, another girl home from college who you’d been friends with in high school before going your separate ways. You still kept in touch since she was nice enough, which is how you found out her family was hosting this year. She’d confided in you personally that she would quote “go crazy if it was all kids and old people.”
As you looked out into their front yard, which was diagonal to yours, you saw that’s pretty much all it was. Since you were such a good friend, you decided that you’d go. 
You were getting dressed (at a leisurely pace) when your phone started to ring. You picked it up from your desk after you pulled your pink sundress on and flipped it open. The caller ID read Bee’s name and you answered, ready to tell her you were on your way.
“He’s here,” she said, sounding mistified, before you could even open your mouth. 
“Who?” you wondered, furrowing your brows a little to yourself as you went to the window.
“The neighborhood dilf,” Bee replied under her breath. 
The nickname made you laugh. It reminded you of high school. It had started as a joke, something you had started calling the new guy who’d moved into the neighborhood with his daughter a few years back. Later you found out his name was Joel Miller, but the nickname spread like wildfire to all the other girls in the neighborhood and it just stuck. 
Everyone knew about it; the girls of course, their confused parents, jealous boys who thought Joel was stealing their attention—the only person who wasn't aware of the moniker (as far as you knew) was Joel. Well, you hoped his daughter didn’t know either. Thankfully, after time, everyone forgot that you had started it. It was a bit embarrassing.
You walked away from the window to your closet and slid on your flip flops—it was summer in Texas, after all.
“You need to get over here, Y/N—what?” the last word sounded distant from the phone. “Yeah, she’s supposed to be on her way,” Bee replied, but to someone else.
“Um, hello?” you asked, waiting.
Bee was quiet for a few seconds, then whisper shouted into the phone, “you’ll never guess what just happened!”
“Let me guess, Joel just walked up and professed his love for you,” you teased, laughing at your own joke. “What, were my parents asking for me or something?” you guessed for real that time, recalling the small bit you had heard her say.
“Unfortunately no, and also no,” she sounded a little too disappointed about the first part, which made you chuckle again. “He did just ask me about you though.”
“Who?”
“The dilf.”
“Just use his name,” you told her with a roll of your eyes, heading out of your room to the stairs. “Wait.” You stopped for a second. “Joel asked about me?” 
“Yeah. I changed my mind, you’re not invited.”  If it wasn’t for her obvious sarcasm you might’ve thought she was serious. “He heard me say your name and asked if you’d be here soon. I—hey!” she yelled, causing you to pull the phone from your ear for a second. You continued your descent down the stairs as she yelled something about ‘kids’ and ‘stay out of there’. “I gotta go,” she said suddenly, then hung up.
You just shook your head with a small, amused smile and left your phone on the counter. Stupid dress and no pockets. 
You headed out the front door and walked across the street towards the party. 
It was in full swing. Music, games, food table—it looked like something out of a magazine. The Grants had a huge front yard—it was one of the nicer houses in the neighborhood—and it seemed like everyone was there. There were kids running around, adults all mingling—some sitting at the fold out tables, others walking around, others chasing their kids—there was also a group of dads surrounding the grill. You glanced that way and didn’t see Joel. You wondered where he was and if you should find him, but Bee found you first.
“The kids aren’t supposed to go inside alone and two of those little jerks went into my room,” Bee complained right away, straightening out her white blouse over her jean shorts. Her pinned back brown hair was a little messy, though. You wondered what happened, which she quickly answered. “I saw them jumping on my bed through the window.”
“Sounds like fun,” you commented sarcastically. Bee looped her arm through yours. 
“My dad set up ring toss and it’s all little kids, I don’t wanna be the only adult playing. Come on.” She dragged you along in that direction and you willingly went with.
You saw a few kids from the neighborhood playing, mostly the preteens who were too old for hopscotch but whose parents had told them they weren't old enough for the mini golf (one of the boys had overshared that little comment). 
“Y/N!” a girl's voice called. You looked that way and saw Sarah Miller walking towards you. A few days out of the week when her dad was working late, you’d go over to their house and keep an eye on her (before you left for college). It was the easiest babysitting gig you ever had; she was polite, always did her school work, and hardly caused any problems. Her dad had raised her very well. 
She looked older than you remembered her being, but you had been gone for both fall and spring semesters—well, you had been home for winter break briefly, but not enough to see anyone other than your parents.
“Sarah, hi!” you greeted, accepting the hug she offered when she got close. “How are you?”
“Good!” she said with a smile. “Are you guys gonna play with us?” she asked you and Bee. “I keep beating them and it’s not fun anymore.” 
You and Bee both laughed at that. “Sure, why not.”
“It feels weird playing with her after talking about how hot her dad is,” Bee whispered in your ear when Sarah went first. “You think he’ll come over here?”
“And what would you do if he did?” you challenged while hiding a chuckle, raising your brows at her.
“Um, probably nothing,” she admitted, cheeks a little pink. “He’s fun to look at though.” 
You hummed. “You’re not wrong.” 
The two of you played a few rounds of ring toss, although Bee got very bored quickly. “Can we go get some drinks?” she asked after not that long of playing.
“Sure,” you decided. You waved bye to Sarah and the others as the two of you walked off towards the cooler.
Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed some of the other girls in the neighborhood that hadn’t been in attendance before. For a couple that you knew, it didn’t seem like their scene. 
“What are they doing here?” you asked Bee.
“I may or may not have also told them the neighborhood dilf was here. They, uh, wanted to… see him,” she answered, avoiding eye contact.
You raised your brows in slight disbelief. “Are you serious?” 
“I wanted more people our age here,” Bee defended. “I wasn’t sure if you were even gonna show.”
You scoffed out a laugh. “You’re ridiculous,” you told her.
You reached the cooler and knelt down. You handed Bee a water, but she didn’t accept it. You looked up at her.
“Keep an eye out for the dilf, I haven’t seen him in a while. I’ll be right back,” Bee told you, taking off before you could say anything. You guessed the bathroom given her speed walking inside.
You laughed a little to yourself as you stood back up. You kept the water for yourself. You looked out amongst the crowd, realizing you were now on your own while everyone was in groups. You saw a couple people you were friends with and thought of maybe going up and joining them, but someone else spotted you first.
Joel Miller, the aforementioned neighborhood dilf, was walking towards you. Bee would be jealous, especially if she knew you and Joel were actually friends.
You had thought about telling Bee and some of the other girls that you were friends with Joel, given how much they just loved to gossip about him (how he was still single, how he looked really good in his pajamas getting the mail, that one time he took his shirt off while mowing the lawn—that was a big day) but then you thought better of it, not wanting to be run out of town by a jealous mob.
You were already getting glances by the time Joel stopped by your side so maybe your humbleness was pointless.
“Saw you all alone, thought I’d come keep you company,” Joel broke the ice with ease.
How long had he been watching you? The thought made your cheeks feel warm.
“Wow, what a gentleman,” you teased lightly, causing Joel to chuckle.
“I try,” he joked back, shooting you a small wink.
When you had first met Joel you were nervous around him. It was much easier to talk to him now that the two of you had become friends rather than acquaintances. He was an easy guy to get along with and you found yourself genuinely enjoying his company rather than just gawking at him in his yard from your window (like you used to do in high school). Your crush hadn’t disappeared though, so you joked around with him as a way to keep things casual and avoid getting in your own head. 
“Sarah told me you were finally here, she was happy to see you,” Joel mentioned with a light smile.
That made you smile back. “She’s a sweet kid,” you told him. “I was happy to see her too.”
You fiddled with the water bottle in your hand as you spoke, trying to unscrew the cap. The stupid thing was stuck and after a few seconds you gave up.
Joel gave you an amused look, glancing between your face and hands. “You want help with that?”
“Yes, please,” you handed it to him. “There you go again, proving chivalry isn’t dead. Thank you.”
Joel unscrewed the cap with ease and handed it back. “Happy to be at your service.”
“So, you guys been here a while?” you asked, sparking up conversation.
“Not too long, only an hour or so. It’s been fun though,” Joel explained. “More for Sarah than for me,” he admitted, glancing around to find his daughter. He spotted her and she waved, then continued playing with her friends.
“Why’s that?” you wondered, looking up at him just as he looked down at you. 
“Just… I mean, everyone is nice and all,” he started. “But I just feel like I got nothin’ to talk about with them, y’know? Except you.”
“Really?” You tried to not sound too thrown off by that, but you didn’t know he felt like that. It was interesting to say the least. 
“Is that such a surprise?” he wondered, raising an eyebrow curiously.
You shrugged. “Maybe a little. I get it though, I haven’t really talked to anyone other than Bee yet.”
“I don’t know if you’re friends with them, but I saw a bunch of girls your age walking around,” Joel said as a suggestion. 
“Nah, I’d rather just talk to you,” you said casually, before you could even think about what you had said. The look on Joel’s face changed a little, like he was trying to bite back a bigger smile.
“Well, that’s nice to hear,” he said after a moment. Your eyes met his and the way he looked at you made your heart skip a beat. You had to look away to be able to breathe, almost certain you were reading into things. You really, really did not want to be disappointed.
“Hey, can I ask you something?” Joel said, making you realize you hadn’t spoken yet.
“Sure, yeah.”
“You know… young person lingo, don't you?”
You laughed at the awkward wording. If it had been any of the other adults here using the word “lingo” you would’ve cringed, but there was something cute about the way Joel said it. You tried to snap that thought out of your head.
“Mostly, yeah,” you replied with a little chuckle paired with a curious tone. “What’s up?”
“Do you know what a dilf is?” he asked bluntly. That alone told you he had no idea. 
You were so stunned, all you could think to say was, “why?”
“Well, those girls I mentioned… I overhead some of them calling me that,” he explained, his eyebrows furrowing a little. “It’s not bad, is it?” 
Was this karma coming back to you for starting the nickname? It wouldn’t have surprised you. 
“It’s not bad, no,” you assured while also avoiding the main question.
“What is it then?” Joel’s interest was piqued now and while you couldn’t blame him, you also couldn’t think of a way to make this not weird.
“It’s an acronym,” you started. Joel watched you intently, waiting for an explanation. “It means dad I’d like to…” you trailed off, hinting at him the word to fill in the blank.
Joel just looked even more confused. “To what?”
Somehow he made cluelessness incredibly attractive.
Screw it, you thought. This was already weird. Rip the bandaid off, right? “Fuck,” you finished before you could think better of it. 
“Oh,” he stated. You knew it took a second for realization to hit. “Oh. So that means they, um,”
“It’s basically like saying you’re hot,” you explained, filling in when he couldn’t. You hoped he wouldn’t find it insulting or anything like that.
Joel looked a little bashful but found amusement in the situation nonetheless. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“You should,” you suggested, then sipped your water. You looked out at the people milling about rather than meeting his gaze.
“Do you think I’m one?”
You nearly choked on your water. “What?”
“Sorry,” Joel apologized quickly, trying to laugh it off. “I shouldn't've asked that.”
“It’s alright,” you assured him. You paused for a minute, contemplating what you might say to that. You got a rush of bravery. “If you’re asking if I think you’re attractive… the answer is yes.”
Joel couldn’t hold back his smile. He tried, but it was a failed effort. It was like he was trying to contain his anticipation. “What about if I wanted to ask you out? What would your answer be then?”
“Yes.”
Joel grinned. “I was hoping you’d say that,” he admitted. 
“Dad!” Sarah’s voice caused the two of you to look away from one another. You saw her running up to you guys and hoped she hadn’t heard a word of your conversation. “Can you come play with me? Mr. Grant just set up a bean bag toss!” 
“Sure, kiddo,” he told her. She grabbed his hand and started to drag him away. 
You smiled a little to yourself at the interaction—he was such a good dad.
Joel slowed her down a little bit to look back at you. “I’ll call you later, okay?” 
“Sounds good,” you replied, chuckling lightly. 
The Millers disappeared into the roaming people. You tried to follow them with your gaze but your attention got torn away.
“Waiting in a line for the bathroom in my own house is messed up,” Bee said, popping out seemingly out of nowhere. “What’s got you so happy?” she wondered, eyeing the smile on your face that couldn’t be erased.
“You won’t believe what just happened,” you replied. A part of you still couldn’t believe it. “I’ve got a date with the neighborhood dilf.”
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joel taglist: @the-ice-frozen-ground-red-rose @dontphunkwithmylove @cilliansangel @amethystwonders11 @frogsmuahh037 @andy-rocks @melllinaa @alitaar @melanie451 @b00kw0rmsworld @reverieisaway @avengersfan25 @aheadfullofsteverogers @strangeh0rizons @spideysimpossiblegirl @shannonmariebee
if you would like to be added to the joel taglist just send me an ask or a message! <3
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crypticreid · 7 months
Text
KINKTOBER DAY FOUR
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October 13 -- Virginity
masterlist
author's note: happy friday the 13th!! this is a behemoth, but it feels right to celebrate this day with a little bit of fireworks lol!! thank you to everyone who voted in the poll, I might do more of those throughout the month. thank you for reading and let me know if you want to be tagged! (also, because this took me so long, it isn't as tightly edited as my other work)
summary: To be completely honest, you're struggling a little bit with you new job at the BAU. Spencer is there to help. Oh, and maybe he can help you with a few other things too.
warnings: female reader, losing virginity, fingering, oral (female receiving), grinding, discussion about masturbation and mention of sex toys
word count: 6.9k (sorry? lol)
this is adut content. 18+ plus only. minors do not interact!
Morgan smiles up at you from his desk as you scramble into the bullpen. Garcia is leaning against his desk as she raises her eyebrows. You toss your go bag under your own desk and push your hair out of your face, trying to ignore the pair. 
“Rough night?” Morgan giggles, as he pushes the pencil he’s holding through his circled fingers suggestively. Garcia guffaws, but at least has the decency to playfully hit Morgan on the shoulder. 
“Can you two behave for like five minutes?” You groan and try to find your ID badge. You literally just had it to get into the BAU department, but now it has mysteriously disappeared. It isn’t on your desk or in any of your pockets, but you do find a couple crumpled up dollar bills that you toss onto your desk without thinking. 
The appearance of the bills causes Morgan to whistle. Emily walks over and sees the offending currency. “Damn, invite me next time!” She laughs. 
You roll your eyes and don’t reply. Instead, you pull up your go bag and start to empty it. Maybe you accidentally put your badge in one of the pockets, you rationalize.
“What is going on?” JJ asks with a small laugh, gesturing to the contents of your go bag now completely strewn across the desk. Clothing and toiletries clutter the surface and you know you look like a crazy person. And maybe you are crazy. No, you definitely are crazy. Anyone who does this job is absolutely batshit crazy. 
Tears sting your eyes, but you blink them away. You are absolutely not going to have a mental breakdown at eight in the morning in the bullpen, and definitely not in front of fucking Derek Morgan. “I can’t find my badge.” You mutter and drop down to your knees to look under your chair and desk. 
You palm the dirty floor, but don’t find anything. Your friends stifle their laughter. “I would help you but this is not a crawl around on the floor kind of dress.” Penelope offers. 
“Gee, thanks.” You say to yourself. 
“Hey, has anyone seen –” Spencer stops in both his tracks and his sentence when he notices you on the floor. He swallows. “I found your ID badge. Over by the door. I think you dropped it.” 
“Wonder boy saves the day!” Morgan exclaims. 
Spencer finishes his trek over to you and offers a hand to help you up. You glance up at him, blushing slightly at the angle. Who would’ve thought you’d be on your knees in front of Dr. Reid? Okay, you’ve definitely thought about it, but your imagination didn’t normally make it happen inside Quantico and it absolutely never in front of your coworkers. 
“Sorry, my hands are kind of dirty. Uh, from the floor.” You confess and take his hand as you stand up. His hand is warm and soft, like really soft. Like you could easily fall asleep to him rubbing your back in mindless patterns. As soon as you’re on your feet you slip your hand out of his to avoid your mind adding more ammunition to your middle of the night imaginations about Spencer. 
“It’s okay.” 
“Thanks. For the badge… and –” you take the badge from his other hand and gesture meaninglessly between the two of you. 
“You’re welcome.” He smiles at you and you feel yourself redden deeper. 
“Alright, alright! Time for kiss and tell!” Penelope exclaims and you blink away from your eye contact with Reid. 
“What?” You whip your head around to her. 
Emily makes kissing noises and musses her hair. “You. And some mystery person. Last night. Clearly.” 
You turn toward her. “No. I wasn’t…” you start, your eyes flick over to Spencer as he walks toward his desk. “There’s no one.” 
JJ leans on your desk and raises her brows. “Then what were you doing last night?” 
You could not tell them the truth, but it was also impossible to lie to the best profilers in the country, so you give them a half truth. “Nothing. I just had a bad night.” You shrug and start to put your clothing back in your go bag, not bothering to fold it. 
The truth is that it had been a bad night because you were struggling with the job. You’d been hired ten months ago and the lack of sleep, the neverending cases, and having to constantly deal with the horrific things humans can do to one another was taking its toll on you. Yesterday had been a day off and you wanted to use it to catch up on sleep, but everytime you closed your eyes, the faces of the people you couldn’t save filtered in. You hadn’t been able to get a good night’s sleep since you started and it had caused a complete breakdown last night. You had pulled up Hotch’s contact information four times ready to quit, but you knew you couldn’t do it. You were here for a reason, you’d stick it out.  
Penelope hums. “Well, if it wasn’t a person… then it must’ve been alcohol.” 
“Or gambling.” Emily adds. 
You roll your eyes. “I don’t gamble.” 
“You should. It’s a lot of fun. I’ll play you in Blackjack.” Emily smiles. 
“Don’t play with her, she counts cards.” Reid murmurs absentmindedly as he reads over a file at his desk. 
“I do not!” 
Everyone laughs, but then the laughter dies away when Hotch comes out of his office. “Looks like no one gets to have fun for a couple of days.” Emily groans. 
On the flight home after the case, you’re seated across from Spencer. Everyone else is asleep or has headphones in, even Hotch is passed out on the couch, which is rare. You still can’t sleep, so you stare out the window into the darkness as you fly over Virgina. Spencer clears his throat and you roll your head to look at him. 
“Are you okay?” He asks. 
You allow a small smile to form on your lips. “Yeah, I’m fine.” 
He swallows and puts the book in his hand down in his lap as he leans forward slightly. “I know we don’t know each other that well yet, but you don’t really seem like yourself lately. Are you sure you’re okay?” 
The sore achy feeling of wanting to cry but holding it in burns your throat. You cough softly.  “I’m okay, really. Just – having trouble sleeping.” You give just a little bit of information, hoping it assuages his curiosity. 
“Is it that mystery person keeping you up at night?” He asks point-blankly. 
Your mouth is agape and you snap it shut, “did you just make a joke?” 
“I tried to.” He smiles and you match his smile with your own. 
“There really isn’t anyone.” You shake your head. “I’ve never –” you almost let the rest of the sentence slip out, but stop yourself just in time. The lack of sleep is obviously affecting you more than you thought. 
“You’ve never what?” The way he moves his body forward in his seat makes your heart thrum in your chest. His body language is clear, even a rookie behavioral analyst could tell, he was prepared to listen to what you have to say. Not only that, but he actually cared. 
You bite the inside of your cheek before letting out a sigh. Before you answer, you lean closer toward him, “I’ve never had sex, actually.” 
His eyes widen and he clears his throat, “you’re a –” 
“Virgin,” you finish for him. “I’m not ashamed or embarrassed by it. And it isn’t like I’m saving it or anything. It just hasn’t happened yet.” You shrug. “In all honesty, part of me just wants to pick some random person and get it over with.” You let out a small breathy laugh in an attempt to make you feel less awkward. 
“Why haven’t you?” You meet his eyes. “I mean, just found a random person to get it over with?” 
One of your shoulders lifts in a half-hearted shrug. “I don’t know. Like when I think about it, I realize that I’d rather have someone I trust, you know. Someone who would take care of me and not just see me as another notch on their bedpost. At least for the first time. And then after that, I’d feel more comfortable just going out and… you know.” 
“Notching up some bed posts.” He nods knowingly and you giggle. He smiles, you notice that he enjoys making you laugh. A lot of the time it seems like people are maybe laughing at him or about him, but not you. He’s never the butt of the joke for you. 
“Sure, Spencer.” You can’t help, but trail your eyes over him and contemplate the question that’s on the tip of your tongue. “How did you lose your virginity?” 
He doesn’t seem offended or shocked by your question. “In college.” 
You scoff, “weren’t you like twelve?” 
“During my undergrad, yes. But I have multiple PhDs.” 
“Of course, Doctor Reid.” 
He shifts in his seat. “I was twenty. She was, uh, we worked in the same lab. And had the same research advisor.” 
“So you two experimented on each other.” You joked. 
Spencer’s face flushed and you felt a pang deep in your stomach. “In a way, yes.” 
“I’m joking, Spencer.” He nods in understanding. “Were you like her boyfriend?” 
“No, we just –” 
“Hooked up.” You finish for him. 
“For a couple months, yeah.” 
Your mouth drops and you whisper, “you had a fuck buddy?” 
His blush deepens. “I don’t think we ever called each other that.” 
“What did you call her?” 
“I don’t know. We never talked about it. I finished my doctoral thesis before her.” He shrugs. 
“Wow, who knew.” 
“What?” 
“Morgan isn’t the only playa on the team.” You giggle and scrunch your nose, feeling the stress of the last few weeks dissipate from your shoulders. 
“I’m not…” he laughs and shakes his head. He glances out the window. “We’re landing soon.” He swallows and leans back in his seat. It was terrible, but you had a strong urge to step across to his seat and straddle his lap and kiss him until you were both breathless. You turn your gaze back to the window and try to force the image away. 
Your car wouldn’t start. You forcefully turned the key in the ignition again, and it sputtered and died. As you hit your steering wheel, you let out a frustrated noise and hit it again. You turn to grab your cell phone from your bag to call a tow truck and jump when you hear a knock on your driver’s side window. Spencer stands there apologetically, waving his hand with his closed mouth smile. 
He steps aside when you open the car door and get out. “Is everything okay?” 
“No.” You laugh bitterly. “My car won’t start and I need to get a tow.” You bite your lip, but can’t stop the tears that bubble over. 
Spencer freezes, but then reaches out and touches your shoulder lightly. “It’s okay.” For some reason his comfort makes you cry harder. “Oh, uh, here,” he mutters and pulls you into a full hug. He squeezes you tight against him and rubs your back as you cry into his chest. 
“I’m sorry, Spencer.” You blubber into his shirt. 
“No, it’s okay. It’s gonna be okay.” 
“Is it?” You pull away from his chest to look in his eyes. “I’m failing at this job and –” 
“Woah, failing at this job?” He interrupts. “Who said that?” His brows furrow angrily. 
“No one.” You blink away the tears stuck in your eyelashes and Spencer reaches up and swipes away one that trails down your cheek. 
“You’re not failing. You’re excelling. You’re incredible. Truly, I mean that. I wouldn’t lie to you. I promise.” He swallows and you realize how close to his face you are, his hands wrapped around your back. 
You don’t stop yourself, even though you know you should, as you lean into him. His eyes flutter down to your lips, but he doesn’t pull away, so you keep going. Your lips touch his lightly, barely there before you back away. 
His hands tighten on you and pull you closer to him. He chases your lips with his and kisses you back, your own hands are on his chest and they twist into his shirt. You kiss him fervently, his hands traveling to your lower back, arching you into him. A moan escapes from the back of your throat and it breaks the spell. Spencer pulls away from the kiss. 
His lips are pink and shimmery and you want to kiss him again. Desperately. “I’m sorry.” He murmurs, his tongue slipping out and swiping across his bottom lip. 
“What for?” You blink. 
“Kissing you.” 
“I kissed you.” 
“I kissed you back.” 
“And you should do it again.” 
His eyes dart to your lips. He wants to, you can tell, but he stops himself. “We shouldn’t.” 
“Not here, at least.” You glance behind him and pray that the parking garage is completely empty. If your coworkers acted the way they did this morning about a nonexistent mystery person, you can only imagine their reactions if they saw you making out with Spencer. 
“It’s inappropriate.” 
“I don’t care.” 
“There’s paperwork.” 
“Not if we don’t tell anyone.” 
“That’s not how that works.” He laughs, you can feel the vibrations of the sound against his chest. 
“Do you always play by the rules, Dr. Reid?” 
He swallows harshly, you watch the movement of his Adam’s apple bob against the tight skin of his neck. “I’ll drive you home.” He deflects. 
You reach up on your toes and kiss him again. His hands spread on your back and press you against him and your hands pull him tighter to you, wrinkling his shirt. You hear footsteps and both of you step away from each other instantly, putting distance between your bodies. You turn your head to see a person you don’t recognize come into view from the other side of the parking garage. They don’t even glance in your direction. The hammering in your chest slows and you turn back to Spencer. He runs a hand through his hair. 
“Grab your bag.” He says with an authority that makes you spring into action quickly. Neither of you say anything as you follow him down the rows of agents’ cars to his car. He opens the passenger side for you, the vintage car creaks in protest. He closes the door and you watch from the rearview mirror as he walks around the back of the car toward the driver’s side, his hands in his pocket. 
He slides into the car seat and starts the car, it rumbles to life loudly. “I normally don’t even drive to work, just take public transportation. But I had an errand the other day.” He explains absentmindedly as he checks the rearview mirror and slowly backs out of the park spot. 
“It’s kismet.” 
“I always thought it was interesting that the English pilfered that word from the Turkish language. Considering words like fate and destiny already existed. Some etymologists attribute it to the rampant orientalism at the time. You know, like kismet was more mysterious or mystical or exciting than just simple fate.” He rambles and drives you out of the parking garage. A heady want begins to grow in your lower stomach. “And of course, the Turkish developed the word from an Arabic word meaning portion or lot. Which is fascinating.” 
“It is.” You say earnestly. 
He glances over at you sheepishly. “Sorry, I don’t mean to ramble.” 
“Don’t apologize. I like it.” 
His eyes are already back on the road, but you can see his cheeks redden in a slight blush. “Where do you live?” He asks and you tell him. It isn’t a long drive, well it isn’t this late at night. Your morning commute is a nightmare. He gives you a brief look, “why did you join the BAU?” 
You exhale a long breath before you answer. “I wanted to help people I guess. Which is so cliche, but it’s the truth. Like it isn’t even about putting bad guys away or whatever. I just want to make the world safer. For everyone.” You look over at him and he meets your gaze for a split second. 
“You are doing a good job.” He states. You shake your head. “I mean it. You are. You’re making a difference. You’re helping people.” 
“But how do you keep your head above water? I mean… how do you not let it beat you down?” 
“We have each other. And you focus on the good.” 
You sit in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, letting his words sink in. “Thanks, Spencer. For everything today.” 
He pulls into a parking spot in front of your apartment building. “I’ll walk you up.” 
You go to unbuckle your seatbelt, but it doesn’t budge. You try again, but again, nothing. 
“Oh, sometimes it sticks. Here,” he leans across the middle and reaches for your seatbelt buckle. His fingers graze the outside of your thigh and inhale sharply, electricity buzzing from the simplest of touches. He unbuckles you and you let the seat belt slide across your body, he doesn’t move away from you. He’s close enough that you can feel his breath on your skin, it enflames you. 
“Spencer,” you whisper and turn your head toward him. His eyes slowly trail down your face toward your lips and then back up to your eyes. You can’t take it, so you lean forward and kiss him again. Tentative at first, waiting for him to respond. He does, his hands pulling your face closer to his, deepening the kiss. When you feel his tongue swipe across your bottom lip you open for him, let him explore and learn. You sigh into his mouth, your hands find their way to the back of his neck. 
He slips away from you, breathless, but starts to kiss down your jaw. He mutters your name against your skin. You feel the warmth of his kisses travel down your spine toward your core. 
“Come upstairs.” You sigh, when he bites lightly on a sensitive spot on your neck. 
“I can’t. I shouldn’t.” He pants against your skin. 
“I want you.” 
He groans, deep and frustrated, and moves to lean his forehead against yours, both of your heavy breathing intermingling and becoming one. “You shouldn’t want me.” 
“Why not? And don’t say the bullshit about us working together. I don’t care, Spencer. I trust you. I want you.” 
He backs his head away from your forehead so that he can look into your eyes, his thumb against your cheek brushes back and forth. “You trust me?” 
“With everything in me.” He kisses you again, softly, tenderly. 
“I’ll take care of you.” 
“I know.” You kiss him back and then pull away. He nods and you return it with a nod of your own. 
His tongue glides across his lip and he swallows. You blink and he’s moving out of his seat and already at the passenger side door before you can reach for the handle. He opens it quickly and helps you out. It’s old school, but it makes your heart stutter and start. When he takes your hand in his, it feels like two magnets being drawn together. He slams the car door shut and you lead him up to your apartment. 
Once you unlock your front door and guide him in, you shut the door and turn to look at him. You flick on the light. He stares at you and asks, “you’re sure?” 
“Positive.” You step toward him and reach out to slide your hands across his stomach and then land on his waist. “Do I have to kiss you first again, or –” you don’t have to finish your question before his lips are on yours. His kisses are not tentative or searching, they’re needy and impassioned. Before long, you’re clawing at his shirt, untucking it from his pants and then reaching up to undo his tie. 
He stops you as he breathes laboriously. “Wait, we should slow down.” 
You continue to work on his tie, perpetually crooked, but now just an obstacle to what you need desperately.  “I don’t wanna go slow.” 
He moans and you finally get his tie undone and whip it off. “No, we should.” 
Your fingers work deftly against his buttons, one at a time, and you look up at him. “I’m a virgin, but I’m not inexperienced. I’m not a delicate flower.” 
His expression changes, his eyes grow heavy and he quirks his jaw. “Not inexperienced?” 
“I’m not.” You almost sound like a petulant teenager. 
“How far?” 
“What?” 
“How far have you gotten?” Your hands stop almost halfway through the third to last button. You don’t answer. His voice deepens, gravely and sexy, “you’ve clearly kissed before.” You nod. “Have you had someone feel your breasts?” As he asks the question, his hand reaches up and caresses your breast. You lean into the touch. “Has anyone put their mouth on your breasts, marking you as theirs? Rolling your nipple between their teeth?” He inclines his head into the crook of your neck and presses a hot kiss there. “Have you ever had somebody's mouth on your clit?” 
Your breathing is sharp and jagged, but Spencer simply continues. “Would you let someone use their tongue to make you come? Or maybe even their fingers? Pump their fingers into until you're squirming?” 
“Spencer,” you plead. 
He continues to massage your breast as his other hand slips under your shirt and trails across your hips and stomach. “Or do you just mean that you’ve touched yourself? You’ve laid in bed and explored this beautiful body. Know just exactly how to make yourself shiver from your own fingers.” 
You’re almost overwhelmed by his touch, his lips on your skin, and his words, your head is spinning, but you’re also desperate for more. 
“We’re going to take it slow.” He informs you and it isn’t up for discussion. “Not because I think you’re a delicate flower.” He throws your own words back at you. “But because I want to take my time with you. I want to learn everything about your body. I want to touch every single inch of you with my hands. I want to make you come, I want to feel you come. Over and over again.” You’re practically shaking in his hands when his lips and teeth scrap across your jaw and to your lips. He takes them with his and you’re like clay on a potter’s wheel, malleable and completely at his will, waiting to be crafted into his masterpiece. 
“Do you want that?” He breathes on your lips. 
You somehow know instinctively that he wants a verbal confirmation, so you answer, “yes.” 
He continues to kiss you, deeply, almost like a starved man tasting his first bit of sustenance. You answer with your own fervency. His hand at your hip squeezes and pulls you tight against him and you feel his want against you. It makes you moan. You grind your body against him and his grip tights even more. 
“Bedroom. Where’s your bedroom?” He stutters, but doesn’t stop kissing you and you don’t stop either. Your hands are in his hair, pulling and twisting, holding him impossibly close to you. You didn’t know kissing could make you feel this way, simultaneously feverish and desperate, but also insatiable. You felt like you could kiss Spencer for a lifetime and never tire of it. He wasn’t close enough even though your bodies were pressed together, you needed more. The only thought in your brain is simply, more, more, more. 
He pulls away from you, both of you taking heaving breaths. His lips were perfectly pink, your body thrummed with the knowledge that you caused such a change in him. 
“Bedroom.” The single word went straight to your core. You take his hand and guide him to your bedroom. 
Once you turn on the light, he’s behind you, pressing into you. You can feel every part of him, and he kisses the back of your neck. He’s back to being soft and gentle. He brings his hands to your stomach and inches them under your shirt until he has your breasts in his hands. 
Your breasts feel heavy and logically you know why. Blood has rushed to them, just as it has rushed to your other erogenous zones, and it is sending a signal to your brain to release oxytocin. But you’re realizing that logic has no place in your head when Spencer’s hands and mouth are on you. Logic means nothing to you at this moment. 
“You’re so beautiful.” He compliments as he fondles your breasts, your head lolls back against his chest. He angles his head so he can kiss your cheek. “You distracted me that very first case you were on. Did you know that?” 
“No,” your eyes flutter shut when he moves down to kiss your jaw. 
“I thought you were so gorgeous. After the case, I went home to my apartment and touched myself as I imagined you. I felt so ashamed, I couldn’t even look you in the eyes the next morning.” 
Your mind wanders back to all those months ago. “I thought I had done something wrong,” you remember. 
“No, it was me. I was wrong. But I couldn’t stop. I mean you can feel what you do to me.” He was right, you could distinctly feel the effect you had on him. 
“I thought of you too.” You confess. 
“You did?” His voice is low and breathy and you nod. “In that bed.” He ticks his head to gesture toward it. “Tell me.” 
You feel yourself heat with blush. His thumbs brush across your nipples through your bra and your breath gets caught in your throat. You swallow and answer. “I would lie there, normally because I couldn’t sleep. And then I’d think about you. Your hands, I’d think about your hands.” 
“My hands?” He squeezes your breasts. 
You nod and answer simultaneously, “yes. I’d imagine them on my body, touching me.” He brushes your nipples again and you shiver. “And I’d slip my hand into my underwear, and rub my clit. Pretend it was you.” His hands abandon your breasts and slide around to your back. You step forward as he takes off your shirt and then unhooks your bra and helps you out of it. His hands on your hips turn you to face him. 
“I knew you were beautiful. But you’re perfect.” Your instinct is to feel self conscious under his gaze, but you push it away when you notice the admiration in his eyes.  
You reach for him and finish the job of unbuttoning his shirt and then peeling it off of him. “Fair is fair.” You say. He laughs, but his laugh dies in his throat when your nails scratch down his chest. 
Your hands explore his exposed chest and back, feeling the muscle move underneath soft skin, and he works to rid you of your pants. You use him for balance as you step out of your pants, but as soon as you're standing on two feet again, he backs you toward your bed. 
When the back of your legs hit the bed, you allow yourself to fall back onto it. He leans over you, your legs open for him and he kisses you again. Your hands continue their previous tour of his back, now feeling how his shoulder blades move when he grinds against you. 
The first time he does it, you throw your head back in a moan. Even though you have multiple layers of fabric between you, you can still feel the heat radiating through you. He does it again and you arch up to meet his movement. When he does it a third time your nails scratch down his back. 
He makes a low noise from the back of his throat and you know that your panties are soaked. His lips take a journey down your body, kissing and nipping at your clavicle, your chest, spending a significant amount of time on both of your breasts, and down your stomach. Your clawing at his back by the time his mouth meets the band of your underwear. 
“Look at you,” he whispers. His thumb rubs lightly at your clit over the fabric. Your thighs clench and he laughs. “Keep them open for me, baby.” You mewl at the pet name. “You like that? Being called baby?” 
“Yes.” You groan out when his thumb repeats his earlier action. 
He does it again, almost unbearably slow. “I want to taste you so bad. I’ve wanted to know how good you taste for so long.” His voice is strained. 
“You can. I want you to.” 
His hands skate up to the hem of your underwear and you lift your hips slightly as he pulls them down. You open your legs for him again and he swallows. “Stunning.” His mouth is on you before you have time to process the word. 
Almost instantly, he moans against you, the vibrations causing your toes to curl. Your hands clench your duvet and he pulls away for a split second, “touch me.” You do what he asks, coiling your fingers into his hair. He laps at your clit, creating a pattern and rhythm that makes your buck up to meet him. His hands grip at your hips and hold you in place. 
“Spencer, oh fuck,” you ramble. He answers by moaning against you again and then sucking your clit into his lips. You bite down a scream. The heat at the base of your spine spreads across your body. “Oh my god. Oh god.” 
He alternates between lapping and sucking at your sensitive bud, your nails practically digging into his scalp, your toes curling, as you try to catch your breath. Just at the moment where it feels like too much, your body clenches and crashes over the edge of your ecstacy, his name falling from your lips repeatedly. 
He continues to lap at you softly until your muscles relax in his arms and then he looks up at you, smiling and his lips glistening, “you’re incredible.” You pull him up, so that you can kiss him. You kiss the taste of you off his lips. He brings his head up to look at you, pushes away the stray hairs stuck to your forehead. “Are you going to get sick of me calling you beautiful?” He smiles. 
“No, I don’t think I could.” He smiles into another kiss. His hands travel down your body and as soon as one of his fingers slides across your folds, the flames reignite. 
“Is this okay?” He asks. “I want all of you.” One of his fingers slips inside of you and then he pulls it out. He slides it back in and then repeats his action, starting slow and building up to a comfortable tempo, as he continues to kiss you. Nothing about his movements is frantic, but rather languid and relaxed, gently stoking the growing fire inside of you. You grind your hips against his finger and he smoothly adds a second finger. The feeling is different, but not bad as you feel yourself accommodating the extra digit. 
“Alright?” He checks in with you, looking into your eyes. 
“It feels good.” It’s not like the times you’ve laid here in this bed with your fingers inside you. It’s an entirely divergent sensation that you don’t think your imagination would have been able to conjure. “Really good.” 
“Yeah?” He stops sliding his fingers in and out and instead leaves them inside as he pumps them, almost as if he’s searching. He finds what he’s looking for when you gasp and cling to his shoulder. 
“Yeah.” You nod furiously, biting down on your lip. He’s no longer building the tension within you. Instead, it’s like he’s playing with a taut rubber band, waiting for it to snap. 
You feel your eyes start to close, wanting to roll to the back of your head. “Keep your eyes on me, baby. I want to see. Want to see you come apart for me.” 
You force your eyes open. “Spencer…” 
“I know, relax into it.” His thumb starts to rub your clit. “You’re doing so good.”  
“Oh my god,” you start to mutter and ramble again, a mixture of curses and Spencer’s name. You never break eye contact with him. It’s intense, but also intimate. 
“Are you gonna come for me, baby?” 
You let out a whine in answer and feel a muscle in your thigh twitch. Your core clenching on his fingers, the wet sounds of his fingers inside of you filling the room. The grip on his shoulders is tight and you hope it isn’t painful, but he barely seems to notice, all of his attention is on you. The mixture of admiration and lust on his features is almost too much. But you’re realizing that Spencer Reid never does anything part way or half-assed. Once Spencer puts his mind to something, he’s going to accomplish it. Not only that, but he’s going to put an almost Herculean effort into it. And somehow, you’ve become something he’s put his mind to. The thought makes you lean up and kiss him. 
You kiss him until a gasp separates your lips from him. “So perfect,” he muses. Your core constricts and contracts on his fingers. Your breathing is short and your legs feel like they’re shaking, but you can’t really tell. “Come for me.” 
One more shaky breath and then you do, the rubber band snaps. Your body arcs up into him and he swallows your shout with his lips, kissing you deeply. Again, he slows down but doesn’t stop, guiding you down from your high. When he does pull his fingers from you, you watch as he brings them to his mouth and sucks them clean. 
This time you don’t need him to rekindle the flame of need inside of you, it's already there. You reach between your bodies for his belt. Together, the two of you make quick work of the last of his clothing. And then he’s kissing you again, both his hands and your own caress, rub, and grab at each other. You reach down lower and lower, until you meet his hardened length with your hand. You grip the base and he falters. 
“I’d love that. Really, I want it so bad. But I won’t last, baby.” You squeeze him again and smile up at him, fluttering your eyelashes. “You’re a vixen.” He laughs, kissing you. 
“I want you.” 
“Fuck. I don’t have a condom.” You blink, it’s the first time you’ve ever heard Spencer drop the f-bomb. You giggle. 
“I have some.” One of his eyebrows raises in question and you shrug. “I like to be prepared. They’re over there.” You gesture toward your nightstand and he stretches over to open it. 
“Oh,” he lets out a surprised gasp and just then you remember what else is in your top drawer. “I guess you don’t just use your fingers to masturbate, do you?” He laughs. 
You reach up behind you and grab a pillow and toss it at him. He dodges it and it falls to the floor. “Like I said, I’m a virgin, not inexperienced.” 
Spencer grabs the box of unopened condoms, opens it and pulls one out. He carefully places the box back, his eyes lingering on your menagerie of sex toys. 
“What are you doing?” You ask. 
“I have an eidetic memory. I’m remembering… for later.” He smiles and you feel your heart speed up, pounding against your ribcage. You hadn’t had time to discuss anything past tonight. His smile falters. “I mean – I don’t mean to presume anything. Only if you want.” 
You reach over to him and pull him back toward you, kissing him. “I do. I want there to be a next time. Other times.” 
He looks down at you, searching. “Good, I do too.” He kisses you and only pulls away to put on the condom. He continues his kisses as he moves to position himself, spreading your legs for him. He brushes his thumb over your clit again and you moan. When he lifts his head from yours and glances up at you. You nod your head. 
You feel the tip of him at your entrance, pressing against you, but not fully in. That’s all he does at first, until you move on him and allow him to slip into you. He works himself into you, allowing you to stretch around him. It isn’t uncomfortable, but it’s definitely a new sensation. None of your toys feel like him. Both of you watch as his penis slowly disappears inside of you. He pushes in the last inch with a thrust. There’s a flash of a pinch and you let out a breath. 
“Are you okay?” He asks. 
“Yeah, just give me a second.” He nods, licks his bottom lip and then resumes his circles on your clit. It only takes a few seconds for you to relax on him. You grind your hips, somehow taking him deeper. He groans. “Move, Spencer. Please.” 
He inches out of you and then pushes back in without any urgency or force. He starts the same pattern and rhythm his fingers had used earlier that night. The feeling of him moving inside of you is incredible, you can feel him dragging against your walls. His body against yours, skin to skin, more connected than you’ve ever been with anyone else. Between the feeling of him pumping into and his movement against your clit, it doesn’t take long until you’re clawing at his back, wordlessly asking him for more. He answers, creating a relentless rhythm that you grind your hips to match. 
At some point, your eyes had shut and you hadn’t realized and so you force them open again, wanting to watch Spencer come apart just like he watched you. “You feel so good. Better than I could have imagined.” He starts to ramble. “I can’t believe I get to feel you like this. So good.” 
His eyes shoot down to watch himself slip in and out of you. “Fuck.” He cusses again. You decide you like when he curses, especially if you’re the reason. He moves his hips and his cock finds the same spot his fingers found earlier and you clench around him as you let out a deep groan. 
You lose track of time, it moves at a snail’s pace, but also at the speed of light. Time ceases to exist to you, your world shrinks down to only the two of you, everything else falls away. And then you’re falling again, diving headfirst into an orgasm. 
“Yes, yes. I love feeling you like this. Oh my god… oh fuck. I’m gonna –” he sputters. 
You reach up and pull his lips to yours, kissing him through his own orgasm. He shakes above you as he pumps into you with a final harsh push. And then when he peaks, he slowly fucks into you through his orgasm. He continues to kiss you until both of your breathing returns to normal and then he lifts his head to look at you. 
He smiles and you can’t help it when a huge toothy smile appears on your own face. 
“Are you okay?” He inquires. 
“I’m perfect.” 
His hand reaches up and caresses the side of your face. “You are.” 
The next morning you walk into the office still smiling. Everyone is around the desks, including Spencer. He glances over at you and nods in greeting, as if you hadn’t just said goodbye to him a few hours ago, the first golden rays of dawn streaming through your bedroom window. 
“Good morning.” You say to everyone. You set your go bag down at your desk and Emily smiles over at you, a mischievous glint in her eyes. 
“Oh, Morgan. You had it all wrong.” She teases. 
Morgan looks at Emily and then over to you. “What?” 
“That is the look of a woman who got it real good last night.” Emily laughs, loud and brash. You smile with her and Penelope gasps. 
“Tell. Me. Everything.” She runs over to you and grabs onto your arm. 
“I have no idea what you mean.” You reply innocently. 
JJ smirks. “Oh, she got it real good last night.” 
“Is sex all you guys think about?” You joke. The girls laugh and Morgan still seems confused. Spencer is focused on the file on his desk, but his finger isn’t moving down it and you know he isn’t reading it. “I had a good night last night.” You give a small inch, just to stave them off. Penelope squeals. You grab her hand. “And that’s all I’ll say about it.” 
“Boo!” Emily exclaims. 
Penelope almost pouts. “Oh, you are the worst!” 
“I know!” You laugh gleefully. Spencer looks up for only a split second, but you catch it and he smiles at you. 
“I’ll find out eventually. You do know that, right?” Penelope warns. 
“You are terrifying.” You squeeze her arm and turn away from the group to start on your mountain of files. It’s true that eventually everyone would probably find out about you and Spencer, but for now the two of you get to live in your own personal world. You smile to yourself.
tag list: @spenciesprincess @catalinasroom @tylevx @alicentswife @ingrid69rs @sobbingcryingattsizzles @infinitegalaxiesworld
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hp-hcs · 5 months
Note
violent stalker mattheo riddle.... each guy and girl readers ever spoken to? damn wdym they showed up beaten up the next day and they dont even know who did it ????
i feel like he'd also get violent with reader and ykw .... im so insane id let him beat me bloody .
"i'm doing this because you're not listening to me, sweetheart. how else am i supposed to show you that trying to leave me is what you shouldn't do?"
hey uh, future requesters: giving me a line of dialogue or smth to build around means i’ll finish your request WAY faster. tysm anon 😭
requests open
prometheus — yandere! insane! stalker! mattheo riddle x gn! reader
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wow! there’s a fuck ton of really fucking dark violence, murder, torture, manipulation, abduction, and horrific domestic abuse in this! please be careful if you choose to read this!
1.5k words!
i jokingly took a sociopathy test with a couple of friends earlier today and i scored like really high so uh dunno how to feel about that
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
“Am I…am I in trouble or something, Professor…?”
Professor McGonagall’s lips thinned and she looked at you over the rim of her glasses. She folded her hands together neatly where they rested on her desk before speaking. “Not for now, no. Relax a bit, dear. The law states that you’re innocent until proven guilty.”
“That’s not- that doesn’t really make me less nervous.”
The professor opened her mouth to speak again when a chime alerted her to an incoming floo call.
With a wave of her wand, the flames flared green and a genial-looking man stepped out of the fireplace. He brushed soot off of his robes and grinned brightly as soon as he caught sight of the professor.
“Minerva! Lovely to see you again. I’m afraid Quincy isn’t going to make it. Corbett is sick, poor thing, so he’s staying home with him today,” the man gushed, evidently quite close with the professor.
“Oh, send them both my well wishes, Hez, dear. Anyway, this is the student you asked to see, Y/n L/n,” she motioned towards you.
The man gave you a cheery grin—far too cheerful for this early in the morning—and held out his hand for you to shake. “A pleasure to meet you, Mx. L/n. I’m Auror Hezekiah Ackerly. I’d just like to ask you a few questions if that’s alright?”
You dubiously shook his outstretched hand, a bit put off by his bright grin that never seemed to dim. “Sure.”
“Wonderful!” the Auror pulled the second office guest chair closer and sat down across from you. “Let’s get the easy questions out of the way. Do you have many friends? Or maybe a small, close-knit group of people you regularly hang out with?”
Your eyebrows furrowed. The fuck kind of question was this?
“Uh, I guess a close-knit group?”
Auror Ackerly summoned a notebook and quill, writing quickly. “Who belongs to this group?”
Seriously, this felt more like being at a psychiatrist’s office than being questioned by a government official.
“Er, Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, and Hermione Granger? And sometimes Neville Longbottom and Luna Lovegood?”
Seriously, what was going on?
“And do you have any…romantic relationships? Any troubles or issues there?”
Your eyes narrow. “What’re you playing at?”
“Cormac McLaggen was found dead in the Forbidden Forest this morning,” Professor McGonagall cut to the chase, interrupting Auror Ackerly. “You were the last known person to have spoken to him, and several of your peers attest that they heard an argument break out between the two of you last night after dinner.”
Your eyebrows shot up and your jaw dropped. “Dead? Wh- how?”
“That’s what we at the Ministry would like to know,” Auror Ackerly interjected smoothly. “You’re not in trouble, Mx. L/n, but I am here to escort you to the Ministry for questioning.”
Your jaw dropped.
They thought you did this?
~~~
You sat at a table, alone in some room deep inside the Ministry building.
You huffed, folding yet another paper crane from the stack of sticky notes Ackerly had oh-so-thoughtfully left for you after your interrogation.
You set the finished bird on the table, the small pile of origami cranes you’ve made while waiting slowly getting larger.
Peeling off another sticky note, you started folding another when a nice-looking man in well-pressed robes entered the barren room and stopped in front of your table. He looked down at you with mild bafflement.
“L/n, I presume?”
“That’d be me,” you mumbled, adding your newest crane to the pile.
The man smiled gently before waving a hand over your paper birds and enchanting them to fly.
You tried to hide your awe as you look up at the cranes that floated and soared around the room.
The man smiled at your reaction. “It’s quite nice to finally meet you, Mx. L/n. You’ve been the topic of many a discussion today.”
“I’d imagine so, yes,” you said dryly. “Not many teenagers accused of murder coming through the department, huh?”
He grinned. “Not really, no.”
The man pulled out the other chair at the table, sitting down across from you and rifling through the thick manila folder he held.
“Are you here to interrogate me some more?” You asked suspiciously. “Ask Ackerly, man. I already told him everything I know.”
He laughed. “No, I’m not here to interrogate you. I’m your lawyer, Mx. L/n.”
You blink. “I don’t have a lawyer. My family can’t afford that.”
“You always have the right to an attorney, Mx. L/n,” he said kindly as he held out his hand to you. “Octavian Foxglove, Esquire.”
“Y/n L/n, but you already knew that,” you greet, shaking his hand.
He smiled again.
He was a very smiley man.
He laid out the manila folder and turned it around on the table so that you would be able to see it.
The first paper on top was a copy of your school records, with a bright red PRIMARY SUSPECT stamped over the top of your picture.
You grimaced.
Your lawyer nodded sympathetically. “There’s a photo underneath that page, by the way. Supposedly the last photo we have of McLaggen still alive and, uh…it’s not looking great for you, in all honesty.”
You moved your school records page aside, finding a standard moving photograph paperclipped to the inside of the file.
It showed, quite clearly, you speaking with Cormac McLaggen in a hallway. Picture-Cormac angrily threw his arms up in the air and silently yelled at picture-you, while your body language in the photo loudly screamed ‘furious & upset’.
He was right. It wasn’t a great look.
“And there’s only one thing I need you to- oh, where is it?” He dug through the inside pockets of his robes, procuring a pen. “Aha! The next page has a simple contract. I just need a signature stating that you either accept me as your public defender, or would like to request someone else from the Ministry to handle your case.”
You nod, flipping the page to the contract he indicated. Mr. Foxglove smiled again and held the pen out to you.
As soon as your fingers made contact with the pen, you vanished.
~~~
You stumbled blindly, almost falling to the floor before a hand caught your elbow and steadied you.
“Easy, careful.”
You whirled around, surprised to see a different man in Mr. Foxglove’s clothes. He held his hands up in a non-threatening manner.
“Woah- slow down, kid. You’re fine.”
“Who the hell are you?”
“I’m- was your lawyer,” he shrugged and smiled. “Augustus Rookwood, at your service.”
It dawned on you. “It was a portkey,” you breathed. “The pen. It was a portkey, wasn’t it?”
“Clever kid,” he sounded impressed. “Now c’mon. The boss wants to see you.”
You followed the man without complaint; half out of curiosity, half out of the knowledge that Augustus Rookwood was an Azkaban escapee charged with at least forty counts of first degree murder.
Pretty simple choice.
It looked like you were in a wealthy aristocrat’s house. Er, mansion, more accurately. The hallway you were walking down was old and stuffy and dusty, and the overall aura of Dark magic that permeated the very air of the house sent shivers down your spine.
Rookwood led you down a flight of rickety stairs to the first floor, and then down a narrow hallway and into a study, where he left you without another word.
The study itself was old. Everything was coated in a thick layer of dust except for the pristine and polished bureau right in the center.
(Obviously, ‘the boss’ was sitting at this desk.)
((Villains tend to be predictable like that.))
However, you were surprised to see that ‘the boss’ was-
“Riddle?”
He looked up at the sound of your voice, a wide grin spreading across his face as he hurriedly got up from his desk.
“Y/n, darling, hello!” He gushed, practically skipping over towards you before pulling you into a very uncomfortable hug. “Sweetheart- oh, I’m so glad you’ve made it here safely! Rookwood really is my only competent assistant; I must be sure to give him a raise.”
You froze up at the unexpected hug, your arms remaining stiffly by your sides. He let go after a moment, but remained just a bit too close for comfort.
“Hopefully the Ministry didn’t give you too hard of a time,” he rubbed the back of his neck with a guilty grin. “I promise Ackerly’s a good man. When he’s, y’know, in control of his own body.”
Your eyes widen and you take a step back. “What?”
“Just a little Imperius, darling, no worries. Did you like your gift?”
You blinked, thrown off by his rapid changes in subjects. “Uh- gift?”
He smiled proudly. “McLaggen? He won’t bother you anymore, see?”
All the color drained from your face.
“You killed Cormac?”
He nods, grinning. “Uh-huh. I heard what McLaggen said to you last night in the hall, and I don’t like when other people look at what’s mine.”
“Yours?” You repeat, your lip curling in disgust. “You’d better not be referring to me.”
Mattheo paused, looking at you in confusion. “What else would I be talking about?”
You scoff in shock, shaking your head. “Yeah, nope, I’m out.”
You turned around without further preamble, marching out of the room and towards the front door that you’d passed earlier. Mattheo laughed and followed you out of the study at a leisurely pace, seemingly unworried.
“Where are you going to go, darling? As far as the general public is concerned, you’re on the run after brutally murdering a classmate. You’re Wanted with a capital W, sweetheart.”
“I’ll figure it out,” you snarled, storming towards the front door.
“Y/n…” He warned, drawing his wand and pointing it at you. “Get back here. Now.”
“Fuck off.” You spat over your shoulder, not sparing him another glance.
That was clearly not the thing to say. As if in slow motion, you heard a dreaded word fall from his lips.
“Crucio!”
You were struck with pain that was so overwhelming, so blinding, so agonizing, that you were sure you were going to die.
You were only half aware that you’d fallen to the floor at some point as wave after wave of unbearable pain crashed over you. You could feel your bones creaking and grinding together, your skin splitting apart only to knit itself back together just to be torn apart again, like you were some fucked up wixen version of fucking Prometheus.
You were only vaguely aware that you were speaking, pleading. Pleading not for the Unforgivable to be lifted, but for him to just end it, end you, entirely.
“K-kill me! Kill m-me…please!” You begged, blood trailing down from the corner of your mouth and smeared across your chin. You must’ve bit your tongue hard for it to bleed like that, and the sting from that wound while you speak is just too overwhelming when combined with the pain from the Cruciatus Curse.
Then all at once, it stops.
You gasp for air, your entire body trembling and numb as you lay sprawled across the floor like a marionette with its strings cut.
Mattheo kneeled down by your side and cupped your face in his hands with a kind of tender gentleness that felt deeply wrong coming from him.
“See, I’m doing this because you’re not listening to me, sweetheart. How else am I supposed to show you that trying to leave me is what you shouldn’t do?” He cooed softly, gently wiping the blood from your chin with the sleeve of his shirt.
You flinched back at his touch. Your body—still wracked with uncontrollable quivers and trembles—tried in vain to crawl away from him.
“Oh no, honey- hey, honey- I promise it’s all over, okay? You were so so good for me. But you see now that you’ve got to stay with me, right?”
Your jaw quivered and your still-stinging tongue felt thick in your mouth, yet you managed to spit vicious hatred towards him.
“G-go to hell.”
A flurry of emotions crossed his face: surprise, anger, guilt, and disappointment; all of which were topped by the underlying aura of pure sadistic glee that exuded from him.
“Oh? Do you need another lesson or two before you learn?” He sighed and shook his head patronizingly. “Very well then, darling. Crucio!”
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
taglist! @gayaristocrat @slytherinboysappreciation @lemonaderiddle @h-------n @yournogoodalone @knave-hearts @schaebickel @lexacantsleep @big-brother-problems @darkcharmx @cyberbl4de @amandajonhsson @megannxn @catz-80 @ghostiesen @fruityfrog505 @coysa @fruitypebblesstuff @mildlyuninformative @glittervame @cayaevans1 @lizeylavender @cloudydaysinmydreams @ironickarkatlover @ahead-fullofdreams @tachyon-girl @jaythes1mp @lovelyfandomqueen @ashisgreedy @mothermah3m @siuspider @ineedtogetalife11 @cherry-berry-ollie @cherriosxfish @a-hopeless-romantics-blog @fallingblackveils @ldrsog @linde0s @ghost-tyr @booksouflette @h0treader @maraudersforlife2005 @ahano @miah-macaroni @whatislifes-stuff @iara-ximena17 @goth-blackcat @dutifullyfuturisticwizard @docackerman @mizu-mc @tiacordelia02 @mingyuethesimp @luvlli @dracoshusband @verychaoticgay @thathogwartsjedi @lisbethpisbeth @remusily @daliah-xxo @rainy-darling @corinneeagles @sle1epy @averys-place @shibble @i-love-sirius-black7 @azu-202029 @artemismckinnon @lostboychimera @yukimaniac @annegrey
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nailisaa · 11 months
Note
hi nai!! i entered the void state last night (i woke up in it) and i manifested always waking up in it every night aware and my desired appearance. there's more that i want to manifest but tbh i don't rlly know what i want to do with my life and stuff and i would kinda use that as an excuse to procastinate but @gorgeouslypink once advised me to stop using that as an excuse and that i could contemplate after i entered so now im doing the contemplating about it
but i rlly just wanted to thank you and @gorgeouslypink and @xoxoloagossipgirl because you guys are the reasons i was able to enter
my sob story: i had been trying to enter for 2 years now and honestly i was never even consistent and i would just not even try until something super bad happened and then i would try to enter that night and ofc i wouldn't and i was just self sabatoging myself even though i rlly needed to enter. i dropped out of school bc of bullying and hid it from my parents, my parents were super abusive and mysoginisitc, i was bullied at school and work, i only had 2 friends and they both didn't rlly care about me that much, etc
what finally got me in: i came across the "wonyoung challenge" and i started binging gorgeouslypink and your page. gorgeosulypink doubts post is acc god send, like i recommend it to every single person who's trying to enter the void and it just motivated me so much and then i found your page and read a few of your loa posts and then cqme across the wonyoung challenge and i just basically followed it and entered
my advice: don't put a time limit and seriously occupy the mindset of wonyoung. i kept telling myself i am going to wake up in the void tonight because i said so because im just like wonyoung and if any issue came up, id just be like imma fix that in the void. at first, ig i was affirming and persisting cuz i was trying to adapt to that kinda new mindset but by day 3 it just kinda became natural and i did sats everyday. i struggled with sats but i mastered it by day 4 and then i entered it on day 5. literally just watch wonyoung content and watch how she is and copy it. she knows she's that girl and she always knows things are going to work out for her. so just know you are going to enter the void state and keep reminding yourself of that if it doesn't show up immediately but know that it is going to show up eventually because it's the law. sats is also really powerful and using it is the best thing u can do from my experience.
anyways thanks and I'm so grateful for you and pink and xoxo!!! 🤎💜💙💚💛❤️
AHH SUCCESS STORY!!
IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU, TRULY!!! 🤍🤍 don't thank me, YOU got yourself into the void, you just applied <33 also i literally love Wonyoung she’s so pretty and confident, so shes motivating for me! i’m so happy you have your desired appearance and are able to get into the void more often, let me know whatever else you choose to manifest, i love you!!!
@gorgeouslypink !!
@voidsuccessarchive @voidsuccess
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cher-rei · 4 months
Text
afterglow- pt.1 [ T.A.A ]
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pairings: trent alexander arnold x femreader
summary: young and aspiring marketing and business major jamie carter (you) is privileged with working alongside the liverpool marketing and public relations team while also getting entangled with their star player and right back, trent alexander arnold.
[wc: 2.6k] [part 2] [part 3 ] [part 4] [part 5] [part 6] [part 7] [part 8]
genre(s): friends?? to lovers, work romance, fluff
notes: I've had this idea on my mind for months but I had no idea how to execute it at all. also instead of using the y/n insert, I gave the character a name even though it is read from your pov. It just made it easier to write lmao
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"ms carter?"
your heart dropped at the sound of your name being called by an unfamiliar voice, which was something you were going to have to get used to. nonetheless, you turned around to see an older man approaching you with a warm smile and something in his hand.
when he got close enough he put out his hand and you politely shook it as a greeting, still not sure who you were talking to. before you could speak up however, you were interrupted by something being put in your hand.
"this is your staff id," the older man said and you took a closer look at the lanyard in your hand. the picture you had taken less than a few weeks ago was set neatly inside with your name, and position.
carter, jaime
[public relations manager- social media and marketing department]
public relations manager. those three words were enough to make you feel light headed.
you liked to think that your employment on liverpool fc's marketing team was nothing but pure luck. from the moment you handed in your resume for your university final year internship out of pure whim, then to you getting accepted for whatever reason until you got the email no less than a month after graduation asking you to come in for an interview.
all that lead up to the moment you were currently in. standing in the middle of the empty anfield stadium that you had visited for nearly every home game since you were a child. it was nothing but pure luck.
you were broken out of your daze by the older man chuckling about something, which showed that you hadn't heard a single word he said during the past five minutes. you mustered up a smile regardless to play it off and proceeded to follow him for what you thought was a building tour.
"I just realised that I never properly introduced myself," he laughed dryly and gestured for you to step into the tunnel before him. "I'm billy hogan- chief executive officer and I'm ever so sorry for being in a rush right now but I'd like you to be at the training center within the next 30 minutes."
your eyes widened in shock, your feet absentmindedly picking up its pace while hogan continued to speed through the building tour, leaving no room for questions but you decided to make a mental note to ask someone else when you got the chance.
you were escorted to the black s.u.v along with hogan immediately, running through the hundreds of questions you had at the moment. you know you only had room for one though before he was on another phone call.
"uhm sir-"
"yes ms carter?" the older man addressed without trailing his gaze from his cellphone screen or the pile of documents in front of him.
oh gosh.
you managed to clear your throat. "I'm not too sure why I'll be needed at the training center. shouldn't I be in the office or..."
when he heard you start to trail off, hogan shut the folder in his lap and turned to look at you with an expression you couldn't quite read. there was a moment of awkward silence that passed between the two of you in the backseat of the s.u.v, the driver not paying any mind to the conversation.
"our last marketing manager had to be fired because we found out that he was leaking information out to reporters and news broadcasters along with four other employees."
oh shit.
you shuffled in your seat as you tried to think of a response to the news but whenever you parted your lips to say something hogan would raise his finger as a sign that he wasn't done talking. so you swallowed the bitter taste in your mouth along with any comments and listened intently.
did it sound like he was targeting you and bordelined threatening you? yes, yes it did. but you were sure he meant well and was only trying to bring his point across.
"we're low on staff and that's why you were handed two very crucial roles and are expected to make up for the losses. you'll be working alongside the team as you read in the contract," he began once again with a knowing look which made your stomach drop.
because you didn't read the contract. not fully at least. your older sister was the one who urged you to sign it the second it was sent to your house. hell, it could've stated that you were required to donate an organ and you wouldn't have known all because your were too excited and didn't spare anything a second glance.
"but why didn't you just promote people that were already in the department instead of giving me the position straight away?"
hogan let out a dry chuckle and tended to his phone once again, not looking back at you. "because nobody else wanted the position. it's dangerous up there ms carter. so you may feel important right now, but if you can't handle the workload and expectations it's going to get messy."
well this is news to me.
to sum up hogan's lecture and recital of the contract off by heart, you were in fact set up to be working alongside the team as a higher ranking media representative because there needed to be more field work done. no pun intended.
but the fact that nobody else was up for the position didn't sit right with you.
"just make sure they look good for the camera and keep everyone entertained. you're an influencer yourself, so I'm entrusting you to keep everything in order. you were hired because you are young and are in the game already. so keep yourself level-headed and do your best."
no pressure I guess??
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deciding to wear sneakers instead of heels today was by the far the best decision you've made in weeks. the weather in liverpool during september was nothing short of horrid. when you stepped out of the car your face was immediately hit with the harsh and crisp air that reminded you why you spent majority of your time indoors.
"welcome to our axa training center," hogan gestured to the building in front of you, it's ceiling to floor windows having you gawking in awe. "this is where you'll be spending a good amount of your time, but it's not as bad as it seems I promise."
what's so bad about watching a bunch of professional football players train half naked?
unlike your last building tour, hogan actually took his time showing you around this time. from the lobby, breakroom, staff rooms, gym and finally to the field where the team was out practicing-- or at least that's what you thought was happening judging by all the screaming.
the second you stepped foot out onto the field, klopp turned to look at you with a welcoming smile.
did he just sense my presence??
you felt frozen in your spot, the world had practically stopped spinning the second he called you and hogan over. when you made it over he halted his conversation with the person beside him to shake your hand.
"it's lovely to finally meet you ms carter," the team's manager politely greeted and it took every single nerve in your body for you to not do something stupid.
you bashfully laughed and brushed his comment off, "if anything, the pleasure is mine. I am extremely honoured to be working in this position."
after a few moments of getting to know each other and klopp giving you a bit of an idea of what he expected media-wise, you realised that you had work cut out for you, judging by klopp saying, "think of this as your second family. the team needs something different, and you ms carter, are exactly the home improvement that we need."
you felt like the weight of the world had just been put on your shoulders again, and his tone of utter sincerity wasn't making it any less pressurising. of course you wanted to do well and give your all into this role but it was going to take a bit of time getting used to.
I should have read that damn contract.
"would you like to meet the team?" klopp asked with a smile and lightly patted your shoulder.
the gesture alone was enough to render you speechless, and you weren't quite sure if you heard him correctly. "would I like to do what?"
"boys!"
your eyes widened in shock as he called the team over. you didn't know what to do or say, your fight or flight mode had nearly been activated and you swore you were about to sprint out of the training center, all the way back home.
you anxiously fiddled with your fingers, not knowing what to do with your hands as you watched the group of soccer players head your way with little to no care to which klopp gave you a reassuring pat on the shoulder. "don't worry, they won't bite."
you mustered up an awkward laugh, muttering under your breath as you mentally prepared yourself for the moment. you obviously hadn't met any of them before, the closest you had gotten was going to the stadium to watch their matches.
the closest you had gotten to any interaction with any professional soccer player in general however, would be at the beginning of the year when jude bellingham followed you back on Instagram. which was still the best day of your life up to date.
you were awestruck, words unable to form as they all huddled up in front of you. you could see the sweat beading on their foreheads which caused a shiver to travel down your spine.
"boys this is ms jaime carter." klopp gestured to you and you managed a small wave, trying to ignore the sound of your heart beating in your ears. "she'll be working with us from now on, as manager of the pr manager for both the marketing and social media departments."
you were greeted with a choir of 'hello's' and listened to klopp give everyone the run-down and a little enlightenment into the situation regarding the last bundle of staff that had to be cut off so abruptly.
"pfft, snitches."
you head turned to look in the direction of the comment, that was immediately reprimanded.
"curtis," klopp started and the soccer player pursed his lips apologetically.
"sorry boss."
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"aren't you a little too young to be the manager of two departments?"
your eyebrows raised at the question from harvey. klopp and hogan had to attend to a last minute call from the clubs directors so you were left with the team to "get to know each other", but most of them got back to training which left you with harvey, curtis and trent.
you shifted your weight to your right leg, your head tilting to the side challengingly as you eyed the boy. "well you're younger than i am and playing professional football. what does me being a pr manager make any difference?"
trent and curtis couldn't help but snicker at your counter, jokingly mocking their younger teammate until he got visibly irritated.
"you can't deny us the right to laugh at you," trent said jokingly and kicked the ball to harvey, who passed it to cutis again.
their banter went on for a few minutes as you watched the ball pass between the three of them until harvey spoke up again.
"you're straight out of university though so--"
his sentence was cut off by someone yelling, "ball!", to which you all instinctively looked up only to realise a little to late that it was headed in your direction.
shit.
you backed away just in time to get the ball before it hit the ground. the second it came into contact with your foot, you sent it back virgil's way to which he gave you a smile.
a familiar feeling stired up in your stomach after, but you pushed it aside and for back to your train of thought. "and you're straight out of high-school. so i rest my case."
a moment of silence took over, trent and curtis both shifting their gazes from you and all the way over to virgil who was over at the goal post.
harvey was taking the moment to recollect your high school comment. it was because he was short wasn't it? that's all people had to throw at him these days.
it was trent's turn to speak up, his eyebrows raised while curtis muttered to himself about the distance or something like that. "have you played before?"
before you could answer, your name was being called by hogan since it was time to get back to the office building. you huffed out a breath and sent the three boys a smile.
"looks like today's 'q and a' was cut short." you took a few steps back, stuffing your hands into the pockets of your puffer jacket. "you might as well stock them up for next time. I'll be more than happy to feed your curious minds."
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sunraies · 1 year
Note
OH I LOVE YOUR WORKS SM I REALLY READ THEM EVERY DAY ITS A ROUTINE TO ME
my request is kook!reader who gets along with Camerons very well. tutores to Wheez, gives her old study notes to Sarah, chit chats with Rose etc. and Rafe is adoring her. but they have some problems lately like Rafe's friends behaviours or Rafe's addiction or something about her idk really. and all these little problems becomes a big one and they finally have a fight. BIG. at Camerons. Wheez worrying, Rose is confused and Sarah is like 'finally, Rafe dont deserve you.' idk end however you want.
actually to me FULL ANGST. but however you want to end it honey. whether fluff or angst i am sure id love it. love you.
Oh my god! You are gotta make me cry 😭😭😭🥰. I love you too x
I hope this does your request justice. I tried to make it angst filled, but I'm such a fluff girl!
Goodbye
Rafe Cameron x Kook!Reader
Warnings - Angst. Some fluff. Drug, alcohol and addict behaviour.
Your lifelong friendship with Rafe started to break slowly, but when he learns that you are leaving, it hits breaking point.
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-**-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
You spent as much time at the Cameron's as you did your own home, if not more. Your family lived next door, having moved there when you were young. Being neighbours meant growing up closely together and having Rafe Cameron as a best friend was a rollercoaster.
From the moment you first met Rafe, he adored you. The little blue-eyed boy with a wicked smile didn't know what hit him, literally. One minute, he was pulling your hair, and the next, you were punching him in the stomach. When questioned what happened, neither ratted the other out. It was you and Rafe against the world.
As you grew, you were always there for each other. He was there for you when Hank Harrison broke your heart and you were there for him when his mother left, leaving behind a broken Rafe, a small Sarah and baby Wheezie.
Your lives were tangled and waver together so tightly that you never thought it would break.
It started to fray after senior year. With the pressure of the future, you noticed a change in Rafe.
He had always loved partying hard, the girls and the booze, but no matter how far he took it, it never affected his daily life or how he treated you. You were his VIP guest to every party. It wasn't until he met Barry and a friend in the form of white powder that you had your first small fight.
You had been dancing with Sarah most of the night, having a good time until you became tired. You found Rafe surrounded by people, some you knew like Topper and Kelce but others you didn't. He was trying to convince Topper to take his first bump.
"Rafe," you called over the pounding music. He frowned before giving you a lopsided smile and pulling you into his lap, earning a few glares from the girls sitting around him.
"There's my girl." He grinned and wrapped you in his arms. "I missed you,"
With you, he didn't care if people saw him soft. You were his sweet other half. You brought out the softer side in him. He never admitted it to you, but he was sure he had loved you since the age of 5.
"I have been here all night," you said softly, seeing his pupils blown so wide, broke your heart a little. "I was coming to say goodbye,"
"Goodbye?" He frowned as you ran your hand through his hair, making him sigh. "The party's just started,"
"It's 3am."
"Stay, have some of the good stuff." He offered you a sip of his beer before grabbing a rolled up bill for you.
"Rafe, I don't want that,"
He groaned and loosened his grip on you, rolling his eyes and throwing his head back "Don't be so fucking boring"
"Good night, Rafe," you whispered, moving out of his lap and heading for the door. You heard him calling after you, but you didn't go back.
▪︎•▪︎•▪︎
The next slightly bigger argument you had was when you and Wheezie found him, drunk and high in the kitchen. You had been over to help Wheeze with her French homework. Being completely flunt, you were the best person to help.
You had gone to the kitchen for snacks, finding Rafe stumbling, slamming cabinet doors as he muttered away to himself. Something about hidden money, that his dad must have a stash hidden in the kitchen.
Ward had stashes in every room of the house, and you were sure of it but never thought of looking into the theory.
"Rafe?" Wheezie asked softly. He span around to her and sighed.
"Have you seen any of the money, dad hides?" He asked but Wheeze shook her head "Fuck"
"Why do you need it?"
"Cause, I fucked up Wheeze" He groaned "I fucked up big time!" He took a swig of the open whiskey bottle from the counter top before offering her some.
"Did you really just offer me, booze?" Wheezie frowned. "I'm 13"
"Shit, god. I'm sorry, Wheeze." He covered his eyes with his hands and groaned again. "I'm so fucked, but I'm gonna fix it"
"Go upstairs, Wheeze. I'll be up in a minute. " You fixed one of her braids, and you watched as she hurried up the stairs before turning back to Rafe.
"What you do this time?" You asked, arms folded as he looked over at you. It was like he had just noticed you were there.
"Why does it have to be something I did?" He asked, frowning as he took a drink again
"Is it Barry again?"
He laughed "No it's not fucking Barry. Just get off my case"
"Rafe, you just told your 13 year old sister, that you need money and offered her whiskey" You pointed out "Now tell me what the fuck the problem is"
He looked you up and down. "My sister. Exactly. It's a family problem. Don't worry yourself over something that isn't your business"
You tried not to take it to heart. He was hiding the fact that he was in trouble by cutting you out. It wasn't the first time he'd been in debt to Barry, but it was the first time he didn't admit it to you.
"Rafe" Wheezie whispered from the door way. She had a small bundle of dollar bills in her hand "Will this help? It's all I've got for now"
She received a small allowance from Ward, something all the Cameron kids had. Being the youngest, she didn't get as much, but she saved it all, claiming she wanted to buy her own first car.
"Shit," Rafe muttered as he suddenly broke down in front of you both.
You hurried over to him and cradled his head to your chest as he sobbed. Poor Wheezie stood helpless as she watched her big brother crumble in your arms.
Later, you found out that all the money Rafe paid Barry back had been stolen by Sarah. You hoped that day would be a wake-up call to make him stop, but it only got worse.
▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎
You hadn't seen Rafe for a few weeks when you sat in the Cameron's kitchen, munching grapes as you sat on the kitchen island, speaking to Rose as she made a pot of coffee.
"I'm so proud of you." She smiled. "I can't believe our girl is going to Paris!"
You smiled back. You had come round to pick up Sarah for a shopping spree and told Rose the news that you had been accepted to a collage in Paris.
"I can't believe it either." You popped a grape in your mouth. "I honestly didn't think I would get in."
"Of course you would. I mean, look at you. They would have been stupid, not too. "
"Not to, what?" Rafe stumbled into the kitchen, his hair messy from sleep as he wore only sweatpants, he smelt strongly of the night before and had a light sweat on his brow, clearing in the middle of a come down.
"Not accept her to their collage." Rose smiled as the kettle boiled.
Rafe nodded and grunted as he grabbed a cup before he paused. "Collage? What fucking collage?"
You had told him a million times that your dream was to go to Paris. Collage was the perfect way to have the chance to live there.
"Paris," Rose answered, slightly oblivious to the tension building in the room. You flinched as Rafe dropped his cup down, harder than needed on the side.
"Paris?"
"Yes, Rafe. Paris, " You muttered. It was meant to be the most exciting news to share with him, but with the way things had been, you hadn't got the chance.
He stared at you as you stared back. He was waiting for the punch line. It had to be a joke. You were leaving him.
"Rose? Have you seen my white Converse?" Wheezie asked as she entered the kitchen before looking between you and Rafe.
"No, honey. Maybe in the sunroom?" Rose suggested before going to look with her.
"Fucking Paris?" Rafe frowned
"Yes, Rafe fucking Paris" You said back, in a even tone.
"So you were just going to up and leave me?"
"No, I told you about this before. Not that I'd been accepted, but I've been wanting to go all year"
Soon, you were yelling at each other so loudly everyone in the house could hear.
"Just fuck off to Paris, then!" He yelled "I don't fucking need you anymore! Always dragging me down!"
"Oh, I'm planning too!" You snapped back. "Sorry to have been such a downer. I'll be gone in no time!"
"Good! I'll be fucking free!"
"So free! Have fun fucking the girl you have up stairs!"
"Wow. Jealous?!"
"Nothing to be jealous of," you said calmly. You never insulted him back before. Normally ending the arguments quickly but this time you were done "Just a drunk, drugged up dickhead"
He stared at you, "Fuck off" He muttered
"That's the plan." You didn't want to leave him behind, but you needed to go after your own future.
"Ready to go?" Sarah asked, looking between you. The looks you were throwing it each were deadly.
"Yeah. I'm done here." You pushed yourself off the island and left Rafe to watch you go, smashing the cup against the countertop after you left.
▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎
You checked your passport, ticket, and flight number three times as you stood with your family and the Camerons, minus Rafe. Everyone hugged you goodbye. You subconsciously glanced around as you had the heavy feeling of something missing.
"You don't need him here," Sarah said softly as she pulled back from a long hug. "I'm sorry, I know you want him here. But you don't need him."
You nodded, knowing she was right. You didn't need the Rafe you'd seen recently, but part of you wished you had your Rafe there.
The one who gave your first kiss when you were worried you would never get one. The one who snuck into your room with your favourite ice cream after punching Hank Harrison and spent hours holding you. The one who checked in on you at parties. The one who took you to prom, claiming he was the only date worthy of you. You knew he'd threatened anyone who tried asking you, but at the time, you didn't care. You had your Rafe.
After a long goodbye and a final call for your flight, you made your way to the gate when you heard him calling your name over the sound of the music in your earphones.
You frowned, turning around slowly as Rafe Cameron ran towards you. He was completely out of breath when he made it to you, but he looked different.
His eyes were clearer, those gorgeous ocean blue again. He smelt of his cologne and not of the night before.
"Don't you dare tell me not to go." As a part of you was happy to see him, another was worried.
He shook his head and gently grabbed your arms. "No, no. I would never"
You raised an eyebrow at him. "I'm going to miss my flight."
"I'll make it quick. I promise." He moved his hands to your cheeks when you didn't move away from his touch.
"What is it?"
"I couldn't let you go without saying goodbye," He whispered before slowly moving closer to you. "I'm so sorry, baby."
You sighed softly and nodded. Your heart rapidly beating in your chest.
"I have to go," you whispered, but you made no move to leave as they announced your flight again.
"I know, I know." He breathed as his lips made contact with yours.
You whimpered against him, unable to control it before deepening the kiss. The airline announcing they were on last check-in broke you apart.
"I love you," He whispered against your lips
"I know, I know." You breathed, pulled back. "I love you too."
"Go on, baby." He smiled, nodding towards your gate as the last few people walked through the doors.
You gave him a quick kiss again before hurrying away. Leaving him to watch you go with a smile on his face.
Just as you were setting your phone to airplane mode, you received a message:
'I'm getting clean. I mean it this time. I love you, I'm sorry I didn't say it before. I promise you, baby. I'll see you in week' Rafe sent a picture of a plane ticket he just purchased.
964 notes · View notes
r0ttenhearts · 11 months
Text
Friends?
Scaramouche x Best friend! Reader
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angst, no comfort, insults
a bright, summer afternoon. the blazing heat outside of the cooled windows as the cicadas hummed in the unforgiving warm air. but there you were, sitting on scaramouches bed next to him, tapping away at your handheld game as you talked to him. you two had been friends since the start of the previous school year. your sweet smiles and kind gestures moved him, or you hoped they did, as he spoke with you the most in class until it turned to after school study sessions, and eventually just hanging out at each others homes when school was over.
as cruel as scaramouche could be, you found yourself falling for him. the rare smiles he’d give you, or his kind words that were few and far between. it meant more to you than you expected. you figured you were cracking through his tough shell, as he didn’t seem to mind spending time together over the break. or so you thought.
“haypasia is back in town. i thought i’d go see her so i don’t think you can come over for awhile.”
oh right. haypasia. the very bane of your existence. it seemed like every time she was around, scara would leave you to be forgotten. a second thought. sure she knew scara for longer, but did she really know him like you did? no, of course she didn’t, because she was never around. but you were. scaramouche would complain to you about her obsessive antics, how annoying she was and how bothersome she could be, only for him to defend her if you got upset with him about spending too much time together.
“oh.. when will you go see her?” you ask quietly, your voice cracking as you feel that oh so familiar lump in your throat. scaramouche glances at you from above his screen, scoffing and a look of disbelief on his face. “seriously y/n? you’re still so upset about her? what’s your deal?”
you shake your head as you put down your game. your hair covering your face as you don’t face him. you can’t. if you do you’ll break, and you know it. “i just.. i wish you wouldn’t go away for days at a time when she’s around.. you’re my best friend you know? and it hurts to realize that you pick someone over me, someone that doesn’t even stay.” you confess, your hands starting to shake as you can feel his eyes bore into your shaking form.
you can hear him scoff beside you as he sits up, “best friends? we’re friends. actually, we’re hardly even friends because i barely even like you.
you dont shut the fuck up you never do.
you make up lies in your head cause you think i like you but you delusional-ly believe i wouldn’t ever talk to other people and god forbid it be a girl.
oh and you're gonna switch it around saying the reverse about how id care when we all know damn well you could get beat in an alleyway and the most you'd get out of me is a "sorry to hear that.”
he gives you the meanest glare as you stand up from his bed as he shoves you against his bedroom door. fat tears roll down your cheeks as he grips your chin, forcing you to look into his dulled, purple eyes.
“no, tell me im wrong. tell me i dont know what im talking about. god youre so fucking stupid.”
he spits as he lets go of your chin, opening the door as you stumble out. he slams his door shut as you stand there in tears. you loved him? you loved him after he told you how he doesn’t care for you? how pathetic could you be. how could you care so deeply for someone that wouldn’t ever look at you, not even in a friendly way?
with his words ringing through your head, you gather your belongings as you leave his home. your game left forgotten on his bed, wishing to never return or face him again.
————————-
a/n: based on a very real argument with my best friend. a little self indulgent but this was a comfort post. thanks for reading!
part II:
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leclsrc · 6 months
Note
hi auds!! it's my birthday today ;) i never send reqs i know you get a whole ton of them but if you ever got around to this- i think the f1 fic world has a very worrying lack of aus. so could i get a band!charles au drabble where he writes a song about reader and she hears it on the radio? any song you like. reader could be driver or something or connected to f1 if thats cool !!! thank you sm!! i love you
knee socks – cl16
There’s a certain inevitability that comes with having sex with a misaligned, conceited lead guitarist of a band. You aren’t aware of this fact until it hits you in-between your brows with the force of an 18-wheeler truck, at 8AM, through the radio in your car.
genre: drabble... lots of smutty allusions
auds here... happy birthday anon, one month and then some later! to be completely honest i almost deleted this... but through some twist of fate, it was the only thing i could bully into completion lol (aside frm long form fics that i'm still working on) this is 1000% for u and i hope u accept it as a belated bday gift :) i agree btw! id love to see more au fics but it is still nice reading the canon compliant type ones hahah. also the song in this and its and title is of course from this
It was surprising enough to hear an announcement of a new single by The Incident, one that seemingly sprouted out of nowhere, sans promotion. The morning BBC show clobbered the song with theories before finally letting the drawled-out, sticky guitar filter through and into your car. That in itself was odd, sure. Maybe shocking a little. But you leaned into the leather seat and remained quiet.
When you were fifteen, you were convinced the lyrics to Hall & Oates’ “Rich Girl” pinned up perfectly to your (insufferable) personality of the time. Raised in a big family and working in a career of refined prestige, your budding skill and already-cemented name in the modeling industry were just two small indicators of your parents’ massive wealth. Of course, neither Hall nor Oates were actually sitting and writing songs and singing about you—you just found it made sense in one way or another.
That was three years before you met Charles three years ago, at a pub in Soho. His band had only just spilled out of the confines of Soundcloud and seedy managers; they’d broken five million monthly listeners and the throng of people were there to watch them live. You were at the pub for a pint with another friend and left him with your number, a slip of paper tinged with beer; he fished out the nearest surface you could write on from a nearby bowl. Do I Wanna Know? it read in rushed cursive. It was a song request that went unfulfilled.
Rumors flew in your circle. Your father soured at the idea of you seeing somebody he wasn’t actively doing business with, but he failed to realize how limited your dating pool would be if you followed his wishes. Your interactions with the Formula One men he sponsored or worked with, however few and far between, were rancid and impolite. The drivers wore expensive brands, ones that didn’t even fall familiar on people’s ears, but refused to tip beyond three pounds. It came as both a shock and no surprise that the nouveau rich rock singer treated you with more decency than any of them did.
He was shy about it first, knowing how filthy rich you were. He made jokes about how his flat could fit in your kitchen twice over. He spoke what little French he remembered from childhood to impress you, paid for takeout, wore Lacoste when he came over to drink—then fuck—because it was, at the time, the most decent brand he owned. It’d been January when he came over, caught a sight of you at the foyer with all your expensive coats hung up. Your tongue was blue with a lozenge. It was the only thing he could look at while fucking you.
He wore a light blue variant once, fit and snug on him. You wrestled it off him in-between hot, sweet kisses, kept it on your bed so it’d be the first thing you tugged on in the morning before a shoot for a brand you can no longer place.
The last time you saw him he’d shown you lyrics, sang them aloud, drummed the beat he thought of on the skin of your thigh. His accent disappeared into rasp and notes. You told him to perform it live and he fucked you splayed up against your door, bent over your counter, then with your knees pressed to your chest on your white sheets, warm from the laundry. S’good for me, aren’t you, princess? All for me. My filthy girl.
Two hours later: I’m going on tour, sweetheart, he’d said while he cleaned you up.
’Til? Or… like, for long? Naked, you wrapped your blanket around your frame.
Ah, oui. For a while. 
You failed to answer amicably, your eyebrows twisting. You didn’t think to tell me? Just up and leave then? No number, no text, no announcement, just— You exhaled tightly. You knew he didn’t owe you anything of the sort; the sex, you guessed, the company had been so good you’d deluded yourself into thinking so.
Kitten—
Don’t call me that, you huffed, angrier now. Petulant. You got up and crowded him ’til you got to the door. Get the fuck out.
You watched him leave, brown leather jacket and black tee disappearing into London, and wrenched memories of him from the depths of your brain, the two years of your back and forth rendezvous. You wondered why you didn’t get a song in that time, after his ascent to fame, after the release of other hit singles inspired by his bandmates’ gossip rags and measly shags.
So a year later, when the memories have just begun to purge themselves—when the lyrics, which already have sent a swoop through your stomach, progress into the line When you walked around your house wearin' my sky blue Lacoste… and your knee socks, you effectively choke on your a.m. cappucino. It’s like “Rich Girl” all over again, but this is overt, it’s targeted. Like whoever wrote it must’ve known you’d be listening right now, en route to a shoot at eight in the morning.
“All good, miss?” Ed, your chauffeur, meets your eyes in the rearview, concerned.
“Perf—” your voice cracks. “Perfect.”
You screw your eyes shut and try to collect yourself, zeroing in on the lyrics that’d been foggy before.
Curing his January blues—the month you two started sleeping together.The fact that he’d had your number, a famous stranger, before you had his. Every beat, every word, every deep-voiced lyric traces back to you (unless, of course, he’s busying himself shagging any other girl in London on rainy Tuesdays and letting her wear his now-old polos. The thought sends a pang of jealousy through you.)
But you know better. You know you’re the only one.
Because your phone’s the only one buzzing late into the damp night—when the zeroes line up on the clock by your bed, the one he fixed up for you—with a number you’ve removed the name of, blocked at some point, but can still memorize in his absence.
Maybe tonight you’ll pick up.
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carcarcraziiv2 · 5 months
Note
Hello!! Just found your blog recently and your bf scenarios of heartsteel members were endearing to read!! Id like to request a scenario of f reader was a childhood friend of kayn and reader always been tbere for him even if he got kicked out of the band multiple times, reader will always support him because hes number 1 in her heart , there can be angst n fluff or whichever, take your time and thank you!!
Thanks so much for your request! I am WAY excited about getting one haha!
This prompt is simply great. I LOVE the idea of Kayn having a ride or die from childhood! Here it goes!
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TW- Fluff, angst, kissing, suggestive themes kinda???. Enter at your own risk!
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You had always admired Kayn.
Even when he is hot headed, when he lacks in confidence, you were, and always will be, there.
It all started when the two of you were in grade school. Kayn was often getting into little tiffs on the playground, and you made it a personal challenge to engage with him and try to make him a little happier.
"Hey, Kayn, right? It's good to meetcha. I was wondering if you wanted to play tag with me?" You had said, twiddling your thumbs and smiling shyly at him.
The little boy glared at you for a moment. Right as you were about to lose hope and turn away, it appeared something had switched in his brain.
"Sure, but no cheating!"
From that day forward, the two of you were like peas in a pod. Kayn was everchanging, as were you.
Eventually, Kayn developed some kind of alter ego he called Rhaast. You didn't really understand it. All you knew was that when he switched, someone was going to get hurt or something was going to happen.
Kayn was never really a sensitive or open person in a traditional sense. The two of you had off and on flings throughout middle and high school, until Kayn got into the band and party scene. You never gave up on your friendship, though.
There had been a few bands before the most recent. You went to all of their shows, accompanied him when he went to his little (mostly unsuccessful) meet and greets.
He was always so protective of you. If there was ever someone who was coming onto you or making you feel uncomfortable at a show, he would literally get off stage in the middle of a set and teach the person a lesson. You couldn't help but admire the way his dark pink hair brushed across his face as he prowled over to you to face the culprit. It made you blush, thinking of how he handled these situations.
One day, after a busy day at work, you got home to see Kayn sitting on the couch at your apartment looking wholly defeated.
"Oh, I wasn't expecting to see you here," you had said, your brow furrowed as you approached him. "Whatcha up to?"
"I don't want to talk," was all he said as you sat next to him. It was hard to accept that as an answer, so you pushed him just enough to get a reason.
"Well, you're sitting on my couch looking really upset. What happened?"
"I said I don't want to-," he looked at you swiftly, his nostrils flared and eyes angry. You knew Rhaast was close to the surface, but you held strong because you knew Kayn liked it when you stood up for yourself, even to him. He sighed when he saw the determined look in your eye. "Fine, I got kicked out of the band."
"Oh!" You exclaimed, shocked because it seemed like everything had been going really well for him and who you thought were his friends. They had done a couple shows, mostly just hanging out and jamming together. "What happened, Shadow?" He sighed again, a tad bit more dramatically, when you used his nickname. You had called him that ever since middle school when you would find him sulking in dark places like a weirdo.
"Well, apparently the guys don't like pranks. It was out of character for me to pull one, sure, but I didn't think a little 'poop on fire at your door' gag would piss them off so much. Whatever, I don't need them."
You tried and failed to hold back a laugh at his admitted fault. He looked back at you with his mismatched eyes and his lips quirked upward ever so slightly.
"Oh, Kayn, I'm so sorry. I don't mean to laugh but that is honestly really funny! I thought you all were chill; I'm surprised a stupid prank like that got them so riled up." Without realizing it, you reached up to adjust a piece of his hair that had fallen in front of his eyes while you let out another soft chuckle. You quickly snatched your hand away, mouth closing and eyes widening.
Kayn looked at you with a shocked expression for a moment, before he did something that made your heart race just like all the times previously when you two had dated. He leaned in and kissed you gently on the lips.
"Thank you, Y/N, for making me realize how funny I truly am," he smirked, clearly trying to adjust the topic from the kiss that had just happened.
That day, things had been different between the two of you. You weren't sure if it was because it was the first time the two of you had kissed in your adulthood, or if it was because you realized he chose your place to go to when he was feeling down.
It made you feel warm and fuzzy inside.
Your usual hangouts had turned into you stumbling over your words, blushing when he did anything remotely attractive, and overall, just a little more awkward.
It didn't take long for Kayn to find a new band, after that. You were excited to meet all of his new bandmates; Ezreal, Sett, Aphelios, Yone, and K'Sante. They were all sweethearts, and you couldn't help but think that this might be the band.
They named their band Heartsteel, and you were awestruck at how popular they became and how quickly. With that, of course, came consequences.
Every show, event, even just strolling through stores together, there were paparazzi and fans jumping all over Kayn. Inevitably, this drove a wedge between the two of you. He became so busy all of the time, and it was hard to find a moment for the two of you to see each other.
Back to present, you are working your usual nine to five office job. It's boring, but it pays the bills. You get to see all the fancy magazine articles and covers that Kayn and his band are in. You get to hear all of the stupid annoying girls at your office giggle and talk about how hot they all are.
You huff when one of them walks by your desk, joking about how she'd "do anything to get into Kayn's bed".
I bet you would. You thought. Unbeknownst to her, you had been in Kayn's bed, more than once in fact. Never daring to say anything about your relation to him in fear of being shut down or gaining too much attention, you just did your best to ignore it all.
The day was finally reaching its end when your phone vibrated in your purse. You opened it to see a text from Yone.
Hey, Y/N. It's Yone.
Oh, hey Yone. What's up?
Kayn is having some sort of... well, he's really upset right now, and he just keeps asking to see you. He doesn't sound like himself. Can I come get you and bring you over here?
You raise a brow at the message on your screen. It had been at least a month since the last time the two of you had spoken, as it was like pulling teeth to get Kayn to answer a text or a phone call in the first place, let alone now.
Don't worry about picking me up, I'll head over there now.
You quickly gathered your belongings and let your boss know you were heading out ten minutes early. Bidding your farewells, you left the building and climbed into your car. You took your heels off, adjusting your skirt so that your ass didn't stick to the leather as you flung your purse into the passenger seat.
A million thoughts raced through your mind, but one thing you were certain of. When you got there, that wasn't going to be Kayn.
It was going to be Rhaast.
The drive was about an hour, and when you pulled through the iron gates after inputting your code, Yone and Aphelios were waiting outside looking at their phones.
You put your car in park, put your shoes back on and quickly got out and speed-walked up to them.
"Hey guys, sorry it took me so lo-."
"No time for small talk, let's go," Yone all but dragged you through the door of the house they shared, leading you down a long hallway to the small practice and recording studio they put in. He didn't release your elbow until the two of you were standing right in front of the door, and he turned to look at you.
"I hate to say it but, be careful. He's acting a little...," Yone trailed off, as if trying to find a way to describe it.
"Manic? Crazy? Off the rails? Yeah, don't worry, I got this," You smiled politely at him, pushing him softly out of the way and opening the door to the room.
Contrary to your feigned confidence, your heart was beating out of your chest. What you saw when you entered had it racing even more.
Kayn was standing against the wall with no shirt, his arms crossed, smoking a cigarette. When he looked up and caught your gaze, his mouth turned up in a devilish grin. You hadn't realized it, but your mouth was dangling open as you ogled him.
His hair was damp from sweat, his muscles rigid as he stared back at you.
"Y/N, finally, you're here!" He greeted you, pushing himself off the wall and walking your direction after pinching the cherry off his smoke. Contrary to what you were thinking was going to happen, he walked past you and shut the door.
You blinked in shock when you heard the click of a lock.
"What's going on, Kayn?" your voice trembled as you asked, but you squared your shoulders and raised your chin none the less.
"Tsk tsk tsk, is that how you greet your best friend?" He murmurs, coming up behind you and wrapping his large arms around you. "I've missed you, Y/N."
You shuddered in his grasp before looking around the room with a sigh. "Is that why you trashed the studio? Because you missed me?"
He nuzzled his face into your neck and breathed in deeply, causing goosebumps to raise all over.
"Yes," he stated plainly. You weren't even surprised in his nonchalance about it. "Everything has been so overwhelming, lately. It doesn't take much for me to snap anymore, but when I see you all of those problems seem to melt away...". You were surprised, however, at how open he was being as soon as you got there. Kayn was never one to open up without a fight first. Perhaps the fight had already happened within himself.
You turned around in his arms to face him, looking up at him with a weak smile.
"I've missed you too, Shadow. I've got to admit, I don't like all the attention you're getting from girls either," you sigh. The vulnerability he approached you with must have been rubbing off. You didn't mind though. It was time for you to tell him how you really feel. "Kayn, I- I want to be-".
"Can you just be mine, already?" He interrupts, his eyes locked to yours. "I want you. I want every part of you. Nothing... Nothing feels right when you're not with me. The girls, the shows, none of it. So can you please please be mine?"
"I always have been, Shadow. And I always will be," leaning up, you place a kiss on his mouth. Retreating, you only get a moment before he slams his lips back onto your own, and you let out a little moan in acceptance.
"Always." He growls against your lips, and you know for once in all the time you've been his number one fan, that this time is forever.
The end :3
I kind of just went with the flow on this one. Hope you enjoyed!
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scarasbaefy · 1 year
Text
linger
chars; scaramouche/wanderer
; fem reader, angst
note; I AM NEW TO THIS !! i neefd more angst i love angst so im doing it myself. emoly if u see this, HI !!!
sitting on the bed you shared with your “husband” is all you seemed to do these past few months. scaramouche is rarely ever home. when he is, he doesn’t even bother to greet you. not a smile on his face, and no word is exchanged between you. there hasn’t been any intimacy either. no kisses, no loving touches.
“why don't you just leave him? it’s obvious you’re miserable.” tartaglia said as he seen you walk out the infirmary. he had no idea what he was talking about. he doesn't even know the feeling of loving someone so much that you don’t want to let go. “i love him.” you stated, no emotion present in your voice. who can blame you? you were in a loveless relationship. tartaglia felt bad for you but didn’t say anything more. you stared at his back, watching him as he continued to walk down the hall. everyone was worried sick at your depressed state, except of course scaramouche.
tartaglias words lingered in your mind. maybe it wouldn’t hurt to ask scaramouche why he was acting this way towards you. was it the girl everyone had been talking about? you’d occasionally hear other harbingers talk about a mysterious traveler ruining their plans. 
you walked back to your room with the mystery girl in your mind. sometimes you would read reports from scaramouches missions that had been mailed in for filing. the way he wrote about her and complimented her skills made you slightly jealous. ‘it’s okay,” you told yourself, “soon, she’ll be the furthest thing from his mind!”
before him becoming distant, he would talk to you with the happiest look on his face. he would bring you gifts and strike down anyone who dared to look at you the wrong way, never failing to bring butterflies to your stomach. the memories of the past made you tear up. “i miss my husband.” you whispered as you rubbed your stomach, trying to soothe the sudden cramp you had been getting for a while now.
“i’m right here. stop crying. it’s making you look pathetic.” scaramouche said as he slammed the door shut. “do you know how embarrassing it is having a crybaby wife like you? lumine would never do this. everyone looks at us with pity and i hate it, and it’s all your fault,” his words dripped with venom. 
you felt your heart drop. you didn’t know he was coming home today. the plan to tell him the news you found out from the infirmary suddenly slipped out of your mind, fear of what he’d do to you replacing its spot. 
“i-i.. when did you arrive? i thought you wouldn’t be coming home for another week or so,” you said as you wiped the tears from your eyes. 
scaramouche walked in front of you, grabbing ur face with one hand while rubbing the tears away rather harshly. you immediately tried prying yourself away from him. “stop! you’re hurting me!” you shouted, grabbing his wrists and forcing his hands off your face. “oh give me a break,” he started, “now i can’t even wipe your tears away without you acting dramatic? isn’t this what you want anyways? god, how much more useless can you get? if i knew you were going to become like this, i wouldn’t have married you. id rather walk this land alone a thousand times and witness my friends get killed, than to be seen with a person like you.” your heart dropped for a second time. this time, the aching pain lingered longer. 
you slowly smiled at him. one of those smiles you give when you’ve had enough. months without him talking to you and this is how he treats you? scaramouche furrowed his eyebrows at your reaction. no one should be happy after being insulted. 
“okay.” you said, the smile turning into a bitter expression. you stood up and shoved him away from you. “take your lousy ring,” you took the ring off your finger and threw it towards his feet, “i’m sick of this, and you, and everything you haven’t done. i haven’t done anything to you to deserve this,” scaramouche stood there with a surprised face. he stumbled as he reached to catch your ring, regret immediately washing over him. never in a million years did he think you’d be capable of talking back. you’re a sweet person with no room for hate. “don’t look for me,” you continued, “don’t follow me. don’t even bother mentioning my name,” you made your way towards the door, hand reaching for the doorknob, “and by the way, don’t be surprised when one of your subordinates reports back to you telling you they spotted me with an infant that resembles you.” the electro vision on your back flickered before the sound of thunder roared and lightning replacing where your body once stood, teleporting you out of the building.
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mountttmase · 1 year
Text
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Am I Doing It Right?
Note - I hope you all enjoy this one 🙊 it a bit different to anything else I’ve done. There are big chucks of flashbacks and those will be in italics so it hope it’s not too annoying to read 😂 but please let me know what you think 🩷🩷🩷
Also a massive thank you to @carlottawllms who helped me so much with how to structure this and with some of the plot. I know she’s excited for this one so I hope it lives up to your expectations 😂🩷
Pairing - Mason Mount x Reader
Word count - 6.2k
Warnings - smut, fluff and angst
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‘I’m sorry, how is it 3am? I swear it was only 11 like twenty minutes ago’ your best friend Mia giggled as you and a few of your friends stumbled out of the club and into a waiting taxi.
‘My legs are killing me’ you moaned as you all squished in together but thankfully it wasn’t a long trip back to to the hotel.
You were currently in Edinburgh for one of your girlfriends birthdays and as you watched the unfamiliar city roll passed the window in the back of the taxi, your mind wondered to Mason being tucked up in bed at home. Your heart thudding at the thought of his pouty lips as he breathed softly in his sleep.
You were sharing a room with Mia and as soon as you got inside, you plugged your phone into charge as it had died about an hour and a half ago. You sat waiting for it to turn on as Mia was messing about in the bathroom and as soon as the screen lit up you were straight in your messages.
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Your heart lept at how thoughtful he was and you quickly text him back in your half drunken state.
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‘What the hell are you smiling at?’ Mia slurred and she came out of the bathroom, flopping down on the bed next to yours as you put your phone down.
‘Nothing, was just saying night to Mason’ you shrugged and she rolled her eyes with a smile.
‘What? He’s still awake?’
‘Yeah he said he wanted check I got back alright’ you told her and she started laughing loudly.
‘What on earth did you do to that poor boy? After all these years and he’s still completely wrapped around your finger’
‘Well I did take his virginity, maybe it’s that’ you said without thinking, laughing lightly as you looked at her but her face was a picture as you settled on it. Mouth agape and eyes wide and a look of shock on her face as she sat up to stare down at you.
‘You what? You took his- what?!’
‘Shhh’ you giggled, pulling here back down to try and get her to be quiet as you both erupted into laughter.
‘I need details, now. Why have you never told me this?’
‘Cause it’s private. You’ve never told me when you lost yours’
‘Yeah but we’re not talking about us here. We’re talking about Mason and I need you to tell me now’
You rolled you eyes, laying back and thinking back to all those years ago when you and Mason had first started dating.
You’d just started a new job in a local cafe whilst you were studying and you were on the way home from a shift when you found a wallet on the floor.
Thankfully his ID was inside and you smiled at the cute picture before your eyes landed on his date of birth. You weren’t that far apart in age and you quickly googled the address listed on it to find he lived about a 15 minute walk away. Fortunately for you it was a nice sunny day and you didn’t have anywhere else to be so you thought you’d do your good deed for the day and return it to them.
You had no idea where you were going, not knowing this particular area of town that well and the houses seemed to get bigger and bigger the further you went until you were on what seemed to be a private road. You were unsure of what to do as it was gated and you had no idea how to get to the other side as no one was around but thankfully a car pulled up just at the right time and after a mini pep talk, you ushered yourself in just before the gate closed.
The house was beautiful from what you could see but you were met with another gate, however this time there was a buzzer and you nervously pressed it in hopes someone would answer. It didn’t take long and after the third ring you heard a confused hello blast from the speaker.
‘Oh h-hi. My names y/n, um I was just on the way home from work when I found your wallet on the floor. Well I think it’s yours anyway the address is for here’ you rambled and you mentally slapped yourself for how stupid you must of sounded. ‘Sorry, I’m just returning it’ you gulped and without another word the gate began to open slowly. You took this as your cue to enter and you nervously made your way up the path to his front door.
You were about halfway when the door swung open and you felt yourself blush immediately. He was gorgeous but it was his smile that caught your attention immediately. His wide toothy grin making your tummy flutter from the first second you saw it as he made his way over to meet you and all you could think of was how his picture didn’t do him any justice.
‘Hey, Mason right?’ You questioned and he nodded before you handed his wallet over to him.
‘Thank you so much, I had no idea I’d even lost it’ he laughed as he quickly flipped it open. ‘Where was it?’
‘Just in town, by the roundabout?’
‘It must of fallen out when I came out the shop’ he laughed, tucking it back into his pockets. ‘Thank you so much for bringing it here’
‘That’s alright, it’s a nice day so it was a nice walk’ you smiled and he looked at you with a shocked expression.
‘Wait, you walked here?’ He exclaimed and you nodded at him shyly. ‘Do you um, do you wanna come in for a minute? I feel like I owe you a drink or something’
‘No you’re fine honestly’
‘Please? It will make me feel a bit better about myself’
‘Won’t your parents mind’ you asked and you watched his face flush slightly.
‘Oh uh, this is my house. They don’t live with me so I think they’ll be fine with it’
‘Oh’ you breathed, swallowing hard before nodding. If anything you we’re more curious to see the inside and work out who he was.
As predicted, the house was just as immaculate on the inside as the out and after a quick coffee and a chat he offered to drop you home as another thank you. His car was sparkling and expensive and you assumed he must of come from money so you were a little embarrassed to have him drop you outside your building but he didn’t bat an eyelid.
Two days later you came home to a beautiful bunch of pink roses and you were unsure as to who they had come from until you read the note from Mason letting you know how thankful he was and wondering if he could take you to dinner sometime with his number at the bottom. You only deliberated for a few hours before texting him back and in a few days time you were sat opposite him in some swanky restaurant you’d never heard of. You couldn’t hold it in anymore and asked him what he did and when he replied a footballer suddenly it all clicked into place.
He was unbelievably charming and made the worst dad jokes but you couldn’t help but laugh at them and it didn’t help that was was easy on the eye to the point you couldn’t look at him for more than 5 second intervals. By the end of the night you were fully under his spell so when he asked to see you again you agreed.
He seemed so different from anyone you knew, wanting to get to know you before anything else to the point you thought he might not even fancy you at all since he kept everything so platonic but on your fourth date he’d kissed you on your doorstep and you finally felt all those feeling you were told about in books and films.
‘Yeah yeah I know all this’ Mia laughed as the pair of you got comfy in bed after getting changed. ‘I want the juicy stuff’
‘I’m getting to it, it was years ago I can’t remember everything’
‘We’ll try harder. You must remember when he first told you he’d never done it?’
She was right, you did.
You’d been dating for around three months and even though he was an absolute dream, things hadn’t progressed passed a steamy make out session on his sofa and you were beginning to doubt yourself again. You’d tried making subtle advances but he seemed to be none the wiser and you thought maybe he was being respectful so you’d had a word with yourself and when you were next alone with him at his house you were going to put the moves on him.
It was his day off and you had gone to his house after work for dinner. You were currently cuddled up to him on the sofa as you watched tv, halfway through some weird film he’d found and you were waiting for the moment he looked down at you to kiss you so you could take it a bit further.
It didn’t take long and when he looked at you with a shy smile, you connected your lips in a deep kiss. You could feel him holding back a little bit like usual but you pushed through it, kissing him even deeper and sitting yourself in his lap so you could hopefully make him see what you wanted.
Your hands were all over his neck and chest whilst he kept his on your waist but that’s not what you wanted. In the end you grabbed hold of his wrists and pushed them down so he would hopefully touch you somewhere else but he resisted, pulling away from you entirely and resting his forehead on your shoulder. You were both out of breath and when he eventually looked back up at you your tummy dropped.
He didn’t want you like that, you could tell from a mile off and you quickly scrambled off of him as not to embarrass yourself any further.
‘Y/n, wait please’ he panicked, running after you but you couldn’t look at him, struggling to put your shoes on as he tried to stop you. ‘Y/n’
‘What?’ you snapped and his hands fell to his sides instantly. ‘What, Mason? I get it alright. If you don’t wanna have sex with me then you can just tell me. I’m a big girl, I can take it’ you shouted and you watched him wince at your words.
‘It’s not that at all’ he told you quietly but you didn’t believe him and you’d given up trying to talk to him. ‘Just stop, please’ he told you, holding you by your forearms as you looked up at him with a teary expression. ‘It’s not you-‘
‘Oh piss off Mason. Don’t even insult me with that it’s not you it’s me crap.
‘But it’s true’
‘Unless you give me a good enough reason then I’m off’ you told him and if you hadn’t of been so caught up in yourself you might if seen how vulnerable he looked but his silence told you everything so you pulled yourself out of his grasp and went to grab your things. ‘Bye Mase’
‘I’m a virgin’ he said quietly but it was loud enough for you to hear. Your head spinning round to face him as his eyes dropped to the floor, a wave of guilt washing over you as his words sunk into your skin. You didn’t know what to say as he stood there scratching his chin awkwardly but he beat you to it this time. ‘If you still wanna go I get it’
‘No no, Mase I’m so sorry’ you told him, rushing over to him and cupping his jaw so he would look at you but his eyes stayed glued to the floor even when you stroked your thumbs across his cheeks and you were now panicking that you’d pushed everything too far. ‘God I’m such a bitch I shouldn’t of said all that, I’m sorry I didn’t mean it’
‘You’re not a bitch’ he huffed lightly, finally placing his hands on your waist which made your heart settle a little bit. ‘I just… it’s not easy to talk about you know?’ He told you and you could see how nervous and unsure of himself he was. ‘I know we need to though so please stay. I promise I’ll explain everything’
‘Go sit I’ll be in soon’ you told him and with a kiss on his nose he shuffled off back to the living room. You couldn’t help but feel awful as you took your shoes off again and gave yourself a talking to in the mirror. You knew how much it would of taken for him to tell you what he just had and you needed to be there for him so you gave him a reassuring smile as you walked back in. He looked petrified but when you held your arms open for him he melted into your neck as you held him to your chest. ‘I’m sorry for blowing up at you and not speaking to you properly. I should never of forced you to tell me that if you weren’t comfortable. You don’t need to explain anything to me, not if you don’t want to’
‘I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while, I’m just a bit embarrassed’ he told you, voice slightly muffled by your neck
‘You’ve got nothing to be embarrassed about’
‘I’m nearly 19 and I’ve never had sex, y/n’
‘So? I know people older than you who haven’t had sex yet’ you told him and you felt him sigh into your neck ‘can I ask why you haven’t?’
‘Too focused on football I guess, never had time for girls or a proper relationship. It’s not like I haven’t wanted to but I think the longer it’s gone on the more I’ve built it up in my head and I’ve freaked myself out’
‘What’s the furthest you’ve gone with someone?’ You asked and you saw his face flush a deep red shade. ‘You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to like feel free to tell me to mind my own business’
‘No I want to’ he breathed, nodding his head before taking your hands in his so he could play with your fingers as he spoke. ‘About six or seven months ago I started speaking to this girl and we had a little thing. I thought maybe I could just got for it and get it over with but it didn’t work out that way’
‘What happened?’ You asked gently and you smiled as he cringed a little bit.
‘We made out a few times, she um… she gave me head’ he laughed, hiding his face in his hands and you rubbed up and down his thigh gently to let him know he was fine and he eventually showed his face again. ‘I couldn’t cum though, and then she expected me to return the favour so I panicked and told her the truth and that I didn’t know what to do. She basically told me I was pathetic and left’
‘Oh Mase’ you whispered, linking your fingers through his as his eyes stayed in his lap.
‘I didn’t wanna mess up what we have so I didn’t say anything and I know you’ve wanted to do… stuff for a while but I was scared to loose you’
‘Come here’ you whispered, holding your arms out and he lent into you gently. ‘You’re not gonna loose me Mase. I get why you didn’t wanna say anything and I’m sorry for being so bratty earlier but I’m not going anywhere’
‘Are you sure?’ He murmured, holding you tighter as you nodded and stroked the back of his head.
‘Positive. Look I’m not exactly a master between the sheets myself. I only did it a handful of times with my ex so there’s still loads of stuff I don’t know and haven’t tried. If you want to do stuff we can but only when you’re ready. I don’t want to force you or anything’
‘You’re not forcing me’ he laughed against your chest and you held him even tighter. ‘It’s pretty much all I’ve thought about but I don’t want to disappoint you. I don’t wanna be shit at it you know? I wanna make you feel good’
‘Hey’ you huffed, pulling back so you could look at each other. ‘You could never disappoint me. It’s all a learning curve and we can work out what the other likes from the start. I know it seems scary but it’s fun when you know how’ you laughed and he finally smiled a real smile.
‘I wanna do thing’s properly with you, I think that’s why I held off saying anything cause you’re the first girl I’ve not wanted to just get it over with and be done. I want it to mean something’ he told you honestly and you lent in to give him a heavy kiss.
‘I really am sorry, I feel like a right cow. Having a big strop just because you won’t give me any’ you joked rolling your eyes. ‘I just thought maybe you didn’t like me in that way or something’
‘I like you in every way’ he told you sincerely and your heart fluttered as he brushed some hair behind your ear. ‘And this isn’t just about being physical, I like you for who you are and I want to spend time with you for as long as I can’
‘I want that too. I’d hate for you to think this is just sex for me’
‘I don’t think that’
‘Really?’
‘Of course. I love being with you and if we can take that next step then great but it might just take me a little bit of time to get there fully’
‘God you really are a cow’ she laughed and you hid your face out of embarrassment. ‘You practically outed the poor boy’
‘I didn’t mean to. I felt awful but can you blame me? Every time I look at him I wanna rip his clothes off and the fact it felt like he didn’t feel the same was making me feel like shit’ you laughed as she nodded in agreement. ‘I just presumed he’d done it already’
‘So how long did it take until you did it?’
‘A little while. I mean we did other stuff first’ you shrugged and you heard her let out an excited little squeal.
‘Spill. Now’
‘Mia, I’m not giving you a run down to the start of our sex life’
‘Yes you are. Now come on I haven’t got all night’
‘Fine’ you huffed with a laugh, actually enjoying thinking back to all those years ago.
You knew he was nervous about it all and wanted to let him know you were ready whenever he was, trying to reassure him over anything else but he seemed to want you just as much even if he was scared.
‘Well whenever you wanna start we can’ you winked and you watched him get all nervous again.
‘We could um- we could start now? If you wanted?’
‘If that what you want?’ You asked him quietly and he gave you a gentle nod. ‘Well, how about I look after you a little, make up for blowing up at you earlier’ you teased, running your hand up and down his thigh as he looked at you with blown out pupils. ‘We can start slow, like just kiss for a bit. Whatever you’re comfortable with and then if you want to try anything else we can. Does that sound okay?’
‘Yeah’ he told you quietly but you could tell he was on edge about the whole thing.
‘Just relax yeah? We can go as slow as you like and you can just tell me what feels good. And if it doesn’t then we can stop or try something else. Do you trust me?’
‘Yes’ he smiled, his shoulders finally relaxing as he repositioned the pair of you so you were slightly laid back. Your legs over his thighs as his arms circled your waist and you cupped his jaw to bring his lips to yours.
It all felt so different to before, he was finally relaxing into you properly and you hummed contently into his mouth as he slipped his tongue in after a while. You stayed like that for a bit until you were truly happy that he was relaxed before you started to move, sitting up so you could straddle him whilst not disconnecting your lips from his once. Moving your hands to his shoulders and across his chest where you could feel his heart beating just as rapidly as yours.
You could feel him underneath you and from the way his hands were now stroking lightly over the backs of your thighs you knew he was getting into things so you began to ever so gently rock your hips over him causing him to quietly moan into your mouth.
‘How’s that, Mase?’ You whispered against his lips but the way he was now gripping your hips told you everything you needed.
‘G-good. So fucking good’ he told you and you smiled, kissing his again and grinding down a little harder before you slid off his lap and sat next to him, lips still attached as you palmed him over his joggers and you moaned along with him at the feel of him in your hand.
‘Mase? Can I?’ You asked, your fingers dancing over his waist band and you felt him let out a shaky breath against you lips before he shimmied them down his hips along with his boxers until he had freed himself but you paid no attention to it at first pulling him back in for a kiss so he could relax again before you attempted to do anything. You couldn’t help but let your fingers wonder down to his length, griping him lightly before his head rolled back on the sofa.
You took the opportunity to see what you were working with and you felt your mouth water at the sight of him. You pumped him a few times before his lips were back on yours, hungrily kissing you as you worked on him until he was biting your bottom lip.
You moved down off the sofa to you could pop yourself in between his legs and pull his boxers down all the way but you didn’t want him feeling self conscious so you stripped yourself of your top to leave you in just your bra and the small growl he let out made you clench your thighs together.
You took him in your mouth gently, looking up at him through your lashes as he balled his fists as the side of him. You reached out to take his hands, threading his fingers through your hair so he could keep your hair out of your face while you made him feel as good as you could. And by the moans and whimpers coming from him you thought you were doing a pretty good job.
He was tense though, you could tell that much so you came of off him with a pop, taking him in your hand so you could pump him whilst looking back at him.
‘Relax, Mase’
‘I-I’m gonna cum’ he told you and you smiled up at him cheekily.
‘Good’ you breathed before taking him back in your mouth again, making sure you got him over the line and when he started bucking his hips up into you you knew he was close. ‘Don’t think about it yeah?’ You breathed ‘Just cum for me Mase’ you told him again and your words seem to hit this time as your name fell from his lips. You swallowed him down, pulling off of him and making sure you didn’t spill a drop as he looked down at you with wide and curious eyes.
‘Jesus Christ’ he laughed, his face flushed from embarrassment and you crawled back up into his lap so you could kiss his cheek.
‘How was it?’
‘You’re amazing’ he smiled, kissing you quickly before he cupped your jaw. ‘I can’t believe we just did that’ he giggled and you could tell he was feeling a little bit shy. ‘I promise I’ll pay you back when I’m ready’
‘Mase, it’s not about payback’ you laughed but he silenced you with a kiss.
‘I know but I want to’ he smiled before wrapping himself around you.
A week later you were back at Masons and after you’d cleared up from dinner he took you up to his room where he told you he wanted to be shown how to please you.
You stripped down to nothing with a little help from Mason who was eyeing you up like he never had before, confessing you were the first girl he’d ever seen fully naked and you felt yourself blush as he lead you over to his bed. Mason kept his boxers on for now and you laid next to him, guiding his hand and showing him where on your body you liked to be touched and kissed and even though he was technically learning, every touch of his fingers and lips made you shiver so when he took your nipple into his mouth unprompted you nearly lost your mind.
‘What you did to me, I wanna do that to you’ he told you quietly, looking up at you through his lashes as he moved to position himself in between your legs and you felt yourself melt at how vulnerable he was. ‘Tell me what to do’
You gave him a quick explanation, blushing and stuttering through it as he smiled up at you before dipping his head down suddenly. You could tell he was unsure but he was also listening to how you reacted to what he did and when you let out a loud moan he looked up at you with a small smile.
‘Am I doing it right?’ He asked and you nodded your head with a laugh before he was diving back in. You gave him a few more pointers but he surprised you again by dipping a finger inside you slowly, making you arch your back at the new sensation.
‘Mase, keep doing that’ you told him breathlessly and he did just that, find a rhythm the pair of you enjoyed and you sunk into the sheets, threading your fingers into his hair as you began to rock your hips against him. ‘Fucking hell, Mason. That’s so good’ you breathed and you felt him moan into your core, clearly loving hearing how good he was doing so you made a mental note to praise him when you could. You’d been waiting for this for a while so it didn’t take long until he was eventually riding you through it, feeling him move back to beside you with a cheeky grin. ‘What the fuck, Mase?’ You laughed, pulling him in for a kiss and you hummed as you tasted yourself. ‘You’re a natural’
‘I can’t take all the credit. After last week I did a bit of research’ he winked and you giggled as you pulled him closer.
‘So you watched porn?’
‘A shit tone, yes’ he confessed, kissing your forehead gently. ‘But don’t worry, I know most of it’s just for show I just needed a few pointers. Did I do good?’
‘Better than good’ you winked as your stroked his face, noticing the slight flush of his cheeks at your words. ‘What about you? did you enjoy it?’
‘Yeah, more than I thought I would. I like the idea of making you feel good and putting your pleasure above mine. Like knowing I can do that to you and make you feel that way’
‘And that’s the answer I was looking for’ you giggled as you pulled him in for a long kiss.
The pair of you had been experimenting for a few more weeks until he had a week off and once you’d taken a few days off yourself, he invited you over to stay for a few nights so you could spend some proper time together. You were in the bathroom taking your makeup up off when you felt him come up behind you, kissing your neck gently as he slowly stroked over your arms meaning you were covered in goosebumps.
‘Come with me?’ He asked softly as soon as you were done, and you took his hand and followed him back into his room.
He’d dimmed the lights and there was gentle music playing in the background but your eyes were focused on the bed where he’d sprinkled rose petals over the sheets and you felt your face flush as you took it all in.
‘What’s all this’ you laughed, turning to look at him but his shy smile told you everything.
‘I’ve been thinking about it and wondering what it feels like for days. If you talk me through it, I wanna try’
‘Yeah?’ You laughed, cupping his jaw so you could kiss him gently and you felt him smile onto your lips
‘Yeah. I’m not gonna lie I’m bricking it but I wanna do this’
‘It’s not that scary Mase, I promise. We can just do what we’ve been doing before so you can relax a bit and when you’re ready we can do whatever you want. But if you wanna stop just tell me yeah?’
‘I love you’ he breathed, looking right into your eyes in the most adoring way and you almost lost your breath. ‘I do, and I’m not just saying that cause we’re about to have sex and I feel like I should. You’ve been the best thing to happen to me in the longest time, like all this stuff you’ve been so calm and patient with me and there’s no one else I’d rather be doing this with’
‘I love you, too’ you giggled, pulling him into a kiss but the pair of you couldn’t stop smiling so you pulled away, playing with the hem of his top so you could subtly let him know you wanted it off and he didn’t stop you when you started tugging it up his body.
When the pair of you were undressed, he laid you down so he could kiss you again you you let your hands wonder all over him. Just as you told him, you fooled around a little first just to get each other going but it didn’t take long for him to look up at you with curious eyes.
‘What do I do? Where do I-‘
‘Shhh’ you cut him off when you could see he was panicking, kissing him again to relax him before speaking. ‘What way do you wanna do this? I can ride you, or I can lay down? Whatever you want’ you told him gently but you could tell he was overwhelmed so you stroked his cheek gently to soothe him. ‘Mase, we don’t have to rush this’
‘I’m just being stupid, I’m sorry’ he laughed
‘You’re not being stupid at all’ you reassured him before kissing him gently. ‘Why don’t you let me take control yeah? Just sit back there against the headboard and if you wanna try a different position after a while we can’
‘Okay’ he blushed, but did as you asked and sat himself back the headboard whilst you sat over him, rocking yourself along his length as you kissed him until he lifted you by your hips and you knew he was ready. You reached down to line him up with you as you held his eye contact as you sunk down onto him, his breath stuttering as you fully took him in. ‘Oh my god’
‘That feel good?’
‘Yes’ he whimpered as he gripped your thighs and you kissed his forehead to try and relax him.
‘I’m gonna start moving, yeah?’ You told him and with a gentle nod from Mason you began rocking your hips, keeping yourself steady with your hands on his shoulders. His eyes were wild, staring into your soul before he couldn’t take it anymore and shut them as his moans grew even louder.
‘You feel so fucking good. Why haven’t we don’t this before’ he gulped, starting to guide your hips and buck up into you slightly.
‘You’re so big Mase’ you moaned, getting lost in the feel of him and it wasn’t too long before he stilled your hips and you looked at him in confusion.
‘Can we try the other way?’ He asked shyly and you nodded with a smile before climbing off of him and swapping places so you were laying where he’d just sat. You could see he was a bit nervous still but you let him take his time and slowly push himself into you, moaning along with him as you watched his eyes roll back in his head.
‘That’s it, Mase’ you told him as he began to thrust into you ‘Don’t hold back, yeah? Don’t think about it just do what feels good. I want all of you, give me all you’ve got’ you told him quietly as your stared into his soul, watched his eyes roll to the back of his head again as he got into it before grabbing the backs of your thighs until you were even more spread out for him. You went hot all over at the way he was looking at your body before his eyes would flick down to where you connected, watching himself go in and out of you as his mouth hung open in a quiet disbelief. His thrusts became deeper as he pounded into you, his forehead coming to rest on yours as he held your eye contact and you knew he was close.
‘If need need to cum then you can’ you breathed but he shook in head in a mini protest.
‘I wanna make you cum’ he huffed, halting his hips and you thought his little scrunched up face was adorable.
‘We’ve got all night’ you told him, reaching up to cup his jaw and bring him down to kiss you. He started moving his hips soon after, breathing into each others mouths until you felt him shoot up and pull himself out of you, stroking over himself before releasing all over your chest and tummy.
You smiled at him as he blushed, dipping one of his fingers in and popping it into your mouth so you could taste him and the sight must of sent him feral as he was quick to lay down and start licking away at you. Making sure to make you cum as quickly as he could and after all the practice he’d had lately it didn’t take long.
He laid down next to you, linking your pinkies together as you you both got your breath back, eventually looking at each other shyly before erupting into giggles.
‘Congrats Mase, how was it?’ You chuckled and he looked down at you adoringly.
‘Well, all I can think about is cleaning you up and going again so I’d say pretty good’ he laughed. ‘I can’t believe I built it up for so long’
‘It’s okay, these things can be scary but we’ve crossed that line now. No going back’ you joked and he just smiled and shook his head it you in agreement.
‘Thank you. I really mean it. You could of walked away when I told you and I wouldn’t of blamed you’
‘Mase, I’m not going anywhere and I’m really glad we’ve got to do this together’
‘Me too, I feel way closer to you now. I still can’t believe you’re mine, I’m so lucky’ he told you, kissing you lovingly and you felt your chest fill with warmth as his fingers traced your skin. ‘I love you’ he breathed kissing your forehead as you felt yourself blush.
‘I love you too’
‘The pair of you make me sick I swear, of course it was perfect’ Mia laughed, rolling her eyes as you’d finished off your story.
‘Well in my mind it was perfect anyway’ you told her as you both let out a yawn.
‘So what you mean is you’ve trained him to do exactly what you like and basically ruined him for every other girl?’
‘Pretty much’ you winked
‘Wow, you really do have it all’ she laughed. ‘I still can’t believe it’
‘Just keep it to yourself. Mason would kill me if he found out you knew’
‘Set me up with one of his teammates and I’ll think about it’ she winked before shutting her eyes. You knew your secret was safe with her and with one final glance at your Lock Screen, a cute mirror selfie of you and Mason, you drifted off yourself.
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allaboutthebooz · 10 months
Text
Come Over
Summary: Bucky can't seem to let go
Pairing: Bucky x reader
A/n: Oh look. I've come out of my once a year slumber to grace you with my undeserving presence and I will leave you with the tasty angst. It will be a one-shot, I'm sorry. Don't hate me too much.
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"Come over." The two words that light up your phone, briefly illuminating your dark bedroom at one o'clock in the morning. You had spent the past few hours tossing and turning. You just couldn't seem to shut your brain off and apparently neither could he.
He always seemed to know when you were having a hard time sleeping. He also knew exactly what you needed. A way to relax.
The only problem was that you both agreed to not keep doing this. Things weren't easy when you were together, almost toxic really.
Constant screaming matches that would always lead to tears and clothes being tossed around the apartment. To him moving agonizingly slow inside of you. Him whispering his love and apologies in your ear while you whimpered and moved to meet his thrusts just the way he liked. Accepting the affection while it lasts, knowing it would happen again.
When things finally ended with you packing your things and leaving the spare key on the counter, you swore to never allow yourself to be caught up in his game of push and pull again.
You were devastated to leave him, but knew it was the only way things would change. He made it so difficult to stay away though. One text or call and one of you would be at the other's door.
Your friends always questioned why you kept crawling back to him and no matter how much explaining you tried to do, they just wouldn't leave it alone. You would go on the dates they would arrange for you, but you always found yourself in his bed after the guys would drop you off.
You laid in bed a few more minutes trying to decide if you should ignore him or give in the slight tug behind your navel. You had just thrown your covers off of you, when your phone began to ring. Without looking at the Caller ID, you answer.
"Hello?"
"I was worried you were actually asleep for once." His rough voice making your insides melt.
You release a slight chuckle. "No I was just debating if this was a good idea."
"It's always a good idea." You could hear the smile in his voice.
You sigh. "Is it though? We're supposed to be moving on, Buck. How am I supposed to move on when you won't let me?"
"Who says I want you to move on?"
"I don't know. The gazillion fights we've had. The constant screaming at each other. The constant tears I've shed. I can keep going. We're not good for each other."
He's quiet for a moment. You can tell he's going through the memories of you two together. "That doesn't mean we're good for anyone else."
"You don't know that, James."
"Yes, I do. From the moment I laid eyes on you, I knew you were it for me. No matter what we've gone through. You're still the one I want in my arms at the end of the day."
"The only thing we're good at together, is fucking each other and you know that's not good enough."
"That doesn't mean I want you to move on. I will never stop loving you."
You heart clenches. "Maybe you should."
He pauses. "Do you want me to?"
Your breath catches in your throat. It wasn't all bad. Aside from the sex, you two were capable of laughing and being completely in love. You remember how he would hold you close when you were out with your friends. How he would come up behind you when you were cooking and just wrap himself around you. How he would take you to your favorite meadow and you would sprawl out on a blanket, while he would just look at you as if you were the only thing that mattered to him.
How he would tuck your hair behind your ears and kiss you so gently that you felt like you would float away. How he would hum his favorite songs while he got ready for work and you laid in bed watching him. His ice blue eyes, taking in every inch of you when you would sit on the couch reading.
"No I don't." You whisper.
"Then get your ass over here and let me show you just how much I love you."
Tears prick your eyes. "I don't think I should, Bucky."
"Come on, babe." He pleads gently. "I love you so much. Things can be so different this time. I can stop hurting you."
"You say this every time. How do I know that things won't be the same?"
"You have to trust me. The only way to know is for me to prove it to you." You can hear the desperation growing inside of him.
You shake your head. "I don't know, Buck."
"Then let me come to you." He begs. "Please, Y/N."
TAG LIST: @fangirlinsweden @snackles87 @jamielea81
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fatuishooker · 2 years
Text
Keep them
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Tighnari x f reader smut
Authors note: not only is this my first time using tumblr this is also my first fic I’ve ever wrote so please ignore random errors
Also I have no idea how he acts so this is prob ooc LMAO
nsfw: breeding, desk sex, clothed sex, caught?, idk man
This was not proof read
……………..
“Do you know where Tighnari is? His books are here” you asked Collei who was currently sitting  at her desk. The young girl whips her head around not expecting you to be there. “Hi Ms.Y/N, Master Tighnari should be in his office reading. I can bring his books to him if you don't want to carry them.” she offers standing up, expecting you to tell her to bring them up. 
“It's fine I got it, Keep studying your book and I'll be back down to ask about your studies in a sec.” you give her a smile as you walk away after hearing her settle back down giving a quick “yes ma'am.” 
His office was just around the corner so you really didn't mind carrying them. His door was cracked so you could easily push the door open with no struggle. “Hi Tighnari, your books came in so I thought id bring them in.” you explain to him tilting your head from behind the stack of books to look at him. 
His ears perked up at the sudden voice that he was not expecting. “Hello Ms. Y/N, can you just set them in the corner next to the rest.” he said in an almost excited tone. He always got quite excited when his new books came in. 
“Tighnari i told you to stop with the formalities, we are friends and friends don't use titles.” you complained, walking towards the other stack of books. He never got over that habit even though you always fussed about it. 
“I know, i'm trying to get better with that,” He said, watching you bend down to set the heavy stack down across the room. But his breath gets caught in his throat when his eyes make direct contact with the sight of your skirt slightly lifted, giving him a view of your cute panties and outline of your plump folds. 
He instantly looked away out of pure respect for you. Putting his head down on the desk he was currently sitting at. “What are these books even about? You order so many at once so they must be good.” you said with a curious tone, standing back up to admire the books he has collected over the years. But when you hear no response from the man you assume he didn't hear you. Turning around to see the man face in his arms on his desk. 
You were quite confused about the mood change. He was perfectly fine a few seconds ago. “Are you alright, Nari?” you ask, walking towards his desk. He instantly sits up realizing that he's making himself seem more suspicious. “I'm alright, I'm just tired from reading.” he tries to explain. 
But you know he's lying. How do you know? His tail was swaying faster than normal. 
“You don't have to lie, you know.” you say walking up right next to him to see why he was acting this way. But you found out due to your eyes catching the sight of the growing bulge in his pants. He quickly covered himself with his hands in a panic. His whole body felt hot due to pure embarrassment.
“Im so sorry y/n, i really didn't want you seeing me in this way because i resp-” he was cut off by your sudden bold words 
“Do you need help?” you say, slightly pressing your legs together at the sight of him completely flustered. “I would never want you to feel pressured to do anyth-'' he tries to say but once again gets cut off. “That is not what I asked.” leaning into his ear “Do you need help Tighnari.” you said as you watched a cold chill come across him. 
“Yes please” he whimpered out so quietly you almost didn't catch what he said. You would've tried to tease him but how desperate he looked to have you made your walls clench around nothing. His feet push against the ground to move the chair away from the desk to give you some room.
You walked in front of him, slowly getting on your knees. Dragging your soft hands up his thighs to his pants waistband. He looked so cute and bothered already. Face flushed red, ears twitching, and his tail moving rapidly. “Can you hurry up please y/n~”  Tighnari whimpers, putting his hands on top of yours, encouraging you to pull his pants down. He lifted his hips up slightly as you pulled the pants down to pool at his ankles. 
His heavy cock was already leaking from the little contact you have had. You nearly start drooling at the sight. “Has anyone ever told you your cocks gorgeous?” you giggle out as you wrap your fingers around the base starting to pump at a slow agonizing pace. His hips twitching at you sudden praise and touch. 
“You would be the first~” he groaned, embarrassed at both of your confessions. He didn't understand how you were always so bold with your words. He wanted you to be just as embarrassed as him. He could barely look at the sight of you smiling at his words, Licking a fat stripe up his sensitive cock. You moaning at the taste and warmth of his cock. 
Wrapping your lips around the tip, licking circles around the tip. He lets out a loud whimper, hand instantly going to grab your hair but you smack it away. The dramatic breath he let out made you moan, vibrating his sensitive cock. Lifting your head off of his cock, pumping your hand faster but not enough to actually give enough pleasure he would need to cum. You began to stand up on your feet, leaning over so you both came eye to eye. 
“Ya know i've always wanted to do this” you confess, Now it was your turn to be embarrassed. He smiles at your flushed expression, but what you stated made him feel different. He wanted to see more of you. He wanted you.
You looked nervous at the fact he didn't respond, him removing your hand from his cock. But your worry was quickly gone as he stood up, grabbing your waist placing you down on his desk facing him. 
“You were taking too long.” He says, reaching his hand down to push your skirt up. Fingers pressing against your clothed cunt. “Do you want to go further?” He knows your answer, he just wants you to say it out loud. 
You respond with a head shake. He dragged a finger to pull your panties to the side. But once he did, he didn't move. You wiggle your hips wanting more but he grabbed your hip with his other hand holding you still. “That is not what I asked.” He says with a smirk. 
If you weren't embarrassed before you surely were now. Not only was your dripping cunt on full display in front of your coworker, But he is using your own words against you now? The look on his face showed he was amused at how shy you were getting. 
Sick of waiting, you finally give in to what he wants. “Please fuck me” you whisper. Humiliated at the fact you even had to say it. But Tighnari wasn't satisfied. 
“What did you say y/n?” he says, his sarcastic tone making you instantly whine. “Fuck me already Tighnari!” You say aggressively, leaning up wrapping one arm around the back of his neck. He is shocked by your actions but instantly wraps his arm around your back and grabs his cock. 
Running his flushed pink tip against your already soaked folds. He slowly pushes in, you both letting a gasp out. Your legs wrapping around his waist pulling him in closer. You both are practically hugging each other trying to get as close as possible. Both of your eyes watch as he bottoms out. 
You both look up at each other and lean in, lips smashing against each other. Licking around each other's mouths,wanting to taste as much as possible. That goes on for a while as you get adjusted to his cock. 
Pulling away from the kiss you both stare at each other, panting heavily. “Please move Nari”  You whine. The desperation in your voice makes tighnaris cock twitch. He slowly pulls out, dragging a long moan out of you. His tip being the only thing left in you made you feel empty. But the empty feeling didn't last long because he quickly shoved his heavy cock against your walls. 
His pace is slow at first, letting you get used to his size . His cock tightly being squeezed by your walls, filling you up perfectly. His eyes were glued to where you both were connecting, watching the thick ring of your arousal pool at the base of his cock. 
The slow deep strokes allow you to feel each vain of his beautiful cock. But the slow pace didn't last for long because soon as you started digging your nails into him he felt something feral strike him. 
“Fuck- you feel so good~” Tighnari growls, leaning forward to bite onto your shoulder. His pace becomes brutal, pounding into you turning you into a babbling mess. The desk scraped loudly against the floor due to the strength of the thrust. You angle your hips up more making him hit the perfect spot, your eyes watering and your hands moved up to rub his ears. As you rubbed he leaned into your touch, whining loudly.
Only thing you could hear was the sound of skin slapping and loud moans. You both forgot everyone existed, only caring about each other. But you both were brought back to reality when a soft knock and a very concerned girl knocked on the door. 
“Master Tighnari, are you okay in there? I heard a loud scraping against the floor.” collei asked. 
You both automatically stop and look at each other in shock. You both totally forgot how curious the clueless girl was. He clears his throat getting ready to respond. But an evil thought crosses your mind. You clench your walls tighter around him just as he's ready to speak.
“I'm alrighttt collei, just moving things -arou-nd…” he pants, looking down at you staring daggers into your soul. 
“Oh alrighttt, just making sure. Also have you seen Ms y/n? I wanted to talk to her before she went out on night patrol.” she says innocently, her feet tapping against the floor outside. 
Tighnari began slowly fucking back into you. You gave him a harsh stare covering your mouth. He leaned up to your ear, pulling your hand away. 
“Go on, answer her y/n~” he says teasingly. You gather yourself, trying to ignore the fat cock rubbing your walls. 
“Collei, me and Nari~ are having a meetin-g right now. I'll see you when we're doneee.” you state, biting your lip as you finish talking. Tighnari stops when she starts speaking again. “Okay i'll be waiting in my room.” she says excitedly. Poor girl has no idea her two superiors were fucking eachother stupid behind the door she just walked away from.
As you hear her footsteps disappear, you and Tighnari both sigh. “We should hurry up before she comes back again.” you laugh out, Tighnari agreeing seconds later. His cock slowly pulls out of you causing you to whine at the emptiness. 
“Turn around.” He says, pulling you up from the desk onto your feet. You turn around resting your hands on the edge of the desk. Your back flushed against his, you could feel the sweat on both of your shirts. He aligns his cock with your cunt once more, his heavy cock going right back to work. 
He wraps one arm around your waist and his other hand wraps around your neck, squeezing tightly as his pace picks up. Your constant moans and praises were filling his ears. But one thing caught his attention. 
“Pleaseee cum in me nari~” you begged, your end coming near as you fuck yourself back onto him matching his pace. His pace suddenly becomes aggressive, drool and tears leaving you as a result. 
“Are you-u suree?” he panted, he prayed that you meant that because he doesn't want to leave your warm cunt. But he instantly smiled at you turning your head towards him, instantly shaking your head yes multiple times. He leans forward to capture your lips. 
You both moan into the kiss as you both finally cum, slowing down as he fucks you through your orgasm. His warm load makes you feel fuller than before. Pulling your lips away from each other to breathe. Staring at each other, completely flushed. Tighnari lets out a soft laugh when you whine as he pulls out, cum leaking slightly out your cunt.
“I'm sorry I don't really have anything to clean you up in here.” he sighs, pulling his pants back up.  “It's fine, I'll just stop by my room before seeing collei.” you said, a warm smile on your face as you fix your clothes to make yourself decent. 
“Um just so you know i wasnt using you for sex…. I actually like you. It's okay if you don't feel the same way but I just thought I'd let you know.” Tighnari nervously says, avoiding your lingering eyes. You lean in and give him a soft peck on his swollen lips. “Tighnari I know. I wouldnt have fucked you if i didnt also like you.” you laugh out. He's back to his normal self again. 
“Maybe we can go out sometime? As more than friends…” He shyly says, tail swinging back and forth as he hides his happiness from your confession. “Of course nari, we can talk more later in your room. I shouldn't leave collei waiting any longer.” you explain, walking towards the door to leave.”Wait you forgot your underwear” He says, grabbing the pair he set on his desk.
“Keep them.”
………..
Extra 
“Soooo…. Do you like Master Tighnari?” Collei asked, smiling at you because she knows your answer. “Collei, I thought you wanted to talk about your studies, why are we talking about my relationship status?” you say flushed, the actions you two did flashing through your head. 
“I just think you two would be a perfect couple! Plus you and Master Tighnari never have meetings so somethings up...” she says suspiciously. “That's enough talking about that, let's talk about your studies before I make you take my night watch.” you state, hands on hips glaring at the girl. 
“Yes Ma'am.” Collei says, quickly starting to talk about her studies.
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