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#a fun thing tumblr has started doing is not letting me tag literally anyone except shinesurge
horrorshow · 1 month
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Can you talk about why you think blocking and moving on is a bad thing? I thought it was a way to curate your space and avoid drama
idk maybe i'm too idealistic but fandom is a much more friendlier, welcoming, supportive, creative, engaging, active, diverse and interesting space when it's treated like a community where people are encouraged to participate and talk about their interests and where there's space for niche or more unpopular opinions without these people having to worry about being blocked and feel unwelcome by the majority of the fandom they are in. i can't stand how blocking everyone you disagree with has become the first thing to do.
you say its 'to curate your experience'. but blocking people does not only curate YOUR experience. you're also forcefully curating other users' experiences. and not for the better.
people say 'i will block you for literally anything' and then those same people wonder why engagement is down, why no one sends asks, why no one reblogs, why rarely anyone talks in the tags anymore and why this place feels so dead and boring and quiet. i wonder why!!!!
people treat real people as annoying ads they can dispose of at their whim. but that's not how a fandom or a site like tumblr works. (besides, if you really care about people curating their own experience you wouldn't block people. you can filter and blacklist and never see them again while still granting them the same freedom instead of actively making their experience worse.)
you say its to avoid drama. but seeing a post you dont agree with is not 'drama'. and blocking is not solving anything except for you personally. fandom was more fun when we remembered that every user is a real person you share a space with, and probably some mutuals as well, so you find a way to live with each other. starting with a restraining order seems a bit excessive and is not contributing to anything. it's not that hard to be respectful and tolerate others and acknowledge people have different opinions and interests and still co-exist in peace. its not that hard to be nice to people and try to find common ground with them and interact with the stuff you DO like. you do this in every aspect of your real life, so why not online?
i hear you say: 'but that requires WORK and i don't NEED to do any of that bc i can just block them'.
yeah, you can try to create your own bubble and only hang out with like minded people but you wont EVER fully achieve that (no matter how much you block, social media WILL keep feeding you posts you disagree with bc it makes them money). social media WILL pressure you into an 'us vs. them' mentality where you constantly feel like everything online is a threat or an argument you have to win and where being mean and unnuanced gives you the most notes and where you don't even see, let alone be able to treat, other users as people anymore bc you don't interact with them anymore other than to block or fight them. that's not how i want it to be online. it's not fun to me. and maybe i'm a pessimist but i think it will eventually be the death of online fandom and sites like tumblr. look at the state of twitter right now. DOES blocking give you a better experience in the long run? i doubt that it does. overall, i think it makes people even less tolerable and more vulnerable to hate and fear mongering, and social media an even more hostile place.
it's everything i hate about social media and everything i want to fight against and WILL fight against. i won't pretend my meager contribution will change anything, but i LIKE to just scroll past posts i don't vibe with and not see every argument online as a personal offense. it keeps me curious. most posts aren't that bad when you know the person behind it. i mean, you do you, i'm not gonna say what you should or shouldn't do bc that's up to you, but i recommend it: free yourself of the block button and bring back supportive user communities based on a shared love for the same thing and focus on what you have in common with people, just like you would do in real life. save the block button for the rotten apples who DO keep trying to pick fights and exclude others.
(which is, now that i think about it, probably the main difference: most people see the block button as a neutral way to prevent worse. but. that's only the case on an individual level. and treating everything online as an individual choice to which there are no further consequences, especially if they happen on a larger scale, is already a loss.)
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bvckandeddie · 9 months
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Tumblr Fandom: A Year in Review 2023
i was tagged by @captain-hen, thank you! 🥰
i was tempted to skip the top five blorbos/fandoms/pairings section because let's be honest, it's really only been buck and eddie for the entire year, but i do have other interests even if i'm not as involved in them as i am in buddie. so enjoy learning more about my ao3 history, i guess? 😂
top 5 blorbos:
evan "buck" buckley (9-1-1)
eddie diaz (9-1-1)
roy kent (ted lasso)
clint barton (marvel)
billy butcher (the boys) (i literally started watching this show two weeks ago but y'know what? i'm adding it. butcher is just so blorbo shaped.)
top 5 fandoms:
9-1-1
avatar: the last airbender (for anyone who doesn't know, my atla sideblog is @zukkababey!)
marvel
ted lasso
teen wolf
top 5 pairings:
evan buckley/eddie diaz (9-1-1)
roy kent/jamie tartt (ted lasso)
clint barton/bucky barnes (marvel)
arthur/eames (inception)
billy butcher/hughie campbell (the boys)
shoutout to some new friends:
i've talked to so many new people this year who have really made me feel included in the 9-1-1 fandom, namely @devirnis, @colonoscopys, @shitouttabuck, @housewifebuck, @eddiebabygirldiaz, @vampbuckley and @buck2eddie. i love seeing you all in my notifications, and so many of you have been so encouraging, especially during my writing drought that's been persisting for months. y'all are great 🥹🫶
shoutout to some old friends:
i'm kinda new here but @eddiediaaz, i'm pretty sure you were my first ever 9-1-1 mutual that i talked to and you really made me feel so so welcome in the fandom when i posted my first buddie fic back in 2022. i will always be grateful for that and you!!! ❤️
favourite creation you posted this year:
it's definitely gotta be what a heart can do. i love dad buck so much, i had such a fun time writing it, and i think it's some of my best storytelling. it makes me really happy that so many people have read and enjoyed it!
favourite creation posted by someone else this year:
THIS VIDEO by @butchdiaz. holy fucking shit. i'm sure everyone reading this has already seen it, but ohhhhh my god. this video rearranged my molecules. i can't listen to ceilings without thinking about it. the way you edited it to match so many important buddie moments, it genuinely makes me feel so insane. i re-watched it last night and i'm still vibrating just thinking about it.
people who brightened your year:
so many people!!! @negansmiith made a graphic for hurt locker that basically made my whole year! it is saved in my camera roll and i look back on it frequently. 🥰 @housewifebuck made a beautiful hat that i am genuinely obsessed with. check out their shop!!! anyone who has ever read my silly tags on a post i reblogged and dm'd me to chat about it—i love you.
anyone else you'd like to mention:
everyone who has read my fics or commented on them telling me your thoughts, thank you. seriously. just know that when i read your comment(s), i was twirling my hair and kicking my feet back and forth and squealing and smiling so hard my cheeks started to hurt. every single comment made 2023 that much brighter.
five of your favourite authors this year:
@gayhoediaz - every time i get an email that you've posted a buddie fic, i know that i have a bedtime story for that night. i know it's gonna be a good one, every single time.
@devirnis - i read your fic about buck and eddie ring shopping and getting caught up in a robbery and i've never looked back. i've read so many of your fics this year (and tbh, thank god i still have more to read) and i'm looking forward to reading all the ones that you have in the works!!!
@colonoscopys - i’m pretty sure that i binged basically all of your fics this year and i don’t regret a single thing (except maybe going through them too fast). god, i love your writing.
@rewritetheending - gosh the way you’re able to get to the heart of emotions and describe them in a way that puts an ache in my chest makes me want to claw the ground until my fingernails break off. my fave fic of yours is still while we do what lovers do and i know it wasn’t posted in 2023 but i needed to shout it out here because goddddddd. i still think about it all the time.
@letmetellyouaboutmyfeels - i enjoyed reading your halloween fics this year so much, particularly your dark buddie au. sometimes you just gotta imagine your wholesome, already in love blorbos be absolutely unhinged and crazy about each other, and that’s perfectly normal. i actually remember looking for a dark buddie fic when i first joined the fandom and there were none, so i’m glad my wish was fulfilled, especially when it was done so damn well.
five of your favourite artists/gifmakers/podficcers/etc. this year:
@try-set-me-on-fire - you could have gone under fave authors too, but i fucking love your art style. i don't know art terms so forgive me, but something about the messiness and abstractness scratches this itch deep in my brain and they evoke such unnameable feelings that want to burst out of my ribcage. ugh!!!!!! if you sold prints i'd be checking out in two seconds flat.
@butchdiaz - i know i already waxed poetic about your ceilings edit, but i love your edits/gifs too, particularly this one. it's so simple but so beautiful and fucking devastating. the gif aspect is subtle but intentional (buck fading to black and white while the blood stays red?????? KILL ME!). i'd eat your gifs if i could.
@shitouttabuck - you could go under fave authors too (hello i love you like a dog fic) but i wanted to shout you out here because you are so fucking funny. every single edit you post makes me giggle out loud. tbh i didn't even realize they were all from you until i started scrolling through your edit tag looking for this post. i can't get over it. i literally laughed at it AGAIN when i found it.
@eddiediaaz - you are constantly feeding the 911 fandom. you make so many gifsets on so many different sideblogs that i'm sure no one actually knows how many gifs you're constantly making. and every single one is so goddamn good??? and they're so creative. like this one??? there are so many things going on, i can't even fathom how the hell you did it. gifmakers are magic, i swear.
@iinryer - YOUR ART FUELS ME. your style is so *clenches fist* fucking cool. the lines are simple but they still look like the characters?? i admire that so, so much because i know if i ever tried that they'd look so wonky, lol. i think about juice box chim all the damn time and i don't know where i've been lately but this one with buck and chris??? it's so soft and sweet and vulnerable, with the way buck is holding him and chris is nestled. GOD. everything you make is gold.
three (+1) things you're looking forward to in 2024:
getting my masters degree!
getting a job, maybe???
posting more buddie fic 👀
+ season 7 of 911, obviously.
i’m sure i’ve missed some people inadvertently but this was really fun to do! at this time of year, with the short days and cold weather (at least for some of us), i think we could all do with a little bit of joy and a brighter day. i really love this fandom and i'm so grateful to be a part of it!
tagging everyone i mentioned in this post, if you haven’t already done it and want to participate! ❤️
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janiedean · 3 years
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I feel bad for all the nice J*nsa shippers who like their ship for whatever reasons (tropes, pretty art, aesthetic appeal, whatever) and know it's not canon but get associated with the misogynistic Dany hating crowd who act like Jon being attracted to Ygritte is J*nsa foreshadowing because red hair (I guess Jon should fuck Edmure Tully too? Omg give me Dark!Jon getting revenge on Catelyn by seducing her brother!) Tell me something. I'm new to the fandom but was J*nsa popular before the show? And I've heard something about the OG J*nsa shippers being alienated by the new shippers who insisted it had to be canon and acted like the series is called, "A song of J*nsa #danysux." I don't find that hard to believe because I know people who are now ashamed of calling themselves J*nsa shippers. Like, at this point, it's not only rival shippers who hate it. Even Gendrya/Braime/Jon stans/etc have started disliking that ship. You know your fandom is a problem when people who have nothing to do with Jnsa have a problem with it.
me: reads this ask
me: iwastheregandalf.gif which I can't find now but
okay anon buckle up because I am sadly well-equipped to answer this ask but before I do lemme tell you dark jon seducing edmure to take revenge on cat is LITERALLY THE BEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD but *clears throat* ALL RIGHT THEN.
disclaimer: as anon says I have no issue with like the shippers mentioned by anon in the beginning and ngl I agree, I have ABSOLUTELY ZERO FUCKING STAKES in the j*nsa vs j*nerys war and the only het jon ship I gaf about is jon/ygritte and we all know where that ended up I just... have been here since 2011/adwd was over and all the fic around was just for the books under secret lj communities and asoiaf qualified for yuletide and I have... seen... things.... and I actually have like uh had... beef... with some people in there and I know things bc ppl who hated those others told me stuff so anyway *sigh* buckle up anon I'mma tell you the story of jon shipwars through the years
in order, the old gods help me here, under the cut bc this is long as fuck
when I got into fandom also given what numbers were on ao3 one ship was popular and it was sansan. no like sansan was lit. the only asoiaf ship on ao3 with more than 200 fics. jb had twenty when i checked first. jc had like around 100-ish because of the show but sansan dwarfed anything. I posted the first jon/ygritte fic on the ao3 tag and the fourth throbb fic and like the others were all reposts from lj kinkmemes. nothing was popular before the show except for sansan when it comes to huge numbers bc grrm doesn't like fic and it was all hush hush until the show made it impossible to control and that ship was the one with a huge enough fanbase it actually had numbers, so like... j*nsa wasn't popular in the way nothing else was popular until it got screentime on the show
now, that stated, j*nsa had a... fair amount of fic for a rareship which was mostly book-based and from og shippers that were there from before the show and liked it for what it was but literally none of them thought it was gonna be canon, like it wasn't huge or anything but it had a small but dedicated fanbase who did their own thing and thought it was fun/liked the idea but that was it
that fandom had their own niche of hcs that they cultivated and shit except that like... at the end of S5/beginning of S6 there was a surge in shipping for... well obvious reasons bc it was obv sansa was getting to the wall and that would have been all nice and good but a) it was the time puritanical shipping was starting to take root and the 'shipping sansa with sandor or tyrion is hella problematic' rhetoric had started to circle coming from sans*ery shippers mostly but I'mma not open that fucking can of worms here, b) while the ending of S5 had more of a theon/sansa spike, the j*nsa stuff started getting big
now here we have to mention my villain origin story ie: j*nsa fandom had this one stan whose name I won't make because honestly it's been years and if she's still around I don't want her to remember I exist who was a bnf, wrote for... the website that created the whole larry/carol thing etc who was really fixed on this thing that j*nsa was actually canon and started writing extremely popular meta about it. now you're gonna ask how do you know, I know because this person once wrote a meta named 'why robb stark is a dick' and I told her that it was really fucking bad meta and she took it so badly she kept on trash talking me on her blog/her podcast (I was apparently the insane robb stark fangirl l m a o good lord) and like that was when some sane ppl who argued with her informed me in pvt that she was basically harping on the CANON thing when they'd have been okay with like... it being crackshipping and that she was basically cultivating a hoarde of followers who were harping on them/the ogs and basically ostracizing them;
I would like to add that this person - before her tumblr got 'accidentally deleted' and remade it therefore deleted most receipts for, er, her so-called meta which included stuff like ned and cat raised sansa as a sexual object and only wanted to sell her like cattle - had at some point started a round robin fic thing where... some of the characters mocked openly said stuff that some of the og fans had said specifically targeting them and people in that side basically went harassing anyone who didn't agree with that specific notion
now never mind that this person basically coined an entire term to describe ppl who liked white guys and excused all their wrongdoings out of my conversation re robb basically lying about everything I said as if I didn't have the receipts and tried to sell shirts with it and it didn't work and like then she got kicked out of her own website because she was telling her commenters disagreeing pretty shitty insults (considering I was called psychotic for disagreeing with her that time I don't doubt it) I think at some point she stepped back from fandom bc idk wtf she's up to these days and I don't want to, but basically at that point the dam was broken and there was a bunch of puritanical shippers harping on anyone who didn't agree with j*nsa is canon endgame stuff
this also includes an incident when those ppl were like... passing themselves as throbb shippers and ended up trying to tell t*hramsay shippers off the theon tag based on moral reasons and I ended up arguing with all of them (and they were all from that crowd) which in turn landed me in contact with other og j*nsa shippers who were like detached from that fandom bc those same people harassed them away as well ssooooo fun
anyway when S6 happened everyone was high on it and whatnot but I wasn't gonna begrudge them that I mean... you shipped it for years, canon is delivering you, good for you, but then j*nerys happened
god j*nerys happened
aaand basically...... I mean personally I was there like are y'all seriously arguing about the best incest jon ship out there but like basically the j*nsa endgame side was like AH JON IS PLAYING DANY SEE IF IT DOESN'T HAPPEN, the j*nerys obv got defensive af and both sides were sort of alternatively shitting on jon/ygritte anyway and depicting any other romantic rship jon could have as abusive™ and during S8 it just got worse and like I tried to stay out of it but basically from what I'm seeing now idk how the j*neryses are doing but on the j*nsa one it's ah jon's gonna play dany anyway and she's going to go insane like in the show so SHOW TRUTHING EVERY OTHER WAY and like again denying that sandor exists or that tyrion exists and like I barely touch my corner (sansan) but I ended up arguing with j*nsa/th*nsa people on twitter who were antis and is2g it was white-hair inducing and I know for sure the sansa/tyrion shippers were harassed to hell and back throughout so FUN
and even if the show didn't go there now since everyone there banked on the jnsa endgame thing and admitting you're wrong is like... not a thing, they still haven't let go of it and attach to that ship any shred of evidence which honestly is grasping at straws half of the time (like... the sansa/alysanne parallels like guys please no) and which is why every other ship is starting to get fed up, attaching canon proof of stuff from other ships onto theirs see that batb argument and jb is platonic but jonsa is not nvm taking all the sansan stuff and throwing it on j*nsa but then denying that sansan has canon evidence (like guys I had to read sansa touching his shoulder when saying gregor wasn't a true knight wasn't meaningful and we were seeing things please) and blah blah blah
this also goes hand in hand with the fixation on like... villanizing dany at all costs and like is2g I have zero investment in dany or her storyline I don't even remember it and I don't particularly care abt her either way and sure af I'm not for j*nerys endgame but like.... some stuff I read is completely excessive esp when fixing on how she's a completely mad tyrant who's gonna have to be put down and like... guys no
(also there's some srs stannis hate in that corner which I honestly don't get why they even care abt stannis but I had to read stuff like ppl don't recognize that dany and stannis are the real villains in this saga and like........ idek)
I think most of the og shippers are gone or don't ship it openly bc they don't want to be attached to the drama but like I also think they're pissing off everyone else bc like... I mean a bunch of them also were down with sansa being paired with other ppl as long as it meant a good ending for her except those ppl were... like everyone but the ppl she has actual contact with in canon which meant that at some point sansa/gendry was a thing and like.... you can imagine why arya/gendry shippers & arya stans were fed up, and there's also this tendency to behave like sansa is the center of the entire saga which like these books is named a song of jon snow basically can we pls make peace with it and personally I've had it with both j*nsa and j*nerys people since they started with that dumbass JON/YGRITTE WAS AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP rhetoric but I'm also fed up with the total ignoring that sandor exists/depicting us as delusional and honestly I also was by proxy fed up from the harassing of the sansa/tyrion shippers soooooooooooo
there were also instances of 'well theon is an acceptable choice other than jon bc he can't threaten her' which... i mean we all know what that meant and I'm not even commenting it bc it's one AM and I have no force to but I don't have to explain why it's not a progressive take now do I
there were also metas about how cousin incest being legal in half of the world means that jondany is a worse incest and j*nsa doesn't count as such and I was basically there like guys please just fucking own up to it but honestly I chose to forgot where I read that and I couldn't find the link if I tried
tldr: no one wants to admit that it's not gonna be endgame which considering the amount of fic they have on ao3 is imvho useless bc they have more content than like.. anything I ship that's not jb or that's actually like canon *cries in joncon/rhaegar but I mean renly/loras is canon and has less fic than them* so idk what's the problem with enjoying that instead of insisting it's gonna be canon when not even the show validated it while show truthing anyway when the only show truthing that can be truthed is the small council made of minorities and possibly jon eventually fucking off with the wildlings but not like that but like most people who thought it wasn't gonna be endgame had left/were made to leave by the time S7 rolled by and at this point since wow isn't out yet everyone is fandom-grasping at straws to find stuff to discourse on and we're here beating dead horses *shrug*
so that's... how it is but I would again like to point out that I don't judge ppl on their shipping, I don't particularly care about this entire feud bc I only ship jon with ppl he's not related to in whichever way and I try to stay out of this mess bc I don't really care to argue with ppl who have already decided to bend canon to whatever they want and will have to realize that it's not what grrm wrote at some point but like I have a very good memory and the above rant is as objective as possible also bc again I don't literally have a stake in that race I just think romantic/endgame j*nsa is not a thing and that ppl should stay in their lane and not harping on other ppl who ship whatever in general but especially when their ship is the most popular thing in fandom in the first place /two cents
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hanijunk · 4 years
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Alright boys, girls, and nonbinary folks of the world. It’s 5:36am (1/30 when I first started) as I decide to give up on my attempt to continue to focus on learning statistics, avoid studying for my two upcoming midterms, and put off my two actual essays for two different classes.
Instead we’re going into a dive about ✨ KazuFuuma ✨ . Is this me telling you you gotta ship it? No of course not, you’re entitled to your own ships! You don’t really gotta care about it as a ship. But I do want people to recognize it’s THERE canonically, and how disregarding it is extremely unfair to Kazuki as a character particularly. Also, I’m working on the assumption anyone clicking this at least knows the bare bones about what KazuFuuma (ex. You know they are a ship of Kazuki/Fuuma from Dolce, you know they are childhood friends, you know who Dolce is, you know about Honeyworks, etc.) I’ll be making references to specific things, but I won’t always go into heavy detail. Might just hope you know it or take my word for what it is, and go into analyzing it. Some I’ll put direct references to find, but some I’ll trust you can find it yourself. If you somehow read this MAMMOTH and want reference to a specific thing mentioned, hmu I can help you find it!!
Also I hate tumblr formatting sm if you legit wanna read this 7 page essay but hate tumblr format lmk I'll add it as a google doc link instead too. anYWHO
Before actually getting into the meat of things lemme preface some stuff.
Again it’s like almost 6am so this will be disorganized and very train of thought (and likely long due to the fact when I fly by the seat of my pants I’m known to get unnecessarily extensive). It’s definitely gonna be in large part why it’s important to recognize as a romantic relationship foundation and what about it shapes Kazuki’s character in particular. Maybe a bit of how it’s been built up and its general focus and implications. Dunno yet. We’ll see LMAOO
I say f*ck. Not a lot, just a handful of times. This ain’t something scholarly this is for my own enjoyment so if you don’t like that might not wanna read. And it’s not like spitefully I just curse a lot if you haven’t...read my tags before lol
Again this is through the lens of a Kazuki stan. Of COURSE I’m going to have some level of bias, but if anything that bias may help more than hurt because that means I become FIXATED and think a lot about Kazuki. Which plays into establishing just how important it is that Kazufuuma’s relationship is recognized, especially in a romantic light at this point. Lmfao. 
I’ll have a few more prefaces about the actual content below but to keep this from getting too long if you wanna read come below the cut owo
I have extremely limited knowledge of Japanese just taking a few classes in highschool (so like 3 yrs ago) and live in America. This means a lot of my knowledge is gathered through the english translations of the super duper incredible and lovely people in the Honeyworks fandom who provide translations (delaix and takanenene esp have provided so much for me being able to understand Dolce) and my own limited Japanese paired with Google Translate for things that remain untranslated.
This only will be drawing on information I have come in contact with and have access to and making assumptions based on that, most (if not all) of which is in the public domain. So things like the Dolce Manga Volumes released via Animate, exclusive 4komas, and Light Novels are out of my area for the most part (apart from again snippets of translations thanks to this fandom’s godlike and generous translators).
I will not be drawing on anything from the first Dolce album with the exception of Nade Nade. From a meta standpoint, I consider those songs as songs made as performance media as opposed to character explorations. Nade Nade is the exception because (1) it was released a whole year before the album and (2) you can tell it’s explicitly an exploration of Fuuma and Kazuki’s interpersonal relationship even if it’s in a slightly more performance based context than the songs that came out with the Dolce LNs. Easiest parallel I can make to show this is if you held Non-Fantasy, Yume Fanfare, and Samishigariya up against each other, you could tell the difference in intended audience and intended purpose the same way the Dolce 1st album, Nade Nade, and the songs of the LNs do respectively. Even if there is some basis to ground Kazufuuma, for the purposes of this essay I’ll be acting under the assumption the 1st album falls under the Non-Fantasy equivalent category.
THAT WAS A LOT OF PREFACING CONSIDERING LIKE 2 PPL WILL PROBABLY READ IT I just have a tendency to anytime I do anything analytical lay down ground acknowledgements for myself to work on just...cuz it makes me feel less guilty for any accidental misinformation even if I’m writing towards my future self to read lolll IM SORRY WITHOUT FURTHER TO DO HERE’S THE BRAIN DUMP
First let’s go ahead and establish why it needs to be recognized as an important relationship. Again, I’m a Kazuki stan. He’s my favorite character not only of Dolce but also of the entire Honeyworks series, and as much as I love him for reasons outside the ship, whether you like it or not Kazufuuma is an essential aspect of his character and narrative. Of course there’s the fact that him and Fuuma are childhood friends, so that’s going to in part define their characters and interactions with each other and those around them. They’re both going to be relevant to one another and important to one another’s stories to an even greater extent than the rest of the members of Dolce. But on Kazuki’s side at least, it’s an EXTREME amount. A running plotpoint in Dolce Diary is the sheer amount of dedication Kazuki has to Fuuma and how much his thoughts and decisions are influenced by Fuuma, whether it be how he feels happiest spending time with Fuuma, how he decided to get his piercing to represent he wanted to protect Fuuma, how he doesn’t want to dislike food so he can eat what Fuuma dislikes, etc. Not to mention running jokes about his borderline overprotectiveness and downright possessiveness of Fuuma, how proud he is when Fuuma gets praised, or that one 4koma that literally explicitly states he can read Fuuma’s mind when he thinks motherfucking ‘dirty thoughts’ about his childhood friend (Fuuma). I still don’t know what the fuck to make of that last bit. Genuinely. Or the fact it’s a fucking running joke. As in it’s not a one off. It’s been brought up multiple times. Kazuki what the fuck. 
That’s not to say that he doesn’t have character outside of Fuuma or he doesn’t interact with people other than Fuuma. He’s great friends with Sara, Girisha, and Kippei and is shown time and time again to have fun interactions with all of them, generally acting as the best support friend for every member of the group, not Fuuma alone. For instance how he helps Kippei with his self confidence issues or stays over at Sara’s to protect him from a cockroach (which he fails at lol). Nor is that to say all his interactions involving Fuuma focus solely on his devotion to Fuuma, especially in instances where the manga focuses on Dolce as a group dynamic (though even in that setting there are times where jokes about his devotion are thrown in). He’s kind, he’s stupid, he’s friendly, he’s an amazing character in his own right, and I love him for all those reasons. But that doesn’t change the fact a major part of his character and his character interactions are rooted in Fuuma, and arguably some of his most interesting, eccentric, and notable behaviors and traits revolve around Fuuma (again the mind reading for example).
Hell let’s take it one step further. If you look at the character bios of the Dolce members, you get everyone’s motives for being an idol and interests. Of them, Kazuki is the only one to have another character mentioned directly, not to mention that supporting Fuuma is explicitly stated to be his primary motive as to why he became an idol. Not even Fuuma’s sister is mentioned, though two arguments can be made for this. The first would be that Fuuma’s backstory about wanting to fulfill his dream for himself and his sister was decided later to explain Fuuma’s choice to crossdress though it can be argued it was intentionally done to leave it as a reveal at a later date, to which I would argue I don’t think this backstory was a choice in post. While Fuuma’s dedicated Dolce Diary extra exploring that backstory was released a little less than a year after Dolce was revealed, the preview to set up Fuuma’s backstory was actually the first thing released after the character bios on the Dolce Official Twitter page if you exclude a drawing of Dolce from Yamako. The second argument could be that information about his sister was intentionally withheld to set up the reveal when Fuuma’s extra released to explore it. However, going by that logic (which I do agree with), that would also mean that Fuuma’s inclusion and importance in Kazuki’s character bio also set up his dedicated extra, which I don’t think would be incorrect to assume considering what his actual extra turned out being.
Which brings me to the thing that makes it inexplicable to write off the romantic implications behind Kazufuuma: Kazuki’s dedicated Dolce Diary extra, Suki. I shipped Kazufuuma before even knowing of Suki, sure. But the fact that Suki even exists is a shock to me and drove into me the fact that Kazufuuma wasn’t just my own projection. Again, it’s not a surprise that Fuuma shapes Kazuki’s life. They’re childhood friends, of course they’re going to be important to each other. But this extra explicitly brought Kazuki’s feelings towards Fuuma under a direct spotlight. At first I was thinking oh, this extra was just to acknowledge the fact that Kazuki and Fuuma’s relationship can have romantic implications, but the end of it the conclusion that we got was that it didn’t matter what type of “like” he felt for Fuuma. Originally, I thought it wasn’t anything more than saying there are all types of like, and it doesn’t always need to be explicitly defined, but I appreciated the fact they were aware that they were writing Kazuki in a way that conveyed romantic implications. 
Then I thought about it because, again, I love Kazuki of course I’m going to think about his character extra, and realized...that’s not how these character extras have worked. There are only three character extras out as far as I know and have read: Fuuma, Kippei, and Kazuki. If we look at Fuuma and Kippei’s, each extra had a conclusion, sure, but they didn’t have a resolution. Rather, they were simply setting up explicitly what each character’s primary character arc and conflict were. Fuuma’s extra brought attention to the fact that he’s particularly a crossdressing idol by exploring the motives behind it. His choice to be a crossdressing idol is constantly under fire both by himself and the world around him. He’s not immune to those who consider his crossdressing strange, and a part of his story is both finding people who accept his decision to crossdress and to succeed for himself as a crossdressing idol. It’s an essential part of how we understand and define him as a character and it’s a central part of how he interacts with the world around him. For Kippei, it lays the severity of his insecurity under the spotlight and his journey and motives for improving himself. Again, this isn’t something isolated and resolved in the extra; his extreme insecurity and negativity is constantly affecting how he interacts with practically everyone from his fellow Dolce members to his fans despite the fact in all honesty? He’s fucking insanely talented in his own right, his own brother mentioning how smart he is and how he has amazing reflexes. For Kippei, his negativity is an essential part of how we understand and define him and central to how he interacts with the world as much as Fuuma’s decision to crossdress is to him.
Which brings us back to Kazuki, of course. In his dedicated extra, in the chapter that’s supposed to explore and establish and bring attention to an essential part of his character, the aspect of himself under investigation is how he feels about Fuuma. It’s not just how he behaves around Fuuma, it’s explicitly an exploration of his feelings, on top of the fact it’s explicitly an exploration about whether or not he likes Fuuma r o m a n t i c a l l y. Literally the conflict is spurred on by someone outright asking “Do you like him?” and having to clarify “I mean romantically.” What they decided to focus on for Kazuki’s character and emphasize and establish is that Kazuki’s like towards Fuuma toes the line between friendship and romance. His ambiguous feelings towards Fuuma (if we leave them inconclusive as Suki did) are just like Fuuma’s crossdressing and Kippei’s insecurity in the sense the weight of whatever those feelings may be are seen in how he interacts with the world around him and influences his behaviors. It would be another story if they introduced the potential and shut it down all within the extra, because then his central conflict would to me be less directly open to romantic potential and more simply about how his arc was meant to explore the dynamic of the behavior of an extremely dedicated best friend. The fact that he may be romantically attracted to Fuuma or may be only platonically dedicated to Fuuma is instead something that looms over Kazuki in the same way Fuuma’s decision to crossdress constantly looms over him. It’s what Dolce wanted to point to and say this is Kazuki’s central character conflict and central arc: exploring what type of feelings he has towards Fuuma. 
Sure, it can be argued that there’s only three Dolce Diary character extras, there’s not enough to be sure about that being the purpose of the extras unless we get the other two’s extras. First, at this point I honestly don’t know if or when they’re going to release an extra revolving around Sara and Girisha just because not only has it been over a year and a half since the latest Dolce Diary Character Extra (Kazuki’s) was released despite the gap between the first and latest Dolce Diary Character Extra (Fuuma’s and Kazuki’s) were within a year of release but also because the Dolce 4komas and comics they’ve been posting to Twitter have decreased (last one being over half a year ago) potentially due to them deciding to focus on releasing Dolce manga content through the purchasable volumes instead. (This is not particularly related to the Kazufuuma argument, just wanted to put out there my two cents on what Sara and Girisha’s extra/focal arc would be. Based on a large part of the Dolce Diary in conjuncture with Can’t an Idol Fall in Love, I’d argue Sara’s would be his journey to regain his passion for performing, and if it’s not that I’d say it’d be coming out of his self-imposed isolation and opening up to people again. As for Girisha, I have less of a concrete idea but I’m assuming it’d be something pertaining to how people often misconceive him whether it be in tandem with his determination, his optimism and sociability, or his stupidity/ability to ignore those misconceptions and work past them. But Girisha is treated like the comedic relief 90% of the time so I’m not entirely sure, but his primary conflict is definitely rooted in misconceptions of him being his roadblock imo. #MoreGirishaContentPlz) That being said, I personally feel like the three are already enough evidence, especially considering it would be honestly even more cruel for Kazuki’s character-centric extra to be focusing on something that wasn’t essential to his character and character arc, anyway. And though it’s not explicitly stated that these chapters are extras exploring a central character, you can kind of tell based on how they are (to my knowledge) the only Dolce Diary updates with cover/title cards each which include their focal character front and center. So working off that fact, the Kazuki-centric chapter established that a pillar to his narrative was his feelings towards Fuuma and that those feelings are still open to romantic potential. 
But if you follow me, this is why up until Can’t an Idol Fall in Love With Another Idol’s release, I was terrified of them writing that off. I would have been ok if it was just an arc that was given attention then continued to actively work in the background, as all the character arcs have been over all of Dolce’s content. The fact that they might be giving Fuuma a love interest and giving Fuuma a love arc while Kazuki’s feelings were still up in the air and were still the primary highlighted narrative for him would have been fucking scuffed. To me, it would be like… why would they make him so Fuuma-centric to the point that even his dedicated chapter was not just focused on Fuuma but focused on the ambiguity and potential of him having romantic feelings for Fuuma, yet reduce him to being Fuuma's designated right-hand man. Don’t get me wrong, friendships are just as important as romantic relationships. But again, rather than conclude Kazuki’s answer in Suki to be that his feelings were of friendship, they left it open ended and allow audience members to be actively aware that Kazuki’s feelings towards Fuuma still had potential to be romantically coded. It would just be so weird to quickly close off that narrative by giving Fuuma a love interest as opposed to letting Kazuki conclude it himself. It would be fucking beyond frustrating for me, at least Eventually, I kept trying to drive my hopes that they would explore Kazuki’s narrative at all down to the ground because it was a Fuuma-centric novel; maybe if anything they’d explore those feelings in his own novel after the fact. But then they kept having little drops here and there of Kazuki being even the slightest bit relevant and I’d go back to questioning “Are??? They??? Is this on purpose??? Do they know what they’re doing or are they just doing this because Kazuki’s just so important to Fuuma as his best friend that he’s there as his right-hand I genuinely can’t tell???” And um. Welp.
Safe to say Can’t An Idol Fall in Love sold me on the fact that they know what they’re doing LOL. And to anyone who thinks that Kazuki’s feelings can still be read as ambiguous in CAIFILWAI as opposed to explicitly romantic - whether it be due to a fear they may pull the “I like him as a friend” card or due to the disbelief that they have an explicit mlm main character in the Honeyworks series - I’d like to cover any bases that may make you think this way. If you think it’s just Kazuki acting like a protective friend, why do you think he calls Yui a rival? If you’ve only seen the MV and think it’s ambiguous or can be taken as the "likfe" for friend, then does that mean you think Yui’s feelings toward Fuuma are also ambiguous or as a friend? With the way Yui responds, she is trying to rival Kazuki’s feelings towards Fuuma. She and Kazuki recognize whatever feeling it is that they hold towards Fuuma, both of their feelings are the same type. I don’t think most people would argue that Yui’s confession about Fuuma was one of pure respect and friendship. Plus, if anything I’d argue of the three characters in the MV, Fuuma is the one whose feelings are left the most ambiguous despite him being the central character. It’s heavily implied that he may be forming feelings for Yui, but nowhere is it established either in the song or in the MV, especially if you compare it to Kazuki and Yui’s declarations or if you compare it to Sara’s feelings for Uru in Can’t An Idol Fall in Love. Fuuma’s romantic narrative here is trying to figure out how he feels for Yui, while for Kazuki and Yui they’ve established a rivalry because they both have mutually established they like Fuuma romantically.
If the MV isn’t enough for you and Suki isn’t enough for you for...some reason…??? You can check out the snippets of the light novel which the wonderful takanenene translated: one which revisits the conflict set up in Suki and one that covers the confession scene in the MV in more detail. If the fact that the conflict set up in Suki (aka the lurking feeling of not knowing if all he felt for Fuuma was only platonic or more than platonic) was specifically reestablished in the LN for anyone who didn’t keep up with Dolce Diary didn’t tip you off that it was something important, his behavior in the confession scene as depicted by the LN definitely should have. He’s possessive about his spot by Fuuma’s side. He doesn’t want that spot to be taken by anyone else. Even if he knows that they can help Fuuma, he wants it to be him. And this line: “Kazuki then trails off his words, quietly saying ‘That’s why…’ and then gave Yui a slightly painful smile, his cheeks turning red,” before he declares Yui a rival and states he likes Fuuma. If you can tell me you read that line and are still on the fence about Kazuki’s “like” towards Fuuma being romantic, please message me and I will see how I can get through to you. Like it wasn’t even just a romantically coded confession. It’s just a romantic confession. That “like” is romantic. And I’m so proud that he’s not only come to understand for himself how he feels, but that he’s confident enough to ask the person he sees as a romantic rival to speak in private and not only clarify her feelings for Fuuma but before she can even do that firmly establishes that he loves Fuuma with conviction. Kazuki my boy I’m so proud of you. *sniffs*
And that’s it for establishing Kazufuuma as at least canonically one-sidedly canon and why there’s not only no reason to deny it but also why denying it is a fucking disrespectful move towards Kazuki. He’s a character, sure, but that doesn’t change the fact you shouldn’t write off his struggle to come to be convicted enough to say it out loud. This has been something weighing on him at least a year, if not more (all I know is it started when both he and Fuuma were in some year in middle school). And as a character in a piece of media, I’ve been saying this the entire time, but brushing it off as non-romantic is literally chucking a fucking pillar of his character’s story into the gutter. And to those who may be saying Kazuki’s confession came out of nowhere and is pandering reread this entire fucking essay again I dare you to do it and tell me to my face it’s pandering. Again. Writing off the buildup as pandering is disrespectful to him, disrespectful to his character and narrative, and disrespectful to the wonderful people who have been creating Dolce so diligently and have crafted this narrative for us. Saying his “supposed feelings” and “ambiguous confession” is pandering is like saying Fuuma’s crossdressing is pandering which. If you say either of those I will find you and I will shank you in the fucking gut. Even if you’re not fully into Dolce, recognize these characters are actually very well developed and executed amazingly, as per every Honeyworks character that has come to exist. I don’t blame you if you weren’t aware of the weight of Kazufuuma, but now that you read this I hope you are. That’s mainly what I needed to get out there, but as follows will be me more exploring how Kazufuuma has been built up and generally waving my hand off at where it may be going. If you want you can dip, thanks for reading up to here because I know I repeated a lot because it’s just. So important to drill into your head and has been something I’ve been hung up about constantly. LOL
As for where exactly they’re taking it from this point on, I honestly don’t know. In all honesty, I didn’t even expect them to take it the direction they did. But honestly, I think the direction they went with it is really interesting and better than I could have imagined, in my opinion at least. Honeyworks never ceases to amaze me with their storytelling and narrative choices, and I don’t think there’s any that stand out to me as being severely questionable that they haven’t reapproached at some point down the line. And, again, I think they’re treating this with a lot of care and deserved respect. So I’m just gonna be gushing about how smart they set it up and how smart they’ve been executing it and maybe my own hopes on the direction it could go.
Whether they make Kazufuuma reciprocated I have no real clue or bearings, but to me my gut reaction is they will. Of course, I’m biased, but again if you trace things all the way back to 2018 and step through Dolce’s content and growth from there, I’d say even if they didn’t know if they could execute it like this and see it to fruition, I’d argue that Kazufuuma has been at least heavily implied since the beginning as a relationship they wanted to explore from both sides of the relationship. Obviously I brought up Kazuki’s character bio already, but if you look at the *goes to count* 5th Dolce Diary update already has a joke jabbing at the fact that Kazuki is technically Fuuma’s type (and the way Kippei and Kazuki excitedly react is so cute). The fifth update. And as stated before there are tons of Kazufuuma moments in Dolce Diary, whether it’s played for comedic effect or played straight (and this is post Suki but oh my god I’ve said it before I’ll say it again get yourself someone who looks at you the way Kazuki looks at Fuuma oh my jesus). But song-wise, I mentioned the one Dolce album song I would bring up is Nade Nade and this is where it comes! 
Not only is Nade Nade specifically focused on Kazuki and Fuuma’s relationship as opposed to the whole of Dolce despite being the first song, it included the setup/preview of the Fuuma-centric extra prior to the full release of the Fuuma-centric extra itself and was released early as fuck. Literally between the 6th and 7th update to Dolce Diary. Sure, it could be to isolate them as a duo for marketing purposes (they’re very often the two promoted idols together if the whole of the group aren’t included), but the way it’s established as a perspective song as opposed to a general idol duet is what fascinates me. Anyone who didn’t know about Dolce prior and only followed Honeyworks for music would be first introduced to these characters through this song alone, and maybe this is where my Kazufuuma bias comes from but I was one of those people LOL. I thought it was just a cute one-off relationship that they had set up for the purpose of a song and that it was an implied friends-to-lovers story that would never get a conclusion. Also I mistakenly thought Fuuma was a girl oop-. In the full context of Dolce, this song in part helped establish Fuuma and Kazuki more solidly as a unique duo out of all of Dolce, but it also specifically explored through Fuuma’s eyes just how much Fuuma recognizes and appreciates the unwavering support Kazuki gives him to follow his dreams as he wishes. For Fuuma, he loves Kazuki too, though whether it holds any romantic potential in the same way Kazuki loves him has never been explored to nearly the same extent. But Fuuma appreciates how Kazuki’s remained by his side and does everything he can to support him, so Nade Nade explores how his way of expressing his love and thankfulness to Kazuki is by never saying that he needs Kazuki by his side. He’s glad Kazuki’s always been there for him, and his reciprocation takes on the form of being ready to unwaveringly support Kazuki and not ask for more than he already has, even if it meant Kazuki would be leaving his side, despite the fact that he really does wish they could remain together forever just as Kazuki does. The one point he lets himself say something vaguely close to always wanting to stay together, he gets a surprised expression out of Kazuki and says an ambiguous “suki dayo.” Of course, this it much less romantically coded than what we get from Kazuki in Suki and CAIFILWAI, but there is an interesting emphasis put on it nonetheless. Keep in mind, this is all established through the song, which released long before not only Fuuma’s character-centric extra released but also Kazuki’s character-centric extra released, so there is at least a substantial setup for Fuuma’s feelings towards Kazuki’s being strong as well and possibly grow to be reciprocated one day.
I think for me the most fascinating part about Nade Nade is how they tied it back around to Can’t An Idol Fall In Love with Another Idol. Again, without remembering Nade Nade, I still thought CAIFILWAI was brilliantly explored and executed, even if some people would have preferred no love triangle. But honestly, revisiting Nade Nade makes me trust even more the direction they’re taking with this. Whether or not they make Kazufuuma canon mutually (which. Even if they for some inexplicable reason didn’t I’m going down with this ship.), I’m sure they’re putting a lot of thought into the story, because the last bit of Nade Nade directly parallels the misunderstanding that arose from Fuuma mishearing the Kazuki and Yui. Fuuma is resolved to support Kazuki in any area he’s given the chance, and that explicitly includes if Kazuki had some girl he liked, which is what he assumes is going on. The fact that they tied this back around in the form of a misunderstanding was really really smart and Honeyworks is always so good at parallels and references back to their older songs, but for some reason I didn’t expect this. I don’t know how to say why, but the fact that the song that started it all, kicked off both Dolce and Kazufuuma, was directly referenced both visually in the MV with a cameo at the start and narratively despite the central dynamic being predominantly explored in this story in particular was that of Fuuma and another potential love interest and involves said potential love interest for some reason makes me think that (sorry Yui) this is all planned out for Kazufuuma in the grand scheme of things. That being said, I don’t know if me thinking it was planned all along is just me with shipper goggles, but the idea it’s come full circle nearly 3 years later is not shipper goggles and a very very well done parallel in my opinion, whether this trajectory was their plan for Kazufuuma from the beginning or not. Just wanted to gush about that some more. 
There’s more I could go into especially if I went into specific details about interactions or specific implications established in Honeyworks' Dolce content about different characters that would be fascinating to explore in relation to and under the lens of Kazufuuma, but I think this is uh...plenty long enough. Plus, I doubt you'll stop seeing Kazufuuma posts from me so those ideas will probably just be miniposts or somethin.
Back to the overarching point of this segment, idk what they’ll do with this story in the end, but do I think Kazufuuma will canon? I’m used to looking at ships that aren’t explicitly apparent with a sliver of skepticism, but all things considered (as I stated before) yeah. I don’t see reason why they wouldn’t now that they’ve explicitly identified there is a romantic dimension to it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Like to me, the setup isn’t something that would be written off as unrequited? And this doesn’t have to play into why I don’t think it will canon, my personal opinion on the Fuuyui relationship (again albeit through the lens of a hard Kazufuuma shipper lmao) has it’s own merits and is really cute, I find it cute in the way I found Koyuhina cute. I personally never really shipped Koyuhina, and especially since they slipped Kotarou into Ima Suki Ni Naru I was more curious about who this kid was and how he played into things I didn’t really see Koyuhina as something that would come to fruition. Similarly, there’s more importance in the overall sense on Kazuki than there is Yui (considering he’s one of the 5 original and focal members of this generation of idols, this would be natural), as well as the fact there’s just way more foundation and exploration in Fuuma and Kazuki’s relationship than there is Fuuma and Yui. As for how much of a balance there is inside the LN itself, the fact that they seem to have spent a substantial amount relaying the foundation of Fuuma and Kazuki’s relationship and re-exploring it (at least in Kazuki’s perspective) at all on top of how much content there is covering their relationship prior to the LN ever since Dolce’s origin just feels like that relationship holds more weight. Pretty much Kazufuuma feels more established as a priority in general. The way I personally hope Fuuyui plays out is whether they wind up holding mutual feelings or not or whether Fuuma doesn’t feel that way towards Yui is they get a relationship akin to Kotarou and Arisa. Albeit, Kotarou and Arisa never viewed each other in a romantic light, but they had mutual respect and solidarity. That’s the type of friendship I hope comes out of Fuyui. And considering there hasn’t been a break-up in any Honeyworks’ canon relationships (nor do I expect there to be… they’re all perfect for each other LMAO) it would actually be interesting if Fuuyui get together but don’t endgame and Kazufuuma is established as the inseparable endgame after some realization or another, though I don’t expect them to go that route nor do I know if that’d be the best way to go about it anyway. Also final point, Honeyworks seems to have a thing for childhood friends trope anyway soooooo owo All in all, don’t know where they’re taking it, just excited to see where it goes. 
TL;DR of this *counts* 7 page essay, stan Kazufuuma. Not gonna proof this. Maybe I’ll edit and repost but yall are getting a confusing clusterfuck of ramblings over 2-3 hr periods of me writing across 3 different days at around 5am each day. Uh. If you got this far like and subscribe and-- jk plz reply to this mammoth anywhere you see fit or tell me if you have stuffs to add or counter or whatnot I like hearing people talk about Kazufuuma ;w; I am Kazuki and Kazufuuma brainrot can you tell after reading this? No? Lemme just remind you I’m K--
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kyidyl · 4 years
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Kyidyl Explains Bones - Part 3
Well, I had this halfway done and then TUMBLR ATE IT, so let me start again.  UGH.  
(These posts are collected under the KyidylBones tag. Do with that information what you will, lol.) 
So what are we getting into today? Sex determination! 
Ethical Note: I’m adding this bc not everyone who sees this post saw my post yesterday and this is important info, especially on Tumblr.  Anthropologists of all stripes are well aware that sex and gender are extremely complicated.  Trust me, we know.  But we still do sex determination for a few reasons.  First, because missing persons databases are arranged on a male/female binary, and if we’re comparing a set of remains to that database to identify the remains then we need that info.  Second, demographic info for populations that have disappeared is important, even if those populations are historical.  This might shock you (<--sarcasm), but written records are usually either lacking or inaccurate.  Third, if we know the sex of the skeleton we can compare that to the grave goods and learn some interesting cultural things, including possibly being trans, because none of the signs of being trans survive physically in the skeleton.  So I am going to be using male/female binary language, but it isn’t to exclude the wide variety of sexes and genders that don’t exist on that binary, it’s because it’s what I’ve got to work with.  And if you have questions about this, feel free to ask, but please be respectful.  
Alright, so there are some vocab words for today’s post and I had them all nicely written out in an easy to read paragraph, but it got eaten, so I’m just gonna present them in list fashion this time: 
Characteristic - All physical markers of human variation exist on a spectrum because humans are varied and we invented the categories to begin with.  If something is characteristic of, say, a male? It means that it is very, very distinctly male.  It matches the stereotypical expectation of what you’d see in a male.  It’s a standard for an obvious example of a given thing.  
Landmark - A landmark on your bones is a feature of the bones that is always in the same place.  We use this to help us identify a bone and to help us know what side it is on.  IE, your lesser trochanter is a bump on your femur (thigh bone) that is on the inside towards the back.  It’s always in that spot, so we know which direction it should face and ergo which side it would be on.  Landmarks are unique to the bone in question.  
Foramen - A hole on a bone.  The big one in your skull that your spinal cord goes through is the foramen magnum and it literally means big hole.  But there are a lot of little ones all over your skeleton so your nerves and blood vessels can do to your skeleton what the weirwood did to Bryden Rivers.  I said what I said. ;) 
Bilateral - Both sides.  Humans have bilateral symmetry and so one side is symmetrical (externally and WRT your skeleton, but not always your organs.) to the other.  You can split us down the middle and the two sides are basically the same.  
Ok, so there’s another set of terms that you need to know, but I’m going to be copying and pasting this into every post going forward so I’m making it separate.  Anyone who works with any kind of anatomy uses these terms to be very specific about the location of something on the body.  They are: 
Anterior/Posterior - Front and back respectively.  I remember them because my mom used to say posterior when she didn’t want to say butt, and because A comes before P the way front comes before back.  Sometimes people say dorsal and ventral, and I remember that because a dorsal fin is on a whale’s back.  
Proximal/Distal - Near and far vertically in relationship to the center of your body.  I remember it because one end of the bone is in close proximity to me and the other one is distant.  
Medial/Lateral - Near and far horizontally in relationship to the center of your body.  I remember it because medial is closer to the middle of my body, and lateral isn’t medial.  Also, if you are reading left to right L comes before M and you’d get to a lateral body part before a medial one.  
So, where to begin? How do we know what sex people were assigned at birth from just their skeleton? Let’s start with what everyone is most familiar with: 
The Pelvis
The pelvis of an adult human is a really common thing for an archaeologist to find.  And by the time we find it, it’s usually in three pieces (excluding your tailbone aka last vertebra).  Your left and right hip bones, called the innominates, and your sacrum.  Mind you, the pelvis is made up of a number of bones, but they all fuse in adulthood except these three (fun fact: I’m so used to using the individual names for them that I had to *google* the word innominate.), so this is what we usually find.  If it’s a kid, they still survive well because they’re thick, heavy bones, but they aren’t fused.  Another fun fact, the bumps of bone that you feel under your ass are called your ischium and I’m only telling you that because I think it’s a fun word to say.  Your hop bones, like the actual entirety of the flat bladed part at the top, that’s called the Illium.  I like that word too.  Aaanyway, here’s a human pelvis: 
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These are actual bone specimens in the top down view, both are women, but they are of different ethnic origin.  
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This is a cast (IE, plastic), front view of a male pelvis.  
You can see those 3 pieces I’m talking about.  The only joint there that remains unfused is the sacroiliac joint, IE, where the two halves of the pelvis join the sacrum.  However! You sacrum is technically a series of fused vertebrae and your spinal cord runs almost all the way to the very tip.  There are some conditions which cause these not to fuse, or to not fuse properly, or to not properly encase the spinal cord and it causes all KINDS of issues.  But anyway, yeah, your sacrum is a really tough hunk of bone because it carries a lot of weight.  The bit in the front is called the pubic symphysis and, despite what certain tumblr posts would have you believe, having children does NOT leave a notch on the inner side of it from the muscle tearing away tiny chunks of the bone.  In fact, it is hotly debated whether or not pregnancy leaves behind any skeletal evidence at all.  
Alright, so basically speaking, females make da babies and males don’t, so the different equipment is differently shaped......
.....wait, no, that’s not right.  Let’s back up.  Male and female humans are differently proportioned and their center of gravity is, on average, different.  This is the whole thing about men having upper body strength and women having thighs that can crush watermelons.  This is on *average* (I will be saying a lot about averages in these posts.) true.  And so the physics of the forces exerted on your bones is different.  Males are top-heavy, and so their pelvis is shaped in response to their gate and muscle structure because the pelvis supports and distributes the weight of your entire body.  And bipedalism means that the shape of the pelvis is very, very different depending on the weight distribution.  These changes to the pelvis are really obvious, which is why we can tell from just a few bones whether or not a hominin was bipedal.  It changes the *entire* body.  
It is true though that the pelvis of a female is different than a male, because a female pelvis has to be able to support the weight of a developing child while still allowing the individual to walk.  So the interaction of average size, a uterus, and the bipedal gate means that male and female pelvises are a different shape.  
Here is a comparison: 
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So firstly, that angle is called the sub-public angle, and because a females pelvis is wider and flatter than a male’s (when viewed from the front) it’s wider in the front.  This also gives any babies more room.  Secondly, you can see the difference in the tilt of the sacrum - in the female you can’t see the tailbone.  This, again, is due to the confluence of weight distribution and the necessity of passing a baby’s head through that space.  It would be a lot harder to push it out if you had a tailbone in the way.  Lastly, you can see that the shape of the circle when you look top down and bottom up are different - wider on the woman because of the same reasons I’ve already mentioned.  There is one more major difference between the male and female pelvis, and that’s the sciatic notch: 
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(Source)
Characteristic of male on the left, intermediate in the middle, and female on the right (and dang, she was young, too.).  Thinner is male, wider is female.  Usually you can fit your thumb in a female’s notch but barely or not at all in a male.  I personally find the subpubic arch and the sciatic notch the easiest to use because, fun fact #2, those 3 sections are a bitch to hold together with your hands and that makes it hard to see the other shapes.  The amount of sacrums and pelvic bones I’ve accidentally dropped while trying to determine sex....it’s a lot, ok? It’s a lot.  I only have two hands and pelvises are big.  
There are also several less obvious ways of determining sex from a skeleton, so you guys should definitely visit the source for the above image because they go into it deeper and there are several excellent images of public bones.  
So how else do we determine sex? The next easiest way is from the skull, because the features are distinct and skulls survive well.  
The Skull
In my opinion the easiest landmark to use on a skull for sex determination is the jaw.  There are several features of the jaw that can be used here - and, mind you, when determining sex we measure every small and large sex-linked feature according to a scale and then average it all out.  We never look at any single thing (although sometimes the individual has something so characteristic that you can’t help it.  The individual in my position has a brow like a neanderthal, so it was pretty obvious.).  Anyway, there are several features here but the easiest is to look at the shape of the lateral distal posterior portion of the jaw.  It’s called the masseteric tuberosity.  Basically, it’s a little bit of bone that sticks out of the back of your jaw.  It’s one of the attachment points of the masseter aka chewing muscles attach.  Because males have stronger muscles pulling on that part of the jaw and exerting more force, it flares out further for them when you look at it from the front, like this: 
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(Source)
It’s that sticky-outy thing thing that I circled in red.  Here is an example of the same thing on females: 
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Female jaws are rounder, and so that bit is less defined, flares out less, and is not as sharp as it is on males.  And this is a reminder that these measures aren’t absolutes - humans have a lot of variance in them.  The female asian and the male on the right both have somewhat atypical structures, while the female european and the two other males have a very characteristic structure.  
The two other easiest to identify are the shape of the brown line and the shape of the chin (the mental protuberance).  Here is an image of the comparison: 
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(Source: Pinterest, but this images are from the Human Bone Manual text that I use and I used this image so I wouldn’t have to make my own. :P) 
You can see in the profile that the female skull has a higher, more vertical forehead with less pronounced brow ridges.  If you look, you can also see that her chin protrudes less in profile, and is softer and less pronounced in the frontal view.  The angle under her teeth is less severe.  
So these three things, the chin, the brow, and the jaw, are the easiest to identify the most likely to be characteristic of the sex of the individual.  But, if you compare the images I’ve used here you’ll also notice that there are other differences in the skull.  Females have more of a slope to the bottom of their jaw, the bump on the back of their heads (the occipital protuberance) tends to be far less pronounced; and this is the case for all muscle attachments generally speaking.  On average, males are more easily able to build muscle mass and are larger, and so their muscles pull harder on their skeletons and create larger muscle attachments.  The round, blunt thing to the right of the back of the jaw that sticks out from the skull (the mastoid process), is also at a different angle and is larger in males.  This is another case of the muscles being bigger and stronger - the mastoid process is where several of your jaw and neck muscles attach.  
There you have it, then.  The easiest ways to tell the sex of a skeleton.  :) 
This post has been approved by Gage the science doggo: 
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marvelslut16 · 4 years
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What were you thinking?
Prompt number: 14 “You better leave now.”
Fandom: Marvel
Paring: Sam Wilson x reader
Rating: T
Word count: 1.5k
Warnings: Swearing. A man that can’t take no. Dumbasses who are oblivious to each others affections. A terrible Hawkeye pun. Reader called a slut. 
A/N: This is day 10 of fictober, it was my moms birthday so I spent it with her and not on tumblr. But when I logged into tumblr this morning I saw that this fic didn’t post at it’s scheduled time, so here it is a day late. First time writing Sam so I’m sorry if it sucks. 
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Tony’s endless galas could be fun, you had an excuse to dress up instead of being stuck in your Avengers gear, and it always includes a free bar. The downside is the hoards of drunken men that hit on you that can’t seem to take no for an answer. And tonight is no exception, dressed in a black dress with a slit up your right leg, men can’t seem to stay away from you. 
You sigh as Nat hands you a refill, she had snuck behind the bar moments earlier to make yours and her drinks extra strong. Both of you going through relationship woes, more like non-existent relationship woes. Her eyes never seem to leave Clint for long, he’s standing on the balcony above the ballroom watching the guests like a hawk, his job never seeming to be done. When Nat does look away you catch his longing gaze on her. The two dumbasses can’t see the love they have for each other buried under their years of friendship. 
Your eyes trail from Clint back onto the main floor only stopping when they land on Sam’s back, he’s standing next to your favorite couple Steve and Bucky. Nat gives you a sympathetic look while you just roll your eyes at the three women hanging onto Sam’s every word, and two more clinging to his arms. At least Clint only has eyes for Nat and she doesn’t have to watch the man she loves be flirted with constantly. 
You were with Steve when he met Sam back in DC, and you were immediately enraptured with his sarcasm and dry sense of humor. Steve was always your closest friend on the team, but that quickly changed when you befriended Sam and you became inseparable. For a few months, about two years ago,  you were convinced Sam had feelings for you. Everyone around you said he was being obvious; always spending days off with you, nights at bars after a rough mission attached to your side, volunteering to go on missions with you when you needed a partner, and demanding he go as backup when you had a different partner. You let your hopes get the better of you and you let the walls around your heart fall for him.
But you built them back stronger, thicker, and taller than before when he invited a woman he met at a bar one night to be his date to a gala. Prior to that you were each other's dates, always matching his tie color to match your dress, but suddenly that stopped with no warning or no specific event to blame for his change of heart. So for the past two years you had each either gone stag or with your flavors of the month. 
You lean back on the bar, trying to stop from seeing red as the woman draped on his left arm leans up and nibbles on his earlobe. You catch both Steve and Bucky sending you looks of pity, if you weren’t trained to be so observant you wouldn’t have caught them, that’s how fast they are. A tall handsome man leans on the bar next to you, arm draped on the bartop behind your back, his front facing your right side. 
You look at him through your eyelashes; he’s taller than Sam, at least six and a half feet, his skin not as rich and chocolatey in color, and his eyes didn’t hold that same look that sparked a fire in your soul and core. But he’d do for the night. You send Nat a quick wink before turning your attention to the mysterious man on your right, focusing your attention solely on him. 
“You wanna dance gorgeous?” the Cheshire grin that splits across his face is momentarily off putting, you can already tell that this man has never been told no in his life.
“You bet,” you grin and agree anyway. What’s the harm in a little fun anyway? 
Once on the dance floor he pulls you in tight, chest to chest. Your slightly tipsy and hazy mind ignores the warning sounds being fired off in your brain. Instead you dance with him, letting his body lead yours in the slow song. Throughout the song the man, whom you still don’t know the name of, his hand slowly slips closer and closer to the curve of your ass. The next song is a bit faster so you start to pull away like the rest of the couples on the dancefloor, instead of letting you go the man’s large hands grab you by the ass and press you up against him again. 
Your eyes widen as your eyes frantically search for one of your friends: your eyes go to the balcony but it’s Clint free, he’s talking with Nat at the bar; Tony and Pepper are in a quiet corner saying goodnight to Morgan, who’s being watched by Happy and May; you finally find Bucky and Steve standing just off the dance floor, both sets of eyes locked on something behind you. 
Before you can turn around and see what's causing Bucky to smirk and Steve to have a knowing grin, the hands are being ripped off of your ass and you're pulled into a firm, familiar, chest. You relax slightly as Sam wraps you in his arms and holds you securely to him. 
“What the fuck?” the man you had been dancing with swears a little too loudly, eyes from surrounding party goers are now on the situation. Their murmurs alert more and more people to the possible fight brewing in front of them between an Avenger and some millionaire over another Avenger. 
“I think you best leave,” Sam grits his teeth, arms squeezing you a little tighter. The man lets out a sound halfway between a scoff and a laugh, rolling his eyes at Sam. 
“Do you even know who I am?” the man tries to intimidate Sam by staring him down. 
“No, and quite frankly, I don’t care,” Sam moves you from his chest to where he’s standing in front of you slightly, but keeping an arm around your waist. “You made (Y/N) uncomfortable, so all I know is that you better leave now.” 
“Well if she wasn’t dressed like such a slut-” Sam’s arm unwraps from you, he’s forming a fist and getting ready to take a swing. 
“Oh how original,” you roll your eyes from behind Sam, moving to stand beside him. “Let me guess, it took you all night to come up with that excuse just in case someone tried to turn you down?” Sam steps in front of you again as the man goes to lunge at you. You giggle and roll your eyes again, is he really dumb enough to try and pick a fight with multiple Avengers. “Did I strike a little nerve there? Was I too on the nose for you?”
By now Tony’s called security and the man is being forcefully removed from the gala, Sam’s hand wraps around your wrist and he pulls you out a door in the other direction. He leads you through multiple winding hallways and away from the prying ears of gala guests. Sam only stops when he feels you’ve put a substantial distance between you and the party, having taken too many different turns for anyone to follow. 
“What were you thinking?” Sam asks, you can hear as he fights with himself to keep his voice level. 
“What was I thinking? What were you thinking? You almost got yourself into a fist fight Samuel!” 
“What were you thinking dancing with him?” he sneers. 
“I wanted to dance, he asked, therefore we started dancing!” you glare at Sam. 
“You could have gotten hurt!” he sounds exasperated. 
“Says the one that almost got into a physical fight with him,” you roll your eyes at Sam, arms coming up to shove him lightly at your next statement. “I can take care of myself Samuel, I don’t need you to save me.”
“You think I don't know that?” he grabs both of your wrists as you go to shove him again. “You’re strong, capable, and can kick just about anyone's ass. Hell, you took down the tinman in training the other day. It’s one of the things I love about you, but dammit I want you to need me as much as I need you!”
“What did you just say?” you latch your hands onto his wrists since his hands are still holding your wrists. Your heart swells at his slight confession, an overpowering feeling of love washes over you as your walls crumble down. 
“I love you (Y/N). And I need you,” he lets go of your wrists to wrap your arms around your waist, you rest your hands on his biceps. “I pushed you away when I realized how much you meant to me, when I realized I couldn’t function right when I wasn’t by your side every day. So I pushed you away and into the arms of countless men I was scared would sweep you off your feet.”
“You’re an idiot,” you laugh lightly.
“That’s what Barnes tells me every day,” Sam looks down at you sadly, and you realize you haven’t said it back. 
“I love you too, you winged idiot,” Sam cuts off your giggle with his lips, finally kissing you with those plump lips for the first time. “You’ve already swept me off my feet, both figuratively and literally.”
Permanent tags: @crimson-knuckled-queen​ @rexorangecouny​ @mrs-malfoy-always​
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imstillworkingonit · 4 years
Text
CR AU: When Jester was not there to answer the door
I fell into the widojest hole about a month ago (literally reactivated my tumblr to follow the tag) and had some FEELINGS about yesterday’s episode and the potential conversations that could have been had if things had been a little bit different. I’ve never attempted fanfiction before, but here’s the AU oneshot for if Jester hadn’t been there to answer Fjord’s knock. I wrote it directly after the episode through the night, so please excuse any glaring characterization errors or typos. This is just what my brain needed to do. (Also, no hate to the budding romance between our handsome half-orc and adorable tiefling—they’re not my favorite ship but they’re still friggin precious.)
>>>>>>
It was not a sudden realization. Jester’s incessant flirting had waned over the past months, and while her initial words had sounded childish to him, the lack thereof was jarring. Fjord missed it. Then came the little moments, where Jester’s light shone so bright it blinded him, even through closed eyelids. She was, indeed, very charming. Hard not to enjoy her company, really.
So when he saw her, frozen in the middle of those stone statues, his world stopped. What is a world without her smile, her laugh, her brightness? Her constant joy that had helped tear him away from the darkness that was his past?
But she came out of it. Shocked, scared, changed, but alive. And then the fear came. The bitter winds of Eiselcross tore through his winter coat, but his body was too warm. The adrenaline that typically came with a fight kicked in, and he began triaging. Gathering information that had cost too much. All the while, in the back of his mind: “I could have lost you.” and “I have to keep you close.” and “I need to tell you how dear you are to me.” So he began rehearsing.
Words had always come easy to him, but there was too much he wanted to say. “I promised your mother I would protect you.” “I don’t want to see you throwing yourself into danger.” “I want to keep you close and never let go.” How far is too far? It took longer than he expected after dinner and the evening’s events and interrogations to properly finalize what he wanted to say. It was the fear in the pit of his stomach that allowed him to spend only a brief few seconds considering what Jester’s response to his declarations would be. Fear, and perhaps a lack of doubt about her response.
Fjord made his way up to the bedroom floors of the tower, and he knocked on her door. “Jester?”
There was no response. He waited for a breath and a half, face hot, and head down, then knocked again. “Jester, are you in there?”
He waited for another minute or so, resisting the desperate curiosity. Is she in there and just doesn’t want to see him? That wasn’t true, was it? But if not, where could she be?
After Jester left the tower’s dining area, she went directly to her bathroom. Without looking in the mirror, she carefully shrugged the layers of her winter clothes off and daintily folded them beside her. One at a time. They felt different on her now, somehow wrong. Once they were all removed, Jester slowly brought her eyes up, and made eye contact with herself in the mirror. Moving slowly, she traced the lines of her face. The difference between one’s early twenties and their late twenties isn’t a lot, especially for blue tieflings with pretty rockin’ genetics. It is, however, a lot to see at once.
Her horns were indeed ¾ of an inch longer than they were. She pulled at her hairline, checking for… yes. There they were. A smattering of shimmering silver hairs interspersed with the blue. Not too many, just a couple on each side, but noticeable to her. Her fingers traced down her face. Some of her remaining baby fat had gone—she finally saw her mama’s cheekbones on her own face, and there was also something in her more defined jawline that reminded her of the Gentleman. There were, in addition to the cheekbones, lines on her face for the first time. The tiniest of crows feet, some smile lines around her mouth. Those… those would take some getting used to.
Her hands moved downward, poking and prodding at the skin of her collarbones and down her arms. Her skin feels different. Less hydrated, less springy. Older. Her breasts were fuller, perhaps her hips were as well, but everything just… off. Unrecognizable, even to an artist’s touch.
Her fingers stopped prodding and started scratching, itchy in a blink. This skin, this body, is not really mine. It belongs to some older woman, who just looks exactly like me.
The panic came not just from the change in her body—it also came from the loss of what she could have done with all that time.
How many pranks won’t be pranked because I lost the years that I was going to do them? What if my brain is different too, and that this new future Jester brain, when it catches up, won’t love painting, and dicks, and pranks? What if the Traveller doesn’t bother with me anymore, decides I’ve changed and I’m not fun enough? I got my statue question answered, but how much am I going to lose? Oh... Traveller. What if the Nein only kept me around for my smile, my sunshine? Will I lose that? 
This will pass. This feeling has to pass.
She found herself curled on the bathroom floor, staring into nothing, eyes aching with unshed tears. In half a moment, she was on her feet, groaning with new pains, and grabbing a nightgown and robe. Not her usual, ostentatiously and horrendously pink ones, but a peach-ish set. She stared around at her room, at the winter clothes she’d paid a fortune for, at the corner of the secret Nicodranas painting on the canopy over her bed, and even that felt wrong somehow.
Imposter.
She picked up her sketchbook, but couldn’t find it in herself to open it. What could she say to the Traveller: “Hi Artie, guess what, I just lost five years and I’ll never get them back. I had really great plans for all of my time on the earth and now I’ve lost part of that. I’m still here but I’ve lost part of me. I’m haunted by what the statues gave me and what they took. I can’t get the image of what they showed out of my head, and I’m afraid to show any of my friends anything less than my best new smile because that’s all they need from me.” Yeah, that conversation would go well.
The Traveller wouldn’t understand. No one could. Except… someone who had lost years themselves.
She found herself at Caleb’s door.
Caleb couldn’t deny that he appreciated what age had done for Jester’s appearance. She had always been a beautiful woman, but now it was shockingly apparent. He had foolishly blurted that out twice too many times upon the discovery of this change, this loss, as well. But it’s something that she needed reinforced, because gods she’s young—so young—and five years at that age is fifteen for anyone else. Not that he would know, he’d lost that time too.
She seemed fine, though distressed at first, and was back to her cheerful self in short order. The rest of the Nein followed her lead, and all seemed well throughout dinner. Caleb was not keeping a closer eye on Jester throughout dinner, he wasn’t. He couldn’t help but notice that, whenever Jester thought there weren’t any eyes on her, her eyes went dark. Her smile became increasingly hollow as the meal progressed, and she departed quickly. Caleb’s ever-sharp mind immediately reminded him that this was Jester’s facade cracking, just as it had done after the Iron Shepherds. Her steps, as she moved away from the tables, were fragile too, as if she wasn’t sure she could rely on her own feet.
He bid his own goodbyes to the remaining members of the group shortly afterward. He had research to do. For someone as full of life as Jester to lose her youth, her confidence in herself, to be haunted so deeply from the actions taken in the blink of an eye… he knew there had to be a way to reverse it, he just needed to figure out how. Of all the arcane tomes he’d devoured during his early days at the Academy, of all the snippets and scrolls he’d glanced through on the road or in random bookshops, something had to have the answer. He just needed to find it.
In the back of his mind, he was reminded: To show her you love her, but never say it.
“Georg, Cinnamon, Pancake, Rickon, please gather all the compatriots you can, and bring me all research in this tower that may include information on powerful restorative spells accessible to an arcane caster such as, ah, yours truly. Thank you.” The cats nodded in understanding and padded off in search of Caleb’s requested materials.
It was but a few minutes before a parade of amber-colored cats came back through the cat-flaps, each one carrying a tome, a scroll, or a report. Once the cats placed their selections near the small desk in the corner, they disappeared back through the cat-flaps, and Caleb settled down to work. It will be a long night of research, Ermendrud. Buckle in.
Caleb, after no more than twenty one and a half minutes, was broken out of his research reverie by a quiet, brisk knock at the door. “Caleb?” Jester’s voice whispered.
Ah, sheisse. Jester. What could she possibly want from the tower’s resident eccentric and broken old man? What could she possibly want that I have?  “Coming.” Caleb quickly closed and stacked the research materials behind him, and opened the door a crack.
She stood in the doorway with doll-like eyes. Glassy and empty. Her body was slouched, nothing like the confident woman from this morning. She didn’t say a word.
“Ah, Jester. What can I do for you?” She shrugged, looking hollowly past Caleb’s shoulder. A smile flashed across her lips, but not for long. It was a cruel and empty smile, a smile found much more commonly on his own face than on hers. Jester’s facade had finally broken.
It wasn’t that long ago that that hollow look had been plastered on his own face. The Nein had not been together that long. Before them, Caleb had been a cruel and empty man. He knew those eyes, and he knew that smile. Because not long ago that he’d woken up in the sanatorium and realized that he’d lost eleven precious years of life, of learning, of youth. Of pain and suffering and truth and forgiveness. Those eleven years of his would not have been good ones, with the ripples of Ikithon’s effect reverberating, but he still ached with that loss. That loss for Jester, who had so much good, so much passion, so much enthusiasm...five of her years were worth fifty of his.
They stood together in the doorway, living their individual losses, for just over three minutes. Caleb, eventually, shook himself. None of that matters, Ermendrud. She’s here because she knows you’ve experienced something similar. She needs a friend that shares this.
He cleared his throat, voice hoarse with disuse or emotion. “Please, Jester, come in. I have...ah...another story for you. Not a children’s tale this time, but I believe it still has a good ending.”
A faint knocking floated up from the floor below, followed by Fjord’s quiet call of “Jester.” Caleb raised his eyebrows at her, locking eyes with her for the first time since her arrival at his door. Meeting her, hollow stare to hollow stare. She shrugged, shook her head, and moved forward into Caleb’s room, taking her seat on the couch. It hadn’t been too many days since he’d read Der Katenprinz to her, but it seemed like eons now.
Jester looked up from the couch, patting the space next to her. “Fjord, you know… he just wouldn’t really understand. I don’t want to explain it to him. I know I don’t really understand either, and I’m really confused about what I saw today, and what’s going to happen now that I’m… like this.” She gestured to her changed face. “But I don’t think I can talk to him about it without it seeming...childish. You know?”
Caleb nodded, and sat down. They stared off in companionable silence for thirty seven seconds, until he began telling Jester his own story. She’s heard most of it before, but not in order and not all at once. He didn’t skip over anything, but he did spend the most time on his time in the sanatorium, and the time that immediately followed. To share with her how it felt for him, to let her know that feeling the loss of that time was normal. Halfway through his story, her hands started shaking. Steeling himself with a breath, he wrapped his long fingers over hers. She was very cold, he could share his warmth.
Jester looked at him, eyes wide, still innocent, but with an incredible intent on deciphering something. “The change is hard and it’s shocking, Jester, and I’m sorry you must deal with it. I know you must feel wrong, uncomfortable in your own skin and unsure about everything around you.” If he was not holding her hands, he would be scratching his arms.
She nodded, and cleared her throat. “That is...yes. That’s part of it, I think? I know it sounds weird, but I think I might be mourning? Like… all I can think about are all of the things that I could have done with that time. And if losing it will change me enough that no one will like me enough to keep me around anymore. What if the Nein and the Traveller get sick of the new, old me?”
Caleb squeezed her fingers. “These are fair concerns. But no, getting sick of you, at the very least, is impossible. I refuse to speak for the rest of the Nein or your god but I swear I could never get sick of you. And if I did speak for them, they would say the same. You’re the group’s smile, Jester, but you’re also its heart. Its soul. You’re an incredibly powerful woman who can play tricks on and kick the asses of incredibly powerful creatures. I would fo-- hmmm.”
“Yes, Caleb?”
“Ah, well… I would follow you anywhere. I trust your judgement. You see the world and everyone in it in a unique light, and it is incredible to behold. I-- we are lucky to have you. It is difficult not to lo-- care for you, no matter who you grow into. And I will strive to ensure your days for the foreseeable future are filled with enough adventure and entertainment to make up for the lost ones. I can enlist the Chaos Crew to assist.” A wry grin appeared at the corner of his mouth, just for a second.
Jester looked down at her hands, completely enveloped by Caleb’s. They’re no longer shaking.
“And that is the short-term. I swear on my spellbook and on your holy symbol that I will do everything in my power to get the time back for you, to restore the years you’ve lost. I have already begun the research.” Caleb gestured back to the stack of pages and books spilling across the desk.
The ghost of a furrowed brow passed across Jester’s face, then something that resembled a smile. “Caleb, as your first act of helping me... will you please make your room look like Hupperdook, like you did while we were eating the other day?” 
Three seconds passed as Caleb swallowed the request, then nodded. “Uhhh… ja, of course.” He used major illusion to again replicate Hupperdook’s tavern as closely as possible—with the exception of the fireworks. Some sparks were of pink dicks and green cloaks, some were red books and orange cats. There were some multicolored cats wearing cloaks, or playing with dicks. And there was a single book with a small dick in the corner of the page. The page for the spell “Friends.”
Jester’s eyes lit up the tiniest bit watching the animated illusion, and Caleb couldn’t help but admire how the illusory fireworks sparked and crackled in her eyes. A sudden courage gripped him as he pulled Jester to her feet. “As my second act of assistance, Jester… I would like us to revisit the waltz. So you can enjoy a dance with an individual who does not have two left feet, and who is not more booze than man, and know that you are still just as capable and as erapturing as you were those many months ago.”
A giggle escaped from Jester’s lips, and he could see her again, putting together the pieces and cautiously probing the new shape of the world. Caleb inclined his head to his dance partner, and she pulled his arms into the dance’s starting position. Caleb, with a nod to the tower surrounding them, started the music as the steps began. They danced in companionable silence for precisely eight minutes and twelve seconds, gazing contentedly at the illusion around them and at their dance partner before them. Caleb tried to avoid looking at Jester too closely, but he couldn’t help but notice a darker purple flush high on her cheeks. A trick, perhaps, or a product of the surrounding illusion.
On that thirteenth second of the ninth minute, Jester shifted her hand from cupping his shoulder to looping around his neck, and removed her hand from his, only to wrap it around his waist. Her head now rested plainly on his chest, directly over his fast-beating heart.
“You know, Caleb, you’re pretty okay for being a stinky wizard.”
Caleb froze, but only for a second. His arms moved to hold her in a light embrace, their bodies fitting together like a slightly-fractured puzzle. The dancers just started to sway in place. “Ah, I would like to think so. Okay is good. You know, you will be alright Blueberry.”
With her head to his chest, Caleb could make out her quiet words, and the true smile on her face: “It will take time, I think. And help. But I hope so.” She paused for a moment. “And Cayleb? This is a good ending to your story.”
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retvenkos · 3 years
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Olive, I read your tags about you making a sorting hat quiz to diagnose us all and I 1000% second the idea - I would take it religiously. If I may, do you think you could help psychoanalyze me? i've always said I was a Ravenclaw and really identify with the house and its traits and aesthetic, but for a few years I've been feeling drawn to Gryffindor as well. so what would be your conjecture - do you see more Ravenclaw or Gryffindor in me? This is a weird ask, lol, and feel free to ignore it if you don't want to. I just think you have such talent for analyzing people's minds and motivations, and you're probably the person who knows me best on tumblr!
this is not a weird ask, i would do anything for you, clara, and now that you mention it... i have some thoughts.
so, i really thought i was going to say ravenclaw, because i've always associated that with you, but.... hear me out.... you're actually a gryffindor....
so, a big difference between ravenclaw and gryffindor is their sense of community. in a group setting, if one person is feeling left out, a gryffindor will bend over backward to help them feel more included, and you definitely give me the vibes that you want people to like you and to like being with you. i feel like a big failure of yours would be finding out that you hosted a get together and someone really didn't feel welcome and didn't have fun. they're your guest! you should cater toward them.
after that, i think there's a lot to say for your belief that people are inherently good, but there are levels of trust. you think that people generally aren't out there to get you, but you also keep an eye out, because you know there are always some. you're probably quick to warm up to people, but you are constantly reevaluating whether or not you trust them that much. lol, it's like in a video game where you have trust checkpoints, except your alone in your room, trying to decide if this is a person you can trust with a secret.
all that being said, i definitely think that gryffindors have an individualistic streak. they tend to do things while thinking it has to be done alone, or it would be most successful if they do it alone. what's also interesting is that i feel this seeps into their mindset. they very much forget that others are there to lean on for guidance. they might have one (1) wise mentor, but they process things alone and find solutions alone. but if people show up, they are secretly very glad that they're there. in a more ~fantasy~ setting this is the equivalent of "i have to face the bad guy on my own. no one else will get hurt," but, if someone also has a personal vendetta against the bad guy, a gryffindor let them come along - but few people that they know they can trust.
i definitely think you have a gryffindor's stubbornness, which is similar to a ravenclaw, except ravenclaws let it stew beneath their skin in a more passive-aggressive way. a gryffindor's stubbornness is outright, and it's pointed.
i think you definitely have an adventurous streak to you that's combined with your more outgoing nature. there's always so much possibility in your eyes, and that's really special.
i also find it interesting that you don't rely on your creativity or one hyper specific niche. a ravenclaw really limits themself into a few chosen skill sets, and they hone them like crazy. you, clara, seem very willing to try out everything - to have many tools in your box to help you out, rather than a limited few. (more discourse for why harry was not the model gryffindor. his reliance on expelliarmus, anyone?)
i also get the feral mom friend vibe from you. allow me to explain: you can be impulsive, you can be rash, you can crave something so much that you forsake all else in pursuit of what you love, but, you're the mom friend and if anything bad happens, you will show your concern. (you're probably also very tired of how the 'mom friend' label has been bastardized to make it seem like someone is very passive and just blindly cares about their friends)
also! and this is something that really sets you apart for ravenclaw... you get upset at someone's betrayal, but you are also willing to forgive, and when you forgive, it's full forgiveness and full absolution. what they did was wrong, and you were upset, and you were stubborn in your anger for a long time, but when you give out an olive branch, it has no conditions attached. it is quite literally starting fresh with someone. (and if you think this is an extreme, remember that you constantly reevaluate people's trust and treat them accordingly. it's forgetting what happened, back then, and starting anew.)
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mystic-merc · 3 years
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Check up tag!
Omg thank you for tagging me @coldjellyfishsoul that's so sweet of you bestie 💚
How has your day been?
Not too bad? Started on new meds today so I'm shaking like a shitting dog which is fun and definitely doesn't making cooking difficult 🙈
What was the last thing that made you smile?
Seeing this in my notes 🥺 But before that my dog. She's recently gotten into the habit of flopping onto me when she wants cuddles. She'll come and sit in front of me and then like trust fall backwards onto me. It's so cute I love her so much
If you're in quarantine/self-isolation, is there something you'd like to achieve in this time?
I'd love to lose weight/get fit but the odds on that happening are slim to none. Just wanna focus on improving my mental health you know
Post a selfie (only if you're comfortable)
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My first face reveal on tumblr ! Took this selfie at new years. I was more scared of posting selfies in the past but I realised barely anyone except a couple mutuals actually look at my blog so there I am
I'm tagging: @lesbiansappho @kuukkeli25 @cookierent @i-am-going-to-my-mind-palace @wygbyrm @latinxfeels and literally everyone who sees this on their dash. You ever see this post, tag me and let me know how you're doing!
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purplesunrisefanfic · 4 years
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Masterlist, Info & Recommendations
Talk to me here & Find me on AO3 here.
About
I’m Persephone. I’m 29, bi, and British.
I write The Last of Us fanfics, including a lot of BDSM and kink orientated fics.
I am autistic, have ADHD and am a bit of a genderfuck (they/them/theirs).
I often use the term AutDHD (and variations thereof). I made this up on a whim one day to refer to having both ADHD and autism.
Use #about to find out more about me.
I take limited requests, please read the the rules below before requesting. (Clarifying questions welcome!)
This blog contains explicit and sexually explicit (written) content throughout and contains kinks that may be triggering or offensive. Proceed with caution.
I will warn for literally any trigger if requested - no questions asked. Anon is on so please do reach out if it might help you 💛
My Fics
All my fics (except HCs et cetera) are posted on AO3 under my handle PurpleSunrise.
Note that the AO3 versions tend to be better quality as I redraft/correct my Tumblr requests before uploading. This means there may be a delay in crossposting from Tumblr.
TLOU Femslash Week 2020
Read all 7 fics on AO3 here.
🌊 Day 1 “Making Amends”: Abby/Ellie post-cannon enemies->lovers (Cali Soul Part 1, AO3)
🧿 Day 2 “Scars”: Forbidden love Scar/WLF poem with a reference to Dina/Ellie (Tumblr)
🌊 👩‍👩‍👦 Day 3 “Good Son Fluff”: Abby/Ellie try to figure out post-apocalyptic transistion options as they co-parent Lev. (Cali Soul Part 4, AO3)
💖♾🔫 Day 4 “Modern AU”: Everyone lives AU. Poly!Ellie Dina/Ellie and Ellie/Riley, focused on Ellie/Riley. Very meta with something for everyone. (AO3)
🧿 Day 5 “Apocalypse Wedding”: Dina/Ellie angst with a happy ending. (AO3)
🔫 Day 6 “Hunting Together” Ellie/Riley fluff (Tumblr)
🌊 Day 7 “Rest”: Abby/Ellie kinky date fluff (Tumblr)
My fics on Tumblr:
🌊 Abby/Ellie (alternate ending)
🌊 Abby/Ellie (angst to smut)
💪 Daddy! Abby/GN! reader (smut)
💪 Abby/GN! reader (fluff)
🤜🏻🤛🏼 Ellie & Jesse (banter)
🧿 Dina/Ellie drabble
🌊 Abby/Ellie HCs Part 1
🌊 Abby/Ellie HCs Part 2
🩺 sub!Abby/Dom!Nora HCs
💪 Abby Sexual Fantasies (Part 1?)
⚔️ Assassin’s Creed: “Stay” F!Evior/GN!reader (romance)
⚔️ Assassin’s Creed: “Just Relax” F!Eivor/GN!reader (hurt/comfort, sequel of “Stay”)
My Fics on AO3:
🎆🌅 My AO3 handle is PurpleSunrise.
🧿 Dear: I’m currently writing a multi-chapter letter/note based epilogue for Part 2 called “Dear.” It’s a long-game Dina/Ellie reconciliation fic focused on recovery and earning forgiveness.
🌊 👩‍👩‍👦 California Soul: A post cannon Abby/Ellie enemies->lovers series. Mixture of angst, hurt/comfort, fluff and smut. Direct link to Part 1 here.
🧿 Strength: My first fic was some Dina/Ellie BDSM times.
🎸 Aftermath: A part 1 Ellie & Joel hurt/comfort ficlet.
Requests:
I take requests for:
Kinky smut or angsty kinky smut: 🧿 Dina/Ellie, 🌊 Abby/Ellie, or 💪 Abby/reader.
Fluff: 🔫 Riley/Ellie, 🦈 Abby & Lev, 🏹 Ellie & Lev, 👩‍👩‍👦 Abby/Ellie & Lev, or 🎸 Ellie & Joel.
Headcannons/similar: AMA about 🌊 Abby/Ellie or 🩺 Abby/Nora or Abby, Ellie, Dina or Nora individually bc I love thinking about them!
Abby/reader requests are limited: I basically started to take them on as a ⛓ kinky referral service 😅 sometimes when @kittycat-beans gets requests outside of what she’ll write. Please request Abby/reader elsewhere first (see recommendations below) unless either:
You are sure what you want is gonna be too obscurely kinky for other writers or
You’re wanting a Gender Neutral (GN) reader fic and/or are trans/enby/intersex/et cetera and are more comfortable requesting from me for that reason.
Things I don’t do:
Choking (overly normalised in so many fics when it’s actually hella dangerous irl, and I’m just bored of it)
Vanilla sex (I just don’t find it interesting to wanna write about)
Threesomes or group sex (Too many limbs and other body parts to keep track of)
Assume people are cis, assume people have particular body parts or combos thereof, assume people are not intersex or assume people are a given gender. If you want Abby/reader smut that explicitly refers to the body parts or genitals you have, you gotta tell me what those are. Ditto with gendered language or other language you don’t like. I can keep request details private if you let me know in your ask you don’t want it to be published. You can DM me requests to avoid the ask box limits if you’re comfortable doing so or dw about sending me a ton of asks to stay anon. I’ll write whatever body/gender/lack of gender you want, regardless of whether it’s common or not.
Ship hate (And I’m sick to death of people equating fiction about fiction with actual crimes against actual humans. Just DLDR (Don’t Like, Don’t Read), it’s not that fuckin’ hard.
Kink shame. (Fuck people who do this, but in the pejorative sense, not the sexual sense. I don’t know how well I’ll do at something until I try, but I’m open to having a go with basically any kink, even the ones most writers don’t take requests for, so go for it!)
Make fun of anyone (even actual dickheads) for how they write or speak ever. Please feel absolutely free and welcome to talk to me regardless of your level of English.
Mock any honest question whatsoever. Not sure what I mean? Perplexed by my weird British slang? Abbreviation got you like “wtf”? You can always ask. Please do.
Other things I can do:
I am open to beta reading TLOU fics: DM or send an ask and we can discuss this
Answer questions, give advice or offer feedback about writing autistic characters with sex lives, writing AutDHD characters, and/or other atypicalities that I have, DM or send an ask.
My Requests:
Requests I’ve made that were written by other wonderful writers:
Nora’s Office: Abby/Nora smut 🩺
Green-eyed: Ellie/reader smut 💚
You Can’t Keep An Eye On Me 24/7: Abby/reader bondage smut 🔐
Sweet Girl: Abby/reader hair braiding fluff 💆🏼‍♀️
Please Don’t Go: Abby, Ellie & Lev alt ending 💜
Love on the Brain: Abby/Ellie modern AU. 🧠This one wasn’t actually a request but a surprise gift 😍 that awww just all the good feels on many levels.
Other TLOU authors who I love and recommend:
Most of these writers also take requests! Make sure you check them all out and if you like them (spoiler: if you like my fics, you probably will) then please give them some love!
🐈 @kittycat-beans aka Queen Machine of Abby/reader. She has heaps of talent and heaps of fics to read. 🐈
🐇 @pinkchubbiebunnie Excellent Abby/reader author with some glorious longer reads. Writes disabled, autistic & chronically ill characters beautifully and accessibly to all. 🐇
🦸🏼‍♀️ @aka-patsywalker who is writing a unique and gripping post-cannon Dina/Ellie fic that I am loving. 🦸🏼‍♀️
👻 @hopelesslonelyghost Hot, hot, hot Ellie/reader, Dina/reader & Abby/reader stuff! 👻
📖 @f-society-arcade of Abby/librarian reader fame and excellence.📖
🧷 @punkrockmads Rightly famed for writing excellent Abby/reader modern AUs 🧷
😈 @lifeisfullofdirtysins Fellow Jesse fan who writes a huge range of glorious fluff, angst and smut for all our TLOU faves. 😈
👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 @swatlesbian is currently working on some very exciting Abby/Ellie stuff, so watch this space! 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩
There are probably more to add
My Tags
I journal/ramble about writing sometimes, check #journalling
You can learn more about me from random asks and other things, check #about
I use the tag #help for helpful things
I RB a lot prompts, check #writing prompts
I also RB many ask games, check #ask games
I use the tag #writing for RBs of useful stuff for writers
Main tags I use for relevant original and RBed content: #Abby Anderson #Dina #Ellie Williams #Nora Harris #Joel Miller #Riley Abel #tlou Jesse #Abby/Ellie #Dina x Ellie #Ellie x Riley #Abby x Nora
(I know there is a lack of system or logic to these tags but I’m not changing them all now)
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spnfanficpond · 4 years
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June 2020 Angel Fish Awards
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(New Angel Fish design by @slytherkins!!)
Every month all of you fantastic writers work your asses off to post some truly incredible stories. Our Angel Fish Awards are the way for all of us, as a community of writers and readers, to lift each other up and give praise to those who have captured our attention and deserve a few kind words.
The monthly Angel Fish Awards are peer-nominated, meaning ANYONE IN THE POND CAN NOMINATE ANY POND MEMBER’S FIC. While the Pond was founded to support the Guppies, everyone in this community deserves to be showered with love and feedback, and we hope that by opening this up as a Pond wide system, we’ll be able to share the love as far as it can go.
NOTE: WE’VE BEEN HAVING OCCASIONAL PROBLEMS WITH ASKS GOING MISSING. Please use the Submit button when submitting your nominations and make sure you’re signed into Tumblr or your URL won’t show. (If the form asks for your name and email address, then you’re not signed in.) If you like, you can also send a message to Michelle @mrswhozeewhatsis or Mana @manawhaat to check and make sure we got your submission.
Be sure to read through this whole post as people who were nominated more than once only had one tag activated for tumblr tagging purposes!
WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, HERE ARE JUNE’S ANGEL FISH AWARDS!
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Nonimated by @thegirlwhorunswithwinchesters
I Thought You Were Going To Die (oneshot) by @fun-and-fandoms
My nominations for the month wouldn’t be complete without a little bit of angst. Though this one isn’t just that. If you’re easily triggered by mentions of depression and its symptoms, this one’s not for you. But it’s an important topic and I will always encourage any creator who uses their art to remind people it’s okay to talk about it. (Note from Kale, this was actually submitted in May but I missed it.) 
More to Me (oneshot) by @becs-bunker
No spoilers, but I’m so glad this ended the way it did. So sweet <3
Help  (oneshot) by @blushingjared
I came across this fic and was immediately intrigued. Then I started reading and I was captivated from the first sentence until the very last. The author did such a good job with setting the scene and painting the right picture.
Talking Bodies (oneshot) by @ne-gans
This AU-Sam is such a huge weakness of mine. That, in combination with this dangerously filthy masterpiece, is nothing short of perfection.
Nominated by @focusonspn
Into The Woods (series) by @amanda-teaches
So well written, interesting plot and great development. The chemistry between Y/N and Dean is also amazing, and I loved how this mini-series could be so easily part of the show. Totally worth reading.
Nominated by @thoughtslikeamindfield 
Stranger Than FanFiction (series) by @cherry3point14
The premise is similar to the film Stranger Than Fiction – a story about a story being written about you – and it’s just as hilarious. Also, Cherry Pie is still one of the funniest writers in this corner of SPN fandom.
“You’re not supposed to move your head if there’s someone trying to murder you, probably…”
No, I wouldn’t think so, but lollllll
“You’re being insane, out loud.”
Omgggg
“It tried, oh, how the door tried to divert her attention from the unknown men who could be terrible, rule-breaking influences on her. However the door was only wood and she was a stubborn woman made of free will and limbs—a woman who refused to be deceived.”
“Your hand is on the doorknob before the mention of your limbs has finished rattling around your head.  Realistically you don’t want to encourage the voice by doing what it says. After all, the voice’s ultimate goal seems to be killing you.”
BAHAHAHAH omfg you guys
I need to stop quoting from this bc I probably seem insane to those of you who haven’t read this, so stop being judgy buttheads and go read!
Nominated by @flamencodiva
The Choice (series) by @superfanficnatural
A couple of things. 1) this is an amazing fic that highlights Dean unwillingness to let himself go until it’s almost too late. and 2) the smut in this is hot hot hot hot! not for anyone under 18 years of age.
Mert has a way with words and can literally pluck you into one and make you see it as it comes to life in your head.
Mine (series) by @holylulusworld
Lulu has an abundance of different stories she tells and this one is my favorite of her ABO’s at the moment. (although I love all of them) I think this one deserved a mention. I am glad she joined to Pond so I could help nominate and spread her amazing work!
One Night at a Time (series) by @crashdevlin
Another great fic by Cassie! This one shot full of Angst, Smut, and if you squint just the right amount of Dean fluff. She has a way of capturing your attention and putting you in the world as you read.
What He Lost (oneshot) by @jensengirl83
This short story by Brandy is sure to rip your heart out. she leaves just a bit of hope where you think there is a chance only to crush it completely with the ending. This one is sure to bring you to tears if you are looking for the most delicious angsty story to read.
Nominated by @risingpheonix761
Down The Rabbit Hole (oneshot) by @dontshootmespence
So, this was hysterical. XD I love crack fics, and bad smut in particular, and this one hits the spot. (I’ve also learned several new horrible euphemisms lol). The ending, though? Golden!
Nominated by @myinconnelly1
The Affair (oneshot) by @holylulusworld
I love how well all the characters are portrayed I truly hate everyone except the reader! Well done!!  
Red Riding Hood - or how you ran into a wolf... (oneshot) by @holylulusworld
I have nothing to say about this. I will simply allow the puddle I have become to speak for me. 
Last Omega On Earth (oneshot) by @holylulusworld 
This was a great entry in the ABO world. and we need more of this and more like !!!!! Great work!
My Beta (oneshot) by @holylulusworld
I am a greedy little bitch with this fic.  I think I've read it 3-4 since i first read it this month!!!!!! READ THIS FIC!  
Third Period (oneshot) by @fictionalabyss
Some truly inspiring smut.  Inspiring to change my panties. 
Gods of Twilight (series) by @thecleverdame​
I think i posted this fic in my rec before, but it is so amazing and intricate that i can't stop gushing about it.  Fucking awesome. 
Apple Pie (oneshot) by @bad268​ 
The amazingness of this is great, check this guppy out!
Deal (oneshot) by @bad268 
Comedy at some of its's finest!!! 
Confession (oneshot) by @idreamofplaid
THE FLUFFFFFFF!!!! I don't read straight fluff.  So get the tissues ready.
Fallen (series) by idreamofplaid
My therapist has told me i'm not longer allowed to talk about this fic during our sessions.  So instead i shall now talk about it here... *pulls out soapbox* ahem... *gets pulled away with hook*
Memory (oneshot) by @idreamofplaid
This fic is older, but i love it so much.  I recently went back and reread it, and the angst and reconciliation in this fic are heartwrenching.
Home (oneshot) by @emilyshurley
My dentist bill the month was higher than normal, due to the new cavities caused by this fic.
Imperfectly Yours (oneshot) by @emilyshurley
Cuteness overload as you get Dean's perspective of Home ^^
Second Hand News (oneshot) by @emilyshurley
Alright listen. I am a glutton for punishment.  And this fic, I asked for.  Also i had it set within one of the universes we now own.  That all being said, reading this was like a dose of my own medicine and it fucking hurt.
Honesty And Lies (oneshot) by @crashdevlin
This was super dirty, and great.  Totally recommend. 
Nominated by @deanwinchesterswitch
The Classifieds (oneshot) by @talesmaniac89
This is rip your heart out and stomp on it angst right here. So well written, but so, so heartbreaking.
So Much More Than Perfect (oneshot) by @imagineteamfreewill
This fic is one of the sweetest things I’ve ever read. It made me tear up a bit, but who doesn’t love Dean being the most protective, most adorable dad ever?!
Nominated by @mariekoukie6661
Dear Dean (series) by @smol-and-grumpy
It’s one of those series that makes you wants more after every chapter. It’s a brilliant story.
Left Behind (series) by @kittenofdoomage
It’s the only John Fic I can read over and over and over again. Its hot, the plot is awesome! And it makes me wants more each and every time I read it.
Not Much Left (oneshot) by @impala-dreamer
I think Beka tries to kill her readers every time she writes smut… or she just tap into our mind what we want or what we fantasize about. Every single time I’m speechless by her talents!
Yes Professor (oneshot) by @impala-dreamer
It’s a Misha fic, there’s no one who write Misha the way Beka does!!!
Owe You One (series) by @supernatural-jackles
It’s such a great series! The friends with Benefit and Mechanic!Dean… I just love this so much and I don’t have words to describe how good this one is!!
Flirty In French (oneshot) by @fictionalabyss
This is brilliant, and I know its an old one, but from someone who finally decided to read more and from someone who is from Quebec, this is absolutely brilliant! The flirty french pick up line are so hilarious!
Nominated by @moosekateer13
Watching for Comets (series) by @holylulusworld
This fic beautifully captures the song that it was inspired by.
It also showcases things that when things are meant to be.
I’ll will all fall into place.
Please Trust Me (oneshot) by @holylulusworld
This fic beautifully emotionally captures what it’s like to have trust issues.
Nominated by @fictionalabyss
Last Call (oneshot) by @impala-dreamer 
It was everything we needed and wanted.
Culinary Exploits (oneshot) by @impala-dreamer  
Too utterly ridiculous not to get a mention.
His Omega (oneshot) by @iflostreturntosteverogers 
A sweet little comfort fic of Dean being utterly perfect caring for his Omega. Carrie also pulled off keeping this gender neutral, which isn’t something I see a lot of, and probably something I’d struggle with, so hats off to you, babe.
Poison (oneshot) by @supernatural-jackles 
YES omg i feel this on such a level. I’ve gone through that shit myself. A friend who lets you down so profoundly but then acts as if you’re the most toxic person in the world.  Nothing feels as good as letting go of that shit and moving on to better things. This was beautiful, and perfect, and TRUTH.
Amara (oneshot) by @impala-dreamer  
This one hurt. It really hurt, but it hurt so good that I’m left wanting more.
Take Me Now (oneshot) by @sorenmarie87  
If Dawn doesn’t continue this, I’ll riot.
Stuck On You (oneshot) by @kittenofdoomage  
I rarely read a fic this long (I just don’t usually have the time) but it looked too interesting for me to scroll past, and it had me completely captivated. I needed to know what would happen as if I needed air, even though I could guess how it ended, I needed to read the words. Phenomenal.
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Thank you all for the awesome work and great feedback!
These are not actual awards! This system is set up so everyone in the pond has a chance to share the love and promote a fic/author that has grabbed your attention. The more people that participate, and the more everyone remembers to submit their own fics after posting, the better this will be :D
THANK YOU ALL AGAIN, KEEP UP THE AMAZING WORK, AND AS ALWAYS, HAPPY WRITING!
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minuteminx · 4 years
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About Me
I keep forgetting that Tumblr has this neat little pin function that would be really good for introducing myself and giving folks some pertinent information before you follow and/or interact with me or my content, so, here goes!
Hi everyone!  My name’s Allison, and I am relatively new here (to Fallout 4 fandom, not to Tumblr.  I’ve been on Tumblr since 2015.)  I started playing  FO4 in April 2020, and I made the silly mistake of actually caring that I’d run off all my Dragon Age followers from my main blog (@allisondraste) with my new interest, so I made anentire sideblog and here we are.  So if you get a like, follow, ask or reply from @allisondraste​, that’s me!
I am going to put the rest of this About Me under a Read More to be mindful of space, and of people’s dashes. :)
Basic Information
Preferred name: Allison! (But honestly if you come up with a nickname for me, I’m probably going to be cool with it.)
Preferred pronouns: She/Her, but I’m also fine being called They/Them
Sexuality: Asexual
Real life occupation: Psychology Doctoral Intern (at the time of posting.  If you read this after August 1st 2021, I’ll just be a Psychologist)
Things I do in fandom: Art, fanfiction, meta/lore, shitposting, reblogging/supporting other creators
Other fandom’s I’ve participated in: Dragon Age, Inuyasha
Where else you can find me: 
Main Blog
Twitter
Instagram
Archive of Our Own
Fallout 4 Specific Information
Preferred faction: Minutemen!
Favorite characters: Preston, MacCready, Hancock, Piper, Nick, Sturges, Ronnie
Characters that I am occasionally critical about, but 100% support other people liking them: 
OTP(s): Preston/SoSu, Sturges/Danse, Piper/Sullivan, any of my friends’ ships tbh
BroTP(s): Preston & Piper, Preston & Sturges, MacCready & SoSu, Hancock & SoSu
NoTP(s): I don’t think I have one other than just “broadly abusive.” 
General Preferences for Interaction
I’ll start by saying that this isn’t a “do not follow if” section (with the exception of bigots and general jerks).  This is more of a “if you follow me, please be aware of and respect my boundaries” section.  I’ve not always had the greatest experience in fandom and it’s made me very wary of new spaces. 
So here are some things to know: 
I have opinions (tm) about characters and lore, and I will openly state those on my blog.  It does not bother me if you disagree and I am always welcoming of good faith discussion and debate.  However I prefer that anything extra critical of my faves, my ideas, or me, be kept out of the notes of my posts.  I will never attack anyone for their opinions or preferences, either. 
If I want constructive criticism, I will ask for it.  I create content for fun and for free, so unless something I’ve made is unintentionally harmful, I would rather not receive that kind of feedback.  If I do make something unintentionally harmful, please let me know so that I can address it.  I do my research and try to be sensitive, but I’m aware that I am not immune to mistakes. 
I cannot stress this next point enough: I am new here.  This means that I literally have absolutely nary an idea about the history of fandom drama and discourse.  Zip. Zilch. Nada. I can promise you that, even though I am not a fan of the BoS (just for example, and anecdotally), any criticism about the BoS is never directed towards people who do like the BoS.  I understand that we are all different people with different backgrounds and our reaction to the same content may be different.  
That being said, if you aren’t someone who likes to see BoS critical content, then my blog might not be for you.  I do, however, like Paladin Danse as well as several other characters who are part of the BoS, so it’s really a mixed bags. 
I am not a fan of discourse and would prefer not to participate in it.  I am also completely against personal attacks based on assumptions drawn from fictional preferences. 
I keep my blog safe for work, and I will never reblog explicit content, even if I like it.
I really really really really really really hate Preston settlement jokes.  I know it’s a meme and an old tradition, but I really hate it.  I also do not enjoy content in which he is abused, killed, etc., so please be aware that I may unfollow or not follow back if you regularly share these things. 
I love being tagged in things!  Never question if it’s okay or if I will be annoyed.  I am ALWAYS happy to be tagged, even if I can’t always find time to answer them. 
My ask box is always open and I leave my anons on.  If you have any questions, comments, concerns, or just wanna say “hey!” feel free to see me there.  Please don’t send nasty anons.  
Thanks for taking the time to read all of thi and for getting to know me!  I hope to see you around :D
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leoxxii · 4 years
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fic writer interview
tagged by - @frill-shark !! I WAS TAGGED IN JANUARY BUT I COMPLETELY FORGOT TO DO IT SO UM. OOPS AKDBKABRWJ
name - hi hello im leo!! i also go by hawk & spooky! hawk is my fursona's name and i used to use spooky a lot while playing among us and got attached to the nickname :o
fandoms - uhh usually i don't write for that many fandoms bc my hyperfixations come and go akbflabrkw but currently i write a lot of subnautica and warrior cats! i also used to write a bit of dbh but uh. my interest in that game dropped HARD i cant even force myself to play it let alone write it anymore so akrhkavrkwhr
where you post - just ao3 😔✊ i usually post links to my writings on tumblr but other than that yeah just a03 :o
most popular oneshot - a jerry-centric dbh thing i wrote like 3 years ago now? it has about 500 hits! its the oldest thing on my ao3 besides my warriors stuff and a03 is not a v popular source of warriors content akfnksbrowbr
most popular multi-chapter - my subnautica: survivors au! first thing since my wattpad days that ive felt genuinely happy with and im glad that other ppl enjoyed my niche little au so much!!
fics you were nervous to post - LITERALLY ALL OF THEM TBH. im always kinda nervous to post content but ive gotten a lot better at being less concerned with it recently! although if i had to choose one uneven odds brought me a lot of trouble bc its That specifically catered to myself. i rewrote it like 3 times just to try to get rid of all the embarrassing parts and i refuse to re-read at all KABDOABROABE
how do you choose your titles - i dont i just close my eyes and spin a roulette wheel and see what happens. FR THOUGH i dont rlly know i just kinda.. choose a phrase or word i like (survivors, the last warriors) or sometimes i use song lyrics (uneven odds, a world alone)
do you outline - yes but im awful at it sjfblavrowvriw. i write very VERY vague outlines that are half shitposty and completely useless as an outline to anybody except for me. i often stray wayyy off the outline too and the story almost always ends up no longer following the outline and i free-write by like half way through 😔✊
favorite story ive written so far - as i mentioned above, red survivors!! the entire series is currently at over 125k words altogether and its been so much fun to write and talk about with its readers. its the first multi-chap fic ive finished in YEARS and im so happy ive stuck with it bc it means so much to me, these characters and their world and interactions make me so emo all the time
complete - out of the 6 i have on a03, 4 are finished! granted 3 of those 4 are oneshots bc im typically not that good at finishing multi-chaptered ones. and this number only includes the fics ive finished enough to get a single chap at least out so um. LABDKABDKBA
in progress - i usually only work on 1 fic at a time so i don't forget about one over the other so im only rlly working on a world alone rn! i am planning a remake of my old warriors story so that's technically in progress ive just been really really slow with it,,, oops
coming soon - ok ok actually i have another subnautica themed thing planned where its like a collection of one-shots of characters on the aurora! i rlly want to further explore and expand the survivors au characters and ive been thinking of a few different scenarios that i could write about,,, might never get finished but im hoping to start writing it once awa is completed! sometime this year if all goes well 👀
prompts - i used to take prompts all the time omg, now i never rlly get any :( but i mean hey, ill try to do something for most prompts if anyone is interested… 👀👀
tagging - uhhh idk how many ppl i know are writers buttttt lets see um @ryttu3k @io-wall @stellar-starryy @flamefoxcat @warriorofkungfu !! no pressure to actually do this tho y'all!!!! i honestly have no idea if some of u write at all but ur all cool ass ppl so yeah!! thabk you for reading ilu all have a good day im embarressed over talking so much byeee !!!!
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sibyl-of-space · 3 years
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Tales of Symphonia ROMHack/Mod Ideas
I’ve taken a few dives into the ToS ROM (GameCube; I have no desire to touch the so-called “HD” version, sorry), and based on my findings, I’m writing a general plan of attack for changes I’d be interested in implementing. Subject to change based on my findings as I look more into it, but these are the things I’m currently looking at. If anyone wants to either follow my progress, or is uninterested and wants to block it, I will be using the Tumblr tag “Leo Tries Modding Tales of Symphonia”.
This post is being somewhat regularly edited to reflect additional changes I want to implement.
Separate Costumes and Titles
This is the #1 priority for me. The primary way in which party members’ stat boosts on level-up is determined is via titles; having good titles is necessary to have good character stats. They literally determine your character builds over the course of the game. However, the optional costumes in ToS are implemented as extra “titles” that grant 0 extra stat boosts; thus if you play the whole game in costume your party’s stats are garbage. I’d like to play a version of ToS that doesn’t punish for fun costumes.
Potential work-arounds:
(Ideal) implement a separate menu for costumes, completely divorcing them from titles. This would probably be really hard especially to gate behind the same costume events the game has, but I’ll see what I can do.
(Cheating) just give the costumes the same stat boosts as the party members’ best titles. If I can figure out how to do this, I’ll probably do it this way first because it seems easiest. I would use the titles that we use in NG+ speedruns because, well, I do NG+ speedruns.
Additional costumes to add in, if I can find a way:
Rutee (battle only) - the ToS ROM has a Rutee model coded as a player character in-battle (unlike the other cameo models which are lumped in with all the other enemies, hers is formatted and named and placed alongside all the playable characters). The only downside to this is many characters trying to use many attacks crash the game, so would need to either include a disclaimer, or find a way to disable moves that would cause a crash; or - ideal, but unlikely - find a way to address and resolve the crashes.
Kratos002 - a Kratos model that looks the same as his default, but the under-capes are colored white instead of purple. I wondered what this was about, but turns out this was actually his original model that was replaced late enough in development it’s still in the game and fully functional. You can see it in this early JP gameplay trailer.
Wings - I’d like to see if I can find a way to make Zelos or Kratos’s wings appear as optional add-ons for them in battle as well. If I can find the data for their enemy models, I might be able to figure it out - we’ll see!
Reinstate JP ToS Functionality
There are a few things that were present in the Japanese version that were patched out for international release and I am interested in reinstating them if possible.
Sound Test - the JP version of the game unlocks a “sound test” menu on the title screen after you beat the game, that lets you listen to any track on request and is just a neat thing. It exists in the English release but is inaccessible except via hacks. I’d like to see if I can add that menu item back in for easy access.
Rename Gem - JP ToS has an item you pick up in an overworld chest that lets you rename your party members. The item itself still exists in the English version’s code but if you hack it in it doesn’t do anything. I’ve found some references to its implementation in the ROM (mentions of “%s Irving, %s Brunel, %s Sage” etc. implying the actual names are being called from a variable, as well as a name entry screen), so I think most of the code for its functionality is still there. This is a matter of seeing what links are missing and determining how difficult it would be to put them back in and get it working again.
Kratos Route Heimdall Scene
Kratos’s ending is my favorite in the game, and I’ve always been a little sad that Lloyd doesn’t get the nighttime talk with anyone if you do it. You get an extended dialogue before the 1v1 fight, but it’s not the same. So my thought is, can I find a way to add one in?
My job: figure out how the other routes’ Heimdall scenes are coded and flagged, and see if I can find a way to tell the Kratos route to call one, and somewhat copy-paste an existing one with tweaks so it plays out a scene with Kratos and Lloyd the night before the fight.
To outsource: if I can get that far, I would outsource the writing to an interested 3rd party, as writing is not my forte. This is a “will cross bridge when get to it” step because I suspect it will be a long, long while before I’ve made enough progress to be ready for it.
Affection Tracker
I’m still not completely sold on whether I want to do this, and it’s not a priority, but I think it might be nice to have a tracker accessible somewhere to see what party members’ affection values are. This would probably be REALLY complicated, but maybe the ideal way to do it would be to modify the fortune teller’s dialogue to say “If I were to attach a number to how this person feels about you, I would say [AFFECTION VALUE]” at the end of her assessment. Maybe a bit on-the-nose, but eh. Could make it toggle-off-able if people don’t want it.
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So far, I’ve found the data all of the models in battle and on the field (hence how I found Rutee and Kratos002), as well as the maps and skits. I have a hunch as to where the cutscene data is but it’s going to be complicated to narrow down. Will post updates and follow-up as I make progress. I intend to start another thread on Romhacking.net once I have enough to justify it. >:)
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wingsofkpop · 4 years
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Important Blog Update: MAJOR Changes Coming — Please Read
I’ve honestly been holding off on making this post for the last few months for various reasons; one, being the fear of changing the dynamic this blog has grown accustomed for the past year, and two, the backlash I may receive because of said changes. After deep consideration, however, I think it would be best to go through with this. 
This year has brought so much to this blog, and I will forever be grateful for all the support I have received, but my writing style has evolved, and so has my interests and wants. Please keep in mind that you don’t have to agree with these changes, nor do you have to stay here if it upsets you that greatly. You are free to unfollow anytime, but you do not have the right to send hateful comments or insults. This is my blog, and I will continue to create what I want and what I enjoy. As I always say, please be kind to those around you. 
Below you will find a number of changes that will occur over the next few weeks or so. Once I have updated my rules and guidelines, hopefully by next week, I will open my requests again. Feel free to send me a respectful message if you have any questions or concerns: 
The only groups I will write for from now on are Got7 and Stray Kids — This is the main reason why I held off on making this post. I know I’ve said in the past that I wanted to add more groups, and at one point I did with Monsta X, Astro, and maybe Twice, but I eventually decided against it. It’s already hard enough to write for three groups as it is and figure out a way to dish out content in a way that one group is not getting more than another. Remember when I said that my interests have changed since I started this blog?... That’s why I won’t write for Day6 anymore. I don’t know what else to say except that I find more enjoyment in writing for Got7 and Stray Kids. I still love the boys of Day6 very much, nor do I hold any ill will toward them--it’s just how things changed, and I apologize to anyone who is disappointed by this, but I stand by my opinions and my decisions. 
I will no longer be writing reactions — To be completely honest, I don’t know why I ever began writing reactions in the first place. I’ve never really liked to write them, especially since they can become very repetitive after awhile (literally every NSFW Got7 reaction I’ve written). I’ve always preferred to write actual storylines that come with drabbles and one-shots. And though it’s not a necessary reason, finding gifs to go with each of the members reaction is just so fucking annoying cause sometimes Tumblr screws with the tags and visibility of the post and it just proves to be more hassle than worth.
In regards to Timestamp Sunday, I will only post FIVE stamps per Sunday from now on — Listen y’all, writing 6+ stamps per day is just pure chaos. I know they’re short, but they still require a lot of work and effort. Plus, it probably annoys some of you when I’m spamming new posts left and right. So from now on, when I ask for timestamp requests, there will be a first come, first serve, wait list type of system kind of similar to Timestamp Weekend. More info on this will be provided at a later date. 
New addition of Got7/Stray Kids specific member as... bulleted lists (no clue what to call them yet) — These will be kind of similar to reactions, but much easier, more fun, and less time-consuming to write. I could spit out a couple of these all in the span of a week, plus the idea itself just sounds appealing. Again, more info will be provided at a later time. 
New theme, schedule, masterlists and other links (again) — This shouldn’t surprise anyone to be honest lol. My masterlists will be out of commission when I eventually update them, but I’ll let you guys know when that time comes. In the mean time, I’ll also have to decide whether I want Jaebeom or Chris as my profile pic :( 
Group chat for other writing blogs/writers to find tips, ideas and whatever else you need! — I honestly just want a reason to test out Tumblr’s group chat thing, but if you ever need any help with fics, essays or just writing in general, feel free to join the group chat and connect with other writers! If anyone is interested and wants to get into/improve in writing, I can figure out a way to host some small lessons or something? I am certainly not a professional, but I’m always down to help! 
There’s a couple other little things, but I believe I hit the brunt of everything. As I said before, you have every right to dislike or be upset by these changes, but please, please, please do not act out in a hateful or resentful manner. This blog acts as a safe, positive place for everyone and I will not tolerate those who seek to take that away. 
Thank you for understanding, 
-Kitty💕
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solar-pxwered · 4 years
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GET TO KNOW THE MUN REPOST DON’T REBLOG
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———  BASICS! ♡
(PEN)NAME:    Panja
PRONOUNS:    she / her
ZODIAC SIGN:     Leo
TAKEN OR SINGLE:     Single
———  THREE  FACTS! ♡
Every pet I have is rescued/adopted
I can’t whistle no matter how many years I have tried.
i am professional singer. I mean that in the way that...I’ve been paid to sing a few times, ha ha ha!
———  EXPERIENCE! ♡
Like the poster before me whom I copied this from, my RP experience begins on Neopets. It all started when I created an OC for a Harry Potter guild named Abyssinia. From there I moved on to Fanfiction and then eventually Skype chat RP groups and then finally ended up here on Tumblr. All in all, that’s about 15 years of RP or more...I don’t remember exactly how old I was when I started on Neopets.
———  MUSE  PREFERENCE! ♡
i honestly have had a very diverse muse choice. One thing that seems to draw me to a muse is CONFIDENCE. I started with Connie Springer from Attack on Titan, a jokester, silly, small but mighty, loyal and brave. I moved on to Black*Star from Soul Eater, the embodiment of self-assuredness and straight up COCKINESS. I had Xerxes Break from Pandora Hearts who is...he’s something else. He’s not confident, he’s actually very self depreciating, but he has the AIR of confidence and absolute lack of concern about anything. Then there was Ramsay Bolton...who doesn’t give a FUCK about anyone’s opinion but his father...but then he kills him so that didn’t last long. Now it’s Sun. I also favor male muses for some reason? And I can’t even tell you why.
———  FLUFF / ANGST / SMUT! ♡    
FLUFF:   Fluff if love, fluff is life. I love fluff because it’s so pure and relaxing to write and it makes me squeal because it’s cuuuuuute.
ANGST:   Angst is my guilty pleasure. I am ALWAYS in the mood for some good angst, the angstierm, the better...however I do like my angsts to end happily. Usually. But there are exceptions! Especially in my White Fang verse.
SMUT:     Love it. Writing smut is incredibly fun and it can also be hilarious at times. It gives me a chance to get to know muns a bit better than other genres too because, let’s be real, it takes some real discussion to write a proper smut thread. You can never just ASSUME anything in a smut thread!
PLOT / MEMES:   I WANT TO PLOT BUT I SUCK AT IT. I’m such a wing-it kind of girl about literally everything in my life so actually plotting can be hard for me, but it’s something I need to get better at. As for memes??? ALL DAY, EVERY DAY.
tagged by: @anchoredstowaways​ told me to tag!!!!
tagging: You people!!!
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