Something that schools don't teach you but is much needed: how to have a work/life balance that works for you.
As someone who works fulltime and does classes and attempts a social life and hobbies, this gets very hard and stressful. But here are some tips I have for helping:
Learn to say no and not feel guilty. Picking up that extra shift when you had plans? Politely decline. Your friend is begging you to take ANOTHER class when your plate is full so you can have one together? Just be honest and say you can't.
Prioritize your sleep and eating. You can't function well if you don't sleep and eat enough. These are not things you can just push aside and do when you get the time. These are basic things you need to survive. These are literally basic needs. Don't throw them to the side. Your body does its best to take care of you. Make sure you take care of it too.
Have boundaries and be firm with them. If you tell your manager you can only work x, y, and z, don't let them add a or b to it. Respectfully but firmly let them know that you can't take on those things and if they have you do a or b, your work overall is going to majorly decrease in quality. Schedule time for yourself. For studying. For going out. And treat those set aside times just like you would if they were work or school times or appointments. You are the most important part of your life.
Understand that some weeks are going to be absolute hell. You're not going to have enough time. You're going to be exhausted and cry and throw things and want to quit everything. You got this babe. Take breaks and remind yourself how amazing you are and treat yourself after.
Prioritize things and adopt better habits. Wash your dishes right after using them. Get a set bedtime. Get easy breakfast things. Take a walk.
Your friends will understand if you just need time alone. I promise. They love you and don't hate you because you're overwhelmed. I PROMISE. And if they don't, maybe they aren't really your friends.
Not everyone is a friend. Some people are acquaintances. Some people are a 5 minute smoke break at work for your sanity. Some people are drinking buddies. Some people are library study date friends. And that's ok! Not everyone has to be your bestie. And trying to put that much energy into that many people will drain you.
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I think the most amazing thing about Alhaitham's ironic question "How has realizing your ideals gone for you?" is that yes, on the surface, it pierced through the heart of Kaveh's feelings at the time and forced him to reflect on whether he still had enough belief to keep going, but--BUT--
This is also Alhaitham subtly asking: "Was your life better without me?"
Kaveh left their friendship because of his ideals.
Kaveh's attempts to realize his beliefs began in earnest during his argument with Alhaitham, who challenged him back then by suggesting that Kaveh didn't honestly believe in his ideals and was just pursuing them out of guilt and a desire to punish himself for his father's death.
Kaveh's attempt to "realize his ideals," therefore, spans the exact amount of time he and Alhaitham have been separated. When Alhaitham asks about Kaveh's attempts, he's asking very specifically about the course Kaveh's life took when he was no longer in it.
How did it go for you? Were you happier? Was it worth it?
I truly believe that Kaveh will be able resolve his conflict with Alhaitham--and come to understand Alhaitham's actual feelings--when he realizes that, in that exact moment, he should have turned the question around:
How did realizing your ideals go for you, Alhaitham?
Was your life better off without me?
No.
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It took 2 people to fully convince Crosshair to do a 180 on the Empire - but neither of those people were Bad Batch members.
They couldn't be. What would a squad of defective clones who had been disobeying orders since day 1 know about loyalty to an institution determined to establish order for the good of the galaxy? What would they know about finding purpose in being "good soldiers"?
Now, I DO think the seeds of Crosshair's eventual defection were planted by his brothers. Hunter pointing out that "Blind allegiance makes you a pawn" and then telling Crosshair "All you'll ever be to them is a number" are statements that are proven later to be true. But it takes Cody and Mayday to drive the lessons home.
Cody and Mayday share several characteristics that place them in unique positions to influence Crosshair:
Both are regs who accepted and befriended Crosshair - Cody says he specifically asked for Crosshair for the mission, and Mayday is upfront and friendly to Crosshair right from the start. (Contrast this to the other regs getting up to move tables when Crosshair sits to eat, or the other clone troopers who walk past Crosshair to get onto the shuttle without even sparing him a glance.)
Both are commanders. (I believe Crosshair ultimately respects authority for the most part: even when he was arguing with and challenging Hunter in "Aftermath," he still deferred to Hunter's orders until his inhibitor chip was intensified and he was then promoted to commander.)
Both are loyal soldiers who have served the Empire well - again, these regs are still commanders even under the new government. And we all know how important loyalty to the Empire is to Crosshair at this point.
Both save Crosshair's life during their missions.
In short, both are regs, but they are still soldiers Crosshair can quickly identify with and trust.
I think it's key that Crosshair encountered Cody before Mayday, though. And despite their similarities, both soldiers drive home different points.
CODY
Cody is one of the few regs we know Crosshair already respected - and still respects, given that Crosshair almost smiles when he recognizes him.
(Some proof in case it isn't apparent: Crosshair goes from frowny face...
...to relaxed almost-happy-if-you-squint-just-right face)
Anyway, while Cody does drop some hints early on that he has doubts about the Empire, he is willing to carry out the mission to rescue "Governor" Grotton, showing he will follow orders to a certain extent. However, he shows more restraint than Crosshair might have: he doesn't attack the civilians despite their obvious mistrust of the soldiers, he comes to an understanding with Tawni Ames, he's NOT willing to follow an order to execute her, and he is clearly dismayed and disappointed by her death.
And so, at the end of a "successful" mission, Cody more plainly reveals the depth of his dissatisfaction with following orders against one's own moral scruples:
Hunter had said "Blind allegiance makes you a pawn." And Cody, unwilling to blindly and unquestioningly be a pawn - or act like a battle droid - any longer, goes AWOL.
But that lesson alone isn't enough to make Crosshair turn on the Empire. Instead, he needs Mayday to give him the final push.
MAYDAY
First, Mayday indicates how appalled he is by the idea of anyone leaving their own behind - which we know is a sore spot for Crosshair. But most importantly, Mayday has demonstrated since he was first introduced that he strongly believes in soldiers being loyal to and looking out for each other (which is far different than just being loyal to the Empire).
Second, Mayday unknowingly challenges Crosshair's belief that serving the Empire provides meaningful purpose. (Remember that one of Crosshair's main arguments to his brothers about joining the Empire was so they could "find purpose again.")
Then, he unwittingly goes for the jugular and rips apart the motto Crosshair had adopted.
And then, in case Crosshair has any lingering doubts about the answer to Mayday's rhetorical question, Nolan decidedly answers the question for him.
Hunter had said "All you'll ever be to them is a number," and he is proven right in the most heartbreaking way.
Crosshair had accused his brothers of not being loyal to him; unfortunately, now he sees what true disloyalty looks like. And for Crosshair - severe and unyielding - realizing that he has misplaced his loyalty by giving it to an entity that mocks him and casts him AND those he cares about aside for doing so... this is the final straw.
Thankfully, Crosshair has now rediscovered the people who are worthy of his loyalty.
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We need to get a little uncomfortable for a minute. But it's ok. You have to be uncomfortable in order to grow.
You're going to fail. You're going to disappoint people and yourself. You're going to have moments where you're so overwhelmed that you're curled in a ball crying and frustrated. You're going to miss important milestones. You're going to drop the ball so many times things seem impossible. You're going to fail. You're going to be mean. You're going to be a bad person at points. It's life. It happens. You just need to understand that it happens. And on those days where you want to dissappear and never be seen again because everything is too much, your brain is going to amplify all these faults and failures and make them seem worse.
Babe. We all go through this. We ALL fail. We ALL make awful choices and fuck people and ourselves over. We ALL will have moments where we are the villains. Where we completely fail a lot of people in our lives due to bad decisions. It will happen. Probably multiple times. What matters is that you recognize these things and make appropriate changes in your life to help make sure that next time isn't as bad. Maybe start learning time management so you're not stressed constantly and blowing up on everyone. Maybe find a healthy outlet like painting or the gym or cooking. Find small, simple joys to make life better. It's going to suck. You're going to be the bad guy. But that's not your entire life.
It's uncomfortable and hard to sit with. Sometimes things are your fault. Sometimes you make bad choices and they fuck your life up and fuck others over at the same time. It happens. You can't change the past, but you have the power to change your future. You can change your future. Talk to people. Find yourself outlets. Learn skills. Things get better, but they only do so if you put the effort for them to do so. I love you. You're trying. And that's all you can do. And one day you'll slip backwards and feel so defeated but when that happens, you'll have many tools to help you get even further. I promise babe everything will be ok.
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