#a hyperfixation of mine since 2010

[immortalmuses]

i have a type

[callmeajorallie]

I'm not sure why but ever since the internet was blessed/cursed with "Battle for Nightmare Moon" (Reminder I don't support Hypercrystal) It has consumed my brain to the point I have created an entire au based around it. For the longest time, I've wanted to share it, but at the beginning I was stopped by social awkwardness, followed by the Hypercrystal controversy & not wishing to be associated with him. But now that I've used Tumbler more, I've gotten more comfortable sharing this hyperfixation of mine & all the craziness that comes with it. Starting off, here's the general outline in regards to my take on bfnm (I have yet to figure out a name for my version of bfnm). 1. Time frame - Each season would be written to take place during the same time period as their respective bfdi season counterpart (ex. Season 1 - 2010/2012) 2. Gender - Yes, gender. Why? Well to go with the opposite theme, my dumbass brain decided to default gender-swap each character (With a few exceptions, e.i Winner) lest I decide otherwise. Now why am I mentioning this? Because various other takes on bfnm has the cast keep the gender the same as their bfdi counterpart, which sometime causes people to I guess correct me- but hey, these are open-source objects, nor was there confirmed genders. 3. Cast - You think I just limited myself to the opposites? Ha! Lol no. So before the whole Hyper drama (We'll get to that soon), I had planned to involve the characters from another video of his that were also open-sourced (e.i What if bfdi had new team members) as contestants because, like everything else, I could. 4. Hosts - Bringing up the drama again, before such, I decided to have Hypercrystal as a character, being the host. Why? Because every version of bfnm I saw had a mock announcer box of some sort so I wanted to be unique I guess (idk I'm thinking back like 9 months). Now, this hasn't changed in the slightest, for I have pre-planned too much to be ruined by drama, but also out of spite (The trauma I have prepared for this crystal ball). However, that's not the only crystal I've snatched (e.i the 100kly Object show contestants), recreated the assets & all because these goobers are too silly. Oh yeah, also the number hosts are negative versions of themselves (except x, bro became y).

Anyway with that out of the way & to follow up on it, we have my designed for the other crystals (The photo above is for reference- Also I tried to post these fools in a reblog of an earlier post of mine but the reblog wasn't reblogging so-) Brighter/Darker Crystal

Liarcrystal (4s lookin ahh)

My personal favorite; Spidercrystal

& Finally, Diapercrystal, who for the sake of bfnm my take has been redesigned & renamed to Cringecrystal

Why am I obsessed with these silly objects? I don't know, I just think they're neat & have an entire notebook dedicated to them, on other news & to finish to ramble off, take these character sheets I made for bfnm my take Watery & Steely before the Hyper controversy (I'll probably make new assets for the bfnm but we'll see if I can give enough effort to do that-)

(The gif isn't gifing I think-)

[wake-me-up-inside-imagines]

Who/what inspired you to come up with each character in MM? I love those cuties! 🥹

Thank you so much! I'm gonna focus on the origins of the main pack in this post since they have the most personality, but let me know if you want any more detail on some background characters!

Leo has always been around because at his base level, he's essentially a self-insert oc. His character grew and fluctuated as I grew up, so his personality really just became whatever my own was at any given time. Since I began writing for him he's gained a decent amount of his own character, especially since I write him to be older than I currently am, but a lot of his personality is still relatively similar to mine. Overall, he's been around since I started imagining myself as part of the media I consumed.

I can't remember exactly when Rain came to be, but I think he originally started out as a my hero oc. I remember I was creating a large group of ocs for a friend group, and Rain was part of that crew. I think it was a vigilante au where the hero's where prepping ua to go up against a newfound vigilante group that took out villains and corrupt heroes, only to realize that one of the members was Aizawa's adopted kid + that kid's friend group. I always loved alternative genres of style and music (still do), and I still carry a lot of angst from my warrior cat/nightcore/early 2010's youtube phase, so I created a stereotypical emo character to project my edginess onto (keep in mind I was like, fourteen, so please don't judge me). That character was Rain! He was actually originally much more of a quiet, brooding character, but as I began really spending time developing my ocs, he became the boisterous dude I write him as today. Not sure when that switch happened, but I'm glad it did.

When it came to Micah, he was somewhat of a joke character at first. He was inspired by mountain from GHOST, which i was heavily hyperfixated on at the time. I thought it would be really funny to have a comically tall character, and since both mountain and Micah shared that characteristic, I kinda just yoinked mountain's fandom assigned personality and slapped it onto Micah (I think part of why I did that was also because I was creating ghoul apprentice ocs for my own GHOST au, and I was basing the mentor/apprentice duos off of personality). For there he followed the same path as Rain; I started working on him more as a character, and his personality changed until it is what it is today. I always liked the gentle giant trope so Micah's kind, calm attitude stayed the same, but he definitely speaks more often (originally he only spoke when spoken to), and he has more depth to his traits than i originally gave him.

Ren started off as a Voltron oc. He was a galra soldier under Lotor's command, although he was never much of a fighter. I don't remember much of what the plotline was for that story, but I do remember that he was just as shy and awkward as he is to this day. I think that was the charm at the time, I enjoyed seeing characters in roles that contradicted their personality. Once I started creating my own universe of characters, I carried him over, and that's where his actual backstory and family life started coming together.

Fun fact: Ren's original name was Suka. There's a character in Super Danganronpa another 2 that had the nickname Suka (or at least it was part of her name), and I thought it was cute. I changed it to Ren when i googled what Suka meant and according to google, it means "to vomit" (if that's incorrect please don't crucify me, that's just what came up when I looked it up). not the greatest thing to name such a sweet character, so I took pity on him and changed it.

I can't remember exactly how Charlie came to be. I think he might have also been been inspired by one of the GHOST ghouls (specifically dew/sodo), but I genuinely can't remember if that's how he was created, or if I just shaped him to be like that ghoul after he was made. Either way, I always liked the "tough guy who's a softie for their s/o and friends" trope, so that's mostly what inspired Charlie. After that, it was just another case of working on his character and backstory, coming up with scenarios to develop him as a character further.

Rachel is the only one who doesn't have a fully developed character, mostly because she's a baby. I'm sure I'll write some stuff of her when she's older, but that won't be for a while. Having said that, she was the sole oc in Mate Madness that was created for that specific story.

I always liked larger pack dynamics in omegaverse fiction just because it's more fun to read/write, so I picked the ocs that I felt would fit the best together. I had already written a piece with the five mates getting together in the past, so I took that idea and made Mate Madness! I hoped that answered your question!

[amaliazeichnerin]

Thinking about my current hyperfixation and celebrity crush (again)

I read this question for an online acquaintance of mine and I want to answer it too.

What movie was the first time you saw Dan Stevens in?

It wasn't a film, it was the series "Downton Abbey" (starting in 2010) and while I liked his character Matthew Crawley, I didn't become a fan right away.

In 2020, I watched Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga and again, I really liked his funny, over the top, sort of weird yet endearing character Alexander Lemtov. But again, I didn't develop a celebrity crush or a hyperfixation back then.

In November 2024, I had mental health struggles, rewatched that film - because to me, it's a sort of a feel-good and comforting film - and then the hyperfixation hit me. Since then, I have been watching a lot of films and series with Dan Stevens and I still haven't watched all there is. But that's alright, the joy will last longer. 😊

I have also drawn/painted fanart and have written fanfictions - and read fanfics about his characters.

The hyperfixation has now cooled down a bit, so to speak, but I still want to watch anything with him that I can get a hold of.

[limisims]

❀Introduction❀

An overdue intro of mine.

Hi! You can call me Limi and i'm a digital artist who likes drawing fanart and oc art. Mostly oc art. Been drawing since 2010.

❀ She/her

❀ Adult

❀ I pretty much draw whatever i want. whatever i'm hyperfixated on

❀ I usually post my art or lurk for art to like. too shy to actually interact with ppl 💀

Things I enjoy:

Shows/movies❀:

❀ Hunter x hunter

❀ JJBA

❀ Magi (read the manga)

❀ Demon slayer

❀ Arcane

❀ Harry potter

❀ Dune

❀ Winx club

❀ Alice in borderlands

Games:

❀ Honkai star rail

❀ Infinity Nikki

❀ sims 2

❀ Dragon age not veilguard

Fave characters❀:

❀ feitan, Chrollo, Kurapika, Machi,

❀ Acheron, Welt

❀ xiao, wanderer/scaramouche, alrecchino,

❀ mei, Fu hua (hi3)

❀ Sinbad

Dni list❀:

❀ basic dni criteria

❀ just rude or toxic people in general

Other socials❀:

❀ Instagram : Limisims

❀ Bluesky: Limi❀

[broadway-aradia]

Hello!

I think I have been following you since 2014 or 2015 maybe and I felt like taking a trip down the memory lane.

Could you talk about why you joined tumblr in the first place? What was your first fandom vs what is the most recent one? How your life changed since you've joined vs how is it going now?

Have a wonderful day or night!

HEY! thank you for following me for so long! that is such a big chonk of time. i love that you’re still here!

i have a really hazy memory from my ADHD sadly and rely a ton on my brother and one of my besties whose memory is damn near perfect to keep my own story straight. but i definitely joined tumblr because of nerd word of mouth—i believe it was back in 2010 when i was working under the table at a local comic book store as a young teen!

i guess you could say my first fandom experience was with DC comics, pre-new 52 reboot. i was really into it on my own before joining tumblr so it was amaaazing to explore all of the fan content and finally connect with other people about an interest that was pretty solitary for me before that. the series “young justice” airing on cartoon network around that time helped expose a lot of new fans to the DC universe too! that was such a fun show. and i’m realizing now that the anon i replied to before this one asked about PAST fictional crushes of mine, and i totally fumbled on answering—i would have taken a god damn bullet for wally west during this era. i probably still would!

DC rebooted their entire comics lineup and retconned and fucked up everything i loved in 2011 and then young justice was cancelled not long after so that was kind of that for me. i became a generic superwholock shitposter for a while, then the homestuck era began :)

these days i still get hyperfixated on media but i feel like fandom has diminished a bit in that there aren’t tons and tons of people online with the same brainrot who want to gnash teeth and howl at the moon with me. maybe i’m missing out because i didn’t join twitter? but getting into gideon the ninth/the locked tomb has been really fun for me the last few weeks because there’s so much good art, fic, and engagement on here for it :)

as far as how life has changed—basically i just, grew up! i finished school, went to college in vermont. my mom passed away. came home and have been working random jobs. i live with my partner in a very small studio and really miss having a piano. but i still practice singing and mess around on my baritone uke. i’m 26 now, very much feeling like i’m in a waiting period before my real life starts. i wonder what will happen! :)

[stanacct]

obligatory pinned

so u know what you're getting yourself into

im doss, i use they/them or she/her pronouns, im 27, my main acct is @st00p-kidd and my neurodiversity/mental health blog is @neurodiverseuniverse.

Blog Content:

mostly dan and phil tbh

walking dead

garrett watts and andrew siwiki

twenty one pilots, all time low, occasional mcr fob or panic

Content Warnings:

there may be an occasional post thats a bit NSFW or triggering

i will try my best to tag all possible triggering posts

my blog is not for minors, so i wont be tagging the occasional nsfw posts

My Tags: #doss_says #mine #bbque

pls come say hi. i've been on this bitch since 2010 so your current hyperfixation and weird kinks in your fave fics are safe with me lmao

* * M I N O R S * *

feel free to interact with my posts and stuff like that but pls do not not message me privately. anyone without their age in their profile, i wont respond to

[inkyboyo]

hii sorry if you've already made a post about it or something but i'm curious as to how u got into smosh!! i feel like its rare to hear about new people in the fandom so i was just wondering about ur story :3

thank you for the ask i appreciate it a lot!!!

i haven’t really made a post talking about how i got into smosh so i’m so happy to answer this!

for reference, i had and have been an anthony padilla fan for a whiileeee since i was 10 years old because of his “i spent a day with” series, but i never knew about smosh until 7th grade maybe? and even then i had just heard about it.

funnily enough, i recently remembered that i had listened to that one h3h3 podcast episode with ian and markiplier so i had heard ian talk about smosh but i still had no idea what it was and didn’t make the connection that he was talking about anthony Lol

anyways how i got into smosh!!!

in february, i because hyperfixated on classic smosh (early 2010s sketches) but i didn’t really know any of the lore, and i knew anthony left in 2017 and was empathic with it a lot but i didn’t really know details yk??

i was basically just watching iconic smosh sketches and watching some silly stupid sleepovers but that was it. the hyperfixation ended after a couple of days, but i’ve always been a fan of anthony so i didn’t completely detach from it.

anyways, when anthony tweeted out that they had bought smosh back, all of those feelings came FLOODING back and i was SO HAPPY.

and i quickly became super invested once again, and started watching WAYY more smosh videos, and for over a month i’ve been getting really into it (as you can tell from my blog LOL) and i actually know everyone now, and i absolutely love the new cast and love everyone at smosh, and i’m super excited about it all STILL even if i’m not technically hyperfixated on it anymore. it’s just a interest of mine now.

anyways sorry if this lengthy response is not what you wanted, i just got really passionate about it, hope you don’t mind! :)

[late-moonie-thoughts]

I have had this little issue for most of my life that I know a lot of women relate to cuz yall are like me - reading smut since you were far too young, but very innocent looking on the outside for reasons (mine was trauma and not wanting to take up space), when the reality is I'm very kinky and I want someone to kneel in front of (did you see the religious trauma too) but you can't just put your business out there, at least not where I live and still have people respect you as a human being unless they're just like you so then you meet men who are absolute garbage and think you're a 'good girl' and not in the kinky sense, just in the vanilla, doesn't break rules, goes to church sense when I'm an active hater of all religion because I think they're all cults, my ears weren't pierced for years because my family is seventh day adventist and did I mention there was a Jean Kirschtein smut fic on here that altered my brain chemistry and now I want that to happen, but how? I'll never know.

Do I need to start dressing like the bisexual that I am? because I don't know but I am so fucking tired of these men assuming things about me like they know me from a place. Literally the only people able to clock me are the ones like because they know. I can clock someone like me from a SINGULAR CONVERSATION and that's how I made a friend at work because this dude was just oversharing and I was like hmm he definitely has adhd or autism and then he said, "yeah anyone who's drawn to me has adhd, autism or something else," and we've been friends since and we even read smut manhwa together on the bus which is wild because again. Who does this? And then he's more mentally fucked than I am which is fun because then I'm not the weirdest in the room for saying I'm into a manhwa where a girl married 30 elves and had a 2 week long wedding night but there's acutally more to the story than the self insertion but anyway. I am insane, I just happen to interact with the normies with no depth or emotional responses.

Don't even get me started on the psuedo psychology ones because how bout you actually do the degree instead of watching 12 million tiktoks and having the fucking audacity to tell me, "Everybody has adhd or autism" like more people haven't been getting tested. Like we didn't need the label because my parents NEVER understood I was different, and that just because I was well-behaved (again, negative attention growing up from acting out when I had needs), and like you don't know the person with that one hyperfixation from since you were like 6. If that wasn't you btw.

I am so tired of meeting men who have the emotional depth of a 12 year old boy from 2010 act like they know jack shit about anything and then wonder why they're single, lonely and nobody wants them.

[myosotideae]

Introductions

Hi, I'm Stina / Lisk (she/her) Other places to find me - Photography ig : Bluesky : Twitter/X : Redbubble Request: ✓ (but no guarantee) -> Ask Box

This isn't my first account, but after a recent bout of poor mental health, I scrubbed most of my accounts off the internet. Now that I'm feeling better, I wanted to get back into it, so I guess this is a fresh start. Aliases/blog names I've used before: Frau(or Miss)-Doku, a-lonely-me, Lisk-Art and lisk-photography I'm probably an old lady compared to most of you (born dec 92), and I've been on and off Tumblr since around 2011-2012. I was diagnosed with autism in recent years, which explains a lot and is probably why I hyperfixate on my fandoms so much (+ another reason I'm back on Tumblr, I suppose). My main interests at the moment are Genshin Impact and Nu: Carnival, but I still really enjoy The Arcana as well.

I like to draw, but whether I can actually sit down and do it really depends on my mood. Besides drawing myself, I’m a big art enjoyed, I love seeing what other people create! I also used to cosplay a lot, especially in the 2010s, but I stopped after gaining weight and starting to feel too old for it. Recently, I’ve dipped my toe back in, at least a little, thanks to the encouragement of my friends. So far, I’ve made and worn Adelinde from Genshin Impact, and I’m currently working on Inko Midoriya from My Hero Academia and the Darkwood Circus version of Hatsune Miku (an absolute dream cosplay of mine since 2009) Last but not least, I love taking photos of cosplays, it's another great outlet for my ideas, plus it makes the people getting the photos happy.

[goldenwanderer]

Last year I went through my tumblr archive to see how 2023 went. Turns out my autistic ass likes rereading posts like that, so here we go again, taking a look back at what I did on tumblr in 2024.

January through July were slow months, activity-wise. I averaged between 10-15 reblogs, with July having the most at 17. And for some reason I reblogged nothing at all in March (what the hell happened? I don't know). I can see that I watched Fallout in April and Bridgerton in July, and while both were excellent, they didn't trigger the auDHD.

August and September were nearly as slow, though this is when I replayed Dragon Age: Inquisition for the first time in years, and got reinvested in my inquistior oc and her new love interest. Definitely didn't have a m/f romance becoming one of my favorites on my 2024 bingo card, but we are where we are.

October started out slow... until the 19th. That was the day I binged the available episodes of Agatha All Along with my best friend. And, well. Major hyperfixation activated.

One thing I've learned - you really can tell when I have an ongoing hyperfixation, just by watching my tumblr activity. If you suddenly see an onslaught of posts from one thing and nothing else, you know I'm deep in it.

I did the math, and in the two months since I started watching, I've used the #agatha all along tag over 630 times. That's already surpassed the fandom tags of both #wheel of time (483) and #star trek (419), and is only behind #warehouse 13 (1364, holy shit) and #glee (875) - and all of those are fandoms I've been part of for over a decade.

Right at the end of November, the AAA grip loosened just enough to let in other input. Some of this was basically just an extension of the AAA madness - re: Aubrey Plaza in Happiest Season - but there was also some Wicked in there too. (Wicked was a massive special interest of mine circa 2010, before my tumblr days, so obviously that was going to break through.) Despite this, we are still well and truly aboard the AAA train, for at least a little while longer.

And that's the summary of my 2024 on tumblr. Once again, it turns out I am a queer neurodivergent nerd. Shocking, really. Looking forward to what happens next year.

[ic-napology]

Thank you @sunsolii :3

ೃ⁀➷ hiii hi here’s just a random question form ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

: ̗̀➛ what’s ur fav color: Salmon-ish pink, magenta

: ̗̀➛ how long have u been on tumblr for: My account is active since 2022, I dabbled as a host for longer

: ̗̀➛ wheres a place u always wanted to travel to: Japan or India

: ̗̀➛ what’s ur fav clothing brand(s): Thierry Mugler and Schiaparelli (let a girl dream on)

: ̗̀➛ what’s ur fav singer/band(s): Katy Perry in 2010s, Måneskin now

: ̗̀➛ what’s ur current phone lockscreen: Pescara's shore at dawn

:̗̀➛ most recent/current hyperfixation: Formula 1, Makeup and Makeup artists

: ̗̀➛ what’s ur relationship status: single

: ̗̀➛ what’s ur dream job: F1 driver as a child, now I just aim at being financially stable through mine

: ̗̀➛ outside of tumblr, fav social app: Instagram

: ̗̀➛ do u have pets: No

: ̗̀➛ do u prefer tea or coffee: Coffee always

: ̗̀➛ whats ur fav ice cream flavor: Chocolate or Biscuit

: ̗̀➛ tag at least three other tumblr accounts

@akiiame-blog @aphrostiel @credo--ergo-sum @formulanni

random questions :3

tagged by the very kind @marquisevonobst thank u ily

ೃ⁀➷ hiii hi here’s just a random question form ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

: ̗̀➛ what’s ur fav color: it changes a lot, rn it's orange.,,

: ̗̀➛ how long have u been on tumblr for: since 2017 but i only got rlly active around 2021

: ̗̀➛ wheres a place u always wanted to travel to: less obvious answer besides Het Loo would be el DF

: ̗̀➛ what’s ur fav clothing brand(s): i don't wear clothes i'm a creature

: ̗̀➛ what’s ur fav singer/band(s): MASA Works Design, of course, also PEPOYO + Maretu were rlly life changing for me tbh

: ̗̀➛ what’s ur current phone lockscreen: Mary II !!

: ̗̀➛ most recent/current hyperfixation: Duke of Shrewsbury and ISIS

: ̗̀➛ what’s ur relationship status: single forever hell yea

: ̗̀➛ what’s ur dream job: pimp?? i dunno i'm scared

: ̗̀➛ outside of tumblr, fav social app: does wechat count ? i would say twitter but i come out of there always feeling worse than i did before

: ̗̀➛ do u have pets: kind of

: ̗̀➛ if u do have pets, what kind/how many: bay quarter horse

: ̗̀➛ do u prefer tea or coffee: coffeeeee

: ̗̀➛ whats ur fav ice cream flavor: mint chocolate chip

: ̗̀➛ tag at least three other tumblr accounts

@basket-lily @cloudboundcritters @unanchored-ship :3c no pressure !!

[ibroughtyoumybullets]

you got into mcr as an ADULT?

ok wait i think this is from the other night when i let the one direction beast out of her cage but i love telling this story so im answering it late. sorry i don’t look at my inbox enough.

yes!! kind of. <- short answer.

long answer: so i was starting to get into rock music when i was about … 12? my first Band That Was Mine was paramore but after the farro brothers left the band in 2010 i was in search of something else to love. i got into atl (eugh) and the Maine (the loves of my life listen to the maine NOW) and fall out boy (don’t listen to them that much anymore but they were important to my musical development) and that old Ryan Ross and Dallon Weekes project that fell off (weird that they never released anything after v&v? anyhow) and several other bands that were accessible to my little 12 year old brain.

and then one day when i was listening to camisado on YouTube i was looking for other songs that made me Feel The Same and this song by this band called my chemical romance called Mama popped up in the yt recommended sidebar. so I listened to it and was like “wait why is this music scary. this song makes me scared. am i even allowed to listen to this it has the word mama and hell in it am I gonna get in trouble” and got nervous and stopped listening. but i would go back to it every so often and it led me to teenagers which I would listen to when I wanted to feel cool and wttbp which was wholly inaccessible to my 12 year old brain but i still thought was cool anyhow.

and then, later, maybe a couple months later? i was on YouTube watching the what makes you beautiful music video over and over again and this song called NaNaNa came up in recommended. and the music video BLEW MY LITTLE BRAIN AWAY. IT WAS UNLIKE ANYTHING I HAD EVER SEEN BEFORE. the colors and cars and the outfits and the GUITARS and the guns and the lyrics … fucking altered the fabric of my life. so I watched the sing music video and it did the same to me and i was motherfucking INTRUIGED. so I did some googling and saw they had started to release new music. i didn’t really understand the a/b side singles format but I thought maybe this was just a different way bands released albums. so I waited patiently for each single drop - and it wasn’t quite like their other music but it still really interested me.

this, notably, was around the time i started attending concerts. the first real concert I attended was an Ed sheeran show at the house of blues when he was touring his first album and was mostly only known by one direction fans in the US. and I was like … oh this is the coolest thing in the world and I wanna do it all the time. I had tickets to a concert for the Maine in June of that year, 3 days after the time I would see one direction live. So my 13 year old brain was like YES since I am now grown (lol) and a concert goer I will wait until mcr announces a tour for their new music and go and it’ll be great.

and then they broke up. lol.

and i was like. SAD. well there are other bands. and just kind of moved on. there were boy bands to blog about. it wasn’t a huge loss to me. they hadn’t Gotten me yet.

but during the time they were broken up, particularly as I got older, I could never quite listen to them. i would try to occasionally but it just made me sad because I knew I could really love this band and they weren’t around for me to love them and I didn’t feel like setting myself up to love a band I would never see.

but in spring of 2019 I was a sophomore in college, deeply, deeply depressed, and holed up in my room 22 stories up going crazy with insomnia. and my mom texted me and was like “hey me and dad have started watching this show, the umbrella academy. its based off a comic book that was written by Gerard way? Who was in a band? I think you would like it” so I started milking tua dry for hyperfixation serotonin and was watching cast interviews, etc, and then I watched one with Gerard in it. and I was like. oh. it’s you it’s the band guy. maybe I’ll listen to some of your music as a treat.

so I started listening to danger days a lot. i think I needed the color in my life. and i really enjoyed it, especially since I was older and had a better understanding of myself and music. but it still made me sad, you know? i really liked this band but they clearly weren’t ever going to exist again - I mean Gerard clearly had his own stuff going on, and this was before Twitter introduced Topics so I would get Frank’s tweets about his touring in my recommended Twitter feed. the band was dead. so I’d listen to danger days and absorb whatever hope I could from it and walk away better but still sad.

this continued throughout the summer and into the fall.

this is the funniest part of this story: mid October 2019 I was in a parking lot with my friends smoking weed and listening to music. somebody gave me the aux and I put on DD and we had a discussion about our younger and more emo days and i said “I hope you guys know if they ever got back together I would drag you to see them” and they were all like yeah that’s fair.

and then, on Halloween 2019, I was on a train on my way out to visit a friend in college so we could party (I had dropped out LOL) and I was sitting on the train waiting for it to leave the station. i had a whole playlist ready and was getting into the drunk and slutty mood. I opened Twitter one last time before I turned my signal off so I could conserve battery and somebody had tweeted that mcr had gotten back together and I was like. ok not funny. but then I saw another tweet about it. and another. so I cautiously opened the MCR Twitter page and saw it was real. i could not fucking believe it. so i through my playlist out of the window and listened to black parade front to back for the first time in my life, cried a little, had everything change for me.

and then there were days and days where I would listen to all of their albums and tried my best to eat their music alive. I started stalking the MCR tag on tumblr, started following a couple people from mcrblr on my old blog, and began letting myself Love them.

and then there was the shrine and an offering and a summoning and the insanity of accepting I would be able to see them live with my own little eyes. the day tickets dropped I literally left work on my half hour break, went home, fought Ticketmaster, and got tickets for me and my friends. I’d never been so excited.

and there was a plague and several years and in the interim they have become My Band. I’m never going to love another band like this and I don’t want to. im so happy to be here and I’m so happy it happened now, when I’m older and have a better handle on myself and have the ability to chase them around.

so yeah. this was long but so was my journey to them. if I’m weird about my chemical romance it’s just because I had to wait a decade for them and it feels very much like fate to me.

[kylekozmikdeluxo]

When a Weird Dream from 2004 Links Two Disparate Things...

Around July of 2004, I had this strange-ass dream that has kinda stuck with me...

I was going to turn 12 in a few months. It started with my parents somehow leaving me behind in a grocery store after it closed. For some reason, Meg Griffin from FAMILY GUY was there, as was... I think her name was "Fanny"? from CODENAME: KIDS NEXT DOOR. I forget what number... Erm, NUMBUH... she was, but she was the bossy redhead with that shrill voice. (Not googling, because it's fun to write this as I'm remembering it.) They were both there for some reason, as dreams often tend to do. Throw in something or someone totally unrelated to the situation... Like that time I had that dream where I was at a casino, Metallica was having a concert, and Dr. Fauci of all people was someone I bumped into there.

Then I was going through books in one section, and happened upon...

A THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE picture book. As in a book made a little after the show came out in the U.S., the illustrations were painted and hand-drawn, but were show-accurate with all the right details. Like, for anyone who happens to be reading this who hasn't seen anything from the series prior to 2010... For the longest time, THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE was made using remote-control model trains on immaculately-crafted real-life sets... And some picture books replicated that quite well. This book from the dream was kinda similar to the '90s picture books from Random House/Please Read to Me.

Now, THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE was a hyperfixation of mine when I was a kid. Like, one of my prime special interests from age 6 to around 8-ish, then I dropped it for a bit, likely thinking it was all "babyish" or whatever for a third/fourth grader to be watching. Then around 5th grade, at age 10, I slipped back into it for some reason. Might've been because the new season dropped at the time (2002), and new characters came about, and back then, I was still like "Yeah, I like Thomas." It was the first new season of the show since 1998, and the only new Thomas stuff we got between both of those seasons was the especially weird theatrical movie THOMAS AND THE MAGIC RAILROAD. And that revisiting of THOMAS was a rather short one, and then by age 10 1/2 I was past it once more... But it continued to linger in subtle ways, because deep down I knew that show actually kinda freakin' ruled.

So now it's mid-2004, it's been about a year and a half since I actually watched a Thomas episode or looked at anything pertaining to that whole franchise spawned by Reverend Wilbert Awdry's legendary book series. I'm trapped in a supermarket that has closed, yet many lights are still on, but it's like mood-lighting almost. Soothing and kinda reassuring. And two cartoon characters from two shows I was watching *a lot* back in the day were there. FAMILY GUY was being re-run on [adult swim] and TBS at the time, after FOX had cancelled the show. These re-runs from 2003-04 were what brought the show a whole new fanbase, which in turn helped get FOX to renew the show for a fourth season that debuted in May 2005, and then it was unstoppable since then. I can kinda proudly say that I was at the forefront of FAMILY GUY's revival, I watched it almost every night, because it was edgy and cool for 10-12 year old me to put on after everyone was asleep. And as for CODENAME: KIDS NEXT DOOR? I watched it constantly, among many other shows being aired on Cartoon Network at the time. Cartoon Network practically raised me, so- I can only imagine why Meg and Fanny, of all characters, were there in the dream.

I come upon this illustrated picture book based on the THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE television series, and it gets my eye because... It features Thomas on the cover with a character that *never* appeared in the TV series proper. The character was known as "Diesel D199", a nameless bully diesel who showed up in the 1968 book ENTERPRISING ENGINES, and only appears in one of its four stories.

That story, 'Super Rescue', was never adapted into an episode of THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE... But I knew the character because toys of him existed, and he was unusual in that he had a yellow face while all the other characters on the show had grayish-white faces. This is likely because a lot of the diesel characters in the original book series didn't have gray-white faces, like the steam engines largely did. Characters like Daisy, BoCo, and the green bully diesel from 'Bowled Out' had gray-white faces in the show, but not in the books. Since Diesel D199 didn't show up in the series, the companies making the merchandise just used his yellow book illustration face. As a kid, who was only familiar with the show and not the books, that had always puzzled me.

The book cover depicted him and Thomas going up Gordon's Hill, smiling at each other. I was unaware that he was an antagonist in the books, as the merchandise usually depicted him with a friendly smiling face. The title of the book was "Diesel Do It Again", maybe this was so because my brain was recalling the Season 3 episode "Diesel DOES It Again" - featuring the character simply named "Diesel", an episode largely set on the seaside.

Which brings me to the next thing I want to talk about...

The Beach Boys.

One of my all-time favorite musical groups. I had known of this group since I was a small kid, because my mother owned the 1995 greatest hits compilation 20 GOOD VIBRATIONS, so I know a few of their iconic hits. Then, while spending days and nights at a beach house that my dad would rent at the time, I had my brain chemistry altered... When my dad bought a 30-song compilation called SOUNDS OF SUMMER: THE VERY BEST OF THE BEACH BOYS... That compilation opened with 'California Girls', and my mind was *blown*...

The collection contained several hits from their fruitful early period, all the hit songs off of PET SOUNDS, and a scattered mess of tracks from 1967-1969 and 1976-1988, and none of it in chronological order. It was a lot of weird whiplash between eras, styles, and moods, for sure. And often, on car trips, we'd only make it to about the 15th track or so. Usually it would end at 'Wouldn't It Be Nice', maybe the opening bars of 'Getcha Back'. (Which is a very weird song to transition into, coming off of PET SOUNDS' haunting opening track, but I digress.)

This music made me FEEL. And it's no surprise, Brian Wilson is a goddamn genius, but yes, even at age 11 1/2... I was like, really moved by how many of these songs were crafted and arranged. It was musical education right there. Years later, I deep-dived into their history and yeah, it too is a special interest of mine.

What the hell does this have to do with THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE?

Nothing, really... Except, for in my head.

I was staying at that beach house in mid-2004, and I was addicted to that CD at the time, and I had also dug out my mom's Beach Boys CD as well. So, my rotation in mid-2004 was largely that Beach Boys CD, Cartoon Network, some of my XBOX games (such as TEST DRIVE: OVERDRIVE and DISNEY'S EXTREME SKATE ADVENTURE), and... COMIC STRIPS.

I was really, really, *really* into comic strips back then, namely a strip called GET FUZZY by Darby Conley.

A hapless man with not much of a love life, his naive dog, and his rather mean cat... Sound familiar? Surprisingly, there was a lot to it that differentiated it from GARFIELD. I was literally *in love* with this comic back then, and I still love it, actually. It dawned on me many years, but it's autistic AF... and I'll likely elaborate on that some other time, maybe on here!

Anyways, comics... I opened the Thomas book in the dream, and it was half usual Thomas illustrations you'd often see in the picture books, *and* it was... Black and white comic strips with the characters and all these random human side-characters who looked like they could've come right out of something like SALLY FORTH or BEETLE BAILEY... Sort-of existing and being up to random things that didn't have much to do with the trains, but it was part of it all. Very odd in a way. And I was like "Wait-a-minute, Thomas was also a comic?"

Not much happened in the dream beyond that, and it went kind of quick, I recall Meg remarking "Oh yeah, I read/watched that when I was a kid!" (Meg is 16 in the first season of FAMILY GUY, meaning she was likely born in 1983-ish, so maybe she theoretically would've caught the show - as part of SHINING TIME STATION - when it first came out in the U.S. in 1989. But I'm getting way too ahead of myself here.) Other random stuff, the kind that usually happening in dreams, etc. It would go very off-topic, so I'll cap it there.

So, my mind was like... Hmmmm... This old show about talking trains and talking cars, and The Beach Boys did a lot of car songs...

But... Why was my autistic brain making this specific connection that likely was not there?

My guesses...

A) THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE had a lot of seaside episodes, either set at a harbor, or on a beach. Bright skies, water, seagull sound effects, etc. The whole book series and show is set on the **Island** of Sodor.

B) I had went to car shows a lot as a kid, and heard a lot of those Beach Boys, and many similar-sounding surf/hot rod songs.

C) I went to beaches *a lot* as a kid with my father. He also had a raft, and we'd fish or crab a lot, too.

D) A lot of the iconic RAILWAY SERIES stories, which the THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE TV series is based on, were written in the 1950s and 1960s. I didn't know this at the time, I only knew that the show came out sometime around the mid-1980s. The copyright dates on the American VHS releases of the show were kinda wonky and sometimes inaccurate. When I discovered the books for the first time, I was particularly struck by the illustrations done by John T. Kenney (1957-1962) and Peter & Gunvor Edwards (1963-1972)...

Like, I'm immediately reminded of all the retro 50s/60s stuff I saw quite often as a kid, *again*, at car shows and relatives' houses and such. Old toys, etc. I might've been born in the early '90s, but your relatives and people you know hang onto stuff from decades prior. I grew up around a lot of "old" stuff, old architecture and decor and such. My dad's former house, for example, had those '70s wood paneled walls and mustard yellow countertops. A green toilet, of all things. Lots of vintage crockery and such.

Perhaps that aural world that Brian, his brothers, and company created with their music in the 1960s and 1970s makes me think of Sodor in a way, a sort of quaint island community from decades back, albeit far across the Atlantic. It's worth noting that when The Beach Boys' popularity sunk in the U.S. in the late 1960s and they had an image problem, they remained ever-popular in the UK and most of Europe.

But yeah, one weird dream in 2004 linked the two things... And I guess I'm not alone, because someone made a mashup of Toby's theme from the TV series and 'California Girls'... and they go together very, very well...

Dreams are the brain's YTPs... and sometimes they make a real impression on you...

[legoyuri]

🌻

(also if youre checking out those pixelart sites you'll prob want a translater, theres a bunch of great extensions on firefox!)

okay okay so like. i have a hyperfixation on MBAV rn and like since its a Pretty Old Show (from 2010-2012) theirs a shit ton of amv's of it on youtube! I've compiled like a whole list of every Watchable (imo) mbav video here. It has 99 videos ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

AND IVE LIKE BASICALLY FINISHED MINE! I don't want to share it yet because i wanna tune the cuts just a Little More but im so so sos excited!!! i think im gonna try adding like, Visual effects this time 2 to give it more of a 2000s flair

(and i already have a translator for firefox :3)

[lilithswxfe]

I know your a fan of Taylor Swift but are there any other artists you enjoy?

Yes! A lot actually.

- Katy Perry, who I've loved since 2010 and grew up listening to her and I've went to 2 of her concerts before. Both the best days of my life. I owe this woman my whole childhood.

- Ariana Grande, who I also grew up watching on Victorious and Sam & Cat. Not really as obsessed as her now but I grew up listening to her too!

- Billie Eilish, who helped me cope when I was younger with her songs about depression. Her music made me feel wanted in the worst years of my life, seriously. I owe a lot to her because of that.

- Melanie Martinez was a big hyperfixation of mine when I was younger, until late 2017 happened. I still listen to her every once in a while.

- Hayley Kiyoko, because her music made me feel accepted as a lesbian and inspires me to be a better person for myself. I actually met her via a zoom call from a contest I entered. I got to talk to her for like 12 seconds and I remember calling her a queen and she laughed at that XD it was so surreal I still can't believe that actually happened.