#a vent post but it takes a positive direction

[houkagokappa]

It’s Monday and I’m exhausted. I didn’t get to rest on the weekend, because I had uni work and chores to keep me busy for most of it. I also celebrated my sister’s birthday with my family, which I have mixed feeling on, since my sister was late for it by two hours. I could’ve used those two hours to wind down and just exist as myself, but instead I spent them annoyed at her being late, worried something might’ve happened, anxious not knowing what was going on and irritated because I hadn’t eaten anything since the morning and had gotten incredibly hungry. My sister’s habitually late, but she usually lets us know how late she’ll be and this time around we got radio silence. When she finally picked up (an hour later) it turned out that she overslept because she spent the entire night (until 8 am) helping a friend who was dealing with “a crisis”, and once she went to sleep she forgot to set an alarm. I can’t even be mad at her for being late because she did the right thing helping a friend in need (8 am might seem excessive, but sometimes that’s life and I’m not about to question the validity of someone's crisis).

I had a good time once she got to my parents place, but it is really frustrating how she continues to show no respect for us and our time, especially this week and last week when I’ve had to push myself to make the schedules work. One of the things that annoy me the most is how she’s never cared to put the effort in for us, “that’s just how she is and we should plan around it”, even though she’s entered an industry where the working hours are strict and she doesn’t seem to have any problems following those or going above and beyond to help her friends. I guess this stems from/adds to the bigger issue where I feel like I’m not important enough to be worth that extra effort (although I’m super close to my sister so it’s not like she doesn’t appreciate me).

It also really sucks how I’ve gotten a lot of great news lately, and I’m currently doing an internship that I’ve dreamed about for ages, but I’m still stressed and exhausted. My life is supposed to be “good” right now, so why don’t I feel that way? The answer is because I overwork myself, which is frustrating, since I’m too much of a perfectionist to spend less time on tasks (double, triple, quadruple checking everything before I turn in any assignments) and I have been working less weekly hours than what’s intended for the internship, so it feels like I should be able to deal with this much, if not more.

I mentioned being exhausted to my dad and his response was “welcome to the working life”, which was irritating since 1) this is not my first job/it’s not even a job, so it’s not like this is my first experience with working life, and 2) he doesn’t have a bunch of extra uni work and a single person household to run at the same time. I pointed that out to him, but he claimed to still think about work during his weekends (which is probably true to some degree, but it’s still not the same). My parents are lovely people and they do help me out a lot with different things, but they’ve never understood my mental health struggles (which, to be fair, I hide for the most part). They probably don’t think I have any anymore, since I’m doing all these things now, so it feels like I get very little sympathy for my troubles. I’m also worried that my life’s always going to be this way, with me not having as much energy as I used to have/ want to have/ feel like I’m expected to have. Like I’ve come a long way, but life’s still kinda shit :/

...

I have to remember to be kinder towards myself. I’ll schedule in time for my uni assignments and I’ll take it away from the hours I’d spend on my internship (since they allow me to come and go as I please), so that I’ll have the evenings off. I’ll attend events only if I feel like I’m up for it, I’m not going to force myself to attend just because something’s organized and it sounds fun. I’ve been doing better, but I still need to remind myself to take it easy.

[lacunazai]

there's a few genres of people I hate on sites like these and I'm not aiming this at anyone in particular but I think it needs to be said considering im growing a little.

If you post a lot of vents, without it being under any cut or without any tags to mute, DO NOT FOLLOW / MUTUAL ME. sure, let the occasional vent be free. it's YOUR blog. but if you're gonna interact and mutual people for that negativity to ONLY clog their dash, without any precautions or warnings then it gets a little out of hand, and it can be mildly annoying to see.

im not invalidating anyone's emotions by saying this, i think it just needs to be said.

[kaijuposting]

"Saw traps for people with moral OCD" is a phrase that has embedded myself into my brain because, well, Saw traps for people with moral OCD are everywhere.

Stuff that basically amounts to...

"You have to listen to my opinions on [issue], or else you don't care about [issue]. (Constantly talks about how people like you are the absolute worst.)"

Anything that's functionally like, "you have to let me tear you down over things you can't control or you're a bad person."

Anything that's functionally like, "you have to let me vent to you whenever and however I want or else you're a bad person."

"If you enjoy X media/trope, you just hate Y people."

"Everyone knows that X thing is harmful/hateful; if you engaged in it, it's just because you were fine with perpetuating hate/harm."

"You should have just known better/should know this already!"

This thread over here talks about the inherent issues of putting this kind of stuff out there. The TL;DR is that it really only works on people who are mentally unwell and have poor boundaries, while just pissing off everyone else. It really doesn't matter if you're technically correct; you're still attacking people, and that means they're not wrong to block you.

I think that many of these Saw traps are created when people effectively write posts directed toward people who don't want to help, rather than the ones who do. Like, if you catch yourself writing an angry, shame-laden post, ask yourself: who are you writing it for and what are the odds you're going to change their minds? If your mental image is some smug fuck or angry reactionary, you're writing for the wrong person. Write for the person who's curious, who's willing to learn.

Also? Work on figuring out how to transmute negative feelings into positive, encouraging rhetoric. EG:

"Why is there no X positivity?" -> "Let's hear it for X!"

"No one cares about Y problem!" -> "Hey, we need more recognition of Y problem" or "I haven't seen many people talking about Y problem, so here's some info on what's up."

"If you don't reblog this, you don't care about [group]" -> "Please reblog this, it would mean a lot for us [group]."

And if you're really super duper frustrated and want to vent with a lot of nasty words and sentiments? Consider taking it to a private vent channel or a journal or somewhere that a stranger with moral OCD/scrupulosity isn't likely to run across it.

Remember, most people don't want to hurt anyone. More people are ignorant than malicious. People naturally want to do the right thing, so if you feel like you have to guilt them or shame them into it, there's probably a fundamental communication issue somewhere, or they simply lack the context to understand why what you're saying is so important.

[yuveenti-blog]

Astrology Observations 08/01/2024

Sun and Ascendant (Rising Sign) Personalities

☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️

The Sun and Ascendant combination is important because it crafts together who you are precisely so let’s look at the combinations.

Disclaimer: If you do not see your sign combination you can ask ( reply) for yours and I will respond ☺️

🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️

Aries Sun + Taurus Rising

The Aries energy would dominate in this combination. This combination makes the individual ambitious to make their mark in this world. This persons words can cut deep, they are aggressive with a no-nonsense approach to life and their standards are extremely high. Once they have a desire, they go after it with strength and stamina. They are very protective of those they love. They do not do well if they’re not in the lead and they are like a solid boulder when they do not want to do something.

Taurus Sun+ Gemini Rising

The Gemini energy will dominate. This individual will have many hobbies and interests. They can be the person who desires or has more than one stream of income. They can be incredibly creative and multi-talented. These individuals are gifted with writing and they can communicate their ideas a lot easier because the Gemini energy is filtered through the Taurus and vice versa. They may find themselves changing career paths, friend groups, residence, and aesthetics a lot through their life. These people are very sexual and erotic.

Gemini Sun + Cancer Rising

The Cancer energy will dominate. This individual will find themselves constantly moving their goal posts, changing their mind, being inconsistent. They will have a lot of friends and people who enjoy their company. These people are like psychologists and can read people very well. They are also prone to venting and talking about how they feel a lot. They can overreact a lot. They absorb so much information that they can get headaches or anxiety especially when around others. These people have very creative minds and can truly help bring such fascinating ideas to this world, they will struggle with stamina and follow-through which isn’t their strong suit.

Cancer Sun+ Leo Rising

The Leo energy will dominate. These individuals are very image conscious, any slight remark to them wounds them easily. They need to feel “liked” and their desire for other people around them is strong. They may take people not liking them hard because they are so likeable they are charming, kind, people with big hearts and positive energy. They can find it hard to change their perspective or how they do things. Their need for stability is strong and they may have a cool and unfazed demeanor. They enjoy positive people who are caring. They need to feel loved or they suffer immensely.

Leo Sun+ Virgo Rising

The Virgo energy dominates. This individual strives to be the best at everything they do. They will not want attention for anything, unless they feel they are doing their best or succeeding. Very hard on themselves. They may find it hard to admit when they are wrong and struggle to express their emotions. They may feel all their flaws are on display. These people are detail-oriented and very picky. These people are hard to please and do not do well in submissive positions. They yearn for success and are obsessed with their image and health. Always trying to improve but extremely generous.

Virgo Sun+ Libra Rising

Libra energy dominates. These people are aesthetic people, neat freaks, the one that always has to look good. The person who can be perfect on the outside and chaotic internally. Stuck in their head and feeling pulled in different directions, they can find it hard to feel grounded. These individuals do not handle issues or problems well either ignoring them or people-pleasing and not being authentic on their feelings. They may feel uncomfortable expressing issues with others or being truthful. These are the teachers pet, parents favorite kid, and well-liked at work. A lot of superficial relationships with not many people not knowing the real you. These people have a very high standards.

Libra Sun + Scorpio Rising

Scorpio energy dominates. These people are very alluring, something about their aura pulls you in. They come off as cool, sexy, charming, beautiful. These people can be very popular and attract a lot of attention from romantic suitors. They can see into people like no other. Don’t try hiding anything from them. They will go out of their way to get what they want and to enjoy their life. Very kinky and sexual, they are open to experimenting in the bedroom. They know how to create diverse friendships, they can be lighthearted and deep. They can be incredibly sensitive, desiring creative outlets to channel such strong energy internally. These are the kind of people who may hide away when they’re depressed, stressed, or having a hard time in life.

Scorpio Sun + Sagittarius Rising

The Sagittarius energy dominates. These are very resilient people, very strong-willed, and mentally enduring. They have strong personalities as their aura and personality is strong. A lot of people come to this combination for their opinion, wisdom, or to just talk. This individual has a lot of confidence and doesn’t like to give-up. Even through hardships they always come out on top. These are the people who will know you so well and they are also very understanding of their own self. They can be very direct in their talking so sometimes people may think they are mean or rude. But they love a good laugh. This person is a life-long learner that needs to stray at times to spend time exploring their inner world and feeling free.

Sagittarius Sun + Capricorn Rising

The Capricorn energy dominates. These individuals try their best to create the life they desire. Natural manifestors they bring their ideas to life. If you say they can’t do it, they will show they can. They are passionate towards life and desire to create a utopian world. Their diligence to taking action and working towards their goals is admirable. They may trip up on their way, fueled by excitement and impulsivity, but they truly know how to get their shit together. They will want to live lavish and enjoy spending money as much as making it. Open-minded but prefer for only a few to know them more deeply. Very sexual but who would know, you like to show that to only those who deserve that side of you. To these individuals their life serves a higher purpose.

Capricorn Sun + Aquarius Rising

The Aquarius energy dominates. These individuals can seem unbothered, serious, or boring. They may have a unique look to them whether through their fashion, hair, or physical features. They won’t be big talkers upon first impression. They will not come across fiery or emotional, very calm people. They have large ideals and no times for games so they cut a lot of fun and pleasure out of their life to reach their goals. These people feel the weight of the world on them and they take responsibilities serious. They need space in their relationships and may go through different relationships throughout their life before finding someone who matches their energy or they just don’t care about dating. Very intelligent people but a lot of people may considered them boring or weird.

Aquarius Sun + Pisces Rising

The Pisces energy dominates. These individuals are the true definition of in your own world. They may be hard to even connect to at times as they march to the beat of their own drum and are quirky. These people enjoy living life through rose-colored glasses and doesn’t enjoy the negative and darker sides of life. Very big imaginations, their mind is a movie and portal to other dimensions. They may be silent a lot of the time, daydreaming, drifting off, or actually sleep. These people do not like hard work, mean people, or routines. A strong intuition and can be isolationist at times.

Pisces Sun+ Aries Rising

The Aries energy dominates. These people are dreamers that will fight for their dreams and ideals. If you tell them they are unrealistic they will simply say “ speak for yourself”. These people can appear youthful with so much wisdom. They can be so self-sacrificing to those around them and feel pain so intensely. These individuals build energy before taking action, they still need time to sit back and fall into different portals of their mind. They can be quite impulsive doing things based on their intuition and impulse. They can be popular because they are compassionate, bold, and full of drive. They would love spiritual sex, sex that ascends the human bodies.

Cancer Sun + Aries Rising

The Aries energy dominate. These people are quick to react without thinking. They always feel intuitively and struggle with rationality. These are self-focused people. They look out for their best interest. Loners. These people can have emotional outbursts but they tend to suppress their emotions to not be perceived as weak. These people go through a lot of mood changes and are quite ambitious. The world is their playground and thus they like to play. They usually prefer to dominate, but they can also be submissive when it works to their advantage. They may enjoy intimate closeness but not for long as they will be off doing something solo sooner than later.

Aries Sun + Capricorn Rising

The Capricorn energy will dominate. Success is all that matters to these people. Everything they do must be successful, they have no room to play games. They do not talk in circles, they give it to others straight. They will be meticulous in who is in their circle because you have to be on their path to success or you’re getting cut. Extremely loyal, once you’re locked in with this combination they are in it. This is a sign that will confront you, they don’t bullshit or lie, if they don’t want to discuss they will not. No one has power over them as they are their ultimate authority. These people do not like weak and passive people or people with no goals. They are very sexual and have lots of stamina in the bedroom. They may face a lot of challenges but they are strong and can whether any storm.

Taurus Sun + Leo Rising

The Leo energy will dominate. Telling these individuals what to do will get you cursed out. They need everything in their life to be high quality. Their way or the highway kind of people. They won’t typically get angry but when they do you better watch out. They are opinionated and they will tell you how things should be quickly. These people are very charming, beautiful, popular. They might become manipulative easily. These are creative and artistic people who can dress amazing and have amazing looking houses. This combination guarantees success and admiration. People can be easily jealous of these people. They can age gracefully. These are very generous and romantic lovers but they don’t bullshit, you can’t bring bare minimum to them or expect to get cursed out.

Aquarius Sun + Taurus Rising

The Taurus energy dominates. These are the ultimate chill people. They might be quirky but that can be in their habits, interests, and relationships. They probably have a very beautiful look to them and dress neat. These people can slowly build wealth for themselves in their lives. They can do well building their way up in a company. They offer great insight and can be ahead of their time with their thinking. Solution oriented they won’t mellow on problems for long. Sometimes these people get super physical and pleasing their senses and other times they’re stuck in their head. It can be hard to connect to them but they’re an asset wherever they go.

Gemini Sun + Virgo Rising

The Gemini energy dominates. The person who talks a lot but you always find you learn something new. They may carefully craft their ground of friends. They can be picky about a lot but they never stay in the same situation for long. They’ll be quick to complain but they are entertaining. They have the best jokes. They can be loud and move around a lot. Nothing escapes these people’s eyes. They can communicate very well. These people have high expectations and will read you like a book.

🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿

[ickadori]

++ 𝐘𝐔𝐉𝐈 𝐈𝐓𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐑𝐈 — 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆

[summary] Yuji knows that he could never have a normal, healthy relationship with you, not with Sukuna inhabiting his body and his line of work, and he accepts that. He’s content observing you from the sidelines, watching as you go about living your life, none the wiser of the spectator watching from the shadows. VALENTINES EVENT MASTERLIST.

[cws] yandere -> yuji. fem reader. stalking. voyeurism -> peeping tom. masturbation. reader is mentioned to be a virgin but doesn’t lose it. blood/tending to a wound -> yuji was hurt by a curse.

[an] this was originally for the valentines event i mentioned, but that won’t be out on time so im just gonna post as i finish these up!

Yuji is content with watching you from afar.

He’s not delusional enough to think that the two of you could ever work out—perhaps in another world. One without curses, one where he’s not putting his life on the line every day to protect people that are none the wiser of the monsters that lurk, one where there’s not one of those same monsters living inside him.

Sukuna is a liability, and Yuji loves you too much to put you in a position where you could possibly be harmed. He has good enough control over the curse, but there’s still a chance, a tiny, minuscule chance that things could go wrong, and he just wasn’t willing to take that chance.

So, he kept his distance.

Or tried to.

At first he tried to forget you even existed. To avoid seeing you in the morning on the commute to work, he took a later train, resigning himself to having to run a few blocks to keep from being late. That had worked, for a bit, but then you had found another job, one that required you to come in a bit later, and the both of you had wound up on the same train once again.

He turned to ignoring you - he didn’t so much as turn to look in your direction when you stepped through the train’s doors, acting as if you were some inconsequential thing, and that worked, too, for a bit. But it seemed as if everyone was suddenly going to work a bit later than usual, bodies filling all the seats until eventually the only available one was the one adjacent to him.

He could have still chosen to ignore you, but then you had spoken to him, a simple ‘Crowded today, huh?’ that was more rhetorical than anything, but the only thing Yuji was capable of controlling was Sukuna, not his desires, and he had answered you with a love-stricken smile.

‘It is, isn’t it?’

And it went from there.

He went from pretending you didn’t exist to anxiously waiting for the moment he’d get to see you in the morning. He’d greet you with a smile and a grandiose gesture to the empty seat beside him, and you’d sit down with a sweet ‘thank you’ and an even sweeter smile.

Your conversations went from common pleasantries to something deeper, something more…intimate. Because what other word could he use to describe the way you vented your grievances about work, friends, and family to him? You were allowing him to see a glimpse into your life - a private, special thing that he hoped many weren’t privy to - but he soon learned that a glimpse couldn’t sate him.

Yuji found that the forty-five-minute commute wasn’t enough—how could it be? Twenty-four hours in a day, and he was supposed to make do with not even one? That was wholly unfair! He had already given up so much - the possibility of a romantic relationship with you for your safety-, he deserved a few more moments with you, didn’t he?

But Yuji knew that any more time spent with you would lead to him abandoning the boundary he had set for himself…but as Gojo had taught him, there’s always a loophole to be found.

~

You like to collect trinkets.

Anything that catches your eye and you’re toting it up to the register - it’s a problem. Cute, but a problem. Your mother agrees.

“Yes, mom, I know I just bought a set of pens last week.” You groan, phone tucked between your ear and shoulder as you attempt to organize the multitude of things on your desk. Pens, pencils, stress balls, notebooks, stuffed animals, vinyl figurines. “But these were themed after one of the shows I watch…yeah, that’s the one! You remembered!” You laugh through a smile. “It’s not an obsession. It’s a hobby!”

Yuji shifts in his spot where he’s seated across from your place and looking into your baywindow, one earphone in his ear, the other carefully placed in the drawer of the desk you’re currently standing at. Your voice is filtering in through the earphone, and he thanks the advancement of technology that’s allowed him to effortlessly be able to listen in on your conversation instead of having to rely on reading your lips...although he wouldn’t have minded that too much.

Your lips look inviting; soft, plump and coated in a shiny gloss. You have a habit of sinking your teeth into your bottom lip when you laugh, something he finds insanely attractive, and you do it now, laughing at something your mother has said. Your eyes crinkle at the corners, nose scrunching up just a tad, and Yuji finds himself struggling to suck in air as he watches you.

“I’m laughing because you’re absolutely ridiculous. I’m not letting you set me up on a blind date, mom.” His teeth gnash together, a frown quickly overtaking his features. Date? “I’m more than capable of finding a boyfriend on my own, thank you very much.” His pulse, which had quickened to a mildly alarming level, slowly goes back to normal as you shoot down the suggestion. Good girl. You didn’t need a boyfriend - not if it couldn’t be him.

Your mother meant well, he’s sure. She likely just wanted her daughter to have someone to keep her company, to give her a shoulder to cry or lean on whenever she needed it, to have someone in the city to look out for her. While Yuji couldn’t be your shoulder to lean on, nor keep you company past a short train ride, he was looking out for you. The world was dangerous, people were murdered left and right. Curses killed indiscriminately; men, women, children, the elderly, it didn’t matter to them. They killed as easily as they breathed, and if you didn’t have him watching over you, it was possible that you’d meet that same fate.

“God, mom, that is none of your business!” You grip your phone in one hand, your eyebrows pulling together as your mouth turns down. “So what if I am? It’s a social construct anyways! It’s not that big a deal—no, I’m not waiting for marriage...I’m not into women, either!”

Yuji lets out a shaky breath. You’re a virgin. He’s never been one to harp on a person’s sexual history, or lack thereof, it didn’t make any difference to him, all he cared about was getting a resounding yes before he got down to business, but the thought of you being untouched sent a swirl of something hot, electric, and exhilarating down to his gut.

His body warmed further in the already humid air, cock fattening up against his thigh, and he clears his throat as he tries to keep his thoughts clean.

“I’m hanging up the phone now, mom. Love you lots, bye—oh! And no dates. If I find some man at my door with roses and chocolates like the last time then I’m going to phone the police and get him put on a list, okay? Okay!” You quickly end the call, your phone flying through the air before it lands on your couch, and cover your face with your hands as you let out a muted scream.

Yuji chuckles.

~

He shouldn’t be here, he knows that, but he had just gotten through with a mission not even two blocks from your place and figured he could just check in on you. He hadn’t seen you this morning, his work taking him to the other side of Tokyo, and it wouldn’t be exaggerating to say he was going through a bit of a withdrawal.

I’ll just look in to make sure she’s alright, he tells himself. Just a quick peek to confirm that you were in your home for the night and okay. He’d be two minutes tops...

That’s what he had said, so how had he ended up like this? Cock in hand and panting as he watched your fingers furiously flick back and forth over your clit. You were sprawled on your couch and facing the window, panties hooked around one ankle and legs spread. Your nightgown, something too thin to offer you any real warmth, was pushed up under your chin, the hand that wasn’t desperately rubbing at your cunt pinching at hard nipples.

This is the sight he had been met with when he turned onto your street, and he only had a second to be angry at the fact that anyone could have walked by and saw you like this, before the need to touch himself outweighed the want to reprimand you. It was late, well into the hours of the night where the streets were usually deserted, so he figured he couldn’t place too much blame on you, especially when this all worked to his benefit.

The notion that this was wrong, so incredibly wrong, floated around in his head for a bit, but it was squeezed and siphoned out with the dollops of pre-cum that landed on the steps leading up to your place.

Blood fills his tastebuds as his teeth sink into his lip in an effort to keep quiet. His nostrils flare as he breathes hard through his nose, hand practically a blur as it flies up and down the length of his cock, eyes trained on the way you rub at your clit in a circular motion. Around and around, up and down, the both of you quickly work yourselves up, and Yuji grunts, hips jerking up into his hand, long lashes fluttering when he sees your hips raise up and your thighs snap shut around your hand.

He finishes soon after, balls tightening and veins in his neck and on the back of his hand protruding as ropes of cum dirty his fingers. He squeezes as he nears his tip, making sure to milk out every last drop, and he huffs and pants as he lets his lip go free. He harshly swallows, knees giving out as he plops himself down onto your stoop, jittery hands working to stuff his now soft cock back into his pants and boxers.

He looks down at his hand and groans at the sight, his head tipping back, only for a loud thump to sound as it knocks against the wood of your door. Yuji curses, quickly scrambling up to his feet as he draws his hood over his head and hurries down the street.

~

A groan slips out of Yuji’s mouth as his weary body crashes down into the seat of the train. The car is empty, expected due to how late it is -nearing midnight-, and he’s thankful for it as he lifts the hem of his sweater up with a grimace, revealing a slash right above his belly button, the dark blood matted in with the hair of his happy trail.

It’s not life threatening, but fuck does it hurt. A curse had turned out to be a higher grade than the report had said, and Yuji had gone in a bit too hot, resulting in a few too many scrapes and cuts, but no broken bones, thankfully.

The bag on his back is pulled off, and he undoes the zipper and rifles through it, hand closing around a bottle of rubbing alcohol and a few gauzes. He stuffs the hem of his sweater in his mouth and bites down, simultaneously twisting off the cap to the bottle, and he counts to three in his head before pouring the contents on the cut, a muffled curse sounding as his muscles tense and flex.

The train slows to a stop as it comes to a station, and Yuji is too focused on wrapping the gauze around his midsection to hear the sound of heels clicking against the train floor.

“Ngh, shit.” He pulls the gauze tight as he rips it with his teeth, quickly tying the two ends together in a small knot after. It’s a half-assed job, but it’ll do until he makes it home where he has more suppl—

“Yuji?”

His head snaps up at the familiar voice, and two sets of wide eyes clash as the both of you fall silent. Your gaze falls to the dressings on his stomach, which are already tinged red with his blood, and you gasp before you’re quickly rushing over.

“What happened?”

“Why are you out so late?”

You both talk over each other, but Yuji repeats his a bit louder, because his question is clearly more important at the moment. Don’t you know how dangerous it is to be out this late? What were you doing? Where were you? Why are you so dressed up?

“I’m coming from a friend’s housewarming party, it ran a bit late, too late if you ask me. I was ready to go hours ag—wait, that doesn’t matter! You’re bleeding, Yuji. What happened?” You sit in the seat beside him and turn your body, your knees brushing against his, and he suddenly finds it a bit harder to breathe. “Oh my God, you’re pale. You need to go to the hospital.” Your hand reaches out to touch his forehead, your fingers pushing away the strands plastered to his damp forehead to touch the cool skin directly.

“No... no hospital, I’m fine. It’s just a scratch.” He says, and compared to all the other injuries he’s gotten, this could be passed off as a scratch. You give him a disbelieving look.

“It could get infected.”

Your concern for him makes his chest swell with nothing short of love, and he reaches a hand out to gingerly rest it on your knee, the tips of his ears heating when he realizes this is the first time he’s touched you. “I’ll be fine, okay? It just looks bad, but it’s only superficial.”

You frown, teeth worrying at your bottom lip, and the action nearly puts Yuji in a trance. He wants to bite your lip. Not hard enough to seriously hurt you, but enough to pull one of those cute little gasps forth and paint a look of surprise on your face. He’d kiss it better afterwards, of course.

“…okay.” You relent, still looking as if you want to argue. “But at least tell me what happened? Were you attacked?” You take a cautious glance around, as if whatever did this to him is lurking nearby and not dead.

“Yeah,” he nods, and your eyes widen. “Some asshole tried to rob me. Guess he didn’t like that I left my wallet at home.” He gives a chuckle that he hopes puts you at ease.

“Oh my God, Yuji, we have to call the police! He could have killed you!” Guess not. You rifle through the purse in your lap to retrieve your phone, and before you can punch in the number and make this situation more complicated than he wants to deal with right now, he’s slipping your phone from your hand and dropping it back into your bag.

“I’m fine, really.”

“You’re bleeding.” You pointedly look to his stomach, and Yuji smooths his sweater back down, jaw clenching as he fights back a wince when he agitates the wound. “I saw that!”

The train comes to a slow stop, his stop, and he gives you a sheepish smile before standing to his feet. “Really, thanks for worrying, but it’s nothing serious. I’ll be fi—” His words get caught in his throat when you stand up beside him and curl your arms around one of his, a determined look plastered on your face as you keep him rooted in his spot.

“Since you’re refusing to go to a hospital, then you’ll come back to mine and let me patch you up properly - and if you get any worse, I will be calling an ambulance, got it?” He turns his head to the side in order to hide a dopey grin into his shoulder.

“...got it.”

~

“Luckily, it’s not deep.” You say from where you’re kneeled on the floor, Yuji laid down on the couch cushions in front of you. His shirt is discarded, neatly folded and placed on your coffee table, and your brows are furrowed in concentration as you gently dab at the wound on his stomach.

The bleeding has slowed considerably, and while it’s still incredibly sore, the stabbing pain from before has gradually subsided as well. It’s not deep enough to need stitches, which is the same conclusion you come to after yet another careful observation.

“Told ya I was fine.”

“I would hardly call this fine, Yuji.” Your eyes slide over to meet his, and the hairs on his arms raise as he basks in the sound of you saying his name. Oh. He wants you to keep saying it, in different connotations even - he wants to hear you cry it out while his face is buried between your thighs, wants to hear it choked on a gasp when he slides in for the first time, wants to hear it between sobs as he finds your sweet spot, wants to hear it screamed out when he’s made you cream all over his cock, he never wants to stop hearing it.

Won’t you say it for him again?

“I really do think you should go to the police, Yuji…if not for yourself, then for the next person at least. What if they hurt someone else?” You say as you smooth the last butterfly stitch into place. “You’re not… you’re not in trouble or anything, right?”

“Trouble?” He frowns, and when he takes in the cautious look on your face, he realizes what you mean. “No! I’m not! I haven’t...” He can see you retreating, hands curling in your lap as you lean back from him, and he quickly sits up, teeth gritting as he does. “Hey, I’ll go to the station in the morning, okay? I just.. my uncle is a cop, and I know he’s gonna go on some crazy manhunt once he finds out what happened.”

The lie comes out smooth, and Yuji would feel bad if you didn’t immediately relax after hearing his words. You’re so gullible, he thinks to himself. Would you have believed the same lie if someone else had said it? Or did you believe it because he, Yuji, had been the one saying it? Did you trust him that much?

“That’s a good thing. The person who did that should be arrested.” You frown again as you look at his stomach. “Are you sure you’re okay? I think it looks agitated—”

“Hey,” his hands move to cup your cheeks, an action that’s far too intimate for two people who haven’t talked outside of a train ride to work...but you had invited him here, hadn’t you? You had clung to him on the walk over, your arms wrapped around one of his as you questioned him over and over again on whether he was growing dizzy, nauseous, tired.

You had guided him to sit on your couch and helped him take his shirt off — you had touched him with those hands that could do no wrong, tended to him so tenderly, fueled the fantasies playing on repeat in his head.

“Yuji?” You call, breath fanning over his lips, and he harshly swallows, adam’s apple bobbing as he does. His eyes flit around your face, unable to focus on one particular thing; eyes, nose, lips, brows, the little hairs at your temples, the dark freckle-like spots underneath your eyes, the length and curl of your lashes, the shape of your hairline, he finds himself taking it all in, greedily.

He leans in just, giving you ample opportunity to move away or tell him no, but you only wet your lips, lashes fluttering and breath quickening, and he doesn’t waste another second before he’s leaning in.

Your lips meet and his chest tightens, hands slightly trembling as he basks in the feeling of you, which is all he can do, all thoughts effectively cleared from his head. Your lips move hesitantly against his, slow, unsure, but he has no problem taking the lead.

One hand moves to clutch at the back of your neck as he deepens the kiss, teeth gently nipping at your bottom lip and pulling forth a soft sound. He takes the opportunity to delve inside, tongue sliding alongside your own as he groans at the taste of you.

Heaven.

The two of you only part to suck in a shuddering breath and then you’re back on each other, your hands hovering over his chest, hesitating. Yuji kisses the corner of your mouth and gently grabs your wrist, guiding your hands to his chest. “Touch me.”

You jerkily nod, hands roaming his chest, prodding and squeezing and rubbing. Your thumbs skim over his nipples, and he hisses through clenched teeth as they immediately harden. Your eyes dart up to him, wide and twinkling, and you do it again. “Shit,” he grunts.

“Can I…?” You trail off with a whisper, and he mindlessly nods, cock throbbing in his pants as he spreads his legs wider to give you more room. Your head leans forward, and he intently watches as a pink tongue peeks out from between swollen lips to flatten over one of his nipples.

His dick jumps in his pants, and he sinks his teeth into his tongue to stave off the overwhelming urge to come in his pants. Your tongue flicks over the bud, and blood fills his tastebuds before he’s pulling you up to straddle his lap, tip leaking drool at the dejected look on your face.

“Sorry, sweetie,” he kisses at the corner of your mouth, hands moving to palm at your own chest to return the favor. “But I’m not ready to come yet.” He squeezes, jiggles, tests the weight of your breast in his palms, pinches at your nipples through the thin fabric, all the while his hips are rocking up into yours, throbbing cock knocking into your clothed sex. He can feel the heat of your cunt - sweltering, inviting, and he wants to dip his cock in and never pull it out, but not yet, not now.

Your back meets the cushion, your head bouncing off the seat from the suddenness of it all, and one of Yuji’s knees plants itself on the couch as his foot gains purchase on the floor. He makes quick work of your pants and underwear, mouth running dry at the sight of your wet pussy.

Fuck.

He wants to eat you out - bury his head between your thighs and lap up your slick until the sun rises, but he knows the tip of his cock is turning purple even without looking at it, and while he usually has no problem putting his own needs aside when it comes to you, he feels like being a bit selfish tonight.

Your eyes are wide as he pops the button on his pants, your blown pupils tracking the movements of his hand as it tugs his cock free before tucking the elastic of his boxers under round, full balls. You gasp, a low sound that makes his cock jump, and you marvel at the sight. So cute. He catches a bead of pre-cum with his finger and brings it to his mouth without thinking, pink tongue swiping out to lick it up before his hand is returning to his cock.

He shuffles closer, a shuddering breath leaving him as he slaps it against your folds. “Yuji,” you whisper out, and he hums, eyes focused on the way the shine of your slick transfers over to him as he slides himself back and forth against you.

Fuuuck.

Yuji doesn’t miss the way you tense as his cockhead parts your folds, drool pooling in his mouth as he watches the way your hole —untouched, un-stretched, un-fucked— clenches around nothing.

“I won’t ... I won’t put it in.” He assures. While you hadn’t divulged your lack of experience, Yuji was still well aware of it, and he doesn’t think he could live with himself knowing that your first time together was when he had a gaping wound on his stomach limiting his movements. You deserved his best, and he’d give it to you, in time, but this would do for now. “Just hold yourself open for me. Can you do that?”

You meekly nod, but your hands fumble as they move down between your thighs. Yuji licks his lips and smiles, his hands moving to cover yours as he places them where he wants them. “Good - just like that.” Your fingers keep your lips spread, your hole and clit exposed, and he licks his lips again, a groan bubbling up out of his throat as he slots his cock right up against you. You gasp, body jumping, and he slowly cants his hips forward, length sliding up. His tip nudges against your clit, and your eyebrows furrow as your thighs move to close, but his hands keep them pinned open. “You okay?”

“It’s—oh.” You gasp again when he pulls his hips back, cock heavy against your cunt as it easily glides thanks to the ample amount of slick and pre-cum mixing together. The fat tip catches on your hole, and he has to bite down hard on the inside of his cheek to keep from popping it in and fucking it in deep. “Yuji.”

Your eyes are locked onto his face, lips parted in an ‘o’ and eyebrows pulled together - he nearly comes at the sight and ends this all too early. “Look, sweetheart,” he rasps, his eyes moving down to where you’ve got his cock nice and wet, and he knows you’ve followed his gaze when he hears your sharp intake of breath and sees your clit twitch. “There you go. Watch what I do to you.”

He keeps your thighs spread wide as he rocks into you, hips rolling and tip drooling as he goes through the motions of how he will fuck you. He’ll go slow at first, like how he is now, give you time to get adjusted to the feeling of a cock filling you up and stretching you wide. He wants you to feel every inch of him, every vein and curve, wants you to feel him dragging along your walls and brushing against that secret little spot hidden away inside of you.

Then he’d go a bit faster, give you a taste of what it felt like to really be fucked, show you what you had to look forward to for the rest of your life, because there was no way he could go back to how it was before, not after you invited him into your home and kissed him and let him between these soft, sweet thighs.

Oh no, you were his now.

Completely.

[neuroticboyfriend]

some disabled & neurodivergent side of tumblr safety & etiquette:

dont: dump negativity on positivity posts. if you dont relate to a post, it's either not aimed at you, or you're not ready for its message (and thats ok!)

do: make your own posts expressing how you feel; your feelings still matter and your blog is just the place to express them.

dont: speak over people with different experiences than yours, or speak on things you don't know about.

do: have an open mind and educate yourself on things you don't know much about - uplift the voices of people with direct experience.

dont: send unprompted vent or advice asks to blogs that dont have that as a stated purpose.

do: check out a blog to see if they take vent/advice asks; if you dont see anything, ask if you can vent/seek advice first - or add a disclaimer at the start of your asks, with TW.

dont: engage with triggering content. dont post your triggers publicly either, my lord.

do: engage with content that helps you express, process, and cope with your health. take breaks when you need them, too.

dont: treat bloggers like celebrities or like they owe you a response.

do: treat bloggers like regular people; respect boundaries.

dont: demonize ANY condition. including paraphilic disorders, sexual/moral OCD, personality disorders, addiction, or factitious disorders

remember: we're all dealing with our own stuff, and we're all in this together. if anyone acts as if this isnt true, they're probably not in a good place themself.

(feel free to add on!)

[linatheweirdooo]

Don't hurt me

I wrote this fic on ao3 originally as a vent, but due to the positive reception I'm gonna post it here too :3 here's the link to it on ao3 if you wanna give it a kudos or reply or read any other stuff I wrote bc I don't plan on posting that much on here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/56567776/chapters/143770822#workskin

TW; implied S/A (it's hurt/comfort but the subject is mentioned and implied)

~~

It all happened so fast.

The sensation of water trickling down her synthetic skin, the studs of soap covering her body. It was a normal day, V just wanted to take a shower to clean herself off after an especially bloody hunt. Until she slipped.

Her entire frame collapsed onto the soapy ground, and her optics struggled to make out what was happening. Her processor overwhelmed with the sensory information from all fronts, it retorted to its only defense; to connect this situation to something familiar, something that has happened before.

In her disoriented state, instead of seeing the shower in her home, she saw a room in the old manor. And instead of feeling water slide down her hydrophobic shell, she felt hands. Hands that were distinctly human. Hands of the people whom she still can't remember the faces of, violating her. Touching her in places she shouldn't be touched, abusing parts of her body that are too sensitive for it.

This was stupid. She was a robot, she was a servant, why would she care if she was used? Wasn't that what she was made for? She shouldn't be whining.

Poisonous words from the person seemingly executing this echoed in her audio receptors. Even when it happened, V could bearly make out proper sentences.

V just yelled for them to get away, but her pleas proved vain when nothing changed.

Eventually, she succumbed to it, with only whimpers and muffled sobs with the occasional "stop" escaping her mouth.

~~

N was out today, which only left Uzi and V in their home, but the purple worker couldn't help but feel slightly worried by how long her girlfriend had been in the shower, she was usually quick.

But Uzi brushed it off. Maybe she's doing some self care for herself. V was responsible, they've known each other for a while now. Long enough to build a life with her and N.

That was until she heard V's voice, muffled by the walls of the bathroom and too far away from Uzi to make out any actual words. But why would V be yelling? There's nobody else in the house other than her, right?

Uzi panicked, but took a deep breath. She needed to stop assuming the worst all the time. So she calmly (albiet still quickly) walked up to the bathroom she was in and knocked on the door.

"V? You okay?"

No reply. At least, no reply that was directed at Uzi. It was hard to tell what she was saying, which worried her. Uzi does know V has a... complicated past... but even after getting together, she didn't talk about it more than she needed to. What if she was stuck in some kind of flashback?

No. No jumping to the worst case scenario. She'll just ask her again.

"V? Did something happen? Can I come in?"

No reply again. This was now a cause for concern, so Uzi opened the door, only to see her girlfriend on the floor of the shower sobbing and whimpering.

Immediately she ran up to V. But the disassembly drone sat up and made eye contact with Uzi.

Fear. The thought that V was even capable of the feeling had never even crossed Uzi's mind, but the hollow yellow rings that replaced her eyes were all that stared back her girlfriend.

V looked sad, tired, and scared, and while she has shown more emotion in front of her partners than she would to anyone else, this was different. It was raw, it was unfiltered, and it was heartbreaking. Her wet hair covered parts of her face and water was still pouring over her. She looked helpless.

"V?" Was all Uzi got to say before the disassembly drone tensed up and her endoskeleton started to shake. Pants and suppressed sobs were all that escaped the drone in front of Uzi, and when she tried getting closer, V cowered, pushing herself on the floor into the corner of the shower.

With her knees to her chin, one cone-shaped arm wrapped around her legs and the other in a protective position, hiding most of her face, V looked...vulnerable.

Noticing her girlfriend's reaction, Uzi moved backward. V must've thought she was someone else. Why else would she be this scared at the sight of her own girlfriend? Did Uzi do something?

V seemed to relax slightly, but she still looked like a helpless, terrified kitten in the rain. It hurt Uzi to see someone so important to her look like that. Only a year or two ago, Uzi would be scared of V, stating what she would think would be her final words if she crossed by any disassembly drone. Never in a million years did she ever entertain the idea of dating not one, but TWO of them. And now one of them is terrified of her.

As Uzi prepared to speak again, she heard V mumble something mixed with a sob. Uzi's audio receptors may not be as advanced as her girlfriend's, but she could make out a few words.

"Don't hurt me" were those words. The rest were lost to the sounds of whimpering and water from the shower hitting the floor, but Uzi's heart sank at the thought of what those words implied.

"V... it's me, Uzi"

It was a softer tone and volume, and it seemed to have worked as V relaxed a little bit and lowered her hand. However, she was still shaking and her eyes were still hollow.

Uzi leaned down to get on V's level, in an attempt to make her more comfortable. "it'll be okay" she comforted. Maybe it won't be, she had no way to tell, but it may help calm V down. She grabbed the towel V had hung on the hanger. "Can I get you out of here?"

V, still shaking and her eyes still hollowed, nodded. She didn't say anything, as if her voice were being held under a lock and key.

Uzi got into the shower and turned the water off as V stared at her, with digital tears hanging from the eyes displayed on her screen.

The worker drone reached out a tender hand to her girlfriend's cheek, which she immediately leaned into and closed her eyes.

Now that she was closer to V, the stress lines under them were more obvious, and as she brought back her hand, Uzi draped the towel over V like a blanket.

"Do you want me to dry you off or do you want to do it yourself?" Uzi asked in a loving tone.

V took a bit to respond, but she then replaced her eyes with text that read "I'll do it, but stay here" before adding on a "please".

Uzi nodded in response, and V blinked away the text as Uzi used one hand to interlace her fingers with V's and the other supporting her other arm, lifting it up and allowing V's limp body to stand at its full 5'11" height.

V took the towel that was hastly draped over her and wrapped it around herself after she had dried off the plastic and silicone that shielded her insides from the elements.

Uzi looked back at V once she was done but before Uzi got the chance to marvel at how beautiful her girlfriend looked, V collapsed onto Uzi before clearing her throat and spoke.

"Can you..." She paused, as if she was incapable of asking Uzi to do anything for her.

"Can you brush my hair?"

Her voice was scratchy from the crying, and her voice was still shaking despite thinking all the tears were gone. Maybe it was from embarrassment. The strong and terrifying Serial designation V asking for help? She might as well be dead at that point.

"of course..." Uzi smiled before going onto her tip toes and closing the gap between the two drones in a short, soft, loving kiss.

~~~~~

Uzi walked out to let V change, and after a few minutes she saw her girlfriend in a baggy purple sweater collapse into a hug, burying her head into Uzi's shoulder.

"..'m sorry for scaring you" was all V said, partially muffled by Uzi's shirt.

But Uzi just hugged her back and smiled into V while running her fingers through her girlfriend's still partially wet hair. "Its okay, it's not your fault"

V must've believed her. Or didn't feel like arguing. Because she just hummed in reply before pulling away from Uzi and sitting on the edge of their bed infront of the worker.

As Uzi played with V's hair, she wondered what must've happened. Who did V think she was? Why was she scared? Was she stuck in some kind of memory? What was happening in it?

She didn't want to ask too much. V was already secretive about her past even after getting together. But if it was hurting someone she cares about so much, she should at least ask her if she's okay now.

So she asked.

"What happened in there?" And immedietly felt bad. What if she was forcing V to re-live this memory? Was she overstepping a boundary?

"Uh.." V stopped in her tracks, almost trying to remember what just happened before Uzi cut off her train of thought.

"N-not that you have to tell me! It's just-" Uzi sighed. "I just want to know if you're okay"

A moment of silence passed, but to Uzi it felt as though it was a thousand years, and to V, half a second.

V took a deep breath before adjusting her position so that her knees were to her chest and she rested her face on them. "No... you deserve to know. Just-" another beat passed. "- just... i-it's just hard to talk about... uh.."

It was hard to keep talking, trying to figure out which words to carefully string together to form a cohesive sentence. She shouldn't be nervous, but she hasn't really talked about this to anyone. Her mind just kept flashing back to moments she has tried so hard to forget every time she wants to attempt to tell the most important person in her life what happened.

"V? You okay? You don't have to talk, you know"

Shit. She zoned out.

V collected herself and rehearsed what she'd say in her head. Why was she overthinking? She can trust Uzi.

"I..." Her eyes trailed down, and Uzi moved to the left of V to get a better look at her.

"Th-this was like, a long time ago and-"

She stared at her hands, and watched as she fiddled with them to relieve a bit of her anxiety. Or was it fear? Nervousness? Even she can't pinpoint the feeling. But, she does know she needed to talk about it.

"When I was a- uhm... w-when I worked for the Elliot manor... there were some...bad people" she took a slightly shaky breath. Uzi could probably see that V wasn't okay. Maybe that's why she rested her hand on top of V's after she said that. And despite the topic at hand, and emotions racing through her head, V made eye contact with her girlfriend and smiled. Not the sadistic smile she sported in hunts, or the beaming one she wore when Uzi said that magic three-letter word after asking her out. It was soft. It was okay. She's safe with Uzi.

So she took another shaky breath, and continued. "They hurt me. And... the ways they did that, varied..."

Uzi's digital eyes displayed slanted lines, reminiscent of human eyebrows when someone was sad.

"A-and one of those ways... included parts of me that I still wonder why I have. Maybe it was to feed their sick fantasies" it was hard to talk about, but the lump in her artificial throat was smaller as she found herself getting more comfortable.

V opened her mouth so speak, but choked on a sob that she had been trying to suppress. Damn it. She can't be crying now. She supposed to be scary. What was she even doing right now? She was stupid to think she can be vulnerable. She's supposed to be big and scary.

While V spiraled in her thoughts, hypocritically degrading herself for things she did three seconds ago, she snapped out of it by a sudden weight, and arms wrapping around her.

It was Uzi hugging her.

Suddenly, she couldn't control it anymore, and V let out more sobs as she finally broke down. Uzi held her through all of it, she even moved in front of V to face her. And as V sobbed and cried into the crook of Uzi's neck, she wrapped her own arms around the worker, despretly shaking and clawing onto her to make sure Uzi will never leave her side.

Between V's slightly muffled sobs and sniffles, Uzi lifted her head slightly to plant a kiss on V's cheek and whispered comforting words into her audio receptors.

"I'm here now" "Its okay now" "im sorry", they all helped but sounded the same to V. Until Uzi said a particular phrase.

"You didn't deserve that"

What a joke. She absolutely did. Maybe she hadn't done anything bad when it happened but the things that were done to her was probably something whatever higher being looking down on her did to punish her ahead of time. Maybe they thought it would stop her from doing the horrible things she did later in her life as a disassembly drone. In reality V didn't deserve Uzi. Or even N. She doesn't deserve loving partners who care about her. She doesn't deserve the affection she received from them or any forgiveness that they gave her.

But V couldn't even muster the energy to say that. Uzi would probably tell her it was absurd to think that way. Maybe it was. It was hard for someone programmed to serve people to imagine those people may be bad.

At some point in her thoughts, V's sobs got reduced to just occasional hitches in her breath, and her digital tears were replaced with tired lines under golden eyes. And they were very visible to Uzi, who pulled away from the hug and was now holding V's larger hands that were slightly illuminated by the yellow triangles on them.

"Hey, it's getting late. Do you want to go to bed now?"

V blinked a few times and looked at Uzi, then to her own hands. Hands that were made to kill people like Uzi. But right now, hands that were being held by her. And she watched as Uzi's thumbs brushed along her palms.

"Yea. Maybe" V finally sighed, and leaned onto Uzi, who pushed her own weight towards her and hugged her harder.

An "I love you" escaped the purple drone as she rubbed soothing circles on her girlfriend's back. It almost made V start crying again.

She was fine. Everything's fine now. She'll never be hurt that way again. She's loved now.

She's loved now

V's voice shaky from the newly built up tears, she reciprocated the statement

"I love you, too, Uz"

It was quiet, muffled, half mumbled, but it was enough for Uzi to hear her and squeeze her girlfriend tighter.

They shuffled a bit while cuddling, and ended up in a position where Uzi was spooning V. There's a first time for everything, she guessed. But it wasn't that bad, being cradled by the one she loved the most.

Minus V's purring and occasional sniffle, it was relatively quiet. But, it was comfortable. Uzi subconsciously ran her fingers through V's hair as V listened attentively to the rhythm of Uzi's core and wrapped her tail around Uzi's leg. Getting used to how clingy and physically affectionate V was took a bit of time, especially since before dating, Uzi's only ever seen her murdering people, playing with their corpses like dolls only to animalisticly take a bite of her prey.

But it was nice. Paired with V's purring, Uzi really enjoyed cuddling with her, too.

It was a while before V broke the silence.

"You know... I never thought I'd ever tell anyone that experience, much less to a worker"

Uzi looked down at V in her arms, which caused V's complimentary eyes to look back at her.

"Not that it's a bad thing. I'm really glad I could finally talk to someone about it. I never thought I'd see myself this close to someone like you. You opened my eyes to a diffrent way of looking at things, and I'm forever grateful we met. I'm sorry I was such a dick at first."

Uzi's face softened at the remark before she leaned down to kiss V's hair

"Don't say that. You were scared. And you've changed" Uzi paused to cup V's face in her hands and lean in for another kiss, V holding the back of Uzi's head.

"I'm glad you trust me enough to talk to"

V didn't talk, but her smile and blush spoke a thousand words. Uzi just held V to her chest and continued playing with her hair.

It continued like that for a while, until V's "eyelids" grew heavy, and she eventually succumbed to her exhaustion.

~~

Uzi didn't know how long it's been, and frankly she didn't care. That was until she heard footsteps walking into her room before she saw the unmistakable yellow headband of a disassembly drone.

"Hey Zi d-" N cut himself off as he saw V asleep and walked over to Uzi.

"Did something happen?" He asked Uzi in a hushed tone, careful not to wake the drone laying in his girlfriend's arms.

"...Yea. I don't know if she would let me say what happened, but..." the worker looked at the murder machine curled up in her arms, asleep, and smiled. "...she's fine now" Uzi replied, petting V's hair.

N's face shifted to a sympathetic smile as he sat on the edge of the bed and eyed V.

"I hope she is" was all he said before going behind Uzi and snuggled up with her, hugging her from behind before he too fell asleep.

Which left Uzi alone with her thoughts.

V was right, though. A few years ago Uzi's life was hell. It was hard to even avoid hurting herself. But she's so glad she didn't. Now instead of walking to her home after a shitty day at school to be ignored by her father, she walks home after another day of university to a home with her girlfriend and boyfriend, ready to tell them about her day and hear about theirs. Now she looks forward to life, as long as she has her two favourite people in it.

Eventually, Uzi also fell asleep, being hugged by N and V, and hugging the latter back.

[myfandomrealitea]

Your post regarding specifc places for things and some places dont need a vent channel it helped me realise that the people i follow online were damaging to my health. They were constantly sharing real people who died horrifically and saying things like "if you dont share you're supporting violence " while i only joined social media to view art.

I actively speak about real life events offline with my family, we always talk about whats happening in the world once a week and mention anything new within the local and worldwide news. I didn't understand why social media was worsening my mental health around these topics since i could speak about it in real life with my family. i assumed i was horrible for simply not wanting to see it online, When your post about a safe space came up i realised why it made me feel so bad, the artists i followed no longer were posting art and were just constantly sharing news daily about horrific events. It became inescapable and i was unknownly doomscrolling for hours on social media while hoping to see art (that just made me feel bad viewing after seeing so much death) , my only escape was going offline. I already made new accounts just for art and Im so thankful for your post since i did avoid everything that was about real world events since the account is only for art and i feel so much more.. i guess happier.. but definitely more mentally healthy if that makes sense? It felt like my mind was drained or foggy when scrolling through social media, and i wasnt actually paying attention before but now its a lot more, clear, healthy and positive. Im able to think properly and actually pay attention and appreciate the good things online

I'm so glad I was able to help you on your journey to bettering your wellbeing. Its an aspect of why I run this blog and talk about the things that I do.

So very often people don't actually register or realize what parts of their lives are causing stress. They attribute it to 'working too much' or 'not sleeping enough' without realizing that there are direct causes for things like not sleeping enough. And I'm not saying every single part of life comes back to activism, but very often we don't even realize how much negativity and forced awareness we're exposing ourselves to.

I used to religiously follow accounts on Instagram which posted about animal abuse. Other than a handful of celebrities my Instagram feed would be the most graphic videos you could imagine of people hacking into live dogs with axes, boiling cats alive in huge vats of water, jockeys tearing at horse's mouths until their teeth were loose and they were leaving a trail of blood as they walked the winner's circle.

I used to think if I wasn't constantly forcing myself to acknowledge that these things were happening, if I wasn't constantly reminding myself the extent at which these things happen, I was a bad person. I wasn't a real animal lover. If I truly loved animals why wasn't I sharing these videos? Why wasn't I sitting there with thousands of other people acknowledging what animals go through while I sit comfy at home doing nothing?

It got the point where I'd be throwing up constantly, I refused to sleep because I was terrified of the nightmares and my hands would shake as I opened up the Instagram app because I dreaded what I'd see today.

It wasn't helping me. It wasn't helping the animals. I'm just as aware now of what animals go through without having to see any of it.

But now, I have the wellbeing to actually devote myself to meaningful activism. Not just tormenting myself to no outcome. Now, I have the willpower and the energy to sign petitions and do research and take steps in my own life to better the welfare of the animals in my care.

Now I can sleep at night and wake up well-rested with the energy and the motivation to do things both for myself and for other people. Now, I can scroll Instagram and leave polite, correctional comments on misguided videos about animals. Now I have the knowledge to devote my attention and my efforts to where it actually makes a difference and changes animal's lives.

It is such, such a hard thing to drag yourself out of. We're so conditioned into thinking suffering shared is suffering lessened. We're so conditioned into believing that by spamming words anywhere we can we are the direct cause of change.

Its a hell of a learning climb. A steep one. But I genuinely believe the world would be better off for learning and changing as we both had the courage to.

[phoenixyfriend]

A lot has been happening today that rep calls could affect. UN vetoes, KOSA, Julian Assange, UNRWA's funding crisis and Israel's demands that it be completely dismantled, the large number of bills we just learned are on the docket for the coming week, and even the good news that is recent successes by the BDS movement.

And like... I care about this stuff. I want to talk about it. But it takes an emotional and mental toll to do it, and it takes time, and... there are two reasons to write up reference, update, information posts:

Compensation. I'm not a journalist, but if I were, I would in theory be getting paid for the information I collect and share to my audience. However, I am not, and am doing this for free. I have gotten maybe $5 in donations since I started this project, and while I recognize that this is probably because people are (quite rightly) donating instead to Palestinian charities or local campaigns or something, it's a basic fact that I am not actually being compensated for this work.

Promoting change and activism. This is in fact my main goal: to have a positive impact on current events by giving people a guide on the news and politics because there's so much happening that's hard to keep track of, and if I'm already doom-listening to half a dozen political podcasts, I might as well save other people the trouble, right?

The thing is, like... most of the reblogs on my guidelines and helpful posts are from me, to me. I am the one reblogging. I am desperately trying to get these things to circulate so I can make a difference, but... no dice. Some of the posts are admittedly pretty long (my 'how to call your reps, here's some verbiage' post is 3.4k words), and I can imagine some people are saving it for later, and then maybe forget, or they don't want to share something controversial, and like... I do get that. I do.

But it does mean the posts aren't circulating, and thus they're having less of an impact, and I can't help but feel like there are other things I could be doing to help that would be more effective. More bang for my buck, except it's my time and effort instead of my money. Like, maybe it would have more an effect if I hunted down a wider variety of elected officials I could bother instead of instructing other people on how to bother theirs? Maybe going to protests (which would be a huge commitment due to distance) would be more effective than trying to help ensure that the effectiveness of "I actually have a vote and you are losing it" of calls has the weight of numbers behind it.

Especially since I did try to blaze it, and tumblr mods rejected the post. I don't know why. It's not against ToS, since none of it was disinformation or election interference, which is the only reason given on the FAQ for why things might not be approved for blazing, but who knows.

Maybe tumblr just decided the possible blowback on them for blazing a pro-ceasefire post would be too much.

I don't know. I just... it's just really disheartening to try to help and it gets stymied because, as much effort as it might be, it doesn't reach more than a (comparatively) tiny audience, especially when my relatively low-effort polls and shitposts get easily ten times as many notes with way less energy put in.

EDIT: This is not a post that I need to have reblogged. this is just me bitching. This a vent post. What I am asking people to reblog is my activism posts that I spend hours on to try and help nudge things in a better direction. Please reblog THOSE. This one doesn't need reblogging unless you have an actual comment. Reblogging this post just to reblog, with neither useful comment nor encouragement, is not helping me with my issue of 'not paid, not making an impact' or helping with any important causes.

[poppyandzena]

For those who want to leave The Foundation:

Realizing you are in an unhealthy group dynamic is mortifying, increasingly so the longer you have invested into it. The first thing I want you to understand is that you should not punish yourself. You are not stupid for wanting friends, role models, a community that makes you feel accepted. Here are tips to make your departure from The Foundation less daunting.

Delete your logs. PZ have proven to publicize sensitive information to intimidate victims. Whatever you say in The Foundation is not protected. I have provided a link on how to mass-delete your posts so your information is less likely to be leaked.

NOTE: UNDISCORD HAS TROUBLE DELETING POSTS FROM THREADS. PLEASE AVOID POSTING IN THREADS.

Minimize sharing personal info. If you are considering departure or you simply feel uncomfortable, avoid posting in vent channels. Your distress can be used either in the moment or at a later time against you. Avoid discussing personal information such as details about your day, birthday, where you live, your disabilities, etc. Trauma memories are especially vulnerable, so do what you can to avoid disclosing what can be weaponized.

Establish a safe friend outside the server. I recommend someone wholly unrelated to The Foundation or PZ to ensure your privacy, but if you can vet that a former member is safe enough to talk to, that is alright. This isnt to say every member in The Foundation is untrustworthy, just that it is beneficial to have friends outside that you can fall back on. I emphasize this because victims of The Foundation express feeling ostracized and cut off from their friendships after departure. Loneliness is not to be taken lightly as it can exacerbate mental illness. IRL friends are especially important to rely on. If you do not have friends outside The Foundation, please seek out servers, clubs, groups related to positive interests. At the very least you will be able to have a healthy outlet.

Try not to rock the boat. I understand you may want to try to express your dissatisfaction in the server. Unless you are sure you are protected thanks to the steps above, do not sacrifice your emotional wellbeing to try to argue or debate. You may be subjected to group shaming, direct shaming by PZ, or simply banned before you can make sure your information in the server is wiped.

Prioritize you. PZ may create calls to action or instill the idea that you are not a good member/person if you do not intensely participate in The Fight. You don't have protect their honor. And if you decide to defect, you do not have to defend or protect PZ victims. Your emotional wellbeing takes precedence. You deserve to walk away and focus only on you.

Do not blame yourself. Whether it's for not leaving sooner, not speaking out, or even participating in things you now realize are hurtful--do not punish yourself. I promise, this can be a footnote in your life. You are not a bad person for just wanting to be cared about. Stay gentle. Stay soft. Keep trucking on.

Remember that The Foundation is not typical of servers, clubs, or groups. Yes, drama can happen everywhere, but The Foundation is uniquely insular and volatile compared to casual servers. You will find a better, calmer, more fun server with ease.

If you were victimized, I'm sorry. Do not feel pressured to reveal that information to us, especially if you are still in unsafe situations. If you reach out to me, there is a chance I will not publish asks if I feel like the info provided may reveal who you are to The Foundation.

Thank you. Stay safe.

[imyourbratzdoll]

𝒍𝒆𝒎𝒐𝒏 𝒔𝒖𝒈𝒂𝒓 𝒄𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒊𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒓 𝒅𝒂𝒅𝒅𝒚

🍓the strawberry shack masterlist🍓

summary - luke has been having a stressful time lately and decides to try out a sweet girl from the strawberry shack.

warning - smut, gloryhole, swearing.

18+ only please, the gif and headers I use aren't mine.

Warnings and Reminders - Please do not plagiarise, copy, repost/republish, adapt, or translate any of my work on any social media platforms, apps, or third-party sites. The only platforms I post my work on are: Tumblr and Wattpad. I do not own any character of any franchise (Marvel etc.) All my works are fiction and may be dark or triggering content: READ ALL WARNINGS BEFORE PROCEEDING.

Luke had been having a terrible day. He had Taylor pissing him off and lawyers coming in and out of his diner because of his divorce from Nicole. Luke couldn’t catch a break, and fishing didn’t seem to calm him anymore. He needed something more. Luke felt ashamed and dirty for entering a place like this, as he wasn’t someone you’d think would. But he had heard it was the place to go if you had to vent your frustrations. 

He stormed in before quickly apologising to the startled woman behind the counter. He nervously walks up to her and looks around before reaching into his pocket and taking out some money. He hands it over with a soft smile, which she returns and gestures for him to enter through the door down the hall. “Thank you.” He nods and heads off in the direction she pointed him to. Luke enters and gulps as he notices the women’s lower halves positioned in different poses. 

He awkwardly heads over to where you lie, bent over with your beautiful, plump ass sticking out. He clears his throat as he stands behind you, swallowing the lump that forms as his pants begin to tighten. “Uh… Is it okay if I touch you?” 

“Yes, honey. Do whatever you want to me.” He groans at your sultry voice, feeling pre-cum leak out of his tip and create a wet patch on his jeans. Luke reaches forward, unzipping his pants and taking out his hardened member before he steps forward and swipes it against your sopping folds. He sighs when he comes into contact with your softness. He rubs his bulbous tip against your puffy clit before pressing it against your entrance, slowly pushing into your hole until you engulf him, squeezing his thickness and swallowing him deeper inside you. A moan slips from your lips, and your walls flutter around the massive member. 

“Oh, fuck!” Luke groans, closing his eyes as he savours the feel of being inside your warm cunt. He buries himself deep before slowly pulling back out until his cockhead is the only thing left inside. He begins to thrust in and out slowly. His hand grips your hip while the other grasps the cheeks of your plump ass. His head falls back, and his mouth drops open. Luke felt like he was in heaven, never having been in someone so wonderful before. He continued to pull out slowly, only to thrust in harder and deeper. Your nails dig into the bed underneath, your body jolts with each thrust, and your walls tighten as shivers roll down your spine. 

The hand playing with your ass moves to the front of you, locating your puffy clit. Luke slaps it softly before pinching it between his fingers and rubbing it, enjoying how your cunt flutters around his cock with each movement. Luke plants his feet down and begins to pick up the pace, slamming deep into you, grunting when he feels you squeeze his cock every time he pounds into your sweet spot. His fingers continue to rub your swollen button, holding you closer to him as he fucks into you, biting his pink bottom lip and screwing his eyes shut. A whimper slips from your lips as your walls pulsate around him, and your juices squirt out, covering the burly man. Luke grunts. He looks down and sees your cream coating him, causing his balls to tighten and his cock to twitch wildly before he empties himself inside you, filling you with thick ropes of hot cum. 

Luke sighs, resting his forehead against the wall as he catches his breath. “Jesus… I’m so sorry, darling!” He slowly pulls out and tucks his softened cock into his jeans, pulling out a clean handkerchief and quickly cleaning you up. Spewing a bunch of apologies, whispering to himself that he’s an idiot for using a woman like this.

Your heart warms, and you smile softly. “It’s okay, honey. Don’t be sorry, and I’m here for you whenever you need me.” You sigh, resting your cheek against the soft pillow that you have.

“Again, I’m so sorry!” Luke continues to ramble, cheeks turning a soft pink before he says his goodbyes and leaves, gnawing on his bottom lip, knowing he’ll be back even though he feels disgusted with himself.

thank you for reading!

feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated.

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

05/01/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; Samba; Con; Rachel House; Gizmo Darby; Nathan; Vico; Leslie; Watch Party Reminders: Palm Royale tomorrow; Adopt Our Crew Breakdown of GLAAD Fan Spotlight; Love Notes; Daily Darby / Tonight's Taika

= Cast & Crew Sightings =

= Samba Schutte =

It's the last week to order this limited edition Crew For Life T-Shirt! All proceeds go to benefiting "EVERY MOTHER COUNTS". Order your Crew For Life shirt here!

Img Src: Samba Schutte's IG

= Con O'Neill =

Our dear Con O'Neill is encouraging everyone to get out and vote! #VoteTheFuckersOut

Img Src: Con O'Neill's IG

= Nathan Foad =

Quick peak of Nathan on his IG again <3

Img Src: Nathan Foad's IG

= Rachel House =

There's a new article out featuring Rachel House and her first time directing!

Rachel House on first-time directing and the power of mounga

Img Src: @temaungafilm Instagram

= Vico Ortiz =

Vico's posted a few updates, the first link relates to recent events. Check it out below.

Img Src: Vico Ortiz IG

In addition, there's a new episode of Date My Abuelita First Podcast! Date My Abuelita, First! Podcast Links

Img Src: Vico Ortiz IG

= Leslie Jones =

Reminder! Leslie is hosting "Netflix Is a Joke" Fest at the Hollywood Palladium in Los Angeles, CA! Want more info? Visit NetflixIsAJokeFest

= Gizmo Darby =

Samba must be out visiting the Darby Family because here's Gizmo taking residence in Samba's lap.

Img Src: Samba Schutte's IG

== Watch Party Reminders ==

= Palm Royale =

Palm Royale WP May 2 via @LCWebsXOXO with the lovely @/dominicburgess approx. 4pm EDT/9pm BST/1pm PST!

= Wrecked Season 1 =

Another week of Wrecked Season 1 is on the docket! Don't have access? Reach out to me on @gentlebeardsbarngrill on tumblr, or @aspirantabby42 on twitter.

Days: Apr 29 - May 3

Times: 3:30 pm PT / 6:30 pm ET / 11:30 pm BST

== Adopt Our Crew ==

You may have heard that GLAAD released their "Where We Are on TV" report. Well our fantastic crewmates over at @adoptourcrew were kind enough to do a thread on twitter breaking down the various aspects. @adoptourcrew's Twitter Thread Here. If you have access to twitter, please head over there and give their post some love. Thank you friends for putting this all together!

Full GLAAD Report

TV Line Article

The Wrap Article

Hollywood Reporter Article

Gay Times Article

= Fan Spotlight =

= Cast Cards =

Tonight we have the priest that officiated Stede and Mary's wedding, Benton Jennings! Thank you @melvisik for making sure he made it in with the rest of the cast!

= OFMD Colouring Pages =

Ooo @patchworkpiratebear has done it again! This one looks so cool! I can't wait to color this one myself! Thanks hon!

@patchworkpiratebear's Tumblr

= Pixel Art =

Our awesome @blueberreads started MerMay off strong with the SaveOFMD MerMay prompt of Spanish Jackie'z!

Source: @blueberreads Tumblr

== Love Notes ==

Hey there lovelies. I know that there's a lot going on right now in the world and it's especially tense for those of you who are in Uni or in cities with Universities. This is a really tough time for you, and I want you to know we're thinking about you.

If you need to vent, or you need help getting access to something, please be sure to reach out to your crew. We care a lot about you, and we know these are scary times. Make sure to stay safe if you can, and if you're in a position to be out in harms way, make sure you've got emergency supplies and support in case things get hairy. There's a link above in the Vico section specifically regarding if things get really hairy where you can go for help (or how you can help those who need it).

You all are so very brave. Seriously, whether you're on the ground, or supporting financially, or bringing supplies, or just spreading the word online and keeping eyes and cameras on things to keep the situations honest, or even just staying put where it's safe and taking some self-care time-- you're doing everything you can.

Sometimes it feels like what we do doesn't make an impact. Sometimes it feels like these tiny ripples won't go anywhere. You're making the ripples, and those inspire others to make ripples as well.

You're making a difference no matter how big or how small, don't forget that lovelies. Please stay safe wherever you are, were thinking of you.

== Daily Darby / Tonight's Taika ==

Today's theme is "Zoom zoom zoom!"

Gifs courtesy of the fantastic @kiwistede and darling @meluli <3

[possumcollege]

Bless Tumblr for being the least soul-rending of my social spaces online. I'm hoping a lot of it is just that I don't engage with the horror in here and try not to reward the devs more misguided ideas but I appreciate the environment that others also build here.

Less

- existential horror

- ragebait

-trollfarming

- grief-fuel

- doomposting

- trad-propaganda, glorification of toxic masculinity

- hazardous levels of sarcasm* and outrage-porn

More

- soft happy beasties

- sincere affection/appreciation for the inhuman

- emotional vulnerability and openess

- unhinged queer joy

- better* kink-literacy

- opossums

- accepting of nsfw material , when management aren't being cowards

- beautiful poetry for my heart to snack on

- all the little guys that you think about constantly want to show us

- benign* goblin activity

- vague documentation of things that are but shouldn't be crimes

- cringe-venting, oversharing, guilty pleasure show 'n' tell

- shit that makes me cry in a positive direction

* we be sarcastic and snarky as fuck here but every first n third post isn't 'imagine being this deluded/shitty/stupid,' about something.

* kink can be extremely hard to suss out for a lot of people. There's a lot of bad takes and bad actors, and problematic camps even within pro-kink circles. On average, this place handles it better.

* Tempted to say some of y'all need to have a pan of water thrown at you from time to time but there 'fore the grace of dog go I and I can always just hide a post or flag out a topic for myself.

Anyway, I appreciate the hell out of my mutuals and the delightful weirdos that I follow. Keep up the nice work.

I'm sure as hell not making this shit for normal people.

[moonshine999]

Aegon and Gold 

Side note : this is a very mixed up “analysis” that sort of combines both show elements as well as some popular fan theories/assumptions since we barely had time with the character (may I remind you all, to possible infuriation, that we never saw Sunfyre up close). So yeah <3

So I do think it is said quite a lot that Aegon would wear gold to honour Sunfyre and what not and I do believe he would happily do that, it’s just he can’t.

Okay so first let’s just get straight what gold can mean for him. 

Yes of course, it’s the colour of his most beloved dragon. They aren’t strongest dragon - rider bond in all of Targaryen history for nothing. Sunfyre was able to kill dragons much larger than him, defended Aegon in crisis and would not go down without a fight even when he was on the brink of death. Looking at the larger picture I think Sunfyre represents a sort of freedom for Aegon. To fly anywhere he’d like, on his own terms, never to be found and be freed from these shackles of duty that he (initially) does not want. Sunfyre also symbolises him finally having bonded with someone. His father acted as though he didn’t exist ; his mother was too young and pressurised to shape him into a worthy heir (and taking whatever means it takes to do so). His dragon is his very first true bond, him claiming the dragon alone is proof enough that he is a worthy Targaryen (in his head) 

Other than Sunfyre however, gold is also the colour of the first dress we see (a grown up) Helaena in. His lady wife and younger sister. Now going off the show alone, sadly we do not have any scenes of them together but in context and background clues alone (Helaena laughing at his taunts at Jace, Aegon getting jealous when she accepts Jace’s offer, Helaena looking at him with pity/worry when he is crowned - knowing what this means for both of them and so on) I do not think that their marriage is a utter disaster (as some fans suggest). Gold is the first impression of his wife, the mother of their three children. Who do you think he had the courage to vent his heart to when he got too drunk in their shared rooms? Who do you think he constantly sends gifts to, as an apology for not being around? Who do you think Alicent brings up first when the Dyana situation happens? (“think of the shame on your wife..on me”). I do believe that Helaena is some source of happiness for him. It may have taken years to develop a strong bond ,as he did with his dragon, with her but they are there. After three kids and six kingdoms to manage, I think it is fair to assume that they get along fairly well.

Now obviously there is a lot more to Helaena and Aegon’s marriage than “getting along fairly well” but for the convenience of the post and the topic at hand, I have had to make it somewhat more concise. 

So Gold is definitely a positive colour for him. But one thing that is not gold is the very symbol of his title, claim and rule. His crown.

The crown of the conqueror is black with the red ruby in the middle. I’ve also heard some people call it a dark silver (which would be the direct contrast to gold). So while gold represents his freedom and happiness, silver (the direct contrast) or black (the title colour representing the opposing faction) represent the cage of duty he has to put himself in for his and his family’s safety. During the coronation itself, he does not wear dark green (as he did earlier) or gold (even though he may prefer it) but rather black to represent this in a way. 

In comparison, the crown worn by Rhaenyra (the key figure of team black) is gold. And I think arguably Rhaenyra (even as a Royal woman in Westerosi society) has more freedom than Aegon.

Also the gold crown of The Old King was also worn by Viserys. I do not think that in Aegon’s perspective, his father was a source of happiness in any way. But what could have been, was his crown. Gold and the symbol of King Jaehaerys I, someone who had a long, relatively peaceful reign over Westeros. Since the idea that he was to inherit the throne was put in his head so early, he must have thought about it quite a bit. He did not want it of course but if it had to be done then perhaps, he would have desired a reign like the Old King’s. (Not to mention, he and Helaena named their first borns after Jaehaerys.)

A few comparisons to my Alicent “analysis” : 

So similar to Alicent leaving her childhood memories with Rhaenyra behind when she became queen (abandoning the colour blue), Aegon also leaves his freedom behind when he becomes king (not wearing gold or green but black)

Both her eldest children and now king and queen (Aegon and Helaena) are following her patterns and reaching their breaking points and have had a shift in their wardrobe to symbolise as such.

[traumasurvivors]

what are all your blogs? I had no idea that you and BorderlineReminders were the same person

I get that a lot! You’re not the first person to not know they’re both me.

@aprilthebiqueen is my personal blog where I just share what I like or what resonates with me.

@borderlinereminders is my blog where I post about coping skills and healthy relationships. (It started out as reminders directed at people with BPD but over time it’s become a blog that’s about way more than that and is for people without BPD too!)

@flappyhappystim is my stim toy business blog!

@somepositivityforyou is my general positivity blog. It’s kind of a catch all for everything I love positivity wise that I don’t feel necessarily fits on this one.

@disabilityreminders My disability reminders and positivity blog!

@nothingbutadorableanimals is what the name says! I take pet submissions pics too.

@aprilsadviceaskblog is my blog for taking vent asks or advice asks or whatever else.

@traumasurvivorsactivities This is where I post activities related to coping, self care or general wellness.

[win-writes]

𝘉𝘭𝘶𝘦 𝘏𝘢𝘪𝘳

༶ pairing; jouno x fem!reader

༶ contains; sensitive topics (s/h), mentions of cuts & scars, fluff, jouno comforting reader

༶ a/n; please proceed only if you're sure that reading this won't trigger you!! this is pretty much a vent and i was really hesitant if i should post this, but i thought that maybe something good can come out of this and help comfort others as well

"I'm sorry" your voice comes out raspy, cause by your violent cries from just a few moments ago. Your eyes are puffy and your hands, that previously assaulted your own body, are now trembling.

"It's alright" he replies, without interrupting his hands carefully taking care of your damaged skin. The soft pads of his fingers run over your cuts ever so gently one last time, before applying bandages over them "But you shouldn't be asking me for forgiveness, my love" he leans closer, placing a kiss over your covered scars "Your own body comes first" Your chin trembles as you feel another pool of tears forming in your eyes.

Jouno always finds the right words to say when you need it the most. You truly couldn't be more grateful he embraced with so much love this side of yourself that you despise so much. But there's still a part of you that feels guilty knowing he has to deal with something like this because of you.

"Princess, what are you thinking?" you snap out of your thoughts and stare at him with your big sad eyes "That I don't deserve you at all" your throat thickens as your tears roll down your face. Jouno lets out a sad sigh, positioning himself beside you "Please. don't ever say that again" he cups your sweaty face in his warm hands, drawing invisible circles on your cheeks with his thumbs.

"But it's true" you lower your gaze as you speak "You could do so much better than this.." a sob arises in your throat "With someone far less pathetic than me"

Jouno can feel his heart twisting at your words. It pains him when he listens to you speak so ill of yourself. Especially when you say things like that. Like he could find somebody else and be happier. Little did you know that Jouno couldn't even dream of being with someone who isn't you.

"My love, look at me" you slowly raise your eyes. Jouno gently pulls you closer to him, connecting your lips together. Your hands grab on his shirt for dear life, afraid that he's gonna disappear the moment you open your eyes. Like he's part of a dream and you'll lose him when you wake up. He can taste your salty tears on your lips and hear your heartbeat pacing with every passing second your lips remain locked with his.

A few moments later, he backs up "I wouldn't change you for anyone else" he whispers right above your mouth. He places a kiss on your cheek before resting his forehead against yours "Not a single day passes without thinking how lucky I am to be yours"

Hearing his last words sent an electric pulse through your bones. Jouno always preferred to express his feelings through actions, so to say you're not shocked by his direct confession would be an understatement "If you're the lucky one.." you raise your hand to play with his earring "Then what the hell am I supposed to be?" you ask while a smile slowly roses on your face.

Jouno's face dazzles with happiness the second he notices your heartbeat returning to its calm rhythm. He holds your free hand into his own, placing another kiss at the back of your palm "Since I'm the lucky one.." he caresses your face and gives you his warmest smile, before leaning into your ear to whisper words coming from the bottom of his heart.

"I guess that makes you the perfect one"

Hello again, if you've read this far, i just want to let you know that you matter and idc if you don't take my words seriously cause i'm a silly little nobody on the internet, but this comes from the bottom of my heart, your life matters and i'm so proud of you for being here today <3 thank you for spending your time reading this, please take care and remember that you'll always have someone wishing nothing but the best of things coming your way<3