#abelism tw

[narcatsisst]

maybe every narc abuse truther is just jealous about how pwNPD are always so cool and funny. like, 99.99% of the pwNPD ive interacted with are amazing. and why easier to talk to than egotypicals, if i may add. every pwNPD instantly gets superiority points just because of the narcissism and i think ppl that dont have NPD are just pissy abt that honestly

[peepawsammywammywoo]

Why are teachers in the learning support class/special Ed class SO abilest

I have chronic pain, muscle weakness, joint issues, poor blood circulation and so much more, I'm also autsitc

Yesterday I had gardening in the class, that everyone participated in. It was cold, and I was unable to feel my fingers properly. I explained that to my teacher. She gave me a sitting down task, cutting suff, I couldn't do it as my fingers were all tingly and numb. My teacher, I'm calling her Mrs W.

Mrs W said "you have to keep trying and trying and trying. If you stop using your body you will loose the ability to use it" (its a 90 minute lesson I'm sure I would be fine. And at some point I won't be able to use my body properly, my condition IS worsening.)

At 12, mid way through the lesson I had to get my adhd meds, I had to walk to get them. My legs were ever so wobbly, even using my walking stick. Mrs W saw this. And saw how I was struggling to hold my water. She then about 5 minutes after that said "If you can't cut vegetables why don't you stand and water the garden"

I can barley stand on a good day ..

I explained I couldn't and she lectured me about how "Oh your really going to sit there the entire lesson doing nothing??"

Later, about 12:20 she asked me to go inside and get a iPad to check the weather, I said I could do it on my phone so I didn't have to walk, she said "why? You were able to walk earlier just get up and get the ipad" (istg you can check the weather yourself Mrs w)

I explained that I couldn't walk at the moment and she went on a big rant about how "Oh, but your able to walk to the bus at the end of the day, you can walk a few steps to the ipads!" (I don't even walk far to the bus...)

I explained how my contion changes and I might be able to run at like 6am but at 1pm I might not be able to stand. It changes. All the time. (I can't actually run but it was an example)

And she had the balls to say "yeah. It changes when you want it to. When you need to walk"

What the actual heck??

Your a teacher in the learning support class, it's full of mentally disabled or physically disabled students (or even both)

I cried after that, because I wish I could choose when i can walk, a teacher. Came up to me and asked if I was okay. Before I could even respond Mrs W said "yes! He's fine"

I was not fine, I was in tears and alot of pain.

I cried for an hour till a teacher helped me inside and called home.

That is bullshit why are teachers in that class so unhelpful???

(Apparently they don't even need training to teach in these types of classes, they don't even have to know about disabilities and stuff)

[defiantsuggestions]

Why is it when we say "don't blame mental disorders for your abuse" people immediately jump to """YOU'RE DEFENDING ABUSERS AND INVALIDATING MY SUFFERING"""

No. No no no no no. We are not excusing abusive behavior, and we believe you when you say you suffered.

Your abuse was real and you should have been treated better, and there is no excuse for what was done to you.

We're just saying, "don't attack people who are just trying to exist."

Those are two separate statements. Why do you not see that those are two separate statements?

Your abuse was real! Just quit attacking unrelated people over it! Your trauma doesn't give you the right to hurt whoever you deem a convenient target! Abuse is the problem. The lack of resources and support for victims is the problem. Not people suffering from a disorder. You are attacking strangers who have never so much as spoken to you, you are assuming people you have never met are cruel and evil for the crime of their brain working a little differently than yours. That is the problem.

The answer to your suffering is not going to come from screaming at people who were never involved with your situation. You are lashing out at the wrong thing.

[aftonsparv-bugzz]

B33 < hey tiktok can we please stop drawing disorders as art

:33 < if its your disorder and youre represenyting yoursellf throughg art thats fine, but genuinely dont draw disorders based on how YOU think it would be like to live woth that disorder, amd how you think that disorder looks/feels like, because ican guarantee you youre probably wrong, and honestly it just feels belittling. idont want my disorder made into "silly art" that isnt representation at all. if soemone witt the disorders ihave make srt on their experiences, thats okay !! but someone who dosenh have that disorder and makes art off it ? youdont know how it actually feels like

[blessedshortcake]

I will never forget or forgive the damage Big Bang Theory and Young Sheldon did for the autism community. "But Cupcake there are bigger issues to talk about when it comes to abelism" i KNOW but I am still fucking pissed off. People take Sheldon as an autism Icon when they have no idea what its like

My sister has an almost 2 year old who today was being fussy about sour cream touching her cheese while having dinner and refused to eat it unless it was Just cheese. She doesnt have the vocabulary to tell us so many things so half the time they only know she genuinely doesnt like something if she gags which is already an issue but whatever. My sisters shitty parenting skills are not the point here.

She sighed and made a comment how she "hopes she wont be like Sheldon, complaining that his peas touched his mashed potatoes". And I got this sinking mix of shame, anger and anxiety because what if she will be like that? That is a common autistic "problem", I have multiple friends on the spectrum who are like that as well

But because she knows it from that stupid show where its portrayed as just a thing he does and just a reoccuring inconviniance because hes fussy and self righteous she also associates it with Just Fussyness. She makes comments about how dramatic she is for not wanting to eat something she expressed her dislike for before

And yes sometimes kids are just like that where you can offer them some food and they dont want it, then retry with a different description (ex. A ham sandwich vs bread with butter and ham) and they will want it. That is one thing but traits sooooo heavily linked to autism being reduced to just a kid being dramatic is so fucking bad.

Im not sure if my niece is autistic. I am not a medical professional and also shes 2 but the comment is just... not it. BBT and YS keeps using autism traits to make a main character thats just quirky and fussy and annoying because thats his character and when people see those same traits in actual autistics they immediately label them as also just weird or dramatic or a handful

[system-of-a-feather]

You belong in a hospital. DID systems are dangerous. You could literally split a serial killer or rapist alter tomorrow and lose control of yourself and have no memory of it. You are a danger to society and a ticking time bomb, and so is every other system.

bro I just post and look at birds idk man, maybe you should get your nose out of M Night Shaymalan and anime tropes and like, idk, join me in looking at birds cause life is a lot less of a owo demons exist world if you just like, idk man, looked at birds every once and a while

like i actually have an evil alter and all he wants to do is buy guitar stuff and play the guitar idk man i think we just out here playing guitar and looking at birds but idk man i guess you'd know my life better than me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

still man i think idk you should just look at birds and play some guitar or somethin you seem a little high wound man idk

like look

look here

watch some chickens

live chicken cam

you can even feed the chicken

just enjoy chicken

[ruthlesslistener]

This is gonna sound weird but ur like the only writer that seems to have their shit together re Hollow Knight, but how would you characterize the Hollow Knight? Fandom consensus is something akin to "overgrown innocent child must protect" but yk fandom and hunter's journal mentions they're fully grown? ik hollow knight is just piecemeal so its all up to interpretation but still. confusion!

Ahshs I'm not sure if I'm the *only* competent writer in the fandom- there are lots of other people out there who are just as passionate and into the lore of Hollow Knight as I am, but have different interpretations that fit well within the canon story and are just as acceptable as my own. Unless you're just talking about my writing period, in which I regretfully must inform you that Until Dawn Shall Break is the only fic I have ever written that I actually did an outline for and is the only longform fic that I see myself finishing. I'm not exactly the most competent writer either, I'm just figuring shit out as I go.

But yeah you kind of hit a personal pet peeve of mine, which is the depiction of the Hollow Knight. I do not mean to insult or belittle anyone with trauma that involves age regression and/or a retreat to a more childish state of mind to reconnect with a past they were denied or found comfort in, or belittle anyone who needs high levels of outside care, but the fandom consensus of treating Hollow like an overgrown, innocent baby who was done wrong and needs to be protected and/or cared for is...bad. It's really fucking bad. Maybe this is my personal experience as an autistic adult speaking, but infantilizing someone is essentially the exact same deal as treating them like an empty, unthinking corpse like they were in canon, simply with a level of sugarcoating on it to make it more bearable to the fandom. Infantilization is an abuse tactic. It's a means of enacting control over someone by dismissing their own ability to make choices for themselves and replacing it with what you think is best for them- essentially controlling their life for what you believe is 'their own good'. It isn't helping someone, its seizing total control over their own life because you do not deem them 'mature' enough to make their own choices. It's a major problem with neurodivergent/disabled people and it is ESPECIALLY prevalent among mute/silent individuals because for some reason, language and articulation is associated with maturity and intelligence. It's a lack of respect and a statement of power, and it's alarming as hell to see it placed upon the vessels, given that they are shown to not only capable of taking care of themselves, but are also robbed of their autonomy by virtue of being voidborn. They cannot voice their suffering. They were believed to be animated corpses. And treating the Pure Vessel itself- a vessel reared to full adulthood and a god in their own right who spent an uncountless number of years in an agonizing battle of will against a genocidal god thousands of years their senior, who knew the stakes of failure and likely bears that weight on their ruined shoulders- as an innocent child? Inexcusable. Their lack of a voice does not mean that they should be treated with a lack of respect.

(This is also a major issue with animalkeeping and pet training, which is another thing I am very passionate about, but since comparing animals and people has somehow wound up being a bad thing, I'll leave this tangent here. Just know that this is a universal problem among any living being, not just people specifically.)

((Hell, I even see it as a problem with human juveniles specifically, because the whole reason why we protect, care for, and impose strict regulations on children is because they are new to the world and require proper guidance and role modeling. It should be phased out more and more the older a child gets, as soon as it becomes apparent that they do not need as much guidance on a task as they did before. Offering aid should be done from a position of respect and consideration, not one of dismissal.))

And we *know* that the Hollow Knight is an adult, because as you said, it is outright stated in canon that they have been raised to their prime form, aka their adult moult. Which, if we're getting biotechnical here, means that their body-which is very different from Little Ghost's- has physically matured as well as mentally, given that insects reach sexual maturation on their final adult moult. The body and hormones are just as important to development as time is, which is why despite being from the same clutch, the Hollow Knight and Little Ghost are an adult and child respectively. While both have been around the same amount of time, the Hollow Knight has physically and mentally aged, while Little Ghost is still physically (and likely mentally) a child. Stunting is, of course, likely due to access to resources over time- real insects become developmentally stunted if they lack enough nutrients irl, and Ghost led a very different life than the Hollow Knight- but the point still stands that the Hollow Knight is an adult, and should be treated as one. Even if they lack life experience and require extensive care post-Radiance, they are still physically and mentally an adult, and that means they should be treated as one. If you want to write them as returning to childish urges that they never were allowed to indulge in- that's great! Do that. If you want to write or depict them as being intensely animalistic in some regards- again, that's great! They're not human and they sure as fuck aren't a bug, no reason they won't act like that, esp. in the grips of agony. But remember that they are an adult, they have seen far more shit than you have, and that they deserve to be treated with the same level of respect that you'd give any war veteran. Needing more care =/= stripping them of respect. And honestly, given what we've seen of them in game, I don't think they're an overgrown innocent child at all. 

But anyways, now that that tangent is over, it's time to get to what you were actually asking for- how I characterize the Hollow Knight. And it's complicated, but I'll try to sum it up as best as I can:

Autistic young adult who was a gifted child growing up but now suffers from severe burnout and suicidal depression, magnified by an abusively strict childhood and an emotionally unavailable family. Specific autism flavor is hyperempathy and sociability paired with extreme masking. Extremely mature in some areas (such as certain areas of problem solving and self-discipline), but extremely deficient in some areas because of aformentioned family issues. Genderless, but gives off the vibes of a transfem egg who is the family's favorite 'son'. Also they're a hyperpredator with the body of a xenomorph, power over nothingness itself, and have both the will, skill and resolve to kill god. Their passivity is the only thing saving you. 

That summary was a lot longer than I anticipated. 

But yeah, I basically see Hollow as someone who is extremely quiet, reserved, and 'mature' by nature, which is what allowed them to pass as the Pure Vessel where Little Ghost wouldn't (it's not just their anxiety- they're really just that quiet). They've got an innate protective streak a mile wide, which was partially what inspired them to become and stay the Pure Vessel, though their desire to end the suffering of both their siblings and the Radiance was admittedly overshadowed by their childish desire to be loved by their father, which is a guilt that haunts them to this day. They're also stubborn as hell, which is why they resisted the Radiance so long, and they have hyperempathy, which motivated them to try to stay pure to save the people of Hallownest & understand their father's motives and regrets, giving him far more sympathy and understanding than he deserved. They're a sensitive soul, one that adores children and loves to watch the lives of people from afar, but that protective instinct will lead them to rend others apart and kill without mercy if they have been given leave to do so (or feel that it is necessary to achieve their goal). They are hyperintelligent and excellent at reading body language, but a mix of synthesia, void logic, and their childhood has left them terrible at understanding their own emotions. They have an old soul and a cutting mind that allowed them to learn reading and complex mathematics on their own, but have the anxiety and insecurity of any young adult who's been sheltered for far too long to help themselves. Their patience is outstanding and their temper is long-burning, but once it's been worn thin, there's no going back, and they *will* hold a grudge unless actions are done to mollify them. While young compared to the others, they are an extremely powerful fully-ascended god with an oft-overlooked aspect that has all the territoriality and possessiveness to make deadly use of it. They also inherited their father's depression and complete lack of care for their physical form as long as it keeps their loved ones safe, which means that they are terrifying on the battlefield. They are also aware of how terrifying they are to others, and while they do not enjoy it, they will exploit it if necessary. In terms of hobbies, they have an extreme soft spot for romance novels/plays (despite being aroace), music, burrowing/nesting, caring for their family and people, playfighting, hunting, and meditating, which is often how they align with their aspect and passed the time in the White Palace. Speechwise, they are one of few words, and prefer not to sign, gesture, or write at all if they have to, simply working off of the void and their own body language to engage (if they even do so). Silent, vibrating vocalizations such as rumbling, purring, sigh/huffing, and clacking their mandibles is common. 

Once healed, their body throws them into voracious heat cycles (courtesy of their mom and love for children), but they are terrified of becoming a parent or having children of their own, which makes it a stressful occurrence that they dread, but don't know how to fully get rid of. Post-Radiance, they are prone to having days where they lapse into total inactivity both mentally and physically, requiring external care before they return from the dissociative state they fell into. Chronic pain days are also often a major issue, and while they can technically induce a moult to heal their carapace and regrow their arm, the trauma-pain paired with the feeling that they don't deserve it is what prevents them from doing so. Their relationship with their father is a unique place of hurt, guilt, loss, and love, and should not be touched on. They barely saw the White Lady as a child, and while they long for their mother's approval, they also get the impression that she cannot stand them (due to either grief, hatred, or guilt, and so stays away). They are a god of broken people, and while they are comfortable in this position and accept their prayers, they never, *ever* want to be king. They love both their little sister Hornet and Ghost dearly, and have an absurd amount of guilt over abandoning Ghost in the Abyss, but they still retain the Cain instinct and will bite them if they cause problems, and would give Hornet very disappointed stares or purposeful pokes if she was being rude or unfair. They have a very courtly air and an expectation of mannerly behavior, even if they themselves never got to be called prince.

But that's all my personal interpretations of them, not canon. 

[pokemonperformersam]

PSA not all service Pokémon are Herdier. Please don’t assume poeple are ‘faking’ just because that they have somthing that’s not a Herdier.

[narrativebuilt]

continued from here @the-haunted-office

"Fucking Christ." Percy hissed, straightening himself up. It was just another thing why he hated this part of town, too loud, too many people with their out-of-control piece of shit pets roaming around every corner.

It hadn't been his fault. If the damn dog hadn't barked...if the other guy hadn't walked out in front of him like a lugoon, it wouldn't have happened. He pocketed his phone quickly, inspecting it for any damage. Fortunately, there weren't any cracks or major effects on it. Just as well.

Percy paused, realising the guy was talking...well… Moving his hands rather frantically. It was all mumbo jumbo to him. He grunted, hands working their way into his bag, and pulled out a notebook. Fuck. No pen.

"You can't talk?" A frown." You gotta a..uh, a pen. Pen? You do know what I'm talking about, right? You don't look that dumb."

[fuck-you-official]

Fuck you mom. Fuck you for being a 'friend' instead of a parent. Fuck you for verbally and mentally abusing me. Fuck you for putting your hands on me. Fuck you for using the animals I love as bait to fucking hurt me. Fuck you for breaking my phone, Which I was borrowing from my brother. Fuck you for using me as a tool to cheat by taking me to 'friends' houses when I was 5 through 10. Fuck you for telling me about your afair. Fuck you for being insane. Fuck you for not getting help. Fuck you for making me believe your sanity. Fuck you for convincing me Donald Trump was coming to 'save' us. Fuck you for convincing me my dad was a horrible person. Fuck you for trying to convince me of it again. Fuck you for making me nauseous about anything politic relation. Fuck you for forcing your politics on me my entire life, And fuck you for making me raise my little sister. Fuck you for telling me you'd kill yourself if I went to bed at 5 AM on a school night after you forced me to stay up that late. Fuck you for making all your problems mine. Fuck you for letting me smoke then hurting me and screaming at me bloody murder when a bud went missing because your stupid fucking pothead ass forgot how much you fucking smoked. Fuck you for putting me in constant fear. Fuck you for telling me the government is gonna sex traffic me. Fuck you for making my life a constant fucking movie. Do you know how fucking agonizing it is to wake up and have a normal, Slow boring fucking day after 16.8 years of non-stop insanity and action?! Fuck you for kidnapping me and my siblings and taking us to a different state from our dad. Fuck you for lying about him. Fuck you for putting your hands on my siblings. Fuck you for always treating me like a maid more than family. Fuck you for not killing yourself. Fuck you for doing the opposite of everything we've told you to fucking do. Fuck you for reading emails sent by bots and 'decoding secret messages'. Fuck you for 'finding the truth about google translate'. Fuck you for making me think the earth was flat and that lizard people were gonna fucking eat me. Fuck you for telling me that only now that you've been kicked out of OUR house that you accept me for being gay. Fuck you for only 'loving' me conditionally. Fuck you for telling me you were gonna get arrested and deported for 'hackers' committing 'cyber crimes.' Fuck you for telling me people are gonna burn down our house. Fuck you for telling me I'm gonna get kidnapped. Fuck you for telling me 'I cant even remember it anymore' when I was raped at 5. I fucking remember every detail you piece of fucking shit. Fuck you for acting like my life is below yours. Fuck you for standing over me with your fucking eyes bulging out of your head as you spat on me with your screaming. Fuck you for making me feel fearful for my life around you. Fuck you for giving me your shitty genetics and fuck you for pretending the abuse was never fucking real.

-🍋

.

[kanthony]

just say you killed izzy cause you thought he was in the way

[slytherinlesbians]

Whumptober 2023, Day 26: Working to exhaustion/"You look awful."

fandom: criminal minds | characters: spencer reid (centric), jennifer jareau, david rossi, aaron hotchner | ship: none | trigger warnings: ableism | content: on a case, local officers treat the team badly, dad!hotch, team as a family | word count: 1.7k.

“You look awful,” JJ says seriously, pulling up a chair beside the table Spencer’s working at. 

“Thanks,” he says, pulling a face at her. She doesn’t smile.

“No, seriously, Spence, did you get any rest last night?” 

“A little,” he says, avoiding her gaze and studying the geographical profile in front of him, “but this is more important.” He rubs a tired eye and chews on the end of his pen. 

JJ sighs. He really does look awful, dark purple bags under his eyes and two days worth of stubble littering his chin. He’s wearing his glasses - further proof he didn't sleep last night and forgot to put in his contacts this morning, and he’s got on yesterday's clothes. 

“This case isn’t more important than your well-being,” she says gently. “And you know you work better with sleep and food in your system. When was the last time you ate?”

Spencer shrugs nonchalantly, ignoring most of her words, and pushes himself out from the table, standing up to study the board, frowning. She can see the gears turning in his mind as bounces up and down on the balls of his feet adding up whatever it is in his head that is starting to come together. But she can’t ignore how obviously tense he is, how his fingers tap agitatedly against one another, the permanent frown creased between his eyebrows. How jumpy he’s been. Something is clearly wrong. 

“Come and take a coffee break with me,” she offers, but he shakes his head. 

“I’m okay, thanks.” He doesn’t look at her. She exhales heavily and pushes herself up from the table, re entering the main room the team are using. Hotch and Rossi walk in at the same time as her from the other side of the room. 

“Did Morgan and Emily go take a look at the first crime scene again?” she asks tiredly. 

“Yes,” Hotch says. “Can you two go look at the second one? I think they both need re inspection.” He gestures to both Rossi and JJ, who nod. 

“Where’s Reid?” Hotch asks, frowning.

“Still in there,” she jerks her head towards the breakout room Spencer’s working in. “I couldn’t convince him to take a break.”

Rossi sighs. “Kid’s overcompensating for something,” he says wisely. “Someone’s gotta talk some sense into him before he collapses from exhaustion.”

“I don’t think he’s going to listen,” JJ replies, pursing her lips and wiping a hand across her face tiredly. She’s been growing more and more concerned about Spencer as his behavior has become more self destructive the longer the case continues, and they’ve all approached him without much luck.

“I’ll speak to him soon,” Hotch promises resolutely. “Go look at the Walters house again and let me know what you find. Check in with Garcia, too.” 

JJ and Rossi nod and take their leave. After a moment, Hotch sighs and enters the room Spencer’s in. 

“Reid,” he says, and Spencer jumps about a foot in the air, an expression of fear flitting across his face when his name is said, before he realizes Hotch is the one saying it. Hotch frowns. 

“Hotch!” He attempts to straighten up without much success, and rubs at his eyes as though it’ll get rid of his tiredness. “I think I’ve got something here. Depending on what Morgan and Prentiss find-,”

“Reid,” Hotch says again, more seriously. “I appreciate that this case is important and that we’re running out of time. I would like to hear your theories in a moment. But please,” he gestures to the chairs at the table, “sit down a moment.”

Spencer advances to the table cautiously, like he knows he’s about to be lectured. He all but melts into the chair when he’s there. Hotch takes up the chair next to him, scans him concernedly for a moment, then speaks. 

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” He asks.

Spencer grimaces, and his eyes flick away from contact with Hotch’s. “Nothing’s wrong,” he says. “Why would something be wrong?”

“You’re overcompensating,” Hotch echoes Rossi’s words from earlier, “and for the life of me, I can’t figure out why.”

“I’m not,” Spencer says, rapidly tapping his foot on the floor, “I just want this case to be over.”

“Why?”

“I just-,” Spencer exhales, still not looking at Hotch. It takes him a moment to gather his words. “I really want to go home,” he says finally, in a small voice. This is not what Hotch expects him to say. His eyebrows raise in surprise. 

“Is everything okay? Is your mother alright?” He says quickly, his mind jumping to the worst conclusions possible. Spencer nods, still avoiding Hotch’s gaze. 

“She’s fine. I just, uh. I don’t like it here. Much.” His anxiety is obvious now, his fingers shaking and interlocking and repeating the process, his leg bouncing up and down. 

“I know when you’re not telling me something,” Hotch keeps his voice gentle. “Please, Reid. Spencer. You can talk to me”

Spencer exhales heavily, rubbing at his forehead. 

“I just - you’re just going to make a big deal out of it. And I don’t want that. I just want to prove that I can solve this case and get out of here,” he says, a little bitterly. Hotch’s surprise grows by the second. He reflects on Spencer’s words: ‘I want to prove I can solve this case,’ and something clicks, suddenly. 

“Did someone say something to you?” Hotch says, trying to keep his voice even. “One of the officers?” Small town local officers are always difficult to work with and this bunch have been no exception. They’re often made up vastly of backwards thinking older men, who feel emasculated by the FBI coming in to solve their case for them. He’s already had a few harsh words with one of them after he overheard them using derogatory words to describe Prentiss and JJ. Hotch knows his team can all take care of themselves, but there’s always a risk that Morgan or Prentiss will blow up at them and get in trouble with the Bureau, which he doesn’t want. He’s been careful to keep an eye on his team, but Reid has been glued to the geographical profile while the rest of them have been out in the field, so there have been plenty of chances for one of the officers to have had a chance to say something to him that Hotch hasn’t caught. 

“I don’t know what you mean,” Spencer murmurs, staring at his knees, wrapping his arms around his midriff. 

“Spencer,” is all Hotch says, his voice low. Spencer looks up, finally, and makes eye contact with Hotch, sighing shakily and gives in to whatever has been eating away at him. 

“I know that I’m smart,” he starts. “I know that. It’s an incontrovertible fact. I have an IQ of 187, an eidetic memory and can read 20,000 words per minute. I know I can do things  that no one else can. That’s the beauty of our team. We are all exceptional at different things, it’s why our success rate is so high. But when-,” he inhales shakily, and Hotch’s frown deepens, “but when people who don’t know me meet me they make… assumptions. They only see the things they don’t want to. Like when I stim. Or when I refuse to shake hands with them. These officers,” he gestures vaguely at the door that leads into the main part of the station, “they don’t like people…. like me. I heard them say…” His voice cracks, and he pushes up his glasses, blinking and looking away, clearly unable to go on. 

Hotch’s blood boils. He’s known Spencer for close to six years, knows all of his quirks and needs, is in constant admiration of the work his youngest agent does and the compassionate person he is. Spencer is as much a part of his team - his family - as any of the others. There is nothing he could do or say to change that. The fact that Spencer has been subject to such blatant ableism after so many years of incredible work for the Bureau - hell, even if he’d never worked a day in his life for the Bureau - makes Hotch furious. He swallows down his anger, knowing Spencer doesn’t want him to make a big deal out of whatever it is he’s heard the officers say, and knowing full well he’ll see to it the officers will not get away with it. 

“I’m sorry they said that, Reid,” he says, doing his best to keep the anger out of his voice. “They will not go without consequences, but that’s not for you to worry about now. What I want you to do now is take care of yourself. You have nothing to prove to anyone that cares about you, and those are the only people whose opinions you should care about.” 

“I know,” Spencer mumbles, looking down at his hands, but he doesn’t sound convinced. “They made me feel stupid. I’m not stupid.” 

“No, you’re not,” Hotch agrees. “But I bet you are tired. You’re overworking yourself to prove to them that you’re more than what they say, and I understand why. But you’re not going to be able to keep this up much longer Spencer. You’re hurting yourself.” 

“I know,” Spencer whispers after a pause, looking up. “I’m sorry.” 

“You don’t need to be sorry,” Hotch says firmly. “Those officers are the only ones who need to apologize. Look, I can see that you’ve made several connections here, and the others will be back from the crime scenes soon. I’m going to get you and I some food, and leave you in here for a moment with the blinds closed so you can do whatever it is you need to do to decompress. When the others are back, we’ll talk about what you’ve discovered and if we solve this any time in the next hour or so, you can keep working. You can’t go out into the field in this state, but if we go back out, I will not leave you alone here. Someone will stay. If it looks like we’re going to be here a while longer, you’re going back to the hotel and getting some rest, because I can’t stand seeing you like this,” Hotch says. He doesn’t mean to say the last part aloud, but he does. Spencer’s eyes widen for a moment at the slip in Hotch’s tough facade, then after a moment, he nods. 

“Okay,” he says softly. “Thank you, Hotch. Really.” 

“Of course,” Hotch says, standing up and squeezing Spencer’s shoulder. “Of course.”

[another-whump-sideblog]

Jane’s Pets Chapter 83: Games

TWs in the tags

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Kitty does not like this game.

Jane’s always playing games, and she’s always playing games Kitty doesn’t like. But this one… this one is the worst she’s come up with so far.

She brought someone new home. She calls him Bunny when he’s not around and Liam when he is.

Liam is completely clueless. It’s not his fault, of course, but Kitty wants nothing to do with him. They can’t afford to care about him; if they do, Jane will have one more way to hurt them.

But they can’t just stand by either. So they play the stupid game.

Kitty pulls Liam aside the second day. “You have to leave.” They say. “Get out of here and run and maybe, maybe she won’t follow you. I can’t get away, but you can. You have to go. Anything is better than being here.”

Liam’s eyebrows raise. “Why?”

“She’s not who you think she is. She tortures us. You have to leave.” Kit rolls up their sleeves, showing their scars. “She did this to me. She’ll do this to you if you don’t leave right now.”

Liam’s eyes widen at the scars. “I don’t- Jane said you were paranoid? I guess saying ‘you’re paranoid’ probably doesn’t help you much. But she said you got hurt a lot before you came here. I’m sorry, that sucks.”

“She lies!” Kit grabs him by the shirt and leans in close. “You have to leave. You can’t stay here.”

There is a hand on their shoulder, pushing them away, and it is not Liam’s.

“What’s going on?”

Kitty recoils from her touch and backs away. They’ll be punished for that, but they don’t care.

“I don’t- Kit seems scared, and I don’t know what to do.”

Jane approaches them slowly, as if they’re a spooked animal. Her face is a perfect picture of concern. “Did you take your medicine this morning?”

Kitty ignores her and looks at Liam. “You have to believe me. I can’t- I can’t do this again, you have to leave, maybe you’ll be safe. It’s a better chance than if you stay.”

“You’re safe.” Jane says softly, carefully. “Everything’s okay. You’re not there anymore. You’re safe. Have I ever hurt you?”

“Yes!”

“You’re thinking of someone else. Take a deep breath. It’s all okay.”

Kitty is not more persuasive than Jane, despite being right. But it’s not really a matter of being persuasive. Bunny doesn’t want to believe that this is all a lie, so he won’t. Not without very strong evidence, stronger than the scars all over Kitty and Puppy.

Kitty scowls and turns around, off to their room. If Jane punishes them, they’ll have recent wounds. Maybe that’ll convince him.

—

Kitty and Bunny are putting together a puzzle.

It’s slow work. Both of them are having low energy days, Kitty because Jane’s been more consistent with drugging them and Bunny because his brain has never worked quite right after what Jane did to him. Some days are better than others, but today is a bad energy day for him.

Everything is slow and foggy. Kitty will have to take a nap soon. But for now, they’re enjoying the puzzle, and knowing that Bunny is also having a hard time makes them less frustrated with being slow.

Knowing Bunny is struggling shouldn’t make them feel better, but it does. It’s hard to put into words, but if Bunny is tired and slow and foggy and still himself, Kitty is still themself too. It’s less scary, to think of it that way. They don’t feel like they’re dying, like Jane is killing them. Not now. Maybe later, they always seem to panic as the drug wears off. But for now, everything’s okay.

Kitty is sorting the pieces (by color now, they’ve got the whole outside put together) and Liam is carefully placing them in the puzzle.

There’s no better use of their time. Nothing more worthwhile they could be doing. It’s just this, until Jane decides to hurt them again.

Don’t think about that. They told Bunny not to give up on life, so they can’t give into hopelessness either. Just… do the puzzle. Play the games.

Puppy sits next to them and helps once she’s finished her chores. She’s also having a low energy day, she wasn’t given permission to sleep for the past two nights. She puts together pieces that don’t fit in the bigger picture quite yet.

No one says anything. Kitty likes that they can work together so well without even talking about it. A teamwork learned through trauma and torture, but teamwork nonetheless. They know how to support each other, how to help without getting in the way, how to lighten the burdens the others carry. It’s nice. Kitty didn’t have that kind of closeness with anyone before they met Puppy and Bunny.

It’s not worth the cost. But it’s nice.

—

Jane appears in their room that night, holding a knife.

“Give me your arm.”

Kitty obeys. Jane begins making deep, even slices in their skin. Their eyes water.

“You can cry. I put sleeping pills in Bunny’s dinner. He’s not going to wake up.”

Kitty grits their teeth and says nothing. They’re not going to give her the satisfaction. Maybe if she doesn’t get what she wants, she’ll hurt them worse, and Bun- Liam will have the proof he needs to get out of here.

“You can show him, if you want. Then I’ll say ‘Kit, did you do that to yourself?’ and the next day you’ll be in the basement, and I’ll tell Bunny I took you to the hospital because you tried to hurt yourself again. Understand?”

Kitty nods. Jane digs her fingers into a cut, and Kitty finally cries out.

“Good Kitty. Do you want salt in these cuts, or lemon juice?”

—

Kitty and Bunny are playing Ticket to Ride. Bunny is winning, as always.

“…Kitty? Remember the other day, when you said you wouldn’t mind if your parents died?”

“…yeah?”

“Um, do you want to talk about that? You don’t have to. Just if you want to.”

Kitty draws two cards and sorts them into their hand. “Not much to say.”

But even thinking about their parents makes hot anger bubble in their chest, so that’s not entirely true, is it? “Not that I want to get into now, anyway. I’m… too tired, honestly.”

“That’s fair. You know you can talk to me about anything though, right? At any time.”

“Yeah… and you too. You can talk to me at any time.”

Bunny plays six pink cards, gently places six trains, and adds 15 points to his score. “I just feel like I don’t know that much about you, even though we’re so close. I would trust you with my life, but I don’t even know, like, how many siblings you have.”

“Seven.”

“Wait, really?”

“Yep. Three older, four younger.”

“Geez. I can’t imagine. I was an only child, if you couldn’t tell.”

Kitty laughs. “I could tell.” Honestly, they wouldn’t have been surprised if Bunny had siblings either, but the idea of him as an only child makes sense.

“…Do you miss them?”

Kitty doesn’t really want to get into this right now. “It had already been a while since I’d seen them when Jane took me. None of us were super close. I was kind of… what’s the word? Like, the scapegoat. Jane taught me that, I think, so it might be the wrong word.

“I think a lot of them thought that if I was just good everything would be fine, but… that’s not what my parents are like. There was no pleasing them. At least when I was doing stuff like- like dying my hair orange, they weren’t freaking out about smaller stuff.”

“Yikes.”

“…Yeah. I do wonder what my siblings are like, now. It’s been so long. I’m… never going to see them again…” Kitty’s cards fall from their hands. They’re never going to know what happened to them. If they got out of there. Kitty’ll never know.

“Don’t say that. You don’t know for sure.”

They do. But… they don’t want to have that conversation with Bunny yet. He can keep hoping, so long as he doesn’t do something stupid.

“I…I’m going to go take a nap.”

Kitty drags themself to their room and passes out on their bed.

—

“If you’re so scared of me, why are you still here? You can leave. I won’t stop you.”

Kitty got caught trying to get Liam to leave again. Even knowing who Jane really is, Kitty can’t detect any malice in her words. She’s a good little actor. She’s had lots and lots of practice, Kitty’s sure.

“Do you want to leave?”

Kitty wishes they could say that they thought their answer through, and decided strategically. But the truth is that they’ve played the escape game too many times to still see escape as a possibility. They’ve lost too many people to still see escape as a possibility.

“I don’t want to leave.” They say, before they can even think.

Jane doesn’t give a smug smile or gloat. She looks genuinely relieved.

“Then I want to do everything I can to help. What can I do, to make you feel safe?”

“Stay away from me. Leave me alone. That’ll help me feel safe.”

She can’t really say no to that and maintain her facade. She smiles sadly. “If that’s what you want.”

Jane vanishes. Kitty scowls at Liam. “She’s not going to keep that up for long. You need to fucking leave.”

—

Kitty drops a handful of dice. They’re supposed to pick which dice to re-roll, pick which combination to aim for, but…

Tears are sliding down their face. When did that start happening? They stare at their hands. Something- something’s crawling on them-

“Kitty? What’s wrong?”

“I- I can’t- I can’t think!” Can’t think and there are things too small to see crawling on their hands and they’re never going to be allowed to think again because they’re bad bad bad bad-

“I know that’s hard. Maybe you’ll feel better if you take a nap?”

“I’m never going to feel better, I’m never- I’m never going to be good enough-“

Bunny reaches out to them, then changes his mind at the last minute. “What brought this up?”

“I don’t- I don’t know!” Kitty squeezes their arms and sobs. “I don’t! I don’t know why I’m like this! It’s so easy for everyone else but I just /can’t/ and it’s never going to change, and you’ll get hurt over and over and over because I can’t follow simple rules- I’m not built for this! What’s she going to do to me when she realizes I’m still bad while she has me drugged!? Bunny, what’s happening, when’s it going to stop, Liam, please-“

Bunny goes rigid. Fuck. Kitty messed it all up again, Bunny is going to get punished and Kitty is going to get punished and they’ll never be able to think clearly again-

“What’s happening to me!?” They scream. Crawling, crawling all over them, what’s crawling on them, why won’t it stop?? She’s going to kill me! She’s going to kill me when she realizes I’m too broken to be good, I can’t, I can’t! I’m worthless! She’s going to kill me!”

“Just- just breathe. Follow my breathing.”

Bunny tries to demonstrate taking slow, deep breaths, but he’s obviously struggling. Kitty’s fault. Kitty’s fault because they’re bad bad bad worthless worthless worthless can’t do anything right-

“Would it help if I touched you, or would that make it worse?”

“I don’t know!”

“Okay, okay. So, take some deep breaths. I think Jane gave you something different this time. So you feel scared instead of tired. Or scared and tired. Does that make sense?”

Kitty nods. It does help, to think of the fear as something in their body, something drug-induced. They’re not sure why. They’re able to even out their breathing a bit.

“You’re not worthless or bad or any of that stuff, okay?”

Kitty groans and rocks back and forth. “Bunny, there are things crawling on me, get them off, please? Please, Bunny, I’ve been good, right?”

“…Yes. Yes, you’re good, you’re doing great. There’s nothing crawling on you. You’re hallucinating.”

Kitty shrieks and starts scratching at their arms, their neck, their face. “You think I’m crazy again! You’re not listening, you never listen! I’m not crazy!”

“You’re not, you’re not. Deep breaths. I… don’t see anything crawling on you. That doesn’t necessarily mean you’re hallucinating, but that combined with you being drugged made me think it seemed the most likely. Does that make sense?”

“They’re too small to see! You never listen to me, never never never, you hate me! You wish Jane would fix me but she can’t! I’m unfixable, I’m defective-“

Blood is under their nails. That’s bad, that’s very bad, Jane doesn’t like other people to damage her property! But Kitty can’t stop clawing at themself.

“I don’t hate you. Wait, Puppy-“

Kitty didn’t see that Puppy had joined them. She grabs their arms from behind them and holds their arms apart so they can’t keep scratching themself.

“I don’t think that’s necessary, you’re just going to make them more scared. Puppy?”

Puppy does not let go. Kitty writhes in her arms. “Get off me! Get off me, you hate me, you want me dead, don’t touch me!”

“Puppy, let go of them! You’re making this worse!”

Puppy does not let go. Bunny does not try to pry her off them.

“Okay, okay, we’ll figure this out- shit, Kitty, can you tell me- no, that won’t work if you’re hallucinating- can you try to empty your lungs completely before taking another breath?”

Kitty tries. Their panting slows down a bit.

“There- there we go. You’re okay. In… and out. In… and out.”

Kitty has more luck following his breathing, this time. When they’ve calmed down enough to stop struggling, Puppy lets them go.

“Okay. How are you feeling? I want to get you bandaged up and see if you can nap through until the drug wears off, what do you think?”

Kitty mumbles something. Even they aren’t sure what.

Bunny bandages up their scratches and cleans the blood out from under their nails. He has them drink some water and eat a granola bar, then he takes them to their room and lies down with them on their bed.

“I promised- I promised myself I wouldn’t let anyone else get in my head-“ Kitty’s been rambling for a while, and Bunny has stopped responding. Kitty thinks he’s listening, though.

“They made me feel guilty for everything- everything I said and didn’t say, everything I did and didn’t do, everything I thought and didn’t think, felt and didn’t feel, even what I dreamed and didn’t dream about. I promised myself I would never let anyone do that to me again, but now Jane’s in my head and I can’t get her out, I want her out!

“I escaped one cult just to get kidnapped into another, worse cult, Bunny… what’s happening to me?”

“She drugged you. Do you think you can get to sleep?”

“My heart’s beating too fast- she’s in my head, I can’t sleep-“

“Would it help if I read to you?”

“…yes.”

Bunny finds a book on the floor of their room and opens it to the first page. He only gets a few sentences in before Kitty can’t stop rambling again.

“Do you hate me?”

“I don’t hate you.”

“Do you wish I was just good, so you didn’t have to get hurt?”

“I like you just the way you are. I don’t think you’re worthless.”

Tears stream down Kitty’s face. “Why is my heart beating so fast? It hurts, Bunny, there’s something crawling on me-“

“Just listen to me read, okay? The drugs will wear off.”

Kitty sobs. “And then she’ll give me more!”

Bunny doesn’t answer. Just reads from the book.

Kitty hates Jane and her fucking games.

A/N: Let me know if I should tag anything else!

Tag list: @eatyourdamnpears @whump-in-the-closet @scp-1296 @fuzzybucketz @quins-whump-stuff

[sigs-gurney]

TW: Abelism, gaslighting

Rant time.

So a coworker called me “r*****ed” at work today. He’s been consistently trying to push my buttons and trigger me ever since he heard me say I was autistic, but today he finally called me the r-word. Not to my face ofc, but to my manager behind my back.

Today when we were closing we agreed that he’d put up chairs, but he tried to leave before he did the one thing he was supposed to, which I asked him to because I have kidney pain that prevents me from lifting the chairs myself. When the manager on duty asked him what he was doing, he told him that his ride was here and he had said as much to me, and that I was cool with it. I told him, “no, that is not what you said.” And he tried arguing with me. Before I fully shut down and went non-verbal I managed to say, “you can say what you want, but you did not say that, and I’m not putting up with that gaslighting bullshit” and walked away and hid in the cooler. And when I did so, he said to the manager (which the manager told me later when getting my side of the story),

“Bro, why is she so fucking r*?”

And did the hand to chest thing to emphasize the r-word.

Luckily this guy has this delusion that everyone is naturally on his side, even though he is a notorious liar and either doesn’t show up for his shift or leaves early without asking, so he thought it was cool to say this to my manager. This manager is only a shift lead so he can’t actually fire him himself, but now the two GMs have no excuse not to fire him.

When this guy heard that for the first time he asked me “are you r*?” And when I said “no I’m autistic”, he just said, “so are you r*?” He’s also tried to trick me into saying slurs and insults me to try and get me to react. He makes fun of me when I stim by dancing or counting things, and when I call him out he frames it as “curiosity”. Which it clearly is not and has never been. My manager agrees with me when I say he knows full well what he is doing, as he has always managed to stop himself before saying anything directly offensive. Until today.

I know that my manager has been trying to get this guy fired for a while. Basically everyone hates him for one reason or another, but the GMs don’t want to deal with the emotional baggage of firing someone because they are genuinely nice people. But now they have to pick between a stupid high school fuck boy and an autistic adult female who many a customer I’ve interacted with has made positive notes to said GMs; because if they don’t either fire him or change his schedule, I will just not show up when I have to work with him or fucking quit.

Because like I said, I’m not putting up with gaslighting bullshit.

[mikewheelerfan2022]

Retard

That is an extremely ableist word. You are disgusting.

[0luna123]

Heck it, Funger Termina Self-insert

Name: Petra

Other names: Deaf girl, Weaver

Age: 20

Soul: restless soul. Has to be constantly moving or doing something. Staying/sitting still is considered torment for her. Even a restful sleep can be a problem

Lore: struggling with hearing since birth, Petra from Eastern Europa came to Prehevil looking for a job more welcoming for "defective" people, either in physical labor or as a seamstress

Abilities and skills: giving her a piece of cloth, toilet paper, or an herb, she can quickly turn it into a unit of rope

Due to relying on her eyes most of her life, she can see better in the dark than others. But can only see in shades of gray, and her mind is still affected without a source of light

Petra can only hear as half as good as others, and what she can hear is muffled. She comes with a pair of hearing aids which help with the problem, but they take up an accessory/head slot. There's a visual with hearing aids equipped

Starting items: A metal 3mm crochet hook, a stabbing weapon with moderate damage and has a chance of giving bleed.

White shirt

A pair of jeans

Worn out shoes

A pair of hearing aids

As an NPC: Can be found somewhere outside the train, working on her own project, oblivious to the player. There are two options of getting her attention: Touching her or waving your hand near her face

If touched, startling her triggers a cointoss. When failed, a fight is triggered, where you can either apologize or kill her. In a successful toss, she just slaps you and no HP is lost Waving also startles her, but there is no slapping

If both survived the encounter, she apologizes for attacking you (if you chose to touch her) and explains her condition. Finding her hearing aids gives you a chance to recruit her. If not recruited, she can be either seen pacing around Prehevil, or trying to climb a house or a tree, looking for a sign of non-hostile life or a weak attempt to hide

Not very religious

Moonscorched: Defect Her hunched body appears normal and the joints on her hands are very pronounced and posed in a way a seamstress works on their sewing machine. Eyes are bulging and milky and her ears are bleeding. Appears to be blind. Attempting to talk won't help either, as she's completely deaf. Appears to be in severe distress and she struggles to breathe. Still appears to be capable of talking, although the way of speech is weirder than before and sounds more like muttering

It comes from her assumptions that because she's HoH, she will always be useless, despite the fact the rest of her body is still capable of work. The blindness of her moonscorched form comes from the fear of losing her eyesight