#ableism

[transfaguette]

i just gotta have my weekly “i am frustrated w employed people” moment. because i just feel so isolated in every conversation, i feel envious of their income and ability to live an independent life and buy things. if thats u I truly do need you to recognize and be conscientious of the fact that even though there is much wrong with the environment and expectations of employment, still that it is a privilege to be able to participate in it, because it means you at least have that base level of worth to society so that you can participate in it as designed. ppl like me cannot.

[quitblamingnarcissism]

"I can say whatever I want about my abuser. If they don't like what I'm saying, they shouldn't have abused me."

Yeah. Your abuser. Not an entire demographic who had nothing to do with it.

Feel free to call your abuser a monster, a douchebag, an asshole, a piece of shit, or any other insult you can think of. You can even wish they would die if their abuse was bad enough.

But when you call your abuser's actions "what narcissists do", you're not just demonizing your abuser. You're demonizing people who never did anything to you.

On top of that, you're giving a free pass to those who have the same patterns as your abuser but have the privilege of being able to do it in a way that society considers normal. For everything your "narcissist" did to you, there are many similar patterns that society normalizes on a regular basis.

[crippled-peeper]

I really used to love your blog, but you are being incredibly hostile to people who want to learn and you are assuming people mean to be malicious. As a disabled person, I totally get it. In a sense, pretty much anything that isn't a specifically disabled space (and even sometimes those as well) ARE hostile to disabled people and create tons of barriers that make it difficult just to survive and exist. I understand your frustration, I understand that it is something you desperately need to express. But at some point, it becomes better for you to let the opinions of others go or to try and shift your mindset that not everyone is out to attack you. By all means, block whoever you want to block, express yourself however you want to express yourself. But as a fellow disabled person, I no longer can relate to or find comfort in your posts. Most of which as of lately are FILLED with hostility and are incredibly defensive (which again, I TOTALLY understand.) I only send this ask to wish the best for you. I hope that you can find some place that feels safe, some place and people who accommodate and take care of you. I hope that you can believe in a future where people truly want to help and learn. And I hope that the hate in your heart does not continue to grow. Hating the world does not keep you safe from it. You do not need to bring hostility to the world, the way it seems to do for you. I wish for you to feel safe enough to have an open heart and find happiness as a disabled person.

Hey. I just want you to know that I don’t care like not even slightly. Please unfollow me, in fact block me. I have no patience for this manipulative bullshit.

I’m going to die some day (probably sooner rather than later) and I don’t exist to suck your toes and jack you off while you constantly question my humanity and my right to have the most basic human comforts

Maybe you should work on why you see other disabled human beings (who have feelings, btw!) as living Wikipedia pages who should calmly and joyously educate you while you say stupid shit to them, repeatedly, and without a single care about how it makes them feel.

I know you thought it would be, but my self worth is not located in the approval of random people who don’t even have the balls to come off anon and talk to me.

Farewell, bucko.

[pet-shop-of-horror-fan]

Me: Using disabilities and symptoms of disabilities as insults or as setup and punchline to jokes is ableist.

My Comments: You can't say that because you don't have every disability ever, which means you are speaking over other disabled people. Also, you can't say that about the disabilities that you have because I assume people without your disabilities disagree with you. And I would know as I smelled a disabled person just like you once. This means that my non-argument proves that I am better than you. Checkmate, snowflake.

[radioactive-earthshine]

I get that some of you just think it's cute to have Bart Allen being uncharacteristically ignorant and naive about mature themes (even swearing) to the point of making him infantile, and you are genuinely not intending to be ableist, and are not intending to perpetuate that neurodiverse characters are infantile or participate in widespread ableist commentary surrounding people who are neurodiverse - but it is ableism.

It's not cute, it does nothing for anyone, you do not need to do this to prop up a ship that is already sailing, and there is no basis for this in ANY canon.

[oceanfossil]

okay they blocked me but i just want to say it's obvious that autistic people who "reclaim" the r slur while using it to insult people they dislike clearly have zero interest in respecting and building solidarity with intellectually disabled people or acknowledging the severity of the oppression that they face, and it's sad to see. autistics with lower support needs are once again dominating the conversation on a word that has been historically harmful to (primarily) individuals with ID. that's all i'm going to say on the matter can we be normal please

[ineffectualdemon]

If you read "loudly" "noticeably" or "visibly" mentally ill and assume that equals being a problem for other people...

Then you're part of the problem

Unless you're mentally ill and struggling to get treatment you don't realise how much support is determined by how much you are a problem for other people

I have hallucinations and delusions but because they don't cause problems for other people I get told they aren't a problem and get no support from mental health services for it

Doesn't matter that it's scaring or upsetting me or causing me to hurt myself as long as I'm not making a problem for other people

Our treatment is not about us it's about making us more palatable for others and that means us being noticeably mentally ill even if we are no risk to anyone else or causing any harm in anyway is considered "bad"

And I'm fucking sick of it

I show distress in public and have a panic attack or meltdown and cause a scene - that's a problem even though I'm not hurting anyone and am just communicating my distress. Because it's bothering others

But quietly think I'm chosen by god to suffer for humanity which causes me to not talk about my pain and be secretive about any harm I cause to myself because telling people is a sin? - that's not a "real" delusion or problem because I didn't upset anyone else during my episode because I didn't tell them those thoughts during it. Even though it's causing me real harm and I want help to stop it from happening again

Do you see how fucked up that is?

[schizopositivity]

Hi, sorry for bothering you. Could you explain the "grippy socks" phenomenon thing? I have tried looking it up but the only thing I found were actual socks so I think I'm missing some context.

It's an online term that refers to the type of socks they give you in psychiatric hospitals (with the rubbery bottoms to prevent slipping on the hard floors). This goes over the origin of this as a meme:

But with that has come plenty of sanist memes as the socks are a visual representation of people who have been in psychiatric facilities, and will use "grippy socks" and terms like "crazy" interchangeably. People also try to make it cute sounding by calling a stay at a psych ward a "grippy sock vacation", belittling what the experience is actually like for a lot of people. The meme has also been used to restate the old, misogynistic "joke" that "crazy girls are better at sex" with the new saying "grippy socks, grippy box" (eww). It's also worth noting that a lot of people using this phrase in memes haven't actually been to a psych ward themselves, they use it to describe their mental state like "I'm afraid to be too honest with my therapist, I'm afraid they'll put me in grippy sock jail". Which is a little frustrating as someone who has had psych ward stays, it's weird to see people use it to describe themselves when they haven't actually had to go.

[drowninkystar]

idk who needs to hear this but many high masking autistics don't want to be told they're good at masking or "no one can tell ur autistic" as a compliment bc it reinforces the need to mask in order to be accepted socially (of course there are exceptions to this and not all autistics will agree)

growing up i was told so many times "u do a great job at appearing 'normal'" and let me tell u that made me feel incredibly insecure of unmasking in public (i have also been told "ur autism is showing" as a way for someone to tell me that i should 'put the mask back on', which is also very hurtful)

to this day im scared that ppl will not like me if im more "visibly autistic" so i oftentimes mask more than i'd like (which leads to difficulty forming real connections as well as burn out and anxiety)

(it's also ableist to say that not seeming autistic is a good thing bc that implies that autism is an insult or something to be ashamed of)

[alostlittleriverlotus]

Oh yeah make sure neglected people get love until that neglected person is a fucking narcissist. Cause all narcissists are bad. Everything I do is intentionally manipulative or maybe they'll say I'm not actually a narcissist and are just confused or supporting them cause I've been made to feel guilty. I've been on both sides. People will believe I'm a narcissist and so therefore I'm abusive or people will not believe I'm a narcissist cause I'm too nice and just getting caught up in narcissists manipulating me to support them.

I hate the idea that my self image is not by my choice. I will always be what OTHERS perceive me as. I have always been that and it will continue to be that. People will either see someone that can't do any wrong or someone that can only do wrong. Like stfu I am a person! I can do good and bad! I have a past of being toxic and harmful esp as a teenager cause I was a fucking mentally fucked teen still in an abusive situation.

I just. I dunno. Im waiting on food so I'm very like just ranty about everything and anything. But like. Stfu. Stfu stfu stfu stfu stfu. If anyone else is needy and needs attention or reassurance then it's fine. But I have had it demonized since my fucking childhood and had my fucking meltdowns demonized as being intentionally manipulative!!! I WAS A FIVE YEAR OLD AUTISTIC CHILD STFU!!!!!

And people praising empathy as being good piss me off. Cause you know what else can also have hypoempathy? AUTISM. Low empathy is not just an "evil" personality disorder thing. Anyone can be anywhere on the scale of empathy. And it doesn't fucking matter. And anyone can be capable of good or bad. It has literally nothing to do with narcissism or any disorder.

Like wtf are anti narcissists gonna fucking do when they realize theyve done harm??? Cause you know what being someone believing in narc abuse did to me?! It made me believe that i was justified as a victim of narcissists so therefore I couldn't be wrong in my trauma responses.

Yeah. Accepting im a narcissist did way more for helping my relationships by allowing me to understand and communicate my needs than believing in narc abuse and calling my parents narcissists ever fucking did. Wtf are they gonna do when they're told about the harm they've done??? Not even related to narc abuse. I would have horrible episodes and defended myself cause I wasn't like my abusive "narcissistic" parents. And all it did was lead to more fights and more episodes and my friend couldn't help cause they were dealing with trauma responses too (people pleasing, believing it was okay what I did or that she deserved it even when I told her not to say or believe that, it's a very lengthy explanation required thing.)

Anyone and everyone is capable of good and bad and is capable of harming others. Whether it's full on abuse, even worse things, or just being insensitive and thoughtless. Focusing so much on the big bad narcissists will only continue to focus on this "us vs them" mentality that completely negates any sort of nuance and ignores the fact that harmful people, abusers, and even the worst of humanity is ALLOWED by society. It isn't a prevalence of narcissists, it is fucking bigotry. And it is everywhere. And it allows abuse to be normalized.

Big list of things I been thinking on. Fuck fuck fuck. I'm already fucking stressed and my parents won't stfu so I can think and type. Disorganized speech, semiverbal, can't thinky think.

[quitblamingnarcissism]

"Narcissists shouldn't be allowed to have children."

There's no reason for a statement like that.

If you're worried about narcissists abusing children, just say what actions you're worried about narcissists doing and say that people who do those actions shouldn't be allowed to have children. For example,

Those who want power over their children and no accountability shouldn't be allowed to have children.

Those who see their children as property and not as people shouldn't be allowed to have children.

Those who think it's ever okay to hit their children shouldn't be allowed to have children.

Those who destroy their children's belongings shouldn't be allowed to have children.

Those who believe in "as long as you live under my roof you will follow my rules" shouldn't be allowed to have children.

Those who believe in "I buy things for you so you owe me" shouldn't be allowed to have children.

Those who can't handle criticism from their children shouldn't be allowed to have children.

Those who can't handle their children not conforming to their expectations shouldn't be allowed to have children.

Those who care more about how their children make them look than about their children's well being shouldn't be allowed to have children.

Of course, you won't do that, because that would apply to neurotypical parents who do those things all the fucking time. You don't actually want to protect children from abuse. You only want to single out narcissists while giving typical authoritarian parents a free pass.

[crippled-peeper]

“actually it’s perfectly ok for people to make slime toys out of the water you need to drink. why? because I might need it 20 years from now, obviously. stop being a piece of shit to people who want you to literally go without drinking water, you ugly disgusting meanie cripple!!!! you’re hurting Future Me by being mean to these people shrieking ableist horseshit at you!!!!!! help!!!! help!!!! help!!!!”

[trafficblr-confessions]

Hate the underlying abelism that fans have towards Scar. As a physically disabled fan it's just like. Ew. I started seeing more hate for secret life after Scar won. And he gets death threats a lot (same goes with the misogyny but that talked about A LOT). Grian has to remind everyone everytime (even in hermitcraft. Yeah. The PG kid-aimed sever) not to send death threats to the other side. And that side is often Scar.

Also, ppl just straight up refuse to learn how to draw mobility aids (especially Wheelchairs). Apparently its not 'realistic enough' to be in the life series. But a guy about 2'0 with parrot wings is. Okay.

.

[a-little-revolution]

If someone wanted to make a remake of wizard of oz or willy wonka or snow white and the seven dwarves, what would you say would be the best way to fix the stereotypical depictions of magical or inhuman little people? Would it be to just make them Not little people anymore, make them another creature, or to make them like, people with dwarfism? I've heard some ppl bring up the idea of having dwarves in snow white be actual in-world little people as opposed to a mythical race of 'dwarves', but it seems that would carry its own problematic connotations to extend that to what is clearly a race (munchkins) or a pseudo enslaved/servant populace (oompa loompas) would it be better to just remove these characters entirely or have their roles reprised by non-little people? On the one hand, it seems that many of them do not need to be little people, but on the other hand it seems a shame to remove roles for little people.

(i kind of feel oompa loompas are a bit hard to make work at all given they are explicitely black slaves in the original and clearly carry a sort of enslaved populace connotation in most adaptations, but I'm legitimately curious about munchkins, whose size doesn't seem to matter very much in most stories.)

Hello! My answer is to simply stop retelling these stories. The very fact that we hold onto them so dearly when they're as harmful as they are is a huge problem. We need new stories! Depicting real, complex dwarfism. We need a wide range of disabled characters and better representation for little people - and Snow White is not going to be who saves us. Fixing these stores will not undo the harm they've done. We need to leave them behind and write better pieces.

And we as consumers have done that with so many other pieces of media. We've discovered that they're harmful to a certain group, no longer supported it, and moved on. So why not with little people? Why can't folks give us the same respect?

If you can understand that the oompa loompas are problematic because they were based off black slaves, you can also understand that they were problematic because they were dwarf slaves. The two intersect in the films, and they shouldn't be so beloved in my opinion.

And the answer is not to just recreate these stories without us in them - they were built on our backs and that is their legacy. Sweeping it under the rug wouldn't change the decades of harm they've done and the oppression they're a result of.

Just 👏 stop 👏 making 👏 more 👏 of 👏 them

Leave them behind and make better pieces with LP characters!!! Make them complex and loved and diverse and human!!!