#about me 2k23

[blackbird-brewster]

Shoutout to disabled babes who need to use accessibility aids during sex. Like sure, my wrist splints and knee brace aren't that 'sexy' looking, but I guarantee they'll help in my ability to fuck you senseless.

[nonbinary-taralewis]

list 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you. learn to know your mutuals and followers.♡

Ohhhh! Thanks!

Five Things That Make Me Happy:

My incredible partner

Squishmallows! (we have about 300+ of them)

Music -- I'm always listening to music. Lately I've been jamming to Megan Thee Stallion, Lizzo, and Xana

My cat, Mist! or Mistopher Robin

Fidget toys! Couldn't live without them. I love Tangles, Needoh, Thinking Putty and Fidget Cubes

[thevioletcaptain]

i genuinely don't care how good a piece of ai generated art or writing looks on the surface. i don't care if it emulates brush strokes and metaphor in a way indistinguishable from those created by a person.

it is not the product of thoughtful creation. it offers no insights into the creator's life or viewpoint. it has no connection to a moment in time or a place or an attitude. it has no perspective. it has no value.

it's empty, it's hollow, and it exists only to generate clicks (and by extension, ad revenue.)

it's just another revolting symptom of the disease that is late stage capitalism, and it fucking sucks.

[gay-mafia-stickball]

Those clever sons of bitches

[copper-skulls]

yeehawgust 28: gunsmoke

THAT'S HIM!! THE GUY!! HE'S GUNSMOKE

Gaster aka Gunsmoke from @silverskye13 's undertale western AU fic, A Good Ol' Fashioned Hell-Raising! feat. blaster blaster blasters blasters bl

this was an absolute blast(GET IT) to work on, gosh

hd sneks

[buckybarnesss]

The "we need a real alpha" post makes wonder how that conversation could be in a omegaverse, how they ended having that conversation of Scott's disfuntional alphaness, and that Stiles comment implies he wants Derek 🙊

i mean.....is this not what happened? eli was born somehow ya know?

[defeateddetectives]

if you play the opening wrong, the game is already lost.

[tickles-tea]

Testing Virtues

I know I’m cutting it extremely close but the day isn’t over yet! Anyway, without further ado, merry belated Christmas to @happyandticklish !! In a very funny turn of events, I ended up being your secret Santa for Squealing Santa 2023 ^^ I hope you enjoy this fic of Izaya fucking around and finding out ~ Also, a big thank you to @hypahticklish / @squealing-santa for hosting the event!!

Summary: After realizing that Shizuo is in a rather affectionate mood, Izaya decides to put his patience to the test. Word count: 2.8k

Shizuo Heiwajima could be a difficult man to read.

Despite how clearly he expressed his rage, it could be tricky to read between the lines of his surprisingly aloof resting face. Whether he was perfectly content or one second away from snapping, one could never guess.

At least, that’s what Izaya used to think.

After what he would reluctantly call ‘dating’ the man for several years now, Izaya could decipher his expressions with the ease of someone who had dedicated their life to the art. These little tells were so clear to him now, he couldn’t believe that he’d been completely oblivious to them in the past.

Like how Shizuo’s honey-gold eyes would light up with a childlike spark whenever they’d pass by a pastry shop. His lips were unmoving but his desires were spoken loud and clear. It was without a word from Shizuo that Izaya would lead them into the shop with teases already loaded on his tongue.

And when Shizuo’s shoulders hunched tight with tension-the line of them more solid than the stop signs he crushed beneath his fists- Izaya knew to keep his jabs light but deliberate. It was a bit of a balancing act, teetering between slightly bothersome and truly irritating. However, it was worth watching that harsh line ease whenever a particularly crude quip caught Shizuo off guard enough to make him laugh.

Izaya could always tell what Shizuo was feeling or wanting or needing.

But he wasn’t always generous enough to give it to him. Not without making him put in the work first.

When Izaya awoke to warm kisses being pressed to his neck and fingers creeping up his shirt with fluttery touches, he knew what kind of day it would be. 

It was the hesitation that gave it away, really; the slow progression, as if waiting for permission when they were both far past the point of being shy.

This particular mood didn’t strike Shizuo often, but it was always fun when it did. 

Izaya did nothing to dissuade him, and Shizuo’s touches grew more deliberate with increasing confidence the longer Izaya didn’t protest. A grin pulled at Izaya’s lips, but it had little to do with the hands that lightly tickled at his waist. Because as soon as it started, Izaya was sitting up and away, stretching his arms above his head with a groan. He turned to look down at his bed partner with a sleep-heavy smirk. “It’s not like Shizu-chan to be up so early. I don’t suppose you wanted to join in on my meeting this morning?”

Shizuo blinked away the drowsy confusion at the abrupt shift, now scrunching his nose with distaste as he registered Izaya’s words. “Don’t say stupid things…” He grumbled, a frustrated crease in his brow. He waited for a beat, and when Izaya only stared back at him with a knowing smile, he clicked his tongue in annoyance. “Can’t you stay in bed a little longer? I thought you said that wasn’t until ten.”

Even though Izaya was sure it was meant to be a frown, the unhappy twist of Shizuo’s lips could only be described as a pout.

“The early bird gets the worm and all that. We can't all afford to sleep in, you know?” Izaya chirped back, keeping the banter light despite the intentions already solidifying in his mind. “If you want to stay in bed though, be my guest. I can wake you up once my client’s gone.”

It was a simple offer but Shizuo still took his time answering. He looked at Izaya for a long few moments, lips pursed on indecision and his hands still resting idle on Izaya’s waist, before he let out a resigned breath through his nose and pulled his hands away. “Mm, yeah, that’s fine.”

And though he nuzzled back into the pillow and closed his eyes without any more complaints, Izaya didn’t miss the way his restless hands twitched with restraint.

-

True to his word, Izaya woke Shizuo up a few hours later once his client had left with a heavier heart and lighter pockets. He hadn’t spared too much time on the task of waking him; only ducking into the bedroom with a drawled out “Shizuuuu-chaaan~” and tossing an apple at his head when he didn’t stir. It wasn’t the first time he’d done it and it wouldn’t be the last, but Izaya still couldn’t help but snicker when Shizuo exited the room a few minutes later with the half eaten apple in hand.

Izaya watched as Shizuo finished it off in a few bites and threw away the core before immediately making his way over to Izaya’s desk. Strong arms wrapped around his waist from behind as Shizuo leaned in to kiss the crook of his neck. “Good mornin’,” he rumbled, breath hot against Izaya’s skin.

“It’s noon, Shizu-chan.”

Shizuo grumbled in mild annoyance. “Then good afternoon, you pest.”

He squeezed Izaya slightly to punctuate his words. However, his groused frustration was countered by those gentle fingers tapping at Izaya’s sides again. And just as before, they were light, questioning. “You busy?”

Not even the rough edge of sleep still clinging to his voice could conceal the quiet hopefulness behind his words. 

He ghosted fluttery kisses along the line of Izaya’s throat to spread goosebumps across his skin- once again testing the waters. 

And once again Izaya grinned.

“Oh~ What’s this? Did Shizu-chan need me for something?” Izaya questioned in a playful drawl, tensing beneath Shizuo’s touch. He traced mindless shapes on Izaya’s sides, veering closer to his belly to scrape the ghost of his fingernails over the sensitive skin. It took an impressive amount of restraint for Izaya to not react to the ticklish shivers that ran through his nerves.

“Izaya…” he started, shifting to murmur into Izaya’s ear to make him twitch. “C-“

He barely had a second to begin before Izaya was interrupting to answer his own question.

“-because I’m afraid I don’t have time to spare right now,” he clarified, spinning in his chair to face him and knocking his hands away in the process. The sigh in his voice was just subtle enough to pass as truly apologetic. At least somewhat. “Can it wait?”

Tipping his head up to meet Shizuo’s eyes, Izaya was met with an expression he knew well. Thick brows furrowed on growing frustration and a troubled twist to his lips because he couldn’t find a reason to be truly upset. A rarity for Shizuo, but even he could respect when someone was busy. 

He didn’t need to know that Izaya had just been playing sudoku before he walked in. It was his fault, really, for being fooled by the random document Izaya had pulled up at the last second. 

With another one of those pouty scowls, Shizuo gently knocked his forehead against Izaya’s.

“Later.”

It was a question despite bearing the bluntness of a statement.

“Later~”

-

Judging by the restless padding of feet across the hardwood floor and the too long-stares sent his way, Izaya knew that ‘later’ couldn’t come soon enough for Shizuo. 

He wasn’t exactly known for his patience and Izaya hadn’t exactly been making it easier on him. But that’s what was fun about these kinds of days, and who could blame him when Shizuo had such entertaining reactions? 

It was amusing to watch Shizuo clench his fists at his sides when Izaya stretched, raising his arms high above his head with a pleased groan as if he was oblivious to Shizuo’s plight. 

He’d nearly choked on his glass of milk when Izaya reached for a book on a high shelf, which caused his shirt -untucked for once- to raise and reveal a sliver of his belly. When Izaya had turned to look at him, Shizuo was staring resolutely at the ceiling as he chugged the rest of the glass.

It was terribly endearing when Shizuo thought he was being discreet. However, there was nothing subtle about how tightly his jaw was clenched when Izaya had him fetch a glass of water for the ‘tickle in his throat’.

Perhaps Izaya would feel more guilty about riling Shizuo up when he was asking for what he wanted so sweetly, but it was just too easy.

Izaya was an opportunist at heart, after all.

-

This secret game of his continued for another two hours, with Izaya coming up with new and subtle ways to drive Shizuo mad. Izaya was honestly impressed with how well Shizuo was holding up, but all things must come to an end, and Shizuo’s streak of patience was no exception. 

His breaking point came when Izaya settled into his chair, picked up a stack of documents, and kicked his feet up onto the desk. It must have been that it was so uncharacteristic of Izaya to ‘rest’ in such a vulnerable position that Shizuo was tipped off to Izaya’s scheming. Or perhaps it was pure coincidence that his fuse happened to burn out at that moment. Either way, Izaya wasn’t too upset when Shizuo shot up from the couch and stomped over to his desk with red-tipped ears and a snarl.

“Oi, what’s up with that pose, huh?” Shizuo growled, leaning far over the desk to meet Izaya face to face. His arms were tense with restless energy where they held his weight against the desk, bracing on either side of Izaya’s legs. 

Izaya smiled pleasantly at him. “Hm? Aren’t I allowed to be comfortable while I work?”

Shizuo glared down at him- and if looks could kill, Izaya would be six feet under. 

“You look a little too comfortable, if you ask me. Just how busy have you been, really?”

A strong hand wrapped around one of his ankles, and Izaya had to resist the urge to jerk his foot back on instinct. “Quite busy. You see, today I’m conducting an observational experiment of sorts. I suppose you could call it testing a beast’s ability to restrain itself and its needs in the face of temptation. Riveting stuff~”

Shizuo bared his teeth in an animalistic grin that sent a shiver of premonition down Izaya’s spine. “Oh yeah? What conclusion have you come to?” The grip tightening  around Izaya’s ankle might as well have been squeezing his lungs for how it caused his breath to falter in his chest. 

“That even beasts can possess an impressive level of patience and willpower, but even so, that control is temporary, and eventually they succumb to their urges. It’s in their nature, after all,” Izaya challenged with a smirk. However, his confidence couldn’t hide the way his hands clutched the arms of his chair in anticipation.

His heart was starting to thrum in his chest; because behind the irritation in Shizuo’s gaze, there was a certain glint in his eyes. Now that Shizuo knew of Izaya’s game, he was ready to play. 

Just the thought was enough to set off the butterflies in Izaya’s stomach.

“I see. If giving in is inevitable, why hold back at all then, right?” Shizuo gave him little warning before he was tugging at Izaya’s ankle to pull him closer and yanking him up by his shirt. Izaya yelped, trying not to knock over his monitors in his scramble for balance as he was pulled over and across the desk. He only had a second to be relieved that everything was intact before he was tossed over Shizuo’s shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

Despite knowing that struggling was futile, Izaya fisted his hands in Shizuo’s shirt for stability and tried his best to kick at Shizuo’s thighs. If he felt the hits, he certainly didn’t show it. “Wait a second! What kind of brainless logic is that?!” He shouted, trying to twist his head around to see where he was being taken. He had an idea, and a turn towards the staircase confirmed it.

“Are you sure you should be mouthing off like that? Ah, but maybe you don't care since you’ve been asking for it all day,” Shizuo almost murmured to himself, his anger having faded to an infuriating breeziness.

Izaya’s cheeks flushed despite the absolute ridiculousness of that statement. “Me? Have you forgotten how many times you-!” His words were interrupted by a yelp when Shizuo gave a warning squeeze to his thigh. 

“Shut up.”

Any further protests from Izaya were met with more squeezes to his thighs, each one making him jump more than the last. Shizuo knew very well how sensitive his thighs were, and he was giving Izaya this chance to back down before he used that information against him. And while Izaya was not the kind of man to give up, every once in a while he could accept when he needed to concede. 

He had been orchestrating the setlist all day after all, and now it was time to face the choir. 

He wasn’t, however, expecting to be part of it, and the pitch his voice reached could put the star sopranos to shame. 

“Nahahaha! Shizu-chahahaha-!” His voice cracked on a cackle as Shizuo drilled his thumbs mercilessly into his hips. Upon entering their bedroom, Shizuo had wasted no time in tossing Izaya on the bed and relinquishing the control he’d been holding onto for the past few hours. And he seemed to be making up for the lost time if his zealous start was anything to go by. 

Izaya shook his head back and forth, frantically trying to pry Shizuo’s hands off of his waist, but there was no give to his iron grip. Izaya couldn’t help but wonder which would be easier to free yourself from: a bear trap or Shizuo’s merciless hold.

He quickly settled on the bear trap when Shizuo began kneading at his lower belly, sending sparks of sensitivity crackling across his nerves. “AH! Shit! Stahahahap, you beheheheast!” Izaya threw his head back on shrill laughter, his legs kicking wildly behind him in a stark contrast to Shizuo’s smug composure.

“What do you mean ‘stop’? You were showing off this spot earlier, weren’t you? You think I’m too stupid to notice you untucked your shirt before you stood up?” Shizuo drawled with a satisfied smirk. He suddenly switched from kneading to scratching lightly at Izaya’s belly to pull frenzied giggles from his lips. “It was like you were saying ‘please, please, please, tickle me here’.”

Izaya’s face lit up with a brilliant red flush at the realization. In teasing Shizuo over how much he wanted to get his hands on Izaya and tickle him to tears, Izaya had practically been asking for it the entire time without shame. What was even more mortifying was how-underneath the amusement at Shizuo’s struggle-he’d been just as eager for Shizuo to break. 

He’d choke to death on his own laughter before he ever admitted that though. 

“D-don’t blame me for your lack of self-control!” He scolded before falling into a fit of giggles when fingers skittered along his waistline. “Ehehehe! Wait, wait, wait!” 

His eyes widened into saucers when Shizuo suddenly caught his hands and pinned them above his head, learned anticipation thudding his heart against his chest.

“You were showing off this spot too, weren’t you?” Shizuo asked casually, impervious to the way Izaya tugged at his wrists like his life depended on it. “Can’t be helped then.” He followed his words with a shrug before spidering his fingers under Izaya’s arm with a practiced skill. 

The response was instantaneous; Izaya shrieked, arching his back in a desperate attempt to protect himself and failing to gain any reprieve. Shizuo knew all of the ways to drive Izaya up the wall and he wasn’t afraid to utilize them now. He was surprisingly thorough in moments like these- taking the time to try everything from rubbing his thumbs into the dip of Izaya’s underarms to lightly scritching at his biceps.

The latter had seemed merciful at first, as Izaya’s biceps weren’t normally that ticklish. He quickly learned that wasn’t the case, though, when Shizuo lingered there long enough for the sensation to become absolutely maddening. 

It took an embarrassingly long time for Izaya to find his words again, but of course he found a way to talk through the flood of mirth.

“Ahahaha! D-don’t try to act like this isn’t-“ his words were interrupted by a loud bark of laughter when suddenly Shizuo pinched at his upper ribs. “Like this isn’t whahahat you’ve been begging for all day!”

That seemed to finally get under Shizuo’s skin enough for him to scowl and lean in close. If Shizuo had to fight to keep that scowl from twitching up at the corners, neither of them mentioned it.

“Well, if this is what we both wanted, I guess I should go all out right?”

A shiver ran down Izaya’s back, and despite the squeals and protests that soon echoed through the apartment, Izaya couldn’t say that he minded it all that much. He could handle the fingers dancing along his skin, no longer restless now that they were focused on the goal of making him wheeze out desperate laughter. He could handle the lips pressing sweetly against his own, turning that same laughter muffled and breathless.

Shizuo had earned this fair and square, and in a way, so had Izaya.

Now all that was left was to enjoy the fruits of their labor. 

[thermodynamic-comedian]

i think that lonelyeyes works the best when they're each others' worst nightmares and i think that jonelias works the best when they're both suffering and absolutely need each other and i think that timelias works the best when they both think they're the manipulator (neither of them actually is) and i think that-

[mooncaps]

Still thinking about her.

Like, ancient people carved these out of rocks, in great detail, because that's how enamored they were with the idea of a being who was beautiful and feminine, and had a penis. Maybe they were inspired by meeting an intersex person or trans girl in their lives. Maybe the art was an expression of what they wished they could become. Or maybe they were the fetish artists of their time, taking commissions so they could pay their bills. Whatever the reason, someone decided that this concept was of such importance that it needed to be carved into fucking statues.

I've only done light research, but Aphroditus seems to have originated as someone's high-concept fanon idea of "what if Aphrodite, the beautiful goddess of love, had a dick?"

And then a few hundred years later someone else expanded that concept into their OC Hermaphroditus, the child of Hermes and Aphrodite, who basically got named after his parents' portmanteau ship name. (And then the writer used that OC to tell a cautionary tale about being ensnared and cursed by the actions of evil women or whatever.) But also it became the origin myth for intersex bodies, as it was said that anyone who bathed in the pool where Hermaphroditus was transformed would then be similarly transformed themselves.

There's one tale of the female Aphrodite where Theseus sacrifices a goat to her, and the goat transforms from a she-goat to a he-goat.

Some Romans, when they adapted Aphrodite into Venus, seemed to conceptualize Venus as genderfluid, sometimes taking the form of Venus Barbata, or Bearded Venus. "The name Venus in itself, is masculine in its termination, and it was perceived that the goddess becomes the god and the god the goddess sometimes." [x]

So it's evident that people have been thinking about gender bending concepts, and feminine beauty in a body with a penis, for a very long time. Aphroditus dates back to at least 7th century BC. They even held festivals where people cross-dressed to honor Aphroditus. The festivals allowed "women to act the part of men, and men put on woman's clothing and play the woman." [x]

And that stuff makes me feel a little more connected to humanity and history. I don't know what I am, gender nonconforming, genderfluid, or maybe a trans girl, but in any of those labels, it's comforting to think that people in history were probably feeling the same feelings. Maybe some of their attempts at femininity looked a bit like mine, since they didn't have access to laser hair removal either. Maybe when some of them put on women's clothing, they felt a little scared of how much they liked it. Maybe some of them felt like they weren't really feminine enough to deserve to take on the role of a woman. Maybe some of them felt a little sad when the permission of the festival passed, like I felt when the permission of Halloween passed and I went back to wearing boy clothes. Maybe when they conceptualized this deity in ancient Greece, they were trying to dream of what I sometimes try to dream of: a heaven where gender is more flexible than it is here. Maybe some of them wanted to imagine that the gods had these genderfluid powers because they wished they could have such powers, like I wish I could have such powers.

Maybe there are some ancient Greek and Roman people in the afterlife who smile when they see me put on a skirt, remembering a festival 2500 years ago where they did that. And that idea warms my silly heart.

[st-danger]

Me, opening my computer to write smut about Aether in spite of today's revelation

[blackbird-brewster]

HELP! I made this edit last night when I was loopy on my meds and I sent it to my partner while they were asleep and totally forgot until I opened our chat this morning.

(Context: We just watched 05x03 - Ascension and for absolutely no reason Teal'c was wearing a flame button up and cowboy hat. I love him)

[lilyrizzy]

i would LOVE to hear more about your forced coming out story/leaked sex tape fic idea! you’re one of my favorite authors and that trope always hits for me

(thank you anon for sending me number 54 & for OG anon's kind words!) this is another idea crafted with my lil evil genius @catofthecanals289 when we were telling each other bedtime stories on our recent holiday lol so this is 100% a joint effort from both of us

cw: very brief mention of weight loss so under cut

Okay so the idea was that Daniel fires Michael (sorry if you are a Michael stan, stop reading now maybe) after Max gets worried about how much weight Daniel loses in the 2022 season and tentatively (stubbornly) convices him that maybe Daniel should try a session with his trainer, Brad. and Daniel is like, huh this does actually feel better.

So when Daniel goes to Michael's place to tell him, obviously they have a big, big fight about it. Especially when Daniel kinda chickens out and admits that Max convinced him. He doesn't want his friend to blame him! But this obviously makes Michael more mad because lets say (for plot) that he's never been the biggest fan of Max or his relationship with Daniel. He and Daniel have been friends for years! how could Daniel chose Max over him:(

The fight escelates until Daniel is storming out angrily because Michael has some choice things to say back about how you forgetting how to drive a race car isn't my fault mate, walks home and doesn't realise he's left his phone at Michaels...

Michael however, does notice, and when it starts buzzing on his coffee table with Max texting like, how did he take it? are you okay? he sees red. Opens it to text back like, fuck you max, love from michael, but instead, just above Max's message is. A video. Of Max and Daniel. Of Daniel sucking Max's dick.

Michael doesn't know what comes over him really. He only knows that he's angry, really fucking angry when he hits the button to share it onto Daniel's twitter...

[deus-ex-mona]

a n y w a y s listen to nagisa’s new song it’ll change your life

[bread-tab]

i am considering applying for security guard jobs (amongst several other types of job on a list of "this will let me work a graveyard shift and theoretically have a real sleep schedule") but every time i look at the listings i hear the voice of Murderbot in my head like

don't do it motherfucker. what the shit. i've spent six books telling you that security is terrible work and humans are the worst at it. you're a human. don't you fucking dare >:|

[galaxythreads]

I am not immune to when a man breaks down in a woman's arms and she comforts him and holds him close and neither are you