#ace of books gets paid to read

[aceofbooks]

After being paid to read for over a year, I've found that it takes a lot for me to call something cringey. Maybe it's the years in fandom backing me up, maybe I just have low standards. I don't know. BUT an author deciding to give themselves a pat on the back—"'Thank [God] for romance authors!'"—after a sex scene is cringey in its own way, right? I've looked past similar things before, so whatever. But the sex scene wasn't even that good 😭

I actually like the book well enough on its own. But the dude's practically a virgin and he got all his "skills" from reading romance novels and watching porn? At least make it good for me to read even if it's unrealistic 😔

[sixofravens-reads]

I have finished Light from Uncommon Stars! What a wonderful book, emotional, great characters, the ending is perfectly bittersweet. I did think the alien technology was a little bit deus ex machina bc we don't go into The Science Of It All, but also this isn't hard scifi so it's not a huge issue.

Going to start Wizard of the Grove by Tanya Huff now. It's potentially the longest book on my TBR (I didn't compare all the books lol), but apparently it's actually two books bound together. It's been on my TBR for ages, and I've been juuust interested enough to not get rid of it yet, so it'll be good to get it off the list, whether that's by DNFing or reading it lol. I am a little worried cause the last Tanya Huff book I read was absolutely chock-full of weird incest, but I've heard that's an outlier and not all her books are so cringe, so let's hope for the best with this one.

[ltleflrt]

Figuring out I'm on the ace spectrum was so difficult because I have always been a horny bitch. I knew what sex was at a fairly young age, because I'd asked my mom and she's one of those good parents who'll answer questions like those, and as I grew older and would ask more complex questions, her answers would evolve along with my curiosity and understanding of the world. And I remember having fantasies as young as 9 or 10 years old, even if they were hella vague and nothing close to what sex actually is lol

So as I became a teenager, and all my friends' focus turned from playing with dolls to flirting with boys, I automatically thought I was attracted to boys. And I paid more attention to Cute Boys than I did to Cute Girls, because girls were just nice to look at while boys were People To Have Crushes On. Because of heteronormativity. Looking back on it now, I know there were girls I liked to stare at just as intently as boys, although less often because I wasn't trying to pay attention. And I certainly didn't fantasize about girls because I started reading romance novels in 5th grade, so I was fantasizing about male romantic partners because that was the fiction I was consuming. I didn't even realize fantasizing about girls was possible until I was 17, and I had a few "am I a lesbian" internal crises for years because of it.

So when I did start having sex, I had A LOT OF IT with SO MANY different guys, and eventually a couple of women once I started accepting that bisexuality was real. But it was never really fulfilling. Not like my fantasies were. Not like my books were. I was slutty because sex was fun, I was horny, there were plenty of options so I kept searching for that satisfaction I was craving.

Getting married was a relief (even though it turns out I'm aro-spec too lol) because I was tired of hunting, and even if sex with my husband was meh, at least I had someone around to scratch that itch if I had it, and he didn't mind if I occasionally took care of things on my own because I'd read an especially hot scene in a romance.

I learned about asexuality in my early 20s, but I brushed it off. Couldn't be me, I'm far too horny for that. But I think that comes from the fact that everything you hear about Aces is attached to sex-repulsion or sex-indifference. I wasn't either of those things. I was horny all the dang time. I was fantasizing about sex all the dang time. I figured actual sex was meh because my imagination was so vivid that real life could never match up. Which could be true to an extent, but I think not as much as popular opinion would have us believe. If fantasy was really that much better for everyone, then I think we'd have less incels and unplanned pregnancies than we do.

In my 30s I finally saw people talking about The Spectrum, and I started examining my past, and I figured out I wasn't really attracted to anyone I had sex with. I do occasionally find someone attractive; there are men and women and enbies who make my skin feel tight and give me a little wave of lightheadedness lol... but it's always always the fantasy that gets me really going. If given the opportunity I wouldn't have sex with any of those people. Thank you, but no thank you, I'd rather just imagine it than physically participate in the act with them.

(Ok I might go down on them, but that's less about wanting sex, and more about being able to add them to my Tally. Hell yeah I want to brag about making *insert hot person* have an orgasm. There's PRIDE in that kind of accomplishment lol)

I have a lot of respect for aces that are not horny. I understand it even if I don't share the sentiment. And I feel like most of them understand me even if they don't share the sentiment. There's a solidarity between us.

Until I go into a fandom tag for a character that the aces have glommed onto because they're canonically ace or headcanoned as ace. Good lord, the non-horny aces can turn into downright vicious bastards if a horny ace sexualizes their blorbo.

This post is for them.

Horny aces exist. Please look up "autochorissexual, lithosexual, and aegosexual."

Refer to those definitions in regards to romantic attraction as well as sexual attraction.

Some aces may not fall into one of those definitions, because asexuality is a spectrum, but they may still be horny.

Horny aces are not disrespecting you by enjoying being horny on main. We promise we'll wash the stickiness off our hands before we hold your hands in queer solidarity.

And most importantly: Your blorbo is fictional and does not need to be defended from icky sexuality. They exist in an infinite multiverse, so your blorbo and my blorbo are not the same, even if they appear to be on the surface.

AND:

This post is also for the people who are confused about themselves because they're horny but don't actually feel attraction. You're not crazy, you're not wishy washy, you're not "waiting for the right person to come along" (unless you are, in which case I hope you find them). You're just a thin strip of color on a massive rainbow that holds more unique shades than anyone can perceive at a glance.

You're valid. You're one of us too.

And don't be mean to the non-horny aces. Tag your smut so they can avoid it. (But actually so I can find it lol)

[unboundprompts]

Hi! Love your page it’s been super fun reading through a lot of your stuff. I really love your enemies to lovers especially. Could you do some dialogue prompts for Academic Rivals to Lovers? Thanks in advance 🥰

Thank you so much!!

Academic Rivals to Lovers Writing Prompts

-> feel free to edit and adjust pronouns as you see fit.

"Have you studied for the test?" He asked, sitting down at the table across from her. She glanced up from her book. "Of course, I studied," she responded. Without missing a beat, he pulled out a textbook and slid it between them. "Great," he said, his usual snarky banter missing. "I really need you to help me learn this."

She hated them. They infuriated her to no end. They never studied. Never paid attention in class. She doesn't think she's seen them in the library once. And somehow, without fail, they aced every exam. They passed it with ease while she studied her ass off every night. She worked hard for her grades, and they were getting it handed to them.

"You're an idiot," they laughed, the spite in their tone melting away. "Yeah, I know," he responded.

She tapped his shoulder. "Do you have a pen I can borrow?" He raised his brow. "You're telling me that The [Full Name] didn't come to class prepared?" She just rolled her eyes. "I had a late night."

He was angry and he decided that enough was enough. Before he thought about biting his tongue, he spat, "Is everything just a competition to you?" They stared at him and he watched their face fall. "Isn't it to you, too?"

If you like what I do and want to support me, please consider buying me a coffee! I also offer editing services and other writing advice on my Ko-fi! Become a member to receive exclusive content, early access, and prioritized writing prompt requests.

[tarotwithlove]

PAC ⋆ the best date you will ever have

reminder that this is a general reading and messages found here may not apply to everyone. take what resonates, leave what doesn't, and don't force anything if it does not fit.

BOOK A READING WITH ME · BOOK A 2024 YEAR AHEAD READING WITH ME (GENERAL OR NSFW) · LINKTREE · 18+ PATREON · TIPS ♡ tips, bookings, and feedback are highly appreciated!

GROUP ONE

cards · king of pentacles, six of cups, ace of swords, nine of wands, ace of cups, the world. 

channelled songs · no choir by florence + the machine. just got paid by nsync. money trees by kendrick lamar. just luv me by britney spears.

my dear group one ♡ the best date you will ever have will be with an established partner who makes a point to spoil you in every way they believe you deserve. and they believe you deserve to experience every luxury that life has to offer, without a worry for money. 

this date may be to celebrate a milestone -- a number of years together or an achievement that you reached in your professional life. a date that jay-z and beyonce went on in the last few months comes to mind, one from which they posted a picture of them drinking a VERY expensive bottle of champagne.

the date with your partner may be similar to this, and may take place in paris. or in another foreign city that you love, or that holds importance for you and your partner. this date will make you feel like you’ve fallen in love all over again. as if you’ve entered a new phase of your relationship. 

you may reminisce about your years together on this date. talk about renewing your vows, and even play with the idea of having another child.

GROUP TWO

cards · the sun reversed, nine of cups, four of pentacles, king of cups, eight of swords, five of wands reversed. 

channelled songs · no matter what by polo g. a loving feeling by mitski. get your number by mariah carey. rain on me by ashanti. 

my dear group two ♡ the best date you will ever have will be unexpected. you may go on a date with someone just to pass the time -- even though you’re not that attracted to them or even though you don’t really see a future with them or just as a distraction from a recent heartbreak. you may just decide to go on this date because, “what’s the worst that can happen?” or because you don’t have anything else to do on this day. 

but this person will completely and utterly surprise you. not only with how they show up for you on this date, bringing you flowers, but also how considerate they are of the things you like and dislike. you may be friendly in your day-to-day, in work or school, and you’ll be surprised about how much they remembered about you from the conversations you had. 

the flowers they bring will be perfect. the location they choose for the date will be perfect. the conversation will be perfect.

you’ll see a completely different side to this person, and find that you get along so well. so much better than you’ve gotten along with someone in the past, especially on a first date. your conversation will flow so easily, and you’ll laugh and have introspective conversations in equal measure. 

you’ll be so grateful that you decided to go on this date, and will cross your fingers and hope that you’ll see each other in this capacity again. 

GROUP THREE

cards · the world, king of pentacles, judgement, the fool, page of wands, seven of pentacles. 

channelled songs · child by mark lee. should’ve been me by mitski. cherubim by serpentwithfeet. deep in love by day6. 

my dear group three ♡  the best date you will ever have may be with someone fairly older and richer than you. this person may also be of a different nationality than you, and you may meet while you both are travelling. your paths will cross and from the very beginning you will feel attracted to each other; you will feel as if you were meant to meet. 

every date with this person may be a good one, that’s just how your relationship is. you just get each other. but the best date with them may be one that pushes you out of your comfort zone.

on this date, you may go hiking. or they may teach you how to surf. or you may decide to investigate abandoned buildings. you’ll be doing something that not many people may view as romantic, but is romantic for you because they are sharing something they love with you. 

you’ll laugh so much on this day, feeling light and in love and just happy to be alive and experience this life together. 

your partner may even propose on this date, much to your pleasant surprise. and i picture you just throwing yourself at them and plastering them in kisses. 

GROUP FOUR

cards · strength, eight of swords, six of cups, page of wands, ten of pentacles, eight of wands. 

channelled songs · oh yes by whitney houston. happy by mitski. i didn’t mean to fall in love by snoh aalegra. gemstone by miyavi. 

my dear group four ♡ the best date you will ever have may be with someone you reconcile with. this may be someone you broke up with in the past, or with whom your paths just naturally diverged, and when you run into each other again it’s like fate.

you immediately jump at the chance to ask them out on a date, and do everything in your power to make sure this date goes well.

though, for the most part, this date may not be romantic and may not take a romantic turn -- as while you held onto this person, they long-since moved on. 

your conversation will be filled with reminiscing, talking about your time together and all that you have experienced since you last saw each other. and, in this moment, sitting across from them, you will feel yourself fall more and more in love. so in love, you feel like you will never recover or never be able to move on.

you’ll talk and talk and talk. it will be difficult to part, because neither of you will want to. and so you will go from eating together, to going to a dessert place, to going to a nearby park, to going to some attraction. you’ll walk around the city, stopping at places that grab your attention, doing anything to not part for just a moment longer. 

on this date, you won’t sleep. you’ll stay up to the early hours of the morning, and when you say goodbye it will be because some external force has forced you to. work. a prior obligation. and when you part, you will do so regrettably. 

[vitaminseetarot]

Poll PAC: What Your Next Birthday Celebration Will Be Like 🎂🎉🎁

Sup y'all, welcome back to another PAC reading. This time I'm doing a special 1 year/birthday/poll topic of choice themed pick a card! This is also a special one as VitaminSee now has 300 followers! Holy crap thank you for your support everyone! I haven't been able to get on Tumblr for a while, so I apologize if it seems like I've dropped from the aether. Life is starting to enter its hectic phase right now! Thank you so much for your patience. I'm waiting for life things to straighten out (lol as if life ever does) before I go ahead and offer some basic paid readings, which I hope to do in May.

This topic is for the next birthday you have coming up, whether that's tomorrow or next year. For my selection, I was recently lucky to have found the Wild Wisdom Companion book among a vast pile of discounted books. It's based on the Wheel of the Year. I thought this deck was perfect for making piles themed around the progression of the year and how our birthdays respond to the passage of the seasons. Pick whichever one of the Spring themed card you like most down below:

Pile 1 - The Unfurling 🌱 Pile 2 - The Wind 🕊 Pile 3 - The Door 🗝 Pile 4 - The Alchemist 🍾

Pile 1 - The Unfurling

Sagittarius - Expand, Level Up, Shadow, Isolation; XVII Star, 3 of Cups, XXI World, Ace of Wands, 5 of Cups

Hello, pile 1! Your birthday is going to be the start of great expansion. Your first three oracle cards spell it out so clearly! Sagittarius is all about shooting for seemingly farfetched goals and striking the target anyway. There is so much growth going on in your pile. You're probably anticipating your next chapter to be one of reaching beyond the horizon and feeling ready to do so. Ideas or wishes that seemed impossible may be coming closer to being within your grasp. Your life is ready to take it up a notch immediately after your next birthday, where things may begin to feel like they're accelerating. Don't worry about the turbulence, it's all a part of the movement. Breaking out of your comfort zone may feel scary, but something about your next birthday will set off a chain of events that will propel you to a new phase of life.

I have a feeling that many who choose this pile will be in a transitory stage of life, like you're getting ready to start college or a new job around your birthday. It's not just another year older, this next one will be extra meaningful in terms of receiving something you've been longing for in quite some time. It's something you've been greatly eager to begin. I don't any sense that you'll be looking back too much once you go forward, since you'll be thrust rather quickly in your next chapter.

But it's still okay if you're experiencing anxiety over it, even if it's something you've really wanted. Anxiety, doubt, and fear are not necessarily indicators that something isn't right for you. It's normal to get cold feet in this context. A sprout breaking from its seed shell is no small feat; it requires a great amount of momentum and motivation. Congratulate yourself for having come this far. Let your birthday be a chance to celebrate this. Give yourself the opportunity to commemorate with friends, if they wanna help give you a birthday to remember then let them. They may feel the vibe as much as you will on that day. Don't be afraid to take that day trip out to a new place you've never seen.

What's interesting about the Isolation card is that it shows two cups. There is meanwhile a Friendship card in this deck with only one cup. So I don't know if the words were swapped with the images or what, but the sense I get is that you will very likely be in good company during your birthday. They may want to take you out dancing (the Ace of Wands is reminding me of disco lights). However, even in the midst of the event, you may feel the urge to hide away from the crowd. I'm picturing someone stepping out of a house during a party. You may need to catch your breath at times in order to process the emotions you're experiencing, as you have a lot of energetic, lit up cards just before the five of cups.

Again, getting in dark negative moods is normal when you're facing a big new stage is not indicative that things will go wrong if it's something you know you're looking forward to. If you end up spending most of the day with friends, find some space to be at peace by yourself so you can even out your feelings. These intense moods will come and go on their own, so make sure to stay balanced (and not too overly caffeinated lol) on your birthday.

Pile 2 - The Wind 🕊

Third House - Communication, A New Day, Ball Pits, Family; 10 of Swords, 5 of Cups, III Empress, Knight of Pentacles, 4 of Cups

How's it going pile 2? I couldn't help but notice you have two pairs of swallows in your reading. Birds may have some significance for you, maybe you'll go birdwatching or even get a pet bird. For a small number of you, the birthday could involve a plane flight out of home for a quick trip. Could you be visiting family members? There's a lot of communication going on, for sure. Even if you're not traveling out by flight, you may have family members show up to take you out somewhere. They may be insistent on seeing you, talking to you, and spending time with you. The phone might blow up first thing in the morning with notifications and voicemail.

But I'm seeing a lot of hesitance in your tarot cards. You may be feeling tired or burned out and not necessarily in the mood to celebrate. The previous year was a doozy for you so perhaps catching up on sleep is more of your priority. Ever get the feeling of wanting to sleep because life is overwhelmed and you're like, "I give up (for now)?" and call it a day? You need to give yourself a chance to recuperate around your birthday, before during and after. Have a break so you can fully recover and receive all that the coming year has to offer you.

That means letting loved ones in your life, be they bio family or chosen family, understand that you'd rather have a small get together or a chance to rest every now and then if you're invited out somewhere. If you choose to go out, there's nothing wrong with taking it slow and easy, or doing something casual like grabbing some ice cream and sitting by the riverside to ponder the next year. Communicate your feelings instead of bottling them up in an attempt to keep up with everybody else. Don't let anyone convince you of how you should celebrate, it's your day your rules!

Others of you who have a little more energy, a little more of that "last year sucks, I need to go out and do something fun to sweat it off!", I feel like the ball is emphasized here with Knight of Pentacles beneath Ball Pits. Some of you looking for more action and noise may choose to go to a ball game, or spend time at the arcade playing pinball with friends. It could even be mini golf. Whether you are the low energy (calm) or high energy (excited) seeking type, getting the chance to have some fun is important, as long as it feels right for you.

This is the pile most likely to get some kind of surprise, be that a party (high energy) or a surprise gift (low energy). There will be a sense of being pampered. Some of you may get a larger number of gifts than you may have expected. You may receive a very beautiful gift, something you may treasure for a long time. Whatever it may be, allow yourself to thoroughly enjoy it and express that joy. Let yourself embrace gratitude, being mindful of what you have now regardless of how your last year has been and how your next year will be. For your next birthday, try to focus on the present (in both meanings).

Pile 3 - The Door 🗝

South Node - Past, Let Your Light Shine, Bubble Gum, Winter; Ace of Cups, 9 of Swords, 3 of Pentacles, XIX Sun, Page of Wands

Hey pile 3! For your next birthday, I'm definitely seeing you go outside to celebrate. There may be an actual party held outdoors, or you might choose to go out somewhere. I'm seeing parks, possibly national parks or natural trails. I'm getting the feeling of warm sunshine, the weather will likely cooperate perfectly on your day. You could be cruising through town, going from store to store (the 3 of pentacles reminds me of a mall here). Your birthday feels expansive and adventurous, ready for something new.

A small number of you may wish to engage a little bit in the spotlight, or you may be placed into a position of receiving more attention on this day. If you wish to, your birthday would be a great day to showcase your talents or passions, since I'm picking up a bit of Leo energy in this pile. With lips in Bubble Gum, you could be giving a speech? I'm picturing an actual toast, if you feel the strong urge to speak out then do so, let yourself be heard. I'm also seeing people sing for you at restaurants, so if that isn't your style, it's best to find a place to eat that doesn't do that sort of thing.

This birthday could be like your own version of a New Year's Eve celebration. Some of you may actually be born in the winter or around New Year's, so holidays and birthdays could tie in together. You're wanting your birthday to stand out amidst the traditional festivities (I've known many people born around Christmas who hate having their birthday gifts thrown under the tree, so you're not alone in that frustration!). You may get the idea of doing something out of the ordinary. Let yourself take the spotlight--it's your special occasion!

There's a message in your pile of letting old things go as you step into a new age. Old things from the year prior may still be sticking onto you, old issues from unresolved matters may pop up. They could be on the more practical side, like needing to sign something or finish a task on time. Be ready to step into the future unafraid--now is the time to shed the baggage. Your birthday can be the fresh start to a bright new trip around the sun, but you gotta give yourself that chance. If something needs to be resolved, and you got the time, tie up your loose ends beforehand so it's not weighing on you as you celebrate.

Your birthday is a threshold to an exciting new time for you. It may be like a breath of fresh air. I keep hearing "refreshed" and "invigorated", so this may be how you feel at the end of your birthday. You may do something that makes you think, "huh, why don't I do this more often?" That could be the key for you to step into something brand new. Will spending time with your friends refresh you, or going to a concert and discovering a new band that you will fall in love with as it warms up the show? Or may you desire to spend more time out in nature? Lean into what lights you up, listen to what engages you, and move from there.

Pile 4 - The Alchemist 🍾

Imum Coeli - Roots, Snow Day, Forest, Transformation; 3 of Cups, 6 of Cups, Ace of Swords, XII Hanged Man, 8 of Swords

What's up, pile 4? Your birthday is looking to be the absolute warmest and coziest out of all the piles. Many of you may identify strongly with introversion. I'm sensing a lot of you have your birthday around autumn or the cooler times of the year when most people are ready to bundle up in blankets or sit by the wood stove while awaiting the first signs of frost. Many of you may get a lucky chance to stay at home instead of needing to work or go to school, so you'll have the day off to plan out what you want to do. Others of you may desire to take time off if you have the chance to, I would go for it especially if you've been feeling the need to rest. You may live near trees or desire to be out in nature as a way to kick back.

I'm seeing someone invite a few friends over to watch old reruns of favorite shows while baking. It could be a gathering of closest friends, I'm not getting the sense that it'll be a big to-do bash. This day will be short, sweet, and simple. It's a good day for doing hobbies or spending time indulging in the gifts you were given. Some of you may rather spend time with family or those you live with instead of inviting people over. You and your family may share a special way of celebrating birthdays, I don't know of any birthday specific cultural traditions from the top of my head but you may have special rituals unique to you and your family. Either way, I get that you'll have a modest celebration that's nevertheless full of camaraderie and relaxing activities.

The description for the Alchemist card says "Allow Transformation", and you have another Transformation card. You may be doing a lot of transmuting on the inside, working through old stubborn patterns and limiting beliefs around this time. I'm seeing the ball of flame near the snow as if you're melting old self-sabotaging blockages away to make room for more growth in your coming year. This flame, this transmuting energy, is making way for the new to arrive.

The Hanged Man being tangled up in vines beneath a forest makes me think that you've been hung up on something that needs to be let go. You must prune in order to effectively grow. Too much in a small space can lead to cramming and confusion. You must deal with the thoughts tangling themselves up in your mind before cultivating the thoughts you want in their place. Changes may happen slowly on the outside, but when certain patterns are fully cleared out things can really take off.

So, for example, let's say you've wanted to sign up for a ceramics workshop for your birthday, or spend the day cleaning house (if you happen to find cleaning therapeutic). To do so, you'll need to not only free up your schedule, but free your mind of thoughts trying to convince you that you can't learn or can't clean. Perhaps it's difficult to not see the forest as just a bundle of trees. But a forest is more than trees, it's an entire system that supports itself in a perpetual cycle. Don't fill up your days with too many tasks, especially on your birthday. Pace the day with both the things you want to do and the things you have to do. The time around birthday will show you how to integrate the best of both worlds. We can have cake and eat it too, it's just a matter of pacing and doing things one at a time.

This reading has not been evaluated by the FDA to diagnose, prevent, treat, or cure any disease or infection. Please ask your physician before going online.

2024, @VitaminseeTarot ™

[thornhawthorne]

The thing about writing trans characters is that it is 100% guaranteed that at least a few trans people are going to be unhappy with whatever you write — not necessarily through any fault of your own, though that is certainly a possibility, but because there is such a dearth of trans representation in general.

Trans people are hungry and we’ve mostly been getting by on crumbs. I’m not saying that there are NO media with trans characters, but you have to admit that there are not a lot of really good things to read/watch/consume that have trans characters (and this is without getting into the question of whether or not those characters or the media they’re presented in cater to your particular tastes!)

^ This is usually the real problem. Certain genres and mediums have it worse, too! Think about how expensive it is to make movies or TV shows and how many people you have to get approval from and how many people need to be hired and paid to make one that makes it to cable, streaming services, or theaters, as an example.

Books and comics give us more to choose from in part because the barrier to pushing one out into the world is lower, though still not as much as I would like.

Personally, I want to make a TV show, but I can’t. So, I’m making the story into a comic that could maybe get adapted someday. This brings us close to my point:

Two of the protagonists (and many more of the side characters) in my current project are canonically trans. To some people, these two will be refreshing / the representation that they have been waiting to see for AGES. Those people will feel like they are being presented with a feast. To others, it will feel like being handed an empty plate and told to eat up. Those people are not wrong and I will not take it personally. The way that my writing makes them feel will be extremely real and undeniably valid.

What I want fellow writers to understand is that these feelings are not always going to be the fault of the individual author of the individual project that inspired these feelings (with the caveat that it does kind of suck when a new fictional trans person turns out to be exactly like all the other crumbs we’ve been forced to call a feast.) The people you make angry by breaking away from the norm could simply be mad because they’re used to feeling seen rather than because you've done something terrible.

People will be angry if a trans character is conventionally attractive or if they aren’t. They’ll be angry if you make the character pre-everything, non-op, HRT only, 10 years into a “do everything” transition, fat, thin, tall, short, etc. They’ll be angry if you make the character gay, straight, bi, pan, aro, ace -- I could keep going, but I won’t.

My point is that while you should definitely take the reasoning behind the anger your work may inspire into consideration and you should ABSOLUTELY remain critical of your own work if you want it to be the best it could possibly be...

You also have to be aware that you CANNOT please everyone, especially not with a single trans character in isolation, and you should not work yourself half to death trying to meet some imaginary guidelines of what “good” representation is, because it doesn’t exist.

"Good representation" means something different to everyone.

Also, someone already made basically what I was trying to express in this post but better and also in a single image:

[amourdivine]

PAC ઉ YOUR CURRENT ENERGY!

Hello, lovelies, I know it has been some time, but I missed you. I hope everyone is doing ok these days. Let's look into your energy today, shall we?

paid readings are closed as of february 2024

none of the images are mine unless stated otherwise!

pick a card masterlist & information

the piles.

1 → 2 3 → 4

how to choose your pile.  take deep breaths for a few minutes & look at each and every one of the piles separately. see which one brings you to a feeling, a place or a memory. take your time and feel free to come back to it later.

amourdivine. 2021 - 2024 © do not copy, redistribute or edit my content.

disclaimer. this is a general reading! tarot is a divination tool & is not a substitute for medical and professional advice, nor is it meant to be taken as such. i do not take responsibility for any choice(s) made by you or others regarding my readings.

PILE ONE

queen of cups ✧ death ✧ ace of swords ✧ the high priestess

Before I shuffled, I couldn’t help but feel lonely, like there’s this pang in my chest whenever I think of life and the current state of the world. It reminds me of the term “loneliness epidemic” and how so many of us are struggling to make friends or maintain pre-existing relationships. I think you are beginning to find emotional fulfillment in different things than you did before. Nothing may have worked out - at least, the things that used to work out aren’t working out anymore. There’s this voice inside of you begging for a new beginning, for clarity, and it’s slow but surely coming towards you. Where your energy is will wildly depend on how much you’ve listened to that inner voice already, but it’s a calling towards something new, regardless.

I think you’re scared because you haven’t done this before. You may be discovering things about yourself as well that are quite surprising, like new hobbies or gifts. It’s refreshing too, both painful and refreshing. Sort of like the concept of growing pains - growing up is not easy and there are no guidelines, no roadmaps. Often, we discover things through trial and error. 

You may have withdrawn your energy as well, especially from old social circles. I get the feeling you were unsatisfied. Things felt stuck. They may still feel stuck, boring and completely lost in the routine of it all. It’s okay. You’re growing. Bones can hurt when they heal and grow. The same goes for you. I see snakes here, shedding their old skin. In your case, I don’t think you have found a “new skin” already, but you’ve shed your old life either way. It’s okay to want more, pile one. It’s okay to change. We’re ever-evolving. What suited you then won’t suit you now, that’s how life goes, with the changing of the seasons. It’s beautiful to witness - and when you look back you’ll realize just how much we can shift, how many places we’ll go and how much more there is to life than our old selves.

It’s okay to let it go. You’ll be okay even if the waters are muddy for now.

This is a very spiritual pile! Make sure to cater to your emotional and spiritual needs, taking care of your physical body and being around soothing, comforting or quiet places while you tend to this new self.

channeled messages & songs: white snakes, ring, scarf, life path 8 (or 8 in general), silver jewelry, bodies of water, sleeping, bed-rotting, kundalini awakening, modern loneliness by lauv, scorpio, pisces and cancer, hermitting, social batteries, introvert, epiphany, books, the bible, prophetic dreams, chocolate, ego death. 

PILE TWO

six of cups ✧ the hanged man ✧ eight of cups ✧ seven of wands

You are returning to yourself, it feels like a sort of homecoming. Fighting for your peace while, at the same time, learning to accept what you can’t control. You have walked away from old beliefs, from restraints of the past and renewing your faith in yourself. Even the picture you’ve chosen is a close-up of someone’s outfit walking away. You’ve found dignity and you’re not willing to sacrifice it anymore. Maybe you’ve left a situationship or relationship that was draining you, molding you into someone you weren’t. Props to you for that. It’s not easy and I know it.

Your guides are proud - they’re very serious and regal. They think you deserve more than what you’ve had. Not in a self-serving way, don’t mistake it for self-indulgence, but in a human, dignified way. They see you as royalty, too. They don’t want you to settle for breadcrumbs in life anymore. No matter how difficult it’s been, they don’t want you to stop believing that things can get better.

For most of you, this is a time when you’re shifting into a more peaceful but assertive phase. You’re taking charge of your joy, your future and your responsibilities without clinging to self-blame or guilt. Maybe it took you a long time. I heard “recovery” in my mind and this has possibly something to do with a specific illness or disease you’ve battled for so long. There’s a huge feeling of relief, of taking a long breath after a tiring day. 

It’s okay, you’re home now, you’re safe now. You can relax. You’ve got this, pile two.

channeled messages & songs: therapy, journaling, barbie or baby doll, sage green, green tea, pastels, tiktok, doomscrolling, healing, “i’m not the girl i used to be”, rainbow by kacey musgraves, self-acceptance, shadow work, “i’m still standing”, camping, nature, libra and taurus.

PILE THREE

three of swords ✧ the hermit ✧ the star ✧ queen of pentacles

Your heart is broken. Someone or something has left you to lick your wounds and tend to the bruises they gave you. You’re in pain, so much pain that it may be unbearable to wake up everyday. You’re questioning your worth, your self-esteem has crumbled.. and you don’t want anyone to find you, to see you in such a vulnerable state. All you do now is hope for better days, pray a rainbow comes after the storm because the current is heavy and has taken you astray.

Unfortunately life can’t always be what we want or expect. Allow room for these heavy emotions - this too shall pass. It’s okay to be disappointed, to feel betrayed and hurt by what happened. If the ground was pulled beneath your feet, was it ever really that solid to begin with?

This is the aftermath of something painful. And that’s okay. You can’t force yourself to feel good. In the meantime, you can take it slow, nurture the hope for better days and hold onto it. I know we tend to view hope as mostly something negative and passive, but you can take baby steps towards emotional fulfillment. The Queen of Pentacles suggests you take it slow - there is no rush to healing, nothing to be accomplished, there is nothing for you to prove. You’re human, and therefore, worthy of compassion, patience and healing. Remember the Wheel of Fortune: what comes up must go down, what goes down must go up eventually. You’ll feel better, pile three. I promise.

channeled messages & songs: taking a walk, flower pot, cacti, heartbreak anthems, olivia rodrigo, punk rock, “i’m angry all the time”, hurts like hell by fleurie, capricorn, saturn, personal year 5, backstabbing, depression, navy blue by muna.

PILE FOUR

the hanged man ✧ the hierophant ✧ six of pentacles ✧ the star

You’re learning and teaching. Giving and receiving. Letting the scales balance themselves out, remembering that balance is not always fifty fifty. All the piles have had somewhat similar themes, so I wouldn’t be surprised if you have felt drawn to either pile one or two, but this one feels like a continuation of it, so it could be that you’re transitioning from one to another. Naturally, please take only what resonates for you!

You may have found a new job, a stable relationship, a good circle of friends. You know, despite the positive feeling of these cards, I can’t help but wonder if you’re waiting for it all to crumble again, feeling like the shadows of your past are going to haunt you forever. I keep wondering if you’re okay, I keep wanting to ask you. You’re scared, you’ve got your guard up. You can’t really trust it will last - and while it’s true that it all comes and goes, you can trust nothing is ever wasted. 

Let your guard down. Not everyone has your worst interests in their heart. Maybe self-isolation suited you before, didn’t it? You weren’t used to being loved, you still aren’t. But you still deserve it. Sometimes it’s easier to endure the hard things because they’re all we expect. It’s difficult to take in the good things, isn’t it? To feel worthy of them. To realize there is more to life than survival. You’re finally living now - and that’s a good thing. Uncertainty is scary, but in a way, so is the familiarity of hurt, of unrequited lovers and callous friendships. Are you ready to be loved, pile four? You can ask for the good times as much as you want, but when it is here, you have to remember to enjoy it, to not be on the lookout for the bad things so much.

We’re rarely in control. I know it’s difficult, but that’s often a good thing. Not being in control means you can worry less. You can fret less. You can take it day by day, knowing that the outside forces will do what they must and we’re all silly little souls on a giant floating rock.

PS: You’re doing well, I promise.

channeled messages & songs: self-sabotage, nightmares, attachment issues, bulletproof by la roux, bones, candles by daughter, earrings, 2024 planner, five year plan, entj, istj, quiet singing, “the pen is mightier than the sword”, studying, sweater weather, stress cleaning, autumn girl.

amourdivine. 2021 - 2024 © do not copy, redistribute or edit my content.

[stories-and-chaos]

Shrike: Deal Makers

[Hazbin Hotel reader insert as Alastor’s “darling life and death partner” Ace x ace relationship, both parties are moderately sex favorable.]

[One shot, word count 3629, Cw: violence, blood, death, attempted assault, cursing]

——————

The sounds of Pentagram City, gunshots, screams, and explosions, were a vague drone from within your home. Alastor was perusing the newspaper while you looked over the selection on the bookshelf. You’d read all the books at least once. Many were worn from being read multiple times over the decades. None of them was immediately appealing though.

You heard the crackle of radio static as your husband noticed your hesitation. The lanky demon set aside the paper to focus on you. “Trouble deciding my dear?” he asked, the hint of amusement in his voice telling you he had thought of something interesting.

You looked over at him, relaxing at the breakfast table. “Just a bit bored darling. Anything in the news I should know?” You poured yourself some coffee before sitting across from him.

“Hmm, nothing unusual. The rabble securing space before Extermination Day.” The yearly event was roughly a month away and demons were stepping up their preparations. It was similar to humans boarding up their homes before an incoming hurricane. You couldn’t stop the force of nature (or Heaven), you had to try to weather through it. “I’ll admit I’m feeling some ennui myself.” He sipped his coffee before continuing.

“Although…I did have a thought for some entertainment, cher,” he mused, his smile becoming more of a smirk as he raised an eyebrow temptingly.

“Really? Do share Alastor, don’t leave me in suspense.” You leaned forward, both elbows on the table as you cupped your mug in both hands.

His grin widened. “We know how desperate demons get around now, yes? Souls are easy pickings. So, let’s play a game my dear Y/N.” Your eyes brightened at the prospect and you could feel your wings rustling in anticipation. He continued, “Let’s have a contest between the two of us, cher. Who can acquire the most souls before Extermination Day? The one who loses…” he glanced around your home, trying to think of a consequence.

“The one with fewer new souls does all the dishes for a month. By hand,” you suggested. Neither of you enjoyed washing dishes and being able to use your wind or his shadow tentacles made the chore moderately tolerable.

The two of you had played other games and contests in your afterlife. The stakes for losing were ultimately low between you. You were partners after all. Trapping one’s partner in a deal had no appeal to yourself or Alastor.

Deal making with any other demon? That was entertainment.

“Excellent!” His ears perked up and his antlers stretched slightly as he agreed. This would be a perfect way to alleviate your boredom.

An hour later, the two of you strolled together to a plaza in your shared territory. Alastor took your hand and pressed your talons to his lips. “Bonne chance, cher.”

You used a bit of wind to raise you up so you could easily give him a peck on the cheek. “May the best Overlord win.” You backed up enough not to knock him over with your downdraft and took to the sky. Alastor twirled his cane and strolled off in another direction, humming in amusement.

It was times like this that you missed Husk’s casino. It had been an easy hunting ground. You tend to ensnare souls over time. Offer something small that they desperately wanted. Again and again, building up favors with the other demon. Eventually the favors could only be paid with their soul. Or if they had managed to keep their debt to you to a minimum, they would come to a point where what they wanted wasn’t something small. And if you could provide multiple small deals, surely you could make a substantial deal with them, even if it meant their soul.

The casino had been perfect for that, giving you ample opportunity to tempt Sinners with enough cash for another hand or another roll of the dice. And they always came back for more. A favor to a delicate little thing like you was essentially free.

Until it wasn’t.

But sadly, Alastor owned Husk now and his casino was safely tucked away amid dozens of other strongholds of former Overlords. So you had to find other places to play the game.

Of course there were other places to gamble in Hell. But you didn’t have the same understanding with the proprietors; waltzing in to offer collateral to desperate patrons wasn’t encouraged. Bars and drug dens had just as many degenerate souls craving funds you could offer.

At the moment however, the whole city was clawing to avoid Extermination Day. Being out on the streets was second suicide. If you couldn’t secure a hiding place on your own, working for someone who could provide one was the best option. Protection was worth more than money for the majority.

While Alastor looked like a powerful Overlord, you weren’t immediately intimidating. Sometimes you wished you were of a similar mold to Carmilla or Zeezi. Few doubted them, their presence was so powerful. You were what you were however. You hadn’t let your form stop you yet.

Landing in a distant section of the pentagram, you kept your eyes and ears open for potential opportunities as you walked. Sure enough, you found a perfect chance. And it reminded you of how you met Alastor.

A much more run down neighborhood than you frequented, the Sinners here had no issue with committing atrocities in the streets. Case in point; a trio of demons cornered a much smaller one. “You don’t wanna be all alone on Extermination Day, do you babe?” one of them said. He looked like a skeleton held together by acidic gel. One bony hand was pressed against the wall, cutting off the small cat-like demon’s escape.

The cornered demon shook his head mutely, his eyes pinning in fear. One of the other Sinners, this one a blue and orange cyclops, spotted you. “Whatcha looking at birdie? You can come along too, you’re cute enough.” The third demon moved to grab your arm in a lizard claw. His yellowed scales gleamed as he swung you up to the wall.

You could have broken away, but where was the fun in that? Besides, this was an opportunity to establish yourself in this area.

“Oooo, two for one special. C’mon bitches, we’ll keep you nice and safe from the big bad angels. All you gotta do is work for us.” The skeleton grinned, a green haze leaking between his teeth. “Couple cuties like you, we’ll make you bigger stars than that spider twink.”

The demon next to you shrank into himself, unconsciously hiding behind your wing. You put on a concerned air. “Oh mais la cher, I don’t think you can keep yourselves safe. You all look rather…what’s the word…pathetic, that’s it!” The cat demon looked at you like you were insane.

“What the fuck did you say?”

“I said you all looked pathetic. Weak? Unable to perform? I can go on.” The skeleton pulled back his arm to slap you. Or he tried. The instant he moved, you produced a stiletto that you jammed into his throat. He stumbled back, blade dislodging, with green fluid bubbling out from this mouth and neck wound.

“Bones!” the cyclops yelped as the gel melted away from the demon. That was his name?! You felt more than justified removing such a cliche punk from the afterlife. Before he could do more than yell, you thrust the blade into his giant orange eye. It was a much more convenient target than the man you first killed decades ago. Retinal fluid gushed out as he screamed, flailing at the stiletto.

The lizard demon backed away. “Fuck this shit!” He skittered away on all fours, disappearing into the sparse crowd. You let him go. Dead demons told no tales after all. If you wanted demons looking to you for protection, then you needed tales to spread.

Your talons had fluid splashed all over. “Ew,” you said mildly. The gore didn’t scare you, you’d gotten over that fear in life. But that didn’t mean you enjoyed being covered in it. You flicked your hands back and forth, a bit of wind helping to get the worst off and dry your hands.

The cyclops continued to moan in pain next to the pile of bones that was his buddy. You delicately sidestepped around him, avoiding the splatter of blood and fluid he was making as he thrashed around. “W-w-wait! Wait wait please!” came a shaky call from behind you.

You couldn’t help but grin before twirling around. The cat demon had stumbled forward, reaching for you. “You…you saved me.”

“I suppose I did. You’re welcome, cher,” you said in an airy tone as you started to move away.

“No, please! Help me! I’m not gonna make it through Extermination Day, please I’ll do anything!” he called, fear mixing with hope in his voice. Apparently he was having a very bad time in Hell and saw you as a lifeline.

“Anything? That’s quite a lot to offer to a demon you just met.” You faced him fully. Drawn by the cyclop’s cries and the sense of drama, a small crowd started to gather. “What’s your name?”

“André.”

“Y/N, the Singing Shrike.” There was a murmur in the crowd as some recognized your name. “If you’re willing to offer anything to an Overlord, then I’m willing to make a deal. My protection for your soul.” You held out your hand, still stained with retinal fluid and now emitting a silver light. “Do we have a deal?”

André’s ears flattened as he looked back and forth between your hand and the two demons, one dead and one dying, at your feet. “It’s a deal.” He clasped your hand firmly with his paw. There was a swirl of wind around you both that formed into a collar and chain on your new subordinate’s neck. It was only visible for a second. That’s one, you thought in satisfaction.

“Wonderful!” you chirped, clapping your hands once. “It’s always a delight to form new bonds, is it not? Now then, I’m feeling a bit parched. Let’s find something to drink while we discuss your future André.”

The reality of what he’d just done seemed to be sinking in, but he followed you anyway. It took a couple of blocks of walking before you found a decent looking coffee shop. You ordered two coffees, settled at an outdoor table and gestured at André to sit with you. The coffee was decent and you sipped the hot liquid before focusing on the cat demon.

“Now then. I’m sure you didn’t wake up this morning planning to sell your soul. You’re welcome to live and work wherever you like, so long as you understand that when I call you, you will be there. Follow my orders and we’ll get along fine. Now, what are your skills?”

It turned out he was a stage actor. He’d only been in Hell for a year and a half. The prospect of trying to survive Extermination Days every year made him a literal scaredy cat. Finding out he was an actor was a bonus. “That is perfect. Most of my followers are performers, you’ll fit right in, cher.” You penned an address on a card. “One of the theaters in my district. They’re auditioning after Extermination Day. I can set you up in our territory or you can keep staying where you are. Either way, I’ll call you on the Day to hold up my end of the deal.”

With that you sent him on his way; he said he’d take a look at your territory before deciding. Now you could drink your coffee and wait.

Before long, a female Sinner that had been in the crowd approached you. She looked like a luna moth, soft fluff and light green wings. “Miss Y/N? Are… are you… willing to make other deals?”

“Depending on the terms and the demon. Take a seat, cher, let’s talk.”

By the end of the day, you had five more souls in addition to André. The area you had come to wasn’t currently in dispute, but whoever was in charge was not doing a great job of maintaining any kind of order. So a decent handful were looking for someone, anyone, that could offer more security.

You were back home before Alastor and decided to start preparing dinner. Shrimp and grits sounded perfect after a day of negotiations. Alastor seemed to agree when he arrived. Over dinner the two of you compared your days.

Unsurprisingly, he had a slight number advantage already. But the game had just started and you weren’t about to concede to a mere three soul lead. He’d made a deal with a demon struggling to maintain a few blocks of territory. Once Alastor had the leader on a leash, the few souls he’d owned became Alastor’s as well.

For his part, your husband was thrilled at your disposal of two lowlifes and the lure you’d set in that area. “You’ve come a long way from a singer with a hat pin my dear.”

“So have you darling, from a radio host stalking the night with a knife.”

The month passed. Some days you returned to where you acquired André. Word had spread and other Sinners looking to avoid a second death came to offer their souls for safety. Other days you did offer small deals in other areas, building up to gaining a soul.

Some of your new demons spread word to their friends. And others heard of you from the lizard demon you let escape. Including the wannabe ruler of the neighborhood you were siphoning souls from.

There was a week left before Extermination Day and the end of your contest with Alastor. You had returned to the coffee shop you’d essentially taken over for negotiations. The owner had actually made a deal with you not too long ago, after witnessing you make so many without abusing your new subordinates. So she now had a source of better coffee and new machines due to be installed after Extermination Day. In the meantime she kept you and whoever joined your table supplied with drinks and snacks.

The crowd of Sinners approaching you now didn’t look like they were coming to negotiate however. They looked ready for a fight. One of the baristas whispered, “That’s the leader of the area and his gang, Miss.” You finished your drink and handed the cup to them. “Have everyone stay inside until I come in, cher.” The barista gladly dashed in the shop. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see the workers and customers within scuttling about.

You leaned back in the metal chair as they came up to your table. The group of roughly a dozen demons was led by a skeleton with poisonously purple gel attaching all his joints. Fluid bubbled within the rib cage and a dull blue haze surrounded his shoulders. You simply waited, talons interlaced.

Your silence and slight smile irritated the tall creature. He was used to small female demons being intimidated by him and his goons. Evidently your calm was unnerving.

“So you're the bitch stealing all my people huh?” he finally hissed at you.

You tilted your head, “That’s a very interesting definition of ‘stealing.’ It’s rather difficult to steal something that doesn’t belong to anyone. And I can’t really blame any of the residents for coming to me after seeing the state of things here.”

He slammed a fist on the table, denting it. “First you kill my cousin, then you snatch away my people and now you insult me? I’m gonna show you your place girlie.”

His crowd of sycophants started hyping him up: “You tell her boss, fuck that bitch up, show her whatcha got Knuckles, she’s gotta pay for Bones.” This fool’s name was Knuckles? This lot was just sad if they couldn’t think of anything better.

The haze around his shoulders turned into flames as the bones of his hands grew. More flames erupted along his arms and fingers as his hands turned into spiked boxing gloves.

In response, you summoned dozens of stilettos into the air. They glimmered briefly before launching at the group. Squishy thuds were followed by cries of pain as the blades found their targets; eyes, throats, guts. Knuckles whipped his head around at his crew suddenly dropping in a dozen bloody messes.

You stood up, made sure of your footing, and leapt at the surprised bag of bones. You were too close to manage a flip, but a stab to the torso worked just fine. Or so you thought. As the leader stumbled down, carried by your momentum along with the sudden pain, the gel holding him together spewed fluid from the wound.

All that vibrant color was for a reason you realized as your hand burned with whatever the bastard was filled with splashed on your hand. “Fuck!” You kneed the skeleton in the jaw, sending him flat on his back, before quickly making a little whirlwind around your hand to get the fluid off.

Hissing through the pain, you planted a heeled foot on his skull. “Do you own any souls?” you asked roughly. Amazing how well the skeleton could show fear and confusion. You repeated the question, enunciating each word. He shook head. “Mais la, too bad.” You pulled your foot back slightly, turning his head. Then you kicked sharply with a gust for added power, twisting his head away and snapping his neck.

Stepping into the coffee shop, you called out, “All clear ladies and gentlemen. Zoe,” you gestured to the owner, “I need your last aid kit and the sink. And someone to clean up the mess.” You ran your burned hand under the water for a good twenty minutes, making sure you got all the acid(?) off. It was definitely a chemical burn but it was superficial. It would just hurt like a bitch.

Zoe helped you pay the area dry and wrap it in a clean bandage. “Are you going home Miss?” she asked nervously. You could guess any of the skeleton’s cronies that you hadn’t killed would be out for revenge once they realized he was dead. It was barely after lunch so there was ample time in the day for word to spread.

“And miss out on the next act?” You laughed as you settled back into your seat outside. “What kind of Overlord would I be if I left the job half done?” Only four demons came looking for trouble, but without you there that would have been even one too many.

Three joined their former boss in a heap of bodies. One, yet another gel connected skeleton with a blue color scheme, took a look at the pile of corpses, and decided selling his soul to you was the better option. Once you had the former grunt under your talon, you felt you could leave safely. You summoned a demon that had been with you for years. The hawk demon was used to being your occasional muscle. So you left the two of them to guard the shop. Meanwhile the body clean up decided burning the pile was their best option, especially with the acid skeleton mixed in. As you took off, they were lighting the gasoline drenched corpses on fire.

Alastor was home before you. Once he saw your bandaged hand he insisted on inspecting the wound. “Cher, how did this happen?” He asked, brows knitted as he unwrapped the bandage.

“Folly on my part. I didn’t realize the acidic looking demon was in fact, acidic.” Alastor examined the area and determined it was superficial as you thought. He applied ointment and rebandaged your hand. “At least now that I’ve killed that excuse for a gang leader it will be easier to acquire souls. I’ve got to close your lead cher.”

Your husband returned to the jambalaya he was preparing. “Are you still up to the contest my dear? I wouldn’t blame you for wanting to call it off now.”

“Of course I am!” You smacked the table with your good hand. “I’m not about to let a little injury stop me! I’m having too much fun.”

Your prediction was accurate. Without the neighborhood’s erstwhile leader and Extermination Day less than a week away, already desperate demons were losing their shit. You kept your new muscle, Calve, with you. He proved to be a decent informant. He resented you of course; you’d taken out his whole gang including his cousins. Your charm wore him down and by the end of the week he had a grudging respect for you.

Extermination Day arrived. The night before you had ensconced all your new souls into your territory. Doors and windows were fortified; the angels liked easy pickings and extra barriers meant they often went looking for other targets. It was only when they couldn’t find demons in the open that they started breaking down entrances.

In relative safety, you and Alastor finished your final tallies. 122 new souls for you and 124 for him. The last six days had helped you catch up but he still managed to squeak by a win.

“Ah, I do feel bad, making you wash all the dishes when your hand is still injured,” he mused as screams filled the air outside.

You examined your freshly bandaged hand. “Well, if you are that concerned, you can continue with the chore until I’m healed up. Should only be a few more days. I’ll even add a few days onto my end as an apology.”

“Hmm,” Alastor hummed, thinking it over. He grinned as another shriek pierced the air. “It’s a deal.”

———————

@whitewolfsoldat @edgyboi10000 @ch3sire-blu3 @clearly-awkward @badatpunz @bengewatch @chewbrry

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Pick a Pile Reading | What Do People Admire/Find Beautiful About You? ☄. *. ⋆

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──────

PILE 1 COLLECTIVE

7 of pentacles. ace of cups. the magician.

channeled songs: sh-boom - the chords. starstruck - christopher wilde. magic - bob. where you lead - carole king.

people admire how much of a visionary you are! your aesthetic sensitivity, long-term goals, personal values, business skills, creativity, and optimism are some sources of your beauty. people find you to be very physically beautiful in general though. maybe it’s the advice you give or the pleasant sound of your voice, but your charm is undeniable. people also appreciate your unique flare, work ethic, and emotional intelligence. it’s clear you have big dreams and capabilities. something about you is dependable and trustworthy to others. you have tinkering energy and raw talent. people recognize the positive impact you make regardless of the environment. you may often be in a fixer-upper, alchemist, support system, teacher role. people admire your dedication and feel more connected to their dreams/purpose because of you. your energy is healing and uplifting. the sincerity in your heart is a gift and allows others to find hope/relief in you. you’re a trailblazer, philanthropist, humanitarian that does the world good simply by existing and sharing your light. your self-assured outlook is infectious and the way you make life feel like a party is irreplaceable. people admire how much of a safe space and muse you are, tied all into one.

PILE 2 COLLECTIVE

knight of cups. 2 of wands. 9 of wands rx.

channeled songs: perfect (exceeder) - mason. the heart wants what it wants - selena gomez. come & get it - selena gomez.

you are a natural flirt and an object of affection, whether you know it or not! you've got sweetheart/crush/eye candy energy. people love to simply know and be near u. it can be hard to read your mind because of your gentle/feminine/passive nature, which tends to keep the thrill or mystery alive! you're someone that can appear intimidating or too hot to handle, but your inner self is much more reassuring and grounded. people find your resilience, charm, social status, patience, thoughtfulness, style, and mysteriousness to be beautiful. it’s giving hot but unavailable/bad bitch or bad boy. you can be quite protective with your energy/time, which people admire. you know not to settle and to treat yourself like the prize. you often intimidate but intrigue others. cat's got their tongue when they look at you! you embody the beauty standard or simply have that “it” factor. you leave people wanting more and struggling to move on from you. you’re unforgettable and mesmerizing, which is beautiful. you’re like a still and elegant work of art that people would go up to admire in a museum. sometimes it can seem like you're a shiny toy that everyone wants a chance to play with, but you’re not easily impressed.

PILE 3 COLLECTIVE

queen of swords. 5 of wands rx. knight of pentacles. knight of wands.

channeled songs: look at me, i’m sandra dee - grease soundtrack. something that i want - grace potter.

your composure, morality, clear judgment, inner beliefs, and stimulating conversation are really attractive to others! people feel that you have a way with words or a commanding presence without actually exerting force. you’re strategic and wise beyond your years, which makes people want to respect you. others also admire your resilience and thoughtfulness. you can easily find answers to problems or have an unmatched intuition to those around you. you’re in it to win it, which makes u dedicated and passionate. for some, you may relate to the underdog. even with life’s tough challenges, you always persevere. people admire your loyalty & find your mind attractive. you may tend to keep to yourself or people could view you as having a big ego, but your tunnel vision blocks out all that noise. you're admired for the way you defy expectations and others’ authority. you are the boss of your own life and a force to be reckoned with. your identity is a mix of stoic tradition + edgy rebellion, which can surprise people at times. your tenacity, analytical traits, high spirits, and capacity to lead are beautiful. you have natural leadership skills that make people want your approval or loyalty. your aura is dominant and elusive so people know better than to stand in your way or do anything other than tag along for the ride.

PILE 4 COLLECTIVE

8 of swords. 9 of swords. 8 of pentacles. justice (libra).

channeled songs: i’m a mess - bebe rexha. mind over matter - young the giant.

your past, independence, emotional maturity/depth, complex mind, shadow self, and resilience are focal points of attraction. you are a survivor who takes their time in opening up/letting go. people admire the capabilities of your heart and feel a lot of sympathy for you. others may feel that you are too much of a people pleaser or often underestimate/overwork yourself, which makes them want to show up for you. the more reluctant with embracing confidence you are, the more people want to advocate for your potential and growth. others feel like you deserve all the privileges and platforms that you may have been previously denied. you deserve to take up space. people tend to develop a karmic attraction to you where they want to see things through or can’t bring themselves to leave your life. you are hardworking and deserving of everything good, which can enhance other people’s desire to provide and show up for you. if life has not been fair to you, this inspires generosity and admiration in others. people feel protective and want to advocate for you. your fairness and respect for the balance of life is also beautiful. people enjoy how even-tempered, considerate, honest, and reflective you are. they see you as the work hard, play hard type. “went from nothing to something”, apocalyptic energy. you’re on your grind and everyone wants to be a personal cheerleader to you. you fight the good fight and others believe in ur potential because of how beautiful your heart is + how much you’ve overcome. your willpower is also a defining statement/testament of your core identity.

[system-to-the-madness]

How Kaz would take care of you during exam season (Headcanons)

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x Reader (can be read as any gender, no pronouns used) Genre: drabble, fluff Word Count: 317 Warnings: food, Kaz is staring and he’s aware of it

He always brings you coffee, or rather your favourite hot drink. It takes him a few tries to get it right, and he always watches you very carefully when you take your first sips, so he knows how to improve it.

If he doesn’t make the drink himself, he gets it from your favourite shop. He knows your order because he always pays close attention when you talk to the staff, so he can learn it.

He is not very good at languages or sciences, but he aces math, even though he never really paid attention in classes. So, if you need help with math, he’s the guy to go to.

But actually... you don’t.

Because he always turns up before you even know you’re going to have a question, it’s never you who approaches him, but he who approaches you. It’s almost like he’s desperately searching for a way to spend more time with you… but he wouldn’t. Why would he?

Everyone is always scared for your life when they find out he’s helping you, worried he might lose his temper with you, but even though he is often grumpy, he never shoots a nasty word your way, never raises his voice, never gets impatient.

As a matter of fact, he’s more patient with you than you’d like. You almost feel bad for how much he takes care of you and helps you, even when you’re unconcentrated. And when you brood over an exercise or are writing an essay, Kaz doesn’t just leave. Instead, he props his elbow up on the table, chin in his gloved hand, and leans over a book. The only time he’s actually looking at the book though is when you lift your head. The rest of the time he just watches you, and he would absolutely deny it, but there’s a soft smile on his lips as he watches you work.

[aceofbooks]

Not my boss apologizing because my new assignment is extra spicy 🫣

[navybrat817]

Knock knock

Who’s there?

PROFESSOR BUCKY FUCKING BARNES THOTS ONLY 🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵

#RIPaquaspusspuss

Panty ruiner, Aqua! 🔥

Like Real People Do

Pairing: Professor!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Summary: Bucky decides to stop being professional and take what he wants.

Word Count: Over 1.3k

Warnings: Explicit sexual content, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), age gap, slight power imbalance, swearing, possessive behavior, Bucky Barnes (he’s a warning, okay?).

A/N: I should be working on other things, but why not? Might be a thing. Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by @rookthorne . Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications and please reblog or comment as it means the world!

Bucky had seen his fair share of students during his career. Most didn't care about his lessons and he had to remind himself that it didn't matter becaus he loved teaching. His favorite part of teaching this year, however, is seeing you. Each class, you sat in the front row, paid attention and actively participated, and aced every quiz and exam.

He was certain you were trying to kill him.

Why else would you show up in dresses and skirts with stockings and heels? Why did you ignore the jocks and every other guy in class who tried to get your attention? And why did you hand in your assignments last and brush your fingers against his every single time?

His own personal temptress.

Bucky tried to be good. He was a professional, a man in his 30's. Sleeping with a student was a line he never thought about crossing, but you made it hard for him to think of anything else. Especially after you bent down to pick up the book you dropped after his last class and revealed your silk panties.

Were they as wet as he imagined?

Did you know he was staring?

"See you next class, professor."

"No," he said before he could stop himself. "See me in my office."

He had to put himself out of his misery.

Sitting across from him at his desk a few minutes later, he wasn't exactly sure what to say. He couldn't remember the last time he wanted someone as badly as you. How did a mere glance from you shake his confidence?

"Professor?" you asked, playing with the hem of your skirt.

He cleared his throat and loosened his tie. "Yes?"

"Why haven't you fucked me yet?"

Bucky was a dead man.

"Excuse me?" he asked because he was sure he hadn't heard you correctly.

"You heard me. You think I wear outfits like this for everyone? I caught you staring, so I kept wearing them," you smiled as you opened your legs, revealing your panties again. There was no mistaking the wet spot this time. "Like what you see? Or did I read this wrong?"

Bucky swore all the blood in his body rushed to his cock. His mouth watered as he stared, wondering how you'd taste on his tongue. He wanted to drown himself in you.

If he was going to hell, would it be wrong to have a bit of heaven?

"I'm sorry, professor," you said, quickly shutting your legs when he didn't speak. The certainty of the situation visibly left your body as you scrambled to get your bag. "I'm so sorry. I'll go."

He slowly stood up and placed his hands on his desk, needing to take back some control. You were offering yourself to him. He was going to selfishly indulge.

No, he couldn't let you leave.

Thankfully, he remembered to lock the door.

"I didn't say you could go," he said, leaning forward an inch when you froze. "Get your panties off and bend over my desk. Now."

Determination filled your eyes again as you smiled. "Yes, professor."

You had your breasts pressed against the desk as he stroked himself, his cock so hard it almost hurt. He could see the tremor in your body as he flipped your skirt up and spread your legs further apart, your ruined panties on the floor where you left them. He'd take his time with you later. But the groan of relief he let out when he slid home, his eyes fluttering shut at the feel of your wet walls around his cock, it had to be quick and dirty now.

"Fuck me," you begged, pushing your hips back when he stilled. "Please, professor.

"Bucky," he corrected you, smirking as he looked down to see you stretched around him. "I'm not just some professor, so you say my name when I fuck you."

"Bucky," you sighed when he began to thrust, holding on as he gripped your hips.

"Good girl," he praised, the sound of his name on your lips a sinful sound he wanted to hear again. "Fuck, your greedy cunt keeps sucking me back in. Tell me how good my cock feels."

You gasped as he pushed deeper, eagerly rocking back as much as you could. The way you squirmed, he knew you'd be a sight fucking yourself on his cock. He couldn't wait to watch your breasts bounce as you took all of him.

"Answer me," he practically growled, bringing his hand down on your ass. "Always such a good student. Don't be bad now."

"Feels so good," you whined, looking briefly over your shoulder before you pressed your cheek to the desk. "Touched myself thinking of you. Feels so much better."

"Touched yourself thinking of me? My dirty girl. I'm no better. Wanted to fuck you the first day," he grunted, bringing his hand down again. "Next class, don't wear any panties. You hear me? Your pussy belongs to me now."

Instead of putting himself out of his misery, he was becoming addicted.

You moaned as Bucky fucked you in earnest. "Yes, it's yours. I'm yours. Please!"

He leaned down, bringing a hand around to cover your mouth. "Be as loud as you want when I take you home," he grunted in your ear.

He never wanted to stop fucking you. Not with how good you felt. He was powerless to stop himself from driving deep inside you, your body made to sin with him. Maybe one day he'd fuck you before class so he could seep out of you, the boys around you none the wiser.

Consequences be damned.

Bucky kept his thrusts deep and steady when he felt your walls begin to flutter. With how wet you were, he hoped you dripped on his desk. "Gonna come for me, aren't you? You want me to come in you," he groaned, the desk creaking from his tough movements as he removed his hand.

"Come in me, please," you begged, your delicious moans filling the room again. His control started to slip away as you clenched harder around his cock. "I-I'm on the pill. Fill me up."

"Beg me for it," he demanded, if only for him to remember later when he jerked off.

"Please, Bucky."

A man could only take so much.

"Come."

You tipped over the edge as his hand smothered you again, your cry of his name muffled as you gushed around him. He helped you ride out your orgasm, praising you under your breath as he chased his end. He buried himself as deep as he could go as he came, your pussy still fluttering as he finished.

His heart pounded in his chest as he gently pulled out moments later, almost coming again at the sight of your mixed release leaking from you. "Fuck," he whispered, helping you upright and fixing your skirt.

Your legs shook as you turned slightly, blindly finding his lips with yours. He brought a hand up to your cheek to deepen the kiss. You were smiling.

That felt even better than the amazing sex the two of you just had.

"So, I didn't read this wrong?" you smiled wider.

"Not at all," he smiled, giving you another quick kiss before he fixed his pants. He cleared his throat as you straightened the rest of your clothes, suddenly worried that this was a one-time thing. "I hope this isn't too forward, but I do want to see you again."

"Too forward considering you fucked me on your desk?" you pointed out. "I want to see you again, too."

He sighed with happiness. "And I meant what I said. You can be as loud as you want when we're actually alone," he winked before his phone went off.

"Oh, I plan to be," you smirked, gesturing for him to get his phone.

He grabbed it and saw a message from Steve.

"Guess you didn't hear me outside of your office. You have fun?"

He scoffed, giving you another gentle smile as you grabbed your underwear, before he typed back. "I did. And I'm not sharing."

"Don't worry. I have my eye on my own student."

Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ KoFi

[specialagentlokitty]

Carol Danvers x reader - you never came

Throwing the wrench up and down in your hand, you looked at the car in front of you and sighed heavily to yourself.

Running a hand through your hair, you ruffled it a little and walked over to the door of the car, grabbing it so you could pull it off.

The metal creaked a little under the weight and it broke off, letting you toss it aside with the others you had been working on.

You didn’t really need the body of the car, it was just other things you had to be careful with and take them off carefully without breaking or damaging them.

You knelt down, holding your palm out to light a small flame under the car, just enough so you could see what was there.

Finding what you were looking for, you carefully pulled it out and looked at it.

Stuffing the bullet into your pocket you began to search for any more, pocketing them as well.

Your phone kept ringing but you didn’t care, you ignored it, not wanting to deal with anything the organisation trying to get in contact with you.

“Come on now, you’re still ignoring us?”

“I’m not dealing with you or your boring agency.”

You heard a laugh.

“Not even for a really good paying job?”

“Got no need for money.”

“So, you’re just living off the grid? Only coming hear to take apart cars?”

You glared a little bit at Fury as he walked over, gesturing the the pile of scrap car parts.

“I get paid to destroy them and it’s what I do.” You said.

He shrugged a little bit.

“I can offer you a better job.”

You wiped your hand on the rag in front of you.

“I’m not interested.”

“Not even if we know where to find your girlfriend?”

You glanced at him.

“I don’t have girlfriend.”

He hummed.

“So, you won’t mind if we tell Carol Danvers where to find you?”

You lit your hands on fire, turning to face him.

“Don’t you dare tell anybody else where to find me..” you sneered.

Slapping your hand in the car, you watched as it was engulfed in flames, and you walked away towards your own car.

You turned your phone off, taking the simcard out as well so it couldn’t be remotely turned back on.

This car wasn’t even a permanent position for you, so when you got halfway to where you needed to go, you set it on fire as well before disappearing into the trees.

Making your way back home, you closed the door behind you and began to work on the bullets you had dug out.

Setting them on your desk, you began to exam in them, writing down everything that you could find out about them.

Then you put them under a microscope so you could get a better look at them.

When you were done, you locked everything away again, heading to your study.

You were looking for the owner behind those bullets, and it wasn’t hard to do. All you had to do was send the information off.

Sitting down, you opened a book and began to read as the night went on, well into the early morning.

Getting up, you stretched and went outside to start your daily tasks.

Grabbing the axe, you began to to chop the wood nearby, throwing it into the basket next to you so you could take it in.

“Can’t believe I’m being sent on a goose chase…”

You spun around, launching the ace in your hand and you rushed forward, flaming fist stopping just inches in front of the intruders face.

You breathed heavily, eyes staring in disbelief.

“(Y/N)?” She whispered.

“How the hell did you get here? How did you find me..?” You hissed.

She raised her hands, taking a shaky breath.

“Nick told me…”

You pushed her away.

“Leave.”

You turned around and walked back over to where you were beforehand.

“I thought you died!” She yelled.

You grabbed your basket and walked inside, setting it in the porch.

“You left me!” You roared.

Carol slowly stood up, eyes glued to you.

“I.. I came back.. your house was burned down.. you were gone..”

You clenched your jaw.

“You told me that you would be right back, and you left! Why?! Because I was a weak human?! Because I wasn’t like you!? You came back and didn’t even tell me!”

“No! Of course not!”

Carol walked over, and she stood in front of the porch.

“I thought you died.. when I came back I didn’t remember anything…” she whispered.

Carol sighed.

“I.. I slowly started to remember and tried to find you…”

Carol looked at you, hands on fire, and she connected eyes to you.

“What happened to you…”

“I had a massive target in my back thanks to your friend, and neither of you saved me. So, get fucked.”

Carol walked over, and you grabbed her, throwing her back with all your strength.

Carol managed to land on her feet, and she looked at you in shock.

“I begged for you to come and save me!” You yelled.

“I’m sorry!”

She walked over, using her own powers to avoid your attacks.

She didn’t want to hurt you, it was the last thing Carol ever wanted to do, and with the strength of your attacks she was finding it hard to defend herself without hurting you.

But you were out for blood.

You were furious, and you wanted to hurt her.

Carol had no choice, using her powers she grabbed your hands, and she held you in place against the wall.

“I don’t want to hurt you… please…”

Tears fell down her eyes, and she held you tightly in her grasp.

“Please…”

Carol raised her eyes to yours and all she saw was a burning hate that couldn’t compare to anything she had ever seen.

And she didn’t know if she could fix it anymore, she didn’t even know if the version of you she fell in love with was still even in there.

“You left me…” you sneered.

“Let me explain…”

You sneered at her even more, and she watched as pain went through you and you fell from her grasp, holding your arm.

“Please..” she whispered.

You looked up at her, slowly standing up and she saw the burns on your arms.

“Get lost.”

You couldn’t contain this power you had, and every time you used it it hurt you, and it made her furious and she wanted to know who did this to you.

But right now she wanted you to trust her enough to let her help you

[pearl-tarotist]

ೄྀ࿐ First impressions; what will your future spouse think of you?

"People themselves alter so much, that there is something new to be observed in them forever".

ਊ→ Chose a pic of the first line to know your spouse's first impression of you. (PILE 1-2-3)

Pile 1

Ace of cups, 2 of wands, 5 of swords, page of cups + king of wands

Your future spouse will see you as someone extremely lovely. Someone that is nurturing, good and emotionally available. They will see you as an emotional person because they will realize that those emotions are easily portrayed in your face and are easy to define. At your first encounter you will be an open book for them and they will easily realize the state/mentality that you have.

They will see you as someone with a lot of ambitions and dreams as it is probable that you will encounter him/her/them in the middle of forming/working in one of those dreams, probably something new that has to do with a trip/expansion of your comfort zone. They will realize how much strength and passion you put into them and they will think you are a fighter for those dreams, you will look like someone that won't give up or bow to anyone. They see resistance and a little bit of stubbornness from you.

It's probable that your personality or actions at the moment inspire and make her/him/them happy. You could remind them a bit of their own feelings, the pure and innocent ones. You will be a blast of fresh air for them.

In general, the impression that they will have of you is someone young that's not scared to go behind their dreams. Someone beautiful and cute, innocent even, that's starting to stablish the bases of something bigger. Probably, this person will be older than you and that's why they see you as this at the beginning. They will also realize that you probably have a lot of friends, that you are quite popular or that you have a lot of power in your social circle.

She Walks in Beauty (by lord byron)

And on that cheek, and o’er that brow,//So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,//The smiles that win, the tints that glow,//But tell of days in goodness spent,//A mind at peace with all below,//A heart whose love is innocent!

M.list/Paid readings

PILE 2

The Hermit, Ace of cups, Ace of wands, 3 of swords + 2 of cups

Your future spouse may think you are more of an introvert, he/she/they will feel that you are not letting yourself to be seen fully and freely.

Your fs will feel that even if you are being nice and polite, to get to know you they will have to pass certain tests that they do not even know in what consists. They will realize that you do not let people easily into your life and that probably you see yourself above some type of people (it's not a bad thing in this case because you will just be aware of which type of people you want to hold a relationship with and of which type of people you don't).

So, you will look more guarded for him and to a point, hurt. AS you will present yourself in a more introvert way; more guarded to form new friendships and relationships, he will think that it comes from bad experiences, a sad story. As if you had your heart broken or in pain.

And I think your future spouse will see you trying so hard to meet new people and be friendly and nice that when seeing the sadness in your eyes, your fs will want to be friends or to start a relationship with you just to stop you from trying anymore.

Like, "Darling, it's okay. Let me be your friend and you will have to stop doing what you hate so much, that it is being sociable...".

It could sound pitiful but your future spouse will not think like that, it's interest more than pity because they will see you in a nice and positive light what makes them interested in getting to know you more and better. Kind of like a damsel in distress. Their interest for you comes good intentions, mutual respect and in a small part because of sexual desire.

Lana del Rey - Sad Girl.

M.list/Paid readings

PILE 3

The emperor, 6 of swords, king of swords, the wheel of fortune, the high priest

Your future spouse will see you as someone that has everything under control, someone that has high self-esteem and that's the boss. They will think that you're someone really strict but also with a lot of skills, knowledge and someone that easily gets rid off of what's not useful for them anymore. You will be in total control of a new change and transformation that you will be going through. It's possible that you don't even realize that you're going through this transformation but your future spouse will notice.

What I see is that this transformation or the origin of this transformation has made you be more professional logical and way mental.

Your future spouse will see you as someone professional, logical and mental and this impression comes out of admiration. They think you are someone really clever and wise, able to produce a lot of benefitial changes in their environment

They think you're good and if they could ask for your advice they think you would give them the best idea ever.

In your first meeting it looks like you will truly impress them with your skills, knowledge, professionalism and your easiness to let what does not benefit you behind. They will see a capable woman, not just a little girl.

M.list/Paid readings

[apocalypseornaw]

Meant to Be (Pt 3/5)

Dean Winchester x Reader

Taking a breather at Bobby's house calms your nerves but makes Dean start to consider how his own feelings for you are beginning to change

@lacilou s idea I ran with

Bobby is alive in this and there's a lot of cursing

You knew your way around Bobby's kitchen probably better than he did. The counter was lined with different herbs for the arache antidote you were making for Xavier along with the dreamwalking serum for Alyson and you were cooking some breakfast in the meantime and had coffee brewing.

You'd gotten up before the rest of the occupants of the house, summoned by the fed line ringing damn near off the wall and hadn't been able to fall back asleep after that. Back to back calls had come in so you were doing the brewing while Bobby did some research. You'd sent Sam and Dean to town after some breakfast ingredients.

You were listening to the Playlist you had blasting while you poured the now cooled antidote into vials. You probably wouldn't have heard Sam come into the kitchen behind you had it not been for the loose board he always seemed to forget about. "I haven't seen you in this good of a mood in weeks" he spoke and you spun around with a grin "Samuel! Did you get my vanilla?" He held up the bag "Of course"

You took the bag and went to work finishing the croissants Bobby had asked for before slapping them in the oven. You nodded to yourself "Dreamwalking serum will be done in ten, croissants should be done around that time too and I need to put on another pot of coffee" you could feel Sam's presence behind you and part of you didn't want to acknowledge it but the other part knew he wasn't going to go away "I'm fine Sam, really"

Hs stepped up closer to you and touched your shoulder gently "Are you sure?" Before you had to respond "You shook me all night long" came on so you turned towards him with a wide grin "Oh no" he muttered and tried to escape but you grabbed him before he could "Oh yes"

---------------

Dean heard your laughter as soon as he stepped in the house. He cut his eyes at Bobby who was sitting at his desk reading over a large book "She's cooking and has music. Next to killing monsters, that's her favorite place"

He laughed as he headed towards the kitchen. When he got closer he could hear Sam's voice and when he made it to the doorway of the kitchen he hadn't expected to find you and Sam dancing to AC/DC.

He leaned against the doorway silently for a moment. He'd never seen you dance too much, you always shied away when anyone asked you at a bar. The way you and Sam moved with each other looked almost choreographed, if he didn't know better he would've pinned you two as having been lovers at some point in time.

Friends didn't know each other as well as you and Sam did and they damn sure couldn't move in step together like that. He felt a small flicker of what he had to admit was jealousy, he'd never gotten to see you like this. You were relaxed around him yeah. Hell you'd known each other for plenty long enough but there was still pieces of you he'd only get to see slivers of from watching your interactions with Sam.

He had been finding himself craving move of those slivers and disappointed when the only thing he got in turn was you pulling away from him even more. He hadn't done anything wrong, had he? He couldn't think further because Sam went to spin you and both of you caught sight of him. The squeal that had fallen from your lips was nothing short of adorable, you turned to bury your face in Sam's chest "I didn't realize there was an audience!"

---------------

You could feel the fact that your entire face was warm. Why hadn't you paid better attention? Dammit now Dean knew the truth when you'd turned him down or any other man citing you couldn't dance.

The truth was Jess had roped you and Sam into classes that she always conveniently scheduled for when she knew you'd be in town. You had always deep down assumed it was her preparing for hers and Sam's wedding. It had seemed a given at the time that they'd marry and have lots of little gorgeous, smart babies.

"Didn't realize there was an audience" you muttered hiding in Sam's chest, trying to smoothe your hair down some and suddenly feeling self conscious over your old jeans and t-shirt. "Don't mind me sweetheart. I was just admiring the fact that I've been cheated out of quite a few dances by believing the lie that you couldn't dance"

You were saved by the timer going off on the oven. You stepped away from Sam and grabbed the oven mitt to retrieve the pan out. You glanced back at Dean "Tell Bobby the croissants are ready please? I've got to bottle the serum"

Dean motioned to Sam "Sammy go let Bobby know they're out how about it? I'll help Y/N with the serum" Sam cut his eyes at you so you gave the barest of nods. If you made a deal out of Dean helping you he'd want to know why and you didn't want to have to deal with those questions.

---------------

You heard Sam walk out so you glanced back at Dean "Wanna grab the corks out of the drawer next to the sink?" He nodded and moved to grab them while you started placing bottles across the table. You felt him move before the heat from his body being close hit your back "Here sweetheart"

You turned to grab them but ran into his chest "Shit" you muttered and he half grinned "Sorry Y/N" you blinked a few times trying to make sure you thought before speaking considering he'd grabbed your hips to steady you and was still holding onto them "I need the funnel out of the sink" he nodded slowly "I'll grab it"

He stepped away from you and you turned back to the bottles, trying to convince your hands to stop shaking from such an innocent touch. You needed to get a grip on your feelings for Dean, he didn't feel the same about you and never would. You took a deep breath at the same time he tapped your shoulder "Funnel" you took it and nodded towards the stove "Hand me that red pot"

He handed it to you and the two of you worked in silence for the next few minutes, you filling the bottles and him coming behind him to cork them. About the time the last cork went into the last bottle Bobby walked in with Sam in tow "You've been busy ain't ya Y/N" you nodded "I like using my hands" Sam raised an eyebrow at you and you felt your cheeks warm. "Bite me Sam" you threw at him and he started laughing.

Bobby's house was a safe haven from hunting, from seeing Dean with women hanging off of him but as with every safe haven it had to come to an end. You probably would've stayed with Bobby had it not been for the fact that the Banes twins needed backup. You were close with both Alicia and Max.

--------------

You were sitting in the backseat of the impala, regretting leaving your car at Bobby's. "You good sweetheart?" Dean asked so you looked up at him in the rearview mirror "I miss my damn car" he grabbed his chest "Ouch sweetheart, I'm offended for baby"

You shrugged "You know I love the impala but it's easier on me and Sam to have a second car when we get ditched" he looked from you to Sam "Oh cmon I don't do that all the time" you and Sam shared a loaded look before Sam said "Yeah you do. Last town me and Y/N went to a double feature so we didn't have to listen to it"

Dean cut his eyes back up at you "listen to it?" You turned to look out the window refusing to meet his eyes even as Sam said "Yeah" "Look I'm sorry, both of you" "It's fine" you answered a little too quickly. Maybe you should stick with Alicia and Max for a while? Just to get this whatever this was out of your system.

As if he could read your mind Sam looked back at you and mouthed "No its not" "Please" You mouthed and he looked a mixture of pissed and defeated before nodding. Either Dean missed your interaction or chose to ignore it. If he was as clueless at hunting as he was at your feelings for him he would've been long dead. You finally let out a breath then said "I'm going to sleep. Wake me when we get to Washington"

-----------

Dean watched you lay down then glanced towards Sam who had his nose buried in his phone. The two of you seemed to be getting even closer than before. Were you sleeping with Sam?

The thought of that made his head hurt. Yeah he'd seen you go off with men from bars, you had a few exes that were hunters but since you started hanging with him and Sam you hadn't really went home with any guy or given any guy attention.

His fingers dug into the steering wheel harder than he'd meant for them too. He realized the idea of you with Sam or any other man didn't set right with him. What the hell was he supposed to do now?

@lacilou

@deans-spinster-witch

@suckitands33

@deans-baby-momma

@jackles010378

@someonewhoisdesperate