#acts like hes the most positive man ever when all he FUCKING does is complain and cry and whine and spew his little conspiracy theories

[armandism]

not me crying because my fathers an asshole lmfao like whats new weve all known that

[sillysillygoofygoose]

Older! Boyfriend Toji Headcanons

MDNI! (Slightly) EXPLICIT CONTENT AHEAD!

Soft headcanons:

Older! Toji, who adores the huge size difference between the two of you. He loves how you tilt your head back to look at him or stand on your tippy toes, pushing on his shoulders, just to kiss his cheek.

Older! Toji, who has a ton of money (shout out to broke ass Toji, though 😔). You have no idea what he does for a living. You're pretty sure it isn't something totally legal, like accounting, but whatever. He doesn't mention it and you don't ask. His favorite thing to do is turn you spoiled rotten. He constantly takes you on shopping trips, although his attitude is astronomical, only letting himself smirk when you thank him for buying you a cute little sundress.

"That one's real cute, baby."

"Yeah, bub, that color is really nice."

"Just buy 'em both, I'll take you somewhere nice to show them off."

He can barley constrain himself from pinning you against the dressing room wall and pushing the faint yellow fabric of the dress away from your skin, tasting you through your little lace panties.

Older! Toji whose love language is quality time and physical touch. No matter what he's doing, he needs to have you next to him. He never thought he'd fall so hard for someone, yet here we are...

"Toji, baby please, I'm trying to cook dinner." Toji only tightens his grip around your waist.

"I know, pretty. Just want to feel you." He responded, hooking his chin over your shoulder, peering at the vegetable you were currently mutilating.

"That's definitely not how you cut garlic." You feel him turn his head, smirking into your neck.

"Shut up."

Older! Toji, who would never, EVER let you drive him anywhere. You're forever stuck as a passenger princess. Hell would have to freeze over before Toji would let you be responsible for transporting him somewhere. This includes the time he accidentally shot himself in the upper thigh (long story 🙄) and REFUSED to let you drive to the hospital. You belong in the passenger seat, and his big hand belongs rested on your thigh, gently squeezing the squishy flesh from time to time.

Older! Toji, who pays for your bi-weekly manicures.

"What about these?" You tilt your phone screen towards him, showing him the set of acrylics you saved to your pinterest board earlier that week.

"Hmm, very nice." He flashed you a small smile of approval before grabbing your hand, kissing each knuckle.

They'd look so small and delicate wrapped around his dick.

Older! Toji whose most embarrassing secret is his love-hate relationship with the Kardashians. At first it was baffling... he doesn't even look like he'd know who they are. However, this man is INVESTED. You heard it here first. He lives for the pettiness of it all.

"What the fuck is Khloé's problem now?"

Toji strolls into the living room where you're perched on the couch, eyes glued to the new episode of 'The Kardashians'. He huffs, plopping down next to you.

"She always acts like she's some mediator for Kim and Kourtney, but she's an instigator. Always whining and complaining about something." He scoffs, rolling his eyes. You laugh, humming in agreement.

His favorite thing to rag on them about is their baby names.

"North West? That's a fucking direction."

Older! Toji, who holds you at night. Feeling your chest rise and fall rhythmically with his is the most comforting feeling in the world. He never falls asleep before you, finding peace only when you've found yours. He only becomes sappy after midnight, the loneliness of a quiet bedroom forcing him to face his emotions. Once he's positive you're passed out for the night, he moves his hand from your upper back to your head, gently stroking back stray strands of hair that were previously covering your precious face.

"You looked so beautiful today. I need to tell you that more." He whispered.

"I'm so lucky to have such a sweet girl all to myself."

"I love you so much. More than anything."

Older! Toji, who sees you as his entire world. Scratch that, his entire universe.

Hope you enjoyed! xoxo

[simpforrooster]

be careful with my baby pt 2.

Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw x F!Reader

Read part one here.

t/w: cursing, mentions of alcohol, mentions of death, some angst

....did he really just say that?

You didn't sleep a wink. How could you?

First, he drops that bomb on you.

Second, he had you pulled against him, his large hand splayed across your stomach.

Once he fell into a deeper sleep and that iron-clade grip loosened, you stealthily rolled off the couch and into his bedroom.

No way you could stay next to him on that couch with all those confusing thoughts in your head. Plus, his bed was a million times more comfortable than the couch.

When you finally decided it was an appropriate time to head into the kitchen, it was 7 am.

Rooster is still asleep on the couch, letting out little snores every now and then. His hand rests across his forehead, and you know he will complain that his arm is sore from that uncomfortable sleeping position.

You expertly move around his kitchen, putting on coffee and finding something to whip up for breakfast. Rooster's refrigerator and pantry are pretty bare bones since he just got back from a mission, but you manage to make something work.

Thank God your grandmother taught you how to make pancakes from scratch.

Rooster stirs on the couch, and you hold your breath.

"Fuck..." he moans. This has to be the most sexual-in-a-non-sexual-setting-thing he's ever done. "How much did I drink?"

Okay, so he remembers he asked you to stay over.

"Too much," you tell him from the stove.

Rooster rolls off the couch, his clothes from the previous night disheveled. He runs a hand through his sandy hair, grimacing as the lights in the kitchen hit him.

"Coffee?" he chokes out. You motion to the full mug you made for him on his bar. He slides into the stool opposite of you. Bringing the mug to his lips, he takes a large sip as if this coffee is a magical elixir that will cure his massive hangover.

He groans, confirming that that was exactly what he was hoping for, and the elixir failed him.

You can't help but let out a small giggle.

This man is adorable.

And sexy.

God, so sexy. How can someone be sexy and adorable?

Rooster smirks up at you. "You laughin' at my pain?"

"Always."

The two of you fall into a rather comfortable silence, considering the last thing he said to you before falling asleep, while you finish up the pancakes.

You set a plate in front of him, and take your own to the barstool next to him. Rooster digs in like he hasn't eaten in months.

"This is it," he gestures to the pancakes, "not the coffee. This is the magical hangover elixir. You have to stay over every time I drink to much from now own."

The compliment turns your cheeks pink. In the years you've known Rooster, this is the first time you've ever cooked for him. Your platonic nights spent together usually involved take out of some kind, or Hard Deck bar food.

Which is much better than you'd think.

Rooster takes both your empty plates to the sink, a new pep in his step thanks to your magical pancakes.

His words, not yours.

You watch as Rooster cleans up the kitchen. He told you when he grew up, the person who cooks gets out of clean up duty. Seeing Rooster act so domestic does things to you you didn't know possible.

Neither of you has brought up what he said last night. You're terrified he doesn't remember it. He remembers he asked you to stay, but maybe he blacked out before whispering those words to you.

Maybe he thought he was asleep and dreamt saying them?

You try not to dwell on it as you sip your coffee. The coffee is the best part about being at Rooster's. He always stocks up on fancy blends, sometimes bringing some back from overseas.

"Thank you for taking care of me last night," he mumbles, pulling you from your thoughts. He's drying the skillet you used, not making eye contact with you. "I hate when I step over that line I've drawn for myself."

You know Rooster likes to keep a clear head about him and typically stops after a few beers, but it's not like the rest of you haven't been there. Rooster has taken care of you countless nights. You've seen Phoenix guide Bob out to her car. Jake has pulled you down from a few tables. Hell, Mav's pulled a glass out of Jake's hand before when he's had enough.

Everyone looks out for each other.

"Roos, stop beating yourself up. You were celebrating a successful mission."

Rooster still hasn't met your eyes. "It almost wasn't." The words are so soft, you almost miss them.

Your blood runs cold. Being friends with fighter pilots has it's risks. You are well aware that when any of them go up, they may not make it back home.

"If Phoenix hadn't been there..." he trails off. His hand circles the skillet that is well dry by now.

You don't pry. Rooster has a very specific way of letting these moments out.

"All I could think of in that moment was you. Fuck, and how I've been such a coward."

Your heartbeat picks up. If you were wearing your Apple Watch, you're certain you'd get a "high heart rate" alert. You swallow your nervousness, waiting for his next words.

He finally sets the skillet down. Bracing his hands on the counter's ledge, he looks up at you.

"I meant what I said last night."

The confession knocks the wind out of you. The two of you stare at one another and your breathing starts coming in ragged intervals.

"I hate that I had to be drunk to say it. I've been so afraid to ruin this friendship." His eyes peer into yours. "I don't have family besides Mav, and I thought if I came clean, I'd loose you as a friend. I couldn't bare that."

Words still hang at the bottom of your throat, so he continues.

"When I was nose to nose with that jet, all I could think about was that I'd never told you how I felt. Dying without you knowing my feelings, shit, I couldn't believe it."

A tear escapes your eye and rolls down your cheek.

"So, I meant it, y/n. It wasn't just some drunk words."

The emotions you're feeling hit you like a tidal wave. Thrilled that Rooster feels the same way. Devastated that you almost lost him. Angry that he doesn't think more highly of himself.

"Please say something," he mumbles to the counter.

It takes every ounce of courage you have. "I love you too, Bradley."

His eyes snap up to yours, and within an instant he's rounded the bar. He swivels the barstool toward him. Looking up at him, with his arm above your shoulder, you feel so safe and small. His other hand brushes a piece of hair behind your ear. He hits you with the sweetest grin you've ever seen on your face.

"Can I kiss you?" he mumbles.

"You better, Lieutenant."

Rooster's hand trails from your ear to cup your face. Leaning in, his mouth covers yours in the safest kiss you've ever had. Your arms lock around his neck, pulling him as close to you as you can.

"Better than I've imagined," he whispers when he pulls back.

You answer him with another kiss.

a/n: I hope y'all liked it :) I'm so here for domestic!Rooster

masterlist

taglist:

@justanothermagicalsara

@baju69

[copias-fluffy-asscheeks]

NSFW Copia HCS

*𖤐*

He's been a switch all his life, having bottomed more at first, and in his time as cardinal due to a lack of confidence and or inexperience he preferred to let another take the lead, but now as Papa he's got more confidence(at least when donning the paint, it boosts his confidence a lot) and he is comfortable topping more, but still likes to be taken charge off at times.

Topping or bottoming, I don't care. this man is noisy and loud as FUCK. Whimpering, whining, moaning, gasping, groaning, babbling, begging and growling, you name it.

He doesn't really have any sort of favorite position, but he does enjoy cowgirl a lot, and he WILL have you (s)creaming and seeing stars during doggy style.

Ever the pleaser, this guy has the biggest oral fixation. And with big I mean HUGE (wink wink.)

Like. If you identify as female and or wear panties, he'll ask you if he can take them if you'll be gone for a bit, if he leaves for tour or anything, or he'll just keep them in his room. Whatever the circumstances he'll take them, lay them out on his face and inhale your scent like it's cocaine. He'll lick at the fabric to taste you and smell you as he jacks off to the thought of eating you out.

If you are a guy or identify as one, he'll stick his fingers down his throat and suck them, or beg you to let him suck your fingers. (Or your cock, of course, strap on or a real one, he doesn't care.)

Gender does not matter at all. Ass is ass, taints are taints. Thighs are thighs.

If you peg him or yall do anal, bend him over a desk, counter top, table, anywhere. He is a sucker for feeling helpless and letting you rail him up the ass like a good little boy.

Praise kink. PRAISE. KINK. As cardinal, hearing a partner tell him how good he was was infernal paradise. He felt so small and like he wasn't enough, and there you were calling him nice things and praising him, it hit him like music to his ears and he'd disparately hump your leg as you kept on his running your hand through his hair and praising him.

Even as a papa, even though he has more confidence, he still loves being praised, he works so hard, and hearing you call him a good boy as he does whatever you ask, or even when he's topping, he melts.

Is he an old man? Yes. Are those hips SMOOTH AS FUCK? Yes. Like, we have all seem the Jesus He Knows Me vid. The way his hips thrust and sway so smoothly while the rest of his entire body is just still, just hanging there? That hip control. Yes please.

No matter if he puts on a tough act, he'll always end up begging and whimpering even though he's in control whenever he's about to cum.

He's a sucker for some cuddle sex. Just laying there whilst you slowly make love, still in a spooning position and hearing all your soft gasps and pleas is hypnotizing.

Definitely gets you juice boxes and chocolates (and lots of kisses and snuggles) as aftercare, making sure your sugar levels are right.

Perhaps he'll give you a massage too if you're sore and you allow him.

bite his thighs.

Lick and suck at his nipples. They are sensitive. Play with them for long enough and he'll easily cum from just that, it's perfect.

Leave hickeys and marks on his insecurity and you will never hear him complain about them again. Connected to the praise kink, he loves some worship, giving, but most definitely receiving too. His cute soft tummy deserves lots of kisses.

*𖤐*

A/N: Kind of short but I'm having brain errors and I can't think of anything, but once my errors are over perhaps I'll make a part two to this.

Taglist: @sweatandwoe @lightbluuestars @ghoulettka @copias-girl @papasmicstand @random-bl-fan

[mordeiswrld]

hello! sorry to bother but could you maybe do crimson knolastname (helluva boss) x reader hcs?

OFC!

Requested?: Yes

Fic Type: HCs

Time Started: April 21, 8:56 PM

Character: Vrimson Knowlastname x GN!Reader

Admin: L

Crimson looks like the type that’ll either try to hide or try to let you help with his mafia work, depends on your personality like if you’re shy and quiet he won’t tell you anything and keep his personal life and business life seperate but lets say you’re hot-headed and don’t mind getting your hands dirty (i mean you’re in hell, not much stopping you) then he’ll maybe start to try and get you to do things for him (if you want to of course. He may be a hardass mafia boss but he knows when and when to push things, well he does now at least)

Will bring you to expensive restaurants and get VIP sections since he’s trying all over again (RIP Mrs.Knowlastname) he’s taking his time with you while also trying to get a feel of how to have a healthy relationship

Meeting Moxxie is most likely gonna be a no-go since he has a one-sides rivalry with him

He’s only soft with you. Since he has a hard time being nice and gentle it’s gonna take him a while to get to this stage but once you break down the walls he put up best believe he’ll try his very best to treat you right even if it’ll take some practice

Touch starved like a mf. He’s never been used to physical affection so that’s also something he’ll have to get used to. Just slowly try to ease him into it and he’ll slowly start to appreciate it. But do it in private since he has a reputation to uphold.

Kisses with Crimson vary. It coukd go from an innocent peck to a full blown makeout in like 2 secs depending on how long you two have been together. He knows when and where things should be getting steamy and when to keep it low profile

Hugs are something he cherishes from you since he’s always busy and his family has been shredded to bits so he’ll make the most of it with you

Cuddles after work? Immaculate. He’s old and there isn’t much he can or wants to do in the house so cuddles are the next best thing but like everything else you have to ease him into it

This man is almost like the embodiment of toxic (Chaz Thurman ties with him on somethings) but he’s in it for the long run all you gotta do is hang in there

He doesn’t get jealous as much as you’d think he would. Like yes he’s self-confidence in relationships has depleted since his old one ended miserably but it’s not so low that he gets jealous over every male that looks your way. But if he does get jealous he’ll just send one of his henchmen to handle his dirty work for him

Dates arent that frequent since he's almost always busy but when they happen they are always well put together and well thought out

Big spoons all the way, but on occasion he’ll let you hold him but only when he’s too tired to move from whatever position he’s in

Def the type that back hugs you and sometimes even picks you up from behind just to scare you. He won’t scare you too bad but there will be times where he just wants to fuck with you

Loves giving forehead, hand, wrist, up the arm, thigh, etc kisses since hes’s ✨ Romantical ✨ like that

He smiles a lot more around you. A genuine smile not the kind he gave Millie when they met

Stares. A lot. He can’t even figure out why you’d wanna be with him, whether or not you know about his past or not he just can’t piece together how he managed to date someone like you

Always attends to your needs. He may act as if he’s annoyed by it and will call you “needy” he’ll either have his guards do it or he’ll do it himself. He’ll complain but he won’t ever leave you unsatisfied

Spoils you. Want that laptop? Already shipped to the house. Want a new car? Already in the garage. Want some kind of drug? Got the best of the best just for his partner.

Nicknames really depend. He may base it off how you act or how you look. But Sugar, sweetcheeks, sweetheart, love, darling, and hot stuff will be his go to’s

A/N: sorry its so short and terribly written...had a hard time thinking of things and honestly i have brain fog so i can’t really think fr and also SEVERELY unmotivatet but Ill redo it and or add some things in the future but enjoy!

Finished: April 26, 9:42 AM

[helloiamadrawer]

Random WBC Crew NSFW Headcanons (+ Killer T)

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!

U-1146

service top/top energy- tell him what you want and hes all hands on deck

knows that he has a big d but he doesn't really brag about it (cough cough 2048)

doesn't really jack off too much, low sex drive unfortunately

but when y'all do have sex he does not disappoint.

number one rule of 1146: never underestimate a neutrophil's oral skills cause LORD- (and I speak for all the neutrophils here 🙌)

will have you crying from his tongue swirling around your entrance transitioning to flicking your clit: he has all kinds of tricks up his sleeve

tell him how good he makes you feel plz and thank you he will return the favor..

as for p in v...

he's a tease at the start, sliding the tip of his cock against your wet slit before he enters STAWP-

he's barely vocal but you can hear some grunts and his hot labored breathing

U-4989

it's always a ride when it comes to 4989

service top/leaning bottom

first time with him was interesting cause he let you take the lead

yes, he was vocal lemme tell ya lol, his voice becomes a little shaky whilst praising and moaning your name as you ride him, you can say he's enjoying it too much but you cant help but to find it hot

"o-oh god, yeah,-ngh! fu-uck you're so good~ don't-don't stop~"

PLEASE thread your fingers through his fluffy hair while he eats you out

overstim king, cums the most out of the crew, the messier the better, he will have you sore but begging for another high surprisingly

aftercare=cuddles and kisses

U-2626

switch like a switchblade

he loves to see your reactions during the act, from your puffy red cheeks while sucking his dick to your fucked out face when his dick hits a new angle inside of you, noises of pleasure loudly slurring out of you

sure you may not see his reaction alot but he will show that fangy smile or reply with some lewd comment

average dick energy (a little girthy) but he sure knows how to use it

sex being the only chance too sweep his bangs over to finally see what his eyes are like..but you would have to work real hard for that right in 2626's terms

a sucker for leaving bites on your neck/neck kisses

U-2048

Mans is down for anything from quickies to threesomes he's such a slut

eyefucking king ™️ (don't ask why look at his eyes)

sends you to poundtown lmaooo

very much into receiving head but he ain't gonna complain about giving you head as well (just ask in the most smuttiest way possible :) )

ofc the most cockiest of all neutrophils has to have the filthiest mouth for dirty talk in the bedroom

"such a good fucking whore for me, aren't ya baby? I hardly even touched you and you're literally soaked~" he whisper in your ear with that stupidly smooth voice he has, pressing himself against you..in public. "Babe we are in the artery right now..save it for when we get somewhere private."

slight knifeplay kink

fond of any position that involves eye contact ughhhhhhhhhhhh

Killer T Cell

the most aggressive top you've ever seen

In the sheets he is a bully, pulling your hair, smacking your ass, dominating you the second you two hit the mattress

is actually very gentle the first time then after the a few more time he starts showing his rough side

he let you top ONCE and he made you swear to never tell anyone, (he was a total brat during the whole thing but ended up secretly liking it in the end)

goes a little overboard with love marks sometimes drawing a little blood which once he saw it he was bowing his head a million times apologizing

no escape from the many holds/positions with those big muscles 😫

call him daddy? it's all over for you

"So..you think you can call me daddy and get away with it? Well I got some news for you doll, you're 'bout to witness what punishment is coming to you~" 😈

[vivacissimx]

hellooo, maybe i remember the scene wrong, but why alysanne should be against Viserra becoming queen in a possible marriage with Baelon? ok she was commenting the fact that Viserra loved more becoming queen than Baelon himself, it may be, but it's a very weird thing, complaining about your daughter wanting to be queen when you yourself ARE a queen and you've said more than once that women can and should rule. thus without the whole question of 'she doesn't want her brother for love, time to marry her to some old guy she'd probably hate'. i even like alysanne but this was so nonsensical and fucked up lol there's no reason why she's so adamantly against Viserra getting the crown. like, if Baelon had ruled, why are you against him getting a consort?

Alysanne's POV on the Viserra/Baelon is multifold to me; obviously the first concern she raises is that Viserra does not love Baelon, she just wants to be Queen. This makes no sense because Aemon was alive at the time but her concerns over Viserra's motivations aren't unfair. To put it plainly, she thinks they'd be miserable together, as Viserra wants something from Baelon that he cannot provide/that she might eventually resent him for. There is a motherly concern for her kids' happiness that tracks with her character.

We should remember that this is post-Saera so it's not as if her own marriage was in the best place. I think Alysanne was made insecure about her parenting by Saera's situation. There was Jaehaerys who blamed Saera. There was Saera who was unrepentant. There was Alysanne who was used to her family members desiring her approval & goodwill, which allowed her to play peacemaker among them, but which neither Saera nor Jaehaerys gave two shits about during the whole saga. Suddenly Alysanne's position in her family was not what she thought it was. A lot of her actions that seem harsh could very well be coming out of that headspace.

However, the fact that she came up with such an honestly terrible solution to the Viserra debacle in the form of Theomore Manderly makes me think two things: a) Alysanne did actually believe it was a possibility that Viserra could seduce Baelon, and b) Alysanne's personal favoritism towards Baelon clouded her vision when it came to anything that concerned him. While I don't think Alysanne was against Baelon ever marrying again, I do believe knowing the heights to which he loved Alyssa meant that consort absolutely had to be someone Alysanne believed could make him personally happy, as Alyssa had. I think she thought that if Baelon consented to marrying Viserra (0.000001% probability) it would be a mistake; a mistake she could prevent.

This protectiveness was not shown to Viserra. After all, Viserra was the one being sent away to one of the most remote places possible for a princess of her dynastic credentials, without eyebrows being raised about the match. Her husband would be a grown man unlikely to be easily manipulated. Viserra's children would not be heirs to anything, to bolster her position. She'd have to rely on the goodwill of strangers.

(Remember when Alysanne told her mother Alyssa Velaryon that even if she was sent to the corners of the world she'd fly back to Jaehaerys? Well Viserra didn't have a dragon & unlike Alysanne, she had a mother who was willing to send her to that very corner to keep her away from her brother. Sickly sweet irony.)

It's frustrating though, because Viserra tried in several relatively mature ways to explain she did not want this betrothal before appealing to Baelon. Viserra spoke to Jaehaerys, who dismissed her & acted like it was out his hands (mf u are THE KING). Viserra told Alysanne that if Alysanne liked Theomore so much, she should marry him - i.e. would you want him in my position/appeal to empathy. Seducing Baelon (mission failed) was a last ditch effort of a sixteen year old crying out for help.

Ultimately Alysanne didn't want to listen, she wanted to be right. We know she was a convincing Queen, that she had a knack for bringing people around to her viewpoints, but Viserra & Saera showed us the other side to Alysanne's strong conviction: she didn't back down when she was wrong, either.

[shioritsumi]

More shit on Shen Tianyu:

-Shang Qingshui and Shen Tianyu have been friends since they were kids, on the grounds of them both being insufferable smart-asses at the time. Only Tianyu's family got the nicest side of him, everyone else got the authoritative snark. They became friend when classmates were complaining to Tianyu about Qingshui being mean and Tianyu just bullied him back. They exchanged insults for ten minutes and for a couple of 8-year olds, that's the equivalent of forming a lifelong friendship vow, practically marriage.

-Shang Qingshui and Shen Tianyu were roommates in college and totally dated at the time. They broke up and got back together no less than five times before Tianyu finally met Lianhua and actually married her. Qingshui was at their wedding and everything. (Lianhua was genuinely concerned for a while he might try to steal her husband. He found the concept hilarious bc why the fuck would he steal Shen Tianyu of all people she's funny.)

-Shang Qingshui is part of why Shen Tianyu got suspended from his job during his breakdown. He attempted their usual office banter, and when Tianyu didn't respond accordingly he got worse and worse until Tianyu snapped and lashed out at him. They've sort of smoothed it over since, but Qingshui isn't the sort of person who apologizes so they kind of just act like it never happened. No, no one understands their friendship. Not even them.

-"are you happy or sad there's no Mobei-jun here?" Shang Qingshui is insulted by both the assumption he'd WANT to see Mobei-jun after he literally was killed by the man in his previous life AND the assumption that there isn't anyone like Mobei-jun in their world at all. (The CEO of a rival company bears a striking resemblance to Mobei-jun and for his part Qingshui is actively trying to stay off his radar, he is NEVER getting put back in the demon spy position ever again and he is never providing his neck for anyone even VAGUELY resembling Mobei-jun.)

-Shen Tianyu used to be involved in martial arts when he was much younger, but eventually quit. He insists it's because he needed the extra time to study for his cram school and prep school and whatnot. Actually he has a highly competitive nature and he accidentally hurt some other kids in class and he was told he could either go to counselling to control his temper when dealing with students at a lower level than him, or he could just...quit. He quit.

-When he does get allowed back to work again, Tianyu's put in charge of training new employees and they start to call him Shizun bc they hear Bingge calling him that and think it fits.

-If they ever manage to meet SQQ and Binghe again, Bingge would definitely try to brag about how he's totally met his perfect shizun and SQQ can't even compare! Then Tianyu opens his mouth and reveals not only is their relationship not some perfect cutesy "housewife Bingge" and "gracious shizun" marriage, Bingge has to keep lecturing Tianyu on self-destructive habits and Tianyu keeps having to remind Bingge to try to be more chill about literally everything.

-Bingge has cut down on most of Tianyu's drinking and self-destructive behavior and despite being 30+, Tianyu has been an absolute BABY about the whole thing. He's allowed to only hold sharp objects when he's cooking, which he doesn't do often anymore because Bingge does that now. Bingge has also taken custody of all of Tianyu's lighters for the same reason as the knives. ("I'd light a lovely scented candle for you, but SOMEONE doesn't trust me with lighters anymore!" "I saw you get drunk and try to burn your tongue once, you're never getting them back.")

-Shen Jiuyuan may secretly be the OG SQQ transmigrated back into the modern world as a small child. Far as everyone knows, Jiuyuan has turned rather anti-social and awkward lately, but this has been attributed his parents' divorce and how ugly their relationship got afterwards. For his part, Shen Tianyu ADORES his son and dotes on him endlessly while Bai Lianhua seems to view her son as means to an end at this point.

What Tianyu can't fully understand is why his young son is so nervous around his new boyfriend Bingge. Is he scared bc Bingge is big and muscular and also new? Kids can be scared when new people come into their parents' lives, right? He's pretty sure the counsellor mentioned that, so as long as he reassures Jiuyuan that Bingge isn't going to replace him and he's still going to have time for him, it'll be okay, right?

Meanwhile from Jiuyuan's perspective: that is LUO BINGHE. His op disciple, the spirit of karmic vengeance, the man who took his arms and legs and sworn brother and even his LIFE and now he's the doting protective boyfriend to Jiuyuan's brand new dad???? What the fuck?

-there's a lot of OG people from PIDW around Shen Tianyu and for all his memorization of the story, Tianyu appears to be the only one who should notice who hasn't. (the rival CEO who looks like Mobei-jun may in fact actually BE the OG Mobei-jun, who knows.)

[tokuteasings]

Dating - Ian Yorkland

Dedicated to Ghost Wife~! Wherever you are, hun, I hope you enjoy!!

Warnings: It’s literally been 60 years since I watched them but I did my best~! I miss Ian so much man.

Ian is the definition of a loyal partner. A man who you can take home to your parents and have him charm the ever living pants off of them. He’s the kind of partner who will not hesitate to show up to your workplace with not only food, but whatever essentials you needed for the day, or just shows up for the fun of it because he missed you – and brought along a bouquet of flowers because he thought of you! He’s rather spontaneous in this aspect and in a way, you two almost never leave the honeymoon phase at all! He keeps this love alive, for as long as it can go. After all, with the line of work he is in and how fate works…no one knows exactly when either of you two will kick the bucket; Ian knows this well so he wants to ensure that every single little moment he spends with you is positive.

In fact…it’s was a strange transition from friendship to lovers. You two were such in a comfortable state and it was obvious that Ian was flirting with you. However, there was this…little line that wasn’t going to be crossed anytime soon unless one of you made that leap. Unsurprisingly, it was Ian. You had noticed he wasn’t flirting as much anymore, or not at all, actually. He had lavished his affections upon you with gifts, words, and even finger kisses. You had to work up the confidence to ask if he was serious and he gives you this soft smile you haven’t seen out of him, his eyes sparkling with this sort of electric energy as he whispers to you, “All I’ve wanted was to have you as my partner.” in this honest and earnest voice, nervousness twinged at the edges. He’s hesitant to have let you known but he hasn’t felt like this in years now. He’ll be hurt if you didn’t accept his feelings but would take it with grace. But when you confirmed that you liked it him, Ian had to stop himself from celebrating with the loudest cheer right then and there! Instead, he merely takes your hand into his, runs his thumb over your knuckles and presses a kiss to them with a wink of his eye. “Then I’ll see you tonight?”

He never forgets to tell you that he loves you. Verbally, physically, through gestures…to someone like Ian, he shows love in multitudes of fashions. Ian’s primary love languages are: verbal, physical touch, acts of service, gifts, and quality time. He’s proud of each and every crumble of affection he gives you and will not hesitate do to so in public. However, Ian has these sort of moments of sheer quietness as he thinks of what to say. He’s careful of his words when it comes to you, and it’s not a stifling quietness, but you know that he’s somewhere deep within his thoughts and needs something to help bring him out of them. But it’s during these hella quiet moments when he whispers you the most...saccharine things. Whispers of how much he loves you, mushy things. Ian always holds you close (hand or cuddling) whenever he does this. It’s like he never wants to let this go...and he won’t.

Ian is a loyal man and knows you won’t cheat on him or anything but he’s also not a jealous kind of person either. If anything, he’s pouty. He’ll dramatically talk off whoever’s ear is closest (Souji or Nossan) and complain, “Oh! My darling doesn’t love me anymore~!” and fake sob into their arms. Nossan gently has to pat his back and make him stop while Souji is just rolling his eyes and wants out. But there is no doubt that Ian is beyond clingy. He wants to cherish you until the sun dies and he is going to fucking do it. So expect him to send you constant texts about how much he misses you or the other Kyoryugers texting you to save them from Ian. 

Ian adores giving you nicknames! His faves are, “my treasure” “my darling” “my honey” and so on and so forth. He tends to make them up as he goes along and has a shit ton of them stored within that brain of his. The moments when he whispers them into your ear when you two are alone are perhaps...the best. He’s drawling out his English as he runs his hand up your leg and into your awaiting hand and kissing the knuckles with a gentle smile to his lips. It’s a simple set of nicknames with so much love poured inside and it makes you m e l t

Marriage is a goal for Ian but it’s also not a goal at the same time. There’s really no rush to head into it but there is this sort of mental image to Ian’s head about making you his and his alone. He will honestly wait for a couple of years, five or so, to pop the question. He’s nervous and you can tell because he took so much time to figure out the ring and how to propose. But he wants a family, he wants to settle down with you and share surnames and just exist in a space that exists for only the two for you and the two of you alone. Ian will wait for you once you’re ready but trust me when I say that marriage is going to be bliss for you two. If you two decide to have kids, Ian is the most dotting parent you have ever seen. It’s slightly overprotective but it’s more so that he wants his kiddos to be raised in a happy and healthy environment.

Arguments aren’t often but they do exist. They’re not heated but Ian wants to tell you his thoughts and will listen to yours. He wants to find solutions for this and if he’s getting angry, he tends to go off on his own to cool down. This rarely happens though and Ian normally wants to confront the problem right away. He’ll gently talk to you about it, having this sense of calm and wants to have this end in a way for all parties to walk away satisfied. He doesn’t half ass things and Ian rarely gets upset with anything. So these are pretty short and solved rather quickly.

PDA Monster. This fucker legit cannot keep his hands off of you and you know it. He’s always going to be holding your hands somehow, pressing a kiss to your knuckles and smirking at your flushed face. He loves wrapping his arms around you and kisses in public are also rather often. He tends to give you random surprise hugs and kisses outta nowhere and honestly it’s some of the best because his love had boiled and simmered until they reached a point where he cannot hide them! He has to hug you! Kiss you! He’s clingy as hell and will just fucking show up to your work just to get some free kisses. His favorite kisses to do in public are knuckle and finger kisses, because he’s such a tactile person, he has to show love to his other favorite method of affection - physical touch. 

Ian’s dates are fifty-fifty, not in a bad way but more so you two take turns on deciding what kind of things to do today. He’s just as happy to do indoor dates as outdoor dates. More often than not though, Ian will pick a date where the two of you will have fun. He tends to pick food places that you both like and will just spend the date feeding you! If he had to pick a date place that he wants, he would probably pick some sort of museum or botanical garden. You two can walk and talk, discuss the finer things in life and enjoy some quiet time together. He’ll probably say some cheesy as hell things like, “This piece of art is beautiful but not as beautiful as you.”

Dating Ian is a dream in itself. He always tends to end dates with a gentle kiss on the lips while holding your hand and then kisses the back of your hand. He’s the partner that wakes you up at 3am in the morning just to go star watching or comes by in the most ungodly hours of the day because he heard you were sick and made you soup. Ian is just someone who was probably made to be your soulmate and there is no other way around it or about it. But to be honest, the day he finds out that he wants to marry you is when you did something that clicked in his head. A lazy morning where he is reading a book and you’re on your phone, you let out a silly little laugh at a post and he glances over at you with this knowing smile and already is making plans to propose. But then he’ll reach over and kiss you, gentle, and whisper, “I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” and it’s probably a proposal in itself but...you wouldn’t have it any other way. 

[ifidiedinadream]

I have soft request. Joel/reader have been on several dates all gone really well and both want to say i love you but are unsure how to

here you are friend 😌😌

Joonas has always been able to tell if something's up with Joel, their friendship so deep and long-lasting that all he needs is only a look. And today, Joel's been weird ever since he opened the studio door and stepped inside.

Joonas raised his eyebrows at him in a wordless question, but when Joel only shrugged and grabbed his guitar, Joonas realized there was no forcing him to speak. So he just tried to forget about it and move on to work, and for most of the day he succeeded, but now everyone has got back home except for the two of them and Joonas figures it's now or never.

"So what is it?" he asks out of the blue, Joel glancing at him with a frown.

"What?"

"You've been acting odd all day," Joonas says. "Forgetful. Distracted. Like you're inside your head. What's wrong?"

Joel doesn't answer, just lowers his gaze to his hands in his lap in the seat beside Joonas in front of the computer. He tries to just shrug it off again, but Joonas' gaze on him is insistent, and eventually he sighs and lets his back collapse against the backrest of his chair.

"I have a date with my girlfriend tonight," he says. Joonas squints at him, confused as hell: he never once complained about anything related to you, he'd confidently say Joel looks happy to be with you. Sure, Joonas still doesn't know you all that much, you and Joel have only been dating for some months; but Joonas could tell you had a positive effect on Joel's mood, he's been happier ever since he met you, and he always talks about you fondly, like he really cares a lot. So what's this change of heart about, now?

"And?"

Joel still doesn't speak. He looks like he's trying to find the words, to gather his thoughts. Joonas doesn't rush him.

"It's scary," he says. "No one has ever made me feel like she does and it's so fucking terrifying. Joonas, I - I think I'm in love. I thought love just wasn't something that happened to me, but here I am now and it's so… it's too much."

"That's fucking good news actually," Joonas says, almost unable to contain his excitement. "Being in love is great, man."

"Not for me," Joel says. "Not for me. I'm gonna ruin everything - just -"

"Hey, hey, dude, calm down," Joonas says and grabs Joel's hand which had started to move in the air. "Don't let your fears get the best of you, just try and let yourself experience this as it is. This is great, I'm telling you. Don't worry about it."

Joel seems to cool down with his hand in Joonas'. He's trying to get his breathing under control. "What if I tell her and she doesn't say it back? That would definitely break me."

"She will say it back. I'm sure," Joonas says. He might not know you very well yet but no unloving person could ever win Joel's heart like you did. And he's seen the way you look at Joel, the way you touch him and how sweet you are to him.

"So… you think I should tell her tonight?"

"Sure," Joonas confirms. "If that's what you feel, there's no reason to keep it in. There's nothing to worry about."

Joonas lets go of Joel's hand and the latter immediately brings his fingernails to his mouth. Joonas searches his eyes with his, smiling reassuringly at him until the tension in Joel's face dissipates.

"Okay?" Joonas asks.

Joel just nods, then averts his gaze.

***

You're finishing applying lipstick when the bell rings, the sound making your guts twist. It's date night and you've been looking forward to it all day.

Your breath catches when you open the door - Joel's wearing a jacket you've never seen before, his hair is up in a bun but not messily like it usually is. He's smiling a somewhat timid smile and his eyes are kind.

"You're so beautiful, baby," he says. "These are for you."

You didn't see the roses peeking from behind his back, but now that they're in front of you, all you can do is wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him. Joel is surprised at first, but then he kisses back.

"They're gorgeous," you say. "Thank you."

You accept the flowers and go find a vase where you can put them. When you're done, you and Joel go to his car.

You feel so in love at the moment, like your heart could burst from it. Joel is holding your hand on your way to the car and it's enough to make your chest feel all warm and fuzzy.

"Does the outfit and the roses mean we're doing something different today?" you ask once you're in the passenger seat.

"Sorry to disappoint, but not really," Joel says, laughs. "It's just a restaurant. A nice one, I guess, but still."

His face seems to fall a bit, gaze lowering. Then he starts the engine.

"There's something I wanna tell you. It's the reason behind the fanciness."

He looks worried, which worries you in turn. He has his hand on your thigh during the drive, but you feel that it's sweaty.

"Should I be concerned?" you ask after a while when you can tell he's not relaxing. You regret it immediately, the last thing you want is to add any stress.

"What? No, no. I don't think so. God, I hope not."

He's weird today. You decide not to push it - though you must admit you're very curious about this thing he wants to tell you.

The date goes very well, all concerns from earlier seemingly forgotten as you and Joel eat and chat and share a few meaningful, long looks. Your sensation from earlier only intensifies: you're so in love and it gets even stronger when you're in Joel's car again, tenderly kissing with your hands on his neck. It's nothing like the fierceful make out sessions that always precede the sex; his lips on yours are gentle, his tongue slow as if he's savoring you. You feel full, incredibly yet peacefully content like never in your life; and you want to tell him, damn if you want to take it off your chest. You love him. You love him so much.

But then Joel pulls back, slightly panting, eyes vaguely wild and the worry comes back.

"Joel?" you ask softly, fingertips on his cheek in what you hope is a soothing gesture.

"I don't know how to say it - I'm sorry. I'm terrified."

"Terrified of what?" you try to keep your voice even, but you won't deny that his words and nervousness only add to the worry.

"Of what you might say. Of this whole thing, actually."

"Me?" your patience is starting to waver. "What thing? Joel, please, I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong."

Unexpectedly, he reaches his hand to grab yours on his cheek. He presses it even more against his skin. His eyes are boring into yours, a serious, grave even, expression on his face. You can tell something is coming - so you wait, even though your heart is like a jackhammer in your chest.

"I love you," he says then, keeping your eyes locked.

It's like a flower blooms in your chest - a new, beautiful life inside you all of a sudden. You almost start crying but you simply pull his face to yours to kiss him again, urgently this time.

"Baby," you say, the happiness making your voice shake, "I love you too. So much. I've been meaning to tell you for a while but I simply didn't know how to."

He relaxes visibly, breathing out like he had stopped. The smile that follows is the most beautiful he's ever given you, so big and bright and making his dimples pop out. He leans in to kiss you again, and again.

"I know this is hard for you," you say when you're both calmer, holding each other tenderly in bliss. Joel has told you about his experiences with dating and love, you know he's extraordinarily cautious and afraid he'll end up hurt again. Which is why he seemed so tense earlier - love is a sensitive topic for him. "I know you're scared. I'll show you you don't have to be. I'm right here with you."

Joel doesn't say anything back, but he doesn't have to. The gratitude, happiness, love in his gaze is enough of an answer.

[no-droids]

Out of a Trillion

gif credit: @bestintheparsec​

Part Fifteen of the Rough Day Series

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 12.6K

Warnings: uhhhh so there is a bit of SMUT in this one, not too much and I imagine if you’ve made it this far then that won’t be too big of a deal LMFAOOO uh some ANGST and my attempt at HURT/COMFORT and also violence/blood/injury description, so look out for that!

A/N: I started writing this before the season finale aired and I know we all want a bit of goodness and softness after it, but hopefully this will be okay!  I’ll start working on the next part tonight

***

Everything changes and yet somehow nothing does.  

From that point on, it’s like… like you’re both just suspended in this perpetual state of wondering, waiting for the other shoe to drop.  You know he said it’s up to you, but what the fuck?  Look whenever you want?  That’s way too much fucking pressure, he’s out of his mind.  You’re not equipped to handle that, who does he think you are?  Someone that can just… decide things?

And it’s not like you’re afraid of the commitment, or that you don’t want to look.  You do, but every single time a moment comes, it just never… feels right.  You don’t know what you’re waiting for, what feeling or meaning you’re expecting to magically present itself to you, but you can’t shake the idea that there should be more to it than just randomly deciding to open your eyes at some point, shouldn’t there?  Din said there was no ceremony, nothing fancy, and he gave you permission to look because he said he’s not allowed to ask outright, whatever that means.  It’s a standing offer because you guess he isn’t allowed to prompt it for some reason, but unfortunately, that leaves you in just about the shittiest position possible.  Now everything falls to you—initiation, execution, and consequence—and Maker knows you’ve never been that great making decisions under pressure.

But you do want to look.  Sort of.

Sort of.  Because… well, this probably won’t make that much sense, but you’re afraid.  Mostly for him.  What if he’s making a mistake?  It sounds stupid, but you’re afraid of what this means for him, the sheer perpetuity of this decision he’s now expecting you to make for the both of you.  This isn’t your creed, not yet, and you feel like there’s still so much to learn.  Not only about the Mandalorians and his culture, but about him.  To know is to love, and so you’ve taken to asking any nonsensical question you can think of whenever he’s around.  Though you weren’t expecting it at first, you’ve learned that he’ll always give you some sort of an answer.  Some of the highlights include:

“How old are you?”  (“I don’t know.  Probably mid-forties, but there’s no way to tell anymore.”)

“You don’t know your birthday?”  (No, I… think it was in the winter.”)

“What’s your last name?”  (“Djarin.”)

“Do you have any freckles?  Or moles, or birthmarks?”  (“No, none that I’ve ever noticed.”)

“Do you cut your own hair?”  (“Yes, but it’s been awhile.”)

“Do you have dimples?”  (“I don’t smile in mirrors.”)

“Are your earlobes attached or detached?”  (“What kind of question is that?”)

And so forth.

He also gives you so many fucking opportunities to look.  One right after the other.  You used to think Din was incredibly trusting with how often and voluntarily he decided to take his helmet off around you—he didn’t wait a single day once he first felt your hands on his skin to take it off in your presence.  You remember being blown away by his unexpected willingness to part with it after hearing so many tales of the Mandalorians from Kuill; stunned by the ever-present ability to just open your eyes at any moment and that’s all it would ever take.  One simple movement—life-altering, and so easy.

Now you find it nearly impossible, muscle memory just won’t allow it to happen naturally.  And yet somehow, avoiding it is like stepping around land mines.  He doesn’t trick you—he doesn’t set it up, he doesn’t surprise you or anything, but he’s… less careful.  When the kid is awake, Din acts normal—he walks around fully armored, he goes on hunts and returns a few days later with a quarry, teaches you more self-defense techniques in the cleared out hull while the kid watches and giggles at your pain from the safety of his floating crib.  But when the baby goes to sleep, he’s taken to lounging with the helmet off.  He only used to remove it to eat, sleep, or… do other things with you, but he never used to take it off just… because.  Now he does.  Now he’s less careful about darkness, less strict about how much light he allows to touch him.

Now he shares every single meal he can with you, sitting just off to the side so you’ll never see him on accident but providing the free exercise thereof should you ever decide to seek it out purposefully.  Now he interrupts you in the middle of your complaining about the bruises on your knuckles just to lift the rim of his helmet the slightest bit, lean down and give you a quick kiss, and then lower it back into position again before you can even catch a glimpse of the lips you only recognize by touch.  Now he keeps the light on when he goes to take a shower, he leaves the door cracked.

It’s starting to give you heart palpitations, you swear.  At one point, he lets you to see the entire back of his head and it nearly launches you into a fucking crisis.

It’s the middle of the night and he just got up from bed to use the restroom.  He’s quiet enough not to wake you on the way over, but then across the hull and with his back to you, Din flicks the light on in the small bathroom without closing the door.  Immediately rousing you after being so accustomed to the pitch blackness, you lift your head from the warmth of your shared pillow just enough to blearily make out the sight of him leaning a hand up against the wall and dropping his head down, and it takes you a second to realize that it’s actually him.

Soft, dark brown locks ending at his collar but somehow looking longer than you ever imagined when you’ve run your fingers through them.  Cascading in shaggy, natural curls—tall, broad shouldered and trim waisted, naked as the day he was born.  Your heart starts to squeeze in your chest and it just never stops, and for the second time in your life, you feel like he woke you up in the middle of the night just to show you one of the most beautiful things the universe ever decided to hide.  There are trillions of people in this galaxy and how many of them have ever seen a sight that would compare?  He’s just a man, you don’t think a single person would bat an eye.  But to you, he’s… his own monument.  Constructed in honor of everything dazzling that happens to lie just underneath something else.  A breathtaking view, even from this angle, that could only ever mean something to you.

Would you ever be able to know him?  No, that’s not phrased right.  What you mean is that… over the course of all your time together, you remember thinking that if he ever took his helmet off, he could walk right by you and you’d never be able to tell the difference.  He could be anybody.  There are trillions of people in this galaxy and how many of them have the same features?  Brown hair, brown eyes, sunkissed skin that only one person is allowed to kiss, not even the sun.  Would you ever be able to know him?

Staring at his back in the blissful silence of hyperspace and feeling like the Maker himself is letting you in on one of his proudest secrets, some wild thought suddenly occurs to you that… you think you would.  Somehow.

You can’t explain it and you’d never be able to prove it, but you feel like if you lined up every single person in this galaxy shoulder to shoulder, all however many trillions of them there are, then you could walk the entire length of it and somehow come to a stop right where he’s standing.  Every single time.  You feel like you could do it in the pitch black.  You could do it with your eyes closed.

And, he must just be so gorgeous.  Maybe not in a traditional sense (or maybe in one, you’d have no way of knowing), but mostly in just… the rawest sense imaginable.  Not like how symmetry and straight lines are gorgeous, but how a mountain is gorgeous.  Rocky, dangerous, steep, the product of constant conflict between two immovable sides.  He’s got scars littering his body, one of which you remember giving him yourself with a cauterizer on his lower back.  He holds himself like his shoulders could tell their own story if anyone ever asked them; built to endure, weighed down and made strong with a collection of burdens he chooses to strap to them, steel or otherwise.

You don’t want to close your eyes once Din slowly turns around to look at you, but it happens anyways and you’ve never been so disappointed in your own cowardice.

But then, in a way, it could just be your own self-preservation instincts taking over.  No matter how stunning and life changing the spectacle would be, why would anyone ever stare directly at a supernova?  For so long, you’ve told yourself that his face is something you shouldn’t ever see on principle, but in a way, you suppose it’s fair he put this decision on you because he always has, even from the very beginning.  He trusted you to keep your eyes closed for months on end and you never had a problem with it, so why is it so hard to open them now that he’s given you permission?

A couple weeks of that, and you start to worry that you’re unintentionally rejecting him.

It’s the last fucking thing you want, but how can you avoid it?  Din is… different, he notices.  He’s made a living off of finding things that inherently don’t want to be found—he knows all too well what secrecy looks and sounds like, he’s quick and observant and you don’t stand a single fucking chance against him in all the years of his practice.

But strangely, for as often as you feel like you can figure out what he’s thinking without ever seeing his face—realizing what his intentions are ahead of time and not feeling slighted when he phrases things a certain way or just chooses not to speak at all—you never truly realized how much that extended back to you.

He knows you, too.  He told you so.

For some reason, you didn’t even consider the possibility of it working just as well the other way around.  That you could choose to stay silent, and he’d know why.  You feel like the mystery of him just eclipses you in every single way that you don’t consider even yourself much of anything, much less something else to be contemplated and understood.  While you wouldn’t necessarily qualify the conflict as not being ready to commit, he seems more than willing to respect it regardless and nothing about the way he treats you or interacts with you changes.  Normally you’d say it’s like he forgot the whole thing ever happened, but it’s almost the exact opposite.  Like he was just naturally expecting it from you.

Are you truly so predictable, you wonder?  He said you’d say no.  Was he right?  You’re not saying no, you just… can’t remember the word for yes right now.  It’s right there on the tip of your tongue and the harder you work for it, the more frustrated you become with your own inability to find it.

But, instead of waiting, you think Din just decides to continue the conversation with the promise to come back to you when you finally figure it out.

Sometimes, especially when he’s gone, you find yourself thinking about what moment you’d choose, if you could.  Since you can never seem to find the right one naturally, how would it all go if you could construct everything yourself?  Where would it be?  Naboo?  No, that’s too cheesy.  One thing you and Din both have in common is your practicality, your respective propensities for wanting to tackle one thing at a time and not needing frills attached to something in order to find a deep connection to it, a personal value to it.  You weren’t even bothered when he didn’t claim you as a girlfriend to Peli, that’s how reasonable you used to be about labels.  Now you’re your own antithesis, trying to conjure meaning where there isn’t any just so you don’t feel like you’re the one who’s ripping it away.  You want this decision to feel as permanent as it is.  You want it to be a happy thing, something that happens when you’re both so in love that you can’t bear to have metal separating you any longer.

You think… you’ll just know it when the time comes.

***

“I have to leave,” comes Din’s hushed voice through the darkness, and even though it’s the first thing either of you have said in hours, it sounds frustrated.  Like it’s been bothering him for awhile and he’s just now finally telling you.  “I… fuck, I can’t stay here, I should’ve left a long time ago.”

You whine softly into the pitch black, turning your head into the pillow and curling your fingers into his hair.  “But it’s still so early…”

“It’s mid-afternoon,” he groans back, dropping his forehead down against your skin and breathing hot air along it.  “We’ve been parked here for hours, I don’t know how you can sleep so long.”

“I’m not sleeping,” you pout, before gently dragging your nails down his scalp and feeling his whole body shudder with it.  “Earlier I was.”

“Mhm,” he murmurs, leaning down to give you one last long, slow kiss.  You sigh when his tongue comes out and glides soft and hot against your lips, tightening your grip on his hair.

But soon he pulls away, lifting the covers from over his head and pushing up from between your spread legs.  “This one shouldn’t take long,” he gruffs, planting both palms next to your head and kissing you once more in the darkness, dipping his tongue into your mouth this time.  You moan softly and taste yourself on him, moving to wrap your arms around his broad shoulders, but he breaks the kiss and leans back before you can, preemptively avoiding the possibility of getting lost in it.  “I’ll be back around dawn.”

You’ve known it was coming for hours now, so you’re able to play it off way better this time around.  “Okay,” you breathe softly, dragging your palms up his bare chest as he lifts himself tall over your body.  The slight disappointment underneath is so masterfully hidden, you’re almost positive you’re going to get away with it.  “Be safe.  Please.”

But then… well.  Bounty hunter.

Din pauses for a moment like that in between your open legs, letting you slowly slide your hands down his ribs and over the lines of his stomach.  You wait for him to move, find his clothes so you can get around and make some food, wake the kid up from his nap in an hour or so.  Can’t stay in bed all day, no matter how much you wish you could.

Only, he still hasn’t moved and you start to become concerned.  “Din?”

But then he suddenly groans like he just can’t help it, grabbing both of your spread legs and easily lifting them up.  You make a sound of confusion as he maneuvers them until they’re pressed together and draped over one of his shoulders, and then his hips drop and push forward to slide himself thick and perfect into your blazing hot cunt.

Still drenched and swollen from cumming in his mouth so many times earlier, you gasp and he just groans louder, a ragged thing scraping out of his throat while you struggle through blind and unexpected euphoria to reach him.  But you can’t—Din hugs your legs tight to his chest and settles in just like this, turning his head to drag soft lips and a hot tongue over your ankle before he starts fucking you.  Right up against your g-spot, with your whole lower body in the way and preventing you from slowing him down.

You just have to clap both hands over your mouth just to keep quiet since you can’t reach him.  You feel his teeth sink into the meat of your calf, hips pistoning far beyond your reach and it feels so fucking good that you almost don’t hear his gritted words against your skin.

“I have to go,” he groans, repeating it over and over until his voice begins to pull tight and it just sounds like a plea.  “I have to go, I have to go, I h—have to… h-have to go, I have to, I have to, I have…”

*** 

When Din finally steps foot out of the ship, fumbling with his rifle and cursing quietly through the modulator, it’s the middle of the night some twelve hours later.

***

Steady…

Steady………

Fire.

—and… you blink as bark splinters.

Did you…?  You look down at the blaster in your hand and then back to the ginormous charred tree trunk for a few seconds, wondering if you’re just seeing shit.

No, it’s real.  You actually fucking did it.  You…

… hit the target.

All of a sudden, your ecstatic giggle echoes loudly throughout the foresty autumn wonderland around you, reds and oranges and yellows crunching under your feet while you start to dance.

“Hey!  See that, bug!?”  You call out, shoving the blaster into your waistband and shimmying up to your enthralled audience of one, who just so happens to be smiling as wide as you are as he’s scooped up into your arms.  “I hit the target, I hit the target,” you sing, beginning to sway the baby back and forth as he squeals, laughing while you bounce him.  “No demon powers necessary, little man!  I figured it out, I just have to use one hand instead of two.  You can retire now, you’re the right age for—”

A twig snaps in the distance somewhere to your left, and you quickly spin around while reaching for the blaster behind your back.

Except all you see is a blue Twi’lek standing out amongst all the fall foliage, his hands cuffed behind his back and stumbling a few steps at a time while a considerably taller suit of beskar shoves him forward.  You relax and immediately turn to look down at the ground, trying to bite your lip so you don’t smile too hard while they both approach.  You did it—finally, you did it, you’re on top of the fucking universe right now.

You wait for them to pass by and move up the open metal ramp to the carbonite chamber, but then Din apparently decides to pause when he’s directly behind you, yanking the quarry to a sudden halt.  

You know you should probably turn around to address them, but you can’t hide the happiness from your expression, it’s way too obvious.  Though, after a moment, you decide to shyly turn to face the two men while continuing to bounce the baby in your arms, hoping that his and your matching expressions of excitement aren’t too terribly inappropriate right now.

Din looks from you to the splintered bark on the tree, and then back to you again, before slowly tilting the helmet up in a way that feels… proud of you.

“Congratulations,” he finally says, and you can hear the genuine smile hidden in the modulated drawl.

“Thank you,” you beam up at him, feeling the blood rush to your cheeks.  “Was pretty awesome.”

“I’m sorry I missed it,” he tells you, and you don’t know why, but the tone of his voice makes you go so warm.  It’s not like he’s openly flirting with you, but coupled with your giddiness and sounding like that in front of a bounty he caught in record time, it just makes your heart fucking throb for him.

“It’s alright,” you murmur, shuffling your feet through the crunchy leaves below and trying to play it as cool as possible.  You have company.  “I’ll be able to do it again.”

“Let’s see it, then.”  He tips the helmet over at the tree, and you look between him and the unfamiliar quarry for a second, not used to Din just… ignoring their existence entirely for you.  It’s not like the Twi’lek has said anything or inserted himself into the situation at all, but still.  Din has one hand latched onto the cuffs behind his back to prevent him from booking it, but other than that, it’s like he’s pretending he’s not even there.

“Uh…”  You immediately feel yourself get nervous.  “I can… try.”

He nods one single time in silent encouragement, and you slowly turn to face the tree once more.  The kid stays cradled in your arm while you reach for the blaster in your waistband, removing it and using your longest finger to flick the safety off with a practiced fluidity.  Then, extending it out in front of you and taking advantage of your newfound strategy of only firing with one hand, you line up the sight and pull the trigger.

You wish you could say it hits.  It would be so fucking cool and impressive if you hit the target like that, wouldn’t it?  But it doesn’t hit.  It misses, like usual.  Miserably.  And then an amused snort comes from behind you.

“Right stormtrooper, you are—” you hear an unfamiliar accent begin to snark, but the rest of it turns into a garbled howl the second Din jerks his elbow back to slam it in his face.

You whip around just in time to see a cascade of blood pouring down blue lips and sharp teeth—holy fuck.  You gasp and take a step backwards with the kid, not horrified by the sudden display of violence (not after Din spent an hour teaching you how to do that, too) but not quite expecting it at that moment, either.  But then, well… that’s the second time he broke a quarry’s nose for addressing you with disrespect.  There was that other one he choked, you’re pretty sure—though you can’t remember exactly what initiated that.

Din yanks the bounty up the ramp without another word, leaving both you and the kid there to process while he shoves him through the hull and towards the carbonite chamber none too kindly.  However, by the time he seals the quarry to his fate and eventually makes his way back to you, you just… 

Fuck, you feel so stupid.

You shouldn’t even bother, what’s the point?  All that practice and nothing to show for it.  If you can’t even hit a stationary target with the pressure of others watching, what makes you think you’ll have any hope at all in a situation where you actually need to shoot?  Are they gonna stand still for you?  Are they gonna be as wide as a fucking treetrunk?  You’re horribly embarrassed, so downtrodden in the face of a cruel taunt that you don’t even want to look at Din when he steps in front of you.

“Hey, just try it again,” he says without delay, but the damage has already been done.  It’s not his fault, you’re just… not the kind of person who is meant to shoot a blaster, maybe.  

“Ah… it’s alright,” you look out and smile sadly at the line of trees surrounding you, wondering how it’s possible that you only managed to hit one of them this whole time.  You don’t see it, but Din quickly touches the tips of his fingers to the side of his helmet twice before you look back at him.  “I hit it earlier.  I did, I promise.  You can see the mark if you look.”

His glove reaches out to brush your hair back, so unbelievably gentle after using the same arm to shatter bone just a few minutes ago.  “I know you did.  It was a perfect shot, you hit dead center.  I see it.”

“I did it with one hand, that’s why I tried the thing,” you mumble stupidly, looking down at your feet.  Dumb.  Dumb.

A strand of your hair is tucked behind your ear.  “Wish I was here.”

You glance over at him, feeling your expression suddenly go soft with a wave of affection.  It stops all the harsh criticisms, halting your negativity in its tracks and replacing it with just… soft, abstract things.  Mostly just warm, nonsensical fluff, but one clear and resounding thought breaking through.  You wish he was here, too.

“Maybe I’ll get good at it eventually,” you sigh, slowly handing him the blaster with the barrel pointed down and away from both of you.  Din carefully takes it from you, tucking it away somewhere on his utility belt while you gaze out at the designated target and victorious char mark decorating it.  “Or hopefully just okay at it at some point.  I guess I just need to practice more, right?”

“That’s right,” he tells you warmly, catching your free wrist.  “Try using this one when you do.”  And then a lightweight piece of metal is gently pushed into your empty hand.

Your expression furrows while you quickly look down at it, and—

You go utterly still at the gift, not even knowing what to think.

The first thing that you notice is the craftsmanship.  Brilliant, structurally flawless, the perfect size to fit your hand.  You don’t recognize the specific kind of metal that was used—definitely not beskar—but you think it might be constructed from the same material as Din’s old armor.  Dull silver, but with reflective chrome filigree accents around the handle, trigger, and safety.  It’s uniquely constructed and unlike any weapon you’ve ever seen before—no hard lines or edges, just a soft fluidity to the design that’s so aesthetically pleasing, it doesn’t really even resemble a blaster at all.

You can feel the visor silently studying your reaction while you continue marveling, noticing something new every time you look.  The safety is towards the back of the chamber, just like he said it’d be.  The sight is electronic, and you examine the way it’s built directly into the barrel.

Are those extra magnets on the inside?  Is this able to micro-adjust the plasma release for the best shot?  Holy stars, it must have cost a fortune.

“Din, this is…” you can’t decide where you want to look—the gorgeous crafting, the custom design, or him.  Standing so close to you, not saying a word while you search for the right ones.  “It’s so beautiful, I…”

“Was made for you,” he murmurs.  “Had to be.”

You look back down at the blaster to stop your eyes from tearing up.  He didn’t have to do this.  This is so… sweet, such a lovely thing to do.  Don’t cry, don’t cry—

“What is this?” You ask breathlessly instead, rotating the gun until he can see the symbol branded on the handle.  You recognize that it’s his signet, but you never bothered to ask him what it’s called, you never saw it as your place.  It’s an animal of some sort, one with a giant spike attached to its skull, and you’re glad you’ve never come face to face with one.

“It’s a mudhorn,” he answers quietly.  “They’re… dangerous animals.  Fiercely protective, preferring solitude.  The kid saved me from one a few days after I met him.  It’s… the mark of my clan.”

How fitting, you think, and an honor.  Perfect for him, and a bone-deep reminder of your two favorite people in the galaxy on your hip wherever you go.

“Thank you,” you tell him, hoping the sincerity in your voice sounds anywhere close to how you feel.  You haven’t even had it in your hand for longer than a minute and it’s already your prized position, the most important thing you’ve ever called yours.

Din nods and takes a small step back.  “Now hit the target.”

Feeling invigorated and renewed in every single way, you keep the kid tucked firmly in one arm while raising your blaster with the other.  The safety clicks off and your back straightens, chin lifting until something about the angle feels… right.  The trigger moves easily under your fingertip, and there’s almost no kickback considering how light the weapon is.  What you’re not expecting is the pure white beam of plasma shooting out of the barrel—unlike any blaster you’ve ever seen before—but then the immediate sight of it hitting the tree dead center sends a roar of triumph through your ears.  Fuck yes.

“Look at that!”  Din calls out over the kid’s happy squeal, and there’s nothing you can do to stop your loud whoop of victory.  Even though you know it only hit with the addition of those extra magnets to correct your terrible aim, that still feels so good—you feel so fucking powerful and dangerous.  You glance over to Din with a wide smile, but then his arm extends out towards the trunk directly next to the one with charred bark.  “Hit that one.”

You automatically swing the blaster in that direction and shoot.  A few pieces of wood split on impact and send sharp bits flying as soon as the bright white beam collides with it.

“That one,” Din tells you, and then bark splinters a half second later.  “That one.”  Bark splinters.  “That one, that one, that one—” hit, hit, hit, white plasma flying through the air and bark splintering in rapid succession.

He stops and spins around, pointing to a tree at the very edge of the clearing.  “That one?”

It’s furthest away but the trunk’s diameter is enormous.  As you lift the blaster, you know you’re likely to get it easily with this sophisticated weapon, even across the considerable distance.  So instead, feeling like nothing at all can touch you right now and wanting to see how smart the aim mechanism is, you raise up a few degrees higher before pulling the trigger.  Pale plasma launches from the barrel, and then one of the tree’s most prominent branches comes creaking and crashing to the ground right where you split it.

You’re beaming by the time Din turns back to you, the most excited you’ve ever been with your own progress.  He holds there for a moment while you lower your blaster and wait for him to speak, both of you looking at each other and not moving, until suddenly you hear his voice coming back to you.

Hit the target and I’ll marry you.

One of Din’s hands slowly comes up to the edge of his helmet, but before you can even process the implication behind the gesture, you’re immediately looking down at the crunchy leaves under your feet and clearing your throat.

There’s a beat of silence where you stare down at the dead foliage and wonder why the fuck you just did that.  Right in front of him, right to his face, too startled at how quickly you were being confronted with the possibility that you responded in an equally startled way.  It was instinctual, automatic and entirely out of your control, but that doesn’t mean you don’t want to take it back.

But… you can’t take it back.  That’s the way things are, and after a few moments, you hear his boots begin to cross the distance to you.

“Come on,” Din murmurs gently through the modulator, carefully taking the blaster from your hand and clicking the safety back on again.  “We have to get going.  The fifth quarry is far.  Three day trip through hyperspace.”

He doesn’t sound upset or disappointed by your unintentional rejection, thank the Maker.  You want to explain yourself somehow, but it appears it isn’t necessary in the slightest.  His arm wraps around your lower back and he leads both you and the baby back up the open ramp of the Crest, squeezing you close enough to his side that you have to learn how to walk in a different way to stop yourself from tripping over his boots.

The helmet turns and presses to the top of your head while you focus on moving straight.  “Proud of you,” Din murmurs quietly, and your chest fills with enough air that you’d be worried about floating away if he wasn’t latched onto you so tightly.

He eventually releases you and walks over to the armory, pressing a button to unlock the doors while you hold the kid and watch him start to remove the multitude of weapons strapped to his body.

Maybe… maybe this isn’t the right time, but something brave surges up inside you.  After receiving the most precious gift imaginable from him, hitting all those targets and hearing him say that he’s proud of you, you’re buzzing with just enough energy that for better or worse, it makes you open your mouth and ask.

“Could I… come with you this time?”

Din nearly jerks upright and looks over at you immediately, but he takes a while in responding.  You hope he sees it in your eyes.  You hope he sees just how much you don’t want to be stuck here again when this is possibly the one time you’d be able to tag along.  It’s a bullshit quarry, one he could do in his sleep, and you’ve been getting increasingly restless while stuck on this ship.

When Din eventually does respond… well, judging from his shift in tone, you’re assuming he was just shocked at the question and didn’t take any of that time to actually consider his answer.

“No.”  Short.  Unfeeling, and not sorry about it in the slightest, before turning back to return the blasters you were using previously to the armory as if you said nothing at all.

Okay…  Um.  Not great, not what you wanted to hear, but maybe if you explain yourself better, he’ll listen.

“I just… I’m the only reason you have to get this quarry in the first place.”  Your voice is quiet, trying to let go of some of the concerns you’ve kept to yourself over the past two weeks.  Your fingers fiddle idly with the kid’s little woolen sack as he hangs out in your arms, wanting to plead your case but feeling slightly nervous now.  “You were out having a crazy expensive blaster made for me while I shook hands with Karga and agreed that you’d take more work for less pay.  I hate that I did that.”

“You had no choice,” Din mutters, turning around and striding past you while pressing a button on his vambrace to close the Crest’s ramp.  “My fault for being late.”  And… for as warm and comforting as his voice sounded earlier, it now just sounds… dismissive.  Aloof.  Half-listening, not really wanting to talk but forcing himself to.

“Well this time, I thought maybe… I might be able to help?  Maybe?”  Maker, you feel yourself going quieter the more he walks around the hull and ignores you.  “Karga said it was just a missing person, not even a criminal…”

“Karga says a lot of things,” he grunts with his back to you, voice completely monotone through the modulator.

Come on, speak up.  You’ve lacked a backbone for so long, you’ll never get what you want unless you say it out loud and let it be known.  You take a deep breath and straighten your shoulders, trying to put a little bit of spine into it.  “I can be useful.  I can fight now, I’ve been working on my—” 

“You think I’m telling you no because I don’t think you’re capable?”  He suddenly whips around, voice ringing sharp and challenging throughout the hull while you freeze.  You don’t move but everything about you suddenly feels like it shrinks.

“I-I didn’t—” But he cuts you off, taking a step forward.

“I know you can fight, a Mandalorian taught you how.  I know you’re useful, I know it’s just a missing person, and I know you hate it when I leave.”  He pins you with his eyes through the visor, his tone harder than you think you’ve ever heard it before.  “No.  Your job is to stay here, on this ship, with my son, where it is safe, and my job is to go get the quarry.  Quit asking.  I’m not telling you again.”

The baby makes a tiny little distressed sound in your arms and you blink a few times up at the cold metal, feeling all the good feelings from before just… drain out of you.

Okay, that’s fine.  Uh.  You… the cockpit is behind you, you’ll go up there and fly then.  No reason, just… he should get going.

“Okay, yeah,” you nod and tell the wall over his shoulder brace in immediate agreement, before abruptly spinning around and grabbing the ladder.  Din doesn’t move a single fucking muscle while you try to find your way up to the cockpit with the baby held to your chest and a dead stone sitting heavy inside of it, hoping your face doesn’t show the vulnerability you feel wanting to take over as you retreat.  Get to the cockpit first, get to the cockpit first, get to the—

“Sweet girl, I…” you barely hear murmured through the helmet from the floor, soft enough to sound slightly shocked, but you scramble into the cockpit and shut the door behind you before he can say anything else.

***

Silence didn't used to feel like this.

At first it was eerie, unnatural and stifling when you spent years in a wide open desert, wind swirling and dust pelting.  It suffocated you the first few times you jumped into hyperspace, a phenomena you read all about and considered mathematically fascinating before ever experiencing for yourself.  It was… foreign and strange, but you began to value it more and more as time passed.

Then, you started to get to know him and silence just became comforting.  Something you could bask in, knowing it was a comfort to him.  A choice he made because it just fit him best.  You felt safe in it, you felt like you didn’t have to be anything else but you.  You never had to break it just to avoid awkwardness, you became… closer to it, until you learned to fall in love with it.

But only when he was with you and it was his silence.  Not… everything else’s.  Now it’s haunting again.  Now the sheer lack of sound through hyperspace is a stranger to you, and the distortion of light surrounding the cockpit feels less about the sheer magnificence of manipulating space time and more about the fundamental disconnect it causes.  Gorgeous, but at its core, a severance.  Ripping the fabric of the universe apart, tearing a wound in it.

It’s been a few hours and nothing exceptional has happened since your conversation in the hull.  

You’ll admit that you’re a sensitive person, and because of that, you’ve always had a problem knowing if you were right or wrong when someone comes at you with a hard enough will.  You second-guess yourself, it’s one of your worst traits, and you feel like trying to squash that tendency without knowing the limit is partially to blame for why you’re holed up in this cockpit with the kid.  You’re quiet but in a different way from Din.  When he doesn’t speak, it’s because most of the time, he’s sure of himself and doesn’t need to.  When you don’t speak, it’s because most of the time, you’re insecure and don’t want to.

After being left alone with your thoughts for this long, you’re starting to realize that… he was right.  What were you thinking, wanting to tag along?  Wanting to hang out while he risks his life for this occupation, you probably sounded so fucking ignorant.  Maybe… maybe he didn’t have to say it like that, but his point is still very valid and you’re not sure if you’re really justified in hiding like this anymore.

The way he said… your job, though.  That still stings a bit.  This hasn’t felt like an actual job in a very long time.  Was that just an expression, or did he mean it literally?  You’re stuck on it, you’ve just been going over this for hours in your head, trying to figure out if you should be the one to apologize or not—or if this is just you overreacting from the start and no apologies will be necessary at all.

“Sorry you got stuck with me, kid,” you mutter sadly to the baby, watching him fiddle with his favorite metal ball in your lap.  He makes a little gurgle, purring in that weirdly adorable little way of his and it somehow feels like a reassurance directed to you that he’s just fine the way he is.

Maker, you haven’t heard anything from the hull in a fucking eternity; it’s like Din turned into a ghost, hasn’t even made a single footstep that you could hear since you last left him standing there.  You remember performing a quick flight check as soon as you got up here, lifting off as fast as you could and hoping the thrusters would rumble loud enough to cover your series of pitifully shallow sniffles at being yelled at unexpectedly by a very large and intimidating man, not really crying but not really able to breathe normal either.  The little monster was able to wiggle himself around in your lap as you were trying to punch in the correct coordinates for the fifth quarry with rapidly blinking, watery eyes, and then proceeded to give your belly the smallest hug you think you’ve ever been given and pretty much break your heart with it.

Lovely little boy, so sweet when he wants to be.  He’s sat with you this whole time, he even tried giving you his metal ball to play with but ultimately decided to keep it to himself when he realized you aren’t nearly as fascinated by it as he is.  You know it’s probably getting late for him, and you’ve been weighing the idea of handing him over to his father so he can at least get a good night’s sleep somewhere that isn’t your arms.  There’s no blankets in here, just your lap.

“I think I gotta go take you to your dad soon, tiny.  He’s probably missing you,” you tell him, trying to keep quiet enough that you won’t disturb Din in the hull.  There’s a good chance he’s already asleep.  “I think… he might still be mad at me.  Maybe you can give him the big eyes, soften him up a little?”

Right on cue, his enormous eyes start to droop closed, and you let out a tired sigh of exasperation.  That’s not gonna work, come on.  They gotta be open, booger.

You watch him slowly drift to sleep, his ears relaxing until they too start to droop, but when you try to take the ball from him and set it down on the console, his eyes immediately pop back open and the toy slips from your fingertips.  It levitates right back into his tiny hands as you watch, and then he closes his eyes once more while tightly cuddling the thing he loves most to his body.

Unbelievable.

He’s a child, and yet he’s…

“How are you so strong?”  You ask him, unable to even fathom.  “You’re the smallest, most helpless little thing I’ve ever seen and you’ve got such… strength.  You defy the universe for a piece of metal.”

He doesn’t hear you, you think he’s asleep again.  It’s just as well, you figure.  He needs to go sleep in his crib, it’s time.  You scoop him up and make sure the little ball stays tucked snugly in his arms, before finally standing up and stumbling over to the door on numb legs.

Only, when it slides open, you quickly stop short.

Because there, sitting on the floor and resting his helmet against the corner of this small little platform leading to the ladder, is the Mandalorian.

So much closer than you expected him to be.  So big, crammed into such a tiny place.  You didn’t hear his footsteps climbing the ladder, and you would’ve noticed it during the hours you’ve spent in the suffocatingly muted quiet of hyperspace.  He can be silent but not when absolutely nothing else exists and he’s got a thousand fucking pounds of steel weighing him down at any moment in time.  You took off almost immediately once you barricaded yourself inside the cockpit, so has he… did he follow you up in those last few seconds, right after you shut the door?  The ones when you were sniffling like a child and trying desperately to turn the thrusters on before you let the tears come?

His head lifts and his back straightens as you’re looking down at him with his sleeping son cradled in your arms, your eyes slightly redder than they should be.  You’re a mess and… he’s been here this whole time?

“Could you hear me in there?”  You whisper in sudden mortification, but Din just keeps gazing up at you through the impenetrable metal visor.  A complete mystery again.  Unreadable—he could be anyone.

When he doesn’t answer you, your heart twists with the possibility that he’s still upset with you, and you quickly turn to the ladder to figure out the best way to get down without jostling the baby.

“I’m sorry.”  His voice stops you dead in your tracks.  It’s so soft, nearly flipping in and out of the modulator from the lack of volume, the most cautious sounding thing you’ve ever heard coming through the filter.  “I… hurt your feelings.  I’m sorry.”

And…  Maker, if anybody else had said it.  If literally anybody else had said it, you know it would’ve sounded like the most sarcastic, dickish remark in such a delicate moment.  But, you also remember him telling you once that you were tenderhearted.  That the galaxy would never be as kind to you as you are to it.  This… comes out sounding like he’s trying to change that.

It comes out sounding like he’s trying to use his voice to hold you because he doesn’t think you want to be touched right now.  Like… like he’s doing everything he can to be as careful as possible here because you think he might be attempting to do something he’s never done before.  Apologize for saying something he didn’t mean.

“You don’t have to,” you quickly tell him.  He’s not good with words and apologies are difficult enough to phrase for normal people, you don’t want him to fret over it if that’s what this is.  “It’s okay, I know you’re not… you don’t have to.  It was stupid of me to ask.”

“It wasn’t,” he instantly counters, his voice finally seeming to find the floor when it was just hovering before.  Not loud—still gentle, still making sure the kid doesn’t wake up and you’re not frightened away, but a bit more grounded this time.  “It wasn’t… what I wanted to hear, and I didn’t take it well.  Not stupid.”

“It was stupid,” you return amicably, looking down at your feet.  “That’s not my… job, like you said.”

Din suddenly hangs his helmet down to his chest, pressing his gloves to the part that curves over his forehead and rubbing it.  “Shit.  I didn’t mean—”

“You were right,” you acknowledge, having spent the past few hours coming to the understanding that it’s the hard truth and he just phrased it poorly.  “I’m not… built for it, I’d only get in your way.  I barely just managed to shoot stationary targets with a blaster today, and that’s only with that aim corrector built into the barrel.  I’m here to be helpful, not—”

“What are you saying?”  He suddenly lifts the beskar to study you, sounding genuinely confused.  “What aim corrector?”

That… makes you pause.

“The, uh…”  Now you’re confused.  “The one that adjusts the plasma release on the gun you gave me.”

He doesn’t move an inch or say a single thing to you in response and you awkwardly shuffle your feet for a second, everything so quiet that you can hear every little snore that goes in and out of the kid’s tiny button nose.

You blink at him after way too long of that, not knowing why he still hasn’t said anything.  “There’s an electronic sight and like a bazillion extra magnets packed into the barrel, Din, what else could—”

“Sweet girl, that’s… that’s for the Philithiorium,” Din breathes out, like he’s absolutely blown away by you right now.  “That gas is less stable than normal canisters, it takes more magnets to focus the white beam without overheating the metal.”

You stare at him, not truly processing.  He’s saying that… you made all those shots today without any help at all?  By yourself?

Your eyebrows furrow and you blink a few times, but then his slow, heavy sigh echoes throughout the metal walls with disappointment… and you don’t think it’s directed towards you.

“You’re just… always so unsure of yourself.”  He sounds genuinely distraught as his helmet tips down to look at the ground.  “I made that worse today.”

“It doesn’t matter,” you quickly shake your head, your chest already beginning to loosen slightly by just being around him, hearing his voice, seeing the metal glint under the fluorescent light overhead when he’s in such a vulnerable position on the floor.  “It’s okay, let’s just… pretend neither of us said anything at all, okay?”

“Is that what you really want?”  He asks you after a moment of quiet, and for some reason, you hear something in your mind tell you that his arms look so nice right now, don’t they?  You could fit right there, perfect and safe again.

“Yeah, it’s fine,” you smile at him, feeling a bit of the ache trapped inside you continue to work itself out little by little.  You’ll be back to normal soon, it’s fine.

“No, I mean… do you really want to come with me?”  Din asks you, the words sounding cautious.  Confused, like he truly never expected the proposition from you at all.  “Or… do you just not want me to go?”

Oof, what a fucking question.

Why would he ask this?  It’s not pointed; it’s the softest, gentlest inquiry you’ve ever been posed.  Maybe in other circumstances, you’d say that him leaving doesn’t have anything to do with it, but… you’re certain that internally, it absolutely does have at least something to do with it and he was just able to know it before you did.  Which is probably why his sharp words seemed all the more cutting earlier.  It hurt because he said the truth first, verbalized a very deep insecurity you’ve been trying to hide from him and threw it right in your face when shutting you down.

Though, if it worked differently and you were the one who had to be away while he stayed here, you’d like to think you’d handle it way better than how it is now.  At least you’d have a real mission to focus on, new things to see and experiences to have.  You just feel… confined sometimes.

You take a deep breath and figure you’ll use sitting down as an excuse to think for a second.  There’s practically no room but you find it in the back of the cockpit near the doorframe anyways, doing your best to keep the kid level while you slowly lower yourself to the ground near him.  Not touching him, but close.

“I just… I lived my whole life stuck in one spot, wanting to see the galaxy,” you finally admit to him, staring at his chestplate but seeing the helmet tilt slightly in your peripheral.  “Sometimes it’s just… hard to see the galaxy and still be stuck in one spot, I guess.”

“…You want an adventure,” Din proposes quietly, and though there’s not a single hint of mockery in his voice, you suddenly feel like it’s really fucking dumb when he phrases it like that.  What are you, an eight year old?  Wanting to go on an adventure, see things you’ve never seen without any concept for real life?  Credits?  Time?  Resources?

You shrug a shoulder to make it seem like it’s no big deal.  Why is he even entertaining this right now?  “It’s stupid, I kn—”

“Like on Naboo,” he goes on, ignoring your harsh self-criticism, not allowing you the ability to even get it out once he heard the first couple words.  “Going through the forest, seeing that waterfall.  Someplace to find for yourself.  Explore.  Experience.”

You… you want it so badly that you think your eyes might tear up just hearing the words coming out of his mouth when he says them like that.  Like he… just inherently understands.  He knows.

He knows you.  He’s not good with words and yet he found the single most succinct way to put what you thought was a complex yearning without even trying.  You can’t even answer him, he hit the target dead on and you’re left with nothing to say that wouldn’t just be a miserable lie.

“Okay,” Din says after a moment, giving you a small nod.

You’re lost now.  “…Okay?”

“You’re never going on a hunt with me,” he tells you very seriously, no room for arguing.  “Ever.  And not because you can’t handle it, understand?”  He inhales, quickly adding on to his response before you’re able to analyze it the way you want to.  “But if you want an adventure, then… I can try and find a way to give you one.”

Stars.  He’s… too kind.  You somehow feel like it’s more than you deserve.  You were honestly hoping to just shadow him on a hunt, watch him work and stay well out of the way when he needs you to.  Helping if you think you’d be of any help; an extra set of eyes and hands.  You would’ve been fine even if he didn’t apologize for raising his voice at you, he doesn’t have to do this for you.

“Thank you,” you say for the third time today, feeling like each one has somehow multiplied in sincerity.

“It can’t be right now,” he quickly tells you, apologetic but earnest about it.  “I have to find the quarry, and I’m supposed to meet with Karga again in a week.”

You never did let him know about the other part of the deal you made with Karga, you admit.  Four pucks, no hassling, no hard time constraints.  That’s what you shook on, but you just never found a way to bring it up to Din.  Especially since you’ve been so preoccupied with hiding your growing disappointment from him whenever he has to go.

“If…” you pause, wondering the best way to phrase this.  Yikes, this is a toughie.  “Um.  If Karga… I don’t know, hypothetically, if Karga decided to loosen the time constraints back to the way they were before the Corellian bounty, would you… still need to meet with him again in a week?”

You don’t think he even bothers shuffling through all those words.  “Say what you mean.  Please.”

“That was part of the deal I struck with him,” you quickly explain.  “You can hunt on your own timetable again and he’ll keep giving you four pucks like before, no more or less after this one extra quarry.  It’s like a… replacement of sorts, for the one I kept you from getting the time before.  If credits aren’t an issue, you can take more than a week.  But only if you want to, you don’t have to.  It’s just there and you should know, that’s all.”

He takes his time responding, lifting his helmet just the slightest bit in… surprise?  Maybe?

“You never told me you did that,” Din finally murmurs.

“Ah.  Well.”  You look down at the sleeping kid in your arms.  “I didn’t want you to think I was trying to… keep you here.”

It genuinely is a struggle for you, and you think he’s just now realizing that.  As much as you know he gets frustrated with you for always wanting him to be here when he physically can’t be, you think it’s only now that he’s truly realizing the lengths you go to in order to stomp that part of you down whenever you feel it threatening to come up.  You allowed him to leave every single time without telling him he could stay, knowing that all that was left for you was babysitting and target practice for days on end.

“Will you come over here?”  Din finally asks, and the tone of his voice just punches you in the chest.  So soft, so distressed from having you so close yet so far from him and just… full of a quiet hope, like he’s fully expecting you to say no.

“Will we fit?”  You whisper after a moment, even quieter.

He doesn’t answer, he just reaches for you.  You do your best to scoot over to him without waking the kid, and then Din pulls you the rest of the way once he has a grip.  You go right into his arms, laying sideways across his lap and supported by his steel embrace.

Oh, it’s not comfortable but you’ve also never been more fucking comfortable.  One of his knees lifts and allows you to rest your back against it without worrying about falling over sideways and down the ladder to the hull, thank the Maker.  The beskar pauldron over his shoulder digs into your cheek, but Din immediately pushes an arm up to nudge his helmet off and make it better for both of you.  Your face automatically fits into the crook of his neck while he sets the beskar on the bend of his knee, and then he silently cradles you while you do the same to his little boy… who does the same to his favorite metal ball.

“Ni tar’tayl su,” he murmurs into your hair, the one phrase in Mando’a you do recognize, especially with how beautiful and elegant it sounds rolling off his tongue.  “Forgive me.  Ni ceta.”

You sigh your contentment and melt into him, well aware that you’d still be more comfortable in bed.  But when you’re pressed hard against his chest like this and the baby is fast asleep in your arms, you get to feel both of them breathing.  Din’s right lung is probably bigger than the kid’s whole entire body, but you like the radically different cycles they go through.  You think you count six full breaths coming from the brown sack in your palms for every one of Din’s and two of yours.  It creates the most beautiful little symphony that sometimes gets a little off track, but always finds its way back around again.

“How do you say…”  You ask, feeling his hand slowly move down the curve of your spine, mindless and hypnotic.  It catches the edge of your shirt and goes underneath, and even though it’s not his bare hand and there’s no skin to skin, it still feels so good.  Not sexual or sensual even, just… a comfort to you.  “In Mando’a, how do you say… out of a trillion?”

Din’s breaths pause for just a second, his portion of the synchronized rhythm faltering.  Soon it starts back up, and his head turns to press his lips against your hair.

“I don’t think there’s a word for it,” he admits, gently brushing a thumb across the baby’s forehead while he snoozes.  “There could be, but I don’t know it.  I’d use… out of a million million millions.  Dayn alanyc bal alanyc bal alanyci.”

Your eyes begin to drift closed, exhausted from keeping them open after shedding a few tears earlier.  Your first fight and you’re already completely in love with him again after a handful of hours of sulking and one conversation.  How is that possible?  You’re normally a very forgiving person and it wouldn’t have taken much to make you feel better, you just never expected him to… actually want it from you that badly, care enough about it to get on the floor and ask.

Din doesn’t move the entire night through.  You assumed he’d make everyone get up at some point and move to the hull, but he doesn’t.  You fall asleep against his chest, comforted by the silence once again.

***

The next morning, Din quietly climbs into the cockpit while you’re humming in the shower.  You’re too busy basking in the indoor rainfall to feel the ship pull out of hyperspace, and then jump back into it a few moments after.

***

“How long do you think you’ll be this time?”  You ask two days later, sitting on the extended flattop of Din’s old cot and swinging your legs back and forth.  The baby is currently sitting on your lap and trying to roll the metal ball down your knee so you’ll kick it in the air, you think, because he keeps dropping it at different moments and forcing you to stop moving your legs to prevent accidentally denting a wall.  Every time the ball clatters to the floor, he makes a sad sound and it immediately lifts back up into his tiny hands for another try.

Heavy boots clang against the metal floor as Din drops down from the ladder, having just landed the Crest on the surface of whatever planet you’re on.  “I’m not leaving yet.”

“Oh…”  You blink, surprised.  “Okay.”

“I wanted to do some more training with you first, if that’s okay.  You can say no if you want, but maybe not,” Din drawls, striding over to the armory and opening it.  He carefully removes your blaster from the front shelf, speaking with his back to you.  “You’re going to run.”

“Um.”  You take a moment to glance around the enclosed hull, before turning to look back at him with your eyebrows raised.  “What, like… in place?”

Din sighs and closes the armory before leaning back against the doors, rubbing the face of the helmet in exasperation.  “From me, sweet girl.”

Your legs stop swinging, and the baby grumbles and slaps three fingers against your knee.  “What?”

“We’re on Sanctuary II,” he explains, turning to grab his black bag from one of the storage shelves.  He unzips it and reaches back into one of the larger pockets on his utility belt, before grabbing a handful of credits and stuffing them inside.  “It’s a moon, the New Republic occupied it years ago and made it a safe world for refugees and orphans of the Empire.  You’ll have your blaster, some credits, a communicator, and a day head start.  You’re going to run from me.  Show me how much you’ve learned.”

Is… he for real?

Right now?  You don’t even know how to respond, you’re too surprised.  Even when Din approaches and carefully trades the kid for your blaster, setting the bag down next to you on the metal bed, you still haven’t answered him.

“If you want?”  He asks after a moment, and you quickly jerk your head into a nod and jump off the raised platform, almost knocking into him with your sudden excitement.

“Okay!  Fuck yeah,” you grin, but Din shakes his head.

“Rules,” he says seriously, and you quickly do your best to frown, trying to compose your thrilled expression to match his tone.  “One.  This is a safe world, but things can always happen.  You have a blaster now, but it’s for emergencies only.  Do not shoot me with it.  Do you understand?”  You nod, but Din reaches forward to grab your elbow.  “Out loud, please.  For me.”

“I will not shoot you with this blaster,” you vow obediently, carefully cradling the precious firearm in your hands.

“Do not shoot me,” he repeats while pointing a leather finger at you.  “Do not… shoot at me.  Near me.  Around me.  No, just—don’t shoot.  Unless I am… very far away.  Okay?”

Well, he didn’t have to phrase it like that.  You frown, but acquiesce regardless.  “I will only resort to blastering if it’s an emergency and you are not around.”

He nods a thank you for putting it into better words.  “Second rule.  Since you don’t have a ship, I won’t either.  We’re on foot.  I don’t doubt you can hotwire a piece of junk to do what you need it to do, but I’d prefer it if you didn’t.  Good?”

Entirely accurate and entirely fair.  “Good.”

“Three,” he says.  “I’ll have the kid with me, which is both good and bad news for you.  Good news is he’ll slow me down, bad news is I can’t promise he won’t also try to intervene at some point if you’re serious about putting up a decent fight.  What I can promise is that I won’t encourage it.”

“Reassuring,” you nod.  “Also not really a rule.  Please continue.”

“Four.”  He pauses for a second.  “I think I’m wanted by the New Republic.”

You nearly jerk back.  “What?”

“I can’t confirm it and I’m not proud of it,” Din quickly tells you, probably the vaguest possible explanation he could provide.  “I’m only telling you so that you’ll know your advantage and find a way to exploit it.  I can’t be seen by any officers, or they might arrest me.”

Is he fucking serious?  “I don’t want you to be arrested, Din, I—”

“I won’t be,” he assures you.  “They owe me one, I just don’t want to cash in yet.  Trust me.”

You… do.  Insanely, and against every logical thought flittering through your head, you do.  If you were ever going to bet money that someone would be able to navigate a safe world on foot without being caught by the numerous officers scattered across the surface, then you’d put all your credits on Din Djarin.  It… also shouldn’t really surprise you at all that the people seeking his incarceration also owe him a favor, should it?  It actually sounds right on par for him.  “Okay.”

“Fifth, and this one is important, so listen up,” he continues gruffly.  “You check in with me tonight over the e-comm, alright?  I don’t care where you are or how safe this planet is, if you don’t check in, I’ll come find you before the sun rises.  Say you understand me.”

“I understand you,” you tell him, your heart beginning to pound in your chest at the reality of this actually happening.  “I’ll check in tonight.”

“And if,” he goes on, “by some miracle, you manage to make it more than a full day, you check in with me tomorrow night, too.  Say it.”

“I will check in with you every single night for the full five days it’ll take you to find me,” you assert, the adrenaline starting to make you brash and giddy.  

Din tilts his helmet at you sternly.  It is a very, very stern tilt.  “Okay.  New plan, forget everything I just said.”

Your expression furrows.  “What’s the new plan?”

“That is the new plan,” he says, dead serious.  “Us.  Not doing this.”

“Oh, come on,” you grin cheekily up at him, poking his chestplate.  “I’m just giving you some motivation to find me quicker, that’s all.”

Din stares down at you, and… yeesh.  Tough crowd.

“Tell you what,” he finally grunts, sounding incredibly unamused with your jesting.  “If you can last that long with only a day head start, I’ll let you come with me to collect the fifth quarry.  You can even cuff the bastard yourself.”

You know it’s just because he’s rightly confident in his own deadly skill, but hearing him propose the possibility still shoots a thrill down your spine.  “Oh ho, you are gonna regret saying that, shiny,” you beam up at him, starting to hop back and forth on each foot with excitement.

“But if I’m able to find you, you can’t ask me ever again,” he finishes shortly, and you immediately go still in front of him.

“What?”

“If I’m able to find you in five days, I don’t want to hear about you coming with me on a hunt and you can’t ever ask me not to go on one,” Din tells you, his voice rough and gravelly through the modulator.  Not mean or harsh, but firm.  “From now on, it’ll be off-limits.”

You… take a moment, not knowing if you should feel scolded or not.  When you don’t immediately say anything in response, he sighs and turns the helmet away from you.

“Leaving is hard enough as it is,” he mutters, looking at the ground.  “Hearing you ask… makes it impossible.”

You slowly lower your gaze to the floor as well, feeling your heart constrict tight in your chest.  There’s a real pull under his voice, telling you that information even though it sounds like he doesn’t really want to admit it out loud.  It… really is a struggle for him too, then.  You understand.

“Okay,” you nod.  There’s not a single part of you that actually thinks you’ll be able to stay hidden from him for five days while stuck on foot, so this is essentially a given.  You’re not thrilled about the idea, but you’re going to do your best to respect it nonetheless, especially if he cares enough to put off hunting and allow you this experience for yourself.  It’s a better compromise than you ever imagined, and you’ll do everything you can to hold up your side of the bargain.

Din clears his throat and straightens his spine, turning the visor until it faces you head on once more.  “Final rule.  I reserve the right to break any rule we just agreed to, or any fucking rule in this galaxy to keep you safe.  Good?”

Your cheeks flush with heat, your stomach suddenly filling with butterflies.  He doesn’t do that.  Din says what he says or he doesn’t say anything at all, there’s no… taking things back, he’s already breaking his own code.

“What happened to The Way says no take-backs?”  You ask quietly.

“This is my way,” he answers you.  Quick, not even taking a moment to think about it, before pulling out a fancy looking wristwatch thing and clipping it on you himself.  “This is your communicator.  It takes more power than the one you have now but it’ll reach a further distance.  I have one just like it, they’re locked into the same frequency and timesynced together, and the batteries need to be charged every three days.  If you make it that long, I’ll remind you.”  Din grabs the bag while you slide your arm into it, helping you hook it around your shoulder with one hand while he cradles the kid in his other.  Your heart is pounding now, pumping with adrenaline as he pulls you towards the middle of the hull and then wraps an arm around you.

“Hey,” he murmurs, pulling you tight to him and pressing the helmet to the crown of your head.  His voice is barely a whisper through the modulator.  “Gar darasuum.”  For an eternity.

You find some way to wrap your arms around him, even with your blaster in your hand and the kid hanging out in his dad’s other arm.

“Dayn alanyc, bal alanyc, bal alanyci,” you murmur dutifully against the beskar chestplate, knowing your accent is probably butchering the words but hoping they still carry the same sentiment.

And then you’re squeeeeeezed hard enough to get a little air out of you, before you’re let go and he turns around, pressing a button on his vambrace so the ramp begins to lower.

It’s bright outside but not too bright, and everything is warm and gentle and breezy, right in the middle of a lush plain.  You inhale the fresh air into your lungs, looking out across the wide open field, having no fucking clue this is where your day would be leading when you woke up this morning.  Oh Maker, it’s gorgeous here.  Not like Naboo, where every single thing is picturesque and fit for an e-card, but in a soft, understated kind of way.  The sky is a canvas of swirling pastel clouds, pale pinks and yellows and blues, and the communicator on your wrist lets you know that it’s just after noon here.

You take one single step down the ramp, before immediately stopping and turning around to bite your lip at him.

“How am I… how am I supposed to outrun you?”  You ask, already clueless.  “You’re too good, better than me at everything.”

“That’s not true,” Din reminds you sternly, grabbing your hand at your side.  “You already know who’s after you, that’s an advantage nobody else has ever had against me.  You know how I think.  I don’t know how, but sometimes it’s like you can…”  He slowly shakes his head.  “See me.  Through the metal.”

“But… but that works both ways,” you point out, breathless at hearing him say that but needing to focus right now.  “You know me, too—you’ll know exactly where I—”

He shakes his head again, but quickly this time.  “Remember what I told you a long time ago?  What your best weapon is?”

You… do not.  He told you so many things, and you’re assuming every single one of them is going to come into play during this endeavor if you want to outlast.  You’re going to have to think back and remember all of them individually, find the time to figure out your best plan of action based on the remarkably little you know about how he hunts.

“You’re smart, remember?”  Din murmurs, squeezing your fingers.  “Your mind works differently, it sees things in ways I’ll never be able to, not even with this helmet.  So…”  He shrugs a shoulder like it’s the simplest thing in the galaxy.  “Don’t try to outrun, okay?  Just try to outsmart.”

You give him a nod after a moment, still not really sure about it, before giving his hand one last squeeze in return and eventually letting go.  

Outsmart.  Outsmart him, use what you know about him to be the most elusive quarry he’s ever hunted down.

As you make your way down the ramp, you’re already thinking.  His helmet tracks footprints, that’s a thing you know.  You’ll have to find someone to trade shoes with, then—yours aren’t too beat up, maybe you can find a local who’d appreciate a better pair.  Are you going to a city?  Would there be one in walking distance?  The wilderness won’t work, you’ll be too exposed and it would make you an easy target for either him or wild animals.  The weather seems clear here though, and you don’t think you’ll need to worry about rain or snow, but if—

“Oh—but when you do see me,” Din decides to add when your feet finally touch the grass, and you pause once more to turn around and look at him.  He stays quiet for a second, studying you through the helmet for too long.  Like the anticipation is getting to him already.

You bite your lip back at him and adjust the bag on your shoulder, tummy swirling with nerves and excitement.  He tilts the visor up, gazing down at you from the hull with the kid tucked in his arms.

“Try to outrun,” he says gruffly, before turning back into the ship and letting the ramp slowly close behind him.

[whiskehorange]

Hi, I’m so sorry to bother you but I’ve been feeling down lately and I really enjoy reading ur blog. Is it ok if you do Jason, micheal, bubba Thomas, Brahms ,pyramid head, asa and Harry warden if possible with an S/O who’s usually happy and willing and all of a sudden she breaks down one day bawling on the couch or something and she didn’t know they were there, not wanting to make them upset or sad? Sorry if it’s really sad, I just need a lil love, I love u and ur blog! Thank you! Take your time and drinks lots of water!

Jason

Uhm, excuse me bitch what in the fuck is going on? You gave you the right to scare the shit out of Jason like that?

When he first came home the weeping made him freeze. He was positive it wasn’t you, he had never even seen you frown before so this absolutely cannot be your crying. Yet, as he walked in to see you whip around, tears streaming down your face as you look at him in pure shock you almost send him falling backwards

He doesn’t even care what made you cry of feel this way he’s going to be up your ass the entire day. Coddling, kissing, rubbing, and doing any and all for of comforting that he knows how to do

Jason absolutely hates seeing you cry, especially as hard as you did. You’re more than welcome to talk to him about it for as long as you want whenever you want and all he will do is listen and comfort you

Jason is a very physically affectionate man, even though he is a bit hesitant at first, so when you feel yourself in a time like this, you bess’ believe that he’s going to be around you 24/7. Even a few days after that, he needs to be your therapist (which he’s real good at)

Michael

You won’t be able to see it, but Michael is panicking and sweating bullets underneath that mask. It’s an immediate fight or fight response

Michael, overall, isn’t too good with handling other peoples emotions, so don’t be surprised when he doesn’t come to you right away for any sort of comfort in those "typically ways"

Hugging, coddling, cuddling, and any typeof caressing is going to come later in the day when things have begun to quiet down. Not only is he completely unused to having to comfort you in anyway like this, but he's pretty pissed at whatever made you come to this point

The main thing Michael wants you to do is to talk to him, tell him what's wrong so that he knows just how to handle the situation: either to kill or to... not know what to do

It's very safe to say that he will get better with knowing how to comfort you if this does ever happen again, which he really hopes it won't.

Bubba

There is a lot that can make Bubba cry, at this is one of the times he wasn't expecting to. Everyday, no matter how hard it was for him, he knew he could count on your cheery face to great him when he comes running back inside

His first reaction is to panic; he's never been put in this sort of situation before with you and he really doesn't know how to approach you. He sort of just sits awkwardly next to you and whines

Comfort does eventually find your way with pets and hugs, there aren't really any verbal affirmations he can give you, but for what he lacks in communication he can make up with physical affection one way or another

A downside to Bubba, however, is that he almost has an out-of-sight-out-of-mind personality realistically. So don't get too upset if when you have some space from him that same day that he'll sort of forget you've been upset

In that case, be prepared for the exact same meltdown when he figures out how upset you've been for the second time

Thomas

Thomas' defense mode in immediately activated. Never would he have thought that he would have to be on the comforting side so you'll have to give him a minute, but it really isn't even that long

He's gentle and patient, he knows what its like to feel such extreme motions and most of all that they are pretty hard to get out, so take your time and he'll be here with you until you're back up on your feet. Literally

To say you scared him would be an understatement, but he pushes that aside to genuinely make sure that you are not physically hurt, because if that was the case whoever did it should be the one scared

Instead, Thomas has somewhere quiet for you to go with him, the least he would want is for Hoyt to complain about such "loud" crying in the house. It's better for him to give out physically comforting, too!

His go to's are hugs and petting/caressing, it's what he would want. It's comforting to say the least, but the fact that you can't even breath right doesn't go down well when he's crushing your spinal cord in a bear hug

Braham

However oblivious, he's oddly able to tell that you're acting different before you even get the chance to melt down. From all of the time spent watching you from within the walls, you can say that he knows you like the back of his hand

Brahms has absolutely no clue how to address you. Of course he's fended for himself for a long time but any sort of emotional help is foreign to him

He'll come around, of course, the moment that you do breakdown he's by your side and he's ready to do just about anything you tell him to do but he's on edge

However, the sort of comfort you will get from him will be physical, it's the best way he can quickly show any form of care for you that he thinks will work. Brahms absolutely hates seeing you this way because he want to be able to fix the problem and he just doesn't know how

He insists that you tell him whats wrong as he holds you, curled up, in his lap. Gently caressing your head and face as he listens to your soft cries and explanation. It's the best he can do for you and he knows that that he'll have to pay close attention to when you baby him next, that way he's prepared for whenever this might happen next

Pyramid Head

What the fuck even? Pyramid Head isn't going to catch on too soon, but the moment he hears your cries from anywhere he is by your side immediately

He hates it the most out everyone on this list, and I mean that heavily. Not only does he go on rampages because he doesn't know what's wrong, but it pisses him off to no end that he doesn't know how to handle it

Pyramid Head wants so bad to be able to comfort you and understand what's made you this upset that he can come across as a little overbearing, but mainly clingy. He doesn't leave your side well after you've stopped crying and makes sure to keep an eye on you from now on so that he can possibly be there before this happens again

While he isn't able to properly communicate to you, a lot of his body language displays signs of uncomforted alongside you. Just about any emotion you feel he absorbs and feels it right with you, mainly because its his way of showing you that you're not alone and he's here to spend this time with you

Just please don't ever do that again it's so stressful he likes seeing you bubbly not sad omfg-

Asa

Asa is the most unreadable, really. He's able to keep his composure the entire time as you bawl your eyes out before him, but inside he's shaking up a little. He doesn't like seeing you upset whens it's not for play of course, so it comes as a bit of a surprise for even him

He's a little hesitant to comfort you because he is surprised, but is also just one of the most distant when it comes to comfort in this way, While being used to your much brighter personality, eventually he'll get better at it for for the time being, you don't have to deal with much of him

There is some physical reassurance, so you're not completely neglected, but Asa does have other things to do. He gently takes you in his arms and leads you up to the bedroom where he lays you down, caressing your head and covering you up

He'll leave to get you water or a drink and some other small things like your phone or a small snack if you haven't eaten, but mostly your phone so that you can call or text him if you need him. From there he'll shut the lights iff and let you get a bit of sleep

Asa stays in the house and cancels any outside plans for the day and makes sure that his phone's ringer is on at all times. By the time you call him for something he'll be up to your room before the ringtone even ends

Harry

Harry is most definitely clueless and will feel like he's going to cry right alongside you. Harry is not good at handling his own emotions let alone yours

He adored being around your bright and shining face everyday, it was something that could regulate his own and he clung to you like a moth to a lamp. So, you can only image the confusion and terror Harry experiences when he comes home to you the complete opposite

It's a very frantic sort of comfort that he gives you, moving from one thing to another to try to figure out what's wrong and what do to. It's really almost as if Harry feels your emotions stronger than you do, but he wants to do everything in his power to fix you

He comes home extra aware in the future, always prepared to be there by your side in hopes to deal with your feelings better, but he still doesn't like it at all. He goes out of his way to do more things around the house of for you in general to lessen up any stress, even if there was none in the first place

[watchmegetobsessed]

TO LOVE AND BE LOVED - Part One (Harry Styles)

a/n: oh my god i am sooo thankful for the love the masterlist got with just so little info about the story! it means so much to me and i really hope i won’t disappoint you with this story! i was planning to post the first part on tuesday but i got excited bc of all the feedback and reactions and decided to start earlier, so here it is, part one of TLABL, a story im kind of proud of and very happy to share! please drop by my ask box or leave your thoughts on the story, i would love to hear everything from you guys!

pairing: CEO!Dad!Harry X Reader

warning: mentions of death, cheating and divorce

word count: 11.2k

SERIES MASTERPOST masterlist

“I hope you realize this holds nothing against you, we all love and appreciate you and your work, but we had to face some unexpected problems this past year.”

You sit in front of Claire, your boss completely dumbfounded, not even comprehending what she is saying completely. You came to work this morning absolutely oblivious that today is going to be your last day of work at the daycare you’ve been working at for over two years now.

“I’m sorry, but last time you let us in on the budget you didn’t bring up any complication that might have indicated someone could lose their job, so what possible problem could have come up so abruptly?” you ask with a shocked and nervous chuckle. Part of you kind of hopes this is just some stupid joke she is playing on you, but Claire is not one to make games out of such serious things. Letting out a tired sigh she pushes her reading glasses up to the top of her head into her carefully curled hair.

“Look, I’m really trying not to make a big deal out of it, but we had to make some cuts on the budget. The kitchen and gymnasium renovation was completely unplanned and it kicked us in the butt. We are making some changes about the groups this year and it was made that it can be solved with one less person on the team. I’m sorry it had to be you, but the decision had to be made.”

“But why me?” you press. “There are two people who have been working for a shorter period of time here, didn’t I earn your trust during my time here?”

“It’s not about that, Y/N,” Claire shakes her head.

“Then what is this about?”

“If you are so keen on knowing, we’ve… received a few… complaints.” Your eyebrows shoot up to your hairline, this is the first time you’re hearing about it.

“Complaints?”

“Yes. Some parents are not quite the fan of the kind of mentality you are using while teaching the kids.”

“What are you talking about?” you ask, feeling all the blood rushing out of your face. This is starting to get way too nasty. Claire pinches the bridge of her nose before leaning onto her desk, clasping her hands together.

“I know that you are quite the free spirit and want to teach the kids about openness and acceptance, but not everyone is as rainbow as you are. Some kids brought the word home about what kind of books you’ve been reading and we’ve gotten a few concerns about you basically promoting the LGBTQ community for the kids.”

“I’m not promoting, I’m trying to teach them to accept everyone just the way they are, how can that upset anyone?!”

“Well, it does. The committee had to make a decision on who we should let go and many agreed that it might be the safest decision to make it be… you.”

You’re about to faint. You are sure you are about to fall off this chair and just black out. How can someone get mad about you reading stories about acceptance and treating everyone equally? What kind of monster can see it as a bad thing? And now you are losing your job over such a stupid thing that you don’t even feel responsible for.

Though you’d love to stay and try to convince Claire to not let you go, you know the decision has been made and if you’re being honest, you don’t feel comfortable anymore working at a place where parents tell you off for teaching important values for their kids. Sadly, but you sign all paperwork about your immediate parting and you leave Claire’s office to pack your stuff.

“Miss Y/N! Miss Y/N!” Izzy, one of the sweetest girls in your group basically launches herself at you, smashing against your legs as she hugs you happily. “Do you want to see what I just painted?” She blinks up at you with her gorgeous green eyes and your heart breaks that you won’t get to see her again.

“Oh, Sweetie. I have to—you know what? Sure. Show me your painting,” you smile at her warmly. You can’t say no to her, not when this is the last time you get to see her.

As you’re cleaning out your locker in the break room, Heather walks in and stops in her tracks, seeing you with your gloomy face as you pack everything into a cardboard box.

“What the hell are you doing?” she questions right away. The two of you have known each other for years now, you did the same master’s programme and somehow ended up working here together, carrying on the friendship you’ve formed through your school years.

“I was… fired,” you sigh, wincing at the words.

“What?! Why?”

“Apparently, we are having some budget problems with all the renovations that was made recently and unbeknownst to me, some parents have been complaining about my openness with kids so I was the lucky one to part ways with.”

“That’s fucking bullshit! The kids adore you, how can someone complain about something like that?”

“Don’t know, ask them if you ever find out who they are,” you mumble under your breath as you shut the now empty locker closed. “I’m sorry we can’t carpool anymore,” you pout at her.

“No fucks given about that, what are you gonna do now?” she asks, seemingly very bummed at the news that you won’t be working at the same place now.

“I don’t know,” you shrug. “I guess I’ll have to find something new if I don’t want to end up on the streets,” you mumble.

“Oh girl, I’m so sorry,” Heather sighs pulling you into a hug. “Why don’t we go out for drinks on Friday? Everything is on me!”

“Don’t act like I’m already broke, makes me feel like a loser.”

“Sorry,” she scowls. “Just want to brighten you up a little. Meet me at seven at that Mexican place, how does that sound?”

“Stuffing my face with nachos and tequila? Sounds like the best plan I could wish for.”

You waste no time arriving home after your worst day at work. You jump right into the job ads, looking for basically anything that might help you out of this impossible situation. Sending your resume to as many places as possible, you get a few callbacks the next few days, but you only make it to one interview on Friday and that doesn’t go well either. The man who calls in for an open position at a private kindergarten turns out to be a total snob and he doesn’t find your free spirit too fitting with the profile of his institution so you get rejected at the end of the interview.

You head out to meet Heather feeling like shit. You’ve been unemployed for four days, but it’s already breaking your spirits.

“You know what? Clair is a bitch for giving in to the complaints,” Heather slams her fourth shot glass on the table with a grimace. “She should have defended you!”

“I’m sure she just didn’t want to get into any disagreement. Some of the parents donate great amounts to the school and Claire would never risk losing that money,” you sigh rolling your eyes.

“Okay, but she is being very… not inclusive,” she narrows her eyes. “Firing someone for teaching the kids openness? Bullshit.”

“I’m just sad I don’t get to see the kids anymore. They really grew close to my heart.”

“The little fuckers can be so damn cute, almost make me want to have one.” Heather sighs, downing another shot before pulling the nachos closer to her. You laugh at her vulgar reaction, she has always had quite a dirty mouth but somehow she controls herself well around the kids. “How has the job hunting been?”

“Horrible,” you growl in frustration. There are not many that offer a good paycheck and the few that does are these posh places that expect you to treat the kids like they are made out of gold which is ridiculous. That’s not how you raise a kid!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sure something will come up soon. Why don’t you look into nanny jobs, have you thought about that?”

“What do you mean?” you furrow your eyebrows, popping some chips into your mouth.

“A lot of people prefer having nannies for their little children, some even want them to move in. My brother’s ex-girlfriend was a live-in nanny for about two years and she earned a shit ton of money, because she didn’t have to pay rent and a good chunk of the food, because the parents just treated her like part of the family and bought groceries for five people instead of four.”

“I’m not sure I’m cut out for that kind of stuff.”

“What, earning money?” Heather scoffs.

“No, living with a stranger.”

“Most of the time the nanny gets like a separated place so it wouldn’t be that bad, but you know what’s good for you. It was just an idea,” she shrugs.

Soon enough you drop any work talk not wanting to ruin the mood. You enjoy some time away from the stress of job hunting and you’re just trying to have fun with your best friend. You start talking about nostalgic memories from college and end up looking up people you graduated with on social media, checking out what they’ve been up to in the past years.

“Alright, I’m gonna go to the restroom quickly, watch out for my drink,” you announce pushing your drink closer to Heather as you head towards the restrooms.

There’s a bit of a line so you stand behind two girls chatting about some cute guy they just met and leaning against the wall you close your eyes for a moment, feeling the drinks hitting you in the head. You’re not used to drinking, haven’t really had the time to get drunk too much lately and it’s saddening to think that now that you’re unemployed, you could black out every day, you wouldn’t have anywhere to show up in the morning.

Getting deep in your thoughts you almost don’t even notice that your phone is buzzing in your pocket. When you finally realize you pull it out of your back pocket and look down at the unknown number with a scowl. You quickly leave your spot in the line and rush out to hear something as you answer the call.

“Hello?”

“Hi, I hope I’m not calling at an inconvenient time, I’m Harry Styles and I’m looking to talk to Y/N Y/L/N?” you hear a thick British accent on the other end of the line.

“This is her.”

“Great. Sorry for the late call, I’m Isabelle’s father.”

“Isabelle?” you ask in confusion, the names not really clicking in your head thanks to the shots you’ve been taking.

“Isabelle Styles? Izzy?”

“Oh! Yes! Sorry, yeah. Mr. Styles, what can I help you with?” you ask, not sure why Izzy’s dad would be calling you.

“Well I just recently learned from my daughter that you’re not working at the daycare any longer?” “Uh, yeah. Unfortunately I was fired this Monday…” you awkwardly answer.

“I’m sorry about that. Izzy has been really sad about it, I wanted to ask if you’ve found a new job already?”

“Not yet, I’ve been looking but I haven’t had much luck yet,” you confess.

“In that case I have an offer to make,” he firmly continues and you perk up at his words. “I’ve been thinking about pulling Izzy out of daycare, but I didn’t want to do it until I found someone to take good care of her. You’ve been her absolute favorite and she’s been devastated since you’ve been gone. If you’re up for a job of this kind, I would like to offer you a spot as Izzy’s nanny.”

“Oh!” is all you react, completely not expecting this call.

“I know there are a lot to discuss, but if you’re interested, I would be more than happy to have a chat with you sometime this weekend? To go over the details and see if we can make it work.”

“I, uh… Um, yeah. We can meet, that sounds good. When would it be good for you?”

“How about tomorrow afternoon?”

“That can work.”

“Amazing!” he beams. “I’ll send you the address through text if that’s alright for you.”

“Yeah, of course. When should I be there?”

“Would three o’clock suit you?”

“Absolutely,” you nod, stunned at the turn of events.

“Great, thank you so much, and once again, sorry to bother you on your Friday evening. Looking forward to see you tomorrow!”

“Thank you, Mr. Styles, see you soon!”

You get back in line at the bathroom and then make your way back to the table where Heather gives you a puzzled look.

“Did you take a massive shit or something?” she jokes as you take your seat and stare back at her, still in shock.

“No, I had a very interesting call, actually.”

“With who?”

“Um, Izzy Styles’ dad just called and offered me a job as her nanny.”

Heather almost chokes on her drink, coughing at the news. You hand her a napkin as she dries her chin off from her cocktail.

“Harry Styles wants you to be the nanny of his daughter?” she gasps.

“You know Izzy’s dad?”

“Y/N, everyone knows him! He is the sexiest man to walk this planet and not to mention that he is like stupidly rich! Have you not seen him yet?”

“Not really,” you shrug. “Izzy was picked up by an old woman most of the times, I guess I never worked when her dad came for her.”

“That explains why you’re not squirming already,” she scoffs. “That man is like… crazy hot, I’m telling you. I bumped into him one morning when I guess he was dropping Izzy off, the way he said ‘Pardon me, Darling’ made my knees shake,” she tells you, faking an accent that’s nowhere near what Mr. Styles sounded like on the phone.

“Well, I guess I’ll see him for myself. I’m meeting him tomorrow to discuss details,” you shrug and Heather slams her hand on the table.

“Oh my God! You’re gonna work for Harry Fucking Styles! Get ready because your panties will be soaking wet all the time,” she laughs like a hyena.

“Heather, stop!” you shake your head laughing too.

Following Mr. Styles’ call you decide to cut the night shorter than you intended, not wanting to look absolutely wasted when you meet him. Arriving home to your small, one bedroom apartment you take a quick shower before climbing to bed, staring up at the ceiling, trying to collect your thoughts. You told Heather you’re not willing to do the whole live-in nanny thing and Mr. Styles might not even want you to live with them, but now that the option is there, you realize it might not be the worst case scenario. Especially since you’re not really swimming in other job offers and you are in desperate need of anything at this point.

Despite having consumed quite some alcohol the previous night, you wake up at a reasonable hour in the morning, finding a text from Mr. Styles about the address you’d have to be going in the afternoon. You make a quick trip to the grocery store and do some chores before you start getting ready for the meeting. You opt for a simple black dress that reaches your knees and pair it with a little funkier, flower printed blazer to bring some color into the outfit.

Punching the address into the GPS you see that it’s taking you to the outer skirt of the city to the neighborhood that’s known to have some quite luxurious estates and you immediately think back to what Heather said about him being ridiculously rich. Driving down the streets in your old Volkswagen you couldn’t stand out more at a place where at least three cars park on the driveways and one of them is a Ferrari or a Porsche.

There’s a massive security gate under the address that’s your destination and it’s left open so you can pull up to the driveway easily. You park next to a fucking Tesla, finding it extremely funny to see your car next to it, but it is what it is. Walking up to the front door you ring the bell as you take a look at the house that can easily considered to be a mansion. Guessing from the outside there are at least about five bedrooms in it and you can only imagine what other luxurious units are squeezed into it.

Soon enough the front door opens and you find yourself staring back at a breathtakingly gorgeous man, wearing a white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up and black suit pants, his chocolate curls falling to his forehead as his emerald eyes fall on you, a warm smile tugging on his lips.

Shit. Heather was fucking right, you think to yourself swallowing hard.

“Miss Y/L/N, it’s so nice to see you. I’m Harry, Izzy’s dad, come on in!” he invites you inside before a short handshake.

“Nice to meet you too, Mr. Styles.”

“Please, just call me Harry. I don’t like formalities at home,” he asks you as the two of you walk further inside until you arrive to what looks like a living room, but it’s actually the size of your apartment.

“Only if you call me Y/N,” you smile at him and he nods right away.

“Miss Y/N!” you hear a small voice call out and turning around you see Izzy running down the hallway until she throws herself against your legs.

“Oh, hello Sunshine!” you hum, squatting down so you can hug her.

“I missed you!” she pouts, rubbing her eyes.

“I missed you too,” you smile at her, caressing her soft cheeks before standing up. An older lady walks in, the one you’ve seen picking up Izzy. She approaches you with a friendly smile as she extends a hand towards you.

“Hi, I’m Ruth, it’s nice to meet you.” “Y/N, nice to meet you too.”

“Ruth, would you take Izzy outside while I talk to Miss—erm, Y/N here?” Harry requests. Ruth nods and taking Izzy’s hand she lures her outside to look for ladybugs in the backyard and that immediately catches her attention. The two of them leave through the sliding door, giving you and Harry privacy.

“Please, have a seat,” he gestures towards the sectional couch. “Would you like something to drink?”

“I’m good, thank you,” you smile at him as he sits in an armchair across you.

The interior of the house is quite cozy, kind of modern with a hint of vintage touches that make it less rigid, a pop of color showing at most corners so it’s not too monochrome. You quite like it.

“Y/N, I once again apologize for calling you at such an inappropriate hour, but I often work late and I wanted to get in touch with you as soon as possible upon hearing the news.”

“Don’t worry about it, I understand.”

“Isabelle mentioned it to me on Thursday that the other workers told her you no longer work at the daycare so I asked around a little yesterday and was informed that they let you go earlier in the week.”

“It was quite sudden for me as well,” you chuckle lightly, feeling a little anxious to talk about it.

“I know it’s not too appropriate, but I asked why they chose you to part ways with and I have to say it’s outraging that some parents are so ignorant and wayward. I’m really sorry this had to be the reason out of everything.”

“Thank you.” It actually feels nice that he thinks the same, this whole firing was ridiculous and you were losing hope in humanity, but Harry is now very much restoring it.

“Let me walk you through what the situation is here and what I was thinking about.” You nod and listen carefully. “I’m president of a record label and it consumes most of my time, I sometimes work sixty hours a week which I know is not ideal and healthy and I’m trying to change it, but it’s not an easy situation. I thought that putting Izzy into daycare was a good idea, but it’s been getting harder to work around her schedule as a single parent with so much work on my hands. Ruth is a family friend who has been helping tremendously with Izzy, but she is not getting any younger and she would like to retire fully and spend more time with her own grandkids. So I’ve been thinking about hiring a nanny for Izzy and try to make her days work around mine while I’m able to do that. She is going to start preschool in little over a year and I want to spend as much time with her as possible, but it’s not easy when the schedule depends on an institution. When she told me about your firing I had the thought that you might be interested in taking the spot as her nanny. She is obsessed with you, wouldn’t stop talking about what you do every day, and I might have also looked into your professional background. I like what I’ve seen and I’m very much into the way you’ve been dealing with the kids at the daycare. Openness is really important and I want Izzy to grow up in an environment that teaches her about being equal and supportive towards each other. I would be more than happy if you’d be the one taking care of Izzy while I’m not available.”

To say the east you’re stunned at how forward and open he was about the offer and his compliment about your professional background is quite flattering. You can tell he is doing an amazing job at raising Izzy as an open and accepting human, she was always one of the nicest and sweetest kids who always made sure to include all her peers in the games you played. And it’s obvious Harry is not just being a hypocrite, his tattooed arm, painted nails and ring clad fingers are not quite what you’d traditionally imagine a man like him wear, but he does it well and clearly doesn’t give a fuck what others might think about it.

Harry continues with how much he thought you’d be earning for the job and you almost choke on your own saliva. It’s almost three times as much as you’ve been earning at the daycare and you’d be able to save a good chunk every month which is quite amazing.

“I have to ask, were you thinking about a situation where I live with you or I’d have to be coming here every day?”

“Well, essentially it would be the easiest for everyone if you moved in. I have plenty of rooms you could choose from and you’d have access to everything else as well, of course, including the home gym, the pool, the sauna and the entertainment room. But I understand if you are not willing to make that commitment. If you choose to live here you wouldn’t be charged anything, naturally.”

This actually sounds like a dream, moving into this luxury mansion from your cramped little apartment and being able to save the money you’ve been paying on rent.

“And what would be the time management? If I moved in it would easily make me fall into a habit of always working, which is not quite ideal,” you point it out.

“Of course,” he nods. “I like to take care of her morning routine so you’d have to start around nine when I leave to the office. If we can make this deal working I’d like her to start taking some extra classes during the day, moving her activities earlier in the day so her afternoons would be free. She takes piano lessons on Mondays and Wednesdays, a swimming instructor comes here on Thursdays and she is taking French lessons every Tuesday and Friday. Everything takes place here, I would reschedule her activities to take place between nine and twelve. You wouldn’t have to worry about her during those times. You’d cover lunch time and then the afternoons. I try to get home between four and six and just work from home if it’s possible so I can be around her. You’d have to only help out whenever I can’t make it home in time I have urgent works that have to be done from home. We could have dinner time together and then her night time routine is my duty again. Ruth is willing to help me out on Saturdays and I spend Sundays with her strictly without any work distraction so you’d have the weekends off unless something comes up. In those cases I would check in with you beforehand and arrange it however it works best for you.”

You’re speechless for a moment. What he just shared doesn’t seem too bad, you might have to work a lot more, but being one on one with just one kid is much easier than dealing with fifteen of them at once. Not to mention that the money is still amazing compared to what you’d have to be doing.

“I’m gonna be honest with you, it’s an amazing offer. Izzy is such a sweet girl, I would be more than happy to take care of her.”

Harry smiles at you warmly, clearly proud of his daughter, as he should be.

“Can I ask for some time to think about it? It would be a huge commitment.” “Of course. Take your time and let me know whatever your decision is.”

“Thank you.”

Harry offers a quick tour in the house regardless, the kitchen is massive, they have a nice dining area with floor-to-ceiling windows looking out to the green slopes of the backyard that seems to be Izzy’s kingdom. She has a playhouse that could almost function as a real one, the pool is filled with floaties for her and she has her own playground further in the back with slides, monkey bars and a swing set. Your assumptions were almost right about the number of bedrooms. Beside Harry’s master and Izzy’s own room there’s one that’s been used by Ruth, one that’s for Harry’s mother and sister for whenever they are staying over and there are three additional rooms now serving as guest bedrooms, one of those would be turned into your room if you chose to move in. The gym seems better than the one you’ve been going whenever you felt like being a little active, the entertainment room has everything you could ever think about for a room this sort of and the sauna is already calling your name. Living and working here might actually feel like a vacation.

“Miss Y/N! Look what I found!” Izzy runs up to you when you and Harry step out to the backyard, holding her pointing finger up. A ladybug is wandering around her tiny finger, not even bothering with the amazed girl that’s inspecting it.

“Wow! How many dots do you see on it?” you ask and she knits her eyebrows together, counting the black dots.

“Five!”

“Yes, good job!” you ruffle her curls as she smiles up at you proudly. She really is an angel, you’ve grown to like her a lot and you would be lying if you said you didn’t get emotional over thinking about never seeing her again. Being able to take care of her and give her the best possible childhood would be such a dream and the chance to do that is right in front of you.

“I’ll be waiting for your call, Y/N,” Harry smiles at you walking you towards the front door.

“Harry, I don’t think you need to do that,” you speak up and see his face fall, he obviously took it the wrong way, thinking that you want to say no to his offer.

“Oh…”

“It’s not that,” you chuckle softly. “I would love to take the job. And if you’re still okay with that, I’d like to move in, it would make everything just so much easier.”

You watch as his expression changes from disappointed to hopeful as he cracks a smile nodding.

“Yeah, the offer is still there. When do you think you can start?”

“How soon do you want to pull Izzy out of daycare?”

“As soon as possible. If I have to I can go in on Monday and do all the paperwork. You could move in sometime during the week maybe?”

“I have to talk to my landlord about my lease, but I’m fine with moving in during the week,” you nod smiling and you can’t help but feel excited.

“That would be wonderful. Thank you so much. I’m looking forward to working with you.”

You discuss a few more details and then you head out, thinking about how the next time you’ll be coming here, you’ll be moving in.

“If this one doesn’t go to the donate box, I’m leaving right now.”

Heather holds up a pair of denim shorts, painted in the colors of the flag of the States. She holds it pinched between her index finger and thumb as if it was something nasty and disgusting

“You know I only bought that for that stupid frat party. I never wore that anywhere else, so you can put it into the donate box.”

“Thank God!” she groans and throws the shorts into said box.

It’s Sunday evening and your place looks like a warzone, boxes taking up the place everywhere as you’re packing your life up to officially move into the Styles mansion. You agreed with Harry to bring over a good chunk of your stuff on Monday and then settle in for real on Tuesday. He is pulling Izzy out of daycare first thing on Monday and you’d stay at home with her for the first time on Wednesday. It’s been a fast paced change, but you couldn’t care less. With the amount Harry is gonna pay you, you’ll be able to save up a good chunk every month, like you always wanted to.

As you finish putting your books away you reach the shelves that contain all your photo albums. Photography has been your passion for a long time. It started as a simple hobby sometime through your freshman year in high school, but in senior year, your photos filled the yearbook and you even did the design of it too. You’ve had a few gigs since then, some weddings and pregnancy shoots and you like to sell your photos individually as well. You wouldn’t have imagined how much a simple nature photo costs.

Flipping through the one on the top, you can’t help the bitter smile on your face as you see the photos from your brother’s 14th birthday three years ago. There are tons of family pictures with you, your brother Trevor and your parents, seemingly being all happy and joyful. Things were different back then and you didn’t see anything coming.

It’s past midnight by the time you more or less finish packing, you’ve filled three big boxes with things to donate so you have significantly less stuff to move to the Styles mansion in the morning. Heather spends the night, but leaves early in the morning since she needs to go to work. The moving van you rented out arrives a little after eleven and the two guys from the moving company helps you load it with about two thirds of your stuff. Harry is at work when you arrive and Izzy is still at the daycare, Ruth is the only one at home, she helps you out even though you tell her not to break a sweat over it.

“Let me help, makes me feel needed,” she chuckles sweetly when you try to get her to stop, but she insists on bringing in some smaller bags and boxes.

You’re still unpacking when Ruth arrives back with Izzy a little after four. You hear her little feet tapping against the floor as she runs down the hallway, bursting into your future room.

“Miss Y/N! You’re here!” she cheers, throwing herself into your arms as you sit on the floor, being the perfect level for the little girl.

“I am! How was your day, little Sunshine?”

“We finger painted and I made a painting for daddy, do you want to see it?”

“Of course!”

Izzy disappears to get her backpack from Ruth who is making her some snacks in the kitchen. She soon returns with her painting, presenting it to you proudly.

“Look! This is me and this is daddy!” she points at the two human-like figures, the only thing giving away who is who is that one of them is bigger than the other one. “And then this is mommy!” she then adds, pointing at a star in the upper corner of the painting and you freeze.

In the midst of everything, you didn’t even have the time to question why Harry is a single parent. To be honest your first guess would have been divorce, but Izzy’s painting is telling you something a lot more tragic.

“It’s beautiful,” you smile at her, trying to hide your surprise at the new information. “I’m sure he’ll love it.”

Ruth makes sure Izzy is busy while you finish up unpacking and when you’re about to be done, Harry arrives home. Approaching your room even though the door is open he knocks on the doorframe, catching your attention.

“Hello, just wanted to see how things are going. Do you need help with anything? I’m sorry I couldn’t be here to help with the boxes and all…”

“Hi! Oh don’t worry about that, I had plenty of help,” you shrug smiling. “Everything is going fine, thank you.”

“Great. I did all the paperwork today, tomorrow is going to be Izzy’s last day at daycare. You’re still up to start on Wednesday, right?”

“Yeah, of course. I only have a few things left at home so I’ll be all set by tomorrow.”

“Thank you so much,” he smiles warmly. “And thank you for being so quick about everything. It means a lot to me that I can spend more time with Izzy thanks to you. I really appreciate it.”

“I should be thanking you the opportunity. I wasn’t really drowning in the job offers,” you chuckle making him smile as well. “Please let me know if you want me to change anything, I have a plan I would like to go around with Izzy’s days, but of course, your word is the most important.”

“I trust you to take good care of her during the day. The only thing I want is to have her home when I get home. Ruth couldn’t always pick her up before and I really hated to do the extra trip and pick her up from daycare instead of coming straight home to be with her.”

“Understandable. I’ll make sure to plan accordingly,” you nod smiling.

“Y/N, I want you to feel home as much as possible. This is your place just as much as it is ours now. Izzy and I go grocery shopping every Sunday, it’s kind of a father-daughter thing we do every week. We keep a list on the fridge, feel free to add whatever you need and we’ll get it.”

You can’t help the smile that stretches across your lips, because this is such a sweet thing to do, when Harry could easily afford someone to do the work for him. Yet he still uses this time to be with his daughter.

“Yeah, sure, thank you!”

“I’ll get out of your hair now. Would you like to stay for dinner?”

“Oh, no, but thank you. I still have some things to take care of before tomorrow.”

“Alright,” he nods before walking out. He leaves you thinking hard about him. You wonder what really happened to Izzy’s mom and if he is dating someone right now. A man like him is basically a dream to any woman, you doubt he is having a hard time finding a partner, but you haven’t seen any sign of another woman around the house. Guess you’ll have to wait and figure it out yourself.

The apartment is awfully empty on your last night here. When you moved in about a year ago you didn’t think you’d be moving into a mansion from here. You spend the evening cleaning out a bit so you leave the place in good condition. Your landlord was terribly nice about your early leave, you could easily agree that you’d pay for the two more weeks that’s left from the month and that would be all, no extra costs for moving out before your lease was up.

You’re cleaning off the kitchen counter when your phone starts ringing, it’s a video call from your brother.

“Hey there! What’s up?” you ask, propping up the phone on top of the microwave while you move around, doing your thing. Trevor seems to be lying in bed, a black hoodie covering his upper body.

“Hello, just wanted to see how the moving has gone today.”

Despite the ten year age gap between you and Trevor, your relationship couldn’t be better. Probably because you were old enough to see what a blessing a sibling really is when he was born.

“Everything went smoothly. I only have a few stuff to bring over, that can fit into my car tomorrow, so it’s fine.”

“Cool. How is the dude? What was his name again?”

“Harry. Harry Styles.” You see him pull his laptop to his lap and probably searches up Harry’s name before his eyes widen at the screen.

“This dude is big! He is the president of HES Records, they run some of the most popular singers these days.”

“Yeah? I was sure he is a big name judging from his mansion,” you chuckle.

“Have you looked him up yet?”

“Not really.” “Want me to read what’s here about him?”

“Sure,” you hum, continuing to clean while you listen to Trevor.

“Alright. Apparently he is thirty-one, took over the record company when he was just twenty-five because his father wanted to retire early. The number of talents working under the label has doubled since he has taken over and many of his clients have won Grammy Awards. Impressive,” he hums, scrolling down on whatever site he has just found. “He is known to be a private person, the last time he made an appearance… Oh shit…” Trevor breathes out and you turn to your phone with furrowed eyebrows.

“What?”

“Wow, this shit is heavy. It says the last time he made a public appearance was in 2017, not long before his wife was killed in a car accident.”

You freeze, feeling your stomach drop to the floor, immediately thinking back at Izzy’s painting of her family. It very much makes sense why she said the star was her mother, it must be the way Harry explained to her what happened to her mother.

“It happened in 2018, she wasn’t in the fault, a drunk driver ignored the red light and ran into her car at a crossroad. This is terrible, oh God.”

“Poor Izzy, she probably doesn’t even know what really happened.”

“Must have been hard on him, there’s not much about him since then.”

“Can’t blame him for not wanting to be in the spotlight after losing his wife.”

“Yeah.”

Trevor shows you a few pictures of him from years ago, he has always been handsome, but your favorites are the few from the times when he had long hair. He looked so different, like a whole other person, but still, he rocked it perfectly.

Then you show Trevor around in the empty apartment before loving to the couch, turning all your attention to him.

“How have things been?” you ask with a sigh. Trevor purses his lips and shrugs.

“Other than the constant screaming matches on the phone and endless fights every time dad comes over for more of his stuff? Everything is rainbows and butterflies.”

“Is it really that bad?” you scowl.

“It’s like they never run out of stuff to throw at each other, but I feel like this much couldn’t happen even in their twenty-eight years together,” he scoffs making you chuckle.

“I’m sorry you’re stuck in the middle of all that.”

“It’s like payback,” he hums and you give him a puzzled look. “You had it bad growing up for being the surprise baby, making them teen parents. Then I came at a reasonable time, they already knew the drill, but now that you’re out of the house I’m getting all the shit, having to deal with their divorce.”

“I’m really sorry, Trev,” you sigh, feeling guilty that he is all alone at home.

“It’s fine, I don’t blame you,” he shrugs. “But you could make it better if you asked your millionaire boss if I could hang out at his house sometimes.” He grins at you slyly and you roll your eyes. Of course he is already thinking about using you for his own good!

“I don’t want to push the boundaries just yet, but I’ll see what I can do.”

You talk a little more about school and what he’s been up to with his friends before ending the call. You take a shower and go to bed right away, feeling extremely worn out from all the packing you’ve done through the day.

The next day you pack the remainder of your stuff into your car and then your landlord comes over to do a checkup, though he fully trusts you took good care of the place.

“Again, thank you for your understanding, I didn’t plan to leave so early, but it just kinda came up,” you tell him, handing him over your keys.

“Don’t worry about it. I hope your new place will treat you right,” he smiles kindly at you.

You chat a little longer before you leave and head over to your new home. Once again, Ruth is the only one home and being the angel that she is, she helps you to carry your stuff up from the car before leaving to get Izzy from daycare. Since there’s not much left to unpack you finish quite fast, leaving you some extra time alone in the house. Walking around you try to learn your way around, still finding it a bit of a maze. You find Harry’s home office’s door open and after a bit of hesitation you step inside, just taking a look around. Yeah, it’s kind of a nosy thing to do, but you couldn’t help yourself.

His space is quite clear, he keeps his stuff neatly organized. Certificates and plaques are hung up on the wall, showing off his many successes in the business. There’s a huge bookcase near his desk and there you see some family photos… ones that include his late wife as well.

She was beautiful. There’s a picture of the three of them in the hospital from the day Izzy was born, Harry has an arm around his wife’s shoulders who is holding baby Izzy, both of them radiating happiness as they just become parents. Your heart breaks when you see the photo next to it, it’s just Harry and her in Paris, the Eiffel tower standing tall behind them as they are grinning widely at each other, foreheads touching. Harry has his arms wrapped around her slim figure while she is hugging his neck. They look so happy and in love, like they were always meant to be with each other. Knowing what tragedy hit them is just hard to process even for you, who never even met the woman.

You hear the front door open and Izzy is laughing at something, so you rush out before anyone could catch you snooping around.

“Hi Miss Y/N!” she chirps upon seeing you when you meet them in the living room.

“Izzy, you don’t have to call me Miss Y/N, Y/N is perfectly fine,” you smile at her, caressing her rosy cheeks.

“Okay. Ruth, can I please have some ice-cream?”

“I’m afraid we ran out of ice-cream, but I’ll put it on your grocery list,” Ruth tells her, a pout tugging on Izzy’s lips.

“How about this: I’m gonna make a delicious smoothie, that’s almost like melted ice-cream, would you like some?” you offer and her eyes brighten up immediately, nodding right away.

While Ruth puts away Izzy’s things they brought home from daycare, while the two of you move to the kitchen to make the smoothie together. You find some frozen berries in the freezer and pair them with bananas, putting them all into the blender with oatmilk, blending it all together.

“How is it?” you ask Izzy, who is sitting on top of the counter, tasting the pink smoothie that leaves a cute little mustache above her cherry lips.

“I like it!” she smiles, scrunching her nose.

“We can make it some other time then,” you smile, drinking up your portion.

Izzy is dancing around the kitchen, babbling about her last day at daycare while you clean the glasses and the blender when Harry arrives. He is wearing a baby blue suit with a crispy dress shirt underneath, looking fashionable but still business appropriate at the same time.

“Daddy!” Izzy launches towards her daddy, who catches her, throwing her into the air before holding her in his arms, joining you in the kitchen.

“Hey baby. How was your day?”

“Good, all my friends hugged me but I told them we would meet in the park.”

“That’s right, and I have the number of all your friends’ parents, we can have playdates with them whenever you want to,” he smiles before his eyes meet yours. “Hi Y/N, everything went well with the rest of your moving?”

“Yeah, I’m all set,” you smile back at him.

“That’s great. I have a few calls to make, but I’ll be done in thirty probably. Would you mind looking out for Izzy in the meanwhile?”

“Of course. She promised me to take me around her room, so we could do that, what do you say?” you ask the little girl who nods in excitement.

Harry disappears in his office and Izzy pulls you to her room, showing you just about every toy she owns. Her room is a typical girl’s room, the walls are painted a light pink color, her bedframe resembles a castle and she has a dollhouse as big as your previous bathroom. Harry clearly spoils her rotten, but what you noticed is that she is not one of those annoying bratty only children who can’t take no. She was clearly taught how to behave and always listen to the adults.

While Izzy is putting her stuffed animals away after introducing you to all of them, you spot a photo frame near her bed, decorated with macaroni. You remember when you all did that together at daycare and now you get to see the photo that ended up behind the glass.

It’s a photo of Izzy and her mother, she was just a baby and doing quick math in your head you realize it must have been not long before her accident, might even be the last picture taken of the two of them. Her mom is smiling at the camera while Izzy is sleeping in her arms peacefully. Izzy looked a lot like her when she was a baby, the bridge of her nose and her lips resembled her mother’s, though now she appears to take more after her dad with her chocolate curls and piercing green eyes.

“That’s my mommy,” she tells you when she sees you looking at the photo.

“It’s a nice picture,” you smile at her, trying your best to hide how heartbroken you feel even just looking at the photo.

“Daddy said she had to go up to the sky, but she is watching me from there,” she explains, clearly not entirely sure what it means, but you can tell she misses her. “Daddy said she is living between the stars now and that she loves me very much.” You need to fight your tears back at her words.

“I’m sure of that too,” you breathe out smiling at her.

“Izzy, do you want to help me make dinner?” Harry walks in smiling, though it disappears for a moment when he sees the two of you looking at the photo of his wife, but he is quick to control himself.

“Yes! What are we making?” she runs over to him, jumping up and down.

“Uh, chicken and veggies.”

You step away from the photo, pretending like nothing just happened. You’re dying to discuss it with Harry, hear him talk about it, but you won’t push him. If he wants to share it, he’ll come to you.

“Alright, come on then,” he smiles down at her. “Thank you for watching her, I’ll take over from here. Food will be ready in about an hour, Ruth is staying with us as well,” he informs you.

“Great, I’ll… I’ll be in my room,” you nod.

The first two weeks on the job brush past smoothly. It takes you some time to get used to your new home, but taking care of Izzy doesn’t feel like work, so you’re feeling amazing in your new job. You easily fall into a schedule with her.

The mornings are always Harry’s duty. He wakes her up around seven-thirty, makes her breakfast and dresses her for the day before he leaves around nine. Thanks to this habit of his, you’re able to sleep in until eight, leaving you plenty of time to get ready for your day with Izzy before Harry has to leave. Depending on the weather, the two of you then either take over the back yard or move to her room for some play time before her class of the day starts in the noon. Piano with Rosaline on Mondays and Wednesdays, French lesson with Lyon on Tuesdays and Fridays and then Izzy’s favorite on Thursdays, swimming class with Kitty.

Izzy loves to help in the kitchen so you usually make lunch together. Once her tummy is full she takes a nap before you sit down to learn something new every day. You’ve been teaching her the numbers and the alphabet, or some days you just talk about anything that interests her and learn at least two things she hasn’t know yet, all through games so she doesn’t even realize what you’re doing. You’re usually done by around three, leaving you time to take a visit to the park, if Harry is not planning to take her himself later that day.

You’re strictly home by four, unless it’s Tuesday when she has her dance class until five. Those days you drive her to her class, run some quick errands and pick her up. Harry usually uses his extra time in the office on these days, but he is always home by six to have dinner together with his daughter.

Once Harry is home you’re off duty, though you like to stay close, not just in case something comes up for Harry, but because you genuinely like spending time with Izzy and Harry, seeing them interacting.

Harry sometimes has to work on Saturdays as well, but just as he promised Ruth is always here to take over duty on those days, leaving you free for the whole weekend. It’s been working perfectly for you and those very few concerns you had about moving in dissolve quite fast as soon as you start working.

Though it’s been pretty clear to you before, you now one hundred percent sure that Harry is living for his daughter. She is always a priority, he doesn’t hesitate to decline any work calls he gets in the evenings if Izzy needs him, if she is a little fussy and wants her daddy’s attention or when they are in the middle of a game. He is clearly trying to keep a balance between his work and role as a father and from what you’ve seen, it seems like he is doing an amazing job in that. However you haven’t learned much else about him. He is all friendly towards you, but makes sure to keep it business casual, not quite keen on getting to know each other better as just friends, maybe.

A Friday afternoon you’re having a little tea party in the backyard with Izzy when Harry arrives home, but this time, he is not alone. Through the sliding door you spot him with a blonde guy who is talking very articulately as Harry is typing on his phone. The man looks about Harry’s age, but you can’t tell if he is a friend or a business partner, but if Harry brought him home, he is more likely to be a friend of his.

“Uncle Niall!” Izzy gasps when he spots the man through the glass and abandoning the tea party, she starts running towards the door. The man spots her and slides the door open grinning widely before she jumps into his arms.

“Little bugger! How are ya?” the man laughs, holding Izzy in a tight hug before leaning back to take a good look at her. You notice his thick Irish accent and it suits his appearance quite well. You head inside as well, in case Harry needs Izzy busy for a little longer, though he doesn’t mind having her around, kissing the top of her head before finishing up whatever he was doing on his phone, watching Niall and Izzy smiling.

“I’m having a tea party with Y/N, wanna join?” Izzy invites the man, who then looks at you for the first time, smiling widely.

“Hi, I’m Y/N, Izzy’s new nanny,” you introduce yourself, holding out a hand that he shakes, keeping Izzy in his other arm without a problem.

“Nice to meet ya, I’m Niall.”

“Y/N, Niall is an old friend of mine. He is joining us for dinner, hope you don’t mind,” Harry informs you and you find it funny how he is kind of asking for your approval when it’s his house.

“Not at all.”

“Harry has told me he hired a pair of new hands to help, but he didn’t mention it’s a stunning young woman!” Niall beams, making you blush right away.

“Ni, I would appreciate it if you didn’t try to pick up my daughter’s new nanny,” Harry warns him lightly, though there’s some firmness in his tone, not that it scares Niall in any way, he even winks at you.

“Oh come on, you can’t expect me not to flirt when you surround yourself with so many pretty women! First Ruth and now Y/N!”

You smile at him, something is telling you he wasn’t joking and he tried to flirt with Ruth as well. Harry just rolls his eyes at his friend, taking Izzy from him.

“Keep it in your pants, Niall,” Harry tells him and though it’s nothing vulgar, it catches Izzy’s attention.

“What should he keep in his pants?” she questions, making your and Harry’s eyes grow big right away. Luckily, Niall keeps his cool and takes care of the situation.

“My attitude, Sweetie. Your daddy is just jealous because I’m more handsome than he is,” he smirks at the little girl, successfully avoiding an awkward conversation about what it is that Niall should keep in his pants.

You smile at his reply, even though you are not that sure about the comparison he just made between himself and Harry.

“Izzy, do you want to continue the tea party?” you ask her and even though just a minute ago she was inviting Niall to join her, now she shakes her head no. “Alright, I’ll pack it up then.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it. We’ll do it, right Izzy? She brought it all out, she is going to be the one packing it up,” Harry reminds her and she nods.

The two of them move outside to put her little tea set back into the basket she keeps it in, leaving you and Niall alone.

“So Y/N, how did you end up here?”

“I was working at Izzy’s daycare, but they sent me away not long ago. Then Harry contacted me and offered the job which was a lifesaver, truly.”

“That’s great! Well, not that you got fired, but that you ended up here. I know it means a lot for Harry that he can spend more time with Izzy, you’re making everything a lot easier for him.” Niall walks over into the kitchen and grabs a water for himself as he leans against the counter. “I can see that he is a lot more relaxed now already.”

“Really?” you ask, surprised.

“Yeah. I know he always used to stress about picking Izzy up, or forgetting something the daycare asked for. Now he can make it all work just how he wants to, that fits him a lot more. It hasn’t been easy on him since Maggie’s death.”

This is the first time you hear anyone talk about Harry’s wife and now you just learned her name. Maggie.

“Being a single parents is never easy,” you add with a soft smile, not wanting to interrogate Niall about Maggie. It’s Harry’s place to tell you about her, if he wants to, of course.

Soon enough Izzy and Harry take over the kitchen, Niall helping them this time and you leave them alone, taking some time for yourself in your room. Later you go out to check if there’s anything you could help with, Harry asks you to set the table as he finishes up the cooking.

“So, Y/N. Tell me a little bit about yourself!” Niall asks you over dinner.

“Um, what do you want to know?” you ask, feeling a little flustered to be in the spotlight.

“I don’t know, family, friends, hobbies?”

“Well, I have a younger brother, Trevor. He is seventeen and already taller than me.”

“Oh, that seems like a big age gap.”

“Ten years, to be exact,” you nod. “He was planned, I wasn’t,” you add with a soft chuckle. “But we have a great relationship, so it’s all good. We talk almost every day.”

“I’m sure you’ll get well along with Gemma then!” Niall beams, glancing at Harry.

“Gemma is my sister,” Harry explains. “Though she is not that much older than me.”

“But you can bond over being stuck with a younger brother who outgrew you,” Niall jokes making all three of you laugh.

All through dinner you realize how different Niall is from Harry, but in a good way. While Harry is more quiet and calm, Niall is kind of all over the place, buzzing and chatting every chance he got, but the two of them make a great pair, bringing what the other doesn’t have to the table.

After dinner you attempt to leave them again, but Niall makes you stay as they open a glass of wine. Harry puts on a movie for Izzy to keep her busy, giving the three of you a chance to sit out at the terrace from where you still can keep an eye on the little girl inside.

“Alright, Y/N. When are we going on our first date then?” Niall asks out of the blue, a cocky smile tugging on his lips.

“Niall, for fuck’s sake,” Harry breathes out as you let out an awkward chuckle.

“What? I think there’s some electricity going on between us.”

“I, uhh—I don’t…”

“Please don’t turn me down!” he sighs dramatically, making you smile.

“You’ve been great company, but I’m not sure we should go out,” you tell him. He huffs in disappointment, but it’s clear he didn’t take it to his heart.

“Is it because you’re taken? I didn’t even ask, are you dating anyone? You can’t be engaged, because I don’t see any rings,” he points out, nodding towards your naked fingers, however his words make you suck on your breath.

“I’m not engaged. Not anymore,” you admit and you watch their eyes go wide at the information.

“Wait, you’ve been engaged before?” Harry asks, clearly surprised, if not shocked.

“Yeah. For about four months,” you nod, running your tongue over your lips as you reach for your wine, taking a few large gulps.

“And what did the fucker do?” Niall bluntly questions, earning a look from Harry. “What? I’m just curious what twat it takes to lose a woman like her!”

“Maybe she doesn’t want to talk about that,” Harry presses, but you shrug.

“It’s not a secret. We dated for about two years before he proposed. I said yes, started planning the wedding and everything, then found out that he had been cheating on me with his assistant for about a year. We broke up, simple as that. It’s in the past, happened a year ago.”

“That’s some next level asshole bullshit,” Niall shakes his head while Harry is just staring at you with an unreadable look before he turns his attention at his glass, still clearly deep in his thoughts and you wonder what he thinks of you now. Here is the loser who not only got cheated on, but lost her job, all of that just in one year.

Harry doesn’t react, and a moment later Izzy comes out because she is thirsty, so daddy duties call him away. Niall stays a little, but heads home soon as well.

“It was nice meeting you, Y/N. The date still stands though,” he smirks when he pulls back from the short hug he enveloped you in.

“Alright,” you chuckle, slowly getting used to his flirty act.

You was the wine glasses and head back to your room while Harry walks Niall out and then takes Izzy upstairs to give her a bath. You don’t cross paths until later when you leave your room, already in your pajama pants and an oversized t-shirt to grab some water for yourself and he walks out of Izzy’s room just then, probably done with putting her to sleep.

“I’m sorry if Niall made you uncomfortable, he didn’t mean to be rude or anything,” he apologizes as the two of you walk together.

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” you chuckle softly. “It was kind of a boost to my ego, if I’m being honest.”

Harry huffs with a smile and stops at the kitchen island, his fingers tapping on his lips as you grab yourself a bottled water.

“I’m… I’m sorry about… about what you told us earlier.”

Closing the fridge you look at him, seeing that he is kind of hesitant, like he is not sure he should have spoken up, but you appreciate the thought.

“It’s alright. Just water under the bridge,” you shrug.

“I just feel bad you had to go through that.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” you chuckle softly. “It sucked, yeah. I really thought I would live happily ever after with Keith, but instead I got a lesson.”

“A lesson?”

“When we broke up I was obviously on the floor, both literal and theoretical way. I thought it was my fault, that I did something wrong and that’s why he did what he did. I even thought that I’m not worthy of being loved and being in love again. Took me time to realize that no matter what happened, I still deserve to be happy and to find someone to love and who can love me back.”

It appears that your words touch him deep, staring back at you, he just nods shortly, not replying to anything you just said. You’re not sure he is so silent because he doesn’t really understand what you just talked about or if it hit too close to home. Whatever it is, he keeps it to himself.

“Good night, Harry,” you smile at him before walking out of the kitchen and up into your room.

You’re lying in bed already when you hear him open his room’s door and then close it and suddenly he is all you can think about. The way his eyes sometimes pierce down on you, the way he taps his fingers against his lips when he is thinking hard or the proud smile that always plasters across his face whenever he is watching Izzy do basically anything. But you do see some pain in those beautiful green eyes of his and your desire to take just the smallest fracture of it away grows, even though he is not showing any sign that he is willing to share it with you.

The next morning, despite having the day off, you wake up quite early. You toss and turn, try to fall back asleep a little longer, but you just can’t. It’s a nice, warm morning and you decide to take advantage of the little balcony attached to your room. Wrapping yourself in your fluffy robe you grab the book you started reading a few days ago and sit out, enjoying the morning Sun that’s shining right at you on the balcony.

You don’t even realize for a while that you’re not the only early riser. When your eyes wander down to the big oak tree that’s near Izzy’s playground, you spot Harry doing what appears to be yoga on a green mattress, wearing nothing else, just a pair of black shorts. No shirt.

For a moment you think about going inside, feeling like you’re invading his privacy in a way, but you have the right to enjoy the morning Sun on your balcony, it’s not your fault he decided to have yoga at the exact same time. And it’s just hard not to look at his shirtless body stretching in all directions, twisting and turning as he goes through the motions, his tattooed body on full display.

It’s been clear since the moment you laid eyes on him for the first time that Harry is probably the most beautiful man you’ve ever met and that includes all your exes. Paired with his kind of mysterious charisma and the way he takes care of his daughter, he is the whole package, but you have been busy with Izzy to dwell too long on how attractive he really is. But right now, you are not working and he is very much shirtless in the backyard, teasing you with thoughts you definitely shouldn’t be thinking about when it comes to your boss.

A shaky breath leaves your mouth as you let yourself watch him just for a few more minutes before heading back inside, not wanting to get busted for being a stalker and also not wanting to see him in more positions and have even more unholy thoughts about him.

But what you don’t know is that just as you step inside, Harry catches your figure disappearing in your room, knowing well you saw him too.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

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[idontblushsrry]

Sesshomaru||NSFW Alphabet

A/N: That’s right, I wrote an NSFW alphabet for him as well. How could I not, he’s a hottie. Also somehow, I managed to keep this w a gender neutral reader, so all my Sesshomaru fans may enjoy (unless u ship s*ssrin, then leave)

Word Count: 1911

Warnings: Obviously nsfw

A - Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

After sex, Sesshomaru returns to his initial composure almost immediately. Like he’ll pant for a few seconds, wipe his dick off and then immediately, boom, like nothing ever happened. Of course, you, are thoroughly wrecked, needing Sesshomaru’s help, help which he is more than happy to give.

B - Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite body part on himself has to be his arm/arms (depending). He loves his arms for a reason completely separate from you, he just enjoys the fact that he finally has two arms, like he thinks back to all the times he didn’t properly appreciate his left arm, and vows to never make that same mistake.

C - Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

As much as he loves cumming on your body, nothing compares to the feeling of cumming inside you. He loves to watch you slowly lose all coherency as he just fucks you full of his cum. If you let this man cum inside you, you will unleash a whole new beast, that you’re gonna have to be prepared to deal with. 

D - Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Sometimes, when Sesshomaru knows he’s going to be away from you for a long time, he tries to fuck you as much as possible. He knows that he’ll miss you and gets a little more lovey dovey, but above all, he’s trying to remember the feeling of you so he can better mimic it with his had.

E - Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Sesshomaru is extremely experienced, on account of both his rank and his power. Demons are attracted to power and rank and, being so noble, Sesshomaru has never had any trouble with finding a partner to warm his bed. He’s not versed in everything but he has a strong sense of intuition and a deep connection with his own desires.

F - Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

A bit cliché, but, his favorites are doggy style and mating press. Any position where he has the leverage to press you down and fuck into you also ranks pretty high on his list.

G - Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Sesshomaru is so serious in the moment. He gets so laser focused on pleasing you that he finds any distractions to be a bit...grating. That being said, you’re the exception, if he happens to make you laugh during sex, he’ll just roll his eyes affectionately before shutting you up with a kiss.

H - Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He’s about as well groomed as any man of his station at the time would be. He’s not exactly shaving down there but his hair is so fine that it isn’t unbearable. Also the carpet definitely matches the drapes, his hair is extremely light and it’s hard to see sometimes.

I - Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Sesshomaru is very intimate in subtle ways. He shows you hat he cares by doing little things to ensure your comfort. Whether it’s brushing sweat off your head, setting pillows under your hips, or retracting his nails when he holds you, Sesshomaru is the king of unspoken intimacy. He loves you and he’s going to show it in the most obvious way.

J - Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

As stated earlier, Sesshomaru really only jacks off out of necessity. He had no problem with getting someone to fuck, ad now that he has you, he doesn’t see the need to masturbate. The only time he’ll do so is if you’re gonna be away from him for a while and he’s really horny.

K - Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Sesshomaru has a breeding kink, sorry not sorry. Even if you can’t get pregnant, something in him just tells him to keep filling you with his cum until it spills out. At which point, he just repeats the process. He also has a thing for marking, whether it be by scent, hickies, or with his cum, he loves the reminder/proclamation that you’re his.

L - Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Sesshomaru’s not picky about location. He’s of the opinion that, as long as you’re comfy, he’s ok with it. He does enjoy having his fill of you in your shared bedroom, but yall aren’t really home often enough for him to be that particular about it.

M - Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

The only thing that turns Sesshomaru on is the sight/thought of you naked and waiting for him. 

N - NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Sesshomaru does not care all that much for sharing, and in a similar vein, voyeurism. With voyeurism, he doesn’t mind fucking out in the open, as long as no one else is around. The second he gets whiff of anyone, he’s pulling out of you faster than you can even realize what’s going on. With sharing, just don’t ask. He won’t show it but, the thought of someone else even seeing you that vulnerable enrages him and sets off his baser instincts. If you suggest it, he’s going to be very hurt for some time.

O - Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Sesshomaru probably didn’t even know about oral until you went down on him for the first time. While he isn’t exactly the most experienced in it, he more than makes up for it with his sheer voracity. If you ask him to give you head, he’s getting on his knees, laying you back like, “say less”.

P - Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Sesshomaru can be both but he tends to lean on the more fast and rough side. Sure, your hips and legs hurt, but who can really complain when there’s a powerful demon pounding into you like a jackhammer.

Q - Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

When you first told Sesshomaru what a quickie entailed, he was intrigued. Admittedly, he didn’t like the concept at first, but the more he thought about it the more it grew on him. He likes the thought of you being so needy for him that you’d rather jump him as soon as possible than wait to get home.

R - Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

In terms of experimentation, Sesshomaru’s not all that open to it. He’ll try if you insist but he’s definitely not one to suggest any experimentation. As for risks in terms of location, as long as he’s far enough from others, he doesn’t really care where y’all fuck or how loud you are. 

S - Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

He can go as long as you can. He does like to build your endurance more and more each time, but sex in general with him is a serious time commitment.  He’s more than willing to space it throughout the day if that would suit you better.

T - Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

No toys, Sesshomaru doesn’t see the point in them. It also goes back to his thing about sharing, while he won’t be as angry as he would be with another person there, the thought infuriates him. Just thinking about an object getting to feel you in the same way he does make him see red.

U - Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Sesshomaru prefers not to tease, but he will if he feels the need to. He prefers to get straight to the point, letting you cum as many times as he sees fit to, honestly, prep you to take him in. But if he’s feeling particularly slighted, (whether by you or some demon he can’t quite murder) he’ll take it all out on you. While he won’t tease you in public, in private, he’ll work you up, get you right on the edge of cumming, and then pull it away. The more you whimper and whine, the more tempted he is to draw out your torture.

V - Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Sesshomaru is pretty quiet... usually. While he prides himself on his control, of which extends even to the bedroom, letting out a few grunts once he’s about to cum, his rut is a different story. Sesshomaru refuses to talk about or even acknowledge how unihinged he acts during his rut but honestly, the moment he gets a whiff of your arousal, he sounds like a wild animal. Every repressed emotion and sound comes bubbling back up to the surface and he just goes around growling and panting until he can stick his dick in you.

W - Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Sesshomaru tries his best to be gentle/hold back with you. It’s not obvious and you haven’t noticed because most of it happens in the heat of the moment when you’re distracted by...other things. But, he knows he tends to lose himself inside of you so in preparation, he’ll remove his hands from your body and let his claws rip into the surface under/behind you, whether it be a tree, bed, or just the floor. One of these times, his poison accidently activated and he shielded your body by leaning down and making out with you. That day, he discovered his affinity for kissing you while pounding into you.

X - X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Mans got a third leg, I just know. The baggy pants hide it pretty well but when you manage to pull it out, he’s easily 8 inches (10-12 when fully hard depending on circumstances), uncut, and really pretty. Like other parts of him, Sesshomaru’s dick is beautiful, a small patch of silver hair near his base. Speaking of, Sesshomaru does have a knot, if he cums inside of you, he tries to do so without getting it stuck just because of the fact that it’s kind of a hassle waiting it out. But if you let him knot you and the situation allows it, he might go a little feral whoops.

Y - Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Sesshomaru has a pretty high sex drive and before you, he could control it pretty well in all instances besides his rut. He still maintains his impeccable control but he finds himself ready to go a lot more often than he used to be. Like if you ask him, he’s immediately down regardless of what he’s doing. The only time that he gets supernaturally and uncontrollably horny is when he goes into rut. At which point...good luck getting his dick out of you.

Z - ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

While Sesshomaru doesn’t really get tired after sex in the same way you do, he does understand when you’re kind of tapped out for the night/day/moment and is more than content to watch you sleep. After a while though, the sounds of your heartbeat and the quiet sounds of your breathing will set him at ease and put him to sleep.

[tossawary]

I’m more into Canon Divergence at the moment, but I have a soft spot for Time Travel fic (especially with a splash of Crack Treated Seriously), and I can’t help but think how funny it would be if in MDZS Jin Zixuan was the time traveller who finds themselves reliving their life post-death. 

1) This man has next to no fucking clue about what is up with Wei Wuxian’s anything. No knowledge of core transfers. Does not understand "demonic" cultivation. Probably nearly completely oblivious to the Wangxian love story, unless Yanli somehow knew and complained to him about it at any point, so if he managed to help hook them up it would definitely be by complete accident.  

2) He’s probably pretty great at spotting tense relationship dynamics, but only so he can avoid them. Does NOT understand most people’s motivations here and when he does, probably wishes he didn’t. 

3) He probably also has next to no fucking clue about what his father and half-brother were up to at most points. Like, vague suspicions, maybe! Just enough to know that he probably wanted no part in it! He showed up to the Sunshot Campaign and did what he was told, but all he really wants is to be married to Jiang Yanli and to be a dad! 

So, like, by the rule of situational awareness, this man would no idea where to start for a “perfect time-travel fix-it”. Jin Zixuan is in the past and brimming with NEW DAD energy and ready to CRY because he just wants to be married to his wife again. He’s got new emotional awareness (touch-and-go) and social skills (also sort of shaky when it comes to being Sincere) and probably no idea how to act like his past self or hide his skills properly! 

I think it would be very funny if he somewhat blindly tried to help his half-siblings (he does NOT know about the Qin Su situation) and tried to better get along with his future brothers-in-law, and accidentally ended up being the (awkward but earnest) Dad Friend of the group. Like, his ability to actually enact immediate change is very limited and he might not be able to invite his half-siblings into the Jin Sect (he’s got enough political awareness not to try and force that, probably), but he could probably help them into better positions and write them letters to check on their progress in which he’s like, “Good job, sport! I knew you could do it! I’m so proud of you!” 

This weirds everyone in their age group out, like, “Did I just get advice from Jin Zixuan? Why do I feel the urge to ask him for advice?” While Jin Zixuan is like, “You are all CHILDREN?! I must guide you and be the mature one here, even though I do NOT know what I am doing. Let me Protect You.” 

(Meng Yao is probably like, “This guy is an idiot and I can’t believe he thinks this sort of manipulation will EVER work on me, but I’m not going to turn down this advantage.” Until Jin Zixuan actually manages to meet up with him at the Gusu Lectures or a Discussion Conference, and gives Meng Yao a hug and a pat on the back, and Meng Yao thinks about that brotherly contact for the next four months straight, like, “IS THIS WORKING ON ME?”) 

Until, after the Sunshot Campaign: Round 2, Jin Zixuan belatedly realizes that he’s become a (Maybe Begrudgingly) Beloved Brother and (Also Begrudgingly) Respected Future Brother-in-Law. Madam Jin and Jin Guangshan are looking at their son dadding his bastard half-siblings like, “What the FUCK are you doing? You’re going to get stabbed in the back?!” 

And Jin Zixuan, who has been all but stitching baby blankets for the children he can’t wait to have for years (him being much nicer to Jiang Yanli this time around goes almost without saying), just looks at his dad helplessly like, “Well, YOU weren’t being their father??? SOMEONE had to do it.” 

[tobesoalive]

Sam Kiszka NSFW Alphabet

hello everyone welcome back! sorry I've been behind on posting, I've been struggling to find inspiration and motivation between school and work but I'm hoping to get back into the swing of things! Thank you all for your patience and enjoy these steamy headcanons :)

WARNINGS: Smut (basically everything lol)

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

After sex Sam will collapse next to you and proceed to wrap his arms around your waist, pulling you flush against his chest as he sighs in satisfaction. This is usually accompanied by kisses on your neck and his voice praising you for doing such a good job for him. After a few minutes he will get up to bring you to the bathroom and fetch you a glass of water while you wait for him in the bath.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Sam’s favorite part of his body is his nose. He thinks its a pretty nose, nice and slim with a perfect point at the end. He loves how it pokes at your clit when he’s eating you out or burying it in your hair, taking in your scent as his hips relentlessly slams his hips into yours.

His favorite part of your body is your thighs. He loves to nip at them to tease you, loves gripping them while he pumps in and out of you, lifting them so he can pound into you at an angle.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

While he does like cumming deep inside you on occasion, what Sam really loves is to pull out and paint either your stomach or your face with his cum. He thinks you look so beautiful with his release dripping down your skin.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Sam loves giving and receiving hickies. To some it may seem juvenile but he loves that he can leave his mark so everyone knows your his, and vice versa.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Despite what many may think, I feel like Sam has very little experience under his belt. Sure he’s had partners in the past but only 2 or 3. That doesn’t mean he has no idea what he’s doing, he’s a natural in the bedroom.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Sammy is game for any position, but he really loves missionary because it allows him to look at your face and watch your reactions while he’s fucking you, which turns him on extensivley. He also enjoys pounding into you from behind because it allows him to go deeper which drives you crazy.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Sam takes your sex life very seriously, and he usually prefers to keep it that way, but he has been known to crack a joke or make a cheeky comment while he’s fully sheathed inside you.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Unlike his other hair, sam prefers to keep the hair in his nether regions rather cleaned up. He still keeps a small patch of curls above his dick, but overall he likes to keep it more clean shaven.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

It really varies with Sammy, sometimes he can be romantic and sweet, taking his damn time worshipping every inch of you, but he will also fuck you into oblivion whe he’s in a mood.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

I think Sam can’t keep his hands off his dick. Like seriously every night he’s on tour your phone rings and on the other end you can hear him breathing heavily before asking you to talk dirty to him. You aren’t complaining by any means though!

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

I think Sam has a big dominance kink, he always likes to be the one in charge and lets you know that. Sometimes he wants you to call him names like daddy or sir and he’ll call you his princess. I also think this bitch is super into edging and tying his significant other up. Also he loves to see his fingers in your mouth or wrapped around your throat.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Anywhere around the house tbh, but with his height he likes to have you on a surface like the kitchen counter or the bathroom sink so your cunt is at the perfect level for him to pound into you.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Lots and lots and lots of things turn this man on, but the one you know will always get him is if you act really bratty or give him attitude, there is nothing he wants more than to show you who’s in control right then and there.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Sam is game for a lot of things but I don’t think he’d ever want to do something that would cause you actual pain. Sure light spanking and choking he’s okay with but nothing beyond that.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Sammy loves to wrap his lips around your clit and prod at your entrance with his fingers, watching you come undone, he especially likes it when you tangle your fingers in his hair as you write from the feeling of his mouth.

He REALLY loves seeing your lips wrapped around his cock, gently guiding your head to bob up and down on his length, it will have him cumming in no time.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Like I said before Sam can do either, it really all depends on what mood he’s in.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

While he will pull a quickie every so often if you guys are on a crunch for time, he doesn’t prefer them. He’d rather wait until your schedules are clear so he can really take his time with you.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

If you propose an idea to Sam he is literally in the bedroom before you can finish telling him. Most of the time he’s down to try new stuff.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Sam can go a solid two rounds at most himself, but he makes sure you cum at least three times.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

You and Sam have a few toys that you bust out every so often, some silk restraints and a little bullet vibrator that he likes to press on your clit when he fucks you.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Unfair should be this man’s middle name. Samuel is one of the biggest teases in the book, but it turns him on so much seeing you grow more and more frustrated.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Sam will let out soft moans and groans but he loves dirty talking to you, always telling you how good you feel and how good you take him.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

One of Sam’s favorite things to do is make you ride his thigh. He might be reading or working on a song while you beg him to fuck you, and he’ll say some shit like “well babygirl you know how to get yourself off if you really want it that bad” before patting his thigh.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Sam is longer than average thats for sure, he’s about 8 inches, probably even a bit over, and he’s not too girthy.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

He has a very high sex drive but he knows how to control it. He just tries to go off how you’re feeling and whether you’re in the mood or not

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Within five minutes that man is out like a light. He’ll do his aftercare duties but the second his head hits that pillow he’s gone. But that’s okay, he works hard and never forgets to tell you how much he loves you before closing his eyes.