#actually expected just this

[beardedhandstoadshark]

Anyways, anyone want a live reaction summary of that movie? Well here it is anyways

(Cw for mentions of all the stuff typical for a jumpscare horror movie)

They‘re unironically trying to sell the house of the first movie as a spooky lost place far off a spooky village filled with distrustful and unsettling people it. Such scary individuals like. A middle-aged lady looking at them though a window. Or five guys sitting on stairs. And emo teens. Spooky

The random old crazy guy who tells them it’s DaNgeRous here while laughing totally maniacally before going GET OFF MY LAWN because of course

DEER

Also, our characters: MC Arthur fanboy whose 18th birthday it is, MC‘s love interest who thinks MC should grow up, Logan Paul Hair and his bro Goatee guy, Token dark skinned funny guy, Glasses guy afraid of frogs who‘s kinda got the same outfit and speaking style to yours truly fr that’s just me, Glasses girl with camera, pretty blonde girl. Prediction: all of them except MC, Love interest and one of the bros die

Ok they arrived at the house, whimsical music plays as they look amazed at the trees blooming pink when it’s not even spring…only for the music to cut out when they see they’re made of plastic. Ngl that was kinda funny

Spooky black feather stuck in a secret small door leading to a basement that wasn’t part of the movie oOoOOoh

Now it’s dark, they’re making a bonfire outside, and there’s spooky Hippopotamus noises (that’s what they called them in the movie)

NOT THE MC GETTING NIGHTMARES ABOUT DEER AND FLASHBACK SCENES FROM THE FIRST MOVIE LMAO

There‘s hidden figures in the woods with lanterns and this dude calls the names of some dudes they saw a lost place video of that house of. And when they suddenly all vanish he just goes back to bed

The bros are going to a river and glasses guy got lost in the woods while ominous music plays, Oh they’re absolutely not coming back F to them

Spooky random hole that’s seemingly endless but makes spooky sounds, check

There‘s suddenly spooky fog out of nowhere surrounding glasses guy. He touched a weird tree that had moss all over except for a part that looks like the outline of someone hugging the tree, and got punched in the face. Meanwhile the bros chill until blood drops on the one guy, aaaaand the filter switched to grey! 50min of nothing and then it escalates completely. This movie is 1.5h long btw

Turns out they found one of the guys from the video hanging from a tree after not seeing he‘s there for like 20min, dude steps on a super obvious bear trap trying to get him, but ngl the actors are doing a good job at acting as far as I can tell with the dub.

Holy heck these characters are actually kinda competent - nvm they’re

Everyone forgot about glasses guy tho lol

Ooaoaoaooh glasses girl is looking at a photo of them and there’s a spooOoKy guy visible in the window

OH HECK FIRST KILL. Glasses girl got killed by BEES.

GLASSES GUY IS GONE GUY. He hugged a tree headless. Literally, he‘s hugging a tree and his head is gone. Also wow token and MC aren’t reacting at ALL oof

LMAOO THEY SHOWED THE SPOOKY GUY AND ITS UNIRONICALLY JUST A GUY IN A HOODIE

Apparently the whole house is just built on random holes connected to slopes and LI happened to sit above one on a swing. SG cut the rope and she fell down, almost made it out, but then a spooky hand grabbed her down. Where did the rest attached to that hand go? Who knows, it’s SpoOky

omg. You know how in guardians of the galaxy and such that one character thinks he’s invisible because he’s moving so slow? And it’s played as a joke? Yeah they just did that unironically with a guy standing in front of a door all this time I can’t-

Yknow these guys who originally helped Arthur become a minimoy? Yeah they evil

"You wanna go into the world of the minimoys? The time had come, it’s a fUul MoOn!“ shows half full moon"No it isn’t“ "doesn’t matter lol“ <- that’s real dialogue

Surprise attack by a bunch of dudes dressed like Bokoblins from Breath of the Wild attacking everyone with daggers, turning this whole thing into a breakout Battle Royale, F blonde Girl

CRAZY OLD GUY TO THE RESCUE!

Aaaand now it’s randomly over. No signal or reason or anything, it just is.

Survivors: MC, MC‘s LI, and the token guy! A surprise twist!

…the explanation for all of this. Is Role-Playing.

A bunch of teens meeting each year to role-play a new theme. The year before it was Batman. This year it was Arthur and the Minimoys. And they go kill everyone like this because of drugs. Doesn’t explain all the stuff that was going beforehand. Or the secret basement. Or holes. Or anything really

OoOOoh Spooky Hoodie Guy is still standing at the window

(Also what happened to the deer imagery? They set that up for half the movie but the moment the forbidden ketchup starts appearing they completely forget all of it. ALSO the trailer showed spooky versions of the Minimoys. Guess what never makes an appearance.)

Conclusion: would give this movie a solid 4.5/10 for two funny lines and the guys playing the bros doing a pretty good job at putting emotion in

[tariah23]

White people are miserable, racist losers period. They’ve even been getting mad at Japanese people for correcting them about Yasuke as well.

[quibbs]

just had SO much fun with the fallout tv show... i love you missus okey dokey

[possamble]

hiii everybody are you normal about Falin showing Laios the same little spell that Marcille showed her? are you normal about Falin remembering it fondly enough that it was one of the first things she showed her brother while trying to teach him magic?

[chloesimaginationthings]

Scott Cawthon’s version of FNAF Burntrap..

[glow-worms-are-believers]

Green thumb (dp x dc)

“Why won’t you grow?” Danny asked the little corner of fresh dirt he’d been allocated when he’d signed up for the community garden project. Sam had been the one to suggest it, and with significantly less ghost-fighting to do now that he’d moved away, it had seemed like a great new hobby.

“I gave you water, and all the other things Sam said to do, what more could you have wanted,” Danny said as he poked the desiccated stalk despondently.

Somewhere far off, there was the echo of screams, and something like a crash. Danny paid it no mind, thinking it might be an event or something starting. Gotham was a big city, and there was always something going on.

“I can’t tell Sam about this,” Danny sighed as he put his face in his hands. “She’d laugh at me.”

He sat in front of his failed tomato plants for a while longer before getting to his feet with a sigh. As he did, he turned to walk away, only to see a woman with bright red hair and greenish skin standing a few paces away. Behind her there was something like a cloud of something and Danny immediately stopped breathing.

Not having to breathe was definitely his favourite power ever, he hated hay fever.

“Hey,” Danny said with a little wave.

In response the woman raised an arm and a thick vine-looking thing shot out of the ground.

“Holy shit!” The halfa exclaimed. That was pretty cool. Controlling plants was seriously an awesome power, and majorly underrated if one listened to Sam’s rants.

Wait, controlling plants?

“Can you revive my tomato plants?” Danny asked the woman enthusiastically, before remembering himself. “Uh, please?”

The woman stopped moving and frowned.

“It’s just that I really tried to keep it alive, but this is the first time I’ve taken care of plants and I was really looking forward to fresh tomatoes,” the halfa babbled.

She tilted her head.

“Please? I can get you a smoothie in exchange, I know a great place, they also do ice cream.”

The woman’s lips twitched and then she waved her hand and continued walking.

Danny turned around to find his tomato plant green and alive.

“Oh my god, thank you!” He yelled, but she was already leaving.

Danny owed her the best smoothie in town.

[junotter]

Part 2 of my modern avatar au, The Gaang (part 1)

[captain-krow-drozdov]

Danny Is An Alternate Version Of Ra's Al Ghul And Flash Already Called Dibs On Adopting Him

Danny In All His Sleep Deprived Slightly Scuffed Up From A Fight Glory Is On His Way To Clockworks Tower To Hopefully Get A Nap And Maybe Some Homework Done When A Natural Portal Opens Up In Front Of Him And Proceeds To Unceremoniously Drop Him In The DC Verse Just Outside Of Central City Before Promptly Closing Leaving A Tired Danny Behind In A Run Down Abandoned Parking Lot.

It's Times Like This When Danny Regrets Putting Off Learning How To Make His Own Portals, Cause Now He Is Very Much Stuck For The Foreseeable Future And He Has No Idea Where Or When He Is. Luckily For Him However Central City Isn't Too Far Away, Unlucky For Him However Is That Once In The City He Realizes This Isn't His Dimension. He's Pretty Sure He'd Remember Something Called The Justice League.

So What Do You Do When Supernatural Bullshit Fails You? You Fall Back On Your Mad Scientist Roots And You Make A Portal Gun. So That's Exactly What Danny Plans To Do.

Unfortunately Staying Alive And Building Questionably Safe Portal Technology Requires Money And Supplies, So He Ends Up Wandering From City To City Doing Odd Jobs/Fixing Up Busted Tech For Cash Or Unwanted Electronics For His "Operation: Get Home" Needs. This Obviously Ends In A Few Superhero Encounter Shenanigans.

Though He Always Ends Up Back Near Central City, Both On The Off Chance The Natural Portal Will Open Up Again And Because Out Of All The Superheroes That Apparently Exist In This Universe The Speedsters Are His Favorite (Red Robin Is Solidly His Second Favorite Ever Since The Gotham Vigilante Gave Him A Large Coffee Filled With Enough Caffeine To Kill A Man).

Unbeknownst To Danny However Is That Every Hero/Vigilante He Has Encountered Has Come To At Least One Of The Following Conclusions; 1. Run Away Meta Who Is In Desperate Need Of A Good Meal/Adoption Bait. 2. Possibly Red Robin/Tim Drake Clone 3. A Good Kid But Could Possibly Be A Future Rouge If Left Unsupervised. 4. Did Bats Get A New Kid And Why Is He Here?

All Flash Knows Is That He Saw The Kid First And Therefore Has Dibs. Suck It Bruce.

Fast-forward A Few Months And Danny Gets Hurt During A Rogue Attack While Trying To Help Some Civilians Get To Safety (Old Hero Habits Die Hard (Ha Die Hard) And All That Jazz) And He Nopes Out Once Everyone Is Safe And When The Paramedics Are Busy With Other People Unaware He Left A Blood Sample Behind.

One DNA Test Brought To You By Paranoid Bat Concerns Of A Possible Red Robin Clone Later And They Find Out That Dannys DNA Matches One Ra's Al Ghul.

They Now Think Danny Is An Escaped Ra's Al Ghul Clone.

Memes For The Vibes:

[aitadjcrazytimes]

[wombywoo]

retro 🪖

[lotus-pear]

charm stat at debonair ‼️‼️

[crazymuffin1]

[egophiliac]

so excited for Kalim to save the day by swiper-no-swiping this dip. you can do it! I believe in you!

god I hope this reads properly

[inkskinned]

before you know about women, you hear that you do not need to love the man, just that you need to love him through his manhood. which is to say you have seen the future painted in lamb's blood over your eyes - how your mother shoots you a look about your father's inability to cook right. how your aunt holds her wineglass and says i'm gonna kill em. men, right! how your best friend bickers with her boyfriend, how she says i can't help it. i come back to him.

you learn: men are gonna cheat. men aren't going to listen when you're talking, because you're nagging. men think emotions are stupid. they think your life is vapid and your hobbies are embarrassing. men will slam things, but that's because men are allowed to be angry. if you get loud, you're hysterical. if a man gets loud - well, men are animals, men are dogs, men can't control their hands or their eyes or their bodies. they're going to make a snide comment about you in the locker room, about your body, about how you're so fucking annoying. you're going to give him kids, and he will give you the money for the kids, and you're going to be running the house 24/7 - but he gets to relax after a long day, because his job is stressful. the man is on stage, and is a comedian, and says "women!"

and you are supposed to love that. you are supposed to love men through how horrible they are to you - because that's what women do. that's what good women do. wife material. your father even told you once - it'll make sense when you're older. it was like staring down a very lonely tunnel.

it feels like something's caught in your throat, but it's all you know, so. it's okay that you see sex as a necessary tool, a sort of okay-enough ritual to keep him happy, even though he doesn't seem to care about happiness as-applied-to you. it is relationship upkeep. it is kissing him and smiling even though he didn't brush his teeth. it is getting on your knees and looking up and holding back a sigh because he barely holds you as you panic through the night. it's not like the sex is bad and you do like feeling wanted. and besides! he's a man! like... they're another species. you'll never be able to actually communicate, right. he isn't listening.

you just don't get it. you don't feel that sense of i'm gonna climb him like a tree. mostly it just feels fucking exhausting. you play the part perfectly. you smile and nod and are "effortlessly" charming. and it's fine! it's alright! you even love him, if you're looking. you could have good life, and a good family, and perfectly happy.

in the late night you google: am i broken. you google i'm not attracted to my husband. you google i get turned on by books but not by him. you google how to get better in bed.

the first time he yells at you, it almost feels like blankness. like - of course this is happening. this is always how it was going to end up. men get angry, and they yell, and you sit there in silence.

you mention it to your friend - just the once - while you're drunk. she shrugs and says it's like that with me too, i just try to forget and move on. men are always gonna hear what they want to. pick your battles and say sorry even though he's in the wrong. you play solitaire online for a month. you go to your therapist appointment and preach about how you're both so in love.

after all, you have a future to want. nobody lied about it - how many instagram posts say marriage is hard. say real love takes work. say we fight like cats and dogs but the best part is that we always make up. how many of your friends say happy anniversary to the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. if you really loved him - loved yourself too - you'd accept that men are just different from you.

the first time she kisses you, it's on a dare at a party. something large and terrifying whips through your body. you wake up sweating from dreams where her mouth is encrusted with pearls and you pick them off one by one with your teeth. fuck. you sit at the computer and your almost-finished game of sim city. you think about your potential perfect life and your potential future family. you google am i gay quiz with your little hands shaking.

you delete each letter slowly. you don't need to love him. you just need to keep going.

[chloesimaginationthings]

Michael Afton has bad eating habits in FNAF

[booklovertwilight]

the death of a god savior human