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manda-kat · 1 month

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Actually, I'm not finished.

A lot of people (especially in online friendships) who struggle with their mental health put an overwhelming amount of pressure on their friends, even if they've only been speaking for a few months.

It's always some kind of 'I have this issue, but I'm working on it, so don't worry' until you don't message them back quick enough and they send you a lecture about how you must hate them and they're a terrible person and if you don't want to talk, you should just go.

You stop being their friend and turn into their source of encouragement and validation. They post depracating things about themselves so you'll tell them they're wrong. Every day. Every conversation. Something needs your attention constantly. And I mean constantly. If you leave them on read for too long, they dissolve and you're messaging them for hours trying to talk them off the ledge.

And what can you do? They don't do this maliciously. Most of the time they have a legitimate condition and their reactions are fueled by things outside of their control. And you love them. They're your friend. You want to help, but you have no idea how.

You can't say anything. Even gentle boundaries cause them to spiral. 'I'm at work on these days, so I won't reply until I get home' is met with 'I'm so sorry, I'm a terrible and needy person. If you want to leave, just go ahead. I don't want you to feel pressured to reply. I'm a horrible friend.' Telling them that their reactions are genuinely upsetting is worse. They accuse you of not caring about their disorder and it doesn't take much for them to tell you how close they are to killing themselves. They never say it directly, but it feels like they're blaming you. You shouldn't have said anything. You apologize, comfort them, beg them to stay, talk for hours to keep them calm and tell yourself never to be honest again.

You can't talk to your friend. Most topics are taboo. You can't have any negative feedback and if you even use different puncuation than usual they begin to accuse you of hating them. They start urging you to be honest, saying they know you must be annoyed and angry at them. And honestly? At this point they're right. You feel like a monster. They're so vulnerable and in such a terrible spot and you've let them think you hate them. No matter how much you try to bend around them, they can sense that you left the friendship weeks ago.

Things boil over. Every conversation is them challenging you to leave. Daring you. Almost begging you. They test you at every chance. You wonder if they actually hate you and want you to go. They've stopped sending extra messages when you don't reply. You stop messaging first and hope they forget about you. Maybe they do. Time goes by and you realize you haven't spoken in several months.

Whenever you think of them, you don't remember the jokes or the songs you shared or the movies you gushed over together. You remember bending over backwards and struggling to say just the right thing all the time. Why don't you miss them? You're an awful friend. They were in so much pain. It was all your fault. You should have tried harder. They never said anything mean to you, only themselves. They had such a hard life. You wonder if they're doing any better now. You wonder if you had stayed maybe they would have gotten out of that rough patch and become your friend again. You wonder if they ever went through with all those threats...

I'm just begging anyone who reads this to think about it next time they're about to send a message that resembles one of my examples here. Don't send it. Take a walk. Draw a picture. Watch an episode of TV. Eat. Take a shower. Do something- anything. Then go back and ask yourself- do you really want to say that? If you already know you have the 'sabotages every relationship' disorder, then maybe ask yourself beforehand if a certain message might be self-sabotaging. Before sending messages, type them in your notes app and ask if they sound reasonable. Idk. All I know is some things can't be unsent.

#long post #rant #negative

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strangelypenned · 11 months

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Hello All! I figured since ao3 is down I’d post the first chapter of my fic Heavy Metal Healing here for those looking for something to read! I hope this helps you get by in the drought. If you enjoy this check me out on ao3 under the same username. The next three chapters are up there whenever the site comes back online. Enjoy! 💜

Summary:

When rockstar Eddie Munson and the battle-scarred Steve Harrington collide their journey begins with pain, but quickly turns into something extraordinary. As Eddie embraces his dominant side and Steve explores submission, their connection becomes a steamy oasis of healing and love. Amid pleasure and pain, they rewrite their stories in a harmonious and unconventional embrace. And let's not forget the party and Robin, who never miss a chance to tease them along the way! It's a provocative tale where hurt transforms into hope, and two hearts find solace in the most unexpected places. Get ready to feel the heat!

Chapter 1:

There were a thousand other ways Steve could be spending his Friday night. He had two papers due within the next week, a birthday party to plan, and a doctor’s appointment he was dreading. Yet here he was, allowing Robin to repeatedly stab him in the eye with an eyeliner pencil. Eyeliner he really didn’t even want to be wearing. Going to a show he was about 75% sure he wasn’t going to enjoy.

“Quit blinking Dingus. Unless you want to lose an eye." Robin barked as she jabbed the flat end of the pencil into his ribs.

"I'm only blinking 'cause you're stabbing me in the eye with a sharp object. Also, how much longer is this going to take? If we want to get to Indi on time we need to leave in like 15 minutes." He glanced at the clock over her shoulder. They had been playing dress-up for over an hour and a half now, and the venue was roughly that far away. If they didn't leave soon they'd likely miss the show altogether.

"Fine. Fuck, we'll just call this good then. I got what I wanted mostly done anyways. " She was franticly throwing stuff in her small makeup bag, finally releasing the iron grip she had on his chin. Standing on sleep numb legs Steve took a look at himself in the mirror.

He almost didn't recognize the person looking back at him, Robin had outdone herself. He was wearing her clothes for the most part. A pair of black jeans that fit a little too tight. He remembers watching her cut the holes into them a few weeks ago in a bored crafting fit. A faded black t-shirt that fit a little bit snugly around the biceps. A large golden sun painted across his chest. It matched the yellow polish on his nails, painted by a smiling Jane earlier that week.

What stood out the most though were his eyes. The dark liner drawing attention to the warm hazel. She had even done his hair, It floated around his head softly, looking fluffier than normal. Yes, Robin had certainly outdone herself.

"How do you feel? I didn't overdo it did I? I know it's different than what you usually wear, but you went on that tangent the other day about wanting to change your look. And I know you don't want to touch your move-out savings to do so so I thou-" He caught her eye in the mirror.

Turning he placed his hands on her shoulders, her outfit was a reflection of his. The differences were the denim vest she had covered in pins and patches, and her shirt being actual merchandise for the bad they were seeing. A large 'CC' was pained across her chest above a flaming coffin.

"Robs I love it. You did a great job. It's definitely different, but I wanted that. Now can we please get out f here before we miss the show?" She nodded her head enthusiastically as he tied his favorite yellow sweater around his waist.

"Normally I would harass you about bringing the comfort sweater, but It kind of works. That, and I know I'm pushing you pretty hard already taking you to a metal show and all." She threw the words over her shoulder as they trudged down the stars. Making sure to stand closer to his good ear.

" Well, you've been talking about this group nonstop for like three months now. So I might as well give them a chance. Plus the volume may ring through my thick skull a bit better." His doctor had mentioned something about music with heavier tones being easier to enjoy. Something to do with the base and the vibrations. It was one of the few reasons, other than making Robin smile, he agreed to go. Smiles didn't come as easily after their final round with the upside down.

"I really think you'll enjoy yourself if you give it a chance Steve. She gave him a knowing look as she buckled herself in. Probably picking up on his thoughts with that freaky telephony thing they seemed to have ever since the Russians.

"I promise I'll give it a chance Robbs. God knows I could use some fun," he mumbled the last part as he backed out of the driveway. She laughed at his words as they coasted up the street, hopefully heading for a much-needed night of fun.

🎸

According to Robin's hour-and-a-half-long lecture about the band, they were extremely lucky to be seeing them at this venue. Normally they played for significantly larger crowds, but this is where they had done one of their first shows. They tended to perform here whenever they were in town for nostalgia's sake. It being such a small place meant tickets were normally gone in a flash. Robin, the lucky bird, had won some radio contest. So not only did they get to go to a sold-out show, they got to go to a sound check and a meet and greet post-show. Truly the pinnacle of luck.

He was glad they would be arriving early. This would allow him the chance to survey his surroundings before the crowd set in. His nerves being shot ever since the final battle, as the kids had started calling it. Either way, being able to spot all of the exits before the show started and the people packed in helped. He felt some of the ever-present tension in his body abate at the thought.

He allowed himself to be tugged along by Robin who was all but skipping in excitement. It was nice to see her so amped up. Her excitement tugged at the corners of his lips, and he caught himself chuckling as they grew closer to the venue. The place was a converted bowling alley that still had a few lanes for guests to use before and after shows.

"Did I tell you we even get two free drinks? The royal treatment I tell ya. Must remind you of the good ole days." alluding to the high school nickname he grew to detest with time. She knew better than to actually call him it though. Something about it rattled his heart in the most unpleasant of ways.

"You didn't mention the drinks bird brain. Here I thought I'd be shelling out for overpriced beers. " She gave him a dead look over her shoulder. Both of them knew that he hated the taste of beer and mostly drank it for appearances in school.

They stood in line behind a handful of people, a select few also had early entry tickets. They were snapping bright red bracelets on the wrists of those with VIP entry.

In what felt like the blink of an eye, they were standing in front of a long bar. Robin was shoving a brightly colored cocktail into his hands. He had checked out again. A gift left behind from his fourth concussion. He looked at Robin with a questioning frown.

"It was about ten minutes this time." She rattled off looking at the watch she had taken to wearing when the checkouts had started. That was shorter than the last one so at least there was that. He had grounding tips for when he was at home or driving, but they tended not to work when out and about.

He nodded sluggishly and began to look at his surroundings. Ten or so people were floating around the space while a few people tinkered with equipment on stage. There were doors that led to what appeared to be a balcony, probably a smokers section. The bowling lanes glowed in various neon shades of pink, blue, and purple. They weren't in use but still shined brightly to the left of the stage. And there was the exit, perfect. He felt the slight tremble in his hands ease up when he located the doors.

"Hey Robs I'm gonna go take a quick smoke break and I'll be right back okay?" She looked at him with a question in her eyes, 'Do you need me to come?" He shook his head softly and gave a tired smile before heading for the balcony. He had quit smoking for a while at one point. But after the final showdown, late at night when the sounds of the upside down were loudest in his mind's eye, he found relief in the smoke.

As he stepped outside he noticed the air had picked up a slight chill. He set his drink down and quickly tugged his yellow sweater overhead. The worn fabric brought a level of comfort he rarely found in his closet these days.

Tugging his cigarettes out of his pocket and placing one between his lips, he came to the abrupt realization he had left his lighter in the car. He let out a quiet 'fuck'.

"You need a light?" A melodic voice asked from off to the side of him. He felt himself flinch, he hadn't noticed anyone else outside.

The link since ao3 is now back online:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/48088879

#eddie munson #steve harrington #steddie #fanfiction #fanfic #rockstar eddie munson #steve x eddie #soft steve harrington #eddie stranger things #read on ao3 #not beta read

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freckliedan · 6 months

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Hi!!! I just wanted to talk about how Dan and Phil as a brand is so relatable to neurodivergents in the way that they've been treated recently. So DnP built their careers off of being "weird" and "quirky" and socially awkward. That was Their Thing. Dan spoke for years about being violently bullied (quotes such as "being punched in the head by dickheads" stand out as a pre-BIG example of just how violent it got at times), Phil had the Why I Was a Weird Kid series, they both were frequently talked about as being "weird" and "awkward" by other YouTubers - they WERE the "weird" ones of the vlog group. The ones that awkward teens could relate to. Unfortunately, this got the attention of the #imsoquirky crowd who talks like they're experiencing all of these things while also being the same people who would mock me for my autism.

And that's the crowd now saying Dan is too old to be posting catboy photos or saying that the two of them "give the ick now, idk why." And I just can't help but notice how much I relate to that as an autistic and ADHD person. So many times over the years, I've made "friends" who were slightly into my interests, but then got weirded out by how hard I went into them. I think what we're seeing is the same thing happening to Dan and Phil. Drawing cat whiskers on your face to answer questions? Well that's "so cute and quirky"!! (/s). But actually playing as Catboys in JRPGs, dressing up in cat ears, making animal noises (which the two of them always did but ig this group overlooked), etc? Well that's "too far" and "so weird."

I think Dan especially got hit with this because he has more subscribers. When he talks about being bullied, most people can relate to that. But then when he goes and honks a horn in a game repeatedly (which tbh I've done before myself, very ADHD coded of him) or talks about hiding behind vending machines to avoid talking to people, that is suddenly "too annoying/weird" for some of the audience that got into him for his "relatably weird" content.

Sorry this is such a long ramble, but basically Dan and Phil have accidentally become the perfect examples of how kids with autism/ADHD/social pragmatic disorder/nvld/dyspraxia *insert other neurodivergencies that can cause atypical socialization* are treated. People might find your initial "quirkiness" relatable because everyone feels awkward or socially anxious at times, but it's when they see that you are Actually Just Like That and it's not to be #relatable that they turn on you and start saying that you're "too much" and "too weird."

Dan and Phil were the "weird" ones of the British vlog scene, and those of us who tuned into the younows or watched their older videos knew this, but someone who only subbed after watching a meme review or the two of them playing undertale might have assumed that they were the "right" kind of quirky/weird.

This is probably incoherent, but I hope you get what I mean.

this isn't incoherent! just such a well thought out ask i don't have anything to add. there's really specific ways i'm comfortable talking abour dnp + neurodivergence & neurodivergence in general so it's not something i've ever done super in depth posts abt!

i've actually gotten a few really lengthy asks like this over the last few weeks, so this is to you and to my other askers: i really appreciate that folks want to share their ideas with me but sometimes i genuinely don't have enough to contribute in response to add on to what's being said! and that makes it pretty impossible to answer asks like this.

so this is to everyone: feel free to @ me in the replies on your posts! (doing that leaves things cleaner than @ ing in the body of a post, which in my experience means folks are more likely to engage, if that's what you're looking for). especially loop me in about dnp + neurodivergene or dnp + gender!

this isn't a promise i'll rb or even see things, this website's functionality is shit, but like. it's actually way easier for me to see and support than if yall are sending me essay length anons, and this way i + others can find more people who share the same opinions as us! make ur own posts & ppl will follow u i prommy

#jam replies #anon #very unrelated response to ur ask but like. yours is a complete thought i agree with in meaning if not 100% in your phrasing but i know whe #not to be a pedantic asshole so like! @ me in yall's posts. it will work out better for you than sending me asks like this that i can't #answer

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cloudymistedskies · 10 months

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Hooray! More info about Cloud Hashira Mari ! + random info about her cause yes.

Mentioned in a previous post, she defeated a lower moon! Specifically, a lower moon 4!

Mari was sent in a mission with a few slayers, their mission was just to slay a few demons that were in a nearby village, although what they didn't expect is a lower moon being there. The slayers she was accompanied by were either too busy handling the other demons or heavily injured so she was left alone to take care of the demon. She was able to defeat the lower moon, by unintentionally making a new breathing form..

A hashira was called after realizing there was a lower moon, though by the time the hashira arrived, Mari already defeated the demon...

Mari decides to change her uh... ribbon shoes thing? to blue to match with her haori hue color

Her haori is soft to the touch, and can be a good pillow if you fold it

After defeating the lower moon, she went to another coma, this time for a week..

I cant draw FEET.

Her back thingy thing thing thing...

Mari still lives with her sister. Though they live in the cloud estate this time. Her sister does go back and forth in living in her late-mentor's estate and Mari's.

Her estate has a nearby field of flowers. She often goes there when she's free.

Mari often forgets she's a hashira now, so she gets confused when other slayers and kakushis become intimidated or handle her with respect.

Her hobby is stargazing. She usually does it with her sister, her cousins or Muichiro!

She still has the habit of getting distracted, resulting in her getting lost. Her crow is there to keep her in track!

What does Mari think of the other hashiras?

Giyu: "I'm a little scared of him... but he isn't even doing much..." (Neutral/Leaning to dislike)

Shinobu: "She's so pretty! I love her gentle voice. I'm fascinated with her way to kill demons." (Like)

Kyojuro: "He's very loud. I try to match his energy! He's like an older brother to me." (Like)

Obanai: "Never talked to him much..." (Neutral)

Mitsuri: "She's so awesome! I love her vibrant hair! Often, I would eat with her! Kanroji-san is such a sweetheart!" (Like/Admire)

Sanemi: "I'm scared of him. He has this scary looking face, and if looks could kill me, I would die by him..." (Fear/Dislike)

Tengen: "Shiny accessories, I might get blinded by those... He is super cool! And his wives are sweet!" (Like)

Gyomei: "I was intimidated by him at first, but after a bit, I got along with him! He and I love cats!" (Like)

Muichiro: "We're pretty close, somewhat. He does talk to me quite more than the other hashiras. He's quite an airhead... I do hope that maybe, he'll remember me..." (Like? Maybe even more???)

------------------------------

Here's her sword, her hilt and uh this thingy!

Mari isn't actually the first person to know cloud breathing, although she taught herself to do that breathing...

One of the forms are made by her, however it's a pretty difficult form...

Cloud breathing is more effective with her due to her height (aHA- SHORTASS)

It's heard that she learned this breathing through a dream... or an inherited memory perhaps??

Some slayers reported that everytime she slices a demon's head, it leaves a vanilla scent... Wow I wonder why.

She sprayed vanilla perfume cause the demon she fought before had a very horrible smell and she just..does it on a daily basis now. It's worrying.

Taisho era secret:

Mari is sometimes seen petty and immature when fighting demons, especially if they are giving her a difficult time. She sticks out her tongue when she successfully beheads the demon...

#demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #kny #demon slayer oc #kny oc #kimetsu no yaiba oc #demon slayer hashira #hashira oc #kny hashira oc #kny hashira #mari is petty #if ur reading the tags #i want u to know that gyomei would be the one to help her overcome her fear of cats in this au

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twigs-sprigs · 2 years

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So judging from that eyepatch Kai has and since its premovie, I'm guessing Kai gets his eye scar from this au?

If so, NICE. I need to know how he got it >:)

RIGHT OKAY!!

so before i start going off about it, i need to mention one thing, namely the fact that this au contains a multitude of me and @shadesofvermillionvoid 's personal headcannons and such.

by that, one really important thing that plays a big part of this au (and most of our aus including the show rewrite we've been thinking about) is the idea that lloyd has 4 forms, his dragon form, his oni form (which was in my last post), his human form and his inhuman form (which is his true form)

i swear ill get to kai just bear with me this is important to how he got the scar believe it or not

now his dragon and oni forms aren't entirely relevant to this au, (his dragon form doesn't even appear, since he has not yet reached his full potential, heck he isnt even the green ninja yet, he doesnt even know that his friends ARE THE NINJA). his oni form does play a part but it doesn't appear in the canon of the au (even though we've discussed it)

these are the forms i'm gonna focus on right now

lloyd's human form is, as you see up there, pretty much a disguise. his insides are still purple because this form only affects the outside.

one thing about it, is that he can only keep this human disguise in a healthy way up for about 4-5 hours before it starts to physically strain him and/or hurt him. keeping it up causes him to be really sleepy too, but he's learned to deal with that. (this is also important for a certain part of this au)

this form is the lloyd everyone knows and hates loves! he has it at school, in town, basically everywhere outside.

lloyd's inhuman form is what lloyd really looks like! very few people know of this form, as in: koko, garm, wu and the ninja squad.

he is VERY adamant about keeping this from under wraps, as he doesn't want to draw even more negative attention to himself and the people around him. he only looks like this when he's at home or at any of the ninja's homes, despite being more physically comfortable in it. he is extremely careful about this form not being revealed to the general public.

OKAY, YOU GOT ALL THAT? GOOD!

NOW TO WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED!!!

so, lloyd got dumped by harumi, and he got dumped HARD. as in, PUBLICALLY DUMPED IN FRONT OF EVERYONE.

harumi was only really using lloyd and didn't really actually love him, of course, she just wanted to toy with him. she was using garmadon's son for her own gain and she treated him like garbage during their relationship, and lloyd not knowing how all this stuff works just kind of...ate it all up like it was normal. kai noticed all of this but couldn't do much but to stare and be worried from the sidelines.

lloyd was shattered after the breakup, he'd become so attached to harumi and her toxic behaviors that even if he KNEW it was all wrong and twisted, he still wanted to go back, he still longed to be with her because it was something different. it took kai and the squad a long time to help lloyd accept that it was not something healthy, and even then he still gets very upset whenever harumi is mentioned around him. she traumatized him b a d. and thats not even the worst of it.

anyway! so harumi broke up with lloyd, but before this, lloyd decided it was a good time (since they'd been together for a few weeks already) to show harumi.. well...himself! he showed her his true form, thinking that he could trust her not to tell anybody else about it.

yeah... that didnt go well.

what harumi did, is that she managed to snap a blurry picture of lloyd in his true form, albeit blurry. and she decided to... post it online a few days after the breakup took place

lloyd, upon seeing this picture that harumi had just posted during class, gets up and BOOKS it to the school bathroom, to hide and... you know...cry.

kai sees harumi snickering, and he decides to excuse himself and follow lloyd, in hopes of comforting him. he's his best friend and older brother figure after all.

while on his way to the bathroom, he sees the chen cheerleader, lloyd's number one bully and kai's number one most hated person ever. chen also left class and is...wait he's heading to the bathroom.

kai knows that chen saw the picture and wants to hurt lloyd because of it, and he's NOT going to let that happen. before chen can open the door kai TACKLES him, and a fight ensues in which chen goes on about how lloyd is just a monster in disguise, and that he's doing everyone a favor.

chen. pulls out a pocket knife during this fight. he slashes at kai a few times but kai being a ninja and all knows how to dodge.

during this fight, chen manages to actually get in the boys bathroom where lloyd is, and blocks the entrance so kai can't come in. chen starts hurting lloyd, putting his head in the toilet, pinning him to the wall and trying to threaten him with the knife, trying to force that form in the picture out of lloyd. of course he isnt budging, but he's also not fighting back, lloyd never fights back in these situations.

meanwhile, kai is DESPERATE to open the fucking door, he is FREAKING OUT hes trying to hit it, to throw himself into it but nothing. the bell had rung by this point and a crowd started to gather.

the other ninja make their way to the commotion, and stare for a few seconds before kai notices them and he's like "DONT JUST FUCKING STAND THERE, HELP ME!"

cole makes kai get out of the way and breaks the door open. kai runs in to chen with the knife an inch close to lloyd's throat. he tackles chen and pins him to the wall, but chen manages to slash at kai, hitting his eye. and that's the scar! he didnt actually damage kai's eye that much, mostly scarred around it.

some teachers come in and break everything off. kai and lloyd are taken to the nurse and later kai and chen are taken to the principal's office, where chen twists the story, making kai seem like the bad guy.

chen gets off with a slap on the wrist, he gets his parents called to school. and kai gets off with a week suspension.

and lloyd...

well...lloyd's mental health... somehow gets... even worse

worse enough for him to do something *really* stupid

maybe @shadesofvermillionvoid can tell you what happens next, so go ask em abt this au too dont be shy!!! :D

and thanks if you read all that KJDWKKWD I TRIED MY BEST TO MAKE IT MAKE SENSE BUT IM HORRIBLE AT EXPLAINING

have some pre-movie au kais :)

#ninjago #ninjago pre-movie au #art #digital art #drawing #lego ninjago movie #kai ninjago #lloyd garmadon #kai smith #fanart #lego ninjago fanart #ask #twigs art #lego ninjago #movie kai ninjago #tw blood

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squeiky · 2 years

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"Someone I'm supposed to remember."

"Sometimes I lay at night, thinking about you. All the time we've spent together, all the memories we've made together... I never want to forget it.. but I always do."

_______________________________

Artist's note:

This is more a vent per say, rather than a means of shipping, but due to the context and way I executed the drawing- I'm tagging this as sonadow.

There is an bit of a but of a rant/vent an ID and a bonus edit version of this drawing after the readmore. Feel free to skip whichever or.

(I titled them all so it easier to skip stuff. When scrolling fast)

ID:

[ID: A traditional pencil drawing; Text in the top reads: "YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU CAN'T REMEMBER"

On the right and left side are drawings of sonic the hedgehog with his eye portion sketched out.

The left side has 4 drawings, one of sonic smirking with a fist, below that is a drawing of his shoes and next to it is a drawing of super sonic w/ 2 chaos emeralds. Below that is a grumpy sonic checking the watch on his arm.

On the right is a drawing of sonic, hands on hips with his back facing front. The one below that is of sonic laughing with his hand in his chest, then underneath that is sonic at a side angle, smiling whilst talking. Next to that is sonic having a toothy smirk, with a finger waggle as well.

Shadow the hedgehog is in the middle, both hands on the lower portion of his chest, with his quills (very messy) all extended outwards. Creases are all around him as his on a bed. There are 2 pillows on both sides of him. To the right of him are some earphones desgined for hedgehogs that has a headphone wire attached to it. (It's unplugged) and a book with a pencil ontop of it.

On the lower left of him (around the knees) is a phone, only a reflection of the screen shows as it's presumably off.

Shadow looking upwards, with a gazed, zoning out type expression. His identifiable scowl is no where to be seen.

Underneath all of that, are 2 comic panels.

The first one/ the one on the left is of shadow on lying his left side, with one arm over his torso while the other is tucked underneath his head (like a makeshift pillow.) His legs are also shown His, one over the other. His eyes are looking down, now the more iconic angry eyes.

A dark pillar of sorts is behind him, and to the side of that the text reads, " So then, Why".

The right panel is a close up of one of his eyes. It's pretty detailed and you can see some hints of fluff/small quills on his face as well as a bit of his big o'l hedgehog nose.

His iris has a drawing of supersonic reaching out towards one of his extended arms. There are stars around them, and sonic's eyes are still crossed out.

Text to the right of the eye read: "Are you so FAMILAIR?"

:End ID]

Bonus:

Still edited, but just a different version of the post above. It's a little less brighter, but it's more accurate to how the drawing actually looks irl:

Vent:

I never really understood how shadow gained his memories back.

This is coming from a personal level, but him struggling with these identity and memory issues always kind of stuck with me.

As someone who struggles with memory, it's really hard to trust what people say is true or not.

Someone recently told me they've known me for years, and I thought I only knew them for a few weeks.

Like, this is somebody I'm supposed to know. They're so familiar, yet to somehow their still a stranger.

It's shit like that, that always bugs me.

Then people tell me of these stories and things I went through, and it's like I'm listening to another person explain to me what my life was like. It just feels like I'm listening to someone read a storybook.

It's all so distant, beacuse I just can't really remember. I can't connect with my own self, and honestly I don't even know if should. Sometimes I question whether I should even try to learn my psst, or if it would even matter at all..

It makes it hard to trust people too. Cause there's liars out there, and when you've got memory problems it makes it easy for them to put stuff in your head.

(Always thinking about that just gives me way to much anxiety and makes it impossible for me to connect with people.. it's like I got eggshells for shoes.)

I try not to think about it too much, and just move on in life...but the feelings still there.

It just sucks.

I have a really good memory too...(I think?) beacuse when I can remember things its crisp and detailed. (Atleast..sometimes.)

Either than that, there's just entire gaps between my life I can't remember.

I have a freind who tells me about all my adventures I had with her. So I'm just here, lying down on my bed, contemplating all these memories I had with her.

All those memories I can't remember.

#vent #venting #sonadow #sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedghog #shadsoni #shasoni #sonic x shadow #shadow x sonic #camomiletae art #traditional art #drawing #memory problems

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unnamed-axolotl · 3 months

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Hey, everyone. I was made aware of the callout post made by @/antimennard on Instagram, and I wanted to share my side of the story, so everyone has all the facts and are well-informed.

Please do not harass anyone mentioned in this post.

TW/CW: grooming/manipulation, proshipping/incest

I'll address things in order of occurence. I've gone back and looked at some dates to get the most accurate timeline possible.

The Steven x Spinel allegations are a very serious thing, I agree. This was late 2019, early 2020 - I was 15 or so at the time, and I was in a group that was kind of organized by a person named Nano. She was an adult, and the group was full of minors and adults. The adults of the group were actively sharing NSFW, and were encouraging and allowing minors to do the same. We all thought it was okay, because we were kids. We, collectively, were actively groomed into thinking it was okay.

I posted the things I created because I was never told not to (not by parents, friends, family, nobody), and I was too young to know any better or realize that it was wrong myself.

After a while, a few of the members started to realize how disgusting the situation was. Members of the group were now actively agreeing that what they were drawing was incest. Me and another person, who I will not name for privacy, left around the same time, I believe. If you look at Nano's account (which I believe is still under @/what_the_fudge_nano or something along those lines), she IS a proshipper, and proudly so. She didn't have a label put on herself when I was associated with her, and I only saw it recently, maybe a few weeks to a month ago, when I went back to make sure I'd blocked her. I have cut her and other adults from that server off completely, and the accounts that I posted Steven/Spinel stuff on, as far as I'm aware, are out of my access. I have deleted them.

I will be going back to my account and doing a delete spree, because now I realize there are most definitely things that remain on the account that shouldn't be public.

That was, I think, the end of my experience with the SU fandom as a whole, actually. I didn't stay in it for long, especially after the show ended. I am not proud of what I did in the slightest, and I think I just suppressed all of it in hopes that I'd forget about it. I genuinely don't know why I didn't go delete things. I knew I was uncomfortable with everything, so I'm honestly, genuinely confused with my past self for that. At a point, I suppose I figured that the posts were old and buried enough that they'd never see the light of day again, so I just didn't go back and delete them. I acknowledge now that this was not smart in the slightest, and so I have gone and done that.

Moving on... When I was 16 or so, in and around 2021, I got into FNaF again after being out of the fandom for a long time. At this point in time, I'm sure you know, Gacha FNaF content was making a surge in popularity, and that was my re-introduction into the fandom.

Mennard was something that was incredibly popular at the time in the Gacha FNaF community, and since that was my main input for FNaF content at the time, that's what I locked onto. I did draw it, and I did post it, and I am NOT proud of it now. I bring that phase up as a joke sometimes, because I figured it was just one of those "haha cringey phases", but I have been informed now that it makes others uncomfortable. I'm sorry for the damage I've caused through this. I will not bring it up anymore.

I understand and am fully aware that this is not an excuse, but I feel it is worth mentioning at this time that I am autistic. I was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder when I was young, and I have been due for reassessment for years. My IEP states that I have a learning disability. I feel like I have mentally aged and matured slower than others. Again, I know this isn't an excuse, but rather maybe an explanation as to why my brain worked the way it did and still does. Still, I'm sorry.

Later on, as I matured some more, I began feeling weirded out by the concept of the ship, and the things I was making, and so I stopped. I moved onto other things. I do not ship or feel comfortable in the slightest with Mennard anymore.

Occasionally I will draw the two together as friends or found family; anyone that knows me knows I hate sad or bad endings, so I just put them in situations where everything is okay. However, I would like to make it clear that I do NOT see them in the way I used to.

The callout post mentions that I liked art recently that was posted by a Mennard shipper on Tumblr and Instagram. I'm going to be incredibly and totally honest with you; I did not realize. There was one that I liked on Instagram that had the mennard and michaelxennard tag, and I didn't even see that tag. I was simply scrolling through the Ennard tag at the time and liking things I thought were cool.

Regarding the posts that are still up, I have deleted a good few of them, but I will be going back and purging everything that I have not yet deleted. I apologize, sincerely, for leaving them up for so long. I'm not sure why I never deleted them, but I will be actively doing that as soon as this is posted.

Finally, I would like to apologize for any stress or harm that I have caused to either involved fandom, or any people involved. I genuinely hope to move past this, as I believe I have genuinely improved myself and grown from this over the years.

I do not have a grudge or sense of anger against the creator of the callout post. I understand that you and others were uncomfortable, and I am sorry for making you all feel that way. All of this happened a long time ago, and I assure you and everyone that things have changed, and I do NOT indulge in any of these things anymore.

Thank you for reading. Please let me know if there's anything else I haven't touched upon or if you have any questions at all.

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josephseedismyfather · 6 months

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WIP Music (it's not) Monday (anymore)

I was tagged by @socially-awkward-skeleton in this weeks post, thank you for always thinking of me friend! 🥰 I actually started this post on Monday, but you know. Life.

Afflicted.

Tilling my own grave to keep me level

Jam another dragon down the hole

Digging to the rhythm and the echo of a solitary siren

One that pushes me along and leaves me so

Desperate and ravenous

I'm so weak and powerless

Over you

Someone feed the monkey while I

Dig in search of China

White as Dracula as I approach the bottom

Desperate and ravenous

I'm so weak and powerless

Over you

Little angel go away

Come again some other day

The devil has my ear today

I'll never hear a word you say

He promised I would find a little solace

And some piece of mind

Whatever just as long as I don't feel so

Desperate and ravenous

I'm so weak and powerless

Desperate and ravenous

I'm so weak and powerless

Over you

Parenesis.

Have you got colour in your cheeks?

Do you ever get that fear that you can't shift

The type that sticks around like summat in your teeth?

Are there some aces up your sleeve?

Have you no idea that you're in deep?

I dreamt about you nearly every night this week

How many secrets can you keep?

'Cause there's this tune I found that makes me think of you somehow and I play it on repeat

Until I fall asleep

Spilling drinks on my settee

(Do I wanna know?)

If this feeling flows both ways?

(Sad to see you go)

Was sort of hoping that you'd stay

(Baby, we both know)

That the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can't say tomorrow day

Crawling back to you

Ever thought of calling when you've had a few?

'Cause I always do

Maybe I'm too busy being yours to fall for somebody new

Now I've thought it through

Crawling back to you

So have you got the guts?

Been wondering if your heart's still open and if so I wanna know what time it shuts

Simmer down and pucker up

I'm sorry to interrupt. It's just I'm constantly on the cusp of trying to kiss you

I don't know if you feel the same as I do

But we could be together if you wanted to

(Do I wanna know?)

If this feeling flows both ways?

(Sad to see you go)

Was sort of hoping that you'd stay

(Baby, we both know)

That the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can't say tomorrow day

Crawling back to you (crawling back to you)

Ever thought of calling when you've had a few? (you've had a few)

'Cause I always do ('cause I always do)

Maybe I'm too (maybe I'm too busy) busy being yours to fall for somebody new

Now I've thought it through

Crawling back to you

Untitled Johnny WIP.

All the blood, lying on the floor

Sense the crowd, expecting something more

Opened up, proudly on display

What we tried so hard to hide away

Blinding light illuminates the scene

Try to fill the spaces in between

Arms entwined in a final pose

Narrative drawing to a close

Still remain, the things we couldn't kill

In your eyes, I can see it still

How we choose the framing of the scene

Hate begins to spill across the screen

Blinding light illuminates the scene

Try to fill the spaces in between

Tagging, with apologies for doubles and no pressure as always: @wrathfulrook, @trench-rot, @ladyoriza, @cassietrn, @redreart, @inafieldofdaisies, @hotmessteaparty, @g0dspeeed, @v0idbuggy, @insanityofvaas, @simplegenius042, @malefiquinn, @strangefable, @noodlecupcakes, @chazz-anova, @ocdemon-747, @evilvvithin, and anybody else that wants to play! Tag me! 😘

#music monday #harley x jacob #evangeline x joseph #untitled johnny wip #far cry 5 wip #tagged 🖤#wip playlist #music tag games #spotify #Spotify

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k00299539 · 4 months

Text

Movement Project Week 3 - Animation 02 - More Animation

Above: Peak Performance...

I made a quick video of me recreating the staircase in Blender. Having already figured out the process last week it only took three and a half minutes this time, and that's including me navigating my way through menus at a glacial pace. This speaks more to how unskilled I was at first, rather than how skilled I've become since. I basically graduated to a level of basic competence. That being said in my haste to do it fast I made some obvious mistakes, like not making the steps long enough rotate gracefully and only eyeballing the step height instead of actually measuring it.

I forgot to mention it last time but the great thing about modifier in Blender, such as the array modifier I used so extensively, is that they are a non-destructive form of editing. If I were to model each step individually, even duplicated from a single mesh, and decided I wanted them to be a different length, I would have to edit them one by one. With a modifier all I have to do it edit the original and the duplicates will follow suit. There's a million time-saving tips like this in 3D modelling but unfortunately practice very few of them.

Above: More time than it was worth...

Here's a animation of the spiral staircase I rotoscoped in Krita. Even doing it on two's(12 frames per second, opposed to 24, or one's, in the 3D render) it took soooooo long. What's worse is I only drew half the goddamn staircase cause I though I could flip and reverse the footage to create the top half. I actually kind of thing I could still do that and blame my general incompetence.

Regardless the animation, as incomplete as it is, showcases a lot of what I wish to accomplish with this project. I love the trippy, dreamlike quality of the endless loop. I love how the staircase's central pillar can be inferred from the negative space between where one drawing ends and another begins. And although it was only done to mask out the top half for practical purposes, I love the duality of the split screen. The staircase disappears in the darkness like smoke in the night air.

As I've promised in the last couple of posts, I will return to these ideas and flesh them out further. As well as give a more thorough answer on what exactly my thesis is and why I chose the spiral for movement. The reason I haven't gone too in-depth so far is that I'm currently writing in retrospect and trying to explain my thoughts before they were as fully formed as they are now. I guess I'll say to whoever is forced to read this, thanks for your patience so far.

#3d #animation #lsad #movement

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voidwritesstuff · 4 months

Text

Long Way To The Truth

Cw:Lucas has a paranoid spiral, killing off an npc,guns,mentions of ptsd..

♡Chapter Five: Utah

♡summary; Lucas has various run ins with the law,some pleaseant and others...

As he drives into the state of Utah,theres something that had been picking at the back of his mind. That damn black SUV, it may be his paranoia but hes been dealing with these goverment spooks his whole life.

He rolls back his shoulder,trying to shake off the bad feeling thats clinging onto him like a leech. A sigh falls past his lips as he turns on the radio,and for a second time in his journey, Black Sabbath plays,same song.

Finished with my woman 'cause

She couldn't help me with my mind

People think I'm insane because

I am frowning all the time

Lucas hisses in discontent at the recognition of the song, but leaves it on. With a scowl he keeps Driving, a resting bitch face that could scare anyone.

All day long I think of things

But nothing seems to satisfy

Think I'll lose my mind

If I don't find something to pacify

Can you help me

Occupy my brain?

Oh yeah

He hates how much the song fits Him. In any other context he'd be singing along,but after being chased by some weird SUV,yeah no thanks.

One of his "quirks" is that he overthinks,he does that a lot. Hell,that SUV was enough to send him to the edge of a paranoid spiral,hes so damn close, he cant be caught before ever reaching Milton-Haven..

I need someone to show me

The things in life that I can't find

I can't see the things that make

True happiness, I must be blind

See,this is the thing thats making him consider seeing a therapist again,hes used to his paranoid spirals,hes lived with them his whole life. But just because hes gotten used to it,that doesnt mean its easy.

On bad days,he couldnt even leave his house, he'd cover up all Windows and entrances And just bunker himself into his house for days at a time.

He hates It, he hates the feeling of paranoia,the Fear,the anxiety. God,he does need help.

Make a joke and I will sigh

And you will laugh and I will cry

Happiness I cannot feel

And love to me is so unreal

And its not only the paranoia,he feels happiness like its muffled,filtered out. He could laugh,he could find things funny,but the happiness didnt last long. And as much as he wants to hold on to that feeling,there are days where its as brief as the passing breeze.

And so as you hear these words

Telling you now of my state

I tell you to enjoy life

I wish I could but it's too late

The song ends shortly thereafter. He sighs in relief and lets the other songs play out until he reaches a café. There he orders breakfast and sits on a quiet,lone booth in the back.

Paranoid,hes paranoid, he knows that. But he tries to play it off so he doesnt stick out like a sore thumb.

Lucas tilts his head to the side,stretching his neck muscles with a deep sigh. He feels the bones in his neck pop and a lot more relaxed he grabs his Journal

"Already in Utah, ive been paranoid and panicky all day. I havent felt like this since my last paranoid spiral a week ago,the Day I decided I needed to chase this mystery.

God,i can still remember the feeling of having my house in complete shutdown. All the Doors locked, it was GODDAMN awful.

I need a break before I actually have a public freakout and draw more attention to myself. I dont want to be even more of a target...or feel that way ever again.

Thought this trip would help me get out of the house and feel less paranoid. Having to be on the edge of yet another spiral is a Real gut punch to the Morale. Its just a few days more, I think I can hold out.

Hopefully."

Post breakfast,he resumes his Driving,checking his outside mirror more than he should. He double checks that his rifle Is at hand more than he normally would.

Oh he can already feel it setting in,the cold sweating, the anxious bounce of the leg, the way his fingers tap on the Gear shift in an uneven,inconsistent rythm. Its like a melody falling appart.

Hes out of synch,hes out of rythm,like a drummer messing up the beat of the song over and over again.

Lightheaded,his heartbeat is a drum in his ears,blasting and breaking his eardrums. Its awful, asphyxiating

With shaky,irregular breaths his eyes look for a motel nearby. He spots one in the map,one of the things he highlighted before the trip, and on the way there, he decided he needs to calm down.

It starts off with breathing excersices,deep inhales and exhales. Then,grounding excersices, 5 things he can see,four things he can touch,That sort. And slowly but surely,his breath Evens out,his heartbeat returns to normal and he feels back to reality.

Yet,it takes a toll on him. His body feels s lot weaker,more tired.

He hates it,he Hates that he knows whats the right thing to do. And so,he keeps Driving.

As he reluctantly pulls into the parking lot of the motel, Lucas mentally curses that stupid paranoia spiral that led him here.

The door to his van closes rather loudly,usually he is carefull with car Doors, but today hes pretty pissed, so he slams the door shut,catching the attention of a person leaning on the entrance to the motel.

But he doesnt notice them until he hears them go-- Damn,Rough Day.

You wouldve thought he could have broken his neck with the speed that he Turned to see the person talking to him.

Hes met with a rather short woman, around 5'3,short Bond hair,grey eyes and dressed in pretty comfortable normal clothes.

--You could say as much-- he replied, a little annoyed but trying to not lash out.

This girl can tell though, she notices the way his jaw sets and his eyes almost burn a hole through her head.

--You might want to find someone to look out for your van, shit's been crazy as of late.

Lucas squints at her,checking for anything that might confirm his suspicion.

And he does, he sees the glimmer of a badge poking out from the pocket of her jacket. But she looks a lot younger than him and hes too tired to throw down with anyone.

--Tough chance kid,now ive had a very,very,bad day so far. So,if you dont mind-- he starts before the woman stands infront of him. He snarls and hisses a growl,annoyance building up.

--look- I know what youre trying to do

--Youre a fed,'course y'do

--n' I think its the right thing-- she added,which made him back off just a little.-- I wasnt lying about stuff getting crazy,ill Keep an eye out on the van.

--And me

She rolled her eyes, pursing her lips and giving him a blank stare-- you wish. Im on your side and I think it would do you good to listen to what I have to say. Youre a Smart Man,arent you? So quiet down

Fine, hes playing along. Hes too tired to protest-- fine,what is your wisdom, oh great fed.

God,his sarcasm was really taking the wheel,huh?

--I am on your side,I dont think our little friend from the 60s should make a comeback,its too effective,too inhumane -- she explains,relaxing her posture a little since he is not an active threat.-- so you go sleep,hey some rest and get ready. Because theyre comin at you with everything that theyve got

Lucas sighs, nodding-- 'kay, fine so do I have to pay a bribe or something

--dont tempt me. But no-- she replied-- And also,theres this therapist in Milton-Haven,I know a guy whose sister is a patient of his,told me hes a great guy. His names something Wales. I think you could use the help

Oh,so he looks THAT traumatized,huh?

--Good to know I look that fucked up-- he snapped back.

--Brother,we have a whole file on you

--'course y'do

--I know you have PTSD. Trust me- ive bee-- im right there with you, theres help out there for you.

At that,his gaze softens,his heart feels like its being squeezed and his face changes. Hes no longer angry,he feels...sorry.

She can tell,and hes quick to recompose himself and scoff,trying to play it off by walking into the motel as he says-- Hide yer damn badge,yer Fed's showing.

The agent only chuckles at his flusteredness and adds-- sweet dreams,Mr.Cole.

Lucas books a room for the night. He gets set into bed,actually enjoying the comfort of the bed rather than be put off by it. Hes that exhausted. With a deep breath,he allows his conscience to be taken over by sleep.

He finds himself in the barracks of the place they were stationed at. Hes enjoying the mildly Cool breeze that flows through the few Windows.

--Bored much,lieutenant?--Wheeler asks, with a smirk on his lips.

--oh hey Al-- he replied,as his friend sat down beside him on the bed.-- not bored its just...jetlagged

--yeah ive had that happen to me,itll take a few days to get used to it

--Its like ive been steamrolled-- he murmurs,rubbing his eyes-- im so damn Tir-- he yawns,cutting his sentence in hair--ed

Alphonso chuckled-- welcome to the world,kid. Hey,you wont Belive what I sneaked past the guards

A little curious he asks-- What?

Like a kid in christmas,his Friend pulls out two small Hershey chocolate bars-- the good stuff,kid.

--How did you even--He grabs one of the bars,its Cool to the touch-- how is it cold?

--i have my ways-- Wheeler answer with a shrug as he peeled open the chocolate.

--Who did you even have to bribe to get these past,well,everyone?!--Lucas asked, impressed,confused and slightly worried that this will come back to bite them in the ass.

--A true magician never reveals his methods,'n also you'd be surprised at the ammount of shit ive Snucked in-- his captain answered,taking a bite out of his chocolate-- Get rid of the evidence before it melts. Cmon

Enthusiastically,he mows down that chocolate,laughing along with Wheeler to some of his tales of Shenanigans past.

He awakens with a groan as he rolls on his back, his body feeling a little sore. It takes him a second to stand up,spending a few minutes laying on his back with one hand on his stomach and the other behind his head.

When he does eventually sit up,he rubs the sleep out of his eyes and a sleepy whine escapes him,sounding Like a half asleep kitten rather than a fully grown 55 Year old Man.

"13:05"reads the clock on the nightstand,he sighs loudly and gets ready to leave to get lunch. But when he opens the door he finds a cardboard bag with a mcdonalds emblem printed on it,and on it a note "Its not poisoned. YES this note Will make you think that it is, if I wanted you dead I would've Killed you in your sleep. Anyway I hope you had a good nap. -S.V."

And once again,just when he thinks his life couldnt get any weirder, life proves him wrong

Hes not gonna look a gift horse in the mouth,so he takes the food and eats. It disturbs Him a little that she got his order right too, but hes also not that surprised.

Once hes done eating, he goes to check on his van through the Window of his room. Still there,nothing out of place from what he can see, but Parked right Next to It is a black SUV. He looks low key OFFENDED that she would park the very obvious fed vehicle right Next to his white van.

But then he stops and thinks about the absolute insanity that is having a white van Next to an unmarked SUV. Both of the most suspicious vehicles to ever exist on this planet,Next to eachother just hanging out.

For his peace of mind he figured its like negative plus negative equals positive. If people saw those two things there they'd think nothing of it because who would actually do that.

Yet before he backs off to Keep sleeping, he notices the Agent go into the SUV with what seems to be a happy meal box, and just sit there and eat as she listens to the radio.

He knows that federal agents are people just like he was,but actually seeing an agent jam out to aqua's "Barbie girl" was defenetly an experience. But he feels moved and only scoffs playfully,to then Grab a fresh pair of clothes and get into the shower.

Because of the day he was having,he didnt do his whole routine. He just did enough so his hair didnt look like complete shit and left It as it was,whatever happened to it was between him and god.

Tiredly,he hops into bed only to hear a rattle come from the cardboard box that was still on the bed. He reaches over only to find a green tamagochi in the bag,theres a note taped on it "a token of peace for when youre stuck in a traffic jam"

He snorts and decides to kill of some time by playing with the tamagochi. He'd have to look for tracking devices later,but that was an issue for future Lucas.

Current Lucas spends his time playing with the tamagochi for a few hours until hes ready to leave. He packs up his stuff,puts the little Toy in his pocket and goes to his van to shove all his shit in there.

But before he leaves, he goes to the store by foot, gets exactly two Hershey chocolate bars and returns.

--No wonder I caught your badge--He mutters,noticing the Window of the SUV rolled down half way. He grabs the Hershey chocolate that has a note on it and lets it fall on the drivers Seat, then he goes into his own vehicle and just as he closes the door he notices something.

Theres a small bundle of notes on the passenger Seat tied together with an elástica band.

He takes a few seconds to take a quick look at them, they're mayer documents, theres a list with adresses of buildings, a few with redacted notes.

And a little post it that says "if anybody asks,I didnt get them for you. This never happened,I dont exist. Also itll do you good to find Dr.James. safe trip"

Lucas raises a brow but sets the papers down, and just as he pulls away from the parking lot,his fed friend comes from the inside of the motel and watches him leave. He salutes her and she salutes right back, leaving her to Snicker to herself.

She gets into her car only to notice the chocolate bar with the note, she takes it and it reads "thanks for looking out for my van. Consider this your Bribe- LT.L.C." and underneath it theres a small Killroy drawn with the phrase "get killroiy'd" ,The agent snorts and gets into her car.

She needs to think for a damn good lie to tell her assigned battle buddy,a guy by the last name Dwight,who she left on the dinner they had breakfast at whilist waiting for Lucas to show up. She knew it had to be good,if not her fellow agent would go and check it out, and she did not like his odds against Lucas.

They werent particularly close. Hell,shes never heard of the guy before this very day. But both were there to hold eachother accountable just in case, and the guy had a reputation for taking matters in his own hands If he wasnt satisfied with the results of others.

For some reason,the mere thought of that left a sour taste in her mouth. She had to be careful about this to not out herself,or hey anyone in trouble or worse.

Regardless,Most of Lucas' night drive goes by without any issue,most of the night though. He catches another loose interaction in that no longer dormant frequency.

He stops the van on the side of the road,nothing but Rolling fields of wetlands around him. Theres cicadas and grasshoppers serenading the moon that night as it peeks from the dark clouds. If you were to stand there for a bit, you'd feel very alone very quickly. Its really unsettling.

Theres a bit of static but not enough to the Point that its a garbled mess, he hears a female voice, has to be early thirties.

《Confirm arrival of shipment,over》

And a male voice answers 《confirming arrival of shipment. ETA a few months,still waiting on the ship. Over》

That same female voice replied 《ten-four.》 Then theres a brief pause,he hears an impatient sigh from the woman and then she adds 《Lets hope the ship doesnt crash or else we're all in big FUCKING trouble. Romeo Mike Julliet out》

He knew the shipment was a big deal but- hearing that Lady sound that impatient for it really Honed in the idea.

Lucas writes down what he heard and closes his Journal,and just as hes about to tuck in for the night, he hears the rustling of Grass and semi quiet footsteps approaching his van.

"Why is nothing ever allowed to be simple" he thinks,getting his gun ready and cocking it as silently as he could. He turns off the lights on his van,making it seem like hes going to sleep, he lays down,hiding himself between the dark shadows of the van as the moon gets covered by the thick stormy clouds.

When the head of his intruder is peeking through the half opened Window of the Man's back door he shoots.

Even if the rifle wasnt suppressed, nobody wouldve heard the shot in the middle of that field Clad road. The body falls and he waits for a shitstorm.

But its quiet.

And then his mind goes to that agent he met,his blood freezes and he tenses up. The Sky gets struck with thunder so loud it might break the heavens in two, the rain pours down on the earth.

Oh no

The doors SLAM Open as he looks at the short figure laying limp on the road. His breath quickens as he steps out and hovers over the body.

Blood gets swept by the rain,the thunder illuminates the fields in brief flashes of white light,like a roar from a celestial lion.

On the side of the road,the green Grass gets stained crimson and as his heart beats to the rythm of a thousand drums,to the Point that it drowns out the storm...

He sighs in relief as he sees its another agent,a guy,pretty short in statue. His eyes catch the guy's CIB badge strapped to his belt --OH THANK GOD

But then the reality sets in, he just Killed a CIB agent.

Oh.

Shit.

Like a bat out of hell,he hops right back into his van and drives the whole night through,soaked in rain and checking his back every four minutes. By sunrise he makes it to Nevada and stays in the most hidden,most inconspicuous cheap motel he can find. He just fucked up. Big. Time.

#in sound mind #ism lucas #lucas cole #ism

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raeloganthesonic06fangirl · 2 years

Note

Is any headcanon you make up for Quackerjack not just you projecting on the character yourself or is it all "Since I like this my fav likes it too" "Since I suffer from this kind of thing my fav suffers from it too" kind off deal?

Suffer? From what? I'm confused...

Quite a bit of headcanons that have nothing to do with me, actually. They're really fun to do because I have to do some deep dives sometimes to get an understanding of what I had in mind. Hyperlinked ones are ones I could find the exact posts

QuackerJack has rubber based superpowers but doesn't know it

QuackerJack is Gosalyn's bio-dad and he was Professor Waddlemayer's son-in-law Headcanon/Theory

QuackerJack had a bad bout of pneumonia as a kid and his strong attachment to toys began because his parents bought him a lot of toys during recovery

QuackerJack has a perfectly normal twin brother named QuackerZachary that lives in Duckburg and isn't relevant to the plot

QuackerJack unintentionally messed with his own memory while testing the HypnoDisc/Mr. Relaxatron

QuackerJack is one of the strongest mortals in St. Canard

QuackerJack is 2ft 9in tall

QuackerJack has rubber based superpowers but doesn't know it (explained further)

The Lawn Darts Theory

Load Bearing QuackerJack Theory AKA: QuackerJack's consistency in his alternate counterparts is keeping the multi-verse from collapsing on itself

QuackerJack saw "Five Characters in Search of an Exit" when he was 11, and it messed him up for a few weeks in 1961

QuackerJack's in-universe actor in DT17 is named Mike Bill, and he retired from acting to be a pediatric dentist because he broke his leg on set, presumably what Jim Starling was referring to when he said "one little boo boo and they fall to pieces

QuackerJack was a Flower Child

Lots of short headcanons

His "Origin Story" begins with a series of mundane bad luck

QuackerJack caused a bullet ant infestation that resulted in St. Canard being fumigated, which is probably one of the reasons he was sued

QuackerJack collects LaserDiscs

QuackerJack's weird eating habits includes, but not limited to: Eating Mac and Cheese as a scoop in his hand like an apple, eating coleslaw out of a paper bag with his fingers, drinks ranch dressing straight out of the bottle, chomps down on a soda can to shotgun it, etc...

QuackerJack's plumage is underdeveloped, and better resembles down instead of guard feathers. They're very fine and fluffy, and not very waterproof, hence why he can't float like other Ducks. This gives him the Duck equivalent to being "baby faced", which he finds embarrassing. Part of why he wears so much attire is to draw attention away from that.

QuackerJack went to the Duck-verse equivalent to Woodstock when he was 19. Yes, he did have a VW esque van, and yes, it was a pretty awesome time.

QuackerJack is a licensed nail technician, but business for such a salon in a predominantly avian city is pretty non existent. The reason for this is because he took college courses in fashion and cosmetology in order to better design dolls that would appeal more to customers.

Aforementioned fashion classes were very helpful in his costume design skills as well.

QuackerJack checks the dump regularly for discarded game consoles and controllers so he could gut them for parts to repurpose into his mechanical creations

Pertaining to the "QJ is Goz's Bio Dad" theory, him being so is why Taurus Bulba targeted him in the comics during his time working at QuackWerk.

QuackerJack is canon to Super Smash Bros (something I've been working on for a while now, with some posts linking the ideas via connecting game appearances and all that, but basically, because he's in "Disney Heroes Battle Mode", he's effectively linked to Wreck-it Ralph, which includes links to specific game franchises that would be in SSB, as well as linking to Kingdom Hearts and Minecraft, both of which were added to SSBU after I'd half-joked about those being the missing links)

The only things I really project would be a few quirks and similar things I always related to that I would know how to write about properly because "write what you know". 👀

Also, I just want him having amblyopia to be reasonable because I never see that get represented and Nega-QuackerJack having those thick crafting glasses at least gives me hope

#darkwing duck #quackerjack

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feeshies · 1 year

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things that surprised me about top surgery

seeing similar posts helped to ease my pre-surgery anxieties, so i'm hoping i can help too

(note: these are my personal experiences. i'm not claiming any of this is universal. i do use a lot of 2nd person pronouns but yeah)

the pain really isn't that bad. i heard other people say this too, but i also saw a lot of people insisting that the second day is the worst. the first night, i was actually afraid to go to bed bc i didn't want to wake up in pain. but it really isn't that bad. you will be given some pretty good painkillers so you just have to let those do the trick. i'd compare the post-op pain to a really bad charley horse at worst (i get these a lot so i know what i'm talking about lol). by which, i mean you'll get an occasional spike of pain that lasts for a few minutes and you just have to stay still while you wait for it to pass. but you most likely won't be in mind-melting wailing agony all day. i've had cramps worse than the post-op pain. the most intense pain i felt during my recovery was when i bashed my knee on an end table while i was trying to climb into bed.

but you will be uncomfortable. i eventually got the itchiness to settle down with some lotion, but for a while i was scratching myself red. for this past week, i'd compare my overall feeling to the day after an intense workout. my chest is sore, my arms are floppy, and i have to be very slow and careful with my movements. it sucks, but i consider it to be more annoying than painful. but if you do experience any actual sharp pain (that's longer than a few seconds), you should contact your doctor bc that could be signs of an infection.

you'll probably be able to be independent again sooner than you think. in the weeks leading up to the surgery, i prepared to be fully dependent on my caretaker. we thought i'd be spending weeks propped up in bed, unable to do anything else. now, it's good to over-plan than to be caught off guard, but by the third day of recovery i was able to move around freely with little help. it took a few days before i could get out of bed on my own, but once i was up i could walk around the house, make my own coffee, etc. i'm 8 days post-op and my lifestyle has pretty much returned to normal, except that i can't lift things, i can't go for runs as often, and i can't shower. but i can still draw at my computer, feed myself, and go for slower walks by myself.

stool softeners.

drains are your friend. ngl, it is kinda gross if you think about it too much. i'm not squeamish, but something about seeing the tubes and fluids does make me a bit woozy (i read gyo). i'll try to alleviate those feelings if i can. 1. you won't see the tube insertion point. i still don't know where they go. 2. even if you're not squeamish, it helps to have someone assist you with the drains. 3. get a mastectomy shirt (in a larger size). they're specially designed to conceal the drains/tubes, so i spend most of the day forgetting that they're even there. 4. like the pain, it's more annoying than agonizing. i don't like them, but mostly because they slow down my movements and prevent me from showering, not because they're causing me any real pain.

overall, i'd compare my experience to being closer to day 3 of a cold. you're not at 100%, your nose is stuffed up, your head aches, but you're still able to do stuff around your house with little issue. the most frustrating thing is waiting until you're actually better.

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touchoflaughter · 1 year

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✨ IRL Tickle Story Dump ✨

Since I got requested some more irl stories I decided to make this post where I shortly describe a few from the past days/weeks I remember! Hope y'all doin' good!

Love, Aphro ♥︎

♥︎ The first that comes to my mind was when I had an argument with my bf in the car. He was driving and instructed me to keep my mouth shut by the end of it which made me really angry. So I folded my arms like a child and decided to not talk to him the entire day for punishment... making the calculation without our friend who sat next to me, grinning like a dork: "Oh come on! You're not going to be mad now, are you?" I ignored him too (I was really f*cking angry) when he started giggling: "I can make you laugh again!" And without further warning he started poking my side. I was truly disappointed in myself cause it worked SO well. He barely touched me and I started grinning, trying to defend my upper body. Without a chance. He had me giggling involuntary only a second later even though I was really mad! Well I always thought tickling wouldn't work when you're in a bad mood. But as you can see... don't feel too safe 🥴

♥︎ The next one is my personal favourite cause I wasn't the victim for once (yay) and had the time of my life! We were in class. I'm sitting next to Joey (my bestie) and we somehow teamed up against Phil in the past days [Side note: Phil is our classmate who enjoys mocking and tickling me way too much]. Unfortunate for Joey, since he got involved Phil found out about his ticklishness. It's not that easy with Joey, cause he's not only an experienced fighter, he also is pretty ticklish one day but hardly the other. Seems it really depends on his mood. But Phil seemed to draw the conclusion his ticklishness has to be measured any day. So he came up to us, placing himself behind Joey, resting his hands on his shoulders. Joey already knew what he was up to and looked up to him from his sitting position. "So how's my patient feeling today?", Phil joked when he spidered his fingers all over the back of Joeys ribs who tried to moan as if this turned him on. (He definitely tried to make Phil uncomfortable) But beyond his control in between his long moan some giggles slipped and within a few seconds he couldn't help but laugh helplessly. When he tried to free himself from his attacker, Phil and I started laughing at once. You guys have no idea how funny this scene was! And he was so loud too! We had anyones attention 😂 I even laugh now, thinking about it...

♥︎ The third one is also about Joey. Since Phil was more after him now -thank god- he decided to balance its by attacking me now. Pretty unfair if you ask me since Phil still victimised me too - I'm simply not the only one anymore. The issue I have with that? Joey is sitting right next to me and has plenty of possibilities to get me. Nearly anytime he get's back from the toilet or stuff he sneaks up on me only to drill his index fingers with such deadly precision in between my ribs, I can't help but make shocked noises! Every single time he acts surprised, like: "Wohooa what's the matter, shorty?" or "Hehe you're really sensitive there, huh?" with a mixture of these faces "😝😏". The only good thing about it? With Joey I stand a chance. Well some days he's as hard to get back as Phil but the others- hehee 😈- I actually am successful!

There are some more but since I couldn't keep it short I won't bother you any longer. Alright, have a good one! ♥︎

#irl tickles #irl tickle story #tickle community #sfw tickles #tickle blog #tickles #tickle story #tickle fluff

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todayisafridaynight · 10 months

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OH I WAS JUST REMINDED CAUSE the angle on Jo in the last panel is similar to how I remember some shots of Takita + The General Premise Of Being Sick ☠️☠️And also that I was gonna tack it onto my ask about Day with the Sun but I didn't think it was relevant enough... but yeah... We Can Only Hope...

I can't say much about the show mainly because I was in a rut and couldn't engage with any media I tried to watch at all for a while [and with a stream, I couldn't pause to process things]; that said, it was insanely successful for a reason, and if nothing else it'd probably be fun to watch before you play Judgment and see how it influenced the games! I also really love Amamiya [the female lead] and Hiroshi Abe never disappoints :]

DO NOT BE ASHAMED TO ADMIT YOU ALREADY KNEW... I didn't know that's what Krillin's name was derived from... very fun trivia :] But yeah I love Nakai's dogs and his blog posts Dearly... it's actually kinda funny too because I spent ages the other day trying to find any other characters of his who wear unbuttoned shirts for reference [during which I also kept running into media that had no subs or wasn't uploaded at all so ☠️ I'm glad you found A Ghost of a Chance!], and I completely forgot about these pics until now...

Anyway here is a bonus Tsutsumi with his dog :] he got it in 2018 for his daughters...

LASTLY I think you should give Arakawa his stubble back so I can scritch him under the chin As God Intended and I think you should write a sequel to Sons of Bosses so I can line up with a bowl :]

OH fair fair fair 😩 if its anything, since watching more jdramas and movies ive borrowed how camera angles are done in those SO it is vaguely intentional for it to be reminiscent of dramas :]

once i strongarm time from Life i'll surely give it a watch (❁´◡`❁) im forever grateful a lot of jdramas are only 10-12 episodes long, it makes binging shit HELLA easy and gives me motivation to watch and finish things ♪(´▽｀)

it's actually so unfortunate a lot of nakai's movies and shows are practically exclusive to japan (if not myself just constantly being reminded i should be better dedicated to studying japanese..) (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) still, it's what makes finding anythin he's in all the more enjoyable and has me all the more grateful （*＾-＾*）

BUT OH MY GOD TINY BABY PUPPY HIIIIIIII handsome feller.... what a cute coat... what a silly face pattern ive never seen a dog like that..... epic .........

arakawa-with-stubble has been cooking in the back of my brain for a LONG while (i've Mentally drafted a few comics that take place during a time where he'd reasonably be growing some), im just a lazy bastard who never draws any of those ideas (╯▽╰ ;;) sequel to Sons of Bosses may be a thing... depends on if i can force this goofy brain of mine to work and write three fics in one week..

#long post #snap chats #but as of right now.... i gotta finish this comic fr i havent event lined anything yet im still editing the sketch ☠️#OH BU TO RAMBLE BOUT THE TRIVIA BIT A LIL LONGER. CAUSE I SUCK. YEAH.....#a BIG FAT CHUNK of names from dragon ball are named after food Case In Points Being #yamcha (named after yum'cha which is basically just like. Lunch Time) / tenshinhan (a chinese-inspired japanese breakfast dish)#and chiaotzu based off of jiaozi- chinese dumplings :) can we tell who the explicitly-Chinese charas are... fun stuff like that.....#anyway.. i love the idea of giving jo and arakawa 'back' features of theirs that get lost.. like those restoration projects at museums..#ok im done rambling byyye

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