#actually vibing with writing today idk why

[cantsaythetword]

i feel like I constantly swing from

WRITING IS SO TERRIBLE I CANNOT WRITE FOR SHIT MY BRAIN IS MUSH AND THE KEYBOARD IS MY ENEMY

to

WRITING IS WONDERFUL I AM THE NEXT SHAKESPEARE MY FINGERS WRITE MUSIC FOR EYES AND THE WORLD SHALL WATCH ME SING

[fleshbride]

PRESENTING . . . AIN’T NUN BUT A HOOCHIE MAMA!

⭒ ݁ . ໒꒱ TOJI FUSHIGURO X F!BLK!HOOCHIE READER

⭒ ݁ . ໒꒱ CW: black fem reader; reader is 26, toji is 34; reader is on the thicker side; usage of the word nigga a few times; smut; breeding kink, hair pulling, dumbification, overstimulation, pussy slapping, impact play, messy pussy eatin’, size kink, hints of sado-masochism, a bit of brat taming, manhandling, praise & degradation, multiple orgasms, cervix fucking, choking, squirting; fwb-ish to lovers (?); pet names are used, such as mama, baby, pretty girl, dollface, princess & sweetheart; reader has a kid of her own; reader is a hoochie, meaning she’s seen as ‘ghetto’ but in a very pro-black & attractive way; reader has a mature body, pudge, cellulite, stretch marks; reader accidentally flashes toji; reader & toji share a blunt; toji is actually a good dad in this!

⭒ ݁ . ໒꒱ wc: 7.5k

⭒ ݁ . ໒꒱ this is actually pure filth. this was my first time writing for toji EVER and actually my longest work. guys when i tell you i put some shit into this thing, idk what i did but i SNAPPED. HARD. i hope you guys enjoy this nasty thing that came from my imagination. not proof read or anything so pls excuse my typos!

sometimes, your job could be a godsend. who knew that a simple job at the local hair store would catapult you into meeting one of the sexiest men you’d ever seen?

to be completely honest, it wasn’t solely your job that sparked such an interaction. it was moreso you; you possessed an irresistible, unmistakable charm that was impossible to ignore. your voice, soft as a lullaby, held a dulcet quality that drew people in like a magnet. anytime you opened your mouth to speak, you commanded attention effortlessly, as if your words held some mystical power that captivated any listener.

everyone was always drawn to you, and it wasn't hard to see why. who in their right mind wouldn’t be smitten? you were a vision of beauty, with your radiant brown skin that seemed to glow as if illuminated from within. your smile, perfect and white, could light up even the darkest room, making hearts skip a beat. your eyes were another story altogether. they seemed to sparkle, glimmering with an intensity that was all yours.

your hair was always done, you always made sure that you had a fresh set of lashes. to add, you never forgot to apply your clear lip gloss. now, this wasn't just any gloss, it was your signature, lip gloss added a radiant shine and highlighted the natural beauty of your plump and full lips. your lips, always so perfectly glossed, assumed an irresistible charm that made them look especially appetizing.

to add onto it, your personality was in tip top shape, matching your looks. while sometimes your mouth could get a little reckless, you had an air of kindness, professionalism and just genuine good vibes. it was hard to dislike you, no matter the case. you were a woman of wonders.

you loved your job at the hair store too; maybe that was why your attitude was always good while you were there. it paid well, the hours were flexible and it was something you enjoyed. you loved how your manager let you pick out the wigs and the outfits that would be displayed, and sometimes she let you take home left over makeup and jewelry — which was how you got your favorite set of hoop earrings.

working at the hair store also granted you all types of experiences. sometimes you met upcoming make-up artists and beauticians, hair dressers, nail techs, lash techs — you always made sure to be extra helpful and friendly to everyone you met, just in case they could ever help you.

or… on the rare occasion, you met men. often, they were coming in for their wives, daughters, sisters, nieces, friends — and each time, they were clueless. of course, you helped, breezing past them with the smell of bubblegum and perfume, preferably daisy by marc jacobs.

today was no different.

you were the only one working in the store this saturday, and it was roughly around 12 in the afternoon. the sound of needed me by rihanna echoed through the store, giving it a nice ambiance. you clocked in at 9, and were scheduled to get off at 4 — you had a bit of a long day ahead. however, the store had been a bit slow today. not many customers entered; maybe three every hour, compared to a usual 7-15 people per hour. you were both grateful and a bit sad for the lack of people, as it left you with extra time on your hands.

instead, you found yourself thinking of your six year old daughter at home. alaina, your sweet girl, who was at her grandmother’s for the day. you fondly rubbed the bead bracelet she made for you, that spelled out mommy. your daughter was the most loving child you knew, and you adored her with every part of you.

as you gazed at your bracelet, you let out a soft hum. you’d have to get her another one from here, even though she already had a plethora. whatever you got from the hair store, you usually shared with alaina.

the entrance bell dinging had you snapping out of your thoughts of your daughter, turning your head to greet whoever entered. your boxbraids slid down your back as you looked. it was a little girl who entered, no more than nine. she was in a cute blue dress, with dark brown hair pulled into a ponytail. her cheeks were rosy, which had you cooing at her mentally.

“hi baby,” you called out to her, looking behind her for a parent, “where’s ya mama, hm? a lil’ one like you shouldn’t be walking around all alone.” the girl hadn’t noticed you, and jumped when you called to her. she put her hands up, waving them enthusiastically. “o-oh no, miss, i’m with my dad! he’s just getting his wallet. do you know where the nails are? and the makeup?”

you smiled at the little girl, stepping from behind the counter. you were in a beige sun dress, with some matching wedged sandals. the sundress was long, coming down to your ankles, but there was a slit on the side. it hugged your curves nicely, even though your little bit of pudge was much noticeable; you didn’t care. to be honest, the dress covered way more than your usual outfits, especially in the summer like this. you had never been scared to show your body, even after you had alaina and people insisted on you covering up; because you were a mother now. however, you didn’t give a fuck. if you wanted to wear your shortest shorts, you would.

“c’mere baby girl, it’s this way.” you offered the young girl your hand, which she took happily as you led her. “i’m assuming you’re looking for the press ons, right? not the ones you glue?”

the girl gave you an enthusiastic nod. “yes, ma’am!” she was polite, you noted, with a curl of your lips. her father must be raising her right. “my dad says i’m not big enough to ruin my nails with glue..”

you let out a laugh as you squeezed the girl’s hand. “your daddy’s right,” you mused, “stick to the ones you can press til you become a teenager.” you brought her to the kiddie nails, and stood with her while she made her pick.

the young girl seemed stuck between a pair of pink ones leopard print ones, and blue zebra print ones. “what do you think, miss? i can’t choose.”

you only gave the girl a shrug. “i say get both. let ya daddy worry, not you.” however, because you liked this little girl, you’d only charge her for one anyways. the girl nodded in agreement, giving you a giggle, which you quickly reciprocated.

all of a sudden, you heard the gruff call of, “tsumiki! where have you ran off to?” the girl perked up immediately, and ran to the end of the aisle. “dad! i’m over here!” she called, waiting patiently for him to come over.

you raised your eyebrow as you made your way over. you were a bit curious to see the man who had raised such a sweet and polite girl. as you reached the end, your eyes widened as they set on the man.

he was tall, unbelievably so. his towering stature, reaching at least 6’2, must’ve made him stand out in any crowd. his body was muscular, brawny and well-built, and t he black compression shirt he wore clung to his chiseled frame, accentuating the broadness of his shoulders. his hair, a deep black, was just a bit shaggy — the perfect length to frame his strikingly sharp face.

his eyes were a vivid green, so piercing that they could make anyone feel as if they were the only person in the world. they locked onto you and tsumiki. his attractiveness was lethal, and it was impossible not to notice the way he looked over you. his gaze was slow, lingering, and purposeful, almost as if he wanted to make sure you noticed his attention.

you would’ve been phased if you were a different woman; but you weren’t. instead, you gave him your trademark smile, looking up at him with a warm aura.

a scar sat on the corner of his lip. it twitched slightly as his lips curled into a smirk, making him look even more attractive to you then he already did.

“you work here?” came his deep, rough voice. it provoked goosebumps down your skin, but you didn’t allow yourself to show it.

“yup,” you answered, “sorry i wasn’t at the counter, i was helpin’ miss thing here pick out some new nails.” you watched toji’s mouth open, and held up a finger, “and yea, before you ask — it’s the press ons. no glue needed.” the man let out a hum and gave a nod of approval.

“good. tsumiki, go put those on the counter and if you want anything else, ya better pick before i get back up there.” he told her; his voice was rough, yet still somehow sounded caring. when tsumiki scampered away with an, “okayyy!”, he turned his vision back to you.

the once over he gave you earlier didn’t seem to be enough. he gave you another; from your champagne blond knotless boxbraids which were long and down your back, curving over the swell of your ass, down to your painted white toes in your sandals. shit. you were fucking hot.

“how old are you?” he asked boldly, not wasting a second.

you raised an eyebrow, “you ain’t ever heard it ain’t good to ask a lady her age?”

“so old enough,” he countered back with a smug smirk. “have you been able to drink legally for at least two years?” still asking your age without pointedly asking like before.

“i’ve been old enough to drink legally for five years,” you relented, “so like i said, old enough. why you askin’?”

“i like to know the ages of my women before i hit on ‘em.”

you grinned. you already knew you were going to like this man, and his attitude towards you solidified that. “and i like to know the age of my men before i let them,” you combatted.

“thirty-four,” he answered immediately, and the corner of your lips pulled up in satisfaction. twenty-six and thirty-four. not a bad age gap, only eight years. you could manage.

“you allowed to hit on me now,” you said playfully as you slid past him, “don’t make the shit corny, ‘cause i’ll laugh at yo ass.” maybe that’s his plan, you thought, him tryna laugh me out my panties.

the man let out a bark of a laugh, following after you. you could almost feel his eyes locked on you as your hips swayed while you walked. he only chuckled out, “oh, don’t worry about that.”

you went back behind the counter, ready to pay for their things. tsumiki had thrown a stack of bracelets on the counter, and a new tube of sparkly pink lip gloss to which you scanned and then only scanned a pack of the nails. her father raised an eyebrow at you, but you pretended not to notice. “that’ll be 18.75,” you informed. her father pulled out thirty dollars and slid it to you. as you prepared to give him the change, he shook his head.

“don’t need the change. consider it a tip or somethin’.” you furrowed your brows at him, but didn’t question the customer. instead, you handed them their things with a sweet smile. “bye, lil’ missy,” you told tsumiki, before looking up at the man, “come back soon.” your voice was low, and quite flirtatious. he gave you a smirk.

“oh, i will.”

and he did.

it was three days later when he finally came back. you were leaned over the counter, examining your new nails. it was hot, too hot to even be working. the doors were open, and the AC’s were blasting, trying to cool off the store. you wore a jean miniskirt, with a fat gucci belt on your hips. you paired it with a cropped pink tank top that had a deep v-neck, showing off a bit of your cleavage. your golden nameplate sat perfectly on the apex of your breasts. today on your feet instead of sandals were your pair of pink and white dunks. you had taken out your box braids, and gotten your hair done the same day you got your nails done.

now, you had gotten a lace front installed — and you looked good as fuck. it was a deep shade of vibrant purple, down your back. you had added your own spin, doing one of those heart shaped parts and gelling it down the side of your forehead, and doing edges on the side.

as someone entered, you turned your head to the side to greet them. “good afternoon,” you said cheerfully, looking at the woman who entered. she was dark skinned, with a bumped bob. her makeup was done sharply. you watched as she side eyed you, and muttered out a terse, “hello.”

immediately your eyebrows furrowed. “bitches got an attitude, okay,” you grumbled under your breath as she disappeared into the aisles. it was a few minutes later when she came to the register with a flat iron. off the rip, you told her, “oh mama, you don’t want this one. a few people who purchased this one have said that it heat up too quick and smoke a lot, then breaks. so go ‘head and get another one.”

the woman glared at you, looking you up and down. “excuse me, i didn’t ask for your opinion on what i’m buying. and if it’s so faulty, why haven’t you taken it off the shelves?”

her attitude immediately had you tilting your head, trying your best to bite your tongue. “ma’am, that ain’t my job, i don’t do merchandise, i work at the register.”

she rolled her eyes at you, before snapping out, “then don’t say anything about said merchandise.”

your next words came out before you could even think about it, “ho, i’m tryna help you not burn this crispy fuck ass bob off but okay.” upon realizing what you said, you didn’t apologize nor change. instead you cocked your head, tilting it, while staring at her blankly.

“excuse me?” the woman asked, “honestly, i don’t think i’m taking hair advice from a woman who don’t wear hers natural, and has her skirt digging up her ass. how old are you? you have to have a child at home, dress with more fucking class before you talk about me,” the woman’s face was twisted as she snapped at you.

“i know damn fuckin’ well,” you said slowly — and just like that, you knew you were about to cuss her ass out. “i know DAMN fucking well that you’re not talking to me like that. bitch, are you mad that your ass built like a fuckin’ square? bitch be mad then cause that’s why yo ass slope like y=mx+b. bitch, don’t you EVER question my fashion choices when you’re wearing leather in 87 degree weather. you fuckin’ cereal box built ass bitch, you know what, i got a trick for you—“ you quickly took the flat iron from her and pointed a nail at the door. “now get the fuck out, bitch you’re banned.” the woman opened her mouth to retort, but you were faster, talking over her, “bitch, i don’t give a FUCK. get the fuck out.”

the woman mumbled a, “ghetto bitch.” before storming out the store while you massaged your temples. it was nothing you hadn’t heard though. “fuck be wrong with bitches. man, i need a fucking BLUNT.”

“personally, i would’ve hopped over the counter.”

you looked up at the familiar voice, seeing the man you met the other day. immediately, a grin spread across your face. “look who came back.”

“told ‘ya that i would.” he mused, walking up to the counter, “you should’ve thrown the flat iron at her face. i would’ve paid money to see that.” he wore a white wifebeater and black basketball shorts. did he just come from the gym or something? the lack of clothing allowed you to see just about all of his muscles, and god, were you pleased.

you snorted, giving him a playful eyeroll. “shit, i was fuckin’ thinking about it. you saw the whole thing?” the mystery man, who you decided to dub mr. man, gave you a nod. “positively. you cleaned her so beautifully, and i have to add, you look so, so appealing when you’re angry.”

“shut up, nigga,” you laughed as you put your elbows on the counter, cupping your face with both hands. “what’re you here for?” you looked up at him, and he mimicked your action, fitting his fat ass arms on the counter.

“i need some hair gel for my son. he’s in this spiky phase, shit, i don’t know,” mr. man rolled his eyes a little bit, before adding, “and i don’t know which to pick. as you can clearly see, i don’t use gel.”

you let out another laugh, coming from behind the counter. “yeah, c’mon mr. man, i’ll show you which to use.” off the rip, you noticed how his eyes locked on your body.

yeah, i got it like that, nigga, your inner thoughts said as you internally hyped yourself up.

“mr.man?” he questioned from behind you, his eyes focused on the way your hips swayed, and the way a little bit of your ass was uncovered by the skirt.

“well, you never told me your name, so i gave you a nickname.”

he snorted a little before saying, “well, my name’s toji, for one.” you thought about it for a second for a second. was that a moanable name? you went through it in your head. yeah. definitely moanable.

“my name y/n,” you finally disclosed, “but everybody just call me n/n.” toji nodded a little. “n/n… that’s cute.” you noticed one of the items had fallen off the shelf, and without hesitation, you bent over to pick it up, completely forgetting about the fact that you were wearing a skirt, and the man behind you.

toji almost had a fucking heart attack. his eyes zoomed in onto your now slightly revealed ass, your sheer red panties that showed the plush outline of your pussy. shit. shit. it was over in a second, much to his mixed chagrin and gratefulness. however, he wasn’t some boy — he maintained a straight face and control. you placed the item back on the shelf and resumed walking.

“alright,” you said, as you reached the gels, “see, here’s what i use for my daughter,” you held up a jar of eco. “eco holds good for her, and it lasts long, to be honest. her hair is a bit thicker. and it doesn’t have like color residue like prostyle gel.” you grabbed the black container of prostyle gel. “but if your son has like brown-black hair, it’ll be good.” toji shook his head, saying, “nah, he has that weird bluish-black.” you tutted and put the prostyle down.

“there’s also gorilla snot gel, which i recommend if his hair is straighter, you feel me?” you held up the yellow bottle of gorilla snot.

toji looked at both and let out a short groan. “i can’t decide. i’ll take ‘em both and see which works better.” you shrugged and passed them to him. you took note of how positively huge his hands were. they could probably cover your whole face. or… your entire ass.

“i didn’t know you had a little runt too,” he made conversation with you as you walked back to the counter, “i forgot you’re almost 30.”

“yeah i forget too, trust,” you laughed a little, “my little girl’s my pride and joy, her name’s alaina. she’ll be starting first grade this year, i’m so proud of her. i actually got pictures.” you pulled out your phone and showed him your lockscreen which was the two of you. toji chuckled.

“y’all look alike, cute,” he commented, “my son’s seven, and tsumiki’s eight. you met her last time.” you fondly recalled your encounter with the polite young girl. “you a single parent, too?”

you gave him a nod, and a shrug. “alaina’s daddy claimed he wanted nothing to do with her, so i kept it like that. then his stupid ass got locked up, thank riddance.” toji let out a short laugh. “tsumiki’s mom was my first wife, and we divorced. megumi, my son, his mom was my second. unfortunately, she passed.”

“aw,” you said, pouting sadly and placing a hand on his large arm. “i’m so sorry for your loss, sweetheart. i hope you’re doing alright.”

toji laughed a little. “i’m fine, pretty mama, don’t worry about me.”

you bristled at the new nickname, giving toji a wicked grin. “that’s how you referring to me now?” you asked, as you slid behind the counter to the register.

“you’re pretty, and you’re a mama,” toji said with a shrug. “it honestly only fits.” you very pointedly made sure to check him out and said, “mmhmm..”

as you rung him up, toji said, “does alaina need any new friends? my son’s a bit shy and doesn’t talk to nobody but his sister… maybe they could have a few play dates?”

“yeah, i’d love that!” you answered, a genuine smile coming onto your face. anything referring to your daughter made you happiest. “your total is 14.95. here i’ll give you my number...” as toji paid, you rang it up. on his receipt, you wrote your number and passed it to him.

toji grinned and gave you a nod. “see you around.” you wiggled your fingers in return.

see him around, you did. you and toji were quick to hook up play dates whenever your schedules aligned. you became familiar with the routine of getting off work in the afternoons and scooping alaina’s to head to toji’s to play with her two new best friends.

you and toji often stayed downstairs, while they played in tsumiki’s room. you and toji would watch movies, roll blunts and eat food — or sometimes even play texas hold ‘em, in which you won every single time.

toji would grumble, and accuse you of cheating, when in truth, he was really just a bad gambler, but all was well. you considered toji a good friend… of sorts.

because that’s what you two were; friends. friends who sometimes flirted a little; you considered toji a friend when you’d bend over to pick things up in those skimpy jean shorts you wore; toji considered you a friend when he’d slide past you, pressing his crotch against the curve of your ass and muttering a, “excuse me, n/n,”; you considered toji a friend when you’d play sexyyred and say the lyrics a little too… forceful; and he considered you a friend when he’d make slick little sexy comments about your body before adding, “that’s just what other guys think.”

safe to say… there was a bit of tension between you two. and finally, it came to a crescendo.

it was normal, at first. like usual, you and alaina were at toji's house. it was around 9:30pm, and the kids had collapsed after playing all damn day and finally having a meal of chicken nuggets. you remembered the look on your face discovered them. they were heaped in the large bed; tsumiki had more than enough room for all three of them, yet they were together. alaina was draped over megumi and tsumiki, her face in megumi’s chest but her body pressed to tsumiki’s. they were all tangled up, limbs skewed and whatnot.

and now, you and toji were together downstairs, toji watching as your nimble fingers crafted the blunt — his were too fat. your feet were in his lap, and he was watching you with those bright green eyes. as you rolled, you were mumbling one of sexyy’s songs. “fuck me like you mad at me, baby.. i need that dick to drive me crazyyyyy…” you sang under your breath.

toji raised an eyebrow at you, “the music you listen to has some really… meaningful words.” as you licked at the blunt, you let out a laugh. “i agree with everything she say. when suki said that if you ain’t eating coochie, you ain’t fucking, i felt that one.”

finally, you perfected it and grabbed toji’s lighter. “you only fuck eaters?” he said, amusement trickling through his voice. you lit the blunt and took a deep inhale, masterfully blowing it up into your nose and then out again before passing it to him. “yup. only fuck eaters ‘cause they do it the best. you an eater, toji?” you asked pointedly, watching as one of his rough hands drew circles on your leg, then up to your knee, while the other lifted the blunt to his lips. he took an inhale, then another. god, you hated double hitters, but it was okay — it was only you two.

“wouldn’t you like to know?” toji shot back, his trademark smirk sliding across his face. his lip twitched, scar jumping.

“that’s why the fuck i asked you, toji,” you clapped back immediately, making the older man squeeze your leg while passing the blunt back. “watch your mouth, n/n. don’t get fucked up.”

“or what?” you immediately retort, holding the blunt up to your lips as you took another puff. “you not gon’ do shit to me, toji, like i honestly wish you w—“ your words were halted by the man throwing your legs off his lap, one hand going to spread them roughly as he pressed his fingers against your clothed cunt.

“i’m not gonna do shit?” he repeated, as your eyes went wide; he had obviously startled you, but you weren’t opposed to this one bit. as his fingers rubbed at your pussy through your shorts, you shook your head feverently again, looking at him as you held the blunt to your glossed lips. “not a damn thing.”

when all toji did was nod, you were sure you were in for it. and you were. he was quicker than you, grabbing your hand that held the blunt and quickly forcing you to put the blunt in the ashtray. the smoke you were holding in your mouth was forcefully removed as toji roughly pressed his lips to yours, the smoke being shared between you two as he pried your lips apart.

the next few minutes were coated in a needy haze. his big hands were everywhere, all over your body. moving to squeeze at your tits, your ass, your thighs. eventually the settled on the waistband of your shorts and began to unbutton them. before pulling them off completely, leaving you in your lacy dark blue thong.

he pinched the plush of your pussy, barely hidden by the panties — more like decorated by it. immediately, the scent of your slick, which was already dripping, filled toji’s nostrils, making him let out a wanton moan.

“fuck, mama,” he hissed as he trailed his finger down your slit, “you always this wet? this is how you’ve been the entire time?” he looked up at you, eyes darkened with lust.

“no,” you lied immediately, giving him a reckless smirk. “she just like that off the rip. i determine whether it’s for you or not.” toji only let out a little laugh. “word?” he asked. you opened your mouth to repeat the word back to him, but you were rudely interrupted by him slapping your pussy.

it wasn’t hard, but it wasn’t exactly soft, the pain sending sparks of pleasure through you. you hissed out a, “shit..” toji smirked at your reaction as he pushed your panties to the side, before delivering another smack, this time a litle harder. you let out a mewl, squirming in his hold.

“crazy,” toji said to you, “two lil’ slaps just made you leagues wetter. you sure you’re not wet for me?”

you refused to answer, only giving him a shrug. “so you wanna be a brat now, huh?” he asked you with an eyebrow raise as he began to pull the panties down your thighs. “like you weren’t jus’ all over me. ‘toji, you a eater?’” he mocked you in a high pitched voice as he pulled you forward, legs sliding over his broad shoulders. you remained silent, biting your tongue. maybe you were a brat; you knew that with toji’s strength and stamina, you would get much more if you drew it out. plus, you wanted to make him work for every moan, every word.

“you gon eat my pussy or not?” you asked boldly, your hand going to lace through his hair, nails pressing against his scalp. “like literally, shut the f—!” you were interrupted by toji latching his mouth onto you, completely ripping the words from your mouth.

his tongue, long and flat, slid between your plush folds, calloused hands digging into your thighs as he shoved his face between your legs. off the rip, his motions were rough and quick, tongue swirling against your clit before going down to your hole, curling against it to lap at your essence. you gripped the couch as you let out soft moans, trying not to be too loud — you didn’t wanna fuel toji’s already large ego.

“fuck,” he mumbled as he pulled away, “pussy’s so sweet, baby. i should’ve bent you over in that fucking store the day you wore that skirt.” you were unable to respond before he was diving back in, tongue messily trailing througu your pussy. he was there between your thighs, feasting on what you offered, lapping up all the sweet nectar you had to spare. his lips latched onto the delicate bud of your clit, sucking with a fervor that left you gasping, while he looked up at you with a gaze that was as heated as it was prideful.

one of your hands found its way into his hair, tangling in the soft locks as you gripped it tightly, the other clutching onto the plush fabric of the couch as though it was your only lifeline. your breaths were coming out in ragged gasps, each one harder to catch than the last, your mouth falling open in that perfect 'o' shape as you let out sounds so sweet and melodious, singing a song of pure pleasure just for him.

and you couldn’t help it; euphoria was pulsing through your body, coating your thoughts in nothing but toji. your toes curled, as toji slid his tongue inside of you. god, he was so messy, your slick already all over his face, his spit mixing with your slick as it trailed down your ass.

you were incessantly moaning, unable to even downplay or disguise it anymore. “s-shit, toji, fuck, that feels so good—!” he looked up at you with satisfaction as he slid his tongue into your entrance, curling it upwards against your walls.

you squealed, trying to scoot backwards away from the pleasure, but he was quick to yank you back, trapping you against his mouth, his hands coming to wrap around your thighs. one of his fingers traced the stretch marks on your thighs. he worked his fat tongue inside of you, curling and sliding as his pointer finger swirled your clit at such a fast pace, you was sure he was gonna give you something close to a rug burn.

his paired actions had you spiraling over the edge, the coil in your stomach stretching and stretching until it was ready to snap. “toji, ‘m close—! fuck, fuck— gonna cum!” toji’s movements became much more insistent, gaining in speed as he basically shoved you over the edge.

your orgasm hit you like a brick, your back arching off the couch as you gripped toji’s hair tightly, whined babbles of repeated words leaving your lips. if it weren’t for toji holding you down and anchoring you, you were sure that you would’ve grown fucking wings and soared away.

you creamed all over his tongue, and he made sure to pull away, before messily spreading it throughout your pussy, just to lap it all up over again, letting you settle, working you through the after effects of your climax.

you sucked in ragged gasps as toji pulled away, licking his lips and wiping his face. he stared at you with such intensity, shivers went down your skin. your eyes immediately focused on his hard dick through his sweats, the outline prominent. you tapped your foot on his thigh. “gimme that,” you breathed.

“do you deserve it?” toji said back, his voice a bit raspy. “been a bratty slut this whole time. you were so cocky, remember? i don’t get you wet, right?”

you wanted to maintain your pride, you really, really did. but desperate times called for desperate measures. “c’mon, toji,” you sighed sultrily, “i was just playin’.. just wanted to make it a little fun for you, you know that..” you spread your legs a little more, teasing him as you continued, “it’s all yours, i swear — been waiting for this for such a long time.”

toji only gave you a soft chuckle and the only words gave you were, “that right, baby?” immediately, he scooped you up with a single arm, flipping you over onto your hands and knees. you let out a noise of surprise, but immediately arched your back, looking back at him as he pushed his sweats down his thighs. his dick sprung up, and you couldn’t say you were shocked by it.

his dick was both fat and long, and it almost made your eyes pop out of your head. he had to be at least eight inches, veins running up the side of his heavy dick. his tip was a dark apricot shade, and it was leaking bad, opaque beads of precum sliding out of his slit. he was well trimmed, with heavy breeder balls. you almost salivated. but at the same time, you questioned how all that was even supposed to fit in you.

he seemed to know exactly what you were thinking. “don’t you worry, princess. you’ll take every inch of me.” one of his hands gripped your ass, spreading your cheeks apart as he directed his tip against your entrance, slapping it there a few times, making you groan in need. “t-toji, stop fuckin’ playin—!”

once again, you were rudely interrupted by him pushing the tip inside of you. he let out a hiss, your walls sucking him in. however, with just how wet you were, he slid right back out. he let out a snicker as he leaned his hand down to slap your pussy again. “but you not wet for me, alright..” he lined himself up again, and this time — he didn’t push into you slowly.

with one rough thrust, he filled you to the brim, forcing you forward as you let out a strangled noise, clawing at the couch. “toji! oh fuck..!” you pulled your hips forward, trying to get him to pull out a little, but he wasn’t having it. “s-shit, i’m not even all the way in yet,” he huffed, hair hanging in his eyes. toji was letting out pants, it felt as if your pussy was fucking suffocating his dick, strangling it.

inch by inch, he pushed the rest of his dick in, until the plush of your ass was nestled against his pelvis and stomach. he yanked at his shirt, pulling it off of his body. your slick was already coating him, dripping down to his balls. you were a mess, mewling just from him entering. you felt so full — his dick stuffing you better than you ever had been before. and it was driving you out your mind.

toji didn’t wait for you to adjust. with one hand on your ass, thumb rubbing against the ridges and dimples, and the other lacing through purple hair, toji pulled all the way out, and then slammed all the way back in. the force of his motions shoved you down into the couch, and immediately you let out a cry of, “t-toji! slow down!”

but slowing down wasn’t apart of his agenda. he rasped out, “nah, this is what you wanted, baby. so take it. take my dick like a good fuckin’ girl.” he began snapping his hips into you, the veins on his dick dragging against your walls just right. your cunt clamped down on him every time he tried to pull out, as if it was forcing him to make your cunt his new home.

toji was mesmerized by the way your ass jiggled and clapped with every movement he made, the sound of your skin slapping filling the air. he slapped your ass hard and then squeezed, making you squeal once more. “fuck, look at you. bouncing this ass back on my dick so good..”

at his praise, you looked back at him before proudly twerking back on his dick, putting on a little show. he laughed, his hand trailing from your hair to snake around your throat. “such a fuckin’ slut,” he said gruffly, before pulling his hips back so that only the tip was inside before ramming his dick back inside of you.

you felt him nudge against your cervix, and you let out a noise close to a scream, while his hand tightened around your throat. tears filled your eyes at the pain, your lashes beginning to slide. “you’re gonna wake up the kids, princess. wouldn’t want them to come down to seeing you getting fucked like some whore, right? keep that pretty mouth quiet.” he leaned down, chest pressing against your back as he curled his much larger body against yours. “but not too quiet. wanna hear you lose your fucking brain over this dick.”

his other hand came to wrap around your throat, and he began to jack hammer into you, slamming you on his dick over and over. your eyes rolled back, a mix of pain and pleasure twisting through you, that coil getting ready to snap again. “t-toji…” you slurred out, “g-gonna fuckin’ cum again…!”

“so fucking do it,” toji hissed as your clenching began to get more intense. “paint my shit, baby.” his voice was sending shivers down your spine, aiding your increasing pleasure. you let out ragged moans into the couch as your body trembled, pussy spasming wildly around his dick as you came a second time.

he didn’t slow down through your orgasm, instead, he went faster, if that was even humanly possible. he pressed down on your head, forcing your face into the couch, and pressing on your belly simultaneously. it forced you to have a deeper arch, but it also made you feel just how deep he was inside of you. pressing his big hand against your stomach to feel his bulge had toji grinning.

you were a wreck, tears sliding down your face, your lashes long fallen of. you were pretty sure your lace had peeled, but you didn’t care. you could barely think, barely form coherent sentences with how toji was fucking you. and he knew it. he knew he reduced you to a mess, and he wasn’t even halfway finished with you.

soon, he felt his orgasm coming, and he let out a deep groan. “shit.. where do you want my cum, doll? ‘m getting close..” you were quick to whine out, “i-inside, toji.. want you to cum inside…!”

“haah!” he grunted out with a smirk, “want me to fill you up, huh? want me to stuff you full with my cum? yeah, i bet you fucking do, look at you.”

“toji, toji, toji, fuckkk.. want your babies, c’mon, make me a mama again—!” toji laughed shakily at your dumb response, pushing his hair out of his eyes. “fuck yeah, dollface. you better not spill not one drop, alright?” he let out a strangled moan as he released, his thick cum filling her to the walls.

you sucked in harsh breaths, finally feeling relieved after toji’s constant fucking stopped. he seemed to slow down, gently fucking his load into you. you began to relax… however you were sorely mistaken.

“you thought i was done with you?” toji asked as he gripped you, flipping you over so that he could see your face. you looked a mess, but you were so, so pretty. your eyes were watery, face with tear trails all over. your lips were bruised from how much you’d been biting them. at least your hair was still intact… for now. toji leaned down and pressed a kiss to your jawline, down to your throat. he yanked at the top you wore, and when it didn’t want to cooperate, he ripped it and peeled it off of you himself. “toji, my shirt….” you whimpered but he dismissively waved a hand. “you’ll get one of mine.” he reached behind you, unclipping your bra and letting your tits spring free.

his big hands almost swallowed them as he began to leave bites and kisses all over your throat, collarbone and chest. “can’t possibly be done with you,” he said against your skin, “been waiting to fuck you like this since i laid eyes on you, doll.”

he left a plethora of hickies on your skin, very obviously marking you as his. you were still speared on his dick, and he began to roll his hips languidly inside of you, curving into your g-spot repeatedly. the feeling had you seeing stars as he gripped your legs and pulled them around his waist. with each thrust, he began to get more forceful and speed up, until once more, he was pounding your insides.

your nails went to his back, scratching, making toji wince in pain as his hips collided with yours. three of your nails had broken off. a third time, you felt yourself reach your climax once more, but it felt different. painful almost, with the last your clit throbbed. you managed to push away the toji-shaped clouds in your brain and realized.

“t-toji—! toji, ‘m gonna squirt!” you cried out as you twisted in his hold, the pleasure becoming overwhelming for you. “t-toji—!” he only smirked at you, yanking you closer. “make a mess f’me, mama. wanna see you get all messy… c’mon, c’mon, make that pretty pussy squirt on my dick.” he pressed another messy kiss to your lips as his hand snuck down to rub your clit, forcing more pleasure into your system. you let out a ruined, gasped noise — like you wanted to scream but couldn’t get it out. clear liquid gushed from you, coating toji’s lower half, some of his abdomen and the couch.

you were in too much of a haze to notice that soon after, toji came inside of you a second time. he didn’t pull out at first, instead opting to lay his head against your sweaty skin, pressing kisses. he realized that you would be completely gone for a bit, after that, so he was gentler with you. he pulled out, watching his cum slowly dribble from your hole after the two creampies he gave you. not wanting you to sit in your own fluids, picked you up and brought you to his room, putting you one of his shirts and a pair of his boxers before tucking you in.

he went back downstairs, eyes locked on the mess you made on the couch. a soft whistle escaped as he plucked your lashes off the sofa and put them on the table.

you probably wouldn’t become his girlfriend yet; but you damn for sure weren’t going anywhere now.

[ihrtchrissturniolo]

YOU LOOK CUTE

Chris x Reader

y/n is used:)

she/her pronouns are used !

trigger warnings/ authors note: cussing and making out

summary: you do chris skincare<3

Everytime you asked chris to do his skincare, he'd either say, "no ma, maybe tomorrow" or, "it might mess up my face" even when you reassured him it wouldn't.

but you haven't asked him in a while, a couple months actually, so today you were going to ask him again.

"hey mama" chris says as you walk towards him and he places his arm around you.

"hey love, can i please do your skincare?" you ask him and lean into him, looking up at him.

"y/n" he sighs and looks down at you before giving you a kiss on the lips.

"chris" you say, mocking his tone before giggling slightly and he jokingly rolls his eyes at you.

"you know what? fine, you can" he says and holds your hand.

"really?" you ask as a smile appears onto your face

"mhm" he replies.

"okay, follow me" you say as you bring him upstairs to the bathroom.

"okay, so first is your cleanser" you explain to him as you grab the bottle and pump some of it onto his face and quickly wash your hands.

"baby it's gonna fall off my face" he exclaims and you giggle slightly before starting to rub it into his face gently.

"okay, does it burn or anything?" you ask him, getting your toner ready.

"no ma'am" he says, trying to get a reaction out of you and you side eye him slightly before saying, "wash this off"

"alright" he says and you step out of his way as he turns on the water and starts rubbing it off.

"ready?" you ask as he turns back to you before wiping off his hands onto his shirt.

"mhm" he replies and goes back to where he was standing.

"okay, next is toner-" you are cut off by chris singing lust by lil skies.

"your so weird" you giggle before rubbing the toner into his face.

"you love me" he replies to you and you nod in response.

"okay, next would be a mask but i don't have any right now, so we're moving on" you explain to him.

"okay baby" he replies as you grab your serum.

"almost done" you explain to him as you put the serum on his face and gently rub it in.

he places his hands on your waist as you continue to rub it into his face, his eyes on you the whole time.

"okay, does that sting any? if anything i put on your face stings, tell me." you explain to him.

"nothing stings love." he reassures you and you nod slightly before grabbing your eye cream and you put two dots underneath both eyes and gently rub them in, making sure you don't poke him in the eyes.

He notices the way your gently touching his face and he smiles slightly before looking you in the eyes, you returning the look.

"you look cute" you giggle before putting your stuff back into your bag.

"you look pretty, mama" he replies before giving you a kiss on the lips and you feel butterflies form in your stomach.

you return the kiss and he brings his hands higher, near your stomach.

"we can finish this later, nick and matt might need to use the bathroom." he says, cutting you off.

"your right." you reply as you open the bathroom door.

"i genuinely hate getting into peoples business, but what the fuck took you guys so long." nick asks as he stops walking down the hall.

"i was doing his skincare" you reply simply.

he just gives you two a look before continuing to walk.

author:

i feel like the way i write is giving such character ai vibes idk why

master list <3

tags: @mattsneezing @sleepysturnss @readsturniolo @thematthewlover

[ranminfan]

The Dumb Ox

Did you know that nickname was given to Thomas Aquinas by his fellow peers when he was still a student for being a quiet man, and they took it as his low intellect.

Turns out, when you're as smart as him, you get to write one of the most influential works of medieval theology that's still recognized today.

This has always been my initial vibe of this sholar, idk why but I always associate him with a rather stern, intimidating look.

But he was said to be humble and friendly. So don't be fooled with people who look mean, they might actually be the kindest.

[kookyburrowing]

and so now that i have your attention here are the couture looks i think fox would ABSOLUTELY rock. note these are from women’s collections bc a) fuck gender roles and b) men’s fashion is very meh. there’s no drama.

This is look 23 from their spring 2024 collection. despite my bitching about the awkward number of looks, this is a collection I do really like. Sigh. Fox would like this outfit for two reasons. First, the cut would emphasize his shoulders and thus make him more intimidating. Second, it’s very elegant, but not particularly elaborate, making him stand out in a room filled with whatever nonsense the Senate put on today (cough Palpatine cough).

This is look 28 from the same collection. A bit more elaborate, and again shoulders are emphasized. It allows for a more formal setting with retaining freedom of movement.

This is look 15 from FW2019. A lot more elaborate, but easier to hide weapons in and the pants allow for greater flexibility. Also: POCKETS. more importantly: SUBTLE POCKETS. for knives ❤️❤️

This is from Galla Lahav’s spring collection in 2017. I don’t know the exact look number because I found it through pinterest but I think this works for a dinner or something because it’s less outlandish and more practical. (Dinners are usually SIGNIFICANTLY less formal than things like balls and galas btw).

I’m stealing the coat and running. This is from Dior’s Spring 1998 collection, and I love the shawl/cape thing, but the dress? Eh. Not a fan.

Zuhair Murad AGAIN. they really said “let’s serve cunt constantly” tbh. This is look 2 from their FW2022 collection and I have actually used this in writing wherein Fox wears this (or a modified version of this, with knee-high flat heeled boots) to an opera. Sorry I just HATE thigh high boots with a passion.

YET AGAIN. ZUHAIR MURAD. This is very “oh no the Chancellor died! of natural causes im sure” which is why I love it for Fox. he’s got a femme fatale vibe. to me.

I cannot for the life of me remember where I got this one. If someone else could find it it would be HIGHLY appreciated. I like this bc it’s giving a Sith AU and idk man. The concept of Fox becoming a Sith fascinates me.

tagging @sevdalinkas because they said I could and also i genuinely thought i had more than this? alas those were all rtw not couture. SIGH.

[yudrein-aile]

I have reached ch 400 of turning. Kinda obsessed with the difference between the two timelines Kishiyu... Yudrain is like. Young! And doesn't understand politics that well. And there's so much baggage. And meanwhile Yuder is like. 30. He's constantly like "ah these young kids". There's still baggage but he is so much older and experienced and Kishiar responds to that differently than he did + different circumstances (like. Ch 400. Full info not yet revealed). Anyway I came to !!! Because idk who else to !!! At about this

Please !!! here any time, I love hearing your thoughts! sorry you're getting a whole god damn essay reply i had to put a read more.

Yuder is, and continues to be, incredibly harsh on his younger self, especially at the start, some of it is deserved - calling his younger self arrogant and quick to anger - but a lot of it, I think, is also just colored by how much was asked of him vs. how much he could do.

Yuder judges immediately in the first chapter that joining the Cavalry seemed "like a chance for dazzling success and thrilling adventures" as he had not "outgrown his boyishness". In the same paragraph he also judges that he didn't know anything about the intrigues and politics he'd find himself in, "that everything comes with a price, and that he was not well-suited for such pursuits".

In chapter 3 he straight up calls his twenty-year-old self "a poor country bumpkin with a gloomy expression".

So like, the impression we get of twenty-year-old Yuder, to me, is that of a 20 year old kid, who's not really socialized because his grandfather died seven years ago and he's been on his own ever since, and thinks that maybe getting to meet others like him, measuring his powers against them, would be fun.

Generally spekaing, the vibes I got from Yuder is that if he could, he would've done nothing but train all day. He's not interested in leadership, but then he's made Cavalry Commander. In chapter 2, he points out this rise in status himself:

"The previous Yuder had held a great deal of power and influence as the Cavalry commander of the Empire, but now he was nothing more than a young newcomer from the countryside. Who would actually listen to someone like that?"

Think back on the literary lessons - most Cavalry members couldn't even read or write when they joined the Cavalry. Yuder could read, but not really write well. Imagine that, he's twenty, he just learned how to write properly, Kishiar manages to mcfuck himself up during the Red Stone Retrieval Mission and decides "yes, that one will be my successor".

Like to Yuder, even ten years later, it seemed like Kishiar pretty quickly and decisively decided to make Yuder his successor.

Why did Kishiar La Orr pass the position of leader to Yuder at that time? And without any hesitation, as if it had been planned from the beginning.

And it's mentioned at times - a lot more later when Yuder knows what's up - we learn also that Yuder received proper lessons from Kishiar (and Nathan) and probably a whole bunch of other people to prep him for his work as Commander. Because Yuder does do well. The Cavalry is thriving, outpacing every other organization withing years. Sure, he's an interpersonal nightmare, but he did also pay for like parties if it was requested or so. And again, he went from semi literate commoner to Count and, argueably, one of the Emperor's most trusted men. That's insane.

And now in the second timeline, Yuder takes that knowledge with him. He knows what to expect, what he learned by trial and error. Just think about the second gender manifestations that go well. Heck, his own, I'd argue, is his turning (ha) point. The first 150ish chapters really do feel like Yuder's only in survival mode, but after his own second gender manifestation, the thing that IMO definitely fucked up his and Kishiar's relationship in the first timeline (mutual non-con my beloved trope <3), it's like an awakening (sorry full of bad puns today).

And for their relationship in the 2nd timeline!! Kishiar and Nathan both pick up that Yuder's more skilled than he should be. In chapter 17 we have this exchange:

"Nathan." "Yes." After Yuder left, Kishiar, staring at the chilled teacup on the opposite side, opened his mouth. Kishiar's cup was empty, but the one on the other side remained untouched, just as it had been from the start. "What do you think of that guy?" It was an unusual question. Nathan pondered for a moment before answering. "If I hadn't heard of his background beforehand, I would never have guessed he was a commoner." He was unmistakably a commoner, an orphan, barely twenty, yet he did not falter in front of Nathan, let alone in front of the noble duke who was as esteemed as the heavens.

And in chapter 59 we got:

Ever since first meeting him, Nathan Zuckerman had been continually investigating Yuder Aile's background. But just as his lord had predicted, there was nothing to find. His past was impeccably clean.

People regularly are in genuine awe of Kishiar because of the whole sun god thing, and I'd say in the first timeline, while also annoyed with Kishiar, to a degree did treat him according to station before he was made Commander and was even more annoyed with Kishiar.

And now here comes second timeline Yuder who had like. meals with the Emperor and knows Kishiar, to a degree at least.

And Kishiar very much picks up on this. He's got a prodigy on his hands who's not afraid to say what he means - not because of arrogance, but because he's straightfroward and correct. He's fascinated with Yuder to the point of propositioning him to figure out what he's on. (rip to Nathan hope you never learn of this).

Like, man if I have to put it into words, I think 2nd TL Kishiar falls in love because he's fascinated and interested by Yuder and wants to know him wholeheartedly, while for Yuder it hmm feels a lot more like hmm devotion/dedication to an ideal? Which makes Kishiar's genuine joy when he learns a small thing about Yuder a delight to read and vice versa when Yuder realizses why Kishiar acts in a certain way.

Like in 199 we got Kishiar saying , "I was merely asking out of curiosity. Isn't it a natural human tendency to want to know more about a subject of interest?"

(Also love how in 200 Yuder is like "Kishiar is so smart and skilled it's only a question of time until he manages to seduce me" babygirl what the FUCK is that thought process. can't you just say he's hot and charming and you both have a competency kink)

uuh. i think i lost the plot a little replying to your ask but like. yes. i love how the different circumstances shape their experience and attraction to each other,

[seulszn]

Can you do the “24 Hours with” and “beauty secret” thing they do with Vogue but with Y/N and Bella Ramsey. idk why it sounds better in my head. 😭

24 Hours with Y/N and Bella Ramsey | Vogue

Pairing: Bella Ramsey x fem reader

Sypnosis: you and Bella do the 24 hours vlog for vogue

Warnings: N/A

No this is actually a really good idea honestly I will totally LOVE to do the makeup one with Bella I’m gonna have to brainstorm some things tho 😭 also I hope you enjoy this little fic. (This is my first time writing for Bella so give me feedback please 🙏🏾)

“Good morning Vogue Bella Ramsey here with my lovely sleepy girlfriend and this is our 24 hour vlog.” They say leaning on you and stuffing the camera into your face.

“Leave me alone Bella I’m tired” you said pulling the covers up to your face and turning away from them. They only snickers before getting up and walking into the bathroom that is connected to her master bedroom. “It is currently 4 o’clock in the morning and we are in my hometown of Nottingham England.” They say talking into the camera. Bella was so excited about this vlog that they didn’t exactly know if you felt the same way. You came to England with Bella for a little vacation away from home and they had so much stuff planned for you to do.

“Y/N usually wakes up really late but I just won’t allow it this time” He adds as you shuffle into the bathroom with the blanket wrapped around your cold body “it’s too cold Bels” you groan looking at him sitting on a small stool, leaning on her she wraps his hands around your waist. “I’m sorry dear” he whispers before turning their attention back on the camera. “we have a long day today of photo shoots, clothes fittings, etc” they say as you turn to face the camera. “I wanted to stay in for real but he insisted” you say into the camera as Bella rubs your back.

“But why? We should spend as much time with each other as we can before you go back home!” They say looking at you. The thing is you didn’t plan on leaving, you didn’t plan on it you wanted to stay with Bella but you have no clue if she wanted the same. With a small smile on your face you kiss her forehead before getting up. “Fine as long as we can stop by a bakery to pick up some pastries then we are good” you add walking out of the bathroom and over to where you put your suitcases.

“Anything for you dear”

You and Bella have been dating for a little over a year you two met through the show you guys were working on “The Last Of Us” playing as a couple in the show wasn’t easy but it got better as you guys got to know each other. One of the things that was annoying about being a couple was paparazzi they were everywhere they harassed the two of you guys before you guys were a actual oficial “Couple”. But hey that’s what being famous is all about

“Me and Y/N always wear matching outfits when we can” Bella says talking into the camera as you fix your fishnets “the vibe today is cozy yet cute” they say placing the camera down on their vanity table and grabbing a jewelry box from out of a drawer. “Oh look at what Y/N made me for my rings” they say showing the camera a jewelry box you made for him “ain’t it cute?” They add giggling before opening the box and removing the rings they wanna wear. You walk over before stopping behind Bella. “Bels how is my outfit?” You ask trying to get his opinion on a fit you feel is a little to much. He turns around before smiling “You look cute” he squeals grabbing ahold of your hands. You smile at him “are you ready?” You ask as he nods his head.

——

“What kind of pastries do they have?” You ask as you and look at the glass with weird looking dishes “uhh a lot” they say scratching the back of their head trying to think of what to get. “I know that silly I’m asking what is good” you giggle as Bella smiles at you. “Get the scone it’s a all time favorite here” they say before pointing at a pastry with blueberries on it. You nod your head before turning to the cashier “yea I’ll get that” you say as the man nods his head and placing it into a small little oven to heat it up “what are you getting?” You ask Bella as she points to a chocolate croissant. “Well here you two lovebirds go” the cashier says handing you guys the pastries with a smile you had him some money before he stops you “please it’s on me, I’m a huge fan of you” he says as you smile.

“No please I can’t just take it” you say as he shakes his head walking off you turn to Bella as he’s stuffing his face “come on Y/N” she says as you shake your head no not wanting to leave without paying so you just place the amount on the counter as you walk off Bella just stares at you before following after you.

“Is it good” you ask Bella as she nods her head as he pushes it towards your face making you try it “it’s alright I don’t like dark chocolate” you say with a smile as Bella rolls her eyes and whispers something under her breath. Pulling the camera from out of her bag she opens it before recording. “So right now we are on the way to the studio to take pictures to promote the last of us, then after we have to get fitting for some award shows, and then after that it’s dinner with Pedro” they say discussing the day you guys have.

“Dinner with Pedro? Hmm this will be interesting.” You say as Bella laughs at you. Pedro was you two’s biggest supporters he knew that day you and Bella met each other a spark would happen he was your dad’s best friend and ever since he died he has kind of been a little bit overprotective of you he didn’t want anything bad to happen to you but he’s learned to back off a little bit now since you and Bella got together cause he feels like you would be safe in his arms.

“Y/N get comfortable please your so tense.” Your outfit designer Naomi says placing the finishing touches onto your outfit for your photo shoot. “Sorry just a lot going on” you say bitting your nails before a stress ball was placed into your hand “what happened? Fill me in? Was it Bella? DON’T TELL ME YOU GUYS BROKE UP!” Your best friend Sabrina who is also your manager yells gripping your arm.

“What- no we didn’t break up it’s just i don’t know I’m suppose to go back home soon and I don’t want to” you says as Sabrina nods her head scrolling though her phone “I’m guessing you don’t wanna leave her here is that correct?” You nod your head as Naomi groans leaning her head on you in disappointment. “Y/N if you love him why is this even a thing to be stressed about” she adds before poking you accidentally. You yelp before shrugging your shoulders “I mean Bella deserves her personal space and I don’t wanna invade that because I don’t wanna be alone” you stated as the room goes silent. You look over at Sabrina, and Naomi side eyeing you.

“What?”

“Y/N are you hearing yourself?” Sabrina says as you don’t say anything just stare “have you even told Bella how you felt? About moving in with her?” Naomi ask as you space out before shaking your head as Sabrina groans and Naomi face palms herself. “What! I was thinking about telling her…one day hopefully” you say mumbling the last few parts in hope that they didn’t hear you. “Aren’t you guys going out to dinner?” You nod your head as Sabrina claps her hands with a smile on her face. “Good why not ask her then?” She says as you shrug your shoulders once again “I don’t know I don’t-” “Oh My Gosh Y/N stop making up excuses just this once” Naomi says before backing up to look at your outfit.

“You look beautiful dear” Bella says before looking at the camera posing, you smile at the before looking at him “Bella I need to talk to you about something later tonight” you offer as Bella nods her head with a smile on their face. “Sure dear how about at dinner tonight” they offer as you nod your head before turning your attention back onto the camera.

——

“Here we are at a five star restaurant with Mr. Pedro Pascal” your girlfriend says introducing the guest at the table he waves to the camera with a smile on his face. He takes the camera out of Bella’s hand before speaking into it. “What is this for?” He ask looking over at Bella who is looking at a menu. “It’s for vogue” he answers as Pedro nods his head before talking to the camera. You smile at him before pointing at something on the menu “they have Tofu Bella” you say as Bella’s face changes she smiles at you “They have a whole Vegan category right here” you point once again as she squeals.

“Do you know how hard it is to find vegan stuff at restaurants?” Bella answers as you smile at how cute they are. “Oh what would I do without you? Your always looking after me!” He says before grabbing your hand and pressing kisses to it. “So what are you gonna get?” You ask as Bella shrugs her shoulders before glancing at something on the menu. “Wanna share this spaghetti with me?” They ask before turning to you with a smile. You shrug your shoulders “I never had Tofu before” Bella eyes widen at what you said before shaking her head in disbelief “all this time since we have been dating you never once had tofu?” They ask as you look up into space trying to find at least a time you have had it….but nothing is clicking you shake your head. “We have to change that” they say as you giggle.

“You know it’s kind of unfair” Pedro says as you and Bella turn to him with the camera still in his hand. “What’s unfair?” You both say in unison. “You know how come vogue asked you guys to do the 24 hour thing before me!” He grumbles as you and Bella look at each other before laughing “it’s not funny! This is not funny it’s quite unfair actually, why didn’t they ask me huh? Do they think my life is that boring? Well I’ll tell you what my life is actually full with thrill” he says once again you and Bella don’t say anything you just stare at him. “Well maybe you might be the next person they ask” you say as Bella nods her head in agreement. Pedro mumbles something under his breath you roll your eyes “you know I was in shock when they asked us to do it y’know?” Bella confessed.

The waiter walks over with a smile on his face “what can I get the three of you guys today?” He ask as Bella points to his menu with a smile on his face “this Tofu spaghetti-” “with Mushrooms” you add interrupting her ordering Bella glances over at you before looking back at the waiter “with mushrooms, and vegan cheese on top” he adds as the waiter writes it down. He turns to you before you order a shrimp Alfredo but with extra shrimp on the side. The waiter leaves after he gets everyone’s order.

A good twenty minutes go by of everyone talking until Bella interrupts you “So Y/N what did you need to tell me?” Bella says as you stare at them in confusion before remembering. “O-oh yea um I n-need to tell you something” you stutter as Bella nods her head with a big smile on her face and ushering you to go on you start playing with your fingers not knowing what to say. “Come on babe say it I won’t judge you” she reassure you which calms you down slightly. As you open your mouth to say something the waiters comes over with your food “Tofu Spaghetti with mushrooms, Shrimp Alfredo with extra shrimp and your food will be out shortly” the waiter says before leaving to get Pedro’s food.

The night went of with ease Pedro and Bella cracking jokes, you making fun of Pedro, him recording cute moments between the two of you. It almost made you forget what you wanted to ask Bella until Pedro got up to use the restroom the table goes quiet for a few seconds before Bella grabs ahold of your hand.

“W-well you know how we have been together for a while now?” You question as Bella nods their head slightly confused. “Well don’t you think it’s time to take our relationship to the next level?” Bella tilts her head not knowing what you are trying to get at. “Babe what do you mean?”

“I just don’t wanna leave you-” “what do you mean leave me?” Bella says interrupting you, you sigh before grabbing Bella’s other hand “I go back to America in forty eight hours and I don’t wanna continue this long distance relationship anymore” Bella looks at you taking in what you are saying “I love you Bella I really, really do and this has been on my mind all day but I really want us to move in together. You can say no it’s totally fine i would understand one hundred percent if you want your personal space-” Bella stops you before you continued to ramble on and on. “Is that really what has been bothering you? Y/N I wanted to keep this a secret from you but I have been apartment searching since you came here” he reveals as you stare at him.

Really?” you ask as he nods with a smile on his face. Pedro walks back over to the table sitting down as you and Bella continue with your conversation “Aw Bella I love you so much” you say before hugging her and planting kisses all over her face. Pedro looks at the two of you confused but with a smile on his face at the cute little scene in front of him. “Me and Bella are moving in with each other!” You yell excited as Bella laughs at you.

“Fucking finally” Pedro says as you glare at him he snickers before placing the camera into Bella’s hand “if I can help you guys move in it would make my day” he offers as you nod your head turning to Bella with a smile on your face

—

“Me and Y/N are finally moving in with each other” Bella’s says as you nod your head wrapping your arms around his waist and planting kisses onto his shoulders. “It was such a fun day” he says “a long day” you add on as they snicker. “Well vogue this is 24 hours with Bella Ramsey and Y/N L/N and we hope you had a good day with us today until next time!” They say as you both wave at the camera. Bella closes the camera before turning to you “new adventures await m’lady” they stated as you roll your eyes with a smile on your face you honestly can’t wait to spend the rest of your life with her.

I hope you enjoyed this I tried my best with this fic (and I feel as if I rushed the ending) I take criticism so please give me feedback and please request :) orevwa Ⓒ︎ bellaxellie.

[spydergaz]

⋆⭒˚.⋆ not a lot, just forever.

🍂📀🍁

word count : 654

cw: fluff, no actual pronouns used, peter is awkward as hell, idk your vibe, but it’s a good one, peter is a cranberries fan.

a/n: i haven’t properly written something in forever :/ but i’m trying i swear lol. i was also listening to Adrianne Lenker while writing this so that may have influenced this a bit.

the leaves crunch under your converses as you walk, your arms swinging loosely by your sides as you wave your hands in the breeze. you’re walking across campus to your next class, a routine you've grown fond of due to the simplicity of it all. you consider yourself a simple person, you enjoy small things like rocks and the sound of the river that flows under the bridge of your campus.

you’re also noticeably quiet, so much so that your teachers have stopped trying to get you to participate in group discussions. you don’t mind though, you’re content being by yourself.

and so is peter. he’s just as quiet as you, he always has headphones on. you can faintly hear his music, you like the fact that he likes the cranberries, you do too. but he tends to sit away from you, he doesn’t hate you, how could he? the way you skip around campus, the way you collect and paint rocks, the way you sit by the river, the way you’re so freely yourself.

his crush on you is something you’re oblivious too, and he’s too scared to even look at you. he’s read so many books on nature related topics that he might turn into a walking weed, he’s replayed a conversation with you in his head so much he could write a script about it. he wants to ask you to get coffee, he’s seen you sip coffee once or twice, maybe he’ll ask you to see a movie?

he knows you like superheroes, he sees the superman pin on your tote bag. but talking to you seems like his kryptonite, like he’ll die if he tries.

but today he’ll try, he’ll try and push past that fear and talk to you.

~

it’s the afternoon, you’re sitting on a bench and quietly sketching the trees in front of you. your foot lightly tapping on the grass to your music that plays softly in your headphones.

he feels like he’s being creepy, holding flowers for a person who doesn’t even know him. but he sighs and walks up to you, cringing at himself as he taps your shoulder.

“hi uhm, i’m not trying to be creepy but-“ he’s cut off by your eyes peering into his, he feels so small when you look at him with those pretty eyes.

“are those flowers?”

“for you.”

“me..?” you smile as he hands them to you, they’re some sunflowers, they’re fake, but the gesture is nice anyways. “the real ones are super expensive and uh-“

you shake your head and look up at him again. “i get it, it’s okay.” he nervously laughs, mindlessly fidgeting with his fingers.

“could i ask your name?” you reply with your name and he smiles, smiles that you trust him enough already for that. “i’m peter parker, i promise i’m a lot more composed usually.”

you laugh at the self deprecating joke.

“i’ve seen you in class.”

“well i don’t tend to turn invisible, i’ve seen you too. which is why i’m giving you flowers.”

you smile, you appreciate how nice he is and how awkward he is too. “i was- am asking you out by the way, if you’re… interested?” you nod, laughing a bit.

“well don’t laugh at me, i’m trying!” his voice is mockingly whiny as he laughs with you. “but you’re like.. okay with going on a date?” you nod again, stifling your laughter for his sake.

“how does a cafe sound?”

“i like the sound of that, I’m always in a mood for coffee.”

“when do you… wanna go?”

“tomorrow? after class?”

“holy shi- uh- yeah that’s okay.” and with that he stands there awkwardly before clearing his throat and nodding, sighing of relief. “yeah i’ll see you tomorrow! uh, i’ve gotta bounce.” you nod in response and wave him goodbye as he runs off, you can practically hear the smile in his voice.

© spydergaz.tumblr please don't claim my work as your own, copy it, or put it on different websites without my consent. Translations are welcome if you do not post them. ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

[scummy-writes]

Ikemen Tier List

whoaaa two posts together whoaaa (you guys didn't witness me doing this first to see if I had the energy to post a finished drabble today)

I've had trouble with the tier lists for a while because I feel like it didn't explain how I felt about these dudes half of the time, but I figured out a better way to mark the tiers and I feel like this sums it up great. And now you too can have a handy dandy 'How does Scum feel about X?' list! If Roderic had a sprite, I would put him in the daily thing, or maybe the top one? hm

Anyway, I'm gonna explain the tiers under the cut for extra clarifications.

[*Wants to write fanfics for 24/7*] : The Current Main Blorbo. All tremble before him - for he holds the writing braincell and he's all anyone hears about forever and ever - until another blorbo takes his spot (usually takes a few years). You'll see him as icons and photos and and and--------

On my mind daily, in some form: Sometimes these characters will be paired with the #1 chara, and so by extension they're thought about often. Sometimes they're not paired with them, but still thought about often. Despite my posting habits, I do enjoy these guys still. A lot, actually.

Think about a few times a week, offhandedly: Rubs chin. I think of Chev and Elbert as a rare comfort. A type of quiet one that is a plesant encouragement in some way or another. Or I get perplexed thinking about how they'd look ordering shitty coffee. Not much of an inbetween. But really I sometimes just enjoy the quiet comfort thoughts when i need them with those two.

Think about a few times a month: They used to be higher up in the faves, but I either got enough of them at some point (in a good way), friends love them with such glee that i just enjoy watching them simp for them, or they just got naturally shifted down in the line as more characters came into view. I won't talk about them much but I do like em in multiple ways.

Scared to think about (for my wallet): legally not allowed to like because I cannot max out my credit card (a joke). I really really really like Alfons and Victor but I am terrified they'll shoot the ranks in a couple of months, and that my wallet will be screaming to be spared (darius is still up for debate)

Want to like but (and/or for reasons cannot): hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Random simping once a blue moon (idk why): I read a translated story of roger once when sitting in my car on a lunch break. I was reading as I was getting out, and nearly fell into the horn when reading about his cock. It tormented me for a week. This happens ocassionally with the others... maybe not a translated story, but i'll have a random thought that hits me like a bullet train and suddenly I'm stumbling and struggling to think about anything else for a bit. (Leonardo is here as punishment, he knows what he did)

Was Favorite when playing but ghosted game: Ikerev was the first(?) cybird game I played, followed very very closely by ikesen. I don't see a lot of stuff for them naturally on my dash, and bluntly ikerev just could not hold my attention especially after I lost my data and got cockblocked by shitty gacha pulls, but I hardcore simped for these dudes when I played. Well, jonah did get pushed to the bottom of that tier fairly quickly, but Shingen is still #1 there. Anju (oc) was originally made for him, and I suspect that when his...eternal(?) is released in eng, I'll be feral for a little bit and then go back to gil simping.

No opinion really: I just.....shrug. They're neither bad nor good. These are characters who I was either SUPER excited for and then sorely disappointed, characters I haven't felt drawn to, or characters I just....never....felt anything towards...even after reading their route... I'm assuming they're just not my type and that's why they're here.

No: I hold negative opinions due to XYZ personal reason. Or their vibes are just rancid to me. I don't care if others like them or not, I don't judge others for liking them.

[chaotic-orphan]

Found fictional story/novel

So... I have found a fictional novel that I wrote over the last ten years that I had completely forgotten about, and then, once I found it again, I realised there is so much of it - like 90,000 words much of it - and it is a lot to comb through and I kind of shut down mentally when I found it but I am working more now on updates for the WIPS I have on Tumblr!

So you can Expect updates soon in:

Delirious Villain x hero caretaker,

Heroic betrayal,

Intoxicating fear (updates every Saturday) (from now) :)

Vendetta,

and, A Benignant Mischief

which are all started in the drafts!

Updates continued under cut

(*not necessary* to read as it is mostly rambles and ranting about the novel I found (and others), but I want to share some fun revelations I found while skimming it)

There are some whumpy scenes from the novel that I may post as I find them, cause some of them are very whumpy, and I enjoyed reading them~

The plot has a lot of male characters which is both interesting and annoying— interesting because I love the two brothers dynamic, even not even blood related, like two brothers joined together by fate, blood, prophecy etc. Annoying because it’s obvious that I looked at the media I was surrounded with and was like “nobody wants to read about women, if they did, there would be more women centric things” so I’ll write about boys!

Point 2 Contd. (Rant!) Obviously discounting the genre of YA dystopian fiction which was great, and populated by mainly female protagonists, and which I enjoyed, but then, were shit on by the mainstream media because GIRLS CAN’T FIGHT? Girls can’t be the main driving force of a novel? Girls suck, boo girls, unless they’re tom boys or men. Ahem, thank you for your input on teenage girl’s book choices FORTY YEAR OLD WHITE MEN :D WHERE WOULD WE BE WITHOUT YOU

Part 2+3 contd. (the brightside!) However, the good thing about this is that I can populate the rest of the novel with strong female characters! There are a few dotted through who i dote on a bit, I love them, like come here my little beautiful minority <3

The plot centers around two brothers who get torn apart when outlaw's raid in their coastal village - actually, my newest Medieval WIP was inspired by the novel!! Same setting/vibe (as in the coastal village) so very fun

This to say that actually I think the new Medieval WIP is my brain trying to flesh the world out more and see what the average people would do in the world… but it’s a story in its own right too!

There are magic, gods, good gods and bad gods ofc, ancients, bloodlines, descendants, royalty, soldiers, outlaws, magic schools, political intrigue - like it is a mix of everything I have loved over the years which is so funny to see because clearly I haven't changed...

The dialogue?!?!? I don't think I have written like that ever, but the dialogue is so much better than the dialogue I write today and idk why? Maybe because I wrote it off a sudden throng of inspiration or something? But, fuck, how do I write like that again? I mean, without editing, because the amount of editing I had to do to make the novel READABLE wasn't funny, it took so long... it's finished now though, just the editing, NOTHING else - give me strength, I need it

Also, realised that I hate editing - is it something new? Not really, but holy moly... editing sucks, but it also?? Improves the story and fluidity so much, I should start editing my pieces before I publish and come off as far more eloquent than I do

Planning... is also so difficult - 90% of the novel is like this:

Scene X: completed Me: ah, good, that scene is written, I can move on to the next one Me, still staring at Scene X: ...move on now My brain: but what if it happened like this? PROVIDES SEVEN DIFFERENT ALTERNATE ENDINGS TO THE SCENE THAT WEREN'T NECESSARY AND NOW I HAVE TO CUT SO MUCH CRAP BUT MY BRAIN'S STILL LIKE - BUT WHAT IF?

My brain's literally like the writer's brain from Hush, such a good movie... ANYWAYS!!!!

That's the end of all my ramblings for today, was this post necessary? No, but like, I clearly wanted to get it off my chest and vent so we live, laugh, love... I hope all your days are going well :3

~ Orphan,

(P.S. - I'm toying with the idea of dropping my nickname in the bio, or doing a whole overhaul of the blog - the name, the layout... get rid of orphan, or maybe just become "nickname_the orphan", or something. But, see orphans are just so whumpy though I love a good orphan story... thoughts, ideas, waste management? I'm just dunking all my overflow of thoughts on this update today, but sure, look, be grand — I’m truly sorry if you read this far, I am having an ✨episode✨)

[goodgirlofglory]

Don’t worry! I didn’t shut down 😂 and thank you for the follow!!

As for the requests, I don’t want to be a bother, so ill try not to overload your asks. Do you also write stories that don’t have any smut? Because, as much as I love the game of hide the eggplant 🍆 😉 I sometimes really just craze a sweet soft story or something that’s angsty with a happy ending.

Like for example, it’s spring/summer early morning, and Bucky being a trained soldier wakes up with the sun. But his partner on the other hand…. Let’s just say she isn’t a morning person. However, today they wake together and lie in bed all soft and sweet and talk about anything, and maybe they both drift back to sleep… and uhh I just melt

Or… Bucky is new to the tower and does not get along with the newest younger avenger member that everyone loves. And they bicker back and forth, and she is so sassy and witty and one ups him every time. And In the end, they have a big argument and she asks why he hates her so much, when she didn’t even do anything. And Bucky basically confesses that he doesn’t hate her. He actually really likes her and is just scared Bec of what he used to do and who he used to be, and the fact that she’s so young and is the sunshine person of the group, and they talk and share the sweetest first kiss 🥹

OMG DID I SAY TOO MUCH LOL 🫢🫠🫠🫠🫠

I just really love Bucky Bec his story is so sad

Anyways, you’re amazing. I hope you have a good day/night ����🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Bestie!! I have something for you! 🌸💖🌸💖🌸

This is for your first prompt and honestly, idk how I feel about what I did with it🙈 Lmk what you think🫶

As for your second prompt, it made me look up a similar draft for a series I wrote long ago, and now I’m super inspired to continue writing on it!!!!😳🙌 A real enemies to lovers, can’t be in a room for two seconds without snapping at each other, but also desperately attracted to each other with Bucky still being very much traumatised and thinking himself completely unworthy of love and affection and reader wanting so much to get along with him and be his friend and potential bed mate iykwim type vibe!!

UUUUGH, like I said before, these prompts you give are so thought provoking and inspiring. I love them, thank you!!!😍

Hope you're having a splendid day/night, enjoy🫶🦋

Sleeping in / One-shot

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word count: 3,5k

Warnings: fluffy fluff, some angst, a few references to smut

Summary: Bucky never considered sleeping in until you - soft, sweet, precious you - started sleeping in his bed.

Bucky’s eyes shot open at precisely 6 AM like they always did. It was a routine ingrained in his very bones at this point. Whether it came from his years as the Soldat, his military training before that or the hard days of his upbringing, for as long as he could remember, he’d always been wide awake and alert at precisely 6 AM. Nowadays he kept a strict morning routine consisting of a short and non-indulgent breakfast, a ten mile jog, short to the point cold shower and then a crossword puzzle before starting his day. It was like clockwork, and Bucky hadn’t really questioned it, nor had any incentive to change it. That was, until you - soft, sweet, precious you - started sleeping in Bucky’s bed. 

Bucky had been blessed with your intimate company for half a year now. He’d never been so nervous as that night he took you out to the beach to watch the stars after three months of dating, and asked you to go steady with him in the light of the bonfire. Nor had he ever felt such blissful, perfect relief and elation as when you’d thrown your arms around his neck and squealed in his ear. 

“Yes, yes, oh my god, of course I do, Bucky,” you’d exclaimed, damn near rupturing his ear drum. He’d only wrapped his own arms tighter around you and nuzzled into the hollow of your throat, grinning like a dolt against your skin before peppering it with kisses, working his way up to your lips, his heart soaring in his chest. You’d made love for the first time right there in the sand, his cock drawn out of his fly and your panties pulled to the side, clothes awkwardly askew and sand getting everywhere, but it had been absolutely perfect. 

From that point on, It didn’t take long for the two of you to become virtually inseparable, spending meals and nights and whatever spare time you had with each other. Bucky just couldn’t help it, he became completely and ardently addicted to you. Your scent, your warmth, your laughter, the color of your eyes and the way the corners crinkled when you smiled. The way your brows furrowed when you concentrated on something, how fiercely you defended anything you loved or felt empathy for, how sopping wet you got when he teased you just the tiniest bit. 

The two of you loved taking walks together on the grounds, both finding it relaxing and like a much needed detox at the end of a long day. On days off you took longer hikes together in landscapes near and far, sleeping out in the fresh air and making love on mossy forest grounds. 

You both had a special craving for physical connection (or as you liked to say, your “love languages were physical touch”), which in truth was a lucky blessing, for never had someone unlocked such need in Bucky. Need for your warmth, need for your touch, need to hold your hand or your waist or shoulder, or just feel the weight of your feet in his lap on movie nights with the rest of the team. It didn’t need to be sexual either (though it certainly often was, or turned to that) - it was just the knowledge of you being close that soothed whatever aches Bucky had inside, quelled and quieted some fidgety, restless part of him. 

Further, your company and your skin on his had done miracles for his sleepless night. You were like a soothing blanket and a sleeping pill, all in one. Whenever he laid down and pulled you close, felt your hands around his torso and your legs tangle with him, sleep found him easily, which was a feat he hadn’t found in years. You alternated between sleeping in your room or his, but you always slept together whenever you had the chance. In his quiet mind, Bucky liked it best when you slept in his bed. There was just something about seeing you in his room, in his sheets, relaxed and warm and soft with sleep, leaving behind faint traces of your scent on his pillow that Bucky would never admit openly to pressing his nose to and inhaling gratefully whenever you left for your own daily work.

 Inviting you in and seeing you so comfortable and at home in his private, intimate spaces had a newfound emotion spreading in his body. A sweet ache that wasn’t pain, nor sadness, or even longing. He’d scarcely dared put a name to the new feeling that bloomed like the tiniest, most fragile thing in his chest. The feeling was happiness, so foreign and unexpected Bucky had damn near had a panic attack that first time he caught himself gazing at you while you were deeply engrossed in your book next to him, and recognised the feeling for what it was. 

On this Sunday morning, when neither of you had any plans for the day, Bucky opened his eyes to find you snuggled up to him like a koala, legs and arms wrapped tightly around him as you slumbered on, and that same pang of sweet ache hit him as he looked down on you, saw you so relaxed and peaceful in his arms. By God, you were a deep sleeper, and you slept a lot, too. Bucky’d been baffled to observe how fucking much you slept if only given the chance. Proper sloth, he’d tried to tease you once, only for you to stretch with a lazy smile and nuzzle his chest. That had in turn only served to make Bucky’s heart melt right out of his ribcage. You were too cute, damnit, and far too powerful, and Bucky could only clutch you tighter to him. 

Bucky looked down at you, the soft rays of the warm spring sun coming in through the open curtains and casting your beautiful face in a golden sheen, taking his breath away as his gaze flitted about your face, without a single tension, mouth slightly open, quiet, steady puffs of air coming out and fanning across Bucky’s face. He put his nose gently to your throat and breathed you in, pulling in a grateful fill of your mouth watering scent, all warm and heady from your sleep.

He wondered what you were dreaming about, and how long you would sleep like this, undisturbed and unburdened, like you deserved. Did you even know how much of a miracle you’d been to him? How you single handedly fought off his nightmares? Kept him sleeping through the night, not awakening to sheets damp with sweat and an even more exhausted mind than the night before? He suspected you didn’t have a single clue. And maybe he was to blame for that. Cause even though his body had practically leapt at the chance of living in semi-permanent connection with yours no problem, he still had a little ways to go when it came to properly opening up emotionally. With words. God, he hated talking about his feelings, hated how vulnerable and easily wounded he felt, how much he fumbled for the right things to say and the guilt of taking comfort from others when he’d been the cause of so much horrid pain in the past. Whenever he felt the need to get things off his chest, those thoughts would hit him. It wasn’t right to demand people soothe and comfort him, he didn’t deserve it. He needed to own his actions, no matter if Hydra was og wasn’t here anymore. Especially because of that, actually. If he didn’t repent, how would he ever make up for all those people who’d suffered at his hands? 

So no, it was better to just work on it himself, to not burden anyone with it, and especially not a sweet, loving, caring ray of sunshine like you. You deserved so much better. 

Bucky stared at you while his thoughts whirled. He would let you sleep in, he decided, and after bending slightly forward to kiss one of your eyelids as softly as his body could possibly allow him, he started the meticulous procedure of removing his arm from under your neck and extracting himself from the secure cage you’d made around him with your limbs, so he could go start his morning routine. Just when he’d managed to untangle your legs and was about to slip his arm from under your head, your brows crinkled and the most adorable little sound of protest came from you. Sluggish and weakly, you reached for him, still mostly asleep, and tugged at his shoulder and arm to get him back to you. 

Bucky’s heart clenched again, and he huffed a laugh as he let himself be pulled back into your embrace, secretly relishing the feeling of you determinant pulling him close to you, of wanting him close to you. He couldn’t help it, those small reassurances meant so much to him. 

Your eyes opened to slits and looked up at him. 

“Mornin,” he mumbled, feeling himself light up with a sense of excitement at having you awake and with him.

You hummed long and slow, settling down with your head on his chest.

“Mornin, baby, what’s the time?” you asked, and your small, raspy voice was so fucking cute Bucky had a hard time dealing with it, actually.

He didn’t have to look at the clock on the nightstand. 

“Just past six,” he said, still gazing at your sleepy form. 

Your face scrunched up in what could only be described as disgust at his words. 

“What? Whyyyy, Bucky, it’s Sunday,” you whined, and Bucky couldn’t help his grin. 

“Can’t help the way I am,” he said as his only excuse, hoping you didn’t catch on to the way the words reflected his earlier thoughts. 

You stretched like a cat in his arms and snuggled closer to him, pressing a kiss to his throat. 

“I can help you. Settle down, we’re sleeping in today,” you said, eyes closing. It seemed you were halfway back to sleep already, though your grip around Bucky was uncompromising. 

“Is that an order?” Bucky murmured, so stupidly entertained by your every word he just kept grinning, the ache in his chest growing stronger.

“Yes it is, so you better obey me, soldier,” you mumbled. 

Bucky chuckled, watching you drift back off to sleep, but found he couldn’t quite get there himself. He found himself gazing out into the room, mind still going over his worries like a steadily churning maelstrom. Sleep didn’t come easy when he was stuck in a thinking loop like this. It didn’t help that his morning wood was as incessant as always, and you snuggling your warm, soft body up against it only made it worse. That wasn’t that much of an issue, though. He actually, secretly kinda loved just laying like this, feeling how you aroused him and knowing you reciprocated. 

To Bucky’s surprise, he looked back down to find you watching him, having cracked one eye open. He almost started. 

“What’s the matter?” you asked, sounding vaguely concerned. 

Bucky schooled his expression and shook his head. 

“Nothing, sweetheart, go back to sleep,” he said, kissing your forehead and then kissing it again when you hummed contentedly at the gesture. 

Your hand came up and started gently playing with the hair on his chest, something you often did when you were thinking and wondering how to say something. A contemplative gesture Bucky didn’t think you were all that aware of. Not that he’d ever made you aware of it. He liked being able to read your behavioral patterns. Liked it when you were open and honest and comfortable showing him your authentic self. He wouldn’t dream of taking that away and making you self conscious. 

“You sure? You look like you're thinking very hard and not talking about it,” you said and Bucky blanched. Had he been that obvious? Maybe he had some revealing behaviors he wasn’t aware of too. For some reason, it warmed his heart to know you could read him as well as he could read you. That you paid attention. That you cared as much as you did. He took your hand in his and played with your fingers, loved the way his hand engulfed yours, seeing how elegant your bones were while knowing the strength you could pack in a punch. 

He turned your hand over and though he’d only meant to buy himself some time with his exploration, he noticed for the first time a scar on the tip of your ring finger. He brought your finger closer to his eyes and yes indeed, in the shape of a question mark without the dot, the pad of your fingertip was sliced in two by a fine, pale scar line. He ran his thumb over it, suddenly engrossed in this detail he’d missed until now. 

“Where’d you get this?” he asked, curiosity making him giddy while deep down, a furious anger stirred; Anger that promised death and despair upon those who dared hurt you. 

You giggled as he brushed his thumb over it again, squirming slightly in his arms, and Bucky got even more curious. 

“It tickles. And it’s nothing exciting, just a small accident from when I was a kid,” you said, squealing lightly when Bucky brushed his thumb even more gently over the scarred skin, watching you avidly. 

“Tell me,” he said, giving your fingertip peace, but not letting you pull your hand away. 

You gave him a stern look, though you couldn’t hide the smile tugging on your lips.

“Fine, I’ll let you distract me for now, but I want to know what had you looking so forlorn earlier,” you said, the most adorable flush creeping up on your cheekbones as Bucky slowly pulled your hand up to his mouth and kissed each fingertip, noticing with glee how your pupils dilated as you watched his lips caress your skin. 

“Forlorn?” Bucky repeated, settling down even further into the soft mattress and the soft, silky sheets he’d gone out and gotten that first week you started sharing his bed, “I like when you go Shakespeare,” he teased, grinning when you smacked his chest in petulant offense. Bucky pulled you even closer to him and rolled you over so you lay across his chest as he settled on his back. “No, c’mon, tell me,” he insisted. 

You lay there together as the sun rose higher, Bucky listening intently as you told him about the accident that had split your finger tip as a seven year old, and then the stitches you’d have to get sewn while in the ER. Bucky couldn’t help pulling you closer and kissing all over your face when you talked about the praise you’d gotten from the nurses for being so brave. 

“That’s my girl,” he murmured onto the skin below your ear and relished the way you shivered. You gave him that look you got when you were delightfully preening under his praise while at the same time getting just a little bit shy - that look that made Bucky go half-mad with desire. 

“Tell me about this one?” you asked, pointing to a scar that ran along his lower abdomen, a  line that zig zagged diagonally up to his waist. It was one of his more gnarly scars. Thick, ragged and ugly, with darker, blotchy scar tissue, indicating a more serious injury. Not that Bucky knew. 

“Don’t know, I don’t remember how I got them,” he said, finding the words a bit more difficult to get past his throat as he focused on the scar, and the lack of memories accompanying it. 

You looked up at him in surprise. 

“Any of them?” you asked. 

Bucky gave a noncommittal shrug, fighting off his self-consciousness. He didn’t want to get defensive around you, knew he didn’t have to. Hell, you were the one person he knew by now he could be open and honest with. But the lack of knowing was still a sore spot for him.

“I know where the arm went, Steve told me, but the rest is, um…well, mysteries,” he said. 

You blinked, looking a little like a wounded puppy as your fingers traced another scar. You were so empathic, always caring so deeply for others. It was something Bucky admired about you, along with how open you were yourself about your feelings and stuff like that. Bucky drew a steadying breath, gathering his courage. 

“I’m glad I have them,” he said, catching your attention again. Your brow crinkled for the tiniest moment. 

“Why for?” you asked softly, a small, perfect encouragement for him to elaborate. 

Here we go, Bucky thought, a shrill nervousness suddenly swelling inside him.

“I wouldn’t be here today if I didn’t have them,” Bucky said, swallowing thickly. His courage faltered slightly and he averted his eyes, but he forced himself to continue speaking, “They’re a part of the life that led me to this, to…you. I wouldn’t be here with you right now if I didn’t also go through whatever gave me all these scars…and for that, I’m happy,” he said, drawing a mortified breath as he stopped speaking, his heart suddenly pounding in his chest. 

The silence felt like an eternity, and Bucky steeled himself for whatever reaction you might come with. Was it too much? Too weird? Too morbid? 

Your hands cupped his face and brought his eyes up to yours. They were shining with emotion, with empathy so deep he almost winced at the raw intensity. 

“You’re so strong, Bucky. A strong and good man, and so fucking sweet. You didn’t deserve any of your scars, or any of the pain you went through to get here. And I know you feel guilty, and I know there is little I can do to make it alright, but I…,” you trailed off for a beat and to his astonishment, Bucky swore he heard the words love you hang in the air between the two of you. Your heart, which Bucky could feel between your two bodies pressed together, shot up to an alarming speed, and a crimson flush stole across your face. 

You must have seen him catch on, for you lowered your gaze and laughed a bit self deprecatingly. No, no, no, don’t hide, please say them, Bucky thought desperately, his own heart picking up speed, thudding hard in his chest. God, could it be true?

“Is it selfish to say I’m happy you’re here with me too, even though you had to go through so many unfair, horrible things to get here?” you asked, and Bucky wondered if you were feeling guilty too at that moment. 

He hugged you tighter to him, lowering his head to catch your down-cast eyes. 

“I want you to. Be selfish, I mean, ehm, with me,” he said in a surge of bravery that had him fumbling his words all the same. “I mean I like it when you are - I mean, oh God, I -”

“I get what you mean,” you said softly and assuringly, biting your lip and smiling so sweetly Bucky’s heart lurched. 

He bent forward and caught your lips, so fucking grateful for you, for caring, understanding and supporting you. Maybe he didn’t need to hear you say you loved him yet. His heart was soaring in his chest just by the implication, just by having you here in his arms. He could be gracious and continue working to deserve your love in the future, and be completely ready to receive it. 

You broke the kiss and settled down on his chest again, and his hand found your hair, playing with it. 

“I need a haircut,” you said after a few moments, voice just the tiniest bit tense for it to be a nonchalant remark. Who needs a distraction now?, Bucky thought a bit smugly, listening with his enhanced hearing that your heart was still thudding just a little faster than usual. He could be gracious, though it was a near thing. 

“I like your hair like this,” he said, kissing the top of your head, satisfaction surging warm and proud when you tried to snuggle even closer to him, tangling your legs even more with his.

“Oh lord, no it’s all frizzy. I once had a hairdresser -”

You spent some time talking about nothing and everything, the languid morning settling heavy in your bones. Bucky felt like he was floating, like time slowed and you were hiding away together on a cloud of affection and drowsy, peaceful contentment. 

Nestled together in the privacy of his room, Bucky’s thoughts went to the future for once, and not the past. They went to the hope that you would tell him you loved him one day. That he would be ready to receive that love then, and be truly deserving of it. As of now, maybe he could get used to sleeping in, Bucky thought as he listened to you murmuring about a dream you’d had. 

And after a while, when your eyelids had closed entirely and your breath evened out, Bucky drifted back off to sleep with you, still entangled in the soft sheets illuminated by the warm, spring sun. 

[catsburgers]

chat this MIGHT be dialtown! (closeups under the cut!! ft. their songs and why i paired them w/ the ones i did)

randy - today today (jack stauber)

the lyrics fit him heaps and it actually makes me a little sad. i didn't write out the entire verse bc i ran out of space but the full part is

"Today, today, is one of those days That carries you slowly into next time And as folks walk by, you see with your eye "Hold me" is repeatedly given

and by GOD is that him. pathetic sad sopping wet man who just needs a hug please give him one oh my god

norm - chemical overreaction (will wood) (you'll notice a pattern later on)

that song has a very midwest cowboy feel to me (the line "Nettles on my saddle and a badge on my vest" is a very big give away), and yeah he IS a chemical overreaction like.. yeah. the line i picked was just the one that stood out to me the most

"My mouth is dry and my eyes are red I’m chewing on sand ‘cause the desert’s in my head" uhh yeah

typegingi - popipo (lamaze-p)

i honestly couldn't think of a song for them because they are just So. if you asked me to make a playlist it would be full of vocaloid bc i feel like theyd listen to it. it plays 24/7 in their mind

"ぽっぴぽっぴぽっぽっぴっぽ (x11)"

oliver - things to do (alex g)

oliver was someone i struggled with admittedly, i was gonna go for a lemon demon song bc honestly he gives those freak vibes (he IS two trucks and i stand by that) but i feel like things to do fits too. like read the lyrics its so him (or i have a very skewed view of these characters idk sorry)

"Hold on tight to this time, this place cause Everything you know will be erased You were born inside your head and That is where you'll be when you are dead"

karen - willard! (will wood)

please listen to willard! its so her pretty please pls pls plssss. tired bank worker thats so so tired but wants to see the world. plss...

"You know I couldn't hurt a fly, my friend I'm not the type to step on ants I've nearly cried for moths that die at porchlight lamps More for the plights of mice than men See, I myself have been stepped on so many times It's started to feel like my place I've failed to fit in into those nests that scrape the sky Is there room for me in your cage?"

bigfoot

i did his route over a year ago and didnt do it again during my replay sorry bigfoot fans love you :(

EXPLODES I LOVE EXPLAINING THESE

god/hobo - mr capgras

ITS HIM. LIKE IDKK ITS SAUR HIM.

"What you feel and what you do Are those things really you? And if not, then what is? (Never never never) So, my God, what’s wrong with you? And I’m still asking who that is"

roger - i bet on losing dogs (mitski)

hes so mitski coded its insane. we havent got much from the dialtown teaser but we DO have his dsaf personality to go off, and he was a complete mess in that.

"I bet on losing dogs I know they're losing and I'll pay for my place By the ring Where I'll be looking in their eyes when they're down I'll be there on their side I'm losing by their side"

peter - a pearl (mitski)

all dsaf holdovers are mitski coded bc it was born into their body the moment they became a phone guy. once again not much to go off in dialtown and ik he seemed rlly chill in what interaction we had but god he is my fav and you can pry my mitski from my cold dead hands. also yeah i reused his art from my dsaf drawing sorrry i didnt think it was worth it redoing the exact same ref

"It's just that I fell in love with a war Nobody told me it ended And it left a pearl in my head And I roll it around every night"

mayor mingus - everything i wanted (billie eilish) / laplace's angel (will wood)

ok i couldnt pick between these two, theyre so different but so similar

everything i wanted is rlly her, like even the title is so mingus. she's dialtowns mayor, she has everything she wants, except her grandfathers recognition and she'll never get it.

"They called me weak Like I'm not just somebody's daughter Coulda been a nightmare But it felt like they were right there And it feels like yesterday was a year ago But I don't wanna let anybody know"

laplace angel is also her to a lesser degree, the song is about the difference between good and bad, and UGH we know mingus is evil but she's also hurting and thats not an excuse and [explodes]. the little (hurt people? hurt people!) that's officially in the song title is also her. like the term "hurt people hurt people" arehghks. the repeated "if you were in my shoes, you'd walk that mile/you'd see i wear the same size as you" like. shit if ppl were in her shoes WOULD they do the same thing?? probably not!! but she feels like she HAS to do these things and assumes that everyone else would do it too. yk. i love mayor mingus so much

"You, could you take a look at me? (Man no more than animal is made of moral chemicals) Am I bad, am I bad, am I bad, am I really that bad? (Any form mechanical, thank you God) Ooh, whatever you think of me (From the hordes of cannibals, to psych wards of hospitals) If you were in my shoes, you’d see I wear the same size as you (It’s a small world after all) Oh oh right!"

billy - ???

demons dont get songs.

finally

jerry - half decade hangover (will wood)

hes sooo. even the title is him. like yeah he WOULD be hungover on the job if i was jerry id be pounding vodka by the litre. 12 german shepards each with different illnesses. yeah pass me the margarita (i have never had an alcoholic beverage in my life).

"Wonder how I didn’t die This is not my life, I’m no survivor, I only happened to survive Wonder how I sleep at night Well I count pink elephants, blessings, and skeletons"

if you read to the end, thank u so much (and please go seek therapy). if you have any other song suggests lmk in the replies!! but dont tell me songs wont fit i MIGHT cry. these designs r mostly canon but i added my own flair to them (namely typegingis entire design, god/hobo having dog ear antenna (inspired by my own dt oc having cat ear antenna), peters springlock scars, mingus being way more cat then orignally and also making rogers suit just a LITTLE too big for him, showing how he really isnt fit for this position in his job. he'll grow into it eventually <3)

[slytherinshua]

COOKING WITH PRINCE

genre. fluff. crack. warnings. obv this wouldn't happen irl it's all just for fun <3 i tried to emulate prince's captions in his videos as best i could, as well as his overall vibe but i am just a new ghostie so sry if its a bit inaccurate :( pairing. prince x fem!reader. wc. 720. request. requested by @haecien, here: cooking w prince even if he doesn't get the recipe a/n. mwahaha so ofc i had to start writing for ghost9 babies someday and prince was a good place to start esp since his cooking videos are absolutely amazing (go show them a lot of love if you haven't already as well as prince's (and all of ghost9's) instagram!!!) and stan ghost9 obv

you didn’t plan on crashing your boyfriend’s solo baking fest in the practice room on a random tuesday afternoon

you weren’t even used to the prospect of your boyfriend cooking

for the years you’ve been dating Prince, you have done 100% of the baking in the relationship (though you had always urged him to try it out since it was fun)

ever since his videos have been doing better than anyone could have predicted, he’s been excited to make something with whatever he had on his hands

from the usual baking ingredients along with several very overripe bananas, you could easily tell what he was planning to bake today: banana bread, one of your favourites 

but also knowing your boyfriend, you knew things would probably turn into a disaster if he didn’t have a recipe

so naturally the first thing you asked was to see the recipe he was following

“I swear I had one somewhere when I was gathering the ingredients, but I literally can’t find it.”

he just brushed off your concerns about him possibly poisoning himself, you, and the ghost9 members

“The last time I baked, I didn’t even follow the recipe because it was in cups. It’ll be fine, baby, you just need to have faith.”

you were planning to leave and let him film in peace, but your boyfriend was persistent that you stay especially because he was making one of your favourite baked goods

you relented easily, really it was hard to say no to him, plus the prospect of baking together seemed kind of fun!

more like a chaotic disaster…

most of it was spent playfully arguing over how much of each ingredient to put in

Prince seemed insistent that you should remember exactly how much of every ingredient for him to measure down to the gram

obviously, you didn't, and eventually you stopped trying to help completely and just let him do his thing

though you did stay behind him to supervise, and your hands were visible in the final video messing with his hair and occasionally giving him a loving slap tap on the cheek when he messed something up

once the banana bread was finally in the oven, the two of you joked about what the voiceover should be

you didn't have the highest expectations for how it tasted, but you knew it would at least be pretty good

all the things your boyfriend had cooked in the past had been decently delicious

it turned out pretty well, and you were happy you were there to annoy him help him with it

bonus: what I think the voiceover would be like

welcome back to cooking in the practice room 🧑‍🍳 until I get busted by my manager 🚨👮 today we have a very special guest joining us 👀🥁✨my girlfriend✨ that’s right 😍 us idols 🧑‍🎤🎤 are actually in relationships 😘 despite what most people want to believe! tbh my girlfriend was not 🙅‍♂️ supposed to be joining me today 😔 but we’re making banana bread 🍌🍞 which happens to be her favourite 😍‼️ so I just had to let her join 🤷‍♂️ as you probably know if you watched my chocolate stuffed coffee bun 🍫☕ video, I don’t bake… but my girlfriend does 🎉 I had a recipe for this, but I think peter got hungry 😋 and ate it or something, so no recipe 📄🚫 but again, at least I have my girlfriend 💃 so it should be fine, right? she’s made this hundreds 👩‍🏫 of times 🧑‍🍳🍞 (she’s literally a minion guys idk why she loves bananas so much 🍌⁉️) but despite that she is still somehow clueless 🤓 as to how much flour I should be measuring 😍 but it’s fine 👌 we just dumped sugar 🍭 flour ❕ butter 🧈 bananas 🍌 eggs 🥚 and baking powder into a bowl 🥣 and hoped that they would magically ✨🧙 turn into banana bread 🤔 and guess what 🧐 they did ✨😍 I also added chocolate 🍫 because my girlfriend materialized it out of nowhere 💁‍♀️🍫 I have no one but my girlfriend to thank 😚 for distracting me by pulling on my hair 💆‍♂️ and telling me I was doing it wrong every 2 minutes 😘 but jokes 👎 on her because this banana bread was delicious even without a recipe 😏 10/10 would bake again 🥸

↳ ghost9 taglist: @haecien,, @eternalgyu,, @weird-bookworm,,

[melodygatesauthor]

Okay guys, I can't believe it's been a full year since I published the first chapter of my first fanfiction story and I'm still going strong today. - (Side note...it was actually yesterday but I wanted to get all my fics posted to AO3 so I could get an accurate word count and tell you all what I've done so...it took me an extra day)

This is going to be a really long post, and I thank everyone in advance for reading all the way through if you make it. I'm taking a moment to allow myself to talk about my accomplishments over the last year, my goals for this next year, and gas myself up just a bit. As an artist, it's really hard to talk about myself in a positive light without being critical, but I'm going to do it anyway. No one asked, but this is one of the ways I wanna celebrate my ficversary so...I'm gonna do it lol.

My First Fanfic Ever

I'd like to start by sharing my beginnings with writing. If I really think back to the very first fanfiction I wrote, I thought it was a Gorillaz fic (which I still have a handwritten copy of in my closet lol), but it wasn't. I think the very first fanfic I wrote technically was a Pirates of the Caribbean fic when I was 11. I didn't even realize that's what it was, I just knew that I was SO into POTC that I wanted to write about it. It had just come out by the way, so I'm really dating myself. This was...2003.

We had this thing we had to do for school, it was like a writing assignment or something, one of those big ones that they gave you, a standardized whatever. I managed to find a way to spin it into a POTC related thing and I went OFF writing this story. It had its own twists and turns unrelated to POTC, but it was a fanfic through and through.

The Beginning of My Fan Art

When I was 12 I started listening to Good Charlotte, to a point that it was my entire personality. Everyone who knew me, knew I loved them. Every fucking art project I had in middle school (7th and 8th grade) was revolved around this band, particularly Joel Madden.

My love for them has come and gone, but I still remember how I felt at the time (not unlike how I feel toward Oscar Isaac now lol). I mean my art teacher literally had to be like "I want you to branch out, you can't make everything about them." And as an adult, I'm wondering -why the fuck not but- ...I digress.

The First Fanfic I Ever "Published"

When I was 12 (or maybe closer to 13), I became OBSESSED with the Gorillaz. When I say obsessed I mean...I listened to the album Demon Days on repeat until it fucking broke. I changed my G's when I would write by hand to match the G in their logo. I made tons of fan art and it was a damn vibe. This was the first time I really discovered fanfiction and learned what it was.

I remember reading one fanfic from some girl on this website (I'm really dating myself here, some of you will know what site this is...) Quizilla. Quizilla was THE site at the time (other than LiveJournal I think, but I never used LiveJournal and didn't know it existed at the time) for fanfiction and what you would now call "buzzfeed quizzes". This girl's writing inspired me to write my own fanfic, which I handwrote and kept in a green folder which, as I said, I still have to this day sitting in my closet.

My very first fic, and yes at 13, included some romance, some non-con (don't fucking ask me why idk even how I knew about that at 13. I was never exposed to this type of thing as a child fortunately) and other nonsense. I published it on this site, and it made me really happy. I don't remember if anyone ever read it or not tbh, but it will forever hold a place in my heart <3

My Best Friend/Emo Era

I met my best friend in high school when I was about 14. She and I are still close to this day. Not as close, but I can still tell her my most unhinged thoughts and she loves me regardless. We met because we both wrote fanfiction and lost our minds over the fact that we did. Thus started my emo era.

She was into My Chemical Romance, and I was into The Used. 2005 was a time lol. The two of us had either a binder or a composition notebook where we'd handwrite our fics and pass them back and forth between classes. I still have the ones I wrote tucked away in my house. When we'd read them she and I would leave little notes in the margins like we all leave comments today.

Most of these fics never got published, they were just for us to enjoy. I did, however, publish a fic when I was about 15, that I wrote to completion. Quizilla ended up going down, and most of us moved to Mibba.com instead, which is still a website.

Edit: I looked at Mibba, and it looks like the website is still there, but you can't search for anything, so Mibba is gone too. Not gonna lie, broke my nostalgic heart just a bit to see...Some fics I wrote on there will be gone forever. Maybe for the best, but it's still kinda sad.

The Avenged Sevenfold Era

When I tell you that Avenged Sevenfold has been my favorite band since I was 15, I'm dead ass. Are they the best band ever? Not by a long shot, but damn the way I still lose my shit over them is unhinged. Anyone who was around during this time fucking knows...they were fucking HOT. Matt Shadows really had the bulky but not shredded body type going on, they all kinda did, and I'm so here for it.

Why I'll never post any of the fics I wrote during this time, even if I get my hands on them...

I wrote them when I was 15, and I was writing about things 15 year olds shouldn't write about.

You don't know cringe until you've read those fics.

It's about real people and I'm not a fan of rpf anymore. I'm all for writing whatever you want and fiction being fiction but there's something that gives me the ick about real people fiction. No offense to anyone who writes it, that's just my feelings.

The way these guys had a hold on me for the next 5 years was ridiculous. I wrote about them a lot, by hand, on my laptop, however I could. I had so many unhinged ideas and stories it's insane. I loved every minute of it, and I always look back on this as my true start into fanfiction.

The End of an Era

All good things come to an end. After graduation, my best friend and I stayed in touch, but grew apart. I went to college and continued writing fanfic. I was pursuing a major in graphic design with a minor in creative writing. I was convinced that even though I was writing fanfiction, I was going to write a book too and it would be a bestseller.

As time went on, probably when I was about 20 or 21, I kinda stopped writing fanfiction all together. My friend wasn't really writing it anymore, and the community around Avenged Sevenfold was slowing down. I was also in the middle of a breakup and it was a whole thing, so I kinda stopped writing around this time.

I'd also, unfortunately, felt like fanfiction was for kids/teens, so didn't feel the need to continue writing anymore. I didn't want to seem like a loser writing fanfiction in my twenties...so I didn't.

For the record, you're not a loser for writing fanfiction. It's a very valid artform and it's fun. We only live for so long, so enjoy it doing what makes you happy, period. I'll probably be writing in my 50s I fucking hope lol.

Anyway, at that time, that's how I felt. I now know it's bullshit to think that way. So fanfiction fizzled out for me, and I kinda moved on to other things.

My Not-fanfiction Era

What was I doing instead of writing? Going through an emotionally and mentally abusive relationship, working on trying to build what I thought was the 'dream' (marriage, kids, a house, e.t.c.), working and playing video games.

Fortunately that relationship ended. After years of therapy (which he told me I needed because he gaslit me into thinking I was crazy lol), I grew the balls to finally tell him to fuck off and leave. It was the best decision I ever made, especially considering this was JUST before COVID hit. I shudder to this day thinking about the fact that I was almost stuck in a house with that freak during lockdown.

When that relationship ended I moved back to Maine to be with my family. I missed them and had spent basically my entire 20s in another state with some loser.

Back to Fanfiction - Kylo Ren Era

So how did I get back here? How did I get back into writing and creating fan art? The truth is, a switch literally flipped in my brain over this guy right here...

I mean...

The funny thing is, I wasn't SUPER into Star Wars before this. I liked it, I'd seen the sequel trilogy in theaters, but to me it was just a movie series. I was literally watching a Sam Collins video on YouTube where he made fun of a Kylo Ren cosplayer's thirst trap on TikTok and was like...oh that's actually kinda hot.

Thought nothing of it though, just moved on with my day...until I dreamt about him too. And then I felt this spark inside me that I couldn't shake. I literally was like...👀 something is happening here.

So I remembered this feeling from when I was a teen and recognized the impending obsession immediately. I actually googled "is fanfiction still relevant" and "is it ok to write fanfiction as an adult?"

The short answers are - yes - and - of course it is -. This was how I discovered the VERY popular Kylo Ren fic Fix Your Attitude by Kassanovella. I read it in a matter of a week, and in that time I started writing my own fic. I also rewatched ALL the Star Wars movies, and then continued rewatching the sequel trilogy on repeat just so I could get Kylo Ren's character down. I wanted to make sure I captured his voice and personality perfectly. - When I say I watched the sequel trilogy 20 times, it's not an exaggeration, I had it on constantly.-

The fic I wrote was called, Yes, Master

The first chapter of that fic was published on 09/05/2022 (one year ago today), and the last chapter was published on 10/14/2022 with a word count of 100,701. Not only is it the longest fic I've written of all the fics I've done, but it's the one I wrote the fastest. I was posting a chapter a day every day until it was finished. I mean...I literally went OFF on this story. I was so proud of it that I went to lulu.com and made myself a physical copy of it that I intend to read as part of this celebration I'm doing lol.

Wondering if anyone would be interested in me revamping this story (rewriting and updating it) and posting here? I would definitely do it if there was enough interest.

I then wrote a sequel called By Your Side which taught me SO MUCH. Here's what I learned when creating this sequel...

Not everything needs a sequel.

Writing a chapter a day isn't realistic.

I should've planned a full outline before diving into this fic.

I'm not into pregnancy fics/domestic fics all that much as far as longfics go.

It's okay to genuinely dislike something you've written and you should try to learn from that.

By Your Side is still to this day one of my least favorite fics (if not my LEAST favorite). I am still proud of myself for finishing it, (it sits at a hefty 85,599 words). I don't have to love it though. I'm just grateful for what I learned in the process of writing it and proud of myself for finishing it despite being sick of it by chapter 8 and still writing 20 chapters after that.

I also wrote my very first Yandere fic, Just You. It's a bit darker, in my opinion, than The Fractured Moon. This fic was a blast to write, and it felt very freeing to write something so disturbing. It was fun to just let myself get into a dark headspace without holding back and not feeling bad about it. It was more

The Rainbow Six Siege Era

During my time writing for Kylo, I went back to a video game I used to play a lot, Rainbow Six Siege. My Oscar Era bleeds into the Kylo and R6S era a little but I'll talk about that soon.

The Siege fandom was an interesting one...one that I'll probably not go back to much, though I may still write a little fic for it here and there as I feel inspired to. I won't dive too much into this as I know most of you are Oscar fans, but I'll mention my accomplishments here and the things I learned.

I wrote another novel-length fic for this fandom called The Recruit and the Hunter which has another 83,888 words. I actually LOVE this story, and still look back on it fondly. It was a fun one to write, and I really challenged myself to write less smut for it, and I succeeded. It focused heavily on the relationship that built between the main pairing and in my opinion it's one of my better slow-burns I've done.

Why did I leave this fandom?

Well, I'm not going to throw shade, I don't like doing that unless I have to, so I'll keep it brief. The long and the short of it is this...

The readers were getting EXTREMELY demanding. I have comments on RATH of people saying things like "I'm going to be upset if you don't give us a happy ending" and "there better be smut or I swear...". It can get really discouraging as a writer when people seem to say "I love your fic but I'll only continue to love it if you do xyz." It puts us in a dilemma, and makes it hard for us to find a balance between providing fan service, and doing what's fun for us to write. It definitely changed the outcome of RATH and I'm not happy that I gave in like that.

The requests I got were confusing and downright weird. I didn't do some of the really weird ones, and I'm not meaning to kink shame, but it was just very niche things that I couldn't get myself into. I think part of why I felt obligated to provide fan service like I mentioned in the point above, and why I caved and wrote some fanfics for these more unique requests, is because this fandom is very small, and I felt an obligation to provide.

Some of the other writers in the fandom are fucking rude. I'm not going to mention names, like I said, but I had very poor experiences with several writers in the fandom, and since I was also integrating into the Oscar fandom at the time, I could see a stark difference in the way I was being accepted in one, versus the way I was being pushed away in the other. There aren't a lot of x reader writers in the R6S fandom, and I was one of them, and there seems to be some animosity between the people who ship characters, versus the people who write x reader and that's where this mistreatment came from. I don't know, I tried making friends over there, and felt like I was getting pushed out.

So anyway, it's not for me anymore, but I still think back to certain parts of it fondly, and I may write a little more here and there as I see fit.

The Oscar Isaac Era

This really is THE era, isn't it?

As I was working on the last 10 or so chapters of Yes, Master, and after my 12th time rewatching the sequel trilogy movies, I started to fall for Poe Dameron, naturally. How could I not? I mean look at him...

So I decided that I would give Poe a prequel to my Yes, Master story called One Hell of a Pilot. This fic was so fun to write, and it's how I became involved with the Oscar Isaac community in the first place. Immediately I started following Dee, and through her I found Mona, and it was just snowballing from there. Whitney and Romana were some of the first to follow me and my shenanigans.

In December, which is when I started writing One Hell of a Pilot, another novel-length fic that ended with 80,517 words, is when I started reading Dee's fics, along with Mona's and many others. I saw their interactions and felt excited by the prospect of making new friends who were just as into some of this stuff as I was. A place that I could be myself and lose my shit over this idiot and not be judged.

I had no idea what the hell I was getting myself into.

It all started with a fic that Dee had written, I can't remember which one, probably a dbf!Santi fic, and I asked the innocent question of...

What movie is this from?

Oh shit...I didn't realize what the fuck I was getting myself into. After she told me it was Triple Frontier and I should watch it, my brother and I watched it right away. I told him a friend of mine suggested it. The way we spent the entire 1.5 hours laughing at how bad it was is still a memory I hold dear to my heart. I still didn't know at the time that this loser (Oscar my beloved) would hold a place in my heart from that day on.

My first Santi fic was a headcanon about Santi w/ a plussize reader that I called Preciously Plump. A headcanon that later got a full fic, appropriately named Preciously Plump the One-shot.

So then I read something about Moon Knight, and between Dee and Mona shoving me into it (peer pressure ftw) I caved and watched the show.

Phew...

That gave way to the first Moon Knight fic I ever wrote, How Unexpected which came out on January 3rd, 2023 of this year. I was sure that between Steven's adorable nerdy behavior, and Marc's tough exterior, I'd be head over heels for those two. I was nervous to even TOUCH Jake, because I didn't know shit about his character, and the last thing I wanted to do was write a character without it sounding like them.

I was also afraid at the time of writing the Moon Boys with DID because I didn't know anything about it, and I didn't want to misrepresent something like that. After some time went by, I got my bearings, and started working on A Bit Dodgy.

ABD is definitely one of the fics I'm most proud of. I had learned a lot from my past fics I'd written, Yes, Master, e.t.c., and figured out what it was that works best when I'm writing to not only keep myself interested, but to create a good balance between smut for smut's sake, and pushing the story forward.

When I first started writing ABD, I was sure it was going to be a 30-40 chapter fic, but as I started writing it more, I realized quickly that a lot of the chapters were just porn. Is there anything wrong with that? No...but as someone who's written nearly a million words in this past year, I don't feel the need to draw my chaptered fics out with smut just to say I wrote something x chapters or x words wrong.

That's why ABD ended up getting cut down SO MUCH from my original plan. I just made some decisions that I felt maximized the story more and used the smut as a major plot device, rather than the fic revolving around smut as the plot...if that makes any sense lol. I'm happy to say, that as of today, A Bit Dodgy has concluded, though it's the only fic I've ever finished with such a heavy heart.

I was an Oscar stan HARD after that, diving into Sucker Punch and other silly little movies filled with that silly little man whom I love so so much.

Statistics

Numbers aren't important when it comes to kudos (AO3) and likes (Tumblr) so I'm not focusing on those. What I am going to focus on...is my personal accomplishments. Like I said, I don't normally toot my own horn, but I fucking wrote A LOT this year, and I'm going to take a minute to pat myself on the back.

So NOT including my random blurbs (since I'm not bothering to cross-post those)...

My total word count from 09/05/2022-09/05/2023 is (drumroll please):

791,829 words

OH

EM

GEE

I had thought I would've hit a million by now but I am NOT going to complain. By the grace of the horny demon that runs the smut factory in my brain, I've written more than I ever even thought possible.

In the Moon Knight fandom alone, I've written:

238,950 words

I think the only fandom I've written more for is Star Wars, but I'd have to add it all up and I'm not doing that rn haha.

Just kidding it's:

368,566 words

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I wrote 6 novel-length fics, a total of 147 works, MK holds the record for most fics I've written at a whopping 82 fics!

----

It's shocking to look back and see what I've accomplished, and to look forward to seeing what else I can do. I know that this next year I won't have the same word count, probably not even close.

I'm focusing a lot on drawing now as well as writing, plus I'm working on my first novel that I'd like to publish so things will definitely be slowing down. I'm going to continue writing, but the speed at which I churn out fics will be slower in the future.

In Conclusion

Thank you all for the support throughout this year. There's no way in HELL I would've had the drive and desire to continue writing if not for the amazing community (most the Oscar Isaac community lol) behind me. It's not just the kudos and the reblogs, it's the people who I've grown to know since joining the world of fandom.

I never had a ton of IRL friends, and I live alone (happily btw) with my dog. Being able to make some friends here that I genuinely call friends, not just people I know online, has meant the world to me. I would list everyone out, but I have a fear of accidentally forgetting to tag someone despite how much they mean to me so I'll leave it at...those people know who they are.

And to my readers (I hesitate to use the word "fans", that makes it sound so conceited), thank you to the moon and back. Without out, I wouldn't have had the drive to keep going. Kudos, Likes and Reblogs aren't everything, I can't stress that enough, but they do help keep the drive alive. (Particularly the comments). Without the little boost of excitement I get when I see that other people are just excited about what I'm doing as I am, I probably would've given up ages ago.

You all are the reason that this was even possible.

With all that being said, I have a small celebration planned that I'll announce later tonight. In the mean time, stay amazing. You keep supporting me, and I'll keep providing the fics that you all love so much

Love, Melly

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

I love your nuanced takes. They are always a joy to read.

I'd be curious which songs, beatles or solo, do you think they wrote for/about each other and their situation (beatles&solo).

You don't have to go into great detail on them if you don't wanna.

Hope you have a great day. <3

Hi anon :) Glad you enjoy my takes! Hope you have a great day too <3

Preface that while I think this is fun, I really don't generally think songs are a good vehicle to extrapolate about the real life of these people. So, I try not to base my analyses of them as people on these songs, even the ones I feel more strongly about.

I'll categorize these by how certain I am about them (and I'll leave out confirmed stuff like Too Many People, Early 1970, How Do You Sleep?, Run of the Mill, Here Today etc.)

If you have a question re: why some specific song is in this category and not the other I can try to explain, though some of it is admittedly just vibes (and since I try to separate this from the Main Analysis™, I feel okay utilizing the vibes as a justification at times lol) If I left a song off you'd like my take on feel free to ask as well.

Close to positive:

Day Tripper is imho at least partially about Paul. This one feels so obvious to me, given what John said about it and the timeline (written squarely before Paul took LSD, conveniently after the whole LA fiasco), yet I rarely see people talking about it. Sad! It could also be partially about Cynthia.

Tug of War: Paul said it was about John in 1982 but then retconned that. IDK why he did that but. Come on!

I Know (I Know): I nearly put this one a tier lower but the I've Got A Feeling intro and the way it fits in the timeline. The Getting Better reference. It matching up with Paul's description of them tripping together + "share in each other's mind". It's too much.

A compelling case can be made:

In My Life: it makes a lot of sense. But Paul isn't the only likely muse IMO. he might be the most likely one, I'm not sure. I Know (I Know) makes me tend more to it though, admittedly.

3 Legs: yeah. Probably! It's not entirely clear to me what he's expressing outside a feeling of betrayal though.

Oh! Darling: Likely about John, but perhaps actually about the band as a whole.

The Answer's at the End: the way George quoted that same saying when asked about Paul in that live chat… THE IMPLICATIONS! (at least that maybe George came to associate the song with Paul later on?)

Remember: I tend to think this song is specifically about running away from the Beatles. There's more sadness in it, given John references Bring It On Home in the lyrics.

Who Can See It: this one also appears to be about George's general relationship with the Beatles. I don't think this is a hot take but no one talks about this song lol. I love it!

Cafe On The Left Bank: the song referencing Charles de Gaulle making a speech does place this quite firmly in the 60s. It's not really a love song though so I don't get why people consider this one such a win lol. It seems to mostly be about the city of Paris itself.

I like to think it's true but am admittedly not sure:

Call Me Back Again: it's a vague song, really. But damn… those mellotron flutes.

#9 Dream: IDK. this versus "The dream is over". the production-style. I like reading this song as a reconciliation with The Beatles as a concept.

Little Lamb Dragonfly: the whole being haunted by the dragonfly even though you're trying to move on thing :/

No Words: COME ON??????? but the Denny writing credit does puzzle me lol.

Crippled Inside: it would be soooooo devastating @ Paul!!! (probably only partially, possibly also self-directed)

Could have been inspired by the other but not necessarily in the way people think:

Some People Never Know: I do think Paul felt John was cynical in the way he's describing in this song. (I don't really think I Know (I Know) is a response to this song btw)

Silly Love Songs: ditto. He is Not fucking saying "I love you" (romantically) to John in the song he's duetting with his wife lol. but it could be a cheeky lil nod.

We Can Work It Out: I believe Paul when he says this was written about a fight he'd had with Jane. But Paul was also in conflict with John at the time (again, the LSD thing), thus I think that might have in some way informed his outlook when writing this. And John may have been thinking about their conflict while writing his part.

Let Me Roll It: it sounds a lot like John, yeah! but idk about the lyrics.

Look At Me: it could be about Paul, but it could be about the whole world, really. It's more a wish to be seen and understood really.

Dear Boy: I'm annoyed by people insisting Paul is lying when he says the inspiration is Linda's ex-husband. She's co-credited (and she actually isn't credited on every Ram song. I don't think the credit was "handed" to her, at least not at this point in time)! That being said, Paul may have bonded with Linda over feeling unappreciated in their previous life situations.

Yvonne's The One: Look. I think John's death really shifted how Paul felt about telling people he loved them. That may well have influenced the lyrics song. I don't think it's necessarily that literal.

However Absurd: ditto. This song is even more abstract so it feels even less literal.

?????? Who Knows

If I Fell: usually I think no it couldn't possibly. But– (And I don't find that Valentines card very compelling, no. but it's just like: well then who else would this song John called very personal about? I guess, for all I know, it could even be Brian. wow!)

Girl: I mean. Maybe! Sort of. They also said at the time it was about religion, and that makes a lot of sense, but it could still be that the character of the girl was inspired by how John felt about Paul at the time.

I'm So Tired: it seems equally likely to be about Yoko to me.

Don't Let Me Down: ditto. Actually. this one's more likely Just about Yoko tbh.

I'm Losing You: maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaybe. but also. Yoko.

Now And Then: genuinely who knows. this one's admittedly stranger for Yoko but… they did "interrupt" their relationship often, requiring to "start again". Also May is an option.

The Pound Is Sinking: Mostly, I don't know how straightforward it is.

Honestly… Not really

(Just Like) Starting Over: the "My Love", "Another Day", "Wings" thing has never compelled me, based on those being OLD songs by 1980, plus none of the phrasing or word choice is particularly conspicuous to me. But I also don't feel very strongly that it's not about Paul. It could be, though I don't know that I'd assume it was meant as a direct declaration of love then. Also the line before being a reference to Through The Looking Glass is neither here nor there. Since when is John Lennon dropping Lewis Caroll references only reserved for Paul? that feels like putting the cart before the horse, based on one single lyric in Glass Onion.

I've Got A Feeling: I think he's just saying words here, tbh.

Real Love: if it's about Paul that's fucking depressing. But I don't think it is really.

[starliights-shining]

Hello! Could you write some relationship headcanons for IDW Pharma and Sunder (separate) with a human s/o? Btw, nice writing and have a good day!

I tried by best, I don't really know Sunder or Pharma like that, SOOO if it feels a little OC-ish then thats why. ALL I DO KNOW IS THAT for a while and I mean like jsut a few minutes ago, I thought Sunder was a very cute yellow robot, UNTIL I WAS LIKE THEY ASKED FOR PHARMA WITH SUNDER, something isn't right. ANYWAYS, I hope this is what you were expecting and looking for, anyways ENJOY :)

Characters: IDW!Pharma and IDW!Sunder

Pharma

He likes you? like slightly likes you? Likes you little bit? Enough to get his spark going? Noooo it can't be! He's in denial, He doesn't want to believe he has caught feelings for such a small fragile person. He simply just doesn't belive it, and never will.

He's paid off a lot of people to get his way, so his first thought is you've been sent here by someone, to gather info or just be a spy. He is NOT vibing with the Spy S/O.

I feel like he just has far to many trust issues to even think that someone likes him, let alone that he likes you! This causes problems, hands down, the roughest and hardest part of the relationship, will be getting him to actually open up and shii. He'll suspecct you of everything, but then go back on it a bit later, simply because how could he be mad at you, the only person whos ever actually loved him.

He has the same thing I feel like most people have when theyre a docotor and their S/O is another species. HE WANTS TO KNOW MORE ABOUR HUMANS. So i feel like he'd ask a bunch of questions, he'd push you or watch your do somehting and be like, "yes dear, Now how are you feeling?" ya know? He asks all types of things, do you have three stomachs? how long can you run? Do you breath willingly?? Or is it something you HAVE to think about to do? He jsut wants to know.

He doesn't mind you knowing about what he does, unlessssss its during Delphi, he doesn't want you being a part of anything at Delphi. But if its before he won't care or mind, he'll show you different things about Cybertronians and answer any of your questions. He likes knowing youre interested in his people and their anatomy

One more thing about Delphi Pharma, this is the only version of him that will consecutively lie to you, no matter what is happening. He WILL lie, for anything. It does not matter, it'sd just something he'd do.

I feel like he's the kinda of mech to let you sit on his shoulder, or he carries you around on his servo when he's not doing anything important.

He enjoys your touch, really enjoys your touch. I love the idea of just the warmth of your hands are what drags him in soooo thats what we're going with. He likes being able jsut to feel that warmth and the weight of you. It somehting he never gets tired of, sooo he often has you taking naps on him.

He just gives guy vibes, like he's here and does his job and then delphi hits and everything goes down hill for him. SOOO he's just a normal person in a relationship, hes touchy but careful, he loves you but also doesn't belive you actually like him back. He has no traits that are like THIS ONE IS CRAZYYYY, not like Sunder, Overlord, or Trepan at least.

Sunder

THE LAST MF ANYONE WAS EXPECTING TO GET INTO A RELATIONSHIP

Since he's like uhh idk crazyyy, He doesn't know what a normal relationship is like, escpecailly since youre human. SO I want it to be known he doesn't do normal things

His "Bonding" time is just staring at you. Optics wide and empty as he studies every inch and mucsle on your body.

NO TOUCHY TOUCHY, I feel like he freaks out over being touched. If its really early in the relationship he's just like no, nope, not today, but if its late he's okay with the occasional hand resting on him when youre talking to him. Just so you can get your point across. He may not be big on it, but he does slightly enjoy the warmth form your hands. PLUS he remembers everytime you've ever touched him, so it works out in the end

Since he like worked with memorys and all, I feel like the right thing to say is he'd fuck with your memories, but I just don't think he'd do that to his S/O. I feel like since youre different, he's fascinated with your brain and memories. He has datapads on datapads about your life, your memories, the way your brain works. He loves when you tell him newer stories, or when you have one of those "this reminds me of" moments. HE'D STOP EVERYTHING JUST TO HEAR YOU.

He has strong ass urges to do the things he's done to other on you, just so he can see what's going on in your small fragile brain. He gives those vibes of always wanting to know what someones thinking, he just has to know if you thinking about him, or a memory you hold dear, or if youre thinking about somone else, He just HAS to know!!

I feel like he would lie to you, LISTENNNNN LISTENNN. He'd do it jsut to keep you away form whatever he's doing, Meetings with primus knows who, nah I'm just going for a session, ill be back. Killing someone, nope just meetin with some old friends. He DOES NOT want you knowing what he's doing, he likes the perfect little image you have of him in your head, so why shatter it now.

Okay, one more! He can get very yandere like. If you're with someone he doesn't like or he knows they are not good or have good intentions. SOOO WITH ALL THIS OTHER STUFF, I'm giving him basic yandere traits, He loves you dearly, so don't screw this up, He doesn't have his entire life to spare for you, even if he wanted too.