#again i can't do an entire case study on this man

[i-drop-level-one-loot]

*NSFW* How to train your pet Human pt. 3 (Yandere!Alien x GN!Reader)

CW: Dub-con, mild psychological distress, mind break, dead dove fic

Part 1, part 2

Kirtch slumped over his friend's standing chair, miserable and mopey.

A tall creature, taller than even Kirtch, sighed dramatically, sauntering around their depressed friend with a smaller horned being crawling behind them.

"I don't understand what I'm doing wrong." Kirtch whined pathetically in Jaudna's native tongue. Jaudna made a gurgling sound with the soft spot on their head, the closest human equivalent being someone rolling their eyes. They sprawled across their lounging seat, motioning for their pet to stay on his knees.

"I'll tell you exactly what you've done wrong. You pampered them too much."

"I punish them!"

"You punished them for their escape attempt. That was it. You've allowed your pet to test your authority in plenty of ways after that."

The man on his knees pleaded with his eyes to be let up, but stayed perfectly still, like he wasn't alive. Kirtch noted Jaudna's pet's demeanor with discomfort. That discomfort only lasted until he imagined (Reader) in that same position, looking up at him with their large dewy eyes, waiting so patiently to be held by him... his discomfort was replaced by jealousy.

"You don't understand, (Reader's) such a sweet little pet, and whenever they struggle they're so cute about it. I just can't understand why they aren't happy."

"Humans' minds are incredibly flawed. According to the few psychological texts I have gotten my claws on over the years, their memory is not set in stone like ours, it is fickle and easily manipulated. One of my books referenced a case in the nation called 'The United States of America' where nearly the entire country fell into panic over an imaginary evil, because a few doctors used a phoney science called 'hypnotism', a practice they believed could help recover forgotten memories, on a bunch of children, but accidentally implanted false memories of abuse, leaving the children traumatized, believing that they had been victims of a horrific occult."

Kirtch looked to his good friend nervously. "Are you implying I do something nefarious to my pet's mind?"

"No, I'm showcasing an example of how stupidly easy it should be to train your pet to love you." They tossed a book into Kirtch's hands, the cover printed with a photograph of a wild looking man, with fluffy hair and dark, hateful eyes. "Hypnotism isn't the only creative way humans have learned to reprogram each other."

Kirtch almost threw the book back, but saw Jaudna's unnamed pet still sitting so patiently for his master, and the pain in his body where his heart may have been throbbed again. "Thank you.. Jaudna."

(Reader) had waited for what they assumed to be well over an Earth day, alone in Kirtch's quarters, waiting for his return. The only company they received were the employees who brought their meals, speaking down at them in a language they didn't know, but could understand the disgust. It had been over a month since their fight with Kirtch. Every day since had been nothing but hell, feeling like their heart had been ripped out, they laid in their bed cage, only moving when necessary, allowing themselves to hide away inside their own mind.

The main door opened again, and (Reader) could hear Kirtch's long, graceful steps as he passed through the study and into the bedroom. "(Reader)? Are you still in bed?"

In an act of defiance, (Reader) kept their mouth shut, pulling the blanket tighter around their shoulders. But it was of little use, as Kirtch easily lifted their purposefully dead weighted body out of the bed.

"I'm sorry I was gone for so long, pet, but I had to see an old friend for advice." He carried (Reader) back to his desk, sitting them in his lap, fighting to hold them upright as they flopped about limply. "(Reader), please sit up so I can take off your shirt."

He began working on the wrists, the intricate metal cuffs with multiple buttons that almost acted like locks, and (Reader) subtly straightened their back to give him better access to the neck corset thing, thankful to finally have it off for a couple hours at least. (Reader) had grown to find it somewhat elegant the past few months, but it still was an incredible pain in the ass.

Feeling the air on their neck was bliss, and (Reader) immediately ran their fingers over their skin. (Reader) breathed a deep sigh, relaxing their body unintentionally. But almost as soon as their hands left their throat, a new collar was latched into place, a loud mechanism clicking as it tightened, stabbing the back of their neck with what felt like a fixed needle.

(Reader) cried out in pain, sprawling out their limbs on reflex, pushing themselves out of Kirtch's embrace and onto the floor, lying naked on their knees as they clawed at the collar, desperate to relieve the pain.

"What?? Why?" Their voice was barely audible through their sobs.

"I'm so sorry my pet, the pain will end soon, wait-" Kirtch pushed a button on what looked like a remote, and (Reader) could physically feel the rush of liquid enter their body, then the pain lightened, leaving (Reader) almost euphoric in it's absence.

"What is this? Why did you do this?" Betrayal laced their tone, and Kirtch looked almost on the verge of tears, but he stood still, refusing his urge to scoop up his little pet and beg for forgiveness.

"I know now that I didn't train you correctly, and for that I am sorry. I've given you too much leeway, and that is why you've been so unhappy." He took a ragged breath, thumbing the controller as he thought out his words. "I didn't want to do this, but I care about your happiness. This is for the best."

"So you put a shock collar on me?" (Reader) asked incredulously, spitting venom.

"No, nothing barbaric like that!" Kirtch looked hurt, flinching as he almost dropped onto his knees to comfort (Reader). "I just need to convince you that you're happy here with me, just as I did the first night you were here, to help you release your stress."

(Reader) remembered the shot he gave them, that first night when Kirtch used a toy to get them off, the hormones he artificially added to their body to make them feel pleasure, and then thought about the pain in the back of their neck. The color drained from their face. There were only two options; plead or double down.

"You can manipulate me all you like, I'll never be happy here." A tear escaped as (Reader) transformed their hurt into anger. "I deserve someone who will love me, not as a pet, but as an equal. Because I am a human fucking being. And we have partnerships. We don't jack off our pets, we do not love our pets like we love the people we have sex with, because that- that is not okay! Why did you.." (Reader) couldn't stop themselves from crying, looking up to try to at least slow the waterworks.

The silence between them was loud. (Reader) turned away, wiping away their snot with their bare arms.

"Pet, noun; a domestic or tamed animal kept for companionship or pleasure. Adjective; denoting a thing that one devotes special attention to or feels particularly strongly about." (Reader) looked up, horrified. "Your's may not be my first language, but I feel I had a pretty decent grasp on my understanding of what a pet is."

Kirtch placed a hand over his face to hide his expression.

"You'll be happier once this is all over. I promise."

"You son of a-!" (Reader) couldn't finish their sentence, more fluid passed into their spine, followed by an immediate sense of emptiness. Extreme anxiety flooded their body, causing severe stomach pain almost instantly. They collapsed, holding onto their midsection, their bare skin clammy. "What? Why?"

"No more talking back to me, pet." Kirtch kept his voice steady.

(Reader) cried out, rapidly becoming exhausted from heavy nothingness filling their body. "Please.. stop.."

Kirtch nodded, appearing relieved. He pushed another button, and the emptiness ebbed away, leaving (Reader) numb.

"I don't understand why you're doing this." (Reader) weakly grumbled, too tired to pick themselves up.

"Because I want you to be happy."

"I'll never be happy with you."

"Why?"

"Because! I deserve to be loved!"

"I love you-"

"Fucking liar." (Reader) snarled, knowing that this would cause them to be punished again, but needing to get in the last word. Kirtch looked so miserable, so crushed by (Reader's) words, but they felt vindicated by his pain. They needed to twist the knife deeper.

He smiled, so sadly, and grabbed a blanket, bending onto one knee as he covered his pet. "I love you, (Reader)."

Their heart clenched, and their face flushed. Immediately they searched his hands for the remote. "S-stop that."

"I love you."

Chemicals pumped into their neck, making (Reader) feverish and causing their thighs to ache. Their breath hitched, and tears of betrayal escaped. "I hate you."

"I know."

More pain gripped their throat, regret causing physical discomfort. "Why are you doing this?"

His smooth shelled fingers caressed their jaw, tenderly cradling (Reader's) face as though he needed them. Kirtch's touch sent shivers across (Reader's) skin, and they couldn't tell if it was because of the collar or their loneliness, but they wanted to pull him closer, make him touch them more.

"I will live for much longer than you. I will watch you grown old, and die. Even then, I will still love you. You are the most incredible creature I've ever met. I don't mind if you push me away, and slap at me. I just want you to be happy, at least most of the time." His head grew closer, his hardened face almost brushing (Reader's). "Let me make you happy."

'I need to fight back. Make him pay! I'm practically a slave! He bought me! I'll never see my family again because of him!'

(Reader) leaned forward, mind melting through their ears from the intense heat, and smashed their lips onto where his should have been.

All rational thoughts were drowned out by the intense need. They needed him, his love. (Reader) was aware of the sound of buttons clicking, but they couldn't stop, crawling onto Kirtch's body, feeling the edges of his joints scraping their back as his hands hungrily roamed their body, wanting to touch everything.

They would have felt ashamed, knowing how aroused they were, their exposed body touching Kirtch's stomach. Sweat was clinging to (Reader's) skin, and their eyes drooped stupidly. The only thing they could think of was relieving themselves, and wanting to see Kirtch relieved as well.

"Are you going to fuck me?" (Reader) whined between wet kisses, drunk on his touches.

"I will, if you want me to."

Their mood shifted, frustration beginning to surface again. "No. If you love me, wouldn't you want me?"

Kirtch sighed, fiddling with the remote behind (Reader's) back. "I do not have the same nervous system as humans do. We only engage in sexual acts for the purpose of procreation."

Shame shocked (Reader), sobering them up instantly. "Oh. I- I am so sorry." (Reader) moved to get off of Kirtch, but was held in place by the much stronger being.

"I will, to make you happy."

"No, I'm sorry! It won't make me happy knowing you aren't feeling good. I'm-I'm sorry, please let me go."

Kirtch pressed the button again, watching his pet's face darken and their mouth go from frightened to slack jawed. "Knowing you are feeling pleasure, from me, and only me, will bring me more joy than I can express." His cloak was ripped away, revealing his gorgeously colored exoskeleton. Kirtch gripped (Reader's) face tighter, forcing his blue tongue deep into their mouth, bursting with pride at the sounds (Reader) was making.

"What do you want me to do?" Kirtch asked, not intending on sounding like he was teasing them, but Kirtch craved the sound of their voice begging him.

"Please.." (Reader) swallowed their drool, feeling the hormones pumping into their brain, but too horny to care. "Please fuck me."

The spot on his pelvis where a human's genitals would be split open and a long, slimy cock revealed itself, growing behind (Reader's) back to a horrifying size. (Reader) only became aware of his erection when it fell forward, slapping against (Reader's) ass and lower back. In their intoxicated state, they turned back to look at what had suddenly touched them, and their eyes grew large in surprise. "Is that..? That's too big..."

Off balance and tipsy, (Reader) turned around, still sitting on Kirtch's abdomen, so that they were facing his exposed dick, and touched it experimentally. It was ridiculously huge, but because of the hormones being injected into (Reader's) neck, they were ravenous, using both hands to pump up and down on the shaft as they stuck the thin tipped head into their mouth, tasting Kirtch passionately. Kirtch was beyond elated, watching his precious pet so needy for him.

Kirtch picked (Reader) up, moaning at the popping sound as he pulled their mouth away from his body, seeing nothing but love in (Reader's) eyes as he spun them back to face him, and slowly began lowering (Reader) onto his naturally lubricated member. "Keep looking at me."

(Reader's) mind was hazy, and it felt like they were about to die, saliva and alien fluids leaking out their mouth and down their chin. Their internal voice had gone silent, the amount of tampering that had been done to their brain left (Reader) devoid of rational thought and intellect. "Yes sir." They barely got the words out as Kirtch entered their body, sliding into their needy little hole easily and without resistance, ramming himself in so their pelvis smacked into his shell with a wet plop, bringing (Reader) to a climax just from entering.

"Smile for me, pet." Kirtch cooed joyfully, loving how (Reader's) body spasmed, before slowly lifting them up, revealing the trail of their combined wetness stretching between their reproductive organs.

(Reader) smiled, reacting on autopilot as they rode out their orgasm, practically biting off their tongue when their sensitive body connected with Kirtch's again. "Ahhh, I already came! Stop!!" Their words cried for relief, however their voice and smile demanded more. It was too much, and (Reader) did want a break, but it also felt amazing, and that dirty little part of themselves that was desperate for love needed their body to be abused.

Kirtch bounced (Reader) on his cock, fucking them like a toy, regretting that he didn't have a camera rolling to capture just how adorable his pet was in his hands. "Look at how happy you are, pet! Don't you want to be this happy all the time? Don't you always want to be happy, with me?"

Kirtch greedily pushed the button again, peppering (Reader) with kisses as they came again, their sticky juices splattering on his stomach. The squelching sound of (Reader's) bruising body getting fucked by the hard as steel monster beneath them was music to Kirtch's ears. He had, embarrassingly, read the book his friend had lent him, and knew now how humans used pleasure to keep brainwashed people by their side. But it wasn't just pleasure, it was that feeling of connection. He had thought about what (Reader) had said, that humans don't jack off their pets, and that made sense, for animals that did not share the same level of intelligence as an adult human. What (Reader) needed, was to feel equal, to feel like they weren't just a pet, but a partner. So how would they feel, if Kirtch ejaculated so deep into their body they were still excreting his cum weeks later?

"I'm going to mark you as mine, (Reader)." It was a lie, his species did no such thing, but the look of unbridled joy on (Reader's) cross eyed face, the loopy smile that twitched as tears poured down to their chest, was a sight that made it worth lying.

"Are you cumming? Are you cumming in me?" (Reader) slurred, barely holding themselves upright in Kirtch's grasp.

"If you promise to be a good little pet." Kirtch could hold out for as long as needed. His species did not have sex for pleasure, so there was no sense of urgency when they needed to release. He could have continued going for hours, if he hadn't overdone it with the collar. (Reader) was on the verge of passing out.

"I promise! I promise to be a good pet! I promise!" (Reader) exclaimed, colliding their lips back onto Kirtch's as a string of hot sperm shot up into (Reader's) body, a fluid so thick it was practically glue, leaving (Reader) feeling physically full. Kirtch couldn't help but push the button again, seeing his pet overflow with adoration for him.

"I love you, (Reader), I really really do."

Kirtch whispered sweet nothing's into his pet's ear as they passed out, then carried them to his bed, tucking in their swollen body, not minding the mess. (Reader) really was the most beautiful and adorable little pet in the entire universe. He doubt that he would ever get another pet after (Reader) was gone. He sat on the floor, rubbing circles into their tear stained cheeks, smiling contently.

Of course, the next day Kirtch would have to use the collar, showing (Reader) how bad they truly felt inside when they refused to get out of bed, and while it was awful making them cry when they tried to refuse to eat, it was for the best. Kirtch knew it wouldn't take long for (Reader) to graduate from needing their collar, and that soon they would always be by his side, begging him to pick them up and play with them. It didn't matter whether (Reader) needed cuddles or needed to be filled with his seed, Kirtch would overuse that remote until they desired his touch all the time.

He didn't mind the glassy, doll like glaze to their eyes, the change in their speech, the way they began crying whenever it looked like Kirtch was unhappy, or how they stopped pushing him away. After months of flushing their system with artificial love, Kirtch knew that his pet was happy with him. And that was all that mattered.

[navstuffs]

Project L.S.K.

Pairing: Re4!Leon Kennedy x ScientistGN!Reader

Summary: After Spain, the U.S. government decides Leon Kennedy is too precious to be wasted, so they start a project with you as the leader. (aka the fanfic where you have to collect semen from Leon)

Warning tags: SMUT SO MINORS DNI, slight DUBCON, handjob, subby!leon, cum collecting, dirty talking, needy!leon, bit of exhibitionist!leon

Author's Notes: heey. this isn't what i normally write since i am not a fan of dubcon/noncon, but my husband had the idea and i opened an exception. enjoy your reading!

leon's masterlist

This is probably wrong. Ethically wrong and immoral in so many ways. Having your hands down in the pants of your object of study was clearly not how you decided to make your Saturday about….or was it? The task given by your superiors was clear as day: “Collect Leon fluids. We want blood and all the fluids you can get.”

They really meant it all fluids.

So, as the head scientist of Project L.S.K, you empty the laboratory the day Leon is supposed to come. Just you and him. Not that you have a crush or anything (that would be extremely inappropriate), but meeting the man in person for the first time and having to collect his semen, you wanted him as comfortable as he could be, and with a laboratory full of other scientists examining him wouldn’t help.

Leon was polite enough, shaking your hand. Deep down, Agent Kennedy knows you are just doing your job and just want to get it done and over with. How can you blame him? You lead him to a small room with an exam table, a comfortable armchair, and a regular table with a chair on the other side. There are no windows, for Leon’s relief. Leon turns around as you hand him the specimen cup with his name and date printed. 

Leon waits for you to leave the room, but you close the door after you and sit in the chair behind the table. Leon blinks, and you give him an apologetic smile.

"Sorry. They require me to stay in case you try to fake the test. It will be like I am not even here, I promise.”

Fantastic, Leon thinks. He drops into the armchair, cursing himself for not suspecting that before. Again, you were just doing your job. All he has to do now is cum in a damn tiny cup. It shouldn't be that hard: Leon can't remember the last time he pleasured himself. So easy peasy.

Ten minutes pass. Leon tries really hard: Guiding his hand inside his pants without pulling his cock entirely out, Leon strokes himself, closing his eyes. He doesn't even know what to imagine, conscious of your presence in the room. He just wants to get done with it.

Obviously, he can’t.

He sighs, frustrated, louder than he should, attracting your attention. If it was purposeful or not, it didn't matter. You pull your eyes up from whatever you are reading, crossing your sight with the vulnerable, pink-faced Agent Kennedy. A few strains of his hair have fallen over his face. You open your mouth and close it before clearing your throat. Now, it is not time to have impure thoughts.

"We have a fleshlight if you need it." Your interjection seems to get him by surprise, hitting him like lightning. Leon pulls his hands out of his pants as if they were electrified, his eyes wide. He looks at you, mouth agape and hair over his face. You look away, embarrassed. Great way to make Leon comfortable.

Before you can even apologize, Leon’s voice confesses low and apologetic.

“I have never done it with someone watching me before…”

Well, crap. The weight of that confession raises the temperature in the room, and suddenly, you feel warm. Mainly by the way Leon is staring at you: vulnerable, pleading for some sort of comfort. Anything you could give him. Your hand closes in a fist as the rational part of your body screams for you to not do it. You could lose your job. But those blue eyes are begging for the release only you could give.

The question comes from your mouth because you are trying to help him. After all, it’s for science, and your superiors didn’t want Leon cheating on the exam, right? What better way to ensure than to do it yourself?

“Do you need help?”

Leon takes a long time to answer, so long you think he will deny you. But he gives you a slight nod, looking down, embarrassed. You pick up your chair, placing it at his side. His body is tense, and Leon doesn’t look up when you sit near him, hands waiting on your lap.

“This wouldn’t put you in any trouble, right?” Leon wonders. You shake your head, finding it adorable that he worries for you. You barely know each other.

“No. I will be fine.” Honestly, you didn't even care if this would put you in trouble at this point.

Leon relaxes under you, and you have the vision of the Rookie who survived the Raccoon City outbreak. He seems unsure of himself, innocent almost, with barely any experience. You lunge forward, your hands on his thighs, not moving. 

“I am fine, really. You can go. I haven’t done this in a long time. Hopefully, it means I will finish fast."

You nod, trying to ignore the pressure that gives you. You pull his pants down slowly. Leon raises his hips slightly so the pants drop further, his eyes going down to his lap where you can see the very tip of his cock on his black underwear. You try not to laugh or say it is cute, like a peeking bird. You don’t immediately touch it, focusing on massaging the upper part of his tights in circles to get Leon to relax.

"Is this fine?" You want him to be completely comfortable.

"Yes." Leon trembles. Either the cold or your touch. Or both. You wonder when was the last time he had someone to care for him like that.

“Close your eyes now. I want you to relax.”

He follows your command, relaxing against the armchair. Slowly, his shoulders fall, and his forehead furrow is gone. For some reason (that you thank), Leon seems to trust you enough for you to do this. Your hand goes to your jacket pocket, finding a lube, especially for male masturbation. You thought Leon might need some of that and would have offered for him to use on himself, but oh well. You coat your hand with the gel and gently rub it on Leon’s cock tip. His surprise whimper and how he immediately opens his legs for you tell you are doing something right.

You want to ask him if he liked that but bite your mouth. You gently pull his cock out of his underwear and slowly squeeze his length up and down with your lubed hand, wanting Leon to feel good. This is clearly not about the test anymore for you. Leon seems to bite his lips, trying to contain another moan.

“No need to be ashamed. It is just you and me here, Leon. Let it out all.” Leon’s cock twitches in your hands in response, and you wonder how much Agent Kennedy enjoys dirty talk. Maybe you should try more? For science.

“You seem to really enjoy this. I didn’t know you were an exhibitionist. Imagine if we got caught right here, right now, in how much trouble we would be.” You attempt again, watching Leon’s cock. It certainly seems to answer your stimulus, pre-cum leaking from his cock.

Your other hand, coated in lube, starts squeezing with his balls. Leon’s hands grab the side of the armchair, his knuckles turning white. You can feel wetness in the middle of your legs, and you ignore it focusing on working his cock harder and faster.

“You are doing so well, Leon.” 

“Please…” Leon’s low whimper makes you fall out of your chair. 

Your body is sweating now, but in no way like Leon’s, with his hair sticking in his forehead. He still doesn’t look at you (better that way), his chest raising up and down with deep breaths. He isn’t biting his lip anymore, letting out a “more” or “fuck” between quick breaths. His hips move against your hand, trying to find more friction.

“Please, what?"

“Please, let me cum.”

You look for the specimen cup, your hand leaving his balls, and focus on jerking his cock. You rub the head of his cock in circles, spreading more of his pre-cum around, and Leon's back flinches from the armchair. He is close, and you can feel it. You stop for a moment to open the specimen cup before leaning forward, close enough so you are near Leon’s ear.

“You did so good, Leon. All you have to do is cum for me now, give me all you can.” 

Leon lets out a weak “I am cumming,” and you focus on directing his cock toward the cup. He fills over half of the cup before dropping into the chair, exhausted. You close the lid, ignoring your desire to kiss his parted lips, before getting up from the chair to get some towels and water. 

Leon already has his dick tucked inside his underwear when you get back. He accepts your towel, murmuring thanks, his eyes again not meeting yours. You give him a water bottle, and Leon gets up from the chair, pulling his pants up.

It is over, you think, a tiny hint of sadness and disappointment inside your heart. Leon doesn’t owe you anything, you know that. You are grateful to be able to have made this afternoon less miserable. You joke when he finally faces you, trying to lighten the mood.

“Fifty dollars at the table.” His eyebrows arch in question, and you shake your head. “Never mind.”

He grabs your arm gently before you can walk toward the exit door. You look back to Leon, who seems to be debating choosing his words carefully.

“This shouldn’t be the last time we see each other, right?” An idea flares up in your head.

“No. The government will probably need more. I will especially supervise those collections if you allow me.”

“I wouldn’t ask for anyone else.”

You couldn’t agree more. For science.

[undiscovered-horizon]

[When the curse activity rises around the country, you reluctantly return to the school to help the sorcerers. Gojo Satoru seizes the opportunity to plead the case of his lovesickness. If you came back, maybe you and him can come back together, too?]

You've often wondered how it would feel to come back. Would you be excited? Or would the weight of the memories push you to the ground? How many things would be different and how many would you recognize?

A bitter chuckle leaves your mouth. You're a grown woman and yet you're nervous like an 8-year-old with mismatched socks. The overhead sign Jujutsu Tech feels imposing as though the genius loci of the school is telling you to turn back and leave; just like it did when you were a teenager, entering an unfamiliar world of unfathomable possibilities. The girl you used to be, afraid of what the future is bound to hold, could never imagine the respect and awe with which your name is spoken now. It's almost miraculous, really.

But there are more important things at hand than melancholy.

You sigh, pushing yourself to walk forward. The rock steps feel the same under your feet as they did years ago, the wooden floorboards inside the entry room still creak in the same note. For what it's worth, nothing about Jujutsu Tech seems any different than it did then.

Nothing.

You know very well he's sitting in the corner, staring at you. It's a habit he has picked up quite a long time ago - watching, observing, studying. He used to do that only to learn a few things about you and appear as charming as he possibly could. But with time this little unnerving habit stuck around.

At first, he looks laid-back. Overconfident, as he usually is. Although you know him a little too well and so you notice the way he's crossing his arms on his chest, his shoulders tense and raised. The greatest sorcerer in the world is nervous when in the presence of his high school sweetheart.

"Long time no see, Satoru," you finally speak up.

"You're even prettier than I remember," he answers, bothering to sound casual. He almost succeeds.

"And you're exactly the same, it seems."

You stare him up and down. The blindfold in place of sunglasses and the plain, black robes make him appear more professional. Still, Satoru's untamed white hair gives him a juvenile look. Maturity is supposed to arrive with age but perhaps the age arrived alone in his case.

Gojo sits further back on the old couch. He rests his hands behind his head. A half-grin curves his lips - the very same smile that always made you equally annoyed and weak in the knees. Truly, if Satoru wasn't as charming as he is, you'd have strangled him years ago.

"Ah," he sighs. "Perfection can't be improved."

Crossing your arms on your chest, you give him a playful look. "Then how come I'm supposedly prettier?"

Suddenly, Gojo leans forward. "Good question." He rubs his chin in faux thoughtfulness. You've learned better than to trust his little theatrics, no matter how amusing they are. "I never understood how this works. Just when I thought you're equal to a goddess, you make all of them look plain."

You feel your hands shaking. If your heart doesn't slow down soon, you might have a serious problem. As warm as your face gets, you hope the blush is not visible. How embarrassing to fall again for his wax poetic right away...

Trying to hide how flustered his words have made you, you force out a chuckle. "Gojo Satoru, always the sweet-talker, eh?"

Despite your best attempt at dismissing the entire situation, the man in front of you seems to have caught on to your bashfulness. After all those years, has he been craving to see you blushing and giggling again?

"If you keep saying my name like that, I might fall in love with you," he warns you half-heartedly.

The realization hits you at one moment. Something you've been suspecting, maybe hoping for even, has been proven right between his smooth talking and shaky breaths. Now that you think about it, it's all painfully obvious: how excited he seems to see you again, the immediate rush to dish out compliments and the rather poor attempt at appearing all suave and laid-back.

"You never fell out," you declare with undeniable certainty in your voice. "Did you?"

Something about the air changes instantly. The sparks of a maybe-rekindled romance have gone out, leaving both of you cold and distant towards each other.

Those few seconds of silence feel almost like hours. The quietness is ringing in your ears, pushing at your thoughts to say something. Anything! Just stop this suffocating unease from eating you alive.

This time, it's Gojo who breaks the silence first. "I stand by what I said back then: you're the one for me. It's either you or no one."

Fortunately, unforeseen aid comes almost immediately - before the tension between the two of you could choke you, a cacophony of teen voices, seemingly engaged in a loud feud, echoes throughout the building.

[baldursgat3]

so like a week ago I saw a post I can't find again about the idea of like an elf Tav who had grown up with Astarion before Cazador

so here's 4.5k words of that

lightly nsfw but the pants stay on (except in my half finished drafts that I gave up on)

A hog ran out of the bushes and you felt a blade against your neck as the man bodied you to the ground. He hovered over you, dagger pressed to your throat as he leaned in close with a soft smile. "Not another sound. Not if you want to keep that darling neck of yours." This was the first time you really managed to get a good look at him. Still, it took you a moment to recognize him. He looked so much older than you remembered and his eyes were blood red. "Astarion?" He was clearly not expecting that. His eyes widened in confusion and panic before he pressed the dagger firmer against your neck, the tip drawing a prick of blood. "How in the hells do you know that?" He hissed. "Who are you?

You stumbled along the beach away from the illithid ship. Your head was pounding and you just wanted to lay down but this was not nearly the time or place. You had to get away from the crash site and, preferably, find a few other survivors to watch your back. The cleric you picked up was fine and all, but you didn't entirely trust her. You were certain you'd need more help than that anyway.

Corpses littered the surrounding area, of humans and mind flayers alike. Not much survived the falling, flaming debris. It wasn't hard to make out a voice over the crackling fires.

You jogged towards the voice, quickly spotting it's owner. A slender elf with white curls that were surprisingly neat for surviving the nautiloid wreck. "Quick! I've got one of those brain things cornered."

That voice was… familiar? Still, you couldn't quite place it and it didn't really matter. If you helped him kill the thing, perhaps you could convince him to join you.

You followed where he was pointing, sword in hand. Really, you should've known better. Or perhaps Shadowheart could've been quicker to alert you?

A hog ran out of the bushes and you felt a blade against your neck as the man bodied you to the ground. He hovered over you, dagger pressed to your throat as he leaned in close with a soft smile. "Not another sound. Not if you want to keep that darling neck of yours."

This was the first time you really managed to get a good look at him. Still, it took you a moment to recognize him. He looked so much older than you remembered and his eyes were blood red. "Astarion?"

He was clearly not expecting that. His eyes widened in confusion and panic before he pressed the dagger firmer against your neck, the tip drawing a prick of blood. "How in the hells do you know that?" He hissed. "Who are you?

"You- you died…?" It didn't make sense. You saw them bury his body and everything.

His eyes flicked back and forth, studying your face. You wouldn't be upset if he didn't recognize you, but you weren't exactly sure how you would talk your way out of this in that case.

Fortunately, you wouldn't have to find out. You saw the moment it hit him as he jerked his dagger away from your neck, scrambling to get off of you. "It… can't be. Of all the people… you." He laughed bitterly, stowing the dagger.

Honestly, you weren't exactly sure how to respond to this situation. You couldn't even tell if he was happy to see you or not. So you decided to press on the most concerning issue still. "You died. I went to your funeral, Astarion. What… happened to you?"

You were nearly the same age, you'd grown up together in his family's estate. Your parents were hired hands and you served as a live-in friend for their reclusive son. He was only a few months older than you, so why did he look so much older? So much paler, more exhausted than someone your age ought to be.

On top of it he still looked fucking fantastic. Gods you hated how effortlessly beautiful he was.

His gaze darted between you and Shadowheart, anxiously weighing his options. "Ah, yes, well. You know how it goes, surrounded by adoration and opulence. It all gets to be too much, you fake your death, you flee the country. Standard business really."

That definitely wasn't the truth but clearly he wasn't about to share it in front of Shadowheart. It hurt, finding him like this, though. You were so close as children. It had gotten a little harder as you grew up but you always kept in contact. But he let you think he was dead for 200 years anyway? "Right. Of course. Well. Care to join us?"

~*~*~

It's not like you were still in mourning or anything. He had been a good friend for so long, at times even your best friend, but two hundred years was enough time for you to move on.

You had thought about him from time to time. Fondly remembering stories from your past that would turn into a quiet sadness for the life that was taken from him.

They never had an answer for what had happened to him. He had been murdered, you knew that much. No one ever said how or why, though. Magistrate's weren't exactly beloved and his family held a high enough title there was always the vague threat of assassinations but Astarion seemed like such a strange target.

It was compounded by the fact that nothing ever came of it. No one was ever caught, no political move was made on his grieving family. You would think maybe he'd been jumped, but nothing had been taken from him. Honestly, you never expected to get an answer. Certainly not from the dead man himself.

The two of you were sat in his tent, it had been a few days but what a wild few days they were. Tomorrow you would set out to level the goblin camp but tonight you were going to talk.

"I'm sorry." He started. It kind of surprised you, really. You had been learning over the past few days that the man you had once known was all but gone. The Astarion in front of you now was always bitter and irritated with half the things you did.

"Astarion I swear to Kelemvor, it is not naïve to rescue a twelve year old from a crazy lady with a snake for 'no reason.' The reason is rescuing the twelve year old from a snake."

"Where did you go? What happened to you?" The apology was nice but really, you just wanted answers. "Why didn't you tell me?"

He sighed, leaning forward to rest his arms on his knees. His eyes were fixed on the ground between the two of you and he looked so… sad. "I thought about it, about finding you. At first and, only for a moment."

Well that didn't really clear anything up, all right. You kept quiet though, you were smart enough to know when not to push.

"You want the truth? I was captured. Kidnapped by an evil man who turned me into a monster and forced me to do his bidding. I couldn't have told you. I- I didn't want to get anywhere near you. Not like this." 

A picture was beginning to come into focus. Honestly, there had been enough pieces that you had already begun to wonder. "You're a vampire."

"A spawn, yes." He practically spat the word out, scowling at the ground. "He turned me into his little pet. I was to go out and catch him the most beautiful souls I could find for him to feast on. All the while I was starved and tortured just for his amusement."

"Astarion…"

"I don't want your pity. I mean - I do, sort of but- ugh…" He rolled his eyes, leaning back. "You've made this all extremely complicated."

"Why didn't you ever try to find me? I would've helped, I could've tried to get you out of there."

"I… well I couldn't." He glanced up at you, a sad smile crossing his lips. "You would've tried, certainly. And I would've watched him kill you as punishment I'm sure. No, it's quite all right." He waved a hand dismissively, as a perfect, easy grin spread across his face.

You couldn't exactly argue. It's not like you had any idea what you would've been up against. Still, your blood boiled at the very idea of what he must've gone through in your centuries apart. "Well, you're safe right now, anyway."

His face softened at your words, seeming to relax into the very idea of your protection. "I am, aren't I? How strange." His head cocked to the side, an almost calculating look crossing his face. "Would you… care to stay the night?"

~*~*~

You had always had a sort of off and on crush on Astarion, growing up. When you were very small he had told your parents that the two of you were already married, obviously.

As you got older, you had been sidelined pretty hard as the best friend and you took it with grace. You had plenty of other people who caught your eye and it was nice to always have someone you trusted to be there.

There was that one time that he had drunkenly wept into your arms about being the only person he would ever truly love. It would've meant more had he not just gotten his heart broken hours prior, but it did rekindle an old spark in your heart for a solid year.

The two of you had drifted apart as your social circles moved in opposite directions. You never connected with the upper class, he wouldn't be seen with the rabble. You always kept in touch but, by the time he was murdered captured, you were struggling to keep up with your monthly nights out at the Elfsong.

Right now, though, in this moment? You felt as though you couldn't possibly be closer to another person if you'd wished for it.

Astarion had practically crawled on top of you in his effort to kiss you. One of his hands was tangled in your hair while the other rested firmly against the small of your back. He was colder than you were used to but that wasn't unwelcome. Instead it just sent shivers through your entire body with every touch.

You slowly lowered yourself down to your elbows as he leaned further into you, chasing this kiss like he needed it to survive. The hand in your hair held you firmly against him, not that you had any intention of going anywhere.

His tongue slipped into your mouth, pulling a pitiful little noise out of your throat. He let out a small breath of a laugh as his fingers began to slowly tug your shirt out of your pants. Every move was so delicate and effortless on his part. Gods he was flawless.

He freed your shirt from the prison that was your waistband, pulling back just far enough to whisper a soft "May I?" against your lips.

You couldn't help the grin that spread across your face as you blinked up at him. "Only if you return the favor."

"Gladly." A devilish smile crossed his lips as he pulled back, taking your top with him. A moment later, he had his own pulled over his head and both were recklessly discarded.

One of his hands found it's way to your back again. You couldn't help the way you jumped as his icy fingers made contact with your bare skin. His other hand came up to cup your jaw, ever so gently applying just a bit of pressure. Just enough to encourage you to lay back underneath him as he pressed your lips together again.

You went so easily, he was so gentle and sweet and he tasted like vanilla and ever so slightly like copper. He was intoxicating.

Once he had you on your back, his hands began to wander. They trailed ever so delicately over your chest, lighting a fire inside of you as they went. Your own hands were so much more inexperienced. One helplessly pressed flat against his back, the other unwilling to pull away from his curls for even a moment.

He didn't seem to be bothered by how little you were really helping. His hands continued tenderly mapping your body as his kisses began to trail away from your mouth, along your jawline.

You let out a small gasp as his kiss trailed down to your neck and you felt him pull back, just a bit, just enough to look at you. "Now… it is just a thought… it's just that, well, some people are into biting."

"Are you asking if you can drink my blood?"

"Well, only if the answer is yes."

You gently brushed your hand through his mess of curls as you pondered this. "What would it… do?"

"To you? Not much. A bit of dizziness perhaps, nothing out of the ordinary for some good old fashioned blood loss. But for me? I've been living off rats and wild boar for decades. Just a sip from someone as decadent as yourself could probably give me the power of the sun."

You couldn't help but laugh at the blatant flirting, but damn if it wasn't working. "Maybe a bit exaggerated," he continued "But it would make me feel stronger. I could fight better, think clearer. You don't have to-"

"Go for it."

"Oh. Shit really? I still had a whole monologue about not feeling pressured."

"Getting less sexy by the second, Ancunín."

"Gods, shut up." He rolled his eyes, pressing his lips back to yours as you giggled.

You could feel his anticipation now, though. He kissed you just long enough to push you back into the right headspace before his attention turned back to your neck.

He lingered there longer than you expected, tenderly covering you with his kisses. Then, without warning, he pulled back and his gentle lips were replaced by an acute sting as his fangs sunk into one of your veins.

It was a unique feeling, you could say that. You'd been stabbed before but this was different. It was cold. Like the first snow of winter, dark and freezing but glittering like crystals in the moonlight. You heard yourself gasp and felt your body arch up into him as your head tipped back for him.

You could've easily lost yourself in the feeling, just basking in this closeness you had with someone who was so dear to you. You had just enough awareness to feel the dizzy, light headed bliss start to tip towards darkness.

Your grip on his hair tightened, gently trying to tug him back before he got carried away. "Astarion…"

He only let out a gentle moan before seeming to catch himself, quickly pulling away with a small gasp. "Gods…" he wiped away the small trickle of your blood that had escaped his lips, licking it from his fingers as you stared up at him, slack jawed.

"I couldn't have wished for a finer vintage." He crooned as he ducked his head back down to clean the blood from your neck.

Gods, he had your heart about bursting out of your chest. His hands started to wander again as his mouth continued it's assault on your neck. Every touch was so careful and perfect, each one sending sparks flying through you.

He cupped one hand around your neck, gently applying a bit of pressure to stop the bleeding as his mouth moved back to yours. "You're gorgeous, you know? I've always thought so."

You were obsessed already. He was intoxicating, the way his touch felt against your skin, the way his honey sweet words pierced your heart. There was an old version of you that had dreamed of just having him like this.

Here you were, pampered and loved by a man you had adored for so long. Gods, you really never thought you would ever see him again, let alone have his hand down your pants like this. In this moment, the world was nearly perfect. The only thing that mattered to you now was making this boy yours.

~*~*~

You woke up in the morning, a bit sore, a bit disoriented, and very alone. It took a moment to remember why you were in a strange tent. Another moment for you to realize Astarion was gone. You couldn't help the disappointment that bloomed in your chest at that thought. You couldn't blame him, exactly. It's not like the two of you were a thing. Still, it would've been nice to wake up beside him.

You sighed softly, quietly getting dressed in the still morning chill. It felt like early morning, the golden light filtering into the tent and lack of noise from your companions clued you in. Maybe Astarion had run off to feed before the rest of the camp woke up. Maybe he'd hoped to be back before you had gotten up?

No such luck. You pushed open the tent flap to find your vampire quietly staring at the dim embers of your campfire. You had to bite back another sigh as you stepped forward, apparently making enough noise to draw his attention.

His neck whipped around, though he relaxed instantly once he located the source of the sound he'd heard. "You're up early." He said, quietly, turning back to the fire.

"I could say the same."

"I'm always the first one awake." You could hear the eye roll in his voice.

You stepped forward, moving to sit beside him with a small, awkward smile. "And you just had to get away from me?" Don't freak him out, play it cool. You weren't disappointed at all.

He didn't seem to find it funny, though. He just drew his knees up closer to his chest. "I told you. You made things… complicated."

That was weird. Honestly, you had no idea what he meant. "I'm sorry?"

"Not your fault." His voice was flat and unreadable. He'd really changed so much since you last saw him. It made sense but that didn't stop it from hurting.

You missed the man you used to know. Snarky and a bit full of himself. But also shy and awkward and comforting. You recognized many of his old mannerisms but they'd changed. He was bitter, focused on how to protect himself above all else. It made him violent and trigger happy in a way you weren't used to. Quite frankly, it was a little scary sometimes, the amount of joy he took in violence.

"Can I help?" It was all you had really. You couldn't change what had happened to him. All you could do now was try to help.

"Can you help? Sure. If you could just… go back in time, stop yourself from finding me after the nautiloid and let me carry on my merry way, presumably to be murdered by the first person I annoy too much."

"Okay, well, I'm not sure I can do that." You couldn't read him, no matter how hard you tried. "Did I… do something wrong?"

"No, gods, no." He curled up tighter. He looked so… vulnerable. He never did vulnerable. Especially not now. "You're perfect. That's the problem. You made it complicated."

"Astarion, I don't understand."

He sighed, finally turning his head to throw you a small, tired look. "I know. Hells…" You could see the confliction writing itself across his face. "I want to tell you something but you have to swear that you won't hate me for it, I mean it. It's not good, but you cannot hate me."

"I've never hated you, Star." Maybe the nickname was a bad idea. You practically saw it stab him directly through the chest, forcing him to turn away for a moment to collect himself.

He couldn't look you in the eye again, he just stared off to the distance in any other direction. "I know. I mean it though, promise me, please."

"All right." What could he possibly tell you that was worse than 'I spent two hundred years forced to kidnap people to be killed by my master.' "I promise. I won't hate you, no matter what."

You saw him relax a bit, his shoulders loosening. He turned back, just enough to glance at you out of the corner of his eye. "I… Last night, that- it…" It was so rare that he struggled to find his words.

He took another breath, trying to collect himself before turning back to the fire. "I was just… using you. I wish I could say I didn't mean to but- gods, I did. I pushed it that way on purpose. Its all… part of the plan, you know? Seduce you, sleep with you, secure my safety and position in the group with you. It was… easy."

Oh. Well that wasn't exactly great to hear. He was still trying to collect himself, find the right words. You didn't want to interrupt and, honestly, you didn't really know what to say.

"I didn't think about it, I just… did it. Like I had to. I needed to. And by the time my head caught up it was too late. You were already into it, I couldn't just stop."

"What?"

"I mean," He continued quickly, seemingly trying to get ahead of your presumed anger. "It's not like it wasn't good, it's not like I don't… care about you. It's just, it was an instinct. I think."

"Astarion-"

"Please, you have to understand-"

"No, no, stop. Hold on." You saw the panic in his eyes as you interrupted. "Astarion did you not… want to do that?"

The look he gave you was, honestly, almost a little pitiful. "Like I said, you've made this complicated. I don't know. I don't know what I want."

You turned your attention away from him, towards the dying fire in front of you, pausing for a moment to collect your thoughts. "I wish you hadn't done that to yourself." He was right. This was complicated.

He wasn't the same person you had grown up with. Whatever had been done to him had clearly changed him fundamentally as a person.

But, still, you couldn't look at him without seeing your old friend. It was still the same laugh you had known. Still the same smile. You saw it, when you agreed to help the tieflings, the way he cocked his hip out and rolled his eyes. His little mannerisms that still lingered after all this time. He might not be the same man you had known, but you loved him anyway.

"I don't know what happened to you," you continued before he could get defensive. "I don't know what made you feel like you had to go to such extremes just to win affections you've had since we were children."

You saw some kind of spark in his eyes. It was so difficult to read him now, you wanted to get better at that. "I'm… sorry." He sounded so unsure. Honestly, you didn't care for it, he was always so confident. Now, though, he just looked… sad, maybe?

"You don't have to apologize. Astarion," You carefully reached a hand out to cover one of his. "The first thing you did when you saw me was put a dagger to my throat, and I still would've tossed Shadowheart into the ocean if you'd asked me to."

That pulled a startled laugh out of him that you briefly worried might've woken up your companions. Gods you really would do just about anything to see him smile. "You would not have. You're too much of a goody two shoes."

"Maybe." You grinned, giving his hand the smallest squeeze. "Still. I'm just sorry you felt like you had to go that far for my affection."

"I'm not the man you used to know, I'm not blind. I don't know who he was anymore. Up till now, I think I'd forgotten my own parents' faces. But you look at me like you expect me to be him and I don't know how. I can't be what you expect, at least if I could keep your bed warm you'd have reason to keep me around."

"Astarion…" Your hand tightened around his as you scooted just a bit closer. "I was sitting in the Elfsong, a long time ago. At 'our' table, you know? I was waiting for you to meet me and I grabbed a day old copy of the Gazette to read while I waited.

"I didn't even notice at first. There was a headline for one of the articles, 'Magistrate Murdered', but I didn't notice until I got closer to it. I saw your name and it was like the roof caved in over me. I was sitting there, waiting for you to show up, and a shitty, ale stained piece of parchment told me you never would."

You looked up at him with a sad smile before continuing quickly, trying to stay ahead of the guilt you were sure was creeping up in him. "I cried for months over you. And for years after when something reminded me too much of you. Star, neither of us are the same person we left behind, it's been two hundred years. I've been through plenty, and you've been through hell. That's not what matters though."

He looked so small right now. He was nervous and upset and vulnerable. You hated it, you didn't want him to be so anxious with you, gods you wanted him to trust you. "What matters is right now. We're here together. That's so much more than I ever could've dreamed just a month ago. You don't have to earn my trust and love again. And you certain don't have to force yourself to have sex with me to do it. I never stopped loving you, Astarion."

He was still for a moment, his eyes flicking over your face, scanning you for ill intent. You watched him cycle through a dozen emotions as he processed what you were saying. Then, almost like a switch flipped, he just melted.

With a choked out sob, he collapsed into you. You wrapped your arms around him as he curled into a ball, practically in your lap. His whole body shook as he quietly cried into your chest. You really did hate seeing him cry but you could feel the tension lifting from his shoulders as you held him tight.

You let a silent prayer fly to whichever god was keeping your friends asleep through this, asking them to keep up the good work. The last thing he needed right now was everyone else seeing him like this, you knew how much he wanted to keep up appearances.

Ever so gently, you lifted a hand to card your fingers through his curls. He curled up just a bit tighter, leaned into you just a bit more. It had been so, so long since the two of you had been this close. You really, truly never wanted it to end.

Eventually, though, he pulled back with an awkward laugh and a hasty scrub of his face. He didn't go far, just enough to sit back and look at you. "Gods… well. That was sexy."

You rolled your eyes, throwing him a soft grin. "You're ridiculous, Star. Come on, everyone'll be up soon. Big day, you know? Let's go kill some fucking goblins."

[theidiotwhowritesthings]

IS THERE A VERSION OF JOEL MILLER I WOULDN'T FUCK?

[a case study in how thirsty i am for this man.] [aka fic recommendations]

Unfortunately, in my extensive research on this topic, I have found some pretty damning evidence against my sanity.

dad's best friend!joel miller x fem!reader

Your Summer Dream [masterlist] by @swiftispunk It is a scientific fact that if you place Joel Miller on a beach he becomes 100x hotter. I don't make the rules, I just report them.

Creep it Real! by @swiftispunk I am a puddle. I melted and I'm a shallow pathetic puddle. Cowboy and Angel. I just hnnnnnggggg. I need him to ruin me pls dear god.

*I'm realizing if i include all the DBF!JM i read this will get very long, very quickly, and i think i have revealed enough of myself on this blog to highlight my very obvious daddy issues

**speaking of daddy issues...

stepdad!joel miller x fem!reader

Don't Be Cute, Be Nasty by @cockslutpadalecki i'm pretty sure this was the first stepdad!joel miller anything i read and it awoke something in my soul. it's always fun to reach new levels of my daddy issues and BY GOD was this just 🫠

Bad Girl [part i of many] by @seventeenpins he walks in on her while she's watching stepdaddy porn and good lord it gets filthier and filthier in the best kind of way.

boyfriend's dad!joel miller x fem!reader

Lost in the Dark [masterlist] by @iamasaddie i expected to be a slut reading this but then it made me an emotional slut out of nowhere i am obsessed. there is nothing i love more than being drawn in by my thots only to be hit by an emotional bus out of nowhere.

Thigh's Out AU [masterlist] by @toxicanonymity not only is this a boyfriend's dad AU, but said boyfriend's dad is a hot and slutty. just like i like my dilfs.

father-in-law!joel miller x fem!reader

Pink [masterlist] by @netherfeildren holy fuck. that's all. just holy fuck. this altered my genetic makeup.

Help, I'm Stuck! by @nosesitter spoiler alert: he takes her wedding ring off before dicking her down and I-- 👀 send help.

***i didn't think i had a lot of significant other's father!joel miller in my repertoire, but i had to stop myself again from listing them all on this one otherwise we'd be here all day. shit, i'm learning things about myself 🤡

dark therapist!joel miller x fem!reader

Session 1 by @elvinaa i think this only highlights how badly i need an actual therapist (as does this entire list actually).

sleazy gas station clerk!joel miller x fem!reader

Meet Me in the Back (1) & The Night is Dark Enough ... (2) written by @atticrissfinch It does not bode well for me that this version of Joel Miller made me so fucking feral. In no way, shape, nor form should a sleazy gas station clerk make me feel this way AND YET HERE WE ARE.

tattoo artist!joel miller x fem!reader

Honeyed [masterlist] by @softlyspector This one absolutely hits too close to home for me, but that's probably why I'm so obsessed with it. My touch adverse yet touch starved ass ate this up and left no crumbs😌

chiro!joel miller x fem!reader

Say Yes to Heaven by @pascalisbaby i thought the medical side of my brain would cringe at the doctor/patient dynamic but as it turns out my depravity knows no bounds 🥵

frat dad!joel miller x fem!reader

The Old College Try by @proxima-writes i didn't even know this was something i needed in my life until it came into my life. blessings🙏🏼

ceo!joel miller x fem!reader

Sex on Fire [masterlist] by @macfrog i don't think i need to harp on what that sugar daddy vibes do to me🤤

mafia!joel miller x fem!reader

Divine Dynasty by @cavillscurls Remember when I said putting Joel by a body of water makes him 100x hotter? The same applies to a Mafia AU. I can't explain it. I have no sound reasoning to support my claim other than "he hot tho".

pornstar!joel miller x fem!reader

I Know it When I See it [masterlist] by @bageldaddy 🔥🔥🔥 that is all.

maintenance man!joel miller x fem!reader

Maintenance Man [masterlist] by @gracieispunk toolbelt. say less.

slasher!joel miller x fem!reader

Slasher [masterlist] by @toxicanonymity i thought for sure, FOR SURE, this would be blind, pure, detached smut that i could enjoy with no emotional ties whatsoever. and then all of a sudden i'm feeling things??? he just loves his mom so much😭 mama's boy wants to be happy. JAIL. real jail for murderer joel miller. horny jail for me. and audacity jail for toxic b/c how dare you make me feel things for a serial killer😩

as i said previously, the evidence speaks for itself. i have yet to find a version of joel miller i could not immediately fuck. i'm actually planning (i have a lot of plans and no time smh), to go through all these on my recommendation blog w/play by play commentary so everyone can know just how unhinged i am for this guy.

but now!! you guys have a syllabus for my insanity!!

now, excuse me while i go find a therapist (a real one, not a hot/dark joel miller version of one) (although beggars can't be choosers right?👀)

dividers by @saradika

[bewires]

oppenheimer criticisms I haven't seen but think would be fair:

-choice to have 90% of florence pugh's screentime being "hysterical topless woman"

-movie does not pass bechdel test at all; otoh it is a historical biopic representing the life of a man to whose field of study very few women had access at the time and the movie makes a point to show those women gaining access. like. it's not a movie about women at all, and I doubt I will see nolan make such a movie ever, but beyond florence pugh's character there are some good and nuanced moments in there especially with emily blunt but also with minor characters

-early sequences of tortured baby oppenheimer dreaming the beauty of physics are very overwrought

-choice to not shoot on location in germany (look this one is just for me I have been to all the places oppenheimer studied (I am not a theoretical physics fangirl but I know several) and the only place they chose not to actually film in person is göttingen which I take personal offense at)

-they cast matthias schweighöfer in a hollywood movie. no excuses for that one tbh.

oppenheimer criticisms I have seen and think are unfair

-"nolan can't make a good war movie" bc he will not make an intersectional war movie. potentially accurate in re dunkirk, which I didn't see bc I don't like war movies, but in this case he did not make a war movie, he made a historical biopic. the war is relevant, obviously, but the movie is not at all about the battlefield or the front, it is about the life of a physicist, and yes, it's not very intersectional.

-the effects of the a-bomb on the people of japan are not given due diligence. I understand people disagreeing about this but I have also seen several posts of people going "I won't watch this but I bet it doesn't" and uh. I think it does. I think every moment in this movie after the trinity test is entirely about oppenheimer realizing the impact of his research and it is shown several times, excruciatingly, how aware he is of what the effects of the a-bomb were. we do not see the bomb, nor do we see japan, because again, it is a historical biopic about this one dude and he wasn't there. this is also the first time I have seen a mainstream hollywood movie make repeat and pointed note of the fact that in a military sense the use of a-bombs in japan was not necessary.

-movie is pro-war/glorifies the a-bomb/glorifies oppenheimer. I think the strongest case you can make is that it glorifies the a-bomb because movie splosions are cool. but I also think the movie's biggest strength is its ambiguity. whose fault is it there was an a-bomb? is it oppenheimer's? he sure thinks so! is it einstein's? he sure thinks so at least indirectly! is it the american government's? they sure think so and they're proud of it (all of these according to the various chracters of this movie). is it a good thing they developed the a-bomb? several characters have several differing opinions on this! oppenheimer himself seems very divided and unsure by the end of the movie and cannot make a judgment call. in the end (much like with cillian murphy's other iconic character who wears a hat cough cough) if people walk out of this movie as fans of the character or his actions imo that's on them and not on the authorship of the movie

[nicoline1998enilocin]

I was wondering if we could include Moon, the cat, in a story too? So I was wondering if you could write something like cuddling with Tony and Moon with this prompt >enthusiastic cuddles accompanied by squeaky noises<, but maybe the noises are just the kitty being talkative lol. In case you can't/don't wanna write for Moon, it's okay, no biggie! You can write just for Tony or feel free to ignore this request too, no pressure! Thank you anyway!

A Sunny Secret || Part 1

PAIRING || Fiancé!Tony Stark x Fiancée!Fem!Reader

WORDCOUNT || ~ 975 words

SUMMARY || Your mornings always start the same: Tony asks for a few more minutes of cuddles, followed by a shower as you get ready for work and breakfast prepared by your husband-to-be. However, they’re both much happier this morning than usual, and you can’t get enough of it as you look at your two favorite boys being silly as ever.

RATING || Teen (T)

TAGS || Canon compliant. Established relationship. Former Sugar Daddy arrangement.

A/N || This is written for my Summer of Drabbles. Nonnie, I have been looking forward to this drabble since receiving your request! I feel honored you requested our little Moon, and I’m happy to include him! This story is proofread by the amazing @ccbsrmsf1 for which I'm forever grateful 🤍

Photo: Source || Other graphics are made by @nicoline1998enilocin

Main Masterlist || Tony Stark || Sugar Daddy!Tony Stark || Summer of Drabbles

A groan is heard in the entirely dark bedroom as your alarm goes off, letting you know you must get up soon for a 24-hour shift on the surgical wing of SHIELD's surgical department. You have landed a residency there with some help from your now fiancé, and you're nearing the end, as there are only a few more weeks ahead of you before graduation and the official start as a surgeon, also within SHIELD.

Thankfully, the medical wing is located in Avengers Tower, which means you have the luxury of sleeping in a bit longer today, and Tony, your fiancé, will make good use of the few minutes he has before you need to get up and shower, while he will prepare breakfast for you. This routine has quickly become something you both enjoy before he goes back to bed, as it gives you some much-needed quality time before it's time to head out, and you cherish it every single day.

Once you get comfortable again, Tony wraps a strong arm around your waist before pulling you against his body; the warmth and the soft hum of his arc reactor are immediately noticeable as he does. A smile spreads over your features as you lean into it, and the soft kisses he's placing on your shoulder make you feel very loved as you shut your eyes. You always set two alarms in the morning so you can get some cuddles before getting up.

"Hmm, five more minutes, Sugar," Tony grumbles, and you extend the alarm for five minutes, not wanting to get up either. Once that's done, you turn yourself around to face him, and a small smile tugs at your mouth as you study his soft features, the darkness of his eyes, and the lines forming his expression. Your fingers glide over the stubble on his cheek, the feeling of it making you smile even more.

"I can't believe I got so lucky, Sugar. Each morning, when I wake up next to you, I feel like the most fortunate man on earth, especially when I think about the fact that you're mine," he tells you, and your cheeks start to heat up at his words. His gaze is locked on yours as his fingers gently dig into the soft flesh of your hip as if he's trying to remember this moment forever, but it's rudely disturbed when your alarm goes off, and you finally have to get up to go ahead and shower.

"What would you like to have for breakfast this morning, Sugar? Moon and I will be sure to have it ready for you by the time you're done with your shower," he says while you walk to the attached bathroom. You stop at the door's opening as you think about it, your index finger tapping your chin as you do.

"Some yogurt with berries and granola, please," you tell him, and with an agreeing hum, Tony gets up, pulling on a pair of the sweatpants you love so much. They span around his thick, muscled thighs perfectly and highlight his large bulge as well, and you often take a few seconds to look at it, especially when he's not wearing underwear.

While you're in the shower, your fiancé makes his way to the large kitchen as he passes Moon's large cat tree. He's already awake as Tony walks through the door, and he jumps into his arms skillfully before purring loudly, making Tony chuckle.

"Good morning to you too, Moon! Let's make some breakfast for Mommy, okay?" Tony asks as he nuzzles his face into your rescue cat's soft, dark fur. A long meow can be heard throughout the penthouse, making your fiancé laugh as he pulls back, but Moon isn't as enthusiastic as he looks at Tony, his eyes squinting a bit as if he's trying to say, 'You do that again, and you're not going to be happy.'

As soon as they get to the kitchen, Tony walks to the large fridge to get the things he needs before putting Moon and the ingredients down on the counter and turning on the kettle to boil some water for your tea. Your cat watches with a skillful gaze while your breakfast is being prepared. Tony practically floats around the kitchen at the thought of what he's about to do today - picking out another kitten to gift you when you graduate in about two months.

"What do you think, Moon? Would you like to get a little brother or a sister?" Tony asks as he puts your bowl and cup of tea on the kitchen counter, perfectly timed as you turn off the shower. As you take your time to dry off, do your hair, and slip into your scrubs for the day, Tony is waiting for his coffee machine to make his morning cup of black coffee, while Moon needs more attention.

Without warning, Tony scoops him up before blowing raspberries in his side, making him meow loudly as a way of 'complaining,' though he doesn't do anything to warn him off. Just as you're about to walk into the kitchen for breakfast, you're met by the sight of Moon meowing loudly, his tail wagging like crazy, and your husband-to-be laughing between giving more raspberries and playing with your beloved cat.

"Good morning to you two, as well!" you say dryly while sitting down, and both Tony and Moon look at you simultaneously, making you smile.

"Don't stop on my account; I was enjoying seeing you two doing… whatever this is," you tell them with a wave of your spoon, a smile still on your face. Seeing how happy they are together makes you happy, too, and you're excited to see how close they've gotten since you have adopted the little guy.

[madschiavelique]

Yandere migue you say 👀👀👀👀do elaborate bc that’s a conversation that needs to be had!!! In the meantime pls accept my thoughts on this man absolutely tearing it up 😩👌🏻

(He would be 100% devoted to you but this man would NOT go easy on you😭, esp if you talk back and display any bratty behavior which gets all the gesrs in his head running bc he lives for that challenge, quite literally has you exhausted and almost passing out by the time he’s brought you to yet another peak. You forgot how many it had been. He started out with his fingers, unforgiving and determined to find all of your weak spots and manipulate them to bring you pleasure. Then he brought his mouth and tongue on you to get you all eased up, pliant and ready to take him (despite being mean and unforgiving he would never intentionally hurt you and he knows how uhhh 😬 challenging it can get taking him without prep so you can bet on it that he spends a generous time down there preparing you). You’re all sweaty, flushed, your entire body aching and buzzing deliciously from the pleasure as he blows another load in you. You’re so oversensitive your vision starts to blur, and the last things you can make out is him laying you down on the sheets, hovering above you as soft words of praise are spoken into the silence of the night. He strokes you all over, paying attention that his rough fingers are extra gentle on the bruises and bites he has left all over your body in the heat of the moment. If you had any energy left in you, you’d squirm away bc you’re so sensitive but all you can do is sigh and sink deeper into the sheets, the combination of his touch and sweet words lulling you into a deep sleep. He wouldn’t stop though, admiring the image of your sleeping form underneath him almost reverently, taking in every small detail about you now that he has you laying underneath him without trying to squirm away from his grip, acting all bratty as you so often liked to. He can’t believe he got so lucky to have you, you’re all his and he vows he’ll always take care of you. Sometimes he speaks out his mind, finding it much easier to be open about his feelings and emotions when you’re asleep. Often it’s just him gently cleaning you up and thinking about how beautiful you look all flushed and sweaty, his spend mixed with your juices leaking out of your puffy and red center. He’s growing hard in no time again, and can’t wait till you’re awake so he can continue where you two left off)

uhhhh yeah so that happened?? In short I need this man to dick me down and put me in my place but also love me so tenderly when I’m not looking 😩🤌🏻

JUST READ THIS WITH MY LITTLE CUP OF TEA IN HAND AND I WAS JUST GASPING ALL THE WAY

so first of all : my sincere reaction

and second of all :

this man handles attitudes intensely, very firmly, and very imply put : if you search him you'll find him, but he will be the one coming for you. he would overstimulate you to the point where you're crying and mutter how you can't give him another orgasm

"weren't you the one asking for it ? hum ? I warned you that I was going to give it to you if you kept acting like that."

the man studied you fully, knowing exactly where to touch, where to lick, and he would make you unable to think properly with just his fingers. he doesn't care if he can't fuck you properly right now, because he wants to make a statement that he's got you wrapped around his fingers (quite literally) and that in any case "do you really think you have a choice ?"

it's only once you're a whimpering mess that can't think straight that he finally fucks you, and you feel like you're split in half by how big he is. no matter how many times he fucks you, you never get used to his width and length, and how good this single feeling is. he hits all the right places within you, sometimes pressing his finger in your navel to make his fingers and his dick connect, and you make such pretty moans when he does that that he does it from time to time. he will undoubtedly grab your face in his hand to properly see your eyes as he fucks you until you're brain dead, his red eyes looking at you in an almost predator way

he will bite you, mark your entire body with his lips and mouth so that you never forget how you're his, and so that everybody knows you belong to him. and after 3 more orgasms with him inside you, you'd collapse completely, your eyes closing on themselves as the overstimulation made everything turn blurry

when waking up, he'd be sat by your side. his hand would come caress your cheeks softly, travelling over each and every mark he had left like the stars of a constellations in the pure and silent sky of the night. you sigh, his single touch so soft it's like feeling clouds on your skin

"you look ethereal, muñeca"

you were his, his beautiful princess in a tower he'd built around for your own protection. he would do anything for you, if he had wounded even one of your hairs, he would have contemplated death.

would you ever even comprehend an ounce of his affection, of his love for you ? you were the only thing he ever wished for, ever cared about. he would've preferred to have been born as a part of you, so that he could've stayed with you forever. you were the best part of him, and he wondered what he had done to deserve such a beautiful lover

[qqueenofhades]

Do you think Barack Obama was a good president?

For the most part, yes. The fact that he got elected in the first place (and in a landslide) was nothing short of miraculous, but those of you on the younger side don't remember just how FUCKING FED UP the entire country was with Dubya and his bullshit. It didn't really matter if you were Democrat or Republican. Everyone hated him, especially when he went out in 2008 by causing a generational economy-crashing cataclysm. For him to go from a 91%+ approval rating just after 9/11, to the low 20s by the time he left office, shows just how sick and tired everyone was with him, and how we fondly (ha) imagined that he would be the worst American president in our lifetime. How very innocent we were.

The fact that Obama, a black guy with the middle name Hussein, who had not even a full term as a US senator as his only real meaningful political experience, could come in there and win is a feeling that honestly is nothing like anything anyone had experienced in politics before. I remember staying up with my family (I was studying abroad in the UK) over phone/Skype until the race was called for Obama around 3am, and one of my classmates ran outside the flat in delirium yelling "OBAMA WON!!!" The pictures of elderly African-Americans just crying their eyes out on that night, and the way they still look at Barack and Michelle now, is special. Yes, of course the reality didn't totally live up to the promise of that moment, but man, for a little while there, it really felt like we had changed the entire paradigms on which this stupid flawed country had been built from the beginning. I can't imagine we'll feel like that again for a long, long time.

Obama managing to save the economy (as noted before, it's a theme that Democratic presidents have to come in and clean up the ungodly mess left by Republicans) and pass the Affordable Care Act, even as watered-down as it was from what he wanted, were two very significant accomplishments. Where he fell short, however, was in his dealings with said Republicans, and obviously not all of this was his fault. Obama was intensely conscious of his position as a political newcomer AND that he was a black guy. The level of racism, vitriol, and sheer ugliness that he (and his family) faced from all quarters was (and is) yeah. We got the Tea Party, the "birthers," and the rest of the radical-right lunatics out in full force, and Obama was aware that he was going to get blamed for everything and then some. He also wanted to think that the Republicans would throw a hissy fit and then get over it and work with him. They didn't. Not for one single day. Not on anything. Just because he was a Democratic black guy. That was all it took, and they stuck to it even as Obama kept reaching for the football and thinking that THIS time, surely they would be reasonable. They weren't. On anything. Ever.

Likewise, the Democrats were caught unprepared by the special election for Ted Kennedy's Massachusetts senate seat, which they lost (taking them from a filibuster-proof 60-seat majority to 59, after which the Republicans accordingly filibustered everything and the Democrats didn't push hard enough to stop them/change the rules). They also seemed to just assume that hey, the country voted for Obama in 2008, they'd clearly do it again in 2010, and they didn't really hype up the ACA or campaign for it or anything like that. So they got shellacked to the tune of 60+ House seats lost in 2010, and then lost the Senate in 2014, allowing Mitch McConnell to flat-out blockade Merrick Garland's SCOTUS nomination (who Obama picked to fill Antonin Scalia's seat) and get away with it. Obama was also not nearly as assertive about nominating judges as Biden has been, though it's also the case that Trump hadn't yet packed the benches with an endless conveyor belt of unqualified uber-conservative hacks. Once again, I think this is a reflection of Obama's overall political inexperience and the fact that he felt he had to "play nice" or get pigeonholed as the "angry black guy," which he then did anyway. So it really was a catch-22.

Online Leftists always like to yelp about "Obama ordering a lot of drone strikes!!!", as if they a) know anything else about American foreign policy, b) are at all interested in criticizing Trump for using EVEN MORE (by like... a lot, and nearly starting WWIII when he killed the Iranian general with one), or c) ever consider the overall ungodly fucking mess that Obama was ALSO left with in Iraq and Afghanistan. I'm not about to defend or agree with that either, but it's disingenuous (as per usual with them) to suggest that that was the only thing Obama did during his presidency and/or that he should be judged on that alone. They also like to pretend that he faced no racism at all, that he could have just "codified Roe vs. Wade and didn't!", that there were no double standards in how he was treated by the press, the political establishment, and the American people, and so on.

So: overall, yes, I think Obama had good intentions and tried to do the right thing. He failed at certain major parts of that, both because of the Republicans and because he didn't have the experience to challenge them or know how to work around them, and because he was in an utterly impossible position. The intense white backlash that gave rise to Trump showed that contrary to what anyone liked to think about Obama's election heralding a "post-racial" era, it was back and more ugly and public than it had been in a long time. It was also surprising that our first black president was a Democrat, and not a Republican shill like Tim Scott and/or Clarence Thomas, who has been allowed to rise in the party only because he faithfully repeats all the maxims of the (white) GOP ruling class. So the sheer strength of Obama Derangement Syndrome, which persists today, has to figure into any appraisals of either what he did or what he could have reasonably been expected to accomplish, and I don't think people get that.

[cripplecharacters]

Do you have an idea of disability as part of redemption arc ? Let's say, I have a character who's a professional executioner, from a dynasty of professional executioners, XVIIIth century. He was a real person, who eventually became paraplegic. Since, I want, for my historical novel to redeem him...He started torturing people at fourteen, maybe younger, and killed for the first time at age 18. He's 33 when the story started, and became hemiplegic/paraplegic (documentation isn't clear on this) at age 35, and was in a social circle of executioners and torturers since birth. Realistically, maybe, he would have little to no sense of belonging beyond that of executioner, unless maybe as head of house, which is again, liked to his position as executioner. He's a third class citizen, but an absurdly wealthy one, and no longer being able-bodied doesn't mean he can stop depending on the executioner buisness, it just means his son has to start killing at 15.

How do you think a man who worked for 13 years as master executioner of Paris, but officially because one at age 7, insuring his wealth but also the envy of his colleagues, would cope with being hemiplegic/paraplegic. Also, one of his potencial rivals was a man who in all likelyhood beated his mother, and probably him and his brother when they were at least teenagers. That master executioner was aged 35 when he lost his mobility to a stroke. The Mémoires of the Sanson family also described him a proud piller of his community, delivering charitable medical care to those in needs and one who enjoyed rough horse riding.

Thank you for your ask! This sounds like a case of redemption through disability, which is a trope that should be avoided. A disabled character can get redeemed, but it should be entirely separate from their disability.

Along with his disability not redeeming him, you should also make sure it doesn’t make him spiteful or cruel. Basically the disability should change what he can physically do, not who he is.

As for the second part of the ask, I first want to note none of our mods are parapalegic/hemiplegic, so we can’t speak for coping with these disabilities specifically. I’d recommend looking for first hand accounts of people with these conditions, or preferably seeing if you can find someone with them to ask or act as a sensitivity reader.

I don’t know much about 18th century French medicine, but physical & occupational therapy will be important as he re-learns tasks that were once easy and figure out ways to complete tasks he can no longer do. Studies show horseback riding can help stroke survivors with their recovery, though he’ll need to ride gently at first.

Have a nice day!

Mod Rot

I just want to say real quick, adding on to the case of redemption through disability, that the reason we want to avoid it is because moralizing disability is something that very much happens to real alive people every day.

Tying disability to morality often is 'disability is a moral failure' type of situation, but another way it affects people is the assumption that 'suffering' through a disability somehow makes you more 'pure' or 'better.' Like when you see some grumpy mean character get an injury and Suddenly They Understand Hardships of Others and they become a better person — sort of a mix between 'disability as punishment' and 'disabled people are innocent.'

This kind of seems like what you're doing here. There's a lot of historical fiction out there that uses real life counterparts. If you choose to do that and redeem a bad person, I can't exactly stop you. But I want you to examine why you think what's going to redeem him is the onset of his disability, rather than an understanding of what he did and attempts to do better.

Hope this helps,

– Mod Sparrow

I agree completely with what has been said and just want to add that even disorders like traumatic brain injuries and strokes that can sometimes affect not only function but also personality should not be used as a moral thing, as mentioned earlier. More realistically impacts of a stroke on personality and mood are depression (this was my main symptom even with minimal other symptoms and damage), some impulsiveness or irritability, and mood swings. The disability, again, should not make them a better or worse person inherently.

-Mod Bert

[angeldeviloshi]

Thinking about Makima and the Angel Devil again. Specifically her getting him to kill his village with his powers and leashing him into Public Safety with the context of what she represents under the state.

Makima stating she's on the side of humanity and a necessary evil yet here she has no qualms about killing off an entire village living peacefully with a devil with no intent of doing any harm, harm that she caused through his skin. And in turn justifies the Angel Devil's custody under Public Safety as a devil and tool.

It's truly one of the instances of the most senseless violence we see even if it happened off-screen and lasted only for a couple pages, but says so much about the depth of Makima's "necessary evil" under the state and a glimpse into her personal desire in a much darker and bitter light than the movie date and the train. It's her country mouse speech in the alleyway.

The way she tells the Angel Devil that he has a "good" power after letting him see what he's done, rubbing in what his purpose is, what he can't have because of what he is and what he does. He's designed to be a tool, a weapon to be armed by the state, by her. And as a weapon he can only hurt and be used. The fallen angel parallels with Denji's Chainsaw Man and the devoured country mouse shared with Reze!!! Barem's definition of hybridhood.

The Japanese government may not have intended for the villagers to be killed but the authority and beliefs they instilled in Makima are what led to it. And it's just intriguing to me I guess, that this brief flashback encapsulates so much of the Angel Devil's dilemma regarding his existence and the role he plays in the narrative alongside Makima and her paradoxical actions as state agent acting in the supposed interest of humanity in her capturing of the Angel Devil and her instigating the massacre of an innocent population like it was necessary.

Like Makima's actions while independent are still bound to her contract to the Japanese prime minister and the way she was raised in a way such that she's unable to turn on them due to her nature as the Control Devil. Yet the way she trickles her personal want into her purpose as a "necessary evil" also speaks to a certain futility in the desire to imbue agency against what she's purposed to be that's shared with the Angel Devil and the rest of the country and city mice. (Reze, Aki, Denji and even Yoshida/Asa in part 2.)

The thing you want/want to be goes against what you're ordained to be/told to believe and embody, you try to let yourself want it, try to bring yourself closer to being/having it, distance yourself from what's preventing you from reaching it, but ultimately you can't separate yourself from it, so you exist as a miserable contradiction.

I see other characters/dynamics discussed and analysed to death but when it comes to Angel Devil (and Aki in this respect) there's not much going on? Just because they're either dead or have a reputation of being a BL ship and that somehow makes them less worthy of narrative introspection when they're like such a convenient case study of csm's core themes in p1 bleeding into p2 both in micro and macro and how it all plays out under and adjacent to Makima.

[lovely-showtimes]

soft moments . . . ♡ (part one.)

characters - honami, minori, akito.

type - scenario.

warnings - i wanted them to be the same length (ish), and akito's ended up being the longest somehow... and also the most filled with romance? i'm so sorry honami & minori nation

a/n - first writing post since my break! hope you all enjoy!! in case anyone has been wondering where i've been, here's a longer post explaining my reasonings for being gone. as i'm intending to do something for my favorite member of each unit, part two will be the last two characters im missing!

"Ah, Hona! This place looks nice, doesn't it?"

Your girlfriend turns her attention to the café you were standing in front of. She studies it carefully, putting a hand to her chin in thought.

"I've never eaten here before... Although, I think a friend of mine has spoken about it before." She glances at you and smiles softly. "Maybe we could try it out?"

You nod eagerly, taking her hand and leading her inside. The atmosphere inside the cafe was pleasant, with quiet chatter coming from the people sitting at the tables, the gentle clanking of cutlery against plates, and soft music playing through the speakers.

The two of you were quickly seated. The chairs were surprisingly plush and comfortable, making you feel right at home immediately.

Honami scans the menu, her face creased in thought. You can't help but think this expression is cute on her - then again, no matter what she was doing, you'd think she was cute.

"I want to try this sandwich," she says, pointing to an option on the menu. "It's something I've never had before, but it sounds tasty..."

She looks up at you, smiling curiously. "What about you?"

You hum in thought, scanning it for yourself. You weren't actually all that hungry at the moment, so you decided to get something light.

"Maybe their specialty soup. It sounds pretty nice, plus I haven't actually had soup in a while." You respond, leaning your chin on your hands.

Honami looks satisfied by that, nodding and closing the menu. Before long, the two of you had ordered, and were now eating your meals.

--

"Man, I'm stuffed." You sigh in relief, leaning back after finishing your meal.

Honami had finished shortly before you, despite the fact her meal was bigger than yours. She clasps her hands together, looking quite pleased. "Did you enjoy your meal, love?"

You nod eagerly. "Mhm! Your friend was right about this place, the food's good."

Honami giggles lightly. "Then I suppose we'll have to come here on dates more often then, right?"

You grin right back at her. "Mhm! Definitely!"

After you had paid for the food you ordered and were leaving, you gently nudged Honami's side. "Wanna get some apple pies on the way home?"

Her eyes lit up in joy, making your heart feel warm and tingly. "Of course! We'll share them together!"

Beaming, Honami takes your hand in her gentle one, and leads you away.

You hum a gentle tune to yourself as you set out all of the baking ingredients on the kitchen countertop. You glance over at Minori, who was reading the recipe carefully.

"Thats's everything, right?"

After some thought, Minori beams and nods happily. "Mhm! That's all the ingredients we need! Now we can finally get to actually making the cupcakes!"

You excitedly clap your hands together, bouncing on the tips of your feet. You've always dreamed about baking with your girlfriend... it seemed so romantic to you!

"Let's get to it!" You exclaim, causing Minori to also bounce on her feet and lean over the recipe.

"Okay... First we need to measure out the flour..."

---

The entire time the two of you had been baking, you had been hoping for some way to let you do a sweet romantic gesture for your girlfriend. Maybe when she's having trouble with something, I'll wrap my arms around her from behind and help her with it! Hehe, I'm sure that would make her swoon!

Despite your mini fantasies, however, no such opportunity arose. Minori was actually a really capable baker, which you probably should have guessed - she does work at a cafe, after all. You couldn't be too disappointed about this though, you had made a delicious batch of cupcakes! Well, you'd hoped so. They weren't done yet, they had just been put into the oven.

Minori hums a tune to herself as she starts putting the ingredients away. You had been a little zoned out as you watched her, before quickly snapping out of it and realising you should help.

You try to call out to Minori that you'll get the flour, but you don't manage to say it in time as you both pick it up at the same time and pull it towards yourself, causing the bag to tear a little and for flour to spill everywhere.

You immediately begin spewing apologies. "I'm so sorry! I should have called out sooner that I would get the flour, oh no..."

"No no, it's my fault!" Minori responds, shaking her head as she looks up at you with worried eyes. "I should have seen you were reaching for it and got something else! Oh, and now you're covered in flour..."

Well, you weren't covered. A little bit of it had gotten onto your face and hair, however. "Let me try and..."

Minori reaches up and tries to dust the flour off of you, but with her own flour-covered fingers, it only spreads the flour on your face.

"Ack!" Her worry grows, creasing her face further. "Oh goodness, I'm just making everything worse... I-I'm sorr-"

"Hey, it's okay!" You try to soothe her, clearly she felt more beat-up about this than you did. She probably thought that her bad luck was causing things to go wrong again. "Let's just put the flour away, and then start cleaning it up, alright? Plus, it's just a little flour on my face. I'll survive."

Minori still looks guilty, but your joking made her smile again. "Alright. And then we can pipe the icing, right?"

"Of course!" You beam. "But for now, let's get this all cleaned up."

You ring the doorbell and wait outside of the Shinonome household, hands clasped around the strap on your bag. You were fairly excited, as it wasn't often you actually came over to Akito's house. He usually came to yours.

Soon enough, Akito answered the door, his usual casual smile on his face as he opened the door.

"There you are. I was wondering if you were ever gonna show up," he lightly teases you, causing you to playfully roll your eyes.

"I'm a slow walker. Not my fault you live too far away from me." You walk past him as he shuts the door behind you. "Anyway, it doesn't matter, 'cause now I'm here and you have to deal with me for the rest of the night!"

Akito chuckles lightly as he leads you to his room, nudging you in the side. "Oh, the horror. How will I ever survive?"

You turn around and nudge him right back, slightly harder than he nudged you (although not nearly enough to hurt him). "Shut up, you love me."

Akito might have tried to nudge you back if you hadn't collapsed onto his bed, letting out a sigh of relief. "That's so much better... My legs hurt like hell."

Your boyfriend takes a seat beside you, eyeing the bag you brought with you. "Did you bring something to sleep in? That bag doesn't look very big."

You open the bag, shifting through it. "Of course I did! I made sure to put it out on my bed the night before so I wouldn't forget. Hold on..."

A few moments of silence pass. You shift through your bag with increasing worry as Akito's amusement at your shortcomings grows.

"I... It- It's here, hold on..."

Akito folds his arms, leaning forward. "I think you forgot your bedclothes."

"I might have... done that." You clear your throat and avert your gaze, your cheeks flushing slightly in embarrassment.

Akito shrugs, getting up and beginning to root through his closet. "It's fine. I've got this hoodie that's pretty oversized on me, you should be able to use it just fine."

Your eyes light up in joy and you smile, eager to wear his clothes. "Thank you, 'Kito!! You're the best!"

You jump up and wrap your arms around him in a tight hug, causing him to yelp and almost drop the hoodie he was holding.

"Your hugs are weirdly strong for someone who can barely walk to my house," he sighs and hugs you back, smiling.

You narrow your eyes at him and pull away, pretending to be annoyed by that comment.

Akito laughs again at your misfortune (which you think is rather rude of him, to be honest!) before sitting down on his bed, pulling his laptop over and opening it.

Intrigued, you sit beside him, leaning on his shoulder to watch the screen. "What are you doing?"

"We're gonna watch a movie, aren't we?" He glances at you out of the corner of his eye before pulling up his streaming service platform of choice. "We always do that whenever I stay over at yours."

You'd kind of forgotten about that. But it makes sense - what else were you gonna do? Talk? Cuddle? Both at the same time? That sounded really nice actually, but it was probably too late for that now.

"Right. What are we watching?"

"A movie Kohane told me about. Apparently her and An went to go see it together, and they both liked it."

Sounded pretty good to you. You trusted An and Kohane's taste in movies.

Akito made sure the two of you were comfortable before putting the movie on, which included wrapping a blanket around the two of you.

The movie played on, but you weren't paying attention. The warmth of the blanket, combined with Akito's comforting presence and the feeling of his head resting on yours was making you feel pretty sleepy. You at least tried to pay attention to the movie, but your eyelids were getting heavy.

"Hey, 'Kito?"

"Hm?" He shifts his head slightly to look at you.

"I lied earlier," you confess sleepily as your eyes gradually close. "I didn't forget my bedclothes. I just wanted to wear your clothes."

Akito is silent for a few moments, before you hear the rumbling of his laughter against the side of your head. "I should've known. You were way too eager when I told you you could wear it. You're the worst, you know?"

You didn't respond. You had already fallen asleep.

Akito watches you for a few moments before stopping the movie and putting it down, pulling you closer and getting the two of you into a comfier position.

"Sleep well."

[theepoetspoem]

I bite my nails now. A disgusting habit I thought I'd kicked when I was 12 and looked over and saw how beautiful long nails looked on the girl who sat next to me in social studies. It's kind of wild that social studies as a class exists, when it stands as the study of social relationships and the functioning of society. We learned about it for a minimum of six years, and then we go out into the world and see what we see now. History repeats itself in a new color and we all cry collectively as a community about the things we can't fix, bc despite the idea of democracy, we really don't function as one. I have things to blame. So many. But even at a very base level, how can so many be neutral to genocide?

I bite my nails now. The anxiety is subsiding. I read an article about how anxiety is like living as a trauma doctor. Each day you see the worst, and you fix it. You stitch, patch, administer, heal and then go again. One day it's slow. There's no patient sitting in need. But the adrenaline is still there. The readiness to deal with another catastrophe. Bc you know there'll be one. That feeling doesn't go away.

I bite my nails now. "It's called complex post traumatic stress disorder". I hear the word "trigger" and cringe. Mostly bc the only womxn I really hear use that word, are the yt ones who want so badly to be a victim in a world that caters and holds them in safety. I think about my actual triggers. I hear three kinds of specialists lay them out in front of me. The scientist that I am, picks them up, looks them over and nods. "Your findings are sound". I agree. I have triggers. "How do I fix this?". The specialists look back at me. "In short, you'll need to learn to love yourself".

I bite my nails now. As we go over my case plan. Meds. Therapy. Possible IOP. Group. EMDR. Did no one else notice I needed this much help? A woman on the television set talks about how there was a surge of need for mental health workers since the beginning of the pandemic. I laugh knowing I've gone through this entire process before, decades ago. Decades. I am aged. Now we all need help. It was only a matter of time after the fourth catastrophe of our generation hit.

I bite my nails now. As I listen to my therapist go on about loving myself. I think of how often I use a filter in my photos alone. How many likes and comments I get. I think of how I've even made pocket change convincing others that my nose and chin are smaller. That my skin is smooth. That the circles under my eyes don't exist. I hear the love of my life tell me I'm beautiful. Sorrow fills my heart, because I feel for a man who deserves much better than falling in love with someone who looks like me. I shake my head. Try to remove the thought like an etch a sketch. Why am I so mean to myself?

I bite my nails now.

I tell myself I'll stop.

I tell myself so much.

[shyvien]

Here are 100 random quotes from Asmodeus!

Sourced from the OM! Wiki, chats, devilgram, screenshots I found, etc. I made this list to help with studying to write the characters in character. (Not really proofread, sorry if there are mistakes. Also, there may be spoilers. If so, they're minor spoilers)

✧༺⚜️༻✧

“Oh, my ♡ MC, you little minx! Are you trying to show off my lovely legs to the entire Devildom?”

“But the question is whether you really mean what you say. Maybe if I reach in, pull out your heart, tear it open, and have a look inside I'd know for sure?”

“Then let's stay like this. Mm... Your neck feels soft, MC…”

“I can't believe you would actually imply I was a pervert! I only wanted to give MC something pleasant to look at.”

“Anyway MC, why don't you go ahead and take off your clothes so the two of us can enjoy a nice bath together.”

“Asmo's special cutie-pie kiss! Mwah ♡”

“But now I feel alive again, sitting in here with you drinking nice, warm cocoa.”

“Yoo-hoo, little ghosties ♡ Go on, feast your eyes upon me..!”

“Ugh, it's so dark in here! I can't take it... It's just so EXCITING!”

“You must be curious to know just how wonderful a punishment can be...”

“I'd have to say I'm most afraid of... me!”

“Since you're so adorable, I'll lock you up in my own little love jail so you'll be all mine ♡ So, don't be shy. Come here, Darling.”

“Oh, be careful around my ankles, would you? Too much pressure will ruin my perfect legs.”

“I'm hopeless at this kind of stuff since I've never lifted anything heavier than a facial massager.”

“To be honest, I was hoping to drive you mad with desire! That was my eventual goal, at least...”

“Hehe. Can't move? Aww, look how good you're being! Now, you stay just like that, okay...”

“In other words, I want you to be my plaything from now on, so I'm never bored ♡”

“Ugh, I'm so dizzy..! MC’s the only one who can save frail little Princess Asmo!”

“Oh, while we're at it why not take a video? For your exclusive viewing pleasure, of course ♡”

“I mean, I suppose I could put on a little show for you...but it won't be cheap.”

“..What? Are you stupid? Is your eyesight just that bad? Do those eyes of yours even work, or are they just there for decoration?”

“You want to do whatever you can to make me happy, because I'm worth it.”

“Hehe, now look what I've done. I got so excited that I pushed you down onto your back! Sorry!”

“Help, MC! There's a demon staring at me like he's gonna eat me!”

“And that means something coming from someone as ridiculously beautiful as me. I don't really say it to anyone other than you, you know?”

“I mean, I'm adorable. Doesn't it just tickle your protective instincts?”

“You're so cute. When I look at you, I can tell what's going through your head, even if you don't actually say it. That's right.”

“I'm sorry for being so beautiful that even confinement suits me! Then again, I always knew I was fated to be the captive damsel in distress...”

“Like, first I imagine a beautiful man and a beautiful woman. And then I picture us doing ALL sorts of naughty things to each other!”

“And then they had to do the walk of shame! ♡”

“Oh, you might be right! The runny makeup look can be kind of sexy!”

“I'll go ahead and watch you. Just in case you have any trouble changing clothes.”

“Hmmm? Like what? Mammon, you'd better get your mind out of the gutter ♡”

“I mean, here I am, right next to you, still wet from my bath. You really don't feel anything?”

“I guess that means I'M GOING TO HAVE TO KILL EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU...!”

“Ugh, I'm ready to die of boredom! So, come on! Dance for me. I can't wait to see what you can do!”

“That's our sexy Solomon ♡ See, I knew you could do it if you tried!”

“Really, you're just flowers. Listen to you bragging about how beautiful you are...it's kind of embarrassing.”

“Ooh, are you trying to figure out where WE should go on a romantic getaway?! Aw, muffin! You don't need to beat around the bush for that kind of thing! You can be honest!”

“Huh? You're my little dove from earlier, aren't you? MC, was it?”

“That's probably my pheromones ♡”

“You're the best, MC! Your dazzling smile has the power to woo every demon in the Devildom ♡”

“Whaaat, you're still alive? Well that's boring...”

“But first, I want you to know exactly what it is that threatens to rend a delicate heart such as mine to ribbons. So be sure to pay attention, love. Nothing makes me angrier than being ignored. Truly.”

“All of the eyes are on me, I charmed all of them! Just look at me! It's a sin to be this perfect!”

“Mmmfm… gonna take everyone prisoner… mm...”

“When I first heard that we'd be shooting each other with squirt guns and getting wet, I found the whole thing kind of stupid. But it also involved coming up with plans to drive your opponents into a corner and anticipating their moves... which I found pretty enjoyable.”

“If I were like Lord Diavolo, I could have any demon or human I wanted.”

“Aaaah, this is where I belong. Sitting on a throne!”

“Surely, tempting humans is what demons are all about?”

“And next time, you're welcome to be even bolder. I want your scent all over my clothes.”

“Oh my gosh! Even from behind, I am such a snack!”

“Ooh, I know exactly what you mean! It's like, you can't help but want to lie down together on a bed or a sofa and do all sorts of naughty things-“

“Butlers, you see...their services extend into the night, as well.”

“Aaah, I've never tried rope play before, but I think I like it ♡”

“That's a rather...traditional approach. I would've just seduced him.”

“There's just something nice about being completely overpowered and brought to submission like that, you know?!”

“Right now, I'm totally hooked on this exercise where I blow up balloons to strengthen my facial muscles. Do you wanna give it a try?”

“Filth? You should know that eroticism is a valid form of art.”

“I mean, I wrapped him in chains like you said, but l've got such soft, beautiful, tender hands. They aren't suited for such a rough job. Really, you should've known that…”

“Hehe. Lies are like accessories, hun.”

“But, I'd sure feel better if you came and comforted me. I mean, I'm aaaaall alone in my room right now. If you don't come over, I'll probably start crying on account of how lonely I am.”

“Let's meet in my room when the party is over. We can have our very own Valentine's Day afterparty, just the two of us ♡”

“I'm in desperate need of stimulation to my senses!”

“To think that even Mister Stiff and Serious Angel here is feeling his heart skip a beat...I love it! ♡”

“What the movie lacks is sexiness! Shall we add more revealing scenes, like me in a swimsuit?”

“...Ummm, is this some sort of joke? You look like a chicken in heat.”

“Oh, but with you it's different, MC! I only want to do your nails as an excuse to flirt ♡”

“Oh, how exciting! Better get back snug under the covers and wait for my impending arousal ♡”

“Yes, I do. I love butts!”

“It would be ideal if we were both au naturel, honestly...”

“Ahh, I feel so graceful when i'm shooting ♡”

“I left a dying message with lipstick, so you better catch the culprit!”

“Guess I'll just have to come over and shake things up for you ♪”

“See, I just knew you'd say that! Because we're obviously an extra-compatible super couple!”

“I'd love to. I'll make you look so good, you'll be drooling over yourself.”

“..No one will know if I take a single muffin, right? I'll just grab one while they're not looking. Yoink! ♡”

“Oh yeah, Satan is totally the type to start with the tongue first!”

“Look out, or I'll tear you to bits with my sharp claws!”

“Apologize? Me? I'm sorry, but I'm not quite sure why you'd want me to do that. I mean, true, I suppose an entire country was destroyed in the end, but how could I have known that would happen, hm?”

“Drastic times call for drastic measures. Step aside, boys my sexy dance is about to begin...!”

“Hehe. Trying to butter me up, are you? Tell me, what are you hoping will happen when you succeed?”

“I'm the life of the party. The eye candy, the one who makes everyone else feel better. I need to work hard, too...for the sake of my brothers!”

“Now, now, I may not be as quick to anger as the Lord of Fools, but still. If you don't do what I say, I might have to punish you…”

“By the way, your costume was really cute, MC. Just thinking about it makes my heart go pitter-patter!”

“And now I'm a demon. Which means I could charm any sorcerer, no matter how evil! I'll have him dancing in the palm of my hand!”

“Oh Solomon, THANK YOU! You're so amazing I think I'm going to swoon! I love you..!”

“A scolding? Ooh, I wouldn't mind being scolded by you, sweetie ♡”

“FYI: It's super obvious what's running through your dirty little mind right now, Mammon…”

“Brother dearest ♡ I'm sooooo thirsty! Could you get me some blood, please and thanks? ♡”

“My charm is the greatest weapon of all! I'll steal your hearts right where you stand ♡”

“Ooh, MC, are you on Devilgram and Fab Snap? Because we totally need to friend each other!”

“I mean, I suppose I could put on a little show for you… but it won't be cheap, you know? Also, I charge extra for pictures and touching.”

“Nuh-uh. I'll be the one to win that right! Prepare to be slain in style, everyone ♡”

“I'm actually quite exhausted. So, I was thinking you could hold me in your arms for a little while so I can recharge ♡”

“If you want to experience this exfoliating paradise with me, don't hesitate to join in ♪ You know I always have an open-door policy in effect for you, love ♡”

“If both of us are charging, there's going to be sparks”

“I need you to put some cream on my back for me ♡ Yes, a backrub and nothing more. If you, on the other hand, are looking for a happy ending, I'm more than ready, my dear ♡”

“Oh, is my little MC scared? Come cling to my bosom, darling. I'll make you feel aaaall better ♡”

“I'm actually going out soon, and this fastener is giving me so much trouble. I can't get it up by myself. It could really use a good tug ♪ I should mention that my back is extremely sensitive. The slightest touch, and...well let's just say it will be hard to hold back. So sorry if I get you too excited ♡”

✧༺⚜️༻✧

Number 100 is my favourite, literally makes me blush

I will be doing a part 2 for Asmo, he is just so chaotic and lovely!

𝑀𝒶𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉

𝒮𝒽𝓎 𝒲𝓇𝒾𝓉𝑒𝓇 ༝༚༝༚

[somuchbetterthanthat]

Jonelias week, day 1! Setting: no power AU // Prompt: Try again

Jon goes back. It's undoubtedly the worst decision of his life, but it also feels like it's the only one he can make. He does wish, up til he's reached the door, that the professor won't be here anymore. It's late, after all; the university is technically closed to the public by now, although that has never stopped Jon before, even when he was a student here.

But of course, as if he'd been waiting all along, or perhaps hadn't moved at all since their last meeting, Professor Magnus is at his desk when Jon enters his office, focused on a rather large pile of files, several old-looking books scattered open around him. Jon tries to swallow his fear, hand gripping hard the handle of the door, and thinks for the upteenth tme that, if only he had anyone in his life -- anyone like he used to have Georgie, a couple years back, they would have known better than to let him go and he'd have listened to them.

But it's only him, which is why he doesn't curse or run away when Professor Magnus raise his head, piercing grey eyes appraising him with something that could be satisfaction or hunger and gives Jon goosbumps.

"I'm glad you're back," Magnus says.

Jon can't help it. He scoffs. "You knew I would," he accuses him immediately.

"Please, let's not go this road again, Jon," Magnus tuts.

With his free hand he beckons Jon closer. Jon, heart pounding, steps fully into the room, closing the door behind him, and walks to the desk. Magnus's smile is small but pleased. Jon's mouth is dry.

"Did I hope that you would? Of course," Magnus tells him. "I've made my intentions very clear, have I not? I also do admit that, having had the chance to study you a lot those past few months, I did think there were greater chances of you coming back than leaving me entirely."

Despite the fact he's still sitting and has to look up to talk to Jon, Jon is all too aware of who holds the power here. He wants to be angry -- he wants to fight back, to snark, to protest -- but, of course, they both know that the professor has already won. Still. Still. Magnus wants Jon? Fine. But Jon is not an easy person to have in one's life.

"Who says anything about you?" he asks. "It's the Society I want to know more about. What you have hidden in your Institute, that's the most interesting thing about you. That's the only interestng thing about you, in fact."

Infuriatingly, Magnus only starts laughing. Jon bristles, ready to say more, but his words die against his tongue as Magnus's fingers wrap around his wrist, pulling him closer still. Jon's hip bumps against the corner of the desk and he can't help but shiver.

"I truly do appreciate your boldness," Magnus says at last, with such fondness Jon's stomach jump to his throat, "if not necessarily your denial. I have very little use of you lying to yourself -- we might work on that first. Now: I would appreciate if you fully committed and knelt down, my dear."

"Make me," Jon's mouth snaps before he can think and, to his horror, he feels a rush of heat go straight to his face as Magnus's eyes gleam with warmth and amusement.

"You've actually done your research," he tells Jon calmly. "You're well aware by now I'm not the only person with full access to the Institute's true ressources, nor in fact the sole man in charge of the organisation. I do have power in the Society, but not all of it. You have names. You've even realized that some of your old friends have already been initiated into it. I'm sure you thought about reaching out to Miss James before you came back here. But if it was only about the knowledge, you'd have walked right past the Institute's doors long ago already, isn't that right, Jon? You wouldn't have waited or hesitated, this is not the sort of man you are, in most cases. So it must be that something else in my offer appealed to you; something only I can give you, no matter how much you fear it, no matter how much your reason tells you it's a terrible idea. It must be that you are, perhaps despite yourself, as fascinated by me as I am by you. That you are intrigued by how much I claim to love you. And, of course, that deep in your bones you know you've been craving the freedom of never having to choose wrong ever again."

Jon stares at him for a long moment; it's not until he starts feeling dizzy he realizes he's been forgetting to breath. It's mesmerizing, he thinks. The way Jonah knows. The way Jonah understands. It's horrifying, and it feels so -- right.

Of course Jon was going to come back, even if this is the last decision he ever takes in his life.

"Are you ready to try again?" Jonah asks, unbearably patient. "I still have quite a number of papers to grade before we can both go home."

Jon's nails dig into his palm. Slowly, he goes to his knees, awkwardly shuffling until he is right at Jonah's feet. Jonah caresses the back of his neck, and Jon's eyes shut close.

"Very good, Jon," he murmurs. "I know it might not feel like it to you right now but I do promise you we will accomplish great things, you and I, as long as as you do not ever forget that you are all mine to do whatever I wish starting tonight."

[professional-bulshitter]

just went back to watching community again and I cant-

so this time it's about 'Regional Holiday Music' 3x10,, and adhagsjjsb it's so fucking good because in a manner it sort of addresses all the wants of the characters right? because to convince them to join the Glee club they need to be incentivised and the incentive in this case is what's so interesting to me:

because 1. it starts with Abed and we all know Abed and how he's all he wants is to be together and loved and he chases the belongingness that he didn't find before in the study group right? but also literally the only thing that cory had to do to get him on board was talk about making him and his friends feel better and be together,,, but also it's literally because media of any kind be it behind the screens or people singing is so much simpler for him to understand cause they are catered and made in such a way that they are easy to perceive and take in without it being more complicated and involving other people's feelings in it

which is Great on its own but the second person to get 'caught' is Troy (because obv Troy will follow Abed wherever he goes, because even when he can't follow he'll wait for Abed to come back to him and tell him about his side quests or just be there for him, but I digress-) but also it's because there's this one thing he's always wanted to be a part of and could never but then comes Abed giving it to him on a silver platter and letting him do the things he wants even if it is by providing him with a loophole

and then third is pierce who even though I loathe him, i do understand (ish) because at the end of the day he's a man out of time and place, he's within people he doesn't understand and who don't want to understand him because all he wants to do is relive his glory days instead of rooting himself in the present (which in large part the study group help him with) (he'll never be my favourite character or even a liked one but I see him and I feel sad because of what he is and always will be and the way he came to be this way) all he ultimately wants is to be 'cool' maong his peers even though both of them operate on different understandings of cool (and yeahhhh)

fourth is Annie which, is very very weird to me because we never really get to know what her song was, what her one wish/incentive was,,, but also is it really that hard to assume that she would cave in when confronted by one of the first few people that she could safely feel as if in the company of friends with? also and this is a straight up hypothesis but I do feel that Annie didn't really get a song to convince her because it wasn't that hard to do it because it didn't really matter because at the end of the day it started with Abed telling her that he stayed for that experiment despite being angry because she was his friend,, and this was her way if reciprocating that (because it was just that given, be ause some things don't need to be explicitly stated to be explicit) (but then why did troy have one? because he was technically going against his entire belief system and the way he identified and looked at himself and that is life changing in some manners and he was still the second one and yeah)... maybe

the fifth one was Shirley and this one is rather simpler because at the end of the day, she traces and finds herself within her belief system rooted in Christianity (which while not for mez i can understand the way belief systems can be very all or nothing for some people) and she just wanted to educate and empower children and people with things that she herself feels empowered by (she goes about it entirely the wrong way ofc because forcing religion on others is never an answer but I don't think nad never have that she's coming at it from a malicious position or intention

then we have jeff and like Annie it's very curious that he doesn't get something that he wishes to incentivise him (at least that's the way I understand that episode) instead, we get to see what Annie and further the audience thinks or is supposed to think about Jeff. He's still that impenetrable (hehehe) person that no-one can actually understand because yes he's an asshole but he's constructed in a very stereotypic asshole kind of way so that's all we get to see from him at that point in time (that's all we're supposed to perceive him as which is why unlike others he never joins in on the song) instead all we get is that he also succumbed somehow. but we're never told what made him submit and give in,, we're always made to look at him from a distance (at least till that point in time and show trajectory) and he might be the main centre of the show (ish arguably more around Abed but plot more centered around him (also I'm very very biased cause I deeply resonate with Abed)) and yeah

and then Britta who again doesn't get a song at all because,, and again throwing arrows in the dark here,,, ofc she has a bad voice and narrative voice isn't really imp to Cory and his performance but also because much like Jeff, there's an induced sense of distance, wherein she technically is supposed to be the main female protag at that point (at least that's the intention it seems to have started with) but in many manners, she's reduced to just that, they make her dumb and so unlike the other main heroines (and I will never not be angry with the way they changed her character post season 1) that at the end of the day that's all she ends up being (again till that point in the show's trajectory)

and yeah ,, and then then at the end of everything, Abed gives up on what he wanted for the group as a whole because he realises that this is not actually happiness that it's creating in everyone, because it's forcing them into roles that they've been tricked into and that's never what he wanted,,, yes he wants them to be together but not at the cost of the happiness of even one of them or all of them and yeah

also anyone that says community is just a silly little show, it is. But it's also so much more because the way it talks about created families and families of choice and being an outsider and trying to find belongingness,,, and in the end finding a place that lets you be the trainwreck that you are and helps you embrace it, is insane and great. And I love the way community as a whole does all of that while feeling so organic and experimental but also insightful and a well thought out piece of media with actual things to say and yeah

(also very unconnected to anything I've just said but I truly despise Shirley's song with everything in me,, I'd ironically and unironically listen to all of the rest of the songs in this episode but not that one (yes including whatever was going on with that Annie mean girls esque but make it worse and yeah)(they are bops honestly 🤷‍♀️)

i will go now but yeah I love community (also also last thing but this is the only way that I'll ever be able to fully digest random musicals in any show because community just does it better, I said what I said.)