#age’s character explanation is so bad just bear with me

[linkbetweenlinksau]

The last bit of heroes! They have shorter character explanations idk why lol.

Do not tag as LU please

Here’s the first one

[shouldhavebeenpersephone]

In GTN chapter 36, Cytherea says “None of you have learned how to die gracefully. I learned over 10,000 years ago"

Do you know/have a theory as to how Cyth could have learned anything pre-resurrection? She was not one of the original lyctors present for the resurrection and it was only 10,000 years ago. It could be hyperbole but I am suspicious of the “over 10,000 years”.

Thank you so much for the ask! I wanted to take my time with it, I hope you didn't mind the wait.

I actually had been chewing on this with my most recent GtN reread. Bear with me as I cut and paste all the pieces that form my thoughts on this - hopefully it's somewhat coherent to read.

Could "over 10000 years" be a hyperbole? Maybe. A lot of characters tell the 'truth' as far as they believe it to be so even if it's factually incorrect. I don't think, however, that Tamsyn would make Cytherea say it in this specific way if it was a hyperbole. In GtN chapter 35 where Palamedes confronts Cytherea we get the following lines, which are what feed my intuition about this:

"Don't lie to me, please."

Dulcinea said, "I have never lied to any of you."

Cytherea has no reason to lie, especially not after being confronted by Palamedes. She tells him herself - she has been giving pieces of the truth and using those to manipulate the narrative. Because of this and because it's much more fun if it isn't a hyperbole I see no point to dismiss it as an emotional inaccuracy.

So let's say she is over 10,000 years old. How does that work?

First thing I went looking for while trying to figure this out was the question of Cytherea's birth. On the fandom wiki, it states that Cytherea was born into the established Seventh. I have been combing through the books, and I cannot find anything in canon that truly confirms this. What we do know of the timeline and her age is the following from HtN chapter 9:

"When they first brought her to Canaan House, I thought there'd been some mistake. - She was just shy of thirty then, I recall. -

-Was she the first gen, or second?"

"Second," said God. "Early second. We were still experimenting with getting the Sixth installation up and running. Some of the Houses were empty."

Mercymorn spoke up: "No. We had it running by then. Because Valancy was with us, and Anastasia."

-"Yes, you're right. We were all there to meet her. All sixteen of us -

'Some of the houses were empty' is the important line here, because in NtN John 5:4 Harrow describes how the resurrection happened:

-You resurrected some of them. You wake up fewer still. You start out with a few thousand, then, later, some hundred thousand, then millions, but never more than millions. You teach them how to live all over again. You teach yourself. -

The houses are named in order of resurrection. The Seventh, then, comes after the Sixth, which should make it obvious that by the time Cytherea arrived the Sixth was already established - or the Seventh wouldn't have existed. Yet, for some reason, for John this is not as obvious. I have found what could be an explanation in HtN chapter 2:

He said, "No. I haven't truly resurrected anyone in ten thousand years. But at that time... I set many aside, for safety... and I've often felt bad about just keeping them as insurance. They've been asleep all this myriad, Harrow, -

The difference wouldn't be as obvious to John, because he didn't resurrect the houses one by one. He resurrected a chunk of the earth's population, kept them dormant, and piece by piece woke them up to populate the houses. Beyond the fact that Cytherea is never said to have been born on the Seventh in canon (again, to my knowledge - please correct me if I missed it), the following from HtN chapter 2 really seals the deal in my eyes that she was not born on the Seventh but rather woken up for the Seventh.

The emperor said gently, "She needs to go home, Harrow."

"That was never her home," he said.

You did not look. "And will the Seventh House accept her?"

I also considered John might feel Cytherea belongs at home with the other Lyctors and therefore denies that the Seventh is her home, but then remembered the following from the same chapter:

He said, "No Lyctor has ever returned home, once we understood the reprecussions... no Lyctor except one, who knew I would come to intercept her for that very reason."

He is talking about how Harrow cannot go home to the Ninth, and referring to Cytherea going home by returning to Canaan house located on earth. John also talks about the kind of people he resurrected in NtN John 5:4:

-We'll get them all back... some of them, anyway... or at least, the ones I want to bring back. Anyone I feel didn't do it. Anyone I feel had no part in it. Anyone I can look at the face of and forgive. -

Part of the same chapter I included above in combination with this one make me itchy almost. Harrow says 'You teach them how to live all over again.' That almost feels like it should be people who recently learned how to live. Like John only resurrected kids.

Think about it. He resurrects his loved ones and ones he can forgive. People who did not take part in the destruction of earth in his eyes. Who other than children could he really be talking about? Children, babies, who have no power to decide or influence to exert, who - even if they did have the power - do not have the capacity to understand the consequences of their actions. Whose memories will be easiest to erase because there is so little to begin with.

It then also makes sense why there were two generations of Lyctors. The population he woke up had to grow up into adults first. Why else would he have half a band of Lyctors trying to settle all of the Houses? If he was able to pick adults worthy of resurrection, he would have been able to pick adults capable of establishing his houses and becoming his hands and gestures.

One final point that drives this home is the following from the very beginning of GtN in chapter 7 when Teacher tells the Ninth about Dulcinea's condition:

"Dulcinea Septimus was not meant to live to twenty-five,"-

Dulcinea's hereditary disease is the same as Cytherea's. John did not know she was sick when she first was brought to Canaan house, which means that when he resurrected her, she must have been young enough to not be actively dying yet. Perhaps a toddler or a child who had been sick for some time - long enough to know what it feels like to slowly be dying.

So, all in all, my answer is that Cytherea was not born on the Seventh. I am not sure where the idea that the second generation was born on their planets of origin came from, but I honestly doubt any of them were born instead of woken. Cytherea claiming to have learned something 10,000 years ago would be a great way for Tamsyn to give us just enough to figure it out - this is, after all, the same author who gave us the big reveal of the second book in the first sentence of the first book of her series.

[aeroblossom]

more on albedo and rhinedottir

what is transmutation, if not rebirth?

okay. i think i figured out the motive behind rhinedottir's creations, among other things.

bear with me and my poor explanation, i'm also really bad at linking sources lmao. do correct me if i've gotten any details wrong. much of this was possible thanks to conversations with a friend of mine!

rhinedottir's reason for creating durin, elynas, albedo and everything else was to find the meaning of life itself.

i'm gonna try and make it as simple as possible to get, i hope.

so, back in search in the algae sea, during the third orthant - cater gives us a riddle, to which the answer is 'love'. some discussion upon alchemy and the orthants with my friend later, we decided to match the stages of alchemy (in rene's given order) to the order of orthants we travelled. that makes citrinitas corresponding to love. the third orthant is also the one of the soul. love and soul.

so here's an idea i've had for a long time. one motive for rhinedottir's actions may be that she was trying to recreate someone dear to her through albedo. someone she loved - be it a family member, lover, anything. with my friend, i discussed how rene quotes aleister crowley's poem regarding the womb of pan, which is essentially a void where all souls originate and/or return to in the time of rebirth. durin and elynas both speak about how they existed in some empty darkness before rhinedottir called them forth - but not albedo.

albedo's earliest memories, he says, are of traveling with rhinedottir. so.

'primordial human project'. rene's search led him to primordial humans. he tried to become one and failed. it involved dissolving himself to be reborn.

'primordial human project' - consider, albedo is not an original creation, but a reborn being.

the rebirth of someone dear to rhinedottir whom she tried to make a primordial human.

why? because albedo is her last ditch effort at saving the world - just like rene. like how citrinitas corresponds to the age of glory for empires and their subsequent collapse with the coming of the stage of rubedo, rhinedottir - khaenriah as a whole - knew its end was destined, and they must have known this. she asks albedo to reach the far side of philosophy and create a better future for them all.

think about it. societal collapse is imminent, your country is crumbling, the end of the world is near and everything feels so utterly doomed. and you know it. you know you're doomed. she must have known of the world formula, must have known rubedo must follow citrinitas.

in the hexenzirkel trailer, she sounds just somewhat reluctant when it comes to being called a mother. you know what this reminds me of, who she reminds me of? ruan mei. ruan mei, upon learning of the infinitely transient nature of life, sinks into emptiness. she can't show love to the creations she's made with her own hands. she knows so well how short, and thus meaningless their lives are. she fears forming attachment - she dissects the scientific meaning of attachment in her character trailer instead of seeing it as something people just do.

rhinedottir must thus have attempted to flip the last two stages of alchemy to prevent their fate, yeah?

if everything is truly meant to end, if it's all destined to fall from rise, what is really the point?

most hoyoverse games are about fighting this sort of nihilistic thinking. the character of otto apocalypse makes it abundantly clear. otto's character takes great inspiration from friedrich nietzsche, whom many people misunderstand for a nihilist. however, nietzsche's philosophies were actually staunchly against nihilism.

rene tried to save the world because he wanted to believe it has meaning. it troubled him that the rise and the fall are void of purpose, he wanted to save it because he believed there was a point in its existence.

rhinedottir is no different. there is no force greater than love. and guess what?

in wagner's play 'the ring' - the dwarf alberich steals the rhinegold from the rhinemaidens. the rhinemaidens tell him there's nothing greater than love in the world. and what does alberich do?

he denounces - wouldn't you know - love.

like rene, rhinedottir became the scapegoat for the cataclysm for her deeds.

i've expressed previously that the primordial human rhinedottir was trying to create through albedo may possibly be the third descender. one who descends.

so, then,

that may be what dainsleif means when he says "we will defy this world with a power from beyond", no?

[side theory :: i once came across the idea of the twins being meteors. the rifthounds induce corrosion on you, making you bleed. gold corrodes. and gold on the earth is also theorized to be extraterrestrial, ie, it came from meteor impact. so then, what if the twins are the source of azosite, or any other such materials derived from gold, that khaenriah now prizes?]

so, tldr : rhinedottir, amidst a world rapidly approaching its doom having learned of the world formula, seeks to prove it wrong, to prevent it, undo it - she tries to fight back against collapse by finding meaning itself. there is nothing more transient than life itself, and thus she sought to prove that there is meaning in something as short lived as that. i'm shaky on albedo being a life reborn, but i do believe it's not impossible. he could have been somewhat dear to her that she tried to make attain the status of primordial human - descender, even - so as to undo the laws of fate.

(some screenshots of the discussion, NOT in chronological order)

[katapotato55]

psychonauts theory/analysis/headcannon: an analogy on neurodivergence?

spoilers for psychonauts, the rhombus of ruin and maybe psychonauts 2 these games are amazing please play at least the first game. the first game is only like 10 USD on steam and it is often on sale for waaay less. it is a very good underrated game. also TW: mentions of childhood abuse and personal experiences. you have been warned.

I will mostly talk about the first game. Yes i am aware i am probably overthinking it. I think we all know the first game isn't the most accurate to mental illnesses. The original game came out 18 years ago and was meant to be a dark comedy game rather than a sensitive depiction of mental health. I am not going to go into that aspect because time have changed since it released and I think it is redundant, but if you want my opinion I thought most of the jokes were hilarious. the first game wasn't meant to be a good depiction, so i take it for what it is and laugh along with it. I think the fact I relate to some of the characters makes it funnier personally.

but no, today I want to bring up a head cannon/theory thing: being a psychonaut is a metaphor for being nerodivergent. bear with me, here is my reasoning.

1- Raz's opening speech in the first game. "you were born with a special gift, but the people around you treat it like a curse. your mother is afraid of you, and your father looks at you with shame in his eyes" "back home your powers make you a loner, an outcast, a circus freak, but in this dojo, in this psychic dojo, they make you a hero." no explanation needed, this speech touched me in a way even if it is a bit corny. This bit here establishes that being psychic is still very taboo in this universe, as if being psychic is seen as something wrong with you rather than just an aspect you were born with. In this point in the games timeline, being psychic is slowly becoming less taboo and more of a valuable asset to society.

2- Raz's family a little bit ago i made a list about how much i hated the interns from the second game and how Agent Forsythe's actions against Raz felt a tad forced. I do not feel the same way about Raz's family. why ? well for one Raz has known them his whole life, and that "psychics are bad" came from SOMEWHERE. It is also implied that a lot of the biggotry came from his mother more than his father oddly enough. i am about to say something that is not for the faint of heart. please be advised. are you ready ? Are you sure you are ready ? meat circus. OK good now take a minute to calm down from your traumatic flashback from reading those words and then continue. The end level of the first game depicted Raz's struggle with his father. Raz was constantly under the impression that he was hated because of how his parents talked about being psychic. then Raz's father told him what he REALLY felt about his son and what was really happening. this hit me hard. some nerodivergent disorders are genetic, like in my case ADHD. and when a genetic disability exists and the family does not know they have it, then often times it is harder to get help due to prejustice. it is the "oh we are normal! i acted just like you when i was your age!" mentality. my whole life i have been told that "you are not [slur for disabled that starts with R]! you just need to get better at school! stop being lazy!", and then later i would learn one of my parents was just like me and hid it for their own safety. i can totally see "fortune teller" as a kind of slur for psychics truth be told. imagine being told as a child you are not a "fortune teller" and that "fortune tellers" are bad, and you being told that makes you feel like something is wrong with you. You feel like no one in your family loves you. It could be that Raz's father hid his psychic abilities from Raz's mother so he wouldent be scrutinized, while also hurting about what happened to his family in the past. It was the "fortune tellers" fault he was like this, so how could he love himself for being one? A headcannon I have was that Raz's mother already had pretty problematic thoughts about psychics, so when Raz's father discovered he was psychic he hid it away due to how it hurt his family and how they could react. It is established that psychics can find out they are psychics way later in life, such as mila's memory of the orphanage burning down and her suddenly being able to hear the voices of the dying children. This is somewhat accurate to adult diagnosis in my opinion.

3- Whispering rock could possibly be a special needs camp note: there is a difference between programs that teach you how to cope with your disability, and programs that basically abuse kids. Fuck autism speaks, fuck ABA programs, and a big fat special middle finger to Judge Rotenberg Educational Centre (don't google it unless you want to be angry). this bit here is a little obvious, but i thought i should point out that in the end of psy 2, agent forsythe mentioned teaching raz's family how to use their abilities safely. as I mentioned, some people find out they are psychic later in life, which is pretty common with nerodivergent disorders. It could be that whispering rock is a way to teach kids how to cope early in life so they don't struggle with it worse later on. this one is a bit of a stretch i will admit, but i got something way stronger next up:

4- Dr Loboto Dr loboto came from an emotionally neglectful home. His parents would remove toys from him and he would use his psychic abilities consistently to act out. this is normal for an emotionally neglected kid. his parents did not want a child, they wanted a perfect "doll" to do as they wanted. they loved the idea of a perfect ideal family and not actually having a child. and so they lobotomized him. Lobotomization was very common in the 50s. It was seen as a cure-all for all mental issues. housewife acting out? being her in to get snipped. child acting out? ice pick procedure. 9 times out of 10 it would end up making existing issues worse, or cause said patient to turn into a vegetable, or even death. If you want a famous case, see president JFK's sister. This hits me hard personally in multiple ways. I can see this as being a reflection of how people would "cure" their autistic kids by getting them lobotomized, or how in the modern day we still try to "cure" kids by abusing them and hurting them. Sometimes it wasn't even nerodivergent kids, just acting out is enough for people to do this! One of the reasons why i was diagnosed as an adult was the fear of doctors and teachers wanting to dope kids up to keep them quiet, god forbid an 8 year old is a little energetic, adhd or not. dr loboto is a traumatized broken man that was forcibly given brain damage because his parents loved the idea of a child rather than the child they made. I am lowkey kinda proud that he became a dentist to spite his father.

overall, i have heard people mention that psychonauts is a metaphor for being LGBT. I can see it, but honestly i feel as though the metaphor for nerodivergence is more strong. truth be told: we have a very similar history of bigotry, gaslighting, and abuse. we are siblings you and I, and our brotherhood will last generations. We are brothers and sisters and neithers in our pain. anyways that is my theory, let me know what yall think! I know i can come off as a little aggro but i genuinely would love to hear your thoughts!

[zhaoly]

been contemplating some stuff bc of the whole thing with halsin's writing

and this is a thought that I've had for a while since I came from the dragon age games (specifically origins in this case) but... like... I'm just so so over devs using sexual trauma and rape as plot devices

I think more often than not it's handled really poorly, especially if it's a character/companion that you're supposed to interact with a lot and not just a throwaway side lore detail. with DAO it wasn't a major theme in a companion's background but there were some pretty heavy themes of just... rape in general re: broodmothers and some of zevran's background stories.. and i'm just like... i'm! over! it! (and i love that game)

as a disclaimer, i've seen people saying that astarion's story actually deals with this topic in a respectful and meaningful way--i can't speak to that for myself bc i haven't played it yet--and i won't say that it's impossible to write this well into a character's story, but just that my personal opinion in general is that you really. don't need rape and SA to write a meaningful story

i understand that some people might look at halsin's story and say, poor bby he's dealing with trauma from the three years he was used as a sex slave and we need to be able to help him overcome it and i'm like... we don't though. we really DON'T need his character to have been tied up and raped for three fucking years in the name of "character development." we really DON'T need him expressing that it "wasn't all bad" and there were "positives" to it. and we really DON'T need the fans bearing the burden of trying to rationalize this as his coping method since there's no actual rational explanation of both why they wrote this in and how they wrote it.

i honestly don't believe for a second that that drow scene and dialogue was written with the level of nuance and depth that people want to believe. i'm not knocking on people for wanting to believe it, just that i'm taking this at complete face value and think this was treated as a "haha yeah i was a drow rape slave for three years, funny little tidbit about me!" moment (after he fondly chuckles about the drow courtesans remind him of his youth, no less) and nothing more.

i also highly, highly doubt that they would ever have written a female halsin. if they changed nothing but making him a woman, i can guarantee that shit wouldn't have made the final cut. but somehow it's okay for halsin's character to have all of this sexual trauma and be a literal rape slave for three years and then to brush it off as something "not without its positives" like COME on

we can do better with character stories

that's just my onion

[wra1thguards]

Hello Mia, just wanna tell you I love Galis very much <3 and I love dad Galis, too. Is that mean Fehn is a demigod? Or she is adopted? Do they hang out a lot on Nirn? Or on the Isles?

hi!!! i’m so happy that you like galis, and thank you so much for the question! i love talking about my characters lol. i’m going to try to explain this to the best of my ability, but my personal canon and timeline is VERY messy so you might have to bear with me a bit. 😅

this also turned into a bit of a long explanation, so i put it under a cut. i apologize in advance haha

fehn appeared to and was adopted by galis and martin sometime near the end of the third era. since this is the case, galis and fehn’s canon is contingent upon some sort of martin lives au (but not for long lmao) OR an au where the oblivion crisis lasted for at least a couple decades, so fehn has time to grow up. i’m imagining that fehn was no older than a toddler when martin approached galis with her like “hey akatosh is giving us this baby” and galis was like “um………?”

anyway fehn grows up, they do a great job being dads all things considered. (though not without its flaws, fehn and galis generally had an excellent relationship. he taught her how to fight and how to survive out in the world) and when fehn’s around 25, martin mantles akatosh and (as is his fate) dies.

galis is devastated by this loss and cannot cope with it, and he begins spiraling hard. while losing martin is the catalyst to his descent into madness, the fear of losing fehn (who they believe to be dragonborn) to a similar fate is another thing that keeps him spiraling downwards.

naturally, he more or less falls into the influence of sheogorath. both out of fear of losing fehn, and, like, his rampant desire for control over the narrative, he freezes fehn in time by putting her in this magic amber in a tomb in morrowind somewhere. this keeps fehn in state where she doesn’t age and just sleeps until galis or someone breaks her free of it.

galis kills the elder council and takes other strides to violently destabilize the empire (what’s the point of any of this without martin, after all), then shivering isles events take place. galis mantles sheogorath and comes up with a plan to drag akatosh back to nirn and kill him and/or rip martin free of him. whatever that means. he believes that fehn is the key to this, and that he can use her to get akatosh to manifest back on nirn, but he needs to wait for the opportune time for it.

4e201 comes around and the dragon crisis begins. sheo!galis finds out about the ldb prophecy and finds this to be perfect time to unleash fehn upon the world to be the one to fulfill that prophecy. there’s that idea of soul-stacking in tes, right? if fehn absorbs enough dragon souls, she grows closer to akatosh, she can find a way to summon him, galis kills him and gets what he wants. after he kills akatosh, he wants to put fehn and martin in a fake universe that he has absolute control of where nothing bad ever happens ever but that’s neither here nor there.

the whole fehn being trapped in magic amber for 200 years thing feels kind of silly when i state it, but i also think it’s interesting how this lets her mirror serana and also, in a way, miraak. i also don’t think she’s _actually_ the one the prophecy spoke of (it was miraak’s “fate” to kill alduin in my canon but he fumbled so fucking badly), but by galis’s design and her being dragonborn, she was able to complete it.

i’m so sorry this got so long. thank you so much for being interested (and reading this!) and i hope you have a wonderful day!

[woodpengu]

As a person who loves to read and cares about quality in my writing, I need more than a single line of 5 stars to properly rate them with. And, no, the solution isn't to extend it to 10 stars.

Conversations with my lovely fiance over our love of reading whatever scratches the itch of the moment have resulted in an expanded idea. (note, the conversations were primarily focused on fictional books, but this could apply to more than that with some tweaks in perception/definition, mayhaps)

First: half stars. The option to give a fraction of a star to something rather than the total average votes from the reading community doing that for me... because I don't have the same opinion as someone else, nor does the rating reflect the same reasoning. "But that's what the comment/review window is for." My dude... I'm a complex organic lifeform with my brain matter defining me as an apex predator over the bear that wants to maul my ass. I have needs and laziness to put that bear to shame; give me my convenience.

Second: multiple ratings. Like, four categories of rating up to 5 stars (including, .5 and 0, please n thankies). Examples? I came up with the following (rough summaries)... 1. Technical Skill: Grammar, punctuation, vocabulary usage (doesn't have to be superfluous, just match consistently throughout the story), dynamic sentence lengths, etc. Am I reading a fictional tale or a textbook article; a persuasive essay or journalism on social issue; and does the writing match the intent? Which bleeds into... 2. Story Telling: Flow, emoting, pacing, clear themes, readable setting, etc. Is the writing too technical for fiction; too cerebral for YA; out of touch with the setting it's speaking from; misrepresenting a character's age, gender, [insert demographic here], or misrepresenting the themes in some way? Can I see myself sitting across the fire from an old nomad as they tell me this tale or am I distracted by the neighbor's cat in heat or the drunken minstrel wooing... someone (same thing, right?). 3. World Building: Believable, inspired (rather than stolen) concepts/ideas, relatable, comprehensive, etc. If I dropped into this world, could I discern what it takes to survive/thrive in it? Did I read this idea somewhere else before OR something like it? Religion, culture, philosophy, history, science, art, challenges/obstacles having explanations for presence or lack that aren't edgelordy or "because I said so". 4. Personal Feelings: The genuine, general feedback of the reader of [insert media here]. The biased opinion or personal thought of an individual towards what they've consumed. How did I, personally, as the reader, feel about this book/story/novel/manga/etc.?

Why? Because I've been known to absolutely despise a good book or absolutely love a bad one. Because I've been led on by a book with phenomenal writing only to encounter plagiarism within. Because the reason one person rates a book at 5 stars differs from another: some are personal, some are impartial, some are rating something very specific to themselves. And this all renders the average ratings on a book inaccurate.

I care too much for the above (world-building, skill of a writer, personal thoughts/feels) to settle for calling certain praised works "praiseworthy" in my own experience. No, I don't mean that I need everything to be Tolkien, because I would give it a lower rating in some categories than in others since there are ways it doesn't reach me as the reader. Books like "House of Leaves" or "Don Quixote" might be critically acclaimed pieces of literary brilliance, but they are difficult-to-consume pieces... which lowers my enjoyment of them. And my needs and mood differ throughout the day, which is why I have 6+ books on my "currently reading" list, changing up what suits me at that time.

It also goes back to recovering from complex traumas as a neurospicy adult trudging through the ick of the modern day. My brain requires more touchstones in the now, points of reference for sparking memory about media I've consumed and why I had certain feelings towards it. (Catcher in the Rye was a love of my youth and is far too cringe for my adulthood) Utilizing that data as a lens (alongside my stress level and mood meter of the moment) through which to look at something else I'm curious to give a try. And that's harder for me to do when the ratings and comments are vague and based inconsistently on personal feelings rather than the actual skill or quality of the work itself. Which adds to the common habit of traumatized beans to consume the same bits of media repeatedly (yay, trust issues).

Yes, I've been known to love a trash novel and hate a classic, but that's personal feelings opposed to writer skills. Which clicks back into my old post about critiques on art: you can hate something that is technically brilliant and well-executed... and you can love something that could use a LOT of reworking [*side-eyes Twilight*]. But the difference is crucial. Just finished a book that I would give 0 stars to on every category... that was gifted to me by a dear friend who is also dear friends with the author. But they weren't expecting me to love it as much as they were being supportive of their writer friend (kudos). Versus a different friend singing the praises of a book that turned out to be plagiarism incarnate with a side-serving of ick. Versus another person absolutely hating a story I enjoyed that scored high in multiple categories.

Point being... I need to live in a less-generalized reality.

[winwin17]

Nevermoor Theories (of mixed feelings):

Ok, the first part of the theory has to do with Squall, which is the part I don't exactly like. But I was just rereading the section of the first book where Morrigan is talking to "Mr. Jones" about the Hall of Shadows and the escaped shadow wolf. His explanation to her includes quite a familiarity with how shadows work, how specifically the Hall of Shadows works, and basically displays a notable amount of familiarity with how the Deucalion as whole works, claiming he stays there often when he travels.

So, while I know others have this headcanon as well, I really am coming to be convinced that Squall made the Deucalion. I mean, clearly there's so much Wunder involved, like in how the shadows "create themselves," and so forth. And the lake Morrigan ice skated on later in the series. And, not least of all, the way the Deucalion changes and takes different forms the way it does. Stop and think about it, and you realize it's an awful lot like those other Wundrous creations Jupiter and Jack tour with Morrigan when Jupiter shows her that not all Wundersmiths are evil.

But a Wundrous creation like the Deucalion existing under no official recognition as such, with no official link to any Wundersmith as its creator? How would that happen except in the event that said Wundersmith's name was forgotten or wiped from history? (Like Squall.) Also, I believe it was Dame Chanda and Kedgeree who noted that Jupiter took up the Deucalion as a "hobby" and that it "was a wreck when he found it." A wreck, as in, maybe it had been neglected and forgotten for a hundred years?? Because its creator was banished from Nevermoor?? Sounds convincing to me.

The reason I don't like this theory even though I feel like it's quite likely is because I just can't stand the thought of Squall ever having his dirty little hands on Jupiter's beautiful Deucalion. I can't stand that Morrigan's safe place in Nevermoor is smudged with Squall's criminal fingerprints. That so much of the very essence of what she now calls home is tied to, and perhaps even dependent on, the Wundersmith of all the worst legends. (You can argue whether he's that evil or not; I personally think he's a bad enough character that has caused some irreversible damage and done enough evil stuff to merit the title of villain.)

But anyway, the part of this theory that I do like still has to do with Wundersmiths. So we know they can live hundreds of years without physically aging. I'm guessing this is because of all the Wunder they attract and so forth. Therefore, I think that since the Deucalion is a Wundrous creation and is probably heavily surrounded with Wunder, that even any non-Wundersmiths who live there age better and are more well-preserved as far as bearing the marks of time. No, they won't live hundreds of years like a Wundersmith, but my headcanon is that they do age more slowly than the average person. (Which probably means that Kedgeree was either already up in years when he started hanging around or that he's like quite a bit older even than he looks.) So while it's not an invincible armor or anything, people like Jupiter, Fen, Frank (can he even age or die anyway?), Dame Chanda, etc. may have a chance of aging more slowly due to literally living in a Wundrous creation.

So, yeah. That's the theory.

[blurglesmurfklaine]

Stick Season (12/14)

Summary: After Finn dies, Kurt leaves everything he knows behind without a trace. His hometown, his family, his boyfriend. When his dad has a medical scare, he returns to Lima, one year after breaking Blaine’s heart with no explanation.

A non-chronological series of one shots and drabbles set in this universe. Based off the Stick Season album by Noah Kahan

Tropes/Genres: Angst, Reconciliation, Grief, Alcoholism, Mentions of Major Character Death, Mental Health

Track 8. Orange Juice // Day 12: Us Someday

Words: 1331

The party is notably not in full swing by the time Kurt arrives. The only people hanging around are a few guys Kurt assumes are Sam’s coworkers, some friendly acquaintances from high school, and Sam and Blaine themselves. It’s definitely gone slower, which is why Blaine sent his invitation out so late in the first place. 

Sam is the first one to greet Kurt, pulling him in for a great big bear hug all too similar to the ones Finn used to give. His heart clenches, but it is nice to be held by someone who genuinely cares about him. He shouldn’t. After all, he’s the one who left his best friend high and dry.

“You want something to drink?” Sam offers innocently. 

A flare of uneasiness passes through Kurt. God, yes, he thinks. I’m at my ex’s house surrounded by drunk twenty-somethings. They’re playing country music through the speakers. He’s never wanted to drink more.

Like a beacon in the night, a familiar voice from behind Sam guides Kurt out of his worries. “There’s orange juice in the kitchen,” Blaine says, and Kurt’s head snaps to meet his honey-golden gaze. “It’s yours if you want it. I’m… we’re just glad you could make it, you know.”

Sam looks between the two of them, sensing the tension that was absent a moment ago. He ducks his head and bows out without another word, giving Kurt and Blaine some privacy. 

“It’s kind of loud in here,” Blaine points out after several moments go by with the two of them standing with their hands awkwardly tucked in their pockets, mirror images of uncertainty. Kurt understands what Blaine really means by that.

“Is that old porch swing still sturdy enough to hold two people?”

Blaine smiles, illuminating the darkness shrouding them. “I’ll go get my coat.”

He returns a few moments later with the promised orange juice in one hand and a scarf in the other. “You’ll get cold,” he says as they step outside. “I remember how much you loved your scarves.”

Kurt ducks his head, heat rushing to his cheeks as they sit on the rickety bench swing. “I had to. You loved leaving marks on my neck.”

His ears burn under Blaine’s gaze, eyes moving from Kurt’s neck back up to his eyes. “Yeah,” he admits. “Still do.”

He pushes the drink into Kurt’s hands and reaches behind his head to tenderly wrap the long brown scarf around his neck. 

Damn Blaine for being so thoughtful, so caring, after Kurt’s done everything but. Why can’t he be easier to not love?

It’s too good to be true—missing Blaine for the year he spent trying to find the pieces of himself he’d lost can’t be without consequence. The other shoe has got to drop sometime, and Kurt rather it be sooner than later. “Why… Why are you being so nice to me?”

“I’m not. I just love you.”

His words strike Kurt right in his heart, sending a wave of tears to his eyes. He lifts a hand to the bridge of his nose, shutting his eyes. “I—you can’t just say that, Blaine.”

“Why not?”

“Because I did something bad,” he says, voice shaking like a leaf in the wind. 

“That doesn’t make you a bad person.”

“Yes it does!” He finally snaps. “I left, Blaine. Without a word. I left my aging father, my grieving step-mother. I left you. We talked about getting married—seeing that elderly lesbian couple we saw at Breadstix and I said That’ll be us someday. I broke every promise I ever made about never saying goodbye to you. You should hate me.”

“You don’t think I tried?” Blaine replies, his rising volume obstructed by a crack in his voice. “God, yes, Kurt, there were times when I was so upset and hurt and fucking… angry about you leaving. I couldn’t get out of bed for days in the beginning, I was so depressed. It felt like losing a limb, and every time I was reminded of you I swear I’d get phantom pains. But through it all, I never stopped loving you. I don’t hate you. Not because I’m not hurt, but because I can’t. I don’t think I’m built to not love you.”

Kurt feels like he was designed in a lab just to hurt Blaine. 

“That’s… God, Blaine that’s so fucked, though, isn’t it? You should only accept the kind of love that you deserve.”

“And you should recognize that you deserve it, and that whether or not you agree, it’s mine to give.” Kurt sucks in a breath. “If… if you don’t feel the same way anymore, that’s one thing—”

“I never said that,” Kurt quickly corrects him. 

It’s silent for a long while. It would be too long if it were with anyone else.

“I’ve just been waiting for you to come home for so long,” Blaine begins again, “that I never thought to ask why you’d gone.”

Kurt searches the crisp air around him, scanning the darkened landscape with his eyes as if he might find the right words hidden in the night. 

When Finn died, everything shifted, and Kurt felt like he’d been sent to a parallel universe. He fought off bouts of vertigo, induced by every flat surface feeling as if it were angled at forty-five degrees. Oxygen became thick and soupy, and with every breath he could feel it sticking to his lungs, making it harder and harder to breathe. 

One morning, his brother was alive, and the next he wasn’t. Without ostentation, without reverence, without rhyme or reason.

Lima changed afterwards, too, every nook and cranny of the town tarnished by the empty spaces where his brother once stood. Hell, the entire world changed, and nobody found it the least bit strange that everyone just went ahead and carried on as if it hadn’t stopped spinning on its axis.

“Does it even matter why?” Kurt pleads. He could sit here for hours upon hours and try to begin to explain to Blaine all his reasons, but there are some things you just can’t put into words.

“Yes,” Blaine says evenly. “I… You leaving didn’t hurt me because I thought you didn’t love me. It hurt because I know that you did—and hope you still do—but didn’t trust me enough to share the burden of your grief with me.”

“It’s my hill to climb alone,” Kurt says.

“Why?”

“Because it’s my fault.”

“Kurt—”

“I was supposed to be his designated driver that night.” If a year ago, he’d filled his cup with orange juice instead of alcohol, who knows how different things might be today. “But I was nervous about some stupid fucking final exam I had that Monday. And you know Finn; he always had to be the life of the party, the leader, the carefree Quarterback trying to make everyone happy. So he told me not to worry about it and poured me a drink. And so I drank… If I had just told him no—stayed sober like I was supposed to, he never would have driven, who knows what—”

“Kurt…” A wave of warmth washes over Kurt and he looks down to where Blaine has placed a hand on his thigh. “You didn’t kill Finn.”

“I couldn’t save him, either.”

The words hang in the air for an eternity, suspended in taught silence. 

“I should go,” Kurt finally says softly. He places the bottle of juice in the empty space where he sat and starts towards his car.

“Kurt,” Blaine cries out after him, and this time, he stops. He turns around, unwraps the scarf from his neck, and hands it back to Blaine, who looks like he’s been punched in the gut. 

“Thanks.” For what, he isn’t certain. Maybe for the invitation to the party, or the juice, or the scarf.

Maybe for the privilege of having met Blaine, who has a heart so big he truly believes he could love the guilt out of him.

[tomb-bloom-noctem]

Stupid vent ignore this but I'm mad about something.

It's been over a year since someone in the Sonic community accused me of being a creep because I had poorly phrased how much I like the character (prompt went, to best of my memory, are you normal about Sally Acorn? Which I responded "I'm sooo in love with her!" Which I didn't intend that in any form of a literal sense. It was poor phrasing on my part. The OP called me out saying how as an adult I shouldn't be talking about a minor aged character like that. I apologized, removed my post, explained it wasn't intended that way. Got called a creep anyway.)

I've gotten some serious internet hate before although most of it themed around my TA&TA fic. But this has stung me bad and still makes me mad and cry whenever I unfortunately remember it.

Just fucking drives me up the wall. Yes I am an adult in a fandom who's characters are teen and kids. I have also been in this fandom since I was 5 years old.

I am also extremely asexual. And I am also extremely sexually traumatized.

I get it's only one person who misinterpreted my statement and didn't care to accept my apology and explanation that it was a mistake. But it was a poor choice of words. It's not like I drew or wrote smut of the character.

The internet has buzzed some lately after Kotaku released an article about pornography featuring video game characters. With Sonic being the highest ranking male character and 6th most highest overall.

*cue my gagging*

Seeing folks tweet about that has just made that stupid interaction hurt again and again then learning shortly ago that an official artist is drawing porn of them. For fucks sake. I'm not someone who's contributing to that at all. Not on Pornhuh. Not on Ao3. I don't make it, I don't want it, I block on sight. I don't engage with sexual content. I don't want it. Meanwhile

Ken Penders. Adam Bryce Thomas. And I'm sure they aren't the only ones. Folks who have worked on the series officially. Making gross statements and suggestive or downright pornographic art of characters.

The Ao3 tag for Sonic being downright unuseable without filters because some much smut content is made for it.

And then the statistics Kotaku pulled there.

I know it's dumb to still be frustrated over but fucking hell. These characters are so important to me. But not at all in a sexual way. And being called a creep because of a poor word choice just. God I can't bear it. Even if it's only a single person who thought it and frankly I'm sure has moved on plenty by now, the idea and fact of someone thinking of me as a creepy pervert for Sonic characters has me royally upset.

[sixofravens-reads]

88, 89, and 134 also i didnt see it but is there a book with Found Family 👀

Hi!!

88. a book that made you angry

OH BOY. Smoke Gets in Your Eyes by Caitlin Doughty is the most recent one. She's very adamant about how we're all being screwed over by a funeral industry that makes you pay thousands extra for things you don't need, tries to upsell you on your loved ones' final arrangements, etc etc. Just made me really angry and frustrated bc like, what a shitty thing to be trying to make a buck off of! and it made me realize there are so many things I don't want done with my body that are inescapable, because "dump me in the woods for the wolves and bears to eat, no formaldehyde, no makeup, do NOT try and squeeze my dead ass into those pantyhose for a viewing, thanks" is not acceptable in this day and age (at least the wolves and bears part).

89. a book that disappointed you

Archivist Wasp by Nicole Kornher-Stace. i'd had high expectations for it, but it just didn't live up to them lol. The writing style was very plain, and I just couldn't get into the story. Some of the worldbuilding really didn't make sense, but I wasn't intrigued enough to read on and find out what the explanations would be (if any). I gave it about 70ish pages but it didn't click.

134. unreccomend any book you like!

hmmmmm which one this time...

How about The Lost Future of Pepperharrow by Natasha Pulley? I'm still mad about one of the main characters being fridged, after being treated horribly for most of her life and being on the cusp of freedom. Also, the author could've had us follow things from Grace's perspective, but didn't, meaning a lot of the actually cool sci-fi stuff never got explored really in-depth. Also one of the MCs is extremely manipulative and does the thing where he sees the future but won't tell anyone outright, just tries to subtly manipulate them into doing what he wants (or just makes them guess) which is extremely annoying, both because it makes him kind of a gross love interest and also because the whole "I could tell you but why don't we play a game instead" bad communication thing is very annoying to read.

Found Family

the Circle of Magic series by Tamora Pierce (classic), and The Serpent Gates duology by A. K. Larkwood, and Ordinary Monsters by J. M. Miro, I think (I'm bad at remembering what books have found families and what ones just have Really Strong Friend Groups, but I'm pretty sure these qualify!

[karmaphone]

Low Points of Avatar 2 bc I was forced to watch it

- we clearly cannot come up with another idea for a big bad so let's just clone him and download him into a body that he would have been unequivocally racist towards

- white people dreads and just generally the whole character of Spider

- sidenote, the dreads on the main character that were also an issue in the first movie

- green people racism against blue people ocean-dweller racism against forest-dweller

- generally gross furthering of the Native American allegory by appropriating Maori and other Pacific Islander culture & mannerisms

- a minute near the very beginning in which most of the animal near the camera is CG'd very well but the face and neck looks like a painted wooden plank

- 'despite the fact that I'm a whale I can communicate with you with words BUT I can't tell you about that specific thing with my whale brain you have to climb inside me to ask my brain directly'

- 'Haha yeah this whale brain oil stops human aging. We will not mention this for the rest of the movie and has no bearing on the rest of the plot besides a throwaway explanation for hunting the whales'

- children constantly calling their father 'sir' and nothing else

-entire plot elements blue jesus? ghost of sigourney weaver past? no seizures despite huge danger of seizures? never explained

- the entire son for a son thing. one of your kids just died so this other kid that you raised as a son is now your son despite dating your daughter???

-zoe saldaña's character broken down into just motherhood and nothing else, not even getting credit for taking down most of the enemies in the final battle and being scary as shit

- older brother: I'm your brother!

younger brother: the WHALE is my brother. bye

older brother: dies

whale: does not

[alligator-dreaming]

04-29-2022: I Think About This One A Lot

Had a weird fuckin dream that might turn into a script or a short story. Weird and meta

Before it started I want to say that I think I saw a thumbnail for a video yesterday that was like “best horror movie with no jump scares” and so I had a nightmare around that

There was a single mother (sometimes she was a dad because dreams be like that but mostly she was a mom) and her middle school aged son. They lived in a small townhouse in a small town in a swamp and she ran the local drugstore. Her son loved comic books, especially horror books

So it’s obvious from the outset that the mom has problems from a childhood of domestic abuse and maybe a bad divorce, but she’s doing her best to take care of her son. She’s not very permissive though, at one point he tries to have 83 friends over for a game of hide and seek or something and she says no. When he tries to lowball it to 48 friends she also says no. This is unreasonable in the dream.

At the drugstore the mother runs, the mayor stops by and tells everyone that there is a serial killer murdering people. The mother and the mayor walk around the store to discuss it, but when they duck into a storage closet for privacy, a trap goes off that kills the mayor. She drags him out and calls for an ambulance.

(Unrelated to the scene there was an emo girl covered in marshmallow Chinese characters sitting nearby)

At first it seems like a bad coincidence, but it soon becomes obvious (to the viewer, not the characters) that the mother is in fact the killer, hunting down the important men around town, winning their confidence, and murdering them. In one case she seduces an important businessman, lures him into disrobing and getting into the bath with her, and stabbing him to death.

(I mentioned the viewer just now. I’m gonna backtrack a bit so that things make sense- in this dream, the POV is from the middle-school son, with occasional omniscient narrator status. This becomes important later.)

Continuing on, it turns out that this whole scenario with the single mother with a tragic past killing people is one of the comic books her son has.

At this point, the dream is interrupted by the arrival of a school bus full of kids from another college. On it is my friend Jet from high school and some other kids I didn’t know as well. From high school. Jet and I reconnect and watch the dream on a big screen as it unfolds.

The mother discovers her son’s comic books, specifically the one that matches her situation, and starts to use it to plot out her murders and predict plot beats.

As the mother becomes more aware of the plot, the dream story begins to bleed over into the dream reality where Jet and I are watching it. The mother’s actions cause real life and the dream to devolve into a horrific animated Hunger Games-type thing with lots of different cartoon character.

(I specifically remember the We Bare Bears forcing each other into a centrifuge and being crushed to a bloody pulp by the force) other real cartoons were there doing similar things.

When the carnage died down, the theater where we were watching the dream had become the mother’s townhouse. The mother had been taking notes on the scene, and so Jet and I decided to tamper with them for the laughs. The mother caught us and demanded an explanation. After this Jet disappeared from the dream.

By this point my role as the person witnessing the dream, the narrator, and the son had all intertwined because of the breakdown of reality.

Now the mother began reinventing the world around her to her will. She switched her and her sons lives and made herself into the novelist who wrote the original story she was based on. She (now he) made me (the son, now transfigured into the mother) incapable of fighting back or even capable of anything but adoration for him with his powers.

This is the funkiest part

At one point in the display of power and torment described above, the writer (formerly the mother who turned herself into the son) put on an obscene sexual display that will not be described here. When I, incapable of anything but love, politely described it as underwhelming, he transformed and absorbed me into himself, trapping and killing me. But because he had killed the character I was bound to, I (as the dreamer) was able to escape in bodiless form, despite the reality warper’s protests.

The writer's powers have run amok. Enraged, the giant humanoid abomination that used to be the writer (who used to be the son, who used to be the mother) goes on a rampage as I run in disembodied form. It tracks me to a nearby carnival in the town, and when I turn to confront it, the dream resets.

The dream is basically back where it was at the beginning, with the mother who runs the drugstore and the son who likes horror comics, and everyone is doing there best like the events of the dream never happened. But now there is a father in the family, and when the son looks for the one comic that aligned with his mother’s story, he can’t find it.

When he talks to his dad about it, his dad tells him that he wrote that story, his only short story. Thus ends the dream.

[alwida10]

Overview of Storytelling problems in the Loki series

Characters are suddenly acting entirely different in comparison with events that were in-universe just moments ago without giving any explanation at all: Loki climbs on a stone to talk down to the Mongolians (= acts pathetic and ridiculous) in comparison to him facing real threads like iron man being calm and with the thread-appropriate posturing (= acts badass and in-control).

Changing the characterization and/or the character’s motives retrospectively: in Avengers Loki’s motive was that Thanos pressured him into invading earth (torture signs, the other threatening and hurting Loki on-screen). In the Loki series it suddenly was because of his glorious purpose which never even had that much weight before. As far as I remember it was mentioned once in the Avengers, but neither in Thor 1, 2 or 3.

Major events not getting any further attention as soon they fulfilled their purpose for the plot: Sylvie bombing the sacred timeline and causing all those branches never gets talked about again, after it was supposed to be a major fallout. Also, we never get the explanation what exactly caused the nexus event on Lamentis.

Telling the audience what they have to believe instead of showing the character’s actions and let the audience come to their own conclusions: in episode 1, Loki pushes his (newly redconned) motivation in the audiences faces to make sure nobody can question it. This includes all those little things we are only being told and are supposed to accept without question, like the fact people supposedly stop aging in the pruniverse since kid loki was there longest.

The main character feels passive and only gets dragged along by other characters and/or the plot: up to episode 4, Loki does not show any motivation that goes beyond survival. After episode 4, he supports Sylvie‘s motivation, which still doesn’t give much flavor on his part.

The main character has no effect on the plot: the TVA!Loki has in fact that little impact on the plot that Sylvie would have gone through the same storyline without him being there. The only difference would be that she would have been there one episode earlier, because she wouldn’t have gotten stuck on Lamentis.

Writing a redemption arc without addressing why the character fell from grace in the first place: A redemption arc needs the audience sympathize with the character to forgive their actions. Without giving the characters motivations for the evil deeds the new behavior can only cover the former misdeeds but never erase them. Oh, also this bears the very real change that you never understood what the character has to be redeemed for and end up redeeming something that never even happened or mattered in the first place: Loki being mistreated by his family or tortured by Thanos never gets mentioned.

Failing to show well-defined characterization, subsequently causing pale, muddy characters: until the end of the series it‘s still not clear if the TVA is ‚good‘ or ‚bad‘. Mobius regretting what he was done in episode 5 feels empty because we never realized he did something ambivalent. Characterizations need to be shown clearly and make an impact. If someone does bad things those should be shown as bad. But Sif kicking Loki where it hurts most isn’t even shown as something bad. Neither is Mobius treatment of Loki shown as bad. The only scenes where it was entirely clear who‘s the bad guy where Sylvie‘s (her kidnapping in childhood, her killing the Minute men).

Double standards - heroes are forgiven the same actions the villain gets condemned for: Loki wanting to take away people‘s choices is baaad, but when Kang does it, it’s a good thing. Arguably, this point could also be attributed to failure No. 8.

Deus Villain ex machina - the villain should be introduced early on the show without being revealed to be the villain. Otherwise it‘s simply boring. Kang suddenly appearing and telling everyone it has been him all along? Please. That’s just an cheating those who are trying to keep to think along.

Forcing aspects that aren’t plot relevant for the sake of including them: this is true for the bi-representation and the genderfluidity representation that seemed to be included only to allure the part of the audience that wished for them. The problem is - people will notice if your heart isn’t in a part and likely feel worse than they would have entirely without those parts. In the end none of those parts felt important or even sincere. But representation has to come on top of well characterization and not instead of it. Otherwise it remains empty lip service, like mentioning once there had been partners of both genders but never even looking at a man. And don’t get me started on the genderfluid representation. I’ll excuse the alligator, though.

Being boring: what even were the stakes in the series? I remember Loki being threatened with getting pruned once, but the rest was more or less left for us to fill out? Yeah, so entire time lines got pruned? I won’t develop much empathy if we never get to forge an emotional connection to one before it gets blown away. You don’t have to go all George R.R. Martin, but a little investment wouldn’t have hurt. Also, this would have prevented point No. 8 and parts of No.9.

[oxiosa]

Hi Oxi! Do you have any hcs about Martín learning how to use weapons and fight? What would be his fighting style and favorite weopon?

Hi, dear!

I do have the headcanon that he didn’t learn to use a weapon (or held one, for the matter of fact), until the Wars of Independence. I don’t think Antonio was a fan of training their kids, the more clueless they remain the easier it would be for him to handle them. That being said, Martín has always been a feisty boy who even at a young age was very easily lured into fights, so I do think he had his fair share of brawls rolling in the ground with other children. These childish brawls taught him to endure hits and give as good as he got, but they were not real fighting experience, were they? They just helped him build character, but it’s not as if it was any proper or real combat training.

I think he learnt to properly fight another man along the way watching the soldiers he fought with to kick Antonio out of his land. He was young and inexperienced, but didn’t like to show it so when a sword or a musket got shoved into his hands for the first time, he didn’t ask for help. He tried to figure it out on his own and I think it wasn’t until the men around him saw him taking a wrong stance or struggling to reload his gun that they showed him how it was done. So he’s mostly self-taught, his learning process involved a lot of trial and error and mimicking and well some occasional explanations here and there. There wasn’t really much time for training, so he learnt along the way.

The fact that he had no real training and had to learn mostly on his own makes me hc he doesn’t have a marked fighting style. I’d say the base of his close quarter combat style is boxing (no box expert here, but we have a few referents), but he’s picked things here and there, which makes his style blunt around the edges and unrefined but also unpredictable and flexible. Having no form makes him malleable and resourceful - he’s fast, smart and creative, and a quick learner too. He learns from his rivals and he’ll keep incorporating tricks even during a fight. To really sum his style up, I think he lacks polished skill but compensates it with attitude and a sharp mind. 

That, combined with the fact that he’s stubborn and resilient, makes him an opponent that even at a disadvantage puts up a good fight. He may not be as strong or qualified as other opponents but he is not easily knocked down, he has plenty of stamina to bear down hit after hit. And this exactly is where I think his strength lies. He is not overpowering, he just cannot be overpowered. He knows he's not particularly strong (he's not weak, but he doesnt have the muscle Alfred or Ludwig or even Lulu have to their advantage) and he can tell when an oponent is brawnier than him, but he is RESILIENT. He's got stamina and can take hits. His oponent might hit harder, but can they endure the tear and wear as long as Martín? They are stronger, but are they just as resilient as him? He might not be able to take them down, but they wont be able to knock him down either. He's a tough nut to crack, the sort of guy who doesnt back down no matter how bad he's getting it. He can take hits like a punching bag.

As for his weapon of choice, I'd say fists but that's really not a weapon, is it? If I had to pick, I def would say a facón. He’s an expert handling knives, not just for countryside work but for knife fights too. Look at these pretty bad boys.

[joyfulexperiment]

Joyful Experiment, Day #1: "Anna" Study, charcoal

"So I'll walk through this night Stumbling blindly toward the light And do the next right thing."

Art diary (and excuses, explanations) under the cut.

All things considered, I think this is a good start to the month. It's not polished by any means, but it's better than usual. Let me tell you the story of "the usual."

I drew all the time as a kid, but primarily for the sake of telling stories. I didn't make "hang-on-the-fridge" art. I made comics and magazines and newspapers and storyboards and scenes for computer games. Plenty of OC's, but I stole my style from 80's cartoons.

(Not my art, but very much the style I was learning from. Credit to Peyo, image from "Johan and Peewit")

Around eleven we moved to another province, and my pencil crayons disappeared amongst the luggage for months. I focused on writing instead, and write my first little novel that year. And thus I became a writer, not an artist. I honed my author craft religiously throughout my teens, and if I ever drew, it was mindless doodling during family read alouds - doodles of people who still looked weirdly like Smurfs and Care Bears despite being human. I went through a fortnight of sketching historical costumes out of a book, mostly for the validation from my parents, who loved them, but little of the experience stayed.

Then, I took an art history course that required us to sketch ten acknowledged masterpieces of the past. Our professor was not particularly picky about skill, as there was no artistic instruction in the course, and it was only necessary to produce something that demonstrated you'd looked at some art.

Nonetheless, perfectionist that I am, I spent ages on every one of those sketches. I made grids with a hundred squares and painstakingly reproduced every detail of the "Starry Night" and the "Muse of Comedy" and the Michelangelo-inspired philosopher in Raphael's "School of Athens." Several audiobooks sketched themselves into those works in the process - for me Rudyard Kipling and E. Nesbit are still heavily associated with charcoal fingers.

By the time I turned in my portofolio, I had rather astounded myself, because, while the work was nowhere near excellent, it was mindblowingly better than anything I had produced before. Because I was actually looking at the shapes and using reference carefully. My professor told me that though my art was rough there was something there and I should pursue it.

Reader, I did not pursue it. I seldom do aught but doodle, and I am capable of drawing two poses: Standing up straight with hands at sides, or with hands behind back. I cannot eyeball proportions, even making a character hold out a hand reveals that I have never seen a human arm in my life, shading tends to look a bit like leprosy -and just - it's a mess. Here's a good example of what my art looks like when I'm actually trying:

(It wouldn't be too bad if the character in question wasn't supposed to be a grown man...)

Things turn out a little bit better if I use reference, but frankly, I'm afraid to use reference that isn't someone else's art. Drawing from life or photos is HARD, because someone else hasn't made the artistic choices for me, hasn't chosen which lines are needed and which can be left out. But, that kind of thing is generally frowned on as intellectual property theft unless you keep the art strictly to yourself.

I want to start drawing from photos. I want to start mixing and matching elements from multiple photos. I want to mix ideas out of my head with appropriate reference. So... I picked a middle ground for this starting sketch. I picked a Disney CGI movie, because it's a bit like drawing from a photo, but still with a number of artistic choices already clear on the screen. (Also Disney is so huge I don't mind doing studies of their screencaps and posting them the same way I would just finding an Indie artist and doing a study of their work.)

It's a stepping stone - I don't want to stay stuck doing this kind of thing, but it's what I need to get the ball rolling. I'm not especially a "Frozen" fan, but I do have a soft spot for Anna.

Disclosures: When I uploaded the sketches I arranged them to be closer together for a more pleasing look, and I increased the clarity by 25% to make up for the greying/fading my scanner causes. Otherwise, this is the art as it looks on the page. For the large image of Anna, I did permit myself to cheat by tracing rudimentary markings to show the distance from eye to eye, from top to bottom of the face, etc, but I tried to avoid any major tracing. (It's from a screencap, not from lineart so there wasn't much in the way of lines to trace anyway.)