#agent 112

[tizzypizza]

“Hypothetically, of course”

Agent 4 - @yogurthoopsart

Agent 8 - @yewgi

Agent N3O - me :)

[riverdale-retread]

Riverdale S6B - Episode 112: American Psycho.

I’m surprised that the Riverdale production team managed to refrain themselves from titling this All American Psycho. Because that is what so many of their characters are both psycho (on and off) and All American! Charles looks like he could be a poster boy for milk and detergent. Same for Betty. Archie is and does all the stereotypical All American Boy things - abs, square jaw, lots of sex, sports, music, violence, dgaf about school.

Anyway!

We open with a meeting about the upcoming serial killer con among an unlikely assortment of people. Betty is surprised that Veronica could pull the whole thing together so fast. Ever gracious, Veronica demurs, turning the credit back to circumstances (a circuit of crime conventions already existed; Riverdale is an interesting town for murder fans).

First, Veronica is efficient and brilliant, yes, but we should never forget that she’s meant to be the head of a hedge fund, a master of the universe, and running the world (into the ground, inevitably because capitalism) but she’s stuck in fucking Riverdale running a little tiny casino. She is SO BORED. So that’s why this came together so fast. Lots of untapped energy there, for Veronica.

Second, women please don’t do this. If someone says that something unbelievable you achieved is actually unbelievable, then just say THANK YOU. And stop talking. The first time I saw a man do this (and by the way was he taking credit that was owed to others at the table in that same room at the time? WHY YES! HE WAS!) I was so sure that the skies would split open and smash him with a lightning bolt but nothing happening like that. He just took the credit and swallowed it and that was that. Do the same, ladies.

The people putting SlaughterCon together are hilarious. Veronica sits next to Archie, whom she has fucked, who is seated next to Betty, whom he has fucked, who is sitting next to Agent Drake, who wants to fuck her, who is finally seated next to Charles, who nobody should ever fuck. (Sorry, Charles fans.)

Veronica being the ultimate carpenter, the doer, only thinks to ask if SlaughterCon, which is a trap expressly set up to bring a known serial killer to her Murder Capital of Smalltown USA, is dangerous only after she has done all the work to set it up and bring it about.

What’s the quote from Anne Sexton about suicides?

Like carpenters they want to know which tools/ They never ask why build.

Veronica isn’t so much worried about harm to attendees or her neighbors (as Percival likes to call everyone). She just doesn’t want to do more body clean up, purely because she killed her body-clean-up guy.

Veronica. Get help.

Charles says, with a very creepy vanity, that he loves his ‘fans.’ He also deigns to speak on behalf of all serial killers which - please see above note re men having no qualms about taking credit and leadership whatsoever regardless of qualification. So, since Charles loves his fans and doesn’t like to shit where he eats, he assures everyone that TBK also loves his fans and wouln’t want to shit where he eats.

Veronica is secondarily worried about Betty (which is actually a great kindness and great progress for her, because Betty is also only tertiarily worried about Veronica. This is growth).

Betty says TBK won’t harm her, because he thinks the two of them are soulmates. She then outlines the security measures she’s put in place, including an agent outside her home to protect Alice and Charles (the ultimate redshirt lol). Agent Drake says she’ll be close by and this is when Archie comes in with the dick measuring contest. I will be too.

Dude.

Dude. Archie. Dude.

Drake is an FBI agent. You’re a - I don’t even know what you are. Can you have a little respect? Agent Drake looks very annoyed. I am not projecting my workplace meeting dynamics into this tv show. I. am. not.

I’ve never been to a con of this stripe, but actually Veronica’s program sounds pretty good and varied!

Simulated autopsy. Hybristophilia. Panels on Black Hood and the Starkweathers. G&G Tournament. 1:1 Sit down with Betty. And there will be live entertainment by Kevin! Not Sweeney Todd (were they unable to procure the rights?) but American Psycho because we need another Bret Easton Ellis reference. (RAB what is your problem with him? Was he mean to you?)

Veronica, Betty’s hidden admirer (BERONICA WHEN OMG) also dislikes Drake. Veronica is rarely directly rude to people for no reason, unlike Betty, but oh man the jealousy is very evident.

In a very dark-green-on-black room full of antiques and heavy ornate furniture, Uncle Fucking Frank and Percival discuss the need to mind control all of the workers of the construction crew because Bailey’s comet is making its 65 year return which is an essential part of Percival’s railway plan.

In a very brightly lit, simply furnished living room where almost everyone present is wearing some species of flannel check, Archie tells the striking union members that the union has approved of their strike and will send some sort of living stipend. And Tabitha, looking wonderful in her heels and tied back hair, offers to feed everyone and their families for free from Pop’s.

It’s not that I don’t want her to do this, but how is she affording this exactly?

There is a brief product placement for Smart food white cheddar pop corn of which Tabitha eats literally ONE.

Archie thanks her for the provision of the free food but doesn’t ask how she can afford it. She very discreetly hints at her stress and despair when she admits she has a strong desire to “keep busy.” That’s when Archie actually asks after Jughead.

Woah, stop the presses!

Jughead is still fighting off the cacophony of voices in his head. This is absolutely introvert hell and I feel so terrible for Jughead, a fiction maker and mythologizer who can’t control the voices of others invading his most private space. He looks catatonic in the Bunker.

Archie asks if he’s drinking again, and when assured by Tabitha that he is not, he is very relieved, and says a bunch of pablum about how strong Jughead is and how he’s going to beat it.

Meaning, I’m not going to help him.

Meaning, it’s not my problem.

I hate it when people say someone is ‘strong’ and then abandons them, can you tell?

Also if Jughead was drinking again, would Archie have cared more?

At Thornhill, Toni delivers the horrendous news that she’s going to be marrying Fangs right to Cheryl’s face. The tendons that stand out SO STRONG against Cheryl’s neck? THAT’S ME. The REVULSION in her face, where she has to lift all the skin of her scalp up to her crown so she can yank her lips into a smile? THAT’S ME.

Just in time, Heather, who has the longest legs ever, comes wandering in with a book. Cheryl introduces her as “my -dot dot dot - friend, Heather,” while gently caressing her elbow. Because we all do that with our ‘friends.’

When Toni stands up to take her leave, we see that Cheryl is wearing the deepest V neck cut you can wear without actually being entirely topless which is a hilarious contrast to Heather, who is buttoned up almost to her chin. Did she put this on because she knew Toni was coming or did she put this on for Heather? Both?

Toni invites Cheryl and Heather to her Bachelorette party, which will happen at the Serial Killer Convention. (“How apropos” Cheryl puts in. I love you forever, Cheryl Blossom.)

After Toni’s departure, Heather very sweetly asks Cheryl if she’s doing ok which of course, she is not. Cheryl delivers the most I Am Not All Right speech, using all the words of defense she can think of.

Next we are at Slaughter Con!

Why is Veronica dressed like Dorothy Gale? All the attendees for some reason really love the idea of a musical number (this is the most unrealistic thing ever). Veronica said Kevin promised to bring 1980s pizzazz but I think these suits that all these men are wearing are too tame. Kevin is a lovely singer, I love his singing voice, but he cannot sell choreography.

Betty sees a Black Hood in the crowd. They advance towards each other, and this Black Hood takes out a knife. He is apprehended by Betty and Archie. He turns out to be a wild eyed young man with a very Kermit the Frog voice, who says he bought the real Black Hood murder weapon from e-Slay. He wanted an autograph from Betty, because she’s practically one of them. When she doesn’t reject him outright, he actually starts to beg for her to kill him. Archie hauls him out of there as Kevin warbles, “I’m not a common man” over the proceedings like that means something.

Percival comes to the relocated Diner in order to do the mind control on everyone who is getting a free lunch there. Fangs is the first to go. You know how he was supposed to use Baby Anthony (whom he has still never, ever picked up) as the anchor? Archie using Fred as his anchor worked because even though he was an absolutely shit son through and through, Archie really did love his dad and reveres him still. The fact that Fangs cannot use Anthony as an anchor says nothing good about him. This feat of mind control on all of the workers gives Percival a nose bleed. (Nosebleed to denote extreme strain is so gross, I hate it. I’d rather people shit themselves.)

Back at SlaughterCon, Agent Drank is getting her full Jughead one. Even her presentation boards look like murder boards ©. She has the same smug, talk down delivery using overly large words as Jughead. Hybristophilia is a kink that means you are turned on by law breaking and evil doing. Innate attraction to the dark side of life, is what she says and I’m fascinated by her shirt which has stripes that look like cut outs.

Archie doesn’t understand why anyone would be drawn to ‘that kind of thing.’ Uh. Betty and Jughead and Veronica are all attracted to him, and Betty, as representative, looks very uncomfortable and lies that she doesn’t know, because that’s what Betty does.

Tabitha summons Archie to the Diner.

Kevin is visited by an irate Cheryl dressed like an actual witch, and carrying a book of dark magic.

Tabitha, Toni and Fangs are trying to figure out a way to free everyone from mind control. So the three of them decide to go and remind everyone of their tethers. Tabitha says they’re going to use music.

Cheryl and KevKev do a wedge spell, without specifying what the wedge is, against Foni. Normally I don’t like this sort of thing - bitter exes that wish ill are not cool - but I am with team Dark Magic on this one.

Tabitha, Toni and Fangs and all the families of the workers go to the worksite and sing a song and it works. Fangs breaks out of it first, which I guess deserves some sort of recognition, but his commitment to never, ever holding Baby Anthony is absolute. I don’t know if the show means for it to be a character beat or if they have an actual live baby whose mother will not let the particular actor hold her baby, but it’s so very very weird.

Back at SlaughterCon, Agent Drake is being Jughead to Betty as she talks about herself and her goals and her problems, and then she shoots her shot. “I’m attracted to you,” is what she says after making fun of Archie as “the boyfriend.”

I feel so bad for Agent Drake. “We have so much in common” is usually a great thing between two people who feel an attraction towards each other, but not if you’re Betty Cooper who absolutely despises herself and everything she comes from. She doesn’t want to fuck someone she has anything in common with.

“I’ve been picking up vibes from you,” Drake also says, and Betty looks as happy as she’s looked in ages.

We cut to Betty being woken up in glowing sunlight with a cup of coffee delivered to her by Agent Drake in a gray T shirt and nothing but. (OK, OK. Show? OK. I got it. Drake = Girl Jughead. Yes. OK?).

It turns out to be a super repressed wet dream. (Who the hell dreams about this? Also is this what’s missing from the Barchie relationship? Tenderness? Sweetness?)

Shout out to the tumblrina tha pointed out that when Betty wakes up for real, it’s in the cold, blue, depressing light of heteronormativity. Over breakfast with The Boyfriend, Betty tells Archie he doesn’t have to attend the Con, but then feels disappointed at his evident relief at not attending a thing that she finds important and fascinating.

Cheryl comes by with baked goods to the Foni apartment, to be told that Baby Anthony has colic and a fever. She becomes convinced that she is the one who gave these extremely common conditions to this baby through her magic. Cheryl, freaked out, runs back to cancel the spell, along with Kevin. Kevin says the most Kevin thing ever: This is your fault.

Veronica is seated under her own portrait when Betty tells her that Agent Drake tried to ask her out.

“She professed her love for you, like out of some romance novel?” asks Veronica, her voice dripping with contempt.

Uh. What Drake actually did was declare, I am attracted to you and I think you like me to, so how about it?

Veronica is so jealous. She has to be saying what she wishes she would do. I mean, she knows Betty, has known Betty and of course has done a romance novel thing for Betty when she was a girl: Declared that she loved Betty and then drank poison on her behalf, while they were both in ballgowns. I mean. Girl. GIRL. Get it together.

And I try. I try to stay liking Betty, but she’s kind of shit. She agrees with Veronica who wholesale slanders Drake by calling her ‘unprofessional.’ I mean. She specifically went over there to show off to Veronica that she got hit on by this cool, sexy woman.

“But it’s started to make me think,” begins Betty.

“Uh oh,” Veronica replies.

BURN. Omg. What.

Betty just glides right over that, to be an absolute shit to Veronica. She consults about her problems (this is so tiresome - does Betty literally never talk about anything other than herself and her deeply personal concerns?) with Archie to the girl who wanted to live with Archie as a tradwife just a little while ago (and all the history blah blah).

Veronica forbids Betty from pursuing things with Drake even though she has no rebuttals to statements like Betty pointing out that ‘on paper’ she and Drake are compatible, and also Betty miming with her entire face that she is in fact attracted to Drake and further that she had ‘a dream’ about the woman, which she strongly implies was sexual. She just doesn’t want it to happen. This is a weird form of control - Betty has just confessed to Veronica that she finds herself unable to achieve true intimacy (being ‘herself’) with Archie, which is exactly the problem that Veronica had with Archie, and yet Veronica’s advice to Betty is to forgo a viable, fresh option with an attractive, compatible person, to stay with Archie.

Is this like, an ex girlfriend version of the “I hope you have children just like you” curse from parents?

Veronica charges over to Drake to tell Drake that it’s not cool for Drake to have confessed her “attraction” to Betty. Which means actually then Betty DID NOT LIE about what actually transpired and it was Veronica who deeply overreacted. Veronica’s pleased smile after Drake takes a dignified leave of this unwarranted, over-stepping conversation is so sad to me. Veronica, please figure it out.

Heather undoes the dark magic that’s been placed on Baby Anthony. She seems to be Archie Coded - she’s a librarian, midwife, nightnurse on top of being a necromancer and witch. Everyone thanks her.

Can someone please tell me why Fangs never, ever touches his son?

Alice interviews Betty at the highlight of the SlaughterCon. Alice’s way of being a moderator is so cheesy. People are here to be fans of Betty Cooper. TBK gives the panel a call.

The way he says “Oh Betty” is so campy and gross and I love it. I wish I knew someone named Betty so I could call her and say “Oh Betty” with a little moan in my voice just like him.

They keep showing us Drake watching Betty so we can tell she’s not TBK.

“It ends with you and me and a kiss in the dark,” says TBK, before hanging up.

Cheryl is getting a very gentle telling off from Heather about doing magic for bad purposes. Heather and Cheryl decide to have fun with their second chance. So they decide to go to the Bachelorette party for Toni.

We get a musical number which basically is all the pretty ladies in Riverdale doing a nonsense song that is a long list of 80s designer names. Agent Drake is there, which I don’t understand, but appreciate. They’re all just so pretty! I’m so happy. I love that Heather wears glasses even when she’s dressed up. ME TOO GIRL.

It segues into a blended dance number with Kevin etc on stage so I appreciated this transition. The music goes from non-diagetic to diagetic, not seamlessly, but surreally. I love this about Riverdale.

In the melee Betty finally spots TBK! He attacks Kevin! With a plastic bag!

Betty runs to the rescue but it turns out that um Kevin was both expressing how much he hates himself and was trying to be super very classy as part of his show, by having Dr. Curdle Jr. act the part of TBK on stage for his terrible musical which nobody is paying any real attention to at this opint.

Then Betty sees the real TBK!

Briefly, we spend time with Heather and Cheryl. Heather had a wonderful time at the party. Cheryl shows Heather her very interesting art. (I kind of hate Cheryl’s art style.) Heather really likes it, calls it breathtaking. They finally kiss!!!!! It’s in a very gentle, sisterly way until they walk off further into the inner room and one of them slams the other one onto a divan. Well ok then!

Next morning, Betty tells Archie that she saw TBK. Because Kevin threw a hissy fit about his ‘vision’ being messed up, Betty is going to take over his part, and hold herself out as bait for TBK into the bargain. Archie doesn’t want her to do it, and Betty says he has to just be okay with her doing insane dangerous things.

Betty is not sure she wants picket fences or marriage or babies.

This was VERY CATHARTIC. Finally. FINALLY? Betty can stop trying to find the psychosis in babies and children and just admit, even without all the nonsense about genes and whatnot, she just doesn’t wanna do motherhood. Please?

And Archie confirms that he does in fact want these things. They defer the very important discussion until after the mission to capture TBK.

Betty immediately reports the results of this very personal, very intimate conversation with her boyfriend to her jealous never-girlfriend, Veronica. Betty is so vain, and we had another cathartic (for me ) moment, where Betty luxuriates in her favorite delusion about herself, that she is ‘too dark’ for some boy.

Veronica calmly points out that she’s killed more people. Husband and Father, and a Boyfriend accidentally. Betty’s hurried, “You don’t have to go there V” doesn’t sound like a friend trying to protect another from negative self talk. I just think Betty doesn’t like being confronted with the actual reality that she is not that special or extreme or unusual, as far as Riverdale residents go.

“We’re all dark in Riverdale, all right?”

Thank you.

Just in time, Agent Drake comes to summon them. The creepazoid Blackhood wannabe from last night is there with a confiscated gun. Drake takes out the trash. Betty is wearing a very questionable checked pattern pantsuit.

We’ve jumped forward in time. Betty and Veronica and Drake are all sad that TBK did not show up for Betty’s number. I actually like Betty’s singing voice and performance style a lot, but I am not in love with this musical (it’s noisy and tedious and tuneless) so I was for a moment very pleased that we’d be spared more songs from it, but I just don’t understand TV show editing.

Veronica takes her leave. Before she leaves Agent Drake asks a very Jughead question of Betty: “Who were you singing about? Archie or TBK?” The question hits home, so Betty refuses to answer.

While Betty sings a song that sounds very lovesick, we get a bit of the Barchie greatest hits reel, and it goes by slower than the Bughead greatest hits flashback we got a few episodes ago that assaulted Jughead like a migraine. She’s in Archie’s bedroom when she sees TBK in her bedroom!

She rushes to her mom’s house. Of course, the unnamed agent that they put on Charles-and-Alice detail is dead. TBK has tied up both Alice and Charles. Alice, instead of saying, LET’S GET OUT OF HERE when she’s unmuzzled, tells Betty where to go (the garage) and then says Don’t Go. Like Willy Wonka in the first version movie trying to prevent children from being mauled by the machines in his factory.

Betty and TBK have a long discussion about the Nature of Betty Cooper. TBK says they’re soulmates. He’s made a hideous trashbag mask for Betty to put on. He’s pretty convinced that putting the mask on will bring Betty over to the dark side. She shoots him forthwith.

When Betty comes back to her dining room to free her half brother and her mother, it’s implied that she’s been gone for a while after the gunshot, and then they show us that it’s true. She sat at the fully set dinner table and observed his corpse for a long time.

Percival is very pissed off about how badly things have gone.

Back with Archie, Betty relays the events of the evening to her boyfriend. “I fear that whatever is inside my dad [redacted] - that it’s inside me too.”

Well. This has to be why I refuse to identify with Betty Cooper. Huh. Oh my dad isn’t a serial killer or anything, just to be clear.

Betty and Archie affirm their commitment to each other. To his girlfriend that just killed a man and is super calm about it, Archie says, “TBK didn’t make you a killer. Your dad didn’t make you a killer.”

Then he conjures a memory (another one of Betty’s repressed memories) where the two of them saved and nursed a little bird back to health. (I have to ask - Is it possible Jughead was there and they both forgot him like they always have?) And this one act of childhood kindness and veterinary competence is supposed to fix everything. Betty’s very worried eyes, that stay worried even after the kiss, perhaps indicate that life in Riverdale doesn’t actually work this way at all.

[dragongirl-brev]

Best 🪲s in the elite. Best 🪲s bar none.

[tanglepelt]

Dcxdp idea 112

Clockwork is tired.

Tired of the GIW targeting his son mentee. Tired of the Fenton parent’s threatening his existence. Of agent O and K.

Tired of the flashes messing with the time stream.

They may “fix” it. But it was always still a mess.

When an identity reveal goes wrong. Well he acts. Before it escalated, before Danny’s parents attacked.

Appearing before insert any flash or multiple flashes/kid flash. Clockwork demands they babysit his ward if they want to keep messing with the fabric of time.

This is the following conversation.

Danny: i don’t need a babysitter

Clockwork: there are people hunting you down

Danny: i can avoid my paretns.

Clockwork: and?

Danny: agent k and o have terrible aim

Clockwork eyebrow raised: and

Danny: okay okay okay so an entire group of guys in white

Clockwork:

Danny: fine and the entire US government. But i don’t need a babysitter.

[ashen-sky]

Personal highlights from...

Red vs Blue The Ultimate Fan Guide

In honor of s19 and the continuation of where s13 left off, here are some highlights from the ultimate fan guide published back in 2015. I've been re-watching the show and it made me want to flip back through the guide. (Everything is sort of in the order it appears in the book, with a few exceptions)

Delta appears as a guide of sorts with fun facts

Caboose's position is listed as "Team Rookie/Occasional Captain/ Church's Best Friend" (it is actually struck out in the book)

He is also the only one listed with the title Captain, appearing as "Private/Captain Michael J. Caboose" (due to Wash "promoting" him, in the canyon on chorus)

Tucker is "Private First Class", Church, Donut, and Simmons are "Private"s, Sarge is listed as a "Colonel" under rank (the other Red's and Blue's ranks appears with their name while his is under "position"), and Grif is "Minor Junior Private, Negative First Class"

Wash used to be a chronic bed wetter (thanks D)

There's also a six page transcript of his psych eval prior to PF where we find out he injured a commanding officer because he wanted to "send everyone to their deaths", he also put a former bully through a mirror in fifth-grade

Grif is stated to have been assigned to Blood Gulch because he was the only survivor of an alien attack on a colony during the great war, he fell asleep at his post and everyone assumed he was KIA

Donut's position is listed as "On all fours... cleaning Red bade"

Doc's profile is "Doc/ O'Malley" and the whole thing lists both their interests, i.e "Position: Canyon Medic, Galactic Overlord"

Andy's (the bomb) name is "Andrew D. Kaboom"

Sheila and Filss share a page

Tex's notable attributes are "Kicking ass (and nuts), being a mean lady, and resurrection"

The password to unlock the file on Beta that CT left behind was "Allison" (Thanks again D)

York's page comments "Several reports were filed against Agent York claiming he and Agent Carolina had something of a "personal" relationship [...] Freelancer Command was unable to find any proof to support these accusations."

One of his notable attributes is "watching his right side" and his position is "team scoundrel"

Eta and iota (Carolina's AIs) were "fear and happiness"

According to the official time line, Carolina was around 6 when Allison died (Allison died 23 years before Blood Gulch and Carolina was born 29 years before)

Wyoming's real name is Reginald

South Dakota's Status is listed as "Extra Crispy"

Smith once spent two days contemplating in silence what Caboose meant when he said his favorite color was "Happy"

Dr. Grey's position is "(Mad) Doctor", she was considered a prodigy at age 11 when she diagnosed every patient in House M.D. within five minutes of their introduction, and she thinks Grey's Anatomy is "far too trite"

Felix and Locus' names are listed as Unknown in the book, but I do believe their names were revealed in a s14 episode

The counselor advised the director to tell Tex that Alpha was in Blood Gulch to protect him and stop her from investigating the project

Notable Features of Blood Gulch include "Avoid Tucker's Rock at all costs, as it has not been properly sterilized"

BTS from D: The opening shot of Season 6 was created by shooting players moving in different quadrants and combining the shots"

Important events at High Ground, "Washington killed Agent south in cold blood- with a much less cold flamethrower."

Fact from D: "Once a year, Reds and Blues stationed at Rat's Nest still pay tribute to Agent Alabama by sending a flaming mongoose soaring through the night sky."

Donut likes to spend his leisure time in Federal Army Outpost 37, in the jail cells in handcuffs

The statistics pages, 9 pages of stats from number of robots murdered (112) to Church's sniper rifle accuracy (9.3%)

Bow Chicka Bow Wow was first said in season 4, and Simmons never sucked up in season 12, season one had the most "son of a bitch"s at 14 Donut made 32 accidental innuendos, and the odd number of pedals in vehicles was called out on five occasions Tucker has the highest kill count of all reds and blues (counting wash and Tex), at 24 followed by donut at 22 and Tex at 21, Caboose is the lowest at 2 raised by Lopez and 3 and Church at 8 Sarge has threatened/wished death on Grif 56 times, and Donut has nearly died five times Seasons 2 and 9 had the lowest kill counts Carolina had the highest flash back kills at 68 in season ten, and the twins are tied at 23 kills in season nine

Tex's attack to free Alpha was 2 years before Blood Gulch, the great war ended 1 year after Alpha arrived in Blood Gulch and after the Wyoming incident in Blood Gulch (where they tried to kidnap junior), Chorus takes place 5 years after Alpha initially arrived in Blood Gulch

The mission books has adorable illustrations (they look like Caboose's guides from s14)

There's a mindmap for all the Leonard and Allison iterations and they they connect

Sarge has a guide on how to build a robot, scented lube is preferred, along with mad scientist goggles, a cup of baking soda, and seventeen tablespoons of sugar

More silly plans with fun diagrams

Donut's diary, D tells us that Donut washes his underwear on tuesday's

Caboose's Wisdom section on: feelings, relationships, army etiquette (including gems like crayons don't work as bullets. Use markers.), life, and the reds and blues

Simmons made a text based adventure games

BTS from D, the story of Simmons refusing to go to the Vegas Quadrant is a reference to Gus Sorola (Simmons' VA) refusing to go to Las Vegas with the rest of the rvb creators

You can find the case against Sergeant Grif from the reds at rat's Nest (he was selling red team's ammo to Caboose before he was locked up in the brig, Private Jones wore a wire tap to help the red's catch Grif's under the table dealings)

Leonard met Allison in the mess hall during basic training where he pissed off another recruit and Allison had to save his ass (Church was right, Carolina get's her temper from her mom)

I'm Church. private Church. Leonard. Leonard Church." the only thing I cared about in that moment was that she knew my name. She smiled. Her smile could light up solar systems. "Kind of a funny name. Church." "It's Jewish."

I spent the rest of basic chasing after her. In some ways, I never stopped.

Here's hoping non of our beloved idiots die in season 19! I mean, I know Church will be gone, but the others... they deserve a happy ending.

Also I miss the freelancers and AI...

[transformers-earthspark]

WARNING: EARTHSPARK SPOILERS & LONG POST AHEAD

READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

Leaked Synopsis of Episodes 1-26

Taken from this video; originally a 4chan leak.

>101-102: Secret Legacy

> Robby, reeling from his family's move from Philly to the rural town of Witwicky, finds new joy and purpose when he and his sister Mo bond with the first-ever Earth-born Transformers: the Terrans, Twitch and Thrash. Tied emotionally to their human siblings by emotionsharing cyber-sleeves, the Terrans quickly become the target for cyber-human villain Mandroid. It'll take Optimus and his Autobots along with Ranger Dot and Dr. Malto to save the kids and Terrans, all while keeping their existence and adoption a secret to prowling Decepticons and the mysterious agency of GHOST.

>103: Moooooo-ving In

> As the Malto family gets used to its new members, Bumblebee hopes to quickly knock out his mission in all things Autobot. But he's flummoxed when they seem more interested in cows and games than the wisdom he has to impart, maybe all parties could do a little more listening.

>104: H.O.U.S.E. Rules

> Thrash chafes at the "restrictive" Malto family H.O.U.S.E. rules, and he convinces Mo to go along with his loopholes around them. But when the Decepticon Swindle does some exploiting of his own to convince Thrash and Mo to help him find his missing brother, they soon find themselves playing by a much more dangerous set of rules.

>105: Classified

> GHOST Special Agent Schloder is in pursuit of a Decepticon that is targeting kids (really a misidentification of Twitch and Robby). Meanwhile, Dot is put through GHOST orientation, where she learns that GHOST's intentions might not be completely above board.

>106: Traditions

> Robby begs off Alex's traditional Wakwak hunt, so Alex shares his family history with Bumblebee, while Twitch, eager to gain her own traditions, encounters her "Dad2" -- Wheeljack.

>107: Friends and Family

> The Terrans' erratic behavior may be reflecting Mo and Robby's anxiety about their first day at their new school. Or it could be something far worse...

>108: Decoy

> While out on a mission to capture three tricky tuneful Mini-Cassette bots, Optimus and Megatron have a disagreement about GHOST's treatment of Decepticons.

>109-110: Age of Evolution

> Twitch and Thrash wonder if they're the only two Terrans in the universe, and they venture to see if that's true. With the help of Optimus, Bumblebee, Alex, Robby, and Mo, they relocate the cave of their origin and find much more than the Emberstone. With the birth of three new Terrans (Hashtag, Nightshade, and Jawbreaker) the Malto family has grown. But will these new allies be enough to rescue Dot and Megatron from the clutches of Mandroid?

>111: Hashtag Oops

> Twitch helps Hashtag choose her new altmode, and it takes them for a wild and GHOST-ly ride. Meanwhile, Alex and Bee struggle to hold down the fort with the new Terrans when Dot has to leave for work and the kids go to school.

>112: Outtakes

> Jawbreaker is feeling nervous about his altmode. How does he choose the right one? A conversation with Mom gives him an idea: use a camera to inspire bots into telling him why they chose theirs! But when Hashtag gets involved, the scale of the project gets a little out of hand.

>113: Missed Connection

> When Nightshade's feeling isolated from the rest of the Malto family, they find a new connection in the most unlikely of places...

>114: Security Protocols

> When Mo, Robby, and their Terran siblings are locked down in the Dugout, there's no way to avoid longsimmering conflict.

>115: Bear Necessities

> When Twitch gifts Dot a baby bear cub for Mother's Day, the two of them and Robby embark on a journey to return the baby to its own Mom... who, unbeknownst to them, is tussling with the other Maltos at the homestead!

>116: Warzone

> Robby and Mo join the Terrans on a visit to the Spacebridge Memorial Park, but the memory of the siege opens old wounds... and more... for Megatron.

>117-118: Home

> The kids and Terrans sneak out for a night of fun in Philadelphia, but their dreams of visiting the big city transform into a nightmare.

>119: A Stygi Situation

> Jawbreaker gains a dinosaur altmode, but instead of changing into it, the altmode changes him.

>120: Disarmed

> As Mandroid secretly works in GHOST, Robby, Mo, and the Terrans attempt to force new cyber-sleeve powers to unlock, with disastrous results.

>121: What Dwells Within

> The Malto kids are lost in a maze of underground tunnels with a mysterious monster stalking them. In order to survive they have to team up with Starscream! But can they trust him?

>122: Prime Directive (or Once Upon a Prime)

> Robby's cyber-sleeve illness threatens his life, so Mo renounces ever touching the Emberstone and Quintus Prime shows Mo why she's the hero her family needs.

>123: Stowed Away, Stowaway

> When Bumblebee is called away on a secret spy mission, Thrash, Twitch, Mo and the others decide to go on their own secret mission to protect Bee.

>124: The Battle of Witwicky

> The truth about the Terrans is revealed as the Malto family makes a last stand against Croft and her sinister forces within GHOST.

>125-126: Last Hope

> The Malto family must overcome insurmountable odds to stop Mandroid once and for all, and save Cybertronian kind.

Posted Nov. 6, 2022

Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2K0HT1wyjqI (originally leaked on 4chan, has since been deleted)

Mod: Firefly

[whumpcereal]

the kennel, will & his dad reunited

part of the kennel. follows will's rescue; master list here.

content warnings for: graphic descriptions of bodily injury and scarring, med whump, mild body horror, references to mouth whump, references to past noncon, hospitals, absent parents, unconscious whumpee, aftermath of captivity, adult language

after will's rescue, the fragile cry

“Mr. Cartwright?” 

Brian looks up, blinking at the woman in front of him. She wears a navy pantsuit, and her dark hair is tamed into a tight, perfect bun at the nape of her neck, and maybe he would think she was attractive under any other circumstances. 

But this woman is here because of Will. She’s Brian’s handler, meant to keep the news of Will’s recovery underwraps until the Bureau is ready to put out a press release. Until they know what they’re dealing with. 

Brian Cartwright hasn’t seen his son in 293 days. 

He isn’t supposed to keep track–the counselor he’s been working with says that it isn’t necessarily helpful to watch the time so closely–but Brian can’t help it. He keeps a running tally of the days in the corner of his desk calendar. Sometimes, updating the long line of hatch marks is the only thing he remembers to do when he goes into the office. They don’t expect much from him, of course, and they won’t fire him; no one fires the guy whose son has been kidnapped. 

And Will was kidnapped. Well, worse than kidnapped, but Brian tries not to think too much about it. “Trafficked” is the word the FBI uses; Brian never would have thought the word could apply to his son. That there would be whole teams of people working undercover to recover whatever is left of his boy. But Brian’s spent the last 112 days coming to terms with it, ever since Tommy and Annie were rescued.

Brian waited with the Mahoneys that day. The team that raided Barker’s compound had been so sure that both boys would be there. After all, Will and Tommy had been–well, filmed together. Brian and Doug Mahoney had both had to positively identify their sons from one of Barker’s endless live feeds. The agents brought them in separately, at least, but what that monster made Tommy and Will do–what he made Tommy do to Will–it’s fucking burned on Brian’s retinas. He and Doug have barely been able to look at each other since. 

But the boys were there. They had proof that they were with Barker. That they were alive. 

Brian and the Mahoneys waited then, just like Brian is waiting now. He’d envied them then too. They had each other, someone else who understood the fear and the anguish of losing their child. Brian had tried to call Casey after Will disappeared, but she’d changed her number. He sat on the other side of the waiting room from the Mahoneys, and he’d tried to ignore the jealousy. He tried to feel relieved. But somehow, he couldn’t. He knew somehow, he guesses. 

When the ambulance came to the hospital, Will wasn’t in it. 

We weren’t able to recover him, sir. He wasn’t there. The girl–Barker’s daughter–she says he was sold a few weeks ago. 

Sold. And it didn’t take a genius to figure out for what. Not after what Brian had seen in those videos. 

Brian collapsed in the waiting room that day. Boom down, like Will used to say when he played with his G.I. Joes. Doug and Joanne were escorted back to be with their son, and Brian was put under observation for forty-eight hours. He thought he was having a heart attack. He wasn’t. His heart was just breaking. What was left of it, anyway.

He’s spent most of the last year wandering around with a hole in his chest. Truthfully, he’s spent most of the last fourteen years that way. Ever since Casey left them. He just never thought it could get any worse. He didn’t think of what might happen to Will. 

But who thinks of shit like this? No one. Because things like this, they don’t happen. Except, now, Brian knows, they do. 

“Mr. Cartwright?” the agent says again. Brian nods and forces himself to focus on her face. She smiles. “I’m Agent Madeline Hevener. I’ll stay with you until your son arrives.” 

Brian nods. There was an agent who waited with them before too. 

“What–” he clears his throat and stares down at the broad backs of his hands, “what do you know?” 

Agent Hevener sits two chairs away from Brian, but she angles her knees toward him. She glances up at the waiting room television. The cable news station is still talking about a late-season hurricane in the Caribbean. Soon, they will be talking about Will. 

“We know that he’s alive,” she says gently. 

“What does that mean?” 

“It means that he’s coming home to you, Mr. Cartwright.” 

“But–” 

Agent Hevener crosses her ankles and sinks back into the vinyl chair. “We won’t know many specifics about his physical condition until the doctors here have a chance to examine him. He was unconscious when he was extracted, but Agent Derringer was able to speak to him briefly before transport.”

“What did he say?” 

“Agent Derringer?”

“No. Will. What did he say to Agent Derringer?” 

Agent Hevener’s green eyes soften a little. “I don’t know, sir. He was likely in shock, and sometimes, people aren’t very communicative when they’re in such a state.” 

“Oh,” Brian says numbly. He doesn’t like the way she’s looking at him. Like she knows something he doesn’t. 

“The important thing is that he’ll be here soon.” 

“Yeah.” 

“I want to prepare you for that, sir.” 

Brian scrubs his face with his palm. “What do you mean?” He asks, even though he’s under no illusions that anyone can prepare him for what’s happened to Will over the last ten months. 

“I mean that the press attention on this particular case is going to be intense. After Barker’s compound was raided, it set off a tremendous interest in your son’s disappearance. Once the news breaks, Will is going to be the center of attention, most of it unwanted. The Bureau will manage as much of it as we can while he’s hospitalized, but it’s going to be difficult. People will assume they’re entitled to access to him.” 

Brian nods. “I–I know the Mahoneys have had to deal with some of that.” 

“Tommy’s case is a little different than your son’s,” Agent Hevener says, and Brian can tell she’s choosing her words with care. “Agent Derringer wanted me to communicate to you that Will–well, he likely will be very different than he was the last time you saw him.”

The hair on Brian’s arms stands up. “What does that mean?” 

“Again, we don’t have all the specifics just yet. But cursory appraisal of injuries–” 

“Just say what you mean.” 

“Agent Derringer’s initial reports suggest Will was very likely tortured, sir. In a way that’s left him noticeably physically scarred.” 

“Oh,” Brian whispers. The coffee he had an hour ago pitches in his gut. “Oh. Oh, God.” 

All he can think of is Will’s face the night Casey left. His big brown eyes hovering over full baby cheeks. His little body pressed against the front room window, roly poly in his Ninja Turtle sweats. It physically hurt Brian to look at him that night, to realize how small and fragile his son was. How he would never be able to protect Will from the hurt that was barreling toward them both. But this—this—

“Mr. Cartwright–” 

“No, go on. Please.” 

“It may be difficult to hear.” 

Brian shakes his head. “Just tell me.” 

“Agent Derringer also saw some indicators that Will was exposed to repeated sexual violence.”

It isn’t a surprise. Brian knew it was likely. The agents warned him when they found out that Will had been sold that Barker’s transactions were typically for the purposes of sex trafficking. And there was the evidence from the compound, of course. But that doesn’t make it any easier to hear. How could this happen to his little boy? 

The explanation worries the underside of Brian’s ribs like a blade. It’s his fault. If he’d only been more present, if he’d only done better by Will–

He can still see Will, his little face pressed against that damned window. 

She’s gonna come back, right, Daddy? 

Brian hadn’t answered his son. He let Will stand at that stupid window for hours because he didn’t know how to answer. He poured himself a drink and let Will cry, and he never answered any of Will’s questions. Brian retreated into his own world after Casey left, and he told himself he was doing right, that he was taking care of Will in his own way, that Will would be better off for it. Will didn’t need him.

But Will had needed him, and he wasn’t there. Brian buries his face in his hands. 

“It’s likely–” Agent Hevener hesitates, “In cases like Will’s, there may be some communication deficits. We know that he was quite literally silenced during his time with Barker, and he probably wasn’t allowed to voice his fears or concerns at any point during his captivity.” 

Brian blanches. It’s bad enough to be reminded what that sick fuck did to his son, but it’s the agent’s choice of words. Captivity. Like Will is some kind of animal. But after his time with Barker, maybe that’s exactly how Will thinks of himself. Oh, God. 

“And post-traumatic stress is almost a guarantee.” 

No shit. “Yeah. I–yeah, of course.” 

Agent Hevener ducks her head to meet Brian’s eyes. “What I’m saying is, Mr. Cartwright, is that, while you should absolutely be happy that Will is coming home, you need to be prepared for how difficult it may be to connect with him for a while.”  

Brian wants to laugh even as tears needle the back of his eyes. Like he’s ever known how to connect with his son. But none of that is Will’s fault. None of it. 

“And in the case that communication is a challenge, you may need special support when it comes to dealing with media attention. As I said, the Bureau will provide you with a consultant for the duration of Will’s hospitalization, however long that may be–” 

But Brian isn’t listening. 

“What did you mean?

Agent Hevener’s nose wrinkles. “I’m sorry?” 

“When you said Will’s different from Tommy? Tommy, he–what that bastard did to them–it was the same, and you’re not–you aren’t giving them–” 

It’s something Brian hasn’t voiced before, because who would he tell? What would he say? But it isn’t fair. It’s a ridiculous thought for a grown man to have, but that doesn’t make it any less true. He saw Doug Mahoney’s face just after they saw those videos. He sees the way that Joanne covers up her relief with pity. Because Tommy came home, and Will didn’t. Because even if Tommy was hurt too, it was Tommy who did some of the hurting. Tommy, who was worth so much more to Barker. And his Will–God, Will–

Brian gasps for breath. He braces himself against his thighs. 

“Sir–” 

“Will is just as strong as Tommy! He–he–” 

Agent Hevener moves discreetly into the chair next to Brian’s. She puts a gentle hand on his knee. “I’m sure he is, Mr. Cartwright. He would have to be to survive the things he’s been through.” 

“He’s a good boy. This isn’t his fault! I–” 

“We know. There is nothing Will did to deserve any of this.”  

“Then why–” 

Why was it Will? That’s what Brian wants to ask, but he knows that he can’t. There is no possible answer that will ever make any of this make sense. 

Agent Hevener seems to understand. “I don’t know, Mr. Cartwright. I’ve been doing this a very long time, and I still don’t know. But if I may–” 

Brian nods, wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand. 

“He survived, sir. He’s coming home. And that’s worth celebrating, even if we don’t know exactly what it will bring.” 

They sit in silence for a while. Brian knows she’s right, that it’s a good thing that Will’s on his way home. But somehow, the warnings, the preparation, the fucking anticipation of waiting to see his child after nearly a year–it doesn’t feel quite the way he thought it might. What was it that song said? The waiting is the hardest part? That’s bullshit. Somehow, Brian knows it’s going to be the end of the waiting— the seeing, the knowing— that will kill him. 

Agent Hevener’s phone buzzes. “They’ll be here directly. The reception staff in emergency is prepped; they’re the only ones who know he’s coming.The ambulance won’t have any lights or sirens. No one will know he’s arrived until we break the story.”

“When can I see him?” Brian asks without hesitation. 

“I can’t answer that. But we’ll keep you here. This waiting room is a little further removed, and we can control who comes in and how you get out. Agent Derringer says there’s a good chance that Will may need to be prepped for emergency surgery–” 

“For what?” Brian interrupts.

He can hear the desperation in his question, but he doesn’t care. The answer doesn’t even really matter–it won’t change anything–but he’s suddenly greedy for knowledge of his son, how he’s feeling, what’s wrong, what will come next. He imagines Will in the back of the ambulance. Just now, in Brian’s head, Will is still a little boy. The broken young man in those videos—he isn’t real. Brian doesn’t know how to help the person in the videos; but he can help his little boy. He failed at that once, but he won’t now. He won’t.

Agent Hevener’s voice shakes him out of his reverie. “I don’t know, sir. But–” 

“--please! I just–I won’t get in their way. I just want to see my son.” 

He does, but he doesn’t. Once he sees, Will can’t ever be his little boy again. But goddamnit, Brian has to see him anyway. Has to touch his face or hold his hand or whatever it is people do. Brian has to let Will know that he will be there, even if he’s never fucking been there before. 

Agent Hevener looks down at her phone again and then at Brian. She doesn’t say anything. 

“Please, ma’am.”

“Mr. Cartwright, I don’t think you understand–” 

Brian shakes his head. “I don’t think you understand.” His voice is quiet; this isn’t a soap opera, and on some level, he knows this woman is just doing her job. But he won’t back down. Not this time. “He is my son. I haven’t seen him in a year–and what I have seen has–God, I can’t–someone hurt my boy. They hurt him so badly. I don’t care if you think I’m not ready–it doesn’t matter if I’m ready. I have to be. I have to be there for him, even if–even if he doesn’t know it for a while, Fuck, I–”

Agent Hevener holds up her hand as if to stop him, and for just a second, Brian’s ready to rip her hand right off. But she looks up from her phone, and her mouth presses into a thin line, and Brian knows. 

“He’s here?” 

Agent Hevener nods. “If you come with me—”

“Whatever you say. I’ll do whatever you say,” Brian says instantly. 

“He’ll be in the emergency treatment area until a doctor is able to fully examine him. You can be in the treatment room, but you cannot get in the way. If they need to move him–” 

“I understand. I understand.” 

“Good.” Agent Hevener stands and smooths her pantsuit. She looks back at Brian and he thinks he can see sympathy in her eyes. “Remember what I told you: it won’t be what you expect, Mr. Cartwright.” 

Not might. Won’t. 

“I understand,” Brian says again. 

“Then, let’s go.” 

Brian follows the agent like a puppy, keeping his eyes on the lacquered hunk of her bun, which doesn’t move at all as they weave through the hospital hallways. It’s somehow too quiet back here, but Brian understands. The agents have taken control; every few corridors, there is a faceless person in a suit standing by. They are doing their best to protect Will. It’s more than Brian’s ever done. 

“Here, Mr. Cartwright,” Agent Hevener says finally. 

They’re in a nondescript hallway, all washed out neutrals and pastel hospital curtains. Agent Hevener quickly ushers Brian behind one of them. 

Will isn’t here yet. Brian stares at the empty hospital bed, willing himself not to picture Will inside of it. The monitors are dark, cords dangling listlessly, and the whole room has an antiseptic smell that Brian understands but wishes were different. This is not a homecoming. This is not what Will deserves. But then, Will has never gotten anything he deserves; Brian and the entire fucking universe have pretty much made sure of that. 

Brian looks around, unsure of what to do or where to stand or precisely how to handle this particular moment in any way, shape, or form. Agent Hevener glances down at her phone again. Brian presses himself against the tall storage cabinets in the corner of the room. He has to stay out of the way. He will stay out of the way. As long as he can see Will. 

Then, the silence is broken. 

A gurney pushes inside the curtain, flanked by four different uniformed paramedics. One of them rattles off information to a nurse in pink scrubs, and even though Brian can’t understand a word he’s saying, the nurse seems to know; she takes feverish notes on a metal clipboard, and the gurney is shoved backward to the side of the bed opposite Brian’s corner. 

And there’s Will. 

Suddenly, Brian is in a different hospital room. Casey’s hand is wrapped around his, squeezing his bones with some kind of wild mutant strength he didn’t know she possessed. She isn’t screaming like in the movies. No, the noises coming from between her grit teeth are far more primal. 

Brian can’t blame her. He tried to stand next to the doctor to watch the baby come, but one look told him that he wasn’t prepared for that nature documentary in the making; the nurse must have agreed, because she told him in no uncertain terms that no one would be helping Brian if he fainted.  

Casey’s grip somehow manages to tighten. An animal grunt. Brian lets go of her hand, and someone guides him through snipping the gummy cord that stretches from Casey’s body. At the end of the cord is his baby. Slimy and gray and impossibly small. Whisps of dark hair on a blood-tacky scalp. Scrunched eyes like white beans. Tiny fingers and toes. Tiny. Just so tiny. 

It’s a boy! Congratulations, Dad! 

But even with all the commotion, it is too quiet. The baby is too still. 

Why isn’t he crying? Casey asks, even as one of the nurses continues to maneuver between her raised legs. She is angry; Brian never quite knows what to do when she’s angry. 

A nurse has the baby–their son–and she pivots away from Casey’s bed. Brian can’t see what she’s doing. He feels like he’s frozen in amber. 

He’s supposed to cry, Casey says, her voice tight and breathless. Why isn’t he crying? What’s wrong with him? 

Nothing, Brian thinks. There’s a spark of annoyance that Casey is already looking for the cracks in the facade, and their son isn’t even a minute old. The baby is beautiful, even if he isn’t really beautiful at all. He is theirs. Brian knows that he’s being unreasonable, that Casey is just concerned, but still–

Brian! 

Terror washes over Brian. His scalp prickles with sweat, and he can’t look at his wife. He can’t watch the nurse with the baby. He can’t move. 

There’s a crib at home. A changing table with a weird embroidered pad. Blue walls. A mobile with cartoon animals. A chestful of tiny clothes. They’re prepared. But Brian never thought to prepare for this. 

The silence crawls on for what feels like years, and then, a fragile cry, so small and strange that it brings tears to Brian’s eyes, cuts through the air. 

Casey is gone, and the boy on the gurney is so much bigger than the baby Brian held in his arms, but that sound is embedded in Brian’s sense memory. He’s heard it in his dreams since Will disappeared, and even though it goes through him like a knife, he leans into the pain. It means Will is okay.That things progress as they should. And Brian wants nothing more than for that to be true. 

The nurse and paramedics are still going back and forth, but Brian can’t really hear them. He can only look at his son. He takes an unconscious step forward, and nobody stops him. 

Will may be grown, but somehow, he has never looked quite so small. Brian can hear Casey’s voice. What’s wrong with him? 

Everything. Brian shakes his head, and his hand moves to his mouth as if pulled by puppet strings. Everything is wrong. 

The smell is overpowering. Urine and shit and sweat and blood and who knows what else; the filth on Will’s sallow face is caked on, an unsettling streaky brown. Dried blood clings to the corner of his lips and the underside of his nose. His dark hair hangs around his shoulders in thin, greasy clumps, and his cheeks are dusted with patchy suggestions of beard; there are smatterings of white hair in both. When hands shunt Will’s slack body from the gurney to the bed, his mouth doesn’t move. Brian’s gut lurches when he realizes that Will’s jaw is still wired shut. 

But even with the commotion around him, Will doesn’t stir. His gaunt body seems to sink into the white sheets on the bed. Even under the space blanket they’ve wrapped him in, Brian can see how Will’s bones swell where there used to be flesh, how skeletal his arms are, the way his head lolls on a neck that is too long and thin for the body Brian could have sworn he knew. Will’s neck is collared, of course. Brian saw that in the videos, but this close, he can smell the reek of infection beneath the electrical box. Brian thought he was ready. He thought he knew. 

He didn’t know anything. 

The space blanket is peeled away, and Will’s body–what’s left of it–is exposed beneath the harsh exam room lights. Brian only just catches himself against the wall. 

“Mr. Cartwright–” 

“Don’t,” he whispers. “Just don’t.” 

And then he looks away, because he thinks he might collapse if he doesn’t. 

It isn’t that he can count Will’s ribs like ladder rungs or the way that his hip bones jut into space. It isn’t the chunky leather mitts where Will’s hands should be. It isn’t even the smears of blood between Will’s bony thighs; Brian can’t even begin to process that little tidbit. 

No, it’s that every inch of Will’s skin is marked. Veins of raised silver curve and snake from Will’s collarbones to the tops of his feet; there is more scar tissue than there is filthy skin, or at least it looks that way to Brian. Whorls and curlicues and precise lines that were all laid down on his son’s withering flesh with careful intention. 

Brian doesn’t have to stare to know that this DeAngelis monster spent his months with Will treating him like carving wood. The fucker bought Brian’s child just to ruin him. The patterns are deliberate, cruel–and they are permanent. Brian closes his eyes, and he can see Will’s little pink body wrapped in the striped hospital blanket; he can see the soft white neck peeking out from those rumpled Ninja Turtle sweats; he can see the boy who was almost a man, desperately uncomfortable in his own skin. 

You don’t get it, Dad. I’m just–I’m not what she wants. 

Brian got it. He understood better than Will knew what it was to feel lost, to measure yourself and constantly be found wanting. But this, Brian will never get. He will never understand this kind of cruelty, and he will never understand what Will is feeling, not ever again. How could he possibly? 

But even so, even though his mind and body are buried beneath layers of incomprehensible pain, Will is still the most beautiful thing that Brian’s ever seen. Because he is here. Because he is real. Because he is all that matters. He is all that’s ever mattered. 

Agent Hevener’s hand is firm on Brian’s shoulder. “Mr. Cartwright?”

“Can I–” Brian watches as the nurse begins to hook Will up to the various monitors, manipulating his thin arms as easily as a doll’s. Brian’s throat aches, but he doesn’t bother to try to stop his tears from falling. “Can I touch him?” 

“I’m not sure that–” 

“Please. The doctor–there isn’t a doctor yet. Just until they come. I won’t–I’ll be careful. Please.” 

Agent Hevener sighs, but her grip relaxes, just a little; it’s answer enough for Brian. 

Somewhere in the space of the last few minutes, someone has cut the mitts from Will’s hands. His fingers are gnarled bones, barely fingers at all, and the backs of his hands are scarred, just like the rest of him. When the nurse moves out of the way, Brian eases into the space next to the bed. He reaches over the plastic strut of the bedside, and he touches trembling fingers to Will’s wrist. He can feel a rigid line of scar tissue beneath his fingertips, and he lets out a kind of wet gasp. 

Will is too quiet, too still. But he is real. He is here. Maybe this isn’t the reunion Brian pictured, if he ever let himself picture this moment at all, but it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t. 

“Mr. Cartwright–” 

“No,” Brian snarls. They will not take his boy again. “No,” he says, softly this time. He wraps his hand around Will’s curled fingers and exhales, breath shaking. “Bud?” Brian leans close and presses his lips to his son’s soiled forehead. “Bud, I’m so glad you’re home.” 

It’s stupid. Will doesn’t hear, and even if he did, he couldn’t answer. His ruined fingers don’t move; his breath barely lifts the battered plane of his chest. But Brian doesn’t care. He will wait until he hears the fragile cry that will let him know his boy is still in there; that someday, somehow, Will will be okay. 

taglist: @darkthingshappen, @oddsconvert, @sparrowsage, @whump-for-all-and-all-for-whump, @mylifeisonthebookshelf, @highwaywhump, @squishablesunbeam, @hold-him-down, @whumpsday, @sowhumpful, @termsnconditions-apply, @irishwhiskeygrl, @deltaxxk, @d-cs, @whumpinggrounds, @canislycaon24, @considerablecolors, @starlit-darkness, @scp-1296, @flowersarefreetherapy, @morning-star-whump, @whumpwhittler, @susiequaz12, @whump-world, @hiding-in-the-shadows, @tasteywhumpee, @whumplr-reader, @sad-boys-anonymous, @whumpzone

[githkisser]

H'rayn of Verkos

Not revised soree😩😩

oathbreaker/cleric of life/[nondisclosed worship: Orphic cleric]

Name is pronounced "highrend"

192cm/6'3

V.A: Karen Strassman (Shyvana) or Amirah Vann (sevika)

NOTE: her tone is soft, but the way she speaks is poetic and long-winded, sometimes featuring words that don't even exist. Her way of speaking is described by Shadowheart as "githsplaining"

Background: Commandeer-er of the great Red Lady

"Once widely revered amongst your kind, your story pierced the classrooms of many a crèche, your face, legend, and name are known among your own kind. Holding to your true allegiance and seeking comrades in your cause will boon and empower the abilities of those around you, should you stay true to your cause."

Note: The renegade agents are a homebrew gith faction. They hold an extreme proficiency in astral knowledge and have touched the sea of thought itself (they aren't aware of it, they just know what they have been called to do). Because of this, they see reality as it should be (À la the seas interpretation of justice and the right path) and are fervent to beat it back onto the right track. They're excellent spies and like H'rayn they have the potential to shoot through ranks. They are extremely manipulative and charismatic. Renegaders are a chaotic neutral supporting faction with no leader. Individuals within it often sit on the intersections between lawful evil, neutral evil, and true neutral.

Origin backstory dsc

Hatched into the unyielding cold of Crèche Verkos of Vaasa as the weakest of her clutch, H'rayn managed to rouse the fervor of the god queen Vlaakith after slaying a mind flayer as a mere youth, she was the only survivor of her crèche. H'rayn became an agent to the queen, but that was not where her true allegiance laid. Now unmasked as a traitor, hindered by the tadpole, dragonless, and unable to travel between planes, she must find a way to secure the weapon and harness it, all while hot wings of fire rage within her skull in symphony with the tadpole.

Origin introduction preview

"Your eyes meet the one and only un-child, un-child of many minds and one head. I who have slain countless illithid—I who have long feigned faith, reverence, and subservience to a god queen, I who tediously siezed red dragons from their masters and reduced them to hot coals beneath her nose. But she is no longer my fool. Flightless, called 'Hshar'lak', now bound to the material plane and hunted, I must act, or succumb. I will un-shatter and unleash. Zero-sum, I will stir the prince. Even if he kills me."

Recruitment and first interactions

•H'rayn can first be found at mountain pass (X-112 Y-549) speaking with the tiefling Ellyka, disguised as Zorru. The tadpole connection will expose this. The player may either shoot their accusation at 'Zorru', humor the situation, or allow the charade to continue until Ellyka is out of the way or until 'Zorru' decides it's time for the both of them to leave together.

•A passive roll check decides which of the two outcomes happens. The odds are 50/50.

NOTE: if Zorru is killed at the grove prior to this encounter there will be a special dialogue choice mentioning this.

•If H'rayn is exposed here she can be recruited. She will redisguise herself as a youth when first meeting Voss, and all through Crèche Y'llck, claiming that someone of her status need not be pestered by adoring admirers.

NOTE: Voss will oust H'rayn as a traitor to be hunted alongside the weapon. If Lae'zel is not present you can protect H'rayn or expose her disguise. You will have to fight the patrol. Additionally, if Lae'zel is present and exposes H'rayn herself, you can side with the patrol and help them take H'rayn out, She will summon her agents to protect her. If you side with H'rayn, Lae'zel will have to be persuaded to side with her as well (disadvantage if approval is low). This will initiate the patrol fight

•if players miss H'rayn at the mountain pass or do not recruit her, she can be found a final time upon entering Crèche Y'llck through the main entrance, disguised as a 'distressed githyanki youth' being questioned by Warrior Khunaruth(Y-1349 X-834). If the player is a githyanki, they can pass a deception check and claim she belongs to their traveling party (Lae'zel can also be used for this) and save her from the interrogation. Or, they can simply convince Khunaruth to kill her immediately. If there are no present githyanki in your party: you can attack Khunaruth and face the troops guarding the crèche.

•This will be the final chance to recruit her for your party. Once the inquisitors chamber is unlocked/the zaith'isk is used, she will have been snuffed out of her disguise and killed.

•You can either send the 'distressed githyanki youth' to your camp, or you can allow her to temporarily join you for the crèche.

NOTE: if killed by the warrior, a slate will be accessible in the inquisitors chamber detailing her death. If not killed and instead sent to camp, Vlaakith will order Lae'zel to kill H'rayn, wherein Lae'zel willl decide H'rayns fate—or seal her own.

•Disguised as a youth she will begin conversation when examining the comet drawn on the portait of Vlaakith. She will ask that the party take the time to speak to those in the crèche before progressing. If denied to prioritize the zaith'isk, she will head to the classroom alone and wait for you. Should the crèche turn hostile, she will have been killed, not eligible for resurrection.

•Joined in the classroom, she will also demand the player allow her to deal with Varrl. If you refuse her, she will mildly disapprove. If you kill Varrl she will also disapprove. She will approve if you trade Orpheus' slates with him, and disapprove if you threaten him for it.

•She will not reveal herself as H'rayn until waking up next long rest (if in camp) or (if with party) until returning from the prisim/killing inquisitor W'wargaz. The inquisitor will not allow H'rayn to join you inside of the prism, she will be dead when you exit, her body will be at X-1270, Y-673. She will be eligible for resurrection and can be recruited from there.

•If you refuse to recruit her here, she will immediately run off and all chances will have been missed, but her body will reappear inside of the prisim, having died fighting the emperor. The dominated red dragon during the fight with the elder brain will be her dragon, Red Lady.

NOTE: all deaths will yield different dialogue if speak with dead is used on her. She will also begin conversation with you if you read the slate 'Hshar'lak voss' in the inquisitors chamber. Whether you know of her traitorhood(post res) or not will yield different tones and dialogue. Either way she will demand that the party pursue Voss at any cost.

Doubly note: Lae'zels origin guide on the nautaloid, 'Losiir' is a member of H'rayn's squad, who were among the group of dragon riders pursuing the nautaloid. In H'ryans origin, Losiir will come to her aid in the prologue instead of her running into Lae'zel.

•She will abandon the party if you blow up the crèche.

Gear

Note: I don't care WHO the IRS sends I am NOT drawing weapons, rings, or shields!!!

Descriptions, personality, and more below the cut

Armor — Torn Pelage

The arms and many other elements (including most of the shell) of this once regal heavy armor have been torn off to accommodate temperate climates and need for mobility. The belsnick fur around the neck clings to its wearer, begging to remain. Once, it was warm enough to withstand the rages of winters womb.

Gloves — Gauntlet wraps

These bandages are worn. Tattered by desperate climbing and clawing.

Boots — Githyanki renegade shin guards

These shin guards are scorched by the flames of the hells, devolving them into crude shells.

Ring — Claws From the Mother(CFTM)

This ring is hot to the touch. Bound to its wearer. Pulsing around their finger like a twinned heartbeat, or a slowly sucking leech.

NOTE: CFTM cannot be removed from H'rayn. It is linked to H'rayn's great dragon 'Red Lady'. As long as CFTM is active, Red Lady will remain out of reach, trapped inside of H'rayn's mind. Through higher approval, she will confide in the player about this.

Belt — Shorts.

Short shorts! Comfortable. Versatile. Efficient. Always out of the way.

Shield — Githyanki Coutercoup Shield

Shield crafted for specialty githyanki warriors.

Note: Shield cannot be sold. Will receive a disapproval point if tried >:[

Weapon — Githyanki shortsword

the steel of the hilt has been indented with the three fingered grip of its ever close owner, every red gem plucked. It seems to refrain from cutting you as you run your finger along it.

Camp clothes — temperate harem pants

Common item of clothing among githyanki raiders... comfy. Probably.

Personality

Known traitor to her queen, when first met, H'rayns personality will seem no different than Lae'zels, if not far less trusting, especially towards allyship with those who are not the same race as her. It doesn't take her long to soften up to the camp. After all, she's used to losing whole squads and having them replaced.

She is not outwardly xenophobic, but if she is asked about her attitude towards non-gith, she will humor you briefly, read your race to filth and move on. She has much more important things to worry about than debating her perceived superiority.

She is conceited. As a result of this, one of her quirks is that she speaks even to those who would outrank her with her nose up so that she may always look down on those she deems weak. The only who she will not look down on is the prince himself, allies to the comet, and you, should you prove yourself an ally as well.

Given that she is already "tainted" in her eyes from the tadpole, and within proximity of the prisim she won't change, she is open to the idea of using them to her own gain and consuming the tadpoles to become stronger.

She fights her mind, wading between 'two selves' as per her own description. The self she constructed to feign and the self she has always been. One which is erratic, battle hardened and vicious, and one which is far softer and yearns to nurture and protect. Your guess is as good as anyone else's as to which is the real her.

If your relationship is high enough, she will reveal what she did to be ousted as a traitor. Like the emperor, she sought to steal the prism but was the victim of him meddling and exposing her to seek his own triumph.

Here are her mannerisims and a few tidbits about her that I find fun.

•When speaking, H'rayn will use sign language to better process what's coming out of her own mouth. Habit developed partially because she had a deaf renegader before the nautaloid crash happened. She also deaf in her right ear.

•While idle, she will comb her hair, wipe her brow, or fiddle with CFTM.

•when in camp during the day, she can always be seen either reading slates and books. She will write/annotate during the night.

•after Defeating Ketheric Thorm, if the player sits on his throne and she is present, H'rayn will approach and throw the player off of his throne the first time. The second time the player sits on the throne, she will say, "Tut. Stubborn thing." She will approve of this.

Approvals

Though her words will say otherwise, H'rayn approves of general good deeds, showing mercy to those who have not wronged you, helping children and being decent to those around you. She will also approve if you ask her about her attitude towards non-gith, but only if the player is a fellow githyanki, tiefling, or a dragonborn.

She approves of direct action against the absolute and all evil (ex. Attacking moonrise/goblin camp immediately)and double approves of pro-githyanki anti-Vlaakith statements and decisions. She enjoys the company of someone who values written word, aswell as somebody who is stubborn. She will often comment on books picked up within the world.

She will approve of saving the egg in the crèche.

Note: if this is done, eventually she will confide in you about wishing her kind could have mothers in the way that other races do. Relationship wise. She will hatch the egg and keep Ptaris, but only if the egg is spellbound and stolen back from the society.

She disapproves of acts like desecrating remains, betrayal of word, and insulting the faiths of others, unless you are insulting Vlaakiths faithful, of course. She will also disapprove if the player ever flees a battle.

She is indifferent to acts which are taken only to shorten the means to the end, given you can convince her that acts like slaughtering the grove are in fact just that.

Romance

H'rayn will sooner accept romance from another gith than that of a non gith. A gith will be able to start on her romance at some point in act one assuming you get the approval for it. Non gith will get the chance in act 2. She will not be the one to confess feelings, nor does she see the value in doing so.

NOTE: she will proposition a dragonborn/tiefling for sex when asked what she thinks about their species.

She's extremely cuddly and very affectionate for a gith, so when approached for a relationship/at the party after saving the grove, this is what she will propose if your approval is adequate. During this she will get to know you and vise versa while she cuddles (strangles) you :3

She has no interest in carnal desires, but if her partner wanted to engage in such a thing, then she would be interested to do so, once and only once. A non gith partner (excluding dragonborn and tiefling) will have to prove themselves worthy of this by boasting about battles and or other achievements.

Blue choices will sway her

•Having read Necromancy of Thay unscathed

•Defeating Sarth Baretha and her squad

•Saving the deep gnomes from the duegar

•Defeating inquisitor W'wargaz and or Kith'rak Therezynn

•Saving the grove

•Slaughtering the grove

•Saving Mayrina

•Initially saving Barcus

If you have not done anything worthy of boasting about, you will have the option to bring up surviving the nautaloid in hell. To which she will just say "begone, serf."

Once the relationship has reached its peak, she is intense and religious in her expressions of love. She will demand you to never leave her side.

She will give you the option between being called a helot, and a servant. You can accept either one or persuade her to "act normal" to which she will give you the title "little moth"

this successful persuasion will shift the dynamic into a much softer one, but in both dynamics, she will kiss you, but only if you kneel for her. The only time she will kneel to you is if you free Orpheus, or promise to do so.

She will view her treasured one as an object to hold in her possession, especially a non gith partner.(If not titled "little moth") You will have to prove yourself to be "in control of your faculties" and her equal should you try to break up with her. If you fail, she will just laugh, say "no" and end the conversation. Humorously so. This will not lock you out of other romances. She will be salty about it and there will be one chance to ask for her back within the same long rest.

Note: If you explicitly agreed not to leave her side and try to break up with her, she will challenge you in direct combat.

She is not opposed to engaging with the drow twins, but it will not be a pleasant experience for either of the twins.

Note: if you cheat on her with somebody else she will abandon the party.

Notex2: After meeting Voss in Sharess' Caress, if her partner is not githyanki, she will act colder the following long rest and later approach the player and refuse to continue a relationship.

Dialogue will be different depending on if you had tried to break up with her previously. You can pass a performance check to manipulate her into not leaving you. The roll will have disadvantage if you have slept with her.

Note: Depending on your relationship, she will also tell Voss the truth in spite of you, should you choose to accept Raphaels deal and lie about not having the Orphic hammer.

Personal quest: Claws from the Mother

This quest will see that the player has the choice to urge H'rayn back into Oath with Vlaakith, or help her rid herself of her curse for good; to give her the chance to piece back her two selves and free Red Lady.

In her origin playthrough her main quest consists of trying to find a way to lift CFTM, and trying to find a way inside of the prisim once it is secured. Once inside, there is the choice to successfully help the honor guard against the emperor, and then surrender yourself and your entire party to them.

NOTE: This will be her choice if she is not origin, and if she does not like/trust the player.

To lift CFTM, H'rayn has four possible options, two of which are provided by Mizora, glossed over in act 2, and fully proposed in act 3.

•If Wyll is present, Mizora will say she knows "a devil itching his stinky britches for a contract with a githyanki" whom she owes a favor to. To which H'rayn will have the choice to sign away her soul to become a debtor post brain destruction in exchange for the curse lifting.

•If denied, Mizora will instead propose that H'rayn replace Wyll (if he is to be free of his pact) or join him as one of her warlocks.

NOTE: Both of the proposed options above will result in stronger aid during the final battle and several buffs, but H'rayn will not be permitted to leave faerûn.

•(if present) You could have her seek counsel with Gale, and he will then try his best to see if Mystra could help, which she will do if Gale has agreed not to use the crown.

You will recive aid from both Red Lady and H'rayn.

•The final option is to convince H'rayn to sever her attachment to the ring. Player must roll only a critical sucess to pass. You will not recive aid from Red Lady, and you will not recive aid from H'rayn. If you have romanced her (both gith and non) she will break up with you herself.

If H'rayn has CFTM lifted by Mystra, her agents will provide aid in the final battle along with Red Lady

•The gathered Red Lady will shed the ashes from her scales and apply bane for the next 10 turns to all enemies on the field, ignoring all sightlines.

•H'rayn's aid calls upon her loyal agents, they offer the option to modify the ability Kith'raki Inferno to convert fire damage into another elemental type of your choice.

•If her buff to Kith'raki Inferno is not used before the top of the elder brain is reached, this ability will be forfeit and she will use "Greater Red Ladys Sarath" immediately, applying a bless to her favorite allies until they fall.

Allies who will receive bless are as follows:

•Hellrider Platoon

•Hellstalker Yugir

•Battle ready Owlbear

•Florricks Cohort

Note: If none of the listed allies are gathered, H'rayn's renegade agents of the comet will assist their knightly allies: Kith'raki Inferno will recive another charge ONLY if it has been used already, but it will not be eligible for elemental conversion.

Red Lady will appear in camp alongside H'rayn after CFTM is lifted. H'rayns two surviving renegade agents of the comet (Losiir, Gish Sha'naziim) will also join alongside her. These allies cannot be recruited into the party, but H'rayn will gain the ability to summon them. She will only be able to do this once. The player can also engage in dialogue with them to learn more about H'rayn and the renegade agents.

Neophyte Losiir—Fighter/Gloomstalker Ranger

•Wields the githyanki crossbow version of joltshooter, can haste without making the target lethargic

Gish Sha'naziim—Devotion Paladin/Orphic cleric of life

•will wield an incandescent mace and can cast elemental conversion, adding an element of your choice to an allys attacks.

NOTE: Summoning them uses a bonus action, they can be summoned during the final battle.

•When CFTM is lifted the ring will turn into another version that grants the wearer the reaction "Great Red Ladys Sarath" which can be used once per long rest.

•The wearer has the ability to whistle when entering combat. This whistle will apply greater rally to all team members, granting them 14 temporary hit points and giving them +1 to initiative.

Endgame(post CFTM)

She will aggro immediately if you side with the emperor and let him feed on Orpheus, becoming a mindlfayer and feeding on Orpheus will yield the same result (regardless of approval level), and her romance epilogue will be null if Orpheus is turned.

•If she is not present inside of the prisim when Orpheus is assimilated/he turns into a mindflayer, she will appear with Voss and his raiders, along with her remaining agents (Neophyte Losiir, Gish Sha'naziim). She will appear regardless of Orpheus' status.

NOTE: If she has been killed inside of the Prisim, Sha'naziim will replace her role in this scenario.

•If Voss is sucessfully persuaded just before the final battle, he must then passively roll an invisible d20 (Persuasion) to hit a target of 20 (with advantage if Orpheus is present as a mindflayer), If he fails, H'rayn and her agents will turn hostile and will need to be eliminated.

The Red Lady will still provide aid at Voss' order, should H'rayn/her agents die.

NOTE: if CFTM is not lifted, Voss will have disadvantage on this persuasion check.

She will also offer herself to become a mindflayer instead of Orpheus/Tav/Karlach. Once this is done she will surrender herself to Orpheus' blade after the defeat of the brain.

If you want her faithful to Vlaakith(her bad ending i guess. Makes 0 sense for her character), H'rayn has one thread of choices: let emp assimilate Orpheus>Kill Voss, his raiders, and the renegade agents>betray Emperor>destroy brain. Quintuple whammy.

Post brain destruction

If H'rayns curse is still present, she will remain in faerûn, searching for a way to lift CFTM. She will attend the reunion in flesh.

NOTE: This ending will also occur if she accepts either of Mizora's deals, the only difference being there is no more CFTM. She will not attend the reunion if she accepted the first proposal, and you will not receive a slate from her, you will recive a letter from the devil she was signed to.

If all above criteria is met but CFTM is no longer active, and she is not signed to any devil, Red Lady will come to take H'rayn and she will join the other gith. At the reunion she will either project her form, like Lae'zel, or send a slate.

If you have romanced her as a githyanki you can leave with her, no problem

NOTE: Non gith romance endings are contingent on successfully urging her not to break up with you in favor of her own race.

If you have romanced her as a non gith (excluding dragonborn and tiefling), she will urge you to stay behind for fear of her kind flaying her beloved helot/moth on sight.

Tieflings and dragonborns will be able to join her without having to pass a check, and she will gladly go into battle with either. If another race, you will have to persuade her via promising to be careful or to stay out of battle and become something to be taken care of.

All romance endings will allow you and H'rayn to attend the reunion. With a dialogue choice, you will be able to decide if you have heeded and remained out of the battle and githhanki affairs or if you stubbornly fight with her. She will approve with the latter.

•If Voss is successful in calming her when Orpheus has been turned/killed, she will also leave with the other gith. She will not attend the reunion. She will send a slate.

If H'rayn becomes a mindflayer, she will surrender herself to Orpheus' blade. The player can beg Orpheus to refuse, and H'rayn to give life a chance as an illithid.

•If you persuade just Orpheus, H'rayn will not attend the reunion. She will send a slate.

•If you succeed on both rolls, H'rayn will attend the reunion as a mindflayer.

If loyal to Vlaakith, and if she has done everything Vlaakith has asked and denied the influence of the sea of thoughts, H'rayn will not attend the reunion. She will be dead.

Bonus: with H'rayn present, the egg which contains the githyanki child Ptaris can be handed over to Esther and stolen back from the society before he hatches. The party will have 2 long rests to retrieve the unhatched Ptaris after they reach baldurs gate. If they complete the game having taken the egg, and having it in H'yrans inventory, Ptaris will hatch as he does normally, and H'yran will have a beautiful warmongering baby boy who grows at an excelerated rate🤞

•He will also be projected to the reunion party with mommie dearest (H'yran)

————

Hii if you read all of this and enjoyed it feel free to ask me about her in my ask box hehe... I really like her and the agents. I've even written some barks, party banter, all speak with dead Q&As (written for both survivng renegade agents too), and dialogue aswell as some of her reunion slates :)

My tummy hurts posting this bro. My twt is transpennywise

[jbaileyfansite]

Jonathan Bailey's interview with The Standard (2023)

(TW: this interview contains a story of Jonny being threatened by an homophobe in DC the day after the Human Campain Rights Gala)

Queer as Folk, Will & Grace, It’s a Sin: it’s not as if TV hasn’t tackled the gay male experience – and well – before. But I can’t think of a gay, straight (as it were) drama that matches the sweep and sheer mainstream gloss of Ron Nyswaner’s new eight-part Paramount+ series Fellow Travelers. 

Nor can I think of one that does sex quite as brilliantly – frequent, searingly hot, sometimes tender, sometimes perfunctory, sometimes borderline brutal (one of the writers’ rules, Nyswaner has said, was “that we would never repeat the same act. When we got to episode eight, we were really kind of flummoxed”) and always articulate in a way that the necessarily secretive characters can’t be.  

It’s certainly the first series I’ve seen that explores gay relationships in such an unapologetic yet nuanced and, frankly, expensive way, I tell Bailey, when I meet him at the Corinthia hotel in London. 

“Totally,” he says. “And you can see it on the screen; the respect. In the early 90s, you needed a straight superstar like Tom Hanks [in Philadelphia, also written by Nyswaner] to bring a queer story and commission it. Cut to thirty years later, and it's the story itself that is the commissionable thing.”

I think the heartthrob star of Bridgerton is underselling his own clout a bit. The series follows the love affair between Tim Laughlin, an idealistic young congressional staffer (Bailey), and the vastly more experienced, cynical and outrageously handsome State Department official Hawkins ‘Hawk’ Fuller (Matt Bomer, whose all-American jawline could open a can of luncheon meat) that begins at the height of McCarthyism.

It jumps around a thirty-year timeline, expanded beyond the mid-century scope of Thomas Mallon’s original novel, to explore the relationship’s far-reaching repercussions, and the way that legislated oppression shapes people.

The other thing that stands out about the series, which begins in 1953 at the start of the Lavender Scare – the government crackdown on homosexual federal employees that resulted in upwards of 5,000 losing their jobs, and an alarming number taking their own lives – is that all the gay leads are played by out gay actors.

Bailey has said before that the important thing is gay stories being told, rather than slavishly ‘appropriate’ casting, and “I still 100 per cent stand by the fact that I think all actors should be able to do everything,” he says. “But to have gay actors chronicling the oppression and the trauma of it, I think it only adds to the experience. It's exciting that people welcome it.”

It’s encouraging too, that an out gay man was trusted to anchor a heteromantic behemoth like Bridgerton, to the point that having been snapped at Wimbledon with Ariana Grande (with whom he stars next year in the movie of Wicked), a newspaper was calling his agent threatening to out him as straight (“I'm in two minds about whether that's a really good sign of progression”). But all this progress is set against a sobering backdrop.

Rights for women and LGBTQ+ people are being rolled back across the world. Hate crimes based on sexuality have risen by 112 per cent in the last five years in England and Wales alone. How does he feel, right now, I ask him. After a moment’s consideration, he tells me a story that shocks me to my core.

He’d been to Washington DC, he tells me, at an annual event for the LGBTQ+ organisation The Human Rights Campaign. 

“It was an incredible experience,” he says, sitting one leg tucked under on a tasteful beige chaise longue. “I met President Biden. I was there with Shonda Rhimes, she was being given an award, Matt Bomer was given another one; I was introducing him. My first political gala. I had the most amazing night; had a drink; couldn't sleep; buzzing.

“I woke up the next morning, it was like a montage. Sunshine, I was like, this is brilliant. I went into a coffee shop, and I was wearing a Human Rights Campaign cap from the night before. And the young lady who I was ordering from recognised me from Bridgerton, we were just chatting.

“And a man arrived behind me and he said, ‘Are you famous?’ And I said something like, 'I'm really famous for ordering coffee,' which is actually quite an annoying thing to say,” he laughs. “And then he got my cap, and he pulled it off my head and he threw it across the room and he said, ‘get out of this f***ing coffee shop, you queer.”

The room went still, Bailey remembers. But he walked over, picked up his hat, and put it back on his head. “If you don't take that cap off, I'm gonna f***ing shoot you,” it came again. “Where I'm from, people like me kill people like you.”

It was, of course, terrifying. But “in the moment, everything slows down,” he says. “No one knew what to do, apart from one girl, she was amazing. Angela, she came up, and she got her phone out and she said, ‘I'm recording this message, I think you are welcome in this country. And what you're saying, I think, is appalling.’ That happened sort of five minutes in, and he left.”

The man was from Pennsylvania (yes, Bailey did ask), and what Bailey took from the experience, he says, is that “potentially, there is a kid who – that's his father. That's his uncle. That's his teacher.” 

He pauses. “My life was threatened. My body believed it; my brain didn't and it took me a while to really catch up with it. But I've got friends and security. There are so many people that don't. They are surrounded by that every day, and the torment of what that must be like, the amount of fear that was generated... If that's what children are surrounded by, they're not going to be able to grow in any way.

“And of course, that's not just an American story,” he continues. “It's international. And it's terrifying, that [here in the UK] we're not looking after queer people, in terms of allowing them into the country. Because that is the reality; people’s lives are literally at risk.”

He says the messages he’s been getting in response to the show bear this out. “People are still living in the closet. Or they’ve had a moment where they're watching and they realise, that was their father's story, or their mother's story; or it’s people who have been affected by this, but for the first time are understanding the trauma.

“People are so shocked that this is such recent history, but the majority of people in the world are living under that sort of belief system. And people on Instagram message from areas in the world where just getting through the day without being outed is survival.”

Bailey, 35, grew up in rural Oxfordshire as the youngest of four and the only boy to an audiologist mother and a father who worked for Rowse Honey. He had nothing but support and love within his family, but even he internalised shame from the way gay people were represented in the media when he was growing up. 

“The majority of gay people were either the butt of jokes, or being caught in sexual acts and considered deviants, or they were committing suicide, or they're dying of AIDS,” he says. 

He’s spoken before about an episode of Casualty he saw, aged 11, with exactly the latter storyline, “and I do remember that episode, viscerally, and crying and being like, that's what I'm [going to be]. And that isn't Casualty’s fault. It's brilliant to have that story out there. But it was the lack of variety, of access to being allowed to feel that you're going to be okay.”

Having said that, he says, “every five years is a different gay generation. It was nowhere near as tough as if I'd have been born 15 years earlier. Me and my friends, two in four, if not three in four, would not be here.” 

His relationship status is off-limits. There’s “a lovely man”, but that’s all he’ll say. “It's not secret, but it's private,” he says. “Having a private life is, for me, completely critical. I don't know if I would be able to be as confident to speak out on other things if I felt that my whole life was up for grabs.”

Bailey’s next big screen project is Wicked, playing Fiyero alongside Grande as Glinda and Cynthia Erivo as Elphaba. At one point though, he was doing that, Fellow Travelers and Bridgerton at the same time, which sounds insane.

“On World AIDS Day last year, I was in Canada playing Tim on the AIDS ward,” he says (you know this from the start, no spoilers here). “And then I wrapped, went straight to the airport, slept on the plane, got up and went straight to a Regency ball, slept in a hotel in London overnight and then went and danced with Ariana Grande for a day, my first day of rehearsal. Then I came back and burnt some conscription papers for the Vietnam War on the Monday.”

He’s got big plans of his own too – galvanised by the gala in Washington, he’s been working with the charity Just Like Us, which brings queer speakers into schools. "You're twice as likely to be bullied if you're gay, or queer," he says. "And yet if there's positive LGBTQ+ messaging within the school system, 100 per cent of people's mental health and happiness increases. It's a no brainer." He is planning to establish a foundation next year, to consolidate his charitable work.

But for now he’s glad to be home for a bit. Bailey moved out of London to be closer to his Nana during lockdown, and stayed (“I was watching Strictly with her the other day”). She’s 93, born in 1930, so “we worked out she's the same age as Tim. So we charted everything that Tim experiences with where she was, and it was amazing,” he says.

“I knew that she had known one gay man at work in her life, because that obviously came up when I was having conversations about who I am, and I knew he had taken his own life. She's watching Fellow Travelers, and it's really emotional for her because she's, I think for the first time, really being allowed to understand what might have been going on.”

She's “blown away” by the show, he says. They haven’t talked about “specific scenes”, but “she said to my sister – ‘I didn't know he had it in him.’ I actually want that on a T-shirt.”

Source

[writer-zie]

Hiiiii, can we talk how would Cheong-Shin react when you get hurt? He is 9348490% an over protective cutie

Absolutely, let's do that.

Minor Injuries.

Be it something as small as a scrape on your knee, or a graze on your arm, Cheong-Sin spends precious time patching you up.

He'll clean each wound meticulously, giving you small kisses to try and distract you from the pain from the rubbing alcohol.

Finally, before putting plasters or any sort of covering, he'll kiss each wound, and even with no proper evidence, you both swore that it made them heal faster.

Major Injuries.

(TW: car accident, mentions of murder, broken bones, drunk driving )

A/N: The police number in South Korea is 112, and ambulance/fire dept. is 119

Also potentially unrealistic injuries, I've never been hit by a car so I wouldn't know

Let's be honest here. Cheong-Sin doesn't let you get badly hurt.

When you go out, he's with you.

When you're at home, he's with you.

When you're out with friends, he may not be directly by your side, but he'll be in the area.

However, with the Counters after him now, he had to spend more and more time away, leaving you vulnerable to whatever society had to throw at you. He couldn't even use a proper phone, lest it get tracked and traced back to you.

You, on the other hand, didn't know what was happening to him. He'd be with you for a few days, then disappear for a week, with barely any notice. You couldn't even call to ask where he went, due to the dangerous nature of his job. But sometimes he'd call you with a burner phone, just to check on you.

(You don't know what he actually does, but he's told you he's an agent of some sort, which excuses these absences.)

So, on one of the days he isn't in, you go out to buy groceries. It's weird not having him with you. It feels like you're missing something. Not as large as an arm, nor as painful as a heart. Just a presence. A sense of safety.

But it was fine, right? You'd been okay without him before, you'd be alright now.

You stepped out of your apartment building into the not-so-busy streets of Jungjin. The occasional car streamed down the road. The sky was a pale grey, the sun a light spot against the cloud cover. Not much was going on today. Oh well.

You turned the corner onto the street that led to the grocery store, making sure to step over the ground tile that stuck slightly up as you removed your earphones from your pocket.

What to listen to?

(or replace that with your favourite song)

The tunes swirled around in your mind as you turned up the volume, blocking out the boring environment, blocking out practically anything that could be heard. Which was technically unsafe, but this was a relatively safe city. The street was also empty, except for a few people in cafés, so you'd be fine.

You started to recount your grocery list in your head.

"Milk, eggs, ramyeon, [favourite food], carrots, bread, cere—"

*SCREECH*

A sharp pain, a sensation of flying, and the world went dark.

It was a shame you couldn't hear what was going on around you, or you would have heard a faint rumbling behind you, and might have been able to jump out of the way of the car that had sped onto the pavement.

Your unconscious body was sprawled out on the ground, head and nose bleeding.

The people in the cafés began to pour out, having seen the car through the glass. Several people called 112, others called 119.

Coincidentally, your phone began to ring. Unknown Number.

In a hotel on the far side of Jungjin, Ji Cheong-Sin typed your number into his burner phone.

"Who you calling?" asked a voice from across the room. He looked up to see Hyang-hui standing there, smiling as always.

"None of your business." he replied, letting the phone ring.

"Aw, who is it? Come on, tell me!"

"I said, it's none of your business."

"Damn, why so cagey? Don't tell me you've got a secret girlfriend or something?"

He put his hand on the bed, as to stand up.

"Damn, ok! I'll leave you alone then!" she said, slipping out of the door.

He sighed and sat back down. You weren't picking up the phone. That was very strange.

Normally you either picked up, or messaged saying you were at work, but no response at all? That was odd.

He called again.

As you were carried into the ambulance, your eyes began to crack open.

You raised your hand to your face, shielding your eyes from the light. Murmurs surrounded you. A face entered your frame of view.

"She's awake." it said, standing up.

A collective sigh of relief filled the vehicle.

"Ma'am, do you feel pain anywhere?" asked another one.

"Mhh...what?"

Then the pain did kick in. Your arm shot to your knee, it felt like you'd, well, you didn't know what it felt like, but it hurt.

The care assistants took a quick glance, and it was quite clear to see. Your kneecap was deformed. Fractured.

"Kiyo, I need a splint, Hyun-dae, tell the hospital about the patient." said one of the people.

"Gotcha Jae-dal." replied another.

Cheong-sin was getting worried now. Normally you'd have sent him a message or something, but you just hadn't responded at all.

"Cheong-sin? Is your secret girlfriend not replying?" called Hyang-hui from outside the door. Her footsteps retreated into the other room as Cheong-sin got up. He threw the door open but instead of confronting her, he approached the door out their hotel suite.

"Where are you going?"

"Out."

"You know the Counters are looking for you, right?"

"Don't care. I'll be back in a few hours."

"Hours?! Where are y—"

Cheong-sin closed the door.

After hailing a taxi, and paying the driver to go faster than was safe, he got off in front of your apartment building. He ran up the stairs, and hastily unlocked the door with the key you had given him.

Empty.

Now he was really worried. Not picking calls, not in your apartment, where would you be? Was he being obsessive? No, he wasn't.

*buzz* *buzz*

He yanked his phone from his pocket, to see two nerve-clenching messages.

"am in the hopsital"

"*hospital"

He could not have run faster.

You lay in your hospital bed after seeing the 4 missed calls from an unknown number. Cheong-sin was definitely worried about you. Well, you were worried about him too, you didn't want him to get hurt in his job as some sort of secret agent.

"Can I go to the place where you go home? My boyfriend's gonna be worried."

"Well we should keep you here for a bit, just to make sure your condition is stable."

"Well, I feel fine. My leg and hand hurt, but we established that in the ambulance. Can I go?" you asked.

"We don't advise it."

"I'll be fine. Is there like a form or something I can sign so I can leave?"

"Alright then. Yes, there is."

After signing, you were provided a pair of crutches, and assisted to the exit.

The next few seconds felt like a lifetime for Cheong-sin. As you came into frame, knee in a cast, and crutches under your shoulders, his heart sank. He rushed forward, eyes almost glassy.

"This is what happens when you form human connections, they're weak. They get hurt. Why not just kill her and save yourself the pain?", whispered the spirit, but Cheong-sin paid no notice. That was the furthest thing from his mind right now.

He pulled you close, burying his head into your shoulder, lifting you off the ground slightly.

You wrapped a feeble arm around him, smiling.

"I'm so, so sorry. If only I had been there I could've—"

"Quiet, aegiya." you said, pressing a hand to his mouth. "If you'd been there, you'd only have gotten hurt yourself."

"But I wouldn't have been." he started, pulling your hand away. "I could have got you out of the way, or stopped the car, or— I'm so sorry." he replied, squeezing your hand tightly.

Cheong-sin carried you in his arms all the way home. No matter how much you said you could walk, he refused to let you. You'd already been hurt enough.

He wouldn't be returning to the hotel tonight. Hyang-hui could wait.

Recovery.

Cheong-sin would try his best to be around for your recovery, but obviously he couldn't, but every chance he got he'd stay by your side, get you food, water, things to do, check on your situation, by phone if he couldn't be there in person. You wouldn't be able to worsen the injury even if you tried, despite what the hospital said. Your leg was immobilised, as was your [non-dominant] hand, so nothing could really happen to you.

The driver who had crashed into you was drunk, and was taken to the police station once the police were called. An accident took place that night.

A drunk driver was broken out of a holding cell in Jungjin police station. There were signs of a struggle, but there was no security footage for about 3 minutes in that police station. Once it came back, both drunk driver and the person who broke him out were gone.

Some people reported hearing screams late in the night, but when the area was examined, nothing was found.

No police officers had any record of this happening.

And Cheong-sin got home slightly later that night, with scarlet eyes.

[tizzypizza]

my super great awesome friends and i’s oc’s are agents 4, 8, and neo 3 so i’ve been having a ball making lore and doodling stuff for it 🫶

my neo agent 3 nana is a kamabo co inktoling and coincidentally happens to share some lore with my friend’s agent 8 which was super exciting 🫶

[sunnyhoneyshimmermagic]

here it is, everyone! the official (and not without mistakes but fuck it this is the best anyone will ever get) appearance tracker of EVERY BIG NATE CHARACTER (that matters at least a little bit, also I forgot Rusty sienna r.i.p)

THE TOP 10:

Nate: 11,106

2. Francis: 4,166

3. Teddy: 2,936

4. Marty: 1,541

5. Mrs. Godfrey: 890

6. Chad: 691

7. Ellen: 583

8. Mr. Rosa: 537

9. Gina: 506

10. Jenny: 427

Rounding out the top 20:

11. Dee Dee: 358

12. Artur: 343

13. Coach Calhoon: 339

14. Spitsy: 304

15. Principal Nichols: 255

16. School Picture Guy: 219

17. Sheila: 202

18. Coach John: 164

19. Gramps/Vern: 163

20. Mr. Glavin: 152

MORE THAN A 100 APPEARANCES:

21. Dr. Cesspool: 150

22. Gordie: 147

23. Ms. Clarke: 145

24. Czerwicki: 139

25. Kim: 119

26. Biff: 116

27. Gram/Marge: 107

STILL PRETTY MAJOR:

28. Chip: 99

29. Chester: 97

30. Mrs. Shipulski: 95

31. Peter: 92

32. Pickles: 91

33. Randy: 81

GETTING THERE:

34. Nate drawing of Mrs. Godfrey where she doesn’t appear: 74

35. Nurse Maureen Biology: 72

36. Angie: 71

37. Trudy: 67

38. Dan Cupid: 65

39. Uncle Ted: 64

40. Mr. Staples: 62

40. Daphne: 62

42. Nate drawing of Ellen where she doesn’t appear: 61

43. Mr. Eustis: 60

44. Bob Snuggles: 51

44. Kelly: 51 

46. Sherman: 50

47. Moe Mentum: 46

48. Marcus: 42

49. Miranda: 41

YEAH THESE ARE GETTING OBSCURE NOW:

50. Kenny Smithson: 39

50. Timmy Snuggles: 39

52. Nate drawing of Marty where he doesn’t appear: 38

53. Honey Snuggles: 35

54. Punkin Snuggles: 34

55. J.B.: 33

56. Nate drawing of Francis where he doesn’t appear: 27

57. Superdad: 24

58. Derek Nack: 20

59. Daisy: 19

59. Warren Fuzzy: 19

61. Mrs. Bigbee: 18

61. Nate drawing of Teddy where he doesn’t appear: 18

63. Slim Stubby: 15

63. Nate drawing of Jenny where she doesn’t appear: 15

65. Nate drawing of Kenny Smithson where he doesn’t appear: 14

65. Wayne: 14

65. Whitey: 14

68. The Brain (Chess Camp): 13

68. Lila: 13

68. Nate drawing of Mr. Rosa where he doesn’t appear: 13

71. Action Cat: 12

72. Audrey the Lifeguard: 11

72. Nate drawing of Mr. Galvin where he doesn’t appear: 11

72. Hickson: 11

72. Craig (incel): 11

76. Paige: 10

76. Nate drawing of Mr. Staples where he doesn’t appear: 10

76. Nigel (doppleganger): 10

THE BOTTOM OF THE BARREL:

79. Ronnie (Jenny’s Boyfriend): 9

80. Nate drawing of Gordie where he doesn’t appear: 8

80. Wink Summers: 8

80. Nate drawing of Nate where he doesn’t appear: 8

83. Kit: 7

83. Kaboodle: 7

83. Stan Cupid: 7

83. Emmit the Custodian: 7

87. Marla the Mailwoman: 6

88. Claire Voyant: 5

88. Fluffy Snuggles: 5

88. Nate drawing of Coach Calhoon where she doesn’t appear: 5

88. Nate Drawing of Ms. Clarke where he doesn’t appear: 5

92. Moe Mentum’s Agent: 4

92. Greg Proxmire: 4

92. Leo Tard: 4

92. She-Pulski: 4

92. Nate drawing of Principal Nichols where he doesn’t appear: 4

97. Jenny’s Dad: 3

97. Celine Paycheck: 3

97. Math Man: 3

97. Half-Pint: 3

97. Mrs. Holloway: 3

97. Stan Pokecheck: 3

97. Deke Boarding: 3

104. Nate drawing of Sheila where she doesn’t appear: 2

104. April Showers: 2

104. Mega Teen: 2

104. Ms. Brindle: 2

104. Nate drawing of La Chance where she doesn’t appear: 2

104. Nate drawing of Gina where she doesn’t appear: 2

104. Nate drawing of Pickles where she doesn’t appear: 2

104. Daphne’s mom: 2

112. Jenny’s Mom: 1

112. Nate drawing of ronnie where he doesn’t appear: 1

112. Nate drawing of Ms. Brindle where she doesn’t appear: 1

112. Nate drawing of Aldrige where she doesn’t appear: 1

112. Nate drawing of Wink Summers where he doesn’t appear: 1

112. Mrs. Williger: 1

112. Nate drawing of Uncle Ted where he doesn’t appear: 1

112. Nate drawing of Spitsy where he doesn’t appear: 1

112. Ultra Nate: 1

112. Algebro: 1

112. Nate drawing of Artur where he doesn’t appear: 1

112. Nate drawing of Chester where he doesn’t appear: 1

112. Mr. Holloway: 1

112. Nate drawing of Randy where he doesn’t appear: 1

112. Nate drawing of Kim where she doesn’t appear: 1

112. Nate drawing of Dee Dee where she doesn’t appear: 1

112. Nate drawing of Daphne where she doesn’t appear: 1

112. Nate drawing of Chad where he doesn’t appear: 1

Questions and replies are more than welcome! This list will update every Sunday when an arc is "over"!

[lilareviewsbooks]

Short SFF Books!

I know getting into SFF can be difficult because of the sheer size of series and books in the genres. So here’s a couple of speculative fiction picks that don’t require that much time to read :)

I’ve also made a part two for this, so check that out if you’d like some more short SFF!

This Is How You Lose The Time War, by Amal El-Mohtar & Max Gladstone

209 pages

sapphic rep

standalone

This one is a classic when it comes to short sci-fis (thank you, Bigolas Dickolas), and that’s definitely for a reason! This Is How You Lose The Time War is a story in an incredibly unique format that will, to be honest, probably emotionally devastate you in some way or another. 

Time War follows Red and Blue, two agents working for opposite sides of, you know it, a time war. Their job is to travel through time to change the odds for their respective “agencies”. But, of course, they can’t resist leaving each other messages along in the way - in the most unique manners possible.

This queer novella will take your breath away. It will lead you through multiple timelines, split into two perspectives, Red and Blue, with a beautiful, lyrical writing style, which will make you so invested in our two main characters. The author duo treats us to these fantastical, vivid settings, which are sparkling with potencial and leave you wanting to dive deeper.

Silver In The Wood, by Emily Tesh

112 pages

achillean rep

duology

This is part of the Greenhollow Duology, but can absolutely be read as a standalone. It’s also one of my all time favorites! Silver In The Wood follows Tobias, a groundskeeper who lives deep in the woods. When Henry Silver moves into the house Tobias watches, things change - there’s something in the woods, and Tobias might just have to introduce Henry to it. 

It’s been a while since I read this, but I haven’t forgotten about it. I’m always thinking about this book. The vibes are simply immaculate, and so cozy. It will literally make you feel like you’re in the woods. The character work is excellent, and focuses on older protagonists, which is always a treat. The romance is well-constructed and the second book is completely optional, taking place almost as a side-quest for the main couple. 

I wish there were so many more of these, but unfortunately there are only two. But damn, are they great! Highly recommend, Silver In The Wood and its sequel, Drowned Country!

The Singing Hills Cycle, by Nghi Vo

100 to 128 pages 

non-binary and sapphic rep

series

The Singing Hills Cycle is a good one to recommend, because it’s very low-commitment. You can pick whichever one of the three books (there’s soon to be a fourth!!) draws your interest, you can start with that one, and then go from there. The series follows Chih, a wandering cleric, from the Wandering Hills Abbey, which is preoccupied with keeping records of the history of this China-inspired kingdom. Chih goes around the territory with his talking bird Almost Brilliant, collecting stories.

This series is beautiful! Every book contains in it a beautiful exploration of folklore, and bite-sized story that will always warm your heart. Chih is a wonderful character around which to revolve this story, and their commitment to keeping records and history flows off the page - which is hella important, let’s record our history, folks! The side characters that show up on a book-by-book basis are always the best, and their dialogue is always the best part.

I highly recommend listening to the audiobook - I did so for the last installment,  Into The Riverlands, and it was amazing! Just a 2 hour listen, if that sells ya!

The Murderbot Diaries, starting with All Systems Red, by Martha Wells

144 to 256 pages

queer rep of all kinds! yay!

series

The Murderbot Diaries is for those of us looking for a bigger committment. The series currently has 7 books, one of which is a full-length novel. However, you can read the first book as a standalone and decide if you’d like to continue on following Murderbot’s adventures! Most of the books are 150 - 200 pages long, and so are a pretty quick read!

This is perfect if you enjoy a snarky narration style and a compelling protagonist who’s trying to figure out how they fit into the world. Murderbot, our main character and narrator, is a SecUnit, that is, a security android, that must accompany a scientific expedition to a distant planet, to keep the explorers safe. But Murderbot has hacked its security mode, and enjoys watching TV shows and chilling by itself. But when the mission starts to go wrong, it might need to perk up and start - oh, no! - interacting with the humans.

Although I haven’t read the whole series yet, - I’m waiting for the mood to come over me, okay! - I have the first three books under my belt, and I’m so excited to continue. Murderbot has this spark and this snark which is just so entertaining to read, and so this book will have you laughing and rooting for it as it tries to figure out how to fit in in human society. Such a compelling character, and I’m happy there’s a lot of content out there for me to consume.

The Emperor’s Soul, by Brandon Sanderson

192 pages

no gay rep :(

standalone

The Emperor’s Soul is a part of Mr. Sanderson’s Elantris universe, but can be read as a standalone without knowing anything else about this world. It’s a bit of a different rec - Mr. Sanderson’s writing style is - and I mean this in the politest way possible - dry as fuck, and definitely not for everyone. But there’s something here I think is worth your time.

The magic system here is so unique and so fascinating. The Emperor’s Soul follows Shai, a Forger, who can copy objects flawlessly by re-writing their history. But, suddenly, she’s enlisted to do the impossible - Forge the Emperor.

I would give this one a try, even if it’s not like all the others one I recommended. It’s a good read, and Mr. Sanderson is, like it or not, a classic fantasy writer that’s a must-read for most fantasy fans. And, for me, this and then Mistborn were perfect stepping in points for his fiction.

I have so many of these, guys. Like, literally, so many. So, let me know if you want more of these - I’ll write up another post! And if you’d more specific recs, feel free to drop an ask :) 

Also, check out my SFF books with queer-normal worlds list, if you’re looking for more gay stuff!

[coraclavia]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by the inestimable @mylittleredgirl. I could be doing Actual Things, but nah. This.

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 112

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 338,559

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mostly: Stargate Atlantis, Star Trek Voyager, Stargate SG-1, and recently added X-Files. I have also written a handful of things for The Rookie, I once wrote a gazillion things for Castle and Bones, and I've written for Due South, Cupid, Agent Carter, etc. It's a crazy quilt of "they're pretty; they should kiss."

[I also admit, shamefully, that I wrote 26 fics for Brad/Claire back in the Bon Appetit Test Kitchen days. They were posted under my other pen name, badtemperedchocolate.]

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

dark switch (Stargate SG-1, Sam/Jack; a re-imagining of what might have happened once Jack returned from Edora)

Five Times Sam Gets Married (Stargate SG-1, Sam/Jack; exactly what it says on the tin)

Guest Lecture (Star Trek Voyager, J/C; Kathryn delivers a lecture at Starfleet Academy after their return home)

Acquired Taste (The Rookie, Chenford; 5+1 in the form of a bakery AU)

here's a dumb idea (Stargate SG-1, Sam/Jack; "what if they had to kiss")

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes! I try to. Sometimes I'm slow, sometimes I miss one, but I try to respond.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmm. I don't do a lot of sad stuff, I guess? I guess I see the end of fall in place as angsty, just because it's in line with the real end of the season (John and Monica are on the run, with everything they had now long gone).

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Uhhhhh. Maybe The Woman in the Snow? "And then I fixed it and they got to be happy, finally, unlike canon. The end."

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not really. Many moons ago, I got some rude comments on Castle fic, but that was a long time back, and it wasn't bad. So not really.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I have, but I rarely do anymore. For me it has to be part of a larger romance; I really can't do pwp. I much prefer a tasteful fade-to-black which means I don't have to keep calculating bare skin and body parts 😂

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Not often, but I did write one: Stolen Sky, a Castle/Firefly crossover. iirc, it was the first, or maybe one of the first, Mal/Kate stories? It did pretty well, and it was funny reading comments that said "I only watched one of these shows, and this fic convinced me to watch the other one, too." It was originally posted on ffnet; I have since transferred it to AO3.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes! Only once that I know of. It was a (not very good) (since deleted) Bones fic that got stolen in its entirety; all the thief did was change character names. I reported it, and it was taken down.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? 

I have! It was very flattering.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! I co-wrote Castle fics with chezchuckles, Cartographicals, sandianecarter, and shimmeryshine back in the day. It was a DELIGHT. I would love to do it again!! (looking at you, @mylittleredgirl 😜)

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

I honestly don't know if I could pick just one. John/Elizabeth from Stargate Atlantis, Janeway/Chakotay from Voyager, John/Monica from X-Files, and Castle/Beckett are all up there. It rotates based on what I'm watching at any given time.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have this wonderful giant Voyager "missed connection" fic in my brain, where KJ and Chakotay belatedly realize they met at the Academy and fell a little bit in love in just one silly, lighthearted, adventurous evening of running around San Francisco together. I have a very long, detailed outline for it; we'll see if I ever tackle it for real.

16. What are your writing strengths?

@mylittleredgirl would say fluff, and I don't disagree. I love characters bantering, I love teasing, I love when they're kind and heartfelt to each other. I think I'm good at little moments like that.

UPDATE: LR has reported that my strength is, in fact, "FEELINGS."

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I do not enjoy writing smut; sometimes it's good for the story, but I do not like writing it and I don't think I'm particularly good at it. I have trouble fleshing a thing out from first idea to polished product. Physical accounts of action baffle me sometimes. Also, I often find it hard to come up with convincing conflict. I'm fluffy at heart, I guess.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

It can be effective, I guess? But there's usually a way around it if necessary. I haven't really had to deal with it, so I don't have strong feelings about it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Oh shit, I think this was Numb3rs. It was a really fun crime show on CBS featuring a mathematician who did Big Complicated Math to help the FBI solve crimes. I wrote a bunch of fics for it, they were all absolutely terrible, and yes, I have long since deleted them.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Letters From War, a Voyager fic where KJ and Chakotay keep in correspondence with each other through the Dominion War. It's the sequel to By Firelight, but took a long, long time to put together, and once a few conversations and ideas clicked into place, it felt like it all came together. I was happy with how it turned out.

--

Thanks for the tag, Little Red! I am tagging @cfr749, @captaincarriekathryncoffee, and @neverenough37 (apologies if y'all have already done this and I missed it).

[wanderingmind867]

I once mentioned how I had a reading list for Marvel in my phone's notes app. I've tried to sort it by character, and it's mostly just a collection of Marvel Masterworks so far. I'm mostly reading whatever I can find online, of course. (if I can't find a masterwork, I read whatever I can find online). Here's some of it:

Marvel Masterworks: The Fantastic Four Vols 1-19: Everything from issue #1 to issue #218, right before John Byrne starts writing. For me, all this is peak fantastic four. Because as previously noted, I don't think I'd care for John Byrne's run.

Marvel Masterworks: Iron Man Vols 1-12: Everything from the beginnings back in Tales of Suspense, down to Iron Man #112. So everything up to right before the Demon in a Bottle storyline, give or take a few issues.

Marvel Masterworks: The Avengers Vols 1-16 and 18: Everything from Issue #1 up to Issue #163. All of Stan Lee, Roy Thomas and Steve Englehart's runs. Then I refuse to read Masterwork 17, because I hate the Korvac saga. So we pick back up for our finale with volume 18 and issues #178-188. Or the issues directly preceding the disastrous issue #200, give or take a bit.

Marvel Masterworks: The X-Men Vols 1-7: All the old stuff. The entire original X-Men stories, from #1 to #66. Plus the solo Beast stories from the 70s, and some other solo or crossover related X-Men stuff. This is the last X-Men thing I'll read, as I hate Chris Claremont's X-Men. Quite a lot.

Marvel Nasterworks: Nick Fury, Agent of Shield Vols 1-3: All Nick Fury's classic spy stories. These seem fun, honestly. I haven't read much spy fiction, but this sure sounds more interesting than Nick Fury's old ww2 stuff.

This is just some of it. If you want me to share more, I can try to. it'll probably be a bit dull to read, but it might be nice to share it.

[ussjellyfish]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @mylittleredgirl, who has been a good cheerleader friend for like 20 years now. That's wild.

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 428.

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 2,852,289

3. What fandoms do you write for?

112 - Once Upon a Time (though not lately),

81 - Star Trek the Next Generation,

78 - Star Trek Discovery,

75 - Star Trek Voyager,

42 - Agents of SHIELD.

And many others. The forecast is for Discovery to take the top slot.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Two really long (100k plus) Once Upon a Time babyfics, one Game of Thrones little what if one shot where Catelyn saves the book, one little femslashy Game of Thrones oneshot with really nice poetic language, and a Once Upon a Time Dragon Queen babyfic that might be one of the best things I've ever written.

(Write a really long fic in the most popular ship of a pretty big femslash fandom and one goes get a LOT of kudos).

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try. I get tired, I mean to respond. I forget, I get overwhelmed. I'm trying. I have... 2507 unread comments on Ao3 going back over 8 years. I'm not doing terribly well, but I try.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

When I the starry courses know Star Trek Voyager: Kathryn Janeway/Borg Queen.

Janeway sacrifices herself to the Borg to save her crew. It's pretty dark.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of them? Without Knowing How, perhaps, because characters who were dead in canon wake up in an AU where they're married, happy, and have a baby, and they're really sweet in how they just roll with it. (Philippa Georgiou/Katrina Cornwell, Star Trek Discovery).

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not really...once someone wrote a fic about how much they hated a threesome I was writing (a few other people were them too, and it was fun). Once Upon a Time was a wild fandom. I did take it very personally at the time.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

sometimes, I prefer foreplay and flirting and all the things that come after the smut. Smut does lead to babies sometimes though so...I have to write it. Sometmes I'm in the mood and sometimes I'm not.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Stargate Atlantis and Star Trek the Next Generation, which was nice, all the characters are kind and thoughtful and the tech going back and forth was fun.

Hilariously that fic got linked on some forum about starships where they critiqued my starship combat.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I have not.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? 

I have! There are a few on ao3.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

A livejournal friend and I cowrote two Janeway/Chakotay fics, back in the day, and they were so fun. They're very soft.

I was Janeway, B'Elanna, Seven and Tuvok. She was Chakotay, Tom Paris, the Doctor and Harry Kim.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Kathryn Janeway/Beverly Crusher probably? All time is hard. I'm much more of a "current time" person.

Currently it's Michael Burnham/Laira Rillak.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have the following WIPs

Universe Travelling 4 year old causes chaos and romance.

Michael rescues her sick girlfriend.

Quantum - (the baby's here, so...how do they go back to work...I need to reread the whole thing to make sure I have all the threads)

Michael gets pon farr.

The first two are for year of the OTP so I have until December 2024 to finish them. I like they, there's a good bit written of both, so that's likely.

Quantum owns my soul, so I will finish that, but it might be slow. I get distracted.

Pon Farr I am working on today! so I feel good.

16. What are your writing strengths?

long character arcs. Dialogue. Soft things with gentle emotions and slow plot.

Character goes on a long emotional journey while she is pregnant and then gives birth under unpredictable circumstances, while being loved and supported. is my thing. It could be on the tin containing my fic.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Description. I don't see things. I don't bother. My fics take place in a void where costumes and setting are barely mentioned.

I don't write intensity, or plot that moves quickly. I get distracted by world building and OCs.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I don't do it. I usually write something about how "she said in Vulcan" or something. I speak some German, some Mandarin, I might try that if I have a native speaker to help me, but likely not.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Star Trek the Next Generation!! I handwrote a self insert fic into my journal as a child. I think I was middle school aged.

I wrote a bunch of Sunset Beach on forums, then Star Trek the Next Geration, and one of my oldest internet published fics is on Ao3. That fic turns 23 this year.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Ever ever?

Right this moment it's...migrations and other recurring phenomena because I keep rereading it and I like it.

Michael and Laira are trapped in a turbolift and they look after each other, then they flirt and make out and have sex and the desire to have sex is really well done.

Next time I do this meme it might be different, but right now. I really love that one.

(it also does not get enough love, it's good, dammit).

tagging @lonesomehighways, @moomkin77, @purlturtle, @sadmushroomgoblin, @concentfortea, @an-inky-fingered-lass, @thewitchofelpis, @lenfaz @liz-squids @divinemissem13 if you feel like it.