#ahh.. to be honest i struggled with this prompt

[wanderer-six]

Golden Hour (for @starrylothcat)

NSFW (MINORS DNI)

AN:  This is a gift for @starrylothcat as thanks for reading over my veRY long fic for the clone fic exchange--THANK U SO MUCH AGAIN and I really hope I did this prompt justice to thank u properly ahh HUNTER IS SUCH A DOLL and indulging in island life with Hunter ohhh what a dream skldhfls PLEASE ENJOY and thank u so much again ♥♥

Relationships: Hunter x Fem Jedi!Reader

Summary: You and Hunter have always harbored feelings for one another, but the galaxy always had something more pressing for the two of you to focus on. Now that you've arrived on Pabu, it seems you finally have a chance to be honest with yourselves and share how you truly feel... nerve-wracking as that may be.

Warnings: sweet to start, leading to smut (oral m! receiving, unprotected piv sex) (@starrylothcat said "I’m ok with some smutty smut kissy kissy too" aND I HOPE THIS ISNT TOO MUCH SMUTTY SMUT KISSY KISSY slkdhflkdsh)

Word Count: 3.5k

After months of running from the Empire, after years of war, Pabu was a dream.

The setting sun painted the calm, sprawling ocean warm orange and red. Standing outside the little bungalow you’d been staying in, the breeze rolling through your hair, you felt like the star of some sappy holovid–certainly a far cry from the role of Jedi General that you used to play. 

The scene reminded you of the sunset over Coruscant, memories from back in your youth when you’d actually been able to enjoy such a sight. Having the time–the freedom–to enjoy it again now… you weren’t sure how to feel. 

Pabu really was a dream. But much like your fondest dreams, you struggled to grow too attached, knowing you’d inevitably wake up. You always did.

Still, it was nice to pretend, even if it couldn’t last. You had a quaint home, your beloved squad (who had found plenty to enjoy about the island, themselves)... why couldn’t you be happy, just for a little while?

“I was wondering where you’d run off to…”

A bitter smile formed on your lips. Whether he knew it or not, he was one of your lingering reservations.

Hunter ascended the stone stairway, making his way to your side and leaning against the half-wall of the balcony.

“Mind if I join you?” he asked.

“Seems like you already have,” you teased.

Hunter chuckled. His gaze turned out to the ocean, but yours remained on him for a moment. Though he looked perfectly at peace, you could feel a buried tension within him through the Force.

“This place sure is something, isn’t it?” he remarked.

“Yeah,” you nodded, “it’s nice, finally getting a chance to relax. We all needed it.”

Hunter hummed in agreement, before falling silent. Still, he wouldn’t–or couldn’t–meet your gaze. With the way his eyes darted, and his lips pursed, you could tell he struggled with what to say next. The silence overstayed its welcome, until finally, he spoke.

“You know, being here has me… thinking about things.”

“Oh?”

You hated this game you played with one another, this dance around a truth that both of you pretended not to know. With your Force sensitivity and his heightened senses, you shared an understanding of one another that no one else could comprehend. On the battlefield, it made working in tandem a breeze. Off the battlefield–where it was just the two of you with no distractions–it made denying this thing between you nigh impossible.

You only wish one of you would be brave enough to spit it out. And though the thought gripped your heart with panic, Pabu clearly filled Hunter with courage.

“I think Shep was right,” he sighed. “If there was anywhere I’d want to lie low and settle down, this would be it.”

You nodded, your gaze falling.

“We could certainly do worse,” you noted, though your disheartened expression didn’t match your words. You knew he couldn’t stall forever. You only wish you had any idea of how you’d respond once he broached the subject.

Quiet fell over you again, the gentle island breeze deafening in comparison. You waited for Hunter to speak, not bold enough to break the silence yourself. Eventually, you heard not his voice, but a frustrated sigh.

And to your utmost surprise, his gloved hand boldly took yours.

Face burning red, you looked up at Hunter–only to find him looking back at you, brow furrowed and eyes intense. You could feel his heart racing through the Force, but he didn’t falter, braving his fears to hold your gaze. That was the man you would gladly lay down your life for.

The man you had fallen in love with.

“Listen… I know this won’t be easy to hear–it’s certainly not easy to say,” he began, straightforward and blunt now, “but… we need to talk. About us.”

Just as he promised, it wasn’t easy to hear. You pouted slightly, though you kept your eyes on his.

“What about us?” you feigned.

Hunter narrowed his gaze.

“You know what.”

Though panic tried to bubble up in your chest, Hunter’s hand squeezing yours anchored you in the moment.

“If there was ever a time for us to try being more than what we are now, this is it,” he pressed.

Despite his vote of confidence, doubts still nagged at the back of your mind. You pursed your lips, grappling with your words.

“I don’t know, Hunter…” you mumbled.

Hunter stepped closer to you. He faced you now, and you faced him in turn. Gently, he took your other hand into his grasp, keeping his eyes focused solely on you.

“Look… I know you’re scared–and believe me, I’m scared, too,” he sighed. He frowned, his eyes pleading with you as he continued. “But what scares me more is the thought of going my whole life never showing you what you really mean to me.”

Moving even closer, his lips mere inches from yours, he set a hand gently on your cheek. Despite your words of hesitation, you leaned into his touch with ease. His thumb ran along your cheekbone as he gazed upon your face with such affection and warmth.

“I’m not going to force you to do anything, but if you’re willing… I want to try,” he said. “You’re worth it. We’re worth it.”

Having heard your whole life that forming attachments would lead only to suffering, the fear that possessed you in that moment made every bit of sense. Still, you knew that Hunter was being truthful to say you were not alone in your worries. From both the clones’ training and his own reservations, the thought of forming ties with you filled him with fear, all the same. Yet, he wished to brave that fear for you. It was one of many things you loved about him–that he could look fear in the eyes and push through it without question.

And if you could brave a thousand droids to keep him safe, you could brave this unknown–especially if he braved it with you.

Swallowing your fear, you closed the distance between you, pressing your lips to Hunter’s as you’ve longed to for years now.

Hunter didn’t waste a moment, readily sweeping you into his arms as the kiss deepened. His hands gripped at your waist as though he feared losing hold of you somehow, but with your arms draped over his shoulders, hands tangled in his hair, you made it clear you were there to stay. On this beautiful island, with the love of your life… where else would you rather be than here?

When at last you broke away, your eyes fluttered open, relieved to see Hunter smiling back at you. He pressed his forehead to yours, and you beamed.

“Can’t say how long I’ve wanted to do that,” he grinned.

“Not as long as I have, I bet,” you teased.

Hunter dotted a small peck on your lips, before heaving a sigh–not of frustration this time, but one of content. For a moment, you simply held one another, basking in the glow of the sun and the warmth of your love. After a while, you went to speak again, but before you could, the lanterns around you flickered on, illuminating you and the rest of the island as dusk faded to night. 

“Guess that’s my cue,” Hunter chuckled. “I should get going, but… I’m glad we’re on the same page.”

Hunter stepped away from you, but couldn’t go much further–not when your hands took hold of his. He looked back at you with surprise, only to find you pouting… and blushing.

“I… I want you to stay,” you murmured.

Hunter’s eyes went wide, but soon enough, he found his confidence–confidence made much worse by your bashfulness. It was rare for him to have a leg up on you, and he seemed eager to enjoy it while he could.

“Well, I’d love to, but… it’s getting late–I need to get back to my bungalow,” he sighed dramatically. His grin widened as he continued. “That is… unless you think there’s somewhere else I could sleep…”

You tilted your head, narrowing your eyes at him and frowning. Your expression told him all he needed to know: stop being such a smartass and stay the night. Unable to resist you, he chuckled, drawing you closer and pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“All right, all right; I’ll stay,” he conceded. “You won’t hear me complaining, that’s for sure…”

Smiling again, you kissed him once more, keeping his hand in yours as you led him toward the door of your place. 

, , ,

When you went inside, a small feeling of comfort came over you at the sight of your little bungalow. By all accounts, it was barren, save for the furniture that Shep and the locals had been kind enough to supply you with. You’d strewn around a few knick knacks you’d picked up in your travels with the Batch, along with some decorations you’d bought on Pabu itself. But even lightly decorated, it was the closest thing to a home you’d had since the Jedi Temple on Coruscant.

“Nice place,” Hunter teased, looking over the ‘nothing’ that comprised your humble residence. “Lived here long?”

As you locked the door behind you, you rolled your eyes. You turned to him with a smirk, draping your arms around his neck once more.

“Actually, I just moved in,” you answered, grin widening as his hands found your hips. “In fact, I was thinking just this morning about how it could use some breaking in…”

Hunter looked you over, his expression caught somewhere between love and lust.

“Heh… I think I could lend you a hand there,” he chuckled.

Boldly, Hunter lifted you into his arms, prompting you to wrap your legs around his waist as he met you in another kiss–though one far hungrier than what you’d shared before. He carried you over to the bed, laying you down on the plush white covers before parting from you with a kiss on the forehead.

“Here, let me get these out of your way,” he said, getting to work removing the bulky armor pieces that he wore even over his so-called civilian attire. You watched him intently as he shuffled piece after piece onto the floor, until at last the clothes beneath were all that remained. When he reached for the bottom of his shirt and peeled it off over his shoulders, he met your gaze with a smirk.

“Enjoying yourself?” he asked.

With a bright smile, you could only nod. You and Hunter had caught glimpses of one another in various states of undress before–living aboard a ship as cramped as the Marauder was bound to lead to that. But watching him strip fully before you–and for you, at that–thrilled you far more than an absent glance at his shirtless figure as he left the shower. No, at last, he was finally yours to see… though “seeing” was far from all you wished to do.

Now stripped to just his pants, Hunter returned to you, his lips finding yours again with ease. His body felt hot against your skin, but when his fingers trailed beneath the hem of your shirt, you shivered. You had gotten in the habit of dressing down on Pabu, enjoying the warm sun and cool breeze of island life. But while it made Hunter’s job of undressing you that much easier, it left you feeling that much more vulnerable.

Gently, Hunter worked your cropped shirt off your shoulders, his lips parting from yours as the fabric crossed between the two of you. Seeing you bare before him, Hunter’s eyes widened. A blush flooded your cheeks, and you looked away, ready to make a snarky remark about his staring. But when his hands found your chest, your words left you, replaced with a shaky whimper.

“Hunter…!” you gasped as his fingers sunk into the softness of your skin. Though rough from years of combat, his hands treated you so carefully. His caressing filled you with warmth, and you could tell he was enjoying himself just as much.

“I just can’t believe how beautiful you are,” he remarked. With a chuckle, he added, “And I can’t believe I’m finally lucky enough to tell you.”

With one parting kiss on your lips, his mouth moved down your body to lavish your breasts with attention. He latched onto one of your nipples, holding it gently between his teeth as his tongue swirled around it. You could hardly handle the sensation, short of breath with every purse of his lips against your skin, but it seemed he still had more in mind.

One of his hands trailed slowly down your stomach, slipping beneath the waistband of your shorts. Pressing lightly, but still firmly enough to drive you crazy, he began tracing tight circles on your panties–right over the place you craved his touch the most.

“Hunter!” you gasped again. Between his mouth and his fingers, it was no wonder your face burned. “Kriff, Hunter…”

His eyes practically glowed in the low light, doing nothing to help your flustered state when they peered up at you. He plucked his lips from your chest, smirking that awful smirk as he continued teasing you with his fingers.

“You’re already soaked,” he whispered, lips pressed to your ear in a way that far from helped the matter. “I’m guessing you’ve been hoping for this as much as I have…”

While any other night you’d be content to lose yourself in this attention, he guessed correctly–you had been hoping for this as much, and as long, as he had. Which meant, unfortunately for him, that you were far from ready to give in.

Mustering up your strength, you threw your weight around him, rolling him over so that he rested beneath you, with you straddling his hips. Though his eyes went wide, you smirked down at him, running a hand through that beautiful, long hair of his.

“Where do you get off, showing me all this attention?” you purred, fingers tracing down his muscular chest. 

Finding a smirk to match yours, Hunter tugged you closer by your hips. Between your legs, you could feel just how achingly hard he’d grown.

“I think you know where,” he snarked back. 

Rolling your eyes, you backed off of him, pulling his pants down to his thighs as you went. When his length was finally exposed to you, you could hardly contain your excitement. You took hold of him, delighting in the way his expression turned when you began to stroke his shaft.

“Ah… just like that,” he breathed, losing himself in the rhythmic pumping you spoiled him with. Though he seemed to enjoy this plenty, you had other plans in mind.

“Hm… just like this?” you asked, your playful tone causing him to raise an eyebrow at you. Boldly, you leaned in closer to his length. “But what about this?”

Before he could speak, your lips pressed against his tip, catching his words in his throat. With a swirl of your tongue around his head, you opened your mouth, taking his cock inside and sucking on him. The precum that flowed from his length coated your tongue, and you readily coaxed more from him with every bob of your head.

Hunter’s breath hitched in his chest, and his moans only made you more eager to please him. While one of his hands gripped at the white comforter beneath him, the other tangled itself in your hair, keeping it out of your face so he could watch your lips descend on his cock over and over. Each time you’d glance at him, the hunger in his eyes made you ache between your hips.

When your lips met the base of his cock–when you felt the tip probe against your throat–Hunter gasped. 

“Fuck, cyare!”

His hand tightened in your hair, pulling your mouth from his length with an unceremonious pop. When you looked up at him, you found his eyes half-lidded with lust, a red haze tinting his tanned cheeks.

“Ride me,” he begged, a rasp in his voice that sent a shiver through your body.

With a wordless nod, you straddled his hips, aching to be filled by him just as he ached to fill you. You lined him up with your opening, only hesitating when you felt his hands settle on your hips. He flashed a smile at you–one you matched with ease.

Then, carefully, you set yourself down on his length. You descended with agonizing patience, until you finally bottomed out against his hips. His cock filled you so perfectly, your walls gripping him as though you might never let him go. Not that he wanted to go anywhere–judging by the way he clung to your hips so hard you worried they might bruise, he seemed content to stay buried inside of you for the rest of time.

“Mm, Hunter…” you breathed. With your hands planted firmly on his shoulders, you started to ride him, whimpering as you moved. “I didn’t think you would feel this good.”

Through his breathless moans, he chuckled.

“You didn’t?” he teased. 

You bit your lip and grinned back at him.

“Is it so hard to believe you could surpass my every fantasy, Sergeant?” you asked.

Hunter smirked. “I guess not…”

Catching you by surprise, Hunter thrusted against your hips as you rode him, nearly knocking the air out of you and filling your eyes with stars.

“But then again, I think you know better than to underestimate me.”

In no time at all, you found yourself limp against Hunter’s chest, face buried in the crook of his neck. His arms held you firmly against him by your waist as he pounded his cock into you over and over, dizzying you with delight. As he fucked you, he pressed his lips to your head, whispering sweet nothings against you between his labored moans.

You’re beautiful.

I’m all yours.

Let me take care of you, cyare.

And take care of you he did. By the time you neared your peak, you lay beneath him, your fingers raking down his toned back. The tension mounted between your hips with every thrust, made worse with his thumb drawing rhythmic circles on your clit.

“Hunter,” you moaned between languid kisses on his neck, “I’m close…”

“Me, too,” he sighed. “Where do you want me, love?”

You gazed intently into his eyes, your forehead on his.

“Inside,” you whispered without a moment’s thought.

With a nod, Hunter’s lips met yours, and he buried himself in you over and over until you could scarcely handle it. Breathless, your chest seized. You grasped onto him, nails digging into his skin as your orgasm overwhelmed you. Waves of ecstasy rippled through your core, your cunt fluttering around Hunter’s cock in such a way that fulfilling your desire was all but an inevitability for him. He filled you with his cum, your name parting from his lips as he met his end.

For all the battles you had endured at his side, you had never once seen Hunter this breathless. He trembled, held up by just his forearms, looking into your eyes with all the love in the galaxy. Only once he’d met you in one last loving kiss did he pull out of you, collapsing at your side and drawing you into his embrace.

The two of you shared in silence once again–though this time, not one filled by an unspoken tension between you. Instead, it was one of understanding, of comfort. A silence shared between two souls who understood one another, finally laid bare after hiding for so long.

Eventually, you smiled, giggling quietly–much to Hunter’s amusement.

“What’s so funny?” he smirked, squeezing your hips playfully.

Looking up at him with bright eyes, you bumped your nose against his.

“Nothing. I just… can’t believe it took us this long,” you confessed.

Hunter chuckled. “Believe me: if I’d known you would react like that, I would’ve worked up the courage to say something a long time ago…”

Rolling your eyes, you draped your arms over Hunter’s shoulders, luring him in for another soft, sweet kiss.

“Well… I’m just happy we’re trying now,” you sighed.

Though you had more to say, a quiet yawn interrupted your thoughts. Hunter helped you beneath the covers, plenty worn out himself. By now, night had fully fallen over Pabu, and the quiet back-and-forth of the tide beckoned both of you to rest.

“I’m happy, too,” Hunter said, voice hushed as his fingers worked soothingly through your hair. “Even if it’s hard to admit… I think we both deserve it.”

With a warm smile, you nestled against Hunter’s chest, adoring the way his body kept you warm and protected from the night air.

“I do, too…” you mumbled, fading fast now. “Good night, Hunter… sweet dreams.”

Hunter smiled, closing his eyes with his lips pressed against your head.

“Yeah… sweet dreams,” he whispered.

AN: Thank you for reading!! I feel like this fic got away from me LOL but nonetheless I hope you enjoyed we love soft Hunter mwah mwah!~~✨✨

[7ban-sama]

You know one of my favorite binaries between the twins is Repression vs Expression, Amane trying to maintain a veneer of composure & never let anyone know what he’s really thinking and feeling, whereas Tsukasa is so honest with his desires it simply pours out of him, unbridled, well representing the heart of a 4-year-old...

I wish we had language that didn't connotate negativity around the concept of drawing out someone's true feelings... I think the concept of being really enthralled with reactions/emotions sooner procures you the mental image of a bully of some kind trying to get a rise out of you, but-! I think what Tsukasa is doing is a lot more personal and intimate than a kid at the playground throwing sand at you, or something. it's ah, a lot more like, precise than that really, like a sniper's trained precision saying things you want to hear, or aren't ready to hear, and watching as you struggle with the aftermath... knowing that the struggle is a product of your own reluctance to submit to the truth.

as someone who dealt with majorly repressing my emotions, I feel so familiar with how stubborn and self-protective the mindset can be. you feel so certain it is good to be completely "in-control", no matter how maladaptive and detrimental it is for you & your loved ones. there's like an implicit trust issue... but not just with others, with yourself, really. I see Amane as someone who does not like the intensity that he can observe within himself at all... The emotions are worrisomely passionate, entitled, and greedy, you... don't feel you can trust yourself to be in love. It's just a bad idea. Ah, I remember it so vividly, all of the struggle... being terrified of my own capacity for love, because of the selfishness born from that love...

I think JSHK is just doing a good job at embodying that fear, in a fantastical manner; I looove when stories make the obstacles presented less mental, and more questionable, like — if Amane's love for Nene prompts him to do, objectively upsetting, awful, harmful things, is that OK? But of course, I love the fantastical follow-up TO this posed question, where the answer is — yes! Or maybe even... it doesn't matter, you're going to be loved anyways!

the fantastical-ness is even in the sheer degree of Amane's repression, and how difficult it is to contend with him, as a mononoke wielding supreme power over the school mysteries, he's quite an entity to thwart. but this is why it's also satisfying that someone like Nene can have profound effects on him through her sincerity, and that Tsukasa can still draw out a wet-eyed, pleading part of Amane's heart, ahh, isn't it wonderful?

I'm rambling without a goal, but, basically I think this carries through into Tsukasa being fantastical levels of drawing out your feefees, providing you with temptation you cannot deny, unraveling you, bringing you to your knees, etc etc... I know people can be wary of Tsukasa's methods ww, maybe it seems so intense, like bringing a sledgehammer down on someone, but you just have to think about it like, Amane is a walnut made of solid diamonds or something, that is the force we are contending with. You're gonna need all your tools to disassemble this guy's self-imposed chains.

and then, you know, it's a manga that is horny for shotas wielding knives and making crazy expressions, so there's moments that are just for fun. let's have fun.

[scorchedhearth]

omg if u are still interested in doing the director’s commentary ask game would LOVE 2 hear your commentary on ‘the other side of the coin’ and/or ‘insurmountable’ they’re some of my faves <3 <3

ahh, thank u!!! im glad u like those pieces <33 will do the other side of the coin!!

ask for my director's commentary of a fic

this is one of if not my favorite fic i wrote in 2022! I wrote it for the whumptober challenge with the prompt blood covered hand, kyle wasn’t on my mind at first for this one and i dont remember how i got the idea, just that i knew i wanted to use a repetitive motif here with the mention of the days blending together. the fic starts and ends with ‘the days are blending together’ to really insist on the idea that kyle is trapped in the current situation, that every day are the same to him, and in the structure of the piece the ending and beginning are the same, like a loop.

there’s a balance with this fic being less factual than others i’ve written but using sparse poetic language and more flowery forms to show kyle’s state of mind, that he’s running thin and the text itself cannot come up with beautiful ways of describing the war happening around him. i did this a lot, like the descriptions being cut by an action to show the fight around him taking his focus, or many small, short and factual sentences to once again prove kyle’s exhausted state. in general im a big fan of when medium makes u feel how the characters feel with tricks like that so i was pumped to do that here

another thing was trying to explore is kyle’s mindset in the omega men, i find it’s not a book that’s talked about often in fandom circles so i really wanted to sink my teeth in it and write out my thoughts about it, how kyle is struggling with trying to do the right thing, the heroic thing, while being used to fight a bloody and violent war, how he knows he’s being used but he can’t abandon them either, and how this conflict is slowly but surely eating at him.

i just had to put hands in there, u know me, but it was my favorite part to write! how the blood and gore around him isn’t human in the slightest (green, thick, sweet) but shock him just the same, how it’s not the first time it happens and won’t be the last, how it’s so antithetical to being a green lantern to have one’s hand covered in blood, and especially how kyle can’t ignore it. he wants to be able to do that, to go around helping and fighting but the weight of the violence is taking a toll on him and keeps him down, another thing he’s struggling with. that’s why there’s the line about radu’s calloused hand from good and honest work, in implicit contrast to his gloves and blood-covered ones

the fact that he doesn’t say a word, even when spoken to, is another indicator of his current state, the person who loves to connect with others, to speak and share and communicate, unable to utter a single word. and kalista was great to write, i have my doubts with how kind wrote her in the book and his inspiration, but nonetheless she’s an interesting character, and it’s hard for kyle to be able to understand the months spent together as used to manipulate him when he fell in love hard and fast (kyle’s attitude with love and being a hero and how they’re often the same thing so interesting too!), so it’s important that he can’t dismiss her and her words even when she says things he viscerally doesn’t agree with (‘you did good’ when he’s drenched in blood)

that’s why the last part is important, there’s this sort of moment of clarity, where kyle drops the bloody suit but can still feel the blood on his apparently clean hands, and he knows for a fact he doesn’t want to do this, he knows he’s being used and manipulated, he knows he’s going against many of his beliefs, and that they’re still forcing his hand now, but all of this is swiped away when he realizes that tomorrow will be exactly the same, and the exhaustion and endless loop of fight and death he’s stuck in wipe away any of his more powerful thoughts to leave behind tired resignation

also! the title comes from (i believe) the second issue of the omega men, when kyle talks to kalista about how he got the ring and he explains the other side of the coin, that he's a hero but lost so much and has so much doubt, i found it cheeky to show the other side of the reality of a fight like this, that for kalista's eagerness and ruthless pursuit, there are kyle's struggles and doubts

[dynyamight]

bkdk … 12 ? ༼ つ ◕◡◕ ༽つ

12. “I think we need to talk."

The moment Bakugou opened the gym doors, and smelled rain in the air, he knew he had to book it back to the dorms.

Slamming his feet on the pavement floor, he forces himself to run out. His muscles ache all over, and his arms barely want to stay up, pumping at his side. But, he rather try and make his way to his room dry, than have a downpour soak him to his bones.

By the time he reaches to the safe, dry front steps of the dorm building, the rain finally begins. Lightly, the drops splatter slowly to the ground.

Catching his breath, Bakugou stops by the rails, holding onto one side as his muscles cramp. His thighs are burning, and his arms want to fall off entirely. But, he let's his mind focus on the pain.

He's had a rough fucking week, and for once, his mind was elsewhere.

“It’s starting to rain now, isn’t it.”

Bakugou jolts, quickly facing up to that familiar voice. That voice that haunts his dreams, ingrained deep into his mind. That voice that makes his heart race just a little quicker. That voice, from the one and only.

That forgetful nerd.

“Ah, sorry! I didn’t mean to spook you.’ Midoriya says quickly, offering an apologetic smile. He’s sitting on the front porch, holding onto a book close to his chest. “You probably thought you were the only one out here, right?”

“..You don’t have to apologize.” He breathes out. Despite the haywire of his nerves, exploding his insides, the words roll off his tongue easily. It's oddly the same phrase he's used each time they've met. "S'not like you personally screwed me over."

"Ah, my bad—"

"What did I just say."

“I—" Midoriya weakly chuckles, shaking his curls. "I guess I can't help it. I promise I won't forget.”

No matter how many times Bakugou hears that, it always sounds so genuine, so real. Rather than an empty promise. "I'll hold you to it, Deku." He mutters, regardless.

"What does that—" A light shines through Midoriya's gaze, and immediately he smiles. "Wait, you know what. I swear that's not the first time someone has said that to me. Deku."

Chills run down Bakugou’s spine. That's never happened. He's never slipped up. Fuck. “..Really?”

“Yeah, it sounds so familiar. But, I don’t remember exactly where I've heard it before.”

Both disappointment and relief flood his whole entire body. He doesn’t know what he would do if Midoriya would remember all his terrible attempts, though a part of him did yearn for recognition.

However, maybe it was for the best. Give them a fresh start, every time. Fucking hip hip hurray.

Hell, maybe this was the world's way of sending him all the karma that he has built up. It decided to pick the one person he deeply cares about, and make both of them suffer.

Bakugou looks back at the book Midoriya held, something in his mind reminding him about one of the first talks since the incident. “Is that Catch-22?” Bakugou asks, pointing it out.

It takes a moment for the question to visibly register through Midoriya's brain. But, when it does, Bakugou can tell by the way Midoriya’s eyes widen and the wide grin on his face that grows, “You've read it?”

“Nah, just heard about it. A lot.” He doesn’t need to explain himself further.

Leaving his seat off the bench, Midoriya rushes up to Bakugou’s face, eagerly leaning in. “I highly recommend it! It’s a literature masterpiece, the best of its genre!”

For a moment, Midoriya looks up to Bakugou’s gaze, eyes bright in interest. However, the next second, he looks away, with a feeble laugh as he scratches the side of his head nervously. “In my humble, personal opinion, of course..”

“What does it even mean?” Bakugou asks instead, holding tight to their conversation. He refuses to let it go for even a second. “Catch-22.”

“Oh. Uhh, the best way I can describe it,” Midoriya lifts his chin in thought. His gaze drifts up, as if he was wracking through his brain like it were a couple of shelves, “is that it's a dilemma from which someone cannot escape from, because of a set of contradictory rules.”

Bakugou scoffs. “Give an example. I’m too fucking tired to decipher whatever the fuck you just said.”

“Okay, okay!" Midoriya laughs, "It’s like job applications. How can you gain any experience for a job, unless you get a job that gives you experience?”

“Like, how in order to apply for a loan, you have to prove to the bank that you don’t need one?”

“Yes! Exactly that.”

“That shit has a name?”

“They’re hard to find, but even in everyday life, we can find ourselves in our own catch-22’s without realizing it! Isn’t that crazy? For all we know, life itself could be one!” Midoriya rambles, growing louder and louder, to the point Bakugou swears he can hear his voice echo.

Though, Bakugou doesn’t mind. This alone is possibly the most Midoriya has said to him, with all encounters combined.

Surprisingly, a blush forms over Midoriya’s cheeks. “I didn’t mean to babble on like that.”

“How do you get someone to remember you,” Bakugou starts, before he can stop himself from asking, “when they keep forgetting who you are every time?”

Midoriya stares.

Quickly, Bakugou coughs, “Ain't that a catch-22?”

For a small moment, all he can hear is the rain, pattering down the pavement around them. But, then, Midoriya hums, tilting his head, lips pursed. “Yeah, it most definitely is. Though, I've never heard of that one, before.”

"Yeah well," Bakugou shoves his sweating hands into the pockets of his hoodie. “That’s the fucking dumpster fire I’m in.”

“With all respect, does your person have medical reasons why they keep forgetting?” Midoriya asks slowly, immediate concern filling his expression.

“Not that I know of." Bakugou admits, "But, I wouldn’t put it past them. Or, they might be plain stupid.”

“That's rude!" However, the accusation sounds fairly weak, when Midoriya's chuckling.

He feels the corners of his lips upturning. "What's 'rude' is the damn bastard not remembering anything, other than random, trivial shit." Bakugou huffs. "Which changes, daily."

"And, you say nothing works? Not even telling them?"

"Yeah. 'Cause they'll fucking forget the next day."

"Have they ever wrote about you?”

Bakugou does a double take. When did Midoriya ever— “Wrote about me?”

Nodding, Midoriya gestures behind him, to the backpack beside the bench. “Personally, I've been using lots of sticky notes, planners, and journals to jot down things I need to remember.”

“Again, my memory's a bit distorted, so in order to tell my future self what I need to know, I write it out for me to read, the next day. Maybe that’ll work for your person?”

Writing. So that the next Midoriya can read it and remember. “..Would it work, if I wrote it?"

Midoriya furrows his brows. "I think it would be better if the person wrote it out for themselves. You know, so that it helps to jog their memory."

Suppressing the immediate heart drop he feels in the pit of his stomach, Bakugou exhales a big sigh. "There's a lot of shit the fucker needs to remember. His purpose. His quirk. His dream. Lots of important shit."

"Why not start with you?" Midoriya smiles, reassuringly. "They're bound to have a diary entry all about you."

Immediately, Bakugou's irked. "I ain't writing material."

"I think you are. Good writing material." Midoriya confesses, never letting that dopey, wobbly smile drop, "I don't know your name, but everything about you is unforgettable, to say the least. I bet even someone like me will recognize you next time."

But, you don't. Bakugou thinks, feeling the tug at his heart tighten, choking him from the inside. You never do.

From the pocket of his gym shorts, Bakugou starts feeling his phone vibrate, before it rings. Despite that, Midoriya's jump causes him to be just as startled.

Rubbing a hand to his neck, Midoriya weakly chuckles, "Sad. We were just starting to get to know each other."

Bakugou doesn't respond.

'ALL MIGHT.' The caller ID states in bold letters.

"I gotta go." Bakugou states firmly, holding tightly around his phone. "I need to take this call."

Midoriya's smile fades, but quickly it's picked up. "Yeah, no worries. I've probably been keeping you outside for too long."

Bakugou curtly nods, "You have."

And yet, even when the ringing persists, loudly telling him to walk away, leave, he stays. Because, Midoriya just looks like he doesn't want him to go.

He doesn't want to go, either.

"I never got your name." Midoriya mentions quietly.

Why would I give it, if you won't even remember?

Yet, that freckled, doey eyed face Midoriya's got never brings out the rationale, spiteful side of him out. Because, no matter how many times he has to say it, he'll do it again, and again. In a heartbeat.

"Just call me Kacchan."

Visibly, Midoriya's taken aback. Though, with the phone call on its last few rings, he finally steps off to the side, giving Bakugou space to walk.

"I'll see you around then," Midoriya waves off to him, "Kacchan."

A personal hell. Bakugou's living his personal hell.

When he walks inside the dorm building, the emotions suddenly hit him hard. Every day, he has to keep putting up with this crap.

Midoriya greeting him, talking to him, and saying goodbye, like a damn fucking stranger.

It kills him, eating away at his brain, knowing Midoriya's unable to look at him, and see nothing, but a stranger staring back.

When looking at Midoriya meant the world to him.

With a swift thumb swipe, Bakugou slides the phone call open. He clears his throat. "What now old man."

"I think we need to talk." All Might's voice crackles. "Privately. The sooner, the better. It's about the quirk that's been affecting young Midoriya."

His entire body tenses, halting him still. "..What about it.."

All Might sighs, long and tired. "The authorities found some intel about the culprit behind the memory loss. And, well.."

"Well, what?" Bakugou snaps.

"Midoriya's in deeper trouble, than we thought."

[kingreywrites]

Are you working on something for new dream appreciation week? Is it angsty? XD

asfhsjdj trade secrets my dear, though I'll admit that I'm mostly in the planning phase right now, and yes there will be angst 👀

[4dtk]

heloo! can I request hand-holding (3), kisses (6, 12) hugs (32) and touching (12) with renjun, thank uu^^

why do my renjun drabbles always end up so long LOL . btw age old kiss under the mistletoe <3 never too early for x’ams imagines i guess LOL, enjoy!!!

hand-holding, 3: cold hands in warm hands

hugs, 32: long-lasting hugs

kisses, 6 & 12: slow kisses, kisses on the corner of their mouth

touching, 12: pushing a strand of hair behind their ear

renjun’s eyes couldn’t leave yours. well, more of your body as you talked with mark, gesturing grandly about his new single that he dropped. he remembers you playing it whenever you met up, rapping the lyrics back to him that only had renjun groaning in embarrassment. staring around the room, he scans over the members in the party with a smile. having had taken a rest from the all the alcohol earlier, he was glad to be left alone to his… indulgences where no one could interrupt him.

“hey.”

“gah! wh- what the hell?” haechan shocks him out of his stupor, easily avoiding a smack on the back from renjun. his laughter gains attention from others, but otherwise they just return a cheeky laugh back while conversing. soon, the other is able to pick up on his loneliness, partially blaming it on the crazy challenge he dared renjun to do earlier. the partial reason, however..

“are you ever going to confess to (y/n)?” haechan raises a brow.

“keep it down! christ, hyuck. just because some members here have their partners on their arms doesn’t mean i should rush to make (y/n) mine.”

“oh, but you’re so obvious that it’s tiring to watch,” haechan sighs, taking a swig of his drink. the both of them admire the theme of the party for a little bit, red and green decorations hung from the spacious dorm, held on the fifth floor because they were the ‘cleanest’ (against jungwoo’s wishes and with kun’s agreement, they settled for an early celebration on the 23rd).

the speakers blasted christmas music, no doubt from the talented mr. bublé who was a compulsory artist to listen to, along with other renditions of christmas songs that just felt good. fairy lights from the members’ rooms were brought to be set up. plus, with ten’s recent sunset light purchase that he bought for the felines, the room was soon bathed in joyous lighting that could rival decorations outside.

“dude. the members had to have their partners fly in because they’re both so busy. (y/n)’s already there, c’mon the opportunity is right there — and this is the one time you’re able to unwind and relax. just go for it, man,” haechan is relaxed and laid-back, haven’t yet experienced the palpitations whenever one looks at their crush. the only exception was probably a rookie idol back then, but that was old news.

“if you happen to want to cuddle or fuck later, we’ll leave you alone.” this time, renjun was able to land a punch to his shoulder, expression turned into a scowl.

“you’re right, i guess. i’ll see what i can do.”

a gasp, “renjun admitting i’m right? rare.” renjun gives the other a lighter smack with a smile, chugging down the last bit of his water before heading over to you. he feels like he’s walking through snow whenever he wants to get to you, the resistance strong with each step. curling and uncurling his fingers, he loosened his freezing hands as you wrap up the conversation with mark.

“renjun! have a good rest? donghyuck was trying to avoid you for the past fifteen minutes, because he knew you’d get another headache if he talked to you.”

“i’m having one right now,” renjun jokes, emphasising his point by rubbing some fingers on his temple.

your laugh is like first snow. or like the heater that’s currently fuelling the house with heat. he isn’t sure what to choose, but he knows he likes it and wants to make you laugh more.

“do you need to rest again? i’ll promise i’ll be quiet-“

“delivery?” someone calls out. with a shout, you’re already at the door, receiving another batch of booze since the grocery shopping you went on earlier severely underestimated how much these boys can drink. “oh- uh-“ renjun swoops in like prince charming, hand brushing over yours while he steps forward to help you. they tingle like electricity, deciding against pulling away which would leave you to struggle.

“miss (l/n) (y/n) and mr huang renjun. please freeze in your place,” haechan’s annoying voice penetrates throughout all the conversation happening and you swear the man beside you mutters a curse as you two try to haul the booze past the member. “place the beer down. you aren’t going anywhere, anyway.”

before any of you can ask for an explanation, he points above you which displayed a mistletoe. “surprise!”

the delivery man’s voice scares you, until you realise it’s johnny, hidden under a very smart disguise of a fake moustache and a replica of the uniform. your mouth hangs open even when johnny squeezes past you with the booze effortlessly hanging from one arm, sighing inaudibly at the absence of the heavy drinks.

“so?” the members are looking at you expectedly like they’re watching a movie. there’s endless thoughts swirling in your mind even when renjun grabs your hand with his timid one, but it calms you down just a little when he brushes a thumb over your skin. it’s like you’re waiting for the director to yell out ‘cut!’; even you thought you’d do better on a movie set.

“(y/n)-“

he’s cut off by your lips crashing onto his, garnering a few ooohs and ahhs, including the satisfied smiles and sighs of relief. renjun’s lips taste like a mixture of the candy cane drink he spat out earlier, and some whiskey with coke. it’s a confusing taste, but with the pace your lips are moving with each other, it allows you to draw out every other time you imagined kissing huang renjun.

it doesn’t even come close, if you’re being honest and even if you’re standing in front of countless other men he calls his members in a ridiculously sized k-pop group. renjun deepens the kiss when he turns his head, cold, but clammy hands coming up the cup your cheeks. they shock you for just a bit and there’s a shameless smile into the kiss as renjun continues to deliver pecks onto your own.

he chuckle and it sounds like well-written christmas movies, or the very first listen to michael bublé’s christmas album. you aren’t sure what to choose, but you know you like it and want to make him chuckle more.

in a blink of an eye, you’ve grabbed his hand, heading straight for one of the rooms that you often see when renjun’s gaming with haechan. you recognise it straight away from the set-up and in a rush to shut the door, you stumble just a bit before meeting the hard wood of the door in a roar of laughter.

“great, now they’ve locked two people out,” haechan nudges johnny.

“three!” johnny’s partner calls from the doorway, which makes the living room shake in another round of cheers, getting back into the natural flow of things before everything got interrupted by a plant. faintly, you hear them ask if the plan worked, and haechan’s prideful answer right after.

slowly, you peek out of your hiding spot being your hands. renjun’s eyes shine, “so you like me.” it comes out flatter than he expected and he winces.

you snort, taking a step closer to him on the door, half leaning on it. without any prompting, the other’s arms encircle your waist, now pulling you flush against him while your head rest on his front. the next moments are spent in comfortable silence, the rowdy party going on outside giving you a little of a main character moment. your breathing syncs up, chest expanding and contracting with the deep breaths you take. there’s always a puff of mist leaving your lips, but it appears less now that you’re in your crush’s arms.

“yeah. i like you,” you nod, coming to face him after the tight embrace. his fingers touch your cheek experimentally and you flinch, the pads freezing cold to the touch. maybe it’s because he didn’t touch whiskey for the past half ’n hour. gently, you take his hands in yours. “why’re you always freezing?”

“ugh. you figured me out. tactic to get you to hold my hands.” throwing your head back in a silent laugh, you shake your head in disbelief.

“at least you haven’t caught on to me, holding your hands down so you won’t have to-” a kiss to one corner of his mouth. “restrict me from-” another to the other. “doing this.” lastly to his lips.

renjun entertains your dramatic flair with his jaw hung open. it doesn’t last long, though. “why would i restrict you from doing that?” you shrug, letting go of his hands now that they gained sufficient warmth. renjun silently decides it’s not enough, but first, he wants to kiss you again. his fingers are less freakishly cold now, brushing against your skin to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. it sits there obediently, dissimilar with the way you did it. ‘it always falls out!’ you want to tell him later, but first, you want to kiss him again.

“huang renjun, you drive me crazy.” grinning, renjun knows it’s your way of confessing before his lips collide with yours with the fervour that hallmark movies lacked, and ironically, a plot which hallmark movies embodied. and just like that, you wish you could hold a pause icon over your head, because you wanted this to last for as long as it could.

[roguelioness]

fic author self rec

Tagged by the wonderful @serenpedac - ahh, thank you so much! ♥

When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you’ve written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love.

I hesitated over this, as I’m not used to talking about my own work. It feels quite prideful (is that a word?). And if I’m being honest, I’m not sure how to choose - I spend so much time and effort on my stories it feels wrong to have to pick from them :D

1. Vir’vhen’an (Dragon Age, Solas/Neria) - This one was a struggle to write, and I nearly quit several times. It’s my attempt at working through the heartbreak of solavellan, to find a way for Neria and Solas to reunite, and to give them the happy ending that they deserve. 

2. For Goodness Bakes (Dragon Age, Solas/Thalia) - Entirely self-indulgent, I had a lot of fun writing this bakery AU (and a whole lot of cravings, lol). It all started out as an excuse to picture Solas with rolled up sleeves. I regret nothing.

3. The Inquisition Job (Dragon Age, Cullen/Elise) - This started out as a challenge to myself to write anyone but Solas, and out came this modern spy AU. I re-read this a while ago and I found myself pleasantly surprised.

4. Under her skin (The Wayhaven Chronicles, Nikita/Adam) - I nearly decided against putting this on the list, as it’s still ongoing and I often find myself worried over what readers will think about it - but if I’m honest I personally like it. It’s a challenge to write a villain, but also fun.

5. We’re drifting down (to the other side) (Dragon Age, Zevran/Ilearys) - What started as a prompt grew into this melancholic bit of writing. I like to think of it as beautiful and hopeless.

Honorary mention, because I am so proud of the puns: Bear with me. It’s fun and lighthearted, and did I mention the puns?

Tagging: @ma-sulevin, @wickedwitchofthewilds, @thevikingwoman, @noire-pandora, @cleverblackcat, @darethshirl, @redinkofshame, @bearlytolerant, @rakshadow, @kagetsukai, @shannaraisles, @for-the-ninth, @rosella-writes and anyone else interested (please tag me if you do! I’d love to read :D)

[carnationcreation]

hi i just came across your account and i love your PR oneshots ✨🥺 if it was alright could i get an image of tommy oliver forgetting the reader’s anniversary bc of a battle with a new monster? ahh i feel like i’m bothering you BUT ONLY IF YOU WANT <3 I LOVE YOU HAVE A NICE DAY

TITLE: Moonlight (Tommy Oliver x reader)

✌🏻Masterlist Taglist, Requests, and Works in progress!

Please check bio to see if requests are open before sending any in!

Prompt/summary: Tommy misses his anniversary date, does ice cream under the stars count?

Word Count: 737

Authors note: Hi bb I’m so sorry this took so long but I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed seeing your request in my inbox!

Also Tommy Oliver and hurt/comfort? Say less.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He’s never late. 

Well, on a usual day.

But today was anything but usual. In fact, the past few days have been very strange for me and my boyfriend. Tommy normally walked me to class, the sweet gesture was not found today as I struggled into my first period class carrying the weight of my heavy gym bag. He normally sat beside me at lunch normally with his friends nearby to chat about the day. By the time lunch came around I sat alone eating my simple sandwich and staring at the clock. 

Six thirty rolled around, and my hopes for our date night dwindled with every passing minute. I paced nervously around the room. How could he forget this? 

How could he forget the date that he planned?

Eventually, I gave up, trudging into the bathroom to wash off the carefully done makeup and change into pajamas. I didn’t realize the tears streaming down my face until my cheek was pressed into the pillow. I let the damp spot grow until all the tears I could shed were gone. Then I let myself dwell in the feeling of gloomyness while turning on the television in my room to some random late night show.

Tap.

I looked towards my window in confusion, when nothing else happened I turned back to the TV and pulled my blankets higher.

Tap-tap.

I saw the flash out of the corner of my eye and got up slowly to approach the window.

Tommy Oliver stood on the ground just a few feet from the bushes near the downstairs window. He was covered in dirt. The helpless look on his face made me open the window, albeit cautiously. 

“Hey,” he called out softly.

“What do you want?”

He sighed, “Listen, I know you think I’m the worst boyfriend in the world. I promise I didn’t forget our date, really I didn’t, something just came up that I couldn’t avoid. Can you please just come down here so we can talk?”

I sighed, leaning my head on my hand against the windowsill.

He pulled a bag out from behind his back, “I brought ice cream.”

I chuckled lightly and closed the window before quietly shuffling downstairs and out to the backyard.

Tommy smiled at me nervously, holding the pint of Ben and Jerry’s out to me like a peace offering.

“Got spoons?”

He riffled through the bag before pulling out two plastic spoons.

“Better late than never?” he said.

I sat down on the grass, patting the ground next to me for him to follow suit before digging into the ice cream. Moonlight lit his face as I stared, what I was looking for I’m not sure. Regret? Sadness? Again, I’m not sure.

“Where did you go? I didn’t see you all day, or for most of this week actually.”

He sighed, looking up at the stars with a look of contemplation. 

“Tommy?”

He sighed, “Yeah, I’m just- trying to find a way to phrase this without you thinking I’m crazy.”

“Why would I think you’re crazy?”

“I just don’t know if you’ll believe me.”

I looked at him confused.

He put the ice cream down and turned to face me, “What I’m about to tell you is something you can’t tell another soul. I promise, I was just trying to protect you but I’m realizing now I can’t protect you if you don’t know the truth.”

“Did- did you murder someone or?”

“What? No,” he said, letting out a soft chuckle.

“Then what?” I asked.

“I’m the white Power Ranger.”

The look of shock and confusion on my face must’ve made him nervous, “Look I know you don’t believe me but I promise one day I can show you everything and you can meet the rest of the team-”

“Tommy,” I said softly.

He looked at me with worry.

“You missed our date because you were protecting the city?”

He shuffled nervously, “Yeah, more or less.”

I laughed, “That’s a pretty good reason to miss a date I guess.”

“You’re not mad?”

“How could I be?” I said, “Thank you for being honest. And for the ice cream.”

He smiled, pulling me closer to kiss my forehead, “No problem.”

“Next time, just send me a pager before you run off to fight monsters.”

“Deal.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*If you signed up for my taglist but don’t see your name please message me!

Taglist: @thebookwormlife @talksoprettyjjx @coolreallyfuzzystudentuniverse @lovesanimals @aunicornmademedoit @thexhotmess @ssprayberrythings @registerednursejackie @homealone200 @hemmingsness @bookfrog242 @itz-jas @smol-book-nerd @thewifeofhades @igotissuesmister r @carnations-red @disgustedchild

[voltaage]

HONEST ATTRACTION PROMPT

@v1r4l​​ asked:  😏😏😏 omg

How physically attracted they are to your muse

“Crypto is very cute; I would give him an eight. A nine when he smiles.” The mysterious, broody, bad boy, aesthetic Crypto has really works for Natalie. Maybe it’s due to the rather sheltered life she lived in the Canyon, being a goodie goodie, that excites and thrills her. Or maybe it’s due to her unconscious ‘I can fix him’ mindset. Either way, her fellow Legend’s current appearance is definitely something Natalie has found incredibly attractive. 

How romantically attracted they are to your muse

“To the point of it being obnoxious! Hehe! Under all that bravado is very sweet, kind, and sensitive, soul.” Romance always reigned supreme for Natalie. Sure, she experienced sexual attraction, but those feelings were always fleeting unless there was something of substance there. Trust, vulnerability, and respect were necessary, and she felt all those needs were met with Crypto. He shared his secrets with her, despite of her own ties. He let himself genuinely feel around her, rather than continuing to try and mask his emotions and thoughts. He treated her like an equal too; valued her as a fellow competitor and genius. She was head over heels for him. 

How often they would like to have sex with yours.

“Oh, I mean... Um. Often enough...?” Physical touch was a rather important love language for Natalie, especially with partners who potentially struggled to voice their affections. If she could not be 100% certain of their adoration, then kisses and closer, intimate, moments would surely settle any self doubt that tempted to rise inside of her. Crypto was also incredibly attractive to Natalie, so that certainly helped up the urges.

Where they would most likely have sex with yours

“Probably at my home? Or his apartment? Maybe... Maybe in our rooms in the dropship..? I-- I can’t say anymore-- it’s too embarrassing.” Most of the time, these kinds of things took place in the bedroom, so that was where Natalie expected it to happen. But she wasn’t opposed to different ideas-- maybe even intrigued and excited by them-- but she was a good girl and having those kinds of thoughts? She couldn’t. 

Whether they think yours would be  “good”  in bed

“Would it be bad if I said I hope he’s not? I don’t have much experience and would rather learn together, so to speak. If he’s really good then there’s a sort of pressure, isn't there? Ahh, now I’m overthinking.”

What titles / nicknames my muse would like to call yours during sex

“Mon coeur, mon amour, mon beau, honey, snookems. Anything that will make him smile or blush.” It ranges from sweet and romantic to silly and playful. Sex didn’t have to be completely serious and intense after all; it could be fun and mischievous. He wasn’t just her partner, but most of all her best friend.

Up to 3 kinks they would like to explore with yours  ( with consent of course )

“Maybe lingerie or costumes? Something fun to play with or look pretty for-- photos. Actually, um, how about we just skip this one--” Some light BDSM play that would allow Natalie to take charge and lead would be very fun for her. She’d like to see the organized and stoic man melting into a mess as a result of her touches or commands. Any kind of electrostimulation would also be something Natalie would be incredibly interested in-- though a little embarrassed and hesitant to bring it up. It’s a bit intense, thus leading it to be a kink that was often left as a skeleton in her closet.

What sort of sex they’d prefer to have with yours  ( slow & sensual, quickie, etc. )

“Something slow and sweet. I make love, not-- other stuff.” Natalie certainly wouldn’t be opposed to more quicker, heated sex, but as a default she liked to keep things soft and romantic. 

What type of relationship my muse would like to form with yours. ( typical couple, friends with benefits, etc. )

“I’d like to grow closer. Maybe one day live together. Maybe grow old together. But I’m happy with where we are now.” Natalie was in it for the long haul. She did not love partially; she loved whole heartedly. Flaws and strengths were accepted and cherished. Once he had let her near, it would be incredibly difficult to get rid of her. 

[vinnival]

hehe boie guess who's making surprise appreciation fics for my lovely friends!

this one is for @trickjeb :D

prompt from here ! (altered to fit Glen)

"The new guys you've recently befriended has invited you to their house for a home-cooked Italian meal (somehow, that can be made in this hellscape). You put on your best outfit and head over in anticipation of some cannoli and Just Dance. The clown invites you in and offers you a drink, and then his friend walks out of the kitchen with a tray of antipasti and a scowl."

~

"Ahh, Nevada."

Glen snickered to zapself at the sudden comment they said. Something new happens nearly every week, and just the past few days, they've made friends with the most unexpected people to make friends with- a (kind of) holy figure and a reality breaking clown.

Yes, with their whole self, they've managed to win the friendship of those two. It was a shock, really, since they seem like the type to just mindlessly kill whoever gets in their way, but no; when Glen appeared in front of them they were both strangely kind... even though one of them was considerably loud. Wasn't that bad, honest.

"Well, shit happens..."

Yes, shit happens, especially while doing yet another round of Just Dance- it suddenly smacked Glen in the face that zap promised to pay a visit to the two at their place today!

Eyes widening in realization, Glen took off for the closet, searching around for good enough clothes.

"I wonder if Jeb and Tricky have a Wii..." Glen mindlessly wondered while searching for matching socks- finally completing the outfit.

Zap spun around in the mirror, "Should be good..."

They also just decided to take their Wii with them- hopefully they're down for some dancing!

Exiting their home, they made their way down the road to the sort-of nearby AAHW buildings.

Sneaking their way around the AAHW patrol guards, Glen neared the house that Jeb reluctantly described to them.

"Just be wary, kid. Who knows what they'll do to you if they find out you're hanging with us." Is what he said after telling his house location. Zap was aware of this risk, but zap hasn't had proper friends in so long, zap would do just about anything for them already.

Glen bounced up to a hidden window, softly tapping on it. A familiar green and red came into view, and immediately began opening the window. The clown struggled a bit due to his shaking, but he soon got it open and closed it again after Glen got in.

"HERE FOR FOOD?" Tricky excitedly yelled, pulling Glen into a sudden hug.

Glen laughed, confirming the question. They were then led to the main living room where, yes, they had a TV!

Their eyes lit up as they placed their bag in front of it, clapping excitedly, "Can I connect my Wii to your TV?"

"WHAT IS WII? WANT WATER?"

Zap gasped in shock. He didn't know what a Wii was?! SCANDALOUS!

"Yes- but, how could you NOT know what a Wii is?!"

Taking the opportunity to set it up, zap did it in record time, loading up Just Dance just as Jeb was entering the room carrying a pan of very good-smelling food. Alas, he held a scowl on his face.

"Keep It silent, Glen. The guards here have good hearing."

"Aww, but the music is half the fun!"

"Keep it low, then," he set the pan down, nodding to his two very excited friends.

"CURIOUS!!! CLOWN LOVE MUSIC!!"

Glen laughed again, putting up the wiimotes for the moment, so they could eat.

Luckily, dinner was a wonderful time. Glen felt very safe- despite on the verge of danger constantly- and happy. They had a feeling zap would have a wonderful friendship with these two.

And, as it turns out, Jeb is a LOT better at rhythm games than he seemed...

[sometimesiwrite]

The Way It Is

Prompt: Fake Dating

Pairing: Lambert & Essi Other Characters: Julian (Jaskier), Eskel/Geralt

Rating: Teen Content Warnings: No Archive Warnings; platonic/queerplatonic dynamics; pressure to engage sexually; coarse language; alcohol/intoxication; modern AU.

Summary: When Essi and Lambert are setup on a blind date, they don’t expect to get along as well as they do. However, when they decide to keep their relationship platonic and non-romantic, they realize they might face some uncomfortable pressure. For the sake of simplicity, they decide to tell people they’re dating, but is it sustainable? 

@witcher-rarepair-summer-bingo​

Essi fidgeted with the bent corner of her cafe menu, looking around at the various styles of local artworks hanging on the walls. She was early by about ten minutes, but that didn’t stop her from checking the pearlescent dial of her watch every thirty seconds. Finally, the bell above the door tinkled and a man walked in. Essi could tell from the way he was looking around that he was there to meet someone—her. The only other people sitting alone in the cafe were working on laptops and tablets; no one else waiting for a date. And this man was most certainly looking for one. 

He was handsome in a ruffled sort of way, though he’d clearly put in a bit of effort. His black casual dress shirt and slim light-wash jeans fit his lean frame impeccably, and a subtle quantity of mousse was clearly doing its best to tame his short, scruffy brown hair. Even his bristly beard appeared to have been trimmed recently. Though there was nothing particularly remarkable about his clothing, there was something striking about the way he carried himself, a devil-may-care sort of presence that Essi appreciated. For a blind date, she thought, it certainly could be worse. Allegedly, they knew each other, at least based on his abruptly out-of-the-blue text, and the closer she looked, the more her memory of him crystalized. 

A loud ping! emitted from Essi’s phone and the man looked up from his own cellular device, clearly having just texted. 

“Uh, Essi? Essi Daven, right?” He took a step towards her and leaned in, pointing to his phone screen. 

“Yes,” Essi stood to shake his hand, “hi.”

“Nice to see you again. Lambert.”

They sat down awkwardly, both struggling to find the will for smalltalk. 

“So…” Lambert had become keenly interested in a black-and-white digital photograph behind Essi’s shoulder.

“Listen,” Essi could feel the words start to tumble out of her mouth, and it was too late to do anything about it. Lambert raised an eyebrow,  “I don’t really know how to say this, so I’m just going to be honest and probably regret it later: I don’t really do this. Dating. I find it strange and uncomfortable and if I’m perfectly honest I think I’d rather die.” She didn’t cringe apologetically, which would have been the expected behaviour to accompany an outpouring of disinterest. Instead she stared at him, wide-eyed, lips slightly pursed as a muscle in her neck twitched, waiting for his response.

Lambert laughed. Genuinely laughed—a joyful release of tension and dread, “Oh, thank Fuck!” Essi blinked in pleasant surprise and watched as Lambert began to relax.

“Excuse me?” Her startlingly blue eyes widened in amusement. 

“No, no, I just mean—I would absolutely and one-hundred percent, without a doubt, rather die in a hole than date,” Lambert slotted the edge of the menu under his fingernails and let his eyes wander a little more freely around the cafe. 

“So then… why?” 

Hm. Direct, frank, amusing lack of filter… the memories were starting to come back from what limited, heavily inebriated, time they’d spent together.

There was something about the straightforwardness of this endearingly odd woman that made Lambert feel infinitely more comfortable. Usually, any kind of interaction with the potential of building mutual interest made him feel like he was playing a game he didn’t know the rules to. The signals, the code words that never meant what they said: having sex on the first date means you’re a slut; not having sex on the third date means you’re a prude; grabbing coffee means this; having dinner means that; if they your arm but don’t invite you up, it means that they’re actually a KGB operative and need to give you the launch codes for a super secret missile...

Fuck that, we have words for a reason. Say what you mean and don’t waste my time. For that reason alone, Essi was already scoring quite well in Lambert’s books. 

He shrugged, “You somehow remembered me from the KM Christmas party almost six months ago, and still asked for my number. I figure that at least deserves a coffee and a conversation.”

Essi was bewildered, “I didn’t ask for your number, you texted me.”

Lambert shook his head, “Impossible. No offense, but I absolutely guarantee you I did not.” He produced their short text exchange and scrolled to the top of their conversation: 

Hi, is this Lambert? From the KM Christmas party? 

You might not remember me, we got talking about 

the political situation in Kashmir after about…

Too many drinks. Eeep! 

Anyway, I’d love to get a coffee sometime, if 

you’re interested. 

Sorry, this is Essi Daven. 

You called me Goldilocks at one point and 

seemed amused XD 

Hope you’re well! 

Essi snatched Lambert’s phone, shocked and slightly outraged as she reached for her own device, opening her thread with Lambert. The text at the top was not from her, but from the man across from her: 

Yeah, hi, this is 

Lambert-from-the-KM-Christmas-party. 

As it happens, I remember you and our 

conversation quite well. Not many folks 

happily get into drunken political discussions

You know what, I wouldn’t mind grabbing a 

coffee. 

Let me know if you’re free in the next couple 

weeks! 

Lambert gestured emphatically at Essi’s phone screen, “In what world is this an acceptable way to ask someone out?! I wouldn’t have said yes to that!”

“I don’t know,” Essi fired back, “It was straightforward! I found it charming, okay? Is that a crime?”

“No, but I have some serious concerns about your taste in men.”

“Like you’re in such a fine position to judge after the hollow, paltry invitation you accepted—which I absolutely did not write, by the way. I want to make that perfectly clear.”

“Alright, alright, cool your jets, we’ve got bigger fish to fry.” Lambert narrowed his eyes as he passed Essi’s phone back to her, “You didn't fire the first shot, so who texted me from your phone and cleared the history?”

Essi nibbled the inside of her cheek, “I can think of a few.”

“Okay, next question,” Lambert pocketed his phone, “who added you to my contacts before you texted. Because we did not exchange numbers six months ago, but your name was already there when I received it.”

Essi shrugged, “Who has access to your phone?”

“I dunno. Really just Eskel and Geralt and neither of them would—”

“Geralt.”

“Why him?”

Essi’s bright blue eyes turned steely and murderous, “Julian… They’re working together.”

“Wait, wait, wait. Are you telling me that Geralt the-last-thing-I-need Rivia and Julian Alfred these-aren't-my-pants Pankratz think we're so helplessly undateable that they decided to secretly set us up?” 

“Eskel doesn’t know me that well; he wouldn’t try to set you up with someone he hadn’t vetted. Who did you talk to first when you got that text from me?”

Lambert’s eyes widened, “Holy shit, they’re working together.”

Essi nodded, a flood of embarrassment warming her cheeks. “Sorry to waste your time. You’re very nice but, um, I should just…” she got up to leave.

“Wh-hey, hold up. I mean, if you wanna go, go, that's fine, but there's something you might want to know first.”

Essi tossed her yellow bangs out of her eyes, “Oh? What's that?”

“This,” Lambert produced an Amex credit card from his breast pocket, “is Geralt's.” The cheeky glint in his eyes was a very convincing argument.

“Fine then. Coffee and a conversation.” 

The coffee was hot and decent, and the conversation meandered through the usual topics of music, movies, and television, but also dipped into deeper waters as they grew more comfortable with each other’s company. Of course, it didn’t hurt that neither of them had any stakes in the outcome of this “date”. It made it easier to be frank and open, which in turn led to them quickly enjoying their time together. So much so that coffee turned into lunch, which turned into a long walk in the pleasant weather, which finally landed them outside Essi’s apartment, just around dinner time. 

“I have to say, this was actually a pleasant encounter,” she said, turning to face him with a characteristic toss of her bangs. 

“Yeah, who’d’ve thought two people forced together by meddling friends would actually find it enjoyable?” 

“In light of that,” Essi squared her shoulders and found Lambert’s hazel-brown eyes, “I think it’s fair to say I want to see you again.”

He cringed regretfully and scratched the back of his head, “Ahh, yeah, so… I don’t know if that’s really--”

“Oh, relax,” Essi smirked with a casual touch to Lambert’s forearm. “I don't mean like that. I just mean--you're interesting and fun and, well I don't have many close friends and I feel like we connected well today.”

“Well…”

“I'll make it even simpler: I absolutely, one-hundred percent, am not interested in dating you.”

“Easy there, you know I love it when people get all straightforward with me.” 

“I mean it, I just want to be friends,” she toyed back, trying her best to look sultry. It kind of worked.

Lambert bit his lower lip in mock arousal, “Mmm, oh yeah...”

She swayed her shoulders forward and back, doing her best to emulate the seductive actresses and models of the 1950s, “I want to Netflix and chill with a documentary about Soviet propaganda.”

Her last comment prompted a playfully stern look from her companion, “Careful now, you’re wading into actual turn-on territory.” 

“You're such a weirdo,” Essi chuckled, giving him an endeared shove. “Seriously, though, would you like to do this again? Friends?” 

He nodded sincerely, “Yeah, I think I'd really like that. Just one problem, though.”

“If we claim not to be interested in each other but keep hanging out we’ll never hear the end of it?” 

“Bingo.” 

Essi hummed thoughtfully and nibbled the inside of her bottom lip, “Well… we could always… pretend?” 

***

“Sounds like you two are hitting it off. I’m glad. I know Essi’s been feeling a little isolated between work and being new to the city.” Geralt closed the fridge with his foot and headed towards the sofa, popcorn in one hand, three beers in the other. “I’ll take my card back, by the way.” 

Lambert reluctantly handed the Amex back in exchange for a beer and perched on the arm of the sofa. “She’s really something. We’re, uh—yeah, hitting it off is a good word.”

And hitting it off, they were. The last ten days since their first “date” had been more enjoyable than all the dates he’d had in the last year combined. Essi was a fantastic companion: sharp, witty, kind, took no bullshit… They had done absolutely nothing but hang out, and no one had pried them for many details about the nature of their relationship. As far as their friend group was concerned, they were simply dating in the way that most adults dated. This also meant more time to themselves without unwanted interruptions (namely Julian barging in with his spare key to gossip about whatever fires were currently alight on twitter). The first night Lambert had been over, it took Julian all of five minutes to “grab something from the fridge” before parting with a knowing wink. 

To her credit and imagination, Essi had expertly fielded her cousin’s initial barrage of questions when she first announced their “involvement.” It wasn’t that she didn’t like her cousin, Essi adored Julian, but she was also the first to admit that the man had no boundaries. What he lacked in that arena, he certainly made up for with opinions, which he was always more than happy to bestow on his younger cousin—usually dating advice, almost always unsolicited. Lambert had a much easier time convincing his side that he and Essi were taking it easy to see where things went. Between Eskel being a consummate gentleman and Geralt having his own Delicate Sensibilities, neither of them had demanded any details. 

“As long as you’re both happy and everything’s healthy, that’s all that matters,” Geralt’s partner reiterated, reaching into the bowl on Geralt’s lap. 

“Jesus, Eskel, you sound like my Nonna.”

“That's no way to talk to your father,” Geralt smirked into his hand of popcorn

“You're no better,” Lambert took a swig from his beer, lips popping as he lowered the bottle. “I swear, you've turned into a couple of mother hens since you two got together. Quit fussing and watch the game.” 

Geralt put his arm around Eskel’s shoulders, “We have gotten a little soft haven’t we?”

Eskel huffed out a laugh, “Probably. Hey, Lambert, don't fuck it up or I'll kick your ass into next week.” 

“Thank you. See? Was that so hard?” 

“Eh,” Eskel shrugged, helping himself to another handful of popcorn, “I stand by my original statement. Geralt agrees.” 

“It's true,” he said between mouthfuls. “Essi’s a good woman. Smart, talented, kind, attractive.” 

Eskel cleared his throat.

“Eskel, she is, it's just a statement of fact it doesn't mean that she doesn’t have other…”

“I know it doesn't but I still think you could bear to be a little more…”

“Funny thing,” Lambert interrupted, “I still can’t figure out how this smart, talented, kind, attractive woman’s number programmed itself into my phone. Because I may have been drunk the night we first met, but I have never in my life forgotten a successful number grab. Fess up, fellas. Who was it?”

Eskel’s eyes widened, “Geralt, you didn’t.”  

“I… may have… helped Julian gain access to Lambert’s phone.”

“Unbelievable. The betrayal,” Lambert shook his head, eyes still on the game. “If only there was some way to square things up…”

“You charged everything to my company card, didn’t you?”

“First two dates and a fresh pair of pants. Thanks, bud.” Geralt accepted a pat on the back as Eskel began gently but sternly berating him.

Lambert shook his head, smirking as he took another swig of beer, leaving the two lovebirds to bicker amongst themselves. His hip pocket buzzed and he checked his phone: Essi. 

Next Wednesday? Pizza and a movie?  Still can't believe you haven't seen  Ocean’s Eleven. 

Yeah, okay, fine. Jeez :P 7:30 my place? I'll provide beverages. 

If by ‘beverages’ you mean watery beer…

Fuck off, I'll get the good stuff. Unless  you prefer Arbor Mist or some shit. 

*gasps* I am offended! (but also it's delicious)

*sigh* do you want me to get you some?

*turtles into hoodie* ...peach or cherry pls? 

Haha okay, fine, I'll get a bottle. Can't promise  I won't judge you forever, though ;) 

It's okay, I deserve it.  g2g, see you tomorrow! xox 

***

Lambert groaned contentedly, massaging his stomach as he sprawled back on his aging brown sofa, long legs resting habitually on the coffee table. The now-empty pizza box lay abandoned on the far edge, accompanied by four empty beer bottles, and a nearly-empty, unfavourably warm Peach Arbor Mist. The toilet flushed and Essi emerged. Her dark gold hair had long ago been pulled into a messy bun, but her indigo skinny jeans had been replaced by soft-looking grey leggings. 

Lambert shook his head in amusement as she settled back next to him on the couch, "I still can't believe you brought your own lounge pants"

"That's because I'm a genius," she quipped, crossing her legs and adjusting the height of her waistband. "Besides, when else will I have the opportunity to actually be comfortable during a date?" 

"You took your bra off, too, didn't you?" Lambert asked without missing a beat, eyes never leaving the screen. 

"Yup!" Essi confirmed, her sparkling blue eyes glinting with joy as she raised her glass to her lips.

The movie continued as the new friends settled into comfortable silence, their food-drowsy, alcohol-fuzzy states lulling them into a new level of comfortability around each other. Legs fell asleep, positions were adjusted, and shoulders leaned on as the two sought maximum comfort for minimum effort. Soon, an arm was around Essi's shoulder as she settled her cheek on a comfortable spot on Lambert's chest. 

"You good?" Lambert asked, only half-irritated at her seemingly endless search for the perfect angle. 

"I'm sorry, I thought I'd found a good spot, but..." A few more adjustments of her head and Lambert couldn't take it anymore. 

"Jesus, woman, here. Get up for a sec."

Essi sat up as Lambert rearranged himself into a sort of semi-recline with one foot on the floor so his other leg could make room for the tiny pain-in-the-ass that was taking up the rest of the couch space. At his invitation, she wriggled up to the crook of his arm and quickly settled in. Lambert hadn't really thought about what they were doing. Not when Essi had harmlessly leaned against his arm; not when their weight settled into each other; not when Lambert had put his arm around her; not even as he was rearranging to get to where they were now. It had all just... happened. Now, though, with Essi lying still, Lambert felt the weight and warmth of her body shifting gently against his, and it dawned on him that this had the potential to be, well, weird.

But the strange thing was, it didn't feel weird. He'd fucking cuddled before, but there was always a sense of holding back, a tension in his body, being on the lookout for signals from the other person to move onto the Next Step. But now, he actually felt comfortable. There wasn't anything that was supposed to happen after this. Nobody was asking anything of him, no one sending signals he could pick up on but never read properly, no sinking feelings of dread as the other person moved in for a kiss that always felt too soon. Essi was just there, breathing, content. And Lambert was relaxed.

The woman half-on top of him gave a twitch as the credits started to roll, and Lambert let out a private laugh, "Hey, Sleeping Beauty, show's over." 

Essi inhaled heavily through her nose and lifted herself up, "Hmmm?" 

"Movie's over." 

"Did I fall asleep? I'm sorry!" she sat and rubbed her eyes, taking a sip of water to rinse the stale taste from her mouth. 

"Eh, only a little." Lambert exited Netflix and tossed the remote back on to the table. "Thought you might wanna start heading home before it gets too late." 

Essi nodded in response as she grabbed the pizza box and brought it to the kitchen trash, leaving Lambert to bring the empties. 

"You going to finish this atrocity of a beverage?" Lambert waggled the near-empty wine bottle at Essi as he passed on his way to the sink. She merely scowled and shook her head, letting him pour it down the drain 'where it belonged anyway'.

Essi gathered her things and met Lambert by his front door, checking her pockets for her phone and keys one last time before putting her shoes on. 

"You okay to walk? Want me to come with?" 

It was only 10:30 on a weeknight, and she appreciated the gesture all the same, but it was fine to walk. "Thanks, though. And thank you for tonight. I really needed to get out of the house. I hope, um..." 

She trailed off, not sure how to ask. She didn't have the same physical boundaries that most others seemed to have. She was affectionate—often overly so, and it had led to more than a few misunderstandings in the past. She didn't want Lambert to feel as though she had ulterior motives when the simple fact of the matter was that she hadn't really been thinking. Between the instant relief of not actually being on a date and Lambert's easy manner all evening, she'd forgotten that most friendships didn’t generally involve that much physical contact. Would Lambert be confused now? Thinking they were onto something more than friendship? Had he been wanting more? Had she pushed past a point of no return and doomed their friendship?

She inhaled, "Were you comfortable tonight?" 

For a split second, Lambert flailed, wondering whether he’d made her uncomfortable. Fuck, she'd seemed comfortable, if anything it felt like he’d been following her lead but maybe...

"I—yeah. That was, I enjoyed that. Were... were you not—?" 

Essi smiled and Lambert relaxed again, "No, I was. I wanted to ask in case, that's all. Boundaries and all that. I'll text you when I'm home." 

Lambert opened the door and waved her off toward the elevator, "'Kay. 'Night!" 

The door clicked shut. 

Okay, alright. Fine. Did they cuddle? Yes. Did he enjoy it? Fuck yes. He absolutely didn’t care what anyone might think about how he chose to enjoy his time with other people. However, this didn’t stop him from acknowledging that he was in uncharted friendship territory. More than anything, he was worried about how Essi really felt. Of course, she had no reason not to be honest with him. But the last thing he wanted to do was play fast and loose with someone’s emotions, especially not a friend, and definitely not one as close as Essi. Time would tell. As Lambert’s head hit the pillow, the memory of her warmth and weight settled over him again, and he slept soundly for the first time in months.

***

“Yes Poppet, but have you slept together yet? Honestly, you’ve been dating for almost three weeks now, what could you possibly be waiting for?” 

Oh, I don’t know, hell to freeze over? You to mind your own business? Whichever comes first… 

“I mean, you clearly adore one another, I’ve never seen you happier. What’s there to lose?’”

Essi scoffed. 

Julian placed his hands on her shoulders, “I know it’s been a while for you, but I think you can afford to let yourself go a little, have some fun, hm? Besides, it’s better to find out sooner rather than later if you’re sexually incompatible.”

She took a deep breath, “That’s a very good point, Julian, I’ll think about that.” The dating act was starting to wear a little thin, but it was worth not having to explain to anyone that they weren’t doing exactly what it looked like they were doing. 

Julian took time to give his cousin a scrutinizing look, “Well, by the look of things it won’t be long anyway. If you spend all of your time together as tangled up as you were the other night when I came over, it’ll happen sooner rather than later. Just trust your gut, and when in doubt, a little hint never goes awry.”

Needless to say, Essi more or less ignored her cousin’s advice.

As the weeks stretched on, it became evident that they were quickly becoming what most people would consider to be more than friends. The first time they pulled the covers back and climbed into bed, each on their half of the mattress, they were aware that yet another boundary of friendship had been pushed a little farther into the grey zone. But, they woke up the next morning feeling happy, content, and refreshed, and surely there was nothing wrong with two people sharing a comfortable bed. Essi had woken up with crust in her eyes and her nightgown bunched around her waist. Lambert had woken up with morning wood and his hair a mess. Neither of them cared. People wake up in the morning, big deal. 

Still, it didn’t stop the questioning that oscillated in the background of Lambert’s mind. Was he unknowingly leading Essi on by allowing her so much closeness without a clearly defined relationship? She’d made her own disinterest clear enough on their first “date”,  but feelings change over time. What she’d told him three weeks ago might not be true anymore… 

And then there was that soft warm tingle in the middle of his chest every time she lay her head in his lap, every time he ran his fingers through her hair. He knew he wasn't in love. Not that he was an expert, but what was all that "when you know, you know" bullshit if he couldn’t trust his own feelings? He loved her, sure, but more like a... not a sister, that would be weird. He didn't know what like. Whatever. Fuck it. Eskel had said it best three weeks ago: “As long as you're happy and everything’s healthy, that’s all that matters.” Yeah, sure. We’ll stick with that.

As far as Lambert and Essi were concerned, it was what it was, and whatever it was was working… wasn’t it?

***

"Fuckin' finally!" 

The door to Essi's apartment clicked closed as the tenant wilted against it, emitting an exhausted groan, "Two. Hours. It took me two hours to get home!" She toed off her penny loafers and abandoned her purse and jacket in a pile by the front door, ignoring the hook three inches to her left. She flopped heavily onto her living room carpet. 

"I see you found my spare key," she added, not at all surprised that Lambert had managed to let himself in. 

"Yeah, you should probably put that in a less obvious spot," he answered, crossing to the door to hang her things up. "So, I see it's a lying on the floor kind of evening. Can I interest you in a drink to start? Vodka pairs well with the general vibe of Done-With-This-Shit, or we also have tequila if you feel like shouting out the window after a couple shots. Alternatively, there's gin if you want to cry later." 

Essi smiled with her eyes closed, feeling her body slowly relaxing into the spongy throw rug underneath her, "You know me so well." 

"Vodka?" 

"Vodka. Euch, I need to vacuum!," Essi peeled herself to a seated position as clinks and clatters began in the kitchen. She hopped in the shower to rinse the day off, and after a few minutes, there was a knock on the bathroom door. 

"Yeeees?" she called, playfully. 

"Drink delivery!" Lambert hollered back, "you want this now or later?" 

"Why are you so good to me?" 

There was a draught of cool air as Lambert opened the bathroom door, "Because you only marginally annoy me. Here," he passed his hand between the shower wall and the opaque fish-scale-patterned curtain. "What's on the docket for tonight?" 

Essi groaned, "I don't know, I'm sorry. I used all my brain cells trying not to murder people on the streetcar." 

"Okay," Lambert sat on the lidded toilet, "here's the thing. I kinda maybe figured that might be the case so I kinda maybe picked up a few things to make dinner." 

A shampoo-piled head poked out from behind the curtain, "You're kidding." 

"Nuh-uh." 

"I love you." 

Lambert chuckled, "Yeah, you're alright. Come on, hurry up, this bathroom's a fuckin’ sauna, and I don’t want the croutons to get soggy." Essi burbled an answer about conditioner and almost done, and Lambert took that as his cue to leave.

Dinner was simple: pan fried Salmon with crispy skin (delicate and buttery on the inside); wax beans in butter (tender and not overcooked); grilled brussels sprouts (just beginning to brown on the edges); and a fresh caesar salad. Everything done to perfection. Full, content, and ready to take their relaxation to the next step they settled themselves on Essi’s blue-grey sectional to begin the arduous task of deciding what to watch. 

This was proving particularly difficult with the addition of Essi's caveat that whatever they chose not be "too plot-heavy" which so far had included Masterchef, an interior design show, and program about shepherding in the Orkneys. 

"Sweetheart, you gotta give me some slack here. I thought I was on track with the sheep!" 

"I know, I'm sorry!" Essi muffled into his shirt sleeve. "I do like animals..." She gasped loudly. "BLUE PLANET."

Lambert stopped the endless scrolling and pushed play as the soothing voice of David Attenborough filled the small living room.

"Hey! Why'd you pause it?" 

Lambert was standing up, "If we're going to do this, then we're doing it right. Hang on." 

Essi slumped on the sofa as the microwave kicked on. In a few minutes, there was popcorn in their laps and half a bottle of vodka on the table with an ice bucket and lemon wedges in a bowl. Lambert read off his phone screen.

"We will take a drink when: 

-David says 'Extraordinary' -David uses a clear understatement such as 'But then again, living in an active volcano is not without its risks' -An animal is being eaten -An animal is mating -There is sped up footage of a plant growing."

"Oh no," Essi lamented, chewing her popcorn ungracefully, "I'm going to get so drunk." 

"You got it, Goldilocks. Fill up."

And with that, they were off, taking it slow with their vodka twists, but nonetheless feeling the warm buzz start to tingle under their skin. The box of microwave popcorn was empty by halfway through, and the remains of Essi's exhaustion had almost dispersed entirely.

"Ooh! Understatement! Drink!!" 

By ten o’clock, pink-cheeked and feeling boisterous, they had finished with their favourite parts of Blue Planet, or at least the ones they had patience for, and had moved on to Planet Earth II.

“Holy fuck, that’s a lot of snakes—Go, you little fucker! Go!”

The drama on the screen had caused the two to separate from one another while Lambert invested himself in the success of the small lizard. Once the baby Galapagos Iguana had made it to safety, they were once again able to recline without Essi risking an elbow to the face.

She bundled against him, scooting farther between his legs where he leaned in the corner of the sectional. He gathered her hair and draped it over her left shoulder so it wouldn't get caught in his buttons—they'd learned that the hard way. It was still damp, cool to the touch, and smelled like verbena sea salt shampoo. He felt a pulse of affection ripple through him as her weight resettled. He loved that feeling. It had taken some time to get used to it. But now it was high on his list of favourite things. He was happy. And it was healthy. And that really was all that mattered. 

Right?

Eskel’s words turned themselves around again in his mind as he wrapped his arm around the front of Essi’s shoulders. He let himself indulge in the texture of her cotton knit nightshirt under his fingers. He relished in the peace of mind at being able to just be there with someone who meant something to him and made absolutely no demands. He let himself relax. 

Essi felt a kiss land on the top of her head with a playful, "Muwah!" 

She giggled quietly, "Thank you!" Then, upon further thought… Did he want to kiss her? Her mind did a double take as she tried to get on top of the ball.  

It wasn’t impossible. They were close after all, and she wasn’t opposed to the idea. She’d recently found herself in a balancing act of realizing she could, in theory, have a deeper kind of feeling for Lambert. Only if, for whatever reason, it turned out he felt the same way. These weren’t the helpless uncontrollable feelings of ride-or-die infatuation; they were malleable, translatable, general feelings of affection and fondness that belonged in any number of different relationships and dynamics. 

No sense risking it, she thought. They'd found a liminal space of comfort and safety that she'd never experienced with anyone else before, and if the options were between being a little confused and ruining everything, the choice was an easy one. Then again, if Lambert was developing feelings for her, she didn’t want to miss an opportunity. Shit. Her cheeks burned as she felt the question rise closer to her lips. 

"Lambert?" she sat up abruptly and turned to her friend who was still moulded into the corner of the couch, watching the mating rituals of exotic birds with bewildered skepticism. 

He jolted at Essi’s sudden movement, "Hello, yes." 

Her bright blue eyes were now slightly unfocused, "Do you—? Nevermind." She lay back against him, suddenly skittish..

"Mm, nah, try again," he said, sluggishly. "What’s up, buttercup?" 

She swayed a little when she sat up, "Are you happy with what we are?"

Lambert blinked, caught slightly off-guard. The question was easy enough to answer, "Yeah! I mean I don’t know what the fuck we are, but I’m feeling pretty good about it. Shit, why? Are you not? I can be less… whatever. Or… more?" It wasn’t like he was repulsed by the idea of anything else happening between them—in theory it was a possibility. In practice, however...

Essi put an emphatic hand on Lambert’s knee, her glassy eyes going wide, "Do you want more?" 

"What? No! I dunno, I—maybe. I haven’t really thought about it. I mean…” Lambert searched Essi’s face for any clue that might help him know how to proceed, “I don’t not want anything else. Fuck, I don’t know! I’m used to doing things the other way around. You know the drill: uncomfortable date, smoosh faces together, have sex, hope feelings fall out. Lather-rinse-repeat. I dunno, do we have to… But what if we try something and...? I don’t wanna lose this." 

Essi leaned in close and whispered, “I have an idea.”

"Why do I feel like I'm going to regret this?" 

"We should kiss."

Lambert nearly swallowed an ice cube, "What?!"

"Just once. Quickly. Just... in case." 

"You want me, Lambert, to kiss you, Essi Daven, on the lips."

She nodded sincerely, "For science."

There was a brief pause during which Essi felt the beginnings of panic brewing in her stomach, but by the time she'd finished grappling with potential consequences, Lambert was filling their glasses. 

"Alright. Fine. My friend wants me to kiss her for science? Fuck it. I'll drink to that." 

They downed their drinks and squared up, knee to knee on the edge of the sofa as they each prepared for their best form—or as good as they could offer given the circumstances. They counted down, 3-2-1...

The kiss was quick, over as soon as it had begun, and both friends pulled away with questioning looks. Inconclusive. They tried again for a little longer, still returning with the same quizzical expressions. They went in for a third time, committing more thoroughly, and for a brief moment it seemed they might have found the semblance of a spark. But it didn’t build. It felt… fine? But no different than if they were lying together on the sofa. It was just another thing they were doing. They each tried to find the right word for what they were feeling, but were soon distracted by the oddness of it all.   

Essi started to giggle. Less than a second later, Lambert joined her, and they both pulled away, thoroughly satisfied that their experiment had yielded a strong No on the subject of More. There was a dull thud as Essi slid from the couch and onto the floor, still holding her drink in one hand and laughing hysterically. 

Lambert sighed and shook his head, "I think it’s time we got you to bed."

Headaches and dry mouths greeted the two friends the next morning when they blinked awake. Essi’s hair was a cotton-candy mess, having still been slightly damp when Lambert put her to bed. The brunet himself didn’t look much different from his usual scruffy state as he gathered Essi up in an armful of duvet and squeezed tight.

“Gods, Lambert, I still need to breathe,” Essi chuckled, pressing her back into his chest. 

“You’ll get over it,” he teased and self-indulgently nuzzled even closer. “You feeling alright? I mean, aside from the hangover. About last night?” 

“Oh no,” Essi groaned, “I’m so sorry, Lambert. I shouldn’t have said anything. It’s just—you kissed my head and then that got me wondering about whether you might want something else, and then I didn’t really know what was happening and—” 

“Hey, easy on the rambling, okay, I’m running on limited brain cells, here. Look,” Lambert sat up to find those big blue eyes, now shining brightly, “I have no idea what the fuck this is that we’ve got going on, but I like it fine just the way it is.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. And we can keep talking about that. Just, you know, maybe next time something’s on your mind, don’t wait ‘til we’re wasted at 2am?”

“Okay, deal. Can we go get bacon now?”

Lambert chuckled, “Yeah, alright, fine. Make me put pants on, I see how it is.”

Their conversation continued over strong coffee and eggs benedicts. Between their check-in that morning and everything that had happened the previous night, it was well-established that they were perfectly happy where they were. Rather, the main topic of conversation was their growing desire to level with their friends about the nature of their relationship. Eskel and Geralt, they both agreed, would be the easiest—Lambert could tell them that evening. Julian and Essi’s friends on the other hand would be a little more difficult. 

Telling Julian together would be best, Essi thought. He was bound to have questions, and if both she and Lambert were there to answer them definitively and explain that no, they didn’t have secret feelings for one another; and yes, they really were just friends and not at all interested in exploring the relationship further thank you very much. Exactly when this discussion with Julian would occur still wasn’t clear. Realistically, they could pick any time, but they decided to wait until Lambert could tell the Old Men. At least then they were assured some less invasive support. 

Their reaction was easy enough to predict: Eskel reassuringly repeated his standby “As long as you’re both happy with things…” and twirled a forkful of pasta; Geralt tilted his head thoughtfully and said, “That sounds very nice. I’m happy for you.” Lambert had expected mild disapproval, concern that they were deviating too far from the norm and into a complex dynamic that would be too messy to manage. Instead, Geralt simply said it ‘sounded very nice.’ Lambert smiled into the open refrigerator on his way to get a beer. 

The following weekend was Julian’s birthday, and, as per their annual tradition, the group all gathered on Friday evening at the birthday boy’s favourite restaurant—Vegelbud’s. The two decided to tell him the week after his birthday so as not to detract from his Big 3-0. Just one more week, and it would all be in the open. Easy breasy.

The afternoon of the dinner, Eskel and Geralt received a group text: Haven’t told Julian the details yet. Keep the beans to yourselves please (I’m looking at you, @Eskel). 

“Why me?” Eskel turned to Geralt over his paperwork, looking a little hurt. 

Geralt chuckled, “You have a slight tendency to overshare when you want to be supportive.”

“I do?” He turned on the bar stool to follow his partner on the way upstairs.

“It’s not a bad thing, but…” Geralt sighed, “Lambert has always needed to feel in control of situations like this. He doesn’t want one of us bringing this up before he’s ready to talk about it, especially in a public place, you know how he gets when he feels cornered. And Julian is Essi’s cousin…”

Eskel raised a hand, “You’re right, you’re right. All points taken. Are you showering?”

Geralt smirked as he headed for the stairs, “Come on then.” 

Four hours later and halfway through dinner, everything had gone swimmingly. The food had been expectedly delicious, the company and conversation excellent, and so far no one had felt the need to bring up Essi and Lambert’s relationship on any level. That is until Julian got a few drinks under his belt, and decided it was time to document the occasion. Geralt and Eskel were the first victims. 

“Aww just look at you two! So in love, so vivacious and full of adoration,” Julian held up his phone as Geralt touched the side of his head to Eskel’s. Beep-Chk! A perfect image of a happy couple was captured and posted to Instagram (#julianturns30 #dinneratvagelbuds #dinnerout #cutiesofinstagram #favoriteotp #gaycouplesofinstagram #livelaughlove…). There were a few more photos of the three of them together, the white chocolate raspberry cheesecake with the candle in it, a group shot taken by the waiter. It was all so close to being over, Essi could practically taste the refuge of the streetcar. 

"Come on, lovebirds, show us a smooch!" Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no. Essi’s stomach lurched and she felt her cheeks start to warm. Lambert’s hand landed gently on her knee under the table, his fingers pressing firmly into her leg as she desperately tried to think of something to say. 

"Oh, um..." 

Across the table, Geralt and Eskel shared a wordless communication: de-escalate, distract, redirect.

“You’ll want to eat that cheesecake before it gets warm” Geralt offered. “I hear it’s so light it’ll disintegrate in a heartbeat.” Eskel nodded in encouragement, taking a bite of his own. 

“I know, I know,” Julian shrugged, “Just a quick one. Say Cheese!”

"Not right now, Julian," Essi tilted her head, her eyes flashing a little. 

"Oh come on, Poppet! I know you don't like PDA, it's just one little picture--"

“Don’t call me Poppet.”

Eskel cleared his throat loudly, "Doesn't seem they're that keen on it. Maybe let's try for one another time." 

"It's past your one-month-a-versary, let everyone see how in love you are." 

"Julian," Geralt growled, "leave it." 

Julian covered his mouth in alarm, "I’m so sorry, have you not used that word yet? I didn’t mean anything by it, I just want the world to see how happy my beautiful cousin is!" 

“Really Julian, it’s not necessary we—” Essi’s fingernails were starting to dig into Lambert’s palm from the sheer effort of maintaining composure. She wasn’t sure whether she wanted to cry or disappear, and with neither of those being an option, it seemed the only possible escape was for them to kiss. They’d done it before. No big deal. It would feel off, but they’d just go back to her place and drink about it after. 

“Essi, what’s the matter with you, it’s just one little picture, and we all know you’re not camera-shy. On three, ready? One, two…”

"For fuck's sake we're not dating!" 

The table all silently turned their attention to Essi whose cheeks had been turning progressively redder. 

“What?” Her cousin laughed incredulously. 

“We’re not a couple, Julian. We’re friends. We have been from the beginning, but we didn’t want to tell you because we knew you wouldn’t fucking leave us alone until you could boast about having set us up.”

Lambert shared a brief look with Eskel before lowering his eyes to the tablecloth, his hand still firmly clutched in Essi’s. 

Julian gaped, “So, it was all… the cuddling, the laughing, that time I came over and you were asleep on the couch, that was all… a ruse?” 

“No, Julian, that was real. I told you, we’re friends.”

“That’s not friends! Since when have friends watched a movie half-on-top of each other?” 

“Two people can enjoy each other's company lying flat, Julian,” Eskel’s rich voice interjected across the table and the discussion ground to a halt. 

Geralt shrugged with his tea at his lips, “It is the twenty-first century after all.”

Julian’s cornflower blue eyes flitted back and forth between the two friends, utterly bewildered. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Well what with your complete and utter invasion of privacy for the sake of hooking us up, we didn’t necessarily trust you to believe us,” Essi answered curtly, her hand shaking slightly. 

“Poppet, you could have just told me—”

“Stop. Calling me that. And I did tell you, Julian!” she exploded. “I told you the first day I moved here. The first. Day. I said, ‘Julian, I think I want to take a break from dating until I’ve been settled for a year.’ And what did you do? Conspired with my well-meaning former mentor to hook me up with someone I had one good conversation with at a Christmas party. And do you know what? We are happy. But we’re happy in our own way. And maybe our boundaries with each other seem a little strange to you, but we’re not fooling ourselves. We don’t want to kiss each other, we don’t want to have sex, and we don’t want a relationship. And even though it’s absolutely none of your damn business, I’ll tell you anyway: we’ve talked about it. All of it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I don’t think I want to be here anymore.” 

The chair legs scraped against the floor of the restaurant as Essi stood to leave, throwing her purse over her shoulder as she went. Lambert looked hesitantly around the table, “I should probably, you know…” He gestured after Essi with his thumb. Eskel gave Lambert the go ahead and he quickly stood to follow his friend out of the restaurant, leaving a very stunned Julian with the other two. He found her perched on the parking barrier in the small lot to the left of the front doors. He called to her and she looked up. Eyes shining, mascara running... 

“Ah shit, you know I’m no good with this kind of thing.” 

“I’m sorry, Lambert, I just—” she blew her nose, “—he just wouldn’t stop and I didn’t know what to do or say, and it all just came pouring out. I didn’t want it to. The whole time I was begging myself to stop, but I just couldn’t, it’s been bottled up for so long and-and—but it’s his birthday, and—oh, he must feel so awful! I didn’t want to make him feel bad, but—and with Eskel and Geralt there too! They must think I’m horrible! I’m so sorry, Lambert, I didn’t want it to be like this, I wanted to have him over and sit him down and be patient, and instead I’ve just made a complete mess of things. And on his birthday! It’s his birthday, oh God, this is the worst thing I could have done.” Essi choked back bitter tears as she tried desperately to stem the flow with her soggy tissue, “Are you upset with me, Lambert? If you are, I understand. Maybe we should take a break of some kind, you know. Not see each other for a while and—”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold it right there. Look, I’m probably not going to say any of the right stuff here, but I am absolutely not upset with you. You got that? And for what it’s worth, I don’t think us taking a break from spending time together is going to do anything. Unless you’re looking to punish yourself by taking away a nice thing which, okay. But the fact that you’re willing to ditch me instead of Arbor Mist says something about our friendship I’m not too pleased with.” 

Essi turned her wide, pleading, bloodshot eyes to Lambert who cracked a smile, “Jesus, I’m kidding! You adorable fucking mess, c’mere.” He pulled his petite friend into a hug and rested his chin on the top of her head until she quieted down. Neither of them was quite sure how much time had gone by, but Essi found herself wishing it had been long enough for everyone to have gone home so she didn’t have to face whatever aftermath she’d left behind. 

Meanwhile, Eskel and Geralt had settled the bill and offered to give Julian a lift back to their place for a night cap, not wanting to leave the evening on such an unsettled note. Essi needed space, and whatever company she needed, Lambert was clearly capable of providing. It was for the best, they suggested, and dissuaded Julian from trying to call her. 

“Best to sleep on things,” Geralt said, tucking his card back into his wallet and giving the waiter a nod in gratitude. “We can meet for coffee this weekend and sort this out. For now, just let her cool down.” 

Eskel clapped Julian encouragingly on the shoulder as they made their way into the damp summer night air. As they turned into the parking lot, they came face-to-face with Essi and Lambert who had clearly just turned to come back inside. Both cousins looked like they had seen better days: Essi’s eyes were puffy and red, her cheeks blotchy and streaked with inky makeup stains; Julian was perhaps less dishevelled, but the dark circles under his eyes were more pronounced, his boyish features now dejectedly weighted down with remorse and hurt. 

“Juian, I’m so sorry, I didn’t—” 

Essi’s cousin raised his hand, “Don’t. Please don’t. Essi, I am so, so sorry. I never meant to push you like that, I didn't realize... you both have been so happy this last month and—"

"It's okay, really, we can talk about this all another time. I'm just so sorry I ruined your birthday. We wanted to sit down with you and talk properly but..." Essi's tears welled up again, and Julian smiled weakly. 

"But we both did what we always do?"

She sniffed, nodding emphatically with a tearful, "Yeah.” Julian pulled his cousin into a fond embrace while the other three clumped together to watch the reconciliation. 

“Oh! Here,” Essi reached into her purse and pulled out a small, neatly-wrapped box. “Happy birthday!” 

Julian opened his gift without a second thought, his face brightening instantly. The box contained a set of premium ultra-light guitar strings and a pair of concert tickets. The perfect gift. Overwhelmed with gratitude, and the atmosphere having been recovered, Julian suggested they all attend brunch together that Sunday morning, his treat by way of apology. Geralt offered to split the bill as a peace offering for his part in the initial setup, and the five made a date. 

A fresh start, a promise of spending time together with fewer secrets and, Julian conceded, a few more boundaries. 

[cutegirlmayra]

*Slurps on ice coffee* ey yo Mayra what's cracking? I need some good ole fashioned protective Sonic of Amy I̶'̶m̶ ̶b̶a̶s̶i̶c̶ ̶b̶u̶t̶ ̶I̶ ̶l̶o̶v̶e̶ ̶i̶t̶ . Maybe something like the press or newspaper attack Amy's character which upset her and Sonic defends or tries to comfort her? That'd be great thanks *Puts on shades and skateboards away*

What up, homie? How’s the skate? Don’t get home to late, my man, you know how these streets be at night. OUR TOWN. That’s what’s up! -slaps hand into yours and does a bro-hold-

You can see my response and thinking for this on the Pajama Blogs! (x) Timecode: 28:12

Referencing my fanfiction: Trying to ‘Tap’ into Love

PROMPT REQUESTS ARE ON SHUTDOWN, DO NOT SEND ANY TO ME, please and thank you ;3c

Prompt:

It was a pretty late night. I hadn’t seen Amy so upset before.

Usually, in the past, it wasn’t uncommon for Amy to come rushing to me--arms flung out and moving like a speed train with tears that sprawled into sparkling stars against the sky.

I always, usually, kinda-sorta, caught her and just let her cry it out with an awkward smile to my face.

But this time... Amy wanted to be alone.

That was weird. I first heard about it from Tails, who said that she had been reading some articles about the team and how they’ve said some pretty critiquing things about her... I’ve never really dealt with anything like that.

Joking, completely, I’ve totally had my fair share. But what about Amy? I always figured... well, she came off as pretty independently confident all on her own. I didn’t think she cared that much about what everyone thought of her.

So I was a bit concerned by Tails’s words, but I thought nothing of it. Waved it off as a momentary sadness for her, after all, this was Amy! She could bounce back from anything.

If it was really serious, I figured she would have come charging after me like before.

The stars weren’t here tonight... odd.

Sorry, where was I? Oh, yeah. The second time I heard anything a little more alarming was from Knuckles. Apparently, Amy had come to seek some solace from the unconditionally loving Chao--now this had been a solid day and half since I’ve heard about the incident of her wanting to be alone after reading some bad commentary on her--and she would shake the chao away from clinging to her.

He said he didn’t get it, cause she used to love to cuddle them and they all were really hurt by her wanting to keep her distance and just pat their heads.

Now, if anything were to set me and Knuckles off, it was that.

His face was so strained as he talked to me about it, I’ve never seen Knuckles trying to hold back so much worry and anger before. He said he tried to go over and give her a piece of his mind, but when she turned around, her eyes were vacant of anything but tears.

“It looked like she thought she had done something wrong before she even did it.” He stated, “I didn’t have the heart to continue yelling at her, so I just shooed her away, telling her to pick on someone else if she was feeling that crummy.”

“Harsh, Knuckles. Harsh.” I joked, but there was a low-key truth to what I said. “Tails said something about harsh comments on some articles she likes to read about us.” The old alter of the Master Emerald’s shrine was as stony and gravely as ever. The little pieces of chipped pebbles always grinded and dug themselves under my fur and into my skin every time I sat there, but Knuckles acted like nothing ever phased his tough skin.

I was acting kinda tough, too... to be real honest with you.

Knuckles huffed, grumbling as he picked up some berry juice he had squashed into a half-coconut  bowl and passed one over to me. “Doesn’t excuse telling a kid they can’t hold ya.” He was right... but then again...

“Maybe she just didn’t want the sympathy.” It was hard to look at it from a girl’s point of view, I didn’t quite understand what would tip her over the edge like that. Maybe they said she wasn’t pretty enough..? Ehh..?

“Girls really care about how others view them, you know?” I took a sip. It did in fact taste good, and I leaned back to let the slight acidy feel tingle against my throat as its favorable burst went down the ol’pipe. “Ahh~ That’s the spot!”

“...I don’t think you should be acting so carefree about this, Sonic.”

His sudden tone made me stop enjoying the berry sensation and look back to him, a little surprised but not by much. Knuckles always chose the direct route in any conversation, it’s what made him so easy and frustrating to talk to.

I smiled and closed my eyes, putting a foot down a step to stretch it out and sighed.

“...Yeah. I know.”

“If you know, then why don’t you do something about it!?” Knuckles, always ready to pull his voice out and speak up when he sees something he doesn’t like. “The very fact that she’s a girl means you should do somethin’ about it! Girls aren’t meant to mope about, they gotta be treated decently! Ain’t that half your job?!” ...Still, it made me like him like that. He was a good guy, and had the real makings of a hero--at least, to my standards--and a good friend at that!

“Half, huh?” I took another sip. Did everyone think me and Amy were something more..? After all these years, I hadn’t the slightest clue. Seems everyone else held a standard in their mind about it though...

“I’m serious! Aren’t you planning to do something about it?”

“Am I?” I smirked, not liking to be asked direct questions about myself. I took the coconut drink down and set it to the side, getting up and stretching my arm out in a few simple gestures. Spreading it across my chest and pulling it with my other hand, then twisting my torso right and down as I put the other arm back and used the one I’d momentarily stretched to reach sky high with it. “Boy, that feels good!”

“Grr... Sonic... if you’re making fun of this, I’ll-!” Before getting Knuckles too wound up, seeing him lift his fists again, I flicked myself in my usual--Sonic Charm~

I winked and wiggled my pointer finger, turning one leg to be slightly bent as I was about to speed off anyway.

I had heard what I wanted too, now time to do some more digging before investigating it right at it’s source.

“Don’t worry so much, Knuckles! Like I’d ever leave Amy to her own assumptions.” I still wasn’t sure what she was struggling with... but wanting to be alone and not have anyone clinging to her in affection?

Didn’t sound like Amy Rose to me.

While heading to dart off the island, I stopped by the chao and asked them what their story was.

Squatting down, I think I mustered up enough of my expertise in games to figure out their charaded play. It seems the chao could tell something was off from Amy’s usual, cheery nature. To try and help, they tried to swarm her as she usually did with endless hugs, but she delicately plucked each one off at a time and set them back down.

All she wanted was to sit, looking sadly between her arms and legs--I’m guessing the chao were trying to do the fetal upright position but their budgy bodies just can’t do it.--and pat their heads.

It made them uncomfortable to not be able to love on her, I assumed, and they continued to show me great concern as they held my arms in different places and showed me their adorable eyes.

“I get it, don’t worry, Amy’s gonna be just fine.” I smiled the best I could, but hearing... well, seeing their side of the story really... heh, opened my eyes?

Puns. Always a defense mechanism when you don’t intend to use them that way.

Something had me wanting to wait before I saw Amy again, though. Usually, that wasn’t like me, but I wanted a bigger picture.

I sped over to Cream’s and Vanilla’s, where I thought more insight might be had.

Tails had already called them, doing his own work to try and collect the pieces before directly asking Amy. We all knew Amy could be a bit... Nah, I won’t say it. But we wanted a better idea before we approached her about it.

Just safer that way...

I rubbed my head, remembering how easily one could fall into that hammer’s swing if they didn’t word things a bit more carefully, as Cream and Vanilla recounted Amy’s strange melancholy behavior, and how she wanted to seem less-

“Feminine?” That threw me for a loop, and trust me, I’ve had my fair share of running through loops.

“Well, not quite.” Vanilla was sitting on her lovely coach with Cream and Cheese sitting adjacent but slightly on her lap. She looked down at Cream who held her chin up a moment, wanting to be polite as she addressed me.

I did my best to hold a steady and kind eye-contact, but I could tell she was struggling to admit what she heard and saw.

“Miss Amy kept asking me strange questions. Like... Was she too much on something. I didn’t understand and she kept insisting I shouldn’t coddle her or lie to her. I didn’t know how to take that... I would never lie to Miss Amy! I just... didn’t understand what she wanted from me.”

It pained me to see that Amy had hurt someone from her own insecurities.

That was everything Amy stood against, and that’s when I knew this was getting out of hand.

I had let her be for a day just to see if she would either work it out on her own or come crying to me... but she hadn’t done either.

She was now hurting those close to her... and so it was time to intervene.

“Thank you for telling me that, Cream.” I purposefully spoke as tenderly as I could, “I’m sure that was hard for you. I’m very grateful you told me what happened.”

She buried herself into her mother’s chest, still hurt, and that drove a powerful fire through me.

That does it, Amy.

You don’t hurt people when you’re injured.

You come to someone stronger to help heal you if you can’t do it yourself.

At the time, I was really upset. Amy must have been polarized by the media.

They call her too traditional? Is that why she wanted to be more ‘tough’ like? Too protected? Too appeased?

Feminine... did she feel like a damsel in distress instead of our trusted friend?

I was trying to keep my head leveled, but I ended up closing my eyes during my run and letting the night’s air beat against me to try and cool myself off before finding her.

She wasn’t home, I checked the windows. No lights.

Unless she was sitting the dark, Amy always had a reading light on. She only turned every light off in her house when she was going to bed, so she could see the stars and feel like we were watching them together, no matter if we were far apart or not.

I looked to see she hadn’t any dirty dishes in the sink, and while peeking through the window, I noticed her drapes were down as well. That means she hadn’t been cooking or baking, and that she hadn’t opened the windows and pulled the drapes to let the smells carry, hoping I’d catch wind of it and invite myself in for a dinner with her.

I sped over to the city, thinking maybe she went on one of those ‘journey walks’ where she just window shops but ends up buying too many bags and waiting for me to bolt by and help her with them. She liked to think and experience things outside the home too... but I didn’t see her struggling with shopping bags anywhere.

She wasn’t watching Twinkle Park’s lights from her favorite outdoor restaurant, or purposefully losing her hat in hope’s I’d somehow see it and return it to her. She wasn’t sitting on her favorite spot with her favorite outdoor umbrella with her typical strawberry and vanilla shake and pretending she was too cold to finish it, bundling up and hoping I’d make a move and pull her closer or something.

She wasn’t in the fields where she’d pick flowers with Cream, or stare up at the clouds and reminisce about old times and stories we used to tell each other, or have her head on a bed of flowers so butterflies would come and sit on her still face as she dreamed of a future with me in it. Waiting for me to zip by and have the butterflies spread out and fly through my backdraft as the air around where I just blazed through would slowly return to a even, equilibrium.

She wasn’t anywhere I usually found her at.

I came up to my last spot I could think of. Why was this so hard? Amy could find me in a heartbeat... which... I couldn’t quite feel right now because it was fluttering dangerously like my shaky breaths.

I kept a strong look on my face, simply because I was worried my fear at not finding her would leak through and make her feel bad about being too well hidden.

I didn’t want her to feel bad... I didn’t want her to be alone for this long.

It had been the dark of the second day... I just wanted to see her. Make sure she was okay...

That anger that once fueled me was now popping in sparks of concern that made me walk around the rolling hills of Green Hill zone.

If she wasn’t here... looking for me... then I truly didn’t know where she was.

Eggman... would have been my next guess.

That, or Amy was replaced by a robot of his and was terrorizing the living daylights out of her friends!

... It was concerning. I wouldn’t worry. I couldn’t worry... Amy wasn’t a little girl anymore and hateful, spiting comments were to be expected when you live in the spotlight.

But I was just wanting to know where she was... how she was... It was starting to drive me crazy.

“Where are you... Amy?” I looked up to the sky, blank and black, and I didn’t like the omen it sent me. Like chills down my fur, the wind finally got to me. I felt the cold... empty world for the first time... realizing Amy was out in it without me.

Was she without her coat? Was she silently re-reading those awful articles?

‘Amy... Amy... Hear me... You’re not alone.’ My thoughts channeled through to my feet and I kept searching, darting here to there, scouting out east and west, north to south was like zig-zagging till every blade swayed left and right to make sure she wasn’t hiding somewhere in it’s darkened shade...

A crescent moon... not a full one. She liked the full moon.

‘Amy...’

As I ran through a rather flattened terrain of another zone, I watched to the side of me how the treelined slimmed down and the edge of the world rose up on a hill... that soon became a mountain.

Blocking my view... of any light the night could have brought to her.

She only liked the dark when she was about to sleep... it’d be too dark to really see her way home, soon.

I had confidence she knew her way home, that the world wasn’t that dangerous... but I wondered if her mind could be.

‘Amy...’ I bit down my teeth, charging forward in a streak of blue.

“AMMMMYYY!!!!”

----

As though hearing something in the distance, I raised my head and looked back over my shoulder.

Something kept telling me Sonic was looking for me... but I wondered if that was true this time.

I turned my solemn head with a sigh back to the last shred of light from the fading sun... I felt like... if I got any closer, I would feel it’s warmth envelop me completely... and I’d disappear from this world.

All these awful words in my head would cease, all this terrible feeling of not being enough, or too much, or just dull and unwanted... I wanted it all to go away.

I had cried and thought so much, self-reflected to the point of not even knowing where I was or how far I had traveled off too.

Tails said I was acting too sensitive to words that random people that didn’t even know me had said. Knuckles yelled at me when I tried to change my behavior so I wasn’t what those people had written about. Cream even got tongue-tied trying to voice her own thoughts about me... and ended up just saying something to ‘feed my ego’ as they put it.

No... Cream wouldn’t do that. Tails wouldn’t try and be so dismissive of me like they said they all are. Knuckles... Okay, Knuckles is loud and yells a lot, but he meant well..!

She groaned and let herself flop back to lay against the cold grass, still holding her arms around herself as she was getting terribly cold in her heartache.

Knuckles just didn’t like how the chao were reacting to my new behavior... it’s understandable they would have been apprehensive to me trying to love them a little less directly... But practicing my new, refined self on them didn’t seem to have any good effects...

Maybe I’m overthinking... but I just want someone to tell me... I’m alright.

She put her arms over her eyes, refusing to look up at such a dark and ugly sky tonight.

“I just-” she sniffed, feeling the hot tears break through her already stained, sticky cheeks full of her earlier dried tears again. “I just want someone to tell me I’m perfect the way I am..!”

A sound arrowed itself into a bow along the plain of where Amy was, a sound that soared through her like a sonicboom that cracked through to her heart and made her sit up, looking as though with outrageous hope towards the last lowering light of the sun’s touch...

The grassy hill behind her seemed to have made a sound like something was moving quickly across it’s tundra... like something was refusing to let her sit in the quietness to let her thoughts overwhelm and consume her.

Her thoughts could hear someone calling her name...

“Sonic..?”

She lightly whispered his name out.

Then, as though pushing her lips back to not bother him, but wanting more than anything to jump into his arms-!

“SOOONIICCC!!!”

-----

He zoomed back to the sound, his eyes raising as though elated to finally get a trace of her.

And those tears that sparkled and lit up the entire night sky with stars...

And those arms that reached out for him, as though stretching on for eternity... a never-ending yearning he always accepted, granted a little half-heartedly, but never refused.

That scene was forever imprinted on him... and he wasn’t letting Amy leave his sights till she was her usual, teasingly flirty and emotionally unbreakable, spirited and youthful self again!

[fumiko-matsubara]

June 22, 2014 ー 13:41

Characters: Chiba Ryuunosuke, Yamazaki Jenny, Nakamura Rio, and Maehara Hiroto

Word Count: 2.3k words

Author's Note: I've just been wanting to write anything about these particular four lol

"What are you two doing here?"

Nakamura and Maehara purposely avoided Miki's intense stare as she interrogated them.

"I was just getting something to eat but then I saw you two across the street..." Nakamura answered innocently before finally letting herself meet Miki's gaze. "So I just thought of saying hi... didn't expect to bump with this guy though," she pointed a thumb towards Maehara.

Verbally unresponsive, Miki blankly stared back for a few seconds, seemingly taking in Nakamura's answer, before moving her gaze towards Maehara's instead and raised an eyebrow, prompting him to speak up.

Maehara immediately looked sideways, avoiding her gaze once again. "Well, you told me last week that I should cancel my date with Remi-chan and that's what I did so now I have nothing to do-"

"Bullshit," Miki cut him off, clearly not amused. "That was last month, you bastard."

Nakamura lightly scoffed at that.

"I uhh..." Maehara trailed off, his gaze darting everywhere until they landed into Miki's hair. "Your hair!" He cracked a tight grin, obviously trying to change the topic. "It looks cute today!"

"I know," Miki answered dryly. Her hair is currently tied into loose twin dutch braids. "I see myself in the mirror everyday."

"Nevermind that, there's something I wanted to ask you," Nakamura butted in, "who's that guy? He looks familiar." She gestured towards the person standing next to Miki, who had worn his bucket hat down to his face, making it almost impossible to make out his appearance.

The said person let out a deep, seemingly annoyed, sigh at the question. "You can't even recognize me and yet you decided to follow us for almost thirty minutes straight?" He breathed out.

Nakamura immediately recognized that voice. "Chiba-kun?!" She exclaimed.

"Wait, Chiba?" Maehara took a step closer towards the guy to get a closer look at him.

Chiba clicked his tongue in irritation, pulling down his bucket even further while turning his head away. "Yeah, it's me."

Maehara stood almost awkwardly by the aisle as he watched the other three go over some make up products and try them out.

...or rather it was Miki trying out the products onto Chiba while Nakamura was going through the shelves.

After their mini confrontation by the street, Miki soon had told them that she was out with Chiba to shop for make up products to use for his future stages.

"The red palette was getting kinda boring lately so I thought of experimenting with colours on him and see what fits him the best," she explained to them earlier.

Maehara admitted that, aside from what he saw or heard from his older sisters, he doesn't know that much about make up since he was more of a skincare kind of guy.

Almost 30 minutes have passed ever since Miki and Chiba settled themselves at the testing corner of the aisle, and Maehara felt like he should entertain himself with the skincare section of the store instead of awkwardly waiting for them to finish.

As he was about to excuse himself, he saw Nakamura suddenly approaching him.

"Hey, so I just saw this tint right here," Nakamura held up a product in warm pink colour in a shape of some plastic tube Maehara can't make out of, "and I thought it would look good with your skin tone."

Maehara blinked in confusion. "But I don't really wear make up though-"

"Relax~ The colour's not that pigmented and it won't even feel like you have something on your lips at all!" Nakamura breezily reassured while opening the tube's lid.

Maehara quickly stiffened when Nakamura suddenly grabbed his chin. "Now stay still," she ordered.

"Hey this is kinda..."

"Don't get any weird thoughts here, Maehara-kun~" Nakamura quickly cut him off without missing a beat.

Meanwhile, Miki slowly leaned backwards to examine her work so far. "Oooh the warm purple is kinda sexy with the faint gold!"

"Oh! That does look nice on him, miss!" A nearby clerk praised when she took a closer look.

"Right?!" Miki grinned before turning back to Chiba. "You holding up there?"

"This is nothing," he shrugged. "Though I have to be honest, I'm slowly starting to get embarrassed with all these people around..." 

Miki smiled reassuringly at him in response, gently brushing away loose strands of hair from his face. "Well, at least people here hardly recognize you. So perhaps that helps a little, right?"

"Yeah, it does..." Chiba softly replied, his gaze following Miki's fingers as she went through the lip products she has scavenged so far. "What happened last week at class was borderline torture."

Miki stiffened at his remark, clearly remembering the exhaustingly chaotic events that had occurred in less than an hour that day. "Aha..."

Chiba just rolled his eyes at her lack of response. "Say, can you hand me a smaller mirror? I want to take a closer look on what you've worked on so far while you keep looking for uhh... whatever you're looking for, I guess."

"Here," Miki handed him her own compact mirror, before returning her focus to finding the right colour for him. "Ohh this is nice!" She barely heard him say.

"Umm miss?" Miki approached the clerk who had praised her earlier. "If you don't mind, I was wondering if you could help me with selecting the right lip colour that would go well with his eyeshadow?" 

She then laughed sheepishly afterwards. "I'm not too well-versed with things like colour theory, you see..."

"No worries, I would love to help!" The clerk smiled brightly at her in return. "Just let me take a closer look again so I can help you find the right fit!"

"Oh that kinda looks sexy, don't you think?" Maehara commented as he and Nakamura watched Miki do her work.

"That's what I thought..." Miki almost whispered, carefully applying the chosen colour onto Chiba's lips.

"Must be nice," Nakamura suddenly blurted out after quietly watching for a while. 

"Which is...?"

"Working on those kinds of lips," she answered.

Miki hummed in agreement, now blending out the pigment with a small brush. "I find it easier to apply technique if your workspace is wide enough."

"No wonder I struggled with this guy..." Nakamura let out a disappointed sigh, barely gesturing towards Maehara. "There's barely any space to work on with how small his lips actually are."

Miki nearly choked at the revelation. "Wait, they are?" Failing to suppress an amused grin, she turned to look at a now annoyed Maehara to see it for herself.

"Oh, the colour's nice. Good choice," she first complemented, taking note of how well the faint coral tint goes with Maehara's warm skin tone and brown hair. "You did a great job applying it, Rio. It doesn't even look like he's wearing anything on his lips."

"Ahee~" Nakamura grinned widely at the. compliment.

Miki cracked a smile. "But yeah, somehow it made it obvious how small his lips actually are," chuckling, she turned back to Chiba and continued her work. "Even I just noticed it."

"I don't know how I am supposed to feel right now..."

Nakamura nudged Maehara with a cheeky grin. "Hey, at least she basically said the colour looks good on you~"

"I would honestly be more convinced if she wasn't still mad at me..." Maehara sighed in disappointment.

"If only you never lied to me~" Miki hummed, not even once looking at him.

Maehara groaned in response. "C'mon Miki, that was way back in April. Can't you just drop it?"

"I think we're done here!" Miki suddenly announced, standing up straight after minutes of leaning. 

Maehara sighed again, not surprised that she was purposely ignoring him. He's more than aware that last month's discourse with Kaho truly had him lose Miki's trust. He just didn't think that she was the type to hold grudges for this long.

"I don't know about you, but I think it'd better if you just stop bringing it up to her every other day?" Nakamura said in a low voice, quirking an eyebrow at him. "Like no offense, Maehara-kun, but if I we're in Miki's position right now I'd be annoyed too."

"Rio, can you help me put back the testing palettes to their shelves?" Miki called out now from the other end of the aisle.

Sending Maehara one last look, Nakamura walked towards the taller blonde. "Sure~"

Maehara was then once again back to awkwardly standing by the shelves. However, it didn't take too long for them to return the testing products to their respective shelves.

"Say, Ryuu. You want me to remove all that now or are you planning to just leave it on?" Miki called out despite her hands currently full.

Chiba was examining Miki's work through the long mirror on top of the shelves. "Hmm I think I'll just leave it on and take it off myself once I get home," he answered, running his hands through his hair. "The shadow work is not heavy enough to look weird to wear in public.... thankfully."

"Yeah it doesn't look like you're wearing much," Nakamura commented, walking away from the counter near the aisle and towards him. 

Most of the heavy shadow work Miki had done were on Chiba's lower lids and on the outer corner of his eyes. Hence why, unlike earlier when he had them half-closed, which made them look more obvious, they were barely noticeable now that he was looking ahead.

"Kinda looks like you're just wearing eyeliner with some colour here and there," Nakamura added with a slight grin. "You look good though, by the way."

"Thanks," Chiba replied almost shyly, though his following smile was making it more prominent. "My stage makeup is much heavier than this, especially the shadow work. Miki tends to go all out around my lower lashes especially..." He explained to them briefly, though more to Maehara since the guy looked kind of lost for a moment.

Maehara nodded in understanding. "Ahh that explains why it doesn't feel the same as last week's..."

Chiba hummed in reply, proceeding to mess with his hair again. "It's getting hotter outside but I can't leave my hair loose like this. I don't have anything to have it up," he briefly gathered his hair again, as if he was planning to tie it into a ponytail, but soon let go of it. 

"...can't even wear it down with all the makeup now," he sighed, brushing it again with his fingers.

"Just tolerate the heat and make do with the bucket hat," Nakamura suggested, handing Chiba his white bucket hat which now that he thought about it, he had no idea how she even got a hold of it in the first place.

Maehara watched as Chiba brushed all of his hair backwards before putting on the hat. "Hey, don't pull it too down."

"Nah I'll look weird otherwise."

Maehara raised an eyebrow at his response. "What are you talking about? I'm pretty good-looking myself-"

Nakamura let out a gagging noise.

"but even I can- Will you stop that?!" Maehara hissed at Nakamura, who only stuck her tongue out to him in response.

Taking off the bucket hat, Chiba approached the counter where Miki was still waiting in line. "Miki, do you have anything with you?" He asked rather tiredly. "Hair tie, clip, a beanie, or just anything I can use?"

"Let me check," Miki quickly went through her tote bag. "Ah I have my beanie, though it's those bigger types..." She brought out a red beanie and handed it to him.

Chiba happily took it from her hands. "Oh I have one like this in blue, thanks!" 

He went back to where Maehara and Nakamura stood and immediately wore the beanie. Tucking the rest of his hair behind his ears, Chiba looked at the mirror in mild satisfaction. "Hmm yep I guess that does it."

"Cute," Nakamura cheekily commented, thus ruining Chiba's composure as he broke into a shy smile.

"Be quiet," he muttered, turning his head away from the now grinning duo.

"Is it even fine for you to be seen with us on a Sunday afternoon?" Maehara suddenly brought up when they left the store.

"I think it's fine," Nakamura answered before Chiba even opened his mouth. "We took pictures last week and I posted some of mine on twitter too. So, it shouldn't be surprising to people that 'Lead Guitarist-kun' is hanging out with people his age on a weekend."

Miki hummed in agreement. "He's just a rather popular member of a local band in this town," she then scoffed, "not a damn celebrity for him to be not seen in public."

"That's true but I'm talking about us being class E students," Maehara turned to Chiba. "Since the reason why you even hid this whole band thing from us was so that people won't find out that you're a class E student technically participating in club activities," he elaborated.

Chiba nodded in confirmation. "You're right. But as they said, it's fine."

They all came to a stop before the pedestrian lane, waiting for the stoplight to turn green.

"We're not wearing our uniforms, so it'll be hard for people to even recognize you guys as students from class E.... let alone wonder why I'm hanging out with you," he reassured with a small smile.

"Exactly," Miki agreed before wincing when the sunlight suddenly came back. "Anyways, you guys got any place y'all want to go to? I don't like the sun..."

Maehara scoffed at her last remark. "Are you a vampire or something? Anyways, I want to go-"

"If you say Marui, I will deck you."

"Come on now. I didn't even say anything!"

"That place is on the other side of the town, you dumbass, and I'm about to die here."

"A little sunlight won't kill you!"

Nakamura just watched the two continuously bicker and turned to Chiba with a grin. "There's a cafe nearby just across the lane. Wanna go there and get some of their iced offers?"

"That works," he replied with a fairly amused smile.

[voiceless-terror]

hi friend!!!! i love your writing!!! if you're taking prompts from the bingo card (if you're not then feel free to delete this!!), how about N5 for Jon? :) i hope you have a great day!!

‘fighting to pay attention to urgent information’ ahh i love this prompt!! thank you so much for the ask, it means a lot since i love your writing so much (and it  inspired me to starting posting my stuff, to be honest). Here you go, I hope you like! This takes place right after Sasha makes her statement to Jon in season one.

Sasha is talking but Jon can’t hear her.

It’s all muddled in his mind. So many things have happened over the last couple of weeks- Martin’s worm attack and now Sasha’s encounter with Michael- and his mind is refusing to process. She gave her statement in his office and was now explaining the situation to Martin and Tim while Jon stood awkwardly in the doorway, trying to nod at the appropriate time.

“We’ll need a plan of attack if Prentiss comes or if any of us encounter Michael again,” she’s saying. “Martin’s already living here, but-”

A plan. Yes. A plan would be good but Jon can’t think beyond Sasha bleeding in his office and Martin throwing open his door demanding to be heard. The worms on the pavement crawl and creep and remind him of something he thought he’d finally put behind him but he’s been chasing it the entire time, hasn’t he?

His body feels at once too hot and too cold. Jon’s never understood that about illness. How a body can burn with fever and shake with a chill at the same time. But he’s not sick, he’s just...overwhelmed. Needs to eat a normal meal, needs to get some sleep. If he could just get a deep breath in his lungs the black spots would stop dancing in front of his vision and he could pay attention and come up with a plan. 

But every other word is ‘worms’ and ‘infestation’ and all matter of disturbing things and his mind goes wild with imagination, horrible scenarios playing out in his mind as his breaths turn into an uneven staccato of sound that he tries to stifle.

“-could get more CO2 you think? Jon?” That’s your name.

“A-Ah, yes. I’ll t-talk to Elias.” Sasha nods and Jon is relieved to have said the right thing. The fog in his brain lifts; the panic eases for just a few moments but it only reveals more physical pain and he starts to shake. He knows he needs to sit down soon or he’ll be lying on the ground either way. So he slowly backs out of the room, hoping no one notices as his hands grasp at the wall for balance. He manages to stumble back to Document Storage before he hears someone calling his name. But he’s lost now, barely breathing as his heart stutters in his chest and he sinks to the floor.

________

Martin had been watching Jon while Sasha spoke. Martin watched Jon a lot- innocently, of course, and Jon never seemed to notice. He was either willfully ignorant or really that oblivious. 

Martin was starting to double down on the ‘willfully ignorant’ theory. 

Jon was nodding along, sure. But his face held a detached blankness, as if each word were in one ear and out the other. Of course he would zone out during this conversation; it involved real, actual supernatural occurrences. He only contributed once, a vague promise to talk to Elias, who was turning out to be a very useless manager. Martin thought Jon was getting better about this. After all, he seemed to believe both Martin and Sasha’s stories. But he watched as Jon moved further and further out of the room when he should be contributing to the conversation. He disappeared down the hallway and Martin let out an irritated sigh, drawing Tim and Sasha’s attention.

“What’s up?” Tim asked from his perch on Sasha’s desk. “Don’t worry, we’re gonna figure this out-”

“It’s not-” Martin got up, starting to make his way down the hallway. “It’s Jon. I can’t believe he would just walk out on this. I’m going to go talk to him.”

“Martin-” Sasha sounded hesitant but he ignored her as he spotted the open door to Document Storage. Why would Jon go  here instead of his office? This was Martin’s room with his things. And I didn’t exactly keep it clean. “Jon?” he called out. “Jon, you need to- what are you doing?”

The man was leaning against his cot, knees brought up to his chest as he stared at the floor. His glasses were tucked into his sweater and his hair was a mess, as if he’d been running his fingers through it. And he was ignoring Martin in favor of whatever the hell he found so interesting about the floor. Martin stooped down to his level, ignoring the twinge in his knees on the cold cement. “What’s going on?” he asked again, trying to keep the annoyance out of his voice. God, Jon could be so infuriating at times, but he was still concerned.

Jon barely spared him a glance and tightened his arms around his knees, looking like a ball of tension. His shoulders moved very minutely upwards in a sort of shrugging motion and Martin thought he heard a mumble of ‘’nothing, fine,” under his breath and he couldn’t help but roll his eyes. He moved in closer, setting a firm hand on Jon’s bony shoulder- when did he get so thin?

“Look, I know it’s a lot,” Martin tried for comfort, though it was getting harder and harder to do so these days when the man refused to see reason. “But you can’t just bury your head in the sand whenever someone says something you don’t want to hear, alright? We’re all struggling and it would be a lot easier if we had a boss who actually listened instead of- shit.”

Jon was shaking so much. How had he not noticed? His breathing was off, like a sputtering engine as his white-knuckled grip dug into his knees. His face was ashen and sweaty. He was clearly unwell but he opened his mouth anyway in an attempt to respond. His eyes did not meet Martin’s.

“It’s- it’s all I think about,” he began, his voice more of a croak than the smooth baritone Martin was used to. “She’s after us, after you and Sasha and now there’s Michael and I don’t know what to do.” Martin watched in horror as his eyes filled with tears and his voice trembled. “And- and what if I go home and she’s waiting there? What if she gets Tim? What if we aren’t safe anywhere?” A slender hand shot out and grabbed onto Martin’s sweater, startling him as Jon’s eyes met his own with a desperate fervor. “I-I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. And Elias doesn’t even care, just w-watches while we all scramble around doing- doing-” his voice broke into a hacking cough and Martin couldn’t witness any more. He dislodged Jon’s hand and backed away. Seeing Jon like this was uncomfortable and he wasn’t sure what to do about it, so he went into his natural problem-solving mode. “I’m going to get you some water, yeah? You’re- you’re not well, we can talk about this later.” Despite keeping his voice soft and low, Martin watched as Jon shrunk into himself, desperately trying to stifle his coughs. “I’ll be right back.”

He hightailed it out of the storage area, eyes firmly on the ground and steps so quick he didn’t notice Tim until he ran right into him.

“Oof! What’s wrong, Martin?” Tim said as he grabbed him by the shoulder. “Boss giving you trouble?” Martin shook his head, voicing his next words as diplomatically as possible. 

“He’s, um- I think he’s sick?” Tim’s brow furrowed in concern. “I’m just going to get him some water, yeah.” He walked off before Tim could ask another question; he didn’t want to leave Jon alone for too long but he also didn’t want to be subjected to Tim’s questioning.

It only took him a couple of minutes to grab some water and a cold towel but by the time he got back to the room Jon was laid out on his cot, eyes barely open as Tim said something Martin couldn’t hear and smiled softly at the man in the bed. He knew they’d all known each other before the Archives; it was something that he thought about quite a bit, to be honest. But he’d never really seen Jon interact with someone like this, so quiet and trusting that he nodded off right in front of them.  

“There you are!” Tim said, uncharacteristically quiet. He reached out and Martin handed over the supplies, still stupefied by the whole situation. 

“Just gonna let him sleep for a mo’ before I force this down his throat,” he chuckled as he gently placed the towel on his forehead. “Glad you checked up on him- didn’t realize he was having a rough go of it. I’m usually a bit more observant.”

“We’re all having a rough go of it, Tim,” Martin felt like he had to explain some of his frustration. “How did he let himself get to this point? I mean, he’s always so skeptical on the tapes but it turns out he’s worked himself up so much he’s sick and it doesn’t make any sense.”

“We all tell our lies, Martin,” The words weren’t said unkindly, but he remembered that Tim knew about his resume and though he didn’t think the man would ever tell anyone it did seem like the words were rather pointed. “His coping mechanism is all this skeptic nonsense. Don’t get me wrong, it’s terrible and very annoying,” Tim conceded, giving Martin a knowing look. “But not all of us ended up here accidentally. Most of us are here for answers. For a reason.” Tim’s far off look reminded him that he knew so little about the people he worked with. He wondered what Tim’s reason was, what Jon’s was. And if they would ever feel comfortable enough to confide in him. 

Martin doesn’t know how to respond to those words, so he does what he does best- deflect and nervously offer his services. “I can throw the kettle on, maybe order some takeaway? Food would probably make him feel better.” 

“Yeah, reckon it would,” Tim’s just staring at Jon as he fitfully dozed. Tim may not have been attacked directly but he looked tired and worried all the same. “He likes Thai.”

Martin noted the fact down for his mental file on Jonathan Sims. Hates spiders. Likes his tea with milk, no sugar. Hates my handwriting. Likes Thai. It’s not very comprehensive.

Later, when he’s making tea in the break room, he watches as Sasha slips into the hallway to Document Storage, attempting to go unnoticed. She’s got a hand to her shoulder like she’s trying to rub away the ache and Martin grabs some paracetamol out of the cabinet, knowing both her and Jon will need it. Everyone in the Archives likes to hide their pain, himself included. But maybe for one night they could help each other out. Four tired humans against two eldritch abominations.

Martin could get behind those odds.

ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27065482

[twinkleallnight]

It has been a crazy week. I am due for a surgery and Corona isn't helping. Finally I will be operated on, today. So before I go under the knife, here is the next one from my favourite.....(read, like, comment. I am already hungry NBM since 10 hours!)

Marshmallow

(Part-13) Crazy nights.

Book: The Royal Romance

Pairing: Liam x MC, Drake x Hana

For previous chapters: catch up here

Rating: mature

Prompt 1: This fic is my submission for this week’s #WackyDrabbles. The prompt is “If you won’t do it, I will.” (appears in bold)

Prompt 2: This is a submission for choicesweeklychallenge. The prompt is: ‘What would I do without you?”’ (appears in bold)

Thank you so much @speedyoperarascalparty and @yourmajesty09 for listening out my doubts.

Word count: 1595

----------------------------------------------------------

"She is crazy, trust me!" I say, trying to prove my point to Hana.

We are both, sitting at my favourite spot, near the lake, under the evening sky, after a crazy country jamboree at the Applewood manor. Penelope had come to meet me earlier with her poodle, asking for advice for her pet’s ill health. I am discussing the weird interaction that followed.

Hana gives her perspective. “I don’t agree. Penelope is kind hearted, and she extends the same love to her pets too.”

But I don’t agree and reply back. “Morgan loves this, Morgan tells me so and so. She was talking about her poodle as if it were a human.”

“Really?” Hana gives me a questioning look. “Being a vet, I thought, you will understand her love for her dogs. May I ask, what were you doing, talking about Amber and Belle like they are your girlfriends? They are animals too.” Hana argues.

“It's different with horses. I mean…. Wait! Are you jealous of my mares?” I chuckle.

Hana's eyes go wide as she turns to me. “Yes, … I mean No! I mean… ugh!” She fumbles at words and I keep looking at her, amused. Finally, she cannot take it anymore. “You are too much!” she says and starts punching me on my arm, her little hands hardly making any impact. I turn and pull her into me, holding her tight at her waist, bringing the banter to a halt. Her hands are tightened into fists, resting on my chest. I gently kiss on her forehead. “Lady Hana Lee, what am I going to do with you?”

She gives me her signature shy smile when I rest my forehead on hers. And just like that, hand in hand, fingers entwined we walk back to the manor, a feeling of satisfaction in my life, a sense of completion in my heart.

-------

“ I think I should request Liam to shift you to my next door.” I tell Hana as we approach her room at the manor.

“Isn’t Riley your next door neighbour?”

“Yes. Liam wants me to be around her, to help her and keep a check. But the room on my other side is unoccupied.” I wink at her. She playfully nudges me.

We reach her room, and I let out a sigh. She chortles. “Bye! I will see you tomorrow at the palace.” I place a kiss on her cheek and turn on my heels before my hands try to reach out and touch her.

--------

I am walking to my room when I get a phone call from Liam. “Hey Liam! What’s up?”

“Hi. Riley left for her room approximately five minutes back. Are you around?”

“ Yes, I am unlocking my door as we speak.” I shuffle through my pockets for the keys.

“Noooooooooo” I hear the scream just then.

“ Liam, it’s Riley. Get down here. I am going to check on her.” I say while running towards her room. I shove down my phone in my denims and push the door. It’s locked. “Brooks!” I call out but I hear some shuffling sounds and nothing else. I kick hard on the door, I push hard with my whole side, I bang on it and hit in all the ways possible, till it caves in.

I absorb the scene inside the room. There is a black figure, pinned down to the ground, and Riley is struggling perched on his body. I quickly grab hold of the man in the black cloak, as Riley moves away. I punch him hard. He lands on his stomach and something falls away with a crackling noise on the floor. “Ahh! Thank you!” the figure in black says rolling on his back.

“Max???” we say in unison.

“Those damn Dracula teeth props! They got stuck and I couldn’t talk.” Max says.

“Riley!” just then, Liam barges in, Bastein in tow. Liam strides towards Riley and curls his arms around her protectively. Riley gives him a nod. “I am fine.”

“What happened?” he asks. Clueless, we stare at Max sitting on the floor in front of us.

Max crawls to pick the white thing that fell out of his mouth. I realise those are Dracula teeth. He shakes his head. “Sorry about that. I thought I will trick Riley, scare her a bit but my plan fell flat on face. I mean I fell flat on my face. I mean both.” He says rubbing his hand on the place, I had punched him.

“Riley, where did u learn those moves from? Bruce Lee?” Max looks in pain at Riley, holding his back.

“You should have told me it’s you when I tackled you down.” Riley snickers. “I am trained in martial arts by the way. So, watch out before you try stunts with me next time, Max!”

“My bad” Max raises both his hands to surrender. Bastein walks to him to give him a hand and pulls him up.

“Sorry for the false alarm Bas.” Liam apologises. “Now if we are done playing Halloween, we need to let the lady get her beauty sleep.” He kisses Riley on her temple. “Come I will get another room arranged for you tonight, dear. The lock is broken on this one’s door.” Liam walks out with Riley and Bastein.

“Night Brooks!” I wave at her. I slap Max on the back of his head and he gives back a foolish grin. We walk to our respective rooms.

--------

I spend the whole day at Beaumont estate helping Max with the preparations for the final event of the season, the Beaumont bash. I rush back to the palace well in time to meet Hana. I knock on her door, and wait.

She answers in a while, holding her phone to her ear, and a fuss on her usually smiling face. She moves her free hand signalling me to come in, and shuts the door behind me. The telephonic conversation continues as I stand there and watch her getting more uneasy.

“Yes, I know Mama...I have gained the court’s favour. I have become friends with prince Liam...right…I am not here to befriend him.” She throws her hand up in the air in despair. “No, you have made yourself clear. If I am being honest no… No, the prince isn’t likely to choose me….” She pinches the bridge of her nose. I step ahead and take her hand squeezing it affectionately between my hands. She gives me a sad smile.

“Yes, mama I know you love me and only want what’s best for me.” I feel her stiffen. Her hand clutches mine tightly. Her tone changes and she speaks with determination. “I love you and respect you for all the efforts you have taken for me but if you really want me happy, then you have to let me figure out what that means for me…Yes if that means being with my commoner friends.” She hangs up and places the phone on the table.

The next moment her arms are around me and she clings to me in a tight hug. I am taken by surprise but I kiss her hair and hug her back with a content smile.

-----

"And that’s how Max made a fool of himself again.” Hana tries hard to control her laughter when I narrate her the spooky-turned-stupid last night at Applewood.

“I can’t thank you enough for being there, Drake! What’d I do without you?” Liam claps my shoulder.

“It was a hoax call, we all know.” I make light of the whole situation.

“Now we must all take our places.” Riley points to the tables exquisitely decorated at the Beaumont bash. Riley is also a proud host, being part of House Beaumont, along with Bertrand and Max.

“Sure. You are the host, enjoy front table with your prince.” I wink at her, and am about to walk when Riley calls out.

“Oh, I won’t leave you alone. Someone wants to give you a company.” She smiles looking at Hana.

“You did the seating arrangement?” I ask Riley in surprise.

“No, Bertrand did. I just made sure that I give Olivia a little payback for what she did at her estate.” She says with a mischievous smile. “But just before the guests poured in, I asked Max for a small favour to rearrange the lady and her Marshmallow together!” she giggles.

“Are you sure about this?” I look at Hana. She is turned the same colour as me- pink!

“Now just go and enjoy, you two!” Riley gives us a gentle push.

I settle in a seat, with Hana besides me, on my right, at one of the far back tables. I am thanking Riley in my thoughts. This dinner won’t be miserable while I have just the right company, I am grinning. That is when I see her walking towards our table with a menacing look. I have a feeling that the seating has been messed up. “I swear I am going to kill Max for this arrangement.”

Olivia pulls out the chair to my left and plops on it and says with a snarl, “If you won’t do it, I will.”

I have two sets of eyes piercing through me. Two with shock and two with anger. I avoid both of them and look straight ahead, gulping the lump in my throat along with the soup. My mind is racing. So much for a peaceful dinner in a good company. Hell, this is going to be one crazy night!

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[soldouthaz]

2020 writing evaluation

thank you so much for the tag @allwaswell16 !!! these are always so much fun to read other people’s and to look back on my own! :) I did one similar to this but not quite, so I'm going to go ahead and do this tag as well! happy new year!

--  

1. number of stories posted this year: 22

2. total word count for this year: 517,711 

3. list of works published this year: 

look after you series 

like it’s a game 

make this feel like home 

let me carry your weight 

give me love 

baby blue 

somewhere in between 

you know what they say 

until this blood runs cold 

sunflowers, sunshine, and you 

your biggest fan 

tall stories on the page 

smoke between your teeth 

eyes off you 

the way this river runs 

golden slumbers fill your eyes 

living for your every move 

makeup drawer 

sugary sweet 

can you keep me close, can you love me most? 

make my wish come true 

4. work you are most proud of (and why): 

oh gosh, I think my first fic will always be my baby, but from this year alone probably my most recent one, smoke between your teeth ! maybe because it’s just fresh on my mind still, but I loved writing these specific characterizations and the prompt was just the right amount of angst x fluff x smut and a bit of humor! 

5. work you are least proud of (and why): 

xx 

6. a favorite excerpt of your writing from this year: 

from the way this river runs -- 

“ It’d be so easy to just open his mouth and plead with Harry, to scream I’m sorry until his voice disappears, but he can’t. Be it his pride or his ego or his insecurities, he just can’t do it. The worst part is that he knows Harry would probably forgive him.

But Louis doesn’t want phony forgiveness. He doesn’t want Harry’s soothing words and pity embrace, thinks he might just break altogether if he was offered them. He feels like he’s made of glass recently and it’s to the point where he kind of wants to tip over the edge, just to see if he’d shatter. Just to see who’d be there to pick up the pieces if he did.

Maybe shattering isn’t negative, he muses. Maybe it’s a new beginning instead of the heavy weight of mourning. Maybe it’s something that needs to happen before he can move on.

He hugs Harry tighter but keeps his eyes wide open. Maybe, if Louis plays his cards right, he can pull this off. “

7. share or describe a favorite comment you received: 

honestly receiving any comment or feedback on my work absolutely makes my day!!!! I don’t think I can pick just one because it’s such a personal thing, and everyone expresses their gratitude in different ways -- I can’t thank anyone who’s ever commented on my writing enough for their kind words. 

8. a time when writing was really, really hard: 

probably recently! I struggle a lot with my mood during the holidays and general motivation, so it’s just a matter of pushing through or deciding to take a break! there were several documents or scenes that I wrote that were all deleted and eventually I just had to force myself to take a step back and wait until I was inspired again. I'm still struggling with this to be honest, but some of the ideas I have for the new year are keeping me very excited!!!!! I'm hoping for many good things to come :)))) 

9. a scene or character you wrote that surprised you: 

hmm maybe H’s character in you know what they say ! I'm not usually a super big fan of the trope in that fic but I gave it a shot and I ended up really liking it!!! the idea was random and I wrote it all in one day when I was off work/college and I was really surprised with myself!! I loved writing a more nerdy!H and I think I'll definitely try to write more of it in the future! 

10. how you grew as a writer this year: 

oh gosh, a lot of ways! when I first started writing at the end of last year I was very private. I didn’t have my work beta’ed and I stayed off of social media except for making fic posts and answering the occasional comment! I met some lovely people this year and they really helped me come out of my shell and feel welcome in this little community <3 I feel like I'm more confident, and I came out of it with so many more lovely friends as well! 

11. how do you hope to grow next year?: 

I really want to keep my rule of writing for myself first. I feel like I pushed myself a little too hard to get fics out before I was ready this year, and I'd like to go back to spending months on a fic and making it longer and making sure it’s perfectly up to my standards before I publish, and that I'm writing things that I, myself would read, and not just catering to what I think people want. 

12. who was your greatest positive influence as a writer this year?: 

oh gosh, I can’t name everyone here but to name a few -- @falsegoodnight @cheershalo @behisoneandonly @yvesaintlourent @cowboyharrystan @tomlinvelvetfics and lovely chelsea too, among so many others. if we’ve interacted at all this year, consider yourself tagged! 

13. did anything from real life show up in your writing this year? 

I think in some ways it always does, even if subconsciously! writing tends to be my outlet so if I'm stressed or anxious or anything really, I channel it into whatever I'm working on at the time. not direct events, but the emotions always end up in there! 

14. any new wisdom you can share with other writers?: 

ahh just to go for it I think! there will always be people that will criticize or belittle, but if you’re creating things that you like and you’re happy, work on being strong enough to only care about that. it’s definitely a process, but it’s so much more gratifying that way!!!!! 

15. projects you’re looking forward to next year: 

everything on my wip page, and some other secret projects as well ;) 

16. tag three other writers: 

anyone who would like to do this!!!! I feel like I've tagged the same people over and over again, so if you see this on your dash, please take it as a sign and say that I tagged you!!!! I would love to see everyone’s answers! :)