The realization that he liked Nico more than he should a friend came as a surprise for Alabaster. Since he was well within the gods' (vindictive) radars for as long as he could remember, survival was the only thing on his mind. When the son of Hades reentered his life a second time, Alabaster thought nothing more of his willingness to have Nico in his life as some desire for companionship. Being on the run does that, he convinced himself then. He just wanted a constant. He figured Nico could be that constant.
Their relationship consisted of playful banters that masked their genuine concern for each other. It was what worked well for them. Nico didn't do feelings. Neither did Alabaster. That was fine.
Or so he convinced himself.
He didn't realize when he started developing these feelings. Perhaps it had always been there when they first met, or perhaps it developed as he got to know more about Nico; he couldn't definitively say. All Alabaster could say with certainty is when the realization set in.
He remembered his thumb hovering over Nico's assigned name on his phone contacts. 'Gremlin', Alabaster dubbed him. It was one subject out of many of their playful banters. In return, Nico named him 'Beanpole' on his'.
"Beanpole? Seriously?" Alabaster judged him. "I don't know anyone shorter than you, but you probably know others taller than you."
"Jerk," Nico huffed before pocketing his phone. "Of course I would know it's you. I don't handout names to everyone I met - you're the only one. You're my only Beanpole."
My Beanpole.
My.
This was dangerous, Alabaster thought to himself as he pressed to edit the contact name. But he had always lived his life in danger.
His thumb trembled as he typed those two letters in.
'My Gremlin'
"Oh," was all he could say as his heart thrummed in his chest, skipping beats each time his eyes glanced at the edited name.
Oh, was all he could think as the quiet realization set in.
But the thing with living a life of constant danger was that this was the life he chose. It was the life he was bound to for the rest of his life. A life that he didn't want to permanently drag others into. Not even Nico. Especially not Nico.
With a bitter smile, he edited the contact again.
'Gremlin,' it read.
Their relationship consisted of playful banters that masked their genuine concern for each other. It was what worked well for them. Nico didn't do feelings. Neither did Alabaster. Alabaster couldn't do feelings.
That was fine. He wasn't fine. But it is what it is.
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are they really “fem presenting” or do they just have boobs. are they really “masc presenting” or do they just have facial hair
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I love "i would kill for you" ship dynamics but what about "i would stop killing" ship dynamic??
I would lay down my sword for you. I would change my nature and go against everything i've known. I would resist the easy way out of solving my problems. I would give up the adrenaline of battle to stay by your side and make tea instead. I'm not sure I know who I am without a weapon in my hand because I've had to fight for so long but for you I'm willing to try and figure this out.
It must be hard. To put down your weapon that's protected you for so long. It's allowed you to stay alive it's kept you from getting hurt--physically and mentally. Because you've never had to worry about a real relationship if you think you'll be dead at the next battle. And you feel naked without it and it feels like you're ripping off an extension of yourself. Are you even whole without it? Are you worthy of being loved if you can't prove it by risking your life? And yet they've found someone who's asking them for something much harder than dying in battle on their behalf. They've found someone who wants them to live. And that's much more terrifying.
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Creating a soulslike where all of the endings are turbo-horny in wildly incompatible ways and watching the fandom argue about which one is the "good ending".
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the naming of hunger games characters is absolutely masterful. each one could have a whole page written about it, and tho i can't say anything that hasn't already been pointed out a million times, i do want to highlight one generality. most of the names in the districts are one of two things: common words (altered or not) to become names, often in line with their district's culture (Gloss, Thresh), or phonetic shifts of contemporary common names (peeta being derived from peter). this suggests, without changing how the characters speak, the idea of linguistic evolution, which in turn is representative of change and of local cultural. the districts are a people in dialogue and evolution with one another. and now compare this with the names of those in the capitol. off the top of my head i think of Plutarch, Coriolanus, Flavius, fucking Caesar. these are, one, roman names, which further serves to reinforce the comparison between the capitol and rome and all that entails, but these roman names, names that have been etched in stone and unchanged for millennia, are a stark contrast with the alive and dynamic names of the districts. it's just another (not so) subtle way that collins reminds us of the differences and the values of the capitol versus the districts.
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