#all his other pics r like... Fine

[luvjunie]

earth 42 miles reaction to reader hanging up the phone on his face mid argument?

— facetime

pairing: e-42!miles (aged up) x fem!reader

contains: arguing, minimal cursing, slightly toxic behavior lol

summary: you love miles, but his overbearing nature is beginning to irritate you. the two of you get into an argument over it on facetime, and you snap at him and hang up the phone. wc: 1,537

a/n: ik the pic might not make sense regarding who hung up on who, but i like it so we finna pretend it does lol. miles/reader are only aged up for plot

“look mami, you not hearin’ me. i’m not tryna control you, i’m just saying maybe it would be best if-“

“that is literally you trying to control me.”

you cut miles off from another one of his mini tangents as you stared at him through the facetime call on your screen, so far beyond the point of caring to hear the same thing he’d told you a million times.

you loved your boyfriend with everything in you. honestly, you did. but in the last few months he’d grown to be so much more controlling than he was in the beginning, a result of his ridiculous need to protect you and it’s got your head spinning on your shoulders. you couldn’t do anything without him looming over you, and you’re fed up. it was suffocating, and you needed him to know that you could handle yourself.

you heard his voice come in again from your phone’s speakers.

“aight fine, if that’s what you wanna think, then that’s cool. but i don’t want you going out that late, chiquita, simple. ain’t no discussion.”

“alright, bro.” you sighed, and he tutted at you.

“i’m not your ‘bro’. don’t do that.”

while you knew your boyfriend only wanted the best for you, you didn’t really understand the extent to all these rules he’d given you. like no going to the corner store at night, having to keep your location on at all times, or having to send a picture of yourself when you’d gotten back into the house— so he could really make sure it was actually you texting him from your phone.

since then, you’d deemed it safe to assume that he most likely had immense trust issues, and that was why he acted so strangely, because any other reason for this kind of behavior seemed ludicrous to you.

miles had yet to tell you he was the prowler, that certain people had bounties on his head, which included anyone who may be involved with him, anyone he holds close to him. he saw everything that went on in this city— when night had fallen and the streets became far too dangerous of a place for a defenseless girl like you to be out in them. you had no idea the kind of people he dealt with, the things he’d seen, the things he had to do. he just didn’t want you to get hurt, but he wasn’t the best at expressing the sincerity of his words, and they often came out too rough, too harsh. it was the best he could do, he was trying to communicate effectively, he really was. but time and time again you’d failed to try and understand his pleas past the words spoken to you; to actually listen to them, and comprehend them, and not just listen to respond.

so, being you, you retorted like the stubborn girl you always were. the stubborn girl he’d fallen so helplessly in love with and was only trying to protect with his entire being.

you scoffed, rolling your eyes at him in disbelief. “look, you can’t tell me what to do, miles. i can do what i want.”

he didn’t hear anything that came from your mouth, because the expression on your face had completely distracted him from the conversation at hand.

“hol’ on, did you just roll your eyes at me?” his brow raised, daring you to answer that question with anything but a ‘no’.

what you responded with wasn’t necessarily a ‘yes’ per sé, but it definitely wasn’t any better.

“oh, so you wanna control my face now, too? dictating what i do with my life or the shit i say isn’t enough for you?” you challenged.

his head dipped back as he laughed, a deep, provoked laugh— though the both of you knew nothing was funny, and that this was always how he reacted before he actually got angry. laughing it off was a means for him to screw his head back on right, as if a warning to you to not push him too far, because anybody who spoke to him with this kind of gall just had to be joking.

he exhaled heavily, a hand scrubbing down his face.

“can’t lie, you talkin’ mad crazy right now, ma. i think you need to cool it with that.” he warned, corners of his lips turned into a forewarning leer. “ima let that lil’ shit you just said slide, cause i love you, and ion wanna hurt your feelings, but we done talking about this.” he decided, leaning forward to prop his phone back up on his desk before scooping his playstation controller back up into his hands.

“and watch your mouth.”

chin retreating towards your chest, you were taken aback at how quickly he decided for the both of you that the conversation was over, as if you had to agree with him, as if things were decided simply because he’d said so. and somehow, you found it in all your unbridled nerve to make things worse.

“yeah, you’re right. we are.”

thumb pressing to the red X, you hung up the phone, leaving miles to gape at the black of his screen with shock etched into his features. he waited for you to call back and tell him it was an accident, and sat there for a minute, leg bouncing to maintain what little patience he’d managed to cling onto during this entire ordeal. he swallowed his pride and called you back, only for the screen to read ‘facetime unavailable’ after just two rings. you declined it. squaring his jaw, he calmly nodded to himself, phone snatched up, jacket thrown on and controller tossed onto his bed— game forgotten about.

“bet.”

____

you were fuming after you’d hung up the phone, steam probably would’ve been puffing from your ears if something like that were possible outside of the cartoons. there was a tiny part—no, a huge part of you that knew you shouldn’t have hung up on him like that; that regretted it. a part that knew miles’ was genuinely trying his best to speak to you calmly in the way he’d learned how, specifically for you, when calm was something he rarely ever felt. but you couldn’t help your anger either, and figured a break from the conversation, and a shower to calm you down would do the both of you some good.

you sauntered out your bathroom after about twenty minutes, a towel tightly wrapped round your damp torso and a heavy, depleted exhale departing from your lungs.

you felt relaxed. the heat of the water had washed away most, if not all of your anger towards the situation and you sighed to yourself, ready to come back to the discussion with a level head, and to apologize to your boyfriend for snapping at him and ending the call so abruptly. it was rude of you, and honestly you hadn’t thought it through until you had already—

“you know, ion usually fuck with cats like that, cause y’all kinda freak me out. but you cool.”

the inner dialogue of your thoughts were cut off by a familiar voice, muffled through the shut door of your bedroom.

“what the fuck—“ you hurriedly started towards the door, hand barely remaining on the doorknob for a second as you flung it open, to see none other than your boyfriend, miles, sat in your desk chair with your cat, bella, in his lap.

he was leaned back, his large green puffer jacket still on, legs spread in his grey sweats. he looked very comfortable for someone who had just broken into a home.

“how the hell did you get into my house, miles?”

you stared at him unbelievingly, quickly shutting the door behind you. he was in no rush to lift his head to address you directly as he scratched the underside of bella’s chin with his pointer finger.

“window. you should really lock that.”

“even if i had, you would’ve picked it.” you argued.

“true.”

his eyes eventually met yours, and they gave you a drawn out once over, gaze following the drops of water that rolled down your skin. there was a hint of a smirk on his lips, and he almost forgot what he came here for. almost.

you felt your face heat up, grip tightening over your bath towel as you shifted on your feet, suddenly feeling flustered from the boldness of his gaze. so he looked away.

“let’s hope that shower gave your mama some of her sense back, huh?” he dipped his head down to address your cat in a sweet voice, before gently lifting her off his lap and placing her back onto the floor, only for her to drag her head and body along his calf with a purr. traitor.

he leaned back once more, hands patiently clasped between his open legs and head cocked to the side, twin braids swishing behind him when he did so.

“so wassup? you wanna try that conversation again?” with a brow raised he studied your features, as if he were silently challenging you to talk that same shit you did over the phone to his face.

“do you know what boundaries are?”

“nah, not really.” he admitted.

you swallowed, gesturing towards the open room for a reason you didn’t know why.

“can i at least get dressed first?” you cringed at how your voice sounded when you spoke, but the way he was looking at you had your mind reeling and you could only focus on one thing at a time— the argument long forgotten. to be honest, you don’t even recall what you had a problem with.

he shrugged. “sure, if that’s what you’d like.” arms crossing over his chest he spun around in your swivel chair, now facing the same window he’d come in through. “lemme know when i can turn around.”

you sighed.

this boy was going to be the death of you.

- please do not plagiarize, copy, or repost my works to other platforms!

likes, comments, and reblogs are very appreciated 💗

[landososcar]

so american ; CL16

pairing(s) ; charles leclerc x american!reader

summary ; in which a trip to monaco turns permenant because of one ferrari racing driver

warnings ; fast paced relationship, smau, google translated french (pls correct anything that’s wrong) & FLUFFF

note ; lol sorry i lowkey disappeared. anyways. here’s charles and leo (aka everyone’s fav duo)

instagram !

liked by friend1, charlesleclerc, and others

youruser leo & i might never leave 🥰🇲🇨

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friend1 monaco is so so beautiful

yourbff you can’t leave me here alone in the us

youruser but…

charles_leclerc im stealing her

yourbff you’ve know her for 3 weeks

charles_leclerc whats your point ??

friend2 the states miss you come home

friend3 leo has a new lap to sit in????

yourbff i feel cheated on

charles_leclerc i’ll make sure you don’t leave ☺️❤️

youruser having the best time of my life with you🫶

yourbff saying you’re not gonna let her leave is kinda creepy not gonna lie…

charles_leclerc you’re just jealous coz she doesn’t wanna go back to the us and wants to stay with me

friend4 you look so happy😁

instagram !

liked by fan1, fan2, and others

cl16updating recent pictures of charles with a puppy, fans who asked him about the dog say his name is leo and he is not charles dog but he is staying with him for a while!! we are also unsure who the girl in his car in the last picture is, if anyone has any idea please share her instagram @ with us!!!!!!!!

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fan1 omg he’s not his dog??? i’m devastated now i wanted leo paddock appearances

fan2 idk maybe if you guys find her instagram @ don’t share it,, if charles wanted us to know about her he’d share with us

fan3 if she doesn’t want us to know about her maybe she shouldn’t hang out with the prince of monaco

fan4 she should be able to hang with whoever she wants. some of y’all are so weird

fan5 imma steal that dog

fan6 that means we probs won’t get leo in the paddock😭

fan7 maybe leo is the girls’ dog and she’s a friend of charles visiting him or something idk

imessages !

translation 1: ‘i’ll miss you so much’

translation 2: ‘we can be crazy together, my love’

twitter !

instsgram !

youruser added to the story!

charles_leclerc added to his close friends story!

charles_leclerc replied to your story

↳ you always do baby

↳ god you’re so cheesy

↳ i hate you

↳ can we go back home i miss leo

↳ charlie babe leo will be fine by himself for 3 hours

↳ i know i know

↳ i just love him so much

you replied to charles_leclerc’s story

↳ CHARLIE DELETE

↳ THE DOGS ARE OUT😭😭😭

↳ LEO GOT OUT??????????????? WHERE IS HE ??? IS HE SAFE??? DID SOMEONE FIND HIM??:??;??/??

↳ omg baby no leo’s fine i’m sorry for worrying you

↳ why would you joke about that

↳ i think i nearly had a heart attack

↳ you’re more obsessed with leo than me

instagram !

liked by user1, user2, and others

f1wagupdates charles and his girlfriend (leo’s mum — we don’t know her name) this saturday. the owner of the first pic said that they were out for dinner with pascale, arthur, lorenzo, and their girlfriends.

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user1 she so beautiful oh my god

user2 where’s leo

user3 girl she doesn’t have to take him everywhere

user4 i think her name is y/n… my cousin in america said that she looks like someone she used to go to school with

user5 i looked through charles’ following and he follows a private account with that name @youruser

user6 ooo that could be her fs

user7 did she really leave leo alone.. she’s a bad owner wtf

user8 leo is a dog he’ll be ok by himself for a few hours omg you just want a reason to hate her go touch grass

twitter !

twitter !

instagram !

liked by carlossainz55, lorenzotl, and others

charles_leclerc happy gorgeous amazing month ☺️❤️

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user1 CHARLES who is THAT

user2 Y/N CONTENT ON THE MAIN ‼️‼️‼️

carlossainz55 whipped

user3 omg is she playing his piano

user4 yes with her feet

youruser love love love you

charles_leclerc chérie💓💓

user4 anyone else think they’re moving REALLY quickly…. like i heard they’re living together already

user5 who CAREEESSSSS

user6 it’s none of our business

yourbff you’re all she talks about oh my GOD

charles_leclerc are you jealous

instagram !

liked by leclerc_pascale, yourbff, and others

youruser “too much, too soon” i’m living with him lol

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yourbff remember when we had conversations that weren’t about him

youruser wdym

yourbff i hate him

yourbff you’re OBSESSED with him

yourbff you guys are DISGUSTING

youruser you sound jealous

yourbff i AM. that little french driving man STOLE my best friend

charles_leclerc FRENCH????????

friend1 miss you 🫶🫶

joris__trouche ❤️

friend2 come visit soon we miss youuuu

friend3 you’re so so so gorgeous

charles_leclerc MON AMOURRR

charles_leclerc YOURE SO BEAUTIFUL I WANNA KISS YOUR FACE

yourbff can you get me a ticket to the miami gp so i can see my wife pls

charles_leclerc no you’re gonna try steal her back

yourbff @youruser ur boyfriend is being mean to me

youruser charlie i lost my miami paddock pass can you get me another one pls but like could you put it under the name y/bff/n y/bff/ln please, for no reason☺️

charles_leclerc okay baby💓💓

youruser stop it i love you so so much you’re so adorable😭

leclerc_pascale Leo ❤️

youruser he misses you 🥰

imessages !

my other works !

[lewisvinga]

detectives | carlos sainz x fem! reader

summary; y/n thought she was being sneaky when she kept staring at a certain section during a concert, unfortunately for her, her fans are good detectives.

fc; madison beer

warnings; ?

taglist; @namgification @louvrepool @locelscs @thehufflepuffavenger1 @minseok-smaus @goldenmclaren @ollieshifts @lavisenri @graciewrote @xoscar03 @c-losur3

note; requested ! the feminine urge to mention real madrid in every carlos fic, sorry y’all i am a madridista at heart

masterlist !

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

liked by carlossainz55, yourbestfriend, and others !

yourusername: the love is real madrid

username: real madrid mentioned 🔥 wtf is not having 14 ucls🔥

username: not her concert being at the bernabeu too😭😭

username: anyone notice how she was extra smiley tonight….🤔

username: BEST CONCERT EVER!!!

yourbestfriend: AHHAJDLSKDKWID😍😍😍😍😛😛😛😛😛

yourusername: SO TRUE BESTIE🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

username: she kept staring at the right side sm, it makes me wonder why🤨🤨🤨

username: y/n i love you!!!

username: why is carlos sainz in the likes😭

username: WHO?🤨

username: f1 driver for ferrari!!

username: a vroom vroom man….

username: mother !!!!

carlossainz55: i enjoyed it a lot! amazing like always!

yourusername: thank you💗 so glad to have you here!

username: ariana what are u doing here 😂

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

liked by carlossainz55, yourbestfriend, and others !

yourusername: exploring madrid 😴

carlossainz55: well all the best stuff is in madrid 😉

yourusername: the bernabeu was quite fun

vinijr: ‘quite fun’ IT WAS CHAMPIONS LEAGUE NIGHTS!!!😒😒

yourusername: my bad vinicius jr🙄🙄🙄

username: carlos 🤨🤨🤨 what u mean by that

username: vini 😭😭

username: madrid girlie

username: SHES A MADRIDISTA!!

username: my delulu ass says its bc of madridista carlos 😣😣

username: her fits r so cute omg

yourbestfriend: the players were cute asf tho😋

yourusername: he says i can’t agree🙄

username: WHOOOOOO says???

username: omg she fr has a boyfriend im crying

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc, and others !

carlossainz55: monaco 🇲🇨

yourusername: you watch tennis?🤔

carlossainz55: it’s fun when you’re with the right people 😁

username: why are y’all trying to be sneaky…. WE KNOW!!!

username: they think they’re slick ijbol

username: u and y/n think ur soooo slick, WRAP IT UP!!!!

username: my man my man my man

username: u mean y/n’s man🤔

username: unfortunately 😔😔

charles_leclerc: glad you guys enjoyed monaco🤣😂

carlossainz55: we had a lot of fun😁

username: why so many smiley emojis carlos sainz jr…..

username: he’s so fine fr and so is y/n, they’re the finest couple ever even if they haven’t revealed themselves yet

username: the way we’re all convinced they’re dating IJBOL😭

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

liked by carlossainz55, yourbestfriend, and others !

yourusername: well you guys are just some good detectives ….

tagged; carlossainz55

carlossainz55: mi reina 👸❤️ [my queen]

yourusername: love of my life 💗

username: why am i shocked like it wasn’t the most obvious thing

username: STANTWT BEST DETECTIVES ISTG😭😭

username: the way she looks at him in the last pic im screaming

username: like me n who🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

yourbestfriend: I WAS THERE FIRST

carlossainz55: u snooze u lose 🙄🙄

yourbestfriend: watch ur back carlos sainz.

yourusername: 😭😭😭

username: he’s so bf here😩

username: THE PICS IM ALDJAODK

username: sleeping on the highway 2night fr😖

username: we’re the best detectives 🤓

username: to be fair, it felt like they weren’t trying to be sneaky 😭

yourusername: God forbid i smile at my man during my concert in his home town😔😔😔

username: i get u queen, if i was dating carlos i’d be staring at him 24/7 too🙂‍↕️

[ghostfacd]

YES I KNOW THAT HE’S MY EX! | TOM BLYTH

pairing. tom blyth x fem!actress!reader

summary. you knew tom was your ex, and that you should probably stay away, but that’s never stopped you before

part 1 | installment of this au (please read for more context!)

ynuser :)

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user1 im loving the aesthetic

user2 THE BIKINI TOP IS SO CUTE

user3 put them toes awayyyy

rachelzegler i pay attention to things that most people ignore (this isn’t your car.)

➥ user4 PLEASE?? not rachel using yn’s own lyrics on her

➥ user5 IS THIS TOM’S CAR??

user6 i may be delulu but those r tom blyth’s mfing hands.

user7 he has her hair tie on; i repeat, tom blyth literally has yn’s hair tie on

When Tom had messaged you saying he wanted to talk, no matter how much you knew it was a bad idea, you decided to agree to it anyway.

The breakup had ended pretty badly. Although it was an agreement between you and Tom, that didn’t mean that’s what the both of you truly wanted.

The reason the two of you broke up in the first place was that Tom was talking too much about your future, which wasn’t a bad thing — but it overwhelmed you. You weren’t ready to settle down, not yet, at least. You and Tom had only been dating for a few months, and although it was all sweet and loving, you knew that getting engaged this early was like asking for a disaster to strike.

He was upset. Clearly. He loved you, you loved him, so why was it such an inconvenience for you to agree to take the leap in your relationship? That caused a blown out argument between you two, and by the end of it, you had agreed breaking up was the right thing.

You had a acting and music career to focus on, and Tom had an acting career that was just at the beginning of its success. You felt that it wasn’t right to put a distraction into his life.

“Is this a bad idea?” You ask breathlessly as you pull away from the kiss. You can’t help but stare into Tom’s eyes, which held a language of their own.

“Maybe,” he says, wiping the corner of your mouth. “But who cares?”

Who cares. Right. Well surely, it was a bad idea to meet up with your ex, much less kiss him, and although alarms were baring in your head that you probably shouldn’t—you go in for a second kiss, this time, Tom doesn’t let you go, cradling you close to his body.

“I don’t care if you don’t want to take the next step in our relationship, I’m fine if you’re not ready yet. I just want you, okay?”

And how could any girl possibly reject Tom Blyth when he’s begging so prettily? Certainly not you.

tomblyth and ynuser both posted an instagram story !

ynsbiggestfan THE GIRLS AND I AFTER SEEING THE STORIES ON INSTA

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user8 IM ACTUALLY DYING BC NO WAY WAS THAT A COINCIDENCE

user9 they’re connected they cant be far away from each other

user10 she’s my Heather 💔💔

➥ user12 fr i wish tom was that inlove w me

user13 so this is why rachel said that wasn’t yn’s car

➥ user14 ITS ALL MAKING SENSE NOW

sean.kauf photo dumpy

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ynuser pic creds ?? 🤬

➥ sean.kauf 🤓🤓

user15 wait im confused, is she together with tom again or is she with sean..

user16 Ykw i cant even be mad, if i was as hot as yn, i’d have two bfs too!

➥ user17 REAL SHIIT

tomblyth fun fact: the 2nd pic is sean third wheeling after forcing me and yn to speak to each other

➥ user17 TOM CONFIRMED IT IM DEAD

user18 all the yn haters must feel stupid asf rn after accusing yn of being with sean

➥ user19 literally cause all 3 of them are literally close 😭😭 like why would sean date yn, he’s literally friends with tom

user20 if yn isn’t dating sean let me have him omg

ynuser yes i know that he’s my ex but can’t two people reconnect !!!!!

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user21 this took the cake.

user22 time to cry again bc tom blyth is off the market

user23 she got him wrapped around her finger FR

user24 THE THIRD PIC OF THEM 🥹🥹

user25 THE CAPTION OUUU GIRLY IS BRAVE

tomblyth i only see you as a friend (the biggest lie i’ve ever said)

➥ user26 I CHOKED

➥ user27 THEIR SOCIAL MEDIA MANAGERS ARE CRYING RN

[httpsserene]

𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐡 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐰/𝐥𝐧𝟒

📖𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: you’re upset with the switch up the internet has pulled on you. a few years ago, everybody was saying you were too pretty for lando, but now they’re drooling over him? you will not be letting this slide.  📖𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴: fluff. mild angst. humor. twt users being twt users. reader is a fashion designer (not important but mentioned). reader is also wild af. brain-rot. not beta-read. 📖𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴: lando norris x fem!black!reader 📖𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲: smau. 📖𝘀𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗸: spice girl • aminé

𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗳𝗮𝗰𝗲: in honor of lando's birthday :) look y’all—i saw one tik tok edit that was like “why is lando kinda…” and i audibly said KINDA???? and then i got mad like, how are people just noticing how fine he is. and then i saw another one that was like, “oh everybody thinks charles is the prettiest on the grid…but now introducing: lando” and i almost threw my phone across the room :) so this is inspired by me flexing that i have always thought lando was fine, and that i’m also mad that i have to share him. loves, this is complete brain rot and it took me years to recreate these ig posts for some reason; have fun reading !!!

all pics are from pinterest/op's

want to be added to my taglist or submit a request? send me an ask!

all of my posts can be found from my table of contents

anything on your mind? talk to me!

twitter • three years ago, 2020

instagram

yninstagram • three years ago, 2020

liked by landonorris, mclaren, maxfewtrell, lewishamilton, and 16,175,978 others

yninstagram lando norris is the man i want to spend the rest of my life with. he’s perfection personified. the most soft, kindest, sweetest, considerate, and funniest man has allowed me the privilege of being his girlfriend. i’m forever thankful that we get to grow together. he’s the cutest, hottest, and prettiest boy to ME–and that’s all i care about, and that’s all you need to accept. i don’t give a FUCK about your opinions on who *i* should date. i’m the only person who’s decisions matter concerning my romantic relationships. why the hell should y’all bitches who don’t even use their own photos for their pfp’s and use a k-idol’s face instead, dictate who is hot or not. it’s incredibly vein, disgusting, and immature behavior from people who think they’re my fans. acting like jealous school children isn't cute; i was never your property. it’s hilarious too, considering some of y’all are grown women DOUBLE my age talking shit about my business–go worry about why your kids don’t want anything to do with you anymore.

tagged landonorris

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yninstagram matter of fact, go ahead and change your little profile pictures to real pictures of you, i don’t want to see any filters. then we can all see that all y’all want to do is spread insecurity stemming from your own self-hatred 🙂

yninstagram and while i have you all here, my winter season clothes will be restocked on the 15th.

comments have been disabled.

twitter • imessage • 2023

instagram

landonorris • august 24th • zandvoort ⚑

liked by yninstagram, mclaren, carlossainzjr, and 547,930 others

landonorris back in my favorite place

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yninstagram first!! stay back hoes 🤺🤺

➥ user being called a hoe by y/n is not what i expected this year

➥ user she has notif’s 😭on 😭 for 😭 lando 😭

yninstagram how r u so HOT 🥵

yninstagram that sweater is mine now 👺

➥ landonorris i can just get another for you love

➥ yninstagram …i want this one lan🫤

➥ landonorris okay it’s yours 🫠

user neither of them have any backbone when it comes to each other

➥ yninstagram as it should be 😤

user might have to trip and fall into lando’s arms this weekend

➥ yninstagram i’m flying in tomorrow rethink your plan 🙂

➥ user i think i’ll avoid lando like the plague this weekend 😅

➥ user smart decision babes

landonorris • september 12th

liked by yninstagram, lnfour, tumitravel, and 425,395 others

landonorris coming in hot @ tumitravel

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yninstagram come in me—i mean come home to me haha 😳😊

➥ landonorris babe please not in front of the sponsors 😧

➥ tumitravel oh no pls don’t stop for us 🫣 we stan y/n

user i saw this photo shoot LIVE!!! lando was so sweet, he signed my hat for me, and he smells so good 😩😩

➥ yninstagram i’ll chop off your nose and then you can be voldemort for halloween 👺

user i don’t know if i want to choke him or have him choke ME

➥ yninstagram how about me choking you

➥ user omg i’m down for a threesome 😳

➥ yninstagram choking you to death :)

➥ user i don’t wanna play this game anymore

landonorris • september 18th • singapore ⚑

liked by yninstagram, mclaren, oscarpiastri, and 950,706 others

landonorris whatttaaaaa weekend ❤

view comments

yninstagram GODDAMN

carlossainzjr vamossss landito ❤️💪🏼🏆

➥ landonorris ayyyy 🧡🥳🥳

➥ yninstagram my boysssss 🥰

yninstagram that’s my boyfriend 🤤

➥ landonorris last photo is just for you 😋

yninstagram so proud of you baby, i’m running out of room to put all these trophies <3

➥ landonorris v happy to be your trophy husband

user i’m in love with this singapore haircut 🤤 thank you for not fucking it up lando 😅

➥ yninstagram mmm yes, i’m thrilled it’s still long on the top 😍 it gives me something to tug on

user surprised y/n allowed him to post that last one

➥ yninstagram he doesn’t need my permission, but i get to see him naked so i rdc

user quadrant helmet it so beautiful! i want it to stay 😭

➥ user i want him to fuck me with it on

➥ yninstagram out of pocket…but completely valid honestly—delete your account 😊

liked by landonorris

yninstagram carlando 1-2 makes up for the war i’m fighting in these comments

mclaren • novemeber 8th

liked by landonorris, f1, yninstagram, and 97,293 others

mclaren pulling up fresh with @ landonorris

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yninstagram not pictured: @ landonorris pulling up to OUR flat

➥ user y/n said “he’s coming home with meeeee”

f1 does he come with the jacket👀

➥ yninstagram no, but the price of me folding you like a lawn chair is included in shipping & handling

➥ f1 i’ll go sit down 😅

➥ user she’s fighting the f1 main??? this is mentally-ill behavior y/n!!!

yninstagram mclaren admin go stand in a corner and stare at the wall

➥ mclaren they made me post this!!! i would NEVER risk upsetting you ma’am 🙇🏼‍♀️

➥ yninstagram no talking from the timeout corner 🫵🏽

user we don’t care about the jacket. which organ do i have to sell to buy an hour with him?

➥ yninstagram both kidneys

➥ user but you need at least one kidney to live?

➥ yninstagram how,,,unfortunate

user model!lando always glowssssss

➥ yninstagram it’s the 9 step skincare routine i have him on, you can follow steps 1-8 on his ig

➥ user what’s step 9?

➥ yninstagram kissing me 🤭

lando.jpg • novemeber 13th • with my wife ⚑

liked by yninstagram, carlossainzjr, mclaren, team_quadrant, and 976,234 others

lando.jpg lucky to have found you so early in my life. you're my best birthday gift.

tagged yninstagram

view comments

yninstagram posting my side boob on the jpg account? forgiven since you called me your wife 🥺

➥ lando.jpg thought i’d start practicing your future title, mrs. norris

➥ yninstagram come back to bed. you can start practicing giving me your kids too.

user i want y/n to bury my head in between her boobs

➥ lando.jpg no. i sleep there also—you’re blocked 🤗

danielricciardo as long as i’m the godfather, i can forget i’ve ever read this 🤮

➥carlossainzjr get in line mate, i’ve called being baby norris’ godfather ages ago

➥maxverstappen wait your turn mates, clearly i am the correct choice for godfather

➥maxfewtrell ah, i believe you lads have forgotten my existence

➥yninstagram baby norris doesn’t exist yet, no need to fight to the death rn 🙄

➥lando.jpg i’ll convince the mrs to have four, for my racing number and so you each have a godchild 😅

user y/n may have won the war, but i’ve won the battle—bisexuals have been fed today!!!

➥user girl, i’m straight and i’ve zoomed in on the last photo an unhealthy amount of times

➥user i diagnose you with y/n-sexuality it’s incredibly common in humans

liked by lando.jpg

oscarpiastri you two are made for each other 😀

➥lando.jpg this sounds like an insult 🙂

➥yninstagram i thought kids under 13 weren’t allowed on ig

➥oscarpiastri you’re not even a year older than me @ yninstagram

mclaren mama y papa

➥ yninstagram still on timeout.

➥ mclaren :(

taglist: @saintslewis @cherry2stems @lorarri @inloveallthetime @mindless-rock @biancathecool @barnestatic @my-ylenia @katekipshidze @darleneslane @lovingaphroditesworld @smoothopz

© httpsserene2023

[wh0reforcoriolanussnow]

Billy the Kid set (insta feed) || Tom Blyth x actress!reader

Summary: this is literally just a bunch of insta posts of you and Tom on set of Billy the kid also mixed with abit of Dad!Tom cause I couldn’t resist myself <33 THIS WAS SO FUN TO MAKE

Warnings: fem!reader noneee

Wc: 743

divider by @pommecita

y/n_y/l/n

Liked by tomblyth, billythekidmgm, danielwebber, alexmroe and 6,037,158 others

Got dragged in to this 😐 fishing is not my forte.

view all comments

tomblyth: darling, you loved it.

↘️ y/n_y/l/n: did I though?

danielwebber: specifically loved the part where you tripped and landed on your ass in the water, very entertaining 👏👏

↘️ y/n_y/l/n: maybe if you guys had told me that we would be going fishing, I would’ve worn more appropriate foot attire 😃

alexmroe: a day I will never forget!

↘️ y/n_y/l/n: please do.

user24: I love this cast smmm

user947: who else is here from tbosas after finding out that these two are each other’s love interest once again 🙋‍♀️

↘️ user109: yup.

↘️ user13: MEEEE 🙋‍♀️

↘️ user005: I couldn’t get enough of them in tbosas so here I am 😂

user464: I love it when y/n posts bts content, she knows what we want.

user87: y/n feeding us more Tom content 🫡

~

y/n_y/l/n

Liked by tomblyth, joshandresrivera, billythekidmgm, horatio.james and 5,243,936 others

My fav look <33 (fun fact: the dress was hand painted 🥹)

view all comments

tomblyth: my gorgeous gorgeous girl 😍

↘️ y/n_y/l/n: 🥰

user86: AHHHHHH HIS COMMENT

user150: ‘my gorgeous gorgeous girl’ he’s actually talking abt me hehehehe

user328: Dulcinea was serving looks the entire season, and that’s on periodt.

↘️ y/n_y/l/n: 🤭 couldn’t agree more

↘️ user328: YOU RESPONDED AHHHH ILY

↘️ user25: FACTS

~

tomblyth

Liked by y/n_y/l/n, nuriaavegaa, billythekidmgm, rachelzegler and 8,932,451 others

Past couple of weeks 🎬

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user672: oh to be y/n y/l/n 😫

siobhan: will miss u all!!!

↘️ tomblyth: it was nice knowing ya Mrs Riley 🤠

↘️ siobhan: wish I hadn’t gotten shot in the head by my dbag husband (all your fault @shaunmbenson)

user19: the last picture awhhhh @y/n_y/l/n

↘️ tomblyth: she’s actually a horse whisperer

↘️ y/n_y/l/n: I am 🤫

↘️ user19: NO WAY YOU BOTH REPLIED OMFG

user465: Billy the Kid makes me weak in the knees oml

user348: omw to rewatch BTK for the millionth time 🏃‍♀️

~

tomblyth

Liked by rachelzegler, y/n_y/l/n, danielwebber, dakotadaulby and 10,397,262 others

Elsie when I first started filming s1 of BTK in 2021 and Elsie now during s2 🥹 Happy birthday my love <3 love you with all my heart!

view all comments

y/n_y/l/n: time flies 😭

↘️ tomblyth: our little girl isn’t so little anymore!

billythekidmgm: happy birthday Elsie! we LOVE seeing your happy face at set 💞

danielwebber: i remember holding her for the first time as a baby like it was yesterday 🥹

rachelzegler: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELS! I need to see you soon sweetheart 😭

↘️ y/n_y/l/n: she misses u and josh like crazy!!

user287: STOP MY HEART CANT WITH THIS

user932: Elsie is so freakin cute!!

user02: imagine being able to say Tom Blyth and Y/n Y/l/n are your parents…. nepo baby!

user461: the first picture of y/n and Elsie 😭 this post is too adorable!

~

alexmroe

Liked by y/n_y/l/n, tomblyth, horatio.james, danielwebber and 1,937,261 others

Yeehaw 🤠

view all comments

y/n_y/l/n: i took the fifth pic 🙋‍♀️🤭

↘️ alexmroe: yes, yes, fifth pic creds goes to u

y/n_y/l/n: oml my tan in the last pic……

tomblyth: we’re so cute @y/n_y/l/n

↘️ y/n_y/l/n: we are aren’t we 🤭

↘️ user287: DAMN RIGHT. THE CUTEST COUPLE

↘️ user109: u guys r literally so wholesome i cant w it

user88: AWEEEE the last pic!!!

user163: excuse me- the third pic- DAMN TOM IS FINE

user847: I love seeing Tom in a cowboy hat 🫶

↘️ y/n_y/l/n: same.

~

y/n_y/l/n

Liked by tomblyth, siobhan, ashleyjliao, billythekidmgm, joshandresrivera and 9,789,252 others

life recently. Alberta, ily!

view all comments

ashleyjliao: 😍😍

↘️ y/n_y/l/n: Miss u bb x

joshandresrivera: 3rd pic 🤣

↘️ y/n_y/l/n: yk how he is with the cold 🥶

↘️ tomblyth: oh hush, I was being reasonable unlike you who was wearing a tank and shorts.

user63: Tom and Elsie 😭

user912: Y/n wearing Tom’s hat in the first pic 🤭

↘️ tomblyth: she steals it all the time

↘️ y/n_y/l/n: SHHHH

user108: why do I sometimes forget that Tom has a literal 4 year old daughter

user143: yessss keep feeding us Tom x Elsie content!!!!

user622: she’s hot, she has an even hotter boyf, a cute daughter, she’s rich, popular, an AMAZING actress, she’s literally winning at life 😫

user150: lol I wondered why their chemistry was so good in tbosas and btk. ITS CAUSE THEY LOVE EACH OTHER IRL.

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Charlie: "Dad. Did you post this."

Lucifer: "Oh my 'selfie' with your dear lovely Maggie?? Why yes I DID! Do you like it!?"

Charlie: "Dad."

Lucifer: "Since she's your loving girlfriend, who you love, I thought gosh! I should really have on my social media page! Make a change from all the ducks, ha ha!"

Charlie: "Dad did you write the- the caption on it?"

Lucifer: "The c- oh yes! Well I wanted everyone to know how much I ADORE my daughter's girlfriend!!"

Charlie: "You wrote-"

Lucifer: "See, the 'bad' here means 'good'! I checked! Bad and bitch are bad on their own, but when you put them together it's like a, er, a double negative making a positive, haha! Maggie's a bad bitch- she's AWESOME- which ahaha I'm sure YOU know since you're dating her-and now all of Hell knows I think so too!!!! ISN'T THAT SWELL!"

Charlie: "But the actual whole caption says-"

Lucifer: "'ME AND THE BAD BITCH I PULLED BY BEING CHARLIE'S DAD'!"

Lucifer: "Aww and the picture turned out so great! Look!"

Lucifer: ".... you don't look super thrilled about it, Char-char."

Charlie: "Pulled, dad... Do you know what 'pulled' can mean exactly, specifically, in THIS context..?"

Lucifer: "... pulled.... into a... hug? Like in the selfie...?"

Charlie: "Dad."

Charlie: (deep breath) "I can't believe I'm saying this..."

Charlie: "You made it sound like you SLEPT WITH my girlfriend."

Lucifer: "......."

Lucifer: "Oh. HA! That's..."

Lucifer: (deflating balloon noises as he literally shrivels up into a crumpled pile of clothes mostly hidden by his hat)

Charlie: "We're not angry!"

Lucifer: ".... i m s o r r y..."

Charlie: "It's okay!!! IT'S FINE. A little mentally scarring and socially mortifying not to mention something our friends won't EVER let us live down, but- well- Just... Just-"

Charlie: "No more social media meme posting without running them past me or Vaggie first, alright!?"

Lucifer: "If I delete the post maybe no one else will see it...."

Charlie: "Everyone in Hell has already seen it, dad."

Lucifer: "..i could delete myself instead"

Charlie: "And HOW would that help?"

Lucifer: "...it would make me feel better..."

Vaggie: "Honestly sir, the most embarrassing part is how you look young enough to be my teenage son."

Charlie: "Thanks, Vaggie."

Vaggie: "Check out my stress wrinkles and scars next his baby smooth face. It's like I picked him up from a cradle somewhere."

Charlie: "Please don't joke about cradle robbing my actual father."

Vaggie: "Sorry babe."

Charlie: "I mean I'll NEVER be able to look at ANY of my parents' family portraits the same way ever AGAIN, but thank you for being SO understanding about the rumor you're dating my DAD!"

Vaggie: "Sir, what kinda skin routine are you even doing?"

Lucifer: "room full of rubber ducks and despair"

Charlie: "VAGGIE PLEASE."

Vaggie: "Sweetie, I'm ruffling his hair in the pic. It's hilarious."

Charlie: "I DON'T NEED THE REMINDER!"

Vaggie: "Feels like I'm about to call the king of hell 'kiddo' or something."

Lucifer: (a puddle on the floor) "i thought it was funny too"

Charlie: "Okay.... okay."

Charlie: "You two NEED to find a bonding activity that doesn't TRAUMATIZE me."

Vaggie: "Hmm."

Lucifer: "OH WE COULD-"

Charlie: "Or each other!"

Lucifer: "Oh well then I have nothing!"

Vaggie: "We'll always have that time you fake dated me online, sir someday dad-in-law."

Lucifer: "Our beautifully shared new horrifying past..."

Charlie: "Ha ha HA! Keep this up and either the dad part or the someday in-law part is gonna stop being accurate REAL quick!"

Vaggie: "It will?"

Charlie: "No but I'm trying to threaten you two right now so SHUSH."

[gothic-thoughts]

Slow on the Internet

(idek how i found this pic of him but im SO glad this shit exists😭)

(AGED UP) Yuji Itadori x Black Fem Reader Fluff

Streamer!Yuuji, Shy!Reader, RoommateAU, Friends2Lovers

CW: oblivious Yuuji 😭😭, yuuji talking to his twitch chat, reader speaks some Japanese 🤝🏾 Yuuji speaks some English, not proofread

Word Count: 1701

any Japanese is written in Romaji and confirmed by DeepL

It was 10 pm, Itadori was sitting in his gaming headphones on his stylish armchair, playing a popular game while Spotify was quietly playing a mellow song in the background.

"Guys, the stream's gonna be a little quiet, I don't want to wake my roommate."

Itadori tried not to make too much noise, talking quietly to his audience.

- Which one?

- Is it (Y/n)??

- Megumi or the American girl you brought on a while ago?

- The girl??

 "Yes, I’m talking about (Y/n). Megumi's out for the night. Uh, for those new to stream, a couple streams ago..." Yuuji laughs into his hand, "Like 3 streams ago, I forced my roommate, (Y/n), to make a... commentary vid with me."

- You should force her back fr 👀👀

- Bring her back, yall were cute

- You guys chemistry was adorable, u sure she's just a roomie??👀👀

He laughed at the comments, a little embarrassed at the idea of having chemistry with his roommate, but it was sweet of them to think that. He shook his head and laughed, trying to brush it off as a friendly relationship.

"Shut up, it’s a normal amount of chemistry! I like to think we have a cool dynamic.”

- UR TELLING ME U DON'T LIKE HER??

- denial isn’t healthy, Itadori

- but does she want to STAY ur friend??

It was flattering how invested they were in a relationship between him and (Y/n). He wasn't sure what his chat was implying, surely they were teasing him. There was a little part of him that liked and even agreed with his chat's implications. He was glad they were taking so much interest in his friendship with (Y/n). It was sweet.

"I- what are you guys saying?" He laughed nervously, his cheeks red.

- THAT SHE LIKES U DUH

- U LIKE EACH OTHER??

- ITADORI UR FUMBLING

"You really think my roommate likes me? Really?"

- YES

- The only she could make it more obvious was if she kissed you like r u srs 😭😭

- Does she take or borrow ur stuff a bunch?

"Oh yeah, all the time." He laughed, nodding. "Like she'll use my body soap and won’t give it back unless I ask. Sometimes she'll even just take my clothes and leave them somewhere in her heya (room); sore wa wakaranai (I don't get that)."

- Bro cuz she likes u

- YUUJI WHAT

- She got it bad too. Both of u do

- AND U FRIENDZONED HER??

His heart was beginning to race a little as his chat spoke and said all these things. He laughed nervously, but he didn't deny any of their comments. He wondered if all these things actually were happening because she did have feelings for him.

"No, no I didn't... did I?"

- How do u curve a goddess BY ACCIDENT?

- Rejecting someone by accident is crazy

- She is fine asf lowkey

He shivered a little as his chat continued, making him begin to feel a little bad for keeping his feelings to himself and even stupid when realizing that he wasn’t reading her feelings correctly.

"I don't know, I mean.... it never crossed my mind that she really liked me. Maybe... but she just did small things."

He rubbed the back of his neck, not sure what to say. "I didn’t think she’d like me, I thought she was just doing it cuz she’s still fairly new to Japan. Aside from the fact that she’s out of my league."

- is it because she's older than you?

- I dont even think ur age gap is even that big smh

- how old is she anyway? U look about the same age

- Ik ur 21 but how old is (Y/n)?

"How old? She's 23, but still..."

He rubbed the back of his neck, his face red. He just didn't know what to say so he just laughed nervously. They kept describing her and it made him feel bad, thinking that he had been doing this to her, hopefully she still liked him so he could try again.

- ONLY 2 YEARS AND U STRESSIN BOUT AN AGE GAP???

- If you don't GO CONFESS LIKE AN ADULT😭😭

- Ur both young adults so age is just a number fr

- Yuuji, don't piss me off 🙄😤

Itadori couldn't help but laugh the more he read, unable to deny the comments that his chat was making. It felt like his chat had read his mind.  

"Okay okay, wakattyo (i get it)! She likes me, I might like her, age isn't an issue. What am I supposed to do though?"

- Talk to her wat 😭😭

- UH TALK TO HER??

- Ask her out duh.

He laughed and read the comments. His chat was making it so simple.

"Come on guys, it can't be that simple. I live with her! What if she doesn't feel the same and things end up being awkward?"

Itadori jumps out of his chair, his heart beating out of his chest when he hears the only other person in the house knock on his bedroom door. Shit. Of course. He then realized he had his stream on the whole time so she definitely heard everything. He got up and walked over to his door. He cracked open the door, peeking through with his cheeks still red.

“Hey, Yuu.”

"Hey... did you hear nandemo (anything)?"

"Hear what?" (Y/n) furrowed her eyebrows, "You on the phone?”

He paused and smiled, "Uh, yeah. Yeah, I was just making sure I wasn’t being too, um, loud. I thought you were asleep.”

“I was, but I woke up wanting something sweet. I'm running to the konbini, nani ka hoshi mono wa?"

“Yeah, sure.” He paused, thinking of something, "Can you get me some ichigo pocky?"

“Honto ni? I was gonna get the same thing.”

He laughed, her answer surprised him. "Really?"

“Yea. Alright, I'll be right back."

He smiles, waiting for her to come back. He had so many thoughts, so much to process about the stuff his chat said and his own feelings for her. He waited for her to come back with the strawberry pocky.

- Well???

- Did she seem to like u??

- What she say?

“There's really no reason for me not to like her, ya know? I'm starting to think I like her back, really like her, she’s so sweet." He rubbed his neck, feeling guilty, "You guys were right, I've been rejecting her by accident. When she gets back, I want to tell her."

- YAAY

- LETSSGOOO

- THATS MY BOY

- GAMER BF + SHY GF FTW

The comments made him smile even brighter. The chat called her his girlfriend, but he didn't want to get too ahead of himself. He could only hope she'd respond positively.

"Shut up guys, I'm not her boyfriend.... well, yet hopefully."

20 minutes later, she walks into his room with snacks and a few drinks in a bag. He didn't expect her to come back so fast but it made him grateful. He was smiling wide as he took off his headphones and paused his game again, realizing how cute she was when she was just being herself. (Y/n) pauses in his doorway with wide eyes and a dropped jaw.

“Are--” She lowered her voice, “Are you streaming?”

"Uh, heh yeah. Uh, my chat they made me see something. It has to do with you."

“Oh god...” She chuckles and waves shyly at the camera, walking over, “They don't want me on another stream, do they?”

His chat was blowing up with comments, excited at the appearance of his roommate again. "Shut up guys, I swear. It wasn't planned. Anyway, you don't have to come near the camera.”

“I don’t, good; I was freaking out already.” She laughs.

“Do you mind if I keep streaming while we talk?"

“Uh... sure, why?” She hands him a soda and the boxes of pocky then backs out of the camera, “You making me nervous~”

"Yeah, sorry. They've really grown to like you, so they're excited to see you again."

“I was only in one stream!”

"I know, I know, but they really liked you. So every time you show up again, they get really excited because they love seeing more of you."

“I didn’t know I had fans; is that what you wanted to tell me?”

He sighed, "No, it's not. There's something else."

“Mkay...?”

"Alright.” He takes a deep breath and stands, hoping he doesn’t make a fool of himself, “So chat made me realize that I’m a biggest idiot in the world. I... I like you, (Y/n).”

“You're...” (Y/n) chuckles uncomfortably, “You’re joking? Kore wa jyooku desu ka?”

"No, no. I mean it. They helped me realize that you liked me so I wanted to tell you that.”

“But I thought you didn't like me.”

"Yeah, well, I thought I didn't, I realized it after they pointed out how we treat each other. And they were right.”

“So you were rejecting me... by accident?!”

“I just thought you'd stick around me cuz you’re still a little new to Japan!"

“Yuuji, I've lived here for like 5 months now!”

“Yeah, but I thought, like... I don’t know!”

“God, you be so clueless sometimes.” She sighs deeply, “Since I know now, finish your stream and we can eat the snacks and maybe, uh, eiga o miru?"

Itadori froze. “Movie? You... want to watch a movie with me?"

“Seems like the only thing to do this late at night," She chuckles, "Everything but the convenience store is closed this late."

"Hell yeah, I’d love to!”

(Y/n) laughs, “Mkay, lemme know when you’re done.”

(Y/n) leaves his room with the bag of her sweets and closes the door. Yuuji sits back down in his chair with a wide smile on his face as he starts playing his game again. He was so focused on finishing it for his stream and going to watch the movie that he wasn’t reading the chat’s confused and riled comments. He finally looked over at them and laughed, pausing the game:

- ITADORI IF U DON'T END THE STREAM

- GO BRO

- END STREAM

- STREAM TMR TF

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(a/n): unfortunately not sponsored by strawberry pocky cuz 🤤🤤

[betterthanburrow]

It Was Divine - Instagram AU

(Bengals Quarterback! Joe Burrow x RnB Singer! OC)

liked by yourinstagram and 99,690 more users

Bengals: Starting off May with a pic of Joe.

view all 13,009 comments

username1: a great start to the month

username2: thank you admin!

liked by 113,009 users

ENEWS: is it the time of season for romantic relationships between singers and football players?!

R&B Singer Y/FN Y/LN and Football Quarterback Joe Burrow are rumored to be in a relationship.

Official Sources tell us that the two met earlier this year when Y/N performed the National Anthem at the AFC Championship game between the Bengals vs the Chiefs and have stayed close in touch ever since.

view all 909 comments

username1: my favorite singer and my favorite football player are in a RELATIONSHIP?!

username2: this relationship seems like a fever dream

username3: he didn’t walk away from this football season with a SB ring… but he’s walking away with a new hot girl by his side.

liked by 222,013 users

WorldOfY/N: AFTER 3 YEARS OF WAITING…

WE’RE GETTING A NEW ALBUM THIS MONTH!

view all 69,420 comments

username1: dating rumors AND album announcement on the same day? … this is too much to handle 🫨

username2: OH MY GOSH!

username3: AM I DREAMING RIGHT NOW?!

username4: GO CHECK HER INSTAGRAM! … SHE JUST POSTED THE ALBUM NAME, THE ALBUM COVER, THE RELEASE DATE, AND THE TRACK-LIST!

liked by joeyb_9 and 5,420,013 more users

yourinstagram: It Was Divine 🦋 The Tracklist 🤍

view all 999,009 comments

yourrecordlabel: very excited for this new album 🤍

username1: I’M CLAIMING TRACK 4!

username2: i can already tell that this will be my new favorite album of all time!

Twitter:

liked by joeyb_9 and 4,250,009 more users

yourinstagram: More Than Enough is Out Now ☁️

view all 250,045 comments

username1: MORE THAN ENOUGH IS MY NEW FAVORITE SONG!

username2: is this a soft launch 🤨

username3: i think there’s only one man on this planet who would wear those tie-dye sweatpants…

liked by yourinstagram and 245,450 more users

Bengals: Headband Joe: Unlocked

view all 99,513 comments

username1: i didn’t expect to see this kind of look on Joe… but i don’t hate it at all.

username2: this dude is SO FINE!

username3: hard to watch ❌ hard while watching ✅

username4: i understand what the tiktok girls see now

username5: you’re a lucky woman @.yourinstagram

liked by yourinstagram and 930,205 more users

joeyb_9: First day of school vibes

view all 20,013 comments

username1: you got me feeling some type of way on this lovely morning Mr. Joe Burrow.

username2: 🤤🤤🤤

username3: MY FAVORITE WHITE BOY!!!

liked by 255,505 users

ENEWS: Despite no official confirmation of the relationship between the Singer and the Quarterback, Sources close to the new couple say that they’re both “head over heels in love” and that fans will be able to feel that with the songs on Y/N’s upcoming album.

“Things in their relationships are moving quicker than they expected but for all good reasons… Ever since the two met for the first time earlier this year, Joe has made a huge impact on Y/N’s life to the point where she got very inspired to get into the music studio to create her new album.” one source says.

Another source says, “After the lost of the AFC Championship game, Y/N was by Joe’s side as a new friend and Joe had been very welcoming of the new friendship because he had been a fan of her music since her debut album was released in 2020 (Joe had said in an interview before that her debut album helped ease his mind during the Covid Lockdown).”

“Don’t expect Joe and Y/N to hard launch their relationship on social media because Joe and Y/N use social media as just a business platform… but through the way they’ll be supporting each other is how the world will be able to see the love that Joe and Y/N have for each other.” an official source says.

view all 55,013 comments

username1: i can’t believe that my favorite singer and my favorite NFL quarterback are in a relationship WITH EACH OTHER?!

username2: the two most private celebrities that i stan are in a relationship… I JUST NEED ONE PICTURE!

username3: oh okay… so they’re IN LOVE!

username4: Y/N is a WAG!

username5: this man has made such a huge impact in her life to the point where she was INSPIRED to go to the MUSIC STUDIO to RECORD A NEW ALBUM!

liked by joeyb_9 and 10,013,420 more likes

yourinstagram: It Was Divine 🦋 Out Now!

view all 690,513 comments

yourrecordlabel: congratulations on the new album 🤍

username1: THIS IS YOUR BEST ALBUM!!!!

username2: ALBUM OF THE YEAR!

username3: the album has been on repeat ALL DAY!

joeyb_9: 🤍

Author’s Note:

if you have a Instagram AU request, please send the IG AU request to my Inbox and i’ll try to get the requested Instagram AU published as fast as i can!

thank you for all the love and support! 🤍

[herejusttosufferalong]

I've been a Lukola shipper since last year, and I've been reading all the male POVs. So, I decided to ask the dudes in my life about this whole situation. I talked to some of my male BFFs and my brother. I'll start with what my brother, who's 15 (I'm 19), had to say.

Over the past three days, I showed him most of the interviews, especially the unhinged ones, all the hand-holding clips, Tif's edits, etc. Then I introduced him to the GF and gave him a brief rundown of all the antics - Instyle, NY and London premieres, Deuxmoi, pool pics, Milan, GQ.

Here’s what he thinks:

Luke and Nic LOVE each other. Luke probably loves her more, or maybe she's just better at hiding it. Nic is affectionate towards everyone, so it’s not as apparent. My brother thinks Nic is really funny and obviously beautiful, especially after watching her solo interviews like "9 Things I've Never Tried Before," ASMR, and accents.

Luke is being hot and cold. After I told him about the break after Brasil, he said that makes sense. It seems like whenever Luke goes back to his friends, he comes back acting like a dick. I showed him Luke's hot boy summer phase and the NYE video of them dancing. He said Luke acts like a dick when he's with his friends, especially Rory, who seems like the leader. He even noticed Tom and said Luke should hang out with him more. When I mentioned Rory breaking up with his GF and now dating Sienna (who's 23), he immediately clocked it and said, “Wow, Lukey did the same.” In a very not impressed tone. I couldn't stop laughing.

Nothing happened in Brasil. My brother thinks Nic would never do anything shady. The interviewers and overall vibes of Brasil were super chill, so Luke let himself loose a bit. However Nic seemed the same, maybe a little more giggly.

NY and London premieres:

NY: They looked fine, but Luke seemed pissed for some reason. The hand moment was insane. He thinks the GF blindsided Nic and set up the videos of them hugging, because why aren’t there videos of others?

London: Nic seemed a little wary, and Luke looked downbad. Luke T and Nic either need to work together or date, or both, because they're cute. Simone is definitely a shipper. He also thinks Golda might be a shipper, but she seems to have clocked Luke’s shit and is side-eyeing, which he is too. The Deuxmoi stunt was dumb and embarrassing.

About A, R, and S:

Rory: Luke hangs onto Rory’s every word, so the GF might not be going anywhere as long as she's in the friend group. My brother hates Rory and thinks he's Luke’s constant during the hot boy summer phase. Rory wasn't seen much before that. Other Anons, is this true?

A: A is in the relationship for the perks. The Hailey Bieber cosplay is gross. My brother almost puked when I showed him the thread comparing A and HB’s outfits. A is obviously trolling the fans, which is boring.

S: He doesn’t think there’s anything nefarious going on with S, and it’s good for her that she’s going to Jack M's classes, but it’s weird that it's only happening now.

In conclusion, my brother thinks this whole thing is going to drag on for a lot longer, but that’s a huge maybe since Luke and Nic are coming back for S4. If Luke's friend group manages to infiltrate the sets, it won't matter much because everyone adores Nic and seems protective of her. A is going to stay as long as she can. Right now, my brother hates Luke and thinks he screwed up royally, even as a friend. It’s a bigger deal if there are non-platonic feelings involved. He wants to see Luke make a thank you post for S3, because that's the least he can do. Luke needs to figure his stuff out, and it seems like whenever he's on vacation, things just get worse. Basically, he needs to GET A JOB and things will sort themselves out.

Wow, that was a lot. Never thought my brother would be so mature!

Also can someone clarify if R was still such a huge part of L's life before his HBS?

Damn the 15 yo is smarter than some grown ass folk in the fandom lmao

LOVE x

[stopthatfool]

also what are some of your favourite mav headcanons? Or just thoughts about top gun in general your opinions are so correct

another one! YAAAAAAA! thank u cal i will now yap. (warning all my headcanons stick really close to canon and aren't very like.. "fun." they're more or less just crazed character analyses)

thinking about THE mav is not a twink post i made like a month ago. i saw someone call it the "twink mav discourse" and honestly it's my magnum opus. my friend took a pic of me holding up a sign that said "I started top gun tumblr discourse" it was great.

other than that, I definitely think mav has adhd. I mean that's how i write his thought processes at least. I always think of him skipping over words when reading, not due to "inattention" but just because he's eager to get to the point, or he just automatically thinks the smaller words are less important, therefore can be skipped. (I do this all the time. I'm really terrible at reading out loud because of it.) Plus the classic mav acting without thinking is straight out of the adhd diagnosis. and the "appearing to be unable to listen to or carry out instructions."

That being said, i don't think mav would ever consider himself to have adhd or even think of it as an option. I'm very much on that "mav and ice are middle aged men who were in the military during the reagan administration therefore they definitely have some questionable beliefs and understandings of the world because and the environment of which they were trained." like mav is the type of guy to be like "ok you have adhd, that's fine i guess. but I don't. what r u talking about. like sure all these symptoms apply to me but i am the outlier i don't have a disability." Same with Ice and him reading all the OCD symptoms, my guy would literally just take it as proof that he's a really good soldier and further perpetuate his own OCD habits (no, ice! don't do that same movement over and over again until it feels right! ur spiraling ice! someone help him!)

I also have lots of feelings of how Ice and Mav would/wouldn't show physical affection. like i don't think they hold hands in public and I think it's a mix of DADT, internalized homophobia, and honestly wanting to keep their relationship as private as possible (which one could argue is another effect of DADT and simply being queer and in the american military in the 80s. like how did they not kill themselves, they're stronger than me). idk this is already getting long and convoluted so i will now stop.

[ryans-planet]

This is a new blog, if you remember following me before please do so again here.

Tumblr hates trans people :/

Intro

Please read entire post BYF

(Last updated: 9/5/2024 (updated ABT ME)

Hey! I’m Ryan, new to this stuff and I mostly am here to explore my kinks in a fantasy way, reclaim some part of my sexuality and have somewhere to just dump things I want/like to do!

If ur from my main no you aren’t!!!

if you’re going to follow/follow back please follow this blog! Thank you <3

If you’re feeling kind, I’m working on relocating and any help would be greatly appreciated!!

Ca$happ:$olivetreeboy

Slight venting may occur.

Join my NSFW T4T tumblr discord?

Abt me

22

transmasc agender

On T currently, been off and on since 2020. Due to resources.

uhhh let’s say I’m queer with no interest in cis women and folk who ID as lesbian.

Gray-romantic/Aroflux

Huge huge Switch

Audhd/chronic pain

No label yet, but I’ve been told he bites so stay away. His tag is #yeehaw bc I’m down bad

White

Fat (fatphobia/chasers/feederism r blocked immediately.)

DMs open to mutuals I will also give discord too if you have it!! but I am awkward and bad at replying sometimes 😭!

Don’t come into my DMs saying sexual shit immediately. I’m a person too! And have no obligation to continue a conversation if it becomes too sexual too quickly for me. And if you’re 30+ I won’t answer you. My max age is 30 in sexual situations, unless ur trans and then idc how old you are.

If you haven’t sent an ask in a while I’ll move your emoji down to inactive. You may always reappear when you want 💕

Active Anons: 🌊,🕷️,🦇,🦊,🐸,🪷,🍃,🐶, ☕️,🦋,🗝️,🧸,🎪,

Inactive anons: 🍁, 🦌,🦁,✨,🐾,🕸️,

All posts on this blog are to be assumed mlm or T4T (includes trans women!!) unless stated otherwise.DO NOT tag my posts as wlw, or sapphic. I am a MAN. wlw are welcome to interact/follow/rb, but my stuff is by me; a man. It makes me uncomfortable for my posts to be tagged with those things.

Silly yap posts under #ryanplanetyaps Pictures under #pics of me

✨🔻Kinks+🔻✨

Enjoy in purple 💜

Favorites in pink💕

Interested in Orange 🧡(All go for receiving & giving)

Praise

Hairpulling

Biting

Choking

Edging

Overstimulation

Gun/Knife play

Breeding (only T4T/No pregnancy unless pet-play)

Wax play

Pet play

Corruption

Impact play

Force Masc

Somno

COCKWARMING 💕💕💕💕 (receiving especially)

Bondage

Intox

Anal is. Probably a no irl. Fantasy/asks r chill.

Absolute No’s

AgePlay (I’ll block you. I check almost everyone who follows/reblogs me.)

ForceFem

Nipple play (receiving)

Scat

Incest/fauxcest

Feederism

Piss

Heavy degradation

Race play (I’ll block you immediately.)

Misgendering

Heavy CNC and NonCon THIS INCLUDES RAPE PLAY. I’m fine with other cnc listed in my kinks but anything harder/extreme is a major Do FUCKING NOT.

OTHER:

Genitalia

terms to use are as follows; hole/cunt/boycunt dick/cock/tdick, Chest. Don’t use the terms tits/boobs for me (super awesome & cool if you don’t mention chest/nipples at all./srs)

Names/Titles/Compliments

that are absolutely okay are; Sir, Puppy, good boy, pretty boy, slut. Handsome. Apart from pretty boy please do not use more traditionally feminine worded compliments for me.

I have one main sexual trauma trigger, please do NOT use text emojis with /// as blush while talking to me. That’s all thank you!

DNI

Minors/ageless accounts

ED/SH blogs; have had my own issues and am in recovery.

DDLG/similar kinks

TERFS

Racists.

Fatphobes

Detrans kinks/blogs.

If you like Incest shit. I really hate it so bad, even in fantasy.

Zoophiles/p3dos

Zionists/Nazis

Chasers of any kind but especially fat and trans chasers.

Conservatives.

WLW/Sapphic only/Men DNI blogs

[lucysarah-c]

hi love! hope ur doing well 🤍🤍 i see ur requests r closed so respond to this whenever!

first of all i found ur page the other night and omg ive been obsessed i love ur work and levi is my guilty pleasure soooo how do you think he would react to reader giving him a boudoir album?

Hi hi~~ I'm doing just fine, thanks for asking! How are you, sweetie?

Oh yes! My requests are closed, but for oneshots, etc. Because writing something takes me way longer than replying to one or two asks!

I'm so glad you're enjoying my work! It means a lot to me <3 I hope I keep writing stuff that you enjoy <3

I'm not going to lie... I had to google what a boudoir album was hahaha. He will be happy? haha Maybe this is an unpopular opinion? But I think Levi is rather old-fashioned in certain topics and, like with nudes, etc., he's... he's not into it. I feel like if it's a modern AU and you send him hot pics to his phone, he doesn't trust technology to ensure they won't get leaked. And with an album, he likes it but it makes him feel unsafe haha he's scared maybe someone will find it in his household or similar... Plus, I believe Levi is a very traditional person and he will like it! But he prefers to see it in person and touch... LMAO.

My personal headcanon is that when Levi is in private, he's SUCH a touchy person. He will always have a hand on your thigh, on your lower back, or on your ass as you two lay in bed. So he prefers to have you around his arms rather than pictures, but he will be thankful!

I hope you liked this one!

Have a lovely day!

[i4bellingham]

INSTAGRAM FILES: joão felix x singer!reader

SYNOPSIS: in which you and joão slowly unveil your relationship together as you announce your new EP.

WARNING: incorrect portuguese to english translation

yourusername

❤️ 💭 ↗️ 　　　　　• •

Liked by oliviarodrigo, kaiagerber and 1,245,657 others

yourusername cooking something in the lab ⚗️

tagged: yourproducer

user1 are we having another album soon ? 👀

user2 after a year and a half the drought is finally oveeeeeeeer

user3 omg imagine if she features someone in a track with her 😣

user4 hmm, miss olivia rodrigo liked her post

user5 she literally follows y/n of course there's a possibility that she could like her posts lmao y'all reaching sometimes

oliviarodrigo 😍😍

　　　

yourusername

❤️ 💭 ↗️ 　　　　　 • •

Liked by joaofelix79, jennaortega and 2,457,097 others

yourusername after eight months of working on this EP, i am very happy to finally announce that OUT OF THE BLUE will be out in a week!! the entire song genre is something that i’ve never worked with before but it is heavily inspired by the experiences, memories and happenings that i went through this year and i am proud to say that the songs featured in this EP are my ultimate favorites in all of my creations! i hope you guys will enjoy listening to my craft as much as i enjoyed preparing it!

p.s. to my muse, to the sole reason of this EP (you know who you are) thank you so much for the support and love you have given me relentlessly. this one is for you ❤️

conangray slay miss bae 😍

madisonbeer can’t wait for the release!!! 💗

user1 wAIT A DAMN MINUTE-

user1 EP LAUNCH WITH A SOFT LAUNCH-

user1 MISS MA'AM WE MISSED AN ENTIRE CHAPTER WHAT THE FUCK

user2 this is a live broadcast of y/n stans losing their minds bcs of this ep announcement + the soft launch 😭

user3 user1 mood 😭😭

jennaortega ❤️❤️❤️

user4 joao what r u doing here fam

user5 can he not be a y/n stan like the majority of us lingering in her ig posts my god

　　　

joaofelix79

❤️ 💭 ↗️ 　　　　　• •

Liked by yourusername, enzojfernandez, chelseafc and 987,463 others

joaofelix79 an out of the blue beach trip ⛱️

user1 damn u look fine as fuck

user2 ive never wanted to be a seat so bad in my entire life

user3 that caption ???? anyone noticing something ???

user4 wait are u a y/n fan too? 😭

user3 user4 she's my wife ❤️

user5 please provide context for us uncultured people in the back

user3 user5 so basically y/n posted her new ep entitled OUT OF THE BLUE just last week and joao has been liking her ig posts and now we have his caption 🤔

user4 not only that but y/n soft launched someone in her ig feed too and then we have joao posting that middle pic holding hands with someone AND Y/N LIKED IT

enzojfernandez have fun brother!

chelseafc enjoy joaofelix79 ☺️

　

yourusername

❤️ 💭 ↗️　　　 　　 • •

Liked by jenassainte, madisonbeer and 5,675,870 others

yourusername guess we're doing this out of the blue 🤷🏻‍♀️ the last year had been absolutely memorable for me with you by my side. i can never thank the universe enough for letting our paths cross, for letting us create all the beautiful memories we have together. i love you always, my muse ❤️

tagged: joaofelix79

jennaortega you guys are so cute please 😭

masonmount the cat’s finally out of the bag!!

oliviarodrigo finding someone willing to change spots with me when they start acting all lovey-dovey 😍

chelseafc beautiful couple ❤️

joaofelix79 poderia escrever muitas páginas para dizer o quanto te amo, mas agora ambos sabemos que nenhuma palavra poderia ser suficiente para o quanto significas para mim e o quanto te amo. por causa disso, continuarei a fazê-lo mostrando-te o quanto em vez disso. tu fazes de mim o amor mais feliz, eu amo-te tanto ❤️ i could write a plenty of pages to say how much i love you but by now we both know no words could suffice to how much you mean to me and how much i love you. because of that, i will continue doing so by showing you how much instead. you make me the happiest love, i love you so much.

comments on this post have been limited.

[lukolabrainrot]

Part 3: re: New Speculation that L&N have been together since Toronto

Pattern of L’s and N’s circle of friends

“9) N and N friend group posts including JD – I will post this analysis separately of a pattern that I’m seeing. Pattern is the posts from her side coincided with posts on his side (as in they happen in a specific cluster of days). Almost as if N knows something from his side will be posted and she a) has to distract herself b) distract the fans so that whatever L posts don’t get that much of a backlash c) has to send a secret message to L that she’s doing fine and she’s still 💯 in”

I think part of her secret code to L is as long as she’s wearing her claddagh ring, she’s still in. Even if she bought the ring herself to celebrate S3 success, I doubt that she will wear it all the time if it gives her bittersweet memories – I think she wears it to hold on to loving memories from Ireland. I don’t know what L’s secret code is - I think it’s as long as he’s on lifeguard duty, he’s still in 😂

I’m sure there are loads that I missed. I kept the IG posts from N to Bridgerton unless it’s really newsworthy or quite anticipated by fans. These are just from the pap walk onwards.  I also included some posts from outside sources because of speculations that they might be coming from their team to further the goal that they are working on. Which makes me think (and this is going to be an unpopular opinion) that N may have a hand on DM posts of her and JD (me: hides behind a door).

I might really be reaching here -- deep in my delulu seeing patterns when they don’t exist – but listed out like this almost seems like there is a back and forth between their groups and what gets out publicly.

Aug 8th

L – Bridgerton press tour bloopers

N – Choose Love, political posts

A – Soho with friends

Aug 2nd 

T posts Italy recap video

Aug 1st

N – Tatcha, skin care routine (self care)

A/R/S/T/C – various photos, stories, videos from Italy trip

July 31st

BG – Italy SM posts

Jul 30th

A/R/S/T/C – various photos, stories, videos from Italy trip

PM – Italy article

Jul 29th

A/R/S/T/C – various photos, stories, videos from Italy trip

“Pap” Maria – videos of lifeguard Luke

DM – Italy story

N and friends – JR birthday

Jul 26th             

N – Dr. Who, CAA announcement

A – TT dance (Chris Brown)

DM – N/JD and L/A posts

L – unliking HBS IG posts

Jul 24th

N/LH/SMcS – IG stories of nightout; N’s new polaroid

DM – N/JD speculations; belated L/A spotted in Brighton Soho

Jul 23rd

A Fan account – posts of 20 somethings that L followed during HBS 2023

A – story, rehearsal for Lettuce dance

Jul 22nd

R/S/T/C – Brighton Soho for T’s birthday (not confirmed if L and A were there)

Jul 20th

A – Latergram LA photos

DM – 2nd pub shot with N/JD featured in DM

Jul 17th

A – story with Theo; TT dance (Apple)

Jul 16th

N – Polin team, NC last day of filming, Top 6 post

Jul 15th

A - Latergram LA photos

Jul 14th

JD/JR/LF – Football match (speculations N was there)

Other Sources - L/R/JV Football match (can’t confirm if A was there)

Jul 13th

N with Mum – Wimbledon with launch of new polaroid (L’s groomer did her hair)

L – Carla’s wedding (can’t confirm if A was there)

A – IG story of her made up face (looked like she’s going out, maybe implying she’s going to the wedding)

Jul 12th

DM – 1st pub shot with N/JD featured in DM

Jul 11th

A – Football story (with JV and R, can’t confirm if L was there)

A – TT late LA post (Good luck Babe)

Jul 9th

N – NC last day of filming, Top 8 post

Jul 6th

L – GQ Heroes dump

JD – story in N’s apartment

Jul 4th

N – BTS, entering Top 10; Independence Day Binge

A – TT late LA post (Million Dollar Baby)

Jul 3rd to 5th

R/S/Other Sources – photos and videos from GQ Heroes

Jul 1st

L – La La Land

From other sources – PR birthday, pool pics, 1st lifeguard duty

JD – People Places Things play date

Jun 28th

L – Laterals BTS

N – Shoes…more shoes release

A – TT GRWM post (Birds of a Feather)

Jun 27th

Other Sources – Galway video and photos (I don’t recall L or N reposting these in their own SM accounts)

Jun 25th

JD – hanging out in the park; N’s bag featured

Jun 24th – 30th (approx.)

L and A in LA (ugh)

A – LA hotel story

From other sources – PR birthday, pool pics

Jun 23rd

Other sources – more Loewe photos and videos, L supporting JB cause

L – Loewe IG stories

JVN – IG grid post, 6th slide “I hope you let them” – I think this is JVN message to N

Jun 22nd

N – wedding transformation

L – Loewe story teaser

Jun 21st

N/JVN – Taylor Swift with M and CW

Jun 20th

N – Wedding Dance

L – Fallon guest spot, photos and video

Jun 18th

N – wedding BTS

Jun 17th

L&N - really early in the morning GMT time, Washington Posts IG stories and posts

N – SKIMS campaign

L – L and Corey in Milan

A – Milan IG stories

Jun 16th

N – London Premiere photos; SATC TT; “Bridgertons” story

From other sources – more Milan videos and photos including at least 3 occasions with A in them

Jun 15th

L – Milan/D&G photos

N – Boob cake story (with JD, CW, and others); Tatcha post end of promo (self-care)

Jun 14th

N – TFMT table read; pre-premiere pics

Jun 13th

DM/PM pap walk photos

N – the furniture they broke

L – feel like celebrating, Men’s Health, London Premiere BV photos

.

[resowrites]

Suspicious Minds - oneshot.

Summary: Henry attempts to put a cot together…

Pairings: AU!Henry Cavill x Wife!OC

Warnings: fluff, banter/British humour, language, dialogue heavy, nondescript OC body type/appearance, hastily written/lightly proofread.

WC: 2099

A/N: Remember, this is pure fiction (as in completely made up), and not in any way meant to reflect reality. My work must not be copied, reposted, or translated elsewhere. Likes, follows, reblogs and comments are thoroughly welcome and appreciated! Gifs/pics not my own. I hope you all enjoy and thanks for visiting!

Suspicious Minds - oneshot.

The noises from the nursery were growing louder and louder. Eventually, she decided she'd have to go investigate. She pushed back the door to find Henry in the middle of the room, kneeling over a booklet of instructions. Nuts, bolts, and long planks of wood were scattered everywhere. "Good God, it sounded like a gorilla enclosure in here… I'll have to put a picture of you on the wall with all the other animals—"

"I'm trying to put this sodding cot together, okay?! The instructions are a bloody nightmare…"

"Well, can I help? Surely it can't be that difficult, it's only four sides after all."

"No, it's fine. I don't want you doing any lifting—"

"Well that's not like you…" He rolled his eyes.

"Still, I'd rather we erred on the safe side." She huffed and leaned against the wall while Henry muttered to himself. "Take a seat, I want you off your feet."

"Yes, m'lord! Shall I have a kip while I'm at it?" He locked eyes with her again.

"Why, are you feeling tired? Darling you must rest—"

"Henry I was joking! Stop being such a fusspot. And hand me those instructions or they'll have left home by the time you're finished." Henry sighed but handed her them nonetheless. "Right, first thing's first, do we have all the parts?" He cast a glance around him.

"As far as I can tell—"

"Good, now do you understand that a failure to heed the warnings and follow the assembly instructions could cause serious injury and/or death?"

"Will you just get on with it?!"

"Calm your knickers! If you want I'll wait while you go look for a hard hat…" Henry harrumphed. "Okay, so first you're gunna want to attach middle rear leg E to middle panel A1…" She looked at the pieces dotted around his feet. "Those two bits there, you'll also need three fifty-five millimetre bolts—"

"Fifty-five? That can't be right…" He grabbed the booklet from her hands.

"I think you'll find it is. And don't forget the Allen key—"

"Yes, I know that! Bloody woman pointing out the obvious…" Henry mumbled under his breath.

"What was that?"

"Nothing, love. Right, what now?" He finished tightening the last screw and awaited the next instruction.

"Okay, you need to insert three wooden dowels into those holes…" Henry looked up and eyed her suggestively. "Oh, stop it! And they need to go there, not in those ones."

"… Are you sure we aren't having sex?" She rolled her eyes.

"Right, you now need to attach slats H through four with five dowels."

"Just five?"

"Yes you gobshite, now do as you're bloody told—" He tutted.

"Fine, where do they need to be slotted?"

"Well bend over and I'll take a look—"

"Lovely, are there any more you want me to stick up there?!"

"Yeah, bars F, G, thirteen, and four need to go on the other side. Come on, shift it, I don't have all day!" Henry scrambled for the right pieces and hammered them into position. "You can also take your tank top off if you want, make things a bit more exciting…"

"I thought you weren't in the mood?"

"Well, it's hardly a turn-on having to tell you what to do—"

"Since when?! And give me that, if you can follow it it should be a piece of piss…"

"Should be but isn't." She bit back a laugh when he looked up at her annoyed.

"Christ, I don't understand any of this… why would the forty-five-millimetre bolts need to go in the back and not the longer ones?"

"Cos longer's usually better?"

"Oh just shut up and hand me six of the M6 bolts please!"

"You sure they're the right ones and not just the ones you want to use? Anyway, you're closer, I thought you didn't want me to lean down?!" Henry huffed. "Nope, those aren't the right ones…" He snapped to his feet.

"Fine! You do it Miss Smart Arse, seeing as I'm the one who apparently can't read instructions—"

"Well are you sure you're reading the English side, not the French?" Henry turned to storm off. "Whoa there Nelly, I was only joking. God, what's gotten into you? Why are you taking this so seriously?"

"Because I want to be able to do as much as I can for you both. It's bad enough I'm already forty—"

"Wait, hang on. What do you mean?" He looked down at the floor, his eyes beginning to well.

"I mean, I'll be an older dad Ollie. I won't get the same amount of time with them as you will…" She tilted her head sadly and cupped Henry's face in her hands. "Then there'll be the times I won't be here and that'll rob me of them even more."

"Oh, darling. Look… nothing in life is promised. What I do know for sure is they'll be surrounded by so much love. You're going to be a fantastic dad, Henry. There's no one else I'd rather have in your place. Well… no one I've met." They smirked at each other.

"You're right. Besides, you could always go first…" She kicked him in the shin.

"As if I'd get that lucky! Remember though, I work for myself and you also have a lot of flexibility. But either way, I'll do everything I can to make sure you get as much time with them as possible. I mean, not too much of course, that would hardly be right…" Henry smiled at her again.

"You'd really do that for me?"

"For the three of us, of course! I don't want you to miss out on them growing up either. We're a team, remember? And baby's not going to change that." He swallowed the lump in his throat.

"You make me so happy." She tutted.

"Soppy bollocks…" But they shared a kiss and Henry held her close, gazing down at the bump hitting his stomach. "I'm sorry, I was just panicking. You're showing now and it's feeling that much more real—"

"I know sweetheart, I worry about what kind of parent I'm going to be as well. But we both learned a lot from our childhoods and I'm sure we'll make the right choices." She gave him another kiss, patted his chest, and smiled. "For now though I think I’ll leave you to it, the instructions just repeat themselves for the next few pages so you should survive…" Henry gave her an anxious look.

"I'm sorry I'm not more handy, either. God, I just don't understand it… I can put a PC together but not a bloody cot!"

"Yeah, cos you're overthinking it! So long as it doesn't collapse inwardly on our child, I can't ask for anymore." He smirked and spanked her backside.

"Go on, get out of here. I'd rather go without your encouragement if that's the best you can do!" She gave Henry a wink and disappeared from the room.

***

"Knock, knock, how are you getting on?" She opened the door to find the cot almost finished. The view of their nearly complete nursery took her breath away. "Wow, I knew you could do it! And it only took the rest of the day…" He tutted as he picked up some spare screws from off the floor. "Seriously though, it looks great, how hard was it in the end?"

"Not bad actually, I mean I almost threw it out of the window at one point, but I made it work."

"Oh, I thought that was one of our neighbour's screaming 'fuck’ at the top of their lungs…" She then eyed the screws in Henry's hand. "How many of those do you have leftover exactly?"

"Not many thank you very much!"

"And they came with the cot didn’t they?"

"Well, where else would they have come from?!"

"Your head maybe?"

"Hysterical. Why don't you come and inspect my handy work if you're that concerned?!" She stepped up to the cot and jiggled several of the bars.

"Mmm, not too far apart, that's good. At least they won't get stuck." He rolled his eyes. "Not sure those drawers are plumb though…"

"What do you mean?! They're dead straight!" But she was too busy testing out one of the dropsides. As soon as she lifted it, it whooshed back into place with a sickening clank.

"Jesus Christ, that could take someone's head off!"

"Well, I followed the pissing instructions! What more can I do?!"

"Build a bloody cot, not a guillotine!" Henry sighed and referred back to the booklet.

"Ah, I see. I haven't lined up these two casings correctly…"

"Well I hope that's the extent of the snags, I'm scared to touch the sodding thing now…" He pursed his lips and before she knew it, she was quickly whipped into the cot.

"There, see! Sound as anything! If it can take you it can take any baby—"

"Henry, will you get me out of here, please?! This whole thing's gunna collapse!"

"Oh shush and go to sleep, or do you need burping?"

"HENRY!!!"

"Alright, alright." He carefully lifted her out and she thwacked his arm the minute her feet hit the ground. "Ow! What was that for?!"

"You know what for, I can't get up as easily anymore!" She pointed at her bump.

"Oh please, you struggled to do that anyway," another thwack landed on Henry's arm.

"Just for that, you're not getting the snack I bought up here."

"What do you mean? What snack?" He sighed and picked up his screwdriver when she walked off. She returned moments later, however, holding a plate piled high with thickly cut sandwiches. Henry's eyes lit up like a Christmas tree. "Other than terrorising your pregnant wife and building a death trap, you've done a wonderful job. I'm so proud of you darling and I can't thank you enough, the nursery looks amazing. I can't believe it's finished, are you excited? Before we know it we'll have a little one rolling around in there!" She pointed eagerly toward the tiny mattress.

"I know, the last few months really have flown by. It's going to be so weird having another person in the house!"

"You're telling me, you won't be the loudest, stinkiest one here anymore—" she stopped mid-sentence. "Wait a minute. Is it me, or is the whole thing on the conk?" He quickly stepped into her line of sight.

"Nah, that's just a trick of the light. Well, thanks for the sarnies, you best be getting on—"

"So it is bloody wonky?! I knew it! Did you not put the feet on?" She squatted low to examine the floor.

"Uh-uh, no you don't. Come on, get up please, you know I don't want you in that position—"

"Since when?" Henry rolled his eyes.

"Alright I confess, I haven't attached all the feet just yet as the whole thing was getting a bit heavy—"

"Well let me help--"

"No fucking fear!"

"Oh, Henry I'm not stupid!"

"Well, you could have fooled me! Remember that spice rack you tried to put up? Ten minutes afterward it crash-landed on the oven—"

"Yeah, cos you gave me shit screws - there and elsewhere!" His mouth fell open.

"Well I won't even dignify that with a response—"

"Yeah, cos you don't have one." Henry looked up at the ceiling and tried not to laugh.

"Darling, you can mouth off all you like, this is my job and I'm going to finish it. Now off you fuck."

"Well, what choice do I have…"

"Ollie, will you please just piss off?!"

"Fine! When you're done stuffing your face, come hop in the shower with me…"

"God bless those pregnancy hormones—"

"Oh please! You're just all sweaty, you'll stink up the bed later—"

"Sure. I'm thirsty as well, ya didn't by any chance happen to bring up a lager?" She smiled knowingly and handed him a tall tin can from the pocket of her jumper.

"Trust you to sniff that out. Oh and keep that Allen key handy as well, you can bleed all the radiators once you're finished."

"God, you'll work me to bloody death at this rate!"

"Henry, you've got off easy. You're not the one having to carry another person around, have them squish your organs, go into labour, give birth—"

"No, but I'm still having to hear all about it!" Her eyebrows hit the ceiling. "I'm kidding, if you're that helpless, go get all soaped up and I'll be in to scrub your back…" Henry spanked her backside once more and she walked off holding up her middle finger.

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