#all i need is the ~hobbit love~

[prismatoxic]

"chilchuck isn't a twink, he's a DILF!" now i get why you're saying that but i feel like you've maybe forgotten what chilchuck tims canonically looks like

i'm sorry but this man is a twink. also DILF isn't a body type it's a status (and technically, an opinion) so he can be both

"but he's middle-aged!" look at him. look with your eyeballs. his age has nothing to do with the fact that he Looks Like That. he's a twink. the sooner you accept this the less angry his fandom will make you

edit bc this post has become the bane of my existence:

FAQ

Q: wtf do you mean he's a dad? he looks like a kid. A: he is 29 years old, and a half-foot. half-foots are dungeon meshi's halflings, or hobbits, or whatever you want to call them.

Q: wait, if he's 29, why the fuck are you calling him middle-aged? A: half-foots have an average lifespan of 50 years. chilchuck was originally drawn with grey hairs (you can see that in the manga fullbody) but the mangaka gave up on that over time. he's middle-aged for his race.

Q: hey, doesn't that look like a little angry face on his boot in the manga drawing? A: yea kinda

[elodieunderglass]

So for some more details:

- I am fairly time-poor with a huge amount of commitments: Grownup Job Senior Promotion, three small kids on summer holidays/starting school, writing a novel fanfic for sick friend, peak growing/harvest season at allotment, etc. so im only offering “what I can actually deliver” at this time

- swan comic is a new idea, people like those don’t they? Not sure of how fundraising mechanism would work here but maybe taking prompts?

- not sure how essay would work but it’s probably my best/most appealing skill?

- material items in exchange for a minimum fixed amount. So offline I’m most known for material works. I’m not a BAD printmaker / craftworker and for this I would be looking at designing a sort of limited print run of greeting card style original hand printed prints. I know you guys aren’t familiar with this work from me, so this would involve a bit of trust that An Art from me would be worth at least £5 lmao. However it’s kind of nice to get something real in the mail right??

- super worried about fandom auction so this would be mostly a register of interest that I’d take to more experienced people and use as leverage to start an auction; I’m not in a great place to provide much actual legwork here. I also have huge guilt from like 2000-something where someone paid A HUNDRED AND LIKE 20 DOLLARS to charity for earthquake survivors and I DID NOT FINISH THE FIC AND I HAD to write to them, weepingly, apologising forever about it, and they were so graceful, they forgave me and wrote off my fandom auction contribution, but I had never watched the tv show they requested and was in the process of romancing dr glass and it all went SO wrong, this MIGHT heal my scars of shame from fandom auctions generally OR might make them worse. It itvery hard to write fic actually it’s my worst skill pls don’t pick this

Anyway

I will dance like a monkey and get sick kids out of Gaza. What would you like to see most?

[modernincorrectlotrhobbit]

[kierancaz]

I wish we got more of Legolas being weird in the movies. Like I haven’t read the books yet but I love the way the fandom describes him as being a little shit and like actually really fucking weird and I just wish we got more of that and also that it came across more in fanfics.

[misterfaggins]

Book designs for the ringbearers (in order)

[ID: two sheets of full-body character designs for Smeagol/Gollum, Bilbo, Frodo, and Sam, lined up in that order. Each of the hobbits has curly hair, large round pointed ears, and large feet covered in thick curly hair. The first sheet has a light blue and yellow background and depicts the characters before they took possession of the ring. The second, set against a black background, shows them some time after.

Smeagol is a fat, freckled white hobbit with medium length dark hair and sea green eyes. He is crouching comfortably with a smile on his face. In the second image, Gollum is bony and emaciated, his skeleton visible through his skin. He has large, bulging, luminous eyes reminiscent of a blind deep sea creature. His fingers are webbed and his mouth filled with many sharp, pointy teeth. He has thin strands of curly hair.

The first drawing of Bilbo has medium-dark skin, short, neat black hair, and brown eyes. He stands with his hands on his hips, looking impatient. He is dressed in casual clothes. The second Bilbo has long, graying hair that reaches well past his shoulders. He wears traveling clothes complete with a navy blue cloak. He smirks back at the camera.

The first image shows Frodo as a tall, white, chubby hobbit with short dark hair and brown eyes. He smiles happily, a healthy blush on his cheeks. The second Frodo has long, scraggly hair pulled into a messy ponytail. He is emaciated, too-big shirt hanging off his shoulders, with sunken eyes and heavy scarring across his chest in a circular radius from where the ring rested. He's covered in dirt and blood. He stares into the distance with a hopeless expression.

Sam is a short, tan, fat hobbit with short red hair, freckles, and brown eyes. He smiles up at Frodo. In the second image, Sam is a little thinner, skin more pallid. His hair has grown longer and unkempt and he is covered in dirt and blood. He has a slight scar where the ring rested against his chest. In both images, Frodo and Sam are holding hands. End ID]

[bitterseaproduction]

Some days you want to work hard on your little fanfic epics, spending hours detangling the lore and timeline and plans for stories crying in the night for an update, and some days you're sick off your rocker and just hacking a lung out while haze-blinking into the horizon as you halt reading someone else's fic summary mid-first sentence to hard left turn into a very blurry but detailed daydream about the dwarves thinking Bilbo died in the Battle of the Five Armies while Bilbo--unaware of a king and his company upending their own mountain in a fit of grief as he heals among the Men or Elves--ends up in an awkward Race to Mordor with a Sauron he is barely aware of alongside his own ironic Nine, made up of himself, Gandalf, Bard, Legolas, Tauriel, and a trio of dwarves (Dís, Gimli, Gimli's mom) plus an unexpected favorite cousin (Falco Chubb-Baggins) who all broke off from the first convoy of Blue Mountain immigrants to Erebor to go along and protect Bilbo.

Place bets now on how Thorin & Company hear of their burglar's survival and latest insanity (highest bids placed on the remaining Blue Mountain travelers passing along word vs a smarmy message from Thranduil), how quickly they shake off their shrouds of mourning and royal pseudo-widowhood, and where exactly on the path between Erebor and Mount Doom they manage to catch up to and dog pile an unwitting Hobbit.

[deer-with-a-stick]

if netflix makes Luo Ji non-chinese I'm going to throw myself off a fucking cliff

[dimdiamond]

AND Thorin ✨

AND THORIN YOU'LL RECEIVE

Look guys, my honest opinion is that Thorin doesn't get bullied enough by fans. Yeah yeah wandering prince carrying all the responsibility and the trauma of losing his family and home and yeah he's a kitty BUT HE'S A BASTARD TOO OK? He's a sarcastic bitch who will gossip you with Dwalin like schoolgirls at the back of the classroom. He keeps diary and sometimes puts hearts instead of dots. He would go to the mayor and spit on his face. Just read a bit of the book, guys, I know it's Bilbo's narration but he's a bastard too and bastards recognize each other and kiss on the mouth. However I want him to go retire in peace. Canon isn't real.

[brobotsbro]

when I get over my crippling self doubt and cringefail knee jerk reflex it's over for you hoes

[girlscience]

I hate getting into something that has a canon(ish) sapphic couple, but I only end up caring about one of the two women 😭😭😭

[andragoras-in-vanity]

anyway its 5am and im crying because stolas finally stood up for himself and im too broke to cosplay this

[loser-user-noaccuser]

Brb gonna track down Matt and serenade him with the LOTR soundtrack on violin

[xyrw]

The second I need to draw a house my brain explodes and this scene’s sketches are not the exception

But nevertheless I enjoy creating these backgrounds because you know, Bard animatic things

The second Procreate Dreams is available in AppStore I’m uploading there all the materials I’ve done specially for it

To be honest it’s like one of my favorite projects because it’s not like I’m doing something for work or carrier, I’m literally back to the feeling of a hobby and a bit cringy scenarios. Love them though; feeling really nostalgic

[eri-pl]

A highlight from a long reblog:

There should be an Ao3 tag for "Canon-typical level of cosmological exceptions"

[mystery-star]

Digital Art I did of Fíli back in 2020.

[edwardallenpoe]

*dark, brooding male character with a bunch of trauma and the weight of the world on their shoulders, hair dark and oily and lined with silver from stress, bearing through his situation with gritted teeth and probably not having a happy ending* me: hmmm yeah this is awesome but there's something off...

*headcanons him as a butch lesbian* me: ohhhh ffukc.... Oh ggod. I'm gona throw ufp..