#all jokes lol

[gigglesis]

In case anyone was wondering...No one snuck down my chimney to interrogate me about the cookies I hid this Christmas 😒

[knightly-bastard]

You, the #1 Lance Enjoyer, and Booshigi, the #1 Aaron Enjoyer, should fight eachother irl to determine who's the best knight. We gotta find the #1 Enjoyers for the rest of the crew too tho

If I had a nickel for everytime halonolo asked me to fight to determine the best something I'd have two nickels-

[oceanview15]

Mindy: *points at Sam* A human turtleneck, *points at Tara* a narcissistic monster, *points at Chad* and literally the dumbest person I’ve ever met.

Chad: And who am I?! Describe me now!

[homogremlin]

Who the FUCK is playing Careless FUCKING Whispers?!?

-Me, at my band rehearsal

[sirinoya]

the girls admins are fightingg

[paranormeow7]

hi its gabe I’m back what the fuck

[bereft-of-frogs]

There’s that post that’s like ‘everyone should get into a tiny niche fandom at least once’ fully agree, that was really fun -- but I would like to add that everyone should get into a fandom where their opinions run counter to major fanon because it really teaches you about sticking to your guns and trusting your interpretation of the text without having to rely on peer validation

because WHAT are people talking about sometimes

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

[beepsparks]

*waves pocket watch in your face* ooo. Oo you want to own an analog clock and name it as if you just had a kid. Ooo. You like clocks

[unsung-idiot]

way to ruin the mood

[nocek]

I watched Deadpool and Wolverine yesterday and I just had to XDDD

beware the SPOILERS! I mean not really but better to be on safe side ;)

[souvenir116]

So, someone tweeted this on f1twt:

And quotes made me lose it:

🥺🥺

[astrothii]

the whole trojan war could have been avoided if paris just. ate the apple in one comically large bite. athena, hera, and aphrodite would have been stunned into silence.

[theoldkyokodied]

Guess who has been rewatching iasip...

[white-weasel]

Funniest bit of the dnd movie is Xenk clearly being an NPC the DM introduced for lore and plot purposes who’s a competent fighter because of course he is, his reputation and backstory require it. But whoopsies the DM made him too powerful, the whole party likes him, and now they want him to come with to fight the BBEG which will completely and utterly fuck up the encounter balance

So instead of there being any actual plot reason he can’t join Xenk just says “I can’t. This is something only you can do.” And then walks off, never to interact with the party again because the DM just knows those little shits will find a way to use their OP creation against them

[shepscapades]

[dbhc flavored] Hermit a Day May: Day 31 — Ren!