#along with some parts of the fanbase

[yearnoyama]

I think we should talk about how western queer media are acknowledged as revolutionary and realistic good queer rep no matter how problematic some parts are, while asian queer media (bls and and sometimes gls) as a whole, despite their wholesome parts, will always be generalized as weird and fetishizing due to its few rotten eggs of the coop or maybe that's just me ig

[antirepurp]

feddy fatnuts white woman jumpscare real ??

[bloobydabloob]

Holy shit I love your Dirk interpretations, it's so true and I could talk about this shit forever. I feel like another part of his character that people seem to forget (along with Roxy for some reason) is that he's from the future in solitude in an apocalyptic wasteland. I just see that part of his character always removed which is disappointing because I feel like that's a pretty big part, especially regarding his themes around technology, his brother's theme of Time, his own isolation, and how he plays in the vastness of the universe and spacetime.

Art I drew related to the subject because I like to respond to asks with art.

But absolutely. I certainly understand where the lack of discussion over his isolation + upbringing comes from, considering a majority of the fanbase that I have seen builds their ideas based on their own version of postcanon. I’m not entirely sure how that would be fixed, but certainly even in the somewhat recent past I would see a lot more content regarding his upbringing both literally and symbolically. I don’t have much to add regarding the things you’ve mentioned, because they just are what they are. Dirk being confined to a singular room left to him by a father figure he never met, in a future where the only other person left on the planet is someone he cannot pursue a relationship of because of himself, with purely 3 robots to keep him companion, one being an exact replica of his own brain who is *also* trapped inside a pair of glasses, is about as literal as it gets to me.

The contrast to me involving the flooded, organic world in comparison to the little speckle of Dirk’s apartment packed with the dude and his technics is not only a representation of his isolation and entrapment within himself, but also of his lack of control. I think his obsession with & themes of control are a direct product in the case of Dirk specifically *of* this kind of upbringing. His themes of technology are also related to his themes around control. So much of his character is actually revolved around this to me like so much. Dirk is so deeply disconnected from humanity in every way and so much of his character + symbolism is based around that.

It doesn’t even have to be about the symbolism or anything though. It’s just pretty *interesting* in the literal sense that he lives in the middle of the ocean in the future. There’s not only a lot to theorise on to do with his young life there, but on how it might affect him in the way he acts for the rest of his life. The latter part is probably what I see mentioned the most by people talking about Dirk regarding this, I’m surprised I don’t see more discussion on the former too though. I really ought to actually talk more about Homestuck stuff on here. I will do it myself.

Roxy & Dirk’s relationship is largely ignored though because there is a narrative a certain demographic spreads that Dirk resented and blamed Roxy for her interest in him, and thus too many people believe that their relationship was or would continue to be an abusive one. Realistically, I believe it’s important to acknowledge that the way Roxy treated Dirk regarding his homosexuality wasn’t right while still acknowledging the obvious amount of respect and admiration Dirk had for Roxy. I mean we have a huge piece of dialogue from their post trickster mode conversations on the quest beds from Dirk purely stating how he feels about Roxy that people completely ignore somehow. I think this usually happens to characters that are women though. I know everyone says it, but it is true. Jane gets the exact same treatment of boiling her down to solely her negative aspects. The things I see completely mischaracterising both of them are horrific.

I mean how much more explicit can it get that their relationship is obviously very important to Dirk? But I digress. I think the best or I should say “most interesting” interpretations of their relationship usually come from DirkRoxy shippers actually.

I would be interested to hear about Dirk’s relation to his brother’s theme of time though. I don’t have any thoughts on this and I don’t recall ever hearing anyone talk about it before. If you or anyone else would be willing to enlighten me I’d be thrilled.

[txttletale]

and also, unrelated, what about homestuck?

i think homestuck is worth reading. however, if you do so in 2023, i also really recommend listening to homestuck made this world, a podcast where two media academics read through homestuck while contextualizing it in the context of the fan response and the development of internet cultures both in general and around media specifically. hsmtw while reading along with the hosts is imo a really good way to read homestuck because huge segments of homestuck only really make sense when understood as being in direct and ongoing and sometimes v. v. antagonistic conversation with the fanbase. it's very very interesting in that regard and i think that's the angle from which you can get the most of value out of reading homestuck in 2023.

if you do read homestuck don't read it on the website because the website is Not Very Good. download the unofficial homestuck collection instead. some people will recommend you download the slur replacement patch which edits out the slurs used in the comic--you can do that if you like, i'm not the homestuck cops, but i would strongly advise against it. an integral part of, like, what homestuck Is is imo a vivid snapshot of what the internet was like at the time--it is culturally inseparable from shit like somethingawful and people saying 'retard' to each other all the time and i think something is very strongly lost by reading homestuck with any changes that make you less sharply aware that you're reading something from 2009's internet

is homestuck good? yeah, probably. a lot of it has aged badly. it is racist and ableist and homophobic and all the other bad things the 2009-2016 era internet was. the back half and the ending kind of drag to a halt. but there's some great imagery in it, hussie's talent for character voice is genuinely incredible, and a lot of it is (in my opinion) still funny as all fuck. it's fun to experience and see how many left turns it takes and how many drastic shifts in tone and genre it pulls off. and--again, this is the primary reason i'd recommend reading it--it's a really interesting case study in the embryonic development of a reactive, in-conversation-with-online-reaction media production method

[freshxsturniolo]

THATS FRESH LOVE FOR THE FIT - chris sturniolo x femreader!

request : Can you write a fic about how all the triplets are at a fresh love merch photoshoot. Y/N is the model but then Chris starts to check y/n out and starts to get hard but doesn’t want his brothers to notice and tries to play it off but y/n does notice and does something about it….

warnings : smut, oral, self masturbation

chris could not take his eyes off of you. not that he ever usually could anyway, but seeing you standing so effortlessly gorgeous, a complete natural, in front of the camera for his OWN brand made him feel giddy.

you had wore fresh love around him a hundred times before, you had your own stash of clothes but you equally would always steal his too, but there was something about this that was different.

he had never wanted to ask you to model before, only for the fact he felt protective of you. for the most part, his fanbase was incredible, but there was no hiding some of the more hateful comments you received. he admired the way you didn't let it bother you, but there was a difference between the odd instagram post and an entire photoshoot.

but gods, he couldn't resist anymore. it started with the most previous lets trip merch drop, and the way the internet went wild for the new baby tees. they had been your idea, knowing the fanbase would love them, and they kicked themselves immediately for not asking you to model when they announced the merch drop on instagram and saw the way the comments went wild.

just me who thinks @/yourusername should have modelled that baby tee?

nah more baby tees next drop and get @/yourusername to model please

excuse me? baby tees? @/yourusername we neeeeeed some pics of you in this

so when it came down to picking models for his next fresh love drop, he had bounced on you immediately.

"are you sure?" you had said with an excited smile when he asked you, thinking he was going to simply ask you to come along. he knew you had a creative eye and would help him direct the shoots.

"of course, baby. if you feel comfortable to?" he had asked, and you had wrapped your arms around his neck.

"i would love to"

but chris underestimated just how much he would find if difficult to watch you, for the pure and simple fact you were the most beautiful girl he had seen in his whole entire life. you were stood now behind the camera, a fan was placed strategically at the side of you to blow your hair across to the side. you were bare faced, chris' favourite look on you, with some lipgloss on your lips to make them shine throughout the camera, and a sultry look upon your face. you damn well knew how to work the camera.

"gods, she looks incredible" nick said at the side of chris as he watched you, taking his phone out and snapping some photos for you on his phone. you had asked nick kindly to take some behind the scenes photos for you to look back on, and help promote the drop for chris when it was finally released.

"yeah" chris mumbled, swallowing deeply as the photographer asked you to turn more the side. you were modelling a new t-shirt and sweatpants, and the photographer had asked you to move so the side of the pants where visible, fresh love running down the side of the leg. you knew exactly what you were doing, placing your hands in the pockets and arching your back, your ass sticking out ever so slightly to create the perfect curve. he could not stop looking at you. he couldn't.

you were in your own zone, feeling more comfortable than you even thought you would. you'd done shots with the other models first to get you in the zone, having never modelled before, yet somehow when you were alone it had come so naturally to you. you knew your better angles, knew the vision chris had had for this particular launch.

so when you finally let your eyes wonder to him, you can't help the smirk that overcomes you. he's standing next to nick, who you notice is taking photos on his phone of you, with his arms crossed. his eyes dark but intensely wide as he looks over you. you wander your eyes back to the camera for just another second but you can't seem to stop yourself from looking back towards him. nicks saying something to him now, and chris all but nods, before his eyes wander to yours. you stare at each other in a moment of knowing. you were doing perfectly.

he gulps, walking forward slightly, when the photographer calls cut for a second. you snap your head straight to him, giving him a smile.

"are they okay?" you ask, putting yourself in a more relaxed position. and the photographer smiles.

"perfect, do you wanna come look?" and then he turns to chris. "chris, man, do you wanna come and look?"

you look over at your boyfriend and watch as his eyes finally divert away from you, and he gives a smile to the photographer before walking over. you smile, stepping forward towards the laptop with all your photos already automatically transferred over. when you see the first few, you let out a giggle, happy with the way in which they come out, before you feel firm hands on your hips.

you smile, turning your head to catch your boyfriends eye for just a second before he diverts back to the laptop, pulling you closer into him. a small gasp leaves your lips when you feel him, his erection hard against your back. chris gives your hips a squeeze, signalling for you to be quiet, and you let out a smirk as you look back at the photos.

“she’s a natural, chris. i can’t believe you’ve never asked her to model before”

you smile up at the photographer as chris speaks. “yeah, me either. is she done?”

you quick whip your head to chris, giving him an eye, but he ignores you as his eyes bore into the photographer.

“unless you wanted photos together,” you press your back against chris now, the top of your ass rubbing against his cock, and he lets out a small whimper. “to show the clothes are unisex? i think it would be a great selling point”

you spin around now fully in chris’ grasps, pressing your chest against his, the dark sultry look in his eyes tells you everything you need to know.

“shall we, baby?” you smile up at him, and he looks at you for a second, putting his arm around your back and pulling you closer to him, his erection now hard against your stomach, before looking towards nick.

“can’t nick do it?” he says, his throat husky.

you smirk but whip your head to nick, who looks up from his phone.

“me?! i think he meant it would sell well as a mr and mrs type situation” nick barked back, and you let out a chuckle as you look back up at chris, just in time to see him gulp. he looks to the photographer before back to you, and you tilt your head to the side.

“what’s wrong, babe?” you say, pressing yourself further into him, and he lets out a small groan before looking back to the photographer.

“can we take 5? i need to change” chris almost crocked out, and you let out a satisfied giggle as you go to step away from him. but his grip on you becomes tighter, and you only have to look down for a short second to see his current pants are doing nothing to hide his growing member. you smirk, embracing in his touch and feeling giddy at the thought of his reaction to you.

the photographer smiles and nods before looking toward you. “do you wanna take a few more single shots whilst we wait?”

but you don’t get time to answer. “no.” chris says for you. “i need to talk to her a second”

the photographer throws up his hands, before turning back to his computer. chris bends down to speak in your ear.

“start walking, and stay firmly in front of me” he whispers, and you give him a sultry smile. “and stop fucking looking at me like that, unless you’re going to do something about this little problem.”

you smirk. “little?” you say, looking down at him.

he groans, twisting your body around and pushing you forward slightly, and you can’t help but laugh as you start to walk forward. but you don’t get far before nick is on your side, his phone thrown in your direction.

“look at these” he beams, and you take the phone from him as you flick through the photos he had taken.

“oh my god” you smile, genuinely happy with what you can see, but hands are in front of you and the phone is whipped from your hand.

“chris” you squeal, turning around to look at him, but he grabs your hips and pulls you against him as he tosses the phone back in nicks direction.

“not now, nick” he says, and nick throws him a questioning glance, his eyes diverting down to chris’ hands firmly on your hips. his eyes widen slightly, but chris is pushing you forward again, aiming towards the back room where the changing rooms for the models is.

“chris” you whisper, and when you’re finally out of the clearly of others eyes, he steps to the side of you.

“i’m not having my brothers see what you do to me” he says, grabbing your hand.

you’re silent for a second as he walks into the changing rooms, pushing you inside and checking you’re alone, before he shuts the door behind you. he leans his head against the door, taking a deep breathe before he spins around to look at you.

“sorry, baby. you just - fuck - you look so good. i need a minute.”

but with your eyes firmly on the outline of his cock through his sweatpants, you pounce. your hands are on his waistband immediately, and you start to pull them down.

“what are you-“

“let me help, baby” you say, pushing him against the door and getting down on your knees.

“you don’t need to - oh fuck”

it’s too late, his sweatpants are down and your hands are palming him through his boxers, one hand hooked around the waist band as you pull those down too. his cock springs against his stomach, pre cum already covering his tip as you take him into your hands again.

“don’t need to, huh? you was just going to let this go down by itself” you say, and he looks down at you with a look you’d seen so many times before. he couldn’t resist you, he needed you. “i’ll make it quick” you joke, and you move forward as you take him whole. your soft plump lips working him immediately.

“fuck” he groans, his hands coming to your hair, taking a firm grip as you bob your head up and down. it’s been seconds and he’s already shaking, his back hitting the door as he arches his hips forward so you’re forced to take him even deeper.

“look at me” he whispers, grabbing your hair and tugging so you automatically look up at him. you can’t help but let out a chuckle, the vibrations it sends across his cock making him almost whimper. but he keeps his eyes on you, even when you twist your head to take him deeper, your tongue working across his tip every other second, something which you knew sent him crazy.

“my fucking girl” he whispers. “my beautiful fucking girl.”

and you can’t help but moan, your thighs clenching as his words sends shivers through you, right to your core. but he notices, he sees the way your eyes change and your legs get tight together and he doesn’t even think before he lets out his next words.

“touch yourself” he says, and you stop what you’re doing immediately, removing your mouth from him. his eyes widen. “fuck, sorry. you don’t have to, i don’t know what-“

but you don’t let him finish before you slid your hands down your sweatpants, feeling your own wet folds. his eyes widen again, and he’s about to say something before your mouth is on him again, taking him deep, whilst your rub your own clit.

this was the hottest thing you’d ever done.

“oh my god” he whispers, his eyes diverting from your eyes to your hand, not knowing where to look.

you can feel yourself close to the edge within seconds, the feel of his cock withering in your mouth, your fingers moving vigorously as you touch yourself, and the both of you give up looking at one other. his hands slams backwards whilst your eyes clothes, the pleasure almost unbearable for you both.

“i’m going to cum, babe” he shakes out, and you use it as a sign to take him faster, your own hand working in unison with your hand. “look at me” he says again, and so you do.

you climax before him, a whimper escaping you whilst he’s still in your mouth, but it’s that that sends him over the edge as his load enters your mouth.

you move your tongue across him just a few more times, the same way in which you move your fingers just to get the last of your high, before you slowly lick your tongue up his whole length, pulling him out of your mouth, and then you let out a smile as you swallow his cum whole.

“fuck, babe, fuck” he shakes, as you finally remove your hand from your sweatpants. you’re covered in your own juices, but as you stand up chris grabs your hand immediately, taking one look at your fingers before he puts them in his mouth, licking you clean. when he removes them, he twists your hands around and kisses the back of your hand.

“chris” you say, and he looks at you. “that was-“

“i love you” he says, not even letting you finish, and you can’t help but let out a laugh as you lean forward, pressing your lips against his.

“i love you too, goof. now get changed.” you mutter against his lips before you take a step to the side.

he chuckles before he steps forward, reaching down and pulling up boxers. you watch him as he steps towards the pile of clothes towards the back of the room, picking out the same outfit as your own and getting himself changed. when he turns around to look at you, he smiles.

“you’re insane, did you know that?” he says, and you roll your eyes jokingly as you finally turn around and open up the door.

but it’s the same time as matt was just about to open the door to come in, and you both let out a small squeal as you make each other jump.

“jesus, matt” you laugh, holding your hand to your heart.

“i thought you were having your photos taken, what are you-“

but he stops short as chris comes up behind you. there’s a silence between the three of you before matt turns on his heel.

“ew my fucking god. ew ew ew”

and you can’t help but let out a laugh.

“bro” chris begins, but matt holds up his hands and continues to walk off, his back turned on you both.

chris lets out a grumble before he holds onto your hips again, whispering in your ear.

“this is your fault.” he says, and you let out a smile as you turn your head to look at him.

“just doing my job” you say, before you skip off back in the direction of the photographer.

a few weeks later when the launch finally drops, you post a photo to your instagram of a behind the scenes photo nick took of you both. chris’ around your waist as you stand just off to the side of him, your hip pressed against his back so you can see the new t-shirts clearly, but your hand is entwined with his.

@/yourusername : proud of you always @/christophersturniolo. new fresh love out now!

comments :

HE FINALLY GOT YOU TO MODEL!!!

do i fancy chris or you more?

cutest fucking couple ever.

mattsturniolo : scared for life.

tarayummy : my king and queen.

HELP WHAT DOES MATTS COMMENT MEAN?

[twobluejeans]

HEARTBREAK ON TOUR!

charles leclerc x famous!reader

summary: in which the lavender haze has been lifted. or in which america’s it couple splits.

part 11: 1997 y/n’s version promo series masterlist

faceclaim: madison beer

ally’s radio 📻: PART 11! i’m sorry for starving y’all, hope this makes up 💀💗.

july 22, 2023

By Glamour

july 22, 2023 8:16AM

Just a few weeks ago, Charles Leclerc seemed to be shimmering with joy about his relationship with Lola Ransdell. “He’s happier than he’s been in a long time,” one insider told Us Weekly. Friends of Leclerc and Ransdell were texting a New Yorker writer who profiled Ransdell to say, off the record, that “this time, it’s real.” 

Close insiders  were reporting that the Ferrari driver and Youtuber were even planning to share Leclerc’s estate in Monaco, a house he once shared with singing scarlet ex, Y/n L/n.  In a recent youtube video, Ransdell herself told her fanbase, “I’ve just never been this happy in my life, in all aspects of my life, ever before.” 

Just weeks later, Leclerc’s and Ransdell’s relationship is over. So how did things go from sparks flying to their last kiss so quickly? Let’s hear from the sources.

Shortly after TMZ first reported the breakup, without a reason, a source had more for Entertainment Tonight. “They are both extremely busy and realized they’re not really compatible with each other,” they said.

That checks out — Leclerc had been off the road when their relationship went public, but the summer season of formula one recently kicked off a marathon in Britain, early July, leaving little time for their rendezvous between Ransdell’s own schedule. 

But immediately, Leclerc’s split looked and sounded like a bit of image rehabilitation given the multiple controversies following Ransdell. Their relationship became controversial as soon as it began, as fans were quick to note that Randell shared uncanny similarities to ex, Y/n L/n.

Left to right: Ransdell, L/n via instagram

As more insider comments poured in post-split, a narrative seemed to form that their relationship was just a low-key rebound all along.

“It was always casual,” a source told People. “It was never serious,” another told Us. And in an instantly memed quote, another insider told People, “They were never boyfriend-girlfriend or exclusive.” If you read between the lines of the reporting during their relationship, though, this doesn’t seem too far off. 

That source who told Us how much “happier” Leclerc was with Ransdell did go on to add, “It’s hard to tell if they’ll go the distance.” And another seemed to tell People that Ransdell was just Leclerc’s sidepiece while he was away from his main squeeze, the Hungary Grand Prix  itself. “He’s very focused on his job but is enjoying hanging out with Ransdell when he is off,” they said.

Sure, not all the insiders saw things that way. The source who initially confirmed their relationship to the The Sun said Leclerc and Ransdell were “madly in love” at the time. (Maybe they even said as much themselves.) Another had told Us that the couple was “moving fast,” adding, “They really enjoy each other’s company and want to spend as much time together as possible.” And even we saw the public kissing, cuddling, and late nights at Leclerc’s apartment.

Leclerc and Ransdell spotted at a beach in Malibu last week via@tmz

Nearly every source who confirmed Leclerc’s breakup added that he was just having “fun” with Ransdell. “He wasn’t ready for another serious relationship just yet,” a source told Us, after his previous split from six-year girlfriend Y/n L/n. 

Leclerc and L/n spotted at the same beach in malibu, just a year before Leclerc revisited the spot with the Australian Influencer via@tmz

Crucially, that source added that his friends weren’t surprised by the split, echoing a detail from that initial ET report. “Charles’s friends want what’s best for him and aren’t shocked that their relationship fizzled out,” the ET source said. “In fact, some of them even encouraged him to break up with her—his family included.”

So, the classic case of friends and family supporting a relationship in the moment even though they can already see the end. Take it from a “Page Six” source: “Everyone who really knows him has been saying all along that this was a fun, good-time thing that would last as long as it lasted and would be no big deal once it was done.”

 That insider went on to call the relationship “a summertime thing,” comparing it to his 2015 fling with Charlotte Siné.

Leclerc and Sine back in 2015, via @charlottesiine on instagram in now deleted posts.

To this unusually chatty and surprisingly profound insider, this wasn’t even a proper breakup. “It’s a natural evolution of a fun little thing whose moment is over,” they said.

Or, at least, whose moment is over for now. As one of People’s sources added after the split, “Who knows what could happen again.”

SEE MORE RELATED POSTS:

• Lola Ransdell seen leaving Charles Leclerc’s Home crying moments before news of breakup.

• Charles Leclerc and Lola Ransdell have unfollowed each other on instagram

• A look back at Charles Leclerc’s Relationships..so far

TWITTER, july 22

INSTAGRAM, july 22

liked by sabrinacarpenter, aarontaylorjohnson, gigihadid, and 8,829,184 others

yourinstagram good in goodbye. single & music video out 7/28. meet me behind the mall.

View all 17,828 comments

y/nserastour GIRL WHAT THE FUCK

lovinghimwasred i understood that reference ☝️

peteparkerml WHAT IS DREW STARKEY DOING HERE???

madisonbaileybabe my favs in one room omg

obxstarkey it’s just a music video 😀 it’s just a music video 😀 it’s just a music video 😀

obxscenes the devil (and kris jenner) work hard but y/n l/n works harder.

drewstarkey so much for summer love

y/nswizzle i just know this song is abt charles..

charlesleclercfan11 y/nswizzle she needs to leave him alone atp like it’s so obvious and embarrassing. she’s just so obsessed and using his name to stay relevant.

yourinstagram charlesleclercfan11 if you listened closely, you'd know my music's about my life, not a single person. but hey, i guess 'obsession' sells records, right?

madelyncline lowkey offended u didn’t chose me as your love interest

yourinstagram madelyncline dw babe you can be it in the next one 💘

libray/n yourinstagram WHAT DO U MEAN NEXT ONE???

TWITTER, july 22

INSTAGRAM, july 22

liked by landonorris, bejeweledleclerc, and 789,174 others

tmz_tv #Y/nL/n appears to have confirmed the dating rumors about her and #AaronTaylorJohnson! See video of Y/n and Aaron driving the getaway car from dior’s backstage after party to a private dinner near the singer scarlet’s manhattan apartment.

view all 137,929 comments

landonorris OH SHIT

szasbutterfly the 1997 y/n’s version promo is insane

kardashianclips I dont understand why it's a big thing ...like she's always dating somebody

kanye_ontop she wrote 10 songs that night

goatwest kanye_ontop 1. "London Love Story" 2. "Stage Lights and Tea" 3. "Theatrical Love Affair" 4. "Leading Man" 5. "Behind the Scenes" 6. "Silver Screen Across the Sea" 7. "Cinema Nights" 8. "West End Serenade" 9. "Take One" 10. "Scene Stealer"

salvatoredelrey this relationship is so 2010s coded

bellyxconrad the beginning of another beautiful song for us #your/fandoms/name

user31 maybe y/n should focus on her music and less on her love life. It's getting old 😒

TWITTER, july 22

ally's radio 📻 : HI GUYS IM BACK! sorry for the two month hiatus 💀 anywyas, SECRETS OUT ATJ IS THE NEW LOVERRR (bless up) (henry was so, so close) drew isn’t going to interfere w the story, just thought it’d be fun to throw him in there bc he’s hot😍. what do we think? also what do we think charles’s reaction is gonna be? lmk bc i’m so curious how y’all think this is gonna play out. i have an idea, but i’m welcome to others ofc.

taglist:@incoherenciass@dakotali@405rry@topaz125@sassyheroneckgiant@hevburn@itsmytimetoodream@ivegotparticulartaste@crowdedimagines @asterianax @haydee5010@scenesofobx@christinabae@magical-spit@dessxoxsworld@myareadsbooks@honethatty12@hopefulinlove@diasnohibng@gentlemonsterjennie1@hummusxx@eugene-emt-roe@taestrwbrry @perjarma @cxcewg@chimchimjiminie16@glow-ish@allywthsr @millyswife@mrsmaybank13@black-swan-blog27 @stargaryenx@lilsiz@ohthemisssery@leclerclvr

[mellowmadds]

Stressful Situations | Matt Sturniolo

Dad!Matt Sturniolo/Fem Reader

Summary: After a long stressful day the last thing Matt wants to come home to is an upset toddler.

Warnings: slight cussing, stressed reader, stressed Matt (obviously), and SMUT (if you aren’t comfortable don’t read)

Word Count: 2954

..••°°°°••.. °°••....••°°

Becoming parents has caused many ups and downs over the past three years, however you wouldn’t change anything no matter what. Today has been one of those off days where nothing seemed to be going right for you. Firstly being interrupted during your morning shower by Matt barging in to brush his teeth, you just couldn’t seem to get any privacy nowadays.

“You have to brush your teeth right now?” you asked in an annoyed tone while simultaneously rolling your eyes.

“I have a meeting in thirty minutes, you should know that” Matt says as he squeezes the almost empty bottle of toothpaste onto his toothbrush.

Deciding not to start an argument this early in the morning you push past him wrapping the towel around your body and heading into your guys shared bedroom just a couple steps away. After opening the bedroom door soon your sour mood turned upside down as you saw your three year old daughter snuggled up in the bed lightly snoring away.

“She needs to learn to sleep in her own bed” Matt laughs quietly coming up behind you as he wraps his arms around you before placing soft kisses along your neck. You nodded your head in agreement while slowly unwrapping Matt’s arms from around your waist and opening the closet to pick out something to wear for the day.

“I’m going to head out I should be back soon hopefully” Matt rambles on as he crosses his fingers hoping his meeting goes smoothly so that he can spend more time with his family at home.

Lately it has seemed as if Matt and his brothers have been working nonstop. You knew they were at the peak of their career and needed to put out content frequently so that they could continue to gain popularity but they also needed to keep their loyal fanbase happy. You were never interested in becoming a content creator yourself and wanted to keep yourself and your daughter offline as much as possible. Matt very much agreed with you that he wanted to keep that part of his life private and not share his relationship and daughter with the fans. Most of them understood but many of them disagreed and hated the idea of not knowing everything that was going on in his life.

“Mama!” You heard your daughter Eleanor shout out as she threw the blanket off of her.

“Goodmorning Ellie! Did you get a goodnight’s sleep?” You asked enthusiastically, trying to cheer yourself up. She giggled in response as you gave her a tight hug and told her you loved her.

“Where’s dada?” she asked, putting her arms up ready to give Matt a huge hug.

You explained that Matt had some work to do this morning which made your daughter extremely upset, she was the definition of a daddy’s girl. After scrambling to get dressed as Ellie cried on the bed upset because Matt wasn’t there you quickly picked her up and tried to soothe her while walking down the hall into her room.

“Mama no mama no” Ellie screamed while kicking her feet trying to free herself from your arms. If there's one thing she hated the most it was getting dressed and brushing her teeth.

“Well someone seems to be in a mood today” Nick laughed while side eyeing his niece.

“You’re not being very helpful” You sighed while trying to hold it together and not let the tears that welled up in your eyes spill down your cheeks. You knew Nick was just trying to lighten the mood a little, he was your best friend after all.

“You go get her dressed and ready for the day while I make breakfast, okay?” Nick said with a warm smile. You always knew you could count on him for help on stressful days like today. You thanked him while walking into your daughter's room and picked out a cute outfit for her to wear. After getting her undressed you wiped her tears and tried your best to comfort her. Matt was always better at these sorts of things and that really took a toll on your relationship because you constantly thought of yourself as a bad mother. After she had calmed down a bit you quickly got her dressed and brushed through her hair and put it up into two space buns with white bows to tie it all together.

“Oh my goodness look at my beautiful niece looking all stylish” Nick said while doing different funny poses trying to brighten the mood of the three year old little girl that had just walked into the kitchen. He placed down a plate of pancakes on the table while you grabbed a juice box out of the fridge and then grabbed one of your daughters colorful toddler plates and a small fork for her.

“No mama other one!” Ellie screamed pointing to the light blue plate you held in your hand. At this point you have had enough of the screams and demands coming from your toddler but you held your frustration in not wanting to let your emotions show in front of Nick. Instead you nodded your head and quickly went to grab the pink plate instead. You thank Nick for breakfast as he heads back upstairs with a pancake and cup of coffee. As you start cutting up a pancake for Ellie you hear a quiet shuffling coming upstairs and you turn around to a very disheveled Chris.

“Aren’t you also supposed to be at that morning meeting?” You asked confused because you were sure Chris was supposed to be in attendance so he could get ready for the next fresh love launch.

“Matt left without me?” Chris asked, running his hand through his hair frantically looking for his phone to call his brother.

During the phone call you quietly listened and you could tell Matt was extremely stressed out and frustrated so you already knew the rest of your day was about to be shitty. Chris threw on one of his hoodies that was laying on the couch and quickly slammed the door as he ordered an Uber outside. After Ellie was finished eating you cleaned up the dirty dishes from breakfast and walked over to the living room to put paw patrol on and took out a few toys for Ellie to play with. She jumped up and down in excitement while singing the theme song. You took this opportunity to sit down on the couch, put your headphones on and listen to music while you answered some emails for the boys knowing they will be grateful they don’t have to do that later on.

“Hey y/n you did not have to handle that missing space camp order” Nick said while walking into the kitchen. You turned once you realized he was talking to you so you took your headphones off.

“It’s no problem, just trying to help relieve your guys' work load.” You smiled as he gave you a quick hug. He was very appreciative and told you to go take a break so you gladly listened to him. After gathering your things you turned paw patrol off and picked up Ellie who had fallen asleep a few minutes prior and carefully walked to the bedroom to cuddle and catch up on some much needed sleep. While you were asleep you had no idea that Matt had come home, however Ellie did notice. Matt quietly opened his bedroom door and Ellie immediately woke up out of a sound slumber.

“Dada!” Ellie smiled as she held her arms up waiting for Matt to pick her up. He quietly shushed her, not wanting to wake you up he picked up his daughter and grabbed her stuffy and headed out of the room.

“Are you hungry? Do you want something for lunch?” Matt asked his daughter who smiled and happily agreed to having lunch with her dad. Matt quickly made the two of them sandwiches and placed them on some paper towel with a few chips.

“Don’t tell mommy we are having chips okay? It’s going to be our little secret” Matt laughed as he watched his daughter go for the chips instead of the sandwich. After finishing up their lunch Matt wiped his daughter's face that was covered in crumbs from all the chips she had and then went over to her room to grab her coloring book and a pack of crayons.

“Dada is going to take a quick shower and when I’m all done I want to see all of the pages you colored and I want you to choose one to hang on the fridge okay?” Matt told his daughter while giving her a kiss on the top of her head.

“If you need anything uncle Nick is sitting right there on the couch” Matt said while letting his brother know he was going in the shower and to keep an eye on his niece for just a few minutes. Nick brushed it off agreeing to watch her but he was just too busy editing on his computer to care. Matt rolled his eyes already frustrated but he knew he could trust his daughter to sit there and color, anything dangerous was out of reach anyways so she couldn’t get into that much trouble.

Matt got undressed as he waited for the water to turn warm. As he stepped in the shower and let the hot water trickle down his body he let out a huge sigh of relief. While he started washing his hair he tugged on his ends a little harder than usual imagining it was your hands instead of his. Just before his thoughts could go any further he heard his three year old little girl start crying hysterically from the kitchen. He quickly finished up his shower getting out drying off and stepped into a pair of boxers, however you were quicker than him because as he opened the bathroom door he saw you questioning Nick.

“Why would you watch that video knowing she was at the kitchen table coloring” You asked as Nick shrugged his shoulders still not caring because he had work he had to finish.

“I wasn’t even watching the tv it just started playing the next video” Nick said trying to defend himself. Matt walked into the kitchen to pick up his daughter and try his best to comfort her.

“Scary” Ellie cried out, pointing to the tv which displayed the newest Sam and Colby video.

“All I asked was for you to watch her for a few minutes, that's it” Matt looked extremely frustrated and fed up.

“We all have shit we have to get done Matt, not just you. Maybe you should edit and upload today's video instead” Nick told him while grabbing his laptop and heading upstairs.

You turned to Matt and told him he didn’t have to start an argument with his brother over this because it wasn’t worth it. Matt couldn’t care less though as he walked into Ellie's bedroom and quietly tried comforting her by rubbing her back and gently bouncing her up and down while whispering sweet nothings into her ear. Instead of helping Matt you walked upstairs to apologize to Nick. He had told you many many times that you had nothing to apologize for as he hugged you because he could tell how stressed out you were and did not want to make that feeling any worse. The night continued on and thankfully nothing else bad had happened. The sky grew darker and finally everyone had settled into bed Ellie in between both of you snuggling her stuffy as she watched Bluey on the tv. After about an hour she had finally fallen asleep and Matt gently picked her up and walked her over to her own room to tuck her into bed. Thankfully she stayed asleep giving you some time to spend with Matt which was desperately needed. Matt climbed back into the bed pulling you into his chest and kissing the top of your head.

“I’m sorry I’ve been kind of an asshole lately” Matt said out of the blue which made you pick your head up and gently tangle your hands in his hair as you gave him a light sweet kiss.

“You don’t have to apologize, I understand everyone gets stressed out sometimes” You replied before Matt surprisingly flipped you over so now you were laying on your back and he settled between your legs as he propped himself up using his forearms.

“Can I make it up to you?” Matt asked while twirling a piece of your hair with one of his fingers. You looked over towards the clock on your nightstand and it read 9:48pm Nick and Chris were definitely still awake.

“You can be quiet for me, I know you can angel” Matt says, making you nod in agreement. He gently takes one of his hands and grabs your chin while leaning in, giving you a passionate but rough kiss. You knew he had been stressed out recently so you had no idea what to expect from him tonight. His grip on your chin tightens as he turns your head to the side so he could move down to kiss your neck.

“Please no teasing Matt plea-” He quickly interrupts by shushing you then giving you a kiss before sitting up and quickly hooking his fingertips under the waistband of your pajama shorts.

“Are you not wearing any panties?” He asked, smirking as you covered your face in embarrassment. He quickly pulled your shorts down with one swift movement and threw them to the floor. He then quickly pulled down his boxers and kicked them to the floor. Not wanting to waste any more time you pulled him back down so that he was laying directly on top of you.

“Slow down, let me take care of you” He said before trailing his hand down to you rubbing your sensitive bud in slow circles before gently sliding his middle and ring finger inside of you.

“Matt please hurry, I don’t want her waking up right now” You whined as he finally gave in, taking his fingers out and holding them up to your mouth before slowly pushing them past your lips demanding you to suck on them.

“Good girl” He praised as he took his fingers out and used the same hand to grab your chin again while kissing you roughly. You felt his weight shift on top of you as his other hand went down to line himself up and gently push into you. He then let go of your chin and hooked both of his arms under yours and gently held his hands behind your head tangling his fingers in your hair. As he fully pushed inside of you, staying still for a moment so you could adjust, you wrapped your legs around his waist and firmly gripped his shoulders.

“You can move now” You softly moaned as you felt him slowly thrust his hips deeper into you. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders slightly scratching his back knowing that your nails were going to leave red scratch marks all over Matt’s back and that his shoulders were going to have crescent moon indents from you digging your fingernails deep into his shoulder blades. You felt Matt’s body weight shift again but this time was different as you watched his forearms give out making him collapse into you before he hid his face in your neck while he let out soft little moans.

“Not going to last long I’m so sorry baby” He slowly whimpered in your ear. You couldn’t care less because you were enjoying yourself a little too much listening to him whimper and losing all the control he had over you before.

“It’s okay babe you can cum, please cum for me right now” you tightened your legs around him even more than they were and that's all it took for him. You ran your hand through his hair as you talked him through it while letting him ride out his high. After those last few slow thrusts he pulls out and you try to get him to face you instead of digging his head into the crook of your neck. He doesn’t give in though and that's when you notice the quiet sniffles.

“Matt, baby are you okay?” You asked, slightly pushing him off of you so you could sit up properly. He turns over to lay onto his back and uses his elbows to hide his face.

“I’m so sorry I couldn’t help it, I have just been so stressed out lately. I’m sorry if I ruined your night” He said, barely loud enough for you to hear. You quickly got up grabbing a new pair of pajamas for both of you to wear before wrapping a towel around yourself so you could head to the bathroom. You quickly and quietly got yourself cleaned up and dressed before grabbing a face cloth and soaking it in cold water. You quickly went back to the bedroom with it, sat back down on the bed and gently wiped Matt’s tears away before cleaning the rest of him up and handing him a new clean pair of boxers.

“You don’t have to apologize, I loved every second of it and I love you” You said gently kissing him before throwing the facecloth in with the dirty laundry. You climbed back into bed and pulled him in so that his head was laying on your chest so that you could play with his hair as he carefully fell asleep after his long stressful day.

[nathaslosthershit]

Team USA (AA23)

(Part of the Blind Items Series [can be read on its own])

Summary: Blind items is back with a new victim, Alex Albon and his American Mclaren race engineer of a girlfriend. With the news comes a very interesting Team Torque episode.

Logan laughed when he saw the tweet. He had been making fun of Alex for his newfound patriotism. Since Alex had started having feelings for this girl, he had been asking Logan for help trying to ‘woo’ her, as if Logan hasn’t actually lived in the US since he was twelve. But his teammate helped him, happy that Alex was not teasing him about America anymore. 

Team Torque:

“Hello everyone, this is Team Torque with Alex and Logan. We are here with our very own special guest! She is a race engineer for McLaren”

“And you girlfriend.” Logan quickly adds.

“And my girlfriend. Thanks for the help Logan.” Alex says, sarcastically. “As usual, this podcast is a mess and will probably not be getting better so apologies for that.”

“We aren’t the best hosts.” Logan adds.

“No we are not. Moving on, would you like to introduce yourself?” Alex asks.

“Yes! Thank you boys. As they said, I am a race engineer for Mclaren.”

“And my girlfriend.” Alex interrupts, copying Logan's previous remark.

“And Alex’s girlfriend.”

“And a fellow American.” Logan adds. 

“Would you boys like to introduce me instead? You seem to be so enthusiastic about it.” She jokes.

Alex had been begging for a while to have her on Team Torque. The team had said if they wanted a race engineer they should have one of their own but both him and Logan were insistent that she join them. After the rumors came out, Williams decided it was best if they brought her to gain control of the narrative again. It helped that she was already well loved by the Williams crew. While she would never help them, as that would be traitorous to her beloved team, she had made friends with a few of the other engineers and had jokingly been offered a job by James Vowles a few times. 

“Sorry honey, we are just excited.” Alex said.

“Yeah! Team America back together.” Logan enthusiastically added. The two had become close since they met, giving Alex a taste of his own medicine by making fun of his ‘Britishness’. He wasn’t too happy at their joint effort to make fun of him but he supposed that it was a good thing they got along so well. 

“Anyway, go on, say a bit about yourself.”

“Okay, as mentioned I am from the US. I was born and raised in New York.”

“Yuck” Logan teased.

“Don’t even start Florida man. I worked for Arrow McLaren’s IndyCar team in the same position, shoutout to my IndyCar family, I love you all lots. Then eventually Zak Brown asked me to come to F1 and I happily joined. Through working for them I met Lando who introduced me to Alex and a few years later we now both live in Monaco together.”

“How was the switch to F1 from IndyCar?” Logan asked.

“Rough at first. IndyCar has a much different sort of atmosphere than Formula 1 as well as fanbase. Plus moving out of the US for the first time was difficult. But it has also been such an amazing opportunity that I can’t complain too much. I am so happy where I am now.” Alex hadn’t known her when she had first gotten to Formula 1 but he had heard stories about how difficult it was. She had shared a lot with him but he also knew it was hard as he hadn't had to do the same. His experiences being a Thai and British driver had helped him understand some, but women were still such a rarity in F1, even if they preached gender equality in the sport, they didn't actually do as much as they could to make it a safe space for women to work. He also realized why she and Logan got along so well. Even if they hadn’t grown up close to each other, their shared identity of being an American in a primarily European sport had brought them together. 

The interviewing portion stopped after there, as Alex and Logan were terrible interviewers, but the conversations were still entertaining and it had become viral once it was uploaded. Viewers were excited to see Alex and his girlfriend, as well as Team USA.

mclaren

mclaren  williamsracing we will keep her if you don’t mind 

alex_albon Idk you might want to keep an eye on her

williamsracing may the best team win ;)

logansargeant Team USA can't be stopped

[wilyserpentofeden]

In light of the continuing allegations against Neil Gaiman I want to be sure people know I believe the women who are coming forward, and I am disappointed in him but somehow not surprised wrt all the other famous men who have done the same. I'm not sure how I'll proceed with this blog in the future, but I have absolutely no interest in defending or financially supporting a sex pest and I want to make sure that is crystal clear. Some additional points that have been bugging me:

Terfs cannot keep tying the allegations to his support of trans rights as some sort of 'gotcha' to frame trans rights or trans people in a negative light, he is a cisgender man who abused his wide influence due to fame, which there are many cases of. The vitriol should be aimed at other cisgender men abusing their wide influence, and those who perpetuate rape culture. Preaching to the choir here because terfs won't listen to me but whatever.

additionally, my fellow trans ppl need to consider that even transphobes can be victims of SA, and allegations against a fully cisgender man who happens to have pro-trans politics doesn't mean any allegation is a transphobic conspiracy, it might just mean someone with bad politics was legitimately assaulted, and that's still bad because literally nobody should be assaulted. (Edit: the story got twisted somewhere along the line and it seems that there was just a TERF involved in reporting the story, and it is not even certain what the politics of the women who were assaulted were, in which case my point still stands, literally nobody should be assaulted and it is not an anti trans conspiracy if someone even vaguely adjacent to TERF-dom experienced assault.)

and finally, other Good Omens fans cannot keep making excuses for him based on technicalities simply to keep their conscience clean or to keep a parasocial relationship in tact because even the most innocent sounding and vaguely legal versions of the story that people are passing around are still markers of incredibly shitty and creepy behavior on his part and he should be held responsible for being shitty and creepy rather than have his fanbase make excuses for a grown ass man. He is in his 60s and he is very famous, he does not need you to defend him for horrible things he has done, and you do not need to parasocially hold on to him. Remember this when he inevitably returns to Tumblr and tries to proceed as normal once he assumes the allegations have been forgotten.

[secretsecretbunny]

idk if you do drabble requests but I love your writing so much! you really have a way with words so i was wondering if maybe you'd do a drabble about new!idol fem reader (can be solo or group w/e) who really looks up to and admires BTS and they meet her before watching her perform for the first time? also maybe there's some flirting? (idc which members I'm ot7) just one of my lil day dreams I wanna get out there 🥺 anyway! keep writing, you're genuinely really good 🫶🏻

I do now!! This sounded too cute to pass up 💕

Title: "Run."

Genre: drabble, one-shot, casual??? fluff??? idk how to describe this one lmao. I hope you enjoy!

Notes: y/s/n = "your stage name". Things that are underlined are links to the outfits described.

Your nerves had you literally shaking with anticipation as you waited behind the scenes of the show. So many incredible talents were performing today and here you were, an unknown newbie who was about to take the stage in front of a live audience. Why did they even want you to debut at this big of an event in the first place? Your manager reassured you it was because they believed in your talent and knew that taking a chance on you and letting your first performance be somewhere as prestigious as this would draw in fans, who would appreciate the unique sound you bring to the table. In particular, if the responses of other idols who are more famous and well-known were captured on camera and shared with their fanbase through broadcasts or similar media channels.

The way they styled you had you feeling nervous as well, with a form-fitting pink mini skirt that hugged your curves and a white button up top that was tucked in with a black and pink tie, adding a touch of elegance to your look. The cropped black blazer and black gogo boots with heels made you feel like you were going to fall at any moment, but the white leather garter with a chain on one of your thighs added a bold touch to your outfit. You felt a little exposed but you took a moment to be silently appreciative of the safety shorts you wore beneath your skirt.

You had always dreamed of being part of a group, working together towards a common goal. That's why you were initially brought on as a trainee for the company in the first place. However, after careful consideration and evaluation of your skills and strengths, it was ultimately decided that your talents would be best utilized flying solo. But you deeply wished you had people to lean on, members who could offer support and distract from your potential mistakes. You tugged at your skirt awkwardly as you stood around waiting for your time to perform. You still had nearly 30 minutes but you were too nervous to sit, instead you opted for watching the screen positioned on the wall, showing the current performers on stage.

You smiled at the screen at the talent being shown. BTS. You had a deep admiration for the group and enjoyed watching them perform their song DNA. The members exuded confidence and comfort on stage, making it seem like they never worried about mistakes at this point in their career. You watched as they moved fluidly across the stage, perfectly in sync with one another. 

A close up of Jimin had you grinning like an idiot. God he was pretty. Fuck, they all were. Hoseok with his vibrant smile, Namjoon with his unique features and buff build, Yoongi and his piercing eyes, Taehyung sporting the flirtiest looks you had ever seen, Jungkook somehow looking both innocent and dangerously delicious, and Jin with his world wide handsome face. And even more than their looks, they were so incredibly talented and hardworking.

You had heard the detailed story of how they rose to the top, overcoming numerous challenges and obstacles along the way. Their journey was filled with both good and bad experiences, but through it all, they showed great dedication and strength. And here you were, you hadn't even had your first performance yet and you had been ready to give up multiple times just during your 4 years of being a trainee. Working for the same label as the musicians who inspired you to pursue music in the first place left you feeling both grateful and slightly out of place, as if you hadn't earned your spot there yet.

You completely dismissed those thoughts and made your way towards the snack and beverage area, specifically designated for idols and staff members. You were in dire need of water and something sweet to give you an energy boost. As the boys finished their performance, the booming cheers from the crowd echoed through the air. You froze in surprise when you heard the seven of them laughing and panting out of breath as they entered the same room you were in. You attempted to seem nonchalant as they eagerly grabbed water bottles and snacks for themselves, while you discreetly tucked your hair behind your ear and reached for a water bottle too, all the while listening intently as Jungkook and Hoseok laughed uncontrollably about some unknown joke or incident.

In their fit of laughter Jungkook backed up into you, making you stumble back a bit. He whipped around suddenly "shit, sorry!" he apologized with a small bow. "Kookie you've gotta be more careful!" came a voice from behind you. The voice placed a hand on your shoulder. "You okay?" As you turned your head, you caught sight of Jimin with a gentle smile on his face. You quickly nodded in response, your eyes wide, causing him to let out a soft chuckle. "Hey! We making new friends?" Came Hoseok's voice as he reached his hand out to you. "I'm Hoseok. Or Hobi, J-Hope, whatever's fine." he said. His signature smile was contagious, spreading warmth to the pit of your stomach as he spoke. You took his hand lightly, stifling a giggle. "I uh, I know who you are. I'm y/n. Or y/s/n. Whatever's fine." You mimicked with a warm smile. He laughed. "Nice to meet you, y/n!" His hand was warm, and making your head swim, prompting you to let go.

"Wait, y/s/n?" Yoongi asked, stepping into the conversation. "The new girl? You're debuting today, right?" As you glanced in his direction, your nervousness was evident in the rapid nodding of your head. "Mhmm! In uh.." you checked the time on your phone. "shit.. 15 minutes actually." You said, taking a shaky breath in. "Nervous?" came Taehyung's voice from behind Yoongi.

You were now the center of attention for the seven boys, who were anxiously anticipating your next words. "Incredibly so.." you replied, making them all smile at you. "Hey I'm sure you're going to do great!" Namjoon chimed in "yeah, you're going to sound amazing!" Said Jin. They all nodded as you laughed

"you guys have never even heard me sing, how would you know?" You asked with a playful lilt in your voice. "Well, you're beautiful, so I'm sure your voice matches." God. Jimin was just as flirty as people described him, with a playful smile and a wink that could light up the room. You rolled your eyes with a laugh. "Smooth, pretty boy." You chuckled out, making him smirk. Jungkook looked you up and down for a moment "Your outfit looks great, your stylists did an amazing job." You took a moment to examine your outfit, making sure every piece was in its place and smoothing out any wrinkles on your skirt.

"Thanks, I actually had to beg them to add black into the theme. They originally wanted me in all pink and white and that's just... really not my vibe." This had Hoseok raising a brow. "What's not your vibe? ...sweet and innocent?" He asked with a smirk and the tilt of his head.

For just an instant, your eyes flickered with something that looked almost like mischief before settling back into their usual serenity; however fleeting this transformation may have been, its impact left ripples. Luckily you were saved by staff running up to you. "Y/n you have 10 minutes! Please come get your hair and makeup touched up!" The girl sounded almost panicked. You gave her a sweet smile. "Be right there!" You said, putting your sweet and shy persona back on. "I should run. Thanks for the pep talk, boys!" you said with a small bow. "You got this!" Namjoon said as you turned to leave. Jin's voice stopped you "would it make you more or less nervous if we said we'll be watching?" You paused for a moment in thought. "Hmm, well, I think I'd be more motivated not to fall on my ass if I knew THE Bangtan was watching my every move." This made them smirk. "We'll have our eyes glued to you then." Hoseok said with a subtle wink, his voice low. "You better." You replied amorously as you walked away.

With you fully out of earshot now, the boys spoke. "she's cute as hell."  Jungkook said. "Hm, she acts cute, but I think she's a little darker than that." Hoseok laughed. "Her and Jimin have the same vibes" Taehyung said playfully. "Oh, so I'm cute AND sexy? Thanks Taetae." Jimin retorted playfully, making the man roll his eyes. "Alright guys keep it in your pants." Yoongi commented. "Right, let's just go watch her performance like we promised, yeah?" Namjoon stated as they headed towards the changing room to switch outfits before returning to the audience.

As you stepped onto the stage, your nerves seemed to vanish into thin air as you effortlessly slipped into your performance persona. The song you performed was sultry, sassy, and sensual. Your manager referred to it as 'the triple S.' You found that you fell into the role easier than you thought you would since you discovered that with how bright the stage's colorful lights were, you could barely even see the crowd, but you could feel their energy and passion.

As your performance was coming to a close, one of your backup dancers suddenly fell near your feet. Despite knowing you needed to continue with the choreography, it felt wrong to simply step around her and ignore her situation. So, you decided to help her up while still singing and dancing, offering a reassuring smile and squeezing her hand gently when she looked panicked. She quickly fell back into the routine and the rest of the performance went on without another issue. 

As soon as you left the stage, you were immediately ushered off to change into more appropriate clothing for sitting in the audience with the other idols who either weren't performing or had already finished their performances. A simple long black dress with two high slits on either side, though you still wore a leather garter with a chain, this time in black though. Your seat was just a row behind the bts boys, you gave a small bow and a smile as you passed them. Once you sat down, Hoseok, Jimin, and Jungkook all turned around to give you a thumbs up or small claps, telling you that you had done a good job. Despite your best efforts you couldn't fight the bright smile that took over your features.

No more than 2 hours later you were at the after party being reprimanded by your manager for stopping mid performance to help your backup dancer. "You know you're supposed to keep going in instances like that!" She barked out. "I technically did keep going! I wasn't just going to ignore her while she was struggling!" You spat back with an eye roll, arms crossed over your chest. She let out a deep sigh, her shoulders sagging in resignation.

However, before she could continue with whatever she was going to say, you abruptly turned and started walking away from her. Unfortunately for you though, your hasty retreat led you straight into the path of an oncoming person - or more specifically, their chest - resulting in a jarring impact that sent you stumbling backward several steps. "fuck! I mean, augh... sorry!" you bowed. "We're just always bumping into each other, huh? Now we're even." you looked up to see Jungkook with a couple of the boys not far behind. You let out a small laugh "I guess we are." as Hoseok walked up, he peeked around you for a moment, eyeing your manager as she huffed and stomped away.

"You get in trouble for something?" he asked. You nodded with another eye roll. "She's upset that I stopped to help my backup dancer when she fell." His eyebrows furrowed "she's mad at you for being a kind a decent human being?" You smiled "that's one way to put it I suppose." you replied. Jimin, hearing the conversation being had, pouted "I thought it made you look cool and likeable!" he said with a tilt of his head. You anxiously fiddled with your fingers, feeling a bit nervous. "Thanks guys, I appreciate it. I really hope it didn't ruin the performance." Hoseok shook his head. "Not at all! You were amazing up there!" Jungkook and Jimin nodded, agreeing. "Let me get you something to drink to get your mind off it, yeah?" He added. You smiled "sure, that'd be great."

As Jimin and Jungkook started mingling with the crowd, you and Hoseok headed towards the bar, located at the distant end of the room. The venue had arranged for an assortment of drinks to be served, and the bartender was busy filling orders.

He ordered you your drink of choice and something for himself as well. You two engaged in a casual conversation for nearly half an hour, exploring various topics and discovering shared interests such as music, movies, and hobbies. The ice in your second round of drinks had mostly melted, indicating they were nearing completion when he posed the question "you wanna get out of here?"

Halting your speech mid-sentence, you turned to face him with an inquiring gaze before your expression shifted into a sly grin that showed your true intentions. "Absolutely." You responded. He grinned widely as he grabbed your hand, his grip firm and confident, leading you towards the exit with purpose.

As you walked, he waved goodbye to his members, a gesture that seemed almost automatic. You spotted your manager heading towards you, her expression written in annoyance, causing your heart to race in anticipation. You gave Hoseok's hand a stern warning squeeze as your manager approached, making him raise an eyebrow at you in confusion. However, the mischievous grin spreading across your features told him everything he needed to know - you had no intention of being deterred by anyone.

"Run."

You said before pulling him into a dash towards the exit. You both burst into a fit of laughter as you rapidly made your way out of the building, the sound of your hurried footsteps on the hard floor growing fainter with each passing second until you were no longer in sight.

Tonight might be fun after all, you decided.

aaaa okay how was that? Thoughts? Critiques? Requests? Let me know what's up. Love you!! 🩷

[copajay]

how to write a love song

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

masterlist

taro has been heavy on my mind for the last 24 hours and i’ve always wanted to write a fake dating fic so here we are

summary: you have been a solo idol under SM for years now. unfortunately, you’ve seen a decline in your popularity in the last year. sm’s newest boy group, riize, on the other hand, is blowing up in korea and overseas. in an attempt to generate buzz around your upcoming album, your company sets you up in a PR relationship with riize’s shotaro. (not proofread)

date: 04/07/24

scenario themes: fake dating, idol!au, lowkey grumpy x sunshine lmao

idol: osaki shotaro of riize

concept: fluff, angst-ish

warnings: swearing

word count: 5.3k

"fucking hell." you curse to yourself, alone in your private studio. you were looking at the sales for your last mini album. this was the lowest number you've seen since your debut. flopping onto a chair, you opened up youtube to check your streams, then spotify, then naver, and so on and so forth.

you were beginning to become obsessive, looking to numbers for validation. you put your phone down, sighing. looking up at the wall in front of you, you were greeted with your debut poster.

you were so young, so passionate. you didn't care about streams or sales, you just wanted to share your art with the world. feeling a bit ungrateful, you began to gaslight yourself into feeling better: it's not like the figures were that low, and many artists would kill to have half of what you're complaining about.

it didn't work. you felt even more like shit. somewhere along the way you fell in love with stardom. you became used to high-end brand endorsements, sold-out stadiums, and paparazzi everywhere you go. life has changed a lot for you in the last year.

you got so caught up in everything that you haven't been able to produce as much music. and if you're being honest, the only music you have put out hasn't exactly been your best work.

you initially stood out since you were an idol who didn't dance or put on flashy performances but instead wrote and composed captivating songs with meaningful lyrics. this attracted the attention of a nation, and later on, you developed a global fanbase. a fanbase that is currently fighting for their lives to defend your shitty mini-album.

somewhere along the way, you lost your spark. your lyrics which used to be about raw emotion and life experiences now seemed out of touch and cliche. your instrumentals had so much care poured into them, with most of them containing your own playing of the guitar, piano, drums, and more. now, they were created electronically for the most part by multiple big-shot producers.

you followed the formula for success, so why weren't you reaping the benefits?

your phone screen lit up, notifying you of an email sent by your manager:

RE: Staff Meeting

Y/N,

The numbers aren't looking too good. We need another drop, and soon. We’re having a meeting and you can show us what you came up with so far. We brought in the PR team and they're going to share some ideas with us. The meeting's at 6, don't be late.

you glanced over at the clock. it was 4:44 p.m., which means you still have an hour and 16 minutes to come up with something to show your team.

no matter how hard you tried, you just couldn't come up with anything. it used to come so easy to you. your love songs in particular were always so easy to write, and guaranteed hits at that.

unfortunately for you, being in love is nearly impossible when you're a full-time idol. between hectic schedules and invasive fans, you can't find the time or place to catch feelings for someone.

before you knew it, it was 5:50 and all you had done was mope about how hard it is to make music. packing your belongings, you headed out of the studio and made your way to the SM company building.

once seated at the meeting, you were greeted by your manager and the PR professionals he invited. "so, y/n. we're looking forward to hearing about any progress you might have made for the album." your manager encouraged, smiling at you.

"i... don't have anything," you admitted. the room was dead silent and you were holding yourself back from cringing at your own words. "I was hoping we could maybe just look at a couple of demos?"

"y/n, that's what we did last time, and it clearly isn't appealing to the fans. they want your music. we need the finished album from you by next month." your manager stressed.

"i know, i know. i'm working on it." you muttered. clearing his throat, your manager looked to the PR team, "since there's no new music for us to listen to, i guess you guys can take it from here."

"right, thank you." an unnamed woman in glasses began, "we were thinking of creating a fabricated relationship between miss l/n and another idol here at SM. his group is having a comeback around the same time you are."

you were about to protest before she cut you off, "the relationship doesn't have to go on for long, just until you release new music. it'll generate buzz and people will be more likely to tune in if they think your songs are about him. just consider it." she pleaded.

"who is it?" you questioned, still apprehensive. "shotaro from riize. the group is still recovering after a member of theirs has gone on hiatus following a scandal free seunghan until it's backwards. the two of you are close in age and he's been an idol for a few years now so he's perfect." she persuaded. you saw your manager nod in agreement in the corner of your eye.

"isn't dating as an idol a scandal in itself?" you argued. "yes, but you would generate more good exposure than bad. fans online have been talking about how good of a couple you would make for a while now." your manager butted in.

great. so you're not only going to get death threats from delusional fans but also affirm crazed shippers' beliefs. as badly as you wanted out, you really did need more attention on you as you were preparing to come back. besides, any publicity is good publicity, right?

"fine." you agreed begrudgingly. "wonderful! shotaro has also agreed, we'll have another meeting tomorrow at 10 a.m. with the two of you to go over everything." the lady exclaimed, clasping her hands together excitedly.

smiling politely, you excused yourself and left the room. your manager rushed after you, stopping you from leaving the building. "y/n, listen. I know this is all probably really uncomfortable, but I think it'll be good for you." he insisted.

good for streams, maybe. "i'll be fine. it's only a month, right?" you smiled. "right." he affirmed, patting you on the back before walking in the opposite direction.

once he was out of sight your smile immediately dropped. you made your way out the doors of the building preparing yourself for the lonely commute home.

despite being surrounded by fans and paparazzi constantly, you felt pretty lonely most of your days. you rarely had time to see your friends and family, and you didn't have any group members to share the burden of loneliness with.

making your way to the parking lot, you bumped into an energetic figure, causing your keys to drop. the two of you bent down at the same time and your heads collided. stepping back, you looked up at the stranger that had just made your already shit day even shittier.

he picked up your keys first before standing straight and looking back at you. laughing, he handed them over to you, apologizing for the inconvenience.

to your surprise, it was shotaro. the man you had to act like you were in love starting tomorrow. he had incredibly soft features and the brownest, biggest eyes that you could get lost in forever.

"hey, I recognize you!" he chirped, "I was told you would be at the meeting tomorrow for..." he trailed off, the air between you suddenly awkward.

"yeah." you added dryly. "well it was nice meeting you." you pushed past him. "nice meeting you as well!" he called out, enthusiastically waving.

he's so sweet it's sickening.

maybe you're being a bit of a bitch, but your life feels like it's falling apart. stepping into your car, you took a moment to breathe before starting it and heading home.

the next morning, you wanted nothing more than to rot in bed, but your annoyingly loud alarm reminded you of your impending meeting with shotaro. you didn't see the harm in getting a few more minutes of beauty sleep so you hit the snooze button and drifted back off.

unfortunately, those few minutes turned into an hour, and the next thing you know, you had twenty minutes until your meeting. panicking, you rush to wash your face and get dressed, sprinting down the stairs of your apartment.

once you're seated in the car, you're greeted with a blaring sign: empty tank. just your luck. you have under 10 minutes to get to the SM building and it's a twenty-minute walk from your place.

you checked the bus schedules frantically but none of them seemed to come in time. mentally cursing yourself, you began running in the direction of the company building.

there was no way you were going to make it in time. but this was better than nothing. after about 5 minutes of sprinting like your life depended on it, you saw a familiar face in a car waiting at a stoplight: shotaro.

you don't know how you managed to bump into him yet again but you couldn't really afford to care at this moment. knocking on the window lightly, you saw him look at you shocked.

he rolled down his window, "are you okay?" he asked, slightly freaked out. "i'm so sorry i promise i'll explain but could you please let me in because the light is about to turn green." you begged.

he stared at you shocked for a few seconds before you practically yelled at him to let you in. unlocking the doors, he watched you jump in. he definitely thought you were crazy.

and you couldn't blame him either. looking in the window, you saw your reflection for the first time since you left home: sweat beading on your forehead from running and your hair frizzy and half out of your bun.

while putting together your appearance as best as you could, he coughed loudly, "you said you were going to explain...?" he cautioned.

"right. I slept through my alarm, my car ran out of gas, and I was planning on booking it for the interview since there were no buses available either. oh, and sorry again for scaring you." you rattled on.

you expected him to react like most people if put in this situation: slightly annoyed but accepting of the situation.

he simply laughed. "well then I'm glad you ran into me!" he cheered with a genuine smile on his face. what the hell was his problem?

you knew idols would put on cheery, cute personas for the camera, but you never met someone so honestly enthusiastic. you would be lying if you said it wasn't refreshing, but it felt too good to be true.

you arrived at the building within a matter of minutes. "thank you, once again." you turned to shotaro once the two of you reached the elevator. "no worries." he smiled.

you’d be lying if you said he wasn’t extremely handsome, and his kind demeanor made him even more attractive.

you caught yourself staring at him intensely, suddenly feeling nervous in the cramped elevator alone with him.

he kept trying to make conversation but you were completely zoned out, only being able to focus on how good he looked in his oversized black sweater.

your eyes kept nervously flitting between him and the elevator door, and you were beginning to sweat. has he always been this hot?

after what felt like an eternity, the elevator door opened and you practically sprinted out, making a beeline for the conference room. never have you been more relieved to see a room full of PR professionals.

you and shotaro sat down a safe distance away from each other. you’re not sure what overcame you in the elevator.

you haven’t had any romance in your life for so long that every little thing gets you flustered, including being alone in a small space with a good looking man.

“thank you both for coming today.” the same woman from yesterday greeted. “if you don’t mind, we’d like to walk you through the month-long plan of your ‘relationship’” she shared, using quotation marks.

“firstly, we want the two of you to be spotted out together. going to cafe’s, the movies, even just for a walk. hold hands, hug, kiss if you feel like it.” you couldn’t help but look at shotaro for the last bit and you were shocked to see he was already looking at you.

“we’ll call on paparazzi and companies like dispatch to ‘catch you in the act’ and post your photos online for people to catch on.” she continued, nodding at a man next to her.

“then we’re going to make an official announcement on behalf of the company that you two are officially dating. you know, ‘the pair are getting to know each other and we would appreciate your privacy bla bla bla’” the man said, far less professionally.

“right. you two will continue your outings for another week or so after and then you come back, and we will make a statement on behalf of the company that you have broken up to focus on your schedules. how does that sound?” the lady wrapped up.

“sounds good to me.” shotaro replied coolly. “yeah, um, sounds good.” you sputtered, a bit overwhelmed.

suddenly, you heard a loud ping on the woman’s phone. she looked down and looked up again between you and shotaro, “well, it looks like you two have already set the plan into motion.” she chuckled.

looking closer at her phone, you saw an online article showing pictures from just an hour ago of you in shotaro’s car titled “y/n and shotaro: potential lovebirds?”

what the hell? how did those photos get out so fast… and when were they even taken?

although you were growing increasingly anxious about your lack of privacy, you had to admit the PR team knew what they were talking about, people were going insane over the article.

“since you’ve already been spotted together today, you might as well go on a ‘date’ later in the afternoon to seal the deal.” an older man opposite you added in air quotes.

you and shotaro simply nodded in agreement and before you knew it, the meeting was coming to a close.

grabbing your bag, you prepared to speed-walk out of the room and avoid shotaro until your inevitable ‘date’ but he seemed to have other plans.

“wait up, y/n!” he hollered, catching up to you. “i know we’re kind of being forced to hang out, but that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy each other’s company!” he began, “what’s your favorite coffee shop? mine’s-”

“look i appreciate you trying to make light of the situation, but this is just a marketing strategy, nothing more and nothing less.” you cut him off, “let’s just go to the bakery across the street, make lovey dovey eyes at each other, and go our separate ways, yeah?”

his smile faded a bit which made you feel guilty, but he recovered quickly and nodded, following you out the company building.

once you arrived at the bakery, you tried to seem as interested as possible in whatever shotaro was talking about, but your brain was still foggy from the hectic morning you had.

“anyways, what about you?” the singer excitedly asked, “…what about me?” you repeated through gritted teeth, forcing a smile in case any cameras were on you.

“i was asking if you started preparing for your new album.” he smiled. “oh. um, yeah.” you shrugged, avoiding eye contact.

“you know i’m a big fan of your music,” shotaro started, “i loved your debut album, i listen to at least one song from it every day.” he shared shyly.

well great. now you felt even more bad for being so unnecessarily rude to him. softening your demeanor, you replied with “thanks… i really liked ‘get a guitar’, too.”

his eyes lit up upon you mentioning his track, which you took as a sign to continue, “but i can never get the dance quite right.” you added, grinning.

“i can always teach you!” he beamed.

“that would be nice-”

“oh my GOD, is that shotaro?” a stranger gasped, causing both your and shotaro’s heads to snap in opposite directions.

even though you were technically trying to get caught, old idol habits die hard. dating scandals are every idol’s biggest fear: an entire dedicated fanbase turning on you just for experiencing romance? true nightmare fuel.

“and i think that’s y/n with him! why are they here together?” another stranger spoke up. you and shotaro swiftly picked up your belongings and left, worried you’d attract more attention.

“i’ll-um-see you, bye.” you mumbled with your head down as shotaro gave you a small thumbs up underneath the table.

the two of you set off in different directions and you began dreading the long walk home. you were wearing a mask and a beanie, which meant your chances of getting recognized were pretty low, but they definitely weren’t zero.

however, you loved walking through seoul, especially this time of year. the weather was nice, and the streets were bustling. you used to love brainstorming song lyrics and melodies during walks.

deciding to take advantage of your situation, you racked your brain for any potential lyrics.

nothing.

how could you have lost all your creativity? did your songwriting talent just disappear? how would you get it back?

doubts filled your mind as you realized you were already halfway home and failed to come up with a single verse.

maybe you were lacking inspiration. your life was filled with romantic endeavors prior to your debut, which filled your mind with several ideas for new songs.

but you seemed to have forgotten all of them, and as cheesy as it sounds, you might have forgotten how it feels to be in love as well.

nearing your apartment, you felt a vibration in your pocket. taking out your phone, you opened up an email from your manager:

Re: Dating News

Hello Y/N,

Seems like your bakery date is already going viral on SNS. A pair of fans spotted you two and uploaded a photo of you sitting at a table together. Keep up the good work.

[1 Attachment]

clicking on the attachment, you saw a screenshot of a tweet exclaiming ‘RIIZE SHOTARO AND Y/N L/N ON A DATE???’ with a picture of the two of you smiling and sitting across from each other at a table.

it freaked you out how happy the two of you looked in the photo, almost like a real couple.

shutting off your phone, you couldn’t help but smile as you entered your apartment, maybe shotaro was starting to grow on you.

in the next few weeks, you and shotaro would go on several public outings, getting spotted almost immediately.

before you knew it the two of you were the hottest topic in k-pop, headlining several media outlet articles and trending on social media.

you would periodically receive correspondence from your manager and PR team praising you for how well you were pulling the stunt off.

although you wouldn’t admit it, you were really starting to enjoy shotaro’s company as well. the two of you began texting until late hours at night and planning ‘dates’ without instruction from your team.

you’d be lying if you said you weren’t starting to feel a bit attached to him but you reminded yourself that this was simply a work thing. besides, it’s not like he’s interested anyway… right?

you couldn’t read shotaro at all. he always had a sweet smile plastered on his face and seemed excited about everything and anything.

weirdly, you felt your writing ability start to come back slowly as well.. but it obviously has nothing to do with shotaro!

it’s just a coincidence that you draw on your memories of him to come up with lyrics; that you describe his mannerisms to a T in your potential choruses and scribble about how he makes you feel in your notebook on your off-days.

yup! definitely just a coincidence.

“y’know i used to love these growing up,” shotaro shared as the two of you stood at a street food stall indulging in dango.

“you must miss japan a lot, huh?” you asked, staring at the side of his face. his expression faltered slightly.

“of course i do, but i’m glad i chased after my dreams. it sounds cliché but it paid off. i get to do what i love, even if i’m hundreds of miles away from home.” he replied softly.

you don’t know what it was, but in that moment you wanted nothing more than to kiss him. you stared at his lips for a few moments before he caught on.

“do i have something on my face..?” he questioned, raising a finger to wipe his mouth.

you leaned in, centimeters away from touching your lips with his when he stepped back.

shit. way to go, y/n.

“sorry, i just- i don’t think we should…” he stammered,

“no, i’m sorry. i don’t know what came over me. we-i should go.” you said awkwardly, biting your lip.

you headed off before he could reply, mentally cursing at the world and wanting to crawl into a hole and die.

how could you let your guard down like that and embarrass yourself?

that night, you didn’t receive a single text from him like you usually do, so you tried reaching out.

no response.

every time you contacted him afterwards or tried to set up another ‘date’ he would flake last minute or respond dryly until he full-on ghosted you.

you stopped heading out together and your manager seemed content with it as you had already generated enough anticipation for your comeback.

the next time you saw him would be at a company meeting, discussing the end of your ‘relationship’.

you zoned out the entire meeting, barely hearing anything coming out of anyone’s mouth. you focused on trying not to look at shotaro and keeping your thoughts preoccupied so you felt less embarrassed just being in his presence.

your manager briefed you on the contents of the meeting afterwards, sharing that all you had to do was release a joint statement that confirmed you were now broken up.

“it’s easy enough, you mostly leave it to the social media managers. just send them your virtual signature and be sure to post it on your instagram as soon as possible. got it?” the man asked.

you nodded wordlessly with your head still in the clouds. for the first time in a long time your mind was filled with new ideas for lyrics, ranging from lovestruck to heartbroken to enraged.

you opted to walk home that day, even taking the longer route, furiously typing in your notes app and recording several voice notes on the way. you must’ve looked insane to everyone else around you but you didn’t care.

if you couldn’t get your mind off shotaro, you’d at least make it work in your favor. that night, you wrote an impressive 10 drafts of different songs, staying up until late and getting up early the next morning to head to the studio.

you drowned yourself in your work, hoping you’d forget about the boy whose presence was still all around you in both your thoughts and lyrics.

eventually, you refined and recorded all 10 songs, ready to release them in your new album.

shortly before your album announcement, you posted your official ‘breakup’ statement, feeling empty as you tapped on your screen.

you never would’ve predicted the somewhat annoying and yet incredibly charming guy that you were forced into a relationship with would haunt you this much.

you even found yourself looking through old posts and articles about the two of you, reminiscing on your time as a fake couple.

it stung knowing it was completely one-sided, and it stung even more knowing you could’ve still had him as a friend if you didn’t stupidly act on impulse.

you saw him here and there entering and leaving the SM building and the two of you would share a polite smile and bow before rushing off.

the response to your breakup announcement was unprecedented, and the amount of people heartbroken for the both of you took you by surprise.

riizeandrealize: ‘love isn’t real after all 💔💔’

y/n4eva: ‘at least we know the new album is gonna hit’

y/ntaro: ‘NOOO MY PARENTS’

tarosho28: ‘awww… so that means shotaro’s single again? 😁’

scrolling through the comments absentmindedly, one in specific caught your attention:

user1129399: ‘she always seemed more into him than he did. he’s probably the one that broke it off’

you felt hot with rage, what does a stupid netizen on the internet know? and why is their comment making you so upset?

maybe because they were partially right. you obviously were more into him or he would’ve been more receptive to your humiliating attempt at a kiss.

your album was set to come out in a week and you had a set track list recorded and ready.

and yet, you felt compelled to add one more song.

you went to work immediately, writing so fast your words were barely legible but you could read it perfectly fine.

you wrote as intensely and specifically as you could about everything—from your first encounter to your last. you tried to keep your other songs vague enough to avoid any suspicion on shotaro’s part about the subject of the lyrics, but you didn’t care anymore.

you were in love with osaki shotaro and you needed to express it in the only way you know how.

“are you insane?” your manager’s voice boomed over the line.

“it’s already recorded, and i have the backing vocals done too. i just need one more day to get the production team together and it’ll be done and ready to add to the album.” you pleaded.

“fine.” he sighed, “this better be worth it.”

“it will be.” at this point you weren’t sure if you were assuring him or yourself.

this was your most personal and emotional piece of work yet, and you were worried shitless about what response it would receive.

luckily for you, it did amazing on the charts and with your fans. in fact, your fanbase almost doubled in size and you were experiencing even more success than you were already.

unluckily for you, you still felt like shit.

your life felt empty without shotaro in it and no amount of fans, cameras, or praise could fill that void.

as you were preparing to go out onto stage for a music show, you ran into a familiar figure heading out of the green room.

of course it was none other than the one person you have been thinking about nonstop for the past month, wrote an entire album about, and the same guy who probably cringes every time he hears it play on the radio.

you gave him a polite smile before rushing towards the hair and makeup room.

“wait. y/n, can we talk real quick?” he began nervously.

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfu-

“y/n?” he repeated, snapping you back to reality.

“yes. of course.” you responded, trying to sound as collected as possible.

“i-uh listened to your new album. it’s amazing. i loved track 11 the most.” he smiled softly, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

of course you liked that track, it’s obviously about you.

“thanks! is that all?” you rushed, preparing to sprint away at any moment.

“no! honestly, i wanted to apologize for the way things ended.” he confessed,

you knew how this was going to end. he was going to give you some bullshit excuse for ghosting you instead of just telling you he wasn’t interested and waste 5 minutes of your time.

but you don’t have 5 minutes to waste. you need to get up on stage and sing about how bad he hurt you.

pathetic, but at least you’re self aware.

“save it. i know you don’t feel the same way and that’s fine. but you could’ve at least told me. you didn’t have to shut me out, I thought we were friends at the very least.” you exploded, suddenly feeling a burst of adrenaline.

“but y/n-”

“and i’m not in the mood for excuses. you had a month to think of a good excuse but i guess there just isn’t one. you know i just hope you can take this experience and learn to never do this to some other girl because-”

“y/n you’re not listening to me.”

“why should i? you didn’t bother listening to me when i called you all those times. and about track 11, yes it’s about you. the whole fucking album is about you and i bet you already knew that-”

your petty rant was cut short when you felt something press gently against your lips… but he definitely wasn’t kissing you.

oh my god. did he just physically shush me? he carefully removed his finger from it’s place in front of your now-closed lips.

“did you just shush me?! have you lost your damn mind-” you began again,

“y/n!” he practically yelled, now gaining the attention from several staff members.

“i know what i did was shitty and I’m sorry. you’re right, i shouldn’t have ghosted you. but it’s not because i didn’t feel the same way. i’ve loved you for a while now.”

your jaw dropped, along with several eavesdropper’s jaws throughout the now dead-silent hallway.

“i was scared that you didn’t see me in that way but when i found out that you did… i panicked. i was too scared to tell you how i felt and i know i’m an idiot for it.” he looked down. “i’m not going to beg you to take me back or anything, but can we at least go back to the way we were? friends?”

“y/n, you need to get to hair and makeup NOW! you’re running out of time before your performance!” a staff member called out before you could respond, dragging you away.

well great. now you have to pretend everything’s alright and sing a little song on stage when your whole world has been flipped upside down.

as you sat in the makeup chair, you pondered over what would happen if you did agree to start over with shotaro, would you be happy?

before you knew it, you were on stage facing a crowd full of people staring right at you. you usually wouldn’t mind, you’re an idol after all. but the whole situation was just overstimulating you.

luckily the backtrack began playing before you could overthink and you were able to escape from reality for a few minutes to sing and perform.

you missed this feeling. you missed staying up writing, listening proudly to your new music you poured your heart into, and giving your all on stage every performance.

at the end of your song, the crowd erupted into cheers. you looked onto all the banners with your name and face plastered onto them gratefully.

whether you liked it or not, shotaro brought your spark back. yes it caused you immense pain and suffering, but it also gave you moments of joy, including the one you were experiencing right now.

once you wrapped up, you headed backstage, surprised to see shotaro standing by the monitor. was he watching your performance?

“i made up my mind.” you announced, walking up to him.

“are you sure you don’t need more time?” he asked, nervous.

“you’re a dumbass for what you did,” you started, noting how his face fell, “but i’d be an even bigger dumbass to pretend i don’t want to be with you.”

the contagious smile you’re used to seeing slowly reappeared on his face, causing you to slowly smile as well before you quickly corrected yourself.

“but… i want a proper apology. maybe you could give me one at the bakery tomorrow morning?” you mused.

“it’s a date.” he responded warmly.

[waitmyturtles]

Have you read any of the Thai academic papers regarding MAME's work? sometimes I feel like fandom at large has a very strong western bias towards her that borders on xenophobia in review of anything attached to her unless it's more low stakes gmmtv style stuff like wedding plan was which suits western sensibilities more.

Hi, Non! This is interesting framing you've put forth here. I want to note that I'm close with some folks, particularly @bengiyo and @lurkingshan, whose critical tastes I trust, and I can assure myself that they would not call Wedding Plan low stakes. During my Old GMMTV Challenge project, I promised myself that I would not watch another MAME show after Love By Chance and TharnType, and I've taken Ben's and Shan's urging to chuck that aside to add Wedding Plan to my OGMMTVC syllabus, which I'll get to after my summer travels. Let me take a second to sort this all out in a more sensible and chronological answer to touch upon what I know about MAME now that I'm much more read into Thai BLs and the history of the genre.

Regarding academia and MAME, I have not read Thai source material on her start and her legacy in Thai Y novel writing and Thai BL/Series Y television productions. What I am in the midst of reading at the moment is Dr. Thomas Baudinette's Boys Love Media in Thailand (Baudinette hailing from Australia), and he does get in depth with MAME's beginnings, which for me was the first primary source material that I have encountered about her background. To summarize quickly, MAME (along with individuals like INDRYTIMES/Kwang Latika, who wrote the original novel for Love Sick, and others) was part of the first crop of young middle-to-upper-class female college students who became enamored with Japanese BL/yaoi manga, as well as (in many cases) K-pop idols, and began writing fan fiction about and/or in the styles of these interests, which led to the development of the unique Thai Y novel genre.

It does seem to me, at least on Tumblr, that a good chunk of Western fandom here has written off MAME. I'm Asian-American, and I come to my hesitation about MAME from a particularly Asian perspective, so I really can't speak for the non-Asian fans about what they're rejecting. Let me at least explain what I'm rejecting, and how I've engaged in dialogue about it with critical friends here.

LBC did not have as much of what I will attempt to describe as I saw in TharnType, something that I might now call collectivist homophobia or collectivist bias. But LBC had a smattering of it, something that I smelled early on in that series. In both series, MAME seemed to approach her characters, to me, with a distanced hand of judgement that, to me, recalled the kinds of biases that my Asian parents tried to implant in me in my childhood, that I rejected throughout my young years. Queer material is so very often not good to its queer characters, and it seemed to me through LBC and TT that MAME intended to gild that lily to channel a populist homophobia that she seemed to know would resonate with a broader fanbase -- which it did, in part, because TharnType in particular was the first Thai BL with heat in every episode.

(Two things to note about my review of TharnType that I penned last year. First item to note is that Boys Love Media in Thailand had not been published yet, and I had not read primary source material about MAME. I was enraged at the time about fan theories that MAME had been a victim of sexual assault, and had therefore written her queer characters with the biased vitriol that I perceived coming from her because of that theorized past. I still think these theories are equivocating and problematic. Second item is that I heavily recommend reading the reblogs of my TT review, tags and posts and all, to see literally the spectrum of commentary of the MAME fandom/anti-fandom across Tumblr. Writing that post and reading those reblogs was a hell of a great experience.)

Just to summarize this, then -- I choose to not engage with MAME because I see under- and overhanded bias in the work that I've watched, with my Asian eyes; and I just might assume that many Westerners see the same thing. But I don't really know, because I haven't talked to that many Western fans about the depth of this.

So what does this mean for this moment in time? I understand MAME's Love Sea is airing, which I'm not watching, and I missed the boat on Love In the Air -- so I think I'm missing some critical and/or catty chatter about those two shows from the fandom because I don't have context.

But I do know there are folks out there that either write MAME off wholly, likely for similar reasons that I've listed above, and/or hate-watch her shows and post about it. To each their own.

I would not have considered Wedding Plan if Ben and Shan weren't screaming about it. I'm happy to have fewer shows on my plate, I got no time. However.

Nothing in this world exists in a static vacuum. If MAME is experimenting with tone, approach, style, and even taste regarding her shows, then more power to her. @bengiyo's post linked above about Wedding Plan is important for me to see, because I see that he's noting that parts of the fandom may have actually demonstrated real homophobic dialogue about MAME's fictional characters, which, to me, I'm like, what? Really? You got time for that? But also:

If MAME, back in 2019 with TharnType, picked up that her Thai and global fanbases were more inclined to check in with collectivist homophobia, as I'm calling it.... and now, in 2023-2024, has noted that her fanbases might be far more inclined to support real queer equality and overtones in shows, and is including those themes in her work -- can we not welcome that change in? That's why I'll give Wedding Plan a shot.

Let's be sassy and ironic for a second. Could she be making this change for da money and the fame? Sure. But -- capitalism unfortunately rules this world. Car commercials in the States have interracial queer couples parenting children nowadays. If equality talks to money, then content makers will take note. I think I'd be a hypocrite to say that MAME shouldn't make her dollar, all while she's experimenting with more equitable stances.

Last note. There's been quite the dialogue simmering these past few weeks about GMMTV's We Are, and whether or not GMMTV is stepping away from a past where many (not all, but many) of its shows explored queerness in depth. He's Coming To Me, Bad Buddy, Dark Blue Kiss (yes... the first three shows I listed were Aof Noppharnach shows, fuck), Theory of Love, 3 Will Be Free. The major GMMTV BL/GL shows that have aired recently that have made huge waves on social media -- Only Friends, 23.5, Last Twilight, and now My Love Mix-Up -- were/are helmed by branded (capitalism, hello!) pairs, and three out of four of them were flops, with MLMU already treading that territory in EPISODE TWO, for heaven's sake. (Y'all, read the reblogs on this post. Wow.) I finished a rewatch of The Eclipse weeks ago, and I'm dragging my feet on my review, because of what I think that show represents for what branded pairs end up doing to otherwise original content.

I want to posit a theory, that I'll work more on when my OGMMTVC is over, that we have living, real-time proof that the branded pair system is failing good content -- because these shows have to produce engagement snippets of these pairs, instead of more broadly penetrating artistic content. GMMTV's one-off shows with non-branded pairs, like Be My Favorite and Wandee Goodday, are FAR MORE INTERESTING content-wise, varied and inquisitive in their artistic takes on queerness. Even Cherry Magic, featuring the long-awaited return of TayNew, felt fresh, because we literally hadn't seen TayNew in FIVE YEARS. Tay actually KISSED ANOTHER DUDE, shocker!, in 3 Will Be Free. I want to go back to those days, where the pairs could act well outside of their range and their business partners, instead of being limited to the same tone and style that their pairings and their fandoms demand.

I say ALL OF THIS, because isn't it interesting that GMMTV seems to be reverting on a scale of inquisitiveness about queerness -- and MAME seems to be going in the opposite direction?

I would not have expected it. But I have found, lately, some of GMMTV's "takes" on "queerness," as in Only Friends, to be outright offensive. This corporation has become far more gunshy to let their branded pairs just be fictionally gay. If MAME wants to take on a healthier stance of equity, and to play around with more realistic depictions of what it means to be queer in Thailand, then go for it, girl. I will admittedly be watching Wedding Plan with my Asian side-eye and my smell tests for bias, but I look forward to being proven wrong about my suspicions. I want to be a responsible fan here, open to MAME's changes.

This ended up being a lot, but thank you for provoking these thoughts, Non.

[wonbin-truther]

... loading character profiles

╰┈➤ creeper? aw man

lee sohee was a normal college student up until covid. that was until he got bored one day and set up the sohee_e twitch account. practically overnight he became a hit for his humor and being one of the hottest minecraft gamers. no wonder brands were practically falling at his feet in dms for him to sign with them. the bad part of sudden fame? sohee wasn't able to set up a side twitter account (nor did he care to) so his desperation for you is public knowledge.

osaki shotaro met sohee during a college gen ed dance course. when it was moved online, the two started messaging back and forth in order to complete assignments. just as sohee's gaming gained attraction over covid, shotaro's dance covers did too. now he can be spotted as a backup dancer for some of the biggest names.

jung sungchan is one of sohee's newer friend, although it feels as if he's been around forever. they had started dming online when sungchan asked to play valorant. sohee quickly brought him into the group, knowing he would fit right in. now, the group has appeared in most of sungchan's vlogs.

song eunseok is also a newer friend to the small group of boys. sohee met him during one of his first modeling gigs, eunseok quickly taking the young and overwhelmed boy under his wing. coincidently, he was one of seunghan's close friends so the merge into the group was easy.

park wonbin is the definition of superstar. he had started as a child actor. he was one of the few who broke out of their child fame and seamlessly transitioned into where he is now. sohee however, knew him during his early acting days from a high school algebra class. he was also very close friends with anton so when a group project brought the 3 together, sohee became quick friends with him.

hong seunghan has been friends with sohee since early elementary school. the two were table mates and bonded over their love for pokemon. sohee watched in high school as modeling reps and idol recruiters practically lined up in front to get their hands on him.

lee anton has been with sohee since practically the dawn of time. their moms were best friend making them automatic best friends since the time they were born. anton is also a streamer, having joined twitch after being begged by sohee's followers after he joined him during a stream. the two are often streaming together or appear at some point during the solo stream due to the fact they live together.

... previous • menu • next level ...

synopsis! sohee was a well known streamer, having grown his fanbase over covid with the game minecraft and slowly branched into other games along with sponsorships and modeling offers. he was also well known for being your number one twitter fanboy, never missing one of your posts even if fashion wasn't his greatest interest. what happens when a modeling gig brings him face to face with you?

players (open)! @ihrtantn @secretiny @nujeskz @seunitas @be0mlvr @100203shong @llearlert @astro-doll-the-star @saranghoeforanton

[wonderlandsakura]

I have a Zosan fic inspired by a post I think I saw on Tumblr, but it being Tumblr, I can't find it to reblog it, but I'm gonna post it anyway (just a heads up, it's kinda long)

Sanji Accidentally Reveals Who His Partner Is During A Livestream! (NOT CLICKBAIT)

“Welcome back to Cooking with Sanji, this time we’re Live! Thank you my mellorines for being such sweet, loyal and gorgeous fans and taking time out of your busy schedules to attend my livestream today!” Sanji crowed, making finger hearts at the camera.

He was in the location of all his videos and livestreams, his kitchen, which straddled the line between cluttered and cosy and straight out of a magazine, with its industrial grade appliances and overfull cabinets and refrigerator covered in random memorabilia, such as postcards, polaroids and for some reason, an absurd amount of fish related pictures, magnets and posters.

“Today we’ll be cooking my partner’s favorite, Onigiri!” Sanji continued, going on to list the ingredients while chatting with the stream and answering any questions that pop up and highlighted by his mods.

Sanji’s partner was an elusive mystery his fanbase (and that of the Straw Hat Pirates, the group of content creators he was part of) had long wondered about.

It was no secret the man was married, the man in question having made comments mentioning his partner more than once and flaunted his wedding ring on occasion when it was brought up, though he didn’t often wear it on his hand when he was cooking, choosing to wear it on a chain around his neck.

They knew the man lived with his partner, as he often made mention of them while filming and streaming through snarky comments that would nevertheless dissolve into lovestruck looks and loud confirmations of his love whenever one of the audience (usually a newer fan) wondered why Sanji stayed despite his complaints.

Many of his fan base assumed that the person in question was female, what with Sanji’s womanizing tendencies, believing it to be one of the female straw hats or their associates, though this was quickly disproven as they came out or started dating other people.

However, some fans still held onto this conviction, many of them shipping Sanji with his female friends, or with Pudding, a baker that Sanji had collabed with before, who had then insisted she was Sanji’s partner, despite not having a ring or being mentioned by the Straw Hats, who had confirmed they had long met Sanji's partner, before that moment.

Sanji had long since spoken out to disprove these rumors about their relationship, but still, some of his crazier fans insisted on shipping the two, along with many of Pudding's hardcore fans.

Most of Sanji's fan base however, couldn't care less about when or if he would ever reveal who the person was, or even their gender, respecting his right to his privacy.

They were more than fed on the scraps they were given, after all, as the look Sanji would have on his face and the way he gushed over his partner spoke volumes about his love for them.

At some point, Sanji’s dad, Red_Leg_Zeff, pops up on the stream’s chat and starts scolding Sanji through his comments, urged on and enabled by his mods and audience, who cheer him on and highlight his comments for Sanji to read, much to his chagrin. He complains loudly about how his old man needs to stop worrying and get off his stream and isn’t he supposed to be getting ready to open up his restaurant, the Baratie?

The stream adores the interaction, though some of the newer viewers need to be reassured that this is just the way the father-son cooking duo interact, and that they truly adore each other.

It was just the way Sanji showed love, whether to his adoptive father, his friends, or when he spoke about his partner.

Eventually the stream settles down and Zeff leaves to work, as Sanji continues to deftly shape onigiri balls as he chats with his audience.

The stream runs longer than usual, thanks to Zeff’s appearance, but it is just about to end when they hear a door opening off screen.

Sanji however doesn’t seem to notice, wrapped up in excitedly explaining what the All Blue he mentions in his bio on all his social media is to a new fan. This distraction would be his undoing.

From out of frame, a very familiar man to those who were fans of the Straw Hat Pirates as a whole appeared, sending those that noticed him into a tizzy.

It was the half naked, sweaty form of one Roronoa Zoro, the group’s resident sports addict, or as he was better known in the words of Sanji himself, ‘Directionally Challenged Mossbrain’, who often got lost and ended up being dragged back to the group by Sanji. He was also known to most as Sanji's rival.

The two were known for their spats, spitting insults and jabs at each other at the slightest slight or provocation, the arguments often devolving into brawls with kicks and hits thrown by Sanji and Zoro respectively. So it was a surprise to see the man so casually ambling about the house that was known to be shared by Sanji and his partner.

This surprise and interest continued as the man, who seemed to have just finished one of his morning workouts, walked up to Sanji as he used the towel around his neck to wipe away the sweat on his forehead.

The chat waited with bated breath for something to happen, for Sanji to snap and shout at him or something to break the tension created by the man's appearance.

And break it did, as the man bent his head down towards Sanji and tilted his face towards him, kissing him right on the lips, cutting off the man's words with the action.

The chat started screaming, filling with comments that rushed by quicker than the eye could catch. More viewers started appearing as people called their fellow fans in to see the shocking moment, the mods struggling to tame the hoards.

All this went unnoticed by the two lovers as Sanji melted into the kiss, seeming to forget where he was for a moment.

Finally they broke apart, a look of lovestruck bliss on Sanji's flushed face as he stared into his lover's eyes.

Only for him to redden furiously and start to bluster, flustered as he realized what just happened.

He started screaming, as a fans had foreseen, hitting Zoro as he shooed him away, the man calmly avoiding the hits as he scooped up an onigiri and moved away. Only to double back, calling Sanji's name, making him shout.

“What do you want, Marimo!”

At which his head was cradled and another kiss was bestowed on to his forehead, causing his squawking to redouble in its intensity and resulting in Zoro leaving his haloed kitchen chased by whatever objects were in reach that Sanji could throw.

Sanji finally calmed down at his disappearance, breathing heavily as he stared after the other man.

Finally he turned back to the screen.

A bright, furious blush creeped slowly across his face as he realized who exactly, had just seen the chaotic interaction.

He lunged forward, over the countertop and the stream ended abruptly, sending the viewers back into the waiting room, where they tittered to each other about what they had seen.

It was a moment that would not soon be forgotten, against Sanji's best wishes, and it was the most talked about, dramatic and chaotic coming out of any content creator.

Though despite its suddenness, all Zoro and Sanji's fans would agree that it was utterly, irrevocably, them.

-

We've come to the end, thank you for reading :) you might want to take a moment to rest your eyes before moving on

[chaifootsteps]

tbh one thing i liked about the instas that i dont think the series will bring back is him wearing casual clothes outside of work. the concept of a gay male sinner from the 1940s embracing modern day fashion from the current era because of how cute it is without anyone caring because its hell, (with the implication he mightve been doing this for decades beforehand before he came to the hotel,) is just really cool concept to me :3 it gave him a fashion identity outside of his sex work (something the show really doesnt do at all,) and it let him explore a more cutesty side to his character, but in a really natural way! i also just liked it because most of the sinners we saw tended to stick to dressing from their era, which made angel stand out more.

but this isnt present at all in the series, and even weirder, the one time he has a chance to put on pajamas in episode 2 like the girls have, where hes alone in his room with fat nuggets, he doesnt. maybe we wouldve had time for that if there wasn't a joke dedicated to showing how tone deaf and christian charlies morals are for the bisexual daughter of lucifer morningstar.

all the clothes he wears, there's more of a focus of his outfits from posion rather then anywhere else. i hardly see as much fanart of that stupid ugly ripped finale suit, as much as i see fanart of the latex suit angel wears while singing about being unable to help swallowing poison. either that, or the outfit he wears while dancing with val. love the fluffy spider butt, but cmon. we can get an angel dust design thats more spider in a natural way, but we can't see him wear casual clothes when he isnt working? or even see him in a full suit? (i really miss the purple suit from the instas, no stupid pink stripes, full suit for both arms, and his boobs were out w his tie instead of being hidden away like they are in the finale, which was perfect for his character </3)

him wearing clothes separate to his identity as a pornstar also helped him reclaim some of his freedom under his contract, obviously being unable to choose what val makes him wear on set. that's what angel dusts actions reflected in the instas and the comics too. (the "work shit" box comes to mind, i hate that borderline on screen rape is fine for an amazon funded show, but a box of dildos is too much,) even the addict mv shows this, with angel wearing just a pink sweater and some purple shorts when laying with cherri. or even just the casual, but cute outfit he wears when he blows up that club with her.

its just one of the few things that made him feel human, especially when fashion is bound to change in so many ways when youve been in hell for 77 years like he has. this part of his character being missing (along with the implication he even has a life outside of his work in the series; pilot ad was coping with work with hard drugs, being an teasing asshole as a defensive mechanism, getting into turf wars and murdering mafia goons. but still dresses cute and gets to be cute w his friends in his own time! series ad is coping by self destructing and letting people drug and fuck him so he'll be "broken" but then gets better by going out once after being waterboarded at work, only to not relax and be a mom to a joke character at a club called fucking consent,) is one of the reasons im still bitter about the instas being nuked. but not the only reason.

viv will always takes the credit for them anyway, no matter if she feels they do or not, because her fanbase isn't smart enough to realize someone else wrote these stories they still love. even if theyll be the first one to remind you they arent canon, because the creator said they arent. but my honest to god confession is that sometimes the instagrams feel more like the canon hazbin hotel to me, even months after s1 dropped, simply due to the nuance and detail it has compared to the actual series. it wasnt perfect, but you could tell there was passion there- passion that now, only the leads are allowed to put in hazbin so their favorite character can get more screentime and attention.

Thank you, Anon, for this absolutely beautiful writeup. It was true, seeing the difference between the outfits Val forced him into versus the outfits he chose to wear on his own time was one of the most interesting aspects of Instagram Angel Dust. It was a more safe-for-work extension of the "work shit" dildoes that didn't make it to Amazon Prime (while his graphic on-screen gang rape did) and it was powerful.

Of course, there are practical logistical reasons why cartoon characters wear the same outfit, but if only one character in HH was going to have a big wardrobe, it absolutely should have been Angel. But of course it wasn't, because as far as Viv and Raph were concerned, the only Angel outfits that mattered were the ones that fed into their shared fetish.

[venus-is-thinking]

DRDT Chapter 2 Episode 14: Initial Thoughts

What an episode! I can't believe that we're probably starting to near the end of the Trial. But, considering we're almost there, we DEFINITELY have a lot to talk about. It's a longer episode, and there's a LOT to go over, so buckle in!

SPOILER WARNING FOR DRDT CH 2 PART 2!

T/W: Murder, hanging (with depictions)

The Reactions

Hu is literally so pretty.

I wasn't expecting her to get a whole mechanic defending Nico, but it makes sense. Letting other students cut in during the Class Trial is a great way to draw specific attention to a character point, and it's very clear that Hu's over-defense of Nico is going to be important moving forwards.

RIP to my "using the weight rack as the carousel" theory. The fan probably makes more sense. I just still have no idea how the 300-ish pound or whatever weight rack managed to get knocked over in the struggle.

I'm glad they directly pointed this out. Trying to kill everyone in the Class Trial was the EXACT thing Hu was so pressed about David doing. It's a weird double standard to be so forgiving of Nico when they tried to do the same thing.

Insane thing to say if Eden is the culprit and killed Arei because she didn't believe her. Then again, if my explanation for a lot of Eden Trial dialogue is "she's speaking out of regret for killing Arei now that she knows Arei was being legit," maybe she's just calling herself cruel as well.

This is honestly very valid.

Do you think "here" implies Nico trusts someone in the outside world? Based on their secret, it seems like they probably didn't have many friends. Could also be referring to animals? Or Mai Akasaki?

Big psychic damage to Hu though, considering we know she thrives on other people relying on her. She wants Nico to be someone who relies on her sooo bad, but they just... don't.

Like, girl. They literally JUST said that they don't trust anyone. That includes you.

She's clearly projecting in some way, though, which is definitely an oof. I wonder if Hu wishes she had someone who was undeniably on her side in the past...?

(To be clear: I think Hu is a very well written and interesting character. She fits the fucked up vibes of Despair Time, but coming from a more surprising angle of "that really nice and caring person can also be fucked up." She's just clearly in the wrong here, so I get to clown on her as I clown on everyone else.)

Ace is honestly so valid for this. Like, yeah he's kind of a bully and he sucks sometimes, but. Like. He did almost get murdered and people are, like, mad at him for it? Huh???

If Ace does end up being the Chapter 2 killer because he snapped, I honestly think he's so valid for that.

It is my personal agenda to record every instance of J being notably anti-murder. I don't know where it's going but if it does go somewhere I want my credit because it is Apparent.

(The entire fanbase nods in agreement.)

I know some people definitely still think/thought that Hu and/or Nico was responsible for the crime, so we've all DEFINITELY been squinting at that alibi. I fully believe it's true, but that doesn't change the fact that I wouldn't put it past Hu to make a fake alibi to protect Nico. Idk if Nico would go along with it, though.

I got so jumpscared by the Closing Argument-style CG.

I'm so glad we did get a definitive answer on how this thing worked. I was so afraid that we were just gonna solve the Arei murder method and the exact solution of Ace's would be a "left to audience interpretation" kind of thing.

I'm not exactly sure where the blood on Ace's fingertips comes from? Maybe he cut his hand on the wire when he was trying to struggle after he woke up or something.

This makes so much more sense than anything I saw theorized though, lol. The fan falling from drop hanging totally checks out as a way that the murder mechanism could fail.

I have NO fucking clue why Nico opted for this as the murder mechanism, though. I get wanting to use Hu's wire to frame her, but why didn't you just cut Ace's throat with the wire in the first place???

where did their cape go :(

Potentially suspicious line from Ace? I don't know what he's referring to as "go through all this." Like, maybe just reliving the murder attempt, I guess...? Could also be going through the Class Trial, though, if Ace killed as a result of Nico trying to kill him.

*Levi's secret quote looms*

Things that make me think Nico is either a victim or a survivor. Like, are you really gonna say this and then go try to kill someone else? ...Or Ace again, I guess??

Fun fact: this was actually what guided me to my initial killer picks, before I discussed with anyone else or read any theories! I thought the killer was trying to frame Nico, so it had to be Eden or Ace. The tape and everything else was just what locked it in for me. It's fun to see Teruko follow more or less the same path that I did when I was trying to solve the mystery :)

TAPE TIME :D

The use of the Bound Wrists truth bullet actually really confused me at first bc I didn't realize we were just talking about the tape. I was like, were Arei's wrists bound because Ace's were and it was intended to be another similarity???

Maybe Eden's just being nice, but I find it really suspicious that her instinct after all this time is "didn't MonoTV take it" and not "oh I guess Ace is probably the murderer."

Teruko has now outlined two different ways that it makes sense if the killer was in the gym that night. If I were Eden, and I were innocent, I would be realizing that there's a very small suspect pool left, and I know that I'm not the killer, giving me additional information. Instead, she's questioning the validity of the tape argument, which isn't useful for narrowing down the killer-- it's useful for keeping the suspect pool wider and not leaving herself as one of three (but basically two) options.

I kinda get why people are upset with Rose here, but it's also kind of an oof because they're only mad because Rose is really smart. Like, no one's out here like "oh my god Ace you didn't recognize the tape??" Y'know, because they think he's stupid. Rose has a really good memory, which raises the standards really high, which sets Rose up for failure.

In Rose's defense, she also never saw the tape in Nico's gym murder OR on the carousel for Arei's murder. She only saw the pieces in the trash can, which seemed to be inside out. Against Rose's defense, it would probably have been for the best if she'd gone in to look at the crime scene.

Am I tripping, or is "fish misunderstanding" a weird way for David to phrase this? The misunderstanding with Teruko was assuming that the murder happened last night, which was in fact because of the fish-- but the thing Teruko should have noticed, which makes it Teruko's mistake specifically, was the body swinging.

I'm probably reading into things too hard, but it's so hard with David. What do you know!!!

Damn, Teruko is SPEEDRUNNING this character arc. Considering we basically know she's locked in for all 6 chapters, I'm really surprised to see her making this much progress this fast.

I'm guessing that this means that Teruko is probably due for a major setback sometime sooner or later. But, interestingly, this makes me feel like Teruko realizing that working alone doesn't work isn't her character arc's end destination; it's the willingness to open herself up to caring about others even in the face of the consequences of losing someone you love. Teruko is closing herself off from everyone because she knows she's going to lose them. Maybe her end destination is allowing herself to love people, even if she might lose them someday.

This was fruity as hell btw. I'm starting to think Rose may be our replacement support if Charles does die in Chapter 3.

It's so funny that this is basically Teruko claiming in-universe protag privilege. Go off, queen.

I also said something along the lines of "Hu are we really doing this again." Totally forgot that the BDA is still relevant, lol.

I personally find the way Veronika phrased this to be very telling from an author's POV. Veronika doesn't say "she must not have committed the murder," she says "she must not have witnessed the murder." It would be totally reasonable for any of the students to forget that the rule is written in a way where a killer could fail to see the moment of murder, but DRDTdev wanted to draw attention to the rule's exact phrasing again, which is a deviation from the phrasing in the canon games.

To be clear here, I stand by this even if Eden isn't the killer and the BDA group really is Eden/Whit/Teruko. I still think it could be a reminder for a future chapter when it comes up. But, I don't think it makes sense to change the phrasing of a base rule unless there's a specific reason you want it to be different. Whether now or later, this feels like a reminder that it IS possible for the blackened to trigger the BDA.

I don't necessarily "believe David," per se, but I do think it's interesting that we're drawing attention to this. I don't really think it matters, especially because I doubt the characters remember, but I'd place my bets on Eden being the last one because of that, "Teruko, wait!" thing.

It doesn't matter because, if David or anyone else saw the body, no one can confirm which two of Teruko, Whit and Eden set off the BDA, but it's an interesting note.

It's so funny how no one, fanbase or in-universe, can tell if David is lying though. Like, he COULD have seen it, but he also easily could just be making shit up to try to throw the Trial again.

will I EVER understand what the fuck this man is cooking

Why. I thought you wanted to end the killing game to finish what Xander started. I don't know what's happening :( /pos

My guess for now is just that he's still trying to kill Teruko, in keeping with Xander's plans?? Idk how making her more distrustful makes her more likely to die, though.

I do find it very interesting that Eden's approach/reaction has been to be very quiet and freaked out whereas Ace's approach/reaction is to freak out VERY loudly. Ace's is fitting because what does he do other than freak out loudly, but I might have expected Eden to do... idk, something else? It makes enough sense though, considering either the group is right to suspect her, or she's still coping with losing Arei a little bit ago.

...*squints REALLY fucking hard*

The music and voice acting in this section is REALLY fucking good. It's sad/charming/soft enough that it feels like it could be genuine, but there's still a little something that makes you have to question whether or not it's real. You WANT to believe Eden, but it's so hard to do so fully.

Y'all think Eden's crying is reminding Teruko of whatever Arei's crying reminded her of?

i'm out of images :(

I really like Teruko assuming that Eden is innocent first. She's too distrusting and also reasonable (it is life or death after all) to just hard clear Eden based on nothing, but she's offering a bit of a reprieve to Eden. Eden's friendship means that she isn't going to get immediately targeted in her most down moment, and that's it. It's a small way to show Eden she does care.

On another note, the fact that Eden got to hug Teruko and that Teruko said the "let go of me" NOW is honestly one of the main reasons I trust Eden more. I felt like that was obviously going to happen, but I was expecting the post-Trial. Putting it here is wild.

Theory Update/Analysis

Oh boy, it's accusing time! It makes sense that we're going to start with Ace. At this point, I can honestly see it going either way. Major props to DRDTdev either way, but ESPECIALLY if Eden really is the culprit. I was so confident in it, but they're really making me question my assumptions.

I think that both Ace and Eden have good reasons to be the blackened or not to be, and good reasons to die here or to not. I'm going to do my best to make a list of reasons for both characters and give a bit of my thoughts on them. They're roughly ranked in most to least important order imo, but I didn't think too hard about it.

EDEN

Reasons Eden Would Be The Blackened:

THE TAPE: It would be easier for her to take the tape than Ace, as attention was on Ace in the gym. The tape's disappearance from the background also happens to coincide with Ace knocking her over and her standing back up.

THE NOTE: Eden already knows all the info she would need to know to write that note. She could have put the note back together to give herself a defense, to try to disprove herself as the culprit with her handwriting, because Rose was going to do it anyways, and/or to frame Arturo if she didn't know he had an alibi. I think any of these reasons, or a combination of these reasons, are enough to make it possible, and while Ace could've overheard, it's definitely less easy for him.

NOT BELIEVING AREI: Both Arei and Charles have, in this trial, been shown to question whether or not Eden believed Arei wanted to be Eden's friend. If Eden simply did, this plot point goes nowhere.

A GOOD PERSON: Eden has been called a good person, but other than that freaky CG, nothing has really come of it. Is the plot relevance of Eden being a good person really going to resolve by saying "Eden is a good person, she'd never kill her friend!"? If a good person isn't gold, Eden still feels like a missing piece of that puzzle.

INCENTIVE TO FRAME NICO: This one's a bit more of a reach, but I don't really understand the point of framing Nico if you're Ace. Of course Ace is going to insist Nico is the murderer no matter what. If you're Eden, you have a direct audience to setting it up similarly: Ace. If you can get Ace to go all in on Nico, that's one less person who was in the Gym who suspects you. Eden and Teruko feel less likely to say "oh well it looks like Nico's murder so it MUST be Nico."

HEAVY FOCUS IN CH 2: DRDTdev seems to give the chapter death's important content shortly before their deaths. Eden has been one of the most prominent characters this chapter, which could be a bad sign.

Reasons Eden Wouldn't Be the Blackened

HER EMOTIONAL REACTIONS: I think I stand with everyone else when I say that the thing giving me pause with Eden!Culprit is how devastated she truly seems to be. I do still think it could be a combo of guilt and panic over the prospect of dying, but it's hard to justify everything.

HER FRIENDSHIP WITH AREI: Sort of a spinoff of the last one, but Arei was at least offering to Eden to be friends and to protect her. If Eden did believe that, to any extent at all, it's hard to imagine her killing Arei in cold blood.

THE FISH: The biggest question when it comes to evidence as to how Eden could be the killer. If Nico fed the fish and they were all still there last night, and Eden had an alibi until after the Relax Room closed, how would she have gotten the fish to add to the crime scene?

THE BDA: Easy to ignore imo considering we've already called it into question within the series proper, but still worth talking about. For Eden to be the culprit, either someone else saw the body first and isn't claiming to have (or it's David), or we're burning the "Eden didn't witness the crime and thus could still trigger the BDA" card here.

GENDER BALANCE: Possibly an irrelevant point, but it is true that we've had 2 women and 1 man die so far. If a man was the killer, it'd keep it even. Unlikely to be relevant as any disparity could be easily balanced out in Chapter 3 with (presumably) 3 death slots.

Points About Eden That Could Go Either Way

THE FORK CG: I firmly believe that this could be setting up for Eden being a more important character throughout the series or to die after a moment of intrigue, possibly letting us explore/imply more in her post-death bonus episode.

RELATIONSHIP WITH HU: Hu has lost David as a sane ally. Nico is telling her that they don't want her speaking for them and that they don't trust her. Would DRDTdev prefer to fully isolate Hu moving into Chapter 3 by getting rid of Eden, or to leave Hu with one friend who still believes in her.

CHARLES HAVING EDEN'S SECRET: By telling us Eden's secret ahead of time by Charles revealing it to Teruko, extra focus was given to Eden's secret. Was this just the easiest way to get everyone's secrets revealed based on character dynamics, or was it meant to imply that Eden's secret is extra important? Is that because she's the killer? Is it a #ArEden sweep???

ACE

(why are they both orange)

Reasons Ace Would Be The Blackened:

NO EVIDENCE-BASED ISSUES: This is the biggest and strongest point across the whole board imo. There is no tangible, evidence-based reason why Ace COULDN'T have done the crime. Out of all 13 currently surviving students, he's the only one who that's true for. That obviously makes him a viable suspect.

WOULD ABSOLUTELY FUCKING DO IT: Ace has been Freaking The Fuck Out this chapter. I could VERY easily see him deciding to kill here. I don't think anyone is trying to argue that Ace is too emotionally attached to the cast to try to kill all of them, because he clearly isn't.

WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?: I'm not really sure where Ace's character is going to go from here. I'd be interested in seeing more from him, but, like, where is his character arching to if not a killer? Ace is so disliked and intense that it's hard to imagine him really, fully pivoting and caring about others, but if he can't do that, is he destined to be a killer eventually?

HEAVY FOCUS IN CH 2: DRDTdev seems to give the chapter's death important content shortly before their deaths. Ace has been one of the most prominent characters this chapter, which could be a bad sign.

Reasons Ace Wouldn't Be the Blackened

OBVIOUSNESS & POINT OF CHARACTER: Of course Ace would be willing to kill Arei or whoever and the rest of the students. This is kind of the inverse of my "would absolutely fucking do it" point-- I don't know exactly how much surprise it would carry if Ace were to be the culprit. And, more than that, I feel like the point of Ace is that he is a victim here, but he's so unlikable that no one wants to acknowledge that or believe in him. I think it'd be an interesting comparison, if everyone really wants Ace to be the killer, but he just isn't. To everyone's dismay, Ace is still here. Now what?

SECRET LARGELY UNRESOLVED: Ace's secret hasn't really had any plot relevance yet. It seems like most people's do. I'm like lowkey expecting them to bring back the starvation motive from SDR2 in Chapter 4 and have SOMETHING happen with Ace there. Either way, while it could be reserved for his bonus episode (a la Min and Xander), I'd expect that his secret would have more main-story impact before he dies.

EXISTENCE OF SCRUM DEBATE: We're suspecting Ace first, but we still haven't done the scrum debate for this trial. Unless the scrum debate is "do we just vote for Ace without ever really pursuing Eden" and the answer is "yes," I don't see how we get out of this suspecting Ace period with a scrum debate without at least entertaining the idea of Ace's innocence.

STRONG CONNECTIONS TO OTHER CAST MEMBERS: Ace is very relevant to the Levi, Nico and Hu plotlines right now. Are they really going to just... get rid of him, when that's what both Nico and Hu would want?

ABILITY TO FIGURE OUT THE CONTRAPTION: Ace would not only have to recognize the way in which Nico was trying to kill him (which, to be fair is easier if he did wake up partway through), he would also have to conceptualize and figure out how to make the playground contraption successfully. I think Eden's clockmaking skills and... generally higher intelligence imo would be better suited to that.

COWARDICE: Ace is so fucking scared of everything. Would he want to put himself into harm's way by becoming the killer and having a do or die moment in the Trial? But, is he more scared of dying as a victim in the killing game, after seeing how close Nico came to killing him?

Points About Ace That Could Go Either Way

TAYLOR LORE DROP: Ace's friend, named Taylor per a Q&A with the dev, got vagued about in this Trial. Is that something to be pursued in a later Ace free time (following the one with Levi), or is that something that's going to be explained further in Ace's bonus episode (which could VERY easily be about friendship, considering it's Mai fucking Akasaki as the other person in the convo).

ACE'S BREAKDOWN @ LEVI: When Ace said he didn't fall for Levi caring about him at all, was that him affirming himself that it was the correct decision to try to kill, even if it'd put Levi's life at stake, who he previously kinda liked? Or was he lying to himself, and, at least previously, he wouldn't have wanted to kill Levi, no matter how harsh he seemed on the surface?

Well, that's all I got! Please let me know if you can come up with any more points for any of the 6 categories, because I'm very very curious to hear them! I'm thinking I might try to do an expansion on this in a separate post before next episode if I have time, exploring the ins and outs of each point with more textual evidence to back it up. I'd love to discuss any reader-suggested points too, if y'all have some in mind!

For now, I'm still personally leaning towards Eden as the culprit over Ace, but I wouldn't be surprised to see it be either of them. Well, other than the fact that my reaction to the killer being revealed is going to be :O no matter what.